#the dead bug shell thing

[kazzledazzledazzle]

dead bug shell thing [grumbles] redtanktop [swinging sword around willy-nilly] bluetee

[beaft]

when i first moved in here this room was full of junk. now it's still full of junk, but in, like, a cool, aesthetic way.

(god help me when i move out and have to somehow pack all this stuff away again)

[appri-dot]

Thanks for the quick response! and how did he get to know The Fencer (I'm sorry, but I can actually mispronounce the name of another person's nutcracker), what is the relationship between them? and how does Woody treat people, and other creatures

Ehehe, Me and @ballcrusher74 (to my knowledge) don't actually have canonical story connection between our two Nutcrackers, its mostly me making annoying art of Woody wanting Fencer to kiss him (I just call Fencer "Fencer" I don't think he has a name)

Though if I had to guess in the vague scenario it was an actual meeting, Woody hops on scavanger ships and hitches rides to moons, and likes to detour. It is not unlike him to just waltz into a random mansion and almost get skewered by a vigilant guard. Their relationship is Woody desperately trying to rizz up a baddie/j

Woody code switches around people, humans: Talkative, "empathetic", kind. These perceived personality traits are circumstance to who hes with, he finds it easier to exist when he mimics the scavangers. But his connections with them tend to be fleeting because humans die a lot easier then a big wood man.

Other creatures he doesn't pay mind too, he eats the small ones and has fought a few big ones like protecting crews from eyeless dogs. The only significant thing is he can get into hour long stare downs with the bracken and the forest giant terrifies him.

[newts-and-sharks]

To the witches of tumblr, I kinda need help

I’m trying to start my connection to Loki, but I don’t know how to start. I’ve got the altar set up, I have electric candles in place of real ones (temporary/I plan to buy real ones in the future), but I don’t know how to start this all out. What do I do?

[fluffyartbl0g]

FUCKED UP BEETLE

PROBLEM

So you're having a totally fine day by all accounts and then it instantly goes to shit just because you pass by a fucked up beetle hidden in the grass. You've seen bugs dead all the time, so what. So what if its torn up wings and cracked shell definitely mean that some random kids fucked it up before it died. So what if your dad was drunk and high all the time and screamed at you and you fucked C over and you fuck everything up. SO WHAT. No amount of therapy or 'healthy coping mechanisms' or 'unpacking of trauma' will ever erase the ultimate truth underneath. You are intrinsically, hopelessly fucked.

-3 Volition: Fucked in the head

SOLUTION

You're going to wake up the next morning totally fine again. In fact, Harry's probably going to put some extra effort into making breakfast nice to cheer you up--which will actually kind of annoy you, but in a way that makes you feel all fuzzy and warm. Sure, you still get stuck in your head sometimes about sad shit, but you're dealing with it better and better, and the days where you actually feel like someone are beginning to far outnumber the days you don't. For now, you hug him a little bit tighter. You're safe now.

-1 Composure: Permanently a little bit fucked

+2 Volition: You're going to be okay

_

transcript under read more

VARIOUS CANDY WRAPPERS SPLAYED OUT ON THE TABLE: The label reads 'BLUE DREAM'. Unlike what its colour may suggest, it is not flavoured a blueberry or bubblegum, but vanilla.

[A red orb appears above Harry's head]

SHIVERS [Impossible: Success] - The air has been shifted ever so slightly. He's trying to breathe correctly, but blurs of thought keep flickering through his mind. This continued for the entire thirteen minute trek home.

PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] - A loud thunk rattles across the room as Cuno closes the door, he looks out of breath

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He's barely holding it together

CUNO - He looks up at you with a yelp, "Fuckin hell! Wasn't the pig supposed to be out investigating some shit?"

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - He didn't want you seeing him like this, answer his question, he'll leave if you ask him about it first.

1. "Did something happen?"

2. "You look like you ran a damn marathon kid, what's up?"

3. "I had to quickly come back to snag some important evidence for the case" (point to various candy wrappers)

CUNO - He scrunches his brow "That mean you're getting your ass outta Cuno's face soon?"

DRAMA [Easy: Fail] - Wow. He didn't even ask about the wrappers!

EMPATHY [Difficult: Success] - He doesn't want to be alone

1. "Did something happen?"

PERCEPTION [Difficult: Fail] - Cuno's hands tremble as he mumbles out a whisper of words you can't make out

1. Cuno?

[Harry reaches out to comfort him, but Cuno sees this and snaps at him]

CUNO - "NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED ALRIGHT? THINGS HAVE BEEN FUUUCKIN PEACHY TODAY"

"CUNO GOT A FUCKIN A ON HIS ESSAY, ABSOLUTELY WENT DOWN ON A DELICIOUS FUCKIN KEBAB YA HEAR?

CUNO - He pauses. "Nothin fuckin happened today. It's all me. Cuno's the one thats all fucked up"

He starts choking up by the end of that,

(a yellow orb is seen above Harry's head as he looks at cuno breaking down [it's reaction speed])

Harry hugs him

CUNO - "Fuck"

KUUNO - He hugs back tightly

[puzzled-pegasus]

Here's some silly little metaphors that I think the dragon tribes would use

SkyWings

“Don’t count your clutch before they hatch.” (Don't plan too much too soon)

“Gold is better than silver, but silver is better than nothing.” (If you can't do it perfectly, still try your best. Most dragons forget the second part.)

“‘Sorry’ can't suck the fire back in.” (The damage is done and now you're dead to me.)

“You been eating too much burnt meat or something?” (Are you nuts?)

“Stop all this smoke and use your fire.” (Stop rambling and get to the point already; or stop complaining and do something)

“Doesn't know his tail from his wings.” (Stupid or clumsy)

“You fly like a depressed pigeon.” (Slow flier)

“There's no fire in a rainstorm.” (Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get to work.)

“Nighttime is for the NightWings.” (What are you doing up? Go to sleep.)

SandWings

“She’s all rattle, and no strike.” (Like all bark no bite)

“A diamond in a pile of quartz.” (Like a needle in a haystack)

“You’re watering the cactus and ignoring the sapling.” (You’re focusing on the wrong thing; barking up the wrong tree)

“Everyone thinks the camel looks silly until the dry season comes.” (Don't listen to them, they don't know how unique and strong you are)

MudWings

“Crocodile tears.” (Fake crying in order to gain sympathy)

“You can only catch a trout if your mouth is open.” (Be open to new experiences)

“If the tree gives away too much, it ends up as a stump.” (Don't let people take advantage of your generosity)

SeaWings

“Happy as a clam in high water.” (Very happy)

“The flying fish feels like a fool when it sees an osprey.” (Don't compare yourself to others, run your own race.)

“Plenty of fish in the sea.” (Plenty more opportunities to come.)

“You’ve got ink in your eyes.” (You're blind to something important)

“Lobsters only die when they don't leave their shell.” (Keep yourself busy with new experiences and you'll life a long life)

NightWings

“Sleep is for the dead.” (Why waste your time sleeping when you could be productive)

“SeaWings know their fish and SandWings know their cactuses, but we NightWings know everything else.”(NightWing supremacy propaganda)

“Being nice to a deer never got one in my mouth.” (Other dragons don't matter, only your goals.)

“A prophecy always comes true.” (I told you so but more cryptic)

"You're counting the stars." (You're doing something tedious towards an unachievable goal)

RainWings

“Gray’s her favorite color.” (She's a huge bummer)

“A lemon is yellow on the outside, doesn't mean they're not sour.” (Referring to someone who is two faced or fake)

“I love honey, but I’d rather not get stung by the bees.” (I could do this, but it requires effort so I don't wanna)

“Nobody likes a rotten banana.” (Nobody likes a bummer/downer)

“Don't tie your tail in a knot” (don't get all upset)

“I have all my berries in a basket” (I have everything sorted out)

“You couldn't sneak up on a pineapple” (insult to one's camouflage skills, popular among children)

IceWings

“The seal who asks why the orca is chasing him is the first to get eaten.” (A favorite of parents telling their kids to shut up)

“Not the sharpest icicle on the roof” (kinda stupid or slow)

“Clear as polished ice” (i understand or see it very well)

“You're looking a little pink in the face” (you look sickly. IceWings can turn pink from eating too much krill; a symptom of malnutrition. This line can be applied to any illness.)

“Blue blood kills, red blood spills.” (Patriotic propaganda implying that IceWings win every fight

“The SkyWings toss their blue eyed hatchlings because they're worried they'll be as strong as an IceWing.” (More propaganda)

HiveWings

“Pretty is for the SilkWings.” (Vanity is stupid and impractical)

“If it buzzes like a bug and bites like a bug, it's a bug.” (Don't ignore the obvious)

“Clearsight works in mysterious ways.” (I don't know the answer to your question, now go away)

SilkWings

“It's not always good to know how the honey gets made.” (Don't stick your snout where it doesn't belong)

“She's got a couple of threads loose.” (Calling someone a little crazy, threads refers to weaving)

“The bee minds its flowers and the spider minds her silk, it's when they mix that bad things happen.” (Mind ya business)

LeafWings

“Flytraps only trap because the soil doesn't feed them.” (Dragons don't get angry out of nowhere)

“Looking like a leaf only hides you in the forest.” (Time and place)

“If a branch doesn't bend, it breaks.” (Be flexible)

“Even the corpse flower attracts the flies.” (Even someone who seems ugly to one dragon they can seem irresistible to another)

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ slashers scenarios | kisses! (part two)

♡ fandoms; Friday the 13th, House of Wax, Scream (kinda), Hannibal (TV), Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)

♡ characters; Jason Vorhees, Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Danny Johnson, Hannibal Lecter

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡ cw; suggestive content

♡ notes; i swear i have consistent groups of characters picked out i swearrrr

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

Jason Vorhees

> at first, he’s hesitant to even kiss

> one, it’s a gateway to more- part of his brain is still nagging at him for being involved with someone at all

> two, he doesn’t want you to see his face any more than you have to

> but god does he love it when you finally do kiss him, promising not to look and gently pushing his mask away with your eyes closed

> he suddenly gets what the big deal is and he’s hungry for more

> even if you’re super clingy, he’s ten times worse

> he wants to carry you everywhere- no one can bug you that way

> and it’s super easy to kiss you when he doesn’t have to stoop down (in comic canon he’s 7 ft we’re keeping that whew)

> sometimes when he doesn’t want to take off the mask- usually when he’s taking a break from working- he’ll just affectionately bump foreheads with you

> kinda like a giant cat, but he considers it a kiss

> he’d be worried for your health if you actually kiss the mask, he knows it ain’t clean lol

> you’d have to beg really nicely for hickies- and no way he’s biting you, he’s so nice

> he gets very flustered if you give him marks- but he’ll stare and admire at them in the mirror all the time until they fade

> his favorite kisses are first thing in the morning, when you yawn awake and gently press one to his cheek or forehead

> he loves that the first thing you do each day is love on him

Bo Sinclair

> king of PDA

> he’d call himself that unironically too

> to be fair usually there’s not many people around

> but on rare outings out of Ambrose, he makes good on the title

> he’s always got a hand in your back pocket , or on the small of your back, or around you completely.

> and his face pressed into your temple every opportunity, mumbling quietly to you whatever dumb joke he can think of and giving you little kisses

> he’s a biter, definitely loves marking you up and then bragging about it.

> on your neck, but in less visible places as well. thighs are a favorite

> he’ll go as far as to show you off to planned victims if it’s safe enough

> as soon as you’re alone together, even for the briefest amount of time, he pounces

> he kisses you rough and deep and creeps a hand up your shirt

> usually he stops just at your tummy, but that’s more frustrating

> and if he feels like being a little shit- which he always does, he takes more than a second to pull away when someone walks back in

> he’d never admit it, but the kisses most precious to him are the ones that no one else will ever see. ever

> he has night terrors often. he went through so much abuse and trauma as a child that it’s inevitable

> and each time he wakes up screaming, you hold him tight

> his head on your chest as you kiss the top of his head and rock gently

Vincent Sinclair

> he’s shy. eventually for you he comes out of his shell, but when it comes to PDA his anxiety always present.

> he doesn’t like his brothers seeing you kiss. or the dog

> he will hold your hand in front of them at least, and he doesn’t complain when you ghost your lips over his knuckles

> alone it’s a completely different story

> he loves holding and being held, your face hidden his hair and giving him gentle neck and jaw kisses

> the quickest way to get the mask off is to ask for a kiss

> he’s a sucker for that cute pout you do

> and he’s eager to oblige anyways, almost methodical with his gentle kisses

> he always has a hand on your cheek, and kisses slowly, savoring it

> and then he usually moves down, worshipping every sensitive spot

> he likes receiving marks more than giving- but if he does give you a hickey it’s getting photographed and drawn

> you’re his muse after all

> and he’ll go through periods fixated with drawing your mouth and neck when you’ve got these little love marks

> (and i have just. the clearest image in my mind of him putting on black lipstick and covering you kisses for a portrait he wants to paint. i don’t know if that’s anything but it’s definitely cute.)

> his favorite kisses are the most simple, when you’re checking in on him at work

> you don’t say anything, just hand him a mug and peck the mask

> and if he’s lucky you’ll linger, arms around him and chin on his shoulder as you peek at the canvas or little sculpture

Danny Johnson

> second runner up for king of PDA

> he’s slightly more relaxed, though he’s one to keep at least slight contact when he’s around you

> he’s just so possessive

> he trusts you wholeheartedly, but he doesn’t think other people deserve to even check you out

> so if someone looks too long he’ll give you a lingering kiss that makes you giggle

> because you kind of love his jealous streak- it’s playful even if he acts so serious

> he wouldn’t hurt anyone for just looking. probably

> he’s another freak that loves the mask kissed

> and also, another freak with a documentation kink- every single bruise and bite gets photographed

> and sometimes he’ll take a shot of you kiss drunk, lips swollen and eyes hazy and panting right after he pulls away

> those are his favorite pictures

> he loves coming home, still bloodied and suited up

> pushing his mask up and pulling you close to make out in the kitchen

> even if you’re whining that he’s staining your pajamas again

> he’ll tell you to shut up and put you on the counter, kissing you while standing between your legs

> and then he’ll kiss your neck, then chest, then stomach then…well you get the picture

Hannibal Lecter

> he’s an expert in everything he does- kissing is no exception

> he is surprisingly chaste most of the time

> he loves giving kisses on the cheek, the forehead, the top of the head especially

> and he’ll certainly briefly hug you and hold your hand in public, but nothing more

> it can be frustrating at times, especially if you’re an attention hungry person or particularly insecure

> and when you tell that this his eyes soften and he holds you close, murmuring reassurance

> from then on he tries to be more mindful of reading your cues and giving you plenty of love when you need it

> he loves when you ask for kisses

> whether it’s “pretty please kiss me?” or “can i kiss you?” , he loves when you look up at him all shy and mumble out the question

> he’s got a… dominant personality, he loves when you ask or ask permission for lots of things

> especially bites and hickies

> you’ve got to beg to get him to mark you- not that he’s hesitant to-he just likes it.

> and when he starts it’s all night, everywhere

> he’ll coo over you and tell you how nicely you bruise

> if you ever mark him, you’re in trouble

> the fun kind, but still trouble

> he loves breathless kisses- the kind you give him after doing something incredibly lewd

> just so full of affection and desperation and sloppy

[mewvore]

Salacious Scolipede: An Unserious Unsexy Fanfiction Born Out Of Maliciousness

I was stunned. Not because of my dick; I did in fact have it for many years, was born with it even, so I was sure I knew the ins and outs of the mechanics of it like the back of my hand. No, I was stunned at the why of my erection, because it was responding to something I never believed it would. A Scolipede.

As it sits between Nacrene City and the bridge to Castelia, on a rather balmy autumn afternoon, I found myself traversing through Pinwheel Forest. The forest, with its lush grass and various hollow, fallen trees hosted an array of pokemon. The passage to the bridge was either a minor inconvenience or a nightmare, depending on the amount of pokemon you happened have with you, and on that day I had a quite alarming number: zero. The dead wood that laid across the landscape created a number of passages to higher and lower cliffs, and I eagerly sought them out to take advantage of the many shortcuts to exit the forest promptly.

Most residents of Nacrene heard the tales and legends about the forest, some involving hostile ghosts, others involving hostile people. I would be lying if I said the stories had no effect on me; I did in fact believe some strange things to be possible at any time and refused to take any chances. So when the grass around me would rustle and shake, I would immediately increase my pace. Initially, it was a small jog, but by the time I was hearing a faint chittering of small teeth in front of me, I sprinted north, away from the main path and, consequently, deeper into Pinwheel Forest.

Once I slowed down and calmed my heart, I found myself at a small pond in the center of the forest. I was covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Despite being twenty years old my physical fitness was far below average. Even I was shocked at how far into the forest I had gotten with fear and adrenaline carrying me. As those faded and my breathing returned to normal, I collapsed to my knees, unable to hold up my own spindly frame after running what I thought to be several miles but was closer to several yards.

"Are you alright?" spoke a sultry voice in front of me. I looked up to see a Scolipede and immediately my penis stood at attention.

It really was that sudden and inexplicable. The rising surprise made me scuttle backward until I slammed into a tree, hoping the creature didn't have time to have seen the tent I pitched in my pants and with the new pain in my back I hoped to have my mind and body focused on that instead.

"You're rather clumsy, aren't you?" the Scolipede said, looking at me with a pitying glare.

"I'm sorry I-" I began, but before doing so I stopped. The Scolipede was sitting on the edge of the pond, its wet body glistening in the beams of sunlight that broke through the trees. The hard purple shell that covered it was glossy, looking almost hand polished to a fine sheen, with the soft dark flesh of its large stomach beneath moving slightly as it breathed in and out slowly. Despite sitting, the Scolipede was a massive pokemon, no shorter than seven feet tall with its long neck making up most of its height. Along its neck and down to its backside were several small protrusion that resembled claws, and while not visible as it sat with them tucked underneath it, it had four long legs it used to gallop around. It resembled a pokemon like rapidash or mudsdale, a creature large enough to ride but by all visible metrics was just a very large bug.

I had seen many Scolipedes in many books and programs on TV and while I couldn't recall any of them making me instantly horny, I could recall something important: none of them spoke. I stood up, wincing from the dull pain in my back and leaned from side to side, looking for a human who may have been talking to me but was blocked by the massive creature. I found only the pond glistening behind it, and a large bird pokemon that had flown down to take a drink.

"You're sorry?" It spoke again, confused.

"I uh. I'm not sure. Are you...speaking?"

"Can you hear me or not?"

"I can hear you. I think?"

The Scolipede stood up. Small drops of water cascaded down its body and dripped into the grass as it approached me. I slowly started backing up, before once again hitting the tree. The Scolipede had taken two relatively small steps and already covered the distance between us. It leaned forward, its neck lowered and the two of us stood face to face.

"Are you okay? Are you sick?"

"I'm good, I just...I'm confused"

"Oh, so you're lost in the woods"

"No. I mean maybe. I think I've seen this pond before"

"I see."

"I'm more confused about why...you can...talk...?

"You can talk, can't you?" The Scolipede looked at me puzzled.

"Yes," I began, stammering a bit before regaining my words. "But I've never met a pokemon that talks, is the thing."

"That seems like a personal issue."

"Excuse me?"

The Scolipede lifted it head and began to turn back towards the spot it had sat in. The patch of grass had a large beam of sunlight cast upon it, and even to me it looked rather inviting. The large body of the Scolipede swayed slightly as it took its small steps to return to lazily drying off in the sun. Once settled, it turned towards me.

"You don't have any pokemon with you?"

"I'm not really into raising pokemon."

"I see."

I wasn't a very strong conversationalist, and neither was the Scolipede, but at least the Scolipede had a reason. It was a pokemon. I had eschewed most attempts at conversation or getting to know many people, never attempted any trainer courses and was working as a delivery person. It was a job that required picking up and dropping off parcels, and very little conversational skills. I enjoyed it that way, until now, facing what could only be described as 'an enlightening experience'.

"So...do you have a trainer?"

"I don't."

"Do you live here?"

"I do."

"Do...all pokemon talk or are you like a special kind...or something?"

"I believe many pokemon communicate in many ways. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you know many humans that casually get erections while talking?"

I immediately turned around to hide my shameful short-sword from view. The brief conversation had me me forget about the struggle in my actual briefs. The Scolipede let out a light chuckle. "I'll take that as a no, then." it said.

"This doesn't happen, like this is something new, I'm sorry to bother you. Goodbye." And on that note I started to leave the pond area. The back pain didn't stop me from attempting a full sprint, but my dick made it less of a run and more of a three legged race. I wasn't exactly a star athlete on the best of days so I couldn't say if I'd have gotten far enough to avoid it, but the Scolipede, in one jump, had leapt over my head and landed in front of me, making a thunderous crash onto the forest floor. A slight tremor and a gust of wind blew away debris and leaves, and caused me to fall flat on my ass.

"What? Not a fan of flirting?" its sultry voice whispered into my ear. In a flash it had leaned in, and was now slowly beginning to lower it body on top of mine. The deliberate and gentle lowering of its weight to not crush me was meant to assure me that it meant no harm, but its speed and size made me panic anyway because of course it did.

"Please don't kill me."

"Why would I kill you?"

"Because of my penis."

"Because of your penis?"

"Yes."

"I'm not mad at you for having an erection if that's what you mean"

"Well that's good."

"I would however like to have sex with you."

"Well that...I don't know about." I looked at the Scolipede. Its immense size and stature were intimidating, but the smooth voice it spoke with and its deliberate tone betrayed its presence as a dominating monster. My ears, and apparently my dick, had fallen for whatever charm the creature was creating, but my eyes and brain were absolutely not yet won over.

"You seem to have reacted to my pheromones. I assumed that's why you came running through the woods alone to find me."

I laughed, nervously. "OH that? That was, well, you know, you see I'm a coward? And I was running through the forest to get to the other side quickly. Huge misunderstanding."

"Even the erection?''

"Even the erection."

The Scolipede slowly lifted its body off of mine, and backed away to let me get to my feet. I dusted my pants off and stood up straight, as did my member. Despite the persistent shocks and perceived peril my dick was stiffer than a fresh pressed suit at a funeral.

"I'm sorry. This time of year I get rather aroused and it seemed like your body was reacting to mine. And I might have mistaken your timidness for arousal."

"Well you know how it is with humans, right?" I laughed.

"I don't."

There was a slightly lengthy pause as the two of us stared at each other. The Scolipede was inquisitive and looked for deeper understanding for something I was positive was so obvious you could tell from the fact humans didn't lay eggs.

"Humans and pokemon don't mate with each other."

Another long pause, this one seeming to stretch way beyond a reasonable amount of time. I began to sweat a little, as the half closed eyes of the Scolipede seemed to be burning a hole in my very soul. I sat there staring into its eyes, searching for meaning in the freakishly long amount of time it took for either of us to break the silence.

"Oh, you're serious?" It finally said.

"Yes! What, do you think I'm lying?"

The Scolipede looked puzzled. "Not that you're lying, but that you think humans don't have sex with pokemon is..."

"They don't."

"They absolutely do."

"Are you sure?"

"I've slept with several."

What can only be described as 'violent throbbing' started up in my pants and I quickly placed my hands over my dick. "Okay maybe this is just a you thing, you ever think about that? That maybe you met a couple of weirdos?"

"No."

"Well please start!"

The Scolipede let out a gentle scoff and turned to walk past me back to the pond. "You'd be cute if you weren't so strange."

"Thanks. Good luck with the...sex."

"You'll know where to find me if you want me."

"Okay. Goodbye." I began my hobbled sprint once more back to the main road. I turned to see the Scolipede trotting beside me. It leaned its neck downward and, placing its head under my butt, lifted me into the air, where I proceeded to slide down to the nape of its neck and rest on it back. "I'm starting to think you genuinely don't know what the word 'goodbye' means"

"If you really didn't want sex, the least I can do is offer you a ride outside the forest, as an apology for attracting you."

I began to respond, but the up and down motions from the trotting was giving my dick its own kind of ride. My cock was pressed against the Scolipede as I clung hard to avoid slipping off. I had never rode a Ponyta but I assumed it was similar, minus the unintended arousal. I sat in silence as my ride to the forest entrance made its way through the foliage.

"Here you go." the Scolipede said. After a short trek, we had made it to the exit leading to Skyarrow Bridge. I slowly slid down the side of the Scolipede and started my pathetic hobble to civilization. "If you change your mind, I'll be at the pond."

"Yeah. Thanks."

I watched as the Scolipede turned and sprinted off into the forest, graceful yet powerful as it jumped over a cliff back to where I had stumbled upon it.

I walked out of the forest into the blinding light of the sun. The darkness from the trees had made me forget it was still midday. As I began walking to the bridge, I realized I had once again regained my proper gait. I was no longer struggling with my incredibly hard dick. I looked down to see in place of a hard rod was a stupidly sized wet stain that covered the entirety of the crotch and inner thighs of my pants. I prayed that I had simply peed, but the pungent odor made it clear I had just cum all over myself riding a pokemon. I sighed heavily and muttered the only thing that I could the entire way to Castelia.

"Why me...."

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

could we get a little something for a friendly loot bug reader who constantly tries bring scrap to crew members? like as an offer of friendship? :0

maybe the other monsters consider them the baby of the group and have an “it’s on sight” attitude towards anyone who hurts them, accident or not?

You were a rather friendly Loot Bug who just tries to make friends no matter their species, offering scrap to the humans in orange suits and helmets who often show up.

They keep talking about finding loot, so you figured they'd appreciate your assistance!

Most are surprised bc normally your kind steals their scrap the moment their back's turned, but they're willing to trade a less valuable item to you in favor of whatever you were offering.

Some, however, get "trigger happy" with their shovels and may just start swinging it at you.

Luckily you have a tough shell, but even then...you feel sad about them attacking you for no reason :(

It happens more often when you fly, so you stopped doing that.

But one day, you're trying to offer them a gift box and they assume you stole it instead.

Next thing you know, there's a bright green laser hitting you and it was super painful, leaving you unable to move.

Meanwhile, someone back at the ship sees a shit ton of red blips on the monitor closing in on their team.

And that's when chaos ensues:

A Bracken grabs the aggressor's head, a Mimic gets ready to puke blood on them, a Jester spawns in, a Coil-Head blocks their only way out, a Thumper bursts through a vent, and a Nutcracker readies its shotgun.

The only one who doesn't threaten them is the Ghost Girl, who makes sure you're okay.

You hear the employee crying out how it was an accident and they didn't mean to fire the zap gun at you, but your friends were ready to murder them anyways.

Yet..you didn't want to see any of them die :(

So you managed to convince your buddies to spare the group as you still had your gift for them.

The employees think they're dead and buried, but are shocked when the monsters back off.

They just...stare as you happily offer the giftbox to the closest human, who nervously takes it and opens it to find something quite valuable inside--something that would set them WAY over quota.

They leave unscathed and the person left on the ship wonders how tf they all made it back alive.

But with their survival comes an important lesson: never mess with a Loot Bug's kindness.

The only reason the facility didn't become a bloodbath was because of you and you alone.

Going forward, the crew will leave all their "weapons" on the ship next time they visited you.

[secondtolastfr]

actually no i have opinions about everlux

when dusthides dropped so many people said "it could have been a modern, it's not breaking the mold enough" and when fathoms dropped people compared it to nearly every other breed we have (mostly skydancers, pearlcatchers, guardians). but now we finally have an ancient that 1) most definitely could not wear apparel and 2) looks entirely unlike any other breed we have it's suddenly too much??

"how can it move? it doesn't make sense!" while i can get the argument of proportions to a degree i don't think we can apply actual biology to a fictional creature, especially a bug dragon that is neither mammalian, reptilian, insectoid, or in any way real. also we should be used to weird/unrealistic dragon proportions by now, given fae neck, tundra arm/foot, and aberrations in general.

"why is it fat?" why the fuck not?? i cannot emphasize enough that dragons aren't real and i don't get why we're fine with a million skinny tube-bodied breeds but we draw the line at one more fat breed because "no healthy animal looks like that irl!" the rhetoric used around the fatness is fucking vile. i've seen them described as bloated, diseased, pregnant (???), grotesque, and a lot worse. it reeks of fatphobia and i would think for a playerbase like ours we'd do better.

"we have too many bug dragons!" when veils dropped people said they weren't buggy enough so staff made aethers, and when aethers dropped people said they weren't buggy enough, and now we have a dragon that is Undeniably A Bug people suddenly don't want an actual bug dragon??

"bugs are disgusting!" ...that's probably the one argument i can't go up against. if you don't like bugs, if you have a bug phobia (idk what it's called), that's fine. but not everything on this site is for you. and that's okay! the best part about this site is that if you don't like a breed, you don't have to have it. i'm sure they'll release something you'll enjoy eventually, but at least let the bug lovers have this one.

"they don't look elegant enough to be a light breed!" who the fuck said light is an elegant flight?? pearlcatchers are stuck-up cowardly gossips who eat their shells, vomit up pearls, and then annually vomit up more Pearl Juice to make their pearl bigger. imps have to be buried properly or their dead bodies will melt into an undead monstrosity. the lightweaver calls the imps a literal mistake, pearlcatchers and imps fucking hate each other, and to top it all off there's a fucking zombie dragon destroying the area. what about any of that says elegance to you people. any elegance associated with the light flight comes from the users, not staff.

also i've seen so many people say "i want an eldritch horror breed!" or "i want something biblically accurate!" okay. riddle me this batman: how the hell would they pull that off. it has to look in some way draconic or like some kind of actual creature (not an irl creature ofc), so it can't just be a disembodied Thing With Eyes. we already have a many-winged breed (auras); tentacles and extra wings are already terts we have access too, and multigaze and other eye types already give us the eye horror. what the hell would staff be able to give us that 1) doesn't break their own ToS 2) doesn't draw too heavily from religious iconography and 3) still looks like a dragon that all flights can use.

[crevicedwelling]

so... isopods are crustaceans, so if you had like, enough of the meat, would it taste like shrimps or lobster or crab or whatever? or just like bugs?

“bugs” is a lot of things. the taste of bugs varies. this is akin to saying a plant “tastes like leaves”

if “enough of the meat” means a really big isopod, Bathynomus giant isopods are occasionally eaten and supposedly do taste like other large crustaceans. if it means a bucketful of smaller normal-sized land isopods, I can’t imagine they would taste like much. isopods have more shell and stomach contents (soil) than meat, so most of the meal would be isopod poop and calcium carbonate. one redditor seems to have fried and eaten Porcellio hoffmanseggi and found them to be like crispy shrimp but I’m hesitant to offer more than a sample size of 1.

do also note that dead isopods spoil in a matter of minutes and quickly take on an ammoniac stench. I assume this is why some languages refer to them as “bed-pissers” (Dutch pissebedden).

[mxmorbidmidnight]

Ppssst dead bugs are free spell ingredients. Find them in the grass, in the window sill or dead in thine shower. They are indeed very useful. So many things thou may use them for dear, really. Perhaps the claws off a cicada shell for protection, parasitical and more pest like creature for cursing, moths for all sorts of whimsical purposes, insect wings for flying business and beetle shell for protection. Now off shall thee go!! To forage with thee!!! (But so be careful dear, don’t touch anything still alive or particularly spikey or colourful).

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

Your Rasmodius looks so good! I loved the post with him and Abigale together and I feel so bad for our resident wizard :( any HC of him Abigale?? I’m completely invested!

Oh boy don't I have hcs

He's secretly thankful that he didn't have to raise her because he knows he wouldn't be a good parent to a child. "Teenager that can be reasoned with" is alright though

Between her and the farmer's efforts, Rasmodius is slowly learning everyone's names

Despite how chatty they both are in the comic, 7 out of 10 of their meetings they just do their own things in silence

He bribed the farmer 5 life elixirs to learn her favorite foods. After this, if you visit him on Sundays sometimes he'll give you one of those dishes :)

After Sam's 8-heart event concert, there's a conch shell in his study. Interacting with it will have it play the music of their band

She refuses to help him cook or brew potions beyond taste testing. All the better, because his senses of taste and smell are so dead

She asked him to teach her some curses once, and that's how she learned 1) he doesn't know any curses, hexes, or jinxes, and 2) he has a lecture-rant ready for that subject

She's joining the list of People Bugging Rasmodius For His Appalling Lifestyle (Linus, Welwick, Krobus, Travelling Merchant, farmer). She doesn't like how cold he keeps his tower (it's for book preservation) (he values his knowledge more than his own comfort) (no need to read deeper into this at all :) )

She's secretly thankful he doesn't ask about her parents (hahahahahaha—)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

gnarp Gnarp parents!

I imagine Reader's species are kinda genderless in genetic terms(that or they're like snails), so you can interpret the Gnarp Gnarp parents however you want

Big pink is based on Mantis and Moths/butterflies

Green bean is based on Grasshoppers/Lotus' and ants

AAAAAAAHHHHHH! I WANT TO HUG THEM AND GIVE THEM HONEY AND NECTAR AND LITTLE BISCUITS AND COOKIES!!!!

Mama Gnarp is awesome! Her wings, her arms, her fearsome fangs and glowing eyes and generally large, intimidating self- (I wonder what her name should be? Something fierce, or sweet? Would it be a type of bug, or flower, or dangerous plant?)

Papa Gnarp is a dapper fellow! Sharp joints, strong claws, mandibles, amd extra thick chitin, he's a strong boi! (He'd have a strong name or something dorky/sweet, be it bug or flower or dangerous plant)

And together, they made Gnarp Gnarp Reader, the fierce little beetle-looking bby! Reader gets the best of both of them! (So extra strong, super hard chitin/shell/exoskeleton, string mandible and horn and claws, four arms, springy legs, wings, etc.)

(Oooooo... I love them. What are they like? What do Gnarp Gnarps do? Pollinate diffent planets? Bring dead ones back to life? Take over planets amd ads them to to vast colony/hive/brood? Some strange mix of all of those?)

(What did Mama and Papa Gnarp do for a living? Where were they in the hierarchy? And did they have Reader on their own, or are they actually, somehow, Scott or Jean's kid too? Or some other alien villain thing's kid, like the Brood or the Phoenix Force?)

(These two are perfect. Mama Gnarp looks like a moth I have in my bug collection!) (It's a small collection, but so far I have: a honey bee, a bumblebee, a moth, a spider, and a hornet, I think? I did have a spider, but... it didn't preserve well) (it liquefied, which was... bleugh, to clean up) (I'm an amateur at this, I just pick up already dead buggy fellows, then store them in my jars and bags) (I did collect a cicada shell one time) (they're cool)

[its-rat-time-babey]

I watched Mossbag’s new video on the Pale Kng’s Biology and it made me realize something about Vessels.

They’re dead. More specifically they’re zombies.

As Mossbag points out, the eyes of Vessels are sunken, like the inside of their shells are hollow, just like the many corpses found in Hallownest.

Vessels are made by taking an egg from the Pale King and White Lady and sticking it in the void, where the void seems to literally fuse with the egg. Given how void reacts to basically every living being like some sort of fantasy radioactive material, slowly poisoning them from exposure until they die with void leaking out of their eyes, this no doubt kills the child in that egg.

But the egg still hatches, and out comes a walking corpse, an empty shell reanimated by primordial darkness.

It has no mind because it is dead.

It has no will because it is dead.

It has no voice because it is dead.

Ghost and the other vessels don’t appear to ever grow because they’re not alive. Their bodies are not capable of growing because their bodies are dead. That’s also why they don’t seem to need food or water (or sunlight honestly, as their mother is some sort of plant).

This even explains a thing about focusing.

When Hornet heals herself in the Silksong demos and trailers, she swiftly surrounds herself with silk and seems to quickly patch up all of her injuries, sewing wounds shut and healing damage, made easier by the soul, the lifeforce of a bug that keeps them alive, infused into her own silk.

It’s quick and it heals several masks, several injuries, at once.

But when a Vessel focuses:

The process is slow, drawn out and requires several seconds of focus from the vessel where they cannot move. Where Hornet’s healing is quick and seems to be a technique with her silk that was developed by her and practiced until it was good enough, Vessel focusing is slow and seemingly built into the Vessel as a base ability, with both Ghost and the Hollow Knight being capable of it.

But then consider what Vessels use to focus. Soul. The literal lifeforce of other bugs. Another thing worth pointing out is that out of every creature capable of using soul, only vessels can focus. None of the bugs in Soul Sanctum can. Hornet can’t. Only Vessels can focus.

Focusing isn’t just magical healing done through soul. It’s the Vessel, an undead creature, forcing the raw energy of life into its body, forcing its dead body not just to live and begin the natural healing process, but speeding that process up so even the largest wounds heal in a matter of seconds. Focusing is forcing life energy into an dead body to get it to briefly act like a live one. That’s why it takes several seconds of the Vessel standing perfectly still and focusing to just heal a single mask while Hornet can heal several in a fraction of the time. Hornet preforms actual healing on herself, sewing up wounds with magical silk. A Vessel forces its own body to live and heal itself naturally in a fraction of the normal time.

And that’s not all. The only Vessel that’s actually grown by any amount is the Hollow Knight, who lived in the White Palace and was basically supercharged by the soul produced inside. Living inside the White Palace didn’t just give the Hollow Knight more power, it made the Hollow Knight’s corpse of a body alive again, giving it the ability to grow like a living creature.

Vessels are Zombies, and focusing is a surprisingly fucked up process.

[dailydemonspotlight]

Dead Lobster - Day 135

Race: Wilder Alignment: Dark-Neutral October 25th, 2024

HAVE A GOOD LOOK AT THE RADDEST DEMON IN THE SERIES!!!!

Ahem. Jokes aside, mythology takes many different forms. While we traditionally associate mythology with ancient cultures and the stories consisting of their religious beliefs, such as Greek or Egyptian mythology, the term 'mythology' as a whole is incredibly broad and can be applied to many different things: Urban legends, cults of personality, and basically any form of story and/or a widely spread idea throughout society. However, given the fact that a myth's many definitions can even just include a generally accepted belief around something, mythology can encompass even something as specific as a popular misconception. Case in point, today's Demon of the Day, one based off of one such misconception: the Dead Lobster, a myth grown around, of all things, the culinary arts.

According to popular legend when it comes to cooking seafood, Lobsters need to be cooked alive or else they'll end up poisoning the rest of the pot with them. This belief actually does come with quite a bit of truth to it, though it's not nearly as absurd as the legends will claim- the popular misconception states that, even in seconds, a dead lobster will end up poisoning not only itself but also everything around it, but this is only the case if stored in high temperatures. A dead lobster, if prepared properly in a short timeframe, is still safe to eat. However, the prizing of freshness in general has led this belief to being somewhat radicalized into every single dead lobster being a potential danger if consumed.

The reason for this lies in the decomposition process of a lobster. While, for the most part, a lobster is incredibly hardy and is incapable of dying traditionally of old age (though they still can, it's a very long story,) when one dies it experiences a total shell death brought on by the releasing of several different enzymes that literally go into it and shut down its internal organs. The enzymes that keep a lobster alive and prevent it from experiencing cell death are released upon the death of the lobster as well, polluting it and making it essentially become poisonous. However, while a lobster will become septic upon death, one can keep this process from occurring even after the lobster's death by keeping it cold and properly cooking it after the fact, as it'll slow the speed of decomposition.

Still, this eventually led to the idea that any dead lobster is a bad lobster, and soon the misconception spread throughout culinary circles, essentially making it a form of myth... in the world of cooking. To an extent, I'm not even surprised that the culinary world has its own mythology. Chefs can be weird. Naturally, as the idea grew, so did the severity of it, and it went from food poisoning from eating a dead lobster to actually dying upon eating a dead lobster. This leads us back to SMT, finally, where we see what the hell a dead lobster is doing among the ranks of biblical demons and gods from many different mythologies.

The design of the Dead Lobster in SMT, which is a demon unfortunately only exclusive to Megami Tensei 2, is an incredibly interesting one for a variety of reasons, but I take particular interest in the bug-like wings. The insectoid pair of wings seem to be based off of many types of insects, primarily seeming to be those of a fly, but what's more important is the association of insects. Many types of insects are poisonous themselves, after all, and the idea of wings on a dead being also vaguely allude, hilariously enough, to stereotypical depictions of cherubs. It's almost like the Dead Lobster in the series is the spirit of a lobster ascending to heaven... ah, how tragic. Also, I don't know where else to put this, but Dead Lobster sounds a lot like Red Lobster, the fucking food chain. I don't know what they were cooking, (but maybe it was lobster?)

lober