#the drink size saga

[solbeans]

i think the funniest solution to the size issue would be to just say “you know what, fuck you” to the breeds that are either too big or too small and give them One cup size.

ALSO I THINK I AM FORGETTING THAT DOMESTICS ARE CATS. AND ARE CAT-SIZED. THE DRINKS MUST ALSO BE CAT-SIZED.

the normal sized drink (medium) would NOT be 16oz

[tiny-xander-adventures]

Can I pat the tiny xander as an apology for drinking him?

this is the perfect opportunity to share this gif I made the other day…

[inahandful-of-dust]

EPIC: The Musical - Act I and II

(As of November 2nd, 2024)

THE TROY SAGA

(Originally released December 25th, 2022 - Officially released July 4th, 2024)

1. The Horse and the Infant

Find that inner strength now Use that well of pride Fight through every pain now Ask yourself inside What do you live for? What do you try for? What do you wish for? What do you fight for?

2. Just a Man

But when does a comet become a meteor? When does a candle become a blaze? When does a man become a monster? When does a ripple become a tidal wave? When does the reason become the blame? When does a man become a monster?

3. Full Speed Ahead

We're up, we're off, and away we go We're up, we're off, and away we go Full speed ahead

4. Open Arms

This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms Whatever we face, we'll be fine if we're leading from the heart No matter the place, we can light up the world Here's how to start Greet the world with open arms

5. Warrior of the Mind

Maybe one day we'll reach them And we can build their skills as we teach them If there's a problem, we'll have the answer We are the warriors of the mind

THE CYCLOPS SAGA

(Originally released January 27th, 2023 - Officially released July 4th, 2024)

6. Polyphemus

Don't you know that pain you sow is pain you rеap? Time to drink your blood over where you stand Your life now is in my hand Before I'm done, you will learn that it's not so fun to take

7. Survive

Six hundred lives at stake, it's just one life to take And when we kill him, then our journey's over No dying on me now, defeat is not allowed We must live through this day

8. Remember Them

Remember them When the fire begins to fade For the fallen and afraid We are not to let them die in vain Remember them We're the ones who carry on The flames of those who've gonе And our comrades will not die in vain

9. My Goodbye

Unlike you, every time someone dies I'm left to deal with the strain What's a title that a goddess could lend if I'll never sleep at night?

THE OCEAN SAGA

(Released December 25th, 2023)

10. Storm

These waves and tides Have grown in strength and size Is it nature or divine Or a blessing in disguise? Our home's in sight This storm's our final fight There's no time to die

11. Luck Runs Out

How much longer 'til your luck runs out? How much longer 'til the show goes south? How much longer 'til we all fall down? You rely on wit, and people die on it

12. Keep your Friends Close

'Cause the end always justifies the means Friends turn into foes and rivalries So keep your friends close and your enemies closer Never really know who you can trust

13. Ruthlessness

The line between naïveté and Hopefulness is almost invisible So close your heart The world is dark and Ruthlessness is mercy-

THE CIRCE SAGA

(Released February 14th, 2024)

14. Puppeteer

Since we left home we've faced a variety of foes from a wide range of places Gods, monsters, you know the roster, hostile creatures that we could resist But this was a hell of a twist, 'cause we are weak to a power like this

15. Wouldn't You Like

Wouldn't you like a taste of the power? Wouldn't you like to use more than words?

16. Done For

My nymphs are like my daughters I protect them at all costs The last time we let strangers live We faced a heavy loss You've given me no reason to Bestow you with my trust

17. There Are Other Ways

Maybe showing one act of kindness Leads to kinder souls down the road I remember actions of passion I have been in love once before Maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more

THE UNDERWORLD SAGA

(Released April 26th, 2024)

18. The Underworld

All I hear are screams (All I hear are screams) Every time I dare to close my eyes I no longer dream (I no longer dream) Only nightmares of those who've died Nothing's what it seems (Nothing's what it seems)

19. No Longer You

I see a song of past romance I see the sacrifice of man I see portrayals of betrayal And a brother's final stand I see you on the brink of death I see you draw your final breath I see a man who gets to make it home alive But it's no longer you

20. Monster

Then I'll become the monster I will deal the blow And I'll become the monster Like none they've ever known So what if I'm the monster Lurking deep below? I must become the monster

THE THUNDER SAGA

(July 4th, 2024)

21. Suffering

How am I to evade him? How am I to get home? Which route should I take? Where am I supposed to go?

22. Different Beast

He is the man-made monster He is the one who conquers You are a threat no longer He won't take more suffering from you

23. Scylla

Give up your honor and faith Live up your life as a wraith Die in the blood where you bathe We must do what it takes to survive

24. Mutiny

How are we supposed to trust you now? Now your time has come, your luck's run out

25. Thunder Bringer

Thunder bringer, here to ring your Ears until you're deaf with fear And spear you while your death is near Lightning wielder, here to yield your Time, for you have passed your prime Sublime you for your act of crime

THE WISDOM SAGA

(August 30TH, 2024)

26. Legendary

It's just me, myself, and I Stuck in my bedroom, livin' in this world you left behind Dreamin' of all these monsters that I'll never get to fight But boy, I wish I could, so I could bring the world some light

27. Little Wolf

Let's teach this dog a lesson In front of all his kind One young wolf has a larger heart Than all these men combined

28. We'll Be Fine

And so I thought Maybe if I'd made a different call Maybe if I hadn't missed it all Maybe he'd be fine Maybe we'd unwind Maybe if I help another soul Maybe if I helped you reach your goal Life could be that bright I could sleep at night

29. Love in Paradise

You don't know what I've gone through You don't know what I've sacrificed Every comrade I long knew Every friend, I saw them die And all I hear are screams

30. God Games

Trust is not given, it's forged Why should I give him my support? He sacrificed his own cohort

THE VENGEANCE SAGA

(October 31st, 2024)

31. Not Sorry For Loving You

I'm angry and tired and restless and sad I'm stuck in the moments I swore that we had

32. Dangerous

I have to get home, put it all on the line I'm gonna use ruthlessness Every trick, every skill put to use for this I plan to put an end to all the foolishness I have to get home, put it all on the line I'll be dangerous

33. Charybdis

There, I see it The island I'vе been searching for Home, I've rеached it My wife and son are past these shores Holding on I am almost there

34. Get in the Water

Aren't you tired, Poseidon? It's been ten years, how long will this go? We're both hurting from losses So why not leave this here and just go home?

35. Six Hundred Strike

How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain? I watched my friends die in horror Crying as they were all slain I heard their final moments Calling their captain in vain Look what you turned me into Look what we've become

[blorger]

The Ultimate Harry Potter Teeth Guide

I'm currently stuck at home with a bad case of the vapours (read: the flu). Good job past me, drinking that contaminated glass of water was sure worth not looking rude to that one lady who coughed in front of it (note for future self: next time maybe don't risk it with some possibly compromised water just to spare the feelings of someone who already likes you).

Anyways, as I was writhing in agony in bed, delirious with fever, a passage from GoF I'd recently re-read called out to me, urging me to notice its weirdness. Here is said passage:

And thus severely ill me spent an embarrassingly long amount of time trying to remember all the different teeth names because something was nagging at me: you see, molars are back teeth (they're our designated mashers), there's just no way of knowing if someone has large molars by looking at them.

Besides, pre-cosmetic surgery (of the magical variety) Hermione is described as having large front teeth, right? So i went looking for all the mentions of Hermione's teeth in the books, which are as follows:

(PS, Hermione is introduced to us on the train)

(GoF, Harry meets back with Hermione at the Burrow)

(GoF, Harry and Draco were throwing jinxes at each other and Draco's hit Hermione by accident, making her teeth grow to an alarming size)

(GoF, the conclusion of the teeth saga; Hermione gets the wizarding equivalent of cosmetic dentistry)

This proved to me that yes, it was her front teeth that were noticeably large, not any other random teeth. So either Draco -whose utterance, by the way, implies that wizards know about and perhaps practice modern dentistry on account of he knows teeth names- is very confused on which teeth are which or it's jkr herself who's confused.

That side quest completed, curiosity got the best of me and I went looking for all the mentions of teeth in the books just for shits and giggles and here are some random observations:

The only people who are described as having perfect white teeth are Fleur Delacour and Gilderoy Lockhart, which tells me jkr uses perfect teeth as a synecdoche for "attractive/good looking" (line shamelessly stolen from this btw).

Gilderoy's teeth are often described as "gleaming", implying that his beauty is ostentatious and alarming, something we ought to be unsettled by.

Harry and Ron are chronic teeth gritters and occasionally have chattering teeth; Harry in particular can often be found gritting his teeth as he stews in anger. As Hermione spends more time with them, she begins to grit her teeth too (in a gradual increase throughout the books).

Rita Skeeter has three noticeable gold teeth among her regular ones, signalling that her carefully maintained exterior is tacky and also somewhat ridiculous (jkr has a weird issue with women taking care of their appearance, but I digress).

Petunia has horselike teeth to compliment her horselike appearance.

Dolores Umbridge has small pointed teeth, which get remarked upon to highlight the unsettling feeling Harry gets when he finds her at Hogwarts (and to hint at her sinister character).

Yellow teeth are a Bad Guy Exclusive: villains get described as having yellow or yellowing teeth to showcase their grotesqueness. Snape, Greyback and Karkaroff are all described as having yellow teeth; as a matter of fact, Harry pointedly remarks on Snape's yellow teeth whenever he's shown behaving nastily.

Sirius also gets described as having yellow teeth during the Shrieking Shack scene in PoA when Harry still thinks he's a criminal (and jkr is trying to make the scene feel charged and dangerous). Notably, in none of the subsequent instances where Sirius's teeth are mentioned (he opens something with his teeth, he grinds them) does the color of his teeth get mentioned again.

Going back to Greyback, jkr makes goddamn sure we know he's a beastly psycho by repeatedly pointing out his pointed, fang-like teeth. His yellow teeth become brown when he's at his most dangerous (and animal-like, he is also described as having whiskers), during the manor scene in DH.

Snape is a chronic teeth barer, it's his signature move when he's indicating aggression. Vernon Dursley also grits and bares his teeth when he's behaving aggressively.

Gawp's teeth are described surprisingly vividly for such a minor character: he gets misshapen, brick-like teeth to highlight his non-human-ness. Other creatures' teeth (merpeople, doxies) get remarked upon similarly so we know it's supposed to be an indicator of some degree of beastliness. Gawp also gets the yellow teeth treatment (although I can't settle on what it implies); similarly, Kreacher has greying teeth, whatever that means.

the only human who gets described as having gnarled teeth is Morfin Gaunt.

A random unsettling witch in Knockturn Alley has mossy teeth to show that Harry's on the wrong side of town in CoS; Grindylows also have green teeth, again showing the association between danger (and monstrosity) and odd teeth.

Alastor Moody has missing teeth to really complete his shambled, falling apart look.

most of Grindlewald's teeth are gone to show that he's now a decrepit old man and a mere shadow of his former self.

And there you have it. These are all the characters whose teeth get discussed in detail. Do with that what you will.

[the-vampire-queer]

The Vampires Digital Media Poll: Round 1, Bracket 3

Please reblog for a bigger sample size.

Results get posted on December 10th. at 5PM CST.

<- Previous poll | Next poll ->

If you wish to learn more about your options, either as a refresher or an introduction, press the "Keep reading" button.

What is The Twilight Saga about?

Summary (first movie only): "High-school student Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), always a bit of a misfit, doesn't expect life to change much when she moves from sunny Arizona to rainy Washington state. Then she meets Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), a handsome but mysterious teen whose eyes seem to peer directly into her soul. Edward is a vampire whose family does not drink blood, and Bella, far from being frightened, enters into a dangerous romance with her immortal soulmate." Source: Rotten Tomatoes

Source: Twilight (2008)

Cast:

Kristen Stewart - Bella Swan

Robert Pattinson - Edward Cullen

Taylor Lautner - Jacob Black

Ashley Greene - Alice Cullen

Jackson Rathborne - Jasper Hale

Note: Cast lists provided here are not complete lists of people and characters featured in the media being listed. These are partial lists that include some of the main characters and their actors.

Additional information: The Twilight Saga are based off of the books of the same name by Stephenie Meyer.

Meyer attributes one of her desires to create her books to 2000s band My Chemical Romance (other bands and media also inspired her, but MCR is much more well-known for being one) and even attempted to get them to make a song for the movies. The band's response was that they wouldn't and would later they would create a song in response/as a reaction to this offer (Vampire Money from Danger Days).

What is Being Human (US + UK) about?

Summary:

US version: ""Being Human," based on a BBC series of the same name, features three 20-something roommates who each try to keep a secret from the rest of the world -- one is a ghost, another is a vampire and the third is a werewolf. The three roomies try to help one another navigate the complexities of living double lives." Source: Rotten Tomatoes

UK version: "Deciding to turn over a new leaf, a group of friends who also happen to be vampires and werewolves move into a house together, only to find that it is haunted by ghosts of people who have been killed under mysterious circumstances. As they deal with the challenges of being supernatural creatures, their desire to be human bonds them." Source: Rotten Tomatoes

Source: Being Human UK

Cast:

Russell Tovey - George Sands

Guy Flanagan (pilot) + Aidan Turner - John Mitchell (UK)

Andrea Riseborough (pilot) + Lenora Crichlow - Annie Sawyer (UK)

Sam Huntington - Josh Levison (US)

Sam Witwer - Aidan Waite (US)

Meaghan Rath - Sally Malik (US)

Mark Pellegrino - Bishop (US)

Note: Cast lists provided here are not complete lists of people and characters featured in the media being listed. These are partial lists that include some of the main characters and their actors.

Additional information: The UK version of the show came out first, airing on the BBC, dubbed Being Human (UK). Later, a new show of the same title would come out, dubbed Being Human (US).

In the UK version, two of the original three cast from the pilot would be replaced. These two would be Guy Flanagan and Andrea Riseborough, replaced by Aidan Turner and Lenora Crichlow respectively.

[thatmarvelobsessedteen]

Not planned...at all

Cassian x reader

Azriel x OC!reader'scousin

Short Summary: Two girls, cousins, somehow find themselves inside a slightly modified version of their favorite book saga ACOTAR. What will happen to them, things have changed and not just their situation but themselves...are those pointy ears they now have?

Long Summary: Leonor and Roxanne had only planned their usual afternoon, reading fanfics on the floor of Nell's room and chatting about their favorite love interests. Doing weird hairstyles and screaming the lyrics to various Nickelback songs was on the schedule but nighttime they both learn a very valuable lesson. Don't go looking too deep into the internet!

Roxy and Nell both pay the price when finding themselves in the middle of...nowhere? That is until they walk through the snow for a bit and notice that they are now direct spectators of the very scene they'd been about to read!

Chapter 1

Growing up and moving out had never stopped two good cousins from acting like kids and sharing a flat for their studies certainly wasn't gonna stop Roxanne or Leonor from having sleepovers in each other's room.

Tonight was Nell's turn. The plan was simple! Celebrate the ending of second term globals with weird ass skincare products they'd never even touched before, blast music low enough for no neighbors to come complaining, and mix up sweets and energy drinks while devouring sour candy and Takis.

Nothing new or out of the ordinary, most time these sleepovers didn't involve as much food but today was special. Roxanne had gotten second place in a large judo tournament that took place in their city, the black long haired girl was almost vibrating with excitement at the news so of course her older cousin and roommate had taken it upon herself to make tonight specially fun.

"We could've got drinks?!"

Nell was snapped out of her intense focus by Roxy's words, it's true Roxanne's 18 and she's 19 going on 20 in less than two months. Feeling up to a teasing mood Nell pulled unnecessary hard on Roxanne's pitch black long straight hair with a smirk as she continued the intricate hairstyle she'd been working on for the past hour, this was their second attempt at perfecting.

"What's up with the comment? Are you feeling alcoholic young lady?! Meh didn't feel like buying that, energy drinks are more of a rush and it did feel kind of depressing to think of us both having a pijama party just to drink wine like old widowed wives."

Roxanne didn't really react to hair pulling, I mean the woman could put down a fully grown man without any weapons it was to be expected that she didn't feel bothered by Nell's petty hair pulling. She did hum in agreement with Leonor when hearing her reasoning and chugged another drink at her glass.

"How much left? Not that you're pulling too harshly but my neck feels sore in this position"

"Give me five more minutes, I like your hair, this type of stuff can't really be done on my hair! Or at least I can't manage on myself unless I spend a full hour untangling this bird nest"

Nell complained referring to her thick brown curls that were struggling to pull out under their containment from the hair claw she had on.

It wouldn't usually click to people, that she and Roxy were actually cousins at least not until they saw them interact with one another.

Roxanne was the absolute definition of a black cat type of girl, with her straight black hair and resting bitch face no one would expect to see her running into Leonor's arms for a hug to celebrate her victory. She loved dressing in black and wouldn't think twice before pulverizing someone's ego if she deemed it necessary. Standing on 1'64 meters she could somehow still manage to look down on anyone twice her size with her icy blue eyes.

Leonor on the other hand was usually all smiles and apologies, almost like a reflex at this point.

[yyh4ever]

Yu Yu Hakusho x Oshi to Ame Special Collaboration at FavoteriA

The lollipop saga continues. Now, it's cute chibi chara!

This is the second collaboration of the candy brand "Oshi To Ame" (Ouchi de) and Yu Yu Hakusho. This time, it's a Yu Yu Hakusho Café that will take place at FavoteriA, in Ikebukuro. Drinks, Candies and Goods will be available. Some merch from the 1st collab are going to be sold at the cafeteria, and some merch from this event will also be sold on "Ouchi de" at a later date.

I'm impressed by the number of characters from this collab. Practically, the most important characters from all the seasons are here, even some members of the Reikai SDF. Eikichi on the top of Kuwabara's head is too cute.

🔶Official Site (menu): Favoteria

🔶Period: June 30 to July 12, 2023 (it's a short period)

🔶Venue: FavoteriA Ikebukuro

🔶Drinks & Novelty:

🔳DRINK MENU

Price: 750 yen

Yusuke Urameshi

Take this!!! Spirit Gun Drink!!!!!

Blue curacao; Sprite; Vanilla Ice-cream; Crackling candy

Kazuma Kuwabara

Come on, Spirit Sword!! Drink (Sour!)

Lemonade; Lemon; Chervil

Kurama Drink

Rose Whip Drink

Milk; Strawberry Yogurt; Whipped Cream; Dried Raspberries; Rosemary

Hiei

Jaou Ensatsu Black Sesame Milk (Sesame Milk of the Darkness Flame)

Black sesame sauce; Black sesame milk; Whipped cream; Black cocoa powder

Youko Kurama Drink

Bad-tempered Demon World Ojigi Plant Drink

Matcha milk; Whipped cream; Cocoa powder; Matcha powder; Rosemary

For each drink ordered, one of the following novelties will be given at random:

🔳NOVELTY

You can choose from two types of novelties. Distribution will be random.

Bromide

5 types (random)

Size: 89mm×127mm

Mini Character Coasters

16 types (random)

Size: 90mm x 90mm

🔶Candy & Goods

🔳CANDY MENU

Popsicle Cider Flavor (with purchase bonus)

5 types

Price: 990 yen each

Bonus: one random bromide (89×127mm) for each candy purchased.

🔳GOODS MENU

The first three goods are the same from the first Ouchi De x Yu Yu Hakusho Collab.

Acrylic Stand (5 types): 1,650 yen each

Acrylic Keychain (5 types): 880 yen each (random)/Complete set available;

Metal Can Badge (9 types): 495 yen each (random)/Complete set available;

The others goods are from the new chibi chara art:

Mini Character Acrylic Stand Keychain

8 types (random); Complete Set available

Price: 880 yen each

Size:

Body: about 75mm x 103mm

Base: about 50mm x 30mm

Mini Character Acrylic Stand

8 types (random); Complete Set available

Price: 990 yen each

Size: about 75mm x 103mm; Pedestal: about 50mmx30mm

Mini Character Can Badge [A]

8 types (random); Complete Set available

Price: 440 yen each

Size: (approx.) 56mmΦ

Mini Character Can Badge [B]

8 types (random); Complete Set available

Price: 440 yen each

Size: (approx.) 56mmΦ

That's it, thanks for this amazing art ^^

[davidcorenswct]

Click the source to find #555 gifs of danny griffin in fate the winx saga (season 2). All of these are medium sized gifs. These are all made by me. Please reblog the post if you plan to use them! Please do not include these into gif hunts, claim as your own, turn them into gif icons, or use in crackships without tagging.  TW: semi-nudity, drinking, intimacy, flashing lights, weapons, blood

[scarletst0ries]

TWST: The EPIC Saga p6: Polyphemus

Main characters: Ortho Shroud(Polyphemus) and Jamil Viper(Odysseus)

Style: Songfic

CW: Death, threatening, dolls, slight body horror(?)

Inspired by @werewolfbyknight’s character ideas

Masterlist

A/N: Saga number 2 let’s go!!! I’m sorry Ortho lovers…

The island is a hilly- a stark contrast to the Blotfruit Eaters’ home. A small party of twenty six including Ace, Kalim, and the captain head further inland. They gather fresh fruit, but…there is no wild game… The party keeps walking until they find a small rocky outcropping. Ace runs ahead with a few men to scout.

A few minutes later he returns with news: the outcropping opens up into a cave and a beastfolk could hear a distant bleating of a sheep inside. The captain gives the order to hunt inside the cave.

The cavern is dark and cool with a distinct stench. Kalim casts a spell and small dancing lights illuminate the dark.

Then they see it. A sheep.

But they don’t notice that it looks wrong. That it’s fur and eyes are inky black, or that the shadows of the cave seem to move on their own. The captain fires a spell and kills it instantly.

“Over here,” He shouts as it falls. Ace, Kalim, and him walk towards the corpse whose wool appears to blend into the darkness. More sheep materialize as the light gets closer.

”Look at all this food! Look at all these sheep! Can you believe this cave has all this for us to keep?!” Kalim babbles. The captain suppresses the urge to roll his eyes at the cheerful man’s excitement. His mood made sense, they hadn’t had fresh meat for months. Ace looks around approvingly.

“I’ve got to hand it to you both, this is quite the treat,” Ace looks at the small herd that gathers around them, “There are sheep here to feed the entire fleet!”

The men behind them begin looking hungrily at the sheep slowly closing in around them. The captain looks at the sheep suspiciously.

“It’s almost too perfect, too good to be true,” He muses, “Why would the blotfruit eaters pass up on all this food?-“

“Who are you?” A childlike voice interrupts. The group startles and the sheep vanish into pools of black ink. Kalim sends some light further into the cave and the party recoils at the sight of their host.

A wooden doll is collapsed onto the ground. It is the size of a young boy, about ten or eleven, with bright blue hair painted on like flames. Its head snaps up, revealing only a singular cracked hole on the right side of its face, blot pouring out. Each limb has a long black tendril attached to it. A large mass of blot, twenty times its size clings onto the walls of the cavern. A phantom.

“Hey there….we’re just travelers,” the captain raises his hands above his head, “We come in peace.”

“You killed my sheep…,” The doll lurches forward, standing up, “My favorite sheep…” Its head tilts to the side and slowly rocks forward before snapping straight up, making eye contact with the captain. He and his crew sneak closer together.

A single drop of blot drips down the doll’s wooden face, “What gives you the right to deal a pain so deep? Don’t you know that pain you sow is pain you reap?”

It lunges towards them, laughing maniacally, “Time to drink your blood right where you stand!”

The phantom behind the doll travels across the walls and blocks the entrance. The doll stops right in front of the captain’s face.

“Your life now is in my hands, before I’m done, you will learn that it’s not so fun to take. You came to my home to steal, and now you’ll become my meal!” It taunts.

The captain starts to speak, but is interrupted by the puppet. “A trade you see? Take from you like you took from me,” The faceless doll almost appears to smile.

The captain weighs their options. Their best chance of survival is to outwit the doll and phantom.

”There’s been a misunderstanding, we never came here to steal,” the captain’s eyes glow red slightly, “But I can see we’ve done some damage, maybe you and I can make a deal?”

The doll snaps its head to the side interested.

Seeing that it took the bait, the captain continues, “I’ll give you the finest treasures, so long as we leave alive, you can have the world’s best tasting wine…”

“Wine?

The captain smirks and opens his canteen, sprinkling something in it. He hands it to the doll, “Have a drink, one sip and you’ll understand, the power that’s in your hand. Wine so fresh, you’d never want to drain human flesh again. Then we will be on our way, no bloodshed here today. A trade you see? A gift from you and a gift from me…”

The doll looks at the canteen confused and then pours it into the eyehole. It grunts and snaps its attention back to the captain.

“I’d like to thank you! Stranger what’s your name?” It asks cheerfully.

“My name is Nobody,” The lie flows off his tongue.

“Nobody! For your….gift, I’ve one to reply.”

“I’m so glad we see eye-to-eye.”

“Yes, you shall be the final man to DIE!!!”

The captain hesitates, “Wait…what?”

A wave of blot oozes out of the cavern walls towards his men.

“WATCH OUT!”

_________________________________________

[fanartandfanfiction]

The Saga of Meatball the snake, Chapter 2

“Today is Sunday, so I don’t have classes today, but I will tomorrow. You’ll be alone for most of the day.”

“Can I be your seeing eye snake?”

“I don’t think so.” Ominis smiled and extended his hand. “Come on, we’ve got to go see Melody.”

“Yay!”

Meatball slithered up and around his neck and Ominis pulled out his wand and headed towards the garden. Melody had said she was going to bring lunch and all he needed to bring was Meatball and himself.

“She’s here. She’s wearing a dress. Are you sure this isn’t a date?” 

“I don’t think so. Maybe she thinks it is?” Ominis replied.

“I don’t know, but she’s definitely one of the more attractive humans I’ve seen. Some of them are quite weird looking.”

“Hello Ominis! Hello Meatball!” Ominis was surprised when he felt arms around him. “Sorry, I’m a hugger. Apparently Meatball is too!” She laughed as Meatball coiled tightly around them, forcing them against each other.

“Let go of us at once!” 

“How about a ‘you’re welcome?’ Now you’re close to her. Doesn’t she smell nice?”

“Yes.” He answered in English, then blushed. 

“Yes what?” Melody asked, still against him due to Meatball.

“Oh, sorry, he asked if he could explore. Yes, but don’t go too far. People might be frightened to see a snake roaming around.”

“Oh, that reminds me! I have something for Meatball if he’d let us go.”

“A present?” Meatball said excitedly and finally released his hold. 

“I made you a collar! So that way everyone knows you’re a pet and that it’s ok.”

“Um, how is a collar going to stay up on a snake? He’s the same width all the way down, it will just slide around.”

“Um, hello? Magic! Meatball, would you like to wear a collar?”

“What’s a collar?”

“It’s kind of like a belt that goes around your neck, not tightly though. It just shows people that you’re a pet, not wild.”

“So everyone knows I’m yours?” 

“Correct.”

“Then yes! I’m excited.” 

“Alright, he’s excited about it.” Ominis smiled at Melody as Meatball slithered down.

“I even put a little tag on it! It says ‘Meatball, if lost, return me to Ominis Gaunt.”

“Where did you find a snake collar?”

“I made it! Fairly simple.” Melody hummed happily as she put the collar on Meatball.

“Would you mind telling me what it looks like?”

“Of course! I made it Slytherin green, and the tag is a shiny gold color. Meatball looks very dashing in it.”

“I wanna see!” 

“Um, he wants to see.” Ominis said to her. 

“Alright, I have a compact in my bag. Here you go!”

“Oh! I’ve never seen myself before. I’m quite a handsome snake. And the collar looks nice on me. Please tell her thank you.”

“He likes it and says thank you.”

“Aw, anything for my little Meatball. Alright, I’m afraid I didn’t bring anything too fancy for lunch. I made peanut butter and jam sandwiches, but I used lingonberry jam from my country.”

“Oh, where are you from?”

“Sweden. I think you’ll like it, it’s not too different from regular jam. Have a seat! I spread a picnic blanket out.”

Ominis sat down and she handed him a sandwich.

“Thank you.” He smiled at her.

“Of course! I love picnicking. I also brought chips, some drinks, and some cookies. And, um, a dead mouse for Meatball if he wants it. Don’t worry, it’s not in the picnic basket.”

“She’s so thoughtful!” Meatball happily flicked his tongue.

She pulled out a mouse from her bag and put it on a plate for Meatball. Ominis took a bite of his sandwich and was surprised at how good the jam was. “This is delicious! What kind of jam did you say this was?”

“Lingonberry.” 

“I’ve never had it, it’s wonderful!” 

After he swallowed another bite of his sandwich, he turned to her. “I have to ask. You seem very comfortable around snakes. Not many people would’ve picked up a snake, especially one of his size.

“Are you calling me fat?” 

“No, you’re just long! Longer than the average snake. He thought I called him fat.” 

“To answer your question, I had a pet snake growing up. My parents worked with exotic beasts and traveled around a lot. They found Bologna, he’d been raised by humans and his owners were killed and he was left alone. He would’ve died if my parents hadn’t rescued him.  He couldn’t be released because he’d literally never been without a human. So they brought him home.”

“I'm sorry, Bologna?” Ominis asked with a smile. 

“I was six, and that was my favorite food. Anyway, Bologna was the sweetest snake. He was always very careful around me. We were inseparable, he slept in my bed with me sometimes. I’m not a parseltongue, but I’ve always had a connection with snakes.”

“I can tell. I don’t know what it is, but when she touches me I feel a strange warmth.”

“He says he can tell, and that when you touch him, he feels a strange warmth.”

“Interesting! I’ll have to look into that.”

“So, Bologna, what kind of snake was he?”

“He was a boa constrictor. About 10 feet long.”

Ominis’ eyes widened. “I was picturing something much smaller.” 

“Nope! Bologna was a big boy. I miss him. He passed away a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Truthfully, I’d considered getting another snake, so being with Meatball is really comforting. 

“You’re more than welcome to come visit him any time you’d like.” Ominis smiled. 

“That would be great!” 

They ate their lunch and chatted, getting to know each other. He learned that she dreamed of opening a beast sanctuary and that she spoke four languages. 

Meatball slithered up Ominis’ arm. “I want to sit with both of you. Scoot over by her.” 

“Oh please, you’re just trying to get us together.” 

“Of course I am. Now scoot!”

“Apologies, Meatball said he wants to sit with both of us and requested I move over by you.”

“You have the better spot against the tree, I’ll come move over by you!” He felt her sit beside him, legs touching. 

“You can put your arm behind me again if it’s more comfortable.”

“Oh, alright.” He gently moved his arm to rest behind her. His fingers brushed against the soft material of her dress. 

“So have you ever had any other pets?” Melody asked him. 

“My older brother had a snake, but he was an asshole.”

“Your brother or the snake?”

“Both.”

“I have a sister. We don’t get along. She’s older than me and a total snob. Aria used to tell people that I was adopted and that’s why I was so weird.”

“Why did she call you weird?” Ominis frowned. 

“Because of my fondness for snakes and other creatures. And I’ll admit, I was an odd child. I didn’t have many friends and I spent all my free time with the beasts.”

“That doesn’t make you odd. You’re just a caring person.”

“Truthfully, I always felt like I connected more with the beasts than people.” Melody said, stroking Meatball’s head.

“So you’re Melody, your sister is Aria…I’m sensing a theme.” Ominis smiled. 

“Yes, my mother is Harmony and my grandmother is Viola.”

“Is there a reason you all have music based names?”

“My grandmother was an opera singer.”

“She wouldn’t happen to be Viola Canti, would she?”

“Ah! You know her.” Melody smiled. 

“Oh yes, my family is big on classical music and opera. So are you a singer?”

“When I have to be. Every Christmas, my family comes together and makes us all sing. I enjoyed it when I was younger, but not so much anymore. Now it’s just stressful.”

“How so?”

“Well, when your grandmother is a world renowned opera singer, you’re kind of under a lot of scrutiny.”

“I could see that.”

“So tell me about you.” Melody said to him.

“What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know…things you like to do, things you don’t like, normal stuff.”

“Well, I’m quite the introvert, so I enjoy reading. I particularly enjoy putting in headphones and enjoying an audio book, though my wand does allow me to read physical books. I don’t like it when Sebastian drags me along on one of his crazy adventures, but he needs someone with a level head to go with him, otherwise I’d fear he’d never return.”

“How did you and Sebastian become friends?”

“We’ve been friends for a very long time. In our first year, after I was sorted into Slytherin, I was terrified that I’d be treated differently because I’m a Gaunt, and because of my blindness. But Sebastian sat beside me, broke a cookie in half, and handed one half to me. He didn’t treat me any differently than anyone else. He and his sister Anne were a lifeboat that first year for me. I’d made friends who didn’t care about my last name or my disability, and they helped me acclimate to life at Hogwarts.”

Melody was silent for a moment. “So why would people treat you differently because you’re a Gaunt?”

He hated this part. It always made things awkward and uncomfortable. “The Gaunt family is one of the most notorious dark wizarding families. They’re known for their viciousness and cold-blooded demeanor. So usually when people find out I’m a Gaunt, they turn the other way.”

“That’s ridiculous.” 

“I think so, but I also don’t blame them. I don’t like being a Gaunt for the same reasons.”

He jumped when he felt Melody take his hand. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I want you to know I don’t care about your last name. I think you’re a very kind person, and I won’t treat you differently all because of a silly last name.”

“Thank you, Melody. That means a lot.”

“Kiss her!” 

“No.”

Meatball curled tightly around both of them, forcing them to sit even closer. Ominis could smell Melody’s sweet perfume and feel her silky hair brushing against his skin. 

“Meatball!” Ominis chastised him. “Loosen your grip.”

“No.”

“Stop this right now.” He glared. 

“Gee, is it that bad being close to me?” Melody asked with a giggle.

“Oh! It’s not that at all. I just thought you might be uncomfortable being this close with someone you barely know.”

“Not at all. Besides, I’d say we’re friends now, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes. I’d like that.” Ominis felt a flutter in his chest. Someone was choosing to be close to him and they wanted to be his friend. That didn’t happen often.

“It’s so nice out today.” Melody sighed. “Ideally I’d just stay here all day, but the poachers are due to arrive about two.”

“How do you know that?” Ominis asked. 

“I have an insider. He gives me the info I need, and in return I DON’T kick his ass.”

“I suppose that’s a good bargain.” Ominis smiled. “Sebastian mentioned he’d gone with you a few times.”

“Yes, but we have different approaches. I prefer a more stealthy approach. Sebastian goes in blasting fire. I ask him to come in with me for the bigger camps, but most of the time I prefer to do it quietly and alone. This one today shouldn’t be too bad. Probably about 15-20 poachers.”

“That’s one of the smaller ones?” Ominis asked, surprised.

“Yep. The really small ones are easy. Usually 5-10 people. You could come with me sometime if you’d like.”

“I think I’d probably hold you back.” He smiled. 

“Up to you! The worst part is the trek through the forbidden forest. You never know what you’ll find there. Though sometimes I find some good potion ingredients. I bring them to Professor Sharp.”

“That’s kind of you.”

“I know he can use them, and it’s difficult for him to procure them himself sometimes. He often gives me healing potions. Also he kind of looks out for me.” Melody was silent for a moment. “My father…is absent a lot. He and my mother divorced and he spends all his time on expeditions. Professor Sharp is kind of like a father figure to me. I know it’s weird, he’s my teacher, but he looks out for me more than my own father ever did.”

“I think that’s nice.” Ominis gave her a reassuring smile.

“The first time he caught me coming back late, he was ready to give me detention, until he realized I was injured. He brought me to his office and asked what had happened. When I explained, I expected to get in more trouble. Instead he said, while he didn’t approve of what I was doing, it was a good thing and to come see him before I went out again. He’d give me all the potions I needed.”

“That’s nice that he helps you out.”

“Yeah, he’s not as bristly as he looks.” She smiled. 

They sat and chatted for a little while more before she looked at the time. “Crap, I’ve gotta go get changed and head to the forest. I had fun today!”

“Me too.” Ominis smiled. 

“Let’s do it again sometime. Alright Meatball, time to let me go.” She started to get up when Ominis grabbed her arm. 

“I know it’s silly, but would you let me know when you got back safely?”

“That’s not silly. I’ll text you.” She squeezed his arm, then used her wand to clean up the picnic.

“Alright, see you later.” He stood up and she pulled him into a hug. He was briefly overwhelmed with the closeness of her, her perfume, her warm hands, her soft dress. Then she pulled away and left. 

“You like her.”

“Oh hush.”

[hearts-are-connected]

Self-indulgent snippet, don't come for me.

A gift for @pinkomcranger

-----------------------------------

It's only been a day since their next-door neighbors decided to take down the two large trees in their backyard, along with one in the front. Only having the money to get them cut, but not hauled away. To Saga's surprise, given Alex's known hatred of the outdoors, he'd volunteered to lend the folks a hand.

Casey assisted in cutting large pieces of tree branches and logs down to a manageable size for truck pick-up. It's not as if Saga hasn't seen Alex shirtless; they have a son for crying out loud; she's seen everything the man has to offer. That said, there's something different about seeing her husband shirtless now, dressed in only a pair of pants and work boots. Sawdust and dirt stick to his bare torso as beads of sweat run down his body. Watching from their window, Saga can't help feeling a little hot herself.

His lean frame sits out for the world to see as he lifts log after log onto his shoulders, tossing them to a pile meant for disposal. Even using a chainsaw a few times to cut them down for easier handling. She'd never seen this side of Casey before, but she was deeply enamored with it. 

As the sun began to set, the profiler watched as her husband slowly trekked back towards their house. Saga stayed in her spot by the window until the front door opened, the man's panting quickly reaching her ears. She hears him take a glass from the cabinet, and she hears the tap of the sink as he fills it, but she doesn't hear him approach their bedroom. Creeping out of the entryway, she peeks out into the kitchen.

Unashamedly, Saga ogles the man as his adam's apple bobs with every swallow. She licks her lips in turn as he disappears from view to refill the glass. Leaning back into their bedroom, Saga tousles her loose hair in the mirror before heading out, and stepping around the island of their kitchen to find him lying on the tile. His second glass of water, this one half-finished, is sitting on the counter.

"You stink, cowboy."

Saga can't help biting at her lip as she drinks in his haggard appearance, kneeling down to sit beside him as he lay there. Inching closer, he moves until his temple can rest against her thigh, the sweat from his hair leaving a damp spot on her skin.

"You don't," he swallows, taking in a deep breath and letting it out before locking eyes with her, "say, Saga. I can't imagine why I would smell so bad."

"It's not a bad look for you, though," she laughs, stroking back his hair as she leans down and captures his mouth. He tastes like salt and earth as he kisses her back, grabbing at the back of her head to pull her in closer.

"How about I get a shower, and then we can continue this in the bedroom?"

"I dunno, Alex. I think you need someone to scrub your back."

Her heart skips as a deep groan sounds in his throat, his lips catching hers one more time before he's up from the floor with her in his arms. 

"I'm all yours, Anderson."

[solbeans]

thats IT im biting moontails! get! smaller!!! stop it!! >:((( how do u exist in metropolis!!!!! too big!!! ur ruining my good and logical cup sizes!!!!!! do u KNOW how many cats could fit in a moontail cup? like at least 2!!!!

[strixludica]

A little christmas episode I wrote for my Lancer x Mass Effect fic

Farlight Blue - Spegeldal - Sparr​

In the streets of Spegeldal, the celebrations of Yuletide were in full swing: little children dressed as the Yule Lads went from door to door, threatening tricks and curses if they didn't get some eggnog; while their older siblings competed in teams to topple the others' snowman with snowballs. In every plaza scaled down statues of hunted Vast, in straw and timber, burned bright and warm against the cold gleam of the aurora. From a window in Clan Blåman's meadhall, Farlight watched their merriment with mixed yearning and exhaustion. It really did look like a lot of fun playing in the snow, but they'd needed to put on four layers of coats and socks just not to have their body go numb in the harsh sparri winter, and if it hadn't been for those weird nets called tennis rackets, their limbs would have sunk to the joints at every step. Despite the rigors of the weather, visiting Sigurd's home was a welcome relief after the tour to Cradle. Aside from everything else - and there had been a lot of else - this foray into human society had tested Farlight's proficiency in speech: they'd thought they were quite used to speaking with humans; they'd done it their whole lives. But once they'd had to do it with complete aliens for months, Farlight had truly realised how convoluted it could be, how exhausting it was to have to think in loops to figure out what conclusion someone expected you to take from their words, what assumptions they were based on, instead of simply exchanging information. Here on Sparr though, despite the many differences, Farlight almost felt as if they were witnessing again. When they'd first seen him wandering Hivehome, Farlight had thought Sigurd was especially extroverted and blunt; but it turned out that was just how his people were: they wore their feelings on their faces. The Union leaders and bureaucrats they'd spoken to had been courteous and polite, and many others even friendly; but always guardedly, afraid to cause offence and careful of what they were implying. The Blåman's excitement and warmth radiated off them like heat from a fire: it was clear without ever being said that being Sigurd's friend made Farlight everyone's friend. For hours, they and the people of the clan had exchanged stories: a saga of the harrowing march from the Yuga Pocket for one of the war against the Machine, a tale of a hunting expedition for one of recovering ancient artefacts, a recounting of the great caverns under the ice where the Vast dwelled for a canticle of doomed Hivehome and its vast undersea. Finally, however, they'd had to take a rest, and so the children were ushered out to play, their parents had taken to drinking and mingling among themselves, and Farlight had been left free to wander on their own. The hall was crowded with mementos, relics and trophies: on stones etched with Sagas, weapons sized for mech and human alike menaced and gleamed - Tallgrass and William would die of envy when Farlight returned to Mycol Fields - from the walls and ceiling were hung the heads of frightful beasts, some the size of a Warform, and one horned, three-eyed skull between whose fangs Endeavor themselves could have sat with room to spare. But just as Sigurd had declared almost three years ago, the place of honour was reserved for what the two of them had brought all the way from Hercynia: an assault hardsuit made with carapace Farlight themselves had gifted, and The Sword. Divested of the augmentations which Sigurd had installed on it so he could always take it into battle, the metre-and-a-half long scythe of gleaming, steely black bone sat upon an inscribed pillar, whose runes read:

BROOD-SIBLING'S MOLT GIFTED UNTO SIGURD FREYSON BY SUPREME COMMANDER TERROR OF HIVEHOME ON THE THIRD OF AUGUST 5014U SLAYER OF OVERLAND/KINGWATCHER AND ITS SPAWN IN THE LANGUAGE OF OF THE EGREGORIAN KIND IS ETCHED UPON ITS SIDES THE LIVING SAGA OF ITS GIFTING​

So that's what Sigurd and his Lance had been pestering Memory about the evening after they'd recovered the eggs. The sides of the sword were etched from tip to handle with osteomemetics - it was a complex memory indeed. On the left side, Farlight witnessed Sigurd's memory of [Surprise/Joy/Pride], his kneeling down in [Awe/Amazement], taking the blade with [Reverence/Love/Care]. The greatest warrior of the Egregorian people, who had so much reason to distrust him, had just entrusted him with a blade of their very flesh, an incomparable [Trophy/Relic]. There was only one way the [Memory/Legend] of his battles could go now. Sigurd would defend Terror and their kin with deeds [Worthy/Equal] of that blade, or die trying. On the right side, Farlight witnessed Terror's [Surprise/Doubt] at the sight of Sigurd swearing his loyalty unto his last breath, a moment of [Suspicion] that this was an attempt at [Flattery/Manipulation], and then the sight of that wide smile erupting across Sigurd's face, those eyes bright like a child's, and the [Realisation/Shift/Understanding] that the human in front of them meant every word he was saying. [Joy/Laugh/Relief/Hope] Maybe better times were coming. Farlight realised Sigurd had been standing next to them for some time. "Is the display adequate for the gift?", he asked, "I'd hate to think we weren't doing it justice" "It's perfect", Farlight replied. And they meant it.

[gaytanimura]

Kiryu Kazuma. One of the greatest and most attractive characters ever thought up. He can fight at peak strength, take out enemies with heat moves, and best of all, he's red colored and knows how to handle the Fellas. Speaking of Fellas, the Yakuza universe might also be classified as "Hot Dude Heaven" because there's such a mess of very beautiful and tough men that it will make you love the franchise even more! And since Valentine's Day is around the corner, I've been inspired to make a top 10 list of the most beautiful male yakuza characters. Grab yourself a snack and a glass of staminan X, and try not to reach through the screen because HERE WE GO!

10: Try this question on for size. Who chases and fights Kiryu all the time and wields a powerful tanto? Why it's Majima Goro of course! Though more of a cutie than a hottie, you can't deny the fact that he’s still attractive. Two things that make him attractive are the fact that he wears snake skin jacket, and when have you ever seen an eyepatch on somebodies left eye? I haven't! So once again, Majima Goro is lovely; that is until he goes mad dog and starts cutting stuff with his tanto.

Who's at number 9? It's this 6th chairman from tojo clan. Daigo, from Yakuza 2. He got a message saying that Tojo Clan was under attack by the opposite clan Omi Alliance. He doesn't do much except get shot in the chest and drink alcohol. The real reason he lands at the #9 is that he becomes Shinada Tatsuo’s sweetheart, something Shinada needed for a long while.

Numero Ocho. Kiryu Kazuma’s mother, Kashiwagi. Hes attractive and the size of an average human mother. What really surprises me about him is that the ex-detective, Koichi Adachi, falls in love with him. Kinda silly, don't you think? He’s another character that doesn't do much, but in Yakuza 7, He helps Ichiban Kasuga have a place to stay along with his friends.

What number's next? Seven, of course. Yoshitaka Mine from Yakuza 3. People always root for the good guys, but sometimes, the bad guys steal the show.His mathematic IQ is equal to Sera. He also happens to be the smartest member of Tojo Clan. I wonder why he isn't the chairman. Like Ryuji Goda and Nishiki, his specialty is dying. With a stunning laugh and soulless eyes, Mine will rock your socks. If only we could see him take wing.

Numero Six. Ichiban Kasuga from Yakuza 7. Named after the number one, Ichiban is the son of Masumi Arakawa. He’s a newer character that hardly does a thing except beg his brother to stop being so violently mysgonisic. He also traps himself inside a box so that he could get a jump on lower ranked Liumang. When you're the son of a person in the killer Arakawa gang, you need to look your best and Ichiban delivers perfectly. That's why he’s #6.

Number #1, #2, #3, #4, #5! Ah-Ah-Ahhh! Saejima Taiga from Yakuza 5. How could you go wrong with a guy that looks like this? He can fight nearly as good as Kiryu and he went from being a Prisoner to being a Top Tojo Clan executive. Next to Majima he looks more collected than the other characters. Who could top someone who has a bald ass head?

This fella standing at number 4: Ryuji Goda. One word: TITS. How would you like to have that cup size? I mean Ryuji could play around in the Himalayas for hours and he would be perfectly fine! Also, his blonde hair makes him look like an American. I really like the fact that he has a relationship with the Jingweong agent Joon-Gi Han. The combination of this gay couple makes these two a reliable couple. But what lands Ryuji in the #4 spot is that his attitudes is apparently different from the other males.

Next up is #3. What's better than having a Male with Huge Tits? How about a Male with Huge Tits and Ass? Shinada Tatsuo, another Kiryu Saga has that feature. He’s Active, knows exactly what to do as a Nightlife Writer, and even fought Amon once. He’s also the guy of Daigo's dreams. Heh, lucky him. His younger self in the spin-off: The Wandering Dragon is just downright hot! Just look at them big tiddies! Now we're talkin'!

1, 2, button my shoe! Kiryu Kazuma. There's a lot to say about this character. He’s the heir to the Kazama Family, Yakuza’s first official protagonist, the only character that used to say slurs, brave and athletic, the most kind character, and is like a father to Haruka. In the Sixth installment of the series, The Song of Life, one antagonist, the sexy Joon-Gi Han constantly tries to woo Kiryu, but doesn't succeed because... he fucking dies! The Dragon is also a semi-perfect example of an excellent protagonist, although there were a couple of times when he really snapped and acted like a lunatic; in the early installments, that is. But overall, Kiryu Kazuma really stands out amongst the slew of males not just because he’s Yakuza’s first official protagonist, or because he’s the only one who show his ass three times, but because in the comics, he grew very perky boobs, and married Majima in the future, becoming the 5th Chairman.

So, you've seen a Yakuza Chairman, a baseball star, two gorgeous Ex-Yakuza, and even a Dragon! Who could possibly top those kinds of Males? Well, get ready folks; this is the #1 hottest Yakuza Male character. Yu Nanba. If anybody denies it, how dare you? This man can summon pigeons, he’s as strong as a paper bag, and is a manloser, seducing other characters into getting what he wants. Instead of having one love interest, he has two! Ichiban and Tianyou Zhao. Being a homeless man, his only interested in one object set; Alcohol, especially the Legendary Malt. There actually have been situations where Nanba’s cock and balls has been exposed, but it eventually got censored. What a price to pay. I think the best part about this beauty is that he wears three different outfits unlike the other male characters. And who wouldn't want to Sleep at anytime, be strong as a fetus, and flirt with any male, anytime, anywhere. These three traits make Yu Nanba triumph over all of the Yakuza malws. My hat goes off to you Sega Team Japan. You oughta be proud.

There ya have it folks. Those were the hottest male fellas in the Yakuza universe. I hope you enjoyed it, happy Valentine's Day, and I'll see you later. HERE WE GO!

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

I think my most unfortunate night in retail (that was specifically caused by retail related bullshit -- my worst night was the night I realized I needed to break up with my now-ex, and cried in front of my coworker), was the night a lady pissed on the floor

So the crew that night is me, Jane my favorite manager, and Elliott my favorite sales floor worker. A lady who looks a little...not all present mentally...comes in, wanders around for a bit, and leaves without buying anything. No big deal, we're in a seedy part of town so I've seen much more bizarre shit

A few minutes later, Elliott goes up to Jane and says "hey, that lady spilled her drink on the floor, do you know where the paper towels are?"

"Elliott, she didn't have a drink."

Realization dawns on us and we go through the five stages of grief in record speed

Jane, to her credit, volunteers herself to clean it up. Poor woman does not deserve this. Like I said, she's my favorite manager. But someone has to clean it, so she grabs some boots from the fishing department, puts on latex gloves, and gets to work

I bought her a Starbucks card and gave it to her the following week. Please enjoy how I decided to decorate it:

Thus ends the saga of the store's floor getting pissed on, and us workers getting pissed off. Honestly not sure if it was worse than the time someone took a horse sized shit on the floor but that's a story for another time

[ariel-seagull-wings]

HOW AN X MEN MOVIE TRILOGY COULD GO

First Movie:

Main plot inspired by the X-Men Evolution episode "X-Treme Measures", introducing the more sympathetic portrayal of the Morlocks.

The X-Men Team, having a dynamic of instructors and students mixing the team of Giant Size X Men, The Animated Series and X Men Evolution, is formed by teachers Storm, Wolverine (who is in a romantic relationship with Storm), Beast, Banshee, Forge, and Shiro Yoshida, and students Kitty Pride, Jubilee, Havock, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Nightcrawler and Spyke.

Team members past is briefly explored trough flashbacks.

The family of Mystique, Destiny and Rogue are allied to Magneto, who is one of the few people who can touch Rogue without her taking his life force away because of his powers, which he uses to help her loose her fears and gain control of her absorving abilities.

Rogue and Nightcrawler are siblings who love each other, yet have differing loyalties and don't want to choose between their mentors, and this complex dynamic mirrors that of Charles and Magneto.

The main plot is that Magneto is leading explosions of a factory of a sports drink (called Pow-R8 in Evolution, but it can receive another name in film) and the X Men led by Xavier go to fight him, thinking it as a crazy terrorist atack.

But they later learn that in actuallity, the sports drink is a poison against mutants and the factory is letting its waste fall in the sewers waters, which affects the Morlocks, mutants whose appearance can hardly be hidden from the public and so hide underground.

Magneto has taken then under their wing, encouraging them to hide no more and fight for liberation, starting by destroying the factories of the poisonous drink and its product.

He calls them out on the fact that they ignored the Morlocks plight and the attempts to appear respectable to humans, which caused the X Men in almost helping someone they tought as victim (executivos of the factories) on their own distruction.

The two groups part ways, and Charles Xavier and his X Men are left to reflect on their trials and mistake, while hoping to improve as they prepare to publicly denounce the sports drinks business for their polution, which will create a new enemy they will gladly take.

Second Movie:

While on the happy side the X Men watch the intimate and simple wedding of Storm and Wolverine, the downer side is the rising of the terrorist group Friends of Humanity in politics treatening the safety and well being of mutants.

Inspired by the Animated Series two part episode "Time Fugitives", The Friends of Humanity attack trough biological war by creating a plague that they blame the mutants for spreading.

Enter the mutant Gambit, a former thief who proposes a peace aliance between Magneto and Charles Xavier and offers himself as an expy to investigate the Friends of Humanity and the origin of the plague.

A romance starts to form between Gambit and Rogue.

In the climatic battle, Wolverine lets himself catch the plague so that mutants can develop anti-bodies against it, while the samples and formulas for the vírus are destroyed.

Third Movie:

Gambit has joined the X-Men, whom which Magneto and his followers also agreed to join forces in the fight for mutant rights.

The main tread are the warrying forces of Mister Sinister and Apocalypse.

Mister Sinister starts kidnapping mutants to fuse their powers so as to create the ultimate weapon against Apocalypse.

While Apocalypse turns Destiny, Mystique, Magneto and Charles Xavier into his Knights.

So now the heros must resist their objetification into weapons made by Mister Sinister, and stop Apocalypse's destruction of the World, and the key to solve this situation may be on Rogue's absorving powers...

As for the Dark Phoenix Saga?

Please don't ever try to do it on film.

@thealmightyemprex @minimumheadroom @themousefromfantasyland @the-blue-fairie @professorlehnsherr-almashy @amalthea9