#thats unrelated to the book at all it was probably just put in there on accident

[starswallowingsea]

I got some historic books for Christmas and found these absolutely endearing drawings by a child in one of them. I believe the book is Little Journeys to the Homes of American Authors, published in the 1890s, though I'm missing the first 60 pages including the title page and any sort of publication date it would have had.

[reel-fear]

Any shockbee headcanons you haven't shared here? 👀

GOSH,,, theres probably a few considering how obsessed with them I am and I certainly will never quite be done talking abt them KJNDSFKJGNSFDGKJNDFGSD.

I'm not sure if this is a hc or more speculating on a possible au but I think if Shockwave had told Bee who he was before things went all fucky with Wasp and such Bee would've been shocked yes but I don't think Bee would've wanted to turn him in. I think at first he very much would've underestimated how big of a deal dating a secret con would be and would just kind of treat it like a cool forbidden romance which would end with both side happily singing together. If you've ever heard "We See The Light"from something rotten yeah thats how Bee imagines it I think.

More on speculating on that idea I wish we had more fics exploring the idea of a world where in boot camp Shockwave came clean bc I think Bee being kinda ignorant in his understanding of the cons would be an interesting idea to explore. Bee tells him to just join the autobots bc they are the "good guys" and doesnt realize how tasteless that is. He insists the autobots would react better to Shockwave being a con than is likely bc Shockwaves 'not like the other cons' idk I think it would be interesting drama-

Bumblebee in boot camp was very prone to letting his insecurities and his inner fears make a fool of himself in their relationship. I think if Longarm started to get in good will with almost any other mech Bee would've started PANICKING thinking it would most certainly be the perfect excuse for Longarm to drop him like a piece of trash and ditch him. Which leads to him purposely doing dumb stuff to impress Longarm and try to keep his relationship a float. Sometimes its funny, sometimes its tiring and Shockwave was prolly relieved to see Bee go through a bit of development with not being so insecure bc yeah Bee kinda lets them get to him sometimes-

Bee has a HUGE tendency in boot camp to give into peer pressure and then drag Longarm into it. Ironhide brought vodka into the barracks? Well quick Longarm we have to drink it too otherwise we're chicken! Shockwave finds it somewhat endearing bc it leads to him doing things he never would have otherwise and its fun to be reckless sometimes but also Bee please put the fireworks away this isn't worth street cred-

Bee is very openly affectionate in front of others, Shockwave rarely stops him bc they are very touch starved and I think I've said this before but if the cons/autobots ever made a Warrior cats style 'its illegal to date people on the opposite faction' law punishable by death they would die first-

Bee has undiagnosed dyslexia, Longarm quickly becomes his proof reader for reports and boot camp assignments.

Bee has a ton of posters, decorations and strange things in his room, Longarm has those set ups people make fun of for being the pinnacle of single men having no decorations or furniture.

Longarm keeps a diary type book full of reports on day to day activities just for himself, Bee has started several diaries and uses them for a few days before ditching them.

As far as Shockwave is concerned every joke is funny as long as Bee is the one saying it and nobody agrees but Bee loves it.

Shockwave fidgets and moves his antlers a lot when he is thinking, he denies this but Bee has noticed it a lot. He's pretty much memeorized most of Longarm's fidgets and general way he acts

Bc of this I think if Shockwave were to meet Bee and just pretend he was unrelated to Longarm n such Bee would actually piece the truth out himself bc he was never observent in class, but he could stare at his wonderful boyfriend Longarm for hours...

Autism and ADHD love they have <3 their brains just click together a lot of the time and Bee helps Longarm unlearn his constant need to mask.

These are all the ones I can think of rn, really trying to avoid treading over ground I already touched on KJDNSFGKJDNFSGKJNFDGSD, EITHER WAY, I hope u like hearing me spill more brain thoughts-

[mara-and-its-the-same]

living in the past, it's a new generation - tell me as much as you want to about yourself and I'll make a mood board of what i imagine your past life would be (i'm obsessed with historical fashion, let me indulge myself)

this is so creative oh my goodness how do you come up with these??? also i went a little overboard while talking about myself i hope thats ok<3

i'm an isfj, and i'm fairly shy. i have anxiety, and i get really quiet in social settings- i have 3 close friends who mean the world to me, and i'm part of a really small friend group but i value individual friendships much more because of how intimate they are. i listen to music quite often, read too much (i get caught up in books really easily), listen to a lot of music - taylor swift wrote mirrorball for me - and i'm an academic validation girlie. my aesthetic is somewhere in between coastal granddaughter and coquette- i kind of dress like rory gilmore, i wear flared jeans a lot and floral or lacy tops. 

i use she/her pronouns, and i'm straight but mayyybe bi?? i like to think i'm feminine- i love perfume and lavender and candles and claw clips and locket jewelry. i'm 5'2, petite, and i have medium-length hair that's light brown in the winter and strawberry blonde in the summer (idk but something about the sun changes its color, i don't know how). i'm really fair skinned, blush easily, and i have a few freckles- i get sunburned really easily so i try to take really good care of my skin. my teeth aren't very straight but i like to think it's a cute little character flaw haha.

i'm a ballet dancer but i also ice skate for fun, and i play touch football in the spring. i'm also obsessed with pearls. i write a lot as well- mostly poetry, but i don't post it on here lol. i adore pretty trinkets and dresses, iced matchas from starbucks, gracie abrams, romcoms, and pale pink converse. my favorite show is gilmore girls & anne with an e, and my favorite movies are little women (2019) and dead poets society. thank you<33

babe, why do we have the same hair except mine is only red because it's so stained

And also, don't apologize for talking about yourself. This is science, I need DATA!!!! It's also an excuse for me to know you better<3 (this is also gonna be lowkey fantasized because old times be rough and I'm not gonna put your past self through that) We are here for lighthearted gaiety!!!! Nothing more, nothing less!

Anyway, I got carried away and made a pinterest board rather than a mood board, sorry, but anyway, absolutely 100% certainly late victorian ballerina

I kinda feel like its low hanging fruit cus like, you said you love ballet but honestly I was thinking it the whole time, I just got lucky when you confirmed it el oh el

I think you wouldn't be nobility exactly, but like gilded age and whatever, you'd have money so you get a fancy education and excel in all your courses but then you start ballet and you're definitely better than everyone there too. So you eventually become on of the most famous ballerinas and duh everybody wants to be you or be with you but you're like naaahhhh I have enough friends, thank you though. BUT THeN! One day, at some dinner party your obscenely wealthy grandma is having in your honor at her beach mansion house (because you're the bestest ballerina of them all) you meet gaspspps A Devilishly dashing (person of whatever gender you're feelin, I won't tell you what to do) and it's a relentless back and forth of will-they-wont-they and your friends all say yes but you say no because "they're probably just like everyone else, they don't want me for me, they want me for what I do, what I could offer them"

BUT THEN! dun dun dun,,,a totally random accident that happens out of nowhere and is completely unrelated to dance (i'm hella superstitious and if you think i'm putting that out there? Haha no way), leads you to an early retirement because you still love to dance but the fame isn't all you bargained for, so you move to the seaside and DUN DUN DUN! Who comes to visit??? Your beloved suitor!! and then you have a beautiful life filled with perfume bottles, lockets, lavender sprigs, and beach picnics <3

ummmm I got very carried away but i hope you liked it <3

[wander-wren]

i was trying to avoid spoilers under the assumption that i would Eventually getting around to reading tbc and asc, but im bored and i want to watch videos about them and i probably wont read them for a long time, so i went to the wiki to see whats up!

my official take on tbc is that the concepts seem very cool, but i cant say much about the execution or smaller details ofc. ashfur being the imposter feels like a really good choice, i dont know if thats controversial, i'm like 3 years late to all this lmao but i thought i saw some posts about him not making sense.

i mean, his connection to squilf and bramblestar alone...plus, yeah, he wasn't super into the code in life, but all of the events leading to his death WERE caused by codebreaking, and with leafpool especially going to starclan after inadvertently contributing to Ruining His Life, he might get mad about it? i kinda get it. also the whole concept of him possessing ashfur is so so horrifying and sad to me and has anyone written fic about this from squilf's pov???

also, ALSO, i skimmed a light in the mist plot summary bc i was still bored but it seemed cool. i dont remember if people were mad about that when i came out, just that it was Everywhere. kudos to the erins for actually carrying a plot through six books instead of splitting it in half for the first time since, like, tpb. po3 and oots dont count bc they didnt Have a plot.

but i was trying to think about why the new gen (arcs 6-8) arent as popular/getting much attention and why the fandom is slowly falling off post-oots. which, there are a lot of reasons, but this is one of the main ones i haven't seen anyone discuss yet (tbf, again, i was avoiding spoilers until literally today, so).

like, think about the new prophecy, power of three, and omen of the stars. they all happen VERY close together and are deeply intertwined. lionblaze and jayfeather even get to be pov characters for 2 arcs instead of one! and no pov characters die! except flametail but eh!

then we get to avos. we lose needletail, what, three books in? then violetshine literally becomes a mom to one of the broken code protags, and, again, only reading plot summaries, but she Never Came Up. neither did twigbranch. alderheart did some, mostly by virtue of being a medicine cat and therefore important to the plot.

and now, in the broken code, we've lost bristlefrost. i havent gotten to a starless clan yet, that's next, but i know flamepaw/nightheart is sparkpelt's kid, and sunbeam and frostpaw are the kids of random side characters (at least, they didnt stand out to me?). i'm not saying it's inherently bad that they're not connected to the previous protags (you could argue its a positive for sure), but it's contributing to this feeling of disconnection in the new books, i think.

i DONT think we should keep doing firekin as protags. i am perfectly happy putting that line to rest. but we introduced twig and violet and needletail, those are brand new bloodlines and focusing on them instead would be really really cool.

what you did the first time worked, erins! do that again! like. they had the opportunity to decimate the clans in oots and essentially start with a clean slate for avos/tbc/asc, but they chickened out. changes to the code shouldve been FIRST. new mains unrelated to firestar shouldve been FIRST.

actually, avos did have that potential. that was Good and Correct except for the part where there were no significant culture changes and too many tnp-era cats are still around. but like, okay, firekin! we like firekin! alderheart is my BOY. he is familiar, or related to familiarity. GOOD. he brings in needletail, twigbranch, and violetshine, so they feel connected to familiarity too, rather than just "heres some kids of cats you've never heard of. care about them."

and then they just. gave us bristlefrost and shadowsight. more firekin, woo. forget about twig and violet, oh and needletail is dead btw. i'm sure everyone has talked and talked about the tragedy of finally getting a she-cat who doesnt want kits but it's TWIGBRANCH. ugh.

anyway, yeah. all the protagonists for the first four arcs were interconnected and important to each other and i'm not getting that at all with the new arcs and i think thats why its hard for me and other fans to like, care.

plus also firestar and other fan favorites died and the prequels immediately came out and stalled the continuity for a while at just the right moment when a lot of fans were poised to lose interest. and then they did. and here we are.

this isn't what i meant to make a post on but i did! woo

[iamthekarmapolice]

started reading ‘all this could be more’ because it came across as sally rooney except by a queer indian woman who’s in the US on a visa which i was at one point also. shes even south indian like me to boot.  so i really thought this one was going to move me and like. maybe i need to have been in my early 20s to get it??? i certainly didnt have the happiest time in the US in my early 20s either but it wasnt unrelenting misery all the time either??

i think thats the main thing about these kinds of books (every book by sally rooney, exciting times, this book, that one about those two girls in the apartment building) that put me off, which is that the main characters just seem utterly joyless 100% of the time, and they’re always in jobs that they don’t like and friends with people that don’t get them and always always always trying to pursue romantic relationships with people that they acknowledge aren’t healthy but do it anyway. and thats just too much for me lol. people in real life just don’t have that much bandwidth to screw up. and im sure my being ace and aro has a lot to do with me just not getting the fucked up relationships either. to me it’s like “just literally don’t fuck them lol. you are literally complaining about the red flags. stop lmao.” problem solved

there’s probably a lot of people out there who are getting something from this kind of novel, but i think that if this book which had so much shared background with my own life couldnt do it, nothing is going to.

[rigelmejo]

literally reading hanshe feels like reading one of those graded readers now. past self u would be so happy. like actually. that’s not an exageration. nearly all ‘unknown’ words now are words I know but still look up because I forgot the tones (mo, wo, zuan 攥 means squeeze by the way the writer likes to write ‘squeezed his phone’ like i’d write ‘clutched’ and i always look it up to remember how its pronounced). or its the words ‘suspicious’ or ‘uncertain’ - whenever i see THOSE two words specifically i am not quite sure which word means which until i click the definition. the entire experience right now is a LOT like when i read Mandarin Companion Sherlock and a few chapters in new most of the words vaguely but needed confirmation/clarification.

Also present self me is a freaking coward lol ToT. now that its easier my brain is like ‘oh man Guardian oh man Silent Reading oh man Qi Ye idk if we’re ready for that’

when like. 8 months into learning i picked up those books and tried to read with no dictionary and followed the plot. yes it was exhausting and idk how the hell i managed it. but it was something that Could be done. So of COURSE now that I know more words and literally know a chapter takes 15-30 minutes to read (compared to 1-1.5 hours when I started reading Tian Ya Ke at first), i’m too lazy.

back then, i know what i was thinking. i was thinking ‘if i read a priest novel in a dictionary Reader app i’ll have to click a ton of words and i’m lazy’ so ‘its easier to just read a page with NO dictionary and guess some stuff from context and slide past the rest.’ Which... no it was not easier. Yes it took less physical movement on the part of my hands lol and opening/closing a definition pop up. But reading without a dictionary reference was extremely mentally draining. Hence i eventually made myself go read with the dictionary Reader anyway lol.

now my brain is like ‘well look how easy reading is on the Reader - i know nearly all words and just click at a glance for anything that might take effort to guess and bam its figured out.’ versus ‘oh god if i pick up a print book i will just have to feel mentally drained as i try to puzzle this out.’ even though... i read print Guardian like... 3 weeks ago without a dictionary just fine. i’m just lazy. it wasn’t even that draining if i read the english translation chapter first. that gave me enough context to just relax and read. the Only effort i had to put in was seeing new hanzi and trying to remember them based on radicals/guess their vague pronunciation (since with my digital Reader app i just click at a glance for that). and i know... if i tried to do ‘guardian on reader app versus print guardian’ i would pick print guardian in a heartbeat. 1 because its STILL easier in my brain then having to click many words lol (truly just pausing my reading annoys me lol even if only for a moment), and 2 my print copy has scenes ONLY in the print edition of the novel and i want to know what they are. I read 3 print chapters so far and EACH of them had a few paragraphs to a few PAGES of scenes not in the webnovel version. 

anyway i’m just. going to keep reading hanshe for now. 1. because its getting very easy, and extensive reading (when you actually KNOW most words - not the ‘extensive’ reading i do where i just brute force it even tho i only comprehend like 80%) is supposed to be one of the easiest ways to improve vocab and reading skill. 2. because this baby is 155 chapters and im on chapter 41 and i want to FINISH it. desperately. 3. 155 chapters is a LOT of reading practice. the fact its now something i can read easier just means it will be less draining/more enjoyable practice. and the more practice the easier future reading things will be. better hanshe then to switch to a new story i know less of the author’s vocab for, and whats worse not getting to finish hanshe cause i’ve distracted myself ;-;. because i just love to jump stories but then i finish none that i want to finish since i read chinese so slow T-T. let me finish this oneeee. 

4. hanshe is ridiculously compelling? this writer GETS me. they know just what to write to keep me hooked. its like the perfectly paced mystery/supernatural situation with romance and found family and i ;-;. this writer is great <3. also i love original plots when done well and the many case arcs with their own morals and intensely memorable characters make me feel like im reading a really good mystery writer. 5. you have no idea how much i wanna go back and finish tamen de gushi - that was only 40 chapters i’d have had it done lol. BUT its not written this fast paced/want to know whats next like hanshe the mysteries fic, and i probably would start slow again due to author change of style and word choice. and hanshe has a happy ending whereas tamen de gushi may anihilate me. also i would. literally just restart hanshe Again if i left it ToT i dont wanna do 40 chapters again.

when will i suck it up and just read guardian? when will i accept i can’t be a perfectionist cause i’ll never understand it perfectly, so i should just read? when will i have the courage i apparently fucking possessed in month 8 knowing barely anything but am now too lazy for lol.

on a serious note though. i’m really happy with my reading progress right now. hanshe is really enjoyable to read, and i can’t believe i read 40 chapters in a month.

甭 fun hanzi i learned recently from hanshe. this one is ‘beng’ and is bu-yong contracted. its literally ‘bu’ hanzi on top of ‘yong’. saves space. saves how many words u gotta say. like ‘don’t’.  ‘bu yong - beng’ 甭 i love that visually its also a contraction since its just the usual hanzi only as a single one instead of 2. 

[clambuoyance]

Deltarune Ch 3 Theory (Spoilers!)

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This will be sort of a ramble, and I’ll do my best to include screenshots, but this is my personal theory and thoughts on what’s happening and where Ch 3 is headed. Most of this stuff has probably been said by others, so this is mostly for me to come back to!

1. Kris

So there are a lot of moments that seems to hint to Kris’ homelife and I’ll just sort of go through them here. 

When you look through the room Queen trapped you in, there’s a calendar with a vacation date circled from a search query about when college has summer break. Given how close Asriel and Kris seem to be, I’m pretty sure Kris is really anxious to see Asriel and have his support back. 

Because Toriel and Asgore seem to have divorced fairly recently? Or at the very least, I think it’s still definitely taking a toll on Kris, and Asriel leaving does NOT help at all. It makes me wonder if there’s more to him leaving for college. 

There’s another curious thing where if you  decide to look through Asriel’s room, Kris shuts their eyes and seems to not want to see what’s inside, despite what the Player might want. Why? Afraid of what they’ll see? What could Asriel possibly be searching for that Kris would be afraid of the truth?

I think some incident happened in the past, one that’s related to the Dreemurr and the Holiday family growing apart, Noelle’s sister “Dess”, and Asgore apparently being removed from the police force. (If maybe he was powerless or cowardly to do something, this could have led to a divorce and Asriel leaving? I’m not sure, but I think Dess has died or its related tot he incident, and Asriel seemed close with them too so I’m sure it was also hard on him.)

(i didnt take a screenshot of the newsclipping with this info but ill put it here later lol)

Circling back to Kris, there’s several details that hint to Kris’ mindset, and basically, I think Kris doesn’t want to grow up because when you grow up you grow apart and don’t live out fun fantasies anymore. Maybe.

If you go to the flyer in the librarby,  and read the one about the ICE-E event that says “Where teens can still be Kids!” Kris is relieved, for some reason. Probably because they’re glad to hear they still technically count as a kid. 

Not directly related but if you go up to the upperright room and read the book about humans, Kris quickly shuts it. Given the similarities and hints to Chara from Undertale, it seems like Kris wanted to get away from other humans or humanity in general. Which also aligns maybe with Kris being fearful of the bunker. I really don’t know what to make it past this though. Crack theory was that the world of Undertale was just a Dark World Kris made as a kid or something. Or that when “Chara” fell, it was a fall similar to how Kris and Susie fall when entering a Dark World. Lmao probably unrelated though.

2. Dark Worlds and Escapism

The Dark Worlds seem to function as some sort of escapism, and it’s interesting that they’re all based on real life things. In Chapter 1, the Dark World was based on the classrooms various toys like checkers, chess, cards, dolls,etc. In Chapter 2, it seems even more so with Noelle. Queen actually wants the best for Noelle and is very nosy and always chasing after her, in contrast to Noelle’s real mom who is always busy being a mayor. After all, Queen does know how sad Noelle’s search history probably is. (Mainly from this post!)

(screenshots to be added lol)

Kris probably feels the same way, as both Noelle and Kris grew up together and seem to be suffering from dysfunctional families or some sort of drama.

And Queen directly says in the boss fight with Berdly that the internet and the screens provide comfort for many people, and she is well-intentioned in wanting to help make people happy. Maybe for Kris it’s video games or roleplaying or toys or silly things, kind of like how many people in the real world do similar things. I wonder if the next chapters will each focus on a different character and other forms of escapism or storytelling. 

3. The Knight

So at the end of Chapter 2, Kris rips out the Player Soul and slashes the tires to Toriel’s car. Then later Susie talks about how cool it would be if they could bring Ralsei and Lancer and everyone to their world and hang out with them. Then Kris takes the Player out once again and pulls out a knife, fills the “Blade” with their “Will”, aka Determination, and creates a new dark fountain that encompasses their whole home (and maybe even the whole town). 

(screenshot laterrrr)

It seems that the tires were to ensure Toriel stays inside the house though, so maybe it’s just the house. If that’s the case, and Kris really is the knight, I think Kris wants to envision a better home where things are better. Escapism right inside your own home.

If it’s the whole town, then maybe Kris already had Susie’s idea and really is going to take everyone in a new Dark World so everyone can be together. That or Susie inadvertently gave Kris the idea..it makes me wonder if we’ll see Toriel in her outfit from Undertale, or something like that. The other reason I could see it being a town-wide thing is because now Kris has the knowledge of the Roaring (thanks to Ralsei).  I’m not too sure what their stance would be, but maybe they see a benefit to it?

After creating a fountain, a smile flashes on the tv, so I think the next chapter will be television based and feature a tv villain (though it does look like flowey...). Again, i wonder if each chapter will be some form of escape for some people. or maybe it’ll be a different theme.

Also, I just want to add that I really don’t see Kris as malicious or doing thing for a sinister reason. Or maybe it’s still fucked up and selfish, but not the evil people imagine. If you do the snowgrave route, Noelle doesn’t even recognize it as Kris’ voice. The sinister voice in that route seems to be the Player rather, being cruel and making Noelle make these traumatizing choices. Which is why I wonder if Kris is the Knight, or if it’s a red herring. Not sure. 

4. ANYWAYS

There’s a lot to unpack. Too much to unpack, like there’s a whole thing I could say about Big Shot and Jevil and Gaster. The way maybe Kris also knows the world is just a game (maybe thats why they hate humans?? were just like go puppet go lol). But i have no idea so this was just focused on Kris mostly, and Maybe i’ll talk more but I finished the game a few hours ago and I just had to get these thoughts out even if others probably already figured it out or think its obvious. It’s just really cool! Again, most of this comes from this theory, cus i havent looked much at others (YET) since i just finished today. Anyways, FUN GAME! 

If anyone has useful screenshots or whatever please feel free to add lol

[hella1975]

I'm writing this ask as I read the new update so here, we go.

Initial reaction to the first two paragraphs: Absolutely immaculate. Perfection. Incredible. All the praise. I read the first paragraph and immediately had to take a moment to fully process what it was I'm about to read because I forgot how YOU write. Like 'Oh yeah this is HELLA.' (I've probably read hundreds of books in my life and you're the best author I've ever read). It's like I've been fueling my hunger with the fanfiction equivalent of empty calories since your last update, and I feel like a starved child sitting down at a feast and immediately I had to take a moment to take it all in.

I'm where Bato is in the tent with the book and Hella, let me tell you. I've already been struggling with my sexuality recently and if this makes me even more confused, I swear I'm gonna-

"He could point to these sentences and say look, here, that's where I fit." - That's going to be the part I maim you over. I'm barely into this update and already you're doing this crap. Mind you I'm ace, so I decided I'm projecting onto Kanut.

"Maybe there are types of love you can't access." AAAHH. The way you talked about this is so perfect, I can't with you.

I love Sokka and Zuko and the way you write them. It's so incredible.

Bato you menace

It's good to know that Bato ships Tomnook.

I don't usually like Bato. Not in the show, not in the other fics, but I absolutely love him in taob.

Tomnook you menaces

"If a flower was enough to rob a man of his strength, then perhaps he wasn't so strong to begin with." Love that, 10/10, using that on my sexist relatives one day.

WERE GETTING SOME KANUT AND ZUKO SCENES THIS IS NOT A DRILL- I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL (I love those two so much)

It was shortlived, nvm

ITS HAPPENING AGAIN AND APPAS THERE TOO

AAHAHAHAHH THATS TOO PERFECT HELLLA I HATE YOU SM WHY DO YOU DO THIS WHAT THE FFFFFF

"Needed to vent, you're a fantastic listener." Kanut you king

Hella that was absolutely beautiful. You deserve all the kudos all the fame jk rowlings career all of it. Sexuality is such a touchy subject and you handled it completely perfectly. I can't put into words how perfect that last scene was, I love that old healer.

You are genuinely the best writer I have ever seen and you are incredible at writing everything everyone else does a crap job at and I admire you so much and I aspire to write something this incredible.

I dont like commenting on ao3 so I just decided to leave this in your ask box thing :)

❤❤❤

Also, this is the same anon who has a list of their favorite things about you (lists are kind of my thing) and I have something I would like to add onto the list. I'm just going to tag this onto this specific ask because why not. It's also completely unrelated to the rest of this ask.

That is the way you tag things. You're the funniest person I follow and you show that in the way you tag things on here. I think I mentioned you're general chaoticness before, but thats unrelated to how hilarious you are. I can't even put it into words, like why the things you say in tags always make me laugh but they do and yeah.

list anon im literally slow dancing with u we're two slow dancers last ones out im twirling u in my arms i cant do this rn. parts of this ask that knocked me out:

'I've probably read hundreds of books in my life and you're the best author I've ever read' YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THIS TO ME AND EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT

'I love Sokka and Zuko and the way you write them. It's so incredible' okay ive said briefly in the past that im SUPER anxious about every aspect of taob zukka like im hyperaware of it every scene i write of them just bc i feel people have waited so long for it that it's now my job to execute it Perfectly or people will be let down, so every time i get even the smallest compliment about taob zukka i get soooo giddy

'Sexuality is such a touchy subject and you handled it completely perfectly' i cannot stress enough how nervous i was for this chapter like i wanted to do it justice so fucking badly so this is just very <333 yeah

'You are genuinely the best writer I have ever seen and you are incredible at writing everything everyone else does a crap job at and I admire you so much and I aspire to write something this incredible' BARK BARK GROWL HISS BARK GRRRRRRRR

'You're the funniest person I follow' TO THINK THAT WE COULD STAY THE SAME BUT WE'RE TWO SLOW DANCERS LAST ONES OUT-

[undedkat]

Rating Marriage Candidates in Stardew Valley but I‘m at low/medium hearts with all of them

this will be chaotic and have tons of hot takes because i am a chaotic bi. unrelated but this game could use some nonbinary characters.

Alex: 6/10 - i dont talk to him much and he seems kinda boring but he gave me a pumpkin pie and i probably would have thought he was cute in high school.

Abigail: 20/10 - she eats rocks. i would die for this alt bi gamer girl with cool hair. everyone i know loves her.

Elliott: 8/10 - huge chaotic/flamboyant bi energy but i can never find him. But he’s nice and looks cute so its ok.

Emily: 7/10 - she’s cute but she’s a mystic without being an astrology bitch or seeing the cute apple jumino spirits so is it even worth it?

Harvey: 3/10 - too old for me and kinda bland. Sprite art ranges from ok to i’ll steal his lunch money. He gets points for being smart and having a mustache.

Haley: 8/10 - people say shes mean but shes so cute and has such high femme sapphic energy. I want to give her flowers and cheek kisses.

Leah: 10/10 - huge sapphic energy I love her and I know nothing about her.

Maru: 9/10 - i love a sapphic black woman in STEM. looses points because she wants expensive gifts but gains them back because i spend every day in the mines.

Sam: 5/10 - i genuinely can’t think of anything about him idk sorry. He’s just another white guy.

Sebastion: 7/10 - i like that he’s a programmer and emo but also he’s just another emo white guy. He also doesn’t like Demetrius for some reason and I have the most hearts with Demetrius. Demetrius has books in his bookshelf on how to be a good stepfather. He’s a black man who loves his wife and kids and that defies so many stupid and toxic stereotypes. I don’t know this game just has so many white people.

Shane: 5/10 - i know everyone loves him because he has a cool character arc apparently but the amount of shit I have to put up with to get there. he’s such an ass. also why does the game encourage you to give alcohol to an alcoholic? thats so fucked up.

Penny: 4/10 - you know what i said about this game having too many white people?

coop players: 1000/10 - you can marry your s/o and friends! you can dance with them! you can share your money and go mining together or do farm things together! I love it!!

[silkylious]

Pro heroes Katsuki , Deku, Kiri trending on Twitter after posting a video of them and their s/o doing the baby mama dance how they react and

A/N: Thank you for the request! since you didn’t specify if you wanted a scenario or headcanons, i’ll do headcanons since they're easier for me to write, hope thats okay!

also i have a todoroki oneshot in the works, so stay tuned for that!

Kirishima Eijirou

Kirishima was probably the one to bring up the dance in the first place. A toothy grin stretched his face as he leaped over the back of the couch, where you’d been enjoying a quaint read, a dainty hand caressing your engorged stomach. His hand snatching the book right out from your grasp, he didn’t give you a chance to respond before he practically shoved his phone in your face. An eyebrow raised skeptically at his antics, shifting your gaze to the screen in front of you. 

“Eiji, what’s this...?” He explained the challenge, his sharky smile only widening the further he explained. You were a little hesitant at first, and as you were about to voice your apprehension, your eyes caught sight of his smile, childlike and boyish. Fuck. How could you say no to that?

You spent a good half an hour trying to get the dance moves right, Eijirou cheering you on while fucking up his own moves. 

Kirishima can’t dance to save his life. You can’t convince me otherwise. But did that stop him? Nope.

He adjusted the camera on make-shift tripod, consisting of boxes and other random objects. he started the timer and you two began busting out moves, Eijirou still lacking all the skill needed for this exercise, his moves choppy and uncoordinated, though his enthusiasm made up for his amateurism. The precious grin adorning his face made you glad you took him up on his offer.

By the end of the routine, both of you were left panting for oxygen. He heaved a breathless chuckle before pulling you into his grip from behind, his large hands gingerly stroking your tummy, his lips pressed lovingly to your cheek. With his signature million watt smile ever present on his face, he sighed out words of tranquil, “Thanks for doing this, babe,” he pressed another exaggerated kiss to your face.

The video was posted on his official Twitter, right before you went to bed.

The next morning, no words could articulate the sheer affection you felt bubbling up in your chest when you opened your eyes to the sight of Eijirou’s pure jubilation. Just the look of unbridled happiness on his face made you fall head over heels for him all over again. While you were busy ogling him, his own heart accelerated with uninhibited pride and love as his eyes scanned the screen in his hands.

Kirishima loved to show you off, how could he not? you were amazing in every sense of the word, and you were all his, to love and to cherish. So you can only imagine the utter joy he felt when he saw #TinyRiot trending on twitter.

He skimmed through the countless replies and comments of people congratulating the couple and clowning on his less than impressive choreography, some were from his coworkers, some were from his fans, he replied to them as best as he could with delight radiating off of him. He continued going through his mentions until he eventually felt the heated stare on his face. Turning to his side, he finally met your eyes, your rounded figure peacefully nestled beside him on the bed, your stare so full with love and mirth it made his chest tighten, almost suffocating him.

Kirishima has always been good with words, and people in general but in that moment no matter how hard he tried to speak nothing would come out of his mouth, captivated by your adoring gaze. You looked at him like he was your entire universe. And he couldn’t handle that, the feeling building in his gut becoming too much for him.

 He had to let it out, less he spontaneously combust. Since he knew his voice would fail him if he tried to speak, he settled for pulling you in for a passionate kiss, hoping it would convey all the words he couldn’t say.

Midoriya Izuku

When you first approached him with the idea he had been a bit apprehensive. Don’t get him wrong, heaven knows he’d do anything to keep you content. But being in the position he was in, Izuku was painfully, sadly aware of the target put on not only his back, but his family as well. 

He didn’t want to expose you and his child to the danger that came with his blinding spotlight.

Izuku wears his heart on his sleeve. No matter how hard he tried to mask it, the boy was an open book, so you could immediately sense the reluctance on his face when you mentioned posting the video online.

You knew of the complications that came with dating a Pro-hero, the number one Pro-hero, so you were perfectly understanding of his hesitance and didn’t push it further. Though you couldn’t help the disappointment that flooded your features either.

The look of mild discontent on your face didn’t sit well with him, his conscious already conquered by guilt. As his green irises descended onto your pregnant belly, something in him snapped.

He wanted to provide his unborn son with a normal childhood, well as normal as someone like him could. And he wouldn’t be able to do that if he kept barring his family from enjoying the simple delicacies of life in fear of getting them hurt. He was a hero, for god’s sake! The arrival of a new addition in his tight-knit family only meant that he’d have to work harder to forge the perfect world for them, for his son.

His habit of mumbling his thoughts had you fully aware of the dilemma going on in his head, and you knew if you didn’t stop him now nothing else would. His forehead was flicked by dainty, soft fingers, snapping him out of his trance, “It’s fine, ‘Zuku, don’t worry about it.” too late, he’d already made up his mind.

Now with his previous dread thrown out the window, he grabbed your hands and hopped off the couch where he’d been previously watching some All Might docuseries, a determined look in his wide verdant eyes.

You spent a good hour practicing the moves, Deku was holding up just fine, the dance classes he’d taken with Mina during the Cultural Festival doing a good number on him. With enough effort and unrelenting obstinacy, he’d mastered the routine in record time. Now with the camera set up, it was time to preform.The whole dance, a gentle twinkle lit up his face, he truly couldn’t be more content watching you dance your heart out without a care. 

The clip was posted, and you two were off to prepare dinner, ignorant to the fucking storm of notifications blowing his phone up. 

Now hear me out; Deku absolutely fanboys over All Might in interviews or in public. His fans had already noticed the striking similarities between their quirks and they were well aware of his love of the retired Pro, so he was dubbed “All Might Jr.” His heart almost went into cardiac arrest when he saw #SmallMight trending on Twitter. Poor boy had just finished washing the dishes, he went to check his phone only for all colour to leave his face before he was red as a damn tomato.

You peered over his shoulder to see what had gotten him so flustered only to bring your fist to your mouth in a fruitless attempt at silencing your fit of giggles.

Now as blissful as it was to have a combination of his fans and colleagues (who had already known about the pregnancy) congratulating him, he knew it wouldn’t take long for the media to scrutinise his decision, bringing unwanted discourse into his personal life. But he was more than ready for that, after all, he had vowed to himself that he would protect you and his child, whether from villains or from mainstream media, he would let you both live your lives without any inhibitions.

Bakugo Katsuki  

Katsuki flat out refused when you initially asked him. Which was to be expected. Katsuki is private person when it comes to personal matters, you literally had to beg him to tell your friends about the pregnancy (honestly you were about ready to pull up a PowerPoint presentation on why Friends Matter and They Deserve to Know Important News™) 

The rejection didn’t stop you from nagging him about it though. 

He was in a similar situation to Deku, being the number two Pro-hero and the symbol of victory shined a light on him, for better or worse, he didn’t want to expose you and his daughter to the dark facets of his career. That and he did think it was stupid. He didn’t understand the appeal of sharing something so special with the general public, it was your private lives dammit! 

“Why do you wanna do it so bad?” it was a valid question, though phrased with overbearing aggression, he was getting fed up with your persistence. He immediately dialed down his abrasiveness when you flinched, your gaze descending to the floor, your hormones making you more susceptible to his harsh mannerisms.

“I just thought it would be cute to do...” Your voice trailed off, and his mind berated him as he watched your bottom lip quiver. He just couldn’t resist you, could he?

Eventually, he gave in, but he made it a point to spend as little time as humanly possible on the dance. Which was honestly very easy for him, the guy is a natural at almost everything, fucking figures he can dance. It made you a bit jealous how good he effortlessly was.

Bakugo did nothing half-assed, this was no exception. As the routine progressed, he loosened up more, almost enjoying the exercise, wouldn’t admit it though, he’s very adamant about making this seem like a chore even though he relished in that bright smile of yours. Tsundere headass.

The recording went by without a hitch, Katsuki putting his all into the choreography and slipping you a few gentle caresses here and there. Overall, the cheeky grin on your face made it worth the trouble.

He spurned posting the video on his account, so it ended up being posted on yours, you had a decent following and in minutes the #MiniSplosion was trending. 

Even he couldn’t deny the wave of pride that puffed up his chest, reading the influx of comments bleeding in. He loved showing you off, but his position made it damn near impossible to do that. He wanted to protect you, he figured after this he’d just have to work harder to keep his family safe.

You totally teased him about being a softie on the inside, but you didn’t push it too much, not wanting to tarnish the mood. He’d reply back with some empty remark but the soft tug at his lips, the tenderness in his stare and absence of his usual frown betrayed him, god he was such a sap for you. Pulling you in for an abnormally sweet peck, vastly different from his usual ferocious, passion filled kisses, he flicked your forehead and muttered, “You happy now?”

The surmounting adoration in his heart partially scared him, he couldn’t believe he fell that hard for someone. Yet he wouldn’t have it any other way, he couldn’t even imagine the idea of being without you, without his daughter. He was lucky to land himself such a strong, patient and kind partner, one that would stick it out with him through the end, and now he was undoubtedly going to flaunt it.

@Ground_Zero: My babygirls <3

...

Let’s just say it didn’t take long for #SoftGroundZero to go viral too.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 21 - Gone with the Wind's relation to BLM.

K: Ok, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting this episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san. Welcome. Well, um..you know, Dir en grey...we've cancelled our Pia Arena concerts.

J: Ahh, thats right.

K: Its a bit...

T: Its a shame.

K: Well..it is a shame..it was kind of a build up of different things. We did search for ways which we could make it happen. We went to the venue in person, and tried to come up with ideas about how it could work, incuding our staff in the discussion, but...in the end it was quite difficult.

J: Ahh, really?

K: I had thought if we started to be a bit active things might begin to change. I really wanted to get moving, but...well..there would be people who wouldn't be able to go...

J: Well, yes.

K: So when we thought about whether we should do it...hmm..yeh.

J: Well, we want to let everyone know that you went as far as going to the venue to try to figure out what to do, and it does not mean that the band will disappear..

K: Yes

J: And in this sense, its a matter of waiting for the right time.

K: Yeah.

J: Right?

K: When will that be though, right?

J: Ah, well, the number of infections in Tokyo is in a state of increase at the moment, in particular, the night time entertainment sector is being blamed, so it seems as if live houses, or so called places of entertainment may be facing tough times for a little while yet.

K: Well, the numbers...if you decreased the number of customers..there are some places starting to operate again in that way, right?

J: There are, yes.

K: But packed standing areas are probably still a bit far off.

J: Yeah. When I think of a Dir en grey live show...I think of Shinkiba etc, I mean, thats what comes up in my mind. One way to see that type of place is like the three C's woven together (Cramped and poorly ventilated, crowded with people, close contact setting).

K: Yeh.

J: So it is really painful not being able to do that. But while it may take a while until we can, in the meantime we can find different ways or hybrid ways of doing it.

K: Yeah, we have to keep looking in a foward direction. Well...but on the days that we ought to have been performing, the 24th and 25th of  this month, we are planning to stream the intended setlist live on Youtube, so if people can, I'd love them to watch that.

Kami: Um....um...

J: Ah, Kami is here.

Kami: Have you considered playing live wearing face guards or something?

K, J: Face guards?

K: No, we didn't consider that, hahaha

J, T, K: Hahaha

J: This wouldn't fit with Dir en grey.

K: No, we actually talked about it, jokingly. Like how about it?

*laughing*

J: No, if you actually did, it would be like you were making fun of it or something like that. Hahaha.

Kami: Have you thought about ventilating the venue during the show or something?

K: Hmm, yeh, we'd have to make an interval in the middle and doing something like that.

T: I see

J: Well, its difficult isn't it? You'd have to deal with a lot of things. But just like you want to do it, people want to see it too, we are all the same.

Kami: Watching a Dir en grey show with interval breaks would be quite hard, right?

K: Hm, yeah it would probably break the tension.

T: Yeah.

K: Kinda.

Kami: What do you think about doing that?

K: Doing that...well..

Kami: Raising the tension, they saying  Ok, ventilation time!

K: We'd have to make it kinda like smoothly seperated waves.

J: Like leading into something when there is a break?

K: Leading into something. For example, like something sanwiched between the different sections, like showing a piece of film or something.

J: Ahh, its difficult! The people making the rules, have probably never been to live cocerts, because they don't imagine this type of thing at all. We'll have to think about all these small details at the time of performing from now on.

K: Ok, well, today...Joe san, can you please go ahead.

J: Ok, I'd like to go ahead with today's news. This is the news of how Gone with the Wind relates to the Black Lives Matter movement.

With the ongoing anti-racism Black Lives Matter movement, the expanding movement fighting for the lives of black people to be valued, the American streaming service HBO Max who halted the broadcasting of the Hollywood movie Gone with the Wind, have decided to start streaming the movie again, this time with a disclaimer attached....I'm sure you all know it...a movie which is set during the era of the American civil war, in which the system of slavery existed. This was announced by the American entertainment site TMZ. The same service had stopped streaming the movie earlier this month, after Oscar winning screen writer, John Ridley had pointed out that it includes affirmative portrayals of the system of slavery. Ridley won an Oscar for his work on the movie 12 Years A Slave, which depicts the experiences of slaves who were brought to America during the 19th century. According to TMZ, Jaqueline Stewart, a professor know for her research into the history of black people in cinema, has prepared a video containg some historical background to accompany the movie, in which she asks why we need to appreciate this 1939 movie in its original form, and says how it is  important to discuss our interpretations of it. Furthermore, a video of a panel discussion about this movie which took place in April last year will also be shown at the same time. Gone with the Wind is a movie based on the story by Margret Mitchell, featuring top star of the time, Clark Gable, and English actress, Vivian Leigh.

Soo, Gone with the Wind...the news that streaming was stopped once, but has been restarted with a disclaimer attached. What do you think about this, Kaoru?

K: This type of stuff has been said for a long time, right?

J: Yes.

K: And there are a lot of movies like this aren't there?

J: There are. When looking back now, some parts seem problematic. Well, even so, its a difficult issue, but I don't really think there was any need to halt streaming it in the first place. When watching a movie with such a background as this, people will have various feelings about it, so I don't really...but of course including these extras..the American Black Lives Matter movement has grown huge in a way no one imagined, so in order to prevent adding fuel to the fire, these extra videos are being screened too. But, in the first place, I think its important for people to watch works like this, and think about it for themselves. If you are always telling people how it should be, the nuance or message contained in these movies might be lost. Its quite difficult.

T: Well, if it is lost, we'll end up forgetting how that generation used to see the world.

J: Yeah

K: But we won't lose it, right? Just from this..???1* So, well..it was a problem which couldn't be stopped at that time, it was a growing problem. You can sense that meaning, but its like, how you put it across.

J: Yeh, thats right. Well, this isn't about this movie, but for example, as for books, the publication of Hitler's Mein Kampf was halted for 70 years after the war in Germany. There was the idea that it would be bad to let people read Hilter's autobiography, after what he did. But a few years ago it started to be permitted to be published again, based on the idea that banning it also isn't a good idea. And people do actually want to read it, it is selling. So what do you do? Its a very difficult issue. If the works are by people who have done very bad things, like, a if they are written by a very bad person, should we ban it....Like some of Dir en grey's videos are also quite...when you majored, weren't some of them withdrawn or denied release?

K: With that ????2*

J: Ahh, I see. Some bits were ok, and some weren't? Well, with corona changing the world now, this problem will...

K: Well, this type of thing has an influence on a lot of stuff.

J: It does, yes.

K: Like Japanese anime.

T: Also, people are questioning this idea of 'whitening' beauty products.

J, K: Ahh, yeah.

T: That type of thing has come out recently. But even if you say 'whitening' in the context of beauty, what does it mean? Does it mean, white people are beautiful, or does it mean your skin is ???*3 That has become a talking point.

K: Now that you mention it, you are not allowed to tell someone they're short are you?

J: Right.

K: The same for if they are tall, right.

J: Yeah, if you worry too much, you'll end up trying to censor words. Especially with younger people, like sometimes  you have to express things in abbreviated forms, and if they jump on this and say, 'you can't say that!', then the amount of expressions we have will shrink. Well, it is difficult.

K: Well, I mean there are lots of ???*4 with that type of person.

J: Well, its difficult  to know where to draw the line with this type of thing. But with regards to Black Lives Matter, it doesn't appear to have a lot to do with this country, but Black Lives Matter has been closed in on the event where a policeman kneeled on the neck of a black man and killed him. However, if you look at the broader scene, one of the policemen standing by and watching is thought to be a man of Asian descent. And the store that reported the black man who died was run by middle eastern descended people, so its certainly not an issue unrelated to Asia. Its often said that its an issue of only whites against blacks, but actually there are clearly people of Asian descent involved in this situation. On a global scale, there are a lot of issues which you cant simply separate into white against black. So i think we should get our imaginations working a bit more, and think about all the parties involved. It might be a bit hard to imagine living in this country, but we need to realise these are not just other peoples' affairs.

T: Its really imoprtant to try to imagine yourself in someone else's situation, isn't it?

J: I think it is really important. ...Kami?

Kami: Yes yes yes. Were you talking about Gone with the Wind?

J: Ah, you want to return to the topic of Gone with the Wind?

Kami: No, I just thought this was about Gone with the Wind. I have no interest in the movie Gone with the Wind, just the title puts me off. I wasn't really listening this time.

K: He hates this type of movie, right?

J: Yes, he hates it, haha. You don't like this type of thing much?

K: What type of movies do you like?

Kami: Anything, even banned movies.

T: Kami sometimes...

J: He's like Chabudai gaeshi!

T: He appears at times like this.

K: Well, Kami probably likes action movies or that type of thing.

J: Oh you like that type of thing? You don't care  if streaming of Gone with the Wind is stopped?

Kami: Yeh, if a big fuss is made when its stopped, then people will wonder what its all about and try to watch it won't they?

T: Ahh, I see.

J: Ah, on the other hand, yeh.

Kami: I won't watch it though.

K: He's really pressing that point. He won't let us forget.

J: Ahh, so thats that. It doesn't meet Kami's expectations.

K: Okay, well, lets end here. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

J, T: Thank you.

*1, 2, 3, 4 Couldn't figure out these bits.

[vegalocity]

What would happen if Syntax actually did get cured of the venom? Would he still want to hang around Huntsman and Goliath or would he Think 'huh. Maybe having the people who KIDNAPPED ME around me and my family Probably isn't the best idea.' - Pixel Anon

Uhhhhhhhhhhh yeah I think the answer is Not Good Things Will Happen. I think the answer is ‘Y’all are down an integral clan member hope you didn’t have any plans that hinged on technology or science in general right now.’

Honestly I think you don’t even need to throw Minyi and Xiuying into that equation to make that the answer. Even if you assume Syntax was essentially just alone in the world before spiderfication if he got the spider limbs pulled off and the venom drained from his system, no matter WHAT his Backstory is i think he’d just book it, he’d be OUTTA THERE he is GONE. He’s running before the purple has fully faded from his skin.

And when you THROW IN the ladies, then… well even more so. He’s got Minyi in one arm, a duffel bag in the other and loading into the gd car headed for Xiuying’s cabin to lay low for awhile.

(this gets long so it's under the cut)

Like, most people like to assume that there was a sort of… adjustment period when he had just been spiderfied, usually the flavor of ‘someone (usually Huntsman) reminding him of how he is at his base a human, not a spider, not one of them, and the second he stops being useful is the second he’s only good for how he’ll taste’ and even if he wasn’t afraid of whoever it was in the moment, confident in his ability to manuver extra limbs that aren’t there anymore and speed that wasn’t there either, all the physical additions that being a Spider Demon had are suddenly gone and that threat about being the next meal for the clan suddenly feels a lot more real. Even IF the others had actually grown attached to him and Minyi and even Xiuying, the fact of the matter is if these people decided to kill them all he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Something I could see having kind of a ‘disney channel cartoon’ resolution in this setup is a thing idk if i’ve mentioned before involving Minyi or not. Bc Minyi, as i know i have mentioned, fucking HATES Spider Queen, and at first for awhile there she was very vocal about it, she hated that her dad was working for her, she hated that he wanted her approval, and most of all she hated that whenever she’d say any of that to him, he’d just sort of… not listen.

Even when even Minyi knows what she’s talking about is silly or irrational, she never really feels like Daddy isn’t listening. Even when she’s wrong and he has to explain to her what it was that was wrong, she still felt like he was listening to her as she talked. But not this. Never this. Minyi’s an observant child, her plotline hinges on it, so she knows when Adults tune her out, she knows when she’s being condescended to. And when Daddy tells her that of course he wants to stay Loyal to Spider Queen and she’s Really Cool Actually she can tell he wasn’t listening to a word she’d actually said. Because he never mentions forgiving her for stealing him, or that he knows it might look like she pushes him around but he knows he’s always in control of the situation, or anything that would actually ANSWER her questions or settle her worries. She just… might as well have stomped her foot and yelled like she was half her age.

And now that his head is clear he can look back on that and be… embarrassed? guilty? His daughter was warning him that whole time out of honest fear and concern that she only barely had the vocabulary and emotional complexity to understand And he brushed her off as if it was nothing. And to rub some salt into it now that his head is clear and the unrelenting force of the Spider demanding subserviance to the Queen is gone it’s obvious that his fucking six year old was right about his ‘boss’ being bad news. So of course he figures he owes Minyi an apology, but Minyi’s just happy that he’s listening to her again so it’s all okay in the end.

And if this is the Cyberhunt timeline then can I get an F in the chat for Huntsman? Bc he ain’t even getting a breakup scene, i don’t think he’d even get a letter outside of the ‘I’m leaving the clan and leaving the city with my family. Don’t try to find us’ that goes out to all of the clan (maybe even still implying that Syntax DOES still have that Spider amplification in him so it’s not just a flimsy ‘stay away’ from an equally flimsy human)

I could see Syntax as being pretty mad at himself for letting the relationship happen at all in that context. Like yeah, his brain was all scrambled up and he can’t ACTUALLY be held accountable for decisions made with the fact that he wasn’t really in his right mind for the whole thing, but it still happened. But now it’s over, and- and it was just some echo of venom that hadn’t quite metabolized yet that left a bitter taste in his mouth to acknowledge that those people weren’t really friends, that he wasn’t really-... His brain is still re-adjusting, he’ll be fine in time.

Minyi I don't think would quite get certain parts about this, in her mind, the big boss is always the bad guy and the other people around are just as scared of the big boss as the person they’re bullying. So to her only Spider Queen was the bad guy. So when Daddy turned back to normal and said that they weren’t safe from the bad guys anymore and needed to go stay at Auntie Xiuying’s cabin for awhile she’d thought that Uncle Huntsman and Uncle Goliath hadn’t come along simply because Uncle Goliath didn’t fit in the car. That they’d catch up with them soon. Because surely, they’d ALL be running away from the REAL bad guy together.

So, she figures they must have gotten lost and had to head back home. Thats not good, surely that means she needs to help them find their way here like how she helped Daddy find his way home. Auntie and Daddy were both too scared of Spider Queen finding them to contact her uncles, but Minyi knew how to evade that!

She knows Uncle Huntsman likes to hang out at their apartment because he loves Daddy (she’ll keep that to herself for now, grownups don’t believe in happily ever afters) so if she mails a letter to the apartment he might find it when he eventually comes over.

She knows Uncle Huntsman doesn’t like puzzles, but he’s good with them when its something important. So she makes a cipher and writes the letter in it, copies down the decoder, and chops it up into distinct shapes, seals it all up in a letter closes the envelope with a sticker on it, and slips it into the mailbox.

Eventually Huntsman does find the letter, written in childish scrawl, the puzzle to decode the letter, and the knowledge that theres only one child on this entire damn continent that would be this obnoxiously enigmatic about sending a fucking letter.

But whatever, he wasn’t gonna do anything except sit in the apartment surrounded by things left behind and feel sorry for himself--er, that is, scavenge for anything that could be used by the Queen and take advantage of the internal heating. So he may as well do something. So he puts together the decoder, she’d just sliced it into fourths. Then translated the letter.

“Hi Uncle Huntsman! If you’re reading this that means you unlocked my letter! Yay! I knew you could! So I know you and Uncle Goliath want to leave the bad lady’s clan too and I know you’re only not here because you guys got lost.” and she just… gave them the coordinates for the place her family was hiding away. (not REALLY hiding, it wouldn’t have taken much to track down the cabin’s whereabouts through Xiuying, but the secluded nature of the cabin may as well have been)

I guess… the way the story ends depends on how you want it to end. Because Huntsman has three options, but really only two. Does he accept defeat and burn the letter, or does he do something with the information he now has? Either way he’d be betraying the queen, but he doesn’t have it in him to turn in the coordinates of their lost clan member and his family. Not this time.

There’s this youtuber i like called Breadsword, he does movie analysis, and in his video about Millenium Actress he says something along the lines of ‘My favorite moment in a romance is somewhere in the last ten minutes, after we’ve followed our characters through the buildup, payoff, and premature destruction of what they had, as they go their separate ways and come to the conclusion that it wasn’t meant to last, one rejects it and takes flight in pursuit of the other... our dreams and our love are the only things truly worth running in the name of.

[yeoldontknow]

🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel! 

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that. 

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates. 

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow. 

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!

[squeiky]

This is kinda a rant about my day and my birthday, moms, and shit so like, ya'll be warned.

I got to hang out with my friend today :)

Its the best before birthday party ever!!

Which is funny, beacuse i usually always enjoy the day before my birthday, and not the day of my birthday xDDD

There was this huge wind that knocked out almost everything on out picnic table xD I BLAME THE PLANES!! THE GIANT METAL BIRDS IN THE SKY! ):O!

And we biked everywhere!! We where so tired xD so we sat down and talked about stuff (but i cant tell you what we said.)

It was a very fun day.

We even watched some tick tocs.

Now tomorrow.. Is my actually birthday. I am not so hyped for that.

I have had a few nice birthday days, but as far as i can remember I only had 2 soo..

Yeah....

I prefer my before birthday days anyways.

Im so tired from all the biking and walking and my mom brought way to much food and drinks...

Ughh and tomorrow i gotta wake up early?! Seriously??! On a birthday?!

Apparently i have to go to church, to pray to god or what not.

The thing is, im not that much of a religious kid. I don't hide it either.

And im pretty sure this is either another one of her get together with her friends or... My one friend that could come over :>

Most likely her friends, and not mine... Not that i dont mind it, but im tired, and my stamina is completely demolished.

And everytime i go to place that has alot of people, indoors, in a place i am unfamilar in..

I get a panic attack. Especially now, during the pandemic and isolation.

My mom made to go to church before, and we had to do all these things, and i dont like it, i panicked untill it was over and most people where gone...

The only thing i like about the whole thing is its lovely echo, and its music(its really a lovely composition, i admire the hard work and talent that's put into these things. A lot of stuff like this gets over looked by many. I don't care if its a gift from God, that shit is a gift and should be appreciated and not overlooked.) Other than that, i wish i just stayed home...

Like, I really don't want to do all these things.

I injured my freaking leg, and im pretty sure im slowly harming myself more and more freuently-

(I had a flipping panic when i didn't hand in a assignment in on the assigned time, despite my teacher giving a heads up that I could chill on it as long as its handed in- what makes you think i can handle 30 people, im a giant ass house of singing and preaching for a few minutez?)

Im super salty about waking up early tho qwq...

I should be happy that I had this cool birthday, but I REEALLY just want alone time.

And i know a little girl is coming tomorrow to my party, and her parents practically just hand em too me, cause im good with kids..

But like, im drained. Super drained. Im probably gonna be hella sore too.

God i hate my birthday day, so im just gonna rant/vent about it here.

I know im going to get distracted, or excited, and the adrenalin kicks in and i end up not feeling a single pain or ache in my body.

But I swear, adrenalin will not heal my mental/emotional health that is slowly depleting. And i have fun yeah, but like im growing tired in the end.

Its fun, but I don't get anything out of it.

And the more i think about it, the more i dislike a lot of things.

My mom sucks, she sucks alot.

Man, shes quite the abusive person. But you can never tell. The only way you can is by how i turned out, or what my dad would tell you. (My dad is a good man. I love my dad he is the best. Mom just uses him as a way to "send me away" when im "too much for her.")

And im always panicking when she's near the little girl, that i play with. (She wonderful, and very sweet.)

My mom has told her the terrible things she told me when i was little. The things that made me so anxious and shifty.. Depressive and well... Not in a good state of mind. (I'll just sugar coat that one.)

One of the reasons why i hate my birthdays so much.

It started getting worse the more i grew older, and the more i started to learn about her. And i really dont like her, but if she knew that, we'd argue the same way we have been doing for years of my life. And she would kick me out.

So you see why i hate my birthday days.

Every birthday i dont spend with her? Well its the best time of my life. And im not even kidding on this one.

Im still salty on that one birthday, she invited all her friends, and they ordered a cake i couldn't eat. And kept pestering me to eat it. I moved on from it, i dont bring it up anymore. But im still fucking salty.

And i probably would have ate it too. But the flavor was just..not for me. And the texture?! Come on. Im pretty sure i was just picky that day, or it was an accident but i swear-

I dont even know the diffrence between friendly "check ups" and un friendly "check ups".

Y'know, the ones where its like "aww they are sleeping how cute i love them! "

And

" im gonna bust this door open and slap your ass beacuse you where awake for too long."

I remeber when I was little, she pulled my hair, and fucking smashed my goddamn phone cause she was "mad at me for staying up late"

She had fucking sex in the bed RIGHT NEXT TO MINE- and then lied about it. Bro i was tramutized.

It was with the fucking landlord, where the hell was my mom's mind set when i was younger?! That dude was a total creep, and he smelled like shit! Sex is stinky and i don't like it. (I was fucking 12, what do you expect? I had pillows to block my back so i couldn't look back and see that. But i woke up to this shit, like man im still tramatized. WE ARE IN THE SAME BEDROOM MOM, WTF?! IM FUCKING 12!)

I hate the house now. I don't like walking there either. Im glad we moved. (Bad memories. Always bad memories there. I don't know what the fuck my mom was going through, but she sure as hell took it all on me, i was messed up every since then. Man, i wasn't even emo, i was just some 12 yr old kid would looks out windows dramatically crying beacuse it was my only coping mechanism, and it made me feel better watching the sunsets and looking at trees.)

Man, I hate a lot of things don't i? I have this unrelenting anger, and im so glad i dont use it as horribly as my mom does, and instead used it too better myself and use it like an extra power source beacuse anger is a fuel that is uncontrollable but under the right circumstances can be be used wisely and become very nicely controlled. And i learned to control it. :) well, as good as i can of course.

I forget that I've been arguing my whole life.. So thats why im so good at having *intellegent* arguements.

Fucking expirence.

God damit mom.

I have to show u goddamn books in order for you too understand why black lives matter, or how to not scare tiny 3 or 4 yr olds about how the man down stairs will cut their tounges or how you make deals that never benefit me and i just get manipulated over and over again untill i find a way out of the loop, or why i need privacy and space in my life-

So yeah basically, im done.

I gotta sleep or else shes gonna bust in here and do shit.

[lumosinlove]

Solntse

part ii

Remus sits in Lily and James’ tiny living room and tries to ignore the subtly laid out pillow and blankets set on the corner of the couch. Lily doesn’t let him.

“Your apartment has flees.”

Remus sets his glass down, “That was one bug and it was a beetle.”

Lily twists her hair over one shoulder, unrelenting, “Remus. Please.” She nods towards the pillow, “Just—I’m worried. We’re worried.”

Remus looks away so he doesn’t have to see the way James nods, they way they’re both looking at him like he’s already a lost cause. He wishes for a moment he’d never told them what he does other than serve pizza and take the early shifts at the gas station around the block, but then he’d be all alone in it. And they were his best friends, that was why he had told them. Just in case one day all of James’ fears came true and some guy murdered Remus in a hotel room. Or something.

James sighs, “Mate, we’re not ganging up on you.”

“No, I know.” Remus nods down at his mug of tea, “I know. I just…I don’t want to be that friend you can’t get rid of. Like. That would be awful.”

“Re, you’re never going to become that.” Lily puts a warm hand on his shoulder, squeezing, “That’s not how we think about it at all. We just want to know your safe.”

James raises his mug to his mouth, “As safe as you can be…”

“James.” Lily snips, then her face turns soft again for Remus, “Will you stay here?”

“Lils, really, my apartment is fine.” He curls his feet further beneath him, “I’ll finish my tea and go. Don’t worry.”

He thinks back to his two night hotel escapade and shakes his head more firmly at Lily. He already feels enough like a charity case as it is. Even if he did get good money for it. Sirius had pushed an extra eighty dollars into his hand at the door and closed it before Remus could protest. He had pressed a chapped kiss to his cheek too. Remus was still mulling that over.

When he finally does make it out of the apartment he pulls his ratty coat tightly over his shoulders and ducks his head against the wind. He could probably buy a new one if Sirius called again. He did ask for two nights in a row, and it went great so, maybe. But he didn’t want to be flashy about any new money. His landlord had already raised his eyebrows when Remus had handed over two months rent in advanced.

His apartment wasn’t flea infested although it did give off that sort of look. He had a cheep futon bed frame, just to keep his mattress off the floor so it didn’t mold, and a dresser from IKEA. His kitchen consisted of a stove and a sink. The gas was usually pretty iffy and his sink ran mostly cold, like his shower, but…he had a roof and food. It’s fine. He has James and Lily if he was really, really in trouble but he doesn’t want it to come to that. He’ll never want it to come to that.

He throws his keys down on the dresser and goes to check the leak under the sink. It hasn’t gotten worse but he empties out what water is in the bucket just while he’s there. He re-tapes the crack in the window and makes a note to ask his landlord about that. Again. He’s just sitting down on his bed when his phone rings. He groans and closes his eyes when he pulls it out, hoping it isn’t one of his less polite customers. He sighs in relief when he sees the name.

“Frank, hi.” Frank almost never wants sex. He likes to talk. He’s lonely. Remus can relate. He’s the son of two wealth-soaked parents who don’t pay him a lick of attention. Remus can half relate. “How are you, mate?”

“Oh. Hi, Remus. Wasn’t sure I’d get you, um. I’m fine. I—um. Was wondering…” He trails off.

“Sure, when were you thinking? I’ve got something Tuesday and Sunday and you know when I work, so…”

“Actually, I was thinking now?” His voice is up an entire octave with nerves, “I just…Family problems right now. Was hoping to just talk a bit.”

Remus runs a hand over his face but tries not to pause too long. He doesn’t want Frank to think he doesn’t want to, “Sounds great! Should I meet you at the—“

“I couldn’t get the usual room. It’s 207 tonight. Same hotel though, the Pierre.”

Remus nods, tries to keep a smile in his voice, “Great. See you soon.”

He’s barely hung up when another name flashes up at him. He’s almost embarrassed by how fast he answers, “Sirius. Hi.” That didn’t come out anywhere close to how he wanted it to.

“Remus! Life is good?”

Remus laughs lightly, still caught off guard but warmed by Sirius’ simple honesty, “Uh, yeah, life is good. How are you?”

“Good. Busy. Always busy, you know? I’m at airport now, going to be in town on Wednesday. You want see together? Or, ah, not together.”

“Each other.” Remus supplies.

“Yes, perfect. You always know. What you think, Remus?”

Remus half wishes Sirius would stop saying his name like that and half wishes he’ll never stop saying his name like that, “Yeah, that works for me. What time were you thinking?”

“Seven? I get us dinner in room, so don’t eat. I’m, ah…” Sirius lets out a soft laugh and Remus presses the speaker closer to his ear, “I’m think about you a lot.”

Remus swallows over a suddenly dry throat, “Yeah?”

“Hm.” There’s a loud speaker in the background and Sirius says something low in Russian, “Flight calling me. Wednesday okay, yes?”

“Yes. Have a good flight.”

“You too. Or—“ They both laugh, “Okay, I’m go now. Bye, Remus.”

The line goes dead and Remus lets the phone fall to the bed. He breathes in deeply and looks down. He’s half hard in his pants now and he really doesn’t know why. He’s suppose to be on his way to Frank’s, he tips well, he honestly needs Remus a little bit and…fuck. He splashes some freezing water on his face from the sink and yanks his door shut as he leaves.

Frank’s is fine. The hotel room is nice and Remus ends up sucking him off—twice. He doesn’t get hard either time but Frank seems either completely fine with that or he doesn’t notice. What does get him going is the ping he gets on his phone while he’s walking home from the tube. It’s a picture. Of Sirius. A selfie. He’s grinning in front of a beautiful sunset outside a plane window. There’s no message except a few sideways parentheses that Remus takes as smiles. Looking at the grin triggers thinking about Sirius’ large, warm hands on his hips and back. That leads to thinking about the way Sirius had carefully pushed his fingers inside of Remus, then the hot slide of his cock to replace them, his weight covering Remus’ back—

By the time Remus is walking up the stairs to his apartment again he’s more or less waddling around his tented trousers. By the time he’s throwing his keys on his dresser all he can do is lean back against his door and shove his hand into his boxers. They’re already damp with pre-come so what’s the point anyway? He smears his thumb over his head and squeezes the base, letting out a breath. It’s not as good as Sirius and his fucking huge palms. Now that he’s got a hand wrapped around himself he can really feel the difference. He pushes his pants down around his knees so he can get two hands around himself instead, twisting around the head and keeping a tight grip around the shaft. It barely takes a dozen pulls before he’s shooting into his fist with a harsh sound, Sirius’ name almost on his lips. Almost. He makes the mistake of thinking about the way Sirius had trailed his fingertips over his sensitive cock after he’d made Remus come in his mouth, keeping the pleasurable nerves alight, and takes a cold shower so he doesn’t have to go again. The shower only makes him think about how, next time, maybe Sirius won’t come untouched. Maybe Remus will get to return the favor. He doesn’t even know how much of Sirius he could fit in his mouth but fuck if he doesn’t want to try. He groans and wraps a hand around himself again. He’s too sensitive but he doesn’t care. He works himself fast and hard until his cock is a flushed red and he comes weakly against the shower wall, panting into the cool spray.

He looks at his phone as he towels off his hair. It’s Saturday, and it’s going to be a long couple days.

~

There’s a different woman at the front desk this time and Remus is glad. Not that he thinks the other one would remember him but, still. He stares at the twelve on the door for a moment, trying to calm his heart rate, before he knocks.

The door doesn’t open immediately so he knocks again, feeling more awkward by the second.

This time there’s a muffled shout and a few seconds later the door is yanked open by Sirius—dripping wet and a towel hastily wrapped around his waist.

“Sorry!” He gasps, “Sorry, flight late, felt kind of like plane—plane all over me? Thought I be fast, sorry.”

“Okay.” Remus meant to say it’s okay but, well, Sirius’ towel is slipping sort of low.

“Come in, come in, I’m be ready in minute.”

Ready for what? Remus wants to ask.

He goes to sit on one of the couches and strokes his hands over a soft pillows while Sirius pads back to the shower, dropping his towel without closing the door. For a second, Remus debates on whether he can consider that as an invitation or not. He stands up twice and sits back down before the water shuts off and he sits again. Sirius emerges a second later, grabbing the towel from the floor to wrap around his waist and another for his hair.  He rubs at his hair until the waves fluff around his ears and into his eyes. He smiles over at Remus somewhat guiltily.

“Sorry again. You want look at menu?” Sirius flips open a sleek looking suitcase and starts rifling through it, “Starving. Airplane food most bad, you know?”

Remus doesn’t but he’s not about to start that conversation. Instead he reaches for the leather-bound hotel book, “Where did you come from?”

“Sydney, ah…Hard for me to say.”

“Australia.”

Sirius laughs and pulls a loose fitting pair of sweatpants on—bare, “Yes, right.” A white long sleeve shirt follows and—to Remus’ surprised delight—a black snapback. It sits snugly on his damp hair, pushing the front part back out of his eyes while the rest wings out above his ears. Remus can see the shape of his ring necklace through his shirt. He swallows. Sirius looks good.

He pulls some warm looking socks on and Remus glances briefly at the hole in the heel on his own left foot. The couch bounces a little as Sirius settles next to him, leaning in close to look at the menu, “Good food? What you like?”

Remus tries to read the menu, he really does, but Sirius’ arm is thrown over the back of the couch  and his fingertips are brushing over where he sweater gives way to skin. He holds the menu out to Sirius, “You decide. I’ll eat anything.”

Sirius gives him a teasingly disapproving look but takes the menu and reaches towards the side table for the phone. He orders too much. A steak, fries, a plate of brisket ravioli, a cheese board, a salad, calamari, and two slices of chocolate cake. Remus doesn’t know where they’re going to put it all, but he hopes maybe he can take some of it home.

“We do tea later,” Sirius reaches out and fans one of Remus’ curls between his fingers. “After.” He amends, “They say thirty minutes.” Then his fingers are lightly brushing Remus’ hip, just beneath his sweater, “We stay busy while wait. Is okay?”

“Yeah.” Remus breathes, because what Sirius doesn’t know is that he got off to the mere memories of what they did last time every night leading up to now. Sometimes twice. Of course it’s okay. He’s never had a job this fucking okay, and he’ll damn sure make the most of it until Sirius moves on. They always do. Remus usually feels more grateful when they do, but he has a feeling Sirius will be different.

Sirius flashes him a grin and tugs him right into his lap. His lips are warm and chapped against Remus’, but the rough texture is nice. Remus feels like it keeps him there, in Sirius’ arms. He runs his tongue across Sirius’ bottom lip just to feel it and is rewarded with a soft sound and a palm to the small of his back. Sirius, who seems to be able to take Remus aback in almost everything he does, is holding Remus close, chest to chest. Not by the hips, not by the shoulders. Remus has never had any problems with abuse and he’s lucky in that way but Sirius, Sirius isn’t holding him like he’s there for sex at all. He’s cradling Remus in his lap, hands running lazily up and down his back. He’s licking into his mouth like they have all the time in the world, like they’ve been kissing forever and they’ll do it tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Remus’ palms cup his jaw and he runs his fingers along the edge of the snapback.

“You want off?” Sirius’ voice sounds like he’s just woken up.

Remus shakes his head and his eyes slip closed as Sirius’ mouth moves to his jaw, “No.”

Sirius’ warm breath against his neck as he laughs softly almost feels better than the wet kisses he’s leaving there. Almost.

They stay like that until the knock on the door makes Remus blink his eyes open blearily, suddenly aware of how warm he is.

Sirius shifts him to the side gently, kneeling on the couch for one last peck, “I’m get food, relax here.”

Remus blinks at him, licks his kiss-swollen lips, and honestly just wants to ask Sirius why he is like this. He rests his head back on the couch and listens to Sirius’ bright voice chatting away to the bell boy who brought their food. He’s thanking him, telling him how good it all looks, and Remus thinks maybe he’s just this nice to everyone he meets. He isn’t sure what to do with that.

“Hey,” Sirius head pokes back through the door, cart trailing him, “Food.”

Remus isn’t going to say no to that.

The spread of food looks even bigger when laid out and Remus can’t help but laugh as Sirus sits down next to him again, “Sirius, this is…a lot.”

Sirius shrugs one shoulder, “We don’t finish, you take home.”

Remus isn’t going to say no to that, either. He has a brief moment of wondering whether ordering this much was purposeful on Sirius’ part, but pushes it aside. That’s ridiculous. Sirius doesn’t even know him, much less anything about his financial situation. Well. He might know a little given who they are to each other.

Remus spends most of the meal listening to Sirius try to explain some funny story that happened on his trip, and anticipating the occasional moments of being fed bits of steak and such by Sirius, who barely breaks in talking despite how it takes Remus’ breath for a moment.

“I spend lot of time in hotel, you know?” Sirius’ voice breaks into Remus’ thoughts, mid story. He wished he’d been listening fully to know how to respond.

“I, ah, lonely?”

Sirius shrugs, but shoves a large scoop of pasta in his mouth. Remus takes that as a yes.

“How did you…” Remus searches for the right word before trying, “find me?”

Sirius actually pinks a little at that, “Ah. Friend. You know him. Recommend. Say you very sweet.”

Remus nods and respects the anonymity even if he’s dying to know who, “Sweet, huh?”

Sirius smiles a little, “I’m think so, too.”

They move onto the cake and the hotel had sent up an two extra desserts, seemingly just because Sirius is Sirius.

“I’m stay here lot, they know me.”

“Probably because you order the entire menu anyway.” Remus jokes.

It makes Sirius’ entire face light up, spreading his hands, “Hey, why not? Hungry after long day of flying.” He knocks his ankle against Remus’, “Good food, best company.”

Remus rolls his eyes a little and Sirius snorts. That shouldn’t be attractive, but it is.

“You live here always?” Sirius asks through a bite of cheesecake, “London?”

“Yeah, always.”

“Born here?”

Remus nods, “Yeah. I live a few streets over from my parent’s flat.”

“Must be so nice.” Sirius is smiling, but his eyes are down at his plate and he looks a little mournful. His fingertips not holding his fork are twisting the ring around his neck,  “Be near family always.”

Remus takes a bite instead of answering. It had been nice. For a while.

“Not…Not nice?” Sirius says softly, “Sorry, not want to bring up bad things, Remus—“

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s fine, I just…yeah, I don’t really talk to my parents much these days.”

Sirius places a warm hand on his thigh, thumb rubbing on the inside slowly. But it isn’t sexual. It isn’t even verging on sexual. It’s soothing and warm, and it makes Remus want to keep talking.

“Not since I came out.” He finally manages, “To them. They weren’t…” But it turns out that’s all he can say on the matter.

“Make you feel better…” Sirius wets his lips, “Parents not know. Mine, I’m saying. Scared to tell, not good thing in Russia.” He gives Remus’ thigh a little squeeze, “I understand. Remus, it’s—it’s most brave.”

Remus blinks hard, “Yeah.” He doesn’t know why he’s sitting here having this semi-melt down with Sirius. Sirius definitely isn’t paying for this. He’s probably annoyed with him under all his kind words and so Remus snuffles and digs his palms into his eyes, trying to wipe the tears away and the redness that’s probably there both. There’s nothing really to do to make this not an awkward transition. How do you go from tears to sex? And with a stranger? “I’m sorry.” He begins, “Fuck, this—was not what I had planned.”

“Remus, it’s not apology—no, okay?” He’s suddenly pushing the food table away and tucking his legs beneath himself, sitting on his socked-heels and taking both of Remus’ hands, thumbs rubbing gently against the vulnerable insides of Remus’ wrists, “I’m not mind, really. Really.”

“I’ll take this out of your pay. Honestly, Sirius, this isn’t what you brought me here for, I just want you to know that I know that.” Remus can’t help it though, and despite his words curls his fingers around Sirius’, “Sorry."

“Please stop saying, Remus.” Sirius tone is firm, “Please, you—not an apology.” Even the word ‘apology’ sounds nice in Sirius’ mouth.

“I…make okay? A bit?” Sirius tugs very lightly on Remus’ hands but when Remus shakes his head he—he lets go. Which Remus can’t decide how he feels about that.

“Sorry.” He says again, then at Sirius’ face, he pushes a hand through his hair, “Fuck, sorry—Sor—“

And then Sirius is kissing him. His thumbs are stroking slowly along his cheeks and he’s sucking Remus’ bottom lip slowly into his mouth, brushing his tongue along it with the same amount of leisure. Remus sighs into it, fingers digging into his own thighs for a moment before he’s leaning forward and pressing his palms flat on Sirius’.

“Only if want.” Sirius says against his mouth, “Remus.” He pulls away just enough to look at Remus’ glassy eyes, “You not want a second ago, I’m just want no more sorry. No, ah, not need to do anything, okay?” He curls his fingers back around Remus’ ears, around the curls there, “карамель, can just put movie on. Have more cake.”

Remus sniffles a little, blinking hard at Sirius, “Did—Did you just call me caramel?” He remembers the soft word from last time.

Sirius smiles, a bit, and lifts one shoulder, “It’s good, no? It’s…not sure how to say…small names important in Russia. Mean two people are close.”

Is that really what we are? Remus wants to ask. He sort of wants to yell it because, as great as this is, he sees nothing but a darker end. For himself, anyway.

“Oh.” Is all he says out loud and falls sideways a little on the couch into the cushions. He’s suddenly so tired. Sirius doesn’t seem to mind, though, and mirrors his position, their knees knocking together. His soft smile is still aimed right at Remus. “What’s yours then?”

Sirius’ smile grows, “Mama give to me when little.” He raises his eyebrows, “Little bit funny, not laugh.”

Remus feels a smile of his own start up and he uses his sleeve to wipe his nose, sitting up a little more, “I won’t laugh.”

“Sivushka.” It rolls nicely off of Sirius’ tongue, and his cheeks pink a little but he looks pleased, “Sort of…for family? Friends. Not so much lover, too…small?”

“Casual?” Remus offers, “Like, it means a different feeling.”

Sirius’ smile is soft, “So good with english. So helpful.”

“Sivushka.” Remus tries it out, but it doesn’t sound half as good. Then, he can’t help it, heart in his throat when he asks, “What’s…what’s more than friends? Like, not—just, I’m curious what that would be.”

“Lover? Sirusya, maybe.” Then he smiles, eyes crinkling warmly, “You like? You call me?”

“Surely someone already calls you that.” Remus tries to keep his voice light. I mean, look at you. He wants to add.

Sirius sits up at that a little, eyes going hard, hand—that had been rubbing idly against Remus’ knee—going still, “No. No one call me.”

Remus swallows, “I—I didn’t mean—“

“I’m not—изменя́ть.” He huffs in frustration, “изменя́ть—I’m not know, not know, okay?”

Remus’s chest goes cold, “Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

“Not be here if with—someone else.” Sirius shakes his head, “Not like that, Remus. I’m not.” The phrase is followed by a disgruntled spell of Russian that Remus does his best to follow through tone alone.

“I know.” Remus finally says, “I know you aren’t.” Because he’s only met Sirius twice but he can honestly say he does know this about him, “I’m sorry.”

“Not apology, карамель.” Sirius rubs his hands over his face, “Too much action, sorry.”

Remus looks on in confusion, “What?”

“Me, me,” Sirius gestures aggressively towards himself, “Me. Too much action. Not right.”

Overreaction, Remus thinks and nods, “No, I understand.”

“I’m know…what guys you probably see doing…this.” Sirius doesn’t look at him as he acknowledges exactly why Remus is there for what feels like the first time other than money exchanges, “Not wrong for you to think. But no.”

“Sirius, it’s okay.” But that feels wrong somehow and so he says instead, “I mean, we’ve done this three times.”

Sirius is quiet for a long moment this time. “It’s true.” Then, after running his fingers over his necklace a few times, “You have other small name?”

The topic change pings a little, “Um. Not anything big. Re, mostly, if anything.”

“Re.” It sounds like a lovely mess of vowel in Sirius’ mouth, “That’s all?”

Remus nods, “Nothing like Russia, huh?”

Sirius runs a hand over his face one more time but when he moves it there’s a trace of his usual smile, “I’m find you one, not worry.” Then, eyes down and voice quiet but questioning, “You have…small name…for lover?”

Remus swallows. His throat is so dry all of a sudden so he just shakes his head, then realizes Sirius isn’t looking at him so he croaks out, “No.”

Sirius nods back, “Oh.” Then he grabs the remote and pushes it into Remus’ hand, “Find something. I’m call for tea and get money before forget. Be back.”

It seems like the end of the conversation, but the conversation doesn’t feel over. Remus choses a movie, but he couldn’t say what it was about. When its over Sirius has to tuck the money into Remus’ back pocket himself. He presses another kiss to Remus’ cheek. Then Remus doesn’t hear from him for two weeks.

[shady-glasses]

(31) Question For Your OTP - SeroKami

Is it SeroKami? KamiSero? Idk man. @tenseii told me to post this so they could read it so here you are!

Original Post

1. Who in your OTP is the serial butt-slapper and who is constantly getting their beautiful butt slapped?

You would think it's Kaminari? But it's actually Sero. A good slap on the butt after a good training session amongst bro's that leaves Kaminari flustered and red faced mayhaps?

2. Who wants to be immortal and who wants to die before they’re old?

Kaminari is ready to go okay, but Sero is like “death? Nah.. not, yknow, feeling that..”

3. Who smokes and who pulls the cigarette from between their lips every time they try to light one?

Kaminari tried to smoke once in high school to look cool, and Sero would put up a big fuss, which Kaminari actually appreciated because it gave him a perfect excuse to stop and, thank god, he actually hates smoking.

4. Who always has cold hands and who is always warming them up for them?

Sero is a skinny tol boi with zero circulation who always has freezing hands. Kami 'warms them up' (i.e Sero puts them up his shirt and uses his lower back for warmth while smiling as Kaminari shrieks)

5. Who plays candy crush in important meetings and who elbows them in the ribs to make them pay attention?

I'd say Kami, except for instead of candy crush, it's the minecraft pocket edition.

6. Who can fall asleep anywhere (and does) and who has to put them to bed?

I empathize with this cuz?? thats me af?? but I'd say Sero during exams. He probably stays up all night and crashes right after so Kaminari piggy back carries him back to the dorms, but not before drawing on his face.

7. Who is the genius procrastinator who wings every test but still comes away with straight As, and who takes preparation and conscientious work very seriously?

They both kinda stupid lol. But Kaminari is by far the one who tries to 'wing it' the most.

8. Who takes their coffee black and who likes it with milk and two sugars, getting called a pussy by Person A?

Sero doesn't even really like coffee, however, when he has it he takes it b l a c k because unlike SOME people,, hes not a pussy

9. Who initially seems shady but turns out to be a cinnamon bun, and who initially seems like a cinnamon bun but turns out to be shady?

Everyone in 1a thinks Sero is soooooo soft and sooooo friendly, and they almost don't believe the  “one time he filled my shoes with whip cream at a sleep over” stories. And then Kaminari is just trying his best over here, drinking his respecting women juice, staying in his lane (most of the time).

10. Who moans and talks with their mouth full whenever they eat good food, and who tells them to stfu but can’t help laughing?

Kaminari is loud at everything he does and just doing that teenage boy thing where they moan and Sero is like “dude stop” and they make a bunch of over-exaggerated sex moans with a mouthful of cheeseburger and Sero is laughing and trying to cover his mouth like “OHMYGOODNESS, DUDE, STOP WE'RE IN PUBLIC!”

11. Who gives the bear hugs and who is always sidling up to them and snaking their arms around their waist?

Kaminari just like.. hugs.. okay.. like, he and Kirishima are chronic platonic cuddlers, but that doesn't mean he's had his fill of boyfriend hug time so

12. Who still buys juice boxes and fruit snacks to put in their lunch?

Kaminari FOR SURE. He may be a 22 year old pro hero with a real job, but fuck you fruit-by-the-foot still go just as fucking hard as they did when he was five so yes he's still going to eat them

13. Who packs the other’s lunch and who repays them in sexual favours?

You know Sero does the shopping, so that is def where the fruit snacks in Kami's lunch come from so, y'know, Kami has gotta show his appreciation somehow? ;) ;) ;)

14. Who leaves notes in the other’s lunch and who tells them they’re dumb (but secretly has a collection of every note Person A has ever written them)?

They both do! But not just in lunches, also on laptop screens, on the bathroom mirror, on the microwave, etc. Being pro heroes mean it's hard to find time to see each other even when they live together, so little notes get left out to show they were still thinking of the other.

15. Who unconsciously holds their breath the first time they kiss, and who pulls back and says, “Breathe…”?

Ohhhh def Kami, cuz lets be real, its 100% his first kiss, and he's really scared of fucking it up.

But it's short and goes fine, and is so much more perfect than he imagined, and he thought all first kisses were supposed to be awkward but? It wasnt? And all the emotions build in his chest and he's not quite ready to open his eyes yet because it's kind of a lot right now. And he can feel Sero's breath ghost over his lips as he run's a hand through the buzzed blonde hair at the back of his neck and tells him to, “Breath” with a little laugh.

16. Who gets arrested for a petty crime they committed by accident and who bails them out?

They heroes so probably no criminal records BUT Kami did get detained y police after a drunken fist fight with Mina in a denny's parking lot (long story, but she won).

17. Who grabs the other’s hand just as they’re getting out of bed and pulls them back under for cuddles?

Sero is def the “5 more minutes” kind of guy, and his boyfriend has, yknow, actually fat on his body, so hes w a r m, and so knew apartment law is he can't leave right now its officially illegal because Sero would freeze to death and that'd be murder

18. Who gets mad about something unrelated to Person B and punches the wall, and who patches it up and kisses it better?

Neither cuz thats a unhealthy habit yo, but have they taken blow's for each as pro heroes? Yes they have! Sero is probably more likely to take a hit, and shrug off any injury though.

19. Who has the plain black phone case and who ordered one with cat ears off ebay?

Kaminari thought the sleek black would be cool and edgy, but hes also clumsy, and has almost dropped it a LOT. So Sero buys it for him and Kami uses it just to spite him.

20. Who likes to drive with the music blaring and who is too shy to sing along?

They both blast their music, and when alone will sing along with each other (power ballad duets?) but with others Sero will usually only hum along as he's not the most confident in his voice.  

21. Who’s the fantastic kisser and who has the beautiful eyes?

Sero is probably the better kisser, but they both think the other person has the prettier eyes. And yes, they have fought about it.

22. Who has the sunshine smile and who has the seductive gaze?

Sero has that smil, you know the one okay. And Kaminari “sex eyes” Denki doesn't have the most perfect teeth, but he has a whole lot of libido to make up for it lol.

23. Who gets offended by the intensity of the other’s crush on a celebrity?

Sero logically shouldn't be jealous of Briteny Spears but like.. how can he compete with that? It's Briteny Spears, she is far superior than him, he wouldn't stand a chance! So yeah he's a little bitter about it, and kinda wishes his boyfriend would pick a less pretty celebrity to crush on.

24. Who is embarrassed that they have to wear glasses sometimes and who wants them to wear them in bed?

Kaminari is that kind of guy who's mark's go up like, 20% after he gets glasses because “Wait, the write the notes on the board too?” or some shit. But glasses are kinda lame in his books, so he wears contacts, and tells literally no one about it at first. Sero likes them though! He thinks they’re cute.

25. Who cheats on the other then immediately begs for their forgiveness?

Sero: I dont want to hear it

Kami: BABE IT WAS JUST ONE NIGHT! I PROMISE!

Sero: Go cry to Briteny, cuz i honestly dont care

Kami: It was one concert! How could I pass up Britney Spears LIVE in concert?

26. Who is the jealous one and asks why the other was being so flirty all night, and who is oblivious to their own charms?

Sero is just nice okay? How was he supposed to know that girl at the side bar was flirting with him, he just thought SHE was being nice? He legitimately doesn't notice anything is wrong until he has a possessive hand around his waist and a lapful of his boyfriend to help him clue in.

27. Who orders a milkshake with their food and who orders a soda?

Tbh they broke, so they go splits and get a rootbeer float, because compromise

28. Who runs their battery down to 1% and who feels the need to charge theirs at 80%?

Kaminari is a walking power outlet so he is fearless when it comes to phone battery like “yeah I can make a phone call with 3% it's fine” and Sero over-charges his phone so know the battery drains super fast now. 

29. Who has the excellent singing voice and is always singing around the house (and for Person B), but has no interest in going professional?

Kaminari actually has an amazing singing voice, probably because he has been singing for as long as he can remember. The pro hero life has always been the life for him though, so he'll stick to small 1 person concerts for his boyfriend while making eggs.

30. Who would rather be barefoot if the setting is appropriate, and who has the huge and spectacular shoe collection (possibly also socks)?

Kaminari may be a fashionably challenged preteen but he glows up okay? So he has WAY to many shoes than he needs, and Sero does not care for it. Sero has like, 5 pairs of shoes tops, and ofc he doesn't wear shoes in the apartment because he's not an animal.

31. Who takes their liquor on the rocks and who likes it neat?

I feel like after the 'fighting mina in a denny's parking lot' thing Kaminari isn't much one for hard liquors anymore anyways. So Sero is way more the kind of high class scotch guy.