#the break is mostly from posting NEW stuff tbh

[optiwashere]

Why the purble heart? It's cute and you use it a bunch so now it reminds me of you.

Also see you New Year's and Stuff since your breaking up, off and down🎉🎆

Honestly, I just like the color purple. The heart's because I want people to know that I'm just trying to spread some good vibes when I leave a comment, or when I respond to a comment/anon/whatever.

It's barely gonna look like a break to y'all! There's prompt fics from here that I want to post on AO3, and I'll still be posting a bit on tumblr too.

But thanks for the wishes and I'm looking forward to not worrying too much about Nightsongs or any of my other Big Ideas!

[be-good-to-bugs]

hmm

[unforth]

Alright not to like liveblog my breakdown on main but yesterday was a really bad day after a really bad, like, 4 months, and I've hit a bit of a breaking point and one of the only things in my life that can give is running @mdzsartreblogs , @tgcfartreblogs , @svsssartreblogs , @erhaartreblogs , @tykartreblogs , and @cnovelartreblogs , so that is what has to give. It's been a 99-out-of-100 days thankless job. A small number of people do say thank you and yall I appreciate you so much (HUGE shout-out to the artist I met at Flamecon who gifted me a zine when I said I ran these blogs, @bonesblubs you rock) but I have never done an act of fandom labor simultaneously this labor intensive yet this invisible before and, uh. It sucks. I spend an hour or more a day on this every day, if it's under 2k hours since I started the first of these in September 2020 I'd be shocked. And I do it because I love it but doing it means I don't have time or energy to do other things I love. And I really don't want to just quit, but I can't keep this up.

In a last-ditch effort to try not to just give up, I'm making the following changes:

1. Only watching one tag per fandom for the MXTX fandoms. I am going to check *only* #tgcf, #svsss, and #mdzs. Artwork posted to any other tag, I will not see unless a mutual reblogs it.

2. Reduced tagging (even more). I'm only going to tag characters and maybe overarching au type (eg, "modern au," "fantasy au"). I'll no longer tag creatures. I will continue to tag the same common trigger warnings I already tag.

3. If a work's appearance doesn't make it obvious what it is AND the tags aren't clear, I'm not going to reblog. I can't keep spending 5 minutes or more trying to figure out what I'm even looking at, scared that if I guess wrong the artist will get mad at me for mistagging their work. If I do reblog, I'll tag only the artist name and/or whatever else I can identify for sure.

4. I am no longer going to follow #link click. The fandom is just too big. I've started dreading checking it. If I was more into it and less busy I would make another spin off just for it but neither of those is true. (The art is so good, I hate to do this, but. If you love link click, highly recommend the main tag, lots of great stuff there.)

5. I will no longer tag any non-cnovel content in the art/post. Like, if someone draws, idek, Xie Lian and Marinette from Ladybug, I'm not gonna put any tags for Marinette, just for Xie Lian.

6. Basically if I run into something hard to tag or confusing or unclear, my new policy is I'm not gonna fricken bother.

I think those are everything but idefk, I cried for 3 hours last night and got 4 hours of sleep so I'm mostly fueled by exhaustion and desperation right now and my memory is even more fried than usual.

How artists can help. This is obviously all optional. You do you. But since some people might want to know what would make my life easier, I'm sharing. I'm not claiming I feel entitled to dictate how people fandom or anything like that.

1. Put the tags for the character(s) and ship(s) early in the tag list.

2. If you make art for a fandom that isn't one of the big ones (right now the only big danmei fandoms on tumblr as far as I can tell are the MXTX fandoms and maybe 2ha) I am begging you to use my tracked tag #cnovelartreblogs

3. Do mdzs art? Tag #mdzs. Do tgcf art? Tag #tgcf. Do svsss art? Tag #svsss.

4. Not only artists, but everyone, *please* stop tagging fandoms not discussed and/or depicted in your post. It's gotten to be stupid common for people to blanket the danmei fandom tags with posts only about one fandon (like, svsss-only works also being tagged mdzs and tgcf and 2ha for some damn reason). This isn't about just my sideblogs tbh this is just fandom etiquette that seems to have been forgotten or never learned by many. Tagging unrelated fandoms isn't "reach," it's annoying. People go into the #mdzs tag to see mdzs, not whatever not-mdzs stuff people have decided to tag for ~reach~, and seeing the same post in 8 tags, none of which it's related to, is so damn irritating, and makes scrolling the tags looking for content that IS relevant take that much longer. Knock it off.

Okay. I think that's as much as I'm prepared to meltdown where everyone can see. Thanks in advance everyone for your understanding, and apologies to everyone about to see this 8 times as I reblog it to each sideblog.

At least I'm not tagging it to everywhere. 🤣🤣🤣

[dangerouslyknown]

Hi! Please do headcanons for gojo like you did Higuruma x

Satoru Gojo Headcanons 💎

A/N: Thanks for the request! My JJK obsession is hitting like a truck. I hope I delivered these Gojo headcanons well, mwah

Contents/Warnings: General headcanons, relationship headcanons both SFW & NSFW. Reader/partner is referred as "his S/O" or by they/them so gn!reader

General Headcanons

He used to play Moviestarplanet. He was sooo popular too. He had lots of friends and he made the silliest movies/artbooks which people loved

He likes to sing and usually he sings whatever is stuck in his head on random occasions, without really trying to sound good

...but oh boy if you ever get the chance to do actual karaoke with him... He sings beautifully when he puts the effort in. What a gorgeous voice, it almost surprises everyone

He goes crazy about Lady Gaga's songs and he loves to do silly little performances whenever he hears any of her songs

Gojo is also a Swiftie???

Somehow I feel like he is TERRIBLE when it comes to spending money. He hasn't had a day in his life where he had to worry about financial stuff, so...

He's the type of guy buy an expensive ice cream machine, then accidentally break it and buy a new one like it's nothing

He used to troll people online as a teen...

Actually, he probably still does it for the heck of it. He isn't one to do anything super offensive, but he enjoys messing with people

SFW Relationship headcanons

He hasn´t been in many relationships in his life, mostly because he rarely lets anyone close. Bro has trust issues :(

He dislikes being vulnerable in front of others, but his S/O is who he shows his true self. It is not something to take lightly

He KNOWS he is attractive and it flatters his ego when he is complimented on it, but if one wants to win his heart, you need to go deeper than that. He wants a person who truly appreciates him beyond looks

His love language is gift giving. He will gift his S/O anything they desire, and it´s his way of showing he cares. He gets excited like a kid in a candy store when he brings his S/O something and waits for them to open the gift

Most of the time it doesn't even have to be anything expensive. Of course he likes to spoil his S/O, but sometimes he just sees something small, which reminds him of them and he decides to buy it

Then, his unofficial love language is being annoying. He would ask "would you still love me if I was a worm" and whatnot

Related to that, he would act all smug and probably provoke arguments with his S/O just to entertain himself (but he's not malicious about it of course!)

When he sees something romantic, he would say "Ewww, sappy romance stuff" and then do exactly those things in private

He likes to show off with his relationship? Y'know, like posting about it in social media and PDA

This also ties to when he holds great pride in the thought that he's able to protect them no matter what. Maybe he's also a bit jealous and likes to show others that his S/O truly is his, and only his

Looooves to dress in matching clothing with his S/O!

Also, if he'd play online games with his S/O, he'd definitely want to do matching usernames (Sometimes it'd be cringe, but that's a part of why he loves doing it)

(NSFW under the cut)

NSFW Relationship headcanons

Leans towards being more kinky tbh

This man likes to have fun, okay? He is super adventurous in the bedroom. He's always coming up with new ideas for his S/O and him to try, and he usually is the one to initiate

He'd love to bring in ropes, blindfolds, toys of all kind and everything you could think of. He wants to use them on his S/O, but isn't against the idea being toys or ropes used on him either blindfolds wouldn't even work on him though

He´s a fan of playing with the dynamics. The vibes he gives is 50% pillow princess and 50% daddy, so there's never a dull moment when he switches up things with his S/O

He lives for teasing in the bedroom. You are not going to get anything easily from his arrogant ass: If he's a sub, he's going to be a brat. If he's a top, you need to beg him

He is capable of being serious during intimate time, but most of the time there's going to be funny and goofy moments

I could 100% see him doing something like slapping his dick against his S/O's face, then grin. At the same time it's hot but it's also hilarious (in his opinion)

Speaking of his cock, I think it's bigger than average. Length is impressive, then girth is more average-ish

Definitely very vocal during sex. He will not shut up whether it's whimpers or dirty talk

I think he loves to fuck his S/O from behind. He loves to kiss the back of their neck, their shoulders and all over their back while going at it

[definitelynotshouting]

Idk if this is Hunger AU canon or my own personal fanon but

one of the "calling cards" that the Watchers used in Evo was bedrock

bedrock is unbreakable by a player

perfect for trapping the player you're using as a Watcher incubator

and the texture looks rough af

when you get desperate you often try to do stuff to escape even if it's impossible, right

so what I'm saying is

probably one of the last things player!Grian did was tearing his hands to shreds trying to break bedrock out of sheer desperation

which makes all the passages in your fic where he's staring at his hands even more *gestures vaguely*

(idk why I typed this out in this format but it felt right so I'm going with it)

MAN OKAY THIS IS SUPER COOL i especially adore how youve connected it with the way i keep having Grian stare at his own hands???? which ftr is smth ive only just now realized i do all the time AKDBWKDJKSSJ this is JUST like the scarian jaw kisses thing HELPPPP 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but thats such a cool thought!!! And utterly angsty i love it >:]

Its also made me realize i dont think ive ever actually told yall what did happen during that interim where Grian was captive as a Player before he died and became a Watcher, so buckle in i guess as i try to explain this one to yall (obligatory cws for captivity, parasitism, violated autonomy, body horror, and major character death discussion)

Yknow the world borders the life series has?? It was like that, but tiny. Maybe a couple chunks' worth of space to move around in. He spawned into a savannah biome and the Watchers specifically in charge of keeping an eye on him (pun intended) penned him in with the borders, implanted the specially-coded larva, and then retreated back just outside the server's barrier code to, well. To Watch.

So post Evo dragon fight the Watchers convinced Grian to join them without telling him what that entailed. They then proceeded to whisk him away to the server cluster's dev crystal, which is where the remnants of this Watcher colony made their semi-permanent home. There, held together basically only by the Watchers' ability to manipulate code, they had Grian make a brand new server.... and immediately trapped him in it.

He spent a year there slowly dying, eaten from the inside out by a parasite that was collecting his memories, copying over his stats and personality, with very limited space and resources to get by with. I know he built a tiny house out of acacia, but it never got any bigger than a starter base. He lived off of mostly bread and the meat from a few animals that spawned in with him; he primarily used stone tools, because those were what was most readily available. It was a very terrifying and lonely year, where all access to the outside world was cut off, and he was meticulously watched over to keep from dying while the larva inside him continued to grow and destroy him.

The Watchers were mostly hands-off in terms of interaction, but they did do regular check-ins to ensure the larva was alive and that there was no danger present to its host. Hostile mobs were carefully warded off, and Grian spent most of his time alternating between begging them to let him go (they never responded), trying to figure out ways to escape (it never worked), and tending to baseless chores just to keep from going out of his mind as his body grew weaker and weaker and more unstable around him.

I have a lot of feelings about this tbh, bc its just such a bleak scenario to think about-- trapped in a tiny cage with something killing you from the inside out, and your captors wont even talk to you about it properly. Being left otherwise to your own devices, with the terrible, lingering knowledge that, even if it was under duress, you still agreed to this. The fact that, after a certain point, after your questions and pleas are summarily ignored and brushed aside, you finally realize: you aren't meant to survive this. You are going to die.

A juvenile Watcher's first meal are the emotions during their host's last few moments. Grian was no exception; he cracked his way out of his own ribcage, and, without meaning to, amplified and feasted on Player!Grian's agony and terror as he died. With their memory codes finally disconnected, Grian had to watch himself through the eyes of a stranger as his terrified consciousness dissolved and his body fell apart into nothing more than loose strings of code.

Only then, still weak and flailing and helpless, was he was brought into the colony proper, in order to teach him how to be a Watcher. It wouldnt be for another few years before Grian gained the strength, control, and insight required to make his desperate escape. In total, i wanna say he spent somewhere between.... 4-6 years??? with the colony against his will. It would take another 4 for him to finally scrape together the courage to contact Mumbo and finally ask him for an invite into the Hermitcraft proper

One of these days i do plan to write that reunion, actually, which i'll add to the series as another prequel just like all the words that i forgot to say, which takes place roughly 6-8 months after Grian finally joins Hermitcraft. And if yall want to read an absolutely fantastic fic that deals with the moment Watcher!Grian was born and Player!Grian died, you should absolutely check out my friend @raichett 's fic Divergency, which ive pretty much canonized bc it REALLY hits the nail on the head for that situation.

Okay this got a lot longer than i meant it to sidhskdjej also those timeframes are a little squiggly bc i havent fully settled on where they fall on the general timeline. I wanna say Grian had been a Watcher for abt a decade by the time Mumbo got him onto Hermitcraft, though, so thats the loose timeline im working off of when i talk abt this :] anyway thanks for giving me an excuse to write this all out!!! while your idea about the bedrock isnt necessarily canon, i absolutely ADORE it and can totally see Grian just tearing up his hands while scrabbling against the world border.... utterly heartbreaking we fucking LOVE to see it. Thanks for sending in your ask!!! I always love seeing what you have to say about hunger au!!! :DDD

[yujeong]

Earlier I read your post on hoping to see a sex scene between Korn and Fasai so that you could compare their scene to Korn and Tonkla`s sex scenes. Now that we have seen them in my opinion there`s a clear difference. Could you tell more about your thoughts on the differences/similarities in how Korn acts around them and what it tells about these relationships. I have lots of thoughts on those scenes and it would be nice to hear how other people see and interpret these scenes.

OMG a 4 Minutes ask! How nice of you to ask me anon, thank you so much ❤️ So, Korn. What a guy. I'm so happy we got the 2 sex scenes, they give us so much info about Korn's character and what his relationship with both Tonkla and Fasai is. Now, let's start with the similarities, because there's fewer of them: - Korn doesn't initiate the sex on either occasion. Tonkla does by poking at his dick a couple of times and telling him he's "not only good at talking", as well as start kissing him all over his chest during the second round that never happened, and Fasai does by signaling to him he should... well, get on with it lol, - Korn uses nicknames to address both Tonkla and Fasai (I can't hear his words clearly, but I have a feeling he calls him Kla? Maybe that's why the subtitle breaks the name for some reason? - it's Tonkla not Ton Kla lol), meaning both relationships are intimate, - Now, I'm mostly adding this for the lols, but neither Tonkla nor Fasai enjoyed their sexual encounter with Korn. This happens for very different reasons though, which I'll explain later, - This is more of a headcanon than anything, but both relationships are transactional, even if KornTonkla doesn't seem like it is (or even FasaiKorn tbh). On to the important stuff, the differences: - In his relationship with Tonkla, Korn is the one who knows more about things he's not willing to share with him (mainly, his new shady job, though I'm sure there could be more down the line), while with Fasai, Korn is the one who's in the dark, - Korn is the one who controls everything that happens during his time with Tonkla (putting on the condom despite being asked not to + making Tonkla come, even though he was "fine not coming"), while Fasai is the one who's in complete control of the encounter with Korn, - Generally, the relationship between Korn and Tonkla seems to revolve around what Korn wants (what he wants to share, his pleasure, his schedule, his money), while the relationship between Korn and Fasai is completely controlled by her and her alone, - Since it's about Korn's pleasure, Tonkla doesn't get to enjoy the sex they have (it's over too quickly for him to come and he feels self-conscious when Korn asks him if he did + telling him he shouldn't bother helping him). The scene is very cleverly shot in a way that this isn't obvious, but I believe a re-watch and the second episode's context might help the audience see it more clearly. On the other hand, Fasai doesn't seem to be enjoying Korn eating her out, because that's not the point of the scene. It's all about power and control. She doesn't seek pleasure from Korn, she seeks his submission, - And now comes the point about both relationships being transactional: the difference, again, is about who the relationship benefits. With Tonkla, it's all about Korn - he gives him money and glimpses of affection and some of his time, for Tonkla to give back his unwavering love and... well, his body. I might seem harsh with this, but those are the vibes the scene gave me and judging by how he talked to him in ep2, I don't think I'm that far off. However, Fasai wants Korn's submission as I said, for which she helps him run his new business in return. It wasn't clear if Fasai is meant to be Korn's girlfriend or not with what little we've gotten, but I'm willing to believe that's the case - Tonkla knows about Fasai, he didn't seem surprised when Korn mentioned her to his father, so she could be what he passes as an official relationship while having Tonkla on the side, - Oh, very important detail which I shall not forget to mention: Korn wants to have sex with Tonkla, while his scene with Fasai suggested he's not doing this willingly. I'd say he's either coerced into submitting to her or it's just... work to him. Either way, key difference to the two scenes so I had to say it. I think that's all I have for now. I am deeply fascinated by all three characters and I can't wait to learn more about them ❤️ I'm sure Sammon will give us many treats involving their storylines.

[iamhereinthebg]

thoughts on the new chapter?

*salt about tbhk incoming* :')))

I already announced it on instagram but my interest in tbhk have dropped drastically since some time and I was gonna give the manga the benefit of the doubt because chap 104 was okay Ig?

Chapter 105 just showed everything I have been not liking about the writing in tbhk in one chapter youhou

let's go on the positive first!

I adore class 1-A I would die for them

The pages in black and white were cool, the art is perfect as always. Maybe seeing an Akane and Hanako team up would be fire af but with Teru here I doubt it so this is a tiny hope I will put in hell with everything else for now.

I love you Kou and Mistuba

Yokoo is rocking this outfit too. I like the fact that the clock being destroyed just stops everything and everyone's time (like a certain character but who has a limit *COUGHS* probably for this reason Ig)

them

Idk if I am strong enough to go on a full explanation on why my interest dropped since some chapters, this didn't start on this one, this one was just the last straw. I will just show the most obvious choices that I don't like ( my opinion btw this is just the feeling I have while reading, take this with a BIG grain of salt)

I've been reading tbhk for 4 years and I am tired of waiting for stuff the author litteraly won't do anything about and just stay in their comfort zone

No repercussions on the mcs for some choices they made, no repercussions on wounds/stuff that happened which should have need time to heal for the characters or for them to grow, giving us always the same team up so no room for real character/relationship development beside the obvious (and with how slow Hanako and Nene have been going honestly making the same characters always interact doesn't help at all apparently L O L), BIG difference of pacing for characters growth, making the story take always the same route with the same characters being kidnapped and the same ones doing the savings, putting characters in an arc they have no reason to be part of so just making them stand in the background like a caricature of themselves, making characters 'mysterious' or forgetting their character development just to use them as some sort of deus ex machina, and the worst of all:

Making Nene just a reason for Hanako to react and nothing else. No character development for her, no reason for her to be in some scenes, this is just sad to watch at this point. Aoi had this problem at the beginning of the manga for Akane mostly for comedic reason and they had growth, seeing they are putting Nene in this position after more than 100 chapters and her being the mc is just awful.

I honestly just want more diversity in the choices they are making in their writing, and the last chapter proves me that either it will come in a long time or it never will.

At least the art is pretty, and the worst part is that I KNOW AidaIro knows how use setup, they know how to write really good stuff and good characters, complex stories, and it's GOOD. So seeing this in the recent chapters just makes me even more tired x'))

Once again, my opinion, but the way Nene and Aoi are treated in the manga makes me wanna explode. AidaIro are capable of writing good female characters (thank you Mei and Sumire for being perfect from start to end), Aoi and Nene had wonderful time too, so idk why all of this is happening rn tbh. It's just sad.

Maybe the brainrot will come back, I still love the characters, but I really need to take a break from the fandom anyways (not gonna expand on this but oh boy how annoying a part of the fandom is, a lot of people are the sweetest but a part makes me wanna explode, I've been more than 3 years here and I think that the most I can take at this point)

ANYWAYS :DDD idk what I will do with this account for now ^^ I will probably still rb some stuff or post old tbhk doodles I never finished :00 Idk what I wanna draw now probably ocs stuff so I won't post them here I think ^^ I hope everyone is alright yay

[river-muse]

That WIP ask game is seriously an underrated concept tbh, authors should be able to air out their works and ideas if they want to, even if those are unfinished.

Since I've been bugging you a little about MH I think I have to ask about the Monster Hunter Derelict WIP. MH Is an interesting setting for sure, but it's also hard to think of something to write in it, except maybe a dnd-like hunter party? Anyway, I'm rambling, definitely interested what you had going on There.

Also, I'm a filthy cheater and a sucker for time-themed fiction, so I definitely have to ask about Whatever Time May Bring. Feel free to ignore my filthy cheater double request tho

I agree! Being able to show off stuff we're working on without perfection being expected is super fun because I can pick out highlights and hold it up without needing to go "is this polished enough to be read?"

Since one is sort of a mini-fic that's an AU me and one of my close friends are messing around with for the funnies I'll answer both of your requests! I'm giggling and rubbing my hands together.

Monster Hunter Dereliction is the working title of a DMC MonHun AU that centers around a small Guild outpost in the Old World that pretty much has its shit figured out due to there not being many settlements in the area that need to be protected. My friend and I went "fuck it minimal family loss trauma in this department" so a lot of the cast is Around(tm) except for Sparda(we haven't decided what happened to him yet if anything).

There's sort of a plot figured out, though most of it's up in the air because we haven't had too much of a chance to talk more thoroughly about it and are just in the brainstorming department. We really just wanted to come up with our own biomes and monster designs for fun. It would involve a clash between two Elders breaking open a crevice in the earth that reveals an underground cavern system- and unknowingly awakening an Elder that has almost cosmic horror-esque traits to it. There's a sketch but it's not mine so I'd have to ask my friend later if he'd be cool with me sharing it.

For a little insight into some character placements, since I'm a bit obsessive about how lore in MonHun goes xD I won't go into what everyone is doing but I will share a handful.

I don't have much in way of writing, since I just got a few key ideas down- but have at it!

I think we decided Dante was the master in that area? He's mostly chilling around the outpost unless something super dangerous comes up that he's needed for.

Vergil is a high-ranking hunter who tends to do tasks for the Scholars that takes him into dangerous areas for the challenge and potential to explore old ruins. He's in and out of the outpost a lot on a whim so unless he's requested specifically good luck finding him.

Nero is an established hunter who tends to get a little babied by the others, which leads to him being more adamant about pushing his limits to prove himself and get them to stop worrying.

Eva regularly travels, recording locales and monsters in general peace.

Kyrie acts as the guild sweetheart for the location, handling quest assignments and making sure the hunters are properly prepared.

Credo is one of the residing guild knights, which is a rank in the guild that handles upholding guild regulation and deciding on punishment for anyone caught illegally poaching monsters.

Nell is the residential smithy! She's been training Nico for a long time now to take over in the future.

For now Nico tends to tag along behind Nero on a lot of hunts to observe them, swipe some new materials for herself, and experiment with equipment that diverts away from standard expectations.

Patty is a guild sweetheart in training, if I remember right? I only wrote her name in all caps in this post-it note and nothing else fdsgfbsdxjkgbj

-

Dante’s late to leave his room today, not expecting too many requests to come in if any. It’s been quiet since they’d sorted out the sudden influx of larger wyverns that had migrated South from their own territories. Which isn’t a good sign. It could mean something bigger is on the way soon. However nothing’s turned up. So to him the problem’s been solved. The peace lasts about as long as expected though, because the door pushes open without so much as a knock from the incoming visitor. It’s Lady. Not even in her armor yet but scowling as if she’d just gotten tossed around by a Diablos. “Where’s your fucking brother?” “Not even a good morning?” Dante yawns. “Passed morning a few hours ago.” Lady crosses her arms and leans against the doorframe “Now about Vergil-“ “Do I look like my brother’s keeper?” When It’s obvious Lady isn’t accepting that as an answer he groans and rests his feet on his desk “Out. On an expedition. That’s why one of the aptonoth aren’t in the stable. He’s North, checking out whatever caused that Wyvern displacement. Should be back in a few days.”

-

Vergil lingers by the ledge of the massive crevice, peering into the darkness to see faint shimmers of light that waver as if moving. It’s odd. With most of the trees decimated there should be plenty of sunlight shining down to show whatever’s down there. The darkness opens its eyes. Swirling colors and glowing light as faint pupils shrink to paper-thin slits when they focus on him. From the positioning of them Vergil isn’t sure if he’s looking face-to-face with a creature or with multiple. He doesn’t recognize any visible traits and stumbles away from the ledge. There’s a snapping noise and Vergil looks back to see the aptonoth has broken her binds in her attempt to flee, taking all of Vergil’s gear with her as she disappears into the treeline. A rattling, warbling noise that resembles a broken horn echoes loud enough that it hurts Vergil’s ears. He covers them with his hands and regrets not bringing earplugs. Something cold enough to leech the temperature through his armor wraps around his ankle, and drags him into the crevice. He grasps at the rock. His gloves dig in and he struggles to grab his blade. It slips from his hands and he falls with it. Darkness engulfs his vision made to feel darker by the eyes that fill his peripheral. One more eye, larger than all the others, opens up in front of him to blot out his last view of the sun.

-

Nero’s the first to volunteer and the first to be ready to depart. He shuffles about, fretting over what equipment to take and how long of a trip it will be. “Don’t you dare authorize that mission.” Credo objects, smacking his hand on the table “There’s no telling how long he’ll be gone, and if there is a wyvern strong enough out there to take Vergil down then I don’t feel comfortable sending him out.” “He’s qualified. Just as capable as the rest of us.” Dante insists “You need to stop babying him or he’ll never get his feet under him.” “How dare you accuse me of coddling one of our hunters?” “You’re not really beating the allegations. Especially since he’s got a crush on your sister.” “Do not-“ Nero objects. Dante stares, raises an eyebrow, and Nero clicks his tongue. Nero looks away while his cheeks flush red.

---

NOW onto-

Whatever Time May Bring. You have sniffed out the ONE NASNAH part that I think you're going to love the most, because it takes place when Nero's 15 and a certain 8 year old girl finds her way into Dante's life. It skims through the anime timeline and a bit beyond, since for reasons not yet revealed in the plot Dante decides to keep Vergil and Nero out of most of the details of his demon hunting work. It's a scene compilation like how "In Leaps and Bounds" was for little Nero. It's also finally the time where Nero starts questioning his family's behavior and secrets more than before.

-

Vergil watches the ensuing exchange with all of his attention he can muster. There’s something comedic about a young child pushing Dante to wits’ end when Nero at that age earned nothing but Dante’s adoration. He then notices Nero’s uncharacteristic silence. It takes just one glance to see Nero’s eyes are wide, watching Patty with an expression that he hasn’t seen before. “Nero?” Nero startles out of his thoughts, straightening up. “Uh, hi.” Nero says. He picks up his coat from the floor and dusts it off. “A little slow on the uptake. Did you overheat trying to wear that over here?” Dante asks. “No just-“ Nero looks away and seems to get his bearings “-wasn’t expecting to see you taking care of a kid. He’s being nice to you, right?” Nero looks at Patty with his question. “He’s horrible! He doesn’t clean, never explains anything until after it happens, and won’t eat anything but pizza and strawberry sundaes. I’m surprised he even knows what tomato juice is let alone drinks it.” Patty pouts and motions at Dante with a pointed finger.

-

Patty is- energetic. She’s outspoken and from how she speaks her mind is sharper than she leads others to believe. Yet she’s very much a child in how she behaves. Much like how Dante had been at her age to an extent. It had been obnoxious to deal with when younger, but Vergil can rationalize it as normal behavior for children in hindsight. Nero’s odd phase of having become quiet and calm as a child must have been a special case. “Would you advise I rescue Nero now, or later?” Vergil questions. “I think they’ll get along just fine without us hovering.” Dante pushes up from his chair and nudges a box of stuffed animals to the side with his foot. He tilts his head to the hallway door “Let’s leave them to it.” “And what will we be doing, instead?” “If you don’t want to know the weird details of the job, then I guess we can stay here and listen to Patty go on all day about that stupid show.” “Hey! I heard that.” Patty speaks up, looking over from the couch. “I wasn’t talking to you.” “But you were talking about me, so that’s pretty much the same thing.” Patty sticks her tongue out.

-

“What happened to my mom? Who was she?” Vergil’s gaze flicks away. Guilt passes over his face and he keeps cleaning without giving an answer. “Hey, you can’t just ignore me. I asked you a question-” Nero objects. “I can, and I will.” Vergil holds out the sauce pan “That is a topic for another time, Nero.” “Another time? Seriously?” Nero scowls as he uses a bit more force than needed to dry the pan “You’re gonna dare say that to me after years of this? I don’t even know what her name was.” Vergil pauses washing the dishes, resting his hands on the edges of the sink.

-

Thank you for letting me go insane and giving me a chance to share with you some Patty Propaganda! I had to seriously dig around and be careful with what I show since there's quite a few parts between the fic I'm currently uploading and this one, but I would be damned if I didn't give you something to look forward to. <3

[wyked-ao3]

writer questionnaire

Tagged by @ink-flavored here and @the-letterbox-archives & @mundanemoongirl & @nczaversnick & @thecomfywriter

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I post story's on ao3. But snippets and stuff here and a few months a little before April?

What led you to create it?

I saw a few other ao3 people had Tumblr and I joined...got confused then came back to try again a few days before the boop war and I ended up staying after the boop war due to making a few friends

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

The support, getting to see others hard work. Making friends along the way and of course the OC's that we all fall in love with.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I love talking about books, wips and fanfictions or just your characters or world building. I admit sometimes I don't know what to reply so if I'm silent I'm probably thinking about a reply or you managed to hit a time slot I'm busy or sleeping but I will reply eventually... 0_o

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

My mutuals stories, I love to follow them as they are written and get insight into the characters. Chances are you will have at least one oc i will fangirl over and I'm going to apologize now lol

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

The Pirate king of deaths redemption which will be book one of the pirate's cursed god series. I'm thinking it will have 4 stories and 2-3 mini stories

How long have you been working on them?

The idea since I was about seventeen

The plot I'm still figuring out

The characters some are old and some are new...infact two new ones arrived to the story yesterday ken will not be getting a major role he's just a background character.

World building since I was 19

Actually writing started about a month ago in seriousness and little snippets a month before that

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Tbh I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking but it's happening so let's roll with it

But I have always had a fascination with lore and supernatural beings and I was in a pirate phase do that might have something to do with it

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Way to often..when I'm not writing I'm usually plotting out the next few scenes and consequences to it

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

No one offline knows I write, but if I was asked the question by one of y'all.

I'd say mostly fanfiction but I'm starting a queer fantasy pirate story...just don't ask me about their cursed god yet as he is staying silent. I figure book to or three he will start talking or I may have to break out the threats again 0_o

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

Whatever the characters tell me to write and then I get to have the fun of tagging it 0_o (side note to myself I need to find a place I can find genres and stuff with a base description )

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.  Side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

Daimhín,Oisìn, Jade,Galen, Briath, Morana, Heather, Coinín, Mal, Adoh, Taz, Amon, Oscar , Rob, Queen Kia, Queen Coral, princess Anne, Hill, Eric, Nimue, Death, Nyx, Davey jones, Nereza, Kieran pirate queen Eris, ken, pirate king cutthroat, and a ton of others who are not coming to mind right now

Who’s the most unhinged?

Amon, Briath and Morana are fighting for the title

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Oisìn at the moment, but I have a feeling Jade and Briath will both be easier to write when I get to them

Do you ever cringe at them?

Yes especially when writing certain things, yes I want to include them but some things just don't come naturally to me

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?  AKA, do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

🤣 they write themselves mostly while arguing with me so it's a blast sometimes and change things frequently well most if that can be blamed on Amon

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? And do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? For example, as Asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on AO3, etc.

No preferred method I will interact with them all although sometimes I don't get notifications on tags for some reason

I will talk about my wips or OC's or we can talk about your wips and OC's ...or mutual interest or anything you want to info dump on.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on WIPs, or vibes?

I like most genres so I usually just scope for vibes and see what their wip is about or a published/posted work. I'm not picky so I follow quite a few writers lol

What makes you decide against following?

I try to avoid politics I don't mind a few post but if it's all politics I tend to back away or if I see them bullying or harassing people or threatening animals.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Sometime but I usually like to scope people out first as I have stated in the past, I'm shy so sometimes I have to work through that first.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Yes to list a few

Ari from a starwars fanfiction by @lillybaaaka

Val and Kaz by @jev-urisk

Ashley by @gioiaalbanoart

almost all of @the-golden-comet s OC's

Royston is my favorite oc of @fortunatetragedy s story and that's not going to change easily.

And several others I'll stop listing now or we will be here all day and I do mean that literally.

Np tag @jev-urisk @the-golden-comet @thatuselesshuman @gioiaalbanoart @fortunatetragedy @aintgonnatakethis @lillybaaaka @evilwriter-originals @stars-forever

[bropunzeling]

11, 22, 37!

11 Three tropes that are fine but overrated

oh gosh hmm. some of these are gonna come across as hypocritical lmao and also insert a healthy dose of "for me specifically" but: (1) i think soulbond/soulmark tropes can be done well, but mid executions of the trope focus a lot on ~finding~ the person rather than interrogating what it means to have bonds or marks or things of that nature, and leave a lot of interesting nuances about choice and free will and conflict between romantic relationships and other things you might want (career, friendship, autonomy, etc) on the table. i wish more takes on the trope let it be messy! (2) hurt/comfort done well is really fun but when people are just like. aggressively making their little guy sad and pathetic and a poor little meow meow whose never done anything wrong it gets grating. i love a sad guy but i prefer when they're sad because of shit they did to themselves instead of external factors. (3) curtain fic/established relationship stuff can be fun sometimes but like. there still needs to be a smidgen of conflict or growth or change or a shift for me to be interested. there has to be a point imo! even when i write my silly self-indulgent post-fic time stamps its important to me that there's a point to it beyond just "im love them" (though im DO love them)

22 What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

i think the thing is, there can always be a new dimension to how these two idiots fall in love!!! every story is an opportunity to get at some new nugget of like, how people are, or what it is to be vulnerable and open and willing to risk heartache. with two different people you have so many opportunities to look at different shades and facets of their character. especially with rpf where real life events can shape characterization in real time. The Trade opened up a whole new dimension of matthew that creates new angles to investigate matthew&leon and what it means to fall in love with someone thousands of miles away and who you see even less (or, someday, for my break up/make up agenda)! jamie getting dealt to philly opens up new ways to poke at the jamie/trevor relationship by adding distance and tragedy and the potential of falling for other people! even picking a new trope or time period is just so fun for being like, now how would they be under THESE circumstances? also like, i LOVE flip-flopping who gets to be down bad immediately and who is oblivious because it's not only a fun creative challenge but also just opens up new worlds. idk! there's so many possibilities and so many facets to explore and to me that's delightful.

37 Do you research before writing or while you write? Is it fun or boring for you?

id say i do some up front, just to nail down the broad beats of the story and to minimize how much reworking i have to do later on (or for period type fics, to make sure that i dont introduce plot points that simply cant have happened in that time frame!), and some i do as i go -- for example, for a while there i just HAD the battles of alberta in 21-22 down pat because i was using them so often to shape story beats, but the games in between i had to look up as i went. i also am constantly pulling from new articles or features that offer new bits of characterization i want to use. tbh with the current wip i DO feel very wobbly because i don't have my normal anchors of the schedule/have to make things up, which is simultaneously freeing and hard because it's so much easier for me to write about sports games that really happened than the fake ones im constructing for the narratives 😂. but yeah id say mostly i research as i go!

[simlicious]

I am not posting much atm, here is why

heya, I'm pretty quiet on the posting front at the moment. This has several reasons. Since this might come across as a bit whiny, feel free to skip this personal ramble.

The good stuff first: I made a pact with my best friend and now we take a long walk together every week to increase our fitness levels. It encourages me to leave the house and get some fresh air and be in nature and it feels very good! We actually did a lot more together in the last months than just the walk, so I am quite busy and also often exhausted from the activity. I have also gotten back into Anno 1800 now that the game has reached its final state, and I am fixing some old mods that are not available anymore but I cannot live without, and I am also working on some of my own mods. The reason why I am taking a break from making patterns has mainly to do with the negative feelings I developed in the last months. I have been putting off writing this post for weeks, but my feelings have not gone away and I want to address this particular issue. Tbh, I often get aggravated when viewing my dash these days. I'm not the most emotionally stable person and my self-worth comes also from external sources, like feedback for my patterns, which is not ideal, but it is what it is right now. Lately, I feel that as a creator of recolorable patterns, I am being pushed deep into a corner. I've always considered myself a niche creator, catering to patterns kinda does that! But I feel like I am becoming obsolete, now that a lot of creators only make Sims 4 conversions and are usually not fully recolorable. I also fear that more and more creators will forget/will never learn how to make clothes and objects recolorable if all they do is add non-recolorable Sims 4 presets. I consider the Create-A-Style tool to be the most important feature of TS3 (together with open worlds). It is such a unique feature, and it breaks my heart to see that not being valued as such. I feel like we should celebrate that, and I try to with my patterns, but it's just so hard to keep it up when most creators do not seem to particularly care anymore. I wish more creators would make the good old Frankenmeshes 😥 I would love to see more ts3 and ts4 frankenmesh mashups. Creators would need to learn how to turn Sims 4 textures into greyscale ones and step up their uv-mapping game a bit, and then it could be a thing... There could even be an open library of recolorable sims 4 textures and remapped meshes that all creators could contribute to. That way, creators could use them and would not need to remake every texture from scratch by themselves. Over time, that would greatly decrease the effort that would need to be put in to make new creations this way... I know that most of you follow me because you really value my patterns and use them in your games, and I know that people who play mainly with vanilla content won't have that problem at all, as 99% the EA stuff can be recolored. But it's just that I see those non-recolorable conversions everywhere on my dash, and it is so disheartening. I guess as a creator, I want to feel welcome in the TS3 creator community, and lately, I do not feel particularly seen or valued as a member of that group. Maybe my Tumblr bubble has shoved me somewhat outside of the group that I would feel more valued in? Maybe I need to adjust my dash. But I do not want to unfollow everyone who posts these conversions. They are nice in their own right, it's just that I can't handle them very well right now. How do you deal with stuff that you do not want to see? do you unfollow people, do you block tags? I've been mostly avoiding my dash, but that does not seem like a good solution. If you post gameplay pics with my patterns or are a creator that makes their stuff CAS-Tool compatible, feel free to tell me below so I can follow you. Just seeing more people use my patterns would probably lift my spirits!

[magical-glimpse]

your readings are so great tbh it’s nice to see people having such a connection with the universe! Do u think you could do an energy check on the members?

Thank you !! You're so nice !! I still have a lot to learn tbh, but im glad you love my readings !

As always,

For entertainment purposes only.

Jin:At the same time, he sees the military as a break from his idol life, but he also want a break from the military lol.A lot of it has got to do with him having to fight his nature.He's naturally a lot more laid back and fun than the circumstances mostly let him be.I think one of his past investments is growing while he isnt there, and the fruits are getting ready for whe he will come back.He is also torn between two options for a choice ( idk what tho).He is feeling out of touch with his purpose while understanding why this had to happen.It is helping him develop another side of himself, and he is learning to balance them.

NJ:He didnt want any cards, but hes saying he is thinking about things deeply.He seemed like i caught him off guard when he was in the middle of a reflection ?You know when people are trying to explain something to you but they are getting caught up in the cobwebs of their thoughts?Yeah, him rn.

Yoongi:OK so Yoongi teased me and dared me to do it with no cards.He said he is feeling quite peaceful and content/satisfied rn.It's the phase where the stage euphoria came down but youre not quite into post show blues yet.Just quiet, happy, calm, tranquil.Moving slowly, relaxed.I saw him going down a slow river sitting on a surfboard with his eyes closed.So yeah, nice.

Hobi:He seemed pretty excited to do the reading but the first card that came out was the Tower ??I think he is going through a very transformative phase but he is also really excited for it. A sense of oh finally.A lot of his fears and deep anxieties are coming down, he is cutting through them with a new sense of rationality and outspokenness(?) He is becoming less afraid of telling his truth and is not letting himself being held back and literally tied down by how other people see him.He is very strssed tho, and is using good old breathing techniques to relax. (Which kinda makes sense bc i feel like since the military his energy has been mostly quiet except for random burst of really wanting to talk, so i guess it is linked to his stress levels ?)

Jimin:I think he might have asked someone out recently and it went very well ?WHAT- PARK JIMIN GO BACK WITH YOUR 18+ STUFF NO-hm hm, so boy is having fun.In general, he is spending time on things and people he love, going out, learning new things, connecting or reconnecting with people, following where his passion and emotions lead him.He is also really enjoying having attention rn.

Tae:A part of him want to keep very private, but hes seeing around.As in learning things, discovering art he didnt know, a little imaginative.He has been hurt by public attention too much and wants to withdraw a little.He doesnt want ARMY to worry though, he just want us to understand he is human, and that would be hard on anyone. JK:Jk felt pumped up and talkative lol.So he learning to let things go and to find his joy in the things he has right now, he is learning to be happy.It is the end of a trial for him.He had many options and he thinks he picked right.It is the end of the phase.The next one might be the one where he meets his twin flame (if you have followed me for a while, you would know he insists on talking about them almost everytime lol).Their psychic link will strengthen like never before.He is in general quite happy with where he got in life and proud of himself for recent lessons he learned and went through

[prumanoenjoyer]

Doing this thing because I got blorbos on my mind

A - Current OTPs/OT3s etc.

It may not come as a surprise but I am absolutely rotting on PruMano at all times and have been doing so for basically a year now. It's beginning to melt into my personality and nothing can be done about it. Whenever I'm released from the iron grip of PruMano rotting I enjoy GerIta and FrUk like the normie that I am. The BTT are definitely getting together for threesomes when they're all single and I like them as well.

B - Pairing I initially didn't consider

This might shock you after reading the first bit but. PruMano. See I'm not new to this circus, I first watched Hetalia in 2015 but focused mostly on the Nordic 5 with SuFin and DenNor. This was before PruAus 9/11 (Hima suddenly announcing they're cousins) so I think I was on the PruAus rot.

Other than that I got a friend who I dragged into this hellhole (you know who you are) who has infected me with Frain and TurFra. I have some Thoughts about TurPru but uhh. let's leave that for now.

C - Ships I never liked and never will like

All the ones where there is an unbalanced power dynamic (age gaps, having interacted when one was a child and the other way older etc, former colonies and oppressive states, having a relationship that implies being related etc). I am a seasoned hater of these and I do my best to block anyone who as much as reblogs it. I do not care if it's "just fiction" you guys are weird and not in a good way xoxo

D - Ships I just can't get myself to like

Due to the aforementioned PruMano rot I just don't feel seriously interested in any other pairings I fear. Nothing against PruCan or LietPru for example, I am just so rotted on PruMano that it doesn't make me feel anything lol

E - My crack contributions

I may just be the only person who has even considered TurPru and I have done it in the most unbearable fujoshi way possible </3

Other than that I'm helping out with spreading unrequited GerFra, Frain and TurFra which I do also enjoy on the side.

F - Longest I've been in a fandom

I wanna say this one?? Not actively so, I jumped ship to other things such as Love Live and JJBA in early 2019ish (Love Live even earlier in 2017), but even during my longer breaks from Hetalia I've always ended up rewatching it at some point or posting about it.

G - First OTP

For Hetalia it's definitely been GerIta from day one. Do I even need to say anything? To me they're canon.

H - Favorite way of consuming fandom stuff

It's mostly anime series and TV shows I'd say, I do sometimes read but am a bit too busy to properly sit down and do so.

I - Has Tumblr made me dislike fandoms

I think it would take less time to list the fandoms Tumblr HASN'T made me dislike tbh. I try to keep a tight knit circle for my own sanity and rarely interact with the fandom part of stuff apart from my own and my friend's contributions. Highly recommended btw.

J - Fandoms I didn't notice until Tumblr

To be honest I'm not really browsing Tumblr at all. I like to upload here because the image quality is way better than on Instagram. I suppose I highly associate some fandoms with this site (Undertale for example)?

K - Say something nice about someone

You should all go like and subscribe to fruktual on Instagram for more FrUk and Frainposting

L - Say something nice about a mid character

Lithuania I'm sure you are way more interesting than I give you credit for and I care about you the most out of the Baltic Trio (which I honestly forget exists at times)

M - Something nice about a ship I don't like

I'd honestly rather pull a tooth out than say a single word of praise for things such as UsUk or Spamano 🤢🤢🤢🤢 And that's on periodt!

N - Things I wish to see more of in the fandom

More PruMano please please please please please pl

O - Song that reminds me of a ship

Til There Was You by The Beatles makes me think of GerIta, as well as Kingdom Come by Red Velvet

As for PruMano it would be Tales Of Great Ulysses by Cream because I had that on repeat writing my Ancient Rome PruMano AU lol

P - New AU

I'm working on/will be working on a Frankenstein PruMano AU where Gilbert is a much more empathic Victor Frankenstein and Lovino is too traumatized from dying and being resurrected to be out killing people. Look forward to that...

Q - Ship I've abandoned and why

PruAus because Hima came in with a warhammer and bludgeoned it to the cousinzone R.I.P </3

R - Pairing I think no one else ships

Again with TurPru, I seriously wonder whether it's been considered at all. Most likely not.

S - Personal headcanon

Okay more or less true I guess if you bother to read the source material but Gilbert is just a silly loser guy. Like, he's a total himbo. I love him and need to gnaw on him.

T - Headcanons I'll die defending

That Gilbert and Lovino who share a passion for chivalry and knights would definitely go visit museums and LARPing events such as medieval weeks and whatnot. Just warms my cold little heart <3

U - 5 faves from 5 different fandoms

Oh boy. Forgive me for what I'm about to share.

(Hetalia) Gilbert Beilschmidt

(JJBA) Dio Brando

(Madoka) Kyouko Sakura

(Love Live) Yoshiko Tsushima

(Gakkou Gurashi or School Live) Kurumi Ebisuzawa

V - 3 OTPs from different fandoms

(Hetalia) PruMano (shocker, I know)

(Madoka) HomuMado

(Love Live) YohaRiko

W - 5 ships ft 5 kinks for said ship

So obviously gonna skip over the ones featuring minors.

PruMano - Verbal degradation, sadism, masochism, somewhat fear aspect, leaving marks

I do also just think they love each other and have normal sex and that's fine too, but I did write a fanfic where the abovementioned happens

X - My top 5 babygirls

1. Gilbert, I bully him a lot but don't you ever seriously say something mean about him because I will be so sad </3

2. Lovino, he's a flawed man and some of you are MEAN to him for having it rough

3. Rome, some people who haven't read source material claim there's some favoritism going on, he does visit Lovino as well okay? The allegations are canonically false!

4. Ludwig, I think most of us agree he's a good person but for the rare few who claim he's "verbally abusive". Go outside and touch grass no he isn't. GerIta has always been them antagonizing one another, the battlefield is even or perhaps even in Feliciano's favor. Ludwig will never be able to escape the nightmare and I don't think Feli wants him to. They're bound together forever and love it.

5. Roderich, gets slack for various Chibitalia related things, does not deserve it at all, it's all whining and he and Feli are on good terms in modern times. Relax.

Y - Fandoms in-law

My current close friends are into Baldurs Gate 3, Watch Dogs, Dishonored, Evillous Chronicles (Vocaloid), Utena and more. But these are the primary blorbo shows in-law.

Z - Rambling time

Okay if you've gotten this far down I admire your attention span lol thanks. I don't really have all that much to say that is concrete and comprehensible but I am thinking of PruMano and of warm days by the Mediterranean Sea and skies later lit in vivid shades of red and orange as the hot sun sets and the cities come to life. I am also thinking about them cuddling, which I do quite a lot.

Anyway that was all for me bye

[cerealmonster15]

im finding other stuff in my quest to search discord messages so twst doodle dump of various images [from like 2022 and earlier i think] below [a lot of cater/idia and cater/malleus lol] i'd warn u and say it is UGLY!!! but tbh it's probs not that different from stuff i normally post teehee :3

this was one of those aftermath doodles after my friend and i established the running joke of cater and the mysterious marshmallows

lol, in that message i was i think looking back thru older krita docs and reminiscing on things, one of them being how i kept running into malleus/cater everywhere..... i feel like i havent drawn them much lately and that sucks because i still LOVE AND THINK OF THEM OFTEN!!!! theyve been one of my og twst ships lol theyre such a funny combo and i think theyre cute!!!!!!!!!!!!

presses my fingers to the side of my head and tries to remember wtf was going on here... this was def one of those posts that was mostly inside jokes with my friend / riffing off various scenarios we were yes and-ing but im finding them out of context lol... this one has a lot of layers , the coconut banana and marshmallow all meant something but kjfsdhflksdj im not sure id be able to explain it if i tried LOL + im realizing i was already playing w/the idea of cater and leona as a duo way earlier than i remembered lol

what did it MEANNNN like i kind of remember the coconut. friend and i had a lot of jokes of scenarios where regular items would go thru like, either a chain of rumors or the Hit New Magicam Trend Only Some People Know About so like i think coconuts were the icon of DISSATISFACTION or BREAK UPS or something in the way of like, flower languages. except a coconut. i do not remember how or why we got there with coconuts specifically lol. so i feel like the banana was something similar but my friend and i are scratching our heads and dont remember so i just have all these doodles of bitches and their bananas and it means SOMETHING. but i forgot what lol. it's kind of funnier this way tho. ace hitting deuce with a banana doesnt really need context anyway :3

i feel like i posted this one before with either no context or a feeble attempt at explaining it. this is also more like what my handwriting looks like when im not making an active attempt to make it legible lol

okay wait i figured out the banana stuff and it literally didnt even have more context, it was just bc we alwayyyys call savanaclaw bananaclaw [like grim did in book 1 lol] and i was deep in the silly zone soap opera of my malleus/cater agenda vs leona Being There for drama. just like. malleus saying cay smells like bananas -> caters been like, standing near leona in class. that was it LOL i just took the joke and ran around in circles with it for funsies. i do miss when i did more stupid doodles like these jflkdhslgfj my friend and i dont do as much riffing with the sillies tho so i guess less fodder to feed the goofs 😔i feel like i need to relax and let loose again more lollll anyway!!! im still on the marshmallow hunt

heres cay on a sticky note w/the marshmallow.......

i would also like to know caycay. also TYPO SPOTTED

he is the marshmallow source. but still not the og doodle

bug eyed idia jumpscare but hes kinda cute w/his lil marshmallow lol. i still love a tiny guy with huge eyes teehee

OOH I FOUND THE WHITE DAY DOODLES except i drew these in feb lol like the day after valentines lol. an everyone has a crush on caycay scenario i think??? because i love my son and showing favoritism

okay let's unpack that and by unpack i mean me yapping about what i think was the context.......... tbh i dont remember much LOL it seems i was trying to learn what white day was bc i really mostly just knew about it from harvest moon

and this bit from wikipedia kickstarted MARSHMALLOWS. it seems i was looking that up too bc i'd wanted to just draw cater ships for valentines day for funsies!!! but then i didnt bc i was in a MOOD of some sort, maybe i just didnt like what i was drawing that day, and i was like "ok whatever ill avenge myself on white day i guess" and then i suppose i didnt do that bc i ended up drawing ^ all of that the next day lol i immediately changed my mind

except i found this which i DID draw on valentiens day

teehee i just drew them yesterday....... but anyway back to the situation at hand!!

i was drawing cay with various boyos and i think it was something like

cater unaware of all the soap opera pining, hes the otome star or whatever on this white day or valentines day lol

cater/leona - the start of this [i think] btw was when engtwst dropped, ive talked about it before but just the word choice in book 2 when they had cater go "leona, sweetheart, blah blah blah" my friend and i were like SWEETHEART?? and we always just call them the forbidden sweetheart au. that localization choice did irreversible things to my brain chemistry lol.

idia leaving cater a giant marshmallow secretly. hes unaware cater doesnt like sweet things, but idia himself is a big sweets fan, hes lurking behind the tree to make sure cay received it but doesnt wanna be SEEN

trey is i think giving cater a quiche and caters just glad it's not a candy lol

malleus giving cater a milkshake, and i think he's referencing the first fic i ever wrote of them together where cater taught malleus what a milkshake was and brought him to heartslabyul to make one for him. it's also the second twst fic i ever posted fdsghdskj throwback.... in this image jade is also starting to appear in the background

rook sending cater a card with LOVE via one of his fuckass arrows. in the way i think he did in book 5 when he was letting the vdc contestants know they passed? i think he did it that way right?? sometimes i think i made that up or am confusing it with fanfiction but im... pretty sure he did that..... like im p sure thats why i did it here too lol so surely that is the case. jade is still lurking in the background

cater is clinging to riddle and is expressing his confusion and distress of all the weird attention he's been getting today!!! riddle is holding a box he is also about to give cater bc teehee i've been on that cater/riddle grind FOREVER!!! jade is getting closer.

deuce and ace with their lil puppylove crushes or something i think lol, maybe they just think upperclassman caycay's cute and friendly lol. idr if they gave him a gift or if cater was just being cater calling them cute lol. JADE.........

vil also gave cater a gift, earrings i guess, and is the only one to notice and acknowledge jade now that he is Right There Directly Behind Cater Waiting To Be Noticed

jade finally gives cater his gift via opening his bag of items and dumping various mushrooms and seashells on him lol. he collected all the white ones to be on theme maybe if this was white day??? or maybe it was just JADES MUSHROOMS + our other running joke about the merfolk gifting shells to people they want to date lol

cater comes back to trey and is like omg im so glad ur boring trey today was too WEIRD!!!!!!

lol......... okay that is ENOUGH of a look into my mind palace!!! i really do miss my low stakes doodles where i was only sometimes afraid of being cringe but i was mostly just doodling jokes with my friend lol. no worries about being too off the rails or nothin just party time!!! i mean i would sometimes still get embarrassed bc of How I Am As A Person LOL but. it was a lot less fjksdhgkdsfj we gotta go back to our roots boys. we gotta draw cater soap opera marshmallow reboot. i have to draw fanart of my own stupid fanart and revive my WHIMSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[boqvistsbabe]

Update!!!!!!!!

Hey Y’all!!

Here is the start of hopefully monthly updates. I know in my last update I said I was going to be more consistently here and active. Obviously, that didn’t happen lol. Trying to hold myself to that rn. So this is probably going to be the format for all of my update posts, just so they are easier to follow.

Refresh:

So I am almost completely done with the blog refresh. I think all that is left is updating links and getting some other posts (ex: theme days) made/redone. Most of that got put on the back burner due to how long they were going to take lol. But hopefully, over Spring Break, I’ll be able to get those done (no promises, another thing I’m trying to do, is be more realistic about what I want to get done by when so). 

Writing/Other Content:

Ik I said I’d write more. Once again didn’t really happen. Well, I have written a decent bit, but never finished anything. There is one fic that I am going to try and work on after this week (midterms lol) and have someone look over it (the first time I’ve had a beta reader, look at me go lol). Like the blog as a whole, I am trying to organize my writing, like requests and my ideas and what is going out when etc. (@ any of the other writers if you have any suggestions of what to/where to organize my stuff so it doesn’t get all confusing and mixed up you should def let me know). Speaking of requests, I am going to try and do at least two requests a month. That doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, that feels like something I can realistically do. I will be doing old requests first because even though they are years old at this point, I liked the ideas so I genuinely want to write them. I am still going to be accepting new requests (esp because sometimes that helps spark creativity/help with writer’s block so feel free to send in any ideas!!) but I will try to get those older ones done first. As for any other content (playlists, moodboards, IG edits, drawings, etc.) I am also taking requests for those so feel free to send in any of those requests too. 

Another Blog?!

As of rn the second hockey blog has not been “released”. I want to catch up on things for this blog before I throw that into the mix and try to grow that as well. I am hoping to add that sometime this summer. Also, I do technically have a sideblog already (@samistheman) which is normally where I reblog random things, and I don’t really have tags for that blog I just kinda willy-nilly reblog there (it used to be mostly PJO stuff but now that’s kind of here because of how much of it there is lol).

Life Update:

College is a lot rn. I’m doing 17 credit hours and tbh do not know what possessed me to do that. At first, I was doing pretty good, but now not so much. Like I said earlier I have midterms this week. If y’all didn’t know this, I’m shit at taking tests so not doing great rn. Thankfully one of my classes ends on Sunday so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that is impacting a lot so trying to navigate that as well. I am moving out in May, which is yes months from now but there is still a lot that I need to do beforehand. Anyway, I’m going to a college hockey game on Thursday and I am super excited. I haven’t been able to go to a game since October. Also little fun update, I’m going on a weekend (work) trip to Boston. Super excited for that. I’ll be getting to go to a Celtics game and a Red Sox game (I’m a Royals girlie tho). I’ve never been to an NBA game so that’s for sure gonna be really cool. I’ve been to many MLB games before but this will be my first at a different stadium. Anyway, I think that is it for this update. Hope y’all are doing well!!

As usual, if y’all ever want to talk dms/inbox are open <3

I am going to tag some moots, I am totally forgetting some people so I am sorry for that (if y'all could reblog that would be amazing)

@2manytabsopen @krugstrash @jimmystrudel @andreburakozy @sidneycrosbyhoe @fallinallincurls @timstuetzle @typical-simplelove @ilyasorokinn @drei-mrssvechii

[beatsboy]

7.28.24 / day 35 of romanticizing my life until i love myself again

it’s almost 2am, i woke up about an hour ago from a 5 hour “nap” after going to a queer day market to support my friend selling their art, and it was really cute and i was honestly super social as i have not had that much social interaction lately (getting used to living alone and having to actively go out and seek social interaction has changed my capacity when i do have it so much, like crazy not feeling drained every time i leave the house because i’ve already been like 5 people’s father/therapist/cleaner/etc before getting to the place i’m going to be supportive/present for someone else) but god damn it was so f u c k i n g hot and tbh i’m very proud of myself for making it as long as i did i only made it thanks to the ice cream vender who put my ice pack necklace (shoutout to my mom who has these for menopause and told me about them) in her cooler so it could get cold again and the lemonade vender who gave me a giant cup of ice to hold against various parts of my body to stay cool af and i got to talk about the music video, and future music videos, the more we talk about this stuff, the more motivated i feel to work on music i want to get to the part where i get to be the thing i’ve been building mostly in my brain for so long

originally, we were going for summer release, and then everything got all fucked up with my roommate situation and moving but i think it was meant to happen this way; this project is better suited for the fall, regardless, and clearly brat has taken over this summer in terms of music, on all levels, especially in the hyperpop scene there are still brat parties going on in la, smaller artists are still reaping the benefits of this album (though not getting much credit, as per usual) love seeing the dare dj a petal supply remix of a brat song and getting all the credit, it’s fine we can continue letting cis white dudes get the credit for queer artists, it’s fine i was literally at a brat market today, where everyone had brat merchandise it’s hard for any other music to break through the brat noise in pop/hyperpop right now, not to mention, boypop is kind of fucking freaky, so i do think sept/oct release would be good for the theme

i rewatch the assembly of the first minute or so of footage and literally cannot believe that that is me these are the movements i practice in the shower, in the corner, in my room, when no one’s looking, movements, expressions, i rarely actually see and the thing is, when i do see, i often shrink from them when i tried to practice performing like this in front of a mirror, i always lost it, the authenticity of it, the commitment, giving fully into the performance, the character, the self that’s the only way, in my opinion, to perform, because any level of restraint pulls you back to reality, that i am just a human, an insecure boy, going through puberty for the second time in his life of 27 years, afraid that he hasn’t done enough in his short time on this earth and wishes he’d taken a life-altering journey to a faraway planet where pop music was the harbinger of liberation instead of a stint in rehab and a coke addiction

anyway, market was fun, although so so hot, and after not going out all weekend, especially after thinking i was going to go to the rave on friday night and not, i really needed some socialization, with friends, and new people, and really needed some real time spent out of my apartment i got a really cute trucker hat that says “gay son” that i’m obsessed with and a really beautiful zine made by a trans guy about his gender journey (originally to raise money for his top surgery, which he had evidently already had, as he was standing there, fearlessly, with his shirt off) i honestly didn’t want to spend another $10 (i literally still have to make my rent in the next 3 days but telling myself i got this) but i think i just feel this intense awe when i see other trans guys post op shirtless, so free in a way i cannot imagine being so, naturally, i was blinded and overcome with this feeling, so i paid the $10 for the zine, and of course i do not regret it at all another vender had a kitten cafe with two 2 week old kittens inside (pictured) because they were too young to be left alone and while i was worried about them and the heat, they were quite cute

after being at the market for over 4 hours, af and i came back to my place, where i made us greek wraps with ground turkey and homemade tzatziki and cucumbers after we walked to h mart to get fresh tortillas i showed them the latest version of “boypop” which is so close i can taste the final mix (and am a bit mad i didn’t work on it today, but it’s fine, i was exhausted) they noticed the automation, the changes i’ve been making, i feel like i’ve actually been moving forward in my work this past week instead of just hyperfixating and going in circles, which is a danger i face in the finishing phase it’s hard to let go of a project, to let it be done i still listen to “king” and think of different harmonies i could record now with my current voice and i can sing whatever i want live, but the recording is done, the mix is done, there are no more changes to be made

i think, in the same way that i love people for their potential, and not always for who they are right now, i see a song as it’s potential, which is why i can imagine so much more than what is actually in front of me, and translate that symphony in my head into the daw, and i also why it’s so hard to let go, to stop, to step away from the infinity of changes and evolutions each project could still face sometimes it feels like i could just work on something forever and as i learn new things it will keep getting better and better, but at some point, i just have to let go

when i was a kid, my dad told me that an artist’s first album is always the best because it’s the cumulation of only their best works at the time, but then they just have to keep creating and they slowly get worse and worse i don’t know why i let this stick with me, more insidious influence from my father on a career i hadn’t even chosen when i knew him, it was just some dumb musing from a middle-aged man making himself feel smart by making a comment about maroon fucking 5

his birthday was 2 weeks ago i wonder if it makes him sad, on his birthday, at the age of 66, knowing he’s grown to be the kind of man who would offer back his relationship to his child, who has grown to hate him more than he hates himself, at a price, who has grown to be a man who can put a price tag on anything, even his love and support knowing he is one of the only people left in this planet, soon including even TSA agents and the DMV, to call me that name to wonder if i will ever come back, if i will ever call, if i will ever reach out, if i will ever show up and say i’m sorry dad you were right all along i got off the path and i sold my body and i want to go back to my normal life with a check for $5000, crying, and return to his control (i won’t) he tells my brother that it’s on me, ball’s in my court, if i want to come back that’s all i have to do, say sorry and pay the fine my terms have always been more simple, which i have communicated let’s talk, with a therapist present you two (parents) schedule (since they have crazy schedules) and i will be flexible (even though i too have crazy schedule) “he said he’s willing” my mother claimed, but it never came to fruition, of course not i blocked his number at first, i had to he wouldn’t stop calling, threatening me, telling me i’d made my mother sick with my behavior (becoming financially independent after realizing i was being financially/emotionally abused) i responded to his emails for a while, but they got worse, so i stopped then, his dad died, and i unblocked him just to call and give my condolences i left him unblocked after that. he could have called any time he wanted, but he didn’t i would know if he’d even tried

i wonder if my dad, too, ever sat alone in his first solo apartment journaling about his thoughts and reflecting on the ways his actions impacted other people mostly i hope not, because i don’t want to know if he did good things before he went bad, i want his fate to feel impossible for me to come to i already know that he read the tao te ching and the four agreements, things i’ve read as a young adult, that have brought me peace, that have taught me ways to move through the world, that don’t make sense when i think of him, and it makes me uneasy i don’t want to envision him being a morally good person and suddenly turning it makes me fear that i could still face the turn, when i want to believe that i have avoided it, that i am not capable of becoming a man like That

but, in truth, we are all capable of becoming like that, of selling out to some idea worse than what we believe in because it’s easy, because what we’re doing now is hard, because the rat race is tiring on the ground because our bodies are tired because maybe our fathers were right and the world’s a hard place and maybe i won’t because i know he wasn’t right, he never was, he was a professional bully who practiced on his wife and children but it is in every decision we make, daily, hourly, minute by minute, that determines who we are, and in ever decision, we can make the turn, we can cave and be cruel, we can give in and take the easy route, knowing that each of those decisions pulls us closer to That which we fear becoming the evil you fear lies as much in buying all your furniture on amazon as it does saying something cruel to someone who doesn’t deserve it just because you’ve had a stressful morning as much as the goodness you chase lives in being friendly to the coffee employee who’s taking forever on your drink when you’re late because it’s not their fault and their morning is just as important as yours as much as it lives in buying from local artists every decision determines how you move through the world, connecting each step and choice like a river, that is where you find where you’ll end up, which ocean you end up submerged in, which fish you will find yourself swimming into the dark night with and i crave free, calm waters for when i my end