#that’s entirely Gouge’s job
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moonfurthetemmie · 1 year ago
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Will the horror squad like torture(?) person w like some sort of mental disorder ( like for example eating disorders, depression and etc.) ALSO TAT COUNTS PHOBIAS ( not the basic one like scared of death, heights, bugs but more srs ones ( aka maybe through trauma like Byte's phobia ))
I HOPE U UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEANT😭
Not sure what all you’re getting at beyond “do they torture people”, but nope. They don’t torture people
That’s Gouge’s thing. The horror squad just does murder and death mazes
IF someone pisses them off, they will probably make them go through the maze and close the exit, and make their death a extra painful, but they don’t do torture
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transmutationisms · 2 months ago
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i'm worried that palestinian fundraisers have been slowing dramatically the past few weeks because people think their goal numbers are 'a lot of money', and ignore them.
so, as the one-year mark of this ongoing genocide approaches, i'd ask you to think seriously about how much money it costs just to keep yourself alive for an entire year. $15,000? $10,000? could you live off just $5,000? for a whole year?
since losing his job and his house to the israeli bombing, mohammed iwais has been supporting his 27-person family on gofundme donations equivalent in total to about $50k USD, or roughly $1,852 per person.
i am asking you to think about the reality of what this means for a family undergoing repeated displacements, bullet wounds, other medical emergencies, and now homelessness—in an occupied country that is being brutally price-gouged and cut off from even basic humanitarian aid by military border blockades.
mohammed's fundraising goal has not yet been met, and he's going to update his gfm page to reflect that as soon as he gets a stable internet connection. until then, there's really only one question.
could you live off what the iwais family has raised so far?
verified / donate
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msgexymunson · 8 months ago
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The Ink Shop
Description: Desperate for a job, you answer an advertisement not knowing it's a tattoo shop. It's not particularly difficult work, except for one thing: having to deal with Eddie Munson. 
Warnings: NSFW, minors DNI or I'll tell your parents, fem reader, thick sexual tension, angst and smut. Fingering. 
A/N: I finally wrote it! The teach me fic I've been day dreaming about forever. This will be part one of three, and honestly this is one of the hottest things I've written. If you enjoy it, please comment and reblog, it means the world to me. 
8k words
Masterlist Part 2
Screwing your nose up in confusion, you look at the meticulously cut snippet of newspaper neatly attached to your resume with a paperclip. Sure enough, receptionist and administrator wanted for a place called ‘The Ink Shop’. 
The outside of the building looks a little bleak, all decked out in black with frosted windows, but the fading lettering above does indeed spell out ‘The Ink Shop’. 
Weird. This does not look like a printers. 
You smooth down a minor wrinkle in your white shirt and open the door with unsure hands, the bell above ringing out loudly. 
Oh. 
This is not a printers. This is a tattoo shop. 
The thought hadn't even crossed your mind. The noise is a cacophony of buzzing, rock music and loud conversation. Art hangs on every available wall, the wallpaper underneath a royal purple, faded over time. There's frames upon frames of predesigned pieces for people to choose from, and an enormous wooden counter, black and gouged with use, directly in front of the doors. 
Taking a confidence boosting breath you march forward, pencil skirt stretching and heels clicking on the black and white linoleum, and stand by the counter. No one seems to have noticed your arrival, and a polite cough is not going to cut it. 
“Hello?” Calling out to the shop, a devilishly handsome tattooed man in a ripped band shirt, black jeans and scuffed army boots turns his head. Loose dark curls escape a low bun and swivel with him, framing his animated face. He saunters over to the counter and towers over you, giving you an appraising look. 
“You old enough to be in here sweetheart?” He asks, amused, as he points to the sign on the wall that states ‘Strictly Over 21s, no exceptions’. 
“Yes?” You're trying to be confident but it comes out as a question, entirely taken aback by the strength of his stare. 
“Oh, well then I'm Eddie,” he holds out a hand and you're forced to reach up to shake it, but to your surprise he doesn't let go. The skin is rougher than you thought it would be, and absolutely covered in small tattoos. “What is it today? Let me guess, cover up an ex boyfriend's name? I can help you forget all about him.” 
The grin he shoots back is nothing short of predatory. All you can think of is that old childhood song, never smile at a crocodile…
“No, no, I'm here about the job?” 
He looks genuinely surprised, taking in your outfit in another flagrant stare. 
“Really? You?” 
“Yes, me.” You respond, cheeks flushing in annoyance. 
“Hey, Mac!” He calls over his shoulder and a big guy with a shaved head lowers his tattoo gun, glancing over at you both. “This girl's after a job?” 
Mac stands up slowly and begins to walk over. 
“You can let go now princess.” 
Staring at Eddie dumbfoundedly, you realise his grip on your hand has softened completely. Whipping your hand away, you flash him a defiant eye. It's ineffective; he merely grins wider and winks at you, poking his tongue out playfully. You see a hint of silver, a tongue piercing. 
“Hey there, I'm Mac, the owner.” another handshake, but gentler and brief. You introduce yourself and go to hand him your resume. 
A phone rings on the counter and Mac shouts “no!” just as Eddie picks it up. 
“Mac’s Roadkill Café, from your grill to ours.” Eddie delivers the line as smooth as silk, never taking his eyes off you. “Yeah, it's Eddie, of course. Oh, I'll tell him. Thanks.” 
As Eddie turns to Mac he's given a small but effective slap to the back of the head by Mac. 
“What did I tell you, stop answering like that!” 
Eddie just grins wider and looks at you again, a fake pout on his full lips. 
“You see that? Harassment in the workplace. Wanna kiss it better?” 
Mac shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, then turns to face you again. 
“Are you immediate start?” 
“Er, yeah. I've got my resume, and references here-” 
“Listen Miss, if you can read and write, answer a phone, and put up with that-” he says, gesturing a thumb at Eddie, “then you've got the job.” 
Thank God, two of those references were your best friend with different names. Stunned, you just nod fast.
“Great. Tomorrow morning. We open at 10am.” 
Saying goodbye, you turn to exit, and risk one final glance over your shoulder. Eddie's still at the counter. A disarming wink, and then the door shuts behind you. 
********************
So, not exactly what you expected, but a job's a job. After getting a degree, you'd assumed doors would open, but a string of coffee houses later and here you are. You'll take it. 
It's 9:30 am, and you stand outside, wondering whether or not to try the door. Keen, but not too keen. It's a line you're trying to toe without much experience, especially with an establishment like this. 
A pretty woman with an undercut and a butterfly neck tattoo stirs you out of your calculations. 
“Hey, I'm Chloe. You're the new girl, right? Eddie bet you'd be early.” 
Blushing at the entirely accurate first impression, you try to stop your nose scrunching in distaste. As if reading your mind, Chloe chuckles.
“Ah, don't worry about him, he's an idiot. Come on, I'll show you the ropes.” 
Chloe is the piercer that basically rents a place in the shop, where she's been for around three years, she explains. There's also Julio, who does more realistic tattoo work, and Miranda who works part time. 
Chloe turns out to be warm and welcoming, showing you how they book clients in, how to take payments, and the phone note system. It's straightforward work, stuff you'll master in no time. In fact, you feel comfortable enough by 10 am to sit at the counter on your own.
Mac arrives on time, giving you a quick check in and taking down all your information on a yellow legal pad. 
“Do you not have a computer in here?” you ask, genuinely puzzled. 
“Oh no, not yet. I don't know how to work those things, Miss.” Mac chuckles, and gets to his station to prepare for his first client.
At 10:45 am Eddie walks through the door as if he owns the place. 
Your eyes widen at his brazen lateness, but no one seems to bat an eyelid. It boils your blood; to be that disrespectful and clearly not care. How could someone act like that? 
“Hey princess, didn't think you'd come back,” he smiles, reaching for your hand. 
Oh I'm not falling for that again. 
You pull your hand into your lap, expecting trickery from him. A smug grin smears across his face at the gesture, as if he knew you'd do that. It makes you even more annoyed. 
“Eddie, the book says you start,” you say, flicking through the tome in front of you, “ah, at 10 am today.” 
“It's walk-in Wednesday sweetheart. There's no one here.” 
He's got a point. Chloe had explained the tattoo artists work a shift of Wednesdays, someone is always available for walk-ins for small and pre designed pieces. Today is Eddie's turn, and he's right, no one is here. 
“Well, there could have been,” you snark back, folding your arms. 
He crosses into the shop, pushing the little gate open and stands next to you, arms crossed. The height you had is now lost, forcing you to look up at him. 
“As far as I know, you ain't the boss of me. I suggest taking the stick out of your ass before you come here.” 
Mouth falling open in outrage, you move to reply but he's already turned away. 
“Oh, and princess, there ain't a dress code.” 
He's gone, disappearing upstairs. Blushing crimson, you cross your arms as if you can hide the conservative outfit you're wearing. 
You're beginning to see why Mac asked if you could put up with Eddie. 
********************
Halfway through the day, you realise just why Mac puts up with Eddie. 
“Hey! Seeing if I can book with Eddie?” 
“Any appointments with Eddie?” 
“Just checking to see if Eddie had any cancellations?” 
It seems most calls are about him. As you check his schedule, it's not only fully booked for the next 6 months, they've even started a waiting list at the back. 
“Any walk-ins?”
The words next to your ear make you jump bodily, almost losing your place on your chair in alarm. 
“You scared me! No, I would have said,” turning to him, you're sucked into those deep brown eyes once again. “Why do you do walk-in Wednesdays if you're so… so popular?” 
Eddie flashes a smile at you, full of self importance. “I don't know sweetheart, Van Gogh wasn't made to doodle!” Shouting the last part at the back of Mac's head, he turns to you. “We just divided the shifts, so it was fair, that's all. Why, want a tattoo?” 
You roll your eyes. “No, I was just wondering.”
“Do you have any, princess?” 
“Not that it's any of your business, but no, I don't.” 
The laugh that rips from Eddie's chest is hearty and full of amusement. 
“You work in a tattoo shop and you don't have any? That's practically blasphemy!” 
The little bell above the door rings, and a nervous guy looks around before walking in. Before you see what he wants, you shout to Eddie's retreating back. 
“Van Gogh was only famous after he died, you know!” 
It's a little later on in the day; you've done a stock take, ordered more ink, and neatened up the consent sheets three times. The phone hasn't rung in a while, and you're bored out of your mind. 
Chloe walks over, coat in her hand. 
“Hey, how you getting on?” 
“I'm good, just bored.” 
She laughs, “it's not always this quiet, mid week and all. Mac's done for the day, and I'm heading off. You gonna be OK?” 
You glance over to Eddie, who to your surprise is tattooing his own fingers. 
“What, with the untrained monkey? I'll live.” 
She laughs harder at that, “he's not so bad, once you get to know him.” Lowering her voice, she whispers, “he's good at some things, you know.” The conspiratorial wink fills in what she isn't saying. Cheeks flushed, you gawp at Eddie and back at Chloe. 
“Huh? W-what, are you like, an item?” You ask, entirely thrown. 
“Oh no, he's not exactly boyfriend material. It was just one night, but bloody hell. Anyway, it's not like that anymore, we're just friends now. Maybe you two should just, you know.” 
A blush floods your face, almost reaching the roots of your hair. “I don't- I don't, do that.” 
“I'm just saying, it's an option. It'd stop the bickering at least. I can sense the tension from all the way over there.” 
Without a further word, she leaves you sitting on your stool, trying to remember how to breathe. 
Right, let's just play nice. 
Walking over to his station, you try to glimpse what he's tattooing. 
“I thought Van Gogh wasn't made to doodle” you quip, trying to keep it light. 
“This is different” he responds, not looking up at you.
“You know, that's a waste of a needle.” 
Eddie turns the machine off and rolls his eyes at you. 
“Who made you Princess of the Needles, hmmm?” 
“Mac did actually, when he asked me to check the stock,” you reply hotly, folding your arms. Stopping for a second, you take a breath. Play nice, you're supposed to be playing nice. 
“Sorry, I didn't mean to-” 
Eddie turns the machine back on and continues with his impromptu tattoo. 
“Can't you just be… professional?” You ask over the buzzing. 
“Can't you just relax for a second? No ones here. Fuck, you need to get laid.” 
Mouth dropping open in shock, you grab your bag and stomp out of the store, anger fuelling every step. 
********************
Right, be calm, put together. You've dealt with worse people. 
It's true. At the coffee shop you had on edge caffeine addicts shout in your face almost on a daily basis, but none of them got under your skin like Eddie did. Then again, none of them had spat truths like venom in your face.
Breathe. Just breathe. 
Taking the leap, you walk into the shop, coffees and a tray of donuts in hand; a small peace offering. To your surprise, he is already at his station, sorting through ink pots. 
You make quick work of handing out coffee and donuts to everyone, until you reach his side. There's plastic wrap around one of his fingers, you assume from his little tattoo session yesterday. It only serves to remind you of how tetchy you were. 
“Morning Eddie.” 
“So you came back. Tough little princess ain't ya? Remove the stick from your ass yet?” The grin he flashes you is wide but there's a bite to his words. 
He's trying to rile you up, but you ignore it, thrusting a coffee at him. 
“I'll be nice if you will.” 
Tension laces the air as he stares at your outstretched hand, but he takes the coffee. 
“I'm sorry Eddie.” 
Opening the box of donuts, you gesture for him to take one. He does, stuffing half of it into his mouth. 
“What about you?” you ask.
“Huh?” He mumbles through a mouthful of crumbs. 
“Are you sorry…?” 
“What for?” 
Setting your jaw, your hand is about two seconds from slapping the shit out of him, but you need the money. So, you huff and walk away. 
“What did I do?” He huffs, shouting it to the shop. 
“You should just say sorry, you've clearly upset her.” Chloe calls over to him, a slight smile on her face. 
“Yeah, how do you know?” 
“You upset everyone Eddie.” She laughs, and stands to greet her first client. 
It's a tense kind of day, with neither you nor Eddie backing down, only speaking to each other if absolutely necessary. By the time everyone's left it's just you and him again. 
He's finishing up with a client, telling them about aftercare as they gush about their new ink. It's difficult to deny, the guy is talented. This phoenix tattoo looks like it's popping right off of the skin, the flames so bright and detailed you could swear you saw them move. 
Once they've left, there's an awkward pause. Eddie breaks the silence first. 
“Listen, I'm sorry sweetheart. I shouldn't have been rude to you. So I'll make you a deal. I'll give you a tattoo, for free, and we ask each other questions, get to know each other. What do you say?” 
Smiling in spite of yourself, you turn to face him. “And why would I want a tattoo?” 
He visibly relaxes at your grin, and flashes one of his own. “Come on, I'm the best. I promise I'll be gentle.” 
“We close at six, so it'll have to wait.” 
Eddie looks at the clock, and bobs his head with each tick. Twenty seconds later he turns to you, eyebrows raised.
“Fine, I suppose it is a bit silly to work in a tattoo shop with no ink.” 
He punches the air with glee, forcing you to smile despite your better judgement. 
“Well then, what are you thinking, got any ideas in mind?” 
“I want a heart on my hip” he groans, putting his face in his hands, “hang on, before you judge, I want one like this.” 
Pulling a book from your bag, you turn to the page neatly bookmarked. It's an anatomical heart from a textbook you own, a line and dot drawing.
“Oh.” Eddie's eyes light up, “that's pretty metal, actually. So, you just happen to have this on you?” 
“No, I've been thinking about it for a while. It's… not what people would expect. And when I got the job here, I was working up the courage to get it. Carrying around the book was a promise to myself, I think.” 
He busies himself with getting a stencil ready, the drawing supplied speeding up the process. 
“Right, climb on up princess, show me where you want it.”
Blushing, you unzip your skirt at the back and roll it down slightly, shifting your blouse up high. The smile Eddie gives you is salacious, but he doesn't say a word. 
“Right here?” Softly his fingertips graze you, making you jump. That simple act crackles over your skin in an electricity unknown to you. 
“Y-yes,” you practically whisper it, face crimson. 
“So, questions. Can I go first?” 
“Sure” you nod, feeling vulnerable flashing this much skin. 
“OK,” he starts, pressing the stencil down, “I'll start with an easy one. How old are you?” 
“23.” 
He nods, prepping the needle, “your turn princess.” 
“How old are you?” 
“Ah, copycat,” he grins, testing the gun, the sudden noise making you jump, “I'm 30 sweetheart. I know, I look younger.” 
Act younger is more like it. 
“I'm gonna start, you still alright?” 
“Uh huh.” 
“Atta girl. It'll feel like a scratch.” 
He leans forward as his words burn your insides. Atta girl? Part of you wanted to tell him you're not a fucking horse, but another, deeper, part keens at the praise, kicking it's feet and twirling its hair like some dizzy schoolgirl.
The needle touches and you jump, but it's fine. It's easy. If anything, it's rather nice? You gasp at the feeling, your feet wiggling. 
“Right, next question. Why here, why this job?” 
The gun is moving across your skin, consuming all rational thought. You could lie, but a part of you feels like he'd know somehow. 
“I thought it was a printers shop, or a copy place.” 
He laughs briefly, but continues to focus on your new ink. 
“I knew it. Pretty, innocent thing like you, wandering into this den of depravity? Too good to be true.” 
Glazing over his comment, you think of a question to ask. 
“How did you start working here?” 
Eddie scoffs and turns off his machine for a moment, “you need to get creative, stop using my questions.” 
“I really want to know!” You say, meeting his derisory look. 
“Fine, quid pro quo and all that shit. Been here seven years. I begged. I begged Mac for an apprenticeship everyday for a week. He gave in, and here I am. Ask something else, that was boring.” 
You wrack your brains, trying to think of something original, far too aware of the steadying hand that he's pushing onto your abdomen. 
“What band is that?” 
It's the only thing that pops into your mind. He follows your eye line to his t-shirt. 
“Oh this? This is my band, Corroded Coffin. You should come see us sometime.” 
“Oh, what do you play?” 
His face lights up, “I sing, and play guitar. That's why my fingers are so rough-” he holds one up, covered in black latex, “-oh yeah, gloves.” 
After you both share a chuckle, there's a breath of quiet between you, except for the sound of the tattoo gun.
“My turn,” he says, smiling at your hip, “I gotta know, are you a virgin?” 
It's a miracle that he's as responsive as he is, since the question knocks you sideways. You sit up in shock, but he's already moved the needle off and away. 
“You can't just ask that, it's… it's rude!” you splutter, face glowing red. 
There's no trace of apology on his face. In fact, his grin only widens with your reply. 
“I thought so. Don't worry, I'm not gonna tease you about it.” 
Laying back down, you try to think of something to say, but it just doesn't arrive. He can read you like an open book and it's deeply unsettling, not to mention embarrassing. 
“Your turn princess.” 
“I don't want to play anymore.” 
“Oh come on, I'm being nice! Ask me something.” 
“Fine. What was your last wet dream about?” 
To your dismay, he smiles yet again.
“You, sweetheart.” 
Huffing, you cross your arms in annoyance. “Fine, don't answer.” 
He's focusing on your tattoo, tongue poking out in concentration, “I'm nearly done, then you can go back to hating me.” 
“I don't hate you. I've never hated anyone,” you respond in truth. Eddie's eyebrows raise, but he remains focused. 
“Really? You must have had a much better childhood than mine.”
It's quiet for a bit. You're not sure how to respond to that, feeling the cloud of his memory hanging thickly in the air between you. 
“All done.” 
“Huh?” 
He chuckles and points at your new ink, “take a look.” 
It's beautiful. All line and dot work, like it was pulled from the book itself and glued to your hip. 
“It's amazing Eddie. Thank you.” 
The grin he shoots you is warm as he wraps your new ink and then removes his gloves. “No problem. I'll lock up, the sheets on aftercare are right there. But you knew that.” 
Smiling affectionately, you take one and stand up, hovering for a second. 
“Eddie what do I owe-” 
“-not a damn thing. See you in the morning, princess.”
********************
The next few days were much more pleasant. Eddie was flirty, yes, but he seemed to understand when to stop. You had been nicer to him, biting back on the comments when you could. There was a rhythm to it, a constant dance of him flustering you and you annoying him. 
Things really felt like they were falling into place. Until Eddie decided to cross the line. 
Walk in Wednesday again, and the shop was dead. Julio was on shift, sitting in the back having a nap. 
“Hey Mac, can I ask you something?” 
“Sure, what is it Miss?” 
“Well, how do people know about our Wednesdays?” 
“Mostly word of mouth. We handed out flyers before, but it didn't really pick up. Honestly, I'm thinking of scrapping it.” He shrugs, taking a sip of coffee. 
“Before you do, I have an idea. I can design some flyers, get them out to the coffee shop I used to work at. It's by campus, I'm sure a few students would jump at the chance. You could offer a student discount, get them in the door?” You stare at him wide eyed, hoping he likes the idea. The little speech was one you'd practised about fourteen times before actually saying it to him. 
He stares at you for a moment, then smiles. “You know, that's a good idea. I like it. Tell you what, you make it a success and I'll give you a raise.” 
“Oh, thank you! I'll get on it.” You beam, and start planning the flyer. 
Ten minutes later you have your head down, your attention entirely on the paper in front of you. The noisy shop was purely a background soundtrack, including the approaching footsteps. Then, there's a whisper, directly in your ear. 
“What you up to, princess?” 
“Fuck!” 
You scream it out and jump so high you fall off your stool. Eddie's in bits, laughing so hard he's clutching his stomach. 
“I'm sorry I didn't mean to,” he says, looking the least sorry you've ever seen a person look. 
Clambering off the floor to berate him, your mouth flops open when you hear a rip. As you desperately turn your head to look down, you see where your pencil skirt has torn right next to the seam nearly up to your ass. 
“Fuck's sake Eddie! What the hell am I gonna do!” 
Hands shaking, you clench your jaw in panic, trying to frantically come up with a way to rectify it. Eddie holds his hands up to you as if he were approaching a wild animal. 
“Just calm down princess, it's only a skirt.” 
Pouting, you hit him on the arm. 
“It's not just a skirt! I can't work like this, how can I go home and change, I won't be able to fix it and-” 
Eddie smiles and holds one of your hands. 
“It's gonna be OK, we can sort something out. You seriously need to chill, have a big O or something.” He chuckles, clearly meaning for it to be a joke, but it's hitting too close to home. 
It's never happened for you. You've kissed guys, sure, but whenever they reach into your pants, it's either uncomfortable or downright painful. Even your own desperate fumblings haven't got you there. Most of the time you just feel stupid and awkward trying to touch yourself. So, you'd given up, thinking you're broken. That it'll never happen for you. 
Tears well immediately in your eyes. He knows he fucked up, it's written all over his face. As he opens his mouth to speak you rip your hand from his grasp and run to the restroom sobbing. 
It's stupid, it's so stupid. You know that, but the tears won't stop falling, face hot and scrunched as you sit on the closed toilet seat with your head in your hands. Your breath is heavy, gulping and wet; you dimly wonder if you can just stay here until the shop closes.
There's a gentle knock on the door. 
“Sweetheart, can I come in?” It's Eddie, voice softer than you've ever heard it. 
“Go away” you manage. It's shaky and pathetic sounding, but it's out there. 
“I'm not going anywhere. Talk to me, you'll feel better, I promise.” 
He tries the door, turning the handle before you get a chance to lock it. Jumping upright, you go to push him away but he grabs your wrist and pulls you into him. His embrace takes away that edge and pretty soon you're just sobbing into his chest. 
As he strokes the back of your head, he makes shushing noises, his other arm wrapped tight around your shoulders. You're not sure how long you stay like that, in the warmth of his hold, his body pressed against yours. The tenderness calms you down until your tears stop, but he doesn't pull away. 
After a while, he whispers, “feel a little better?” 
“Y-yeah,” you say, voice returning to itself. 
Only then does he release you, rubbing a thumb under your eye to wipe moisture away. 
“I didn't mean to hurt you. You wanna go somewhere and talk about it?” 
“I- I've never- I don't talk about- I-” you shake your head as if to clear it. A part of you wants to hit him, to shout at him, but his gaze is so concerned that you agree. Your shoulders slump, losing a bit of tension. “OK.” 
Smiling at you, he whips his flannel shirt off, leaving him in a white vest, and ties it around your waist. 
“For your modesty. Come with me.” 
Puzzled, you follow him out of the bathroom and back into the shop where Mac is sitting looking worried. 
“What's going-” 
Eddie interrupts, “emergency late lunch needed, alright? Can you cancel my 3 o clock?” 
Mac seems confused, but looks at Eddie's earnest face, and your emotional one, and nods. 
“Not a problem.” 
“Thanks, man.” 
Before you can ask where you're going, he pulls you from the shop by the arm and across the street into a dimly lit bar, depositing you in the nearest booth. 
“I'll be right back.” 
If he's uncomfortable by his appearance, he doesn't show it. The way he strides up to the bar, it's as if he owns the place. It's remarkable, the sheer confidence he embodies like a second skin. 
“Hey, John!” He hollers, knuckles knocking on the wood of the bar. 
John appears, a gruff, stocky guy with a buzz cut and a sour face. 
“What the fuck are you doing here.” 
“Oh come on, you know you missed me.” 
John's face screws into something akin to a smile. “What do you want, you little shit.” 
“I love it when you talk dirty,” Eddie grins and winks, “two beers please.” 
A grunt and a nod, and John puts the beers down on the bar. As Eddie reaches for his wallet John waves a hand in dismissal. 
“Put that away boy, your money ain't good here. Besides, your lady friend looks like she needs it.” 
You flush and tear your eyes away, embarrassed. Eddie walks back over and puts a beer in front of you. 
“Eddie, we're still working I-” 
“It's one beer. It's alright.” 
You shrug and take a sip, nodding at the bartender, “he knows I'm upset, do I look a mess?” 
Shaking his head so hard it releases some of his wayward waves from their confines, he tips his beer at you, before he takes a long chug. 
“No,” he says enthusiastically, “you look just as pretty as you always do.” 
Scoffing, you turn your eyes downward. Eddie ignores your response, instead pressing on what happened earlier. 
“Sorry again,” he says, sounding genuinely distressed, "I don't want to see anyone hurt from something I said, least of all you.” 
Meeting his gaze, you smile incredulously. “Oh? And why me?” 
“Come on, don't make me say it.” 
Staring at him, you fold your arms in an act of defiance. He rolls his eyes and looks at you. 
“I like you. You're uptight, and mean to me, and a little conceited, but I like you. I don't want you to hurt. Can we just be friends? I'm a pretty good listener, you know? I can help.” 
Heat floods your insides. Eyes scanning him for any sign of a joke, you come up empty. 
‘I'm not conceited,” you counter weakly, clinging on to the familiar push and pull. 
“And I'm the Easter bunny.” 
Giggling, you take another sip of beer. 
“Come on, friends? Talk to me.” 
Sighing deeply, you fix your gaze at the table, forefinger tracing patterns in the condensation from your drink. “Promise not to laugh?” 
“I promise.” 
You can't tell how genuine he's being, as you don't dare look at his face, nerves controlling your every limb. His voice seems honest enough. 
“I- I have a problem, something I can't physically do. You reminded me of it. It's not your fault.” Shrugging in an attempt to make this look less serious than it is for you, you take a pull out of your beer bottle once more.
“Wait, are you saying…” he chuckles a little in disbelief, “have you never… had an orgasm before?” 
“Eddie, be quiet!” You urgently whisper, looking around the bar. 
“No one's listening sweetheart, no spies in here,” he says in a low tone, hand reaching out to grasp yours. Your first instinct is to shake his hand away but he holds firm, rough fingertips rubbing against your knuckles. 
“Eddie, I'm broken,” you whimper, voice breaking, “I can't do it.” 
“Oh sweetheart,” he responds, chock full of emotion, “you're not broken. You are perfect.” 
Pulling your hand away, you keep your eyes away from his, unwilling to meet that burning gaze of his. Unwilling to lose yourself in those sultry dark eyes. 
“I can't do it. Anytime some guy tries, it hurts. I've given up to be honest. I just wasn't made for it.” 
He laughs again, dragging his hand over his face. 
“Fuck, sweetheart, the problem ain't you. Have you- have you tried, fixing it, on your own?” The last part is a whisper, you assume to protect your feelings. 
“Yeah, but I just feel stupid and awkward. I don't know.” 
There's a little silence between you as you both dwell in the suffocating fog of your confession, neither of you willing to clear it. 
“Listen, this may be way out of your comfort zone, but I'm saying it anyway. If you don't like it, we'll forget it, and I won't mention it again.” 
Finally looking at him, at the vulnerability on his face, you nod, not trusting your voice. 
“I can… maybe I can help you. Show you you're not broken? As a favour between friends.” 
You laugh mirthlessly and finish your beer. “That's a little more than a favour, Eddie.” 
“We can keep it professional.” 
You stare at him wide eyed. His messy hair and dark glittering eyes. At the way he slumps in his seat like a king or a delinquent, you can't decide which. At his taunt frame, the tattoos spackling every available inch of his skin. Your eyebrows raise of their own accord. 
“Professional? You?” 
“Yeah, me! I can do it, you know. I could make you come.” 
A shiver forces its merry way down your spine at his words. 
“You're really confident.” 
“You haven't seen what I can do.” 
Blushing hard, you attempt to control yourself. “Look, if we're going to do this, I need you to promise some things.” 
“Ah, of course, you would have rules,” he grins, as he leans back and spreads in his seat, “continue.” 
Searching your mind for a moment, you try to glean what you need. 
“First of all, we need to be discreet, and professional at all times, clear?” 
“As crystal,” he grins wolfishly, “anything else?” 
“Yeah- I think,” you wrack your brains, trying to come up with something that would make this less intimate. Anything. But the roguish nature of his presence makes it hard to even think of a thing. Finally, your eyes widen at the idea that suddenly crosses your mind. 
“Final rule. No kissing.” 
He pouts, looking at your chest and back up, “no kissing anywhere?” 
“N-no, no kissing on the mouth.” 
Grin returning, he winks at you, a gesture that flips your stomach inside out. 
“Kinky. Alright, deal,” he leans forward to give his hand to yours. A hand covered in ink and calluses. Roughness and tenderness. 
You shake it.
********************
For the next couple of days, your little arrangement isn't brought up. A wild thought hammers itself into your mind; either he wasn't serious, or you imagined it. 
Those theories are put to bed on day three. 
After you let Mac know about the flyers and the bonus poster you designed, you sit back and enjoy the praise given to you. It's funny, the feeling of being told a job has been well done makes you happier than you care to admit.
Eddie turns up at the counter, whistling through his teeth. “Sweet looking flyers, how'd you swing those?” 
“I designed them. I've got a degree in design and marketing, if you didn't know,” you sniff, rearranging the stationary on the counter to avoid his eyes. 
“Maybe you could help me design some for my band. These look pretty metal.” He says, picking one up and looking at it closely. 
“Maybe.” 
Eddie leans in close, so close you feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek. 
“If you're still up for our arrangement, I'm free tonight.” 
Heat immediately flushes your face. Ignoring him entirely, you write your address and a time on a notepad, and thrust the paper into his hands. 
“Covert, I like it. See you then princess.” 
By the time 9pm rolls around you're a jittery mass of nerves, having changed clothes no less than four times, tidied your apartment, changed the bedsheets and paced so much you're surprised there's not a groove in the floorboards. 
In the end you'd decided on a baggy band t-shirt and your sleep shorts. It was a rational calculation to make Eddie think you're just wearing what you usually would at home and therefore show you're not nervous. I mean, you are wearing what you'd usually wear at home. He didn't need to know about how long it took you to reach that decision. 
The sound of the intercom buzzing sends your pulse into overdrive. Pressing the button, you let out a strangled “Hello?” 
“Hey princess.” 
“Come on up.” 
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…
A soft knock at the door and you count to five, trying to remember how to breathe. When you open the door, you're stunned. He's leaning on the doorframe in a fucking button up shirt. It's black, and clings to him deliciously. His hair looks a little damp, loose around his shoulders, and his aftershave is making you feel dizzy. 
“Oh, you didn't need- I mean-” you point at his shirt, and he looks down and chuckles. 
“Just came from band practice. Took a shower, and this was clean,” he shrugs and shoulders into your apartment. “Nice place. Where's all your stuff?” 
You look around at your sparse apartment. Everything in order, down to the fresh flowers on your tiny dining table. 
“This is all my stuff,” you say, confused, “I don't like clutter.” 
He chuckles, walking over to you. “No wonder I annoy you. I am clutter.” 
He's close now, close enough so that you have to look up to see his face. His rough fingers ghost your arm, sending a wave of goosebumps over your skin. 
“Nice seeing you in something casual. L7, right?” He asks, pointing at the t-shirt. 
“Yeah, you know who they are?” 
“I'm surprised you do. Thought you'd be a Mariah Carey kinda girl.” 
You scrunch your face in distaste. “No, not at all. You don't know everything about me.” 
He leans in, warm breath a whisper in your ear. “I know some things about you.” 
Squirming hotly, you lead him to your room before you lose your nerve. 
“So, the princess's bedchamber. It's nice,” he remarks, flopping down on the bed as if it were his own. 
“Take your boots off,” you snip, folding your arms. 
“Ah, there she is.” He smiles, but does as instructed. Once more he's laying back into your scattered pillows looking perfectly at ease. You, on the other hand, stand there, spine a vertical rod as you stare back at him. 
 “Come on then, sit down.” 
Nervously you sit at the foot of the bed with your legs crossed. 
“Now princess, what do you do when you touch yourself?” 
Blushing furiously, you stammer out, “what, do you expect me to like, show you?” 
He chuckles, diffusing some of the tension. “As much as I'd like that, I don't think you're ready for that kinda shit. Just tell me, what's your thought process?” 
Staring at him for a little too long, you open your mouth and close it again. He rolls his eyes. 
“Look, if you want me to help I'll help, but you gotta give me something here.” He looks as if he's about to get up and leave; your arm shoots out on its own accord, grabbing his leg to stop him. 
“Sorry, sorry. I just, I've never spoken about this kinda stuff. I don't know about any process, I just… reach down and fiddle around?” You blush even more. 
“So you don't like, watch anything? Or read anything?” He looks a little amused.
“What on earth are you talking about?” 
“Porn, sweetheart.” 
It's so blunt that you jump a little. “Oh no, I've never, oh no no.” 
“Christ,” he whispers, “right, you can like, set the mood. Look at something to turn you on? It'd probably help you feel less awkward.” 
“Oh. Right.” 
“And do you ever just like, slouch? I feel like I'm back at school looking at ya.” 
“Huh?” 
“Just, come here.” He pats the little space between his spread legs and you hesitate for a second before you crawl over to him. 
“How do you want me to sit, like cross legged or-” 
He grabs your hips and spins you, forcing your back into his crotch.
“Stop trying to control every little thing,” he says in a hard tone, one you're too embarrassed to admit makes your insides tingle. Softer, he continues. “Look, if you're ever gonna get there you need to relax, stop trying to control it, and stop overthinking.” 
“Great, all of the things I'm shit at.” 
His laugh is loud, it vibrates into your spine. “I'll help you, OK? You trust me?” 
“In a very limited sense of the word, yeah.” 
“Lemme rephrase. You still OK to do this?” 
“Yeah.”
“Good. Just relax.” 
You're not sure what you are expecting, but it certainly isn't his hands winding into your hair, fingertips rubbing softly at your scalp. It shoots tingles down your spine, your entire head feeling fuzzy and warm. 
You stifle a whimper, biting your lip. His fingers stop. 
“If you want to make noises, you can. Tells me I'm doing a good job. That goes for everything else too, alright?” 
“Alright.” You whisper. 
“You comfortable?” 
“Yeah it's just- well-”
“Tell me.” 
“I think it's your shirt buttons, they're digging into my back a bit,” you admit, feeling the sharp points down your spine. 
“Easily fixed.” He taps your arm and you lean forward. Some rustling, and he throws his shirt to the foot of your bed. 
“Now just chill sweetheart.” 
His fingers begin rubbing at you again, thumbs sinking low to pop at the bubbles in your neck. 
“Fuck, that's really nice.” 
He hums appreciatively, working his hands lower and dropping them to your shoulders. The massaging continues, and you feel yourself melting, your body moulding into his. Your legs, once ramrod straight, have bent a little and parted of their own accord, the muscles loosening. Even your breathing has slowed. 
“That's better, atta girl,” he says and you whine at the words, a little pathetic mewling sound that tumbles past your lips.
“Oh, you like that, don't you?” The smile is evident in his voice, a smug tone smeared liberally across each word. 
“You, you're so-” you begin, but his hand drags across the front of your shirt, just over the tops of your breasts.
“I'm so what?” He whispers in your ear.
“So, so arrogant,” you huff. He laughs, a husky chuckle, and dances the tips of his fingers over your clothed nipple. Gasping, you grasp at his thighs either side of you.
“Yeah? What else am I?” He says, nibbling at your earlobe. 
“You- you're cocky, and- and self assured- Oh God!” 
Rudely interrupted by him tweaking your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, you swear, back arching off of him for a moment. 
“You know,” he says in a gravelly tone directly in your ear, “those are pretty much the same thing.” 
“You drive me crazy,” you huff, squirming a little against him as his hands explore your chest over your shirt.
“Good crazy or bad crazy?” He smiles, then bites softly at your neck. 
“I- I haven't decided yet.” 
���Good. I can say the same about you,” he admits, his hands trailing lower, pulling your shirt up so he can stroke at your bare sides. The touch of fingertips on your skin sends a river of sensations through you that run deep into your core. 
“Are you going to- what are you doing, exactly?” You breathe, starting to move against him. 
“I'm warming you up sweetheart. Why, don't you like it?” 
Genuinely curious, you try to ask what you want to know without using the words. 
 “N- no, I do. Do you have to, erm, get warmed up? When you, you know.” 
He lets out a little huff of a laugh. “Guys are a little less… complicated, than girls. For the most part.” 
“Oh. OK, so you can just. I mean, you just, get excited?” Your breathing becomes more ragged when the tip of his thumb grazes the underside of your breast. 
“Sweetheart, I got hard seeing you in these little shorts.” Running a finger down your stomach, he lightly pings the elastic of your sleep shorts as if to accentuate his point. 
“Really?” 
There's no denying it when he moves his hips up and you feel his solid bulge press into the small of your back. 
“Really. Can I take this off?” He asks, twisting the hem of your shirt in one hand. 
“Yeah.” It's a whisper. You're a little scared of being bare chested, but not having to see his face helps. Plus, he's wound you up so much you're on the verge of begging for his touches, pleading for more. 
He guides your top up, up, up, revealing you slowly. Coaxing it over your head, you move your arms up so he can remove it. It ends up in a heap on top of his shirt. One tattooed arm wraps around your waist, pulling you toward him more, his hardness pushing against your ass. 
His breathing is unsteady as he grinds his hips, pushing onto you further. Gasping, your fingers are vices, firmly attached to his thighs in a vain attempt to anchor you. 
Suddenly his hand is winding into your hair, tugging your head aside so he can run a fat tongue across your neck. You shudder at the sensation, feeling the hard ball of his tongue piercing against your throat When he takes his pillowy lips and sucks at the spot between your neck and shoulder a moan slips out. Grunting in approval, his hands are on your bare tits, fingers pinching at your hardened nipples. 
“Holy hell!” 
He laughs, running rough fingers down your body, circling your new ink, then dipping down past your waistband. Those tattooed fingers barely brush your pubic hair, teasing you, then glide back up to your stomach. 
“Eddie, please.” 
Your voice is small, not your own. Eddie groans low in your ear, rubbing his length into the fat of your ass.
“Fuck, princess, I like you saying my name like that. You want me to touch you right here?” he says, pressing down hard over your clothed clit. 
The sheer relief of having his touch where you need it gets you close to tears; a gulping shudder of a sob rips from deep in your chest. 
“See, you're not broken, sweetheart. Can I take these off?” 
Shaking, you hook your fingers into your sleep shorts and pull them down your legs, air hitting your most intimate area. Eddie huffs in your ear, his inked hands rubbing up the insides of your thighs. 
“You're so fuckin’ sexy.”
Before you can retort, his fingers dip down to your entrance, gathering your slick. You can hear how wet you are, but it's not in you to think about it. You can't think, only feel. 
When his fingers run up and start rubbing circles into your clit, your response is visceral. Bucking up, you chase the feeling, searching for even more. 
“I'm gonna slip a finger in, alright princess?” 
You nod, waiting for the pain, wincing before it even starts.
“It's OK, you're fine, you gotta relax baby.” He strokes your stomach with his free hand, pressing kisses to your temple. 
The tip of his finger breaches you, and the pain doesn't come. Your soaking wet cunt invites him in, warm and pulsing with arousal. He slips it into the hilt, his palm pressing into your clit, and your moan is long and loud. It's never felt like this. Never has it stoked a fire in your gut, bubbled your insides like pop rocks and Coke, turned you into a writhing mess. 
He fucks his finger into you, slipping a second in to join the first, and you move your hips, chasing the building tightness in your belly. Each thrust of his hand has you bucking, and in turn rubbing against his member trapped within its denim prison. 
“That's it, good fuckin’ girl.” His voice is strained, as if he's trying hard not to lose control. 
“Eddie, oh fuck, f-feels so- good, yes, please, please-” 
You're not sure what you're begging for, and Eddie doesn't seem to be in any state to ask, but it doesn't matter. His fingers fuck into you in earnest, stroking hard against some spot inside that has you babbling and quivering around him. 
“God, you're so tight, this little cunts gonna drive me crazy. So wet and perfect, Jesus Christ.”
The feeling seems too much and not enough, and it grows higher and higher, flooding your body with a pleasure so intense you're sure you black out. The only thing you're aware of is your voice screaming out his name as your body thrusts wildly into his grip. Finally, it dissipates, your body melting against his form, sweating and spent. 
You take a breath, and another, trying to gather your wits enough to speak. Eddie speaks first.
“So sweetheart, everything you dreamed it would be?” He asks as he strokes your hair. 
“Better. Fuck, Eddie. Thank you.” 
“Anytime. Seriously. Any. Time. Day, night, weekends, holidays-” 
You giggle, slapping his thigh, and sit up, grabbing your discarded shirt to cover up. 
“Sorry, that was probably a little er, frustrating for you.” You say as you glance at his bare torso, drinking in the sight with your eyes for the first time. He's lean, but ripped, a faint sheen of sweating making his tattoos glisten in the low light. 
“What do you mean sweetheart?” 
“Well, doing that, not getting anything in return...” 
He chuckles lightly, “Oh I wouldn't say that,” he glances down, gesturing to his jeans, “full disclosure, I came in my pants.” 
“Really?” your eyes widen, staring at him with disbelief. 
“I ain't lying. Wanna check?” He waggles his eyebrows at you, making you laugh again. 
“You seem better already. Right, I better go.” 
Shoulders deflating, you pout, “I suppose you better.” 
“Hey don't look at me like that. I hoped that helped. Sleep tight, drink some water. I'll see you tomorrow princess.” 
And just like that, he leaves. Of course he leaves, it was just a deal you struck, nothing more. A favour. you wipe stray tears from your eyes and try not to focus on the sound of the front door shutting. 
As you collapse on the bed, exhausted, you think about his hands, his words. There's something screaming inside, telling you you're playing with fire, but as you drift off you can't find it in you to mind.
Taglist
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mostlysignssomeportents · 8 months ago
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Prison-tech company bribed jails to ban in-person visits
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I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in BOSTON with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then PROVIDENCE (Apr 12), and beyond!
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Beware of geeks bearing gifts. When prison-tech companies started offering "free" tablets to America's vast army of prisoners, it set off alarm-bells for prison reform advocates – but not for the law-enforcement agencies that manage the great American carceral enterprise.
The pitch from these prison-tech companies was that they could cut the costs of locking people up while making jails and prisons safer. Hell, they'd even make life better for prisoners. And they'd do it for free!
These prison tablets would give every prisoner their own phone and their own video-conferencing terminal. They'd supply email, of course, and all the world's books, music, movies and games. Prisoners could maintain connections with the outside world, from family to continuing education. Sounds too good to be true, huh?
Here's the catch: all of these services are blisteringly expensive. Prisoners are accustomed to being gouged on phone calls – for years, prisons have done deals with private telcos that charge a fortune for prisoners' calls and split the take with prison administrators – but even by those standards, the calls you make on a tablet are still a ripoff.
Sure, there are some prisoners for whom money is no object – wealthy people who screwed up so bad they can't get bail and are stewing in a county lockup, along with the odd rich murderer or scammer serving a long bid. But most prisoners are poor. They start poor – the cops are more likely to arrest poor people than rich people, even for the same crime, and the poorer you are, the more likely you are to get convicted or be suckered into a plea bargain with a long sentence. State legislatures are easy to whip up into a froth about minimum sentences for shoplifters who steal $7 deodorant sticks, but they are wildly indifferent to the store owner's rampant wage-theft. Wage theft is by far the most costly form of property crime in America and it is almost entirely ignored:
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jun/15/wage-theft-us-workers-employees
So America's prisons are heaving with its poorest citizens, and they're certainly not getting any richer while they're inside. While many prisoners hold jobs – prisoners produce $2b/year in goods and $9b/year in services – the average prison wage is $0.52/hour:
https://www.dollarsandsense.org/archives/2024/0324bowman.html
(In six states, prisoners get nothing; North Carolina law bans paying prisoners more than $1/day, the 13th Amendment to the US Constitution explicitly permits slavery – forced labor without pay – for prisoners.)
Likewise, prisoners' families are poor. They start poor – being poor is a strong correlate of being an American prisoner – and then one of their breadwinners is put behind bars, taking their income with them. The family savings go to paying a lawyer.
Prison-tech is a bet that these poor people, locked up and paid $1/day or less; or their families, deprived of an earner and in debt to a lawyer; will somehow come up with cash to pay $13 for a 20-minute phone call, $3 for an MP3, or double the Kindle price for an ebook.
How do you convince a prisoner earning $0.52/hour to spend $13 on a phone-call?
Well, for Securus and Viapath (AKA Global Tellink) – a pair of private equity backed prison monopolists who have swallowed nearly all their competitors – the answer was simple: they bribed prison officials to get rid of the prison phones.
Not just the phones, either: a pair of Michigan suits brought by the Civil Rights Corps accuse sheriffs and the state Department of Corrections of ending in-person visits in exchange for kickbacks from the money that prisoners' families would pay once the only way to reach their loved ones was over the "free" tablets:
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/03/jails-banned-family-visits-to-make-more-money-on-video-calls-lawsuits-claim/
These two cases are just the tip of the iceberg; Civil Rights Corps says there are hundreds of jails and prisons where Securus and Viapath have struck similar corrupt bargains:
https://civilrightscorps.org/case/port-huron-michigan-right2hug/
And it's not just visits and calls. Prison-tech companies have convinced jails and prisons to eliminate mail and parcels. Letters to prisoners are scanned and delivered their tablets, at a price. Prisoners – and their loved ones – have to buy virtual "postage stamps" and pay one stamp per "page" of email. Scanned letters (say, hand-drawn birthday cards from your kids) cost several stamps:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/14/minnesota-nice/#shitty-technology-adoption-curve
Prisons and jails have also been convinced to eliminate their libraries and continuing education programs, and to get rid of TVs and recreational equipment. That way, prisoners will pay vastly inflated prices for streaming videos and DRM-locked music.
The icing on the cake? If the prison changes providers, all that data is wiped out – a prisoner serving decades of time will lose their music library, their kids' letters, the books they love. They can get some of that back – by working for $1/day – but the personal stuff? It's just gone.
Readers of my novels know all this. A prison-tech scam just like the one described in the Civil Rights Corps suits is at the center of my latest novel The Bezzle:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle
Prison-tech has haunted me for years. At first, it was just the normal horror anyone with a shred of empathy would feel for prisoners and their families, captive customers for sadistic "businesses" that have figured out how to get the poorest, most desperate people in the country to make them billions. In the novel, I call prison-tech "a machine":
a million-­armed robot whose every limb was tipped with a needle that sank itself into a different place on prisoners and their families and drew out a few more cc’s of blood.
But over time, that furious empathy gave way to dread. Prisoners are at the bottom of the shitty technology adoption curve. They endure the technological torments that haven't yet been sanded down on their bodies, normalized enough to impose them on people with a little more privilege and agency. I'm a long way up the curve from prisoners, but while the shitty technology curve may grind slow, it grinds fine:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware
The future isn't here, it's just not evenly distributed. Prisoners are the ultimate early adopters of the technology that the richest, most powerful, most sadistic people in the country's corporate board-rooms would like to force us all to use.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/02/captive-customers/#guillotine-watch
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Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
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Flying Logos https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Over_$1,000,000_dollars_in_USD_$100_bill_stacks.png
CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en
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KGBO https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Suncorp_Bank_ATM.jpg
CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en
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originalwinnerfanfish · 3 months ago
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Well, I did it
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Megatron - I love his tfp design. Probably one of the best iteration of Megs. He is huge, heavy armoured, his face covered with scars… He doesn’t looks like an ordinary military leader who is only capable of giving orders, but like real warrior who can destroy any enemy with his bare hands.
So, in the WOF version, he definitely shares some features with Princess Burn, not only because of his might, but also because of his horns shape and dirty-dark scales (that absorbed blood of his enemies)
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Starscream - Boy, I hate him so much 🤣… but in the good way, trust me! In my opinion, when the show's creators make you feel such strong negative emotions towards a villain, it means they've done a great job. Also, I think that his animation in the show was absolutely incredible, because even though he's a 3D model, he still manages to move like a 2D character, which is amazing!
I feel that in my design he still looks more like a skywing, than an icewing (which is kinda logical)
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Soundwave - This one was tricky. I couldn't figure out what his mask would look like, so I just made his face a really dark color. I think Soundwave has both gifts of the nightwings, and he’s equally great at telepathy and a future vision. So he doesn't really need equipment to predict enemy movements, which makes him an ideal communicator in the WOF setting. His Laserbeak is part of the armor enchanted by Shockwave, and it might also allow him to open portals (but I'm not sure with this one)
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Shockwave - My favourite evil genius. He would definitely have animus magic and mind reading. I think Shockwave is the only one who has advanced the study of magic so far, precisely because he combined it with scientific knowledge and created safer methods of using it, that don't damage the mind. It's like if a Mastermind got animus magic in books.
I also like to think that he didn't heal the damaged part of his face just so that his enemies would fear him more)
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Dreadwing - This man deserved better! It's really a shame that he was removed from the show so quickly due to financial problems. It would be great if his arc got a proper conclusion in season 3.
Considering that I didn't want to make him a hybrid, it was difficult to choose a suitable color palette. So let’s just say, that I tried my best😅
I don’t think that he would have any nightwing powers, but honestly it doesn’t even matter - this guy can make a bombs, what else does he need to be cool
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Arachnid - Did anyone even doubt that she would be a hivewing? Damn, she even got her own “Othermind” virus. Her design was the easiest to work with - just a little poisonous ass (suspiciously similar to Maleficent).
Just like Starscream, I hate her, but in a good way. She's one of the creepiest characters in the entire series, who’s acting like a fucking heartless monster, especially with Arcee, but even so, there's always was something mesmerizing about her. I just really like strong female villains
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Knockout - Wery bright and charismatic guy, definitely one of my fav cons!
I tried to draw him as handsome as possible. Worked a lot on the face shape and coloring, and as for me it turned out pretty nice (finally).
Most decepticons think Knockout is as stupid and lazy as all the other rainwings. And it's not like he completely disagrees with that. Of course he’s not stupid and lazy, but if it’s means less dirty work on the battlefield, well, he’ll continue act like a tipical rainwing
(I also believe that Megatron keeps him as an “art”)
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Breakdown - Fun fact: "Operation Breakdown" was the very first thing I saw in this series. And it was an interesting experience for 8 year old me. Maybe that's why I'm so scared of eye gouging scenes in movies now…
I think that he didn't have any siblings initially due to his parents nature, and even after meeting Bulkhead, he felt uncomfortable among the other mudwings. And this is why he later chose the side of the decepticons. And maaaaybe because of one cute rainwing influence)
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P.s.
I think that, being mostly nightwings and icewings, the decepticons are much more concerned about purity of their blood and rarely accept half-breeds into their ranks.
During the war, there were many animus dragons among decepticons, which is why they have so many artifacts that allowed teleportation and communication at a distance. But, honestly, I still can't imagine what Nemesis would look like in this AU
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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year ago
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Yandere Miguel O'Hara Headcanons
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Warnings: 18+, Depictions of Smut, Implied Non-Con, Breeding, Kidnapping, Restraining, Yandere Miguel, Obsessive Miguel, Possessive Miguel, Implied Female Reader, Implied Gender-Neutral Reader, No Pronouns used for Reader Except ‘You’.
You took him in after you found him collapsed on the rooftop of your apartment, a thick, bleeding gouge along his side. And, initially, he was very suspicious of you, found your generosity – your eagerness to clean and dress his wound, to bring him a fresh change of clothes, to offer him a warm meal – a cause for alarm.
But, you made your intentions with him quite clear; that you only wished to help, to make sure he was fully-healed before he descended upon the world once more.
He did try to leave. Truly, he did. But your proclamations that he needed rest and the nice warm bed you’d offered him forced his body to succumb before his mind did.
As convincing as you may be, Miguel is still highly cautious of you. Tuning into his senses, trying to detect poison in his food or a hidden enemy in your apartment.
But, for the days he’s there, Miguel picks up nothing.
You tell him about yourself – anything and everything he’d like to know – often sitting by his side and answering every question he asks of you: your name, your job; the basics. And, eventually, he opens up to you. Marginally. Tells you a little bit about why he’s here.
He only tells you he - and his associates – are in pursuit of a highly dangerous target. Of course, he omits the part about the fate of the Multiverse hanging squarely on the success of this mission, and he just can’t seem to bring himself to as your eyes fill with wonder and curiosity, your attention solely on him.
And he can’t help but indulge you when you ask him if he has any stories about his time as a superhero.
He relents. Tells you of missions which bear little weight on the universe you reside in – nothing that could endanger you should you tell another soul. And you listen with an eagerness he wished his subordinates would display, even if only for theatrics’ sake.
You tell him how lucky the world is to have a hero like him – how lucky you are to even be talking to him, seeing as you’re just a civilian.
Your earnest nature makes something in him tick. Something he can’t place his finger on.
As the days fly by, he finds himself racking his brain for more stories to tell you, more tales to regale where he comes out on top, ever the hero he is.
It helps bury some of the guilt that lingers in his heart, fractals of a universe he’s shattered. Makes him feel as if he’s not entirely a failure.
Whenever you leave the apartment – for work or for shopping – Miguel wanders around, watches some TV, formulates his game plan for when he has to leave.
That last one brings him a little too much anxiety for his liking, so he often finds himself thinking of you instead to ease his nerves.
Something, initially, he’s somewhat shocked by. But the longer he does it, the more natural it feels. The more vivid his daydreams become.
He tries never to let them stray into lewd territory, but after he accidentally caught sight of you undressing, his mind has been urging him to visit some...unsavoury places.
He only permits brief trips there when you’re out of the house, and never for very long.
The two of you fall into a routine while he’s healing; you come home and prepare him dinner, he comes and helps you – even when you tell him he should be resting. Then, you eat together and watch a film.
One evening, close to his departure – Miguel knows he hasn’t long with you left – you fell asleep on him, your face resting on his shoulder.
He dared not move for fear of disturbing you, losing you.
Then, his heart…fluttered.
And, as you slept soundly on him, with all the trust in the world, he realised that nobody had been this close to him – physically – since…
Since he lost his universe.
The idea that someone could take this for granted, the simple act of trust, that they could take advantage of yours, shot through him, a bullet of realisation. And the pain only sears as he looks upon your face, oblivious to the thoughts racing through his mind, through the minds of others – criminals and low-lifes who would kill you for no reason.
He couldn’t leave you.
Not here, and not on your own.
He knows it’s selfish, but, in another vein, he believes he’s saving you. Being the hero you see him as.
The next day, he’s fully-healed. And he has a proposition for you.
“Go…with you ?” you say, eyebrow raised. “Miguel, I don’t underst-”
“You don’t need to,” he says. “But what you do need to know is that you’re not safe here.”
“What makes you think that ?” You cross your arms over your chest, as if to contain – hide – the suspicion growing there. Miguel brings a hand to the back of his neck, rubs it, tilts his head back.
“Listen, I just know things– things that make me qualified to tell you that you, on your own, in this universe, are not safe.”
Miguel knows he’s getting nowhere with you. Especially since he made no effort to explain his multiversal goings-ons to you when he first arrived. So, he shows you.
He takes you by the hand and, willingly, you go with him. To him, that’s confirmation – submission. Your compliance with his whims.
He brings you to a universe where everything is oddly…liminal. Like an early 2010’s Microsoft desktop wallpaper. Just green hills, a distant forest encircling the land, and a house. Big enough to fit a family of considerable size.
Made to fit you and Miguel.
By the time you realise anything’s wrong, out of the ordinary (aside from being shown inter-dimensional travel), Miguel’s dropping a bombshell on you.
“This is your new home,” he says, standing behind you. He’s so close you can feel his warmth against your back. He places a hand on your shoulder. Squeezes it. “Our new home.”
Any shock that overcomes you is overpowered with the sense of dread that you’ve walked right into Miguel’s trap. That, just as he’d warned you, someone had taken advantage of your kind, trusting nature.
You can fight as much as you want, but Miguel’s got his heart set on you. And your future here.
You see, while you were caring for Miguel, showing him the concern and attentiveness he’s been starved of for years, his mind had begun to wander. Wondered what you’d be like with him if you were always together. Wondered how you’d act if you were to care for a child. 
His child.
He’ll try to convince you of this ideal, that this is right and is what’s best for you, but if you keep resisting, you’ll see his possessive side emerge. His anger.
Red eyes, pinning you to the wall, nostrils flared; he is not losing you. And if he needs to frighten you into this new life, then so be it. Though, he wants you to adjust naturally, to want what he wants, to, dare he say, love him as he loves you.
And if you’re not going to submit to him willingly, he’ll take it by force.
If you’re capable of bearing children, he creates a strict regiment wherein he takes you, filling you with his load. At first, this was once a day – every two days if he was busy.
Initially, he’d string you up to the ceiling by your legs after finishing, “To make sure it takes,” he told you. And it doesn’t matter how hard you struggle; his webs are steadfast. Stubborn.
But, as he became more ravenous, more enemaoured by the prospect of keeping you, of breeding you, he became sloppy. Desperate. The thought of you swollen with his offspring hits him while he’s at work, during the downtime between missions.
At which point he just takes care of himself, panting your name in the bathroom stall before finishing and returning to work as normal.
Then it became more frequent, occurring while he’s on missions, during integral moments. At this point, he tries to suppress it, save it for later. After all, it’s not like he has a choice.
And that’s when he’d come and pay you a midnight visit, girthy and stiff and eyes red with the carnal need to fill you again and again until your stomach bulged.
That regime he’d set up unravelled, and now he takes you at every convenience, every chance he gets, pinning you to a web and making sure you can’t struggle if you’re particularly resistant.
At first, he did feel guilty about this; guilty that he was the one hurting you, causing you to cry, to beg for him not to finish inside you as you told him you weren’t ready to have a child.
And, during this period, he would wear his mask. He thought it would offer him some protection against your tear-streaked, anguished stare, your pleas for him to let you go, to return you home.
It didn’t.
He tries to comfort you, to tell you that you’ll “Love being a parent – just give it a chance,” as he pumps his hot load into you, holding you close to him.
Depending on his mood, he can be very gentle or very rough.
When he’s gentle, he whispers in your ear, tells you how much you mean to him, how he loves you more than you’ll ever know.
When he’s rough, he’s merciless. And gone is the tender love he’d subject you to, replaced with growls and claims that he needs you, that he won’t stop fucking you until you’re filled with his offspring.
He has a web created specifically for when he breeds you – where he attaches you to it upside down, making sure your chances of pregnancy are maximised. He fucks you here too, sometimes. And while blood is rushing to your head from being upside down, Miguel’s pounding the life out of you, panting, sweating, moaning your name.
He can go for many, many rounds. His superhuman stamina and strength make him unstoppable when it comes to you.
He’ll keep going long after you’ve finished or while you’re unconscious and exhausted from his barrage, never ceasing until he stuffs his cum into you, holding you to him, pressing kisses to your face as he tells you what a good job you’ve done, how well you’ve taken him.
If you do end up pregnant, Miguel is never letting you go.
You can say goodbye to any chances of getting back to your universe when he finds out you’re bearing his child.
And you can’t hide it from him, either. His hearing and perception tell him you’re expecting even before you’re aware of it.
By that point, the only thing you can do is just accept that this is your life now. Doing so early on will make your existence with Miguel little more than bearable. Because if you aren’t excited or tolerant of this child, Miguel will string you up in your bedroom.
“For your own good,” he tells you, his eyes flickering down to your stomach. His eyes soften, fill with warmth. “And the baby’s.”
If he suspects you’ll try to hurt yourself or the baby, he’ll take drastic measures to ensure neither of those things happen; restraining you, placing you into an induced sleep, cocooning you.
If you can’t have children, he’ll simply take one from another universe and tell you that the two of you will raise them together.
If he suspects anyone or anything else is going to try to hurt you or the baby, he’ll destroy it. No questions asked.
He’s indiscriminate, too.
Even if it were one of his associates – someone he’s worked alongside for years – they’re all superficial to him.
His only concern is you.
And he’ll make sure you’re loved and cared for forever.
Masterlist Masterpost
Yandere Masterlist Juicy Original Content <3
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lemonlover1110 · 9 months ago
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬
Satoru Gojo
[Chapter 21] The Right Decision
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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader
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The rest of your trip runs smoothly. Thankfully, Satoru didn’t try to pull another stunt that made you want to gouge his eyes out. Ren is over the moon by going to the beach daily, going to new places to explore, trying new delicious food, and what matters the most, spending time with his mother and father. Sadly, his vacation can’t last forever.
Ren is gloomy the day before you’re supposed to leave, begging you and his father to stay a little longer. Satoru wants to say yes, and he would in a heartbeat if he didn’t have to work. As much as it pains him, he can’t give up everything to be a father. The next best solution is wait for Ren to leave you alone for a minute just to ask, 
“How about I extend your vacation for another week? I’ll leave, and Sayo probably won’t stay either. Just you and Ren.” And it’s tempting. You really want to say yes, but you also want to go back and resolve other issues. Plus, Ren is getting accustomed to getting whatever he wants, and you’re worried that he might become more like his father which is something that you definitely don’t want.
“We can come back some other time. It’s about time I go home.” You answer, and he nods in response. And as selfish as it sounds, Satoru is happy that you declined because he hates the idea of spending a week without seeing his son. It’s crazy to think that he lived a whole life before Ren, and the moment the little boy came into his life, Ren became everything to Satoru.
“Alright… Guess we have to make the most out of today so Ren cheers up.” Satoru says, glancing at his baby boy who’s plopped down on the couch, lamenting himself because he has to leave soon. Unluckily for everyone, it’s a rainy day outside. 
“There’s really not much we can do.” You tell him, and Satoru sighs. He wishes there was something he could do to make the sun come out, but no amount of money can control that. Satoru ponders, wondering what he can do to cheer his son up.
“I got it.” His eyes light up, and he runs upstairs. You furrow your brows in confusion before walking over to sit beside Ren. Your hand runs up and down his back, attempting to soothe him.
“I don’t wanna go home. I like it here.” He kicks his feet into the couch, and you make sure to keep your distance. Ren doesn’t want to go home, he likes it here. He’s with both of you the entire day, and you’re giving him all of your attention, how can he not like it? He knows the moment you go back, things will go back to normal. He’s gotten used to this, he doesn’t want to go back to normal.
“We have to, Ren. Your granny and grammy miss you, and I have to get back to my job.” You tell him, hoping that mentioning his grandmothers will make him reconsider. He loves them with all his heart, but truthfully, he prefers spending the entire day with you.
“I want to stay!” He yells, and a sigh escapes your lips as you pinch the bridge of your nose. He needs to let it out, you know he’s upset. But he shouldn’t be using his voice like that. 
“We’re not coming back if you keep throwing a tantrum.” You warn him before standing up and going to your bedroom. You don’t want to yell at him, so removing yourself from the situation is the best thing to do. Ren is still going to throw his tantrum, and you can only talk about the situation after. 
“I’m here!” You hear Satoru yell from the living room. You’re going to leave him to handle it, not making an effort to get up from bed. Until Satoru calls out your name, and you groan before getting up and walking over to the living room. You smile, seeing how Ren’s demeanor has changed, kneeling down on the floor in front of the coffee table, waiting for his father to open up the box that he brought down. “I remembered I had a board game here.”
“Is this the home you used to come to as a kid?” You ask, wondering why he has the board game with him. Satoru nods in response, sitting down beside the coffee table to open the old box.
 He used to play this game with his dad after getting home from the beach. It’s a game that’s more fun when played with more than two people, but Satoru didn’t really have that option. Regardless, he still had fun with his dad. Growing up, the only time that Satoru actually spent with his parents was the little vacations that they had yearly. He has very fond memories of this place, and of the board game that he opens.
“I haven’t played this in years, I have to read the rules again.” Satoru can’t help but laugh as he takes out every piece. He remembers every time being so excited to tell you about the game, begging his father to take the game back home or buy a new one for his house so he could play with you, but both of them always forgot. Luckily, he gets to play with you for the first time, and with your son as well.
“Take all the time you need.” You answer. Your eyes fall on your son, noting his somewhat puffy eyes. You ask him, “Are you better, Ren?”
“I am.” He nods. Pulling out the game completely changed his attitude. You can’t get too mad at him, he just got into this world. He’s just figuring things out, slowly learning that he can’t get everything even if his father wants to give him the world. 
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Like father, like son. Both are sore losers. After losing to you, both have pouty faces and you swear Ren is on the verge of tears. Ren doesn’t nap anymore, but you decide that after all his crying, you’ll put him to bed. You cuddle with him until Ren falls asleep, and once you’re sure he’s dreaming, you get up from bed and leave your bedroom. 
Satoru’s in the living room, going through his phone. You don’t want to be alone with him so you hope that going to the kitchen and getting yourself a glass of water will give him the hint. He can go to his bedroom and scroll through his phone there. However, when he hears you, he says, “Come join me!”
You sigh, but you still walk over to the couch and take a seat on the other end. You pull out your phone, while he turns his off. It’s completely silent for a minute before he clears his throat and asks, “Are you still talking to Suguru?”
“Does it concern you?” You quickly reply. It’s not his business, especially when he doesn’t tell you what’s going on with him and Sayo.
“I want to know if he’s the possible stepfather to my son.” Satoru answers, and you furrow your eyebrows. You put your phone down and look at him before tilting your head to the side.
“What about you and Sayo? She’s the stepmother to my son and you have yet to tell me a thing about your relationship with her.” You respond, and he purses his lips together. You’re right, you’re absolutely right, but this isn’t about him. “I have no idea about your arrangement with her either… The one that she mentioned.”
“We don’t have an arrangement.” Satoru scratches the back of his neck, clearly nervous about the question. He’s not with her out of love, he’s made that clear. Yet… Why is he denying it?
“The same way Suguru and I have nothing going on.” You answer, hoping that’ll make him speak. Although you aren’t lying, you feel as if you have nothing going on with Suguru right now. You’re avoiding his calls and texts, you definitely don’t have a future together after this. “Look, Satoru. I just want the truth, an explanation to everything. Maybe some closure.” 
The man takes a deep breath, and you know that he’s about to tell you the truth. You can read him like a book. Satoru bites down his lip before confessing, “I didn’t marry her out of love but out of convenience.”
That’s certainly a start, although you aren’t too shocked. Maybe you are a bit surprised since you assumed they fell out of love instead of straight up thinking it was arranged. He takes another deep breath before he says,
“When my father died, my mom knew that I wouldn’t be trusted with his spot… Since I was considered too immature. Also for other business purposes, merging the company that Sayo’s family owns with our own.” He begins, and you feel a pain that you haven’t felt in years. A sudden pain that consumes your body in a matter of seconds, and it only gets worse with his words. “There was another promising candidate that would’ve handled the job while I finished my studies, and my mom was scared that we would lose control. I’ve never been too well liked by them.”
You look down at the couch, feeling your eyes getting glossy as he speaks. You thought you were over this, you really were. He continues speaking, “Getting married to Sayo was my mom’s great solution… Getting married to a woman with status would show how mature I was, ready to take the spot.”
“And… I agreed. We would get married and stay like that until I had my job. I could show that I was great at what I was entrusted to do, and then I would get a divorce.” He explains, and you exhale. Your nails dig into the fabric of your pants, trying your best not to cry… This is why he did it. Money. Money was more important to him than your relationship.
He changed his number and completely blocked you out of his life. He treated you like he always did when you weren’t convenient to him. With contempt and superiority. As he speaks, you realize that you will never manage to be together without some kind of issue.
“I– I’m sorry.” He says, as his hand goes to your hand, but you jerk it out. It’s no surprise that he didn’t want to tell you, he’s right for not telling you. You almost would’ve preferred to hear that he left you because of love for someone else. 
You try not to let a single tear slip even though your heart breaks again. You would’ve left anything and everything behind for him, yet he didn’t even think twice before leaving you. And Satoru feels speechless as you’re on the verge of tears. He tells you, “It was a dumb decision, and given the option again, I would leave everything behind for you and for Ren.”
You stand up from the couch. You suddenly feel suffocated in the room. He wouldn’t choose you if he had the option, he’s only do it for Ren, and that realization makes it hard for you to breathe. But you’re glad he did it. It wasn’t his first time, just this time you realized you would never be his first option.
“No, you made the right decision.” You try to smile at him, attempting to hide the fact that tears are streaming down your cheeks. “Thank you for picking right.”
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after-witch · 7 months ago
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Damn Your Eyes Chapter 2 [Yandere Ren Hana x Reader]
Title: Cream and Sugar [Damn Your Eyes Chapter 2] [Yandere Ren Hana x Reader]
Synopsis: A fateful meeting at a bookstore between you and Ren Hana, years upon years after your escape from Strade, turns into a coffee shop date. You're not supposed to accept drinks from strangers, but Ren's not a stranger--so it's fine, right?
Word count: 5,322
notes: yandere, descriptions of violence/death/wounds, drugging
AO3 LINK
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How did one get over something like Strade? Get over that house and that basement? How do you move on with your life when you’ve seen someone’s guts spill out of their body while they’re still alive, and you’ve been instructed to pick them up and play with them for the delight of sick fucks watching it all on a paid stream?
The pretty answer, the one everyone recites when asked, because that’s what you do: with therapy and time and forgiveness for yourself. You take it one day at a time. You treat yourself. 
The real answer: You didn’t. You don’t. You can’t. 
Not fully. Because “getting over” something like that means it will eventually no longer affect you, no longer being a part of you. 
And sure. You will, eventually, go about something that feels like an ordinary life. 
You will walk into a grocery store with a tidy little list, you will roll your eyes at the rising cost of laundry detergent, you will smile at a cashier who says they like your outfit. You will date and drink coffee and sway to your favorite song while making dinner. 
But inside, inside of you , you are still there--still hovering at the last step of the basement stairs, listening to someone’s guttural shrieks as their skin is blow-torch melted down. Still clinging to Ren in the middle of the night, flinching when his hands wander over a recent gouge, a hastily stitched cut--an accident, he whispers, and you’re never sure if you believe him.
And that is what happened to you. 
It took years, of course, to even get close to that semblance of normalcy. A few years were spent in feverish hiding, running from place to place with no paper trails that might lead some gorehound that subscribed to Strade’s torture porn sniffing at your door, hungry for more. 
But you settled down, in time. Slowly. Bit by bit, piece by piece, inch by inch. 
That took years, too--the settling. 
It started with staying in an apartment for more than three months at a time. It started with going to the grocery store wearing only sunglasses, instead of sunglasses, a wig, and the most nondescript clothing you could fish out of a bargain bin. It started with applying for real jobs, not just seedy work that paid cash, quick.
It ended here, in this quaint little home that you shared with your husband for the past five years, though you’d lived together for longer. It ended here, with a modest marketing career that you’d built up after going back to college. It ended here, with a life you built for yourself; frail and a bit unorthodox, but a life nonetheless. 
You wouldn’t have been able to survive, if you hadn’t adapted. There is only so much terror the human man can manage before breaking entirely, and so--adaptation. 
It was a gift that your husband didn’t mind your… differences. The heavy insistence on home security, the desire for privacy, the slow way you gave trust to strangers--if you gave it at all. 
Some things did bother him. He grumbled about your lack of social media presence, and you’d once had an awful fight when his sister put a photo of you on Facebook that you’d demanded, in furious tears, be taken down. 
But, deep down, it wasn’t like you could blame your husband for bucking against your near tantrum-like reaction. For the way he sometimes sighed as you locked the front door with triple locks, and an electric sensor. For the way his jaw sometimes set, when you did something that wasn’t normal to anyone who hadn’t been the extended torture victim of a serial killer that doubled as a snuff porn producer.
Because you knew--deeper down--that you were still haunted by the ghosts in that basement. Strade and the torture victims and Ren and yourself, shaking like a leaf, bleeding onto concrete. You knew, even if the man you slept beside in a bed every night had no inkling of it, that you could never step back across that threshold and be the way you were before.
But.
And there’s always a but, isn’t there?
But… that was okay. It was okay that you could never go back; it was okay that you were someone new; it was okay that you weren’t okay, and you’d never be okay in the fullest sense of the word.
Your life was a life you created out of shaking fingers, something clawed out with dirty fingernails. It wasn’t perfect, but it was yours.
What more could you ask for, after Strade?
What more could you ask for, after anything ?
--
Books are a vice. More than smoking, more than sex. You could give up sex, you could swear you’ll never buy another pack of smokes, but you could never give up books. 
Okay, okay. You’re being over dramatic and theatrical. But how can you think of books as anything other than a sinful pleasure when you’re surrounded by these shelves and stacks, imagining that one day you can afford an extension on your home and dedicate an entire room (or two--why not, in a daydream?) solely to books?
You’re not even supposed to be here today. It was your day off, and your calendar was packed to the brim with mundane errands. Today’s schedule certainly didn’t leave room for indulgently browsing at a bookstore, but sometimes you just have to live a little, don’t you? 
Although if you come home with yet another bag of books, your husband is bound to shove his face into the nearest couch cushion and scream. But c’mon. It wasn’t your fault that you’d long since run out of shelf space and were prone to stuffing the books into boxes that cluttered the closests. 
Your fingers wander over the spines of the books crammed onto the shelves, catching the uneven mismatched spaces between with every dip. The spines are often worn and weathered, some of them even peeling a little. 
This was why you preferred secondhand bookstores. No neat lines of fresh new books set up to catch the eye and make a sale here. No, instead there were countless books shoved together with no care for size or color or sometimes (depending on who was stocking that day) even genre. 
For instance, today you find a battered paperback copy of Carrie by Stephen King right next to a suspiciously pristine How to Keep Your House from Drowning that probably still has an uncracked spine. That poor soul, with a messy house. Maybe they should have read the book. 
You’re about to keep moving when, on second thought: Your partner might get a kick out of finding that book on his nightstand. Or he’ll chuck it at your head (lovingly) for bringing it into the house. It’s a 50/50 gamble that you’re willing to take.
And so you go to pull it out, a private little grin on your face, just as another hand reaches across for Carrie.
Fingers and elbows bump together and you feel that slight flush of awkward embarrassment rush to your cheeks as you sputter out, “Sorry!” Your voice even goes up an octave, an annoying habit that you’ve been trying to train out of yourself.
The stranger pulls away and mutters their own low apology. They sound just as awkward as you, which makes you feel a little better, at least, so you turn to look at them and offer an embarrassed smile and you think, briefly, maybe you’ll grab Carrie for them or cheekily ask if they were going for the cleaning book--
But when you turn to look at them, all thoughts and cheek are snuffed out.
Not because the man in front of you is wearing a nicely tailored business suit and matching fedora hat; a dark gray complimented by a muted burgundy tie. Like he’s off to a meeting or comes from a big city where such outfits are often found in shops and cafes during lunch hours.
Not because the man in front of you is attractive, with red hair with a bit of ever so slightly silver sticking out from underneath his hat; his cologne, soft but spicy, tickles your nose. 
But because the man in front of you is Ren. 
Older, yes. His hair and face peppered with signs of time, just like yours. There are scars on his face that you remember--some etched onto his flesh right in front of you, and some from that gray area of before, when Strade had yet to take you--and some you don’t. 
Your body is lead, your throat is closed up. Speech and movement are now foreign, unknowable things, because Ren is standing right in front of you.
It takes you a moment to shake it off; no, two moments. No, three. 
And then you can finally speak, although the word comes out hoarse and whispered, like every ounce of spit in your mouth vanished the instant you saw him. Perhaps it did. 
“ Ren ?” 
He blinks. His eyes narrow, eyebrows furrowing. For a terrible moment, you find yourself thrown back down the basement steps, when knowing the difference between Strade’s brows furrowing in annoyance or amusement could mean the difference between the degree of your upcoming burns.
And then his expression opens, widens, just enough for you to recognize that he knows who you are now and you’re here, in a bookshop, decades on; not there, not in the basement, where you left Strade’s corpse to rot.
Ren--for he is Ren, and you know it--lifts his hat, his lips turning up in a smile that makes your heart twist painfully, and shows just the bottom edges of his ears in greeting.
He says your name and your ears ring, high and tinny. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a cashier standing at the till rearranging trinkets while clearly spying on whatever bit of vaguely interesting gossip this might turn into during their lunch break. 
You had, in truth, imagined this moment before. Countless times. Usually at night, though you weren’t terribly picky; a long trip on a bus, head pressed against the window glass, was also a great time for such thoughts. 
You’d imagined finding Ren some day, in many different ways. 
In some fantasies, you look him up in the phonebook (a stupid idea fit only for a fantasy, because Ren would never put himself out there like that, just as you hadn’t) and give him a call and meet up at a park and you apologize until your lungs stop working. In another, you run into him somewhere else, a store or park; a coincidence just like this one. In still others, he finds you, offering to meet in a public space because he knows you’d be scared and he wants you to be comfortable and Ren would definitely think of things like that, considering your shared experiences. 
In your daydreams, you had a speech prepared. It was always moving, of course. It culminated in a soft, unbearably sweet hug where the two of you squeezed out the pain from the preceding decades and parted in mutual understanding. Maybe with each other’s phone numbers on slips of paper. 
But those were daydreams. This is real life.
In real life, your throat feels closed up; your eyes burn with hot tears that want to spill out, and everything from your chest to your cheeks feels hot and swollen. In real life, it is not the daydreams but your nightmares that worm their way into your brain: those nightmares you have (yes, have, still--even this far down the line) where he hates you, where he tells you that you left him there like he’s nothing, where he throws back all your whispered conversations in the dark back in your face.
In real life, you can only stammer out, expecting the nightmarish worst: “Ren. I’m s…sorry. I’m sorry . I shouldn’t--I shouldn’t have --”
Ren raises his hand; his brows furrow again. He says your name, once, twice. Softer. Gentler. 
“It’s okay,” he says, low. You don’t know if he means that it’s okay that you left him (it isn’t, is it?) or that it’s going to be okay or that he’s okay or--
Ren must sense your upcoming lack of steady breathing, because he places one steady hand on your shoulder. The way he used to do, when you started thinking about the fact that you were going to die in that house, and it would be an awful death, and the thought of it made you want to tear into your own skin. 
It brings you back down to the ground, which only makes you want to cry for a different reason.
Ren’s face has a touch of sticky pity on it when he smiles at you. 
“Why don’t we go somewhere we can sit down and talk?” 
--
You are sitting in a coffee shop across the way from a fox man who used to be tortured with you in the basement of a serial killer's home that doubled as a snuff film studio. There are people around you, but they might as well be invisible, be nothing at all. 
Because every nerve in your body is focused squarely on Ren, sitting in front of you with a muted awkward expression as the pair of you wait silently for the barista to call up your order. 
Neither of you have spoken since you sat down.
Sweat is beginning to stick to your neck, but you don’t want to move without warning--don’t want to startle Ren. If you do, maybe he’ll run off, and… no. He wouldn’t run off now. You can tell. He’s not like he used to be, and neither are you. 
There are decades between you, and yet--and yet that thread is still there, isn’t it? You could never fully cut it. Maybe it pulled, instead. Pulled and pulled and eventually lost all of its slack on this unassuming afternoon, when the two of you met again in a bookstore. Reaching for books with cracked and weathered spines, lines creasing over the paper like scars on the skin.
Your scars. His scars. 
How many times have you traced over the marks on your skin? How many times has he? Maybe he didn’t do it anymore. Maybe he was in a much better space than you, and that’s why he looks so awkward and you feel like your heart is about to pound right out of its chest. Because he’s moved on and you, stupid thing, just woke up in the basement in the middle of a sunny afternoon.
His shoulders straighten; you imagine, under his hat, that his ears have perked. For a moment,, a familiar sensation washes through you. Danger. He’s coming down the stairs and it’s going to hurt.
But Strade is dead. And you are alive, and Ren is alive, and his attention only raised because the barista set both of your coffees down on the counter. Nothing more than that.
Slowly, the world seems like it regains its normal gravity. The sweat clinging to your neck feels silly and not ominous. You can breathe, and the world of the coffee shop seems to settle around you like it would have on any other day.
“I’ll get them,” Ren says, quietly, eyeing you with wariness–like he’s the one worried about you bolting. Fuck. He’s probably right to think that; a moment ago, you might have been the one to run.
Ren pauses after he stands up, and there’s something soft and sad in his eyes when he looks at you. Part of you thinks he’s about to say that he’s going to leave, that this was a mistake. But instead, his lips curl and the softest of smiles, and he asks:
“You still like cream and sugar?”
Oh. 
“Yes,” you say, automatically. But you don’t. Not anymore. Tastebuds change and you drink it black with no cream, when you do bother to drink it. It’s not worth correcting, and you don’t. You just watch as he grabs both cups and heads over to the counter on the far side of the coffee shop, where there’s oodles of sugars (and sugar substitutes); creamers; and little tins of milk to add to your drink. 
Then your phone vibrates, and the “fuck!” that comes out of your mouth is involuntary. It was about the time that you should have been heading home, bookstore stop  notwithstanding. What were you going to say to him? That you’d run into someone from your past that used to get tortured with you? That you remember what Ren looks like when his flesh is sliced into and pulled apart? 
You heading home? Took ground beef out for dinner. Tacos?
Your thumb hovers over the phone screen. You’re going to lie. You already know that. Even if you were ready to tell him about your past, it would not be like this. Even you, not particularly attuned to mobile etiquette, knew it was better to confess something like this in person. Although the temptation to confess it all and  add silly emojis to punctuate the gritty details was very strong.
Ran into an old friend , you type, finally. They want to hang out a bit. Tacos are fine, don’t wait up! Xoxoxo.
It feels so normal. And that’s okay, isn’t it? That you’re being normal right now. It’s a sign that you’ve come so far, if anything. And you’ll take any of those signs that you can manage to get, so when the text comes in–
Can’t wait to hear about it!
I don’t guarantee there will be tacos left. 
Kidding.
… Maybe.
–you let that normalcy wash over you, and it helps you settle as Ren returns, coffee mugs in hand.
His expression is lighter, too. He probably notices the weight off your shoulders, the way you’re trying to look interested and perhaps even excited to see him, rather than looking like you’re about to throw up on a half-empty stomach.
He slides your mug across the table and you can tell at a glance that it’s going to be sweet. A hesitant sip, your tongue curling back from the warmth and inevitable sugar, confirms it. Milky and creamy, just like you used to take it.
“Do you live around here?” Ren asks, taking a sip from his own mug.
Such an average question. It’s almost enough to make you snort. Really, you should be asking him when he got out of that basement and whether or not he ever thought about cutting you open and if he still had dreams, like you did.
Instead, he’s asking something you might ask an old high school friend that you haven’t seen in twenty years. 
Fuck. What a world you live in. 
Maybe he senses your thoughts. Maybe the two of you really are in tune from what you went through together. Because he cracks a smile, the edge of a sharp tooth showing. And then the smile spreads and turns into a little chuckle. It’s not the giggling snort he would sometimes fall into at the house. It’s something older and more reserved, but that shouldn’t surprise you. You’re the same way.
You take another sip of the coffee. It really is too sweet. That’s how you took it at the house, though. It was better to drown your sorrows in creamer and packets of sugar–pilfered from diners that Strade went to, sometimes to scope for victims–than mope about them all the time.
“I really am curious,” he says, voice light. “If you’re okay with telling me.” Something different in his tone. Offense, maybe? God, it’s strange, being on the lookout for what someone’s tone really means again. 
But it’s just Ren. You shouldn’t be so worried about it.
“It’s fine,” you say, just as light. “Yeah, maybe about half an hour away? I have a little house…”
Ren’s eyebrows raise. Not in surprise, exactly. But in interest. It relieves you, just a little, that he didn’t let out some sarcastic remark about having your own place away from him.
“Do you have a garden?” He asks. “You always did talk about getting one.”
A twinge in your heart. Bittersweet and old. Sometimes at night, when the two of you were allowed to curl up together, you would talk about a fantasy world. A world where you never came here; where you’d be and what you’d do. Sometimes, you’d be in a pretty little cottage with a pretty little garden in a pretty little town.
Well. Your garden is pretty, even if your house isn’t an adorable cottage and you live at the edge of sprawling suburbs where you have to drive 20 minutes to get to anything useful. Close enough?
You tell him about it. The house and the garden. You even tell him about your partner, and maybe his smile does quirk down a little, then. But you could be imagining it. 
“Do you have kids?” Ren asks, next. If he were anyone else, it would be a mundane question--the kind you ask every couple who's been together a while. In Ren, it feels different. Serious. Sincere. He tilts his head a little, taking another sip of his coffee, which prompts you to do the same.
Kids. Hah. It wasn’t like the thought had never crossed your mind. But it didn’t happen. For a lot of reasons, it didn’t happen. Mind and body and the basement worked against you, and maybe there was a part of you that was afraid to bring anything into the world, because you knew it could be taken away. Taken to someone’s basement and hurt and hurt and hurt –
Ren says your name.
Ren’s hand is on yours. 
You glance down at his hand–see a familiar scar, see that your hand underneath his is curled up and tense–and then look  up at his face. 
Oh, the passing of time. 
“Me neither,” he says, softly. Like he knows why you didn’t and couldn’t, and maybe he was the same way. 
It hurts too much to think about. So you clear your throat and slowly pull your hand away, letting it rest on the now cooling mug of coffee. You take another swig, despite it not being to your taste anymore. Ren really did put in a lot of creamer.
“What about you?”
His head tilts, almost slow, almost curious.
“Me?”
He blinks.
You blink back. 
“Do you live around here?” 
A smile–an Ahhh sort of smile. 
“No,” he says, simply. He shakes his head. “I travel a lot.” He nods his head. “For business.”
“Oh,” you say. “What sort of business?”
A flicker in his gaze. Something sharp and familiar. It’s gone too soon to matter. 
“This and that,” is all he says.
And there’s a strange sort of realization in your head. A fuzziness that seems to spread right to your scalp. This is all too casual, too normal. It’s not at all what it was supposed to be, when you met. Asking about homes and gardens and kids and what you do for work; fuck, you two had been tortured together. Had watched people die. Had helped other people die. 
This should have been about more than banal pleasantries. This should have been about reconnecting. About that thread between the two of you that couldn’t be cut, even now.
Maybe it’s that fuzziness in your scalp and maybe it’s the lurching of your heart, but you reach out your hand again towards Ren; your hand and your heart reaching and aching –
“Why did you run that day?” Soft and to the point. All the years have led to this question. 
The question drops your hand straight to the table. The thud feels harder than it sounds. What ease your heart had mellowed to earlier melts away entirely, and you can feel adrenaline beginning to pump, your heart pounding and racing. Your ears hurt.
Why did you run? It’s the question you wanted him to ask, isn’t it? The question that would lead to your big sappy explanation and apology and the sentimental hug before you two parted ways, perhaps with phone numbers in your pockets? 
But now that Ren is real again; now that he’s here, lines around his eyes and a touch of silver in his hair, you don’t know how to answer.
You ran because you were scared. Scared of people from Strade’s fucked up streams finding you in that house. Scared of Strade’s corpse rotting in the basement. Scared, too, of Ren. Of being chained to him, or by him, and you could never be sure which was more likely. 
You ran because you weren’t strong enough to face whatever was left behind for you in that fucking house. 
Thickness lodges in your throat but you swallow against it. This is not a daydream. This is real life. And you have to own up to what you did now. 
“Ren, I–” 
The words don’t come, because the world suddenly spins. The fuzziness prickling on your scalp, your ears ringing, your heart going too fast–this has all been too much for you, you should have known that. There are brief thoughts–heart attack, stroke, fuck, fuck, FUCK–and then Ren’s hand is gripping your upper arm so you don’t fall out of the chair. 
“Are you okay?” Your vision is clear enough to see the concern in his face. His brows furrow together and he looks around, telling someone– ”Yes, I'm going to get her home” --and you’re about to tell him not to take you to the hospital because your insurance has a high deductible for the emergency room when another dizzy spell hits you, and you’d rather be in debt than dead.
“Should I call an ambulance?” He asks, voice low, calming. Your mind latches onto it. You’re not alone, it’s going to be okay. Someone is here to take care of you, and if you have to go to the emergency room, well, it couldn't have happened at a better time.
Ambulances cost too much money, though, and Ren 
“Could you drive me?” Even as you talk, you know something’s wrong. The words come out too slow, a little slurry. Almost like you’re drunk. 
Ren starts to shake his head and your dizzy self makes a pitiful sound. 
You swear you can see Ren’s ears twitching underneath his hat. You don’t have the presence of mind to think about why–where and when he’s heard that pitiful whimper before–so you just cling to him as he gently pulls you out of your chair.
He grabs your purse and carefully leads you out of the shop. Someone holds the door open, and he tells them that you’re going to the emergency room, thank you for the concern. Your head swims and you might mumble thank you to them, too, but you’re not entirely sure. Are you dying? Is it a stroke? Will the last thing you texted the love of your life be about dinner? It’s funny in that awful, delirious sort of way.
“Ren?” You ask, helpless. You’re holding onto him as tightly as you can, but your fingers feel fuzzy. Your whole body feels fuzzy, actually. Heavy and strange. Drunk and leaden.
“It’s all right,” he murmurs. “Let’s get you into my car, all right?”
You don’t have the presence of mind to wonder why his car is already out on the curb, running, with a driver in the front seat. You aren’t coherent enough to think about things like that; but then, even before you drank the coffee cup laced with a sedative, you didn’t notice the black car following the pair of you down the road to the coffee shop. 
You didn’t notice it follow you to the bookstore, either, nor did you give it a second glance when it pulled out of the lot after you stopped in at the grocery store to pick up a few miscellaneous items.
You really had lost your touch after all these years.
Ren grips you carefully while he opens the back door to the car. It’s roomy, expensive. Clean black leather seats that probably don’t show stains. Up front, a driver sits, wearing a hat and sunglasses and a uniform.
There’s a brief thought–Jesus, what does Ren do for a living to afford this?--before Ren is helping you crawl into the backseat.
The movement only makes you dizzier, and you’re telling the person in the front seat, whoever they are, that you need to get to the nearest hospital please.
They don’t even turn to look at you. It’s strange. But then Ren is there in the backseat with you, and you’re mumbling the same thing to him. Rattling off your symptoms–dizzy, fuzzy, confused, tingling hands. You try to remember the test for a stroke but can’t.
Ren smiles at you.
Why is he smiling? That thought comes through loud and clear, but it doesn’t stick for very long.
“Ren,” you say, slurring. “The hospital, the nearest one is… I think it’s… you have to…”
And those words, difficult as they are to get out, slowly drop away. Because while your mind is not capable of many things right now, it is capable of registering something unusual.
Ren. 
He doesn’t look worried anymore. No more concern furrowing his brow, no more softness. 
Instead, he looks pleased. There’s a smug smile on his face, and you’ve seen it before, but it’s older now. Wiser. Less impulsive and more assured. 
A cat–a fox–that caught the canary. And you, what little remains of your logical mind tells you, are one dumb bird. 
And he knows that you know. Because he jerks his chin at the driver in the front, who must press some kind of button; the doors lock. Loud. Hard. Your numb hands fumble for the door handle but no matter how much you try to shove the door open, it doesn’t budge.
 You're locked in.
“Back to the hotel for now,” Ren says. Not to you. To the driver. Who–to your horror–begins to pull away from the curb.
“Oh, no–” You try to scream. It’s not quite loud enough. Not quite sharp enough. but maybe someone can see you, even through the tinted windows. Or they’ll hear you and tell someone, who will maybe tell someone else, who might call the cops. If you’re lucky.
Ren’s hand cups your mouth firmly. 
“Don’t waste your energy, you’ll need it soon.” The hand moves from your lips to your cheek, resting there. The look in Ren’s eyes is blurry–whatever he drugged you with is making it hard to focus–but you recognize bits of it, because you felt the same damn thing.
The awful mixture of nostalgia, regret and ache.
Maybe if you explain everything. Tell him why you ran. Apologize like hell. You won’t be hugging after this, but you won't be drugged up (what did he give you?) in the back of his car, either. 
“Ren– the hous e–I ran–I–let me explain, it–”
Ren’s hand trails back to your mouth. The sharp edges of his nails graze against your nose.
“Hush. We’ll talk about all that later.” 
Later?
Oh, fuck –
There’s an awful, stabbing pain in your thigh–you look down and see Ren pulling away a syringe with a bright silver needle.
Ren–you try to say his name, but when you open your mouth, nothing comes out. Your lips gape and close and words no longer form.
Your head is swimming now, all highs and lows, dipping and rising over waves that never seem to end. It’s like you're falling asleep in the worst way, hard and rocky.
Like you’re falling backwards down the basement stairs. 
Ren’s voice is the last thing you hear before you black out.
“Sweet dreams.” 
466 notes · View notes
boatboysrowout · 4 months ago
Note
please tell us more about the mall au, specifically etho and his pipe bomb, i need an entire thing of him running from the cops (i am your number one fan ignore that i only just found out about you that doesnt matter)
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hey guys. wanna hear about white castle pipe bomb c plot?
this may come as a surprise to some, but etho is a natural at customer service. he’s always been a pretty chill guy- it takes a lot to faze him, probably a consequence of his proclivity towards explosives in his early years. that calm exterior translates well to working the front desk of a local electronics repair store (not that he had needed a summer job, really, but doc and beef both went home for the summer, and someone kept leaving him visa-friendly job applications in every nook and cranny of his dorm- he found one in his cereal a few weeks before finals, and even that one had nothing on the one he found folded up in his toothpaste).
that being said, being good at customer service doesn’t mean that he’s completely immune to the agonies of said customer service. being good at customer service just means that after the eighteenth laptop he has to factory reset while a teenaged boy swears up and down he had not in fact clicked on a link for sexy singles in his area, etho’s able to wait until the boy leaves before attempting to gouge out his other eye.
he’s searching for a screwdriver when his phone buzzes with a text, and after a longing look at his toolbox etho flips his sign to closed and heads over to the white castle. he makes a quick stop at the arcade tango mans to set a new high score on the pinball machine, effectively guaranteeing tango will be glued to the pinball machine until he regains the top leaderboard spot, and then continues on his way to the white castle, spirits high. 
etho’s good mood abruptly vanishes after stepping into the white castle, as bdubs has apparently deemed etho’s delay in arrival unforgivable and is now withholding the free fries etho had been promised.
etho slumps himself over the front counter, not unlike a wet cat, and starts causing a scene, whining about his awful day full of idiot teens and potential self mutilation that can only be staved off with free food. bdubs staunchly ignores him and cleo threatens to pour hot oil on his head.
eventually actual paying customers come in and etho’s continued presence becomes a problem, so bdubs heaves a sigh and offers the fries to etho as long as he pays full price for them, to which etho, an extreme couponer, reacts appropriately.
etho’s eye narrows as he peels himself off of the front counter, demanding the fries free of charge. bdubs refuses. cleo smacks bdubs on the back of the head and tells him to just give etho the fries so he'll go away.
etho gives bdubs one last chance to give him the fries for free, and by the time bdubs physically removes him from the premises etho is already plotting his revenge and heading straight back to the art store to collect a favor.
(you see, somewhere between the fifth and eighth laptop etho had to factory reset, tango texted him that he managed to jailbreak the pinball machine to accept a quarter for unlimited plays, and etho abandoned his job immediately to take advantage of the incredible deal.  
that was his intention, anyway. but what happened is this: etho had never really shaken off the hold explosives have over him. after he’d been put on a five different government watchlists by the time he was seventeen he’d taken a step back and started focusing more on computing and getting into college and other projects that were less likely to necessitate seizure by the canadian government. he’s clean. he left that life behind him.
however. 
when the sound of an explosion comes from the cute little art shop as etho walks past, there’s not a second of hesitation before he swung the front doors open and entered the shop.
it hadn’t taken him long to locate the source of the explosion, following a trail of smoke down a half hidden flight of stairs to a door with a hastily scrawled sign on it reading 'SUPER TALL AND HANDSOME EMPLOYEES ONLY.’
etho opened the door, walking into what has to be the world’s most pathetic meth lab. in the corner there was a stack of cardboard boxes labeled NOT DRUGS/DEFINITELY LEGAL SUBSTANCES. beakers filled with unidentifiable substances were bubbling over onto the table. a laptop near etho’s foot displayed results for a google search of ‘how to tell if a cut needs stitches and also how long can you set yourself on fire without going to hospital.’
“THIS ISN’T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.” a man who etho vaguely recognized from grian's beginning of summer introductions had shouted, throwing his body over the contents of the table in a desperate attempt to hide the beakers from view. a few shattered under his weight and etho heard him stifle a whimper. “everything here is perfectly normal and also legal.”
breaking bad played quietly from a tv somewhere in the background.
etho raised an eyebrow.)
in the end, they manage to work out a deal: etho would not call the cops or tell anyone about joel's secret little operation and in return, joel owed etho a favor.
and now etho will cash that favor in.
(“so let me get this straight. you’re pissed your friend wouldn’t give you chips for free and your first instinct is to go to a meth lab and steal my meth supplies to get back at him.”
“failed meth lab. and yup.”
“there’s something wrong with you.”
“at least i know how to make meth.”
“wait, you what.”)
they start small. prank calls, anonymous yelp reviews calling the really loud cashier short, launching fireworks through the drive-thru window. it doesn’t take long for them to get bored with that though, which leads to bdubs walking into the white castle one morning to discover a horse standing in the middle of the lobby. 
the horse seems very at peace with the situation, wandering over to chew on bdub’s hair as he sputters and cleo ignores the situation entirely. bdubs is left with the task of removing the horse from the store, except the horse seems to be taller than the doorway and not particularly interested in leaving, so eventually bdubs is forced to give up. There’s just a horse in their lobby now. 
it doesn’t take bdubs very long to become attached to the horse, much to the detriment of cleo. she’s running the white castle single handedly by the end of the second day, serving customers and manning the kitchen while bdubs whispers sweet nothings to the horse in the makeshift horse stall he made in the women’s restroom. 
it’s pointless to try and reason with bdubs, so cleo makes her way over to the art store basement where joel and etho have set up their base of operations. ignoring the now functioning meth lab, she demands the horse be removed from the premises in exchange for a reasonable one free small fry per week. 
reasonable to cleo, and least. both jeol and etho scoff at her offer and demand at least one large fry per day each, to which cleo laughs in their faces. she doesn’t bother making a counter offer, simply turning on her heel and walking out of the basement. she pauses for a moment at the front of the shop to make sure she hadn’t been followed before grabbing her lighter from her pocket, casually flicking it on and taking a step towards the tissue paper.
by the time joel and etho notice something is amiss the fire department has arrived, and they’re barely able to hide the evidence of their operation before firefighters are breaking down the door, carrying them out through the art shop, entirely engulfed in flames. 
(“so in retrospect, ripping all the smoke detectors out of the ceiling probably wasn’t a great idea on your part.”
“how was i to know i was gonna get into a war with an arsonist, all i wanted to do was mind my own business and make meth!”
“fail at making meth.”
“shut up.”)
now relocated behind the counter at etho’s repair shop, joel and etho prepare their final attack.
the plan is simple: using supplies salvaged from the meth lab, etho will construct a smoke bomb and throw it through the white castle drive through window while joel takes advantage of the distraction and steals all the fries the white castle possesses.
making the smoke bomb is a piece of cake, and when joel isn't looking etho sneaks a few of his own more... volatile substances into his backpack. just in case.
joel enters the white castle and cleo immediately clocks him due to joel being the most suspicious person alive always, but she cannot be arsed to investigate. it’s been a long fucking week. joel knows what will happen if he messes with her.
bdubs, however, feels an impending sense of doom through his Etho Senses and rushes over to the drive-thru window and whips it open, immediately screaming at the sight of etho across the road winding up his arm with a smoke bomb in his hand.
and that’s when things really start to go wrong.
because here’s the thing: etho’s been missing an eye for most of his life. he knows his depth perception is shit. but he’s so caught up in the adrenaline of the moment, and bdubs screaming isn’t exactly helping him focus, and listen the baseball scene in canada isn’t exactly thriving-
all of this is to say that etho activates the smoke bomb, winds up, and promptly chucks it five feet to the left of the drive through window. it bounces off the side of the building and rolls to a stop against the tire of the car that had been pulling up to order.
several things happen in very quick succession:
1. the smoke bomb begins pouring out smoke, completely obscuring etho from view and flooding into the white castle
2. bdubs attempts to continue screaming but immediately regrets it as copious amounts of smoke invade his lungs
3. the car which had previously been pulling up to the drive through attempts to exit the scene as quickly as possible, but due to the aforementioned copious amounts of smoke misjudges where the road turns and makes a hard left directly into the wall of the white castle
the very same wall where bdubs had leashed his horse mere minutes before, and the very same wall joel had been creeping along.
the horse and joel are immediately flattened, and upon seeing this bdubs’ impassioned screaming reaches pitches previously unknown to man, and all hell breaks loose.
cleo starts cackling and arms herself with a makeshift flamethrower thrown together with hairspray and a personalized lighter. bdubs attempts to leap out of the drive-thu window but his foot gets stuck and he falls out of the building, crumpling to the ground in a still screaming heap before scrambling back up through the drive-thru window and into the fray. joel manages to claw his way out of the rubble, finds himself face to face with cleo and her flamethrower, and has half a second to regret the his and hers shrek mugs that trapped him in this stupid country before he’s running for his life. 
etho himself ends up sitting peacefully on the bench outside the white castle entrance, his mask helpfully filtering out most of the smoke. it’s lucky he grabbed some extra materials from joel’s lab really, he knew bdubs wouldn’t hand over the fries without a fight. 
he’s in the middle of assembling a device that’ll definitely get him put on the american government’s watchlist and ignoring the screams coming from inside when two men rush past him into the white castle, shouting something about justice and burgers. etho waits for a second, and almost immediately they come rushing back out. he waves at their retreating figures, one of whom he’s pretty sure is the theater kid that tried to put on a one man show of macbeth during welcome week.
etho wraps the fuse around his pipe bomb and stands up, brushing the debris off of his pants and strolling into the fray.
he finds bdubs almost immediately, the man standing on the counter and clearly audible even over the fire alarms and incessant swearing from joel and cleo, who now both have improvised flamethrowers and are duking it out in the kids play area. despite the smoke bduds and etho lock eyes instantly, bdubs paling a few shades when he sees what etho has in his hand.
bdubs jumps off the counter and attempts to run to etho, but is cut off by an entirely engulfed in flames joel. it seems that bdubs did not learn a single lesson about the flammability of his hair product from his run in with grian at the beginning of the summer, because his hair bursts into flames after the slightest brush from joel, and this time cleo isn’t standing nearby with a fire extinguisher.
it should be noted that most of the white castle is entirely engulfed in flames at this point. etho’s at the center of it all, cradling his pipe bomb like a baby and searching furiously for his promised free french fries. 
he’s stopped by cleo who meets his eyes, smiles wide, and lights the pipe bomb fuse. 
-
etho and cleo stare at the wreckage of the white castle. look at each other. look back at the rubble.
the sirens in the distance are distinctly closer now, and both etho and cleo abruptly realize how much evidence is contained on their person. 
“joel’s probably fine.” cleo says. “i saw him run into the walk in freezer after i burnt away the last of his clothes and hair.”
etho nods. “bdubs is too short to get crushed by rubble.”
cleo hums agreement. they stand side by side for a moment longer before cleo turns to etho.
“well, i won’t tell if you won’t.”
with that she turns on her heel and walks away. etho sticks around for a few more minutes, watching the flames die down and the last of the white castle crumble. he digs around in his pocket for a moment and pulls out a blackened handful of fries, yanking his mask down to shove them in his mouth as emergency services skid into the parking lot. 
sticking around turns out to be a mistake, etho quickly realizes, as his white hair reflects the light from the police cars and catches the attention of every officer there. he takes off at a sprint, pulling his mask back up and booking it straight into moving traffic, dodging cars and leaving the yells of the police officers and the rubble behind him.
and that’s the last anyone sees of etho that summer.
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(og link here!)
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seneon · 24 days ago
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HEARTS FOR SALE ──── grimmjow × female¡reader.
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about. a man purchases a heart with the desire to feel love. angst romance. contains blood, gore, a lot of bickering, and the aftermath of a gouged heart. wc of 3100+
notes. in a halloween collaboration with @luvlyycy !! this was such a fun collab even though we comically struggled at some parts 😭 had lots of fun with this. love our dynamics!!
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"hearts for sale! hearts for sale!" the voice of a young teenage girl said just as the people that passed by gave her scornful looks with her little business. hearts for sale. just as her illegal little business sounds, she sells hearts.
the young teenage girl is bold to be yelling that to passers-by. multiple people who passed her whispering to each other, it was awful really. although, some people would pass and glance at the teenage girl's business, admiring what she had for sale before simply walking away.
grimmjow jaegerjaquez came across her heart and pointed to her chest near the right side where the heart is supposedly placed.
"i want your heart," he says, his voice so flat and straight to the point where it sounded like metaphorical knives stabbing through the girl’s heart for sale. “you don't need it anymore, do you? give it to me.”
“m-mine?” she stutters out, eyes lowering down to his hand which was pointed at her chest. the words softly rung through her head, don't need it anymore. her hands clasp together, attempting to grin without her face saddening at the thought of losing her heart.
but he's right, she doesn't need it anymore.
“of course, sir! you can have my heart!” she shows him the price… which is definitely not cheap. grimmjow makes the purchase, yawning as he does so.
this is awful. he doesn't even care. before she thinks too hard, once again, she reminds herself.
she doesn't need it anymore.
“can i ask… why do you want my heart?” y/n asks as her curiosity grew larger than the fear of her heart being carved out of her body. to know the one reason for her heart being bought is an essential to her before she gouges it out for any other soul.
grimmjow’s gaze never ceased as they had been glued to her the entire time. his gaze that simply bore into her soul to seek a pricey organ lying around the area of her chest.
“i want to feel loved.”
oh. her lips fall into a saddened frown, already feeling quite similar to that one statement that slips from the man's mouth. she's not quite sure if her heart can offer him that comfort, but maybe she's just terrified of tearing her heart out and offering it to a stranger— just so he can feel loved. but this is her job.
“i..i see! well,” y/n's shaky eyes lowered down to her chest, still petrified at the mere thought of losing her heart and offering it to another.
“i hope my heart will suffice...”
she shuts her eyes for a moment, feeling her heart bump within her chest, pounding. he's already made the purchase, she reminds herself. plus, he's staring at her an awful lot, probably just waiting for the organ he needs from her chest, simply so he can feel love.
she shuts her eyes, lips shaking— ready to give him her heart.
grimmjow locked his azure gazed onto the organ that still beats at the life within. his hand is painted with the blood of the girl, the red fluid seeping into his fingernails and making their existence known into his body.
he moved his gaze to where the girl laid lifeless on the ground, a sickeningly kind smile portrayed on her face. it adds horror to the entire aspect of grimmjow wanting a real heart just to feel a speck of love and the girl who offered him her heart. his insides twisted at the sight before his fingers curled around the heart that eventually ceased to beat.
“this smile ..” grimmjow kneeled to trace y/n’s smile, her eyes that crinkled at the corner of her eyes. it was as if she had come out from a painting, a smile never fading even after her soul leaves the face of the earth.
he stares, wondering why he had thought that she was so.. ethereal. even though her eyes had clearly faded, her smile hadn't and for some odd reason it pulls desperately at his soul. he runs his thumb over her face for a moment, wondering what her personality was like off duty.
wondering why she gave him her heart when she'd just lose everything she worked for.
“stupid girl,” he huffs out, sparing a moment to gaze at her heart in hand, still beating— awfully slow. will this truly work? he figured it would, after all love is meant to share hearts, right? although, probably not literally.
he frowns, feeling the same as before. unloved. he stands to his feet, the blood from his hand dripping to the ground below— azure eyes still gazing at the girl he never met, yet is holding her heart.
grimmjow places his hand on his head, scratching it roughly in an attempt to forget his thoughts— she's just a weird girl who was selling hearts, not some sort of goddess. he frowns, as his eyes look back down at her smiling face— then away again.
just walk away. he takes one step before he looks back, his usual deadpanned eyes brightening for a moment as he gazes at the smile of the dead woman—
bump…bump……bump…
could a girl with a smile and such a kind heart, actually allow him to feel a speck of what he had never experienced?
when he glanced at the heart in the palm of his hands once again, something stirred within him. it pooled at the pit of his stomach, gradually making its way to stain his heart with confusing feelings and his mind with a desire to see y/n’s smile once again.
not the smile she has on right now, but a true smile that he could feel and touch as her lips moved. not the cold and frozen smile which was stuck in time.
his feet carried him back to where her lifeless body laid. a spot in her chest has been ripped out, flesh apart and blood kissing the air. grimmjow knelt down to hold her body in his arms, bringing her close just so he could set everything right.
the man's fingers dug their way through her flesh only to have her heart greet her body. her heart for sale is back to where it belonged. but at what cost?
she gasps, her smile fading into a panicked look on her face tears already brimming her waterline.
he stares. missing her tender smile, wanting to see it again he attempts to make her smile.
“i put it back.”
“what?” she gasps, placing her hand on her chest, still gasping— her heart beating faster than it ever has been. “why?” she asks, tears slipping from her eyes as she does so.
he panics for a moment, knowing he can't possibly tell her why. “dunno, jus’ didn't feel loved,” he huffs, releasing her from his arms and letting her awkwardly fall to the ground beneath her, the pool of blood soaking her clothes even more as she lay there.
she lays there, confused before leaning upwards, still attempting to catch her breath— “don't ask again.” he seethes, subtle blush upon his cheeks.
“so i’m alive.. somehow,” she trails off and places her hand on her chest where she feels her skin weave itself back together. she's still having difficulty breathing, but nonetheless she looks up at the man.
“does my heart not make you feel loved? have i failed?”
her words have grimmjow’s glares melting away. just a little bit though, as he knelt to her height to hold his hands out.
“get the hell up. you must've lacked love in your life, that's why i didn't feel shit.”
she frowns, grabbing ahold of his hands to help herself up. “me? lacking love? i'm not the one who bought a heart just to feel it!” she huffs out, crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance.
grimmjow groans, contemplating between pushing her back to the floor or just walking away, “you should give me my money back anyway, this shit is a scam.” he sneers, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
he watches as she smiles again, although this time in disbelief— “no refunds.”
he doesn't know if he should be mad, but he doesn't feel all that mad. he feels embarrassed, stupid— he should've kept her heart.
“shoulda kept ya dead. so fuckin’ annoying.” he adds salt to the injury by jamming his pinky into his ear, supposedly cause he doesn't wanna hear her speak anymore.
she frowns, placing her palms firmly on his chest and pushing— he barely budges but still looks at her, “you're a jerk. can't believe you out of all people had my heart.” she grumbles out. she looks like an angry hamster to him.
“eh? whatever, i can rip it out again if you'd like.”
he watches her face crimple in anger once more, “you're never gonna own my heart, ever again!” she yells at him, pushing him once more.
he makes a ‘tsk’ sound, ignoring all the stares from the civilians behind him. he wraps his hand firmly around her wrist and yanks her along, walking the way he was going before.
“let go! the fuck is your problem?!”
“if i can't have your heart to make me feel loved, then maybe your soul can do the trick.”
“my soul!? you can't even—”
“i’ll eat it. and if i can't do that, i’ll just keep you to myself. you're the refund for a failed heart,” grimmjow sternly said before loosening his grip on the girl's hands. his hands then cupped yours, holding you in such a sweet way that it murders the moth in him to bear new butterflies.
what an odd combination… he's holding the hand of the girl who offered him her heart where he paid for it. now the entire ordeal failed, and he's leading her to wherever he desires to go.
he could tell that she has nothing left to achieve in this miserable life of hers— given that she was selling the organ that keeps her alive. what's the harm in taking her with him? to keep her as his own?
y/n said nothing but allowed grimmjow to hold her hands, feeling his hands occasionally tightening around hers. his hands are warm, she noticed that. it feels like life on her skin. as if his warmth is spreading throughout her entire arm up to her body and to her poor abused heart just from his hands on hers alone.
why did she ever want to sell her heart away?
“what is your name?” she softly asks, and he replies, later finding it odd how his name rolls off her tongue like sweet and cold poetry.
“and yours?” he mumbles out, she responds and he carefully says her name— as if any moment it could break like glass.
after a long while of walking, they arrive to what seems like grimmjow’s house, or at least that's what y/n thinks. he yanks her along with him, stuffing her through doors and eventually pushing her into a room with a bed.
“don't even think about leaving, or you're dead. got it?”
she crossed her arms and sits on the bed, her body bouncing a little. she then proceeds to roll her eyes, just nodding in response.
“need to hear you say it. say yes or no.”
“yes.”
he slams the door on his way out, leaving her on her own within this unknown place and unknown room. she lays backward, splayed across the bed— eyes carefully scanning the room around her, clearly noticing this wasn't a guest room.
it was definitely grimmjow’s room. she notices it being fully decorated, albeit messy but decorated nonetheless. it's all white— with black accents, such as pillows or light blue decorations. her fingers trace his plain pillows as she thinks about how she got here and why he wanted to feel love so bad.
grimmjow re-enters the room, shutting the door behind him, he uses his hand— which now is covered in her dried blood— to push her aside, sitting beside her body.
he pushes a plate of food toward her. no words are exchanged, she just sits up, awkwardly glances at him and the food before she begins to eat.
it's not the best food, doesn't really taste that good, but at least she's eating and feeding her body.
“guess i'll be feeding your annoying ass for now. to keep your soul alive, or something.” he yawns, leaning back against his bed frame as it creaks obnoxiously. it makes y/n cringe a bit.
“your bed is more annoying than me.” she huffs, stuffing more of the poorly prepared food into her mouth.
his head makes a soft ‘thump’ against the wall as he gets comfortable, now watching her eat.
he can't cook, never could. but he would try and nobody would like or eat it, he never understood why. he prepared it the best he could every time, yet they would complain about taste or something weird.
she didn't complain.
he frowns. after y/n finishes the meal, he takes the plate and leaves once again.
as she gets comfortable, she hears the obnoxious sound of dishes being cleaned— it's loud, every second plates or something, clanking together.
she stares at the door, laying down after a few minutes.
he could've kidnapped anyone, why her? she sighs, eyes fluttering closed as she begins to think about what even got her in this situation. selling hearts, her heart. that was a terrible idea, but she desperately needed— still needs, the money.
she's poor. no family to remind her of home. in fact, she doesn't even have a home. she struggled for everything, having to fight, steal, and claw her way to survival within this terrible world.
to top it all off, now a weirdo kidnaps her— if he really can eat her soul, will it make either of them content?
the door swings open with a soft creak, grimmjow stomping over to his closet, grabbing a few stray pieces of clothing and throwing it directly at her face.
“you stink. you have blood all over you. shower," he points to his bathroom to her left.
she grabs the clothes from her face, looking at what he even gave her— plain black shirt and pants.
“wow, you have no sense of style.”
“wow, and you're a bitch. now go shower ‘fore i eat your fuckin’ soul.” he grumbles like the big brooding man he is, and y/n bites her tongue to withstand a witty comeback.
the thought of her heart being taken she can bare, but her soul being eaten? she's never even met someone who could do that, let alone be threatened with it.
she makes her way to the bathroom, grimmjow soon hearing the shower flutter to life as he now gets comfortable on his bed, removing his shoes and jacket— throwing it on a far chair in the corner, his jacket falling to the floor.
he crosses his arms behind his head, shutting his eyes as he waits.
in the shower lies the soft trails of cold blood and the warm water that mixes everything to make rosewater. it's the blood that seeps out through the little corners of her chest where her heart had been ripped out. now they flowed down along with the running water of the shower and down into the drains.
y/n’s eyes were as empty as they had been after her last breath. like a broken doll, she only functions whenever someone spins the hook that has her going.
in this case, grimmjow is the man who keeps her going. the moment she stepped into the shower her head hung low as her eyes gazed at the flowing blood at her feet. the shower water seemed to have roused the blood to flow like endless streams of tears that y/n cries out so silently.
her fingers twisted the shower shut, and she steps out to change into the clothes that grimmjow gave. the blood in her chest ceased, and life flickered in her eyes. she let out a sigh and looked at herself in the mirror of grimmjow's bathroom vanity.
“he mustn't know that my soul is dying too.”
grimmjow pops open an eye as he hears y/n make her way back into the room, a weak smile glazed upon her face.
“there, you look much better. less stinkier, ah?” he grins his stupid lopsided grin as he watches her slowly make her way to the bed, getting in. he just assumes she's tired.
she takes a tiny gasp, turning over on her side— facing away from him. . . he stares.
he awkwardly gets comfortable behind her, pulling the blanket over both of their bodies, “don't want ya runnin’ away.” he mumbles into the back of her hair, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her waist— hands splayed across her stomach.
she's breathing slow, shallow— he doesn't mind, at least her body is in his grasp— her or well, his, shirt damp as it sticks to her chest, near the right side.
he pats.
she hisses, sucking in a sharp breath— “don't touch my chest, weirdo.” she manages out, hands weakly grabbing ahold of his wrist to push him away.
grimmjow raises his hand, staring at the blotches of blood that seeped through her clothes.
“what the— what the hell is this…” he breathed out, eyes immediately darting to the girl whose gaze still avoided his. grimmjow sat up and slowly held her shoulders to pull her back where he could see her face.
and there it is, the empty gaze with the pool of blood that seeped through his bedsheets. disbelief washed over his face, and he snapped out to frantically shake y/n’s shoulders. incoherent profanities flew out of his mouth to keep her eyes opened.
but to no avail …
blood spills from her open mouth, a soft choking sound exiting from her gaping lips. his face scrunches in despair— soft pleads of begging her to open her eyes, say anything back to him.
but she doesn't.
he watches as her body goes limp in his arms, lips shivering with a feeling he's never felt before— pure regret. he regrets taking her heart out, he regrets putting it back. he regrets how mean he was, blaming himself for not realizing his mistakes earlier.
he whispers into her delicate cheek, trying his hardest not to let the tears spill from his eyes— he never wanted this to happen. he hugs her limp body, hand splayed across her cranium as he holds her close— eyes dark and careful as he watches her in her eternal sleep.
she's sent there because of him. she's gone forever and it's his fault.
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©SENEON × ©LUVLYYCY 2024 ♰ do not repost, alter, or translate both of our works. blessings from us both.
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inamindfarfaraway · 10 months ago
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The Exorcists’ Masks of Virtue
The vast majority of Exorcists in Hazbin Hotel have a notable design element that other angels don’t: their masks are missing an eye. Specifically, the right eye.
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I believe this is a reference to the Bible, Matthew 5:29. Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”
He’s being hyperbolic. Mr Free Healthcare was not pro-mutilation. What he means is that you have to be willing to make sacrifices to prevent sin. The context of the eye metaphor is him condemning adultery and warning that even something as easy, casual and small as a look full of lustful intent can lead to further, worse sin if you don’t notice your sin, hold yourself accountable for it and do the work to not let it influence your decisions. This will probably be hard. It could be very, very painful. Changing your perspective can feel as horrible as plucking out your eye, so many people can’t bring themselves to do it. But although it won’t feel that way in the moment, it’s healthier for our general wellbeing in the long run to abandon traits and behaviours that damage ourselves and/or others.
(You may notice that Jesus’s teaching that you can have sinned, redeem yourself by giving up sin and thus escape damnation is the founding principle of the Hazbin Hotel. You may also notice that it contradicts everything the Exorcists believe.)
The Exorcists seem to follow this idea of painfully excising badness for the sake of the greater good devoutly to the point of placing it above teachings like ‘Thou shalt not kill’, with their job being to remove sin, in the form of sinners, to protect Heaven. Hence the missing right eyes. They’re a declaration of moral righteousness and inability to stumble.
But the truth is that the Exorcists all have their right eyes. Their flawlessness is a facade. Underneath, they are untouched, think themselves morally untouchable and, as shown by their horror and outrage when even one of them is killed, would much rather be physically untouchable too. This perfectly represents their complete unwillingness to acknowledge their own faults, let alone improve. They are never the ones who sacrifice. They force the sinners to sacrifice and don’t compensate it with any salvation. They metaphorically rip out the sinners’ eyes, but still condemn their entire bodies as inherently, permanently sinful. So they’ll just have to do another Extermination to get the other eyes! And another one to cut off their right hands! And so on until there’s nothing left.
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The only exception to the rule is Vaggie, both in appearance and character. Her mask has the left eye crossed out instead. Even before her expulsion, she’s set apart to the audience as an Exorcist who has the capacity to, shall we say, see a different side of things. Her mask having its ‘sinful’ right eye reflects her understanding that the Exorcist worldview is wrong.
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When she almost kills a demon child, her hateful vision clears. She discards the part of herself that’s an unquestioning, merciless agent of death, terror and grief… and as punishment for what Lute perceives as treacherous weakness, gets her eye plucked out.
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Of course Lute leaves her with only the ‘sinful’ eye. It brands Vaggie forever as the inversion, a perversion, of what the Exorcists are meant to be.
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You know, all this talk of eye removal in the Bible reminds me of another line - ‘an eye for an eye’. Adam directly quotes it in “Hell is Forever”. He uses it to frame the Exterminations as Old Testament-style punitive justice; the sinners did harm and so they receive it. But putting aside the debate about how ethical the concept of revenge is, the entire point of taking an eye for an eye is that it’s proportional. The punishment fits the crime. If someone cuts your eye out, you shouldn’t murder their whole family in front of them and then slowly disembowel them to death. That would be the sin of wrath. You should just make them pay without excessive pain or collateral damage. This is the fairest form of revenge.
The Exorcists don’t do that! The Exterminations aren’t proportional to the wrongs of all they hurt, nor was Vaggie’s brutal punishment equivalent to her extremely mild insubordination. Lute literally takes Vaggie’s eye, and more, after Vaggie does nothing to her! That’s the opposite of the phrase! Adam and his soldiers are wrathful and cruel, deriving satisfaction from others’ suffering. But they just can’t stop going on and on about how disgustingly evil the sinners are, in total hypocrisy… despite some of the sinners being far better people than the genocidal Exorcists are… it’s like they’re obsessed with specks of dust in the sinners’ eyes when they have massive logs stuck in their own. Oh hey, that’s in the Bible too!
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moonfurthetemmie · 1 year ago
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I MEAN eating disorder I didn't really like know how to explain it but yk these people who torture other people by also giving them to eat bugs and etc ( Ughh ) STUFF LIKE TAT-
I had to specify that srry 😭
oh. I don’t think that that’s really an eating disorder tho
People in the world DO eat bugs regularly. Like, it’s a thing. They’re good sources of protein.
I could never; I come from a place where that’s not a common thing + bug phobia + very very picky eater with texture issues
But pretty much anything you think is gross that won’t actually hurt you to eat is something that people DO eat somewhere in the world. And there are people who’d eat damn near anything. There’s all sorts of weird ass foods out there that are nothing like the food you eat, but other people think are delicious.
I think casseroles are revolting. It’s a relatively common thing here.
Pierogis are really really not my thing, but I know a lot of people who think they’re good.
I don’t go to Asian restaurants often because the food they have is usually so different from “normal” American food that I can’t stand it. And of course, this stuff is still pretty American-ized. I’d probably have a harder time eating actual Chinese food in China than Chinese food from the Chinese place down the road.
I mean, what you’re talking about may result in an eating disorder if it’s done over a long period of time (the victim avoids eating at all and can no longer stomach food at all), but I’m not a psychologist and idk how exactly that would work. And the person would have to be a certain type of person for it to actually be torture and not just an EXTREMELY unpleasant situation (or even just a really weird situation; like I said, some people will try just about anything)
that’d still be Gouge’s jurisdiction tho NEJSJS
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deakyjoe · 2 years ago
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Somebody’s Watching Me Part 2
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Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader (she/her pronouns used, reader is implied British and given backstory)
Category: I still don’t know but it’s coming together
Summary: On a night out with your friends, you’re pleasantly surprised to run into your secret observer.
Warnings: flirting (Ghost and reader getting some action, they deserve it), mentions of war/death, talks of scars, alcohol consumption, Ghost being normal AND weird, the mask is off again, Ghost doing domestic things almost (socialisation in a pub), sexual references, family issues, reader’s friends are intense, British terminology/slang, swearing/cursing, dialogue heavy, minute Soap slander (I love him but couldn’t resist)
Word Count: 5.5k (longer than part 1)
A/N: After the love I got for part 1, I decided to continue so Simon is still my babygirl. Please remember that if Simon feels out of character, that’s the point of this story. It’s him when he’s not being Ghost but being forced to mix aspects of his life at home and his life at work - the work aspects being reader. Also he’s going out of his comfort zone to please the sergeant (you) because he likes you but just hasn’t really realised it yet. Not entirely sure I’m as pleased with this part as I was with the first but we’re posting anyway!
Part 1 available here.
Part 3 available here.
It took weeks before your friends finally managed to convince you to join them on a night out. You'd been putting it off for a number of reasons. One being that the thought of socialising in a crowded environment had you wanting to gouge your eyes out as you'd grown used to little to no company. Another being that you genuinely thought it'd be overwhelming and you might have a panic attack.
But after they'd assured you that they'd look after you and you could all leave if it got to be too much, you relented and organised a time and place with them. Just your local pub on a Wednesday night. You'd decided on a Wednesday as you hoped it wouldn't be too crowded and that your friends might need a pick-me-up in the middle of their work weeks. They agreed quickly with the idea.
And honestly it'd been nice for the most part. You'd arrived early, you swear active duty had made you so time efficient that you spent almost no time at all getting ready, and sat down at a table in the corner, out of sights of the most of the rest of the pub. The only thing in direct eye line was the bar itself which would come in handy when you needed to go up and order drinks.
Your friends all slowly arrived, none of them being too late, and gave you big greetings as they hadn't seen you in "forever" they claimed. You returned hugs and kisses and prepared yourself for a night of bombarding questions and retelling of war stories.
A couple of your girlfriends were bought drinks by guys at the bar and you watched on in amusement as they giggled about it together. They assured you that someone would probably buy you a drink if you asked but you waved them off saying you didn't care, which you didn't.
You listened intently as they all told you what was happening with their lives - work, significant others, kids, families, pets, parties, weddings, funerals, birthdays, anything and everything you could possibly imagine. A note of envy settled in your stomach at one point but it went away quickly when you told yourself you were being silly.
Telling them about your life was slightly more complicated. You had to skirt around some of the details of your job as it was classified and would probably horrify them if they knew what you truly did. You gushed about some of the amazing people you'd met and mentioned casually that you'd actually bumped into your lieutenant in the supermarket. They all absorbed it with wide eyes of wonder and amazement, each of them having at least one question to ask.
"So, wait, you can actually shoot a gun?"
"Does it bother you having to bunk with a bunch of blokes?"
“What’s said country like?”
"Are any of them fit?"
"Isn't it tiring?"
"How long until you go back?"
"Met anyone you fancy?"
"Hang on, you have to share a communal bathroom?"
Yes, it's alright, not really, they're okay, very, not sure, oh my god, yeah.
They never really seemed satisfied with your answers and always wanted you to elaborate. Which you did if possible.
Overall, it was nice. There was no sense of impending doom or a weird feeling in your stomach about the whole thing. You let your guard down just enough for once to attempt to have a good time. Which you did. You laughed, you chatted, you drank, it was good.
Until the bar tender came over with a drink that looked exactly like what you usually ordered.
And when he placed it in front of you, you wanted to throw up.
"Fella at the bar bought this for you."
This was it. The moment in the night that you looked forward to the least and the moment your friends had been encouraging the most. They insisted that you needed to "put yourself out there more" and “try to get laid at some point”. You were "too uptight" as they put it. Little did they know that you weren't really interested in a quick shag or even a relationship with anyone at the moment. And rejecting someone was always awful. Every time they asked why and having to explain that your job made romantic entanglements extremely hard made things awkward.
"Ooh, this is so exciting!" One of your friends squealed beside you, frantically searching the bar for the culprit. "Which one?"
“Blond one.”
Oh.
"Tall."
My.
"Scars on his face."
God.
Your eyes shot towards the bar and immediately landed on him. Of course he was already looking your way with his drink raised to you.
"Shit." You cursed, silently letting out a sigh of relief that it wasn't someone you'd have to reject but all the more anxious because it was him. A part of you was very excited to see him though.
"What is it? Do you know him?" Another friend asked you.
"He's my lieutenant. Fuck." You stood from your seat, grabbing the drink.
"The one from the shops?"
"Yeah. I'll be back in a minute, guys. I'm just gonna go say hi." You explained, slowly making your way towards Ghost.
"Take your time!"
You hadn't seen your lieutenant since he'd gone over to your place for tea. It was a weird experience. Weirder than the shops. You'd had a couple cups of tea each, shared his packet of chocolate digestive biscuits, which he'd kindly offered to you, chatted a little more and then he'd left. You didn't exchange phone numbers or even offer to see each other again. He didn't because he probably didn't want to and you didn't because you thought he probably wouldn't want to. So you'd gone your separate ways and that was that.
As you got closer to him, you wished you hadn't had so much to drink. You weren't drunk but you weren’t sober either. Kind of just bordering the edges between being buzzed and tipsy.
"Simon."
He turned so his body was facing yours, his large frame consumed the stool he was sitting on. Intimidating and alluring all at once. "Sergeant."
"You really should start calling me by my name." You sighed, stopping to stand in front of him.
"I like calling you sergeant."
"And I liked calling you lieutenant." You shot back, taking a sip of your drink despite your head screaming at you not to.
"Bet you like calling me Simon more."
Your eyes widened at his statement. He wasn't wrong but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that. "Thanks for the drink, by the way."
"It's no problem. Thought I owed you for the bourbon."
You hummed in agreement but said nothing.
"Friends of yours?" He nodded towards your table where all of them were watching the two of you interact intently.
"Uh, yeah. First night out since being home so..." You shrugged.
"Having fun?"
"I was." You regretted your words immediately, knowing that you’d been insensitive.
"Ruined it, did I?" He asked but it wasn't malicious.
"No. Just... unexpected."
He nodded. "So, which one's your boyfriend?"
You were surprised at the question. Last time he'd enquired about your personal life it hadn't gone so well.
"You live alone?"
"Yeah. Used to have a hamster but he died a few months back."
He blinked at you and said nothing so you rushed off to make tea, desperately trying to come up with a new topic to talk about when you got back to him.
"That's presumptuous of you, lieutenant."
"Just making conversation with you, sergeant." The return of dropping rank had you tingling inside. Might have just been the alcohol though.
You huffed. "None of them."
"Girlfriend then?"
You shook your head. "Nope."
"Sorry soul you're torturing with your affection couldn't make it then? What a shame." His eyes narrowed, you presumed he was joking.
"I'll ignore that insult. I'm single." Setting your drink on the surface of the bar, you leant your hip against the side but not before taking a step closer to him.
"Lucky for the world then that you're not burdening anyone with yourself."
"Jesus, Simon." You laughed out of shock, struck with his bluntness.
"Had to be said."
"Huh, you really are a charmer." You flashed him a glimpse of your teeth in a small smile, brows raising on the last word of your sentence.
"I try my best.” Pause. “Why are you single?"
"Because my affection is a burden apparently." Repeating his own words back to him seemed better than explaining your depressing void of no romance in your life because of your job. But maybe he’d understand.
"I'm serious."
"Why do you care?"
Simon didn’t strike you as the kind of person who gave a shit about the love lives of people he worked with. So why did he seem so interested in yours?
He didn't answer straight away and when he did, it seemed rehearsed. "You're my sergeant, part of my team. It's my role to care."
"To make sure I stay alive. Not to inquire about my love life." You were properly frowning at him now.
Ghost raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry I asked."
With a sigh, you relented. "The job."
"Go on…"
"Makes it difficult. The job makes it difficult to date. Especially civilians." You added the last bit on with clenched teeth. It didn’t really matter. Civilians were not on your romantic radar.
"Would you want to date a civilian?"
He saw straight through you.
"No, not really."
"Hmm."
You wanted to avoid discussing the topic any further so asked a question to change the subject. "What're you drinking?"
"Scotch that Soap recommended."
"And?"
He swished the glass around, the ice clinking against the side. "Utter shite."
"Figures." You took a long look at his drink. “You drink it on the rocks.”
“Tastes better cold. Less shit.”
“That your second glass?”
"Monitoring my alcohol intake, sergeant?” He asked and you shook your head as he looked you up and down. “You gonna take a seat or just stand there all day?"
"I'm supposed to be going back to my friends." You gestured weakly over your shoulder with your thumb, kind of forgetting they’d still been there until that moment.
His eyes flickered between the table and you. "Think we both know that isn't happening any time soon."
You hated how he saw straight through you. "Do we?"
"We do. Take a seat, sergeant." He nodded towards the stool next to him.
You stood up straighter, making a point to look directly into his eyes. "I like being eye level with you."
His foot hooked around the back of your legs and tugged you closer to him. "Think you'll find that I've still got a couple inches on you."
Your skin flushed hot, he was so close to you. You reached out and tapped his chest a couple times before realising what you were doing and removed your hand. "Think you'll find that you've had a bit too much to drink, sir."
"Simon. Thought we'd established that you can call me Simon." He leant back a little bit, relaxing in his seat. “And thought we agreed that you weren’t monitoring my alcohol intake.”
"Sorry." You squeaked.
"Sorry who?"
With a smile, you looked up at him through your lashes. You already knew what you were going to say. "Sorry... Lieutenant Riley."
He smiled. Actually smiled. It was small but it was unmistakable. "Brat."
He was beautiful when he smiled. He was always beautiful but when Simon Riley smiled… he was radiant.
You lit up at the smile but glowered at the insult. "Simon!"
"It's true." He shrugged, taking another mouthful of his drink and wincing at the taste.
"I'm stubborn. Not a brat."
"Believe me, I know you're stubborn. You've almost died like twelve times because you're stubborn. Had to save you every time." He shook his head as if it were a grievance to him.
"Could've left me behind."
"Couldn't do that. I'm your lieutenant, remember? My role is to keep you alive."
"I'm sure Price would let it slide if you had good enough reason." You thought about your Captain and wondered if he'd let you die for a good enough cause. Probably. But you held no resentment towards that fact.
Simon's head tilted to the side as he watched you think. "Don't think he'd accept brat as a reason, hm?"
You raised a finger to correct him. "Stubborn. Not a brat."
"Definitely a brat."
"Stop calling me that." You whined.
"That was the brattiest thing you've ever said. In the brattiest voice." He glared down at you. "You whined."
"You're such a dickhead, Simon." You scoffed but it was clear you were holding back a smile.
"And you're a brat. Guess we're even."
"Okay, I'm going back to my friends. To get away from this targeted attack." You paused. "Unless you want to join."
"I'll pass."
"I guessed. Do you have any friends? Maybe you could use the socialisation." You offered, wondering whether the man ever spoke to anyone when he was home or if he completely isolated himself from the rest of the world.
"Don't have friends for a reason."
That answered that for you.
"And what's that?"
"Ask too many personal questions."
He had a valid point. People did ask too many personal questions and you could understand why someone like Simon wouldn't like that.
"They wouldn't. My friends. They know we tend to be... private."
"You're a sergeant and I'm a lieutenant. Neither of us are privates." He paused to let the joke settle in. "A little army humour."
"I got it. That was good." You beamed at him, eyes crinkling in the corners at his quip.
"How much do they know of what we do?" He nodded in the direction of your friends.
You thought it over for a moment. "Very little. They know more about my teammates than anything else. Even that is limited."
He stiffened at that. "What do they know of me?"
"My quiet lieutenant with no face. Until recently." You let your eyes roam his features, taking all of him in. He was remarkable to look at really. But you'd never voice that to him.
"Hmm."
"There's more but I won't divulge with you." It was a partial joke to mess with him a little. There was some truth behind it however. You may or may not have gushed about your lieutenant to your friends. But that was nothing really. Just friendly appreciation for the man who outranked you.
"That makes me nervous."
Playing with him was too easy and too fun. "You should be."
"I'm reconsidering sitting with you and your friends now." He frowned but wasn't completely serious.
That surprised you. "You were going to?"
"Maybe." He drank more of the Scotch and trembled. "Christ, this stuff is fucking disgusting."
"Order a bourbon, something you know you actually like." You sighed. "Please do. If they're too much we can leave."
"We?" He was always questioning we.
You rolled your eyes at him. "It's always we. Teammates, y'know?"
A level of unsureness settled over his face. "I know."
"Get used to a lot of we then."
"Don't plan on seeing you again after this." The admittance stung but you weren't going to let that stop you.
"I'm sure you thought that last time as well. But here we are. Are you stalking me?" There was a hint of genuineness in the question. There was no way this second chance encounter was pure coincidence.
He shook his head, waving the bar tender over and ordering a bourbon like you'd suggested. "You're too boring for that."
"You have such a way with words. Really know how to make a lady feel special." You said dryly.
"It's a gift." He scratched at the side of his nose, absentmindedly trailing a finger over one of his scars in the process.
"They wouldn't say anything, y'know? Or stare. If you're worried about that. I've come home with my fair share of scars over the years. They understand." You pulled the neckline of your shirt to the side to show off an old bullet wound that had scarred over on your collar bone.
Simon's eyes lingered on the mark on your skin but you couldn't quite read his expression. "People always stare."
"I don't."
"No, you don't." He hesitated. "Okay then."
"Wait, really?" You perked up.
"Yes, really. Quickly. Before I change my mind, sergeant." He rose from his seat, grabbing his drink and gesturing for you to go first.
You gazed up at him. It really was easy to forget just how big he was. "Quick question first?"
He didn't seem keen. "Go ahead."
"How long were you here watching me before you sent the drink over?" You really needed to know, to see how out of it you were.
"Not long." Lie.
Your brow furrowed. "How long, Simon?"
"About forty minutes."
Your eyes widened. You didn't expect it to have been that long. "Fort- Jesus. And I didn't notice you?"
He brushed you off with a small shrug. "You were having fun. Guard was down."
"Still."
"Don't dwell on it. I was just going to leave and not let you know I was here." His eyes moved away from you, the opposite side of his eye contact problem showing.
You ducked to the side to meet his gaze again. "Why didn't you?"
He shrugged again.
You offered him a small slip of affection, just the tiniest thing. "I'm glad you didn't."
He grunted in reply, which was more than you were expecting. So, you just gestured for him to follow you towards the table of your friends where you stopped short a couple feet away. You sent a quick glance over your shoulder to make sure that Simon was still, in fact, there and hadn't pulled a Ghost and disappeared. But he was still standing there watching you when you checked. Which meant it was time for introductions... which you sucked at.
"Everybody, this is Simon. My lieutenant. Simon this is... everybody." You frowned at the crowded table in front of you. "You'll pick up names. It's alright that he joins us, yeah?"
“Of course.”
"Yeah."
"Oh, my god, yes."
"Take a seat, mate."
"Where you from, Simon?"
"Manchester."
"Ugh, he's a Manc! Moving on!"
You laughed as you squeezed into the booth with Simon next to you, trying not to touch him too much. "What did I miss? What are we talking about?"
"My husband is cheating on me." One of your friends announced dramatically.
Your eyes widened at the confession. "What? Really?"
"I suspect he is." She pouted, slumping forward onto the table.
"As if. He worships the ground you walk on. As he should. What makes you think he's cheating?" You debated whether this was a good topic to be talking about with your lieutenant sat right there. But then you figured that Simon needed some friends. And what was a better way to make friends than through some old-fashioned gossip?
"Late nights as work. Going to the gym a lot. He's not getting any fitter either."
You winced. "Ah, well that is quite damning."
"Yeah. I'm trying to build up the courage to just ask him about it."
"Yeah, confront him. If he's cheating then come to me. I know how to use a gun and hide a body." You winked at her.
"Sergeant." Simon's warning tone came from beside you.
"I'm kidding, lieutenant." You looked to your friend again and mouthed. "I'm not."
Another one of your friends spoke up, leaning on the table on his elbows. "God, you guys are so formal. Even during leave."
"We don't have to be. He refuses to call me anything other than sergeant. I think it's because he secretly doesn't know my name." You nudged Simon with your elbow and then, realising what you'd done, pulled back quickly. Maybe taking a break from the drink would be a good idea for a while.
"Not true." Ghost shook his head slowly.
"So you claim. Yet you've yet to refer to me as anything other than sergeant."
"It's fun watching you squirm thinking you have to be on your best behaviour all the time." He sent you a sly smirk, his eyes squinting just the tiniest bit.
Your jaw dropped. "I'm asking Price to reassign me. This is bullying."
"Wouldn't let Price do it." He countered, leaning in dangerously close.
"Who's Price?"
The both of you pulled back at the question and answered simultaneously. "Captain."
"Ah, okay. The one with the mutton chops, right?" One friend offered.
You nodded. "Right."
Simon huffed. "That's what you told them about Price?"
"It's his best feature."
"Christ, woman." He groaned, rubbing a hand across his face.
"Ooh, woman's a new one."
A friend volunteered in your defence. "To be fair, she's not allowed to tell us much. She usually gives us one identifying feature of every person she tells us about. So we can keep up."
"I'm assuming Soap is the fact that he's Scottish."
"Scottish with Mohawk. He gets two."
"What's Gaz?"
"Baby of the team."
"Fitting. Me?"
You stayed silent.
"What is it?"
You shook your head. "Can't say. Classified."
"Sergeant." His voice was harsh, demanding.
But you weren’t going to give in. "Lieutenant."
"I won't be insulted." His voice dropped to its familiar bored tone, as if trying to force the idea that it wouldn’t bother him.
That’s not what concerned you however. "Don't think you would be."
"Then why can't you tell me?”
"Just can't." Stellar reasoning, well done.
"I could ask them." He tilted his head in the direction of your friends, who were all watching you completely enraptured.
You didn’t back down, stare hardening at him. "Go ahead."
"Fine." He turned to the table. "What's my identifying feature?"
There was a moment of silence before someone gave in and admitted it. Traitors. "You don't have one."
There was a split second of delay before he replied. "She doesn't talk about me then?"
"Quite the opposite actually." One of your friends giggled.
Another stepped in. "Talks about you sooo much that you don't need an identifying feature. Just know who her lieutenant is."
"Besides, apparently you usually wear a mask. You have no features."
A raised finger of a counterpoint. "Arguably, the mask is the feature."
Ghost turned to you, almost smug. "You talk about me, sergeant?"
"Don't flatter yourself, Simon. You're good at what you do. I can appreciate that." You sniffed, rolling your shoulders back to force yourself to relax.
"Out loud? With your friends?"
You shot him an irritated look. "Get over yourself."
"Didn't say anything."
You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "I know what you're thinking."
"I'm sure you do." He exhaled deeply, glancing away from you towards his drink.
Your own gaze moved back towards everyone else around the table. "Moving on! What else is happening with you guys?"
"Saw your parents a couple days ago. They said they didn't know you were home."
Well, that wasn’t the jollier topic you hoped to move on to.
A fake smile automatically set itself on your face at the mention of your family. "Fuck. What did you say?"
"Lied for you and said you only just got back. Might want to call them."
"I will do that. At some point.” Lie, lie, lie.
"Mhm, your sister had another baby as well. That's what? The fourth niece or nephew you haven't met?" There was a note of condescension in your friend’s voice.
You shrugged, knowing you had a decent enough reason. If your job counted as decent. "I've been busy. And it's only the second."
"We're not judging. Your parents might be though."
"Well, that's lovely to know." You slouched down in your seat. The relationship with your parents was… touchy, to say the least. Desperately seeking their approval for years had left the bond with them strained. And you being away from home so often definitely hadn’t helped the rockiness of it all.
"Also they seem convinced that you've met a military man and are going to come home engaged or married..."
Your face scrunched in disgust. "Oh, ew. What the fuck?"
Simon elbowed you harshly in the ribs. "We're not that bad."
"Share a bunk with Soap and come back to me on that." You snapped back. Your fellow sergeant was a snorer who regularly farted in his sleep. He was like your brother but man did you hate having to sleep in close proximity to him.
"Fair point.” He grumbled back to you. “But why are they under that impression?"
"They know I don't date civilians."
"Or anyone." One of your friends mumbled in her drink.
"Thank you.” You sent her a sarcastic smile. “So they think I'm after a man in uniform."
"Aren't you?" The same friend asked.
You closed your eyes and clenched your jaw. "In... theory."
"Not in practice though." She carried on, loving the way you were squirming.
"We know not in practice, okay? Doesn't need to be said aloud.” You spared a glance at the man beside you before adding a harsh whisper. “Especially in front of my lieutenant."
"I'm sure Simon is loving this."
"It comes with the job. Family troubles and no love life." He offered some of your words back to you from earlier, shrugging. You were glad of the support from him, even if it was only your own thoughts.
"You got any friends for her Simon? Anyone on the team you think she'd be good with?"
He shook his head. "Nah, not good enough for her."
Wait, what? Not good enough? For you? Since when did he have such a high opinion of you?
A friend of yours cooed. "That's sweet. If it helps, she's great in the sack."
You choked on the mouthful of drink you were taking, slamming your glass back down. "And how exactly would you know that?!"
"I shared a house with you in uni, babes. I remember all those guys coming out of your room with dazed smiles looking as if they'd just had the time of their life." She grinned at you slyly.
Eyes wide. Jaw dropped. Heart racing. "Oh, my god. Please shut up."
"You asked."
"I didn't need such a detailed answer!” You were ignored.
"Although you may be quite rusty at the moment. It's been a while, hasn't it?"
You covered your face with your hands. "For the love of everything that is good in this world, please be quiet."
"I'm just saying. We're all friends here, aren't we?" She laughed, mainly gesturing towards your higher up.
"He's my lieutenant!"
"Wait, Simon, are you single?"
You cut in before it could go any further. "Nope! Okay! So... sister? Baby. Parents? Delusional. What else?"
Everyone around the table chuckled at your reaction but moved on anyway, much to your relief.
"They're hoping you’re home for Christmas this year."
Your hand tightened around your drink. "I hope I'm not."
"Thought you'd say that."
Paying little attention to what your friend actually said, you mumbled to yourself. "That's fucking ridiculous of them. What the actual fuck?"
"We said the same." Mumbled loud enough for them to overhear apparently.
Simon looked confused. "What's the issue there?"
You failed to answer so someone else did for you. "They uninvited her to Christmas three years ago. Hasn't been back since."
"Why would they do that?"
"Didn't approve of her lifestyle."
He turned to you. "Your... lifestyle?"
"Murderer daughter." You bit back, bitterly.
His body tightened with tension. "You're not a murderer."
"Tell them that." You snorted. "Why do they want me home now?"
"Beats us.” Your friends said in weird unison.
"Wish they'd make their mind up over whether they want to disown me or not. It's exhausting trying to keep up."
The table laughed at that. Simon did not. But did he laugh at anything?
“I’m gonna get another drink. Want one?” He looked down at you, pointing vaguely at your almost empty glass.
“Uhh… sure. Thanks.” You smiled at him, which he obviously didn’t return. After briefly asking everyone else if they wanted anything, which they declined, he stalked off in the direction of the bar.
Once he was a few paces away, one of your friends practically launched herself halfway across the table and lowered her voice to a hushed whisper. "He's gorgeous, babes."
You decided to play coy. "You think?"
"You don't?" Her brow was raised in disbelieving accusation.
The coy act was dropped pretty quickly. "Oh, I know he is. Just didn't think you would."
"Well, I do. And he’s definitely your type, absolutely perfect for you. Plus he so likes you."
You scoffed. "No, he doesn't."
"He fancies the pants off of you!" She insisted.
You didn’t buy it. "I can guarantee that he does not."
"He can't take his eyes off you!"
"He has a staring problem." You shrugged, it was true.
"Yeah, the problem is that he can't stop staring at you."
You thought about it. Yeah, he stared at you a lot. But he stared at everything. Didn't mean he stared at you with... feelings or whatever your friends were implying. Just that he had a staring problem.
"Lieutenant Simon Riley does not like me." It was a finalised statement, one that you believed wholeheartedly.
"Open your eyes, babes. He likes you."
"Do you like him?"
Avoid answering. "Not allowed to like him. He's my lieutenant."
"That doesn't answer our question."
Shit.
"Maybe a little." You pinched your fingers together, there was no point lying to them, and shook your head. "Doesn't matter anyway."
"Why?"
"Because, say he did like me, he'd never admit it. And I'm not going to push him into anything. I'm just glad he's talking to me and accepting my attempt at us being friends." That was true. You were loving how he wasn’t completely rejecting your friendship. He maybe wasn’t embracing it but he wasn’t pushing you away either.
"That's so sad, babes."
"Cheers.” You deadpanned. “It can't happen anyway."
"Why not?"
"Relationships aren't allowed. Makes us a liability. My captain would reassign one of us as soon as he caught wind of it. And it would be me." The thought of Price reassigning you was horrid. You loved your team more than anything.
"Simon said he wouldn't let your captain reassign you."
That was true, he did. "He was joking... I think."
"I don't think he was. That man stares at you like he's ready to eat you. It's like listening to Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen in real life!"
Groan. "You watched Dirty Dancing again, didn't you?"
"Yes, but that's not the point. The point is that Simon looks at you with hungry eyes. And don't judge my love for Dirty Dancing." Two of your friends nodded in agreement with her.
"I'm not. I'm judging your favourite song choice when Love Is Strange by Mickey and Sylvia is clearly the superior song on the soundtrack." You said as you downed the last bit of your drink, thankful Simon was bringing you another one. Your mouth was dry and the initial buzz was wearing off. You’d need more alcohol if this interrogation was going to continue despite it probably not being the best idea.
"Blasphemy!” She declared before quietening herself. “Oop, we gotta be quiet now because he's coming back over. Simon!"
He froze in his tracks, a glass clasped in each large hand. "Yes?"
"Can you settle a debate for us?"
You froze too, wide-eyed. They weren't going to ask about him staring at you, were they?
"Sure...?"
You smiled at his unsure tone. Big, scary man who got shot at for a living was terrified of answering a little question.
"You've seen Dirty Dancing, yeah?"
You relaxed.
"I have."
Surprising.
"Which is a better song? Hungry Eyes or Love Is Strange?"
"Oh, I... uh-"
"Leave the poor man alone." You laughed despite being a little curious about his music taste.
"I always liked She's Like the Wind."
That shocked you to your core. "Patrick Swayze fan?"
"Used to have a mullet just like his." He placed your drink in front of you. "Here you go. You look surprised."
"I always am when you don't disappear. And when you admit to being a Patrick Swayze fan." You snorted, taking the drink from him.
"Learn to have a little faith, Sarge." He sighed as he sat down next to you again, an inch closer than before you were sure.
A burning feeling settled in your chest at the nickname. Sure, it was only a shortened version of your rank, and a common one at that, but it was something. Not sergeant. Not woman. Sarge. You decided to let it slide to see if he’d ever do it again of his own accord.
"Your name's Ghost for a reason." You sing-songed, the image of his mask flashing through your mind.
"I'll give you that. But remember, Simon here."
"Still weird."
"Still Simon."
You chewed the inside of your bottom lip before asking your next question. "Patrick Swayze?"
"He was blond."
"Like you, you mean?"
Hesitation. "Yeah."
You hummed and thought about him with a mullet. What an odd thing to admit to you. But you’d never complain. If Simon was willing to offer you little tidbits of silly information about himself, then you were going to absorb every single one and treasure them forever.
A/N: Simon with a mullet as a teen because he wanted to be Patrick Swayze when he grew up is canon to me now.
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thefiery-phoenix · 7 months ago
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Can I request Yandere goo ? Thanks
Sure :)
YANDERE KIM JOON GOO(GOO KIM) HEADCANONS
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As annoying and childish he can be at times, he is well aware of his surroundings, he has a hidden darker twisted side to his childish personality and that side would make people SHIVER in their shoes. Despite his playful demeanor, you have to hand it to him, he is one determined person when it comes to you. You were having trouble fending off a few creepy men who started leering after you and made inappropriate comments about you as you were backed against the brick wall behind you huddled in fear. Goo was in a slightly pleasant mood, he just finished extorting money from a local gang and beat those schmucks with ease, he was almost longing for a fight when he saw you, a pretty little thing being bothered by creepy older men. He's always wanted to play 'knight in shining armor' to defenseless little things like you after all
"It's rude to make such comments about people like that you know, old man? How about I knock some of your teeth out and cut your tongue off? Or how about I gouge your eyes out so you won't look at someone with that filthy gaze of yours again?" asked Goo with a sinister smirk on his face as the men could tell by his tone he really wasn't messing around. However one of them stupidly decided to try punching him when Goo intercepted the punch and grabbed the man's arm as he kicked his shin and kicked the man to the ground swiftly, rendering him unconscious. The other men fled away in terror as Goo called out "OH COME ON, THAT WASN'T EVEN A REAL FIGHT, EVEN A MONKEY SWINGING A STICK CAN FIGHT BETTER THAN YOU MORONS!" as he cackled to himself while you still looked at him in confusion and terror as his smirk widened
"Well...hello there pretty...don't worry. I don't bite...yet..'' said Goo as he winked at you while his eyes surveyed your features. "Um...thank you for saving me'' you mumbled and bowed down politely as he chuckled softly to himself, how adorable you were, bowing to him and everything. What a goody little two shoes you were, it hadn't even been 15 minutes since he'd met you and he was already starting to like you. "You know, I don't go around doing things like this for free...I expect some form of payment sweetheart'' spoke Goo as he watched you closely. "I only have a few Won if that's what you're after'' you mumbled and tried to pull out your wallet from your bag. He couldn't believe he was doing this either but for the first time, he just waved his hand dismissively when you offered him your money
"Keep your money sweetheart, I expect something different from you...it would be such a shame to lose a pretty thing like you...let's stay in touch then?" he asked you as he leaned closer and his mouth was curved into a cheshire like grin which made you slightly nervous. Alarm bells started ringing in your mind when he stepped closer to you and something about him was just off putting and your gut was screaming at you that something was VERY wrong with the situation you were currently in. "Okay I guess?" you said hesitantly as his grin widened and he looked pleased. "Well, wonderful then. I'll catch you later. Don't miss me too much'' he spoke in a sing song voice as he winked at you and walked off in the opposite direction as he started humming to himself
You thought that would be the last you'd see of him but never have you been more wrong of something in your entire life before. He started appearing out of nowhere into your life and just managed to worm his way into your life and schedule, always following you around like some lost puppy with his usual smug cocky grin on his face. You don't need to know the details of how he managed to get your address, or how he managed to know where you did your part time job or what time you fall asleep...what you don't know wouldn't hurt your pretty little head. When he wants something, he goes through whatever lengths needed to achieve it even if he has to get his hands dirty so be it. He has no qualms of eliminating people from his path and making them drop dead like flies if he thinks they're getting too close to you. Don't you know that you belong to him now from the very moment he set his eyes on you?
He's also quite the delusional one, he believes that you both are in a relationship already from the very moment he laid his eyes on you. You just need to know about it. So when he sees you hanging out with some other random moron when you're at your part time job, he hates it. He just hates seeing you around other people, there are times when he feels like wrapping you in silk and locking you in a room and just throwing away the damn key so you wouldn't be able to leave his sight. With such delusional, possessive and obsessive thoughts churning through his mind, it will just fuel his desire to show you who you REALLY belong to. When it comes to him dealing with so called rivals for your affection, it's just straight up death for them. There's no in between, he doesn't even bother using his sword. However he won't be smiling since he views it as something serious when someone's trying to steal you from him, he views it as a threat for your relationship, even if you still don't know he CONSIDERS you both are in a relationship
He finds it amusing and endearing how unaware you are of your surroundings, it just boosts his ego that he's playing your knight in shining armor and feeds into his overly large god complex and gives him an impression that he's protecting you from all the evils of the world as your protector. He's amused about how you haven't managed to find out about the hidden tracker he placed in your phone, how he always watches you wherever you go even in the shadows, the little cute gifts he leaves for you at your doorstep, most of them being letters with the words 'I love you' written over and over again which would make you get creeped out. Then he'll have the audacity to PRETEND to be concerned when you tell him you have a stalker secretly pleased you're rushing into his arms for comfort. There's nothing you need to worry about, he's always there for you to keep you safe after all
It won't even be a full month before he decides to just kidnap you and take you fo himself, it'll be better for him to spend more time with you that way. When you wake up crying and screaming, he's confused. Why are you so upset, he's doing you a favor you know, he's keeping you safe. He just coos at you and holds you in his arms as he tells you about your current living situation with him, gently wiping away your tears and kissing your cheeks holding you in his arms and hugging you in such a way you won't be able to escape from his grasp
He's extremely clingy, privacy be damned. He's always holding you one way or another and he likes having you in bone crushing hugs and smothering you with his love and affection, don't try resisting him, just don't. He'll just see you being a grumpy little brat and smother you even more, your protests of indignation and pleas of wanting to be left alone would fall on deaf ears. Don't try anything silly like thinking of starving yourself, he'll make you sit on his lap and force feed you if he has to as he shoves spoon after spoon of food down your throat while he keeps talking on and on about the recipe of the dish he's feeding you followed by a story of how he had a fun day beating people up and traumatizing them. Your average and typical Tuesday 💀
Escape? From him? Don't make him laugh, honey. He'll find you easily without even breaking a sweat. It'll be like a silly little cat and mouse game, in his opinion, you're just bored and you're playing around and messing with him and he's more than happy to indulge into your little game and scheme. But he won't chase after you immediately, no, no. You'd try your best to get away from this blonde manchild of a madman and he'd just be sitting on the couch staring at his phone with a knowing smirk on his face, able to trace your every move. He'll lull you into a false sense of security wanting you to think that you've escaped from him, till he finally finds you and he just loves how your face falls in disbelief and utter shock when he comes strolling towards you like nobody's business, taking great pleasure that he burst your little bubble. "Had your fun darling? Time to go home now'' cooed Goo as he held your hand though the grip was a bit harder than usual
If you've received someone else's help to escape from him that's when things will get messy and complicated. He doesn't have a problem with you attempting to do it on your own because he knows you'll fail in the end and he'll find you eventually so he isn't too worried about that. What he doesn't like is you taking someone else's help and then trying to escape from him, it's like you're trying to leave him for them and his jealousy will just spiral out of control completely. You'll know something is seriously wrong when he doesn't have his usual smirk on his face and his face is grim and stoic as he glares at the poor soul who decided to help you escape from him, as he pulls out his sword and with one clean strike, the person is now on the ground dead with their blood flowing around their lifeless corpse. When he sees a potential rival, he always goes for the kill because no way would he spare some pathetic idiot who tried to take you for themselves
There's no escape for you from him at all. Not even Gun would be able to help you, as much as Gun says Goo is annoying he would actually ensure you're with Goo and won't leave him. If he's the one to find you after you tried to run away from Goo, he'll be quick in dragging you back to Goo and carry you like a sack of flour, telling you how silly and childish you were for running off like a little brat. Goo wouldn't hurt you or be mad at you but he'll impose some HEAVY restrictions around the place you both are living at barring all sorts of escape routes for you and cutting off internet access for a while till you can be trusted again that you won't pull a stunt like this again. You can hate him and scream at him as much as you want, your insults and pleas would just go into one ear and right out of the other
He likes physical intimacy and physical affection a lot. He just likes to hold you and be around you. However he gets agitated and will sulk and annoy you if you decide to ignore him. This one time when you were reading a book, he spoiled the ending for you and you just glared at him and didn't even bother to look at him for the rest of the day to which he got really sulky and started whining and complaining and annoyed you till you finally relented after he caged you in his arms and tried to guilt trip you with the expression of a kicked puppy. He'd like to do cheesy domestic things with you like applying flour to your cheeks and nose and running off while you chase after him. He's too far gone in his delusions of building a future with you. You both are already a couple in his mind, the next step is straight up marriage. Besides, you'd look so pretty with HIS ring on your finger, proving to the world that you're his and his alone...
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gallifreyriver · 9 months ago
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So, Kellogg's Boycott. Again. Haven't seen any posts about it here yet, so figured I'd make one.
In short: We're all tired of these big companies gouging their prices just because they can, and calling it 'inflation.' We're tired of companies announcing record profits while they cut bonuses/lay people off/force workers to run on skeleton crews/etc. We're tired of "Shrinkflation" And we're tired of a bunch of other shit too, but you get my point.
So, vote with your wallet.
On April 1st, stop buying Kellogg's, and keep that up until June 30th. Just three months- just one quarter of the fiscal year. Companies report earnings each quarter, and if their earnings drop it will reflect in these quarterly reports.
Why Kellogg's?
Because their CEO recently pulled a "Let them eat cake." TLDR; Kellogg's has raised prices by 28% across the board, bragged about record breaking profits, and then suggested that families struggling to afford groceries, because of aforementioned price gouging, just "eat cereal for dinner!"
And well, that message was not well received by anyone, as one could imagine. Pissed a lot of people off.
So yeah. The plan is to stop buying any Kellogg's products (below) for the entirety of the second quarter (April 1st-June 30th) and to collectively tell Kellogg to fuck off until they lower their prices. The goal isn't to "destroy the company" or cost anyone their jobs- but we will hit them where they will listen. Their profits.
If they don't listen, then we don't come back, and we start in on the next company, and keep going until they all get the message. There's always alternatives (more on that below) and we don't need them. If they refuse to drop their prices, then we just stick with the alternatives we found.
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Three months is a minor inconvenience to teach a corporation a lesson, and we can do it.
So, take this month before April to find your alternatives. If you need help, I based a non-comprehensive list (below) off the image above. There's tons more just a google search away, and I bet others have made lists as well. There's also always the option to make your own. There's tons of recipes online showing how to make dupes of your favorite products.
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Some things to note:
Don't go stocking up on your favorite Kellogg's products the last week of March and think you're not crossing the picket line. The point is to make Kellogg's feel the loss in profits, and stocking up on Cheez-its beforehand will defeat the purpose. I sincerely promise you can make it three months without buying Kellogg's. Again, three months is a minor inconvenience to teach a corporation a lesson, and we can do it.
That said, Safe Foods are acknowledged. If you or your child is neurodivergent and has issues with food (i.e: literally won't be won't be able to eat at all without their safe food) you get a pass. By all means feel free to try and find alternatives, but it's very unlikely that the few who can't boycott will cause it to fail. There should be plenty of the rest of us to pick up the slack.
Don't be a bystander- meaning don't go about this thinking "Oh, well surely there's enough people boycotting that it's fine if I just-" No. If we ever want things to change then we need to be strong enough to do even something as small as not buying something we like for three months. Furthermore, it's on those of us who can afford Kellogg's products to boycott Kellogg's. It's not the responsibility of those who already can't afford Eggos to boycott Eggos. Nothing will change if you go about just assuming everyone else already has it handled for you. Take a stand.
And importantly, Spread the word. This only works if we let as many people as possible know about it.
So reblog this post, or make your own post, or both. Even feel free to copy and paste this entire post off-platform if you need to. I've also seen some suggest making flyers, or even just writing on post-it notes, and sticking them to Kellogg's products in the store to spread the word off-line.
Just get the word out there. If we ever want these companies to stop gouging us for every cent we've earned, then we have to make a stand somewhere.
If we do nothing it will only ever get worse.
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alwritey-aphrodite · 11 months ago
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PLEASE I’M BEGGING FOR MORE ARRANGED MARRIAGE SEJANUS I AM OBSESSED WITH HIM AND THE WAY YOU WRITE HIM I NEED THAT SWEET BOY BADLY (also i just love your writing in general!!!)
Here’s part one and part two :) pls feel free to send in more for these two I love them so much
It seems like every weekend, your parents are making up an event just to get you and Sejanus together. You’d explained to them that you talk to him all the time, that you see him every day at the academy, but they’re insistent on doing things properly, or at least doing things the way they envision them. The dresses and the food and the drinks you sneak are enjoyable, and you’re starting to find yourself craving Sejanus’s presence, but everything else about these parties makes you want to gouge your own eyes out.
When you tell him this as he drops you off after your classes, Sejanus just laughs, pushing at your shoulder slightly in a way he’s done a few times before. The more time you spend together, the more you notice Sejanus touching you, like he just wants to be as close to you as possible. It’s never anything your parents would deem unseemly, and the innocence of it all makes you giddy.
The gentle shove must have given you a contact high, because you find yourself squeezing his hand goodbye as you slip behind your heavy front door, only to be immediately whisked away to begin getting ready for the evening, leaving you no time to think wistfully about Sejanus, the boy all but driven from your mind as you help your mother move decorations and display silverware and then disappear to make yourself presentable up to your parents standards.
Later, the moment you lay eyes on Sejanus, you make a beeline through the room, looping your arm with his and tugging him from the overcrowded party. It’s a little shocking how quickly Sejanus has become such a fixture in your life. He’s always been a sweet, gentle boy, and as much as you didn’t mind talking to him before, you find yourself scanning every room you enter for his familiar curly head.
When you’re with him, giggling and rushing up the stairs before a party guest or your parents catch you, you’re able to forget about the fact that your life is ending even as it’s supposed to be just beginning. Sejanus will be a good husband, you’re sure of that, but you can’t help but be resentful of the circumstances, can’t help but hate the fact that he’ll go off to university and follow in his fathers footsteps, getting a high paying, well respected job, while you stay home and raise a brood of children. You like children, and you wouldn’t mind being a mother, but you know that being reduced to someone who gives birth and stays home isn’t the life for you.
Looking at Sejanus, at the way he stares at you like you’re something magnificent, something worthy of worship, you can imagine a different life. Maybe, if you’re lucky, times will change or you’ll forge your own path, but until then, you don’t mind having Sejanus at your side, in your corner, knowing he’ll support every decision you make.
When you reach the roof, an area of your house you definitely are not allowed to access, you pull a small bottle from inside your dress, grinning as Sejanus shakes his head.
“You know, your father is going to start noticing his collection is growing smaller,” he quips, even as he takes the bottle right out of your hands.
“I always replace them,” you retort, leaning your elbows against the short wall that keeps you from tumbling to your death.
Even though it sometimes seems like the two of you will never run out of things to talk about, you’re both silent, soaking in the quiet night air and the view from the top of your estate. You start feeling antsy, though, strange feelings tangling in your gut and you’re desperate for some relief.
“Do you ever get worried? About all of this?” You ask, as vaguely as you can manage, chipping away at the armor you’d so carefully crafted your entire life. Even as you and Sejanus spent more and more time together, you kept yourself safely guarded, ready to turn and run and fight if necessary.
Now, though, you feel yourself growing tired, tired of being so strong and defiant and brave all the time. It might be nice to have someone hold you up for a while, let you regain your strength. You’ve always been in a position of power with Sejanus, always been able to make him blush and stutter and momentarily shut down with just a glance, and you like the way that makes you feel, you like being in control. And, it doesn’t hurt that he looks breathtakingly stunning every time he blushes, cheeks turning pink and dimples deepening in a way that’s so adorable you almost lose your cool every time.
“I’m worried all the time, about everything,” Sejanus tells you earnestly, eyes painted with something deeper than you’d care to believe. He’s always so lovely, with his dimples and his curls and his deep brown eyes, but it’s his heart, his soul, that sends you spiraling. It shouldn’t be fair that someone so beautiful is so completely wonderful, in every possible way.
“It’s nice to have you here,” you tell him, trying your very hardest to regain your footing while hoping he understands what you’re trying to say, what you can’t say yet. To your delight, you can see the way his cheeks redden in the glow of the moonlight, and you know he understands what you mean, and that you’re back where you’re meant to be, teasing Sejanus until he becomes a blushing mess.
Based on the way he reaches for the bottle again, grinning, you’re sure he enjoys this game just as much as you do.
Tagging @beybaldes because I love her and I love that she loves these babies as much as me
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