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ineffablydelighted · 1 year ago

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[Cute Omens #3]

That first time Aziraphale visited Crowley's flat (aka: The day Aziraphale met his other children-in-law: Crowley's plants 🌿)

[Future me after ending writing this bit: STOP RIGHT HERE! I didn't expect it to end up being a tad smutty rather than cute but it did so if you don't want to read that: ABHORT MISSION! NOW!]

Crowley: *miracles the door of his flat to open by snapping his fingers**does a reverence* After you, Angel.

Aziraphale: *a little shy* Oh, er, thank you. *already looks everywhere**echoing voice* It is... uhhh... very... rocky. What am I hearing?

[Okay, I might need to precise a thing or two here: in my mind, Crowley's flat somewhat looks like a fancy/modern vivarium, with "human"/entity furniture, natural rock walls, a river flowing all over it and, of course, the humidity that should go with it. Basically, imagine the show's flat with more natural elements... yes, a Despicable me/The Incredibles' villain apartment, exactly!]

Crowley: *enters as well**merely trips for some reason**looks at Aziraphale to make sure he didn't notice**he didn't**acts cool* Oh, that would be the river. And what does "rocky" mean, exactly?

Aziraphale: *looks at him* Wait. You have a river in your flat?

Crowley: *holds himself from sighing* Yeah. I have a river in my flat. Don't make it weird.

Aziraphale: *looks around to find the river's "source"**still cannot believe it* You miracled a river in your flat.

Crowley: *starts being annoyed* Yes, Angel, I miracled a river in my flat. Can we move on or do I need to miracle a lake in the living room to make you talk about something remotely worth speaking about?

Aziraphale: *has started to follow the river to the next room being... Crowley's office, probably?* Annnd you've never had... paperwork... for that?

Crowley: *is closer than Aziraphale expected**watches him startle**super brief inquisitious look* No water bill, so Hell's accountants are pretty pleased, actually. *removes his jacket and throws it on his office chair**same goes for his glasses that finds their way to the nearest plant*

Aziraphale: Oh, o... allright. *shy smile*

Crowley: And are you?

Aziraphale: Hum?

Crowley: Allright.

Aziraphale: *takes a long time to contemplate the question**also, Crowley stays closer to him than usual* Well, we saved the World...

Crowley: Yep, classic Sunday.

Aziraphale: *sad brows*... And my Bookshop has burned down.

Crowley: I know. Sorry it happened, Angel. My Bentley has burned down as well.

Aziraphale: *feels suddenly so guilty* Oh, yes... Sorry about that, by the way. I didn't quite found the occasion to-

Crowley: We can still pop into places until I find a way to repair her. We should be fine.

Aziraphale: Oh, yes, you're right. But, until then, I think we should... um... lay low for a while?

Crowley: Lay low... here?

Aziraphale: Y-yes? *blushes**scared look* I-I mean, only if, uh, if that is okay for you, of course, I-I didn't mean to impo-

Crowley: Angel, I've spent more hours that we could ever count in your Bookshop, it's only fair.

Aziraphale: *little smile* O-okay.

Crowley: *taps his shoulder in a friendly-yet-somewhat-awkward way*

Both: *echange a weird look*

Crowley: Don't think too much about it. *is, himself, thinking too much about it*

Aziraphale: *clears his throat* So, hum... can you... give me... a tour? *tries to smile normally**fails?*

Crowley: Oh, sure thing. Follow me. *one of his arms automatically slides behind one of Aziraphale's shoulders and gently drags him elsewhere*

Aziraphale: *does not remember how to walk properly for a second**looks at Crowley* Ah, sorry.

Crowley: *confused* Nevermind. So. We just leave the office and... Where do you want to go? Left? Right?

Aziraphale: *even more confused* I don't know, hum... Left? *shrugs his shoulders in a shy way*

Crowley: *holds himself from thinking how cute it is for approximately 0.2 miliseconds**smiles more genuinely* Left it is, come on. *Takes Aziraphale's hand without warning*

Aziraphale: Cro-

Crowley: *releases Aziraphale hand as if nothing happened except the fact he felt Aziraphale's heart beating so fast he could feel it at the end of his Angel's figertips**clears his throat* These are... My biggest pride. *looks at his plants with dad eyes**hands on his hips*

Aziraphale: *is looking for a mirror to check if his blushing is obvious or super obvious**cannot find one**looks at the plants* Oh, Crowley, they are most lovely!

[One of the plants shows its gratitude by making a red flower bloom right in front of Aziraphale]

Aziraphale: *approaches it**looks at Crowley* Did you do that?

Crowley: *raising an eyebrow* I thought you did. *suddenly looks at his plants with utmost severity*

[The plants starts shaking]

Aziraphale: *what-now face*

Crowley: *angry AF**threatening mode status: hella activated* So, you're telling me you could grow flowers... THE... ENTIRE... TIME?!

Aziraphale: Cr-Crowley, stop, you're scaring them!

Crowley: *gritted teeth* Apparently, I didn't scare them ENOUGH. *theatrical gestures* What did I tell you all? GROW BETTER! Is that so difficult to understand? Angel! I'm talking to you! IS IT?

Aziraphale: *does movements but eventually stops every single one of them right in the middle* I...

Crowley: *approaches Aziraphale*

Aziraphale: *recoils*

Crowley: *catches Aziraphale's arm and pulls him closer**whispers* Angel, I need you to back me up on this.

Aziraphale: *torn between blushing and being intimidated**as always, ends up doing both**whispers back**kinda panicking* I do not know what you expect me to do, Crowley!

Crowley: *tries not to focus on the fact their temples are touching*Just follow my lead.

Aziraphale: *removes himself from the temple-to-temple situation**unsure but pretends to have 100% understood* O-okay. *awkward thumbs up*

Crowley: *out loud**starts pacing* I am so, SO disappointed in you lot. *points at Aziraphale* And he is disappointed in you, too!

Aziraphale: *says nothing*

Crowley: *looks back at Aziraphale* Angel.

Aziraphale: Oh! Yes! I... I am... very, um... *tries to frown his eyebrows in a threatening way* displeased by your... attitude!

Crowley: Exactly! And you don't know me when I'm disappointed he is disappointed. *marks a pause trying to remember something important**remembers* This is Aziraphale, by the way.

Aziraphale: *waves in New Girl arriving in High School in the middle of the school year* Hello?

Crowley: And if HE is disappointed, oh, I swear to you, come Hell or High Water, I will make anything responsible REGRET IT 'til the end of their days.

Aziraphale: There's no need to be- *catches Crowley's threatening look starting to turn at him and him only**too loud* HE IS A DEMON, YOU SEE? He knows things I could never even imagine!

Crowley: Exactly! And now, time to make an example out of one of you! *aims for a smaller plant and lively grabs it*

Aziraphale: *follows him with little stressed steps* Are you sure about that, Crowley?

Crowley: *high-pitched voice**still theatrical* DO YOU HEAR THAT?! How sweet of him, but you know me and how much I am not. Swee-t. *gets out of the plant room**yells from afar* THIS IS FOR HIDING THINGS FROM ME, IT'S GOING TO BE SO PAINFULL!

Aziraphale: *still following but looking everywhere to not hit a wall or something* C-Crowley, can we talk about this?

Crowley: *do not pay attention to him* YOU'RE GONNA HEAR THINGS YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD IN YOUR WILDEST NIGHTMARES!

[The little plant shakes like crazy in Crowley's hand]

Aziraphale: *is an Angel after all**unsure but tries to take the plant out of Crowley's hands*

Crowley: *higher-pitched, scandalized voice* Wot the Hell are you doing?! *surprised yet swiftly turns to avoid him*

Aziraphale: *almost falls to the floor*

Crowley: *catches him by a bit of his almost-two-centuries-old jacket, avoiding Aziraphale's face to hit the floor 0.5 seconds before impact**still holds the little plant in his other hand*

Aziraphale: *blinks way too much looking at the cold floor* Cro-Crowley!

Crowley: Damn you, Angel! *pulls him back up**reproachful voice*

Aziraphale: I am... SO sorry... I just...

Crowley: Why did you do that?!

Aziraphale: I just... I don't...

Crowley: *grunts**quickly walks away*

Aziraphale: *follows him clumzily until, oh, that's the kitchen*

Crowley: *opens the window*

Aziraphale: *expects him to dramatically throw the plant away*

Crowley: *puts the plant next to a dozen others on the balcony*

Aziraphale: You-

Crowley: *puts a finger on Aziraphale's lips* Shhhh.

Aziraphale: *looks at Crowley's finger**blushes*

Crowley: *yells back**looks for something in a random cupboard* OOOKAY, TIME FOR THE DOUBLE CHAINSAW TREATMENT! *activates the machines*

Aziraphale: *recoils, a hand on his lips*

Crowley: *gives him a "help me here" look*

Aziraphale: *awkward winking**dramatic ethereal being* OH NO, CROWLEY, DON'T DO THIS! I'M BEGGING YOU!

Crowley: YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET, ANGEL! *evil laugh*

Aziraphale: C-CROWLEY, NO, PLEASE DO NOT THROW THIS PLANT AWAY!

Crowley: *takes an empty flower pot**throws it out of the window*

[Noises of a car accident down there]

Aziraphale: *out of his role* Crowley!

Crowley: *shrugs his shoulders**uncertain**checks out* Uh, it's... nothing, Angel!

Aziraphale: *pushes him away without thinking* I don't believe y- CROWLEY!

[Evident scene of two cars having collided because of one having its windshild abruptly crushed by a random flower pot happening]

Crowley: *awkward smile* Well... We saved the world, so... Two cars, I mean, *little misplaced laugh* It's not... that serious, right?

Aziraphale: *points at the exterior**severe out of nowhere* Repair this! Now!

Crowley: *astonished* You... wait a se- sure. *reverses time to avoid a silly car accident**the flower pot has vanished though**hand on a hip**ready to have his revenge* Satisfied?

Aziraphale: *feels the balance shifting between the two of them again**knows he is in trouble**recoils* I-I didn't mean to... Y-you know... say it like that, I...

Crowley: *walks towards him in a snakey way* Oh, really? Because, from where I stand, it feels like you just gave me an order, Angel.

Aziraphale: *not-so-reassured, high-pitched voice* Nooo, of course not, I-I would nev- *bumps into a statue representing... two angels wrestling?!**cannot go further**looks at Crowley, alarmed* Well, I mean, I might have- but you- *weird worried noise* uhhh...

Crowley: *enjoys this way too much**gets closer* Do you really need me to explain how this is supposed to work, Angel?

Aziraphale: *Quirinus Quirrel's laugh* I-I-I... I really didn't mean to- *gasps*

Crowley: *has just taken Aziraphale by the back of his neck**smirks* Of course not, but you still did, and I wonder... *draws him closer until their noses touch**lower his voice* How do you intend to make amends to me, Angel?

Aziraphale: *tries to get away**reminds himself of the statue - how weird of a decorating choice is that?**looks at Crowley intensely* I-I... have... no idea, I...

Crowley: *gets even closer to the point they can only feel each other's breaths now* Hum? Yes? Does not sound like the beginning of an apology I'm expecting, Aziraphale.

Aziraphale: *never heard his name being said like that**heart racing**eye flicker*

[They exchange a rather ineffable gaze.]

Crowley: *smirks again**puts his lips on his Angel's and talks on them* This is your last chance to stop this before I lose my mind.

Aziraphale: Y-you... *gasps like a shojo character**impressed eyes**weird arm movements**almost inaudible little yell* Aaahhh...

Crowley: *intense gaze**whispers* Don't. Panic. You knew what would happen before stepping a foot in here, right?

Aziraphale: *closes his eyes for a second**tries to gather some courage**looks back at Crowley**mumbles* Yes... yes, I did.

Crowley: Finally. *tightens his grip on Aziraphale's neck and presses his lips on his*

Aziraphale: *opens widly his eyes for a second before closing them too hard**indulges with abandon**invites Crowley to press harder by doing it himself*

Crowley: *grabs Aziraphale's hair**time for some tongue action*

Aziraphale: *moans in unholy**grabs Crowley's scarf to pull him closer if that is even possible*

God: And it was possible, obviously! Look at them, Lucy! Look! Satan: How many times have you replayed that moment, exactly? God: *defensive* Nearly two hundred! In other words, nothing! *laughs in Naughty Almighty* Satan: *before leaving* You're gonna owe my lot's channel a crazy, crazy fee this month. God: AND I REGRET NOTHING!

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous - Beginning - Next

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pixiestein · 1 year ago

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bigstupid ramble/rant incoming feel free to ignore//cursing cw

it’s actually very disturbing to me how many people in the monster high fandom think it’s ok to say that abbey & twylas g1 sculpts are “ugly” or “offputting” because they have strong/square jaws & the new molds are sooo much better bc they no longer have them. like i really really really try to be nice here & pardon my language but are you fucking stupid? did you miss literally everything monster high was trying to teach you? did you miss the whole “everyone is unique & beautiful in their own way” thing? or did you just forget that the features you’re calling ugly are features that real people have? genuinely asking because it’s baffling to me how many people who praise g3 for it’s body diversity are foaming at the mouth excited over characters’ unique features being replaced with conventionally attractive ones. u don’t like strong jawlines? awesome, people who have them still deserve to feel beautiful & have gorgeous dolls that look like them & the fact that mh had that & got rid of it is objectively bad. like first of all, a franchise that preaches accepting ppls differences SHOULD have characters with both body types & facial features that aren’t considered “conventionally attractive”. that was one of the issues w g1, their message was about everyone being different but everyone had the exact some skinny body type. & now g3 has greatly improved on body diversity (pls give us an actual plus sized doll tho) yet they’ve been removing diversity in facial features. it fucks me up bc WHY can’t we have rep for diverse body types AND rep for diverse facial features?? and second, bro they are literally monsters. they absolutely should have features that challenge traditional beauty standards because hello she’s a yeti, she needs jaw space to house those bigass tusks. and if those unconventional features look strange to you? GOOD. bask in their strange weird abnormal beauty!! i literally don’t care if u think abbeys new face is cuter & her old jaw was ugly, if you see a person with a prominent jawline & think “hm not aesthetically pleasing enough” unpack that with your therapist, don’t post it on the internet where impressionable kids with those exact features get to see it & gather more fuel for their insecurities. this goes for literally any facial feature or body part btw. basically, bottom line, if it’s a feature that real people have that they can’t control, don’t fucking say a WORD about how aesthetically unpleasant you find it. criticize the fashion, criticize the quality control & messed up face screenings, criticize the weird continuity errors & questionable representation, but if your issue with a doll is their body type/facial features look ugly to u, shut the fuck up!!!!!!

#NOT trying to be mean i’m just a very confrontational person #ac if u think that conventionally attractive ‘cute’ faces are better than diverse features then maybe i am trying to b mean to you #this might all be poorly worded & sound stupid but that’s just me babey!!#gibe us fuckigng uhhhh more diverse features give us big noses give us downturned eyes give us sharp cheekbones gib is chubby faces pls #if i was in charge of monster high it would have zero issues & i genuinely believe that #i am allowed a little hubris. as a treat.#yofhsgsjd cleo w classic egyptian features deuce w a classic greek nose #buff girls???? ik the bodies are better but they still follow the hourglass shape w narrow shoulders giv me BIG ARMS girl #honestly at this point i’m just making my own monster high bc neither g1 or g3 have everything i want from the franchise #maybe it’s mostly ppl on ig that are being weird abt the face sculpts idk maybe i’m too worked up #i just get so into monster high stuff i get so passionate #maybe i’ll delete idk #happy disability month the undiagnosed autism is going bananas this evening #cw cursing #cw swearing #monster high #mh #monster high dolls #monster high gen 1 #monster high gen 3 #mh g1 #mh g3 #abbey bominable #twyla boogeyman #rant

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