#the chronic pain life lmao

[wingfooted]

*grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you* YOU HAVE NO IDEA YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE PERSON RN NOT ONLY YOU LEAVE COMMENTS IN THE TAGA OF MY POSTS BUT YOU ALSO LEFT LOVELY LONG COMMENTS ON BOTH CHAPTERS OF MY FIC THAT WAS MAKING ME FEEL VERY SAD!! THANK YOU MAY YOU FORTUNE KISS YOU ALL OVER

Ahhhh! I'm so glad my silly little comments in the tags are something you enjoy! I am not always the best about stuff like that, but your SebaCiel posts are seriously next level, and I try to at least say something in my tags when I see a really good post (sometimes I'm still bad at it, but I figure sometimes is better than never -_-;;). Also I'm so glad my comments on your fic could help cheer you up at all! I saw you were feeling down about it and I was like, okay I gotta read this tonight, and it was so worth it! 💗❣️💕💖😻

[youngchronicpain]

I've been keeping my pain meds in a music box that is lined in red cloth that I found at an antique store and honestly. The vibes are impeccable. It plays creepy music every time I open it. I love it.

[actualaster]

Fun things about being a repeat patient at PT for neck, back, and shoulder pain is nobody even suspects I got top surgery for gender reasons because I legit had some of my chronic pain almost entitely fixed nearly instantly by it so everybody just figures I did it for pain relief

(I mean, that was also a reason, but it was secondary)

[wyn0rrific]

seeing moots post art abd stuff is so amazing but leaves me with envy/guilt everytime....

[lavampira]

anyone else have those rough days where everything hurts and you don’t know what to do with yourself for a distraction or is it just me 🤪

[cherry-pop-elf]

Bit of a personal post. I just love that there is this new garden kinda game we have now. It makes me so happy

I used to live in the country side, and took care of gardens. But because of deteriorating health, we had to move to the city. Easier on my body, and closer to the doctors

So something small like this makes me really happy

When you are bed bound a lot, you don’t get to do much. Being able to take care of plants again is making me really happy

Especially magical plants, that grow quickly, and in my own little magical home

It’s nice. I miss this. I miss a lot of things, but you learn to appreciate small things like this

I miss being ‘alive’ if you will. But, I’m a stubborn thing. I’ll find a way, and look at that. I did, didn’t I?

[cuteniarose]

PART 5 of my incorrect quotes shenanigans featuring six of our newest OCs, which I am happy I kept forgetting to post because that means I now get to use them to hopefully brighten up @katkastrofa’s day a little ^–^

[pirpintine]

rises from the grave to draw my wol once again before returning to the dirt

[kavehater]

I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way

[there-will-be-a-way]

No sleep meds and quitting weed is a baaaad combination

[volivolition]

[guy with chronic pain voice] i should draw pain threshold

[justanillvampire]

That was the best afternoon nap I’ve had in a while.

Do I feel better? Not in the slightest but I’m not as tired. Had some acid climbing up my throat as soon as I awoke which tasted gross and didn’t feel great.

I showered and left my hair out of its braid and holy goofy fuck my curls are out of control. My hair is so long now too! I feel like Rapunzel 👸🏼

[br1ghtestlight]

its weird that my general Living Situation with my mom made me very sick.... like obviously the black mold and lack of food etc but also just on a basic trauma/physical inactivity level that it was so painful to walk or do physical activity for the first six months after i moved out (and while living there obvs) bcuz my body wasnt being used and was functioning on the lowest possible level i was experiencing like muscle atrophy and losing my physical abilities

which i always feel shameful telling ppl bcuz it sounds like my fault for not doing enough physical activity or not eating healthy but like..... OBVIOUSLY it was more than just laziness bcuz nobody normal experiences the level of pain and fatigue that i did (and still do) like i couldnt leave the house anyway. mental torment. NO food or anything yet alone anything healthy and nutritious. the impact physical trauma has on the body is soo weird

anyway j was in a lot of pain and couldnt be physically active (which was also true before i was a teenager bcuz i was just a weak/sickly kid and naturally skinny along w/ malnutrition, was definitely more physically active when i went to school and did gym) as in like. i couldnt walk more than a block down the street without being out of breath and being in serious pain. Bcuz my body wasnt used to that level of activity anymore bcuz i couldnt leave the house usually

it was kind of pathetic but going outside more helped. im never gonna be the level of physically active/healthy that people who like go to the gym are bcuz im Just not doing all that sorry

but the mental exhaustion is still there bcuz i used to be able to do stuff EVERYDAY like go to school and sometimes even stuff after school. going out with friends. every single day and even on weekends!!! now i cant even imagine being able to leave the house more than a few times a week and its exhausting physically and emotionally, its genuinely traumatizing trying to build up the mental stamina that i had before when i was a kid. my brain is just so used to doing nothing and being alone all the time every single day that doing even One thing or going outside is complete sensory overload. not in a literal way but its just like..... there's so much?? i spent many months without ever going outside. i dont want to go back to that logically but also i kind of do?

the effects of long term abuse and isolation is weird u just want to go back to when it was easier even though it made you miserable. Bcuz that's easier than even trying to figure out how to do life again especially with nobody to help you! i want to read more books about this!!!

[spotaus]

Doodling guys :)

[lavampira]

.

actually so stressed about my voice issues because it’s been going on a couple months since it worked ‘normal’ (and even longer since it was actually normal) and consistently, and I went through so many hoops trying to schedule a vocal therapy appointment, only to find out that they don’t have an opening until late july, and then that my insurance isn’t going to cover it, which. I can’t afford to pay even a down payment for a consultation. lmao. so. it’s just me and the youtube at home speech therapy videos from the ENT specialist and me for now until I figure something out 🤪

[not-poignant]

would you be comfortable keeping us updated about your health results in the following months ?

Hi anon,

I don't generally update re: my health stuff in any consistent way here. I often have between 80-100+ medical appointments of some kind or other per year and I have too many actively treated/supported health conditions (over 15 -> I have more than this, these are just the ones being actively treated), that like... I'm not making this a health blog. It's a writing blog! Most of the health updates I make are over at the Fae Tales / writing Discord. But even there, I don't update about everything. (Some health stuff is just boring too, like, I'm anemic again? Must be a day ending in Y. Iron infusions are very repetitive, lol).

That being said, I do tend to update with health stuff when it impacts my writing, which is why I've been talking about it more lately, because my writing has absolutely been impacted from some new diagnoses from last November to now, which is really frustrating on a writing level, and also because it can impact my mood and output and readers can notice something's off. December was my lowest wordcount in over two years. And I've only written one chapter this month.

Right now I'm kind of having to force myself to work, because I need the money, so I can't afford to shut down the Patreon for a month or two (which is what I'd normally do in order to give myself a lengthy break), so I'm in the catch 22 of 'too sick to work to my normal levels, too poor to take a break from work to see if that helps because I need a lot of specialist medical stuff and some of it's expensive.' I do still like writing, but given more choice/freedom, I'd be taking time off to process some difficult diagnoses and some abrupt medication changes (I had to stop taking two meds that helped my quality of life and mental health immensely, and immediately onboard to two others that have notorious side effects, and that alone has been a struggle).

Though as a small update - I have 8 medical appointments in the next 10 days (one of those will result in 3 more referrals), and I'm 29 minutes away from leaving to go get my 45 minute head/neck MRI (complete with face cage and gadolinium) to see if my tumours have grown and to see if I've grown any more or if they've since metastasized. I have another MRI next week. The MRIs are thankfully due to Australia's healthcare free at least. But almost none of my other appointments are. I will probably end up having around 15+ medical appointments this month, so we're definitely starting the 80-100+ medical appointments per year off strong this year. x.x

For folks reading this, broadly, this is why there's been delays in responding overall to comments on AO3, why I'm not always getting to asks as soon as I normally do, and why I haven't been as 'chatty' as usual. I still love receiving asks/comments etc. please just be patient with me while I deal with everything. <3333

Er but yeah, tbh a lot of it is quite overwhelming for others. Like, if I actually kept people properly updated, I think some would feel not very happy, especially if they're just here for writing updates! So I try not to make too many 'health posts' unless I'm asked specifically? Anon, you are always welcome to ask for a health update <3 People can always scroll past it.