#that's how you usually get used to it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
dragon meat, you, and me
#marcille donato#falin touden#farcille#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#tw blood#tw body horror#tw gore#as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!!#like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive#the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence#evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved#ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost#on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation#the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!!#also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood#in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?)#ruporas art
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
since Eng is getting 7.5 soon(?), I felt motivated to go back to my Meleanor rig and make her a couple of lesson animations! ...except for alchemy, because the cauldron bubbles proved too hard to photoshop around, whoops.
maybe she just got lost on her way to the classroom...?
(credit: backgrounds are from the game, I just put her on top of 'em)
(aside from the backgrounds, this is not an edit, I drew her from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#gif warning#gifs that will inexplicably never get a perfect no matter how many cupcakes you use warning#let's just say she hasn't been added to the alchemy schedule yet#AS PER USUAL#(sam sneaks in at night and messes with the schedule so we have to buy candy from him instead)#(i promise i will stop spamposting eventually) (they gotta stop giving me characters to obsess over first)#anyway in my continuing efforts to manifest a meleanor card into existence#it's time to remember i made this a million years ago#just blow off some of the dust and cobwebs that have accumulated here...#'i'm only gonna add a couple of things i won't do too much'#(spends ten minutes trying to decide what color goggles she should have)#(flipping back and forth between green and purple) it's no use she looks good in everything#spineposting#(not me stealth editing because i didn't realize the wrong arm attachment had somehow popped in whoops)
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Maybe someday I'll make a game, a book, a graphic novel, an animatic, an animation, and everything else I want to make.
#the problem is#i have ZERO ideas#and I am a very impatient person#so unless I somehow lazer focus on one of thses#there's a high chance none of these will ever happen#ill try to start small lol#that's how you usually get used to it#idk#i am big dumb
1 note
·
View note
Text
He has arriiiived. I think i got almost everyones suggestions.... oh and wretched is there too
#i got these done in one sitting 💪#my 4 day headache eased off too so i got to listen to my favorite screamy music while drawing him#i also added my own personal hcs from how i usually draw canon jax too#top scarssss#and a tail#this new brush for the linework is a godsend i love it#tried my best to render using only black and white to stick with the whole old cartoon look. was a challenge but fun#his whole aesthetic is very batim /pos#wretched jax makes an appearance because i havent drawn him in a while and i think theyd (kinda) get along#more like cause mass destruction together but hey#thats fun right /j#my art#tadc#the amazing digital circus#carnival jax#the amazing digital carnival#the wretched digital circus au#jax#tadc jax#wretched!jax#tadc horror au#for you#fyp
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Bruce Wayne was never Batman.
So! The night that Bruce Wayne's parents got shot, he developed an Unbreakable Resolve. He needed to get rid of the Crime that had taken his Parents away from him, no matter what.
But that night, he also developed a deep-seated fear of Death. He was face to face with his own Demise and instead of dying himself he saw his Parents die instead. He was Terrified of ending up like them.
But he still needed to stop Crime. He couldn't just let criminals go unpunished, and while he was still using his wealth to try and prevent it before it began, he knew there needed to be something to stop crime After it had been committed. And the Cops were useless on that Front.
He eventually found a solution while looking through his Parents Family Heirlooms.
Ancient Books dating back to the founding of Gotham and even before then, telling of a Creature from another world who his Ancestors had helped in the Past. A Being of Fear and Shadow, who owed a debt to the Wayne Family. He needed that Being. A Monster of Shadows and Fear was exactly the answer to scaring criminals away from committing crimes and punishing those who did.
But he needed to find the Being from another world first.
So he left home, traveling across the Globe training with the best Magicians and Demonologists in the world in search of the Monster who owed his Family a Debt. His travels took him far, from the streets of LA where he met a man named Zatara, to the Snowy Mountains of Nanda Parbat where he learned of the Lazarus Pits and the Demon's that came out of them.
While studying the Lazarus Pits, he was trained by the organization who guarded them. They despised Weakness, and while their leader was in awe of his Intelect he was less impressed by his body's conditioning. If he was to study the Lazarus Pits, he would first have to earn the Right in Combat.
He eventually managed to pass their Tests and eventually left them, having handed over a Copy of his research as the price for being allowed to Study the Pits.
Years later, he finally returned to Gotham, fully equipped to Summon the Being that owed him a Debt.
Bruce drew up the Summoning Circle as perfectly as he possibly could, he had one shot at it.
A drop of his blood and a splash of Lazarus Water later, and the Circle began to glow an ominous Green. Slowing, a shifting shadow began to emerge from the Circle, at first only a mass of writhing darkness before their form Solidified.
The Books he had found on the Spirit said that it would take the form of the Summoners Greatest Fear, which just so happened to be Bats for Bruce. The Form that the Spirit chose reflected that, with large Dark Wings falling over their form as if they were a Cape, and horns looking like the Ears of a Bat. From the Darkness, two glowing eyes appeared.
"Spirit, hear me. My name if Bruce Wayne, and I am calling in the Debt owed to my Family centuries ago. My City is plagued with crime and malice, rotting from its Core. My efforts to prevent Crime from the side of the Light have been in vain, Crime persists despite my efforts. In order for my vision to be fulfilled, the Criminals of this City must have their hearts pierced by Fear. Fear of Retribution. Fear of Consequences. Fear of Vengeance."
Thoughout bis Speech, the Shadowed Figure stayed silent.
"That is why I have called you here. I want you to stalk these streets, punish the criminals of this City and strike fear into their hearts from the shadows, so that they know to stay in the light. I don't want you to Kill them, never kill them. Let them live with that fear in their Hearts until their final days."
After he finished his speech, the Figure finally spoke.
"Your Quest is an Honorable one. You seek the betterment of your people's, and are unafraid to resort to drastic measures to achieve that goal. It reminds me of my Liege's resolve." It Spoke, it's voice low and rumbling. "Very Well. From this day forth, I shall protect your City from the Darkness in its own Heart. I shall be your Dark Knight."
...
Had this idea out of nowhere and needed to write it down. In this AU, Bruce still wants to protect his City from crime, but is understandably traumatized from seeing the Deaths of his Parents. He has a deep-seated fear of Dying, so he chooses to forgo fighting crime himself.
Instead, he finds out about a Spirit that his Ancestors helped long ago, and decides that the most logical next step out be to Summon a Demon to protect his City. Instead of training his Body for a decade to become Batman, he trains his Mind and Studies as much about Magic and Demon's as Possible.
He still knows how to fight because he trained with the League. He approached them with an offer to study the Lazarus Pits and give them his findings, and they accepted. But Ra's didn't want a weakling on his Base so he also required Bruce to train his body. He saw his potential for combat, and was so disappointed that Bruce had chosen a different path. He could have been Great!
Bruce still has a thing with Talia that produces Damian, he is still a point of interest from Ra's since he is insanely smart and has huge potential, and he knows how to fight pretty well. Albeit not as well as in Canon.
Bruce becomes the Benefactor/Guy in the Chair for Fright Knight (who is the one he summoned if you couldn't tell), who looks like a "Bat Man" because of Bruce's fear of Bats. Fright Knight agreed to this because 1.) He had a debt to pay, 2.) Bruce reminded him of Danny, and 3.) He respected Bruce's ballsyness to Summon a demon and command it to protect people.
Bruce still adopts his Kids, but there are some changes.
Dick is adamant about fighting Crime, and eventually Bruce is forced to let him go on patrol with Fright Knight, who has started going by Batman. Thankfully Frighty managed to give him some blessings so he had minor powers and would be safer.
Jason is mostly the same, and he is so excited that Robin actually IS Magical. When he dies, Fright Knight, who had gotten attached to their Family, goes into the Zone to search for him. He is unsuccessful unfortunately.
Tim is kind of funny. He figured out that Dick was Robin, and Jason was the 2nd Robi , but assumed that Bruce was Batman. When he approached Bruce about becoming Robin so he would stop going down his violent Cycle, Bruce Redirected him to talk to Fright Knight, who was not taking his failure to find Jason well.
Damien grew up knowing that his Father was a Genius, and the Master of the Batman, which gave him a bit of an Ego. At first he thought of Fright Knight as a Servant, and tried to command him like he did with Alfred. Frighty corrected him quickly enough.
Any more ideas for this AU? I have so many, but I think I need to stop for now.
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Fright Knight is Batman#Bruce Wayne is not Batman#8 yr old Bruce Wayne saw that his family had a Demon/Monster/God of Fear on a Debt and decided that it was a great idea to use it#Bruce is basically Fright Knight's Sugar Daddy#Since Fright Knight usually stays in the Cave and occasionally the Manor when it's not Nighttime#Bruce buys him things for no apparent reason#Bruce basically adopted Fright Knight into the Family#As a Brother not a Son#Just thinking of the shenanigans this could lead to#Steph gets up from a nap and opens her door only to see a Wave of Pure Shadows pour down the Hall being chased by a pissed off Alfred#“I don't care if you don't need to Eat! You are going to join us for Family Dinner and you will like it!”#Cass likes to hide in Frighty's shadows#He let's her#She's the favorite niece#I wonder how his interactions with the Justice League would go?#How would that even work actually?#Would Bruce just put on a costume and pretend to be him?#Or would they JLA have to deal with an Eldritch God of Fear sitting 2 seats down every time they want to have a Meeting
587 notes
·
View notes
Text
Re: MEMENTO MORI
a few weeks back i suddenly had a lil kick and remembered I haven't tried making something for Madness Day or really done Madness stuff for a long time even though i still love these violent jellybeans dearly and figured I could redo a concept I did for the last Madness Day i did something for back in 2021.
so naturally i left it until last night to actually do most of the drawing. Jeb, Hank and Tricky have all died a stupid amount of times.
#madness combat#madness day#madness day 2024#hank j wimbleton#tricky#tricky the clown#sanford#deimos#jebus#jebediah christoff#the auditor#>>mango(t)art#i am actually pleased how it came out and that i finished it but holy heck do these guys die a lot#i shouldn't have left jeb and tricky for last but at least hank was already done :'U#if krinkels uploads mc12 today or soon i am not gonna redo this for any new canon deaths lmaoo. but i will watch as usual of course.#honestly i like how tricky looks he looked even better before the GIF quality crush but i think that's my best tricky yet#you can sort of see the quality bump from the original hank ones as i used a brush to do the glitch effects instead of doing it by hand#i think the effect could be better but it turned out alright and if i had time to practice i'll get the transition animations even better#tw blood
580 notes
·
View notes
Text
Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
---------------
Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
421 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate him why is he like this (nobody also ask me the color of anything)
To Be Alone the song that you are, please never leave the setlist!!!
Hozier in Zurich 06/27/2024
Source: tiktok.com
#[pointing at hozier loudly] SLUT!!!#god i love this song so much Andrew buddy you gotta give us a live feral version on streaming platforms please#i am like a mouse begging for cheese but begging you for a live feral version of To Be Alone#🙏🧀#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#unreal unearth tour#to be alone#not faring well#i also cannot get over how the short break treated him so well#he sounds SO GOOD. like more than the usual#drop the tea recipe andrew
450 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am so normal
Update! Ive been updating their designs! See them (most of them) here!
Refs for the fem fortress designs I threw around in this post!! Because I am a big fan of woman and also a little bit insane abt this little idea
tldr for anyone who doesn’t want to check out the og post: I wanted to make a counterpart team to the og mercs that was all girls but also like. Vaguely genderbend-adjacent? Genderbending but cooler. Some of these characters resemble genderbends more than others but they’re all their own characters that exist somewhere within the universe (a couple are even canon characters because I think Zhanna Deserves a Gun!) why are they also a RED team? I don’t know! And I’m too tired to try and bullshit some canon-sounding excuse for it. The administrator wanted to fuck with the og mercs or smth for fun
I probably have more to say about them but I’ll save anyone reading this from what would probably end up being multiple paragraphs of personality and relationship descriptions ! Enjoy a bunch of women with traced weapons (bc you’re insane if you think I was gonna draw them freehanded)
#Tf2#fem fortress#I get to use their class tags. Once. As a treat.#tf2 soldier#tf2 scout#tf2 pyro#tf2 sniper#tf2 spy#tf2 medic#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#tf2 heavy#My art!!#I probably forgot to mention something in this post as usually goes when I decide to say fuck it and post at midnight#but#thumbs up!#Zhanna looks so badddd I’m so sorry girl I’ll figure out how to draw you one day#scout’s ma#tf2 zhanna#Ottos fem fortress#Tf2 ocs
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.
and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.
i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.
#as a trans man whose family still uses they/them and neutral terms for me and would describe me as nonbinary#because that was how i initially came out to them and me being a man is a much bigger hurdle than i have the energy to help them get over#it’s SO deeply disturbing to know that if my life ended in violence#my own community would be more concerned with how my family referred to me in death than with the fact that i was killed#how fucking dare you turn this poor child’s existence into discourse fodder when they aren’t even here to defend themselves#when you only even know who he is in the first place because he was killed#tw transphobic violence#nex benedict#tbh it feels wrong to even add my usual tags to this but i need people to see it so. here we go#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#exorsexism#trans men#transmascs
728 notes
·
View notes
Text
leona and her soon to be dead husband
before!!!!
#oc: leona#mysims#ts4 edit#ts4#simblr#the sims community#sims 4#i think if i knew how to edit hair id be unstoppable#leona's so hot it makes me SICKKKKKKK#CURRENTLY TEARING MY SKIN OFF#leona wearing black to her own wedding to represent the death of her life shes so dramatic i love her#leona's family forced her to marry salvatore who audra and her eventually kill and fuck like freaks while covered in his blood <3#they've never had control over their lives so them murdering salvatore was their first taste of having real power#their addiction for it started from there#murder wives i love you#enzo edit on the agenda next ENZO FANS RISE UP!!!!!!!!!!#i never usually post the before picture but i think the lighting is a little delicious#i made this photo so much harder to take i forgot relight existed and was using a lamp to try and get the right lighting </3
611 notes
·
View notes
Text
it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
348 notes
·
View notes
Text
So does he, Gallagher.
#honkai star rail#hsr blade#gallagher#i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU#and then blade constantly just being blade as usual#its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but#i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary#but the amount of times blade was the recipient......#i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just#get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better#so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle#funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still#but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me#so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ?#i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway#one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys#also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out#i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool#and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher#so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought#(no i am not but we can pretend)
772 notes
·
View notes
Text
How does your garden grow?
#terumob again in this blog... yeah#I'm pretty proud of how this piece turned out! I even made it a bigger size than usual#I like how the shading looks#there are so many confession arc references and I hope someone gets all of them#that one panel though (boy you're dying why are you looking at him like that. you have other worries)#anyway something I don't see many people using in their ???% designs in this arc is the fact his uniform would be a mess#he was just ran over! he was in a literal puddle of blood seconds before#thinking about it that would make him more horrifying to a common person#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 fanart#shigeo kageyama#teruki hanazawa#terumob#mp100 spoilers#lalarts
168 notes
·
View notes
Text
Origami jellyfish, one square sheet of elephant hide paper. Colors are inspired by Thysanostoma loriferum. Zoom in to see the glitter!
#mine#origami#jellyfish#that was what the hexagons were for did you guess ? :)#original model is by Beth Johnson and only the bell/umbrella is in one single sheet (hexagonal)#the tentacles are all added separately#I wanted to see if I could do it all with one sheet of paper so I used the exact same hexagon CP for the bell and simply placed it#at the center of a bigger square of paper#pretty glad of how it came out#tentacles would need some cleanup if I ever fold this again and I could workshop a frillier edge for the bell as well#still really nice this is the most elaborate modification of an existing model I've made#if you want to see the original model it's in origami aquarium by Makoto Yamaguchi p.200#it looks so cute... teensy jelly#I used elephant hide paper (my enemy) to use up this roll i've had#i thought it'd at least be nice to collapse the hexagon tessellation which it was but that's really the only nice part asdfgh#if I fold this again I'll use smth thinner so the tentacles aren't as bulky#and to hell with the cleanliness of the hexagons#honestly the paper tension works in your favor for thoses#they get tightened when you round out the umbrella instead of flattened out as I feared#so the elephant hide really isn't needed... as usual!#anyway enjoy :3
986 notes
·
View notes