#that’s kind of embarrassing oh well
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I WAS JUST SEARCHING FOR MORE THINGS ABOUT RIPPER THEN I SAW A FANART OF YOURS, I thought it was a respost but NO IT IS YOU😭😭
HELP MEE
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Hello! I’d love to request Mello as Willy Wonka for Halloween 🫶 thank you so much!!!
cursed with looking good in everything he wears 🍫 thank you for requesting!
#I'm not sure which version you preferred so this is kind of a mix of them using the parts I liked best for him lol#well mostly the color of the original and then the 2005 outfit bc I thought turning the W pin on his neck into an M would be cute hehe#death note#mello#mihael keehl#death note mello#mello death note#death note fanart#elle draws#halloween requests#embarrassed to admit it took me til I finished drawing mello to make the connection to chocolate... genuinely went OH CHOCOLATE! out loud#I added a chocolate bar so the audience sees I now understand the reference 🫡
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mclaren mewling pawing whining desperately into landos ear for twenty laps like pleaseee babe the undercut was a joke omfg only to be ghosted so hard they changed the tactic to ok im going to kill myself now ASIDE the real comedy has to be max verstappen approaching such a state of rage at perceived slights against him he ties his own neck in a noose and we witness the first instance of a world champion being discriminated against for being a gamer in live commentary
#f1#this isnt even to mention the final blow#of having nico rosberg conduct the post race interviews with such a shit eating grin it was actually visible despite him not being shown#meanwhile ferrari are high fiving and kissing with tongue over not causing an international embarrassment to the sport moment for once#alpine: wait u mean we dont have to do that#checo: normally i would be getting yelled at for forgetting to take the chicken out the freezer again right now#but my brother just drove the car into the front room of the house so everyones kind of pissed about that rn so oh well :)#f1s many rotten layers is the gift that keeps on giving and boy howdy do we be feasting tonight !
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Living with Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors
Me: *Is super stressed over life.*
Trichotillomania: Time to pull some hair! C'mon. You won't even notice you're doing it. It'll make you feel better.
Me: NO. *Spends 4 days putting hair in a mini twist protective style* There.
Dermatillomania: Hey. Your hands are free. And restless. And dry... Pick your skin. Bleed. Bleed.
Me: Stop! *Starts up a new crochet project to keep hands busy.* Ok cool.
Onychophagia: Hi hi. Your nails are.... perfect biting length... you should do that.
Me: Noooooooooooo *Paints nails.*
Dermatillomania: Oh look, you got some nail polish on your skin. Pick it off... now pick some more...
Me: SDJAKFDSJFKLDKAFDJKLAFJDKSAKLFDASL
#is this tmi? oh well. this is the tmi website#trichotillomania#dermatillomania#onychophagia#bfrb#body focused repetitive behavior#ocd#guys guess what? my therapist all but prescribed that i get a manicure to prevent picking at my skin#apparently after a year with this therapist i never mentioned my finger picking until this week#and she was like 'ok since you find it tough to paint them yourself get a manicure. self care and preventative'#because my cuticles are horrific due to me constantly picking at them and the sides of my fingers#so i've always been too embarrassed to go to a nail salon and my therapist was like 'exposure therapy!'#currently my nails are sloppily painted because i can't hold a brush still and they're already chipping after like 5 days#actually they probably started chipping on the second day honestly.#i need to redo my twists a bit which actually satisfies the trich urges since i'll be running my fingers through my hair to do it#but i won't actually be pulling. but also. i will be getting the shed hairs out. so. kind of fulfills that.#but right now my nails are long enough for me to feel them sometimes hit my keyboard. which. isn't normal for me.#and despite the nail polish i feel the urge to bite them shorter ahhhhh#anyway if you're Black with natural hair and have trich i HIGHLY suggest mini twists since it helps deter me from pulling#sure i have to redo it every few weeks but seriously. game changer. harder to find individual hairs to pull.
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my brain: hm so what if natori was at one of these exorcist auctions for whatever reason..............................................................
slightly more spicy (NOT nsfw) doodles under the cut
(smashing them together like dolls) KISS
#natsume yuujinchou#horrible exorcists#natori shuuichi#matoba seiji#this is. kind of embarrassing lol very self indulgent and not so much regard to characterization or realism#oh well lol
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sooooo humiliating when someone doesn't hard/softblock to break a mutual
#^ i literally have this request in my about page#and i hate vagueing but. omg. i'm embarrassed.#i also find this behavior kind of weird when they would obviously see u referring to them as a mutual as u rb and hype their work#under the assumption you're still friends??#like. i noticed they stopped interacting but i have nooooo idea how long this has been !!#i don't mind a block/softblock !! u could have spared me the shame !!#oh well :((#deleting my rbs of their ocs. taking my one note back. miranda cosgrove thank you.gif#anyways.txt#e: also i just remembered this is not the first time one of the two has done this to someone#but that time they were oddly mean while vagueing the person they unfollowed multiple times knowing they could see it all of it#vapid and strange !!
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The arranged marrige au looks very interesting 👀, may i ask for another part. Also i wanted to thank you so much for posting your work, without your work i'll be bored and sad they make my days better, also you write so good, you write Thena and Gil and their relationship so beautifully. 🤍
Thena sighed. There was just no way around this. She wished it hadn't come to this, but she didn't have another choice. With great reluctance, she cracked the door to the dressing room open. "Gil?"
Even with only one eye to peek at him, she could see him sitting on a chaise just outside her door. He was being reflected in the multiple mirrors lining the walls of the enclosed fitting area. She couldn't see his screen but she could tell he was doing something work related.
She cleared her throat and swallowed her pride, trying a little louder, "Gil!"
He blinked, immediately slipping his phone in his inside pocket. He put on the perfect smile as he looked up at her. "How's it feel, sweetheart?"
It was the finest material she'd ever put on her body, it felt like a dream. That wasn't the problem. "Gil, I can't wear this."
He looked appalled, basically pouting. "Why not?"
Thena rolled her eyes, opening the door just a little more. The dress was beautiful, and it fit her well. But that wasn't the point! "When I said I needed some things to wear, I meant something casual, for running errands, or seeing some friends."
"So?" he stood, grinning and oblivious. "This looks perfect on you!"
Thena huffed, pulling the door open completely and crossing her arms at him. "This dress is for formal events, and I think it costs more than a year of my old rent."
She could just tell he wanted to comment on the fact that she didn't have to worry about rent anymore, now did she? But he held his tongue in a rare moment of restraint. "Thena-"
"Gil," she relented. She knew he meant well--she meant for it to be a sweet gesture, and the fact that he was here instead of just sending a bodyguard with his wallet was testament enough that he was trying to sweet about it. "It's too much. I can't wear this."
He was still borderline pouting, holding her modest white peacoat under his arm with his hands in his pockets. "I got you other stuff like this and you didn't say anything."
She squirmed on the spot. "Well, I don't wear any of those things either."
Gil's jaw dropped.
She attempted to reason with him again, taking his hands in hers so he could really hear her (which he did better through the sensation of touch, for whatever reason). "Gil, I know it's just part of your lifestyle. But you've seen the clothes I brought with me--what I wear at home. I need...that. I need some normal clothes. I was just going to go myself when-"
"No." He was firm about that. He was very firm, actually; under no circumstances was she to go wandering around alone. Her first instinct was to act defensive about his need to keep an eye on her. But she couldn't act childish; his work was dangerous, and there was a reason he'd hired a car for them, had tinted windows, and never left her side this entire afternoon.
She gave his hands a squeeze, "please, Gil?"
He really did have a soft heart, and he wore it on his sleeve, completely out in the open. How did anyone take him seriously as a gangster when he was clearly just a big, soft teddy bear walking around in a pinstripe suit.
"Okay, sweetheart," he conceded to her, as he always did. He raised her hands to his lips. "Whatever you need--I promised that. You get changed and we'll find some things that suit your tastes."
"Sir, Madam, do you need any--oh!"
Thena drew her shoulders up. She had no reason to feel flustered, or embarrassed. Gil had thrown the doors open and asked that his 'wife' be assisted by their best and brightest. That was probably more embarrassing than them being seen by the staff holding hands in her changing room.
There was no need for her to blush.
"It's all right," Gil chuckled, letting her close the door to get changed again. She heard his shoes on the fancy marble floors as he walked back out into the store. "Everything's great, but I think we're going to try some other places."
"Very good, sir."
This was the most posh place she had ever come into. She did tell Gil she usually shopped off the rack sales for generic corporate casual clothes. If she weren't a mobster's wife, maybe she would even peruse the shops or malls like a normal person.
But she got changed and hung up the gown that was so expensive she was afraid to touch it. It was beautiful, and she had to admit that it had fit her like it was made for her. Gil had seen it on display and insisted she try it on.
He was right, it had been perfect for her, but that didn't make a good enough reason to buy a dress like that.
She exited the room, holding her purse and going to find Gil. This time last year, she never would have come into a store like this. She would sooner assume she would be laughed out of the shop all together.
"Yeah, someone will pick it up later."
"Gil?"
"Hey, princess," he turned, raising her hand and kissing it again. He released her coat and held it out for her to put on. "Ready to go?"
"I suppose so," she murmured, looking at the staff all waving goodbye to them. Maybe all fancy shops were like this, but she had a bad feeling about it. "What was that about?"
"Oh, I just told them that we'll definitely come again some time, we're just looking for a different vibe today."
He was lying. But Thena let him hold her hand as they exited the name brand store, massive and towering and shiny enough to reflect a blinding amount of sun this time of day. It was nice out, though. It was a large part of the reason she had proposed going shopping for herself.
And from the moment she mentioned it, everyone who worked with or for Gilgamesh in any way had panicked. Every time she wanted anything or wanted to go anywhere, it was a unanimous sentiment; the boss's wife could want for nothing. Either they had to handle it, or Gilgamesh would.
"You okay, Thena?"
She blinked, coming out of her thoughts. "Hm?"
Gil sighed; he almost looked contrite. "I know this probably isn't the kind of day out you're used to. But...I wish I didn't have to go this far. But if anything happened to you-"
A big, soft teddy bear, who liked to pretend he was all grizzly and growl-y. When, in actuality, he had the softest heart around. She slipped her hand into the bend of his elbow. "I know you're just trying to protect me, Gil. It's nice."
He wasn't entirely convinced. But they kept walking, taking their time moving away from the luxury branded buildings towards a more regular collection of shops. "I'll try to make arrangements so you can go out on your own--with security, obviously."
"Obviously," she humored him. She was walking arm and arm with her husband, but more than that, she had to admit it was nice to talk with someone like a friend.
"What else?"
"What?" she blinked, alarmed by the grave change in his tone.
"What else do you want to do?" he asked more gently, moving them off to the side. "I don't want to hold you back, Thena. If you want to explore this part of the city, see more of downtown, call up any old friends--anything."
She didn't have much in the way of 'old friends'. Dealing with her father was such a dominating and isolating aspect of her life. She was quite sure none of her old coworkers would even notice her absence. Even if that weren't the case, she wasn't exactly yearning to explore weekend markets or clubs, either.
"Unless it's an old flame," Gil added hastily, holding up his finger with a heavy gold ring on it. "Then maybe, but you have to say it's just as friends, because you're married now."
Oh, she certainly had no such thing. But she grinned at him, as he often did with her. "Oh, well, I didn't think my husband was the jealous type. What if I tell him we're married in name only? What if he offers to whisk me away from this life?"
She was laughing, but Gil had that look on his face whenever he was watching sports and the team he owned was losing. It wasn't murderous, but it was decidedly pissed off.
"He can offer." Maybe she had taken this joke too far. But Gil moved her hand so he could hold it again, locking their fingers together. "But I'm gonna introduce myself as your husband, so he knows what he's dealing with."
Even in this fictional, joke world, that would paint an intimidating picture. She leaned against him faintly--to calm his temper, she told herself. "Wasn't it part of my contract that I not be in any relationship?"
Gil looked away, pretending he was examining his suit. He could get somewhat sheepish from time to time, which she had to admit was quite adorable. "Our contract--and that doesn't mean you don't have some ex-boyfriend or something pining for you at this very moment."
She definitely had no such thing. And even if she did, it would be far from her mind as she leaned against her husband, their arms sealed together, his massive bicep against her slim one. She looked down at the strap of her purse, fiddling with its latch. "Well, I don't."
"Good."
"Good."
#Thenamesh Marriage Contract AU#that's so sweet!!!#thank you so much for all your support!#I'm so glad if I can make someone's day better#I love this au and I love that people are loving it#I really want a married/enemies to friends to lovers vibe#Gil walks straight into Tom Ford and YSL and says my wife requires assistance#Thena is here like oh my god you're so embarrassing I wanted to go to *insert a shop they have in America or the UK or Korea here*#but Gil is like obviously my wife will only have the finest things money can buy#Thena finds some normal clothes and says she'll try them on#he still waits outside and says everything look beautiful on her#which she tells him not to do#go find some jeans or something!#y'know those thick sweaters with the collar that zips only partway down the chest?#well this Gil decides that these are his comfy clothes#and dammit he looks really good in them#buys two in every colour because he's extra#of course he buys all Thena's stuff#she offers to buy it for herself attempts to insist even#but he says princess you're making me look bad what kind of husband doesn't treat his wife once in a while?#the girls at the register are drooooling#meanwhile Thena is like you little shit#how would they know he does this literally all the time?#so they walk out and he's got like two massive bags on one arm and a few smaller ones on the other#Thena tries to take the smaller ones to carry for herself#and then Gil pulls that move#he moves all the bags to one hand because he's strong#and holds Thena's hand instead#and then they're just two stubborn idiots in love having a glare-off#also of course he bought that fancy dress at the other store it was like it was made for her
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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i do believe it is time for another vaguely infamous wavernot4love show recap ...... idkhow impending gloom rochester, 11.16.24 edition (tour spoilers after the break thingy)!!!! one of my favorite visitations i've ever experienced methinks ..... finally gettin the chance to ramble 2 dallon after years ...... and successfully getting rid of most of my bracelets ..... oh my!!!! oh boy, this one is going to be lengthy because SO MUCH fun stuff happened, man. right then (note that i went in mostly blind this time which was certainly An Experience):
also!!!! in general!!!! as i mentioned up there visitation was easily a top 3... top 2???? visitation i have ever experienced (i told dallon this exact thing.... more on that later).
i'd hoped she'd play hot to go 😍
(but unironically, transition back into visitation goes crazy) ((i feel like the absolute lack of any form of Cinematography whatsoever in this goes to show how i was feeling here)
let me tell you, the MOMENT the oh my lord lord lords started i just had this Feeling it was gonna be one of those visitations (i recall turning 2 my cousin and this sentiment being echoed). and that it was ,,,,, the ol Split sure did happen directly next to us so we got 2 chill there goin yeedy yeedy heedy heedy with dallon and his megaphone. i could recite the entire visitation yodel segment in my sleep methinks. very fun stuff. peep me lookin 4 videos from the other side of the split on instagram ,,, also gotta say dallon's "ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between" will always make me giggle and kick my feet a bit (in a /j way). it's like the mormon tabernacle choir bit (which didn't happen this time, i honestly think this was the first non fest show i've seen where they didn't do a letter. not complaining as uhhh.... absence can in fact make the heart grow fonder n i know she'll be back someday)
is now the time to share that i only know the words to hot to go due to 1. this and 2. terrible influence toronto. the titronto singalong as i've seen it be called. i am about the same level of an up to date main pop girlie (gender neutral) as your grandpa. but i am glad 2 be adopted into the singalong by true main pop girlies (dan phil and dallon)
with that being said... SIXFT went too hard last night!!!! as always. but dallon's lil speech about us all focusing on the moment now because someday we'll all be six feet deep that went right into the tune..... oh yes what an intro.
i feel like earlier on, things REALLY started picking up/the crowd and everyone got into the swing of things with gloomtown brats. i always kinda take note of when everyone seems 2 loosen up near the beginning of a set and Yup . this one was it last night. blondie rapture-esque 80s rap bit you will always be so beloved. i remember when you were just a figment of dallon's imagination he talked about potentially wanting to do someday on twitter ,,,,
we finally got satanic panic oh yes. the minute dallon started talking about growing up in the 80s oh i knew where This was going. this is makin me wish i could post more than one video in here.
also speaking of, hearing kiss & tell live made me like her SO much more oh my. dallon crushes it in the chorus, something about it is very earwormy to me gotta say.
also..... ABSINTHE CAME BACK FROM THE GRAVE!!! mad iqs as well but i think absinthe had been... absent for longer. i will always think of the time i was goin nuts during her at this radio fest in 2019 and my phone sailed straight out of my pocket and across the crowd.
i fear i will Always enjoy dallon telling us under 25s to cover our ears and eyes for Adult Themes before what love. as someone who recalls when he did something of the sort for the debra cover circa 2019 i am glad i still fit into the age bracket 2 be patronized here.
opening band was gr8 as always, my favorite bit being the.... extended .... you may just like the.... segment. the parents, and especially boyfriends, sure did get shouted (called?) out. dallon (about said boyfriends getting dragged along): ....but you still gave us money! [crowd laughter] (back to singing) and that's what gives me.... a purpose ......
choke also hit extra last night. song goes HARD, i was desensitized for a while way back when it was constantly getting play on alt radio, but man, she is Not overrated,,,, appropriately rated, i think
no extra ending brobecks song but i am Not complaining. gr8 set, and hopefully someday bike ride will come back 2 me ......
also, i should mention that i Really enjoyed brasko's set. not inherently my kinda music per se, but the energy was off the charts. the dude had character, which i respected. get there early if you're going 2 any of these shows. also, opening band w/ alexsucks dude was sweet. the way i also have the "headlining band" segment memorized from the superet days ..... much like other Live Idkhow ™️ moments like the "i died in 1917" bit of visitation (which actually caught me off guard last night when it was changed to "i died in rochester new york" ...... damn poor visitation character. /hj) or the OH WHA OH OH OH in the second verse of clusterhug.
anyways, on to the post show Events .....
so long story short all the folks i knew @ the show wanted 2 leave (hence why i drove separate,, mwahaha), so the gang split up and i headed 2 the side of the building with the bus, where there were lots of people hanging around, and pretty much curled up borderline in the fetal position against the wall where i sat for a solid 45 minutes (it was cold and in the moment i did not quite have the energy 2 wander around starting conversations to trade etc)
due to said Cold, i pretty much set a time of 12:15 for when i'd leave if nothing had happened yet.... a couple times i contemplated going since i was straight up shivering but Something made me stay and man am i so glad i did!!!!
i remember watching that clock tick qusstioning how much longer i could go, and then right about 12:15 (maybe a minute or two after), a crew member came out and told us dallon was coming out to meet us, he was just on vocal rest but could sign/take pics etc!
so naturally wavernot4love was Back in business and i jumped 2 my feet and instantly was energized enough to chat some folks up and get rid of a good chunk of my bracelets (!)
sadly i somehow didn't think 2 bring a cd or anything so i had Nothing to get signed (oh my) but man, that didn't matter. i was just so stoked to finally meet dallon after years of going 2 shows/trying to!
anyways, homie came out and when he got to me he like. waved dbdbdh our whole "conversation" was quite funny considering the ways dallon improvised to get around not being able to talk.
i was basically like "hello! i know you can't talk so i am just.... gonna ramble 2 you for a minute!"
and that i sure did. essentially i went on a quick minuteish long recap of the Lore ,,,,
i remember i started by just saying how much the shows/music have meant to me over the years, and dallon did a thank you in sign language to me (like, the motion with your palm facing your chin that kinda looks like a backwardsish wave) which he did probably a dozen times later (it was really sweet honestly) and bringing up that this was my ninth time seeing them which made one of the ppl i was trading w exclaim like, "wow!" or something along those lines (hghfhfh i got vaguely embarrassed then, the way whenever i am meeting band folks i just completely go in our lil Bubble internally and forget other folks are. Right There), and dallon like. put his hand by his heart and then put his hand out like, wanting me to shake it and i think he seemed like he wanted me to introduce myself so i quickly said ya know that i am nat or natalie whatever you want 2 call me,,,, while we were shaking idk dawg it was goofy.
anyways, i babbled about how i'd been a fan of idkhow/the brobecks' music forever, and that i first saw them like, down the street basically at a venue called anthology on the waterparks tour way back and since had seen them all over rochester, syracuse, and buffalo, and how i was so glad they/he keeps coming back and how nice it's been to not have to travel outside of the area for any of my shows!!! i just went on about how much i love the shows and how much i especially loved visitation, and he kept doing the thank you thing (he did that about as much as i called him "dude," something i tend to do in Band Folk conversation when i'm meeting someone for the first time and am vaguely nervous (god it's like my literal embodiment of the "sorry i say shawty when i'm nervous" meme).
when he could tell my story was pretty much. you know. ending he made like. a lil camera taking a picture motion with his hands with like. a question mark in there somehow fbfbfh which was really convenient actually because i always feel awkward asking. anyways, i was like hell yeah let's go and then i did my goofy thing i always do for pictures where i remember i don't like how my glasses glare or whatever for pics so i panic and am like "actually wait!" while i randomly chuck them someplace out of the picture for the moment. i may have mildly scared dallon here i'll be honest. but also kinda amused him who knows, we all have our quirks
anyways, we took a few pics and i basically said great show man thanks and see you at the next show! and he i think waved or something along those lines and we went our separate ways!!
i did make a lil post right after this happened last night here but here's the pic again!!! hooray!!!!
i do think it is safe to say i finally broke the wavernot4love x water street music hall curse (the other three shows i'd been to there, not idkhow, were not really the greatest experiences). it is lookin good 4 the future!!!!
anyways, GREAT great show as always and man i'm so glad me and dallon could finally meet!!!!
#wavernot4love gets 2 the gig#idkhowposting#idkhow#impending gloom tour#i dont know how but they found me#dallon weekes#also a couple hours ago i woke up and in the midst of my entirely foggy state#was partially convinced i had dreamt last night's Events and today was actually show day#oh dear#also was vaguely embarrassed for a bit about how much i rambled 2 dallon and my many “dude”s etc but you know what he seemed 2 appreciate i#and also the first time me n frank met it went something like that#and that sure wound up going well so !!!!!#perhaps next time#following my history here#the next dallon x wavernot4love meetup i will be even Chiller now that we've already met so i'll be less nervous#that sounds about right i think#anyways yippee great show kind dude#side note i also saw idkhow on november 16th in '21#i KNEW that date rang a bell for a reason#that is. very random actually
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i think i'm finally gonna read house of leaves wish me luck
#i've been meaning to read this book for like 5+ years lol#i think i'm finally ready to commit to it and also i just bit the bullet and bought a copy#because i know myself enough to know that i will not finish it if i get it from the library#and also they didn’t have the gravity falls book at the bookstore hahaha they said they’ve sold out of it twice#so. oh well. house of leaves time first#also i think i'm gonna finish fma brotherhood without my friend who wanted to watch it in the first place#out of spite because he's still being a little bitch#hope he doesn't change his mind! or feel butt hurt when i don't want to watch shit with him anymore#i think after all this i'm not gonna watch any longer series with him anymore#movies only. low commitment only. so he can't bail on me just on a whim#i'm enjoying fma a lot though!! these boys are the exact type of characters i get attached to lol#i like the alchemy shit also and the humor/drama balance#and the character design and the world building and the Lore#i was kind of on a movie kick again earlier this month but i just don’t have a lot of time for it rn#or the attention span. to be so honest#kind of embarrassing but i’m so mentally exhausted and i’ve been splitting my attention between a lot of different things lately#i was on such a reading kick this summer too!! hopefully house of leaves will replenish my energy for reading#i also got a sci-fi novel a nonfiction book and a folklore collection so i have plenty of new material rn#and i found another book that i want to reread soon#winter is gonna be a big reading time i am committing to that!!#anyway. that’s that
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Several months late, the landlord finally picked up the dehumidifier from my kitchen
Would've been nice had I been told they were coming though 💀 so I could've cleaned up the grocery bags on the floor that I hadn't put away yet 💀💀💀💀💀
#speculation nation#at least i did do the dishes yesterday so the kitchen is in much better shape than it was before. still not great though.#i wonder if i could put in a complaint lol. like Please dont enter my unit unannounced 😭 that's a violation im pretty sure 😭😭😭#actually i might call them. like Hey. can you guys um..not lol#well. the office is closed now so i cant call them. but i wonder if i should email.#i also wonder if it's even worth the fuss. like if they dont bother me about the state of my apartment then like oh well ykno?#except i very much did have a hospital bank statement out in full view which is kinda personal information lol. lmao even.#... actually yknow what i think i will email. bc like. even if they dont complain. it's kind of embarrassing lol.#had i known they were coming i wouldve done that little bit more before leaving. and i shouldve had the option.#this certainly wasnt an emergency. i should have gotten notice. they conducted a violation of tenants rights.#and YEAH ok people might say i should just keep my apartment clean always regardless of if someone is coming.#and while thatd be nice. get this. im a full time student with adhd and ive been having a HELL of a time lately.#so no i hadnt fully put away my groceries. and i left some empty bags on the floor. bc i didnt think itd matter.#so Yeah im going to email them with a friendly 'hey next time could you guys pls give me 24 hour notice? like it says in the law? thanks :)
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Spent the whole day packing with the help of my best friend, i am so exhausted and we got half my room in boxes but im really proud (and excited and sad and scared) its so surreal that this really happening!!
#like ive been procrastinating packing for so long now because fear and executive dysfunction combined is the worst#so i asked amber to help me (because theyre the best and sweetest and dont judge me for my mess and all that)#also i probably really needed the deadline tbh#im so exhausted and *hit me baby voice* my lower back is killing mee#had to stop for now because i just am at my limit enrrgy-wise#now im gonna take a shower and then nap#oh man my friend is so kind and powerful and i never couldve done it without them!!!!#(well see how ill manage the rest over the next week 🙈)#but god this was so hard and embarrassing and i kept repeating 'i hate my stupid baka life' and that helped a bit tbh#my room looks so weird now with the empty walls and shit#i hate it#change sucks and im afraid#anyway enough whining ill go have that shower now#mine
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Was tagged by @illusivesoul Thanks, this is fun! :D
I'll tag @the-sera, @shadoedseptmbr, @misseffect and @lvlbeginner if any of you feel like it!
Make a poll of your favourite female characters ( no limits - as many or as little as you want ) and see which your followers like the most !
#eh. i can see a trend on the kind of women i like#how embarrassing#oh well hahaha#OH SHIT i forgot the CR ladies#well. Beauregard is my favourite just so you know
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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art summary for this year o7 (template from here!!)
#duck rants about something#i havent drawn too much this year overall tbh hard enough rounding these up wkjwjkjksdghsd#though again i have . drawn mdyz an embarrassing amount dont look at me#sure have been having a kick w pink lately huh#didnt rly improve much and its kind of bumming me out but oh well guess ill just have to keep going next year then#just had the worst week of my life these past five days also my eyes r still a bit swollen and red but well. this too shall pass
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:(
#I’m kinda embarrassed#I feel like I’m shadow banned or something#makes me feel like a loser#but if not that means I’m just not getting a lot of interaction with moots which makes me kind of sad#I feel like I shouldn’t care but if I’m just posting to the void with no one to validate me then it makes me kind of sad#but idk#does that make me a loser? yeaaaa#maybe a lot of ppl haven’t been on tumblr the last couple of days#but oh well
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