#the boy is observant is basically what im saying lol

[ofswordsandpens]

someone brought up an funny point along the lines of "was Wise Girl really the best insult Percy could come up lol" and foregoing the fact that Wise Girl is essentially the pg version of Smart Ass, I would argue that Percy calling her this was actually the perfect dig he could have used precisely because he didn't come up with it. Percy did not start the nickname Wise Girl. Clarisse is actually the first person we see use it, implying that either she was the one to make it up, or that it's just the chosen insult for Annabeth used around the camp by whoever. So Percy hears this nickname used once in passing, immediately throws it back at Annabeth when she's trying to get a bit of a dig in, and then Annabeth immediately flushes in response, letting us know that Wise Girl did get under her skin on some level, while Seaweed Brain didn't quite get under his. So not only did Percy match her energy, he definitely won that little battle lmao.

the first time Percy and Annabeth use their nicknames on each other it is genuine teasing but what's really funny about it is that Annabeth calls him Seaweed Brain first and he literally has no thought or opinion on it like it does not phase him in the slightest but when he calls her Wise Girl in return she immediately blushes... like girl come on keep your cool

[magewritesstories]

obsessed w ur gilmore girls EVERYTHING, would love some more logan whenever ur feeling up to it 💖 (even tho im a jess girlie at heart)

[ ʟᴏɢᴀɴ ʜᴜɴᴛᴢʙᴇʀɢᴇʀ ] ᴄʟᴀꜱꜱ ᴀꜱꜱɪɢɴᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ

summary: logan is in your business economics class and he absolutly does not work in class—except when you're involved of course ;) TW: none note: i'm also a jess girlie at heart, but im definitly team logan when it comes to rory lol, also i dont know what this is but i hope you enjoy it anyway.

♣ you're pretty much the only reason he even attends this class ♣ he just sits in the back and watches with interest as you participate in class discussions. ♣ if Finn and Colin notice how his seat keeps getting closer to yours every lecture they dont comment on it ♣ speaking of Finn and Colin—they're both little shits (affectionate) ♣ the kind of guys to ask you the most stupid questions, and when you ask them why they even took this class they just shrug and reply, "it sounded fun." ♣ like what about business ec sounded fun to you?? ♣ (in reality they just followed logan)

♣ when the blessed day finally arrives and you ask him if he wants to work on the group assignment together he's over the moon ♣ (he has selective observation skill and ignores the fact that the only reason you asked him was because him, colin and finn basically had you surrounded in terms of seats) ♣ he obviously agrees and you exchange numbers to meet up and work on the project

♣ now, lets get one thing straight, logan does not work ♣ if there is anyway this man can slack off and get a passing grade without doing anything he will do it ♣ but now its you and there's no way he's making a bad impression by makign you do all the work (he will tell colin and finn to make up some stupid excuse to not be there (they have an entire book on them))

♣ you get a consecutive one hour of working in before he suggests that the two of you go get coffee (more than you expected honstly) ♣ he lets you order, pretends to point to something very interesting outside and pays for the food ♣ he also has the most satisfied smirk on his face as you tell him you're gonna pay him back ♣ "suureeee~" ♣ he also memorizes the drink you'd ordered and shows up to the lecture ten mintues before time just to give it to you and make small talk before the professor starts droning on about whatever's on the agenda that day

♣ once the assignement is finished (you and logan did most of the work) you expect to go back to sitting next to him in class for half the lecture and him leaving once he's bored ♣ like it was before ♣ and that does happen. sort of. ♣ except now everytime he leaves, logan sends you a message that afternoon asking for the notes on the lectures (he just wants an excuse to draw you out of your dorm to the nearby coffee stand)

♣ eventually, after he's spent an entire month making up the most ridiculous excuses for meeting up with you ♣ claimed he didn't understand a paragraph once—he was talking about a paragraph of his human recources class (this boy has no clue which book belongs to which subject) ♣ anyway, after a month of ridiculoussness that kinda makes you smile he's succesfully become a part of your everyday life. one day he's bringing you coffee, another he's asking you to meet up with him in the library to study ♣ so now that that part of his plan is successfull he finally asks you out.

♣ when you just smile and say yes, rolling you eyes as you tell him 'it was about damn time' he thinks he's fallen in love with you just a little more.

[rigginsstreet]

What do you think about a deaf billy AU?

where Neil moved his family to the middle of nowhere Indiana because he knows 80s bumfuck nowhere doesn’t have a lot of support for disabled ppl and hates his son (as we all know)

At first billy tries to hide it, he had gotten used to learning how to read lips and make inferences on what people were saying, if he happened to miss something? He’d just brush it off, saying he wasn’t paying attention.

Billy might have a slight deaf voice, Neil probably came along with his “no son of mine” spiel so Billy had to learn how to speak as Neil thought was “normal”.

Steve begins to notice something different about Billy; slowed reaction time, really focusing on people’s faces, etc, and brings it up to Joyce.

Joyce, concerned, waits until the next time Billy is in her store to ask if everything is okay. Billy panics, he thought he was doing perfect, if he doesn’t his dads gonna kill him, so he very quickly excuses himself out of the store.

Maybe some further concerned Steve and Joyce? Teaming up to help out Billy? 🥹

i am into all of this. i wanna say way back in the early days of the fandom there was a deaf!billy fic i read.... or it was steve. or it was neither of them and im thinking of another fandom entirely lmfao anyway!

this would put their little staredown at tinas in a whole new context...honestly it puts a lot of billy scenes in new context that boy loves to look and watch and observe.

i would also like to bring in cali bros argilly and say that argyle and billy learned to sign together back home bc neil surely wasnt going to put billy in classes and surely not learn himself, maybe billy had teachers at school who helped? but argyle wanted to learn too since they were besties and he was really the only person billy could talk to after that. so when the hargroves move to indiana billys on his own again and since he doesnt want to out himself as being deaf and ask if anyone knows how to sign, he just pretends to be aloof and like he doesnt give a shit about what anyone says to him (which isnt like... untrue lol)

if he and max still have a bad relationship in this au maybe she hasnt bothered to learn how to sign either cuz like... why is she gonna need it to talk to billy? they dont talk period

steve calling billys name when hes not looking trying to get his attention and it never working so a lightbulb goes off in his head and he starts writing notes to see if that works and sure enough...

joyce picking up books from the library and learning very basic signs for the next time billy comes into the store. she's just trying to be polite but it still makes billy panicky that someone knows. ooooh if neil and billy come into the store one day and she overhears neil giving billy shit about not listening to him and how he needs to get his shit together etc etc and she immediately decides this man needs to be put down like she is not having it but she also knows theres not a whole lot she can do right now besides make her presence known and get him to back down.

steve helping billy out in the classes they share together and even in the classes they dont he finds a way to get notes from other people without letting them know its for billy, and billys constantly wondering how steve keeps pulling this off but steve wont reveal his secrets. them developing this silent language on the basketball court that makes them unbeatable... many thoughts many thoughts

idk how joyce and steve end up joining forces in all of this but i know they do!

[socialc1imb]

for your forgetten four au, when vio was killed how did they first react? did they suspect murder and try to find a culprit or were they too in shock to be thinking about that? was he still conscious when they got to him and was able to say anything before he died or was he already gone by then? has anyone gone into his room since? will there ever be a chance for him to become himself again?! aghh!!! so many questions!! i still want to know exactly what happened that night!!! who killed him and why!!!!! im obsessed!!! (also wouldnt it be crazy if blue was able to teach redead vio sign language like who knows it might work? maybe?!! or he might be too far gone to really create coherent messages... thats so sad!!! he must be so lonely not being able to talk to them even if his brain doesnt fully work anymore :(!!!

sorry if im being overwhelming!!! im just super invested in this & excited to see more!!!

oh boy, this is going to be a long post, I think! ;3 (no worries, lol, I love the questions!) Also, I'm not going to answer every single one because I wanna cover them in comic form later on, so keep an eye out!

The fact that Vio screamed when he died gave away the fact that someone had done this to him. They probably suspected murder as soon as the realization of what just happened set in, and after doing a little more investigating (seeing the shattered mirror, the glass being used as the weapon etc etc a lot of boring crime scene things), they were able to confirm that he was killed.

Since he was killed, they've been in his room only a handful of times, but since his funeral it's been left mostly untouched. They went in to clean up the glass and make it presentable, but everything else is practically the exact same as Vio left it.

There's nothing saying that Vio will be able to be brought back, but there's also nothing saying he can't. They hold out hope, whatever little of it they have left. They'll try as hard as they can to see if it's even possible.

Vio... is hard to explain. Because, yes, it's him, that's the real Vio who has returned, but he seems to be more of an echo of the real person, doing things here and there reminiscent of when he was alive. It's not that he can't communicate, it's almost as if he just... doesn't need to communicate in the same way as the others. He tends to observe and follow rather than give input. Basically, whether or not Vio is really Vio is up to your interpretation. Maybe it really is him, but maybe he's only a shell of what he once was. It depends on how you read the story.

[rabbityshen]

not sure who this post is for.

i think i just needed a way to get out some of my brainworms about genazo and some of the observations i've made about it as a movie and fandom phenomenon that's big in japan but basically not at all here. it was originally gonna be a pitch post on my Main, Professional writing blog but it came out kind of too.....silly for that. which is why the grammar and capitalization are generally proper and the tone is more formal (and has images). i wrote most of it back in august/september but have edited it so it's relatively current to right now.

it's mostly a bunch of rambling and info tidbits about genazo. cant imagine who would be interested in it, except genazo fans, but then it's also written as if to be read by ppl who don't know what genazo is. again, very confusing post. my bad. if u wanna read it go ahead, but lol (lol).

but if ur like "what's genazo?" well then this the post for you. maybe.

edit: added some more fun images for myself 😊 and some (spoilery) CWs for the movie at the very end

They say honesty is a virtue so I might as well start off by saying that my curiosity about this movie was not sparked by the anniversary productions being made for Shigeru Mizuki’s 100th birthday or through keeping tabs on the latest anime films coming out, but because I saw fanart and I thought the main character, Mizuki, looked hot.

After some sleuthing, I tracked down the source material and was surprised that it was from a movie, Kitaro Tanjo: GeGeGe no Nazo (which I'll shorten to GeNazo), part of the GeGeGe no Kitaro franchise.

If you don’t know of GeGeGe no Kitaro or Shigeru Mizuki, I’ll pause here to give a little bit of background info. Shigeru Mizuki was a mangaka born in 1922, who made manga at the same time alongside other influential artists like Osamu Tezuka (Astro Boy) and Shotaro Ishinomori (Kamen Rider). Mizuki would ultimately become famous for GeGeGe no Kitaro (which I'll shorten to Kitaro from here on out), a manga series following a yokai boy named Kitaro and his adventures. Kitaro is on par with Asto Boy in terms of being a national icon. He’s credited with popularizing yokai stories for the modern masses, his imagery becoming what people would most associate with the classic folklore. Besides the 2023 movie, there was an anime adaptation that aired 2018 - 2020, which was also a 50th anniversary production based off of the first anime adaptation that first aired in 1968.

I had some passing, bare minimum familiarity with Kitaro, as much as anyone who’s liked anime and manga for decades would have, and I had never seen a character from it who looked like Mizuki. Clearly, the movie wasn't a straightforward adaptation, even if it was taking one of the manga chapter titles as its own (“The Birth of Kitaro,” which shows the origins of the eponymous character). Not only that, but the promotional material was fairly bloody and dour, obviously aimed at a more mature audience than the usual child demographic the franchise was geared towards, as with the 2018 Kitaro anime. The character design for Kitaro on the movie poster was very similar though, so I figured they likely shared the same continuity.

(i don't have enough relevant images to adequately disperse throughout this post so im just adding random screenshots of mizuki for enrichment and personal indulgence 🙂)

Since the anime series had been officially licensed and subtitled by Crunchyroll, I assumed the same had been done for the movie but that was not the case. It had been released in Japanese theaters back in November 2023 but as of April 2024 at the time, there was (and still is) nowhere official and legal to watch it with localized English subtitles. I had little interest in Kitaro otherwise so I shrugged and decided I would let my shallow interest taper off. It did not.

Instead it plagued me for months (my friends can testify to this). I can't exactly articulate why; The heart wants what the heart wants I suppose. So I finally caved in and found…other means of watching it. I'm not sure if I expected that to sate the brainworms already festering in my head, but basically the opposite of that happened. Now having context for what I was already seeking out on Twitter, new depths of investment were opened up. And that's when I discovered this movie was quite popular.

Now granted, this is still in relative terms. This was the year that other animated hit films such as The Super Mario Bros. Movie and The Boy and the Heron came out. Even other anime franchise films such as Case Closed: Black Iron Submarine and Spy x Family Code: White were much bigger domestic and international hits from around the same time. However, while GeNazo never reached the status of being the #1 movie in Japan for the week, it was one of the top five grossing movies for four consecutive weeks (and in the top ten for a consecutive 11 weeks), making over two billion yen (~$17 million). It was also selected to be shown at the 2024 Annecy International Animation Film Festival in the Countrechamp category. A new version of the film called the “True Version” (真生版), which contains redone cuts and rerecorded dialogue (but no changes to the narrative), as well as bumps up the rating from PG-12 to R15, was released a few weeks ago.

And when you zoom in closer from a fandom subculture perspective, its popularity is undeniable. The doujinshi made for the GeNazo fandom and sold through the retailer Comic Toranoana is not only numerous, but has dominated the female-targeted section rankings for months (both “All Ages” and “Adults Only”), alongside doujinshi for much more internationally popular series like Jujutsu Kaisen and Slam Dunk. (Another way to compare this, Kitaro has a total of 2500+ listed and Delicious in Dungeon has a little over 40 items listed.) In the 2023 poll for yumejoshi (similar to the concept of “self-shipping” fandom) to pick their favorite characters for the year, the two main characters made it to the top twenty (Gegero at #15 and Mizuki at #9), even though the movie was released quite late into the year. Then in Animage’s annual Anime Grand Prix, GeNazo was voted as the top favorite anime for 2023, with Mizuki and Gegero also voted as the top favorite characters. At COMIC CITY SPARK 19, a popular Tokyo doujinshi event held last week, GeNazo is the third most popular fandom represented (above other fandoms including Haikyu!! and Honkai: Star Rail). Several months ago, a film concert event was held and it must've done more than well enough if they're holding the event again for two days in November.

So obviously, I was very much not the only one infested with brainworms! But in comparison, no one over in English-speaking anime fandom circles knows anything. On Archive of Our Own, there’s a tag for “GeGeGe no Kitaro (Anime)”* that only has under 50 works in English when accounted for the movie’s release. (In comparison, there are over 2,500 works in the tag for “ダンジョン飯 | Dungeon Meshi | Delicious in Dungeon” in English when accounted for the anime’s release. For possibly a more equivalent comparison, there are a little under 200 works in the tag for “Bang Brave Bang Braven (Anime)” a show that did receive an official English translation and was ranked second in the Anime Grand Prix.) Every time I peek into Japanese fandom, I feel like I’m stepping into a parallel universe. The gap is striking.

Anime has never been more accessible to foreigners, specifically Americans. Piracy still reigns supreme in terms of frugal personal finances, but it's less convenient and full of pitfalls, requiring some sophistication in navigating platforms and torrents. As a thirty year old with a full-time job, the low-risk convenience on its own is worth the money of subscription. It’s also easy to think in the age of streaming and simulcast—with plenty of titles getting licensed but then instantly buried under the oversaturation of Content and lackluster efforts at marketing—that we have legal access to everything, or at least everything notable. But similar to this year's cult hit Girls Band Cry (until the official English language translation available through Hoopla and, soon on November 6th, Crunchyroll as well), GeNazo fell through the license cracks. 

I shouldn't be too surprised though. While Kitaro is an iconic series with a deep cultural legacy in Japan, its popularity in the USA is much milder. In my experience, people who do know about Kitaro tend to regard it as a piece of classic manga history rather than engaging art or storytelling in its own right. As an older, episodic children’s series fundamentally focused on traditional Japanese folklore, its potential appeal to international audiences is less universal and it's less likely to be taken seriously by manga fans invested in more serialized storytelling. So it is a shame that this movie isn't licensed and officially localized. Tomohiro Harafuchi, the director of Mizuki Productions, said in an interview at the Annecy Festival that he hoped that screening GeNazo there would “inspire the international audience to discover these universes” since Kitaro is less well known outside of Japan. Especially since it stands out as fairly unique work among the other Kitaro movies, series, and other related media.

At this point, you might be wondering what GeNazo is actually about and what my pitch is for watching it besides Hot Anime Guy.

The version that's short and to the point: A nice horror mystery with some decent fujobait and anti-nationalist themes.

The version with a premise like you're reading the back of a DVD case: Mizuki, a salaryman working for a blood bank during Japan’s postwar era, is tasked with visiting a remote village. He hopes to curry favor with a powerful family whose patriarch has just died, causing a power struggle, as well as find out the secret of the miracle drug that they manufacture. Along the way, he meets a mysterious man searching for his missing wife. Violent, strange deaths begin occurring however, and Mizuki soon finds himself wrapped up in a disturbing conspiracy he never anticipated. Find out the twisted origins of one of Japan’s most beloved characters…

My actual, extremely condensed opinion: A fun 3/5 stars movie that I'm kind of ambivalent about.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” you may be wondering, “You wrote all of this about a movie you rated 3/5 on Letterboxd?” The answer is “yes” and I wish I had a better one.

That'll be for another post though, since I can't discuss it without really getting into spoilers.

Note [possible spoilers]: Content warnings for GeNazo include gore, war trauma flashbacks, non-graphic and referenced incestuous CSA, alcoholism, child death.

[eggbagelz]

OUUUUUUUGH DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING WHEN IT COMES TO THE KILLJOYS.

dr death defying is my fav but the way u jus described motorbaby..... she might take the crown....

okok now i gotta ask- what r ur fav hcs abt any of the killjoys? or what hcs are so stuck in your brain that theyre practically canon to you??? i love ur killjoys sm please i would love to hear you ramble abt them >:]

OH WELL SINCE U ASKED

Actually I've been wanting to talk abt my hcs for a while so THANK U FOR THIS TEE HEE

Anyway! I think like. My interpretations [or hcs i guess] of the 'joys is a lil nonstandard in some ways bc i took the blank slate of their personalities and ran with it GSJSH [so these are all like. Canon to me. Basically. Sorry gerald u never gave ur apocalypse ocs personalities so theyre mine now] basically like. I have some v set hcs on their personalities and main characteristics as a whole

SO!

I like to think that fun ghoul is like. While hes v v chatty and more than a little mischievous hes also EXTREMELY perceptive to the point it's unnerving, and while hes not v good with his own emotions he's fucking insanely good at picking up other people's, as well as like. Tiny details and shit that others wouldn't have noticed. Hes still an idiot tho godbless GKEHSJ. Hes the number one mad gear fanboy. Hes good w explosives but crap with other tech.

Kobra. Ohohohohohohohoooo kobra. Ppl like to hc him as v stoic [which im not implying is a bad hc at all btw!!! Just an observation] but i like to thing hes EXTREMELY emotional and p unpredictable. A v shoot first ask questions later type, and deathly afraid of being percieved as cowardly or weak. Absolutely GARBAGE shot, which is why he has stun gloves. Practically the fucking tech whisperer.Official motorbaby wrangler. Gets astronomical amounts of ass but is terrified of feeling any romantic emotions.Half Japanese, he and poison are fraternal twins!

POISON! Also extremely emotional but has it under sliiightly better control than kobra [lol. "Control." How full's that bottle ur filling ur feelings with now pois?]. Very very good w tactical stuff and planning, likes logic and such. Also v flamboyant and enjoys colour and the life of the zones. Prettiest 'joy in the zones, seriously. Talks a LOT but has absolutely no fucking filter. Extremely sex positive.Abt as emotionally intelligent as a brick. Also half japanese ic the they and kobra being twins thing didnt make it obvious GDJDDJ. Terrified of death but doesnt know it. Romatic feelings for jet are approximately the size of the continent of asia

Jet jet jet jet jet. My sweet girlboy. Lost his entire family in a shootout against bli when he was 14 and now suffers from "i have to keep everyone i love safe at all fucking costs so help me god" disease so bad that its actually a reflex now. Took care of motorbaby the most when she was an infant. Best shot in the zones GODBLESS. Hes got an eye [ha] for beauty and appreciates p much everything the world has to offer as best he can. Trying to be an optimist despite his horrendous anxiety disorder. Spanish is his first language! Doesnt talk much and thinks carefully abt what he says before he says it. Madly in love with poison but has carefully filed that away under "n" for "never touching that ever"

Motorbaby. Stuck halfway between "extremely unchildlike behavior" and being a regular weird little girl. Far too used to violence. LOOOOVES big robots so much her favorite toy is an old mecha action figure ghoul fixed up for her. Impossible not to love, seriously. ADORES her big brothers. High energy but also burns out quickly and has to nap a LOT. Picked up some of the languages the fab four speak aside from english [spanish, italian, and snatches of japanese] but in the manner that means she knows how to swear in four languages. Veeery small

Jet and ghoul are desert boys [tho ghoul wasnt born in the desert and was smuggled out of bat city by his dad when he was a toddler], while kobes and poison are cityboys [escaped when they were both 13]. Jet's the oldest, ghoul's the youngest

I also have some ideas abt zones culture but aside from the talk abt bigotry probably still being rampant in the zones thats smth im saving for my roadtrip au fic tee hee

[cathalbravecog]

Do you have cathal hcs you'd like to share i am starving for anything cathal related help me

he's like an addiction to my brain, it always wants MORE

MUEUEHAHAHAHA I YOUR LOCAL CATHAL CREAUTRE 'ČISLO JEDNA' (NUMBER ONE). SHALL PROVIDE. NOW, THE THING IS, I THINK I'VE SHARED MOST OF THE THINGS I THINK HERE ALREADY....I PREFER OBSERVING AND LETTING THINGS DEVELOP AS THEY GO. THAT'S MY WEIRD THING WITH CERTAIN BLORBOS I DON'T ALWAYS ACTIVELY MAKE STUFF FOR THEM EVEN IF IM SO SOSOOSOSOS MENTALLY ILL FOR THEM. NOW. SILLY GOOGFY OVER FOR NOW. THIS IS VERY LONG. UNDER DA CUT.....................

However. That one comic writing thing I wanna make... I guess it's a mix of some HCs and observations? I'll talk about it here, without spoiling everything, but giving out he basics!! i can write properly i swear but since im infodumping im gonna be going from writing styles in and out wackily to get my thoughts out LOL It takes place when Cathal first got hired at Cogs INC - (All narrated by himself, by the way ) and what his expectations and thoughts were. What he knew and what he didn't - since Allan would share some things with him, obviously. Even way before Cathal got hired... And eventually it got to Cathal seeing Allan fall off the tower for the first time.

He doesn't think much of it now, just shrugging it off. Perhaps mild annoyance... It's just not worth the time. It's pointless... As he says himself, he finds the Toons VS Cogs thing pointless. And... he isn't too worried, since Allan always gets repaired in the end. Sometimes it's more severe repairs than other days, but, the point stands... No matter what he always gets repaired, and Allan himself also sounds more annoyed about this than anything as well

But this wasn't always the case!

Despite being, well... Really lazy - Cathal is very caring and kind. He cares about the people around him - he politely asks if everyone's had a good lunch, and he heals them. Hell, he can even be slightly scary with this with his "You should've hit someone else that time" line. Like - he does not exactly want to pack a punch, he just sorta has to since the Toons are there... But he's capable!! Even if he doesn't see them as friends, just co-workers, he's very willing to stand up for them if they get hurt...

It's the one thing that does give him the motivation which he usually lacks... He usually just doesn't want to care because it takes too much effort, y'know? But it doesn't make him incapable of things...

So, with him established as caring for other's (that he cares about) wellbeings... Imagine the shock seeing your own dad fall off a tower, with a loud earth-quake like crash... he hasn't been joking or lying after all with all his tales of Toons pushing him off the tower. Cathal never cared for this story... Just ignored it or blocked it out of his mind as Allan's constant stories (Because come on this guy definitely loves talking about things that happened while at work or what he did with The Boys :tm: when he's with Cathal. And wise-versa. He was sooo excited to show Cathal off to the other bosses in A Meeting Of Two Minds)

But like... Those weren't like. Just some stories. Allan was always annoyed about them, but in a "Gah, those darn Toons!" kind of way. (Maybe with an occasional ramble about how that day repairs were more expensive, perhaps, as more damage was caused. Looking at you High Roller ARG. Also makes me wonder just how much money from Cogs INC does go into his repairs... But I suppose insurances for Cogs are canon, and also Sellbots are known to cut corners to save cash, so that extra stuff maybe goes to him....) But, back on track now - It's been happening for YEARS. If we go with how long Toontown has been around - it's been happening for DECADES. You start sounding a bit less serious about it...

Like... Cathal was just shocked. What was he supposed to do?! That's his dad for fuck's sake!!! He may appear unenthusiastic and bored but... It's clear these two care for each other, even if Cathal does not let it be known (With Allan being the exact opposite and he's maybe Too Vocal About It. Me too buddy, me too)

Cathal has lived a life in comfort, basically spoiled by Allan. With love, material things, him letting things be easier for Cathal... He didn't have to worry about a thing. If anything, he probably only ever struggles with his own mind - considering I do headcanon him to have some struggles with motivation and doing things and that he has Cog ADHD. Yes it's projecting. I also sit around lazily for hours but because I can't start anything no matter how much I want. Even if it's a fun activity like... Turning on a video to watch. Drawing. Hopping onto a game. Or literally just getting UP.

He's learned to just... Work with those issues. And, unlike me, he doesn't have things like school and such to worry about, so the big stress factor is gone... So even if he does struggle sometimes and does need motivators, most of the time it's impossible to tell from him just.. Struggling and him being cozy and genuinely lazy... But since he struggles less more often than not it is just laziness and "that's just hard to do" and not a mental block...

Only ever living a life in comfort-like this - Makes you worry ten times as hard when the stressful times do come. He's not equipped to handle this...

In the comic he in panic flew over to check on Allan - who in fact has fallen over and had a bunch of Cogs helping him get back up, and beginning preparations to get him fixed ASAP. It was so organized, everyone knew each other there... This basically happens all the time. They've got to be.

Allan is... Shocked, but very happy to see Cathal there. He is so very proud of his boy being there... That he cares so much about his father to go see him. Cathal does not show affection a lot - but this is the way he did. Allan knows he doesn't show it a lot, which made it ten times more special. Others who knew about Cathal through Allan were shocked, too... Cathal. The Multislacker. Stays in his video room all day, watching the cameras... He... Should be working, but that's aside the point. Despite what Allan says we all know he's a lazy slacker... He doesn't care about others. Does he?

Well... he's here, alright. Worried for his dad, who is hushing him nonchalantly, saying how this happens often. "The boys are gonna get me right back up again soon as always, son!" And how he can get right back to work soon... (And of course, some curses against the Toons.)

Cathal is just... Baffled meanwhile. He's saying the same things he always does!! Isn't he one bit worried...? Well... Like everything else, he has to let it go... And just not worry about it. Allan doesn't, so why should he...? It doesn't stop him being worried a bit longer at the time AND the next few times this happens... At that point he just knows what happens like it's rinse and repeat, like any other day

But the first time was just... Scary. Even if he most likely was caring before (again, mostly outta just... understanding. yknow? man. just wanna chill... he gets it.) - he just... Never showed it much. But after? He began appreciating others around him more. He knows Cogs always get repaired despite... Uh. (Looks at Atticus) THAT ONE TIME, so there isn't really a feel of "time is limited" feeling there... But you still don't want to see people hurt. You want to appreciate their presence. Even if they aren't friends, y'know?

He doesn't see the reason for violence, really. Okay sure, he definitely likes playful banter and messing around - but I mean like... Genuine things, y'know? I mean, as a Cog he's on the side of the Cogs, he doesn't see the motivation the Toons have, or the goal (to have to fight Allan REPEATEDLY. I mean, as an in-game thing it's for unites, but it's canon he gets fought repeatedly regardless, yknow?)

He doesn't get the scope of why Toons fight back exactly, that it's pointless. Because he doesn't have the perspective they have... He is annoyed with them, yes, they burst into his room uninvited and then demand to fight him... And they hurt his co-workers and his dad. But getting too mad is just... Man! Not worth it. Too energy consuming. Not worth getting worked up over...

But even with that he wishes that this didn't have to happen, y'know? he doesn't see the point. And if nobody fights anyone - nobody is gonna bother him and his shows either...

i think i juiced out all my thoughts bc i guess the other stuff would be more cogs only or like personal interactions i imagine between frost and him and perhaps the others... i already established the gamer thing and that he messes around with pace in that regard. one of his motivations is to just be playful like that. maybe pace and him are NOT friends and they demotivate each other in work ways. but i just love the dynamic of not friends. not enemies. just tom and jerry online gaming mischief stuff. and like. gamer graham is really funny to me since hes the sport guy. but also hes jerma to me. you get me . righht. right. i love going from serious headcanon stuff to HEE HEE SILLY. but thats just who i am. thats what you get. (cannot even get too serious about graham hes just too goofy to me) (also has written gut wrenching angst about a guy named spamton g spamton) (is really normal)

anyways. thank you villain w.hos actually a really loving dad trope for being there for me. i have issues. allan plearse adopt m.e

I LAOVEE CARTHAL RA TOBRE BRAVECOOGGGGGGG. i hope any of this makes sense. its not even a headcanon its just a mess of things. but you asked for tism so you get it. this is the best i got after this i have nothing to talk about other than gushing about cathal's design and "oeoutht h the he oh he" and repeat the same points about why hes so nice and swag and cool. but. you get me right. You Get Me

[quietbluejay]

Flight of the Eisenstein 2

so the death guard have basically successfully obliterated the jorgalli the Mechanicum wanted to loot the ships but Mortarion said no and yet the sisters of silence can do it though it's less they got permission and more they're just doing it anyways

lol

his thoughts get interrupted because Kendel's come by to say hi she brought a younger assistant with her who hasn't taken the vows of silence yet so can translate Kendel wants to make sure he doesn't say anything to anyone about the kid psyker they shot in the head oh they have a black ship with them anyways, they're off to Luna oh we're back to Kaleb who is observing the Death Guard talking amongst themselves after the battle

uh oh Kaleb runs into Grulgor who is talking with someone else Grulgor bullies Kaleb in a …well honestly this wouldn't be too out of place in an edgy version of Mean Girls Grulgor complains about the old annoying traditions that are still being kept by SOME PEOPLE (Garro) it gets a bit into Kaleb being a failed aspirant and how he failed and geez mostly the few failed aspirants that survive kill themselves luckily for Kaleb, Apothecary Voyen shows up to save him oh yeah one of the things Grulgor accused Kaleb of was being a spy for Garro which he worries out loud to Voyen is true as Voyen tries to reassure him also Kaleb's seen the lodge meetings…

lmao

after the battle, Garro meets with his men and there's some razzing of new guy who used his power fist too much and got bodied he gathers them around and starts telling them good job when they all go still and look behind him yes it's Mortarion pulling a Batman and typhon and a servitor are there too it's very funny to me that Mr. 12-foot-tall spectre of death can just sneak up on people

huh you know i wonder how long it took most primarchs to get used to servitors

geez, Swallow and Wraight can't even agree on physical description Wraight has Mortarion as shorter and bulkier than Khan, Swallow has him as tall and wiry (at this point, my fellows started joking around that Mortarion would have looked like Fulgrim if it weren't for all the experimentation etc)

his eyes are amber-coloured here and he looks at Garro very intensely

mortarion has a sense of humour on occasion i remember that one bit The Buried Dagger where he's like "lol impossible everyone knows im incapable of understanding humour" anyways he's here to give Garro a reward he gets to drink poison i know this probably gets tiresome but i do cackle every time someone goes "this totally secular tradition doesn't have any weird spiritual elements i promise it's totally imperial truth safe!!!"

lmao anyways wouldn't this be more of a "recent' tradition since I doubt they were doing this before Mortarion was found?

first time i read this and shared this passage someone commented that the Death Guard here come off as…prettty culty it's fun though, the DG definitely have a lot of flavour I'm also noting the switch to using Garro's first name here which continues through the rest of the scene

Skyborne:

Yeah, it is. Also being fair to Mortarion, he was raised by one cult leader then forcibly conscripted by another. He knows cults are bad, that’s why he rebelled against Necare, but like. The boy has never actually been deprogrammed.

he never had a chance to see what a healthy society/social relationships looked like

typhon, internally: am i a joke to you im referencing the opening of Angels of Caliban which is like one of the only Typhon POVs in the entire heresy where he thinks about how Mortarion never tells him good job

i'm still thinking about how some authors aren't even consistent with themselves w.r.t. Mortarion characterization Mortarion continues saying a lot of nice things about Garro like how everyone even Grulgor respects him, Garro is starting to get a bit nervous here okay time to bring up Horus and ah, Mortarion's putting out feelers to see how Garro will jump

yeah it's about the lodges and like this is a part where it feels like Garro is a cheap copy of Loken Mortarion wants to know why Garro doesn't want to join his reasoning is…basically the same as Loken's lol we can't have anything hidden you know, i'd love to see Malcador's reaction to the Loken/Garro reasoning on that

like, lol Mortarion's next order for Garro is to act as his equerry when going to see the Warmaster since Typhon is going to be away Garro once again squees internally it's going to be glorious to be able to see multiple primarchs, lol

and now, let's go over to Grulgor and Typhon who are watching the last of the jorgalli ships get thrown into the sun Grulgor is grumbling about how Garro gets to drink poison for killing a bunch of kids

Typhon: lol…Mortarion is also Terran Grulgor: that doesn't count and you know it, he's one of us Typhon needles him a bit more about all the fun stuff Garro's going to get to do and Grulgor grumps about it Typhon also calls Grulgor a blunt instrument lol

yeah, obviously, Grulgor would go with Mortarion over the Emperor anyways Typhon might need a blunt instrument later to deal with Garro lol okay time for Mortarion and Garro to go visit the Warmaster but they're going to wait first

he's going to let Angron and the EC go see Horus first which kind of stiffens up Garro's back because the Death Guard are second to none lol it's just easier to deal with these guys this way, though we get a retread of the isstvan iii recording Garro feels bad for the woman who made the recording

heh

Cardboardman takes a look around the Vengeful Spirit as he walks with Morty and the Deathshroud

you know them not getting along makes perfect sense and ironically seems to be one of the only things that McNeill and Swallow agree on when writing them

lmao in the end Garro figures this is a good thing after all if the primarchs were too elevated above regular people they'd forget that they were supposed to be serving the people of the imperium oh honey lmao Garro also finds it very odd how empty the area is of gawkers because if a similar party were visiting the Endurance, all the Death Guard would be popping up to get a look lol Mortarion notes that he's frowning and asks about it, Garro brings up the lack of remembrancers Garro is indifferent to the whole idea of the project lol

this is still funny to me "wait we're the ones sent to follow the death guard" "oh so sorry, you just missed them" and then Garro spots Sindermann sneaking around

which only adds to the odd feeling it's time to meet Horus and it feels weird to see this description of him

like there's nothing wrong with it but at this point i kind of expect two more sentences in that paragraph about his charisma and muscles however, lol

"Horus flexed and the sleeves came off" Garro is also getting a bit of ye old dokidokis Garro: not now, brain

Garro nods to Loken and then he notes something weird with the body language among the Mournival he picks up on the tension between Loken&Torgarddon and the other two taking a look at the EC…

and then over to the World Eaters and there's rumours they've gotten up to stuff that even the Death Guard find hard to stomach and this whole bit is just a retread of the scene from Galaxy in Flames, just from Garro's POV Garro thinks dark thoughts upon replaying the message

i still wheeze at a Death Guard dude thinking about Astartes leaping to the defence of innocents chapter ends on Garro feeling a sense of ominousness and I continue to believe in my hc of psyker Garro

hanging out in the stormbird deck, someone calls Garro's name oh no it's an EC oh good it's Saul! they catch up a little and Garro calls Tarvitz (in his head) the only EC worth anything rip

Skyborne:

This book is a little too obvious about who the good guys and bad guys are. I don't love it. Even False Gods, for all its flaws, was clear that Loken and Tarik aren't special, and their places could easily have been swapped with someone like Aximand.

yeah it was one of my big gripes with the book and why i ended up dropping it the three separate times I tried reading it

McNeill's problem is more construction, he's got good ideas underneath it

my description of Garro first time I read The Buried Dagger: the cardboard flavoured lantern jawed pure knight of the imperium

i originally called Flight of the Eisenstein like eating unflavoured oatmeal with a hint of cyanide man, if people think i'm mean to McNeill I hate to see what epithets I'm going to get called by defensive fans this time I never compared his writing to cyanide

did i suddenly drop into an IW book? they're playing regicide though i would like to see a gaming tournament of IW vs DG they continue to banter a bit lol

uh oh it looks like apothecary dude has knowledge he shouldn't have and he got it from the lodges everyone gets mad at Voyen Voyen tries to defend himself then unfortunately Garro enters the room Garro: I'm not mad, just disappointed

rolling my eyes

Garro being a psyker would have actually given his character a little depth and flavour

the salting will continue and intensify next time! As we will sadly leave behind any Mortarion scenes...

[l4verq]

crossed out | b.b

bucky barnes x reader

in which you’re one of the names on bucky’s list

warnings : angst, fluff?, mentions of choking

fic : one shot

a/n : u know i’m a sucker for therapy bucky lol

He should have skipped today’s session.

Cause he’s starting to regret coming when she brings it up.

“You gonna tell me about her?” Cecelia questions, casually flicking through a thick folder labelled James B.B.

But it was never casual.

Bucky knew she was observing his every move, his every tick. And he’d been pretty good at faking through every session until now.

“I thought you were helping me make amends.” He forges an unamused smile, which was second nature now.

“Yes and that’s why I asked you about her.” She looks up from the folder, the smallest smile tugging at her lips.

“It says here that you guys were complicated.” She continues, eyes skimming over a particular page.

Complicated was the last thing he’d use to describe it.

Cause it was the one thing that gave him some clarity, hope that he could be deserving of love again someday.

“We used to date. We broke up.” He gruffs, crossing his arms.

Maybe he should fake a mechanical failure in his arm, reschedule for another time.

“Do you still love her?”

He doesn’t answer but it’s written all over his face and Cecelia can read him like a book.

She turns over his list that she’d assigned him to make, eyes trailing down names until it reaches a hastily crossed out name at the end.

“Why don’t we pick this up next week? I hope you’ll be more comfortable to talk about it then.” She hands him back the small, black notebook.

He hesitantly takes it back, his feet already springing to get out of the room.

Was it just him or was the air running out in this tiny room.

“And, James?” She calls out.

He looks back, slightly winded.

“Remember, sometimes you need to just take a leap of faith, trust your heart.”

He nods solemnly, almost tripping over his legs trying to get to the door.

Hands fumbling over the handle, he’s greeted by a rush of cool air when he finally opens the goddamn door.

He stuffs the notebook in his pocket, taking big strides towards the exit.

It’s the same everyday.

Keep his head down, one sharp left, stop by the nearby cafe if he feels like it.

But today, he takes a right, taking out his flip phone he prefers to the touch screens these days.

Punching in the only number he knows, his stomach’s doing flips.

Don’t pick up, don’t pick up.

“So you do know how to call someone.” Sam picks up after a few rings.

He could almost hear the stupid smirk.

“How are you?” He cringes, the grip on his phone tightening.

It’s a small pause before Sam chuckles, “Y/N’s doing fine. In fact, she just got back from a mission in Prague yesterday.”

Of course, you’d still be going on missions, it was the only thing you knew.

“That’s not why I called.” He huffs, leaning against his car now.

It was an old, beat up Honda that he’d fixed up from the local junkyard.

“Really? Then enlighten me.”

It was Cecelia’s fault for bringing you up. If she hadn’t brought her up, he wouldn’t be here doing this.

“Where is she?” He closes his eyes, wanting the ground to just crack open and swallow him whole.

“Right where you left her.”

He mumbles a hasty goodbye cause he’s not sure he can trust himself to keep his composure any longer.

Getting into the car, he pulls out the notebook, going through the list.

He’d ticked off the list last month, even adding a few more names just to avoid the crossed out name at the end.

He jams the keys in, the car purring to life, before he can change his mind.

-

The door is taunting him.

He doesn’t know how but it is.

A quick exhale and he raises his hand to knock on it, half hoping you won’t open it.

But you do.

He always loved your eyes cause they held so much life to them.

Like for now, confusion morphing to recognition and rage in an instant.

You’re in bad shape, he can gather from the slight limp and bruises.

It feels like forever before you call his name in disbelief, what he’s longed to hear for so long.

He wishes you’d curse him out, hit him or tell him to go away cause that’s what he deserves.

But you don’t.

Instead, your pretty eyes brim with tears.

“Don’t.” He grits his teeth, unable to meet your eyes.

He always hated to see you cry.

“Then, why’d you leave?” Your voice breaks as months of bottled up heartache pour out.

He had to.

You were the only right thing he’d done in a long long time and he couldn’t mess it up.

“I needed to fix myself before I could trust myself around you.”

He grimaces as he remembers the life draining out of your face, while his hands were wrapped around your neck.

That very night he’d left, requested for therapy and could only hope it would work.

But it didn’t.

There was no fixing anything, he’d realised that waking up from nightmares far too many times.

“You could have picked up the phone.” Your voice barely above a whisper, stinging like a nasty burn.

He almost did, everytime.

But he hated himself too much to allow that.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all he can whisper, fighting the urge to take you in his arms.

“If you’d just let me in, realise that I do understand you.” You’re basically pleading at this point but you don’t care.

“I know you do. But you don’t have to. You deserve a better guy.” He says the same thing when he left like a broken radio.

“There is no better guy for me, Bucky. Why can’t you get that through your thick skull?” You limp over closer to him.

You know he’s focused only on your limp, eyes filled with concern as they rake over your wounds.

“Does it hurt?”

The same thing he always used to ask after a mission while tending to your injuries.

“Yea, here.” You pat the left side of your chest, biting down a smile.

He has to fight back one too, but it’s kinda hard.

You meet his eyes, a little too long cause you’ve missed gazing into them every morning.

Maybe this is the leap of faith Cecelia keeps droning on about, he thinks as he leans in, “We should take a look at that, then.”

You sniffle, “I’m still mad at you.”

He laughs, which involuntarily makes you 2% less mad.

“I missed you.” He whispers, his lips inches away from yours.

You don’t have to say it back cause he knows.

He leans in closer, ghosting over your lips, waiting for your approval.

You close the distance, lips crashing into his almost in desperation.

Which you regret almost immediately cause you taste blood.

A split lip and kissing, not so pretty.

He pulls away and you mewl, pulling him back.

“You’re only making your lips worse.” He chuckles, hands slipping into yours.

Instead, he kisses your forehead, trailing all the way to your lips where he pecks them gently.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers again, head leaning on yours.

“I forgave you a long time ago. I was just waiting for you to come back.” You sob, tears springing out again.

He pulls you into his chest, steady hands you’ve craved for so long.

Gently rocking you back and forth, he strokes your hair, fleeting kisses to calm you down.

You’re struggling to keep your legs stable as your eyes grow heavy but you ignore the blatant aches in your body cause you don’t want to leave his embrace.

And he somehow always seems to notice.

“You need to rest.”

You shake your head, holding onto him even tighter.

He knows he won’t win against your stubborn ass so he lifts you up carefully, legs swinging over his arms while you snake your hands around his neck for support.

“Stay.” You mumble as he takes you in the room you two used to share.

And he does.

Boy, was Cecelia in for a ride next session.

-

a/n : im cringing as i post this🧎🏻‍♀️🔫🏃🏻‍♀️jsneyswjausowkaw but supeerr excited for tfatws this friday :)) also i named bucky’s therapist for convenience lol im pretty sure she’s not named in the first ep? i could be wrong tho

[crowfonder]

yeag okay happy feeyt time

Okay take two since tumblr ate this post last time.

Okay so it starts with penguins being horny unironically. So these penguins Norma Jean and Memphis fall in love and have egg. So as is penguin religion for sone reason the guy penguins watch the eggs and the gal penguins leave to fish so theres this blizzard and Memphis drops Egg which in penguin religion is absolutely terrible. Flash ahead to all the eggs hatching, Memphis' egg doesnt budge. So Gloria (little gal penguin WHOS VOICED BY P!NK??) and her dad come over and lil babu gloria taps at the egg until some peets pop out and Memphis is like "YAY OK BABY I HAVE BABY" and Mumble (Memphis' baby) pops out but hes tapping his feet and Memphis is like "wtf" and Mumbles like "my feets are happy :)" but they tell him to stop being autistic and so theres that. So as kids they are supposed to have a heartsong which is a penguin religion thing used to attract mates in the future so Gloria belts out something wonderful but Mumble sounds like a dying cassowary and just grows up as a mommas boy outcast. At sone point hes nearly eaten by a predator bird but hes a smart baby and asks ab the ring on his leg and this bird is like "alien. Abduction" but really he was just observed by humans n shit but this gives baby Mume enough time to hide in a hole until they leave! Ok so now all the baby guins grow up, Priest penguin gives a speech ab the graduating n shit. So theyre all at this party and Glorias sibging and for some reason theyre singing queen how do the penguins know queen. So Mumble gets excited and starts not only dancing but also honking and he gets kicked out which is sad. He wakes up alone and is like "hahah lol very funny this is a prank right" until this fucking RUSSIAN LEOPARD SEAL TRIES TO EAT HIM??? So he panics and scrambles on land and these hispanic guins (ONE OF WHICH IS ROBIN FUCKING WILLIAMS) tease the seal with him until it leaves, call themselves "the amigos" then take him to their land or whatevs so he learns about them making nests with pebbles n shit. Then theyre like "how do you get girls" and hes like "well we sing" but he cant sing bc he sounds like a drowning furby when he tries. So they hang out n such and then belly slide down a hill but a tractor falls in the water and hes like "amigos wtf was that!" And theyre like "dont know dont care" so they take him to this guy named Lovelace who is some sort of guru ig?? Some fat penguin with a plastic ring stuck round his neck claiming he speaks to mystic beings??? So Mumble is like "have you ever been ubducted bc i met a bird with a ring kinda like that" and Lovelace (WHO IS ALSO THE FUCKING NARRATOR) gets irrationally mad and tells him to leave. AND THEN LEAVES TO FUCK HIS BITCHES, IM NOT EXAGGERATING GO WATCH IT. and so he leaves with the amigos and goes home like "Guys i know whos taking our fish!" But tge priest guin us like "YOU UPSET GOD WITH YOUR TAP DANCING" and his momma is like "leave my kid alone!" And his dad us begging him to be normal and hes like "its my fault hes this way, I DROPPED HIM' yknow for dramatics so hes like "fuck yall! Imma go find those aliens and save our fish!" So he leaves and the amigos take him back to Lovelace who is now choking so they have to guess what hes attempting to say. They go to the ekeohant seals who basically tell him to give up and Mumble is like "guys, tell mom i love her" and JUMPS OFF A FUCKING CLIFF??? WHAT??? So he swims off to find the humans but washes up unconcious on shore and is taken to the zoo. So theres a heart breaking scene of him trying to talk to humans but hes just bird screaming at them until he loses his voice and it broke me, dude. So after three months hes literally hallucinating and contemplating just givibg up but this lil girl taps at the glass. So he starts tap dancing and the girl leaves and hes like "damnit, i messed up huh" but she comes back with her mom so he dances until hes surrounded by a crowd. So they dont make it clear in the next scene but he ends up back home for some reason (maybe eligible for release?) And hes like "GUYS WE GOTTA TAP DANCE FOR THE ALIENS" but the priest Guin gets mad again like "FUCK YOU YOU UPSET GOD THATS WHY THERES NO FISH" but Mumble has a tracking device on his back and itsa beepin. so now half the birds are singing and half are dancing. So norma is like "MY BABY IS ALIIIIVE" and greets him until she brings him to Memphis WHO HAD LITERALLY GIVEN UP BECAUSE HE WAS SO GUILTY OVER LETTING HIS SON BE EXILED?? so hes like "dad we gotta dance" so he teaches his dad to dance. All these humans arrive and now all these penguins are dancing so these humans are recording now and it goes VIRAL. So now its this montage of humans fighting for fishing restrictions and penguin rights?? Flash forward, happy eva afta for the penguins!! Gloria n Mumble hit it off and everyone is happy :) 

[aroaceconfessions]

https://aroaceconfessions.tumblr.com/post/686688214120054784/hey-im-writing-here-because-i-need-advice-and-i

Hi! I’m this anon 👆

First of all I want to thank everyone who answered my original post, you all really helped!

Secondly, I’m here for an update and ulterior advice (sorry if I’m annoying, but I literally have no one else that knows that I’m both aroace and going to therapy, so here we are).

TW: internalized aroacephobia, drinking, therapy.

So, after my previous post I’ve been to therapy a few times. Luckily, the topic of romantic/sexual relationships never came up again because I had more urgent matters to reflect on. And I hadn’t worried about it since literally my last post, but I went to my last session three days ago and once again I had to face this topic. 

For context: I had skipped two weeks of therapy because I’ve been really busy with planning a five months long stay in another country. I’m leaving soon. This week, luckily, everything is calmer so I went to my normally scheduled appointment and everything went well. We focused more on my anxiety because I actually had a few episodes and I wanted to work through them before moving away. 

Because of my imminent departure, however, my therapist took a few minutes at the end of my appointment to give me advice and a small recap of my journey/growth till now (which I REALLY appreciated, don’t get me wrong). However in this recap he also mentioned that he would have liked to talk about non-platonic relationships, but my aroace ass never gave him the opening for it. I found this observation pretty fair actually, seeing as a lot of my journey in therapy focused on relationships, how they define me and what role I tend to assume in them. However, he continued his speech saying something along the lines of: “I want you to take this period [the travel] as an opportunity to explore yourself and your boundaries.To let go. And, why not, to explore [non-platonic] relationships. So if you find a boy you like - or a girl - go for it.”

Basically, he told me slut it out lol

But now I find myself with doubts for my last appointment before leaving the country:

1) Do I actually open Pandora's box and come out to my therapist knowing that I won’t be able to go fully in depth of the issue in just one session? Doing this would allow me to get more “tailored” advice for my stay outside the country and actually work on my anxiety from another point of view (not the non-platonic relationships one he already suggested). But it’s still super scary considering I don’t have a lot of time to explain myself (altough he actually acknowledged the possibility of me being queer!!! “or a girl”). 

2) Second issue. In a fucked up why that I know I shouldn’t even be considering (for myself), what my therapist said makes sense. I feel like in a way he’s right and I should try exploring relationships, but I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to do it on my terms and that scares me because I already went through a “maybe I just need to get drunk enough to not feel repulsed” phase and luckily nothing bad actually happened. But now that I’m on the verge of moving continents and traveling alone I’m afraid I might resolve to that side of me again and go through grief and internalized ace/arophobia again and, man, I honestly feel like crying just at the thought of that. I wish there would be a safe and sure way to have these experiences but it’s either the unsafety of one-night-stands or the risk of losing a friendship because I decided to gamble on it in the hope I would develop romantic/sexual attraction.

I honestly feel so lonely and tired. It seems like this sexuality crisis will never end and like I might always be lying to myself. 

I was so hopeful after my last therapy session, but the more I think about it the more I want to scream.

Sorry for the long post, I hope you all have a nice day! 🧡💛🤍💙

[thepoetsvortex]

i felt really interrupted about lupin when i reading ootp. i mean, he always tried to be nice to severus but for what? to basically tried manipulate him, hope forgiveness for watching his friends bulling. in otherwise its kinda sad yk, his life after Voldemort gone is probobly full of hate for being a werewolf. And maybe he tried to get a little close with Severus for that. well, i think he is a pretty complicated character and i like it. sorry if my english is too bad. im still learning :)

Do you mean interested? Either way, don't ever apologize for your English, it's really really good! You are awesome!!

I don't think him being nice to Severus was really... genuine. I think he feels guilty about what happened to Snape during their school days, but I think he's right when he says in HBP that they'll never be bosom friends.

I like the idea that he does defend Severus in this same book when he isn't around- when there isn't anything to gain in other words- to Harry and the gang, like Remus genuinely believes in Snape's devotion to the Light until Dumbledore dies and that's really beautiful to me!

It's sad to think that Remus was so ostracized and lonely, and you're on to something that Snape could really really relate to that. It's this reason why I think they have the potential to be friends if it weren't for Remus being a cowardly bystander. His cowardice means Severus could never respect him. This is sad because otherwise they do have many things in common and these two characters who were hated so by society could find some solace in each other's company.

There are some important differences between them, however. For one, Remus has great parents who do everything possible to take care of him post-transition according to Pottermore, and he finds real acceptance and love in a group of popular boys at school. Snape finds acceptance with the Death Eaters of his youth yes, but not genuine affection or love the way Remus did; not to mention that Severus was quickly disillusioned with their ways and had to confront their ways in a way Remus never confronted with James and Sirius. There are some parallels there that belong in a much longer meta lol but it's not a perfect match by any stretch.

Very good observations! Great ask! Keep on with your English it was really wonderful!!!

[1purpleboi1]

Chronicles of Nekoma’s Manager Pt 2

Hiya! This is Part 2 of the Nekoma Chronicles! Find part one here!

A/N: Thank you so much @aoi-turtle ❤️ and I am not a manager (lol) so I can only guess that the manager would be taking notes and stats on the players?

In this post, the first practice:

It’s time for your first practice as manager for Nekoma’s boys volleyball team

Even after your outstanding first impression yesterday, the boys are still a little nervous for your first practice

You show up in sweats and a t-shirt (cue the “I’m not like other girls”)

Nah but as many athletes know, you can’t go wrong in sweats and a t-shirt when you don’t know what you’re going to be dealing with

You get there early and start setting up the net for the practice (the crank is the best part of setting up-)

As you finish filling water bottles and placing them next to the bench the boys start to arrive starting with Yaku, Kai, and Kuroo.

All three of them are wide eyed at the gym being set up

They’re all used to either doing it themselves or forcing their underclassmen to set up so when they see it’s already done and by YOU??

They’re already in love

I mean they are but they’re also really impressed

You try to make some small talk but the boys are all still a little awkward around you ITS OKIE LUVS THEYRE JUST SHY DORKS

Once the rest of the boys and Coach Nekomata arrive the practice starts you get to work

After observing practice for a bit and taking some notes on what players could work on, there’s some shouting coming from the door

In comes Lev, late because there was a cat to feed on the way to practice

Kuroo AND Yaku start yelling at him to get his tall ass to work and work on his receives

Once Lev finally makes his way to the court you immediately notice he sucks at passing IM SORRY LEV BBY I DONT MEAN IT

Quick to soothe Yaku’s anger, which was becoming obvious af, you ask coach if you could help Lev work on passing

Once you’re with Lev you help him learn the basics of passing

You’re much quieter and patient with him then Yaku is and before you know it he’s actually able to pass a hit from you

While you’re coaching Lev, you’re oblivious to the GLARES being sent his way from the team

I MEAN YOURE TALKING TO HIM AND HELPING HIM POSITION HID ARMS AND BEING SO KIND AND UGH

Oh how the rest of the team wishes they were Lev just this once

The team does notice a difference in Lev’s passing though which only boosts their opinion of you

While handing out water bottles to the boys your humming Can-Can, which also happens to be the melody to...

The periodic table of elements song!!

DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITED KUROO GETS WHEN HE HEARS THAT

HE POPS UP NEXT TO YOU AND SORTA DESPERATE TO REDEEM HIMSELF ASKS IF YOU KNOW THE WORDS

Obviously you do and for three minutes the two of you geek out and screech sing the song, yelling MAGNESIUM

(Be honest Kuroo simps, did you learn the lyrics for him?)

During the next water break you strike up a small conversation with Kenma about Super Mario Bros and Animal crossing

Poor Tora tries to go up to you to talk but he gets shy and slinks away to hide behind his upperclassmen ITS OKAY TORA LUV

Is he going to let Tanaka know that though? No way in hell. So even though he chickened out he texts Tanaka after practice saying how awesome and hit you were and how amazing he did talking to you

he secretly asks Kenma for advice on talking to you. Kenma ignores him

Through all of this you still manage to get some pretty detailed notes in and Coach Nekomata is impressed :>D —Nekomata’s new face

All in all your first practice was a success for you and the boys

ESPECIALLY KUROO WHO GOT TO MAKE UP FOR THE DAY BEFORE EVEN THOUGH AFTER PRACTICE KENMA CALLED HIM A NERD

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed Part 2 of this series and stay tuned for Part 3: Meeting Bokubro and Akaashi

Check out my Masterlist

Requests Open!

All parts HERE

[sageinacage]

Hellooo I saw you were taking requests again!! :D Would you be alright doing a bit of a hurt/comfort ish playful fic like Tommy asking techno to help train him. Techno notices that tommy starts to completely overwork himself and comforts him about like not feeling good enough to be techno's brother and techno playfully tickling him to force him to take a break? I'm sorry if this was a long prompt, it's 4am lol... Thank you so much!! :D

summary: tommy wants to be as strong as his brother techno, but doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to a/n: sorry i haven’t been active this weekend :[ im on the last 3 weeks of school and they’re piling so much stuff WAAAH warnings: swearing, self consciousness, self doubt (this is a hurt/comfort fic!) w/c: 1.6k

DSMP

~

“Techno, how did you get to be so… strong?”

“Hard work, Tommy. A lotta’ hard work.”

Tommy huffed, crossing his arms. That was definitely not the answer he wanted, because the boy wanted to be a force to be reckoned with now. “Well… what kind of hard work?” He egged on, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Well, experience is a big one- I’ve done a lot of fighting and gained a lot of perspective from that… uhhhh… I study books with ancient techniques? I uhhh, let me put some thought into this, kid,”

Techno continued to think, putting a hand to his chin in thought. None of these Tommy liked, as they both took much time, perseverance, and he was just too young to have had as much experience as his brother. “Oh, I’ve trained a lot-”

“Aha! Training! How do I train?” Tommy cheered, almost leaping with how excited he got. The boy assumed he would be able to be unstoppable after one training session, but his older brother didn’t know how to convey that it wasn’t possible- but also didn’t want to crush his spirits at the same time.

“Tommy,” Techno started, then let out a long sigh, “..it’s not that easy. I’d be willing to help but-”

“Let’s go now then, big man!” The blonde exclaimed triumphantly, marching towards the entrance to their house’s backyard. Techno watched him stomp out the room towards the back exit, shaking his head and following the boy.

When he arrived outside, Tommy was already in a set of armor with his sword out, grinning madly at Techno. With an amused huff, the piglin picked up his sword and stood a good distance from in front of him.

“Alright, the first thing is stance. Make sure you’re standing so you’ll be able to block on any side of you.” Techno placed his sword down, heading to Tommy. He gently moved his arms and shoulders to be in a preferred position. The boy stood there, completely stiff like a statue.

“Y’know you gotta loosen up, you need to be able to block and dodge attacks and can’t do that when you’re stone.”

“I gotta be like stone, so I can’t be knocked down!”

Techno shook his head, pushing his hand into Tommy’s side, making him fall on the grass. “That wasn’t fair!” Tommy whined, getting up and brushing the dirt off of his light armor. “All is fair in fights, kid. You never know what your opponent will do.” The piglin explained, pushing up his glasses.

Tommy muttered something under his breath, getting into the fighting stance his brother showed him. “I’m ready!” He announced, Tech sighing. “Tommy, you need to know the basics before going into battle.” He frowned, crossing his arms. “There are no basics in war!” Tommy rebuttals, using the phrase Techno used earlier against him.

“Actually there is-”

“I didn’t ask!” Tommy ran at Techno, falling onto the dirt as the man stepped to the side. “You don’t just run at someone and expect to get a hit on them, smartass.” He playfully flicked his brother’s head, who grumbled and got up, trying to get more hits on Techno.

The piglin continued to step out of the way, eventually sighing and easily disarming him from his blunt training sword.

“Tommy-”

“I can’t do it! How can I even be your brother?! I can barely even hold the sword, it's so heavy! I’m done with this, I’ll never be as strong as you!” Tommy fumed, throwing his armor off and stomping inside the house to go up to his room. Techno put his training sword away, sighing softly. ‘The kid has potential, he just gets ahead of himself.’ Techno thought, then heading inside to go upstairs to check up on his little brother.

“Can I come in?” He knocked on the door, hearing a small ‘no’ from inside. Techno huffed. “Please? I want to talk to you, Toms.” He asked again, then hearing nothing. “Fine.” Tommy gave him permission to come in, which Techno gladly took.

“Hey,” His brother sat at the foot of his bed, looking at him. “You’re just so cool. You’re Technoblade, everyone knows you as strong and scary. And… and I’m just Tommy. The little brother, the obnoxious one.” He ranted, sniffling softly as he curled his knees in and hiding his face.

“I wouldn’t say that, Tommy. I’ve heard people talk about how brave you are, which I’m gonna have to agree with. Also, you’re not obnoxious, I wouldn’t want to hang out with you if you were.” Techno showed him a small smile, opening his arms. Tommy leaped into them, wrapping his arms around his brother and holding his cape with an iron grip.

“Really? People think that?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you about that, kid.”

“I am pretty brave and cool, I gotta say,” Tommy chuckled softly at himself, his giggles slowly growing as Techno sighed at him. “Oh, I’ll give you something to laugh about!” He exclaimed playfully, his dull claws shifting around his waist.

“TEHehehechno!” Tommy made the poor mistake of shifting onto his back, so now he was just sprawled across his brother’s lap, stuck in his tickly grasp. “Tommy!” Techno playfully mocked, snickering at Tommy’s small growl in defiance.

“You’re really brave to try to rebuttal my attack, ain'tcha?” He spoke lowly, slipping one of his hands under Tommy’s loose shirt to lightly scratch at the sensitive skin around his belly. “Yohou suhUHUCK!” He complained, kicking his legs out in front of him. “What did you just say to me? You really are fearless.”

The boy was about to smile triumphantly until a blunt claw gently scritched over the bundle of nerves over his hip bone. “SHIHIHIT- Nohot thahahat!” Tommy complained. “Sohomewhehere else!”

“Y’know Tommy, when I tickle Ranboo right here he’d dip out right away. You must be tough if you can withstand this!” Techno praised, a fond smile washing over his face. Tommy continued to shake his head, the ticklish sensations making him tingle all over.

“Hmmm, let’s see if I could make you break. Highly doubt it for how well you’re taking it though, kid.” He chortled before laying Tommy down and skittering both his fingers up his sides. “IT’S SOHO BAHAHAD!” He arched his back, a wheeze escaping him. The claws continued to explore up his sides, dragging back down before stopping at his upper ribs to scribble over the ticklish skin there.

“WHIHIHIYYY?!” Tommy whined, slamming his arms down. “Because!” Techno smirked, drilling his fingers as they were trapped and he couldn’t wiggle them anymore. “THAHAHAT’S WOHOHORSE!” He screeched, the piglin just laughing. “Then free me, smarty!” His fingers continued to drill and prod as much as they could, shifting up to reach his underarms.

“NOHOHO! IT’LL BEHE EVEN WOHOHORSE!” Tommy grumbled, kicking his legs. “Good observation, Tommy! Never let your enemy get an advantage!” His brother praised again, smiling down at him. The grumpiness in the boy’s tone turned more gleeful, the pinkette grunting in success.

“But what if the enemy planned a surprise attack?!” Techno exclaimed, leaning his head down to blow a raspberry over the upper part of his tummy, repeating the action but on his navel next time. “I WIHILL SUHUHURVIVE!” Tommy retorted, trying to push at his head. “I’d like to see you try.” He challenged, lifting his shirt a small bit before leaning down to place nibbles along his lower belly and around his hips.

“FUHUHUCK! TEHEHECHNOHO!” He threw his head back, still holding onto Techno’s hair but not really pushing him away. Techno was genuinely surprised- usually, his nibbles can kill anyone and make them plead for mercy. “Wow Tommy, you can withstand my nibbles? You must really be a champ, huh kid?” He complimented, smiling at Tommy’s giddy squeal.

Techno knew how much Tommy needed this, he needed to hear how actually brave and tough he was, because the truth was the kid was strong, just needed to hear it to believe it. “You were able to survive that, but can you survive this?” He devilishly smiled, moving his claws over to scritch at his lower tummy as he nibbled up his sides.

“YOHOHOU’RE HOHORRIBLE!” Tommy shrieked, kicking his legs and arching his back, but still wasn’t begging for mercy like Techno thought he would. “Able to survive again? This is like the hardest time I’ve had tiring someone out, Toms.” Techno admitted, Tommy giggling and happily chortling in response. He was genuinely proud of himself, feeling stronger than ever.

“Alright. I give up.” Techno chuckled, pulling his brother in for a hug while he calmed down. “I wohohon!” Tommy announced excitedly, hugging him back. “Yeah yeah, whatever.” The piglin sighed contently, pulling away.

“You know Tommy, being strong is more than just physical strength. You gotta have the right mindset, and you’ve definitely got it. I’ve never met someone as strong-willed, enthusiastic, and brave as you.” Techno explained, rubbing his stomach and side area, trying to help with the after-tickles.

“Reheally?”

“Yeah, really.” Techno chuckled, getting up. “How about I teach you a lesson in some historic techniques in fighting, I think you’ll find it interesting.”

“Books are so boring- ugh, fine.” Tommy crossed his arms, standing up and stretching, before following his brother out of the room. “What were you boys doing?! I thought Tommy was being attacked for a hot minute.” Phil laughed from the kitchen, seeing them walk by. “I beat Techno in a tickle fight, that’s what happened!” Tommy laughed, nudging his brother.

“Yep. He beat me. Strong kid, I tell ‘ya.”

[transsexualhamlet]

Moriarty the Patriot + The Final Problem

aka another unecessary essay from ya boy on how yuumori, instead of taking away from the original text, adds meaning and depth to it

So I finally got around to reading the final problem after wading through all the memoirs of sherlock holmes and yes, I am in fact reading these because of yuumori. I wanted to see how it was portrayed, what the differences and influences from the original source were. I did end up getting incredibly attached to the original series too, so yeah... I'm glad to report that the original and adaption get along well.

And yeah, I have a lot of thoughts, most of them being just me generally praising yuumori. I think it was straight up genius how they pulled so much content from... well, frankly. The Final Problem was a 15 page short story tossed off by Doyle in order to have an excuse to be done with sherlock holmes, told from the perspective of someone who wasn't even there. And yuumori still managed to make it generally very accurate and complementary to the original, while still being, uhhhhh really fucking different, let's say that.

Read more because again, long essay

Just my observations on the final problem itself is that it is so underdeveloped and told from an outsider perspective. Because of that, so many questions go unanswered, and the reader gets a sense that they are only witnessing a very small part of what actually happened. Sherlock can't afford to go into detail on what Moriarty was even involved in, Watson isn't privy to what's honestly even happening most of the time, and Moriarty just... has this extensive network of organized crime that just isn't even talked about other than Trust Me It's Bad Bro. We don't know Moriarty's intentions, most of who he is, and more questions are honestly brought up than answered within the story. Sherlock knows, oh that's for sure, Sherlock knows what's going on and he has no fucking time to tell Watson. You get a sense that Watson himself isn't even telling all that went down.

So yeah, I can see where there's so much room to expand upon here, not even to change things or make it different because it would be cool, but there's so much that could be happening just within the realm of plausible deniability in the canon.

And I think that it's amazing how Yuumori chose to market itself that way- not as an adaption or reimagining- but that this was in fact the Real story, with Doyle's final problem being... honestly a bit of a cover up, a purposeful misrepresentation of a small slice of the full story. It lends itself completely to that, and I think that's amazing.

(One thing I do find funny is that in Yuumori the story "the final problem" is depicted as a full novella that could be published on its own... man it's not nearly long enough for that but I find it funny in any way)

Of course, there are elements of yuumori that are yknow, simply not realistically something that could have happened, but most of the story is actually within that range of plausible deniability since the canon is so vague and sparse. And since they state that things were changed on purpose to protect people and the moriarty plan, it basically covers that all as simply The Truth. It's well done, and very interesting, especially with the new anime ending taking them to Reichenbach itself.

Like, yuumori didn't even truly change the appearances of the characters, from the descriptions. (we're not counting the illustrations lol) like, Sherlock was never stated (as far as I can tell) to have a specific hair or eye color, hairstyle or such.... he was described as tall, thin, eccentric, messy, with like... long fingers and stuff. Man, yuumori did not go against that. With Moriarty it's different, though he was also reportedly Tall and Thin and Built Like A Yaoi Protag for some goddamn reason, he... you know, has these weird and unattractive features as well, which... in the context of Watson trying to portray Moriarty as unmitigated evil in order to protect the plan, were in this situation made up specifically to further the idea that he was just that.

Because of this situation, the Moriarty that is portrayed as yeah, a smart guy and a threat but seriously just A Bad Dude who seems to have no particular reason behind his actions save being A Bad Dude actually make more sense as a cover up behind a more dangerous secret of him having Real Feelings than the only stated reason being "he inherited being evil from his family". (like... watson, really?)

It explains the vagueness and the events and the weird connection between those two better than the original does, and that's really cool to me.

On their own, without yuumori to back me up on these things, reading this would have left me confused and depressed. But as a half truth immortalized as the real story, you get so much more out of it.

Especially these certain scenes:

When Moriarty just pops into Sherlock's house and they proceed to have a basically wordless conversation amounting to

"you know why I'm here" "you know how I'm going to respond" "well then" "here's date and time of our mutual destruction" "thanks I'll be there" "well I'll be off nice knowing you" "wow it sucks that we're enemies he's such a civil guy"

It just really adds something to that, don't you think?

And the subject of their fall itself, simply the fact that Watson wasn't even there. No one witnessed it. No one found even Moriarty's body. No one found evidence of anything at all.

All Watson could say was that Sherlock and Moriarty had gone up to the mountain together, Moriarty told Sherlock of his plans, let Sherlock write and leave a letter to Watson, and that they never came back down. So he came to the conclusion that they must have fought and both fallen off.... like, holding each other. Not really sure how they reached that conclusion, to be honest.

It doesn't even make sense, exactly told how it is. If Moriarty wanted to kill sherlock and survive, he would have just... brought a fucking gun. Or just pushed him off on the way up. As soon as he got him alone just fucking stab the man. It would have been that easy, but no, he had a whole ass convo with the man, they went up civilly side by side, and they stayed on the cliff a long time while Sherlock wrote that letter. Even then, Sherlock could have just waited to catch Moriarty off guard and pushed him off. But he didn't.

Why would they even have fought, if it was so scheduled? You telling me to believe that after this letter was written and moriarty stood there watching him sipping tea or whatever he was suddenly like "ok im ready to fight now", knowing they would both probably die, and if they were genuinely trying to kill each other and survive, that would even make sense?

Of course, these problems in the original stem just from Doyle no longer giving a shit and slapping this together after losing motivation for sherlock, he was obviously, not hinting at some great conspiracy in the slightest.

But damn, Yuumori really does change that all for you, huh. It adds a whole new layer of context to it. And I like it a lot, I like what they've done on their own, I like what they've done for the original stories, and I especially like what they've done telling the "real story" of this short, vague, mystery that otherwise leaves you feeling unsatisfied and confused.

[scoups4lyfe]

Hi Karen anon here, long time no see (cause 8 just check tumblr like once a week and that just to read your liveblog. Usually i come to check it on Wed cause uhh I keep remembering the 30 hours anon lol chile anyway).

See, thanks to the newly added tags it did make my reading easier. But, I was scrolling for fun when I encountered the (excuse me if this sound rude) that mf 'interesting' anon. So pls excuse me while I put my Karen wig on

I know this is just Tumblr but people should really be professional. Your blog isnt a ship blog or whatever (though I noticed you just merely implying it sometime) so I found it really annoying that the anon attack you for something taht didnt have anything to do at all. Cause well, I will be honest. Im just interested in your blog bc of the fun af liveblog and the amazing analysis (i read the Ikki analysis so much its my bed time story/hj). And Im quite sure almost everyone who came to your blog is also come for the same reason. So what our personal ship is irrelevant to this blog (well at least thats how far I observed it)

*Taking my wig off* now that was done.

As always, I enjoy reading the live blog. Though I find it weird that in the ep 22 preview, it felt like everything go back to normal? Like Hiromi didn't just unalived down the cliff 😂. But well I will be anxiously waiting for that ep 🙏🙏

Also funny story, so I am someone who likes spoiler. So I will search spoiler on twitter first. Apparently, they all said that Daiji was useless in ep 21 and Im like "Naurr dont be mean to Daiji guysss" (bc they say that /every episode/ it basically a joke). Unfortunately, after watching ep 21 myself Daiji did feel even more....useless (this is strictly my opinion I swear lmao). Like, nah Daiji I cant defend you anymore like this 😂

Well sorry for the long af ask. Thank you for your hardwork and I will wait for the Oltecca(?) analysis. See you next week 🥰🥰 (take care of your health. The covid cases in country really spike up so hard this week 😔)

KAREN ANON????

Ayyyyy howdy buddy.

I'm glad the new tags help LOL

JDSKFJASDFJSDFDSF

THE KAREN WIG

'm glad for your wig'ed defense 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and yessssssssss

yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I'm glad you like my analysis posts LOL!! And awh <333 it's always nice to hear y'all are having fun with the nonsense I've thrown into the abyss aasjdfjsdfjdf

AND YEAH G, I felt the SAME seeing the next episode preview. Really lol'ed cause it felt like we went back to the 'monster of the week' episodes aksdjflkjsdfj.

Tho I know the writers like to troll with us so idk I wouldn't be surprised if every other moment in that episode is just 'sibs mourning' hours. Sooooo funny too cause if it isn't,,,, and everyone's actin like nothing happened lmaooo that's STILL in character

#repress repress repress LOL

AHHHH USELESS DAIJI !!! BROOOO

soooo funny that's Daiji's pet peeve about himself too lasjdfksdf ;;;that he can't ever seem to do anything (esp when it really matters LOL!)

See, Daiji hates being the "damsel in distress" but that's all he was ever taught to be (cause Ikki and Sakura literally did everything else) and that was another big reason why he went out into the world and got some crazy asf job -- because he wanted to prove to himself too that he's able to do things on his own

but likeeeeeee, idk old habits die hard hahahaha

(Also doesn't help that in times of great stress Daiji clams up instead of being able to properly react to the situation. Aka he just shuts down.)

My homie is still learning just *how* to do things on his own, and then the Kagerou fratricide-stint really had him back-sliding in any positive development he had previously LOL!!!

My homie is the picture boy for Learned Helplessness

"People that experience repeated abuse and other aversive situations eventually learn to become helpless if nothing they do changes it. It’s as if they internalize that since nothing worked in that situation, nothing will work in similar situations, either. The trauma begins to erode two other critical aspects of mental well-being — self-efficacy and internal locus of control."

haha yoinks. Man I wish we got more flashbacks of the Igarashi sibs past cause DAMN. Pls man give me some bread in this desert.

"Self-efficacy is your level of confidence that you can tackle challenges and learn new skills. Internal locus of control is the degree to which you believe your circumstances are under your control. When these two traits are high, you feel confident and empowered, even when things get tough. Stressors seem controllable, and you know that you can trust yourself to do your best.

When learned helplessness takes over, though, you don’t feel so sure of your ability to handle challenges. You don’t believe that what you do makes a difference, and that makes it hard to see a way out — let alone a silver lining."

(These quotes are taken from: 'What is Learned Helplessness and how do you 'unlearn' It?' blog post/article)

Anyways It's obvious that Ikki's over-parenting has lead to this situation. And I think what makes it worse is that Sakura is more useful/helpful than he is.

(She wants to be seen as capable so she steps up to do as much as she can / to manage what Ikki isn't able to)

So now he's placed in the position of being especially useless LOL.

Anyways, Daiji has a lotttt of problems :')). He's literally the perfect target for cult recruitment.

(Which might be one of the reasons why he's still so quick to defend shady ass Fenix. Fenix is one of the few things he positively attributes to himself, so if Fenix is bad then that just means Daiji's failed *again* at doing the right, correct, moral, 'good', thing.

It's the *only* thing he has giving him any lick of worth. The only thing making him useful. Everything he's accomplished will go to ZILCH the moment Fenix isn't part of the 'good guys.' So,,,for him its just easier to ignore all the red flags. Cause he doesn't want to hate himself more than he already does, rip.)