#the cisgender little girl who i used to be was WEIRD

[xanderscollection]

Gonna be real with ya chief, I was writing weirder fanfic than I was now when I was 12

[cripplecharacters]

Hello, I'm writing a character that is autistic. I'm autistic and white (afab) and my character is black (amab), can I use my own experience with autism as a "draftc for his character? If not, what can I do to make the writing feel correct/original?

(sry if I made any grammar mistakes, I'm not a native speaker)

Hi asker,

Ultimately, autism is both race- and sex- and gender- neutral. Symptoms and traits are not going to vary drastically because of any of the above things.

So yes, you can use your own experience as a basis for your character. What you'd need to pay more attention to is the responses of other people to your character and the culture that they're being raised in.

For example, black disabled people are treated especially heinously by law enforcement, so if you were going to include anything about that, a little black kid might be taught as much as possible by his family to be careful around cops and develop a script and to not stim around them. Masking and not stimming in a case like this isn't a case of hiding your true self, it's about protecting your life and safety. And yet, this doesn't actually have anything to do with this character's autism being any different than a little white boy his age. Just that it is treated differently.

And, like any character of color, the only way to make them isn't just to make them live the same life culturally than a white person and then change the color of their skin. Researching about their culture and including bits of that in their life is important – things like food, values, hairstyles, cultural events, holidays, and such.

I want to add that the assigned genders of your characters don't matter as much as you think they might. I know it's common to refer to 'female/girl autism' on the internet as its own separate beast, but there isn't really a material difference in symptoms and traits. Some traits will be seen differently socially by others, like with race, and people might be treated differently depending on their sex about how they behave, but the behaviors themselves are not divided nicely on a gender line or anything like that. That misconception, really, is just born from misogyny, sexism, and societal expectations, not from autism itself being different.

Hope this helps,

mod sparrow

Hi,

mod Sparrow covered the actual question, so I'll mention the AGAB part.

There is no sexual dimorphism related to hormones, genitals, or chromosomes in autism. The severity of a person's symptoms or how they experience them is unrelated to any kind of sex characteristic, nor to a past decision made on the basis of at-the-time appearance of the person's external genitals, which is what AGAB is.

The "girl/boy autism" is a sexist dichotomy that is completely made up and presents girls as inherently less disabled by their autism. It erases the severely disabled girls and women who do have autism and shows "girl autism" as more manageable and pro-social than "boy autism" which is impossible to control and anti-social. That's nonsense and the same kind of erasure of women as in every other minority.

The only real difference that is based on gender is how it's socially treated by others, just like mod Sparrow mentioned. Men's autistic symptoms are generally considered more acceptable than they would be if they belonged to a woman, even if the symptom is exactly the same. If a man shows autistic tendencies, he can be considered "intriguing and unique", but if a woman did the same, she would be "off-putting and weird".

This, however, obviously isn't based on what the person's AGAB was. A transgender woman's autistic behavior won't be seen the same way a cisgender man's behavior would be. It will in fact put her under more scrutiny than a cis woman would be under, not less. AGAB is a past event that serves no function in this question, nor in most contexts. AGAB doesn't answer for gender, presentation, chromosomes, hormone dominance, organs, functionality of these organs, or anything else other than what someone arbitrarily said about a newborn. Categorizing people based on what gender they were assigned at birth - rather than any present characteristic - is bioessentialism.

I know this is not an answer to the ask, but please question what a past evaluation of the character's genitals would inform here that their actual gender wouldn't.

mod Sasza

[asuyaka]

Hiii, it's kind of a weird request so I totally understand if you ignore

Would you mind writing fluff with some comfort for Dazai with a trans male reader (ftm), when the reader is very transphobic (only) towards himself, because he doesn't want to be this way cause it's not something 'socially accepted?' the reader is rather chameleonic n generally cares a lot about how he's seen and if he fits in, going as far to change his whole way of acting based on who he's talking with or when he can't mirror someone's personality putting on a charismatic, playful, talkative facade. (Basically a social3 in detail but not manipulative if u know that term) because of his desire to climb social ladder and massive fear of lacking social acceptance, he tries to gaslight himself into thinking he's cisgender most of the time, which only makes him feel worse?? The 'all I want you to do is give me all of your love&applause and for return I'll be whoever you want me to be' type of performer.

Sorry for being picky but please don't write the reader as a submissive scared little thing that can't be assertive at all I hate that in comforts I beg u

★ - this hits so close t'home cause 've always struggled with my gender identity n'stuff then I realized there's a buncha labels, too many f'me to care about ! *^__^*

☆ - Dazai Osamu x FtM Reader!

♡ - really hope I wrote him well f'ya anon ! O(∩_∩)O | CW: copious amounts of misgenderin' (she/her & terms like 'girlfriend are used for the first half, please be warned !!) & transphobic language !

[Name] looked at his her the outfit in the mirror, a black body con dress with a slit that ran up [Name]'s thigh.

The longer [Name] stared at the reflection the more an urge to throw up formed. Dazai would be the door for their date, and every dress [Name] tried didn't sit right.

They were either too tight, not tight enough, too short, too long, or too boxy— the point was nothing worked.

It didn't matter if [Name] put on a skirt or a crop top, they made everything feel worse to the point [Name] wanted to call the date off, but that would make her a bad girlfriend, and she wanted to be good.

The doorbell rang. "Babe? You haven't answered your phone, are you okay?"

[Name] groaned and opened the door. Dazai glanced over her outfit with wide eyes. "Wow. Uh, nice dress, but what's the occasion?"

[Name]'s eyebrow raised. "What do you mean? I always wear dresses."

Dazai walked into [Name]'s apartment and plopped onto the couch. "No, you don't. You told me you hate dresses and skin-tight clothes."

She glared at her boyfriend, a deep frown on her face before scoffing. "Okay, well, I like them now. Girls like dresses anyway."

The brunette paused his actions and stared. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

[Name] rolled her eyes. "What did I say?"

"You're joking, right? You aren't a girl— I asked you out because you're a man, and I wanted a boyfriend."

Boyfriend.

The title made [Name]'s heart well, like a warm blanket draped over her body. It didn't cause that sick, gut-wrenching feeling like 'girlfriend' but they weren't a boy.

They couldn't be a boy.

[Name] gulped thickly. "...I'm not a tranny, Dazai. What would my coworkers think? My parents? I can't— I was born a girl, Dazai, I shouldn't... feel this way."

Osamu gently holds [Name]'s hands. "Baby, what are you talking about? You've always been my boyfriend, you being born a woman doesn't change that."

"But I... it's— Osamu, it's not right. If I act too masculine, I could lose my job and have my neighbors hate me, but I fucking hate having to act like somethin' I'm not." [Name] sniveled, wiping his cheeks at tears that began to form.

Dazai guided his boyfriend to the couch and cupped his cheek. "You shouldn't have to change yourself to make other people happy. You're my boyfriend, the only boy in the world I've genuinely loved, and I don't want to see you destroy yourself for the better of someone else—people who don't even know you."

"If you lose your job for being you, then you could work with me. I'm sure Boss wouldn't mind having a new employee."

With a gentle kiss, Osamu chuckled. "And I'd finally get some work done so I can relax with my perfect boyfriend in the world."

[Name] sniffed as his boyfriend pressed another kiss on his wet cheek. "...is it 'cause you're lazy?"

"Eh... not lazy, just... working smarter and not harder!"

"Not working at all doesn't count, Osamu."

Dramatically, Dazai held a hand to his chest and rolled on the floor. "Woe is me! My boyfriend keeps bullying me even after I call him perfect! What do I do?"

He lightly laughed and placed a soft hand on Osamu's hair. "Maybe take him on a date?"

The brunette immediately sat on his knees with sparkles in his eyes. "He still wants to go with me?"

[Name] kissed Dazai's forehead and smiled. Even with the thoughts swirling in his head, Osamu always had a way to make him feel better. "He'd be delighted to go on a date with you."

[golden-eye-ramblings]

Renatus Revol Headcanon Dump Part 1

Woo wooo!! Time for Renatus headcanons! He’s not just a simple delinquent and I intend to convince y’all on why :3c. This will have manga spoilers! Gif credit to @fallinblossoms

————

Renatus Revol

Height: 5’10/180cm

Age: 26

Birthdate: November 1st

Sign: Scorpio

Gender: Cisgender

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Bisexual

• While Renatus fits into the category of a delinquent brute with how lackadaisical and extreme he can be in terms of delivering punishment. He’s actually quite amicable like Ryoh and Kaldo. He’s just incredibly tired 24/7 due to his role and hasn’t gotten proper sleep in years(except for holidays, which he yearns for every day).

• Has developed the ability to sleep standing upright.

• His favorite food is fast food because it’s the only thing that’s usually available super late at night to eat. My man can NOT cook.

• Conversely his favorite drink is cheap beer because, once again, of how easily accessible it is during late hours.

• He enjoys reading ghost stories because it helps keep him up at night.

• Compared to the others who at least have decent homes or lavish spaces, Renatus lives in a cheap apartment. He still has things in boxes because he’s never had time to go home and truly unpack anything. The first thing one sees when entering his place is a single mattress on the floor, stacks of magazines and books, dirty containers of fast food and empty bottles. Truly a Male Living Space™️.

• Is actually quite the academic, although his memory isn’t what it used to be.

• And speaking of his memory issues. While I am inclined to believe that sleep may be a factor in it, I am also inclined to believe his immortality also plays a role in it.

• While he can regenerate at incredible speeds, it’s not entirely perfect. A crick in the neck? Simple, he just breaks his neck so the bones can set properly again. Back problems? Just break his back, no biggie. After his fight with Doom, his regeneration couldn’t keep up and he lost consciousness. And the healing process was not completely perfect when he came to(huge time shenanigans and mega manga spoilers aside). To summarize, he ended up with brain damage.

• People often think he’s forgetful because he’s just tired or lazy and doesn’t care enough to remember properly. While that’s *partially* true, it’s also because he has yet to really fully grasp how bad it really is. And he’s certainly not being careful with himself either. He’s always had memory issues but his lack of self preservation only exacerbated the problem.

• While he recalls that he gave up his mortality in order to save a girl he loved, he can’t recall if he did in fact save her. Nor even remember her name, or what she looked liked. He doesn’t think on it much in recent times, save for this weird funny feeling he gets in his chest whenever he traces his only scar.

• Renatus’ coworkers have yet to notice how bad his memory has gotten, Agito however has been assisting him in little ways. Such as leaving behind notes and helping him grab lunch and remind him of important events or work related things. He hasn’t noticed the changes fully.

• In terms of closeness with the other Divine Visionaries. He is closest with Agito, amicable with Tsurara, Ryoh and Rayne. Neutral with Orter. And on negative terms with Kaldo and Sophina. He enjoys teasing Sophina the most due to her strict school president like attitude.

• Does not remember Nerey. At all. Repeatedly even after Nerey has introduced himself several times. It’s unclear on whether or not he’s doing this as a bit or because Nerey’s genuinely not interesting enough to be remembered by Renatus.

[stupid-starkid-headcannons]

trans starship anon here im going into specifics

bug: nonbinary but masc presenting. they/he technically but he truly doesn't care, gender doesn't exist on bug world in the same it does to humans. also aroace(spectrum) (buguary qpr realness) and bi

february: straight trans girl!! buguary is also t4t suprise! i think her parents were really supportive growing up, and shes just unapologetically feminine i love her for it

taz: kind of nonbinary kind of gender fluid she doesnt care whats in her pants? a knife. also butch lesbian because i love her. i dont think they've ever been in a relationship really (shes a 16 year old leutenant i dont think shes had that much free time) but if they were to be it would NAWT be a man

up: genders a bit wobbly but mostly masculine. he/him but doesnt really care about pronouns, i think pre-injury he was pretty hegenomic - and also very unconfident in his masculinity. but after his recovery, and after his talk with bug, hes kinda found himself out! Technically cis but literally who cares. also i think hes gay

specs: transfem nonbinary i have never seen a cisgender computer programmer/j. any pronouns but primarily they/she. i think growing up they always had really long hair so people kept mistaking them for a girl and eventually she just stopped correcting people lmaoo. also silly hc: specs was a nickname given as a kid because of their glasses that just kinda stuck. also aroace. maybe lesbian.

krayonder: trans man for sure, he/him. kind of an unrelated headcanon but i think he wears alot of stupid fucking graphic tees (alpha wolf howling at the moon, galaxy space pizza cat etc) and cargo shorts and its horrifying for everyone involved. also bisexual (damn son you get no bitches for real)

tootsie: trans man, he/him but honestly he doesnt give a shit hes just here for a good time. to me, farm planet is actually really accepting gender wise it was pretty chill ! doesnt really label his sexuality at all but i do think hes been attracted to men in the past

mega-girl: technically sexless but uses she/her, im not sure if that counts as being trans but shes gender enough so it counts. surprise tootsie&megagirl are ALSO t4t(ish) get hit with my beam. i think genders a little weird for her because while she "is not a woman" (her words) she is a megaGIRL unit so. im not sure if that means shes programmed with gender or not, either way she is comfortable with she/her pronouns so Shrugs. also sexuality wise she doesnt really label but Technically pan

junior: honestly, token cis man. im sorry hes awful /LH I LOVE HIM. tbh i think he would have to take ALOT of introspection and alot of therapy to even BEGIN to be thinking about his gender. embodiment of that "i might be nonbinary but i have a job so idc about that rn" tweet. he/him but with a bit of self care he/xe 😈 hes also gay but he has a job so he dc about that rn

im normal about starship. theyre also all autistic

yes yes to all of it

[kazumiwrites-fanfiction]

Surprises, Surprises

SUMMARY: Azul is full of surprises, and you are too. WORD COUNT: 2.1k (wow)

WARNINGS: Trans male reader (he/him pronouns), canon divergent (it branches off after the prologue), Azul being Azul, insecurities (mostly Azul), mentions of dysphoria, mentions of transphobia, mentions of periods & period products

A/N: Give me more trans & male readers because games like this are never given enough of that- (especially in otome-like games) I apologize if this became really OOC but I uh. I tried. I haven't written for months- (this whole thing reads like a crack fic to me even though I was 100% serious while writing) Uh anyways so maybe this won’t be relatable for most but this is how I view my non-cisness. If this gives anyone dysphoria I’m sorry because I genuinely haven’t written for non-gender-neutral readers in a while (and I always used to write only fem readers) so uh. This is basically a self-indulgence fic because Azul is one of my favs. I love the three Octavinelle boys- My summary-making skills are dying guys

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

You never expected to land in a school for… boys. Obviously, since you were magicked away by some external force, it would seem odd that the magic that had isekai’d you would automatically put you in a school with hordes of cisgender men. I mean, technically the magic should categorize you as female, right? Not that you were complaining, of course, it just didn’t make much sense to your head. Hey, at least the Dark Mirror is supportive…?

Truthfully though, you were glad. And you quickly fitted into your weird life with stranger and stranger people. They never suspected that you were anything other than a cis male. How could they when you never said anything, and you were more confident by the minute? Sure, sometimes it felt like there was something off about you… But they always tried to rationalize it.

It helped that Ace, Deuce, and Grim, the three who were always with you, didn’t seem to be very bright. Of course you loved them, but they definitely needed to study more on their tests and exams. You had had enough with the scoldings from all of the teachers, especially with Grim. Of course, since you were technically half of a student, you had to get scolded alongside the little furball.

Classes that didn’t involve the use of magic went fairly well for you. Especially since Grim didn’t get the chance to mess things up (at least, not often).

Even though you didn't have magic, you could at least try to stop Grim from doing the obviously wrong thing during class (such as dozing off, pouring the wrong thing into a mixture, etc).

The one thing you were glad about in this whole mess of things was Sam. He helped you get period products (for a reduced price as he knows you're going to be coming often anyways). Anytime someone asked about it, you always brushed it off as nothing. Obviously you weren't going to tell them and get a fallout from that. Sam was basically the only person who had known that you were biologically a girl, out of necessity. At least he understood and was supportive.

As you blearily walked through the halls of Night Raven College, you sighed softly. You could never get used to the throngs of people in the many hallways that led to class. It was definitely one of the biggest schools that you had attended. And the fact that you always had to get woken up by Grim yelling at you… It sucked.

In your half-asleep state, you didn't notice a boy with a slightly eccentric gray jacket striding toward you. Not surprisingly, you bumped into him and lost your balance. You mumbled a small apology as you caught yourself, eyes flickering up to meet his gaze.

You froze slightly. This must be the infamous Azul Ashengrotto. You had heard about him from rumors, how he created contracts that came with a price. You had learned enough about Night Raven College to know that you should probably stay away.

Seems like you were a moment too late, however, as you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jumped in surprise before the boy that was behind you came to stand in front of you.

"Boo," he said with a soft giggle. His hair was teal, and he had a sharp grin on his face… Must be one of the Leech twins.

You blinked slightly, unimpressed. "Sorry, I kind of have to go…" You gestured slightly, cursing Grim mentally for just leaving you behind. Obviously the most caring creature you've ever met.

The teal-haired male frowned ever so slightly. "Koebi-chan, you aren't going to stay? C'mon, come play with us." He looked plaintive, almost like a kicked puppy.

Ebi? Oh, shrimp. Why was he calling you shrimp… That wasn't the point, you really did need to go.

"Come, Floyd, we can't stop kantokusei-san from going to class. Let him be a good student." Another tall, teal-haired boy popped up. Must be the other twin. It surprised you that he would have known your name - but you shouldn't have been. You were close to being famous yourself in this school, after all.

"Yes, Floyd, let us leave him alone." Azul spoke up, and his voice was very smooth - too smooth. One of a liar, perhaps.

You nodded slightly with a small, tight smile as Floyd let you go, quickly making your way to class. You let out a soft sigh of relief as you saw Grim's familiar face, him talking about how you were such a 'useless kobun' and how you should be 'grateful that the Great Grim is still with you even though you're so useless'. You weren't listening to it at all, just grateful that you had escaped the three Octavinelle boys (which Grim got mad at later).

You wished Lunch came sooner. You were always starving - maybe it had to do with the subjects that you didn't know anything about that you were being forced to learn. And to remember, as Grim wasn't one to remember anything. You sighed softly, gripping Grim by the scruff of his neck as you carried your tray (which had his food as well) to the table where you usually sat. At least Grim hadn't done anything too bad, like stealing. But still, he came really close, and you really didn't want to take any chances. Soon, Ace and Deuce joined you, bickering lightheartedly, and you all started talking and enjoying your lunch together.

Just when you thought you could relax, a familiar voice scared you with a 'boo' and then a laugh. You inadvertently let out a yelp, making the voice that you knew was Floyd's laugh again. "Koebi-chan, you're so funny, you're gonna make me want to scare you more!"

You turned to glare at him, but before you could speak, Ace grabbed your arm. "You know the Leech twins?"

"Yes, and I don't want to talk about it." You sighed, shaking your head. Before you could say anything else, a figure walked closer to you, and you sighed. Please, don't let him sit with us…

But it seems that whoever you were pleading/praying to didn't listen, as Azul Ashengrotto just sat down beside you. He was very obviously acting like he didn't care what was going on, but he was poised, waiting for you to talk. Definitely a smooth businessman, then.

You stared at Ace's and Deuce's gaping faces, feeling slightly amused for a moment before quickly turning back to the matters at hand (Grim didn't notice, he was too engrossed in his lunch (and would take yours too, if you weren't careful)). Even as Floyd was whining and Jade (who popped out of nowhere) was dragging him away, you still watched Azul. "So… Are you going to talk about why you aren't sitting with your friends?"

"I just wanted to get to know you, since you're a new student and all." He turned wide eyes on you, and you almost let down your guard. Almost.

"Nice try. You're just trying to get the better of me, aren't you. Let down my guard so you can create a contract with me?" You raised a brow as you watched him.

"Oh I would never. The mere thought that you would think this wounds me." What a drama queen. "I just wanted to get to know you, as one student to another."

Yeah, and you really wanted to punch him in the face. You knew you couldn't do that - it was against the rules. Still, it was particularly hard when you were pretty sure he was saying blatant lies. But you knew you had to play nice.

You put on a big, charming smile, one that felt like it could make you sick with how sweet it was. "Well, sure, I'd love to take you up on that offer. If you really don't want to hurt me?"

"Of course I wouldn't hurt you, who do you think I am?" He shrugged slightly, looking slightly disappointed in you. "I only want to help people."

Yup, definitely all an act. "All right. What do you want to know?"

As your conversation went on, you felt your guard gradually fall. He seemed to be very nice, and whatever you told yourself, it didn't seem like he was a bad person. You almost liked him. All too soon, the bell rung and lunch was over. You bowed your head to him slightly in thanks with a small smile, genuine this time, before turning to meet the two Heartslabyul boys' gaze, as well as that of your little gremlin. "What?"

"…Nothing," Deuce said before Grim started assaulting you with loads of questions, such as where did you know the guy, he looks really smart, do you think he could help us study, etc. You just shook your head, telling him that he should study on his own and that you were help enough.

Still, Azul seemed to be popping up quite frequently, which was always odd. Sometimes the twins were with him, sometimes they weren't. Although you were initially confused by who was who, you gradually started to remember their faces and voices enough to tell them apart. Although they seemed scary, they really weren't (although they did have their times… Especially Jade. You wouldn't put it past him to be a killer in disguise).

Azul just seemed to get odder and odder to you. You knew he was probably using you, but why would he keep on interacting with you? There was no way that he liked you or anything, after all.

Still, you found yourself gradually liking the time you spent together. Even Grim was commenting on how he was losing his kobun.

He did have his times of depression and withdrawal, but as he got closer to you, he gradually started to confide in you. About his worries about his appearance, about his feelings that he was powerless. That he needed more power, that he needed to shed his past.

And some part of that made you pause because it reminded you of yourself.

How you always tried to fit the mold, how you never felt right in your own body.

How you didn't know what to do when you think two completely different things about yourself.

You didn't tell him that you were trans though. Not yet. You couldn't destroy this little moment of peace in your lives.

It was selfish, you knew it was, but you couldn't help it. You were used to rejection from the people you cared about, even from other people who were around you, who didn't know you. So you continued to wear a delicate mask, hiding your true struggles.

Still, it got to a point where it was too much. You couldn't keep it from him anymore. You had to face your fears, even if it got you hurt.

So, taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door to the VIP Room. It was open most of the time (to you, anyway), but you always had to check. You were terrified of coming in while Azul was making a deal - who knows what kind of scoldings (or worse) you could get.

After hearing the words 'come in,' you walked in hesitantly. Azul had been shuffling some papers around before he looked up, seeing you. A small, genuine smile was on his lips. "Hello, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Almost immediately after he finished speaking, you blurted out, "I'm trans," and, in a big rush, you quickly ran away.

Azul for his part was confused and a little concerned. Had he heard you right? Trans? That was where a person's gender identity was different… Hmm. So did that mean you were a girl? Or a boy? He wasn't sure.

You, on the other hand, did not know the confusion you were putting the housewarden of Octavinelle through, just sitting inside Mostro Lounge. You knew you could've run farther if you wanted to… But too late for that thought, as Jade had found you.

Without a word, he took you back into the VIP Room (without much protest from you), where you had to meet Azul's gaze.

"…So. What pronouns do you use?"

You blinked. That was… Unexpected. "Uh, he/him," you got out. "I'm a boy. Was born as a girl, but I don't like to talk about that." You shrugged slightly.

Azul looked startled for a moment before he caught himself, and he seemed to be unsure on what to do.

"Uh… I'm still the same old me, you know."

"Yes, of course. I was just… Thinking about the similarities that we must have had in childhood. Especially the not liking appearances part."

Oh, absolutely. "Yeah… Yeah, there is that." There was a strange comfort that came in knowing that he also had felt similar (if not the same) things as you had. That he wouldn't judge you.

"Oh, and uh, by the way, I like you," you said after a moment. "Since I'm done keeping secrets."

You were definitely not prepared for the explosion of flusteredness that ensued from the octo-mer in front of you.

A/N: Yeah might do a part 2 if I get enough requests (and I don't get burnt out - I shouldn't be writing, I need to be doing summer homework-)

[bloomdigital]

#DevBlog: Bringing gender/sexuality into the conversation (with variables!)

A good piece of critique should haunt you. When someone (respectfully) points out a valid flaw or possible improvement, it sticks in your brain.

I don’t remember exactly when, but a player pointed out (respectfully) that they loved the relationship story with Marcel but found it weird that cagey, PDA-hating, UAE-born Marcel didn’t even comment on the fact that he fell for another boy in their playthrough. That’s not to say the Emirates exports raging homophobes… but there are certainly human rights infringements and cultural baggage.

As a queer storyteller, there’s the temptation to just let that be. Lots of us deal with enough homophobia/transphobia in real life, it’s nice to exist in a world where we’re not facing off with it in every conversation. There’s the other option, “playersexual”, where you can romance characters regardless of the player character’s gender. I actual really like the “playersexual” option, there’s nothing as frustrating as getting into a romanceable character only for the romance route in front of you to slam shut…

[cough cough] Cullen in DAI or River Ward in Cyberpunk 2077… [cough cough]

But human relationships are complex. Even if a person dates people regardless of their gender, presentation and sexuality, how they interact in a relationship may change depending on their partner(s)’s identity. Even beyond romantic relationships, an enby person dealing with shopping for clothes might have a different experience than a cisgender woman, who would have a different experience than a cisgender man. You get the idea.

So haunted by the Marcel-dating-a-boy observation, I wanted to see how we could play around with that in LongStory 2.

Ladies, gentlemen, enby cuties and cryptids, I present: var_presentation and var_pronouns

Quick explainer: In game design terms, a variable is a condition, choice or quantity captured and stored by the game you’re playing. The classic variable you’ll see is the binary True or False, but things like whichever trash baby you’ve declared your undying love to in Baldur’s Gate 3, or how many dragon bones you have in Roadwarden, or which Wonders you’ve built in Civilization… uh, whatever one they’re on right now… are variables the game might check later to give you different options or outcomes.

Variables can also be strung together into combos, usually using “and” and “or” statements. You’ve done “this” or “that,” you’ve unlocked “this” and “that other thing” and “this other thing” too.

Our new variables are set while creating your character in LS2’s yearbook. var_presentation’s conditions are “masc” and “femme”, while var_pronouns’ are “They”, “He” and “She”. Without boiling things down to something gender essentialist, we can make some assumptions about characters that hopefully aren’t too jarring in terms of game logic. Someone who is var_pronouns “He” probably identifies as a boy to some degree, “She” will probably identify as a girl, while someone who chooses “They” pronouns probably identifies as non-binary in some way, no matter what their presentation is. This gets even more fun when you use other combinations. How might a character who uses “She” pronouns but chooses “masc” presentation interact with the world, and vice versa?

We’re not interested in you walking into every single conversation and having the character go “HELLO YOU USE ‘HE’ PRONOUNS AND ‘MASC’ PRESENTATION, THEREFORE YOU ARE A BOY.” But it does give us a little more complexity to play with. So back to Marcel.

Let’s take a look at what’s going on here, game logic-wise. If you’re dating Marcel, you come to this dialogue branch. The game asks what pronoun you use: “He”. If you use something other than “He”, it elses you to the next section.

When I first wrote this scene I had it much more rigidly structured. To get this section of dialogue you had to be “He” AND “masc”—otherwise you would’ve gotten elsed—but I realized that was dumb. Boys can wear frickin’ skirts. So I cut the var_presentation check, but added in a little flourish if “His” presentation is “femme.”

Again, that’s not to say Marcel can’t be queer in some way if he’s dating a girl, or a non-binary person—actually, come to think of it, adding in some enby dialogue here would be really fun too… But by the game’s logic (and the principles of heterosexism!) Marcel went away to Dubai and didn’t really have to think about what it meant to date a girl. He has enough on his plate already.

We use these variables in other places too—a non-binary character gets some enby recognition from enby superstar Em, or the additional tension of back to school clothes shopping with your mom. Again, our goal with this isn’t to make gender and sexuality something rigid and prescribed. We just want to give our players the chance to explore a range of relationships, identities and stories!

BECOME A BACKER BY PREORDERING LONGSTORY 2 NOW!

[vrabbiit]

Hi i just have 2 lil questions.

what do you personally headcanon all (but the cleaning bots ofc😂) - security breach animatronics sexuality and gender identity plus pronouns ? O.o

And what would they like and dislike in a S/O?

Thanks=🍪

of course anon! just a heads up that while i may personally headcanon animatronics with certain sexualities, doesn't mean that i have any sort of issue with others headcanoning otherwise! they're fictional characters with no set identities, of course, and i encourage other interpretations! i'm also specifically using the terms masculine and feminine in terms of preference / identity so as to not be exclusive to people who fit in binary identities - as a nonbinary/genderqueer (as well as bi ace) person, i understand that language surrounding attraction and gender can be fucky sometimes but please know that not feeling as though you fit into my descriptions here does not mean you cannot read or enjoy my content - i always try to stick to gender neutral readers unless specified otherwise, so that everyone feels included or represented! that said, here goes!

glamrock freddy in my interpretation is bi, with little to no preference of the gender of his partner! he uses he/him, but that's as far as he's considered gender identity. he's naturally attracted to people who are kind or who seem to genuinely care, and while his more diplomatic personality can be a good level for more impulsive or hot-headed people, he generally tends to shy away from people who are outright argumentative - our boy does NOT like unnecessary confrontation for the sake of it. (this does not mean he will not stand up for what he believes in, just that he does not like when people want to argue for no reason.)

montgomery gator is imo unlabelled but multi-spectrum, with a preference for masculine partners (although he is by no means only into masculine / male people!) he also uses he/him, and while i haven't thought too hard about his gender i don't really see him as cis, so take that as you will! unlike freddy, he does enjoy confrontational people and he tends to not be as comfortable around people who he thinks are just agreeable to avoid arguments. he wants someone he can be himself around, and he is quite hot-headed.

glamrock chica i see as bi with a preference for feminine partners! she uses she/her, but i can also see her being open to using they/them or other pronouns! she's not picky about the personality of her partners, since she gets along with almost everyone! she does have a soft spot for shyer or more quiet people, though, as she thinks it's cute!

roxanne wolf i personally headcanon as a lesbian because - yeah, i just can't imagine her as anything else, and nobody else i've talked to really can either! she has attraction to girls of any kind, and any nonbinary folk who would include themselves in that pool of attraction! she's possibly the most enigmatic out of the main band with her preferences, but she likes people who don't immediately brush her off as self-centred or self-absorbed - there's so much more to her, and anyone who actually takes the time to get to know her will see her warming up to them a lot quicker than she would admit.

sun and moon, in my personal headcanon, both use they/them and he/him pronouns individually - there is not a cisgender bone in their body! neither of them really have a label on their attraction (or have really thought about it too hard), but they do have slightly different preferences for a partner! sun is, lovingly, a lot to take in sometimes, so his ideal partner is someone who either matches that energy or mellows it out - in general, people who are very negative to others repel their sunny attitude, but that doesn't mean they don't understand someone can have a bad day! for moon, he's a bit of a Menace and hasn't quite gotten past the "he likes you so he's mean to you" stage. granted, he's never cruel, but he finds themself fixated on people who can either handle his weird ways of expressing love, or who they just find plain cute!

djmm is, well... he's the dj!!! generally going by he/him or it/its pronouns, the dj doesn't really consider himself that aligned to romantic or sexual attraction! on the aro-ace spectrum, probably being under demisexual and demiromantic labels! for that reason, it's hard to pin down what he's interested in in a partner - it tends to vary from person to person!

you didn't ask, but vanny/vanessa? very heavy feminine preferences - she is for the girls first and foremost. for the guys? maybe, she hasn't figured it out yet! uses she/her, but like monty i also don't think she's exactly cis, so interpret that however you want! she's kind of also a menace who likes people she fins entertaining, but unlike moon she actually knows how to process her attraction into flirting!

[strangesmallbard]

i do hesitate to end shiv criticism with acknowledgment of her privilege. obviously no one has to empathize with shiv roy personally—once you break away from the Aristotelian drama, it’s really hard to empathize with a woman who covers up sexual assault and just made 3 million dollars from that deal—but her positionally reveals the lie capitalist patriarchy sells, and white cishet women often eat up. by further acknowledging shiv’s marginalization in her own cultural context, we can better understand white supremacy, misogyny, capitalism, and power.

for example: the baby. white supremacy needs more white, able bodies. according to the white supremacist belief system, these babies come from white, able-bodied cisgender heterosexual women (the only true women to people who ascribe to this belief system.) a woman is a wife and a womb. she derives all her power from her husband and her children. in the usa, power and capital are synonymous.

logically, shiv should be able to wield her considerable privilege (money) to break the glass ceiling. but she can’t. logan infantilized her; even though he could logically realize she was the ideal heir, she would always be his little girl. tom never could stomach his subservient role; that was bound to explode, eventually. her brothers sexualize and demean her; even though they love her, they would never accept her as the boss.

in s4, shiv tries to use mattson, only to be used in turn. mattson logically knows shiv is smart and capable, but most of all, he wanted to fuck her. any respect derived from his attraction to her; when he realizes she’s pregnant with another guy’s baby, he loses this respect. he’s also super fucking weird about women and doesn’t like when they’re powerful. shiv knows this information, and thinks she can play it smart enough to come out on top. but the heterocapitalist patriarchy swings the hammer, and shiv has to rely on the husband she once controlled for power, in the end. (and we cannot victim blame here—again, you don’t have to empathize with shiv to understand how everything went down.)

tl;dr - shiv roy can use her own considerable capital to gain power, but not ultimate power nor respect. even if she did win the job, she’d have to contend with misogyny tenfold. she’s the kingmaker and never the king. her brothers elected a fascist for president and her husband is in charge of her father’s company. we cannot diminish the role of kingmaker in reifying these harmful systems, but we can examine its many nuances to learn more about them.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

It follows you...

Yep. There it is. Bound to happen. This is still not as bad as Arizona - which, my followers should know, I fled due primarily to the concentration camps for tots, but this BS was ramping up as I got out and continued after I left. And, yes, the "children are identifying as kitty-cats" lie, baby-talk and all, has made its way here too.

Do you want to know why there's cat litter in some US classrooms, Canada? Because I know, and I'll tell ya.

It's so they can make an emergency bucket toilet in the event of a lockdown during a shooting. Children in the States go to school every day knowing they may die in any number of fun ways, and being shot is just one of them. To make them - and the rest of us - feel a bit better about that, ha-ha, we tried to make an absorbent material available for them to pee in while they're waiting for an active shooter to break down their door and kill them.

Now, you have much less of a gun problem, Canada, but that's a goal you can shoot for if you so desire! Ha-ha! I don't know what it is about the disintegration of American conservativism and the Republican party and democracy itself you find so attractive, but if you feel like you need that in your culture, you can have it! Your system has similar vulnerabilities to exploit! Adopt, adapt and improve!

We knew that, probably, we weren't going to find a safe place to land, just a relatively safer one. It's been good for me. I am finally getting healthcare - though it took a shitton of luck and perseverance. And I'm gonna need even more of it to keep fighting for a space for myself and others like me.

Canada, you are repairing the broken body of an anarchist who is willing to burn property and politicians to the ground to protect people. I don't want to show up to a protest and take attention away from others who need it by having a health emergency, so I'm relatively quiet right now. That will change (if my luck holds!). And, by god, you couldn't resist giving me a reason to get back out there, couldja?

Nobody is bothering to attack these "no gender or sexuality in school" liars on the basis of language. Which, inasmuch is they're trying to pen legislation, is the only way to go. If they get what they say they want, cis and het need to go in the trash right next to everything queer. That's... most of the curriculum. Everything referring to boys and girls, moms and dads, even the concept of children (where do children come from, again?). If nothing else, that should be rejected on the basis of how expensive it is.

But everyone in politics and the media seems willing to accept the comfortable fiction that cisgender isn't a gender and heterosexuality isn't a sexuality. It's implicit that we're only having a conversation about whether or not to teach the weird ones, but that is not what these people are saying. The protest signs and the rules and laws they write do not make exceptions. Well, that would look like discrimination! Because IT IS, motherfuckers.

I'm not ready to get out there and start making noise yet. I still got medication woes. Increasing the estrogen dented the amount of thyroid I'm able to absorb - as expected. I'm doing a little Flowers-for-Algernon and monitoring my symptoms so I can give the thyroid guy more information, probably I'll get back to him next week.

May I add that my hormone specialist does not deal with estrogen at all because, although it is a hormone, estrogen is gendered? I have to go to the lady doctor to manage my lady hormone, and then run back to the other guy for the rest of me. Conservatives, I would support a little less gender in society, if that was really what you wanted. I have a vested self-interest here.

Gotta make at least one more lap - gynecologist to endocrinologist and back - and then we'll see. Fingers crossed for a new angry NB in the new year! In the meantime, Godspeed to everyone out there trying to make a difference for the better.

[talisidekick]

Okay, this came across my dash, and genuinely amazing points are made here:

If you don't want to click the link, it's about dick-size and how the average 6-inch dick is being called "small" which makes the global average 4.1 inch~ to 5.4inch~ seem way smaller which will cause dysphoria for people, especially but not limited to trans folk. It's worth a read if you are cisgender or trans. If you have a dick, want a dick, like taking dick, or don't. It's just a good point in the life column. It touches on a lot.

I'm going to add a big semicolon (;) to this whole topic in a sense to make a related statement because I grew up with this shit in HIGHSCHOOL of all places and it had a pretty big effect on my life. This is why I'm not reblogging directly.

What I want to add is that in highschool this came up a lot. Having a "small" dick was seen as demasculating. I remember being bullied and asked "what are you, 5-inch?" like that was a bad thing. It totally skewed my perception of just penises in general, and badly at that! I genuinely didn't understand the obsession with dick size that boys and girls had, and this really kind of fucked me up a lot in life. All the comments, the jabs, the insults, it made it seem like bigger than 6 inches was just "better".

Well, it wasn't. Many people once you're older or even in highschool experiment with themselves with toys, dildo's, people, etc. They know what size they like or prefer and seldom few even want something above that at all. It's about comfort. And I've met more than a few people who honestly admit more than 6-inches is actually kind of terrifying. It took a bit to sink in that 6-inch plus wasn't average. I mean, it took years. And when I had asked enough people it finally sunk in.

Now, I know some people might be a little confused by this, but remember sex is about comfort. The average vaginal depth when aroused is 3 to 7 inches. If you exceed that, it can hurt. A lot of pornography, written, visual, and drawn, flat out lies. You can be too big, and if you want a fast end to a good time, you can end it quite quickly by trying to go too deep. Having a huge cock isn't better, it's a lie.

And this isn't even touching on individual preferences for sex! Some people don't care for deeper vaginal sex, for some it's entirely clitoral stimulation, or entirely penetrative with the most feeling being in the first few inches of entry. You simply may not need more than a few inches to absolutely blow your partners mind. This is why communication is key!

So if you're 4-5 inches or less, you actually are perfectly fine. If you're 6+, fair warning, you may run into issues. If you exceed the average higher end of around 7 inches for vaginal depth? Well, be prepared to not be able to use all of it. You may simply be too much.

I don't know where this obsession came from with big dick. What I do know is it has no bearing on peoples actual preference for size during sex. I can say I'm not sought after because full tilt I'm kind of big, instead, I'm kind of terrifying. No ones trying to jump me; upon learning my size practically anyone interested has taken a second to reconsider and the answer is really easy to see: it's too much. Honestly, kind of wishing I was average. Then I'd be within expectation.

Too long; didn't read? From a girl who obliterates the average 4-5 inch average dick size: it's not better up here. It's actually worse in regards to being comfortable during sex for someone else. 4-5 is perfect, average aroused vaginal depth is 3-7 inches, being bigger than than your partner can handle can be painful. Talk and communicate. Sex is about comfort.

[unsafe-chikku]

I have sort of mixed feelings on the whole “brony” thing bc I was deep in the paint of all that (pre-egg-crack tho so a slightly different perspective) from 2012-2016 ish)

I think it’s extremely important to note I don’t like the term or the origins of it all now, and if I met someone today who still used the label I’d keep a close eye on them bc many who do are in the 4chan bigot crowd.

However, It is interesting to dissect my experience a bit with this weirdness though.

But even way back then when I’d get defensive of “fellow bronies” 😒 I had to always admit that many sucked ass.

Since it had origins in 4chan lots of ppl who were in it were just absolute bigots and the worst ppl you can meet. I knew that in 2012 and I know it even better now.

The high defensiveness of their masculinity bc of enjoyment of a little girl demographic show lead to a lot of the worst behavior I’ve ever seen in a fan space. I think this also explains the abnormal hyper sexuality they inserted into the space.

Sure, R34 is a thing and I honestly really don’t care what ppl are making/into as long as it’s tagged properly away from kids/ppl who don’t wanna see it. It’s usually drawings/fics/ect made by a guy with max ten to fifty followers, who give a shit. Pointing it out gives more attention to it and makes more of it appear in my experience.

But the sheer volumes made and extreme lack of self awareness or in some cases just irrational vitriol about properly tagging nsfw shit…well there’s a reason the sane members scrambled to do Safe Search Roundups once a month to eliminate as much fetish/nsfw content as they could from Google safe search.

My mixed part of the feelings is that me and many others involved in all that became leftists and realized we were queer.

Bc having an online community where the common theme is “I am not being a Man in the correct way and it makes me very cool” is atttactive to ppl who are either “men” (nope!) or ppl who secretly/unknowingly want to be men but not like the cishet assholes in their lives, or just ppl who felt weird about cishet gender and sexuality in general.

(if you asked 2013 me if I was trans, I would have 100% believed when I told u I was a cisgender girl if I even knew that term then. Likely not lol.)

And I had a lot of great experiences with ppl in the community too. It legitimately helped me get out of the culty evangelical mindset I had been born and brainwashed into.

I even had a group I met with irl in college and no one there was more weird than me as ppl going to a private conservative Christian school afaik.

(One guy went on to go somewhat viral for making a really convincing Rayman smash leak years ago lol.)

Anyways, I just wish it hadn’t been through something that started on 4chan and was called “brony” (inherently alienating and sexist bc the idea is to pull away from the feminine while also co-opting it) and had a lot of pure bastard folks at the Peak of it (late season 1 through season 3).

I don’t even mean the nsfw stuff (though again that was abnormally rampant) since that exists for everything- I mean just honest to god so many bronies were just fucking bigoted assholes who considered it their god given right to post untagged porn and say racist shit and be sexist as hell.

However imo “brony” really became a huge misnomer after the Princessification of Twilight. A huge chunk of the original 4chan weirdo crowd fucked off, and even more after Equestria Girls, and it kept bleeding after that as more sane, queer and chill fans became more active.

This allowed the sane, queer, and chill fans to thrive in a smaller community with less scrutiny on them from outside and fewer loud assholes flaming their flutterdash fics.

It really was just “mlp fans” by season 6 or 7 but the original name was stuck for a while after that sadly.

At this point, those remaining mostly recognized the show for what it was-a well made show about tiny horses made to sell plastic horses to kids, especially little girls, and engaged with it that way.

It was actually fairly fun especially by 2016. I lost interest in late 2017 but the fond memories I have are mostly that era.

I’m so glad that the brony label is dead and mlp is back in the hands of sane, chill, and queer creators and fans.

[erigold13261]

is it transmed to say that every transgender needs to go through bottom surgery which is wrong to say

You worded this weird to me. I am not sober so I am probably gonna fuck up what I say if I just answer with a yes or no.

What I am gonna say is that you don't need surgery to be trangender. You can be a transwoman and still look entirely like a stereotypical "cisgender man."

There are plenty of transmen who like their boobs and transwomen who like their dicks. If they don't feel dysphoria from that then they shouldn't get surgery (and even if they do but they don't want surgery then they shouldn't be forced to get it to prove they are trans or to fit into societal expectations of what their gender needs or how trans people's bodies are supposed to look).

I always get confused with the term "transmed" but I THINK it means you NEED to surgery to be trans, which to me is not true (as I stated above). For me, you should be looking for EUPHORIA not DYSPHORIA when it comes to finding out if you are trans or not.

I have a very weird relationship with my gender, being mostly outside of it except for very little moments of this sense of "clarity" where I am like "oh shit I am a human being that is supposed to be a woman." Like seriously, if you ask people from my school about me, they probably wouldn't be surprised I turned out trans because almost everyday when I heard someone use "she" for me, I (outloud) would say "holy shit I'm a girl" because I legitimately forgot.

I've been mistaken for a boy most of my life because I always cut my hair short and barely wore "girly" clothes (which has changed recently as I wear more dresses and skirts now), but those "mistakes" by other people gave me a lot of euphoria in myself. Not just because I was being referred to as a man, but also because I was confusing people.

It was nice to know that some people saw me as a guy and some a girl (even now, that is why I keep announcing how happy I am when I get clocked as a guy at work). It's just euphoric to me.

I never really had any bad relationship with my body. I was just mostly numb to it or had to pretend it wasn't MY body to appreciate it. Which is why I will probably never get any kind of surgery to change my body (I MIGHT get top surgery, but I will NEVER get bottom surgery or start testosterone because I personally never want a micro penis or whatever it is called).

Everyone has different feelings towards their bodies. That's why you get people who love to dye their hair (either natural colors or unnatural) or get piercings or tattoos, or even full on gender reassignment surgery for every part of their body. Everyone has different needs and want to see themselves in different ways.

So I don't think everyone who is trans should be forced to get surgery. It wouldn't be good for everyone. Some people just want to socially transition, some want to go only halfway, some want the best of both worlds, of neither, to change fully over to the other side. It doesn't matter as long as they are really happy and have been told and understand all the risks involved and want to get this done (or to not get it done).

I don't know if your question is asking me to define what transmed is (which is a term I struggle to understand) or if you are giving me that statement and telling me it's wrong. But I gave my answer to the best of my ability right now and I hope you understand my stance on this subject (if they definition of transmed is that everyone needs surgery if they are trans, then as you can tell, I don't believe that at all).

[dropverses]

Priscilla, info from @/ashkinoshita

still relevant :

has no gag reflex

can use sign language (but isn’t very good at it)

is interested in the occult and Satanism ... mostly for aesthetics

would wear a bandaid across her nose. for the aesthetic

can speak a bit of Korean

sleeps with stuffed animals

huge believer in conspiracy theories

is of Norwegian descent

is intersex (cisgender)

is hypersexual

dislikes her own body hair, shaves on the regular

wears lingerie as outerwear

has wings

theyre grayish now

has an interest in body stitching & tattoos

enjoys weird teeth in a normal way

sadistic

outdated :

prefers overweight partners

she thinks theyre charming but has no real preference ?

has super curly hair

is an angel

she is now a Paroxene, a type of sleep paralysis demon

other tidbits from her original owner :

“(yu has) somewhat of a friendship with priscilla”

“they were both born/created monsters, so there was no transitionthey probably met through priscilla’s job, she’s a hairdresser and hazael was likely a customer of hers”

“priscilla is a pretty domineering girl who makes a habit of picking on other people .. sometimes maliciously. she doesnt actually enjoy hurting people, she just goes a little far in making fun of people, which she does light heartedly (well.. in her eyes) but the way she perceives things are different from how others perceive them. she is a little desensitised to things like insults and mean comments. she takes them more as jokes. shes fairly vulgar and has a very dirty sense of humour - it could go far enough for her to be considered a pervert. shes not excessively sexual on its own, but she uses sex as a consistent topic for jokes and speech topics.. she likes to embarrass people and her girlfriend is subject to this very often.. shes much softer on hazael than she is on others, though. shes grown to learn about hazaels sensitivities firsthand, and she actively avoids going too far with her.”

“priscilla is. shes vulgar and uses dirty words all of the time. just a tiny pastel goth angel girl”

“i dont really have too much on her yet! shes just a very obscene girl who likes to embarrass people and start fights.. shes pretty vulgar and belligerent and uses a lot of.. gross words.. shes kind of gross, and has a dirty sense of humour”

“priscilla likes pda a lot.. hazael prefers to keep their affections more private.. but she loves her girlfriend a lot, and is willing to show that publicly, even if it embarrasses her some. theyre both very physical with each other as well! lots of hugs and kisses and cuddling.. they both love the physical contact with the other. priscilla likes to intentionally embarrass hazael a lot.. even in private.. she thinks its really cute when hazael gets embarrassed. hazael just thinks its embarrassing (so embarrassing) and wants to cover up her face”

“priscilla is a small (4′10) and obscene angel who has a good amount of behavioural problems. shes incredibly vulgar with her acts as well as her speech. she likes to start fights, she dislikes faustus”

“priscilla is a super vulgar angel girl who likes to embarrass her girlfriend and start fights with other people.. like her girlfriend, shes really damn short, standing at 4′10. shes got a rectangular/blocky body shape and has like little to no fat on her body. shes just very thin and shapeless. she loves it. she is ABSOLUTELY aggressive and has fun intimidating or even annoying people. she wants to be the Top Girl, the Girl At The Top“

“priscilla is vulgar as hell and loves to cause a ruckus”

[bakafox]

Note: I found this in my drafts folder. It’s super old, but... had some conversations about this (minus the JKR bit) and like, also, Happy Pride Month and Trans Rights Are Human Rights

So it’s kinda funny as something reminded me of JKR’s long screed about how she wonders if someone might have ‘persuaded’ her to transition because she was a tomboy and...

Just- yeah. When I was little, I went through a phase of hating being a girl. Absolutely envying boys, because I was stuck in a conservative school/area that gave me hell for being a tomboy. The boys got away with bullying and bullshit, and I was constantly being berated for ‘not acting like a proper girl’ for pushing back, etc.

I threw out the frilly things I actually had liked. I threw out pastels, I threw out pink, the only girliness I didn’t try to throw out were my MLP’s and She-Ra dolls because in part my parents wouldn’t buy me war toys like GI Joes and because I still could play pretty vicious warlike scenes with them. (And did. Complete with that fake removable nail polish stuff that was really tacky even when dry on plastic for blood.)

But no I don’t think anyone would have ‘persuaded’ me to transition, because I am pretty sure I also was all too aware that frankly, even if the next day I just woke up a boy through a miracle from God with no work on my part, I still wouldn’t be allowed to fit in- because I did still like my ponies. I liked She-Ra as much as GI Joe, I liked mermaids, and most of the boys I wanted to be ‘like’ bullied me relentlessly about that shit, after all.

And I didn’t feel like a boy. I just hated being a bullied and abused girl, and I wanted to punch people.

Pretty sure if I was going through that today, at that age, and my parents were supportive in me exploring things, I might have tried out a different name or something, but ‘boyhood’ wouldn’t have stuck publicly any more than it did in my own head as I hit the other swing as it did go and went back to allowing myself pink, and frilly layers if I was dressing up, wanted to be like Dolly Parton, and so on, and started shaping myself around being a cisgender woman- just with the growing knowledge that there wasn’t just one way to BE a cisgender woman.

Basically other than probably getting more hell from all the people already giving me hell, publicly exploring gender options back then wouldn’t really have impacted me all that hard where I stand now, as a 40-something year old cisgender woman who sometimes flirts a bit with nonbinary just because ‘meh, it’s not a big deal’ and I ignore the things I used to do (like dressing up and wearing makeup) that felt like I was asserting myself in favor of being a hermit potato who’s online all the time and surrounded by cats.

This isn’t some kind of unique childhood development, I’ve always been aware that other little girls who were ‘weird’ were and still are treated like I was... but I’ve never just assumed that that’s the same as really having a self-awareness and understanding that ‘oh hey I AM definitely not the gender everyone tells me I am’

Actual trans and nb people have a very different awareness, and it can’t be forced inorganically one way or the other.

[sammygender]

every time i read one of the all so common transphobic articles about the worrying rise in girls transitioning or what fucking ever it’s only like two paragraphs before they start going on about how Many girls feel it is easier to come out as trans male than a lesbian. are you absolutely fucking kidding me. being gay is shit but this is not 1993 it TRULY is not that uncommon or that taboo. i am the first to say that it’s not as easy as the whole ‘gen z are so progressive’ movement makes out it is but the same applies to being trans one hundred fucking times more. sure, when i was 13 and i tried to come out to my mom as into girls she shut me down pretty quick, but by the time i was 16 she was ready for that because the truth is by this point gay people have been in the public consciousness for a while. meanwhile my transness destroys her. lesbians are in tv and they’re all over tiktok and sooooo many 12 year old girls identify as some variant of wlw now, in 2023, in an averagely liberal area. and the average liberal parent isn’t going to care Much if their kid is gay but they very easily might send you to conversion therapy if you’re trans. these days in the uk you don’t get isolated from a friend group the same for mentioning your ex of the same gender in most cases, but correcting someone on a pronoun gets you branded as the crazy transgender in a microsecond and then everyone’ll stay away from you. into more personal experiences: if i told my colleagues (of at least some i’m sure are homophobic) i liked girls (which they’d perceive as gay) i’d get treated weird sure but if my work found out i was trans and not just some quirky little tomboy who the kids mix up the gender of i would 100% be fired.

anyway sorry this is turning into a crazy little rant it just makes me so angry bc this bullshit is everywhere. and it cherry picks the rare detransitioner experience like the ex-gay movement of the 2000s used to and then tells the story of hundreds of other trans people through the eyes of a journalist or a medical practitioner who clearly comes into this not believing them and refers to people consistent in their identity as the opposite and expects us to do the same. literally makes me want to cry because it’s people who have never made the effort to know a trans person and they get to make all the decisions they get to write their little fucking articles in the spectator or the independent or the fucking guardian and they get to put it as this very clear issue where young girls are being duped and medicalised and told there is something wrong with them WHICH OBVIOUSLY ANY RATIONAL PERSON WOULD BE AGAINST and they don’t make any effort to try and understand even though people have been DOING this for hundreds of years it’s just never been this Public before and they’re so cruel about it. & what about the hundreds upon hundreds of adult trans people of whom transitioning saved them? & what about the fact that, in your entire article, you cite 2 detransitioners and just talk about how Certain you are that everyone currently transitioning will regret it without any actual other proof? do you realise that ninety percent of people who transition have no other options and have to do shit like cut off their family or work in different fields than they wanted or lose the ability to raise kids or be poor forever affording it or all of the above?? and of course even if they didn’t it’d still be fine but i just want to make the point to these fucking people that we’re not doing this for fun i would actually literally genuinely murder a human being if it let me be cisgender because it would be so easy & i’ve hated myself for being gay before sure but never to this insane point because at least the world recognises, these days, that homophobia isn’t morally GREAT, and we don’t get articles in every fucking newspaper about the cult of homosexuality young teenagers are recruited into. and i know the process of being trans is fucking weird. that’s bc it IS fucking weird. i just hate it so much no one makes one tiny effort to try and understand it’s just whiplash and Concern and I think we should be very careful what we let children do to themselves…. And like to be perfectly fucking honest i think we should be very careful that we don’t let children kill themselves bc transitioning has a crazy high reduction rate in suicides and if any antidepressant had that suicide reduction rate it’d be a fucking miracle. and yes we should treat kids for mental health before they transition but that would require good mental health services, wouldn’t it, which nobody seems to be working on implementing anyway? so is that an issue with trans healthcare or is that an issue with mental healthcare BC i think it is actually the latter. & i’m so angry that hundreds upon hundreds of people have just accepted this as truth.