#the funny thing is that I liked the New Avengers that came out of it and the struggle the X-Men faced were thrilling
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strawberrywindow · 2 years ago
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i want to try and start making/getting into animatics but the only idea i currently have for one involves putting it to a song and that's probably not the best thing to START learning with lmfao but go big or go home right, not like i'll be getting to it anytime soon with how goddamn busy i've been and how many other things i want to do first 🤣
#my idea came though because we're onto act 2 of chicago#shows at the end of the month and i'm so excited 🥳#but anyways velma's first song of the act 'i know a girl' is BIG FUCKING Emil to Bruce vibes lmfaoooo#its just so bitter and self pitying and funny and i can very much see emil thinking this way prior to all his self improvement 😂#like the context changes because in the play velma sings it watching roxie on the news after roxie reveals she's (faking) a pregnancy#whereas for this i'd imagine its emil watching bruce on the news from jail too but its bruce getting accepted onto the avengers lol#'now why didnt i think of that? 😒' 😂#i also think that how roxie acts in the song is perfect to show how emil SEES bruce#as someone putting on a show to get out of the exact spot emil's in not the innocent little scientist with a big bad hulk inside him 🙄#you know cause emil be projecting hardcore 🤣#i just think the lyrics fit well and there's a lot of moments that could be tweaked to make them fit the new context while keeping#the wording#like with roxie's whole 'the two of us' thing being bruce/hulk instead of roxie and her 'baby' 😂#this would be the most self indulgent thing i've ever made which is exactly why its a project i would like to work on#when i have more time. its a fun goal to keep in mind even if i'm the only one who finds it funny 😂#i know a girl#a girl who lands on top#you could put her face into a pail of slop#and she'd come up smellin' like a rose#how she does it heaven knows 😒 😂
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ghostofskywalker · 1 month ago
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Tabloid Buzz
Natasha Romanoff/Fem!Reader
Fictober 2024 Day 20 of 31
Words: 1,082
Summary: The rest of the Avengers like to tease Natasha about her (extremely obvious) crush on one of the biggest pop stars of the day. She just lets it happen, because they don't actually know the whole story.
Natasha Romanoff Masterlist
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The sound of a trashy gossip talk show was playing on the TV when Natasha stepped into the communal kitchen, and she just rolled her eyes as she registered the topic of discussion. Of course all her friends’ eyes were going to be on her now, no matter what she did to try and get them to give the topic a rest. 
“Pop sensation Y/N L/N has secured herself the number 1 spot this week once again for her newest album, and all eyes have been on the singer in recent weeks. Despite the outwardly dark album imagery, this album hints at a new presence in her life, as evidenced by songs like “All I Wanted” and “Head In The Clouds.” Fans have been ravenous to know more, and are hoping that the upcoming Grammy awards will be a chance for Y/N to show off the person who’s got her so smitten. Even the title track…”
 Natasha rolled her eyes as she pointedly ignored the television and began to pour herself a cup of coffee. However, Tony  was apparently not going to let this go. “It seems you’ve missed your chance with your celebrity crush Romanoff,” he said, a teasing smile on his face. 
“You do know what a celebrity crush is, right?” she asked, smiling as she watched Steve try not to laugh out of the corner of her eye. “It’s usually someone you never had a chance with in the first place.” 
“For normal people maybe,” Tony responded, taking a sip from the mug in front of him. 
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” Natasha said. “Besides, half the people in this room also have a crush on her.”
The quiet bustle of a busy morning stopped for a moment, and the look on Natasha’s face almost challenged someone to speak up and disagree with her statement. She knew she was right about it though, because between her, Sam, Wanda, and Clint (even thought the latter wouldn’t admit it) there was a startlingly large amount of your merchandise in the compound. The four of them had sat in the living room last year with every set of eyes glued to the TV as you crossed the red carpet at one of the many award shows, in an outfit that had made Natasha drool a little (which thankfully, no one else had noticed). 
“Besides,” Natasha said, not really thinking before she spoke. “How do you know it wasn’t me who inspired this new album?” 
That statement got the desired effect, and the kitchen was suddenly full of laughter, pushing away the silence that had ruled it seconds before. “That’s good!” Tony said, almost spitting out the sip of coffee he had just taken. “Romanoff, sometimes I forget how funny you are.” 
The conversation shifted quickly after Tony’s comment, as different people in the room had to head off off to their meetings and missions for the day, and Natasha just smiled, content in knowing that there was so much that her teammates didn’t know. 
Her phone buzzed right as the last person left the kitchen, and she couldn’t help but smile at the text that lit up her screen, from a contact labeled with your name and the heart emoji in your favorite color. Good morning love, it read. Are we still on for date night later? 
Of course, Natasha texted back. I’ll pick you up at 8 <3
***
She had been doing well, hiding her budding relationship with you from the rest of her teammates, but her inevitable downfall came when she decided to sneak you into the compound one day when everyone else was away. In her defense, the various assignments, missions, meetings, and conventions that the rest of her team were on had a return date two days in the future, and these things never ended on time. She supposed it was just her luck that this time things would be different. 
The two of you had fallen asleep on the couch, with the various half-eaten snacks you had enjoyed left on the coffee table (it was fine, they were tomorrow’s problem). When Natasha opened her eyes, she could see the clock across the room read 2 AM, and your head was resting on her shoulder. The simple sweats you were wearing were completely different than the glittering ensembles you wore on stage and at events, but you looked just as beautiful now as you did when she first saw you. 
Her plan to fall back asleep was interrupted by the sound of the living room door opening, and Natasha’s eyes widened as she realized that someone must have come back early. There was no time to sneak you into her room, and she doubted that whoever had just walked in would simply not look in her direction, as the TV was still playing in the background. 
Natasha turned her head right as Steve stepped into view, and immediately he raised his eyebrows at her. She wasn’t sure if he realized who was currently snoozing on the couch next to her, but she was not about to ask that question. 
The look on her face was something between a plea for him to keep quiet and embarrassment that this even happened in the first place, but she trusted Steve. No words were exchanged in the moment, but an agreement was still made. 
She could hear him in the kitchen filling up a glass of water, and her phone buzzed with a text. No one else is supposed to be back until tomorrow afternoon, it read. If you need any help sneaking her out, let me know. 
Natasha breathed a sigh of relief, sending a thank you text in response, along with a promise to let him know if she needed him to run interference. Yes, she would have to tell everyone about this eventually, but she wanted a little more time to bask in the glow of her new relationship, and maybe even shock them by accompanying you to an event or awards show (since they seemed so dead set on teasing her about her feelings). 
Her phone buzzed once more, and this time the text contained a link to one of the music videos from your newest album, titled “Only For You.” I guess we know who her muse is now, The message read. Natasha playfully rolled her eyes, but didn’t really bite back. She probably would have done the same thing for him anyway. 
- the end -
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queen-of-the-avengers · 3 months ago
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Slippery Rendezvous
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.5k
Warnings: none
Summary: Natasha doesn’t approve of your feelings for Bucky despite your many attempts to convince her that he is the man for you. What else can you do when she forbids you to date any of her friends?
Squares Filled: natasha romanoff / black widow (2021) for @buckybarnesbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3
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You wake up to an empty bed. What did you expect? That he’d stay? Bucky isn’t known to spend the night after fucking you but you keep wishing he would. You run your hand down his side of the bed and feel the cool sheets. He must have left early in the morning so that your sister wouldn’t see him.
It’s not like she hates him but she hates the idea of you being with any one of her “coworkers”. Natasha isn’t shy when it comes to relationships and often encourages you to go out and have fun with different men. She loves dating even if she doesn’t show it, and you love telling her about all the dates you get to go on. The issue is that she doesn’t want you dating anyone she knows. She knows the baggage that comes with the men she knows and doesn’t want you mixed up with it.
You went to University to get a degree as a voice actor. You’ve gotten gigs across the country but ultimately settled in New York where you got a job working on a popular animated television series. You’re already in your third season and have no plans of stopping anytime soon. Natasha loves to tell you how normal you are and how different you are compared to the shit she goes through every day.
You’re not a spy and you have no desire to be a spy. You’re not Natasha’s biological sister because you came into her life well after she got done with the Red Room training. She was on a mission to kill your father for all the bad shit he has been doing. You hated the man and had always wanted to leave. However, your mother died at birth and you were a minor at the time. He always hid his shady shit which is why he didn’t get convicted for anything.
She saved you and she adopted you a couple of years later. You don’t blame her for your father’s death even if she did pull the trigger. He’s a bad man who is rotting in Hell and you’re better off for it. Now, you have a successful job and are in love with the infamous Winter Soldier. Only he doesn’t know it and if he does, he doesn’t do anything about it.
You two met when Natasha was having a party at the Avengers Compound. She didn’t want you to go but you insisted that with her by your side, you’ll be fine. It’s not like the Avengers are going to pick a fight with you or anything. Even Bruce had his alter ego under control, so she relented and let you come.
Her world is and was much different than yours. She told stories of how she went to space, how she kicked someone’s ass, and how she infiltrated an organization. All you have to show for is the work you’ve done for entertainment. You’re not nearly as special as any of them but Bucky makes you feel like you are.
He kept to himself in the corner of the room drinking something that wasn’t alcohol when you approached him.
“Hi. Do you mind if I join you?”
“No, go ahead,” he clears his throat.
“I’m Y/N. I’m Natasha’s sister. Adopted sister, actually, but she feels like a real one to me. What’s your name?”
“You seriously don’t know who I am?” he chuckles.
“I know who you are but I’d thought I’d be polite and let you introduce yourself instead of assuming I know everything about you.”
“Right,” he nods. “I’m Bucky.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Bucky.”
You two fell into conversation that lasted well past the party. Natasha had a secret thing for Steve and didn’t mind staying over as long as you were safe and okay with staying. You left that night with thoughts of Bucky and when the next time you were going to see him, but Natasha didn’t share your enthusiasm.
“Listen, I don’t want to tell you what to do but I don’t want you seeing Bucky.”
“Funny. That sounds exactly like you telling me what to do,” you scoff.
“I mean it, Y/N. Bucky is a good guy now but he wasn’t always like this. He’s not all the way back yet and I don’t want you getting hurt. With any of them. They have too much baggage and you don’t need something like that in your life.”
You look out the window in annoyance.
“I just spent the last two hours talking to a guy who made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. I’m not saying I want to marry the guy but I felt something that I haven’t felt with any of the guys I’ve dated.”
“I knew bringing you to that party was a bad idea,” she scoffs. “You’re not seeing Bucky. End of story.”
“I am an adult, Nat. Let me make my own decisions. Let me decide if he’s worth the heartbreak.”
“He will do more than break your heart. He will break you. He didn’t get his name for nothing. His body count is well into the hundreds if not thousands. I am not worried about him breaking your heart. I’m worried about him killing you. I mean it, Y/N. Stay away from that one.”
You tried, God knows you tried, but there is something about Bucky that you couldn’t stay away from. You formed friendships with Wanda and Thor which gave you an excuse of going to the compound where you knew Bucky was living. Wanda caught on pretty quickly at what you were trying to do since she can read minds and all that, and she agreed to keep your affair with Bucky from your sister.
You’re not trying to hurt Natasha but you fell for Bucky and fell for him hard. He just never stays the night like you hope he does.
You get out of bed and walk to the bathroom where you hear the shower going. Natasha must be in there. You slip in and knock on the door to let her know that you’re inside the bathroom with her.
“Hey, Nat, I’m just going to brush my teeth. I’ll be out shortly.”
You slip in, close the door behind you, and walk over to the sink.
“I’m not Nat.”
You tense when you hear Bucky’s deep voice but then smile when you realize he slept the night in your bed. The curtain slides to the side just enough for him to peek his head out of it, and you turn to face him.
“I thought you left last night.”
“Nope. I wanted to stay the night with you. Is that okay?”
“It’s more than okay.”
He closes the curtain again and resumes cleaning himself.
“Got any plans today?”
You’re about to answer when you hear the front door slam open and shut. Natasha is the only one who has a key so she must be back. If she found out Bucky has not only been dating you but secretly fucking you, she’d have a heart attack and probably kill him.
“Y/N? Are you in there?” The bathroom door shakes and you do the first thing that comes to mind. You quickly hop in the shower, fully clothed, and look at Bucky who smirks. The door opens and Nat walks in. “Y/N?”
“I’m in the shower!” Bucky’s mouth opens so you place your hand over it so he understands he needs to be quiet. “What do you want?”
“Listen, Steve and some of the guys are having a cookout at Clint’s farm. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”
“Really? You’ll let me go?”
“I feel bad and I shouldn’t keep you away from your friends.”
“Is Bucky going to be there?”
Bucky nods and looks at you with mischievous eyes.
“Yeah.”
“Then I’ll go.”
“I invited you because Wanda and Thor will be there. They’re your friends.”
“I know.”
“Y/N…”
“It’s fine, Nat. I’ll hang with them.”
“Okay. We leave in an hour.”
She leaves the bathroom and you remove your hand from Bucky’s mouth knowing you didn’t need it to be there. He knows Natasha’s opinion of him and how she wouldn’t approve of you two dating. He just wanted to feel your hands on him if he’s being honest.
“Great, now I’m all wet. Look what you did.”
“I like it when you’re wet,” he smirks.
You shove his shoulder and scoff playfully but he grabs you and pulls you into him. He slides his hands into your hair and kisses you. He must forget the situation you’re in because you can feel his growing arousal on your stomach.
“No, Bucky, we should stop. I will not be tempted into shower sex again. Remember what happened last time?”
“Damn, my arm malfunctions one time and you’re triggered.”
“Can I trust you to keep your hands to yourself at this cookout?”
“No,” he chuckles. “It’s gonna be hard not to. Now I’m picturing you wet.”
“Hurry up and leave before she finds you in here. I’d rather not know what a fight between Black Widow and the Winter Soldier looks like.”
You slip out of the shower and back to your room without your sister noticing. While you’d like your relationship to be out in the open, sneaking around is just too much damn fun.
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pretty-little-mind33 · 5 months ago
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Pietro Maximoff x stark!fem!reader
Summary: You've always hated Pietro for his player tendencies—turns out he's never hated you at all.
Genre: Fluff, hurt and comfort (enemies to lovers)
Warnings: implied fuck-boy!Pietro, reader is Tony Stark's daughter (no physical description), reader hates Pietro in the beginning, mentions of blood and gun wounds, swearing, because Sokovia isn't real- I used Czech as Pietro and Wanda's language (i don't speak Czech so i used translating sites…if it's wrong, pls tell me)
~ thank you to the anon who requested this! this is my very first time writing for Pietro, please tell me what you think! ~
PIETRO MAXIMOFF MASTERLIST
Your father has always been overprotective of you. 
He usually doesn't involve you with his affairs when you're with him and not at Mom's, choosing to have your room as far from any Avengers as he possibly could. At sixteen, you didn't like this—you felt like you deserved to live normally in your own home—so when he asked you to become friends with his newest members, Twins from Sokovia who also happened to be sixteen, and make them feel welcomed, you were more than happy to do so.
You liked Wanda Maximoff from the first moment you met her. She seemed quiet and shy in the beginning, but she also has this fiery side to her that you admire. She never took shit from anyone, including her brother. 
Pietro Maximoff was very different from his sister. You remember standing in your room, your dad by your side, with an unamused Wanda in front of you as a blue blur sparked across the room, occasionally skidding to a stop and knocking over some books or picking up some trinkets and making unnecessarily judgmental and overly excited comments.  
"Pietro," Wanda hissed, "Přestaň (Stop it)."
His sister's warning had only made his grin widen, his silver hair falling over his strikingly blue eyes as he returned next to her, his arms crossed. "Promiňte (Sorry)." You didn't know what he'd said, but it didn't sound like he meant it. 
"Wanda," he pointed to his sister as he introduced her, and then his grin turned into a smile. "Pietro," he said, pointing to himself, and then he outstretched his hand with no awkwardness or hesitation. You looked down and then up at him again, turning to your dad with an unsure expression but when he nodded, you shook Pietro's hand.
"Y/n," you whispered with a smile, and as you shook his hand, what could have been the start of a wonderful friendship, should have started that day. 
Should have.
In the beginning, it was childish teasing—which involved stealing things from your room and hiding them around the tower because it made Pietro laugh, running past you in the halls so quickly you'd almost fall over, or jokingly ruining any chances with any boys at school because he'd stick his nose in business that never involved him. 
Most of the team and your dad found your banter funny—encouraging the same boys will be boys' bullshit that meant that as the years passed, your dislike for Pietro only worsened. 
It especially didn't help when, by seventeen, he'd found out he was pleasant enough to look at and that girls seemed to adore his boyish charm. So, any chance he had, he'd either heavily flirt with girls at school, or find excuses during missions to pick up any pretty girl he came across. 
Of course, this behavior only increased in his twenties and made him all the more annoying—especially since you began working the coms and the computer for when the team was out on missions. Ever since Ultron, your dad now trusted you more than a robot. 
You're curled up in your chair, your headphones on as you watch the multiple screens in front of you. Some have news outlets playing out the scene while others have the biometrics of Iron Man's suit and the others' suits to make sure all is well. You also have every member in your ear as your fingers glide over the keyboard.
"Dad?" you switch the coms and touch the microphone. 
"Yes, Y/n?" Tony Stark's voice echoes in your headphones and you smile. 
"I can try and hack into the network of that bastard's suit if you want?" 
"Actually, Y/n, can you locate Quicksilver for me? He was supposed to evacuate all the civilians but I can't reach him anymore. Could you try? He always answers you,"
Great, Pietro duty—again.
"Can't I do something more useful?"
Tony chuckles, making you glance at one of your computer screens where you can see him hovering in the air, protecting the civilians on the ground from some shit-bag escaped prisoners who had taken over some secret government-type weaponry and causing all kinds of havoc.
Steve and Natasha seem to be handling the situation with some tact, while Wanda looks like she's having fun crunching the weapons in the men's hands with her mind. All in all, the team seems like they're handling things just fine without Pietro around. 
"Quicksilver is useful to me, darling. I know he's not your favorite person right now, Y/n, but he's a valuable member of my team and I need you to find him for me."
You huff. "He was never my favorite person," you whisper roll your chair over to another keyboard, and disconnect Tony from your headphones. You bite your cheek and hit enter. "Pietro? Hello?"
No answer. 
You change the signal. 
"Wanda?"
"Hello!" Wanda answers and you hear some commotion in the background. 
"Where's your brother?" you ask, "he isn't answering me."
"I don't know," Wanda says and after a moment she adds, "I can feel him though."
"Thanks," you say, although she'd been completely unhelpful. All you'd learned was that Pietro was definitely alive—which wasn't really a concern of yours since you hadn't assumed something happened to him. You just assumed he was missing.
"Y/n?" 
You hear him in your headphones and you quickly change the channel again, pressing your lips closer to your microphone. "Pietro," you say.
"Yeah?" Pietro sounds like he's running, "What's up, Princezna (Princess)?"
"Don't call me that," you say, knowing damn well he'll call you that anyway. He always has. "Tony wants you. Where have you been?"
Pietro laughs. "I got a little distracted, Moje srdce (My heart)." You hear what sounds like another pet name—he calls you that from time to time you just refuse to ask him what it means.
You want to ask him what he means by distracted, but you assume it has something to do with him getting some girl's number so you don't want to know anymore. "I'm on my way back now so no need to worry your pretty head about me."
"I wasn't worried about you," you say instantly, "I was ordered to find you. Very different."
"Sure, Princezna, sure," Pietro says, his voice husky as he stops and takes a breath. "When are you going to fess up and admit you like me, hm? This cat-and-mouse game has been fun and all, but c'mon, what will it take for you to understand? Tady mě zab��jíš (You are killing me here)."
"Understand what?" 
"Understand that I–" Just as he speaks, you hear more familiar voices and shouting in the background and you look to one of the screens from a news outlet where you can see that Pietro is back with the team, only he's not running anymore. No, he looks like he's swaying. You stand to look closer at the screen. 
"Pietro?" you call into the mic, trying to understand what happened until you see him fall to the ground, clutching his side as his blue suit stains red. He must have stopped running for a moment and one of the fucking assholes dressed in machinery must have shot him. You panic and run to an opposite computer and change the channel one last time. 
"Wanda?" you whisper, your voice hoarse and shaky as you look back at the screen and see that Clint has found Pietro, and Wanda is running up to them too. "W-Wanda?" you try once more, watching her on-screen as she tends to her brother and ignores you.
You feel completely powerless.
* * *
When everyone comes home, you feel stupid as you greet them. Most of the Avengers send you sympathetic smiles as Tony walks up to you. Clint, Wanda, and Pietro aren't with them. You look up at your dad, feeling embarrassed that you're worried for someone you claim to hate.
Tony's expression softens as he hugs you stoically, he's not much for this type of affection but he can see you need this as you bury your nose into his shoulder. 
"He's being checked now but nothing serious," your dad sounds calm, "he's fine, darling."
You pull away, forcing a look of nonchalance as you. "I- I know that I- I didn't care either way," you lie shamelessly.  
Tony shakes his head, sounding exhausted when he says, "You're so stubborn, just like your mom." He ruffles your hair and kisses your forehead. "You can see him in a bit, I'm sure. I'll tell Wanda to come find you when he can have visitors."
You nod and spend the next few hours pacing your room, nibbling at the skin around your nails until you taste blood and finally, someone walks into your room—only it isn't Wanda. It's Pietro himself. He's wearing a slightly wrinkled tank top and a pair of slacks hung loosely around his hips. It's almost sinful. He grins cockily and runs a hand in his hair, his shirt riding up to expose his stomach. You stare at him, wide-eyed and your hand drops from your mouth. 
"What are you doing out of bed?!" you say, sounding more worried than you'd intended.
"What are you? My máma?" Pietro laughs and leans against the edge of your vanity. "I heal quick," he shrugs and looks around your room. He hadn't been in here in a while. He smirks. "Still sleep with Teddy, hm?" he hums. 
You feel warmth in your cheeks and you send your poor beaten-up-with-love Teddy-Bear a glare as if it was his fault you still slept with him in your arms at twenty-four. "Ha ha, funny," you mumble and move to stand in front of Pietro so he can't make fun of any more of your belongings. "No– I don't. Can you leave now?"
Pietro crosses his arms and tilts his head, his blue eyes piercing into yours. "Stark said you wanted to see me." 
Of course, he did. 
You narrow your eyes. "Well, I have seen you and I see you're fine so now I've changed my mind," you say with a shrug and point to your door, waiting for him to make the decision and leave. 
"You don't even wanna ask why I was distracted out there?" Pietro says and a smirk curls his lips.
"No–"
You feel the wind in your hair and in a blink, he's standing much closer to you with a slight pant—as if he'd just run—and he's holding a small bent bouquet of roses in his hands. He holds them out for you and you stare at them in disbelief. 
"What are those?"
"Roses."
You glare at him. "I know that but why?"
"I saw them and thought of you," he says so nonchalantly you almost don't believe him.
"What? When?"    
"When I was helping the civilians," Pietro shrugs and his eyes are intense. He pauses after a moment and raises his hand, his knuckles skimming your cheek. You freeze, warmth spreading all over your cheeks as you panic internally. "Saw them in the park and I wanted to get them for you."
Your eyes widen. "Isn't that illegal?"
Pietro smirks. "Not if it's done in the name of love, Princezna."
"I don't think that's how that works—" Realization dawns on you and you feel like you're spinning. "Wait, wait, what did you just say?" 
Pietro laughs and his hand moves to tuck some hair behind your ear, smiling. Maybe he's excited but you can feel his skin vibrate on yours. Your heart is pounding so heavily and your mind is screaming at you that this is all a trick and this is what he does with girls. He throws around the l-word and expects women to fall at his feet. He's a player.
"What I was trying to tell you before I was rudely shot, is why haven't you caught on and understood that I'm madly in love with you?"
What?!
You blink at him and then take a step away from him, shaking your head as you force a laugh. "Pietro, this isn't funny. It isn't funny to mess with me like this. You know how I feel about you playing with my feelings—"
Pietro frowns. "Playing with you?" 
You roll your eyes. "Please, it's just not funny, okay?"
"You think this is a joke, mé srdce (my heart)? Ach, můj drahý (Oh, my dear)," Pietro says in a whisper and moves closer to you again, his hand reaching for yours as he hands you the roses.
"I'm not messing with you. I tease you sometimes, but my feelings are real. I haven't messed around with any women in years—minus that mistletoe kiss—" he rubs his nape, mentioning the time you'd caught him and an office girl kissing at last Christmas party. He didn't mean for that to happen, and even less for you to see him. 
You're really trying to understand him now but nothing is making sense. "You have feelings for me?" You whisper, your eyes wide. You feel like you've entered some alternative reality. "You can't just say things like that now, Pietro. It's not fair."
His expression turns more serious than you've ever seen him. "I'm not saying this lightly, Y/n. I know I've been a jerk to you, but I was a stupid kid who didn't know how to express his feelings and then it was too late because you hated me. But, I have always cared for you, miláček (darling). I really have."
You move back, your eyes round, processing his words. All those years of childish teasing, all those petty arguments you'd had, and all the jealousy you've felt suddenly hit you like a train and you're left broken and bruised. He had feelings for you? You've been pushing him away because you were scared of how you felt about him.
"Why now? Why did you choose to tell me all this now?" you ask, shaking the roses in your hands as your voice trembles.
Pietro exhales. "Because when Wanda mentioned me how worried you were about me, I realized how much I need you in my life. Need you beside me. I didn't want to hide my feelings anymore— and I picked those flowers wanting to confess anyway. I want to be with you, Y/n. No more games, just us."
You feel a mix of relief and fear. Deep down, you've wanted to hear this for so long, but it's as terrifying as you'd imagined. You look up at him, walking in closer and you can hear your heart in your throat when you run a hand in his silver hair, holding him and pulling him down to meet his lips.
You've convinced yourself this would be confirmation. Confirmation that this was a bad fucking idea. Instead, his kiss is intoxicating and it makes your mind go all fuzzy. Of course, he'd be good at this, he'd been quite the whore—your thought is interrupted by Pietro pulling you in closer and deepening the kiss, his hand finding your hip. 
You gasp, leaning up into him as the world as you'd known it crashes around you. 
"Sakra, Princezna (Damn, Princess)," Pietro murmurs into your lips, holding you close. "This is so much better than I imagined."
"You imagined this?" you say, sounding more teasing than you'd anticipated as you're left breathless from his kisses. 
Pietro hums. "All the damn time," he admits and kisses you again.
After more kisses, he finally pulls away. "So, is that a yes? You want be with me too?" he asks hopefully and you look into his eyes, taking in his excitement. You don't dare even think of breaking his heart as anyway, your swells at the mere thought of being his. 
You nod but then smirk and pull him back in for a kiss, your hand fisting his shirt, "Kiss me some more and then I'll tell you."
And he does just that.
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silhouetteonpaper · 3 months ago
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You’ve Changed
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Summary: You’ve been hiding out for ages, living your own life now that you’ve chosen to be a solo-act agent. When someone from your past happens to appear at your door--this time with something on her mind--how will you react? Natasha Romanoff x Reader WC: 1,497 Warnings: None
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“You’ve changed so much since the last time I saw you.” A voice fills the kitchen, leaving you startled as you turn to face the redhead standing in the open door frame. Her green eyes trail up and down your entirety for a moment as she takes in your appearance. You know you look quite different from the last time she saw you, over a year having passed since you left the compound.
“How’d you find me?” You ask with a slight coldness, turning back to the sink to finish putting stray dishes away. In reality, you don’t care how she found her way here, but a part of you is curious why Natasha’s standing in your apartment thousands of miles away from her own home.
“I told you I’d always keep an eye on you.” Natasha answers, stepping into the kitchen to eye all the things you have sprawled on the dining table. You peek over your shoulder to see her thumbing through the various papers. Maps, charts, diagrams, and clues sit covering at least half of the table, your next project in full fruition.
“Something caught your eye?” You question, crossing your arms as you lean against the counter. She’s certainly making herself at home. You don’t feel obligated to explain your use of all these documents, but something has her intrigued by them.
“Actually, that’s why I’m here. It seems we need your help with a mission, and you’re already two steps ahead.” She tells you, finally looking up to wait for a response. You say nothing at first, eyebrows raising for just a second as you feel a sense of surprise wash over you. It’s no secret that you left the compound to be on your own, when you felt like it was the best option for everyone since you don’t work well on a team.
What everyone doesn’t know is that you’ve continued your work as an agent, employed by whoever needs their dirty work done across the globe. You aren’t going to deny your capabilities as a top agent, you just couldn’t stay at the compound where you felt like a distraction more than a hero. Unfortunately your temper would get in the way more often than not, the constant bickering between you and your teammates jeopardizing missions.
“You came all this way just to see what information I have on a little mission?” You huff, leaning over the table to gather the documents. You stack them neatly and place them out of sight on a nearby bookshelf. You’ve been researching a specific target for months now, why would you share all your collected evidence this far along?
“We don’t just want the intel you have on this mission, we want you to join it.” She says plainly, her eyes refusing to leave you. You sigh, rubbing your forehead with your hand in contemplation. The last thing you expected was Natasha asking for help, let alone her showing up on your doorstep.
“After all this time, I never thought I’d see you crawling back for my help.” You admit, giving her a small smirk. She returns it, shrugging slightly as she speaks. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to offer your hand for this mission, you already have so much intel on it and could be of use. But what would that mean for you and Nat working together again?
“Life has a funny way of bringing people back together, doesn’t it?” Natasha expresses, earning a chuckle from you. You shake your head in disbelief, taking in the redhead standing in the room that was empty just a moment ago.
“When do we start?”
You show Natasha around the hideaway apartment you’ve rented for just over a year now since leaving New York. It stands in the center of Austria, hidden from any enemy eyes that could possibly be spying on a young agent. It was supposed to be hidden from the eyes of everyone, but it seems the Avengers once again proved their ability to locate anything and anyone.
“Is that blood?” Natasha asks, motioning to a worn floorboard with a mysterious stain.
“No?” You answer with hesitance, quick to move on to the next part of the apartment. It seems too soon to explain your continuation in crime fighting after moving to Austria. You know Natasha wouldn’t approve of your lifestyle, let alone the Avengers. They were always so protective over you, yet another reason why you needed to leave.
She doesn’t say anything, stepping cautiously over the floorboard as you move into the living room and conclude the tour.
Natasha informed you of the plan; tomorrow, you move to a safe house off the border of Romania where you’ll infiltrate a HYDRA base just a few miles out. You’re surprised at the trust held in your ability to infiltrate an enemy base, considering Natasha thinks the last time you engaged in any form of combat was at the compound.
While you both wait for the sun to set and the night to turn into morning, the two of you sit in the living room, silence echoing as the unfamiliarity of each other fills the room. You don’t know if Natasha feels betrayed, hurt, or even scared from your disappearance. You know how much she cares about you, or how much she used to anyway. Is there any bit of that caring nature left? Or was it demolished when you ran away from the one place you thought of as home?
“You promised you’d be safe when you left.” Natasha suddenly spoke, breaking the silent tension strung between you. Your head pops up, eyes moving from the window to her. What is she implying? What does she know?
“You promised you’d let me make my own decisions.” You remark, your gaze finding the window again. You aren’t going to give her the satisfaction of eye contact if she’s going to play this game.
“I don’t want you running around the world, fighting dangerous people you can’t handle on your own.” She jabs, her knowledge of your life here revealing itself. She knows you’re still an agent. Your eyes narrow, turning to face her completely. Your heart rate increases, unaware that she’d still think you aren’t capable of this lifestyle.
“I can fend for myself, thanks. If you have such a big problem with me making a living, you can leave. Figure out the mission yourself.” You stand up in a rush, preparing to get some space from the woman you barely recognize. It seems she doesn’t even recognize you either, unwilling to accept your true state as an adult now.
You freeze at the words that fall from her lips next. “You’re not the person I thought you were.” She says softly. Is that supposed to be some sort of apology?
“That’s what happens when people grow up. They change. They find aspirations, goals. They live their lives.” You voice, slowly turning back to face her. You feel the silence creep over the room as she pauses a moment to think.
“What I mean is, you’re more mature. You’ve grown, in more ways than one.” She laughs. “I wanted you to join me on this mission because I know you can handle it. I thought I was doing the right thing, coming here after all that time even though you wanted space, but…” Natasha trailed off, thinking over her decision asking you to join her. She was beginning to regret bothering you, and slowly understood you are an adult now who can decide things for yourself. You’re not the young, reckless teenager you used to be.
At the end of the day, regardless if you’re at the compound or moved out, living your own life, Natasha is like an older sister. She was there when you were rescued from HYDRA, she was there when you were a scared little girl. She was there when you decided you wanted change, when you didn’t want to be a superhero like the rest of them.
But today, she’s here. Although unsure if the girl before her is still the same exact young shadow that once roamed the halls of the compound following closely in her stead, or if she’s truly an adult that doesn’t need anyone anymore. You don’t know how much of either is true.
“Natasha…” You finally responded, turning to face her. “You’re the only one who knows me, the real me. Maybe even better than I do. I never thought I’d admit that, but it’s true. I wasn’t expecting you to show up here, but a part of me is glad you did. I missed you.” You admit, offering a small heartfelt smile. She easily returns it, her hand finding yours to hold.
That’s when Natasha takes a deep breath, and it’s easy to see the gears turning in her mind. “So, about that mission…?”
You laugh, finally nodding in agreement. “Let’s do it. Together, just like old times.”
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sashaisready · 16 days ago
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Since You've Been Gone: Chapter 1
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Series Masterlist
After a regrettable first meeting in the cemetery, you discover that you have something in common with a certain member of the Avengers. Unfortunately, you can't choose your neighbours, even in death.
(Setting is approx. post TFATWS)
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Hi, I'm back! I have no idea where this came from, or where it's going! So apologies as updates may not be consistent while I figure it out. Warnings for death of parents, grief, mentions of cemetery/graves - please tread carefully if these are triggers for you.
🍂
It was a chilly Autumn day, but not unbearable. Your coat could more than handle the frigid breeze. You squinted at the headstone as you crouched on your knees, angling your head to make sure you hadn’t left any streaks or marks from the polish. Satisfied with your performance, you trimmed a few of the roses that were leaning against it before standing and taking a step back to admire your handiwork.
Immaculate as always, so neat you could almost be fooled into thinking you weren’t even outside. You could hear your parents’ voices in your head now, joking about being able to keep their graves far cleaner that you ever managed your bedroom to be, their frequent nags falling on deaf adolescent ears.
You smiled sadly as you looked at the intricately engraved text below their names on the shared stone:
Beloved parents taken too soon,
Waiting in heaven to be reunited with their only daughter
You’d never really like that phrasing; it was a little too whimsical for your tastes – especially all these years later. But a recently orphaned teenager wasn’t exactly an expert in choosing the best headstone wording. You’d been more than happy to let your aunt and the funeral home lead the way, too paralysed by grief to make even the smallest decisions in the hellscape that was death admin.
Still, you’d never want to upset your aunt by getting it changed, there’s a lot of strange emotion tied up in grief even when time has passed, and that mourning teen has become an adult. And it wasn’t like new headstones were cheap anyway…
As you packed up your cleaning kit your attention was drawn to the two graves next to your parents’ - George and Winnifred Barnes. They had both passed several decades earlier, long before your parents were buried next to them. They had died only a few months apart according to the text…maybe they’d couldn’t survive without each other.
It was easy to infer that they no longer had anyone left earthside. The graves had been long untouched, unkempt, and overgrown, the inscriptions getting harder to read – and you’d never seen any evidence of a visitor in all your time coming here. Except of course when the cemetery staff did one of their occasional mass clean-ups of the neglected graves.
About a year ago, you’d started tending to them alongside your parents. You weren’t sure why, it just seemed like the right thing to do. They were neighbours after all. And you’d want someone to do the same for your mum and dad if you weren’t around.
You’d cleaned their stones, wiped away the grime and given them a decent polish. You’d trimmed back the weeds and laid fresh flowers. The first time took a while, but after you’d got them to a reasonable standard it was all pretty easy to maintain.
You’d often wondered who they were. What they were like. The dates suggested they’d died of old age, a luxury your parents didn’t have. Were they kind? Funny? What hobbies did they have? They were around during the war, that must’ve been tough. You knew from the inscriptions that they had children who would’ve been over hundred by now. Maybe no grandchildren which is why nobody came by to see them anymore. It made you feel sad, how we could all be just a few generations away from being forgotten entirely. At least you could try to remember them.
You gave their graves a quick once over, took away the dead flowers and added some fresh roses in their place.
“Well, I’m done,” you said aloud, “see you soon, mum and dad. And you too, George and Winnifred. Sleep well”.
You sighed, walking back to your car and back to your life. You knew all too well that the dead may be still, but the world continues around them.
🍂
A week later you were back at the cemetery with your cleaning kit slung over your back, your arms full of fresh flowers.
“Afternoon, mum and dad,” you said as you placed your kit and flowers down and pulled out the foam pad that you used to kneel on, “and you, George and Winnifred”.
“Work has been kicking my ass this week,” you sighed as you got to work on your parents’ stone. “There’s only so much I can take of Brock’s moaning about the numbers…it’s getting harder not to smash my keyboard over his head – yeah I know, violence isn’t the answer, blah-blah-blah…”
You worked diligently, chatting away as you went through your maintenance tasks. It was nice, talking to them like this. You could say anything, really. No judgements, no admonishment, just silent acceptance of everything you told them. It was a bit like therapy for you. You often imagined your parents were sitting behind you as you spoke, just out of sight.
You liked to use old newspaper to buff up the marble. As you gathered your things together, you glanced at some of the headlines from the copy you’d brought with you. Lots of dreary grimness unfortunately. There was also a longread feature on the Avengers and where they were now, their photographs lined up across the top of the page. It was sad that a few of them were dead now, or at least no longer here. You felt a pang of sadness for their loved ones – you knew what that was like.
You didn’t know all the details of The Avengers and their associates, but like everyone else you knew the basics. It was a strange time, just a decade or so ago nobody had ever thought superheroes really existed…but then all of these ‘enhanced’ people started crawling out of the woodwork, revealing weapons and technology that previously had only existed in sci-fi movies. It was hard to believe, really.
You scanned the newspaper page, looking at the pictures for a few moments. You took your time studying their faces before sighing and placing it back down.
“All done…now let’s help out George and Winnie over here, looks like you guys need some new flowers…and all that heavy rain we’ve been having has really done a number on your stones…let me just-”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” the gruff voice behind you demanded, causing you such a shock that you nearly joined your parents.
You spun your body away from the graves, horrified to see a man looming over you as you stared at him open-mouthed in surprise. You hadn’t heard him approach, not quite understanding how you hadn’t noticed him coming at all…
“I said what the hell do you think you’re doing?” he repeated to you, his blue eyes alight with anger.
He was big. Bigger than you. Even under his coat you could see his broad shoulders. A mop of dark hair framed his face, most likely quite an attractive face when it wasn’t pulled into a furious sneer like it was now. He wore black gloves as he pointed at you accusingly. The fact that you were kneeling on the ground while he stood towering at his full height had not gone unnoticed by you.
There was something strangely familiar about him, but you couldn’t place it. Did he shop at the same market as you? You couldn’t quite…
“I’m…I’m just-” you spluttered as you fumbled for the words, still caught in your surprise and the fact that this normally serene time had been interrupted by a stranger yelling at you…
“Get away from there!” he snarled.
You quickly realised he was talking about the Barnes’ graves. You bounced backwards, landing painfully on your ass in your desperation to do what he said. He had a chilling air of authority that you didn’t want to screw with. You weren’t trying to piss off an angry man while you were out here all alone…
“I was just tidying them up,” you managed weakly as you sat up and clutched at the flowers.
“Nobody asked you to,” he scoffed in response as he leaned over and ran a gloved finger over Winnifred’s inscription, “you shouldn’t be clambering all over graves of people you don’t know”.
You frowned as the initial shock of the encounter wore off, now annoyed now at his abrupt rudeness towards you when you only had good intentions.
“Oh, and you know them, do you?” you snapped back sharply as your felt your emotions surge and your eyes water, your cheeks hot with mortification, “well, nobody has been to visit those graves in years so-”
“Yeah, actually I do know them - I’m their son,” he spat furiously.
Your head bounced back in surprise and confusion. You curled your lip and frowned at his strange claim, he appeared to be his mid-to-late 30s at most – many years away from the very elderly man he’d need to be for that to be true.
What was his goal here, exactly?
Was this guy just looking to start an argument and decided you’d be his target? Spouting off nonsense about random graves just to mess with you?
And where did you know him from?
Despite your survival instincts, you couldn’t help but fight back. You didn’t appreciate being messed with at the best of times, let alone when you were only here to visit your deceased loved ones. Who came to a graveyard to fuck with people? And yell at them?!
“Huh? Son?” you scoffed with derision and jabbed a finger towards the inscriptions about their children, “well, that can’t be true as that would mean their kids would have to be over a hundred…and how many one-hundred-year-olds look like you…?”
“I’m 107 years old, actually,” he said venomously. He sounded utterly sincere despite the ludicrousness of his claim. His face was sullen, his eyes piercing.
You ignored the shudder that threatened to roll through you in response. It was a strangely familiar expression on his face.
Where had you seen that look?
“Oh, yeah! You’re 107…Sure!” you laughed sarcastically. “You just have the greatest plastic surgeon of all time, in fact there’s a bunch of centenarians wandering around looking thirt-”
You trailed off as a wave of recognition suddenly hit you and the penny dropped. Oh. Oh.
He wasn’t from the market…
It was him.
Your eyes panned down to the crumpled newspaper lying next to you. The same man’s face scrutinised you from the page, an exact mirror image of the brooding 3D version in front of you. A little older now, but still unmistakably the same man.
Oh!
Now you remembered that same picture on the news. Read about the terrible things he’d done before when he was under hypnosis. For the Nazis? The Soviets? Both? Flashes of recollection hit you at once, disjointed and scattered.
It wasn’t really him doing all of it, it was a mind control thing, they’d said. He was like the Captain…the first one from the 40s. Kept young…somehow. He had a robot arm. Then there was the big government pardon after he’d helped to save the world. The deep dive the New York Times had done on his assassin past. What had they said he was called? Iceman? Winter? Winter hitman?
The Winter Soldier.
Barton? Baines? No, Barnes.
Barnes.
As in…son of Winnifred and George?
Ah.
He must’ve seen your train of thought written all over your face as he nodded solemnly at you.
“Yeah. It’s me. And I only found their resting place a few weeks ago,” he said with disdain.
You got to your feet, taking a few cautious steps backwards. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You didn’t need to be a jerk - I’ve just been coming here for years, and I’d never seen…”
You trailed off, he didn’t care. His focus was on the graves, one gloved hand gripping the top of his father’s stone as he peered down at the grass below.
You turned to leave, giving him his privacy, “I’m sorry for your loss,” you mumbled quietly as you picked up your kit.
You started to head back to your car, then turned to face him again after a couple of steps. You warily moved back towards him and leaned over, placing a single flower between the feet of his parents’ graves. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t pick it up and throw it back in your face, either.
As you walked away, you thought you felt the weight of his gaze on your back.
🍂
Another week passed and you were back at the cemetery once more, working the usual routine and doing your best to forget what had happened the last time you were here. Upsetting a war veteran slash Avengers superhero by accusing him of not being his parents’ child was impressively incompetent, even by your standards. But in your defence, he did just start yelling at you out of nowhere. And you were only trying to help. And he was a literal defiance of nature, time, and aging…
But then again, people weren’t always their best selves in a cemetery. It wasn’t exactly Happy Hour over here. And you’d probably freak out too if you caught a stranger tinkering around with the resting place of your parents. The parents who died of old age while you were cryogenically frozen and a prisoner in your own body…
You’d done a little more reading up on him, James Buchanan Barnes. ‘Bucky’. The man behind the scary winter soldier mask. The older images of him in his combat gear were chilling, as were the alleged stats of his kills, but mainly you just felt immense empathy for a man out of time. A man who had lost his youth, a limb, his autonomy, and everybody he once knew from his old life.
You tried to put it out of your mind, catching your parents up on what they’d missed and pretty-ing things up a little around their plot. You didn’t touch the Barnes’ this time, just gave them a little wave and concentrated on your own flesh and blood.
You were a million miles away, lost in the quiet fog that often seemed to overtake you when you were working in the cemetery. It was peaceful, really. This was the one place you could switch your brain off and quiet the chatter of your head, just concentrate on the tasks you knew so well by now that your hands did them on muscle memory alone.
You were just adjusting the newest flowers when a voice interrupted you.
“Hey,” it said.
It startled you as you were still in your own world and hadn’t heard anyone else approach. You whirled around slightly panicked as a pair of eyes the colour of sapphires met yours.
It was him again.
“Oh, hello,” you replied quietly.
He stared over at you, wrapped up in his coat as he was last time. His stare was still intense despite appearing much calmer than when you first met him. He wore black pants and boots, his hands tucked away into his pockets, a dark backpack slung over his shoulder. His face was more relaxed than it was during your first encounter. His blue eyes were just as arresting, but the absence of anger made them sparkle rather than burn. He had a soft dusting of stubble across his taut jawline, his dark hair was pulled back behind his head as he absent-mindedly ran a hand over it. He was…
…hot?
Fuck.
He nodded at you in acknowledgement and moved to George and Winnifred’s plot, kneeling in front of their stones. He pulled a candle out from his backpack and lit it with a lighter, placing it between where his parents lay.
You turned away sharply, not wanting to look like you were intruding during what was clearly a private moment of mourning. You focused on your own parents’ graves, clipping back the flowers as quietly as possible.
The two of you continued doing your own thing, the awkwardness thick in the air. You remembered how furious he’d been with you last time. You considered saying something, trying to explain that you were only trying to maintain the graves, but you didn’t want to provide any more ammunition for potential anger. Instead, you continued your routine in silence, keeping your eyes down.
After you finished you packed up your stuff and cleared your throat, ‘uh, bye,” you said quietly to him as you hurried down the path and back towards your car. He didn’t respond, but looked up at you as you passed, studying you intently.
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arlana-likes-to-write · 2 months ago
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Sugar Rush
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Family is More Than Blood Masterlist
Summary: Carol needs advice on how to ask you on a date.
Warning: fluff, some amount of angst, mention of past abuse from the Red Room and Dreykov, Val is a good friend, everyone loves to tease the reader, gay panic
Word Count: 5.3k
Maybe Carol was overthinking it. This wasn’t foreign territory to her. It was easy for her to get a girl into bed with her. Yes, it built her a reputation as a playboy, but no one got hurt. In her eyes, she was entitled to a bit of fun after all the hell she’s been through. But you were different, so Carol needed to be different. Carol found you attractive. She believed anybody was an idiot if they failed to see your physical beauty. However, it was your heart that drew her in.
Her time was between patrolling the stars and helping the Avengers on Earth. Somehow, you were all Yelena talked about when she was at the compound. Since the fall of the Accords, Yelena has painted this picture of you. Her older sister gave herself up to Dreykov, so she and Natasha could be free. Carol was intrigued by you. She wondered how someone who was captured by the darkness so young and for so long was good.
It was easy for you to capture Carol on your web; she knew you had no idea what you were doing. At first, it was the way she caught you staring at her when she got done meeting with Steve. The blush on your cheek was Carol’s new favorite color. Then, it was the way you confronted the Widow after exposing her to the red dust. You opened your arms to her without hesitation. You comforted her and reassured her that it was not her fault.
At the bar, where you thankfully agreed to get a drink, it was your smile as you tried to hide it. The way your eyes lit up when you talked about your sisters. Even when she spoke of her life, you hung on every word she said.
What she told your sisters was true. She wanted to be your friend. If it led to more (which she hopped), then she would be grateful. But it would be on your timeline; she wouldn’t force you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.
So here she was, on her ship and lost on what to do. You were visiting the compound for a few days, and it linked up to when Carol was coming back to Earth. Your friendship was growing through text messages or short phone calls. Carol wanted to plan something fun to do together. She called Valkyrie for help. Was it wise to call her ex-girlfriend and her first girlfriend since Monica? Unsure, but there weren’t other people she could ask. Besides, she and Val ended things on good terms; they were better off as friends. “Oh captain, my captain,” Val teased when the call connected and her hologram came up. “What do I owe the pleasure?” Carol rolled her eyes.
“Am I interrupting?”
“Oh, you are, but being a king is trying work,” she sighed dramatically. “What do you need? You never call.” She winced and made a mental note to be better at that.
“I need advice.”
“Is this about the Black Widow you fancy?” Val asked.
“I don’t fancy her,” she stood up from her bed and moved around her ship. “Also, who says fancy anymore?” Val laughed. “But yes, it’s about her,” she picked up a toy for Goose and threw it. The flerken ran after it. “I want to plan something but don’t know what to do.” Val hummed.
“Is the endgame to sleep with her?” Carol slapped her hand against her forehead. “What?” Val asked while laughing. “It’s a valid question, and depending on the answer, I could give different options,” Carol sighed, picked up the toy Goose brought back, and threw it again.
“Yes,” she admitted. “But not right away. She’s special, Val, and I don’t want to fuck this up like I normally do. If I do, I will have two very pissed-off Black Widows after me,” Carol paused. “3 if her mother decides to join in on the hunt,” Val laughed so hard, she almost fell out of her chair. The sound made Carol smile. Val was a pain in her ass sometimes, but she was grateful for her.
“Goodness, I forgot how funny you are.” Carol wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, so she kept her comments to herself. “So we want friendship to possible lovers’ date ideas, right?”
“Yes,” Carol sighed, shaking her head. She was starting to regret asking Val.
“And she’s the one who gave herself up for her sisters,” Carol hummed. “Heroic,” Val was silent beside the click of her pen, and she leaned back in her chair. So Carol kept throwing the toy for Goose. “Take her to an arcade.”
“An arcade?” Carol questioned, froze mid-throw, and looked at Val’s hologram. The flerken yelled at her, so she threw it at him. Val was leaning on her desk with her hands crossed.
“Yeah, she’s probably never been to one. You guys can be all cute and competitive; then you can woo her by winning her a prize.”
“I hate you,” Carol deadpanned, but it wasn’t a bad idea.
“No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t have called me,” she had a point. “Let me know how it goes.”
“Thanks, Val,” Carol smiled. “I’ll come visit soon.”
“Bring the new boo thang,” Carol hung up before Val could say anything. Sighing, she sat down in her chair with her hands over her eyes. She felt a little silly, acting like a teenager with a crush. But she was nervous and a little anxious, and these were feelings she wasn’t used to. Goose ran over and jumped on her lap, rubbing his head against her hand to get the captain to pet him. Carol smiled.
“Maybe I should take you with me. She does want to meet you,” the flerken meowed. “Do you promise not to eat any of them?” Immediately, Goose jumped off her lap. “That does not provide me with any confidence.”
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
“Hey stranger,” you turned around from your spot in the kitchen to see Carol. While you were in Russia, you missed your sisters. You missed spending time with Wanda, but you missed Carol the most. These feelings were something you were still trying to understand. While apart, your friendship was forged over text messages and phone calls. You worried your friendship wasn’t going to work in person.
“Did you bring him?” You asked. Carol shook her head but chuckled at your frown.
“Stark doesn’t like Goose,” she said and took half of the sandwich you made. You could give two fucks about Stark’s feelings. You wanted to meet the cat or Flerken or whatever. “Goose tried to eat him last time.”
“Good,” you shrugged. “He probably deserved it.” Carol laughed and took a bite. “Is it good?” The captain nodded with a smile. You rolled your eyes and took a bite of your half. She was right. It was good. Another thing about the compound is that your food was never safe.
“Do you have plans for tonight?” Usually, you would spend it with whoever wanted to watch a movie or play video games.
“Nope,” you said. “Do you want to do something?” You watched her smile grow, and you enjoyed it.
This is the first time you’ve done this. You only looked at someone and enjoyed their mannerisms by analyzing every detail for a mission. Slowly, you were unlearning those behaviors while leaving with the Avengers. Wanda liked tea before she went to bed. Steve always had a sketchbook next to him. When Yelena was nervous or anxious, she played with the rings on her fingers.
You liked learning about Carol. When she was reading over a mission report, she was spinning a pen between her fingers. Her eyes would light up when she was asked about Monica or Goose because she loved them both. She was playful, snarky, and wasn’t afraid to tease your sisters or Tony. “Do you want to go somewhere with me?” She asked.
“Do I get to know where we are going?” you countered. Carol shook her head. “It sounds like you are kidnapping me,” the captain smirked.
“Do you think I could kidnap you and get away with it?” You shrugged. It would be a challenge, but it would be fun. Besides, she could not get very far. Carol laughed.
“Do you trust me?” It went against your training to trust anyone, but you wanted to trust her.
“Yes,” you answered.
“Good, wear something casual, and I’ll pick you up at 5,” she winked at you, leaving you alone in the kitchen. You shook your head with a smile and ignored the way her playful gesture filled your stomach with butterflies. Instead of focusing on the upcoming hang-out with Carol, you began to clean the kitchen. It was a simple task that kept your mind busy and present. You were so distracted that you didn’t realize someone else entered the kitchen.
“Why are you cleaning?” You jumped at the sound of Wanda’s voice. “I am going to brag for years that I was able to sneak up on you,” you rolled your eyes at the witch and splashed water at her before drying your hand. “That was uncalled for.”
“Are you hungry? I can make you something quick,” you said, ignoring her question by opening the fridge and pretending to look through it. But you felt her eyes on your back. “Stop that,” you said.
“Then answer my question,” you sighed and closed the fridge. Wanda sat on a chair, and you leaned against the counter. Thankfully, Wanda gave you time to collect your thoughts. It seemed wild that these people cared about you when you hadn’t been in the compound for long. It was a feeling you were getting used to. You’ve been on your own for so many years. Sighing, you twisted the ring your sisters gave you for your birthday.
“Carol asked if I wanted to hang out tonight, and I said yes,” you said slowly.
“You guys hand out all the time,” Wanda said with a slight tilt of her head. That was true. If you weren’t with Wanda or your sisters, you were with Carol.
“Her asking me felt different,” you told her. “I think she asked me on a date.” A smile grew on the witch’s face.
“Finally!” She threw her arms in the air. “I’ve been so tired of listening to her thoughts whenever you guys are in the same room.” You felt your body heat up.
“She thinks about me?” You questioned.
“All the time,” she answered honestly. “Some thoughts aren’t very PG,” you groaned and snapped a towel at her. Wanda laughed and took your weapon of choice. “I will be fine,” she said. “Besides, she is in your mind just as much, if not more.” You flipped Wanda off as she took an orange from the fruit bowl and left.
You tried to keep your thoughts at bay around Wanda. Yelena told you the story of how they met the witch. You trusted her, especially since your sisters did, but your mind was filled with so much bloodshed you caused that you did not want to subject her to that. Of course, she was right. Carol always seemed to be on your mind. Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing after all.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
“An arcade?” you questioned and looked at Carol. You stood at the entrance, amazed by the sounds and lights.
“Yeah, I thought it would be fun and a little competitive.” Carol walked over to the counter and bought two game cards from the high schooler. You were busy looking at the lights flashing and the sounds of the games. “Is this okay?” she asked and handed you a card that looked like an ID.
“I’ve never been to one,” you followed her to where the prizes were. They had candy, stuffed animals, and fidget toys. Above everything else were the more expensive prizes like game consoles and household products. You weren’t sure what a kid would do with an air fryer. “There was one in the mall in Ohio, but I wasn’t allowed to go in.” You were so jealous of the kids that were running around being kids.
“Is this okay?” Her question snapped you of your thoughts. She looked concerned.
“I’m gonna kick your ass in that shooting game I saw.”
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
You won the shooting game, but she got more tickets than you. Combined, you had enough for a small teddy bear that she gave to you, and after the arcade, she took you to dinner for food. You had a great time. Not that you feared you wouldn’t, but this felt different. You weren’t afraid to hide your glances at her as you watched her concentrate on the silly games. She was adorable, and the smile on your face hurt your cheeks.
“Hey,” Carol’s gentle voice pulled you out of sleep. “We are back at the compound.” You opened your eyes and blinked away the sleep.
“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” you rubbed your eyes and Carol smiled.
“It’s fine,” she said and turned off the car. You looked cute.” It was reflexes when you punched her arm softly, but you felt your body heat up at the compliment. Her laughter followed you as you exited the car with her teddy bear in hand. Out of the car, you heard the weather—the pounding of the rain against the walls. There was the distinct sound of thunder.
“It’s raining,” you said.
“Yup,” Carol closed the door of the car. “We seemed to have followed the storm.” A smile grew on your face. “Why are you smiling?” You loved the rain. You loved laying in bed and listening to the weather back in Ohio. Sooner rather than later, Yelena would end up in your but that moment of peace you cherished. Without answering, you placed your prize on the car’s roof and walked to the garage door. The hum of the garage opener filled the silence. Then, the smell of petrichor filled your lungs. “What are you doing?”
You glanced over your shoulder with a mile and walked up the driveway. Immediately, the rain soaked your clothes. A gasp left your lips as the temperature of the rain startled you. Soon, your body got used to the cold. “You are going to get sick,” Carol said with a smile and crossed arms.
“I can’t get sick,” it was a half-truth. It was more challenging for you to get sick. “You can come keep me warm,” you smirked. You held your breath as you watched Carol think it over. Maybe you were being too forward. Perhaps all she wanted was to be friends. The captain shook her head. With a smile, she ran up the ramp and into you. You laughed as you wrapped your arms around her neck, and she spun you in a circle. Carol placed you on the ground. Your laughter died down, and you stared at her lips.
You couldn’t remember your first kiss. It was before Ohio, you thought - a short kiss between you and another Window. As you got older, kissing was used as a tool. You would make out with a target and slip a sedative in their drink. Now you wanted to kiss someone and have it mean something. That scared you. Would kissing her change what you already had? You would rather stay friends than ruin it.
“Tag your it,” you said, tagged the Avenger, and ran off. Running seemed like the more straightforward thing to do.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Carol sighed and stepped out of the bathroom. Her hair was still wet from the shower, but she had time to dry and style it. Her phone rang when she changed into gray pants and a white sports bra. “Hey Val,” she said, placing the phone on speaker. “I find it rude that you aren’t at this party.” Val laughed.
“Maybe Stark shouldn’t plan something so last minute,” Val had a point. “Turn on your camera. Let me see what you are wearing.” Carol rolled her eyes and placed her phone against the lamp to turn on the camera. She was finishing buttoning her white shirt when her friend’s face appeared on the phone. “I like the gray suit,” she wiggled her eyebrows. “Is she going to be there?”
“Not sure,” Carol stood in the bathroom to dry her hair and brushed it out. “She’s returning from a mission. Nat isn’t sure if she’ll be back.”
“But you are still trying to look hot,” Carol shrugged.
“Always good to be prepared,” she returned to the closest to put on her gray vest. It was more than just looking good. She felt confident in this suit. After the almost kiss in the raid, she needed all the confidence she could get.
“What’s wrong?” Val asked. “If you keep frowning like that, you will get more wrinkles.” The captain flipped her friend off. “So what’s the matter?” Carol sighed.
“We almost kissed last week, and we haven’t hung out since then,” she told her. “I don’t want to force her into something she isn’t ready for. I’d rather be friends than lose her.” Val was watching her closely.
“You aren’t forcing her, Carol,” she said. “If she did not like you, she wouldn’t hang out with you. " That was true, but Carol was worried. She is her own person.” You were, and Carol was lucky to see glimpses of the person you were becoming. “Goodness, you have it bad for her.”
“Shut up,” Carol mumbled, but she did not deny it. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Let me know how it goes!” Carol waved and ended the call. She had it bad for you, and it was so worth it.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
“There she is!” Yelena cheered. Carol watched the blonde run over to you. Something short-circuited in Carol’s brain. It wasn’t her proudest moment; the way her jaw dropped, a bit of her drink fell down her chin.
“Damn, you got it bad, Danvers,” Steve laughed and handed her a napkin. Carol snatched it out of his hand.
“Language, soldier,” but he wasn’t wrong. It was hard not to look at you. She saw the politicians glance your way. The red dress highlighted your figure with a thigh slight and spaghetti straps. She could tell you were wearing little makeup, but you never needed it, in her opinion. Steve chuckled.
“Maybe you should tell her how you feel,” he said. “You never know what could happen”. Carol looked at Steve and then back at you. Natasha and Maria joined the small group around you. You caught her looking, and you waved. She raised her glass to you with a smile. It was embarrassing how often she thought about kissing you or holding you in her arms. But she promised your sisters and herself she would take it slow and not force you.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Maybe you’re right.”
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
God, you hated parties with politicians. The dress wasn’t helping your situation, but when Sonya discovered your slight crush on Carol, she suggested the red dress. It was working. Her eyes were on you as soon as you arrived, but she hadn’t moved toward you. You sat at the table with your back to the wall, nursing a rum and coke. Yelena was with Sam and Wanda. Natasha was talking with some politicians whose names you couldn’t remember. You weren’t worried. She could handle herself around men like this. Men who valued power over personal values. It was hard to find a good politician these days. Maria and Steve were with her.
Honestly, you were so exhausted - mind, body, and soul - which wasn’t helping your mood. The past three days were late nights chasing down Widows, exposing them to the red dust, and then helping them settle. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for a week, but luck was not on your side. Tony was having a party with a few politicians. You could have gone back to Russia, but it was packed with Widows, and you would get no rest with Alexei being annoying. So, the compound was the best option. Even though Yelena wanted to see you at the party. “Well, well, well,” a man said, walking over to you. He was drinking an old fashion. “Mind if I join you?”
“It’s all yours, sir. " He smiled and took the empty seat. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.”
“David Palmer,” he extended his hand for you to shake. Before you could introduce yourself, he cut you off. “I know who you are,” you said, keeping your smile on your face and tapping into your training. To everyone here, you were a businesswoman from Boston. The fewer people who knew you were with the Avengers, the better.
“Who am I, Mr. Palmer?” You asked and sipped on your drink. You saw Carol looking at you over the man’s shoulder.
“You are Dreykov’s spider,” he whispered as if he were telling you a secret. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but you kept on smiling. It was only a matter of time before you ran into someone who knew your past. You wished it wasn’t happening here. You circled the liquid in your glass and leaned back in the chair with your right leg crossed over your left. His eyes trailed up and down your body.
“If I am who you think I am,” you said. “What will you do with that information, Mr. Palmer?” He sipped on his drink and looked around the party.
“Do they know?” He questioned. “Do they know everything you did for him?” Natasha and Yelena knew a fraction of what occurred between you and Dreykov. But you wanted to keep that a secret for the others, especially Carol. “I’m guessing they don’t because you are among the heroes here.”
“What do you want, Palmer?” You asked. You were done with being nice. He wanted something. It was the only reason he was here. David placed a hand on your thigh. You fought your instincts not to break every one of his fingers. You hated the way his hand felt on you.
“Just one night with you,” he said. “Or I won’t go to the press. No one will know that the Avengers are harboring a killer.” His hands squeezed the flesh of your thigh. “You can imagine how bad that would look for them.”
They would lose their credibility with the public. Everything would be questioned. As for you, well, you could not care. You had to protect them, but you hated the idea of sleeping around to keep a secret. “Thank you, Mr. Palmer, but I’d have to decline your very generous offer.” You removed his hand and stood up. Before you could walk away, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back, flesh to his chest.
“Do you think you are better than us, slut?” He asked. You’ve dealt with men like this before. Men that weren’t used to hearing no. “You are a nobody without the men that made you. So get on your knees and start serving me.”
Before you reconnected with your sisters, you would have done it. You would have gotten on your knees and pleased him because that was how you were trained. You were different now. Your life was different, and you hated the way this man touched you. You twisted out of his hold and grabbed a pressure point on his wrist. The man crumbled to his knees. The irony. “It’s not nice to grab someone if they don’t want to be touched.” You felt the eyes of everyone at the party. You were causing a scene.
You quickly turned around, put your half-finished drink on the bar, and walked to the stairs to the roof. Even with the Red Room gone, that place was still haunting you.
You liked the way the cold weather felt on her arms. It was like a gentle embrace, a crisp and refreshing touch that awakened your senses. The air’s chill contrasted with your skin’s warmth, creating a delightful shiver. There was a sense of tranquility in the coolness, a quiet calm that settled over everything. Each breath you took felt clearer and purer. “What did he say to you?” Carol asked, walking up behind you.
“Nothing, I haven’t heard before,” you answered, not looking at her. Even when she stood next to you.
“You can tell me if it would make you feel better.” You shook your head.
“I don’t want you to look at me differently,” you admitted. She was quiet as you both stared into the vast darkness.
“I could never,” you glanced at her, and she looked at you. “Do you need a hug?” she asked. You nodded, and she was quick to pull you into a hug. Her warmth was intoxicating. Your body relaxed, and muscles loosened as if you had shredded a heavyweight. Her hug felt safe, a sanctuary where you could feel relaxed and at ease. “I almost punched him,” she broke the beat of silence that passed between you and her.
“Better you than me. He’s a slimy piece of shit,” her chest vibrated as she laughed.
“Oh, I know. I hated how he looked at you,” so did you. It was like you were a piece of meat to him. Then again, it wasn’t a look you were unfamiliar with. You pulled out of the hug to look at her better. “You do look stunning in this dress, by the way,” you smiled and fixed her tie and gray vest that you had messed up from the hug.
“You don’t look half bad yourself, Captain.” You liked the way her cheeks blushed. “I wore this for you, by the way,” you walked away, fingers running across the metal railing. You felt her eyes on your back.
“Wait, wait,” she jogged to catch up. “What did you mean by that?” You shrugged as she gently grabbed your wrist but immediately let go of you. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you.” You frowned at her statement. You offered her your hand, and she took it. “Why did you wear this dress for me?” She asked. You concentrated on the way your hand felt against hers. Her hand was rough but warm. It showed years of hard work.
“I wanted you to notice me,” you whispered.
“Notice you?” Carol questioned. “I am always noticing you. I can’t keep my eyes off of you,” a small squeak left the back of your throat. Carol smiled. “Do you want to go on a date?”
“Like a date-date?” You questioned. “Not as friends, but maybe as something more.”
“Do you want to be something more?” The question stumped you. But Carol was patient and played with the ring your sisters gave you on your finger. Did you want more? Did you want to go on dates? To fall asleep in her arms? To wake up to the feeling of her lifts on your skin? The idea terrified you. Before Carol, you ‘dated’ two other people. One was a girl in your class in Ohio. You both were too young to understand what it meant. The second person was a Red Room guard who trusted the man’s loyalty. He failed, so he was killed. There was a brief moment when you thought you were in love with the Winter Solider, but Carol could be different.
She would be someone without the influence of the Red Room, someone who understood a life of fighting, someone who could like you and look based on the scars on your body and the blood on your hands. “Yes,” you finally said. “But I’m not sure if I’ll be good at this,” Carol smiled and hugged you again. Immediately, you slummed into her warmth.
“I’m in the same boat,” she chuckled. “We can learn together.” Her lips briefly touched your forehead. The spot tingled, and it made you smile.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Your eyes closed as soon as your back hit your bed. Carol walked you to your room, kissed you on the cheek, and wished you a good night. You were frozen to the spot for a split second, and touched your cheek. Finally, you entered your room, showered, changed, and flopped onto the bed. The exhaustion of the past few days was catching up to you. But your eyes were forced open when there was rapid knocking on your door. “Come in,” you called out. The door opened. Suddenly, a body jumped on you, and blonde hair covered your vision. You groaned. “Get your fat ass off of me,” you pushed your sister off, and she fell onto the floor with a grunt.
“First of all, I am not fat,” she stood up. “Second, you are just jealous of this ass.” You rolled your eyes, and she sat next to you. “We wanted to make sure you are okay.” You pushed yourself up to your elbows and saw Natasha. Your sisters were changed and freshly showered.
“Stark threw that jackass out, and Maria is working on getting him removed from office,” it was a start, and you were grateful they were taking it seriously. But you knew it was only a matter of time before another dirty politician took his place.
“I’m okay,” you told your sisters. You watched Natasha close the door and sit down next to you. “What he said to me is stuff I’ll always hear.” You were numb to all of it. You’ve been called a monster, a slut, a killer. Everything from A to Z was thrown at you. It was something you were used to.
“I thought Carol was going to kill him,” Yelena said. “Steve had to stop her.” The mention of Carol made you smile, biting your lip, which Natasha noticed.
“What happened on the roof?” You shrugged, but the smile gave you away. Natasha nudged your shoulder with hers. “Come on, tell us.”
“She asked me on a date,” you said slowly. “And I said yes.”
“You said yes?” Yelena questioned. You nodded. There was silence before Yelena squealed and put her arms around you. She shook you from side to side.
“You and Natasha could go on double dates,” Honestly, that was the last thing you wanted to do. You pushed Yelena to the floor again. “Stop doing that!” You laughed and looked at the redhead. You weren’t sure why you looked for Natasha’s approval.
“I’m so happy for you,” she squished your cheeks. “Look at you dating. I love seeing you all happy,” you pushed her hands away and glared at her. That was payback for your teasing with Maria.
“I hate you,” you deadpanned. Natasha smiled. She stood up and moved to the top of your bed. “What are you doing?” You asked.
“You need sleep,” she answered. “Melina said it had been a long few days.”
“Alright, Mom,” you crawled up to the headboard. “Are you going to tuck me in?” She flicked your forehead. “Fuck off!” You said and rubbed the spot she flicked.
“Move over,” Yelena said, pushing you to the bed’s edge.
“I’m gonna need some room, too,” Natasha added. Yelena pushed closer to you, and Natasha laid down next to her. “You need a bigger bed.”
“I wasn’t expecting sleepovers all the time,” you said, closing your eyes and slowly falling asleep to the steady beat of Yelena’s heart. Then you felt Natasha’s hand on your shoulder. You opened your eyes to see Natasha looking at you.
“I hope you know we don’t think you are any of those things that man called you,” she whispered. “No one here does.” You forced a smile.
“Thank you, Nat,” you whispered. “Now go to sleep,” she chuckled, and you closed your eyes. It did not matter what they thought of you. You knew who you were. You knew you were a killer. The blood on your hands runs deep. No matter how often you tried washing your hands, the blood remained.
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trashywormeateroffics · 11 months ago
Text
the great war (bucky barnes x female reader)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
the gif is not mine!
summary: you get jealous and have a fight with bucky. inspired by the great war by taylor swift.
a/n: hey anon!!! sorry it took so long. i have no excuse. anyways, i hope you enjoy this!!! <333 also i am once again asking u to send me requests with marvel characters (natasha/bucky/loki) and taylor swift songs so i can write a one shot about it !!!! bye love u
masterlist
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you don't know how it all happened. one second, everything was perfect. the next, you were acting like a crazy person and saying horrible and hurtful things. and now you're pretty sure you've officially lost him forever.
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it all started with her. agent carpenter. pretty, blue eyed blonde, flirty, perfect agent carpenter.
“alright everyone,” tony begins and the people in the meeting fall into silence. “as you all know, a new member is joining us on the avengers initiative.” they all nod, including you. “her name is samara carpenter and she was personally recruited by fury. which means she's very good at what she does.” the billionaire looks at steve and he nods, taking the lead.
“alright, i want you all to be nice and welcoming. especially you buck.” he says, making most of the people there snort. you look at him.
“what did i do now?” bucky asks, incredulous.
“nothing yet, but if you just stare at her and don't greet her like a normal person she'll leave this team as fast as she came.” sam tells him. the grumpy super soldier rolls his eyes.
“whatever, bird-brain.”
steve shakes his head in disapproval of the two bickering idiots but soon enough he's back on track with the presentation.
bucky's rough gaze scans the room until it falls on you. his eyes soften when he sees that you are already looking at him. you give him a soft and playful smile, which he returns.
after the meeting is done and everyone is dismissed, you head to your room.
not five seconds pass until someone knocks on the door. you smile, because you know who it is.
“come in!” you sing-song.
when he enters, you can't help but stare at him. you've been together for a year now but you still couldn't believe that he was yours. he was so beautiful, so funny, so kind, so dumb sometimes, just so… him. you loved him so much. yet you still hadn't said it. you were trying to take things slow, for both of your sakes.
“hey.” you tell him as he closes the door behind him. he has a look on his face which you recognize. something's bothering him.
“c'mere.” you pat the spot next to you on the bed.
he wastes no time in dropping himself unceremoniously on the mattress and letting out a sigh.
you begin to run your hands through his hair.
“d'you think i'm scary?” he asks with a pout adorning his beautiful pink lips. god, you want to kiss him so badly. so that's what you do. you peck his lips and then immediately shake your head with a smile.
“do you think that adorable pout could be scary?” he purses his lips to stop himself from smiling, but still, a small smile plays on his lips.
“y/n, i'm being serious.” he sighs. you do too.
“maybe to some people you could be. not to me though.”
“but when you first met me-”
“i was too busy thinking about how hot you were to worry about you being scary.” he laughs. god, how you love that sound. you would ridicule yourself to hear it. “is this about what steve and sam said?”
he shrugs.
“i just… hate that i'm so socially inadequate.”
you hand in his hair stops. he furrows his brows.
“bucky,” you begin, “we are a bunch of weirdos, all of us. there is not one person on this team who is socially adequate.”
“but at least the others can fake it, you can fake it.”
“you know what my favorite thing about you was when we first started to become friends?” you ask and he shakes his head. “that your face said it all. if you weren't in the mood for something, i could tell from a mile away, and in return, if something excited you, it would be contagious.” you caress his cheek and he leans into your touch. “and when i couldn't pretend, i always knew you were there to just sit in silence with me. no expectations to be socially acceptable.”
“i don't know how you do it.” he sighs. you frown.
“do what?”
“make every bad thing about me sound so… good.”
your frown deepens.
“hey.” you straddle him and grab his face in between both your hands. “you are perfect. just like you are. don't you dare change yourself.” you tell him firmly. then you purse your lips. “unless you totally want to for whatever reason and i would totally support you because-” you suddenly fall silent. he looks at you, expectant for you to finish your sentence. “because you know i'm here for you, no matter what.”
he smiles softly.
“i know, doll. me too, i'm always here for you no matter what.” you purse your lips to stop yourself from spilling your heart out of your mouth as you caress his cheekbone with your thumb.
“how about we watch a movie? you can pick.”
he pecks your lips and nods.
you spend what is left of the day watching movies and cuddling.
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two days after that meeting, she arrives. you're all hanging around the common kitchen when steve appears with someone trailing behind him.
“everyone, this is agent carpenter.”
“please, call me samara. or sammie even.”
“sammie, nice to meet you.” sam is the first one to greet her. “i'm sam wilson, but the coolest avenger is fine too.”
you shake your head and roll your eyes. then, you take a step forward, but before you can introduce yourself and welcome her to the team, you see her eyes flicking over to something right next to you. or someone. her eyes shine with curiosity and attraction.
“hi, nice to meet you.” she smirks. you swallow slowly.
bucky gives her a nod, but then he seems to remember what steve and sam told him and attempts to give her a smile.
“hi, i'm bucky.”
“bucky,” she repeats slowly, almost tasting the name in her mouth. she's about to say something else but before she can, you speak up.
“i'm y/n. welcome to the team.” you smile as honestly as you possibly can, but dread fills your stomach.
“hi!” she smiles at you. “you're so pretty, oh my god!”
you give her a tight smile.
“thank you.”
“of course!”
the rest of the team introduces themselves, even though she insists she already knows almost all of them and then you all go about your day.
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it had been a month since she arrived at the compound. you had seen her a few times, mostly during training. but you didn’t particularly go out of your way to talk to her. there was something you didn’t like. maybe it was your intuition, or maybe it was the fact that she did seem to go out of her way to talk to your boyfriend. and he did not seem upset by that, the opposite actually. he seemed to enjoy it.
you were not a jealous person, least of all with bucky. but something about her irked you. something about her made you doubt yourself and everything you believed in.
“i like her,” natasha says while she paints her nails, laying on her stomach on your bed.
wanda hums in agreement while she flips through the pages of a beauty magazine. you don’t say anything.
“what about you, y/n?”
“um, yeah.” you try to give them a convincing smile but based on the looks they give you, you do not succeed.
“okay, spill the tea.” wanda tells you. had she been learning internet lingo?
you sigh.
“i just- i don’t know.” you shake your head. “doesn’t something feel off to you?”
“not really.” wanda says as natasha narrows her eyes.
“you’re jealous.” she finally decrees.
“i’m not.” you respond defensively.
“you’re jealous that she seems to be getting along with barnes.”
“i-“ you begin your sentence with the intention of uttering a lie, but it dies right on your tongue. “i am. but i don’t want to be.” you confess.
“explain yourself.” she tells you in a tone that could sound commanding and harsh to someone else, but you know it’s filled with care. she’s your best friend, she would never hurt you on purpose. so is wanda, who looks at you with a knowing look you can’t seem to pinpoint the reason for.
“i just- i don’t know. he’s never like that with anyone. since when is he the type to joke around with someone?” you shake your head. “i’m an asshole, cause i should be happy for him. he’s putting himself out there. but i can’t. i’m jealous. so cliche.” you huff.
“you’re not an asshole. an asshole would make a whole scene, give him an ultimatum or something like that. you’re just expressing your feelings to your friends.”
“and, y/n, we all have those ugly feelings. they are human.” wanda tells you, softly. “you should talk to him about it.”
“what if he gets mad?”
“y/n, please. that man adores you, he could never get mad at you. least of all for this.”
maybe they’re right. maybe that’s the healthiest thing to do. and even as you agree with them, you know you will not talk to him about this. because he will realize that you’re right, and that there is so much more to the world than just… you.
\\\\
“come on! you just have to put it in the oven!”
you hear her before you see her. you weren’t expecting to see him though.
right there, almost as if mocking you, they stand. cooking together. he looks so comfortable around her.
they seem to be wrapped up in their own little bubble, so you clear your throat. immediately, they turn to look at you. he widens his eyes, almost looking guilty.
“james found me and i asked him to join me.” she explains, but you stop paying attention the moment she says his name. she called him james.
“james?” you narrow your eyes in question.
he seems to want to say something because he opens his mouth like a fish out of water but you leave mumbling an excuse about training with nat before he can utter a word.
back in your room, you fall to the floor and break down. you knew she was trouble the moment she walked in, but you weren’t expecting this to happen so soon.
heartbroken, you get up from where you’re sitting and head to your bathroom.
the girl in the mirror looks defeated, but you feel angry. if he didn't need you anymore, then you didn’t need him either.
\\\\
the days after that, you ignore him, always having an excuse at the tip of your tongue to not hang out with him. he doesn’t seem to care that much. until, you suppose, after three days, he begins caring.
“doll, can we talk?”
“hm?” you play dumb. you encountered each other in the common kitchen. that damned place, you hated it now, but you were hungry.
“i asked you if we can talk. you seem… distant.” his brows are furrowed. you only know that because you turned to look at him only for a second. other than that, your gaze doesn’t meet his. “come on, y/n, i know something’s wrong.”
you look at him and smile sarcastically.
“you do?”
“yes. please, let’s ta-“
“hey guys!” you roll your eyes at her voice.
“have fun you two!” you tell them, smiling venomously, only looking at him before you leave.
“is everything okay?” she asks.
“i’m sorry samara, i can’t talk right now.” you hear him say before you hear his footsteps getting closer to you in the hallway.
“y/n!” he calls out to you when you get into the elevator without looking behind you. before the doors can close, you see his metal arm get in between them. he gets in and they close. once they do, he hits the stop button. then, he turns to you. he frows when he sees the hate in your eyes. “y/n, what is going on?”
you scoff.
“fuck off, james.” you tell him, your voice full of venom. he widens his eyes in surprise before narrowing them.
“oh, so that’s it? you’re jealous and that’s why you’re avoiding me and acting crazy now?”
“i’m not jealous, but i’m not blind either.” you clench your jaw. “and don’t call me crazy.”
“you are blind if you think something’s going on with her.” he tells you. you roll your eyes and then tilt your head.
“when was the last time you let someone call you james? when was the last time you cooked with someone who was not steve?” he begins breathing heavily. you laugh and bite your lip incredulously. “i think you took the whole being friendly thing too serious.”
“i can't believe you right now.” he shakes his head. “you're angry because i'm not being an asshole to her?”
you scoff.
“oh, please, james.” he clenches his jaw.
“stop calling me that.”
“oh, so i can't call you that but she can?”
“you know that's not-”
“you know what? go ahead. let her call you james. fuck her in the middle of the common room for all i care. lets see how long she puts up with you.” you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth but its too late, a deep hurt covers his face. still, you can't stop. you're too hurt, too scared. too goddamn stupid. “you think she's going to console you while you have your nightmares?” you laugh venomously. “you think she's going to accept you, all of you?” as you keep talking, his expression turns from pained to angry. resentful even.
he turns to the panel control of the elevator and pushes the stop button so the elevator will move again.
“you know what?” he glances at you and you're almost taken aback by the distant look in his eyes. “maybe i'll fuck her. maybe i'll even date her too. she's probably not as desperate and clingy as you.”
“fuck you.” you spit out.
the doors open, he steps outside. before he leaves, he turns to look at you.
“yeah, you too.”
after the doors close again, you fall to the floor and let out a heart-wrenching sob. you never thought it would end like this.
\\\\
four days. four fucking, horrible, long days bucky has been gone from the compound. you try to ask steve about it, because you know he knows where he is, but he won't tell you. even though you two are close friends and he never got in the middle of a fight between you two– even though you two never fought– he seemed angry. at you. you didn't know if he knew the reason for the fight, but he knew you were in the wrong, that much you knew.
these days all you do is cry, sleep, eat and repeat. you're way past heartbroken, you're miserable, inconsolable. it's all your fault. this prison of sadness was your own making.
you miss him. god, you miss him. you wonder how he is. did he already fuck someone else? did he regret ever being with you?
you don't dare text or call him. you're too embarrassed. you acted like a crazy person, and said awful, horrific things. and you're pretty sure he'll never forgive you. but what will you do then? how will you build a life without him? oh god, you're crying again. great, just great, you think as you turn around in your bed. who were you without him?
\\\\
its the sixth day of his absence when you go talk to steve. you drag yourself from your bed, with your swollen and red rimmed eyes and knock on his door.
“y/n…” he tells you, pity dripping from his tone.
“hey…” you try to give him a fake smile, but as soon as the corners of your mouth move, they turn downwards into a frown, and you start crying. sobbing really. inconsolable sobs leave you as steve wraps you up in his arms.
“hey, hey, it's okay.”
“no, it's not! i hurt him! i don't know why i did it, but i did!” you sob.
“hey,” he pulls away from you a bit to look you in the eyes, “come in. come on, come on.” he tells you as you slowly make your way inside.
you sit down on the edge of his bed and he sits down next to you.
“steve, is he- is he okay?”
he looks at you. you know him, so you know that that look means he isn't.
“he's safe though.”
“i really messed up.”
“i know.”
“he told you?”
“he didn't need to. i saw it on camera. wanted to know why the elevator stopped working for a while.”
you put your head in your hands and begin sobbing again.
“oh my god.” you sob. “i-i'm so sorry you had to see that. i dont… i dont know what-” a hiccup escapes you. “i can't-” another hiccup. “oh god…” your shoulders shake as you sob into your hands.
“hey…” he draws comforting circles on your back, but nothing can comfort you. not when he's hurt and hates you and it's all your fault. “hey.”
“steve, how can i fix it? can i even-” hiccup, “can i even fix it?”
he looks at you with pity.
“i don't know, y/n. i think he's gonna need some time.”
“oh my god.” you say. steve had always rooted for you two, so if he's saying it can't be fixed it really means it can't. “i'm going to die.”
“you're not going to die.”
“i can't live without him. i can't.” you shake your head frantically. “please, just tell me where he is. i need to-”
“i dont think it's a good idea.” he tells you sympathetically.
“please,” you beg him, “please, i need to- if it ends…” more tears fall from your eyes. “it can't end like that. please. he deserves more than that.”
he looks at you, seemingly pondering what you're saying. you look at him the whole time, pleading. he sighs. he's going to tell you.
\\\\
you look at the old building that seems to be deteriorating with each passing second. you straighten down your clothes (steve insisted you get properly showered and dressed) and take a deep breath. he's staying at a safe house in brooklyn. of course. it was so predictable and so him, you almost decided to leave. maybe you should let it end how it ended. what if this time it was worse? but you didn't have the luxury to think like that. it was over, but you needed him to remember you as the good times you shared, not that damned last time.
you enter the building and go up the stairs to the seventh floor, since there is no elevator.
when you reach his door, a green one who looked like if you blew on it it would fall down, you freeze. what are you even supposed to say to him? hi, bucky, sorry i told you she wouldn't be able to put up with you, insinuating that you are hard to love, hope everythings okay between us! ugh, you wanted the earth to swallow you whole.
you take another deep, slow breath, because you know otherwise he'll be able to hear you. then, you knock two times.
when the door opens he takes your breath away. this time not because he's gorgeous but because you're so scared that you fear you're going to pass out.
“what do you want?” he asks harshly. you feel tears prick your eyes but you blink them away.
“hear me out, please.”
“no, thank you.” he goes to close the door, but you swiftly get inside before he does. he slams the door behind him when he turns around to look at you, now inside the apartment, looking uncomfortable and out of place. “i told you i didn't want to hear you out.”
“just-”
“leave.”
“one second-”
“leave, y/n.”
“bucky-”
“oh, so now i'm bucky?” your lip wobbles.
“you're always bucky.”
“not last time we talked.”
“that's why i'm here.” he lifts his chin, looking at you with so much indifference you wonder if he ever looked at you with love in his eyes.
“i don't care to hear you explain yourself.” a tear escapes your eye. you dry it with your sleeve harshly. his face seems to soften for a second but then it goes back to its harshness.
“i'm not here- i'm not here to explain myself.” he looks at you.
“why are you here then?” you sigh.
“remember that time you took me to feed the ducks on that park?”
“yes. so?”
you smile softly as tears fall down your face.
“that was the time i told you i wanted to be your girlfriend. no one ever took me to such a silly date.” you chuckle softly. then you frown in pain looking at the floor now. he shifts his weight from one feet to the other, impatient.
“what's your point?”
“that's how i'd like you to remember me.”
“what?” you look at him. he's frowning.
“i know that the last time we talked i was… crazy. i just- i know theres no going back, but id like, for the sake of what we had, for you to not remember me like that.” you tell him. “because we were more than that.” the last word comes out broken to give way to a silent sob. you try to compose yourself. “I'm sorry. don't pay attention to that.” you give him a fake smile, which you know he can see right through.
“y/n-”
“okay, i'll leave. but… come back to the compound. i'll move out if you want me to, just, don't stay away from your friends just because of me.” you go to leave, walking past him, when he grabs your arm. when you turn around there are unshed tears in his eyes.
“i don't care about the compound. or about remembering you.” oh. you widen your eyes and heavy tears leave them.
“okay, i'm- i'm sorry for suggesting-”
“no.” you nod, understanding. “no, no.” he repeats. he grabs you by the shoulders and he crouches so he's eye level with you. “i don't want to have to remember you.”
you frown.
“but, bucky-”
“but i probably should.” he cuts you off.
“yeah,” you laugh humorlessly as you cry. “you should. i'm sorry. i never should've come here. i'm sorry.”
“stop saying sorry and explain to me what the hell happened.” you tilt your head.
“i… i got jealous.”
“that's it? that's why you hurt me?” he asks. you look down. this was it. he was giving you a chance. explain yourself like you never have before, you think to yourself.
“i never got why you were with me-”
“stop saying were. this could end today, but as of now, were still together.” you purse your lips. “hey, hey, its okay.” he says softly as he puts his hands on your cheeks and wipes the tears that begin falling again with his thumbs.
“im sorry-” he looks at you pointedly. you nod. “i just… i don't understand why you're with me. im not- im nothing like you.” you begin. he frowns. “you are kind and thoughtful and amazing and im- im not good like you.”
“what? y/n, you're the best person i know.”
“you can't still think that.” he looks at you honestly. he does? “see? you're so- and i'm so…”
“lets sit down.” he tells you and you both do, on the old couch thats near the window. he gestures for you to continue.
“i just- you'll never get it. and thank god you won't. but im not- im not a natural, you know? not like you, not like her.” you fidget with your hands. “you guys, the team, you like me because i'm fake. you wouldn't if you knew the real me. but i showed it to you pretty easily, i guess.” you laugh without a trace of humor. he frowns. then, he grabs your hand and caresses your knuckles. bucky takes a deep breath before speaking.
“y/n, i like- no, scratch that. i love you because i know you.” your face contorts in pain. you start crying heavily again. “hey, hey, come on baby, talk to me.”
“i just… she's so… perfect. for everyone, for you.”
“i don't want her, i want you.”
“you cant want me after what i said to you. i hurt you and i'll never forgive myself for that.”
“yes, you hurt me. but you were hurt too, i just didn't see it.”
“im so scared you'll wake up one day and realize there is so much more to the world than… me.” you sob and cover your face with your hands.
bucky pulls your hands away from you face and pulls you into his lap.
“listen to me.” he tells you firmly. “there is nothing more to the world than you. you are it for me, y/n. i love you.”
“bucky-” you hiccup. “i'm so sorry i said that about you. i promise you i just said it to you because i- i was lashing out. anyone would accept and love you, you are literally the most amazing-” hiccup, “person-” hiccup, “in the universe.”
he smiles softly at you and the unshed tears come back, but this time, he lets them fall.
“baby, listen to me. i love you. i'm not going anywhere.” you open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. “and i forgive you. i promise you i don't resent you. i know what it's like to lash out when you're hurt.”
“bucky-” you sob against his chest.
“shh, baby, its okay.” he soothes you, rubbing comforting circles on your back. “it's okay, i got you.”
you take a shuddering breath and lift your head from his chest to look at him. you grab his face with both your hands.
“i promise you i'll never lash out again. im so sorry. i-” he gives you a pointed look. “i know. im not saying sorry anymore. sor-” you purse you lips and he lets out a laugh. then, he shakes his head incredulous and looks at you with so much adoration in his eyes you feel like you're going to pass out from all the love you feel for this man. “can i kiss you?” you ask him shyly.
“please.”
and so you do. the kiss is soft, vulnerable, you're telling him how sorry you are, how much you love him, and thats when you remember you didn't say it.
he whines when you pull away, something that makes you smile.
“bucky,”
“yeah, baby?”
“i love you. so much i feel like i'm going to throw up.” he lets out a loud laugh.
“i love you more, doll.”
you spend the rest of the day cuddled up on that couch in that old apartment, not ready to go to the compound yet. but you do send a text to steve before turning off your phone to spend time with the love of your life. you almost lost him, but you didn't, and as you lay in that old mattress on the floor, while he makes love to you and whispers of words of adoration and devotion fill your ears, you vow to him one thing. you'll always be his.
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literaryavenger · 1 year ago
Text
I love you and I hate it
Summary: Bucky's your best friend, but you're in love with him. Now that he has a girlfriend, will you be able to get a handle on your feelings?
Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Warnings: Bucky being a bit of an ass. Reader being dramatic. Angst. Language maybe. Minimal use of Y/N. My poor attempts at being funny.
Word Count: 2.7K
A/N: this is a two part because otherwise it was too long. Hope you like it! also, it's 4:30am and I can't help myself lol.
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Loving your best friend is not something anyone ever plans.
Getting those kinds of feelings for the person closest to you changes the way you look at them, the way you interact and essentially your relationship with them, making everything unnecessarily complicated.
At least that’s how you see it.
You definitely didn't think something like that could ever happen to you. But to be fair, you also never thought Bucky Barnes would ever become your best friend at the compound.
When you first arrived as the newest avengers recruit the brooding supersoldier was not your biggest fan. Things didn’t start on the best note for you two.
- 2 years ago -
Steve was showing you around the compound and introducing you to people and team members as you met them. You arrived at the common room where Bucky and Sam were watching Tv.
"Hey guys. This is Y/N, the new recruit I told you about," Steve introduced you "this is Sam." he said to you as Sam got up from the couch putting out his hand.
"Nice to meet you." he said.
"You too," you said, shaking his hand "it’s so exciting to be here and meet all of you. You are all such remarkable people."
"Oh, complimenting me? I like you already." Sam said chuckling.
"Of course you do." Steve said, rolling his eyes with a smile, then turned to you "and this is Bucky" he said, pointing at the brunette still sitting on the couch.
"Hi Bucky, it’s nice to meet you too." you said, getting closer to him and holding out your hand for him to shake. Bucky, however, just looked at you for a moment before standing up, turning away from you and walking out of the room without saying a word.
"Uh... did I do something wrong?" you asked, very much confused, still looking at the door Bucky just ran out of.
"No, it’s always him." said Sam.
"Sam, don’t." Steve told him, then turned to you again "don’t mind Bucky, he’s not good with new people. It’s nothing personal, he’ll get used to it, don’t worry."
"Right. He’ll get used to me." you said as he gave you an apologetic look "yeah… anyway, let’s finish the tour."
"Sure, bye Sam. See you around, I guess." you told Sam with a smile.
"Yeah, see you guys at dinner." and with that you left to finish the tour of the compound that ultimately ended with your assigned room.
"So this is your room, Natasha has the room on the right and Sam has the one on the left." he pointed at them as he talked and then pointed at the room across from yours "that's Bucky, to his right is Peter and mine is to his left."
"A lot of neighbors, got it."  you said chuckling with Steve.
"Yeah. So I’ll let you get settled and I’ll see you at dinner with the team." he said.
"Yeah, see you later." 
If you were honest with yourself, you were a little disappointed at how meeting Bucky went, you were really looking forward to meeting the super soldier.
While all the other girls were busy crushin on Captain America, you always felt more attracted to Sergeant Barnes.
Something about him just made you curious, and, after all the Winter Soldier stuff came to light, you were one of the few people that saw right away that Bucky was a victim.
You never did understand how people could read all the details of what happened to him and still call him a monster, like it was his fault that he was captured, tortured and made to do things no decent human being would ever do.
In fact, you got in trouble more than one time for fighting when things escalated while you were defending the super soldier from agents that didn’t see it like you.
It’s really a shame that a lot of agents of Shield itself thought so ill of the Sergeant. Maybe that’s why he didn’t like you, maybe he thought you were one of them.
You had to make sure he knew you weren’t.
Having made up your mind, you decided there was no better time like the present. You crossed the hall and knocked on his door, and after a few moments he opened.
"I know, Steve, don-" he interrupted himself the second he laid eyes on you.
"Sorry, not Steve. Clearly. I’m sorry to bother you, Sergeant Barnes, I just wanted to let you know that I don’t have anything against you. I know some agents feel like you should be held accountable for the things you were forced to do, and they’re not really afraid to get vocal about it, but I’m not one of them. I don’t think any of it was your fault. It may not matter much to you, after all you don’t seem to like me very much, but it’s important to me that you know this. You’re kind of my  hero." you finished, a little embarrassed at admitting this to his face. He looked at you for a few moments and, just as you thought he was about to slam the door in your face, he grinned.
"I’m your hero, doll?" he asked, leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed in a way that made his biceps look huge and a smirk on his face.
After that you and Bucky became quick friends, spending more and more time together. Missions, training, down time, you were practically attached at the hip.
You were always careful not to let any feelings grow other than friendship and, mostly, it was easy.
There were some times where you somehow ended up flirting, but they were fleeting moments that passed as quickly as they came, and you decided, for your own peace of mind, to not overthink them and let it go every time.
Now, back to the present, the reason why you’re lost in your thoughts and feelings for Bucky.
You’re watching from a distance as Bucky smiles and laughs, happier than you’ve ever seen him surrounded by his friends, more relaxed than he’s ever been during a party.
You smile at his happiness, glad that he’s finally comfortable around pretty much everybody, but your face falls pretty fast as you see him wrap his right arm around her.
You’ve known Sharon for a while now, she was one of the agents in the list for the spot in the Avengers before you got it. You always felt like she resented you for it, like she should’ve been the one to get it because she was already close with some of the members of the team.
She was never openly hostile with you, but you did notice her hanging around Bucky more and more in the last few months. You didn’t think anything of it, but you were proved wrong just half an hour ago when Bucky started to introduce her to the avengers she didn’t already know as his girlfriend.
As soon as that word came out of his mouth, so casually you’d think he'd been saying it his whole life,  you felt like you were gonna throw up.
It took all your skills to keep your face as neutral as possible, you felt like Sharon’s eyes were on you the whole time, trying to see every micro expression she could find to know what you were thinking.
But you were probably just imagining that, right?
You excused yourself as soon as you could and went straight to the bar to get the strongest drink Nat could make, which she handed to you with a knowing look while glancing behind you.
You barely had time to think before you felt his hand on your shoulder, feeling his body next to you but you didn't turn to look at him, taking a sip of your drink instead.
"Hey, doll, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Sharon before, it’s still pretty new."
You tried to keep your voice as cheery as you normally would around him. "Why would you? It’s your relationship, why are you apologizing?"
He gave you a weird look you'd never seen before, before saying "Because we’re best friends? We usually tell each other everything… right?" he sounded a bit uncertain.
"Yeah, right, duh." you said, trying to give a genuine laugh "Well, it’s alright anyway, now I know! Stop worrying, just go be with her."
He looked around your face for a few more moments, like he was looking for something, before he said "ok, then." and left.
You managed to keep the smile on your face until you were sure he was gone, but dropped it as soon as you looked back ahead of you.
Taking another sip of your drink and making a face at how much alcohol was actually in it, you looked at Nat and, nodding, you left before she could comment on the scene you’re sure she just watched in its entirety. 
So here you are now, in a corner watching people enjoy themselves, just like you used to do at parties with Bucky by your side, except you’re alone.
You try to look on the bright side, you really are, but you can find none.
You can't talk about it with anyone either since nobody knows about your feelings for the super soldier, except for Natasha who always seems to know everything, but  you aren't too close with her and neither of you ever actually spoke about it out loud.
Not that you would've, you aren't the most outgoing person, usually keeping your feelings and most of your thoughts to yourself, with the exception of Bucky.
With him talking seems like the easiest thing in the world, it doesn't matter about what. He knows almost everything that he could possibly know about you, the only thing that you could never bring yourself to talk about is your feelings for him.
You feel a hand in the low of your back and, just as you're bringing your fist up, you realize it's just Steve. "Easy there, tiger." he chuckled, lowering your arm for you. "You seem a little on edge. Everything okay?"
"Everything’s just fine, Captain. You can salute your way to someone else now." His laugh makes you smile against your will.
"Okay, rookie, you don’t wanna talk about it." you roll your eyes at the old nickname, but he keep going, "you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a party without your moping buddy."
You glance at Bucky, who's busy laughing it up with Clint and Laura, his arm still around Sharon. Your eyes find Steve’s again, and you simply shrug. "We’re allowed to do our own thing, aren’t we?"
"Of course you are... I was just wondering why you weren’t with him, that’s all."
You avoid his eyes while you quietly say, "he already has someone at his side tonight, doesn’t need me there."
"What’s that supposed to mean?" comes a voice from behind you.
Damn. The one moment you weren’t looking at him and he sneaks up on you.
You turn around and see him standing there, arms crossed in front of his chest, Sharon at his side with a smug look on her face that you convince yourself you’re just imagining.
"What’s what supposed to mean?"  You try playing dumb, but you know Bucky can see right through that.
He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly but when you just shrug and give him your best confused look, he sighs and looks at Sharon. "Hey babe, can you get me a scotch from the bar? I’ll meet you there."
You don't know if you're more hurt at him calling her that or relieved at the fact that he didn’t use the nickname that was usually reserved for you.
She just nods and, without taking her eyes off of you, gives him a kiss on the lips. Okay, you definitely didn’t imagine that. As soon as she’s far enough, Bucky turns back to you.
"What’s wrong with you tonight?" He asks sharply.
"Excuse me? Who said there was something wrong with me?" You say defensively.
"Oh come on doll, you’ve been weird ever since Sharon got here. What’s the matter, do you not like her or something?"
You don't know what to say. You certainly aren't about to tell your best friend that the reason you don’t like his new girlfriend is because you have feelings for him. That’s not gonna end well for anybody. So you decide to just keep on denying.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bucky, so why don’t you just go after you little girlfriend and enjoy your night with her."
"That, right there." he points at your face in a very accusatory manner. "What the fuck was that?"
"What was what?" you’re starting to raise your voice a little and swatting at his hand, getting annoyed at him for not letting this go.
"You’re being a jerk about Sharon, what is your problem with her?"
"I don’t have a problem with her!"
"Yes, you do!"
"Why are you trying to make this into a problem?!"
"Because I know you!" At this point you're both yelling.
"Well, clearly, you don’t know me as well as you think you do!" Lie.
"Why do you have to be so stubborn?! Just tell me what the hell is your problem!"
"Why do you care so much? Even if I had a problem, it’s my business, it’s not like I’m your girlfriend!" Bucky just looks at you with a face you’d never seen on him before and you can't decipher.
The whole room seems to go quiet as you two just look at each other for a few moments, then Bucky finally speaks.
"You’re right." he says, in a much quieter voice than a second before "you’re not my girlfriend. I just thought you were my friend. Guess I was wrong. I’ll go after my little girlfriend now."
You can't find it in you to say anything and, when you just look at him, he scoffs and turns around to make his way to the bar.
Slowly it feels like everyone else starts to go back to what they were doing before your yelling match stopped the party in its tracks, but you feel like you can't breath, let alone move, as you watch the spot where Bucky was standing just moments ago, tears starting to form in your eyes.
You can’t believe that just happened. Did Bucky really just say you aren’t his friend?
A hand on your shoulder brings you back to reality and you hear Steve saying "are you okay?" from next to you.
In all honesty, you forgot he was even there.
All that comes out of you is a broken sob before you turn around and make a run for the elevator, as fast as you can run in heels and a floor-length cocktail dress.
Steve runs after you, but there are too many people around that slow him down, and by the time he gets to the elevator the doors had just closed.
He waits to see where you would stop, assuming your shared floor but you never know. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and he pushes the button of the elevator, glad that he waited a second more.
When he gets to the roof it's so dark outside that it takes a second before he find you, and once he does he slowly gets close to you.
What he was not expecting was to find you sitting on the ground, hugging your knees and crying.
Steve sits down next to you and puts his arm around your shoulders wordlessly while you cry.
After you calmed down a bit he says "He’s really worried about you, Y/N. If there’s something going on, you should just tell him. He’ll understand…"
You think about it for a few minutes while you find a way to tell Steve what's going on.
"How do you tell someone that the reason you’re sad is because you love them?" you say with tears starting to form again in your eyes.
Steve can only stare at you, at a loss for words. 
You hear something behind you and when you turn you see Bucky’s back, walking towards the elevator.
It doesn’t matter how long he was there for, he obviously heard you.
You look back at Steve that has an apologetic look on his face, confirming your fear. Damn super soldier hearing.
Well, it looks like your friendship with Bucky is officially dead.
Part 2
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sciderman · 6 months ago
Note
Sorry if someone else already asked this but out of the Deadpools in any animated adaption which one is your favorite?
fortnite
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okay kidding, i've never played fortnite but i love watching him do the dances. i'll rate all of the animated deadpools i guess. all the animated deadpools that i know of.
hulk vs wolverine
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5/10 i think this might be the first animated deadpool i'd ever seen. and he's okay. i don't like nolan north's voice, really. i know a lot of people love him. i think his voice is pretty plain jane and his delivery is nothing special. mind you this wade doesn't have a lot of funny things to say anyway. this whole film is so very mid and so forgettable. marvel animation generally is really mid and forgettable. also he's such a scrawny little twink. i like my wades beefier. 5/10 for being one of the most ordinary, inoffensive, mid portrayals of deadpool ever.
deadpool (the game)
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3/10 yeah i don't know, i hate this guy. nolan north yet again but his voice is slightly less plain jane and more rocket raccoon here. not into it. this game sprouted all the worst interpretations of deadpool ever and for that it must pay dearly. three stars because at least his tits are massive. but i hate his stupid pinhead.
ultimate spider-man deadpool
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8/10 yeah he's the best one the west has to offer. sorry. he is. his jokes are funny. he is completely insane. he upstaged spider-man in every way a deadpool should. he's a scene-stealer. he has the presence. he has the hips. he has the thighs. he has my heart. one of my first ever exposures to deadpool and the start of a downward spiral for me. he loses two stars because DEAR GOD his voice is UNBEARABLE but. the episode is a masterpiece if you hit the mute button. i wanted to write a fic about him to flesh out his lore because honestly i'm really interested in this specific presumably teenaged wade wilson who was digested by the shield system and came out of it a mercenary. wade i was a teenage mercenary wilson. i want to know everything about him. i'm obsessed with him.
marvel disk wars
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10/10 he is SO cute and i think i'd die for him. he lends himself to anime so so well, and the japanese just know how to do deadpool. he's a spider-man fanboy and every bit the attention whore he's meant to be. he knows how to give his chimichangettes what they want. the crotch shots. the unrelenting barrage on the 4th wall. but he also has a good heart at the end of the day. he's everything to me.
marvel's future avengers
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10/10 obligatory, for being basically just a continuation of the prior deadpool but in a new series. he is very wife. the art is better but the animation isn't. but he's so. so cute. look at him. look at his gwumpy little faaaace look at HIIIIIM...
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the japanese do just know how to do deadpool. his sole motivation in all of these is literally just to hog screentime. that's literally all he's there for. he's just a spotlight hog. all he wants is attention, and for them to make cute anime figures of him. he's the most valid deadpool ever. i think.
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wandascrush · 21 days ago
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Starks ball
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Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader, Avengers x Fem!Reader, Platonic Peter Parker x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Stress, hunger, descriptions of female body, that's it I think?
Pt. 4 to my DIWK series
You stood frozen in the middle of the room, Wanda’s words echoing in your head. She knows… but what does she know?
The door clicked shut behind her, and you released a shaky breath, your heart hammering in your chest. You knew the risks when you were put on this mission, especially as a “new” Avenger. But Wanda? Wanda finding out? That’s something you hadn’t prepared for. The mission was already complicated, but now there was more than just the Avengers at stake—there was Natasha. If Wanda told her or anyone else before you had a chance to explain, everything would come crashing down. Lives were at stake. Your life was at stake.
You ran a hand through your hair, pacing as your thoughts raced. Confronting Wanda now would only raise more suspicion. But the thought of Natasha lingered, her lips, her kiss, the way she looked at you with that rare softness. You shouldn’t even be thinking about letting anyone in—this mission wasn’t about feelings—but here you were, caught between conflicting desires. Shit.
The next morning, a hard thud at your door jolted you awake. The clock read 5:30 a.m. Now who the fu—oh. Natasha stood waiting outside, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, dressed in a black zip-up and leggings. Meanwhile, your unruly hair curled every which way like a lion’s mane, your eyes heavy with sleep.
“Hey, Nat. What’s wrong?” your voice came out raspy.
She smirked. “What, I need a reason now to knock on your door at 5:30 a.m.?”
“Kinda, yeah.”
“Wake your ass up, we’re going on a run.”
   A groan almost escaped you, but you swallowed it down. If Natasha wasn’t so pretty, funny, and smart—and whatever, if she wasn’t your friend—you would’ve said no. But instead, you forced a smile.
“I was thinking the same thing!”
A chuckle rumbled in her chest. “Sure you were, Y/N. Sure.”
“I was! I’m dead serious, y’know.” You winked and started washing up.
Ten miles later, you collapsed on the grass, panting and regretting your early mornings decisions. "So, is this your idea of a hangout—or torture?" you gasped, trying to regain your breath.
“This is a rest day for me, sweetheart,” Natasha teased, lying beside you, her hands on her chest as she slowed her breathing.
“Good for you, asshole. Brunch?”
As the sun roasted you both, you noticed Natasha’s eyes flickering over you. Her gaze lingered on your body—your curves, your strong arms, your legs. The way your chest rose and fell with a steady rhyth,, the glistening of sweat on your breasts- she quickly turned away, mentally scolding herself. No better than a man.
Earlier, during the run, she’d run out of water, and you hadn’t hesitated to share yours. There was something unexpectedly sweet about that, and it caught her off guard. As she looked back at you now, Natasha realized how easy it was to talk to you, how natural everything felt when it was just the two of you.
Together, the two of you were refreshing. Conversation flowed easily, and if you weren’t careful, hours would pass by without notice. The food grew cold from how little either of you ate, too busy laughing, teasing, and genuinely listening. It wasn’t just casual banter, either—Natasha let herself be semi-vulnerable in those rare moments.
Later that night, after a quick shower, you were just about to figure out what to eat for a late dinner when the door to your bedroom beeped. Your heart leapt in your chest, half-expecting Wanda. But when the door slid open, it was Natasha. She leaned against the frame, arms crossed, her eyes searching your face.
“Busy?” she asked, her voice calm, but the tension between you was unmistakable.
You forced a smile, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “Always.”
Natasha stepped into the room, the space between you disappearing as her fingers brushed your arm. The air around you shifted. Her touch grounded you, but it also pulled you deeper into the mess you were in.
“I’ve been thinking…” she trailed off, her voice quieter now, her walls lowering.
Your pulse quickened. “Yeah?”
Natasha’s usual steel gaze softened, and there was no hint of a joke in her eyes this time. “About how stupid this is. Letting this happen.”
Your heart sank. “You think this is stupid?”
She frowned slightly, stepping back just enough to create space. “No. I mean…yes. Actually, yeah. Look at us.We know better. With everything going on. The missions, the risks. We both know what this kind of thing leads to. It’s too complicated.”
You wanted to reassure her, to tell her that whatever this was between you wasn’t a mistake. That you were more than friends…omething in-between. But the secret you were carrying tightened in your chest, choking the words. “Nat, I… there’s something I need to—”
Before you could finish, alarms blared throughout the compound, red lights flashing in sync with the shrill warning. Natasha’s posture instantly shifted back into mission mode, her eyes darting to the ceiling.
“Guess we’ll have to table that for now,” she muttered, pulling away. “We’ll pick this up later.”
You nodded, but the weight in your chest told you “later” might never come.
The Quinjet hummed as you stepped onto the launch pad, where Tony, Steve, and Clint were already preparing to gear up. You tried to shake off the tension, the ache in your chest, but it stayed with you. Natasha caught your eye for a split second, then turned to Steve.
“A mission this late?” you asked. “What’s going on?”
“Sorry, Y/N,” Steve said as he strapped on his shield. “We only need Nat on this one. Fury said he needs you on his level.”
Oh?  “Yeah, sure. Good luck.”
    The elevator ride to Fury’s office felt endless, every floor an opportunity to dwell on how complicated things had become. The familiar ding finally broke your thoughts, and you stepped into the stark, empty office. Fury was already seated, his legs propped on the desk, twirling a butterfly knife between his fingers. His face unreadable, as usual.
“Fury.”
“L/N. Sit.” The leather crunched awkwardly beneath you as you sat, the musky scent of his cologne filling the air and already giving you a headache.
“What about ‘inconspicuous presence’ did you not understand?” Fury asked, his voice sharp.
“Come aga—” Before you could finish, Fury slid three photos across the desk. You and Natasha, laughing over breakfast hours earlier.
Oh.
“You don’t think HYDRA agents eat breakfast? You don’t think they spend time in the city? You were out in public with Natasha.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think—”
Fury’s booming voice cut you off again. “What the hell were you thinking, Agent? One slip-up, and the whole operation goes up in smoke. All for some damn eggs and bacon?”
   The room fell quiet. A part of you wanted to laugh, maybe out of nerves. But Fury’s sigh across the desk was heavy, frustrated.
“This is getting too complicated. And I have more at stake now than I did before... things have changed. In the months I’ve been at HYDRA, I’ve only given them three useful pieces of intel. They’re getting suspicious, Fury. And impatient. You know that.”
He was silent. 
You continued, “And I’m trying to log into their data network, find their other bases but they always have someone in there with me- watching. It’s like they know…”
    Fury sat up, his gaze locking onto yours. “Are you telling me you can’t handle this? This is your operation, I recruited you specifically for this. You’ve fed us valuable intel…maybe even the most we’ve been able to get from the inside thus far. Hold out a little longer. I’ll send you another file to pass off—something useless.”
You swallowed hard and cleared your throat. “I won’t let you down.”
As you turned to leave, Fury’s voice followed you. “And Agent?”
You craned your neck around, one foot out the door, “Yea, boss?”
“Keep those eyes open.”
   You nodded on your way out, and the weight in your chest grew heavier. That insistent, intimidating Mr. Clean look-alike always knew how to push the right buttons. He knew you loved being an agent, loved SHIELD, loved the Avengers- this oddball family of heroes. The day he walked into your training grounds, dodging the blows and kicks all around him to get to where you were- knife throwing station- and handed you a sealed black envelope was a memory like no other. Being asked to join the Avengers had been an honor you didn’t see coming, but now, more than ever, you wondered how long you could keep this going.
   That night, after washing up and doing your skincare, you heard a knock at your door. When you opened it, Wanda stood there, dressed in a black hoodie and grey sweats, her eyes cast downward.
“No one’s here, and I need help with my hair for tomorrow… I heard you were good at braiding.”
You forgot the Stark ball was tomorrow. You gestured for her to sit on the bed, positioning yourself behind her. “Mind if I brush through your waves first?”
Wordlessly, Wanda levitated the brush over to you, setting it in your lap. As the brush found its rhythm, the tension between you began to ease. The silence, once unbearable, became perfect. Fifteen minutes in, Wanda’s head began to dip, her body relaxing. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep, her breathing soft and even.
You smirked to yourself. Not how I thought tonight would go.
You finished braiding her hair gently, watching as she snuggled into your bed. With a sigh, you grabbed a few pillows and a blanket and settled down on the floor. Great for your back, really.
When Wanda woke up the next morning, confusion clouded her brain until she remembered last night. She looked over at you, a small lump curled up under blankets on the floor. With a gentle flick of her wrist, she dropped the hairbrush onto you.
“Ow! What was that for?” you blinked the sleep out of your eyes, stretching out your stiff back.
“What happened last night?” she asked, sitting up in bed.
“You fell asleep, so I braided your hair. Then I slept on the floor.”
“And you slept on the floor because…?”
“I wanted you to be comfortable.”
Wanda frowned, but something in her softened. She quickly masked it, crossing her arms. “Well, you shouldn’t have done that. It’s your bed. Next time, just kick me out.”
“Next time?” You raised an eyebrow, peering up at her with a teasing grin.
“Shut up.”
“No can do. My room, my rules.”
Wanda hated how nonchalant you could be—so guarded, yet so soft when you wanted to be. And that contradiction? It was driving her insane.
The day of the Stark ball, the tower transformed into a dazzling, jazz-filled event. You slipped into a navy-blue silk dress, applied just the right amount of makeup, and made your way downstairs to join the rest of the Avengers.
It felt like hours of shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries with strangers, but eventually, you found yourself leaning against the cool marble surface of the bar counter, sipping on a cocktail when you heard the familiar click of heels.
“That you, Tasha?” you asked without turning around.
“Spot on,” Natasha said, her voice warm, as she approached. When you turned to face her, you were struck by how stunning she looked. Her hair was curled to perfection, dark red lips giving her a sultry pout. The pout you so desperately wanted to kiss again.
Her hand grazed your hip as she pulled you in a little closer. “You look nice.”
You didn’t realize Wanda was watching from across the room, her grip tightening on her champagne flute. You tried to shake off the heat rising in your chest.
“I know,” you said, your voice cool, though your pulse quickened. Natasha smirked, her fingers lingering. If you wanted her to stop, you would’ve pulled away by now.
“Don’t be sore with me, honey.”
“Why would I be sore with you, Romanoff? We’re friends after all.” But the tension was thick between you.
“Friends? Maybe it’s a little more complicated than that,” Natasha whispered, her breath warm against your neck. There was a slight push in her tone.
“Maybe. But you don’t like complicated.”
“Says who?”
“Says you, earlier,” you teased, gently moving her hands away before walking off. Natasha watched you closely, biting the inside of her cheek as she watched you walk away, ever so non-chalant.
Later, you found a quiet corner to sit in, trying to collect your thoughts when Wanda appeared. She swayed her hips a little as she approached—unconscious, but it caught your eye.
“L/N,” she said, sitting down beside you. “I just wanted to say thanks.”
“For?”
“Letting me sleep. You should’ve kicked me out.”
“Why would I do that? When someone’s tired, let them sleep.”
Wanda narrowed her eyes at you, skeptical. “You looked like a dejected puppy.”
You smirked, taking a sip of your martini.
For the rest of the night, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, exchanging small quips and people-watching. Wanda’s eyes occasionally flickered to you, admiring the way your dress fell gracefully over your body. You were still a bit of an enigma to her, but that curiosity had slowly shifted into something more. You were a bit annoying, but she was starting to not mind it so much. And you were starting not to mind her attitude.
The next afternoon, while nursing a mild hangover, you lay on the couch in the common room, sipping water when Peter flopped down next to you, looking half-dead.
“You and me both, kid,” you groaned.
He didn’t respond, too drained to talk. You nudged his shoulder. “What’s up?”
“Midterms. Been studying for weeks. Can’t sleep.”
“So why are you here and not at home?”
“I needed a change of pace. Plus, May has a date… I didn’t want to be around for that.”
You chuckled and dragged yourself up from the couch, heading toward the kitchen. “Hungry?”
“I could eat,” Peter mumbled.
As you started making tomato soup and grilled cheese, you caught him peeking over your shoulder, curious but awkward. “Peter, if you’re that interested, why don’t you help me?”
He joined you, and the two of you made a mess of the kitchen. Watching Peter struggle to cut tomatoes was endearing, and you were reminded of someone special.
“You know who you remind me of right now?” you said, a small smile playing on your lips.
“Uh—a kid who can’t cut tomatoes?”
“No, dumbass. You remind me of my sister.”
“Older or younger?”
“Younger. By now, she would’ve been your age.”
“Would’ve been?”
You opened your mouth to explain, but before you could speak, a sneeze echoed from the hallway. You recognized it immediately.
“You can come out now, Wands. I know that sneeze.”
Wanda sheepishly stepped into view, a flush on her cheeks. “What’re you two up to?”
“Lunch. Want some?” you asked, feeling a sudden urge to impress her with your cooking. As she tasted the soup, you watched her intently.
Wanda moaned softly at the taste, and your heart skipped a beat. “This is amazing.”
You beamed. “My very own recipe.”  Maybe everything wasn't so bad after all.
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scoonsaliciousupdates · 7 months ago
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3.2 Major
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sex, Bucky's past, people judging Bucky based on said past.
Word Count: 1.2k
Previously On...: Lily and Bucky went out to brunch, and she made her feelings about you known.
A/N: Eh, another part. Why not?
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
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You dragged yourself into the WarZone’s flagship storefront in Midtown a few hours later than normal for a Saturday, but you’d wanted to get a couple of extra hours of sleep after Bucky had left this morning. You honestly couldn’t believe you had been up all night having mind blowing sex with a man you had just met. 
Your first thought upon waking up that morning was that he had left in the early pre-dawn hours, but those fears were cast aside as soon as you registered the weight of his arm around your midsection, tucking you against him. Then, you were hit with the concern that he was going to think you were just an easy lay and decide he never wanted to see you again, but to your immense surprise, he’d asked you to have dinner with him that same night. You’d have to be a fucking idiot to have said no.
“Uh oh, someone’s tardy,” said your office assistant, Zadie, as you finally made your way into work. “You’re lucky the boss isn’t here to see you show up late, Major.” She grinned at you, and you stuck your tongue out at her. “Ha, ha. Very funny, Zade,” you said, picking up the pile of mail that had been placed on your desk and beginning to sort through it. “Good thing the boss and I are tight; I think she’ll let it slide.”
“Oh, look who decided to finally show up,” came the voice of the location’s manager, Rand, as he came out of one of the rage rooms. He turned to Zadie. “Either you or I had the audacity to come in three hours late, we wouldn’t hear the end of it.”
You rolled your eyes at your friend and longtime employee. “Yeah, well, come back at me when it’s your name signing the paychecks, okay, Rand?”
“Relax,” he said, “we’re just giving you shit for the fun of it. So what’s the deal? You have a hot date last night or something?”
“I thought you said you were going out to get drinks with Natasha?” Zadie asked.
You slid down into your desk chair, wiggling your mouse to wake up your computer. “I did,” you told her. “Wait,” said Rand, coming over to sit on the edge of your desk. “Like, Natasha Romanoff, our hottest customer? That Natasha?”
“That would be her,” you said, not really paying him much attention as you navigated to your work emails and took a sip of the coffee you’d brought with you to keep yourself awake.
“Oh. My. God,” Rand said, beaming at you. “Major, did you hook up with an Avenger last night?!”
You choked on the sip you’d just taken. “How in the hell did you figure that out, Rand?!” you asked, astonished.
“You had sex with the Black Widow?!” Zadie exclaimed. “Major, that is amazing! How was she? Oh my god, I bet she was fantastic!” Your friend sighed. “She looks like she knows what to do with her tongue.”
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you tried to get a word in edgewise. “I did not have sex with Natasha,” you clarified when the two finally let you talk. They looked at you expectantly. “I had sex with Bucky Barnes,” you confessed, hiding your face in your hands to hide your grin and your blush.
Zadie and Rand stared at you silently, their mouths hanging open in disbelief. “What?” you asked them, 
after the silence had stretched on a little too long.
“You fucked the Winter Soldier?” Rand asked eventually in a monotone. “Do you have a death wish, or are you fucking insane?”
“Major, did you not follow his trial?” Zadie asked you. “It was all over the news, like, four and a half years ago.”
You swallowed and shook your head. You most certainly had not followed his trial; you’d been a little preoccupied getting divorced and hadn’t been in a frame of mind to be paying much attention to the media.
“He was convicted for, like, a bunch of murders and crimes against humanity and shit,” Zadie said. 
You felt your heart plunge into your stomach. Of course, the first guy you really connected with since your divorce, who had blown your mind with his bedroom skills, was a convicted murderer. Of fucking course.
But then a thought hit you– “If he was convicted for all that,” you said, thinking it over, “how is he not in prison? I mean, he’s a friend of Nat’s; fuck, he’s best buddies with Captain Freaking America; and Steve Rogers doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to just casually chill with serial killers.”
“He got a Presidential pardon,” Rand explained. “There were supposedly extenuating circumstances. But, I mean, it was just sex. It’s not like you’re gonna start dating the man or anything, right?”
You stayed silent, avoiding looking Rand in the eye.
“Right, Major?” he asked you pointedly. “Just say ‘Of course I would not date the convicted felon, Rand. I value the preservation of my life’.”
“You said there were extenuating circumstances,” you responded. “What were they?”
“What, is his dick, like, magic or something?” Zadie asked, eyeing you suspiciously. 
“Among other things,” you answered sheepishly.
Rand threw his hands up in the air. “For fuck’s sake,” he shouted. “It’s like she wants to be a Dateline episode!”
“I just don’t want to pass judgment without knowing all the facts,” you told him. “Or giving him a chance to explain himself.” They both looked at you skeptically. “Guys, he just… He just doesn’t seem like that kind of person! He’s an Avenger, for crying out loud! Tasked with saving the world! Do you really think they’d let him join them if he was a dangerous criminal? Seriously?”
Zadie and Rand exchanged a glance, as if silently communicating that you’d lost your mind.
“You know what?” you asked, exasperated. “It’s my life. If I want to go out with him, I’m gonna go out with him, and you guys just have to accept that.”
“We’re just tryna look out for you, boss,” Zadie said softly. “It worries us.”
You felt your annoyance with them dampen somewhat. “I appreciate that, guys. But I’m a grown ass adult with combat training. I can take care of myself.”
“Yeah, but he’s–” Rand began, but you interrupted him. “I’m done talking about it, Rand,” you said pointedly. “Now, Zadie, I need you to contact the Queens branch and tell them to add the name ‘Peter Parker’ to our VIP list, no charge.”
Zadie nodded and moved to pick up the phone.
“And Rand,” you said, turning back to face him, “if I do decide that I want to start dating Bucky, that’ll mean you might see him around here. You don’t have to go out of your way to be friends with him, or even be around him, but if your paths do cross, I ask that you remain civil, please.”
Rand nodded. “If you can guarantee he won’t murder me,” he said.
You rolled your eyes and shook your head dismissively. You were going to have to dig in to Bucky’s history to find out exactly what he’d been convicted for, and what, exactly, these “mitigating circumstances” had been.
<- Previous Part / Next Part ->
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scoonsalicious · 7 months ago
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3.1 Bucky
Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sex, toxic plants (it's Lily, guys; Lilies are toxic)
Word Count: 929
Previously On...: You and Bucky were amazing together <3
A/N: The morning after.
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
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Around mid-morning, Bucky came walking back into the common room of the Compound, a spring in his step and whistling an old Big Band tune. He made his way over to the kitchen, opening up the refrigerator and grabbing himself a bottle of orange juice.
“Well, well, well,” Sam sniggered from where he sat at the dining table, eating a bowl of cereal, with Steve at his left. “Look who’s just waltzing home in yesterday’s clothes after being out all night. James Buchanan Barnes, are you doing the Walk of Shame?”
Bucky took a swig of juice and smiled at his two friends. “Not sure what that is, exactly, Big Bird, but I can promise you that I am feeling no shame right now.”
Sam and Steve exchanged a look of surprise. “Last night’s clothes? A smile on your face? No sarcastic comeback? Why, Steve, I do believe our grumpy little friend got himself laid last night!”
Bucky grinned; he couldn’t even be bothered to be irritated by Sam’s sass this morning, he was still riding the high of last night and early this morning. “Guys,” he said, coming to sit down on Sam’s other side at the table, “Major is amazing. She’s smart, she’s funny, she kicks actual ass. I’ve never met a girl like her before. I think this could really be something.”
Steve offered his friend a gentle smile. “Buck,” he said, “I’m happy for you. I really am, but don’t go rushing into anything, okay? You’ve only just met the girl. Just because you slept together once doesn’t mean you have to fall in love right away.”
“Six, Steve,” Bucky said proudly.
“Huh?”
“I had sex with her six times between bringing her home last night and leaving her place this morning.” Bucky flushed at the memory of the past several hours– in Major’s bed (three times), on the washing machine while his clothes were going through, against the railing of her balcony as the sun rose, and again in the shower. Hell– he wasn’t even counting what happened on the living room floor.
“You damn, dirty dog!” Sam said appreciatively, giving Bucky a playful punch on the shoulder. “Congrats, my man! I didn’t know you had it in you!”
Bucky ducked his head down in pleased embarrassment. “I told you, guys; she’s something. Something special. I’m seeing her again tonight; taking her out on a proper date.”
Steve reached across the table and clasped Bucky’s hand. “I’m happy for you, you punk,” he said. “You deserve a good woman, just be careful about rushing into things.”
“Well, look who finally decided to find his way back home.” Bucky looked toward the door as Lily walked in, hands on her hips and looking pissed. Ignoring both Sam and Steve, she glared angrily at Bucky. “Where the hell were you all night?” she asked accusingly. “First, I come out of the bathroom last night, and you’ve left the bar without a single word of goodbye, then I was worried sick when you didn’t come back to the Compound. Even tried to get this one,” she nudged her chin to indicate Steve, “to track your location data, but he refused.”
“I stayed in the city last night,” Bucky said, not wanting to mention Major to Lily just yet until he’d had a chance to ascertain if she was still pissed about their interaction at the bar last night. “It was storming; didn’t want to risk driving the bike all the way back up here in the rain. You know how these back roads get when they’re wet.”
Lily’s face softened. “I just wish you would have called me, or at least answered one of my texts,” she said. Shit. Bucky had put his phone on Do Not Disturb while Major had been getting towels, and he never took it off. “I was up all night, thinking you’d gotten into an accident and were dead in a ditch, or got re-captured by Hydra and turned back into the Winter Soldier…” She trailed off as tears began to form in her waterline, and Bucky felt awful. Here he’d been, out having the time of his life with the most amazing dame he’d ever met, and his best friend was driving herself sick with worry for him because he couldn’t have been assed to send her a text. He stood up and walked over to her, pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Lil,” he said. “I swear, I didn’t mean to make you worry. I wasn’t planning on staying out all night, it just sort of happened. Next time something like that happens, I’ll let you know.”
“You better,” she sniffled. “I was really scared.” 
Bucky heard Sam cough from the table in a way that sounded a lot like “bullshit” and looked up at his friend. “Sorry,” he said, hitting his chest with a closed fist. “Milk went down the wrong pipe.”
Lily frowned in Sam’s direction. “How about you take me out to our brunch to make it up to me?” she said to Bucky, keeping her arms wrapped around his waist.
Bucky wasn’t the least bit hungry– Major’d made him scrambled eggs and bacon before he’d left her condo this morning and, if he was being completely honest with himself, he was exhausted. He’d only gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night, and had had quite a physical workout. But he felt awful about having had made Lily worry. “Yeah, sure,” he said, giving her a friendly squeeze. “Brunch with my best friend sounds amazing.”
<- Previous Part / Next Part ->
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fbfh · 3 months ago
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Had to take this to the professional 🫡
We need more dad tony stark content (literally anything you got)
Literally starving
Thank you 😌
thank you for giving me more excuses to talk about this. Tony is such a good fucking dad in general, but he's especially great when you get sick. if you're in new york, he probably notices cause you're not up as early as usual. idk where this came from, but I can hear him clear as day walking into your room and smoothing your hair to wake you up, saying
"Hey pumpkin, sun's out." you only grunt in response, but it's not your usual sassy I don't wanna wake up grunt. It sounds softer, like you actually can't get up yet.
"You feeling okay?" before you can answer, he's totally on it. "jarvis, run a vital scan."
He rolls you over onto your back so he can look at you. you look... pale. you don't have the usual vibrance to your skin, it's gray and faded. you look like if you weren't lying down, you'd pass out. Your eyes are puffy and watery, your lips are chapped. You're not yourself. While Jarvis runs a diagnostic scan on your vitals, Tony also gets to work. he carefully sticks a microneedling patch on your arm to check your blood - something Strange helped him whip up, among many other ways to monitor your health without all that clunky invasive hospital equipment - as Jarvis gives him the low down.
"Elevated body temperature of 101.3 degrees fahrenheit, swelling of the sinuses, elevated white blood count..." Jarvis rambles on and on while describing your simptoms, only interrupted by an agressive coughing fit.
"And a rather nasty productive cough."
You look up at him and try not to get teary, you know crying will just make you feel more dehydrated and achy.
"Dad... I don't feel good..."
He looks down at you so warmly, and with so much love.
"I know, kid."
He stands up, determined to do everything he can to kick this cold in record time.
"Alright, your schedule for the week is cleared." He cuts you off as you object. "Ah-bup-bup-bup. I don't want to hear it. You are officially on bedrest until further notice. Jarvis, order out for some of that soup we like, some cough drops, and popsicles."
He looks down at you.
"You want ice cream? What am I saying, of course you want ice cream. Jarvis, throw in a few pints of Stark raving hazelnuts and bunny tracks."
He grabs the remote for your tv, putting on your favorite movie and has dum-e wheel you in a box of tissues. He grabs some vaseline and cold medicine, along with a fresh cold water and your favorite flavor of sports drink.
"Now. I want you to lay back, I want you to stay cool, and I want you to get some rest. And you're a Stark, so staying cool should be no problem." He gives you a kiss on the forehead, then stands up to move all his work to stuff he can do at home, and tell Pepper to cancel or reschedule the rest so he can spend the rest of the day watching movies and tv shows with you between naps. You can hear him muttering to himself as he calls Steven over to come check on you. If you weren't so tired, you'd find it funny that the only person your dad trusts to be your family doctor is also a wizard.
"Can stop aliens from invading earth, I can make an arc reactor that can fit in the palm of my hand, how have we not cracked this cold and flu season thing yet?" he mutters, making a mental note to discuss it with the rest of the Avengers at the next team meeting. you drift off to sleep feeling a lot better than you did when you woke up, and thinking about debrief folders titled Avengers v. Rhinovirus.
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aquaticmercy · 10 days ago
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The Future’s Overdue
Summary : A year after breaking up with Sam Wilson, he shows up at your doorstep.
Pairing : Cap!Sam Wilson x ex-avenger!reader (written with she/her in mind, but I don’t think there’s gendered language in this) 
Warnings/tags : mentions of violence and trauma, cursing. Mild alcohol consumption. Angst with a happy ending. 
Word count : 3.7K
Note : This fic was inspired by the song ‘Overcome’ by Nothing but Thieves. And of course the Brave New World trailer. That flight suit? Phew. When he sliced that truck in half?? Have mercy on me my god. I do have a couple of other requests for Sam but I have so many WIPs and series so please bear with me. Enjoy!
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You first met Sam in Washington, when Steve realised Hydra was growing inside of S.H.I.E.L.D.
It was the day three helicarriers got shot out of the sky. 
You and Sam were initially just two operatives thrown in the mission together by coincidence— and a little persuasion on Steve Rogers' part. 
When the dust settled, you found a strange comfort in each other, a kind of trust that only comes from people who've survived the same battles together. It was a friendship— one you had with Steve and Nat, too.
But Sam was unlike anyone you’d ever met. He was compassionate without being naive, funny without sacrificing his strength, and fiercely loyal without ever being overbearing. Everyone in your line of work fought with anger or a sense of duty— and Sam did, too. But he also fought with his heart, with a passion and a clarity of purpose that earned an incredible amount of admiration from you. 
But it wasn’t until after Sokovia fell from the sky that you realised just how much he really meant to you. 
The battle against Ultron had been brutal, a mission that left you questioning everything you’d come to believe. 
You stood among the rubble, surrounded by your teammates, and yet you felt more alone than ever.
The realisation hit you: time was fleeting. You didn’t have forever, and you didn’t want to keep ignoring the one thing that had started to matter more than any mission you’d ever had.
So that night, you sought Sam out. The rest of the team had been decompressing, recovering, but you pulled Sam into a quiet spot away from the others, somewhere under the night sky, where the stars glimmered faintly against the smoke. You didn’t say much, just let the silence and the closeness speak for itself.
When he looked at you, something like affection flickered in his eyes, a hope that maybe he meant as much to you as you did to him. It was then that you closed the space between you and kissed him—gently, like he was made of glass.
In a way, he was. This life was fragile, and his was one you couldn’t bear to lose.
After that, you spent as much time together as you could manage. Between missions, you’d crave moments of normalcy. Walks in quiet parks, stolen weekend getaways, breakfasts cooked together in your shared apartment. 
These small, simple moments began to feel like home, like the life you’d never thought you could have. 
Then came the Sokovia accords. 
When you and Sam sided with Steve, you didn't realise how everything could go so wrong. 
Your world turned upside down again. You became a fugitive, a person without a country, constantly on the run, evading governments, ducking the scrutiny of former allies. Sam stayed by your side, fighting the same battle as you.
Despite the danger, despite the sacrifices, the exile only strengthened your relationship. He was your safe haven, the one person you trusted wholly. 
One night, as you sat together in some safe house with peeling wallpaper and torn furniture, you dared to voice the thought you’d been carrying for so long. 
"One day,” you said, almost hesitantly, “when we’re done running, when all of this is behind us… I want a real life, Sam. With you.”
He looked at you then, his smile one of equal parts sadness and hope. “Tell me more,” he murmured, smiling just a little. 
“I want to marry you,” you confessed, voice trembling. “I want a house. Somewhere no one can find us. I want a family, Sam.”
For a moment, he was silent, his thumb brushing along the back of your hand. “One day. When the world stops chasing us,” He pulled you close, his words a quiet promise against your ear. “I’ll give you all of that.”
For the first time in a long time, the future felt like something worth looking forward to. It felt like something you could actually touch, something just out of reach but waiting for you. 
His promise lingered: that once you were free, once you weren’t running anymore, you’d be able to build that life together.
But then came the Battle of Wakanda, and the life you had both fought so hard for vanished in an instant as you were both erased from existence, dusted away by Thanos’s snap. For five years, you were gone.
When you returned, everything had changed. The world was broken and scattered, When you looked at Sam, you saw it, too— the realisation that so much of everything was gone. How much of the world needed fixing.
And you knew your Sam. He would want to fix it.
You saw the responsibility that had been thrust upon him. You watched him take the shield, watched him step up in a way that was brave and selfless. Everything about this was so unmistakably Sam. Your Sam.
In that moment, you knew that the life you’d dreamed of, the one you’d whispered about in the dark, wasn’t possible— not when the world still needed him.
It broke you, knowing you had to leave, to walk away from the man you loved. But you both knew that your paths were diverging. You wanted peace, family, a quiet life that had no place in the shadow of Captain America’s legacy. And Sam, with Steve’s shield in his hands, couldn’t turn away from the fight. 
It happened on a quiet evening, back in the small apartment you shared. The shadows were long, stretching across the worn wood floors, as the last light of the day reached through the windows. 
Sam was sitting across from you, his hands folded on the table, and his face was set in an expression you’d come to recognize—the one he wore when he was carrying something too heavy to keep inside. You saw it in the slump of his shoulders, the way his usually loving gaze couldn’t quite meet yours. You reached out, caressing his arm.
Finally, you broke the silence. “Sam,” you said, voice wavering. “Are we okay?”
He looked up then, his eyes meeting yours, and the sorrow there was enough to make your chest tighten. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I don’t know if… if I can give you the life you deserve.”
The silence stretched on, thick and heavy, until finally, you pulled your hand from his. “Then we have to let this go,” you said, voice cracking with finality. “I can’t keep waiting for a life that isn’t going to happen.”
The look in his eyes was almost unbearable—regret, pain, and love all tangled together, raw and unguarded. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick. 
“I’m sorry, too,” you replied, your vision blurred
The first tear drawn came from him. “I’ll always love you,” he said, his voice a quiet, broken promise. 
You looked at him, feeling the truth of those words resonate in your lungs. You would always love him too, but love alone couldn’t bridge the gap between the lives you wanted. It was heartbreaking, knowing you’d finally found something so good, only to have it slip through your fingers.
You stood up, needing to move before you changed your mind, before you broke down completely. “Goodbye, Sam,” you whispered, barely able to get the words out.
“Goodbye,” he murmured, holding back everything he couldn’t say. He didn’t try to stop you, didn’t reach for you as you turned and walked toward the door. 
You both knew that if he did, you wouldn’t have the strength to walk away.
In the weeks after the breakup, you tried to convince yourself it would get easier, that the pain would fade. But the truth was, every day only sharpened the ache. It was clear that your lives were leading in opposite directions now, that Sam was destined for something larger than either of you had once imagined. 
He had the shield, the responsibility, the weight of a legacy that he hadn’t chosen but that fit him as naturally as if it were always meant to be his. 
And you? Well, after retiring, you finally had the quiet, the simplicity of a life you’d always craved, but it felt hollow without him.
You still loved him, of course. 
That was the hardest part.
There was no switch to flip, no way to undo the love that had grown in the depths of your heart. And he loved you too— you knew that as surely as you knew that the sun would rise tomorrow, the kind of knowledge you felt deep in your bones. 
But you both recognized that clinging to each other, seeing each other, would only deepen the hurt. So you made the hardest choice, cutting contact to give yourselves space to move forward, even if it felt like cutting out a piece of your heart.
You would go through your days thinking about Sam, feeling his absence as a phantom weight by your side. Sometimes, you’d catch yourself reaching for your phone, feeling the urge to share a thought, a joke, a memory— only to remember he was gone from your life now.
It was a loneliness harsher than any pain you’d felt before, and you've been shot at and stabbed multiple times. Sometimes, you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too— if he missed you as much as you missed him.
Months went by, and the world kept turning, but you could never fully escape him. And then one day, you saw him on the screen. It was in the news, footage of Sam at the Smithsonian, standing before the shield as he laid it down, offering it back. You watched in stunned silence as he walked away from the legacy Steve had entrusted to him. He looked so different from the man you’d known—tired, torn, and full of questions only he could answer. 
Still, you knew he’d only given up the shield, not the fight. There was still that fire in his eyes, that drive you knew he would never fully let go of. He was still your Sam, the man who couldn’t stop helping others even if it meant losing himself in the process.
Then came reports of his work with Bucky Barnes. You caught glimpses here and there: videos of Sam fighting, speeches to crowds, images of him standing strong and proud, still doing the work he believed in. Each clip, each mention of him in the newspapers you read was like reopening the wound, bittersweet in a way that only true love could be.
And then, one day, you saw him on the screen again—but this time, he was wearing the Captain America suit.
The shield sat on his back, the way it once had been with Steve.
His face was calm, resilient, and he carried himself with a confidence that you hadn’t seen in a long, long time. As he stood before a crowd, addressing the nation, his voice rang out strong and clear. He spoke of unity, of justice, of how much work still lay ahead.
There was something fiercely proud and unmoving in his stance, as if he had finally found a purpose that felt right, a cause he was willing to fight for as himself. 
The people around you could hardly believe it.
But you did. You always did.
As you watched him speak to the world, you felt your heart swell with pride. He finally stepped into a role he was born for, embracing everything that came with it— the good and the bad. You felt a deep, overwhelming admiration for him— the same one you had felt all those years ago. 
The man you love had found his calling. He had finally stepped into the legacy he’d once doubted. And though he was miles away, speaking to millions of people, it felt as if he was speaking to you. It felt as if he were telling you, Look, I made it. I found my place.
It had been over a year since you’d last seen Sam in person. But then, you heard a knock—a familiar rhythm, one you'd both come up with in those times of hiding, a signal you’d memorised to mean ‘it’s safe to open the door.’
Suddenly, all those buried memories resurfaced. You took a deep breath and walked up to the entrance, fingers trembling ever so slightly. 
When you opened the door, he was there. 
He stood tall, carrying an air of quiet confidence that you had missed.
“Hey,” he said softly, that deep warmth in his eyes settling on you like it always had. “I know you’re retired, but I… I need your help.” He hesitated, shifting his weight, a hand rubbing the back of his neck. “This mission… there’s something I just can't figure out. Tactical consulting, just advice, you know.”
Your heart gave a painful thud, torn between the part of you that had finally let yourself step back and the part that had always been drawn to Sam’s gravity. There was something in his eyes, in the way he looked at you—was it hope? Regret?
“Come on in,” you said, your voice surprisingly steady.
Once inside, you cleared space at your kitchen island, pulling out blueprints and maps from him and laying them between you. The small counter seemed even smaller with Sam standing across from you, leaning close as he unfurled more documents. The scent of his cedar aftershave filled your home in a way that felt so heartbreakingly familiar. You poured the both of you a glass of wine.
It didn't take long for you to settle into the rhythm. Soon, you were bouncing ideas back and forth, memories and laughs slipping through the cracks as you strategized, just like old times. You caught yourself chewing on the back of your pen—an old habit that Sam had always found adorable—as you debated where each exit and entrance might be. When it came time to relay the guard rotation, Sam scrunched his nose in that familiar way that always meant he was uncertain. You couldn’t help but smile, reminded of countless memories just like this one.
As the hours passed, you felt yourself relaxing, dropping your guard bit by bit. You found yourselves laughing over old missions, sharing stories of close calls and narrow escapes. When Sam’s hand brushed yours as he reached for a pen, there was a tension there that you couldn’t ignore, something that had always been effortless between you.
Then, as he raised his glass for another sip, his gaze landed on the roses on your counter— a fresh vase of red roses, bold and out of place in your otherwise grounded kitchen. He paused, frowning slightly.
“Red roses?” he asked, glancing back at you, a surprised smile lifting his lips. “You don’t like them. You always preferred pink ones.”
You felt a small pang of sadness, realising that after all this time, he remembered that small detail, one that even you’d almost forgotten. 
“I didn’t buy them,” you replied, trying to keep your tone casual. “A date brought them over. A couple of days ago.”
The words fell into the awkward silence between you. For a second, you saw the surprise flicker across his face. “You’re… dating again?” he asked, almost in disbelief.
“Yeah, well…” You gave a light laugh, trying to brush it off, “had to fill the void you left somehow.”
It was meant to be a joke, but the words cut deeper than you’d meant it to.
He looked down, fingers trailing the edge of his glass, lost in a thought he wasn’t ready to voice.
You wanted to break the tension, you had to. “What about you?” you asked, forcing a smile. “I mean, look at you. You’ve got to be dating, Sam. Come on. You’re still the most handsome man I know.”
But he shook his head, his expression solemn. “No,” he said, his gaze fixed on the wine swirling in his glass. “I guess I just haven’t moved on.”
The words struck you like a lightning strike, filling the room with a tension neither of you could ignore. For a moment, the breaths you took felt too thick, too charged. You watched him, studying his face, seeing a quiet pain etched into his expression as he finally looked up to meet your eyes.
He broke the long silence, his voice low. “Is he… good to you?”
You let out a shaky breath.  “He’s… he’s alright. We’ve only been on a couple of dates. It's not like we’re… exclusive or anything.” You paused, trying to find the words to explain. “He’s a nursery teacher. Sweet, good with kids.... But nothing serious.”
Sam nodded, a faint, bittersweet smile touching his lips. “Good with kids, huh?” his voice was filled with an ache that twisted in your chest. “Just like you always wanted.”
You felt a wave of frustration and sadness rise up. “Yeah,” you replied softly, almost to yourself, before you could stop. “But he’s not…”
The words caught in your throat, but Sam didn’t let you off easy. He leaned closer, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that took your breath away, “He’s not… what?”
“He’s not you, Sam,” you whispered, the words spilling out before you could take them back. And you didn’t want to.
Something broke in him— relief, pain, and longing all at once. Without a word, he reached across the counter, his fingers finding yours. He walked around the kitchen island, sitting on the stool next to yours. His skin was warm as he closed the distance between you. His hand moved up, cupping your face as his eyes traced over you, like he was taking in every detail, every piece of who you were now.
You were still you. But you had grown without him. You had found your peace, just like you always wanted.
He leaned in, and his lips brushed yours in a  trembling kiss.
The moment he felt you return it— the moment he felt the familiar force of your kiss, he deepened it. His hands slid into your hair, pulling you close, desperate to feel you, to make up for all the lost moments he had to go through without you.
When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath warm on your skin. 
The kiss had left both of you shaken to your core.
Sam’s hands were still on your face, his thumbs brushing along your cheeks, making sure you were real, and that this wasn't just one of his dreams about you. He searched your eyes, looking for something to reassure him this was more than a moment of weakness.
“We can do this,” he whispered, his voice raw, almost frantic. He believed now, he needed to make you believe, too. “Clint—Clint made it work, right? A family, a life— he did it. He’s raising kids and still comes back when we need him. We’ll talk to him. I’ll ask him, I’ll ask him anything, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
He swallowed, his breath shallow, his desperation pulling him closer to you. “If that’s not enough, if this— if me being Captain America is what’s in the way, then I’ll… I’ll give it up. Just say the word. I swear, I’ll give it all up if that’s what you need. None of this—none of it means a damn thing without you.”
The words hit you hard, more sincere than anything else you’d ever heard him say. You saw the same unwavering love in his eyes, but this time it came with a willingness to do anything, sacrifice anything, to make room for you in his life.
It terrified you because you knew he meant every single word. 
You closed your eyes, finally feeling the burn of tears that you barely managed to hold back. You reached up to hold his face, your fingers brushing along his jawline.
“No, Sam,” you said, your voice shaking but unbreakable in its resolve. “You’re not giving up the shield for me. I’ve seen you out there. I’ve watched you bring people together. And I… I can’t be the reason you walk away.”
He shook his head, his eyes pleading. His breath came quicker. It was moments like this when you realised that he was human. Not a super soldier. Not enhanced. 
He was human with an unnatural resilience.
“But if this is the only way to have you—”
You can’t help but interrupt him, before he dug himself a fantasy so deep that he would struggle to get out of it. You closed the small gap between you, kissing him again. His arms wrapped around you instinctively, holding you like he never wanted to let go. You could feel the tremor in his hands, the way his breath hiccuped, so close to breaking. When you pulled away, you pressed your forehead to his, calming his silent pleas.
“Listen to me,” you whispered. “You are Captain America. That’s a part of you, and I would never forgive myself if I took that. But that doesn’t mean we have to give this up,” you added, willing him to understand. “I want to try again.”
He closed his eyes, taking a deep, shuddering breath. For the first time in a year, he was letting himself hope again. “You’re sure?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper, vulnerable in a way you’d never heard before.
“Yes,” you said, your voice steady, filled with a conviction you hadn’t felt in years. “I want you back.”
The relief on his face, the gratitude, was like sunlight breaking through a storm. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead, and then another to your lips, softer, filled with a tenderness you had missed so damn much.
“I’m all in,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I don’t care what it takes. We will make this work.”
As you nodded, he lifted you into his arms, spinning you around. For the first time in a year, your giggles filled your quiet kitchen. When he set you down, his gaze landed on the flowers once again.
“First on the agenda,” he said, smiling mischievously, “we’re getting rid of those damn red roses. I’ll get you pink ones tomorrow.”
You laughed through happy tears as he pulled you to the couch, the mission he had come to consult you for forgotten, even if only for tonight.
You watched him leave the blueprints behind to spend time with you, when he would’ve been obsessing over a year ago. This time, you felt a conviction that he was right— that it would work.
This time, he was willing to compromise. And so were you.
-end.
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siren-141 · 5 months ago
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shame on me ✤ final
sorry it took so long, I've been busy with vacation and school. I probably would not have made this into a four-part miniseries without all of the support and requests, so I thank each and every one of you 🥰 here's the final part/epilogue! I hope you all enjoy 🖤
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It had been two years.
Paris, Athens, Morocco. You had gone everywhere. Hell, even New York City.
That was maybe the hardest location you had stayed since your disappearance from the Avengers Tower all those years ago – what had been your home for the past few years. Where all of your friends had been, where Bucky had been. Where the two of you had built a home together.
Walking the streets, memories flooding back in every corner you looked…it was rough. It was rough when you’d sit on your fire escape and watch Bucky down below, look in back alleys and knock on doors asking if anyone had seen you. It was rough when you’d look out the window of the coffee shop you were sitting in, sipping on hot tea in the middle of a cold February, and watch Bucky across the street sit in the bar the two of you would frequent when you wanted a night out. It was funny though, watching him look for you in all your frequent places.
He looked for a couple of months, apparently. You hadn’t stayed in NYC for long after you had left the Tower, only staying long enough for your connections to make you a new passport and secure you a house in some other country that was far, far away. But you had kept tabs for the first three months of your escape. Bucky looked and looked, going from state to state and country to country to check out all of the safe houses. Following your normal patterns. But he never came close to finding you.
After a while, he had given up. He had sat slumped in a conference chair with this dead look in his eyes, everything that had ever mattered to him completely gone. His friends tried to console, but it never helped. He blamed himself for your disappearance – and he was right to do so. He finally came to understand that his actions bore the consequence of you leaving not only him, but everyone you loved, probably forever.
He went on missions and acted erratically, got drunk on Asgardian Ale every night that he could. His hair had grown back out, he had become more violent on his missions. Turning into a shell of himself, any reason he had to exercise self-restraint and maintain his humanity now gone. He thought he had healed from the decades of torture, trauma, and brainwashing, and he had: there was no turning back into the Winter Soldier. But he didn’t like who had become without you. Nobody liked who he had become. He was still a damn good agent, but too hot-headed for his own good. Too willing to sacrifice himself. He was on a path of self-destruction, and it seemed like nothing would help except for groveling at your feet if you had ever come back.
You, on the other hand, had it better. You had your horrible nights, of course – nights where you cried and screamed and regretted that you had ever left your friends and only family behind. You just wanted to go home on those nights, but you realized that your home wasn’t in that apartment with Bucky laying next to you anymore: your home would be on that 16th floor of the Tower, waking up every morning and going down the elevator to fix a cup of coffee or tea, never really leaving work since you lived there again. Back to the beginning. You couldn’t do that to yourself – you owed it to yourself to have a fresh start.
But those horrible nights ended about six months into your disappearance. You let yourself grieve a life once lived, but you also realized that you could be anywhere, do anything you wanted now. A true fresh start. You still had all of your aliases with you, but you only went by one now – one that nobody knew of. You supposed that keeping connections outside of the Avengers was one of the smartest things you had done, in the event that you needed to run. In events like these.
So here you were, two years later, sitting outside at a table in Barcelona. You sipped on your coffee, watching over the crowds in the streets. Teenagers out from school during the summertime, walking arm in arm with their friends, laughing and smiling. Couples with their babies, walking down the cobblestone roads with strollers. There was a time that it would have triggered something in you: thoughts of that should have been me. Those thoughts were long gone, though. They had been for a while.
You had moved on. You had moved on from fighting the powers of the world and living life as a civilian. Of course you couldn’t help yourself if you were walking late at night and a thief tried to rob a group of young women – that had happened a year ago, and you had casually walked past and brought the thief down with a few swift moves, before casually walking off in the direction of your flat. But for the most part – you had moved on. You stopped looking for trouble. You stopped being self-destructive and allowed yourself to let the happiness and the joy in of traveling the world under better circumstances than normal. Sure, you had left your old life behind, but you had also begun a new one. You had left and said goodbye to everyone who mattered, effectively bringing everything to a close and not leaving anyone hanging with much more than speculations of how you had disappeared.
Basking in the soft sunlight, you sighed to yourself, content with life. You brought the mug up to your lips, taking a small sip. Setting the mug down, you spoke.
“I was waiting for you to speak, but I was about to ask for the check. Didn’t want you to miss your opportunity.”
Natasha smiled behind her newspaper, having missed the sound of your voice. Putting the paper down, she got up from her seat at the small table behind you and instead sat across from you.
You smiled, having missed your best friend.
“It’s been a while,” she said, small smile still playing on her lips.
“It has,” you smiled back. She hadn’t changed a bit. “I’ve missed you, Nat.”
“I missed you too. We all have,” she replied. “I know you told me not to come and find you, and trust me – I didn’t. I never came to look for you before these past three months. You deserved that kind of peace – you still do.”
“But..?”
She sighed, taking off her sunglasses and setting them gently down on the table.
“We need you. This isn’t a personal visit, unfortunately. Only Tony knows that I’ve come to find you…it was actually his idea.”
You looked at her, almost in shock. A million thoughts flooded your mind. You had made so much progress, lived such a nice life ever since leaving…did you really want to go back?
“You don’t have to. It’s optional – we can find a way to do this without you. I’ll tell Tony that I just ran into a dead-end. Never found you – and I can leave, and we can pretend that this never happened.”
“What’s the mission?”
Natasha paused, hesitating to continue. When you met her eyes, she knew you were serious. “Our files. Our aliases, our covers…everything is in the hands of a man who goes by Typhon. He’s selling it to the highest bidder, which is every single enemy we’ve ever had and everyone who plans to be one. It’s all compromised.”
You thought about it. You didn’t have much time to think about it, though. You had a nice life here – nice and peaceful. But a part of you would always miss the chaos.
Raising your hand, you grabbed the attention of the waiter. “Señor – la cuenta, por favor?”
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“Thanks, everyone, for coming. I mean, it wasn’t optional, but you get the gist,” Tony spoke, voice tired and stressed. The room was dark – not the same Tower that they were used to meeting in. Since everything had been compromised, the new meeting point was an underground cave that was unknown to most – old railways that used to be for smuggling in alcohol during the Prohibition Era, now covered up with skyscrapers on top of them.
Everyone stood around, listening intently.
Natasha walked in, joining the rest of the group. “Sorry we’re late, the air was rough.”
There were murmurs, people sharing confused glances.
“Oh my god,” Bucky breathed out, the shakes coming back to his body. His breathing got heavier, his hands coming to the back of his head to alleviate the pressure. Some looked back at him, confused at his realization.
You stepped out from the shadowed corner, just a few seconds behind Natasha, fully suited and ready to get started.
“It’s about time,” Tony said, looking at you before focusing his attention back on the group. “You almost missed the most important part.”
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