#the hermits (gay edition)

[captainmalewriter]

Miss Pigwin's Journal

Among the myriad of stereotypes surrounding gay men, Ivan never really fit into any of them. He was never the flamboyant queen nor the circuit party gay. Ivan always considered himself to be more of a lone wolf type. Although many would find the life of a social hermit boring and exhausting, Ivan truly didn’t mind his quiet, solitary lifestyle. Just class, work, gym, rinse and repeat. It was a simple routine, but it was one that Ivan loved. 

One evening, after his engineering classes, Ivan made a quick pit stop at the local store before heading back to his apartment. He needed to buy a new journal after he had filled out the last page the night before. Journaling was a hobby that Ivan took very seriously. For the past five or so years, Ivan would take 10 minutes every night to write his complete, unfiltered thoughts in his journal before bed. It was a therapeutic practice for Ivan, and he did not plan to stop anytime soon. 

Ivan was hoping to find a stylish yet relatively cheap journal but was quickly met with disappointment instead as he made his way down the stationary aisle. The store had completely run out of notebooks! A nearby employee told Ivan that the overnight crew would restock the store and that he should return the next day, but he was too determined to give up after having gone through the trouble of walking to the store. He scoured the store until he finally found one misplaced notebook, although its gaudy design left much to be desired…

It was a bright pink journal with glimmering sequins and came with a large bundle of pink ribbon. The journal had an ugly cartoon drawing of a pig in a princess dress along with her name ‘Miss Pigwin’ written in glitter across the top of the cover page. Ivan pulled out his phone and did a quick internet search to find out more about the Miss Pigwin notebook. Apparently, it was limited edition merchandise for some obscure children’s cartoon that never made it past 5 episodes. The idea behind Miss Pigwin was that kids could better understand their pets by helping them communicate with them. Kids were tie a piece of ribbon around an animal, and with Miss Pigwin's help, they would become their best friends. At least that was what the old advertisements promised anyway.

Obviously, the designers meant it to be used for pets like dogs and cats, so it was no wonder the pink journal was quickly discontinued after kids tried to tie ribbons around dangerous, wild animals instead. All in all, it was just cheap scraps of overly decorated paper for imaginative little girls. 

Ivan didn’t care much for the girly pink notebook. However, it was still a notebook at the end of the day, and the $5 price tag was too enticing to give up. He bought it and promptly returned to his apartment where his roommate Jesse was hosting a few of his frat friends over for beer pong. 

Ivan and Jesse were not friends but they were civil enough as roommates. Jesse wasn’t officially a part of a frat yet, but he already had the wild personality of a frat brother anyway. Jesse’s constant partying and drinking was annoying to Ivan, so he often made himself scarce—  as he did that night. He went about his usual nighttime routine and thankfully, by the time he sat down at his desk to journal, all of Jesse’s guests were gone. But just before he could touch pen to paper, Jesse came stumbling into the room.

“Hey, bro, you got any ribbon or string by any chance?” Jesse asked. Ivan hesitated saying yes right away.

“Maybe, what for?” 

“There’s this stupid Tiktok trend going on right now. Dudes are tying a piece of ribbon around their bicep and flexing until it breaks. The bros are saying I need to do every trend I see if I wanna continue rushing.”

“Cool, makes sense. Here, you can have it all. I don’t need it.”

Ivan took the bundle of ribbon that came with the Miss Pigwin journal and helped Jesse tie a piece around his bicep. Although Ivan did not like Jesse in that way, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit excited as he wrapped the ribbon around his straight roommate’s muscular arm. It was probably the only time he’d be that close to Jesse, so he relished in the moment as much as he could. Once it was tied, Jesse thanked him and left the room to record his Tiktok. Meanwhile, Ivan returned to his journal and began writing. 

March 12th - I am soo fucking h*rny. Sometimes, I wish my roommate would give in to his secret desires and just makeout with me already. 

Just as Ivan finished writing the last letter, a terrifying scream coming from the living room interrupted his journaling session. He quickly ran out with the pink journal in hand and saw Jesse straining himself to break the ribbon. No matter how hard he flexed, the pink ribbon stayed firmly wrapped around his bicep.

Although Ivan was worried about the pink ribbon constricting Jesse's arm, he couldn't help but stare at the massive bulge in his roommate's gray sweatpants. It was huge! Was Jesse hard? Ivan always had a feeling that his straight roommate was packing some serious heat downstairs, but he would've never guessed he'd be that big and thick! Just seeing his bulge was enough to make Ivan's jaw drop!

"Dude is this ribbon made out of fucking titanium or some shit! Where the fuck did you even get this!?" Jesse yelled out in anguish. It was enough to bring Ivan back down to Earth.

"I don't know! It came free with this weird notebook I found."

"Whatever!! Just go get the scissors! This shit's way too tight, my arm's starting to go numb!"

"Right! Hang on, I'll be right back!"

Uh oh!!

Just as Ivan turned around to go get the scissors, a sudden high-pitched voice made him stop dead in his tracks. It was a girl's voice, and it was coming from the notebook in his hands. Ivan looked down and froze from what he saw. The cartoon princess pig had come to life!

Uh oh!! It looks like our new friend isn't being a very good listener! Let's play some music to help clear his mind!

Miss Pigwin began singing a melody while soft piano music played. The music had no effect on Ivan, but it did on Jesse. Jesse suddenly stopped fighting and just laid flat on the floor. Within seconds, he had gone from a pissed off jock trying to rip the ribbon off his arm to eerily calm and relaxed. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled heavily. Jesse had a dazed look in his eyes once he opened them. He had a dull, almost sleepy-like expression plastered on his face too. It was like he was sedated by simply listening to Miss Pigwin's song! Only once Jesse was fully relaxed did Miss Pigwin finally stop the music.

Yayyy!! No more distracting thoughts! Now what did our best friend tell us?

Ivan watched in awe as Jesse got up from the ground while massaging his protruding bulge. His movements were almost mechanical, like a mindless robot following orders. He then began walking towards Ivan while reciting what Ivan had written inside the Miss Pigwin journal.

"I'm soo h*rny... I just wanna make out with my roommate. I'm soo h*rny... I just wanna make out with my roommate. I'm soo h*rny... I just wanna make out with my roommate."

It was incredible. Despite having never read it, Jesse kept repeating what Ivan had written over and over like a personal mantra!

Once Jesse closed the gap between them, Ivan got a good look how dilated his pupils were. It was quite the sight to see, though Jesse didn't give Ivan any time to react. Instead, he quickly joined his lips with Ivan's and kissed him roughly. Ivan was caught off guard by the surprise kiss but quickly matched Jesse's energy as the two kissed like it was their last night being alive. Ivan could hardly believe it. He had gone from merely tolerating his roommate's existence to making out with him in the same night! He felt himself light up with joy and pleasure as Jesse's hairy chest pressed against his with every kiss.

They continued at it for a while, locking lips until they gradually moved towards the couch. From there, they both discarded any remaining clothes they had on. Ivan hopped into Jesse's strong arms and went in for another deep kiss. He was shuddering with anticipation as he felt Jesse's rock hard boner tap against his butt. Luckily for him, it didn't take them much longer until they decided to get into position. Ivan spit onto Jesse's cock to lube it up, then guided it into his hole. A deep, sensual moan escaped his mouth as Jesse slowly thrusted his hips into him. Inch by inch, his dick disappeared into his ass. The room then filled with the sounds of men grunting and heavy, cum-filled balls clapping against Ivan's cheeks. Ivan was in heaven, while Jesse was in a trance with only one thought in his mind. Give into his desires, and makeout with his roommate.

Ivan woke up the next morning feeling like a brand new man after the amazing pounding he had received from Jesse. To say he was in a state of bliss would be a massive understatement! Even just remembering the feeling of Jesse's massive cock inside of him was enough to make Ivan smile with delight. But his grin quickly faded when he reached out for the Miss Pigwin journal and found it wasn't where he had left it before falling asleep. Even worse, he found a piece of pink ribbon had been tied around his wrist while he was sleeping.

"No... Nononono NOO!!"

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty! Looking for something?"

To Ivan's horror, Jesse was holding the Miss Pigwin journal and he looked furious! Although, despite the present danger, Ivan couldn't help but notice that Jesse still had the same ribbon tied around his bicep.

"Hey man... Let's put down the journal, and have a civilized conversation between adults. I promise it's not what it looks like, just let me ex-"

"Nahh FUCK that. I'm glad I woke up just before you did, otherwise I would've never found out what the fuck you did to me with this weird journal. You always gave me weird vibes but this? I... I don't even know where to start I'm so MAD!"

Jesse slammed a fist against the wall, startling Ivan. He then let out a maniacal chuckle as he pulled out a pen and opened the journal.

"Alright, Ivan, you wanna fuck up my mind so badly? Two can play at that game!"

Loud scribbling filled the room. Once he finished, Jesse read out loud what he wrote.

"Ivan's too serious for his own good. He needs to lighten up and join my frat so we can become best bros forever!!"

"...That's stupid. I'm not gonna do that."

"Are you sure?"

Uh oh!!

"I think Miss Pigwin might disagree with-"

Ivan smacked the book out of Jesse's hands, catching him off guard. The journal landed against the wall with a loud thud. Ivan wasted no time making a break for the journal. He bought himself a few seconds by smacking it away from Jesse. Those few seconds were all he needed to open the journal to a new page and write something down. In the heat of the moment, he could only think of one thing to write.

"Jesse's gay 4 me!"

"YOU FUCKER! ERASE THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW!!"

Jesse grabbed the journal but Ivan had a tight grip on it. The two slammed into the nearby walls and furniture as they tried to wrestle it out of the other's hands. The Miss Pigwin journal was getting torn and crumpled up in the crossfire of their fight, but that didn't stop the princess from carrying out her sole purpose.

It looks- New friend- Good listener! Let's- Some music- clear his mind!

Miss Pigwin began singing her soothing song, forcing both men into a hypnotic trance as they listened. They both fell to the ground screaming as the pink ribbons grew tighter around their bodies. They tried plugging their ears with their fingers, but it was already too late. The second they heard the first few notes of her song, Miss Pigwin was already deep within subconscious- ready to broadcast whatever was written in the journal directly into their brains. However, because the journal had gotten destroyed during the fight, Miss Pigwin's subliminal messaging turned out to be incredibly potent than usual.

Ivan fell back against the ground in a daze. He couldn't believe how discombobulated he was. It was like he was trapped underwater as he felt his mind beginning to clear of any and all thoughts. Ivan let out a heavy sigh as a powerful, cool calm filled his body. Soon enough, the only thing he could think about was how badly he wanted to become a frat bro just like Jesse. Ivan repeated his new life mantra to himself as his mind became hyper focused on only one goal.

"I need to lighten up... I need to join a frat... I need to become best bros with Jesse..."

A lot of his engineering knowledge got wiped away from his mind to make room for his new personality. Mathematics and physics were replaced with workout regimes and a strong, itching need to drink and get laid. The partying lifestyle of the frat bro that once repulsed Ivan became as normal as breathing to the former homebody gay man. Ivan tried resisting against Miss Pigwin's conditioning. He tried reminding himself how much he loved a quiet night at home by himself. He tried recalling how much he hated loud, obnoxious men who did nothing but party and drink all night. But everytime he tried fighting against it, the little voice repeating his mantra grew louder and louder until all opposition was completely stamped out. Ivan had been reborn.

As he rose from the ground with an altered conscience and personality, the only thing on Ivan's mind was how to maximize his gains the next time he hit the gym. After all, how could he even dare to show his face around his frat brothers if he couldn't keep up with them in terms of bodybuilding?

Meanwhile, Jesse laid out sprawled on the ground as a calm stupor washed over his aggravated mind. Soon enough, his mind became a quiet place where only one thought remained.

"I'm gay for Ivan... I'm gay for Ivan... I'm gay... For Ivan..."

Jesse repeated the same sentence to himself until the words no longer felt foreign leaving his mouth. Soon enough, saying he was gay for Ivan felt as natural as saying his name. His desires to sleep with women melted away from his subconscious everytime he recited his new mantra.

Like Ivan, Jesse tried fighting against it. He tried remembering the taste and feel of a woman's touch, but it was no use against Miss Pigwin's powerful conditioning. His memories of being with women were quickly fading. In their place, a deep, profound love for his roommate-turned-loved began to take hold. Within minutes, Jesse wanted nothing more in life than to stand by his boyfriend's side and make sure he felt loved.

Once Ivan and Jesse woke up to their new personalities, Miss Pigwin finished her song, never to be heard from again due to the journal being in tatters. Jesse woke up with a headache and with a grinning Ivan by his side.

"Good morning my handsome boyfriend, how'd you sleep?"

"Amazing because I slept with you, my love." Jesse joined his lips against Ivan's. The two shared a deep kiss filled with passion, ending with a loud smack when they finally pulled apart.

"You ready for today? I can't wait to start the rushing process, then we can join together!" Ivan flashed a wide smile. Jesse wrapped his hands around Ivan's neck.

"The frat can wait till later. Right now, I want you all to myself."

He pulled Ivan in for another kiss. The two men then proceeded to fuck all morning, completely unaware of the strange circumstances that led them to that point. All thanks to a little princess pig on the cover of a bright pink notebook.

[ahllohehn]

HERMITS AND THE OLYMPIANS MASTERPOST (07/31/2024)

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Hermits and The Olympians/Emperors of Olympus is a Hermitcraft/Empires SMP based Percy Jackson AU based off my art and headcanons!

(Please do not use the tags for other PJO AUs as I use them to specifically label what's based off mine.)

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Seperated by art/doodles, headcanons/discussion, fanfics:

# 1 MUMBO PORTRAIT # 2 GRIAN, PEARL, SCAR & MUMBO ART # 3 HaTO FAN CREATION GUIDELINES # 4 GEM, CLEO, DOC PORTRAITS # 5 ETHO & BDUBS THANK YOU CARD # 6 STRESSMONSTER THANK YOU CARD # 7 CAMP EMPIRES FIRST APPEARANCE; BAD BOYS DOODLE # 8 OUTDATED CAMPERS GODLY PARENT SUMMARY # 9 CHIBI MUMBO THANK YOU CARD # 10 GRIAN CLOSE UP # 10.5 WATCHERS CAMEO??? # 11 BDUBS & SCAR; DEMETER CABIN'S HONORARY CAMPER # 12 RENDOG PORTRAIT # 13 MUMSCARIAN / RE: AU SHIPS # 14 IS THERE A CANON PLOT? Answer: I stick with what is canon to me, but I do not force others to follow so. As I am too lazy to do an actual plot. # 15 CHIBI STRESS & MUMBO # 16 BDUBS..? # 17 ETHO PORTRAIT / 1ST AU FICLET # 18 I JUST THINK THEATER KID ARES KID REN IS FUNNY # 19 JOEL AND LIZZIE; SOULMATES IN EVERY UNIVERSE # 20 ORACLE GEM...? # 21 oh snappers! (LOW QUALITY ETHO DOODLE) # 22 AT THIS POINT, DIONYSUS, ARES, AND APOLLO SHOULD FIGHT TO THE DEATH TO SEE WHO GETS CUSTODY OF REN # 23 SKIZZ & IMPULSE PORTRAITS / HEADCANONS # 24 ZEDAPH PORTRAIT

# 25 Camp Oracle’s Journal; Hermits and The Olympians # 26 GRIAN - THE DEATHLY ACTIVITIES MANAGER # 27 ISKALL & TANGO PORTRAITS # 28 KERALIS & XISUMA'S PERSONALLY MADE CAMP PIN # 29 I REALLY LIKE MAKING FUN OF REN /AFFE # 30 I ALSO REALLY LIKE INCLUDING MARTYN INTO THE MIX /AFFE

# 31 TREEBARK ARE MY BOYFAILURES # 32 RENDERED CAMP LOGOS (PNGS IN DISCORD SERVER) # 33 SHELBY & SCOTT PORTRAITS # 34 ETHUBS MY BELOVEDS :) # 35 INTRODUCING: GIGGS # 36 RE: CAMP EMPIRES AND CAMP HERMITCRAFT DOUBLES # 37 LET OLD MEN BOND LIKE OLD MEN (ETHO & TANGO) # 38 OFFICIAL HaTO DISCORD SERVER ANNOUNCEMENT # 39 MYTHICALSAUSAGE PORTRAIT # 40 XISUMA PORTRAIT # 41 HaTO FIRST COMIC SHITPOST # 42 FALSE, KERALIS, & BEEF PORTRAITS # 43 WELS & HYPNO PORTRAITS # 44 MUMSCARIAN FIRST MEETING DOODLE # 45 WHY IS WELS AN ATHENA KID? # 46 HOW IS GEM THE ORACLE # 47 HaTO SECOND COMIC SHITPOST (PRIDE MONTH) # 48 DESERT DUO ANIMATIC; INSPIRED BY BEAN'S TRAITOR SCAR FIC

# 49 MARTYN PORTRAIT / HEADCANONS # 50 IF SCAR WERE TO BE APHRODITE'S.... # 51 REN VS JARS # 52 LIZZIE PORTRAIT # 53 HaTO SCAR & GEM EMOTES # 54 HaTO CHIBIS BOUQUET DOODLE # 55 GRIAN AND HIS SON # 56 KATHERINE ELIZABETH PORTRAIT # 57 MUMSCARIAN MATCHING ICONS FOR PRIDE # 58 HOW ARE YEAR ROUNDERS GETTING EDUCATION? # 59 SHINY DUO MATCHING ICONS # 60 AROACE PEARL (PRIDE MONTH) # 61 BISEXUAL CLEO (PRIDE MONTH) # 62 CAMP CUDDLE SESSIONS # 63 TREEBARK COMEBACK # 64 When Does a Man Become a Monster?; Hermits and The Olympians

# 65 BOAT BOYS MATCHING ICONS # 66 WHAT DOIN'? CAMP HERMITCRAFT EDITION # 67 "I'M A CHILD OF DIVORCE" GESTURES TO ETHUBS # 68 MORE ETHUBS HEADCANONS CUS IM GAY AND SO ARE THEY # 69 DO NOT ANGER THE NON-ZOMBIE WOMAN, MR. ETHO # 70 NATURE WIVES # 71 I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE HEPHAESTUS CABIN'S ABILITIES # 72 TREEBARK MATCHING ICONS # 73 OLI PORTRAIT & HEADCANONS # 74 IT'S NOT ME IF THERE'S NO ETHUBS # 75 WELCOME TO HERMITCRAFT: GRIAN TEXT ADVENTURE # 76 GEM'S ORACLE CAVE TOUR

#77 THE BOYS (+ GEM) GO SHOPPING FOR SUITS #78 PEARL CHARACTER CARD #79 Camper Files; Hermits and The Olympians #80 STRESS PORTRAIT #81 CUBFAN PORTRAIT #82 FWHIP PORTRAIT

#83 PIXLRIFFS PORTRAIT #84 RANCHERS #85 WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH TREEBARK IN MY INBOX? #86 IDK HOW SAD I'M SUPPOSED TO MAKE SCOTT #87 LONG TIME, NO NATURE WIVES? #88 AREN'T WE ALL A LITTLE SILLY FOR GRIAN SOMETIMES? #89 I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW I JUST BE SAYING ANYTHING ATP

# SECOND MASTERPOST LINK

OTHER HaTO Related Links:

HaTO Roleplay Blogs Masterpost by gem-the-oracle HaTO Archive of Our Own Series HaTO Discord Server

[absolutefilthimsosorry]

Spoilers for DnP Incohearent!!!!

I’m having so much fun trying to solve these that I made a list to keep track! Message if you can help me fill in any I’m missing or if I’ve got any wrong!!!

Also lmk if you see any I’ve missed!! I’m going to keep updating this and have it unrebloggable but you can reblog this post to have a link to it!

These are all gathered from this post and this post so check the notes on those first to try to solve them then look here if you need answers!

Sow march cheer ray = so much cherry

Wee nay urn for uke oye yer tub = we’ve never fucked on youtube?

Ta fold in fig = the golden pig

Feed hay hid eho = vday video

Tat he won ape hit morse him he = daddy want a bit more simmy

Watt ken ice hay = what can I say

North key bus teabag king = naughty busty baking

Fool tie enter nit hobo / fall tie mint her nepo moe / fault aye mint earn are ohm owe/ foul thyme inch hermit hole mold = full time internet homo

Cumin mile aid deed or = come in my ladydoor

Hum hay zinc tan = amazingdan

Elven ower fug sedge own = eleven hour fuck session

An berry moth ribeye adam stir = and every month we buy a hamster

March rest array = Manchester eye

Cyst herding yell = sister daniel

Add a ding teps = editing tips

Cop dubai khaki luna = topped by kakuna

Late eat tore = ladydoor

Half tugger etch two eggs cyst = have the courage to exist

Perish she end wink = Parisian twink

Coal ten big/ goal then pick = golden pig

Cyst ordain yell = sister daniel

Train youth inks = try new things

Gay mean moss/ gain ink mass = gamingmas

Soften need = soft and neat

A wools lied = owl slide

Topper bought them hill = top or bottom Phil

Coat fit firenze = golf with friends???

Few ours pig meow fits = viewers pick my outfits

Read less tar = red lester

Eye eight soup igloo = I ate super glue

Insight youth era too walls = inside you there are two wolves

Mine amy stan = my name is Dan

Clap hella = glabella

Hiss teeth rent = hits different

Eel eyes apron kay kiss = Eliza pancakes

See pram haze ink bra jet = super amazing project

Feels lie yawn = phils lion

Fuel ease snot dawn fair = Phil is not on fire

Jaw shush ear son = josh hutcherson

Ball bull him tour food = bauble in your foot?

Sure eck = shrek

High ate dust = hiatus

Add a dink deps = editing tips

Ga hay shoom air age = gay shoe marriage

Pope eat plate aim = poppy playtime

Eat aches stu = it takes two

Goo gal few ed = google feud

Baze ick lee eye meg ay = basically I’m gay

Ko min yout ti ew = coming out to you

Ender knit subvert grew oop = internet support group

Phylis turn yar a sheen yes = PHIL LESTER YOU’RE A GENIUS

With Audi intern yet wean ed brr wood halve mat = without the internet we never would have met

Gum ban yins drool I’ve = companions through life

Reed sons wide answer flail = reasons why dans a fail

Ewan dam ah some are reed = you and Dan are so married

Denver sis fill/ Denver cis full = Dan vs Phil

Or lawn huffing = all or nothing

Dunk rye core raft = don’t cry craft

Mortal jester roam and thick/ Morph adjust row antic = more than just romantic

So wall how debris poll light = swallow to be polite???

Oar hinge art = orange heart

Foray virgo em = forever home

Chai reel loop/ share real oob = cherry lube

Cad boyd anne = cat boy dan

Far turf ill lip = father philip

Tess lit hen ink = the slittening

Forth house indie rolled or touches = four thousand year old tortoises

Hey moth swish roundup floating = a month without uploading

Jam march let pet tea an farms = Je mange les petit enfants

Day lion howl tour = Dalien Howlter

Ima let all kit = I’m a little kit

Feel pearl lays shell ter = Phil plays shelter

Fewer blue key app ending = viewer spooky happenings

Hell low iam tour reel = hello I am Toriel

Laugh tuh gey mile kuh = left to get milk

Villas eek wreck why vuh = Phil’s secret wife

Footy strain gin said dent = ___ strange incident????

Snow core play sum = snokoplasm

Nope puts cereal sleeping mage innit = no but seriously imagine it

Tear rip pulling flu hence = terrible influence

Jeff why eye aisle hike vague liner = fyi I like vagina

Eggs intense all cry cis = existential crisis

List of contributors

@fletthewreck @dandp @deadandphilgames @manchesterau @thephouseplants @awrfhi @jonsaremembers @rachosaurusrex @dapgolf @dan-whoell @dnphobe @dreamingalto @steveandscraggy @phanbeats @danandfuckingjonlmao @pepper-pastry @yonpote @un-interactive-introvert @spaniel-trowel @sisterdanieldyke @queerdnp @morganadelacour @amid-fandoms @spectral-kitkat @goingpheral @angelzonearth @wdapteo @2009phan @dansevilpianotea

[blog-sekai]

Unit Introduction: m4jor*REVERSAL

A group of four friends who take on a persona while they preform. Their music is often dark, tells a story or both...

*real quick: I can't draw for shit, so this is all going to be text and a bit long. Sorry :(

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About m4jor*REVERSAL:

The asterisk in their unit name represents a pentacle!

Each member is aligned with a tarot card (including the vocaloids) and as characters they tend to play off that card in interesting ways. Their card is also their stage name/alias and sometimes an alternate persona they put on for their music; that alternate persona is often called their "reversed", hence the unit name.

They all preform in costume and while wearing masks - originally as a safety/anonymity thing, now it helps them get into the headspace to preform.

Although they do street performances or take gigs for local venues, most of their work is online. Their MVs take a long time to make, because of all the recording and editing involved.

I don't have a clear genre/style for their music yet🤧in my head its very atmospheric/psychedelic? But I can't think of a clear example atm.

They're my oldest fan unit! I dusted 'em off a few weeks ago when I got back into pjsk and they're much more fleshed out now ^^

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"Even if it's only this once...please, let me be seen!"

Solomon Lucius - The Magician

Birthday: Nov 2

Height: 5'7" / 170cm

Hobbies: Tarot, People-Watching

Specialty: Rhythm Games

Favorite Food: Rose Shortbread Cookies

Least Favorite Food: Omurice

Dislikes: Hide & Seek

Despite his best efforts, Sol struggles with having presence most of the time. When preforming under his stage name, though, drawing attention to himself is effortless. He got into (western) esoterica/mythos/witchcraft in middle school, although it's more a casual hobby than a sincere belief. Secretly likes to be called nicknames, because he sees it as a sign people care.

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"One day, I swear, we'll make a happy ending!"

Arthur Charon - The Hanged Man

Birthday: August 1

Height: 5'9" / 175cm

Hobbies: Parkour, Conlangs

Specialty: Brewing Tea

Favorite Food: Soba Noodles

Least Favorite Food: Citrus

Dislikes: Roller Coasters

Arthur likes to tell stories, but all of them seem to accidentally end in tragedy or horror. He and Solomon became friends in elementary school and are quite close, but since he has a one-track mind, Art often focuses more on his other friends without meaning to. His parents are a bit traditional, but they do encourage him in his hobbies & interests. He's arguably the best dancer of the group, likely because of how much he enjoys parkour.

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"It's important to stay connected to those around you, you know?"

Rowan Delphi - The Hermit

Birthday: March 20

Height: 6' / 183cm

Hobbies: Hockey, Crafts

Specialty: Identifying Plants

Favorite Food: Flan

Least Favorite Food: Coconut

Dislikes: Thunderstorms

Rowan's involved in a lot of school activities and has a very active social life, however, he's hopeless at doing things on the fly and has to keep a planner on him most of the time. He'd never say it aloud, but Rowan tends to find a lot of people overbearing. He hates being alone because that's when the gay thoughts Horrors catch up to him, but that's also when he makes some of his best work. He's a single child, and finds sibling dynamics really interesting.

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"Eh? ...What was that, again? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention..."

Merlin Polaris - The Moon

Birthday: February 4

Height: 5'8" / 173cm

Hobbies: Reading, Stargazing

Specialty: Cold-Reading People

Favorite Food: Dumplings

Least Favorite Food: Tiramisu

Dislikes: Being Put On The Spot

Merlin has had the most prior musical experience, as he was in band for a few years in middle school & junior high. He's very popular with the girls at his school, since if you don't know him very well his aloof, spaced-out nature can be mistaken for mystique. Merlin is incredibly sharp, but he prefers to act otherwise as it takes less energy and effort, and it frees him from others' expectations. No matter the weather, he always wears long sleeves.

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Unit SEKAI: Maze

Unit Virtual Singers:

Miku - The World

In Maze Sekai, Miku is dressed like a princess. She carries herself with a noble mien that is replaced with bubbly enthusiasm when it comes to telling stories or solving riddles. She's surprisingly very grounded.

Luka - The High Priestess

Luka carries her self as a high-ranking advisor. She likes to playfully tease Miku with nonsensical riddles, and plays soft melodies to help her friends sleep. Luka seems to instinctively know where any possible book can be found in Sekai.

[biro-slay]

Still really sad, so I decided to assign a hermit(plus scott, jimmy, martyn and lizzie because I said so) to all of my mutuals and possibly followers in the future

Part one

Costco - not tagging him, I think it'd be funny if he had to find out himself. Anyways I think he'd be Joel. First of all, the mania, the way he talks. Second, he is as a obsessed with sprout as Joel is with Etho

@tha--dude - easily Rendog, you both just have the same vibe, except you aren't a wet dog(unlike Ren). You are also flirtatious, I think? Also he is really handsome and you are also handsome I bet.

@chaoscorvus - I think Hypnotizd would fit you best, kind of keeping to themselves (at least to me, sorry if it's incorrect), but also their presence impacts the environment around them.

@weiwei-uplink - I think Gem, you both just have that friendly vibe, and both are super cool! Not much more to say.

@i-love-linux-and-reject-gender - this one is hard to pick, there aren't really any mcyts like you, because if the nature of the job, but I think I'd pick Scott. You aren't as much of a "mean girl" as him, but both of you are really gay in your own way. Also you both are flirtatious, but in a different way from rendog. Also both of you are funny

@icefireanimates - I want to say Grian with my heart, but I think vibe vise you are more of a Keralis. I feel like you both are really creative in your own ways, you both seem to always know what the others are up to, and comment on current events in your space(maybe i am wrong but that's how I feel about keralis, I feel like he is constantly socializing this season). Oh, and of course you both are really silly /hihi

@elf82460 - ethoslab. I feel like I know nothing about you, yet you don't seem like an entity or anything, you feel like a person. Also, I think both of you are really kind!

@depressed-celestial-body - zombiecleo(gonna ignore that both of you are both she/they icons). You have that lowkey atmosphere, cleo has that in her videos because of the way they speak and edits. And you have it because, unfortunately, you don't get many notes on your posts, but I still love seeing them! And it's just really relaxing and cool

@case0161002 - ijevin? You both seem to have your own unique vibe that I can't describe, also you interact with other people a lot. I feel like you also both have your own unique interests

(I am going I don't watch ijevin that much, but that's my impression of him)

And, last for today:

@bottlecapsandotherthings - goodtimeswithscar. Both of you are really sweet and kind, just doing your own thing. Also you both are creative, in a world making sence, I'll explain. Scar's main thing to me is terraforming, once you are in a Scar build, you feel it's vibe, and you likely know it's Scar's. When it comes to you, from what I know you have alt blogs for specific Pokémon characters, which adds to it. But also you have your own ecosystem, where everyone is welcome!

I have, obviously, not included every one of my mutuals, they will be in part 2! Some of you I have struggled to assign a hermit to, and most of those I've left for part 2. If you have suggestions, then please tell me!!

[hollow-lime-green]

📌

VIBES: incorrigible lobotomy kaisen enjoyer, currently writing for stsg.

TAGS:

#2sorcs - everything related to my currently updating fic, two sorcerers chillin' in a hot tub (five feet apart cause they’re not gay)

#fire in your mouth - everything related to the verse

#update - finished writing! chapter posts!

#wip - all the little bits and bobs i share before it's fully cooked

#life stuff - peer behind the curtain and see my delusion

#ask - i answer things!

LINKS: AO3 | Twitter

More things and more tags under the cut!

other things about me, if you're, like, curious or whatever. not that I care. obviously. b-baka-

I study metallurgy, which is exactly what it sounds like (the study of... metal). specifically aluminum, which is totally cooler than steel.

I have lived in a lot of different places, and been a shut-in hermit in all of them

deep cut: balthus von albrecht von FE3H #1 fan. i am possibly still the author with the most published balthuri fics (low bar). my favorite #1 (Rated E), my favorite #2 (Rated M)

sometimes i put out my editing #playlists, if you're into that kind of thing

god i love food. and #cooking. sometimes I post things if i feel like I really flexed on plating

[the-lesbian-orpheus]

GUYS THE ASMP IS SO GOOD BUT LIKE WTF EMOTIONS????

Basically haven’t wandered outside of hermits and life series/empires creators before and oh my god

Spoilers for episode 7 & 8

OKAY FIRST OF ALL THE SMP STARTED CHILL AND THEN GOT SO INTENSE SO FAST BUT ITS SO GOOD

on the current most recent episode(8) and

WHERE ARE PHIL AND GUQQIE

also

NO WDYM BIG MAN JIMMMM

My guy served sillies, gave us some answers and DIED :C also still sad/sus that martyn mysteriously disappeared:(

Also so tempted to connect the watchers and listeners to the seekers but dw I’ll keep the delulu away

Also do not trust these guys

First edit from 3 mins later

OMG GUCQQIE

SLIGHTLY EVIL BUT WELL INTENTIONED OMG

NO STOP WDYM EVERYONE IS DEAD 😭

NO WHY EVIL— 😭😭

omg something different this time?!

This speech y’all-

THE GAY ANGST

AND SIMULTANEOUS LORE

Guqqie talking about how no matter what aimsey is kind wtf

“I hoped you’d pick me” 😭😭😭😭

This plot twist guys wtf

Ajdhhajfkwvdusvdbehsujdhe dhejhehshevd

[emsprovisions]

Plot twist all of these options are gay as hell

Also for funsies tell me in the tags what adventure you chose and why :))

[asoulwithadream]

guys i didn't even REALISE until NOW THAT CODE RAINBOW VANITY FAIR HAS RELEASED AN OFMD S2 FIRST LOOK!!!!!!!!

I'm actually insane, and of course my incoherent thoughts will now be discussed as sub-text to each picture. Because what else is my Tumblr good for if I'm not going to unhinged-ly ramble?????? (*edit, this post has been changed to fit my current thoughts and theories)

GUYS GUYS GUYS HE HAS A BOTTLE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE GUYS MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE- It's for Ed isn't it, OR IS IT FROM ED? Oh my god is it from LUCIUS? Or JIM? Or FRENCHIE?? This has so many possibilities oh my god MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE AAAA. PLUS WHY IS HE SLAYING SO HARD??? HIS HAIR IS ACTUALLY A LIFE GOAL AT THIS POINT IN TIME

He looks so PICKABLE oh my god why is he looking like that. AND WHERE DID HIS EMO MAKEUP GO????????? Why is it gone. What's going on, is this after or before Stede-Ed reunion. Why is he sad, what is he looking at. IS STEDE PRISONER??? I SAW A FIC ABOUT THAT- and also I just need to very calmly comment on the beautiful wonderful LACK OF STEDE'S CRAVAT AND WTF ARE PEARLS DOING THERE- He wears fine things so WELL UGH

THE GANG. And I think we've all SEEN STEDE'S RED CRAVAT. AND I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHAT IT IS. It must be it must be it must be it must be it must be it must be. Also, can I just comment AGAIN and say his fit is such a vibe??? He's slaying in the pirate wear for REAL. He looks so miserable omg just give him to Ed PLEASEEE

This picture gives me so much JOY. SPANISH JACKIE AND ED JUST GOSSIPING. But BUT BUT if you look closer, ED IS LOOKING AT SOMETHING. HE'S LOOKING AT SOMETHING FONDLY. He's looking at Stede right, he's just finished telling Jackie how much he loves his boyfriend because s1 finale never happened PLEASE WHAT'S GOING ONNNNNN

PLEASE DEAR HE LOOKS SO CONFUSED. What is he doing, what is he doing, he is up to something look at his little "don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious" face. HE IS UP TO SOMETHING, HE IS UP TO SOME SHENANIGAN. Stede stop STOP STOP

This is part of Fuckery vol.2 AND I KNOW IT. Please what are they doing in an eastern country, and please don't tell me Stede went looking for Ed in the very place he promised to follow him TO. OH MY GOD PLEASE DON'T DO THAT WHY DID I DO THAT TO MYSELF HELP ME HELPPPP BUT BUT BUT BUT LUCIUS IS ALIVE? THAT MUST BE IT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT

AND OF COURSE THE BEST PART: THE WOMEN PIRATES OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I'm gay panicking for REAL THIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME NERVOUS SWEAT. Who is she who is she I must know and please make her a lesbian I need lesbian pirates BADLY. IS SHE MARY READ OR THE MERMAID. PLEASE TELL ME I'm GOING TO FAINT

I'm going feral over her. I'M ACTUALLY GOING INSANE. PLEASE THIS IS THE PERSON OF MY DREAMS WHERE CAN I FIND THIS?????????? ANNE BONNEEEYYEYEYEYYE. ALSO THEY'RE WEARING CONTRASTING COLOURS PLEASE. I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN LESBIAN PIRATES PLEAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAH

That concludes my frilly little rant. Expect more uncontrollable behaviour from my part in the next few weeks.

Oh, and of course more in October. I will be wrapped in my breakup-robe-blanket, in my pirate shirt, underneath my Queen Anne's Revenge flag, staring at my screen like a hermit.

[blanketempress]

Yayyy OC asks!!! I request A, B, D, & E for Antoine, Arzel, & Lorenzo because I can't choose :'3 Thankie!

thank youuu <33

Anton

A) Why are you excited about this character? 

He's pretty fun to play, he's trying very hard but also acts without thinking which is great bc it means I get to do some stupid things I want to do every now and then.

He's mortified about his fucking ups but I'm not, he's my chew toy and my punching bag, I want to make his life worse 💖

B) What inspired you to create them?

I was interested in clan Malkavian and the Madness Network + found out about the archetypes of the 6 main mathuselahs we hear about ; the Dionysian whose name is self explanatory, Addemar the hermit/scientist, Tryphosa the Sybil/advisor, Brude the scholar/historian, the Black Hag witch/prophet

All six of these archetypes were pretty interesting but I picked Brude for a bloodline, then I read more about kindred historians, found out about the Mnemosyne cult, and I tossed the Church of Caine in the mix bc it made sense for a scholar to be involved with it

For his wet cat personality, I just thought it was funny to play a vampire w no backbone, and malkavians make great depressed sad wet cats. It transformed over time into him being deadly afraid of the Beast. He’s not (always) afraid of people or situations per say, he’s afraid of losing control, which is very fun to me personally

 D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? 

He’s a recycled version of an older OC, so I already had the big lines, he just looks more fucked up and a little older, I didn’t have to change much over time

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I think we'd get along at first, then he'd infuriate me so much, then we'd get along super well forever as we go through different stages of friendship

He gets along with everyone who isn't actively trying to kill him

Arzel

A) Why are you excited about this character? 

He's pretty fun to play, I like playing characters with high strength or high charisma and he has both

He fits more than well into the vtm victorian world and he's pretty nosy which means I can go and be as nosy as I, the player, want to be

B) What inspired you to create them? 

He's a recycled version of another OC of mine, who was built to be ruthless but still charming

I was invited to play VTM V5 but I didn’t know ANYTHING about the setting like, aside from the fact that it was about vampires. I read a lot of lore and I thought the 'warlord' side of the Ventrue clan was under-exploited and it's a shame. I also liked the idea of a Ventrue with humble origins but enough ambition and leadership to grab every opportunity to climb the ladder

Still hesitated between clan Brujah and clan Ventrue but in the end he kind of made a stereotypical Brujah and a more interesting Ventrue

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? 

He always had roughly the same looks, I already had a solid base with Ombe, I didn't have to tweak it much once I had decided on the general vibe 

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you? 

I think we'd get along but in a polite colleagues way 

We wouldn't be friends but I'd be happy to work w him and have a chat from time to time and I think he'd be in the same state of mind

Lorenzo

A) Why are you excited about this character? 

he’s a little freak who does crimes

I can't wait for the consequences of his actions to come bite him in the ass

B) What inspired you to create them? 

Spite, mostly. And I think necromancy is always fun to play with

In the VTMB game one of the reasons someone might not be embraced was bc he's gay, so I decided to make a gay trans Giovanni, that was literally my main motivation

Then I read the Giovanni handbook, which has all the trigger warnings in the world bc they really, REALLY wanted to make the most edgy and gross clan soooo bad, and I knew I just had to make that character out of spite

Then I had the brilliant idea to go "but wait. they're italians, they're all related, and spanning multiple generations. the petty personal drama must be INSANE" and it went downhill from there

I also thought the "you're bored out of your mind" archetype was an interesting base

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? 

We don’t talk about my very first draft where he looked like a 12 years old with greasy long hair

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you? 

I think if we were stuck at a party we can’t leave we’d have a decent conversation then never cross paths again

[auspex]

🍎💙😊👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 for Mark?

YAYYYYYYY YIPPEEE thank u

🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

He was born in a small town outsideof Detroit! He now lives in Detroit proper so like an hour ish drive from the outskirts or an hour and a half/two hours from other parts of the city. im tempted to make it Cement City but i haven't decided the canon location yet. want to consult with ST in case he was planning anything relating to it.

he has no desire to move back, but i wouldn't say it is wholly negative. there's good and bad memories there. Overall he dislikes the place and would describe it as "kind of a backwater, not interesting whatsoever, and very... conservative." lol.

💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

YEAA HE IS MY SPECIAL BOYYY ok. He has blood sorcery, which is normal for Tremere, sure. He's good at it! 3 dots right now which is fairly experienced and exceptionally high for someone who has only been dead for 8 months <3 also he has premonition due to some weird sigil Julius put on his back despite not having the normal auspex dots required for it. Also he knows how to scry on people, and how to force a group premonition, both of which are homebrew technically. also he knows blood strike which is from older editions and its mega op. he got to learn it cause he did Good on Julius Quests <3 and got a good grade in serving Julius which is both Normal to Want and Possible to Achieve of course. <3 augh. what a guy.

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

Ohhh wow yea this changed after his embrace for sure. Right now... he desires to please Julius first and foremost unfortunately. but he does have wants outside of that. He wants to get in a position where he feels safe; he wants to interview elders on history; he wants to spend days upon days researching history... i also think that now that he's undead his beast does want him to have some level of authority and so sure he wants some level of authority over other vampires as well. not a lot but enough to feel more secure. he feels somewhat entitled to it due to being Julius's childe and due to being well. generally good at things and advancing quickly in the Camarilla/Tremere. nepo baby

But yeah Mark dream: hermit house, comes down occsionally to Exert Authority; safe enough to interview elders; stable enough to spend days reading.

Oh and also important: he does NOT want to become out of touch like he has seen many other kindred become. it disgusts him. he feels Superior for not being out of touch. he SMIRKS when kindred don't know how to use phones. he appreciates cassidy trying to keep up with things despite being old so instead of feeling superior it endears him hehehehe gayass.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

FUCK i haven't thought about extended family. might confer with ST to answer. He has no siblings though, just mom and dad. he is not close with any of them. I imagine a lot of the extended family dropped him when they found out he was gay :( but yes regardless of if he has extended family, they are not close. Mark has no found family at the moment <3 lonely boy. for a minute there it looked like it could happen with Sampson and his friends/family but then he got embraced and lost that <3 he so Lonely now <3

[stitchthesewords]

Pinned Post

Hi there! I'm Stitch. This is sort of the...hq for my brainrot archive? I suppose. I post a lot about Hermitcraft and the Life Series with Empires slowly sprinkling its way in, but I also just post random nonsense sometimes. Pigs? ✅ Portal? ✅Nancy Drew? ✅ Anything my gay little heart desires. I don't really tag things that aren't oc but that might change who knows. Also I DO ship things, so. Not your cup of tea, probably should click away. My writing tag contains both links to my AO3 posts and also snippets that I don't put on AO3. This Pinned Post is probably going to be subject to edits occasionally - keep an eye out for new AUs. Also - I'm physically disabled and I sometimes post about it or reblog posts about disability - I keep them tagged as resources [see below] so that artists and writers and other people can all reference them and learn. If you have any questions about disability stuff, please don't hesitate to send me an ask! I love talking about it!

My Writing Tag | Thoughts Tag | Asks Tag | Stitch's Stitches Tag | Liveblogging Tag | AO3 Link | Stitch's Disability Resources

Also - I happen to be really into Redstone. So much so that I've made a number of resources for beginners/people who are just look for the basics for fics and art. They can be found under Stitch's Redstone Help.

I have two ongoing fanfics - Rift AU [Mumscarian] and The HC X Portal AU [Mumscarian] I share with @made-nondescript

I also have a number of AUs - Clicking these links will either take you to their individual masterposts or the tag on my blog

Superhero AU [Mumscarian] | Quadrant AU [Team ZIT X Rancher] | Connection Lost AU [Poly Hermits] | The Commission Competition [Ethubs] | Catch-All Tag <- For AU Thoughts I had that I doubt I'll expand on

I also have an AU that I share with the delightful @atherix called [very originally] the Ghost Hunting AU and I also occasionally post about my original project found here.

[thesinglesjukebox]

KYLIE MINOGUE - PADAM PADAM

[7.12]

And the beat goes on...

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: "This already feels so omnipresent, so much like background noise, that it's difficult to remember actually having a strong opinion on it. I think that the sense of crushing, inevitable momentum destroying everything in its path was very much a function of its design and was already there prior to overplaying, but I can't be 100% certain." [8]

Ian Mathers: It's kind of simultaneously both the most and least surprising thing in the world that Kylie would have a hit in 2023. Having heard of the title before hearing the song I never would have guessed it was onomatopoeia for a heart beating (and a very not-fun part of my psyche points out to me every time I listen that "Padam" is not how I'd represent what it sounds like they're singing here in text), but the abstraction suits a song that always feels chilly and in control however horny and passionate the subject matter is. It's a pretty strict machine Kylie's driving these days, but she gets a lot of mileage out of it. [8]

Will Rivitz: Art often requires its context to make sense, but context does not so much justify "Padam Padam" as it does fully stitch it together from thin air. In its moment in time, the song was a two-month fever dream, bare skin and heavy-pour vodka sodas and nitrate fumes united by camp sincerity and knowing winks, "padam" as a statement of purpose and clarity. By itself, the song blows over in a light breeze, an immediately dated EDC mainstage reject immediately forgotten if lightning had not struck. On one hand, "Padam Padam" is so inextricably interwoven with the fever dream of this past summer that the climate it ushered in by necessity makes it essential; on the other hand, this is Kylie frickin' Minogue we're talking about, and the standards she's set for herself demand a song that can stand on its own. [6]

Peter Ryan: Arguably one of the progenitors of memeability, Kylie has certainly understood it far longer than it's been a thing. Some memes make better songs than others though, and after a little breather after this summer of Padam I feel like I hear it more clearly -- synths that I wish were crisper, a clattering chorus that gets muddled to my ear, and -- both in single and extended editions -- a bridgeless wonder. "Shivers & cold champagne" is up there for Kylie place-setting, but I prefer this kind of thing from her when there's a little more to it. [6]

Josh Winters: As someone who has spent much of the past few years as a hermit, I ended up avoiding "Padam"'s reign over Pride month quite naturally. I don't know what it was like for the gays, theys, and babies who weren't there for the fever she spread with "Can't Get You Out of My Head" in 2001. To me, this is typical Kylie: a well-traveled wanderer slinking her way into our common ear to get to the heart of our most primal sensibilities. This time, the dart landed on the bullseye, giving her a viral sensation that could work as a FIFA World Cup theme, Eurovision entry, aforementioned Pride anthem, any other opportunity for collective enjoyment you may be thinking of. For those who have reduced "Padam" to Another Basic Bop and were banging their heads against the wall over the summer as to WHY THEY CAN'T ESCAPE THIS SONG... well! You hear it and you know. [8]

Rachel Saywitz: Did we actually like this song in May, or were we that desperate for a song of the summer pop hit? Regardless, "Padam Padam" is cute, if not entirely forgettable. There's something kind of "robot sexy vixen" about it, which allows me to excuse bland verses like "And we don't need to use our words / Wanna see what's underneath that T-shirt." The chorus is no doubt the track's standout; Kylie's minor third "padam" gives off a false hesitancy that's commanding in its naiveté, and is even more convincing knowing the woman singing it. I don't think "Padam Padam" the song will be in our collective consciousness a year from now, but the phrase most definitely will. [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: I dismissed the "Padam"-mania of June 2023 as a Commonwealth-country bout of exuberance -- but then I remembered I lived in Canada now and felt obligated to check it out. On further examination, this bangs exactly the right amount. It's not a revelatory, best-of-the-century reinvention of the core principles of dance music, but it's not just "good for someone who's been making music since Bob Hawke was in office" either. Most dance pop artists in Kylie's lineage would kill for a track as well-struck as this. It's a fascinating exercise in tension and release, a song lifted up from generic dancefloor filler by Kylie's mastery of the form. [7]

Vikram Joseph: For a song so evidently catchy and meme-able, "Padam Padam" looks surprisingly threadbare up close. It certainly hints at some of Kylie's most iconic moments, in particular the motorik future-pop of "Can't Get You Out Of My Head," but it doesn't seem to aspire to the same delirium, instead content to be slinky and understated. It has strong production values and a distinct sense of atmosphere, but the line between being minimal and lightweight is a very fine one -- "Padam" is more than serviceable as wallpaper, but as an image in itself is oddly lacking in pleasure. [6]

Will Adams: For the longest time I thought the line in "Can't Get You Out of My Head" went "boy, your love is a song I think about." The concept of the one you're yearning for being like a song endlessly looping in your head just made sense. What made even more sense is said song materializing as mesmerizing Euro-pop with a wordless la-la-la hook. Realizing what the actual lyric was years after the fact didn't diminish my love for it, but I wondered if that essence could ever be captured again. In 2023, I got my answer: "Padam Padam" burst into the world, and with just two-syllables, burrowed into our brains forever. The hallmarks of its predecessor were all there, namely, that hypnotic quality that refuses to leave you, asking a very simple question -- "padam?" -- and boom: you're experiencing love as a song you think about. [9]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: The Kylie Minogue songs I love pull you into her current state of mind. In "Can't Get You Out of My Head," it's the way she convinces you of her infatuation via sustained melodies--"set me free," "stay forever and ever" -- before it fully materializes in the onomatopoeic hook. Here, I'm left to do the heavy lifting, the song all good and fine for bopping around but with none of the release, nothing resembling palpable sensuality. I don't want pop songs or dancefloor crushes to be things I have to think about. And even when I am thinking about this track, I'm left even more disappointed: It lacks the chic sophistication of her artsier '90s works, the spectacular camp of her other Eurovision-y songs, the mesmerizing arrangement of the superior 2023 single "Tension." Worst of all, it doesn't even fail in spectacular fashion. [3]

Jibril Yassin: Easily one of Kylie's best hooks since the last best one. [7]

Katherine St Asaph: I wrote at length elsewhere about the ruthless efficiency of "Padam Padam," and how much knowing Ina Wroldsen wrote the song unlocks it. How many pa-da-dams can I take? Apparently a lot! [8]

Brad Shoup: I like this because it sounds like sex -- unlike "Can't Get You Out of My Head," which sounds like business-class air travel. The synthline warps with anticipation; the pitched-down padams keep things a lil goofy. Lostboy and Wroldsen have so thoroughly written a one-night stand, they've even covered the following days' afterglow. [8]

Jonathan Bradley: Sure, when Kylie goes out, she wants to go out dancing. I've heard her attempt this disco revival any number of times over the past 20 years; it's not clear why this should be the one that hits. Even as far as heartbeat bops go -- the notion that an aortal thump could be a dancefloor beat is not new -- "Padam Padam" is particularly anemic. [4]

Anna Katrina Lockwood: What a breathtakingly perfect pairing of song with performer. Mononymous Australian legend Kylie brings a deftness of hand to the breathy minimalism of "Padam Padam" borne of her decades of experience in her niche. Much like Kylie's indelible "Can't Get You Out of my Head," the meat of "Padam Padam" is a perfectly deployed arpeggiator, building complexity without adding weight. It's both lighter than air and grounded in the physicality of the bassline, precision calibrated for moving your body. The lyrics are a bit goofy, but this is a woman who made an extended phrase of "la la la" ad nauseum into a vocal riff for the ages, so they work just fine. The only thing I dislike is the sub-three-minute runtime of the single edit--the ending feels abrupt, and wrong to my ears. Heck, I could even go for a longer version than the extended four-minute version--god knows Kylie can handle it. [9]

Alfred Soto: To argue that Kylie Minogue has spent thirty-five years (!) distilling her essence to this song's title doggerel would upset no fan. She could try harder, you can also argue: 2020's "Say Something" was my pandemic winter jam. But if she wanted to get my ass shaking she could not have tried less. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: This would've been ignored back in 2010 when it was actually groundbreaking, and millennials are now nostalgic for the Obama administration (which you really shouldn't be). When the dynamic drum programming sparks to life during the first chorus, then slides through the second verse, it gets cut off by the 4/4 kick thumping like a racing heartbeat, then slips back down. That couldn't have happened then, since building to a massive drop was the only idea allowed (until Disclosure came through and crushed the buildings). Maybe it's actually 2013 nostalgia, but 2013 wasn't long enough for nostalgia. [7]

Joshua Lu: When this song first dropped, I was reminded of "Timebomb," a similarly straightforward bop that felt focus-tested to be played on loop at the WeHo Barry's Bootcamp, replete with generic lyrics and an anonymous vocal performance from Kylie. "Padam Padam" is elevated, however, by the dark, gloopy slap house instrumental, making each listen feel like a slow descent into a swirling tangle of velvet and strobe lights. The sound suits Kylie remarkably well. [7]

Dorian Sinclair: I put off listening to this song for ages for the silliest possible reason, which is that I wanted to maintain my delusion that an Edith Piaf cover had inexplicably taken over Gay Twitter. My partners eventually convinced me to listen to the real track though, and while it may not be Piaf, it's a great, slinky dance number. Give me a moody, sinuous melody over a throbby synth beat, and I'll get on the floor -- Kylie claims another victim. [8]

Alex Clifton: I can't actually figure out a way to write an elegant, coherent review for this song because I love it so much, so: THIS SLAPS!!!!!! [9]

Aaron Bergstrom: The "sad banger" (happy music, sad lyrics) is such a time-honored pop staple that it gets NYT coverage. "Padam Padam" is fascinating because it's a rare example of the opposite. The lyrics are boilerplate club-night fantasy, but the undercurrent of darkness running through the track is unmistakeable. It's built on ever-so-slight dissonance, ominous in a way that you ignore at your own peril. Its not quite Kylie's telltale heart, but she's the only one who can tell you how this ends. [7]

Oliver Maier: Classic, clinical Kylie in a contemporary coat of paint. It's easy enough to imagine someone else singing this, it's just hard to imagine liking it as much. [9]

David Moore: This would be the blurb where I'd share my thoughts on "AI vocals," while stubbornly insisting on calling them something less snappy and more cumbersome like machine learning tools instead. But alas, this is not KylieAI (Grimes is trying that; so far it appears not to be a disaster). Just goes to show that you can get all the unsettling, impersonal, not-quite-there-ness of machine learning with a good old-fashioned celebrity work ethic and a joyless but brutally effective chorus that makes you wonder why this singing disembodied head is asking you to take off its "clothes." [7]

Leah Isobel: I was thinking recently about Britney Spears (as I usually am). Specifically, I was thinking about how -- despite the comparisons to Madonna that followed her around for the boom years of her career -- she was much more of a Kylie Min-analogue. Both women center embodied pleasure and the search of it in their work; both favor specific and brilliant deployments of texture and persona over technical vocal skill; neither seemed to ever go out of her way to court critical favor. (Well, Kylie tried it once.) The difference, though, is that where Britney's persona is guileless, Kylie knows. Her work is animated by the gap between the innocence that her songs' lyrics suggest and the omniscient, unearthly confidence that she projects as a vocal presence, a confidence that allows her to literally transcend the limits of the body and sing from the perspective of song itself. Song desires only to transmit itself, to arc across the globe from satellite to satellite, from ear to open ear; this is its purpose, its sole dispensation. From this perspective, all of humanity begins to blur into a shapeless, featureless, consuming mass: when Kylie delivers "You look a little like somebody I know," the gap between "somebody" and "I" renders the lyric as two separate statements. You look like somebody, anybody. I know. In Kylie's hands, song flattens; it is not a possibility space, but a negation space, in which people become interchangeable, sellable images. It is the void at the heart of the world, reaching out to grasp. It hears. It knows. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[byneddiedingo]

Elsa Lanchester and Boris Karloff in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale, 1935)

Cast: Boris Karloff, Colin Clive, Valerie Hobson, Ernest Thesiger, Elsa Lanchester,  Gavin Gordon, Douglas Watson, Una O’Connor, E.E. Clive, Lucien Prival, O.P. Heggie, Dwight Frye. Screenplay: William Hurlbut, John L, Balderston. Cinematography: John J. Mescall. Art direction: Charles D. Hall. Film editing: Ted J. Kent. Music: Franz Waxman. 

Funny, campy, occasionally scary, and featuring over-the-top performances by Ernest Thesiger, Dwight Frye, and Una O'Connor, Bride of Frankenstein may also be the saddest of all horror movies. Much has been made of a perceived subtext of the film, based in part on the knowledge that its director, James Whale, and Thesiger were openly gay, and it's possible to see the plight of the monster (Boris Karloff) as analogous to that of the gays of their time, subject to ridicule and repression from a hostile society. Queer subtext aside, the monster is the ultimate outsider, an anomalous and inarticulate being, whatever his sexuality. He briefly finds companionship in the blind hermit (O.P. Heggie) who begins to teach him to speak -- including the word "friend" -- but their relationship is doomed by the intrusion of the world of ordinary humans, a world he can never be part of. In the end, when the mate (Elsa Lanchester) who has been created for him rejects him, his only recourse is self-destruction. "We belong dead!" the monster proclaims. To see Bride of Frankenstein as some sort of parable about gays in society would then be an endorsement of suicide as the only option. Whale was too much of an artist to turn his film into any kind of message, however latent in the fantastic tale he is telling. Better instead to relish Karloff's ability to give a subtle performance that shows through pounds of makeup. Or Lanchester's remarkable control and timing in bringing the bride to life, including the squawks and hisses that she claimed to have developed by watching swans in the park. Or John J. Mescall's classic black-and-white cinematography, Charles D. Hall's set designs, and Franz Waxman's score. Yes, Colin Clive and Valerie Hobson are a most improbable couple as the Frankensteins. Clive was far gone into alcoholism and looks it, but nobody could have delivered the line "She's alive! Alive!" more memorably.

[shaggsterfr]

Byler songs for edits

Hayloft II - Mother Mother

Wish you were gay - Billie Eilish

Fight or flight - Conan Gray

I love you so - The Walters

My boy - Billie Eilish

Mr Loverman - Ricky Montgomery

She likes another boy - Oscar Lang

I'm so crazy for youuu<3 - Rebzyyx

Choice - Jack Stauber's Micropop

New Americana - Halsey

Meant to be yours - Heathers soundtrack

Are you satisfied? - MARINA

Hermit the frog - MARINA

Blow my brains out - Tikkle Me

Alien blues - Vundabar

Jealousy, jealousy - Olivia Rodrigo

Rat - Penelope Scott

Pacify her - Melanie Martinez

[zedaphofficial]

hey! i post fic here now too!

i come bearing: The Apocalypse AU! brought to you by @mothsaviary and i :)

summary: xb and hypno find themself in the midst of the apocalypse. also they’re fruity and they really don’t know much about each other.

warning ! this is hermitshipping content ! if you aren’t a fan of that, keep scrolling !

they’re sitting around a fire in the skeleton of a building, worn down to unrecognizability and hypno realises just how bad things have gotten— he’s learning things about xb. 

xb is talking about himself. there’s a barely-vacant look in his eyes, like he’s tabbed out but the game is still running; and hypno lingers in the blue of xb’s eyes for just a moment too long. 

hypno wasn't listening. it felt wrong almost— he’s reminiscing. he’s talking about the life he had before this, and hypno couldn’t get himself to listen. 

xb was a shadow of a man. he’s an eye for detail, an eye against a scope of a gun and he’s a door that’s beginning to creak open and hypnos not sure if he wants to step inside.

the sun creeped over the horizon. it painted the grey-blue night in shades of burnt orange and almost-green-yellow and it wasn’t the same as it used to be, green-brown clouds lazily floating across the sky.

Hypno stood up suddenly; kicking up dust behind him as he climbed to the roof of the building. He didn’t look behind him. he doesn’t want to know if xb stopped talking.

but he could hear xb stand up to follow him, almost like a shadow, the too-quiet pad of his sneakers against concrete.

xb stands for a moment longer, watching hypno sit down and tuck his knees tucked to his chest. only then does he approach. he sits down, leans his head against hypno’s shoulder, and they fall into silence.

the radioactive ball of light rises further into the sky, marking yet another day in the corpse of a world they once knew. it’ still jarring. it’s never coming back.

hypno stares at his hands sometimes, studying the creases in the skin and he just barely comprehends that these are the same hands that he’s always had.

and he finds himself looking at his hands again, looking at the barely visible lines in his gloved palms and then back at the greyish-orangish-brown morning sky and then he finds himself looking at xb. 

xb cannot be studied like the lines on hypno’s palms. he doesn’t know who the man beside him is, but he knows the things that keep him up at night and hypno thinks that he’ll never know xb. the man beside him is a book written in code, a language that hypno will never truly decipher.

but they’re stuck with each other, sharing warmth and life and maybe even company. xb closes his eyes and hypno finds himself closing his eyes too, cool air filling his lungs to the bursting point and then escaping in a sigh.

and if he pretended hard enough, he was sitting on the roof of his old house with someone he knew the last name of; and not a decrepit building with a man most comparable to a shadow.

so hypno opened his eyes, head lulling to the side to rest against xb’s.

the rest of their day was uneventful. hypno and xb spent their time ignoring large cities and places overrun, turning to small ghost towns for shelter and resources. it was easier this way, reducing the risk of injuries and saving xb’s ammo for more important situations.

xb pulls his hood up and turns on to his side with his arm as a pillow and hypno wonders. about a lot of things, like the lives of the people who once lived in this shoddy old house or the fact that this is the first time in months he’s laid on a mattress. 

he also wonders about xb.

but he seems to catch himself doing that a lot.

mainly; how is his arm not going so numb right now. but also the fact that the man sleeping next to him is so close but so far away. hypno could reach out and touch xb’s arm, but his hand would never truly make contact, he thinks. something about souls and barriers.

so hypno turns onto his back to stare at the water damaged ceiling. 

they hijacked a car maybe a few days ago, a pickup truck from the nineties that clunked and clanked on occasion but generally worked fine. their first road trip led them to a tiny town that was really nothing more than a couple houses and a grocery store. they explored each house, took what they needed, and then landed on the jackpot of a house with a non-collapsed second floor and a mattress. just one, devoid of blankets or pillows and they joked about the questionable stains on it, but a mattress is a mattress.

and by the time the moon has set and the sun is barely beginning to rise, they’re on the road again. hypno spends his time in the passenger seat fiddling with the radio knob, trying to pick up a station that isn’t static or news. he wanted music, something to fill the silence of travel. eventually he gives up and kicks his feet up onto the dashboard, laughing when xb scolds him for it.