#thats like warning that there's gonna be blood on vampire media

[katetcake]

In a game where you collect bugs that look like bugs and fight GIANT FUCKING SPIDERS that look and move like actual fucking spiders, why are you putting a content warning for bugs???? They're literally everywhere in the source material! It's a given!!!

[prettyflyshyguy]

Alright for the freaks who are oldschool Supernatural tumblr people, or just normal supernatural people, and for the rest who are just like me and don't know shit: I'm dumping all my garbo takes under the cut.

Mostly gonna be me either being really enamored or really upset.

No in-between. These things are either great or the worst. My tastes are specific and I'm picky with vampire fiction and rarely do I find media that ticks the boxes yet, I still watch almost anything I can find obsessively.

Who knows maybe this'll become a new casual TV series if I like the dynamics. Anyway, long post warning under the cut.

They got Bela Lugosi's Dead playing in a room full of nu-metal heads LMFAO

truly the alt communities have always been done so dirty in media

least they did their research on song choices

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jesus christ

flashbacks to my steampunk phase circa 2011

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I LOVE that this woman looks so normie and looks so delighted when she meets this equally normie looking dude in an alternative bar (i want to go there the people seem chill and the vibes are impeccable)

anyway who is this guy he seems familiar

love that they made the most normal dude in the bar the real monster good on them :)

christ they just took one look at twilight and went yeah lets TV parody this shit just for a laugh didnt they

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHE'S 17

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(DID SHE HAVE A FAKE ID I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION)

OK ok ok you get big bonus points just for this bit. Just for this bit.

Thank you supernatural go off

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"I'm just scared I'm dreaming and I'll wake up in math class" girl me too

im sorry this woman looks so much older than 17

POINTS DEDUCTED

POINTS DEDUCTED

BAD TEETH

great eyes, horrendous teeth. very dissapointed. I'm only here for the fucked up canines because we already HAVE them and whats better than perverting the existing human form into something subtly wrong

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This show has such an aggressive title screen compared to buffy and the x files LMAO

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ok i can get behind the chevvy, the chevvy is nice

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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

POINTS ADDED - holy shit points added for this cheesy poster alone really capturing the schtick of the late 2000s

ok i get it, i get it guys, they're fun, they're funny, they've got a great sibling energy, the periodic 'screaming' happening in the background of this scene is sending me

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this has been too fun so far i feel like somethings gonna ruin it

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok this is so self aware yet the degree they're committing is just.

its marvelous. this is peak. I'm into it.

there are so many ads please i want to see dean have a bad day

Holy shit is that Skinner from the x files i love that guy

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the fashion. iconic. if anything I'll be coming back to this for inspiration for myself.

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the way Dean just slammed that guy on the car yelling "OPEN YOUR MOUTH"

yeah instant favourite.

you've rounded a corner, a dude has just beat the shit out of your brother and now he's about to force feed him blood and your response is: stand there staring like the shocked pikachu

oh so you wait till after he's done to scream "no!" in a half hearted tone

is there something I'm missing here, i know Sam gets a bit cooked at some point (does he get possessed??? idk) so I'm gonna assume thats whats going on

this is the best 'turning' scene I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing in all my years of trawling through vampire media

holy shit the team that wrote this episode fucking get it

the audio design, the acting, is so on point

Supernatural Crew you cooked so hard and I'm deeply thanking you for it

this was fucking made for me what the fuck what the fruck what the fuck what the fuc

Nooooo dont have an emotional breakdown in the bathroom looking at your fangs, but you're so sexy aha

The constant heartbeats anytime Deans in a room with someone got me grinning like :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

ok points deducted, again, for bad teeth but my god

the "I gotta go-" scene GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT

someone get this kicked puppy a sippy cup

a red fanta chug jug

where is his sippy cup

look i know its probably not fun, at all, to drink red mystery meat juice on set but its gotta be cheaper than CGI teeth. Please.

Please let more relunctant vampires reluctantly chug jug (with you)

Oh Never Mind they wrote it in that he can't drink or he's stuck >:(

im still having a good time, just a bit less of a good time

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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using a large serrated knife to cut appart a horde of vampires seems like a great idea and getting covered in blood you're not supposed to drink is inevitable

but watch out

Sam: thats a pretty mentally stable thing to do

I REALLY WANT TO

CHUG JUG WITH YOU

ok this scene of him makes up for the lack of authentic blood chug jug I'll take what I can get

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Ok final thoughts: that was a solid 7 and a half out of 10

thank you Supernatural you hit almost all the high notes when most stuff falls flat for me. Still, you came soooooooooo close. And got so far. And Yet in the end it doesnt even matter.

Still, this one's going straight to the pool room, and I can comfortably say I'm throwing it on the shelf of 'comfort media' that I can go back to on a bad day.

This had some fucking BANGER scenes that surpassed my expectations and deeply pleasantly surprised me. Good shit! As someone who is hard to please, this was a riot. Still; a shame they arbritrarily rules-d him taking a chunk out of someone. Would have been sick. Could have had the great slow build up of the initial turning scene - him and the love interest, holding back - then him cracking it after holding out and snapping.

It is not too much to ask, I swear. It's a good trope.

Do I dare take the risk of trawling through fanfiction to find another horribly specific weirdo like me, because Supernatural seems huge and a scary place to fanfic trawl.

[c0untb00z]

I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.

First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.

However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.

So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.

I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.

To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.

However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.

Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.

The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.

Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.

Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america

Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.

Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:

Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.

Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM

And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING

anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life

[hoofbeast]

warning! dream daddy spoilers for damien’s route

first of all, i just want to say that i fucking love this game holy shit. i work full time so i only get enough time to play one route per day, so ill eventually get through all the dads, but i started off with damien. this post is going to be a whole shitload of screencaps and spoilers, so ill put everything under a cut

the theme song is so great XD i actually paused my pandora at work so i could listen to the song a couple times

i wanted to play my first run through of this game as close to me as i could manage. i took extra care to design my character to look like me. i had my husband help and he still cant get over how much this character looks like me. my first choice for hair color was white (like most of my hair is now) but we decided to go with red because no matter what i do to my hair i inevitably circle back to red. i gave him my signature sly smirk and i used my actual name, too :3

right away, this game has me pegged. this is exactly something i would do XD

she’s a real chip off the ol’ block. FUCK THE SYSTEM! *wipes tear*

we ran into brian and daisy in the park, and honestly, brian will probably be one of the last dads i pursue the ending for. few things piss me off more than one-upmanship. im sure theres a lot more to his character and route, but still. 

also, question: is it possible that daisy is on the autism spectrum? theres a lot more to see of her, but what ive seen so far is that she’s exceedingly intelligent, doesnt get along well with kids her age but seems fine around older persons, didnt understand the concept of playing pretend until amanda explained it. i remember being pretty much exactly like that when i was a kid, and ive been thinking of getting evaluated for a while, myself.

the pokemon battle dad brag-off was a nice touch XD is it possible to win? cuz brian kicked my ass like it was his job

seriously, wow. is this game somehow able to evaluate the choices ive made so far and build a personality profile for me or is social awkwardness a way more universal experience than i thought?? because this is exactly #me

so anyway, i met a few more dads before calling it a day. 

i kinda dig mat, he’s as awkward and rambly as i am, and i am always cool with people who are passionate about music and puns and music puns. so far, he was the top contender for my first dad. 

then there’s robert, with his hot, smoldering gaze. hot and smoldering because i can already tell that inside, he’s a blazing tire fire.

i dont hate craig (forgot to get a cap of him, oops) but i do hate everything he stands for. namely, jogging, exercise, waking up before noon, and jogging. fuck an entire pile of that. i totally blew him off when he tried to get me to come to the gym and went back to sleep. like i said, im playing this as though Daddy Felix were the irl me and, honestly, craig would be lucky if he got a text of anything but misspelled swears and knife emojis from me if he woke me up at 6am

i will state right now that i do. not. trust joseph. he’s the only dad ive seen so far that actively flirts right from the beginning which is highly suspect behavior for a youth minister, and once i did the yard party and saw that he was still married, i trusted him even less. what kind of future could my character ever have with some cheatin ass bastard?? if i give you a bad dragon gift card will you back the fuck up off me, joseph >:/

#me

forgot to get a cap of damien in dead, goth, and beyond (i am totally calling it that from now on thats perf omg) 

anyway, i got through the yard party part. i kinda feel bad for craig cuz i stonewalled him pretty hard haha. but mat was there and i wanted to know what he was saying.

about this dadbook thing, tho: its grindr. like, its thinly-veiled grindr. there is exactly 0 reason why a nonsexual social media site should have turn-ons and ideal dates. this is definitely where dads go to hook up and fuck.

i read through the profiles and decided to message damien, literally because his says to send him a letter if i wanna talk about black cats and i VERY MUCH WANT TO TALK ABOUT CATS, YES. i didnt expect it to trigger a date, but this is the opposite of a problem. i figured id just have to court mat on my next playthrough

damiens house is fucking awesome 10/10 would have tea again

hoh! looks like i found your slashfic, damien >:3

wait. the narration said it was a worn leather bound book. did this fucking nerd seriously have his gay naruto fanfic bound in leather and then he keeps it in his swanky library?? i knew there was a reason i liked him XD

i think the first time i saw this reaction was from brian at the park and i was looking at the text so i didn’t see what it actually was. this time i was paying attention and its fucking eggplant and droplet emojis and im fuCKING WHEEZING FUCK XDDDD i know damn well what that means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway ya boi felix fucking crushed it whoop whoop! i learned to date from the master (the dating master is of course papyrus)

i have actually never played a dating sim before so it never occurred to me that i could go on dates with multiple dads without fucking up my game. i thought i was locked in to damien’s route, which, again, was the opposite of a problem, full speed ahead ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

so damien wrote me a for real letter! what a classy gent. <3 i am always a slut for handwritten letters

so obviously i write him a letter back, and i try to pick the options that are classy and rule out the ones that are trashy or over the top. i remember being a goth teen (and a goth adult ahaha) and how much i hated being condescended to. i want to play along with damien’s shtick, not make fun of him

completely forgot to take any caps of the actual date, but damien is afraid of horror movies and that’s even more adorable than mcree being afraid of horses. also, the running gag of cliche horror movie shit happening when damien shows up (his door creaking open and then slamming closed, spontaneous cracks of thunder) is terrific. my favorite part of vampire chronicles II: evil never dies is during the twist ending where one of the characters fucking looks into the camera and says the full title of the next movie in the series (vampire chronicles III: evil must die again) like its an actual statement a person would say in conversation. that shit had me cracking up

third date i was cockblocked before i could kiss damien by his phone ringing, then we ended up here and omg if this is a blood donation clinic im gonna shit

i see pet carriers. this is a vet’s clinic or smth

*sharp gasp* he’s... a NERD!! not that i didnt know that already by the way he has smutty fanfic in his library lmao

who would i even be trying to kid, of course i am

me: *softly, choking back genuine tears* gaaaaaaaay....

fucking SWOOOOON

(also he reminds me of equius when his hair is tied back like this and just HNNNG!! this was the BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME)

sorry heteros, mothmans gay and we’re dating

piss off joseph im clearly with damien i know you want your slutty altarboy holes filled but find somebody else to do it fucks sake begone, thot

screeeeee<3<3<3<3<3

THE END!

not sure if ill post about other dads and their routes. probably not like this lol. im no good at this whole commentary thing. maybe ill collect up some highlights and post them or something.

anyway, im going to go through each of the dads while making decisions i would personally make, where possible. once im done with that ill go back and savescum until ive tried out each option so i can try for all the bad endings. my brother’s girlfriend told me theres a secret ending for joseph but i told her not to spoil it for me (maybe a polyamorous relationship with him and mary?? that would be awesome mary is cool), and i saw in the achievements that you can fuck robert on the first night. otherwise im actively trying to go through this blind and im having a blast so far. this is a very fun game