#the fans would ask rupaul to bring him back every season

[19calicos]

i think bokuto would be an amazing guest judge on drag race

[artificialqueens]

Blind (Trixya) - DenDenMonMon

Summary: Plot twist: Alaska is the one that can see Katya from her backyard.

A/N: First and foremost I want to clarify that characterization is EXTREMELY important to me, and, even when the idea came to my mind some time ago, I didn’t even start writing the story until I did my proper research. I wrote and re-wrote this so many times, trying to make the characters as close to real as possible, and I’m not even sure if I got them right. Nonetheless, this is a Trixya fic, so that’s where my main focus is going to be. No disrespect to any of the queens, especially Miss Alaska. Hopefully she’s not so OOC that you guys will want to burn me alive. Massive thank you to everybody who helped make this story even postable. They are the true heroes. Enjoy!

AO3 Link

Blind

“No, those go over there! Ohmygod!”

Alaska runs a hand across his forehead, exasperated. Why is he even allowing people to help him? It’s not so hard to organize a simple party, he has done it before just fine. He shouldn’t be running around the place, so late in the day, making sure the house looks good.

There’s still so much food to get ready, and he hasn’t even started cooking. Everything should be set to receive the Drag Race girls that will be visiting his place tonight. He has organized the reunion so they can watch the finale of the current season. As far as he knows, nobody is watching anymore. Sure, they are all working and touring and whatnot, and not all of them were super obsessed fans right from the start like he’s always been, but they could at least support the show that–

Oh, no! That goes in the dining room!

It takes him the entire day but, by some point in the afternoon, when people start to arrive, the place looks somewhat presentable.

The first one to walk through the door is Bianca, all smiles and big teeth.

“Hieeeeeee!”

“Hello, Lasky!”

Alaska studies him shamelessly. He’s wearing jeans, a simple black t-shirt but a bright purple suit jacket on top. “Ooh, I like it!” Alaska decides out loud as he runs his fingers on the lapel. “I mean, it’s not animal print, but I like the color.”

Bianca laughs as he pulls him into a hug. “Of course you do, you stupid whore. This cost more than your entire house…” Alaska is sure his insult is supposed to be much longer but, as Bianca looks around the empty living room, his thought process stops. “Wait. I’m the first one here? Oh, no. I gotta get out of here.”

It’s betweens laughs and giggles that Alaska stops him from turning around, his mood already getting lighter. “No, no, no. You have to stay!”

They sit in the living room and Bianca tells him all about the Australian leg of his tour; shares stories of dirty dressing rooms, and crowds that would eat up anything he would feed them. Alaska can actually feel the excitement and happiness exuding the man sitting next to him. Something warm fills him as he listens to the beautiful adventures of one of the most successful drag queens to this day, who happens to be a close friend. Bianca is having the time of his life, traveling the world and taking advantage of the amazing platform that the show gave him. This is what drag should be all about. It should bring people happiness and make them enjoy life just as much as Bianca is doing right now.

The conversation has moved on to Alaska’s new album when the doorbell rings again. He opens the door to a lesbian Courtney in all her glory. She is wearing boy’s clothes but her face is fully painted and she is sporting a high ponytail.

One by one, and with only a few minutes between them, is that his friends start arriving. Alyssa is all legs in a tiny pair of shorts, he barrels in, rearranging the furniture that Alaska spent the entire day putting into place. Willam gets there and immediately takes over the kitchen, making sure the snacks are just the way he likes them. As soon as Adore crosses the door, he jumps to sit with Bianca, saying how much he’s missed his dad. Ginger brings his husband, surprising absolutely nobody. Kim Chi arrives alone, though, which prompts Alaska to ask him about Trixie.

“I thought you were coming together.” His statement comes out more like a question.

Kim shrugs as he drops a box of pastries on the coffee table. “He wanted to make sure the other Brian came, so he went to pick him up.”

The show hasn’t started yet. Nobody is paying attention to the TV as the queens start to loudly talk over one another, sharing stories and simply catching up after so long without seeing each other. As he chats away with the group, Alaska welcomes with gratitude the smile that takes residency on his face. He loves it, every second of it. His living room is filled with laughter and he’s letting the moment envelope him whole. He had really missed his friends and having most of them finally reunited after so long feels like a dream.

“How dare you start this party without me?!”

All eyes shoot up at the sound of the familiar moaning. Right after the anything but graceful words of greeting, there’s a loud scream that can only mean Tracy Martel is in the house. The wheezing sound that follows simply confirms that the duo is completed. Without failure, Trixie and Katya walk in holding hands.

If the place had been fun before, now it’s completely pulsing with life.

The loud laughter that Trixie and Katya add to the mix is gladly welcomed by everybody. The sounds are piercing and annoying, and Alaska can’t help but hate to love them. His relationship with each of them is significantly different. He loves both Trixie and Katya a great deal individually; but when they are together, it’s as if a new side of them comes out and lights up the entire room. By themselves they are both amazing people, helpful friends, and incredible artists; as a duo, they are nothing but light. Just like now, they arrive and are injecting joy into the little reunion right away.

Alaska observes how they go around greeting people, giving hugs and kissing cheeks, but never letting go of each other’s hands. They sit close together on a couch and it’s impossible not to get a smile on his face at their interactions. He loses himself in their antics and, even when he is supposed to be paying attention, soon he has no idea where the conversation around him is going. It takes a moment for him to reconnect to the reality of the chatting happening around him.

“Yeah, I’m still sleeping on that mattress.” Courtney pops a piece of brownie in her mouth as she shrugs. “Shit happens.”

“Oh, bitch!” Katya exclaims. “I shitted all over the bed!” There’s something almost kinda sounding like pride in his voice. His hand lands on Trixie’s knee, and squeezes hard as the memories come back to him. “That medicine was rotted. That whole situation was so disgusting. You suck one dick in P-town and it’s suddenly STD-land.”

Trixie’s high pitch scream of a laugh is heard right after. “I told you! You just wouldn’t believe it.”

One of Katya’s teen girl voices takes over and his hand brushes imaginary hair off his shoulder. “Why don’t you ever allow me to make my own mistakes? Ugh, you never let me be my true self.”

The whole group burst out laughing. It takes them a few seconds to calm down but, once they do, almost as if on cue, they hear the voice of RuPaul coming from the speakers of the sound system. The chairs they’ve pulled from the dining room, and the few couches in the living room, are enough for all the guests to comfortably take a seat as the show starts.

“This better be good,” Bianca warns as his arms cross on top of his chest.

Adore slaps him on the arm playfully. “Shut up, man. You are gonna love it!”

Michelle Visage’s voice travels through time and space and welcomes them to the show. Everyone in the living room goes quiet. Alaska makes sure to move and take the seat next to Trixie. He needs by his side someone that has for sure being watching the show.

Alyssa criticizes the dance intro, complaining about the lack of technicality and how the queens of this season seem to have no sense of rhythm. Alaska has to laugh with a tiny roll of his eyes.

The girl has only watched this one episode and is already making assumptions.

As if everybody has decided to take on their area of expertise, Courtney right away judges the wigs and Kim Chi points out all the flaws on the girls’ makeup. Alaska just can’t keep his mouth shut when they wear such horrible nails!

Three by three the eliminated queens get to see their highlights of the season. They answer questions from the public and share not so hidden situations that took place behind the scenes. Except for Ginger’s husband, everybody else in Alaska’s living room has gone through that process; they know what really happened, what was most likely produced, and which storylines were forced for the sake of the show. Maybe that’s the reason why, as the audience gasps at the revelation of a secret, nobody reacts on this side of the screen. The queens only partially watch the show, too busy talking about the challenges and how different they were on other seasons. They comment on the outfits and condemn the most horrible garments to ever walk the main stage. The quick recap they get to see of the season is not enough for all of them to fully understand why the top three actually deserve to be there. Ru’s decisions are questioned as the eliminations are presented to them.

When they reach a particular lipsync, between two of the fan favorites, Trixie softly whispers. “You know, I thought she was gonna stay,” he says without really looking at Alaska, but his head tilts in his direction. One of his hands rests on the back of the couch, his arm almost around Katya’s shoulders. The other hand is on top of his crossed leg, which Alaska has noticed Katya squeezes whenever there is something exciting happening on the screen.

Alaska forces his eyes to move up from the touching hands to see the side of Trixie’s face. “I know!” He purposely drawls his last word for emphasis. “She didn’t deserve to go that night. I like that dress, a lot. I liked the mix of colors and textures. The outfit was amazing. When she wore that yellow dress, though. Girl, that was enough reason to fucking ban her from the entire show.”

Trixie’s laugh is short but loud, directing a few stares their direction. “But she killed the lipsync, though.” He points a finger to the screen just as the queen they are talking about drops into a split and starts bouncing on the floor.

“Oh, c’mon,” Katya suddenly butts in. “You call that a killer lipsync? Momma, I’ll show you what it’s like to pound your pussy so hard against the ground the whole Earth moves.”

Just as he’s finishing that sentence he starts going down between the couch and the coffee table. His legs spread slowly and his arms go up in the air as he exaggerates what can only be his attempt to be sexy. Half of his tongue comes out to rest on his parted lips, in a way that has become a signature expression for both Trixie and Katya. Everybody starts cheering and throwing imaginary money as he pauses half of the way down, spreading his legs a bit more then stopping again. He shows how he is always fully in control of his muscles.

“Move on, girlie!” Alyssa is suddenly pushing away the coffee table to stand right next to Katya. “Let me show you what a real split looks like.”

The TV has gone to commercials and all eyes are on the show being put up in the middle of the room. Except for one particular set of eyes. As everybody laughs and screams, fully entertained by both queens, Alaska can’t help but notice how Trixie’s stare is fixated on Katya. It’s like every move is being carefully registered in his brain. More than amusement, there’s something closer to adoration reflecting in his eyes and Alaska suddenly has an idea.

Sure, everybody has joked about their relationship before, how Trixie and Katya are pretty much two halves of the same idiot by this point, or how they resemble an old married couple. They have always brushed it off, laughing at the jokes, going along with them. Never accepting but never denying anything. So tonight, as he has them right here, close and personal, Alaska is going to get to the bottom of this whole ordeal. That is now his mission of the night.

An hour later Ru is giving the sceptre to a girl whose hair is too high to wear a crown. There’s a new member of the drag family; a girl that they don’t know but have to welcome with open arms, almost as true siblings. Alaska watches her go up and down the runway with fake excitement. The true footage, with her real reaction at some bar, will probably be posted tomorrow. A new program starts and the TV loses everybody’s attention. Still, Alaska can’t stop thinking about his duty towards the new sister. He should try to get her number at some point, get to know her, make her feel welcome. He needs to at least check Wikipedia in a couple of days, when it’s updated. But that’s a task for another day, he needs to concentrate on the one at hand tonight.

Katya has his legs across Trixie’s lap by now. His head rests on Ginger’s shoulder as he laughs silently but uncontrollably. That’s probably Alaska’s favorite laugh of his, when he gets so excited that no sound comes out of his mouth. Trixie joins him briefly, three loud and annoying seconds of his signature laughter and he’s back to serious. Nobody is surprised and the conversation continues to a topic that Alaska has lost again.

His eyes can only focus on the way Trixie’s hand goes up and down Katya’s calf, pretty much absentmindedly. His black jeans ride up ever so slightly to the movement but nobody seems to mind.

“You’ll be the first one to go, you useless cunt!” Bianca’s harsh comment makes Alaska look at him.

Trixie laughs harder, throwing his head back before putting on fake confidence. “What are you talking about? I’m a skinny legend!” His hands land on his hips and his shoulders shimmer, sending everybody into fits of laughter.

Alyssa shakes a finger in the air. “But, you see, you are not a resourceful woman.”

As they all listen to the explanation following that statement, Trixie drops his hand back on Katya’s shin.

“Don’t touch me,” Katya whispers, it’s quick and sudden, as if Trixie’s palm hadn’t been there for the last ten minutes.

It was literally just there!

Trixie doesn’t say a thing back, though, he simply moves his hand and lets it rest on his own stomach.

“This bitch right here, she would be dead within the first hour.” Trixie pushes his chin in Katya’s direction.

“Plot twist, Momma, I’m already dead.” He points his index finger to Trixie, the tone of his voice matter-of-factly.

The whole room burst out laughing again and Alaska welcomes that warm feeling in his heart one more time. This is the sisterhood he always dreamed about, this is the type of people he wants to surround himself with; smart, talented, funny people who can make fun of each other, rolling with the punches and laughing carelessly from the bottom of their lungs.

Kim rolls his eyes. “Why do you always end up talking about zombie apocalypses?” Even when he’s trying to sound annoyed, there’s no malice in his delivery. Plus, it’s hard to take him seriously when that last word proves to be nearly impossible for him to pronounce.

Trixie sits up straight, thumb pointing to a laughing Katya. “Because this bitch smells like dead already! Makes me wonder if other dead creatures will come and try to collect her.”

“They are gonna think we are hiding their fucking queen bee!” And just as the thought leaves his mouth is when Alaska realizes he has been sucked into his observations for too long. This is so unlike him. Hopefully, nobody else has noticed how quiet he’s been. Hopefully, between Alyssa’s energy filling up the room and Bianca not allowing the conversation to die for even one minute, nobody has noticed how little Alaska has been bringing to their discussions. Hopefully, triggering Trixie to yell ‘honey’ nonstop, with the sole mention of bees, is enough to distract all attention from him.

Ginger turns to Katya, stopping him mid-conversation. “I need a cigarette, care to join me outside?”

Katya nods.

Trixie takes a hold of his arm. “I don’t think you should go.” His tone is severe, leaving no room for discussion.

Nobody is really paying attention to them. Willam is telling a story about a guy whose dick was so small he covered it whole when his hand closed into a fist. Alaska is actively conversing with the rest, but the corner of his eye is focused on the situation evolving on the other side of the couch.

“Don’t let him tell you what to do. You can do whatever you want.”

Trixie huffs under his breath, letting go of the grip he has on Katya’s arm, but doesn’t say anything else. Their stares meet. Their eyes have a full conversation that nobody else in the room is able to understand. Their pupils do all the talking when words are not needed. Trixie finally looks away with the shrug of one shoulder, as if saying the final decision is ultimately Katya’s.

Katya looks at him for a moment longer, pondering his options, before nodding his head dramatically. “Yeah, yeah, you are right. Sorry, Minj.”

The outcome is unacceptable for Ginger. His eyes go blank, showing all the annoyance he is feeling. “You see, darling.” He turns to his husband, placing a hand flat on his thigh. His voice is filled with sarcasm, purposely thick with his southern accent. “Miss Trixie, here, is still a bit upset that I sent her home.”

“I went home because of her, which is different.” Trixie doesn’t even look at him when he speaks, he simply directs his words to the air between them. “I won the–”

He’s about to respond, but Katya wraps his fingers around Trixie’s wrist.

“Don’t.” The word comes out barely above a whisper, but Alaska manages to hear it, and so does Trixie, which is who matters.

With the tension rising, in full Kim fashion, he looks around almost confused. “When’s dinner?” The air clears to the sound of Kim’s infamous words. Laughter once again fills the room and hostility melts away instantly.

Excusing himself, Alaska makes his way to check on the food. As soon as he enters the kitchen, he notices Trixie is walking right behind him.

“Girl, what was that all about?” Alaska asks while lifting lids on the stove.

Trixie walks to the fridge, taking out a beer from the pack they brought. With a twist of his face, his shoulders shrug, dismissing the subject. “Brian wants to stop smoking. He does really well until Josh comes along. It happens every time.”

“You know…” Alaska turns around as slowly as he lets the words out. “He doesn’t need a savior. He can take care of himself just fine. It may take him some time, but he always manages to figure things out.”

Trixie brings the beer to his lips, doesn’t drink it, though, Alaska can tell as much. The movement seems more like an excuse to hide the true expression on his face. He nods instead, and hums in approval. “Mmm, yeah, I know… But, also, he’s a people pleaser. So if his best friend asks him to go for a smoke–”

He doesn’t intend to, but Alaska can’t help but laugh at his words. “Ooh, sounds like someone’s pressed.” There’s still a small chuckle accompanying his words when he continues. “You can’t still be salty about the whole best friend situation.”

There’s a small huff, an attempt to subtract importance from the subject. “Bitch, of course, no!” Trixie rolls his eyes, pretending to be exasperated. “You should all know by now that’s a lame fucking joke.” Trixie avoids Alaska’s gaze, his eyes roll before they are glued to the bottle in his hands. “I just…” The sentence dies on his lips.

This is a weird sight. Trixie Mattel is never shaky with her speech, but Alaska keeps in mind that he’s talking to Brian Firkus right now. He is talking to a man in his late twenties, wearing glasses and a floral button down shirt; the farthest stretch possible from the Barbie doll fantasy filled with confidence that walks the runways.

“I care about him a lot,” Trixie finally concludes. Then there is a heavy sigh, almost as if he is preparing himself to let the thought out. “I don’t think I have ever cared about anybody the way I do about him. And it’s fucking stupid, because I know they are his friends, but they don’t seem to care enough. Or maybe I just care too much. I just, you know, it’s hard to believe anybody can care about him like I do. Does that make sense?” He seems on the verge of embarrassment at the end of his rambling, but not there yet, that wouldn’t be on brand for him.

Brand. The brand. Miss Fame. Where is Fame now?

Alaska puts down the bowl of salad he’s been tossing since the conversation started, his bony shoulders dropping. “Okay, here’s the deal. Your friendship is the best motherfucking thing in the entire world, is that correct?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“So what does it matter what anybody else thinks? If Josh wants to believe Brian’s his best friend, fucking let him. Katya is an excellent drag queen, and I look up to her immensely; but Brian is a deliriously amazing human, such a genuinely nice person, and he’s been there for every single one of us when we needed him. He can be everybody’s best friend, but who is his best friend? When things went south for him, he asked everybody to step back, we did, we gave him space. Everybody but you. You stayed there, like, not there-there, ‘cause you still respected him, but you went through the fire with him. We kinda felt… relief, maybe.” The last couple of words come out more as a question, asking himself if they convey his true feelings on the matter. “He kinda, like, freed us from the responsibility, and we just waited for the dust to settle. You fought the fucking fight with him. Nobody can take that away from you.”

Trixie’s eyes look glassy, Alaska is not sure if that’s caused by her words or if it’s just the light hitting the transparent glasses. Since he has said his peace, and hoping that Trixie will understand where he’s coming from, he decides to light up the mood.

“So, if you have an issue with gay Danny DeVito over there, just bring it right to his busted face!”

The unmistakable Trixie screams comes out, it lasts only a second before he whispers a small thank you.

Alaska can see Willam and Katya making their way to the kitchen, most likely wondering why they are taking so long or, less likely, wanting to help.

Change the subject, now!

Without even thinking about it, he goes for a safety net and pretends they are talking about something else.

“She was robbed!” He exaggerates an infuriated growl, causing a laugh from Trixie and a confused look from the men entering the room.

“Why are you talking about me?” Katya quickly asks, his own words causing him to laugh hysterically.

Willam slaps him on the arm playfully. “They are clearly talking about Shangela, right Trix?”

“You fucking cunt,” Trixie replies with a chuckle as everybody else screams with laughter. The subject is put to rest as each of them grab something from the counter and take it to the dinner table.

It’s a pleasant scene they walk into, the seats around the table are almost completely filled and people chat amicably. Alaska stays a couple of steps behind, basket of bread in hand, and scans the room carefully. The only word that comes to his mind is: grateful. He could be feeling a lot of things at the moment, but the strongest of them all is an enormous sense of gratitude. He’s happy for the smallest of things that had to fall into place for him to be standing right here, right now. He’s thankful he auditioned for the show as many times as he needed to, for the amazing people he got to meet, for every mistake and every lesson. Most of all, he’s glad he stopped doing fucking coke. A sigh physically leaves his body as he, once again, allows into his mind all that he lost during those years. He wouldn’t have been able to enjoy simple gatherings like this one if he had still followed that dangerous path of self destruction.

Now, as he admires the smiles on his friends’ faces, lit by the soft yellow light above them, he understands that everything he had to go through happened for a reason. He can appreciate the beauty of this moment, because he has experienced the exact opposite. And that’s a place he doesn’t wish to go back to, ever.

“Okay, bitches, be quiet,” he addresses the room, pulling the chair at the head of the table. He blinks slowly a couple of times before he starts his speech. “Ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary people, and everyone in between, I want to thank you all for coming, for making time in your ass tight schedules.” There’s a round of laughter following his words. “Before I get all emotional, and in touch with the feelings I don’t have–”

“Not since the accident,” Katya interrupts from his seat at the other end.

The chuckles subside after a couple of seconds, allowing Alaska to continue. He shares a couple of stories of how things used to be and notes how much they have grown up and grown closer together with the passing of time. After a few jokes, anecdotes, and heartfelt thank yous, he invites his guests to start their meal.

“And if you are wondering what’s the soup of the day… it’s Vivienne Pinay!”

It is in cheerful laughter that people start serving themselves, filling their plates with the available food at the center of the long table.

Alaska takes his seat. His plans for the night didn’t include a seating arrangement. He has Bianca on one side and Courtney on the other. Several people separate him from the couple he’s supposed to keep an eye on, the same couple that inevitably has sat together on the other end of the table. He observes them from afar. Trixie talks to Willam, meanwhile, Katya takes the bowl directly in front of him and places some salad on both his plate and Trixie’s. As soon as he’s done, and without stopping the conversation, Trixie takes the ice cubes out of his lemonade and puts them in Katya’s glass. The moves seem almost automatic, like a well rehearsed dance. They don’t really need to think about them.

During his observations, Alaska is halfheartedly listening to the conversation happening around him, which has now moved on to politics. The topic alone is enough to remove his attention from the couple now fighting over a baby carrot, and focus completely on the matter at hand. He’s commenting here and there as he chews on romaine lettuce, and it isn’t until Adore starts sharing the story of a friend that he gets fired up.

“She was fucking attacked, man,” Adore says as he waves his fork in the air. “Right there in the middle of the street. How fucked up is that?”

Those words are enough of a trigger for Alaska.

“I just don’t get it! Like, how can you be so fucking mad at someone just because you don’t understand them?” A part of him knows his taking it too far, but he can’t help but feel so strongly about it. “Just because someone is different from you, they don’t deserve your respect? It’s such a waste of energy to be pissed off at, like, nothing. Fucking exhausting!”

Alaska’s rant ends with a push of his plate. He’s suddenly not hungry anymore.

“Aren’t you doing the same thing, though?” Courtney offers casually, her lips wrapping around the rim of the glass in her hand for a moment. “You are wasting your energy being mad at the haters. There really is not much of a difference.”

Is she even serious?

The condescendant twist of her lips is what does it. Alaska doesn’t want to be part of that conversation anymore. Instead of firing back, he gets up, bringing his glass with him, and walks to sit on the end of the table. The vibe is completely different on this side. Everybody is laughing and the atmosphere isn’t charged with political statements.

“I just don’t see the point of it.” Katya groans frustrated. “It really is pointless.”

Trixie looks at him, as if he couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his mouth. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s the most basic human thing. It’s, like, essential to your well-being.”

Katya’s fork picks up a few stranded peas and he drops them on Trixie’s plate before continuing. “I just don’t see what’s so good about sleeping. It’s, I don’t know, this amount of hours that you just… lose! There are so many things I could be doing with my life but, no, my body must go into - into airplane mode and do - not even its most basic functions. I’m just lying there, doing nothing. The only use I see for it, is to practice for when you are dead. There is no other reason, really. Like, get, umm, you know, get your body used to being, like, dead.” His hands go all over the place as he’s talking, trying to explain what he can’t fully put into words. He seems almost apologetic, but the people around him simply chuckle at his rambling that is so unmistakably Katya. “Oh, my god. I could go on and on about this.”

“You did,” Trixie says between small laughs. “You literally just did.”

The wheezing noises leaving Katya are enough to have them all laughing hysterically right along with him. He pushes Trixie slightly, who doesn’t seem to mind at all.

“Shut up, you dumb bitch. Just because you sleep like a bear–”

“A bear?!” Trixie interrupts him in surprise. “Are you calling me a bear? Is that a read?”

Katya laughs for just a second before pretending to be shocked. “Read? I don’t like to read. I actually don’t know how to read. I’m illiterate and I’m cool with that.”

“Oh my God!” Alaska can’t help but finally intervene, drawling the last word as he waits for the people around him to calm back down. “It feels like I’m watching one of your fucking YouTube episodes. Do you ever, like, turn that shit off?”

The pair looks at each other, their eyes are glued to the other’s, and they mirror silly smiles as they let a slow but firm no leave their mouths at the same time.

“It’s like they share one brain,” Willam agrees. “Is there anything else you have shared?” The sexual connotation is evident, which pretty much is expected every time Willam opens his mouth to speak. “Cause you know, Kats and I have shared some… well, we have given some head together.”

“Yep, yep. Yep, we have.”

Trixie’s jaw is somewhere near the floor after hearing that last statement. This is not the facade he puts for the show, and this is not his exaggeration of a simple emotion either. He is fully and completely surprised by what he just heard. The wheels in his head are visibly turning, as he tries to rake his brain to make himself remember if he has heard about this before, coming up empty.

“Wait, what?”

Willam grins mischievously. “You never told her about it?”

“No!” Even when Willam’s question had been directed to Katya, Trixie is the one replying.

“I so did,” Katya assures him. “I totally told you. Didn’t I tell you?”

Trixie exhales loudly a couple of times, words getting lost before reaching his lips. “I - I think I woulda remembered the story.”

This is interesting.

Alaska’s mouth is wide open in amusement. The conversation has taken a rather entertaining turn. “What’s the story? Spill the beans, you bitch!”

A foot taps on Alaska’s chair, he turns around just to see Kim, each of his hands holding plates filled with food to the rim. “You’re on my seat.”

“Girl, can we switch for just a moment? I’m about to hear a nasty story here.”

Kim rolls his eyes but does it anyway, not without mumbling insults under his breath that nobody really seems to catch.

Willam is the one that starts telling what happened, not really trusting Katya with articulating properly and telling the story as it actually was. It was at one of the tours, Katya had taken someone back to the dressing room, which had a wall that didn’t go all the way up to the ceiling. Willam heard them from the other side of the wall, and decided to climb over it and join the fun. The details are extensive and intensive. Willam leaves nothing out about the vulgar encounter.

Suddenly, there’s the loud sound of the legs of a chair scratching against the floor. “Imma pray for y’all tonight,” Alyssa says as he dramatically gets up from his seat. “Your nasty souls need to be touched by the hand of Jesus himself, there’s no other way to save you. I’m sorry. I can’t keep listening to this disgrace anymore.”

“Yeah, I think I’m done here too.”

Trixie follows Alyssa and they make their way to the kitchen, empty plates in hand. That doesn’t stop Willam, the story continues for a few more minutes, as if nothing had happened, until the whole tale has been told. Katya’s attention is immediately disconnected, though. His eyes are trying to focus, and his neck is craning so he can get a view of the people that just left, one in particular, Alaska dares to guess. He’s just waiting until the moment that Katya decides to go after them, he clearly wants to, but doesn’t. They all stay there, striking pointless conversation that soon includes everybody else.

Alaska receives praises for his cooking as he goes around the table, picking up everybody’s plates and taking them to the kitchen.

“That’s what I’ve always said,” Alyssa says, placing a hand on Trixie’s shoulder. “You are a person of dignity, and respect, and - and people like you are really hard to find.”

Cleaning the dishes is enough distraction for Alaska. He tunes out of the conversation happening behind him as he drops the food remainings in the trashcan, then puts the plates in the washer. It isn’t until Katya’s voice is heard that his attention refocuses.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Alrighty, then. That’s my cue to leave.” Alyssa walks away with a click of his tongue.

Trying to remain invisible, Alaska pretends to be entertained by the china he’s putting away.

“Are you mad at me?”

Alaska looks up, just in time to catch the reflection of Trixie shrugging one shoulder. The darkness outside allows the light of the kitchen to project everything that’s happening behind Alaska. For a moment, the scene feels almost invasive. He feels like he’s spying on his friends. Especially when Katya takes half a step forward, entering Trixie’s personal space, and placing a hand on his arm. No words are spoken, they just look into each other’s eyes, share soft touches here and there, play with each other’s fingers. It’s intimate. It’s private.

Leave. Get out.

With the silent excuse of taking the trash out, Alaska can’t stand the closeness anymore and leaves them alone. He exits through the back door, Hefty bag in hand, and pushes it inside the large trash container. It’s too full, he is going to hate rolling that outside in the morning. That’s a problem for future him, though. Current Alaska looks up, and is able to see through the window how Trixie shakes his head. Katya’s hands are all over the place as he clearly tries to explain something, something that Trixie has no intentions of listening to.

Trixie walks to the fridge and takes out another bottle, shaking it in front of him as his index finger points at Katya. What appears to be angry words leave his mouth. Katya doesn’t seem to be intimidated or scared, at all. He takes a hold of Trixie’s hand instead, and puts the bottle down on the counter. He brings Trixie’s hand up to his lips and kisses it. Trixie’s eyes soften instantly. There are no traces of the upset person that had taken over him just seconds ago. The change is remarkable.

It seems like Katya is the one talking now, because Trixie is simply nodding his head from time to time. Occasionally, he will shrug, which Alaska has learned to identify as his way to cover up when something is affecting him. It’s hard to understand what’s going on, but the vibe of the whole situation has clearly switched.

Katya is apparently done talking. He is looking down, his head is hanging low. That’s why he misses when Trixie purses his lips, and is just left there waiting for a kiss. When he gets no response, he taps on Katya’s shoulder to call his attention. It takes him less than a second to meet Trixie’s lips briefly. There’s a hug and small smiles adorn both their faces.

Trixie takes his bottle and walks away, leaving Katya alone in the middle of the kitchen. He sighs heavily, supports his elbows on the counter in front of him, and his head falls on his hands. His fingers massage his temples for a moment. His breathing is physically heavy, Alaska can tell as much from his spot in the backyard. He wonders if he should just walk in and comfort his friend, but he wouldn’t know how to. He has no idea what the fuck just happened inside, he wouldn’t have the right words to help ease Katya’s feelings, whatever those may be. He seems to be almost… sad?

Before Alaska can make up his mind, Katya straightens his back and turns towards the window. Alaska jumps, he basically just got caught spying on his friend; but he remembers nothing but a reflection can be seen from the other side of the glass.

Katya walks outside, his hands digging in his pockets and finding a cigarette.

“Oh, hey!” He looks surprised to find Alaska there, but it lasts for just a moment.

Maybe it’s because he knows Alaska doesn’t smoke anymore, or maybe because he still has Trixie’s words playing in his brain, either way, Katya doesn’t light the cigarette. He brings it to his lips and simply lets it rest on the corner of his mouth.

“Are you okay?” Alaska asks genuinely concerned.

“What? Oh. Yeah, sure.”

The answer comes a little too quick, Alaska is not buying it. He tilts his head to the side, and his arms wrap around his torso, indicating him that he better try again.

“What the fuck just happened in there?” He tries a more direct approach when he still gets no reply from Katya.

“Bitch, I don’t know.” He runs a hand against his bald head in frustration. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Alaska’s eyes roll on their own accord. “You know that’s not true.” A worrying feeling suddenly invades him. “Are you guys okay? Are you fighting?”

Katya looks at him for a second too long, probably deciding if he’s the right person to let it all out to. Maybe he is wondering if he’s ready to let it all out in the first place. Most likely, he is not even sure of what the hell is going on and has no words to phrase the situation properly.

He takes the cigarette away from his mouth, toys with it for a moment, placing it between his fingers, before directing his gaze back to Alaska. “He is so confusing, you know?” There is no need for names, they know who the conversation is about. “Like, he knows I’m a whore. He knows I would literally suck any dick, any dick, even mine if I could reach it!” His hands flail around him, the white stick creating a hypnotizing line following his movements. “Sometimes he sounds, like, I don’t know, maybe, jealous? I don’t even know.”

A light chuckle escapes Alaska’s lips. “Of course he’s jealous!”

“Why would he, though?”

“Uh, maybe ‘cause you are out there sucking any dick but his?” Alaska’s sarcasm doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Bitch, I’ve tried!”

“Shut up. Not like that.”

Confusion is clear on Katya’s face. “Wha-what you mean?”

“Don’t act so surprised, girl. You know I’m right.” When the confused expression doesn’t leave Katya’s face, Alaska has to, once again, find a better way to touch the subject. “Okay, so, yeah, you know I love you both. Well, I love all of you guys, like, right now, I’m at home, I’m with my family. I am happier now than I have been in my… than I was when I was younger. I owe all of that to you guys. I know this sounds unrelated but I have a point, okay?”

A small chuckle accompanies his last words but Katya simply nods, allowing him to continue.

“I want you to feel that same amount of happiness. I know you, and I mean you, Brian, or at least I hope I do. I know you only look truly happy when he’s around, when you two are making stupid jokes and finishing each other’s fucked up sentences.”

Now it’s Katya’s turn to laugh softly.

“See, you know I’m right,” Alaska points out with a smile. “You are so guarded and so careful, hardly ever let anybody in. It took you and me to go to fucking drag war together for you to even begin to open up. Things with you and him just… are. It breaks my heart that you are so perfect for each other but have never really acted on it. That’s just… sad.”

This morning, when he was getting his house ready for the viewing - dinner party, Alaska had not planned on having this conversation. He hadn’t even been aware that he had such strong feelings about his two friends until right this moment. Now that he has opened this particular can of worms, he needs to go through with it. Judging by Katya’s reaction, this is a topic that he needs to explore as well.

With a drop of his shoulders, Katya groans frustrated. “Can I just suck his dick?”

Alaska can’t help but laugh wholeheartedly, the sound coming from the bottom of his lungs. “You could be doing that and so much more, don’t you want more than that?”

He doesn’t reply right away. Katya walks around in circles, unintelligible grunts generating at the back of his throat. “Fuck, I don’t know. I do? Maybe. It’s just… We have so much history. I would kill myself if I did something stupid again. I don’t think I could live with myself if I hurt him even one more time.”

“You are talking as if he didn’t have any saying in all of this. He’s so much stronger than you give him credit for.” Alaska’s words come out slowly, giving Katya time to absorb what he’s trying to say. “Have you talked to him about this? Have you asked him if he’s willing to give it a try?”

The huff that comes out through Katya’s nose is completely unintended. “We did talk about this… ages ago. We decided it was best to keep things as they are. Our friendship works pretty well, why change it?”

“Uh, don’t you wanna change it for something even better?”

“How can you be so sure it will be better, though?” Katya’s index finger points at Alaska, the question coming out almost as a challenge.

“I don’t!” He confesses. “I don’t fucking know; that’s the beauty of it all. You need to just fucking jump, have no expectation, no idea of how things are gonna go, and just, like, do your best and be there, and respond to things as they happen.”

The smile adorning Katya’s face is enough to make Alaska feel proud of himself. He has touched a delicate spot and he knows that, at the very least, he has planted a seed in his mind. Now it’s up to Katya to decide if he leaves it buried there, or if he nurtures it and watches it grow into something beautiful.

“When did you become such an insanely accurate witch psychologist of the heart?”

“I just… like, I used to drive myself crazy, overthinking about everything and then, one day, I decided to, like, stop.” Alaska knows that’s not enough of an explanation, but it’s all he has. “Listen, you and I specifically have been given all these fucking blessings, so many that they defy all logic. One of the very few things we are missing is someone to share them with. There are a lot of toxic fucks out there, and if you manage to find someone who is actually a good person, who is, like, willing to deal with all of this…” his long fingers point at Katya up and down, who takes no offense and laughs instead. “Then why not just go for it?”

The cigarette finally finds it rightful place in the trash can next to them. Katya stares at it for a moment, the jungle of thoughts in his mind visibly becoming untangled.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Just… would you talk to him? Would you bring the idea up and see what happens?”

Katya nods slightly. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try, when the time is right,” he finishes, turning around.

“When the time is right,” Alaska repeats to himself as he watches Katya walk back inside the house.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

He hears Trixie’s voice and shakes his head slightly. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but, hopefully, one day, those two morons will realize just how perfect they are together. For the time being, Alaska will just observe them from afar as they blindly fall even more stupidly in love with each other.

[mr-track-was-my-father]

Modern Newsies Drag Race AU

Race and Romeo are drag queens and do shows together all the time

Jack loves drag in general and knows some other queens thanks to Race and Romeo

Him and Bianca Del Rio get along so well

He loves Bob the Drag Queen but has never met her

He’s 100% in love with Katya  

But Jack is their number one fan

He goes to all their shows

He’s constantly screaming in the crowd (I’m talking like Trixie Mattel excited scream)

He laughs at all their jokes

Even when they’re not funny

He’s just trying to be supportive

One day he volunteered for a lap dance when it got quiet and now he constantly asks for one

He cries after every show

He goes backstage with a sharpie and a poster of the two of them and begs for their autographs with tears on his face

“I love you two so much!! You mean the world to me and I can’t imagine my life without your shows!!!”

“Kelly I swear to god if you don’t stop this shit”

Someone records it one day and it becomes a series on YouTube and everyone loves it

Eventually people start going to the shows just to record it to see what Jack would do

He makes it on Ellen just because of this

He brings Race and Romeo because he doesn’t think it’s fair that he’s getting a lot of fame from their shows

Eventually Race and Romeo get on RuPaul’s Drag Race as Miss. Track (R’s are rolled) and Juliet Love-CrayZ

Jack becomes a guest judge on the show as well

 He has major beef with Michelle and constantly trashes her

When Ru introduces the judges:

“and the biggest, bisexualist, drag fan…Jack Kelly”

Jack gets really into the whole judge thing the first time he’s on and Ru has to interrupt him to stop him from saying stupid shit

He eventually becomes a full time judge

Just because fans are upset when he’s not on the show

Michelle is annoyed with this because “he’s coming for me…Ru, you’re replacing me aren’t you??”

The queens love Jack

In one interview one of the queens says something along the lines of “If Kelly wasn’t married…” then she winks

In another interview: “I entered RuPaul’s Drag Race just to meet Jack Kelly”

Davey is a producer on the show and is married to Jack

The camera always pans to Davey when Jack says stupid shit

Jack is really proud of Davey being a producer and so he always says things like “my husband behind the camera is a fuckin babe love you boo”

One day he points to Davey says “I love my husband!!”

camera pans to Davey *Davey points back with tears in his eyes* “love you too babe!”

One time the cameras record Davey quietly talking to Jack telling him to stop because Davey got in trouble and it was the scariest thing he’s went through at work

Pretty much every season at least one of the queens has a crush on Jack so Davey flashes his ring everywhere

* queens are putting on makeup* “I think…I have a crush on jack…”*

*camera pans to Davey with his hand up* “try me bitch”

Some Queens are surprised he’s married because they just know him as Jack Kelly and not Jack Jacobs-Kelly

But at the same time he’s not low key at all about the fact that he’s married

When Romeo and Race get on the show, they think Jack will help them out and let him win

Boy are they wrong

When the Judges are making comments about the Queens Jack goes off

“RACETRACK HIGGINS YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST FINISHED FUCKING SPOT AND PUT HIS CLOTHES INSTEAD OF YOURS. THEY. clap DON’T. clap FIT. clap”

Spot and Specs are in the Pit Crew

Romeo almost fainted the first time Specs walked out

They start dating by the end of the season and are caught kissing at least once on camera

 Spot gets his nickname because of his first interaction with Race

He was spotting Race and Race didn’t know his name so he called him Spot and it just stuck

Later in the season, some of the girls are talking and one asks “who do you think is the hottest out of the Pit Crew”

Without skipping a beat Race answers “I’d suck the short one”

[dreaminglesbian]

So this is the end of the year meme I’ve been doing since ‘10! I’ve been doing it on LJ tho, but since I never go on there anymore I have been bringing it to tumblr!

I am tagging all my followers and friends to do this! Cause I always have a lot of fun doing this! 

END OF THE YEAR FANDOM MEME 2017!

Your main fandom of the year?

Definitely Shadowhunters! I was watching other shows and movies (obviously) but I wouldn’t say I was really part of other fandoms. I was super into fashion models and style this year but I wouldn’t say I was apart of any fandom.

Your favourite film watched this year?

I enjoyed a lot of Marvel movies this year. I always love, love, love Thor so I was happy to see Thor: Ragnarok! I also loved Spider-Man: Homecoming, it was so cute! I also loved The Lego Batman Movie, Coco and Beauty and the Beast. I would say I really, really love all these movies. 

I also watched a lot of indie gay films this year and I really enjoyed a lot of them. I don’t think any of them were the highlights of 2017 for me though.

Your favourite book read this year?

(I actually read more than usual this year, yay!)

I loved Boy Erased: A Memoir! It was very intense but it really sticks with you. I really learned a lot and I would love to read more by this author. I also loved Call me by Your Name! It was so beautifully written and I recommend reading it in the summer time. I loved Crazy Rich Asians, I think it deserves to be mentioned as one of the standout novels in the romantic fiction genre (along with Bridget Jones and Shopaholic, that’s high praise from me lol!). Also super loved The Miseducation of Cameron Post and I also loved volume one of the Captive Prince. I’m so happy I read so many books I enjoyed this year, I read more I could mention but these were the highlights for me.

Your favourite album or song to listen to this year?

Oh man, it feels like a lot of music came out this year, especially as a One Direction fan. Obviously honorable mentions that all five guys of 1D had music out this year so that’s exciting. I wouldn’t really say any of their music was my FAVE this year but I enjoyed all of it.

Favourite album is probably Taylor Swift’s Reputation album, that’s an obvious answer from me lol.  

I really liked all the slow jams Ed Sheeran did, I liked all the songs Selena Gomez put out. I really like the song ‘I Like me Better’ by Lauv! I liked the Coco soundtrack and the songs from Lego Batman lol. I realized I enjoy a lot of songs by Charlie Puth. I really liked listening to ‘Say You Love Me’ by Jessie Ware and ‘Saturn’ by Sleeping at Last. I also listened to the Book of Mormon soundtrack a lot this year. I also loved ‘Whistle’ by Black Pink! I also loved the songs Fifth Harmony put out this year (I will say I am disappointed in a lot of their live performances lately though)

Also shout out to Thief by Ansel Elgort for just existing lol.

Your favourite TV shows of the year?

Shadowhunters, lol! I just can’t get enough of that show! I enjoy Shadowhunters as a cheesy fantasy teen show but this year it was actually genuinely good. What a strange thing for a big fan to say lol.

Obviously as a Trek fan, Star Trek Discovery as well! That’s really exciting for a new Trek fan like me who never got to watch a weekly Star Trek show as it aired. It feels like a big blessing to have new Trek every week. 

I loved the Bold Type, ughhhh super super love that one. I also zoomed through The L Word this year. It’s not perfect (at all) but having six seasons of lesbian content is very nice. Also loved Wynonna Earp, as a Canadian lesbian sci-fi fan one couldn’t ask for a more fitting show lol!

I also really love watching Difficult People, SKAM (!!! I super loved SKAM !!!), RuPaul’s Drag Race and The Shannara Chronicles! I also am really enjoying Runaways and The Good Place. 

Your best new TV discovery of the year?

Definitely Star Trek Discovery. Also pretty much all the shows I just mentioned, a lot of them were new (to me at least) this year. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

I actually was like genuinely disappointed by the people of fandom this year sometimes more than the shows. Lemme start off, it is really nice not being in a fandom dedicated to real people (One Direction), even though I miss One Direction EVERYDAY. It’s nice to be upset with fictional characters lol.

First off obviously Dominic Sherwood using the F slur on the Matt Daddario official Shadowhunters livestream. My mind honestly goes back and fourth from being furious about how the show handled it, how Matt reacted and that it happened. Another part of me thinks maybe the show handled it okay and Matt’s reaction was fine. I’m honestly not sure but I really hate that it happened. I’m not super in the Shadowhunters fandom but I dabble in it sometimes and I really enjoy how undramatic this show is for me. Apart of me is like ‘Karma’s got it’s kiss for me’ and ‘we live, baby’ @ Dominic Sherwood LOL! Another part of me is like if I had never heard him say that everything would be peaceful.

The people in Shadowhunters fandom were in a big divide over this. Some were furious like I was and wanted this show that is so much for the LGBT community to show some action. While other fans who weren’t mad thought the fans who were angry were being babies. I think to see a show that is so much for gay fans to also have so many fans who are okay with this behaviour is a huge disappointment. Also how some fans of Magnus/Alec were completely fine with the word.

I noticed in a few fandoms how much straight fans think they are battling their straight ships against the gay ships. Like “ugh we watched all the scenes of the gay ship together, let us have some air time!” which is probably the most baffling thing I’ve heard. 

RIVERDALE. I loved Riverdale season one, LOVED IT. For the second season the HETEROSEXUALITY was in full force. (do you like how I’m mad about the hets when I just complained about it not being a competition? lol) That show is NEXT LEVEL heterosexuality lol. I’m totally okay with Betty/Veronica never being canon and I just ship them as femslash. It’s not very fun though that every time they are together they are talking about their boyfriends. The straight couples on this show are A LOT, like every show has straight characters but this show really rubs me the wrong way. Also the way they handled Kevin and Toni and yet the show thinks they are doing a dandy job with all this “diversity”. ANYWAYS.

I was disappointed in the people in fandom this year for a few reasons. Young fandom (seems to be young people in fandom at least) have different thoughts than I do I guess. They are very quick to claim (this is gonna get WILD fast) pedophilia. Which if we all claim that really quickly it loses the severity of those claims. Young fandom in cartoon fandoms like Yuri!!! On Ice or Voltron do this a lot. Also they are going by American standards of eighteen years old being the age of consent. It’s a messy situation.

Also how quick fandom (usually young fans again) are to claim incest. If two characters are adopted they treat it like incest even though they aren’t blood related. It’s messyyyyyy.

Also how young people in fandom super want characters to commit and get married??? This happens a lot with Magnus/Alec in Shadowhunters. Alec is literally in his first relationship and everyone is like MARRIAGE NOW, which boggles my mind. Honestly I love Magnus and Alec with my ENTIRE LIFE FORCE lol but it would make sense if they broke up for a bit and Alec dated someone else. Cause he’s YOUNG and never been with anyone else! It’s like Tidus in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt when he explains how gay virgins cling and commit fast lol. This is the same with Alex/Maggie from Supergirl which brings me to my next point lol!

Alex and Maggie started off SO good! The show was kind of... confusing with how they handled their relationship I guess. Maggie lied about cheating on her ex girlfriend and also lied about how coming out to her parents went. I love Maggie, I SUPER love Maggie but this stuff is really big to lie about. Alex was very mature and forgave her and then they got ENGAGED? Like Alex literally figured out her sexuality like SEVEN weeks ago and now she is proposing to Maggie? Even after Maggie just lied about things? All the fans were very happy which made me feel like a sour person that I wasn’t happy. 

I was also disappointed in Supergirl for how much of this latest season has been Kara being sad over Mon-el. Like Supergirl is one of the few female lead super hero shows that I don’t want to abandon it but it’s really getting RIDICULOUS with all the relationship talk on that show! I’m really mad at Kara’s character for how she is handling Mon-el. Honestly though ALL the female characters on that show are nonstop failing the Bechdel test and I may have to give it up. 

Also Teen Wolf ending with a whimper, not a bang. Empire having continuity errors and handling sensitive situations poorly. Sense8 being cancelled, Quentin Tarantino apparently directing a Star Trek movie?? Also sometimes I think Harry Shum Jr. and Matt Daddario really need to GO FOR IT when they have romantic scenes together.

OH MAN APPARENTLY A LOT OF DISAPPOINTMENT THIS YEAR LOL

Your TV boyfriend of the year?

(I always count this as fave males of the year lol) Robin from Lego Batman lol! Also Alec, Magnus and Simon from Shadowhunters. Peter Parker from Spiderman: Homecoming, super cute! Thor and Loki from Thor as well.

Your TV girlfriend of the year?

I super loved Maia Roberts/the actress, Alisha Wainwright from this year. Alisha, you can slide into my DMs, I’m ready lol. Also Clary and Izzy along with the actress who play them from Shadowhunters. I also super loved Sofia Boutella this year along with Alicia Vikander. I liked the celebrities Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Dua Lipa, Taylor Hill, Vanessa Morgan,  Ivana Baquero,  Natalie Alyn Lind, Kylie Jenner, Camila Mendes, Poppy Drayton, Lili Reinhart, Madelaine Petsch, and Selena Gomez. Also loved Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Valkyrie from Thor: Ragnarok and Michael from Star Trek: Discovery ! (as well as a lot of others tbh)  

Your biggest squee moment of the year?

TOM HOLLAND ON LIP SYNC BATTLE!!

Moonlight rightfully winning the Academy Award and not LaLa Land! (”As you can see I’m driving through the city having a fucking BLAST, baby!” - Snoop Dogg gif)

Also that I met three people who have worked or know people on Shadowhunters! The perks of being a fan of a show that films in the city you live in! lol

Oh man, probably the flashback episode of Shadowhunters that showcased all the Magnus/Alec scenes! Oh man, I wanted to fall to the FLOOR, I was JAZZED! #Blessed

Also Clary/Izzy had a LOT of good scenes in this season of Shadowhunters so that was awesome! 

Disney’s Descendants 2 really WENT THERE with the femslash for Evie/Mal! That was awesome! Seeing young fans try to say “noooo they are just friends” in the youtube comments on the song ‘Space Between’ was a real fun time lol! Yeah I was super pleased with that.

I went to Fan Expo, as usual, but this year the Star Trek: discovery cast was there as well as a panel on the production of the show. That was really special, especially that I got to go with my Trek friends.

Seeing Thor: Ragnarok and the THOR/LOKI, I was watching their scenes with my hands on my heart lol! 

Stamets and Culber being cuties on Star Trek: Discovery! Also shout out to the Wonder Woman movie. Also how alive Korean Star Trek fandom is lol. I also REALLY enjoyed a lot of fan made content this year like fan videos and fan art!

The most missed of your old fandoms?

One Direction and 2009 Star Trek fandom as usual. It’s crazy looking back on these memes and seeing One Direction joining this section of the questions. I don’t miss aspects of One Direction fandom but I do miss the band (ot5).

The TV you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

I’m excited for Grown-ish!

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

I’M HEADED TO SAN DIEGO COMIC CON THIS YEAR!!!

More Star Trek: Discovery and Shadowhunters episodes! Seeing the lesbian plot develop on Runaways. 

I’m excited for Avengers: Infinity War, Black Panther, Ocean’s 8, Pacific Rim Uprising, Maze Runner: The Death Cure, and the next Fantastic Beasts (especially if Ezra Miller’s character lives). My wife, Alicia Vikander in Tomb Raider!!

Also a lot of gay films like Love, Simon and The Miseducation of Cameron Post! I think there will be a lot more to look forward to as the year goes on.

Fave ships of 2017?

Alec/Magnus (Shadowhunters)

Clary/Izzy (Shadowhunters)

Betty/Veronica (Riverdale)

Stamets/Culber (Star Trek: Discovery)

Thor/Loki (Marvel)

(Peter Parker/Any male from The Avengers TBH.......)

There are a few others I shipped this year but I would say these are the highlights. 

Most listened to songs of the year

(This is from my itunes)

1. I Like Me Better - Lauv 

2. Don’t Blame Me - Taylor Swift

3. End Game - Taylor Swift

4. I Did Something Bad - Taylor Swift

5. Still Falling for You - Ellie Goulding

6. ...Ready For It? - Taylor Swift

7. Delicate -  Taylor Swift

8. Dress - Taylor Swift

9. Space Between - Disney Descendants 2

10. Slumber Party - Britney Spears ft. Tinashe

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

If you read all this you are a saint, bored or a super close friend lol! Thank you, thank you for reading! 

[kandadiff]

Updates - Kay Snow part 1

I’m redoing yours and making it longer - 

Many of you will know Kay Snow as the leader of the famous girl group Trinity, in which her and her two cousins (Adi Snow & Bri Snow) rocked the world with there very unique sound. 

Or maybe you know her as the leader and main singer of her extremely popular (#1 worldwide) girl group The Sirens, name any of the sirens and they are all household names. Plus Kay and Adi snow videos are hilarious literally go on youtube and watch there videos it makes me laugh every time. Or do you recognize her as Harley Quinn, or Serena from the I Spit on Your Grave movie franchise or even her solo album Dark Paradise.

Anyway lets dive in, so another thing Kay is known for is her various public realtionships, first linked with Liam Payne former 1d member, actor Damien Thorne and many others. However it was her relationship with actor and producer Negan Morgan. They met on the set of the Left for Dead during season 4 and 5 when she was a recurring character as Lana, Negans love interest. And like many actors these two went from co-star to couple coming out during the after show after Lana’s death scene. 

Holy shit did this not go over so well with fans, the Left for Dead fans loved it (theyre couple was the most popular on the show), but some of Kay Snows fans gave her a lot of flack for the 20 yr age difference. A few celebrities even chimed in against it. Wendy Williams calling it “shameful, what could a little girl have in common with a man like him?”, Bri Snow agreeing calling him a “cradle-robber.” and like always Azealia banks took to twitter trying to denounce there relationship saying it was “f**king gross but I guess that someone with no talent needs a sugar daddy to pay for her. I bet she was pimped herself out to him for Fire.” (Fire being the third album of The Sirens). 

Both Negan and Kay came back at her both posting a picture with both of the sticking up the middle finger with the caption “I’m happy deal with it.” and then tweeted back at Banks, Shangela’s famous sugar daddy speech from Rupauls Drag Race and went on to co-write one of her most famous solo albums Off to the Races which describes her and Negans relationship mixed with there characters in Left for Dead. 

Anyway despite opposition from others they stayed together for quite a bit considering Hollywood romances don’t last every long. Even going to the Caribbean together for vacation soon after that he went back to Left for dead and Kay and the Sirens went on the Playing with Fire world tour, which I went to it was amazing! Loved the show for real get tickets to them you wont regret it. . But nothing gold can stay and around them being together for three years they split up. Some people specuated it was because of Kay’s friendship with footballer Maximus Valente since they were seen out shortly after at disco style club Studio 54. She addressed it later on an episode of Ellen saying “Max, didn’t cause anything. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you plan, sometimes things happen but that doesn't mean I love Negan any less. He’ll always be apart of my life.”

And to move on from her relationship she moved out of her own house and bought a new one which is where Kitty and the Sirens wrote the singles Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood and Pity Party. 

6 months after her breakup she was seen getting in a fight with ex-one direction member on the street in front of The To Anyone Entertainment building, during the fight Louis grabbed her and tried to drag her into into a car all while they are yelling at each other and cursing and hitting and this is all being filmed and everything - right here, the video is pretty crazy like youd think after being told to leave her alone he would- nope. So he got a restraining order on him and it turns out he had been harassing and stalking her for months previous to the fight and that day it all came to a head. She also sued but the argument was settled before it went to court. 

When asked about it during a interview with Thomas Valentine “Louis and I were good friends during the one direction days especially when Trinity was new and I was learning about the industry from someone I thought I could trust. But I was young and foolish and let him get away with a lot of things that were sort of red flags because I thought he was my friend. But he took advantage of me and my kindness and I believed in him and his empty promises. I caught on more when he couldn’t rely on Liam to hide behind and told him to (bleep) off he didn’t take it well and really started to … harass me with constant calls and visits and I thought it was over but his family  owned more then half of To Anyone Entertainment and I was supposed to act like he wasn’t doing what he was doing and sweep it under the rug as nothing and in return he was supposed to leave me alone especially in the building. He did not listen which is why a lot of the music writing and recording was not in building however Louis isn’t stupid and only did it around people he knew he could get away with it around, he rarely did it around Edward, Draven, William or Negan or Max because he was afraid of them that's why I was always around them and no matter how much I yelled at him or cursed him or even hit him he wouldn’t stop. He even had the nerve to write that song Addiction about me and I know its about me because when it came out he wrote me this like 14 page letter discussing how every lyric reflected his thoughts about me … I guess im grateful for that considering after the judge read it the restraining order was practically done by then.” Holy hell, the hate Louis received after that made him delete his all of his social media and a few assholes came after Kay saying she was making it all up but the Cat Crew backed the main Cat Girl up, including Adi Snow who called Louis out and said her story was all true. 

To bring out the new year Maximus Valente announced his relationship with Kay snow on a cute Instagram video at a beach party thrown by fellow teammate player Romeo Popov. That is where Max and Kay became the couple goals we all know them to be. Seriously they are so cute together and by the way so good together can I just say. However another scandal rocked this girl during the filming of Harley & Ivy, where Kay played Harley Quinn, a sex tape featuring Kay and Liam leaked online from someone to have claimed to been an inside source having been taken years earlier. 

A few people on twitter took to talking about it almost right away trouble maker Azealia Banks claims she was cheating on Maximus and was “a dirty bitch with an even dirtier p*ssy.” Camilla Cabelo liking the tweet and @ Liam then Bri Snow tweeting “Just waiting for this drama # GotMyPopcorn.” Liam tweeted back saying “That was filmed a long time ago, she isn’t a cheater, I am not a cheater and honestly its obvious it was a long time ago, both her and I have gotten tattoos since then and I don’t know how it was leaked but the hate is completely unnecessary. Its not a secret, we were a couple but this video is one we meant to keep private so please just respect us enough to not send us hate about it.” Finally able to get to social media Kay addresses the video in a video of her own. “Liam said it perfectly, the hate is stupid and clearly given most of my tattoos are missing and my hair is shorter and red in the video I mean really guys? I obviously never wanted it to get out and it is an incredible invasion of privacy but its out now so just be kind to Liam and I and be kind to Maximus and Liams partner.”

However the sex tape scandal faded as The Sirens announced there highly successful I Am The Best Album and following world tour and even had two remixes of the songs as a distrack of I am the best and Ddu du ddu du to those who have come for them, Kay addressing Camilla, Bri Snow and Azealia in the remixes. That amazing ass album went platinum and they deserved it. It was amazing!

During the Sirens hiatus following Makayla Arrabah’s pregnancy announcement a video that all Malyn shippers saved to look at forever came out of Maximus proposing to Kay in cute little restaurant in Greece during there vacation. Oh my god my heart hurt it was so sweet! This was a really sweet time by the way because within this year period Makayla gave birth, Adi and Edward became an official couple, the new Wonder Woman movie starring Draven came out and Katya’s solo album Diamonds came out. 

The dream couple got married in October of that year near the couples favorite holiday (Halloween)  and in Maximus’ home country of Italy in a beautiful ceremony captured by Maid of Honor Adi Snow and Best man Romeo Popov. The wedding was supposed to be private but since both the bride and the groom had star studded guest list paps actually had people trying to break in to the venue. 

For their there honeymoon (after football season) these cuties went back Greece and enjoyed there little vacations, Maximus’s Instagram is filled with pictures like this. The year following there honeymoon she was pretty free from scandal and stayed pretty out of the magazines, working closer and closer with Edward Styles actually directing the film style music videos for his Album Abyss and starring as the Demon of Fame in the music video My Darling and this was also the time Real Time with the Snows the reality show about the snow family. It mostly revolves around her mothers side of the family and the constant drama around them.

But it was on an episode, now famous for revealing Kay’s pregnancy, which Kay was staying at her moms house and when her mother and Eva were coming back from the nail salon and a 6-month pregnant Kay was with Tyler and Adi in the kitchen complaining at who was eating her Rocky Road Ice Cream. And the fans went crazy after that aired all her social media was flooded with questions about her pregnancy and a few people actually sent her more Rocky Road Ice Cream. She and Maximus confirmed they were expecting twins and didn’t want to jinx anything that's why they waited to confirm the pregnancy. 

2months later they gave birth to there twins a boy and a girl. Apollo Romeo Valente. 

And Annabel Lee Valente aka Ella. These kids are the freaking cutest! So she really took a break from performing and got into the producing aspect of things directing a lot of To Anyone’s singers videos including Edward Styles, William, Kitty and the boy group Millennium and even helped recruit new talent for the Agency. She even traveled with the kids to start a To Anyone agency in South Korea. 

During the next 2 years Kay was pretty much exempt from scandal and worked on the horror/ thriller revenge tale I Spit On Your Grave as Serena Lorelai. So okay I love kay but I held off watching it because I heard it has a lot of gore and I’m a big baby when it comes to that but I finally watched it and holy shit its amazing! Like it is just a woman taking charge after 5 men do some really fucked up stuff to her and oh my god it was so good! Like I bought it on iTunes and watch it every two months like its a great movie for real. 

However, tragedy struck my favorite people shortly after something kay described as “the worst moment that ever happened to me.” Kay was spending time with a heavily pregnant Adi and the kids in her house when the news came on. Drunk driver struck celebrities limo all being rushed to the hospital. The limo was for Edward Styles bachelor party and in it was William Tomlinson, Harry and Marcel Styles, Stephen James, Robert and Andrew Hood, Ian Payne, Maximus Valente and Billy Hargrove. All besides Andrew Hood were seriously injured. The scene around the hospital was ridiculous, so many paparazzi and fans crowded the hospital not only because of the news but also because the news caused Arianna snow to go into labor a few days early. Sadly, Edward Styles, Maximus Valente and Robert Hood passed away just a day later. I can’t begin to imagine the pain these poor people felt and no one got out of that car crash unharmed. William has a metal pins in his legs since both were broken, Stephen has a slight limp when he walks, Ian and Billy both have scars where they had to get surgery, Harry had to have surgery on his arm and Marcel’s wrist still aches when it rains. 

The three funerals were held within a couple of days of each other but all of them were so beautiful and heartbreaking, so many people came to the funeral and so many pictures were taken. You can see she just looked so sad delivering the eulogy and Ella and Apollo even ran on stage with her when she started crying. 

In the following months Adi moved in with Kay and both found inspiration in there tragedy and while Adi was writing her Album For Him Kay co-wrote the songs and directed the beautiful cinematic music videos Dark Paradise, Like You’ll never see me again (I cry every time I hear that song) and You Found Me. She said writing and counselling really helped her get back out into the public and she slowly began to preform the songs live and began to go on social media again and became the face of Kyle Couture’s X! Line. 

Then our leader headed to Asia at the request of Got7′s Jackson Wang and BTS’s RM both wanted to help write/produce the sirens newest album and they actually started one of the most successful collaborations between Korean artists with the song Oh Yeah!, Oh Nana (ft. Suga), and E.T. Like if you thought this woman was popular in asia before, this boosted her appeal out there by like 1000%. Actually Big Hit and JYP offered her a job as a producer to help create new girl groups for the company. With plenty convincing from both sides she decided to take the job with Big Hit and with RM helped create the girl group Dream. It was the closeness of the way both boys (Jackson and RM) acted with Kay during interviews, the constant inst pictures with the twins and how fondly they spoke of her, the fact that Jackson just straight up said he loved her and RM saying that she was an inspiration for the song DNA, that made many fans speculate whether kay was dating either boy and between the internet fans it actually started a sort of war between the two fandoms, shipping #Kackson or #Kayjoon. 

Fans went real stalkerish during this time practically analyzing everything about Kay and these two boys, any pictures or interview that was made about them people analyzed. Half of Kays fans (and GOT7 stans) favored Jackson from the simple fact that hes always been close to her even before she met RM. They met through former Miss A member Jia and have been good friends ever since. Plus everyone knows he’ s like amazing with kids and Ella and Apollo seem to get along with him very well. Plus this sneaky boy is always posting pictures of the five of them (including his super cute dog) with the family emoji.

The case for Namjoon was that they clearly work so well together, even building a girl group and the long nights they have to pull together and on interviews they seem to be good friends. Plus he’s crazy smart and clearly cares for her, even on BTS TV he watched Ella and Apollo a few times and its honestly adorable how cute he is with them. Plus everyone can see how respectful he is of Kay. And this boy includes her in everything, Jungkook even joked they should just get a spare room for her at the house. 

During Dreams highly successful debut stage and first mini album Kay stepped back for a moment and headed back to the States to return to Left For Dead season 9 returning as Lana. However, both Namjoon and Jackson posted them still facetiming and fans from both sides of the argument demanded or begged or pressured her to pick one but Kay stayed illusive about her relationships with the boys. The views for the Left for Dead episode where Lana came back was highly rated and a few people thought that Negan and Kay would get back together especially since the chemistry was 100% for real like I loved it, it was steamy af. She actually received an Emmy for her performance as Lana a few months later and during this time Kay was seen out more and more with her children and her left for dead costars but many people focused on her outings with Negan but what kills me is that she was never just them two in these outings all her pictures Adi or Shawn were by her. 

Unfortunately for Kay just a week before the Emmy’s in which she was nominated for best guest actress as Lana Rhodes, she suffered from an armed break-in in her Los Angela’s home. The upcoming description is from what she said in interviews and released police reports, testimonys and her 911 call.  At approximately 4:30 am, Louis Tomlinson, former One Direction member broke in through the laundry room of Kay Snow’s LA home with a gun with a silencer, while Kay, Apollo and Ella slept upstairs. Louis then got out laundry room and headed upstairs while Hades, Kay’s German Shepard Dog awoke from his sleep and presumably found Louis as he exited the laundry room, he let out a few barks that alerted Kay and was silenced when Louis shot him and dragged his body into the laundry room. Quickly cleaning up the blood with his sweatshirt when Kay walked downstairs, he hid once again in the laundry room until he heard the girl walk back upstairs. As soon as she went upstairs, Louis exited the laundry room and made his way upstairs and into Kay Snow’s room and proceeded to watch her sleep until she awoke at 6:30 where as soon as her alarm went off he hid in her closest and she went into the bathroom and as she was headed into the hallway he sprung out and grabbed her. She fought back but he threatened her with the gun if she screamed and told her to do her morning routine as normal because “this is the new normal.” 

Kay proceeded to get her children ready for school, packing Ella and Apollo’s lunch while Louis watches and “he kept staring at the kids and he folded down every picture I had around the house of Max saying he was going to replace them all and when he was taking down the portait of Max and I, I wrote the note and sent the kids off.” In both Ella and Apollo’s lunches Kay wrote notes to there teachers both saying ‘Please call 911 and send them to my house SOS -Kay S.’ “I found Hades [her dog] and I was crying while I was cleaning him up, but he was so far gone he didn’t care or notice he took away my phone and every half an hour he was putting something up his nose, he was high out of his mind and waving that gun around. He was trying to test, see if I would fight him like I did before. I couldn’t- this time I had kids to think about. It was terrifying, he was ranting and raving how we were going to get married and how I was going to change mine and my kids named to Tomlinson. Just crazy shit like that and when the cops got there finally it got worse.” There was a standoff with the cops for 9 hours, where Louis held her hostage. Media went crazy, Adi Snow cutting her world tour short when she heard what happened. Louis then announced that if they cant live happily “then we can’t live at all.” He then proceeded to cook a dinner for him and kay lacing her drink with a sedative which “He didn’t notice I saw him put whatever it was in there and as soon as he set it down in front of me I threw It in his face and ran, that’s when he started shooting his gun, so I ran as fast as could upstairs and I went into the nearest room. Ella’s. I locked the door and I heard him coming up the stairs while shooting the gun. I was trying to climb out of the window but he shot off the lock and grabbed me back in and just kept hitting me with the gun. Then he dragged me downstairs and that’s when the swat team came in.”

[artificialqueens]

Roses and Violets (Katlaska) Chapter 2- Angelina

AN- Katya and Alaska, along with the other 8 queens, walk into the work room the next morning ready to compete for a spot in the drag race hall of fame. With all the surprises that Ru is throwing, they both are just trying to keep themselves together.

(Once again this story was betaed by the lovely, amazing Dottie. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I was a bitch to write. This chapter is almost 4k words, easily the longest single chapter I have ever written.)

“Счастливые голодные игры, суки.”, are the first words uttered in the work room the next morning. Katya struts through the doors confidently, or as confidently as a she can while also bursting from the seams with nerves. She still can’t believe that she got herself into this, what was she thinking? Shortly after making her opening remarks, she realizes she is the first one in the work room. She allows herself to take a deep breath and let some of the nerves slip away. ‘Good’ she thought, ‘Crisis about being critiqued the moment she walked in the door averted.’  

But she can’t help but think that maybe they put her first to show that it can only get better from here. She brushes those thoughts away immediately, ‘No Brian’ she thought, ‘We don’t think negatively about ourself anymore, remember?’  To combat that slight moment of weakness, she then immediately runs around the workroom while acting like her usual kooky self. Now she must wait for the next victim, I mean contestant.

A few minutes later, Katya hears the tell tale sign of clicking heels on floor. Her suspicions are proven correct as Detox ducks her way into the doorway. Well that’s one third of Rolaskatox right there. Katya theorizes that the other two members aren’t too far behind. She ignores the sliver of excitement she feels, as she moves to greet Detox.

They make small talk while waiting for whoever was next. Alyssa Edwards breaks the awkward tension with her huge personality the second she walks in the door as she heads straight for the mirror. Phi Phi O’Hara comes through the door next, speaking in riddles and looking like she just stepped out of a comic book.

Katya is caught off guard when Phi Phi says that she is afraid of kicking Katya off the show. She’s pretty sure that it’s meant to be a joke, and reacts appropriately. But there’s an inkling in the back of her mind that maybe Phi Phi isn’t joking. Maybe she is legitimately scared of the potential backlash that comes to whatever queen who manages to send Katya home.

When Katya was kicked off season 7 her fans attacked almost everyone, namely Kennedy and Jasmine. She loves her fans, but sometimes they can be so protective that they send hate and death threats to those who they think wronged her. She tried to pacify them before, but they can be very persistent. She hopes that this time around, everyone will come out unscathed.

When Ginger comes in, Katya is practically jumping in her seat because she was right, Ginger was trying to leave her hints! She runs to greet her friend, and envelopes her in a hug. “I knew it! I knew it!” Ginger shushes her, while rolling her eyes fondly before saying, “I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.” She follows that statement up with a sly wink.

When Miss Thick and Juicy herself walks into the door next and  immediately runs towards Detox, it is pretty obvious that at least Rotox is still going strong. Coco Montrese walks through next, serving her good old fashioned Dorito realness. It’s good to see that her and Alyssa are on good terms now, Katya is happy that she and the other queens will not be subjected to that feud continuing.

A black umbrella is the next thing seen in the work room doorway. Katya tries to keep her excitement in check, because there is only one person who can be behind it. If the umbrella wasn’t a strong enough clue, the next words that were heard confirm her hunch, “Greetings, my message for the human race is really quite simple, hieeee!” Katya can’t keep a smile off her face when Alaska emerges from the umbrella, wearing her usual trash bag couture.

When Alaska moves over to greet the other queens, Katya purposely puts herself in her path. She’s a little surprised that Alaska only leans in to give not only her but everyone she goes up to air kisses. She surprised because usually Justin, especially when dressed as Alaska, is quite affectionate. Not even Detox or Roxxxy get proper hugs. She assumes Alaska is putting on an aloof exterior for the cameras, and lets it go. Tatianna and Adore come in not long after, bringing the total number of all stars to 10.

“Who’s ready to make teams?” Tatianna asks. Katya can’t keep the obvious cringe off her face. She hopes and prays that she isn’t tied to another queen for a whole season, she can barely be responsible for herself let alone someone else.

If she HAS to be paired with a queen she would probably pick Ginger. The worked well together on season 7, and they have the potential to be the Rujubee of All Stars 2. They will hold hands and cry when then finally have to go up against each other in the lipsync. Ru will be so moved that she will keep them both, it’ll be great.

Katya is pulled out of her thoughts when the trademark siren blares, followed by the phrase that to this day haunts her dreams, “She done already had herses.”

“Hello, hello, hello.” Rupaul exclaims while he enters the workroom. All the queens hurry to stand in a horizontal line in front of him. Katya ends up between Coco and Detox, with Alaska on Detox’s other side.

Rupaul then proceeds to blow their collective minds when he drops the bomb that he will not be sending anyone home this season. Katya knows that she is probably being really naive, but she can’t help that her first thought is that no one is going home the whole season. Not only that but she could walk away from the competition $350,000 richer, or you know whatever the correct math is.

Rupaul surprises them once again when he reveals that there first mini challenge they all get to read their fellow queens to the ground. Phi Phi goes first, who is followed by Detox and then it is Katya’s turn. She reads Coco and Ginger, but her last read on how she thinks about Roxxxy every morning at the bus stop gets the biggest reaction. Alaska almost falling to the floor in laughter. Katya feels just a smidge of satisfaction that she was able to get that reaction out of her.  

Coco goes after her and says something about how Katya can see Alaska from her house. Katya assumes it was supposed to be a Sarah Palin reference, and ignores the fact that she wishes that was possible. Not for stalker purposes or anything like that and we are getting a bit off topic, moving on.

They all go saying things that are both funny and cringe-worthy, until Alaska is the last queen to take her turn. As expected she reads the house down, then proceeds to fall on her ass sticking her legs up in the air. Katya feels fondness sneaking up on her. Alaska wins the reading challenge, which Katya thinks was the obvious choice. Ru moves on to say that their first main challenge will be a talent show, or as he likes to call it, “All Stars Talent Show Extravaganza”. With that announcement he exits the room, leaving all the queens to their own devices.

Katya moves to the closest table and starts de-dragging. Roxxxy and Detox skip past holding hands. She overhears Alyssa tell Alaska that they are leaving her out. Alaska replies that she doesn’t do that anymore, as Rolaskatox obviously didn’t work out for her the first time. Katya hopes she is telling the truth, but she does believe that Rolaskatox will rear its glamorous head eventually. But nonetheless, she will enjoy the absence of the clique while it lasts.

“So, what are you going to be doing?” someone says from behind her. Katya startles and quickly turns around, coming face to face with Alaska. Before she can respond, Alaska continues “Are you dancing?”

Katya smiles before replying, “Uh, no. More like gymnastics, it’s kind of my strong suit.” Alaska lets out a little laugh before saying, “Yes it is. If I had your flexibility, I would be showing it off at all times.”

Katya isn’t sure if she is flirting, but just in case she is responds accordingly, “If you ever want to have a personal show of what I can do with my flexibility, you know where to find me…..in the dumpster out back.” She winks, and immediately burst into laughter.

Alaska laughs along with her, but Katya is pretty sure that she sees a flash of lust in her eyes. She must be imagining it though, why would Alaska ever want to sleep with her. Katya is an unorganized mess, while Alaska seems to have everything in her life together.

“What are doing?” Katya asks, trying to steer the conversation away from a possibly uncomfortable situation. Alaska seems to accept the change of topic because she answers, “I am a singer/songwriter so I will be singing a song I wrote.”

Katya responds with a huge grin on her face, “I’m sure you will be fantastic.” Alaska gives her a shy smile, before she prances away. Katya watches her go, with that earlier fond feeling creeping back in.

Katya is still distracted by Alaska that she doesn’t notice Ginger creeping up behind her. “What was that about?” Katya once again jumps. People really need to stop sneaking up on her or she will eventually have a heart attack. She takes a deep breath before turning to Ginger, making sure to put an innocent look on her face, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Ginger rolls her eyes, “Yeah, I bet you don’t.” Katya tries to distract Ginger by asking about her act. Ginger takes the bait, as she explains that she will be singing.

Katya believes she is in the clear until Ginger leans in close to her and whispers in her ear, “Just be careful, you can’t afford to be distracted in this lovely situation we have gotten ourselves into.” With that she walks away, leaving Katya to her thoughts. Not long after that the producers usher them out of the work room, and into cars that will take them back to the hotel.

The next morning they all make there way back into the workroom ready to start preparing for the day to come. Katya is fairly confident in her act so her usual anxiety is at ease for once.

Apparently her calmness wasn’t being felt by everyone in the room as she heard a familiar drawl from across the room, “I’m really nervous, I think it’s too good to be true. I still think people are going home.” And now Katya’s sense of stability is immediately shattered, thanks Alaska.

Though Katya does have to concede, it probably is too good to be true. But maybe that is exactly what Ru wants them to think. Then they’ll be even more shocked when an even bigger twist is announced. Who knows what goes on in Rupaul’s mind. Katya barely knows what’s going on in her own mind most of the time.

Alaska poses the question to Phi Phi and Tatianna on why they decided to come back for All Stars. Katya completely checks out, though she probably could guess what their responses are. Phi Phi needs to salvage her bad reputation and Tatianna needs to prove that she still got it.

Katya is busy going over her gymnastic routine in her head, and this is why she is once again alarmed by Alaska’s voice. “What about you Katya?”

“What about me?” Katya responds, not sure where the conversation has gotten to while her attention has been elsewhere. “Why did you decide to come back?” Alaska asks, coming closer to Katya and coming to a stop right next to her.

Katya is a bit caught off guard but Alaska is looking at her waiting for her response so she answers, “Um well I think I decided to come back because my head wasn’t 100% in it the first time around. I was too busy wrestling with my own demons to focus on actually winning the crown.”

Alaska nods her head in understanding, “Yeah, I get that. When I was on season 5, I was so worried about being compared to Sharon I couldn’t fully focus on what was important.”

Katya isn’t exactly sure how to respond but Alaska continues looking around to make sure the cameras weren’t focused on them, “For what it’s worth, I really admire you for being so open with your struggles. Sure people know about me getting sober, but they don’t know how hard it was.”

Katya is about to open her mouth but Alaska once again cuts her off, “If you ever need to talk to someone who knows what you are going through, you can always talk to me.” With that she winks, and walks away.  Katya is thrown off by the gesture because she knows that it wasn’t Alaska talking to Katya, but Justin talking to Brian.

Katya quickly whirls her head around, seeing if anyone caught this exchange. Everyone’s attention seems to be elsewhere, until Katya turns her attention to Ginger, who gives her an exasperated look and shakes her head.

Eventually it is time for the talent show. Katya can’t help but purposely sit close to Alaska, but she is sure to at least leave a seat between them which Roxxxy quickly takes. Katya laughs and claps accordingly, but her focus isn’t completely there as she continues to steal glances at Alaska.

It gets so bad and obvious that Roxxxy notices her, catching Katya’s eyes and raising a perfectly drawn-on eyebrow. Katya tries to smile, though she is pretty sure it looks more like a grimace and quickly turns her attention to the stage where Detox is spreading paint on her ass.

After Detox finishes, a producer comes up to her Katya signaling that she should head back stage to get ready for her act. The moment the producer leaves, the nerves that have been dormant all day come up all at once. Katya takes a deep breath, gets up from her chair, and moves towards the end of the aisle.

A hand reaches out and grabs her arm before she can exit the aisle fully. Her eyes trail up the arm, until she is looking right into Alaska’s brown colored contacts. “Good luck.” Alaska says, with a huge grin on her face before she takes her hand away. Katya smiles back and fully exits the aisle.

As she is heading backstage she realizes that all her nerves are once again settled. Who knew one touch could appease her anxiety, at least for a little while.

Katya thinks her routine got over well, the audience seem to enjoy her slamming her vagina into the ground. When Katya makes her way back to take her seat, Alaska meets her eyes once again. This time she gives her a thumbs up accompanied by a huge smile. Katya grins from ear to ear as she takes her seat.

Katya actually pays attention to the next two acts. She is so occupied with watching the stage that she doesn’t even notice Alaska’s absence until she turns her head after Roxxxy’s performance and finds her seat empty. She doesn’t have to chance to wonder long about Alaska’s whereabouts though before she flounces out onto the stage.

Alaska sings a song about how gay she is, and Katya laughs and claps along with the rest of the audience. Katya has seen Alaska perform live a few times before, and she can’t help but classify Alaska a natural performer. She seems so at home on the stage, and Katya mentally adds that to the list of things she admires about the 49th state.

When Alaska is done with her performance, she makes her way off the stage and takes the seat right next to Katya. Katya tenses, not exactly sure what to do with Alaska so close. Alaska leans closer and whispers in Katya’s ear. “So, how did I do?”

Katya audibly gulps, before responding “Uh, I think you did great.” Alaska smiles, “Really? Thanks!” She squeezes Katya’s arm and leans away. Katya takes a deep breath and turns her attention towards the stage. Tatianna closes out the show with a spoken word piece titled “Same Parts”. Katya, along with the rest of the audience, is living for every second of it.

The audience leave once the show is over and the queens all conjugate on the stage and wait for their critiques. Rupaul then proceeds to drop a huge bomb on them. While Rupaul isn’t going to be eliminating any queens this season, queens are still going to be going home each week. The queens will be eliminating each other. Katya doesn’t think she can take anymore surprises.

Thankfully some higher power is on her side this week as Katya, Alyssa and Detox are called safe right off the back. However instead of being told to head to the untucked lounge like they are used to, they are told to stand at the back of the stage. Katya is pretty sure that Ru decided to keep them there for a reason, as she looks at Alyssa and Detox she is quite positive that they are thinking the exact same thing.

As the safe three come to a stop at the back of the stage, the critiques start. Adore is first and she gets absolutely eviscerated by Michelle. Katya’s eyes widen in shock, and with a quick look around she sees that she isn’t the only one surprised by Michelle’s bluntness. All the thoughts that Katya had about all stars just being a fun experience are quickly dashed.

If she thought season 7 was hard, it is quite obvious now All Stars 2 will be even worse. Katya thinks that Rupaul kept the safe queens on stage so they can see while they may be safe now, that won’t always be the case. They can slip up once and get the same treatment Adore is being subjected to now. The judges continue their critiques before naming Tatianna and Roxxxy as the top two, and Adore, Coco and Phi Phi are revealed to be the bottom 3. With those announcements, they are told to make their way back to the work room.

When they make there way back, they sit on the couch and discuss how the deliberation should go. “How should we do this? Should we eliminate or biggest competition, or should we eliminate the person who we think did the worst in the challenge?” Roxxxy asks. Katya continues, “Do you eliminate the weakest or do you eliminate the strongest?”

Ginger cuts in by asking, “And if you squeak by because of a friendship, don’t you think the backlash from that will be even worse?” Katya is pretty sure that Ginger casts a glance at each former member of Rolaskatox while saying that, but they all are none the wiser as they nod in agreement.

“This sucks, but a decision has to be made.” Alaska projects, while all the other queens attention is pulled towards her. “ My perspective is you have to base it off the challenge itself. That seems like the only way we can find some fairness out of this entire crazy thing that Ru has thrown at us.”

Roxxxy verbally agrees by turning to Alaska fully and saying, “If I do bad one week and end up in the bottom, please send me home.” Alaska nods in acknowledgement but casts her eyes to the floor, seeming to be deep in thought.  Roxxxy obviously doesn’t pick up on something being wrong because she pulls the bottom 3 girls aside one by one so they can say their piece on why they deserve to stay.

Alaska, who was sitting on a chair behind the couches, sits down on the cushion next to Katya. Katya reaches out and put her hand on Alaska thigh, successfully getting her attention, “Hey, you okay?” Alaska looks up from the ground and into Katya’s blue eyes.

On the inside Alaska is freaking out. Even though all the queens had agreed to base the elimination of of the challenge going forward, she isn’t confident she will be able to stick to it in the future. If one week both Roxxxy and Detox were in the bottom and Alaska was in the top, she isn’t sure if she would be able to follow through with sending one of her best friends home. She knows that friendship shouldn’t be a factor because overall it’s an unfair advantage. But she puts all those worries aside for now, she will worry about all that when the time comes.

For now she rest her hand on top of Katya’s and squeezes, “Not exactly, but I will be.”, she says before she takes her hand away and walks towards the mirrors. Katya watches her go, not saying a word.

Tatianna and Roxxxy lip sync to “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift. Roxxxy is declared the winner, and she decides to eliminate Coco. One down, nine to go. Now all the queens know what is expected of them each and every week. Friendships will be tested, hearts will be broken, and they just have to endure the bumpy ride.

[artificialqueens]

Primary Care (a.k.a the Poundcake ficlet collection) 7/13 [Katya/Alaska] - Spoky

A/N: I have no idea whether Kim Chi likes to be called Sang-Young, or just Sang. So I went with Sang-Young, because that is his name and Koreans would use that. It is also my first time writing him, and I haven’t read anything he’s in - so I struggled a bit with the characterisation (if someone knows a fic where he’s written well, send my way please!). I’m still trying to figure out what type of person he really is, I’m exploring it, so, if it’s clunky (and it is), I’m sorry.

This is probably my least favourite PC chapter so far, it’s so… Forced. Literally. I was basically banging my head to the keyboard and yelling ‘get out get out get out!’. But I hope you guys find it at least tolerable. Apatheticskeleton loved it, but as the (brilliant and patient) beta, she’s biased.

Also, thank you for every note, feedback and reblog. I wish I could demonstrate how much they mean to me. All questions, requests and feedback either here, or @aqspoky, thanks! xx

Primary care  (a.k.a. the Poundcake ficlet collection)

Chapter 7/13 - ‘Puppet’

Brian was excited. This was going to be brilliant and solve all of his problems. Every. Single. One. When Trixie had reluctantly agreed to the movie night, on the condition that she could bring Kim Chi with her, ‘For emotional support.’ Brian had immediately agreed. Whatever it took to make Tracy sit down and watch Contact.

He had made the effort to buy chips, and as he didn’t actually own a DVD player, he had downloaded a copy of the movie. Then he had spent two hours on Youtube learning how to connect his laptop to the TV without getting even slightly annoyed. Because after this night, Tracy would understand all the references and jokes. She would acknowledge his superiority as a movie critic and learn the importance and meaning of life. They could make Contact-jokes together – rather than Trixie trying to strangle him after one – and they would make more money on UNHhhh! Because, obviously, they would laugh more and the fans would love it! And he would get a raise. And RuPaul would call and tell them she had made a terrible mistake, take the crown away from Violet and give it to them to share. Brian didn’t dwell too deeply on why they were given the season 7, rather than the All Stars 2 crown in his fantasy. As the newly crowned Royal Couple they would reign in harmony consisting of Mattel makeup and weird humour, they would ban seriousness, insist on better social media behaviour and force everyone to accept feminism as the most superior ideology. Every twink in town would want a piece and Katya would never ever have to worry about money, sex, fame or friendship. Because that was exactly how amazing this movie was.

The doorbell rang and Brian wanted to squeal - only couple of more hours to his new perfect life! He ran to the door and was smirking widely as he opened it.

‘Welcome, welcome,’ he sing-songed and stepped aside so that Brian and Sang-Young could walk in.

‘Have you seen the new Marco Marco show? Sang was telling me about it in the elevator and I really want to see if Raja was actually high!’ Brian started without a greeting and walked straight to the kitchen to put down the bags he was carrying. Sang-Young followed him in and greeted Brian at the door with a nod and an apologetic smile.

‘No, haven’t seen it,’ Brian shrugged while closing the door. He hadn’t been there and did not really see the point of watching a fashion show from a screen. He walked next to Brian to see what he had brought.

‘Brian?’ came Sang-Young’s uncertain voice behind the pair and both Brians turned to face him, replying simultaneously: ‘Hmm?’ ‘Yes?’

Sang-Young eyed between them in confusion. ‘Ok, that’s just weird.’ He was quiet for a moment and then shook his head. ‘Ok, I’m going to call you Katya, because… Because Brian is Brian.’

Brian smirked and grabbed the red lipstick he saw lying on the kitchen counter. He turned, opened the lipstick, grabbed Brian’s chin and smirked while starting to add the colour onto his lips: ‘See, Katya, Brian is Brian.’

Katya rolled her eyes. ‘I really don’t need to be dolled up to be called Katya,’ she insisted.

‘Oh but you do, you so do,’ Brian continued and pressed the lipstick to Katya’s cheek. ‘Beauty spot,’ he explained, smiled and turned back to the bags he had brought.

‘So, we decided that we’re doing vegetables and dip as a movie snack, so we got carrots, cucumber, tomatoes, broccoli and cauliflower - where are your chopping boards?’ Brian explained and looked at Katya, expectantly.

She pointed at one of the drawers and looked at the vegetables on the counter, confused. ‘But, I’m not on a diet?’ She then noted, pouting.

Brian turned on his heels and Sang-Young crossed his arms over his chest. Brian frowned accusingly. Katya got the message. She lifted her hands in surrender and smiled the sweetest smile she could muster: ‘But because I’m a very supportive friend and have actually considered becoming vegan, I might as well start today!’

She reached for a knife from one of the drawers and started chopping.

‘That’s what I thought,’ Brian snorted and Sang-Young chuckled.

‘You can’t actually eat the dip if you go vegan,’ Sang-Young pointed out and tried really hard not to laugh as he watched Katya dramatically crumble to the floor.

‘But, but, but,’ Katya fake-sobbed. ‘How can I eat fresh, raw broccoli without a dip? It’ll, it’ll be disgusting…’

‘By not becoming vegan, you half-wit, just vegetarian,’ Brian huffed and kept chopping the broccoli. Katya jumped up.

‘Oh, you genius!’ she exclaimed, but before she had the chance to hug Brian, the man had turned and was pointing the knife at her. ‘Do. Not. Kiss me with those lips.’

‘Not even a little?’ Katya confirmed, looking at the knife.

‘No,’ was Brian’s forceful reply.

Katya glanced at Sang-Young speculatively, but the Korean had made an ex from his hands and was shaking his head forcefully. He was not up to kissing either. Bummer. Katya shrugged, indifferently. ‘Can’t blame girl for trying.’

Brian rolled his eyes. ‘You could try helping, rather than trying to molest someone.’

‘Molesting someone helps me with my anxiety,’ Katya noted.

‘I wish you used xanax, like regular people, rather than self-medicating with weirdness,’ Brian huffed.

‘It’s the money issue,’ Katya pondered. ‘Weird is cheaper.’

‘Not with hookers,’ Sang-Young thought out loud and Katya and Brian turned to him in surprise. ‘Or, that’s what I’ve heard,’ he added. Katya and Brian both snickered.

‘Right you are, sis, right you are!’

‘Can we watch the Marco Marco show before the film?’ Brian asked after composing himself.

Katya shrugged indifferently: ‘Well, I mean, I assume it’s on Youtube?’

‘Yeah, and I know how to connect your laptop to a TV, so we can watch from a bigger screen -  we even brought the adapter,’ Sang-Young offered and Katya swore silently. She had not only bought the adapter, but also wasted two hours on Youtube earlier for nothing.

‘It’s already connected,’ Katya muttered and Brian stopped chopping.

‘You’re kidding?’

Katya shook her head, refusing to meet Brian’s eyes as the man huffed in annoyance.

‘This bitch refuses to buy an adapter, claiming she does not need one, and we end up watching hours of Netflix on this teeny-tiny laptop. Then, one mention of Contact. ONE! And she buys an adapter… Fucking unbelievable,’ Brian shook his head and went back to chopping.  

‘It’s in the livingroom,’ Katya said helpfully to Sang-Young and showed the way. She could feel Brian’s annoyance on her as she walked away from the kitchen.

‘Oh, nice, can I?’ Sang-Young asked as they arrived to the living room and indicated towards the laptop. Katya nodded and chose the right setting from the television. In two seconds they had Youtube on the screen and then they also had ‘#MarcoMarcoShow | Collection Five | A Night In The Red Light’ from Wow Presents.

‘It’s over 30 minutes long?’ Katya asked, slightly frustrated. She had been promised a movie night. A movie night that might not actually change her life at all, but at least she could watch her favourite movie with her friends.

‘Yes, it is, and it’s a good compromise. You watch this with us and then we watch Contact with you. Afterwards we’ll make a pact not to torture each other ever again,’ Brian reasoned and set a bowl of vegetables and a bowl of dip onto the coffee table.

‘You’re done?’ Katya asked, slightly impressed how quickly Brian had prepared the snacks.

‘Yes, because I’m very efficient woman and can do multiple things at once, unlike some,’ Brian said and took a seat at the sofa. He was clearly still annoyed. Katya glanced at Sang-Young, who shrugged and took a seat at the only arm chair, forcing Katya to take a seat next to Brian. Katya didn’t necessarily agree that she had done anything wrong, but she understood where he was coming from. At least she thought she did, in theory.

‘I’m sorry,’ Katya said quiety as the show started. Brian rolled his eyes, but lifted his arm, so that she could cuddle closer. Katya leaned in and smiled. She turned her gaze to the TV and just a couple of seconds into the show it hit her, why people might want to spend 30 or so minutes watching a Marco Marco show. She could list two excellent reasons for it: Half-naked, and men.

Brian and Sang-Young started to discuss whom they found attractive. Who could walk and who could not. Katya was just enjoying the eye candy.

‘Girl! He totally broke one of the poles!’ Brian exclaimed and pointed at the screen. ‘Go back, go back!’

Sang-Young leaned to the laptop and re-set the time.

‘Not that much, just before Courtney,’ Brian instructed.

Sang-Young clicked the time to 4:00 and pressed play.

‘Look at the guy next to Courtney,’ Brian explained. The entire group burst to laughter as they watched one of the models struggle with a pole, trying to be discreet.

‘Oh my god, look at him work it after destroying the set. I bet his boyfriend is like ‘This is the reason I cannot take you anywhere!’,’ Brian laughed.

‘Or maybe that’s why he takes him everywhere. Entertainment value,’ Sang-Young chuckled and Katya had to agree. She reached for a carrot, dipped it and fed Brian, who didn’t once move his eyes from the screen. He seemed completely captivated by the show and to Katya, that was a challenge. She waited patiently as Brian chewed, swallowed and then promptly offered him a piece of broccoli. Then a cucumber, a carrot, a piece of cauliflower, a second, and as she was reaching for the first tomato, to offer it to the completely oblivious Brian, she heard a familiar tune.

~~ La la-la-la-la // La la-la-la-la ~~

~~ La la-la-la-la // La la-la-la-la ~~

She glanced at the screen and saw models emerging from behind the curtains. Everything was lit red as the bodies slithered to their places and then, there she was. Standing taller than any of the models, Alaska.

Katya hadn’t had time to wonder whether or not Alaska actually would be part of the show, but now seeing her there, dressed up in something that reminded Katya of zebras, it made sense. She got the body for it, and the walk. She was wearing black heels and Katya could imagine her complaining about the height of them. Alaska’s makeup was different, there was something not quite Alaska about it, and Katya had to wonder whether it had been hers or the art director’s choice. The music playing on top of the video was completely off and Katya had to assume that it had been added afterwards; she had seen some bad lipsyncs in her life, even from Alaska, but this time the fault was clearly in editing. Alaska had glitter all over her body and she sparkled as she moved on the stage. She moved her hips from side to side and her hair bounced with her steps. The mic mostly covered her mouth but Katya could imagine the full lips forming the words. To Katya, she looked beautiful. Then the number was over and the lights were shut. Another song started.

Katya shook her head a bit and turned back to the tomato she had picked up earlier, to feed Brian. There was nothing on her hand, however, and Brian was looking at her with a blank expression. Katya looked at her empty fingers and smiled slightly to Brian.

‘I’ll be right back. Need to smoke,’ Katya said and jumped up. Sang-Young reached to pause the video.

‘Ah, no need. I’ll be back in five,’ Katya smiled and walked to the kitchen. Brian and Sang-Young exchanged a look.

Katya picked up her phone from the kitchen and walked to the balcony. Outside she leaned to the wall and fiddled with the phone. Like she had for the past five days. She once again opened WhatsApp and scrolled down to find Justin’s name on the list. She opened the message, the one she had sent days ago, and stared at the two blue ticks underneath the text. It had been read, but there never had been a reply. She sighed and closed the screen. There was no point at staring at the message, staring wouldn’t suddenly generate a reply. She sighed and grabbed the the pack of cigarettes lying on the balcony table. She lit one and took a deep inhale. She guessed she had her answer on what Justin wanted, or didn’t want, as the case may have been.

The balcony door opened and she could see Brian’s smiling face at the door way.

‘Hey there, you ok?’ Brian asked and stepped to the balcony.

‘M’hm,’ Katya nodded and smiled back. The faking came naturally, but felt uncomfortable.

‘Still no reply, huh?’ Brian said then and glanced to the phone on Katya’s hand.

‘Yeah, but I bet it’s nothing. She probably just melted, you know, it gets hot in Brazil,’ Katya joked, knowing very well that the Alaska melting joke was worn out. There was no humour in her voice.

‘Or found someone tall, handsome and mentally stable for herself,’ Brian noted, leaning next to Katya.

‘Yeah, he probably has a nice hairline too,’ Katya continued.

‘And a good sense of humour,’ Brian agreed.

‘Bitch,’ Katya laughed and felt better. Brian somehow always knew what to say. Katya finished her cigarette in the comfortable silence they shared.

‘Wanna go back inside?’ Brian asked and opened the door.

‘Yeah, but I don’t-’

‘-Feel like watching Contact?’ Brian interrupted. She nodded.

‘Thank the lord for small mercies!’ Brian exclaimed. ‘I knew there was a reason I liked Thunderfuck, that girl is always at the right place at the right time!’ He did a small victory dance. ‘Sang! Change of plans! We’re watching Friends!’

Katya shook her head in amusement while walking back to the living room. ‘Season eight!’ she yelled in her contribution.

They had started from the beginning of season eight and just finished ‘The One with the Videotape’ when Brian wanted a toilet break. He had just gotten back and Sang-Young was about to click for episode five to start when there was a knock on the door.

Brian glanced at Katya. ‘You expecting someone?’

Katya shook her head. ‘They have the wrong door, just play.’

Sang-Young did as asked. Matthew Perry’s name had just flashed at the TV when they heard the knock again, this time more forceful.

‘I think they have convinced themselves that they have the right flat,’ Brian commented and Katya rose, reluctantly.

‘Fucking Mormons,’ she muttered under her breath. ‘I’ll show you some true gender bending realness.’ She grabbed a bright red shawl and a fan to match from the bookshelf while walking past and marched to the door.  

Sang-Young and Brian smirked to each other and hurried after her, peeking to the hallway from the kitchen door. This would be a show not to miss.

Katya wore the shawl, opened the fan and was ready to put on the most flamboyant gay act as she opened the door. There were no Mormons wanting to talk to her, however. Instead she was faced with a skinny, tall guy, dressed all in black, carrying a red shoulder bag. Justin.

Justin was looking at Katya in all of her glory, with the red shawl, red fan, red lipstick and a red spot of what appeared to be lipstick, next to her nose. Justin smiled at the sight, but decided to keep to the script he had prepared in his mind earlier. He lifted his left hand and showed Katya a phone with a shattered screen.

‘I know it’s a fucking bad excuse, but it’s the only one I’ve got,’ he said then, uncertainly.

Katya closed the fan and stared at the phone. What was Justin saying? That his phone broke and he couldn’t have texted Katya back? For five days? Did they not sell phones in Brazil? And then the phone vibrated, made a bling-sound for a received message and the screen lit. Katya could see from the notifications that the message was from Sharon: ‘And don’t fuck it up.’

It worked.

She glanced back to Justin who was now frowning and refused to meet Katya’s eyes. She didn’t say anything and the silence finally forced Justin to look at her.

‘I said it was bad,’ he noted and bit his lower lip.

Katya had two options; she could open the door or she could close it – and that would be it. No relationship other than business, no stress, no media frenzy, no Thunderfuck-Zamolodchikova tumblr gifs, no Bianca del Rio reads, no complicated drama, no responsibility of anyone else’s mental health, no meeting Needles when she didn’t feel like it, no awkward chats with other RuGirls, no need to sort out this Rio mess, no inappropriate comments or nosy inquiries from Brian - or from anyone else for that matter. There really was a long list of reasons to close the door.

Katya sighed and stepped aside, opening the door slightly in invitation. Because, apparently, she had some type of compulsion to prove to the world that he was completely fucking insane. Justin sighed in relief and took a step closer, he then stopped and looked at Katya.

‘For whatever it’s worth at this point. I’m sorry,’ he said quietly.

Katya sighed. This should’ve been the time and place to talk about this, but the reality was that Brian and Sang-Young sat in the living room and Katya could almost hear them holding their breaths. They had even paused Friends, which made the flat suspiciously quiet… She glanced over her shoulder and proved her suspicions correct: the two were not in the living room but looking at her from the kitchen door. She really did not want get into this discussion with Justin in front of two other queens, but at the same time she felt like Justin deserved to be humiliated, just a little.

‘Sorry for what?’ Katya asked, tightly. ‘For not acting like a decent human being and answering the text, or for coming up with a lame ass excuse that your phone is broken, or for coming to my door unannounced and interrupting the best threesome I’ve had the pleasure to engage in for months?’

Justin was about to say ‘all of the above’, but paused as the words registered. He took a step back and stared at Katya with a mixture of disappointment, regret and shame. Katya was looking at him expectantly.

‘I…’ Justin was speechless. Then he heard laughter from inside that was clearly Trixie. Brian was having a threesome with Trixie? Justin’s thoughts were like a hurricane; going so quickly in circles that he couldn’t catch any of them. He stared at Katya and finally also her poker face cracked. She doubled up with laughter and the movement revealed Brian and Sang-Young to Justin.

Katya was snickering, Brian was trying to reach composure and Sang-Young was smiling while holding what seemed like a pile of carrots on his left hand.

‘I…’ Justin still couldn’t find any words. It definitely did not look like the three had been engaging in any type of sexual activity, and Justin had always assumed that the dynamics among the three were more or less platonic. He glanced at Katya, confused.

‘Maybe I should go?’ he asked, uncertainly.

‘For fucks sake. Get in – you elongated, legless reptile,’ Katya snorted and pointed her finger for direction. Justin stepped carefully inside and kept staring at Trixie and Kim. Awkward did not even start to describe it.

‘Hi,’ he greeted uncertainly.

‘Hieee,’ Brian grinned at him and turned on his heels to walk back to the living room.

‘We’re watching Friends,’ Sang-Young said expositionally and popped a carrot into his mouth before following Brian.

Justin turned to Katya, who had closed the door and was now looking at Justin seriously. She took a deep breath.

‘We’re talking about this, but not here, and not now,’ she said firmly.

Justin nodded and a spark of hope lit inside him. He knew he had explaining to do, he’d prepared for it. The only thing he had been unsure of was whether Brian would want to listen. Truthfully speaking, the situation was better than he could’ve hoped. He was with Brian, but didn’t have to deal with the difficult topics. He swallowed and was little taken aback, as he suddenly felt strong arms pulling him close.

‘I’m happy to see you,’ Katya whispered and kissed him with force. Justin answered the kiss with relief, happiness and joy. Then Katya stopped abruptly and walked after Trixie and Kim, leaving Justin to compose himself.

‘There’s glasses in the cupboard over the sink, if you want something to drink,’ she called out as she went. Justin closed his eyes and sighed. Yes, water would be nice. He placed his bag on the floor and put his coat onto the rack before walking to the kitchen. He could hear Friends starting in the living room and shook his head in amusement. Threesomes, jesus, how did Brian come up with this stuff?

He reached for a glass and filled it with water. He then walked to the living room and noticed that all the seats were taken. He walked to the sofa and took a seat at the arm rest on Katya’s side. Justin could feel that the atmosphere was still a little awkward. He took a sip of his water and reached for a piece of broccoli. He was munching the vegetable as Sang-Young snatched a paper napkin from the table and handed it to him. Confused, Justin accepted the gift.

‘You have lipstick all over,’ Sang-Young explained rather indifferently and turned back to the programme. The comment made Brian jump at his seat and take a good look at first Justin and then Katya, whose lipstick was nowhere as neat as what Brian had it painted.

‘Right,’ Brian commented dryly, crashed back to the sofa and turned his gaze towards the TV. Katya started to snicker quietly, which gradually grew into a full laughter. She reached for Justin, who had dipped the napkin into the water he was holding and was slowly wiping his face clean. Justin felt arms around his waist and was then pulled next to, and little bit onto, Katya on the sofa.

‘Jesus, give a girl a warning, would you?’ Brian snorted and made more space at his end. Katya sifted and finally Justin was nicely tucked between the arm rest and Katya. He reached his arm over Katya’s shoulders and brushed his lips over Katya’s temple.

‘Thank you,’ Justin whispered and Brian groaned on the other side of Katya in frustration. Katya snickered at her friend’s discomfort.

It was three episodes later when Sang-Young paused the show and looked at the trio on the sofa. Brian’s head had fallen back, against the backrest, and he was snoring quietly. Justin had turned his upper body towards Katya and curled up to her, his arm resting over her waist. He also seemed to be asleep. Katya sat smiling between the two and met Sang-Young’s gaze.

‘I guess we should call it a night?’ Katya asked and Sang-Young chuckled. It was more like that they already had.

‘I never knew he snored,’ Sang-Young commented then, looking at Brian.

Katya shrugged. ‘I guess it’s the position.’

Sang-Young nodded and stood up. He groaned loudly as he stretched and then yawned straight after.

The sound stirred Brian, who hadn’t been sleeping for long.

‘Huh? We’re leaving?’ Brian asked, and rubbed his eyes while getting back to a more seated position.

‘Yeah, it’s late,’ Sang-Young noted and started cleaning the snacks on the table.

‘Leave it, I’ll do it tomorrow,’ Katya said, also through a yawn. Brian glanced at her and took note of the tall figure attached to her side.

‘He really asleep?’ he asked and nodded towards Justin.

‘Yeah I think so,’ Katya replied quietly and shook Justin a bit. ‘Hey, Lasky, how about you wake up, hm?’

Justin groaned and unconsciously moved away from the touch, pushing the half-full glass of water, which he had earlier abandoned on the sofa’s arm, into his lap.

Katya was immediately up and Justin looked at the water, still half-asleep. He slowly lifted the glass up as Sang-Young threw the rest of the pack of paper napkins into his lap.

‘’m sorry,’ Justin mumbled.

‘You’re the one who’s wet,’ Brian pointed out and chuckled. Justin answered with a sleepy smile while making the napkins soak all the possible water they could. He was wet, but at least the sofa wasn’t.

‘Ok, I think we’re off,’ Brian stated and looked at Sang-Young. ‘You ready, girl?’

Brian got a nod as a reply and as he walked past Justin, he briefly patted his head. ‘See you around, Lasky.’

Justin nodded in response. ‘Yeah.’

Katya walked to the front door with two of her guests and leaned to the wall.

‘You ok with us leaving?’ Brian asked and gave her a knowing look. Katya appreciated the concern, but nodded.

‘I think I’ve survived deeper shit than this,’ she snorted confidently. Honestly speaking she wasn’t entirely convinced. Brian could see through her and gave her an amused look.

‘Ok, well, you know where to find me.’

The pair left and Katya sighed. Game on.

She stepped into the small bathroom next to the front door and wiped her face clean with some toilet paper. He wasn’t entire sure how he wanted to deal with Justin and truthfully would’ve liked a little bit more time to think. He flushed the toilet, even if he hadn’t used it and proceeded to clean his hands. Maybe the ‘just friends’-route would be for the best? He wanted Justin to be part of his life and as the younger man clearly wasn’t ready for anything more, Brian should insist on being just friends. On the long run it would be easier and better for both of them.

He dried his hands with a towel and stared at his reflection. He would find someone else, someone easier, more convenient and less complicated. Someone shorter. That was important. Definitely shorter. He would tell Justin that he had enjoyed the flirting, and that Justin gave amazing head, but that they could flirt with anyone, and he could get blowjobs anywhere. He would explain why it was for the best and how they could keep things exactly how they had been before Rio. Brian shook himself in preparation, arranged an easy grin to his face and walked out, ready for the challenge that waited in the living room. He stepped out from the bathroom and kept repeating silently the monologue he was about to perform when his journey was interrupted by the sight in the kitchen.

Justin was leaning to the kitchen counter and was holding the vegetable bowl, which was filled with wet napkins. On the counter next to the sink Brian could see four used glasses and in the sink there were the dip bowl along with the knives and chopping boards Trixie had left lying around earlier.

‘I didn’t know where the bin is,’ Justin explained, looking down at the bowl he was holding.

Brian nodded and opened the cabinet that hid the trash can.

‘Ah, right,’ Justin smiled and walked to empty the bowl. Brian was staring at the man in front of him, who had just cleaned after a movie night he had barely been part of. Justin placed the bowl onto the counter, next to the four glasses and turned to Brian.

‘It’s kinda late so, I think I -’

‘Stay?’ Brian interrupted and thought to himself why he even bothered making decisions with himself, he was an unreliable prick.

‘Ok,’ was Justin’s simple, immediate answer.

Brian walked to the dishwasher, opened it and started filling it with the dishes. Justin helped by moving the dishes closer for Brian to reach.

‘How was Rio?’ Brian asked to fill the silence. He wasn’t really ready for anything serious, but the silence made him uneasy.

‘Warm,’ Justin replied. Brian lifted his eyes as Justin did not continue.

‘That’s it? Warm?’ he snorted. Justin smiled slightly.

‘Well, it was also crowded.’

‘Sounds like Violet Chachki’s asshole to me,’ Brian snorted and Justin laughed. Brian closed the dishwasher.

‘You would know, now wouldn’t you?’ Justin smiled, remembering Violet’s words about Brian.

‘How do you figure?’ Brian asked and leaned to the counter.

‘She told me,’ Justin smirked and took a step forward, placing a hand on either side of Brian on the counter, trapping him.

‘She did, did she?’ Brian grinned and looked up to Justin, placing his hands onto his chest.

‘Yes, she did. She told me all about how she wanted to be taken by an older man and feel used. She described in haunting detail the size of your cock, and how you tied her up and fucked her into oblivion,’ Justin said, meeting Brian’s eyes confidently. Brian’s grin changed into a smirk.

‘So, the only fact you really have is that I fucked her?’ Brian asked, amused.

‘Basically,’ Justin snorted and lowered his gaze. Brian laughed out loud.

‘She did advise me to fuck you out of my system, though,’ Justin said and pressed his nose against Brian’s cheekbone.

‘Sounds like her, self-righteous bitch,’ Brian snorted and placed his hands on the counter, pushing himself to sit on it. He then wrapped his legs around Justin’s knees and pulled the younger man between his legs.

‘You like her,’ Justin answered simply and leaned in.

‘As a sister, yes,’ Brian confirmed and wrapped his arms around Justin’s neck.

‘But not as a lover?’ Justin asked, little uncertain, meeting Brian’s eyes.

‘I guess I could, she’s beautiful,’ Brian reasoned. Justin lowered his chin and nodded.

‘Yeah, she is.’

‘Jealous?’ Brian asked. He placed his fingers under Justin’s chin and lifted, to be able to meet his eyes.

Justin’s reluctant answer was simple and truthful: ‘Yes.’

Brian smiled. ‘No need. You’re here, aren’t you?’

Justin nodded and closed his eyes. Yes. Yes, he was. He took a deep breath and forced the emerging fear to disappear. There was nothing to be scared of. It was just Brian. Katya. It was just Katya and nothing bad was happening.

Brian could feel the change in Justin as the younger man tensed. Had he said something wrong? Or maybe the topic was taking a too serious tone? He needed to change the direction of the conversation. He sighed and wondered how much sleep Justin had gotten in Rio, when had he even come back to the U.S.?

‘When did you come back?’ Brian asked and gently stroked Justin’s right arm.

‘This morning,’ Justin said quietly, not opening his eyes.

Brian sighed. This really was not the time or place for a serious talk; he needed to think and Justin needed to sleep.

‘Why don’t we go to bed?’ Brian asked then, and squeezed Justin’s shoulder. It really was late, and it was the easiest thing to do right now.

Justin finally looked up, but he looked uncertain. ‘I-um, I don’t think I’m up for anything,’ he said quietly, like apologising.

Brian chuckled and dropped a small kiss on the corner of Justin’s mouth. ‘You’re up for this,’ he smiled and continued: ‘It involves pillows, a duvet, an ok mattress and sleep - lots of sleep.’

Brian slid down from the counter.

‘Come on,’ he said and offered his hand to Justin, who took it without a pause.

They walked to the bedroom, hand in hand, and Brian offered Justin a T-shirt to sleep in. They changed, brushed their teeth with the only toothbrush Brian happened to own and crawled into the bed. Justin snuggled closer immediately after Brian had settled and threw his hand over Brian’s waist.

‘Brian?’ Justin whispered in the darkness.

‘Hm?’

There was a short silence and Brian wondered whether Justin had heard him.

‘Thank you.’

Brian frowned. ‘For?’

Again there was a silence and Brian sighed.

‘For lending me the toothbrush,’ Justin said then, quietly. There was so much more he needed to thank for, so many things he needed to apologise for, needed to explain – but right here, right now, this was everything he was capable of.

Brian chuckled.

‘Any time, honey.’