#the brain rot took over at work today and it got stuck

[justagalwhowrites]

Turkey Trouble - A TSATS Thanksgiving One Shot

You try to make Thanksgiving dinner for your newly adopted niece, Ellie, but need some help from Joel. A one shot set in the The Savage and the Sanctuary universe.

Pairing: Bodyguard!Joel Miller x Movie Star!Female Reader (from The Savage and the Sanctuary)

Length: 1.7k

CW: SFW; lil angst; modern no outbreak AU but Sarah is still dead (sorry Joel); NO SMUT; no use of Y/N; whole fic this is set in has mature themes and will have smut so minors DNI 18+ only

A/N: You can thank @diversemediums for this because she gave me the brain rot. This would be harder to read as a stand alone fic but it can be done with the understanding that Joel is reader's bodyguard and they have an antagonistic relationship. Reader has recently adopted her best friend's daughter, Ellie, after her friend's death. I'm not sure yet if this is canon or not but it could be? I haven't written to this time in the story yet but I THINK this is about where they'll be emotionally at Thanksgiving.

Joel hated Thanksgiving. 

He used to like it. Back when he was a father he liked it. He and Sarah would watch the parade, he’d make cinnamon rolls and the whole dinner spread, Tommy would bring over burnt mac and cheese and the three of them would go to Waffle House and to pick out a Christmas tree the next morning. 

Now, it was all a reminder of everything he’d lost, of just how little he had left to live for. 

So he took his time getting out of bed on Thanksgiving morning, not looking forward to spending the day missing something he could never have again, something that seemed even more painful when he was facing it with you and Ellie. 

But, eventually, his need for coffee forced him to move and he padded to the kitchen, not bothering to change out of the flannel pants and t-shirt he’d slept in. 

Ellie was on the couch with a mug of cocoa and a cinnamon roll, the parade on and she smirked at him. 

“Well don’t you look pretty in the morning,” she teased. 

“It’s Thanksgiving,” he said, trying to not take his foul mood out on the kid he’d become overly fond of in the last few months. “Not in the mood for a fashion show today.” 

“Oh so the jeans are a fashion show,” she said. “Got it.” 

He rolled his eyes and headed for the kitchen. 

“Careful,” she called after him. “She’s in a mood.” 

“Great,” he muttered, pressing on, anyway. 

You were, indeed, in a mood, standing at your massive kitchen island with a turkey that was far too big for the number of people you were feeding, frowning at a recipe, your hands covered in butter. 

Joel snorted. 

“The hell are you doin’?” 

You looked up to find him, seemingly surprised to find him there.

“Making a turkey,” you said. “What does it look like?” 

“Looks like you’re making a mess,” he said, going around you for the mugs and pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

“Well, cooking is messy,” you said, chin up defiantly. 

“Not that messy,” he said, smirking a little as he leaned back against the counter, crossing an arm over his chest while he drank his coffee. “Where’s Esmo.” 

“It’s Thanksgiving,” you said, incredulous. “I’m not about to ask her to work.” 

“Right,” he said, even though he definitely should have seen that coming when he thought about it. “You ever made a Thanksgiving dinner before?” 

“None of your business,” you said, going back to the turkey and trying to smear butter over it and failing. 

“It is if I’m stuck using this kitchen,” he said. “You’re gonna get salmonella everywhere.”

You glared at him. 

“Well there’s a first time for everything,” you said. “And all I have to do is follow the recipe, so…” 

Joel shoved himself off the counter and looked over your shoulder, down at the recipe. It was not, as he’d expected, some bullshit celebrity cookbook but a simple, handwritten index card. 

He skimmed the instructions and realized that there were parts missing that were probably simple assumptions that you just didn’t know about. 

“Where’s this from?” He asked. 

“Anna,” you said. “Ellie’s mom. She’s hosted Thanksgiving and made a legitimately amazing turkey, Ellie loved it even as a little kid. I should have paid more attention last year but I was stupid and I didn’t and I just want Ellie to have a normal Thanksgiving and I have Anna’s recipe and I just need to figure it out…”

Joel’s chest tightened at that. You wanted Ellie to have a good Thanksgiving, a holiday that was like the ones she had before her mother died. She deserved that. And Joel understood why you’d be dead set on being the one to give it to her. 

He cleared his throat before he got too choked up, trying to remind himself of the distance he’d been struggling to maintain with you. 

“Well, you’re doing it wrong,” he said, taking a sip of coffee. 

You glared at him. 

“Unless you’re some Thanksgiving dinner expert…” 

“Made more than you have,” he said, almost smug. 

“Really,” you said brows raised, incredulous. He shrugged. “You’ve made a turkey.” 

“Sure,” he said. “Plenty. Not sure if you know this but most people don’t got private chefs at their beck and call…” 

“Oh, fuck off.” 

“Do you want my help or not?” He asked. 

“I wasn’t aware you were offering,” you said. 

“Well,” he shrugged. “I am.” 

You ground your teeth for moment before you sighed, literally throwing up your hands. 

“Fine,” you said. “Show me.” 

“Well,” he said, putting his cup down. “For starters…” 

He stuck his hand inside the cavity of the bird and found the neck, pulling it free and holding it up. 

“You gotta take this out.” 

You laughed and groaned. 

“Jesus,” you said. “Alright, Big Miller, show me how it’s done.” 

Joel had to give you credit, you’d done a better job than he’d expected once he took a closer look at the bird. He helped get the rest of dinner ready to go, giving you smaller tasks to do while he managed the turkey. With the two of you working together, you were both able to make it to the living room before the parade was done, sitting on either side of Ellie and watching the musical acts perform and the floats go by. 

Part of him hurt, sitting there with a girl who wasn’t his daughter doing something that had once felt sacred. He didn’t let himself hurt like that anymore, he tried to drown it or shove it down deep as best he could but sometimes he just couldn’t. He couldn’t now. 

But, for some reason, it didn’t bother him the same way this time. Hearing Ellie make a bad pun (“Did you know they took turkey off the menu for Thanksgiving? I suspect fowl play.”), watching you bob your head in time to a musical number, smelling the turkey once it had been in the oven for a bit, even the taste of the coffee with the cinnamon roll warmed something inside him. The pain of loss was still there but so was this strange sense that it didn’t need to consume all of him. That there could be moments worth living for, things that weren’t defined by the missing pieces - even if that piece felt like everything. 

You got the hang of basting relatively quickly and Joel showed you how to make the other Thanksgiving staples, things that he’d once made for his daughter that he was now making for the girl who had become yours. When Elise, Ellie’s grandmother, came over that afternoon, things had come together well. 

“Where’d you learn how to do this?” You asked Joel as you arranged the last of the dishes on the laden dining room table. “You don’t strike me as the chef type.” 

Joel looked at you for a moment and considered telling you the truth, at least for a second. Part of him wanted you to know this, know him. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to say it, her name getting stuck in his throat. 

Instead he just shrugged, setting down a bowl of mashed potatoes. 

“Tommy ain’t much of a cook,” he said. “When our mom died, Thanksgiving didn’t make itself.” 

You cocked your head at him for a moment, like you were trying to decide if he was telling the truth, and then nodded slowly, like you were filing information away. 

“Well, thank you,” you said. “You really did save the day.” 

He shrugged again and took his place at the table with you, Ellie and Elise. 

When the meal was over and the dishes were done, he tried to keep to his room but instead found himself drawn away, something inside him tugging him toward the rest of the world. He went to the living room and found you on the couch, your legs tucked alongside yourself as you watched a movie. 

“Leftovers are in the fridge,” you said, barely glancing his way. 

He grunted and acted like he was walking toward the kitchen but, instead, stopped behind the couch, watching the movie, too. 

“What is this?” He asked eventually. 

You glanced over your shoulder at him and then back at the screen. 

“Love, Actually,” you said. “I used to watch it with Anna after Ellie was in bed on Thanksgiving. Have you seen it?” 

“Heard of it,” he said. “Ain’t seen it, though.” 

“It’s these individual stories about all these different kinds of love. I’m only a few minutes in if you want to watch,” you said, looking at him almost hopefully. He was taken aback, silent for a beat too long and you shook your head. “Never mind…” 

“No,” he said quickly. “Just… yeah, I can watch.” 

“Yeah?” You asked, brows raised. 

“Sure,” he shrugged. “Not like I’m going fuckin’ black Friday shopping in the morning.” 

He sat on the opposite end of the massive couch from you but, over time, drifted closer until the two of you were beside each other. Not touching but a sense of familiarity he wasn’t used to anymore hanging over you both. 

“So,” you said when the movie ended, tears clinging to your eyelashes. “What’d you think?” 

“Not bad,” he said. “Not sure it’s my thing but… not bad.” 

You smiled a little at that. 

“I should get to bed though,” he said. 

“Right,” you said, drying your eyes as he got up. “Hey, Joel?” 

“Hm.” 

“Thank you,” you said. “For everything you did today. I’d have fucked it all up without your help and Ellie deserves better and just… thank you.” 

“Sure,” Joel said. “It… it was nice. Best Thanksgiving I’ve had in a while.” 

“Really?” You asked, brows raised. 

He nodded, the truth of that clutching hard at his chest, just how much you and Ellie had come to mean to him in the months he’d been protecting you, this keen vulnerability settling in him at that thought. 

But he’d deal with that later. He wasn’t going to let it ruin shit now. 

“Yeah,” he said. “It was.’

[hesherehesthere]

This is going to be a long post, and probably all over the place, but I've been really fixated on Roy and Nate as parallels and contrasts to one another, and I have a lot of thoughts.

This rant is particularly going to be about the ways in which Nate and Roy's masculinity presents, how both of them are men with severe insecurities that manifest in different ways, as well as the ways in which Nate's jealousy of Roy contributes to his arc.

When I first saw Ted Lasso, I initially interpreted Nate's arc as being a combination of toxic masculinity merging with the fact that Twitter is fucking poison for your brain. I do think that's part of it, but I think there's a lot more to it as well. With that being said, that's as good a place as any to start.

In my mind, Nate is essentially the embodiment of toxic fragile masculinity, where Roy is more representative of (mostly) non-toxic strong masculinity. Roy's insecurities are not particularly focused on his masculinity. He doesn't care about Keeley gossiping about him until he realizes she's been talking about something he's insecure about, and he hangs out with older women and drag queens, without any worries about how that reflects on him as a man. Roy's insecurities revolve much more around the end of his career and not knowing who he is as a person, with a healthy dose of wondering if he's a bad person or fundamentally unlovable. Roy is masculine in a very traditional kind of way. However, he uses that masculinity to help other people (for example, both Sam and Nate in S1), unlike Nate, who, particularly in S2 onward, comes across as less masculine and more bully.

Roy is also more internal and self destructive, while Nate is more external and lashes out at others as a result of his insecurities.

To continue along thought, I think it's important to note that Roy has always been a big defender of Nate. It is made extremely clear that Roy has never been particularly fond of the way that people (notably Jamie, Isaac and Colin) treat Nate in S1, but it goes beyond that. Roy is also shown to consistently go out of his way to acknowledge, congratulate, and give Nate credit for things, even after he's come on as a coach in S2. All throughout S2, there are a number of different moments where Roy will go to Nate to hug or cheer with him, Roy acknowledges Nate with a little head nod when he comes back on as a coach in 2x5, as well as several verbal scenes (Roy going to Nate's office to congratulate him on his park the bus play, Roy telling Rebecca "This has nothing to do with me, this was all Nate", etc).

A bit of an aside, but this also seems like a testament to the fact that Roy isn't big on grudges, because despite all the reasons he should be disgruntled, he's still more than okay with letting Nate come back to Richmond in S3. "I don't give a fuck. He's great at the shit I suck at." Even after all the fallout, Roy is still acknowledging that Nate is smart, someone he would be willing to work with, and a significant asset to the team.

Roy has always been a big Nate defender, so it hurts that Nate doesn't even seem to see it, particularly into S2, when he has been given more power. Obviously, he does acknowledge and thank Roy in 1x4, but after that point he doesn't seem to think about it much. I think that Nate is essentially blinded by his jealousy of Roy, to the point that he is unable to see his true intentions, because he so desperately wants to be him, or at least be like him.

In 2x5, when Nate is at A Taste of Athens, he laughs at something that Roy says during his pundit stint. He laughs at Roy tearing into Cartrick, specifically when he makes a comment about him pissing his pants. However, it's important to note that Roy was so aggressive in that scene in direct response to Cartrick being overtly sexist, which doesn't seem to be something that Nate particularly acknowledges. I don’t think that Nate agrees with Cartrick by any means, but I also don’t know if it really plays into why he thinks that interaction is funny.

Nate definitely feels personally attacked by Roy's coming back as a coach. This is probably due in part to the fact that he comes back after Ted essentially laughs at him and tells him that he doesn't think that he can help Isaac through his mental block, but that he thinks that Roy can. His insecurities are made worse by being next to Roy, as he feels as though he needs to prove himself.

I think this is supported by the fact that Nate also gets a lot more verbally aggressive after Roy's back, though he was making slow progress in that direction anyways. In some ways it almost feels like he's trying to copy Roy, to compete with him and embody him.

Because of this, I also want to briefly mention the scene where Nate kisses Keeley. I think it is implied throughout the show, as early as S1, that Nate has always liked her, at least a little bit. Keeley is casually touchy and affectionate as a person, and Nate could have interpreted those signals as her (possibly) being into him. Though he clearly regrets kissing her, in the leadup to that scene, he also laughs at Keeley's impression of Roy, where she's gently making fun of him. I think that it could have boosted his ego a bit to hear Roy being put down. I think his jealousy could have combined with that ego boost and played into that scene.

Another thing to mention is the fact that Roy is not particularly threatened by Nate kissing Keeley, where he is threatened by Jamie telling Keeley that he loves her.

Nate is upset about that because he thinks that Roy should be more mad at him, because he is a threat damnit, but I also wonder how much of Roy not being threatened is that he also somewhat considers Nate to be a friend. Though I don't think that Roy is threatened by him, I think it's also clear that he does like Nate, and even respects him. (I think there's also something to be said about the fact that Roy is more threatened by Jamie, not because he's more of a man than Nate, but because he and Keeley have a history, but that's a whole other tangent that I won't go on today).

I think that's all I have to say on the topic for now; sorry if this post didn't make any sense, I mostly wrote it out to try and organize my own thoughts. If someone else gets something out of it, that would be a great bonus.

[sugawhaaa]

I've got dom! Soobin brain rot and this

Is not helping, I was wonder if maybe you could write something for me maybe? I was thinking of CEO soobin and now I can't get him out of my head 😫

SOOBIN ONESHOT

After hours

Pairing:boss!dom!soobin x fem!sub!reader

Warnings:smut

Genre: blow job, thigh riding, behind sex (? I know there's a word for it but alas it has escaped me 😭)

A/N::thank you sm for the request! Sorry it took so long to prepare but it's finally here lol

Your relationship with your boss was kind of like friends with benefits. This wasn't because you didn't have feelings for each other but other things were just in the way. So instead when you were "working" late nights that's when you'd have some alone time and some fun. Tonight you were filling out some paperwork when Soobin came over to you, putting his hand on your desk gently. He titled his head to his office with a gentle smile. 

"My office," he said before leading you to his office. You followed him to his office and sat down on the chair on the opposite side of his desk. He sat down and looked up at you in a way that made your tummy twist. He checked up on you to see how you were getting along with your work and I got a little abnormally close to you. "Your hair looks nice today," he commented as you were writing on a sheet of paper on his desk. 

"Oh thank you," you smiled and he flashed a smile back. 

"Did you do anything special to it today?" He smiled as you continued to fill out some things on your sheet. 

"I actually started using a new conditioner," you grinned as you set your pencil down and started running your hands through your hair. Your cheeks grew pink as he stood up and stood next to you. He extended a hand to touch your hair kind of like consent and you nodded. His hands ran through your hair softly. 

"You're so beautiful," he sighed as he looked down at you. "Why don't you let me show you how much I love you?" He said, hinting to you. You stood up and let him sit on the armless chair. He patted his thigh and you sat on it, his hands wrapped around your lower back as he looked up at you with all the love in the world. He gave you a passionate kiss as he rubbed your back. You held his neck and ears for support when kissing him. 

"I want you so bad~" you whispered between kisses.

"I'm right here, love," he said as he stroked your cheek and your hips started subconsciously moving against him. His hands held your hips and he smirked as he pushed your hips directing you to the best spots.

"T-that feels so good," you said before shutting your eyes and gasping in pleasure. Your hands grabbed his shirt harshly. 

"Yes~my good girl~" Soobin smiled as he moved his finger to your chin making him look at you. He kissed you and rubbed your thighs while still guiding your hips. "Wanna take this off love?" He said as he tugged at your dress and you nodded. He unzipped the back of your dress carefully to see some quite fancy undergarments. "Hm what's this? Is this what you wanted all along?" He smirked as he slid the dress off your hot skin. You nodded and he bit your neck gently. "You're so cute," he said between hickies. Small mewls escaped your lips as he marked you up. You felt your high approaching due to all the stimulation of his skin, lips, tongue and most importantly his thigh. Your lips quivered as you felt like you were about to explode. Without a warning you came in your clothes and onto his thigh. 

"I came a little…early," you said a bit embarrassed. 

"It's okay my dear~" he smiled, "may I have a turn now?" He chuckled while undoing his pants. You slid off his lap and finished undoing his pants for him. His dick standing upright in front of you. You slowly ran your hands along his length and watched as his arousal stuck to your fingers. Everytime you grazed over his tip he'd throw his head back and moan softly. Little whispers trotted out of his mouth about how good he felt and how you're his precious, beautiful, girl. "Go faster now," he said between biting his lips and gasping lightly. 

You wrapped your whole hand around him and started to jerk him off. He grinned slightly before sliding his tongue between his lips. After a while of jerking him off and licking his dick he started getting bored. What he really wanted was your lips sealed tightly around him as he moved your head up and down him. Soobin stated this and you immediately did as he asked, sliding his entire length into your mouth, tasting on the sweet yet tingling flavor. 

"Oh my fuck baby~" He threw his head back and rutted his hips up into you. His hands found their way to your hair, gently grabbing it. You started bobbing your head up and down him as he grabbed your hair. "You're so good for me baby~" he grinned as he looked down at you. You clawed at his thighs as you continued to give him a blow job in his office. 

Things were getting messy really quick. You were drooling and cum was laced in your saliva, there was arousal on the floor and black chair. 

He then came in your mouth and after slipping you off his cock he watched you carefully. He gently grabbed your chin and lifted it up to him. "Swallow." He ordered and you shut your eyes and swallowed. A shiver ran down your spin at the viscous liquid oozing down your throat. You coughed lightly afterwards before Soobin stroked your hair back out of your face. "So hot~" he praised before getting you to stand up. You followed his lead without question. "You shouldn't have worn your hair in a ponytail today," he chuckled before bending you over his desk. 

"S-soobin! We can't do this here…" you blushed as he held you down to his desk. He leaned over to your ear. 

"Why not~?" He grinned before backing up and reaching for a nearby drawer. You blushed as you watched him pull out a condom. You stayed on the desk not wanting to disobey him. You heard him open the wrapper and discard it probably somewhere on the floor. He then gently grabbed your hips and you braced yourself in anticipation. You felt his tip brush along your entrance gently before he pushed himself all the way into you and you let out a loud moan. Very loud. Soobin was pleasantly surprised by your response to his actions.

"You're so tight," he groaned as he threw his head back again. He then gently slipped out a bit before going deeper again. He went through this process many times. Moving out by half a centimeter to going as deep as possible again. His little thrusts maintained as he pounded harder and harder into you, slowly pushing you further up his desk. "Your so cute," he grinned before pulling almost all the way out of you and thrusting back in. He went at a very fast pace, the sound of your skin colliding echoed throughout the room. 

You then felt a knot building in your stomach, so low down that it felt like soobin was hitting the knot with his dick himself. 

"F-fuck I-I think I'm close~" you gasped between moans as he continued to mercilessly pound you. You shut your eyes tight as you felt your walls tighten around him but that did not slow soobin in least. He grabbed your hair and pulled it back so he could see your face.

"I want to see you when you cum." He spoke coldly and you felt your eyes water as you released all over him. He didn't slow his pace in the slightest until you came down from your high. He let go of your hair and pulled out of you. He sat you on top of his desk where he proceeded to leave marks all over you and praise you. "You were so cute my love~" he grinned against your skin before kissing you softly. "You must be tired~"

[milo-is-rambling]

I really want to paint something big. I think it would do something. Make me feel something. I want a big canvas project. Like a canvas the same height as me. That would be so expensive but I want it. I don’t even have paper that big I only have regular printer paper and maybe 11 x 17 (printer department flashbacks) ughhhhhhh. What time does five below open. Maybe. No. Ugh fucking stupid baby car (in my head I’m like a sim I’m stomping outside and kicking over the trash can) I hate the baby car. Maybe I could suck it up. If I can go early. It won’t be crazy hot (lying) but I could go to five below and get at least a bigger sketch pad (I know I have so many notebooks and sketchbooks and smaller canvases I’m not using rn that are fine but I want the happy buying things chemicals) I am so tired right now and I took a very large bong rip and now I’m just stream of consciousness typing and it’s ugh yeah my brain is tired and I want to be happy and do something I can pretend is productive but I don’t have any real ideas for art stuff. Well I did have an idea last night for a cardboard thing. Hmmm. And I haven’t done magazine collage in a while I could do that. Hmmmmm. I feel like if i don’t do something productive soon I’m going to explode (taking meds is working. Also three weeks back on meds as of yesterday) maybe I’ll move around my flags and posters today…… hmmm. However my mom did come into my room the other day (hanging out with funk) and randomly look at my wall (she doesn’t normally sit at my desk to look closely at that wall) and she was just like wow there’s a lot of thumbtacks in that wall. So I do feel like maybe moving posters and stuff is not the move. However. I also feel like I desperately need to get out of the patterns I’m stuck in so I want to change my environment instead of myself bc I’m avoiding changing myself always for reasons I’m not even sure of. Lie. Putting in effort scares me. Knowing i could put work into being a person and still crumble again and lose it all is terrifying and it feels like every time something goes well something else comes crashing down and I can never have everything going well at once. That’s why. But that’s also an excuse to not change my shitty behavior bc it’s hard and I’m lazy. But is that the mean voice in my head or is that the truth. Am I lazy or have I been depressed for so long I don’t know how to be happy. I was thinking about natural selection yesterday while I was swimming. (Water motif) (I laughed when I thought it so I had to add it) anyways. Natural selection. I was just thinking like. My brain is fucked. If you put my brain into any other body in any other place in any other situation they would still be depressed. I have a chemical imbalance like it’s just fucked to begin with. So then you have to be like okay so if I don’t go on meds. I can’t do anything. I’m literally like. I just rot away and do nothing when I’m depressed. But when I was like 11/12 the depression hit hard as fuck and I don’t remember when I got put on meds the first time but I think I was 14 or 15. Well. Wait. I did take a liquid dose of an antipsychotic when I was 13 because I couldn’t take pills (still hate taking pills). I forgot about that until just this moment. That was a ROUGH time in my life. And I just. Fully forgot about it. Okay. Ignoring that it’s been like six years since I first started seeing a therapist oh my god seven years since ***** i don’t even want to have a tag for him lol ignoring it !!!! Ignoring it !!!! Ignoring it !!! Not thinking about it !!! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 ignoring it. Okay. I forgot what my point was. I think my point was I should’ve been dead years ago if meds didn’t exist and yet I still have this cycle of taking them taking them then not taking them and now I’m on a taking them cycle but like what is wrong with me !!! Oh yeah the chemical imbalance and then add some traumatic shit too !! Ughhhh!!!! BRAINS ARE SO LOUD. I want to sleep.

[domithanasia]

ok. ok. i was at work for nine hours without a break today but this will fix me. mitski lyrics are in green, iwtv lines are in purple.

liquid smooth-kinda works as an antithesis to claudia’s existence. the whole song is mitski lamenting the fact that her youthful beauty will soon begin to wither. but claudia is stuck in her pubescent body forever, which i think is far more horrifying. “how i feel this river rushing through my veins/with nowhere else to go it circles ‘round” and “who am i supposed to love?” and “locked in the emotional storm of puberty,” this really reminds me of season one claudia, after charlie, when she’s beginning to realize there is no one on earth like her, and no one she can really share her love with. the desperation in the lyrics and claudia’s attempts to make her own companion are tonally similar.

wife-reminds me mostly of Louis, but there's a bit of Claudia there too. "for if I am not yours, what am I?" and "if there was no him, and there was no me, who would you be?" and also: "so let me go towards the morning star/with hope it won't disappear," and "I teased the sun that night in Jackson square" and "I walked out into the sun." it's unclear if "the morning star" refers to the sun but I think it's safe to say so. the more obvious comparison is claudia comparing Louis to a housewife. I feel like there are a lot of ways--through both language/dialogue and cinematic framing--that Louis is aligned as the wife/mother in their family dynamic. as well as Louis expressing he wanted a family and he felt that was something he was robbed of once he became lestat's companion. "i''m never gonna have a family of my own, am I? no sons, no daughters." if you analyze this song with the ldpdl lense, its Louis mourning his perceived dependence on his husband, as well as grieving his daughter(my light my Claudia my redemption) and wishing he could be with her, even if it means his own end. in terms of how this song relates more directly to claudia--there's a scene in S1 E6 where she wonders where she'd be if she had lived through the fire as a human. "maybe i'd have a handsome husband, some children of my own." she's understandably angry that Louis robbed her of human love, a human family, and then chose lestat over her again and again.

abbey-so Claudia coded it's insane. "I am hungry/I have been hungry/I was born hungry/what do I need?" and "you got some of your own I can have?" and "hungry? you just ate a man twice your size!" as well as "I was born waiting for that something/just one something," claudia's "just one something" being Madeleine, her immortal companion, the "one thing i get to choose for myself." this whole song is just. aughh. like an ode to claudia's desperate want for genuine, no-strings-attached, love and companionship, her want for freedom, her want for a light in the darkness. "there is a light, I feel it in me/but only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me" and "one dark thing after the next" and "even in between the happy times, there's something broken in me." ALSO!! "there is a dream and it sleeps in me" and "she could dream. thank you."

brand new city-specifically reminds me of the physical trauma Louis has been put through by others/puts himself through. "I think my brain is rotting in places" → "please, help me! I am weak! I wanna die!", "I think my heart is ready to die" → "but I loved Claudia with all my heart, and I loved lestat with a wounded one," "I think my body is falling in pieces" → "a few shattered vertebrae, a punctured lung...blind in one eye for five weeks," "I think my blood is passing me by" → "I gagged myself, tried to throw the blood back up." the one repeating line of the song; "honey, what'd you take, what'd you take? honey, look at me, tell me what you took, what'd you take?" and how, as an attempt to distract himself from his grief, he starts draining young men of their drug-filled blood after having sex with them, and armand just has to witness him doing this. "one hundred and twenty eight boys he's brought back here, consummated and drained."

eric-this is genuinely one of the most subtly disturbing songs i've listened to(I think because of the soundscape mitski creates in the background? you have all of these unsettling scraping sounds, what sounds like a door slamming shut, a belt being undone, etc), honestly pretty much all of the lyrics make me think of multiple of the dynamics we see and I feel like it would be too much if I listed all of them, but a few favorites are: "you like control, well I do too," as to how it relates to armand and louis' relationship. Louis being the more dominant one on the surface ("clothes off, face down in the coffin") but if you actually look under the surface armand clearly has more tangible power in the relationship. armand simultaneously indulges Louis by letting him believe through their sexual dynamic that he has a modicum of power over armand, while reminding Louis that he holds his and claudia's safety in his grasp. the lyrics "this view of you, of the top of your head/makes me forgive you/but how long, how long can we play this way?/ I'm tired, I'm tired of not loving you" bring to mind the brief sex scene between lestat and Louis we get in S1 E6, in which Louis is clearly dissociating, and refers to himself as "a vessel of acceptance, of tortured rationalization." "my heart wants to hold you/but I know the rules" → "you share a heart with him. you're alone with him for an hour and your hearts are beating in sync." "the white of your teeth/as you smile at my trembling shoulders," I think runs parallel to the more obvious examples of sexual violence which are referenced in the show, i.e., claudia with Bruce, and armand with marius.

bag of bones-tbqh, this song doesn't really remind me of any characters/dynamics in particular(which is the case with the last few of these songs). all i'll say is that this is kinda both danlou/devil's minion if it had actually happened in the seventies.

door-i'm not gonna lie, I almost always skip this song when it comes up--the lyrics are actually pretty compelling, it just doesn't sound that good to me. but! this song reminds me of two very specific scenes. the first verse, the scene in episode six(again), in which Louis is sitting on the park bench, watching Claudia walk away to the train station, considering suicide. "I looked out at the dark and wondered, how could I have lost it?" the second verse reminds me of the scene in season two where Louis makes his way to the cruising park in Paris and sees dreamstat. "then, one night at the park, I saw it...a hopeless violence/I named it love." → "kill me again. kill me again! show me the only way you know how to love."

pearl diver-this song is a favorite of mine, and reminds me of how, for Louis, actually being with lestat and admitting that he wanted lestat romantically and sexually was so difficult for him because of all of the shame intrinsic to his identity given the time period and his religious upbringing. "those creatures of your woken mind/don't fear them or their hunger" → "and as for the latencies within me, well, I beat those back with a lie I told myself about myself" and lestat at the trial saying: "how did you not know it was your own voice? speaking your own...unspeakable desires."

real men-i honestly don't think there's any analysis of this song that wasn't already covered by @amvguy's ldpdl real men amv. just go watch it. please. it's so fucking good. (something that did pop into my mind is this lyric/dialogue parallel though: "so little boy say you want me" → "he looked like a boy masquerading as a man" vis a vis both armand and lestat being Louis' "little boys." sickening!)

if i try hard enough i can connect every song on mitski’s 2012 album lush to iwtv

[jinkoh]

Royal Blues

Hongseok x Reader

Tags: Royal AU, gender-neutral reader, meet-cute/first meeting

SFW, Warnings: none, word count: 2,1k

Masterlist

summary: you make an unexpected acquaintance while working at a high-class event. But you had no idea just who he is..

a/n: My bestie and me were having Pentagon Royal AU brain rot and so I just ended up writing the first meeting between Hongseok and y/n. I'll probably write a continuation of sorts for this and I also have ideas and head canons for some of the other members ^-^ I hope you'll enjoy this<3

I don’t have to love my job; you told yourself as you pushed the food cart with empty trays and champagne glasses from the event hall back to the kitchen. It just has to pay my rent.

Yet, a part of you wished you could be one of these lucky people that find self-fulfillment in the work they do. What a luxurious thought, getting paid for something you’re passionate about.

You yourself were a little less fortunate, spending the last few months desperately searching for a job. At first you’d been a little more picky, trying to find a something you had real interest in and could imagine pursuing long-term. But as time went on and your unpaid bills kept increasing, you’d had to scale down your expectations.

So, this job was a lucky find, you try to convince yourself. Sure, your boss was incredibly strict, and you knew the tiniest mistake would have you fired. But the pay was decent enough to slowly get your bank account out of the reds.

The catering service you worked for got mostly booked for high class events with high profile guests from politics and the business world. You weren’t too knowledgeable about these things, so you hadn’t ever recognized any of the guests as famous people, but one of your co-workers had been gushing to you about how she’d served champagne for some important politician. You’d been excited for her, but in all honesty you preferred to work behind the scenes – like today, being responsible for bringing refills of champagne and appetizers to the entrance of the hall, where the waiters would pick up the trays and distribute the snacks and drinks to the guests.

You reached the kitchen, the empty dishes making a rattling noise as you pushed the cart over the threshold.

One of the kitchen staffs immediately took over, roughly waving their hand towards another cart that was already waiting for you, filled to the brink with hors d’oeuvres, neatly arranged on silver trays, one bite probably worth more than your left kidney.

You nodded and immediately made your way back towards the hall with the refills, barely suppressing a sigh. The monotonous work made you tired and you just hoped it would be over soon. The dress code didn’t allow you to wear a wristwatch, and there wasn’t a clock in the hallway either, so you weren’t sure how long you still had to go. It just has to pay my rent.

Just when you were about halfway to the event hall, one of the carts tires got stuck. To your demise – maybe the tiredness had made you inattentive – you didn’t notice until it was too late. You kept pushing which made the cart lose balance, and suddenly the cart was tumbling over. What used to be fancy hors d’oeuvres was now a colorful mess, painting a tragic picture on the floor.

You stared at the scene in front of you, unwilling to believe that this had really just happened.

If your boss saw this, you’d be back to job hunting, you knew that all too well.

Maybe, you thought, maybe I can somehow cover this up. You made a plan to discretely throw away the remains of the food in staff bathroom and just bring back the empty trays pretending they came from the hall. You could do this, it would be fine!

But just when you crouched down to clean up the mess, you heard someone clear his throat behind you.

Your head snapped around, your gaze landing on a well clad man standing on the staircase. It didn’t take you more than a second to realize that he must’ve been one of the guests – the suit and the wristwatch way too expensive to belong to any of the staff.

This is it, a small voice in your head whispered. You know how these rich people are. He’ll have you fired; you’ll lose your job.

In your head you were already packing up your boxes to move back in with your mom. There was no way you’d get out of this anymore.

Except, the man in front of you seemed to have different ideas.

“You need help with that?” He stepped closer, a small smile on his lips.

“W-what?”

“You need help cleaning that up?” Without waiting for your reply, his hand was already reaching for the handle of the cart, hoisting it back up as if it weighed nothing.

“No- no! You can’t, oh god, I’m so sorry!”

The man stared at you for a moment, looking almost a little confused with his big doe eyes and small pout on his lips. “What are you sorry for?”

You swallowed, your mouth suddenly feeling incredibly dry. “Y-you’ll get your hands dirty.”

He broke into a smile. “Is that so? I don’t mind.” With a smooth motion he crouched down next to you and started picking up some of the scattered appetizers, gathering them on one of the now empty trays.

It seemed futile to try and stop him any further, so instead you finally started cleaning up as well. Honestly, it was a little suffocating. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to say something or not, so you just stayed quiet and worked alongside him.

“You know,” he suddenly said into the silence, “I really like cooking. So touching food is no big deal. Though, usually it’s not laying on the floor.” He chuckled. “It’s a bit sad that all of this is wasted now.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I think you’ve apologized enough now.”

The two of you fell back into your quiet working rhythm, him picking up the last few bits of food while you gathered the scattered silver trays. The only sounds surrounding you was the clattering of the trays and the faint  music and chatter coming from the event hall.

Until he decided to break the silence once more. “Do you like cooking?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t?”

“No, no, I love cooking, actually,” you answered truthfully. “I like trying out new recipes and tweaking them until they’re perfect. It’s fun to experiment a little, see which ingredients can be replaced or…” You trailed off with an awkward chuckle, realizing your words had started to wander.

When you glanced over to him, his eyes were already trained on you, his hands momentarily pausing to pay attention to your words.

You pushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, avoiding his gaze. “Sorry for rambling, I just get a little too excited when it comes to cooking…”

“No, not at all, you’re right, it’s fun!” He sounded happy over the newfound similarity between the two of you. “I also pay a lot of attention to the ingredients I use, like, making sure the meals are healthy and nicely balanced… Ah, but I do like pastries too. I try not to eat them too often but from time to time it’s a must!”

A weird fluttery feeling started to spread in your stomach. Cute. “What are your favorites?”

“Hmmm, it’s simple, but I like cookies.” He laughed, small endearing crinkles forming around his eyes. “Egg tarts too. I’ve tried some in Lisbon before, they were really good.”

Lisbon, you thought, the difference between the two of you really sinking in. You, living from paycheck to paycheck, barely getting by, and him, eating egg tarts in Portugal.

“Sounds nice.” You smiled politely, getting up and setting the empty silverware back onto the food cart.

“Yeah,” he stood back up as well, handing you the tray with the food waste, so you could set it onto the cart as well. “You should try them sometime.”

“If I get the chance.” Surely not in this life.

You noticed he looked a little lost, gazing at his hands and then searching your surroundings with his eyes. It took you a second to realize. Of course, his hands. He couldn’t go back in there with his fingers greasy and wet from the food.

“Sorry, I should have noticed earlier,” you said hastily, wiping your own hands on the black apron around your waist. “I’ll get you a tissue, just a second!”

Before he could say anything you scurried off to the kitchen, snatching a fresh dishcloth from the cupboard and making your way back. As you hurried down the hallway, you realized that he probably wouldn’t wait, would he? It didn’t seem to make a lot of sense for you to get him a towel from the kitchen; he could just go to the washrooms instead, before heading back to the event.

You sighed, your steps slowing down a little.

When you turned around the corner though, he was still standing there, fidgeting with his hands that were awkwardly raised in front of his chest in order not to dirty his suit.

A smile crept onto your lips. “Sorry for the wait!” You bowed slightly, before offering him the towel that he took with a smile.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you, you really didn’t have to, you know,” you made a vague gesture towards the floor, where just minutes ago a bunch of hors d’oeuvres had been scattered.

“It was really fun actually,” he smiled softly as he wiped his fingers clean. “It’s not often I get to talk with someone who shares the same passion with me.”

“Yeah, I had fun too.”

“Hongseok, by the way.”

“Huh?”

“My name, it’s Yang Hongseok. And yours?”

“Y/n.”

“Y/n. I like that, it’s pretty.” Hongseok smiled. “I’m afraid I’ll have to go back in there,” he nodded towards the door. “But maybe we’ll get to cook together sometime. I’d love to try one of your recipes.”

A furious blush spread over your cheeks all the way up to the tips of your ears. Before you could say anything in return though, the sound of heels clacking against the tiles interrupted your thoughts.

You didn’t have to turn around to know, who these steps belonged to. The intimidating sound of your superior’s stride had long been engraved into your memory.

Trying to steel your nerves, you took a deep breath. Hongseok seemed to notice your sudden change in behavior because he eyed you with a worried expression.

“Y/n! What happened here?!” Your superiors voice echoed through the hallway as she took the last steps towards you.

You didn’t dare to look at her, too scared for the anger that would show on her face. You bowed and apologized, keeping your eyes on the tips of your shoes.

“Do you have any idea how much work went into these appetizers? How many time and effort was invested to make them perfect?!” She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

Only then she seemed to notice Hongseok standing next to you. Upon seeing him, her demeanor changed drastically.

“Oh, my, I’m so sorry.” She hastily bowed, gesturing for you to do the same. “My deepest apologies, your highness, that you had to witness this incompetence.”

Your highness? Who the heck was he?

“No, not at all, there’s no need for apologies.”

“I’ll make sure this is the last time something like this happens and of course our employee will be handled accordingly.”

You swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump that was building in your throat. Handled accordingly. You’d get fired.

“I think you misunderstood the situation, madam.”

Confused, you lifted your gaze to look at him, unsure what he was going to say.

“It’s my fault, actually,” he continued. “I was so lost in thought when I came down the stairs, I just ran right into the cart.” Hongseok chuckled bashfully. “It’s only thanks to her quick reflexes, that my suit didn’t get ruined in the incident. A truly magnificent employee, you have there.”

When his eyes met yours, he winked at you, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Why was he lying for you?

“Is that so…” Your boss didn’t seem convinced, but it’s not like she could say anything if he was insisting this was what happened.

“Honestly, if anything, I’d like to express my gratitude and I hope dearly, that your employee won’t have to face the consequences of my clumsiness.”

“Of course, your highness, as you wish.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m afraid I’ll have to go back inside.”

You bowed again as you watched him walk towards the doors. As soon as he was out of ear shot, your superior turned to you, her fore finger lifted.

“Very thin ice, y/n, very thin ice.”

But you barely registered her threatening words, your eyes following Hongseok’s broad back until he disappeared in the event hall.

Just who was he? And why would he go out of his way to help you?

Masterlist

[insomniacrobyn]

Title: Stuck with me

Pairing: Zhongli x Reader

Reader: Gender neutral

A/N: i didn’t proof read this so. I started writing this earlier and I have finally finished it. Does it make sense? Hopefully. Any way enjoy my brain rot because I will be writing for Genshin content over the weekend hopefully.

It was a clear day in Liyue. It was the first good day in about a week. It was a nice break from the constant downpour. It was the perfect weather for commissions. (Y/N) walked up the familiar steps to the Liyue branch of the adventures guild. They greeted Lan who stood next to the notice board as they walked up to the counter. (Y/N) collected the four commissions which ranged from dealing with hilicurals to a ruin guard by Lingju Pass. These commissions weren’t new to them. They had done many commissions similar to these ones in the past. With a bit of pep to their step. (Y/N) crossed the bridge north of Liyue harbour.

(Y/N) breezed through the first three commissions. The only trouble was the final commission, where they had to deal with a ruin guard. They were exhausted from dealing with clearing two hilicural camps and defeating an abyss mage. The sun wasn’t helping either. The constant heat on their back made them uncomfortable and tired. Normally, (Y/N) would be able to defeat a ruin guard no problem giving it very little time to attack. However, this time it was getting attacks without much resistance from (Y/N).

The ruin guard had managed to corner them. It kept bringing its metal arms down on (Y/N)’s weapon. The sound of metal scraping and clunking overpowering the sounds of birds. (Y/N) knew that the only way out was to fight back if they wanted to get back to the harbour in one piece.

Zhongli had finished his work for the day in Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and was walking through the harbour. His amber eyes taking in all the people who were out and about. The soundtrack of the harbour being merchants calling out for people to come to their stall, and customers haggling in hopes of getting the product cheaper. However, Zhongli was focused on spotting one person in particular. His eyes scanned the crowd for the familiar form of his lover.

They had left before the birds had even started singing and when merchants were setting up for the busy day. Zhongli had woken up to their side of the bed empty and a note outlined why they weren’t there. This left Zhongli to go through his morning routine alone. The house felt empty to Zhongli. He was so used to their form next to him as he made tea and they made breakfast.

Zhongli returned home after walking around the city. He sat by the wide at the front of the house watching the people go by as he waited. He watched as the sky turned from a bright blue to a golden orange. He knew they could handle themselves but his nerves started to get him as he began to worry about his lover. They should be back by now, sitting across from him telling him about his day.

He eventually gave up on waiting and decided to head to the adventures guild to see what commissions they were given. He grabbed his polearm and briskly walked to the guild. Katheryne summarized what the commissions were and watched as Zhongli left the city.

He checked the first three locations and quickly checked to see if he could see them. He finally made his way to Lingju Pass. He looked over to the arch way next to the collapsed tower as that was noted as the area the ruin guard was. He looked down from the waypoint hoping to see if he could spot (Y/N).

He could see the ruin guard in question wandering around. Zhongli quickly made his way towards his polearm clutched in his hand. He noted the blood on the ruin guards arm. When Zhongli saw that his blood ran cold. Memories of all the friends he has lost over the thousand of years crossing his mind in a flurry of images.

He wasted no time and defeated the ruin guard with no mercy. Once the ruin guard disappeared, Zhongli started to search the area. Calling out (Y/N)‘a name as he looked.

He walked past an area of tall grass and barely noticed the person laying on the ground. Zhongli stopped and scanned the body. Dread flooded Zhongli’s senses as he knelt down beside them.

“(Y/N)” he whispered, his hand cupping their cheek as his amber eyes scanned their face. Zhongli examined their chest. He left out a sigh of relief as he saw their chest rise and fall slowly. “Please be okay.” Zhongli prayed as he quickly began making his way back to the harbour.

He rushed home once he entered the city. He paid no mind to the people that stared at the normally composed man as he rushed past with his lover in his arms.

Childe had spotted them. He sighed at the sight, he wasn’t used to seeing Zhongli in such a state. He knew he couldn’t do much to put the man's mind at ease so instead opted to get medical supplies from Bubu pharmacy and place them at his front door.

Zhongli discarded his coat and rolled up his sleeves after placing (Y/N) on the sofa. He took off their top to get easier to the deep gashes he saw that ran down their abdomen. He began to clean the wound with water and then cleaned it with rubbing alcohol. Their face scrunched up in pain. “I’m sorry love.” Zhongli whispered as he dressed the wound and started to work on the other ones.

By the time Zhongli had treated every wound he saw it was late into the night. He was sitting on the floor next to them. He had answered the door when Childe was dropping off the supplies. They were sitting on the table by the front door. Zhongli was holding one of their hands his gloves discarded. He rubbed soothing circles into the back of their hand. His mind was reeling with the worst case scenarios.

He brought their hand up to his lips as he got up from his spot. He headed to the kitchen to make some tea, unaware of the movement on the couch.

“Zhongli?” A voice called out. He spun on his heel making his way back to the sofa, the water still boiling on the stove. He kneeled in front of them his hand quickly grabbing theirs.

“My love, how do you feel? Are you hurting anywhere?” Zhongli quizzed as he cupped their cheek. “No I’m okay. How did I get back home though?” (Y/N) asked, their eyes darting around the room and landing on their weapon and bag which was tucked away in the corner of the room. It looked out of place there. Normally that kind of material was kept in the cupboard in the hall out of the way.

“I brought you home. I became quite concerned when you hadn’t returned home by dusk.” Zhongli answered, his amber eyes studying their face as their brow furrowed.

“Oh.”

“My love, please bring me next time you have to fight a ruin guard. You could have died if I hadn’t arrived.”

Zhongli watched their reaction quietly taking in the way their eyes darted to his at the end. He got up from his spot and motioned for them to wait there. He finished making the tea and came back with two cups and the teapot.

“Here. You must be thirsty after all the heat today would have made any dehydrated.” Zhongli hummed as he placed the delicate teacup in their hand after helping them to sit up. (Y/N) took it graciously as they sipped on the drink.

The couple sat in silence as (Y/N) rested their head on Zhongli’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I worried you.” (Y/N) announced breaking the silence that encased the room. Zhongli glanced at them from the corner of his eye.

“I’m happy that you are safe (Y/N). I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you.” He replied staring out the window.

“Well, I’m afraid to tell you you are stuck with me for another while.” (Y/N) joked.

“I don’t think I would mind that at all. I quite enjoy your company.” Zhongli smiled. They laughed and gave Zhongli a kiss on the cheek.

“I think love that I deserve more than that especially after the worry you gave me.” Zhongli teased as he leaned towards the kiss them. (Y/N) just smiled closing the gap with a sweet kiss.

“I suppose you do.” They teased back as they leaned against his shoulder. Zhongli’s hand now wrapped around their waist protectively. He hummed and placed a kiss on the crown of their head. Then resting his cheek on their head as he let his eyes close.

The bliss of the moment reminded Zhongli why he gave up his gnosis. If he hadn’t he would more than likely not be able to enjoy the comfort he felt at this moment, knowing his lover was returned to him. Injured but by his side where he could watch them and keep them out of harms way.

[zevlors-tail]

A/N: This was an emergency request from forever ago, and I’m SO SORRY it took so long to finish! Tumblr also deleted the original ask, so I don’t have it anymore, but it was for a poly tododeku x chubby reader who gained weight during quarantine. I hope this was what you wanted, and again, I’m so sorry it took so long! I also don’t have a title for this RIP.

Pairing: Poly TodoDeku x Chubby Reader

Words: 4k

Warnings: Insecurities about weight gain, weight gain, cursing, reader weighing themselves with a scale if that’s a trigger for you.

You yawned as you stretched, your eyelids still heavy with sleep. It was currently nine in the morning and both of your partners had already snuck out of bed to go to work for the day. You envied them a little, seeing as they got to leave the house often while you were cooped up inside all of the time no thanks to quarantine. Of course, you still worried for their health- although most hero agencies were taking preventative measures during the ongoing pandemic, there was still the chance that one (or god forbid, both) of them could come into contact with the very virus that quarantine sought to combat. You tried not to think about that idea too much, instead focusing on a smaller annoyance: the fact that your job wasn’t deemed essential enough to stay open during this time.

Sure, you were working from home, but the way things were now there was hardly anything for you to do anyways, and most nights you were finished with your tasks early. This gave you plenty of free time, which in reality would have been much more enjoyable if you were able to actually leave the house, but no. You were stuck at home instead, boredom and restlessness rotting your brain of anything useful. You’d done everything you could think of to occupy yourself; you cleaned your kitchen, washed your clothes, folded all the laundry. Hell, you even started dusting the mantle in the living room for god’s sake. But you could only clean so much, and even with two of Japan’s top pro heroes tracking in dirt and grime each night from work, the house was usually spotless by 5pm. The only things you had left to occupy yourself at that point were video games, movies, and food.

Oh…and of course, overthinking.

Perhaps that was how you’d ended up where you were now, your legs carrying you out of bed and to the bathroom mirror to see if your current suspicions were true. About a month ago, you had noticed that one of your favorite shirts (newly found and washed, since you’d finally made it through all that pesky laundry) wasn’t fitting quite right. You didn’t think much of it at the time, passing it off as drying it for a bit too long or using too high of a heat setting. But a week later, you had the same problem occur with a pair of newer pants, and suddenly you felt self conscious. You tried to to push the feeling to the back of your mind, to stay positive and not worry about it, but it was always there. No matter how much you smiled, no matter how many times you told yourself it didn’t matter, the last thing on your mind every night was the fearful thought that you might have gained weight recently.

You’d never been slim; you had been curvy for as long as you could remember, but even from a young age you learned to be confident in yourself and your body. You always had a strong sense of self, always told yourself that your weight did not equal your worth. You knew better, and it showed. People looked up to you and admired you for that. You never cared how much you weighed; you just let your bubbly personality shine through like a midsummer’s day ray of sun. You practically glowed when you were with your friends, the sparkly smile on your face never once faltering as you laughed with them and helped them pick out new outfits they liked during mall outings. So…why should now be any different?

As you stared at yourself in the mirror, you felt anxiety start to creep up your spine, winding tightly around your throat like a constricting snake before pooling in your stomach, as heavy as a stone. Your lungs tightened and you hardly felt like you were getting any air as you looked yourself over. It was hard to tell just from your reflection…but it did seem like you had gained weight. Well, there was only one way to know for sure.

Your eyes caught the gleam of the metal scale in the corner of the room, the square shaped object intimidating you just by lying there on the floor. It was a perfectly normal thing to keep on hand in a perfectly normal household, even more so when you were in a relationship with two pro heroes who worked out and kept track of their weight on a weekly basis. Regardless, nothing about using the scale felt normal to you. You only weighed yourself at the doctor’s office, and that was it. But you wanted to know- no, you had to. It was bothering you too much not to.

Everything about this felt foreign to you. The way the scale came to life suddenly as you stepped on it, the way it took it’s time to recalibrate as you stepped back off, and the way it set itself to “zero” when it finally booted up...all of it. It felt odd when you finally pressed all of your weight to it, awkwardly waiting for the flashing numbers on the tiny digital screen to settle. And when they did, you couldn’t help but frown. You remembered a ballpark number from your last doctor’s visit, and you were nowhere near that number anymore.

You had definitely gained weight since quarantine started.

Not wanting to stand there any longer than necessary, you hopped off the scale holding back tears and tossed your clothes to the floor, opting for a shower. That would make you feel better, and then maybe you would just forget about it. You weren’t going to let this bring you down. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Lunch gave you more anxiety later on and only served as a reminder about your weight gain. But you ate anyways, because you were hungry and you knew you deserved to regardless of your weight. Still, the anxious feelings remained for the rest of the night. You only forgot about it when Izuku and Shouto returned from work minutes apart from each other, their smiles and hugs effectively chasing away any self doubts or worries that you harbored. After all, it was hard to feel anxious when you were wrapped up in a giant group hug, kisses and “I missed you’s!” being given and received all at once. The night ended on a good note, and in the end you fell asleep feeling safe and secure while nestled in between the two most beloved people in your life.

Morning came too soon, and with it, the familiar sensation of dread that you were trying not to grow accustomed to at this point, especially after yesterday. Today’s a new day, you told yourself. I can do this. You noticed that both men were once again up and at ‘em, already at work by the time you woke which left you alone in the spacious bed to your own devices. You, however, happened to have the day off, so you made a beeline for the kitchen to get breakfast before reclining on the couch, T.V. turned on for background noise while you surfed the web on your laptop. After you were finished eating, you cleaned up your dishes and took out the trash, and it was only as you were headed to the bathroom to shower afterwards that you caught sight of the sticky note on the mirror. It was in Shouto’s handwriting, short and sweet and to the point all at the same time.

Half day at work today. Be back at noon. Love you both. Shouto.

Upon closer inspection there was more writing underneath that, a little messier but still legible with a shaded in little heart drawn underneath it all.

Late shift tonight, don’t wait up for me. -Izuku <3

You smiled at the note before taking a seat on the edge of your bathtub to turn on the shower. You felt a bit of reprieve from your heavy feelings, but it was short lived as a sporadic thought crossed your mind in an attempt to seemingly ruin the rest of your day. You weren’t sure where it came from or why it was there, only that it was taking up space in your mind, and you couldn’t help yourself as you glanced to the corner of the room where the scale was supposed to be. Even though you already knew what numbers it was going to display, that didn’t stop you from wandering over and weighing yourself once more. Or, you would have, if the scale had been there. Oddly enough, it seemed to be missing. You looked around the floor for it feeling silly- all of this just to weight yourself even when you knew the outcome already? But you continued looking for it anyway. Just to make sure, you told yourself.

You found it in the cupboard under the sink, pushed all the way back to the right corner of the bottom shelf where it would be hard to spot. You didn’t think to question how it got there or who might have put it there. The only thing on your mind was confirming the digital numbers you’d discovered yesterday, so that was exactly what you did. You laid the scale on the floor before weighing yourself, and you felt…disappointed. Seeing the numbers on the screen spelled it out clearly for you, and suddenly you were spiraling again, worry settling deep into your soul as everything started to really sink in. What if other people could tell that you gained weight? What if they were judging you for it? What would they say? What would the boys think? Oh god, your boyfriends. Could they see it too? Did they pity you so much that they kept it to themselves but knew the whole time? And if they did know…how did they think about you now? Did they think you were disgusting? Did they still love you? Maybe they knew but didn’t say anything because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings?

Your thoughts spiraled out of control as you stripped down, clothes haphazardly landing wherever you tossed them. You practically entered the shower like a zombie, the boiling hot water doing little to calm your mind and ease the worries eating away at you. By the time you had lathered your hair in conditioner and started on body wash while the former was setting in, you’d been in the shower for quite some time, at least for a half hour, and the sound of the front door opening and shutting did nothing to phase you as you rinsed off the suds. Shouto’s muffled voice carried down the hallway and into the bathroom where you were as he kicked off his shoes at the front door.

“I’m home!”

It didn’t take you long to finish up after that, and soon you were drying the water off with your favorite fluffy towel and getting dressed in an old pair of comfort clothes. Since there was no need to pretend to act professional today, why not dress comfortably instead? You weren’t feeling very high maintenance today anyways.

“Hey babe.” There was a knock on the bathroom door just as you were finishing up getting dressed and tugging your shirt over your chest. You reached out a foot to swing the door open since both your hands were full, and Shouto peered in to greet you with a kiss to the cheek before nuzzling his face into yours. But you were too anxious and preoccupied to do anything other than let him love on you as hot steam filtered out through the now open door. “What would you like for dinner tonight?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “Hm, not sure. I don’t feel like making any decisions at the moment, so whatever you want is probably fine.” You finally toweled off your hair before fixing it up the way you wanted, then exited the bathroom with your partner in tow. You missed the way his gaze flitted to the corner briefly before he followed you out into the hallway.

“Are you sure?” he asked you, head tilting to the side in question.

“Yep, go ahead and pick. I don’t care either way.”

Something in your tone made him stand back for bit and watch with crossed arms as you wandered around the house with seemingly no objective. You weren’t really sure what you were doing; you didn’t really have the energy to be your happy go lucky self like usual, and so you hardly could pay attention to Shouto and shower him with your love like you normally did when he came home from work. Not to mention, you already had breakfast and watched TV, so now you just weren’t sure what to do. You felt like you were just going through the motions, in a daze like a zombie who couldn’t focus. Maybe that’s why you didn’t notice him come up behind you and place a hand on your shoulder, effectively scaring you out of your trance while you stood aimlessly by the couch.

“Are you alright? You seem a little off today.” He gently pulled you down to the couch with him, arms open for you to lay in while you cuddled up to his warm side.

“Huh? Oh, yeah! I’m just thinking a lot, sorry. Did you figure out what you wanted for dinner?”

Snap out of it, Y/N.

He gave you a skeptical look but said nothing more, letting the subject drop at that. “Well, I was thinking maybe we could order some take out and watch a movie at home. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to spend some one on one time with you. I missed you. And Izuku too…”

“I missed you too.” You let him envelope you in a tight hug, some of the stress and fogginess melting away immediately. You were thankful he only had a half day today; it was entirely possible that you might have just sat at home on the couch all day zoning out until one of the boys came home. “Oh,” you added as an afterthought, “make sure you click no contact delivery and tip well. I know you do already, but it’s especially important now.”

A small smile formed as he kissed the top of your head. “Anyone who’s willing to bring food to my love is going to get tipped extremely well. And if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic, I would tell them thank you in person for providing for my sweet.”

“And if they aren’t willing to deliver?” you challenged.

“Then I would still tip them and say thank you, because they make their living off of that. Life is hard enough without me adding even more stress to their day, isn’t it?”

“You’re a kind person, Shouto. I love you.”

The rest of the night passed by fast, food arriving earlier than you thought it would and Shouto picking one of your favorite movies to watch as the two of you snuggled up under a comfy blanket on the couch. You fell asleep on his chest, his heartbeat lulling you off while you pressed your cheek into the crook of his neck for warmth. It was easy to feel relaxed and comfortable like that, his arms wrapped around you creating a sense of security and safety that you adored.

You were a bit confused when you woke up in bed instead of on the couch the next morning. The last thing you remembered had been the steady rise and fall of your lover’s chest; taking in your surroundings, you realized you were now laying against your usual pillow and just about swaddled in the covers. Whoever had moved you last night had taken care to make sure you were comfortable and cozy while you slept.

“Mornin, sleepyhead,” someone murmured behind you. A hand found itself against your stomach, fingers splayed to lovingly rub against your midriff as Izuku curled around you from behind. You pressed up against him for warmth before turning to face him, and when your eyes met you could see the weariness from his night shift reflected in his gaze. The word exhausted was practically written across his forehead.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“A couple hours. Work was…tiring.”

You absentmindedly brought a hand to his face, your thumb stroking over his cheek before you ruffled his hair affectionately. He let out a heavy sigh as you doted on him, eyes closing in bliss. “You okay?”

He seemed to enjoy your touch for a moment longer before reaching up to take your hand in his much larger one, eyes fluttering back open as he pressed a kiss to your open palm and made a soft noise of content. “Mm, I’m more worried about you.”

Normally his actions would leave butterflies in your stomach and make your heart beat a little bit faster. Normally, you would appreciate the concern. But you would be lying if you said you weren’t confused- What was there to be worried about? It wasn’t like anything was obviously wrong; the three of you had been doing well recently with no major arguments and no qualms with each other or your living situation. The biggest problem you had was getting the boys to pick up after themselves when it came to laundry, but that was easily solved with one stern look and an apologetic smile as they rushed to clean up their mess. So it wasn’t about your relationship in general, but about you specifically. Was there something you had done, something you had said? You wracked your brain for a reason to cause your partners concern but could find none.

Shouto walked into the room just then, pulling your attention away from Izuku briefly as he made his way over to you. He slipped into the bed on your other side, the mattress dipping under his weight and squeaking as he nuzzled up against you. With you sandwiched in between the two of them, Izuku sought to continue his conversation with you.

“You do know the scale keeps track of numbers, don’t you, love?”

It took you a minute, but you were sure both boys could tell the moment that it clicked in your mind. The sheer amount of horror you felt was enough to steal your breath away, your eyes going wide as you realized what he was trying to say. They knew. They both knew, and you were terrified of what they would say. This was the last thing you wanted to deal with this morning, the one thing you didn’t want them to find out. You weren’t sure how to react other than to try and hide your face into the pillow, so that’s exactly what you tried to do. But shoving your face into the pillow couldn’t stop the tears even if you wanted it to, and soon you were furiously trying to wipe your cheeks dry as you stammered out something, anything to explain yourself.

“Normally this wouldn’t bother me! I’m s-sorry, I don’t know why it’s gotten to me like this…”

“Y/N, listen to us. Please?” Todoroki’s voice seemed to calm you a bit, the deep baritone sound grounding you as you nodded to let them know you would listen. “Izuku mentioned to me two days ago that the weights on the scale were different. I didn’t think much of it at first, but then when I came home yesterday, the scale was back out after I had put it away, which means you were the one who got it out, right?”

“Y-Yeah…so?”

“That means the different weight must be yours.” Izuku booped your nose with his finger lightly, a gentle smile gracing his lips as you stared up at him. “Sho said you’ve been acting strange lately, and I’ve seen it too. You just haven’t seemed like yourself, baby. Especially for the past couple of days…” Had you really been acting different? Come to think of it, you might have been a little more anxious and stressed than usual about your weight, and those feelings had seeped into your every day activities, slowing you down and making you feel sluggish and out of sorts. “You know we love you no matter what, right?”

You nodded once again but remained silent, too upset and relieved at the same time to say anything.

“It doesn’t matter how much weight you gain. We’ll still love you the same, and nothing could ever change that. Besides, quarantine has affected all three of us. You’re not alone in this.” Shouto rested his chin on your head as he spoke, a single arm draped over you and Izuku.

“I gained weight too since the start of all of this,” Deku admitted with a sheepish look. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about, though! It just means Shouto makes really good food. And you still love me, right?”

“Of course I do. I love you regardless of that.” You were quick to respond, the words leaving your mouth before you could stop them.

“See? We feel the same way. You didn’t even notice I’d gained weight until I said something, right?”

You hated to admit it, but he was right. To be truthful, you hadn’t noticed, and you hadn’t cared. Izuku was still your love no matter what he weighed, and you were much too captivated with his luscious green curls half the time to pay attention to something trivial like that unless he brought attention to it like he had done now.

“It’s okay to feel upset about it. We’re here for you no matter what, and you can always come to us with anything that’s bothering you. But something like this won’t change how we feel about you, and it never will. We just want you to feel good about yourself and love yourself. And if it makes you feel better…you saw how much of that pizza I had last night, right? I ate over half of the whole thing. I’m sure I’ve gained weight too.” Shouto laughed a little.

“You’re our whole world, Y/N. You deserve everything good that we can provide you and you’re worthy of all of the love we can smother you in.”

As if to prove his point, both boys gave you a bone crushing hug and rubbed their faces against you. Somehow, some way, they always managed to chase away your troubles and make you feel wanted and needed.

“Thank you both,” you managed to squeak out.

“We love you, Y/N.” Shouto pulled away from the two of you and sat up, a hand running along your side in a comforting way. “Do you have a preference on breakfast?”

“Bacon and eggs,” came the immediate reply from a smirking Izuku.

“That’s too bad, because I wasn’t asking you!” The other boy just laughed.

“Bacon and eggs are fine. But can we make pancakes too? With maple syrup and blueberries!” you added.

Izuku’s head shot up at the mention of pancakes, eyes so bright and excited you almost couldn’t tell he was sleep deprived. Almost. “I second that!”

“Alright, alright. Pancakes it is. But you,” Shouto turned to you, “stay here in bed and relax with Izuku. Make sure he rests his eyes a bit, please. I’ll bring the two of you breakfast in bed.” He cupped your face in his hands and brought you in for a tender kiss, and you felt every little bit of care and concern he put behind it. He gave Izuku the same treatment before standing to leave, his eyes locked on the two of you still laying in bed. “I better not hear either of you get up while I’m busy, or else.”

“What if I have to use the bathroom?” Your teasing words earned you an eye roll and a smirk.

“You know what I mean. Be good.” And just like that, he was on his way to the kitchen.

Beside you, Izuku snuck up on you while you were turned away from him, his strong arms wrapping around your torso and pulling you close while he started to press kisses against your neck.

“Izuku…” you whined.

“What?"

“What are you doing?”

“Showing you how much I love you.”

You felt the return of butterflies in your stomach as your heart raced. Izuku crawled over you and straddled your waist, lips still attached to your neck but slowly working their way down.

“This isn’t resting, you know.”

“I don’t care."

[ryosmne]

OMG SIA!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! 🤩💜👏✨

200 people that appreciate and love your talent [including me ofc 😜]

I would love more about Dancer!Sukuna Please 🥺. Maybe Sukuna and MC end up late at the studio rehearsing the new choreo but since it’s just them the mood is less strict and more fun and flirty!! 💃🕺

About me? Well, since I found out your Tattoo Artist!Sukuna my brain has been in brain rot Sukuna state 25/8 lol 😆 but tbh, I don’t regret it 💅✨, funfact I’m a fashion student and my pronouns are she/her 😬.

Anyways, I’m so proud of you! And I know you’ll reach even more within the time and the amazing works you come up!!! ✨💜✨

Thank you so so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it a lot 💜💜💜

I completely forgot I had made Dancer! Sukuna headcannons, so thanks for reminding me :D I'm glad I could infect you with my constant thoughts of Sukuna as a secretly really soft tattoo artist 💕. Again thank you so much I'm all giddy and happy :> and I'm sorry it took a bit long, college was a bit of a bitch but I'm getting back on track :D will definitely revisit Dancer! Sukuna too. Hope you enjoy reading and have a good one :> 💗💜💜💜

Choreographer/ Dancer! Sukuna x F!reader

Warnings: a bit of suggestive content, language, that's all.

"You're dragging your left foot again."

Of course y/n was dragging her feet at this point, the studio was supposed to be closed, but her and Sukuna stayed late, a common practice amongst them, cause Sukuna wants to show her the choreographies that don't make the class, today was a bit different though.

"What's with you, I've showed you the routine three times and you're still messing up the footwork"

Y/n grasped choreos really fast, usually by two ties she'd have everything down tonight wasn't the same, she didn't really know why but she was much more nervous that usual.

"I don't want to keep you here if I keep messing up, I'm sure you've got better things to do and I've got class tomorrow"

Sukuna gave her a little laugh, this girl was an open book. "What's the fun in going home so early? We haven't even gotten to the good part yet and you better be designing those sneakers I asked two months ago in your 'class'"

Good part? Y/n questioned in her brain, fearing that her oh so lovely trainer would have her do flips. Again.

"My legs hurt, give me a break."

"Come on, you're always so whiny, let's just do it together"

Together?

Sukuna turned the music on again, that guy who lives upstairs would definitely make another noice complaint, but Sukuna couldn't care less. This scene has been stuck in his mind for days and a guy with a stick up his ass isn't going to stop him from actually living what he's been replaying in his head, dying to actually experience.

"Come here"

Y/n didn't need to be told that twice, and hurried over to him, Sukuna grabbed her shoulders and placed her Infront of him as gently as he could, he's a big guy.

"Ok, follow my lead"

He did his usual five, six, seven, eight and quickly begun moving.

Y/n followed along as best she could, her muscle memory kicking in, she found it easy to execute everything Sukuna was showing her for about an hour and a half.

She barely even noticed the intimacy of their moves at first, untill Sukuna's hand found her waist and pulled her back to reality. His presence was almost suffocating and the way his eyes never left hers didn't help either, but y/n tried her best not to mess up from his constant distraction. One way to do that is to play along, but what would happen if she did? There was undeniable chemistry between the two, everyone could see it, rumours were spreading in the studio that something was going on with them and the little crowd that gossiped and fawned over them doing their thing only added fuel to the fire.

Sukuna and y/n moved in perfect harmony, the sharpness he had complimenting her softness, their styles are so different but they work so well together, their eyes still locked, Sukuna found y/n's expression impossible to read as the song was close to an end, but he only wanted to saw her in closer just so he could figure it out.

The song was over much sooner than either of them wanted, the final poses being a bit too close for comfort, with y/n laying under Sukuna, who stared down at her with a grin plastered on his face

"Would you look at that? you should've said you wanted to do it together from the beginning, you didn't miss a single step."

Y/n let a groan out as he rolled off of her.

"My legs are killing me."

"I can think of a few ways to loosen up."

Y/n reached over to him and smacked him on the arm too tired to try and argue with him.

How was he not out of breath after this many hours and still in his usual teasing mode, one can never know.

"You should make them blue, like that top you wore yesterday, hightops."

"What?"

"The shoes, I want them in blue."

"Didn't you want purple and orange Chita print last time?"

Both of them were sweaty laying there staring at the ceiling.

"I didn't think you took that seriously."

[poptod]

Subterfuge (Baxter x Reader)

Description: You’re the new medical examiner. Like most medical examiners, you’re a little... different.

Notes: aghhhh im caught in so many lies with my family and friends that im gonna fucking break down but if i tell anyone the truth im gonna get my ass beat on several different levels WC: 1.7k

+

The latex gloves on your hands did little to stay the cold blood, staining up the skintight material that clung to your sweat. This wasn't the first time you had your hands wrist-deep in organs, but it was the first corpse who had a bullet in his eye, and the first time you were completely alone.

Your years as an assistant were finished, and now you were a full-on doctor––a medical examiner, to be specific. A coroner. The one who deals with the dead. Not a particularly charming profession, but far more interesting, and far more safe than most others.

There was one problem, though––the policemen. You were never a timid person, but some of them just got to you, itched beneath your skin and sped your heart. Why that was hadn't yet been identified, so instead you focused on something you understood; the human body. The stiffness of refrigerated muscle, the stench of uncleaned organs, a mask chafing against your cheeks. The heat of a bright light on your neck.

The man below you was a particularly unfortunate man. Died young, was never quite fully healthy, and had few friends and family. His method of death was what caught the eye of one of the detectives, though it seemed cut-and-dry to you. There were no struggle marks, puncture wounds, bruises, or even scars on his body. Only the bullet hole. He had to have done it himself. Still, it wasn't your job to question the detectives––only to bring them the information you gather.

"How's he lookin'?" Asked a man from behind you, the quiet hinges of the door swinging shut as he entered. You shot up, eyes instantly meeting his.

"Haven't gotten far. About through the small intestine," you said, gesturing to the different jars and plastic boxes categorized with the man's organs. The nearest to you was the lungs. You noted the scrunch in the man's nose with mild amusement.

"Gotten the bullet out yet?"

"Oh, yeah. Already sent it up for ballistics," you said with a curt, polite smile.

He remained silent after that, watching you work from the safe, mostly smell-free area of your desk. With his back leant on the table, he crossed his arms with intent eyes.

"You're the new medical examiner, aren't you?" He asked after a particularly wet squelching sound came from your working fingers.

"Yes sir," you said, nodding. "Started yesterday."

"Oh, this must be new for you then."

"I've done autopsies before, but this is the first time on my own, yes," you admitted with a tinge of embarrassment. It was the truth, that this was new, but he didn't have to mention it.

"Well then, welcome to the team," he chuckled. "My name's Baxter."

"(L/N). Pleasure to meet you."

"You as well. I'd shake your hand, but," he trailed off as the both of you turned to your bloodied gloves.

"Don't worry," you said, a grin spreading across your face. "I'll give you a raincheck on that."

He hummed, uncrossing his arms and legs as he began to saunter over to you. For the most part, you could easily ignore his eye, stuck between your concentrated expression and steady hands. Having teams of professors and doctors looking over your shoulder for exams had prepared you well.

"Find anything curious?" He finally asked.

"Not really," you mumbled, gently cutting open the flesh of the stomach. "Not yet. There aren't any cuts or contusions of any notable kind. Only wound I could find was the bullet hole and an infected bruise on his toe. I'll be sending blood, stomach, and stool samples up to Peters soon, I'm sure you'll know more then."

As you took the samples out of the victim's stomach, Baxter circled the brightly lit table, stopping when he reached the feet. There he knelt, scanning the pale blue skin.

"How do you suppose he got this?"

"Haven't gotten there yet, but I'd assume he bashed it against some furniture," you said. He eyed you curiously but remained quiet for a moment.

"Looks like a puncture wound," he said slowly, contemplating his words carefully before he spoke.

"Give me a moment, sir," you said with a huff, sealing up the stomach tubes and setting them on the tray beside you.

Since you were the only doctor present, you had to hold the stomach walls open yourself, which kept you busy for a good two minutes before you could look at Baxter's little pointer. To your immense relief he waited patiently for you to finish sewing and setting away your tools, before shuffling to the side to make room for you at the end of the table.

As he noticed, there was a small, dark spot beneath his big toe's nail. Digging into your white coat pocket, you pulled out your magnifier glass and set it up close to the cold skin.

"Could be right," you said softly, focused more on your sight than your tongue. You raised a gloved hand, pulling at the wound, pushing on the bruise till the hole widened.

"Needle mark?"

"That's what I was thinking," you said, shoving your magnifier glass back in your pocket. "Good eye, Baxter. I'll tell Peters to check his blood for any trace drugs."

You circled back around to your spot on the table, sorting through the six tube samples before lifting the case into your arms. Noticing your small stumble over your feet, he rushed over to join you, taking the case from you.

"I can take this up for you," he offered, his wide, grey eyes set strictly upon you. The sudden closeness had your words stammering and stuttering.

"Um – y- yeah, thank you," you said with a smile, your chest tight as he left. Only when the door shut behind him did you breathe again, turning back to the patient beneath you.

Hopefully, when you got the chance to meet the rest of the officers, you wouldn't slip up like that––messing up in front of one person was enough, and Baxter already felt like a very strange person, so probably would mind your oddness the least. The others would be less forgiving, or at least that's what you assumed. Most of the police you'd met in your life had been incredibly straight-cut, diamonds-up-the-ass kind of people.

"What a strange lad," you commented to your patient. "I should bake him some cookies."

The rest of the autopsy took three hours, full of rotting stenches and labelled gizzards. Your thirty-minute break was reduced to ten as the victims of a bar shootout came in, the three bodies riddled with bullet holes, leaving the cause of death obvious to anyone who stopped by. You didn't see Baxter again that day––not until it was done, and you were wrapped back in your personal coat, heading towards the elevator.

He caught the door before it could close in front of you, and as you rushed in with full hands you hurriedly thanked him. A bell dinged and the door shut, leaving the two of you alone in the enclosed space, the buzzing florescent light buffering between you.

"Did you hear about the shootout?" You asked when it became clear to you that this was a slow elevator.

"Yeah," he nodded, "I got a call and stopped by, but... they were already gone, and the, um.. the others were dead."

"Well, if they weren't then, they are now," you said, once again ignoring his questioning eye. "I had to put their brains in some jars."

To your surprise, he chuckled, brushing the hair off his face and readjusting his perfect posture.

"You know, usually it takes some time before new people start making jokes about the dead," he said, grinning as he looked at you out of the side of his eye.

"I'm a fast learner and a natural comedian. Mother always was disappointed in my career choice... wanted me to be a court jester," you teased with your own giggle, heart beating rapidly at the prospect of someone pretty enjoying your company.

"You do well in both careers. Do – do you need some help with that?" He asked, noticing your struggle with the varied bags in your arms.

"I think I can do it," you said, huffing as you tried to hoist the plastic back onto you. Before you could help it two of them slipped, nearly falling but halted when Baxter caught them mid-air.

"What do you have in here?" He asked, his brow furrowed as he tried to glance inside.

"Clothes," you said after a mumble of a 'thank you'. "One of the women here had a lot of clothes to get rid of and, well, I need some. And I'm sure one of my roommates could use them, too."

"Oh. Do you have a car?"

"You could call it that."

"I'll help you carry these there, then," he said, taking another bag off your shoulder. The loss of stress on your muscles left you relieved, and you sighed happily.

"Thank you, sir."

You tried to contain your smile as you led him through the parking lot, slipping between the empty spaces to get to your tiny vehicle. Legally it wasn't even a car––actually, you'd built it from the basis of a golf cart, slowly adding and changing features until it drove and looked essentially like a car. Hard work, but you'd been doing it since you stole it in the 7th grade.

Rarely did you ever get along with people, and so Baxter's politeness had sparked a delight in you that brought a ceaseless smile. When you took the bags from him, you thanked him again, attempting to hold a conversation while shoving the bags into the back of your car. He chuckled at your strained words, but eventually helped you when he got over his amusement.

"It was nice to meet you today, and thank you, again," you said once the backdoor was slammed shut beneath yours and Baxter's combined strength.

"Pleasure to meet you, as well. Drive safe now," he said, shaking your hand with a grin.

"Oh I will," you assured him, laughing. You clambered into the driver's seat, shutting the door but leaning out the open window. "If I don't I'll have you on my ass."

"You know it!" He said as he walked away, his bright laugh echoing in the mostly-empty parking lot.

[lilyofthestyx]

Fighting for Tomorrow; Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: I don't have the brain function to come up with a witty opener so I'm getting straight to the point- I don't own AOT, its characters, or its plot points. Just a girl dicking around with shit.

AN: I know it took literally forever to get out but my god I was gonna get it out today if it killed me. I love you all and thank you so much for the support! <3

Reiner x Fem!Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Fem!Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 6.1k

TW: gore/blood/violence/death, adult language/swearing, slight PTSD, mental anguish, self-harm, grief, nightmares, insomnia, hysterics, homicide??? i guess

The walls sweat and ooze moss and moisture between cinderblocks. Everything is tainted with the smell of mildew and rotting wood. Even the ceiling groans at the smell. Fire casts teasing rays against the wall across from me- but it dares not step into the darkness of my chambers. It’s silent save for the dripping of water down the hallway and the clinking metal of the iron cuffs around my ankles.

“__________,” Reiner mumbles, his shoulder barely fitting through the bars keeping me inside. His hand rests on the outer part of my thigh, tucking me closer to the iron. To him.

My eyes slink back towards him from a patch of moss fighting through the cracks of the wall. They settle on his face. I can see the weight of sleep buried under his skin- settled deep in pockets beneath his eyes. Only tiny slits of white and gold are visible as he looks down at me. He sits on the other side of the bars with only a shoulder managing to squeeze through the rusting iron bars. Reiner hasn’t left, hasn’t slept since I got here. Refuses to. ‘Wants to keep an eye out,’ he says.

I don’t know how long I’ve been down here.

“You need to sleep,” I whisper, brushing hair out of his eyes. “Please.”

“No,” he grunts, blinking slowly, “No.”

“Rei, please.”

“I’ll sleep when you’re out of this shithole.”

My fingers stop to trail down his face. “...Rei, we don’t know if-”

“You are.”

“Listen to me, we have precedent- Eren isn’t even allowed out of Levi’s sight-”

“He can turn into a fifteen-meter Titan at will,” Reiner yawns, letting his forehead hit the bar. “You… you’re different.”

“...that’s not a good thing, either, Rei,” I whisper.

I can feel his eyes on me as I mindlessly focus on his shirt. My fingers anxiously work at the fabric, twisting it over my index finger until it can’t twist anymore and then releasing it- only to do it all over again. His chest grows with breath as he watches me in silence.

“You’re gonna be-”

The door down the hallway opens. Creaking and crackling of wood echoes off the walls- punctuated by the steps of soldiers. I can’t tell how many. My head swims as it tries to focus on the various footfalls. I haven’t slept well, if at all. I can feel it in every movement, this unseen weight. I’m slow and my brain is slower.

Reiner slowly drags himself off the bars and onto his feet. He pulls his Scout cape on and leans against the bars slightly. My hand wraps around the bar, pulling me to my knees. Boots stop just in front of me. Three, I can see now. Three pairs. Slowly, my eyes trail up to face them.

Commander Erwin. Squad Leader Hange.

Captain Shortstack.

The Commander gets down onto one knee, eyes flicking between mine. Calculating, analyzing; those eyes. I can feel unseen plans and strategies behind his irises. Does he see them? Are they locked in endless rows of shelves, ready for perusal? Or are they predictions of plans? Something that he can’t see, but feel- a hazy image in a crystal ball.

“I’m sorry we had you locked up in this place,” he says. “Do you need anything?”

I laugh coldly, grabbing the bar and shifting to face him. “...water,” I whisper hoarsely, clearing my throat.

“Hange?”

Hange nods once and disappears down the hall. I can hear the door open and close as they leave.

The Commander sighs, eyes looking around the cell. “...have you had any other visitors?”

I shake my head, tilting it towards Reiner. “Watchdog didn’t let anyone in.”

“If they were in here,” Reiner mutters, “They weren’t here long.”

The Commander nods. “...we’re lucky you came to us. There’s no need for a hearing. Darius put you in our charge- so long as you remain under Hange’s supervision.”

“Hange?” I mumble, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Eren was put with Captain Levi… why wouldn’t they do the same with me?”

The door opens and shuts again, Hange coming into view as they round the corner. A glass of water in hand, they bend over and give it to me.

“Frankly speaking,” the Commander starts as I chug the water. “It’s because you don’t turn into a fifteen meter rampaging Titan.”

As I wipe my face, I place the empty bottle down on the other side of the bars. “I don’t even know what I can… do.” I laugh coldly. “I… I just… It just happens.”

My eyes ghost over the figures in front of me. Commander Erwin kneeling down in front of me, his hand gripping a bar. Hange standing just behind him, their face shifting with the shadows cast from the torches. Reiner eyeing each of the veterans with his arms crossed over his chest.

And then there’s the Captain. His eyes lock with mine- unflinching and unreadable. I become aware of every sensation as we stare at each other. The gentle breeze from an unseen source. The prickling of my skin against the cool ground. The warmth of my stomach.

I turn away quickly, tucking into myself. I felt like… he could see everything going on in my head. Piercing, steel eyes trying to piece me together like a puzzle. I scoff at myself. I sound paranoid.

But there’s something. Something about him.

Commander Erwin clears his throat and shifts a bit in his spot. “Well… from what the reports say, you… control them. You have some sort of… ability that Hange is more than interested in.”

Hange gives me a small smile. I can see the gleam in their eyes from behind their glasses. They’ve got something planned for me- and it’ll be one helluva fun time for me when I find out what in the names of the gods it is.

Red fog snakes out from under my skin- a tiny piddling of smoke that barely extends out past my fingers. But with the way Hange gasped, I thought for a second that maybe there was an entire field of red fog just behind me. As I turned to look at them, I realised there wasn’t any.

I did, however, realise they were sprinting full-speed at me, screaming incoherently.

“Jeeeeeeennnnnnnn!” They draw out my name in an ecstatic howl, stuttering to a stop just short of me. They take my arm in their hands and take out a marker. “Where did it come out of?! Mark it!” They demand, shoving the marker into my hand.

My eyes blink slowly at the marker before I mark the section of my forearm just past the inside of my elbow. Hange screams again, snatching both my arm and the marker. “Moblit!” They screech over their shoulder, “Bring the journal!”

Moblit pushes his way past the bystanding soldiers, journal in hand, as he runs to Hange. They snatch the journal and turn to a blank page. Hastily, Hange starts to scribble a drawing of my arm into the page and draws a small ‘x’ over the same spot in the book. “And it branched out about…” Hange mumbles to themself before looking at me through their glasses. “Hold your arm exactly like you did before, please.”

I nod slowly. My arm is slightly bent, fingers bent at different angles. Hange squeals and walks to observe my arm. Without a word, Moblit pulls out a ruler and hands it to Hange. Placing it at the tips of my fingers, they measure out the length of the smoke before hastily marking it down in their notebook.

“You’ve done incredibly,” Hange mumbles breathlessly, looking over at the empty field of grass surrounding us. The sun dips low behind the soft-green hills dotted with purple and yellow flowers. The rays glow orange and red as the flowers sway in the gentle breeze. “...but I think it’s time to head back.”

“We’ll be back at it tomorrow, right?” I ask quietly, stretching and flexing my fingers under my gaze.

“Eager, are we?” Hange hums as we start walking towards the horses.

I laugh softly and shrug. “...eager to get this madness under control, I guess.”

Freckles shakes his head and huffs as we approach. Clinking of metal resounds around us in the clearing as the horses pull against their restraints. Hange flashes me a quick smile before turning to another soldier- who relays some message that’s lost in the breeze. I dip my head and turn towards the open field just before the patch of forest we kept our horses in.

It’s similar to the patch of trees where… when Reiner convinced me to come to the Commander, actually. Towering trees that suddenly spring up in the middle of the hilled valley. Our horses are kept in an alcove of sorts- a small dent in the border of the forest that is surrounded by trees but open to the field through a single wide opening to the west. Through the opening, the sun finally disappears completely under the distant hills. Clouds are now blowing in, all tinted grey and blue.

There’ll be a storm coming soon. I can feel it in the air- icy and pregnant with electricity and water. Something resounds from the north, taking my attention from the now-set sun. Untying his restraints, I take Freckles and walk slowly towards the opening in the forest. Freckles fights against me slightly as we start to near the entrance. “C’mon, big guy,” I mumble, pulling the reins. “We’re gonna be stuck in the storm anyways. Might as well see how bad it is.”

Freckles huffs and stamps his hoof into the dirt. A single whinny is enough warning. There’s another resounding crash in the distance- more pronounced and powerful. Freckles shakes his head and starts to back away from the entrance.

I turn away from the entrance, walking back to the bustling camp.

Something twitches deep in my gut.

We need to leave.

My eyes scanning over the camp, I watch as some tents are wrapped up and placed in the wagons. Supplies are strapped down in wagons and on the backs of horses. Other tents- like Hange’s and the soldiers’- are being reinforced. More spikes into the ground, more waterproof layers.

“Hange?” I call, looking from the tents to the towering trees that loom and watch us. They sway dismissively, slowly. Old gods looking down at their pitiful creation. And even further above them, the darkening clouds. Furious and turbulent, they whirl around in blue and black shadow. The harnessed power of the gods- ready to strike down blasphemous heretics.

We need to leave.

Hange appears just in front of me. “We’ll be staying even longer than I’d hoped,” they mutter, eyes focused on one of the last wagons as they pull out. “Some soldiers were called in by Commander Erwin, others I sent for more supplies. If we all went, we’d be too slow in the storm.” Hange sighs, “So, we’ll be holed up in here for a few more weeks.”

“Here?”

Hange nods absentmindedly as they take out their journal.

My eyebrows work together as my eyes flick back up to the old gods. Their bark is twisted in a warning malice, their branches snapping and scratching in a brittle apprise. We have stepped on sacred ground- tarnished a temple.

They’re warning us.

“Hange,” I say quietly, tearing my eyes off the gods as they demand our departure in a language lost to time.

“Hm?” They mumble, still looking down at their journal.

“...I… there’s something wrong.”

Hange closes the book and looks up at me. “...what is it?” They ask. Their voice is flat. Cold. Calculating. I can see their eyes analytically gliding across the camp.

“There’s something out there,” I whisper, my eyes focused on the inner, shadowy heart of the forest. “There’s… there’s just something. I… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Explain what?”

My eyebrows furrow as my gaze drops to the floor. My head tilts slightly. “...I just… I feel like… I’ve… seen... this happen before.”

“This…?” Hange asks, “What do you mean?”

“I dunno,” I mumble, eyes trailing up towards the sky. “It just… feels familiar… wrong.”

Hange and I go quiet. I can feel their eyes on me before they follow my gaze to the clouds as they begin to swirl in an almost sickly mess of yellow, green, black, and blue.

“...Moblit!” Hange finally calls. Moblit is at their side in an instant. Hange turns and points out past the entrance of the forest. “We’ll be moving camp out from the forest.”

Moblit’s nods slow as his eyebrows weave together. “...out… of the forest?”

“Out. We’ll hole up against the hills in the west.”

Hesitation is prevalent in Moblit’s delayed movements. He slowly pulls away from Hange and stammers directions to the soldiers. Hange places a hand on my shoulder and looks out of the entrance. With a sigh, their glasses glaze over with a sheen that prevents me from seeing through to their eyes. “...ride out and lead the wagons towards a spot with more shelter,” they mutter, still looking out towards the hills being consumed by clouds.

Snarling, the black fog slithers in towards the hills. Hange turns and walks towards their tent without another word. Gripping the reins, I pull myself onto Freckles’ back and urge him forward.

Whatever I’ve seen before, whatever memory that is deep inside the crevices of my brain- I know it was a warning.

A deep breath fills my lungs as my eyes shoot open. My arm is outstretched- reaching for something that once hovered above me. Fingers trembling, red smoke starts to recoil back under my skin. I can feel it retracting under my muscles like a snake to its hole. With a huff, my arm hits my bed.

Someone clears their throat.

I turn over in bed to look at the voice. It’s Moblit. His eyes are trained on my arm, his fingers hovering over his blades. His clothes stick to his skin, dripping with rain.

“...nightmare,” I whisper, sitting up and rubbing the inside of my forearm.

Moblit nods slowly before pulling the tent flap open again. “...there’s something you need to see,” he says, stepping out of the tent.

I pull myself out of bed, throwing my cape on and pulling the hood over my head. Stepping out, I enter a war of wind and water. Rivulets of water already start to cascade down my arms- my cape soaked through in moments. Wind whips the fabric around my legs like hard whips, cracking against my thighs.

Moblit leads me forward. Mud squishes under my feet, sucking my legs into the earth’s body as I trudge forward. He leads me up to the crest of the hill we hid behind. Hange stands at the very top, hair and fabric tossed around as the wind ravages their body. They remain focused on the distance. Moblit stops at their side, focused on the same spot in the distance.

Blinking rapidly as watery knives carve my skin, I draw the blurred copies in my vision back into focus. The patch of forest we had originally set up in- that’s what they’re looking at. I squint, put a hand up to shield my eyes from the wind.

Titans. A dozen of them. Half of them stand in the shelter of the woods, the other half making their way towards the trees.

“...we would’ve been trapped,” Hange mumbles above the howl of the wind. “If we had stayed.”

We go silent, watching the Titans congregate in the trees before they all slip even deeper in the forest.

“...I’ve never seen them act like that,” Moblit says quietly.

“Neither have I,” Hange adds, their eyes sliding over to me.

“...I… I haven’t either,” I whisper, shaking my head. “...I… I think I haven’t.”

We go silent again but there’s no mistaking a few things. The main being that we would’ve died in a surprise attack had we stayed. The next being how little we know about these beasts.

And the most daunting- how little we know about this… power… flowing under my skin.

And how little I know how to control it.

“Control it,” Hange directs sternly, their voice focused.

“...I’m… trying,” I mutter, arms and hands locked and trembling. The smoke floods from my veins and muscles- wrapping around the Titan just a few meters away from me. It’s thick, red as it slithers around the Titan’s arms, legs, and face.

“Keep going,” Hange says firmly.

With a grunt, I lean into the fog. A low yell builds up from my stomach as I continue to push forward. ‘Stand’, I tell the Titan. ‘Stand.’

It refuses, pushing against my fog with a hunger-fueled strength. The jaws open and snap shut, fingers claw into the dirt towards us.

I plant my feet and push even harder. My voice tears as it strains out a growling scream. The Titan thrashes as another wave of red smoke surrounds it. ‘Stand’, I tell it.

A single word hits me.

‘Why?’

My body loses tension. I know I didn’t think it- I know it was from… something, somewhere. The Titan- No. No, no cognitive thought like that could come from Titans that aren’t like Eren. No, this is deeper.

From me.

I asked myself.

Why do I want it to stand?

What purpose does that serve?

What goal does that achieve?

Memories of falling, memories of Trost come running back. The forest- I saved Reiner and myself. Trost- I saved myself. Those were the goals, the purposes then. To save him and myself.

So find a goal for this, __________.

Hange’s yells finally slam against my ears. “__________! Get out of there!”

My eyes focus on the Titan emerging from the smoke, hands outstretched in an effort to grab me. My body tightens. The loose smoke mirrors my movements- tightening like a snake around the Titan. The Titan howls as the smoke enters its mouth and nose.

‘Stop’, I tell it.

I can feel it thrash against me. Planting my foot deeper in the dirt, I grit my teeth. More smoke enters its body.

‘Stop’.

The Titan stills. It heaves with breath, hunched over. The smoke dissipates but I can feel it.

We are one. I am in control. It obeys my command- I could tell it to devour itself and it’d begin tearing into its flesh.

Slowly, the Titan stands up straight.

The eyes. They glow red. Bright and intense like crimson suns. Just like the Titan in Trost. Just like the Titans in the forest. They come to rest on me. I relax and stand up. I can hear the murmurs of soldiers and the excited chatter from Hange- now faraway and distant.

The Titan lifts an arm. The soldiers jump and gasp behind me. Huffing a laugh, I sit down in the grass and watch the fingers dig into the skin behind its neck. With a single tug, the Titan’s body goes limp with its own steaming nape clutched in its hand. The body falls backward. It collides with the grass and dirt to send a spray of dust out behind it.

The soldiers are silent.

Hange walks up to stand beside me, overlooking the decaying corpse. “...did you…?” they ask quietly.

“I did,” I groan my head starts to throb and pulse. Heat begins to flood my skull furiously. My fingers rub circles in my temples as my eyes pinch closed.

Hange places a hand on my shoulder and I can hear them squat down beside me. “...I think that’s enough for now,” they mutter as something streams down my nose. “We’ll… meet up with Captain Levi and the other Scouts at HQ tomorrow. I think you’ve had enough practice away from everyone.”

I open my eyes as I wipe my nose. As my hand pulls away, I can see my skin is stained with a thick streak of blood. Moblit appears next to me, offering a handkerchief. Slowly, I take it and hold it under my nose. Hange and Moblit both help me to my feet. Moblit barks orders at soldiers to pack up the wagons as Hange leads me to my tent.

I push the flap open and plop down onto my bed. Weights are strapped onto every muscle, pulling down every movement.

This is how it is. My power- it’s limited. Controlling Titans drains my energy and leaves me wounded the more I use it. It was a nosebleed this time- but there have been times gashes form even though I haven’t been touched. It always feels like something is tearing me apart from the inside out when it gets to that point.

The point of these experiments lately have been to... build endurance. Make it so I can do more without the consequence of being ripped to shreds by my own power.

And controlling Titans isn’t even the thing that really drains me.

It’s healing myself and others that siphons energy and time before my body starts to physically tear. Minor scratches, cuts, bruises- those don’t do anything more than make me lightheaded for a few moments. But more serious wounds require more time and energy.

And there’s a possibility if the injury is too much, I may end up killing myself while healing someone else.

Hange theorizes I need more practice to heal more complicated injuries without injuring myself.

But as I use my power more and more, there have been more and more… complications.

More nightmares, more visions. I can see more detail with each day. Innocents slaughtered by red fog, blood staining my hands. There are moments when I’m healing something when a sudden inclination hits me. When I’m healing, I feel like... reversing the healing I’ve done and then stealing the person’s health even further.

There was one instance… when I was healing someone after a particularly stressful day of experiments. I was focused on creating skin under my hands when my vision went dark. The next thing I remember was Moblit pulling me away from the soldier while Hange checked over him. I had been sent to my tent with guards until Hange entered hours later. They told me that I had not only retracted the healing I had done, but made the gash fester and grow until it consumed the soldier’s entire forearm to the bone.

It had only been a rope burn that I was treating originally.

...I don’t even remember doing it. I don’t even remember having the thought of doing it. If I could just remember battling the thought, trying to keep it at bay-

“How are you feeling?” Hange asks, sitting down beside my bed with their notebook. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“...I was just thinking about that soldier.”

Hange nods. “...there’s a lot about this power we still don’t understand,” they say softly.

“Still,” I mutter, “I… I was… I was a nurse. I wanted to be a doctor, I signed up for the Scouts- I did all that because I want to help humanity, not… aid in its destruction.”

“You are helping humanity... By learning to wield this power, you’re helping us take back what was taken from us,” Hange says firmly before chuckling. “...and besides, mistakes are good teachers.”

I roll my eyes and laugh softly. “...that was cheesy, Glasses.”

Hange shrugs, “It’s not wrong.”

Sighing, I nod. “...I guess.”

A few moments of silence pass before Hange clears their throat. “You’ll… you’ll be back with the others tomorrow.”

I smile gently. “...it’s been a few weeks,” I mumble, “What’s happened since we’ve been out here?”

Hange’s smile fades.

Slowly, I sit up and take their hand. “...Hange?”

“...terrible things,” they whisper, eyes glazed as they stare unblinkingly at a spot on my bed.

We go silent. Their hand clenches around mine as they take a long, slow breath. Swallowing thickly, their eyes slowly meet with mine. “After you were… when you came to Commander Erwin about your power,” they start before taking another deep breath. “...the entirety of Levi Squad was…”

My heart stops. I can feel every sensation amplify and see each moment a million times over. A blade of grass shaking in the wind. A dewdrop dripping off the edges of the canvas tent flap. A rough patch of their fingers catching on the fabric of their cape.

“...Eren?” I breathe out. “Is Eren-”

“Eren’s alive,” Hange says quickly, placing a hand on my shoulder and tightening their grip. “Eren’s alive and well.” Hange chuckles, “...got into a bit of a scuffle with the Female Titan but he’s alive.”

My eyes roll back into my head with a breathy laugh. “Thank the gods,” I mumble, my eyes shut. “Thank the gods…”

“But, __________,” Hange’s hand squeezes my shoulder. My eyes open in response, landing on their face. Their eyebrows drawn, tears prick their eyes. “...Eld’s gone.”

I can feel my heart clench with their words. Eld’s gone. Another one taken from me. Slowly, I nod. “Can… can I have a moment? Alone, please.” I ask breathily, my voice slightly scratching with tears.

Hange nods and gets up. Another shoulder-squeeze and they walk out of my tent without another word.

Laying back down, I remember those nights after Shiganshina fell. The running, the fighting, the searching. Terrifying beasts disguised as men following me in the moonlight. Fending off those beasts’ kin that wished to drag me into complacent subservience for their own fleshly satisfaction. Looking for kids in the darkest pits of the Underground.

And those gaunt, sun-starved, malnourished people living- existing- in the Underground. Pale, clammy hands grasping at my ankles like damned souls from Hell. The pleading, wailing, begging for mercy and healing. To be cured. To be treated like a human being. And then there were those who damned me. Damned me for being born above the ground, being fortunate. They, diseased and broken, spat at me for nothing more than being alive.

And who could’ve blamed them?

I helped where I could, when I could. I had never seen so many people in one spot with so many different types of diseases- some practically extinct above ground. It was a festering shithole. But I gained a reputation, connections, information. While I worked on family members and friends, I asked those who could answer if they had any idea where I could find the kids. People would point me down a path as payment and I’d set off. And then I was pointed to that asshole.

I sigh and roll over, tucking the blanket up over my head. With each blink, moments of that night flash. I was looking for the kids- he was someone who dealt with the field detail they had issued as a last-ditch effort to cultivate the land. I was told he could help me find where the kids were assigned; which field, which town, something.

What a waste of time.

‘From the sound of it,’ he had said as he took a sip of wine, ‘you’re desperate.’

I told him no, that I was just being thorough, that I had no doubt they were alive and well and out of trouble.

He had laughed. A cruel, cold, rasping laugh that made my skin crawl. When he finally stopped, he looked at me like a wolf looked at prey. Not sexually, not pervertedly, no. Just like prey. Hunter and hunted. ‘I’ll help you find them,’ he swore with another sip, ‘if you do something for me in return.’

I asked him what he wanted.

He smiled, leaned in. I can still see the gleam in his eyes. ‘I want you to kill Captain Levi and Commander Erwin Smith.’

I asked him why. Why he would want the Commander and Captain dead.

‘The Captain went back on our deal,’ he had said. ‘And the Commander is far too ambitious for his own good.’

I groan, tossing back the cover.

I had entertained the idea. I had thought about it- even if it was for a moment. I debated the morality of it all. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier and the leader of the Scouts in exchange for three innocent children- for three of my children. There was a moment when I was weak, when I was desperate enough to seriously consider it.

But I knew.

I knew I could find them myself. I knew it would’ve been a lot more of a sacrifice than just the Commander and the Captain.

I would’ve damned the entirety of humanity for my family.

If Eld hadn’t found me that night, if I hadn’t been convinced in my grief to join the Scouts- I would’ve done it. I would’ve crawled back to that offer and cut myself, bled myself dry of humanity and loyalty to my species in order to save my family.

Eld was the person that showed me how to keep my humanity. Eld was the person that helped me find my family.

And now he’s gone, too.

“There’s a reason why we brought you back from training,” the Commander admits, sitting down across from me with a sigh.

My eyebrows knit together as I look over to Hange. They turn their head to avoid my gaze. Turning to face the Commander, I tilt my head slightly. “...what is it?” I ask quietly.

“You’re to be processed by the courts with Eren.”

Chills slide rampantly along my skin. Being sent to the courts means my existence lies in the hands of a single man- Darius. That my being allowed to live would be debated the same way someone would debate killing a bug.

And for Eren, it may mean he…

“Commander,” I mumble, my eyes dotting with tears as the walls start to close in around me. “Commander- Eren, he’ll-”

“I know,” he says, his eyes simultaneously soft with sympathy and harsh with reality.

“But we have a plan,” Hange cuts in, their voice gentle.

“What is it?” I ask, taking a strained breath in.

“We’ll be using body doubles for you and Eren when the Military Police come to take you in,” the Commander starts, “You’ll be assisting us in another way… a way that rebels against the MP’s rule.”

I tilt my head slightly to the side. “...which is…?”

“You’re going to use your power to help us capture a spy amongst the Scouts.”

“...a spy?” I ask quietly, eyebrows weaving together at his words. A spy for the Titans? Who would-

My face relaxes with realization. The Female Titan. They found her operator. They know who controls that Titan. And they’re one of us.

“...who is it?”

“That will be revealed when you see her in person,” Commander Erwin states. “I’m sure you understand the secrecy.”

I nod slowly. If they announced her identity, any associate of hers could and would run to tell her about the plan and she’d disappear. Or worse. She may transform and lay waste to humanity from the inside out.

“Commander?”

“Yes, __________?”

“...this traitor,” I mutter, “my powers may not work on her. We’ve never tried to use my power on a Titan being controlled by a human.”

“Yes… Hange had told me about that. Even if your powers don’t work on her, you can prove to be a valuable asset that assists us. Hange tells me of your healing capabilities.”

I nod once. “Yes, sir… I can heal injuries fairly well. I… I can’t fix severed limbs but… I can make it so someone doesn’t die from losing an arm or having a leg torn off.”

The Commander smiles slightly. “An advantageous ability.”

I dip my head. “Thank you, sir.”

“You should get going,” the Commander says softly. “You’ve been gone for a long time- I’m sure there are some faces you’ve missed.”

“Yes, sir,” I mumble, getting up from my seat. “Thank you, sir.”

Breaking out into a sprint, a breathy laugh leaves my lips. Sasha drops a plate of food and runs to me. “You’re back!” She giggles, taking me into a hug. “How was it? Did they do anything to you?”

I shake my head and watch over her shoulder as the others clamber over seats to get to us. “It was a lot of experiments- but nothing like what the Military Police would’ve had done.”

“Well, look who’s back,” Jean says, a joking smirk on his lips. “It’s… it’s good t’have ya back, Mom.” I pinch his side as he takes me into a hug.

“So you’re like Eren now, huh?” Connie asks, wrapping his arms around me. “All power-y ‘nd whatever.”

I shrug, looking down at my hands. “I’m not nearly as… I’m not exploding into a Titan, if that’s what you’re saying.”

“Pfft, no,” Connie scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I mean you’re like. Cool… ‘r something.”

“Please,” I laugh, “I was cool a long time before that...” I stop, looking around the kitchen, “Where ‘re the others?”

“Eren, Mikasa, ‘nd Armin were with Bertholdt ‘nd Reiner just a second ago…,” Sasha mumbles, turning to survey the kitchen. “I thought I-”

My eyes slide over the entrance, where the five of them stand talking. “Found ‘em.” I turn to Sasha and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be right back. Gotta go say hi t’the meathead.”

“Bring ‘em over,” Connie offers, “We can eat in the courtyard.”

Ducking my head, I start towards the group. Reiner is joking with Eren, grabbing him by the shoulder and quickly rubbing his knuckles on his hair. Eren thrashes around and pushes him off with a smile. Mikasa cracks a smile as she watches them in silence. Armin’s talking quietly with Bertholdt, who nods slowly at his words.

“Hey!” I call, waving my arm over my head. “Rei! Mikasa!”

Their faces all turn towards me, their eyes wide and movements frozen. Armin’s the first to break into a sprint for me- Mikasa, Eren, Reiner, and Bertholdt hot on his heels. As he collides with me, his arms wrap around me. “You were gone for so long!” Armin mumbles, pulling away to look up at me.

“Too long,” Reiner huffs as he stumbles to a stop just in front of me. “Way, way, way too long.”

“So what’d they do?” Eren asks, “Did Hange have you go down a well too?” The rest of us turn to face him, our eyebrows drawn and mouths hanging open slightly. Eren blushes and shrugs. “...that’s… that’s what they did t’me.”

“Well, I mean, I don’t exactly turn into a giant, pissed-off Titan,” I tease, ruffling his hair. “So there weren’t any wells.”

“But what about-?!”

“We can discuss it over dinner,” I interrupt gently, “I just rode all day t’get here, I’m starving.”

“I’ll grab you something,” Mikasa offers, taking Armin and Eren’s wrists.

“We’ll be in the courtyard, okay?”

With a single nod, the three of them hurry off to the food. Bertholdt clears his throat, “It’s… it’s great t’see you again,” he says with a small smile. “I… I should go make sure they don’t start another fight with Jean.”

“‘They’?”

“...I should go make sure Eren doesn’t start another fight with Jean.”

“Thank you,” I smile as he starts off after them.

Reiner sighs heavily, taking my hand softly. “Gods, I’m glad you’re back.”

My smile grows as our fingers interlace. “...I’m glad to be back.”

The two of us watch as Bertholdt tries to defuse the tension between Eren and Jean. They’re snarling and barking like foaming-mouth dogs while Bertholdt has Eren by the collar. He’s sweating as he hurriedly calms the two down. Mikasa watches with a plate of food, saying something to Armin that makes him burst into laughter.

“...ya know,” Reiner mumbles, leaning down to whisper into my ear. “...they won’t be done for a bit.”

“What’re you implying?” I smirk.

“You know exactly what.”

“...bet I can beat my record.”

“Well, I mean… it’s been a while since…”

“You didn’t-?” I stop myself and shake my head. “Whatever, I’m still beating my record.”

The two of us stumble out into the courtyard, a giggling mess. “Told ya I’d beat my record,” I puff my chest out proudly.

“You really expect me t’last when you look like that?” Reiner scoffs, “You have way too much faith in me.”

He takes my hand as we walk towards the others. Sasha spots us and waves her arm over her head, gesturing to the spot they have laid out on the grass. It’s oddly peaceful- the calm before the storm. Tomorrow we’ll root out a traitor in our ranks. A friend, possibly, working against us for…

For them. Titans. For reasons unknown.

Hopefully tomorrow brings us some answers.

[twomoonstwosuns]

birthday.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warnings: smut (18+), delicious tooth-rotting fluff

word count: 3.4k

a/n: thank you guys so much for being patient, I know this took way too long. if you saw my posts you know I was dealing with some medical stuff and ended up in the hospital for a few days, but I’m better and back at work. And thank you to everyone for your kind words <3 anyways here’s some soft af smut, I hope it makes you feel feelings.

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It had been the longest three and a half weeks of your life. 

Ever since you found out he had threatened to expose your relationship, it was like you saw Hux everywhere. You had never really seen him around campus before, but now he seemed to be around every corner or in every coffee line and you could swear he was watching you. 

You had shed a few tears when you got back to your apartment, your roommates immediately sitting you down and listening to the entire story. You were still in shock that someone could be so selfish to use something so personal to someone as a weapon. Hux was a professor that neither you nor your roommates had had, but he was known as a decent teacher around the school. 

Though decent teacher and decent human being were clearly two different things. 

The collection of your boyfriend’s sweatshirts had slowly started to build since the beginning of March but there was one particular sweatshirt of his that was incredibly soft from being washed so many times that you loved. He always teased you about it because it was also his favorite. So you were surprised to find that sweatshirt plus a ratty well-loved t-shirt that featured a band you’d never heard of before in your bag when you got home, tears welling in your eyes at the touching gesture. 

Class was painful. Twice a week you were able to actually see Poe, but you had to stop yourself from staring at him like you were completely infatuated when there were other people around. Conversations with him were class-related and boring, not exactly the pillow talk you’d grown to love. It rubbed the whole situation the two of you were in right in your face. 

The closest you got to touching him was when he handed you back a first draft of a long essay he had assigned. Your fingers accidentally brushed against his as you took your paper from him and you didn’t get the chance to react because Kaydel leaned over and asked how your paper was looking. You flipped through the pages and were reading through some of the comments he made when you saw two tiny blue post it notes on the fourth page, one with an ‘I miss you’ and the other with a ‘you look beautiful today’ and a drawing of the heart eyes smiley face. You bit your lip to keep from smiling too widely, but you were swooning inside.  

Being told you couldn’t have what you wanted sucked. 

You woke the morning of your birthday with your two roommates bursting into your room blasting Taylor Swift’s “22” and holding your favorite scone and mixed coffee drink from your favorite local café. They had surprises lined up for you that night, starting at seven when you were all done with classes. When they left your room, you laid back in bed and willed the motivation to get ready for class to come to you. Your phone dinged beside you and a smile immediately formed on your face when you saw it was from Poe. 

At least you were still able to text him and call him and FaceTime him. 

You opened the message he sent, seeing an audio message instead of a text. The sound of his guitar filled your ears and the strings plucked the familiar tune of “Happy Birthday”, his voice soft enough to send you back to sleep.

“I miss you, baby,” he said as finished playing “Happy birthday.”

You wanted to text him ‘I love you’ right then and there, but you didn’t. It kind of scared you how strongly you felt about him after only being with him for a few months and the last thing you wanted to do was make this separation permanent. So you stayed quiet, saying it in your head as you drifted off to sleep each night. 

You hated when your birthdays landed on weekdays. There was something so much more fun about making a day out of your birthday than spending over half the day stuck in class. You paid very little attention, going through multiple happy birthday texts and social media posts from friends and family, and of course texting Poe when he was in between classes. 

Your roommates treated you to dinner at a local bistro, a place you had all been eyeing on going since you were freshmen. It was a little more upscale, so you promised yourself you’d make time for it before you graduated. Jessika had left before you and Karé to stop by work, a scheduling issue that she said would take ten minutes to fix turned into twenty and made her late for dinner. The service at the bistro was surprisingly quick for a Friday night and she had to order after you and Karé already placed yours. 

Dinner turned into wanting to grab drinks at Maz’s, the special birthday drink famously known throughout campus. On the way to the bar you got on the phone with your mom and sister, confirming the plan to drive home the next day to celebrate your birthday with them. You were so wrapped up in the conversation of what your mother was going to make for your birthday dinner that you didn’t even notice you weren’t at the bar until the car had stopped and you hung up the phone.

“Wait, what are we doing back at the apartment?”

Jessika leaned forward onto the console and looked at you. “Will you run in and get my card?”

“What? No.”

“Please.”

“Why me?”

“Because you used it last.”

“Um…no I didn’t.”

“Yes you did, last week when we ordered pizza.”

“I gave it back to you.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Oh my god, will someone just go get the card?” Karé said exasperatedly.

“Y/N, go.”

You look back at Jessika and narrow your eyes. 

“You’ve been missing your card for a week and you just noticed it was missing?”

“No time for judgment, just go find it please. I think it’s in the kitchen.”

You rolled your eyes and opened the car door, slamming it on Jessika’s “thank you”. You rushed inside, your phone buzzing with Jessika’s name flashing across your screen. 

“I swear to god Jessika, if you tell me you just found your card in your wallet—“

“I didn’t, I just remembered a few other places you could check in case it’s not where I think it is.”

You took the elevator up to the third floor where your apartment was, Jessika chattering away in your ear. You speed-walked down the hallway, pulling your keys out of your pocket. 

“Are you there yet?”

“Calm down, I’m unlocking the door now. Where am I supposed to look for your credit card?”

“Did you take it into your bedroom at all?”

“No.”

“Then try the kitchen counter first.”

You walked into the apartment, confused as to why it wasn’t pitch black. “One of you left a light on!”

Karé and Jessika both mumbled something incoherent into the phone as you walked towards the kitchen and you suddenly stopped cold in your tracks. Standing in front of you was Poe, his eyes lighting up and a wide smile crossing his face illuminated by the lamp in the living room when he saw you. A single cupcake with a lone candle sat in his hand. 

“Happy birthday, Y/N.”

You were speechless, your mouth attempting to form words but failing miserably as your brain wondered if you were hallucinating. Birthday or not, he was the last person you expected to see. 

“Surprise!” Jessika and Karé exclaimed into the phone, taking your silence as the sign you had found your surprise. “We got you for the evening so Poe’s got you for the night! We’ve got Beebs and we’re spending the night elsewhere. Have fun, we’ll see you in the morning!”

They hung up on you but you still didn’t move, still too stunned that this was real. Poe chuckled and blew out the candle on the cupcake so wax wouldn’t melt onto it before setting it down. He tilted his head to catch your eye with a smirk on his face. 

“Sweetheart?”

You set your phone and keys down on the counter and walked swiftly towards him, throwing your arms around his neck and burying your head in his shoulder. Poe returned your fervent embrace, lifting you off the ground as he hugged you just as tightly as you were hugging him. He pressed a kiss to the juncture of your shoulder and you brought your head around to crash your lips onto his. 

Poe’s hand came up to cup the back of your head, strands of your hair slipping between his fingers. You cupped his cheek with one hand, the feeling of his lips finally on yours bringing back the familiar butterflies you’d been missing for weeks. 

You pulled away breathless, a laugh of disbelief slipping from your lips as he set you back down on the ground but keeping his arms tight around you. 

“How!?”

“Jessika snuck me in here after you left. That’s why she was late for dinner.”

Tears welled in your eyes and you let out a watery laugh. This was, by far, the best birthday present you’d ever gotten. Poe looked at you in concern. 

“Hey, are you ok?”

You nodded and gave him a sure smile. “I’m fine. Better now.”

Poe placed his hand on your cheek and brought your lips back to his in a short, sweet kiss. He then reached behind you to the cupcake off the counter, only removing his arm from around you long enough to re-light the candle. You smiled as you blew out the candle, taking a bite of the red velvet cupcake and getting another kiss from Poe to get the frosting off of your lips.  

“I got you something.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” Poe said with a soft smile as he reached his hand into his pocket. “I did anyway.”

You set the cupcake down and he placed a tiny drawstring bag into your hand. You opened it and a silver bangle fell into your palm, a small hockey skate charm hanging off of it. You laughed as you ran your thumb across it. 

“Now I’ll have daily reminder of how badly I skate,” you laughed, looking up at Poe to see a humorous smile on his face. “I love it, thank you.”

Poe grabbed it from your hand and clasped it around your wrist, the tips of his fingers moving gracefully against your skin and sending goosebumps across your skin. You admired it as you rested your hand against Poe’s chest, his hands settling back onto your waist.

“So, I get you for the night huh?” You asked, your fingers running over the collar of his shirt. 

“The whole night. Whatever you want to do.”

“How long do I have you tomorrow?”

“Just until the morning. I’ve got a ton of grading to do you and you’re going to see your mom and sister.”

You sighed. “I could ditch them. Say I have homework or something.”

“I can’t have them hating me before they even meet me.”

You giggled and glanced at the clock on the microwave. “Twelve hours isn’t enough time.”

“I know,” Poe said, squeezing your waist and leaning down to kiss your cheek. “We better make the most of the time we have then.”

Placing a hand on his cheek, you brought Poe’s gaze to you. You gave him a small smile before leaning in and placing your lips on his. Your lips moved slowly together, every intention of your desire for him expressed in one simple action. His eyes were dark when you broke the kiss, studying your face as if deciding where he wanted to kiss you next. Stepping out of his embrace, you moved to the living room to turn off the lamp before holding out your hand. He took it, squeezing it gently as you led him to your bedroom. 

You undressed each other slowly, taking time to kiss or touch every new piece of skin exposed. Looking down at you with a hand on your lower back, he guided you back to your bed. His eyes were dark but he wasn’t looking at you like a predator hunting its prey; dare you say there was complete adoration sparkling behind his brown eyes. 

Poe kissed you once more before moving down your body, kisses being pressed wherever he could reach. His lips moved along the outline of your bra, nimble fingers circling behind you to take it off and throwing it aside. He suckled your breasts, tongue gently flicking against your hardened nubs and making you sigh in complete delight. He gave your breasts equal attention before moving down your stomach, the lightness of his lips tickling your stomach. 

Poe’s fingers dipped into the waistband of your underwear and his eyes connecting with yours looking for the ‘okay’. With a sure nod of your head, he tugged them down your legs and tossed them into the growing pile of clothes on the floor. His fingers curled around the bend of your knee, lips connecting to the spot next to your kneecap and moving upward. His lips ghosted up your thigh, breath hot against you and long eyelashes tickling your skin as his warm breath hit your slick folds. He pressed a kiss against you, a quiet gasp falling from your lips when his tongue ran along you up to your clit. Your hands flew to his hair, a quiet “fuck” mumbled breathlessly and you briefly wondered if it would be selfish of you to ask him to stay between your legs for the rest of the night. 

He grabbed one of the hands that was in his hair and brought it down to rest against your lower stomach, fingers tangling together as he held your hips still while he worked his tongue against you. He sucked your clit between his lips, a high-pitched whine escaping you as you squeezed his hand. 

“Poe, please…” Your voice was breathy, like all the air had been sucked out of your lungs. A light tug on his hair made Poe move back up your body, leaving chaste kisses all over you until he hovered over you, chest pressed against yours and his cock nestled against the juncture of your legs. He brought your hands up next to your head, holding them down with light pressure. You breathed heavily, eyes raking over his face from the shine of your arousal on his lips and the slope of his nose to the crinkle of his eyes. “I need you.”

His dark hooded eyes took you in, the pink tint of your flushed skin and the way your lips were swollen from being consumed by his. He had completely melted you into a puddle. He let go of your hand to line himself up to your entrance, his eyes never leaving your face. You leaned up and brushed your lips over his as his forehead came down to rest against yours. He pushed inside you slowly, a quiet moan coming from your throat as he settled inside you. He held still to let you adjust around him, his hand coming up to brush the hair out of your face. 

“Fuck, I miss you,” he whispered as he started to move, his hips rocking into you with a tenderness you hadn’t experienced with him before. A quiet gasp fell from your lips, eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. Your arm escaped his grasp above your head to wrap itself around his neck. 

Poe brought his lips down to yours, swallowing every noise you made as he kissed you deeply and slowly, the pace of his thrusts deep and deliberate. His hands ran over your body, already familiar with every curve and every place that drove you wild. Poe connected his lips to your neck, gently sucking reminders of your night across your neck and collarbone. He drove his hips into yours, the movements deep and precise and you felt like he could push you straight through the mattress. 

If he did, you’d hold him tight and drag him down with you.

You put a hand on his chest and he stilled, looking down at you. You gave him a knowing smile as you pushed against him lightly. He smiled and wrapped his arms around you as started to sit up, sitting back and pulling you into his lap. Your hands rested on the side of his neck as you ground your hips against his, the new angle sending ripples of pleasure through your bodies. Soft moans left your lips as Poe guided you up and down his cock with his hands on your hips, his own sounds against your skin making you shiver. You threw your head back, whispered praises from Poe said against your chest. 

He met the movement of your hips, the angle making his cock brush against that spot inside you with each thrust. You clenched around him, the warm feeling in the pit of your stomach beginning to form. Poe kissed up from your chest to your neck, nuzzling his nose against it and letting his teeth gently scrape the outline of your pulse point. 

“Baby…” Poe formed the word against your skin, tears pricking your eyes at the affection behind it. “Let go, I’ve got you.”

Neither of you were going to last long but the amount you cared about it was very little. You wanted it to last, but you also craved the way he made you fall apart, and you knew it would be the first of many rounds that night. Poe claimed your mouth for the hundredth time that night, another kiss of many more to come, before kissing back down your neck to your shoulder. You held him close as you fell over the edge, your whole body trembling and the the rush of your orgasm almost making you cry from the flurry of emotions you felt at that moment. Poe grunted into your shoulder, his breath hot against you as he came, stilling his movements and holding your waist tightly as he spilled inside you.

You felt like you ceased to exist, as if you had come together in the throes of pleasure and become one. 

Neither of you spoke, both of you too afraid of blurting out your shared secret. So you kissed him. You let your lips say the words you were scared to say, but you felt them. Oh, did you feel them. Poe held you impossibly close, as though he could absorb every part of you and take you back with him. His fingertips ghosted up your spine and you rested your forehead against his, breathing the same air as the euphoric high settled into a dream like haze. 

You stayed in that position until you couldn’t, the call of the bed beneath you becoming too great to ignore. Poe laid back, bringing you with so you laid on top of his chest, completely relaxed and moving your head between resting your chin on his chest to look at him and laying your cheek against his beating heart. He stayed inside of you and stroked your hair, neither one of you in any hurry to move. 

You were mostly quiet, too busy basking in each others company to have in depth conversations. Any conversations you did have ended in laughter and the swapping of kisses, limbs tangled together as you held each other as close as you could. Once again, you and Poe fought off sleep as long as you could, dreading the coming of daybreak when you’d have to part until the next time you’d be able to see each other…whenever that would be. 

But you still had that night and while you couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words, you’d show Poe just how much you loved him over and over again. 

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[trials-by-blood]

Umm...I always see Yautja being paired up with someone strong and skilled and stuff. I was wondering if you could write something with any Yautja being with someone who is shy, meek, and a little chubby. And when they're alone or think they are they sing along to music and dance even though they can't.XD Sorry if I'm asking too much or anything...

Fegris, the dump world where the unwanted are left to rot and crumble.

  This was once a world where the yautja would crash their obsolete vessels so that they could not fall into use by the other space faring races. Ships were not the only things they left behind. Exiles, heretics, or anyone who upset the balance of their society were also left to wither, but not all did.

  In the following ages, other peoples would use Fegris as a place to forget their burdens. The Faceless Ones unloaded their collected specimens here when science deemed that their time of usefulness had ended.

  Now generations of humans, yautja, clade, mind eaters and all manner of invasive species build their cities here, clinging to half remembered mockeries of their mother cultures. Here, all Forgotten busy themselves mining ore, seeking pleasurable escape, stripping precious metals from ancient wrecks, gambling, farming, extorting, building, destroying, breeding, killing.

  One of the few honest livings to be made anywhere, the food service industry, prospers here. Organic people must eat, so this work will never die.

  Heather, an old name from an old world no one can recall, worked for her room and board at what would best resemble a mall food court. It wasn't a particularly hazardous occupation, so long as you don't taste-test the food or stay long after the coalition of retail outlets close.

(OOC: Okay this ran WAY longer than I anticipated and I had to make the choice to cap it off at 2,500ish words. I’m sorry if this TOTALLY misses the vibe you were hoping for, I kinda got carried away. Oops)

  Once, she'd made that mistake. Even her cold hearted rock-sucker of a boss told her not to bother finishing the cleaning if it meant staying after hours, but she hadn't listened. Heather hadn't wanted to leave her work half done and risk losing her job and newly acquired living space on her first day. So she'd stayed to wipe down the counters and load the trolly cart with the leftovers for the cooler. The reward for a job well finished was stepping out into the market spaces abandoned by customers and workers but repopulated by the local Yautja Bad-bloods and their rivals, The Cranium Skaggers. They were working through a territorial dispute.

  The Skaggers were human, but barely. They injected enhancement serums, most barely tested, directly into their brain tissues via an implanted port installed at the top of their shaved heads.

  Heather had stepped out of her safe enclosed little work area into a street brawl, and was pinned between the doors she'd only just locked and the carnal violence of the city. One of the yautja, who's vision was... not like hers, must have mistaken her bright heat signature and rapid heart rhythm for a Cranium Skagger.

  Oh, she tried to run when she saw him move on her with his unhuman, talon tipped hand outstretched to seize her. Heather had dropped her bag, the keys, the silly hat which matched with her uniform, and she ran but he was fast, so horridly fast for something so big, heavy, and grieved with bulky armor.

  It only took him three strides, thud thud thud, to reach her and tangle his terrible claws into the back of her long tunic. She was thrown, landing hard, disoriented and crying out as deep, raw pain shot up her left hip and into her pelvis. Something was broken.

  She saw him, her attacker, and the blades attached to his dominant arm glistening with the blood of Cranium Skagger's, but she didn't even think to cover her face. All she could do was scream for help.

  Her plea was answered. A great clawed fist smashed across the Yautja's mask with such force that his yowling face was revealed as his helm was torn from him. Next, skulls collided with a clapping of flesh so sharp, Heather thought someone had cracked a whip above her.

  One Yautja had begun to fight another. That was when she did the sensible thing, curling her arms over her head and making herself as small as she could.

  She survived that night. That battle resolved itself as she lied on the ground trembling and weeping in terror, but her savior stuck around after all the others had left. He put her things next to her, and waited until her boss came to collect her and get her help. The yautja must have gone through her communicator for her contacts.

  The fractured hip was easily and painlessly repaired but the procedure had completely drained her savings. To her shock and mild horror, someone had wired to her account credits in the exact amount to replace what she'd spent at the Urgent Intervention Facility to fix her leg.

  When she returned to work, who was there at the food court? The yautja who'd stayed that night. He stood out like a broken finger, the cleaned hand bones and torn out skull ports of Skaggers littered about what he wore like grim badges of honor. The sight of him watching her enter her workplace sent a chill up Heather's spine.

  This kept up for weeks, until The Indecent was months behind her. She'd go to work, and he'd be there, just watching. Heather's co-workers weren't fans of her admirer. Yagon, the young clade boy who took the morning shift before her was the least fond of the yautja lingering around.

  Today, as Heather stepped past her bad-blood observer who had decided to lean against the wall next to the employee entrance, Yagon was peeking out from the door to keep a watchful eye on her as she came in for her shift.

  Yagon chittered irritably, antennae vibrating as he took off his smock and hat so he could scratch his double claws at the translator hanging on a lanyard around his the joining of his head and thorax.

  The voice emanating from the little box was monotone and purposefully slow so that it could be heard clearly as he continued chirping and tweeting.

  "You know what that creep does all day waiting for you to come in? He listens to recordings of you singing on your shifts."

  Heather cringed. That was creepy. She'd had a feeling that he'd been able to hear her sing to herself from where he usually hung around, but she never thought he'd record her. It felt incredibly invasive. She briefly imagined confronting him about it, but thought better of it. He could crush her skull between his hands as if it were a brittle little Skitterling egg. She hunched her shoulders and hugged herself a bit.

  Yagon then turned and dropped the claws of his primary arms on her shoulders.

  "I can file an anonymous report for you. Please? I don't want to come in to work one day and find out something happened to you."

  Heather sighed, trying not to vividly imagine how an exiled yautja might retaliate to that.

  "N- no, I think that would just make things worse, Yagon," Heather tried not to whimper.

  Yagon finished folding his smock and hat into his bag and left, but not before offering twice more to file that report.

  A few hours passed and Heather caught herself singing a handful of times as she fell into her work routine but always stopped when she remembered who was listening. It felt awful, being observed so closely and denied the personal freedom do anything without fear of having it recorded for some stranger's entertainment.

  Again, she thought about confronting the yautja watcher, but couldn't help the violent catastrophes imagined with the idea.

  She felt like she couldn't make a noise or do a thing for herself to make this crappy job the least bit bearable without putting on some bizarre show for Captain Cranium Crusher out there! Heather's frustration built and built until she couldn't take it anymore.

  The walk-in cooler. It was sound proof, right? The moment she finished the lunch-rush line of customers holding out their trays for their greasy food, Heather tore off her gloves, tossed them in the general direction of the trash chute and turned on her heel to stomp her way to that cooler door.

  Heather glanced over the counter to confirm the Skull Collecting Jerk was still out there haunting the seating area. There he was, arms crossed against his chiseled chest, ass planted on a chair that could barely hold his weight with his big ugly sandled feet propped up on one of the tables. Bastard.

  She pulled open the thick insulated door and slammed it behind her. First she simply bellowed angrily, stomped her foot, slapped a bag of single serve condiments as hard as she could manage, doing anything to break the severe edge from her frustration.

  "UGH! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" She tore off her work smock and threw her hat on the floor to stomp on it, "I'M JUST A SHORT, ROUND, NOBODY WHO SHOVELS SLOP ONTO PLATES SIX HOURS A DAY. I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN IN A REAL FIGHT! I'M NOTHING! WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME? WHAT THE FUCK COULD BE SO INTERESTING ABOUT ME?! STOP WATCHING ME, YOU ASSHOLE!"

  Then, spitefully, she sang her favorite song, watching the misty puffs of her breath dissipate as her heart pounded.

  Now, she felt cold and her throat hurt from belting out her very favorite lyrics so harshly. It wasn't fair, she shouldn't have to be reminded of that night every afternoon on her shift. It sucked, and somehow she felt guilty for being angry even though none of this was her fault and she knew she had every right to be angry. So Heather curled up and cried in the cooler for a half-hour at the helplessness she felt. It felt gross, and she knew by now there had to be a never-ending line of pissed off customers outside. She was afraid of confrontation and couldn't ever imagine herself actually standing up to anyone. She could already tell that she'd be crying in her apartment after work too. Whob wouldn't after the verbal abuse she'd no doubt suffer at the service counter from customers tired of waiting.

  Miserably, Heather stood and steeled her resolve to go back out there. With a deep, shaky breath, put her smock back on and fixed her hat.

  "I'll get through it because I'm good at getting through it," she told herself to make it easier to reach for that door.

  Chur-clunk. Chur-clunk. It was jammed. Oh no the cooler door was stuck. Heather put her weight into her next push, then her entire being into the push after that.

  "Oh GODS I'm going to freeze to death!" she wailed, pushing at the door again with everything she had.

  Frustration, anger, helplessness, now panic. She didn't want to die alone of hypothermia at work.

  There was a bang and a great dent had appeared in the thick door. Before she could figure what was happening, the door was torn completely from the reinforced hinges. Heather shrieked and fell squarely on her bottom.

  There he was again, who else would it be coming to her rescue and staring coldly down at her through the dead lenses of that helmet.

  In one swift motion he lifted his left arm and clicked away at the keys of his gauntlet computer with those claws. The hologram display showed Heather a collection of files marked with icons she recognized. They were just cropped, slightly fuzzy pictures of her name tag for work. With a few more taps of his claw, all of the icons dissolved. He deleted them. He'd deleted all of his recordings which pertained to her.

  "Oh, shit, you heard all of that," Heather whimpered, clutching her head with both hands in mortification. He must have heard what Yagon said earlier too.

  He said nothing, made no noise. He just stood there like an imposing statue for a few tense seconds before turning to stride away.

  She wasn't fired for the broken door and spoiled food. Before she could even collect herself from the floor in the cooler, her boss was wired a credit transfer for "damages".

  Later as she heard of his generosity, it also explained the mysterious funds appearing in her account after the hip procedure. That had been Him too.

  Her "admirer" didn't come back after that, which was a relief for the first week or two. After a while she found herself over thinking the whole thing. Yautja were notorious for being socially incomprehensible. Heather wondered if he just pitied her so much after one of his own kind damn-near destroyed her that he felt responsible for her continued safety. Or, maybe he was just a stalking sleeze-ball. She tended to flounder between the two conclusions, but one thing was certain, he was respecting her boundaries now and she appreciated that.

  After nearly a month, she decided that the best closure she'd get was accepting that the entire ordeal was some bizarre misunderstanding, totally on his part, and he did a few nice things but that didn't make up for the weeks and weeks of discomfort he'd inflicted.

  More time passed, Heather became more comfortable with her new job, and she very nearly forgot about that Yautja. The only time she remembered him were on cold days when her hip would ache, but it was pleasantly warm out on the afternoon she came in for her shift and found Yagon agitated with his antennae twitching so fast one might expect them to fly off his head. Heather looked around, hoping that the cleaning she couldn't finish the night before hadn't upset him. What she found was... Unusual, and she certainly hadn't left the thing there last night.

  It was a skull, from what she wasn't sure, sitting there on the counter by the check out scanner.

  "The Creep is back. This time he left a name with that." Yagon's translator couldn't read the inflections in his speech, but Heather could tell where the translator omitted expletives.

  "W-hat was it? His name?"

  "Stone Fist was the direct translation. I can't get the translator to say the correct pronunciation in his language and he made a scene about it until I threatened to call security. You know what that thing means, don't you?"

  Heather nodded, she knew what it meant. Everyone did. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the empty sockets of the skull. It was as if it were staring through her being.

  "I can still file that report, Heather," Yagon offered again.

  "Don't, I mean... As long as I don't take it, then nothing happens. Right?"

  "As far as I'm aware? I think that's how it works."

  If Heather didn't touch it, he wouldn't come back. If she took it home, he'd follow her home because accepting an offering like that was an act of giving permission to pursue courtship.

  Working with that lifeless skull watching her was eerie to say the least. She covered it with her hat midway through her shift so she didn't have to look at it. At the end of her shift as she fiddled with the patterned key to lock up before she left, she considered the skull one last time. No, She wasn't taking it, but she'd leave a note. Two notes actually, one to ask Stone Fist if he would consider an actual conversation before anything else, and a second note to apologize to Yagon for asking him to speak with Stone Fist again.

To Be Continued?

[unokins]

No Truth Left - part 7

CW: Spiders

Link to Archive

Chie waited, hands clenched tightly into fists. What did Maverick know? She needed help, and here it came. Her stomach churned as the engine grew louder. The smell of gasoline cut through the air. The waters churned at the newcomer’s intrusion, slapping the stone as Maverick screamed at her.

The howling Deep Ones pierced Chie’s mind, and she lost her nerve. One step back. The dam broke and Chie dashed for cover.

Finally! Maverick’s annoyance was scratching at her more than his relief. Hide in the gold again.

She glanced at the piles. Would a disturbed gold pile draw attention to her? “No,” Chie whispered. “Not enough time.”

Whose fault is that?

Shut up, Chie thought. She turned in a slow circle - where could she hide? Where could she hide? - and gasped. The nose of the boat was passing the beached ship. She stepped to her left, keeping herself hidden from the newcomer with the shadow of the Sumatra Queen. The gaping hole in its body loomed in front of Chie, yawning black. Gritting her teeth, Chie stepped in and darkness engulfed her. Wood creaked its protest, but it held her weight. 

Chie blinked as her eyes adjusted to the cargo hold. Several rotting wooden beams ran from floor to ceiling, and stacks of old crates covered most of the floor. Portholes were cut into the side at regular intervals, allowing weak rays of light to shine through, illuminating dust motes and spiderwebs. Chie crept to the side, kneeling into the shadows. 

The boat’s engine cut off, and the driver shuffled around. Pulling up, Maverick said at a soft thunk. Probably tying off and-

Booted feet met stone. The person’s gait was unhurried as he walked down the stone dock. A pause. 

“Hello?” His call echoed through the cavern. Chie clamped her hand over her mouth and breathed as shallowly as possible. More footsteps. A click. 

The man ululated and made sounds no human throat should have been capable of. It cut through Chie’s brain like a knife, and the cargo hold swayed in front of her. 

Blood dripped down her nose and fell from her chin. Chie moaned quietly. She reached for the wall to brace herself, and her hand sunk into something soft. Light tickling crawled up her arm and Chie gasped, ripping her hand from the wall. The softness stuck to her.

Holding her arm up to the dim light of the port holes, she saw a fist-sized wad of white thread around her hand and thousands of black motes erupting from it, scuttling up her. Chie slapped at her arm, screaming.

Or she tried too. Her body froze in place and the cry stuck in her throat. Maverick’s will pushed against hers. The spiders covered her arm like a living glove, and slowly moved in tickling, shuddering movements.

You are not screaming, Maverick hissed. You are not moving. They’ll find us and then all this would be for nothing.

Chie’s body shook. Maverick was unrelenting, and she could only stand there as the spiders scurried over her flesh.

I don’t want to be here, Chie thought, repeating the words over and over again as if that would somehow whisk her away. No more spiders, no more fish monsters. Just her hiding under her giant comforter with her dozen or so kitty plushies.

Wet slaps and grunts answered the man’s strange cry. Chie was sure they had a conversation together, but it wasn’t in any language she recognized. The words weren’t words, and she couldn’t picture how the speakers’ lips could move to make those sounds. Was the person in the boat even human?

They said my name, Maverick cut in. He was silent for a moment, and Chie got the impression that he was trying to mouth the words. Coming towards Innsmouth, but never showed up. He was quiet again. Frustration and anger radiated through Chie. God damn it, you didn’t turn off the fucking light!

Chie couldn’t answer him, even if she wanted to. Spiders crawled down her back now, their legs pricking like nails over her skin. Maverick kept the stranglehold on her body, and Chie couldn’t even shift her shoulders to brush them against her shirt. The ache in her muscles burned.

“Hey, girl!” The man yelled. “I know you’re here. I know you must be pretty scared. Come on out. I’ll give you a lift back to town, and make sure you’re situated all proper.” 

Absolutely the fuck not. 

After several long moments of silence, the man sighed. “We’ll find you.” He spoke as if it was an inevitability, and the sounds of his heavy boots hit the stone, accompanied by wet slaps and throaty hissing. The sounds of the search rose through the cavern. 

Chie took a breath. They couldn’t stay still here. It was only a matter of time before they realized where she was hiding and then- what? She died? Something worse? 

I’m giving you back control, Maverick said in a tone that suggested he didn’t like that idea. Go see if there is a way out of this ship, near the back. They won’t expect us to be in the water, and that’ll give us a chance to steal his boat.

Chie felt her throat muscles loosen, and then contract again.

Don’t scream. Don’t raise your voice. Maverick warned as he let them go again.

“Won’t they chase us?” Chie asked, keeping her voice to a harsh whisper.

It’s a motorboat, Chie. We should be quick enough. Now go.

With that, her body was hers again. Immediately, Chie brushed at her arms, throwing the spider’s egg sac to the ground. She scraped her back against a crate, imagining their little bodies squishing into nothing.

Stop wasting time, Maverick said boredly. Go!

Chie wanted to argue. Wanted to snap back at him and remind him that it was his fault she was here, that she almost died multiple times today, and maybe, just maybe, she wanted to not be covered in fucking spiders. 

Pretending she didn’t feel the survivors’ scuttling bodies, Chie continued slowly through the cargo hold. The musty air was heavier the deeper she went, full of brine and rot. A protruding nail scraped against her shoe, and she gritted her teeth against a yelp. Nothing was in here with her. 

Against the back wall of the cargo hold was a staircase and a doorway to another room. As Chie stepped through the doorway, her foot hit water. It rose to her ankles and she slowly made her way further in. A thin beam of light gave her just enough to see a desk against the wall to her left and a rotten chest against the right wall. The back wall had deteriorated, and bits of broken boards hung loosely against the weak ebb and flow of the water. 

There’s our ticket out of here, Maverick said, his anticipation thrumming.

Chie paused as she walked over to their exit. Her eyes lingered on the desk, where an old book lay. Its pages were damp and yellowed with the passing of time, but the messy scrawl written on them was still visible. Chie pulled her backpack open and searched through it, ignoring the vibrating impatience from Maverick. There, tucked away in a little poach, was a ziplock bag. Chie hurriedly slipped the book inside and sealed it.

Are we done? 

Scoffing, Chie rolled her eyes and continued. She reached the back wall and fumbled around until she found the break in the wood. Muted light glistened through the black waters. 

But she couldn’t bring herself to dive into the water. The rock walls of the tunnel pressed against her, squeezing, choking, drowning. She’d die, she’d-

Chie.

Water in her nose, her mouth, her lungs- Cold burning, blackness dragging her-

Chie!

“I can’t do it,” she whispered. Her hands trembled, shivers wracking her body. “I- I just-” Why couldn’t she be home? Soft blankets, soft toys, lazy weekend mornings, warm rice porridge-

You can do it. You have to.

“I almost died. I… I- I can’t just.” She was frozen.

This isn’t the tunnel again, Maverick said harshly. We know there’s open water out there, and the Deep Ones are searching for us in the cave. But they won’t focus there for long. You need to move. Take a deep breath. 

Chie breathed deep, and let it out. She took a step deeper in the water. Another breath, another trembling step. The spiders scurried away from the water, up her waist, up her chest, her shoulders. Chie gritted her teeth as they climbed over her cheeks, nose, and ears.

Good. You’re- You’re doing good. The encouragement felt awkward. Chie was sure Maverick wasn’t used to saying things like this. One more deep breath, and hold it.

Chie took another breath, feeling Maverick working together with her. Her lungs filled more than she thought were capable of, and she ducked under. Pushing herself against the floor, Chie glided through the hole. She braced herself against the ship’s outer wall and swam up to the surface. Muted panic sat on her chest. The blackness, the familiar burning in her lungs-

You’re there!

Chie’s gasp of air was muted as Maverick seized her throat muscles. She coughed at the conflicting signals, and Maverick seized on that, too, forcibly silencing her. But she did it! She got out of the ship and-

More gurgles, far off. Another screech, more ululations. 

Gotta keep moving. Chie pushed herself from the Sumatra Queen, submerging herself up to her nose as she went. No signs of return from the man or the Deep Ones, even as she pulled herself from the water with a quiet splash. Chie bit her lip, tasting salty water.

The two steps it took to cross the width of the dock felt like a mile. Chie eased herself into the boat. Her shaking foot almost slipped, and her cold-stiff hands fumbled with the rope. “Untie us and get us out of here,” she whispered. Maverick responded fast, unknotting it with ease, pushing them away, and revving the engine. It answered them with a croaking groan, and sputtered to life. Maverick grabbed the little bar hanging off the engine, and directed the boat to open water.

Clouds hung heavy in the sky, their opaque grey reflecting the burning reds and burnt oranges of sunset. Had she really spent all day on this island? She glanced behind her, and, as the boat turned, caught a glimpse of the man, and the rage contorting his face. Her breath caught in her throat.

I saw him, too, Maverick said, puttering the boat onward. We need to go.

Chie turned her gaze onward. The lights of Innsmouth reflected dimly against the barren landscape. Food, shelter, warmth. She had enough money for a cheap motel and shitty fast food. But if the people of Innsmouth really worshipped the Deep Ones, how long would it take before they realized what the outsider had done? While the bracelets might help, her clothes and skin still bore the muted stains of the Deep One’s blood, washed away by the water.

We should head towards the river, there, Maverick said, twitching Chie’s head to their left. The mouth of a river met the ocean, skirting around the town and to the mainland. While they would avoid meeting anyone, what other dangers lurked in the swampy lands surrounding Innsmouth? Could Chie survive with what tools they had? She shivered in the early fall air. 

>Go to Innsmouth >Go to the Wilderness --- Author’s Note: This is the end of Chapter? Section? Arc? 1! I’ll spend some time plotting the next bit, revising this first bit, and working on some other projects I have. Thank you everyone who is reading and voting! It means a lot to get nice tags and see people interact with my stuff. 

[chenziee]

Leaves and Pumpkin Spice

[Read on AO3 or under the cut]

Super late entry for @lawlu-week‘s 10 Days of Lawlu Day 7: Falling Leaves Sorry for that, life became a real bitch right after the event ended :(

Ship: Law/Luffy Rating: Teen and Up Words: 2730 Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Humor, Fluff and Humor, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Idiots in Love, college student luffy, not that that matters, surgeon law, Established Relationship

Summary: Walking through the park with two coffees in hand, Luffy mourned the fact that he didn't have any time to appreciate the beauty of the autumn leaves or to play in the meticulously raked piles. But he had only 30 minutes and he wasn't about to waste them.

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As he stood in line at his favourite coffee shop, Luffy couldn't help but tap his foot impatiently. Even though there were only two people in front of him, it felt like it was taking forever with the man at the register taking his sweet time with making up his mind on what to order. Luffy would never understand why some people insisted on holding everyone else up instead of waiting to queue until after they knew what they were getting. He hated waiting; hated having to stand in place with nothing to do except listening to people ask stupid questions like if a cappuccino had milk in it. And he especially hated waiting when he was already running low on time.

Thankfully, once the indecisive idiot moved on, Luffy’s turn came quickly since the girl in front of him was seemingly about as done and ready to run off with her coffee as Luffy was.

“Hey, Luffy. What will you be getting?” Usopp greeted from behind the counter, flashing him a grin which was gladly returned.

Luffy was always happy when one of his friends was working and he would be lying if he said it wasn’t a big part of the reason he loved this coffee shop so much. The delicious food and coffee and its close proximity to their college was really just a bonus.

Doing his best to avoid looking at the pastry case next to him, Luffy easily recited his order, “One large pumpkin spice latte with an extra shot of espresso and one large black coffee,”

Usopp nodded, writing his order and names down on the coffee cups before handing them over to the barista on duty. “You going to the hospital?” he asked as he took Luffy’s credit card.

“Yep! I just hope I make it, I’m running a bit late,” Luffy replied with a pout. Stupid indecisive customers. Never mind he had been too busy watching anime to keep track of the time and left late in the first place. No one had to know that, though.

“You better run then,” Usopp said with a smirk. “Stop by on the way back, I’ll save you a quiche.”

Luffy gasped. He had to stop himself from shouting as a wave of excitement washed over him. “Sanji’s?” he asked, nearly drooling at the idea of his friend’s cooking.

Usopp laughed, handing Luffy his credit card back. “Yes. But that’s only if you don’t get killed for being late.”

“Oh shit. Right.” Luffy slapped both his cheeks to bring himself back to reality. Usopp was right, after all; he really didn’t have the time to daydream about food. No matter how tasty it had to be and how good it would smell and how it would melt in his mouth and—

“Oi, Luffy,” Usopp said as he smacked him over the head with his sharpie. “You’re drooling.”

Luffy blinked, then shook his head to clear it a bit. Damn Usopp for distracting him with food. Putting his credit card away, he thanked his long nosed friend before moving over to the end of the counter to wait for his coffees. It only took a minute for them both to be done, the pink haired girl—Luffy was pretty sure her name was Rebecca, a freshman in their college—working blissfully fast. Luffy happily grabbed both cups as soon as they were presented to him and ran off, only pausing to grin and nod at Usopp who called after him, asking him to say hi to his doctor.

The walk to the university hospital from the coffee shop was short, only about ten minutes away, but as he glanced at his watch, Luffy knew he would be cutting it close. Picking up the pace, he quickly crossed the street to enter the city park, weaving his way through the trees and people taking casual strolls while enjoying the view of beautifully coloured leaves at a painfully slow pace.

The third time Luffy nearly crashed into a laughing child or a dog happily chasing said child, he cursed internally. He really didn't have the time for this. He needed to take the shortest route to the other side of the park without any distractions or delays. No matter how pretty the trees coloured with bright red and yellow looked or how much fun playing in the piles of raked up, already fallen leaves would be. He didn't have the luxury to walk at a slow pace like the other adults, or to run and jump around like the children. No matter how much the laughter of kids and happy barks of dogs accompanied by the telltale rustling of the dead leaves getting kicked and thrown all over was making him smile and tempting him to join in.

But he only had 30 precious minutes and coffees that were getting colder by the minute in the crisp autumn air. He had no time to play today.

—————

When Luffy finally made it to the little grassy area in front of the hospital, he quickly scanned all the benches until his eyes caught the white lab coat and the contrasting black, short hair. He grinned, deciding not to call out to the doctor; instead, he made his way towards him slowly and quietly. As he walked, he took a moment to appreciate the wide shoulders and long neck. It was almost as if he was trying to show off how handsome he was with the way he was sitting there. Not that he was doing anything special—or was the type to do these things on purpose—but Luffy still thought looking so good like that should be illegal.

He might have been a little bit biased though. After all, he thought his boyfriend was always handsome, even after several long shifts at the hospital when he was sporting panda eyes worse than actual pandas and hair messier than Luffy’s own, sitting huddled into a blanket while nursing his eighth cup of coffee of the day and throwing glares at everyone. Whenever someone came over while Law was like that, they would all note how awful Law looked before they’d send him to sleep but Luffy never understood that. Even dead tired Law was so handsome it hurt and Luffy was pretty sure it was impossible for him to look awful. Everyone else was just blind.

Luffy sighed; what was he getting so worked up for anyway? It didn’t matter what anyone else thought. Law was his and he was handsome and funny and smart and Luffy loved him and that was all that really mattered, wasn’t it?

Grinning to himself, Luffy took the last few, quiet steps that separated them, standing directly behind his boyfriend and raising one of the coffee cups in his hands up to hover above Law’s head. Luckily, the man seemed to be too busy texting Bepo to notice how dangerously close he was to getting the shit scared out of him and Luffy had trouble keeping his laughter inside and ruining everything.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly let the cup go down—

“Don’t even think about it.”

Luffy groaned. Of course. Of course Law could somehow feel his presence and read his damn mind. He didn’t even look up from his phone, this asshole. As his last act of defiance, Luffy let the bottom of the cup hit Law in the head a little harder than strictly necessary, earning himself an annoyed ‘Hey!’ which he decided to ignore. Instead, he simply walked around the bench to drop down next to Law, a pout on his lips as he looked at his boyfriend.

“You’re no fun,” he complained.

Law smirked, making a show of looking at his phone before he shot back, “And you’re late.”

Luffy cringed, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, there was a slow idiot at the coffee shop. Usopp says hi, by the way.”

“Uh-huh,” Law hummed slowly, his smirk widening as he reached up to touch Luffy’s hair, pulling out a dead leaf that somehow got tangled in it a second later. “Sure,” he added, twirling the leaf in between his fingers.

Luffy’s eyes widened. “That—” he paused, wrecking his brain for any plausible explanation— “must have fallen on me when I was walking through the park.”

Law raised an eyebrow at that, reaching out once more, this time towards Luffy’s collar bone. “I guess this one just so happened to fall and get stuck under your jacket, then?” he asked casually as he pulled out another leaf.

Just how many of these was Luffy carrying around in weird places? And he only jumped into a pile of them once.

Slowly raising his eyes from the two leaves in Law’s hand to look at the man himself, Luffy gave him the widest, brightest smile he could muster and simply announced, “Yep!”

There was a beat of silence before Law started laughing, tossing the leaves away and giving Luffy a look that was so soft and so full of amusement that Luffy couldn’t help but feel happy that he was able to put that expression there. That he could break the resting bitch face Law was constantly accused of having.

“Well, to be fair, I only just got here myself. A check up ran late,” Law said, gesturing to the coffees in Luffy’s hands.

“Don’t tease me then, asshole,” Luffy grumbled but immediately checked which cup was which before he handed the right one over.

Law accepted the now-lukewarm drink gratefully, then looked at Luffy with that damned smirk again. “Sorry,” he simply said. 

He didn’t sound sorry at all.

Luffy huffed but before he could complain about how mean Law was to his quality caffeine provider, Law leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Luffy’s lips, breathing a quiet ‘thank you’ as soon as they parted. Now, that was just unfair; how was Luffy supposed to sulk when Law went and did something like this?

Oh well.

“You’re welcome,” Luffy said with a grin, raising his own cup to his lips and humming appreciatively. That place really was the best, even without the fact Sanji did most of their cooking; the coffee was absolutely delicious as always.

“What’s this?” Law asked a moment later, voice full of… something.

Luffy blinked, tilting his head to the side in confusion at the way Law was staring at his coffee. “Pumpkin spice latte?” he tried, unsure why Law needed to hear it. Luffy could smell the distinct aroma of it the entire time he was carrying it.

Law looked at Luffy with something that was probably supposed to be a glare but to Luffy it only looked like he was trying to hide his embarrassment. “You know I always get it black,” he complained a second later and Luffy couldn’t stop the snicker that forced its way past his lips.

Law was seriously so cute.

“Torao, how long have we been together? I’m pretty sure you can stop pretending to like it black just for the aesthetic of it at this point,” Luffy stated matter-of-factly as he took great care to take a long, taunting sip of his own black coffee.

Luffy was pretty sure if Law was wearing his favourite hat, he would be pulling it down to hide his blush right then and he couldn’t stop smiling. Seriously, how was this man real? So handsome and sexy, unashamed and confident in everything he did, yet absolutely adorable.

Luffy was so damn lucky.

Law often disagreed with him on that point but for all his smarts, Law was often wrong. Always wrong when it came to whether or not he deserved Luffy. But Luffy didn’t mind; he would tell his Torao over and over, as many times as he needed to hear it.

Shuffling over a little, Luffy leaned against Law’s side. Law automatically threw his arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer as they sat in silence for a little while, simply enjoying their coffees and each other’s presence. They didn't have much time, after all. Law would have to go back to work soon and then they wouldn’t be able to see each other until late evening when he would finally get home. Luffy couldn’t wait for tomorrow when they were both free and could lazy around in their bed—or possibly on the couch watching movies if they were feeling adventurous—all damn day with no distractions.

Distractions like the nurse who was currently running towards them and calling Law’s name like he was a middle schooler skipping class and they both groaned. So much for their 30 minutes. “Doctor Trafalgar, you need to come back, there’s a patient—”

“Are they dying right this minute?” Law asked, voice flat, and Luffy had to bite his bottom lip to keep himself from snorting.

The nurse looked taken aback, blinking a few times before she slowly replied, “Well, no, but—”

“Then they can wait five minutes,” Law said firmly, sending the now positively scandalized nurse off.

Luffy waited until she was out of earshot before he started laughing. “Is she new?” he asked, glancing up at Law to watch his expression go from annoyed to slightly amused.

“Yeah, transferred last week or something. Can’t get used to me not giving a fuck,” he said, waving the hand he had around Luffy’s shoulders dismissively. “Also keeps glaring at my tats.”

“God forbid the genius Surgeon of Death has a tattoo or ten.” Luffy nodded solemnly, making Law chuckle.

“Exactly,” Law agreed before rolling his eyes as he continued. “I’m also told she’s extra pissed off because I have a boyfriend and won’t date her.”

Luffy gasped, putting his hand over his heart dramatically. “You have a boyfriend? And here I was, thinking I had a chance!”

“He doesn’t have to know,” Law said, his tone so over-the-top seductive that Luffy burst out laughing.

“You’re a terrible man, Doctor Torao,” Luffy scolded, doing his best to keep the laughter out of his voice and failing terribly.

Law huffed, shoving Luffy away from himself half-heartedly before tilting his head back to drain his cup of the last drops of coffee. “I can’t believe you keep calling me Torao even in situations like this,” he said, giving Luffy a disappointed look. Probably because Luffy ruined the game by using his nickname but like hell could Luffy be bothered to say his full name.

“It’s not my fault your surname is so stupid,” he replied, sticking his tongue out at Law. “Besides, you keep calling me Straw Hat, too. I’m half-convinced you don’t know even a part of my name.”

“Sure, Straw Hat-ya, whatever you say,” Law teased and Luffy was tempted to throw something at him. Too bad there was still some coffee in his cup.

“You’re an asshole. Go off to save some lives or whatever,” Luffy muttered, his efforts to sound upset sadly betrayed by the wide smile that he couldn’t wipe off of his face.

Law chuckled, finally standing up and stretching, giving Luffy a nice view of his back once more. Now, that had to be on purpose. Not that Luffy was complaining. “I’m going then, since you hate spending time with me so much,” he said off-handedly, turning around to glance at Luffy who only rolled his eyes.

“Yep. That’s why I came all the way here with your stupid latte,” Luffy agreed as he took Law’s empty cup to throw out later.

Luffy looked up when he felt warm fingers brush his cheek. Law was standing above him, tilting his face up more and Luffy saw no reason to not oblige. Leaning up into the soft kiss, one that tasted of coffee and pumpkin spice, Luffy couldn’t help but melt into the touch. Law’s hand on his cheek was warm and soft, his lips slightly chapped but so very sweet, smiling against Luffy’s own, and Luffy wished he could keep him right there, next to him forever.

Stupid people who just had to be dying and in need of his asshole of a genius surgeon.

But well, Law loved his work, as much as he griped and complained about it, and as long as he was happy, so was Luffy. Didn’t mean he didn’t want to steal him for himself once in a while though.

“Good thing you hate me so much, then,” Law mumbled against Luffy’s lips when they pulled away from each other minutely.

Luffy grinned. “Hate you so much I could die.”

“Good,” Law nodded, pressing one last kiss to Luffy’s lips. “See you later, Luffy.”

Luffy laughed at the deliberate use of his name. As if he needed to hear it to know Law hated him about as much as he hated Law.

Quickly grabbing the hand that was sliding off his cheek, Luffy briefly kissed the small image of a straw hat on Law’s inner wrist—a tattoo that matched the little heart that Luffy carried in the same place—before letting go.

“See you later, Torao.”

[incidentreport31]

Episode Three: Gather raw meat of any kind, red preferred, human is fine TRANSCRIPT

(You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts.)

Recorder clicks on.

SFX: papers shuffling as Val decides on an account to focus on for the day.

ARCHIVIST:

(humming Under My Skin by Jukebox the Ghost for a few moments as they decide) Which one for today, then? Christ, this place is a mess.

[they stop as they pick up one covered in grime]

ARCHIVIST CONT.:

What in god’s name? What’s all over this one… (they scoff) Great, Val. You’re asking the damn recorder questions now.

[beat, then to the recorder]

Although I suppose you’re good enough company even if you can’t answer… (fondly) aren’t you?

[an awkward beat, a little too long]

(they clear their throat) I suppose I’ll be getting this one over with…

[SFX: shuffle of paper as they pick it up]

Certainly seems the most interesting given the…

[SFX: another shuffle as they flip it back and forth and take it in]

-residue… on it. (they sniff) God, the smell of it. Almost like rotten meat.

(they shudder)

(sighing) Right. Best get right into it… (muttering) it’ll be over sooner.

For the consideration of their parents: Bryn Fischer’s retelling of their time traveling alongside their road bike expedition through Massachusetts and- Dear Lord- a - what does this mean- a… a meat rain? (they sigh, exasperated) Yes, a “meat rain” that they came upon while driving.It seems Mx. Fischer is requesting their parents to pay fully for their next vacation… I’ve said it before, but (sighs) Rich People. Surprisingly, though, this account does seem to have a date written in: July 21, 2001. Regardless of my disbelief in the fact that the previous Archivist finally did something competent, their account begins as such:

[ACCOUNT STARTS]

I used to drive support for my parents’ long distance bike rides. They used to go out for anywhere from 90 to 200 miles a day with only a few stops in small towns where they could meet me at the car and grab new waters before heading right back out. They’re big bike geeks and I was the one person they’d always had at their disposal for the longer trips. Once I turned sixteen and properly had a driver’s license, it seemed to occur to them that they didn’t really have to ask their other long-distance riding friends to drive alongside them. Instead, they turned to me to make sure they were safe and sound on their excursions. Which was honestly fine for a while! I mean, when I’d first gotten the freedom of driving, it felt like such a treat to go on these trips and be able to just drive for hours and hours with someone else paying for my gas. And beyond that, it was nice to see everything out on the roads. I always found something good on those days where my parents were tirelessly trekking across the state highways. I loved seeing things I’d never seen before, whether it was the weird trinkets at rest stops or patches of snow hiding under dense forests I’d never seen before. I loved the exploring of it, but if I’m being honest, the thing that really amazed me was my parents. The dedication it took to willingly submit yourself to that much physical exertion with nothing but the few waters they could carry on their bikes between our meeting spots… Well it wasn’t something they’d passed down to me, that’s for sure.

[beat]

But, that’s all to say that after a while of driving for them, it eventually lost its charm. They eventually found a route they loved above all others and decided that they were going to make it their annual ride. As I’m sure you can tell, the whole “seeing new places and exploring” thing went away pretty quickly a few trips in. I was a stupid teenager, you know, and started griping about it to them two years in when they decided the perfect time for their next ride was over the weekend that my eighteenth birthday fell on.

ARCHIVIST:

Sometimes, Bryn, parents don’t have an ounce of self-awareness, I’ll give you that much, but this is getting past the point of exposition and I’d suggest you get to the point lest you sound like a writer who got to write in more background details than usual because this is a two-part episode.

[ACCOUNT]

After that, well I decided they could get their friends who actually gave a damn to go along with them. And even then, I was going away to college in Boston soon, so they’d have to stop relying on me eventually, so it was as good a time as any.

[beat]

Well, that’s my rambling exposition for you, I suppose.

ARCHIVIST:

Thank God.

[ACCOUNT]

But of course, by my sophomore year in university I was growing away from my parents and our calls had become less frequent. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed them. So when they called me and briefly mentioned they’d tired of their old route and would be taking on a new ride that summer, namely one that would loop right by me in Boston, I jumped at the chance, telling them to please not bother any of their friends with the trouble of driving and to let me come along. They were thrilled, of course. It had been a while since I’d willingly gone with them on their trips and they agreed without a second thought, inviting me to stay at their hotel with them like old times. I’ll spare you the details of the trip as a whole, I suppose. It was 119 miles along Wachusett mountain and there was a lot to look at. I mean I could go on and on about the sights I saw and the nostalgia that bloomed in my chest when I remembered the first few drives I’d taken with them.

ARCHIVIST:

(mocking) Heaven forbid you go on a tangent.

[ACCOUNT]

The important thing is the fact that, although I was so sure I’d checked all the maintenance lights off beforehand, by some twisted turn of fate, the lights on my dashboard flicked off, and stopped functioning altogether. It would have been fine, I mean it was in broad daylight still, but without a working speedometer, I was screwed. Now, my first thought was rage, of course, quickly followed by worry about my parents. I was lucky enough to have broken down where there was still cell service and to have my father pick up when I called, the two of them having momentarily paused to sight see. He assured me that it was okay. They’d be riding through where my car had stopped in about an hour and would be able to refuel their waters and snacks, but that they were going strong and should be fine to continue the ride. He told me just to call Triple A and make sure to get myself back to the hotel we were staying at safely and to leave the waters and things by a tree if by some miracle my car was fixed before they got to me. I tried to stay calm and called for the repair guy, who informed me he wouldn’t be there for about an hour and a half which was… just perfect.

ARCHIVIST:

Now I genuinely cannot tell if this is sarcasm or not as it’s written down so it’s anyone’s guess really.

[ACCOUNT]

I thought for a while and decided it would be fine if I walked around the nearby woods for a little while. Like I said, I really did love the exploring aspects of these trips and I figured that if I would be stuck here for a while, I might as well make the most of it as long as I kept my phone on me and kept track of the time. And honestly? It was some of the best fun I’d had in a while. Staying in the city for college had put my love of nature on hold indefinitely and I was happy to have it, even if for a short time. After a little while of walking around, I found this nice secluded area right on the edge of an open field and took a seat within a bush where the branches grew haphazardly enough that there was a decent sized hollow space for me to rest. I closed my eyes, just enjoying the moment in spite of my circumstances.

[beat]

SFX: Eerie music begins playing.

And… that’s when I heard it. There was this slight whooshing noise followed up by a few wet squelching sounds as whatever seemed to have fallen bounced once or twice along the damp earth.

My eyes snapped open, but as I scanned the forest floor, nothing immediately caught my attention. Everything seemed normal. And then as I was staring open-eyed at the field in front of me, it seemed as though the sky opened up. But… not with rain. Instead of water, there were fleshy colored chunks of all sizes just plummeting down from the sky into the field. They flopped as they hit the ground in a way that was both comical and simultaneously made me afraid I was going to lose the continental breakfast I’d had at the hotel just a few hours earlier. And that’s before I even noticed the smell. In the end, that’s what really made me realize what I was looking at. The smell that permeated the air as the shower continued suddenly clicked in my brain: rotten meat. There was nothing else that could smell so repulsive and sickly as the mass of meat chunks that had begun to collect on the field before me.

[RECORD SCRATCH]

ARCHIVIST:

What.

[beat]

[ANOTHER BEAT]

(they clear their throat) Right.(somewhat shakily) Moving on then.

[ACCOUNT]

By now, I was holding my hands clasped to my mouth, trying not to panic and furthermore hoping that the meat shower would stay central to that one area. Honestly I didn’t know if I would be able to handle any of it coming near me and I was thankful for every second it didn’t. It went on like that for several minutes through which I finally resolved to keep my eyes firmly shut.

[beat]

And then all of a sudden, the wet flopping sound ceased. For a moment, I could almost believe I imagined it, with my eyelids still pressed together. And yet, the smell still hung in the air. I slowly opened my eyes, hoping not to see what I deep down knew I would. What had once been a gorgeous fertile field full of lush grass and the types of wildflowers that would have been classified as weeds by those without any sense-

ARCHIVIST:

You mean botanists who likely have PHD’s? Hmm. I see.

[ACCOUNT]

Well, it had been turned into a literal hellscape. Not only was the meat layered on itself in clumps of already rotting material slowly heating up in the mid-day sun- which yes is as nasty as it sounds- but even the areas where the meat hadn’t settled were covered in that kind of slimy residue that comes off when you pat pre-packaged meats dry before you cook them. Pretty awful in every sense of the word.

[beat]

I sat on the ground for a few more minutes hidden safely within my bush before I realized that it had probably been about forty-five minutes since I called the Triple A man and figured now was a good a time as any to try getting back to my car, especially since I wasn’t keen to get caught up in any second round of meat rain.

SFX: Eerie music starts playing.

Unfortunately for me, the moment I decided this was exactly the moment the man and little girl walked out into the field. They came in from exactly the opposite side from where I was attempting to stand up, so of course they saw the bush shudder even with the cover it gave me. I hoped against everything that they would pass it off as an animal, perhaps drawn towards the display looking for dinner, and it seemed that, even standing up as I was, I was lucky enough to scrape by on that front.

I guess you’ll be wanting a description of them, yeah? The man was a little older, maybe in his late thirties and seemed positively pleased to be walking through the field of gristle and gore. At the very least, his smile beamed as he passed his eyes back and forth across the field. The girl next to him seemed to be so young, a toddler: maybe five at the oldest? I don’t know, I’ve never been good at discerning children’s ages. But young as she was, she didn’t seem put off by the scene around her in the slightest, skipping along next to the man with her hand swinging along in his.

I wish I knew what happened next. You ever have one of those moments where you suddenly realize you’ve been holding your breath? That’s the only thing I can chalk it up to I guess. Maybe it was the terrifying notion of them noticing me any further, a freeze fear response, or just subconsciously trying to keep the smell out of my nostrils, but no matter the reason, I realized I hadn’t taken a breath in far too long a few moments too late and I fell forward into the bush.

[beat]

Loudly. Loud enough that when I came to my senses a second or two later, halfway fallen out of the bush where they could see me clear as day, I could see both of them staring at me with their heads cocked to the side. As frightened as I was, though, I remember clearly that the two of them shared the same calm, kind face, the pleasant demeanor dimmed only by their surroundings. And then, with my head still cloudy, I heard him call out to me.

“Are you alright over there?” And that was the moment I knew that-

[SFX: paper being turned over frantically and then a beat]

ARCHIVIST:

(frustrated) Hm. It seems that the account ends there if I’m not mistaken. Though it seems the story does not. I suppose maybe there’s another sheet around here with the rest of the story, although how I’m going to find it in this mess I can only guess. (muttering) Guess I’ll just have to keep a look out for another paper coated in this grime, which I am now unfortunately being led to believe is meat… juice.

Either way, I’m afraid that with the few details I’ve been given so far I cannot confirm anything about this case one way or another. I would love to dismiss it right off the bat and write off the… grime on this paper as a practical joke, but until further research is done or I get a hold of the rest of this story, I’m afraid I can do no such thing. (a long, drawn out sigh)

[SFX: the listeners become aware of the sound of a camcorder whirring at some point in this closing as Chris approaches]

[As Chris begins, the Archivist yelps in surprise, maybe a little desk clatter]

CHRIS:

Do you think you could do another take real quick? Maybe up the acting a bit during the meat rain, really sell the emotion?

ARCHIVIST:

Bloody hell—who are you?

CHRIS:

Oh, sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you.(then, trying to be cryptic, but she’s too over-the-top for it to be scary) Or did I?

ARCHIVIST:

(confused) You—how long have you been in here?

CHRIS:

Uh. The whole time? I thought you’d say something to me eventually, but you were really lost in the sauce there for a bit.(trying to be funny) Or, lost in the meat juice, I guess. (she giggles at her own joke.)

ARCHIVIST:

Well, my sincerest apologies, but you weren’t supposed to be in here in the first place. Who are you? Is—is that a camera?

CHRIS:

Oh, I’m Christine Lewis, one of the researchers!

[Val tries to speak, but Chris cuts them off.]

CHRIS:

Just Chris is fine. Anyways, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get some footage for my channel.

ARCHIVIST:

(slowly) Your...channel…

CHRIS:

(she hums.) I’m kind of going for like, a Buzzfeed Unsolved type vibe, you know?

ARCHIVIST:

I’m afraid I don’t know what that is.

CHRIS:

Damn. No culture in these archives. Maybe if you stanned Ryan Bergara, this never would have happened.

ARCHIVIST:

Look, Chris, as...flattered...as I am to be the subject of your web series, I don’t appreciate being recorded without my knowledge. At least I have control over when this girl here turns on and off.

CHRIS:

Did you just call the tape recorder a girl…?

ARCHIVIST:

(overlapping) Not the point. Could you please get back to doing your job, and save the videos for when you’re not at work?

CHRIS:

If you insist. It’s gonna be worth it, though. You’ll get a shoutout in my one million subscribers video, just you wait.(mumbles). Just gotta get to ten subscribers first. Maybe if I was more active on Twitter. Say, do you think we could make an account for the [REDACTED] Institute?

ARCHIVIST:

(they are at their limit) Chris?

CHRIS:

Yeah, boss?

ARCHIVIST:

Get back to work before I tell HR to write this up.

CHRIS:

Yeah, yeah, I’m going.

SFX: Chris begins to walk off.

ARCHIVIST:

(they huff a sigh.) End recording.

Recorder clicks off.

CREDITS:

Incident Report Number 31 is a podcast made by Three-Eyed Frog Presents. This episode, “Gather raw meat of any kind, red preferred, human is fine,” was written, directed, and produced by Val West and Luka Miller with sound design by Luka Miller. This episode featured Val West as the Archivist and Jesse Smith as Chris Lewis. Music is produced by Luka Miller. To keep up with the show and find transcripts, make sure to follow us on our Twitter at @IR31Pod and on tumblr at @IncidentReport31. To contact us with any questions or concerns, feel free to email us at incidentreport31@gmail.com. Thanks for listening.