#the best days in computer lab (which was an actual CLASS when i was in elementary school)

[exlibrisfangirl]

Fun Fact: You can learn more about the computer game's history and even play the original game online here!

Did you ever play The Oregon Trail? (Any version)

[i-prefer-base-twelve]

Ford x Reader x Sleep

It's not so much that you awaken as you're drop-kicked into consciousness. Heart racing, disoriented--it's still dark--Ford is sitting up beside you, panting, clutching the duvet to his chest.

Shit. Something's wrong. Fire? Intruder? "Ford?" You croak.

Ford looks in your general direction, confused. Then his eyes focus and his shoulders sag. He takes a ragged breath and smooths your hair.

"Nothing," he mumbles, voice shaky. "Nothing. Go back to sleep."

You frown up at him. "Bullshit," you say. "What's wrong?"

He looks out the window. Or, he would be looking out the window if the curtains weren't drawn. "Just a bad dream."

You prop yourself up on an elbow. Ford told you he had nightmares sometimes, but he's never startled you awake before. "It must have been pretty intense," you say. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Silence. He stares hard at nothing. "You--" he stops, clears his throat, tries again. "You… he…" Ford closes his eyes. "He… possessed you."

No need to ask who HE is. Your stomach knots up on Ford's behalf. "Hey. Look at my eyes," you say softly, reaching out to place a hand on his cheek. "It's just me in here. He's gone. Forever."

Ford scowls, shoving your hand aside. "You think I don't know that?"

You flinch back. That stings, even if you know he's only angry at himself. "Hey, asshole, I'm trying to comfort you here. Either let me try or let me sleep."

At that, he grunts and lays back down, facing away from you. You stare at his back, wondering what you should do; you've never seen him like this and you might have just fucked it up. Before you can decide on a course of action, he rolls over to face you and rolls you onto your side and pulls you tight against his chest. You can feel his shaky breathing, his pounding heart.

You try to turn and look at him, but his arm around you is so tight you're pretty much pinned. If he doesn't calm down soon, you're gonna have bruises. And not the fun kind.

He clearly doesn't want to talk about it, so that leaves distraction. Distraction, distraction… ah! You say quietly, "Did I ever tell you about the moment I decided not to be a scientist?"

He shifts, arm loosening fractionally. "I didn't know you'd ever considered it."

You smile. This is totally going to work. "Yeah, I actually entered college as a chemistry major. There I was, all of 18 years and two weeks old, in organic lab, WAY over my head--"

"Organic chemistry as a freshman?"

"Oh. Yeah. I guess I tested out of a bunch of credits."

"You never told me that." There's a gentle admonishment in his voice. You try to find a tactful way to say I don't talk about my college days because I'm an adult and finally decide on, "It never came up. Anyway, there I was in my first real chemistry lab, surrounded by all this strange equipment, and I was just trying to get the melting point of something." Which you do by waiting for a chunk of it to melt and then reading a thermometer. Science is not always complicated. "I turned the heat on, but I knew this thing had a pretty high melting point, so I started writing up my report while I was waiting, but then I got distracted and forgot I was heating it up… until the machine got so hot the thermometer blew out of its housing and shattered against the ceiling."

Silence. Ford's body, pressed against you, begins to twitch with laughter. "You FORGOT?"

You shrug as best your pinned shoulders will allow. "It scared the bejezus out of the whole class. Thank god it wasn't a mercury thermometer! No one was hurt. But that's when I knew I wasn't cut out for life in a lab. Changed my major to computer science the very next day."

You feel Ford shake his head behind you. "Too bad. You would have made a great chemist."

You laugh at that. "Clearly I would not have! Anyway, no regrets. I made it through the CS program without breaking a single machine. Wait, did I… no. The printer broke itself. I just put it out of its misery. Which was honestly one of the more fun times I had in college..."

"Mmmm," Ford says. Your scheme is working; he's falling asleep. You stop rambling as you feel his arm go slack.

You open your eyes to find yourself in the middle of a chem lab. The air burns your throat and stings your eyes. The tables around you are full of improbable setups, Rube Goldberg glassware hosting all manner of sickly-colored liquids. As you look closer, you notice the liquids are flowing the wrong way through the glassware.

You jump at the sound of glass shattering on the floor behind you. As you turn around, the lights flicker. A voice speaks, seeming to come from all around you and inside your head all at once.

"AND JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

You jerk awake, feeling cold sweat on your face. Ford's arm still drapes across your stomach, his breathing still slow and easy. Good, you didn't wake him up. You try to match his breathing, focus on the physical sensations of his warmth and weight against you, try to calm down. Dreams, man.

The next thing you know, a big hand is smoothing your hair. You force your eyes open to see it's morning. Ford is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at you intensely. This isn't bizarre exactly, but it's not his normal pattern. Usually when you wake up, he's either long out of bed and knee-deep in mad science, or snuggled up next to you. You make an inarticulate questioning noise.

"I… made you coffee." He's strangely bashful, gesturing at the mug on your nightstand. Next to the mug is a plate of peanut butter toast and strawberries, aka the most breakfast you ever eat.

Ford brought you breakfast in bed.

Ford has never brought you breakfast in bed before. You didn't know he was even aware of breakfast in bed as a concept.

You sit up, turning to lean against him as you reach for the coffee. "Thanks," you say, not managing to keep the confusion out of your voice. He puts an arm around your waist and scoots closer.

Ford stays quiet, unusually quiet, while you drink your coffee. After nearly half a cup, he finally speaks. "No one's seen me like that before." He looks back to you, eyes locking onto yours. "I hope you don't think less of me."

You set your mug on the table and turn to face him. "Think less of you? No, of course not, why would I? Nightmares are scary."

He scowls, looking away. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that."

It finally clicks. He's embarrassed about waking up in a panic, and wants to apologize for snapping at you. You sigh, putting a hand on his knee. "Seriously, it's no big deal. You were freaked out, you didn't mean anything by it. Honestly, your reaction was pretty standard. I dated one guy who would actually wake up screaming--"

He looks at you then, pinching your hip playfully. There's the slightest smirk on his face. "I don't need to know about your exes."

You smirk back at him. "Point being, don't worry about it. I barely even remember waking up."

He looks relieved. "Were you able to get back to sleep ok?"

Were you? Now that he mentions it, you vaguely remember having an unsettling dream of your own. What was it…? Maybe you're just remembering feeling unsettled on his behalf. You nod and say, "Out like a light."

"Good." He takes your hand in his and squeezes it. And then, after a pause, he adds, "You know, before you, I would just spend the rest of the night awake. Pacing up and down the halls or writing in my journals. But with you…" he shakes his head, smiling. "I went back to sleep. You're a gift, and I intend to appreciate you better in the future."

You smile at him. "I like the sound of that."

He moves in to kiss you, and you gladly let him.

[loreleismusings99]

Two-Body Problem

Mark Watney x reader

Grad School AU, (academic) rivals to ??????

No use of y/n

[Masterlist]

Not Beta-read, we die like Spirit and Opportunity.

CW: networking, Inaccurate depictions of organic chemistry, probably riddled with typos, but that's all I can think of. Please please please let me know if I missed anything and I'll add it to the top of the list

The reader and Mark are both PhD candidates at Northwestern and both happen to be GTAs for an o-chem/bio-chemistry class. They schedule and meet up on neutral ground(a library) to get some grading done together and some unexpected feelings creep in.

AN: This is the first fanfic I've ever written; critique is always welcome and encouraged, but, uh, perhaps manage your expectations? Idk 😅 I'm not the best when it comes to creative writing, but there's a criminally low amount of fic for The Martian and even fewer fic centered around Mark imo. I might continue this into something more, if there's demand and if I've the energy and motivation 🤷🏾

Alright, I'll stop trying to lamp-shade; Enjoy, and thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this 💚💚💚

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Wanna meet up to put a dent in the pile of grading I know you also have? 

The two of you exchanged numbers at the beginning of fall quarter out of politeness, but it was still surprising to see the notification from Mark’s text. 

Leaning back in your chair, you considered your options, the soft sensor schematic in front of you now fully abandoned after an hour of rearranging thermocouples and resistors trying to alleviate a stubborn inductive noise problem.

Mark had been a thorn in your proverbial side since the day you met him; well, night, to be exact—your blood begins to boil at the memory. You were engaged in cordial and calculated banter with a researcher working in a lab you were gunning for before being interrupted by someone exclaiming “Dr. Hernandez!” to your left. You blinked and the fragile connection you just began to form had crumbled as the attention of the faculty member in question whirled to the side and greeted a stocky and stubbly man who Dr. Hernandez introduced to you as “Mark Watney, one of my PhD students!” This confused you since his name tag clearly said, Plant Bio and Conservation and this was a mixer in the electrical and computer engineering department; “I’m working with him and a faculty member in my own department on developing novel ways of monitoring soil properties in areas in Illinois hardest hit by industrial runoff” Mark says with a smile that oozes levels of confidence and hubris only considerable privilege can spawn. He gives you a quick glance before saying, “which actually reminds me-” and steering Dr. Hernandez away from you. Now, this certainly stung, but it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t get over. No, what made this a problem was Mark’s uncanny ability to draw the room’s attention to him and his work, making it a just a tad difficult to properly network without having to entertain talk and conversation surrounding the department’s charismatic new wunderkind apparent. This combined with quite publicly challenging a design of yours for a class you two shared had firmly placed Mark in your list of worst enemies. Which, admittedly, might be a bit dramatic, but after some quippy and well worded critiques and suggestions to optimize a C++ script he’d written for the same class it seemed you’d made your way onto his hit list too, if department gossip had any veracity to it—so at least the feeling was mutual.

Which brings you back to your confusion at this new development in your communication with him; Mark hadn’t exactly jumped for joy when, in some sick reversal of the infamous two-body problem, the two of you got hired as TAs for the same introductory o-chem class. You exchanged numbers, but neither reached out to the other to host joint office hours, or to work together to get through the ever-growing pile of completed homework assignments that you two need to finish grading—in fact, this is the first time either of you texted the other since the first text you sent confirming your number as yours. Staring at your phone’s screen you weighed the pros and cons of saying yes; on the one hand, it’ll help the two of you get ahead on the imposing pile of work that had accumulated just in the first 2 and a half weeks of the quarter. On the other hand, it meant that you’d have to breathe the same air as your infuriatingly handsome nemesis for longer than you were required to. Not that he was your type. Absolutely not. He just… had an objectively strong jawline…. Choosing not to think too hard about that and reasoning that getting grading done was more important than your pride, you typed out a curt sure. See you at Galter in an hour? And waited for his equally as curt sounds good before getting up to go change out of your comfy, at-home garb and head out the door with your half of the grading pile and your laptop tucked away into your backpack.

You’re chewing the last bite of a pop tart you got, realizing you unfortunately forgot to eat dinner before leaving, and scrolling through Instagram when Mark walks through the glass doors leading into the Galter Health Sciences Library. Under a mild windbreaker, he’s wearing what’s presumably a band t-shirt but with a worn-out and unrecognizable logo tucked into his cuffed light wash jeans. He"s carrying a clearly well-loved canvas satchel with a Cubs patch sewn onto the front. His hair was artfully tousled as he ran a hand through it while he looked for you in the spattering of students who occupied the library at minutes to 9 on a Friday evening. When his eyes finally land on you, he looks taken aback, the carefree look wiped off his face for a moment before he smirks at you through an obviously clenched jaw. “Glad you didn’t decide to stand me up. You reserve a conference room?” You returned his tension-filled smirk with a smile resembling a sneer and responded, “Of course. We’re on the second floor.” You stood up from your seat and started walking in the direction of the staircase, looking behind you to make sure he was following you only to find him in the middle of a light jog to position himself on your right side.

“So, how’s the dissertation writing going?” he asks over his shoulder. Scoffing, you respond with an incredulous “How’s yours?”, hoping he pics up on your clear annoyance at being asked that dreaded question yet again. Wincing at your retort of a question, he concedes with a “Fair enough” And the two of you are plunged back into the awkward silence that permeates the sparsely populated library.

after finally finding the room you reserved(the library is like a maze, capable of ensnaring even the most seasoned of academics), you shuffle into the study room together and set up your computers and piles of homework to be graded before settling into a serene flow with Mark working quietly beside you.

after about thirty minutes, you look over to Mark’s pile and notice that his “complete” pile is, unfortunately, larger than yours, which ignites a spark of competition in you. You start to try to work through your pile faster and Mark seems to pick up on your haste.“Worried about falling behind?” he scoffs with a shit-eating grin, clasping his hands together in front of his mouth. “Oh, not in the slightest; just trying to optimize my time, I've more work to get back to, you know.” you say, smirking back at him but with a glint in your eye, tacitly challenging him to try to get through his pile before you get through yours.

The two of you actually make some substantial progress in both of your piles before you encounter one of the more difficult homework assignments your students have been assigned. You’re stumped by the multi-part problem at the top of the page, trying unsuccessfully to follow the student’s work in front of you.

“... You on homework 15 yet?”

“Yep.” you nod.

“... You have any idea what Dr. C is asking them to do?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Alright, just checking.”

Mark sits back in his chair with a thud and runs a hand down his face. you stand from your seat and move to the small whiteboard on the wall opposite where you were sitting and start to list out the knowns and unknowns in the problem statement. You can feel Mark’s eyes on you the entire time, following along with your work and your movements as you draw out the reaction being described in the first part of the problem. You get stumped at the end of the problem, trying to piece together the end products of the reaction. You hear Mark shift behind you before turning around to see him walking toward the whiteboard to silently walk himself through your work, nodding at each step you took. He picks up a marker and starts adding onto where you were stumped and you watch intently, absorbing what he’s writing. As he finishes the problem, you get the chance to actually get a look at him while he’s working; he furrows his eyebrows and you notice a small crease he gets between his eyebrows as they cinch together, and the faint spattering of freckles across his nose becomes apparent with how close he is to you now. God, he is so close-"that should be it? I think?" He looks to you with an indiscernible look in his eye; first, a hint of shock as his eyes widen--looks like he noticed how close you are too-- then something else you can't quite identify. It takes more effort than your willing to admit, but you eventually tear your eyes away from his and look at his work on the board. It all makes sense, you also note how messily he draws his diagrams of the assortment of carboxyl groups created by the process at the center of the problem(and it also takes everything within you not to smile at that, thinking to yourself, when did this start feeling nice???). "It, uh, it looks all good to me. And the rest should follow from this too." you utter awkwardly and turn to face him again. "Yeah?" His state of mind is still elusive to you, and he responds with an almost dazed sounding "Yeah."

The moment doesn't last for long though, as a soft knock sounds at the door, startling you both out of your joint reverie. "Hey, you guys are the TAs for o-chem this quarter, right? Do you have time to talk about the homework due tomorrow?" The two of you exchange a glance and invite the exhausted looking undergrad into the alcove.

After helping your wayward student, the two of you start packing up your now completed piles of grading in silence, the awkward air from the beginning of the night settling back in now that the distraction from grading was gone. The two of you are about to part ways at the entrance of the library when Mark stops you with a "hey," and says,"uh, so, I know we have this…whatever this is? Between us" He gestures chaotically back and forth in the space between you, and you raise an eyebrow at him. "But this is the most work I've gotten done in one sitting in a while. Would you, uh, like to do this again? Maybe? But at more reasonable hour?" Mark takes a defensive steps back, and this throws you off for a multitude of reasons. One, Mark is acting nervous, which is something you've had the pleasure of witnessing mabe once in your time being around him. Two, he seems to be genuinely asking spend more time with you. And, to be honest, after the silence between the two of you was broken, that was also the most productive you've been in a while. And it probably wouldn't hurt to actually collaborate with him instead of trying to compete with him. Just as you began to fear you were taking too long to respond, Mark pulls his hands out of his pockets and puts them up in the universal "I'm harmless" pose, "you don't have to, I just thought I'd ask-" "sure." You cut him off before he can try to answer his question for you. He looks at you with what can only be described as gleeful shimmer in his eyes and smirked again; this time, though, it didn't have his usual venom behind it. "Yeah?" He asks hopefully. "Yeah." You smile in return, it reaching your eyes this time.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Five

November wears on and turns to December, Christmas lights are strung up across town and the nights get longer, the days colder, and the rain freezes into solid ice on the footpaths, but it doesn’t snow. It never snows, but the bushes, grass and the trees freeze anyway, white against a woollen sky, standing as ballerinas poised, delicate branches like fingers reaching outwards. 

In the weeks leading up to Christmas I work hard on all of my college projects as their deadlines approach, spending every spare moment between those in the computer lab working on my digital illustrations or in the library researching contemporary art practising my figure drawing obsessively. I do it everywhere now, undeterred by the cold, determined to get the best grade in the class because if I’m not good at drawing, then what else do I have to show for myself? 

Dean, as promised, has laid off on his harsh comments. We work more constructively now as a payoff for me showing him how to use Photoshop. He still tells me when aspects of my work need improvement, but he’s stopped using words like “terrible”, “awful” and “lazy” to describe them now, which is a win for me. Sometimes, even, I don’t mind when he’s around. 

One of the girls from our year throws a house party to celebrate the end of the term once we’ve submitted all of our work. She lives in this horrible little red brick terrace in the west of the city where nobody ever seems to clean the floors or pick up after themselves. The ceilings are so low that tall people have to hunch over when they stand up, and the living room carpet is littered with old tea mugs with cigarette butts in them. A tower of empty beer cans is stacked up triumphantly against the wall behind their television, and every shelf of the old pine bookcase is filled with empty bottles. 

“We keep meaning to clean it up.” She confesses to me. “But then we keep having more house parties and people keep messing it up again, so it hardly seems like there’s a point.” Later on when I follow Marnie outside for her cigarette I notice that they don’t have any wheelie bins either. The back garden is stuffed with piles of black bags, of weeks and months of rubbish shoved out of sight and out of mind, and I shudder to think about what is living among it. My skin crawls, with the image of rats and earwigs and woodlice wriggling in the soil, so I go back inside. 

“Evie.” Says Dean, who is sitting on a battered couch, eyes locked to the TV screen with a playstation controller in his hands. “Do you want to play Mario Kart?” 

“I’m not good at games.” I say. “I never had brothers to teach me how.”

“That’s ridiculous.” States a girl from my art history class who’s playing on one quarter of the screen, “There’s nothing about video games that’s prohibitive for women. You don’t need a man to give you permission to learn how to play.”

“Yeah my point was that I never had a playstation.” 

“So you haven’t played Mario Kart?” Dean says accusingly, driving his character, a toadstool mushroom with a squeaky voice sideways up a ramp. 

“I have.” I insist, remembering summer days with Shane and Kelly where they’d inevitably end up beating each other black and blue with their controllers while I drove my character off the side of a cliff over and over again until I started crying and their mam came in to switch the console off. 

“Here.” says a guy, handing me his controller as he gets off the couch and goes into the kitchen, and I have no choice but to take it and start to play as the game counts down to the next race. I’m shaky, and my fingers are hesitant, but I get the hang of it quickly, and after a minute I remember how to play the way that I used to. 

After a few races, I dare say, I actually start to have fun. 

“You’re doing well.” Dean says, even when I’m coming eleventh out of twelveth. It’s nice to be distracted by something so that I can’t focus on my social anxiety, or think too hard about how I’m coming across to all of these people. The girl sitting to my left gets invested in me, and starts cheering encouragingly every time I pass another player out, and even though I finish in fifth place, I feel happy in the end, because she’s happy. And Dean’s happy too. He smiles at me as though he feels proud, and he grabs my shoulder and jostles me like I’m one of the boys, and then somebody comes up to him and says something that I can’t hear over the loud music and he says “yeah, alright.” and goes upstairs. 

At midnight I find Marnie drinking in the bathroom. I don’t mean to walk in on her, but she leaves the door unlocked and instead of using the toilet she’s sitting on the edge of the grubby bath with the girl whose party this is and they’re sharing a bottle of wine between them. 

“Oh sorry.” I say, as I barge in, and they tell me to come and join them, and so I do, and take a swig from the wine which doesn’t taste very nice, but I don’t suppose it’s really meant to. I put the lid of the toilet down and sit there.

“We were having a chat about the people in NCAD.” Marnie says to me, and when she’s drinking like this, her accent sounds so posh that it’s hard to believe that she can ever pull off a neutral one during the day. “Fiona says that none of them are much good at art at all, and that it’s all shallow, and that they don’t truly get what art is.”

“I didn’t say that exactly.” The other girl, Fiona, says. “I was saying that there are people who are good artists, but there’s nobody that makes me go like, ‘wow’, do you know what I mean?” 

I shrug, considering how I must be included in this list of mediocre students, and it brings my feelings of inadequacy back to the fore. “There are some good people.” I say, trying to sound more detached from the conversation than I really feel. “And maybe it’s too early to tell. People are just doing their best and getting comfortable, we probably shouldn’t be too harsh.” 

“Well I was saying to her,” Marnie goes on “That I think there is someone brilliant in our year.”

“Who?”

“Your favourite blonde boy, Dean Cullen.” She says to me, “I think his work is spectacular.”

“He’s okay.” I say begrudgingly, and Marnie nudges Fiona and points to me. “She has a problem with him.” and it’s as though I’m somehow not able to hear her. “She thinks he’s mean about her art.”

“That was weeks ago.” I protest. “It’s fine now.”

“His work is good.” Fiona shrugs, and then a smirk comes over her face. “But he looks like the walking dead. Do you think that he ever goes to sleep?” 

“No.” Marnie says, seizing the wine bottle from me and having a long, luxurious slug. “He told me before that he has to work in the evenings to cover his rent and fees. He’s from Coolock.” They exchange a look between them and I don’t know what it means. 

“What does that mean, he’s from Coolock?” I ask her, and she laughs. “It means he’s from, like, a working class area, he can’t afford to go to college with his own money.”

“Oh. Doesn’t he get any government aid?”

“No they don’t let you have it if you’ve done a degree before.” Fiona says. “And he did a Media degree already so that’s why he’s a cook in some pizza restaurant. I bet he stays up all night after work trying to get his work done.”

“That makes me feel sorry for him a bit.” Says Marnie, although she barely sounds it. “I’m a fan of the exhausted look, though, I have to say. He’s got that sexy, eye bag thing going on, staying up all night is doing wonders for him.” 

“Ew, no.” Fiona snickers. “Hooking up with Dean Cullen would feel like charity work. Imagine going back to his house, there’d be like, a burned out motorbike in the grass in front of it. I can’t stand the idea of even getting the bus to that part of town.”

The palms of my hands prickle with a sudden flash of annoyance. “I’m working class.” I tell her. “My dad works in a factory and  like, I needed financial aid to afford college, and if it wasn’t for that I might be working in a restaurant as well.” 

Her eyebrows shoot up underneath her fringe, but Marnie doesn’t even miss a beat. “Yeah but it’s different with you.” And then she doesn’t get to explain how because her hand slips off the bath and she falls backwards into it in shrieks of alarm, and as Fiona tries to help her up I get up and start to leave. 

“Evie.” Marnie says from the bath. “Can I stay at yours tonight? My parents will go mad at me if I come home drunk.”

“Yeah, okay.” I say, and I go down into the kitchen and start looking for something else to drink. 

Prev // Next

[instituteslosttapes]

S̵̲͒t̸͇͊̍a̶͓͗͆͜t̶̢͙͌e̶̦͝m̸̖̽̚ĕ̸̟̞n̷̞̣̂̚t̵͍̮̓ ̸̘̚#̸̱͘1̴̨̏0̴̢̓9̷̡̤̓̕5̸̧̔͝8̶̭͈̈́

Tw:

*bugs

*things crawling under skin

Statement of Abigail Hersh. Regarding her time working with Associate Professor Alessio Giordano in the summer of 2014. Original statement given the 19th of January, 2014. Audio Recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus institute, London.

Statement begins

I was never a squeamish child, or a squeamish adult for that matter. Things like dirt, bugs, mold, hell even death never bothered me. As a child I used to keep track of all the roadkill I would see on the side of the road, sometimes I would even walk through the woods in the hopes of finding a decaying animal so that I could take its bones home and add them to my small collection that I had stashed in my closet so my mother wouldn’t find them. I would scour the shelves at my local library for books on taxidermy, embalming, all of the things that a well adjusted child such as myself would be interested in.

I started working with Professor Giordano in 2014 after completing my undergraduate degree in anthropology. I was excited to work with them, you see, my university was one of the few with a Dermestid lab on site and I had always wanted to see them work up close, so when Professor Giordano offered me a temporary position in their lab for the summer I couldn’t pass it up. Now, I wish I had though. My job was simple, I was to keep track of what the Dermestids currently had in their tank and make sure that I swapped them out with something else so that the Dermestids didn’t start to eat the bones. It was easy, and fascinating. I didn’t see a lot of Professor Giordano while I worked there, which I didn’t think was that odd. I had never seen much of Professor Giordano even when I was taking one of their classes. You see it was online and they had only ever reached out to me in email. I saw Professor Giordano once, but never saw their face. They had directed me to where I was going to be working and instructed me on a few things all with their back turned to me. Which wasn’t that much of a red flag, I have anxiety too and sometimes it's hard for me to make eye contact with people so I just assumed that they were extremely socially awkward which didn’t bother me.

I only saw Professor Giordano a few times after that, it was usually in passing when I was coming in to start my shift and they would quickly shuffle into their office at the back of the lab and shut the door behind them. The work was actually quite boring, I would spend most of my time scrolling on my phone or applying for Master programs on my computer, occasionally taking breaks to watch the Dermestids work. They are fascinating creatures, they will eat all of the skin, meat, muscles and tendons left on bones until they are perfectly clean and ready to be bleached. The job was fine, I liked it and it was a good way to make a little bit of money and I didn’t really get any grief from Professor Giordano for being on my phone or things like that. So many people would have killed to have the type of job I did, even my friends told me so. I wish one of them had gotten it instead of me. I know that sounds awful to say but If you had seen what I had you would understand! You would get why I would have rather had it been anyone but me.

Professor Giordano had sent me home early one day, they said that they had an emergency to attend to and that they couldn’t leave me alone in the lab so I had to pack up my things and go home. They looked like they were in a rush so I tried my best to get all of my things together quickly and get out of there… It wasn't until later that I realized I had left my laptop behind and I had to go back and get it. I was working on my application for my masters degree and the deadline was for that next morning so I had no choice but to hope that the doors were still unlocked and I would be able to go back and get it. I went back as soon as I had noticed it was missing, by then it was almost five o’clock and most of the staff had left the buildings already. I went directly to the lab, there were still some of the other professors there so I didn’t really rouse any suspicions as I walked towards the Demestrids lab. It was dark in there when I finally got there, and at first I didn’t think that the door would be unlocked but I tried it, and to my surprise it was so I went inside and that's when I saw it. I saw Professor Giordano, at least… what I thought was Professor Giordano, it- it looked like them, but it couldn’t have actually been them. P-people don’t… People don’t look like that. They were missing an eye and there were holes and- and abscesses all over their face and I swear to God that I could see something moving under their skin. I tried to speak, I tried to ask them if they were okay, if they needed help or needed me to call for an ambulance but they didn’t say anything. They opened their mouth and a thousand of those… those beetles poured out of their mouth and began to come towards me.

Before I knew it they were scuttling up my legs, under my clothing and I could feel them biting me. I screamed and thrashed as Professor Giordano or… or whatever they were started coming towards me. Limbs jerking and body twitching as if they were controlled by something other than themselves. Almost like they were possessed. I think at some point I passed out, because when I woke up I was alone again, Professor Giordano wasn’t there and when I looked at myself I was completely unharmed… There were no bugs and the beetles in the lab were still in their dedicated cases. I grabbed my laptop and ran out of there. I never went back.

I'm sorry about the blood… I just can’t stop scratching.

Statement ends

We attempted to contact Ms. Hersh for a follow up statement but were unsuccessful. We did confirm however that an Alessio Giordano did indeed work at the state university in the years which Ms. Hersh attended, but is no longer employed there and we can’t find any other trace of them since then. It appears as if they have disappeared.

Recording ends.

[umeoniii]

OMG im very sorry about that ask being deleted😭😭 it was me who sent it and im ngl i forgot what i requested in there🥺 bc i have shit memory

but if i can request again for the college au, would it be okay for it to be about where hange and reader meet in college but have different majors, though they have a big mutual friend group and thats how they met, but i do remember it was hcs of reader and hange being in college together and just being a cutesy couple <33 (i think..) if im wrong then this is embarrassing but please do write what makes you comfy! i’ll love it either way 🫶🏼🫶🏼

hange meeting their lover at college hcs

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡••ʕ•̫͡•

okay so i feel like she'd be the outgoing nerdy person

hange was REALLY into her studies, she barley went to parties, trips, practically almost didn't have the college experience bes school was more important

she definitely majored something involving technology or science, maybe like computer science, chemistry, physics something that peaks her interests. she had very few friends, associates yeah a lot, but she wasn't like super popular and stuff. either way she's very sociable and friendly which is very good, very nice. moblit, erwin and levi would probably be her only friends and like tbh it looked odd to others. (there were definitely some rumors at once 🫣)

anyways one day she met you through a friend that you both knew. you went up to her bcs you just saw her doing her work at a table in the cafe on campus, you initiated the convo by asking where she came from, her major so on and so forth. lowkey you were slick with it too, bcs deep down you desired to know more about this mysterious hange, it was planned from the start, you even asked your friends for advice.

anyways she talked with you and ended up spiraling about endless nerdy stuff and you just admired her while she talked about it. you were lowkey intrigued. she eventually apologized, then you found the right way to get her number.

"we can continue this convo another time, here's my number" you smiled she was vv happy about it because she finally had another friend! no more of the same 3 men everyday! yay!

this was the start of something wonderful, quickly you became her best friend (sorry moblit :(. ) you guys did everything together, you visited her at her job as a lab assistant and she’d visit you at your job as a cashier at a department store. you two would go hang out at the arcade, local restaurants. she'd take you out to the beach, you'd help her study, you guys would play videos games together. literally everything, you guys were the best of friends.

everyone was literally so surprised when they saw she had another friend that she was oh so close to. they were happy for you guys though!

one day you came to terms that maybe you liked your bestfriend in more than a friendly way. and it ATE YOU UP. you didn't know if they felt the same way, you didn't know if it would screw things up. you were so scared to even look at hange :(

she noticed and got worried one day and asked you if you were alright and if you wanted to stay at her apartment and study. you obliged obvi but was still shaking in your boots. you complimented her over and over and she kept saying "aww thank you, i love you so much too” and it finally became your last straw and you told her how you felt. how you actually felt. she got really flushed and explained how she felt the same way but just didn't know how to tell u. it ended with you guys sharing a sweet somber kiss and making your relationship official! you also stayed over her apartment ;)

you guys told everyone about it, your friend groups basically combined lowkey. you guys still studied together. hange would always surprise you with dinner after a long day of classes and you guys would head straight back to her apartment to chill.

she'd take you out on sweet dates, she even goes to parties now just for you.

she literally loves u so much and wouldn’t change what college she goes to for the world.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡••ʕ•̫͡•

a/n! sorry this wasn’t really in hc format or wtv, also it’s all good anon! i liked writing this one, and you guys can request as much as you guys want. i LOVE writing, im not in a creative writing class for naught ><

[cassieloveswhump]

Okay, so fun fact, when I was in third grade, there was this girl in my class. She didn’t have good hygiene, and would constantly lick the places she had ezcema/leave snack crumbs on her desk, and she’d eat in class and misbehave. Except for that. she was actually pretty nice. Third grade me was new to the school and most of my classmates never bothered telling me where the library and computer lab and self study room was but she did, and she’d be willing to partner with me. However the class hated her and would avoid touching her to extreme levels like it’s the plague in Wonder, and the thing is none of the teachers really did a thing to stop it because 1. she wasn’t a straight a model student and 2. she did have a bad habit of being unhygienic. It’s not a valid reason to bully someone like that, but the teachers never stopped it and just told her to wash her hands more, so she transferred. The thing is, there were several people in my class who’d feel bad, including me, but if anyone went near her they’d be treated like they had the plague too. I’m pretty ashamed of this, but I never did dare publicly stand up for her given that my best and only friend hated her and told me I was weird and disgusting to give her a chance. That’s what actual bullying looks like. It’s not black and white. None of the class ever actually shoved her or laughed at her or did the stereotypical bully things in books, but they did create an environment in which she couldn’t befriend or be close to anyone. It sucked. And when she left, I became the new target. Again, there was no getting shoved into lockers or getting my books wrecked or anything stereotypical. One day my friend just ghosted me and acted like I was the plague, and after a while the entire class refused to partner with me for anything. I’d catch some people rolling their eyes when I asked/answered questions in class, and I saw my friend point at me and laugh with a few other classmates once, then immediately run away when I accidentally came close. It took me 4 years and through a friend who felt bad for me to find out that she’d spread rumors about me being manipulative and a delinquent, and she’d say stuff like “ oh I bet you still can’t have a good relationship with (deragatory nickname she knew I hated), but then I suppose that’s impossible even for saints”. Even now I don’t know if I deserved it. That’s what psychological warfare is like. You don’t know if you deserved it, if you made it up, if you’re being insensitive.

no piece of teen media has ever accurately depicted the quiet psychological warfare of bullying. bullies on TV are always dumb brutes and not the evil geniuses of emotional manipulation that they are in real life. being given a wedgie and having your lunch money stolen is nothing in comparison to a classmate quietly creating a taboo against speaking to you that they intend to enforce against all the other kids. it’s nothing like continuous cutting comments from people you thought were being nice to you. that way that the work of one kid can make you feel like every person on earth silently hates you and that you are dirty, disgusting, worthless, creepy and useless. that you can have friends but many of them will not speak to you at school for fear of the social consequences on their end. how that damage lasts in any social setting for the rest of your life

[williszhang]

I hated growing up in Howard County Maryland, and I still hate it

Mom raised me never to say the word hate. But after lab testing words like "loathe", "detest," "abhor"... "hate" is the most precise, respectfully.

tl;dr there is a lack of accessible third places where I grew up that makes life absolutely suffocating

Let me get the subjective points out of the way because, at the core, that is what colors my entire view. I had a very happy childhood in Cockeysville but our family moved to Woodstock next to Ellicott City when I was in middle school. The Baltimore suburbs were both "more suburban" (lots of forests) and lower-middle class than the area we moved into, but I felt so much loss when we moved. My parents, to their credit, were not helicopter parents and left us to figure out what to do, but this probably wasn't the right parenting style for the challenges I would have.

Objective point 1: incentives to live in isolated areas

We moved into a McMansion Lite single family, a decision that singlehandedly made me swear never to buy single family in my lifetime. It wasn't even that bad cuz right outside the subdivision were sidewalks that took you to...idk, friends, Waverly commerce, playgrou- aha! There are literally no playgrounds to walk to unless you're half a mile from the elementary school. This is a planning choice and one that has surprising cascading effects you only realize after you've moved to communities that have the amenity (more kids, more family socializing, more walking, etc.)

Howard County does have places with those amenities, ie., Columbia Association. Except! People who live there would rather be in the more prestigious school districts if they had the choice. CA has very nice amenities: trails to walk anywhere, access to Blandair, Lake Elkhorn, Lakefront, heck lakes everywhere!

But the "desirable" districts are like Clarksville and Marriottsville which are in Bumbleheck™ Nowhere. Back in the day the fastest way to get to my school friends would be to bike on MD-99. I consider myself a trendsetter because many people do this now, but back in 2003 when I did it I was the only one, and my mom was rationally incredibly terrified. People have bad incidents and there are no sidewalks at all. So in actuality, I spent the majority of my middle school hours depressed in front of the computer with the unfettered Internet.

Objective point 2: overrated

"HCPL voted 5-star library system" "Wallethub's top livable community" "Progressive ideals" "Cultural landmarks for diversity and history" "Best schools in Maryland"

I actually don't have a problem with the last assertion: by all accounts the school programs are great (barring recent transportation issues). But let's go through the others.

HCPL should be ashamed. I'm not even talking about the proposed thing next to Whole Foods. Spring Break just passed and during that week, HCPL cancelled and renegged all events. Not a single thing for kids or community members to do that week. MCPL in contrast on any given day had 50-some odd events across the system. There's a likely reason: the staff takes a spring break to coincide with the school schedule. But that just reveals how little robustness there is in the system. The library should provide for the most vulnerable in the community whose families can't afford nice spring break programs. Utter failure.

Oh and before pointing to HoCo rec as the alternative, you pay out the nose for membership. MoCo rec is free with better facilities (but this is punching down).

Livable. Progressive. Anecdote: I was shocked when we had coed physical education in middle school. In Baltimore, I'll just say it, we had real physical education. Boys did pushups regularly. There were wrestling units. Weight lifting. Gymnastics. I just didn't think I could handle the pretentiousness of coed archery and wiffleball when I landed in Howard County, I just wasn't ready. Yes, gender distinction is a pretty sensitive topic now but the need for boys to be challenged...I felt was a miss.

The progressivism seems like such a hypocritical veneer when the slogan at the time was "Choose Civility." Such a dog whistle. Howard County is decidedly upward middle class or adjacent. If you don't own a car you don't have an existence.

In terms of culture and landmarks, the literal landmark in our district was the snowball stand. I just .... please just go visit a real mixed use lot and then come talk to me.

There was an attempt to put on an "Asian Night Market" event at the Fairgrounds and it was so awful it was on every news outlet: people stuck on Interstate 70 for hours, and vendors not prepared to distribution. There is clearly demand for the bored masses to want to have fun things but the infrastructure isn't there to support it.

Here are what the county thinks are the culture areas: downtown EC and lakefront. Historic EC... could be so much better!! There is so little room for people to congregate and yet the cars cut through endangering anyone who might want to space out. I'd rather hang out in Kentlands (whose road network is decidedly tempered) during a hurricane than suffer through downtown EC on a perfect day.

Oh and let's talk about lakefront. Recall my BS-meter raging when the society only endorses its version of progressivism or diversity. It seems like the county actively wants to punch young people in the dick: you're not allowed to dance at the lakefront, and you're not allowed to be at the mall after 6 without an adult.

The lakefront is so lamentably sad now, which I'll explain in another point below.

Objective point 3: Route 40 is the ugliest ugly to ever ugly on this side of ugly

And recently designated a new cultural landmark!

Route 40 deserves its own hate section. It's possible most locals would agree with the statement that the Route 40 corridor is the heart and soul of Ellicott City.

And yet if you told a naive tourist that and dropped them there, what reaction would you expect? I think you'd get a resounding "double you tee eff."

what's the difference?

This is just such a perfect specimen of American commercial sprawl, way too perfect <🤌chef's kiss>. This area espouses what creed? "To be here, you must consume."

Where do you hang out? Like where can you kick it with friends? When I hung out with bethel kids it was in front of McD or Checkers, which were fun and affordable, but overall it did seem like in order to socialize you need to spend money, consume, and drive. I'm being completely serious when I unironically think the best third place option is the center with Sprouts Market. There's sidewalks you can walk between smoothie, gamestop, wingstop, and some chipotle.

You may have thought, "Oh! Not the center with Honeypig and trendy Cafe June?" Well to get between those places you need to first get run over by 3 minor arterials, and yea none of these businesses (even Roggenart) bother with outdoor seating cuz....... freaking Route 40.

Objective point 4: things have gotten worse

I'm lying, things have gotten so much better since I've been a kid. So many more fun places to eat and hang out.

But some bulwarks of why Howard County is "worth it" are starting to shake. Buses are failing to pick up kids so kids end up missing school. What? Turf Valley home invasion and kids mugged at Waverly pool in broad daylight. Excuse me? What's even the point of living in this desolate suburb then if we dealing with "city" problems 🤣🤣

The lakefront is a shell of what it was and can be. This past Sunday was the most amazing weather and... absolutely no one was at the lakefront. The "coolest" thing there is Whole Foods where the whole point is to get in and out with your food. The pub on the corner has no outdoor seating. No one patronizing any of the (checks notes) four businesses. I won't explicitly punch down with the infinite examples of peer counties proactively stimulating cultural life, but I've already ranted in the above points about how everything reeks of proactive suppression of life and frankly NIMBYism of folks probably just not allowing more business and development.

In conclusion

Please do not read "Howard county is the worst." It is not. It is a very decent place to live. Which just speaks to American standards of living tbh. This is squarely a personal write-up of why I hate Howard County. Over the years I got NUMTOTed to high heaven and finally have the vocabulary to identify the childhood dissonance.

My happiest memories are here. Would I have gotten into bboying without the boredom? Would I have become a Christian without the quirky friends and desolation? Would I have crumbled in the face of crazier competition of high-achieving Chinese kids in Montgomery County? How much of the neurosis is simply a function of my family culture regardless of where I lived? Did the gentle and stable environment allow me to ultimately thrive and succeed? The answer to these counterfactuals could fall on either side.

[changingplumbob]

Pancakes Household: Chapter 8, Part 4

In this part the eldest Pancake begins high school, unfortunately on career day. Then it's a trip to the dog part, despite the rain, because Bob needs to drum up customers!

Bob: Your mother said you wanted to chat, is everything okay?

Iggy: Yeah dad. It’s just..

Bob: You’re not just a boy?

Iggy: Wait what? How did you know

Bob: The make up was a clue. How did you do that eyeliner? The lashes are superb

Iggy: Thanks dad, youtube had tutorials. So today I’m feeling pretty non-binary, but that will change, and change again. It’s called being genderfluid, today I fit they/them pronouns

Bob: I’m glad you wanted to share who you are with me. Give your old dad a hug. Best of luck with your first day, I’m proud of you no matter what, got it?

Iggy: Got it. Thanks dad, I love you

First day of High School! Iggy sets out to find where on earth the principal is. Turns out he’s in the computer science class talking with the class 2 teacher.

Iggy: Hi, are you Mr Amarinth?

Mr A: Yes I am, how can I help you?

Iggy: Well it’s my first day and I’m not really sure what I should be doing

Mr A: Ah, you’re Mr Pancakes. Well, first up check for a locker, claim the one you want

Iggy: I’m not exactly-

Mr A: Then go find your teacher, she’s around here somewhere. It’s her job to let you know what is going on

Iggy: Okay but if we could swing back to-

Mr A: Now Mr Pancakes I do not have time to talk all day, important principal stuff

Iggy: *sighs* sure sir

Iggy went off to search the halls feeling somewhat deflated. They know that when their parents enrolled them they had put male student. Their parents hadn’t known then so Iggy couldn’t blame them. And judging from Mr A’s tone, he was not interested in getting to know the student body. They could only hope that their class teacher would be more understanding.

Iggy finally finds the person they’re looking for in the actual computer lab. Mustering their high confidence back together, they go over to introduce themselves.

Iggy: Hello, I think I’m your new student

Mrs Tinker: Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. I was told I was getting a new student but Mr Amarinth didn’t elaborate beyond that

Iggy: Oh, well… My name, at least for now, is Iggy. And Mr A didn’t have time to listen but I do prefer they/them pronouns

Mrs T: No problem. Let me know if anything changes and I’ll do my best to keep up

Iggy feels some relief at this. At least some adult at this school seems supportive.

Mrs T: Come on, come on, we’re already late starting

Amie: Sorry miss

Mrs T: Social studies. What is social studies really but the science of people?

Iggy does their best write notes and listen but they’re really trying to think up a new name. One that will fit them better, no matter which gender they feel like on any particular day. Their mind goes through all the books they read as a kid, wondering if any of them had suitable names. How did parents decide what their kids should be called anyway?

Iggy: What options do we have? Any Monte Cristo in stock?

Naveah: This isn’t the Ritz kid. We have slider options and tray options

Iggy: Then I’ll have some veggie sliders please…

Naveah: Oh I’m Naveah

Iggy: What a cool name! Maybe I should go with a colour

Iggy moves to a table and ponders this where Amie finds them.

Amie: Hey Ig, you ready

Iggy: Ready for what

Amie: It’s career day

Iggy: But we’re only 13, what can we possibly know about careers

Amie: That’s why we have it I guess

Career day and Iggy sped through the career check ins to make sure the teacher would stay off their back. Not that Mrs Tinker seemed like she would be harsh but Iggy was certainly not ready to start imagining adult life, they’d only just become a teenager after all.

After Iggy had checked in Mrs Tinker they drifted over to the arcade game where they were soon joined by friends Darwin and William.

William: Yo Igs, you found something cool?

Iggy: I guess, hard to find anything in all this clutter

Darwin: It’s to “inspire our young minds”

The three teens burst into laughter as Darwin’s impersonation and try their best to figure out how to work such archaic technology.

William: You thought of a new name yet

Darwin: I still vote Chaos the Destroyer

William: Dude, no. We're not characters in a video game

Iggy: Did you know our cafeteria lady is called Naveah? That’s cool right

Darwin: So you gonna steal her name

Iggy: No but it’s got me thinking about non traditional names. I can’t do standard gender neutral names because the save already has a Kelly, Charlie, Devin, Alex

William: Just don’t go calling yourself something like apple

Darwin: Oh, how about peach? If you’re thinking colours

William: Dude you are not serious

Iggy: Pretty sure I want something that’s not going to make me sound like a stripper

Darwin: Oh… yeah I hear that now

William: I mean, you read a shoot ton of books, there must be something in there that sounds cool

Iggy: Good point!

Darwin: How about Katniss

William: Pretty sure the idea is to sound less gendered

Darwin: and your cis self knows about that do you

William: It’s called being helpful dude, try it some time

William walks off despite Darwin insisting he is being helpful actually.

Darwin: Whatever you pick Pancakes, we’ll use. Flick us a text when you figure it out

Iggy: Thanks, you’ve given me stuff to think about. I think I have a top three now

Darwin: Sweet. Next time you see William tell him I am actually helpful

After school Bob and Iggy head to the park. Bob wants to see if a bake sale at a community lot will result in more customers so Iggy is here to keep Ginger occupied.

Bob: Are you going to be okay here

Iggy: Dad, I’m not 5, I’ll be fine

Bob: If anyone looks at you funny send them to me, I’ll slip an extra something into their fudge slice

Bob sets up but with the rain his gloomy self is not optimistic about the turn out. After filling an empty bowl for Ginger, Iggy sits down to do their homework. Fergus is off at drama club but there’s no cheer practice today.

Ginger is happily snacking away when I notice Clover is here watching. A quick scan about the park shows that Kaori has brought her. Despite the rain Bob has a line at his stall before too long. It’s the best way to move the baking that he has had to do to level his skill, if sims buy.

Iggy: Okay Ginger, that’s my homework all done. Time to practice some cheer

Ginger: *yaps* Umm what about me

Iggy: Do you want to play huh? I suppose this is technically the dog park

Ginger: *yaps* damn right it is

Ginger: *yaps* tell me your problems human, I’m smart, I shall solve

Iggy: Well I had a bunch of name ideas, how do parents pick names? There’s so many

Ginger: *yaps* beats me

Iggy: But I think I’ve found one that… well I’m kind of in love with, so that’s a good thing right

Ginger: *yaps* indeed, tell me your new identity

Onyx: I’m Onyx *laughs* yeah, I’m Onyx

Ginger yaps her approval and after a snuggle Onyx begins trying to teach her how to fetch.

Bob manages to get a steady stream of sims throughout the afternoon despite the downpour. When Fergus arrives from drama cub he eagerly dives into the playground, despite things being slippery. For the most part Onyx and Ginger manage to stay under cover but for some of the longer throws they have to brave the rain. With Eliza’s shift almost done the family pack up and head home.

Eliza: How was the first day of high school then?

Onyx: Mixed bag. The principal was quite busy but my classroom teacher, Mrs Tinker, seems nice. She agreed to use my pronouns

Eliza: As she should

Onyx: But we only got one class then it was career day

Bob: Oh I’ve done a few of those

Onyx: I wish you had been there today dad, the speakers were so boring. I didn’t want to do any of the options

Eliza: You’re still young, you’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out

Onyx: I have figured out something though. A name that sounds more… me

Bob: What is it?

Onyx: I was thinking… Onyx. Although I won’t mind Nyx for short

Eliza: Onyx… I like it

Bob: Definitely better than a name I could come up with. You know when you were born I wanted to call you-

But luckily Bob sees Eliza shaking her head and stops that sentence before he spills the beans.

Fergus: You should have picked a cuss word, it would have been hilarious

Eliza: Fergus, Onyx doesn’t need a hilarious name. They want a name that suits them

Fergus: But imagine the prank possibilities!

Onyx: Aren’t you meant to be proper

Fergus: Sometimes

Onyx: Look I just wanted to say, to all of you really, thank you for accepting who I am

Bob: Kid, we love you. That’s what family does

Onyx: Not all family. I know how lucky I am to have you, that’s all

That night Eliza tries shooing Ginger before she and Bob woohoo but Ginger is feeling clingy and refuses to leave the room. Pets.

Fergus: Hey Onyx, I was wondering…

Onyx: Is this a real question or a nonsense question

Fergus: Well now I want to ask two questions

Onyx: Fine, go ahead

Fergus: Can I have your old bike AND what do sheep wear to the beach?

Onyx: Sure and I don’t know, what do they wear

Fergus:  A BAAkini, get it

Onyx: Yeah I’m not using that in my future comedy sets

Eliza: Morning kids

Fergus: Hey Mother, can I have some help

Eliza: What with

Fergus: Well some kid in my class was giving out birthday gifts. As in, it was their birthday so they got each of us a gift

Eliza: Hold on Fergus, your dad and I do not have the money to do that

Fergus: I’m not asking you to. Anyway mine sucks. What do I do? Try to enjoy it? Give it back?

Eliza: Tell you what, you give it to me and I’ll return it to the store. Then you can get something else

Fergus: Genius

Previous Part ... Next Part

[starlostseungmin]

— [ 1AM ] it’s probably because of the coffee, ksm.

pairing — college student!seungmin x gn!reader

genre — fluff, mutual pining, college au

warnings — academic stress, coffee and alcohol consumption, mild swearing, stealing (seungmin lowkey stole from the vending machine), not proofread

words — 2.2k

this is an entry for 24/8 drabble event hosted by @neo-shitty. i just wanted to thank you for making this collab and i had fun writing this as well ^^ i made a few changes from yesterday, just basically the ending and title, which this got longer than i expected, got carried away though! i hope you guys like it! ♡

1:00 AM

sounds of crickets echoed through the quiet night where almost everyone was asleep, probably, but not you at least. crumpled papers scattered from the study table to the floor, the screen of your laptop illuminates the dark, messy bedroom of yours, pens resting on each top of your ears, a purple highlighter on one hand, and a 20-page paper stapled together on the other. it wasn’t just a typical exam—a presentation-type of exam, a power point being presented in front and a summarization of your selected topic, everything to make you work under pressure. the cursor stopped at the unfinished sentence from the very first paragraph you made, and no progress from the last ten minutes. it keeps blinking ever since. 

listening to the sounds of nature with the window open as the curtains swayed welcoming the breeze of cool air made you shiver. glancing at the time plastered on the lock screen of your phone, it was 1 a.m. sharp. no wonder why it got so chilly as if it wasn’t the first time you stayed up all night for the sake of your grades. but in this case, you can’t sleep either. not because of the pressure that the exam has been putting a heavy load on your shoulders, but because of what happened a few days ago. 

a stupid, cliché, drunk confession. 

groaning at the embarrassment, your palm reached your cheeks with a loud smack, wincing in pain. 

“fuck!” 

it was hyunjin’s idea, that inviting you to a nearby pub after a 7 p.m. class should be a so-called celebration for the semester ending in 2 weeks. but screw your best friend, he’s a traitor. the plan of ditching the invitation didn’t come into place when you knew he was going to be very disappointed. you knew seungmin’s gonna be there, and the rest of the boys as well. hesitating won’t do you any good, but you deserve a nice weekend, starting with alcohol. 

and a decision to regret later. 

truth or dare while under the influence of the intoxicating liquor was a bad idea. choosing the truth is even worse. seungmin fell into silence, he was sober as you were drunk. the construction of words into sentences was like begging him to like you back. you even cried while confessing to him in front of the pub and vomited on the street. hyunjin had to take you back to the dorms and dismissed everyone. 

crumpling the sheets of paper aggressively out of embarrassment, you had to grab your hoodie lying on your bed and left your desk unattended. you took a deep breath the moment you stepped out of the dorms, hoping to have peace and forget about everything. the university is just a few meters away from the building. it wasn’t actually forbidden to pull an all-nighter in the library or the computer lab. even the classrooms are free to use even at the early times of the day and it was past midnight anyway. 

shoving your hands inside the pockets of your hoodie, you reached the arts and sculpture classroom. the pieces you had left on your own station were not covered neatly, even the drafts were a mess, and the broken pieces of the mold were everywhere. it’s not like you have any passion for arts, but to admit, it was fun when you used to enjoy making something related to it when you were younger but practical choices have to lead you to another major. 

a sigh in disbelief escaped from your lips as you entered the premises and cleaned up your mess. 

“would you mind turning the lights on? it’s pretty dark here.” someone spoke out from the door. 

“sorry?” you asked, holding one trash bag and a useless plaster piece mold, hardened after a long period of time. 

“nevermind,” the person sighed as you heard a click from the wall with the lights on. it was seungmin. “what are you doing here anyway?” he asked, walking towards his table and taking something from its drawers.

“i don’t even know how i ended up here,” you said. “what about you?” 

“i’m just taking a break from studying,” he answered, seeing the book he was looking for. 

“you were in the library?” you asked as he gave you a nod, burying his nose in between the pages. 

“yeah, shouldn’t you be preparing for the fundamentals of law presentation?” he asked, taking the book inside his bag, cleaning his workspace as well, with you being finished. 

“i am,” you sighed. “i just can’t seem to focus and i wanted to sleep but i can’t.” 

“hmm, i see it, do you want some coffee?” he asked, making you look at him in disbelief. 

“are you being serious right now?” 

“yeah, i know i’m not going to sleep anytime soon, i will probably stay up all night. i bet you too?” he chuckled in response which made you scoff. 

“as i said, i was going to sleep but i can’t sleep and you’re asking to drink coffee,” you said but you both ended up in front of a vending machine across the hallway. seungmin read the labels and took a few minutes to decide which one to get while you wait. it wasn’t the first time you decided to be at the university at this hour but it still gives you the creeps after seeing some lights being turned off. blame those horror movies you watch. 

“hey, do you have any money?” he asked out of nowhere, snatching you back to the vending machine which made you check your pockets and realized you forgot everything, even your most precious phone. 

“i left my wallet and my phone in the dorms.” you answered. “don’t you have any?” 

“no, i think i left mine too.” he sighs. 

“what’s in the bag then?” 

“i don’t have my wallet inside my bag y/n.” he sighed as he stared at the machine. “damn, how do we get this thing?” 

seungmin held the machine trying to figure out what to do with it. your eyes roam around to see if someone was there but it was just the two of you in an empty dark hallway with only the light bulb being switched on above the vending machine. seungmin clicked his tongue as he pressed the number of his chosen drink and typed in a code, which you didn’t understand.

“wait! are you hacking the machine?” you asked, startled. 

“no one will know,” he smirked, kicking it with his foot and making two bottles of cold coffee roll down. “nice.” seungmin reached for the bottles when suddenly one of the university’s guards saw what he did. 

“hey! what are you two doing?!” he exclaimed, making the both of you turn in his direction with wide eyes. seungmin handed you one of the drinks, as he grabbed your hand, running away from the guard. “don’t run you, kids!” 

“damn it!” seungmin hissed. 

it happened so swiftly. him, holding your hands seems unimaginable but having to feel his soft palm against yours made you want to stay in that moment for a while. he tried to glance at the back as the guard kept chasing you. thank goodness he is old, but seungmin had to take you out of that building. it made your heart go wild and your hands trembled, feeling cold. his fluffy hair bounced at every step, but his smile of triumph highlighted the feeling of enjoyment. 

through the hallway, to the stairs, and through the grand hall to the pathways outside heading to the track field, both of you stopped in the middle looking from where you came from. the guard just disappeared with no signs of him yelling and running, and no students either. catching his breath, seungmin sat down on the field not minding getting some dirt on his clothes. 

“sit beside me y/n,” he said. 

“you almost got us to detention,” you retorted, taking the space beside him as he opened his own bottle of coffee. 

“live a little,” he chuckled, making you sigh, taking a few gulps from your own drink. “isn’t it the coffee, or was the whole running that made my heart pound?” 

“i say both, you know coffee isn’t always good,” you said which made him smile, looking at the sky filled with stars. 

“it was my first time to do something like that, i mean, han taught me that trick.” he said which made you look at him. “it would’ve been lonely and less the fun without you too,” 

“right,” you said in an awkward tone as a sigh of relief escaped from your lips, trying to think of something better to say. 

crushing on seungmin feels like comfort after a bad day, he doesn’t know how much it melts your heart just hearing his honey-like voice on the fresh opening of spring with dancing cherry blossom trees and guitar strings. it’s one of the best feelings, but it doesn’t happen every day even if you share the same major, political science. 

seungmin finished his coffee as you lay yours half-empty on the side. the thoughts of what happened on that night when you were madly drunk suddenly came back, making you slap yourself. it caught his attention with a bit of amusement on his face. 

“are you okay?” he asked. 

“look, seungmin, i’m sorry for what happened the other night, i was so drunk. i didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” you said with a sigh. “it was so embarrassing of me,” but seungmin smiled and lowered his head, playing with his fingers. 

“it was cute,” he said, making your cheeks start to warm. “i mean, i’m really cool about it y/n. it’s not every day that someone would come to me and say they like me as much as you do. i’m actually happy you told me even if you were drunk. it wasn’t embarrassing at all, it’s a common scenario. besides, it wouldn’t happen if hyunjin didn’t propose the game.” 

“you’re not upset?” you asked, looking at him as he stared back at you, still wearing the cute smile, showing his braces, which you love. he often finds it a hassle and unattractive most of the time. but for you, it shows a perfect smile that could light up a dark night. 

“why would i be upset? well, i was a bit upset because hyunjin dragged you home after that incident, i didn’t get to say something.” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“which is?” you asked. 

“well,” he paused. “i didn’t want to make things get awkward between us just and i’m trying to get it off my head either but i can’t seem to go directly.” 

your heart started to beat faster than usual, you weren’t expecting something in return for your confession but listening to his sentiments made you want to believe something from expectations. seungmin isn’t really expressive with his feelings unless he’s grown emotional, but he’s being different today. 

“what do you mean?” you asked, not taking your eyes from him as he made eye contact. 

“what i’m saying is that if i were drunk as you were, i would probably say the same but i don’t like drinking really,” he smiled which made your cheeks even hotter. it took you a while to say something as you formed a thin line between your lips, taking a deep breath, trying not to do anything stupid. having a drunk confession is enough, no more embarrassing things for you again. 

“is it the coffee or the running earlier that made my heart beat faster?” you said which made him chuckle in response, as it was followed by a peck on your lips, leaving you frozen on the spot. 

“it’s probably because of the coffee,” he smirked. 

“you’ve got to be kidding me,” you told him in disbelief when he just smiled and lay on his back on the ground. 

“who said i was kidding anyway?” 

“it’s just that, i don’t know, that you feel the same?” you said lying beside him, watching the infinite stars illuminate the dark sky. 

“i never lie about my feelings,” he said as he reached out for your hand, intertwining your fingers, pulling you closer to him. “and whenever i say something related to it, i am really sincere, it’s rare y/n.” he smiled.

“well i guess i’m lucky then?” you smiled, making him giggle. 

“can’t say you are but, you’re one of the people whom i care for,” placing a soft kiss on your forehead, seungmin wrapped his arm around your back as you rested your head on his shoulder, staring at the night sky.

“you know what, i would probably stop drinking coffee,” you said. 

“why?” 

“i don’t know, my heartbeat is crazy,” it made seungmin laughed as you were just looking at him, eyes filled with wonder. 

“there are two reasons,” he said. “one, coffee, and two is what you feel about me,” he laughed again. 

“yeah right, my heart is yours anyway,” you smiled as he gave you another peck on the lips, feeling the comfort of the state of affairs.  

taglist: @wolfchanchan @inseonqt @soobin-chois @1-800-lixie @luvhyun3 @hanjiesgf @koovvie @lix-ables @straydestiny @zoe8stay @gwynsapphire — please let me know if you want to be added to my permanent tags (through anon) for future writings ♡

[rebeccccccaaa]

TEᑎᔕIOᑎ

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ᗩGEᗪ ᑌᑭ!ᑭETEᖇ ᑭᗩᖇKEᖇ ᙭ ᖇEᗩᗪEᖇ

ᔕᑌᗰᗰᗩᖇY: You and Peter have always been very flirty and touchy with each other. You chalked it up to just how he is, not that you minded. But what happens when Peter gets hit with Hydra’s infamous sex pollen and all he seems to be doing is moaning your name. 

ᗯᗩᖇᑎIᑎGᔕ: smut of course lol 18+ (virgin kink?, first time!reader, experienced!Peter, etc, unprotected sex cuz i forgot to write that lol be safe though, and a digusting amount of fluff) 

ᗩ/ᑎ: (non/dub con as per usual with sex pollen fics) although i tried to make as consensual as possible 

ᗯOᖇᗪ ᑕOᑌᑎT: 4.0k (i’m so sorry this is so long lmao)

_________________________________________

“We’re back!” Tony shouted, his voice echoing in the building. They had gone on a mission to infiltrate yet another Hydra base.

Peter was currently sitting and watching television and you were watching from the kitchen making two drinks for you and Peter. You both looked to the team walking in before scurrying beside Bruce and Tony who walked straight into the lab. 

“What did you get this time?” you asked excitedly. Sometimes the team brings back really cool things back from missions and in particular the Hydra missions have the coolest things. Unusually, Thor too walked in the lab before you all circled around the table and Tony placed a plant. 

He backs away as did Bruce and Thor so after looking at Peter with wide eyes you both also stepped back. 

“What is it?” Peter whispered.

“A plant,” Thor said.

“Not shit, Goldilocks. What does it do? You told us to take home, now what?” Tony said.

“Well, Man of Iron, it’s a sex pollen plant.”

“A what?” you gasped.

“Most planets use this as a sort of breeding plant; some species don’t really have the… stamina that Midgardians and Asgardians have.”

As Thor explained this, Tony and Bruce huddle away from the plant moving towards the computer to write down notes and data about what Thor was telling them. You followed pursuit also being intrigued by it. 

Unfortunately Peter did not follow and instead moved closer to the plant to take a closer look. The flower was beautiful. The petals were a soft shade of periwinkle and the pollen was yellow almost like gold. The same shade of golden yellow dust swirled around the flower itself. It was hypnotizing. He really wanted to smell it.

Suddenly as Peter got closer just to give it a quick sniff, he could smell an almost overbearing amount of your scent. That delicious scent of vanilla and lavender that you smelled so nicely of. That scent that made Peter want to run his hands through your hair and his nose along your neck. 

“One thing you should never do is inhale its pollen, if one does it could heighten their desires into madness.”

Peter looked up with wide eyes knowing he just did something he probably shouldn't have done. 

“What desires exactly?” Bruce asked.

“Well, sex.”

Peter started coughing.

“Pete are you ok?” you asked walking up to him.

He looked you in your eyes and his own dilated insanely. You backed away slightly concerned for your friend only for him to take a step closer to you. The lab coated with silence analyzing his behavior since it was so unlike him. Tony got up from sitting on a stool and Thor puffed his chest anticipating his next move; he was certain the boy breathed in the plant’s pollen. 

“It smelled just like you,” he whispered close to your face; his hands reaching under your shirt slightly.

The minute he put his hands on you, all three men ran you and Peter. Bruce pulled you behind him while Tony and Thor grabbed Peter dragging him away from you. You felt hot after what Peter had just done; in front of people too. He thrashed in Thor’s and Tony’s grasp, groaning and shouting from them to let him go. 

You felt tears brimming your eyes. You did not like Peter like this. He was crying and begging to be with you, which you’ll admit surprised you. 

“What’s happening to him?” you asked from behind Banner.

“The boy seems to have inhaled the pollen as I said not to do.”

“Yeah I get that! Why is he crying? Is he hurt?” you asked.

“Not exactly, the pollen will affect his mind and simulate pain as if he were to die, but his body will be perfectly fine.”

“What?” you all said at the same time.

“How do we fix it?” Tony asked.

“Y/n, baby. Please,” Peter practically moaned making everyone kind of uncomfortable.

“Well, the only way I’m aware of is, well, sex. And it seems like Peter desires the young lady,” you eyes widened and you shifted under everyone’s stares. 

“No, no way,” Tony said; you were like a daughter to Tony and therefore boys were something he wasn’t too keen on the idea of you having. He still thinks you’re too young even though you’re already a consenting adult. 

“Tony, the boy-”

“No, I’m not letting Y/n do that. We’ll find a different cure. Take him to his room and don’t let him out.”

“Tony, are you sure about this?” Bruce asked Tony.

“Yes I’m sure, Banner. There’s no way in hell I’m putting her in that situation. It’s not fair. Now come on, more time talking, less time finding a cure.”

“Technically there’s already a cure,” Thor muttered. 

“Go!” Tony pushed him out. 

“Is he gonna be ok?” you softly asked, hearing his cries and screams for you as Thor took him to is room.

“He’s gonna be alright, bug,” Tony said, hugging you. 

Steve and Nat both walked in the lab after changing out  of their clothes concerned with all the screaming they had been hearing.

“What happened?” Nat asked.

“Thor had us bring this plant home for analysis and turns out this shit makes anyone who smells the pollen horny as hell.”

“Really? Come on Tony, we heard the kid crying and screaming. What’s really going on?” Steve didn’t believe him at first.

“He wants to… have sex,” Bruce said shyly.

“Wait really?” Nat asked.

“With who?” Steve hesitantly asked curiously.

Tony and Bruce simply look at you, which you curled into yourself feeling embarrassed. 

“Oh no, honey are you ok? Did he do anything?” Nat asked, holding your hand.

“I’m fine, I’m just worried about him.”

“Don’t. We’ll fix this I promise,” Tony said getting to work.

Well now it’s been 8 hours and Peter is still crying and moaning your name. You had been in Nat's room with her, Steve, and Bucky. Sam and Thor had been outside ‘patrolling’ Peter’s room making sure he was as ok as he can be, though it’s been proven that he seems to be in excruciating pain. 

Tony and Bruce had been in the lab the entire day, you’d think they made wonderful progress and found a cure by now but no. All they’ve found was normal samples of Peter’s… everything. He was physically perfectly fine. 

You were very quiet as they played video games and watched movies. You couldn’t help but feel burdened because you knew you could fix all of this. All you needed to do was go to Peter’s room and let him have his way with you. It’s not like you wouldn’t mind. You and Peter have always had this sort of tension and extra friendly behavior between you guys ever since you met. 

To say you hadn’t developed feelings for him would be a huge lie. 

“Are you ok?” Nat asked you.

“No, not really.”

“I know you want to help him but it’s for the better. Let Tony and Bruce find a cure.”

“Actually that won’t be happening anytime soon,” Thor said, walking with Sam. 

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“They haven’t found anything and although Peter will be physically fine, mentally he could be extremely traumatized by the time they find something, if anything. The pollen mimics physical pain until sexual ‘needs’ are fulfilled by the person they desire most,” Thor looked to you at the end. 

“I want to help him,” you said.

“Y/n, that’s not fair to you,” Steve said.

“And it’s not fair to Peter if I don’t help! He didn’t mean to smell the flower. I can't just sit here waiting for nothing to happen when I can go in there and help him!” you argued, “If I don’t, he’ll not only hate you for keeping me away from him but me too for not trying.”

“Don’t be silly, he’d never hate you,” Nat said.

“He will if I’m the reason he’s going to be traumatized for the rest of his life.”

“Come with me,” Nat said, holding your hand.

“Nat,” Steve warned.

“Steve, you and I both know this has to happen. They’re adults,” Nat shot back. 

You followed Nat out of the room. 

“Are you absolutely sure about this? Your first time should be special-”

“First time?” your eyes widen.

“Y/n, I know you're a virgin.”

“I’m not a virgin,” you mumbled.

“Really? When was your first?” she poked.

“It was- was in, it was high school,” you stuttered.

“With who?”

“... Tommy?” you said after a long moment of silence, trying to come up with a name.

“Tommy?” Nat smirked.

“Yeah, he was in my history class,” you lied.

“Ok we’ll work on that,” she said.

“On what?”

“Lying.”

“Hey, virginity is merely a social construct made by men who think their tiny dicks have the ability to change a woman’s life. It’s gonna be like a five second pump; I’ll be in and out,” Nat laughed at that.

��Ok, fine. Follow me.”

You followed her to Peter’s room where his moans and groans got louder with each step you got closer. Truthfully you were a bit nervous about the situation. Sure you did imagine your first to be extra special in a dim lit room with flowers and with someone you love. Well, now it looks like it’s going to be a dark room with your best friend who’s in the room driven by magic sex pollen, but at least you love him. 

You got to the door and Peter instantly knew you were on the other side. His senses overwhelmed him with your scent, your racing heart beat. You exchanged a few words with Nat before she hugged you and left you to go into his room alone. 

You slipped inside and immediately met with Peter crawling on the floor to you in nothing but a pair of boxers; a large prominent tent formed where his dick was. 

“Y/n, you’re here,” he rubbed your legs and kissed your thighs softly still on the floor at your feet. 

“Yeah, I am. I’m here to help you,” you said shakily.

“Oh god, you smell so good,” his hand reached up behind your thighs towards your ass and you panicked. 

“Peter wait,” you pulled his hand away. 

“What, baby? What’s wrong?” he too panicked.

“Nothing, I just… I’m kinda scared.”

“Of what? Of me?” he stood up and backed away from you.

“No! Not of you. I’ve never… done this, you know?”

“Y/n, why are doing this then- ugh!” he groaned, a wave of need and sexual frustration rushed over him making his body cramp. 

“I want to help you,” you grabbed his hand; he pulled his hand back very quickly and retracted his body over to the bed. 

“Peter, please let me help you,” you walked over to him.

“No, Y/n. I can’t do that to you.”

You were getting tired of his arguing. You wanted to do this. You rushed to him and took your shirt off hoping that’ll prove a point or something. 

“Look, look. I want to help you, Pete. Let me do that,” you cupped his face making him look at you. 

His eyes were so dilated nearly black as he looked into your eyes. His hands caressed your bare stomach and lower back making goosebumps rise across your body. He leaned forward running his nose along your neck breathing you in. He used every ounce of control he had in his body to not flip you on the bed rail you into the mattress. He had to be gentle. The idea of you never have been touched shouldn't have turned him on as much as it does. 

Your stomach fluttered and you let out a shaky breath. Arousal pooled in your underwear with each move that Peter made. Your hands rested on his shoulders unsure of what to do but thankfully Peter moved your hands in his hair and you gently ran your fingers through his curly brown locks as he kissed and nibbled at your neck. 

He moved your bra strap down your shoulder tracing his lips along your collarbone to your shoulder.

“I'm so sorry, baby,” he whispered against your skin.

“It’s ok Pete, I want to help you. Teach me. Teach me how to make you feel good.” 

He practically growled picking you up and laying you on his bed. He kissed your stomach and left small bites and purple marks littered across your belly. He looked at you to make sure you were ok before pulling your shorts down your legs and off to the side. He continued to kiss up and down your legs growing harder at the small pants and gasps you made above him. 

“I'm gonna give you a little taste, ok darling?” he whispered against your inner thighs.

You nodded and lifted your hips off the bed for Peter to easily take your underwear off. You grew embarrassed at how wet you were. Peter only chuckled before going in a licking along your entrance. You gasped and clenched your thighs together, only to wrap around Peter’s head pulling him closer to you.

This isn’t Peter’s first time eating a girl out so he was obviously quite skilled in bringing you a lot of pleasure from his tongue alone. Now in his twenties, after high school and after his identity was revealed, Peter somewhat tumbled his way into playboy town just like his mentor. 

Girls left and right shot their chance to spend a night in the spider boy’s bed. But when Peter met you, oh boy, the kid fell in love. You were this innocent little thing that Peter just wanted to hold and take care of all the time. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. He stopped seeing other women in hopes that one day you’d be out of your mind enough to give him a shot. 

Now here you were, laying in his bed like an angel, letting him have his way with you because he was shithead and smelled the flower when he wasn’t supposed to. 

Your hips squirmed around, pressure building up in the pit of your stomach. You moaned loudly as you got closer to your oragsm. Your hands went to Peter’s hair making him hum when you tugged on his hair. His vibrations pushed over the edge and you came for the first time that night on Peter’s face.

“God that was hot, baby. Are you ok?” he asked, crawling up your body after discarding his boxers.

“Yeah, that was amazing,” you cupped his face, smiling.

He leaned down and kissed you for the first time ever. His hands roamed your almost naked body except for your bra of which you still had on. Not for long of course. Peter leaned back to sit up pulling you with him so you were now sitting straddling his lap. 

You could feel his dick against you and your body shuddered in arousal. His hands wrapped around you to skillfully remove your bra, the last piece of clothing left on you. When he did so you covered yourself in instinct never having been naked in front of anyone before in your life. 

“Don’t cover up princess. You’re so beautiful. I wanna see you,” he whispered, cupping his hand under your chin so you could look at him.

“Sorry, it’s- It’s a lot,” you whispered back. 

“I know and I’ll try to go slow but if I’m not inside you right now I think I’m gonna pass out,” he moaned. 

You looked down in between your bodies to find Peter’s dick big, swollen, and red. You felt bad because you don’t know if it’ll fit inside you and it looks painful. 

“Please, Yn,” Peter had tears in eyes begging for you to take the pain away.

“Ok, I’m ready.”

Peter grabbed his cock and lined up to your entrance. You got up and slowly sank down feeling him stretching you out. With how aroused and wet you were after Peter’s mouth you were able to slide all the way down without feeling too much pain.

Peter moaned when he bottomed out and grabbed your face you kiss passionately. You moved slowly up and down and soon all the pain you felt subsided into pleasure and you too started moaning above him. 

“You look so fucking good riding me, princess.”

His words made you moan even more embarrassed that everyone can probably hear you and Peter having sex. You bit your lip in hopes to silence the moans as much as possible, but Peter didn’t like that.

“Don’t. I want everyone in this building to know who fucking you this good,” he flipped you over onto you back and started thrusting wildly. 

“Let them know what a good little girl you are for daddy. Let them know who’s name you’re gonna be screaming all night.”

“Peter oh god,” you moaned.

“Huh? You like it when I call you a good girl?”

“Yes!”

“My good girl. My little slut,” Peter groaned in your ear.

You were getting insanely close to your climax and Peter’s words only sped up the approach. 

“Daddy, I think I’m close,” you whispered, pleasure becoming overwhelming.

“Let go baby. Cum all over my cock,” he said.

Your oragsm ripped through you and you practically screamed into his ear. Pleasure came over you in a huge wave. Your eyes screwed shut and your legs wrapped around Peter’s torso pulling him impossibly close. Your body felt limp under Peter’s and when you opened your eyes Peter's face held worrisome and frustration. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I haven’t came,” his voice trembled.

“It’s ok. We can keep going,” you said tiredly.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he buried his face in your neck.

“You won’t hurt me, Peter. I promise.”

He kissed softly before gently flipping you over and thrusted into furiously.

Six hours later Peter finally came after you did so nine times; and that was before you stopped counting. Your body shook and Peter cleaned you up. He had a small fridge where he kept drinks from time to time and grabbed a water bottle for you to drink. 

You breathed heavily after drinking a copious amount of water before laying back down. You turned to check the clock on his bedside and saw that it was around three thirty in the morning. Peter crawled into bed with you, both still naked not caring enough to change. He held you impossibly close, burying his face in your shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry. Are you ok?” he mumbled in your skin. 

“I mean it was a lot,” you chuckled.

“I swear if it weren’t for that stupid fucking pollen our first time would have been softer and special,” he said, making you look at him with surprise. 

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, well, look. Y/n, I really like you and I know that timing is horrible but it’s true. I promise.”

“Well, I like you too,” you smiled at him.

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

“Wow. God, you’re amazing. Thank you for today,” he whispered, cuddling you close.

“Of course. I’d do anything for you.” 

You both fell  asleep soundly in each other's arms until you both woke up the next day from loud yet muffled voices downstairs. The sun was shining very bright, lighting the whole room up brightly. You stirred around and peeked over Peter’s sleeping body to find that it was around noon already and you two were still in bed. 

Peter moved a bit slowly waking up. You turned around to face and watched his beautiful face slowly come to life. His eyes met your eyes and you both smiled before bursting into giggles; hiding your face in his chest. 

“We’ll have to get up soon, you know,” he said, making you sigh dramatically.

“Let’s run away, before they make fun of us. They had to have heard, right?” you said, slightly panicked.

Peter just laughed and shook his head. He reached to kiss you, moving your hair off your neck eyes widening. 

“Oh man,” he said, thumb rubbing the dark spots he left on you.

“What?” You pushed the sheets off your body feeling intensely sore. You heard Peter gasped as you trotted to a mirror.

Your body was covered in bruises and hickeys that Peter left for literally everyone to see. When you looked in the mirror you yelled Peter’s name completely shocked at the state of your body. 

“I can’t believe you!”

“Well, in my opinion I think you looking fucking sexy,” he said coming up behind you.

“I like them,” you said shyly, “But everyone’s gonna see them, no?”

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen next time.”

“Next time?”

“Hell yeah. Only if you want of course,” he chuckled, “Let’s take a shower before we grab some food.”

That was filled with giggles and little touches. Kisses were exchanged practically every minute. You both came out of the shower and Peter so generously lent you a pair of clean boxers and one of his shirts fitting way too big on you. He wore these delicious looking grey sweatpants and a tight fitted black shirt. You practically drooled over him.

“No, later,” he winked.

He grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers before heading down stairs preparing for what could be an upcoming disaster. You came down stairs meeting everyone appearing to be arguing probably over what you did. Everyone noticed you two and immediately stopped conversing. 

Tony sat on a stool, arms crossed and an unamused look staring at you both while everyone else looked down or at each other, anywhere at but you guys.

“Before you say anything, everything that happened is my fault,” Peter pulled you behind him. 

Tony simply looked at you and made you feel shy and ashamed somewhat under his gaze. He told you to stay away and you didn’t listen.

“Don’t even look at her. She has nothing to do with this,” he said when Tony shifted his gaze.

“Relax, kid. Look we all talked. Thor told me about the effects the pollen can have mentally and the trauma it can impact when ‘untreated’ for too long. We weren’t going to find a cure anytime soon and I don’t even want to think about the consequences you’d have to pay because I'm a stubborn old man who didn’t like seeing the kids not be kids anymore. You both are adults and I had no right to interfere with that. Besides everyone knows you two are in love.”

“We’re not in love,” Peter mumbled.

“Love is such a strong word,” you mumbled simultaneously. 

“Don’t argue with me,” Tony said. 

“Sorry,” you both whispered.

“I’m sorry,” he admitted.

“We also agreed that starting today we will be installing soundproofing in both of your rooms and Y/n, maybe put some ice on…” he pointed to your neck but then waved around your whole body because you were pretty beaten up. 

“Thanks, guys,” Peter said holding your hand again.

“Congrats on getting the girl finally,” Steve said.

Before you two left you saw Nat wink at you and you smiled running away with Peter most likely to go cuddle and maybe fuck another round if your body feels better. As much as you hate to admit, thank god Peter smelled that fucking plant. 

[lilxberry]

I Watched You Die} 6 - Natasha Romanoff

Synopsis;

Someone from Natashas’ past makes the most of unsuspected arrivals and begins to cause issues, not only for her, just everyone they come into contact with. HYDRA uses them as a simple puppet and Natasha believes that maybe, just maybe, she could get them back to her in the way she remembers.

Warnings: Language. Fighting. Terrible writing (this chapter was terrible.)

Words: 3,123

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader (female reader) (super soldier reader) (HYDRA reader)

(A/N: There’s some time jumps that aren’t stated but it’s still relatively easy to follow in that sense. Also, this chapter is more so a filler but nonetheless is related to the story.)

(A/N 2: Strucker and interactions with him are in German and a small interaction with Wanda is in Slovak as a substitute for Sokovian. There is some Russian in this but it’s quite easy to distinguish between the languages’ used.)

< Chapter 5    Chapter 7 >

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Her head throbbed and her neck was stiff and pained from its lolled position it had been in hours on end. Even with her head tilted forward and down towards the hard floor beneath her, the light felt harsh against her eyes, a stinging, burning sensation appearing each time she cracks an eye open.

“Ah, I hope you slept well, Miss Romanoff.”

The familiarity in the voice caused Natasha to tense and she willed her eyes to open and remain as such. Raising her head, her eyes automatically lock on to the figure before her in which everyone believed was dead.

“How are you here?”

The man chuckled and began to take steps towards the tied up red head, his hands folded together behind his back, a smug look etched into his features. “It is quite incredible the technology we have within this day and age, yes?”

Her features twisted up into a sneer, glaring at the one of the few notorious HYDRA leaders they, the Avengers, had come to face. “Why can’t people just stay dead?”

Strucker rounded her body leaving her to look at the room they held her within; bland in colour but crowded with technology. “I believe you’re also not referring to only me now, are you?” He clicks his tongue. “Yes, Y/N. Our best asset yet. The twins were exceptional, yes and the winter soldier was successful until recent years, but Y/N is our best creation.”

His German accent is thick as the words pass into her ears and registers his words, but his next sentence as he leans down to whisper right beside her head makes her blood run cold. “Finding her on the brink of death was undoubtfully wonderful, on our part at least.”

The man chuckled as he straightened himself back out, standing to his full height before rounding her seated position once more to stand before her. “How are our previous assets, anyways? The updates Ghost gives are quite minimal in unnecessary data.”

Silence. Strucker tsked at her lack of response and spun on heel, taking one, two, three steps forward before coming to a standstill. “I suppose you’d like to know why we have you hear,” he called over his shoulder to her. When he was met with silence once more, he continued.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers have certainly been a right ganz schlimmer, a large spanner in our works. We run smoothly when you and your little friends keep out of our business. Perfectly running machinery. So, we’re simply removing the issue with our operation. You.” (Fucking pain.)

Slow and intimidating were his steps as he little by little made his way over towards a board of panels which, much like every other piece of technology was surrounded by people in off-white lab coats. His fingers danced over the multiple of buttons that littered the deck of the panel.

“You may not think so yourself but, we believe you are the strongest of your little band of heroes. No, not physically. Mentally? Yes. We also believe, if we break you, the rest of the team will surely follow in crumbling down.”

His eyes linger on one spot in particular on the panel, his finger hovering over it. “Now you’re also wondering why I’m electing to tell you all this. The answer is simple, really.” He pushes down on a button, resulting in the chair that Natasha is strapped to, to recline backwards, much like a chair in a barbers’, before laying her flat.

“You’re stuck here.”

Natashas’ head looks from left to right in a frantic manner as Strucker steps away from the lengthy panel of buttons and stalks towards her, his boots quietly squeaking against the cold, smooth floor of the room.

Above her is some form of machinery she could best describe as terrifying in appearance, harsh glinting metal and a mass of wires. Movement to both her left and right signify to her that people are beginning to close in on her and surround her. Panic rises in her body further as someone steps closer to her head holding what she believed was a mouth guard; something she’ll be biting down on.

She shakes her head in a desperate attempt to avoid the object but with no such luck. Someone had violently grasped her jaw in a bruising grip and forced the guard into her mouth. Strucker leans over her laying form and the evil grin on his face is purely sickening.

“Have you ever felt 450 volts of electricity surged through your body before? No? Oh, don’t worry. IT should be over before you know it.” He pulls back, making Natasha follow his with her eyes. Her protests are muffled by the guard in her mouth. “But, please, be mindful when it comes to the convulsions that follow. You wouldn’t like to break a bone, surely.”

Strucker walks towards yet another panel, this time with AMP and voltage gages along with other gages she couldn’t quite make out from her position. He places his hand atop a dial and nods his head once to one of the many people scuttling around the room. She feels something be attached to each temple and it reminds her strongly of the old school, brutal electroshock therapy that doctors used to dole out.

“Shall we move this along and see how long it takes until you break?”

Natasha spots your body stood stiff and squared near the door at the foot of the room, features lacking any show of emotion. Her eyes widened, and she desperately hoped that her eyes asked what she couldn’t.

‘Help me.’

Your being, unmoving and unchanged, is the last thing she sees before searing hot pain shots through her body. She bites down on the guard and releases and ear-piercing scream around it as her whole-body tenses and her back arches up, fists clenched tightly, and toes curled.

Her body falls limp for a short moment before the process repeats, over and over. Like an unending, destructive cycle.

_______________

The team had tirelessly put in every effort to find the missing ex-assassin. When Natasha had taken too long to return to the others, Clint did what was asked of him. He waited until the end of the following day when she had left before telling the others.

With no sightings and no communication from the Avenger, they were at a lost.

4 days had passed, coming close to 5, with no such luck in finding Natasha. Every member of the close-knit team had put in hours and hours on end into locating her; everything had been fruitless. The team had chewed out the archer for not mentioning anything sooner than he had but he had argued that he valued his word and believed Natsha would be fine, that she could look after herself.

They couldn’t argue with him on that.

“I’ve got nothing. We haven’t found shit and it’s been what? 4 days since anyone had last seen her?”

Their hopes in finding her were dwindling quickly, its rate in decrease sped up after the three-day mark. Stark groaned and leant back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose tightly between his pointer finger and thumb.

“Honestly, I blame Fury for making us use phones that I can’t hack. We’d find her a lot fucking faster if I could just get into it.”

“Language,” Steve muttered before releasing a lengthy sigh. As he went to open his mouth to respond, Tony perked up, this time looking extremely more optimistic than previous.

“HOLY SHIT!” He spun his chair to face the computer on the desk and began to rapid begin typing. The others watched him with scepticism before slowly moving to crowd the billionaire.

“You wanna explain to the class, Stark?”

“You know how I never listen to Fury?” He heard a collective of hums in agreement before continuing. “Well, when I was encrypting the phones we all use, I may have purposefully left out my location cloaking software.”

“So, you’re saying you can ping her location and you failed to mention this?!” Wanda exclaimed.

“One, ouch. Don’t scream in my ear like a damn banshee, Matilda. Two, I forgot. It’s not like we actually use it.”

The team watched in anticipation as Tonys’ fingers continued to rapidly tap at the keyboard. Moments pass by with bated breaths before a small red dot appears on a map that pops up. They stare at the bright red dot in a prolonged silence before Steve straightens out with a hardened face.

“Let’s move.”

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“I don’t understand. Why San Fransico?”

The statement from Sam was what each of them wanted to voice but none did. Each step through the city was following that damn pinged location. The day before it had been in Washington, the day before that was Oklahoma.

They could be tracking a ghost trail for all they knew, certainly with how quickly the location seemed to switch between states so quickly.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. Update.”

“Location has remained the same. The Railway Museum is just one block away, sir.”

Tony rolls his shoulders before turning to look towards those who walk with him. He and Steve share a look, already knowing that this is more than likely a trap or mislead.

“Only a few of us will enter. Everyone else is going to surround the building, cover each possible exit. Buck, I want you with me, Sam and Wanda. Clint, you think you can take to a nearby building keep an eye on the roof and the main entrance?”

Clint nodded as Steve doled out orders for the group to follow. With the archers’ non-verbal confirmation, the captain continued.

“Thor, I want you to take the West side of the building with Banner. Pietro, you take East. Stark, I want you to take the back with Vision.” Everyone nods followed by them splitting off in the direction of the respective positions.

Dressed as civilians was helpful with entering the museum; they turned no heads when entering the building. The four inside had separated themselves, hoping to search the interior in record time rather than they be grouped up together.

The comms the team had donned before splitting ways crackled before Tony’s voice sounded through into each team members’ ear. “I’ve had F.R.I.D.A.Y. put the location on each of your phones, make it easier for you guys to know if you’re closing in.”

Simultaneously, Steve, Sam, Wanda and Bucky pull out their smartphones and allow the screen to open up correctly, a simple map of the interior showing a blinking red dot in the centre of the building.

The small team inside opposed to those outside slowly close in to the centre of the museum, covering all sides.

Adrenaline begins to heighten as they inch their way closer and closer. Emotions are running high and minds are swirling with possibilities and before they knew it, they surround the exhibit at the very middle of the building.

A large group being led by some guide moves on with their tour and reveals a lone person still stood there; hood up and phone in hand. Steve glances down at the phone in his own hand and sure enough, the dot hasn’t moved.

This is what they’ve been chasing.

With their head down, both Sam and Bucky who face their front can’t identify who holds the phone, Natashas’ phone.

Between the four, a look was shared and with a nod of their head in the figure’s direction, they begin to slowly close in once more. Wanda, Sam and Bucky slow to a stop, only a short distance away as Steve continues to stalk closer and with a few more steps, he’s stood behind the figure.

He reaches an arm out and clamps his hand down on their shoulder which begins to shake slightly as the person laughs quietly. The person slowly raises their head with a shit eating grin on their face and both Sam and Bucky tense, their jaws clenching, teeth grinding.

Wanda freezes up along with them as the figure slowly turns to face Steve; easily catching a glimpse herself.

“At ease, солдат,” your voice rasps. (Soldier.)

You hand moves quickly to clamp on to the blondes’ wrist and before he could react, you bring your head forward in a quick, whip-like motion, slamming it into his nose; a satisfying crunch is heard and blood already beginning to trickle out.

Twisting his arm, you land a hard kick to his ribs and send him back, him falling to the floor with quite the thud, even sliding across the floor a good foot or two. The others had quickly reacted, Sam and Bucky charging over towards you.

You alternate between the two as they dole out a choreographed offensive; punches, kicks, full body hits. The two had been going a solid minute and had done zero damage, even with Steve standing himself back up on to his feet and charging at you himself.

Wanda had dealt with the screaming and panicked public from the first sign of retaliation, giving firm orders to leave the building and to get a safe distance.

The second the first of the civilians exited the building in a rushed and yelling fashion, the team was on high alert.

“Someone talk to us,” Clint crackled through the comms, his sights down the length of the arrow he already has notched and ready to release.

“It’s Y/N.” Just that simple statement made the whole team know exactly what was currently going down. “They had Natashas’ phone. HYDRA put us on a wild goose chase.”

The grunts from Steve, Sam and Bucky brought Wanda’s head back into the fight at hand. The three were being easily overpowered by just yourself and she’s unsure how to proceed. With quick thinking, she uses her powers to push her teammates aside and away from you, the swirl of red like mist dancing around her fingers.

Your attention snaps from the three that had been thrown away from you to the little witch who stood off to the side. You roll your shoulders and smirk before stomping your way over to her aggressively.

You feel your movements slowly become restricted and it’s harder and harder to move forward. Wanda, with a struggle, brings to down to your knees before you could reach her and all you could do it look up at her with a devious smirk.

Tongue peeking out between your lips, you wet them and trail your eyes up and down the length of her body and the action makes her sick to your stomach. “Som ohromená, princezná.” (I’m impressed, princess.)

She takes step towards you, slow, precise, and what she hoped was menacing. “Where’s Natasha?” she spat between her teeth.

You chuckle darkly and shake her head, noticing how she lacked to remember to keep her distance. “You’re in no position to ask questions, little witch.” With perseverance, your left arm shoots forward, grasping her wrist much like you had done with the caps. Shocked, the moment forces Wanda to lose concertation and drops her magical hold on you.

You swipe at the opportunity and raise to your full height, towering over the Sokovian and delivering a hard right hook to the girl, knocking her unconscious the moment your fist made contact with her jaw.

Turning, you look at the trio of men who look at an unconscious Wanda by your feet with wide and worried eyes. You smirk once more as you pull Natasha’s phone from your pocket and wave it slightly before tossing it in their direction. “Keep it. I’m done with it.”

You take small steps backwards away from the four before turning tail and running, closer and closer to the back entrance.

“She’s heading to you guys at the back,” Steve rushes out, struggling to come to a stand and give chase.

“Understood, capsicle.” Tony and Vison both prepare themselves for your arrival, to burst through the doors and go into combat just like the four inside had done. But they waited and waited and waited. Nothing. “Uh, no sign of her. Anyone got eyes on the slippery bastard?” Stark reaches out to the others.

Sam and Bucky left Americas’ sweetheart and Scarlet Witch with the intentions of cheeking the inside of the building, running around the whole of the museum as the team converse.

“Nothing here.”

“Nope.”

“No clue.”

“Nada.”

“Zilch.”

The team’s response came in like clockwork and the entire team felt baffled. Where did you disappear to?

“So, she just evaporated? What the fuck? Are you sure no one has eyes on her?”

“Look,” Steve started. “As much as I want to find them and get some answers, we gotta focus on Wanda. She’s down.” He was kneeling beside her unconscious form and like a lightbulb being lit from a switch, Pietro was right beside his sister on the opposite side of Steve, absolute panic and concern shifting through his eyes.

Steve hears a sigh through the comms followed by Banners’ voice. “Let’s get back. It’s clear they’ve disappeared somehow, and we should focus on Maximoff right now.”

Steve shakes his head and moves to stand, Pietro already holding his twin in his arms. “Let’s go, team.”

_______________

“Wie ich sehe, können wir ihr Telefon nicht länger als Ablenkung für sie benutzen,” Strucker spoke as his back was turned to you, hands folded behind his back, looking at the painting hung on the wall with disinterest. (I see we can no longer use her phone as a distraction for them.)

“Sie werden sie nicht finden können, auch wenn wir sie nicht mehr auf Gänsejagd führen, Sir,” you respond, you own hands folded behind your back. Your eyes are trained on his form as he slowly turns to face you, casually rounded the desk to stand before you. (They won't be able to find her even if we no longer lead them on such wild goose chases', sir.)

“Hoffentlich nicht, Soldat. Es liegt an Ihnen, wenn sie sie finden.” His eyes look you up and down subtly, scrutinising you before turning away from you and striding over towards his desk. “Es ist jetzt zu heiß für dich, Ghost. Zu viele Leute werden dich nach deinem kleinen öffentlichen Stunt erkennen. Du sollst in der Einrichtung bleiben. Sie bewachen Romanoff und begleiten sie zum und vom Labor. Verstanden?” (They better not, soldier. It will be on your head if they are to find her.) (There's too much heat on you now, Ghost. Too many people will recognise you after your little public stunt. You are to stay within the facility. You will guard Romanoff and escort her to and from the lab. Understood?)

“Verstanden.” (Understood.)

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THIS WAS SO BAD LMAO

I just needed a filler honestly so, this will do for the time being

If you want to be added to the taglist lemme know

Anywho, I hope you enjoy

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

_______________

Marvel taglist:

@thanossexual​ @iwazoomingouttahere​ @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ 

_______________

‘I Watched You Die’ taglist:

@diaryoflife @username23345 @drpepperobsessed @fayhar @d14n4ol @srtamercurio @gabbygabbie @lostandsearching @afuckingshituniverse @thea13sworld @nelouath8 @navs-bhat @pistachiomilk3 @peggycarter-steverogers @b-5by5 @trikruismybitch @anxiousgoldengirl @when-wolves-howl @whitelotus00 @anxiousgoldengirl @daniescady @unexpected-character @lgtftchan @mitch-cabello1097 @wlwfanfictionss @gottacamz​

(Those whose @ is in bold, I could not tag unfortunately.)

[echoghost1]

What's In A Name

okay, this took me longer than I expected... but here is the fic based on this post

Title: What's In A Name

Summary: Danny thought that having a sub in class would make things easier. Unfortunately, this leads to everyone finding out that his first name isn't Daniel.

His class isn't taking the news very well.

word count: 1670

you can read it on AO3 or down below the cut!

Oh, and I guess I'll tag the people from that post: @spookberry @shinygoldstar

Danny had just gotten to school and was getting his supplies for first period when Tucker ran up with way more excitement for this early in the morning.

“Dude, you’re never going to believe it!”

“Believe what?” Danny asked with an amused grin.

“Lancer took a sick day since the first time in forever!”

Danny felt like he was missing something.

Tucker rolled his eyes when Danny didn’t react correctly, “Subs, man. We have subs.”

“In all of his classes?” Danny asked as the news finally sunk in.

“Yup.” Tucker said with confidence as he popped the ‘p’.

“I have so many classes with him.”

“I know dude, me too!” He wrapped his arm around Danny’s shoulder, “Which means that today is going to be a breeze.”

Danny smiled and couldn’t help getting excited about a nice easy day at school.

================================================

His first class was easy.

The sub seemed just as tired as they were and simply checked that they were in their assigned seats and handed out a worksheet for them to do.

Once the teacher made it clear that they didn’t care if they worked together or not, it turned into more of a hang-out session than actually getting much work done.

================================================

His second period was science which he didn’t have with Mr. Lancer so he actually had to pay attention.

It was a lab day and he was still banned for life from handling all fragile school property, so the lab they had was a bit difficult until the teacher remembered (was reminded) and let him team up with Mikey.

All he had to do was take notes on what was happening. Which was fine. He could do that no problem.

All Mikey asked was for his handwriting to be legible.

================================================

It was his third class that ruined everything. It had all been going so well until then.

The teacher had decided to ignore the seating chart list and did roll by reading off the class roster list on the computer. Which in theory would be fine, except that the computer list didn’t have the notes that Mr. Lancer had added over the year, things like nicknames for instance.

It would have been fine if she had called him Daniel. It would have reminded him of Vlad, which would have been annoying, but manageable.

Unfortunately his first name isn’t Daniel.

“Johnathan?”

Everyone perked up at the name. They looked around, confusion evident on all of their faces. There was no Johnathan in this class. No John or Johnny’s. Was this a secret classmate? It couldn’t be, all the seats were full and no one here was Johnathan.

The teacher sighed and tried again, “Johnathan Fenton?”

Danny perked up and raised his hand, “Here. Sorry. I just um, everyone calls me Danny. Or Daniel, or just Fenton.” he realized he had been rambling and apologized again.

He looked down at his desk still embarrassed that he sort of forgot his own first name for a second. Then he felt like he was being watched.

He looked up and realized everyone, but Tucker, who was too busy chuckling to himself, was staring at him with varying degrees of confusion and anger. Sam included.

The class said nothing. Only stared for the remainder of the roll call.

Once the teacher was finished, and before they could truly start class, Dash was the first to break the silent tension. “Your name is Johnathan?!”

“Yes?” Danny answered hesitantly as he leaned away from the angry jock. Normally Dash wasn’t much of a threat anymore after all the ghost hunting, but he couldn’t exactly use his powers in the middle of class.

“Since when?!”

“Birth?”

“No!” Dash countered.

“Look, I’m named after my dad and it’s too confusing if we both go by the same name, so we just use my middle name instead.”

“But your dad’s name is Jack.”

“Which is short for Johnathan,” Danny explained with a sigh.

Dash sputtered in confused annoyance. Apparently, he didn’t know that either.

Before he could get too angry about his lack of knowledge, the teacher made it clear that they were going to start class now.

Dash glared at Danny and pointed an accusatory finger at him, “I don’t believe you, Fenton.”

“Okay?” Danny shrugged it off and the rest of the class went back to ignoring him.

Except for Sam.

She was still glaring at him.

“What?” Danny mouthed not a hundred percent sure as to what his gothic friend was upset about.

She flipped open her notebook hard enough for the paper cover to slap against the desk and furiously scribbled something down before tearing out the page and quickly folding it like a ninja star and chucking it at his head.

He carefully unfolded the note and read it.

“Are you serious?! Is this some elaborate prank?”

Danny looked up to Sam in surprise and then back to the note.

“No really. That is my name.” he wrote before trying his best to fold the note back up as she had it. He really wasn’t as good at it as she was.

She wrote her response quickly and made a point to get the creases of the folds just right. “Then why is Tucker laughing?”

“I don’t know? I’m not a mind reader Sam.”

“Did he know?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He didn’t really understand why she was so upset by this. It didn’t really matter. Did it? “I wasn’t keeping it a secret. I just forgot.”

“Forgot what? That it was your name or that I didn’t know?”

He hesitated too long and Tucker finally snatched the note from him and read it over before snickering to himself and added his own two cents before tossing it back to Sam.

Finally, Sam smiled. With a roll of her eyes, she slipped the note into the pocket of her notebook and went to doodling like nothing was wrong.

Danny wasn’t really sure what that was all about, but he was glad it was over.

================================================

The rest of the day was mostly fine. His friends teased him about his full name occasionally throughout the day, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle.

Dash kept giving him the stink eye, which was weird, but better than being shoved into his own locker.

Lunch was a bit of a disaster once Tucker let out his inner bookie and started holding bets on what Danny’s real name was.

There were three options.

One was that his name was really Daniel and he was just pranking everyone somehow.

The second was that his name really was Johnathan and he was telling the truth because Fenton can’t tell a lie to save his life.

While the third was that he had a completely different name and may or may not be related to the Fenton’s at all.

Danny wasn’t sure if he should be finding all of this hilarious or just plain annoying. Maybe it was one of those, ‘we’ll laugh about it when we’re older’ things?

Of course, word spread fast and everyone was trying to figure out what the real answer was. No one was asking Danny, because they weren’t sure if he actually was a reliable source. Tucker refused to give the answer until the end of the day when he would reveal the winners. And Sam admitted that all of the name nonsense was news to her, but since she loved chaos, she would wink and add, “But it could be true.”

Danny realized too late that the only other person to ask before the end of the day was his sister.

Before he could get to her, someone else beat him to it.

Dash had cornered her just outside of the library and asked, “What’s your brother’s name,” without any preamble.

Of course, Jazz, being two years older than them and in none of their classes, had no idea what had been going on. So she answered the question as best she could despite the confusion, “Danny?”

“Ha! I knew he was a liar!” Dash boasted as he turned around and punched his fist into his open palm as he eyed Danny.

“Wait!” He called out to Dash before turning his attention to his sister, “He means my first name!”

“Oh,” she turned to Dash, “Why didn’t you just say that?”

Dash’s shoulders slumped in defeat, “his name isn’t Danny?”

“His middle name is, but not his first name.” she turned back to Danny, “Didn’t you explain it?”

“Of course I did! He just didn’t believe me! And now the whole school is losing their minds because they think this is some crazy prank or that I’m a liar or something.”

Danny sighed and composed himself before giving the warning as he had meant to, “Tucker is taking bets on what my name is so other people might ask you about it too.”

Jazz hummed thoughtfully to herself while nodding, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You are going to tell them the truth right?”

“Of course,” she said but she still had that far-off look in her eye.

Danny figured he would probably regret asking, but he was just too curious, “what are you thinking about?”

“This is very interesting from a psychological perspective, don’t you think?”

“How?”

“Well by learning that what they assumed to be true, wasn’t, it has shifted their perspective on things.”

“Do you really think it’s that deep?”

“What do you think it is then?” she asked, not annoyed that her theory was being questioned, just curious.

“I think people just like drama.”

“Perhaps.” she said as she watched a dejected Dash walk away, “and maybe it’s a bit of both.”

“Whatever it is I hope it goes away tomorrow.” he walked away and wondered if this was a preview as to what would happen if his secret got out.

He stopped in his tracks with a sigh. No, if they found out he was really Danny Phantom it would be worse. So much worse.

[teddy06writes]

Can I request a Karl x Alex x Nick x Reader fic in which the reader is a teacher and they bring their boyfriends in for career day? I just thought it’d be so cute to see them interact with little kids.

sapnap x karl x quackity x reader

trigger warnings: none

premise: pretty much everything from the ask, although I know nothing about children so..., sorry lol

requested by the person above as well as @eliasxxk who asked for more karlnapity x reader

(y/n/n)- your nickname

(y/l/n)- your last name

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Career day?” Nick asked.

You nodded, quickly packing up the last of the assignments you had finished grading and tucking them into your bag, “Yeah, remember how I was planning the different stations and stuff for the kids?”

“Oh yeah, I thought you had all that stuff sorted?” Karl handed you your laptop from across the table.

“We did,” You sighed, “But someone backed out and now we have a slot to fill. So, one of you, all of you, I don’t care, we still need someone to do it.”

Alex frowned, “What would we have to do for that?”

You ran a hand through your hair, “Make a presentation on what you do? We were looking for a broad spectrum and the guy who backed out was someone’s cousin who did like, animation or something.”

As you gathered the rest of your things you explained that one group or person would be set up in each classroom, and that kids would rotate through, not just the fifth graders you taught, but the whole of the elementary school.

Karl grinned, “What time would we have to be there?”

“The welcome thing for the speakers is it 9 ish on Friday, so I can bring back the forms you’d need to fill out today to get them in on time.”

Your boyfriends agreed, and with a smile you pecked them all on the lips, “Alright, I gotta go. I’ll see you later.”

“Love you!” Karl called as you started out the door.

“Love you too!”

~~

After practically zooming through your first three units, ELA, Math and History, and sending your kids off to PE, you headed down to the admin offices to make copies and grab the forms.

“Hey Sadie!” You greeted cheerfully.

The secretary smiled, “Hey mx. (y/l/n).”

You moved over to the copier, starting your copies, “Do you have any of those forms? For the people giving the presentations on career day?”

“You found someone?” Adam, the sixth grade teacher who had been organizing the career day asked as he entered the office.

“Three someones actually,” You smiled, “Alex, Karl and Nick said they could.”

“Oh, that’ll be interesting.”  Sadie laughed.

“Minecraft youtubers,” Adam mused unenthusiastically, “I’m sure the kids will love to hear about people without real jobs.”

You rolled your eyes, “They pull just as much if not more than me every year, plus Nicky and Alex are still in college.”

Adam cocked an eyebrow as you grabbed your copies, and then the forms from Sadie, “Well at least I can’t complain, your saving my ass.”

“Damn right I am,” You scoffed starting out of the office, “You owe me.”

Heading back down the hall and then up the stairs to the fifth grade hallway you pulled out your phone, sending a text to the ‘loves <3′ group chat, ‘the files have been secured’

Back in your classroom you began to set out the Novels your class had been reading, and set up the last of the things you would need for the mini science lab that would happen later in the after noon.

~~ The next few days passed quickly, and soon you were pointing your boyfriends in the direction of the library, where the volunteers were supposed to be meeting before heading up to your classroom, greeting the kids who were already inside.

“Hey guys! Are you excited for today?”

A few kids nodded.

“Which presentation are you most excited to see?”

“Probably the actor!” Damien exclaimed.

“The actor? Any reason why or you just think they’d be cool?”

“I wanna be an actor.” He said.

“Yeah?” You chuckled, “What about you Sam?”

The girl through for a moment, tapping at her desk absently, “Probably the firefighter, I want to save people like them some day.”

You nodded, “Calum? Any your excited for?”

“Well I was excited to Ricky, he’s my cousin and an animator but he couldn’t come.” The boy pouted.

“Aw, well I’m sorry about that, but I’m sure there’ll be plenty of interesting people for you to see.” You looked over the schedule again, answering a messege from Adam, willingly surrendering yourself to running around and helping wherever needed during the day, instead of watching the presentations with your kids.

The morning announcements came and went, and the teaching aid who would be taking your place, touring the kids around came in, “Alright guys! We’r~~e going down to the auditorium so that the principal and Mr. Alderton can explain the plan for today, and so that the people who are going to be in these rooms have time to set up!”

She herded the kids out of the room, smiling at you as you grabbed your phone, following them out, but turning down a different hall to the library.

Adam breathed a sigh of relief as soon as you got inside, “Oh thank god! Okay, I need you to get these lovely people to there rooms, Adda is already going around to set up projectors.”

You nodded, taking the papers from him, “Okay people! If you’d follow me, we’ll get you into these classrooms on time!”

The group of various adults followed you out of the library as you started calling out names at each floor, in between the intersection of grade level hallways, pointing out room numbers.

By the time you had made it to the cross roads between the fifth and sixth grade, Adam was already frantically messaging you about being late so quickly you called out the last of the room numbers, pointing various directions and telling the people to let themselves in.

You turned to your boyfriends, “Right you guys are in my room, it’s at the end of the hall, my computer should be unlocked.”

“You’re not like, staying to hang out or anything?” Karl asked.

“I’ve been roped into over seeing this thing. I might be in and out at various times through out the day,” You pressed a kiss to each of there cheeks before starting back towards the stairs, “Have fun!”

~~

You spent your day running around, delivering different things to various classrooms and basically doing Adam’s bidding.

A little way into the last rotation of kids around the building you finally got the chance to take a break and head back up to your room, slipping in and sitting in the back as Karl tried his best to explain streaming to a group of kindergarteners.

They may not have fully understood what he was talking about, but they sure did find him funny.

You watched quietly as your boyfriends interacted with the kids, opening up for questions sooner than they had with the older kids, and patently answering each one.

“What are you going to college to learn how to do?” A young girl asked.

Alex smiled, “Well I’m going to get real smart to be a lawyer, and Mr. Sapnap here is learning about computers.”

“What’s a lawyer?” Another kid asked.

“My uncle’s a lawyer,” someone two desks away offered, “My mom says it’s someone who works in a court!”

Alex chuckled, “You are absolutely right Big Man, lawyers defend people who go to court.”

“If you and you are goin to college,” A boy near the front pointed at Nick and then Alex, “Then what’s he learning at college?” He pointed at Karl.

“Karl isn’t in college anymore.” Nick said simply.

“Not honking smart enough.” Karl grinned as kids laughed at his use of the word honk.

They continued to joke around for a while, until the pa crackled that it was time for everyone to head back to there normal classrooms, and you moved back to the front of the room, “That was entertaining.”

“(y/n/n)! This was awesome!” Karl exclaimed.

You nodded, glancing at the clock as you began to re arrange your desk, “Theres like, maybe ten minutes to the bell, you guys want to hang out in here?”

“Sure.” Your class began to file back in as Alex spoke.

“Mx. (y/l/n)! Why didn’t you tell us you were dating famous youtubers?” Damien asked.

You groaned, looking at a shrugging Nick, “Why have you done this?”

You class laughed at your displeasure, and you were about to start asking everyone how there days had gone when Karl beat you too it.

“Who was your favorite?”

“It better have been us!” Alex stage whispered.

The kids laughed, and you sat back, content to watch your boyfriends entertain the class.

[earlgreymon]

a song-long kiss

enlightenmonth 2022 (@koushirohikari) // [day 9-12] dance/music fyi i don't hate music class but i'm quite terrible every time my teacher asked me to play the recorder.

Koushiro wasn’t sure if he loathed music class or the idea that third graders should still be taking music class.

In his humble opinion, it was ridiculous. Amidst the exams and the preparation for university entrance, the least the school could do was to omit less-important subjects to avoid additional stress, and one of them was music. He couldn’t see why repeating the same songs for the last four weeks might be a help to relax.

(Again, it was his humble opinion. He couldn’t emphasis it more as he didn’t want to offend anyone like Mimi who actually loved the class to death.)

Perhaps the thought that it was unimportant finally grew into his subconscious, because he forgot to bring his recorder for today’s music class. It was rather fortunate because he quickly realised this before the bell rang, so he had enough time to panic for a few seconds and eventually think about how to mitigate this carelessness. Koushiro then came out with a plan to borrow from a junior, hoping that at least someone also had their music class on Thursday too. It seemed that three of his classmates also thought the same thing, because they dashed straight out the classroom after making a commotion about the same problem. (That was according to his chairmate, Yuri, who actually heard them. He was late to realise, so now he had to fly out as soon as possible too.)

His first thought was Miyako, because the second-graders’ classrooms were on the same floor as his class. However, she blurted the bad news that she didn’t have music class today.

The good news was, “I think Daisuke has one, though.”

“Daisuke-san?”

“Last week he literally begged me to teach him how to play Sakura, Sakura because he had to recite the song in front of the class on the following day. I guess it was around Wednesday.”

He thanked her and made a sprint down the stairs, because Daisuke’s classroom was located on the ground floor. Oddly, as he reached the classroom’s door, it was shut and there was no one inside when he peeked through the glass panel.

Today was definitely not his lucky day.

His mind started to recall his other acquaintances who might be in a different class. He wasn’t sure if Takeru was in the same class with Daisuke. How about Hikari? She was—

“Koushiro-san?”

—there.

She appeared just like that beside him, and of course his natural reaction would be a gasp and a startle. She looked at him curiously and he wondered if she started to think of him as a stalker, because she then asked, “What are you doing here?”

“You’re in this class?” He actually felt bad for forgetting this trivial fact. “Where’s everyone?”

“In the computer lab. It’s the first lesson and you know Sensei is very strict. He always wants us to be there before the bell rings.”

“So why are you here?”

“I left my pencil case in my bag.”

“But you didn’t leave your recorder at home by any chance, right?” It wasn’t typical of Hikari to forget something. He just hoped she wasn’t having a clumsy day like him. Leaving her pencil case was enough of a bad signal.

“...no, but I wonder how you got the information that I’m having a music class today,” she mused, opening the classroom’s door and walking to her seat.

“I have an intel.”

Hikari returned to the corridor with a small cat-patterned case—most probably her stationeries—and a long brown case which she handed to Koushiro. He expressed his gratitude straight away, promising that he would return it on lunchtime. While he would love to chit-chat, the bell then echoed throughout the school. They agreed to dismiss as soon as possible before trouble got the best of them both.

Koushiro was able to sail smoothly throughout the music class. As he promised to return the recorder back during lunch, he saved his bento for later and made his way to Hikari’s class—only to meet her halfway because she was heading to the canteen.

“Sorry, I was just going to see you,” Koushiro explained rhetorically.

Hikari shook her head. “No problem. I want to grab some drink.”

But then, a funny coincidence happened.

Walking passed them were three students—two guys and a girl. If Koushiro didn’t remember his status as the most senior classman in the school, he would surely consider the three of them as Taichi, Yamato, and Sora—but let’s just refer them that way to make it easier, okay? The first guy, Yamato, was drinking from a juice box when the second guy, Taichi, suddenly asked for a sip in which Yamato gave in although he sounded irritated with his friend’s behaviour. While Taichi was drinking from the straw, Sora blurted ever-so-casually loud that Koushiro could hear it way too clearly.

“Wow, you guys just did an indirect kiss.”

Her accusation caused a commotion; not only between Taichi and Yamato, but also inside Koushiro’s mind. He reflectively stopped handing the recorder when he came to an instant realisation, gripping the instrument harder which made Hikari noticed his weird gesture.

“Koushiro-san?” she asked worriedly. “Are you okay?”

He just had a song-long indirect kiss with Hikari Yagami.

His face was as red as his hair now.

[joonie-beanie]

The Demon Brothers + College AU + (Cliche?) First Meetings

So an anon sent me the above ask, and it may have gotten a little out of hand ;;;

I also kind of switched it up and made it college instead. Hopefully the meetings I came up with are still somewhat cliche! Or, at the very least, cute lol

Lucifer:

You’re running late for class on the first day of the semester and he holds the elevator door open for you when he sees the desperate look on your face, and how you’re making a dash for the closing doors.

“Thank you,” you breathe out as you try to get ahold of yourself, hoping that the tall, handsome male beside you doesn’t see or hear the way you’re struggling for air. (It’s 8am, okay? Your body isn’t ready to be running so early.)

“Which floor do you need?” he asks, smiling politely. You respond “four”, and he hums to himself while hitting the button.

When he doesn’t press a different button, you assume he’s heading to the same floor.

“Thanks, by the way,” you say, flashing him a small smile. “You really saved my ass.”

“No thanks needed,” he responds, gaze shifting to look at the small screen above the door. The second floor moves past with a quiet beep. Silence falls for a couple of seconds.

“May I ask what class you’re heading to?”

“Ah, it’s a psychology lab,” you respond, laughing to yourself after a beat. You pull your phone from your pocket, trying to find the screenshot you’d taken of your schedule. “I signed up for this one because Rate My Professor said the TA is hot.”

“Oh? Is that so?” You’re not paying attention, so you don’t see the smirk that tugs at his lips.

The next moment, the elevator stops and the two of you step out together. You exit first, flashing the male one last smile before you turn your attention to your phone, double checking the room number. Lucifer brushes past you without saying a word, and you don’t realize that you’re headed in the same direction until you glance up, and find him holding the classroom door open for you.

“After you,” he says, and while you’re confused, you dip your head in thanks and make your way in. Since you’re one of the last ones in the classroom, you get stuck sitting in the front row.

As you unpack your things, Lucifer steps to the head of the room and sets his computer bag down onto the desk.

“Good morning, class,” he says, his gaze shifting to you when you look up and see that it’s him who is speaking--a vibrant blush rising to your face as you recall what you’d told him in the elevator.

“My name is Lucifer, and I will be the TA for this lab.”

Mammon:

You’re in the large, open eating area at the campus student union when he bumps into you.

Instantly, the greasy, cheesy pizza on your tray jumps up and lands on the front of your shirt. You freeze in shock, wide eyes glancing down as the personal pizza slides down your chest before flopping back onto the tray.

“Oi, watch where you’re going,” a voice says behind you, and you slowly turn around to face the apparently dumbass man who doesn’t even have the sensibility to apologize to you.

Despite that fact that he sounds pompous, you can’t deny that his styled white hair, and pierced ears are kind of charming.

“You backed into me,” you tell him, attempting to keep your calm. You almost lose it when you see his eyes rake down to your chest, staring at the likely un-washable stain on the fabric. He stares much too long, and you’re just about to curse at him when he speaks up again.

“Uhhh...,” he raises a hand to sheepishly rub at his neck, and when you look closely, you see that a blush has spread across his face. “Y-ya know what, maybe it is my fault...can I, um, buy ya another pizza?”

You blink, surprised at the sudden turn around in his attitude.

“That would be nice,” you say honestly, and suddenly he’s smiling, hopping back into the pizza line, which is right beside where the two of you had collided.

“I-If ya want, I’ll lend you my jacket because of, ya know, your shirt,” he says, motioning to your obviously ruined top. You cock an eyebrow at him. 

“You’d give a stranger your jacket?”

 “Well...I’m kind of hoping that you’ll have lunch with me, and we won’t be strangers for long,” he mumbles, gaze shying away. “Or, ya know, that I can get your number at least.”

“You’re really pushing it,” you tell him with a laugh, and you can see his feathers ruffle. He’s obviously embarrassed at you calling out his flirting. “But...maybe we can eat lunch together. Since you’re paying.”

He blinks, shocked at your words, but soon breaks into a smile. Self-satisfied, he continues grinning stupidly even as the cashier calls him up. However, when he pulls out his wallet, swipes his card, and it comes back denied...

“Uhh...can you pay this time? I PROMISE I’ll pay you back.”

You sigh, and debate throttling him.

Levi:

You sit next to him in a lecture hall, and can’t help but notice that the background on his laptop is Sailor Moon. 

When you reach down to dig a notebook out of your bag, you also see the number of anime and video game pins decorating the front of his backpack.

While you don’t tend to talk to strangers, you can’t help but say something.

“Hey, um,” you start, catching his attention. He freezes, amber eyes shifting to look at you--wide with surprise. You smile, doing your best to come off as casual, and friendly. “I noticed all the pins on your backpack. Do you like anime? I started watching Demon Slayer the other week, and I’m in love with it.”

“I...you...,” his surprise shifts to wonder as he regards you. The slightest blush rises on his cheeks. “You watch anime???”

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Is that so weird?”

“N-no, I guess not,” he mumbles, his hands fiddling with the cuffs of his hoodie. You wonder if you’ve made a mistake by talking to him, since he seems so shy--

“Do you play video games too??” he breaks you out of your thoughts as he scoots forward, eyes sparkling. He’s whispering hurriedly, eyes briefly straying to glance at the time on his laptop. “I recently started playing Doki Doki Literature club, and it’s crazy. I love RPG games, and Indie games too--like IB, and Mad Father. Witches House is also good. Of course, I’ll give pretty much any video game a chance, but--”

At that moment, the professor steps up and addresses the class. Levi’s words cut off, and his blush deepens as he suddenly realizes that he’d gone on a mini fanboy rant. However, you just smile at him, hoping that you come off reassuring, and turn to your notebook.

During the lecture, you’re too busy taking notes to notice the way he sneaks glances your way. And when the class finally ends, and you move to repack your belongings, you look up to find him staring at you.

“Is something on your mind?” you ask him. 

“I...um...I-I was wondering if I could get your contact info. You know...f-for class stuff, and maybe, if..if you wanted to, we could also talk more about anime…?”

“Sure!” you say, and he blinks, apparently shocked by your willingness. The two of you proceed to exchange emails and phone numbers, and by the time you arrive at your next class 15 minutes later, 6 new text messages (about anime, video games, and the like) from Levi are lighting up your phone screen.

Satan:

He’s volunteering at the library when you approach him, desperate for help finding a textbook you need to scan for a class. You’ve looked everywhere, but still can’t find it.

“You do realize that this code is indicating that this textbook is online, right? Not physically in the library?” he asks you, a bit of amusement swimming in his eyes when he hands your phone back to you--the screen open to an email your professor had sent a few days before.

You feel heat rise on your cheeks. “Ah, nope. Did not realize...”

“It happens often, actually. I’m sorry for teasing, I shouldn’t have” he says, smiling at you. “If you want, you can come around the desk, and I’ll show you how to access the textbook online. That way, you won’t be confused next time.”

“Thank you,” you sigh, scooting your way around the desk. Satan pulls up a spare chair beside him, and your knee accidentally knocks against his as you take a seat. 

“Here, you just have to search for it in the library portal,” he says, and you attentively watch as he guides you through the online website. However, when he starts going off into a spiel on all of the other cool resources and books available to students online, your attention strays.

You notice the copy of Jane Eyre open on the desk beside the computer. 

“Are you reading a book that’s assigned in high school AP Lit?”

He blinks in confusion, but immediately goes on the defense when he notices where you’re looking.

“Hey, Jane Eyre is a classic. And the help desk is far too slow some days. I need something to keep me busy.”

“Hmm, I guess that’s fair,” you respond, smiling. You move to grab your bag--pressing to your feet. “I can’t blame you either, considering I actually enjoyed reading it once upon a time. The Great Gatsby was probably my next favorite.”

“Personally, out of all the high school literature, I enjoyed Fahrenheit 451,” he responds, grinning when he sees the disgruntled look on your face at hearing the name of the book.

“Really?? I still have no idea what it was about.”

He’s quiet for a moment. You turn to look at him, and find him regarding you with interest. 

Satan smiles.

“Can I buy you a coffee?”

Asmo:

Asmo is working a booth about safe sex in the student union when you approach, hoping to get free condoms (or maybe even donate to support the organization, considering it’s a good cause).

“Well, hello there, gorgeous,” he says, smiling at you as you survey the goodies and pamphlets laid out on the table. He comes off as a little flirty, but mostly friendly, and well intentioned. “Are you here to buy one of our prettily shaped chocolates?”

He motions to the cup full of vagina-shaped chocolates on a stick. Your eyebrows raise. Huh.

“Well, that’s not why I stopped, but I may need to buy one now,” you laugh, making him smile. Asmo leans forward onto his elbows, his eyes twinkling up at you.

“Are you here for the condoms then? If so, feel free to take a handful. We have a ton prepared. People on this campus fuck like bunnies, honestly.”

You laugh. “Oh? Well, good on you guys for protecting all of the precious, needy students.”

He nods sagely, moving to gather you a few of the wrapped condoms, along with some educational reading material. “Can’t have a bunch of students getting diseases, or pregnant. Sex should be fun and safe. Always! And if it’s not both, then find someone else to fuck.” 

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” you say, smiling as he hands you your free goodies. Your eyes stray back to the vagina chocolates. “How much for one of those?”

“5 dollars,” he says, reaching over to grab one. “Pricey, I know, but the money goes to a good cause.”

“I don’t doubt it,” you laugh, pulling a 5 from your wallet. The two of you exchange items, and you pocket the chocolate. You flash him one last smile, intending to walk away, but he pipes up before you get too far.

“By the way, we’re having a class on BDSM safety tonight~” You pause at his words, turning to face him, and he grins at the look of interest plain on your face. “In case you’re interested.”

“Are you...implying something?” you ask, posing a hand on your hip as you turn to face him. He cocks his head to the side innocently.

“I would never~ But you’ve left a good impression in the two minutes we’ve known each other, and I’m the one teaching the class, so~ I’d be thrilled to see you there.”

You raise an eyebrow, surprised, but amused as well. “Maybe I’ll see you tonight.”

With that, you turn on your heel and head to class. But you definitely end up attending the class that night.

Beel:

You meet during a 1-credit, weekend Yoga class. He puts his mat down next to yours, and you can’t help but stare at his biceps, and triceps, and...wow he’s really built.

Aside from that, though, he looks pretty concerned.

“Have you never done yoga before?” you ask him, smiling politely. Having caught his attention, he turns to look at you--the same adorable frown pulling at his lips.

“No...I like to work out, but I’ve never done yoga...I’m not very flexible.” You watch him as he demonstrations by sticking his legs out and trying to touch his toes. His fingertips only reach halfway down his calves.

“It’s okay!” you tell him. “I’m pretty new to yoga too! And this is just an intro course, so I wouldn’t worry. Most of the grade comes from knowing technical terms, and I’ve heard this instructor is really nice.”

At that, he finally smiles--relieved to hear you say so.

“I’m Beel, by the way,” he says.

“Y/N,” you respond, but before the two of you get the chance to talk more, the instructor arrives. You then spend the next few hours smiling to yourself as you watch Beel struggle to get into poses. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to mind that you’re getting humor out of his situation.

“Did you not eat today?” you ask him when lunch finally rolls around, flopping back against your mat. He shakes his head, rummaging around in his bag. You can hear his stomach growling.

“I had an extra large breakfast since I knew I would be burning calories, but I’m starving now…” He pulls an entire sub from his bag, and when you catch a peek at the inside, you realize that the entire backpack is stuffed with only food. Holy shit.

But...you suppose he does need to eat a lot, if he works out a lot.

“I’m gonna grab a soda, and I’ll be back,” you say quietly, assuming that you’ll be eating lunch together, since he’s already turning to face your mat. 

“Okay,” he says with a smile, and you smile back at him, excited to get to know him more. However, before you can even get a step away,  you’re tripping over your backpack

The world spins, and you hold your arms in front of you--expecting to eat shit--but you don’t meet the floor. Two arms curl beneath you and your body rolls--your ass landing between folded legs.

You blink in surprise, blushing when you glance up and find that it’s none other than Beel who is holding you. Concern is written on his face. He doesn’t seem the least bit concerned that you’re currently occupying his lap.

“Are you okay?” he asks, not moving to release you, and oh boy you think your heart may beat straight out of your chest.

Belphie:

You meet him in the library computer lab at 11:48pm, on the last day of finals.

You trudge into the computer lab, bordering on going blind. You’ve spent the last 6 hours writing out your term paper, and had felt pretty fucking proud when you’d finished with a whole 30 minutes to spare, but just as you’d gone to submit the paper online, your apartment wi-fi had cut out

Of course.

So, you pop a squat at one of the many computers--not even realizing that someone else is in the lab until you hear a quiet snore.

Immediately, you’re pausing, standing to glance around the room. A few computers down, sitting parallel to you, is a dark haired male, with his head down on the keyboard.

Honestly, you debate not waking him. He probably needs the rest, but as a fellow student, and considering it’s the last day of finals? You can’t just leave him be in good conscience.

“Hey, uh, dude?” you call out, glancing at him from over the row of computers. He doesn’t stir. “Heyyyy~ It’s almost midnight,” you say a bit louder. “I don’t know if you’re writing something, but you better submit it.”

Finally, he stirs.

“Aw, fuck,” you hear him grumble, and he lifts his head up--his tired gaze turning to look at you. He sighs. “Thanks. You probably just saved my ass.”

“No worries,” you respond, laughing a little. You sit back down in your seat, and put in your credentials....only for the computer to indicate that you’ve put in the wrong password.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you say, deadpanning, and try another password. Then another, and another. None of them work, and you don’t have enough time left to change it.

“I’m gonna fucking jump off the roof,” you deadpan, holding your face in your hands. Belphie chuckles.

“Something wrong?”

“I guess I don’t know my computer password, so I can’t log in and submit my paper.” You say, glancing up. This time, it’s Belphie who is glancing over the row of monitors at you, eyebrow raised.

“You can come use mine. I just submitted my paper. Just log into the school site with your ID.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you sigh, and Belphie scoots his chair over as you walk around the aisle to meet him. Again, he laughs.

“Eye for an eye.”

“That’s...you use that phrase with enemies,” you tell him, unable to help the smile that spreads across your face. He blinks, and then groans.

“Fuck, you’re right. I’m still asleep. Just...forget I said that.”

“Actually, I think I’ll remember it forever,” you respond, and he grins, his eyes shifting to look at the keyboard as you type out your password.

“Okay, OppaiLover69 exclamation point.”

You feel your cheeks heat up, and when you see the shit-eating look at his face, you debate throwing hands. He’s lucky he’s cute.