#the entire situation is fucked up okay
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i think its funny how ill think about nicholas and hudson or, to an extent, nicholas and hyacinth and get excited like "omg !!! theyre solangelo lite!!!" like i didnt do that on purpose !! babes you made the point and missed it conpletely !! but remembering does make me happy nd it makes my day a little bit better
#i guess nicholas and hudson could also be considered percy x nico but thats a stretch and also technically true while also its not#if you dont think about it its not but if you think about it long enough its ..funky#the entire situation is fucked up okay#hudson isnt even real#does it still count if hes not real and the relationship never actually happened???#aaaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHH#percy jackson ocs#pjo ocs#ocs#original characters#theyre like solangelo but if solangelo wasnt real and it was just a god's attempt at making nico so angry at zeus he tried to kill him#tried to kill... zeus himself...#amazing thinking zagreus youre really gonna show 'em this time
1 note
·
View note
Text
i’m so curious to know what Kevin’s mother was like lol did she purposely leave Kevin in the care of Tetsuji? if she purposely left Kevin to the care of Tetsuji was she totally unaware of his true nature or did she just not care or ? is there a will somewhere that the Moriyamas destroyed where her true intentions were actually for Kevin to be left to Wymack’s care upon her death? what was a woman who was stringing along Wymack like? and did Wymack have his sneaking suspicions about Kevin being his son before Kevin told him so when Kevin came moping into his office that day in TKM, did Wymack feel sick to his stomach and the reason that Neil describes it as “going poorly” is bc Wymack is so upset at himself for not listening to his gut and therefore not being able to care for Kevin sooner before he went through a lifetime of trauma just like Wymack did himself? so many questions
#was her death actually an accident???#does kevin ever feel angry at her for leaving him in a bad situation??#how did she know tetsuji? was she apart of the yakuza and one day was just like ya okay i’ll fuck around and invent a new sport#and the most important question of all why tf did she spell her name like a millennial christian white mom naming their baby???#the plot of these books is batshit but honestly i’m impressed at the amount of world building that nora has#how tf did she come up with this#i bet there exists an entire romance story of wymack/kayleigh day in nora’s head#kevin day#wymack#aftg#tfc#the foxhole court#kayleigh day
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is extremely embarrassing but we are friends. anyway i have the autism that just made me wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare with thomas hunt and the worst part is that he wasn’t even in the dream. but the idea of him being there existed. at any point i could turn around a corner and he could be there. but he never was. this would’ve been the greatest horror movie ever written. this is also how my life works. constantly in fear i’m going to see him. he can be anywhere and that’s so scary. i wonder if that’s how he dreams of claire too
#like you don’t get it i sleep dracula style and i don’t move the entire time. yes it is exactly what you are imagining#yes it’s ridiculous#the point is. i was trapped in this dream okay. i was being held hostage#i am not joking when i say this is an anti hunt blog this guy is literally haunting my dreams#he is making me suffer in my dreams and he wasn’t even there#that’s what’s fucking me up why’d my brain even create this scenario. i did NOT dream of him yet the fear he was going to be there existed#literally why#anyway this is a situation where he would be in. exactly like this. every single detail but make it about claire#he would wake up as baffled as i am. is masochism his brains natural response to life. is it mine#im soomaking this a thing i might’ve gone through the worst experience in my life and now i’m making him go through it as well.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha
I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.
I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.
It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.
Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?
And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.
The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.
These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?
Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.
The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.
After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.
#It's not that I think everything has to be character driven or take a lot of care about dynamics#Death Note for instance works well without it. There's juice in the dynamic between Light and his father and the role of Matsuda there#and it works well with Light's views and their evolution and the whole Kira situation. It isn't much. It doesn't need more#But Death Note doesn't truly drop something as big as Gojo and Megumi to then do barely nothing about it#('But L and Watari' not the same at all. That was deepened in the anime and besides Watari is not one of the main characters)#Or Megumi and his sister. If we see barely nothing of Megumi and his sister other than shiny flashbacks of her#how am I to feel moved by it all beyond superficial emotions? I don't know. It just feels so like cardboard to me#And it annoys me! It annoys me a lot! Because Jujutsu Kaisen has amazing potential! The dynamics and characters could be amazing!#But I don't trust they'll live to their full potential and the potential existing for nothing is ruining this for me xD#Jujutsu Kaisen#Sorry this time I'm tagging it. I want to find this and see if I was right when I'm finished. I think I'll read the manga too#The condescending filler breakfast comment by my friend was ironic considering the Kramer vs. Kramer breakfast scenes exist#Breakfast can be so telling. And besides he loves the Chainsaw Man coffee scene so I don't get why not breakfast#But truly some small daily life moments can tell us a lot about a character that we could recognise later on in high stakes scenes#such as how they deal in tense situations‚ what makes them snap#how they go about dealing with a problem.#Sometimes it could be smaller moments or conversations what makes characters reconsider things‚ not just having Sukuna rip their heart out#In Pandora Hearts the conversation between Elliot and Oz about the book series they love and their favourite characters becomes key#Oz's development and how he regards things‚ his own person‚ and how he deals with situations will be shaped later on by this conversation#till the very end. The entire main character's development is shaped by a 'filler' conversation.It's not filler. It's just not a fight scen#Shonen manga readers find everything filler except for fights which is ironic considering that many fights in shonen feel unnecessary#Breakfast is unnecessary. Just filler. Fighting thirty seven secondary monsters or chapter after chapter of physical training is not. Okay#Things can be small but plot relevant. If it shapes and fleshes out and deepens a character or a relationship it is not filler#And mainly MAINLY for the love of everything good if you're going to make a fucked up or Meaningful Beyond Everything dynamic#give it time and care. Actually write it. Don't give me two panels and one conversation after some life and death situation. It's not enoug#Especially if I'm to believe they are important. Make me believe they actually are#I don't know... This issue with not trusting the development of very well set potential in Jujutsu Kaisen#has not only been keeping me from thoroughly enjoying the series‚ but actively keeping me from watching for weeks#It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things#A pity. I really love some things and I really think Megumi and Gojo could be everything to me haha the Heathcliff/Hareton vibe gets me
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
opening the group chat for the first time today and there's like 200 new messages because everyone's Going Through It today it seems but one of my friends dropped 'I'm separating from [terrible boyfriend she's been living with for like eight years] for real this time, I just moved a bunch of stuff to my parents' and I'm losing my mind because y'all the subject changed almost immediately HEY HI EVERYBODY ELSE SHUT THE FUCK UP I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT???
#'I moved my stuff and my dog' can't leave the pup behind! 'I had to last winter and it was a big reason I wound up going back' HELLO--#was he holding your fucking dog over your head. I will kill the man?????#I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'S TRIED TO LEAVE HIM BEFORE??#I'm-- so-- okay listen. admittedly I am of course simply nosy. of course I am.#but also I have never liked david Ever. justin and I were LITERALLY talking DAYS ago about Worrying About Her being stuck with him#because she moved TO CALIFORNIA with him and he was being a piece of shit then and she had NOBODY out there#and now they're in denver and like. it's his house it's his money etc etc it's a really... logistically difficult situation#but at least she's made some friends in denver and convinced her parents to move out there so she's not COMPLETELY unsupported#like she was in CA#my point is: I'm nosey but I'm also INVESTED. I fucking hate this guy darling I've wanted you to leave him this entire goddamn time#she's talked *a little* about problems with him before but also we've been around him before and he's just generally awful#and it's. like. I'm so so so fucking glad you're moving in with your parents but also. genuinely are you OKAY--#MAN AND ALSO. EVEN IF IT WASN'T 'I HATE THIS GUY AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THE BREAKING POINT WAS--'#THIS IS A SERIOUS LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP? IT ENDING IS A BIG DEAL REGARDLESS?? WHY DID WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT SO FAST HELLO#.... actually I've identified the source of my Wanting More Details#which is: hey babe are you in a phase of this where hearing about how much he fucking sucks shit would be upsetting or affirming.#because I wanna tell you how fucking happy I am that you're leaving him. because he's a piece of shit and you deserve better than that.#ARE YOU IN AN EMOTIONAL SPACE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW I AM SCOOPING YOU INTO MY ARMS LIKE THE CAT SAMURAI MEME.#AND THREATENING THIS MAN WITH A SWORD. BECAUSE HE'S TERRIBLE. CAN I GET A VIBE CHECK THERE. SHOULD I WAIT--
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know I haven't said much about it, but legitimately, "running away" was one of the most pivotal life decisions I've ever made. Probably THE first major life decision I've made, and also the best. If you have an opportunity to go, leave. Get out of there. If you are not safe at home, emotionally, physically, whatever, and you're able to leave, do it. It's going to suck such major ass for a while because you're going to have to deal with the scars they've left on you, but I wholeheartedly, full-throatedly, with-my-chest promise you that it is going to be better. You're going to be better. If you have the privilege of being able to escape, no matter how difficult it feels, then RUN.
#whatever you leave behind is not your responsibility. sometimes you're gonna have a fucked relationship with the siblings you 'abandoned'#but they have to understand that you had to leave. and that you were actively fighting to take them with you the entire time#it's okay to be selfish. you need to be selfish to start to recover.#if you have to be homeless please look up and do your research on local resources first. plan things out.#i was lucky enough to have family who'd been waiting years and years for this moment to happen#if you can go and have your college dorm as a safe haven then absolutely take that chance#if you can go and rent an apartment with the money from your job then take that chance#plan shit. do it. even if your brain fights you. you do not want to be out there without proper precautions or else you could end up-#-seriously fucked over.#also i know i'm encouraging people to get out but in equal measure:#if it isn't safe to leave you are not lesser for staying.#if it's winter and you can't be out there alone you are not complicit in your own abuse yk?#if you have family you CANNOT leave behind like extremely young siblings then you are not at fault for staying.#i was lucky enough to be able to leave quickly and (relatively) painlessly and i'm aware that not everybody can do that#sometimes staying IS the better choice. but that's a choice YOU have to make not me#assess your situation properly. are you staying for your own safety or because you're scared?#etc etc. obviously take all of this with a grain of salt i don't have all the life experience in the world just what little i have#also: prepaid phones are a godsend. MRIs. canned food. make sure to have first aid kits if needed. plan ahead. have a stash somewhere safe#rox rumblings#me things
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
while i'm on my soapbox, let me say one more thing.
i see the critique of 'you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days'. i have seen every variation of complaint about this line specifically. how dare she criticize him for being mentally ill? (nevermind that the same was immediately done for her.) how dare she leave him just because he was depressed? how dare, how dare, how dare?
and i just, i think it's telling in many ways. as someone with depression/someone who has recently gone through a year-long depressive episode, i think this is severely taken out of context. the beginning of the song even includes a piece of that puzzle- i stopped tryna' make him laugh. the chorus asking how much sadness he believed she had in her, the multiple mentions of her bearing the weight. i've been on that side of this dynamic as well, that realization that someone you care about is hinging their happiness and healing on you. you have to bear the brunt of this because they, through no fault of their own, have settled into a fog.
it's already difficult enough of a situation, knowing this loved one is depending on you, but when you struggle with depression yourself? when you're hinging every day on being what this specific person needs to feel like they have something real to hold onto? there comes a certain point where, if you don't leave, you're going to lose yourself. you're never selfish for choosing yourself. depression looks different for everyone, and sometimes it does have that dangerous lead into dependency. you have to realize when you're breaking yourself with the same tools you're using to build them up. you just have to.
#tate.txt#taylor swift#let me be clear: if this was her stating she left him SOLELY BECAUSE he was depressed then that would be entirely different#but their situation was obviously incredibly complex. the lyrics of that song do show the weight of bearing what the other person needs#and disregarding how much you're falling apart until it's too late#stop villainizing people for taking care of themselves for fucks sake.#AND WHILE I'M AT IT.#she has every right to be angry that he put that weight on her.#that shit is traumatic.#you cannot hinge your happiness on other people and expect them to remain unscathed.#you can spend years shattering yourself so you can build this one person back up. those are years you won't get back.#it's okay to be angry while simultaneously understanding that no one is truly the worst in the situation.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
so i googled my current favourite play that i'm absolutely obsessed with and ended up on the english wikipedia site bc my browser is set to english and. it's so bad. the fucking plot overview leaves out basically everything that happens ever except for the end result. several key figures aren't even mentioned. "this guy dies for freedom" well, yes, but actually no, plus you're implying his sacrifice is actually worth it. that's not true. in some other section a dude is mentioned who claims this play is basically star wars. that someone familiar with the play but not star wars could look at a star wars poster and tell you which characters are narratively similar/equal to characters of the play. i am baffled. i have never, not once in my life, ever seen someone be so wrong. dude must have read an entirely different play. i'm tempted to dig up the english version and read it just to see how fucking wrong he is. he is *so* incredibly wrong. jesus fuck. how could you possibly say that
#like??? lets assume the protagonists are sorta equivalent#okay?? daddy issues ig? one of them is filled with hope and the other with despair and obsessive love based in stubbornness#one of them refuses to give up to save many and the other has given up many to pursue his hopeless love interest#(until the end at least. hes so fucked up and stupid <3)#and okay that unreachable love interest is shared BUT????#i cant even begin to describe how fucking different those situations are#also bc without an in depth explanation the play situation sounds so much worse than it is#then the protags bestie#in star wars we have han whos cool but he didnt mean to be there for the longest time. a smuggler etc#in the play we have this super righteous guy whom Nobody speaks ill of whos literally our protags only moral compass#well not the only. well. actually. currently yes he is thats accurate#i mean obviously theres differences already bc one is basically a space fairy tale and the others a tragedy but#the character constellations are NOT even remotely similar!!!#the motives are VERY different!! the way the characters think and feel and act are VERY different!!!#just bc theres a protag who has a bad father a best friend and a love interest he shouldn't be into does NOT mean ones based on the other#and even if dude refers to a different star wars movie THE SAME STILL APPLIES#ITS SO INCREDIBLY WRONG LITERALLY I CANNOT GET OVER THIS#not that the wikipedia plot overview is much better#yes youre TECHNICALLY right but YOU ARE IGNORING THE PLOT#YES THAT HAPPENS BUT ONLY AT THE VERY END BC OF THE PLOT THAT YOU DIDNT MENTION#YOURE IGNORING CHARACTERS INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT#(the women ofc. THEYRE IMPORTANT. yes they still play their restrictive af roles given the age of the play#BUT THEY STILL MATTER AND INFLUENCE THINGS???? let my girl fuck up so bad. let my other girl try so hard to do her best even as shes#powerless within the narrative and her fellow characters whims and moods and ploys)#and again! saying my guy dies for freedom is such a gross oversimplification#that scene is so intense and based in such complicated actions and intentions and feelings youre doing it a disservice#you can simplify it like that but ONLY IF YOU PROVIDE CONTEXT PLEASE#YOU CANT SAY 'THIS IS THE PLOT' AND THEN IGNORE THE ENTIRE PLOT#PLEASE THERE WASN'T A SINGLE MENTION OF LETTERS EVEN WTF ARE YOU DOING#WHOEVER WROTE THAT WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE DROP UR URL I JUST WANNA TALK
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#okay no it's not the darkness getting to me there is a real life thing occupying a lot of my brain space#and idk if there's anything to be gained by speaking it out loud into the void but at the moment it's the only thing i Can do#i don't even have to click the 'post' button if i don't want to#but yeah. yesterday got the news that my mom's husband is dying. had a surprise heart attack and he's not gonna make it#just feels super fucking weird#personally i never really liked him at all so it's not like i myself necessarily have to grieve. never was that close with him#but like. oof this is going to be hard for my mom. and i'm super worried about how she's going to survive#but there's nothing to DO about it really. she wanted to have some space to come to terms with this on her own#and she has a strong support network of friends in her city. while i'm on the other side of the country#and don't even know what i could do to help if i was closer to her. i just. like. what can you even do in a situation like this?#just feels weird to Not do anything when i know how huge of an impact this will make for her entire life#she'll probably have to move to a different place too#and there are people there to help her. people with more life experience. people who probably know more about grief than i do#i just. i have no idea how one handles something like this. except for being there for her when asked#do eldest daughters have some sort of universal responsibilities that i'm just not aware of?#it feels kinda horrible how this is constantly circling back to what can *I* do and what must *I* do. how *I* feel#i'd never ever ever make things this much about me in any other setting than my own tumblr blog. in a tag whisper i'm not sure i'll post#but yeah all of this is eating my brain in a very weird way. an odd sort of limbo where it feels like there should be something here#it'd certainly be easier if i had any sort of relationship with the dead person myself. if i had something to grieve myself#now there's just a feeling that something Should be here to feel. and the knowledge of how hard this must be for my mom#ahhhhh idk none of this makes any sense i'm just speaking in circles and everything feels bad#it's bad and horrible and i don't know how to process any of this and i'm stuck in my brain and can't DO anything#there's nothing i can do to help my mom at this exact moment when she wants to be left alone with her thoughts#and i can't do anything else either because all of this feels like a heavy black cloud fogging up my brain#can't concentrate on anything at all today#not fun. not cool#sussitalk
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ngl i think i kind of was a genius for being like 'yeah this character is a scary killyou cannibal scary killer who scary kills you' and then realizing that the way my worldbuilding works out is that there's a nonzero chance that if you leave literally any body parts over they can just come back, depending on what they believe in their heart of hearts can kill them. Of course she'd start eating her kills. She probably tried normal stuff first and then realized it didn't work and she had to try harder if she wanted to actually keep them dead.
#red rambles#im working on a character who i made up years and years ago and wasnt even happy with then because he didnt seem to have enough like#interior thoughts he was just like a guy who killed people when he was stressed and his life was constantly stressful and then he killed on#person too many and they were like 'this is fucking untenable and he has to die' and then they killed him#which is soooooooooo absolutely nothing honestly. Like it works as a barebones summary but i want to stress there was actually straight up#nothing else there. the entire rest of his whole whatnot was just being entangled with Haven who is a different character who at the time#ALSO felt unsatisfyingly lacking in interiority but at lesat he had really complex motivations and action flowcharts. that werent just 'i#get grumpy and i just go kill some random person with no regard for what the consequences will be and then i am so mean and i kill you'#now theres a lot more happening. i really didnt. like.#okay so i had a Backstory worked out but it was vague because i didnt know what the fuck he WANTEDDDDDDD right like. i had no motivations a#literally all except 'oohhh i kill people ooohhh i like killing people ooohhh im erratic i kill people' and the background i HAD was like.#Upper class scion of some rich family whose family honest to god just did not like him very much and also [gestures vaguely] i guess he#maybe kicked dogs or something and then he ??nebulous timeline meets haven and then kills his sister or kills his sister and very quickly#thereafter meets haven but i usually lean toward the former because haven LOVES convincing people to kill their whole families its like#cathartic for him because he would love to kill his entire family but physically cannot do it. but like kind of the implications of this#as far as i was concerned given this is set in the mid 1800s was like. ehhh he's getting away with this because he's rich white and male an#it pays to turn a blind eye to his indiscretions or w/e. a genderswap means that she'd be subject to a lot more scrutiny on basis of like#misogyny. LOL. and i already had the preexisting 'hates half sibling' (i genderswapped the sister into a brother because why not) and 'hate#parents' and 'parents strongly dislike her' and 'unsettling' and it worked nicely to start giving me actual fucking. Literally anything to#work with there. because it means that by going off with Haven she walks out of one situation where she has like 0 agency into another one#and like to be clear i respect anyone who is sitting around in haven's general vicinity for snapping and just starting to kill people. me t#but this works. SOOOOOOOOOO much better for real#im still working the kinks out but like also this means that she wins. she wins like multiple times actually. she comes closer to killing#haven than anyone since he learned what fucking species he was and causes him more trouble in the interest of getting the FUCK out of there#than anyone else has and then she fucking gets what she was going for against literally every effort haven could've made over ~five decades#get owned loser.#every time i draw her i cant help it i write some shit like PLEASE JUST GET DIVORCED on it even though i wrote the fucking narrative i know#it will never fucking happen and thats why she does all this shit instead#in another world she'd be like the wildly capable owner of Raytheon 2 or some other shit like that. like she'd never be a nice or good#person but she wouldn't be dead. god she could be in charge of a country or some shit. Alas. Please get divorced.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm going to be bitching about Star for a while now. I'll tag them all with #asc spoilers, but really what the fuck was this book?
#morningtalks#asc spoilers#The biggest flop I've ever seen in the history of everything#How could you even fail this so badly? Where did you think these were good ideas?#The Icestar thing I'm personally miffed about because I genuinely wanted Froststar. Not for her happiness but because she's the only cat#Who felt like she had a bit of a REASON to be leader#Look for the less obvious choices. Makes a senior warrior they ALREADY CONSIDERED leader#While she was off on a whole other adventure in Another Book You Gotta Buy Now To Know What Icewing Was Up To#While the Real Plot Was Happening#Splashtail is dead already when she arrives#Do these fucking morons really just sit on their asses AGAIN up until Icewing arrives/Frostpaw wakes up?#Timeskips of hell. I hate it here#Berryheart's death is also one I am FURIOUS about#Woman Died For Her Daughter So Now She's Good and All Her Family Mourns Her#They really had to go Redemption Death for the most radioactive piece of garbage in existence#She spent THE ENTIRE ARC being an absolute shithead berating her son/trying to KILL her own daughter-in-law#Manipulating (or at least trying to) Sunbeam. Plotting against Tigerstar within and outside of ShadowClan#Was fully into the plan to trap Tiger and co ''because then she could fix ShadowClan herself and get River out''#This fucking book I swear I hate it so deeply#How do you fail such an arc?#How idiotic do you have to be to not let Sunbeam (and Spireclaw) deal with their rancid mother once and for all?#Why does Sunbeam still Love Her So Much after everything?#(okay I know Trauma and Parents and growing up within odd situations and how you still kinda love them)#But Berryheart was a Problem the entire arc#Why?#It is really just because Berryheart is Mom and this Has The Mom Instinct still?#You let some rando horrendous man kill his own daughter in SkyClan's destiny by accident. Why can't Sun and Berry fight?#I wanted some horrific death for Berry. One that would haunt Sunbeam for a long time and maybe if needed cement her choice#To not return to ShadowClan because it hurts#Yes I wanted SUNBEAM to kill Berryheart (or at the very least Spireclaw)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
sitting back after writing 3k words of a fic and thinking. what the hell is this
#ada speaks#if i say what ive written#this entire scenario is insane but. i guess im committed#it has been a very very long time since ive written mac and its like. allll coming out in a way i didn't really expect#i *almost* feel worse for what im putting him through than dennis. ....almost.#this shit is honestly so heavy i think i need a break but none of my other fics are light either lmfao#whats worse: hostage situation turned incredibly fucked up conversion therapy#or the most relentless barrage of awful truths realizing that your existence is nothing more than a burden on the people you love and#no matter how much you sacrifice and how hard you're beaten down you will never have anyone to lean on because even though youve finally#reached a point where you realize you have to open up to them they will never see you for who you truly are because of the years of lies#you've fed them#*wheeze*#okay i answered my own question actually this is the lighter fic comparatively#dennis is suffering in both but at least he has mac with him in the former for better or worse#north dakota dennis suffers and then season 13 on is the bleakest most hellish time like has dennis actually been close with the gang since
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
For some reason, this round of meds (same dose and everything as last time) is making me have very violent Realisations and Remembering Things moments. And by that I mean the Thing I Forgot and/or the Realisations show up with a bat and see how hard they can make my brain hit the wall. So anyway.
YOU GUYS REMEMBER SPIKE THE WETFLOOR BOT??? YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER??? THE FIRST FAZBEAR ANIMATRONIC TO BE BORN FROM LOVE INSTEAD OF PAIN??? YOU REMEMBER HER???
CAUSE I JUST DID
#SPPIIIIKKKEEEEEE I MISS YOOOUUUU#I love spike. spike the wet floor bot is my favourite. I miss her I should bring her back somehow#the first animatronic to gain sentience and awareness out of LOVE and CARE#I miss her we need to bring her back. I never made a visual design but I definitely posted some descriptions of her pretty sure#a wet floor bot... a little wonky and a little off colour. holes in it's damaged and dented casing patched up with scrap#never the same colour. always different#stickers and magnets and a lil bit of spray paint. part of an ear missing and crooked#has one of roxy's spiked bracelets around her neck with a keyring dangling from it like a tag...#she picked her own name and pronouns... doesn't really understand what they are and what they mean but she wants them#in one AU she was Roxy's little distraction. something to work on and repair while the others search the rubble of the plex for-#their friends. In another Roxy repaired her for fun unknowingly after Vanny had used her as a test subject for the virus#in another one post-ruin roxy and cassie were searching the plex for an easy animatronic for roxy to repair so cassie's dad could-#test what she'd learned about repairing them from him and found a salvageable wet floor bot#that they then wrapped in tarp and put in a shopping trolley to take her straight home and get to work on her much to the-#confusion of literally everyone as they barrel down the halls of flats with an unidentified tarp blob in a stolen shopping trolley#<- that one's Meteors AU btw. Roxy got turned into a Real Boy by the Meteor and is now living with Cassie as her adopted sister#this is just the kind of shit these two get up to all the time and no one knows who's meant to be the braincell between them because well#they keep taking turns on who the older sibling is. they keep changing it. the eldest sibling is based entirely on the situation lmao#who's bright idea was it to steal a wet floor bot? WHO KNOWS!! Cassie said 'pick an animatronic!' so they did that's all there is to it!#cassie's dad just. head in hands. as he realises. the fucking wet floor sign on wheels is sentient now.#why. why and how. terrified of the wrath of Fazbear if they find out. while she's just. trundling about.#wheels on carpet floor style. struggling but getting there. happy beeps as she pushes a ball around on the floor. living her best life.#sfdsfdsfs I fucking LOVE Spike okay I miss her I need to bring her back somehow#I could give her to mangle or sprocket in robot hell but I'm not doing much with that right now#sdhfdfsfs Chica's recipe zine starring Spike!! and every image of her is just confusion#'see? even Spike likes bananas!' Chica says as she puts one on the floor so Spike can very happily run it over.#dfsdfsds love Spike. Spike enrichment is now running random foods over because she can. and also the wheels off a toy monster truck#so she can be an ALL TERRAIN wet floor bot. make them gecko wheels like DJ's hands and she's got everyone beat lmao#she can be DJ's Uppies Buddy!!#lmao Spike I'm so sorry I've left you in the dark for so long I'm bringing you back. beloved guy of all time
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
poppy playtimers do we still fw dogday = rich theory . bc i do even if its been debunked im still here someone help
#its just .......#okay listen#i want it to be true alright . can you really blame me#rich is such a funky guy to put in this specific situation come on now#GRGRGRGGRGGGRRRR I HATE MY STUPID JOB#GGRGRRRR I GOT DEMOTED I HATE MY STUPID JOB EVEN MORE#whats this i can get a promotion? wow how cool AUGH FUCK THEY PUT ME IN THE DAMN DOG.#shouldve taken those goddamn baking classes like patty told me.....#like you feel me guys#isnt he just perfect blorbo material#1) pissed off all the time#2) “goodnight to my wife fuck the rest of yall”#3) is genuinely taken by surprise when somebody says they like him as a person#4) (if we still running w the dogday theory) got put thru unimaginable tortures without any clear reason#even if they do end up separate beings entirely#pls remember me as rich n.1 fan#and dogday n.1 fan respectively#🍋 blah blah#poppy playtime#poppy playtime 3#dogday#rich lovitz#poppy playtime dogday#poppy playtime rich#rich beloved#dogday beloved
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
literally what the fuck is in the air lately ive had three guys being weird at me within the past three weeks. thats one guy a week. Stop fucking being weird
#coworker situation resolved itself i think hes just Like That#we’ve been casually texting now and everythings normal its fine#other guy who asked me out to get sushi together. i ghosted him. Lmao#like bro ive only talked to you like … four times you are not getting me to a secondary location#and NOWWW#AT MY INTERNSHIPPPP#im huffing and puffing doing manual labor unloading boxes and shit#and custodial does Not pick up when i call them to perhaps come down to help me out#so i gotta do it all by myself i get a cart load it full of empty boxes and im like man i gotta go toss em all individually into the#dumpster now but lo and behold i get to the loading deck where the dumpster is theres a group of grown men#theyre all doing their own thang theres a bunch of box trucks theyre waiting on and they all turn to me when i open the door#im like. Hi. dont mind me i just gotta toss these boxes in the dumpster#two of the men approach me and just literally grab the entire damn cart itself and shake it out over the dumpster#like oh. Okay#i was like hey thank you so much !!! i literally dont know who you are but thanks for helping out !!#and i have so many empty boxes i need to do this two more times#so i open the door and just one of the original men shakes it out over the dumpster again#and i was like profusly thanking him cuz im like do you even work here like who are you thank you for doing my manual labor?? 😭😭#and so as im ducking out to get the last round of boxes the man says like hey only for you#and im like. in my head im like ??? but im like whatever. moving on.#so i bring out the last round of boxes and im like hey thank you so much for doing this have a great day#and he says something like i see you dont have a ring yet#LIKE WHAT#BACK UP !!! WHAT#IM ONLY 22 YOURE LIKE A WHOLE ASS 35 BACK UP !!!!!!!!!!#so i just say Hm! again and leave#like whenever these PEOPLE say weird shit to me i just say Hm!#CUZ LIKE. HUH?#what the fuck u want me to say that???#anyway thankfully tho this guy isnt a coworker so its literally just a passing rando i will never see again
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need to draw more kings duo. I will never be normal about them ever. Love teaming with my best friend even though I Know he will betray me at some point!!! Friendship loses!! Yay!
#maybe one day when I’m not busy#best friends who hate each other who also keep trusting each other who also keep lying to each other#SO fucked that Minute will always team up with Wemmbu again and again even after all of the betrayals and lying#Minute knowing he’ll probably get betrayed still teaming with Wemmbu anyways#because it’s familiar#they’re each others safe options#and they know each other SO well#Minute’s so easy to take advance of despite his paranoia because he’s just Such a good guy#and he knows that.#and Wemmbu knows it too#I like when Wemmbu does Inevitably betray Minute#because Minute always goes batshit insane trying to get revenge on him#even though he KNEW this situation would happen#okay enough rambling you get what I’m saying#kings duo#might as well because the tag is sooo empty Sadge#ALSO WEMMBU GIVING MINUTE HIS CROWN WHEN HE LEFT???#AND MINUTE WEARING IT THE ENTIRE TIME????????#AND GIVING IT BACK WHEN WEMMBU RETURNED#Wemmbu was watching after him even while he was gone
6 notes
·
View notes