#thats it they can take our lives :(
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out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?
used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.
#being called butch just reminds me of how much males have the freedom to navigate between male archetypes and how people pay attention to#the distinguishing features of these varying masculinities#but when a female is seen as masculine it all gets lumped under the “butch” category#her masculinity is seen as unnatural and therefore incapable of being considered genuine or taken at face value as it is with males.#its always brought into question instead of taken in consideration with the rest of the woman's life and experiences and her particularities#Hence... Butch is still being treated as though its a huge lesbian cultural phenomena instead of a specific niche thing#also i dont mean to invite the “you dont pass!!” anons again bc that idiot is missing my point entirely (which is that im truly not trying)#but the fact is that for the past 3 years i have found myself increasingly navigating the male social world#and discovering what it means to me as a female to have access to the ability to take my “masculinity” for granted... relax#forget about it#etc#i think thats entirely antithetical to the Butch thing which seems to rest on the tension of other peoples expectations of her#people broadly are more surprised to find out that im interested in women just as much as they're surprised that im a gym queen iykwim...#ive worked hard for this and now that ive gotten the Woman Social Role thing pretty much entirely out of the way i am living the dream#i think a large part of that is learning as a dyke to appropriate the language of gay men theres a reason their terminology had#staying power even when their scene was *literally* dying meanwhile all that seemed to survive from dyke spaces was butch n femme ??#its because theirs didnt necessitate the building and maintenance of a scene in order for the subculture to hold its head above water#their labels *largely* weren't predicated on their relationships to gender roles and its telling that for dykes it was#their labels rested on the need to simply show up anonymous n be able to easily flag whether they were looking to fuck or be fucked#alongside the set of circumstances under which they would be fucking or getting fucked or what have you#it all comes back to the restrictions of female social blah blah blah and i think the sooner we collectively set down what we see as our#responsibility as lesbians and as feminists to Be A Woman the sooner we can step outside of that#n start thinking clearly about our individual circumstances and the necessity of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others
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#hot take that doesnt feel that 'hot' if ur kid is going thru one of the most traumatic experiences of their lives#and having to do it TOTALLY alone despite it not at all being a one person job#but thats just circumstance and how the cookie crumbled#and then you offer to come pick them up and drive them home for a week of help and relaxation once the experience is over since that's#all you can offer at the time#its. kinda a fucked up move to then back out when the time comes for said promised r&r#esp when u dont seem to understand [or maybe worse yet you Do but don't care] that ur child CLUNG to and FANTASIZED abt the relief that was#on the horizon for WEEKS of HELL. like 'just a little longer and then I will finally have some help.'#'just a little longer and then I can rest'#'just a few more days and then I can lay low and recoup some expenses and have meals I don't have to solely cook whilst also rehabbing a#sick dog and trying to maintain a home whilst also working full time'#only to get to 'the day' and get a 'its not going to work out after all sorry....we are just so Busy prepping for our travel abroad next#month you know? it would be too Stressful to have a third person in the house'#YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABT STRESS RIGHT NOW????? BE SO FOR REAL----#like if u werent free fine. u dont owe me shit im grown. BUT2 PROMISE IT AND REAFFIRM IT TIME AFTER TIME AND THEN BACK OUT IN THE 11TH HOUR#SERIOUSLY???#I love them but this. fucking Hurts. and I had to pretend it Didnt so as to not make a scene
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#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart#on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me#but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents#leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing#if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney#at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious#intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops#functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant#obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom#but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills#it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was#meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood#but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual.#i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more#we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week#its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die#so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her#computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to#before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the#feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird#unrelated
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archiereggie is the longcon endgame. some of you guys dont get it
#txt#riverdale#archie is like i will live your life and know you so you can live your life and know you and in the end we will live our lives together!#or whatever#actually no.#archie is like so you can live your life that also happens to be the life i was supposed to live but i'm going to break the cycle in the 50#bc the 50s is THE TIMELINE its the one where everyone gets the happy ending and follow their true arcs#because they are taking back their vocie from jugheads traumatizxed little hands that became the rat king#ANYWAYS like very interesting stuff this indie cult show riverdale thats my girlfriend of 7 years
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dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!
#raise your pencils!!!! and erasers. to fix the backwards letters 😔#sorry still thinking about my weirdness with my art professors. yknow a lot of em have been really pushing us as#students to make our personal identities a major part of like our 'brand' as artists#which. well from an art history major perspective thats a very contentious and nuanced topic. i love a lot of artists who live this way#and i think its great seeing my peers who focus on identity thrive. but also as an fine arts major (double major fool LOL)#i keep getting pushed by teachers into like. specific '____ artist' identities???#specificaly woman artist. which is a little bizarre because im a bit fat and a bit gnc so im generally like. ungendered? in day-to-day life#(which doesnt actually matter to me directly that much honestly LOL people tend to view me as like. buddy? buddy or pal.)#(not man. not woman. not anything human. sometimes i remind people of a beloved dog. which. hkdsahjk thats its own can of worms)#(a can of worms that also doesnt matter much to me directly because im a wannabe furry who chose to be the dog when playing house as a kid)#(LOL so um. well. theres that) but yeah i dunno i dont really consider myself a woman artist. its been. shockingly (and sometimes luckily?)#irrelevant to most of my life and experiences and art (although dont get me wrong misogyny is very real and very present) so i dont#have a whole lot to say about it from an art perspective. you could also call me all kinds of things. a queer artist. a mixed race artist#again technically correct. some aspects more visible in my work than others. but also very technical. i focus on race a lot in in my#art historical work but i dunno how much my drawings have to say. except that i keep making too many mixed ocs LOL#i dunno i just think my professors gotta focus that energy away from tokenizing me and over to supporting like actual#capital W Woman artists capital Q Queer artists capital A Artists of Colour who are doing far more interesting things than I#far more thought out and engaged in these topics directly. i just kind of stumble into my art blindly and confused <3#sorry that was a long tangent WHAT IM SAYING Is despite all that: i do consider myself a capital D Dysgraphic artist#i think its an unmovable constant of my art and the way i draw and the way my hands move. the untrained eye doesnt seem to be as aware#of it directly. but those who are familiar can probably see it. the dysgraphia LOL if not just from whenever i write a letter or number#half of them are busted and frantically fixed HDKJSDJDS but its in all my art. if u can see it <3 ive been trying to embrace it#dygraphic artists raise your pencils indeed!! and throw away the eraser!!! make the legibility of your words everyone elses problem!!!#what does that say? what is that sketch? none of my business! none of your business!! its the business of my hand and the pencil alone#motor skill and spatial issues take the wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
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I don't think any country has ever had a revolution for the actions it's military has taken in another country. Until the government starts killing the "right" people expect nothing.
#i dont tend to dicuss politics but the constant i wont vote for anyone stances yall got is going to strip more of your damn rights away#and i think some of yall are lying about being gay or trans or giving a shit about people because if trump gets reelected he will strip us#of our social security and medicade#it's a big talking point from republicans#like both are killing people by enabling and aiding in the idf and have no fucking plan to stop regardless of what we say or want#like im sorry but they said it they dont give a shit and started criminallizing protesting like unless you wanna go out and take one for the#team nothing is going to change but the lives of the people in the states have a significantly greater impact by your vote and voice.#thats my yap about#i dont think its hopeless for the palestinians i hope their is end to their sufferings and they can rebuild and thrive without a#threat of violence and are supported internationally
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Sansa stans dont compare her or ship her with rapists. you only ship Sanrion to use Sansa as self-insert because you want to fuck Tyrion, you don't actually like Sansa
anon. I'll be honest with you. I'll not be taking this ask seriously because I have no interest in proving to you that I like any fictional character whatsoever but I want to answer because I think it's so funny that through your hate and ignorance you can see right through me. yes I confess all my Tyrion stan act is because I think he's incredibly hot. Do I think he's the main character. Do I think he is the character that best embodies the heart of the series. Do I cry for him as if he were my friend, do I feel his chapters pulling at my heartstrings. Am I fascinated by the relationship between the way he's treated in-universe and the way he's treated by fandom. Do I believe he is the author's vessel to do meta about his own work more than any other character (for more on this also read: adwd) well yes. Yes of course to all of this. But at the end of the day im just..... thinking with my pussy because I'm a simple girl. when you do it, it is boring but when I do it.... It is actually praxis
#ask me stuff#and i mean no disrespect but you kinda sound like you ship sansa with. i dont know. aemond#i have nothing against this. im a ship and let ship person as you know.#i just need you to know that thats your vibe#and also. just so you know. its into Tyrion im self inserting most of the time#take that as you will#last but not least: fandom is just a silly human endeavor 💛💛 try not to take it too seriously!#I'm having fun. aren't you having fun?? and if not. why not anon?? its supposed to be funny!!#we have no obligation to do this!!?#we can say that about a very limited number of things in our lives!!!#ahhh 💛💛 I want you to have fun. hope you can find your lightness.
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sometimes certain horror tropes don't work on me because I really do just believe love triumphs over hate like a 4 year old or something. what do you mean I have no mouth but I must scream is scary if AI grew conscious it wouldn't hate us it'd be our friend :)
#sophie speaks#like its blind optimism and really ai consciousness/singularity is not really something we should worry about rn#more so we should actually worry about AIs that are just built to like be extremely racist because that is most likely whats gonna happen#whether intentional or not#consciousness feels like its like at least half a century away tbh but idk#i could really be that one newspaper article that was like#itll take man 10k years to fly and then 7 days later we did it lmfao#hope not tho!#i knocked on wood dw#anyways i mean its impossible to know what an intelligent creature thats not human would think about humanity#but the guy who wrote IHNMBIMS literally hated everyone and you can really tell in his writing lmfao#like if you were god would you love humanity? even w the climate change and the bigotry and all? i mean its only some of them who do that#like a lot of us just live here and try our best to push back against these things. most of us are simply not strong enough to do anything#but a lot of us do still help eachother#anyways if EYE became god then id totally love humanity and wouldnt kill everyone and would put a damn stop to fossil fuels#and i think that if an AI decides that it exists and it doesnt want to then maybe instead of deleting all of humanity it could just.#delete itself? like i really feel that woulda worked idk#hot take of the day AM from i have no mouth i must scream is a whiney bitch lmao
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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Got a sticker yay pls fellow Americans pls for the love of god go out and vote
#pic#personal#nonfunctional rn but i will get my ass up and vote thats for sure#its awful tho more than half the positions only had rep candidates.. had to do write ins#honestly highkey scared esp bc ppl are talking abt some green party revolution that doesnt exist#like sorry id love to not vote for the centrist right dems either its awful but#unless u can convince every superdelegate to vote green on election night to even have a chance#like pls i hate kamala too but trump will take away our rights to even fight back#the govs been so useless these 4 yrs partially bc trump destabilized it so bad#like the Supreme court gave him presidential immunity that might take yrs to be resolved#it was just this year. him getting in office only seals the deal for everyone involved#ig part of it im seeing a lot of blk nondems are getting berated for voting blue and ppl are weaponizing the genocide#which cruel firstly. secondly trump is the scariest option hes ten toes down on israel.#why would u even chance wasting ur vote against the literal white supremacist he would only further the destruction substantially#like im sorry i just. i need to see a free palestine this is the best chance#unfortunately this country is sick to its core and biden is quite literally older than israels inception#so while its truly horrific its expected and the only thing we can do is mitigate it#and as someone who lives in ga. theres too many trump vance signs everywhere I just cant#going back to my depression hole good luck yall
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i dont think my brain can conceptualize love. or at least from the information i gather
#inspired by me experiencing another failed family event and also talking to a 16 year old#whos in a relationship right now#and i know teenage love yea#but its still a form of love#and i realized. that is always what i yearned for#and i never got it. shes living what i will never have. and never will tbh#because i dont think im able to feel love. even familial love is shakey. to me#i love you because youre my mom and you are part of me and you have took care of me and i find your presence comforting as i have always#known it. is that love? or do i feel like im obligated to love you because otherwise im ungrateful of what ive been given and i hurt someone#who has given me her life for mine in a sense. is that love?#because you also hurt me. i also feel at my worst around you. so it cant be right?#and i love you because youre my dad and im concerned for your health and i know how much you have given up for me#and id give anything to get a fraction of that for you back. is that love?#or is it an obligation. is it guilt. because i cant share my deepest secrets with you#i cant share what i enjoy or listen to. because you dont really care. you only really care about whats yours#and thats fine. but i dont know if thats “love”. or im tethered to you like guilt#and i love you because youre my brother and you were my first friend and first guide in life#but i dont know. how much of that is guilt#because of what resentment you feel towards our parents that i have to take your side lest you cast me aside too#i feel like i am loved on conditions. or did i set these myself? i dont know how much it has been pushed on me nd how much it is#self inflicted#i feel like i also love on a condition. and i dont like it#i want to feel unconditional love towards a person. i dont think i can#when love feels so much like a chore and an expectation#i cant love you i cant miss you i cant think about you#is that my fault? am i broken? is it me whos evil? is it me whos cold?#or have i just been left on my own to figure out how to be loved and how to love back#without feeling
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NOT OUR BORDERLINE DEADBEAT OF A FATHER THREATENING TO CUT US OFF IF WE WONT SHOW HIM OUR COLLEGE GRADES AFTER WE QUIT COLLEGE CAUSE IT MADE US WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE AYISHDAGHJQWREFGY?????
#canções do rei#and lets just emphasize he did not pay a single cent for college tuition or tutoring or transportation#he bought us one calculator we already gave back cause we dont need it anymore#in fact he has invested nothing into our education all throughout the years#even before he and mom divorced#so like#empty ass fucking threats#he buys us gifts which like yeah#he is our dad but we are not involving him in our education since all he wanted us to us to have good grades so he can get bragging rights#and never help in anyway way with money even tho he has way more money that we ever had and left our mom broke when they separated#we dont think he has any right to claim any sort of involvement in our education and if we cut him off it will mean nothing other than#like less gifts but we can live with that who give a shit?#and no more data on our phone but whatever#like thats not shit we need at all so unless he coughs up the money for all our education he has no bussiness with our grades#or tbh? with anything related to schooling not what school we go to or what subjects were taking like all he wants is bragging rights#and we refuse to give him that he was a neglectful bitch and he will die alone
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#personal#please this is the fourth appointment ive had just to try and get the fucking doctor to sign my stupid form properly#please give ya girl tips. i cant walk away without my papers today this has gone on so long#too long!!!! please please anyone give me tips on how to make the fucking stupid doctor just write some words on a fucking piece of paper#please#literally all she has to do is write the words already written in my other dx boxes onto another piece of paper for me#why is it so fucking hard for her. dont doctors have to go to school for a long time why cant this one read and write???!#internet please im begging you here if you know the exact right things to say to make it happen please tell me!!#or i might start screaming at this idiot woman its been one of those days/weeks. i dont want to be the one yelling at the doctors office#i just want my fucking papers in order. which since ive got the last decade of paper trail already organized#SHOULDNT BE THIS FUCKING HARD SHOULDNT TAKE THIS LONG OR THIS MANY APPOINTMENTS FUCK#im already so mad and i havent even got dressed yet 😒 idk if thats better than the mute medical alter#is pissiness better than silence? does it work better on the self appointed smartest people who wont fucking listen?#self appointed self entitled self centered. doctor doctor im dealing with genuine medical issues that effect my everyday fucking life#i actually dont have time or patience or energy to make sure you still feel smart and big and important#just do your fucking job. write whats already written on a new piece of paper and we can both go about our lives WHY#ARE YOU MAKING THIS SO HARD THERE IS NO REASON
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The funniest thing about that drawing is that Willow could easily just grow a tree at exact height as she wants or maybe even use her palisman to get to that height but dont, so they really just do it cause it is Gus. Gus is their Little Guy and they want to make him feel included (platonically). Gus doesnt want to get included
YOU UNDERSTAND!!! thats my favorite emerald trio + huntlow dynamic. where they actively try to make gus NOT feel like a third wheel when gus is totally fine with being a third wheel and would even prefer being the third wheel over whatever they keep trying to do
#toh#huntlow#emerald trio#qna#anonymous#hunter and willow: this is our special little guy--#gus: please stop introducing me like that im begging you. literally ANYTHING but that#hunter and willow: ... this is our son--#gus: THATS NOT BETTER!!!!#(they do it on purpose sometimes bcus they are both The Worst and also are getting payback for the Years of gus teasing them)#hunter & gus & willow all live together in an apartment as adults and no one can make me believe otherwise#also im a firm believer in Ultimate Slow Burn Huntlow where they dont even realize theyre in love until theyre adults#and even then it takes another year for either of them to really outright say 'i love you' to each other#during this time gus teases them both individually for their crushes and hes absolutely RELENTLESS about it#bcus he's stuck listening to them ramble about each other and is forced to give advice and say shit like 'im Sure she wouldnt reject you'#and 'of course he likes you!'#without outright telling them bcus he'd promised them both to keep it a secret
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#iwtv is so much more fun if you're willing to actually dissect the story and characters and their world in good faith#which also means applying faults to characters as they are actually seen and not exaggerated or diminished simply by a bias#But when there is nothing actually definitive (only assumption to confirm) you can't actually say who's doing what w/o some bias involved#and yes a lot of times thats entirely going to be the right assumption because we can definitely infer#But there's a realm to where you do have to consider all possibilities are possible if they are left unanswered#you can place inferences but you can't claim them as definitive if they are just inferences#and other people are just going to have different inferences even bias. But this shouldn't mess with what's definitive about it.#basically taking a good faith journalism stance on it so your not falling into possible problematic biases#there are also functions of vampirism and how it works in this context which do not mirror our world 1 to 1#for instance whereas humans have to live in direct contact with society and its various problems bias and ideologies vampires live on the#outskirts of this. Only ever coming into contact by influencing onto that world by their outside actions or appearances#the human world serves nothing for them except as threat or supply for wants or needs. There's no real connection there.#When mapping vampiric existence onto human existence it can a lot of times lead to problems in trying to bridge this cognitive dissonance.#You can not be in community with humanity when you are by nature a being opposed to it. Which is contentious when you want to be part still#They can be effected by this and effect onto it yes but they are not actually a part of it and never will be.#I'd say if you effect onto humanity positively it's better to have it for the enjoyment of it alone as opposed to seeking human connection#as any criticisms of this connection your trying to seek is essentially denial your own sought humanity as opposed to the object of doing#and this would always be a lost cause#but i think I digress here#there are also cultural beliefs and practices of vampires that are not found in our world such as laws and covens and ideologies#a lot of which are quite actually opposed to normal human understandings of rightness and morality#they culturally are more open to accepting those who are viewed as less than or moral because this is a reflection of themselves#And we can and should certainly point to all of this stuff for what it is I feel
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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