#the few times i’ve been sick like this as an adult i’m always hit with such an immense wave of loneliness

[lady-harrowhark]

hands down, one of the worst things about being an adult living alone is that when you get sick you have to clean up your own puke. not in an “i don’t want to do this gross thing” way, but in an “everyone deserves to have someone helping to take care of them when they’re sick” way

[f1gridgirlie]

Back Home – DR3

word count: 2.5 k summary: Daniel comes back to Australia after leaving F1. Your years long crush and yearning for him finally gets a release. no use of y/n. warnings: smut, 18+, mdni, age gap (7 years), oral (m and f receiving), p in v, unprotected sex with previous consent (At least talk about it before hitting it raw guys…), cockwarming? Let me know if I forgot something a/n: I don't even know how this happened? I was sad and ovulating i guess. Lemme know what you think ! ____________________________________________________________

„And? Have you seen him yet?”, your mom asks innocently, while handing you a cup of coffee. You sigh. “No, mom. He’s not even back a week.” She looks at you. “Your brother and Daniel go to a Bar tonight, maybe you can come with them?” They WHAT? You shake your head. “No. I don’t wanna be the little sister again.” How could you explain to her, that since you’ve heard the news that Daniel is out of F1 (again), you could barely form a coherent sentence. Yes, you have loved this man for years. You have YEARNED for him almost as long. You don’t even remember the last time you didn’t fantasize about him whenever you pushed your own fingers into your pussy. Yes, he IS significantly older than you, but he’s always been in your life. Your family and his family are close and so your older brother used to hang out with him a lot. You always wanted him, he never knew. Well, up until 2012 that was, when he was off to Europe all curly hair, bright eyes and soon enough some braces. During the break, when it was summer in Australia, he came back. During a particularly bad night out, you, your brother, Daniel and his sister came back to his parents’ place. You were super tipsy and hormonal, so you took his arm and pulled him with you outside. “Are you going to be sick?” he asked mockingly. You sighed and turned around. “No. I’m horny.” you answered with more confidence than you felt. His eyes grew big. “So? What does that have to do with me? You’re a child and I’m an adult, I can’t help you with that.” Ouch. Adult? He’s only seven years older. “Not like it’s illegal.” You mumbled. He laughed. “It’s not like it’s right either. Look, you’re cute and all but you’ll have to find someone else.” You looked up at him. “Even if we wouldn’t go all the way?”  He stepped closer, leaning down “Oh baby, we would go all the way, after a few rounds.” and with that he walked back inside, leaving you at the verge of tears and orgasm.

The rest of the afternoon your thoughts are running wild. You have to see Daniel. He’s finally back home, and with his unknown future you need to seize every opportunity you can get. You told your brother that you would happily drive them both home when the time came. “You’ve always done it for me, now it’s my turn”, you smile at him. Their drinking and going out leaves you plenty of time to get showered, shaved, moisturized and ready for a one-night stand. You needed to show him that you’re a woman now. A hot, experienced woman at that. For the Drive you decide on a Mini-Skirt, a tight T-shirt and some boots. When you meet your brother and Daniel outside the bar, Daniel gives you a hug, before getting in the car. “Thanks for the ride. I’ve not seen you for ages.” You smirk. That was the plan. Your brother was fast asleep after ten Minutes in the car.  “Some things never change”, you say and chuckle. Daniel grins at you. “He still can’t handle alcohol very well. I like knowing what to expect back home.” What DOES he expect? That you’re still in love with him? He’s right about that. “I can imagine. Your working life was tumultuous to say the least.” He shrugs. “Yeah, but so fun. Anyway, how’s life treating you?” You concentrate on the road. “Not too bad. Nothing exciting has been happening.” Daniel raised a brow. “Really? Nothing? Not even a boyfriend or a situationship?” Wait, did he really just ask that? Everything in your body feels liquidy now. He gets it, the plan works. You try to play it cool. “Nope. Nobody seems interesting enough.” You pull into your Driveway and Daniel starts working on waking out brother up. “Do you want to stay over?” you ask him when he has managed to get your brother out of the car. He grins. “Actually, I would prefer my own apartment, if you don’t mind.” Oh. Great. This works out just like last time. “Yeah sure, I’ll get you there.”, you say a little disappointed.

“You wanna see it? It’s pretty neat.”, Daniel says as soon as you passed the many doors to even get to his apartment complex. A small hope starts forming in your stomach. “Sure. I want to see what your huge paycheck can buy.” Daniel laughs at your shitty attempt to play it cool. After he has shown you his impressive apartment, you’re sitting on a bar stool with a glass of Daniels wine in your hand. “So what do you think?” he asks, while also taking a sip of wine himself. He stands behind the bar, looking intensely at you. You smile “The view is great.”, you answer him. He grins. “Of me?” It feels like the whole world starts to fade away at the corners, only leaving him in full focus. God, yes. He looks so good. The tousled hair, his smile, his beard, a tight shirt that hugs every one of his muscles. “Yes, Ricciardo you also look great, is that what you wanted to hear?” you tease him a bit, while your heart starts working overtime and beating out of your chest. He slowly walks around the bar stopping before your crossed legs. “Actually, I kind of wished to hear something along the lines of ‘I’m horny’” He put his glass onto the table and laid a Hand on your thigh. Your mouth almost fell. He still remembered that dreadful night, where you acted like a fool? “Maybe I am. Why? Do you wanna tell me again, how you can’t help me?” You also put your glass down, uncrossing your legs. He smirks. “No. This time I will make your fantasies come true.” And with that he cups your face, leaning down and lays his lips onto yours. Immediately a moan escapes your throat when kissing him back. You hold onto his strong arms when Daniel wraps one arm around your waist and pulls you flush against him as his tongue starts toying with yours. Your brain is now empty of thoughts and witty remarks, all while your body feels electrified by Daniels presence. You put your hands under his shirt, feeling the slender waist and strong back muscles. This is everything you have hoped for in the last ten years. Daniel slowly moves over to his designer couch before he lays you down, with his hands slowly roaming over your stomach and hips. “You’re so beautiful. Your ass and thighs are what dreams are made of.”, he whispers against your lips. The want for him almost makes you go insane. “Danny, please, I need you so much.” You grip his hair to look into his eyes. They are dark with desire. “Babygirl, I have waited so long for this, I will savor every second of it.” And with that he pulls off his shirt and then yours.

With experienced hands he unhooks your bra, making your boobs spill into his open palms. He starts to suck and kiss your nipples while pushing his hairy chest against your stomach. You mewl at the feel of it.  You have never slept with a man that sports this much body hair. Ever hair seems to intensify your need. When his hand is under your skirt, slowly stroking your wet folds through your thin lace panties you almost orgasm on the spot. “Did you put this on in hopes of me seeing it?” Daniel looks at you. You only nod. “Every time I have seen you, I wore these. Got them with you in mind.” You confess. A dark need also takes over him as he pushes the Skirt up to your waist to look at the panties. Blue lace, on the corner a small golden number 3 is dangling against your hip. He leans down and kisses it before pulling the panties down with his teeth. “Fuck, I have seen a ton of horny shit in my life, but this tops everything. Did you wear that back then?” he asks while slowly stroking your clit. You nod: “I wanted you to finger fuck me on that porch so bad.” Thinking about it you feel your pussy clench. How many times have you masturbated to that thought? Daniel puts your leg on his shoulder, holding onto it, while looking at you. “I should have done it, princess. God knew I wanted to.” And with that he pushed his digit into your entrance. You grabbed onto his hair and moaned loudly. Fuck. Daniel chuckled. “I’m not even all the way in there.” But it was just like your fantasy. Better actually. With lazy movements he starts to finger fuck you on his couch. Within a few seconds you hear squelching sounds and can feel yourself basically pouring on Danny’s fingers. “God, you’re so hot when you’re desperate for me.” He mumbles. Then he leans down and sucks your clit into his mouth. The orgasm rips through you violently and you cannot stop yourself from screaming his name. The feeling of his clothed bulge against your tight makes you slowly come back to reality. Danny is busy toying with your boobs and kissing your neck. “Did you just go all fucked out and dumb for me?” he asks grinning widely.

You give him a little nod and start to palm him through his pants. He grunts but doesn’t protest when you start to undo his button and push his jeans and boxers off him. Eagerly he lays on his back to give you full access to his throbbing dick. The tip is already leaking. You try to fully savor the moment and the sight of a turned-on Daniel Ricciardo with your hand wrapped around his length. “Come on, I know you want a taste.” He encourages you to lay your lips onto his tip. You lean down, slowly licking his slit before putting him in your mouth. With one hand you try to pump his impressive length while bobbing your head. You’re so turned on, that moans escape you while your mouth is stuffed with his dick. He grabs onto your hair, giving you some rhythm. “Oh my god, you take my dick so well.” He groans. Even though his dick presses against the back of your throat, you can’t seem to care. His body, his moans and your hormones make you forget about anything other than pleasing this man.  His moans become deeper and his movements sloppier, telling you he’s close. “Fuck, if you don’t want me to cum in your mouth-“You tighten your lips more around his shaft and feel his load on your tongue. You swallow every drop happily, before looking at him again. “Are you ready for more?”, you ask as he pulls you towards him to kiss you again. He smirks. “Babygirl, give me five minutes, alright? I’m not 22 anymore.” Daniel sits up against the Couch and pulls you onto his tattooed thigh. A little shiver runs through you. Why are these Tattoos so fucking hot? You lean onto his big frame and soon he starts making out with you like you both were still teenagers. His hands back on your tits while he presents his neck for you to suck on. Under your lips you can feel every muscle and soon you leave little hickeys. With every one Daniel lets out little moans, which turn you on more. You start grinding on his thigh but within a few seconds Daniels hands on your hips stop you. “I’ve got something better for you to grind on.” He whispers before easily lifting you over onto his lap and hovering over his growing cock. “Do you want to use a condom princess? I have one in my pocket.”, he tells you being serious for once.

You shake your head, your brain still not operating normally. “I’m on birth control. If I get one chance with you, I want it raw.” Daniel grins again and pushes you onto his cock while also slipping his tongue into your mouth again. You can feel your tight pussy fluttering around his length and your clit hitting some of his pubes. You cannot hold back a moan.  “Good god, you’re taking me so well.”, Daniel lets you know also panting slightly. When you want to start bouncing, he holds your hips down. “Not right away, pretty. Try grinding now.” You hold onto his sculpted shoulders and do what he asks. Within seconds you know why he wanted you to do that. It feels incredible. Being stretched out by his cock and getting friction on your clit, he has you orgasming and moaning his name again within seconds. “Eyes on me Babygirl.”, Daniel demands while your brain barely functions. He cannot hold back the cockiest grin you’ve ever seen on that man. You slump against him, completely drained of energy. “Do you want to keep going?” he asks while also running his lips and tongue over your neck. You nod. He grabs your ass and then lays you onto your back without his cock ever leaving you. It all feels like a dream to you, still. With expert movements he starts to slowly fuck in and out of you, letting out little moans with every movement. His moans turn you on just as much as his cock does and soon you start moving your hips in synch with him causing even more wet, slapping sounds. “All this for me, princess?” you nod, not being able to form a sentence. “I want us to cum together, can you do that for me?” You don’t know if you had another orgasm in you, but Daniel would not let you hesitate.  While he still fucks into you, you can feel deliberate circle movements on your clitoris. Your hands fly onto his shoulders as you try to keep eye contact. “Close?” you nod again. Then orgasm hits again and you cry out Danny’s name again while you can also see and feel him cum. Your walls practically leaking with both of your releases. He collapses on top of you leaving you to play with his hair for a bit. “That was incredible. I have not gotten a fuck this great in years… if ever.” You smile. Your brain slowly starts thinking again. “This will give me material for my solo performances for years to come.” You can feel his dick twitch inside of you. Daniel looks at you. “No. No solo performances while I’m here. Call me or come over whenever your pussy needs me.” You smirk. “I’ll stay then.”

[nightghoul381]

Silvio 3rd Anniversary Event

A Beast's Dream Realized by Beauty Premium End

Returning from my voyage ahead of schedule, Emma showed me a faded treasure map.

I didn’t even realize at the time that this was a gateway to my dark past…

Emma stared at the map so intently as if she wanted to go, and the words spilled out involuntarily.

Silvio: “Do you wanna go to the island?”

Emma: “What, is that okay? I really want to go!”

Silvio: “How refreshingly honest of you.”

Silvio: “It’s about as far as a kid can go. It’s not a dangerous island or far enough away to cross the sun.”

Silvio: “It’s just right for an inexperienced voyager like you.”

(You’ve been saying for a while that you want to sail together.)

Emma finally has the opportunity to fulfil her wish, and the corners of her mouth rise in happiness.

Emma: “Silvio, I love you!”

Silvio: “Hey, I always tell you not to hug me outta nowhere like that.”

Emma: “I know you’re secretly happy inside!”    

            

(This woman…)

Silvio: “If you know, don’t go out of your way to tell me!”

Emma: “Wha… mmm, Prince Silvio…”

Half as revenge, I rolled Emma onto the bed, bringing our lips together in a deep kiss.

Kissing for the first time in a few days shatters all rationality, we lose all restraint as our tongues twine together.

(…It’s not every day you get to see someone so happy to go on their first voyage.)

The innocent smile from earlier tickled my chest and a slight ache followed.

(…you’re so different from me.)

The reason I first went to sea wasn’t for longing or anything, it was just an escape.

Silvio: “Fuck you, you old bastard!”

I grabbed a pebble that had fallen near me and threw it into the sea.

The dumb sound that should have been heard was disturbed by the waves, and the pebble fell without a sound.

Sitting on the sandy beach, I clenched my fists painfully, trying to control my anger.

(What did I do? I ain’t done nothing!)

(Which one of us is the kid, acting as if you don’t know me, denying my very existence!)

(The other guys open their mouths too. Compared to Valerio, Prince Valerio is better, If it was Valerio…)

(You ain’t looking at me or Valerio properly, so don’t compare us!)

(Hit your finger on the corner and scream in agony! You idiot!!)

Because the old man hates himself, the strange looks he gives me for such a stupid reason,

How good is Valerio? I’m sick and tired of being compared,

In order to release the pent-up anger, I would regularly come to the sea like this to vent my emotions.

I held my knees and gaze out at the jewel-like shimmer of the deep red-colored water.

(…..)

(…I’ve gotta go home.)

Just thinking about it made it feel like there was a heavy weight pressing down on my shoulders.

When I return home, I’ll have to face another unreasonable and suffocating day, which I can’t do anything about as a child.

I’d gotten used to it compared to when it first started.

Still, if I have the option not to go home, I don’t want to go home.

(I’d be happier diving into the sea and feeling suffocated. That’s how much…)

(I don’t wanna go home!!)

The old man who spits out he’s a kid in that way comes to mind and I angrily throw another stone into the sea.

No matter how many times I come to the sea, I will never be completely free of discomfort, anger or loneliness.

Still, I don’t know how to calm my emotions other than throwing stones or kicking sand.

(I need to hurry up and become an adult.)

The options offered to me now are too few.

Silvio: “……”

Silvio: “…Maybe if I went across the sea, I wouldn’t have to think about all this.”

I didn’t want to use my longing as an excuse to escape.

But even my bravado had a limit at this time.

After that, I rushed through preparations and went out to sea early the next morning, alone.

I had heard from adults about the dangers of the sea, but if I had said anything, they would stop me because I’m a prince and a member of the royal family.

So what. Who would be sad if something happened. No one.

Then I’ll annoy you to no end.

Such a childish rebellion may have been the main trigger that brought me out to sea.

I rowed a small boat out to where I couldn’t see the harbor, and when my arms began to get tired, I let go of the oars.

I leaned back against the luggage and closed my eyes.

Silvio: “…”

Silvio: “…It’s quiet.”

All that could be heard was the sound of the waves hitting the boat.

The sea was quieter than I had imagined and I felt a little scared.

(But there’s no one here to deny me or compare me.)

(…even though I’m lonely, I don’t feel bad about it.)

It’s a dozen times better to feel alone at sea than to feel alone among people you know.

Silvio: “Hmm…there’s something over there… an island?”

The shadow suddenly came into view and I picked up the map behind me and leaned forward to check it.

(Yeah, it’s a lonely island after all.)

(Just looking at the map alone, it doesn’t look like a very big island.)

(Often in stories, pirate treasure is buried on islands like that.)

(…Or I’m really asleep.)

Not knowing how to control my overflowing curiosity, I found myself reaching for the oars and rowing frantically.

I continued to row for more than ten minutes, but the island never seemed to get any closer.

(Damn… I need a break.)

(I thought it’d be easy because it’s a small boat, but it’s tough. It’s taking all of my strength.)

(If I’m going out to sea, I’d rather be with someone else than alone.)

(By rowing the oars one at a time, I can conserve energy and carry half my luggage.)

(…plus, I bet there’ll be treasure to hunt.)

(I guess it’ll be twice as much fun to search for the treasure as it is to find it.)

Silvio: “…”

Silvio: “… ha, that’s bullshit.”

Self-deprecating words spill out of my mouth and I pretend not to notice the rising bitterness as I row the oars.

(Even children know that expectations can be betrayed.)

(No one’s ever gonna accept me and only me, without any titles or ties.)

(I can’t do this for the rest of my life.)

Silvio: “Don’t push there you idiot!”

Emma: “Eh?

Emma: “Whaaaa…!!”

The uncomfortable feeling didn’t come until after entering the cave, when I remembered memories that I had completely forgotten,

Emma got caught in a trap and we were separated.

Silvio: “Damn, I remembered too late.”

I hit the wall vigorously and held my head.

(The treasure, the map, the traps were actually from me as a kid…)

(If Emma gets hurt because of this, I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life!)

(In other words, when you see a treasure map, remember it right away. I’m an idiot!)

(I’ll go to where Emma is for now.)

(If I remember correctly, that trap should have been connected to a spot on the second level of the cave.)

After taking a deep breath, desperately trying to suppress the urge to hit myself,

Running through a number of traps, I was able to join up with Emma without incident, but another problem surfaced.

The problem was exactly what I expected.

Emma: “Will you let us continue our treasure hunt?”

(I knew this would happen…)

Emma grabbed my cloak to stop me from leaving the cave.

Silvio: “I told you earlier, it’s a treasure I hid when I was playing as a kid.”

Silvio: “I don’t remember what I put in there either, but it sure ain’t worth more than a piece of junk.”

Emma: “Not to me.”

Silvio: Ah?”

Emma: “The treasures hidden by you are priceless, Prince Silvio.”

(I expected you would say that.)

(Because you’re interested in anything related to me anyway.)

That, for Emma, is what makes it valuable.

It’s more embarrassing than pleasing.

But it’s more adorable than embarrassing, makes me want to scratch my chest.

(You’re askin’ me to do something for you. I’m weak, you idiot.)

A loud sigh of surrender spilled from my lips.

Silvio: “Alright, keep searching for the treasure till you’re satisfied.”

Emma: “Thank you so much…!”

Silvio: “But from here on, no more hints.”

Silvio: “If you want it enough to beg for it, that shouldn’t be a problem.”

Emma: “Yes, I will definitely find it!”

As promised, Emma pushed deep into the cave, map in hand.

I followed behind her while hiding my uneasiness and worry that she may get caught in a trap.

I said it to myself, but I didn’t want to experience the frustration of not being able to do anything even though I was by her side.

~~~

After some time, Emma finally finds my childhood treasure.

It was unexpected, even for me, that I was so pleased to see her running up to me with a big smile on her face that I couldn’t help but be happy with her.

If anything, I was happier than Emma.

(Damn it… I was more of a kid than anyone else, wasn’t I?)

By the time we left the cave and reached the sea, the sky had turned a deep red.

Emma set the treasure box on the beach and looked up.

Emma: “So… Can I open it?”

Silvio: “There’s no way there’s anything important in an unlocked box. You don’t need to ask.”

Emma: “There’s always a ‘maybe’!”

I deliberately raised my eyebrows but crouched next to Emma, resting my chin on my hand.

Silvio: “If there is anything of worthwhile in there, I’ll have to give myself a pat on the back for understanding the value of things as a kid.”

Emma: “Oh, I wouldn’t expect that at all.”

Silvio: “You know what I mean. Come on, open it up.”

(Looking at the box, I still can’t remember what I put in it.)

(I mean, it really doesn’t matter.)

Feeling a little sorry, I poked her arm with my elbow to hurry her along.

Emma opened the lid as prompted and looked inside to find a translucent stone and a faded piece of paper.

My shoulders, that had been raised with tension, fell with relief.

(Thank goodness… No weird stuff in it.)

Emma: “It’s a beautiful stone.”

Silvio: “It’s an agate. You can probably find one on the beach if you look hard enough.”

Silvio: “The surface is so clean, it had to have been polished on purpose.”

Emma: “It think it was worth it for little Silvio at the time, wasn’t it?”

Emma: “Can I keep the agate stone?”

Silvio: “You found the treasure, do what you want.”

Emma: “Thank you.”

(It’s just like you to be that happy because of a rock a kid found on the beach.)

When I was a kid, I never would have imagined that the one who would find the treasure would be my future fiancée.

(The rest is just a piece of paper but what’s written on the back?)

At the same time that I looked at it, Emma picked up the faded piece of paper.

I watched her curiously, wondering if she was thinking the same thing I was, then she gently turned it over.

There, written in a child’s messy handwriting is…

“I’ll make you my number one henchman. Together we’ll acquire all the treasures of the world!”

“First Prince of Benitoite Silvio Ricci.”

My mind went blank and I found myself reaching for the piece of paper in Emma’s hands.

Silvio: “AAAAaaagggghhhh…!!!”

Emma: “Aaaahh! Don’t tear the paper!!”

Whether I wanted to steal it or not, I grabbed the edges of the paper. It’s a tug of war.

Silvio: “Shut up! If you don’t want me to die, let go!”

Emma: “I don’t want you to die or let you destroy it!”

But Emma was a cut above the rest, shaking me off and running down the beach.

(I knew I shouldn’t have let you look for that treasure…!)

(The reason I couldn’t remember wasn’t because I forgot, it’s because it was no good for me.)

(Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been convinced!)

I chase after Emma, but the sand is uneven and I can’t step properly.

(If this happens…)

Silvio: “Damn it, give it back!!”

Emma: “You said ‘do what I want with the treasure’, I also own this paper—”

(Now…!)

Emma: “Uwaah…!?”

I jumped up, wrapping my arms around Emma’s waist, and we fell onto the beach, sliding on the sand.

It’s not how I would have grabbed my fiancée, but I can’t afford to be considerate right now.

(Did I really want to go out to sea so badly as a kid that I would go to the trouble of putting this paper in my treasure?)

(Did I really… want a friend that much?)

I couldn’t tell anyone and still couldn’t give up.

This is a child’s silly little dream, hiding his hopes in a treasure chest.

Once I realized and admitted it, my heart became even more flustered.

(I’m so embarrassed, I want to drown, screaming into the sea…)

(This is just dark history!)

Emma, lying on her back, looks up at me.

The paper was held tightly in her hands.

Silvio: “Give it back.”

Emma: “…Understood.”

Silvio: “Suddenly you’re very understanding. What do you want?”

(This woman says things that are out of the ordinary, which makes me curious--)

Emma: “Prince Silvio, make me your number one henchman.”

Silvio: “…What?”

(What is she talking about? Are you kidding me?)

(No, it’s Emma, she really wants to be.)

(…are you really taking what a kid wrote in the heat of the moment seriously?)

When I was at a loss for words from the shock, Emma’s eyebrows lowered for some reason, as if she had remembered something.

(What did you think this time, busybody?)

Emma: “Since I’m your fiancée, can I not be your henchman?”

Silvio: “……”

Silvio: “Pffft…. Hahaha…!”

Emma: “You don’t have to laugh so hard!”

Silvio: “Of course I’d laugh, you’re making such a blatantly depressed face… Hahaha.”

Laughter spills out incessantly and even I can’t control it. 2613

When I look down at Emma, whose face is redder than the setting sun, she presses her hands to the beach to hide her embarrassment.

(It was a dream I had forgotten, but I can’t just dismiss it as a memory.)

(That said…)

Silvio: “You definitely can’t be my henchman.”

Silvio: “A henchman who gets seasick after an hour would be useless, right?”2618

At my words, Emma smiles dazzlingly.

Emma: “I will definitely cure my seasickness!”

Emma: “I want to do a lot more sailing and treasure hunting with you, Prince Silvio,”

Silvio: “You got my hopes up, I’m not gonna let you give up halfway through.”

Emma: “Of course, I’ll keep all the promises I’ve made to you.”

Silvio: “Ha, you would say that.”

(We’re both blushing, what are we doing?)

(… I look like an idiot, but I’m happy.)

The reason I went out to sea that day was to escape.

But without it, I wouldn’t have been able to remember my childhood dreams and accomplish them in a different way.

(No, if I hadn’t met Emma, I would never have been able to remember or achieve it.)

(Don’t try to make me like you when I’m already your fiancé.)

I don’t care if it’s called an accusation.

If I don’t put some tyrannical words together, I won’t be able to control my thoughts.

(…It’s probably too late for that now.)

As if admitting everything, but still not wanting to be noticed, I deceptively press my lips to hers.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Premium End | Epilogue

[thowawayuntilfurthernotice]

So, I finally watched Velma.

Before I go any further I just want to make something clear, no I’m not defending this show against criticism, nor am I trying to convince you that it’s some sort of hidden gem. I’ve watched all the episodes that have been released at the time of writing, and in all honesty, I think Velma is pretty mediocre. 

Not good, but nowhere near as bad as people are making it out to be. So, if you just wanted my honest thoughts about Velma, there you go, you can stop reading now, go back to whatever it is you’re currently doing. As for everyone else, get comfy, because this is gonna be a long post.

I wanna get the positives out of the way first, I genuinely like the show’s artstyle, in an era where every single “adult” cartoon has to look like Rick & Morty, this show stands out from the rest by having its own unique artstyle, that being said, Norville does look weird whenever he’s facing forward. But that’s a minor nitpick. 

Kinda wish the quality of the animation was a bit better though, but it’s an animated show made specifically for streaming, so the animation quality was always gonna be so-so.

As for the characters, I didn’t find them as unlikable or annoying as other people did - mostly because I never really had that much of a personal attachment to the Scooby gang to begin with - though if I had to pick a favorite I’d have to go with Norville, I find that his optimism and general good nature is a breath of fresh air, as I’m so sick of every modern adult animated series having every character be an unlikable asshole or a complete dumbass.  

Nevertheless I do agree that the “Look at how much of a loser Fred is!” jokes got old real quick, and I’m saying this as someone who doesn’t even like Fred. But those jokes weren’t bad enough to make me want to quit watching. 

As for the other jokes, they’re super hit and miss, I do feel like if the first two episodes just toned down the raunchy/”meta” jokes then the backlash wouldn’t have been so bad, because there were some jokes that made me chuckle, like Brenda’s funeral, Norville’s hair brained schemes to win Velma over, the school fighting tournament name being too long etc. But sadly, those types of jokes are few and far between. 

Oh, and the hallucination sequences are pretty cool. 

Now that we got the positives out the way, let’s talk about the negatives. I really don’t understand why this show needs a recap at the start of each episode. Did the showrunners think people were gonna watch the show out of order? Or did they do that because they were planning on airing the show on Adult Swim in the near future? Either way, it’s super annoying.

Also, I really hate how the show just awkwardly cuts to the end credits. I know Harley Quinn also did this, but it’s way more noticeable here. Almost like the end credits are trying to jump scare you to death. 

But I think my biggest issue with the series as a whole is its obsession with trying to be as “meta” as possible, it really got on my nerves, to the point where I legit wanted to yell out “I get it! You’re self aware.” 

Thing is, I don’t mind meta humor. Archer and American Dad are two great examples of how to properly implement meta humor into a sitcom narrative, but what makes those two shows work is that they’re not trying to impress the audience by showing how smart they are. 

Simply having the characters point out tired old cliches and tropes isn’t clever, it’s taking the easy way out. I honestly wouldn’t have minded this as much if Velma was the only character who was making “meta” references, but every single character does this. To the point where I was expecting someone to look directly at the camera and say “Are these self aware meta jokes doing anything for you?” 

Look, I get it, the reason why they’re doing this is because of Rick and Morty, a network executive most likely looked at the meta humor from that show and said “Do that for a Scooby Doo spin off aimed at adults.” 

If the show would just tone down the “We’re so meta” gimmick and put more effort into fleshing its characters and story out, then I honestly think it could be pretty decent. But as of this writing, it just feels like it’s struggling to find its own identity. 

Who knows, maybe the writing will get better down the line, but as of right now it’s a mess. 

Alright, time to talk about the “controversy” surrounding this show - because that’s all anyone wants to talk about - so here goes……

I don’t give a shit about any of this culture war nonsense, nor do I give a shit about these Twitter threads over analyzing every single joke, and I certainly don’t give a shit about Mindy Kaling or her political views, so why am I bringing any of this up? Because the discourse is annoying. 

It’s okay to just admit that you don’t like the show, or that you think it’s “cringe” or whatever, but all this discourse has become unbearable. You cannot go anywhere online without running into someone complaining about the show. It’s Ghostbusters 2016 all over again, and I’m just so tired. 

I’m tired of the internet latching onto a piece of media and creating never ending discourse about said media, I’m tired of seeing people who genuinely liked working on shows/movies get bullied and harassed. And I’m just tired of people being unwilling to say “Wow, this looks like shit” and moving on with their lives. 

Yes, no media should be immune to criticism, but going out of your way to ruin someone’s livelihood because they created or worked on something you hated just makes you an asshole who deserves no sympathy.

[purplesurveys]

1643

How does Chinese food make you feel? Full...? LOL how am I supposed to answer this uh. Chinese isn’t my favorite cuisine but I also don’t dislike it, and when my family and I have it I mostly find it an OK choice to have. Have you ever eaten bad sushi? (meaning, it made you sick) I’ve never had bad sushi but I have gotten really bad food poisoning from, surprisingly enough, a few sticks of barbecue. An uncle brought it as potluck during one of our family gatherings, and the effects kicked in (read: woke me up) at around 3 AM. Pain felt like the end of the world.

Have you ever read a historical fiction novel about the Chinese? No, I rarely read any fiction to begin with.

Have you ever been tempted to steal? No. I grow envious a lot, but I never really have the urge to just take something and run.

Are you for revenge, or are you for forgiveness? I’m for quiet, passive, and permanent rage.

What foreign cuisine do you like best? Indian, Malaysian, and Indonesian.

Were you born in the year of the Dragon? Nopes, I’m two years earlier.

Which do you like better: your American zodiac sign or your Chinese one? I don’t care for either.

What foreign country would you like to visit for your next birthday? I’ve always wanted to go to Thailand and I’m finally flying there in June! Not for my birthday per se, but I guess I can consider it some form of birthday gift for myself nonetheless.

Have you ever had pumpkin spice ice cream? I’ve never had anything pumpkin spice.

How old will you be on your next birthday? 25.

Are you a busybody, or do you take it slow? Busybody on weekdays, taking it slow on the weekends.

Do you wish you had more friends? Not this thought particularly as I’m pretty happy with the circles I have, but I wish my friends could be more outgoing hahaha. It took nearly three years to band my college friends together and even when it finally happened, we hadn’t even been complete. It’d be nice to see more of my friends more regularly.

What is the main character’s name in the book you’re reading? Phileas Fogg.

When was the last time you washed the dishes? Friday night.

Do you need to do laundry? Nope.

Have you ever seen a harvest moon? No and I’m a little scared to admit I don’t even know what this refers to haha.

Would you rather travel to Ireland or Japan? Let’s go with Japan.

Would you rather travel to China or Morocco? Morocco in a heartbeat.

What color hair would you have if you were a cartoon character? Purple.

Martini, margarita, or sangria? Margarita.

Is your life really that exciting? It can be; my work can be pretty cool most of the time! I like to keep my life outside of it super laidback and uneventful though.

Do you feel you are extremely gifted but no one appreciates you? I don’t feel like I am extremely gifted at all.

--

Do you have a specialty dish that you're really good at making? No.

What video games did you play when you were growing up? Grand Theft Auto because we didn’t exactly have adults watching over us, lol. I also loved the Spongebob video game based on the movie and Simpsons Hit and Run. Oh and Rock Band too!

Are you good at making big decisions alone or do you tend to seek approval from others? I appreciate advice and always try to seek them from either people I trust or people I know who’ve been through something similar. I also have a very rich history of making the not-so-best decisions so...to other people I go, lol.

Does your town or city have good public transport, or is it easier to drive? We have the shittiest and most uncomfortable public transport to ever exist and I’d admittedly much rather drive and be part of the terrible Metro Manila traffic crisis since I have the means and privilege to.

What was the last cocktail you drank? This gummy bear inspired cocktail from a nearby bar; it’s also served with vodka-infused gummy bears. I was super excited by it as I’ve wanted to try it out for a while, but it honestly turned out just ok. I personally would try another drink next time.

Are you good at keeping running counts and tallies in your head? Not really, I need to write or type it down in order to better track.

Does your country have its own edition of Big Brother? Yeps.

How often do you take a nap during the day? Rarely.

What social media platforms do you use? I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. Are there any foods you hate the smell of but like the taste, or vice versa? Liver. Under vice versa, longganisa smells absolutely amazing but I hate how it tastes. Every single kind of it.

Do you have a dishwasher? No. Idk any household that has one.

Who do you live with? Family and pets.

Are you listening to anything right now? Yeah I have a Run BTS episode playing in the background.

What is one of your favourite sitcoms? Friends :)

Do you make to-do lists? Yep, I always make a to-do list every single day for work; I fill it out as soon as I clock in and before doing anything else. Without it I’d be lost for the entire day.

If you could magically become fluent in any language, what would it be? Korean.

Have you ever tried vegan ice cream? I haven’t but it’d be really nice to give it a try!

What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? Siz, Madam, Mars, Mumsh, Mhie, Ate...the majority of these have local contexts that I am way too lazy to elaborate on.

What pet names do you like to be called? Like, in a relationship? I’m fine with your basic ‘baby.’

What was the best concert you've ever seen? Paramore, 2018.

Do you have any hobbies? Sure; going to museums and art fairs is one of them.

What is your favourite pasta shape? Linguine.

Have you ever developed your own film? I haven’t.

When was the last time you stayed in a hotel/motel and where was that? Tanay, last January.

What breed was the last dog you saw? Those would be my own dogs, and they’re a beagle and Yorkshire terrier.

Do you watch the Super Bowl? No. I’ll occasionally watch the halftime shows if I like the artist, but otherwise I couldn’t care.

What's your favourite Disney movie? Toy Story :)

What's the most stressful job you've ever had? My first and also current one.

What was the last text message you received? Something about work.

Should you be asleep right now? If so, go to bed! Not really; it’s only 9:23 in the evening.

[altheterrible]

My dad drunk dialed me. At 4:15 PM on a Sunday.

What the fuck.

He hasn’t called me since January 22, a few days before my birthday. He hasn’t texted since January 30, a few days AFTER my birthday. And to be clear, in neither of those cases was he wishing me a happy birthday--he called on Jan 22 to drunkenly cry about how he misses my mom and he texted Jan 30 to tell me he misses my dog.

I knew I shouldn’t answer when I saw who it was, but I always have the nagging worry that it’s an emergency when I see him pop up on caller ID, so I did.

Total waste of time, energy, and patience. Definitely not an emergency. The anniversary of my mom’s death is coming up this Tuesday, but good ol’ dad was so drunk he thought it was today. Idiot.

He whined about how he’s lonely, he’s bored, and he misses my mom. He whined about how it’s so hard being on his own now, I couldn’t possibly understand how stressful it is when no one takes care of you.

He said he wants to come live here with us.

And I just wanted to be like, fuck no. And also, shut the fuck up. You treated my mom like shit for your entire marriage. There were years-long stretches where this fucking moron was unemployed and spent all his time drinking, smoking weed, and watching porn, while my mom worked her ass off to keep food on the table and had a literal nervous breakdown from the stress. My mom wasn’t perfect by any means, but compared to my fucking useless father? She was a saint.

He doesn’t miss HER, he misses how she worked, cooked, and cleaned so he had the freedom to do whatever the fuck he wanted, which was mostly stupid shit like grow weed in our basement, hit on teenage girls, get arrested for drunk driving, get arrested for drugs, get arrested for drunk driving again, get arrested for drugs again, almost set the house on fire, and on and on and on.

He misses that she let him be a child until he was 58 years old. She cooked his food, washed his clothes, made his doctor appointments, and bought his vodka. She fixed his messes--shit like calling him in sick to work when he was actually in jail, finding a way to pay for bail, and lying to the fucking cops about the marijuana plants in the basement. He was coddled and comforted and picked up after for almost 60 years of his life, and now he has to grow up and take care of his damn self, and he’s so stressed out! Life is so hard!

He wants me and my sister to take care of him now that my mom’s gone. He wants to come live with us so a “grown up” can take care of him again. He’s been an adult for 4 years, and he’s discovered he doesn’t like it.

Me? I’ve been an adult since I was old enough to understand what poverty, addiction, and mental illness were. Since I was old enough to comprehend that my safety, my well being, and my needs were totally irrelevant to my father and a distant afterthought to my mother. Since I was old enough to realize that if I wanted to stay alive, there was shit that needed to get done and I had somehow ended up in charge of doing it.

No one has ever comforted me when I was hurt. No one has ever protected me from danger. No one has ever fixed my mistakes for me. I have always comforted myself, protected myself, and faced my own fuck-ups head on.

And yet this useless, sniveling drunkard has the nerve to suggest I can’t understand how hard it is for him, being on his own? Lol. The fucking audacity.

I can’t wait until I’m an orphan.

[lanternbbug]

Blogging again after 5 years-

I turned all my high school journals into ash, ripped apart all my old photographs, lost the passwords to multiple different internet archives that still preserve the lamenting teenage self in 1’s and 0’s.

So I find myself turning back to tumblr again, and for what? To write about accidentally spending $78 dollars at the organic grocery store, accidentally free bleeding in my sleep and ruining my favorite undies, accidentally letting life pass by me while I was on autopilot? All brain-rotted and frozen, all maladaptive and parasympathetic.

It’s September now, finally. I’ve been waiting for September for a long time. I want the landscape around me to die, I want the leaves to start falling and for the chilly mornings to hit hard. There are feelings that I’ve felt stirring up inside me, feeling I can only access in the cold wind and a 5pm sunset.

I’ve got bad bangs again, my face is broken out and I’m covered in hormonal acne. Like a sick, second puberty in my late twenties. I’m a few months away from 27 and I’ve never cared about again until I was so close from leaving 26. Late twenties sounds disgusting. Stuck between a young girl who who had too much taken from her and all the versions of the adult woman I’ll never get to be. I’ve put myself on the sidelines for a long time, but I hope at the very least this next wretched age will get me back in the game. I find it both sad and funny that the people who took my childhood away are the quickest to tell me to “grow up.”

My bedroom is packed into boxes right now, just 12 days away from moving for the third time. I’ve lost lots of trinkets and stuffies but I don’t really care anymore. So grown up. My partner agreed to move up north with me but everyone around us is painfully aware of how crazy it seems. All we’ve got is a beautiful 6 months, two Polaroid photos, and a handful of arguments from when I’ve acted crazy. I want him to meet the me I can become, any means necessary and that could never happen here in this suffocating southern sun.

I worry about leaving my brother. How sad and stagnant he is. I’ve gotten out before but I don’t think he believed I’d make it as long as I did before returning. When I came back I was a shell, like him, and we shared in the solidarity of sickness in this house. I wish I hadn’t lost faith in a God when I was just a little girl or I’d pray for him. I’m scared for him. I try to use my leaving to set an example for him, to show him the benefit of getting out but it’s not like he doesn’t already know. He’s frozen in time in this place, sinking deeper into it every day. I tried to get it through to him that nobody ever comes for us, how we need to save ourselves. That boy needs a lifeline and it’s not me, despite how I try.

I can’t eat bagels anymore. They make me sick. I’m not sure if I’ve suddenly somehow developed a gluten intolerance or if it’s the years of assigning moral values to foods. I’d like to be 10 lbs lighter still. Even after five years nothing has changed, I’m always looking to shrink myself.

[thecpdiary]

Mental Health Crisis at Terrifying Levels

Stats in England tell us the UK is lagging behind its European counterpart, when it comes to mental health. My blog stats tell me the same thing.

Writing helps minimise and place some of my thoughts brought about through anxiety, but external influences continue to play their part around my mental health, and I am sure I am not the only one.

The NHS is failing to treat 250,000 children with mental health problems. (Source: the guardian, 2023). 1 in 6 adults experience a mental health issue, such as depression and/or anxiety in England. (Source: myndup.com. 2023)

Mental health is hitting the most vulnerable. It's also hitting teens, the young, the cost-of-living crisis is also adding to our mental health problems. "The Rosena Allin-Khan Interview: "There is a mental health crisis and it’s only going to get worse" - (Source: politicshome)

We're not talking about or dealing with Mental Health

We're not talking about or dealing with mental health. Covid-19 has also changed the way we deal with mental health.

The NHS

The NHS is in crisis. In the last few years, the NHS has seen demand increases, while also coping with over a decade of prolonged underfunding. Earlier this year, many hospitals recorded the worst A&E wait times on record, with the president of the Royal College of Emergency Medicine, Dr Adrian Boyle, saying that up to 500 people were dying each week as a result of delays in emergency care.

NHS Staff Shortages

"Meanwhile, staff shortages within the NHS are increasing. Figures show that 400 workers leave the NHS every week and around 10% of posts are unfilled. I’ve never done a shift with a full team of staff and, often, we’re covering more than just our own job. This results in being overworked while putting patient safety at risk. Within the NHS, I have found that there is little support for those suffering mental health issues.

In the last 12 months, 52% of doctors have reported suffering poor mental health with burnout affecting more than three quarters of hospital doctors, on the frontline. There is now a National Physician Suicide Awareness Day as doctors are up to four times more likely to die by suicide compared to the general population." - Eloise Hart

The Research

Research has found that many struggling doctors do not seek help due to the stigma within the medical profession, feeling shame and guilt to take on the ‘patient’ role.

A 2-year qualified junior doctor, talks openly about her struggles:

"I know I’ve really struggled returning to work due to fear of how I’ll be perceived. I have to remind myself that healthcare workers are human too and it’s OK to admit when you’re struggling. I am due to return to work next month having been for four months. It will be difficult to return to work, but I am determined to speak openly about my mental health issues, particularly as the majority of us are facing the same." - Eloise Hart

Medical Staff signing off work, sick due to mental health

Eloise had to sign off from work due to mental health issues. Although she knew it would be hard for her to return to work, she was determined to speak openly about her mental health issues, understanding the majority will be experiencing the same. The virus isn't gone and many of us are still there. (Source: https://www.metro.co.uk)

Conclusion

The NHS has been in crisis for years now. In Covid-19 it's moved to critical status. I've been talking about mental health on and off my blog now for 13 years and even in the early days of writing, mental health, although it wasn't always being overlooked and people were reading my blog, I'm not sure how many were being proactive enough to deal with their mental health.

The bounce rate on my blog is very low, which means people are reading 'the blog of the day' but nothing else.

Also, in Covid-19 the world changed and mental health took an even bigger tumble. I wonder now what it's going to take for the world to wake up, for each of us to start dealing with our mental health. The stark reality is cancer rates have gone from 1 in 4 to 1 in 2, which means one in two people will get cancer in their lifetime. That has everything to do with mental health. I wonder just how many people will read this blog.

I've talked about mental health throughout my writing career. My blog spans mental health. I can't stress enough how important it is to start taking care of you, to start being proactive and to deal with your mental health. With 13 years of blogs covered, my website would be a good place to start, or check out and buy one of my books. They all deal with mental health. Our mental health, our lives are literally depending on us taking control and being proactive on mental health.

If you are interested in dealing with your mental health, my books are available to purchase on my website here https://www.thecpdiary.com/my-books/

For more inspirational, life-changing blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

[parasite-core]

I’m in a bad place.

I’m just so sick of this existence. I took off my stupid sunglasses for a few seconds near a window to clear my glasses because they were smudged—I didn’t even look at the window—and I got a fucking migraine within moments. Just for taking off my sunglasses for a few seconds. It’s maddening. I can’t exist. I get a migraine literally every day because the light from the window in the kitchen when I make my tea triggers it, or the light from the windows in the living room on the way to the kitchen. Literally the only safe place for me to exist is my bedroom, where I have blackout curtains drawn 24/7. It’s such a depressing awful existence. I manage to go to my friends’ house on weekends to play pathfinder but that’s out of sheer stubbornness than anything else, I would move a mountain to play a single session of pathfinder, and it’s the thing I look forward to most on the week. It’s hit or miss on whether or not I get a migraine going there—I wear my dark sunglasses to go to their house so that often works to protect me but not always. I guess I could try wearing my dark glasses in the kitchen in the morning, but you’re technically not supposed to wear dark glasses indoors, because it’ll make photophobia worse over time. And I don’t need to make my issues worse. But also I can’t keep using my migraine medicine daily. I’m going to run out long before I can get a refill with how much I’ve been relying on it.

I just…hate it here, in this body, always in pain. I try not to complain about it often because I’m hardly the person with the worst disability in the world, and I have supportive people in my life unlike some people, but some days I just can’t stand it. I just want to not be in pain. I just want to be able to go outside, and go places again. I want to be able to drive myself places instead of relying on my partner. I want to work my regular work schedule and not wonder if trying to stick to an ‘adult’ sleep schedule will make my head feel like it’s being hammered out of my ears all day. I want to be able to watch more than one episode of tv shows and not worry about it triggering a migraine.

I just want my life back.

[scramblesscribbles]

I- look I hate discourse, and I really don’t want to fight, but please tell me someone else sees the inherent contradiction???? Y’all are seriously out here going “Fuck I hate DC and how it always tears the other robins down to build up Tim Drake.” Then you show a very neutral panel that implies very neutral things about the other robins for proof and proceed to absolutely rip Tim to shreds to build the others up. Don’t get me wrong you can be a hypocrite and still be right but again, these are very neutral statements to the point you have to be trying to read them in an aggressive way. “Dick always went off book.” Inherently, all this means is he was creative and thought on his feet. “There was no book.” Sure maybe, but he did have training and I’m sure part of the basic standards to let him out was a few malleable team moves. And he can still “go off book” if he was writing the book, just means he was trying new things. But to Bruce, who thinks and considers things in a very structured, rigid way as part of his neurodivergence, this would still be notable and a defining part of his style. Isn’t the whole base of their relationship the fact Dick was too free spirited to fit into Bruce’s neat little boxes and the strain nearly tore them apart? “Jason hated practicing them.” This does not mean he did not practice them. I hated math and I still went to my classes in school. It probably implied he hated the monotony, or how many times B made him practice them before he hit that high ass standard of perfection. For a workaholic like Bruce, normal preteen grumpiness over doing the same damn thing for hours straight would also be noticeable. And even then! This in no way is saying “this is the most defining aspects of Dick and Jason as robins” it’s saying “in the specific topic of team exercises, Tim has always been the most regular and easy to predict.” Sure, it’s probably nicer on B’s autism (I would know) but its not inherently better then the other options. “He loved the teamwork” additionally is also very neutral. Tim wasn’t as lonely a kid as fandom often makes him sure, but he did lack stable, present parents until he became Robin and the Waynes started to like him. Maybe he just liked feeling like he finally had enough of a rapport with an adult to be able to move in sinc like that. Neglected kids, we latch on to weird things, I get weirdly emotional over people remembering what I’ve said or seeing my things in someone else’s space and being able to know theyre safe there. “Tim was just fucking off and doing whatever he wanted half the time.” Yeah, you’re right. All the more reasons he wouldn’t be fighting with Bruce for long enough straight periods to bother with editing team-up moves for his better comfort. His Robin was so loosely connected to batman half the time that it was different skills he needed to focus on. Excuse him if he wasn’t consumed with the thought of better team ups when he was trying to figure out how to reliably get out of “fuck off we’re sick of you” boarding school without getting caught.

Look, is Tim a bit overused and the writers a touch too nostalgic for growing up with him? Absolutely, but y’all can just say that instead of bending yourselves out of shape trying to come up with reasons he was a terrible sucky no good very bad robin or whatever. Isn’t that what got Jason killed? Lol.

Hey DC, ever thought of idk...not always putting the other robins down to praise Tim. It only makes me dislike him more. Thanks.

[abbatoirablaze]

Big Bad Wolf, Chapter 5

Word Count:  1.5k

Warnings:  being drugged/drink spiked, mentions of grooming, slight angst, manipulation, jealousy

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Jacob said defensively, “I was just trying to help her upstairs.  She’s drunk.  I mean, I’m sure all of you can see that.  Hell, ask, (Y/N)!  She’s been sipping on the eggnog that Mr. Levinson made all night.”

Your dad and Andy looked at you as they all stood outside trying to figure it out.  You had fallen unconscious, and Lloyd had scooped you up, so that he was holding you bridal style close to his chest.  You had managed to tuck your face against his neck; your light snores sending a shiver up and down his spine as your lips brushed over his throat.

“She’s beyond plastered,” Lloyd said quickly, coming to both your defense and the younger Barber’s destruction, “Barnes heard her.  She was mumbling that your son was trying to trick her into taking her virginity.  He was trying to get her to go upstairs.  She didn’t want to go upstairs with him and she was begging me not to make her.”

“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you!” Jacob spat, “you’re a god damn angel, aren’t you, Lloyd?”

“What’s that supposed to mean, huh,  you little shit?”

“You sick fucks have been grooming the girls in the development for years!” he said firmly, glaring at the half circle of older men, including his father, “(Y/D/N) has been secretly seeing Joyce’s daughter while she’s off at college for two years now.  Mike was seeing Ashley, but that fell apart when she found someone her own age in one of my frat brothers.  You’ve been going after Viv since she was sixteen, dad.  And you.  You’re trying to steal my girlfriend out from under me with the help of psycho robocop and the rest of them.”

“We’re not grooming anyone!” your dad said firmly, “Tammy and I hit it off at the summer barbecue a few years ago, and she asked me on a date.  (Y/N) doesn’t even know that I’ve been seeing her.”

“And Mike and Ashley didn’t work out because of their age, which you already pointed out,” Lloyd said smugly.  You shifted in his arms, whimpering, and he frowned, lowering his voice, “you little jackass.  We’re not grooming anyone.  Relationships happen with adults, Jacob.  It’s more than just people gaslighting their significant others.”

“And I’m not grooming anyone either,” Andy began, his own anger rising when he looked at his son, “your little friend Viv is the one always coming up to me.  I’m polite, but I don’t engage her antics.  You say that I’m chasing her down, but I’m not.  I’ve turned down every come-on she throws at me!  And you know it!”

“You’re all sick,” Jacob growled, not wanting to listen to it, “I’ve heard the way you talk about all of them.  You’re d-“

“Doing what?  Talking!” Andy seethed, glaring at his son, “yes, we talk about them…they’re women and they have obvious interests in us, so we discuss it.  But that’s it. It’s just words, Jacob.  What you’re doing is real-life actions.  You spiked your girlfriend’s drinks in the hopes that she’d sleep with you!  Is that something that you’re learning is an okay thing to do while you’re away at school?”

“He’s lying!”  

“She’s not even coherent right now, Jacob!  We all know she wouldn’t drink on her own!”

“Oh yeah, because she’s so innocent!”

“Don’t go turning this around on her, you little shit!  (Y/N) is a good girl, and she doesn’t go out doing things to be spiteful like you do.  She’s always giving up her time, offering to help someone in the neighborhood,” your dad growled at Jacob.  He took a few steps towards him, but Andy stepped between the two of them, “come on Andy, let the kid finally fight his battles.  He’s nineteen.  He’s not a child anymore.”

“(Y/D/N).”

“I’m not going to let him talk about my little girl like she’s some trashy whore,” he seethed, glaring at the younger man, “he wants to pick some fights, well that’s fine with me.  Let him fight me, Andy.”

“I’ll kick your ass, old man!”

“HEY!” Andy said quickly, “the two of you need to stop.  Now.  We’re not going to be fighting.  No one is going to be fighting.”

“Everyone needs to cool off,” Lloyd agreed looking at the rest of the men, “(Y/D/N) I’m going to take (Y/N) home and get her tucked in.  Andy…you should probably take Jacob home.”

“I’m not leaving my girlfriend alone with you, you sick fuck!”

“Jacob!”

Jacob glared at Andy for a few moments before turning his attention towards his unconscious girlfriend.  He gave a heavy sigh and turned on his heel, heading back towards his dad’s house.  Andy looked at your dad, “I’m sorry (Y/D/N)…I-I’ll talk to him in the morning.  He’s drunk. Don’t take too much of what he said to heart.  I don’t know what’s gotten into him since I dropped him off at school.”

Your dad nodded and Andy followed Jacob into the house.  Then your dad looked at Lloyd, “thanks for being there, Lloyd…I know that (Y/N) is grateful even though she’s not sure of what’s going on.  She obviously felt like she could reach out to you when she asked for your help in the first place, and I’m glad that you were there to help her.”

“Shouldn’t have done that…” Lloyd shrugged, referring to Jacob, “what that little punk did is wrong on so many levels.  I know Andy is our friend, but I hope that both of you have a sit-down conversation with him.  As for me, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to be there to help.”

“Well, I’m grateful for it regardless.”

Lloyd nodded his head towards your house, “wanna unlock the door so I can tuck her away for the night?  I know Tammy is probably going to show up soon, right?”

Your dad nodded, “we’re going to go for an evening drive to see the lit-up houses on Elm…”

“I got (Y/N).”

Your dad smiled once more and allowed Lloyd into the house, before seeing his girlfriend pull up.  He was quick to get into her car, leaving you and Lloyd alone in your house. 

The older man made his way up to your bedroom, and gently went to let you down on the bed, but you clung to him, you face burying itself in his chest, “don’t let go.”

“You’re home (Y/N)…you don’t have to worry about Jacob…y-“

“Don’t leave!” you begged yet again, “want to stay with you.”

“I can stay until you fall asleep,” he offered.  You whimpered, clinging to him again, but now your legs wrapped around his lithe waist.  He felt a shiver run up his spine about the compromising position he was now in.  He could feel the warmth of your clothed core against his own pelvis, “(Y/N).”

“I wanna lose it to you, Mr. Hansen.”

Lloyd’s eyes widened as the words sunk in, “wh-what?”

“I want to lose my virginity to you,” you mumbled, your hips rolling to meet his once more.  Lloyd closed his eyes in an attempt to collect himself.  He knew that you were beyond blackout drunk, but the way you felt against him felt all too riight, “so sweet…and nice…and cute…I wanna ride your face…and then I want you to fuck me silly!”

“Sweetheart, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Wanna feel those big strong hands squeezing my ass…wanna feel this!” you giggled, your hand going between your bodies so that you could stroke his half-hard cock before cupping his balls, “wanna feel you empty those big heavy balls in me!”

Lloyd took a shaky breath as he unhooked your legs from his waist, “you don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetheart…y-you’re drunk.”

“Drunk off my lust for you!” you replied drunkenly as you sat up, “god you’re so pretty Mr. Hansen…I bet you’d make pretty babies…we’d make such pretty babies together.”

“(Y/N)…”

“I wanna suck your cock,” you whimpered, trying to crawl to him on his hands and knees.  The older man watched as your hands fumbled with his chinos for a moment before he took a step back, pushing your hands away from him.  You were all over the place, and not at all in a right state of mind.  But you pouted at him when he backed off, “please, Mr. Hansen?  I won’t tell…god…I just…I want you so bad.”

“You don’t want me,” he said quickly as he shook his head, “you’re drunk, sweetheart.  You just want to fuck someone or something…I’m a broken ma-“

But he was cut off when your lips met his.  Instinctively, his eyes fluttered closed, and he took a step forward towards you.  His resolve was crumbling quicker than he ever wanted to admit, and he knew that if he did it and followed through, he wouldn’t be able to keep up his charade, but then he backed up once more, “I-I can’t do this.  We can’t do this, (Y/N.)  You’re drunk.  This-this is wrong!”

“I want you,” you whimpered softly, “d-don’t you want me, Mr. Hansen?”

“Fuck…of course I do!” he admitted, “but not like this…I-I’m married, (Y/N).  You’re drunk.  This-this isn’t how I wanted this to go!  This isn’t h-”

“Tell me what to do,” you begged, cutting him off in a desperate plea to him, “I-I’ll do whatever you want!”

“You need to go to sleep,” he practically begged in response, “I-and I need to leave.”

 

Chapter 6

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @buckysteveloki-me, @eralen, @chemtrails-club, @bean-is-reading

[clairecrive]

Hello beautiful person! Do you take requests which ask you to write a second chapter for your writings? If you do, may I ask a second chapter for "Rare"? And if you don't could you please let me know so I can be careful for another time when I ask a request?

I hope this is not something that disturbes or irritates you. I love your writing, it is beautiful and sometimes I read your pieces over and over again. 😁

Thanks for blessing us with your writing. Have a nice day.💕

A/n: First of all anon, thank you so very much for your sweet words! They mean the world to me <3 Also, your request could never irritate me! I love them and I love the fact that you consider me half a decent writer enough to send me your thoughts <3 I'm sorry it took me so long to get around this but I hope you like this and are still around to read it x

I've decided to pair it with a request for juicy time with Eddie. there's no actual smut but it's suggestive let's say.

Warnings: bit of angst, fluff,

Word count: 2.4K

Tags: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner, @for-bebbanburg, @crazyclownchick ( fill in this form to be added to my taglist)

Part 1

TOM HARDY MASTERLIST

You weren't exactly new to heartbreak. You had been a teenager after all but your experience with adult relationships had not been that good either.

You knew that you'd be over Eddie even if it may take you some time. It's true that you had only been dating for a few months but you had really grown attached to him. It was one of the things you hated about yourself: the way you got attached way too soon, way too much.

Especially, in this case, seeing as Eddie hadn't been 100% in it in the beginning you had hoped that the more time you'd spend together, he'd see that you weren't so bad and that he'd grow to care for you. At least a little bit.

Turns out you were wrong.

As much as you hated being wrong, the thing that hurt you the most was that despite your best efforts, Eddie still didn't think you were enough for him. And how could you be when the benchmark was perfect Anne?

You stood no chance. You had been a fool for even trying. And now you were experiencing the burn for your foolishness.

This had happened often enough that you had developed a routine for dealing with heartbreak:

1) crying your heart out and indulging your sadness with whatever helped (mostly comfort food and Friends)

2) enough with indulging, it was time to pick yourself up. No more overeating although you still allowed yourself to cry if you felt like it

3) "I don't need him anyway" phase where you'd make a mental list of how your life was before and after whoever you had broken up with to remind you that they weren't as important as you made them out to be

4)"put yourself out there again" phase where you started going out again with the intention of meeting new people or simply having a good time.

As of this time, you were in phase 3. You noticed that there were some of Eddie's things littering around your apartment. So, you picked up a box and collected them with the intention of returning them to him, effectively closing this chapter. As you did, you made that aforementioned list. This time, with the added reason for your break up, it was a bit easier to remind you why breaking up had been the right decision.

When your hands closed on your favourite hoodie of his though, you couldn't help the pang in your heart as a flood of memories hit you.

You and Eddie doing a Friends marathon every Friday night.

Eddie giving this hoodie when you were sick because he knew how much you liked it.

Eddie taking the hoodie off for a whole other reason almost ripping it...

No.

Shaking your head, you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand.

Enough of that. It was over.

It was only a week later that you finally got the time to come around Eddie's apartment. Sure, you could have called him, he could have come himself to pick them up or you could have dropped them at his job but that would have required you to call him. And recalling how that went last time you tried to reach him you decided you'd spare yourself the humiliation of him not ghosting you again.

Taking a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and knocked on his door.

"Y/n." You were met with a dishevelled Eddie.

He looked like shit but what's new with him. He also looked very surprised to see you at his door and you also couldn't blame it for that. You would have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed.

"Hi, Eddie," you hated your treacherous voice that wobbled when you spoke. Clearing your voice, you tried again.

"Sorry to come here unannounced. I've found some of your stuff in my apartment and I thought you'd like to have them back." You explained as you handed him the box, his eyes taking it in for the first time.

"Oh," he paused as he considered your words. Was that disappointment in his voice? "Thank you, y/n. You shouldn't have." He smiled weakly as he took the box from you, your fingers touching briefly.

"It's not a problem, Eddie. I was just passing by anyway." You and Eddie actually lived far from each other. The truth is that there was no reason for you to be in this part of town if it wasn't for him. Eddie knew that but he was kind enough not to point that out.

He just nodded, accepting your words as he held the box close to his chest.

You awkwardly stared at each other for a while, you didn't know what to say but neither of you wanted to end this exchange quite yet. When you felt that you had been standing like a fool in front of your ex's door, you went to leave but Eddie beat you to it.

"So how have you been?" Your first reaction was to scoff at this attempt of small talk. Neither of you was very good at it. And truthfully, it was rich coming from someone who had not made any effort to keep in contact with you even before your breakup.

The scroll of your shoulders was the only answer Eddie got. You weren't in the mood to pretend nor did you want him to know how you were still suffering for him.

"I should ask that to you." You reverted the question to him. He really didn't look well.

"yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks," he confessed scratching the back of his head.

"That, I don't find it hard to believe," you hummed as your eyes took him in, really took him in since you knocked at his door. You could also see behind him that his apartment was a mess.

"Yeah, don't have to worry about me though. I'm fine."

"Of course." You nodded at his dismissal, remembering harshly the situation you were in."Well, I'm going to go now. Take care." Cold but still polite you turn around, ready to put this -Eddie and this exchange- behind you.

"Y/n, wait!" he called when you were about to climb down the staircase. "Do you want to have a drink or something?" Stay for a while? he meant but didn't dare to say.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Eddie." You called over your shoulder, hand still on the railing.

"Please, I owe you an explanation." You didn't know if it was the desperate note in his voice or the fact that he really looked like shit but you turned around almost convinced.

"Don't you think it's too late for that, Eddie?"

"Maybe it won't change anything between us but you deserve to know." You knew Eddie and you knew how much he cared about transparency and honesty. This may not mean that you were going to get back together but he was right, you deserved an explanation.

"Okay," you agreed as you walked back and then into his apartment. Eddie closed the door behind him and set the box he was still holding down behind the coat hanger.

The sneak peek you had before was definitely right: Eddie's apartment was even messier than usual.

"Why does it look like a tornado hit your home?" You couldnìt help but point out. You knew Eddie wasn't that bothered by tidiness but this too much even by his standards.

"That would be my fault," a new voice answered you.

At first, you didn't register the difference in tone or accent even though you should have had because Eddieìs voice wasnìt that low or raspy. But then a black tendril entered your vision field catching your attention making you turning your head to better inspect it.

What.the.fuck??

"Eddie?" You asked perplexed, eyes fixed on this thing? even if you were addressing Eddie.

"Y/n meet Venom, Venom meet y/n." He gestured awkwardly with his hands.

"It's so nice to meet you, Eddie's always thinking about you, you know? It's a bit annoying." this time the voice didn't come from a tendril but a face. A fucking alien face with long sharp teeth and wide white eyes.

His words went straight over your head. How the fuck was this true? What were you even seeing? Did this thing come from Eddie's body??

"Fuck, I know I'm heartbroken but now I'm even seeing things?"

"Y/n," Eddie tried to get your attention. You thought you had only thought that but apparently, you had spoken the words. "You're not seeing things, this is part of the explanation I owe you."

"I think it's better if you sit," he said motioning to his couch when you did nothing but stare at Venom. Prompting by Eddie though, you sat down and listened as he spoke.

He told you everything. About Carton Drake about his project with aliens, about Venom and their rather troubled relationship. He even explained how Anne had got involved and how she and Danny had helped him.

It was definitely a lot to take in. But somehow, the thought that he could be lying to you never crossed your mind. The proof was right in front of you, wasn't it? Venom, as he had introduced himself, stood next to Eddie while he spoke. It had never spoken again and you were inwardly thankful for that. That he was giving you space to digest all of this.

"Why didn't you tell me when you came around that day, Eddie?" You asked once you thought you had wrapped your head around it.

"I didn't want you to drag you into this mess," he said with a shrug, head cast down he didn't meet your eyes.

You didn't know how you felt about all of this yet but you nodded anyway. Well, there was nothing you could do anymore, could you? He had already taken care of everything on his own and it wasn't like you had any right to worry about him anymore.

"Thank you for explaining, Eddie. I appreciate your honesty." Did this change anything for you?

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough of if Anne meant more to me than you did. That's not true but I didn't know how to tell you that without telling you what was happening." He nervously fiddled with his fingers without meeting your eyes.

You could see his point now that you knew what happened. Still, it hurt you that he decided to just keep you out of it without a word. He could have at least told you that something was going on, that he didn't or couldn't tell you anything - not right now. You would have understood and given him space. Did he really act like this to keep you safe or was it a way to dismiss you?

"I don't know if this changes things, Eddie. You still turned up to her when a major life-threatening event happened. I think this tells me everything that I need to know." You point out after a while, eyes fixed on the end of your shoes.

"She has been involved from the moment we broke up, Y/n. Hell, this was the reason we broke up in the first place." Eddie's head snapped up at your words. He looked surprised at your words like he couldn't believe that you thought Anne's involvement had been something he had actively sought out.

"That may as well be true, Eddie but still, you didn't tell me even after everything settled down. If I hadn't come around to give you your stuff I still would be none the wiser."

"I was afraid, y/n. How could I come back to you after how much I had hurt you? 'Sorry if I went m.i.a. for a while, I was infected with a parasite who knows permanently with me?' Come on, y/n, I wouldn't take me back either." Now upset, Eddie started to gesticulate frantically to prove his point. His eyes flickered between yours, he leaned toward you, his hands a touch away from yours as if he wanted to touch you but was preventing himself from doing so.

"I'm not saying I would have believed you straight away but still- aliens are way better than self-loathing you know?" You scoff at him- why was he so upset? He wasn't the one who had been beating himself up since that fight for being a worthless piece of shit, was he?

"I know I've never done a good job at showing you but I do care about you. Deeply." Almost as if he couldn't bear to not be touching you any longer, Eddie now reached for your hands. His hold on them tightening as he spoke the words.

You looked at him for a moment. Aside from that fight, your relationship with him had been good. The start wasn't promising, seeing as he was still taken by Anne but Eddie had treated you good. He was attentive and caring in his own way. Looking back to it now, you realized that the period where you started feeling him pulling back from you was the time when this whole alien thing had started.

But now you had settled this, right? So, could this mean...

"If I give you one more chance to show you," you spoke tentatively, enthralled by the twinkle in his eyes, "do you promise me to be fully transparent with me this time around?"

"What? Why would you do that?" He looked shocked but his eyes were hopeful.

"Are you trying to talk me out of it, Eddie?" You challenged him, arching an eyebrow.

"Like hell I am." He scoffed, a smile on his lips. "Nono, of course I do. I swear, y/n. You'll never feel like you don't matter to me again."

"Good." You gave him a small smile at the gobsmacked expression on his face. Oh, Eddie...

He does nothing but stares at you for a while. Like he hadn't seen you in a while and now that you were in front of him, he wanted to commit to his memory every little detail of your face.

"So," you said after a while, "do you plan to stare at me or would you like to get a head start on your promise?" you provoke him with a suggestive tone.

Eddie's mouth fell a little at that, Venom said something to him but you didn't understand him. Shaking his head, Eddie smirks at you.

"I would like nothing more." And with that, Eddie's lips are on yours making up for the lost time.

[hereforhalstead]

“I’m all yours” Part 2

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

• Requested: Yes.

• Warnings: angst/Swearing/adult themes/unloving relationship/mentions of mental abuse

• Summary: Part 2 to “I’m all yours” as requested! You can find Part 1 here.

• Words: 6138

• A/N :  Thanks so much for all the great feedback on it and for your continued support - hope you enjoy and that it lives up to part 1! Got the inspo from watching ‘Workin Moms’ on Netflix, highly recommend.. also as before, I do not condone cheating or the treatment of any relationship like this. My inbox is always open if you want to talk and I know it's very hard but remember you're worthy and you deserve the best. Please do not hesitate to let me know if anything in this is too close to the mark as that’s the last thing I want (i might be reading too deep into this but want to be sure I’ve made myself clear

***

“Jay. I need you in here with me” Voight swings the door open, forcing Jay to release you from his tight grasp and turn his back to you as if he didn’t have you pinned to the wall whispering into your ear a few seconds ago. 

“Am I interuppting something here?” his gruff voice questions to which you shake your head “Right well come on Halstead, you’re with me” Voight exits the room, allowing you to finally release the smirk you’d been witholding. Jay turns back to you, running a hand along his jawline as he chuckles but you can still see the hunger behind his eyes as he winks “To be continued”. 

You take a moment to yourself, running your hand through your hair before allowing yourself to lean your back against the wall to take the weight off. It all seemed to happen so fast that you could barely recollect the situaion but all you knew was you hadn’t felt this way in a very long time. That passion building, waiting for the other to lean in first, the way your skin burns when he touches you and the rate your heart is beating even after he’s no longer here was enough to solidify how bad you wanted him and even better, he wanted you more.   

You watch through the one sided glass as Jay and Voight enter the room, Jay now looking as stern as ever, a complete 180 from the man who was just stood before you. He bores his eyes down onto the suspect and you feel your stomach flip at the mere sight of the way he leans his hands down on the desk and towers over the man, finding yourself instinctively chewing at your bottom lip and consumed by thoughts you shouldn't be having at your place of work about your partner. 

You continue to watch, time flying by as you sit back and watch Jay do what he does best but despite how well he can calm Voight down it wasn’t working. Voight was loosing it which was spurring the suspect on to act more of an idiot by the minute, clearly getting some form of pleasure of out of he was getting under Voight’s skin. 

“Sarge, can we step outside a moment?” Jay interupts Voight who currently had the suspect by the collar of his shirt, his eyes dart to Jay and then back to the man who was laughing in his face. You actually felt for the guy, not knowing what he was letting himself in for but also not being jealous of the pair of them currently trying to interrogate him but clearly failing. Voight shoves the suspect back into the chair and storms out of the room to be shortly followed by Jay, you watch as the man seems to stare directly at you and even though you know he can’t see you, you still feel the chills run down your spine at the emptiness behind his eyes and the slight smile he has on his lips. 

You hear Voight and Jay exchanging heated words just outside the door and you flinch when the door to the room you were in swings open  “Y/N, you’re up” Voight orders and you instantly feel sick that you would have to face the suspect who clearly had no means of confessing. Normally you’d stand up for yourself but the way Voight held his fists at his sides and the vein throbbing in his neck it was hardly the situation to argue so you did as you were told. Voight takes your place observing and you exit the room to be met by Jay leaning back against the wall, passing you the file as you approach him “you got this?” he asks with a slightly raised brow, you nod and try to ignore the hand he places on your lower back to usher you into the room with a hushed chuckle “you’re the only one I can rely on these days”.

You didn’t have the most experience when it came to interviews so whenever you were in this room you felt on edge, let alone when you know Voight is burning his eyes into your back and watching like a hawk, but something about Jay being by your side made it that tiniest bit easier. You begin to probe the suspect who was now slouching back in his chair, clearly also at ease by the lack of Voight’s presence and you sat across from him instead. You felt ill at the way he was looking at you and the way Jay’s muscles were tightening as he glared at the suspect didn’t go unnoticed either. “Aren’t you a pretty little thing” he comments with a grossly inapropriate smile and you scoff “Don’t look at her, look at me” Jay extends his arm across the desk to get his attention but it doesn’t work so he’s on his feet and leaning over the suspect in seconds “Lose the grin, or I will lose it for you”. 

You cough to break the tension, already predicting Voight would crash through the door at any moment to stop the interview but luckily there was no sign. You continued your questioning and it was clear neither of you could get through to him “I can’t be asked to sit here and let you waste my time” you sigh, standing from your seat and grabbing the file to exit “leaving so soon, pretty girl? that’s a shame” he comments and you shake your head with a pity laugh. “Where you’re going, you’ll be the pretty girl” you comment, smile spread as his face drops and you see Jay cover a smirk with his hand “she’s not wrong” he shrugs his shoulders, also standing from his seat to join you in leaving the room “enjoy your time in there buddy” he pats him on the shoulder as he passes “you’re gonna need it”. 

You walk down the corridor with Jay, still laughing between yourselves but a sudden silence when Voight appears before you “What the hell was that?” he barks as you stand wide eyed but luckily Jay speaks for you “he’ll confess Sarge, we just need to let him sit”  he reassures but Voight wasn’t satisfied “we don’t have time to let him sit Jay, you’re all gonna swan off to this party tonight so we need to get him by then” he demands “What like you’ve always got them to confess the first time?” he comments under his breath and Voight see’s red.

“I think you need to remember who you’re talking to Detective” he presses his finger into Jay’s chest and you step in “Sarge, you just gotta trust us. We know what we’re doing” you can see he is slightly taken back by the way you defend Jay but he isn’t shocked “just get it done” he groans before storming back into his office to leave you and Jay alone again. "thanks” Jay mumbles, frustration laced through his whisper, you lay your hand on his back and you notice him slightly relax under your touch as you offer him a reassuring smile and a shrug of your shoulder “always”. 

***

Tonight was some big police annual gala and usually you were buzzing for it but tonight just wasn’t the night for it. You and Jay had spent hours trying to break down the walls of the suspect only for it to get you no where, you felt defeated and tensions were running high. It fell to Voight and Olinsky to eventually crack him but after some of their ‘persuasion’ of course.. This left you feeling not as guilty for not getting to him as they clearly used different methods to you and Jay so were incomparable in terms of techniques. 

Even when you had a spare minute to yourself you find yourself replaying what happened with Jay in the observation room, the way he had you pinned and the hunger you could see and feel in the way he grabbed you set something off inside you. You’d barely been alone with him since then due to the busyness of the case but the occasional glances and minor touches as you passed his desk was making the tension unbareable but you still couldn’t ignore the pit in the bottom of your stomach. You still had somewhat of a boyfriend, even if he was a piece of shit who didn’t make you feel wanted, he was still your boyfriend and to your annoyance it wasn’t sitting right with you. 

Jay was everything you needed and you knew he could give you everything you wanted and so much so that it scared you. He was perfect in your eyes and you felt as though you didn’t deserve him, you’d never be able to tell him this as you knew he wouldn’t stand for it but you couldn’t help the way you felt. You were so defeated that you felt as though you deserved a trashy relationship and weren’t good enough to be with someone like Jay. This made you feel worse as no matter how much you desired him you still couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt.

You tried to rack your brain to think of the last time your boyfriend Mike had made you feel half as good as Jay does but you couldn’t even think of anything close. You were trying so hard to give him an inch of self worth but there was nothing, he hadn’t made you feel wanted or even like he loved you yet you still felt bad for showing interest in Jay. You’d have to put your feelings for your partner to one side and no matter how impossible it seemed you’d try to convince yourself he wasn’t for you. 

You’d managed to escape the district without anyone seeing you and by anyone you meant Jay. Unlocking your car and dumping your bag into the back, you jump when you see Jay standing there as you slam the truck down in frustration “You trying to kill me?” you hit his shoulder as you pass but he doesn’t move, instead his eyes scan as you slightly graze him to try and get to the passenger side “You’re just gonna leave without saying anything?” you could feel your heart pull at the hurt behind his words, the concern sweeping across his brows and the way he held his hands together like he did when he was nervous. “I need to get ready for tonight” you fake smile but he wasn’t buying it.

 “So you’re going back to him?” he kicks a stone on the ground and you follow his gaze as he looks back up at you “I don’t have a choice Jay” you plead, causing him to cup your cheeks in his hands to force you to look at him “Of course you have a choice Y/N. You always have a choice” he reassures but you stand in silence, unsure how to respond “If you’re scared of him, I’ll come back with you or hell I’ll go and collect your stuff for you and you can stay with me for a bit” he runs his thumb gently across your cheek and for that split second you can’t hold back your desires as you find yourself leaning into him.

You manage to catch yourself and put your hands against his chest to stop “It was a mistake Jay, I’m sorry for leading you on but it’s not gonna happen”. 

You pull yourself away from him and open the passenger door to get inside before he has a chance to pull you back “ That’s bullshit and you know it Y/N” he leans against your door, speaking through your car window but you keep your eyes focused on turning the key to start the engine before mumbling “I’m sorry” and driving away.

You look into your mirror, watching as Jay stands there defeated with his hands hung low and his head dipped “You’re a fucking idiot Y/N” you curse yourself before taking another look in the mirror to see Jay was gone.

***

You flicked through the dresses in your wardrobe, really not being in the mood for the party was in a strange was urging you to put more effort in to hope it would lift your spirits. You’d poured yourself a few glasses of your favourite mixer and had some music playing in the background to assist in your motivation. Of course you were home alone, what else is new..

You were used to coming home to an empty apartment, after moving in with Mike after just a few dates there was always such excitement to return from work to see him lounging on the sofa and ready to engulf you in his arms but that didn’t last long. He would be out until late, without even so much of a text message which would leave you sitting around waiting before eventually giving up in the small hours of the morning to retire to bed alone. You found it funny at this point, the classic ‘gotta laugh or you’ll cry’ really was how you dealt with it and you thought that was for the best. 

You’d stumbled upon a little satin black dress that you’d bought for your birthday last year but due to staying late at work you never got the chance to wear it so it would be perfect for tonight. After a little touch of make up and keeping your hair simple you stopped to examine yourself in the mirror and for the first time in a while you were surprsingly pleased at who was looking back at you. You’d hardly bothered with your appearance anymore, going out to a party was a rareity so it always did seem to take you back a bit when you looked like this and you were feeling good.

After taking another sip of your drink your mind started to wander, Jay creeping up behind you and snaking his arms round your waist as you admire yourself. His lips pressing into your neck as he whispers into your ear of how good you look and how lucky he is to have you sent the chills down your spine. You’d wrap your hands around Jay’s forearms as he trails his lips along your shoulder, lifting your hair to the other side to allow him access to your exposed skin as he nips lightly at the corner to make you giggle. 

You were so lost in your thoughts that when the door slammed you almost dropped your drink in fright, you quickly downed the remainder before heading out of the bedroom and into the main open place space. Running your hands over your dress to smooth out any creases you look up to see Mike ripping the tie from around his neck and shoving it onto the counter. You stand in the doorway, waiting to see if he notices you and gives you the attention you now so desperately crave, even if it wasn’t from him. 

Instead, he heads for the kitchen and pours himself a drink, takes the glass and slumps on the sofa without so much as a second look at you. You clear your throat to get him to look up but still nothing. With your hands on your hips you strut over to stand in front of the TV so he had no choice but to see you blocking his view. He takes a sip from the glass and shrugs, still trying to look round you to see the pointless comedy show that was playing on the screen “going somewhere?” he questions, eyes still averted from you. You lean into your hip and raise your brows down at him “It’s the gala? You’re meant to be my plus one?”. He takes another sip with a shake of his head “Don’t know what you’re talking about”.

This is the first time you’ve spoken in hours and he already has that look of grimace on his face, looking straight through you as if you’re not even there. Luckily, the liquid courage had made it easier to deal with as you let his words bounce off you, the thoughts of Jay quickly making their way back into your mind. How his jaw would drop if he walked through the door and you greeted him like this, infact even if you were in joggers and a sweater he would still tell you how gorgeous you looked. He’d wrap you in his arms, running his fingertips up and down your sides as he admired his girl standing in front of him with the confidence that no matter how many guys drooled over her she would still go back to him. You wanted to be that girl. 

“Just change your shirt, we’re leaving in 5 minutes” you demand, heading into the kitchen yourself to grab yourself another drink as you had a feeling you’d be needing it. You hear him grumble something as he clambers from the sofa and drags himself into the bedroom, a part of you shocked he actually did as he was asked but the other part regretting reminding him as the thought of spending the night alone with Jay was sounding all the more tempting. 

A few moments go by and you’re sitting at the table waiting for him, legs swinging with your head resting on your hand as your mind is clouded with the thoughts of the all too familiar detective. Was he going to be wearing a suit? Would he need help choosing a shirt and tie combo? You’d sit on the bed as he’d groan into the mirror when he couldn’t work out which one looked better. Turning to you to ask for your opinion as you tie the best looking one round his neck, feeling his breath on your lips as he glares intently down at you. His hands finding their way to your hips as you button the top few buttons of his shirt up before hooking his collar back over the tie. Feeling him watching you’re every move as his grasp on you tightens, sitting back down onto the bed to pull you onto his lap. You swing your legs over each of his as he leans back and pulls you on top of him, his arms keeping you on him as you try to escape as you tease about how you were going to be late-

“How’s this?” a voice interrupts your thoughts, looking up to see Mike in a fresh white shirt tucked into black jeans “No tie?” you ask, slightly dissapointed but he scoffs “It’s not that fancy, don’t know why you’re so dressed up” he comments, feeling the all too normal pit in your stomach as you brush it off “lets go then so we can get this over with”.

**

From the moment you arrived you felt on edge, you hadn’t seen Jay yet and you couldn’t ignore the way your heart dropped at the thought of him not being there. Deep down he was the only reason you’d dressed up, the motivation for you to be there and the only thing you could look forward to was seeing him but still no sign. You were stood at the bar, watching as Mike eyed up every girl that passed like they were piece of meat and it made you feel sick.

You stood chatting with Kim who was soon joined by Adam, draping his arm round her waist as they stood opposite you to make conversation. You could feel Mike wasn’t paying attention and had even taken a seat at one of the bar stools so he wasn’t even part of the conversation. You couldn’t help the thoguhts drift back into your mind, how you knew if you were with Jay he would proudly have his arm round you when you were at an event or even have his hand protecvitely resting on your lower back to let you know he was still there as a form comfort. He’d whisper in how he can’t wait to get you alone, making you giggle as his breath hits your ear to make the hairs on your neck stand on edge. He’d love to tell people how you met at work but always knew there was something more, others would comment on how smitten he was with you and how he looked at you with those doting eyes like you were his whole world and he wanted everyone to know. 

Kim hits your arm in laughter to bring you out of your thoughts but Adam was looking like he could murder. Glaring at Mike like he wanted to lay into him, scoffing at the disrespect and the poor way he was treating his friend. You slightly dreaded how Jay would react and honestly hoped they wouldn’t see each other but it was too late. 

You were chatting away, in efforts to try and distract Adam from the way Mike was behaving when you saw him appear through the crowd from over Adam’s shoulder. It was like a cliche movie, you zoned into him like he was the only one in the room, Kim’s words fading into the background as you could almost hear the laughter falling from his lips as he engages in conversation. You suddenly felt safe, like you knew nothing would happen to you as long as he was there and you just wanted to be tucked under his arm for the rest of the night but you had to play it cool. 

Watching as he heads towards you, drink in one hand with the other stuffed in his pants pocket. The crisp black shirt that was paired with a black tie finished it off, that man could look good in anything but seeing him in all black flicked a switch inside you and gave you that all too familiar feeling of the craving you had for him. His eyes widened when he saw you standing there, roaming your body and admiring every inch before Adam nudged him to get his attention “Bro, you didn’t look at me like that” he acted hurt, his hands on his heart as he pleaded “I just want Halstead to look at me like he looks at Y/N. Is that too much to ask?” he pretends to wipe a tear as you roll your eyes “Look like that in a dress and I’ll think about it” Jay comments, still with his gaze on you as you feel the heat rise to your cheeks “You look alright too I guess” you tease but this is when Mike decides he finally wants to join in. 

“You must be Jack” he extends his hand out to Jay who looks at him with a laughter in disgust “It’s Jay” he grimaces a smile and you try to hide yours by taking another sip of your drink. Mike drops his hand as Jay doesn’t meet his gesture as Kim breaks the silence “Who wants another drink?” she asks and you raise your empty glass “You’ve had enough, don’t want you making a fool of yourself” Mike mocks, expecting others to laugh at his comment but no one does.

You notice Jay’s fists clench at his sides and if Adam didn’t look happy before, he certaintly doesn’t now. Kim places a hand to his arm to calm him down and you only wish you could do the same to Jay but instead you watch as he eyes Mike, only imagining the thoughts that were going through his head as his nostrils flare. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom” Mike announces before excusing himself, leaving you stood in silence as Kim hands you another drink with that familiar sympathetic smile “I’m gonna kill him” Adam scoffs and Jay hums in agreement “You’re telling me”. 

It had been a while since Mike left your side, you’d barely noticed until Kim commented on how long he had been. You took a quick scan of the room but couldn’t see him anywhere and it’s like the feeling in your gut was trying to tell you something as you find yourself heading towards the bathroom before you can think. You march your way through the people, ignoring the calls from behind you and too focused on what you knew you were about to see. You slam the stall doors open one by one but he wasn’t there, a sigh of relief as you didn’t want to catch him out at one of your work parties was soon ruined as you hear a moan coming from down the hall. You storm towards the noises, blocking them out as you get closer and turn the corner to see Mike holding an unfamiliar girl up against the wall with her dress hiked up around her waist. 

You can’t move. As much as you want to scream and run, it’s like your feet are glued to the floor and you can’t move an inch. Instead you stand and watch them all over each other, him with a dare you say smile on his face as their lips intertwine. A sudden noise from behind you forces him to look in your direction, doing the quickest double take when he see’s you standing there but he still didn’t stop. Instead he dug his head further into her shoulder with every thrust, stopping to look up at you with an evil glint in his eye as he clearly enjoyed the fact you’d caught him and wanted you to watch. 

You finally come to your senses and headed back to the bar, no urgency in your walk, anger in your head or even tears in your eyes as you kept your head high and acted as if nothing has happened. As you approach you see the heads turn to you with concern “Where the hell were you?” Kim questions with a hushed tone “Did you find him?”. You shake your head “Want me and Jay to go and look for him?” Adam suggests and you chuckle “If I want to find a body in the river tomorrow, I’ll give you a shout”. 

You down your drink in one as Adam and Kim resume their conversation, Jay brings himself over to you and rests his hand on your lower back as he leans into you “You wanna get some fresh air?” he asks and you nod “like you wouldn’t believe”. He keeps his hand pressed into your back as he guides you out of the room and towards the exit into the majestic grounds of the hall. You can’t help but constantly look through the faces to try and spot Mike but there was no sign, probably still with that girl in the bathrooms or even better he’s taken her home to the apartment you shared and was fucking her into your bedspread. 

As soon as the fresh air hits you it feels like a sigh of relief, it was just you and Jay with no one else around, a complete contrast from the noisy crowded party and you wouldn’t want it any other way. There was a side to you that wanted to blurt it all out, knowing Jay would storm in there and lay into Mike was something you really wanted to see. The anger rising in his body as he clenches his fists, the vein in his neck popping as you confess or the desperation in his eyes as he asks you to tell him where he is, but there was the other side that wanted to keep it bottled up.

You knew the second option was wrong as it would just be another plan of self destruction and there was no way you could go back to that apartment tonight. There was only one person you knew you wanted to leave with and that same person was now the only one standing before you. 

‘Fuck it’ you thought to yourself and there it was, the moment you built up the courage to push your lips onto his. His arms clung at your waist from the sudden contact, pulling you into him but soon retracting when he realised what was happening “What’s going on? You sa-” he began but you leant in to try and cut him off but he wasn’t having it. His hand was still pressed into your back so you were inches apart, his eyes flicking between your lips and back up to your eyes but he was trying to control himself and make sure it was what you wanted. Normally this would make your legs weak at how sweet and considerate you knew he was but you needed him, you longed for him, you craved him and now you had the fear he didn’t want you. 

“You said you didn’t want this?” he questions with a huff “I was lying” you smile “I want you. You know I want you Jay” you yet again lean into him but he puts his hands on your waist firmly to keep you apart “Has something happened?”. Without words he already knows, the way your breath hitches and you harshly swallow was enough to set off the rage in him “Did he do something to you?” you can see his temper rising while trying to stay calm for you “Did he hurt you Y/N?”.

The panic sets in as you see his anger grow “I swear to god Y/N, if he laid a single finger on you”. You instinctively put your hand to his cheek to ground him “Jay he hasn’t touched me” you reassure, wording it carefully to not say ‘he hasn’t hurt me’ as after what you’ve just seen that would take a certain person to not be hurt. He relaxes ever so slightly under your touch and confession but he was still rigid, the frustration running through his body as he tries to scan your face for answers but you’re giving him nothing. 

“Can we just forget him?” you try to push past it, moving your hand down his chest and fiddling with one of the buttons “Or do you not want me?” the crack in your voice kills him, there shouldnt be a shadow of doubt in your mind about how bad he wants you, he’s needed you for so long that he should be taking you to be his right now but there was something stopping him.

“Of course I want you Y/N, are you kidding?” he grips at your waist to further cement his words “I want you so fucking bad that you’re all I can think about” he groans as you pull him closer to you by his shirt collar and just as your lips are about to meet you hear that all too familiar voice call out for you from inside the party. Your head snaps round so fast you’re surpsied you didn’t pull a muscle and the grip on Jay’s collar tells him you dont want to see Mike. 

He switches the position so he was closest to the door, his body shielding you as you cower behind him as he was the only one he could trust to protect you and be the one between you and Mike. 

Mike spots you through the door, clutching onto Jays shirt like your life depended on it but not in a way through fear. You weren’t scared of him as you knew nothing would happen to you as long as Jay was there but it was through a nervousness as you just wanted to forget the situation ever happened and just cut ties but he clearly wasn’t feeling the same way. He points his finger to you as he storms through the open doors, cursing yourself for having left them open as he may not have though to look out if they were closed. 

“Turn around and head back inside” Jay warns, keeping one hand behind his back and ensuring you stayed there “Get away from my girlfriend buddy” Mike scoffs which amuses Jay as he smirks “Sorry that’s my fault for not being clear. Turn around. Head home and stay the fuck away from her”.

You step around Jay but he still keeps an arm on you which you’re more that grateful for “Was she good?” you ask, confidence rising knowing he could no longer bilittle you how he pleased “What?” he questions and you roll your eyes “How was she? Tight enough for you?” you notice Jay straighten up beside you, clearly realizing what’s happened and increasing his anger and determination to end the man standing in front of him.

You place a hand to Jay’s upper arm and squeeze lightly in reassurance. “Go home, I’ll send for my stuff” you scorn but Mike doesn’t move “I don’t know if you heard her but she said go home” Jay takes a step towards him and as much as you trust Jay and know how he acts, this is the first time you’ve questioned if he will be able to stop himself. “You really don’t want me to tell you again” Jay threatens, Mike matches Jay’s step and closes the gap between them when you interject and stand between the pair with a hand on each of their chests.

Looking up to see the fear in Mike’s eyes but the anger and darkness behind Jay’s “Go. Home” you instruct to Mike who pauses for a second to look down at you and then back up to Jay “You’re lucky she’s here otherwise you wouldn’t live to see another day” Jay smirks, putting an emphasis on every word he spits out at Mike. 

The three of you stand in silence, watching as Mike and Jay stare at each other was laughable. Mike didn’t stand a single chance again Jay on a normal day let alone now, he was full of rage and needed an outlet so you feel a sigh of relief when Mike takes a step back and turns to head back inside “If I hear you’ve even breathed near her. I promise it will be the last breath you ever take” Jay calls out to him, his lips puling in an evil smile to which you hit him on the chest. His expression soon changes when he looks down at you and you feel your heart skip a beat, the vengeance in his eyes that told you the inner battle to control himself was getting impossible to ignore. 

“I’m sorry” he blurts out, the least of what you were expecting him to say, the softness as he reaches to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and continuing to trace your jawline with his fingertips. You loop your arms around his neck, leaving one to pull him closer to you as his arms find their way back to your hips with an urgency “I don’t want your sorry” you comment, his thumb runs along your bottom lip as he lightly tugs on the corner at the roughness of his skin “I want you”. 

He didn’t need telling twice, his grip on your waist pulled you onto him. Your legs wrapping round his waist as he steaded you against the wall, rocking his hips into yours as his lips made their way along your collarbone to lightly nip at the skin causing you to yelp “I’m going to show you how you deserve to be treated” he moaned into the crook of your neck with another light blow to the now damp skin from his lips “and we both know, it will be only me that can show you that”.

**

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[internalsealpanic]

Sealing the Deal part 1

Summary: Always, always be nice to sea creatures but never ever accept their pelt.

  A/n: A fic I’ve been meaning to write since forever. My contribution to mermay.

  warning: Disgusting fluff and bad decisions

Main Masterlist

part 2

You look like you're gonna die from boredom in your little fishing boat. 

 Dick rolls over to where Jason was sprawled and used his momentum to push the larger seal into the water. Jason gives an undignified squawk of outrage. Dick just preens and looks smug. 

 You cup your hand over your mouth as you begin to laugh. 

 Jason glares even harder at Dick. Dick... couldn't care even less if he tried. All he can focus on is the wrinkle in the corners of your eyes. They'd been gone for so long these past few months. It felt like the first ray of sun after a long storm.

 Dick claps his fins in excitement even as Jason snuffs and rolls his eyes. You clap in return but accidentally drop your fishing pole into the sea. Reaching for it, you fall into the water. Dick feels a little bad for laughing but you manage to get yourself back up into the boat safely.  You sigh in defeat as your fishing pole drifts away. Dick notices for the first time that your face has grown gaunt from the last few weeks. Are you eating enough? Are you even taking care of yourself? Dick swims over to your boat as it rocks back and forth on the waves. He hops in easily and plops onto your stomach. You laugh and pet his head. It was a weak laugh so he croons at you in question. 

 “Sorry pup, I don’t have any food for you today. I mean I don’t even have any for me.” Despite the sweet timbre of your voice, Dick can still taste the bitter hopelessness in the statement. 

He nuzzles his face into your chest. He can feel just how thin you’ve gotten. He has to do something about this. 

To say Dick had been afraid of humans would be a monumental understatement. It had been around 200 years since humans had left the island and the first thing they did when they came back was hunt down selkies. Dick's parents had been two of the unlucky few who'd been hunted down.

 So when Dick found himself stranded onshore because of a fin tangled in a fishing line, he thought he was a goner. And when he saw you approaching; well, he still thought he was fucked but he thought you'd at least be nicer than the adults.

 Maybe if he acts cute enough you'll spare him. 

 Dick whimpered and he gave you the big innocent look. 

 You shushed him harshly. Dick flinched then you flinched and muttered apologies.

 You approached him slowly. You looked around before crouching and fiddling with the line Dick had managed to get himself caught in. Carefully, you began to disentangle him. It hurt, especially when you took the hook out, but once he was free. He clapped and trilled before you shushed him again.

 Dick thought that it was all over and he could just roll back into the sea until you scoop him up and swaddle him in your shirt.

 After 10 minutes of your father screaming at you, he agreed to treat Dick who knew better than to snap at him. Your father was kind with gentle hands. He worked on Dick while you fed him fish. It wasn't the best fish but  Dick can't complain. 

 After an hour or so, Dick started to wriggle and you pull him closer to your chest. 

 "Dad, can we keep him for a few days? He might still be sick." You plead with big eyes. 

 Your father glared at you then sighed. "No more than two. His wounds just need to close up, understand?"

 You squealed a little. Hugging Dick tighter, you thanked your father before scampering off to find you a basin to put Dick in. You, thankfully, had the good sense to fill it with lukewarm water.

 Dick lived like a king in those two days. You fed him a lot of fish much to your dad's exasperation. You kept him warm. You even read to him and sang songs to him. 

 Dick wanted to stay but he missed Bruce, Alfred, Damian, and maybe that new kid Jason.

On the fourth day (one of the wounds was deeper than expected), Dick was released back into the sea but he never did manage to stay away after that

Dick sets the odd little trinket down in front of Jason's sleeping form. It was something you'd caught in your net days before along with the meager amount of fish you'd managed to net. You'd busied yourself with it for days before throwing it out. Dick wasn't sure what it was; all he knew was that it was something Jason would like. 

 He waits semi patiently for Jason to notice it, nudging it forward a little until it touches Jason's snout and the larger seal is forced to pay attention to Dick. 

 "I know when I'm being bribed, Dickface." Jason says, glaring. 

 Dick volleys it with a wide-eyed hopeful look. He nudges the little trinket forward again. This time, instead of ignoring him, Jason rises to his full height, teeth bared. This... does not faze Dick. 

 "C'mon Jaaaaaaay," Dick says as if the prolonging of syllables would whittle down Jason's irritation. Jason suspects if he were less inclined to tell Dick to fuck off, it would have worked. Probably. But as it stands, Dick is responsible for ruining a very good, very rare nap for Jason and so he's on the shit list and has lost any favor privileges until further notice. 

 "I said no. Go away or ask Bruce."

 "But Jaaaaaaay, it's just a teensy tiny favor. It won't even take an hour. Not with your skill at least."

 "That kind of flattery may work on Harper and it may even work on West but I'm not an idiot about to get involved with whatever shenanigans you have planned with the human."

Dick lets out a long-suffering sigh. Jason isn't stupid enough to think that Dick has actually given up. No, the stubborn little fuck is worse than a barnacle. "You've left me no choice-"

 "I have given you plenty of choices. Most of them involve minding your own goddamn business." Jason says with a little snuff. 

 "-I'm calling it in."

 Jason narrows his eyes at Dick.

 "Don't you dare. That was 5 years ago."

 Dick smiles, evilly. "Unless you want the rest of the family to know about-" 

 "Fine! What do you want?"

 Dick looks smug. Jason wants to bite his face off. 

 "I need you to help me catch fish."

 Jason looks at him, incredulous. "Did you hit your head or something?"

 "Not recently. Look, I just need you to help me catch fish for the human." Dick explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Contrary to what Dick seems to think, Jason really isn't concerned with the one human on the island. Most of the selkies on the island have barely even interacted with you outside of staring at you.

 "You're insane."

 "I think we reserve that term for Bruce." 

 Jason raises his head from the ground. "You're not wrong."

   You think you hear the light pitter-patter of raindrops. You sigh. You would be lying if you say you aren't the least bit thankful for the excuse to stay indoors today. You... don't exactly like foraging for food. You had avoided it for as long as you had food in the lighthouse. You thought it would at least last you 'til the ships came in but whatever is going on in the mainland has kept the ships from your shores. You don't mind. You never did find the sailors all that pleasant on the rare occasions that you did have to interact with them. 

 You like your island the way it is but... you're not exactly the most skilled at hunting... or fishing. You have no idea how your father did it. You chucked it up to the miracles of loaves and fishes. You miss him.

 You curl around your pillow in a vain attempt to chase the wakefulness away but the sun in your eyes was too bright. You flutter your eyes open. The sun had the audacity to be there. Still the splushing sound continued. 

 You strain your ears to listen, trying to make heads or tails of it. It was a squishy sound, the sound of putty hitting stone over and over again. You scramble to the front door. In hindsight, you probably should have grabbed a weapon before running towards the strange sound. 

 Opening the door, you're greeted with the sight of a familiar seal caught red-handed with a fish in his mouth.

 You stare at each other for a long moment before your eyes wander down to a pile of fish. A large amount of fish. Laughter rolls from your lips, musical and manic as you bury your face in your hands.

You think the seal furrows his brow at you, dropping the fish in its mouth before plopping towards you. Plop. Plop. Plop. He looks at you with big dark eyes. Your mouth twitches between curling down into a frown and a smile that spread across your face. On one hand, you are confused. On the other hand, you were gonna be able eat some meat. 

 A concerned croon comes from the pup and your face decides that it would rather smile at the moment. You throw your arms around him, not at all caring about the seawater getting on your nightclothes.

 "Thank you." You whisper and the seal answers with a happy trill.

 Dick is over the moon. 

 He can't even help how loud his trills get. It's ok you don't seem to mind either. He's just happy that you get to eat now.... but you don't. 

 Dick's a little frustrated when you don't immediately start digging in. Instead, you go back inside your home, swear, shout in delight then come back out with a basin and a jar of white powder. You then run around to fill the basin with seawater then add what Dick finds out is salt into the seawater. 

 Dick is... concerned. 

 You go back inside the house. When you come out again, you have a knife in your hand. Dick waddles back a bit. He knows you won't hurt him but it's a habit. You develop these kinds of habits around Bruce. 

 You settle yourself onto the ground cross-legged and grab a fish. Dick looks on with mild curiosity. You begin to dismember the fish by cutting off it's head, cutting it up in the middle then removing the bones and stomach. That kind of makes sense, Dick thinks. The bones are kind of annoying. Dick nods his head agreeably until you toss the fish into the basin.

 Dick looks on in utter confusion as you repeat the process with most of the fish he's brought you. 

 You turn to him looking equally befuddled before your eyes soften. You look sheepish. "Sorry pup, I can't eat all of this today so I'm salting them so I can eat them the next few..." You count the fish in the basin. "... weeks."

 Dick tilts his head but doesn't say anything. You really should just eat more. Dick can get you more if you need it. You just need to ask but you seem content with what you're doing. 

Dick is about to rest his head on your lap when you shoot up and scuttle back inside. You return with a line and a smile. Dick watches you string the fish up like laundry. He could probably help you but he has no clue if he should. Just eat the fish damn it.

Finally after what felt like forever, you start preparing the fish and actually eat. You offer Dick some and Dick has to admit cooking the fish does taste odd but not unpleasant. It's totally different from eating it raw (the better way) but it's not horrible. Or maybe it just tastes good because you've got the biggest grin on your face while eating.

Maybe.

 Probably, Dick thinks as he munches on his fish, pressed to your side.

___

 You sing at the top of your voice. It's a cheerful song but Dick can't quite make out the words. He knows it's human but he's not quite familiar with it. The tune is nice though. Dick rests his head on your lap closing his eyes.

 He croons happily when you being to pet him.

 You stop midway through the song dissolving into a fit, of what Dick can only describe as, giggles snorts. It was a despicably adorable sound that was engineered to make Dick feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

 He looks up at you with big curious black eyes. He's not complaining but he hasn't heard you laugh this much before and he may or may not want to know how to make you laugh like this again.

 When you don't answer his questioning gaze, Dick nudges against your chest. Your shoulders are still shaking but you manage to stop laughing for a moment. 

 "Sorry pup," you say wiping a tear from your eye, "I must look crazy to you. "

 A little but not as bad as Bruce, Dick thinks. Bruce thinks you humans still don't know there are selkies on the island. Dick snorts at the idea. Everyone knows that all you humans know about selkies. That's why those men keep coming here trying to trap them. 

 You squish his face affectionately with your hands. "My dad taught me that song and  I just realized..." Your mouth turns into a curved line of held back laughter. "...It's a sea shanty about missing being between a woman's legs." The last few words come out more as giggles than proper syllables but Dick can't enjoy that because he can feel his face warm up from the thought. He hides his face in his flippers. 

 You squeal, absolutely delighted with his mortification. Smiling down at him, you say: "Yanno pup, sometimes I think you understand me."

 Thought process-wise, no.

 Dick snuggles up to you again, blowing air out of his nose to voice his ascent. You can't just say things like that but again, you just simply seem amused by his suffering when you bend down to press a kiss to the top of his head. 

 Dick looks up when you pull away. No! Give him more!

 Dick stretches up to return the favor, having to partially climb on your lap but only managing to boop your nose with his snout. You nuzzle your nose against his and Dick makes the happiest noise in the back of his throat.

   Sometimes after wandering around you had a habit of falling asleep on the shore which Dick thought was fine until he found out that you couldn't swim. Dick being the only with brains in this duo always nudges you awake when the tide starts getting too close. Dick doubts the lapping water will wake you up before sweeping you away. After all, you managed to sleep through Tim, Kon, and Bart's rock piling contest on top of you. Dick shooed them away but even after cleaning up, you didn't wake up.

 Dick sees the sailors on the shore and nudges you. You... don't even blink. You hum, content to bask in the sun as you wrap your arms around Dick. Dick huffs. He likes this but he really would prefer it if you move. Dick considers slipping from your grip and grabbing a fish to slap you with like last time.

 Dick cranes his head to look at the ship again. It was far too close now, too close for you to get away without being seen by the sailors. 

 Dick turns you back over to your back and proceeds to body slam you with all his blubber. He winces when you make a choked noise. Dick can give you apology fish later. 

 "Pup, what the fuck?"

 You see the ship. Your eyes widen then flicker to his injured fin. Dick had injured it when he’d been swimming by the docks and got caught in one of the old traps. You’ve done your best to help it heal but you only know so much. You’re still reading up on herbs in case it happens again.  

 You try in vain to push him off but he's a big loveable sack of blubber and he refuses to move.  “C’mon pup, you need to move. They’ll try to catch you if they see you.” You grunt but the sack of blubber refuses to move. 

 You and Dick stay still as the ship draws near, neither of your chests rises or fall as the ship rocks back and forth.

The ship passes and you let your head fall back with a sigh. 

 Dick nuzzles his snout against your face, his whiskers tickling your face. You giggle and try to push him off. It’s useless so you let him stay there. 

 You both decide to take a nap on the shore with Dick huffing in your face once in a while as he snores. 

You curl up on the floor in front of the fire, watching the embers flicker, flash, and fade. It's the best thing you can do to calm your fraying nerves. The storm rages outside violently as if it was trying to tear the lighthouse down brick by brick. The whole building shakes with another boom of thunder. You close your eyes and burrow under the thick blanket. 

 In the back of your mind, your father is chuckling. The absence of a hand on your head is disconcerting. You remind yourself that it won't come, that you'll have to learn to weather the storm alone. You sigh then tighten the blanket around you.

Tok. Tok. Tok. 

 You blink. The fire was dying. When had you fallen asleep? 

 Tok, tok, tok. 

 Blinking, you rub the sleep from your eyes, but the haze doesn’t lift, only growing as you watch the firelight.  

 Tok tok tok. 

 You shoot up and barrel towards the door with the frantic knocking growing louder and louder as your feet pound against the stone floor.  

 You run into the door in your haste. The loud thud of your body against the door causes the frantic knocks to turn into muffled shouting.

 Prying yourself from the door, you open it and you don't know what you expected but this wasn't it.

 Standing in front of you was a man soaked like a wet rat. You blink in confusion before pulling him inside. You run to grab him a blanket. Wait. You should probably get him a towel. No, wait. You should have gotten his name first. Fuck. 

 You shuffle back into the room with a towel, spare clothes, and an extra blanket. You.. what can generously be called a heart attack. 

 For the first time, in the soft glow of the fire, you can fully admire your guest. Not see, admire because there was a lot to admire.

 The light of the fire flicking over the planes of his chest, with a light dusting of chest hair, the amber glow highlighting all the muscles of his body, framing the ripples of his toned figure. Swallowing any good sense you have, you watch the rainwater turn golden as it drips down his perfectly bronzed skin. The water cuts through valleys of muscle that could have only been handcrafted by gods. Your eyes follow the flow until... Oh.

 You flush furiously, your face glowing brighter than the fire. He's- He's- Oh my god, he's naked. 

 You reign your eyes in. Ok, you let it linger down there a bit. Not long enough for your guest to notice. You concentrate on his face which wasn't hard to do. The man pushes his raven hair out of his face letting you fully appreciate his face. In keeping with his body, his fine boned face looked like Pygmalion himself spent hours shaping it, not satisfied until he's made the perfect face. It's handsome in an adorable way. Not intimidating. It's the kind of face you'd like to pepper with kisses. You try not to focus on his lips in case of any sinful thoughts. You just met the man. The only thing you will note is that yes, his lips do look absolutely kissable and it aggravates you. 

 The most striking feature however are his deep blue eyes. The kind of deep that you feel like you could drown in. The kind of depth that looked too pretty to agonize over the fact that your lungs are burning. You stare, trying to carve a perfect replica of those eyes into your mind. Those eyes... that are currently staring at you... as he steps closer... at an alarming speed.

 You hold the stack of fabric in front of you like a shield. Your guest stops, looking at the stack. His face goes from concern to confusion to blinding enthusiasm. He was probably freezing.

 A smile spreads on his face, the cutest dimples you've ever seen forming on his cheeks, as he accepts the stack. He thanks you and your heart leaps from your chest. Whatever chill you were experiencing from the storm was completely gone. You turn away from him, rubbing the back of your neck and mumbling a halfway point between 'no problem' and 'you're welcome'. You hope it came out as 'no welcome' instead of  'your problem'.

 The man snorts and you are pretty sure which one came out. To save yourself the embarrassment, you walk to the kitchen and start preparing tea. The man thankfully occupies himself by looking at the assortment of knick-knacks you've hoarded gathered over the years. It gives you ample time to breathe.

 "Do you like sugar in your tea?"

 The man nods enthusiastically. You can't help but smile a little. 

 You sit next to him in front of the fireplace as you hand him his mug. He leans his head against your shoulder. You can feel his body radiating a comforting heat. 

 You two sit in silence, sipping tea and watching the fire flicker. You wanna scold him for slurping his tea. You're not exactly his mother. You don't even know his name. 

 You turn to him, face scrunched and about to ask him for his name when he surges forward. His lips brush against your lips as he nudges his nose against yours. You fall backward in shock and the stranger falls on top of you, his eyes still glowing bright and cool against the amber light.

 There's a thrill working up your spine or is it fear? You squeeze your eyes shut and throw your arms over your face. 

 "Please don't hurt me." You plead barely above a whisper. 

 You feel the body above you lower itself on top of you. He chuckles and shakes his head. "(Y/n), you're being silly."

 You open your eyes. The man is laying his body on top of you keeping you pinned down and he's... pouting at you?

 "I- I don't know who you are. You can take what you want but please don't hurt me."

 The pout deepens into a frown.

 "(Y/n), I'm not gonna hurt you. Don't you recognize me?" 

 You blink. You would definitely remember someone this eye-catching.  "You always sing that sea shanty to me. The one about the sailor who misses his wife's..." The stranger flushes and makes a hand gesture. Your face scrunches again. The only person you've sung that to aside from your dad is...

 "Pup?!"

 His frown morphs back into a pout. "I'm not even that little."

 You squish his face with your hands before you let your mind wander. You think back to the scars crisscrossing his limbs and chest.  "How is this possible?"

 He laughs, prying your hands from his face. "I'm a selkie," He says as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. "My name is also Dick, not pup."

 You stare up at him wide-eyed and stupefied. Dick snuggles against you like he always does. Somehow snuggling you in this form is better. He can hold you closer like this. You run your hand through his hair, fingers lacing through the tangles in his hair. He lets out an excited trill. 

 Dick might just be in heaven right now. 

 "I dunno how but you're somehow even prettier when I look at you in this form," Dick breathes contently. "I'm so lucky to have such a pretty wife."

 You stiffen. Dick looks up at you and the confusion in your face wrenches a knife in his heart. He swallows. "That is what you meant with this, right?" Dick asks, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

Your mouth turns into various shapes trying to piece together a coherent response. It settles on the simplest one. "No."

 Dick looks stricken like you'd taken a club to his head. 

 You reel back. "I just- I- I thought you were cold and you-"

 Dick's heartaches. It's a dull ache. He thought this kind of thing would be sharp like having a hook pierce your heart.

 His insides twist as he peels of you. 

 Your stomach sinks as you feel the cold fill your body once more. You don’t want him to go. The thought of being alone right now makes your stomach curdle. Your hands grip his shirt without meaning to. The look on his face hurts but the idea of him leaving felt unbearable. You know it's selfish but here you are begging him not to leave. 

 "Dick, I'm sorry... I didn't know... I-" 

 Thunder booms. You squeak and bury your face in his chest. You can't stand storms.

 Dick smiles down at you softly. It's still pained but it's bearable.

 He lays on his side and pulls you closer. He slots your face into his neck. You're still shivering even when he uses his body to shield you from the rest of the world.

 You whisper another apology.

 Dick shushes you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

The sunlight floods into the room like it does every morning but the room is still cold. Your mind works to understand what's wrong with this picture. Your hand pads beside you. The space next to you is empty save for the blanket left behind.

 You sniffle, gripping the sheet in your hand. You messed up, you think, pulling it to your face. For the first time in months, the tears come easily. You lay there all day because the tears won't stop.

   "If you sigh one more time, I am going to rip your throat out." Jason growls not bothering to open his eyes. Why would he? Dick has been flat and mopey for the past two weeks and Jason is really starting to miss his hyperactivity. 

 Dick lets out another mopey sigh. Jason. Is. Going. To. Scream. 

 "Can't you be depressing in Roy's direction? Or Bruce's?" 

 Dick sighs even louder at the mention of Bruce and Jason, for once, is considering murder or at least maiming. 

 "She doesn't love me back."Dick sniffles and Jason really should have known this had something to do with you. 

 He turns to Dick. "I'm going to regret asking but how do you know that?" The sooner he sorts Dick out, the sooner he gets to sleep. "Did she tell you to go away and never come back?"

 "Well no-"

 It's Jason's turn to sigh. "You fucking moron, What did she even say?"

 "She said she didn't know." Dick lowers his head to the sand and Jason wants to slap him with his tail. 

 Jason is now fully awake and very ready to throttle Dick. Or he's just cranky. "Are you telling me Bruce was right?! This day just keeps getting worse."

 Something seems to click in Dick's brain. "Oh, crap Bruce is right." He mutters stupidly. 

Jason will take whatever consolation he can get out of this. "She probably thought you were just some random pervert flashing her then." Jason snickers. It's petty and childish but so is interrupting a well-deserved nap.

 "What?"

 Jason lets out an exasperated huff through his snout. He twists his body to look at Dick with minimal effort to lift his head.  "Let's see, you turned up naked at her door and then you called her your wife and nearly kissed her in what?  The space of 15 minutes?"

 "I got confused." Dick sputters. 

"Geez, I thought West was bad but you're just a disaster," Jason chuckles, "Oh! And you made the brilliant decision to leave without explanation," Jason is having far too much fun rubbing salt in the wound.  "She probably feels terrible”.

 "Are you guilt-tripping me?"

 "Is it working?"

 "What-" Dick growls. "Well, what do you want me to do?"

 "Hmmmmm, have you tried talking? Yanno the thing Bruce never does. But seriously, I can’t believe you call her your wife and then abandon her." Jason shakes his head. "And you have the audacity to call yourself the smart one."

 Dick strips out of his skin and begins running towards the lighthouse... naked.

 Jason debates on letting him.... he probably shouldn't.

"Dickface!" Jason calls out. 

 Dick doesn't stop, face crumpled in determination and his little Richard swinging wildly as he walks. 

 Jason is gonna die of second-hand embarrassment. 

 "DICKFACE!"

 "What?!" Dick asks turning around his hands on his hips. Like usual, his hip tilts to the side and his foot taps as he waits expectantly for Jason to gather a mildly coherent response. 

 "Your little Richard..." Jason says pointing with his fin.

 Dick looks down and the look of mortification on his face is satisfactory. ".... Right. Shit."

 "Just steal some from her laundry."

  "But she'll be pissed."

 "Ok, so you would rather flash her then?"

 Dick sighs and this time Jason doesn't have the urge to throttle him only because Dick is already beating his own ego into a pulp. "I hate it when you make sense."

 Jason raises a brow, setting his head back down to the warm sand.  "I always make sense."

 Dick just cackles in response as he heads to the lighthouse.

Dick shifts his weight on the balls of his feet. He feels sick like he'd eaten one of those pickled fish you made him one time.  Maybe this was a bad idea. Why did he even listen to Jason? He flips onto his hands and begins to pace.  His stomach feels like it's being tossed violently by ocean currents. It feels like a shapeless lump sitting in the pit of his abdomen. Maybe you're out or maybe you never wanna see him again.

 Your face had been so blown wide with shock when he had called you wife that it looked almost foreign like the suggestion had been so audacious that your face had to reconstruct itself to accommodate the shock. 

 Dick puts a hand to his face trying to stem the flow of thought. He was such an idiot. Why did he assume you would love him like that and why did he just leave you? Dick closes his eyes and breathes. He'll knock just once more then leave if you don't answer.

 Tok.   Tok.   Tok. 

 The knocks register just above a whisper. He thinks you don't hear it. 

 He lets out a breath and walks away. This was stupid. He should never have come back. 

 Jason was right. Fuck. Dick buries his face as he walks away.

 Distantly, Dick hears the squeak of rusty hinges but it's lost in the tempest of thoughts plaguing his mind, in all the little hurts from that night. 

 "Pup?" The sound of your voice is followed by the pounding of your feet against stand. Dick's careening to the ground before he knows it as your body collides with his. 

  "Pup," you sniffle into his shirt, "it is you." 

 Dick twist in your grip so he's facing you. Your face is buried in his shirt. He strokes your hair, wrapping an arm around you, holding you tight. "Of course, it’s me. Who else would bug you at this hour?"

 Dick feels his shirt grow warm. You mumble an apology.

You look up to face Dick with half your face still buried in his shirt. You've clearly been crying based on how red and puffy your eyes are.  Dick's stomach churns at the dark circles under your eyes. He feels guilt stab him in the gut.  All of that combined with your generally disheveled appearance. Dick can just tell that you haven't slept well the last few days. 

 "Let's go inside and talk." You say, peeling yourself off of him. 

 Dick shakes his head, not loosening his grip on your midsection. "Let's walk around you look like you need some sun."

 You flushed and put a hand to your cheek. "Do I look that bad?" You ask absently, a shy smile creeping into your features. 

 Dick smiles at you and pushes your hair out of your face. "Never but the weather is sunny for once and we both need some air."

"So you really didn't know that the island was filled with selkies?" Dick asks, adjusting the infernal scarf you had forced him into. He insisted that he didn't need it. He could just cuddle up to you for warmth but you were equally stubborn about him wearing a coat and the wool monstrosity strangling him. 

 Your face scrunches up in confusion." I- I don't even know what that is."

 Dick stops.

 You slow down upon realizing he wasn't by your side anymore. "You... don't know what a selkie is?" He asks, his face the definition of dumbstruck. 

 You shrink into your coat." My dad wasn't interested in things like that," you shrug, "I dunno much about..." Your hand twists in a circle, reaching for the right words. 

 Dick tilts his head. That made sense. "You thought we were all just seals?"

 You nod slowly, looking like you wanna shrivel up. 

 Dick starts laughing and you look like you're a second away from throwing yourself into the water. 

 "I'm sorry," he says, flailing. He's screwing this up again. He breathes to collect himself. "I just thought it's funny that we all thought my dad was wrong about you guys not knowing."

 You rub the back of your neck. "Most of us mainlanders don't really believe in magic, yanno? It's just such a foreign concept. Kind of hard to wrap my head around it."

 "I get that." The smile on his face makes your gut twist. You fiddle with your hands. 

 "So what are selkies?"

 Dick tilts his head, not exactly sure of how to word it because how do you explain something that's been obvious to you since you can remember to someone who just found out about it a few weeks ago?

 "We're fae, I guess-" Your face twists in confusion.

 Dick needs to backtrack. "We're fae..." This is hard. "We have this human form and we have our seal forms. We switch between them using our pelt."

 Your brow knits in confusion. "Which one is your true form then?" 

 Dick wraps his arm around your waist and holds you closer as you walk along the cliff tops. He hums as he thinks. "Both?" 

 You look up at him with a weary smile. “That makes sense in a way.” You hum.  Swallowing thickly, you fiddle with your hands. "So what was with the... um..." You clear your throat. "What was with the wife thing?"

 Dick’s mouth dries.  “Well... when we want to ask someone to be our mate... we- we kind of give them our pelt and I thought it translated to human clothes…” He stammers out dumbly. 

 “Oh...oh!” Your eyes widen into a look of horror. You open and close your mouth trying to form words. “Dick, I didn’t realize , that must have - I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

 “Please don’t apologize,” Dick says and presses his lips to the top of your head.  His lips are warm and comforting. “I’ve spent so long in love with you my brain just didn’t...” Dick’s mouth twists. “It just didn’t do what it was supposed to.”

 You would definitely laugh at that last part but you’re still seeing stars from the startling confession he just hit you with. You snuggle tighter into his embrace as you look over the sea. You don’t know how to respond. You really don’t and it frustrates you. It was all just a lot to take in all at once like you’d been tossed into the sea and you’re flailing and grasping at water. 

 But if nothing else, you’re at least glad that Dick is still talking to you. 

 “If you don't mind…” Dick says carefully, the look in his eyes determined. “Would it be alright if I try and pursue you properly?” Dick braces for a no. He’s not dumb enough to be hopeful twice but he needs to ask. 

 Inevitably, you freeze. You pull his arm closer to your chest. Swallowing, you ask: “you mean like a human courtship?”

 He nods closing his eyes.  “Yes, I want to court you.” He coughs clearing his throat.

 You’re silent for what felt like the longest 30 seconds of Dick’s life. Dick cracks one eye to see you fiddling with your hair. “Uh Dick, there’s this one problem that might make that difficult…” Dick raises a brow. It wasn’t an outright rejection but it wasn’t an answer. 

 “I don't know how that works either.” You laugh nervously, burying your face in his arm. 

 “Good - then we don’t know if I’m doing it badly.” Dick beams with a blinding smile.

 You twist to look at him, the corners of your mouth twitching. “That sounds like cheating.”

 Dick snorts, “would you rather I court you the selkie way?”

 “I mean it depends. What's the selkie way?”

 “Fish.”

 Dick startles when you let out a loud bark of laughter. “Fish? You’ve already done that so many times.” You giggle.  Dick tries to wrangle his mind away from the fact that he can feel your lips through the thin fabric of the sweater. 

 “I thought it worked.” Dick sighs. He really did, but alas, miscommunication is a cruel mistress.  

 You lower your gaze trying to concentrate on the fraying needlework of his sweater. “Maybe it has.” You mumble low enough for a human not to hear. How unfortunate it is then that you’re dealing with a selkie. 

 Dick is beaming when you look up again. He nuzzles his face against yours. Dick is once again insanely, stupidly, incredibly happy. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Because neither of you knew what you were doing, Dick's attempts to court you ranged from ridiculous (a literal mountain of fish that you ended up drying, giving away to the other seals, and selling to passing ships.)  to ridiculously sweet (finding you handful of pearls).  Dick nudged a little shell overflowing with pearls and looked up at you with liquid eyes.  He could have gotten you pebbles and it would have been endearing.

 It wasn't always gifts though.

 Sometimes Dick would just sit quietly with you on the beach, snuggling against your leg as you scratched his stomach. You love the ways his squish vibrated as he purred. 

 When summer passed and it became unbearable to watch the stars outside, Dick sometimes spent nights in your lighthouse, wrapped up in your sheets or wrapped around you. It was nice having him around the house even if he was kind of a slob. You love him but he is a mess.

 You made the mistake of introducing him to tea cakes and got him addicted to November Cakes specifically. As it turns out, your cute pest has a sweet tooth and will nuzzle you into submission just for another bite.

 If you ever doubted that Dick was evil before, you now have proof.

 During the winter, Dick insisted on staying in the lighthouse to keep you warm. You wanted to point out that you had a fireplace for a reason but it was so hard to turn down hugs from him.

And because you hadn't had the heart to clean out your father's room yet and Dick clearly preferred it, you let Dick sleep next to you on your cot. You felt a bit bad but Dick was just so happy with the arrangement that you didn't want to make him go away. Besides, it was nice to wake up to his sleeping face in the morning, all sleep rumpled and drooling.

 __________________________________________________________________________

 "Hey Jay, do you have a book on selkies?" Dick asks, caterpillaring on the rock Jason is sunbathing on. 

 Jason takes the opportunity to roll down the rock and knock Dick into the sea before saying: "No." It shall be put on record that there are no drama queens in the Wayne family. 

 Dick shakes off the seawater, big puppy eyes staring at Jason. 

 Jason glares at him. He can't even let Jason have a second of smugness.  "Ask Selina."

 No one really knows where Selina came from or why she stayed (well, they had their suspicions), but if you need something you can't find easily, your best bet was to ask her and hope she doesn't ask you to do anything ridiculously hard.

 Dick hasn't had first hand experience but from what Bruce tells him, they're mostly silly things like recite poems or do a flip. He could do both those things. Well, depending on the poem. He gets tongue twisted sometimes. Hmmm, maybe he should ask if he can avoid tongue twisters so he won't bite his tongue.

 Sloughing off his coat, Dick walks towards the glowing cauldron. 

 "Still no clothes pup? You're going to give a poor girl a heart attack." Selina tsked, reappearing from one of the other cave entrances with a handful of things Dick can't recognize. 

 "Oh... I- I'm still not used to it." He says sheepishly. 

 Selina chuckles, dumping the handful of what Dick can assume is plant debris into the cauldron while before dusting her hands off.

 Dick stares at the thick vat. A bubble rises and bursts emitting what sounded like a human voice. "What is that? Should I be worried?"

 "Oh no, no, this? This is just a little soup for colds."

 "It screamed."

 "All soups scream."

 "I- anyway, I came here to ask if you have a book on selkies."

 Selina tilts her head to the side. "I believe I do-"

 "Great!"

 "Buuuut..."

 Of course, the price.

 "I brought pearls and some seashells." He says hopefully. 

 The angle of her head does not change. Though from the gleam in her eyes, she's clearly interested. 

 "Tell me why you need the book."

 Dick's thoughts halt. Should he tell Selina about you? His eyes dart to the boiling cauldron.  "... Why do you need to know?"

 Selina flourishes her hand. The book appears out of thin air."Do you want the book or not, pup?"

 Dick's nerves pinch. Why does everyone call him that? "I need it to teach someone Selkie customs." He manages.

 "Oh! The little lighthouse keeper!"

 "You know her?"

 Selina shrugs. "Do you really think I wouldn't know something going on about the islands nearby?" She pinches his cheek. "Oh little pup, I know about your little crush. You spend more time on land than you do in the sea these days. Dami's been all huffy about it."

 He has.

 "I've told you my reason." Dick says holding his hand out. 

 "Hnnnn, you have I suppose." Selina sighs.

 Dick takes the book, putting it into a waterproof pouch before gingerly putting his pelt back on. He happily caterpillars out of the cave with the pouch in his mouth. He really hopes you'll like this.

You really should just fix up another cot for Dick at this point and maybe buy him a set of clothes when you go to town. 

 "It's too cold to sleep outside." Dick whines, flattening himself against you on the bed. 

 You lift your book to look at him. Dick just gives you that wide-eyed look when he wants something. You roll your eyes,  letting him snuggle up to you.  "Dick, it is obviously summer and you're like 40% blubber." You snort. 

 Dick pouts.  "You're still gonna let me sleep here." 

 You scrunch your face up and sigh. "I can't exactly let you brace the summer cold, can I?" You say, running a hand through his hair. 

 "Eeeeeexactly." Dick says happily as snuggles into you tightly.  He nuzzles his face into your neck wrapping his arms around your waist. You hum helplessly, curling into his embrace.

 "See." Dick trills with a happy grin. 

 "Are you going to be smug about it all night?" You huff, throwing a blanket over the two of you.

 "No," he says,  "you assume I can't keep being smug 'til sunrise."

 "Dork," you snicker, setting the book down. It was a book on selkie traditions that Dick had gotten you a few days ago. You devoured it the same night but you're reading it again and subtly testing things while Dick was invading your house. You hum, running your hand through his hair, fingernails lightly scraping against his scalp. Dick purrs against your chest. "There was a one eyed seal on the beach the other day. He was a grumpy fellow but kind of cute. Seals really are a sleepy lot. The big lug started snoozing on my lap after like 5 minutes." 

 Dick tense under your touch. He looks up at you seriously.

 "That was a selkie." Dick deadpans. 

 You stop your rambling. "What?!"

 "That grumpy one-eyed seal was a selkie." He repeats carefully. 

 Your breath stutters. "Are all of the seals on this island selkies? ALL OF THEM?" Dick is pretty sure your eyes are mounting an escape.

 "All of them, darling." Dick nods. 

 "Oh." You are so screwed. "Do you guys all talk to each other?!" You shouldn't have told that seal about your little crush. You want the mattress to swallow you up. 

 "Yes? Should I be concerned?" Dick asks, lifting his head. 

 "No! No reason!" You squeal, shaking your head.

 Dick pouts at you with suspicion. It occurs to you with some amusement that Dick is actually glaring. You wisely decide to sidestep the conversation. 

 "You guys love taking naps on people, huh?" You say, absently twining your fingers into Dick's hair. He settles his head against your chest. "That's just cus we like you." He hums. 

 A snort rips out of you. "You're just biased."

 Dick looks up at you seriously again. "We selkies like pretty things like any fae." Dick says, wrapping his arms around you more tightly. He's being petty but Dick has always been protective of you and he isn't about to stop now. Besides... he doesn't want anyone stealing you away.

 You frown at him. "Dick, there are far prettier things on this island and sweet talking won’t magically make November cakes appear." You huff, kissing the top of his head before picking up the book and using it to hide the smile shaping your lips. 

 You feel Dick pick himself up off of you. You peek over your book to watch Dick. He scoots closer to your face until the only thing separating you is the far too thin book in your hands.

 "You don't believe me, do you?"

 "No." You say. You don't mean it but it's the easiest thing to conjure up when Dick is this close. Your lips prickle from imagining Dick's lips against yours. 

 You weren't paying attention. Dick has apparently been going on a two-minute diatribe on how pretty you are and in that two minutes, Dick has managed to scoot even closer. He gently takes the book out of your hands to make sure you're paying attention. He fails to take into account the fact that his face is in fact distracting. Your eyes zero in on his very plush and very kissable lips. If you just lean forward a fraction, you could...

 Your lips feel warm and soft against Dick's, the rest of his diatribe dying in the back of his throat as his eyes flutter shut. His mind might just be melting out of his ears because the only thing he can think about is how soft you are and how perfectly your lips fit against his. 

 "I'm sorry." You whisper shyly. You should be sorry, Dick thinks. Who told you to pull away?

 You touch your fingers to your lips. Fuck, what did you just do?

 "You can do it again." Please, he almost adds. 

 You lick your lips. Dick perks up and leans closer. His heart is going to leap out of his chest. You lean closer. Dick can feel his heart pounding against his rib cage. 

 You kiss Dick on the nose and pull away, hiding your lips behind your hand as you snicker. Dick scrunches his nose and blows air out of it. 

 "You know perfectly well what I meant." He huffs. 

 You lean back into your pillow, grinning at him. "I have absolutely no clue what you're on about." You say slowly, smug.

 "Let me remind you then,"A grin takes over his face. Dick leans in, pressing his lips against yours. You exchange breaths as you drink in the feeling of each other's lips. Dick caresses your sides. He feels you shiver and he smiles into your lips. "That ring any bells?"

 "Not really..." You say, flickering your eyes to him. "But if you try again... it might."

 "Oh sweetheart, I can keep reminding you all night." Dick chuckles, winking. 

 Covering your face, you attempt to hide your embarrassment. You hate how easily he flusters you. "You can't just say stuff like that." You whimper. 

 "Why not? I'm supposed to be courting you and that includes buttering you up," Dick says, nuzzling your cheek. You're just too cute.  Dick gently pries your hands away from your face. "Don't hide your face from me, Honey."

 "Oh god, you're making me regret letting you court me."

 "Never."

 ______________________________________________________________________

 Dick's eyes are struggling to remain open as he watches the fire.  He burrows further into the thick comforter you'd given him. It's not quite as warm as his pelt but the fabric is puffy and it has a sweet smell that makes his head swim. 

 Dick angles his head slightly to watch you. You've been toiling for hours and refuse to tell Dick what it is. Your back is still hunched over with your foot bouncing on the floor. Dick lets his eyes flutter shut, listening to the sound of your shuffling tools. 

 You glance down at the adorable mess dozing off on your sofa. You gently move his hair out of his face. He swats at you sleepily, face scrunched even as he sleeps. You sincerely wish you had Damian's talent for art or that you had one of those cameras. You really wish you could keep a picture of Dick's sleepy face. It's the cutest thing in the world.

 "Hey Dickie," you whisper.

 "Hmmmmm?" He groans.

 "Could you hand me your pelt?"

 "Sure," he moans, blindly padding around for it. You snort as he nearly falls off the sofa. After groping nearly every surface, he finally finds the pelt. "here you-"

 The fur brushes your fingertips before Dick stops. Dick shoots up, nearly clipping your nose with his forehead. He's looking at you fully awake, drool still hanging off the corner of his lips."Are you sure?!"

 "Hand it over coward." You smile gently at him. You try your best to fight off the excitement bubbling in your veins. 

 Dick is off the couch, his own excitement barely contained as his whole body vibrates with happiness. He sits up. You hold out your hand but instead of handing you his pelt, Dick drapes it over you like a wedding veil. It's thick and warm to the touch. You let your hands brush over the silken fur. You can feel magic thrumming from it. It feels like a minute current of electricity but it doesn't flow linearly. It ebbs and flows as it pleases, pulsing beneath your fingers. You burrow yourself in it. 

 Something warm spills in Dick's chest as he sees you wrapped up in his pelt. Dick kisses your nose. "You have now been wifed."

 You twitch your nose. "You missed."

 "Nope. Don't think so. Buuuuut if you show me where you want me to kiss you..."

 You roll your eyes and surge forward, pressing your lips to his.  Dick smiles into it, pulling you close and savoring the sensation of your lips melding together. He makes a happy trilling noise while you laugh against his lips. 

 "That clear enough, Dickie?"  You ask, pressing your forehead against his. 

 "Yeah, I think I got it, wifey."

__________________________________________________________

THANKS FOR READING

Tag list:  @batarella​, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish , @birdy-bat-writes​,  @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders , @l-inkage, @arestorationofbalance , @cloudie-skay, @wunderstell   @hyp-oh-critical @glorified-red @ marshmallow12435 @vvipgot7be​ @jadedhillon​​

[beigehearts]

Multiple requests are fine! Requests are unlimited. 

This is a cool idea so hell yeah

Yandere Adult Trio finding you after a few years after escape CW: physical abuse, mentions of kidnapping, blood, needles

Hisoka

This is rather nice actually. A quiet life in the middle of nowhere where no one questions you. It’s somewhat of a farming community you live in. You work at a farmers market, selling fresh fruits and vegetables to the same people every day. Everyone here recognizes you under your fake identity, and treats you as part of the community. As if you didn’t randomly appear one day. As if you aren’t in hiding. 

It’s been about three years you would say. Three years since you escaped... him. You dyed your hair, wore colored contacts and completely changed your clothing look. You moved countries, learned a new language, and completely dropped your entire identity and life. It was the only way you could escape him. How you escaped him remains a mystery to you too. He was always attentive but- you escaped that last time. Slipped through his fingers. 

Mr. Grady, the oldest farmer in town hobbles over to your stand and smiles with his big loose mouth. He only has a few teeth but you don’t need many when you blend all of your food anyway.

“Oh hello Charlie. How are you today?” He asks with his frail old man voice.

You smile back and begin bagging up the usual for him. “Very good Mr. Grady. How are you?” 

Your conversations are never short but it’s almost become a highlight of your day to hear the old man ramble. “Oh you know. The sheep dog are sick, so I tried rounding those cows up with my cat. He practically got trampled!” He throws his arms up as if it’s unbelievable. You somewhat listen as he continues. “... moral of the story is, cats are unreliable and only have two lives.” 

As you hand the paper bag over the counter the old man stops to think for a moment. “I saw someone new up by the shops today, he was a real character. Quite tall too.” 

You nod and get the change for the money he hands you, “Oh really? Did you talk to him?”

“He wasn’t much interested in me. Though he didn’t seem like a normal traveler. He was much too eccentric for that.” He offers one last toothless smile, “Don’t work too late. It’s time for the foxbears to come out of hibernation soon.” 

Before you can further question him, he hobbles off pretty quickly for an old man. Of course you’re overreacting but someone eccentric and tall randomly coming to town? No it couldn’t be. It’s been over three years since then. And he wouldn’t go this far for you would he? 

After closing up the shop you grab the keys to your car and head for the ‘parking lot’. It’s a field with white lines spray painted on the grass with a single light to illuminate the whole place. You hop into your car and are just glad to finally go home after a long day. It was rather slow but that’s because it was a tuesday. It is very busy on friday-monday. You start your car, and turn on the air, you plug your phone in and relax some into your seat.

You adjust your rear view mirror and scream when you do. You just barely catch the reflection of someone in the back of your car. He’s sitting in the back seat watching you closely. You decide against turning around to face him.

“Hello y/n. Or is it Charlie?” He asks calmly, as if it were a casual conversation.

You clear your throat and try to control your shaking. “What are you doing here Hisoka?” 

He ignores your question completely. “You really know how to choose a nice town. Quiet, friendly, off the grid.”

“I suppose.” Your hands grip on the steering wheel tightens. “How did you find me?”

“Oh, well, it was quite hard really. You did a good job. But once I found the first person who helped you change your identity, it was just a matter of going down the chain.”

You’d rather not think about what happened to those people. “And what are you doing here?” You repeat your question.

“Well there’s only one thing I’m here for of course.” He leans back in the seat, just barely having enough room for his legs. “I’ve come to bring you home.” 

“I don’t want to. It’s nice here.” You state as if you have an option. 

He leans forward this time, and cranes his head around the drivers seat to whisper in your ear, “It’s really not up to you pet.”

Before you can even react, there’s a rope around your neck, and he’s pulling you hard against your seat. You claw at the rope and gasp for air. You try to turn some but the rope burn hurts too much. You manage to get your fingers under the rope around your neck, and throw yourself forward.

His head smacks the back of your seat but your head smacks the wheel, honking the horn. There’s no doubt that you’re bleeding. You throw the rope over your head and jump out of the car, and run. But he’s much faster.

He jumps out of the car and before you know it, he grabs the back of your shirt, pulling you to him. He holds you against himself with his arms, leaving no room for escape. But you have one more trick up your sleeve. You throw your head back as hard you can and headbutt his face. There’s a loud crack that you can only assume is his nose. 

He groans and his nails dig into your skin through your clothes. “You really got feisty while I was away.” His nails begin to pierce your skin, ripping through the cloth of your shirt. “But it’s no matter, it only turns me on more.”

Illumi

To say you’re on the run is an understatement. You’re practically sprinting away even all these years later. You know that if you stop for even a few days that he would find you. You spend no more than three days at a time in the same place. You’ve travelled half of the world by now- and quite honestly it has been somewhat nice. Not just the freedom from the suffocating grasp of your captor Illumi, but being able to see the world. You would never have done this if not for the situation you were in. Maybe things happen for a reason.

It feels like forever since you’ve been travelling. But the reality is that it’s only been two years. Two long years of not stopping. You have a new name and often go days without eating. It’s not easy getting money when you aren’t in the same area for long. 

It was late night when you escaped from him. He never let his guard down so you just had to go for it. He wasn’t expecting you to make a mad dash out of the manor, and hide out in the woods for a few days. Slowly but surely you managed to get out of the mountain prison, leaving through the small door next to the office. The man working at the entrance was sipping tea and reading the newspaper when you left much too busy to pay attention to you. You’re more than sure he was punished for missing you leaving. But sometimes you wonder if he chose to ignore you on purpose, and let you escape. 

It’s a beautiful morning. You slept on a few blankets and a sweatshirt as a pillow on the ground of a cave. It was hard to get any sleep at first but you managed to get used to the back pain. The sun is shining through the canopy, streams of light illuminating the cave. The grass outside of the cave is wet with dew droplets. It’s only slightly humid but the breeze with the warm weather is heavenly. It’s not every day you get good weather like this. 

You sit up and stretch your arms in the air, yawning tiredly. Your usual morning routine was to get a fire started, and put the tiny kettle above it. In your small backpack you have a few essential items. Coffee being one of them. You get out your tin can after jimmying a fire and filling the kettle with water from a nearby stream. You drop some instant coffee grounds in the kettle and bask in the aroma of coffee. 

You pour yourself a cup and put some powdered milk packets and splenda in the cup, stirring it with a stick that looked relatively... clean. But you had a feeling that today was the day. You weren’t sure why this morning you knew he would find you. But you did. Almost on cue, you hear footsteps approach behind you.

You bring the tin cup to your lips, taking a long sip of the hot coffee. 

“So this is where you’ve been.” You don’t even flinch at his words. You knew this was inevitable. 

The coffee burns your tongue. “Yes, I must have stayed here for a day too long. Don’t you agree Illumi?”

“Yes. It was quite stupid.” There’s a silence between the two of you. You continue sitting on the ground with your back facing him. “Are you ready to leave?” He asks as if he’s picking you up from and elementary sleep over. 

“May I finish my coffee first?” 

“I suppose.” Though he doesn’t move from his spot, his gaze staying firm on your back.

Luckily you haven’t spent all this time just running, but training. In self defense to be specific.

Quickly you jump up and turn around, you move your arm to throw the coffee on him in hopes of burning him. He grabs your wrist, but the coffee does land on his forearm. You bring your leg up to kick him in the side but he grabs it right as you make contact. The only hit you actually manage to land is when you throw a punch with your free hand at his throat. If it were anyone else they would be stunned for at least a few seconds. But this wasn’t anyone. He shows no sign of flinching. 

“Are you ready now?” He asks.

You allow your body to relax and he lets go of your limbs. “Go ahead, put a needle in me.”

He doesn’t argue with your point, pressing a needle to your chest and the last thing you hear is “Don’t fight it.”

Chrollo

The very thought that all of these people by his side had no qualms about you being kidnapped makes you sick. All of them had many chances to set you free and yet they stayed loyal to your captor, as if this were normal and okay. So many people witnessing this unhealthy obsession and not even muttering a word about it. Honestly you find it more ridiculous than you do sad. How did he have all these people under his thumb? Was he really just that powerful? 

Wherever he went, you went. One day he had what they called, ‘a mission.” You had caught a cargo train out west and jumped on, as stowaways. It’s not as if anyone checked each boxcar. All of you had fallen asleep in the small space of the boxcar. The train was at full speed, with no sign of stopping anytime soon. Cargo trains were much faster than you anticipated. Once you were sure everyone was asleep, you stood up casually as if you were just stretching. In case someone woke up. Which they did. Nobunaga peeled his eyes open and examined you. But he was too slow, you leaped out of the car before anyone could grab you. You went tumbling through a field after hitting your head very hard against the ground. It wasn’t the perfect escape but it was an escape.

After that you found a nearby farm, and while it was still night you stole a horse from a barn. You rode for many miles, until days later you found a very busy city. Somehow you managed to make a life for yourself, becoming a low grade secretary. 

Today was a slow day, your employer did not have many clients today. You checked in on your boss to see if she needed anything but she waved you away. You decided to play solitaire on the computer, a perfectly valid way to waste time. 

The phone rings and you pick it up while still keeping one hand on the mouse to play solitaire. 

“Hello this is the Seedling Lawyer’s Office. How may I help you?” You stick the phone between your ear and shoulder, playing solitaire. 

There’s a chuckle from the other side of the phone. “So it is you.”

Your blood runs cold, and the only thing that your head is telling you is ‘run’. “I’m not sure who this is, could you please state your name and purpose for calling?” Playing dumb seems like the only decision right now. 

“My darling, there’s no need for the semantics. I’m coming to pick you up right now.” Perfectly on cue, the sliding doors of the building open and you drop the phone, standing up abruptly. 

His eyes show affection and kindness, but there’s a glimmer of... rage. You look around but no one is in the waiting room and you know the cameras are fake for security. This is a cheap layer’s business after all. 

“There’s no need for the semantics Chrollo.” You try to say mockingly but it comes out more as fearful and unsure.

His smile drops and he begins walking towards your desk. “Do you understand the consequences of your actions y/n?” He scoffs kicks the heavy desk to the side as if it weighed nothing. “I missed you of course.” 

“Ah well, maybe I needed a break.” It comes out as a question. 

He corners you against the wall and places a rough hand on your cheek. “Oh darling, oh my sweet darling.” His smile reappears, as sweet as it always has been. “I’m going to kill your entire family.” His hand grips the side of your face roughly and he tilts your head back. 

“You really are something. I would never hurt you, you know.” He places a gentle kiss against your cheek despite his tight grip on the side of your head. “But that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences for what you’ve done.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat and grab his wrist. “Well you’re hurting me right now.” 

Immediately he drops his hand and sighs. “I would never hurt you intentionally, or if not necessary.” He grabs your throat, holding it so tightly you wonder if you’ll ever be able to talk again. He’s crushing your air ways and vocal cords. You claw at his wrist but its useless. “Disciplining you does not count as hurting you.” He leans forward, and if you could yelp you would.

He bites your cheek, definitely leaving a mark. After drawing blood, he licks it up. Your vision is going dark but you’re simply not strong enough to fight back. “Do you understand darling?”

[bonknigirlinthehood]

What he needs to understand

About: Zhongli was about to go to work when you suddenly throw a tantrum at him, forcing him to stay.

Pairings: Dad!Zhongli x GN!Child!reader

Tags/Warnings: Family Dynamics, father-child dynamics, gender neutral reader, Fluff.

A/N: Another Zhongli and his child fluff. Idk how tf i write this in between his smut fic, and somehow i finished this at 4 am in the morning.

Zhongli had fostered many children under his care throughout his years of living, growing them into an adult that will benefit Liyue. And so, he really was thought it will no different from raising you, his biological child, and yet it turns out to be way more, and more difficult, to raise his own child than foster children as he did back then.

It was a fine morning in Liyue Harbor. Zhongli, a Consultant from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, already prepared to go to work. On the dining table there's food ready to eat, but not for him, It's for his child who apparently just wake up when he was about to leave. You opened the door to the dining room, still sleepy, only to find your father already done wearing his shoes.

"Good morning, dear. Breakfast is ready, you should eat first, Ms.Lianyi will come shortly after" He notices your presence and smiles warmly, but there seems to be something with you because he also noticed your sour expression.

"My dear, is there something wrong?, Are you sick?" He asks worriedly, he immediately took off his shoes again to approach you.

"Why didn't you wake me up before you had breakfast, daddy?" You pout at him, your little dragon tail swinging behind you with upset. "You always like this, I want to have breakfast with you too!"

"I thought you still wanted to sleep?, You seem tired so i thought you need more rest" Zhongli wipes your face and stroke your messy hair, He can see that you are pretty upset, but he cannot understand why, considering usually you have no problem with him letting you sleep more. In fact, he thought all children like to sleep more in the morning, so he is a bit confused on why you are upset.

Zhongli was about to ask you when you suddenly hoofed onto him and hug him tight.

"Don't go to work daddy" 

He is even more confused upon hearing it. Why you act like this all of a sudden?, He doesn't understand.

"Dear, why are you suddenly like this?, You know I have to go to work today. I can't stay, besides, your caretaker is about to arrive in few minutes, you should wash and prepare to study" 

"I don't want to study!, I don't want to be with Miss Lianyi today!, I want to be with you today!" Suddenly, you start throwing tantrum and whining at him, making him frown in disapproval. 

"Y/n, you shouldn't act like this, daddy doesn't like it if you keep throwing tantrum"

Honestly, you almost stop when he said that, but you decided you don't want to stop.

"No!, I don't want you to go to work!, I don't want I don't want I don't want!" You start thrashing on his chest, hitting him with your little fist, much to his dislike.

"Y/n, if you don't stop I will be mad. I was already late, I can't have you throwing tantrum this early in the morning-" Zhongli stops, realizing his harsh tone. He cursed himself mentally and continue talking with lower voice, "..tell me what's wrong, my child"

You stop thrashing, burying your face in his chest, sobbing. 

"...don't go daddy..." 

Your father sigh, he really doesn't understand what is happening with you today. Usually you are such a good and obedient kid, eating breakfast with your caretaker and either studying or playing for the rest of the day. Is this matter related to him somehow?, Did he do something wrong yesterday to cause you so much upset?.

He was about to ask you another question about it when a knock can be heard from the front door. Realizing who is it, Zhongli immediately picks you up and opens the door. Your Caretaker is here and her greeting smile suddenly turns into worry when she sees you clinging to Zhongli and he hasn’t gone to work yet.

“Did something happen, Mr. Zhongli? Is little bao sick?” she asks worriedly. Zhongli shakes his head, he then invites her to come inside and explain what had happened.

“I...So little baobao won’t let you go to work, and has been clinging to you this whole time?” 

Zhongli nodded, despite you still clinging tightly to his neck, his hand also didn't stop supporting your body so you won’t fall.

“That’s right...and I honestly have no idea what wrong I did to her to make her this upset...Do you perhaps have any idea, Miss Lianyi?” He asks, He looks a bit sad and confused mixed, but his strong facade almost made it impossible to notice.

“I...I probably have an idea why little Y/n acting like this” she said, not so sure. But Zhongli immediately snaps his head to face her with a curious expression. "May I hear it, Miss Lianyi?, I think as her caretaker, you may know things I, her father don't" there's a bit of glimmer in Zhongli's eyes, eager to know. 

"U-uh...well, Mr. Zhongli, for the times I've been taking care of little bao, I've noticed sometimes, they will always waiting near the window…,waiting for you"

"Waiting for me?" Zhongli raises his eyebrows.

"Yes, I think they were feeling pretty lonely because you rarely at home. You see, you always go to work very early in the morning and go home pretty late at night, causing you two to barely have any conversation. And I think it's pretty normal behavior for children to want their parents to spend more time with them. Little bao must be missed you so much" 

Lianyi was done answering, while Zhongli was still trying to digest the newfound information. Throughout his life, every child he had fostered acted very differently, but neither of them ever had such feelings for him. They are always such obedient kids, always eager to learn and be useful for the world. What was the difference?Is it because you are his biological child?So the bond between you two is different?Zhongli needs to understand this or else he won't be able to understand you more. And as a father, it is his responsibility to be able to take care and understand his own child like the back of his hand.

"...Thank you for the information, Ms. Lianyi, I didn't know Y/n was feeling like that this entire time. I should be more cautious about it." He sighs and looks back at you, who are now sleeping again on his shoulder, probably too tired after all the crying. He puts you back to your bed, and after having a brief talk with Lianyi, your caretaker goes back home, leaving you and Zhongli alone. Your father writes some letter for Hu Tao, notifying her he wouldn't be able to go to work that day and asking her to reschedule all of his appointments. 

It's already noon when you finally wake up, and the first thing that goes into your head is if you are alone again. You jump out of the bed and run to the living room, but your father is nowhere to be seen. You let out a sulky pout and grumble, but then the door to Zhongli's room opens and the man steps out. He is still using his usual attire, just without the coat. Upon seeing him, you feel so happy because he is finally at home with you, but when you just about to leap into him you immediately feel embarrassed and awkward, knowing he was here because you threw a tantrum earlier that day, causing him to be unable to go to work and being forced to stay at home with you.

When he noticed you didn't come to him and just stay still, he approached you with a worried expression, asking what was wrong.

"My dear…,is there something wrong?Are you still mad at me?Do you want to eat something?" 

You fidget your fingers behind your back, your tail hidden between the legs. You didn't dare to look at him, still feeling embarrassed and all despite knowing how soft and kind your father was towards you. And after a few minutes you finally gaining courage to talk to him.

"Daddy..?” you whisper slowly.

“Yes, dear?” 

“I-i’m sorry...i didn’t mean to be a bad kid today...i just..i just…” You cannot continue your words, somehow feel too embarrassed to say it. But Zhongli, being as sharp as he is, quickly catch what you meant and smiles softly. 

“It’s alright, i understand” He caresses your head, his ungloved hand feels warm and soft to the touch. “I’m sorry, I should understand your needs more. I’ll try to make more time to spend with you together in the future”.

You can feel your cheek feel warmer, mix of embarrassment and happiness. Your plump cheeks are now as red as peach fruit. Zhongli pulls you into a hug, feeling the warmth of your body, and the comfortable feeling of the part of his soul being so close to him, heart to heart. He now understands why his late wife was so nervous and scared to leave their only child in his hand despite knowing how old and cultivated he is. She was scared this kind of thing will happen someday, because raising his foster children in fact, are different from raising his own blood and flesh. You are just almost as stubborn as him and she is probably afraid the two of you won’t get along nicely. But as always, Zhongli finds his ways to solve problems.

“Let’s eat dinner at Wanmin Restaurant tonight” He says, and you smile wide, your tail wiggling happily. “Yes, papa!” you giggles, your father can’t help but feel ticklish in the heart at how sweet your smile is. Right, he swore to protect that smile ever since you were a baby.

“But you need a bath first” He clears his throat, and without waiting for your reactions he just scoops you out from the floor and brings you to the bathroom. You whine and just resigned to the situation as Zhongli scrubs your body (especially your tail) to wash you clean. He always told you that young dragons need to scrub their body a lot because they are constantly renewing their skin to make it thicker and stronger, so you need to take a bath everyday and scrub your whole body to clean out the older skin so it won’t pile up. And Zhongli always likes it whenever he is just done bathing you. Your skin looks brighter and smoother, and your tail looks shinier, much to his liking. 

Not to mention how proud he is whenever he gets the chance to show you off to the people of Liyue. They always praise you at how cute and how much you resemble your father, but whenever someone tries to pinch your cheeks he is always quick to hold you back close to him. He sure doesn’t want to let anyone touch his one and only child.

With every passing days, Zhongli always learns something new about you. And even though your little self likes the attention your father gives you, in the future you probably will start hating it, and Zhongli will need another solution to solve your adolescence and puberty. But surely, surely he always enjoys seeing you growing up under his care.