#the donuts kissing was my favorite thing to draw

[ebhutchins]

"Good morning."

[hey-august]

I'll Be Your Whatever - Story Hiatus

Description: Life is full of all sorts of characters - some who come and go, and others that stay. After propelling yourself into a lie you can't (won't) take back, a certain pirate captain may have a reason to come by more often. (Story tag)

Alrighty, I would very very much like to come back to this fic one day, but I truly do not know when that will happen. I think the outline I put together took away some of the drive to write the actual story, but I still want to SO BADLY.

So this story doesn't remain unfinished for however long, I'm going to share the outline I put together using beat sheets and story arcs.

Tag list: @rorywritesjunk @ane5e @venulus @misadventures0fdes You asked to be included in the tag list for the story, so I'm also tagging you here. I'm sorry for dropping the story and this hiatus, but I hope knowing that the ending exists brings some peace!

For reference: CB = Captain Buggy, MC = Main Character (aka, you, the reader!) WC: ~1.4k

As a recap of the story so far, MC tried to get 2 overly flirtatious guys off her back by saying a stranger passing by was her boyfriend. That stranger was Buggy, of course lol. Trying to stay low and play the part, MC and CB kiss. They joke about CB continuing to be a boyfriend and MC mentions having a treasure chest. A few days later, CB shows up at MCs place with flowers and saying he'll agree to be her boyfriend if she promises him the treasure map.

Chapter 4

They go on a mini date, as a way for them to talk about the agreement - they talk about the timeline and how long to "date." They decide to go get lunch.

Hot dog lunch. Hint at CBs favorite food.

CB blows kisses to MC while she’s in line.

Contract: 

Don’t tell the truth -  a deal’s a deal

MC pays for food

Compliments for Buggy

Hold hands

Kissing? We’ll figure it out if we need to

Buggy has to stop by whenever he’s in town

Buggy goes to the town festival - MC tries to convince CB to agree to go to a town festival in a few weeks or whatever, long enough for dudebros to lose interest. Offers a treasure map.

"If I’m being totally honest, that sounds like my worst nightmare."

MC stands up to someone who tries to insult Buggy’s nose. Fiery. They have to leave wherever they were. CB is impressed by her spunk.

B Story - CB inviting MC to visit the ship. 

At some point CB invites her, a shadow passes over her face, he asks if she really dislikes the idea that much.

MC feels stuck to the small town and guilt about her dad missing those kinds of experiences. She looks at Buggy's eyes and sees the draw of the ocean in them. Whatever enticed Buggy and her dad to love the sea, is reflected in his eyes.

Chapter 5

Fun and Games - coming to the weekend market

Oh yeah, no he said he wasn’t able to make it. But! CB shows up unexpectedly. YN blows him a kiss and he catches it.

CB gets into a scuffle at the weekend market.

Rowdy customer, "how about I pay you in kisses, pretty thing? No? Whatever, this shit isn’t even that good."

“no one gets to treat you like that, you hear me? no one.”

They eat fresh donuts, “oh you have to try these, they’re my favorite,” MC dabs some powdered sugar off the corner of his mouth.

Test of love trope! Conducted by a new jewelry shop. Start easy - eye color, fave food, feed each other, draw each other, blindfold and guess their partners hands, winners get matching bracelets. This is their first kiss.

CB putting the bracelet on MC "This means you’re mine. That’s what you wanted, right?" She gets A LOT of butterflies.

Walking back, the pictures they drew of each other blow away and fall into a tide pool. MC wading through water to get the drawings.

He made the day so special and she doesn’t want this to ruin it.

The drawing / picture she made isn’t that bad, he actually kinda likes it himself. So MC gives it to him. He becomes more enamored with it when she goes to save it from the water.

Nearby sailors / pirates laugh at MC in the water (lighthearted), she calls back that it’s not like they don’t get dirty treasure hunting.

CB gets butterflies from her insistence and calling the papers treasure.

Piggy back ride home? Slightly spicy. It was like their skin was calling out for the other's gentle touch.

Chapter 6

Fun and Games cont - MC said she would see CB off the next day but she doesn’t show up because she’s sick from the previous night.

CB comes by, sees that she’s okay but sick. 

He leaves for a moment and comes back with some stuff to help her feel better. He also postponed shipping off until the next day.

She bashfully asks if he’ll stay a little longer. He stays until she falls asleep.

MC calls him pretty boy and he hecking likes it.

She wakes up the next day to a note telling her that he won’t be in the area for a while.

Chapter 7

Mini scene, MC notices that the dudebros seem to have moved on. They asked for a double/triple date, but MC deflects bc who knows when CB will be in town.

MC mentions this to CB in passing.

Midpoint - Next time, MC visits CBs ship. It’s a good visit. Overall a positive experience. There is some real-ness to life aboard the ship.

Cabaji shows unicycling, meet Mohji and Richie, CB shows off knife throwing (maybe a contest between him and Cabaji, CB wins and Cabaji says at least he’s better at unicycling)

Buggy helps rig the new sails

Pirates swap stories. Talking about what it was like adjusting to life on the ship, but how amazing it is. All the sights and experiences. She has stars in her eyes while listening. Her mind sketching images of what’s being described. She’s even comfortable talking about her dad.

How do you tell your fake bf that you're nervous near him because you're starting to fall for him?

MC likes seeing CBs swagger and how his crew adores him. CB puts his hand on her shoulder and kneads.

She stays overnight (one bed), CB doesn’t sleep.

Chapter 8

Bad Guys Close In - As MC leaves, she’s accosted by pirate thugs, who notice she’s been hanging around CB.

Maybe they think she’s a sex worker? Sugar baby? She tries to say that’s not it, then they think she must be something more special. They could probably get a ransom.

Chop chop Buggy comes in to save the day. Or CB throws a knife, trapping them. CB walks her back home, tries to make it seem light hearted, doesn’t want MC to be too afraid.

MC is a bit unphased since pirates are always visiting.

MC kisses CB goodbye on the cheek. “Could you try that again?” “Better?” “Yeah…”

Chapter 9

All is Lost - Break up because CB is afraid MC will become a target. CB breaks up with YN, afraid of putting her in danger.

Even though CB dealt with those other pirates, that doesn’t mean there won’t be others 

He doesn’t want to put her in danger any longer. Besides, the guys she was avoiding seem to have moved on.

MC asks if he found someone else, something more fun, feels cruel because they don't really think that's what's happening.

I guess my expectations were too high.

Dark of the Night - MC storms back and hands off the map. "A deal’s a deal and I don’t want to be in debt to a pirate."

Wrapped around the map is her bracelet.

Chapter 10

Dark of the Night - Why does CB change his mind? - He reads a letter on the back of the map and realizes he should give it back to MC.

Break into Three - CB's waiting for her at the party. A deal’s a deal. He also gives back the map and leaves.

MC probably talking with the art shop owner:"He likes you, I can tell by how he looks at you." "How does he look at me?"

"You think he's really waiting for me?"

Finale - MC reads the note on the map and runs to the dock for CB. 

Note, from dad: “My dearest seashell, I thought being a pirate was how I could see the world, but then you came along and I saw the world through your eyes. Thank you for giving me the greatest gift anyone could ask for. I hope that one day, you find your key to the world.”

CBs not there? He’s by the wading pools, looking at the moon and drinking alone.

CB moping

How long do you think it’ll take for this to become a memory? Do you think you’ll forget about me?

They wanted to be touched, to be missed, to be loved. Was that too much to ask for?

He’s wearing both bracelets.

"Why did you come back?" "Because that belongs to you, it has your name on it."

"Bullshit, Buggy. You’re a pirate. A treasure hunter. Why did you really come back?"

"Why do you think?"

"You actually wanted to go to the festival?"

"That’s not what I want."

Anguished declaration of love - confessing love during a moment of angst

"I don’t want to stay here anymore. I want to leave. I want to draw the world you see."

MC is steadfast and waits for Buggy to respond. “I want that too.”

Big romantic kiss

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Do you want to?"

"Yes, you have no idea how much I've thought about this."

[loftec]

weekly tag wednesday thursday 👏

Tagged by @deedala @mmmichyyy and @wehangout thanks pals! <3

Name:  loftec

Location:  Sweden

Age: 3...8? Yes. 38.

You have an unexpected extra day off work or school!  What are you going to do? Pack my breakfast to go and eat it by the ocean after a swim, write at the library, do a bunch of second hand shops on the way home, do some crafting.

What is your favorite way to spend a summer day?  Early ocean swim to avoid the heat and the crowds, and then hang out inside with doors and windows open.

What is your favorite way to spend a winter day? Midday ocean swim lol, hang out at home and hopefully get extra snuggles from the cat (he's not normally very snuggly)

What do you do to unwind at the end of the day?  I like to sand little bits of wood into shapes, very relaxing. But mostly I'm on tumblr and watch youtube.

Do you play any sports?  No.

Other than fanfic, what is your favorite genre to read?  Fantasy and sci-fi mostly, right now I'm reading "Light From Uncommon Stars" by Ryka Aoki and "The Well of Loneliness" by Radclyffe Hall.

What is your comfort movie/tv show?  I would say Community and IT Crowd for comfort tv-shows because I have historically rewatched them a LOT and they are, but the last couple of years I would say I have more comfort YouTube videos. Hbomb's Sherlock video, ContraPoints's various JKR videos, Jenny Nicholson's Spiderquest or Escape from tomorrow is a dumb exercise in misery, or Folding Ideas's video series on 50 shades etc etc. Comfort movies for me are weirdly movies that make me cry, but they make me cry in very different ways so it depends on what type of cry I want. I'll spare you my lists of crying movies lol.

Do you write or draw?  A little bit of both, but writing is the thing I do purely for the fun of it.

What other arts or crafts do you do?  I do printmaking and bookbinding and odd little wooden earrings/pendants I'm still not sure is anything. I also like to 3d sculpt and making miniatures. Oh and I'm crocheting a temperature blanket this year, which I'm terribly behind on at the moment.

Describe your perfect breakfast: This year I've been making a very nice oat porridge with mushrooms, miso and spinach for breakfast on weekdays and I love it, can't imagine anything I'd want more tbh. I make my coffee just the way I like it, and sometimes I boil an egg to put on top the porridge *chef's kiss* I guess some nice juice with that would elevate it even more, and a fresh chocolate glazed donut after? If it's a special occasion?

Tagging anyone who wants to do this! My computer is not happy with me right now so I need to post this before it does something drastic!

[kamilah-is-queen]

@boundlessgratitude’s prize from the lucky draw from AGES ago. Amy meeting her ex at the office, her spouse, Kamilah, noticing too.

Pairing: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Amy Parker)

Warning: JEALOUS KAMI

Tags: @ta-sayeed, @kamilahtopme, @nydeiri, @genietotherescue, @rhonda-sayeed, @helpconfusedpersonhere, @millasayeed, @vonda-be-real, @livvynka, @queenkamilah, @leenasayeed, @skylarkxxyy, @choicesgrp, @ilove-kamilah-sayeed, @justavampirefan, @iamsimpforpoppy, @friendlybuddy, @darlingnikki-prince

Tick….tock….tick….tock

Amy couldn’t help but stare at the clock that hung above her on the wall, bored to death as she waited for Adrian to finish his meeting. My god, how long had he and Kamilah been in there, three hours?

She sighed and stood up, smoothing the hem of her skirt before she walked towards the break room. She figured there wasn’t much more she could do to pass the time but enjoy a steaming cup of tea, with cookies of course.

Amy placed the teabag in the cup and switched the kettle on, patiently tapping her nails on the countertop as she waited.

She made her way back to her desk to grab her phone, immediately opening it up to find a message from an unknown number.

‘Hey. This is Rose, your ex :( I’m bringing up a cup of coffee and a donut, be there in 2 min.’

Rose? Amy frowned as she tried to remember the woman. Oh, yes, the Rose she dated in college. Thankfully, they had separated amicably, so hopefully this encounter wasn’t going to be awkward, or so she hoped.

She lifted her head at the sound of the elevator doors opening, offering a friendly smile to Rose who was beaming from ear to ear.

‘Amy! Gosh it’s been forever girl. Look at you, all up in the fancy people’s business.’ The woman grabbed squeezed Amy in a tight embrace, leaving Amy startled and uncomfortable.

‘Yes, it has been a while.’ She gently pushed the woman’s arms off of her, attempting to divert the woman’s attention off of her before things went awry.

‘That donut looks impeccable. Mind if I dig in?’ Amy didn’t wait for an answer before she began eating, groaning at the taste.

Rose’s eyes darkened as she watched Amy, all the suppressed feelings she had for the young vampire now making a comeback.

‘I got your favorite flavor, birthday cake.’

Amy looked up, wiping the corner of her lip with her thumb before Rose took over for her.

‘How did you know-‘

‘Amy, care to introduce me to your little friend here.’ Kamilah’s voice cut through the air, her words as sharp as the glare she gave Rose, as she stormed over to the two women.

Amy immediately stepped out of Rose’s range, and into Kamilah’s arm that snagged her waist just a bit too tight. ‘Kamilah this is Rose, my ex. Rose, my wife Kamilah.’

Kamilah narrowed her eyes and gave a bitter smile, tugging Amy flush. ‘That’s right, I’m her wife, Kamilah Sayeed. Perhaps you’ve heard about me in the news, if you read it.’

Amy nudged her elbow into Kamilah’s side, a gentle warning to be nice.

Rose’s cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed to even be in Kamilah’s presence.

‘Omg, THE Kamilah Sayeed? I read about you in the Times!’

Kamilah already hated Rose, but now she hated her even more… stupid fan girls. Kamilah chose to ignore her, catching Amy’s lips in a possessive kiss that quickly got heated. She didn’t care if Rose was watching, or if anyone was watching for that matter.

Amy was hers and everyone was to know that.

Kamilah pulled back slowly, smirking at the way Amy immediately leant forward for more.

‘As you can see, Amy and I are terribly busy. You best be leaving now.’

Rose nodded furiously and offered Amy a quick glance.

‘See you around hun!’

Kamilah’s eyes flashed red at her last word, ‘hun’. She was on the verge of making Rose’s life a living hell before Amy placed a hand on her cheek, soothing her instantly.

Before the elevator doors could close, Kamilah spat back,

‘Oh, and if you ever come here again, HUN, you might not leave here alive.’

Rose’s face washed over with confusion as the doors shut, Amy giggling softly to herself as Kamilah’s eyes flashed back to their normal brown.

‘Jesus Kami, you’ll kill her with fright.’

‘That’s the point.’ Kamilah nudged her nose gently against Amy’s resting their foreheads together as she raised Amy’s hand to gaze at her rings.

‘You’re mine and everyone knows it. Whoever is foolish enough to not know, well, I can’t say I’ll be merciful.’

She grinned as she kissed Amy’s knuckles and rings, relishing in the laugh Amy let out alongside the pink tint that arose on her cheeks.

[rabbitenn]

hi there I hope it's okay to ask for headcanons for the twins with a s/o who's fun loving but kinda shy? Like the moment they know something they like they ramble and just hide's their face with their hands smiling and stammering out apologizes realizing how long they spoke?

ARDOR LIFE.

Your endless talks about your passions are the hearth he’d love to sit by as shades of your vibrant smiles fill his heart.

ft. Kujo Tenn, Nanase Riku x gn! reader.

cw/genre: fluff.

hello, lovely anon ! this is such a sweet idea for the precious twins <3 I’m sorry I’m posting it late, but I still hope it’s to your liking.

♡ KUJO TENN

— Tenn is so perceptive, he can tell right away when you’re brimming with excitement, be it because you’re going to be doing something you like soon or just because you’ve taken up a new hobby.

— You always loved to share your joys with him, rewarding him with your most unadulterated smiles, eyes sparkling, a kaleidoscope opening up your heart fully to your lover.

— You were so precious like this… Tenn’s expressions turned utterly mellow when he beheld you in these moments.

— To him, you danced beneath the rosy caress of late dawns; the way you shined, only accentuating with every word you spoke.

— And Tenn feels honored that you choose him.

— See, he’s used to the fame and being his fans’ first choice, but, for you to share your passions and favorite interests with him, just because he’s himself, with no stage or colored lights to paint his angel wings in technicolor mosaics… It warms his heart.

— Of course, though, sometimes the topic you choose to fawn over is none other than him.

— And honestly, that makes Tenn equally as happy. He loves his fans, after all, and you’re naturally his favorite.

— And, well, if what you’re talking about happens to be something he’s into as well, Tenn is so grateful to be able to share this joy with you!

— “Tenn! Tenn!” You call him, wide smile illuminating the face he so adores. “Look! Look what I found! You’re going to love it!” You call him, showing him your phone screen.

— The idol’s gaze softens the moment he sees you, practically jumping up and down in excitement.

— “It’s a new cat cafe! It’s so cute! They have so many kittens, and they even adopt strays that have nowhere to go. Look, it’s all explained on their official page.” You scroll down a bit. “Here! They give them medical treatment if they need it, and they get good food and shelter this way! Isn’t it amazing? And look at the sweets they sell! Cat shaped strawberry cream donuts! We have to go, Tenn!”

— You grab his wrist softly, tugging on his sleeve as you ramble on.

— A smile filled with tenderness draws on your boyfriend’s face, a chuckle leaving his lips.

— His fingers find yours, slotting them in between.

— ‘You’re too cute.’ Tenn thinks fondly, as he’s completely lost in your adorable features rather than paying attention to the pictures you show him.

— Don’t get him wrong. He loves what you’re sharing with him, but you are so enchanting and perfect to him… Especially when you shine so bright with excitement… He just can’t take his eyes off of you.

— “We should go indeed, my love.” He tells you, head resting against yours.

— That’s when you fluster, realizing how much you’ve rambled on.

— “Tenn… I’m sorry…” Comes your mumbled apology, face buried in your hands. “I talk too much…”

— Your boyfriend’s response comes in the form of a light chuckle.

— “Don’t hide from me, my sweet [Y/n].” He utters, delicately taking your hands in his soft ones. “I love it when you tell me about the things that make you happy.”

— And when your eyes meet his, you can tell he means it.

— His eyes are the shade of first kisses beneath a wintry sunset, pink clouds drifting away as bright rays sway in between naked branches. There’s so much gentleness and care contained in a single gaze…

— “Aren’t I… annoying? When I go on for so long?” You wonder.

— “You could never be annoying.” Tenn assures you, lips brushing over your knuckles. “Please, always keep being this bright, sunshine.” He asks you, fingertips tracing your jawline.

— Any other statement dies in your throat at his proximity, strands of silken stardust tickling you as the angel places one last tender kiss to your cheek.

— He loves you and your long talks, and he’d be damned if he didn’t let you know.

♡ NANASE RIKU

— Honestly, you’re made for each other!

— Riku is pretty excitable himself, his every emotion clear as day in the little changes of his expression.

— So when it is you who is enthusiastic about something, it’s like a full circle feedback of exhilaration between you two.

— Honestly, Riku is your biggest hypeman, whatever it is you want to ramble about, he’s more than happy to listen; he just thinks you’re so cool.

— Due to his condition, IDOLiSH7’s center grew up pretty sheltered, resulting in him still being naive in regards to a variety of aspects.

— So, you telling him about the things you love makes him feel like a window to your inner colorful world opens right before his eyes.

— On one hand, he loves discovering new things you tell him about or that you’ve gotten into recently.

— And on the other, Riku is so happy you trust him and go to him first when you have news to share! Instead of walking on eggshells and just keeping him shielded, you share your passions with him, and invite him to take part in them.

— “Riku! Rikkun! Guess what?” You excitedly greet him, jumping from his bed, as soon as he gets to the dorms.

— You wrap your arms around him, holding a magazine in between your hands.

— “Mph!” Your boyfriend has time to let out, as he embraces you, trying not to topple over to the ground with you.

— You pull away a little, enough to meet those big vibrant eyes of his, so often puppy-like.

— “Riku! They’re holding a book fair and look at this! There’s gonna be signed limited edition copies of the next book from that series we were reading! Will you go with me? I want to give you a copy! You’ve been working so hard, I’d love to get something nice as a reward for you!”

— “Really? They’re releasing the next book already?” He inspects the magazine you show him. “Aah! They are indeed! This is such a nice surprise!”

— “Right? Right?” You prompt, holding both of his hands in yours, as you swing them. “We could have a date on that day. I’ll take you to a cafe with tasty donuts and then we can have omurice for lunch too…”

— You suddenly trail off, averting your gaze as your face feels suddenly a little too hot.

— “Ah… I… I’m talking too much…” You lower your head, burying it in your boyfriend’s chest. “I’m getting carried away… Sorry, Riku…”

— He smiles, his arms instantly tightening their hold around your form.

— Carmine eyes flutter closed, as his hands gently brush through your hair.

— “You never talk too much.” He tells you, searching for your gaze, brows slightly furrowed, offering you a reassuring smile. “And…” He scratches the back of his neck. “You already know that I like it when you share news with me, [Y/n]. It makes me happy.”

— A shy smile curls your lips as you fleetingly brush them against Riku’s.

“Thank you, baby.” You whisper, combing vibrant crimson strands away from his adorable face. “You make me the happiest, Rikkun.”

— His nose brushes yours lovingly.

There is no doubt you make him the happiest too.

[hxrnyforsturns]

the best part C.S

fluff, making out, brief nudity

a/n: my second fic!! it's a small little story i was in a fluffy mood so i'm writing one of the most romantic things in my opinion. this is like my dream lmfao.

orange chris

pink y/n

--------------------------------------------------------

4:37 am

today was the day i have dreamed of since i was a little girl. no not my wedding but i have always wanted to go on a sunrise date with my dream boyfriend. i'm glad to say i'm finally fulfilling this with chris.

i put on my- i mean chris's favorite dark green hoodie ,that was oversized on me,on with nothing but a black bra under, along with my grey sweatpants and my sneakers. i put on my glasses knowing i didn't have the energy to put on contacts this early in the morning. i grabbed my car keys and flipped my hood over my hair to hide the fact i didn't style it.

hey ml im omw to ur house rn

should be there in about 4 mins💞

i'm up and ready baby i'll be waiting outside for u❤️

--------------------------------------------------------

before i went to chris's house, i picked up a chocolate donut for him and a strawberry for me along with two iced coffees. i put on me and chris shared playlist. playing my favorite song, the best part by daniel ceaser. it reminded me of chris so much.

i pulled into the driveway and he almost immediately jumped in the passenger seat.

"hello my sweet boy!"

"hi my love! you got me my favorite!"

"only the best for my baby"

"oh nice sweat shirt where did you get it"

"it's so comfy you can't blame me"

"well it looks better on you anyway"

i could tell he just woke up because his voice was still groggy. he was rubbing his eyes trying to wake up. he was wearing nike grey sweats with a purple hoodie. we shared a quick kiss as i ran my fingers through his hair. one of my favorite things about him is how he lets me play with his hair. i remember he used to be sensitive about his hair and didn't let anyone touch it. we continued to sing our favorite song by daniel ceaser.

--------------------------------------------

we arrive to our spot. he asked me out here, he apologized to me here, he took pictures of us that are currently his wallpaper here. it was a very special place to us. it was still a bit dark out as we were waiting for the sunrise. we brought blankets and cuddled up in them. i brought my speaker and continued to play our playlist. we got our drinks and donuts and shared them together.

"have i told you this is my dream date"

"only 5 times "

"stopp! you don't understand how much this means to me."

"i couldn't be happier to share it with you."

chris grazes my thigh with one hand drawing little shapes. the other hand he was stroking my cheek.

"I just wanted to say thank you"

"anything for you."

he pulls me into a kiss. his soft fruity flavored lips gently press against mine. little moans escaping my mouth. I explained to him earlier that i didn't want this to be to sexual so i knew he would just keep this at making out. i run my hands through his hair,while in passionate kissed we whisper "i love you " back and forth to each other as we slowly catch our breath. i pull my sweatshirt over my head exposing my black bra.

"i thought we weren't"

"we aren't. i'm just hot"

he left one hand caressing my cheek and the other placing his hand on my almost exposed breast.

"i can feel your heart beat"

"it gets like this whenever around you. wow you don't realize the impact you have on me do you"

"i guess i don't, but you do know you make my heart beat faster whenever i see you."

"really?"

"yeah, your the most amazing person i've ever met and i'm so glad i'm spending my life with you."

happy tears start to flood my eyes as i pull him in for another kiss with chris. he pulls me in to cuddle as we watch the sunrise and get into more conversation. i wish i could spend the rest of my life with him.

--------------------------------------------

the sunrise was the most beautiful i've seen. we took more amazing photos. we drove back to chris's house and took a nap together.

[vacantgodling]

1, 6, and 7

thank you!!! this was the answer tumblr fucking ate originally 💀

1. Who was your first ever OC? Do you still “use” them? How have they evolved over time?

first ever oc was one i made when i was like 3-4 with my grandma and i called her nature girl. she was a superhero plant woman fairy thing—very inspired by that one green fairy from neopets as i got older lol. but i don’t use her at all she’s not really my style anymore tho i do still enjoy fairies. i think it’d be interesting to try and give her a form or design—a revamp of some sort, and i tried in like 2015 i think but i don’t feel like trying to find that sketchbook lol. it doesn’t do her justice but maybe i’ll try again one day.

6. Do you have any OCs without stories? Will you ever create one for them?

quite a bit but sorta—mostly bc all of my characters have at least a bare bones general gist about them? however between characters i only draw or characters that were abandoned from old wips with my ex/roleplays that i don’t do anymore i do have some. i usually try to repurpose these ocs; like di, toph, quill, red, hel (all came from the same now defunct universe for example) but there are some that just kind of exist in limbo bc they’re so tied to their stories i can’t figure out what to do with them (an example is aslin rou eliduel; a fae esque dude) or i just can’t think of much to do with them (like utah & gator as an example). soooo i wanna do stuff with all my ideas if i can but i’ve accepted that sometimes it takes time or maybe it won’t happen at all lol.

7. What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

i have a LOOOOT of favorite relationships across my wips. amon & hya are the obvious chief otp but here are some of my other favorites:

TCOL: by nature of having a huge cast i have a lot of favorite relationships but clear x forte, lath & ensio (i’m extremely not normal about them), piper & saith (ugh… the unrequited really hits the spot for me idk), erik x dion (THEM!!!!!), cameron x jihi (ouGhHh), and altair x charissa i’m not normal about

carlos & jenna from TLSS are my literal everything do not separate. also the polycule from donut wip of julissa, andres, saul, daisy, and joaquin is 🤌🏾🤌🏾. juls and juvia’s sisterhood makes me emo also

GOD EATER: not normal about naveah & little bear or taj x thei or the four of them in any aspect. also while lucifer x ava / lucifer x kyu is SLIGHT crack i’m still 👀

TGWD: definitely graves and dove but that’s obvious

VDTRT: aside from darren x gabe, dave x estel (crackish but it’s lowkey canon to me), corsel x blackpeak, and raymond x laurent (ESPECIALLY THESE TWO OHHHHHHHH MY GOD) do it for me

dead rites: i mean n x bibi for sure. you’ll notice the pattern that i make wips based on the relationships i’m not normal about 8 times out of 10

LR: di x toph but also trish x nix they are so cute i’m obsessed with them and their little family. nix & toph’s friendship also makes me mad emo, and beki, crispin, rill are chefs kiss (besties)

ALIZATH: kirsi x juven x amarette might become a thing bc i’m kinda 👀👀

PURPLE HAZE: calvin & jake’s friendship means the world to me but also jake x luke i’m not normal about and jenny x ramone are ADORABLE

MOUNT HEREDOSA: i mean. nyoka x verin are boning and that’s the whole story

NAD: the friendship between nyseah, don, and alona makes me emo. the found family is so strong in this wip esp among nyssie and all her kiddos :((((

GOTHICA: genuinely surprised at how attached i got to len x aurora x mori

THE WHITE SHIRTS: marin x prosper are a… guilty pleasure of mine.

SUPERNATURAL DADS: i mean hue x jihan

CELESTIAL WEDDINGS: is all about relationships but i’m specifically feral about dag x lillia (UGHHHh), dag x aenlin (obsessed with them a LOT), dag x vigustav (OUGHHHHHHHH), and dag x zhujen (emotional damage). also dag x almine is just extremely hot thanks.

SIXTEEN CANDLES: i’m biased about ranger x nanette

TEARDROPS: QUILL AND CINN EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY EXES WHO ARE RIDE OR DIE FOR EACH OTHER HAVE MY WHOLE HEART

RED DEATH: red and hel im just *vibrates*

PERI & DANDY: peri x dandy bc it’s basically selfcest but it isn’t and i love them and they love each other, but also emotional about she x he :(((((( them :((((

DREAM TEAM: the four hooligans and their wild ass friendship (oliver, britt, seth, & danny)

MARVIN AND LINDA: i mean it’s in the name. they’re full of pain.

[the-official-account]

episode 24 B)

Okay so last episode was intense and I'm raring to find out what happens next, but I'm EXTRA excited because I've been curious what this episodes title is about since literally my very first listen. another so-while-drawing so if commentary is slightly unhinged/sparse you know why

"EXCEPT WAIT DIAMONDS IN THE ROOM" mood bestie fuck

and ajsrlfhadsjhfaskf Vellum gets THREE drinks. Circular snacks....

ALJJAFSDGL;AJSFD "is it a nice shot of his booty?" the good side is the backside ;)

"but she does touch her beak to your forhead" awhhhhhhh!!! Penumbra podcast has made me permanently associate bird-woman kisses with the most heart wrenching gestures of affection one has ever encountered

HE GOES TO DRAW HIS SWORDS AND THEN ITS NOT THERE SO HE DRAWS HIS GUN

Diamond does not deserve any fucking donuts, everyone gets donuts BUT diamond. and yeah!! grey IS in town!!!

"no i successfully--" shut uuuuuup asdfjhasdlfasdf

THEY DID NOT JUST CALL BRUNHILDE-- MY FUCKING BRUNHILDE, MY FAVORITE AUNT, LIGHTS OF MY LIFE, PRIMODONNA BLORBOESS, A FUCKING REBOUND???? A REBOUND???? BITCH THEY ARE MARRIED.

"he brought back oolong" noooo!!!!

"I have never hated a person so much, i wanted to do violence just now :D!" ANYAAAA LMAOOOO

"spar looks relieved" awhhhhhh they're so precious!!! I'm gonna crush them in a vice

;asdfasldfasdf spar and jakub's eyebrow conversation is soooo good. god i adore them sm

LASJHFA;LSDFJASDF GOD I FORGOT HE CAN CLIMB WALLS. AND HE JUST DOES THIS IN FRONT OF JAKUB LMAOOO

"they're a flystander because it's high up"

I need to write a fic where, like, Ipswitch is visiting Vassa Natura and Jakub has him step inside briefly while he goes to grab his coat or something and then is like "wait lemme show him the closet he'll probably like that" and is confused as to why Ipswitch is treating this like he just handed him a copy of his key

These consecutive jokers are hilarious. Safety checks matter, Essay!!! XDDD

AWHHHHH THE NOSE BUMP KISS

HE LEARNED EMBROIDERY. AWH.

ILA KNOWS TAEKWONDO? VERY COOL

RAISED BY A TRIBE OF ELVEN ACCOUNTANTS THAT INVENTED ZERO IM DEEEEEEAAAAD.

I'm SO excited for the quiet year series

I'm having so much fun :) I missed Grey

I think it's high time to upgrade diamond from "person of interest" to "suspect"

greggginnnnns <3<3

og course vellum and grey start tinkering kdlsjf;asdfjasdf they're so family. GREY HUH!!! :0 YAYYYYY

Grey and Diamond better not fucking be an item rn.

I need vellum and spar to hug so bad rn.

"wait...jack's missing?" asjdhf;ladsjkfa;sdjlk

i need them to hug SO SO BAD.

The forearm squeeze. WAH

spar was vulnerable for 2.5 seconds and then pulled back like he was burned al;dsjfa;lkdjf

"why were you scared?" "Spar looks at vellum like he's stupid" AWHHHHHH AWHHH THE QUICK LITTLE KISS IM. THATS SO CUUUTEEEE. your honor they love eachother!!!!

i NEED max and vellum to be friends so bad. I need them to have that friends-to-siblings arc i NEED this

OH. DAMN.

"Hey uh. Max. I've been wanting to meet you--" "Sorry my mom killed your parents and then herself." "......uh. Yeah" LJSHDALG;AHSDGF LIKE IMAGINE THAT CONVERSATION-- FUCK.

I was kinda close about the werekid situation though!!! Max sure is a kid of a were!

Vellum and grey's relationship is something that can be SO precious in my heart <3

Vellum is gonna be such a good big brother he's gonna be SUCH a good brother he's gonna be SOOOOOOO THEY"RE A FUCKING FAMILY YOUR HONOR!!!!! YOUR HONOR!!!!!!!

"First i need to confess something" i am instantly so suspicious again. "none of this is gonna matter soon" THATS NOT A REASSURING THING

THE SPIKE WAS FAKED????

"What I want to do with the radiotower is unethical" I at least respect the self awareness

OHHHHHH SHIT PROVIDENCE IS THE DECK!!! THAT'S WHY NOTHING HAPPENED IN CINDERSHORE, I WAS SO CONVINCED THAT WAS SOME KINDA CHAOS GOD

sometimes I forget that vellum got a little misery after drawing that card and I just keep laughing.

"some thing that providence is a god" HAHAHA BITCH IM BACK IN THE GAME

"how can we even control it to accomplish your goal?" You gotta sacrifice something messy and big, i think......If bridge is to be believed.

"The cards don't get destroyed after?" AJSHDFAL;DSFHASDKFH THE ONE YOUR BURNED YEAH-- THAT BITCH REFUUUSED TO DIE

Spar is absolutely not gonna be on board with the providence thingg. However finding a way to contain it would be ideal. Though if providences IS a god that might not be possible at all.

"NOW I WANNA GO MEET YOUR BOYFRIEND" MY JAW DROOOOOOOOPPED. LMAOOOOOOOOO

L;KASFDGFAL;SDFASDF NOT ME THINKING THERE WERE AD AT THE END.

Okay.....episode 25 is the last ep up and I'm gonna be kinda busy tomorrow so I think I might just....just go for it! Why not! I'm not scared at all hahahahhaha!!! having the bonus content to cushion my fall will be nice too. but god i just need to know what grey says to spar askjfl;asdjfa;sdf

@threeheartscast

[falsebooles123]

Finding The First Gay Kiss - Diary of a Big Ole Gay 1/14/23

Hey Whores, so first some good news. I may have a new job. Its tenous but I should have some breathing room and at least some part time stuff so thank god for that.

Second, um can we talk about M3GAN?

(yass qween slay)

So I just say it in theaters and its great and its about like parenting, and grief, and adulification and also the robot does a silly dance for no reason. Because she fucking can and its like this perfect encapsulation of this dicotomy between Innocence/Danger and Child/Adult. IDK Good Shit.

So as always sluts lets get into the Good Stuff

City Lights (1931) dir Charlie Chaplin

This is one of those films thats included a lot in general discussion of absolute kino. Not only is this one of the last silent films and the last of Charlie Chaplins films its also considered a favorite not only by the director himself but a lot of the later autuers that have graced the silver screen.

My opinion is that its .... alright.

Don't get me wrong this is a really great film, its enjoyable and I enjoy the vibe but I don't get the hype for it. The main reason why this is on the list is because the tramp basically has a sugar daddy in this. So Theres this Drunk Millionaire who whenever hes drunk he basically just wants to give the Tramp Money and kiss him on the mouth, and sleep in the same bed as him.

Basically what I'm saying is that the millionaire is tramp-curious.

Side Note: So random guy at the bar called himself "Bi-flitatious" and I kinda love that for him.

Besides that this movie is very straight and the Tramp gets up to a variety of antics.

Some LIke It Hot (1959) dir. Billy Wilder

So if you know anything about this film then you know that at the end of the film the guys goes, "I can't marry you I'm a man" in which his fiance says "Well Nobody's Perfect"

(honestly that line is raw, we stan)

I think I also summerized the queer aspects of this really well on letterboxd and since I'm having a lazy day I'm just gonna Copy & Paste this shit there.

"This cross-dressing comedy is more like the 60s and 70s ones were these filthy men are invading womens spaces!!!!

thats a joke, anyway this film of course has ride or die Osgood Fielding III who likes "Pobodies Nerfect". at the same time the bottom in the relationship is honestly kinda gender fluid in this to the point where hes just perfectly comfortable marrying a man and living with she/her pronouns so like thats a thing."

This is also to the best of my knowledge the last of the "Role-reversal" comedys which is ironic since this is also a movie so slutty it broke the hays code, (though I just watched the "Sadian Trilogy" and that was only a few years later and they were so god damn slutty).

Its hard to pinpoint why the role reversal comedy fell out of favor my best guess is that the lavender scare and the general culteral hatred for those filthy queers eating donuts. Thats not to say that there is not any drag comedies moving forward but the next resurgance I can think of in mainstream popular culture is in the 90s and 2000s and obvously in our modern decade drag queens are once again becoming popular. Its been an intersting experience within this niche genre because its always fascinating to see how different eras constructed gender.

Suddently, Last Summer (1959) dir. Joseph L. Mankiewicz

Ok there are a lot of great clips from this film but you just know I had to show a clip of Elizabeth Taylor being STUNNING.

so this is one of several adaptations made by GIANT GAY Tenessee Williams which deals with homosexual subtext. Along with Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and Rebel without a Cause or something.

This film follows hot doctor, Montgomery Clift, (also gay), who is being ara ara between Katherine Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor and its this amazing southern gothic vibe of incest and insanity and just being horny on main for the surrogate of your gay ass son.

There is definetly a subtext to the play that deals with the mental healtcare of the past and its hard not to draw the comparision between Taylor's threat of a lobotomy with the way that many queer people with lobotomized during the time. It should also be noted that Williams sister was lobotomized in real life so there is definetly a personal aspect to this story telling.

Also on the BTS Big Gay Time, Gore Vidal, Famous Bisexual, wrote the script for this film.

This film is textually about Elizabeth Taylor hanging out with her cousin who may or may not be paying the locals to suck his dick. Its very colonalistic. Anyway , Spoilers, he does get cannabilized by the locals like its a kenneth anger film.

Subtextually this film is just CAMP AF and so it also has this amazing amount of divas chewing the furniture. It is amazing.

Vampry (1932) dir. Carl Theodor Dreyer

Vampry ... Der Traum des Allan Grey , (ugh you know I have to say the full ass german name because I AM AN ASSHOLE). is just this random ass vampire movie made by Dreyer I think after he did his religious epic with that one saint the lesbians like.

(ok I also love Joan of Arc, who doesn't she was a bad bitch)

this is on this list because according to Dreyer he based this off of Carmilla and also so like super random short story he read. This film is a lot like Nosferatu in the sense that the tropes for vampires wern't solidified and this is super artsy. A lot of these early non Dracula Vampire films were just doing the most and while this movie is probably the least gay vampire film i've ever seen it was v v cool.

The Blood of a Poet (1932) dir. Jean Cocteau

So basically Jean Cocteau, (Gay), was talking to his rich friend who gave him a bunch of money and was like. Hey whore I want you to make the artsiest art film, just whatever goes throught that gay gay gay GAY gay gay brain of yours.

So this film is giving us Eux d'artifice vibes but at the same time this movie is not gay enough for me needs to be gayer. That being said there is two more of these films so I expect symbolic sucking and fucking in the sequels.

Also Tonight I'm watching some of Julian Eltinges Filmography. A lot of his work is lost so if your gonna watch twitch tonight ge ready for Isle of Love and Madame Behave. anyway Sluts and Slanterns you have a good night.

[lexxiie]

can you write bnha x their favourite moments with you? like, memories they appreciate? pretty please?

Ohhhh, yessss!!

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Featuring: Tomura Shigaraki, Touya Todoroki, Keigo Takami, Kai Chisaki.

Their Favorite Memories With You.

TOMURA SHIGARAKI

He thinks about this particular thing at least once a day. It happened a couple of months ago. You were both watching a movie, It was the first time you had a bit of time to be together in a while.

He was resting his head on your chest when he suddenly felt your fingers starting to play with his hair. He could feel how you were moving the strands around, but the sensation was very unfamiliar so he had no idea what on earth you were doing.

He decided to ignore whatever it was and just enjoy the fact that you were together, until he heard you giggling. He didn't understand what was so funny, the movie was supposed to be tragic. Then, your giggling turned into shrieks of laughter. The poor guy turned to look at you as if you were high, he even looked a bit scared. However, your laugh was honestly very cute, regardless of how weird he thought you were acting, so, he couldn't help but join you in your laughter attack.

Whoever saw you would've thought you guys were crazy. Laughing louder and louder by each passing minute. After some good 10 minutes of your incontrolable laughter, you suddenly stopped and looked at him, his scared look returning to his face by how sudden your mood change was. Before he could ask if you were angry, you kissed him as if you hadn't seen him in ages. He could never be able to explain how much he loved how you made him feel that day, but he would never forget it. He must admit he didn't love it that much when he looked at the mirror only to see a braid that looked like a tower at the top of his head, though. So that was what was so funny, huh?

TOUYA TODOROKI

This is not only his favorite memory with you, but his favorite memory ever. You had been dating for only a couple of months and he felt terrible because he couldn't take you out on dates or anything of the sort.

It was a very cold winter night. You had asked him to cuddle you because you were freezing and, according to you, he was like a human heater. However, you stood up after only a bit of him hugging you. Was he too hot? Did he burn you without noticing or something? He watched as you looked out the window and then put your coat on as well as your boots. You looked back at him and said "Come on!" He honestly thought you had gone crazy. He would never go outside with you, that would be incredibly risky for you. You noticed his hesitant look and reassured him. "It's too dark outside, the snow and coats will make it even harder for anyone to see us. It'll be fine." He knew it was risky anyway, but he really wanted to go with you. So he did.

You took him to what you said was your favorite park and you both sat at a bench while eating a donut that you had bought in a small stall. You could see that he was looking in every direction, nervous to be recognized, of course. He noticed you standing up and walking around the park, but he was too concentrated on avoiding people to see what exactly you were doing. Until he felt a strong blow on his face. It took him a couple of seconds to process that you had hit him with a snow ball, but as soon as he realized, he wasted no time to counterattack. He showed the same amount of mercy that you did. None.

You achieved exactly what he was trying to avoid; draw attention to both of you. Two strangers fighting in the middle of a lonely park at midnight was rather unusual, of course. However, he hadn't had that much fun in a while. "I surrender! I surrender!" You yelled as you covered your face with both arms. You had no time to process the fact that you were being lifted off the ground when you felt his lips pressed against yours. That was definitely a great day.

KEIGO TAKAMI

He thinks about this whenever he's sad. It happened when you had just started dating.

He had just gotten out of work, and his first thought was to go see you. He got inside your apartment through your window, as he always did. As you both sat at your table and talked about your days, he started ranting about how nice the wind was today and how awesome it was to fly when the day felt like that. When he realized he was talking too much, he assumed he was boring you and decided to talk about you instead. "Hey! Aren't you gonna tell me more about how it feels to fly? I have always wanted to know." He was shocked. Every single girl he had dated before hated the idea of flying, they thought it was terrifying and had no intentions of listening to how much he loved it because they would get bored too quickly.

"Would you really like to know what it's like?" You looked at him with a confused look on your face. "Well... Yes." Next thing you knew, he was wrapping his arms around you and asking you to trust him while he rose up to the sky. You looked so excited, and so beautiful. The wind on your hair made you look so angelic. It was by far the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

He had always wanting to share this part of his world with someone, be he had never met anyone who was interested. When you finally descended, you looked at him with all the excitement of the world. "That is the coolest thing I've ever done! Are we gonna do that again? Please, please, please say yes!" Yup, he was in love. And he was all yours.

KAI CHISAKI

He's not one to hold moments in his heart. Or that's what he says. The truth is, that he holds one particular day in his mind, and it brings him a lot of comfort.

He was busy, taking care of some papers that he had to sign. He had promised you that he was going to take you out for dinner that day, but things never go as planned.

He thought you were rightfully angry at him because he hadn't seen you since he told you about the papers, which is why he was quite surprised when you entered his office with two bags in your hands. "Brought dinner." You said as you unpacked the bags, revealing his favorite food. You knew he wanted to go out with you too, so you weren't mad at him. He worked a lot and you still wanted him to relax; you thought this was the best way to do so. If he couldn't go to dinner, dinner would come to him.

It might not seem as something very important, but it was to him. Not only did you show him that you understand his situation, his lifestyle; but also that you care enough for him to make sure he eats and relaxes. He never had anyone to do any of this for him before. He stood up and walked towrds you. Placing his hand on your cheek and strocking it lightly with his thumb, he placed a kiss on you lips. "Thank you, (y/n)."

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Five Times Someone Mistook Roman And Remus (And One Time They Finally Met)

1. Austin

[Original post] • [2] [3] [4] [5] [+1]

Word Count: 701

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Intruxiety

Warnings: shouting, accusations of cheating (no actual cheating), swearing, shitty (ex)boyfriends, panic attacks

Also just to be clear Roman and Remus are not in any way related in this, they just happen to look a lot alike

~~~START~~~

This was only their third date, but Remus really liked Virgil.  

They’d originally been sent on a blind date by their mutual friend, Patton (who, Remus later learned, had had to bribe Virgil with cookies so that he’d even go), and had hit it off immediately. Remus was an artist whose work focused heavily on horror; Virgil was a fashion designer whose work could be called “Hot Topic-Chic”.  

But it wasn’t just their mutual participation in counter-culture and fascination with the darker things in life that made Patton certain that they were “soulmates”. No, it was the way that most of Remus’s favorite pieces were about finding hope in the darkness; it was the way Virgil lined his favorite clothes with a cute kitty-cat patterned fabric; it was the way Remus had named his dog Mr. Snuggles; it was the way Virgil’s apartment was filled with cuddly plushies that he made himself.  

And quite frankly it was the way that both of them had horrendous taste in eye makeup.  

But no matter what reason Patton had for setting them up, Remus couldn’t be happier about it.  

For their third date, they’d gone to Patton’s cat-theme café (which didn’t have any real cats in it since Patton was allergic), and then they’d taken their hot chocolates (since both of them were on medications that prevented them from having caffeine) and donuts to the park across the street. It had been threatening to rain all morning, so there weren’t too many other people out and about, but now the clouds were starting to clear.  

Remus wasn’t really sure what had happened — one minute he and Virgil were discussing the darker themes in cartoons, and the next there was a very irate man screaming at them.  

Or more specifically, screaming at Remus.  

“I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!” The man screeched. “YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!? AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU!? AFTER I ATTENDED THAT SHITTY PLAY LAST MONTH!? Oh, don’t tell me, you actually are sleeping with that actor guy? I knew it! That ‘stage kiss’ had way too much chemistry! So, who’s this? Your third side-hoe? Fourth?” 

“Okay first of all,” Remus seethed; he had no idea who this man was, but clearly Remus resembled someone he knew, and clearly that someone deserved better. “Back the fuck up! Secondly, I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you have problems, dude. Thirdly, Vee is my only hoe, so write that down!” 

“Oh, grow up!” The man sneered. “You think gluing some shitty fake mustache to your face and changing your clothes makes you unrecognizable? Newsflash Ro, it doesn’t, so stop pretending you don’t know me, and let’s have a real conversation like grownups!” 

The man reached out to pull at Remus’s mustache, but Remus slapped his hand away before he could make contact.  

“Maybe you need to grow up and stop yelling at strangers in parks,” Virgil hissed, but the man fully ignored him.  

“You know what? We’re through! Your singing sucks, your acting is hacky, and it is weird that you’re a full-grown man who’s still into Disney! Lose my number, I never want to see you again.” 

The man shoved past Remus — knocking the cocoa out of his hand — and stormed away.  

“The feeling’s mutual!” Remus shouted at the man’s retreating form. “HE’S BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU! What a turd.” 

“Y-yeah,” Virgil stammered, drawing Remus’s attention to the fact that he was shaking.  

“Are you okay?” He asked softly, taking Virgil’s hand gently. “I swear I’ve never seen that man before in my life! I would never–” 

“I believe you,” Virgil cut him off, breath hitching. “I do. I’m just bad at confrontation.” 

“Okay. Do you need to sit down? We can go back to Patton’s. Or there’s a bench over there if you want?” 

“Bench!” Virgil gasped.  

Remus led him over to the bench, and sat patiently while Virgil went through some breathing exercises.  

“So?” Virgil asked once his breathing had evened out. “I’m your only hoe?” 

Remus cracked a grin. “Oh absolutely! Nothing could compare to that ass!” 

Virgil lasted exactly two seconds before he was doubled over laughing and wheezing with Remus close behind.  

“You’re my only hoe, too.” 

~~~END~~~

I don’t think I’m quite sold on the title, but I had trouble finding a short way to word what this is (technically I don’t need to put “Five And One” but shut up)

This is my first attempt at Dukexiety as a pairing, and I’m not exactly sure I’ve quite hit the vibe, but to be fair, it is a new relationship soooo

(I picked Dukexiety mostly so I could have Virgil go “who are you and what have you done with Remus?” to Roman)

General taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @knight-shives @misunderstood-shadowling

[rphelperblog]

Heroes of Olympus Rp Meme

“Uh, normally she doesn’t judo-flip people.” 

“Knocked out twice in two days,” 

“With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.” 

I could use some dam french fries."

“Be careful of love. It'll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong.” 

“Life is only precious because it ends, kid.”

“Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.” 

"I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you."

“It's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.” 

“It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.” 

“The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive.” 

“You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.” 

“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to blast you.”

I gave her my deluxe I'll-Kill-You-Later stare.”

“If there’d been an ocean in Kansas, maybe.”

“donuts. Always, donuts.”

“That should’ve killed her!”

“What if we promoted, like, Adidas or something? Would that make Nike mad enough to show up?” 

“To be perfect, you have to feel perfect about yourself—avoid trying to be something you’re not.” 

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.” 

“Survive first. Figure out crayon drawing of destiny later.” 

“I can’t believe I thought you were hot.” 

“I try not to think. It interferes with being nuts 

“It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.” 

"The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!” 

"You look stupid just standing there."

“But remember, boy, that a kind act can sometimes be as powerful as a sword.” 

“Getting something and having the wits to use it...those are two different things.” 

'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!” 

“Tell the sun and stars hello for me.” 

“FORGET THE CHICKEN-NUGGET SMOKE SCREEN.”

“It could kick some serious booty,” 

You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'"

"If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on!” 

“Isn’t that Mother Nature? She’s supposed to have, like, flowers in her hair and birds singing around her and dear and rabbits doing her laundry.”

"I mean... Oh, cool! Suffering? I love suffering! Let's do this.” 

I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!” 

“I fought side by side with the gods and some other demigod…Harry Cleese, I think.”

“I’d eat breakfast, breakfast, and breakfast if I could.” 

“and inside were not gardening tools, unless you wanted to make war on your tomato plants.” 

“But beauty is about finding the right fit, the most natural fit, To be perfect, you have to feel perfect about yourself --- avoid trying to be something you're not.

“My point is that love is the most powerful motivator in the world. It spurs mortals to greatness. Their noblest, bravest acts are done for love.” 

“Shut up, me,”

“Nothing,Long night. I think I’m hallucinating. It’s cool.” 

“Just joking.it might be good to change the subject.” 

"I am nice! I simple ooze niceness,”

“And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time.” 

"Yay! Your brain works!”

“Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.” 

“You must forge your own path for it to mean anything.” 

“Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies” 

"I'm the bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy.” 

“But magic is neither good nor evil. It is a tool, like a knife. Is a knife evil? Only if the wielder is evil.” 

I'm the... What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or..."

“Safety from what? Who's after me?"

"Yes, my brave one. They are beautiful tonight."

I will have your soul!” 

“No one can hate you with more intensity than someone who used to love you.”

"Why do humans have to sway their arms while they walk? I dunno boss, but it just feels right.” 

“Do you always try to kill people when they blow their nose?

“Does truth have a moral?” 

“Lots of death, huh? Personally, I'm trying to avoid lots of death, but you guys have fun!” 

“Well . . . sure good to be together again. Arguing. Almost dying. Abject terror. Oh, look. It's our floor.” 

‘I get a little nosebleed and I wake up the entire earth? That’s not fair!” 

I had weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted food.

“There is always a way out for those clever enough to find it.

She glared at me like she was going to punch me. And then she did something that surprised me even more. She kissed me.” 

“Hot? You dare insult me? I am cold,Very, very cold.” 

We've learned that your plans really, really bite!” 

“I can’t drown. And neither can my pancakes.” 

“Oh my god, I am so awesome!"

"And cute, in a scrawny way,

Baby I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.” 

“Being a hero doesn’t mean you’re invincible. It just means that you’re brave enough to stand up and do what’s needed.” 

“not giving people a second thought…that can be dangerous.” 

“We'll have to work on your bunny phobia later.” 

“Almost everything strange washes up near Miami. ” 

“Sometimes mortals can be more horrible than monsters.” 

I will look for powdered donuts in the wilderness."

And so...hypothetically, if these to people likes each other, what would it take to get the stupid guy to kiss the girl, huh?"

“Daddy will explain. Come, he is blowing up monsters.” 

“Oh, I wouldn't say Love always makes you happy. Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad.” 

"You just . . . with a sword . . . you just—"

“I'm not good with children, Or people. Well, any organic life forms, really.” 

Uh...don't we deal in myths?'

'No, I mean it's a MADE-UP myth. Not like, an actual true myth.

“I am never, ever, going to make things easy for you Get used to it.” 

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: pure fluff and a happy ending as promised :)

A/N: the final chapter 😭❤️ see my full note at the end

Masterlist

Chapter 37

“What’s your location? Over,” the walkie talkie on the kitchen counter crackled.

“Dino chicken nuggets are coming out of the oven as we speak. Over,” you replied back.

“Roger that. Over and out,” Jo stated and the walkie talkie went back to static.

Spencer got them as a gift for her and she would constantly have one with her, giving the other to someone before leaving the room so they could talk through it.

You headed out to the back porch and down the steps into the yard with a big plate of nuggets and dipping sauces as well as some juice boxes and applesauce for the twins.

“Coast is clear. Do you copy? Over,” you spoke into the walkie talkie.

“Affirmative. Bring ‘em up,” Jo exited the main part of the treehouse and you saw her on its little porch.

Spencer had built her a little pulley system with a basket and rope so she could lower or raise items up into the treehouse instead of carrying them up the ladder.

You placed the food and drinks inside and then made your way up the wooden ladder.

“Thank you, Mommy,” Jo smiled as she bit into a nugget.

“No problem, Cadet Jo,” you ruffled her hair up a little as she giggled.

You ducked to get through the door of the treehouse and sat down on a cushion on the floor next to Spencer who had both the twins in his lap.

“What are we watching?” you asked as you clipped the twins’ bibs on.

“Cars!” Jo cheered.

“I wanted to watch a subtitled Russian film but I was ‘boo’ed when I made that suggestion,” Spencer grinned as he grabbed the spoon to start feeding the babies.

“Hm I wonder why,” you teased.

Once Jo got the movie playing on the laptop, she took a seat in your lap with the plate of nuggets and took turns eating one, then handing one to you, then Spencer.

Once all the kids were fast asleep in your laps and the credits were rolling, you turned to Spencer.

“You and Derek really did a good job building this treehouse, love,” you complimented him.

“Anything for my family,” he smiled, then leaned over to kiss you.

-

It was the morning of Jo’s 8th birthday party. You wanted to make it extra special in light of what happened at her 7th birthday party.

Spencer kept reminding you that it wasn’t your fault a psychopath shot you and sent you to the hospital but you just wanted to give Jo the party she deserves.

You rented a bouncy house and an inflatable water slide. Spencer was doing a magic show and Penelope was doing face paintings. You baked a huge stegosaurus-shaped cake from scratch. No kid would be bored and Jo would have an amazing time.

You settled for having it in your backyard instead of the park now that you had plenty of room. The whole team came over earlier to help set up.

Penelope got all her paints organized on the porch table as Spencer set up his mini stage for the performance. Hotch and Derek filled the slide with water while you and Emily carefully brought the massive cake to the table outside.

Jo came running outside already in her swimsuit, eager to get the first splash in the water slide.

“You have to come with me, Uncle Derek,” she insisted.

“Jo, I don’t have my swimsuit on,” he replied.

“You’re in athletic shorts. They’ll dry quick,” Savannah, his girlfriend, yelled from where she was setting up the food table.

Derek looked to Hotch to help him out. Hotch pointed back to Jo who was giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Fine,” he groaned, taking off his shirt which elicited a holler from Penelope.

Jo made her way up the steps with Derek right behind her.

Jo sat down in Derek’s lap and then turned around to face him.

“Okay, ready?” she asked him.

Derek nodded and then pushed off, sending them both down the slippery slide.

“Weee!” Jo exclaimed as they slid down.

“Again,” she demanded, “Where’s Daddy?”

“He went to put his swimsuit on, Baby J, so he can go with you,” you told her as you set Ollie down next to Ophelia in the playpen outside.

“Coming, Princess!” Spencer ran outside and scooped the little girl up in his arms as he trekked up the steps.

“How about we go down like a penguin this time?” he suggested.

Jo nodded enthusiastically as Spencer got onto his belly and Jo laid on top of him and wrapped her hands around his neck.

“1…2…3!” Spencer pushed off and they raced down the slide again, Jo giggling the whole time.

“Again!” Jo said.

“I think we are going to have to buy one of these, love,” Spencer called over to you, laughing and running up the stairs right behind Jo again.

-

“Please welcome my lovely assistant to the stage,” Spencer spoke in his magician tuxedo.

You waved as the audience clapped. You were wearing a sparkly red sequin dress to compliment Spencer’s bow tie.

“I am going to make my assistant…disappear,” he stated.

The kids in the audience gasped.

Spencer took your hand and guided you to the big black box in the center of the stage.

“Just like we practiced,” he whispered to you as you stepped inside.

You winked and he kissed your hand as he let go and closed the door.

Spencer knocked on the door a few times and wiggled his hands for some showmanship.

“Okay, on the count of 3. We’re all going to yell ‘Abracadabra’,” Spencer explained, “1…2…3!”

“Abracadabra!” all the kids yelled.

Spencer set off a small smoke bomb and quickly opened the door, revealing an empty box.

The kids all screamed in wonder.

“Bring Mommy back!” Jo yelled.

You had to stifle your laughter from behind the fake wall in the box you were hiding behind.

“Your wish is my command, Princess,” Spencer closed the door again.

“To reverse the spell, we need to say the exact same word,” Spencer stated.

“Abracadabra!” the kids yelled once again.

This time, you opened the door and the kids clapped enthusiastically.

“For this next trick, I need a volunteer from the audience,” Spencer smiled.

All the kids’ hands shot up in the air.

“I’m going to have to go with the wonderful birthday girl right in the front row,” you took Jo’s hand and escorted her up onto the stage.

“Jo, I need you to pick a card, any card. Show the audience but not me,” Spencer fanned the cards out in his hands and closed his eyes.

Jo picked the ace of hearts and showed the audience.

“Now, put it back in the pile,” he said.

“Alright,” Spencer opened his eyes and began to shuffle the cards, “Is this your card?” he asked, holding the eight of spades.

“No, Daddy. Try again,” Jo said.

“Is this it?” he questioned, holding the queen of diamonds.

“No, Daddy.”

“Oh,” Spencer smacked his forehead, “I know where I put it,” he pulled off his top hat.

Spencer then proceeded to pull a bouquet of flowers, an endless handkerchief, a rubber chicken, and many other silly things out of his hat that had the kids in tears from laughing.

Finally, he pulled out the ace of hearts, “Is this your card, Princess?”

“Yes, Daddy!” she beamed, hugging him.

-

Jo’s birthday was a complete success. She was completely worn out by the end of it and slept in late the next morning.

But when she did finally wake, she was eager to try out her gift that you and Spencer had gotten her: a big kid bike with no training wheels. It was purple which was her favorite color with a white basket on the front and a little bell on the handlebars.

You and Spencer were going to teach her how to ride it today. She padded up with some knee pads and elbow pads and her helmet.

You had the twins in their double stroller with mini bucket hats on to protect them from the sun.

“Okay, Jo. Me and Daddy will run with you for a little but then we’re going to let go but you’re going to keep pedaling,” you explained to her.

“I’m scared,” she replied, looking at the street in front of her.

You were practicing in the street in front of your house because it wasn’t very busy and it was flat. Plus, you could leave the twins in the stroller in the driveway.

“It’s okay, Baby J. You’ve got all your padding on so even if you fall, it won’t hurt at all, I promise,” you assured her.

“I believe in you, Princess,” Spencer kissed her helmet-covered head.

“I’m ready,” she nodded, moving her feet to the pedals.

“That’s my girl,” you smiled.

You and Spencer began to jog alongside her as she pedaled.

Spencer looked at you, “Okay, Princess. We’re letting go.”

You and Spencer both removed your hands from her bike and she continued to speed forward.

“Yes, Jo! You’re doing it! ” you encouraged her.

“Princess, can you turn around and come back to me and Mommy?” Spencer asked.

Jo carefully steered her bike and headed back to you both with a massive smile on her face. You and Spencer were loudly cheering her on.

“Okay, try to brake,” you said.

Jo slowly came to a stop right in between you both.

“You’re a pro!” you grinned as you both knelt down to hug her.

-

Jo had been biking for the past hour and she was still having a blast.

You and Spencer were laying in the front yard with the twins in your laps.

“Mommy, Daddy! Look!” Jo exclaimed as she did donuts on the bike.

“We’re looking, Baby J,” you laughed, “Great job!”

You leaned your head on Spencer’s shoulder.

“Y/N…” Spencer began.

“Yes, Spence?”

“Thank you,” he replied.

“For what?” you looked up at him.

“All this,” he motioned to Jo, the twins, the house, the yard, the chalk drawings on the driveway, the rocking chairs on the front porch, the doormat that said ‘The Reids’, everything he ever dreamed of, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you kissed him, “I’d give you the world if I could.”

“You already have,” he smiled.

A/N: thank you everyone so so so much for reading, commenting, reblogging, etc.! i love you all so much. i’m probably going to miss this too much and do one-shots of this series in the future. also, this series hit 14,000 on ao3! that’s crazy that that many people read my work. thank you, just thank you! -dory <3

main taglist (just ask to be added/removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @jswessie187 @rem-ariiana @hoodpankow @mochionly @spencerreid-187 @babymetaldoll @fics4arainyday @ssavanessa22 @all-tings-diego @idonotexiste @beepbooptoop @tvandfanfic @mggsprettygirl @big-galaxy-chaos @navs-bhat

series taglist: @doctorreiding @reidsfish

[reidingmelodies]

Dinos and Tigers and Donuts, Oh My!

Summary: Spencer wanted one thing this year: for your kids to plan his perfect Father’s Day Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Includes: dad!Spencer, heavy mentions of Father’s Day, mentions and consumption of food Category: Fluff Word Count: 2.6k A/N: This isn’t my favorite, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for awhile all the same! Happy Sunday ♥️

 When Spencer was called away on cases your house seemed to lose a bit of its charm.  Mornings felt more tiring than ever before, the afternoon slumps dragged on for what seemed like years, and dinners, even with babbling five and seven-year-olds at your side, were a little too quiet.

This time around though, things were different.  You woke up to your five-year-old daughter sitting by your feet, her mind preoccupied by one of the search and find books Spencer had bought her the week prior.

The space next to you was empty, a piece of paper lying where your husband previously was, and you knew exactly what it was going to say before you even picked it up.

Good morning, love,

I got called on a case this morning, but it’s local and the team thinks we can wrap it up by tonight.  The kids both ate breakfast- and PSA that they were a little too excited I was going to be gone for the day.  I don’t know what they’re planning, but good luck.  I love you, and I’ll see you soon.

-Spencer

Unlike Spencer, you knew exactly what the kids were excited for, and it had everything to do with Father’s Day being tomorrow- you just hoped he would be home in time to celebrate like he predicted.

You folded the letter and placed it in your nightstand along with the others you’ve found gracing his pillow in years past when your bedroom door opened just the slightest amount.

In walked your seven-year-old son, comically exaggerating his tip toe motions as he stage whispered to his sister.  

“Is Mommy still sleeping?” He shifted his gaze in your direction, all effort to keep quiet out the window when he saw your eyes meet his.

“Mom! Guess what?” you opened your mouth to respond, but your daughter beat you to the punch.

“Daddy left for a work trip this morning!  So, we can make our plan today while he isn’t here!”

There was no denying that your kids loved their daddy, that was for sure.

“That’s so great!” you matched their enthusiasm with ease, getting ready for the day while they kept brainstorming in the background.  

Just last week, you had asked Spencer what he wanted to do for Father’s Day over dinner, and the children were as attentive as ever, eyes wide and lips pursed as they waited to hear the plans for the big day.

But, to their amusement, Spencer’s only plan was that they plan the entire day.  His reasoning was that they were the reason he was a dad so they should be the ones to decide what to do, but really you knew the truth was that he overheard their whispers about having the perfect plan for his day.

A plan you were finally going to be let in on, so it seemed.

The three of you made your way down to the kitchen where you settled down with your breakfast, eyebrows raised in enjoyment at your children.  They were sat across from you with a stash of markers and fresh index cards, and they had a few stacks of previously filled out index cards resting along the center of the table.

Ah- so that’s where they’re going with this.

It had become a bit of a family tradition to have a family scavenger hunt whenever you had a full weekend together.  You and Spencer were all too familiar with the concept of cherishing the time you have with your loved ones, and there were many a weekend where Spencer was called away, or you were busy with a million other plans ranging from extended family gatherings to birthday parties or weddings.

It was all the more reason to make the moments where it was just the four of you count even more- and thus, family scavenger hunts were born.

When they were toddlers, the scavenger hunts centered around finding certain shapes or colors, be it in the house or at the park.  Once every item was checked off you would have a family outing of their choice: the go to choice used to be another trip to the park (the one with the ‘fancier’ slides this time), but with the upgrade to slightly harder scavenger hunts centered on science and math they’ve upped their prize to ice cream.

What could you say? They were Spencer’s kids through and through.

“Wow!” you exclaimed, relishing in the beaming smiles on their faces, “do you guys want to make a scavenger hunt for daddy?”

Two enthusiastic faces nodded eagerly in your direction as your son grabbed one of the red markers.

“Yes! And we can have dino pancakes in the morning and get donuts after our scavenger hunt at the zoo- all of daddy’s favorite things!”

Dino pancakes were a Sunday morning staple in your home- you would use a cookie cutter to cut out a dinosaur shaped pancake, and the kids would eat those while you and Spencer would eat the ones with the dinosaur outline in them (and a few regular ones for good measure).  But donuts instead of ice cream?  That was new.

“That’s a great idea, I’m so proud of you guys for working together to plan this,” you praised, “but why donuts?”

Your daughter peered up from the index card she was drawing flowers on to answer your question, “because they’re daddy’s favorite and it’s daddy’s day!”

“And for our scavenger hunt we want all the animals to spell out ‘best dad ever’,” your son tacked on at the end, already beginning the task of writing numbers and circling them on the front of the card.

That was another newfound tradition for your family.  Now that the kids were learning to read, the two of you would try to have the first letter of each answer spell out a certain word or phrase.  Sometimes, it would be something like ‘I love you’ or ‘hello’, other times it would be the name of a special someone that would be joining you for ice cream afterwards (so far ‘Aunt Penny’ and ‘Uncle D’ were their favorite ones to come across).

You grinned once more, moving to grab your laptop and pulling the Smithsonian’s National Zoo site up to look at their list of animals.

“Alright, my loves- let’s do this”.

***

Three hours, eleven index cards, one snack break, and two very patient children later, your scavenger hunt was finished, index cards clipped and ready to go for the following morning.

Each index card had blank slots, the number of which corresponded to the name of the animal, on the front of the card with three fun facts written on the back.  In retrospect, Spencer wouldn’t even need the slots (or more than one fun fact, to be fair), but you knew he’d make a show of trying to think of each and every animal tomorrow afternoon.

Yet another reason you loved him.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur, all of your energy going into spending time with your kids. But once they went to bed, that energy was refocused into prepping for tomorrow to take your mind off the fact that it was nearing 10 PM and your husband wasn’t there.

You couldn’t bear to think of your kids disappointment if he didn’t make it home that night.

Outfits out and pancakes ready to be made, you made your way to the couch when the clock struck 11:30 PM, ready to settle in for a movie while you awaited his return but there was no need- as you walked into the room your husband made his way through the front door.  He looked as exhausted as ever, but the glimmer in his eyes proclaimed what you knew to be true.

He was happy to be home.

***

7 AM the next morning found you face to face with two wide eyed children gently shaking you awake, joy radiating from them as they saw that their father was fast asleep next to you.

With much persuasion in the form of puppy dog eyes, you made your way out of bed and into the kitchen to start the first task of the day: dino pancakes.  

Your little helpers set the table and brought Spencer’s gifts from the coat closet and into the dining room in the meantime, and as you placed the last pancake on a plate two arms wrapped around you and pulled you back tightly.

“Good morning, darling,” his raspy morning voice brought a soft smile to your face, and you leaned your head back to kiss his lips in greeting.

“Happy Father’s Day, Spence,” you laid another kiss against his lips, pulling back as the patter of little feet made their way into the kitchen.

“Daddy!  Happy Father’s Day!”

“Daddy!  Come see your gifts and eat pancakes!”

Two little voices fought for the spotlight, and Spencer kneeled to the ground to wrap the both of them in a hug.  You laughed at the scene, watching as they squeezed him just as hard before grabbing onto his arm and leading him to the dining room table.

“C’mon, Dad,” your son pulled his chair out and pushed his gifts closer to his seat, “let’s eat and open gifts!”

“Gifts?  You guys know I don’t want anything,” his brows furrowed as he looked at you, but you shrugged your eyes and took a bite of your pancakes in response.

“You always say that,” you rightly claimed, “and we always buy you gifts anyway- it’s practically tradition”.

You had a point, there.

Breakfast passed by in a blur of conversation, dad jokes, and present unwrapping.  And just like that, Spencer was the owner of new books to pass his time on the jet, a 5k puzzle you were sure he’d solve in an hour flat, and a homemade Father’s Day shirt with your children’s handprints decorating a globe, the words ’Best Dad in the WORLD!!!’ gracing the blank space.

His eyes sparkled when he saw the shirt, and you swore you’ve never been happier to call that man your husband and the father of your children.

Granted, that thought passed your mind no less than fifteen times a day, but still.

Within the hour, the four of you were out the door and on the way to the zoo, Spencer’s Father’s Day shirt proudly on display.

You drove with a grin, the radio turned off in favor of listening to your children explain today’s scavenger hunt to Spencer.  They were practically giving a word for word verbatim of what the two of you usually told them pre-scavenger hunt, all the more proof that your kids were sponges.

An equally exciting yet terrifying thought.

You were at the zoo within half an hour, your hand intertwined with your son’s while your daughter latched onto her father, everyone eager to start the scavenger hunt.

“Alright, guys,” Spencer began, “what’s our first clue?”

“Mommy can read it!” your daughter piped up and you nodded, grabbing the small pile from her hands before reading the first card of the day.

“Okay, so!  This animal has six letters in its name, and your three fun facts are: whiskers help this animal detect objects around them which helps them navigate the dark, they’re the largest rodents in North America, and when they’re in danger they slap their tail on the surface of the water” you finished your explanation and watched as Spencer’s eyes lit up in recognition, but just as you predicted he dragged the process out instead of guessing right away.

“Hm, it sounds like we should go to the rodent exhibit first!” He proclaimed, and your kids nodded, walking in a row like little ducklings to the exhibit.

The four of you took your time looking at each of the animals, until you came face to face with the animal in question.  “Aha! I think the animal we’re looking for is a beaver,” his answer was met with cheers from both of your children, and you wrote the answer in the blank slots before continuing with the hunt.

At the end of the hour you added an electric eel, sloth bear, tiger, dama gazelle, alpaca, and degu to the list.  Eight animals down, four to go.

Which was fantastic, considering that your kids were starting to get antsy for donuts.

“Okay, guys!  Are we ready for our next animal?” You were walking hand in hand with Spencer, your kids skipping directly in front of you and eagerly shouting in affirmation at your question.

The four of you stepped to the side, and you grabbed hold of the fourth to last index card before reciting the hints.

“Alright so!  This animal is two words, seven letters in the first word and seven in the second.  They have whiskers that look like mustaches, they’re native to the southwest Amazon Basin, and they have claws on each of their toes but the big one”.

“Hmm.. I don’t know guys, what do you think?” Spencer turned to your children, smiling wide when your son giggled in response.

“We can’t tell you, Dad! It’s a secret”.

Spencer laughed, sighing in defeat as your daughter gestured for him to come closer.  He did as asked, leaning down until she able to reach his ear, “I think we should go to the monkey exhibit!”

Her not so quiet whisper brought a smile to both yours and Spencer’s faces, and a grimace to your son’s but to the monkeys you went, where you came face to face with an Emperor Tamarin.

From there you crossed a Von der Decken’s Hornbill and an Eld’s Deer off your list until you had one animal left.

“Alright, my love- last one! This animal is two words, three letters in the first one and five in the second.  They mainly eat bamboo, their fur acts like a camouflage when they climb in trees, and they live in temperate forests in the Himalayas,” you finished your spiel with a quick eyebrow raise towards your children, both of which were not so discreetly pointing at the red panda exhibit just a few feet away.

“Is it a red panda?” Spencer asked, giving both your kids high fives when they jumped up and down in excitement.

“Yay Daddy, you got it! And guess what all of the first letters spell? Best dad ever!” your daughter jumped into his arms and Spencer chuckled, spinning her around and laying a gentle kiss on her head.

“Is that so?” he asked, “you three are too nice to me”.

Truthfully, you didn’t think it was possible to be too nice to Spencer.

“How about our last surprise for Daddy now, my loves?” your question was met with enthusiasm from your little family, and you were back in your car and on your way to Spencer’s favorite bakery in ten minutes flat.

As you pulled up to the bakery, two eager children and one extremely happy father made plans as to what donuts they were going to eat.

It was decided that Spencer would get a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles, your son would get a glazed donut, and your daughter would get jelly.

And you? You had every intention to get your favorite too, but above all you were just happy that another amazing Father’s Day was in the books for Spencer.

The seventh of many.

***

thank you for reading!! if you’d like to join my taglist you can do so here 💕

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[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[wildernessuntothemselves]

hm this is dumb but after the previous punishment he decided to lock oc up in their basement or sumn for days and their daughter began to miss her....?? jfjdhfhd idk nvm😭😭😭😭

Tucking the girl into bed, Felix proceeds to pull out the story of Peter Pan, his daughter’s favorite bedtime story. But before he can start reading the story, his girl’s small voice interrupts him. “Where is mommy?” She mumbles, drawing the blanket up to her face. “

Felix closes the book again. “She’s in the basement taking some time out. You know how she gets.”

Felix had convinced his daughter that her mother doesn’t love her very much, that she never wanted to have her in the first place, and that she frequently goes down to the basement so she take some time away from her. 

That, of course, is not true. Her mother loves her so very much. She’s the only reason she doesn’t try to run away from Felix, because she’s worried he will hurt her little girl if she does. And the only reason why she’s in the basement is because Felix locked her there as a punishment. This time for what his delusional mind convinced him was her flirting with the barista at the donut store. 

But her girl doesn’t know any of this. Her father had deceived her so thoroughly that she really believed her mother really didn’t love her. Still, she was her mum and she missed her. 

“I know, but I miss her. Wouldn’t a bedtime story help her relax?” The girl pouts sadly, “I won’t even say anything. I’ll sit there quietly and not bother her.”

Felix sighs and pats the kid’s head. “Alright, I’ll ask her.” 

She smiles hopefully, “Thank you, daddy.”  ______________________ You hear your child’s voice through the recording Felix plays for you. You hear her ask for you and you hear his horrible lies. It breaks you apart.  “Stop this, please.” You sob, clutching onto his hands. “She’s my daughter. How can you poison her mind against me like this?”  “I wouldn’t have to if you’d just behave.” He cups your face in both of his hands. “Be good and I’ll give you everything you ever want. Love me and I’ll let her love you.” 

Bile rises up in your throat and you tear his hands away. “You can't keep doing this! I'm gonna tell her everything." You walk quickly to the door of the basement, telling your daughter how much you love her the only thing on your mind. You don’t get far. A hand coils in your hair and pulls sharply at your scalp, making you stumble back into the arms of your husband. 

His tone is not gentle anymore but sharp as the nails he digs into your cheeks. 

He gets scary, grabbing you by the jaw. “That child is a privilege not a right. I gave her to you as a present and I can take her away." Something about the way he said that makes you believe that he means more than just physically separating the two of you. You can see it plainly in his eyes. He doesn’t care for that child. He's only using her to control you.

"Now, are you gonna be good?"

Tears gush down your face. You feel sorry for your child and for yourself. But the only way you can save the both of you is to obey. ”Good girl.” His voice turns sweet again, and his grip on your face loosens to just a touch as he leans down to give you a chaste kiss. “I’ll show you how good I can be to you if you’d only behave.” _______________________ He brought her into your bedroom, something he had never allowed before, and you eagerly tuck yourself against his body so you can get closer to your child on the other side. “Thank you for coming, mommy.” The girl says and it’s all you can do not to break down and scoop her into your arms, exclaiming how much you love her and how you’d never leave her side if you could. But you can’t so you just hold her hand as you lay your head down on Felix’s chest, hoping she can feel your love through your skin.  He begins reading the story, voice low and raspy. You could feel the vibrations rise up from his chest like a cat purring. They, along with the warmth cycling through the three of you quickly lulls you into a drowsy state. This felt nice. It felt good.  And a small voice in your head told you you could have this more, all the time maybe, if you’d just do as he says and don’t upset him. You lift your heavy eyelids to look up at him. He pauses when your eyes meet and he smiles at you, a sweet gentle smile before continuing.  “Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.” ____________________ Send me a sentence and genre and I'll write a IYYM blurb about it