#the drama. it's like watching people in high school fight but it's over whether an anime boy is gay coded or not

[thrilling-oneway]

Last reblog that's the state of the tvtropes edit war that I keep mentioning

[wander-wren]

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Matthew

Time for the promised defense of our favorite asshole, with analysis of my favorite song from the show, “Are You There?”

Brief disclaimers: I haven’t seen a staging of the show in YEARS, so there may be some missing context, but I have done my best. I am also coming at it as a complete outsider, being both an agnostic raised “non-denominational” Christian and someone firmly removed from most of the drama in my own high school.

I want to make this post accessible to non-Bare fans, mostly so I can foist it on my unsuspecting friends, so I will begin with a synopsis and do my best to explain everything.

Bare: A Pop Opera is a coming of age story about two boys, Peter and Jason (secretly dating) at a Catholic boarding school. The central conflict is that Peter is tired of being closeted and wants to come out, but Jason is terrified and refuses. Orbiting them are their friend group, Nadia (Jason’s sister), Ivy, and Matthew, who each have their own set of problems that gets tangled with the boys.

“Are You There?” takes place at the point where all of the setup begins to coalesce into conflict. Our situation is thus: Jason and Peter have had multiple fights over whether or not to come out. Some of this was instigated by a rave they both went to, where they danced together and no one batted an eye; Peter uses this to argue that the world isn’t so harsh, while Jason thinks Peter is naive and a rave is very different from the whole world. We’ve also been introduced to Jason’s father (from Jason’s perspective, at least), who appears to be very hard on his kids and emotionally absent. Jason is also popular and has a reputation as a “ladies man,” whereas Peter seems more reserved, awkward, and unnoticed, which gives Jason more to lose socially by coming out.

In the background, we have Ivy, who has a reputation for sleeping around and seems to be generally regarded as a bit spoiled and vain. We’ve seen her and Nadia trade a lot of insults, but outside of that she seems to be grounded and sweet, and sings a song called “Portrait of a Girl” where she struggles with how people view her.

Nadia isn’t too relevant here, unfortunately, but she’s awesome so everyone say hi Nadia, we appreciate you.

Matt has yet to have too much characterization. He deals drugs to the student population and acts as the ringleader for the rave adventure, but otherwise doesn’t do much. He does have a song called “Wonderland” where he tells the group about some new drug he wants them to try. He also sees Jason and Peter dancing at the rave, but I’m not sure if we know this when “Are You There?” occurs; he reveals it later in another song, but without seeing the whole production I can’t say if we’re meant to know before that. We also know he has a huge crush on Ivy that she doesn’t reciprocate, but she hasn’t outright turned him down.

“Are You There?” takes place during Ivy’s birthday party, a week after the rave. Matt and Peter both escape the party separately; Matt because Ivy rebuffed him and went to dance with Jason, and Peter because Jason is dancing with Ivy. They pray about their issues, then discover they’re not alone outside and talk. Peter comes out to Matt and reveals he and Jason are dating, which Matt at the time accepts.

Later in the show, Matt will start a fistfight with Jason and call him a faggot, and a bit later out him and Peter to their entire class. Based on the fact that Matt only targets Jason, this is less out of homophobia and more out of petty jealousy that Ivy likes Jason instead of him. The outing, among other problems not relevant here (and institutional homophobia, which is relevant), leads Jason to suicide.

So, uh, Matt’s an asshole. But! I like him anyway, and we’re gonna talk about why. Rewind to Ivy’s party, this song, and this pivotal conversation between Peter and Matt.

Matt begins the song by asking God, “Do you know—well of course you do— / What it’s like to stand outside? / To watch the world and wish / you didn’t hurt so much you cried? / I know I’m not the only one / and I know I shouldn’t care / but I feel these things are real / I wish I felt you there / And if I did, I’d ask you / How come life is so unfair?”

I believe this is the one time in the show we see Matt’s real feelings. The rest of the song I think is also probably very genuine, but Matt is the type to put up a front even around his friends, so it’s hard to be sure.

So this gives us a lot of new information about Matthew right away: he feels alone and like an outsider, he’s depressed, he’s conditioned to dismiss his own feelings but doesn’t want to, and he’s struggling with his faith.

I’ve already made a post about the theory that Matt had a relative who died during the school year. You can read that, or, TLDR: A dead girl named Megan Lloyd is referenced in a throwaway line in a song that comes after “Are You There?” Since Matthew’s last name is also Lloyd, it seems like they are probably related, and this could contribute to his behavior/attitude, especially since her death is treated as a joke and never brought up again.

It’s possible that Megan’s death (and its dismissal) contributes to Matt feeling apart and to him wrestling with faith.

(An aside: I do love this song because of it’s opening verses. Something about the interjection of “of course you do” is very humanizing of God and very sweetly telling of the boys’ view/relationship to him. I also think “of course” is one of the best phrases in the English language, generally. Of course.)

Peter sings a verse with similar themes, and the boys sing together: “Are you there? Are you there? / Do you watch me when I cry? / And if it’s in your power / how can you sit idly by? / I try so hard to please you / but you never seem to see / Is it my fate to sit and wait? / Wonder what my struggle means? / I wish I knew that someone out there cared / Cared for me.”

I’ve italicized the lines that Matt sings alone (with Peter singing the lines following each one alone). Overall the chorus doesn’t do too much except nail home how lost and somewhat bitter both boys feel. Matt wishing that someone cared about him serves to highlight his loneliness, even though he has friends and seems popular.

At this point the boys briefly stop singing and just speak. Matt calls, “Who’s out there?” and when Peter responds, “Matt?” he says, “Yeah, are you alright?”

The way Matt says this line in the official cast recording, at least, has always stuck out to me. He sounds so gentle and genuine, and you remember that they’re friends. We see that Matt isn’t oblivious or self-centered, even though on the surface he just seems like he’s being dramatic that his crush doesn’t like him back.

Anyway, the boys sit together and Matt offers Peter some wine. They commiserate vaguely about the party and life, and then Peter admits, “It sucks to be ignored,” to which Matt says (beginning to sing properly again), “Ugh, I know! I always fight to do what’s right / and this is my reward.”

It’s very odd to me that Matt says this. It does make him seem kind of childish and entitled; which, he’s a seventeen year old boy, they can be that way. But I wonder if it’s a hint to some inner world that we’re never properly shown, some moral struggle Matt has. Or he’s just being dramatic. Who knows!

The boys sing together again: “Are you there? Are you there? / Can you make some time for me? / They tell me that you’re out there / And they tell me that you see / I try to find the meaning, God / You know how hard I’ve tried / But I don’t know where I’m going / and I don’t have any guide.”

This verse doesn’t really give us too much that’s new. Wanting more from God and feeling lost are very very common feelings.

Matt then sings, alone, “They said things would get better / but I guess they lied.” This line always makes me want to cry a little bit, this hint at Matt’s utter hopelessness and sort of resignation to it.

Peter then sings, “Are you there? / He needs to give me more,” and Matt agrees, “I’ll drink to that.”

Peter is referring both to God and to Jason, but Matt of course only thinks he’s talking about God. Probably. It is kind of funny to read it as Matt agreeing Jason owes Peter more. But what I’m more interested in is the fact that Peter’s line is diegetic, since Matt responds to it, but Matt’s line right before doesn’t get a response, at least not in this recording. Did Peter hear him say things won’t get better? What would he think about that? Peter seems a pretty hopeful person in spite of it all.

At any rate, Peter continues by saying, “Who cares what people think? / We’re fine, we’ve been through this before / One day he’ll wake up / and realize all he needs is me / Until then, God, I wish I knew / I need a guarantee.”

So here is where the relationship is confirmed to Matthew. Matthew says nothing to him, instead directing his next line back to God: “I need to know for sure that you’ll be there.”

Peter echoes that sentiment and the song proper ends, fading into a soft piano. At this point Matt and Peter begin to dance together, with Matt asking “Who’s leading?” and Peter answering, “I don’t know.” Matt asks “Who usually leads?” thereby acknowledging Peter and Jason’s relationship (and subtly asking who tops, lmao).

Peter whispers into Matt’s ear, which we can assume is him properly coming out, then says goodnight and leaves.

Now. It is absolutely possible to read Matt as deceiving in this song and a so-closeted-he’s-homophobic type of guy, between the dance and his treatment of Jason, but as I said before I don’t believe his behavior is rooted in homophobia. I also don’t believe he was lying about his feelings to earn Peter’s trust and gain information from him. There’s nothing to suggest that is Matt’s goal.

I think Matt is straight and starts the dance as a genuine show of support for Peter. Remember, this show was written and takes place in ~2000. Matt is touching Peter, doing an intimate activity with him, right after Peter has come out. It is extremely significant and sweet. Asking who leads is an even more overt gesture of acceptance; Matt wants to hear about them and what their relationship is like. This moment is unbelievably special and I believe that’s why Peter decides to come out rather than play damage control.

Okay, so, that’s all well and good, but what about the part where Matt’s a total dickhead later on? Well.

Matt fights Jason and calls him a faggot the very next day, but he does so during their rehearsal for the school play, where a fight is already scripted; he just takes it too far and adds the slur, whispered for only Jason. I think that this was a response to Jason dancing with Ivy and Matt wanted to let Jason know he held something over him; I believe that if Jason and Ivy had gone no further, Matt wouldn’t have either.

But instead, when Peter arrives and tries to convince Jason, again, to come out, Jason breaks up with him.

Shortly after (it’s unclear how long; possibly the same day), Ivy approaches Jason to apologize for being so forward at her party. Jason says it’s okay and pretends to reciprocate his feelings, clearly in an attempt to be “normal” and distance himself from his queerness/relationship to Peter. He and Ivy end up having sex, and then everyone splits for spring break.

When they return from break, Ivy asks to meet with Jason before a play rehearsal, where she reveals that she’s pregnant. Jason loses it and they begin to argue. Matt appears, as well as other students ready for rehearsal, and tells Ivy that Jason is gay and will never treat her the way she deserves (like he would, if she would date him).

Peter runs in and asks what’s going on. This is the only time Matt is even a bit mean to him, asking “Ivy’s pregnant and your boyfriend’s the dad / So what does that make you?” Peter tries to deny it, and Matt tells him not to play dumb.

Jason shouts at Matt to shut up and Matt taunts him about seeing them dance at the rave. Jason shouts at him some more, trying to salvage the situation, before Peter reveals that Matt does know what he’s talking about, because Peter told him.

Jason storms out, has a crisis, etc, and ultimately ends up getting drugs from Matt and overdosing on the night of the school play. It’s not clear whether this drug deal was already arranged or not, or why Matt lets an obviously unstable classmate have pills. We don’t get to see his thought process.

I think that Matt genuinely didn’t grasp the severity of what he was doing. He knew it would hurt Jason, but he didn’t expect it to destroy him. As Jason takes the pills, Matt even says, “You know we’re still cool, right?” in a sort of clumsy, teen-guy attempt to smooth things over. It seems to cross his mind what Jason could do with the drugs, but he’s too nervous to confront him about it directly. Maybe he assumes he’ll have more time, to talk to Jason again or warn someone closer to him.

Matt apologizes better to Peter later in the same scene, saying, “Peter, what I did…that was messed up. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” (Peter only replies “It’s done,” for the curious.)

It is interesting how Matt responds differently to each of them, and implies he’s closer and more comfortable with Peter (makes sense, given his animosity/rivalry with Jason). I read this both as a real apology to Peter and an attempt to soothe his guilt over Jason; maybe he’s hoping Peter will put in a good word for him, though Peter and Jason are barely speaking at this point either.

The next we see Matt is in the final song, which takes place during the graduation ceremony. He begins his valedictorian speech, stammering, “I’d like to start with just a— / If we could take a moment— / If maybe we were silent / Or we had spoken / I tried to find the words to— / Just the right quotation / But I must confess I came up empty.”

Matt never seems unsure of himself before now. While metaphorically, yes, he sings a song about uncertainty, he doesn’t stumble over his words or have nothing to say. I would say Matt is acutely aware of his position, and that while he is referencing his speech when he talks about coming up empty, he’s also referring to that last moment of contact. That brief second where he could have said or done anything, could have made a difference, and only let Jason go.

That’s all we have of Matt. A conflicted, lonely, potentially-grieving kid who made a stupid, fucked-up choice in a fit of envy and has to deal with the consequences.

I’m unsure, at the end of all this, whether I have the dominant opinion. I’ve never really interacted with Bare’s fandom. I hope I have the dominant opinion. Matt’s pretty easy to hate and narratives are pretty easy to twist.

But I keep coming back to a dance outside a party. And I don’t believe Bare is a story in black and white.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Moonlight Chicken - Ep 5

I forgot this drama is only 8 episodes long so I'm over halfway through now. Wild. I'll be finished in a couple of days. Feels so quick after a 40 episode cdrama

So we're seeing what Alan and Wen were like before they broke up. I'm starting to have a theory about how this is going to end...

Also, it's weird seeing Mix kiss someone who isn't Earth. I've only seen the two of them together in dramas

Damn that fight scene was brutal but holy shit First and Mix are good actors. I was so focused on what was happening I forgot about the food that's in front of me

Thank god for Gong, who is apparently the only sensible person in this drama

Okay, here's my theory now that we're under the read more tag. I'm worried that the plot of this movie (two people who fall in love but don't end up together because of other factors) is what is going to happen to Jim and Wen. GMM typically doesn't make bittersweet BL dramas but this one is bit more mature than the others. I am bracing myself just in case this movie is foreshadowing.

That's about the highest level of praise you can get from a teenage boy

It's always Engineering or Architecture

Wen's just had a 'oh my kind of step-nephew is in love with a boy' moment. He looks so fond.

They don't live in a small town or anything. I don't think it's unreasonable for Jim to ask for someone who didn't show up at his restaurant and yell at him to deal with his loan application.

Yes, let's have a very thinly veiled conversation in which Wen is compared to a pen

It's just occurred to me that I've seen First play a high school student (The Eclipse), a college student (Not Me) and now a bank manager who I assume is meant to be in his late 20s or early 30s. All of these dramas were filmed in the last 2 years. That's some range!

Come on dude, don't be a total dick. You had better send off his loan application and not just toss it in the bin.

Okay, that's interesting given my comment above. Why DID Jim go to Alan's bank? Is he hoping to get turned down?

It's like he was reading my liveblog and is now answering all of my comments :D

Gong is my new favourite. He's so done with all Wen and Alan's nonsense

He is so right and he should say it

Well, let's see. We were having a nice romantic Christmas moment, then your ex-boyfriend who you still live with and share a bed with showed up. He yelled at you, then he yelled me, then he yelled you some more and shoved you over. Oh, yeah, and this dude is also in charge of whether I can borrow the money I need to save my business.

Okay, if this was closer to the end I'd be more worried that they were going to go with the bittersweet movie ending but given that there's another 3 episodes after this one maybe it'll be okay?

Alan really does like talking in metaphors. Wen was a pen, now Jim is chicken

I was saying today I am enjoying that for the most part characters in this actually use their words instead of just leaping to conclusions and making assumptions. Not always, but way more than most dramas. I'm glad Wen and Alan have finally had the mature conversation that they needed to have for both of them to move on

I still think Alan is going to end up with Gaipa but given that they haven't even met yet that may just be wishful thinking.

A good progressive boy

Bold of you to assume you can just move in with Jim

[eyeslikewatercoolers]

Hot Takes/Unpopular Opinions (in no particular order)

To preface this: none of these opinions reflect my thoughts or feelings on the queens mentioned (I felt the need to put this here bc this is still the internet) I was going to put my shipping opinions on here too, but I might save those for another day.

US seasons (mostly s15)

Season 15 was very predictable, and Sasha was a very predictable winner

Irene’s shade and reads to the other queens felt mean-spirited. It came off like she was being rude most of the time.

Aura was the correct winner for the Girl Groups episode. Her and Sasha were about the same level in the challenger, but Aura’s runway was better.

Anetra should have been in the bottom for the Girl Group challenge instead of Jax. Jax (minus the runway) was safe, at least

Luxx should have won the 50/50 challenge.

Marcia was kinda dragged along for most of the season.

The wrong twin was sent home first (if we disregard the lipsync). Sugar could of made it to at least the comedy challenge.

Some (not all) of Sasha’s runways were overhyped. Specifically the Beyoncé and Tye-Dye runways weren’t as on-par with the rest of her looks

The fact that Anetra made almost all of her runways herself isn’t talked about enough

The drama was overhyped. Most of the time it felt like watching people fight for no reason

They should film the finale in Vegas for all seasons like they did for s14

The unpredictability of s14 was a good change. It kept the engagement high and it’s fun to talk about.

Just because s13 had great runways and lip syncs, doesn’t make it a good season

Gigi isn’t really as much of a fashion queen as queens like Violet and Gottmik. She’s more modelesque

S11 is better than fans give it credit for

The ‘what would you say to your younger self’ is a total Emmy grab. It feels forced and doesn’t really add anything to the final judging decision (I skip it every time)

DRUK

UK1 is severely underrated, it gets overshadowed by the other seasons. Whether it be for better or worse

UK2 is better on first viewing than rewatch. The rewatch loses that extra something special

UK3 had a phenomenal cast, but the worst production

Jonbers is definitely a fashion queen. Her looks are more suited for editorials than live runways

DRDU and CDR (there’s not many so I’m combing them)

Kita gets overshadowed as a winner, due to how bad DU1 was

Spankie is the most underrated winner. She has some of the most charisma out of any other RuGirl

DU2 is very slept on

CDR2 drags on a bit since there’s pretty much no drama. The queens seemed like they were avoiding causing any drama (except Eve)

Lady Boom Boom should have stayed over Kimmy

And I don’t really have any for other international seasons, but I’ll give some random non-Drag Race ones!

No matter if you’re living on your own or not, you aren’t an actual adult until at least age 22 (emotionally and socially)

Grown adults that refuse to eat fruits and vegetables are immature (besides special exceptions like autism, afrid, allergies, etc)

Colleges shouldn’t pressure undergrad students to go to grad school

People that refer to their pets as their actual children (like a son or daughter) are weird

English food isn’t bad, it’s just bland most of the time (I’ve go to the UK every few years to see family, for those that didn’t know)

And the last, pineapple is amazing on pizza

I know some of these aren’t that big of hot takes, but I just wanted to share my opinions:)

[feuqueerfire]

March 2023 BL/GL Wrap-Up

A little monthly (spoilery!) wrap-up of all the shows I’ve watched or am watching in March 2023, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month:

So Long, See You Tomorrow is only available in film festivals I think? So I had to watch it on a bootleg site but it's worth it, especially for people who like this sort of movie where young men are friends and also possibly boyfriends but are separated for reasons and then the story takes place a decade or two later a la His (2020), Your Name Engraved Herein, Life: Love On The Line, etc. This one has a fun parallel universes thing to it though but it's still got the slow, slice-of-life vibe to it rather than any hard sci-fi

Ranking

Moonlight Chicken = Derry Girls S1

Happiness = Derry Girls S2 = Derry Girls S3 = A Shoulder To Cry On = So Long, See You Tomorrow

Island Part 1

Island Part 2

The New Employee - Dropped

Average Rating: 6.4/10

MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist:

A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them.

Island Part 1

Island Part 2

Koi Desu: Yankee-kun to Hakujou Garu: Certified Noonas recommended it and I thought it was funny that she's a blind so she's like what he's a nice guy when everybody warns her against him

Circle: The Certified Noona Natalia's favourite show and apparently it's a good sci-fi. Also a Yeo Jin-goo show

The Crowned Clown: another Yeo Jin-goo show and I've heard good things

Kingdom (2019): I liked Happiness enough and am curious about a historical zombie drama

A Shoulder to Cry On

So Long, See You Tomorrow (2021): saw a clip last month from this tweet (twitter.com/beansxooo/status/1630016040473178119) and got around to finally adding it to MDL

Our Dating Sim

Tomorrow (2022): The Certified Noona recommendation I think. Grim reapers :>

To Watch List At Start Of Month: 56

To Watch List At End Of Month: 56 (heh, it stayed the same)

Removed from To Watch List:

Self (2022) - unlikely I'll ever watch it

Our Beloved Summer (2022) - I do like exes-to-lovers which is why I originally added it but I think I'd get really frustrated with them breaking up multiple times over 16 eps (as somebody said). I saw a tiktok of them in high school years teasing each other and that was really cute though

Once Again (2022) - unlikely I'll ever watch it

Watching On-Air

Nothing

Completely Watched

Moonlight Chicken

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Feb 8, 2023 - Mar 2, 2023

Watch Via: GMMTV Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: Mar 1 - 6, 2023

Rating: 7/10

Overall Impression: It's a good one! High quality with good acting and interesting storylines that are unique in BL. It didn't hit me as hard as it seemed to hit some other people though and I'm not thinking about it much at all since finishing. I think Jim/Wen's relationship was one of the weakest aspects of the show to me because I didn't care nor did I really feel anything. I loved Heart and Li Ming, I enjoyed getting to see Jim grow and also how his relationship with Li Ming changed, I liked getting to see Wen and Alan's flashbacks and to present tense relationship, I like Gaipa showing up once in a while to be bright, I thought Gaipa and Leng's interactions were funny, I loved Li Ming as a character so much, I wished to be him so badly.

tags: moonlight chicken

Also Appears In: Moonlight Chicken Live Blogging

Island Part 1

Country: South Korean

Release Dates: Dec 30, 2022 - Jan 13, 2023

Watch Via: Amazon Prime :>

Watch Dates: Mar 14 - 15, 2023

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: The main female lead was whatever, wish she was just good at something. Whether it be fighting demons, fighting back via kindness and empathy, or actual power due to her status/wealth/connections. She's not the worst ever because she can still stand up for herself and she has personality but I mourn that they've written her like this. Van is just fucking boring and I don't care. My beloved Johan <3333 I liked his charming, cocky, beautiful character who was so intrigued by everything going on as if he really was 20 and curious about everything but also I liked his apprehension when it came down to it. The storyline with his brother was so T.T Also curious to see the evil brother half-demon Guntan and his sidekick niece Yeom-ji. They're both pretty cool compared to our 2 main characters. I wish the show flowed better in terms of the sequence of scenes and pacing and the main characters were more intriguing.

tags: island

Also Appears In: Island Part 1 Live Blogging

Island Part 2

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 30, 2022 - Jan 13, 2023

Watch Via: Amazon Prime :>

Watch Dates: Mar 16 - 17, 2023

Rating: 5.5/10

Overall Impression: Literally how was it worse than part 1? Especially when we focused more on Guntan and Yeom-ji than fuckass Miho and Van? Maybe because of less focus on Johan (I wanna know his backstoryyyyyy) and also just incomprehensible writing/plot direction. Yeomji and Johan my beloveds + Guntan being cool were the highlights. Hated the dumbass cliffhanger ending. such a forgettable show.

tags: island (Search s2)

Also Appears In: Island Part 2 Live Blogging

Happiness 

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Nov 5, 2021 - Dec 11, 2021

Watch Via: Viki (free)

Watch Dates: Mar 18 - 23, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: Good but not great. I liked the first quarter and last quarter most because there was more action whereas the middle half was slower and was more people-based. There were different characters who had distinct personalities/circumstances and I like the fucked-in-the-head neighbours trope but most of the side characters were pretty one-dimensional. I wish we got to see some actual proper satisfying murder. The romance was barely there but it was still cute. I liked how comfortable they were with each other and I liked the platonic/non-romantic moments as well.

tags: happiness

Also Appears In: Happiness Live Blogging

Derry Girls S1

Country: UK

Release Dates: Jan 4, 2018 - Feb 8, 2018

Watch Via: :>

Watch Dates: Mar 24, 2023

Rating: 7/10

Overall Impression: This was pretty fun overall since I haven't watched much Irish television nor do I know many Irish people, so it was fun to get to peek into the culture and vibe of the 1990s Ireland through this. Also, the girls are all so different and also terrible in many ways; I do love it when characters are people I'd hate it real life and I don't think I'd be able to stand any of these people (maybe Clare, maybe James), so it's fun to see them go around wreaking havoc.

tags: derry girls

Also Appears In: Derry Girls Live Blogging

Derry Girls S2

Country: UK

Release Dates: Mar 5, 2019 - Arp 9, 2019

Watch Via: :>

Watch Dates: Mar 25, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: Still very fun, though there were some that weren't as good/funny in the middle. Liked the little emotional moment with James at the end. Love Orla being a girl who's a boy and James being a boy who's a girl (and this time he agrees to being a Derry Girl rather than them slagging him for being a girl/gay).

tags: derry girls

Also Appears In: Derry Girls Live Blogging

Derry Girls S3

Country: UK

Release Dates: Apr 12, 2023 - May 18, 2023

Watch Via: :>

Watch Dates: Mar 26, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: I don't know how to feel about the ending - it was touching but certainly a different tone than the other episodes, but it still had enough of the same vibes. It was good season but I'm not yearning for more.

tags: derry girls

Also Appears In: Derry Girls Live Blogging

The New Employee - DROPPED

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 21, 2022 - Feb 1, 2023

Watch Via: Viki (free)

Watch Dates: Mar 27 - 28, 2023

Rating: --/10

Overall Impression: It's sad that I've watched worse kBLs but since I had some expectations while going into this, it's more disappointing. I don’t really care for boss/employee romances in general and i think the fact that it’s positioned as wholesome/cute here so far isn’t working for me. if you’re gonna have the boss kiss the intern out of the blue while said intern is drunk, it needs to be framed in more of a rancid way for it to still be fun; dabble more with the weird power dynamics and lean into the bad vibes lol

tags: the new employee

Also Appears In: The New Employee Live Blogging

A Shoulder to Cry On

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 15, 2023 - Mar 29, 2023

Watch Via: Viki (free)

Watch Dates: Mar 28 - 29, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: I really liked the first 5 episodes when there was so much contempt but Taehyun couldn't stop himself from terrorizing or goading Da Yeol and Da Yeol couldn't stop noticing how beautiful Taehyun was, and then the friendship that bloomed in that but still with an edge. I didn't quite get the reason for separation in episode 6 and think the last episode was cutesy but out-of-character sort of. Still, overall a pretty good one; reminds me of a mix of Blueming and Utsukushii Kare. I was giddy so many times while watching this, especially the first half and was clutching my head and curling my toes despite it not being romantic, just full of tension.

tags: a shoulder to cry on

Also Appears In: A Shoulder To Cry On Live Blogging

So Long, See You Tomorrow

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Nov 4, 2021

Watch Via: :> (it's only shown in film festivals or something)

Watch Dates: Mar 31, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: No matter what I think about the story/character/acting in these types of movies like this, along with His (2020), Life: Love On The Line, Your Name Engraved Herein, they make me feel a certain way. Even if I don't cry, some parts make have slightly glassy eyes and my chest constricts with the emotions. These feel human in a specific way and I can't take it always, but these drawn-out, slice-of-life movies where young men are separated and then reunite to be friends/lovers decades later is so good. Also I thought it was funny that I kept waiting for the parallel universes to come into it without realizing when we'd slipped into a different universe lol Also, this whole movie we got to see how Kang Hyun affected Dongjoon but Dongjoon affected Kang Hyun enough for him to write about parallel universes in his novel

Also Appears In: So Long, See You Tomorrow Live Blogging

[firespirited]

Weird day today. Had a very nice but subtly unnerving surprise meeting with an old friend of the family. She brought up dad which was expected but the religious language and contextualising everything was tough: "you and us are doing ok because we're children of gd" "gd brings us together" "gd protect us from evil" type stuff along with usual gd willing, thank gd, gd is good language.

I handle references to faith just fine culturally in Arabic, it's a little less culturally comfortable in French (or even English) but it's also not something I can reply to except with a polite nod that doesn't say yes but "I hear you".

It brought up a lot of complex emotions about half a dozen things as these things do when you've been rejected or hurt by people with gd as a reason. Also a painful reminder that I need to establish religious boundaries again with family again because I do take words seriously and don't want to be praying or agreeing to prayer because its uncomfortable to say that I'd rather not - after all it is as a matter of respect, if gd is real I refuse to treat communication with Them as trivial.

It was lovely to see she and her family are well. She speaks very fast so I wasn't able to say that I'm very happy for her lesbian daughter even as I could see her skirt around it like she thinks I might be biased against it (Honey no! Even as a tween when I was still christian, I thought any couple willing to commit for life and actually take those 'all circumstances' vows was to be celebrated. Of the dozens of red flags to not approve a marriage, being gay seemed totally illogical to me. Besides the passages about mlm and wlw were clearly in context about getting it on outside of marriage for social or ceremonial reasons and saying it's not real sex because it's not P in V and like A) we'd covered ancien greeks getting freaky in school and B) this was the Monica Lewinski era: everyone in the western world debated whether only P in V/hetero constitutes cheating. As a kid I didn't see it but after Lewinski? Those passages are clearly about what counts as cheating).

And I'll be totally honest, I was so relieved: the first two daughters married macho abusive dirtbags and are now married to new nicer if not exactly groundbreakingly feminist blokes but M's got her stable girlfriend turned wife, and while wlw relationships aren't without heartbreak and high drama, she has a lot better odds of an equal relationship.

I came home and crashed, napped for a while, then had to go do something... anything... because I wasn't in a great headspace so bad news from a friend via sis sent me and her spiralling about medical malpractice/neglect, I went for a second walk - it helped a little. I damaged a doll I was fixing up because I was tired,

Watched Wakanda Forever: excellent potential, same vast talent but obviously made in a rush (bits are clearly missing or chopped to be used in a different way), the underwater world was a blurry dark mess (and that would have been so cool if we could see it!) and I couldn't bear to see them fighting (over what seemed so trivial compared to the real threats), finally we get to see Shuri process 1 thing in between... she's got a whole lot more but hey she's got 1 down. I mean you don't get character study films in the MCU, you get a 3 minutes for Gamora or Rocket to address their lifelong traumas so not bad at all for a Marvel. I just can't with a blockbuster attempting to handle grief while still making a hero action movie, it expects you to imagine a lot of offscreen growth and processing. I don't like seeing characters with potential done dirty like that. I'd rather read whatever tie-in books expand the universe because they *had* to put 45 minutes of fight and explosion scenes.

The costumes were incredible as always but yeah not in the mood to see Wakanda attacked while the CIA rub their hands in glee.

Then there's an unfortunate subtext of a skeptic finding faith after doing all the rituals right which was just the wrong day for me to take it charitably. I'm happy for her. Really. I'm also jealous.

Science tells us little gay boys grieve when they realise, even on a subconcious level, that they're not getting the happy ending of the wife and two kids, it leaves a void and they have to reshape themselves as adults to fill that wife shaped hole society told them would be filled.

I hope that changes now that gay marriage is normalised and seen more. I hope more and more folks can find completeness without needing one special person to complete them.

Now when you're a religious kid, you're given an extra void to shape yourself around, one that will be filled by the divine. It will give you confidence purpose and love, and reshaping yourself is difficult because this isn't just the missing piece of your soulmate but your entire existence and reason for being. Being single from the spiritual is felt like a permanent failure at being human.

Among many things today, I was reminded today of what it felt like to be looked at as 'soulless', a 'lost' soul at best and how that's legit how I saw myself and on some level still sort of do.

I'll rewatch Wakanda forever on a better day and skip the fights. Hopefully by then someone has fixed the colour and brightness on the underwater scenes.

[davyjoneslockr]

okay i need to know. what would your take on modern au/high school fugio be. OBVIOUSLY naramis too

Yes yes okay so. If you don’t mind me derailing this slightly, I do have a modern college AU that’s been living in my brain for years but I haven’t written anything for. I have little storylines for like all the JJBA characters but obviously Fugio and Naramis are there.

So all the Joestars are like. Extended family. Cousins mostly and some of them are siblings. They’re also distantly related to Giorno, and nobody knows how, but Jolyne and Josuke think he’s cool so they figure he must be alright, even if he’s also a Brando somehow. The Joestar and Brando family trees are very complicated.

Giorno goes to college to study like. Biology. Probably with minors in entomology and zoology. And besides his distant relatives (who he’s not that close to yet), he doesn’t know anyone because he doesn’t exactly have any friends. Then, at orientation, he meets Bucciarati, who’s his RA. He says he knows Giorno’s roommate, Mista, an upperclassman he was randomly placed with, and once the school year starts, he meets him and the rest of the World’s Worst Friend Group.

Fugo is a sophomore who skipped a grade back in K-12 and went to college a year early, so he’s in the same year as Narancia and Mista. He’s also an honors student, pre-law, math minor, and absolutely at his fucking limit. He was originally going to go to this super prestigious university, but when he was there for orientation/some research he’d already started, backstory stuff happens. Only difference is that his grandma is still alive, and she takes him in after his family disowns him. His admission is rescinded from that school, so he goes to The School All The Main Characters Are At instead. Narancia’s his roommate and is pulling the Best Strat Ever by majoring in aerodynamics/aerospace engineering while being dogshit at math (but not really – he’s actually quite good at it, but finds traditional teaching methods/curriculum hard to follow, so Fugo has to help translate certain things into Narancia Language). I haven’t really decided on Mista’s major lol, but he and Giorno quickly become besties and get along well as roommates – except for the fact that like. There’s an almost definite line between Giorno’s side of the room, which is pristine and orderly, and Mista’s, which is a disaster and could definitely use some air freshener.

Naramis Fugio timeline is like: Torture Trio’s freshman year, before Giorno (and Trish) join the group, Fugonara happens. They break up and quickly learn why people say not to date your roommate. Drama ensues. Mista’s sort of stuck in between it. Being vague bc I might write a fic about this someday. They reconcile eventually and all is well.

Mista and Narancia have always been close, but towards the end of freshman year and into that summer, they start getting really close. Like, having a whole encyclopedia of inside jokes and cuddling during movie nights close. But they’re not dating, and they’re very insistent about the “no homo” thing. This is a charade. They have massive crushes on each other.

Giorno develops a crush on Fugo pretty quickly. Only Mista knows about it. He thinks it’s hilarious. The gang goes out to parties a lot, so I’m thinking of some Man in the Mirror fight parallel that’s like. Stereotypical Rowdy College Party Gets Broken Up By The Cops thing, and Giorno and Fugo get into some wacky hijinks to escape without getting caught, and once they’re safe and the adrenaline dies down and they’re just laughing over how ridiculous it was, Fugo has a moment where he’s like. Holy shit. He’s cool. Oh shit I think I like him.

Naramis gets together partway through first semester. Nobody is surprised. Fugo keeps getting kicked out of his room so Narancia and Mista can make out and/or watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl for the 100th time without listening to him complain. He always ends up hanging out with Giorno, whether that’s in the library, the local coffee shop, the campus flower gardens, or his room. Silly dramatic slowburn romance ensues. Stupid college shenanigans with the gang also ensue. Really this AU is just a set of scenes in my head that are all just dumb hijinks and stuff. Maybe when I’m done with the Mista fic, I’ll put it on my to-do list and write a oneshot or two.

[shinjaeha]

bad buddy ep 5 (thoughts)

i was just gonna keep all my feelings inside of me (like pran) but i caved bc i’ve been rewatching ep 5 for DAYS and i know everyone and their mother has already talked about it and analysed it to pieces so this is just me being self-indulgent bc i just want to ramble (write?) about the things that i loved so much about this ep for my own wellbeing...and bc i can’t stop thinking about this show ;;; i prob should have done this earlier considering we’re like less than 24 hours away from ep 6 but oh well.

i’ve seen some people question how pran seemed totally fine in the morning after ep 4, but it makes total sense to me. i don’t think there was ever really a moment where pran thought pat could like him back in the same way...maybe there was some inkling of hope, but i don’t think he ever really believed it. in their high school flashback, pran mentions that pat’s always ended up with whoever he likes, so we know that pran’s seen pat with other love interests in high school (and we know how pran’s had feelings for pat since high school too). so pat liking ink, although heartbreaking for pran, isn’t really that much a of a surprise for him? he prob feels like it’s inevitable. he’s been dealing with these feelings for YEARS at this point, so it’s become easy enough to just bury what he feels and pretend like everything’s normal. he’s done it all this time already so it’s nothing new. he resigned himself to pat never liking him back a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean that pat still can’t get to him bc in the breakfast scene you can literally see this poor boy struggle so hard to be mad at pat and fail bc he’s just too soft for him. even when he’s being annoying, pat’s too cute. pran builds up all these defences, but pat always has this way of slipping through the cracks in his walls bc he’s in love with him and he just can’t help it no matter how hard he tries (or pretends) to be annoyed/mad at pat.

pran’s sketchbook full of drawings relating to pat is ADORABLE.

pat and paa’s relationship is the cutest!! they really feel like siblings, and i love all their scenes together.

i know the paa’s love guru checklist isn’t anything new for a romance drama, but i absolutely love the way they executed it in this. from the embarrassment of pat getting absolutely NO response that ink likes him in any way whatsoever (like, she very clearly showed much more interest in paa...so inkpaa when??), to meeting pran at the music shop and then it registering for him that he can tick off every single thing paa’s told him when it comes to pran (you see the way he almost involuntarily started smiling when he was watching pran with that guitar????? he’s got it bad). they killed two birds with one stone with this trope. we now know ink is not interested in him at all, but HE’s starting to realise that his feelings for pran aren’t just platonic. it was very heart fluttery rom com type stuff and i loved it.

also, pat might be confused, but it’s telling that he immediately ditched ink and paa to go pick up his drumsticks on their ‘date’. you think he would have ditched pran like that?? there’s no way whatsoever 😂 not when all pat ever does is think up ways he can spend more time with pran.

it’s actually so cute to me how, once pat’s realised that he might actually have feelings for pran, he constantly tries to confirm whether it’s really true or not. he might be kind of dense when it comes to his love life, but he’s not afraid to feel what he feels. he’s not afraid to explore (or better understand) his feelings as soon as realises he might have them. he’s just such a straightforward, sincere character.

compare what pat said in ep 1 about how pran’s mum would blame him for pran getting into a fight with how pran talks about how much his mum loves wai though :((( he knows he’ll never win against wai when it comes to pran’s parents but pat just wants to feel special to pran in some way. which is why he asks whether wai’s slept over before...and he can’t even have that. it’s also why the song they wrote together is such a big deal to him later on.

god, i adore their high school flashback scenes SO MUCH. there’s such a sense of innocence there...they’re just these two kids that want to be around each other, that want to be FRIENDS, but they can’t bc of their families. like this will obviously take on a whole new meaning later on, but for now it’s just sad bc it’s such a pure, simple wish for the both of them that that can’t have. yet, they’re still drawn to each other. and it’s cute how it’s always music that’s bringing them together. back then when they were in the school band, and again in the present to compete in the freshy day concert (and when pat gave pran back his guitar). it’s music, specifically their song, that ties them together.

i’m also in love with the way that we keep getting these little glimpses of the past with the flashbacks. like each new ep, we get another puzzle piece to put into place as we slowly piece together what happened back then. why pran ended up having to transfer (bc i think we all know that it’s more than just pat and pran being in the same band together), and just how close they really were.

i also love how perceptive paa is when it comes to her brother. it’s so sweet.

the concert performance where pran plays their song and pat starts realising that all his past memories hold a much deeper meaning to him than he originally thought is just a+++ i love the way he starts out remembering all these happy, fond memories (them writing the song together, them playing together in their music room), but as SOON as pran turns to wai and they start smiling and playing their instruments at each other, he remembers that pran used to look at HIM that way (the flashback where you see pran looking down at pat and smiling at him from pat’s pov where he’s playing the drums DEVASTATED me), and his memories take a darker turn (pran’s parents arriving and pran leaving the stage so they can’t even finish their song together, the last time they saw each other before pran got transferred). of course it’s jealousy, but it runs so much deeper than that.

ink is the BEST. the female characters on this show are absolutely wonderful. from the teaser, i had always assumed that pat would ‘confess’ to her earlier in the ep, but i kind of love that he did it here bc it shows that he didn’t just move on/rebound with pran after being rejected. he’s been harbouring these feelings for pran for so long without realising, but now it’s all hitting him like a ton of bricks and he’s just so confused. esp when all this time he thought it was INK that he had feelings for (and maybe he even kind of did in high school, but that’s clearly not the case anymore). i love that ink just gets it. understands poor pat is going through it rn, needs to offload, and it’s not really her that he’s actually into. i also really love that pat apologises to her after she rejects him since he really could have played with her feelings too had she liked him back in that way. their friendship is just so wholesome :’)

one of my fave things about this ep is how it escalates. it starts of cute and light (esp after the angst of the ep 4 ending), but then gets progressively more angsty and tension heavy as pat slowly realises and comes to terms with his feelings. the last 16 mins of this ep are a work of ART. everything that’s happened in this ep was all for this confrontation and it gives me goosebumps just thinking about how amazingly executed everything is.

so let’s talk about the fight scene!! what gets me about this is that pat wasn’t even waiting for pran to fight him. he wouldn’t have bought the condensed milk for pran if he was there to fight. he literally just wanted to be with him. after losing the contest to the architecture faculty (to the song THEY wrote together), seeing pran and wai performing to completion all happy, having to back down from the previous fight at wai’s bar, getting drunk, and the steady realisation that he actually has feelings for pran...ALL HE WANTS is to spend time with pran. he’s even trying to sober himself up while he waits.

but then he checks his phone and sees the ig story and it’s another reminder of everything that he can’t have with pran. he can’t hang out with him like that in public like wai can, let alone post about it on ig for everyone to see. and i think this is where it really starts to hit pat just how unfair all of this really is. he’s bitterly jealous of wai, but that jealousy isn’t just bc he’s possessive, or thinks that pran is his in any way. it’s bc wai gets to have all these simple moments with pran. gets to go over to his house, have pran’s mum love him, sing their song together, hang out with him in public, post about their relationship on ig, etc.

so when he sees wai driving pran back home, it’s like the last straw for him. in his eyes, wai is encroaching on pat/pran’s territory (the dorms). the one place where pat and pran can be themselves without worrying about anybody else. where they don’t have to pretend that they hate each other. these feelings have been festering inside of him, and though it’s taken him much longer to realise his feelings than pran, pat can’t sit on them or hide them away the way that pran can. he’s ready to explode. so the only trigger he needs is pran putting up the act again in front of wai, pretending like there’s nothing between them. it’s the one thing that pat’s most insecure about. pat’s such a confident person in everything else that it must be kind of unsettling for him to feel inferior like this bc they have to keep their relationship a secret. he didn’t come to fight but bc wai’s there, pran expects them to play their roles, but pat’s no longer following the script. he’s so far gone, so angry and jealous, that he can’t hold it inside anymore.

the tension in this scene is fantastic. the first time i watched it, i was SO worried that pat was gonna do something stupid bc he seemed crazed (ohm is soooooo good in this scene wow), but i’m glad that it didn’t turn out the way i was thinking. despite how mad he is, pat’s generally on the defensive with pran. he literally put his hands up in front of him when pran grabs shirt (he really doesn’t want to fight/hurt pran), and he only punches wai when wai punches him first.

then when it’s all said and done, the tension melts away, and the reality of what happens hits in and it hurts. it hurts bc pat has never truly wanted to fight pran/make pran angry. when he takes out the condensed milk, it’s like another reminder of why he even waited for pran in the first place. the thing is, pat is constantly doing these nice gestures for pran all bc he just wants to see him (and care for him), but he always needs an excuse. he can’t just go over to pran’s place bc he WANTS to like any of pran’s other friends. it always has to be under the guise of something else (eg. bruise cream, makeup remover, earphones, medicine, lost keys, condensed milk, etc.). and the realisation of that, esp knowing now that he has romantic feelings for pran, stings.

it’s also why the song is as important to him as it is. it’s the one piece of the two of them that he could say was theirs. the one thing that they created together, all by themselves, untouched by their family rivalry. but pran sang it (uninterrupted this time) with wai. replaced him with wai, who already gets all the perks of being in pran’s life that pat can never have bc of every external force pulling them apart.

i love that he really tries to sober himself up after this. that he has the presence of mind to take a shower to clear his head and heart (and prob to smell nice for pran too 😭), and to figure out what to say to pran after what happened. pat thinks and acts with his heart, but he also knows when he needs to calm down and reevaluate himself. he doesn’t want this to end in a fight.

what can i even say about the infamous rooftop scene at this point that hasn’t already been said a millions times over?? i have watched this scene so many times that it’s a wonder it hasn’t been tattooed into the folds of my brain yet. it’s just so BEAUTIFUL.

when he brings up the song, we know it’s important and he means it, but when he says “i hate to see you play it with someone else”, he’s clearly talking about more than just the song. it’s a coded way of saying that he doesn’t like seeing pran with other people in the way that he can’t be with pran. but it’s like he’s still not daring to say what he really means out loud and pran knows it. pran sees it as another one of the jokes/misdirects that he’s so used to from pat, and he calls him out on it with the “pat, you’ve got to stop doing this to me, we’re not a thing, we’re not even friends” line.

not to mention, he thinks that pat’s still courting ink at this point. pat’s been so strange this whole ep, it must have been so confusing for pran since he had no idea about any of the inner turmoil pat’s been going through the past few days.

when pat starts with the “when you’re away, i was so damn happy” you can see the heartbreak in pran and it’s so painful. how he looks away when pat starts listing the reasons he was happy pran wasn’t there...but then he hits him with the “it was so depressingly lonely” and you see the look in pran’s eyes change as he looks back at pat, like he’s only now realising it wasn’t just him that was hurting this whole time (nanon is PHENOMENAL). honestly, this line holds so much more meaning when you rewatch ep 1 again and see the expressions on their faces when they see each other again for the first time in years. i love when shows do this. when they introduce something later down the line that gives a significance to an interaction that didn’t hold as much meaning initially, or that you brushed past previously. i also love that the way he goes from “i was so damn happy” to “i was depressingly lonely” is the opposite of pat’s usual jokes/misdirects. instead of taking the hope away from pran at the end, he gives it back to him this time.

i think it’s safe to say that he’s always been in love/had feelings for pran, but never really given himself the chance to think about those feelings deeply until he started seeing all his past interactions with pran under a different lens. but they’ve likely always been there, which is why it hits him so hard JUST how much pran means to him, and just how lonely and devoid of pran he’s been over the years they weren’t together.

ALSO, if you think about it, it’s really their parents fault that they became so obsessed with each other in the first place?? imagine constantly having to compete and keep up to date with the boy next door. you’d have to know just about everything about him. they were essentially brainwashed by their parents to hate each other, but bc they’re decent human beings who grew up and realised that there was no substance behind that hatred (esp after pran saved paa), they started to get to know each other better. they just got caught in the crossfire of their parents’ war with one another. it breaks my heart that their parents have given them so much trauma that they’re so afraid (esp pran) that someone will find out about their relationship.

when i watched this the first time, i thought pran was the first to cry...but on closer inspection it was actually pat and that makes me feel some kind of way :(

“why, do you want us to be friends?” “no”. i will NEVER be over this. ever ever ever.

the hesitancy before the kiss ties back to their whole conversation in that high school flashback about the nervousness and insecurity of not knowing whether it’ll turn out good or bad and it adds so much more depth to this already stunning scene. the hesitation shows that they KNOW what this means. they’re crossing this invisible line that they’ve been toeing all this time, and they can’t take it back once it’s done. pat can’t joke/flirt like it doesn’t mean anything after this. pran might try to hide his feelings away, but he can’t deny that he ever gave in (pat won’t ever let him). once it’s done, it’s done. but nothing can stop the full force of their feelings at this point, even if they know it’s impossible. pran can’t push this feeling down anymore bc it’s too overwhelming. he’s wanted this for so long. like in ep 4 where he lets himself have this one moment of vulnerability (to cry), he pulls pat back into the kiss...just this one moment where he can give in to his feelings properly before everything comes crashing down to earth. but pran kissing pat back immediately also shows pat just how much pran wants it too even if he won’t say it out loud.

i love that their kiss suits their dynamic perfectly. it’s always this give and take between them. pat acts first (as he always does)...and his intention is slightly different bc he’s testing the waters, confirming that his feelings for pran are really what he thinks they are. pran already knows how he feels so he takes action bc he’s never been a passive participant in their relationship either. it’s genuinely one of the reasons that i love the both of them so much. everything is on an equal footing with them. it’s my fave kind of relationship dynamic.

the rock score they used for this scene is also so perfect bc the drums and guitar playing represents the both of them coming together, and it echoes back to how music is always the thing that brings them back together again in some way.

notice how after pat kisses pran (before pran pulls him back again), his eyes are still closed, but pran opens his first. it’s like it symbolises that he’s the one that’s more aware of the reality of their situation. 

they’re just at such different stages at this point. pat has JUST woken up to his feelings, so the kiss is everything clicking into place for him. him realising that THIS is how it’s supposed to feel...and that his feelings are reciprocated!! pran, on the other hand, has known how he’s felt about pat for so long now that he’s had all the time in the world to think about the consequences of what would happen if they were hypothetically in a relationship (since i don’t think he ever truly believed they would ever be in one until this moment). esp since pran was the one that was hurt the most from those consequences when he was transferred in high school.

it’s the heartbreak of pran finally having what his heart wants, but knowing realistically that it’s not enough. he’d likely made peace with pat never feeling anything back for him years ago only for this to happen. but it’s so much worse when you’ve gotten a taste of something that you can’t have bc now you know what it’s like. to someone like pran, who cares so much about the people around him (always trying to please his family and friends), unrequited love is better than reciprocated love. if it’s unrequited, he’s the only one that’s suffering. but if the both of them have feelings for each other, if they’re both in love, then the future is only going to bring them both misery. pran’s been though this once before, and he can’t go through it again. he esp doesn’t want PAT to have to go through it too. so he walks away, pushing the feelings down again bc he can’t let anyone else find out.

pat and pran are the perfect example of an ‘opposites attract’ relationship done well. pran is a perpetual worrier. he’s constantly thinking about the future. constantly assessing the pros and cons of a situation. which is also why it’s not exactly surprising that he realised his feelings for pat so early on. he’s the type of person that thinks about all types of possibilities and outcomes (i’m sure he catastrophizes a lot too) in any given situation. and he’s introspective. but he hides that all inside himself. pat, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. he goes with the flow. lives in the moment. is extremely easygoing. he only thinks about problems when they happen, and doesn’t dwell in ‘what ifs’. i think a great example of their different mindsets is in ep 3 when they find out that their sponsorship will only cover half of the budget for the bus stop. pran’s immediately worried about how they’re gonna get the rest of the funding, whilst pat cracks jokes and is all “don’t worry, you’ll figure something out soon” to him. it’s why their expressions in the kiss scene esp make so much sense. pat, living in the present, sees the potential of the two of them. pran, living in the future, sees the end of them bc of all the external factors he knows will keep them apart.

anyway, my chest is still aching about it now and it’s almost been a whole week since this ep. but the first time i watched it, i absolutely bawled my eyes out like a BABY as soon as the ep was over. no kiss scene has ever gotten to me like that but this was so exquisitely crafted...and the build up was so exceptional, it was always gonna make me cry. and the ACTING...don’t even get me started on the acting bc i could rave about their performances for days ;;;

nanon’s so expressive. he breathes so much life into pran as a character. i love every little quirk of his, and i just love how he acts with such clarity. pran’s intentions and feelings are always so clear. it never feels like acting.

and ohm!! my fave thing about ohm is his line delivery. he has this way of making his voice softer with certain lines, or his voice waver, and it gives the lines he emphasises such impact (like ”come here” or “i was depressingly lonely” or “no”).

it still kind of blows my mind sometimes that we really got these two award winning actors, with insanely good chemistry to act in a bl helmed by p’aof. and the fact that it’s been so incredible so far?? we’ve been blessed.

i’m so excited for ep 6, although i know that we have more angst to come (but hopefully at least a bit more fluff in the next few eps or so with the bet coming into play)!! of course they’d make a bet like that. all they know is how to compete with one another, so it seems very much in character for the two of them to play this game (and fail lbr). it’s wild to me that so much has already happened and we’re still only 5 eps in...

[stopeatingwhales]

the 1995 brits x damon albarn & liam gallagher

hhhiiii I'm here with a very cute little fic about the brits!! the idea of writing something with Damon and liam fighting over someone was requested quite a long time ago (sorry it’s taken so long omg) but I loved the idea!! I do hope you all enjoy it as I enjoyed writing it a lot hahah xx

Pairing: 90s damon albarn & 90s liam gallagher x reader

Warnings: nothing, just a little bit of bickering n dat

Word count: 3.057

Requested by anon x

༉‧₊˚✧

Being a part of the madness that adapted the name ‘Britpop’ was truly an experience. Paparazzi at every corner you turn, equipped with the brightest, flashiest cameras, also having the most annoying click noises to the point that after one image you’ve earned yourself a migraine that would last the entirety of the day; parties that would last entire nights, bearing millions of different kinds of drugs - some that hadn’t even been given a name yet, but you’d still give a try anyways, since you’re so high and drunk that you simply lose the intellectual capability to construct decisions, you say fuck it, and get so high to the point that you’ve blacked out in a booth in a bar, with the owner asking you to get out since you’ve been inside for one too many hours after closing time; as well as constant press coverage. With your name plastered over literally every newspaper and music magazine known to man, as well as having your entire life consistently dictated for the entire nation to read about every Sunday morning and indulge themselves into as a form of entertainment, it was what being famous delivered, right on your doorstep at 7 in the morning. Any earlier and you’d feel rude not to give them a cup of tea as a form of dignity and respect towards their sublime dedication to the job. Although it was fun being associated with it all, my band in particular gaining a different form of calidity due to it being a female fronted band, by the time that the entire nation was hooked on this ‘Blur vs. Oasis’ rivalry, it was as if every other britpop band had been washed away from existence, due to eight boys arguing as to whom had the better music. And the better looks, according to Liam Gallagher.

Tonight was the night of the Brit awards, perhaps the most prestigious awards ceremony for music. To be awarded a Brit was probably the largest achievement possible in British music in the form of an award, and it was definitely either going tonight to either Blur or Oasis. The chances that another band, say Pulp, were to get the award, would not only be extremely amusing to see the reactions of the two biggest names in the Britpop game, but would also cause the largest uproar in the nation. It’s either Blur or Oasis. “Their drama is so silly,” laughed Emily, the guitarist in our band whilst flicking through the latest edition of the Sun, the cover of the newspaper being, of course, Liam Gallagher. “They’re literally bickering about who looks the best. How do people find this interesting?”

“Because of how silly it is, people never leave their secondary-school-like selves. Just a bit of fun I guess.” I replied, fixing up my hair in the mirror in front of me. We were currently getting ready to go to the award show, and needing to look your best was an expectation. Though I wasn’t dressed in anything that would result in jaw’s dropping, it was important that I at least appeared somewhat admirable - the entire nation always had their eyes on us, but tonight they were going to see us all, live. Perhaps the reason why bands like Oasis and Blur are so obsessed over nowadays, since all they’ll do is turn up in some flimsy Adidas t-shirt and call that fashion. I suppose scruffy was the new elegant.

“Who do you think they’ll give the award to?” she questioned, still aimlessly flicking through the recycled pages of the magazine. “I think Oasis. Their music is so much better than Blurs.”

“Really? I’d say Blur. They won on top of the pops, so the likelihood of them winning the Brit award is highly likely,” I answered, shuffling away from the strong reflection of myself towards Emily, my eyes quickly scanning the page that she had her eye on currently. “Gosh Liam’s so full of himself.”

“He’s got his eye on you, you know,” She said, shoving the paragraph she had just read in my face of Liam boasting about his little crush he had supposedly gained from watching our latest performance on top of the pops. “Thinks you’re ‘well fit’.”

Scoffing in response, I mumbled back to Emily. “If he thinks that he’s sleeping with me, he’s very deluded.”

By the time we had arrived at the venue, you weren’t able to walk into the entrance without at least 50 cameras blinding your eyes and the shouts of so many begging for you to quickly turn your head and grin - the price for the photo would reach the many thousands. Once walking in, it was less crowded, only having select people by the ground floor, dedicated for musicians and bands, with the occasional interviewer walking past to every circled table, adorned with white cloth and champagne glasses, asking questions about how they’re feeling, who they think may win, and what they thought of the music throughout the past year. What was nice was that people didn’t have that much interaction with one another, just with their groups. It created a sense of formality in the space, which made me feel a bit at ease from the idea of some random row happening in the middle of the floor, most likely between Liam and Damon. The past year in music was truly something. Britpop was at its peak the entirety of the year, with songs like Parklife and Supersonic pouring out of every radio station in Britain that by the end of the year, you had ditched casual radio music and began blasting the classical station. It was a nightmare. Since the fall of grunge subsequent to Cobain’s death the previous year, the talk of any other genre in Britain apart from Britpop didn’t occur. It was as if we were living on this mystical island, miles away from any other music and culture, whilst adorning and obsessing over our own. What was nice about Britpop was that it was a pure celebration of English culture, whether it be a simple Sunday roast, or going to school, they all carried the same ambience of nostalgia and pride - also disregarding whichever band wrote what song.

“Free champagne… Yes please,” said Madeline, the secondary guitarist of the band, whilst heading to the first seat she could sit on, then quickly indulging herself with the first taste of the rich drink. “Oh my gosh it’s heavenly!”

Laughing at her reaction, the rest of the band took a seat around the table and took their first sips of the champagne, which we would all come to find to be indeed heavenly. Small talk was shared here and there with the rest of the group, but overall I stayed silent. In all honesty I found attending award shows was quite boring because if you didn’t end up getting an award, you would essentially be sitting there for two hours doing nothing. Even if you did win an award, it’s simply a minute of glory with the speakers blasting your music, and another minute of all eyes piercing into your soul as you make sentences about your gratitude towards those who had helped you along the way to earn such an achievement. I doubt anybody genuinely liked attending shows like these.

“The champagne is good, yet we don’t get enough for our table,” I complained, grasping my now empty champagne glass and waving it around in the air. “I’m gonna head to the bar to get a refill, anybody want anything?”

After receiving a handful of nos from the rest of the band, I took myself out of my seat and wandered over to the bar, which was empty, perhaps due to the venue not yet being completely filled with all the artists that were set to attend the night. “Just a refill of the champagne, please.” I asked politely, handing the bartender the used glass I had kept in my hand. Whilst waiting, I noticed that Damon was on the other side of the bar, who also didn’t notice me there, until he caught eyes with me.

A grin broke out on his face as I walked over to him. “You alright?” He asked me, quickly thanking the bartender for his drink and turning back to look at me. The height difference between us was evident, but it wasn’t the case of something so dramatic that he was the height of the empire state building and me, just a measly common tower in the city. He looked quite content, his hair scruffy yet neat, along with his outfit being just as I had assumed: a white shirt with jeans, a used pair of Adidas for shoes.

I smiled back at him and nodded. “Suppose you have high hopes for the award tonight.” I said, simultaneously receiving my refill of the beverage I had ordered, followed by my thanks. We stood adjacent, although there was enough distance between us to establish our relationship - mutual acquaintances whom had met every now and again, since they’ve both been dragged into this wormhole of madness. He was quite the opposite in comparison to his rivals, though he himself could be quite bothersome occasionally, he still had a grasp to what those may call sensibility.

“Oh well we’re better than them, aren’t we love?'' He chirped, his head now cocked to the side in a teasing manner. “I’ve heard that you’re rooting for us this year.” He added, a little smirk pasted on his face.

“Do you read every paper you see?” I questioned, my face turning away from him in slight embarrassment. Between us, there was no shared intention for a relationship to stem, though there was definitely a flirtatious tension that followed between us wherever we had met. Whether it be a random photoshoot for a magazine double-spread, or backstage at top of the pops, we always managed to share a chat with one another, and nothing else followed on from then. It was quite sad, because once you’ve established a connection between something you either both disagree or agree with in terms of societal views, something in the press, or life in general, you’re instantaneously cut off and asked to hop onto stage to record a meaningless three-minute performance with fake, plastic instruments which practically mean nothing.

“Well it was nice seeing someone else's face on the papers for once.” He replied, downing his drink, then ushering at the bartender for another. A thing that we both realised was that, between our conversations, we indirectly indicated that we were both there for each other, because we both had a complete understanding towards what may be happening to the other person. It was stressful being in the limelight constantly, and for someone who was the frontman of a band so large, with his face plastered on every magazine cover imaginable, things were bound to be stressful.

Sighing, I turned to face him again. Despite the fact that before I had the ability to respond, our conversation was cut short from a voice shouting my name from behind. “Well if it isn’t bloody Y/N.” the voice said, and from then I instantly knew it was Liam’s. Turning my face away from Damon’s, I locked eyes with Liam. As always, he was dressed in the usual: a parka, with casual jeans. Oh, and don’t forget the Adidas shoes. Even though he and Damon practically hated each other’s guts, they always seemed to have similar fashion senses, but I could never picture Damon in a parka. And I don’t think I even want to.

“How’ve you been love?” He asked, swinging his arm around my shoulder in a warm, but nonchalant manner. Me and Liam had a similar relationship to that of mine and Damons, simply just minusing the sentimentality of it. We were friends, and had come across each other at random parties, which opened the gateway for us to drink and get high together many a time. While he was quite the idiot, he was also a very fun guy to be around, but I knew Damon would never understand that. “And why’re you letting this twat chat to you?”

A laugh escaped Damon’s throat. “I think you’re the only twat here, Liam,” he began, a sigh leaving my mouth as I was trapped in a situation that I could only pray didn’t gain much traction from the rest of the attendees. “Me and Y/N are friends, don’t suppose we’re getting jealous are we?”

Liam’s grip on my shoulder tightened as I stared at his reaction to Damon. I felt quite small in this situation, due to me needing to tilt my head a good amount to properly look at Liam, and knowing if I left it would just erupt chaos and make it worse. “No need for me to be jealous when I know that she wouldn’t want to spend a minute with you in bed you bastard.”

“And you’re so sure about that are you?” Damon replied, amusement laced in his words. “Because you’ve totally spent a minute with her haven’t you?”

“Well I’ve got my arm around her haven’t I? And she’s not stopping me,” Liam argued back, a smirk entwined on his lips. Reaching for my hand, Liam grasped it lightly, then then brought it to his lips, kissing it, before holding it gently. Method of intimidation, perhaps, and though it was sweet, there was a time and place. And this was definitely neither the time, or place. “Who’s the jealous one now, eh?”

“The last I recall, she had hoped that we were winning this year, not you,” He boasted, moving the contents of his drink around whilst grasping it firmly. Whilst it would be something that would offend Liam, he was simply the type of person to not take criticism regardless of whomever it was coming from. I respected him for that. “So much so for a healthy relationship.” Damon mocked, staring into my eyes as a small laugh escaped my lips.

Granted that I had found the argument shared between the pair of them to be extremely silly, it was good entertainment as the time passed before the award show would begin. Watching them both, attempting to throw insults at one another, each one trying to cut a little deeper than the one previous, made me almost laugh at the both of them right there. “You know, it’s so silly that you both think you know me so well to think which one I’d pick from the both of you,” I said, detaching myself from Liam’s embrace and snatching my half-empty glass of champagne. “At this point, it’s neither of you.”

Walking back to my band’s designated table, I quietly took my seat as the show began. “Saw you chatting to Damon,” Emily whispered, raising her eyebrows. “Also saw you grinning like a madwoman.”

“Oh shut up you,” I replied, looking back at the bar to notice that both parties had left, assuming back to their places. “There’s nothing going on between me and Damon- Liam too in fact.”

~~~

As the ceremony went on, the boredom got to us. Even the amount of drinks I had didn’t entertain me, but what could we do, we were stuck in the middle of an award show celebrating music, even though I had largely doubted that the majority of those attending were enjoying themselves. I had no clue who the awards were going to be handed out to, and whether that somebody may be us in a category, but we all knew Blur were going to win something. Yes, Oasis had gained a lot of fame and had become one of the most famous bands in the music scene at the minute, but by the way things had gone for Blur after the release of Parklife, things only seemed to go further up from there. And that was only proven to be truthful, after Blur had left with four different awards.

After Blur had received their fourth award for best British group, we all knew that there was nothing left for Oasis. “They’ll get it all next year, they only debuted this year you know.” I said to the table, who were staring at the four smiley boys on stage as they trotted up to receive their award. I admired Damon as he said his speech, then also turning to look over at Liam, who looked quite evidently pissed off. He was practically drooling in anger from the sight brought to him at that particular moment, and I couldn’t blame him - their band hadn't gone home with one award that night, but neither had ours. “They’ve taken four awards home, isn’t that like, the most anybody has ever taken?”

“Indeed it is,” Madeline replied, taking a sip from her drink. “Must be a good year for them then, eh?”

As I watched the band leave the stage in absolute glee, I stared at Damon as he walked back to his designated seat for the short remainder of the evening. Despite the fact that my band had been sat in our seats the entire evening in complete boredom, just like Oasis and so many other acts that had been nominated for pointless awards, it would be a lie to say that I wasn’t proud of how far Blur as a whole had come and evolved through their music, and especially Damon. From beginning as young, bowl-cut boys only charting so far on top of the pops, to creating songs and melodies that could unite our entire nation, it was impressive.

Damon was the face of Britain at this very moment, and a very good looking one. Once I watched him sit down, he scanned the room for a while until he was able to find where I was sitting, which was parallel to his seat, merely a couple metres away. He connected eyes with me as soon as he found me, also accompanied with a small smirk painted on his expression as he raised his eyebrows and sent me a wink. I simply smiled back at him in response before turning away abruptly, disrupting the little moment we seemingly shared, and though I felt my heart flutter a little, he’s definitely not winning me that easily.

[sadviper]

Drama Recommendation List

Things I Love:

Competence - #1 point of attractiveness

Hidden Identities - doppelgangers, multiple universes, superheroes, someone badass pretending otherwise, etc.

Protectiveness - bodyguards!!!!

Politics

Anything genre (action! thriller! mystery! romantic floof! saeguk! fantasy! sci fi! etc. The more mashups, the better.)

Goofy fun shenanigans

Found family, team-dynamics, bromance

Man tears

Happy endings - though not always required. I want justice in this life, not the next.

Noona romance (?)

Bad guys doing good things

Mean-looking dudes who are actually softies

Things I Hate:

Incompetence

Horrible unfairness or humiliation

When bad things happen to good people relentlessly

When the bad guys have an overbearing upper-hand and the good guys lose every step of the way

Toxic (modern) workplace dynamics - hits too close to home, yanno?

Physical slapstick, perverted innuendo, meanness

Infidelity

Rocks fall, everyone dies

All are kdrama unless marked otherwise. I did mix my absolute favorites with favs-with-flaws because sometimes it’s too hard to rank. To be edited whenever I feel like it.

Action Movies

The Man From Nowhere - Pure action schlocky comfort, it takes all the best tropes from the classic “The Professional”, from killer-in-hiding to helpless orphan girl, and remixes it with Won Bin’s lean muscular hotness and some of the most beautifully choreographed violence I have ever seen, treading that impossible-to-satisfy line between showmanship and effectiveness. Worth multiple rewatches, and rarest of rarenesses, I even recommend the English dub! There are a few corny-as-hell scenes that only get more embarrassing the deeper and slower Won Bin speaks. The English dubber barrels through and gets it over with. :P

Commitment - Before Woo Do Hwan, my first and favorite crush was T.O.P., whose acting abilities really shine for quiet, socially awkward roles like this one, where he plays a North Korean assassin infiltrating the south as a high school student to take out a rival North Korean faction of agents. The fighting is visceral, tight, and effective. The budding romance is sweet. His man pain is exquisite. The ending is...well, uselessly and predictably tragic, it Very Easily could’ve been a happy ending, but oh well. Also one of my favorites to rewatch.

Luck Key (action-comedy) - ahahaha Hitman gets amnesia in an accident and swaps identities with a failed actor. Cue shenanigans as the failed actor continues to fail as a hitman, and the hitman, in helpless confusion, somehow aces being a cook, an actor, and finally a lover.

Rurouni Kenshin:The Beginning - The Final (Japanese) -  Series of 5 movies, amazing adaptation of the manga/anime, if only all adaptions could be like this. Fantastic sets, costumes, performances, storytelling, and of course, the highly creative showdowns that strive to be as realistic as possible while still preserving the heightened excesses we expect from shonen manga. Even though The Final was released before The Beginning, I might suggest watching The Beginning first, Origins, Kyoto Inferno, The Legend Ends, and then The Final. Otherwise The Final will feel like a let-down because all character development occurred in the previous movies.

Rom-Com with Everything:

Are You Human Too? - robot love, incredibly subtle doppelganger acting from Seo Kang Joon, and delicious emotional turmoil as all the humans realize they prefer sweetheart, hyper-competant Nam-Shin III over asshole chaebol Nam-Shin, whether it’s for running a company to being a member of the family.

Healer - This is on the cusp of “too old” in terms of the warp-speed pace that kdrama production values progress, but it’s still solid in terms of storytelling heart. Ji Chang-wook’s turn as hapless and dorky Park Bong-soo will forever be imprinted on my psyche. As someone who adores superhero origin stories, Park Min-young falling in love with Healer while slowly discovering Park Bong-soo’s true identity was pure ambrosia.

Tale of Nokdu - First half is a hilarious reverse cross-dressing saeguk romcom where the guy is actually convincing as a female! Second half is pure throne-succession politics. The king, in particular, caught my attention with his charisma and inner turmoil as he goes from caring for Nokdu to having to kill Nokdu at all costs. The only weakness is the secondary villain, whose progression to villainy was literally a flipped switch.

Rookie Historian Goo Hae-Ryung - Saeguk females in the workplace, vaccination drives,  historians being SUPER hardcore about taking meeting minutes, birth secrets and succession politics! The fluff romance hides just how serious this show goes.

Genre + Slice of Life:

Reset (cdrama) - A short (for a cdrama) time loop drama. Not a bit of flab as the leads apply real logic and morality to try to stop a bus from exploding. Fantastic acting by the veteran actors anchored everything, but everyone is good for their roles. The pacing, storytelling and cinematography were so effective. A perfect mix of sci-fi thriller and slice of life as it covers the personal stories of everyone on the bus while gradually upping the stakes as the loops continue. There’s an understated and believable romance, Liu Yi Jun as the lead cop was so compelling, and there is a happy ending! Shows like these ruin my expectations for other shows, absolutely recommend!!

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble (Taiwan) - Another short drama (12 eps) that is simply incredible despite not having the aesthetics that current kdrama and cdrama boast. Gangster high schooler wakes up from a coma with supernatural powers, but that’s not the only thing that’s changed about his life. It’s a poignant and incredibly heartfelt treatise on coping with grief and loss, combined with paranormal case shenanigans, comedic friendships, team dynamics, enemy-turned-frenemy bromance, supportive and awesome parents, etc...ends happily and with a hook for season 2. It’s also an absolute tearjerker, but only because the main lead is so sympathetic that as soon as he teared up, I teared up. ;__; A must watch!!!

Missing: The Other Side S1, S2 - Supernatural team cold cases. Go Soo excels at being a happy, good-hearted bro, right up until the point that real dramatic emotion is called for. He has enough charisma to drag his younger co-stars down with him. XD That said, the storytelling is solid and enjoyable throughout, with great empathy, mysterious build up, and excellent characters in both seasons. I hope they make more!

Politics + Thriller + Adventure:

Joy of Life s1 &2 (cdrama) - transmigration story. A modern-day genius ends up being reborn in an old-day world, and when he grows up enough to get out of the house, he starts to realize that the world already has many, many plans laid out for him. Fan Xian is a bit of a know-it-all, and to be fair, he has a wealth of experience and knowledge most people in the show don’t have. As the story progresses, however, we do see him go from coasting to caring deeply, both from a human perspective and philosophically. Richly produced, cleverly written, fast-paced, and very well acted. Turns out Fan Xian isn’t the only smart dude on the block, and by the end, he is working very hard to manipulate events as he needs to. Ends on a cliff-hanger.

Nirvana in Fire 1 (cdrama) - An absolute dream come true for people who love politics and politicking. A hidden mastermind returns to the capital with revenge (justice) as his only reason to live, and he manipulates the ever-living-heck out of EVERYONE, friends and foes alike, to achieve it. The show is paced very steadily, opened with a melancholic theme song that forewarns the eventual ending. And yet somehow it wasn’t that devastating (for me), because all was accomplished gradually, carefully, so intelligently and with so many insightful and nuanced portrayals, that you don’t even end up hating any of the three antagonists. As for the good guys, wow, so many to admire. A masterpiece. @welcometothejianghu wrote a good rec here!

Nirvana in Fire 2 (cdrama) - This one obviously had an even bigger budget than NiF1, and even though I rarely see discussions about it, it also is a very ambitious and wonderfully made story of kingdom-building through the viewpoint of multiple generations of a family. In some ways, however, it’s sadder than NiF1, because unlike NiF1 where the protagonist is very much in control of almost every situation, NiF2 protagonists are forced to be reactive to plots that are being made against them and the kingdom. It also features an object lesson in how someone with all the potential to be heroic can slowly be corrupted into villainy. That said, NiF2 does feature an obvious happy ending, as well as a hopeful outlook that there will always be talented heroes who will step up in a time of need. Also a masterpiece, and also very slow and steady in pacing.

Designated Survivor: 60 Days - Ji Jin Hee!!!!! Son Sukku!!!!!! Heo Joon Ho!! That North Korean publicist guy!! Gosh, this remake is sooooo much better than the original American one. While I watched it, it restored my hopes and faith in modern politics, 1000% wish we had a quiet, nerdy, kind, ethical, and smart president like that even though I know in reality power corrupts, the system grinds up good people, etc. Tense and thrilling, whether it is terrorism or political power moves, and it’s so rewarding to see the out-of-his-depth scientist slowly come into his own strength to lead the country out of crisis, and for his support team to regain their hopes in making a difference for the better. Great review (with spoilers!) By @rain-hat

Money Game - A bureaucratic economic thriller!!!! I know no one will watch this, but pleeeassse, it is so sexy and intense, even with the weird English script + questionable foreigner acting! Still excellent even in rewatch, my heart pounded, and that is RARE for me, I almost never rewatch end-to-end. Lee Sung-min is a frozen-faced BEAST, Go Soo is a very likeable harried civil servant, Shim Eun-kyung was such a strong and dainty presence with her stubborn hardheadedness, and Teo Yoo was fascinatingly flexible at being mesmerizing, cringe, and adorkable.

My Heroic Husband (cdrama) - transmigration story with many of the side actors and probably same production team as Joy of Life. Modern-day hotshot CEO ends up in the body of an old-day derpy, twerpy little man who is being married off as a husband-of-convenience to a fabric maker entrepreneur. He earns his paycheck as he wiggles his wife’s business out from one sabotage after another, until by the second half, his efforts go from saving the family business to saving the kingdom from insurrection. It’s all fun until the stakes hit hard late in the 2nd half. Ends on a cliffhanger.

Sword Snow Stride (cdrama) - by the same writer as Joy of Life. Fascinating, cinematic, and very human as it follows the lead character’s adventures, who at first tries to push away his familial responsibilities only to slowly make his way to the top once he finally accepts the legacy his father built. Was badly critiqued by many (too slow, too blue, too boring?), but my family and I were riveted from the very first episode. It’s smart, gives generous space for each character to exist in the moment, has fun classical wuxia stylings, and is brimming with truly fantastic old men. Alas, there aren’t any old females, but the many young women are varied with their own personalities. Unfortunately, the pacing/editing/effects got weak at the very last showdown--I suspect it got drastically reduced in episodes and they tried to salvage an ending with hopes for a season 2. =/

A Dream of Splendor (cdrama) - pleasantly intelligent story about 3 friends as they struggle through life, business, politics, and romance. Quite female-friendly, with good acting and chemistry by everyone. Happy ending! Best summarized (with spoilers) by @silviakundera 's review here

Little Women - It bears no resemblance to its source of inspiration, and is instead a murder mystery thriller psychological horror investigative conspiracy corruption case of the rich eating the poor, only this time, the poor gets JUSTICE IN THIS LIFE, and it’s most excellent. Kim Go-eun is absolutely fantastic amongst an already solid cast. I also harbor lots of heartu eyes for Wi Ha Joon, though his role is relatively minor. This is a drama where women rule the show!

Reborn Rich - Fantastic reincarnation(?) political revenge story penned by the writer of Designated Survivor: 60 Days, where Song Joongki plays two roles across 3 decades as he wheels, deals, and leverages his knowledge of the future in his schemes to bring down the chaebol family running Soonyang corporation as well as reveal the murderer(s) who kill him in two lifetimes. As easy on the eyes as baby-faced Joongki might be, however, the master of this drama is Lee Sung Min, who crushes the already competent cast with authoritative charisma. A horrid capitalist pig, a terrible father, and a despicable husband, yet somehow by the end, I couldn’t bear to see him go. Watch watch watch!

The Glory - A revenge story tightly directed by Ahn Gil Ho. It was harrowing to watch high schoolers torture each other, but very satisfying to watch all the pieces come together and every terrible person get what they deserve. Heartu eyes to the tightly buttoned, go-romantic, sapiosexual Ha Do-yeong; his charisma and chemistry with the FL was off the charts and he deserved a MUCH bigger role than he was given.

My Journey to You (cdrama) - sumptuous, thrilling, twisty romance mixed with assassins, devious plots, circular story-telling, and a fine mix of sweet/smart/funny/emotional/sexy. The pacing is addictive, everything is beyond aesthetic, and most importantly of all, such fabulous characterizations and performances from multiple no name actors. There’s so much talent to look out for in the future, it personally makes ups for the info-dump villain reveal, sad endings for too many side characters, and the cliffhanger ending for a season 2 that may never come.

The Double (cdrama) - lurid, over the top, and absolutely cracktastic from beginning to end!!! The wind machine was it's own character. Succinct review here by @gizkasparadise

Cops/Prosecutors/Lawyers/Case Procedurals:

Stranger S1, S2 - Pinnacle kdrama quality, it can be matched but can never be topped. S1 introduced us to an amazing cast of characters, and is so smart, so well-acted, a thriller-mystery-inspirational rallying cry for Good that is tightly paced and shot with rare clarity. Sadly, S2 switched directors and IMO (I might be the minority on this) that switch destroyed the clarity and pacing that S2′s incredibly ambitious and sprawling story required. S2 is worthwhile to see at least once because of the nuance and layers, and the introduction of some fantastic new characters, but be prepared for confusion (unless you have photographic memory) and time-wasting obfuscating moodiness (it is pretty though). See my next recommendation, Watcher, to understand how S1 Director Ahn Gil-ho can take a stupidly twisty plotline and make it crystal-clear. (ETA: I recently rewatched both seasons and found myself enjoying both of them so much! My issues with S2 cleared up once I knew where the cases were going, and I was able to settle in and enjoy the performances and the complicated layers of the plots.)

Watcher - Three interesting and difficult characters enmeshed in a stupidly twisty serial killer case that nonetheless never confuses and pulls you along puuurrrrfectly. Seo Kang Joon transforms completely into a damaged and possibly dangerous young cop; Han Suk-kyu excels as the enigmatic mastermind who may or may not actually want justice; Kim Hyun-Joo--wow, I wanted to throttle her sometimes, but never did I not understand where she was coming from. Stylish, exciting, and compelling! I also adore the design of the opening screens.

The Good Detective - nothing groundbreaking, just really well done and enjoyable. Sadly S2 is a bit of a letdown in both tension, character-building, and plotting.

Signal - remake of Frequency. Old radio connects past detective to present detective to solve the same serial murder case. Bad points: Lee Je Hoon has a weird way of talking, the cool female cop kind of ends up just crying a lot, and that pointless cliffhanger ending! But still worth one watch. Great summation by @rain-hat

Tunnel - More rewatchable than Signal. Cop from past travels forward in time to solve serial murder case in both eras. Cute prickly bromance; does suffer from Female Too-stupid-to-Live syndrome.

Mad Dog - yoooo, WOO DO HWAN! Endure through the first two episodes, because once Woo Do Hwan makes his true entrance, the team is COMPLETE. The Shenanigans! The ANGST! The Found Family! This was the first time I experienced Woo Do Hwan, and the love his performance ignited in my cold shriveled heart was enough to make a social media pariah like me make an AO3/tumblr username dedicated to him. He is indeed a sad viper in this show, and I just. He was the first Insta I followed, okay? I’m going to follow him for the rest of my life.

A New Leaf - Kim Myung Min is an unethical asshole of a laywer, until he gets amnesia and reverts back to his wholesome former self. He then proceeds to try to fix everything his uglier self has wrought. The show pretends to be a rom-com at first, but it ends up being perfectly platonic and I love it for that. Not every case is won, so there is an element of ‘life goes on’.

Kill It - Veterinarian-by-day/assassin-by-night searches for the truth about his past (and kills bad guys) while his stunningly gorgeous childhood friend from the orphanage is the detective chasing him down. Hidden identities, hidden competencies, found family, protectiveness, wow, this show has it all.  I found the pacing good, awesome tension building, some surprisingly touching-if-cheesy Russian acting from David Lee McInnis, fantastic if sparse action scenes, great OST, lots of pensive staring, and a romance so understated I almost missed it (just the way I like it, honestly). Sad ending, but hardly unexpected and at least they save it to the very end of the last episode.

Bad Guys - Like the Dirty Dozen. A hitman, a gangster, and a psychopath grudgingly team up to take down criminals under the watch of an angry, bitter, spit-tastic cop with no chill. The resulting bromance is to die for. I rewatched 3 times, this is an absolute guilty pleasure for me. <3 (Warning: Stupid female cop) Too bad the sequel was unwatchable shaky cam and tiresome with endless betrayals on betrayals, because they really scaled up the action sequences to impressive levels.

The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty (cdrama) - I actually almost dropped this 4 eps in from boredom but it gained a 2nd life when my family wanted to watch it together and we all got sucked in. The cases are forgettable and the politics not that smart, but the real money makers were the found family and friendships that featured around the most deliciously presented meals. Also, it has a really cool opening theme + sequence!

Taxi Driver - Exactly what you want in a team case drama. It has so much I love - team dynamics, hidden identities as the vigilante team works undercover to trick the bad guys, competencies galore! And the fighting!! A++ music as well. Perhaps most importantly, the show remains fixed in a moral universe--it addresses the wrong that the protagonists played a part in head-on, yet manages to serve a satisfying final revenge AND a perfect happy ending all in one. It does lean too heavy on the victims’ suffering in the earlier episodes, but its nothing that the 10 sec skip button won’t solve. 

Don't Call It Mystery (jdrama) - a highly observant, intelligent, oddball college student is framed for murder and changes hearts and minds in order to prove his innocence. He then falls into helping the police with multiple cases that follow.  Think Sherlock but with empathy! Slightly artsy, doesn't drag on, but does end on a cliffhanger. Can't wait for season 2!

Ancient Detective (cdrama) - A helpless-but-brilliant detective with amnesia solves strange, supernatural-esq cases throughout Jianghu while also searching for the the truth behind the death of his father. It’s a silly show that actually has logic in a lot of what is said. It also has much more solid wirework in the fight scenes than I usually see nowadays, reminds me of the kungfu dramas of the early 2000s! Shoutout to the himbo that gloms onto the detective early in the story, such a fun and charming dumbnut! Wraps up its open cases but ends on a cliffhanger.

A League of Nobleman (cdrama) - There’s a perfect review by PeachBlossomGoddess on MDL, but since I can’t find a way to link directly to it, I just have to say that this show is truly sumptuous and packed with some fabulous, and fabulous-looking, actors. The cases, perhaps, end up stretching further than a bungee cord in its attempts to stay logical and tightly interconnected, but it makes sense if you treat the show like a theatre performance. The setting and the plot merely sets the stage for the actors to emote at each other with increasing vigor and passion while the camera tilts slowly for maximum cinematic effect.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (cdrama) - A sickly-but-brilliant fake doctor, a cute, hyperactive detective, and occasionally the doctor’s old nemesis travel around Jianghu solving strange, supernatural-esq cases while also searching for the truth behind the death of the doctor’s sworn brother. Slow start for me, but once all 3 leads appeared, their chemistry became overpowering and addictive. This show literally hits 9 of my 12 favorite things to watch. Definitely wished for more episodes to see many throwaway lines expanded on or for cases to be more show and less tell. Ends melancholic and open-ended...;__; All 3 actors are on my watch list now, but I’m especially impressed by Cheng Yi. At first he looked funny and squashed to me, but his charisma is off the charts!

Killing Vote - vigilante justice turned voting game - is it wrong to take justice in your own hands when the law clearly won't provide it? Incredible performances from everyone, even from someone like Kim Kwon who usually does not impress but who stepped up fantastically. The biggest draw is Park Haejin and Park Sung-woong's divorced couple chemistry and the cat-mouse game they play trying to suss out who is the masked Gaetal. Unfortunately, it ends quite bleakly and with an annoying hook for s2.

Slice of Life, Slow Human Stories:

Hospital Playlist S1 - warm and full of friendships while painting complete personalities of each of the cast

Mystic Pop-up Bar - supernatural, found family, divided into case stories that are extremely human and touching. Like a high budget jdrama.

I’ll See You When the Weather Is Nice - slow, moody, and pensive as  the protagonists heal from their traumas and fall in love in a small rural town

Reply 1988 - Like Hospital Playlist, only set in the 80s-90s around the daily lives of several families living together on the same street. Calming and interesting.

3 Star Bar in Nishiogikubo (jdrama) - itty bitty drama, just six 25 min episodes! 3 high school classmates take a break from life to run a bar together. An excellent palate cleanser for when you aren’t ready for a long commitment.

Just Between Lovers - Review by @beingjanee

Life - by the same writer as Stranger, and with nearly the same cast!! Fascinating exploration of the tension between the ethics of healing vs. the practical realities of running a business, and the compromises that must be made therein. Also the most nuanced portrayal of disability that I’ve ever seen.

Father is Strange - Watch a wholesome, healthy, supportive family take on the most ridiculous soap opera plots and be so Good despite their individual flaws that they end up rehabilitating all the problem people who enter their orbit. Feel free to fast forward through story lines that don’t speak to you.

2521 - Nicely made slice-of-life with a liberal dose of 90′s sports anime nostalgia and young people striving to be their best selves. Don’t watch for the romance--based on the tangential online chaos that erupted over the finale. Watch for the people, their emotions, their struggles, and their joy. It’s both real and highly romanticized.

Koi Desu: Yankee-kun to Hakujou Garu (jdrama) - Absolutely adorable romantic fluff. A scarred delinquent runs into a blind girl, and through exuberant wholesomeness, they fall in love and expand both of their worlds. They try to trick you into thinking there will be Drama (tm), but there’s none; this show zips right past what other shows would milk for at least another episode and goes right to the happy aftermath.

Meet Yourself (cdrama) -  lovely, slow paced and cozy. Superficially it sounds like a Hallmark movie, in reality it is a healing romantic slice of life tourism advertisement. Filled with intelligent people, all problems are realistic and dealt with in the nicest way possible without being too manipulative.

Hikaru no Go (cdrama) - wonderful remake of the manga/anime about competitive go. Shi Guang is a bit of a smart alec, but the story is beautifully told with many characters, full of human feeling and relationships.

Horror, Psychological Terror:

Save Me - going to sound like a broken record, but WOO DO HWAN!!! He stole the show in the most stunning way as the 2nd male lead, though it takes at least 4-5 episodes before he really emerges onscreen. Seriously, I want to marry Seok Dong-chul. In the meantime, the cult progression slowly and steadily details how vulnerable people get entrapped physically and mentally by evil. Claustrophobic, chilling, dark, and gross as you watch the cultists get their way far too often for comfort. But it does end happily all things considered.

Kingdom S1 - saeguk zombies, very cinematic. The zombies are fast!! Ends unfinished but I couldn’t watch S2

Revenant - moody, slow, appropriately horrific, packed with acting talent and a story that gives the actors room to crush it. Kim Taeri, and the evil ghost possessing her, are absolutely incredible!! Perhaps my only idle wish is that the chemistry between her and the Professor, and/or her and the young cop, might have been developed further. Alas, it’s not that kind of show! At least it ends well.

Defies Categorization:

The School Nurse Files - artsy, oddball, bubblegum horror, no coherent plot but there is an overall direction

D.P. - full of human feeling and absolutely devastating when it makes its final point. Sticks with you for a long time. Beware violence and horrible military hazing

Lulz, Fantastic, Bombastic, I Love It (Quality with Flaws(TM), but they spoke to me when I needed it):

The King: Eternal Monarch (romantic sci-fi faux-political fake-thriller) - do I even need to say anything about this? So much pretty, so much ambitious potential, so much star-power assembled only for it to taste rather flat and unfulfilled by the end. But it was the summer of COVID and the dawn of a creative awakening. I made new friends and had so much fun pondering whys and wherefores! I’ll treasure this hot mess forever. <3

My Country: The New Age (saeguk action war politics) - It pretends to be about politics, but it’s not about politics. It’s about Nam Seon-ho’s bloody, sweaty, love-hate desperation for his childhood friend, Hwi, against the backdrop of war and the changeover of imperial power. Also features some terrible fathers with powerful presences, a very sexy Prince Bangwon, an angry minion named Sung-rok, and some pointless females. I laughed a lot, cried buckets of tears, and then wrote fic. Woo Do Hwan’s flowing locks of L’Oreal hair and heaving bosom were that inspirational. <3

Meow: The Secret Boy (fantasy romcom) - some days, you just need a silly little romantic comedy about a cat that transforms into pretty, dimply Kim Myung-soo. Put aside thoughts of bestiality and voyeurism, this show is candy-colored and is not to be taken seriously.

The K2 (action thriller romantic politics) - Highly choreographed action scenes, shaky cam just shy of being unbearable, Ji Chang Wook’s muscles and predictable(yet effective!) arsenal of expressions that were ready to mesmerize as the nameless bodyguard-on-the-run, and a Noona Romance that buuuurrned smoked and sizzled like all that pork belly that gets BBQ’d in every kdrama. I endured Supreme Idiocy to watch more of Song Yoon-ah. And by Supreme Idiocy, I mean a wooden and moronic female love interest, embarrassing Middle Eastern war conflict flashbacks, a laughable portrayal of PTSD triggers, zero morality whatsoever....gosh. But hey! Bodyguard babe! Watch at least the first 5 eps. :3

Man to Man (romcom hijinks politics) - The Original Bromance(TM). Secret agent man masquerades as a bodyguard to an action star man-child in order to thwart international conspiracies. Terrible action, laughable fashion, zero chemistry between Park Hae-jin and Kim Min-jung, and the show feels like two different shows smashed together. It is DUMB and yet. And Yet. I laughed my head off and enjoyed myself so much. What more can you ask for?

The Boy Next Door (webdrama, BL(?) comedy) - two INCREDIBLY dumb guys are forced, through circumstances, to live together, and in the process, accidentally convinces everyone they're a couple. It's so bad, soooo bad, it fell off the edge of the earth and became good. Perfect for the days you need to nuke your brain cells!

Midnight (movie, thriller-horror) - so I watched Squid Game and I’m not gonna recommend it, but I did fall in love with Wi Ha Joon. He has the perfect face to be evil, and look! Here he is being properly evil, though there is no backstory to speak of. I learned some interesting things about  deaf accommodations, I was rooting for the girl! I didn’t find it scary; heck, this isn’t even that good of a movie. But I was in it for the lulz and I got it. :3

Sweet Home (thriller-horror) - I lol’d at the videogame monsters. It’s gory but not very scary to me. Anyway, Song Kang plays the sad, pretty monster boy that the show grants the entire hero arc to, but don’t believe it. The real superstar is the calm, practical, and devoted med student who takes charge of an infested apartment building and does his utmost to keep everyone alive whether they appreciate him or not. Eun-hyeok’s character is an ode to middle managers--he is moral, steadfast, never harms anyone, never resorts to threats or brute force, but simply sees a need and steps up to fill it regardless of the BS that gets thrown his way. He manages down like a champ and never stops making smart decisions under incredible pressure. He should’ve been the hero. ;___; Slick pacing and interesting cast, but don’t expect anyone you like to survive. =/

Psychopath Diary (serial killer comedy) - An extreme pushover witnesses murder, gets amnesia, and while clutching a serial killer’s diary, becomes convinced he is a serial killer and tries to live up to the hype. The villain stole the show for me, lots of understated panache as he first swings from hopeful heartu eyes (i can haz a bestie? to go on murders with?) to maniacal glee as he meticulously sets the pushover up as the fall guy. I wish he got away. I wish he had a (fake) romance storyline. I WISH HE GOT A FLOWER OF EVIL DRAMA!!!!! >_< The possibilities!!!!

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes (tragical romantic thriller) - Seo In Guk...I may never like another role of his, but when it comes to sociopathic(?) bad boy romantic antagonist, he will never be beat. He’s amazing: subtle, manipulative, sincere, cruel, cold, vulnerable, affectionate, messed up. By the last episode, the plot takes a hilarious running leap for the cliffs to end in the worst way possible, and some of the drama truly felt unnecessary (less secrets, some more communication??...), but it’s quite the trip getting there. Great cinematography and music, and special shout-out to my favorite support actor Kim Dong Won, who slays as the chief secretary of a psychopathic chaebol heiress.

Vampire Detective (vampires! procedural schlock)- Came for Lee Joon, left with a newfound love for Lee Joon’s bromance with his bestie Oh Jung Se. Also was impressed with the fights (despite the shaky cam) and enjoyed myself despite (1) bad vampiress acting, (2) boring hetero romance, (3) one of the most emotionally unsatisfying endings ever >:(. Ah well. Lee Joon has a really lovely speaking voice..

Blood of Youth (fantastical adventure & politics) - bombastic and refreshingly idealistic power fantasy about young, talented fighters creating the world that they want to be in. Between the long stretches of videogame battles, there are beautiful costumes and sets, catchy music, gorgeous people, some decent overarching plot, and some boring side stories. Fun and easy way to pass time.

A Familiar Stranger (mini drama) - Face-off woo-hoo with romance, conspiracies, and obsessed lovers. Where the amazing Cheng Lei first caught my eye. It's like if you took Gong Shangjue from My Journey to You and wrote domestic fanfic for him.

Butterflied Lover (mini drama) - Crazy vampiric slaves, rival princes, fraught love lines, and sumptuous visuals. The first web drama that I saw that really pushed the ambitions of the medium.

The Killer is Also Romantic (mini drama) - Mr. And Mrs. Smith in old day China! Fast, fun assassin shenanigans.

Blossoms in Adversity (women in business save themselves drama) - like a budget version of Dreams of Splendor except somehow supremely engaging and fun? Expect overly modern feminism, issues cleanly resolved in about 2 episodes, some dubious acting from the ML, and an addictive good time!

[kcrabb88]

Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!

Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed! 

Movies/Documentaries

Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)

God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)

The Half of It:  When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!) 

Saving Face:  A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)

Moonlight:  A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)

Carol:  An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)

Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)

Pride (Hulu Documentary):  A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)

Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!

A New York Christmas Wedding:  As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!) 

TV Shows 

Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)

Sex Education:  A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!) 

Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.

Gentleman Jack:  A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence  that will make you gay just by watching!) 

Tales of the City (2019):  A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!) 

The Haunting of Bly Manor:  After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)

Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)

Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman:  Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)

A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original. 

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston:  For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)

The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer! 

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters:  Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)

(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!) 

[queenshelby]

DRAMA TEACHER – PART ONE

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut, Divorce, Broken Relationship, Mention of Abuse

Words: 3,567

***New to Dublin***

It has been several weeks since you moved from the UK to Dublin to start a new life with your son Lucas who recently turned 16.

You left an abusive relationship and finally filed for divorce. Nonetheless, Lucas blamed you for everything even for the fact that his father wasn’t allowed to see him until the court orders have been finalised due to his addictions and history of violence.

Lucas hated the fact that he was now attending a new school and, just after two days, he was getting himself into trouble for smoking weed on school premises.

Despite this, you enjoyed your new job as a drama teacher and had recently suggested to the director of the school that it would be fantastic for the children who enrolled into your extra curriculum arts program to participate in an actual play in front of their families and the teachers of the school.

‘What do you think about it Adam?’ you asked. Adam was the school principal and your friend since high school. He always had a crush on you, but never admitted it. It wasn’t until recently that he finally asked you for a date, an offer which you declined since you were working with him on a daily basis.

‘Sure, if you think the students are willing and able to put in this kind of effort, why not?’ Adam said, allowing you to take charge of the extra curriculum drama activities as you see fit. He was just glad to have you on board after the last drama and literature teacher employed by the school was a disaster.

‘I have about six students in two of my classes who seem to be very talented and I think it would be beneficial for them to build up the confidence they need if they want to pursue a career in acting’ you explained before giving Adam the names of the six students.

‘Perhaps you can suggest it to their parents?’ you then went on to say and Adam agreed.

Three weeks later, you got notice from Adam advising you that five out of the six students wish to participate in the program but, in order to be signed off by the board, you would need to find five more students and a volunteer parent to assist you with any work that is to be conducted outside school premises due to regulations imposed by the board.

‘You’ve got anyone in mind?’ you asked.

‘Actually, one of the parents has offered and I think he would be a good fit as he is a well-known actor and has had several stage performances himself’ Adam explained.

‘I assume you are talking about Hendrix and Charlie’s dad?’ you asked, remembering having met him a few times already at pick up on Wednesdays and every second Friday.

‘Yes, Cillian Murphy’ Adam said before continuing on ‘Cillian mentioned that he’s got no engagements for the next three months, so I suggest you talk to him’ Adam suggested.

‘Alright. So, do you know each other since you are on first name basis?’ you asked surprised.

‘Yes, for a matter of fact, I do. His brother is married to my sister. We occasionally have a few drinks. He is easy going. You will get along just fine’ Adam said.

‘Alright, I will talk to him then. Thanks Adam’ you said before quickly leaving Adam’s office.

Adam had recently made yet another attempt to ask for a date which you pushed back on, which meant that you tried to engage in as little small talk as possible.

***Interested in Someone Else***

The following Wednesday, when Cillian picked up his boys from school, you approached him. You felt somewhat uncomfortable about it, knowing that he was probably overqualified for this task. But, he had offered and there was no one else who you thought could do a better job with the students than someone like him, someone with experience.

‘Uhm, Mr Murphy, do you have a minute?’ you asked as he was trying to get his sons to pack up their bags while they were too busy fighting with each other once again. They both were very creative, but also very messy and constantly argued.

‘Oh no…what did they do?’ he chuckled as he pulled Hendrix’s bag apart looking for the rest of the mandarin peel which Charlie had stuffed in there just seconds ago to get under Hendrix’s skin.

‘Jesus Hendrix’ he huffed as he found three empty chocolate wrappers instead and put them into the bin.

‘Sorry Miss L/N, you have my attention now…you were saying?’ he chuckled

‘The boys are great, really well behaved’ you said as you noticed that Cillian looked at you with concern, thinking his sons were in trouble.

‘Really? I find that hard to believe’ he laughed before telling them off again for fighting with each other.

‘I have spoken to our principal, Mr Walsh, and he mentioned that you would be willing to get involved in the drama project as a volunteer. In order to get it approved by our board, I would need one parent to volunteer’ you explained shyly.

‘That’s right, so long as it is within the next three months. After that I will be in the US for a few months for work’ Cillian explained just before the boys interrupted him.

‘I assume that’s what the beard is for?’ you grinned, having noticed that it has slowly been growing longer and longer over the past few weeks.

‘Unfortunately’ he laughed, running one of his hands over his stubble just as Charlie came over and interrupted him.

‘Seriously Dad? Do you know how embarrassing this will be for us if you are working with Miss L/N?’ Charlie huffed.

‘Yes, Charlie wants to impress Nadine Seymour and you are really going to ruin it’ Hendrix teased, causing Charlie to nudge him

‘No fighting and no girlfriends! Understood?’ Cillian chuckled before inviting you for a coffee on Friday after school so that you can discuss the drama program.

You gladly accepted Cillian’s invitation, much to his sons’ disappointment.

‘Are you having a date with our teacher? That’s so disgusting’ you then heard Hendrix say as Cillian was walking off with them.

***Two Weeks Later***

Two weeks later, your drama project was in full swing and you had decided to allow the students to practise their play at a real theatre in Dublin once per week when Cillian was available.

You and Cillian got along well and his boys continuously teased him about hanging out with their teacher. But there was nothing awkward between you until, one day, you engaged into some deeper conversation while none of the children were around.

Cillian had found out about your son’s problems at school. His boys had told him about Lucas’s reputation and, over a few hours and a few beers following theatre practise, you opened up to him about your divorce and your relationship with Lucas’s father.

You didn’t know why you told him, but you enjoyed his company. He was a good listener and he was quite reserved and private which made you trust him.

But, over the following week, you started to enjoy his company a little too much. He certainly was an attractive man and, by what you could tell, a fantastic father. He seemed perfect and you knew you shouldn’t fantasise about him the way you did over that past week.

This was easier said than done. He had everything your ex lacked. He was patient, kind and empathetic. You enjoyed working with him and your son soon noticed, giving you a hard time about it soon enough.

To your surprise, after about three weeks of working together and following the last practise, Cillian took matters a little further than you had expected and, after all the kids had left and his boys had been picked up by their mother, Cillian asked you whether you wanted to have dinner with him some time.

You politely declined his offer, explaining to him that you weren’t ready to start dating and that sure felt like a date to you.

That same night, you regretted your decision after talking to your sister about it. You trusted your sister with everything and you encouraged you to give him a chance.

You were afraid to develop feeling, to let anyone to your life, but you were of the view that you must learn how to trust before you can love again.

‘Does your dinner offer still stand?’ you texted Cillian that night, hoping that he would reply quickly to your message.

‘It sure does’ Cillian texted back within seconds.

‘Pick me up at 6 o’clock tomorrow? Lucas is having a sleep over at a friend’s place’ you responded.

‘6 o’clock it is’ Cillian texted back.  

***Date Night***

The following evening, Cillian picked you up at 6 o’clock as promised and, after complimenting your outfit, which was a black buttoned dress, you both got into his car and drove into Dublin’s city centre.

‘So where are you taking me?’ you asked somewhat shyly and Cillian was quick to hand you a pamphlet.

‘A theatre?’ you asked surprised.

‘Sort of. It is a restaurant in the arts district where you can watch pop up shows during the drama festival. It’s contemporary, but you might spot some real good talent there’ Cillian explained and your excitement was growing.

His idea was very thoughtful and you appreciated the fact that this wasn’t going to be your average Italian restaurant date.

Over dinner you and Cillian talked a lot about your lives, your relationships and your children while watching the most interesting people perform the most interesting short plays. Some of them were real pieces of art and the performers put an immense effort into their performance and costumes.

After about two hours, Cillian offered to drive you home and you gladly accepted his offer.

‘Uhm would you like to come up for a drink?’ you asked as you arrived at your apartment building.

‘Sure, yes, why not’ Cillian said before turning off his car and following you to your apartment.

But the drink never eventuated and, as soon as you opened the door to your apartment, Cillian’s lips were on yours.

‘Fuck I am sorry Y/N’ Cillian said, pulling back quite quickly as he realised that things were probably moving too fast for you after what you had told him a few days ago.

‘No, don’t. I want this’ you reassured him, your voice quiet and your eyes fierce before pressing your lips back onto his.

‘For once, I want to feel like a real woman. I want to be desired... loved, I want to know what this feels like’ you said as you could see the fire in his eyes as you slowly dragged him into your bedroom.

He stepped forward then, tilting your chin up with his finger, brushing his lips over yours, and allowing his tongue to caress your lower lip. Your body shook softly as you melted into his embrace, your lips parting, granting access to Cillian's tongue, which immediately snaked into your mouth and embarked on a search for yours.

You sighed softly, draping your arms around his neck and pressing your body against Cillian's torso. The kiss was deep, passionate and almost immediately took your breath away. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced, stoking the fire already burning deep within your body. When Cillian finally released you from his embrace you were left panting and wanting more.

‘You are beautiful, you know that?’ Cillian whispered as he started unbuttoning the black dress that draped so alluringly across your breasts and waist.

‘If you say so’ you giggled before looking straight into his eyes. You proceeded to shrug the dress from your shoulders, blushing as Cillian's eyes consumed you.

He kissed you again, his hands sliding down to cup your ass as he pressed his fully hard cock against you.

‘I want you, Cillian’ you gasped softly as you felt him rubbing against you.

He walked you slowly back to the bed, laying you down gently and stripping his clothes from his body. You looked up at him, biting your lip, as he first pulled his t-shirt over his head, exposing his perfectly shaped chest and torso. Your heart began to pound as he kicked off his shoes and undid his pants, dropping them to his ankles. In no time at all his cock was free and pointing proudly to the ceiling.

You stared at it from your place on the bed, mesmerized by the way it bobbed and weaved as he gazed lustily at your nearly naked body.

You gasped when Cillian got to his knees, spreading your legs and placing soft butterfly kisses on your thighs. You blushed, knowing what Cillian intended, an act that your ex-husband had never, in all your years of marriage, performed.

‘Cillian’ you said quietly, attempting to close your legs.

Cillian held them apart gently as he looked up at your quizzically.

‘I've never...I've never had anyone do that to me’ you said, refusing to meet his eyes.

‘Really?’ he asked surprised and you answered by shaking your head almost shyly.

‘Well, there is a first time for everything Y/N. Just relax. I will stop whenever you tell me to, alright?’ he said, attempting to soothe and calm you and you nodded, biting your lip in anticipation.

And with that he reached up and grasped the waist of your panties, tugging at them gently. You submitted, lifting your hips and closing your eyes as Cillian slid the panties down your thighs. You kept your legs clamped tightly together however as he dropped them to the floor.

Your ex husband had been the first and only men you’ve been with and you were beyond nervous.

‘Cillian’ you murmured as he pressed gently on the insides of your knees in a silent request.

Your legs parted in response and you blushed a deep red at the thought of your most intimate spot exposed to Cillian's gaze. Leaning forward, he kissed the inside of each of your thighs before, a moment later, his tongue was buried in your soft folds, tasting your sweetness. Your body bucked wildly as he drew his tongue through your sweet flesh, your hips rising from the bed from the jolts of pure pleasure that shot through your body when he discovered the little bud that was your clit.

‘Oh God, Cillian!’ you moaned, covering your eyes with the back of your hand.

He opened your legs a little more, twisting his head and running the tip of his tongue the full length of your glistening pussy, savoring the sweet taste of your juice. Reaching up, he found one of your stiff nipples and tugged at it softly as he continued exploring you with his mouth.

You moaned, squirming on the bed from the pleasure building within you as he relentlessly worked at your pussy.

‘Don't stop please, fuck’ you hissed, grasping at the sheet and closing your thighs around his head.

Cillian had no intention of stopping as his tongue lapped at you, his mouth moving in circles as he sought ways to enhance your pleasure. Your body arched upwards when his lips closed around your clit, sucking it into his mouth and flicking at it gently with the very tip of his tongue. Your breathing was ragged, your moans increasing in volume as his mouth worked relentlessly at your sex. It took no more than a few minutes for your pleasure to build to an overwhelming level.

‘Oh my God! Cillian! Oh my God!’ you screamed as a searing orgasm claimed you.

Your entire body shuddered and shook as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through you. Cillian simply gripped your thighs and continued to lick your clit as your body convulsed on the bed. The orgasm seemed to go on forever and it was at least a minute before your mind was once again in control, Finally, your eyes flickered open and you looked at Cillian shyly, his head still positioned between your thighs.

‘Cillian, that was...oh my God, it was amazing. I never imagined...’ you said exhausted.

Cillian raised his head, grinning.

‘There's a lot more to come, Y/N’ he replied, raising himself to your knees.

He could see the trepidation on your face as you eyed his hard, swollen cock which pointed eagerly towards the ceiling.

‘It's okay, I will go slowly’ he said softly, caressing your thigh with his fingers. ‘Do you have…?’ he then went on to ask and, before he could finish his sentence, you shook your head.

‘I’ve just had my implant replaced’ you assured him and this was all he needed to hear.

Reaching down and grasping his member he dragged his head through your folds, causing you to moan once again. The heat from his cock was palpable, the touch of it electric, as he moved it through your puffy lips.

‘Cillian, please... I need you’ you moaned.

‘Not yet, Y/N’ he teased, sliding the head of his cock up and down your slick slit, spreading your soft lips but refusing to penetrate your just yet.

‘God, Cillian... please’ you begged.

He relented then, groaning as he pushed the head of his cock into you, your tight walls gripping him as he pushed deeper, filling you.

‘Oh god yes’ you hissed, your eyes glued to his as he began stroking the full length of his cock into you.

He kissed you, taking your mouth with his as you moaned in pleasure. Drawing his hips back, Cillian's cock slid easily from your sex, eliciting a delicious whimper from your throat. Immediately he thrust back into you in one smooth movement and then repeated the action, giving you deep hard strokes as he built to a steady rhythm.

You moaned and squirmed beneath him; your body rising from the bed to meet each thrust of his almost perfect manhood.

‘Cillian, fuck’ you gasped as he worked himself in and out of you. Your body was on fire, every nerve alight as Cillian fucked you in a way you had never before experienced. Usually, your ex-husband would mount you and simply jackhammer into you for a couple of minutes before gasping in your ear as he came. Cillian, however, was intent on ensuring your pleasure, varying the pace and depth of his thrusts, gyrating his hips against yours, and changing the angle now and then to ensure that he ground against your clit.

Fuck, Y/N... you are so tight. It feels so good’ Cillian moaned.

Cillian, no...’ you whimpered as he pulled his cock from you.

‘Don’t worry, I am not finished with you yet. Turn over’ he chuckled.

You scrambled to your hands and knees quickly, the need to have Cillian's cock inside you driving your movements. Cillian, for his part, felt the same and he wasted no time in entering you again.

He thrust deep into you, driving the breath from your body as he pounded his cock into your sweet, tight pussy over and over. You were in heaven; Cillian was taking you in exactly the way you had imagined so many times over the past few weeks when you dreamt about him. His desire for you palpable in every thrust of his rock-hard member.

As Cillian continued to thrust into you, you buried your face in the pillow, moaning continuously as Cillian took you, the friction of his shaft against your tight walls sending waves of pleasure to the sensory centers of your brain. Instinctively, you pushed back against him, attempting to get every inch of him into you. You were rewarded with a long, guttural moan.

‘Y/N, I'm close’ he warned you.

‘Good, so am I’ you gasped in response. ‘Take me, Cillian’ you moaned.

He picked up the pace, his thrusting becoming almost desperate as he fought to make you finish before he did. He held you in place tightly, his solid shaft slamming into you again and again.

Suddenly you were there, crying out loudly as an intense, almost nuclear, burst of pleasure erupted from deep within and spread through your body.

‘Oh god yes, Cillian fuck’ you screamed, your pussy convulsing around Cillian's shaft.

The sight and sound of your orgasm was too much for Cillian and after just a few more thrusts, he too erupted, forcing spurts of warm cum into you. His eyes glazed and he lost all sense of time and place as he surrendered to the intense pleasure swamping his body.

‘Fuck, that's so good!’ he panted as the two of you, shuddering and shaking in unison, reveled in the fruits of your labor.

Finally, it was over. Gently, you uncoupled your panting bodies and, rolling onto his back, Cillian gasped again, eliciting a wide smile from you.

You snuggled against his warm chest, your thigh cast carelessly over his legs. You were content, basking in the warm glow of perfect sex.

But, your sense of lust and desire was soon to come to an end as you heard Lucas shouting.

‘Mum, are you home?’ he yelled out, causing both Cillian’s and your eyes to widen.

   Tag List (Cillian):

@lilymurphy03  @deefigs @theflamecrystal   @desperate-and-broken  @weepingstudentfishhorse   @livinginfantaxy  @rosey1981  @atomicsoulcollecto  @peakyboyslover  @nerdy4itall  @elenavampire21  @hanster1998  @mariapaiva13  @fairypitou  @harry-is-my-sunflower  @zozeebo  @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa  @littlewierdalien  @sad-huffle-nerd  @theflamecrystal   @peakymalfoyscullymulder  @themissthang  @0ghostwriter0  @stylescanbeatmyback  @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni  @momoneymolife  @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03  @mcntsee@cloudofdisney @missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder  @otterly-fey @janelongxox  @uchihacumdump @basiclassy  @being-worthy  @chaotic-bean-of-smolness  @margoo0 @chocolatehalo​  @vhscillian​  @ysmmsy​  

Cannot Tag (please check your settings):

@l0tsofpennies @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee  @daydreamingnymph  @fookingshelby

[oscarswildetiger]

I was tagged by @terryfphanatics to compile a list of 9 movies that I loved, and at first I couldn’t think of one movie, then I had too many and had to edit. So this is just a loosely based list on 9 movies that are definitely at the top of my Movies I love list.

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure! Hands down one of my favorites, while I’ve been decorating my house I’m trying to take inspiration from Graceland and Pee-Wee in every room. This movie is silly and ridiculous. A perfect mashup of camp, Burton, and Danny Elfman. 

I first watched Harold and Maude when I was a junior in High School. Someone else in our drama class had watched it and talked about how funny it was, and afterward I asked my Drama teacher what it was about and the description he gave me was so WILDLY DIFFERENT than what the movie was that when I watched it the first time I was so disappointed. However it’s since grown on me and continues to be one of my favorites to this day. I watch this movie when I’m happy. I watch this movie when I’m sad and grieving. I’ve stood in line on record store day to purchase the soundtrack on vinyl. I try to model my life like Maude even when I find inspiration in Harold. And Vivian Perkins continues to be fashion inspo every day of the week.

Hey so don’t fucking judge me okay. Yes yes, I love Gene Wilder and I love Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory but @terryfphanatics already did that and besides those two movies are bad bitches and we don’t pit bad bitches against each other. I don’t know why so many people HATE this movie, if anything it’s more accurate to the book than the 1971 version (Though lacking in Oscar Wilde quotes) But anyway. I was so excited, this movie came out the height of my Tim Burton and Johnny Depp phase and I went to the midnight showing. It possessed me completely and then I saw it FOUR MORE times in theaters. My friends bought me purple leather silk lined gloves. I bought the velvet jacket, I cut my hair. I wore vests and pinstripe pants to school. I made golden tickets and folded them into king sized candy bars for my 16th birthday and handed them out at school with no explanation. I had never been so popular. Everything at my party was chocolate. Chocolate cups and everything! All my friends gave me Charlie and the Chocolate factory merch. I was living it. I don’t have any complaints about this movie. It’s delightful. I love it all. Don’t come for this movie or I’ll come for you.

Big Trouble in Little China was a movie I was exposed to very young and I only continue to love it more as I get older. I’m in love with Kurt Russell. I quote it all the time. It’s so 80′s and action packed without going over the top with fight scenes like some other john carpenter flicks. I like to use this movie to gauge whether or not I will get along with someone. 

Truth Beauty Freedom Love. Is there anything else to say? I remember when this movie came out my parents wouldn’t let me see it but when I finally got to see it years later it was like I discovered drugs for the first time. I changed my whole room to be french and moulin rouge themed. My friends and I would sing the songs to each other in the stair wells. The music and the costumes are *chef kiss*

When I was little I wanted to change my name to Sally because of this movie. I expect the man I marry to be like Gary Hallet even if I keep chasing after Jimmy Angeloves.  And if I’m lucky I’ll end up like Aunt Francis, she’s really all I ever wanted to be in this world. If you haven’t seen it, take a windy summer night and watch it with the windows open.

Less and less people seem to have seen this gem of a movie. A perfect horror movie set in a neutral setting. Bored suburban neighbors growing increasingly wary of their new neighbors? It’s amazing. Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, and Corey Feldman? Yes please. Again, if you haven’t seen it. Perfect Summer night flick.

This Movie is great on so many levels. I quote it non stop. It had such a big impact on me from when I first saw it at a sleep over. As stupid as Austin Powers but with far more charm. The best thing about this movie is seeing how many cameos there really are. Talk about star studded as well! Ben Stiller, Jerry Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor, and countless cameos including David Bowie in maybe one of the best movie scenes of all time. 

Marissa. Tomei.  I’m gonna go ahead and tag @beardedbarista @hatglasses @impure-lace @pmastamonkmonk @everyonespinkontheinside but no pressure

[scmsdivinecultists]

What your fave SCM god says about you

I read one psychology article and now I’m all knowing. Hope at least one of these points apply to you simps

If your favourite is Leon, you are one of the following:

Youngest child

Outcast or the “popular” kid

Daddy issues

Your childhood dream was either to be royalty or be rich

You hyperfixate to many things

You might say ur not charismatic but you’ve had at least more than 1 person you rejected a love confession to

“You’re wrong, I’m right, shut up.”

You don’t fall in love easily but once you do, you fall hard

You like smug bastards or you have a bondage fantasy

Your favourite voltage game is one of the following: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, Court of Darkness, Masquerade’s Kiss, or Kings of Paradise

You have fairy lights in your room filled with pictures or posters

You had a massive friend group but at least 5 people have left from then to now

You cling onto memories like they’re a lifeline

You have the latest phone or more than 3 leisure electronics

If your favourite is Scorpio:

You can’t be any taller than 5′6

You probably listen to bands and can’t go anywhere without your headphones

Really creative

Your favourite Shakespeare play was Hamlet or Macbeth

Have had or is going through an emo phase

Hates writing essays

Have 3 best friends max

You have definitely bought albums, posters, or merch of your faves

ur probably a weeb

you’ve broken a bone or you’re very knowledgeable in the medical field/how to harm the human body for some reason

dark humour is the best humour

Your friends are very concerned for you because of said humour

You like watching people play Monopoly bc of the chaos

into so many fandoms that you know the lore of your faves more than you know the material you learn at school

If your favourite is Teorus:

You are an only or youngest child

Spoiled

Daddy/Mommy issues

Abandonment issues

You feel like you fade into the background/don’t contribute much to the group

You feel like you are often forgotten

You’re close with your cousins

You probably have a pet

Taylor Swift or 1D for life

Have definitely threatened to kill or beat someone up despite you intimidating no one

You want to play an important role but you are so not the leader type

You like Ouran Host Club

You like the outdoors

You probably like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

Your favourite disney princess is Rapunzel or Cinderella

If your favourite is Huedhaut:

You are definitely a romantic

You’re not an air sign (Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra)

You’re a moron or you make bad decisions and Hue is there to help balance that out

Chances are you read more fanfic than actual books

Your system is 70% caffeine

For some reason you have lots of random trivia

Have you considered therapy for your suppressed trauma?

Dungeons and Dragons fan

You’re really into alcohol or you despise it

Loyalty is the trait you admire most

You want to feel like a sassy and classy bitch but you gave up after 2 days

Your favourite ship trope is enemies to lovers or slow burn

A lot of pent up angst but you hide it 

you put other people > yourself bc you don’t want them to make the same mistakes you did

Why do you have so many memes saved?

Why do you have reaction pictures for everything?

If your favourite is Dui:

You’re probably not into guys

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

Either you’re a precious sunshine child or you are the most fucked up human in your friend circle

You have a choking kink

You either take sides in fights or you’re the middle ground

You make lots of threats but no one is acc taking them seriously

You probably are a massive manipulator

You’re psychotic and have violent tendencies 

Your best friend lives far away from you/ you have an internet friend that gets you more than your IRL ones

You say honesty is the best policy but you lie the most

Everyone comes to you for advice but you think you’re the most mentally unstable

You have identity issues and u change ur mind all the time 

Whatever you were as a kid, you’re probably the opposite of that now

If your favourite is Ichthys:

You are attached to the characters with the most trauma

You must not be a clean freak or your room is equally as messy as Ikky’s

Oldest or middle child (either way u have siblings) 

Never got to go to an amusement park as a kid 

Want attention/didn't get enough attention as a kid

You want Ichthys’ parents to adopt u bc they are the family stability you crave

Unresolved trauma and definitely not mentally stable 

You liked dinosaurs as a kid

You had pet fish as a kid and they all died bc you overfed them

Using anything else to escape ur reality 

Cartoons > real life actors

Probably hate seafood or afraid of the sea (ironic as it is)

Nostalgia is your best friend

Hurt/Comfort is your favourite AO3 tag

You collect random shit or you have a memory box

You are the reason child leashes were invented

You got into real dangerous situations as a kid and you’re wondering how you lived through that

Your comfort characters all got it the worst or are dead

If your favourite is Zyglavis:

How are those high expectations treatin ya? 

You either want to get into medical, sciences, or law

When you were younger you got enrolled in extra classes (swimming, piano, ballet, etc)

Your parents encouraged creativity until you got older and they told you to choose a more “realistic” goal

Good grades = everything and you’ll pull all-nighters to finish tasks or assignments

Former gifted student 

The actual smart kid in class 

YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM/CONFIDENCE ISSUES

80s are not good enough for you or your parents

Overachiever for any reason 

Sleep? What is sleep?

A dom or a brat

You have strict parents or you have had pretty loose rules growing up

You had a lot of friends in grade school and now you have like 4 friends

You are no longer human, you’re just a walking husk of stress

If your favourite is Krioff:

You want to fuck one of Krioff’s family members

You have siblings

A pyromaniac or deathly afraid of fire

Commitment issues

You watch or ur a sports fan

You own an iPhone 6

You’ve ate forbidden items or you’ve thought about it (the fish tank pebbles, erasers, glass, slime, etc)

Everyone thinks you’re the awkward kid but no you’re just shy

You actually like the ocean waves

Once people get to know you, they got a whole thing coming for them

You either suck at driving or can’t drive

A great listener but you don’t feel like you give good advice

Conflict is a no no for you

You definitely had a glow up

You’ve befriended the seniors growing up

You either don’t like kids or you love them

You have a sweet tooth and everyone questions how you are not diabetic with the amount of sweets you’ve consumed

If your favourite is Aigonorus:

You’re either an insomniac or a hypersomniac. Whichever one, you don’t know how much sleep is enough sleep

You’re probably a sub

Commitment or abandonment issues

Desperate for validation and appreciation

touch/love/attention starved

You have a stuffed animal collection or you still have those childhood stuffed animals

You love the idea of love but you are not ready to deal with breakups

You wish you didn’t care but you care too much

Your aesthetic is cutecore

Probably into maid cat boys

Studio Ghibli or Sanrio stan

Comfort > style anyday

You only own sneakers nothing else

If your favourite is Partheno:

You’re definitely not into just guys 

You’re a drama kid and you are here for the tea whether it involves you or not

you have the receipts for everything

You were the one kid that played “family” or “house” every recess

no one knows where you get all your cute shit but it serves

have been suspected of witchcraft or considered the dark arts

Stole makeup from your fam as a kid and played with it

HIDE THE TRAUMA. HIDE THE PAST.

You already have a senior quote picked out

You’re either really horny or you just want to cry over how much you love so and so

“Why do men-”

You really want to own that Partheno doll in that one CG

Your most used social media app is Instagram or Snapchat

Your favourite demon brother from Obey Me is most likely Asmodeus 

If your favourite is Tauxolouve:

Your favourite KBTBB guy is either Baba or Mamo

You’re into music or theatre

Your ideal date is to go to an opera or a museum

You say you like/dislike something but end up changing ur mind later or when you try it out

In your opinion, the music nowadays is just not it

You recently found a receipt from Walmart for something you bought 5 months ago

Anniversaries are important

When making decisions, you pick the worst possible one

Your most expensive clothing items are your shoes or jewelry

You wish you could attend a ball and marry into royalty, like Cinderella

You like the idea of soulmates or string of fate 

Obviously or secretly insecure/self deprecating but you’ll raise all hell if your loved ones talk shit abt themselves

You want your partner to propose first

You like the underrated characters or your favourite characters are unappreciated

If your favourite is Karno you are:

You have childhood trauma, some of you are just not aware of it

You’re the parent of the group

You enjoy ships that have a mom/dad dynamic

Either you’re banned from the kitchen or you’re the one banning people from the kitchen

You were threated with the slipper or you threaten with the slipper

As a kid, you enjoyed Dora or Ni Hao Kai Lan

Your favourite trope is the found family trope

Either you’re an example to your family or you keep getting compared to other kids

An angel around the family but a chaotic bastard with others

You’re probably into some really kinky shit

You like Dangonronpa

Spiritual or religious

Probably had an imaginary friend 

You decided you were gonna turn your life around after reading/watching something and went back to the hot mess you were in 3 days

[thatasianstereotype]

Fuck. I’m Gay.

I’ve been reading a lot of ml salt fics lately (mainly @unmaskedagain which is a literal goldmine of saltiness). And getting into the Damienette ship. Marinette really does deserves better (Fuck Canon) but so does Adrien. He is not a “sidekick”. Chat Noir and Ladybug are partners = equals. So I decided why not write a fic where Adrien gets his own happy ending in the form of a grumpy assassin-turned-vigilante that loves animals more than people. 

Somewhat of a crack writing where creative liberties were definitely taken. 

.

.

.

Lila Rossi is a bitch and everyone knew it. Well, by everyone, Adrien means himself, his good-amazing-make-pastries-for-him friend Marinette, his maybe-not-really-sure friend Chloe and his-not-that-close-really-classmate Nathaniel. 

Yeah. It was a small number. 

But Lila is still a bitch. 

Anyway, Lila’s lies and manipulations have disturbed the status quo and not in a good way. She ended up making the majority of the class fawn over her like she was a perfect goddess and not a pompous-temperamental-hormonal teenager. Teenagers were prone to be gullible; he can understand his classmates being inclined to believe her. But this was utterly ridiculous (man, Chloe is rubbing off on him). No. You know what’s even more ridiculous? Ms. Bustier letting Lila get away with it. She doesn’t even stop the class mistreating Marinette who claimed she was a bully just because of you know who - Fucking Lila Rossi. The audacity of that bitch and her bitchy followers, am I right? 

Growing up he watched the tv shows and the animes. High schools always had their drama but he thought that was to get some plot going on. He didn’t think it was an actual thing that happens in real life. But he was proven wrong. Françoise Dupont High School had their drama and it was way worse than what he watched on screen. 

The worst part was that he couldn’t get away from Lila. Or he’ll be pulled from school (Fuck you Dad). He had to sit next to that bitch and listen to her drone on and on about things they both knew she didn’t do, about things she promised to do for her ever gullible followers friends. And couldn’t say anything against it if he wanted to stay in school. But even his discreet questioning didn’t do that much. It got some of the class to think something’s possibly fishy with her stories but not enough to think Lila was evil. So he just gave up. Because what was even the point? 

He was distancing himself from Alya and Nino. He couldn’t really be friends with people who thought Lila held the sun and moon. They didn’t hang out as much as they used to and he made excuses when they did invite him to stuff. Lately, he was making outrageous excuses - like he had to take his cat to the vet even though he didn’t have a cat - to see if they caught on. They didn’t. It was fun but he didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad about that. But feeling sad-depressed-pain over it was a bitch so he decided to take his victories as they come. 

Chloe had left the school earlier on. Her mom wanted to spend one-on-one time with her daughter (Yeah, Audrey is better at being a mother here). She was completely out of this drama mess. And Nathaniel kept his head down to not paint a target on himself. 

His only consolation and ally in this whole mess was Marinette. His darling angel. His sunshine incarnate. His own goddess (not like that bitch Lila let’s get one thing straight). 

When he was feeling overwhelmed (which was a lot), he spent it at her house. They spent it discussing fashion, trash talking Liar-la and the sheep class, playing video games, and making/eating the best baked goods in all of Paris. If he wasn’t at his photo shoots or at school, he was at her house. And with how often they spent time with each other, it wasn’t long before they accidentally revealed their alter egos to each other. 

(The class’ Everyday Ladybug was actually Ladybug. How amazing is that! Isn’t Marinette the absolute coolest?!) 

Since they outed themselves to each other, they had to give up their miraculous. And new heroes had to be chosen. As the guardian, Marinette decided to give the Ladybug miraculous to herself and the Cat one to Adrien. And make them the superheros of Paris. 

(Just when he thought that Marinette couldn’t get any cooler) 

They both collectively decided that being friends were for the best and put away their obsession crush over the other far far away. Now they were best friends-almost siblings. Oh who was he kidding? He was an honorary Dupain-Cheng. Marinette and her parents said so. And who was he to deny the goddess? 

All was well. 

Until he met this gorgeous boy with raven black hair and piercing green eyes that made him question everything in life. 

Like fuck. His life wasn’t hard enough already? 

.

It was a slow patrol. Just stopped a few petty crimes. No akuma tonight. He wasn’t really expecting much to happen.

Mari said patrolling regularly gives citizens a sense of security and it helps if one of them were on scene if an akuma does appear. 

He didn’t mind. He loved running on the rooftops and feeling the wind in his face. After some time, he stopped and stood on top of one of the tallest buildings. Just soaking the view. The peace and serenity of it all. Seeing the glowing lights of his beloved city. Seeing the Eiffel Tower standing tall and proud. 

(Forget school. Forget Liar-la and her hoard of bitches) 

This was his city. This was why he fights Hawk Moth with Ladybug. They had something precious to protect. 

He was done patrolling the regular routes and all his schoolwork was already finished. He could go to sleep but he didn’t feel that tired. And he really didn’t want to go back home. Mari shared her theory on his dad being Hawk Moth. She had really good reasons and a plethora of proof. If they could switch miraculous, why couldn’t he and Mayura - most likely Nathalie? Which would explain how Gabriel got akumatized.

After all her support with dealing with Lila, he was way more inclined to believe her even without the evidence. But those things just made him more wary of his dad. And he wasn’t too stoked on spending more time than what he can get away with with the guy. Because his dad being Hawk Moth explains why he wants Lila (his strongest supporter - Chameleon and Oni-chan, anyone?) close and makes Adrien play nice with her. And anyone who enables Lila’s bitchiness is on his enemy list. 

Anyway, he was out here to enjoy the good mood not think about evil bitches and evil dads. So he sat himself down and enjoyed the sights. It was more calming than you would think. 

He heard cars blaring and even a dog barking. The slight breeze felt nice. The moon was pretty bright tonight. The stars too. There was a lone couple walking through the park. There was also another teen in black running on rooftops a few buildings away. 

Wait. 

What? 

He blinked and looked again. Huh, there was another teen in black running on rooftops. And it was not a hallucination. 

What the actual fuck?

He was instantly on his feet, baton already in hand as he raced across the roof to reach said stranger. 

“Hey!” 

But because he was the lucky owner of the unlucky miraculous, the moment he said that, the guy was about to jump off a building to presumably roll onto the next one like Chat was watching him do beforehand. But his call made him lose focus and Chat watched horrified as the guy slipped and started falling into the alley. 

Oh fuck! Mari was going to fucking kill this dumbass kitty!

He hoped to everything that Mari thinks is holy that he makes it in time. Extending his baton, he used it as a huge Pogo stick to basically catapult himself towards the stranger and wrapped his arms around him as he braced himself for the full weight of hitting the gravel at this height and speed. But he wasn’t that that concerned. His suit protected him from the majority of the injuries that would’ve occurred if he wasn’t wearing it. It hurt but it isn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Remember earlier? He takes his victories as they come. 

This was not the smartest of ideas, he’ll admit. Mari had the brains to be honest. But it wasn’t bad if he say so. And he does say so. 

He rolled over and immediately looked over the stranger that was remarkably unharmed in this whole mess. 

And oh.

Oh.

The stranger was taller than he was with a lithe and lean frame. He had raven black hair that complimented his tanned skin and gorgeous green eyes that pierced through him, making his heart do funny things. 

He was not expecting him to look as hot as he did. He wore a simply black t-shirt and jeans but he looked like a fucking Adonis, what the fuck.  Even the moon shone down on him, highlighting his handsome features even more.  

He shook himself of those thoughts and focused on what was more important. “I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” 

He was rudely pushed away, but he didn’t take offense. He did cause the guy to fall after all. 

“Do not touch me.” (What kind of accent is that?) “I’m fine. You are truly a moronic imbecile of the highest accord to yell like that. And what are you even supposed to be? Some kind of knock-off Catwoman?” 

At that, Chat looked at Hot-And-Sexy weird. “Are you new here? I’m the superhero Chat Noir. I protect Paris with Ladybug.”

“You’re joking.”

“I know I come off as the goofy hero because I make purr-fect puns all the time but I’m not joking about this.” 

He took out his phone to show the foreign (since he’s obviously not a Parisian) stranger the akuma attacks and Ladybug and Chat Noir being a dynamic duo, saving Paris and beating Hawk Moth. Ok, he showed the stranger a lot of stuff. Sue him. He gets to brag about his Princess. And himself too.

“I never heard about this before.” Hot-And-Sexy (he has got to come up with a better name) said afterward. “3 years this has been going on? Why didn’t you ask for help from the Justice League or other superheros?” 

Chat shrugged. “We tried. But they said we’re obviously pulling a prank and making this all up. So we stopped asking for help.”

For some reason this made Hot-And-Sexy angry. “They ignored your plea for help and left you to fight for yourselves?”

“Pretty much, yea.” 

“You and Ladybug are children.” 

“Excuse me? Are you doubting our ability to protect our city?" He was not apologetic at the sharp edge his voice took. Forget looking hot. How dare he? The audacity really. 

Hot-And-Sexy shook his head. “I’m not. I know some child superheroes who are adequate at their jobs and a few who are remarkable like Robin in Gotham. But the majority of them had adult mentors to guide them. From what you’ve shown me, you and Ladybug had no one. You were left alone to fend for yourself with essentially no help.” 

He never thought of it that way. But hearing it like that made him think: Fuck Adults Who Chose Children to Fight Their War For Them and Fuck Hawk Moth For Putting Them In This Position In The First Place. 

You know what. Just to clear all his bases - Fuck Everyone But The Dupain-Chengs. 

Chat couldn’t help but shrug, not quite knowing what to say to that. “Life is a bitch, I’ve come to find out. But enough of that. Why were you running on rooftops anyway?”

“It calms me down.”

Relatable. 

“Is...Is your tail moving?” 

“Huh?” He looked behind him to see his tail was indeed moving lazily. “Yeah. I’m called Chat Noir for a reason.”

“May I touch them?” Chat was used to people (usually kids) pulling on his tail to see if it was real (It was). And it really hurts because they usually rough. Not that he blames them. Kids don’t know any better. Still, he usually says no when people ask. 

But Hot-And-Sexy had such a sincere expression that he said yes. To his surprise and delight, Hot-And-Sexy was extremely gentle (Can this guy be anymore perfect?) and it felt nice to be petted like that. Curse his touch-starvation (again Fuck you Dad).

Hot-And-Sexy was apparently fascinated by his ears and tail. 

“Are you a meta?” He noticed how Hot-And-Sexy’s voice turned softer and fonder (or was he imagining that?).

“Nah. I’m fully human. I just got powers to transform into this.” He looked down at his phone seeing that the time was nearing 2 am.

“Have you suffered any injuries from your stupid stunt?” 

“Hmm?” Chat looked back at him before gesturing to his body. “Don’t worry. I may not look like it but I can take it.”

He can practically feel Hot-And-Sexy rolling his eyes. “What an utter dolt.” 

But there wasn’t any heat behind it so he didn’t take it to heart. 

“Thanks, babe.” 

“That was an insult.”

“And I’m taking it like a compliment.”

Chat stood up and stretched his limbs. Hot-And-Sexy doing the same but dusting off his clothes instead.

“So, uh, need any help getting home?”

“I am perfectly capable of finding my own way, thanks.” 

“Ok. Have a nice night.” He was about to leave when he was caught off guard by Hot-And-Sexy staring at him for a good few seconds, making his limbs freeze in place at the heavy attention.

Before he said. “You should try contacting the Batfamily in Gotham about Hawk Moth. They’re used to dealing with weird things. I’m sure they won’t turn you or Ladybug away.” 

Chat was a bit distracted by how intensely those green eyes focused on him, making his heart beat faster and his cheeks turn a vibrant red. 

He was so screwed. 

He used his baton to shoot himself up so he can run on rooftops, hurrying to the Dupain-Cheng bakery. 

.

“Mari! I think I’m gay!”

“It’s 2 in the morning, Chaton. Go to sleep and we’ll talk about it in the morning.” 

.

After a good night’s rest (and thank everything that was right in the world that today was a weekend), Adrien told Mari all about Hot-And-Sexy. And yes, he did call the stranger that out loud. His everything-that-actually-matters sister simply took it in stride after giggling a bit. They spent the majority of the day discussing emotions and everything that came with that bundle. 

Before he finally came to a conclusion. 

He is definitely gay (He liked girls but not like like them). And most definitely had a crush on Hot-And-Sexy with the pretty green eyes. 

Good news: He is no longer having a sexuality crisis. 

Bad news: He is going through an emotional crisis. 

Like dealing with these feelings that is making his stomach flip flop over and over again? The only one he ever had to deal with was the one he had on Ladybug and that (he talked with Mari about it months before. She was amazing with these emotional matters) was more of a hero-worship crush than anything really romantic. 

And his crush on Hot-And-Sexy was so much more. 

.

So it’s been about 2 weeks since he encountered Hot-And-Sexy. And he still haven’t figured out what else to call him. But the nickname was growing on him. 

(He also told Mari about asking the Batfam for help but she was a bit apprehensive after the disastrous attempts of convincing the Justice League. He shrugged, trusting her opinion and left it at that) 

Anyway, Lila was being her usual bitchy self. Father was being non-existent like always. Mari was his only source of sanity at school. And Hawk Moth was being a bitch. 

Because of course, the day before they have a huge test, he decides to akumatize someone (in this case, a businessman who was really unhappy with getting fired) and cut in on study time. And this akuma took a while to defeat. Guess he drew a lot of strength from his burning hatred of the failings of the corporate world. 

And just yesterday, a teenager who was upset at being grounded got akumatized and terrorized the city for 3 hours before Ladybug could purify her. It did however confirmed her fears. Hawk Moth was getting stronger. It took longer to defeat his monsters. They needed to find him and ended this fast. 

Adrien landed on Mari’s balcony and slipped in her room, crashing on her big comfy bed, de-transforming on the spot. Plagg sleepily floating and laying next to him on the pillow. He was so tired. And photo shoots and school drama were not helping things.

.

For the record, he was not at all expecting to see Hot-And-Sexy in a bookstore of all places. 

He was so engrossed in looking through the latest Boku no Hero Academia manga (can’t wait until Season 5 comes out) that when someone touched his shoulder, he was not proud to admit he squeaked a bit.

He turned around and his eyes widened his surprise. 

“Hot-And-Sexy!” 

It was indeed the Adonis Adrien had a huge crush on. Today he was wearing a white t-shirt paired with a blue denim jacket and black ripped jeans. Wow. He really can make anything look hot.

No. Bad Adrien. Don’t let him know you actually have a crush on him.

And oh fuck. Hot-And-Sexy was staring at the blonde and Adrien tried not to let himself get flustered. He has a very intense stare. For all he knew, Hot-And-Sexy stares at everyone like that.

Calm the fuck down, heart. You too brain.

He raised a handsome eyebrow in amusement. “Excuse me?”

Adrien felt himself burn with embarrassment, his face turning bright scarlet. No wonder he was fit for the unlucky miraculous or was this just a side-effect? Note to self, ask Mari about this later. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t get your name last time. And I just started calling you that in my head. Cause you’re really hot and you have pretty eyes.”

Fuck mouth! Why won’t you stop talking! Please for the love of everything that makes Mari a BAMF stop. Stop digging further into the hole of embarrassment! Abort mission! Abort!

“When did we meet?”

At that, he blink a few times. Oh fuck. He was not Superhero Chat Noir. He was Civilian Adrien Agreste. Mari was definitely murdering his dumbass tonight. Lightning please strike him down right now. Where was an unlucky lightning strike when you need it?

After a few seconds of his horrified silence, Hot-And-Sexy chuckled (he had such a nice laugh). “You are extremely lucky I already figured out your alter ego beforehand, Chaton.”

Before Adrien could even unwrap that statement, he held out a hand and had a dangerously sexy smirk on his face. “My name is Damian Wayne. Would you care to get a cup of coffee with me?”

And Adrien nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak. He can deal with the superhero thing later when he can think straight (hah!) and is not distracted by Damian’s beautiful smile and alluring green eyes and perfect everything.

.

Guess what?

Ya Boi got game.

(At least, he likes to think he does)

After a successful coffee date (was it a date? Please let it be a date), they exchanged numbers (cue internal squealing) and met up a few times afterward to hang out.

Apparently, Dami was here on business to deal with something for Wayne Enterprises.

“Aren’t you 17?”

“Father believes in preparing us when we’re young.”

Dami was amazingly sweet. Arrogant and pretentious with a stick up his ass but sweet. He treats stray animals with such reverence that Adrien’s heart melt every time he sees it.

It was an added bonus when Damian scorned Lila with cruel words and disgusted looks when she tried to cut in Adrien and Dami’s date(?)/meetup(?)/spending-time-together event.

She cried and whined afterwards and Adrien has to endure his father’s lecture. But it was totally worth it.

Oh yeah. Mari was not pleased that he accidentally outed himself to a civilian. But nothing that a couple of sad kitty eyes can’t fix.

“You are so lucky you’re cute, kitty-cat.” Mari grumbled but she was smiling. “I just need to have a good talk with him on the importance of secrecy.”

.

That day Damian Wayne learned to fear a certain Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

.

It was 2 weeks later when Adrien woke up to a package next to his futon in Mari’s room. When he opened it, he saw the Butterfly and Peacock miraculous inside.

There was a card beneath it. And in beautiful cursive script read: 

I dearly hope you enjoy my courting gift, mon amour. Allow me the honor to formally ask you out on a date. I look forward to hearing favorably from you soon.

- Damian Wayne

He couldn’t believe it.

“Mari! Damian likes me back!”

“Chaton, I swear. It is 2 in the morning.”

Next

[ac3id]

resilience [18+]

pairings: shigaraki tomura x female! reader 

summary: if you’re updated w/ the manga u prolly know shigaraki is now all beefed up phew. shigaraki stans stay winning. so here’s a fic where our struggling pro hero y/n wants to become stronger but working hard iisn’t working so she runs to shigaraki, the king of the underworld, to give her a quirk. shigaraki takes this as the perfect opportunity to teach a scum hero hero her place. 

warnings: dubcon-ish, shiggy is really mean, dumbification, size kink nasty nasty 

word count: 4k+ 

masterlist

From a young age, everyone around you had high hopes for you. Your parents wanted you to make them proud, your teachers wanted you to give your hundred percent always. Your friends admired you, they dreamed of being you. You were the golden child. Loved by everyone so, when you developed your quirk no one was shocked to learn that it was one of the strongest quirks out there.

Your parent’s dreams for you soared even higher and soon everyone was complimenting you and deeming how amazing you’d do as a Pro-Hero and you listened to them. You trained your entire childhood in hopes of becoming the No. 1 Hero, even got into a known Hero school, and graduated on top of your class. You thought you were invincible until you started your career as a Pro. 

It was hard. It was so much harder than you had expected. Apparently, your will to save citizens wasn’t enough to make you a legitimate Hero to the eyes of the public. Even if you worked your ass off it wasn’t enough. Weaker and useless Heroes whose only specialty was steering drama with others would sweep in at the last minute and take your victory as theirs’. 

You wanted to speak up about this but your agent had said you’d go nowhere; those Heroes had been in the business longer. No one would have taken your side, you were just a rookie. If you wanted to be admired, you had to also use cheap tricks and form connections with names. 

At first, you refused. It went against your moral code but soon after you started receiving angry phone calls from your peers; them explaining how embarrassing it was that no one even knew who you were, your mind quickly changed. Next thing, you are just like the others using cheap tricks working on your public image rather than actual Hero work. You thought finally it’d work and it did! After a few months, you were under the Top 30 Heroes list. The “hard” work had paid off now, it was only way upwards to the No.1 but you found yourself not rising the ladder. You were stuck in the Top 30. Nothing upwards but other Heroes were beating your position, it was all falling over again. You needed to do something to save yourself.

That’s when you heard about him. A man who granted people power, the King of the Underground. He acted like the Devil himself. Granting your desire for a price. People talked about him in hushed whispers, they acted if he did not exist but he did. He was very much there. His men had been terrorizing the country for so long; his men were hardest to fight. 

You thought about it. You could reach him and ask him for power, after all, you could do anything to be the No. 1 Hero. You couldn’t afford to disappoint the people who had supported you, your entire lives even deep down you knew the only reason everyone- anyone talked to you was for their own selfish reasons but that was okay. They were the only people you had.

So you rolled the dice and made up your mind to meet the Mad King. Shigaraki Tomura.

The hallway was run down and dimly lit; you watched your step as you moved forward not wanting to step over a dead rat or lizard. You were told that you’d see Shigaraki if you walked through it. Your heart beats faster with each step you take; the hallway is awfully quiet excluding the sounds of rats chattering away in the distance. 

Meeting him was not easy, getting this far had been hell. You had to make many calls and sit through many sleepless nights just to confirm the rumor all while making it look like you weren’t investigating Shigaraki Tomura behind their backs. You had gone through a great deal of trouble to make sure your identity was kept hidden from the Government. 

As you took the last turn you were met with a shut door. You latched on the handle, twisting it and pushing the door open. It was a meeting room. A long table stood in the room chairs all empty beside the very center. 

A man sat there, his legs propped up on the table resting over papers and pens dressed in an expensive suit, his long white hair scanned his face. A severed hand rested on his face red, angry eyes gleaming from the gaps of the fingers. Upon seeing to enter the room he crossed his hands over his chest, muscles bulging- almost ripping the sleeves open. He looks at you finally acknowledging your presence; glaring from behind the hand his gaze sends a shiver down your spine. You stand completely captivated and amazed yet scared under the presence of Shigaraki Tomura. 

You stand there frozen unable to move. You never thought you’d ever meet the most wanted man in japan like this: dressed in nothing but a t- shirt and jeans, unarmed and vulnerable 

 His harsh voice cuts through the air as he glares at you. 

“Well?” he asks and you walk inside the room. You stand there awkwardly, wondering whether you should take a seat or not, “Am I supposed to sit down too? Might as well ask if I can kiss your feet?” He snarls, the sarcastic comment leaving his tongue without any hesitance. 

He’s quite mean.

You mumble a quiet apology as you sit yourself a few chairs away from him- you’d like to keep your distance from this dangerous man, biting your lip you think of how you should start the conversation but Shigaraki is impatient. He groans in amusement and slams his feet on the table, flying the papers 

“What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Want. Why. Are. You. Here.”  His tone was harsh, filled with irritation. “I am here for the quirk.” Shigaraki’s brow twitches, he stares at you with confusion basking in his eyes. 

“Quirk?” he pauses tilting his head up facing the ceiling, his hand goes to scratch at his neck; breaking the skin. While he thinks to himself about what you could possibly mean, your mind starts thinking about in all the ways this scenario could work out. Maybe he’d give you the quirk and let you like you were promised, only come back when he needed your assistance in some task. To be honest, you weren’t quite ready to face that day yet. Second, he could kill you right here, right now for just thinking about something so obnoxious. And that’s about it. Those were the only two scenarios you could think of. You also thought of catching him off guard and bringing him back to the Hero Commission but you also knew he was way stronger than you. You silently prayed that you’d get out of this alive and well. 

For a second, you thought Shigaraki had fallen asleep. He was too quiet and the hand on his face did not help in distinguishing whether he was sleeping or not. 

“Shigaraki,” you called and he turns his face back to you, “You’re that fucking Hero.” he spits with disgust. “You want a fucking quirk right? I was told I’ve got an appointment with some scum Hero who wants to get stronger.” You did not pay attention to his belittling. You had gone through much worse hate and had survived. 

“Yes, now, would you please tell me how I can get one.” you added the ‘please’ mockingly, it seemed to affect the villain.

“I don’t help pigs like you.” 

You almost rolled your eyes, there was more convincing to do and you did not want to talk- hell- breathe the same air as this man but you couldn’t return home alone. You had to endure it. You took a deep breath and calmed yourself down, getting ready for a long night. 

“I couldn’t care less what you think about me. I was promised a deal and I expect you to keep your end of the bargain up.” you sighed, “Just for walking through that door and sitting here I had to pay a lot out of my pocket. I’m not leaving until you give it to me.” Your voice was sturdy and rigid. Exerting confidence, for a moment you felt strong. Talking back to a wanted villain like him gave you a false sense power. He sat silently, lost in thought again. 

“You’re gonna be here a while? That’s bothersome. But….you do know that I can just kill you and leave? Make it easier for both of us.” he finished. Anger surged through your veins as you decided against choking him to death. “Shigaraki. Please.” you begged, Godamnit. As much as you wanted to rival his hate towards you, you were smart and knew that you couldn’t afford to make any rash decision now because a single touch from him could mean game over for you. “You’re begging now?” He scoffed, “Okay, tell me why you want it so bad.” You bite your lip deciding whether you should go along with his idle chit-chat. 

“Listen. I really need it. I’m stuck in a useless rank and the walls keep closing in. I don’t disappoint the people around me. It’s really important to me. I don’t expect you to understand but- shit if you want me to beg I will. For that power, I’d do anything.” 

An eerie silence filled the room, Shigaraki remained quiet. He thought about what he could want from you. There was nothing, you were useless to him- a waste of time really. He should just decay you and leave. That would be the right thing to do but then again, the way you looked at him with desperation in your eyes stirred something in him. Maybe it was the unconscious acceptance you held knowing that he is in charge. The power imbalance was starting to get him going. He could imagine you wrapping your pretty, plump lips around his fat cock while he used your throat as he pleased. He was a little tired after all. Maybe he’d even give you a weak quirk and let you off to do your worthless heroics. 

“So you’d really do anything?” He was intrigued. You didn’t want to say yes because you knew he’d make you do something horrible, something you could never really recover from. You could see it in his eyes but in the end, you knew. 

“Yes. Anything,”

He quickly lifted the severed hand from his face and placed it gently on the table, you genuinely wanted to cry. His lips curled at the corner, his lips split into a menacing smile. It was evil, it was dangerous yet it was the calm before the storm. The crazed smile only made you aware about how much you were going to regret this decision. It made you sick.

“Sexual favors. If you want this power, make me cum.”

Your eyes widen in shock, your mouth agape as you process his words. What? 

“You can’t be serious.” your voice was low, your heartbeat quickened and you felt your hands grow cold. Anger and confusion masked your consciousness. 

“I’m waiting.” he sang, his shrill voice sending shivers down your spine. He was joking, right? No way was he was actually expecting you to do it. Right?  He did not say another word instead pulled his feet off the table and slammed them to the floor. He spread his legs and patted his right thigh, looking directly at you with a smile, 

“you’re joking.” you commented. Shigaraki stopped smiling, his head lowered, bangs falling over his eyes; you could not see the face he was making. He clicked his tongue and the ‘tch’ sound resonating in the room, “You think I’m joking?” he asked, his voice now filled with annoyance. You did not answer; you did not what to say. You were beginning to think he was not messing with you, and that he actually wanted you to perform that horrendous act. 

His head turned back to you, his eyes spiraled into angry slits, vermilion orbs gleaming under the well-lit room displaying grim intentions. You knew he was serious. 

You took a deep breath, you knew the price of your dreams was high; the sacrifices you had to make: colossal. But right now, you were given a chance to obtain power- grow stronger to get a step closer to your goal but at what cost? If you, right now, gave yourself up to this notorious villain, what would you lose? Dignity? Pride? You had lost all of that the second you had entered the room. 

Nothing was left to lose. From all the horrendous things he coils have asked you to do, you should be glad all he wanted was some pussy.

You swallowed nervously as you got up from the chair moving towards him in brief, calculated steps. You stood in front of him, his knee at level with your crotch; he looks up at you and smirks. His knee jerks forward, pushing through your thighs and grinding up against your clothed cunt. You gasp in surprise, almost walking away from him. Your fists clench by your side and try to surpass any sounds from passing; the movement of your panties rubbing on your clit sends jolts of pleasure throughout your body. You bite your lower lip, glaring down at him as he continues to aggressively grind his knee on your cunt, your mouth falling agape as the sensations get too overwhelming and your climax starts building. A whine falls from your lips when it stops. Shigaraki abruptly withdraws his knee from your thighs, a wet spot forming on the expensive fabric of his pants. He looks at you and smirks, 

“Hero Slut.” he comments, making your blood boil, you try to retort but his fingers inch towards your hips, fingers pulling at the waistband of your jeans. 

“Take it off.” you hesitate for a moment, “take it off or I’ll dust It.” he threatens, you did not want to walk out the room half naked. You quickly tugged your jeans down, it pooled around your ankles. Shigaraki’s eyes never left your lower body, his eyes stayed glued to your pussy, almost drooling at the sight black and white striped panties. Feeling embarrassed under his predatory gaze, you push your hands forward, covering yourself making Shigaraki frown. He pushes your hands away and replaces them with his own. His fingers rub at your clit through your panties making you writhe in pleasure, you feel yourself get wet, a dark spot starting to form on your panties. Shigaraki glides his finger till your hole and drives them to your hips pulling at the waistband of the fabric and letting it hit your skin with a snap, you gasp. “You like that?” he asks, smirking and repeating the action, “Take this off too.” he finishes. 

He leans back in his seat spreading his legs while he watches you strip out of your panties, his eyes a shade darker clouded with lust. 

“You look better now.” his voice is low and condescending as he pulls you down to straddle his lap. His hands carefully moving up and down your torso, under your shirt, fingers touching the underside of your bra. He guides one of his hands to your hip, and claps around it pressing hard enough for a flash of pain to spark along the bone as he keeps you firmly pinned on his thigh. Gripping one of your thighs firmly, he restrains you from pressing them together. He runs a palm along the inside of your thighs in fascination, you feel yourself get worked up embarrassingly fast, “Look at you,” he barks, a crazed smile blooming on his face. 

“You’re all neglected. How often do you loosen up, whore?” His slender fingers trail downwards to your cunt, he runs a slender finger painfully slowly over your folds, buries it inside your hole moving it around and curling the digit inside you before withdrawing. His eyes scan your face as his thumb strokes down on your clit. Your eyes shut close as you bit your lower lip- trying your best to surpass moans which might further entice him. Your body jerks up with need as you gasp out, your hands balling into fists, choked mewls flow from the back of your throat, “I’m gonna fuck you stupid.” he growls 

“N-no.” 

Shigaraki chooses to ignore you as his hand grips the back of your head, pulling you closer towards him before pushing his lips against yours’ while the other hand reaches behind you, wandering across your ass, grabbing a firm hold of the soft flesh. He pulls away from the kiss and both you regain your breath, taking in as much as you can. Shigaraki leans in, you think he’s going to kiss you but instead, his lips hover over your ear. You feel his warm breath tickling your ear as he whispers in a raspy, broken voice. 

“If you want this power so bad,—" your breath hitched as he pushes another finger in your small cunt, “—grind that worthless cunt on my thigh.” 

You look down at him with half-lidded eyes zooming on his cock straining through his pants. He catches you staring. His eyes light up with amusement, “You want that too, huh? You’re just a cock hungry whore after all. Its fine, you all are,” He pulls his fingers out of your dripping hole and presses them against your lips. 

“Open up,” he commands. You hesitate for a moment but eventually, you obey. You open your mouth, only slightly yet he aggressively shoves his middle and pointer finger into your mouth. “I don’t wanna feel any teeth.” you pucker your lips around his finger, sucking his digits into your mouth. Your tongue swirls around his fingers, tasting yourself around him. Shigaraki sighs, “Laughable isn’t it?” he begins, “Do your Hero friends know how much of a pathetic slut you are? I bet they’d love you see you like: half-naked, sitting on Japan’s most wanted criminals lap, begging to be fucked?” He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, a ‘pop’ sound reverberating in the room. He pats your thigh, “Come on. If you please me good enough I might even give you my dick.” 

The realization hits you. Shigaraki wasn’t doing this entirely for his pleasure. He just wants to humiliate you, see you cry, call you names- anything to make you leave this place broken. A fair price.

A smug smirk reaches his face yet again as he watches you shift around his lap, straddling his left thigh. You put your arms cautiously around his shoulders for support, grounding your sensitive bundle of nerves down against his thigh, exhaling as the muscle rubbed against your clit in the best possible way. A tight coil forms in your lower abdomen as you frantically grind down, pleasurable sensations fogging your mind. His hands are still on your hips as you roll your hips in brisk circles against his thigh as you chase your climax, your mouth falls open at the sharp pleasure shooting through your body as you grind down faster, your mind grows hazy. Thoughts jumbled- and non-existent, only focusing on the rocking of your hips back and forth against his thigh. He occasionally flexes the muscle to intensify the feeling of your approaching orgasm, you’ve barely even had any stimulation and you’re already so close. You tug on your lower lip between your teeth, eyes skewered shut as you feel your orgasm building up, seconds away from erupting, and washing over your entire body. “Is the whore close?” Shigaraki speaks, “Looks like you I didn’t even have to fuck you stupid. You’re humping my leg like a bitch in heat. You’re already stupid. This is the real you. You just pretend- act as a functional member of this rotten society but deep down, you’re just a slut begging for a big cock to stuff her holes. Am I right?”  

“Shigaraki Tomura. Fuck you.” you manage to call out in between your moans. 

A blush creeps onto his face and his cock strains in his pants, the print now louder, and his cock begging to be freed. One of his hands leaves your hips and starts palming his cock through the fabric, he lets out a breathy moan as he examines your face: twisted in pleasure yet the look of hate and disgust still linger. Your displease from this entire scenario riles him up, what a disgusting man he is. 

He shifts his gaze from your face to your tits bouncing along the rhythm every thrust ; his hands roam underneath your shirt stroking your soft stomach and move to grope your tits through your bra. He kneads your breast through your bra before capturing it with all five of his fingers and changing it into specks of dust. Your shirt receives the same treatment and you whine. You sit there naked, grinding on his thigh while he is still dressed, calm and collected save for the bright pink blush on his cheeks. Sweat drips down from your forehead and a pink hue rests on your cheek. You look like a mess. 

“You look pathetic right now, you know?” he speaks. You know, you can imagine and you hate it very much. 

A moan escapes his lips; breathing heavily into your ear- he leaves tainted comments. Groaning occasionally as his lips find its way to kiss and suck bruises at your neckline, sinking his teeth and biting down, nipping on your skin leaving marks on your smooth skin all the while his hands violate your breast, greedily groping and kneading the sensitive mounds, rolling your nipples between his fingers, and harshly tweaking and tugging at them- your eyes roll back into the back of your skull, relishing in the pain.

His cock was straining in his pants; you could feel it poking against your thigh. He moves a hand to hastily unbutton and unzip the confinements of his pants, his dick hard against the fabric of his boxers. A wet stop forming at the tip.

He doesn't hesitate to shove his hands into his boxers, groaning and bucking his hips into his hand as he pulls his cock out. His cock springs upwards. It stands tall and hard yearning with need. Pre-cum spills out his leaking tip, red and angry,demanding relief. You stare at it, marveling the size of his girthy cock. You can tell by looking- he’s too big. It was going to be a tight fit. 

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to stare?” 

“It’s too big.” 

“So?” he asks, annoyance filling his voice as he feels himself get more riled up, “More prep-” you’re still grinding your pussy on his thigh, you try telling him how much you needed him to stretch you out before burying his ridiculously big cock in your tiny, pathetic, little cunt.  “Uh h pleaseee……....It will hurt otherwise.” His ears perk up at your shameless little confession. “It will hurt?” The obscene smile made its way back to his face and you regretted saying so. 

“It better hurt.” 

Shigaraki stands up to his full height, towering over you. You stumble and your hips hit the table behind you. You seriously looked like nothing compared to him. His shoulders broader and rigid, his arms buff and robust. Any hopes you even had in defeating him vanishes away into the air as he turns you around and bends you over the table. 

Papers scatter and fall to the ground, your breasts press against the cold wood and he captures both your hands holding them behind your back in one hand. His other smack your ass making you squirm, “Consider yourself lucky.” he groans, his cock lining up with your cunt, “I don’t fuck every common whore I see.”  His words sting and he pushes past your little hole, tearing it up, tears start to prick at the corner of your eyes. You sniff, “It hurts.” Shigaraki ignores you, lost in the way your small pussy gobbles up his fat cock inch by inch. “Shut up. It'll get better soon enough.” he speaks when he gets annoyed by your little grunts of discomfort. He doesn’t give you time to adjust as he bottoms out, stretching your pussy open. “There. It’s all in,” he spanks your ass making you wail out. 

The stretch burns but you soon feel yourself get wetter adjusting to his size. He starts thrusting his cock into you, using your pussy as his personal cocksleeve. He’s mean with it. He goes rough and fast, pushing his cock all the way till your hilt until his tip kisses your cervix. He laughs at how pathetically you whine, you plead for him to slow down but he doesn’t listen. He pulls you up to his chest by your hair, biting aggressively on your neck, whispering perverted remarks in your ear. He plays with you tits, rolling, pinching and tugging on your nipples. His hands are all over you, except where you need it the most- your clit. The hardened nub begs for attention, burning in need to be touched and played with yet he pays no mind to it choosing to watch you suffer in agony instead. 

“Pheweaze.” you beg, your tongue lolling out of your mouth. He catches the pink flesh between his fingers, petting it making it impossible for you to talk. “What’s that? What did you say? I couldn’t catch it.” He teases, pretending he doesn’t know what you need. He finally pulls his finger out of your mouth, still thrusting his cock into your cunt, “Pheleaseeee e touch my clliit. I need it.”  Finally, you manage to say a complete sentence. You embrace yourself in hopes of Shigaraki finally touching you but instead he chuckles, “Is that so? Is that what you need? I thought you wanted a quirk?” You cry out in frustration. Shigaraki laughs, his shrill laugh masking the lewd sounds of skin slapping against each other. He thinks for a while, looking at you de-flowered, broken to the point where you couldn’t even form sentences properly, he smirks to himself. He’s won.

His fingers snake down to your clit rubbing it avidly. You sigh as you finally feel proper stimulation. Soon enough your loud moans of pleasure fill the empty room and you feel yourself tighten around Shigaraki, “I feel that, your slutty little cunt is squeezing me. You are close, aren’t you?” 

Your moans quickly turn into pants as you let out a silent scream while you cream around Shgaraki’s cock, “You came, bitch?” he asks but you just whimper, your body still writhing with the intensity of the orgasm, “Ugh. Hero Slut.” His thrust gets sloppier, you can feel he’s close by the way his cock twitches inside of you. Next you know- you feel- is hot spurts of cum shooting inside of you, painting your insides white. 

You plop down on the table beneath you, your body exhausted. He pulls out of you and you quickly turn your head back to him, “The quirk..” you meekly ask. “Messy little slut,” he murmurs, ignoring you. “Makes me wanna mess you up even more.”

“Tomura Shigaraki. The quirk.” 

He hummed. “So you plan to go back and pretend you are something more than a worthless slut?-” 

“Tomura. The fucking Quirk.” you weren’t in the mood for any of his shit now, “Jeez fine. If you want the quirk so bad, here, have it. Clean it up well.” He’s motioning to his half-erect cock covered with his cum and your juices. “What the fuck.” You ask, getting up standing to your full height. Even though you were much shorter to him ( and very much naked ) you still wanted to show him that you could put up a fight. 

“I give the quirks. If you want it, you’ll need to ingest my DNA. And also, didn’t I say I’m gonna come on your pretty face?” Your eyes dart up to focus on Shigaraki's face – and shame washes over you as you witness his sinister look. He pushes you down on his knees and you come in level with his cock. 

 “Fuck you,” you stutter out, still trying to seem like you have any power, like you’re the one in charge.

He laughs, “Oh, I just did, sweetheart.”

feedback is greatly appreciated <3

<taglist!!dm us if ya wanna get added or removed !!!>

@mylovelyreblogs @amahzing004​​ @thoughtfulpandazine2​​ @the-one-who-ate-god​​ @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love​​   @annimalq​​ @reader-stash​​ @rcjackie​​ @leeladebris​​ @expn​​ @vocaloidinlove​​ @edgycactus​​ @neon-tries-writing​​ @shiggydiggydicked​​ @yandereguysgalsandmonsterpals​​ @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa​​ @chxrryvibes​​ @yanderesmemory​​ @purple-rabanito​​ @amajikistan99​​ @the-grimm-writer​​ @n4dhii​​ @imkumichan​​  @akura-ous-lady​​ @dabicakes​​ @leeknowstoomuch​​ @nereida19​​ @sahrafinee​​ @uwubba​​ @anime-girl-nikki​​ @rekoii​​ @badtimechara​​ @peachyashell​​ @weirdr-artiest​​ @prince-zukohere​​ @deliciousstar​​ @murderfesto​​  @mltcp  @alunafort​​  @mrsllawliet​​  @supernaturaldreamergirl1130​​  @hawkgirl27845​​  @fannegirl