#the angst wasn't there yet but i built it up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chuluoyi · 4 months

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒 !

- gojo satoru x reader // zen'in naoya x reader

in the wake of your scandalous divorce, you fall into the arms of emperor gojo satoru. for a while, you believe you have found love… until it becomes clear that your new husband is scheming behind your back! love, marriage, divorce… are you doomed to go through this path the second time?

genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—might be ooc, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, marriage of convenience, explicit smut, pregnancy

note: loosely inspired by and taking some elements of manhwa remarried empress. this is the second part of remarried empress au trilogy! wc. 9.2k ! thank you so much for your love in the first part🩵 but as of now, TAGLIST IS CLOSED so i'd appreciate it if the comment section won't be flooded with asks for tags :')

credit header goes to @/mongsanghwa in twitter!

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Heavens, help me... I love her too damn much!

For Gojo Satoru, love was once an abstract concept. At first, he thought it was admiration, or a sense of obsession—

But on the day he watched you become Zen’in Naoya’s bride, Satoru realized it was much deeper than that. It felt like the sharpest sword had pierced straight into him and lodged itself there.

And then, years later— as if hearing his prayers, you became his. Since then, his life was perfect, because he wasn't lying when he said that you were everything he wanted in life.

Yet in a twist of fate, that same sinking, horrific feeling washed over him... as he watched the pagoda he built for you engulfed in flames.

You were there. Satoru felt himself staggering as he took in the mortifying sight. You and his unborn child are inside!

He didn't waste a breath as he dashed towards where you were, crushing everything in his path in the process, but just as he was about to enter the scorching temple—

“Satoru, no!” Suguru grabbed him, restraining him with his own body. “Get back!”

“No!” he screamed at him frantically. “She is there! Suguru, let go—!”

And then the worst happened, as the pagoda completely crumbled into a heap of rubble. Satoru's breath was knocked out of him as he faced the reality that he couldn't save you in time. And he felt like losing his consciousness as he wheezed, and thrashed in Suguru's hold.

It was all too much for him to comprehend as he struggled against the devastation before him.

How... did this happen? You were happy. You were about to welcome a child into your lives! The two of you really were...

SEVERAL WEEKS PRIOR

Your husband is trying to use you to wage a war... against your homeland.

You secluded yourself in your study, trying to make sense what you just overheard.

In a broader perspective, Satoru's actions could be constituted as national defense. If he perceived the Eastern Empire as a threat, then countermeasures were indeed necessary. But if not...

Regardless, it was not the very idea that blew you, but how he planned to use you to sway sentiment in your former country, to weaken them.

Is that what he's been aiming all this time? You felt like a hypocrite to question this since you too were using him. But these days, you were certainly not using him—you were falling in love with him.

It was strange, because you were supposed to be furious if that was his intent from the start. Yet what you felt right now was profound sadness, possibly even denial and heartbreak. You kept thinking how there must be another explanation—

“Sweetheart, hello~!”

You were startled when the door to your study was suddenly flung open, and the man from your thoughts strode in with a broad grin, completely oblivious to your inner turmoil.

"Satoru." You fixed him with a genial smile, even as nausea churned within you. Straightening your skirts, you looked up at him.

"I've been told you haven't been well, and Shoko said you've seen the physician," Satoru frowned, his long fingers cradling your face as he half-sat on your desk. "How did it go? What did he say?"

"Oh..." you clammed up, feeling at loss. "He said..."

Your dashing husband tilted his head curiously, bright eyes softened, worried lines etched on his face were so clear... and despite your conflict, you didn't have the heart to deny him this news.

"I'm with child." This time, your smile was genuine as you pushed back your intrusive thoughts. "Satoru... I'm carrying our child."

For a full ten seconds, Satoru was stunned, staring at you with a blank expression, his lips slightly parted. "H-huh...? Child? A... baby?"

"Mm-hm. A living baby."

"O-oh..." Satoru blinked his eyes rapidly—looking at your face, then your abdomen—before his expression broke into absolute wonder, broadly grinning. "T-that's... oh— it's—!"

To say he was speechless didn't cut it as he stuttered, messed his hair, pinched his own cheek, becoming restless yet looking so incredibly giddy—

"My queen!" Satoru suddenly lifted you and spun you around midair. "My beautiful wife—!" before gently sitting you on the desk and burying his face in your skirts, hugging your waist tightly. "Good lord, I'm— I'm so—!"

It hadn't truly dawned on you until now that you were going to become a mother. Witnessing Satoru's unabashed reaction as he nestled his face into you… nearly brought tears to your eyes.

Right in this moment, you didn't entertain any other thoughts. You were deeply moved by your husband's overwhelming excitement for your baby. And the realization that, despite Naoya's accusations—

Satoru looked up at you the second you sniffled, and he immediately drew you closer, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Hey, no tears, yeah?" He rested a hand on your jaw, his eyes sparkling with utter adoration as he gazed at you. "This is wonderful. We're going to be parents. This child... a part of you and me—we're going to bring them into the world."

You tugged his collar close and brushed your lips against his. And he responded with equal fervor. You yearned for this closeness with him.

. . .

But still in the back of your head, that lingering, buried fear whispered—

Is the man who adores you this much... capable of hurting you to the same extent?

With your bare bodies pressed closely, and you under him, Satoru could sense the rapid beat of your heart. And in return, you felt the heat of his palms against your skin and the tremors in his breath.

Yet now, in your marital bed, it quickly became clear to him that you, who were usually so composed and collected, were nervous. Satoru couldn't suppress the smile spreading across his face even if he tried.

"This is far from our first time, Empress." His coy smirk taunted you as he littered kisses along your jawline and chest. "What are you so jittery about, hmm?"

"Ah..." you let out a soft sigh as he sucked your breast with his mouth. "N-nothing... you're mistaken."

"Hmm... not confessing? Right..." He then grabbed the generous mound of your other breast and fondled it, making you squirm and moan.

But in the midst of this eroticism, suddenly your mind was thrown back to—

“That’s why I have her here.”

"Satoru," you breathed out, catching his hands. He looked up to you in slight surprise, thinking that you wanted to stop.

But he was in for a plot twist when you first pushed him, then flipped him underneath you, straddling him and capturing his lush lips, yanking his hair in the process.

"Whoa— hey..." Satoru held your hips, visibly startled but clearly enjoying your sudden whim, snickering. "My queen—ohh— you're a sight to behold, on top of me."

He grabbed the flesh of your bottom, sinking his fingers into it and pulling you forward. You let yourself be moved until your thighs were next to his ears.

Suddenly, it was, at once, the most peculiar experience—the greatest confidence boost you had ever received, and the hottest thing he had ever seen.

"You're so damn wet already," your husband nipped your inner thigh playfully as he observed your folds, and you gasped. "Are you ready?"

In response, you slammed yourself onto his face because, right now, you were in a less than forgiving mood.

"You look good under me," you darkly retorted, but then you choked on your own breath when your husband started licking your folds messily with his tongue.

Satoru smirked at the sound of your breathless noises, responding by lapping even more fervently. Your fingers tangled in his hair, tightening their grip on his scalp as you began to grind yourself against his face.

"You a-are really n-nasty!" you moaned, voice breaking at the feeling his sinful tongue parting your opening. "Maybe y-you have lied to me… all th-is time."

Satoru furrowed his brows in slight confusion, and perhaps a bit of annoyance, as he pinched your clit in retaliation, causing you to draw in a sharp breath.

"You're— awful!" but contrary to your claims, your face contorted with pleasure as the tight coil in your belly spasmed. "How m-many women... h-have you beguiled like m-me?"

He almost laughed into your ass. Literally. If being called awful was the price for pleasuring the most beautiful woman in the lands, then Satoru would be happy to be that horrible person every day of his life.

But then, you suddenly shifted on top of him, no longer positioning your hips in his face, and he quickly caught your face, crashing his lips against yours so both of you wouldn’t part for even a second.

"Nobody else," he murmured, wet lips and tongue ravishing yours, so much lust glistening in his eyes. "I'm all yours— forever." Just as he whispered it amidst pants, he groaned when your hand sneakily went to his very hard length.

And firmly grasped it. He got swollen just by tasting you and hearing your noises earlier. He growled, and against his senses, he pushed you down to lodge it inside you, penetrating and splitting you apart in one go.

“Ah—! Satoru— it’s too…!” you babbled breathlessly, your nails digging into his shoulders, feeling his huge cock pulsing inside your tight walls.

“Your fault,” he rebuked, eyes narrowing into darker shades, rigorously moving his hips against yours as he sat up. It was impossible to hold it in any longer, he could feel it already.

He tensed up, adjusting his position, so close to losing it inside you, and when he heard your dirty mewls and felt you shudder—reverberating through his body too—Satoru gripped your waist tighter, groaning, holding you in place to release his load inside you with precision.

Your body gave in as well, releasing at the same moment his cum burst inside you. Your vision blurred as the nastiest of moans escaped you, yet you felt so safe as your husband caught you in his arms.

. . .

"Are you okay?" Satoru asked worriedly after you rolled off him in the aftermath of your bliss. "Do you feel sick?" Your unfocused eyes met his, and he looked panicked, pulling you closer. "Shit, did I go too far? I shouldn't have, especially with the baby still in the early stages..."

"I'm... okay," you croaked, trying to reassure him. "Just tired..."

Heaving a relieved sigh, Satoru pecked you in the lips.

"Am I... a mess?" you leaned on him with a blissful smile, feeling his cum still trickling out between your legs.

"Yeah... My beautiful mess, that is." Satoru chuckled, reveling in the state of your disarray. "Soon enough," his hands traced your skin before settling on your tummy, a fond smile curving his lips. "Our baby will grow here."

"Yes—" you replied, placing your palm over his. "Do you... want a boy or girl?"

A boy would be the much sought-after prince, and you fully expected him to favor it, until to your surprise, Satoru lightly hummed and pressed a kiss on your belly button.

"Does that matter? What's important is you deliver them safely and they're healthy," he chuckled. "A princess will be nice... she'll turn out to be as lovely as you."

"But the heir has to be a prince..."

"Nah. I can always amend the succession norms. I'm the emperor."

And you giggled next. Seeing how free you looked, Satoru thought you were the woman overturning his skies and stars, and you truly are—as now you are the mother of his own flesh and blood, his future empire.

There will be a nation-wide celebration for you. Satoru insisted it was a must, and he would invite dignitaries from neighboring empires and kingdoms as well.

Including the Eastern Empire.

. . .

“Your Majesty. I... bring a gift and an invitation from the Western Empire.”

Naoya clacked his heel on the carpet, casting a sharp, yet uninterested look at his aide.

“There will be a celebration for—” the poor man gulped uneasily, faltering as if he could foresee how his emperor would react. Naoya scowled.

“Spit it out.”

“The former empress’ pregnancy, Your Majesty!”

“What...?” At that moment, he snapped his head towards him. It felt like everything he had ever known came crashing down. “Y/N...?”

That can’t be possible. For many years both of you had failed. That was why he took that maid and divorced you. No, upon reflection, it was never truly his intention to divorce you—he had wanted you to raise that child if you couldn't bear one.

But then you completely ignored him and had an affair with Gojo Satoru. He was furious. He couldn't bear the disgrace of it all, so he went with the divorce, if only to assert some control. However, the joke was on him, as you ultimately fled with Gojo entirely.

But if you aren’t infertile... Then, what did that make him?

Numerous thoughts ran through his mind. Was it possible that it was his child instead of Gojo’s? How many months had it been anyway?

...or could it be that he is the one who is—!

“No...” he muttered, frantic, taking sharp breaths. “Absolute rubbish!”

The aide stared at him in fear, as Naoya appeared unhinged now. But soon, that fear gave away to pity, as the emperor trashed his desk and howled in frustration— but contrary to the expected fury, Naoya looked like he was mourning, evident by the way he flung everything but the very portrait from his coronation day.

Of him and you. Even after that disastrous divorce, he had never taken it down from the wall of his study. Now, Naoya was staring at it, a multitude emotions clouding his eyes.

This man, just as the aide had always thought, has thrown away the only good thing he has in his life.

“Are the invitations sent already?” Satoru asked with a blooming smile, rolling the yarn out of his cat’s reach as the poor kitty grappled to catch it. “And how are the preparations going?”

“Banquets are usually handled by the Empress, but you really go out of your way and do it instead,” Suguru shook his head, unamused by the added workload it brought him, especially considering his disinterest in festivities.

“They’re all sent, some of them responded—before you ask, Naoya hasn’t— and I’ve cascaded the preparation to Shoko, since I have no clue what to do about it.”

“Well, not that I care if he’s going to stay sour and wants his name tarnished in the daily papers as a bitter ex-husband…” Satoru shrugged, petting Sugu-chan as the cat purred contentedly. “He is tactless, he very well might be.”

“You really want to spite him, don’t you…” Suguru sighed. “You even sent him a note. It was unnecessary.”

“He was the one hurling curses at me and my empress first. I’m just returning the favor.”

The note in question was of lines after lines of flowery nonsense about gratitude and whatnot. Satoru imagined Naoya's vein would burst after reading his card.

“I’m happy for you, Satoru.” As exasperated as Suguru was, his smile was genuine when he said it. “A royal baby, huh...”

"Suguru." The emperor's voice suddenly dropped an octave, surprising him. "What about the placement of the totem I told you the other day?"

The abrupt shift in conversation made Suguru visibly uncomfortable, and again, they were back to this topic.

"You're seriously going to do this?" the duke asked, almost in disbelief. "Satoru, you're going to become a father. You have everything already. This will lead to war one way or another, and—what if the Empress finds out? How do you think it'll make her feel?"

However, Satoru's gaze was cold as he dismissed most of Suguru's tirade. There was a chill in his expression that made his longtime friend inwardly questioned who the man before him was.

"I'm asking you. Have you done it or not, Suguru?"

"You're going to put a curse on a whole village, Satoru."

"I told Zen'in Naoya the moment I got Y/N, that it would mark the beginning of his downfall. I'm making good on that promise."

Suguru pressed his eyes shut to calm his fury. Morally, what Satoru did was wrong, but politically, this was the art of war. Suguru purely opposed to this out of consideration for you.

Few understood Satoru's actions as well as Suguru did. He might understand, others like you and Shoko wouldn't.

"Just remember, when the Empress catches wind of this, she's going to resent you," Suguru warned. "No matter what your reasoning might be."

Satoru's upper lip curled upwards, his eyes bereft of light, narrowing with indifference.

"Unless you never tell her, that is of no relevance."

Love... has he ever loved you all this time?

Naoya had never been confronted with that question or pondered it, simply because he never considered love existed within the context of something as grand as monarchy.

You were chosen because you were well-bred and well-versed in the arts of nobility. You were indeed the epitome of an ideal empress, a fact evident throughout your tenure.

But...

"Naoya!" you yelled at him and caught his hand. "You're a fool! Why did you keep doing that!?"

It was a long-buried memory, when you were still in your teens, around the time you were just made the crown princess. His hands, bruised and bloodied, and you tended to them.

"I'm not weak, you know," he sullenly barked. "I have to train to be stronger."

"You definitely have to train, yes... but you have to take breaks!" you retorted angrily.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" he snapped back. "It's not like your hands that are injured."

And that moment, you were suddenly almost in tears. Naoya never understood why.

"Don't cry." But his instincts told him to make you not cry. "Don't cry. I'm fine, see?"

. . .

Zen'in Naoya jerked awake from his slumber, realizing he had forgotten what his dream was, that it was still the late afternoon, and he was still in his study.

All he felt was that nostalgic feeling, and it intensified when he glanced up... only to see his coronation portrait on the wall.

It was almost as if you were still here. You were incredibly stunning, he had to admit that. Why hadn’t he realized until just recently?

The way your crimson dress flowed out, and that thin, serene smile on your face... you were a picture-perfect empress, and that was not an exaggeration. No one could measure up to you—

"Your Majesty~!"

Especially not Hanabi.

"Your Majesty, the princess has started holding her head up!" Hanabi, now no longer dressed in rags but rather in one of your dresses, excitedly remarking, "Soon, she will start to—"

Naoya's gaze fell on her dress. He recognized it instantly. That specific deep, vibrant shade of red with serpent-like waistband. It was one of his gifts to you for your birthday. "Why are you wearing that?"

"Huh?" she seems perplexed. "Oh this... I thought it looks pretty..."

But to her surprise, he suddenly flared with fury. "That isn't yours, you dullard," he spat out.

Her expression sank in heartbreak as he continued with his venomous speech. "Know your place." His words cut like a blade. "And I keep telling you, a princess is of no use to the throne!"

Hanabi fought to hold back the tears, because not only had he insulted her, worse still, he showed no interest in their daughter. "She is still of your blood, Your Majesty," she replied, her voice trembling.

"I told you, I only want a heir." His sneer caused her eyes to widen in shock. "Other than that, I won't care."

"Your Majesty, please—" Hanabi was desperate for him to acknowledge their daughter, when she caught sight of your ethereal face on the wall.

He still hasn't taken it down. It made her eyes twitch, and her own anger to rise.

"The former empress..." she stared at your picture resentfully. "You still have her here. We never even have our portraits painted..."

Naoya's icy gaze leveled at her without a hint of sympathy, despite the woman standing before him being the mother of his child.

"Why do you look at me like that?" Hanabi asked, tears spilling from her eyes. "You used to care for me when you thought I would bear you a son. Even if it's a daughter, she deserves love too, doesn't she?"

In the last five years, she had come to know that the emperor wasn't always this manic person. He used to be gentler, or at least not as vindictive.

And she never truly wanted you to be cast away like that. She looked up to you, admired you from up close, and meant it when she said she would carry your legacy as best as she could.

"Are you dumb?" Naoya barked. "I told you to know your place!"

...yet why? Why are people in this palace so harsh to her?

“I wish you luck on that, Hanabi. Beware, the emperor is fickle…”

Your unkind eyes, Naoya's disdainful stares even after she gave birth to his child... She didn't even care about becoming the empress anymore. She just wanted a happy life!

"If it was the former empress' child... even if it was a princess..." Hanabi turned to him with determination even amidst her pitiful tears. "You wouldn't cast her aside just like you do now with my daughter, would you, Your Majesty?"

Naoya's gaze, devoid of emotion and filled with blatant disinterest more than anything, shot through her, hurting her more than if it was filled with fury instead.

The lack of warmth in his stare made her feel like being looked through rather than being seen. As if she is that insignificant.

"Leave," he ordered coldly next, turning his back on her.

And there is her answer.

Hanabi had been your maid for five long years. She knew who you were, what you stood for, and your whole demeanor. Yet, despite her best efforts, she could never emulate you in the same way, could she?

. . .

"My lady... don't you know that the former empress is with child?"

Once again, Hanabi felt the sting of ice when her lady-in-waiting delivered the news.

"Empress... Y/N?" she whispered. "How...?"

You were stripped of your titles here, and yet you still remained a queen somewhere else. Hanabi might have won Naoya's favor, but now she was losing it while you had another emperor's affection.

Not much had changed about you. You still occupied the highest seat a woman could possibly attain. Whereas she...

"But she is barren!" she turned to her confidant then, almost in disbelief.

"Evidently not. Emperor Gojo has proven that."

How nice. A part of Hanabi wanted to congratulate you because she knew of your sufferings—how much you longed to hold a baby from your womb in your arms.

How unfair... But another part of her couldn't help but despise you. Because even in your absence, she still had to live in your shadow. Because you, who had lost everything, regained it all so easily.

"And my lady... Emperor Gojo is going to throw a banquet for this occasion next month. You are expected to attend it."

"Sweetheart, you asleep?"

One night, several weeks later, just as you were about to drift off to sleep, you felt the sheets shift as Satoru slipped into bed beside you.

Though you didn't turn to face him, you felt his warm hands wrap around your waist from behind.

"Satoru... you're back," you murmured sleepily.

"Mm-hmm," he whispered, pulling you closer to his chest and burying his face in your hair, taking in your scent. "Shoko told me you've been in your bedchamber since breakfast. Are you okay?"

"I get queasy if I walk too much, so I've been lying down all day... But don't worry, the physician said it's normal in early stages of pregnancy."

His grip on you tightened, as he caressed your belly. "Hmm, naughty baby. I'm sorry I wasn't here..."

"Where were you?"

For days now, he had been away, and you hadn't really questioned him. You had your guesses though—

"I was overseeing the construction of a new pagoda," he said softly, kissing your neck. "For you, actually."

That was so unexpected that it made you open your eyes fully. "What— for me?" Building pagoda was definitely not a small affair. Usually it was for religious purposes.

"It's a gift to the heavens for blessing me with you and our baby. It's expected to be completed before your celebration banquet."

The tower would be the testament of his love for you and your unborn child. Despite yourself, your heart swelled with overwhelming warmth.

"You're so silly... why do you spend the tax funds for that?" you brushed off the faint heat in your face, not daring to look at him still.

"Whatever I wouldn't do for you?" he cheekily retorted, chuckling.

You had never felt this cherished before, and this time you were certain—you were more than ready to fall in love with this man.

But he... is planning to use you, isn't he?

"Satoru." You shuffled to turn and face him, causing him to crack his lidded eyes open. You gazed at him, placing both of your hands on his face, caressing his face softly.

You're so kind to me. I appreciate you for that. You wanted to tell him various things, but the darkness in your heart ever since overhearing his exchange with Suguru made it hard for you to do so.

"Mm? What is it?" he drawled with a small smile, leaning into your touch.

“You... love me, don't you?”

His bright eyes found yours then, sharp and steady. An impossibly fond smile graced his lips, as if finding what you said the most natural thing there was.

“Throughout heaven and earth,” he proclaimed, his voice steady to match his eyes. “Yes, my queen.”

...then you would trust him, if only just for this moment. The genuine sincerity in his eyes, the raw authenticity in his words... it all felt too real.

And so, even when you were well-aware of the bitter possibility of truth, you leaned in and kissed him, giving yourself to his touch as his hand slipped inside you.

And soon, came the day of the lavish banquet solely held to celebrate your pregnancy.

You were seated on your throne, dressed in a stunning aquamarine gown. The skirt of the dress was full and flowing, spilling onto the floor in a waterfall of shimmering fabric. Upon your head perched your crown of diamonds, glinting beneath the light, and your ceremonial veil to make you look as queenly as you could possibly be.

Everyone would agree that you were a sight to behold, and that you were worthy of every praise possible.

"Many congratulations to you, Your Majesty."

"This is a splendid news! A royal baby!"

"To think that the emperor has settled down... sniff, how long have we been waiting for this...? We almost gave up."

You almost giggled at the way Archbishop Yaga wiped his tears with a handkerchief as he presented you with his gift.

Despite your initial reservations, you enjoyed the festivities more than you expected. You had opposed the idea at first, finding it quite unnecessary, but Satoru had pouted for three long days until you eventually relented to appease him.

Speaking of him, he was equally dressed to impress, looking every bit as an emperor he was in an exquisite aquamarine military uniform and robes. Despite engaging in conversation with Earl Nanami, he kept a watchful eye on you, stealing glances in your direction to ensure you were well.

You nodded at him, and he threw you a wink. You smiled.

Everything was truly going well... until the herald announced:

"Prince Megumi and Royal Consort Hanabi from Eastern Empire!"

There was suddenly a hush over the crowd as the two made their entrance. You stilled, looking at the figure responsible for your checkered life—

Hanabi was starkly different since the last you saw her at the courthouse during your divorce. Her dress was now a vibrant shade of burgundy red, reminiscent of a gown you once wore. Gone was her air of humility, replaced by a display of extravagance befitting a noblewoman.

She is no longer your maid, but Naoya's consort. There was no trace of the woman who once served you. You were actually impressed, as she could actually shape herself into the image of a royal consort.

"Empress." However, your attention quickly shifted to Naoya's nephew, and once also your ward, Megumi, as he bowed before you respectfully. "Congratulations."

A fond smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you regarded the young prince who had once been a very shy individual. It reminded you of the days spent with him just to get him out of his shell.

"Thank you, Megumi."

"Diamonds suit you far better than golds do. I wish only for the best for you, Your Majesty."

It warmed your heart, really. Using that reference to your gold crown from your time in the Eastern Empire, you could see how much Megumi truly understood your position and bore no resentment towards you.

Could the same be said for Naoya though?

Right after you received his gift—an ornate box that seemed oddly familiar to you—Hanabi suddenly blurted out:

"So, fate has smiled upon you. Congratulations Empress Y/N." She kept that soft, meaningful smile on her face as she offered her felicitations.

Ever since her arrival was announced, something about her demeanor had bothered you. There was a subtle emptiness that seemed to linger in her gaze.

"Thank you," you responded, and that was when you noticed it. There was never any celebration for the birth of her daughter and Naoya, only a passing announcement.

And so, you added. "Congratulations on the birth of the princess too."

You could have sworn her expression fell for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure and bowed her head to you.

For a while, you lost sight of her in the crowd, feeling quite comfortable in your dais. Soon after, Satoru returned to your side, and the herald announced:

"Attention! His Majesty the Emperor's gift for Her Majesty the Empress!"

You looked at Satoru questioningly, and he gave you a dashing smirk before turning to the crowd.

"Thank you, all of you, for joining us to celebrate this joyous occasion." The way he carried himself and the sheer confidence he exuded was mesmerizing, you couldn't deny how it made you swoon. "I've been infamous for many things, and I'm sure the tales have spread far and wide. So please, allow me one more gesture with you as the witnesses."

The crowd giggled at his words, and you finally spotted Hanabi among them, quietly assessing the scene.

Your husband turned to you, a soft smile on his face.

"This is for you my empress— my lovely queen. Words can't describe how elated I am to know that now you bear our child." He took your hand and pressed a kiss on it. "And it's only fitting that I praise you along with the skies and the stars."

A footman arrived and presented a pearly box. Satoru opened it, revealing a necklace inside. The centerpiece was a large, flawless diamond surrounded by smaller, perfectly cut stones of the same kind. No matter how you saw it, it was truly a work of art, meant to captivate and dazzle anyone who laid eyes on it.

You let out a gasp. "This..."

Satoru grinned, picking up the jewelry and preparing to place it on you. "Nothing much. Just a little trinket for you."

"This is not just a 'little trinket'!"

Your banter elicited another round of snickers from the audience as Satoru fastened the necklace around your neck. The moment he did, the crowd erupted into applause.

"Actually, my real gift is the new pagoda in the royal gardens, built in honor of the Empress," Satoru stated effortlessly, grinning unabashedly. "Feel free to stop by later, everyone."

To the ton, for him to gift you with something so sacred was the height of extravagance. Some of them wondered how you had managed to turn the elusive emperor into someone so devoted to you.

And a few... might be harboring ill will against you for it.

. . .

Later that night, you were sorting through the gifts you had received throughout the day.

"I don't understand, why would you give an expecting woman this?" Shoko picked apart a manuscript that was the gift from Archbishop Yaga. "Who would read this?"

"I wouldn't, but I'm sure Duke Geto would," you replied, and soon the two of you were giggling together.

From jewelry to ornaments, you were pleased with all the gifts presented by the guests from day one. While most were given out of formality, it was heartwarming to imagine your baby seeing all these someday.

Your attention soon turned to the box Megumi handed you earlier—Naoya's gift.

You were intrigued, because what could your spiteful ex-husband could possibly give you? And you immediately reached over to open the lid to find...

"What's that?" Shoko asked as your eyes widened in slight surprise.

Inside the box was an intricate gold and ruby necklace. One you knew well. The very one you wore during your coronation as the Empress of the Eastern Empire.

Years ago, Naoya himself had chosen this piece for you, and now he was gifting it to you, again?

“From now on, it’s going to be me and you, Empress.”

Reliving years of your marriage with him wasn't easy. You two were childhood sweethearts, and had been happy in the beginning. You couldn't pinpoint when things began to fall apart, but suddenly Naoya turned into such a person you didn't recognize altogether.

Seeing this relic made you nostalgic, and before you realized it, you touched it, trying to get a better look—

"Ah—!"

Suddenly, a sharp, unexpected pain shot through your abdomen. You instantly dropped the jewelry, letting it crash to the ground, and clutched your lower belly.

"Empress! What happened?!" Shoko rushed to your side in an instant, holding you up, and you whimpered.

"It hurts—!" Your breath hitched, as a seemingly invisible knife gutted you from inside. The intensity of the pain was overwhelming, leaving you gasping for breath. "Shoko, please—"

And before you could even scream or think, the pain blindsided you and your vision titled, before blacking out completely.

First came the warmth, then a reassuring squeeze on your hand. As your consciousness returned, you felt groggy, with your surroundings sharpening into focus.

The first thing that became your main focus the moment your eyes fluttered open was Satoru's face, a mixture of fright and relief etched across his features.

"You're awake..." He breathlessly muttered, sitting on your bedside, interlacing his fingers with yours. "How do you feel?"

"Sa...toru..." your voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper, and as soon as he heard you speak, he exhaled sharply, pulling you into a tight embrace.

"Heavens, I—" he let out a long sigh, his breath hot against your neck. "I'm so glad... you are..."

"What h-happened to me...?" you were feeling feverish and a dull throb was pounding at the back of your head, before the shock of it all dawned on you. "B-baby...! Our—!"

"Baby is okay too, don't worry," Satoru assured, pulling away from you to gently touch your cheek and squeeze your hand. "Both of you are fine for now..."

The horror that you might lose your baby shook you to the very core. Your vision blurred with the threatening onset of tears.

"Wh-at happened to me, Satoru...?" you asked again as he wiped your first falling tears, your heartbeat sounding so loud in your ears. "I-I was just..."

His expression took on a sudden shift, as if a dark cloud had passed over his face.

"You came into contact with a cursed object," he stated, his eyes hard as he locked onto yours. "You were cursed, Y/N."

"What...?" You were rendered speechless, feeling your body starting to shake. Cursed object? Your past coronation necklace?

Naoya was trying to curse you?

"It's okay, I'm here now, yeah?" Satoru's voice broke through your spiraling thoughts, grounding you in the present. "Look at me. Hey, look at me." he repeated, his deep blue eyes locking onto yours with intensity.

“I’m here. I’m here with you. Nothing—absolutely nothing—will touch you so long as I’m here.”

But in that moment, your mind was so overwhelmed with fear for yourself and your unborn baby that you couldn't fully grasp the magnitude of the mess unfolding before you, and you just cried in his arms.

Feeling your feeble fingers fisting his robes and your inconsolable tears staining his collar, Satoru gritted his teeth.

“This won't happen again,” he whispered into your hair, feeling his rage simmering as he felt the tremors of your sobs against his chest. “I swear, I won't let anything like this happen again.”

To Satoru, that was more than enough to justify all his subsequent actions. Putting a curse on his empress essentially amounted to an act of beginning a war.

And it also meant he no longer had to operate behind the scenes.

“Keep them in Clock Tower. No contact. Only food and water at designated times.”

Satoru's icy gaze on the captain of royal guard compelled him to hastily comply with the order, before his eyes landing on the map of the entire continent.

In response to the incident that befell you, he issued orders for open hostility along the eastern and western borders. Soon after, he would formally declare his intention to go to war.

So close. He was so close to achieving his end goal.

. . .

"Satoru!"

Several days later, Suguru burst into his study, visibly outraged. He clenched his fists, looking as if he was about to throttle him altogether.

"You—" he heaved a harsh breath. "You have gone too far!"

"What are you talking about, Suguru?"

"Is cursing the entire winery village not enough for you?" This was the first time Suguru had been this furious with him. "Did you really have to massacre the neighboring district as well?!"

"They have placed a curse on my empress." It was so easy for him to say it. "Anyone who dares to harm her shall die."

"You can direct it at Zen'in Naoya! Not the innocent civilians!"

Satoru remained silent, neither shaken nor enraged, and he had finally had enough.

“Are you even sure it’s because the empress is cursed?" Suguru challenged. In his view, this farce had been going on too long.

“No, Satoru. You are just using her. For so long, you have wanted to bring bloodshed to Western Empire. You were almost there when Empress Y/N proposed that deal to marry you.”

You were informed, days later.

“His Majesty has placed the prince and royal consort of the Western Empire under strict watch in Clock Tower.”

Clock Tower was essentially the prison where they kept war criminals. Learning that Satoru had confined both Megumi and Hanabi there left you aghast.

After some days of bedrest and getting better, you realized that the entire situation still didn't make sense to you. As hateful as Naoya was, harming you would do him more harm than good. Eastern and Western Empires stood evenly matched in military power, and hence, a conflict between them would bring devastation to both sides.

And moreover, you knew for sure was that Megumi was definitely not the one responsible for this. He was just a boy!

You had to let him out somehow. You had to talk to Satoru about this.

Or at least that was what you thought when you came close to his study.

“Are you even sure it's because the empress is cursed? No, Satoru. You are just using her. For so long, you have wanted to bring bloodshed to Western Empire. You were almost there when Empress Y/N proposed that deal to marry you.”

You stopped on your tracks—stunned into place, to be exact.

“And you’ve struck gold when she did because her influence will provide you with greater advantage.” Suguru scoffed then, lightly shaking his head with a sneer. “Love? How laughable. All these years, you are planning your warpath, how could you claim you love her when you're trying to ravage her homeland without even considering the impact it would have on her?”

It felt like whiplash. Geto Suguru's voice had your feet rooted to the spot, causing all your doubts to resurface and sizzle in an instant. The very question you had tried to avoid, it was suddenly shoved in your face.

What... will Satoru say? Your heart thumped so loud in your ears it made you almost stagger. He couldn't possibly. He simply couldn't. All his actions... they reflected his affection for you and you believed it because you felt it yourself too.

But Satoru's next response was—

“Even when she is derided as the devil, I will bring an end to the Zen’in line in this lifetime.”

And a part of your heart withers then.

The tips of your fingers trembled, finally taking in everything that you had tried to ignore for the past few weeks. It all caught up to you in one overwhelming rush.

Suddenly, it felt as if something inside your chest was torn out and held up for you to see.

"I'm telling you, that day will come sooner than you think, Satoru." Suguru's voice broke through, his frustration palpable. His words snapped you out of your reverie, and you took a step back, retreating to the safety of your study.

The first time you felt utter hollowness wrecking you was when you had suspected that Naoya might have taken Hanabi to his bed. The feelings overwhelming you now were eerily similar to how you felt back then.

Only in this case…

You had used him first, and if he used you in return... you couldn't fault him.

But isn't it still a bitter truth, even when a mutual transaction is very well within his rights, to know that what you believe as love may apparently not really be the case?

Love... of course, he loves you.

Of that, he was certain.

But at the same time… he had his ambitions.

Destroying the Eastern Empire. Was it so wrong that he wanted it? Didn't you want this as well? After all, Naoya had spurned you for a lowly servant and made your life hell, didn’t he?

Satoru strolled through the halls and made his way to your study, where the sight of you, so pretty and regal in your seat, greeted him.

His beautiful, graceful wife and empress of his nation. For so long, he had desired you, and now here you were, perched within his walls. His heart couldn't be more full— his life is complete already.

"Sweetheart, hey... how are you feeling today?" an adoring grin was visible on his face as he approached you. "Does the baby give you trouble today?"

You didn't answer though, and didn't look at him either. It was quite strange, Satoru thought.

"What's wrong? Is there something—" And when you finally turned to him, the look in your eyes was so eerily cold it almost gave him a chill.

"Release Megumi from your dungeon," you told him with a strained tone. "And return him to his home empire."

The smile on Satoru's face vanished that instant.

"I can't do that."

You rose from your seat, facing him. "He is just a child."

Satoru regarded you with a stern look. “That child you speak about is a prince of the Eastern Empire. He has committed a great crime against you.”

“Naoya didn’t do it.” Your steely gaze was unflinching. “He might be senseless, but he isn’t insane enough to deliberately go into a war he might possibly lose.”

Satoru's eyes darkened at your words, as you stood before him with determination. The way you were so adamant somehow took him aback. “How... could you defend him? He has wronged you!”

It was one question you had expected, and you had the answer ready.

“Even if he has, I could never wish doom upon my own homeland, Satoru. I’ve lived most of my life there, I did a great deal of things there— even if you harbor some sort of misguided contempt or just bloodthirsty enough to lay ruin to Eastern Empire, I refuse to be the puppet for your schemes!”

There it was. You had said it. Everything would crumble once again just like your previous marriage.

Satoru was staring at you in slight disbelief, his eyes gleamed with something that you couldn't really pinpoint. Anger? Disappointment?

“Your life was in danger, as was our unborn child’s. Don’t you care about that—!” he actually had to stop to catch his breath. “Don’t you care that our child nearly didn't make it?”

“And? You must have thought it was the perfect grounds for declaring a war?” but you didn’t relent and questioned him with a scoff. “And afterwards, you would try to use me to gain defectors from Eastern Empire, is that it?”

You saw the flash of surprise in your now-husband's eyes right when you recited his words, but you weren't about to hold back any longer now.

“Now you’re using my safety to justify your actions,” you hissed, feeling like suddenly you understood what all of this was. “You’re quite cunning, Satoru. I’ve heard everything—you will do anything to bring an end to the Zen'in lineage! You won’t even consider the repercussions of my reputation being tarnished across the lands!”

“Is that even important now?” Satoru gritted his teeth to suppress his irritation. “You have been cursed. Do you honestly think I would let them get away with cursing my empress? How could I, who seek to protect you, be more vicious than whoever in Eastern Empire who cursed you with that necklace?”

“You’re doing this for your personal gratification!” you exclaimed. “It is never about me. You’re just a warmonger!”

The moment those words left your lips, Satoru stilled. His gaze on you faltered, and you could’ve sworn hurt flashed in his face.

“Just how low… is your opinion of me?” he asked, his tone dropping, eyes devoid of emotion. “You jump into conclusions only after overhearing something in a passing and yet you know for sure Naoya wouldn’t harm you—” he clenched his jaw.

“You… really loved him, didn’t you?” he asked with a sardonic smile. “I know it already. You won’t ever be able to do the same for me. You can’t even trust me.”

You were rendered speechless. Despite your doubts of him, hearing this still felt like a slap in your face.

Won’t be able to do the same for him? No. That’s not true. You are—

Satoru let out a defeated laugh and ran his hand through his hair, leaving you uncertain whether he was amused or heartbroken by your lack of response.

“It’s funny, how I have loved you for so long... but apparently the woman I believed to have even a semblance of affection for me doesn’t even exist.”

It felt like that one part of you that was capable of feeling love had been stabbed once again.

To say this out loud hurt you deeply, unbeknownst to him. You didn’t mean this at all, still it was what came out of you, out of spite—

“In the end, we’re just using each other. That’s all we amount to.”

Satoru bitterly snorted, finding your accusation so unfair to him.

“How cruel is it that I’m the only one who has to prove this love to you? What about you? You’re terribly, horribly selfish!”

You stayed silent, looking away, caught between the scorching knives that seemed to twist your heart and conflicting emotions in it, uncertain of what to believe anymore. And you didn't really know what heartbreak was like before—

“It has been really exhausting, and I don’t want to bother anymore.”

When his gaze next met yours, dark and piercing, you realized he was no longer the same man who once promised you love and devotion.

“You're free to believe whatever truth you wish. But remember, even if you are my wife and the empress of this nation, should you commit any transgressions… I won’t hesitate to accuse you of treason, Empress.”

You have committed treason.

Satoru had conducted investigation of the sorts just to prove his point. And yet days later, no direct evidence pointing towards Megumi or Hanabi were found in that cursed necklace.

Punishment for treason is imminent death. You were well-aware of that more than anyone, but your consciousness wouldn't allow it if Megumi had to be hanged due to Satoru's antagonism.

"Your Majesty, your kindness knows no bounds," Megumi said, dropping to one knee before you and lowering his head in the throne room. Satoru had chosen not to grace any of you with his presence, leaving you alone to bid farewell to both Megumi and Hanabi.

Since then, you hadn't spoken with him, nor had he visited your chambers. It was as if he considered you nonexistent at all.

And it is really only a matter of time before he finds out.

But at the very least, you were right. It was never Megumi. That boy was fond of you, he could never. So, you shifted your gaze on the woman next to him.

"Royal Consort Hanabi. A word."

It was the cue for everyone else to exit the throne room. Now, you were faced with this woman once again, and yet one thing remained the same— you were still towering over her.

"Why did you do it?" Your calm gaze betrayed a quiet anger that was unmistakably clear. All because of this woman. It was beyond you, how despite having left your past life behind, she had somehow managed to taint your new one as well.

Hanabi looked away, a hint of shame coloring her features. "Your Majesty knows, so why do you spare me?" she asked quietly.

"How preposterous of you to think that I have spared you," you scoffed. "All this time, have you learned nothing at all from standing by Naoya's side?"

She flinched, visibly making herself smaller at your unforgiving tone, still, she dared herself to meet your eyes.

"Can I ask... why you never consider it as Emperor Naoya's doing?" she seemed more confused more than anything, even as her lips wobbled. "The two of you... you don't really hate each other, so why...?"

You didn't want to dwell on why Naoya had chosen that specific piece of jewelry to return to you. If anything, you'd consider it his final parting gift and be done with it.

But the naivety of this woman was astounding. Someone like her wouldn't last long in your seat. You let out a sigh, torn between feeling sorry for her or not.

"You have much to learn about court affairs, Hanabi. And do not think this is an act of mercy. Sending you back to Naoya is a punishment in itself—you know that by now."

Hanabi trembled where she stood, her breaths were shallow, and her hands shook slightly as she struggled to maintain composure in your presence.

Realizing it was futile to continue the conversation, you decided to conclude it.

"Know that I will never forgive you for what you have done to me." Your sharp eyes squared on her, the cold ire in your tone making her shudder.

In all the years Hanabi had known you, you had never appeared more fearsome than you did now, adorned in silks of deep blue hues, with that crown of diamonds gleaming in your head.

Then, as if sealing her fate, you delivered these parting words:

"You've always coveted what I have, and sooner or later, that will be your downfall."

The palace felt suffocating for you. After sending Hanabi away, you took a walk in the gardens, followed closely by your ladies-in-waiting.

Good heavens, what have you done? You definitely didn't regret saving Megumi, but no matter how, you had committed a great crime against your own empire. A sentence would loom over your head!

And what about your baby? Would Satoru execute you while you still had his child inside you?

The very thought made your vision tilt, and you had to lean on the wall for support. Your ladies-in-waiting were immediately clamoring against each other.

"Leave," you commanded, trying to catch your breath while doing so. "I'll… take some time to rest here."

It took you a moment to realize you had reached the pagoda that Satoru had commissioned for you. This was your first time visiting it. The structure was magnificent, towering in height and adorned with exquisite decorations, leaving you in awe.

"It's a gift to the heavens for blessing me with you and our baby."

You wanted to cry. His voice, soft and smooth, conveyed those words so easily to you. He really loved you, didn't he? What made you so unsure about that undeniable fact?

And now you had broken his heart.

Your hand reached for your belly. Though hidden by your dress, you could distinctly feel that it had become firmer these days, holding the product of your love with Satoru.

"I'm sorry, baby..." you whispered, heartbroken. "I didn't mean to drag you into this too..."

You felt nauseous, your breaths come in short pants, and you felt a headache coming. It didn't really register to you that you had crashed into the candle table, before you collected yourself and ventured deeper inside.

You just wanted a sense of peace and quiet. You would think more later, and right now, the darkness inside felt like a comforting lull for you to rest.

. . .

Or at least that was what you had intended, until you looked back and saw the swirling inferno creeping through the halls.

It didn't take long for Satoru to figure out you had really orchestrated Megumi's release.

More than his wounded pride, it was the searing pain of realizing that you truly believed he was only using you for his own benefit. It felt like an insult to everything he had done for you.

Why couldn't you see that? Just how hard is it for you to understand?

And now that it had come to this... what did you expect from him? Should he really make good on his word and punish you? It tore his heart to even consider it.

However, what was worse was… did you think he was really capable of that too?

Amidst his heartache, suddenly he heard loud commotion from outside his study, yells and cries of help— and it roused him from his thoughts that he came out of his study, only to come right into a familiar face.

"Anyone! Anyone at all!" one of your maids was running, sobbing and hysterical. "Her Majesty! Please help Her Majesty!"

"What is all of this ruckus?" Satoru demanded, catching the maid by the hand, as she stuttered in tears.

And then, everything came crashing down with the next words.

"The Empress— is trapped inside the burning tower!"

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jaylver · 6 months

Text

WEBS OF HURT — S.JY

synopsis: Falling for your best friend wasn't on your check list for high school. As if that wasn't enough to break your heart, his odd behaviour only added fuel to the fire along with a new crush of his. Who knew that odd behaviour would soon turn into a secret truth that you'd discover after his valiant effort of hiding.

pairings: spiderman!jake x afab!reader

genre: best friends to lovers, unrequited love, miscommunications, spiderman au, angst, romance, fluff

warning(s): profanities, mentions of alcohol, party, violence, injury

wc: 10k

a/n: tried something new! a little birthday gift from me <3 please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

Falling in love with your guy best friend was probably the worst thing ever to experience when it came to girlhood.

High school should be fun, right? Being a teenager should be fun, right? Well, that wasn't exactly the case when you found yourself feeling more than just a mere liking towards Jake Sim, the guy best friend you mentioned and was entirely, love sickeningly, in love with.

Jake Sim was the first guy you actually built a solid friendship with. It first started when he sat beside you in calculus, then you realised you had more classes with him and a friendship eventually developed when you started acknowledging each other. One class together soon turned into years spent with one another. You knew his family and he knew yours. Nothing could ever break the bond between you and him.

You just couldn't help but notice a slight change in him after the death of his uncle, Ben. At first, you figured it might've been grief, trying your best to offer your utmost support. But as months flew by, the oddness persisted. He would disappear in between classes, sometimes standing you up at places you were at together and returning a little scathed, making it up to you by promising for a redo hang out. All of that was weird. Let's not get started on the fact he caught your stuff falling way too many times, even when his head was faced away, his hand would reach out first. In his words, he called it his 'spidey sense', whatever that meant.

However, you never doubted him. He was still the best friend you had, even if he had some tweaks to him. You never once questioned him or brought up your suspicions, but this time, you couldn't help yourself from bombarding him with questions when he broke the news to you.

"I think I have a crush," Jake announced the moment he was in your presence, sounding a little out of breath considering he made a run to the cafeteria. The tray of food was untouched, quite unlike him since he always dug into his food first.

"You 'think'?" You hummed, ignoring the mixed feelings you had blaring loudly.

"Okay, I know I have a crush," he has yet to start eating, just staring expectantly at you, eyebrows furrowed at the nonchalant and dismissiveness in your tone.

"You're being for real?" You finally turned your head to meet his eyes, placing your fork down.

"I am! I think it's kinda crazy," his eyes twinkled, something quite rare but only you knew, like a comet in the sky.

"Who is it?"

"Gwen,"

"Gwen? Gwen Stacy?" You swallowed back a frown that was itching to make its way to your lips, masking it with your best shot of shock instead of disappointment. Of course it was the golden girl, what a cliche plot.

He nodded, a small smile rested on his face as he started digging into his food. "We … talked? Talked about some science things, about Oscorp, about the things she's working on. Oh yeah, she said there's this party on Saturday and wondered if I wanted to go, I said I wanted to bring a friend and she's cool with it,"

"I assume I'm that friend, then?" You poked at your food, suddenly losing your appetite as the conversation progressed.

"No, it's Carlos—of course it's you, dumbass," he flicked at your forehead, earning a firm scowl from you. "You're my best friend, my only ever, I'd be insane to think otherwise,"

You chewed at your lips, not because you were contemplating whether you should or shouldn't go, but it was mainly due to the word 'best friend' that got your attention. There goes your hope down the drain. First, being told your best friend who you have a crush on already has his eyes on someone else, then, getting friendzoned by that same exact guy, all in one shot. It's brutal out here.

"So what do you say?" Jake's voice broke the momentary silence, noticing your dazed expression. You snapped out of it almost immediately.

"I'll go,"

"Really?"

"Do you want me to say no instead …?" You raised an eyebrow, watching him scrambling at your words.

"N–no! I'm just shocked and very glad you agreed to come," he managed a laugh, which turned into a smile.

"Am I going to get ditched that night because you want to get your dick wet?"

Jake scrunched his face up in a look of disgust. "Can you not? I don't need you to say that. And no, I'm not going to ditch you,"

"I'm holding you to it."

Jake shot you a wink, earning a figuratively loud eye roll from you. His laughter filled your ears, and though you managed a smile, you found yourself feeling the opposite internally. You knew you shouldn't feel this way, it's not like you were even in a relationship with him in the first place. But God, why did it hurt so bad?

Who told you friends to lovers was cool when it was unrequited and one sided all along.

"You know, you look good either way,"

Jake Sim was sitting on the edge of your bed watching you put on makeup and getting ready. It was a few hours before the party and Jake had turned up looking nervous, wearing that lucky graphic tee of his that you recognised quickly. Your teasing definitely didn't make him smile, and you soon realised that the crush he had was actually serious.

You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow despite feeling the giddiness from the effects of his nonchalant words. He has to stop that. "Are you trying to butter me up to get me to move quicker?"

"Whaaat? No way. You genuinely look good whether or not you have makeup on, seriously," he was genuine, you could tell, but you knew him better than anything. It was quite a fatal flaw.

"Give me ten minutes to finish the other eye then we can leave."

At that, Jake sighed in relief and fell back onto your bed, kicking his legs patiently. He couldn't stop talking about the party and the people who'd be there, but honestly, you could tell he was just trying to not bring up Gwen at any given moment. Knowing that, you wished the mascara wand would just poke into your eye, maybe it'd hurt less compared to how your heart felt.

"Does my shirt look lame—"

"Dude, shut up," just before you and Jake entered the house, he was asking for another reassurance. First, it was his hair, then his shoes, and every other piece of clothing, leaving his shirt for last. It took everything in you to not punch him along the way there. "I swear, no one will care. If anything, isn't that your lucky shirt?"

"It is my lucky shirt. But whether or not that lucky shirt looks good, that's the case," he glanced down at his graphic shirt, a picture of a rock band from the 2000s staring back at him.

"Trust me, if it's ugly, I would've asked you to change, now shut up and get your ass in there before I leave you here," you huffed and continued walking, hearing him mutter something before catching up with you.

Upon entering the house, you figured it was as underwhelming as you expected. The smell of sweat and flavoured smoke filled the air, high school students lingered around as the music blasted. You should've probably stayed home.

"So, you got your pick up lines ready?" You thrusted a cup of fruit punch into his hands, tilting your head in question.

Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid Google has failed me on that one," he looked around the room, shoulders tense.

"Calm down, big guy. You're acting like you're being hunted down. She's not that scary," you patted his shoulders as he took a swig out of his cup.

"Not scary? Says the one without a crush,"

How ironic.

You brushed it off, finding yourself taking a big gulp as well. He was oblivious and you were just stupid. Stupidly in love with your best friend who has his eyes set on another girl. Perfect.

"I think I see her," you followed his line of sight, spotting a blonde in the midst of the crowd almost immediately. She made her way through, parting the mass with a certain grace to her aura.

Jake looked back at you, a mix of conflict written in his features. You read him well, too well. You offered a smile. "Go, go talk to her. Just text me when you're leaving, okay? You said you're not going to ditch me,"

"I won't," he laughed, but there was a certainty in his tone.

"Then go, what are you waiting for? I'm expecting a whole loads of information by the end of the night," you gave him a slight push, but you could see the small reluctance he had. "Go!" Off he went into the crowds and gravitated towards her.

You couldn't bear to witness it all, watching him leaning down as she laughed into his ear. The feeling of bitter jealously coursed through your veins, it was evil, so evil, but you couldn't help it. At the end, you had to remind yourself, he wasn't yours in the first place. He wasn't yours to lose.

Turning your back to them, you sat alone in a stranger's kitchen and fought off the temptation of getting drunk. Instead, you indulged in the leftover pizzas left on the counter, letting a random girl join you and overshare secrets. Wallowing in self pity was probably not what you had in store for the night.

Almost as fast as you had arrived, it was already past midnight in a blink of an eye. You realised your curfew was around the corner and it was time to signal Jake to leave too. Glancing at your phone, you were surprised to see zero messages from your best friend. Weird.

You stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room, seeing a bunch of people passed out at the oddest spots, only a few still awake. One of them was surprisingly Gwen, the goody two shoes you had in mind was actually staying up past your curfew. You heaved a distressed yet exasperated sigh, walking towards her.

"Hey, Gwen," you hoped she remembered you, considering you were in the same Chemistry class as her.

"Oh, hey. Y/N, right?" She flashed you a sweet smile, and it was painful to know how likeable and nice she was. You couldn't even bring yourself to hate her.

"Right. Sorry for interrupting, but have you seen Jake around? The last time I saw him was with you," you unknowingly chewed on your bottom lip anxiously, taking the frown on her lips as a bad sign.

"He left," that was the least expected thing you anticipated as a response.

"He … left?" You repeated incredulously, almost as if she hadn't made it clear enough for you.

"Yeah, he suddenly said he needed to leave … in the middle of our conversation. An emergency or something. Kinda weird but kinda cute," she laughed, but you were holding back a disdainful scowl, reserved for both Jake and her, but most specifically Jake Sim. "Why? Were you with him?"

You bit back an immediate reply. As much as you wanted to say 'yes', you didn't want to blow off his chance either. "No, just … checking. He said he was coming tonight,"

"Oh, I see,"

"Yeah," you nodded rather stiffly and awkwardly. "I'll get going now, thanks,"

"See ya, Y/N. Until our next class," she gave you a salute, a melodious laugh escaping her lips.

You couldn't resist a smile either, saluting her back. There was a charm to her that affected people, it was understandable that Jake was charmed, but you hated to know that, and you did not want to understand it. For now, he was dead to you, just like how he has left you to yourself in the middle of a party at midnight. Was he Cinderella? Glad to know you weren't the only one who he pulled the disappearing act on.

Clutching onto your jacket tight, you cursed every cuss words there were under your breath, all of which were dedicated to Jake. He had the audacity to leave without even leaving you a text, and that got you walking home in the dangerous night of New York City. Thanks a fucking lot. To say you were seething was an understatement.

You hated the streets of New York especially at night. To prove your hatred further, you just had to be at threat of an armed robbery there and then.

"Hey! You there!" A dark figure approached from a distance, pointing at you. Oh God. "Got some money on you?" This couldn't be happening.

"N–no," you said quietly, backing up quickly. His footsteps thundered loudly against the pavement, seemingly getting closer.

"Don't lie, I see that purse on you,"

"I'm a broke high school student, leave me alone!" Was it sad to say that you were yelling the brutal truth to him?

"I don't care. Give me your purse—" his threat almost had you running in the opposite direction, but his sentence was never finished. Instead, a sharp unfamiliar noise shot through the silence, and a second figure in the distance appeared. That wasn't his partner, right?

Panic coursed through you, and yelling out was most likely the worst idea you had in ages. "Hello?"

Silence.

"Hello? Can I leave now?"

"Yeah, you can," the figure walked under the lamp post, revealing himself.

Spiderman?

Clad in red and a mask over his head, he stepped towards you ever so casually, whereas you stood there absolutely stunned to even move. It wasn't an everyday occurance where you could personally meet the hero in flesh. The media might've painted him as some criminal, but to you and many other citizens, you knew that wasn't the truth.

"Spiderman," you greeted, anxiety lowered knowing you weren't getting robbed now. "Thanks for—that," you waved in the direction of where the man originally was.

"No worries," you noticed his voice seemed familiar, but before you could think more about it, he spoke with a sudden deeper octave. "It's—uh—not safe out here. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well, for starters, my friend left me at a party that we were supposed to leave together without telling me, and now I'm walking home alone, until I almost got robbed," it was clear that anger and bitterness laced your voice, a deep frown etched on your face as you told Spiderman your concerns.

"Sorry," his voice became lighter, somehow sincere, which made you tilt your head in question. "I–I mean, sorry that he did that to you," he cleared his throat, straightening his spine and returning back to that deep voice.

"I don't know what's up with him. He could've left me a text,"

He muttered something inaudible under his breath, then turned his focus back on you. "I'm sure he's very sorry, and maybe he's got a reason too. Try hearing him out,"

"I will. I always do. I'm just hurt, it's complicated,"

"What? What do you mean complicated?"

You shrugged, hugging your purse close to your chest. "It's nothing. I don't think Spiderman will be interested in my matters with my best friend. I'll leave you to your hero stuff and head home now. Thanks for saving me and the 20 dollars in my wallet,"

"Well—I—wait," before you could fully turn around and leave, his hand landed on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. "Let me walk you home. It's not safe,"

"Wouldn't it be weird if I turned up at my apartment lobby with Spiderman?" You crossed your arm, making quite a fair point.

"You're right. What about I give you a swing?"

"What?"

Swinging around New York City was definitely an unforgettable but scary experience. You clung onto Spiderman, screaming like a madwoman as he had his arm wrapped around your waist. The touch was as familiar as his voice, hard to put a finger on but almost feeling like you've known him for years.

You were about to point out your apartment but he had already beat you to it, not even needing you to tell you which floor or window it was, landing on the fire escape right in front of your bedroom window. That just further proved your familiarity towards him.

He pulled your window open, signalling you to head in, but you were stuck staring at him, both in shock from the swing and the way he knew your place.

"How did you—"

"Bye! Goodnight!"

You watched as he avoided your question and shot a web out to swing to some other building, leaving you stunned. How were you going to recover from this?

10/10 experience. Spiderman might just be your casual crush to get away from the thoughts of Jake.

'BREAKING NEWS: bank robbery in downtown last night caused a chaotic and frantic disturbance, luckily, Spiderman was there to save the day and catch the robbers before anything major happened. Is he really as bad as they make him to be?'

The news of Spiderman saving a bank from a robbery right before your personal near robbery experience had you amused. The videos of him beating up the robbers and using his webs to tie them up were going viral all over the internet, even people in school were talking about it.

You were standing at your locker, digging for some textbooks before class started when Jake Sim himself appeared beside you. His presence was announced before he even spoke, but you didn't bother to spare him a glance.

"Y/N, I'm so so sorry about last night," he was heaving in breaths, as if he had ran across the school to find you, maybe he did.

"Oh, were you?" You clicked your tongue, suddenly finding the random piece of paper in your locker fascinating.

"I am. Seriously, Y/N. I know I'm an asshole for that, I'm sorry for not texting you earlier and letting you know—"

"Jake, this isn't the first time you bailed on me," you cut him off, slamming your locker door close and turning to face him. The bruise beside his right eye caught your attention, and suddenly, your anger seemed to have sizzled away. "What the hell happened to your eye?"

It has become a common practice by now apparently. Jake disappearing and turning up with some kind of injury. Like always, he just brushed you off. "It's nothing, don't worry. It's not about me, it's about you. I fucked up this time and I know it, I'm sorry. An emergency with Aunt May came up a–and I had to go home early, I was too caught up in the moment to let you know. I'm sorry, really,"

You considered his apology for a moment. He was sincere, you knew that, but there was a certain dishonesty to his explanation. However, you didn't want to press on further either. "I understand. You probably always have a reason, it's just that I hate it when you disappear on me without telling me. I almost got robbed last night!"

It took him almost a few seconds to register, then another few more to compute a reaction. "What? Are you okay?"

"I'm standing here, aren't I? Spiderman saved my ass,"

"Spiderman?"

"Yeah, Spiderman. That guy who swings around New York. He saved me from some guy that was about rob me, because someone over here decided to leave early,"

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm just glad you're alright,"

"Well, thank fuck I am," you crossed your arms, staring pointedly at Jake.

He dug something out of his backpack, a paper bag of some sort materialized in his hand. "I got you some of your favourite cookies and donuts. As a form of apology,"

You took the bag from him, glancing between him and it. "You can't just buy your way into an apology,"

"You accepted it, you took the bag,"

You rolled your eyes, unable to bite back. "Whatever," you reached in for a cookie and started walking away from your locker, hearing Jake scurrying to join your side.

"So, we're cool?"

You took a brief glance at him, taking a bite out of your cookie. "We are,"

Jake wasn't fully convinced, however. He knew you and your patterns, and he definitely knew which tricks to pull to make it better. "How about I treat you to some Chinese food tonight?"

That piqued your interest, an eyebrow raised at his question. "The one downtown?"

"That one,"

"You sure know how to get on my good side, Sim," you nudged his side, falling into one of his tricks once again. "Too well,"

"I know my ways to get to your heart, don't underestimate me," he said in a lighthearted tone, but God, you wished he would actually find his way into your heart. "Anyway, how was—uh—Spiderman, last night? Excusing your near robbery experience," he winced at the last part, though in reality, the accident hadn't shaken you as much as he had thought.

"He was nice! A little awkward but I kinda get it. He swung me back to my place, which was weird because he knew which window and level it was," you pursed your lips in deep thought, failed to realise the widened eyes from Jake and the panic that filled them.

"M–maybe, it was a wild guess," he said shakily.

"Wild guess? Don't bullshit me, Sim. A smart guy like you would know it's hard to do so," you waved him off, continuing to venture into your theories.

"Maybe he has some kind of sixth sense," he laughed rather stiffly, earning a suspicious narrowed stare from you.

"Okay, big head, quit acting so weird. Let's just get calculus over with and then stop by that ice cream place after school, what do you say?"

Jake's shoulders visibly relaxed, a sense of relief overtook his features. What was that about? "Sure. My treat,"

"God, Sim, you have to stop treating me or else I'll fall in love with you," you joked, even as it came out lighthearted, it was filled with a painful truth that you kept as a secret.

"Then fall in love with me."

You froze, almost unblinking. Something so intimate yet controversial had left his lips like it was nothing. It was probably nothing to him, maybe a mere joke even, considering how he let out a small laugh and smiled at your reaction. You tried to pretend it was nothing, but it wasn't nothing, not to you.

For a second, you wished you weren't already in love with Jake.

Trying to be happy for your best friend shouldn't be hard, but why were you struggling with it so much?

First, you were literally in love with him. Yes, you've come to the conclusion that you 'L' word him, the big 'L'. Seeing him list out the things Gwen likes and hates reminded you of yourself knowing him equally that much too, which only pained you more than it reassured you. Second, he has been hanging out with her more. Not that you were completely friendless and have no one to hang with, but Jake was Jake, he was your best friend, and losing your best friend was the worst thing to happen.

You didn't lose him, no, but it felt like you had. He barely made time for you, being caught up with Gwen, dates and school work, how could he not manage to squeeze you in there? You've always made time for him no matter what the occasion was, so knowing he didn't do the same for you just had you dying internally.

It was a quiet evening in New York. The sun had just set and you were walking home from grabbing an early dinner alone. This time around, you were smarter than the previous round. Armed with pepper spray and a pocket knife, you prayed on a shooting star that an unfortunate incident would never ever happen once more.

You were practically in your own world to even realise or hear footsteps approaching you from behind. By the time you did, your fight or flight mode was activated, almost throwing out a punch, just to freeze upon figuring out who it actually was. Spiderman.

"Walking home alone?" He kept up with your pace as you recovered from a momentary fright.

"Stalking me?" You wondered how he even spotted you in the first place. In the big city of New York, he's coincidentally strolling down the same street as you? As if. "Scared me, you know? Thought it was another round of getting robbed,"

"I'd be there to fight them off if that happens," he said with utmost confidence that it had you laughing a little, shaking your head in disbelief. Why did he remind you of Jake? It's a sign you should stop thinking so much about him.

"Really? I kinda doubt it. Unless you're keeping an eye on me or something, stalker," you teased him, egging him on further.

"I'm not stalking you," his tone gave away the withering confidence of his. You smiled, feeling his lingering gaze on your face. Maybe it was just your mind that's overthinking, but his mannerisms reminded you too much of your best friend. It was in the way he walked, talked and how he normally did this thing where he walked with you and cast glances at you from time to time. Every little detail that you wished you couldn't list out was a part of the city's hero.

He cleared his throat, straightening his back, trying to rebuild that confidence he originally carried. "So … how are things between you and your friend?"

"The one that stood me up at the party?"

He choked a little, but regardless, he nodded his head. "Y–yeah,"

You couldn't hold in a sigh from escaping your lips. Just thinking about Jake had you huffing in frustration. Spiderman picked up on it, shifting slightly beside you. "I guess not … good? Haven't seen him much and he hasn't been bothering to hang out with me anymore. I mean, I get he's making moves but why can't he just manage a little time for me? Maybe I'm too selfish but—" he's not mine anyway. You bite your tongue, holding back what you really wanted to say.

The hero beside you was silent for a bit, as if walking on eggshells and picking the best words to say. "I think he'd come around," he said slowly, "he'd say a couple of sorrys, and you should tell him what's on your mind. Let him know. He'll understand,"

You chewed on your bottom lips, considering the possibilities, but totally also not expecting to get advice from the Spiderman like it was some counselling session. "I know he'll listen. He always does. But I don't want anything to change between us,"

"Nothing will change," he said with a kind of certainty that even you didn't doubt. How did he know? Who was he to judge? You didn't say anything, but just nodded. You knew Jake wasn't the type to argue nor take your words lightly, but you shudder at the thought of a confrontation, not that it was your first with him, but it felt much more emotional this time.

"I hope so. I miss him—oh, my place is around the corner, I can manage myself," you stopped before a turn around the corner, Spiderman following suit.

Standing before him only increased your curiosity about his identity. Who was he? He was hiding under a mask that shielded his face, but something about him seemed less foreign than expected.

"O–oh, then I guess I should get away too. Swing around the city and see whose ass to beat," he laughed awkwardly, a hand automatically reaching for the back of his neck, just like something Jake would do too. You shook that thought away. "Goodnight … stranger,"

"It's Y/N," you didn't hesitate to tell him your name, he saved your life, a little information about yourself wouldn't hurt despite him being a total stranger still. "Goodnight, spider boy."

You turned around the corner, leaving the hero standing there, bewildered and helpless. It was hard to ignore the pit in your stomach that carved deeper and deeper. He reminded you too much of your best friend, and strangely, that was probably the reason why you felt gradually attached to him, a stranger that resembled the ghost of a guy you liked but couldn't have.

The space of your apartment was dark and soulless once you stepped into it. Your parents worked late as always, meaning you were alone most of the time, and this was one of them. Maybe it was the atmosphere and the countless wishful thinking, but a sense of despair knocked on the door of your heart.

By the end of the night, you laid awake in bed thinking about what Spiderman had said. Nothing will change. That was exactly what you wished for too, that your dynamic with Jake was never to change, but how was that to happen when he's got a girl around? Eventually, you're not just going to lose the guy you loved, but your best friend as a whole.

Your train wreck of thoughts were interrupted the moment you heard a knock on your window. That knock turned into a tune that you knew too well. Sitting up straight in bed, you spotted the figure standing by your window out on the fire escape. Jake.

At this point, you weren't even going to figure out how he got up this high on the fire escape. It was one too many times of him avoiding your question and you ended up dropping the matter too. Yet, curiosity itched your mind.

Unamused at the fact that he turned up at possibly the wrong timing, you dragged your legs over to the window, meeting his bashful gaze. He offered a crooked grin, but your narrowed eyes only shot it back into a frown.

"Explain to me why you're here? It's midnight, Aunt May would be worried about you," your window was opened now, but you stood in the way before he could climb through, an interrogative look of yours stared at him accusingly.

"I told her I'd be over at yours," he answered cheekily. "Just like the old times, eh?"

Judging from your unbudging stance and eyes practically shooting lazers, Jake knew he had struck a nerve that have been left untreated for far too long. He sighed a defeated breath, squeezing through forcefully and dropping his backpack onto the ground.

"I know," he didn't need to say much, yet he conveyed more than needed. "I've been a shitty best friend,"

It was your turn to sigh. You shook your head, averted your gaze to the ground and stepped aside, giving him more space. "You know a 'sorry' alone won't cut it this time,"

He followed your every movement, joining you to sit on the edge of your bed, a small space in between separated you and him. "I know. But I really am sorry, Y/N. I mean it,"

"I just want you to be honest with me, Jake. I know you're busy, I know you're trying to get the girl of your dreams or whatever, good for you, but it feels like you've forgotten about me or something,"

"I didn't forget about you. How could I ever?"

"Well, then stop acting like it! A text would suffice," you stood up, back facing him just so you could hide your face from him and the tears welling up in your eyes.

"Y/N," he grabbed a hold of your wrist, cold fingers wrapped around your skin, his touch ever so gentle. "I'm sorry. I know I fucked up … many times, and a single 'sorry' wouldn't make up all the hurt I caused you, b–but there's a reason why,"

"What is it then?" You whirled around to face him, the dark of the room casted a shadow over his face, bringing out the fatigue and injury on his delicate features. "What the fuck, Jake? Are you hurt again?"

"It's nothing,"

"You said it's nothing every time you turned up hurt, and I never ask many questions, but Jake, it feels like you're hiding something from me," your hand reached up for his face, hovering over the bruises and mild cuts on his lips and skin. "I don't know you anymore,"

Jake moved his face away a little, grabbing that hand of yours which hovered over his face, lacing his fingers into yours, the rough surface of skin contrasting your soft touch. "I–I wish I could tell you what it is right now, Y/N, I really do, but it's not the right time. I need you to trust me, I need you to believe me, I don't want to hurt you,"

There was a moment of silence where you stood before him, hands intertwined with his, your hurtful gaze scanning his every feature that you knew too well. Jake never lied to you, you knew that, but why couldn't you fully trust him this time? There was a sense of truth and lie hidden behind his words, but you knew one thing, he was genuine. Yet, it wasn't enough.

"Let me make it up to you. There's this carnival in the city tomorrow night, you and I, hang out, what do you say?" He tried offering a smile, which eventually turned uncertain. "We can spend the entire day together. Just you and me,"

"No bailing on me this time?"

"Promise,"

"You do?"

He held up your interlocked hands, then intertwined your's and his pinky fingers together, something you and him always did when it came to serious promises despite the childishness to the whole pinky promises thing. "Promise," he repeated.

"I believe you, Jake. I always do, and I just don't want you to get yourself in danger, whatever it is that you're doing. Whenever you turn up bruised and beaten, I–I just feel helpless, and you push me away every time,"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking your interlocked hands and placing them on his chest, near to where his heart resided. "I promise to tell you the truth soon. I just need to be ready,"

"When you're ready," you gave his hand an affirming squeeze, a reassuring smile creeping up onto your lips. "Do you want to stay over?"

"I didn't turn up with a packed bag for nothing," he laughed, the air lightening up much more compared to earlier. "I'll sleep on the ground like always,"

Once you were done manoeuvring and setting up the sleeping bag for Jake, you were finally in bed for the second time that night, except now, you had Jake sleeping on the ground beside your bed. It wasn't a rare occasion having him sleep over, just maybe this time it was a tad bit more awkward given the situation you had earlier.

"Jake," you spoke into the darkness, your eyes trained on that one spot on your ceiling.

He hummed back in response.

"Nothing has changed between us, right?"

A beat of silence, the whirring of your A/C was what remained. Then, he spoke. "No. Nothing's ever going to change. Nothing will change,"

It sounded familiar, the way he said it and the enunciation he had in every word. You shook it off, given the late night and a mushy brain, you didn't give it a second thought.

"I'm glad. Goodnight, Jake."

"Goodnight."

Despite the reassurance from Jake, you descended into sleep with a pit in your gut. You could barely sleep with him next to you, thinking you could find a cure to every trouble that existed between you and him to fix it all. How could he say there'd be no changes when there's a bigger crack forming on your heart?

The next morning was like any other whenever Jake stayed over. An empty kitchen that allowed you to make some simple breakfast and after, you bid Jake goodbye for the moment before meeting him later on that day.

Upon stepping into your room, you spotted a black lump sitting under the window. It was Jake's backpack. He was already long gone from your apartment by then.

You advanced towards his backpack, held it up to move it somewhere else, but it only caused the contents inside to spill out. Knowing how clumsy Jake always was, you figured his backpack had been unzipped the entire time.

You glanced at the pile of mess littered on your floor, a clump of red catching your eyes amongst the rest. Curiosity got the best of you despite knowing you shouldn't pry, but the moment your fingers made contact with it, the question marks in your head increased by tenfold.

Spandex material. You pinched it at first, feeling the material against your skin, then you finally got the guts to hold it up entirely, revealing something far beyond expectations.

Spiderman suit?

Was it a fake one? Jake could've always bought it from Amazon. You held it closer for inspection, noticing how it was worn out, slight tears on the bottoms. It couldn't be a fake, something in you knew. The dried blood stains on some spots gave it away.

Everything made sense to you now. Jake being secretive, hiding the truth from you every time you asked, turning up hurt and disappearing at random times just for the news to report Spiderman's appearance after. All of them were finally connected in your head, and revelations about his suspiciousness were known by you.

It hit you. Jake was spiderman. Your best friend was that vigilante swinging around the city saving people and fighting crimes. He was the one who walked and swung you home. He always knew.

You let out a breath of disbelief, knees feeling weak and head spinning. How were you to shoulder the truth after this? Pretend like nothing's wrong when everything is wrong and weird. It was practically impossible to patch up the existing crack that continued to worsen.

Shoving Jake's belongings back into the bag, you shouldered it and made your way to his place. Your mind was in a haze, the thought of him being Spiderman was hard to wrap around. Sometimes ignorance was genuinely bliss, you wished this was one of those times.

You didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that Jake wasn't home when you turned up at his door, meeting a confused looking Aunt May instead. Apparently, Jake went out in search of his backpack that was currently in your hands, so you had no choice but to call him and wait for him to be back.

How could you not have spotted it sooner? Now that you're in his bedroom for possibly the millionth time, everything seems clearer. The map of the city stuck on his wall which had random scribbles and locations circled in red marker ink stood out to you, the box of medicine and ointments sat on his bedside table that you frequently ignored. All the signs were presented before your eyes without your knowledge.

"Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting," Jake closed his bedroom door after almost half an hour of waiting for his appearance. His hair was dishevelled, clearly panicked and alarmed.

"No, it's okay, we're supposed to meet up anyway," you sat up from lying on his bed, nodding at the backpack sitting on his desk. "Got your baby back,"

"Oh my God," he crossed the room with big steps and had zero hesitation when it came to unzipping it to check his belongings. "Did I leave it at your place?"

"You did,"

"Thought I left it out there somewhere," he murmured under his breath, then zipped the bag up. You knew why he was so secretive, and it made even more sense why he always brought it around.

Jake most likely felt your wandering eyes on him judging from the way he spun around and shielded his bag from view, trying to divert your attention away. "Want to watch a movie?"

How could you possibly say no? That sly prick.

You didn't indulge in his suspicious behaviour further now that you were aware of his secret, though you pretended not to. He did say he would reveal it to you soon, but that 'soon' was quite unknown. At this point, you didn't know who was going to be the first one to reveal it. Either you or him.

You spent half of the day binging on movies, ate an early dinner and then walked to the carnival together. Along the way there, you couldn't stop yourself from taking quick glances at Jake. The street lights illuminated his features under the darkening sky, the loud chatter of the crowd drowned out and it was only him in your world. Even as he asked you questions, you blindly nodded to most of them.

How could you not fall for him? He bought you drinks without question, won you prizes at those booths, held your hand as you walked through the crowds. It was as if Jake Sim himself was blind enough to not know what he was doing to you.

"Enjoying the night?" Jake threw his arm around your shoulder ever so casually that it had you holding your breath for a minute.

"You won me a big bear, of course I am," you held onto the stuffed toy tightly, grinning at the memory of Jake winning during his first try.

"What's next? Wanna stop by that art and craft booth then we go on the ferris wheel?" Jake definitely did know his way into your heart.

"Sounds good,"

You thought the night would eventually end with peace and quiet, but before it could even end, it had been ruined beyond belief.

The big screen suddenly flashed to a news reporter, the background looking chaotic and people were fleeing. It was live news, the whole thing was happening as you breathed. You and Jake stood rooted, staring at the big screen just like many others did, listening in on the broadcast.

'Just in, a monstrous creature was seen terrorizing and climbing along the Oscorp building. It was spotted not long ago, but now it has disappeared into the building, its whereabouts unknown. Workers of Oscorp have fled the building, but not all of them, some were said to be present in the building until now.'

You glanced at Jake, a sinking feeling in your gut. It was a sour thought knowing he's about to get himself in danger yet again, but having him bailing once more cut deeper than a falling knife. As a human, you wanted him to save lives and the city. However, you were also his best friend, and you hated to be selfish, but you just wanted him to be there without having to leave every single moment.

The conflict in your eyes matched Jake's, who was evidently struggling with himself. You tried to mask it, yet hurt and sadness was hard to ignore or hide.

"Oscorp … Gwen," the faint hush of a murmur was audible under his breath, causing you to cock your head at him.

"What?"

"I–I, Y/N, I have an emergency," he removed his arm around you, the hold on his backpack strap tightened.

"Jake," to scream at him? Let him leave? All of the above? You struggled with your emotions as you tried to understand and empathise, you always did, but couldn't you just have him this one time?

"I'm sorry …" his voice was weak, he knew how much pain and hurt he caused you, and retreating away from your disappointed face wasn't going to solve anything, just the problem downtown, but not the cracks that were forming right now.

"I know, Jake," you shouted when he was a distance away from you. He turned around, eyes widened and pupils blown, a mix of confusion and surprise painted his features. "I know about you,"

He was breathless, he didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. He left without a trace, and once again, you were left alone to fend for yourself. You wanted to understand, you do, but it was hard.

You glanced at the big screen for one last time, uttering a silent curse under your breath, and decided to head to where the scene was. Crazy? Stupid? You were everything described. That was probably why you and Jake were best friends.

Taking the cab was one of the stupidest decisions you made, and that excluded the part where you're literally bringing yourself to danger. Thanks to whatever that was terrorising the Oscorp building, the traffic was heavier than usual, so you had no choice but to run on foot. It was the most running you ever did all year.

You wondered if it was a good idea to even be there. Answer: no. The police cars were everywhere, all of which were stationed with police that were armed with rifles. A helicopter circled the building, several broadcasting stations and their reporters were present too. It was a mess.

"What's happening here?" You were practically out of breath, panting, as you asked a random bystander there.

"Some freakish lizard creature. I think Spiderman swung into the building to save the remaining victims. They were all rescued but Spiderman's still fighting in there,"

"You saw him? Spiderman?"

"I did! Red suit, white webs, he was so heroic when he crashed through the glass panels,"

"That's the one," you said unnervingly, disliking the uncertainty of it all. Jake was putting himself in danger and you could do nothing about it. How long did this go on for? You were left in the dark for far too long.

Soon, which almost felt like forever, you saw a speck of red escaping from the gap in the building with somebody in hand. You held your breath out of anxiety, heart thumping, listening in on all the noises and reports coming from everywhere around you.

"There he is! Spiderman!" A reporter appeared next to you, absolutely transfixed with the superhero slinging through the dark sky and eventually landing in the distance. "He has the last hostage in hand! A girl!"

A girl?

You pushed past the crowd, trying to get a closer look at Spiderman and the entire scene before you. There he was, speaking to the police, but there was somebody else too. Gwen Stacy.

An overwhelming feeling crashed down on you like a heavy weight of boulders falling from the sky. Confusion, hurt, heartbreak, altogether they penetrated you harder than you could manage to breathe. One step, two step, you took many steps back before turning away and hailing for a cab home.

He wasn't yours, and he wasn't yours to lose either.

Returning home to an empty apartment was nothing new, except it did hit differently this time. Your heart was empty, mind in a haze, it was as if your narrator had drawn swirls over your head. You wished things had turned out in another way. You and Jake, how you found out about his secret, him hiding his secret. If only all of them had another ending than what you had in the present.

You sat slumped over in bed, the desk lamp was the only thing that provided light for the darkness in your room. The shadow looming over your window went unnoticed by you. That was until a series of knocks sounded and you jumped out of bed in alert, finding it strange how there was nothing once your eyes trained on your window.

Well, there goes your future.

You stepped a little closer. Just then, the window was jerked open by some unseen force, a red cladded face peeking his head into frame. Spiderman, or more accurately, Jake, was standing on your fire escape again.

He dropped his backpack onto your bedroom floor, letting himself in wordlessly. You stared at him, not knowing whether to speak first or let him be the one to do it. After all, he had left you hanging, it's the least he could do.

Jake pulled off the mask from his head, revealing a rather beat up face and messy, dishevelled hair that was coated with sweat. "You knew?"

His voice was tired, but the confusion and hurt punctuated through his words. He inched close to you, but you took a step back, unable to meet his gaze.

"Well, it wasn't a long time," you muttered. "Just today, actually … coincidentally,"

"How?"

"Your backpack. I swear I didn't look through it, it was unzipped and when I picked it up, everything spilled out. Your suit revealed it all," you chewed at your bottom lip, Jake's eyes boring into yours, the prickling feeling of anxiety crawled all over your skin. "I didn't want to find out this way either,"

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. I wanted to, trust me, you're one of the closest people I have in my life. But I just didn't know when or how to break it to you. I wanted to protect you, to keep you safe," he was equally guilty for hiding it for a long time, but you understood the reason behind it. Being a hero comes with a great responsibility, that was what movies taught you anyway.

"Jake, I know, and it's okay, but I just wish to be selfish for a little. I want you to be here with me, to be there for me a–and be my best friend for a minute," you felt yourself losing the will to speak as seconds passed by. "I feel like I'm losing you,"

"You're not. I'm here," he pressed his palm against his heart, stepping closer until he was barely a few inches away. "Always,"

"I don't want to lose you, Jake," your voice wavered, a clear sheen of tears glazed your eyes. "I'm in love with you," your words came out in a whisper, a hushed confession that spilled with no warning, coming from the deepest, darkest pits of your heart. Even then, you couldn't believe you had actually said it, stilling in place and blinking in shock.

Jake's breath hitched, his movements frozen. You wondered about the possible scenarios you were about to face, ones that you thought of whenever you had the urge to spill your love confession. All of them certainly didn't prepare you for what was happening next.

"I'm sorry," shock turned into instant panic. Your hands shot out to create a small distance between you and him. "Ignore what I just said. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable—"

Jake didn't say much, and in a swift motion, he grabbed a hold of your hand, pulled you into him. One hand holding your wrist, the other cupping your face to tilt your head and his lips met yours.

You could barely register it. The weight of his mouth against yours created a mass of fireworks in both your head and stomach. The shock evaporated from your body and relief took its spot. You melted against his touch, leaning your body closer to his.

Jake kissed you like no man could have ever done. He left a part of himself, imprinted his every unspoken word into a deep and passionate kiss. You wondered if this was what it felt like being loved by him.

Forever was what you wished for when it came to kissing him. Yet, it eventually came to an end just like every one of your favourite movies. This time, however, you weren't disappointed, you were glad.

"Don't apologise. Y/N, I'm in love with you too," his hand on your cheek remained, the dim light managed to bring out the sparks in his pupils. It was your turn to be confused. Didn't he have a crush? "I know what you're thinking. Gwen—" it's freaky how he always knew, "—I was kinda dumb, to be honest. I was always in love with you but it took me years and a girl to only realise that,

"She was nothing like you. The more I got to know her, the more I thought of you. I wasn't trying to like her, I was trying to find a piece of you in her. Being the coward that I am, I ran away from facing the thought of liking you, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So, I kept on entertaining the thoughts of liking Gwen instead, but none of it was real. You're the one who's constantly taking up space in my mind, in my heart,"

The fireworks from earlier exploded ten folds in your mind. You couldn't believe you were experiencing every passing moment listening to Jake's confession. He felt the same way as you did for him. He has had the same pining for you like the same way you had for him. Years, years of unspoken romantic love for one another that both were too scared to touch upon.

Jake took your shell shocked silence as an opportunity to continue on. "I'm sorry for standing you up all the time. I'm sorry for hiding the truth from you. I'm sorry for avoiding you. I'm sorry for not realising it sooner. But I love you, Y/N. You're my best friend, more than anything, you're the only person I want to have occupying my mind all the Goddamn time,"

"Jake," your hand travelled to place itself onto his which rested on your face. "I love you too," you laced your hand into his, the intimacy that would've been seen platonic days ago was now something more than that. You and him both felt the shift, it was apparent.

"I don't care that you're Spiderman," you continued, not once breaking eye contact with him, letting him stare into yours as you did the same. "You're Jake to me, you forever will be, and that's all that matters,"

Jake's delicate features melted into a smile. His pretty smile that had you swooning was on display like a trophy, influencing you enough to crack a small grin too. He looped an arm around your waist, dipping you slightly and pressing a haste kiss on your lips, then your cheeks.

"I guess I can now say I've swung into your heart," he teasingly sent a wink flying at you, to which you responded with an eye roll. Some things never changed, but his ego definitely was inflated now.

"Shut up before I kick you out," you threw a light punch at his shoulder, which he dodged almost unsuccessfully. "Come on, let's patch you up then we can go to bed," you patted his shoulder, walking towards your bathroom.

"Demanding," he whistled under his breath, picking up his discarded mask from the floor.

"Don't make me add a black eye to your face,"

"But you like my pretty face,"

"You want to test it out?"

"Okay, okay. I'm coming."

The night eventually ended with Jake being patched up and sleeping on your bed instead of his usual spot on the ground. These little changes was what you anticipated most, but other than that, it was safe to say nothing would be changing when it came to your and Jake's relationship. If anything, it was about to be stronger.

So what if he was Spiderman? At least you knew Spiderman was yours, and he had indeed swung into your heart.

Dating your best friend who had a secret identity was fun.

You got to discuss maths in school and listen to his adventures after. Not to mention, he would swing you around New York City at times once the clock striked past midnight. No other girl was going to get a date like this. Ten out of ten, you may add.

With the fun came the terror. You do fear for Jake's safety almost every time he's out, and it has become a routine to patch him up till the point where you had to restock your emergency kit. This time was like no other when Jake appeared through the window soundlessly in his Spiderman suit.

"Hey," he was breathless, tumbling over the window still.

You jumped, not even realising his appearance. "What the hell? Jake? Oh my God," you got up right away to support his tired body, but he ended up sliding down onto the ground anyway.

"Are you injured anywhere? Bleeding?" You checked for his body, trying to spot any obvious cuts, making yourself comfortable in the space between his legs.

"No," his hand reached for the end of his mask, pulling it up halfway only to reveal his lips. "Can I get a kiss?"

"Are you serious?"

"I am dead serious,"

You rolled your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss on his lips that eventually widened into a satisfied smile. You gently slapped his face, eliciting a sweet laugh from him and with a tug of his hand, he fully removed the mask from his head, revealing his pretty face that you missed.

"I got something for you," his hand reached out to brush your hair away from your face, his touch ever so gentle when it came to you. He dug something out of his bag, pulling out a fresh bouquet of flowers. "Ta-da,"

"Flowers?" You accepted the bouquet from him, noticing all of your favourite flowers in it. He remembered, even the littlest details about you, he remembered them all.

"I got them on the way here," you raised an eyebrow at him. He threw his hands up in defence. "Hey, I didn't steal them. I actually paid for them. They gave me a discount too because I was in my suit,"

You resisted a smile. "You're unbelievable,"

"Unbelievably cute? Romantic? Handsome?" He leaned in closer to you, noses close enough to brush against one another.

"Go away," you squeezed his cheek, and he just let you do so without any fight. You threw your arms around his neck, hugging him briefly. "I like them,"

"What about me?"

"I like you too,"

"But I like you more,"

You threw your head back laughing, a simple sound which was enough to have Jake's heart racing. "We're not making this into a competition, stupid. Now, go shower or else you're not sleeping on my bed,"

"But—"

"Nope. Shower or get exiled,"

"Fine," he dragged his body up sluggishly, looking almost like a puppy being forced to his dismay: the shower. "You're not joining me?"

"Don't make me chase you out." you threw a pillow at him that he skillfully dodged. Damn his spider senses. His laughter echoed around your bedroom until he disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of it gave comfort to you and your beating heart.

Things might've changed a little in different aspects, but you knew nothing could change you or Jake altogether. He was your best friend and lover no matter what he was. Spiderman or loverboy, he was everything to you. All you knew was that he was going to be by your side no matter what, protecting your heart alongside the city.

☆ permanent taglist (open):

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talaok · 5 months

Text

But Daddy I Love Him

summary: You and Joel shouldn't be together. According to the people in Jackson, he's a bad, cruel, crazy man, and yet... he's all you ever wanted.

Warnings: smut (unprotected p in v), angst, blood, physical fight (?), happy ending (cause of course)

a/n: ive been obsessed with this song since it came out, please just go listen to it

Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Screamin', "But, Daddy, I love him I'm havin' his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want

— — —

"fuck"

"god"

His breath, his hands, his beard, his mouth, his cock

Him

He was all you could feel, he was all that existed,

nothing but him and his intoxicating aura, his manly mist, his sweaty body his strong arms,

Him

Joel Miller

The man you should not want, the man you should be terrified of, that you should run and hide from,

the terrible, crazy, Joel Miller

The same one everyone told you to stay away from, your friends, your family, strangers, the entirety of Jackson

And yet he was the only man you ever really wanted, really needed.

"I missed you so much"

Even your own voice was nothing, it was a phantom of something that existed long ago, something that stopped living every time he was near, every time he would make everything dissipate into thin air with just his presence.

"I missed you too baby girl" he grunted,

oh how he grunts, how he groans, how he moans

nobody does it like him

"missed you so fucking much darlin'"

His voice felt like a prayer, like a sweet invocation to the sky up above, to whomever would listen,

one that countered completely what he was doing, the nothing but sinful way he had you up against the wall, his hands gripping your waist as he thrust his cock in and out of you so fast you might just break.

The bed was right beside you, but that didn't matter, that's how you were

You and Joel,

like animals, like soulmates, like desperate, desperate lovers

Your minds didn't work the same when you were near, they didn't work at all, one could argue

But isn't that was love is after all?

"oh my god" you moaned, hiding your head in the crook of his neck as one particular deep thrust made you see stars

"I know darlin'" he cooed, only going faster, deeper "I know"

"Joel" you cried, biting down on his skin "f-fuck"

It had only been two weeks since you last saw each other, but it might as well been decades.

They had sent him away.

Nobody liked him in Jackson, not once they'd learned his story, the terrible things he'd done

And when they found out about you... not even his own brother could protect him.

So they'd exiled him.

But they couldn't keep him away forever, not when he had something to come back for.

"god fuckin' damnit babygirl- you feel so fuckin' good"

Your moans only got higher, your nails clinging to his back like a rabid cat.

"perfect lil' pussy" he growled, his hot breath on your sweaty neck pulling shivers from your body "Perfect fuckin' girl"

"oh fuck" you whined, tightening your legs' hold onto his waist

"you feel so good too Joel" you promised, breathing heavily in synch with him "You and your perfect cock"

He groaned so loud he sounded like an animal

"might want to keep that pretty mouth shut if you want this to last, sugar"

You didn't know where you found the strength to laugh, but you did

"you're gonna come too soon, old man?"

His hold on your waist pulled you even closer, as you raised your head to look him in the eyes

God, he was handsome

"just might, if you keep saying stuff like that"

but before you could tell him how it wasn't fair, how he did it all the time and you couldn't do it even once, his thumb was on your clit and your eyes were to the back of your head.

"no" he stopped you before you could hide your face from him again "I want to see you"

And as warmth filled your chest and your forehead fell to his and pressure built in your belly, he murmured:

"good girl- come for me, just like that- Jesus Christ-"

And so you did,

You came and moaned and cried, and it didn't take much before he was doing the same, pumping you full of him until he'd given you every single drop.

And then you kissed, he kissed you slowly and gently and in the same exact way that made you fall for him the very first time.

"god I missed you so much" he breathed once you leaned away

A smile from ear to ear took over your face and all you could do was kiss him again

"me too baby" you murmured, as he helped you to your feet

You both smiled like silly idiots as you dressed again,

but neither of you could resist being in each other's arms, so you didn't.

He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the crown of your head once you rested it on his still bare chest.

You didn't get how anyone could hate him,

You swore they wouldn't, they wouldn't if they only got to meet him, the real him, not the idea of him they had painted in their minds.

And so you hummed, breathing him in, clinging to him as he clung to you

Up until the very moment it all went to shit

Again.

"hey honey I just got back I-"

It was sad really, the fact you'd seen this scene before.

The disappointment in your dad's eyes, the fear turning into primal rage inside his iris, his fists tightening, Joel taking a step back

A deja-vu had never felt quite so devastating

"Arthur" Joel tried to speak, but your dad was already on him, his fist had already connected with his cheek

"What did I tell you!?" another punch "Last time was just a fucking warning!" and another

Joel was on the ground

He wasn't going to fight back.

This wasn't how he wanted to handle things

Not this time

Not with you

"I'll kill you this time you fucking disgusting pervert!" you swore you heard Joel's cheekbone crack with another hit "How dare you!?" your dad growled, Joel's bloody face beneath him "In my own home- how dare you take advantage of my daughter you fucking- pig!"

Your eyes were overflowing with tears, the top buttons of your dress were still unbuttoned, and Joel's chest was rising and falling too slowly, much too slowly

"dad"

But he kept going

"dad stop!"

you grabbed his wrist, and the moment his eyes met yours it felt like the word stopped, like it had frozen over.

You caused all that anger, all that pain

But if he just would listen to you...

"y/n"

"dad" your voice trembled as much as your fingers "dad I love him"

You saw his heart break. For all the wrong reasons,

for his poor daughter who was taken advantage of, for the naive, innocent daughter he couldn't protect. For the daughter that didn't exist. Because that wasn't you, that wasn't how things had gone.

"you don't know what you're saying"

His voice was harsh, cruel, cold.

"But I do!" tears ran down your cheeks as you glanced down to where Joel lay, to the cuts and blood coating his face "I love him dad, I really really do"

"You don't know who this man is" he said "The things he's done..." he said with a snarl, as if disgusted, as if the rage was surging from his chest all over again

"I know" you whispered "I know everything- He told me all of it dad, please" you begged "Please just let him go, let him talk"

"I don't need to listen to a word that comes out of this fucker's mouth"

"but dad-"

It was like a bomb went off

"HE'S 56!" he yelled, his grip on Joel's neck tightening "he's fifty fucking six y/n! You just fucking turned 21!" his voice bounced off the walls like thunder, "You're not even half his age!"

"who cares!?" you screamed too now, only your voice was interrupted by sobs

"I DO!" he roared "Your mom would!" his eyes were wide with urgency, and although he was mad you could still hear the care behind his words "He might have made you think this is ok, that he loves you, but trust me none of it is true" he sighed "He's using you honey, I know it's hard to understand right now, but you- you're young- you don't know-"

Your hand left him, shaking as it went to wipe your tears.

"dad" you said more firmly now "I might be young but I'm not stupid"

"y/n-"

"no" you stopped him "Dad this is the first time I've ever felt this way, like I cannot breathe when he's not close, like I need him more than I need air" you swallowed thickly "And I know- I know it's hard to understand, I know it's easier to just go with the narrative in your head, of the fragile little girl and the big creepy guy, but this-" you took a shaky breath as you glanced at Joel again

His eyes were barely open, he was barely conscious

"This isn't like that" you promised "I- I love him, and he loves me"

"Honey-"

"I'm not done" you stopped him again "I'll never forgive you dad" you shook your head, simply stating the truth "I'll never forgive you if you do this, if you don't even give him a chance to explain, to tell you how things really are"

You saw the conflict in his eyes, the searing pain caused him to hear such words from his daughter, to hear her beg and threaten and speak up all at once,

and yet... yet he couldn't shake off the honesty, the hope lacing your words, your voice, sparkling from your eyes

And so he did the only thing he could,

he agreed, he agreed to hear the full story.

___

That was two years ago now,

and sometimes you wondered if it all was just a bad dream, if your imagination had tricked you into believing some silly made-up story,

but the glares from the people in town always seemed to refresh your memory.

And yes, maybe you would have liked to live a life without people whispering ugly things about you behind your back every day... but then maybe, maybe it was all worth it

For this.

For the child growing in your belly, for the veil on top of your head, for the sound of your dad stifling his sobs beside you,

for the image of Joel waiting for you at the end of the aisle, for the tears in his eyes, for the smile on his face,

for him,

for you,

It was all worth it,

Yes, yes it definitely was.

— — —

Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I'm his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn't it give some perspective? And, no, you can't come to the wedding I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us #joel miller x fem reader #but daddy i love him #taylor swift

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mrsfancyferrari · 2 months

Note

Hiyaaa! I really loved your story about Lando (also love how lengthy it was)!

I was wondering if you could write a best friends to lovers story with Lando where the reader thinks she isn’t Lando’s type (like maybe he prefers blondes and model types but reader isn’t). A bit of angst but hopefully a happy ending.

No worries if you say no though. Thank you!!

My Type

Anon: I was wondering if you could write a best friends to lovers story with Lando where the reader thinks she isn’t Lando’s type (like maybe he prefers blondes and model types but reader isn’t). A bit of angst but hopefully a happy ending.

Song: Friends by Chase Atlantic

Author’s note: Sorry it took so long! Writer's block is a real thing! I had to make it just for you first. Also I haven't a clue about how the process of modelling works so bare with me. Please like, reblog and share this! <3

Word count: 19.6k

The Belgian Grand Prix is one of the most prestigious races in the Formula 1 calendar, known for its challenging track and unpredictable weather. Winning this race is a significant accomplishment for any driver, marking a high point in their career.

Lando's victory at such a renowned event was a testament to his skill and dedication, making the celebration all the more special.

You stood at the edge of the crowded party, your dark hair cascading down your shoulders as you watched Lando, your long-time best friend, bask in the glory of his first-place finish at the Belgian Grand Prix.

The air was filled with excitement and anticipation as everyone celebrated his success.

As the night progressed, you could feel the weight of jealousy settling deep within your heart.

Lando, not just content with his victory on the track, had taken up the role of DJ for the night, surrounded by some of his closest friends. The upbeat music he played matched the electric atmosphere, drawing cheers and applause from everyone in the room.

You watched as he seamlessly transitioned between tracks, his infectious energy captivating the crowd. Each song seemed to elevate the party's spirit, and yet, with every beat, you felt the pang of envy grow stronger.

You had always been proud of Lando's accomplishments, but tonight, the spotlight felt blinding. It wasn't just his victory; it was the way he commanded the room, the way everyone gravitated towards him.

You tried to shake off the feeling, forcing a smile whenever he glanced your way. But the gnawing sense of being overshadowed was hard to ignore.

As the night wore on, you found yourself torn between celebrating your best friend's success and confronting the uncomfortable emotions swirling within you.

You watched as Lando, known for his preference for blondes and model types, engaged in lively conversations with two stunning girls with golden locks and perfectly sculpted bodies.

Their laughter and carefree demeanor made you envy them, as you couldn't help but wonder if Lando would ever see you in the same light.

Unable to bear the sight of Lando being fawned over by girls you felt you weren't his type, you decided to call it a night and leave the party early.

The ache in your heart was overwhelming, and you needed some time to clear your head.

As you stepped outside into the cool night air, you couldn't help but feel a mix of relief and disappointment.

You had cherished the friendship you had built with Lando over the years, but deep down, you always held a secret hope that there might be something more.

Once you arrived home, you slipped out of your party dress and changed into comfortable pajamas, feeling the soft fabric soothe your skin. You wiped off your makeup, each stroke of the cotton pad removing the remnants of the night's emotions.

As you looked at your reflection in the mirror, you couldn't help but wonder if you were destined to always be just a friend in Lando's eyes.

Curling up on the couch with a blanket, you let out a deep sigh, trying to shake off the melancholy that had settled over you. Your phone buzzed with notifications from the party, but you ignored them, wanting to detach from the world for a while.

Despite the inner turmoil, a small part of you still held onto the hope that one day, Lando might see you differently, and until then, you had to find a way to be content with the bond you already shared.

Perhaps, you thought, the next time you and Lando had a quiet moment together, you could share a heartfelt memory from your past that highlighted how much his friendship meant to you. You could let him know how grateful you were for the support and trust you had built over the years, and subtly hint at how your feelings had grown deeper.

Maybe then, he would begin to see you in a different light.

An hour later, there was a soft knock on the door. Expecting it to be one of the girls from earlier, you were pleasantly surprised to see Lando and Carlos standing on the other side. Carlos warm smile instantly lifted your spirits, and a wave of relief washed over you.

"Hey, there you are! Lando wouldn't stop whining if I didn't find you," Carlos said, his voice filled with concern.

Lando had been clinging to Carlos, his eyes drifting around until they landed on you. The moment his gaze met yours, a mixture of relief and something unspoken flickered across his face.

"I was worried about you," he admitted quietly, stepping closer as Carlos gave him a gentle nudge forward.

As Lando stepped closer, your eyes met, and in that moment, everything seemed to shift. The spark that had been dormant for so long ignited, and you found yourself caught up in the intensity of his gaze.

Without hesitation, Lando closed the distance between you, wrapping his arms around your waist. His touch sent shivers down your spine, filling you with a warmth that you had never known before.

"Looks like my job here is done, goodnight guys," Carlos said, closing the door softly behind him, a knowing smile playing on his lips. You could hear his footsteps fade away, leaving you and Lando in a bubble of privacy.

Lando's arms tightened around you, and you could feel the rapid beat of his heart against your chest.

"Why did you leave?" Lando asked, his voice barely above a whisper, his forehead resting against yours.

You hesitated, unsure of how to explain the torrent of emotions that had driven you away. "I just… I didn't think you would notice," you confessed.

Lando pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. "I've always noticed you," he said softly, his gaze never wavering. "I don't want anyone else. Just you."

"Lando…" you muttered, "you're drunk, you don't mean that." His grip on you tightened as he shook his head, determination etched across his face.

"I'm not drunk enough to lie about this," he insisted, his voice steady despite the swirling emotions between you.

"Come on, Lando, let's go lie down," you said, trying to change the subject and ease the tension. "In your bed?" Lando asked eagerly, his eyes lighting up with a hopeful glint.

"No, on the sofa," you replied quickly, leading him towards the living room. As you both settled onto the couch, Lando rested his head in your lap, his arms still wrapped around your waist.

The warmth of his body against yours provided a strange comfort, and you gently stroked his hair, hoping that the peaceful moment would help both of you find some clarity.

"We can talk more in the morning," you whispered, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "For now, just rest."

Lando sighed softly, his eyes fluttering closed as he nestled closer to you. "Okay," he murmured, his voice filled with a mix of exhaustion and contentment.

He murmured, his voice barely audible, "but promise me you won't leave again."

His breathing gradually slowed, and the tension in his body eased, allowing both of you to momentarily escape the complexities of the night.

"I promise," you muttered softly, your fingers continuing to trace soothing patterns in his hair. The weight of your words seemed to bring him a sense of peace, and soon his breathing became deep and even.

You watched over him, feeling a sense of calm wash over you as well, knowing that for now, at least, you were right where you needed to be. . . .

The first light of morning filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the living room. You stirred slightly, feeling the warmth of a blanket draped over you.

As you opened your eyes, you realized you were nestled in Lando's arms, his face inches from yours, still deep in slumber. His steady breaths tickled your cheek, and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of him so peaceful and vulnerable.

Carefully, you shifted to get a better look at him, your heart swelling with a mix of emotions. The events of the previous night replayed in your mind, and you wondered what the day would bring.

Would he remember his heartfelt confession? Would things between you change?

For now, you decided to savor the moment, gently brushing a lock of hair away from his face as you whispered, "Good morning, Lando."

Lando's eyelids began to flutter as he gradually woke from his deep slumber. His brow furrowed slightly, and he let out a soft, contented sigh. Slowly, his eyes opened, revealing a hint of confusion that quickly melted into recognition as he saw you gazing down at him.

A sleepy smile spread across his face, and he tightened his grip around you, pulling you closer as if to confirm that you were really there.

"Good morning," he mumbled, his voice husky from sleep. He took a moment to fully wake up, blinking a few times before raising a hand to rub the sleep from his eyes.

You noticed the way his face softened as he remembered the events of the previous night, and a faint blush crept into his cheeks.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, his tone gentle and filled with genuine concern.

"I did," you replied with a warm smile, feeling the sincerity in his question. "It was one of the best nights of sleep I’ve had in a long time. How about you? You seemed pretty peaceful."

Lando chuckled softly, still holding you close. "Yeah, I slept well, thanks to you. I was worried I might have said too much last night, but seeing you here now, I feel like everything's going to be alright."

His eyes searched yours, seeking reassurance, and you could see the vulnerability lingering just beneath the surface.

"Do you… do you regret anything from last night?" he asked tentatively, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What happened yesterday?" you asked, only remembering when you collected him from Carlos.

Lando's expression shifted slightly, a mix of surprise and concern crossing his features. "You don't remember?" he asked, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

You blinked, the memories slowly piecing themselves together. "I do remember picking you up from Carlos, but everything after that is a bit of a blur," you admitted, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Lando's grip on you tightened slightly, as if to offer comfort. "It's okay," he said softly, a tender smile forming on his lips. "Don't worry about it. It was nothing serious."

"Okay," you said, and Lando smiled, propping himself up with one elbow. The morning light cast a soft glow over his features, making him look even more handsome. He gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his touch light and affectionate.

"Hey, I was wondering," he began, his fingers still lingering near your hair, "are you going anywhere during the summer break?" His eyes were filled with a mix of curiosity and hope, as if he was eager for your answer.

You paused for a moment, considering your plans. "I hadn't really decided yet," you replied honestly. "I was thinking of maybe taking a trip somewhere relaxing, but nothing's set in stone. Why do you ask?"

Lando's face lit up with a hint of excitement. "Well, I was thinking that we could go home first because my mom has been dying to see you again." He looked at you earnestly, waiting for your response.

"I saw her just last month though," you said with a chuckle.

Lando laughed, shaking his head slightly. "Yeah, but maybe she just likes you a lot. I swear she likes you more than her own son," he teased, giving you a playful nudge.

You laughed softly at his playful jab, feeling the warmth of his affection. "Well, I do have a certain charm," you said with a wink, "but I'd love to see her again. Besides, it's always nice to have a home-cooked meal and spend time with your family."

You paused, looking into his eyes. "And it would be good to spend more time with you too, away from all the chaos."

Lando's eyes brightened even more at your words. "That's great to hear," he said, his voice filled with genuine happiness. "We can plan something together. Maybe after visiting my mom, we can take that relaxing trip you mentioned. Just the two of us, somewhere quiet and beautiful."

"What do you think?" he asked softly, his breath warm against your skin.

Your heart fluttered at the idea. "That sounds perfect, Lando," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "I think a trip like that would be exactly what we need."

Lando's smile widened, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. "I'm glad you think so. Let's start planning it then. Maybe we can look at some places tonight and figure out where we want to go."

His excitement was contagious, and you found yourself grinning back at him, already imagining the serene moments you'd share together.

"Let's just focus on today," you suggested, your eyes sparkling with a mix of hope and excitement. "How about we make some breakfast together? I promise not to burn the toast this time."

Lando laughed, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort envelop you. "That sounds perfect," he agreed, and together you started your day, leaving the uncertainties of the night behind.

As you tried to get up, you felt Lando's arm still around your waist, holding you close. "Lando?" you asked softly, glancing back at him.

His eyes were half-closed, a lazy smile playing on his lips. "I didn't say now," he murmured, his voice laced with playful insistence. "Sleep a little more."

You chuckled, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. "Okay, but only for one hour," you insisted, trying to sound stern but failing miserably as a smile tugged at your lips. "We have a lot to do today."

Lando's grip loosened just slightly, but he didn't let go. "Fine, one hour," he agreed, his eyes closing again. "But no burning the toast later, deal?"

You laughed softly, nestling back into his embrace. "Deal," you whispered, closing your eyes and letting the comfort of the moment wash over you. . . .

The next time you opened your eyes, the sun had climbed higher in the sky, casting a warm glow across the living room. You noticed Lando was no longer beside you.

Sitting up, you stretched and immediately caught the delicious aroma of something cooking. Curiosity piqued, you slipped out of the blanket and made your way to the kitchen.

There, you find Lando, humming softly to himself as he expertly flipped pancakes on the stove. The table was set with fresh fruit, juice, and a pot of steaming coffee. He turned and saw you, a grin spreading across his face.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he teased. "Thought I'd surprise you with breakfast. And don't worry, I didn't burn the toast."

"Good morning, chef," you replied, hopping up to sit on the counter, your legs swinging playfully. "This looks amazing! I guess I should let you take over breakfast duty more often." You reached out to snag a piece of fruit from the table, popping it into your mouth with a grin.

Lando chuckled, his eyes twinkling with delight. "Don't get too used to it. I might just expect you to return the favor next time," he teased, flipping another pancake with a flourish.

"But seriously, I wanted to make today special. We have a lot to look forward to, and I thought starting with a good breakfast would set the tone."

You smiled warmly, feeling your heart swell with affection as you watched him move around the kitchen, his care and attention evident in every gesture.

"Should I get the plane ready?" you asked, reaching for your phone. Lando glanced over his shoulder, his brow furrowing slightly before softening into a smile.

"Let's not rush," he said, placing a stack of perfectly golden pancakes onto a plate. "We have the whole day ahead of us. How about we enjoy breakfast first and then take it from there?"

You nodded, sliding off the counter to help set the table. "You're right. We don't need to hurry. Besides, this breakfast looks too good to rush through."

Lando grinned, pouring syrup over the pancakes. "That's the spirit. Let's take our time and savor every moment today."

As you set the final plates on the table, you couldn't help but sneak another glance at Lando. The morning light streaming through the windows cast a warm glow on his face, making him look even more radiant.

"You know," you began, taking a seat beside him, "I never knew you could cook like this. Where did you learn?"

Lando smiled, a hint of pride in his eyes. "Believe it or not, my grandmother taught me. She always said that a good meal brings people together, no matter how busy life gets."

He placed a fork in your hand, nudging you playfully. "Now, dig in before it gets cold. We have a whole day to make the most of, starting with this breakfast."

You both settled into a comfortable rhythm, chatting and laughing as you enjoyed the meal. The promise of the day ahead making everything taste even sweeter.

After breakfast, the two of you cleaned up quickly, eager to start the day's adventure. "So, what's the plan?" you asked, excitement bubbling in your voice.

Lando smiled, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. "I thought we could explore my second home before heading back to the UK. There's a quaint little village nearby that I think you'll love. It's filled with charming cafes and picturesque scenery."

The thought of discovering new places together filled you with joy. As you packed your bags and prepared for the journey, you couldn't help but feel grateful for this spontaneous trip."Here first, then to the UK," you repeated, feeling the thrill of the unknown.

Lando nodded, his enthusiasm infectious. "Exactly. Let's make some unforgettable memories."

You chose to wear a stunning burnt orange printed mesh cut-out frill hem midi dress for the journey. The vibrant color complemented the morning's warm glow, and the intricate patterns added a playful touch to your look.

As you slipped it on, the dress hugged your curves perfectly, accentuating your silhouette in all the right places. The cut-out details added a hint of allure, while the frilled hem swayed gracefully with each step, giving you an air of effortless elegance.

Lando's eyes widened in appreciation as he saw you. "Wow, you look incredible," he said, his voice filled with admiration.

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks but smiled confidently. "Thanks, Lando. Ready to go?"

"Absolutely," Lando replied, his grin broadening. "But first, I have a little surprise for you." Intrigued, you followed him outside where a sleek, vintage convertible was parked in the driveway.

The car gleamed under the morning sun, its polished exterior hinting at many adventures yet to come. "I thought we could drive there in style," he said, opening the passenger door for you.

You slid into the plush leather seat, the scent of the car's interior mingling with the fresh morning air.

Lando hopped in beside you, turning the key and bringing the engine to life with a low, satisfying rumble.

"This is amazing, Lando," you said, your excitement evident. "I can't wait to see what the day has in store for us."

He backed out of the driveway, and the two of you set off, ready to embrace whatever adventures lay ahead.

As the car glided down the winding country roads, the scenery unfolded like a painting. Rolling hills blanketed with golden wildflowers stretched out on either side, and ancient oak trees stood proudly, their branches reaching out to touch the sky.

The morning mist began to lift, revealing quaint cottages with ivy-clad walls and gardens bursting with vibrant blooms, creating a postcard-perfect backdrop for your journey.

With the roof down, the wind tousled your hair and the warm sun kissed your skin, adding to the sense of freedom that the open road provided.

You could hear the cheerful songs of birds and the rustling of leaves, creating a symphony that perfectly matched the picturesque landscape around you.

The scent of blooming flowers and fresh grass filled the air, heightening your senses and making each moment feel even more magical.

You turned to Lando, his eyes sparkling with the same excitement you felt. "This is perfect," you said, your voice barely rising above a whisper as you took in the beauty around you.

He nodded, his grin never fading. "Just wait," he replied, "we're only getting started." The car cruised effortlessly through the countryside, each mile bringing new sights and experiences, cementing the day as one you would always cherish.

You soon reached a quaint little town nestled in the heart of the countryside. The cobblestone streets were bustling with life, as locals went about their morning routines.

Market stalls lined the square, offering everything from fresh produce to handmade crafts, and the aroma of freshly baked bread wafted through the air. Children laughed and played near a fountain, their carefree joy adding to the town's charm.

Lando parked the car near a cozy café, its outdoor seating shaded by colorful umbrellas.

As you stepped out of the car, the townspeople greeted you with warm smiles and friendly nods. The sense of community was palpable, and you felt an immediate connection to this charming place.

"This is the places where I used to go with my mom," Lando bragged as he got out of the car to help you out. "I know basically everyone here." His eyes twinkled with a mix of nostalgia and pride as he gestured towards the bustling market.

"Let me show you around. You'll love it."

As you walked, Lando pointed out various landmarks and introduced you to the friendly locals. "That's Mr and Mrs. Thompson's bakery," he said, nodding towards an inviting shop with a window display full of pastries. "They make the best scones you'll ever taste."

Every corner seemed to hold a memory, and Lando's excitement was infectious. "And over there is Mr. Miller's blacksmith shop. He's been here for as long as I can remember."

With each introduction, you felt more at home, your heart swelling with appreciation for this special place and the man who shared it with you.

You and Lando explored the town together, stopping to admire the intricate details of the historic buildings and sampling local delicacies from the market. Every interaction and discovery added layers to the day's adventure, making it clear that this visit would be a highlight of your journey.

"Oh, I have to go do a message for my mom," Lando told you, his expression suddenly serious yet still warm. "Come with me," he added, taking your hand and leading you through the lively town.

As you walked, the conversations around you seemed to blend into a symphony of community life, making you feel both a part of and a visitor to this wonderful place.

"Is it far?" you asked, curious about the errand and eager to see more.

"Not at all," Lando replied with a reassuring smile. "My mom always has something for Mrs. Thompson. They go way back. You'll love her; she's like another grandmother to me."

His words carried a sense of nostalgia that made you even more eager to meet this special person.

As you approached the bakery, the warm scent of freshly baked goods enveloped you, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation for the next part of your adventure.

Mrs. Thompson appeared at the doorway, a petite woman with silver hair neatly tied into a bun and a welcoming smile that crinkled the corners of her eyes. She wore a flour-dusted apron and wiped her hands on it as she stepped forward to greet you both.

"Lando! It's been too long," Mrs. Thompson exclaimed, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him. Lando gave her a big hug, lifting her slightly off the ground, which made her laugh heartily.

"And who is this lovely companion?" she asked, turning her attention to you. Lando introduced you, explaining how he had been showing you around the town.

"Well, any friend of Lando's is a friend of mine," Mrs. Thompson said warmly, extending her hand to you.

"Come in, come in. You must try our new raspberry scones; they're fresh out of the oven." She led you both into the cozy bakery, the smell of sugar and butter wafting through the air.

The bakery was a charming blend of old-world elegance and rustic charm. Shelves lined with jars of homemade jams and preserves added a vibrant splash of color against the warm, wooden walls.

Vintage baking tools hung as decorations, each one a testament to the bakery's rich history. A large chalkboard menu displayed the day's offerings in beautiful, looping script, and a display case full of decadent pastries and breads beckoned invitingly.

In one corner of the room, a small seating area was adorned with mismatched, yet cozy, chairs and tables, each one covered with a delicate lace tablecloth. Potted plants hung from the ceiling, their green leaves creating a serene canopy overhead.

The walls were adorned with black-and-white photographs of the town from decades past, giving the space a nostalgic touch. It was the kind of place that made you want to linger, savoring not just the delicious treats, but also the warmth and history that enveloped you.

As you settled into one of the cozy chairs, you couldn't help but notice the friendly banter between the staff and the regular customers. Mrs. Thompson moved effortlessly from table to table, sharing a laugh here and a kind word there, making everyone feel like family.

A young barista behind the counter was expertly crafting lattes while exchanging jokes with an elderly gentleman who seemed to be a daily fixture.

"So, what brings you here?" Mrs. Thompson asked after greeting everyone and sitting with you both.

Lando smiled, taking a sip of his coffee before responding. "Well, first Mom told me to give this to you and we wanted to explore the town and thought there was no better place to start than your bakery," he said, handing a package to her.

You nodded in agreement, adding, "Lando's been singing praises about your scones and the warm atmosphere here, and I must say, he wasn't exaggerating."

Mrs. Thompson beamed at the compliment, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'm glad to hear that. We always strive to make everyone feel at home," she said, pouring herself a cup of tea.

"So, what do you think of our little town so far?" she inquired, genuinely curious.

You shared your initial impressions, mentioning the charm of the historic buildings and the friendliness of the locals. As the conversation flowed, you felt an even deeper appreciation for the bakery and the community spirit it embodied.

Taking a bite of the scone, you were immediately struck by its perfect balance of texture: a crisp, golden exterior giving way to a soft, buttery center. The subtle sweetness was complemented by the tang of fresh berries, creating a symphony of flavors that danced on your palate.

It was the kind of scones that made you understand why people kept coming back for more.

Excusing yourself to the bathroom, you left Lando and Mrs. Thompson to continue their chat. As soon as you were out of earshot, Mrs. Thompson gave a knowing look to Lando and leaned in with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"So she's just a 'friend'?" she asked, a smirk playing on her lips.

Lando blushed, clearly caught off guard. "Yeah, just a friend," he stammered, though the pink tint on his cheeks betrayed his words.

Mrs. Thompson chuckled warmly. "Oh, Lando, you young ones always think you can hide these things. It's written all over your face," she said, patting his hand. "Either way, I'm glad to see you two here. It's not often someone brings such a sparkle to your eyes."

Lando could only smile sheepishly, silently thankful for the warmth and understanding that Mrs. Thompson always seemed to offer.

You returned from the bathroom, catching the tail end of their conversation. "What are you two whispering about?" you asked with a playful grin, noticing the slight blush still lingering on Lando's cheeks. Mrs. Thompson winked at you, her expression as welcoming as ever.

Mrs. Thompson simply winked and said, "Oh, nothing much, dear. Just a little friendly chat."

You raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Is that so? Well, I hope it was something good," you teased, taking another sip of your tea.

Lando cleared his throat and tried to change the subject. "So, what other places should we visit while we're in town, Mrs. Thompson?" he asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from himself.

Mrs. Thompson smiled, playing along with the diversion. "Oh, there are plenty of wonderful spots to explore. The old lighthouse at the edge of town is a must-see, especially around sunset. And if you're into antiques, there's a lovely little shop run by Mr. Jenkins down on Maple Street. His collection is simply fascinating," she said, her eyes twinkling.

"But most of all, just take the time to wander and soak in the atmosphere. This town has a way of revealing its secrets to those who take the time to truly look."

You nodded eagerly, feeling a sense of excitement bubbling up inside you. "The lighthouse sounds perfect," you said, glancing at Lando, who seemed relieved to have the focus shifted away from him. "We should head over there soon if we want to catch the sunset," you suggested.

Lando's eyes met yours, and he gave a small, grateful smile before turning back to Mrs. Thompson.

"We'll definitely make time for Mr. Jenkins' shop too," Lando added, standing up and offering his hand to help you up. "Thank you so much for the recommendations, Mrs. Thompson. It was lovely chatting with you."

Mrs. Thompson beamed, her warm presence making you feel right at home. "Enjoy yourselves, dears. And don't be strangers—come back and visit an old lady like me sometime," she said with a wink.

With a final wave, you and Lando headed out, eager to chase the golden hour at the lighthouse.

As you strolled through the quaint streets of the town, the golden light of the setting sun bathed everything in a warm glow. The salty breeze from the sea whispered through the trees, carrying the faint sound of waves crashing against the shore.

With each step, the lighthouse grew closer, its silhouette standing tall against the vibrant hues of the evening sky.

As you and Lando approached the lighthouse, it became clear that Mrs. Thompson hadn't exaggerated. The structure stood majestically on the cliff, its whitewashed walls glowing softly in the fading light.

The panoramic view from the edge was breathtaking; the ocean stretched endlessly, reflecting the brilliant oranges and pinks of the sunset. You could hear the distant cry of seagulls and the rhythmic crashing of waves far below.

Lando turned to you, his eyes wide with awe. "This place is incredible," he said, his voice filled with wonder. "I can see why Mrs. Thompson suggested we come here."

You nodded in agreement, feeling a deep sense of peace wash over you. "It's like time stands still here," you replied softly. "I never imagined a place could be this beautiful."

Lando smiled, taking his arm around your shoulder. "Let's stay a little longer," he suggested. "I don't think I'm ready to leave just yet."

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at his gesture, the warmth of his arm around you making your heart flutter. "I'd like that," you said softly, looking down at your feet to hide your shy smile.

"There's something magical about this place. It's like an escape from everything else."

Lando's grip on your shoulder tightened slightly, and he leaned in closer. "I'm glad we came here together," he murmured, his voice gentle and sincere. "Moments like these... they're worth holding onto."

You looked up at him, meeting his gaze and feeling a connection that was even stronger than the serene beauty surrounding you.

"I'm really glad we came here." you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of the waves.

You gently took Lando's hand that rested on your shoulder and held it tightly, feeling a rush of warmth spread through you. The simple act made your heart race, and you couldn't help but feel a deeper bond forming between you.

"This place really is special," you said, squeezing his hand gently, "and being here with you makes it even more unforgettable."

What you didn't see was how red Lando's face became from your actions. He looked down, a bashful smile tugging at his lips as he tried to steady his breath.

"Yeah, it really does," he managed to say, his voice tinged with emotion.

The two of you stood there, hand in hand, lost in the magic of the moment, with the world seemingly pausing around you. . . .

As the evening sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the landscape, you and Lando arrived in London. The bustling city lights began to twinkle as he navigated through the familiar streets, eventually pulling up to a charming, ivy-covered house.

"Welcome to my parents' place again," Lando said, a mix of excitement and nervousness in his voice.

He turned off the engine and looked at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.

Stepping out of the car, you took in the surroundings, feeling a sense of anticipation. Lando walked around to your side as you two approached the front door. "I hope they still like you," he teased, his voice softer now. "Mom will definitely be looking forward to seeing you again."

A smile spread across your face as you remembered the warmth and hospitality of his family from your last visit. "I remember your mom's amazing lasagna and how your dad challenged me to that never-ending game of chess," you said with a chuckle.

"I'm looking forward to seeing them too."

As soon as Lando opened the door for you, you heard footsteps rushing towards the front door. "Lando! You're back!" his mom exclaimed, her face lighting up with joy as she enveloped him in a warm hug.

"And you brought our favorite guest!" she added, turning to you with a welcoming smile.

"Lando, it's good to see you, son," his dad called from the living room, his voice filled with genuine warmth. He appeared moments later.

"And you, young chess rival," he said to you with a wink, "ready for a rematch?"

The familiar, comforting atmosphere of their home washed over you, and you couldn't help but feel like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

"Honestly, Adam, you and your chess games," Lando's mom said with a playful roll of her eyes. "You know you always take forever to make a move."

Adam chuckled, shaking his head. "It's called strategy, darling. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, please," she retorted, turning back to you with a conspiratorial smile. "Just make sure he doesn't keep you up all night with his so-called 'strategizing.' You know how he gets when he thinks he's winning."

"You mean when I am winning," Adam corrected with a grin, eliciting a light-hearted groan from Lando and a laugh from you.

"Also congratulations on winning the race, son!" Cisca said happily, her eyes sparkling with pride. "We watched every moment, and you were absolutely brilliant out there."

"Thanks, Mom," Lando said, his cheeks flushing slightly. "It was a tough race, but I gave it my all."

"And it showed," Adam chimed in, clapping Lando on the back. "You handled those turns like a pro. We're so proud of you."

"Yeah, the whole town's been talking about it," Cisca added, leading you all into the cozy living room. "But enough about the race for now. Let's get you both settled in. Dinner's almost ready, and we have so much to catch up on."

Lando placed your coat on the hanger before following you into the living room, where the aroma of a home-cooked meal wafted through the air.

"Smells amazing in here, Cisca," you remarked, taking a seat on the plush sofa. "What’s on the menu tonight?"

"Oh, just a little something special to celebrate Lando's big win," Cisca replied with a wink. "Roast chicken with all the fixings, and for dessert, your favorite—apple pie." Lando's eyes lit up at the mention of the dessert.

"You always know how to make us feel at home, Mom," he said, settling down beside you. Adam, meanwhile, was already setting up the chessboard on the coffee table, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Ready to lose again?" he teased, and you couldn't help but laugh as you moved your first pawn.

The next twenty minutes were a blur of strategic moves and playful banter between you and Adam. "You sure you want to move that knight there?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow. "Don't say I didn't warn you.

"Just wait and see," you replied confidently, sliding your piece into position.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Lando was busy helping his mom with the cooking and setting the table. "Mom, where do you keep the salad bowls again?" he called out.

"Top shelf, sweetheart," Cisca responded, her hands expertly basting the roast chicken. "And don't forget to set out the fancy napkins. Tonight's a celebration, after all."

As you captured one of Adam's bishops, you overheard Lando's cheerful voice. "You know, Mom, I think this might be the best meal you've ever made."

"Only the best for my champion," she replied, beaming. "Now, go check on the pie, will you?"

"It looks like you have a thing for my boy," Adam muttered for only you to hear, his eyes never leaving the chessboard.

"What?" you said, shocked, momentarily losing your focus on the game. Adam's smirk grew wider as he moved his queen into position.

"Checkmate," he announced triumphantly. You blinked, still processing his earlier comment. Adam leaned back, folding his arms. "You didn't deny it," he said teasingly, his eyes glinting with mischief.

"Well, I—" you stammered, your cheeks flushing.

Before you could gather your thoughts, Lando walked back into the room, holding a perfectly golden apple pie. "What's going on here?" he asked, glancing between you and Adam with a curious smile.

"Nothing much," Adam replied casually, though the smirk never left his face. "Just wrapping up another game of chess. You should join us next time."

You quickly nodded, trying to compose yourself. "Yeah, Lando, you'd be a worthy opponent," you added, hoping to steer the conversation away from your flustered state.

Lando chuckled, setting the pie down on the table. "Maybe next time. But for now, let's dig into dinner before it gets cold."

You got off the sofa and made your way to one of the seats in the living room, feeling a bit flustered. Lando quickly stepped in to help you with your seat, his warm smile putting you at ease.

As he sat down beside you, he leaned in slightly. "You okay?" he asked softly, his eyes filled with genuine concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you replied, offering a small smile. "Just a little thrown off by the game, that's all."

Lando chuckled, shaking his head. "Dad can be a bit intense, but he's harmless. Besides, he's just trying to get a rise out of you."

You nodded, grateful for his comforting presence. "Thanks, Lando. I appreciate it." He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before turning his attention to the delicious spread in front of you.

"Now, let's enjoy this amazing meal Mom made," he said, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

Lando's parents exchanged a knowing glance, their smiles softening as they observed the tender moment between the two of you. His mother nudged his father gently, a silent communication passing between them.

They had seen their son grow up, and the way he looked at you now was unmistakable—he was completely smitten. Lando's father gave a slight nod, acknowledging the unspoken sentiment, and they both turned their attention back to the table, content to let the evening unfold naturally.

As the meal progressed, the warmth and love in the room seemed to envelop you, making you feel like part of the family. Each bite of the delicious food was savored, accompanied by light-hearted conversation and laughter.

You couldn't help but steal glances at Lando, who seemed equally enchanted by your presence. Lando’s hand would occasionally brush against yours as he passed you a dish or refilled your glass, each touch a silent promise of his feelings.

His parents watched these moments with quiet satisfaction, feeling a sense of peace knowing their son was in good hands.

"So, what do you think of doing for this summer break?" Cisca asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

You paused, glancing at Lando for a moment before answering. "Well, we were thinking of going to the beach tomorrow," you said, your voice filled with excitement. "It's been ages since we've had a proper beach day."

Cisca's face lit up with enthusiasm. "That sounds wonderful! The weather has been perfect for it lately. You should take the opportunity to relax and enjoy yourselves."

Lando nodded in agreement, his eyes meeting yours as he said, "Yeah, I think it'll be a great way to unwind and make some fun memories."

His father chimed in, "Just make sure to pack plenty of sunscreen and stay hydrated."

The conversation continued with everyone suggesting their favorite beach activities and reminiscing about past vacations, making the anticipation for tomorrow even sweeter.

As the plates were cleared away and everyone settled back into their chairs, the conversation flowed seamlessly from topic to topic.

Lando's mother recounted a particularly amusing story from one of their family beach trips, causing everyone to burst into laughter.

“And that’s how your father ended up with a sunburn in the shape of a lobster,” she finished, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

Lando grinned, adding, “I remember that! He had to wear that ridiculous hat for the rest of the trip.”

His father chuckled, shaking his head. “Hey, it was either that or turn into a tomato again.” The room filled with laughter once more, the camaraderie palpable.

You felt a sense of belonging, grateful for the warmth and openness of Lando's family. It was clear that tomorrow's beach outing would be just the start of many cherished memories to come.

As the laughter began to die down, you glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed how late it had become.

"Lando, you should think about heading to bed," you said softly, turning to him with concern in your eyes. "You didn't sleep at all last night, remember?"

Lando stretched, stifling a yawn as he nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I could use some rest before our big day tomorrow."

His parents exchanged knowing looks, their smiles tender. "Get some sleep, son," his father said, patting Lando on the back. "We want you to be able to enjoy the beach without nodding off in the sand."

"Good night, guys," you said, standing up and stretching. "I think I'll head to bed as well." You noticed the subtle exchange of glances between Lando's parents and figured they might want a moment alone with him.

"Lando, about Y/N," Adam started as soon as you left the room.

"What about her?" Lando asked curiously, his brow furrowed slightly.

Adam exchanged a quick glance with his wife before continuing, "How do you feel about her? We can see there's something special between you two."

Lando hesitated for a moment, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "She's amazing," he finally said, a soft smile playing on his lips.

"I feel really comfortable around her, like I've known her forever. She's just...different, in a good way. I guess I really like her."

His parents nodded, their smiles growing wider. "We thought so," his mother said gently. "Just remember to be honest with her and yourself. Relationships are built on trust and communication."

"Also, put a ring on it before someone else does," Cisca teased, winking at her son.

Lando's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, and he laughed nervously. "Mom, it's a bit early for that, don't you think?" he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "We're just getting to know each other right now."

His father chuckled, shaking his head. "Your mother's just looking out for you, son. But she's right about one thing—don't let a good thing slip away. If you really care about her, make sure she knows it."

Lando nodded thoughtfully, appreciating the advice. "I will, Dad. Thanks."

With one last glance at his parents, he turned and headed to his room, feeling hopeful about the future. . . .

You woke up late to being the first one awake. The sun was already shining brightly outside, casting a warm glow over the room.

You slowly sat up, feeling the drowsiness slowly fade away as you inhaled the aromatic scent of freshly brewed coffee.

As you walked over to the kitchen counter, you heard a faint sound behind you.

Startled, you turned around to see Lando standing just a few feet away, a wide grin on his face. He had snuck up behind you, making you jump at his voice.

"Good morning! I hope you didn't mind me sneaking up on you," Lando said, his voice filled with laughter.

"Oh, Lando! You scared me! But it's okay, I'm glad you decided to join me," you said, feeling a warmth spreading through your chest.

Lando walked closer, his eyes shining with excitement. "I couldn't miss the chance to spend another day with you," he said, his voice sincere.

You couldn't help but smile at his words. "I'm glad too, Lando. Today, we have big plans, right?"

Lando's eyes widened. "Oh, yes! We're going to the beach!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with anticipation.

You nodded in agreement, excitement bubbling within you as well. "That's right! I thought we could have some fun building sandcastles and maybe go for a swim later."

Lando nodded eagerly. "That sounds like a great idea! I just love the ocean, it always puts me at ease."

As the two of you continued talking, you watched as Lando went about making his coffee, his movements fluid and graceful.

Lando's hair was tousled, a clear sign that he had just rolled out of bed. Despite the disarray, there was something endearing about his bed hair, giving him a boyish charm that made you smile.

His eyes, though slightly shadowed by remnants of drowsiness, sparkled with a warmth and energy that was unmistakable. The way the morning light played on his features highlighted the gentle curve of his jawline and the subtle freckles dotting his cheeks.

As he moved around the kitchen, you noticed the relaxed posture he carried, a testament to his easygoing nature. Even in his half-awake state, Lando managed to exude a kind of grace that was both captivating and comforting.

His casual attire—a simple t-shirt and shorts—added to the laid-back vibe of the morning, making the moment feel even more serene. You found yourself appreciating these small, intimate details, realizing how much they contributed to the special bond you shared with him.

"So, Lando, what do you want to build out of sand?" you said even though you knew the answer, taking a sip of your coffee.

Lando smiled, his eyes twinkling. "I want to build an McLaren,"

You couldn't help but feel a surge of adoration for the man. "I knew you were going to say that, but your last sand car looked amazing," you said, your voice filled with admiration.

Lando blushed slightly, a modest smile spreading across his face. "Well, thank you," he said, his voice filled with gratitude.

As you and Lando finished your drinks, you both stood up and headed to your own bedrooms to dress for beach day.

You changed into a pretty bikini, feeling the sun's warm rays on your skin as you stepped into the bedroom. The vibrant colors of the bikini complemented your skin tone perfectly, making you feel confident and ready for the day ahead.

The snug fit accentuated your curves, while the delicate straps added a touch of elegance to the overall look. As you adjusted the top, you couldn't help but notice how the design highlighted your shoulders and collarbone, giving you an effortlessly chic appearance.

Standing in front of the mirror, you admired the way the bikini hugged your body in all the right places. The fabric was soft and comfortable, allowing you to move freely without any restrictions.

You felt a sense of excitement bubbling within you, eager to join Lando on the beach and create unforgettable memories together.

With a final glance in the mirror, you grabbed a light cover-up and slipped on your sandals, ready to embrace the adventures that awaited you by the ocean.

When you stepped out of your bedroom, Lando's eyes widened with admiration. "Wow, you look incredible," he said, his voice filled with genuine awe. His appreciative gaze and warm smile made your heart flutter, adding to the anticipation of the day ahead.

Lando stepped out of his room, his toned and sculpted physique on full display as he changed into a pair of sleek swimming trunks. His broad shoulders and chiselled chest were a testament to his dedication in the gym, each muscle group clearly defined beneath his sun-kissed skin.

As he walked around the house, his powerful legs carried him with an effortless grace, the defined quadriceps and calves rippling with every step.

Lando's narrow waist and sharp hip bones accentuated his V-shaped torso, giving him an air of athletic prowess and masculine allure.

Your eyes were naturally drawn to Lando's striking facial features - his strong, angular jawline, piercing eyes, and neatly trimmed beard only added to his undeniable charisma and rugged good looks.

It was clear that Lando took great pride in maintaining his physique, and the end result was an incredibly attractive and impressive sight to behold.

"You ready?" Lando asked after packing all you two needed for the beach. His voice was warm and filled with excitement, matching the gleam in his eyes.

You nodded enthusiastically, grabbing the bag filled with towels, sunscreen, and other essentials.

"Absolutely," you replied with a smile, feeling a rush of anticipation for the day ahead.

Both of you left Lando's parents' home, the golden rays shining brightly over the beach. You and Lando carried all the chairs and equipment down the sandy path, the feeling of excitement growing with each passing step.

When you finally arrived at the shore, you spread out the chairs and arranged them in a comfortable spot, not too far from the waves.

Lando set down the last of the beach gear and looked up just as you finished applying sunscreen to your arms and legs. He smiled appreciatively at the sight of you so effortlessly preparing for the day ahead.

"Do you need help with the sunscreen?" you asked, holding up the bottle with a playful grin.

"Actually, I could use a hand with my back," Lando admitted, turning around and giving you a perfect view of his toned muscles.

You stepped closer, squeezing some sunscreen onto your hands before gently rubbing it onto his shoulders and back. His skin was warm from the sun, and you couldn't help but notice how smooth and strong it felt beneath your fingers.

"Thanks," he said, glancing back at you with a grateful smile. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"No problem," you replied, your fingers working to ensure every inch of his skin was protected. "Can't have you turning into a lobster, can we?"

You both laughed, the easy camaraderie and shared anticipation for the day's adventures blending seamlessly with the natural beauty around you.

After setting up everything, you and Lando looked at each other, a mischievous glint in both your eyes. You reached for the shovel and bucket, handing them to Lando.

"Okay, Lando, show me what you've got," you said, a mischievous grin on your face.

Lando laughed, excitement bubbling within him. "Oh, get ready, because we're going to build a McLaren out of sand!" he declared, his voice filled with determination.

You watched as Lando meticulously began sculpting the sand, shaping it into intricate shapes and curves. You couldn't help but be amazed by his talent, the way he transformed the sand into a work of art.

Hours passed as you and Lando worked together, perfecting every detail of the F1 car. It was hard work, but the two of you persevered, determined to finish what you'd started.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you and Lando stood back to admire your creation. The F1 car stood tall on the sand, a testament to your combined efforts. You both broke out into laughter, the joy of the moment filling your hearts.

"Wow, Lando, you really outdid yourself," you said, your voice filled with admiration.

Lando nodded, a satisfied smile spreading across his face. "I couldn't have done it without you," he said.

You then took out your phone and snapped a few pictures of the sand car, eager to share the masterpiece on your socials. "This is definitely going to get some likes," you said, grinning as you angled for the perfect shot.

Lando struck a playful pose beside the sand McLaren, adding a touch of fun to the photos.

As you removed your beach cover-up, Lando couldn't help but notice how flawlessly the bikini accentuated your figure. The vibrant colours and delicate patterns complemented your skin tone, drawing his gaze towards the alluring curves of your body.

He found himself captivated by the way the fabric hugged your frame, highlighting your natural beauty in a tasteful and sophisticated manner.

Lando's eyes traced the contours of your body, admiring the graceful lines and the subtle movements as you adjusted your attire. The bikini top provided just the right amount of support, framing your chest in a way that was both elegant and alluring.

Meanwhile, the bottom half of the swimsuit clung to your hips, accentuating the natural shape of your legs and drawing attention to your toned physique.

Despite his best efforts to avert his gaze, Lando found himself repeatedly drawn back to the sight before him. There was an undeniable magnetism to the way you carried yourself, exuding a quiet confidence that only further heightened the captivating nature of your appearance.

He couldn't help but admire the overall harmony of the ensemble, which seemed to effortlessly highlight your natural beauty.

You both then headed into the refreshing waters of the sea, the waves lapping at your feet. The cool water provided a stark contrast to the warm sun, and you and Lando played together, splashing and laughing like carefree children.

The joy of the moment made all your efforts worthwhile, and for a while, the rest of the world seemed to fade away.

The water felt invigorating against your skin, its coolness providing a delightful respite from the sun's intense heat. Each wave that brushed against you sent a refreshing shiver through your body, awakening your senses and amplifying the joy of the moment.

The gentle embrace of the sea made you feel both energized and at peace, perfectly complementing the carefree laughter you shared with Lando.

You started to float, letting the gentle waves cradle your body as you closed your eyes and surrendered to the tranquility of the moment. The sea's rhythmic motion lulled you into a serene state, and for a brief period, you forgot all your worries.

Suddenly, you felt a hand slide under your neck, lifting your head slightly out of the water. Startled, you opened your eyes to find Lando looking down at you, his expression filled with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice tinged with worry. You could see the anxiety in his eyes, and it touched you that he cared so deeply.

Smiling softly, you reassured him, "I'm fine, just enjoying the sea."

His features relaxed, and he let out a breath of relief.

"Since when can you swim, let alone float? I remember trying to teach you so many times but it didn't work," Lando asked as he floated beside you, holding your hand so you wouldn't drift far from him. Like otters when they fall asleep.

"I took some lessons a few weeks ago," you explained, feeling a bit proud of yourself. "I knew we were going to the beach during the summer break, and I didn't want you to have to take care of me the whole time again."

You could see a flicker of surprise in Lando's eyes, followed by a warm smile that made your heart flutter.

"But I like being your lifeguard," Lando said, his voice softening as he squeezed your hand gently.

You blushed at his words, feeling the warmth of his affection wash over you more intensely than the sun's rays. "Besides, it gives me an excuse to spend more time with you."

The sincerity in his gaze melted away any lingering doubts you had, and you couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Well, I appreciate that," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, "but I think it's time I started taking care of myself, at least a little bit." You squeezed his hand in return, feeling a surge of confidence mixed with the comfort of his presence.

"And maybe now we can just enjoy the water together, without you having to worry so much."

Lando chuckled softly, the sound blending harmoniously with the waves around you. "I guess that's true," he said, his eyes sparkling with affection. "But don't think for a second that I won't still be keeping an eye on you."

He leaned in closer, his face inches from yours, and you could feel his breath on your skin. "After all, someone has to make sure you don't float away."

You laughed softly, the sound mingling with the gentle lapping of the waves. "Well, as long as you promise not to let go," you teased, feeling a playful glint in your eyes.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Lando replied, his tone serious yet tender, "You're far too important to me."

Your chest was filled with butterflies at his words, the sincerity in his voice making your heart race. It was in moments like this that you realized just how deep your feelings for Lando ran.

As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the water, you felt an unspoken promise hanging in the air between you.

You decided to take this time for a race.

"Last to the sandcar has to pack everything." You said, letting go of Lando's hand to start running early.

"You snake! That's cheating!" Lando called, taking off through the shallow water.

The two of you played and splashed, the warm sun beaming down as you revelled in the joy of the moment. Lando tackled you into the waves, sending you both tumbling in a fit of giggles.

"I win!" you declared, emerging from the water with a triumphant grin.

"Oh, is that so?" he challenged, splashing you once more. "I think we both know who the real champion is here."

"We could settle this with a game of beach volleyball," you suggested, nodding towards the net set up near the sandcar. "First one to ten points wins, and the loser has to pack everything up."

Lando's eyes lit up with excitement as he agreed. "You're on! But don't cry when I beat you," he teased, already making his way towards the net.

The game was filled with laughter and friendly competition, each of you determined to claim victory. The sound of the ball bouncing on the sand, mixed with your playful banter, created an atmosphere of pure joy.

As the score climbed higher, you could feel the tension rising, both of you giving it your all. Finally, with a well-placed spike, you secured the winning point, collapsing onto the sand in a fit of laughter.

"Looks like you’re on packing duty, Lando!" you exclaimed, your chest heaving with exhilaration.

Lando let out an exaggerated groan, flopping dramatically onto the sand beside you. "You got lucky," he said with a playful pout, though his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"But a deal's a deal—I guess I'll start packing," he added, giving you a mock salute before getting up with a grin.

As you watched him clean, you picked up your beach cover-up and slipped it on, feeling the cool fabric against your sun-warmed skin. Just then, you noticed a man walking over to you with a friendly smile.

He was tall and athletic, with skin the color of rich mahogany that glistened under the afternoon sun. His dreadlocks were neatly styled, cascading down to his shoulders like a waterfall of dark, twisted ropes.

He wore a simple white tank top that highlighted his muscular build and a pair of colorful board shorts that hinted at a vibrant personality. Around his neck hung a pendant, which caught the light and sparkled as he approached.

His smile was warm and inviting, contrasting with the intensity of his deep brown eyes that seemed to hold a world of stories.

"Hey there," he greeted, his voice carrying a hint of curiosity.

"My name is Jordan, and I'm part of a model agency. We're looking for beautiful women to participate in a modeling project for two weeks. Of course, you get paid generously," Jordan explained, his eyes scanning the beach scene before settling back on you with a hopeful expression.

You blinked in surprise, glancing over at Lando who was still packing up the beach gear.

"Modeling? That sounds interesting," you responded, trying to hide your excitement. "What kind of project is it?"

Jordan's smile widened. "It's a beachwear campaign, perfect for someone like you who clearly enjoys the sun and sand. We're looking for fresh faces and natural beauty, and I think you would be a great fit. If you're interested, I can give you more details and set up a meeting with our team," he offered, extending a business card towards you.

You hesitated for a moment, glancing down at the business card in Jordan's hand before taking it with a smile. "That sounds like an amazing opportunity," you said, your voice laced with excitement.

"I've never done any modeling before, but I'd love to give it a try. When and where is the meeting?"

Jordan's eyes lit up with approval as he responded, "Great! The meeting is tomorrow afternoon at our local office just a few blocks from here. We can go over all the details, and you'll get to meet the rest of the team. Don't worry; we'll guide you through everything. Just bring yourself and that radiant smile. See you then?"

You nodded eagerly, feeling a blend of nerves and anticipation.

"Y/N! Who's that?" you heard Lando yell from a distance, his voice filled with curiosity.

You turned back to Jordan with a slight laugh, "That's Lando, my best friend."

Jordan chuckled, "You can bring your little friend if you want to," he said, winking before leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You waved back at Lando, who was now walking over. "Who was that?" he repeated, curiosity evident in his tone.

"That was Jordan," you explained, holding up the business card. "He's from a modeling agency and offered me a chance to be part of a beachwear campaign. Can you believe it?"

Lando raised an eyebrow, glancing between you and the business card. "Modeling, huh? That sounds pretty cool. Are you going to do it?"

"I think so," you replied, excitement bubbling in your voice. "The meeting is tomorrow afternoon. He even said I could bring you along if I wanted. What do you think?"

Lando grinned, giving you a reassuring nod. "Why not? It sounds like an amazing opportunity. Plus, I'd love to see you in action. Let's go check it out together."

You grinned at him before giving him a hug, feeling a wave of gratitude for his unwavering support. "Thanks, Lando. I don't know what I'd do without you," you said, squeezing him tightly.

As you both started walking back to the car, you couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement for what tomorrow might bring.

Lando glanced back over his shoulder to see Jordan disappearing into the crowd, a flicker of suspicion crossing his face. "I just hope he's legit," Lando muttered under his breath, his protective instincts kicking in.

"Don't worry, I'll be there to make sure everything goes smoothly," he added, giving you a reassuring smile as he opened the car door for you. . . .

You and Lando came back from the beach and were greeted by Lando's parents who were busy cooking dinner.

"So how was the beach?" Cisca asked, looking up from chopping vegetables. You could see the curiosity in her eyes as she waited for your response.

"You won't believe it! I got picked to be in a modeling program!" you said excitedly, barely able to contain your joy.

Lando's parents paused their cooking and turned their attention to you, their faces lighting up with surprise and pride. "That's amazing!" Adam exclaimed. "Tell us all about it!"

Without hesitation, you launched into the story, recounting every detail of your encounter with Jordan. "We were just walking along the beach when this guy approached me out of nowhere," you began, your hands gesturing animatedly.

"He introduced himself as Jordan from a modeling agency, and he said I had the perfect look for their upcoming beachwear campaign. He handed me his business card and invited me to a meeting tomorrow afternoon."

Cisca and Adam exchanged delighted glances. "That's incredible!" Cisca said, her eyes shining with pride.

"But, are you sure it's safe?" Adam asked, his tone shifting to one of concern.

"Lando's going to come with me," you reassured them, glancing over at Lando, who nodded in agreement.

"We'll make sure everything checks out. I just can't believe this opportunity came out of nowhere!" you added, your excitement bubbling over once again.

As you spoke about Jordan, Lando's parents noticed a hint of jealousy brewing within their son.

Cisca decided to tease her son by asking you more about Jordan.

"Who did you say gave you the card? Jordan was it?" She said innocently, earning a glance from her son.

"Yes, Jordan," you confirmed, your mind drifting back to the encounter. "He was tall, with dark hair and these piercing brown eyes. He had this confident yet approachable aura about him. Honestly, he looked like he could be a model himself."

Lando coughed subtly, but Cisca wasn't done. "And did he mention how he got into the modeling industry?" she asked, her tone teasing but genuinely curious.

"Oh, he did," you replied eagerly. "He told me he started as a photographer and slowly transitioned into scouting talent. He seemed really passionate about his work."

Lando shifted uncomfortably, but before he could say anything, Adam chimed in, "Well, it's great that Lando will be there with you. He'll make sure everything is on the up and up."

With each passing word, Lando's jealousy grew stronger, although he tried his best to hide it.

"I should get my skincare started before tomorrow, I need to go. Night, guys," you said, heading to your room with a cheerful wave. Cisca and Adam gave you warm goodnights, but Lando remained silent, his expression unreadable.

Once you were out of earshot, Cisca turned to her son with a knowing smile. "Lando, you know you don't have anything to worry about, right?" she teased gently.

"I'm not worried," Lando replied a bit too quickly, his eyes darting away.

Adam chuckled, patting his son's back. "It's natural to feel a bit protective, but trust her instincts. Besides, you'll be there to make sure everything is fine.

Lando nodded reluctantly, still trying to shake off the uneasy feeling that had settled in his chest.

Cisca's smile turned mischievous, and she leaned in closer to her son. "You know, if you don't prioritize her, someone like Jordan might just sweep her off her feet," she teased, raising an eyebrow.

Lando's eyes widened slightly, and he looked at his mother, a mix of annoyance and concern flickering across his face.

"Mom, that's not funny," he muttered, crossing his arms defensively.

Cisca chuckled and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm just saying, Lando, don't take her for granted. She's a catch, and you need to show her how much she means to you."

Lando sighed deeply, his eyes finally meeting his mother's. "It's not that simple, Mom. I'm scared of ruining what we have. She's my best friend, and if I tell her how I really feel and she doesn't feel the same... I don't think I could handle losing her," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

Cisca's expression softened, and she squeezed his shoulder gently.

"Lando," she said softly, "sometimes the greatest risks bring the greatest rewards. If you truly care about her, she deserves to know. And who knows? She might feel the same way but is just as scared as you are. Trust in what you have, and believe in her as much as you believe in yourself."

Lando nodded slowly, taking his mother's words to heart, though the fear of the unknown still lingered in his mind.

Adam sensing his son's vulnerability, added, "Lando, your friendship with you and Y/N will always be our priority. We would never do anything to jeopardize that. Trust in our love and support."

Lando took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "I do love her, Mom. So much that it hurts sometimes. But there are moments when I feel like I don’t deserve her. She's confident, smart, and kind, and I’m just... me," he admitted, his voice wavering.

"What if she realises she deserves someone better, someone who isn't scared all the time?"

Cisca's eyes filled with empathy as she listened to her son's heartfelt confession. "Lando, you are more than enough. Everyone has insecurities, but it's how you deal with them that matters. She loves you for who you are, not for who you think you need to be."

Lando swallowed hard, trying to absorb his mother's comforting words. "But what if I'm not ready to face my fears? What if I mess things up because I'm too scared to take the leap?" he asked, his voice trembling with uncertainty.

Cisca gave him a warm, reassuring smile. "Lando, it's normal to feel scared when you're about to make a big decision, especially one that involves your heart. But you have to trust that your feelings for her are real and that they're worth fighting for."

"So what time are you free, Miss Y/N?" Jordan asked, glancing up from his computer screen to meet her eyes.

Y/N smiled, trying to sound confident before looking at Lando for confirmation of the time. "I'm free from 1 PM."

"Okay, that's good," Jordan replied, nodding his head.

"Now let me explain what will be happening over these two weeks. You will be modeling different topics inspired by various artworks. Each session will be designed to bring out a unique aspect of your style and personality. You'll have makeup artists and photographers to take care of you, so all you need to do is be there and give it your best."

Y/N glanced at Lando once more, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves bubbling up inside her. "That sounds amazing, Jordan. Thank you for the opportunity. I'm looking forward to it," you said, your voice steady despite the butterflies in your stomach.

Lando gave you an encouraging smile, his earlier doubts momentarily forgotten as he watched the confident and poised woman he loved prepare to embark on this new adventure.

Jordan continued, "Great! Each session will last about three hours, so make sure you're well-rested and prepared. We'll start with a briefing each morning to outline the day's theme and goals. If you have any ideas or specific looks you want to try, feel free to share them with the team."

Y/N nodded, her excitement growing with each detail. "That sounds perfect, Jordan. I'll be ready to give it my all."

Lando felt a surge of pride and admiration as he watched Y/N embrace the opportunity with such enthusiasm. He reached out and gently squeezed her hand, offering silent support.

"You're going to be amazing," he whispered, his eyes filled with unwavering confidence in her abilities.

"Thanks, Lando," you said, your voice tinged with hope. "You'll be with me the whole time, right?" you asked, looking up at him with wide, expectant eyes.

"Of course," Lando replied without hesitation, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. "Wherever you go, I go. I wouldn't miss this for anything."

His words wrapped around you like a comforting embrace, making you feel invincible. With Lando by your side, you knew you could face whatever challenges came your way during these two weeks.

"Thanks, Jordan. I'll see you tomorrow," you said, filling out all the forms before standing up. Lando closely followed, his presence a steady anchor in the whirlwind of new information and upcoming challenges.

As you handed the completed forms back to Jordan, you couldn't help but feel a surge of determination.

"Remember, if you have any questions or need anything, don't hesitate to reach out," Jordan assured you with a warm smile. "We're all here to make this experience as fulfilling as possible for you."

"Got it, Jordan. I appreciate it," you replied, feeling a sense of camaraderie already forming with the team.

Lando placed a reassuring hand on your back as you both made your way to the exit, ready to tackle the exciting journey together. . . .

The first day was amazing. There were more models just like you, and you were able to meet your entire team.

Sarah was your makeup artist, and she had an incredible job of making you look camera-ready.

She had a striking appearance that immediately caught your eye. Her short, platinum blonde hair framed her angular face perfectly, giving her a modern and edgy look. Her high cheekbones were accentuated with just a hint of blush, and her almond-shaped green eyes sparkled with an intensity that conveyed both professionalism and warmth.

A small, silver nose ring added a touch of rebellion to her otherwise polished look, and her full lips were painted a deep shade of red, completing her striking visage.

As she worked, you couldn't help but notice the precise and delicate movements of her hands. Her slender fingers moved with the confidence and grace of someone who had years of experience in the industry.

Despite her somewhat intimidating appearance, Sarah's demeanor was incredibly kind and approachable. She spoke to you in a soothing voice, offering tips and encouraging words as she meticulously applied each layer of makeup.

Her ability to balance such a bold personal style with a gentle and supportive personality made her an instant favorite for you among the team.

Tom, the photographer, was incredibly friendly and would make you feel comfortable in front of the camera.

He also had a laid-back, artistic vibe that made him instantly approachable. He wore a simple black beanie over his tousled brown hair, which always seemed to fall perfectly into place.

His casual attire—consisting of a well-worn graphic tee and distressed jeans—contrasted with the high-fashion environment, but it suited him perfectly. His blue eyes were keen and observant, always catching the perfect moment through the lens, and his perpetual smile added a sense of ease to every photoshoot.

Everyone on set was so welcoming and eager to help you succeed.

As you walked onto the set, you were immediately struck by the energy and excitement in the air. The other models were all friendly and supportive, and you quickly bonded over their shared experience.

Sarah greeted you with a warm smile and got to work on your makeup, transforming you into a polished and professional-looking model.

"So, do you have any experience in modeling before?" Sarah asked curiously as she blended the foundation seamlessly into your skin.

"No, never," you replied with a nervous laugh, "I don't even know why I got picked to be in this."

Sarah's eyes softened as she gave you an encouraging smile. "Everyone starts somewhere, and you have a natural look that's perfect for the camera. Trust me, you'll do great."

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you," you replied, feeling a bit more at ease. "Do you have any tips for someone who's just starting out?"

Sarah nodded thoughtfully. "Absolutely. Keep your posture strong and your expressions natural. The camera loves authenticity, so just be yourself and enjoy the moment."

There was a moment of silence before Sarah decided to speak again. "Is the guy you came in with your boyfriend?" she asked, referring to Lando.

You glanced at Lando from the mirror and saw he was busy talking to some girls.

The girls surrounding Lando had blonde hair and pale skin, their model-shaped bodies making you envious. They laughed at his every word, their flirtatious giggles echoing through the studio.

You couldn't help but notice how Lando's eyes sparkled when he was with them, a clear sign of his preference.

Wasn't it obvious that they were exactly his type? You sighed internally, knowing deep down that you could never be what he wanted.

A pang of jealousy hit you, but you quickly masked it with a smile.

As you glanced back at Lando, laughing and charming everyone around him, you couldn't help but wonder if you'd ever be more than just a friend in his eyes.

Could you ever be the one to capture his attention the way those girls did, or were you destined to remain in the background?

"No, we're just friends," you said, hiding your feelings.

Sarah raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the story. "Just friends, huh? Well, he seems pretty protective of you. Sometimes, the best relationships start as friendships."

You shrugged, trying to keep your emotions in check. "Maybe. But for now, I'm just focusing on getting through this shoot without tripping over my own feet."

Sarah chuckled and gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be just fine. And who knows? Maybe by the end of the day, you'll have more clarity about everything."

As Sarah finished the last touches, Tom approached with a reassuring grin.

"Hey there, ready for your close-up?" he asked, his blue eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.

"Honestly, I'm a bit nervous," you admitted, shifting slightly in your seat.

"Don't worry," Tom said, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. "We'll take it step by step. Just be yourself, and we'll capture some amazing shots together. You're going to be fantastic!"

Tom was a true professional. He gave clear instructions and made you feel at ease, even when you were a little nervous in front of the camera. He had a keen eye for detail and was able to capture your best angles, helping you look and feel your best.

When Tom finally showed you the first set of photos, you were blown away. "Is that really me?" you asked, your eyes widening in disbelief as you looked at the stunning images on the screen.

The transformation was incredible, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. "Absolutely," Tom replied with a grin. "You did fantastic. These are some of the best shots we've taken today."

You turned to Lando, who was standing nearby, and showed him the photos. "Look at these, Lando. I can't believe it."

He looked over your shoulder, his face lighting up with a proud smile. "I told you, you're amazing and you look beautiful," Lando said, his voice filled with genuine admiration. "I knew you had it in you."

You blushed at his words, feeling a warmth spread through your cheeks. "Thank you, Lando," you said softly, glancing down at the floor for a moment before meeting his eyes again.

Sarah gave you a knowing look, a smirk playing on her lips. "See? Sometimes, others see what we can't see in ourselves," she remarked, her eyes twinkling.

"And it looks like someone else sees it too," she added, nodding subtly in Lando's direction.

You laughed softly, feeling a mix of gratitude and embarrassment at the attention.

"I couldn't have done it without all of your support. This whole team is incredible."

Lando chuckled, giving you a playful nudge. "Well, we knew you had it in you from the start. Just keep doing what you're doing, and you'll go far."

You nodded, feeling a renewed sense of confidence. "I will. With a team like this, how could I not?" You both laughed, the bond between you and your new colleagues growing stronger with each passing moment.

"Wow Y/N, is that you?" Jordan's voice echoed into the room as he approached, his eyes widening in surprise at the photos.

You smiled warmly, pleased by his reaction, while out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Lando's smile falter slightly, though no one else seemed to catch it.

"Yeah, it is," you replied, trying to keep the mood light. "Tom here worked his magic." Jordan nodded appreciatively, glancing between you and the photos. "Well, you look absolutely stunning. Seriously, these are just incredible."

"Thanks, Jordan," you said, feeling the support of your team even as you sensed a subtle tension in the air.

"Hey boss, I knew you had a good eye for beauty, you really picked a good one," Sarah said to Jordan, her voice teasing yet sincere.

Jordan laughed, placing an arm around your shoulders. "I knew it too, a rare beauty she is," he said, his tone filled with genuine pride.

You couldn't help but blush again, feeling both flattered and slightly overwhelmed by the attention. "Thanks, everyone. It really means a lot," you said, your voice a bit shaky but heartfelt.

Lando stood nearby, his expression now more composed, though you could still sense a hint of something unspoken in his eyes.

"Alright, let's keep this momentum going," he finally said, his voice steady. "We've got a lot more to capture today."

The team nodded in agreement, the energy in the room lifting as you all prepared for the next set of shots.

The room buzzed with excitement and focused energy as everyone moved into position. Lights were adjusted, cameras were checked, and the hum of whispered conversations filled the air.

Despite the earlier tension, the camaraderie among the team members was palpable, creating an atmosphere of mutual support and enthusiasm.

You then headed to the dressing room to change into a beautiful dress that complemented your skin tone perfectly. The dress was a rich, deep color that seemed to enhance your natural glow, and as you slipped it on, you couldn't help but feel a surge of confidence.

You took a moment to admire your reflection, appreciating how the fabric flowed gracefully and accentuated your features.

Tom's keen eye for styling had truly outdone itself.

Returning to the set, the collective gaze of your colleagues turned towards you, their eyes lighting up with admiration.

"Wow, you look absolutely stunning," Sarah exclaimed, her earlier teasing replaced with genuine awe.

Even Lando's guarded expression softened as he gave you a nod of approval. The atmosphere shifted, becoming even more charged with positive energy and anticipation for the work ahead.

As you took your practiced position, you felt the support and encouragement of your team, ready to capture the magic that was about to unfold. . . .

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liked by landonorris, mclaren, y/nbestie, and 3,612,937 others.

tagged; vogue

yourusername: One minute I was enjoying summer break, the next minute I'm modeling for a big company! Feeling incredibly grateful for this amazing opportunity and the wonderful team that made today unforgettable. Their support and encouragement transformed every moment into a magical experience. From the adrenaline rush of the camera clicks to the warmth of shared laughter, this journey has been nothing short of incredible. Here's to many more moments of creativity, camaraderie, and capturing beauty in all its forms.

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Lando sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Max, I don't know what to do, man. Every time I see her, I just—it's like my brain stops working."

Max chuckled, his face lighting up the screen. "Mate, you're actually down bad. You're totally whipped. It's hilarious to watch, honestly."

Lando groaned, leaning closer to the camera. "Thanks for the support, really. But seriously, any advice? I can't keep acting like a nervous wreck around her."

Max leaned back, a mischievous grin on his face. "Just be yourself, Lando. She's already into you, even if she doesn't know it yet. Confidence is key, mate. And maybe, you know, actually tell her how you feel?"

"You're just saying that because you already have a girlfriend," Lando said, rolling his eyes. "It's easy for you to give advice when you're not the one stuttering like an idiot every time she walks into the room."

Max's grin widened. "True, but that's how I got my girlfriend in the first place. I stopped overthinking and just went for it. Trust me, Lando, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Besides, the worst that can happen is she says no, and from what I can see, that's highly unlikely."

Before Lando could reply, he heard your voice calling from downstairs, "Lando, are you ready to go?" Panic flashed across his face for a moment as he scrambled to end the call.

"Uh, gotta go, Max. Thanks for the pep talk," he muttered hastily before disconnecting. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair, and made his way downstairs.

Seeing you waiting at the bottom, looking effortlessly radiant, he felt his nerves kick up again.

As he reached the bottom, you greeted him with a bright smile. "Hey, you look great!" you said, your eyes sparkling with genuine warmth.

Lando's nerves seemed to melt away at your words, and he found himself smiling back. "Thanks, you look beautiful as well," he replied, his voice steadying. "Shall we?"

It's already been a week since the modelling project began, and while you were clearly thriving, Lando was feeling increasingly frustrated. Every time he tried to catch a moment alone with you, there was always something—another shoot, a meeting, or some other distraction.

How was he supposed to ask you out when you were both constantly busy?

The few times you did get back home early, you were so exhausted that you barely had the energy to keep your eyes open, let alone have a meaningful conversation. Lando couldn't help but wonder if this was even the right time to make a move.

What if you were too focused on your career to notice his feelings? Was he just setting himself up for disappointment by hoping for a perfect moment that might never come?

The weight of these thoughts pressed heavily on his mind as he opened the door for you, determined to find a way to break through the barriers that seemed to keep you apart.

The theme for this second week was love, which meant you had to be partnered with the opposite sex or the sex you're attracted to.

The theme of love for the photoshoot is meant to capture the essence of being loved or loving someone through a powerful visual representation. The goal is to create images that evoke the deep emotions and connections associated with love.

In the first stage, the photographs should convey a sense of warmth, comfort, and security. They could showcase the gentle embrace of a couple, the tender gaze shared between two individuals, or the simple act of holding hands - all of which communicate the feeling of being cherished and accepted.

The second stage should focus on the photographs that depict the passion and intensity of love. These images might feature couples gazing into each other's eyes with an unspoken desire, or caught in a moment of playful, intimate interaction. The aim is to capture the vibrant, all-consuming nature of love that ignites the senses.

You were partnered with a young boy called Marcus, who seemed to have a knack for making everyone around him laugh. As you both prepared for the next shoot, Marcus turned to you, grinning.

"You know, Lando's been looking pretty restless lately. Think he might have a crush on someone?" He winked exaggeratedly, causing you to laugh.

"Oh, Marcus, stop being silly," you replied, though a blush crept up your cheeks. "Lando and I are just friends."

"Really? Because the way he's staring at me makes me think he wants to kill me," Marcus joked, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

You couldn't help but laugh at his theatrics, but a part of you wondered if there was some truth in his words. Lando had been acting differently lately, more reserved and distant, yet his eyes always seemed to find yours across the room.

"Maybe he's just stressed about the shoot," you suggested, trying to dismiss the flutter in your chest.

Marcus raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Stressed? Or maybe he's just jealous?" he teased, nudging you playfully.

You shook your head, but the thought stayed with you, making you more aware of Lando's presence and the unspoken tension between you two.

Lando had become quieter, often lost in thought, and his usual easygoing demeanor seemed replaced by something more intense. He would catch your eye during team meetings, holding your gaze a moment longer than necessary, and his subtle glances were filled with unspoken questions.

Even his interactions with others had changed; he was more curt and less engaged, almost as if his focus was always drawn back to you, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

You decided you would talk to him about it when you got the time, but for now, you had to focus on the photoshoot. The next session was crucial, and you couldn't afford any distractions.

As you adjusted to your position on the set and faced Marcus for the next photo, you couldn't help but feel Lando's eyes on you, adding an extra layer of intensity to the already charged atmosphere.

Lando's behavior was undeniably affecting your concentration. Each time you felt his gaze, a wave of nervous energy surged through you, making it difficult to maintain your usual composure.

The tension was palpable, and you couldn't shake the feeling that this unspoken connection might either elevate your performance to new heights or completely unravel your focus.

You weren't able to talk to him properly in the ride home because you fell asleep in the car and then you woke up the next day.

The drive home from the event had been long and tiring. You had spent the entire day posing and socialising, and by the time you got into the car, you could barely keep your eyes open.

As the car pulled out of the parking lot, you felt your eyelids grow heavy, and before you knew it, you had drifted off to sleep.

When you finally opened your eyes, the car was parked in the driveway, and the sun was peeking through the curtains.

You had completely missed the ride home and the opportunity to continue your conversation with Lando. Feeling disappointed, you made a mental note to reach out today and pick up where you had left off.

As you got ready for the day, you couldn't help but replay the events of the previous evening in your mind. You had been looking forward to spending more time with him, and the missed opportunity weighed heavily on you.

As you stumbled into the kitchen, you were greeted by the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

Lando was already awake, sitting at the table with a cup in hand, his eyes lifting to meet yours as you entered the room.

"Morning," he greeted, a small but warm smile playing on his lips.

"Morning," you replied, feeling a mix of relief and anticipation. He had already prepared a cup for you, which you gratefully accepted.

"Thanks for the coffee," you said, taking a sip and feeling the warmth spread through you. There was a brief silence as you both sipped your drinks, and then you took a deep breath.

"About yesterday... I feel like there's something we need to talk about."

You could see him freeze at your words. "Really? Um, not now. You're going to be late for work," he said, making an excuse as he glanced at the clock on the wall.

His sudden shift in demeanor made you hesitate, but you knew this conversation was important, and you couldn't let it slide.

"I understand, but this is something that can't wait," you insisted gently, setting your cup down on the table.

"We need to clear the air, Lando. It's been affecting me, and I think it's affecting you too."

His eyes softened slightly, and he nodded, realizing that delaying the conversation wouldn't make the tension disappear.

His eyes widened at your words, but he nodded slowly. "I promise, when we get time, we'll talk," he said, his voice softer now.

"I just want us to be in the right mind space for it. I know it’s important, and I don’t want to rush through it before work."

You appreciated his honesty and the promise of a future conversation, but the weight on your chest remained.

"I understand," you replied, giving him a small smile. "But remember, Lando, we can’t keep pushing this aside. It’s something we both need to address sooner rather than later."

He gave a reassuring nod and squeezed your hand briefly before you both continued with your morning routines, the unspoken words lingering in the air before leaving the house.

You thought you would talk today, but that wasn't true.

As soon as Lando brought you back home from work, he immediately left, saying he had to go check out a new sim practice.

You knew it was an excuse, and the unresolved tension gnawed at you as you watched him leave, realizing this conversation was going to be harder than you both anticipated.

You felt a mix of frustration and sadness settle over you as the door closed behind him. The avoidance only made the issue seem larger in your mind, and you couldn't help but worry about the growing distance between you.

Determined to find a way to address it, you resolved to bring it up again tomorrow, no matter how difficult it might be. . . .

──── ⋆★⋆ ──── ･｡ﾟ☆ : *. ☽ .* : ☆ﾟ. ──── ⋆★⋆ ────

Yesterday was a fail, and you felt the distance between you and Lando only widening. As you immersed yourself more deeply in your modeling career, you found solace in the creative process, even as it distracted you from the unresolved issues at home.

Meanwhile, Lando seemed to be filling the void by engaging more with the girls around him, their laughter and chatter a constant reminder of the growing gap in your relationship.

The contrast between your focused, solitary work and his increasingly social behavior was stark, and it left you feeling isolated and uncertain.

You couldn't help but replay the missed opportunities for conversation in your mind, each one adding to your sense of frustration. Despite your busy schedules, the silence between you both was deafening, and the lack of communication weighed heavily on your heart.

Determined not to let another day slip by without addressing the issue, you resolved to confront Lando as soon as you two returned home, knowing that continuing to avoid the conversation would only deepen the rift between you.

When you and Lando arrived at the workplace, she quickly made her way to you, "Y/N! Terrible news!"

"What happened?" you asked, a sense of dread creeping up your spine.

"Marcus got into a car accident!" Sarah exclaimed, her voice laced with worry. Your heart sank as the news hit you.

"Oh no, is he alright?" you asked, your mind racing with concern.

Sarah shook her head saying, "He's hurt and has to stay in the hospital for a week."

"Which means for this week, you'll need a new partner for the photoshoot," Sarah sighed. "We'll find you one soon, don't worry," she added, trying to reassure you.

You nodded, though your thoughts were still scattered. "Thanks, Sarah. I hope Marcus recovers quickly," you said, forcing a smile.

Thankfully the theme today was the feeling of being lovesick, which was ironically what you were feeling for Lando, so you didn't have to pretend.

As you stood on the set, you got into your position, expressing the yearning and heartache you had been experiencing through your face expression. Each picture was resonated with the depth of your emotions, as if you were pouring your very soul into this.

Everyone on the set was captivated, their eyes fixed on you, mesmerized by the raw vulnerability you displayed. You could feel the connection, the shared understanding of the pain and joy that come with being in love.

It was as if you had opened a window into your heart, and they were peering in, relating to your every movement.

As the final photoshoot faded, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Lando, your heart racing with a mix of hope and trepidation.

"Wow Y/N! You made your facial expression look so real, are you sure you haven't experienced some heartbreak recently?" Sarah joked, her eyes twinkling with a hint of curiosity.

You forced a chuckle, but your gaze betrayed you as it drifted toward Lando, who was busy reviewing the shots with Tom. "Just good acting, I guess," you replied, trying to mask the turmoil bubbling inside.

Lando glanced up at that moment, catching your eye for the briefest second before returning to the screen. The unspoken words between you felt like a chasm, growing wider with each passing day.

Jordan then came over later and accessed everyone's pictures like he always does and he was seriously impressed with yours.

"Y/N, I think you should sign yourself up to be a real model!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with genuine admiration.

You blushed, feeling a mix of pride and embarrassment. "Really? You think I'm that good?" you asked, trying to gauge if he was serious or just being polite.

"Absolutely," Jordan said firmly. "The emotion you conveyed in these shots is something I rarely see, even in seasoned professionals. You have a real talent, Y/N. Don't let it go to waste."

You smiled, a genuine one this time, appreciating his encouragement. "Thanks, Jordan. Maybe I will consider it," you replied, feeling a newfound confidence bubbling within you.

As he walked away, you threw another glance at Lando, wondering if he too had noticed the depth of your performance.

"So I was thinking of experimenting with a new style," Sarah explained, excitement dancing in her eyes. "I was thinking of copying the style of a face being covered by lipstick kisses, giving the effect of being truly loved."

"But there is one problem," she added, her tone turning slightly hesitant.

"What is it?" you asked, curiosity piqued.

"You don't have a partner to place the kisses on you," Sarah admitted, looking slightly apologetic.

You bit your lip, contemplating her words. Just then, Jordan approached, having overheard the conversation. "I could help with that," he offered, his voice steady but his eyes betraying a hint of happiness.

Your heart skipped a beat at his suggestion. "Are you sure?" you asked, trying to keep your voice even.

Jordan nodded, grinning. "Yeah, I'm sure. Let's make this shoot unforgettable."

Sarah's face fell slightly, the excitement dimming in her eyes as she processed Jordan's offer. She had secretly hoped that Lando would step up, imagining how perfect the photos could be with him as the one placing the kisses.

There was an unspoken chemistry between you and Lando that she thought would translate beautifully through the lens.

However, seeing Jordan's eager grin, she forced a smile, not wanting to dampen the mood.

"Thanks, Jordan," Sarah said, trying to sound enthusiastic. "That would be great." She glanced at Lando, who remained engrossed in his screen, seemingly oblivious to the conversation.

A pang of disappointment tugged at her heart, but she quickly shook it off.

"Alright, let's get started," she continued, clapping her hands together. "This is going to be an amazing shoot."

Unknown to you and Sarah, Lando had been listening to the entire conversation, his eyes never leaving his screen but his ears tuned in to every word. He had felt a surge of jealousy and frustration when he heard Jordan volunteer.

Lando had wanted to step up, to be the one who would place those lipstick kisses on you, but hesitation had rooted him to his seat. Now, he was annoyed at himself for not acting sooner and at Jordan for taking what he secretly desired.

As Sarah and Jordan prepared for the shoot, Lando's mind raced with conflicting emotions. He couldn't focus on his work, the images of you and Jordan together clouding his thoughts.

He clenched his jaw, feeling a wave of regret wash over him. Unable to bring himself to look at you, he stared at his screen, wishing he had the courage to tell you how he really felt.

"Okay, you just have to put lipstick on and then you kiss her all over," Sarah instructed, showing them a picture of an example on her iPad.

Jordan studied the image and nodded, his confidence unwavering. He picked up a tube of lipstick and began applying it, a playful smile forming on his lips.

As Jordan leaned in closer to you, you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin. "Ready?" he whispered, his eyes locking onto yours.

You nodded, trying to ignore the fluttering in your stomach.

Jordan then kissed just above your collarbone, and your breath hitched from the contact. The sensation was both surprising and exhilarating, sending a shiver down your spine.

You tried to stay composed, focusing on the camera and the task at hand, but the intimacy of the moment made it difficult. Sarah, ever the professional, continued to direct the shoot, her voice a steady anchor in the whirlwind of emotions swirling around you.

Lando, watching from a distance, felt his chest tighten with a mix of longing and frustration. Each kiss Jordan placed on your skin felt like a blow to his own heart. He wanted to be the one sharing that moment with you, to feel the connection he knew was there.

But instead, he was a silent spectator, his jealousy growing with each passing second.

Finally, unable to take it any longer, he stood up abruptly and walked out of the room, leaving behind a trail of unresolved feelings.

You noticed Lando's sudden departure out of the corner of your eye, and a pang of confusion and concern hit you. His abrupt exit left a tangible void in the room, distracting you momentarily from the shoot.

You couldn't help but wonder what had driven him away so suddenly, and the thought lingered in your mind, intertwining with the emotions already stirred by Jordan's closeness.

"Um, can I have a couple of minutes to myself?" you asked, glancing over to where Lando went.

The crew exchanged puzzled looks but nodded, granting you the brief reprieve you needed. As you stepped out of the room, you could feel Jordan's eyes following you, a mix of curiosity and concern etched on his face.

You found Lando in the hallway, leaning against the wall with his head bowed. "Lando, are you okay?" you asked softly, approaching him hesitantly.

He looked up, his eyes filled with a tumult of emotions. "I... I just needed a moment," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Let's talk in my dressing room," you said, taking his hand gently. He hesitated for a moment but then allowed you to lead him down the hallway.

The silence between you was heavy, filled with unspoken words and feelings. Once inside, you closed the door behind you, creating a small space of privacy amidst the chaos outside.

"Lando, what's going on?" you asked, your voice soft but insistent.

He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair before meeting your gaze. "It's just... seeing you with Jordan," he began, his voice strained. "I know it's just a shoot, but it feels real, and it hurts. I care about you more than I should, and watching him be close to you, it's driving me crazy."

The raw vulnerability in his eyes mirrored the turmoil you felt inside, making it clear that this conversation was long overdue.

"Does this have to do with the conversation we're supposed to have?" you asked gently, your voice a mixture of concern and curiosity. Lando nodded, his eyes never leaving yours.

"I've been wanting to tell you for a while now, but I didn't know how. Every time I see you with someone else, it just reminds me of how much I need to say this," he confessed, his voice trembling slightly.

You took a step closer, your heart pounding in your chest. "Lando, you can tell me anything. I care about you too," you reassured him, your hand reaching out to touch his arm.

He took another deep breath, his eyes searching yours for any hint of rejection. "I know this might complicate things, but I can't keep it to myself anymore. I love you, and seeing you with Jordan today made me realize I can't just stand by and watch. I needed you to know," he said, his voice raw with emotion.

Your heart skipped a beat as the weight of Lando's words settled over you. You felt a mix of shock, relief, and an overwhelming surge of emotion. "Lando, I..." you began, your voice catching in your throat as you tried to process his heartfelt confession.

How could Lando possibly have feelings for you? He had always been drawn to blondes with striking, model-like figures, and you were the complete opposite of that ideal.

Every time you saw him at parties or events, he was surrounded by women who fit that mold perfectly.

So why now, and why you?

Was he just saying this because he was caught up in the moment, or did he truly see something in you that you couldn't see in yourself? Your mind raced with questions, each one more incredulous than the last.

Why would he choose you when he could have anyone he wanted? Was it possible that he saw beyond the superficial, that he appreciated the depth of your connection and the moments you shared?

The thought seemed almost surreal, making you question whether this was some kind of elaborate joke or misunderstanding.

Yet, the sincerity in his eyes left little room for doubt. Did he really see something in you that he had overlooked in others? Could it be that beneath his polished exterior, he was searching for something more genuine, something real?

The questions swirled in your mind, leaving you teetering on the edge of disbelief and cautious hope.

You loved him, but you didn't know if you could believe him or not. There was something about the way he spoke, the way he looked at you, that made you want to trust him completely.

But a part of you couldn't help but wonder if he was being completely honest.

You had been hurt before, and the thought of going through that pain again was almost too much to bear. But the way he made you feel, the way he made your heart race, was something you had never experienced before.

You wanted to believe him, to give him your whole heart, but the fear of being betrayed was always lurking in the back of your mind.

"You don't have to answer right now," Lando started gently, his voice a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. "I just needed you to know how I feel. I've been holding this in for so long, and seeing you tonight, I couldn't keep it to myself any longer."

"I love you too," you blurted out, grabbing the collar of his shirt as if to anchor yourself to the moment. His eyes widened in surprise, but then they softened with a warmth that melted your lingering doubts.

"I don't know if this is real or if I'm just dreaming, but I can't deny how I feel. I'm scared, Lando, but I want to trust you. I want to believe that this, what we have, is genuine."

Lando's face lit up with a mixture of relief and joy, his eyes sparkling as he pulled you into a tight embrace. "You have no idea how much this means to me," he whispered into your ear, his voice trembling with emotion.

"I promise you, I'll do everything I can to prove that this is real."

"How about you kiss me first?" you teased, your voice barely above a whisper.

Lando didn't hesitate for a second. His lips met yours with a fervor that sent a shiver down your spine, as if he was pouring every ounce of his feelings into that single moment.

The world around you faded, leaving only the sensation of his warmth and the certainty that, for now, this was where you both belonged.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and hearts pounding, Lando cupped your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours for any trace of doubt. "Was that convincing enough?" he asked, a playful twinkle in his eyes.

You nodded, unable to find the words to describe the tumult of emotions swirling within you.

"But what about those girls at the club in Belgium, or the girls here?" you muttered, the insecurity evident in your voice.

Lando giggled softly, shaking his head. "The girls at the club came over to ask if you were my girlfriend because I was staring at you the whole time while DJing," he explained, his eyes never leaving yours. "And I was talking to the girls here because I wanted to find a model agency for you to do this full-time since you look so happy doing this now."

You felt a wave of relief wash over you, your anxieties beginning to dissipate. "Really?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Really," Lando confirmed, his expression sincere. "I want to support you in every way I can. You mean everything to me."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the depth of his commitment. "I don't know what to say," you admitted, your voice trembling. "You've always believed in me more than I believed in myself."

Lando smiled, glancing at your neck, "Can I wipe off those kiss marks now? They're really irritating me," he said, unable to look away from them.

You laughed, feeling the tension melt away. "Oh, so now you're suddenly concerned about my appearance?" you teased, brushing a hand gently against his cheek.

"Always," he replied, his tone softening. "I just want everything to be perfect for you." He reached for a tissue, gently dabbing at the lipstick kiss marks Jordan had left.

"Also, I wanted to replace his marks with mine," Lando grinned, tucking his head into your shoulder and placing soft kisses along your neck.

You shivered at the sensation, feeling a mixture of amusement and affection.

"You're impossible," you murmured, tilting your head to give him better access. His playful yet tender gestures made your heart swell, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for his unwavering support.

"Impossible but irresistible, right?" he teased, pulling back slightly to meet your gaze. You nodded, unable to suppress a smile.

"Okay, maybe a little," you admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Just a little?" he asked, raising an eyebrow mischievously. "I think I can do better than that."

Before you could respond, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, lingering kiss that made your knees weak. "How about now?" he whispered against your lips, his breath warm and intoxicating.

You giggled, feeling your cheeks flush. "Alright, a lot," you confessed, playfully tugging at his collar.

"Good," he murmured, closing the distance between you, "because I plan to be irresistible for a very long time."

"Well, you certainly have my attention," you flirted back, tracing a finger along his jawline. "Think you can handle it?"

Lando's eyes sparkled with mischief as he tightened his hold on you. "Oh, I think I'll manage," he replied, his voice low and seductive. "After all, I have a lifetime to perfect my technique."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, causing both of you to jump. Lando instinctively held you tighter, his protective instincts kicking in.

"Who could that be?" he whispered, his brow furrowing as he reluctantly pulled away from your embrace. You quickly straightened your clothes and exchanged a curious glance with him before moving towards the door.

As you opened it, Sarah stood there, looking somewhat sheepish. "Y/N are you okay? You've been here for a while-" she said, her eyes darting between you and Lando. "You know what? Just take your time coming back,"

She closed the door and you turned back to Lando, who was already smirking at you.

"Now, where were we?" he asked, his playful demeanor returning as he stepped closer, making you forget all about the interruption.

You raised an eyebrow, matching his playful energy. "I believe you were about to show me just how irresistible you can be," you teased, stepping closer and running your fingers through his hair. "Think you can pick up where we left off?"

Lando's grin widened as he closed the distance once more, determined to make the most of every moment. . . . .

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reidmarieprentiss · 15 days

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Better Together

Summary: Spencer knows he messed up, he wants to prove to you that it was a mistake. His words, not you. You would never be anything but his person.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst

Warnings/Includes: aftermath of taking a break, reinforcing love and commitment, mild groveling, happy ending

Word count: 2.9k

a/n: i would just like to say that i do not think engagement equals love and i also don't think it's necessary to get engaged to "prove" your devotion -- this is fiction and mama wanted a ring lmao

main masterlist part one

As Spencer stepped into the quiet of the apartment, the absence of your presence was palpable, a silent echo of the space growing between you both. His gaze drifted across the familiar surroundings until it settled on the note affixed to the fridge. The sight of it—a stark, solitary piece of paper in the place usually bustling with the warmth of shared meals and conversations—felt oddly jarring.

The note was simple, void of excess detail, stating only that you had gone to stay with a friend. It didn’t say who, nor did it need to. The message was clear: you needed space. Spencer’s heart sank a little more with the understanding, yet there was also a part of him that acknowledged the necessity of this distance for both of you.

He stood there for a long moment, the weight of the empty apartment pressing down on him, reminding him of the gravity of your last conversation. It was time to use this space effectively, to reflect on everything you had said, on the emotions that had driven you to seek solace away from him. Spencer realized this was not just a moment to passively wait for your return, but an active opportunity to address his own fears, to understand his hesitations about the future, and to think critically about how he could make you feel more cherished and included in his life.

With a heavy sigh, he moved away from the note and sank down onto the couch, the silence enveloping him. He knew the coming days would be challenging, filled with introspection and perhaps painful realizations. But there was also a glimmer of hope—the hope that this time apart could lead to healing and a stronger foundation for whatever lay ahead. Spencer pulled out a notebook and began to write, outlining his thoughts and feelings, the fears he rarely voiced, and the steps he might take to bridge the gap between you. This was his chance to transform understanding into action, to show not just through words but through meaningful changes that you truly were his world.

—

Spencer was acutely aware that healing the rift between you would require more than just time; it demanded meaningful, heartfelt efforts. The damage done was not something he could fix overnight, but he was committed to doing everything in his power to mend your heart.

He started with texts. Spencer wasn't one to rely heavily on technology for emotional communication, but he knew you cherished seeing his name light up your screen. Each message he sent was carefully crafted, infused with warmth and affection, designed to remind you of his presence and his regret. Despite the sweetness of his words, you found yourself wrestling with the urge to respond. You appreciated his efforts—they tugged at your heartstrings, yes—but they weren't enough to sweep away the hurt that had built up.

Recognizing the limitations of digital words, Spencer transitioned to something more personal: handwritten letters. Since he didn’t know where you were staying, he sent them to your workplace, hoping the surprise of receiving mail would bring a smile to your face. Each letter was filled with his unmistakable handwriting, his words oscillating between heartfelt confessions, sweet nothings, and the occasional goofy remark that was so quintessentially Spencer. You couldn't help but smile sadly with each letter you opened, touched by his efforts yet still guarded, the emotions each letter evoked a mix of nostalgia and melancholy.

As days turned into weeks without a reply from you, Spencer realized he needed to do more, yet he was mindful of your dislike for public displays or grand gestures. He knew whatever he did next had to respect your boundaries and preferences.

So, he kept it simple. One evening, he showed up outside your workplace with nothing but a small bouquet of your favorite flowers and a hopeful smile. He waited for you, not as a grand gesture, but as a quiet statement of his willingness to do whatever it took to begin mending the gaps between you.

When you saw him standing there, something inside you stirred. It was a testament to his understanding of you, a reflection of his desire to make things right in a way that felt safe and respectful. The sight of him, so hopeful and earnest, cracked the protective wall you had built around your heart just a bit more.

His approach was soft, his voice tentative when he spoke. "I didn't come to pressure you, just to give you these," he said, extending the flowers towards you. "I just want you to know that I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, not unless you want me to."

The simplicity of the gesture, the sincerity in his eyes—it all resonated with you, reaching deep into the places in your heart that still ached for him. This was the Spencer you loved, the one who understood you sometimes better than you understood yourself.

—

Your stay with Penelope provided a comforting pause, a needed respite that allowed you to sift through the whirlwind of emotions and considerations that clouded your thoughts. Despite the necessary distance and time for reflection, your draw to Spencer persistently tugged at your heart, a constant reminder of what might be at stake. After all, he remained the love of your life, despite everything.

Motivated mostly by yearning and somewhat by determination, you felt it was time to go back home. It was a Saturday, a day Spencer typically reserved for introspection and journaling—a practice you respected for its purpose, though lately, it seemed to fall short in facilitating effective communication between you two.

You entered the apartment quietly, the familiar setting wrapping around you like a well-worn comfort. You navigated through the silent spaces until you reached his office door. There he was, ensconced in his usual spot, pen in hand and deeply absorbed in his journal. For a moment, you just stood there, watching him, taking in the sight of your handsome boyfriend, so focused and earnest in his contemplation.

With a heart full of mixed emotions—hope, love, and a tinge of residual apprehension—you approached him quietly from behind. As you wrapped your arms around him in a gentle embrace, you could feel him tense briefly, startled by the unexpected contact. However, as soon as he recognized your scent, the one so intrinsically linked to home and comfort, his body relaxed under your touch.

“Hi, darling,” Spencer greeted, his voice a soft murmur of relief and warmth, the endearment lingering between you.

As you nestled closer into Spencer, the warmth of his neck against your cheek, you felt the familiarity of your bond slowly rekindling the embers of connection that had seemed so threatened recently.

"Hi, Spence," you mumbled softly, your words barely audible, filled with the comfort and sadness of everything that had passed between you.

"You came home," Spencer responded, his tone tinged with a mix of sadness and hopeful surprise, as if he hadn't fully believed he'd hear those words or feel your presence like this again.

You nodded against him, the gesture simple but loaded with emotion. "I missed you," you admitted, letting the truth of your feelings spill out in the quiet sanctity of his embrace. It was a confession, an olive branch extended in the hope of mending the fractures that had formed.

Spencer's hand came up to gently rest on one of yours, securing it against him, a physical affirmation of his gratitude for your return. He turned slightly within the circle of your arms, attempting to catch a glimpse of your face, needing to see the sincerity in your eyes that matched the words you just spoke.

"I missed you too," he confessed, his voice a whisper of relief mingled with lingering apprehension. "A lot more than I thought possible," he added, giving voice to the depth of his feelings during your absence.

There was a pause, a breath of silence as both of you allowed the honesty of the moment to sink in. Then Spencer ventured further, his words cautious but necessary, "Are we okay? I mean, can we... talk about everything?"

You felt a flutter of nerves at the question—it was the one you both needed to address, yet feared. Taking a deep breath, you stepped back just enough to look into his eyes, searching for and finding the earnest worry reflected there.

"We need to talk, yes," you agreed, your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions. "But first, let me just say this... I came back not just because I missed you, but because I believe we can fix this."

His eyes searched yours, looking for the reassurance they so desperately needed, and he found it in your steady gaze. "I want that too," he said, the vulnerability in his voice striking. "I want us to work through this, no matter what it takes."

Encouraged by his words, you suggested, "Let's start by really listening to each other. No interruptions, just us, trying to understand where the other is coming from."

Spencer nodded in agreement, the gesture firm. "I’d like that. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and there are things I need to apologize for and areas where I need to do better."

"And I have things to admit too," you added, acknowledging your part in the strains that had tested your relationship. "Let's make a pact, here and now, to move forward together, with honesty and open hearts."

"Agreed," Spencer said, a soft smile finally breaking through the earlier tension. He extended his hand, a symbolic offering for you to shake. "Partners?"

"Partners," you affirmed, placing your hand in his, feeling a renewed sense of commitment enveloping the space between you.

—

"My parents' marriage... it wasn't something I ever wanted to emulate," Spencer confessed, the weight of his past evident in his tone. "And my father... he wasn't around. That left a mark on me, more than I usually admit."

Listening, you could see the struggle in his expression, the conflict of a man torn between his desires for a future with you and the scars of his past. His next words came slowly, each one a careful step forward. "I've been scared, really scared of turning into him, of failing as a husband... as a father."

"But," he continued, looking directly into your eyes, seeking the connection that had always grounded him, "knowing you, seeing how strong and committed you are, it gives me hope. When you came back... it meant everything. It told me that you're here, really here, even when things get tough."

You reached out, taking his hands in yours, squeezing them gently to offer reassurance and support. "Spencer, your past doesn't define your future. We can create something different, something better together. And I know you, you could never be like him. You're too caring, too thoughtful."

He nodded, a tentative smile beginning to form as the weight seemed to lift slightly off his shoulders. "Hearing you say that... it helps more than you know. I want to face these fears, not just for me, but for us. I want us to build a life together, free from the shadows of what was."

The conversation stretched on, each of you taking turns to lay bare fears and dreams, weaving a tapestry of shared hopes and commitments for the future. It was a pivotal moment, one that felt like a new beginning, as if you were both stepping out from under the heavy curtains of the past into a clearer, brighter day together.

—

One lazy Sunday, you were curled up on the couch, grateful for Spencer’s thoughtfulness as he had volunteered to run to the store to pick up the products you needed for your period. He had been so sweet and doting, eager to make you as comfortable as possible. In his rush to take care of you, however, he had left his phone behind on the kitchen counter.

When it started ringing, you instinctively picked it up, not even glancing at the screen, assuming it was your own phone. "Hello?" you answered casually.

"Spencer," Diana's familiar voice greeted you without skipping a beat. Before you could say anything, she continued. "I have your grandma’s ring. Would you rather I send it in the mail or do you want to come pick it up?"

You blinked in confusion, processing her words, especially the mention of a ring. "Um, hi, Diana," you replied awkwardly, realizing far too late that you were answering Spencer's phone, not your own.

"Oh, Y/N!" Diana's surprise was evident as she corrected herself. "I didn’t realize it was you."

You forced a small laugh, your mind already swirling with what Diana had just said. "Yeah, Spencer’s out running errands. I, um… picked up his phone by mistake."

"Well, no harm done," Diana chuckled lightly, though there was a warmth in her voice. "It’s good to hear your voice."

"Likewise," you replied, though your thoughts kept drifting back to the mention of the ring. "So, about that ring...?"

"Oh!" Diana said, realizing she might have let something slip before Spencer had a chance to talk to you. "It’s your grandmother’s engagement ring. Spencer and I were talking, and, well, he thought it might be nice to have it... for the future."

Your heart skipped a beat, the weight of her words settling in. Spencer was thinking about marriage, about proposing to you. Suddenly, the reality of your relationship felt larger, heavier in the best possible way.

"That’s... really sweet," you managed to say, though your voice wavered slightly, emotions swirling beneath the surface.

Diana’s tone softened, sensing what this meant for you. "He loves you so much, Y/N. I can see it every time he talks about you. I’m sure when he’s ready, it’ll be perfect."

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "Thank you, Diana. I appreciate that."

After a few more moments of polite conversation, you hung up the phone, still clutching it in your hand as you stared off into the distance. When Spencer came back a little while later, arms full of bags, completely unaware of what had transpired, you gave him a warm, knowing smile, your heart swelling with even more love for the man who had just picked up your favorite snacks.

"Everything okay?" he asked, noticing your slightly different demeanor.

"Yeah," you replied softly, still holding onto that secret knowledge. "Everything’s alright."

—

When Spencer finally brought the ring home, he did so with a heart full of intentions and a mind made up to bridge any distance that had crept between you two. The apartment you shared was softly lit, the ambiance calm and intimate—an environment that felt right for what he planned to do.

It was just an ordinary evening by all appearances, but for Spencer, it carried the weight of every moment that led up to this, every trial and misunderstanding, and every reaffirmation of his love for you.

You noticed he was a bit more fidgety than usual, pacing slightly before stopping in front of you, taking a deep breath as if to steady himself. You watched, curiosity piqued by his nervous demeanor, a soft smile playing on your lips, encouraging him silently.

"Y/N," he began, his voice stronger than his trembling hands. "I know there have been times when I haven't communicated well, when I've let my fears and past dictate how I handle our future." He paused, searching your eyes for understanding. "For every moment you felt you weren't enough, I am profoundly sorry. It was never about you not being enough; it was about me being too scared to admit how much I needed you."

You felt a rush of emotions at his words, warmth spreading through your chest, your eyes welling up with tears that mirrored the sincerity and vulnerability in his voice.

He took another deep breath, then knelt before you, the little box in his hand now open to reveal a ring—his grandmother's ring, rich with history and sentiment. "I can't imagine my life without you, and I don't ever want to try," he continued, his voice steady despite the tears that started to form in his eyes. "Will you marry me, Y/N? Will you be the joy in my every day and the peace in every night? Will you let me spend the rest of my life proving that you are, and always will be, more than enough for me?"

The room seemed to hold its breath as you took in the depth of his proposal, every word infused with his love and regret for any pain he had caused. Smiling through your tears, you nodded, words momentarily failing you as emotions took over.

"Yes, Spencer," you managed, voice choked with emotion. "Yes, I will marry you."

As he slipped the ring onto your finger, a symbol of promise and continuity, you both embraced, a long, tight hug that spoke volumes. It was a new beginning, a recommitment not just to each other but to always striving to be the best for each other.

In that moment, the past's shadows seemed to dissolve, replaced by the clarity of a shared future, one built on mutual love, respect, and the unwavering commitment to see each other through not just the easy moments, but especially through the challenging ones.

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v1x3n · 13 days

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R I P P E D A P A R T

john price x reader x 141 ⸝⸝ navigation part one part two part three

୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : tortured for information by your family and the person you loved, john price. you were harmed for something you hadn't even done, you were framed as the traitor and soon they would find out.

୨୧ 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 : angst - nightmare mention, hospital setting, scars, depression, neglect.

After being taken to the infirmary, your body had uncontrollably decided to take a long sleep, your dreams full of the terrors your best friends had caused you. Your dreams reminisce on the before, on the time where everything was okay, the time where you had a friend group and your job was going well. But that had to end, didn't it?

Nothing good could ever happen to you.

Waking up, you don't even know how long you slept for, you discover your bandages on your body changed. Still bloody but they were fresh material, you were in new clothes - well clothes. Head goes dizzy when you look around the room, taking in everything you could see. The high white walls with no decoration, the window that you could look out from on your so-called bed, the cream curtains that hung but were swept to the side - bringing in bright light from the outdoors. The outdoors, something you hadn't seen in what, a month? You couldn't remember anymore. You felt disoriented, angry yet also sad. You felt every fucking emotion you didnt have time to feel during the attacks, all at once. Eyebrows squeezing together, looking to the side of your sheets, a small wooden chair was placed there. After gulping you peek at the table next to your bed, there was also a sink in the corner. Usual hospital room, tv and two doors, one leading out into the hallways and one to a bathroom. And that was that.

There was one thing that made your heart furious though, an arrangement of colourful flowers, wrapped in a light pink ribbon sat on the table beside you. Frowning as you peer at the beautiful petals you look away, they ruined you, ruined your body, your life and all they give you is fucking flowers? You knew it was one of them, you had not built that much of a relationship with anyone else and they were your favourite flowers. Only the 141 knew your favourites, cheap fucking way of saying sorry. You hadn't even heard the words come out from any of their mouths yet, fucking pathetic. enraged, angry, furious and irritated were only some of the words you were feeling.

Soon it had been a week, lay in that stupid fucking room. At Least you had met a few people, you met a few nurses who came by to feed you, check up on you and help your wounds. And you had met a patient in the room next to yours, he was sweet towards you, you never spoke to him though. He did most of the talking, his name was Logan and honestly in the week you had known him for - he was growing on you. He came by everyday, he was very nosy though, very extroverted. Luckily he never demanded answers from you, he always spoke, sometimes you would reply with a shrug or a small nod. You couldn't tell if he had heard about what happened to you though, he never touched you and he was always so gentle, dunno. Maybe he was just nice.

Scars were left all over your form, a healing cut on your cheek that wouldn't take that long to fix - just a very quick and painful stitch up!, your legs just starting to become responsive, rope marks dug in your skin from how tightly they displayed you on that cold pole.

Drugged up on antibiotics wasn't the best feeling, you had a few infected wounds down your body, the one on your lower womb was ugly. It looked diabolical, but luckily you were on many pills so life is okay! Looking down at your hands, the missing fingers was just another example of the pain the four caused you.

Just when you were about to spew tears from your tear ducts, a light shadow covered you. When did he come in?

Your captain sat on the wooden chair beside you, he didn't speak, just looked down at his raggy boots. You were glad he didn't speak, but deep down you kind of wanted him too because this was far too awkward. Glaring down at your lap, you refused to speak to him, just as you tried to turn around the door swings open. The nurse you were closest to walks in and sees the two of you. The obvious tension floods the air, flowing out the open door when Jane starts talking, “morning, honey” she smiles and takes slow steps up to you.

You dont reply.

“We need t’ get you into the shower” she mumbles to you, peeling off the sheets that covered your battered body. You were ashamed that the nurse had to physically get you up and take you to the shower but your legs just wouldn't cooperate with you. A twisted and healing ankle paired with weak legs and then on top of that the depression that comes along with all of this summed up too being unable to help yourself up. You couldn't do anything for yourself, they tore you limp by limp and now you weren't the strong soldier you were before. All thanks to them. “Okay” a light voice sounds from you through a sigh, almost whispering, not wanting that fucking man next to you get the pleasure of hearing your voice. Letting the nurse help you get out of the bed, Jane looks down at your form, your skin and your trauma.

“Healing well, hm? Did nurse poppy give you your pills this morning?” Jane asks, tilting your head up gently to take a look at the slight slit on your throat. When the man right next to you was about to end your life.

What is the saying? Each scar tells a story but every story leaves a car. Something like that.

Nodding at the nurse's question makes the corners of her lips twerk up into a small yet genuine smile, “good, now let's get you up, hm?” you could almost feel john's eyes burning into you while the nurse helps you get up, your weak limbs drop as you stand on your feet, jane instantly gripping you and jolting you back up, an arm wrapped around you to help you walk.

You were thankful for the nurses, obviously they knew what had happened and they were nothing but gentle and sweet with you, they never tried to do anything that would trigger you and knew to check up on you, make sure you were eating, drinking, sleeping and things like brushing your teeth and showering. You felt kind of useless. Not being able to do anything for yourself but it wasn't exactly your fault though was it?

Jane took you towards the bathroom and Price still just kind of sat there, in your hospital room - staring at your bed.

“You can do it yourself, yeah?” Jane helps you sit on the lip of the toilet seat, the bathroom was sterile and white. The smell of bleach attacked your nose, you looked at the shower. The shower head pours down water at a fast pace when the woman in front of you turns the knob around, you almost flinch at the sound of the water hitting the shower floor. “C'mon” she mumbles, taking your arm to help you limp into the shower, as soon as the water hits you - you flinch. Taking in an old memory, instantly you back up to the wall, “i-i can't” you shake, gulping down, staring at the dropping water splattering over the floor. Breath picking up as you breathe in harshly, “i cant - i cant” you repeat as if the nurse hadn't heard you, she quickly leans over to grab the sponge that was placed under the shower head, she places it in your hand, “its okay, honey, don't worry.” jane coos while you shake, “you don't gotta, just scrub yourself down outside the shower, you don't have t’ go in if you can't”

Thank god for this sweet woman. After nodding she leaves you to your own devices.

Taking a glance at the shower and then down at your sponge, you sigh. How could you let yourself become this pathetic. A panic scares you when you hear sounds coming from outside the bathroom door, a deep voice which was so obviously johns then a softer voice which you would only match it to janes.

“Is she okay?” Jane's ears picked up John's voice, still sitting on the wooden chair but he was facing the bathroom door. “You know they dont want you here” she states, walking past him to clean up your sheets.

“I needed to see them.” All Jane does is sigh, “they can't see you right now, i understand it's hard but it's harder for her” john looks down at his boots, in defeat. Closing his eyes and biting his tongue, this was hard for him - it was hard for everyone.

All of the 141 missed you, missed talking to you, seeing you and missed their relationship with you. No one knew how to go about the situation, nobody knew what to do. How to make it right, how to make it the same as before. They all just thought; they didn't know what else to do, they all thought it was you and the signs pointed to you.

The job is ugly, it's disgusting, that's what it is.but there's nothing they can do about it, it's all a part of the job.

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vixemi · 5 months

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A/N: love this man but also love me some 🎶 angst 🎶

———————————————————————————

You had always known Gambit and Rogue shared a complicated history, but you never imagined it would lead to this. It started innocently enough – a lingering glance here, a playful smile there – but soon, it became impossible to ignore the growing tension between them.

One evening, as you walked into the common area of the X-Mansion, you found Gambit and Rogue deep in conversation, their laughter filling the room. But as you approached, their smiles faltered, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you had just interrupted something.

"Hey, what's going on?" you asked, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling gnawing at your gut.

Gambit glanced at Rogue before turning to you with a nonchalant shrug. "Just catching up, chère," he replied, his tone casual as ever.

But you could see the tension in Rogue's posture, the way her eyes darted away from yours. Something wasn't right, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you were being kept in the dark.

As the days passed, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered between you and Gambit. Every time you caught him stealing glances at Rogue or sharing inside jokes with her, it felt like a knife twisting in your heart.

Finally, unable to contain your frustration any longer, you confronted Gambit one evening in the training room. "What's going on between you and Rogue?" you demanded, your voice trembling with anger and hurt.

Gambit's expression hardened, his gaze meeting yours with a mixture of defiance and guilt. "It's nothing, chère," he insisted, but his words only fueled your anger.

"Nothing?" you scoffed, feeling the tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. "Don't lie to me, Remy. I see the way you look at her, the way you flirt with her. Do you think I'm blind?"

Gambit's jaw clenched, his hands curling into fists at his sides. "It ain't like that, okay? Rogue and me, we got history, but that don't mean nothin'."

But his words fell on deaf ears as the anger inside you boiled over. "I can't do this anymore," you cried, the pain of betrayal cutting deep. "I can't compete with your past, with her."

And with that, you turned on your heel and stormed out of the training room, leaving Gambit standing alone, grappling with the consequences of his actions and the realization that he had pushed you too far.

———————————————————————————

For days, the tension between you and Gambit hung thick in the air, neither of you willing to address the elephant in the room. Every interaction was strained, every word carefully measured, until it felt like you were walking on eggshells around each other.

But despite the distance that had grown between you, Gambit couldn't shake the feeling of regret that gnawed at his insides. He knew he had to make things right, to prove to you that you were the one he truly cared about.

So one evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the X-Mansion grew quiet, Gambit sought you out, determination burning in his eyes. He found you sitting alone in the garden, the moonlight casting a soft glow on your face as you stared off into the distance.

"Chère," he began, his voice gentle yet filled with sincerity. "I messed up, and I'm sorry. I should've been more mindful of your feelings, of what this – what we – mean to each other."

You turned to face him, your expression guarded yet hopeful. "And what about Rogue?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Gambit sighed, running a hand through his hair as he searched for the right words. "Rogue and me, we got history, but it's just that – history. You're the one I want, the one I care about. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right, to earn back your trust."

For a moment, the air between you was heavy with uncertainty, the weight of the past and the pain you both carried threatening to tear you apart. But then, slowly, you reached out to take his hand in yours, the warmth of his touch melting away the walls you had built around your heart.

"I want to believe you, Remy," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "But you have to show me, not just tell me."

And with that, Gambit pulled you into his arms, holding you close as he vowed to do whatever it took to make things right, to prove to you that his heart belonged to you and you alone. And as you melted into his embrace, the weight of the past began to lift, replaced by a glimmer of hope for the future.

#angst #misunderstandings #rogue #rogue xmen #gambit imagine #gambit x reader #gambit xmen #gambit #xmen #x men 97 #xmen imagine #remy lebeau imagine #remy lebeau x reader #remy lebeau

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punkshort · 10 months

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i'll be home for christmas | part three

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Having just caught your fiancé cheating on you, you decide to come back home from the big city to Austin for the month of December to try to figure out your next step. You had no idea you would be getting more than you bargained for with the handsome single dad who built your parents' house.

Chapter Warnings: no outbreak, modern day but Joel is 40, language, fluff, flirting, explicit smut (18+MDNI), (somewhat) unprotected piv sex, oral (f receiving), soft!joel, hallmark tropes up the wazoo, mentions of infidelity, mentions of divorce, angst (but happy ending is here), hurt/comfort, reader's sister is pregnant

WC: 12.4K

A/N: the final installment is here! I hope you enjoyed Joel shoved into a cheesy Hallmark story. Thank you to everyone who showed me so much love, you've all made me stupidly happy.

Series Masterlist

He knew he shouldn't do it. He knew he was just setting himself up for more heartbreak, but he couldn't help it. It was the first time in years that he had felt the touch of a woman, but it was more than that. It was the intimacy and the bond that came with having a partner that he craved more than anything. It was someone he could confess his deepest fears to, his happiest moments and his wildest dreams. Someone he could lean on when he was weak, when he needed support the most. For once, he wanted someone to make him feel safe and comforted. Someone to care for him and love him and be there for him, no matter what. He wanted to belong to someone.

So, he knew he shouldn't do it, but he allowed it, anyway, because he had so little. When he woke up early the next morning and saw you curled into his side, your face buried in his chest and your arm wrapped around his waist, he closed his eyes and let himself have the fantasy, just for a few minutes, of a world where you didn't live a different time zone away. Where it was just a typical Saturday morning for you both. He imagined the three of you going to breakfast before dropping Sarah off at soccer practice, then maybe you would beg him to take you to the home improvement store so you could pick out new paint and tile for the bathroom you wanted him to renovate. Then, after picking Sarah up, you would all go grocery shopping together. Sarah would come up with some dinner idea she saw online and you would help her pick out the ingredients while he pushed the cart and watched his girls try to sneak candy into the basket when you thought he wasn't looking. He liked to imagine you would all pitch in and help make dinner. Maybe each of you would be in charge of a certain part of the meal. Afterwards, you could all watch a movie together. He could enjoy a beer while you curled up next to him on the couch with a drink of your own. What was your preferred drink, anyway? He thought he saw you drinking wine the first night you met. He needed to find out. There was so much about you he didn't know yet, and he was desperate to know everything.

But when you woke up, you had other things on your mind.

That was how he found himself thirty minutes later deep inside of you again, coaxing out your second orgasm of the morning with your body sprawled out on top of him, whimpering into his neck while his hands guided your hips, rocking them back and forth until he felt your legs shake and he couldn't take it anymore. He rolled you over so you were on your back where he could reach the furthest depths of you, nudging against a spot that made your eyes roll to the back of your head and chant his name over and over until you unraveled around him again, and only once he was absolutely sure you were satisfied did he allow himself to let go and empty himself into you. Because even though he wants someone to take care of him sometimes, he has no problem taking care of you like this, first.

"Can I make you breakfast?" he asked after he caught his breath. You laughed softly, your throat sounding a little sore and it made his chest swell with pride.

"I have a confession to make," you said, rolling onto your side and tucking your hands under your head to face him. "I'm not really a breakfast person."

He gave you a look as if you had just told him the worst news of his entire life, and you dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"That's okay, sweetheart. I'm here now. I can change that," he replied with a grin, about to get up and drag himself out of bed when his phone rang.

"Must be Sarah," he said with a groan, reaching over and pausing when he saw the caller ID. He flipped the screen over to show you and your eyes widened in shock.

"My dad is calling you?" you asked, sitting up with the sheet wrapped around you. Whipping your head around, you quickly put the pieces together. "Oh my god, my phone's downstairs, they probably think I'm dead or something!"

Joel stood up and answered the call, spinning around to pick up his boxers from the floor and even though the moment was slightly ruined by your father, you still took a second to appreciate his fully naked body in the light of day for the first time.

"Hey, Paul," Joel said into the phone, yanking his underwear back on. "Yeah, hold on a second."

He held his phone out to you, and you cringed, gingerly taking it from him and putting it up to your ear.

"Hey, Dad," you said, trying to sound normal and not like your entire life was changing and you had no idea what to do about it.

"Mhmm, yeah I'm so sorry, my phone died last night," you said, biting your nail and glancing up at Joel. He held up a finger and headed down the hall to go downstairs and find your phone, giving you a bit of privacy.

He went to the kitchen and saw your cell next to your purse on his table. When he picked it up, the screen lit up in his hand. He saw a few missed calls and texts from your dad and sister, a couple texts from a girl named Sydney and the most concerning of the bunch, one singular text from a Will. He froze, staring down at the phone, unblinking as his chest began to rise faster. You never mentioned your ex-fiancé's name, but something in his gut told him it was Will.

His thumb hovered over the screen, the urge to open and read it overwhelming him, but he quickly stopped himself. That wasn't the type of man he was. What he felt for you was real and intense and life changing, and he wasn't going to screw that up. In order to make this work, assuming you would want to make a long-distance relationship work, the foundation of it would have to be trust. So, he let the screen go dark as he turned on the coffee pot and trudged back upstairs to hand you your phone. You smiled up at him gratefully as you listened to your dad on the other end.

"Yeah, Dad, that sounds great," you said in a tone that clearly sounded like you weren't interested. Joel smirked as he walked over to his dresser, pulling out two clean T-shirts. As he bent over to find some sweatpants, he saw you pick up your phone. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as your thumb froze over the screen for a moment, just long enough to allow the shock of the name to set in before you pressed down on the text and dragged it to a red button that said 'delete'.

He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep the grin from his face so you wouldn't catch on. You deleted it without even opening it. He took a deep breath as you wrapped up the call with your dad. This can work. It will have to work. You could do this.

"Sorry," you said, handing his phone back and giving him an embarrassed look. "God, that was so awkward."

"It's alright," he said with a chuckle, handing you a T-shirt and sweatpants. You raised an eyebrow as you took them and placed them on the bed.

"You think I'll fit in your sweats?"

"It's all I got," he said with a shrug and yanked on fresh clothes of his own. "You're more than welcome to walk around naked, if you prefer," he said, leaning down to press a soft kiss against your lips.

You hummed against his mouth before he pulled away to pick up the scattered clothes on the ground from the night before. When he bunched up the white T-shirt he wore underneath his button down, you stopped him.

"Wait," you said, and he turned around. You had your arm stretched out; his bedsheet still pressed against your naked chest. He reached over to hand you the dirty shirt, and you smirked up at him, dropping the sheet and exposing your top half.

His throat went dry as his eyes instantly fell to your chest, and he tried to ignore that familiar stirring below his waist as you deliberately took your time slipping his used shirt over your head. He remained frozen in place, barely blinking as you slid your legs out from under the covers and stood.

"I wanna smell you on me," you said by way of explanation, gazing up at him with eyes that were too soft and lips that were too swollen and fuck, you were too perfect.

You watched him from your seat at the kitchen island as he stood over the stove, expertly cooking eggs and bacon as if he were on autopilot, like he had done it so many times before, and probably did, but for Sarah. You took a sip of your coffee before padding up behind him, legs still bare in only just his used T-shirt, so you could wrap your arms around his stomach, resting your cheek against his back.

"Can I help?" you asked, taking a deep breath in, letting his scent fill your nostrils.

"No, baby, I got it," he said softly, turning his head to the side so he could try to see you hidden behind him.

You hummed and let your arms drop back to your side once it became apparent you were in the way, but he refused to say anything about it.

Picking up your phone from the counter, you sat back down to open all the missed notifications from last night and that morning. The texts from your dad and Cassie were similar, each wondering where you were and if you were okay but reading between the lines and noting the lack of real urgency in the tone, it seemed like they had both figured out where you ended up. With a sigh, you went to open the messages from Sydney.

Sydney: girl, tell me you checked insta

Sydney: can you believe that bullshit? what a fucking slut

You frowned, tapping out a quick reply to her as Joel plated your breakfast. You were about to open the app to see what she was talking about when he sat down next to you. The time you had with him was so short and precious, you didn't want to waste it scrolling on your phone or talking to people who never even bothered to ask you how you were doing after your breakup.

"This looks amazing," you said, eagerly picking up your fork. "Thank you," you added, hiding your mouth full of food behind your hand.

"Thought you weren't a breakfast person," he said, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Guess I worked up an appetite. Wonder why that is?" you teased, nudging your shoulder against his as he tried to hide the blush creeping up his neck. "You like to talk about my hidden talents, but you never mentioned that you were such a good cook," you said.

"Eggs and bacon ain't that hard," he said with a laugh.

"I would probably find a way to mess it up," you said.

"Well, I make it every Saturday for me and Sarah. Why don't you come by next week and I'll show you," he shrugged, not even realizing what he said until the words already slipped past his lips. It felt like you had been punched in the gut, the air leaving your body so fast it made you lightheaded. He paused when he realized that you wouldn't be there next Saturday and quickly dropped his fork to pull you against his chest after he saw the look on your face.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinkin'," he murmured into your hair.

"It's okay," you said quietly, doing your best not to cry. You had cried enough last night, and you had no interest in starting up again. So, instead, you pulled back and looked up at him with a sad smile before planting a quick kiss against his lips, then stood up. You collected your plates and brought them over to the sink, then turned on the faucet and picked up the sponge.

"You don't gotta do that," Joel said, jumping up to push you aside, but you wouldn't budge.

"You cooked, I'll clean," you said firmly, squirting some soap onto the plates. "You don't have to do everything, you know," you added when it became apparent he wasn't comfortable with you cleaning the dishes.

"Okay," he said quietly before reluctantly sitting back down, watching as you scrubbed the plates and forks before moving to the frying pan.

He realized that this is what it would be like. It was one thing to imagine it, because he could convince himself reality wouldn't be as good. That real life didn't work that way and could never live up to the absurd scenarios he tended to dream up in his head when he was in need of comfort.

But the silly little fantasy he had that morning was nothing compared to the real thing, and now that he's had it, he was terrified of losing it.

"So, I was thinkin'... work slows down in January, I could probably come up and visit you. I'm sure Tommy'll be fine with watchin' Sarah for a few days. What'dya think?"

He glanced over at you in the passenger seat of his truck, still wearing his T-shirt under your sweater but having found a better fitting pair of bottoms in Sarah's room.

"Oh! Yeah, that sounds great," you said, sounding surprised. "I don't even know where I'll be living, though," you added with a frown.

"Well, once you get back and figure it out, I'll book the plane ticket. I already looked, fares are low that time of year, lots of options," he rambled nervously, squeezing the steering wheel as his mind tried to work out the details.

"You already looked?" you asked him with a small smile, and he nodded.

"Yeah, looked last night after you fell asleep," he replied. "I know you're worried 'bout it, 'bout us, but we'll make it work, alright?"

"Yeah, okay," you said quietly, then forced a smile on your face when he gave you a concerned look. "I'm just really going to miss your cooking," you said solemnly, making him laugh.

You knew your options were limited and that this was the best choice. But you also knew long-distance relationships were hard, even for couples that had known each other for much longer than a few weeks.

Maybe you could each take a turn visiting the other every month. Maybe if you really try and put in the effort, talk to each other every single day, maybe it could work. But what was the long term plan? He couldn't move to New York, not when he has his daughter to think about. Would you eventually move back to Texas? Give up everything you've been working towards in New York, the life you built, just to end up back home? What would be the point in ever moving there in the first place? It had to all be for something, right?

He walked you up the porch steps, just like he did since that first night. Always so courteous and respectful. You dropped the bag that carried your dress at your feet, drawing your attention to the ridiculous outfit you were wearing. Your white sweater buttoned up over his oversized shirt, with Sarah's pink pajama bottoms and your high heels from last night.

"If this isn't a walk of shame, I don't know what is," you said, stifling a laugh. He grinned and glanced around.

"Better get in before the whole neighborhood sees," he said, tilting your chin up for a kiss. "Don't need everyone talkin'," he added softly, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" you asked hopefully, and he nodded.

"Yeah, Tommy's party," he reminded you. You nodded.

"Should be fun," you said.

"Yeah," was all he offered as a response, not yet making a move to go, clearly not wanting to leave you.

"You gotta get Sarah," you told him, finally forcing his feet to move.

"Yeah, okay," he said with a sigh. "Talk to you later?"

"I'll text you. My mom wants to decorate the tree today." You rolled your eyes, making sure the doorbell camera couldn't see, and he smirked.

"Go!" you told him, playfully shoving his chest back when he still remained firmly planted on the porch. He grinned and finally turned to jog down the steps.

"Alright, alright," he said, glancing behind him so he could watch you go inside. He still had that stupid grin on his face as he made his way to his truck, but it quickly faded when he heard your dad call out from the garage.

"Hey, Joel, got a minute?" Paul asked, wiping his hands with a rag and leaning against the door frame. Shit.

"Yeah, 'course," Joel replied, taking a deep breath before walking up the driveway where your father stood waiting.

"Hey Paul, 'bout yesterday-"

Your dad held up his hand and shook his head, silencing Joel.

"You don't gotta say anythin', she's an adult, I just need to make sure she's alright," Paul said, eyeing Joel up and down.

"I shoulda reminded her reach out, it won't happen again," he replied, looking Paul square in the eye.

"I don't just mean last night, Joel," Paul said, a little quieter now. Joel searched the older man's eyes, and then he saw it. The deep concern that only a father could have for his daughter. A look that Joel had noticed in the mirror more and more lately.

"You make her real happy. I can see it, and I am grateful to you for that," Paul continued. "But she's goin' back to New York soon, and it's got me worried, I ain't gonna lie to you. She's been through a lot lately, and she doesn't deserve -" his voice cracked, and he glanced down at his feet.

"Paul, I care about her. I really care about her, and I think she cares about me, too. I'm gonna do whatever I gotta do to make this work," Joel said, trying to offer him some reassurance. "Believe me when I tell you that I'm the only one who can end up gettin' hurt here."

Paul dragged his gaze up to Joel once again with a sigh.

"I don't want either of you gettin' hurt. You're a good man, Joel. I've always liked you. Martha's always liked you. I'm just askin' you to be careful with my little girl, yeah?"

"I hear you," Joel said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I will, I promise."

"Good," Paul said, clapping his hand on Joel's shoulder.

"Listen, I gotta pick Sarah up from a sleepover, but I'll be back tomorrow. My brother's havin' a Christmas party at his house. Think he asked Cassie to come, too."

"Yeah, he invited us. I didn't get a chance to talk to him much at the party, but he invited us through Josh just yesterday," Paul said.

"Oh?" Joel replied, wondering why they got a last minute invite, but chalked it up to Tommy just being Tommy. "Sounds great. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

Joel let out a shaky breath as he walked back to his truck. He had to hand it to Paul: if the roles were reversed and it was Sarah in your shoes, he wasn't sure he would be so understanding.

Luckily for you, your mom was nowhere to be found as you hurried up to your bedroom and shut the door behind you quietly. It was bad enough your parents knew where you were spent the night, they didn't need to see the evidence on top of everything else.

You tucked Joel's shirt into the bottom of your drawer, not wanting to mistakenly wash it, but made sure to put Sarah's pajama bottoms in the pile of laundry you had to tackle today.

After taking a quick shower, you headed back to your room to check your phone. You knew Joel was with Sarah and you shouldn't expect a text already, but you were still disappointed. You couldn't get enough of him. He was on your mind day and night, consuming your thoughts and dreams at every turn. The logical part of your brain warned you it was just infatuation, that new relationships always brought a sense of excitement and passion. But your heart was telling you otherwise. You had deep and profound feelings for him. Feelings you never felt before, or you thought you felt before, but never did to this degree.

Even if you called him every single day, how could you go that long without his touch? You could barely get through an hour without it now. You yearned for him in a way you never thought possible; a way that made you feel like you could finally understand what Jane Austen and Charlotte Brontë wrote about. You knew it sounded crazy, that your friends or family couldn't ever understand, but that was fine. It was something you could have just for yourself.

You leaned back into your bed, your hair still wet and wrapped in a towel, as you scrolled through your phone. Realizing you had been brushing Sydney off the past several days, you opened her text, rereading it and then opening Instagram to try to find out what she had been talking about.

You scrolled a while, realizing you hadn't paid much attention to social media the past couple weeks and missed quite a bit. You saw the standard pictures of your friends and coworkers partying, taking selfies at holiday parties, but nothing stood out to you. With a frown, you swiped back to her text.

You: I couldn't find anything on insta, what are you talking about?

You waited a few minutes, flipping back to the app to scroll again before getting a response.

Sydney: did you see Chris's pics from a few nights ago at tunnel??

You typed in his name in the search bar and began swiping through his pictures. You found the ones where he was at Tunnel, but again, you had no idea what she was talking about. Before you could ask, she sent another text.

Sydney: 4th and 5th pics, zoom in, behind him and Jess

Finding the pictures, you pinched your screen and gasped. There, in the background, was Will and your friend, Melanie, with their tongues down each other's throats. The very same Melanie you were bunking with until you found a new place to live. You couldn't see her face in the fourth picture, but when you zoomed in on the fifth one, they had pulled away slightly and it was obvious who it was.

Will had texted you last night and you deleted it. Now you wondered if he had texted you to try to do some damage control over these pictures. The thought infuriated you. These people clearly didn't give a damn about you, they only wanted to ease their own conscience, and you weren't going to let them.

Sydney began to send a whirlwind of texts after, but you hardly responded to any of them. What were you going to do? How could you go back and continue to live with Melanie after what you just saw? Was she the girl he was seeing the whole time? You never bothered to ask when you found out, you didn't think your friends would betray you like that, so you didn't care.

Angry now, you opened up a text to your sister and began furiously typing.

You: are you free tomorrow? We need to look for apartments for me asap

With a groan, you put your phone on silent and slid under the covers. Maybe Sydney would let you stay with her. She didn't have a huge place, but if it was only for a couple weeks and you had a place lined up before you got back, maybe she wouldn't mind.

You glanced at the mirror one more time, fixing a few loose strands of hair and checking your teeth before snatching your purse off the table, shoving your phone inside, and heading down the stairs where you could hear Joel in the kitchen talking with your parents.

Your mom was wearing one of her patented, unironic ugly Christmas sweaters, and it seemed as though this year she managed to rope your dad into it because he had a reindeer on the front of his that looked like one of the eyes was perilously close to falling off.

Joel turned to greet you with a warm smile, choosing to wear a much more normal off-white V-neck sweater with a pair of dark jeans. He pulled you into a hug, murmuring in your ear how beautiful you looked in the dark green knee length dress you picked out.

"Where's Sarah?" you asked him.

"She's been at Tommy's all day, wanted to help him set up," he explained.

"You ready to hit it?" your dad asked, looking down at his watch. You nodded, looping your arm through Joel's as you followed your parents out the front door. It was much colder than you were expecting, the bitter wind taking your breath away as Joel jogged ahead to start the truck. Your mom veered off towards their SUV, and your dad turned to you.

"See you there," he said, his breath clouding in front of his face in little puffs.

"Yeah. Hey, how'd mom get you to wear that ridiculous thing tonight?" you asked him with a teasing lilt to your voice as you pointed to his sweater.

Your dad chuckled and shoved his hands deep in his pockets.

"Sometimes people do crazy things for the person they love, Buck."

Your dad headed over to the driver's side of his SUV, leaving you cemented to the ground as his words tumbled around in your head.

"All good?" Joel asked, his arm coming up to your shoulders, steering you to the truck and out of the cold.

"Yeah," you whispered, taking his hand so he could help you up into the cab.

You were always amazed how comfortable your parents were in unusual social settings. Even if they hardly knew anyone, they managed to make new friends within ten minutes of arriving. That's why it came as no surprise when they branched off from you and Joel after arriving at Tommy's house, first finding your sister and her husband, and then laughing jovially with an older couple you learned later were Tommy's neighbors.

Cassie waved to you from across the room, beckoning you over. You smiled and waved back as Joel slid your coat from your shoulders.

"I'll get us somethin' to drink, what'dya like?" he murmured, his hand falling to the small of your back.

"I'm all set, but thank you," you said with a smile. He gave you a quick kiss on the top of your head before heading off to the kitchen while you made your way across the room to your sister, giving her a big hug.

"Did you get my text?" you asked as you pulled away.

"Yeah, sorry. You wanna get together tomorrow and we can look?" Cassie asked, and you nodded.

"That would be great," you said with relief as Joel sidled up next to you, beer in hand.

"What would be great?" he asked, taking a sip from the bottle.

"I'm gonna help her look for apartments tomorrow," Cassie explained. Joel nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew you were leaving in a few days, but he tried his best not to think about it, too worried that he would waste what little time he had left already missing you.

"Dad!" you all heard Sarah's voice ring out over the crowd of people in Tommy's living room. A smile instantly stretched across his face as he turned around, his daughter's arms wrapping around his midsection and squeezing him tightly. And as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she turned to embrace you right after, once again complimenting your dress and hair. Cassie and Josh exchanged knowing glances before Joel introduced them to his daughter.

"C'mon, I want you to try the cookies I made," Sarah said, grabbing your hand and dragging you towards the kitchen. Joel watched the two of you leave, his chest aching and his throat tightening at the sight of his daughter so happy.

"You okay?" Cassie asked, startling him.

"Yeah," he said, clearing his throat as he realized Tommy had come over to talk to Josh about what sounded like football.

"You're not a very good liar, Joel," Cassie said with a smirk. Joel gave her a surprised look and chuckled.

"No, reckon I'm not," he replied, taking another sip from his beer. His eyes met yours when you turned around in the kitchen and took a bite from a sugar cookie, tossing him a wink that made him smile.

"Do you love her?"

Joel nearly choked on his beer, his head swiveling back towards Cassie in surprise.

"Bit soon for that, don't you think?" he finally managed to say.

"That doesn't exactly answer my question," she said with a glint in her eye. Joel felt his heart hammering in his chest. Of course, he loved you. And apparently, it was very obvious. But still, he struggled with an answer, not sure how much to tell your sister. When a couple minutes passed and he still hadn't thought of anything to say, Cassie's eyebrows pinched together.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, reading the pain on his face. He sniffed and shook his head.

"It's alright," he replied, but his voice cracked, so he took another sip of beer to help distract from it.

"Dad! Do you wanna try one?" Sarah asked from the doorway, holding out a green sugar cookie in his direction. Joel forced a small smile and nodded before muttering excuse me to Cassie and headed over.

He plucked the cookie gingerly from his daughter's hand and took a bite, nodding to her and smiling as he chewed.

"Real good, baby girl," he said after he swallowed.

Sarah grinned mischievously as you approached, sliding your arm up and rubbing his back affectionately.

"She did a good job," you said, nodding towards the cookie. Sarah took a few steps back and looked up.

"Oh, no," she said, her tone flat, implying sarcasm as she pointed above your heads. "Guess you better kiss."

You both looked up at the small bundle of greenery wrapped in a little red bow pinned to the doorframe. You bit your lip and tilted your chin back down, raising an eyebrow at him.

He sighed and rolled his eyes as if it were a great burden, but he couldn't keep his mouth from turning up into a smile as he placed his beer and half eaten cookie on the table behind you so he could gently cup your jaw with both hands. You lifted your face up and let your eyes flutter closed when his lips brushed tenderly against your own, and just like the first time you kissed, all the noise surrounding you faded away. The only thing that mattered in those few moments were the two of you and the love that clearly burned so brightly that it drew the attention of Tommy and your family.

Your parents exchanged a sad glance and looked away right as Joel pulled back and gave a small kiss to the tip of your nose, then reluctantly dropped his hands to his sides.

"Adorable," Sarah said with a grin. You turned to look at her as she held up the screen of her phone, showing you the picture she sneakily took. You felt your cheeks flush as you gave her a playful shove, making her giggle.

A few hours later, Joel drove you home, with Sarah humming to herself in the backseat of the cab while she scrolled on her phone. His hand interlocked with yours as he drove, his thumb gently rubbing your knuckles while he steered the truck with one hand.

"Can you come over on Christmas?" Sarah asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

"She's gotta spend Christmas with her family, baby girl," Joel said, his eyes shifting to the review mirror to look at her.

"Actually, we exchange gifts tomorrow," you told him. "We've always done our presents on Christmas Eve. But I'm sure you guys want to do your own thing-"

"No," Joel said quickly, cutting you off. "We just have Tommy over. If you're free, we'd love to have you."

"Are you sure?" you asked him quietly, but Sarah's voice piped up from behind you.

"We're sure," she said confidently, making you chuckle.

"You heard her," he said with a grin.

"Alright then, that sounds great, thank you," you replied as he pulled into your driveway.

"I'm just gonna walk her up, okay?" Joel said over his shoulder, and Sarah just nodded, staring down blankly at her phone.

"I hope she didn't put you on the spot. If you aren't comfortable with it, I understand," Joel said as he led you up the steps.

"Not at all. If anything, I thought I would be intruding on family time," you responded when you reached the front door.

But you are family he thought, refusing to say it outloud.

"You're never intruding," he said earnestly. "We tend to start early, though. Maybe I can pick you up tomorrow night?"

"Wouldn't that be weird for Sarah?" you asked, tilting your head to the side.

"I'll figure it out. I'll sleep on the couch or somethin'," he said reassuringly.

"Okay," you said, giving him a shy smile and tugging your lower lip between your teeth. He reached out to swipe his thumb lovingly over your cheek before pinching your chin and pressing a kiss against your lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow night, then," he murmured.

You watched as he jogged down the steps, his breath lingering in the cold air behind him. You lifted a hand to give Sarah a wave and stepped inside when your phone went off in your purse. With a frown, you lifted it out and when you saw the text, you blushed.

Joel Miller: Miss you already.

"Hey Buck, you in here?" your sister's voice said from the other side of your bedroom door.

"Yeah, come in," you told her, sitting up in bed but still staring down at your phone will a goofy smile on your face.

When Cassie walked in with her laptop and saw your face, she rolled her eyes.

"Lemme guess," she said, plopping down on the bed next to you. "Joel?"

You didn't reply, still staring down at your phone as you tapped out a text.

"Hellooo?" Cassie said loudly, waving a hand under your face. You blinked and looked up at her.

"What?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"No, sorry, I was just texting Joel," you said, the grin coming back. "What did you say?"

"Nevermind," Cassie replied, shaking her head. "You ready to look at apartments? I did some research this morning and I found a few you might like, and they are really affordable."

"Oh, yeah?" you said, finally dragging your attention away from your phone, curiosity getting the best of you. "That's fantastic because you'll never believe this one."

You sat back and told Cassie about Will and Melanie, her jaw dropping at the end.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" she exclaimed, and you shook your head.

"Nope. And you know, he had the audacity to text me trying to explain himself? I deleted the first one without reading it but the asshole actually texted me today, wishing me a Merry Christmas and oh, by the way, sorry I've been fucking your friend."

"What did you say?" Cassie asked, letting the laptop boot up on the bed next to her.

"Nothing. I just blocked his number. And I'm going to block Melanie, too, once I get back and get my shit from her place. Sydney said it's okay if I stay with her for a little bit, so I hope you found some decent options," you said, nodding towards the computer.

"Lemme pull them up," she said, moving the laptop towards her and taking a few minutes to pull up the sites she bookmarked, then she swiveled the computer to face you, watching your reaction closely. You narrowed your eyes at the screen and frowned, glancing up at her.

"These are in Austin," you said slowly.

"I know," she said, inching towards you on the bed. "I think you should stay, Bucky."

"Cas-"

"I saw you last night. Everyone saw you guys last night. And even if we didn't, it's so obvious to all of us-"

"Who? Mom and Dad?" you asked, rolling your eyes.

"Yes, Mom and Dad. And Josh. And Tommy. And probably even Sarah. Why are are you doing this to yourself?"

"Doing what? Going back to my home and my job? I didn't realize that was so irresponsible," you said sarcastically, growing more agitated.

"What home, Buck? Your home is here, with us. With Joel and with Sarah. And you know it," she said, crossing her arms.

"I'm not fighting with you about this. I'm not just going to give up and move back because some guy dumped me," you said, standing up from the bed.

"Would you give up and move back if another guy loves you?" she asked, stopping you cold.

"What?"

"He didn't tell me, but it's so obvious, Buck. C'mon, you see it, right?" she said, more gently now.

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair.

"Look, if you're not going to help me look for a place, can I at least borrow your computer? It's a lot easier to do it that way than using my phone."

"Fine," Cassie said, standing up and walking to the door. "But you're right, I'm not going to help you ruin your relationship with a guy who's actually fucking perfect for you. If you want to be stubborn, go right ahead."

"I'm not ruining my relationship with him, we're gonna do long-distance, and-"

"Yeah, okay. Good luck with that," she said over her shoulder, closing the door behind her.

When you saw Joel pull into the driveway later that evening, you rushed out the door, tossing a wave to your family over your shoulder. He frowned and jogged up to you, taking the duffel bag from your hand.

"Why didn't you let me come to the door? I wanted to say Merry Christmas to your folks," he said, following you to the passenger door.

"I was too excited to see you," you confessed, peeking inside and confirming Sarah wasn't in the car before turning around to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down for a deep kiss. "Sorry," you added with a smirk, nipping lightly at his lip.

"I'll forgive you," he said with a grin, then yanked the door open to help you up. He tossed your bag on the seat behind you before getting behind the wheel and backing out of the driveway.

"Is Sarah excited for Christmas?" you asked him as you looked out the window. He loved that you always thought to ask about his little girl.

"Oh, yeah. She loves Christmas. Especially since we're supposed to get snow tonight," he said.

"I heard about that, might be a lot."

"That's alright, we got nowhere to be," he said with a wink. "I can make us all breakfast in the mornin', Tommy'll be by around ten, we can do presents and watch movies. Or whatever you want. That's just what we usually do. Are there any traditions or anythin' you like?"

The excitement in his voice was palpable. This was going to feel like a real Christmas for the first time in years. Not that he didn't enjoy holidays with his daughter and brother, but something always felt like it was missing.

"All of that sounds perfect," you said with a smile.

When you entered Joel's house, Sarah came bounding up to you for a hug before you could even get your coat off.

"I'm so excited! We're gonna have a sleepover! Dad said we can stay up late and watch movies and set up sleeping bags in the living room next to the tree - come here, let me show you!" She dragged you across the room, and you tossed a laugh over your shoulder at Joel who was watching with a smile from the door.

Sarah fell asleep sometime during The Grinch, after the three of you had hot chocolate and the leftover cookies she had made for Tommy's party. With a contented sigh, you sleepily reached over and wrapped your arm around Joel's waist and buried your face against his neck, falling asleep just like that while he finished watching the movie alone, the smile refusing to leave his face.

"Wake up!" Sarah shouted, making you both jump out of your skin.

"What's wrong?" Joel asked groggily, trying to blink the sleep from his eyes. Then he smelled your shampoo and felt the warmth of your body against his and his heart melted as the night before came flooding back to him.

"It snowed, Dad!" she said. "Come on, I wanna build a snowman and do snow angels."

"It's early, honey, gimme a minute," Joel groaned, and he felt you trying to muffle your laughter against his chest.

"I'm gonna go wash up and change so we can go outside," she said, excitedly skipping up the steps.

"Jesus, you'd think she was eight years old," he mumbled, rolling on his side to wrap his arms around you tightly.

You burrowed into his chest deeper, the heat from his body washing over you and causing you to feel unbelievably relaxed, even if you were sleeping on the floor with an old sleeping bag as a mattress.

"Merry Christmas," you whispered, planting a soft kiss against his throat.

"Merry Christmas, baby," he said in return, his voice so deep and thick with sleep that it made your knees weak.

He leaned down and captured your lips with his while his fingers got tangled in your hair. He let out a satisfied groan when you let his tongue slip past your lips, sending goosebumps all over your body.

"Joel," you said breathlessly, pulling back. "She'll be back any second."

"Sorry. You're just so fuckin' pretty in the mornin'," he said with a grin. "Can't help myself."

After Sarah got ready, you and Joel took turns getting dressed and manning the stove. Once Joel made sure you were all full of pancakes, eggs and toast, he told Sarah she could go outside and take pictures while the two of you stayed behind to clean up.

Once again, you insisted on doing the dishes after he had cooked most of the meal. It was difficult for him to get used to that, but he put up less of a fight this time and let you do it, knowing that you were just trying to take some things off his plate. He reasoned that it was what he had wished for all along - someone to help him and care for him - so he might as well let it happen. He was in too deep at this point, anyway.

"The hell, you couldn't shovel me a damn path?" Tommy's voice boomed from the front door.

"That's what Sarah's for, why don't you yell at her?" Joel said with a grin as he pulled his brother into a hug. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, brother," Tommy replied, slapping him on the back before making his way to you across the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas, little lady," Tommy said, picking you up and spinning you around, the same way he did with Sarah at her recital. You giggled, and Joel could see in your face that you were surprised. You gripped Tommy's shoulders and planted a kiss on his cheek when he finally put you down.

"Merry Christmas, did you eat? We still have some food left over," you said, pointing to the counter where the food was wrapped up in foil. When he heard you say we, it made Joel's stomach clench. Why on earth couldn't he have met you sooner?

"Don't mind if I do," Tommy replied, pulling a fork from the drying rack and grabbing the plates.

"Okay, Uncle Tommy's here, can we do our gifts now?" Sarah asked, rushing inside through the sliding glass door, her nose and cheeks pink from the cold and her tight brown curls carrying in a light dusting of snowflakes.

"Let him eat first, baby girl," Joel said, but Tommy shook his head, shoveling in a forkful of pancake.

"Go ahead and get started, I won't be long," he mumbled around the food in his mouth.

You and Joel brought your coffee into the living room and watched her excitedly open the gifts he had put under the tree, some of which you recognized as your own handiwork. He slung his arm around the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing against your shoulder. You leaned into him, bringing your knees up to your chest and your mug to your lips as you watched Sarah with a warm smile. Already, this was the perfect Christmas, and it had only just begun.

Sarah picked up a flat rectangular gift and read the tag before handing it over to you, and then going back to holding up the clothes she got.

You furrowed your brow and smiled when you saw it was from Joel, then turned to look up at him.

"It's nothin' really," he said with a shrug, but you could tell he was nervous. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tommy enter the room, picking up Sarah's gifts one by one to examine them.

You set your mug down on the coffee table and opened the package, your hands pausing when you began to recognize what it was. Hurriedly, you ripped the rest of the paper off and flipped it over. Tears sprung to your eyes as you looked closely at the wooden picture frame he had made for you. Hearts, snowflakes, stars and moons of various sizes filled each and every inch of the wood. All of them painstakingly carved by his patient hand. You ran your finger over the wood, marveling at how smooth it was, before you even thought to look at the picture itself. Inside the frame was a picture of the two of you at Sarah's recital: you in your red dress and him in his dark red dress shirt. Your eyes were closed and his lips were pressed gently against your forehead.

He cleared his throat, growing nervous the longer you stared and didn't say anything.

"It's not a big deal, just-"

"No, it is a big deal," you said, turning to him with tears in your eyes. "I love it." I love you.

"Yeah?" he asked, finally allowing a smile to spread across his face. "Tommy took the picture and the idea just came to me."

"It's perfect," you breathed, looking back down at it in wonder. "Thank you so much."

You continued to stare at it, looking closely at and admiring each symbol he marked in the wood when you remembered your gift.

"Oh, wait!" you said, jumping up from the couch to paw through your duffel bag. You pulled out a card in a red envelope and handed it to him with a smile.

"You didn't have to do anythin'," he said, but ripped open the envelope eagerly anyway.

"It's actually a gift for both of you, if you want," you began nervously, getting Sarah's attention. Joel opened the card and saw two plane tickets for a five day trip to New York. He looked up at you in shock and glanced at Sarah before looking back down.

"What is it?" Sarah asked, getting up to look over his shoulder. Her eyes widened and she gasped.

"We're going to New York City?!"

"If you want," you repeated, biting your lip. "I thought you could both come visit me for a few days next month. I picked the end of the month because Tommy said you won't be working," you glanced up at Tommy and he smiled. "But if you want to pick different dates, we can do that, too. They're flexible tickets."

You realized you were rambling now. Joel's eyes were still glued to the tickets in shock, and you were worried you might have overstepped.

"Dad! We're gonna go to New York City!" Sarah squealed, shaking his shoulder and yanking the tickets from his hands. His eyes finally flicked up to meet yours.

"They are fully refundable, too," you continued, suddenly feeling sweaty. "No pressure, I just thought-"

He reached forward to grip the back of your neck, pulling you forward and crashing your mouth onto his. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, but you managed to get your bearings and return his kiss. He pulled back and pressed his forehead affectionately against yours.

"Thank you," he whispered. You breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're welcome," you said with a smile.

He couldn't believe you thought of bringing his daughter with him to visit. His chest ached, seeing how wonderful you were with her, how caring and sweet and thoughtful and all the things his little girl needed and wanted but never got from anyone besides him and Tommy.

After the excitement died down, Sarah dragged you all outside to play in the snow. Insisting on building snowmen and taking tons of selfies because, as she said, it never snows this much in Texas, we need to memorialize it.

When it got too cold for you, you slipped back inside to make lunch, watching from the kitchen window as the three of them had a snowball fight, and laughing when Sarah nailed Joel square in the back of the head with a huge snowball.

The three of them finally came back in, filling the kitchen with a blast of cold air so crisp you could smell it. After they shrugged off their coats and gloves in the hall, Joel snuck up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his freezing cold face into your neck, making you giggle and shriek. You tried to squirm away, but his grip was too tight.

"Warm me up, baby," he murmured into your neck, and you threw your head backwards as you laughed, your fingers trying to pry his hands off you.

"Oh, I love grilled cheese," Sarah said, eying up the sandwiches you had just plated as they walked in the door.

"I don't know how to make much, but I can make a mean grilled cheese," you told her, finally escaping Joel's grasp so you could join them at the table.

Joel couldn't remember the last time anyone cooked for him. Sarah tried a few times but ended up needing his help. He appreciated the thought and effort she had put into it, but it wasn't the same. He knew it was just a sandwich, but the fact he was able to sit down and have a warm meal without having to do it at a restaurant made it so much more meaningful to him.

The four of you spent the afternoon watching Christmas movies, drinking hot chocolate and eating leftovers from Tommy's party. You leaned up against Joel, his arm around your shoulders while you all watched Christmas Vacation, a beer in one hand while his other hand mindlessly played with the ends of your hair and all he thought was this is better than I ever could have imagined.

When the sun began to dip below the trees and the snow melted enough where his truck was visible again in the driveway, he reluctantly took you home, but only after you promised Sarah you would see her once more before you flew back home.

"Are you working tomorrow?" you asked him when you reached your front door.

"Yeah, but I can come by after," he replied, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Okay," you said quietly, holding back the tears that threatened to spill down your face. "Thank you for today, I had a really great time."

He nodded and took a shaky breath in.

He wanted to tell you. The words were sitting right at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't say it. He knew if he did, you would never leave. So instead, he wordlessly stepped forward and gave you a soft kiss, his lips wrapping around your lower lip and giving it a gentle tug as he pulled away.

"Sleep tight," he murmured, the tip of his nose nudging your own. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart."

You watched him walk slowly down the steps and head to his truck, your eyes stinging and your chest tight as you bit your lip. He turned back to give you a wave before starting the car and backing out of the driveway. Only when his taillights disappeared down the street did you allow the tears to finally fall.

Joel pulled up to the job site early the next morning, spotting Tommy's truck already parked along the street. He glanced quickly at his phone to make sure he didn't miss a text from you before pulling on his gloves and walking up to the building.

"Hey," Joel said to Tommy when he walked in, then shrugged off his coat.

"Hey. Cold one out there today," he replied, taking a sip from his thermos. Joel grunted in response and kept his gaze focused on the tools in front of him. Tommy watched him for a moment before speaking again.

"So, tomorrow's the big day, huh?"

"Yep," was all Joel said in response.

"What time's her flight?"

"Morning. Ten or so," he replied, still not looking up.

"Hm," Tommy said, taking another sip of coffee. "You don't look so good today."

"Huh?" Joel asked, finally turning around to furrow his brow at his brother.

"You look a little under the weather. Maybe you oughta go home," he said, tilting his head to the side. It took a moment, then the realization dawned on him.

"Oh," he said, looking around the half built store, his fingers flexing at his sides, clearly thinking it over.

"Just go, Joel," Tommy told him.

"Yeah, but-"

"This can wait. Just go be with your girl," he urged gently. "I can handle things here today."

"Okay," he said, grabbing his coat and throwing it back over his shoulders. He turned around to thank him as he got to the door, but Tommy waved him off.

"Get goin'."

Joel grinned and flung the door open, jogging back to his truck and pulling out his phone.

Joel Miller: You awake?

He took the porch steps two at a time, his finger hovering over the doorbell before deciding to rap his knuckles against the door instead. He tapped his foot as he waited impatiently, then straightened up when he heard the sound of the door opening.

You peered around the door looking like you had just woken up, although you had claimed you were awake when he texted you fifteen minutes ago.

"Joel? I thought you had to work?" you asked, stifling a yawn.

"Anyone home?" he asked, ignoring your question and looking over your shoulder.

"No, they went shopping and then they were going to my sister's house after to help put together the crib," you told him, stepping back so he could enter.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" you tried again as he quickly slid off his boots and coat.

"Yeah," he said, providing no more information.

He took a step forward and leaned down to press his lips against yours, his hands skirting up your sides and resting on your jaw. You brought your hands up to grip his shirt tightly, tipping your head back and opening your mouth, deepening his kiss with a moan.

"So, you're home alone?" he clarified a little breathlessly, and you nodded.

"Why don't you show me the guest room?" he murmured, breathing deeply and giving you another quick kiss.

"Didn't you build this house?" you teased but took his hand to lead him up the stairs anyway. He swatted your ass playfully and you giggled.

"Yeah, but you make every room look better," he said, and you rolled your eyes.

"Such a sweet talker," you told him with a smirk as you reached the top of the stairs.

"Like what you've done with the place," he said without even looking around. Instead, he kicked the door shut and pulled you against him, his mouth latching onto your neck. You sighed and tilted your head back, giving him better access as you walked backwards towards the bed and pulled him down on top of you.

"Will you and Sarah come see me tomorrow morning before I leave for the airport?" you asked suddenly, making his lips freeze on your throat.

"'Course we will," he said, leaning up and brushing the hair away from your face. You searched his eyes for a moment, pressing your lips into a thin line as you tried to steady your breathing. The rawness and vulnerability he saw made him weak.

"It's okay," he said soothingly, and pressed a kiss against your forehead. "It'll all be okay."

He heard the words come out of his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to believe them. It didn't appear that you did, either, but you still nodded before dragging his face down to kiss you. He dipped his tongue past your lips, and you lifted the hem of his shirt up. He broke the kiss briefly, just long enough to tug the shirt over his head, then his mouth was back on yours while your hands roamed over his warm chest, trying to memorize every single detail of his pebbled skin while he was still here.

You lifted your hips, and he tugged your pajama pants down, leaving them in a heap at the bottom of the bed, then making short work of your shirt, leaving you almost completely exposed. His eyes raked up and down your body, his chest rising and falling faster than normal. He tried not to think about this being the last time you would be together like this for at least a month, but the suitcase in the corner of the room kept catching his eye.

So, to distract himself, he frantically pulled down your panties and settled his shoulders between your thighs. Before you even knew what was happening, you felt his tongue between your folds and you gasped, fully not expecting that, but you recovered quickly, your fingers finding their way to the top of his head, gripping the dark curls there as your hips rocked against his face.

You whined and arched your back, his coarse facial hair adding just the right amount of friction to your most sensitive spot to send you tumbling over the edge, gasping his name over and over until your body went lax.

He crawled up your body, planting soft kisses along your hips, stomach, breasts and shoulders until he reached your lips. The taste of yourself on his tongue was dizzying. It should have felt obscene, but it was the exact opposite. His taste and scent mixed with your own created something intoxicating, something indescribable that you wished you could keep and carry with you whenever you were lonely and two thousand miles away.

"Love the way you say my name," he mumbled against your mouth, his fingers working on the zipper of his jeans. Your breath caught in your throat when he shed his pants and underwear, the sight of him sending a tingle down your spine.

"You ready for me, baby?" he asked you, his palms squeezing your thighs. You hadn't realized it, but your body tensed up once you were reminded of his size. His gentle touch helped you relax while his hips nudged your legs apart, and you nodded.

"C'mere," you whispered, and he fell forward on his elbows so he could hover above you. You pinched his chin with your fingers and tugged him closer, brushing your lips softly against his, never wanting the moment to end.

He reached down between your bodies to line himself up, hooking your leg around his waist in the process. When he pressed forward, you let out a moan so soft and sweet that he needed to pause and clear his head.

"Fuck," he whispered as he eased all the way in. You had your lower lip tucked between your teeth and your chin tilted up to gaze at him, swallowing a whine as he rolled his hips, making you feel impossibly full. His eyes drifted down to where you were connected and his jaw went slack, watching in a trance at how beautifully your body accepted him.

"Joel," you gasped, trying to get his attention.

He looked up at you, a thin sheen of sweat covering his forehead and his breath coming in sharp pants.

"Roll over," you told him. He grinned and did as he was told, pulling you on top of him, his hands resting on your hips. You stilled for a moment as you adjusted around him, the angle far more intense, before you started rocking back and forth, then bouncing lightly, tipping your head back with your eyes slid shut.

God, if it wasn't the most beautiful thing he ever saw. Watching you lose yourself on top of him, chasing your release and moaning his name. It felt so surreal, he almost pinched himself. Then he felt his stomach tense and a familiar burning at the base of his spine and he knew he didn't have long. He sat up, one arm circling your waist, the other bracing his weight behind him, and he began to thrust upwards, matching your rhythm, his mouth open and hovering over yours as he waited for your body to warn him you were close.

"Joel!" you cried out, your face twisted with pleasure and your breath ragged.

"C'mon, baby," he urged, his hips snapping faster now.

You collapsed onto him, your cries muffled by his mouth as your climax washed over you and he finally let himself go with a loud groan of relief. His hips slowed and your eyes opened to look at him while you caught your breath.

He fell backwards, his arm no longer able to hold him up. You rolled off to the side, your head tucked into his shoulder and the pessimistic part of you wondered if that would be the last time, if either of you were strong enough to survive a long-distance relationship.

You swallowed roughly and looked up at him, only to find him staring at the suitcase in the corner of the room.

"Are you okay?" you whispered, and he quickly tore his eyes away to give you a smile.

"'Course I am," he said, rubbing your back reassuringly. But what he really wanted to say was please don't go.

You gave your mom a big hug, swaying back and forth as your dad put your luggage in the back of Cassie's car.

"Take care of yourself, Bucky," your mom said, giving your forehead a kiss.

"I will, Mom," you promised. You turned to your dad, who had made his way back to your side.

"Alright, kid," he said, pulling you into his chest roughly. You grinned and wrapped your arm around his sizable midsection. "Call me when you land, alright?"

"Sure thing," you said, pulling back.

"And I mean call, don't be textin' me, I wanna hear your voice," he said sternly, and you nodded.

You heard a car coming up the driveway and your chest squeezed tight. Your mom must have seen it on your face because she gave you one more hug and whispered encouragement against your hair before she ushered your dad back inside.

"I'll be in the car," Cassie mumbled. She was still annoyed with you, but she wasn't the type to be cruel about it.

You heard a familiar voice call out your name and you turned around just in time to catch Sarah's embrace.

"I can't believe you're really leaving," she said sadly against your shoulder. You looked at Joel as he slowly walked up behind her.

"I know, but it's been so much fun. I want to thank you for everything. I had such a great time with you," you told her, pulling back. "I really mean it, okay?"

"Yeah, me too," she said with a smile. "And I'll see you again in a month, right?"

"Right! It's not that long, it'll be here before you know it," you told her, the lie slipping right past your lips.

She finally stepped back, looking at her dad and then back at you before telling Joel she would wait in the car.

You looked up at him, the tears welling in your eyes now, unable to hold them back any longer.

"Don't cry," he whispered, pulling you close. He closed his eyes and felt you sob quietly against his shoulder, your fingers gripping his coat so tightly, like you were afraid to let him go.

"I stole your shirt," you said, your voice muffled. He chuckled and shook his head.

"That's alright, sweetheart, it's yours," he said.

Stepping back, you looked up at him. You could tell he was sad but trying to be strong for you, and for some reason, it broke your heart. Joel spent so much of his life being strong for everyone else around him, it wasn't fair.

He knew if he asked, you would stay. But that wouldn't be right. As badly as he wanted you to stay, not only for him, but for Sarah, he couldn't do that to you. He wouldn't put that choice on your shoulders and risk you making a decision you would eventually regret and hold against him. So, he let you go. Only this time, he hoped that history wouldn't repeat itself and you would come back to him.

The drive back home was quiet. The radio was on, but neither of them really heard it. Sarah stared glumly out the window while Joel tried his best to keep it together, telling himself over and over that the long-distance thing would work. If it failed for other people, it was because they weren't as strong or devoted. He knew what he felt, and what you had together was worth fighting for.

"Are you still going to take me to Katy's?" Sarah asked. Joel blinked and looked over at her.

"What?"

"Remember? We have that science project together, we need to have it done before end of Christmas break," she said, and he nodded as it began to come back to him.

"Yeah, sure. I can drop you off on my way home," he said quietly.

Sarah looked at him for a moment in silence, worry etching her face.

"Maybe I should stay home today," she said, but Joel shook his head.

"I'm fine, I should meet up with Uncle Tommy, anyway. We're behind on a job."

"Dad," Sarah said, and he turned to look at her as he approached a red light. "You're not fine."

Joel's mouth opened and then closed, unsure what to say.

"Why didn't she want to stay?" Sarah asked. Joel swallowed the lump in his throat.

"She's got a life in New York, baby girl. I can't ask her to stay."

"You didn't even ask her?!" she exclaimed, twisting around in her seat to glare at him.

"'Course I didn't ask her-"

"Dad!" Sarah screeched, and Joel jumped in his seat.

"Calm down! I'm tryin' to drive!" he yelled as he pulled down Katy's street.

"Did you tell her that you love her?"

Joel frowned at her as he pulled into the driveway.

"How did-"

"Oh my god, Dad! You are hopeless!" she said, exasperated. She opened the door and slid out of the seat but turned back to him before she shut the door.

"Go get her, Dad."

Joel was a cautious man. He was responsible. He had a level head and kept to himself. He wasn't a risk taker, he didn't speed, and he definitely didn't dramatically chase down women in airports, yet today he found himself doing exactly all of those things.

He had parked his truck in a spot he was very certain he shouldn't have parked in as he raced into the building, his eyes flicking across the departure screens before heading up to the counter.

"How can I help you?" a young, blonde woman asked, giving him her best customer service smile.

"I need to speak to someone on one of your flights, it's an emergency, and she's gettin' on a plane in-" he yanked his arm up to look at his watch. "Ten minutes. I need you to call the gate and ask them-"

"Sir, I am so sorry, we can't do that," the woman replied, cutting him off. Joel squinted at her name tag and looked back up at her.

"Teresa. Please. I am beggin' you, please pick up the phone and call the gate."

"We cannot hold up a flight, sir. Can't you just call her and ask her to-"

"I tried! She ain't pickin' up, she probably has her phone off already for the damn flight," he said, his heart hammering in his chest as he rubbed his palms aggressively over his face.

"If you buy a ticket, you can get past security and maybe you'll be able to reach the gate in time," she said quietly. He looked up at her, his eyes filling with hope.

"I'm not supposed to tell people that," she added softly as she typed into the computer. "Don't make me regret it."

"Thank you!" he whispered, pulling out his wallet and paying for the cheapest ticket they had. Once she handed him the ticket, he took off running towards the gates.

"Good luck!" Teresa called after him, leaning over the counter.

He checked the board ten times. Gate 52. He was sure of it.

He ran up just in time to see the plane backing away from the building, the door sealed shut. He stood there, his forehead resting against the window as he watched your plane leave.

What a stupid idea. He never should have done this. What was he thinking? This is real life. Of course he wouldn't catch you in time, and even if he did, you wouldn't have stayed. It would have just put you and him through more pain, and for what? Just so he -

"Joel?"

He swore in that moment, all the air left his body. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He thought he imagined it, that he was so far-gone that he was blurring fantasy with reality. But when he finally turned around, he saw you actually standing there, clutching your carry on in one hand and your phone in the other, tears streaming down your face.

"I couldn't do it," you whispered, your lower lip trembling.

"You stayed," he said in disbelief, his voice cracking as he rushed over and pulled you into his chest. You didn't leave me. You didn't leave Sarah.

"Why?" he asked. A tear slipped down his cheek, and he furiously wiped it away, still clutching you against him.

"The whole ride here, it felt like I was leaving a piece of me in that driveway, and I just kept asking myself what was I even going back for? What was left for me, besides my job?" you sniffled into his coat before continuing. "I guess sometimes people do crazy things for the person they love."

He pulled back and grabbed your face in his hands, his mouth crashing down on yours. You dropped your carry on and wrapped your arms around his neck, your tears mingling together as both of you refused to break away.

"I love you, too," he said, finally stepping back but still holding onto you as a wide smile spread across his face.

You giggled and tried to wipe some of the tears from his cheeks.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" he asked. "I tried callin' you, I couldn't get through. I thought you were on the damn plane."

"I was on the phone with my boss. I told him I quit," you said with a grin. "I had this whole speech planned, but all I managed to get out was I needed to stay in Texas. We are still working out all the details, but long story short, they offered me a fully remote position."

Joel was convinced the smile was never going to leave his face.

"Take me home, Joel," you told him. He pressed one more gentle kiss against your lips before draping an arm around your shoulders, picking up your bag, and leading you back the way he came.

As you walked out of the airport, the rest of your luggage unfortunately on its way to New York City, he realized that his fantasy was actually coming true. He had everything he could ever want. Everything he ever dreamed of became reality right before his very eyes.

He finally belonged to somebody who would be there for him and his daughter. Somebody who loved them and chose them and didn't abandon them.

And now that he had you, he was never going to let you go.

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nnight-dances · 2 months

Text

BABYDOLL

PAIRING: choi seungcheol x afab!reader

GENRE: fluff, angst, suggestive (nothing explicit)

TROPES: gym trainer!cheol, office worker!reader, you have INFJ syndrome until you start thirsting for cheol, mutual pining and perversion, wonwoo and lisa besties to lover side plot

LISTEN TO: babydoll by dominic fike

NOTE: unfortunately yes this is based on a brainrot ive been harboring for a real man but since cheol > all other men so here is my way of coping with it! i hope u like it and lmk what u think <3

You liked to think of yourself as a sane person. If anything, you had always had a reputation of having a good head on your shoulders, as the eldest daughter and the ideal student in class. You lived a life of discipline even out of college, waking up early to clean your apartment before you headed out to work and coming back late to a fridge full of meal-prepped tupperwares.

You're sane. So why is it that you can't bring yourself to behave like it around him?

For some context, you had decided your daily 15-minute walk to your apartment from the subway wasn't cutting it anymore. More than anything, you feel like you needed something more intense for the sake of your stiff body. You'd come home feeling creaky as floorboards and without a concrete plan to keep you in shape, you would end up doing some lousy stretching before hitting the sack.

But today that was going to change. You had enrolled as a member in the nearby gym, a solid place from the looks of it. It was your first time in a gym this fancy, equipped with the best of any machine you could imagine but also an ambient changing room where you looked forward to showering in.

You had come in fully prepared, clad in a workout set that was your favorite shade of green. When you'd pulled it out of your closet after all this time, you felt like the inanimate fabric might actually be thanking you for remembering its existence. You had an adequately sized water bottle that you had set to the side when you'd started your cardio for the day, waiting for the personal trainer the lady at the reception had told you would come meet you in 15.

At exactly the 15 minute mark on your treadmill, you'd felt a presence next to you and to your surprise, it was a man wearing the black shirt everyone working in the gym wore with a little crest on the chest. But this man was particularly… built. You didn't like to be indecent about another person when he had yet to introduce himself but the man before you was right out of your dreams– his shoulders wide, that his shirt did little to hide, and his buff arms that he politely crossed waiting for you to notice him.

You pop the earbud in your left ear out, rushing to turn the treadmill off as you turn to greet him. "Oh, I'm sorry– I didn't see you there– Wait, how did this thing stop–"

"Let me get that for you," the man – the dangerously attractive man – leaned over to press a red button that you should've spotted sooner than you did. The treadmill comes to a stop gradually and you try to think of the different ways you could vanish into thin air.

But then the trainer smiles at your panic-sriken experession revealing his dimples and you think you might faint before you'd had a chance to exercise. "Hi, I'm Seungcheol," he holds out his hand to you when you manage to step off the machine in one piece. "But you can call me Cheol." He points to the name-tag on his shirt– another detail you had missed when you were far too busy being a pervert over the general amazing-ness of his build. The name-tag says cheol in lowercase with a few hand-drawn cherries next to it.

"I'm Y/N," you say quietly, shaking his hand. "Sorry about that, by the way. I promise I'm not usually such a klutz. It's just my first time here so I'm kinda nervous."

Cheol simply blinks at you, "Nothing wrong with being a klutz. That's why I'm here. And as for being nervous…" He looks around at the rows of people on treadmills and various other cardio machines and shrugs. "You'll get a hang of it. Just follow me."

You don't have time to stand around gaping at Cheol's words so you do as he says, especially because you would rather die than have him think you're clumsy. But despite your effort to look put-together, you find your control slipping on the first machine he brings you to. It looks like it should be simple enough, a seat with handles for back-rows. Yet, when you sit on it, you can't seem to find the right position to start and when you do, it all feels wrong.

Then, Cheol comes up behind, a hand on your lower back pushing your spine up straight. His voice is gentle in your ear and you meet his eye in the mirror in front of you. "Hold still for me. Throw your shoulders back and focus on pulling with your back."

You do as he says and he gives you a nod of approval. "Remember to breathe," he says, his fingers now on your shoulders, pulling them back to keep them in the right posture. When you're done with the first set, you feel like you've forgotten how to breathe.

"You must be an office-worker," Cheol comments as he lets you take a minute to breathe.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," you frown.

"It's not the best thing for a person's spine. Makes for a stiff spine and whatnot."

You grimace when his words seem to describe you. "You're right. I can't sit with my spine straight for the life of me. Those back-rows almost sucked the life out of me."

"Then I hope you're ready for two more sets," Cheol chuckles, politely grabbing your precious water bottle out of your hands. "Two more sets," you repeat after him, praying that he actually meant no more sets and said the wrong thing. But he stares at you in the mirror, arms crossed, waiting for you to take your position.

By the time, you're done for the day, you think you might have seen God, with the way Cheol pushes you through the workout, throwing sets of shoulder presses and plank holds at you. He must hate you, you think, wiping the sweat off your neck with a hand towel as you watch him write something down on a notepad you only just noticed. You've been really out of it today, huh?

Still, Cheol's disdain for you aside, you couldn't help but marvel at him. His body was so lithe, lifting weights off the floor for you without a huff and demonstrating the exercises you had to do while narrating the movements like it was nothing. What's more, he had this amazing air of authority about him, not letting you give up on an exercise just because you felt like you couldn't do it. If the last set got physically impossible for you, he'd give you a hand but he didn't let you do anything half-earnestly. In short, he's really fucking cool.

You come to your senses when Cheol says, "All right, that's all for today. Thanks for the hard work." You nod, "Thanks, Cheol." You don't have it in you to say anything about the workout, mainly because you're embarrased at how weak you are so you simply smile an awkward smile and leave the room.

God knows you were the worst version of yourself in there, the complete opposite of the composed woman you were on the outside. It was mortifying, honestly, to be that helpless and in front of a man you were attracted – that might have been your greatest nightmare realized into reality.

Which is why you find yourself at the gym a day later, taking a deep breath before greeting the lady. "Hey, I'm here for my PT session," you start and then clearing your throat, you add, "With trainer Cheol?"

The lady looks surprised when she sees you for a split second but then she grins. "Of course, miss L/N. You're just on time." She types rapidly for another second before nodding at you, "Okay, you can start your 15 minutes of cardio and the trainer will meet you there."

You thank her before heading in, finding it a little strange that she looked surprised to see you but shrugging it off when you're welcomed by the lavender-scented changing room. You note to yourself to start buying more scented candles for your house as you place your bag and hoodie in a locker, taking just your bottle out.

You're a minute from finishing your cardio for the day when you hear your name being called. You turn to find Cheol staring at you with an indecipherable glint in his eyes. His arms are crossed, almost like a signature pose on a game character, muscles glistening under the bright gym lights. You stop the treadmill successfully this time as you wave at him, "Hey!"

"...You're back?"

You frown when you hear the question in his voice, "Yeah? Is that not what I'm supposed to do?"

"I mean…"

"I didn't come in yesterday because I woke up feeling like someone beat me up," you add with a pointed look, "But I think you'll forgive me if your customer retention is that low."

Cheol blinks with a smile gradually consuming his expression. "It's not that– I just didn't expect you to come back because you looked mad when you left last time. And well, office-workers are usually inconsistent so I definitely didn't think I'd see you twice in the same week…"

You cross your arms to match his pose, "I wasn't mad, I was a breath away from dropping dead."

"Right, that makes sense," Cheol agrees proudly and you shake your head, "And you must have a grudge against office-workers."

"I don't. All my friends are office-workers. I've just watched the job suck out all the life out of them so I'm not a fan."

"I think you may have defined the word grudge just now," you point out with a poorly disguised laugh.

Cheol pauses before looking you up and down with a cocked brow. "Someone's in a feisty mood today. I like that, it means you're ready for leg day."

You were not ready for leg day. You used to think that your legs would be strong enough since you'd done your share of squatting and running in your lifetime but faced with Cheol's insane workout set-up, you should've seen this coming. It starts off fine– a normal cycle of squats and lunges. But then he adds weights to the equation, increasing it after each set. Then, he takes you to the machines and makes sure you do each rep right. You have a hard time even walking over to the bench where he wants you to hip thrusts.

For a moment, Cheol's eyes betray softness. "You good? We can stop here if you want."

But for all your groaning and heaving, you weren't quite ready to give up yet, the adrenaline doing wonders to your head. "I can stop when I'm dead. Just tell me what to do next."

Cheol perks up at your challenge, "Okay, soldier, calm your horses. We'll do some hip thrusts now but let's start slow."

"You don't have to take it easy on me," you add, taking the barbell from his hands. He smiles, "Don't worry about that, I'm just getting started." You swallow the viscerality of the reaction that rises at his words and force yourself to get into the right position. Cheol must know what he's doing, towering over you with that nefarious smirk, monitoring your movements strictly while instructing you how exactly to maintain your form.

With your eyes fixed on him, you can't help but feel your mind wander, far beyond your control. You can't blame yourself– this angle is sinful. He looks so delectable with his arms crossed across his chest as usual and legs steadily placed close to yours on the ground in case he had to help you out. You wonder what he's like under the trackpants he sports, about his thighs and what they'd feel like under your palm. You wonder what he'd sound like–

You slip mid-rep with your grip on the barbell going loose and you yelp out as the weight bounces dangerously. Cheol's arm flash before you sight, swiftly grabbing the barbell before it hit your shin, throwing it aside with a loud clank. A few people working out near you give you concerned glances but all you can do is heave out a breathe at the sight of Cheol crouched so close to you.

He hauls you with one brawny arm behind your back, holding you close to his face so he could inspect you. "Are you okay?" he asks you gravely, eyes scanning your torso and then going down your legs.

You must be truly sick because even in this situation, you're thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. Because you're so close to Cheol you can feel his breath against your hot neck and you finally have an excuse to paw against his chest, and feel the sinewy warmth under his shirt.

"I'm fine," you muster, mouth unbelievably dry and Cheol takes the wideness of your gaze to be fear. He rests your body back against the bench and you mourn the loss of his touch silently. But then he presses the back of his hand against your cheek and then pats your head.

"You're fine," he repeats your words but with more conviction, a reassurance. "You scared the shit out of me." You breathe out a chuckle, "Sorry. You'd get into trouble if I got injured under your watch right?"

Cheol stares at you. "That's what you're worried about? Not that you almost lost a leg and a half just now?"

You look away with a flushed face. "No, I was never worried about that. I knew you'd catch it before anything happened."

"You should be more worried, then," he responds with a shake of his head, "I'm not perfect. I won't make it every single time."

"Sorry," you sigh, "I'll be more careful." You're quick to give in, especially because you could not stand the reason behind this mess.

You leave after that with Cheol firmly refusing to go on, with something about not taking more chances. You sense something akin to disappointment in his words and feel a pit in your stomach as you head home. You'd started to bond with him finally, with your determination to show up, but this felt like it put you back to square one. Cheol, as reliable as he was, seemed reluctant to open up to you and where he'd finally started to warm up to you, your slip-up today probably reminded you that you were a customer who he needed to train.

Your sleep is fitful that night because you can't stop thinking about your accident. Can't stop thinking what might have happened if you didn't mess up. And then you picture Cheol and his watchful gaze over you the whole time you're there. God, you feel crazy.

–

"What's crazy is that I got a whole box of them for 20 bucks on sale!" Lisa exclaims. You nod at her anecdote about scoring extremely cheap protein powder that slightly concerned you about the quality of the product your co-worker was consuming. Lisa had caught you that afternoon in the lunch room, awkwardly stretching out your legs. When she grilled you about it, you'd revealed your recent gym membership and the consequent soreness.

"I've heard drinking lemon coffee before workouts is really helpful," she adds with an excited grin. Lisa, as it turns out, was a huge gym rat. "And oh, don't ever go to the gym if you haven't slept at least a good 8 hours."

"What?"

"Yeah, lack of sleep combined with exertion is a nightmare for your body."

You tap your nail on the table nervously, worried that would mean you couldn't go to the gym today. Just then, Wonwoo enters the break room with a knowing chuckle. "What bullshit is Lisa feeding you this time, Y/N?"

"Hey!" Lisa protests, "I'm just sharing my years of advice with her since she just started the gym." Your glares at Lisa go unnoticed as she goes ahead and reveals your newest hobby to the man.

You groan, "You make it sound like such a big deal. It's not, I'm just finding ways to keep myself occupied."

"You must be getting old," Wonwoo says as he slides into a chair next to you. "But if I know anything about the gym, it's that it'll keep you young. Especially with the guys that you'll see there."

You stare at Wonwoo, "What the fuck is wrong with you guys? I can't have one normal conversation around here." The man simply elbows you with a chesire grin, "Oh, come on, Y/N. You're always so proper and put-together, it makes me think you're not even living your life."

You go silent, ears redenning at his words. "Wonwoo, that's a little rude," Lisa accuses him, "Y/N's the coolest member of our team, how could disrespect–"

"I'm not, I just mean that you've achieved most of your goals now," he shrugs, "But you probably have a side that you always keep in check. Maybe you should let go a little?"

–

For all your attempts at ignoring Wonwoo's unsolicited advice, you end up thinking about it the whole day. And the next, when you make your way back to the gym. You're a little reluctant to, given you were still embarrassed about your incident last time. But stupid Wonwoo and his way with words.

You found yourself overthinking your outfit for the day, ending up wearing a baby blue sports bra with a strappy back and black sweatpants. You had to admit that it was quite flattering on your figure, with your back tattoo on display, one that said babydoll in a cursive font, a reference to one of your favorite songs and just generally, a cheeky nudge to whoever was reading in the direction of your preferences.

Today, you spot Cheol across the cardio room but with another client, a tall blonde woman who was jogging leisurely at a speed that would have you gasping for breath. She looked like she was in great shape, a flat stomach revealed by her cropped bra and an ass for days that her shorts accentuated. Cheol looked so different than when he was with you, eyes smiling as he continuously hyped the girl up, a proud beam on his face. You don't think you'd even seen all his teeth on display before.

You force yourself to take a treadmill where you can't see him, turning the music on your earbuds all the way up to get your head straight. But every song you listen to reminds you of him. You ignore it anyway, increasing the speed on your treadmill when you catch a glimpse of him escorting the lady out. He really looked like he was enjoying himself, laughing loudly at something she says in a soft voice. She was in a league of her own. Heck, so was Cheol.

The reminder is unpleasant and you have a hard time putting on a smile when Cheol comes to stand at your side with an expectant grin. But in comparison to before, this grin seems dull and his eyes look like they're calculating something, not delighted. You had a feeling this was going to be another difficult session for you.

"That's a nice outfit," he comments when you turn around to him, covered in sweat from your jealousy-driven run. You don't respond to his compliment, feeling like it was empty and honestly, losing your will to please him after what you'd witnessed. You get off the treadmill with a sigh and roll your shoulders back, "What am I doing today?"

Cheol hesitates for a split second at your curtness but moves on quickly, guiding you to the dumbbells. "Arms and back for the lady today," he announces grandly, handing you two dumbbells labelled 10 lbs. You raise your brows at him, wondering if his decision had anything to do with your exceptionally bare back. Reigning in your curiosity, you do as he says.

The first few sets of various basic exercises go by well, so much so that you catch Cheol mumbling a good job in your ear when you pass him the dumbbells. The compliment goes straight to your head – and well, elsewhere – but you control your thoughts, not when you were finally feeling like yourself and not like a perverted idiot lusting over your hot hym trainer.

But then you're at the back-row machine and you lose your drive, glancing uneasily at Cheol. He simply gestures for you to get started. "You know the drill" are his brief words of explanation.

The first set goes by okay with you struggling to finish the last rep but by the time you're in the middle of the second set, you feel a numbing strain in your back, making it a Herculean task to even tug at the handles. You spot Cheol walking over behind you and the pads of his fingers press into your back, somehow landing exactly where the fabric of your bra left you exposed.

Your eyes jump to his in the mirror, the contact sending a wave of heat to all kinds of places and feeling incredibly inappropriate for some reason. Cheol's eyes remain unyielding when you meet them though, his grip extending to your shoulder to pull them back. "Come on," his words splay out like breath on your neck, "Keep going."

You manage the last few reps with his help, groaning in pain when he finally lets you go. He pulls away as soon as you're done, sqaushing any hopes that you had of him sharing the vibe that you had felt. He even takes a large step away to give you air before the next round. You pout as you closely observe him in the mirror, wondering why he was so cold to you. He had seemed warmer a few days ago when you'd shown up to contradict his expectation, maybe even warmer than he had been with that lady earlier. So how come he's back to being distant now?

"Something on your mind?" Cheol asks, coming to your side, "You've been glaring at me for the past minute."

"Nothing."

"Really? You've been weird this whole time you know," he presses. "It's my duty to make sure you're satisfied as my client. So if I'm doing anything wrong…"

You sigh at his words. Satisfied, huh? If Cheol had even the slightest hint to your thoughts every time you were close to him– God, he'd probably drop you as a client altogether. "I'm fine," you say quietly, looking down at your hands instead of at him. You were doing so well at keeping it together and you didn't want to lose your progress to some whim. "Just tired from work."

"Have you been sleeping okay?"

"As okay as I can."

"Have you considered asking for a day off?"

You scoff, "I'm not on my death bed. A few hours of lost sleep won't kill me."

"It will in the long run," Cheol retorts, lips set in a thin line, "And that's the second time you've talked about dying before giving up with me."

You're starting to wish he would stop with his questions. "I'm not suicidal, Cheol," you start, "And I'm not losing sleep because of work anyway."

"Oh, really? What is then? A guy?"

You scowl at his words, "I'd rather not talk about this anymore. It's not funny."

"Didn't say it was," he mumbles but returns to his stance behind you. You feel his palm on your back again, "Let's go for the last set, then."

You pull hard, getting in a few good reps before your back muscles start to give up again. Cheol's in action, forcing your muscles to stay engaged as you continue pulling him. "Breathe for me, doll, you're doing so well. Just five more reps." Forget the fact that you'd done your required 20 reps of the back rows, when you hear Cheol's praise you feel your energy spike up, somehow pulling off 5 more reps.

He lets go with a chuckle, "I knew you had it in you." You slump over, dropping your head in your hands, reeling. Did you hear him right? Doll? Your stomach turns with butterflies, the thought of him using your tattoo exactly in the way you'd intended – fuck, you think you could give the man the best head of his life right now if he let you.

But instead you pretend to be wiped out as you stand up without making any eye contact with him, crouching over your water bottle and taking a few sips. You realized that Cheol was being himself with you, now that you think about it, his sarcastic jabs and his cynical questioning. He was worried about you but didn't want to burden you with it. But to think that you'd managed to get him to praise you despite his aloofness, it made you want to do unthinkable things.

"All right, let's do some shoulder presses next," Cheol says, deciding you'd had enough of a break. You silently nod, following him to the bench. Surprisingly enough, you make it through the rest of the workout without a hitch, even earning yourself an approving hoot from Cheol along the way.

"You're on fire today, aren't you?" he beams and you want to imprint the sight in your mind. "Come on, I'll have do some good stretching today so you won't wake up feeling like someone beat you up again."

You chuckle at the reference to your earlier comment and gladly follow him to the mats where he guides you through some stretches. Then he perches himself in front of you, holding out his hands. "Give me your hands."

You look at him questioningly and he simply waits. Slowly, you put your hands in his, noticing the way his wrap around yours completely. He's big compared to you, easily pulling you toward him while keeping his feet planted above your knees so you could stretch your spine out. You let out a moan at the feeling in your spine, "That feels good."

His hand wrap around your wrist next, resting them on his shoulders– and you swear to God, he's got to be doing this to you on purpose. All you can think about is his skin under your palms, the hard shoulders that you didn't imagine you'd be touching. He continues to mess with you; his hands are on your shins, massaging their way up your legs– your calves, your knees, your thighs.

You pull away with abruptly and his hands dance back down your legs. Cheol's looking up at you with hooded eyes, as if he can read every thought that's running through your head. "Good?" he asks and the vague nature of the question does nothing to help your situation.

You clear your throat, "Yes. Am I done for the day?"

Cheol makes you suffer through some more stretches, ones where he finds an excuse to get his hands on you– an arm stretch with him pulling you from one side or a back stretch where he crossed your arms down firmly. Your head was all but spinning when you're finally done.

"Okay, you're done. Thanks for the session," he exclaims and as you turn to leave, he stops you with a hand on your elbow. "Oh and– Listen, I don't know what's on your mind but don't worry so much. You're doing great, at least in the gym. Sleep well tonight, doll."

–

The only explanation for Cheol's behavior was that he hated you. Because why else would he enjoy torturing you like this? You had never thought you showing up mad to a session would lead to him doing all that– calling you doll of all things. You had all sorts of thoughts in your head right now and none of them you could voice out loud without embarrassing yourself.

That night, you do sleep well, a little too well even. You have sweet dreams after all, dreaming of Cheol in your bed, climbing up your relaxed figure while his hands trailed up your legs, not stopping at your thighs. They make it all the way and the sound that leaves you is undignified but Cheol meets your mouth like he predicted your reaction. His touch burns you and his tongue leaves you feeling like you were starving. You sweat in his arms, his words sending you over the edge in no time.

You wake up the next morning to a mess in your panties, the sight leaving you truly dumbfounded. If you had thought you had come close to regaining your sanity in the last few days, you might just have lost any such hope. You rush to shower, making it cold on purpose so you could cleanse any dirty thoughts away with the remains of last night.

But Cheol's hold on you is strong, even when he isn't forcing you to go through the last few reps of an exercise. You enter the office in a daze that day, going about your daily tasks without a real thought behind your eyes.

It's only when you overhear a conversation in the break room that you come to your senses.

"I'm thinking of changing my hair," Kazuha tells Katie with a thoughtful hum, "But I don't know what to do." You gaze at the younger girls in front of you. Kazuha had long hair the shade of mocha and Katie sported a short blonde bob that bounced when she peeked over her friend's shoulder to look at her phone.

"Oh, you know what you would suit? Blonde streaks!"

"Really?" Kazuha sounds dubious, "I don't know. I'm more of a dark hair girl."

"I know, that's why I said streaks, stupid," Katie pulls out her phone and scrolls through something that looks like an album of hair pictures. "Something like this– Just your bangs, or the ends of your hair."

Intrigued by the conversation, you approach the pair. "Hey, guys," you let yourself known and the two nod quickly when they see you.

"Oh, hi, Y/N!"

"Sorry to interrupt, but I… I had a question."

Katie looks excited, leaning forward with a sneaky grin. "Sure! What is it? Are you seeing someone?"

"What? No, that's not it," you protest, uneasily playing with your mug. "Um, actually, I was… this is a completely hypothetical question, okay?" The two nod eagerly. "If I was to know a guy who was a gym rat of sorts… What kinds of things would you say might interest him?"

"Interest him?" Kazuha says, "Aren't gym rats only into other gym rats?"

"Yeah, I think so, too," Katie echoes, "When you live for the gym, you'd only want a partner who understands the lifestyle. But I did have this friend…"

She trails off and you prod, "A friend?"

"Well, she had a crush on this guy at her gym so she tried to get his number and he–" she cuts herself off with a light laugh, "He said she was too plain. God, he was an asshole. My friend had the latest hairstyle and everything. She cried over him for a week. I told her not to spend so much money on the membership if she was just going there for a guy…"

You nod, "Right… That sounds awful." Eventually, Kazuha and Katie go back to discussing something on their phones and you excuse yourself.

–

You don't go to the gym for the rest of that week, mainly because you're afraid to see Cheol, still not over the wet dream you'd had of him. Thankfully, there hadn't been any more but just the one occurence had you feeling like you'd committed a crime so you stayed away to keep your conscience clean.

A week later, you finally force yourself out of your guilty spiral and head to the gym. At the reception, you pause before heading in for cardio. "Hey, Seol," you call out and she looks up from the computer. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"No, please, ask away."

"Is… Does Cheol have a lot of clients?"

Seol looks amused at your question and takes her time riling you up before saying, "Yes, ma'am. He's one of the top trainers in our gym. Sometimes, we have clients asking to switch over to be trained by him because they see him training other people."

"Ah, I see," you say, keeping your tone as flat as possible, "And can I ask how I ended up with him?"

"Oh, well, it was just good timing," Seol says with a polite smile, "He had a client leave after she got promoted at work so you joining worked perfectly."

You nod at her response, thanking her as you head in. So it was just luck.

You don't know what you had expected– Of course, Cheol was popular. You weren't the only one with eyes around here and looks aside, he was genuinely great at his job. You didn't take that for granted but it didn't help the pit in your stomach, when you realized you were just a replacement client on his roster.

Great. You've been in the gym for less than 10 minutes and the crazies have already started.

To make things even worse, you see Cheol next to another woman yet again. This time she's short, a petite figure with long wavy hair and you almost laugh out loud at the situation. Someone must be playing a sick joke on you because how else was every single one of his clients so much prettier than you?

You have to restrain your thoughts before they dig you any deeper in a hole of self-depreciation so you pick out a treadmill away from them.

"Evening, doll," Cheol pipes up next to you, voice cheery as he pats your arm. You contain yourself as you stop your jog and get off. "Do you have to call me that?" you throw, giving him your best icy stare.

He simply grins, "What? Doll? But it's a cute name."

"I already have a name," you cut in, "And someone might get the wrong idea if they heard you."

Cheol regards you with a glint in his eye. What you would do to hear his thoughts. "There's nothing to get wrong," he finally says, "So don't worry."

If anything, his words are a harsh slap of reality. It brings you back to earth effectively so maybe you ought to thank him for it. You make it through that workout without an indecent though– well, okay, there might have been a few but nothing that was enough to put you in a life-threatening position. In fact, you make it through a whole week's worth of sessions with those words.

It's Friday when it all goes down the drain– your hard work at regaining normality with Cheol and your sanity. You're done for the day and in the middle of packing up, when you see Cheol being approached by a woman. Looking up, you realize it's the tall blonde from a few weeks ago. She speaks quickly and quietly but you hear the words drinks on me tonight.

Your stomach churns and you look away without thinking, hoping to run away before you had to hear any more. But Cheol's voice is clear when he responds, "Sorry, I can't. I'm busy tonight."

You hate the way you're relieved at his rejection, the lack of any remorse in his tone and the way he quickly turns back to you. The blonde woman looks dejected and blinks at his back a few times before leaving.

"Wow," you comment when she's gone, "That was cold."

"You think so?" he asks as if it wasn't clear as day. "I was just making myself clear."

"So you have a no-client dating policy?"

"Nah, not really," Cheol shrugs as he rolls up the mat you had used a few minutes ago. "Plus, she's not even my client anymore."

"Oh," you breathe and then feel a sudden burst of courage run through your veins. "So if I was to ask you out…"

Cheol tilts his head, lips lilting, "What about you asking me out?"

Asshole, of course he's making you spell it out for him. You bite back a smile, "Nothing. Just a thought." With that, you leave him hanging, exiting the gym as if you hadn't proposed to take him out on a date without any real conclusion.

It was complicated, you explain to yourself later. For one, you didn't even think he was into you like that. Sure, he could be touchy and flirty around you when he wanted you, and yeah, maybe he didn't call you anything other than doll, but in real terms, those actions had no meaning behind them. They were just that.

And you didn't enjoy putting yourself out like that– asking someone else out. It had always been the other way around, the guys asking you out after days of you charming them. And where you'd always been anything but yourself with Cheol, you weren't ready to let go of your reputation just yet.

–

Maintaining your reputation takes on a questionable turn that weekend when you pass a hair salon on your way home from shopping for some much-needed home supplies. You stop because the sign outside catches your eye. In flashy bubble letters, it reads GYU'S SALON: come by if you want to rediscover your wild side. You find yourself smiling, hand on the door before you have a second to debate it.

Someone at the counter welcomes you and asks you to wait for a moment while they grab a stylist. You take a seat on the couch and look inside the salon. It's not too packed but there's a few customers, most of them women. You see that most of them are young and the observation comforts you. In particular, you notice a girl taking selfies with her new styled hair– a short layered look with blue ends. It looked cool but too bright for you to pull off.

A kind-looking lady with hair the color of plum approaches you. "Hello, are you here for a hair styling session?"

You stand up, "Ah, yeah, I am. Sorry, I don't have an appointment."

"That's fine, I'm free now," she says with a smile, "You must've seen the sign." You don't how she knows but you simply smile back at her. She nods, "Okay, come with me."

The lady's named April, you find out, and she's the funniest person you've met in a while. She's also an expert in hair, it seems, because she can tell the last time you cut your hair was neary two years ago and even points out that you wash your hair every other day. Eventually, you tell her you want to do something different with your hair but nothing too crazy.

"Define crazy."

"Well, this is my first time dying my hair. But I don't want anything too light and please don't cut my hair too short."

"Gosh, you sure have a lot of demands." Then after a moment of running her hands through your hair, playing with its strands, she comes to a decision. "All right, missy, I have something in mind for you."

Two hours later, you have red hair but not too red. It was the exact shade of wine under the salon lights but when you stepped out of the salon, it was more a dark brown. You'd thanked and tipped April generously for her work because she had come through on her word. In the mirror back at home, you admired your hair. April had trimmed off the ends but made sure your hair retained its length. You didn't regret your decision when you had a whole night to overthink it, thrilled whenever you caught sight of your head in a reflective surface. April might have been God's sweet gift to you.

–

That week you're showered in compliments at work with a coworker stopping at your desk every time they realized it was you sitting there typing away in red hair. You'd been somewhat worried that the change wasn't drastic enough for many to notice but you're proven wrong. Kazuha is the first one you run into that day, meeting her in the elevator and it takes her a glance to notice the new hair.

"Y/N? Your hair is so pretty!" she's spinning you around so she can get a better look, "Oh my God, where'd you get it done? It's amazing." You thank her and vaguely describe the salon you'd found by chance.

Later that evening, you walk unusually slow to the gym, taking your time to dwell on the response you might get from Cheol. You're close to the entrance when you see a familiar figure a few feet away. Before you can confirm your suspicion, you also spot an unmissable head of blonde hair.

It's her again. You feel your heart lurch in your chest as you unwittingly stop in your tracks. She's talking to Cheol, her back to you. If it wasn't for the expression on Cheol's face being a clear one of panic, you might have walked your way without a worry (other than the ones that would've spurred out of jealousy). You aproach them cautiously, wanting to get a better understanding of the situation before interfering.

"...is just mean. You led me on! You told me I was–"

"I'm sorry, Haein, if you feel that way but that's just part of my job," Cheol's voice is strained with suppressed emotions and you speed up, "I need you to stop cornering me–"

"Cheol!" you call out loudly, causing both of them to turn towards you. The blonde, Haein apparently, looks annoyed to find you there and you quietly walk over to Cheol's side. He's quiet when you poke him with your elbow. "What're you doing out here? You're gonna be late to my session!"

"Excuse me, miss, but I was in the middle of–"

"I'm sorry but I pay this guy an unbelievable amount of money to train me," you say in your most obsequious voice, "and I work really hard for the money I make. So unless you're about to pay me more than I pay him just to talk to him, why don't we call it a day here?"

When Haein storms off with a few unintelligible curses your way, you let out a laugh of disbelief. Cheol releases a chuckle from beside you, sighing in relief. "That was–" he starts, "Thanks, Y/N. You saved my ass."

"No worries," you reply, "but I wasn't entirely kidding about what I said. You start showing up late to our sessions and I'll start cutting the paycheck."

"You realize that's not how it works, right? You have to pay the same amount of–"

"I don't care how it works, Cheol," you interrupt him.

"For what it's worth," you hear him say as the two you finally enter the gym through its glass doors. "You were pretty cool back there. I felt so safe and protected with you throwing so many big words at her."

You turn to him with a frown, "Big words? I just talked really fast so she couldn't afford to call my bluff."

Cheol laughs at your confession, "It worked. She looked spooked when she finally ran off."

"So she's been bothering you even after you rejected her?"

"Yeah, looks like she thought we had a thing," he mumbles, "but all I did was my job and there's no nicer way to put it."

You grimace, waving at Seol who perks up at the sight of you arriving with Cheol. "That's tough. You should do something about it. I won't always be around to save the day, you know?"

"You're right," Cheol teases, "I need to become independent."

You pause in front of the changing room, "Okay, I'll go put my things away–"

Cheol breaks you off when he takes a step too close to you, voice dropping to a whisper. "Your hair's cute, doll. I'm a lucky man to have a pretty girl like you worry about me."

And then, he's gone with a flash of his smirk. As if he hadn't just left your veins blazing with the rush his words had caused. You drop to your knees inside the changing room, legs weaker than a day of working them out under Cheol's supervision. There's just no way he isn't messing with you on purpose, right?

But then you recall his words from earlier– all I did was my job and there's no nicer way to put it – and you're not so sure anymore. On the one hand, it was objectively not part of his job to call you doll or to have his hands wander your body or to constantly pester you with questions when you seemed out of it or to call you pretty. But at the same time, you couldn't say it was just him being nice to you, making sure you didn't feel unseen.

Your worries find an answer later that day when you're leaving the changing room after another training session. Cheol intercepts you with a look that you've never seen before– uncertainty.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Yeah, sure, what's up?" you let him pull you aside to a more secluded area behind the reception.

"I know you're too humble to take it seriously but I really do owe you one for earlier," Cheol rubs the back of his neck, a boyish grin on his face, "If you hadn't sepped in, I might have had to agree to go out with her."

"Cheol," you sigh, "I just did that because you looked uncomfortable. You don't have to thank–"

"Thanking you isn't enough," he stresses, "I want to repay you."

You cross your arms, the phrasing of his request piquing your curiosity. "And how exactly do you want to repay me?"

"Let me take you out for dinner."

You hate the way your eyes betray surprise at his words, his pleased smile only doing wonders to the adrenaline rush that slapped you. "What?"

"I know a good place near here but it'll be packed today," Cheol pulls out his phone out of his pants, "But if I make a reservation, we'll be able to get in this week."

"I…"

"Is that a yes?" his eyes are focused on yours, waiting for an answer.

"Sure, but is it okay for us to…?" you find yourself unable to complete your question. "Why wouldn't it be?" Cheol tilts his head, "We're both adults and it's consensual."

"I guess you're right," you admit. Cheol places his phone in front of you, "Your number, doll."

–

If you had thought you were insane a few weeks ago, now you were convinced that you were. Ever since you'd exchanged numbers with Cheol, all you could do was stare at his contact. You'd gone simple, just saving him as Cheol, not before you considered adding a cherry emoji next to his name. It was too much, you decided, settling for the plain name instead.

"Whose murder is she planning this time?"

Wonwoo's question brings you out of your daze and you glare at him. "Yours if you don't shut the fuck up."

"Woah," Wonwoo holds up his hands in surrender, glancing at Lisa, "You sure she isn't up to something?"

"She's got a date tonight," Lisa reveals without a hint of hestitation in her voice. You kick the girl under the table, "Lisa! You're just gonna sell me out like that?"

"Sorry, Y/N, but I have a 100% honesty policy with Woo," she sighs, looking at Wonwoo dreamily. Right, you had almost forgotten. After months of pining for each other, the two had finally confessed to each other, becoming the office's newest couple. It was very sweet and also very inconvenient when you wanted to confide in your best friend.

"Remind me to get a new and single best friend," you murmur to yourself. Wonwoo drags a chair across from you, "So who's the lucky guy?"

"There is no guy. Just a funeral. For you."

"You're so funny today, Y/N," Wonwoo has the audacity to laugh, "Is it someone from your gym? No wonder you've been looking leaner these days. A little extra motivation to hit the gym can go a long way."

"I don't know why I bother hiding things anymore," you cave, "and for the record, it's not because of any guy that I'm getting fitter."

You find yourself doubting your own words that night when you're sitting across from the man, keeling over in laughter at something he said about the menu in this place. It's a unique restaurant with moody lighting and square tables for two scattered across the wooden floors. Most of the tables were already filled with couples, peering over a menu together and sharing a glass of wine.

It's unnervingly romantic, you realize as you sit, tucking the tail of your dress under you. Cheol's eyes never leave you, weighing your reactions to the place. "It's so quiet here," you whisper, still surveying your surroundings, feeling hot under his undivided attention. You hadn't been prepared to be this close. Sure, you had been closer to him in the gym but this was your first time with him in a place outside of the gym, where you couldn't pretend your feelings for him were part of an alter ego you'd made up.

Cheol is real right now, his knees brushing against your bares ones under the table. He looks different tonight, clad in a nice navy shirt whose buttons were unsuprisingly strained against his chest. It was unfair how attractive he looked in a plain outfit.

"You like wine?"

You look at him with a start and nod quickly, "Yeah, I do."

"And what about me?" Cheol sneaks the question in, teeth baring as he grins at your panicked expression. "I'm just kidding. Sorry, I can't help it. You're cute when you're embarrassed."

"And you're just as much of an asshole when you're not in the gym."

He shrug, defined collarbone peeking out at you at the movement. "I'm always myself," he tells you.

The night progresses slowly with Cheol taking his time getting to know you, raining you in question after question about your life– when did you start working? Did you have siblings? Why did you move to the city so young? How many exes did you have? What was your favorite kind of coffee?

"You have a dog?" you exclaim when he shows you a photo of a white Maltese with a doting smile on his face. You hit his arm across the table, "Why wasn't that the first thing you told me?"

Cheol laughs with his head thrown back, "Really? That's what gets you? My dog? I'd take you to meet her but she's living with my brother because I got too busy."

"She's so cute, Cheol! I didn't think you of all people would have a dog."

"What do you mean, me of all people?"

You pause before thinking over your words. "You seem… distant. I thought you would like living alone so nobody bothers you."

Cheol sighs at your words, "What have I done for you to have such an impression of me?"

"I don't know, something about the way you're always cynical? Or your general condescending tone? Or that one time when you told me you hated your friends for being office-workers?"

"Okay, so you clearly like exaggerating things," he protests, "I love my friends, I just wish they lived more. And I'm not cynical, just…"

"Realistic?" you finish his sentence, "Trust me, that's what I tell people, too. But it's all a lie."

"You have a lot to say for someone who actually lives all by herself," Cheol accuses you with a sip of his wine, eyes narrowing, "And I feel like you're way colder than I am. It took me a week to get you to start calling me by my name and not just wait for me to look at you when you needed something."

You groan, "Can you not bring that up? I'm still embarrassed about that."

"Cute," he chirps, "But seriously, you're kinda scary when you're in your head. I get the chills when I imagine what you must be like at work."

"You imagine what I'm like at work?" you tease him, leaning back in your chair.

"You're the one who's telling me you're not like this at work," he points out, "Whatever that means."

"It means I'm cool as a cucumber," you finally say, "I'm a little scary but only to people who deserve it. But I'm mostly just cool. Or at least I was."

Cheol waits for you to go on and you scrape at your empty plate with a fork, missing the pasta you had just devoured just so you could distract yourself. "I was cool before I… met you, I guess."

"Really?" Cheol does nothing to hide the glad grin that breaks out on his face, "What did I do?"

"Pushed me to my limit," you roll your eyes, "You forced me out of my comfort zone."

"So in other words, I bring out your wild side?"

You flush at his choice of words, "Well, I don't know if I'd say that but… maybe."

–

Your date with Cheol is a dream; he pays for the meal, walks you out with a hand on your waist. He even kisses you goodnight, a kiss that's on your mind for the longest time. His lips are beyond your dreams, plump and demanding on yours. It's too bad neither of you make another move because the night ends at a kiss.

You can't wait to see him again, but as it turns out the following week means hell for you at work. You're absolutely swamped in your new assignments, with it being the middle of the month. There's increased visits from superiors and your boss insists you attend every meeting, a gesture that promised you that a promotion was in sight.

It's that hope that keeps you going. You pull a few all-nighters to draft various proposals now that you're your boss' direct right-hand, working earnestly to improve the stellar performance that you were finally getting recognition for. It's on Friday evening that your boss finally notices the bags under your eyes, scolding you for pushing yourself hard. She rushes you out of the office, ordering you to take the day off or she'd force you to.

You reluctantly do as she says, feeling hollow when you step outside in the fresh air. Your eyes feel heavy and you can't say you feel like doing much. Then, you remember Cheol's touch on your skin and with rejuvenated enthusiasm, you take your phone out.

You consider texting him but then settle on calling him since he'd be too busy to check his messages. But as it turns out, he's too busy to pick up too. After some thinking, you decide you'd pay him a visit in the gym anyway, ignoring the lightheaded feeling that threatened to consume you.

Seol greets you at the counter, "Y/N! We missed you this week! Are you okay?"

You sigh, "Yeah, sorry. Work stuff. Is Cheol in?" She nods, much to your relief. "Yeah, he's just finishing up with a client. He should be free for a session in 10."

You thank her as you head in. You knew it wasn't the best idea to work out in this state, but all you could suddenly think about was how Cheol might've taken your absence for the week to be your response to the date. And you hated the thought of that, so you rush to the changing room.

You're 5 minutes into walking on the treadmill when Cheol's familiar presence makes itself known. "Y/N?"

"Cheol, hey," you say, slowing down, "Sorry I wasn't in this whole week, I've been really busy with work."

"That's fine, I figured it'd be something like that." You're surprised he takes it so well, even offering you a small smile. Then, he notices the way you look, eyebags and all. "Hey, doll, are you okay? You look tired."

"Oh, I'm fine, just a little out of it."

"Okay, why don't you take a rest?" He stops the machine before you have a say, his arm firmly pulling you off. His hand then comes to rest against your cheek and you smile against his touch. "You're warm, doll. I don't think you should be working out today."

"But–"

"I don't want to hear it," he's pulling you out of the cardio room without hearing you out. "Come with me. Is there a friend you can call to pick you up?"

"Um, sure, but I can just go home on my own–"

"Just do as I say if you want to live to see another day– And I swear to god, if you make another joke about death, I'll hurt you myself."

"Ooh," you coo at him as he enters the elevator with you, hitting the 5th floor. "Threatening me now? Is that how you treat a pretty girl?"

Cheol's breath is shaky when he lets out a sigh, averting his gaze. "What about when the pretty girl ghosts me for a whole week?"

"I told you, Cheol, I was busy–"

"I know, I know. I'm just teasing. I was just scared I did something wrong for a second." He doesn't let you say anything when the elevator opens, continuing, "Anyway, you can rest in my office while your friend comes to get you."

"You have an office?"

Cheol laughs at your shocked question, "Yeah, that's what I get for bringing in the most clients here. Anyway, go in and take a seat. I'll get you something to drink." You walk into his office, bewildered by the room. He had a nicer desk than you did and little polaroids decorated the board next to his window. It was a cozier place than you would expected to find in a gym. You sit in a chair, giggling at a photo of Kkuma on the wall, wearing a bow the same shade of pink as her tongue.

"So adorable," you say under your breath.

"I know I am," Cheol startles you, coming up next you with a bottle of water.

You elbow him away, starting to feel unusually hot out of the blue. "Sorry, I know it's kinda hot," he apologizes, "I asked them to turn the air up but it takes a while for it to actually work."

You don't say anything, focused on getting your vision to stop losing focus and the man takes a seat across from, concern painting his face when he catches your dazed look. "Hey, look at me. Take a deep breath for me. What's wrong?"

"Hot," you mumble, pressing a hand against your sweaty forehead. It felt like the short five minute walk was catching up to you all at once, your heart starting to hammer wildly in your chest. You press against it in pain.

"Doll," Cheol's voice mellows out, his hand taking yours in his. "Drink some water for me." You do as he says, but the water is lukewarm, doing nothing to help. You swallow hard against the dryness in your throat.

"Okay, that's not going to work," he lets out. And then, his hands are your waist, grabbing the fabric of your shirt, "Y/N, I'm going to take your top off, 'kay?"

Even in your queasy state, you manage to jump at his touch on your bare stomach. "Cheol, I…"

"Trust me, doll," he leans down to meet your eyes. "It'll help." With an obedient hum, you let Cheol take control, him peeling the layer of fabric off your skin. You feel much better almost instantly, the warm air hitting your bare skin. You sigh out as you rest your head in your hands.

"Thanks," you breathe, "I feel like shit."

"That's okay." You look up at him when you catch the hitch in his voice. Through the fuzziness in your vision, you see Cheol avoiding your gaze. You reach for his bicep in your confusion, "Cheol."

He turns to you, eyes wavering as they trail down your neck. You feel heat shoot to your neck at his gaze and he coughs awkwardly. "Sorry," his voice is hoarse, "I'm not looking."

"You can," you state boldly, turning to him. You were wearing an old bra, a plain black thing that had kept you company for decades now, the lace in the back unravelling with wear. But the way Cheol looked at you right now, you could've been wearing the fanciest lingerie in season.

"Y/N," he warns you.

You're feeling better by the moment, vision clearing as your body tempertaure returns to normal. But instead of overheating, you find yourself losing focus for a different reason. You shift closer to Cheol, "If you're embarrassed, do something about it."

Your words stun him, his eyes wide as he stares back to make sure you were the one saying them. But all he finds is unbridled lust in your gaze, hand clawing at his knee, begging him to do something, anything that could help your state.

In a flash, Cheol's shirt is off and you drink in the sight before you hungrily. The sight you'd only ever imagined and dreamed about is finally yours to enjoy and you're going to make every moment worth it. When Cheol hears the desperate mewl you let out, he's pulling you close, hands encompassing your waist. You're on his lap before you know, knees hitting the valley of his pelvis.

"Fuck, you're hotter than I imagined," you groan out, hands roaming his bare back. He bites back an undignified sound at your comment, "Doll, you're making this really hard for me."

You feel his body burning up under yours and you're not sure which one of you is out of breath, but you're panting into his mouth the next thing you know. "This is crazy," he mumbles into you and you can't help but chuckle. "I know," you shoot, thumbs on his cheeks, tracing the skin around his lips. "But I think I went crazy the day I set my eyes on you."

Your shameless admission has Cheol groaning into your skin, his lips attaching to your neck. You feel him bury his face in your hair, inhaling deeply before he finds your face again. "You don't know the kinds of thoughts I've had about you," he laughs, eyes hooded, "I can't even think about you without losing it."

You're about to reveal a part of your suffering when your phone starts ringing. When you see Wonwoo's name on the screen, you jump up with a curse. "Shit, it's Wonwoo."

"Who?"

"He's here to pick you up."

"Why?"

You glare at Cheol, "Because you asked me to ask a friend."

"Right," he says slowly, running a hand through his hair. Even now, all you can think is about the way his stomach contracts with the sharpness of his breath. God, you want him so bad.

"I'm gonna ask him to come up here but we should probably get dressed–"

"I don't want to."

You stare at Cheol with a dumbfounded expression. "Cheol, we have to." After much convincing, you manage to get Cheol's shirt back on, just in time for the knock that comes on his door.

"Wonwoo?" you open the door and smile at your friend. Wonwoo looks worried, not returning your greeting. "Y/N, what the fuck is wrong with you? You didn't get the day off so you could come here and–"

Wonwoo's reprimand is cut short when he catches sight of the other man in the room, mouth hanging open. "Oh, this is–" you turn to introduce Cheol but he's already at your side, holding his hand out for Wonwoo. "Seungcheol," his voice has dropped a magical two octaves, eyes cold.

"I'm Wonwoo, Y/N's friend," Wonwoo says back, shaking his hand uneasily. "Anyway, let's get you out of here–" Wonwoo's hand is on yours to guide you out when Cheol's breaking between you, sticking his arm out in front of you with a frown.

"Cheol, what're you–"

"Sorry, you don't have to bother. I'll take her home."

You gape at his declaration, attempting to shake some sense into him with a harsh Cheol under your breath. But he remains unyielding, staring at Wonwoo to back off. Your friend looks puzzled and you sigh, "Wonwoo, I'll come with–"

But Wonwoo's taking a step back, a playful glint in his eye, "Oh, wait, I just remembered I have a thing to pick up for the boss before I go home. Sorry, Y/N, you'll be fine, right?" He doesn't even bother waiting to hear you confirm your safety before he's rushing down the stairs, not even bothering with the elevator.

When he's gone, you stare at Cheol's back. "What the fuck was that?"

He turns to you, "We're not done here."

"Really? That's your excuse? I can't believe you made me call Wonwoo all the way out here–"

"That was before you got me all worked up, doll," he snaps, "And to top it all off, you expected me to watch you get escorted out of here by another man? I'm a nice guy but I can't just let him get his hands all over you."

You can't help the laugh that leaves you, "Cheol, are you jealous right now? Wonwoo's a friend and he's–" Before you can tell him that Wonwoo's already dating Lisa, Cheol's lips are on you, shutting you up for good. He pulls away when you're too weak to say anything back. "I'll drive you home, doll, so stop worrying. I'll apologize to your friend if I have to, but let me take care of you tonight."

Cheol's true to his word, watching your every move as he walks you to his car. You wonder for a second if he came from money, to be able to afford such a nice car on a gym trainer's salary and then, lose your train of thought when he leans forward to strap your seatbelt in. Catching the flush on your cheeks, he chuckles softly, "You're too nervous, doll. I'm not going to kill you and bury your body so why don't you relax for me?"

He turns on the music, soft jazz hitting your ears and easing your nerves. You quietly ask, "Are we going to your place?"

"Since I don't know where you live," he says, "My place it is."

Cheol's a good driver, not to your surprise, with you falling asleep in the passenger seat on the drive to his home. He stirs you awake 20 minutes later, smiling, "We're here."

Your suspicions about Cheol's wealth are confirmed when you set foot in his place, convinced he was sitting on a crazy inheritance to afford the huge apartment where he lived. "My parents divorced when I was young," he explains when he understands your inquisitory looks, "And my mom felt bad about leaving my life so this is her way of saying sorry. Showering me with luxury. It's burdening but I love her too much to say no at this point."

"Plus," he adds, coming to cup your hand in his, "I get to impress girls with it."

You laugh at his comment, pushing him away, "I'm sure you've have lots of girls over."

"You're the only one that matters," he insists, "At least the only sick one I've brought home just so I can nurse back to health."

He sits you down on his couch, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "I'll make you something to eat, okay? Food's the best medicine."

–

In the following weeks, you come to fall even harder for Cheol because outside the gym, he's a man full of love. He meets you after work every day, leading you to his car so you don't have to take the subway, not paying any mind to your protests. He even holds your hand the whole drive back to either of your places, more often his than yours, because he likes to cook you dinner in his kitchen before he makes love to you in his bed.

It's dizzying, being this in love with a man you've lusted after for so long. The sex is mind-blowing, somehow even better than your dreams. You explore his body every second that you can, lips finding their place on his when you're not busy talking. You kiss his back tattoo and tell how much you love it, tracing the lines of the olive tree until you could draw it in your sleep. He shivers under your touch, his tongue on your own tattoo every time you leave your back exposed around him.

"I tried so hard to keep my hands off you the first time you showed up in that backless bra," he admits one evening, circling your tattoo. "Seeing your tattoo made me feel crazy. I could barely think straight that whole day. All I wanted was to feel every inch of your body."

You bury your head in the pillows beneath you, "I knew it! You did that shit on purpose!"

"Of course I did," his large hands roll you off your stomach and onto your back so you're making eye contact with him. "You think I call every pretty client of mine doll? You think I feel all of them up and down?"

"I hoped you didn't," you sigh into his mouth when it inevitably descends on yours.

"You must think I'm a slut if you doubted it for a second," he laughs. You shrug, "You were too hot to not be one."

It's too late to take your words back when Cheol sits up with a pout, "Wow… That's what I get for being into you? You know what–"

"I'm kidding! Cheol, stop, don't go! I was kidding! Hey, come back!"

–

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reiderwriter · 2 months

Text

Well, Are You Mine?

Final Chapter of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: Spencer adjusts to fatherhood alone.

Warnings: Angst, hopeful ending, mentions Canon character death (Gideon), mentions of new parent stress, single parenthood, etc.

A/N: I'm back! The final chapter is finally here, and I'm so very happy!! Thank you all for waiting patiently while I recovered from my illness. It's monsoon season here right now, so I've been hit with just depressing wave after wave of coughs, colds, fevers, and general rainy season ailments. But now this is finished! Thank you for joining ke on this three month journey. I'll be publishing a much happier, much fluffier epilogue within the week, so please look forward to that~♡ Without further ado, The End.

In the six weeks since his daughter had been born, Spencer Reid had experienced what he could solidly call the most terrifying weeks of his life.

The baby cried, and his heart beat out of his chest. Rain or shine, fully awake or fully knocked out, a single gargle or a full on scream and he was sprinting to her side to coo her back to blissful sleep, or to change her, or just to hold her close.

In the six weeks up to her birth, he'd pointedly avoided parenting books on the whole, doing his best to drown out all the memories from reading similar books when JJ was pregnant. Every memory stung as he clawed his way back to the family that was prematurely ripped from him.

But the baby was here now. The baby was safe, and the baby was crying, which he knew was absolutely healthy and nothing to worry about, and completely and totally fine, except it dropped his heart to his stomach everytime she did it.

It wasn't as if your daughter was a particularly fussy child. She was a newborn, she was a healthy weight and size, and the doctors who had checked her over at the hospital after her birth had reassured him multiple times that she was totally healthy. A miracle, all things considered.

And she was his miracle. For six weeks, she'd been his little wonder.

The team had banded together to fix up his apartment while she'd been observed in the hospital for the first few days of her life.

He'd sat and watched her through the newborn window at the hospital while Penelope had cleaned up his apartment, and Luke had built him a crib.

Emily and JJ had gone hunting for baby clothes and found probably a lifetime supply of 0-3 months, 3-6 months, and 6-9 months babygrows, t-shirts, dresses, and matching little hair bows for everything.

The first time he'd seen the socks, he'd broken down.

Arriving back with his newborn daughter to his apartment, he'd carried her to her new room, desk removed and crib added, though the walls were still shelved with books he really needed to do something with. He'd opened the sock drawer and been faced with a drawer full of single socks. There wasn't a matching pair in sight.

He'd pulled his daughter into his arms and held her close as the tears fell once again.

It had been six weeks since you'd delivered your first baby, and Spencer was sure that if you had the opportunity, you'd be cussing him out continuously.

Because as much as he doted on his daughter, his sweet baby, who he swore was already smiling sweetly up at him each time she grabbed his pinkie with her whole tiny fist, he had still not given her a a name.

“We can't just call her baby,” Emily complained to him after three days, already getting restless with Spencer's lack of decisiveness.

“I won't name her without Y/N,” he'd replied, and Emily had shut her mouth, not willing to open up that can of worms around him just yet. The sudden silence whenever he mentioned you was deafening. Spencer felt the team growing rigid each time he said something even slightly hopeful, then gently tried to lead him back to being ‘realistic.’

It had been six weeks since you'd given birth, and smiled at him sweetly as you brought you'd daughter into the world and six weeks since you'd quietly slipped into a peaceful coma.

The first week, he'd been told to prepare himself for the worst. The second week, he'd been told there was nothing more that they could do.

But in the third week, you'd moved. Just your hand, just a twitch, but a sign of life the doctors had been trying to convince him wasn't there before.

In the fourth week, you'd recovered enough to be taken off the ventilator.

You were clawing your way back to consciousness, readying yourself to meet your precious, sweet baby.

In the sixth week after Spencer Reid became a father, he took his daughter back to the hospital to meet her mother again. With some expert baby-sitting from Penelope, he'd managed to visit you once every two days at least in the last few months, but with the little-one still only small, hospital visits to trauma wards weren't exactly recommended.

When they'd transferred you to a regular ward, he'd packed his bags immediately and gathered the baby up, strapping her into her carrier and waiting desperately for visiting hours to begin.

After thirty minutes, he made a call.

“Emily? Can I… can we get a ride?”

Of course, she'd agreed. While no one else had been letting themselves hope, they had absolutely been at his beck and call. He'd been swamped with guilt calling JJ at 3am asking how to settle you because he'd tried everything, and constantly relying on Penelope to come and help him and Luke and Emily, picking up extra hours to finish his paperwork because his paternity leave still hadn't been approved.

He felt guilty, overwhelmed, and stressed, and he needed you to wake up so goddamn much that he feared if he got any bad news, he would shatter. And he didn't know how to be a father, because really he hadn't had one before he was 20 and Gideon became his, and even he had left when things got hard. So how could he be sure he wouldn't.

So he hadn't given his daughter a name. And, yes, it was because he wanted to do it with you, to pick out a name together, but also it was because he didn't think he could stand knowing it if he was too weak and ran from her.

The pressure built and built for six weeks, as he fell in love with his daughter, who deserved better than his love, and then Emily pulled up in his car, and he started sobbing.

“Spencer!” Emily exclaimed, not expecting the outburst at all, the loneliness of the last five months catching up to him finally.

“Emily… Emily, I'm a terrible father-”

“No! No, sweetie, you're-”

“My daughter doesn't have a name!”

Emily switched the engine off and then grabbed Spencer's shoulder, roughly turning him to face her if he wouldn't meet her in the eyes.

“You have survived this job for nearly two decades. You have survived gunshots, and murderers, and loss that I can not begin to comprehend, and you love that child. You are grieving, and you are stressed, and it is so totally, completely normal to not be okay after everything you've been through,” Emily held her breath, waiting for his reply. Just as he opened his mouth to whisper more doubts, the baby in the back seat began to fuss and cry.

Unable to stop himself, Spencer laughed. Emily laughed with him. They sat giggling in the car together, tears in their eyes as his daughter kicked up a fuss.

“She doesn't like hearing you talk badly about her daddy,” Emily joked and started the engine again.

When Spencer finally made it to your room, his daughter had stopped fussing. A quick bottle in the parking lot had mollified her, and she was gurgling softly now, still pink, her eyes tightly closed. He'd dressed her up nicely, or as nicely as he could muster. A cute pink newborn dress for his tiny baby and a matching pink hair bow.

He gathered the baby carrier in his arms and let the hospital doors open for him.

Finding your new ward wasn't hard. The nurses were helpful enough and honestly, he'd taken a look at the building blueprints weeks before, when he'd been obsessing over every small detail of your care, so he practically knew the route by himself.

Straight, then a left turn, then straight again, and a right turn and keep going until there was a final turn into your ward.

He let out a deep sigh as soon as he reached the nurses station and readied himself to ask for you.

“Hello, I'm here to see my Y/N, I was told she was transferred here this morning?”

The nurses on the station looked up at him in shock and blinked at him a few times before speaking up. If ever there was a time to hear the words “you haven't heard?” uttered from the mouth of a nurse in a hospital where your comatose girlfriend was being treated, then it likely wasn't when he held a newborn in his already weak arms.

The panic set in quickly as he tuned the noise out. An older nurse walked around the side of the desk to comfort him, sticking by his side and grabbing the baby carrier before he could accidentally let it go in his shock.

Another nurse came to his side to take care of the baby, and quickly, they both ushered him down another hall to an adjacent ward. He drowned out every word as they tried to comfort and reassure him, his brain jumping to the worst conclusions.

His teammates were right when they said he shouldn't hope. He needed to be realistic now. If you were gone, he had to call your family and organize the funeral. He had to pack up your stuff. He had to settle the hospital bills and decide how you would be seen off.

He had to name his daughter.

The nurses pushed him towards the room quickly, and he mentally prepared himself to say goodbye, but as the doors swung open, he saw you, and he fell to his knees.

“Spencer?”

In the two hours since you'd woken up, you'd been poked, prodded, hydrated, fed, rubbed down, and spoken over like you were still somewhat asleep.

No one had explained exactly what had happened, and no one explained where your baby was, and you'd kicked and screamed yourself hoarse, as the doctors noted down that you still had use of your vocal chords and all four limbs.

So seeing Spencer crash into your room at full force through your tear filled eyes was the best experience you'd had in months, especially when you spotted the nurse with the baby sized car seat coming in behind him.

“Is that my baby? Is that my baby? Please-” You pushed sheets off your body as a nurse tried to hold you still, not wanting you to pull the IV from your arm or the oxygen tubes from your face.

And suddenly Spencer was there, and he'd regained his strength, and his hope, and his happiness because you were awake, and talking and god you remembered.

It was all he could do not to grab you, bundle you up, and carry you away to safety, but the nurse propping you up was stern-looking, and he had a daughter to tend to.

He pulled your face into his hands and kissed you as softly as he could, holding back his emotion as he held you like you would break, feeling your wet tears on his skin.

“I missed you,” he whispered, dropping his forehead to yours as he gently stepped back and allowed the nurses to help you get comfortable.

Then he turned quickly and grabbed your daughter, and your breath caught in your throat as he held her out to you.

“What do I…? Where should I put my hands- Oh god, I'm so unprepared, I-” your eyes welled again, but it was joy as you saw her serene little sleeping face for the first time and he slowly lowered her into your arms. It turns out, no-one needed to help you out holding her at all, because she was so precious and perfect and yours that she slotted into your arms completely, like it was a spot made completely for her, like you'd been purpose made to hold her and be her mother and love her and cherish her.

You cried and looked up at Spencer and laughed. He rested on the side of the bed and pulled you into his arms, and you felt that completeness a second time, and you knew that you were made for him the way she was made for you.

Your family.

It had almost been taken for you, but it was yours, and it was fate.

With a quiet whisper that only Spencer could hear, you leant down to your baby's ear and said your first words to her.

“I wish that I could be your mother in every lifetime, my sweet Angel.”

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #reiderslibrary #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid x reader angst #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x you

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f1fantasys · 2 months

Text

Always yours

Summary - post race Budapest

Warning - angst leading to smut. Minors dni, p in v sex, oral receiving both m and f, anal, swearing.

To say the race was shit would be an understatement. Lando has put his heart and soul into McLaren since the beginning and what he got in return today was heartbreaking. The manipulation and guilt trip, the lies that his race engineer told him were not easy to listen to, especially with how much Lando talks about his mental health.

Watching it from the side lines, as Lando's girlfriend, you couldn't wait to just have him in your arms, tell him it will all be okay.

As you saw Lando give the lead back to Oscar you couldn't help but admire the kind of human being he was. He could have gone and won the race for himself, any other driver would have, but him, being the incredible person he is, gave the team what they wanted. Even if it was his fucking race to win and they fucked up the strategy.

You knew he would blame himself, beat himself up. But you also knew you needed to make sure that Lando wouldn't let himself fall into a deep a hole. He needs to know how loved he is, how talented he is, and how he was the one who was fucked over today.

You stood by the barriers and watched as Lando stepped out of his car and got congratulated Oscar. The weighted walk towards his mechanics and you spoke a thousand words. His shoulders sagging, helmet left on. He eventually removed it as he shook hands with his mechanics and made eye contact with you.

You knew that nothing you said was going to ease the pain right now, so you just pulled him in your arms and held him tight.

''I love you Lando, hold onto that'' you said. He nodded his head before being pulled away for the podium and interviews.

You waited in his drivers' room as Lando finished all his interviews as quick as he could. You were both meant to fly out tomorrow, with Oscar and Lily, but Jon knew Lando would want to be home tonight, so he booked you a chartered flight. Not to mention it wasn't the right time to be alone around Oscar. It was his first win, and as happy as Lando was for him, it still fucking hurt, and so not to put a dampener on Oscar's mood, Jon had done the right thing.

About an hour and a half later Lando walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

After a bad race, you always gave Lando time to cool down and gather his thoughts before trying to talk to him about it. You knew your earlier words were with him, and that he knew you were there for him whenever he was ready. For now all he did was pull you into a hug, hold you as close as possible.

You could feel and hear him silently shed a few tears, and you let him. It was good for him to get it out of his system.

''Jon's booked us a flight home for tonight'' you whispered.

He didn't reply though. He just nodded again and started packing his things up.

The flight back home to Monaco was 2 hours, which we spent with Lando's head on your lap, your fingers softly playing with his curls and soothing him. No words were spoken yet but after a long and stressful day, the silence was welcomed by the both of you, just content to be in each others surroundings.

Finally though, you'd just arrived home to Lando's penthouse. The familiar environment bringing a sense of comfort to you and Lando.

''Baby why don't you go and take a shower while I order some food, yeah?'' you said, kissing Lando on his little nose scar.

''Okay'' and a kiss back was all you got back from him.

By the time Lando had finished, you jumped into the shower and came out just in time for when the food arrived. You ate in comfortable silence, a random game of football playing in the background.

You could see Lando had a lot of energy still built up in him. He was very jittery and on edge. He needed to let it all out though. So as soon as you washed up and sat next to him on the couch, you needed to start the conversation.

''Baby,'' you started, cupping Lando's face and turning it to face you. His eyes were heavy and red as he stared into you.

''Talk to me. Let it out. And then let me help you get past this. It's what I'm here for.'' you softly told him.

''I don't even know what to say'' he shrugged then continued.

''Wasn't the win mine? Am I not the only driver challenging Max and closest to him in the drivers championship? Did I have that bad a start that they just decided it was Oscar's race? We would have scored the same amount of points in the constructors. Where the fuck did the manipulation and lying come from? Will? Andrea? Saying my tyres are being over used. That the way to win is not alone. That I need them. Do they not fucking need me anymore? Fucking bullshit.''

He was rambling on and you let him. Because he was right - it's fucking bullshit.

You held onto his hands.

''Lando, listen to me. None of this was on you. Trust me, they need you. They would be no where without you. You've stuck with them through thick and thin, even when they were failing. And now that there's a good car, it's nothing without a fantastic driver. You bring out the best in the car. The team fucking screwed you over today and they have no excuse for doing so. Please try and forget all of those toxic words and mind games that were thrown at you today. They screwed the strategy and then needed someone to blame for that so they turned it on you. But Lando you did the right thing. Firstly by waiting until the last few laps to give Oscar the position. They boxed you first and you had every right to fight that. But you didn't. Any race car driver in their right mind wouldn't have listened and would have taken the win. But you. Lando you showed just what type of incredible human being you are. You have no idea how much respect you've gained from me today. You are the most selfless, passionate, and talented person I know, and you proved that today. Don't let what happened today affect your future. You have a thousand race wins, and drivers championships to win. Whether that's with McLaren or another team in the future. But you need to know how loved you are. How admired you are. There will always be haters, but fuck them. You have an enormous amount of fans who are by your side, and always will be. And I am at the top of that list. I love you Lando, win or lose.'' you couldn't help but let a few tears slip out.

He looked at you with a look of awe in his eyes.

''I don't know what I'd do without you y/n. Honestly. I love you too, so much.'' Lando said, pulling you in for a hug.

''Tell me how I can help you Lando, let me help you'' you whispered.

You felt his body was still jittery, neither here nor there.

''I think I need to get some fresh air, burn this adrenaline and energy''

''Yeah, ok. Want me to come?'' you asked, knowing he probably just needed a few minutes to himself.

''Nah, I won't be long'' he said, pecking your lips.

He put his trainers on and left, giving you some time to get yourself together as well and be there for him when he gets back.

You busied yourself in your room, emptying out all your luggage when you heard the front door open, not even 15 minutes since he left.

He ran up and stood in the doorway, watching you close a bag and zip it up.

He finally smiled a little, the first one you'd seen since before the race. You smiled back and walked up to him.

''Feeling okay?'' you asked, rubbing his arms up and down.

It was a quick run but he had a sheet of sweat covering his face, hair damp, and tank top stuck to his body. His eyes were also darker than when he'd left, and you could see a smirk beginning to form on his face. He looked so fucking hot, it took everything in you not to clench your thighs together.

''Lan?'' you questioned him, heat rising in your cheeks.

''Can I fuck you?'' he asked.

''Lan fuck me, use me, i don't care. Do whatever you want with me. Use me however you want. I'm all yours.''

''Fuck don't tempt me y/n'' he said, pulling you closer.

''I'm not joking Lan. Fuck me how you please.''

Lando crashed his lips into yours, hard and deep, which had you a moaning mess in his mouth. He literally sucked all the air out of your lungs and all your mind or body could do in response was pull him impossibly closer, pulling at his hair.

You easily grant him access to let his tongue slip into your mouth, sucking at him as hard as you could while you moved to slide his top over his head and memorizing his body from his chest to his stomach with your hands.

Lando also moaned into the kiss until you both pulled away for air, your breaths mixing together as he rested his forehead against yours, while his hands worked to removed your t-shirt and joggers, leaving you completely naked in front of him.

He roughly picked up by your ass and carried you to your bed, placing you down before he pushed you to your knees by your shoulders.

You knew what to do, so as he gathered your hair out of your face you quickly pulled down his shorts. His dick sprang free. Slapping against his stomach, standing tall and hard, red and angry, pre cum already dripping from the slit, and the thick vein protruding almost painfully.

You looked up at Lando's dark eyes as you pumped him a few times with one hand - the other fondling with his balls, squeezing them.

You leaned before and let you tongue trace the outline of the vein, before settling at his tip and licking the pre cum that was gathered there.

He hissed and bucked his hips forward.

''Fuck y/n, please''

You took that as an opportunity to deep throat as much of him as you could He instantly hit the back of your throat, which had you gagging but you couldn't care less.

You pumped what you couldn't fit in, as Lando hands on your heads' grip became stronger and soon he was fucking his cock in and out of your mouth, not giving you the chance to react.

All you could do was moan at the feeling, and clench you thighs together because the sounds in the room were filthy.

''That's it baby. Taking me so fucking well.'' he managed through gritted teeth.

You held onto the back of his thighs, fingers digging deep into his flesh as he relentlessly continued his actions, until you felt him twitching and heard his moans become a mess.

With no warning Lando sprayed sheets and sheets of his milky cum down the back of your throat, body shuddering and breathless. You rode him through his orgasm, making sure to swallow all that he released before pulling back and finally trying to get your own breathing back to normal.

He gently pulled you up again and kissed you slowly but deep enough that you were seeing stars.

You both fell back until Lando was hovering above you, kissing you again and finding that sweet spot on your neck that had you trembling in his arms. He moved lower down and started nipping at and sucking on you peaked nipples, earning delicious moans from you.

''Lando please, need to feel you in me'' you begged, knowing how wet you were, how desperate you were.

''Patience baby. When I'm done with you you're not gonna be able to walk for weeks.''

Once again you couldn't help but clench your thighs together before Lando pulled away and spread your legs apart, resting them on his shoulders and looking at you cunt like he was a lion ready to devour it.

His looks alone had you ready to explode so you edged him on again.

''Please fucking do something. I need you.'' you whined.

Finally, Lando lowered his head and you knew him well enough to grab onto the sheets because he would show you no mercy.

And boy were you right. He violently licked a stripe up your cunt, collecting your juices on his tongue, then slipping his fingers into his mouth to lube them before thrusting three of them into you in one ago.

You couldn't help but feel your body tremble at the intrusion. He was thrusting in and out of you so hard, while his tongue found your clit and bit and sucked at it.

''Fuck, Lando'' you whined through gritted teeth, pulling at his hair. Whether you were telling him to slow down or to go faster - you didn't know.

''So fuckin tight just how I like it baby'' me mumbled as he kept his eyes on your face, watching it contort with pleasure and plain.

Within minutes you already felt that all too familiar warmth building up in your stomach.

Lando knew you were close too, with how your walls were clenching almost painfully around his fingers.

He abruptly stopped his movements and looked at you. ''Ask me'' he demanded.

''Huh. What?'' you asked, confused since you were literally at the point of release.

''You know what I'm saying. Ask me y/n''

''Fuck Lan I'm so close, please let me cum'' you asked, obeying to his orders because tonight you were his to play with.

''Go on y/n'' was all he said as you violently gushed and came around his fingers and into his mouth. Your body shook but that didn't slow Landos tongue down. He continued his on onslaught until you came again, screaming his name, sure that the neighbors probably heard it, but who cares.

He cleaned you up with his tongue and leaned up to lock lips once again, letting you taste yourself on him.

As Lando busied himself by kissing you senseless again, you managed to grab a hold of his dick and lined him up at your entrance.

He pumped himself a few times until he finally, and very roughly, pushed in, bottoming out straight away, hips slamming into yours.

'Fuck me'' you hissed as he stayed still, allowing you to adjust at the intrusion.

''Trying to, baby'' he mumbled as he finally started moving at a pace which had your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

''Hmm Lan, yes, please, harder, take me'' you grunted as he pulled his mouth away from your face and his strong hands held onto your hips, surely hard enough to leaves bruises, as he slammed in and out of your cunt relentlessly.

''That's it. Taking me so well again. Letting me use you as my own whore. Fuck y/n'' he muttered.

The sounds of your bodies slamming together and the mixture of slick juices coming together definitely made it sounds like a porno was going on. Your moans filled the room with a series of swear words from the both of you.

Lando fucked you in this position until he finally decided he actually wanted you to ride him. So he pulled out, much to your dismay, and sat against the headboard, pulling you onto his lap.

You wasted no time in sitting on his dick and grabbing onto his shoulders to set a vast pace, bouncing on his dick as you boobs flew up and down with each thrust.

His mouth founds your nipples and his thumb found your clit, which had you spiraling over the edge in to time. Cumming on his cock like there was no tomorrow.

Your body shuddered in Lando's arms and he rode you through your orgasm, no yet ready to chase his own.

He tucked your hair behind your ears and he leaned forward to kiss you again. before he started mumbling about wanting to try something new.

''Baby'' he said, breath fanning the sweat on your face.

''Wanna do something we've never done before?'' he asked, slightly smirking.

As fucked out as you were, you couldn't help but feel intrigued to see where he was going with this.

''I'm listening'' you smiled and started nibbling at his thick neck.

All he said was one word. And you already felt pussy drenching wet.

''Anal''

You gasped, suddenly so turned on. It was something you'd talked about for sure, however you just never really got round to actually doing it.

But something about the way he said it, how charged up he was, had you putty in his hands.

You didn't respond verbally, so Lando quickly said ''Fuck y/n, we don't have -'' but before he could finish his sentence, you cut him off.

''I want to. God I fucking want to'' you said, already climbing off him and leaning against the headboard.

''Fuck, you're gonna end me one day so said, climbing up behind you and playing soft kissed on your back.

''Gonna get you ready for me first, yeah?'' he asked and you just nodded. ''And tell me if you wanna stop at any point'' to continued.

''Please Lan just do it'' you eagerly told him.

Lando pulled your ass in the air, his fingers toying with your hole. He let his tongue slide through you a few times before allowing it to slide into you.

The feeling has you gasping and holding onto the headboard for dear life. It felt weird, but just the though of it being Lando's tongue, had the pleasure of it being a thousand times more.

He slid in and out a few times before trying to pry you open a little more. He used his two index fingers to stretch you out before inserting his tongue again, licking and lapping at you.

''Yes, feels so fucking good'' you grunted, breath hitching every time he went in.

After a while he pulled out and bought his body up to yours, nuzzling at your neck, as his fingers now played with your entrance.

He slowly pushed one in, you holding your breath as he did so, before he added another one.

He worked them in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace, not wanted to over stimulate or hurt you, just yet.

''You okay baby?'' he asked.

You moaned in reply, which had him chuckling, your favorite chuckle of his was during sex. But you noticed how his fingers weren't moving in and out with ease, so he completely removed them and slid them through your folds, then in his mouth, before re-inserting them with such ease, it actually felt even better now.

''Think you're ready for my cock yet?'' he asked, speeding his fingers up a bit.

''Uh huh'' you said, although as much as you wanted to feel him in you, you couldn't help but be nervous to do this.

He must have sensed it because he immediately reassured you that if it was too sore or you just didn't like it he would stop straight away. And you trusted him to.

Lando quickly man handled you to turn around and he pushed his dick back into your mouth.

''Lube baby'' he muttered as you tried to gather as much spit as you could and spread it evenly all over him. He was definitely in a dirty mood today because he let his own spit drip down from his mouth down to his cock to mix with yours. This earned him a hot moan from you.

Soon enough, he was turning you around again and pulling his ass in the air again. He lined his tip up with your hole as his one hand held yours, and he pushed in.

The sting was unlike anything you'd felt before, but as he bottomed out you got a new sense of adrenaline and you moved your own hips forward, before slamming them back again.

''Fuck baby. This feels incredible. But are you sure you're good?

''Lando please I'm fucking begging you. Please fuck me. I need it. Now'' you said, breath hitching as he pulled out and slammed straight in, hitting all the right places immediately.

He grabbed onto your hips, holding you as tight as he could as he set a pace that had you seeing stars. You were sure you were gonna black out from the feeling. It was incredibly intoxicating and unlike anything you'd felt before.

Lando was fucking you with no mercy, ploughing into you as if his life depended on it.

''Holy fuck, why haven't we done this before?'' he asked.

But you honestly could form no words. But you clenched your butt cheeks together, signalling to him that you were enjoying this as much as he was.

''Such a fucking angel you are, letting me use you like this. Being my own personal slut. Don't know what I'd do without you. Taking me so fucking well, so fuckin tight for me'' he rambled out.

''Lan, I'm close'' you moaned as you could feel your orgasm on the brink about to wash over you.

''Let go for me baby, come on'' he said breathlessly. His own movements becoming sloppier and clumsier by the second.

In seconds your orgasm violently ripped through your body, cum dripping out and body shaking uncontrollably, moaning and praising his name, which in turn sent Lando over the edge, spilling into you ferociously, swear words flying out his mouth left right and center.

He held onto your body to try and calm you down as both your bodies were trembling with pleasure and pain.

Lando pulled you so your back was resting on his front, arms snaking down to wrap around your tummy, breathless in your ear.

''Thank you y/n, you're so fucking amazing. Thank you for giving me that'' he said, nuzzling into you.

You reached your arms back and held his cheek as best you could.

''No Lando it's you. It's all you. You're beyond belief'' you said, chuckling at remembering what you'd just done.

Lando was still situated inside of you, and you could feel he was still hard when he pulled out.

You both shared a knowing look as you lied down again and Lando pulled you to the edge of the bed, stepping off it himself.

''Think you got one more in you?'' he smirked.

And who were you to say no when he was looking at you like that.

''Please'' you begged him.

He slammed once more into your cunt, his hands putting all his pressure and weight onto your boobs, head snaking down to lock lips again, biting at and sucking at your bottom lip.

You were once again a moaning mess as he dipped his hand on your lower stomach and applied a bit of pressure, before moving lower down and toying with your clit.

''Yes y/n, that's it. Cum for me. Cum all over my dick''

Those words had you quivering in his arms again, releasing all over him, making a mess for the umpteenth time tonight.

''Fuck yes. I'm close'' he mumbled as he continued to slam your bodies together.

In no time he was shuddering above you, milking his dick to paint your walls white.

Lando collapsed on top of you, both of you trying to calm your breathing.

You held him close, peppering his face with kisses.

Eventually, he pulled out to get a cloth to clean you both up. Your body was limb so he did all the work and then climbed into bed, pulling you to him again.

''Thank you y/n. I hope I wasn't too rough with you, and I'm sorry I got carried away calling you those names'' he said, kissing your nose.

‘Fuck me Lando, I love when you call me those names. I’m always going to be only your whore and your slut. Always yours. I’m glad I could be there for you to use me how you wanted to. It tells me that i’m yours and only yours’

‘Shit baby you’re gonna get me hard again’ he chuckled, kissing you again.

‘I love you Lando, and no matter the outcome of your race, I will always, always love you’

‘I love you too, and thank you for being my most favorite person in the world’ he replied, kissing your lips and holding you closer. ‘Always mine’ he said.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 smut #f1 #lando norris #lando x reader #f1 fic #lando norris smut #lando smut

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sweetbans29 · 4 months

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It’s Not You, It’s Them - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: You hide your parents from Caitlin (based on THIS request)

Warnings: slight (maybe a little more than slight) angst, mentions of verbal abuse, SUPPORTIVE CC, a happy ending (because we all need it)

Word Count: 3.2k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN:

Caitlin is the light of your life. She has been since the first day that you met her. The friendship that was built between the two of you is one that has kept you going even when everything else in the world seemed to be working against you.

The two of you met freshman year during summer training - your high school had conditioning days to help get everyone into shape before their respective seasons or pre-seasons.

You had been talking to the soccer coach and they encouraged you to go to training, talking about how varsity was very promising for your freshman year. You were one of three freshmen that they were looking at joining the varsity team.

Caitlin was one of the other girls they were looking at. The two of you were some of the first people to show up on the first day, immediately hitting it off and talking about how competitive you both are. The two of you spent the latter part of the summer suffering through training together. You thought Caitlin was insane for playing both basketball and soccer at the same time but seeing how much she enjoyed playing the game, it made sense.

She made the transition into high school bearable. Your freshman year the two of you spent most of your time at school - either in the classroom or on the field. You learned that having her as a teammate was the best possible outcome that you could have ever had.

It was the summer going into sophomore year when the two of you spent pretty much every day at her house. The two of you would keep up with your training so once pre-season workouts started you wouldn't die like the summer before.

That summer was one of the best summers you have ever had - most of it was because you spent it at hers and didn't have to be home. It was also the best because, after a night of deep life conversations, you admitted your feelings for the girl. To your delight, she reciprocated them and the two of you started dating that summer.

During the school year, you would always go watch her play basketball when you weren't both on the field for soccer. And any time the two of you hung out, it would either be doing something out and about or at Caitlin's.

It wasn't until the end of sophomore year that Caitlin questioned why she hadn't met your parents yet.

Your soccer team made it to State and it was the talk of the town. It was the first time the girl's soccer team had made it and for the championship game, the whole school was going to support.

Up to this point, Caitlin hasn't said much but knowing how excited and proud you were for this game she decided to test the waters.

"Hey babe, I have a question for you," She says as the two of you are walking out of practice.

"What's up?" You ask as you are trying to make sure your bag is closed as you juggle carrying everything you need to bring home before the game.

"Why is it whenever we hang out, it is always at my house? You have gotten to know my parents and you know they absolutely love you but I haven't met yours yet?" She asks. In her mind, the reason you haven't introduced her to them is because you were ashamed of her in some way.

You see how her shoulders slump a little and how disappointment lingers on her face. It makes you stop dead in your tracks and she stops but doesn't look at you.

You turn to face her but her eyes don't meet yours. You try to get her to look at you but she keeps avoiding your gaze.

"Hey, hey. Look at me Cait." You say as your bag comes to the ground and your hand comes up to her arm, forcing her to stay facing you. She finally gives in and makes eye contact with you.

"My parents would love you." You say. "They are just super busy all the time. I barely see them." You don't know if now is the time to dive into the whole story as to why you spend so much time at her house and not at home. Ever since you have gotten to high school - you did everything in your power to stay away from home which was easy to do with all the events and extracurriculars. You never wanted to get in their way since they made it very known any time you did.

"I just thought it was because of me or that we are dating or something like that," she says, avoiding your gaze again. "I know some parents are as supportive of the relationship we have."

"Oh babe, that's not it, I promise. When the opportunity presents itself I will introduce you. It is just hard when they are so busy." You say reassuring your girl.

Caitlin trusts you. She knows how much you love her already and has no doubts that you want her. It is just hard at times when Cait sees how much her family loves you and wants that to be reciprocated with your parents. She knows you spend most of your time at hers, whether it be after practice or spending the night but it would be nice to be able to see your home.

Cait also knows how you look for them in the crowd during games but never says anything. It is the polar opposite of her family who is at every one of her games - even pre-season. You never bring it up, nor does Cait, but she notices.

The championship game was no different. In the first half, she noticed how your eyes would scan the crowd in hopes of seeing them there. It isn't until after your team has won that hope fades from your eyes as you are congratulated by everyone except the two people who should be there. Caitlin almost misses the tears that threaten to fall from your eyes as her parents come up with flowers and a poster for you. She doesn't say anything but takes note.

You told yourselves that if your parents couldn't get themselves to come to one of the biggest games of your career thus far, then you would truly stay out of their way and just bear what you needed before heading to college.

The next time Caitlin brings it up is during junior year when she offers to pick you up for a date and you turn her down, saying you will meet her at hers.

Caitlin pushes it and insists on picking you up, suggesting that the two of you spend the night at your house this time since her parents will be throwing a dinner party with their friends.

You tell her that they can't stay yours because your parents have a project that they are working on and have taken over the house.

Cait doesn't cave and continues to bug you about it which is the cause of your first fight.

The two of you don't end up going out due to being frustrated with one another. Caitlin doesn't understand why she can't go to your house since the two of you have been together for almost two years at this point and she still hasn't met your parents. You on the other hand don’t know why Caitlin pushes so hard when everything is perfectly fine the way it is currently.

You rarely talk about your parents or home life and for good reason. You didn't lie when you said your parents were always busy but it also wasn't the complete truth.

The relationship with your parents changed drastically when your family moved to Des Moines, IA. Before the move, you were one big happy family. Your parents were super involved in school events and they were always supporting you in sports. But then your dad's job had you moving to a new city and pulling your family away from its community and everything shifted.

Your mom fell into a major depression - taking away from her being a mother. Your dad was always busy with work, making sure to provide for your family. This left you to have to fend for yourself. As you grew up you realized that the less of a burden you were the happier your parents were. They began to enjoy life again but the second you needed something or pulled them from the life that they began building without you - it was like all hell broke loose. They changed from being their happier selves and treated you like you weren't even wanted anymore.

It wasn't hard to see that your parents enjoyed life better without you so you decided to be the least of a burden as you could. Staying out late so they wouldn't have to see you and leaving really early. The less they saw you the less you had to deal with the verbal abuse.

That is why you worked so hard in school and in your sport. You needed an out and didn't want to give them any reason for them to say no. Although knowing your dad, he would pay for you to go whenever you wanted as long as it was far away. But you didn't want to owe him anything. So you poured yourself into your academics and soccer, making yourself one of the top recruits for college.

Caitlin and you made up shortly after the fight, both apologizing for what was said. The two of you decided that your relationship with each other was more important than your relationships with others.

It isn't until senior year that it comes up again but in a very different way than you would have expected.

It is signing day for seniors and you and Caitlin were both signing to Iowa to play your respective sports. Cait dropped soccer going into her junior year as basketball became her main sport. She verbally committed to the University of Iowa that year and you verbally committed to be a Hawkeye for soccer just a few months later. But today is the day the school sets up an assembly where you physically sign your papers.

Your parents are coming to the assembly, knowing the only reason they were there is because it was mandatory for them to be there. If it didn't involve you leaving, they wouldn't give it the time of day.

You are nervous as this would be the first time they are in the same building as Caitlin and her family. You know Caitlin's parents will be amazing, they always are, but for yours - you have no idea how they would react.

They know you have been dating a girl named Caitlin for a while now but never asked you about it. They could honestly care less, which is saying something considering their care for you was almost nonexistent.

You are sitting at the table, listening to your coach's speech on how proud your school is to have you go to the University of Iowa on a full scholarship to play soccer.

The ceremony ends and you see your parents talking with your principal who is showing them what they need to do. Before you know it, you see them walking out - without even a hello to you.

You run them as they walk out of the gym, catching them right on the other side of the door.

"Hey, you weren't even going to come and say hi?" You say as they just stand there looking at you. "I have a few people I want to introduce you to."

Little to your knowledge, Caitlin had run after you when she saw you go after your parents. She stopped when she heard you saying that you wanted to introduce them to people. She stayed on the other side of the gym door listening.

"You know we don't care about meeting anyone - the only reason we are here is because we were required to be in order to get you to leave come the fall." Your father says.

"This is already cutting into work day and the last thing we need is for you to take more of our time." Your mother says.

"It takes two seconds for you to meet them, that's it." You try and ration with them knowing it will only make things worse. But this is the closest you have ever been to making this happen and you know how much Caitlin wanted this.

"Oh trust us, there is no reason they would want to meet us, we have nothing to say about you.” Your mother says. "You have already caused us this headache of having to come out, now asking us to be social with people we care about less than we care about you. You should know us better than that by now to know we just don't care at all."

You swallow the anger and pain that is rising in your chest.

"Oh and about your senior night," your father begins. "Your principal mentioned that we should be there to walk you down the field but that doesn't seem important. Don't expect us to be there."

"Actually, if you could, make sure you are packed and moved out right after graduation. You're 18 and will be out of school therefore you are no longer our problem." Your mother says and it feels like you have just been stabbed in the chest.

Not that it came as a surprise to you but you didn't know where you would go or how begin to begin explaining this to Caitlin.

You just stare at them, not trusting your voice and they walk away.

You take the time you need to compose yourself - thinking through all the possibilities of where you could go after graduation. You feel like you have just been hit by a truck.

Caitlin, on the other side of the door, is now in tears. She is crying for you and hearing the words your own parents said to you. She is crying for all the times she has pushed you, trying to meet them or go and spend time at your house when really you were just protecting her from them. She is crying because she feels guilty for having such loving parents when yours are the polar opposite.

Cait knows you would be extremely embarrassed if you knew she had just heard the way your parents were talking to you so she gathers herself to the best of her ability and makes her way to her mom. Her mom notices how her little girl has broken down and asks what's wrong.

"They are terrible Mom, absolutely terrible," Caitlin begins. "They aren't going to her senior night. I doubt if they will go to her graduation and they are kicking her out the day after we graduate. How can someone's parents be so hateful towards their own child?" Caitlin is now sobbing in her mom's arms.

You finally collect yourself and enter the gym again. As you do you see Caitlin and her mom walk out. You head over to her dad as the plan was to head out to get a meal after the signing.

"Where did Cait go?" You ask as you take a seat next to him.

"Oh I think they just went to the restroom, they should be back right back," he says and you start a conversation with Caitlin's brother.

Caitlin's mom takes her out to calm her down. And they begin to plan how Caitlin and her family can help support you as your family fails to do so.

The next few days, you spend a lot of time at Caitlin's. You don't say why and Caitlin doesn't dare ask, already knowing. You don't tell her about your parents not going to your senior night, not wanting to cause any drama but as it rapidly approaches you dread it.

It wouldn't the first time a players parents were there, but you know for sure you would be the only one this season who walks out alone. Caitlin will be in the crowd and that is all that you need.

Your team gets ready and makes their way out to the field, excited to greet their parents. You are talking with some teammates as they begin to line you girls up.

The way they decided to do this senior night was by calling players by position and then finishing with captains. You would be going third to last - being the first captain called. It eases you a little knowing you will not be the last person on the field with no one walking to meet you in the center of the field.

The ceremony begins and they start calling girls names. You cheer on all of your teammates, holding your breath as you are the next one up.

Your eyes are closed as your head is down. An exhale escapes you as you hear your name called. What you heard next, gave you whiplash with how fast your head flew up.

"Our first team captain going to play for the University of Iowa on a full ride is met by parents Brent and Anne!"

Your eyes fill with tears, falling freely as you see them walk their way to meet you in the center of the field. As you walk you realize they called Caitlin's parents your own. In the seconds it takes you to walk to them, you reflect on how they have loved you and cared for you as their own. Even more so when Caitlin and you told them that you were dating. They had chosen to be your family not only in this moment, but over the last four years.

They meet you in the middle of the court, both are holding flowers for you. Caitlin's mom envelopes you into a hug and you melt into her, savoring the love of a mother's hug.

"We may not have raised you, but you are a part of this family. Today, tomorrow and always. We love you, baby," Anne says as she releases you and uses her sleeves to dry your tears.

You step over and hug Brent.

"We are so proud of you," he says with a smile. "We can't wait to watch you lead the Hawkeyes to the NCAA college cup."

You all walk down and they shake the hands of your coaches. Each one of your coaches has some sort of idea of what your parents are like thank Brent and Anne for showing up for you.

You later learn that one of your closer coaches would have walked out to greet you if the Clark's hadn't asked to do so. You don’t know how but you are incredibly thankful someone was watching out for you - a literally angel.

That night you lead your team to victory, scoring 3 goals, one of them in the last few seconds going into the half putting your team in the lead. The win was a sweet one to top off the night, not that you needed anything else to make this night better.

At the end of the game - Caitlin finds you on the field and you immediately pull her into a hug.

She holds you.

"Doesn't matter what the case, doesn't matter where you are. I got you babe. I've always got you." Caitlin says not letting you go, she refuses to let you go first and will hold you as long as you need.

AN: I hope this did your prompt justice, I thought it was cute. Let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

#caitlin clark #caitlin clark imagine #caitlin clark x reader #caitlin clark concepts #caitlin clark masterlist #cc

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rebelliousneferut · 2 months

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long-distance misunderstandings | jude bellingham x verstappen!reader

summary; a compromising photo that poses a threat to your relationship with jude

genre; angst, fluff

face claim; annie schröter

note; english is not my first language.

as soon as i saw the photo i knew i had to write something about it

masterlist!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

wagsgossips

liked by y/nverstappen, yourbestfriend, footballwags and others

wagsgossips the 21 y/o real madrid star was seen last night in california in the company of his england teammate trent alexander arnold. but it was not that that caught our attention, but his closeness with a girl whose identity we still do not know.

jude bellingham has been in a romantic relationship with y/n verstappen, the younger sister of the triple world champion in formula 1.

are there problems in paradise? follow me so you don't miss any news

view comments

y/njudefans you are creating drama where there is none. it is a simple photo and we don't know the context behind it.

username he is a footballer, that already makes him a cheater

username i agree

vertappenssource was max's warning not clear enough?

username i saw it coming, she deserves better

username poor y/n:( i always thought she looked more in love than him

username for god's sake, stop assuming things and creating meaningless gossip

sunshine streamed through the window of our shared madrid apartment, casting a warm glow on everything it touched. except me. my phone, usually buzzing with life, lay silent on the coffee table. the cheerful chirping of birds outside mocked the turmoil brewing within me. a single picture, a single stolen moment, had shattered my world.

jude was in california for a commercial shoot. missing him terribly, i was holding down the fort back in madrid. social media, my usual source of joy, had become a minefield. a gossip page had exploded with a photo: jude, seemingly handsy with a random girl at a party. the caption screamed betrayal. my phone had become a vessel of concern, overflowing with messages from worried friends and fans.

"he wouldn't do that," i whispered, denial laced with a sliver of doubt. i knew Jude. i knew his loyalty, his unwavering love and i knew how harmful the networks could be. yet, the photo gnawed at me, a seed of suspicion taking root.

i decided to take my phone, just because i knew how worried my brother would be until now and i had to talk to him. and almost as if he read my mind, a video call from him came in

"hello liefje," he muttered, almost as if he was expecting me to explode at any moment. "i know how things may look right now, talk to jude before you do anything rash, you know how the media is."

"I know, it just took me by surprise. and I'm not going to lie, it hurt me a little but i know there is an explanation behind it." i told him, even though it wasn't a compromising photo, seeing him so close to another woman had made me think.

"in any case, let me know and i'll go beat him up." max answered me, pretending to hit his fists which made me genuinely laugh.

after talking to max for a while i felt calmer, but i still knew that i had to talk to jude, who i had not responded to for hours because i knew that my feelings were going to betray me.

days bled into one another. calls from jude went unanswered, my voicemails a silent plea for explanation. the silence stretched, a suffocating weight on my chest. i retreated into myself, a fortress of hurt and confusion.

then, the door creaked open, shattering the suffocating silence. jude, his face etched with worry, rushed in, his arms outstretched for me. i flinched, the photo flashing in my mind.

"where have you been?" he sighed, relief washing over his features. "why haven't you been answering my calls?"

his voice, laced with concern, chipped away at the walls i'd built. tears welled up in my eyes, a torrent threatening to burst. i thrust my phone at him, the photo accusingly displayed on the screen.

jude's brow furrowed in confusion as he looked at the picture. understanding dawned, followed by a wave of frustration.

"baby, i know what this looks like, but she was there for a photo. the media just took everything out of context, i would never be able to lie to you, you know." shame colored my cheeks.

"i should have called you," he admitted, his voice laced with regret.

i reached out, taking his hand in mines. "i should have trusted you," i whispered, the words heavy with unspoken hurt.

the silence that followed wasn't suffocating anymore. it was filled with the promise of a new beginning. we spent the night talking, clearing the air, the misunderstanding dissolving in the warmth of shared apologies and renewed trust.

the next morning, i woke up to the gentle sunlight and the feeling of jude's arm wrapped around me. he pulled me closer, his lips brushing against my ear.

"maybe next time, we travel together," he murmured, his voice a husky whisper.

i smiled, a genuine one this time. "no more long-distance misunderstandings," i agreed, snuggling closer.

the internet storm eventually subsided, replaced by messages of support and well-wishes. our love story, a little richer for having weathered a storm, continued, a testament to the power of communication and trust.

judebellingham uploaded to their story;

[caption; my one and only]

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phyrestartr · 4 months

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Icarus Drabbles (Pt.3) | Sukuna x M!Reader

W/C: 3k #NSFW, Modern AU, ABO dynamics, bottom!reader, top!sukuna, Mob Boss!Sukuna, Alpha!Sukuna, Street Doctor!Reader, Omega!Reader, toxic relationships, age gap, sukuna is mid 30s, yuuji gang and reader are mid 20s, sukuna and yuuji are brothers, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, blowies are received and given, mentions of character death

tags: @kamote-kuneho @prettorett @better-imagination-9 @flowersatwork @tr4nniez

Done Deal

“You let me fuck you, and I'll give you anything you want.” That was his proposition. No more flirting, no more attempts to seduce you, just his obsessive pining resulting in a deal.

But you didn't seem too bothered sitting across the desk from none other than Ryoumen Sukuna, who lounged comfortably, puffing on a cigar like he didn't just offer to pay you for sex. Granted, it wasn't just the sex he wanted. It was more than that.

You took a moment before speaking. “I thought you were the kind of guy who'd take without asking.”

“Who, me? Come on, sweetheart, I'm a gentleman.” Sukuna grinned and watched you wave the coils of smoke out of your face.

You looked him over, not betraying your thoughts. “And if I refuse?”

Sukuna's smile simmered down, unamused with the mere concept of rejection. “I'll still get what I want. And you'll leave here penniless.” His men locked the doors loudly at the other end of the vast office, making their point. “So? What’ll it be?”

You took a slow breath. “I want a condo. In Tokyo.”

“That's it?”

“Paid in full.”

“Now you’re talkin'.”

You stood from your chair and walked around the desk as you unzipped your jacket. “And my name's going on title.”

Sukuna undressed you with his eyes like the millions of times he'd done so prior. “Ho? You wanna be the one to pay all the taxes, huh?” He turned his chair to you as you approached. Sukuna spread his legs wider to make room for you to stand between, but you instead boldly straddled his lap. He knew he liked you for a reason.

“I can forward them to you.”

“You think I'll pay them?” One of his broad palms groped at your ass. His stomach coiled with excitement; he was going to enjoy ripping you apart.

“I know you will,” you hummed. Sweetly, you tilted Sukuna's chin up to get a good look at his handsome face.

“Oh?”

“Mhm.”

“‘N why's that?” Sukuna whispered.

“Because you want to.” Your hands slipped down his neck, down to his shoulders. “Because you think I'll come back for more.”

“I know you'll come back for more.”

“If you live long enough,” you sighed before plucking the cigar from his fingers and snuffing it out. “These things'll kill you, you know.”

Sukuna fucked you on his desk moments after. His men stayed in the room all the while, watching and shifting with unease or simmering urges of his own. He vaguely recalled taking a phone call, too.

So how the hell did we end up here? He had to wonder; back then, he bribed you for your affection, paid you handsomely but purposefully left you wanting more and more and more. He wanted to provide for you, in a weird, twisted way, and that was his method since, well, he wasn't ever sure he'd really get you to stay.

Yet there he was, waking up in a house with his husband next to him and his daughter in the crib beside you. It felt so…bizarrely natural. Normal. Almost like he met a need he didn't even know he had.

He hardly spent his nights at his casino, Malevolent Shrine, any longer. He didn't wander the floors looking for liars and easy targets for his dealers. He didn't head up to his penthouse at the crack of dawn with a new dame on his arm every night; he wanted to come here, to the home he had built to house his new family. Sukuna wanted to collapse into this bed, hear you bitch and moan about Gojo or Geto or whatever idiot employed you that day, spend time with his little pup and listen to her yip and babble about nothing and everything. He wanted these moments. He wanted to cherish the little sparks of light in his life before the universe snuffed them out like–

Gramps is dead, Yuuji had said, voice quivering on the other end of the line. What do we do?

Sukuna closed his eyes and rubbed his face, willing away the memory. He hadn't had to act like a big brother in so long, but the instinct came rushing back to him the second he heard his little brother in tears. It was all handled swiftly, everything from the cremation, to probate, to settling the estate–but the weight of death and finality clung to the air like petrichor after a storm.

Sukuna looked to your sleeping face for respite. It helped to see you, to be reminded that you'd chosen to stay with him through thick and thin. Still, he couldn't help but remember what his grandfather asked him the day he met Touka.

Where does this end, kid?

This. The gang life. The life that's too unrefined and brutal to be considered yakuza. Because Sukuna didn't deal in honour. He dealt in violence, drugs and money–that voice spoke louder than honour and family.

But didn't he reclaim his family? Didn't he honour you with change?

Where does this end, kid?

Maybe with honour and family.

“I can feel you having a crisis,” your scratchy voice mumbled through the static in Sukuna's mind. Your eyes opened a crack to find his own crimson set before you wriggled up to him and half-laid on his chest. “What's wrong?”

“Your bony-ass chin’s digging into my tit.”

“Mmmh.”

“You like money more, or me?” He asked.

You snorted. “I like you and your money equally.” You let your head loll to the side to press your cheek against his chest. “But I like you more, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I'm kidding, idiot. If I cared about money, I would've married into the Zenin family.” You sat up and looked down at your partner with bleary eyes. “Where's this coming from anyway?”

Sukuna huffed and scowled at the ceiling. “Nowhere. It's nothing. Forget it.”

“Don't be a little bitch. Just tell me.” And when he didn't budge, you added, “Suku. Come on.” And when he still refused to cooperate, you resorted to, “Alpha, please?”

His eyes snapped to you so fucking fast it made his face burst into flames. You grinned, so stupidly enthralled and in love with how the gross, domestic pet name fucked him up and--fucking hell, it was so cute but so annoying.

“Fuck you.”

“N'awe, you're such a cutie sometimes.” You purred in delight and nuzzled all over his face. “My cute, sweet, broody alpha that I love so, so, so much.”

“Shut up,” he snarled before viciously nuzzling back and attacking you with puppy nips and rude licks to your face. “Fucking omega. You're such a pain in the ass, you know that?”

“So are you. That's why we work well together, right?” You held his face still and planted a proper kiss on his lips. “We'll be fine. No matter what happens.”

Your alpha took a deep breath while he looked up at you, and sighed. You looked so calm and collected about the whole thing, so relaxed in the jaws of a shark that could eat you whole and leave nothing behind. Guess that was why he was so enamored with you. Only petty things, like the shitty little fish that nipped at toes, wore you down. Not the big, bad, unknown depths of the ocean.

“You believe me?” You asked as you pinched his nose.

Sukuna grimaced and tugged your hand away from his nose. “Fuckin’–yeah, I believe you.” He bit your fingers in revenge.

It was your turn to make a face. “Disgusting.”

“You wuv id,” Sukuna managed around your digits, grinning like an idiot.

“I have bad taste in men.” You yanked your fingers free when you heard your little one coo and shuffle in her crib. Sukuna always found himself impressed with how fast your omega responded to the littlest of noises, always automatically cooing and trilling back to your baby like you'd done it your whole life.

“But you sure you're alright?” You asked as you scooped up the little one.

Sukuna sat up and leaned back against the headboard as you settled down beside him again. “‘M fine. Just…thinking.”

“About your grandfather?”

“Guess so.”

You nodded and leaned into him, chest purring with comfortable vibrato as his heavy arm looped around you and pulled you close.

“He was a good man. Lived a good life. Long one, too.”

“Guess you’re not wrong. Don’t seem too torn up about it,” Sukuna grumbled, vaguely aware he was on the precipice of starting an early-morning argument.

“People die,” you said, looking down at your babe. “He was old as fuck. I’d talked to him about life and death a thousand times anyway. His point of view on things helped me see things differently.”

“Oh?” Sukuna’s attention snapped down to your little one as her cherry-red eyes sleepily blinked open. “‘N what the hell did the old fart tell you, huh?”

You smiled as Touka screeched happily, reaching up for her father and wiggling around in your lap until she could slug her way over to him (with much help from your guiding hands, of course). Sukuna, the fraidy cat that he was, awkwardly tried to aid his baby girl with crawling onto his lap, too. You kind of understood why–his hand was about as big as her body. He was probably afraid of smooshing her.

“He told me energy can never be destroyed. It can only change shape and form. It’s the same with our souls.”

“The fuck does that mean?” Sukuna grumbled as his daughter determinedly tried to stand to reach his face. You moved to help her stand, but he huffed and took over, uttering a grumpy ‘I got it’ as he carefully, carefully held her up onto her feet like one would a kitten.

You smiled, so horribly smitten. “It means our bodies die, but our spirits can’t. They just change form before coming back and living life all over again.”

“Hmph. Sounds stupid as–” Sukuna paused as a tiny hand landed on his mouth.

“Bah!” Touka chirped.

You pursed your lips and melted into your partner, a happy, summer scent pooling around the three of you.

“Mhm, daddy’s a cranky little bitch, huh, baby?”

“Big bitch,” Sukuna corrected, words muffled by the tiny overlord. He opened his mouth wide, lightly chomping on her pudgy little hand with the gentlest pibble nibbles he could manage. Judging by her squealing laughter, he was doing an okay job.

“Cranky big bitch–my bad.” You rolled your eyes and exhaled deeply. “But yeah, that’s basically it. Mentioned some stuff about soulmates–platonic or romantic or otherwise–tending to find each other in their next lives too. So, technically, you could be holding your grandfather reincarnated right now–”

“Babe, don’t make this fucking weird,” Your husband groaned.

You laughed, loud and brash, before nuzzling him. “Sorry, sorry. Can’t help myself.”

Sukuna scoffed, furrowed brow only easing as Touka assaulted him with little pats all over his face.

“You’re a nightmare.” He leaned in and nuzzled his baby’s round cheeks with playful growls. “You’re a smaller fucking nightmare. Spitting image of your mum. How the fuck is that fair, huh?”

“Well, you better get used to it,” you taunted. “She’s the only one you’re getting.”

Wait. What?

Devour

It’d been a while since Sukuna had handled an interrogation. He’d stepped away from doing it himself when you’d both gotten back together officially, thinking you’d be upset if you found out he was still beating the fuck out of rats and cheats wandering through his casino–but the opposite turned out to be true.

You didn’t really care. You didn’t mind it at all, actually. You only requested he kept that sort of business away from the curious gaze of the little girl you both doted on incessantly.

So, he took it to the basement of Malevolent Shrine.

“Y'know, I really needed this,” Sukuna sighed, loosening his tie a bit more before he leaned against the table of lethal instruments and wiped the blood from his split knuckles. “Kid keeps me up all night. Wife's always bitching ‘bout being tired. ‘N then I got dipshits like you sneaking in, trying to access restricted floors.”

The man he regarded scoffed, probably unable to catch his breath to clap back or, well, breathe. The sight had Sukuna grinning, pure delight and satisfaction coiling in his chest.

“Got somethin’ to say?”

The man coughed and tried to pull himself up from where he lay splayed on the floor. Sukuna never tied up his guests, no no, he always gave them a fair, fighting chance, stating they could go free if they could get past him. None ever did.

“Y-you do this to that omega you stole?” The stranger managed as soon as he got on his knees. “Lock ‘im in a room, make them fight their way out?”

Sukuna quirked a brow and crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Only omega I've had in here is the wife.”

“Bullshit,” he spat. “You stole one that was sold to my benefactor.”

The mob boss sighed and scratched the back of his head. “That's what you're here for? An omega that I never had?” Sukuna pushed off the table. “Well, that makes shit boring. You're here on a delusion.”

“It's not–”

“Then who do you work for?”

As expected, the idiot clammed up. Sukuna tutted. Why did all these bastards have to play hard to get?

Ah, but then he had an epiphany--hadn't you mentioned marrying into the Zenin family? You brought it up not too long ago, back when Sukuna first started spiraling about life and death, about where his world of chaos would take him in the end.

If I cared about money, I would've married into the Zenin family.

Right. That's what you said.

“Zenin Naoya,” Sukuna guessed. The heir was a rampant misogynistic piece of shit, wanting nothing to do with women on any level--but you? A man who could bear children, albeit through difficult means? That'd be invaluable to someone like Naoya. He could have his cake and eat it too.

And by the way the crook's body tensed, Sukuna figured he hit the nail on the head.

“No shit. That little freak’s really outdoing himself this time.” Sukuna laughed wildly, enthralled that he managed to piss off the Zenin heir by taking his bitch and knocking him up. God, the damage this would do to Naoya's ego.

“I'll let ya in on a little secret,” Sukuna sang, turning to the table and grabbing a set of pliers. “I wifed up that omega. Knocked him up already. Hopin’ he'll let up on the ‘one pup only’ policy. He's been real fuckin’ strict on the birth control, lemme tell ya.”

“He won't forgive this,” the crook bit out. “He won't just–”

Thwack. Sukuna cracked him upside the head and knelt on his chest, jamming the tool into his mouth and breaking a few teeth on the way in.

“Fucker can try,” Sukuna murmured, voice growing thick with malice. His ruby eyes gleamed with predatory promise. “Killing him's at the top of my bucket list.”

–

You were definitely possessed.

How could you not be? You'd just seen your baby daddy (your very cut, handsome, snarky baby daddy) beat the shit out of one of your tormentor's grunts

“Babe,” Sukuna moaned as you swallowed him down your throat again. You'd taken him hostage in the elevator the second he was done his deeds downstairs. It proved to be…somewhat problematic as people continued to open the doors, but eventually Sukuna hit the emergency stop button, nearly shattering the console.

You hummed around him, pressing your tongue against thick, pulsing veins and squeezing at his base and sacks intermittently while your head bobbed to the beat of whatever tinny jazz played in the elevator. You kind of liked the tune. It sparked the idea of playing music next time Sukuna bedded you–

Bedded you. Ah. That seemed like a good next step.

You pulled back with a disgusting pop and fought to catch your breath between leaving wet kisses and hickeys along his stiff length. Your hand worked him firm and fast, eager to get him to fall apart under your feverish, hypnotic touch.

And he was close. You could tell by the way his hand held the back of your head, fingernails digging into your scalp every time you did something so, so right and so, so unbelievably good for the big bad mob boss you'd tricked into staying faithful to you. You figured you'd reward him for being such a good boy. It's what he deserved for sacrificing his freedom for you, and, quite frankly, you thought you'd been slacking on the praise.

“Gonna cum?” You hummed, looking up at your partner through wet lashes. “Hm?”

Sukuna groaned. His fangs bit into his lip as he stared down at you, pupils blown wide, eclipsing the red of his iris.

You smiled politely. “Mmh. I'll take that as a yes.” You kissed along his skin until reaching his weeping tip and giving it a gentle peck. “Where do you want it? On my face? In my mouth? Down my throat?”

He bucked forward, jamming his tip between your lips and hissing when he felt the scratch of teeth against him. You sighed like he was such a nuisance, and opened up wide again, whining as he gripped your hair up into a messy, shitty ponytail before fucking into your mouth with reckless abandon.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck–” His body shuddered and he slammed inside one more time, squeezing his thick knot into your strained mouth and locking it behind your teeth as he rutted against your face, spilling down your throat.

Your soft gags and chokes only made it better. He pulled your head closer, pressing your cute nose against the hazy line of his happy trail in a dizzy attempt to ground himself through the aftershocks of such a sudden turn of events. Going from beating the shit out of a sniveling sod to this was–

Your frantic smacking against his arm signaled your tap out. Sukuna cursed under his breath and worked in tandem with you to wiggle free the stiff problem stuffing your mouth and throat full.

You gasped for breath. Drool and tears poured down your face as you coughed and swallowed whatever didn't have the chance to slip out of your aching mouth, and you wiped your mouth half-heartedly with the back of your hand. Sukuna hadn't seen a sight like that in a long, long while. Something so reminiscent of the early days of being bribed and paid for your services.

“Christ,” Sukuna breathed as he brushed your hair out of your pretty face. “How much do I owe ya for that, huh?”

You laughed between coughs before kissing his clothed thigh. “Just don't think I've appreciated you enough lately, you know?” You cleaned him up best you could before tucking your man away and standing to loop your arms around his shoulders.

Sukuna caught your scent then; you smelled sweeter than usual. Warmer, too. Fuller. Something that reminded him of dough in the oven, billowing all around him and filling his senses with sinful sweetness.

Your heat was on the horizon.

Sukuna smirked and switched the key holding the elevator closed and inoperable on the ground floor, and it started on its journey up, up, up. Time to get you back in bed.

“Not appreciatin’ me enough, huh. Well, I was gonna mention it–”

“Shut up. Don't be stupid right now.”

Sukuna's grin grew. He leaned down, leaving soft kisses and nips along your neck, being sure to pay special attention to the scars he'd left behind.

“You love when I talk shit.”

“You're free to believe that.”

“Oh? Then tell me what you've been appreciating about me, sweetheart. I'm all ears.”

The doors opened to the penthouse floor, and you fought to drag the other out first.

“Your ass,” you replied, nearly exploding inside as Sukuna kicked the (unlocked) door in. Damn, how come he could do that so easily?

“What else?” Sukuna's lips found yours time after time as you both fumbled your way toward the bedroom.

You yelped as he threw you onto the bed. “J-Jesus–how strong you are.”

“Yeah?” Sukuna kicked his dress shoes off and yanked your kicks off, too, before you had a chance to complain about shoes being on in the house. “Tell me more.”

“That's about it.” A sweet laugh bubbled out of you as he slipped in between your legs and kissed you like this was some highschool romcom.

“Oh? Lying now, aren't we?”

“I think I need to examine you a little to remember, you know?”

With all the strength you could muster, you turned the tables and flipped Sukuna onto his back, straddling his waist and running your hands up and down his chest. He still couldn't tell how you did it, but you flicked open every button of his dress shirt with unfathomable finesse before tracing the dips and curves of his defined muscles with teasing fingertips.

“Hmmm…this is nice,” you murmured, taking your time to drink in the scar-riddled expanse of glowing, bronze skin. You scooted back, down his legs, to be able to plant soft kisses around his navel.

Sukuna watched you with blown-out eyes; you were always good at teasing, at making sex electric and better than just cramming his cock into a hole. Secretly, he liked being pushed to the brink of insanity. Soft touches, whispered kisses, silent praise–it was all so your brand.

“What else?” Sukuna rasped as you left cheeky marks around his happy trail.

“Hm. I wonder.” You took your time sidling up on his lap again, your hands taking charge and leading you up, up, up to his cut jawline and striking cheekbones. “This is nice, too.”

Sukuna licked his lips. “Yeah?” He Asked as he held your waist.

“Mhm.” Your thumb stroked against his bottom lip thoughtfully before hooking inside and yanking his mouth open like a fish on a line. “This is a problem, though.”

Your mate's heart thrummed like thunder. Rarely would he ever admit to liking being used, but when it came to you, his precious little trophy, Sukuna found himself far too eager to please. Too eager to consume. Too eager to be consumed. He could only hope you'd wreck him with whatever you wanted to do with that mouth of his.

“Oh?” Sukuna breathed. Christ, his slacks were too fucking tight again. “The fuck you gonna do about it?”

You sighed and shook your head. “God's work, I guess.” And you almost seemed burdened by what you ‘had to do’ as you loosened your waistband and wriggled up until you were straddling his broad chest with your weeping tip pressing against his lips.

Sukuna grinned. “You think I'm gonna–” but he was more prepared for your rude push into his mouth than he let on–or he thought he was, anyway. He'd never really given head before, not really, but he'd given you a couple of handjobs in the past. Still, you were bigger than he remembered. Not as comically, ridiculously, stupidly big as Sukuna’s third leg, but you could probably stuff someone to the point of tears if you really felt the need.

And, well, you were leaving tears in Sukuna's eyes, so theory confirmed.

“You're really bad at this,” you laughed. You held onto the headboard as you pushed into his mouth, letting him get used to it and adjust as a good mate should (maybe Sukuna should've taken notes). Thankfully, the man was a quick learner and a keener. He got used to the feeling of your length nudging against his throat, and posed himself a challenge to push it further.

His hand grabbed at your ass and he pulled you closer, drowning in the sound of your warbled gasp mixing with a surprised yelp. Sukuna's other hand brute-forced his slacks open and fisted around his pulsing hard-on to the rhythm of your greedy thrusts into his mouth, down his tight, inexperienced throat.

Your hips jolted and stuttered. Your hips stayed plastered to his face with weaker and weaker thrusts. Your forehead clunked against the rim of the headboard as your breathing got faster and faster, laced with tiny ah-ah-ah-s until–until–

“Shit–” you tried to pull away from him, tried to save him the grief of having to swallow down a load of cum (first time was always a terrible, terrible experience), but he wouldn't let you yank your hips away; his broad palm pressed against the small of your back and forced you flush against him, his nose pressing against skin as he swallowed and moaned around you like he'd been deepthroating cock his whole career.

Somewhere in the haze of lightning and sparks, you felt him shudder and jolt under you, too. Then, like you'd done not so long ago, a swift tapping on your leg signaling, tap out, tap out!

“Oh–fuck, sorry,” you babbled, hurriedly pulling yourself back and out of his mouth to let him breathe. “You're kind of a natural. I'm shocked.”

Sukuna was too busy coughing and fighting to catch his breath to snap back at you, though, and you couldn't help but laugh.

“Shut it,” he scolded with a swift spank. “Spunk tastes like shit.”

“But you’re not a spitter nor a quitter. You should be proud.” You smiled like the cheeky little shit you were before shimmying off your joggers and tossing them aside. “You did pretty well. Colour me impressed.”

“‘Course I did, who the fuck do you think I am?” He brought his other hand out of his pants and held them up to you, sticky with his own spend. “Deal with this.”

You whistled, and the heat in your face increased tenfold. “I guess you liked it. Good to know,” you said before holding his hand by the wrist and licking up.

“I'd be a freak if I didn't wanna make my bitch cum. ‘Specially when he's in heat ‘n primed to reopen the baby-making factory.”

You looked at him, eyes round and owlish, before abandoning the mess on his hand in favour of kissing him.

“The factory's open,” you assured, no doubt temporarily hypnotized by your body's desire to make your stupid alpha happy.

Sukuna rumbled a purr deep in his chest as he smirked. He'd gladly seize the moment.

“Let’s clock in and get to work, then.”

–

Five is Better Than Three

Sukuna paced back and forth outside the bathroom door, impatient and anxious, waiting for you to just fucking tell me what the hell the deal was.

But Sukuna was anything but a patient man.

“Babe,” he growled, knocking on the door incessantly. “How long does It take to piss on a stick?”

You scoffed. “I'm just--I'm trying to double check, you dumb bitch, shut up.” Your voice quivered the slightest bit, a soft sniffle or two barely making it above the radar.

Sukuna sucked his teeth. He ran his hands through his hair and growled to himself, trying trying trying to stay patient, stay calm, stay–

“Sukuna,” you snapped when the door flung open. You were standing at the counter, an array of different pregnancy tests laid out before you neatly with you lording over them, face hot and eyes shimmering with…grief? Relief? Happiness? Sukuna didn't know, he didn't know.

“Kept me waiting long enough, you fucking brat,” he came up behind you and stared down, clearing your noggin with ease and ignoring your grouchy quips and pinches.

“I was–I just needed a minute, you stupid fuck, I'm--it's a lot!” You tried to push him away but, well, the man was an immovable object, and you were far from an unstoppable force. In the realm of physicality, at least.

“Sukuna–”

“This shit is like hieroglyphics,” he complained, picking up a test and squinting at it. His other hand held your waist to stop you from running away to hide.

“It, uh. It means–well, I still need to get checked out officially but, uh, y'know. It's a yes. For now. Tentatively. All the tests are positive.”

Sukuna exploded with happy puppy scent. He threw down the test and wrapped his arms around you, picking your smaller form up and swinging you around like a shotty romcom man should.

And you laughed through your tears. You hugged him back once he put you down, and exploded into choked laugh-sobs as you pressed your face into his chest. His nice, strong, muscular chest that looked so good in that black tank top.

“Oi, oi, what're the damn waterworks for, huh?” Sukuna asked through a wolfish grin.

“I don't know, okay, just shut up.” You snuffled a few more times before sighing. “Maybe I'm just relieved that an old man like you still has a sperm count.”

“Hah. Big talk from a whore usin’ birth control and making me use a fucking condom ‘just in case.’” He nuzzled at your neck and purred deep in his chest. “Even then, my goods slipped through the cracks, huh? Doubt even getting your tubes tied could stop me from knockin’ your pretty little ass up, sweetheart.”

You bit his tit while he cackled like a madman. “You're fucking gross and I hate you.”

“N'awe. Would creaming on my cock make you feel better?”

“No. Well, maybe later. But coffee and breakfast might subdue me right now.”

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