#that's not necessarily a bad thing it doesn't look bad not at all!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Who is more into commoners vs idols/celebs?
Skz limiting beliefs
Can you do these in between husband series?
Ugh those guys just can't give a straight answer🙄💀
Who in Skz is more into celebs/commoners?
Chan: not a definitive answer, rather he says when the chemistry's there its there, doesn't really matter what the person is. Although i believe thats what he would say but how it actually is, is that he prefers having someone thats equal to him in the sense that they're both are on the same mental&emotional level. So thats a pretty big indicator for me that for serious stuff he probably leans towards celebs cuz they share a similar lifestyle and understanding of that life.
Lee know: bro just said none💀😂 although when i look past that there's a heavy commoner energy. It just feels simple. Theres no better word to describe the feeling. So i guess he's someone that appreciates simplicity in relationships especially and by logic commoners are simpler than idols or celebs.
Changbin: my guy tells me he likes people who reject him🥲🤡 he likes chasing after something he can't have. I had to pull 3 cards for him cuz bro kept repeating the same thing in each one. Idk guys, i guess he doesn't have a preference or if he does his need to chase and be rejected and wallow in his own tears and despair is way higher on his priority list when looking for a partner than if the person is famous or not🙃
Hyunjin: ehm so...he has had a pretty bad experience with someone so he's shaken in his preference. Idk which one it is tho. Once ahain clarification cards aren't of any help🥲 after long, long, long shuffling i finally got a card which gives me groups & peers vibe so maybe he tried something with a person from his circles and it wasn't good at all so now he's confused as to if he should remain open to idols or not. That being said, my guess is that for now he's keeping it low and kind of in the middle. Maybe not dating complete commoners, but also not celebs, maybe he's oriented himself towards influencers or something of that sort.
Han: Def commoners. He needs to be the star, to be admired, to get lots of attention and having many hypemans. Among other celebs he would be just one among many, but among commoners he's a star. And he lives that. So his choice in partners also def reflects that.
Felix: he likes a good variety. A bit of everything. So i think he may not habe a solid preference but rather be in the mood for this today, and net week in the mood for the other. Yk. For now his new "mood" is wise people. I think he's really into that - people who see through others shit, who cant be fooled easily, who can teach him a lot and have a "godly aura".
Seungmin: he likes celebs, well mannared and pretty. Also may not necessarily be entertainment celebs like idols. Could be actors, ceos, owners of something, just affluent people with status, means, manners and just overall are a "good, valueable contribution to society".
I.N: so either he's saying he likes heartbreakers or that he's a heartbreaker. Boy what?! Ok i think a commoner may have broken his heart so now he's gotten cold towards them or something. Maybe he wants to repay now in ignoring "them" and focusing and considering only options that are more affluent.
#skz#stray kids#tarot reading#kpop#asks#bang chan#lee know#seo changbin#hyunjin#lee felix#han jisung#seungmin#i.n#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#kpop tarot#headcanons#reaction#skz imagines
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
SLINKS IN WITH MY DAEMON AU BRAIN I LOVE DAEMON AUS YOU ALL KNOW THIS ABOUT ME
anyway
alphinaud is a fancy rat 10/10 no notes. clever little guy who is like haha I'm so cool and likes to have his little buddies around him and likes to work out things. but is also. kind and gentle and loving. and so so shiny and neat. lovely little fancy rat. perfect.
alisaie was difficult because she has such small cat vibes but they're all fairly nonconfrontational and solitary, and my ass is like...alisaie has her bouts of solitary wandering, and she doesn't necessarily go out all aggro, but she doesn't back away from a confrontation, and I think that's kind of necessary for her. I'm not even fully sold on coati like rob and the cat vibes are so damn good I'm sure we can find SOMEthing but I like the thought of her being. a little beastie. a bitey little beast. it'd be nice if it was black and white bc of red magic, but also, there's SO many black and white small beasties. gestures at half of mustelidae. grisons. several weasels. badgers. hell we could go insane and look at spotted skunks!!! imagine!!!
minfilia has such good moth symbolism bc moths are like butterflies but with the goth element of also being an omen of death or whatever and that fucks I think. rob is a genius. lunas are nice. they have pink bits!!! also this is a surprise tool that will help us later.
yshtola has to be a snake just because it feels good. she might even be able to fit a cat more than alisaie but snake just feels so much better. again the symbolism is off the charts with the poison and the healing. magic. ambush. and ofc they snooze around on warm things. it's cute.
thancred is like. ultimate coyote no notes 100%. rangy cool looking dog, semi-social, adaptable, seems very capable. all the guard dog not allowed in the house symbolism. too wild to be let inside. they can hang out on their own but get along MUCH better in a little group or pack, often persecuted with a bad rep, ultimate survivors. they also get along well with a range of other species which I think says a lot about thancred's ability to infiltrate other environments. the way coyotes are friends with vultures (scavengers) and badgers (complimentary hunters). they can fit in anywhere with anything, but their true selves are kinda misunderstood underdogs. we had a great talk about how it would narratively work also. chef kiss.
urianger is DEFINITELY a vulture but I'm trying to convince rob about egyptian vultures lmao. lammergeiers are so so so juicy with the whole like. lamb nomenclature thing. see ryne discussion later. but vultures are kind of shy as a rule and have maybe unsavory behaviours (they vomit as a defense and also eat the buttholes first lmao) but they do the difficult jobs nobody else wants to do. clean up the mess. like thancred, misunderstood, untrustworthy reputation. beautiful, beautiful birds. the augury thing is a given, of course, it always had to be a bird.
ryne!!! unsettled ryne gets to be. rabbits. lambs (^see look). small songbirds, kept captive. moths! rob had that all in hand so so genius. rob you're so smart I am just reiterating everything else you say lmao. cheetahs are fun bc a lot of people don't know that they're kind of messes. but they're still dangerous!!! and esp with. emotional support dog. wah. she blossoms into. a dangerous tough cat. that squeaks. and likes to hang out with a couple buddies. she won't be alone anymore :) I'm also imagining. ryne with two scavenger parents. her daemon being a lil crow to tag along with them. cute.
GRAHA...WHEN ROB WAS LIKE "I THINK GRAHA COULD BE MEERKAT" I WAS THE MOST EXCITED OF MY LIFE BC I LOVE MONGOOSES AND MEERKATS ARE LIKE. the gentlest. I think. rob already put my comments. I am so hyped about meerkat graha. I go about my day and I think of it and I smile. social. cheerful and sweet. have particular guys who are their faves. tough!!! fierce!!! affectionate!!! wahghg. galaxy brain. delighted. city critter.
tataru. pink. smart. no notes. I could have notes but right now. piggu.
I'll also say right now I also have no current ideas for krile << sorry krile I'll come back to you
I just!!! got to thinking about estinien and I was like hmm. peregrine? bc they're so so fast, the fastest, when they DIVE FROM THE SKY, but they are small and I was like. that seems fragile. he needs something else. so I checked gyrfalcons. and they are very similar, they're WHITE, they wander around a lot and explore huge areas, they almost like, welcome change, in that regard. they LIKE change. raptors have that kind of bluntness and directness, but even though they wander they're reputed with a good relationship with humans. loose-bonding, but bonding still. and they're imposing but also a little silly, and cute. fearsome but soft feathers. and now him and urianger can bond over being birds of prey as well as elezen /o/ I just like the thought of it. and rob mentioned the falconry hoods being kinda like dragoon helmets which is a SUPER cute image.
ANYWAY UHHH DAEMON AUS I LOVE THEM ROB IS SO SMART THANKK U
my scion animal assignments (aka the daemon au that lives in my brain)
alphinaud: fancy rat (very smart and social, a little scurrying guy, busy little hands, can learn tricks, good to ride around on a shoulder, prey animal)
alisaie: coati (clever little omnivore with prehensile tails. females are very social with each other and form lifelong social ties (and also have bigger frontal cortexes than the males!) (my original thought was ocelot/margay although im veering away from that bc kit miqosquat @sunquail pointed out those are rather solitary critters. they also suggested magpies or woodpeckers? i also admit i have some biased fondness for coatis since they were in a local zoo when i was growing up heheh. this one might change - luckily in a daemon au we can sort of fudge when the twins settled. i think alphinaud settled earlier than alisaie.)
minfilia: luna moth (i knew i wanted a moth bc of flying towards light, the mythological tie to death, and the fleeting life - adult silk moths (which luna moths are) live an extremely short adult lifespan and literally cannot eat in their adult bodies. i went with luna moth because they're very striking and pretty)
yshtola: some species of pit viper (venomous, and an ambush predator. the duality between the venom and the association with healing. pit vipers (rattlesnakes, for example) have very poor vision but have extremely good heat-sense and sense of smell. y'shtola to me is someone who waits for the right time to do things and then does them very dramatically. snakes are also just sort of occult.)
thancred: coyote (has to be SOME type of canine. scrappy little scavengers who are so good at thriving under pressure. seen as a pest. evolved as a secondary predator. canis latrans = talking dog. social patterns can vary and adapt throughout an individual's lifespan - solitary, in a pair, in a pack. i have more coyote facts if you want them)
urianger: bearded vulture (so augury was a roman practice of divination through birds (also the source of the words 'auspicious' and 'inauguration' - and augurelt!), and augurs were the people who read the will of the gods through birdwatching. so it has to be a bird. vultures were a majorly important bird in augury, and i like the parallel you can draw between a scavenger of carrion and the hvw and shb gambits urianger was part of. i settled on bearded vultures bc i also wanted to pick something visually suitable as well - bearded vultures have a head of feathers, and have a sort of gawky golden elegance that suits urianger well. hey wikipedia also just told me that in ancient egypt vultures were associated with motherhood - i always win and i NEVER lose.)
ryne: cheetah (a lightning-fast predator who is also extremely anxious and needs companionship. the emotional support dogs from zoos also ties nicely to thancred being canine. her unsettled forms were mostly small little prey animals - rabbits (baby birch by joanna newsom), little songbirds (for the cage association - nightingales and canaries), lambs (sacrificial slaughter), and a lot of trying to force her daemon to be butterflies/moths to match minfilia.)
graha: meerkat (a funny little clever guy who builds a big city and needs to be in a group of people and also he can fight a poisonous viper. ballsy. the sweetest of the mongooses. to quote kit: "they're weirdly possessive over Their people. like they're cliquish kinda, they're extroverts and love to hang out with people, but they have THEIR special people also. who are favoured")
tataru: potbelly pig (extremely intelligent and cute. and PINK! my reasons are simple but effective.)
estinien: [placeholder] (i haven't put much thought into it bc my main thoughts for a daemon au would be about ryne settling during the events of shb and he isn't in the scions for that. has to be some type of predator that can survive in harsh conditions and isn't very social. a few of you are saying hunting bird, which is intriguing... like a heron or a cormorant. maybe an albatross? i'm also thinking snow leopard maybe, but also :/ lord asriel from hdm :/ )
krile: [placeholder] (i don't have a very good grasp on krile as a character, and a lot of that is the writing's fault. sorry krile. some type of domesticated animal, maybe? or maybe something migratory?)
#ffxiv#daemon AU#I'm sure I have a generalised daemon AU tag. I'll check later. I've def posted about others.#when I can draw more I'll do lil sketches. doodles.#long post
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm just going to explain something real quick because the inability to grasp this is very amusing to me. I want to break down exactly how it is that a character can be toxic in one relationship, but not another.
Let's make some characters. We'll call them Character A, B, C, and D. Character A has trauma surrounding love/feeling like they're worthy of love and struggles with self-image. Character A pined over someone long-term in an unhealthy, one-sided dynamic, likely due to their own unconscious self-sabotage and tendencies to set impossible standards for themselves.
Character A is drawn to Character C, and the feeling is mutual. They might want to pursue a relationship. Character C is in an arranged marriage with Character D, and by all accounts, Character D has done their absolute best to do right by Character C. Even if Character C doesn't seem interested in making the relationship work currently, there's still reason to believe that might change. After all, there's plenty of circumstances that could bring them together and give Character C a chance to see aspects of Character D that they never considered before.
So, given Character A's struggle with believing they're worthy of love, even if they decide to be in a relationship with Character C, and Character C doesn't pursue things with Character D...wouldn't it make sense for Character A to feel at least a little unnerved by Character C's arranged marriage? It's not currently possible to get a divorce, so Character D is still somewhat present. Character D is often away, but Character A and Character D work for the same overall organization, though not in the same branch.
It would be reasonable to suspect or even actively anticipate that this could trigger Character A's trauma and insecurities because of this obstacle unique to Character C's circumstances. Of course, Character A still needs to do the work on their own time to unpack their trauma, but it's probably easier to do without a constant, underlying sense of unease that they could be left for Character D.
It's harder to heal when you're in a dynamic that actively aggravates your specific wounds, even if it's not any specific Character's fault. Character A might doubt their self-worth more, and that could make Character C feel frustrated or suffocated because they might be in a position where they have to spend more time reassuring Character A that they won't leave them for Character D instead of actively being together.
It's even harder when the other characters around Character A and Character C are surrounded by two other couples in arranged marriages that made it work. In fact, the party responsible for arranging these marriages has a pretty solid record of making good arrangements, though there's definitely been some bad reviews and bad experiences. So, there's even more reason for Character A to suspect that Character C will leave them.
Character A doesn't really have particularly good coping mechanisms either. Character A works themselves to death, and might even avoid Character C out of fear of getting attached to something doomed to fail. Character C might be hurt by this. Or, Character A might do the converse and work extra hard to make sure Character C is happy enough not to leave them for Character D. And that's probably exhausting in and of itself, but what about Character C? What if they start to feel suffocated or like they don't have the space they need for their own independence because of Character's A trauma being triggered by their specific circumstances?
It sounds like there's a lot of potential for toxicity between Character A and Character C, but not something necessarily inherent to their specific persons. It's a circumstancial issue.
So, if we look at Character B, who might be a romance interest for Character A, that aggravating factor doesn't exist. There's no threat that triggers Character A. So, Character A isn't unnerved, nor is Character B suffocated or having to reassure Character A that their fears won't come to fruition. Instead, Character A can focus on healing their trauma, and Character B can support them while on their own healing journey, too.
I'm sure plenty of people already understand this to be the case, but for those who didn't before--congratulations! You now understand why Azriel is, in fact, potentially toxic in a relationship with Elain but not with Gwyn.
And that's what you missed on Glee.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
went to the cinema yesterday to see The Name of the Rose, which I had seen only once before, like ten or twelve years ago, and it was such an incredible experience to rediscover that film, and since i was in the mood i decided to start watching the new adaptation that came out a few years ago as a tv series and. it's a different experience for sure. i'm only 25min in, so i'm not really forming an opinion just yet, but i'm having thoughts. (also Michael Emerson is here, as the abbot, which surprised me because based on what i know about the character, it doesn't seem to require that "little freak" vibe that emerson has, but i am glad to see him there!)
also i have never read the original novel, which i'll rectify in the very near future.
#idk it was so amazing to be able to truly appreciate the cinematography of the film as an adult#to fully understand its plot; the underlying themes; just the fact that it's an incredibly well made film#the palimpset bit at the beginning? SO clever i love it!!!!#and the show is. well. you can tell that they're trying to adapt all of it#and why not yknow? but in 25min they crammed so much stuff already#it feels very disjointed#it's a mini series so they don't have that much time i guess#but at the same time it's a shame not to take advantage of television as a medium and pace it differently#idk. again i'm only 25min in maybe i'm being too harsh#also visually it has that sleek modern tv drama look#that's not necessarily a bad thing it doesn't look bad not at all!#and it's not fair to compare it to an 1986 film (especially one i just watched on the big screen the other day in 4k)#technology and aesthetic preferences have wildly changed since then#but yknow. i like colours :) and contrast :)#umberto eco was apparently involved in the production of the show so good for him i guess#also the film cost 20 million and the tv show 26 million!!!#so i wonder how that budget will translate#there was a battle scene at the beginning so i'm guessing it probably went into that kind of stuff#anyway. i should probably finish that first episode.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
As always wishing there was a socially acceptable way to simply say "I'm about to get weird and act strange for a little while and it will look unsettling from the outside but I promise it doesn't hurt anything and I'll be back to normal later" or "it is going to take me so long to complete this minor task that doesn't really affect anyone else, but I promise it will get done eventually, all is well" or even "the way I am doing this will seem counterintuitive to you but trust me that there's a good reason"
#basically i want to reassure people that even though i will sometimes get a distant and congusing vibe in person#i do not hate them and all is well and this is so i can continue to function in society#i'm gonna get the aura of a shelter cat sometimes but this doesn't necessarily mean anything is Wrong#or well. what is wrong is complicated enough that it would take a very long time to explain and we're not here to do that#it does suck that i am so bad at asking for help and receiving help and looking grateful for help. i know i'm working on it#it's just like at the point i need help i mainly need help communicating effectively which is what you need to do to get help#it is kind of like. so just do the thing that is hardest for you in the hardest moments of your life when you can barely think. good luck!#but i have listened to a lot of advice podcasts so i have better scripts for it now it's just.
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
fighting for my life to Be Cool About It playing felix as a dnd character who has only known the party for one(1) egregiously shitty week rather than get carried away with romance subplots I'm inventing in my own head, as if simon getting Enthusiastic and visibly excited while talking a lot doesn't instinctively trigger, in felix, the exact same profound heart eyes reflex that justin doing so does for me in real life
#in my defense I've been playing dnd for nine years and have been in idk how many campaigns and have never done this before ever lol#justin and my characters almost always have insane chemistry but it's always platonic because most of them are fundamentally incompatible#ALSO IN MY DEFENSE THIS CAMPAIGN FUCKING SUCKS MOST OF THE TIME AND SIMON IS THE BEST THING IN IT SO FAR LMAO#jay can have little a blorbo hopelessly smitten with her husband's blorbo. as a treat.#ANYWAY it doesn't necessarily matter that felix is down so bad for simon already-- it's not like he's gonna ACT on it#the problem is just me tryna be cool about it lmao. I don't want justin to feel like he has to play simon any particular way for my sake 🤔#limerick's player when I sent her those felix sketches: god limerick is so weak for everyone in different ways#me playing a highkey nerd-sexual: mmhm mhmm. uhhhh can't relate--#LOOK IF JUSTIN DIDN'T WANT FELIX TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIS GUY HE SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE HIM SO EASY TO LOVE. IS ALL I'M SAYING.#SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE HIM PASSIONATE AND EXCITABLE THEN!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME#I KNOW EXACTLY HOW FELIX FEELS ABOUT THIS THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO TO ME IN REAL LIFE! FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!#about me#husband#my OCs#felix
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Balan is now suffering from Blorbo I Don't F/O syndrome, where instead of kissing the character myself I just make every other character in their media do it for me.
#Emile's Arts#Cradle Ship#Proship#Some of these are Cradle Ships. Some are just regular old age gap#Balan is 3000 years old.#Look the novel said he becomes Lance because he's doomed to love the humans and that Love and Loss drives him to Negativity#Which isn't necessarily a bad thing you should feel all your emotions but you can't fester on the Negative it's all about Balance#ANYWAY#I took that Falls in Love with them part directly to the heart#He love them so much#And they love him!!!!#And all that love eventually leads to sadness when they leave.....#But that doesn't matter because I can draw them kissing him as much as I want!!!!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
every now and then i experience brief moments of self-awareness telling me to make major changes to the fusionsprunt story
#queue#maybe it has to do with this need of visualizing it as an actual tv show. it's not necessarily a bad thing#it's so much fun to question what would happen if a specific part was rewritten or twisted into smth else. how would it work and all#for example. i've been thinking. what if Hunter was an actual robot? how does his interaction with Exocannis and B2 change bcs of it? :0#i dont think that part will be rewritten but it's an interesting possibility#one thing i wanted to change is Gideon's lore though!#the way he disregards B2 doesn't sit right w me (and ig it didn't with everyone else who read the lore)#also! there's not much info about his childhood. it was nice until BOO TRAUMAAA.#overall i wanted to introduce him some other way. the way Gideon Rigell would do!#perhaps with a little comic? a loose dialogue in an artwork of sorts#comparing him to who he is currently is like going. wow! good job buddy ur getting better! but also you should probably seek therapy...#as for B2. i have some ideas.#some times i enjoy exploring new designs in which she looks VERY non-human or has some sort of non-human mentality#a true alien!#i wanna redesign her siblings and make all of them have an 'x' somewhere in their names#what if Beatrix had 4 siblings? what if she was the 'youngest'? what if they were all created by the same person#a person who was responsible for their creation but who also treated them like their own children#some kind of enthusiastic visionary with a passion for robotics who genuinely cared for machines. even 'mindless' ones#Also B2's relation to the Holloway Comet#like no. that's the. that's The Mother. that's the mother guys that's UNQUESTIONABLE#im talking about Monument Mythos vibes yknow. about giant n terrifying monuments/objects#i'm also cooking up ideas for comics focused solely on Bee#oneshots of sorts.... i should probably start sketching......#why am i having good ideas when i barely slept last night HSBWYSBWHDBHQHASSHHA#starbstalks
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.
It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.
#red said#i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life#my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me#like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was#like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it#i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles#and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences#and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma#obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma#is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING#told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip#and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain#until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position#and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific#and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with#like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex#out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh#so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea#that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.
30 notes
·
View notes
Photo
I am not immune to any cutes - including Rick and Morty cutes, unfortunately (Patreon)
#Doodles#Keroppi#Princess Tutu#Ahiru#Rick and Morty#Drizz#Tinkles the Magic Ballerina Lamb#And friend - and tree lol#Cure#And the really cute preying mantis girl from Vindicators 2 - what was with that miniseries having a bunch of cute designs anyway#This really is a RaM-heavy cutes dump - look if they're cute they're cute! I can't help that!#From the top first tho! Lol#Got the urge to draw some of my Sanrio faves - Cinnamoroll specifically - but I ended up only drawing Keroppi#I didn't think I had all that much of an opinion on Keroppi apart from y'know - cute lol but I like him quite a lot I think!#Simple little guy :) I like those kinds of squishy little guys haha#I already like Kuromi too so I guess I just?? have several faves now?? Alright cool lol bully for me#I can't explain the baseball uniform outside of the stripes and sometimes I just wanna draw a batter - OFFxSanrio when lol#Random e'phant for funsies :) I can't imagine what has me wanting to doodle a little trunk creachur for some reason haha#And then an Ahiru! Hweh!!! I'm still glad I added Princess Tutu to my rotation but hweh ;;#Might have maybe been poking around AO3 for post-canon fics of her being happy - not even necessarily Fix-It Fics just - she deserves happy!#There was a quite cute one of Fakir comforting her during a thunderstorm by running a sinkful of water for her :') Cute#And then the rest - Rick and Morty sheesh#Who could have figured there'd be so Much cutes! Like I personally kinda like the RaM aesthetic - especially the colours they're really nice#And yeah like Tinkles is designed to be endearing on purpose - which now that I think of it that's another thing I really like isn't it#Gigglepies and Osomons and Twonkies... Yeah the parasitic good-memory alien fits right in with that#Too bad we never see their real form while alive it's only their illusory form until they die aw#As mentioned Drizz and the Mantid girl are both so cute like this isn't fair honestly - and those trees??? In the flashback??#There's nearly matching ones in Webkinz actually which I think is very funny lol#Cure is absolutely no help with any of this - doesn't help that Never-Past-Bedtime-Land and Froopyland are both kinda like where she lives#I blame her for enjoying hopping back in she refuses to shy away from enjoyment pfbtl okay fine
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
well that was disappointing as all fuck
#rwrb movie#look. the actor chemistry carried this movie#but they still didn't carry it like. to the finish line#it's like#cute romcom; not even necessarily a bad movie#suck-ass adaptation tho like jfc#and i'm saying this as someone who does generally afford adaptations a LOT of grace#i know things will have to be cut and changed and it's all good#sometimes a little sad perhaps but sure doesn't equal not being good#so when i say#this is a bad adaptation#i mean this IS A BAD ADAPTATION#it ENTIRELY missed the tone. the point. the themes. the motifs#like#mh. yeah.#mona rambles
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh god okay i understand that maybe not everyone is as indecisive/comfortable with saying "it depends!" as me, but like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i just can't take people who call izzy a villain seriously
#he's a little annoying dude. i swear to fuck#'the real villain in the show is the system and izzy is siding with the system' babygirl he's a pirate 😭 he really isn't 😭#he could NOT more clearly be -- he literally IS -- that kind of gay man who wears his leathers and anger as an armor because being scary ha#been his way of fighting The System => being consumed and destroyed by it; and who looks down and feels disgusted by flamboyant#and effeminate soft-handed gays because if they're this soft then they clearly haven't experienced this kind of abuse that would make them#harden up. ....you know what i mean.#like idk this show in general like... doesn't have a 'villain'? it's about stede (and ed's) journey and their development. not necessarily#about their Conflict With Someone/Something. i guess it might change in s2 but idk. there are just Situations in which they find themselves#and because of/md is a comedy no one really... holds things against other characters in a long-term way? izzy stabs stede and sells him#out to the english and ed punches him for the latter (which he says 'ok fair' about!!! like!!!) but does he go 'and for all the shit you've#done i'm Firing you as my first mate? no! he slams him against the wall and feeds him his toe but he's like. ok get up and back to work#and he doesn't seem particularly disgusted or upset with him in that final blackbeard's flag 2.0 moment. (nor manipulated; inb4)#like. it's a workplace romcom. the workplace is a pirate ship but it's a workplace and izzy is that annoying coworker who's a bitch and#often ruins everyone's fun but no one like... Seriously ostracizes him. more like applies some light bullying BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY.#COMEDY. do we remember that?#and like. it seems he's going to have a bit of a larger (?) role in s2... it really doesn't seem like the show sees him as a 'villain' or#even an active 'antagonist' either. like ok let's agree 2 disagree and may both sides block each others' asses into oblivion because god#knows both sides have some annoying people but mannnn sometimes... insisting that things Can be divided into Good and Bad... is worse?#shrimp thoughts#once again i wrote a tag novel about an incredibly silly thing. welcome to leatherbookmark
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
michael has so many nightmares... almost if not every night,,
#this shouldn't be a shock at all but yeah. he does not sleep peacefully most of the time!#one of the reasons why his sleep schedule is so bad...it affects him less post scooping bc he doesn't necessarily *need* most basic#things to function anyway but the nightmares don't go away either#they started after the bite of 83 (although that wasn't Every night yet.. at least after some time passed) and felt almost karmic...#something about making fun of evan for being scared only to end up being the one constantly waking up afraid... thought to spin in my head#yea unfortunately he just keeps getting more material!#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
first of all: I have nothing against people posting those huge word lists (words to use instead of X, synonyms for X, etc)
however, I am not sure how many people consider "accessibility, for lack of a better term (I can think of rn at least)
like, I can only really speak from perspective of a non-native English speaker, but if I am reading a story where I have to look up every second (exaggerated) word to figure out its meaning, chances are I won't read it
and still, that only the specific issue of word meanings or translations
words being used wrong, like in the wrong context, can also be really confusing
if I want to read something hard to understand I'll go back read classic literature ahshsahab
#cylas speaks#if it's your writing style more power to you. no shaming intended.#I'm just not sure how many either native english speakers and/or new writers consider this#i think we've all gone through the 'if i use a word (e. g. said) too much the gods of writing will smite me' (/j)#but yeah idk#sometimes those lists involve words even native english speakers would have to look up. words that can/should only be used in specific#contexts. words that only really apply to either person or animal or objects.#etc etc#it's just. most of the time i see lists like that i have to laugh#and then envision easily impressed people actually. using some of the words. and just. idk you do you boo but chances are it'll sound really#stupid if done wrong. or pretentious.#word lists on tumblr aren't necessarily bad but also hopefully not the only thing some people rely on ajsjshaha#cylas rambles#i hope this doesn't come across as mean or hateful or bullying ajshdshsh#something something know your target audience#i personally do not vibe with a smut fic i have to regularly check words for or at least am constantly taken out by unfamiliar words ahsndha
0 notes
Text
.
#yes i know voting for some random tumblr person isn't going to solve problems#that person wouldn't win etc i get it#i've said some shit before but don't think i've gone off the deep end alright#just because i say 'if only' doesn't mean i think 'if only' is necessarily gonna happen#like it's technically possible that like#tomorrow all the rich people and warmongers and reactionaries#just realize how bad they've been and suddenly decide to give up their power#socialize the wealth etc and we have world peace and prosperity#that is technically possible#i would LOVE for that to happen#if only it would!#but that doesn't mean it will and it most likely won't#it's possible in the sense that buying a lottery ticket makes it possible for me to win#except less likely#but still technically within the realm of possibility#doesn't mean i'll hold my breath#i mean no offense to that person of course i just feel afraid someone will actually think#that i think voting for someone on tumblr is going to make things better#that that person will win etc#nah i'm just expressing my unlikely wishes y'all#also iirc I think that person was a woman but idk hence why I said that person#I haven't looked at the blog and I'm just making a one-off post#if somebody uses she but not they i don't want to offend#and vice versa#but i also don't care to look at the blog rn y'know#again just a one-off post
0 notes