#that was a wee surprise on my dash

[boozles]

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME TAY TAWAN WAS IN PERFECT 10 LINERS YESTERDAY AND NO ONE TOLD ME?

[elwolfen]

Me: Woah hey! Look at the Gravity Falls fandom so lively! Brings back so many cherished memories, look all this awesome art-

*sees pinecest*

Me: Ah... there it is...

[themeraldee]

YOOOO THE “figuring out how to control his strength” fic was SO GOOD, I saw spanking at the end of that, a wee request to expand on that idea mayhaps 👀

Kissing you for enabling me, mwah mwah mwah. I tried going with gender neutral reader for the last one but had to switch to female for this one. Hope that's ok! I'm happy you enjoyed the last one hopefully this one hits the spot!😉

[Masterlist] [A follow up to this]

18+ Only | 1.5k | Homelander x female!Reader | Communicating during sex. Spanking. Riding. Unprotected sex. A dash of dirty talk.

Homelander has been trying to get his paws under your clothes for the past hour of the movie you were adamant you should be watching together. ‘It’s my favorite movie!’ You had said earlier. And not that he has anything against sharing your interests, he loves having every piece of you to himself. But now you are warm and soft against him, cuddling and leaning into him in a way that pretty much puts you in his lap.

He inhales the lingering fragrance of the expensive hair products he got for you. Something in him stirring at the thought of how utterly he’s changing your life, marking you with his touch with every little change he’s making to your routine. Ever since he’s had you move into his penthouse he’s been meddling with every aspect of your life, wanting to add his touch. Just as a reminder that you were his. So anytime you spritz his choice of perfume you think of that and in turn he gets reminded everyday that you make the choice to be his again and again and again.

So it’s no surprise that he’s now peppering your neck and cheek with kisses, pulling you closer no matter how much you protest. “Come on babe, fuck the movie. We can finish it another time.”

“But it’s my favorite…” You pout like a child, trying to pull away but he’s having none of it.

“Shhh. Come on now, don’t be like this.” He’s nuzzling into your neck. His hands wrap around your body, resting on top of your tits, giving your nipples a pinch through the fabric. “Be a good girl for me.” 

Now that sends a shiver down your spine, slowly pooling heat in between your legs. It also gives you a great idea. 

“Yeah? Well, maybe you should spank me for misbehaving.” You’re not facing him but the cheekiness of your grin is audible.

However as much as you’d prefer him to lean into the dirty roleplay of it all, he pulls away, tensing up.

You turn to face him.

“Are you sure? You know I could hurt you.” He’s carrying his worry openly. But just like with the choking you know there’s nothing this man wouldn’t do for you. 

“We’ve been over this baby. Sometimes the pain just makes things feel better.” You caress his cheek, giving him a sweet kiss flush on the lips before you pull away and take matters into your own hands. You lay yourself over his lap, face down, wiggling your ass right in front of him.

Tucking your fingers underneath both the waistband of your soft luxurious loungewear and the panties he’s picked for you, you pull both pieces down to reveal the bare skin of your ass.

“So…maybe you could spank me for not giving you enough attention?” You try to tease him into it, shaking your hips gently to give him the green light.

This does the trick. Homelander places both his hands on your cheeks, giving them a squeeze, really just playing with the softness of the flesh before he remembers what he’s meant to be doing.

Slap.

“Holy shit! Oh-ohhkayy. Fuck. T-that was pretty hard.” His hand is rigid, hard, unforgiving. With his added strength it was definitely a lot for the first slap. So sharp it jerks tears out of your eyes. 

“Fuck—I’m sorry! I’m sorry.” You can hear the fear and panic in his voice. In this instance it’s both at the idea of hurting you and at disappointing you with not being able to do the act justice.

You gather yourself, as the sting slowly eases off. 

“No, no. It’s okay. It wasn’t bad, it was just a lot. Just rub it a bit. It helps with the stinging.” His hand is barely touching you now, almost worried that he could cause more damage but he rubs your sore skin anyway. His touch is soothing. His hands are perfect. Unmarred, not a single scar or blemish and you feel the softness melding right against your ass.  

“Next time, keep your fingers together. Keep your hand loose, relaxed. Don’t make it too stiff.” You give him instructions, not wanting to dissuade him from continuing. It may have been hard and definitely a slap you’d be more likely to handle better as the spanking went on rather than from the start but it was still exhilarating. 

“Homelander,” you say his name, to break him from the trance while he’s still rubbing your ass gently. And as much as that feels good you really want to get the party started so you convey the need for more with a little, “please?”

He takes your instructions to heart and he slaps your ass again. This time a little gentler. With his palm less splayed open it makes a deeper sound which is just music to your ears. 

“Oh fuuuck.” And it feels just as good as it sounds. Really good. Its gentle sting burns through your skin, thoroughly wetting your pussy. Your eyes roll back at the sensation. 

“Was that better?” He asks with gentleness you never expected him to be capable of.  

“Y-yeah.” You slurp back the saliva you feel pooling in your mouth. “It was perfect.”

He takes that as his hint to continue as he lands another. And another one. And more. All in the same spot. Your skin is getting brighter and brighter red. The burn is making your toes curl and your pussy throb.

The more you moan the more he spanks you, alternating between your cheeks until they’re both screaming bright red. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re leaking all over me.” Homelander says in an almost incredulous tone, as if he’s surprised that pain could make you this riled up. Finally, he sees it for the pleasure it gives you.

“Uhh, s-sorry.” You slur, drooling, already having melted into the couch. 

“You’re really fucking kinky, you know that?” 

You laugh at that. “What can I say? I know what I like.” 

“Clearly.” He ran his hand down the hot, red skin, making you hiss. His hands settled in between your cheeks, spreading them out while his other hand made its way to your pussy, sliding his fingers through the mess you made of yourself. 

“My, my, that got you excited.” He shoved two fingers in, meeting no resistance as he pumped them in and out. Even with the TV playing in the background the squelching sound of you is still obscenely loud. You should be embarrassed, really, but it feels so good to finally have something soothe the throbbing pain that’s been building up with each slap. 

“Fuuck. Can I have you, please?” You whine out, really just wanting to get pounded into the couch while you’re feeling all woozy.

“So you want me to spank you, and now you want me to fuck you? See, good girls participate. So hop on sweetheart. You gotta work for it too.” Now he was getting it. With his reservations out of the window, he slips right into teasing you.

You feel yourself flush and throb at his words. He’s so good to you. No matter what, he always makes you feel otherworldly.

With his help you peel yourself off the couch, straddling his lap where he’s pushed down his pants. His cock already hard and flushed red. Just like your cheeks.

You sink down on him, letting out a whimper when your cheeks meet his thighs. The skin on skin contact burns, reminding you of each slap you received. You wrap your arms around his neck for support, but really you just want to be close to him.

He kisses you, as if he’s been starved for it. This whole time you were facing away from him so it’s not like he could have enjoyed your gasps and moans against his lips.

You ride him as hard as your thighs allow, chasing the high of feeling full after the empty feeling you had to take each slap with. With each bounce your ass meets his thighs and your eyebrows pinch together in pain. Good pain. You’re sure he can feel just how blazing hot your cheeks feel.

Homelander grabs your ass from both sides, helping you up and down. His hands squeeze the bruising flesh, making you gasp for air.

��Good?” He asks as he massages the flesh, catching you off guard by another slap.

“Yea-AH!—s’good. Really fucking good.” You mumble, your speech slurring as you lean your forehead against his. It was intimate and debauched at the same time and it didn’t take either one of you long to finish. His cock was hitting you just right and with the added sting of your skin and the occasional slap he landed on alternating cheeks you unraveled on his lap. As you cling onto him with spent, burning thighs he finishes inside you with a few more strokes and you fully collapse into his arms. 

“See? I told you it’d be fun.” You’re panting against him, trying to calm your poor body down. Spent, satisfied and still burning up. You wonder how long you’re gonna feel that everytime you sit.

Hopefully for a while.

“Mhm. You got any more of these great ideas?”

Taglist (you can add yourself to be tagged anytime I publish a new Homelander fic): @infinetlyforgotten @rafecamsgirlll @nervoussystemss @hom3landr @mrsdesade @nommingonfood

[scotianostra]

An oldie but a goodie and surely the greatest Burns joke of all time......

A newly qualified doctor arrives for his first day at a hospital, deep in the Welsh valleys. He is met by one of the sisters, who has been given the task of showing him around the hospital and introducing him to the staff and patients.

It is a large hospital and it takes the whole day to get round. By late afternoon they are working their way through the psychiatric block and as the time approaches for the evening meal they arrive at the last ward. They follow the dinner trolley into the ward and wait while one of the nurses lifts the lid on the food tray. To the doctor's surprise there is but a single haggis on the tray to feed a whole ward.

One of the patients moves towards the trolley in a purposeful manner addressing the haggis,

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,

Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!

Aboon them a' ye tak your place,

Painch, tripe, or thairm:

Weel are ye wordy of a grace

As lang's my arm.

Before he can reach the haggis another patient sprints forward, grabs the simple repast and dashes up the ward. He proudly holds the haggis aloft and cries out in a commanding voice,

Some hae meat and cannae eat.

Some cannae eat that want it:

But we hae meat and we can eat,

Sae let the Lord be thankit.

At this, a kilted dervish leaps from his bed, whips a skien dubh out of his sock and lunges at the haggis carrier. With a deft movement the haggis bearer fend off the flashing blade with the haggis. Although this prevents any injury it does result in the top of the haggis being hacked off. A small mouse obviously waiting upon this event dashes out from under a bed, grabs the loose piece of haggis and scampers up the ward, running the gauntlet of slashing claymores and hurled dirks from various patients. At the end of the ward stands a bent and wizened old man with a wild fire in his eyes. He screams at the mouse,

Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,

O, what a panic's in thy breastie!

Thou need na start awa sae hasty,

Wi bickering brattle!

I wad be laith to rin an chase thee,

Wi murdering pattle!

And then dives upon the poor little mouse. With a left dummy and a right feint, the mouse dodges between the old man's legs, through a hole in the skirting board and to safety with his prize. The doctor turns to the sister and asks, "Why is this psychiatric ward so full of Scotsmen?"

"Oh no, doctor, these are not Scotsmen, they are genuine valley dwellers born and bred", she replies, "and, anywa, this is not a psychiatric ward, it is the serious Burns unit"

[tamlinweek]

Tamlin Week 2025 is now officially on its way, so we the moderators would like to take a moment to introduce ourselves!

Library Clerk by Day, Writer by Night

Hello! I'm Lady Midnight, and I go forth and share my stories at @goforth-ladymidnight. (I also stay up too late, and use too many parentheses for my own good.) I've been passionate about stories and storytelling since I was just a wee young thing, and I channel a lot of that energy into the essays I write to promote Tamlin Week! This will be my third year moderating, and the creativity that crosses my dash will never cease to amaze me. ❤️ You guys are the best.

While Lucien is my favorite (shh, don't tell), Tamlin holds a very special place in my heart. I adore Beauty and the Beast stories, and I look forward to sharing more about our favorite beastly boy in the months to come! ❤️

Lady Midnight uses She/Her pronouns.

Reyna, Gremlin of the Sea

I'm Reyna at @praetorqueenreyna! I started writing fic in 2020 and have been hooked ever since. This is my third year running Tamlin Week with Lady Midnight, and I'm so excited for this year! I'm a chronic Unpopular Character enjoyer, so it's no surprise I latched onto Tamlin. I've worked on the sea for almost a decade, and love all kinds of weird creachers (fish, sharks, slugs, snakes, lizards, spiders, EVERYTHING) both dead and alive.

Reyna uses She/Her pronouns.

Mathi, the Marquess of Memes

It's a bird, it's a plane... No, it's me, Mathi!

You may know me as @highlordofkrypton or even as @acotar-memes. I'm the newest addition to the team, and the resident gamemaker 😏 Tamlin Week is my favourite time of the year, and I cannot wait for a week-long party celebrating my favourite boi with my favourite community! (Don't tell the other mods, but I'm actually here to try and bribe ya'll for Superman & Tamlin crossovers shhhhhhhhhh 😈)

Keep an eye out the following weeks because I've got some fun stuff lined up for you, my beautiful, beautiful people!

Mathi uses She/Her pronouns.

We look forward to celebrating with you all!

P.S. If you'd like to make your own Picrew icon, you can find the one we used here.

[arcadianmoonshadowjedi]

Rayllum Month 2024: A Prince and His Princess

Super late I know 😭 I’ve been away these past couple of days and haven’t had the time focus entirely on writing so it took me longer than usual to be able to finish this fic. I hope you enjoy this and please excuse any typo you might find 😅 I plan on finishing the Magic Prompt next and hopefully post that before S6 comes out 🤞🏽

Callum watched the training session in the courtyard from the balcony after finishing the meeting with Ezran and the rulers accompanied by their advisors from the other kingdoms earlier than expected. He admiringly watched his wife leading the training session for the knights along with Soren and couldn’t help but grin.

“Ok, now,” Rayla started. “Today, I will demonstrate how to disable your opponent by sweeping their leg, and Soren will be leading this demonstration with me,” She threw a smirk towards the crown guard who scoffed back comically. Callum chuckled as he reminisced his training session with Soren, when he tried to use that move and got told it wasn’t a thing in sword fighting, only to see Rayla successfully use it not too long after.

Rayla and Soren finally faced each other, then began to parry. As They pranced back and force and their swords kept clashing, Rayla explained each and every step along the way. Then Rayla successfully kicked Soren’s sword out of his hands and quickly slid her own beneath his feet. In the next instant, Soren was lying on his back.

“Ugh, I still need to work on countering that,” he groaned as he sat up. Rayla stood over him grinning victoriously.

“Haha yeah!” Callum cheered on from a distance, still weirded out by seeing Soren be the one on the ground. Rayla looked up in his direction, smiled and blew him a kiss.

The guards all stared in awe as Rayla looked back and bowed down in their direction. “Alright now, each of you will partner up and take turns practicing. Soren will be watching over your training as I have other important matters to handle now,” She nodded to Soren and walked over towards the stairway as swords clashed behind her. When she finally reached the top, she hugged and kissed her eager husband.

“How was the royal affairs meeting?” She asked, her hands in his.

“Eh, stuffy as always,” he answered. “But hey, it ended sooner than expected so I was able to come watch a little bit of your training session and you outmatch Soren,” he chuckled. Rayla smiled and jokingly rolled her eyes.

“Hey tell you what,” Callum continued, gently grabbing Rayla’s waist. “Can you do me a favor and wait for me in our room? There’s something important I need to show you,”

“Ooh is it a surprise?” Rayla smiled as she asked cunningly, wrapping her arms around his neck. Callum looked at her nervously then scratched the back of his head.

“Ugh can’t talk now! I’ll see you later,” he finally dashed past her and she smiled at him softly.

~~~

Rayla was more than excited to finally get to bond with her baby girl Amaris, constantly making goofy faces and planting kisses all over her tiny face.

“Who’s a wee cutie, hmm? Who’s a wee cutie?!” Rayla asked her baby playfully before blowing raspberries into her itty bitty belly. Little Amaris’s squeals and laughs grew louder with each second and her dazzling green eyes twinkled with excitement.

The door finally opened and Callum walked in, hiding something in one hand behind his back.

“Daddy’s here,” Rayla said softly as she walked over to him. With his empty hand, he reached towards Amaris’s face and squeezed her chubby cheek.

“Aww there’s my wuvley widdle princess!!” He exclaimed as he reached to kiss the squealing infant. He then looked up and smiled at Rayla, who was gently shaking Amaris. He finally revealed what was in his other hand and Rayla’s eyes widened in wonder.

“Is that..” Rayla gasped when she took a closer look. That familiar sweet and fruity aroma filled her nose.

“No! You did not!” She put her hand on her gaping mouth.

“Moonberry Surprise!” Callum finished for her joyfully. “Made by non other than Barius!”

Rayla couldn’t find any words to say. She only found herself leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

“Callum! You truly are the best husband anyone can ask for!”

They walked over to their bed and Rayla laid a cooing Amaris down. Rayla couldn’t stop gaping and drooling as Callum cut open the cake revealing the slowly trickling moonberry jelly filled with tiny fruit chunks. He brought with him two forks and plates for each of them to eat together in bed.

After Callum put a slice on each of their plates, he grabbed a fork and cut off a piece from Rayla’s plate, then reached for her mouth.

“How is it?” He asked. Rayla chewed and felt the vanilla frosting blending with the sweet and mildly sour moonberry flavor in her mouth.

“Callum this is the BEST moonberry surprise I’ve ever had in my life!”

Callum chuckled at her. “You’re kidding right? You’ve definitely had better ones in the Silvergrove,”

“Mmmm, nope! This one has Barius’s special touch and it was a gift from you. Nothing in all of Xadia could beat that,”

“Well I would do anything for my princess,”

Callum reached to gently grab her chin. Rayla let out a soft laugh but looked down awkwardly. She reached for her plate, slid her finger through the thick red jelly and stuck her finger in Amaris’s tiny mouth, with the baby grabbing her mother’s finger with all five of her fingers as she sucked the jelly. Callum looked at her curiously but he immediately understood. He reached for his daughter’s hair and softly rolled her tiny silver curls around his finger.

“You’re still not used to the title, aren’t you?” He asked calmly, eventually moving his finger to caress Amaris’s stubby little horn.

“I guess not, not really. It just sounds…too regal” Rayla answered him, feeding more jelly to her daughter. Callum then reached out and grabbed Rayla’s hand.

“Yeah I get it,” he started. “When my mom married my stepdad, I became a prince right away. But growing up, it never really stood with me. You know? Because I wasn’t born a prince and all that. Not to mention all the stuff I had to learn and do because it was expected of a prince. I felt like the title just…put me above other people and it just didn’t feel right, you know? Even being called the high mage still felt… weird. But I always reminded myself of my stepdad calling himself a servant of Katolis, that it is was his duty to serve every single person and creature in this kingdom and to make sure they had everything they needed. He reminded me that our titles in this castle don’t make us better than everyone else, but they’re reminders of our own responsibilities to everyone. What we do to help others. And Rayla?” He finally reached to hold her cheek, with Rayla lovingly putting her hand on top of his. “Knowing you and knowing how much you care for others and always want to help, I don’t think there’s anyone I know of that’s more qualified than you are,”

Rayla’s violet eyes widened and shined as she heard more his words. She felt herself leaning and melting more into his big warm hand on her face.

“Callum,” she started calmly. “Somehow, you just have a way to bring out the best in even the worst of things,” she sighed relaxingly. She then grabbed a fork, took a piece from Callum’s plate, then reached for his mouth. Callum bit off of it, but Rayla smirked then lifted the fork; taking Callum by surprise and getting jelly stained frosting smeared over his lips.

“Hey! You meant to do that!” Callum joked as Rayla laughed at his cute mischievous frown.

“Here I got it for you,” She chuckled, then leaned forward to place her lips on his, sucking off the smudged deliciousness. When she slightly backed away, Callum felt her giggle and smile against his lips. He chuckled back then leaned forward to kiss her now smudged lips. They wrapped their arms around each other and made out passionately as they also enjoyed the sweet flavor of each other’s lips.

When they finally pulled away, they leaned their foreheads against each other’s and stared into each other’s eyes tenderly. They then burst into laughter and laid back onto the bed. They looked towards their daughter and found her already fast asleep despite all the noise they were making. Callum carried the sleeping infant and went to place her in her crib, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. He then joined Rayla back in bed to cuddle and eventually doze off.

[yinwaryuri]

Fuck this, I wasn't tagged by anybody but since y'all are making me insane sharing your lovely faves on my dash I gotta join the fun!

10 BL People That I Want Carnally

Just so we're clear, I'm immediately not limiting myself to 10. I'm bi. You think we have limits? (Tumblr says yes, but that's why I'm on desktop for this instead of mobile)

Night from Dirty Laundry

Are we surprised? This awakened a whole thing in me. I was constantly yelling from the rooftops about my love for this man in the cheapest drag you ever saw. This is my JAM. I'm already trying to calm myself down making the first entry on this post. GOD. And his whole committed-to-the-bit romancing a mafia leader and then robbing her because he needs money, but really he's a wee romantic who just wants to write exciting stories like all of us bitches on AO3? Honey I am FREE at 5pm on Saturday. Also, shush, I know it's not a BL, I'm counting it as part of the Midnight Series as a whole :P

Yok from Not Me

PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR POLICE OFFICERS. We already have matching tattoos babe. He isn't perfect but he's a well-intentioned mama's boy and has swagger.

Maya from Laws of Attraction

Listen, I don't think much explaining is necessary here. I'm a woman but she can call me "pretty boy" any day. Is she just Silvy Pavida with a MILF wife? Yeah. That's the point. I'll join. They would let me.

Speaking of Laws of Attraction, Nawin

I deserve an insane golden retriever boyfriend. I deserve a man who can't spell his ex's name but can get a pilot's license. He deserves someone who will enable his silliness, even when there's trouble with the accountant. *kisses all over his wing tattoo*

Togawa from Old Fashion Cupcake

Mr. Hamster Cheeks my love <3 The dates would be so good. And so would the food. And the food naps afterward. I'm a good snuggler, he's tall and there's a lot to snuggle. Win-win.

Ink from Bad Buddy

I know many of us are weak for Milk Pansa, but like, there's a reason for that. She gave us the ICON for lesbian side couples. Please, girl, scare men away from me when they mistake a boner for full-fledged love. Make me feel welcome and important and pretty and like I'm the specialest girl alive. Be taller than me ;)

Wen Qing from The Untamed

She didn't die, actually, we just eloped together, haha. I just think as someone who studied medicine, she'd have a lot of good tricks up her sleeve and I don't mean acupuncture needles.

Saifah from Enchanté

Yeah. I needed to use this gif. Get that record deal my man. Live your dreams king. I also love that he's both the old man and woman here. Impeccable. We deserved more of him.

Uea from Bed Friend

Gimme this catboy realness right now. Also, I just love him so much. He owns his narrative despite all the shit he has suffered and gets everything he deserves for it. We could be besties even. We could be...no I shan't say it.

SamMon from GAP

I just want whatever is going on right here. Let me join. Simple as that.

Tops and Marwin from Ingredients

I'm this guy. Except I think they'd be sad to see the other with someone else so I gotta have them one at a time. Tops, who's a shy cutie who can make yummy foods. And Marwin, who is basically Jeff Satur just pumped with extra himboisms.

Todd from Not Me

All principles out the window. He's evil, he's sexy. I know exactly how much that specific hotel room costs to stay in for a night. It would be luxurious.

Rain from Love In The Air

I know most people would say Phayu, and for Boss, yeah I understand, I am all there. But something about the way that little guy can fuck kinda makes me dizzy, I'm owning that. He doesn't have to be smart, he's just gotta be given compliments. Plus, my bed sheets match!

VegasPete from KinnPorsche

They altered me chemically once and I'd let 'em do it a second time and many more after that.

Tagging @kissporsche @thisautistic @omegaphobe @shubaka @risu442 @khathastrophe @loveable-sea-lemon @fawndlyvenus @viva-yas-vegas @first-kanaphan @wherelanguage-ends @xxatlasxx @adanima @snake-and-mouse @scarefox @scattered-stardust @callipigio @sparklyeyedhimbo @jdotsodomite @futureexmrsmalcolm @suzteel @jeffsatyr @coconuts-mafia

[r0ckgoblin]

The Right Answer - bbf!e.williams x reader

summary: after a really bad day, you call ellie in the middle of the night. just needing someone to talk to, she suggest you two go for a night drive. nothing new right? you guys did this all the time, this night couldn’t be any different. wrong. this night, this night would definitely be different.

a/n: zoo wee mama am i nervous about this one! i got this idea from the clock app, i’ve been really wanting to try a hand at writing for ellie and the prompt was perfect for her imo. omg it was so fun! i hope you enjoy it! woohoo!! (also there’s a surprise guest mentioned 😏)

warnings: if you follow me and/or have read my stuff before you know this shit isn’t fully proofread… i can try to proofread all i want but i always miss something… *sigh*

*lower case is intentional*

you sigh tossing on your back, as if the day couldn’t get any worse, now you were not allowed the sweet blessing of sleep. staring up at the ceiling, wishing the thoughts that kept you awake would just be quiet for one moment. letting out a huff of dissatisfaction, you roll over and grab your phone. opening the message app you hope that the one person that can help you is awake.

ellie was your brother’s best friend since pre-school. within that time the two of you had formed a friendship as well. the two of you would hangout pretty occasionally, especially with your brother away at college. they were both a year older than you so hanging out with them when you were younger wasn’t difficult, you all got along pretty well so to say.

as you got older though, something about the way you saw ellie changed. you would feel certain ways about her, ways you didn’t understand. later you would find out those were ways someone felt about someone they liked. ‘but ellie is a girl..’ early middle school would tell yourself, ‘i don’t like girls…i think.’ you liked girls. these were feelings that could never be spoken about to anyone, because to your family, ellie was family.

“please be up.” you whisper as you open ellie’s contact.

you: are you awake? sent 11:26pm

you close your phone, prepared to try and go to sleep in case she doesn’t answer. you wait impatiently for a few minutes deciding that she is most likely asleep you text again.

you: nvm, we can talk tmrw:) sent 11:29 pm

before you can close your phone again, the message said it had been read and seconds later you see the three dots indicating she was typing.

els<3: sorry i was in the shower, we can talk now. is everything alright?? received 11:30 pm

sighing in relief, you text her back immediately.

you: yea i’m good, just needing someone to talk to. sent & read 11:31 pm

els<3: wanna go for a drive? received 11:31 pm

you: yes pls! sent & read 11:32 pm

els<3: omw recived 11:32 pm

ellie didn't live far and she's not the safest driver either, so you jump out of bed quickly and grab your phone and keys. you walk downstairs and sit patiently on the couch. not even ten minutes pass and you get a notification from ellie.

els<3: here received 11:40 pm

you: gotcha read 11:40 pm

you get up from your spot on the couch and speed walk to the door. "where are you going?" a voice behind you ask. you whip around quickly seeing your brother at the bottom of the stairs. "out with ellie." you answer. "okay be sa- what am i talking about i know how ellie drives. you coming home tonight?" by now your phone is buzzing with text from ellie.

els<3: what's taking so long? received 11:42 pm

els<3: helloo?? received 11:43 pm

els<3: hurry up slow poke! received 11:45 pm

"most likely, why?" you ask. he huffs, "mom and dad come home tomorrow, duh. you know how they are, they want this place spotless." you groan loudly, "oh fuck i forgot, look if i'm not home tonight i'll be back early tomorrow. love you bye, lock the door!" you say hurriedly opening the door and rushing out. "yea, yea love you!" your brother shouts behind you.

you dash to ellie's car opening the door, "hey sorry, my brother and i were talking." you say out of breath. "all good, i figured. by the way," she clicks her tounge, "we gotta get some gas in this baby." she says pointing to the dashboard. "that's fine." you say.

ellie backs out of your driveway and starts heading down the street to find the nearest gas station. "so, what's going on in the world of y/n?" she asks referencing to your need for someone to talk to. you sigh loudly, "a lot," you laugh, "its just a bunch of stuff you know, school and shit. not to mention, guess who i ran into today?"

"no way dude!" she yells. "oh, yea you guessed it, none other than miss anderson herself." ellie looks over at you with wide eyes. "did she talk to you?" you roll your eyes and groan, "what do you think?" if there was anything ellie loved more than life itself, it was talking shit about your terrible exes. "fuck dude, what she say?"

"same old same old, 'y/n i really miss you.' and 'wished things worked between us.' blah, blah, blah." ellie scoffs loudly, "she's the one that broke up with you!" ellie shouts "i know, that's what i'm saying!"

"she can honestly go fuck herself at this point." she says pulling into the gas station. she parks at the available lane and reaches in her pocket, pulling out some cash. "here, if you don't mind getting me a drink and anything you want." you smile taking the cash from her hand and nod. you both get out of the car, "what do want, anything specific?" you ask starting to walk away. "surprise me." you throw her a thumbs up and begin heading inside.

you walk to the drink coolers in the back, grabbing something that you think she'll like and grab yourself something too. you walk to the other side of the store to where the cash registers are. from the window you can see ellie talking to a girl. you watch as they talk, the girl obviously flirting with ellie. were you jealous, no. ellie could talk to whoever she wanted to. besides, any feelings you had for ellie were so repressed, they surely wouldn't be making a comeback. the cashier interrupts your thoughts, "ma'am your total is $4.38." you take your eyes off the view from the window and shuffle through the cash finding a $5 and handing it to him. "thank you, keep the change." you grab the two drinks from the counter and walk out the door, "have a goodnight!" you wish to the man before closing the door.

you walk back to ellie's car, you make eye contact with the random girl. she gives you a dirty look as you open the door and get in. you look at ellie just watching her talk, you notice her body language, she looks uncomfortable. you listen as she asks ellie to dinner and you with all the bright ideas, reach over and honk the horn, when you have the attention of ellie you look at her and throw your hands in the air giving her a stern look. and even though you had nowhere to be you point to your wrist signaling the time. she looks back at the girl, "sorry, my girl has a curfew." she lies. but wait hold on her girl? that made your cheeks burn hot. you watch as the girl walks away and ellie gets in the car. its dead silent pulling out of the gas station and on to the road.

"so," ellie clears her throat, "are we gonna talk about that?" you look over at her, "talk about what?" the girl that clearly wanted in your pants. "there's nothing to talk about." you mumble looking away from her. "oh no, there's something to talk about." ellie then reaches over and grabs your thigh, squeezing in lightly. you grab her hand placing it back into her own lap. "there's nothing to talk about, ellie. just take me home, now." you demand.

"whatever you say." the rest of the ride was inevitably uncomfortable. not one of you spoke to the other, ellie kept her eyes ahead of her on the road and you looked out the window.

when ellie came to a stop in your driveway, you immediately went to open the door, but it was locked. you huff and turn towards her. she gives you an 'oh!' look and presses the button, you quickly jump out and make a beeline for the front door. you hear a car door slam shut and turn to see ellie hot on your tail. you make it to the door, mentally thanking your brother that he forgot to lock it. before you can close it, ellie is pushing her way in. "we're gonna talk about it." she whispers. "there's nothing to talk about, you looked uncomfortable, so i was just trying to help." you whisper back. ellie shakes her head, "that's not what happened. you're gonna tell me the truth."

"what truth is there to tell?" you say frustrated, trying not to raise your voice. "you were jealous, weren't you?" she smirks. you laugh uncomfortably, "no, i wasn't." you cross your arms. "wrong answer y/n, you didn't want me going out with her." at this point ellie almost had you backed into a wall. "no, you can do as you please, i don't care." ellie now has you fully backed into the wall. "mhm, wrong answer." she says sternly, putting both hands on the wall caging you in. "i'm gonna ask you one more time, were you jealous?"

"please, if roles were reversed you would've been fine. its whatever, ellie." you roll your eyes. "no, i wouldn't have been." her eyes are dark and angry. "what?" you say below a whisper. "anyone that touches you, talks to you, looks at you, makes me rage. so no, i wouldn't have been okay. i would've been jealous. and i would be able to tell you that if you asked me." she leans in closer.

you don't know what to say to this. you thought that after all these years of pining over ellie and repressing your feelings for her, you'd never be a situation where she was possibly confessing her feelings for you. "what are you talking about ellie?" you say looking her dead in the eyes.

"please y/n, don't act like you don't know." she scoffs. "so, were you jealous?" she repeats. you bite your lip, not wanting to be honest, "fine, yes i was jealous. are you happy now?" ellie drops her hands back to her side looking to the ground, you think of the worst. what if she’s about to reject you? what if she just wanted to get a rouse out of you and tease you about it later? you watch her for a moment, she then looks up. "right answer." before you know it her lips are on yours. this kiss is slow and sweet, but ellie becomes hungry for more. its getting heated, ellie is grabbing anywhere she can get her hands. her lips move down to your neck and you moan as she nips at it.

you pull away quickly realizing where you were, "maybe we should.." you motion up the stairs. "right, right." she says breathlessly.

a/n:THE END TEEHEE! i cannot describe how excited i am about this fic!! it’s my first ellie one and i think it’s pretty great, maybe i’m biased. this was really fun to write. i wanted it to be smut, but i’m not really good at that so the end is up to ur imagination 😏 ANYWAYS thank you so much for reading this, much love <<33

[colorsunimaginable]

the spare // chapter sixty-seven // death eater ! tom hiddleston oc x plus size ofc - voldemort wins au

story summary: 

While on a mission to avenge the death of her best friend, Ilvermorny graduate Melisa Alder finds herself in the middle of the fight to defeat Voldemort. Upon capture after the Dark Lord's triumph, she's being sold at an auction with other muggle borns and blood traitors. Her only hope is also her only bidder - the tall, dark, and handsome Thomus Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's younger half-brother. Is he just another Death Eater or is he hiding more than just his face beneath the mask? Will she realize her true potential to be one of the resistance's greatest weapons?

*a Voldemort Wins AU with Tom Hiddleston cast as an OC x a plus size protagonist* *takes place in The Auction universe by Lovesbitca8*

words for this chapter: 8k warnings for this chapter: drinking, a wee bit of p in v

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

my lovely beta reader 💕 banner credit @cafekitsune

Chapter Sixty-Seven:

It’s the day after Christmas and I spend it overthinking, worried about this ��gathering’ at Cliveden. To distract myself, I fiddle around with the new camera Thomus bought me. 

And I might have taken a few… dozen pictures of him. 

Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but regardless I now have images of him sitting at the kitchen table with a book, typing away at his desk on the typewriter, and even one I convinced him to take with me in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. 

“I think I’m… nervous,” I say as we’re getting ready to leave.

Thomus finishes adjusting the collar of his cloak around the collar of his sweater and gives me a curious look. “You likely have more in common with them than I do.”

I shift on my feet, clutching the Tupperware full of cookies tighter. “I highly doubt that. Ever since you told me about this party, all I can think about is the time you spanked me in front of them.” A satisfied smile spreads across his face as he chuckles and pulls a forest green knit scarf from beneath his cloak. “Are we all just supposed to pretend like that never happened?” He steps closer and loops the scarf around my neck, eyes focused on the task. “Are you even listening?”

“Of course.” His eyes snap up to mine as he flips one end of the scarf over my shoulder and the other down my front. “You have nothing to worry about.”

I release a strained groan and fidget with my Ilvermorny Christmas sweater, pulling the hem further down around my hips. “Let’s just go.”

We Apparate straight there and I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what to expect. The few parties Jacob Astor has hosted that I’ve witnessed have varied wildly. From a super serious Death Eater meeting about human trafficking to dancing with Thomus while high on a lust potion - you never really know. Not to mention, the usual crowd has been an unfortunate audience to my most embarrassing moments in the last six months. 

I shudder out of my thoughts while we trek to the large hosting room. The smell hits me first, cinnamon and oranges, and then I register the song playing gently from the corner of the room, Bing Crosby’s White Christmas . An Elf snaps away our outerwear as we approach the open doors.

The room is absolutely decked out . Floating candles light the room, hovering just under the high ceiling. Fake snow drifts down from a dim grey sky, fresh holly on every sconce. In the center of the room against the windows is a massive tree, covered in tinsel and twinkling lights. The grand fireplace is crackling with a delicious smelling fire. We walk closer to the tree, where people are gathered around on couches and chairs, and I can make out what lights the top of the tree... A bright, glowing Deathly Hallows mark. 

Well, that’s fucking weird.

I don’t have time to think on it further before Jacob Astor is standing before us. He looks as dashing as ever and not so surprised that I’m not currently blind. He smiles at both Thomus and me, and I wish I could tell if he’s being sincere.

“Glad you guys could make it,” Jake says cheerfully as he shakes Thomus’ hand, but he’s looking at me. 

Thomus smiles in return, looking more relaxed than he usually does when we’re out. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

As they exchange a few more pleasantries, my eyes wander beyond Jake, trying to see if there’s any familiar faces. I clock Kyle sitting near Will when Jake says something that recaptures my attention. “I see you had your very own Christmas miracle.” 

Thomus’ arm slides around my waist. “Yes, I had some very good luck.”

I don’t miss the double meaning to his words. I wanna remark about how his good luck was really my hard work, but I bite my tongue and force a shy smile as Jake turns to shake my hand as well.

Jake gestures to a food and drinks table set up along a wall. “Help yourselves. I think Will’s trying to start up some drinking games here in a minute.”

I start walking toward the table before Thomus, mostly because I’m eager to exchange this box of cookies for something with alcohol in it. Towards the desert section, I glance back over my shoulder to make sure no one but Thomus is watching me slide trays aside, making enough room for my offering. 

Finally with free hands, I scooch next to Thomus standing by the drinks. 

“Can I pour you anything?” he asks me. 

My eyes scan the bottles, then point to the one I want. “Yeah, can I get orange juice with Malibu?”

He reaches for the white bottle I pointed to and pours a double into the iced glass he’s holding. “Coconut rum?” he questions as he’s reaching for the pitcher of orange liquid. 

“It’s my go-to,” I say as I grab a coffee straw, taking the glass and stirring it once it’s full. I take a sip and it’s just right. He’s busy pouring his own glass of whiskey, but I offer him the straw anyway. “Wanna try?”

I briefly pull his eyes away from pouring as he leans down to wrap his lips around the straw. There’s just something about seeing his jaw flex like that that has me pinching myself. 

“Well, it’s certainly a combination of flavors,” he says after swallowing. 

I snort and forget what I’m about to say when I feel an arm brush my other shoulder. When I see who it is, I relax. “Oh, hi.”

Will’s eyes immediately find the box that doesn’t match the rest of the dishes and nabs one of the bright red cookies. “Oh, hi,” he teases after he takes a bite. His face is sans beard and rocking a stache now. “You guys ready to get trashed?”

“What’re we playing?” I ask, taking a few big pulls of my drink.

“Anything,” Will answers immediately. He pulls out his wand and summons a tray pre-loaded with tiny cauldrons just big enough for shots. A bottle of firewhiskey floats from the collection before us and starts filling the cauldrons. “Got nothin’ but a good time on the agenda.”

“Can we play Thunderstruck?” I ask. 

Will beams. “Fuck yeah we can play Thunderstruck.”

As Thomus and I follow Will back to where everyone else is gathered, Thomus leans in. “Should I know what that is?”

I can’t help but smile. “Oh, you’ll find out.”

There’s an empty loveseat Thomus pulls me onto. He tucks his arm around my waist again as he settles back, practically tucking me into his side. 

As Will passes out the shot cauldrons, I can finally sneak a peek at who’s actually here. Kyle and Will - and obviously Jake. That Roosevelt guy is here, too, but I forget his first name. There’s a pretty blond woman talking to Jake that I don’t recognize and… oh, that’s it. Small group, I see. Which I will admit I’m glad for. 

I take the first shot that Will offers me and I down it immediately before putting it back and grabbing another one. I haven’t really eaten much today, so the alcohol hits my stomach like a warm blast.

“Alright, I wanna make a toast,” Jake announces, standing with his shot held out towards the blond next to him. “Firstly, to my sister, Diana, for the last minute decorating.”

“Well, you obviously weren’t going to do it,” Diana says with a laugh. 

“Exactly,” he says. “And then to all of you - for making this past year as successful as it has been.”

For one blissful moment I had allowed myself to forget why I was here, why they’ve had such a successful year. It takes .2 seconds for the anxious pit in my chest to grow twice its size. I’m the first one to finish my shot and then sip heavily on my cocktail to wash the taste down.

“Alright, the first game we’re playing is Thunderstruck, so everyone top off their drinks,” Will says, heading over to where the Christmas music’s playing from. 

Since mine is already more than halfway gone, I shoot to my feet to fill it back up. I’m not the first one to the drinks table because Kyle is there ladeling in some kind of fizzing purple punch. 

“Want one?” Kyle asks as I glance over my shoulder at Thomus, who briefly looked at me before turning to greet Diana.

“Yes, please,” I reply. “Two actually.”

“This your doing or his?” he asks, his voice low. By this he doesn’t even have to clarify - I just know.

I look up at him and shrug with one shoulder. “Mine.”

“Hmph,” he grunts unhappily. He finishes filling the first glass and then starts the second.

“What, don’t believe me?” I ask, taking a sip of the punch. Elderberry and something that tastes like Aloe juice. 

“I believe you,” he says quickly. “Now it’s just my turn to hold up my end of the bargain.”

I sigh heavily. “You haven’t figured out how to get me away from Thomus yet, have you?”

“Well, I have a few ideas, but I don’t think you’re going to like them.”

“Such as?”

Before he can answer, we get called back to the group to start the song. I’m supposed to hide the fact that I have my magic, so with both hands I carefully cradle my half drink plus the two new ones back to the loveseat. Thomus is still chatting with Diana, a conversation I’ve completely tuned out, so I just slide our drinks onto the coffee table in front of us. 

“Melisa, can you explain the rules?” Will asks. 

I’m a bit taken aback by the use of my whole first name - especially being pronounced correctly - instead of my last. Everyone’s eyes are on me now, so I take a deep breath before spilling the details. “Okay so, we go in a circle and every time the song says ‘thunder’, one person drinks until they say ‘thunder’ again, and then the next person starts and so on and so forth, does that make sense?”

“I’ll start!” Will says before pressing play and jogging over. He comes to sit on the armrest of our loveseat.

The first few thunders come in quick succession, so once Will goes, I go, and then Thomus. The thunders go around the circle a few times before the first long stretch lands on Thomus, who has to finish his whiskey, and with some encouragement, grabs the punch I push towards him. With the circle being small, by the time the song’s over, everyone has finished their drinks.

“Now that we’ve all settled in,” Will jokes, “the next game we’re playing is called Captain.” He sets the music back to Christmas music and turns the volume down to a background level. “Usually, it’s played with a pirate's hat or a sailors hat, but since it’s Christmas - “ he waves his wand and a Santa hat appears on Diana’s head, much to her delight “ - this is what we’ve got. Does everyone know how to play?”

I shake my head, noticing the alcohol has started to loosen my limbs. I’d finished my cocktail during the game and have started on the punch - which I swear keeps refilling itself.

Diana rubs her hands together conspiratorially and leans forward over Thomus to explain. “Whoever has the hat gets to pick someone to do a dare. If they do the dare, then we all take a shot and they get the hat, but if they don’t then they’re out of the game. Last person in the game wins.”

I smile at her. “Please don’t pick me first.”

She laughs. “Don’t worry, I got my eyes on someone else.” She jerks her chin towards Jake, who immediately dons this ‘oh shit’ face. She leans back, crossing her arms with a shit eating grin.

“Why’s it called Captain?” I ask. “Just because of the hat?”

“Whenever someone gets the hat, we’re supposed to say ‘Aye, Aye Captain’,” Thomus explains for me, his face leaning in close. 

I immediately giggle. “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”

He runs his hand down my thigh and tilts his head in confusion. “What?”

I shift in my seat, getting closer to him so our thighs touch. “Nevermind.”

“Aye, aye Captain!” Roosevelt and Will shout. 

Diana taps her chin like she’s still considering. “Hmm, dear brother, what shall I make you do?” Then she grins. “I dare you to take your socks off with your teeth and wear them tucked into your collar for the rest of the game.”

My head quickly swivels to where Jake is sitting to get his reaction and he does not disappoint. His face scrunches up in disgust as he slouches in his seat, already toeing off his nice shoes. 

“Hopefully those aren’t the ones you were wearing yesterday,” Will laughs. “Or are they?”

“Shut your trap, Hoffman,” Jake grumbles. 

We all wait with baited breath as he grabs his calf to pull his foot closer to his face. He quickly traps the sock between his bared teeth and pulls. It slips off and he does the same to the other one before tucking them both into his collar. 

He grins triumphantly and quickly summons house slippers for his bare feet. “Ha!” he says. “Drink up, assholes.”

We all take our drinks as the Santa hat gets transferred to Jake. 

“Aye, Aye Captain!” we all shout. 

His eyes jump from person to person, and he’s quick to settle on Kyle, who clearly isn’t paying attention. 

Kyle’s sole focus is on Thomus, blatantly staring at him with something akin to determination and consideration. 

The look quickly disperses as my stare gives Jake’s intention away and Kyle’s expression neutralizes. 

“Kyle,” Jake says. “I dare you to serenade the person to your right.”

Kyle sighs dramatically, rubbing his hand down his face. “I’m not nearly drunk enough for this.”

Nevertheless, he swiftly gets down on his knees in front of Diana, a hand clutched over his heart. As he’s clearly about to break out in song, I briefly wonder if he’ll have a decent singing voice, and I find out soon enough as he belts out the easily recognizable first notes to All I Want for Christmas is You . His voice is off-pitch and scratchy, and I genuinely can’t tell if he’s being bad on purpose or not. Everyone starts laughing and I can’t help but join in. 

When he gets to the end of the first verse, he takes Diana’s hand and gives the back of it an exaggerated kiss. We give him a round of applause as he takes his seat. Jake gives Kyle the hat while we take our drink for the round.

It doesn’t surprise me that Kyle chooses Thomus, I only worry what he’ll make him do. He’s looking around, trying to come up with an idea until his eyes land on Thomus’ drink in his hand. 

“Malfoy, I triple doxy dare you to… finish yours and Alder’s drinks in one go.”

Thomus scoffs. “And here I thought you were going to pick something difficult.” He quickly finishes the rest of his punch in a few gulps before trading glasses with me. “Tada,” he proudly announces after easily downing the rest of mine, then he stands holding our four empty glasses by the rim in one hand. “Drink up.”

As Thomus goes across the room to refill our punch, Kyle leans forward, staring at me intently. 

“We need to get him drunk,” he hisses low. 

I blink at him in surprise, then jump my gaze first to Thomus’ back and then to the rest of the group. No one seems as surprised as I am. Even Roosevelt, who I overheard someone refer to him as Eric, doesn’t bat an eye. Is everyone in on this plot?

“That’s your plan?” Will asks incredulously.

“It’s the start of one,” Kyle answers. “Get him so drunk he passes out and she can just… leave.”

“Just leave ?” I ask. I look to the windows, searching for that shimmer from the magical barrier from before. “What about -”

“The tattoo doesn’t work here,” Jake quickly adds. “And there aren't any additional wards to trap you here.”

Everyone is looking at me, waiting for my response. My heart has leapt to my throat to block any logistical questions I have before Thomus swoops back into his seat.

“What’s that look for?” Thomus asks me. I quickly snatch the glass he hands me to swallow my thrumming heart back into my chest. 

Diana jumps in for my rescue. “I was just telling her about my ex.”

“Oh Merlin,” Thomus groans, slumping back against the loveseat. “It’s not a story about me, is it?”

What? Jesus fuck, these people keep smacking bludgers at me one after another. 

I try not to react outwardly to the news that Diana and Thomus used to date, even if this news is just as jarring as the imminent plan for my escape from him. I focus on her, really taking in what she looks like. Extremely tall and willowy with big round hazel eyes and a cupid’s bow mouth. Jealousy flares up inside because I can’t help but compare us. Her thighs combined are the size of just one of mine. 

She flips her long dirty blond hair over her shoulder and crosses her legs, perching an elbow on the armrest of her chair. “No, but I ought to, shouldn’t I?”

“Definitely not,” Thomus says, quickly sitting forward with a hand outstretched towards Kyle. “Pass me the hat.” He settles the white faux fur rim of the Santa hat over his dark curls. 

“Aye aye, Captain!” they all shout. I’m too anxious and fixate my eyes on my drink, still fizzing on the coffee table in front of me. My mind is racing with all that could potentially happen. Where would I go? How long could I hide? Could I be summoned back because of the tattoo? If the idea is to get me close to Voldemort, wouldn’t fleeing just put a target on my back? I wonder if I’d be able to get a message to Hermione about -

Thomus’ hand brushes down my arm. “Melisa?”

My eyes snap to his, focused on me, and I swallow around nothing. “Yeah? Sorry.”

He gives me a sly smile. “It’s your turn.”

“Alright,” I sigh, making a face. “Lay it on me.”

He takes a deep breath and I expect it to be something genuinely challenging, but in all honesty it’s a bit underwhelming. “I dare you to sing the alphabet… backwards.”

I snort. “Jokes on you because I was taught that in the second grade.” 

“Oh, I’m sure,” he grins. “Let’s hear it, then.”

Looking at him, I feel less nervous about making a fool of myself in front of everyone else. So I start to sing, keeping my eyes on him or on his person, because after a few moments the prolonged eye contact makes my face heat. 

Even after I’m finished with the letters, I keep going with the end of the song. “ Now we know our ZYXs’, next time we will go to Texas. ”

Will laughs. “Why the fuck are we going to Texas?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Ask Mr. Morley.”

“Who the fuck is that?”

“My elementary school music teacher,” I reply smoothly. “Now drink the fuck up.”

Jake is the first to finish his drink, so he stands to get a refill. “We should play something else. All our dares suck, no ones gotten out yet.”

“I’ve got a good one,” I say quickly. I’d taken a drink, too, because why not? Who wants to make hard decisions sober?

I pluck the Santa hat off Thomus’ head and slip it over mine. “You ready, Will?”

Will squares his shoulders, facing me dead on, expression serious. “Born ready.”

“I dare you to recite a poem - any poem, but you -” I start to blow a raspberry with my tongue in between every word “- have to talk like this.”

Will snickers. “You got that from Spongebob.”

“So what if I did? You still gotta do it,” I smile. “And I don’t think I heard my ‘aye aye, Captain’.”

Jake and Kyle are the only ones who don’t say it. Kyle is lost in his thoughts if his dead eye stare at his drink is evidence enough, and Jake is too far away at the food and drinks table to care.

It’s hard to keep the grin off my face as Will complies with my dare. “ Mosquito lands on my cheek. I try to slap her, but I just slap me. ” He finishes by standing with a bow. 

“That’s it?” Diana protests. “It was so short.”

“It’s a haiku,” Thomus explains. “A type of Japanese poem.”

“Oh, yeah that’s right,” she says. “Do you still work for the Daily Prophet? Or has that taken a backseat for… other things?” 

“A bit of both, really,” he sighs. “The Dark Lord hasn’t required much of me lately, so I’ve been helping Barnabas Cuffe with editing. In addition to helping my sister-in-law with the New Year’s Eve Gala she’s hosting.”

“Speaking of,” Jake says, rejoining the group, “why weren’t we invited?” It’s obvious he’s not really offended, just genuinely curious. 

Thomus sighs and speaks with a hint of resentment. “Only the Sacred Twenty-Eight and whoever’s crawled up through the Dark Lord’s ranks, I’m afraid. Not even the Lots are allowed to be present.”

“Well, if you’re free, Melisa,” Diana says, speaking to me. “You’re welcome to come to a New Years Eve party here. It would just be us and a few of my girlfriends from Oxford.”

I’m genuinely shocked and flattered that this goddess is inviting me to a party, but I know that this has to be a backup plan for escape if tonight doesn’t go as Kyle wants it. I don’t even get a chance to respond because Thomus puts a possessive hand on my leg, wedging his long fingers into the tight space between my thighs. 

“Unfortunately, that’s not possible,” Thomus says, speaking for me with a tone of finality, and doesn’t even bother to explain why.

She peers at us curiously for a moment before realization dawns. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I totally forgot.”

The tray with all our mini shot cauldrons fill back up as Thomus just gives a silent nod of acknowledgement. 

We play another couple rounds of Captain before all the drinks finally start to do their job and loosen everyone up. I know I’m starting to feel it, especially when I stand to go find a bathroom. 

Thomus insists on accompanying me, especially when I steer towards the bathroom down by the kitchens. He takes me back out to the lobby, showing me where the bathrooms are there. Secretly, I’m glad, because I don’t think I’d be able to make it up and down all those stairs without tripping at least once. I don’t think Thomus would either, based on how many times he bumps into me. 

He even follows me into the women’s bathroom, insisting that it doesn’t matter since we’re the only ones in there. 

“I didn’t realize how clingy you were,” I tease, saddling my way into one of the stalls to do my business.

He slides into the one next to me. “Oh, poppycock. I’m just being a gentleman and making sure you don’t fall in.”

My laugh is sharp and loud in the echoey bathroom. “That actually happened to me when I was in preschool. The seat wasn’t down so my butt got all wet and I just sat there waiting to be rescued by a teacher.”

I hear his warm chuckle. “How old were you?”

“Four,” I say as I finish and leave the stall to wash my hands. He joins me a moment later, still chuckling to himself. “What?”

He shakes his head absently. “Nothing, you’re just… adorable.”

I snort as I reach for a paper towel. “Right.”

He dries his hands too and quickly reaches for me as I try to pass him to the door. He leans back against the counter, a hand on my hip and one on my cheek, pulling me towards him. I don’t resist and lean into him, our lips quickly meeting. My arms snake around his waist, wanting a hug at the same time, because it strikes me that if I leave tonight… this could be it. 

I still have a million doubts and questions that need answered, but right now… right now he wants me and I need to bask in it for as long as I can, while I still have the chance.

I deepen the kiss and I boldly slip one of my hands to the front of his jeans. He’s already semi-hard, but at my touch, he groans and bites my lip. 

“You want to do this here?” he asks, his voice husky.

I nod, my other hand coming around to undo his pants and slip my hand inside. “I want you so bad.”

He drags kisses along my jaw and down my neck. “It’ll have to be quick.”

“And hard,” I breathe, practically panting with want already.

Determination in his movements now, he flips us around until my fupa is pressed against the sink counter and he’s grinding against my ass. He moves my hair away from my neck, sensually kissing the soft spot below my ear. Over my sweater his hands slowly grope down from my chest, then my stomach and the fleshy “handles”, as he’s called them before, where my fupa meets my hips. 

I push my ass back against him. “I thought you said we had to be quick.”

He bites my neck, wringing a moan from me. “Patience,” he warns. 

One hand lets go of my handle and slips underneath to firmly cup the junction between my legs. I sigh heavily and whine, rocking my hips, increasing the pressure on my clit. 

“Fuck,” he groans out. Finally he hooks his fingers into my waistband and yanks my pants and undies down to my knees. I push my ass out towards him when he takes a step back to pull his cock out. He moans when his tip pushes through my lips, feeling how wet I am. Then he doesn’t waste a second longer and slides home. 

I cry out, biting my lip in an attempt to keep it muffled. I plant my hands on the smooth cold counter and immediately start rocking back and forth, desperately impatient. With a hand on the center of my back, he pushes me forward while snapping his hips to my ass, seamlessly sliding into the pace I’d set. Quick staccato slapping echoes around the room as he thrusts hard and deep. My eyes roll back into my head, hardly aware of the noises I’m making because I’m too busy losing my mind to the pleasure.

He slows all too soon, pulling me back up to attach his mouth to my neck again. My back bends to accommodate him, and while still keeping him buried to the hilt, my chest juts out. He takes advantage of the position and pushes my sweater up until his fingers find the band of my bra and he pushes that up too. My heavy breasts fall into his hands and he groans, pinching my nipples, and fucking into me with slow, but hard thrusts. 

My eyes flutter open briefly, a sudden urge to see. He’s fucked me in front of a mirror before, but he hasn’t done it since I’ve gotten my sight back. Admittedly, I have a bit of an out of body experience, looking at what’s happening instead of feeling it. I hate what I look like, of course. Sometimes in my head I look different than I really do and seeing myself in the mirror can be pretty jarring. 

But then I look at Thomus’ face. He’s so… wrapped up in me, hands full, mind clearly numb with ecstasy. 

I close my eyes again, grimacing, swallowing down the sudden onslaught of longing and loss. It’s probably all the alcohol, but tears fill my vision because I just can’t bear losing this. I quickly blink them away, avoiding looking in the mirror again. 

I don’t want to ruin the moment, so I start pushing back against him again, urging him to pick up the pace. 

He obliges me for a few moments until he slows to a stop. He’s still panting and holding me against him before he sighs heavily.

“Darling, you feel amazing, but I don’t think I can finish,” he murmurs hesitantly, sounding regretful. 

I nod, sniffling. “It’s okay, we can stop.”

He pulls out and I swiftly right myself, pants back over my hips, bra holding what it should, sweater in the right place. It’s only then that I look in the mirror again. Luckily he didn’t bite me too hard, so there’s no hickey to cover up. I just wet my fingers and run them through my hair before flipping it back over. Leaning close to the mirror, I check that my makeup is still good.

“Were you crying?” he asks point blank, staring at me in the mirror. 

“No,” I lie, but I feel a river about to gush out of my nose, so I quickly snag a paper towel and blow into it. “I just had to sneeze real bad and didn’t wanna ruin the moment.”

Fully dressed again, he slides a hand down my butt, gripping it appreciatively. “I’d be happy to help you finish,” he suggests.

I shake my head. “No, it’s okay,” I say, forcing a reassuring smile on my face. I rock up onto the balls of my feet to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. “Still scratched that itch and felt amazing.”

He takes my hand, pulling me to the door. “Then let’s get back. Hopefully they won’t give us too much grief for taking so long.” He smirks down at me and winks. Actually winks . It's such a quick thing, but it makes my heart contract in my chest with the need to be wrapped up in him again. 

God I’m so fucked.

~*~

As predicted, when we return Will and Jake are quick to wolf whistle. They’re over by the music and Thomus joins them while I sink into his seat next to Diana. My face has got to be as red as my sweater, but Diana doesn’t comment on it. She just hands me a full shot cauldron with an understanding look. Grateful, I take the shot. Getting dicked down sobered me a bit more than I wanted.

Eric is busy scribbling away in a little notebook and next to him is Kyle and his stupid judgmental face.

I ignore him and focus on Diana. “So what did you study at Oxford?”

“I studied Art History,” she says, “but I didn’t get, like, a degree or anything. I just wanted to know a little more about the art I was seeing in the museums here.”

“That’s one thing I haven’t done since I’ve gotten to England,” I say. “I used to love going to museums.”

She tilts her head, looking curious. “Were you meant to stay long?”

I shrug. “I had an internship at the Daily Prophet, which I’d been hoping would lead to a full time position at some point.”

“Oh, so you worked with Thomus then?” she asks. “You knew him… before.”

“No, actually,” I say, reaching over for my punch. “I… He wasn’t around all that much while I was there.” 

“What gives with the Deathly Hallows mark on the tree?” Kyle asks out of the blue. “You know it’s just a story, right?”

Diana, who’s clearly much more sober than Kyle is right now, looks at him without mirth. “It’s very real.”

I nod along, knowing all too well the truth behind the Deathly Hallows.

“Grindelwald murdered a lot of our family with the Elder Wand,” Diana continues. “Not to mention, I’ve seen invisibility cloaks with my own eyes.” She grimaces. “And yes, I know what I just said is an oxymoron.”

With another pull of my drink, I feel gutsy enough to ask something that’s been on my mind for a while. I lean closer to her and lower my voice. “So… has your brother… always been… “ I sigh. I feel silly saying ‘on our side’, but how else can I put it? “I don't know, I guess I'm asking about allegiances.”

Kyle gives me an ‘are you serious’ look. “Of course he’s been in on it,” he says, as if it should’ve been obvious. 

“The entire time?” I ask skeptically, distinctly remembering how not nice he was when we met the night Montague got beat the fuck up by Thomus.

“He’s playing the long game,” Diana explains. “Jake’s very good at wasting The Great Order’s time.” 

Her eyes are on the three men in the corner and I turn to look just as the three of them take a shot. “Does Thomus know?” I ask, my voice low.

“Thomus is under the impression that Jake just has reservations about certain things,” she says. 

“Participating without actually participating,” I surmise.

She nods. “Exactly.” Her gaze is drawn to Eric, and she stares at him for a moment before she asks, “What happened to your hand, Eric?”

Eric looks up, seeming to have forgotten where he was. He looks around and finds the three of us looking at him. Then the question seems to sink in and he looks down at his hand. Bandages wrap around his palm and twist up his two middle fingers.

“Oh, I uh, had a bit of an accident a few days ago,” he says. “Working on the…“ He eyes me for a second before looking back at Diana. “On the thing.”

“You don’t have to speak in code,” Kyle says to him. “She can handle a few more secrets.”

I nod in agreement, though really it has nothing to do with how good I am at keeping secrets. I’m just too nosey for my own good.

“Right, sure, yeah,” Eric says. He looks down at his notebook. “I’m having a bit of a timing issue. I think I’ve got the explosive strong enough, but it seems the stronger it gets, the less time I have before it goes off.”

I quickly glance back at Thomus, catching him downing another shot, before turning back and whispering, “You’re building a bomb?”

He nods. “Something powerful enough to break through Anti-Apparition wards.”

My eyes widen. “That’s a thing?”

The corners of his mouth turn up in an amused grin. “I’m definitely trying to make it one.”

“Do you have the recipe?” I ask, a bit eager. “I’ve had a similar issue with magical film developer. I might be able to help.”

“Yeah, here.” He flips through a couple pages until he lands on a spread that’s definitely got more use than the rest, then passes it to me.

As I scan the page, I see that a few of the core ingredients are the same, just how they’re incorporated is slightly different. The measurements are also scaled down for testing purposes.

“If this were to scale, how much willow root would you add?” I ask. 

“The entire root, but I chop it up.”

“If you grind it down into a powder and then weigh it, it’s easier to be more precise with the amount you add,” I explain, not looking up from the page. “And you’re not adding nearly enough bursting mushroom powder.”

When I look up, Eric’s head is tilted, his eyes unfocused, his mind clearly running away from him with this new information. “Interesting,” he says. 

“Magical film developing potion always implodes on itself. It’s just a fact. But I’ve made it so much that I can time it down to the second it’ll implode,” I explain. “Would you… want me to write the recipe down for you? Then you can compare.”

He blinks back into focus, nodding eagerly. “Yes, please do. Here.” He passes me his pen and I quickly jot down my recipe on the next available page in his book.

By the time I’m done, the music gets turned up, and the three in the corner start making their way over to us. I toss down the rest of my drink before reaching for Thomus’, but Kyle stops me. 

“Don’t,” he warns.

I quickly put two and two together. “What did you put in here?” I demand with a hushed voice.

“Relax,” he says, standing. “It’s just something to speed things up.”

Completely oblivious, Thomus plops right down next to me, swinging his arm around my shoulders. 

“Is that mine?” he asks, not bothering to wait for my response before he grabs his drink and chugs it. He audibly plonks the glass onto the coffee table and turns to me, grinning mischievously from ear to ear, looking like he has a dirty secret he can’t wait to share with me. I return his smile with a hesitant one of my own. 

He leans close to speak in my ear, though he’s not exactly quiet. “Have I told you how beautiful you are?”

My face immediately flushes because everyone heard that. I look around in panic to find everyone staring at us, too. Their expressions aren’t of disgust, though, just surprise.

“Oh my god,” I say, covering my face with my hands. I shoot to my feet. “I need a drink.”

As I speed away, I hear Thomus ask, “What did I say?”

I glance over my shoulder to see Diana covering her mouth in a fit of giggles and Jake shakes his head. “Dude.”

I’m munching on one of my red cookies when Thomus comes up behind me, his hand drifting down my back to settle on my waist. “What’s the matter?” he asks.

“Nothing. You just -” I glance up at him, noting his dilated pupils and flushed cheeks. “I guess I’ve just never seen you so relaxed. Especially around other people. And we’re acting like we’re…” My heart’s thundering in my chest as I force the last few words out. “Like we’re a couple.”

He turns to face me and leans a hip on the table. “You’re right, it is a bit out of our usual routine,” he admits, his expression serious. “I apologize if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

I sigh and shrug a shoulder. “No more than you usually do.” I put my hand over his where it rests on the table, pushing the tips of my fingers against his knuckles. “And I don’t hate… this, how it feels, you know? It’s just hard to pair it with everything else,” I say. “If that makes sense.”

He nods slowly, looking down at our hands. “This is all new for me, if you can believe it,” he says softly. “I just wanted you to enjoy yourself.”

I bump his hip with mine. “Hey, we fucked in the bathroom. I’d say I'm having a decent time.”

He snickers and leans in to kiss my cheek. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

I don’t know how to respond to that, based on tonight’s agenda, but luckily Will calls us over from a card table Jake summoned to play Exploding Snap.

~*~

A little while later we’re all sitting around the card table. I’ve elected not to play since I don’t have my wand and technically Thomus doesn’t know that they know I have my magic.

Throughout the game, Thomus gets noticeably drunker than everyone else, despite only sipping his drink. During one round while waiting for his turn, I guess all the drinks and whatever Kyle spiked his drink with, finally catch up with him. He passes out with his head propped in one hand and the other loosely clutching his cards. 

When they notice, the room goes silent except for the Christmas music still playing. Kyle slowly reaches over and shakes Thomus’ shoulder, making his head fall right onto the table with an ominous thunk that does not match the vibe of McCartney’s Wonderful Christmastime .

I stare at his face, overwhelmingly anxious about his well-being, when an uncharacteristic snore breaks through the silence between songs. 

“Finally,” Jake sighs, tossing his cards onto the table and running a hand over his face. “You sure about this, Kyle? There’s no turning back from this.”

Kyle stands, pulling out his wand. “Trust me. This is the only way.’

“What happens now?” I ask. 

Kyle moves Thomus’ unconscious form into the air where he hovers with his arms and head dangling.

But he doesn’t answer me. 

“ Kyle ,” I press, “what happens now?”

“Now, we put him to bed and by the time he wakes in the morning, you’ll be long gone,” he answers, moving with Thomus towards the stairs on the other side of the room.

I stand too, quickly following him to demand answers. “Where, exactly, will I be?”

“That’s up to you,” he answers casually. “You can probably get away with hiding here in this massive fucking house until he leaves.”

“What, you think he’s just gonna accept that I’m gone?” I ask. “No questions asked?”

“Yeah, we’ll just tell him you must’ve left in the middle of the night or something. What room am I putting him in, Jake?”

We’ve gotten to the stairs and it’s only then I realize everyone has followed us, with Will right behind me. 

“Three doors down from the top of the stairs,” Jake answers. “On the left.”

I realize it’s the same room he put us in before and my face heats at the memory of being bound to the wall and fingered within an inch of my life. We get into the room and I rush forward to pull the velvety soft duvet back from the pillows. Kyle gently lowers him and I make sure he’s settled properly to avoid potentially choking on his own vomit in his sleep. 

“What now?” I ask, pulling off Thomus’ shoes and tucking his legs under the blankets before pulling up the unfitted sheet to his chest.

“Merlin,” Kyle exclaims. “Will you quit it?”

I cross my arms over my chest. “ No , I won’t,” I say tightly. “We need this figured out before there’s no going back.”

“Fine,” he says, mimicking my stance and leaning against the wall. “What’re you so worried about?”

I take a deep breath, trying to speak calmly. “What makes you so sure he’s not going to find me?”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s literally the Death Eater’s best tracker.”

“He hasn’t found George Weasley,” Will says.

“I’ve no fucking idea how George has managed to avoid getting caught by anyone , given how much of a high profile he has, but there’s no way I could do the same and be close to Voldemort like you want. A missing Lot? The Death Eaters are gonna go apeshit.”

“What about that Lot that escaped early on? Killed her owner and everything,” Kyle says.

“I’m pretty positive she’s straight up left the country,” I say, talking with my hands. “And I don’t think any of us are on board with killing him.”

Kyle nearly rolls his eyes. “I never said we had to kill him,” he says. “You’re here, out of your wards. There’s no need.”

“Okay, well me leaving the country is the exact opposite of what we want,” I say and start to pace. “How long would I be hiding?”

“I don’t know,” Kyle answers, shrugging. “Could be months.”

“Great, so you’re just gonna come get me when it’s time to, what, attack Hogwarts? Do you really think there’s gonna be another fight there? Or are we waiting for him to make an appearance somewhere?”

“I’ve heard he’s pretty reclusive right now, actually,” Will pipes in. “He hardly leaves the school.”

“Great!” I exclaim with fake enthusiasm. “So I’ll just camp out in the Forbidden Forest, then? Take my chances at running into Dementors, Death Eaters, centaurs, fuckin’ giant spiders , for fucks’ sake?”

“Girl’s got a point, Kyle,” Jake says, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the ornate bed post. 

“Well, what else is she going to do? She’s useless to The True Order just playing house with a Malfoy,” Kyle says.

“Hey, I’ve done stuff,” I protest. “I’ve passed important notes to the Order, hidden a fugitive right under Thomus’ nose, and it was me who got the word to that safehouse that it was going to be raided.”

“ What ?!” Jake looks at me absolutely stunned. “That was you?”

“Yes! Who else in that room from the meeting would’ve tipped them off?” I ask. “ And I’ve managed to become immune to that scary as shit magic suppression potion. Have you ever taken that shit? It’s utterly terrifying to not have your magic.” I stop my pacing and look around at all of them. “To be completely at the mercy of someone who couldn’t give a shit whether you lived or died? We’ve all been sterilized and raped and branded as property. ” 

I pull my left sleeve up, bearing the tattoo and the scars Bellatrix left me. Diana’s visibly horrified and everyone else just looks mildly uncomfortable. “And these are just the scars I’m willing to show you.”

I force myself to calm down, breathing deep in through my nose and out my mouth. “I’m not going to jump headfirst into a plan held together with Spellotape and superglue,” I say after a moment. “Thomus trusts you guys. Aren’t you his best friend, Jake? Are you really gonna break his trust by losing something he obviously has put a lot of time and effort into keeping alive?”

Kyle is glaring hard at the carpet and Jake's intense focus jumps between me and Thomus. 

Jake exhales heavily. “She’s right.”

My shoulder’s sag with relief. “Thank you.”

“We have to think of a legitimate way to get you away from him,” Diana says. “Do you think he’d ever… let you go?”

I frown. “Like… set me free?” 

She nods. “Then maybe you could get scooped up by another Death Eater or something, someone who works more closely with You-Know-Who or who’d… loan you, I guess.”

I turn around to gaze at Thomus, sleeping soundly, and recall every possessive look or grab he’s given me. “No,” I say softly. “There’s no way he’d let me go willingly.”

Kyle snorts. “Yeah I second that. The asshole nearly slits my throat if I even talk to her when he’s not around.”

“Even if I could convince him somehow,” I say, “it wouldn’t matter what he wanted. I know he’d use the Death Eaters as an excuse. He couldn’t pretend I was gone if someone saw me. The Malfoy’s reputation and the trust the Dark Lord has in them would be put in jeopardy. There’s no way he’d risk the lives of his family.”

“Is there anybody that out ranks him?” Will asks. “Someone who could make that choice for him.”

“I’m not sure, really,” I admit. “I’m sure there is, but I don’t know who. Someone older, like his brother maybe?”

“We just need a reason for them to take you from him,” Jake explains. “Like a change of… ownership.”

“Who, though?” I ask. “And why?”

“Probably best if that’s something for us to figure out,” Kyle says pointedly. “Just in case.”

I sigh heavily and start heading towards the door. “Whatever. All I care about is that it’s legit, okay? Something that’s not gonna get any of us killed.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Will agrees, stepping out of my way. “Where’re you going?”

“To stand outside and pretend that I’m free.”

[bella-rose29]

Chapter 6 - The Tour

This is gonna be a big one, so buckle in. Also there's a weird perspective change in the middle that I wasn't sure how to do so there's just three dashes (---) instead because that was the best I could come up with, and it didn't feel right to split it into two parts.

I can't promise any updates for the next two weeks because I'll be on holiday and I have no idea how much access I'm gonna have, but I'll try and get the next part out (there's only 2 or 3 more probably) as soon as I can after I get back :)

Please let me know if you wanna be added to or removed from the tag list as well!

Warnings: past trauma (they're actually gonna talk about it now so please be careful my lovelies), implied past rape

Word count: 6.7k (I don't know how this happened)

Series master list here!

Tag list: @kentucky-criedfricken, @hauntedenthusiasttragedy, @kateswone, @historianthesecond, @polli05927, @ell0ra-br3kk3r

This tour was going to be the death of Nikolai, and it had only just started.

While he and Y/N had built up some sort of relationship over the second part of their honeymoon and the following few weeks, the carriage rides were still a little awkward. Neither of them had said anything about when she had kissed him on the cheek that night (which he could swear he still felt sometimes), and now they had to spend every hour of the day for the next few weeks together trying to prove to everybody that they were completely in love. Nikolai wasn't finding it as difficult as he thought he would, but then he'd always been one to fall hard and fast. He knew he was definitely on his way to being hopelessly besotted with her, especially after the coronation. He had no words to describe how beautiful she looked that day, and seeing her in a crown only gave him further proof that she would be perfect as Queen of Ravka. He had probably looked like a lovesick fool that day, staring at her with unmasked awe, but he found that he didn't care. He was mostly trying to figure out how in the name of all the Saints he got so lucky to have her as his wife.

But this carriage ride was awkward.

She'd agreed to sharing a room with Tamar while Nikolai roomed with Tolya (since back at the Grand Palace they were sleeping separately anyway), but the night before Y/N had seen Zoya going into his room. The inn was small, only really large enough to house the touring party, but they'd put Nikolai as far away from everyone else as possible, just in case something happened. Tolya had been busy securing the perimeter when Nikolai had gone to bed, so Zoya had come to chain him in for the night, but neither of them accounted for the fact that she might be seen by Y/N. His wife had gone to bed over thirty minutes ago, so they had assumed that she was asleep.

When she then appeared on the landing after apparently needing a wee, she'd frozen, then disappeared into her room.

Breakfast that morning had been slightly tense, especially since Y/N had refused to meet either Nikolai or Zoya's eyes.

It was obvious that she thought that the two of them had slept together in the more... intimate way, but Nikolai hadn't had the chance to explain that that wasn't the case yet, since they had all been too busy packing and getting ready to go on the road.

So now the two of them were sat in the carriage, tension filling the air, and Nikolai thought that this might be the death of him. He didn't think he could just say "Oh, by the way, Zoya and I aren't having sex, she's just chaining me to my bed every night and sedating me so that the demon that lives inside me doesn't get out and kill anyone."

Yeah he definitely couldn't do it like that.

“Is there something wrong with me?”

The question shocked Nikolai, and he couldn’t help but jump in surprise a little at the sudden loudness in the quiet of the carriage. 

“Not at all, darling, why would you think so?” 

“Because you ran away on our wedding day, and you ran away that night - which I know we've sort of talked about, but still - and you said that you ‘definitely didn’t want this marriage’, and you haven’t visited me in my chambers the entire time we've been married, but Zoya has visited yours for all of them, including last night which I did see, by the way, which is fine if the rumours are true, but I want to know if there’s something wrong with me. And don’t call me darling, I don’t like it.” She was slightly out of breath when she’d finished, and Nikolai immediately felt horrible for not giving her the reason as to why he’d left her, but he also knew he still wasn't able to tell her the truth, despite how close they had become the last few weeks. His next words were quiet, almost whispered. 

“There is nothing wrong with you, at all. I am the one who has something wrong with them. And I’m not... Zoya and I aren’t... they’re just rumours.” He had been looking her in the eye when he said it, hoping that she would see how sincere he was being, but now he turned back to look out the window, contemplating whether to say more or not. They were both quiet for a moment, before Nikolai spoke again. 

“The war was... horrible, to put it lightly. The things that people went through, well, I’m sure you know. I don’t think a single person that went through it has come out without some sort of scar. Mine are... they uh...” he took a shallow breath, trying to fight back the memories of being under the control of the Darkling’s creature, to fight back the memories of being powerless. He shut his eyes, squeezed his hands together, bit the inside of his cheek. “What happened to me, in the war, that’s why I left that night by the lake. I know it’s a crappy excuse, but I don’t think... to be honest? I'm scared. I'm scared that if you know the truth you'll leave, and I think I care about you too much now for that," his face went warm at the confession, but he kept going. "I had to leave because something was happening to do with what happened to me in the war, and I was trying to keep you safe. I know, I know, that it’s not nearly enough to make it up to you, and I realise that I hurt you, but it’s the best I can do for now.” He hoped that what he had said was enough, that she would let him further into her heart past the barrier that he had helped create, and when she nodded and said a small “Okay then” he could have jumped for joy. 

He deflated slightly when her brows furrowed, scared about what would come next. 

“So why did you run away on our wedding day then? Was it the same thing? And is it also why... why you haven’t... you know?” She blushed slightly at the last part, her voice getting smaller as she went on, and Nikolai could guess at what she meant. 

“It’s why I haven’t visited you, yes. But our wedding day it was just nerves. Truthfully, I was scared that you had run away, and that was what was taking so long, and I lost my nerve and went and hid in the workshops.” She let out a breathy laugh at that, and Nikolai felt hopeful for the days ahead. 

“You really do love building things, huh? Definitely not a very kingly thing to do, running away to go build things.”

“I’ve always loved making things. It’s more of a ‘Nikolai’ thing than a ‘King of Ravka’ thing, like you said, but it’s where I feel at home. There or on-” he cut himself off, not sure if he should reveal that part of himself. 

Ah, what the hell. She needed to know something true about him, even if it wasn't about the demon. 

“There or on the True Sea. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumours about where I went for those years when nobody could find me.”

Her eyes went wide. "Wait, you're Sturmhond?"

"Yep," altering his voice back to the accent he had used as the privateer. "The one and only, and just as handsome in the flesh." He laughed then, realising something. “I guess I have a habit of running away from things. Although running away from University was because I didn’t think they could teach me anything new or that I couldn’t teach myself, so- Saints, sorry. That probably sounded really arrogant and like I think I’m better than them and I don’t, I just read a lot when I was a child because I like learning, so I-” 

“Kolya! It’s fine,” she giggled, and Saints, he thought he’d died and gone to heaven. “I know you didn’t mean it in that way, and honestly you were just digging yourself further and further into a hole there.” All he could do was stare at her, though. 

“You called me Kolya.”

“Oh, would you rather I didn't? It just sort of slipped out. I don't have to call you that if you'd rather I didn't?” She was panicking slightly, so Nikolai reassured her, making sure she knew that it was fine to call him by the nickname.

The air between them turned comfortable again, when all of a sudden the carriage went over a dip in the road, jolting them and sending Y/N flying. 

Into his lap. 

His hands automatically went around her, one on her back, the other gripping her thigh, holding her in place so that she didn't fall, while both of hers landed on his chest. Their faces were so close he could feel her breath against his mouth, and their noses were brushing against each other. She was straddling him, legs on either side of his thighs, and his heart was beating so fast that he could have sworn she would be able to feel it through his jacket.

"Uh... Kolya?"

Saints, he needed to get her off of him.

Luckily she did it herself a second later, levering one of her legs over to the other side so that she was sat next to him. The carriage was small enough that they were squished in sat like that, and her thigh was pressing into his. He was sure his face was burning, and looking at her, she wasn't doing much better. He clenched his hands into fists in his lap, trying to ignore his reaction to having her sat on him.

"You okay? I can move back over if you want?" Y/N's voice was quiet, and as she got up to sit back where she was, he grabbed her wrist. She flinched slightly, eyes wide, and he quickly took it back.

"Sorry, I just... you don't have to move, darling," his voice was lower than he'd hoped, and he could tell that she'd noticed. Damn it. She sat back down, still next to him, and he cleared his throat.

The atmosphere was back to being awkward.

They spent the next ten minutes in silence, glancing at each other then quickly looking away when caught. Nikolai was glad when they came to a stop just outside the next town and he could breathe fresh air. He helped Y/N down, flushing when she put her hand in his. She stumbled slightly on the step, falling into him for the second time that day, and he heard her breath hitch in her throat.

"Alright?" he asked, hand on her waist again. She nodded in response, righting herself. They turned around to see the twins and Zoya watching them, Tamar with an eyebrow raised.

"Come on, lovebirds. Let's get you on the horses."

The aim of the tour was to show off the new Queen to the people, so Nikolai and Y/N would ride horses through the main roads up to the inn they would stay in for that night. It was bringing back memories from when he did the same thing with Alina, and although he had had feelings for her, he knew that what he felt for Y/N was far stronger.

This town was far more inviting than the previous one had been, with people lining the streets, cheering for the newly crowned monarch. Nikolai hadn't had the time to do this for his own coronation, and most people knew about him anyway, but he was pleased to see so many happy that they were there. He looked over at Y/N, smile wide on her face as she greeted people like she'd known them her whole life.

They had barely made it to the market square where they would dismount when a woman came rushing towards them, pushing through the crowd.

"Y/N! Y/N!!"

Her head whipped around, searching for the voice, and when she found it she squealed - actually squealed - practically leaping from her horse, running to the woman (who looked weirdly similar to Y/N) and throwing her arms around her. Nikolai realised with a jolt that she did know these people, and that the woman was her mother (which he'd like to claim as his observation skills, but really it was when she greeted the woman as 'mother'). He climbed off of his own horse, handing the reigns to one of the stable hands and thanking him. Y/N was still embracing her mother when he walked over to them, and they were talking so animatedly he wasn't sure how they were still hugging.

"Ah! Moi Tsar!" Y/N's mother curtsied, which both he and her daughter went to rectify.

"Oh, there's no need. You're Y/N's mother?" he asked, and she nodded in response. "Then family doesn't need to use formalities. And Nikolai, please." He flashed one of his smiles, hoping it would help win her over, but he clearly didn't need to worry as she launched herself at him, flinging her arms around him in a hug. He was surprised momentarily, but quickly recovered, wrapping his arms around her with a chuckle. When she pulled away she introduced herself, then promptly dragged Nikolai and Y/N over to a group of people at the back of the crowd. At the delighted sounds and cheers they gave, he assumed they were more relatives, and when they introduced themselves they confirmed his suspicions. The two of them spent the afternoon with her family, and he found that he was thoroughly enjoying himself, learning lots about her childhood and her family, baby pictures being brought out at some point (much to Y/N's dismay - she tried to wrestle them out of her mother's hands). Dinner was wonderful, cooked by Y/N's mother (who refused to let either of the monarchs help, even though they tried multiple times), and the conversation was easy.

By the time they were collected by Tamar, Nikolai felt far more like himself than he had for months. The last time he had felt this free was when he was Sturmhond, sailing on the Volkvolny.

It was nearly dark now, the sunset casting a glow over the town, and Y/N slid her arm through his, closing her eyes and basking in the warmth.

"I didn't realise this was your hometown. We should come back sometime, visit your family again," he said.

"I'm sure mother would love that, she was practically head over heels you the moment she saw you!"

He laughed, saying "I do have that effect on people, it's truly a blessing having a face as damnably handsome as mine. But don't worry, I won't start anything with your mother." She wrinkled her nose, then pretended to gag, and Nikolai laughed even harder.

"Saints, I did not enjoy the image that just came into my head, ugh." Y/N shuddered, clearly completely grossed out.

"We're here, let's get inside, there's a bed in there with my name on it," Zoya called out, and they followed her through the door of the inn. It was small, but homely, a fire in the front room warming the area and making Nikolai feel cosy here. Room keys were given out, but when Tamar handed Nikolai his, that was the last one. He frowned in confusion, since Y/N hadn't received hers yet.

"What about me?" She was also confused, but Tamar just said:

"You're going to have to share tonight. Don't worry, there's two beds, so you'll be fine." Nikolai stared at her, thinking she'd lost her damn mind.

"Tamar, a word?" He shot Y/N an apologetic look, then herded Tamar, her brother and Zoya into a separate, empty room. "Why are we sharing?" he demanded.

"You'll be fine, Nikolai. We'll give you the stronger sedative, you're in separate beds, and the twins have offered to take turns keeping watch outside your door, so if anything happens, they'll know, and we can hopefully stop it before it gets bad," Zoya explained, a small smile on her face. He couldn't help but feel that they had planned this.

"What? Oh, no, I'm not worried about that, I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm more concerned about the fact that we are sharing a room for the first time in a small room in a small inn!" He got dangerously close to shouting, calming himself down with some deep breaths. The three of them had to know that Nikolai and Y/N had not shared a room at night before, so why was it happening now? And why did it have to happen on the same day as having her in his lap and meeting her entire family?

"Like we said, there's two beds, so it's not like you're going to be sleeping on top of each other. Just calm down, and it will all be fine," Tamar soothed.

It was not all fine.

Tamar had lied.

There was only one bed.

"I'll sleep on the floor, I've slept in worse conditions," he said once he found his voice, both of them stood stupidly in the doorway.

"No, no, no, you take the bed. You forget that I have also slept in worse places than this. I'll sleep on the floor."

"What sort of husband would I be if I let my wife sleep on the floor? No, just give me a pillow and the throw and I'll be fine." He was panicking slightly now; he hadn't accounted for the fact that there might only be one bed, and that put Y/N in far greater danger if the demon came out because it was uncomfortable on the floor.

"Ugh, okay. A compromise. How about we both sleep in the bed?"

"Wh- uh... Are you sure? We haven't... we haven't even shared a room yet," now he was panicking because she had just offered to share the damn bed, and he wasn't sure he would ever get to sleep when the memory of her sat on him, cheeks flushed, came back to him.

"I mean, it's not like we're going to be naked or anything, right? And we're both mature adults, so I'm sure we can make it through one night together. That and we are actually married? Not sure if you remember that, but..." she was teasing him now, easing the tension.

"You know what? I do vaguely remember some sort of ceremony, lots of people, a beautiful girl..." he winked at her, getting braver as he went. He internally cheered when she blushed, scoffing slightly.

"Flirt."

"I don't need to flirt, we're already married, darling."

"You didn't propose, though, so maybe you do need to flirt. Since the whole marriage was arranged?" Was she outright asking him to flirt with her? He didn't mind if she was. Apparently he was getting his charm back when around her, so he wasn't opposed to it at all. She also hadn't told him to stop calling her 'darling' this time, assuming that she actually enjoyed the pet name and pocketing that piece of information away. They spent the next ten minutes getting ready for bed, swapping halfway through to take turns using the small bathroom that joined onto the main bedroom. Nikolai had gone in first, so now he was sat on the edge of the bed (they had picked sides already, although it was more Y/N had picked a side and he'd had to go where she wasn't), vial of sedative in hand. He couldn't decide when to take it, since it knocked him out pretty fast. Should he take it now, and avoid any questions? Or should he wait until she was asleep? His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door opening, Y/N stepping through. She was dressed in her nightclothes, and once again Nikolai found himself thinking about the carriage ride that morning.

"Are you okay? You look... not upset, but not happy," she asked, worry lacing her tone.

"I'm fine," he replied, and Y/N scoffed.

"Yeah, as a woman I can tell you that whenever someone says 'I'm fine' they're not fine. But if you don't want to talk about it I won't pressure you, okay? Similarly I'm here if you do want to," she said, the worry being replaced by something softer. She moved around the room, packing away her clothes from the day and brushing her hair.

"It's a sedative. To help me sleep."

She stopped brushing, turning her head to look at him in confusion. Placing the brush down, she walked back over to the bed, sitting down beside him.

"The thing you're holding? Do you get nightmares?"

"Yes to the first one. Technically yes to the second? But that's not why I take it." He was taking a risk, telling her this, but if today had told him anything it was that he was completely in love with Y/N, and that Zoya was, unfortunately, right, and he would rather the words came from him directly than Y/N found out through rumours, which she clearly hadn't heard since she'd been underground during the war. He would take it slow, reveal the truth in pieces to give her time to process it all.

"Oh. Do you have insomnia or something?"

"I'm possessed by a remnant of one of the Darkling's nichevo'ya and every now and then it wakes up at night to eat something."

So much for taking it slow.

He grimaced, looking over at her face. Her eyes had widened, mouth open slightly, and while he knew it was completely the wrong time he couldn't help but think about what it would be like to kiss her.

"You... what?"

"During the war, the Darkling attacked the Spinning Wheel, have you- you know about it? Alright. It was awful, so many good people died. His nichevo'ya ripped a man apart in front of us. When one of them headed straight for me I thought it would just... kill me." He paused, taking a breath and fighting back the memories of what came next. "I had been wounded, and he sent one of them... into me through the wound? That sounds stupid, actually, but I can't think how else to put it. It took over; I couldn't think for myself, couldn't read, couldn't talk. He'd stripped me of everything I pride myself on." Another pause, another breath.

"You don't have to keep going, if it hurts too much," she whispered, and he was grateful for her calmness to the information that he was possessed.

"No, it's... it's alright. I'm just trying to think about it as little as possible."

"Okay then. So why didn't it just... disappear when the Darkling died? The Fold did."

"Honestly? I'm not entirely sure. We've theorised that because he used merzost to create them, they're outside the laws of nature and therefore outside the law that if he dies, so does his power. But for about three months after the war it was dormant. Something triggered it, woke it up, and now I spend every night wondering if I'll wake up back in that body."

"So the sedative helps? Puts you deep enough under that it stops the demon?"

"Supposedly. Normally there's chains as well, but given we're sharing a bed I think we'll forgo those tonight."

"...Chains?"

"Yeah. That's why Zoya comes to my room, by the way. We're not... she's locking me up for the night to try and stop me escaping, which I think she enjoys a lot more than she should."

"Right."

He took another breath before taking off his gloves.

"Nik..." she gasped slightly at the blackened veins of his hands, reaching out to touch them, but hesitating.

"Even when the demon wasn't awake, I had this. Nothing we tried got rid of it. It won't hurt either of us, if you want to touch," he said, and he could have died a happy man when her fingers brushed his bare ones for the first time since they met. How are they so soft? It didn't make sense, especially given her upbringing in fields and having training sessions in the Little Palace, but he wasn't going to complain. He was feeling her skin for the first time, and he couldn't help but lean into her slightly. They sat like that for a while, her hand tracing over both of his.

"Thank you, Nikolai. That can't have been easy for you. So really, thank you."

"If there's a chance it might wake up and eat you tonight I'd rather you had some idea of what you were up against." She started at that.

"Will it eat me? Like is that a genuine worry I should have? Because I'll get someone else to sleep next to you if I might die, no matter how much I care about you." His heart skipped a beat knowing she cared about him, and he couldn't stop staring at their linked fingers.

"Hopefully not. So far it's satisfied with just livestock, but the twins are taking turns outside the door just in case it comes out so they can get you to safety. Obviously we don't want that to happen, but we've planned for every eventuality. Although I won't lie I didn't know there was only one bed in here. I'm convinced that they did and they're just trying to get us together." She laughed, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Well if you don't chew my arm off in the night, then I'll call that a success and their plan worked."

They spent another few minutes in comfortable silence, laying with each others' fingers.

When she spoke, it took him by surprise.

"I was 13 when I got left. In the dark." She was quiet again after that, for so long that Nikolai thought she'd gone to sleep on his shoulder. "I never usually stayed the night at the Little Palace, but it was somebody's birthday or something, and Zoya said I could share with her, so I did. He - the Darkling - was there, he'd uh... he'd always chosen me and Zoya to go on missions and things, since we were the most powerful, and he said that we'd both done so well on our last one he wanted to give us something as a show of gratitude."

Nikolai was frozen where he sat, mind racing at all the possibilities of what could have happened, and desperately hoped that none of them occurred.

"I went with him, of course I did, he was like an older brother to me, and since I never had someone like that it felt nice. I was tired, though, didn't notice when we left the path and headed into the woods. He-" she broke off, and Nikolai's heart clenched.

"You don't have to keep going, my darling. Not if you don't want to."

"I want to. I trust you." Those six words made his heart swell, and he kept his mouth shut, letting her continue in her own time. She took a shaky breath before speaking again.

"He told me to close my eyes, said he didn't want me seeing the gift too early because it was a surprise. I never noticed him leave. When I opened my eyes because I couldn't hear him anymore, I was alone in a clearing somewhere in the woods. I knew nobody would hear me, but I also knew that I had no idea where I was, and I could get more lost by just running blindly. I tried using my powers to find something to help me, but I was scared, and that made me weaker. Someone came up behind me - I won't say who - and grabbed me, and I was still too scared to do anything. I couldn't even hit him, I was just... lying there, frozen. He uh... he just..." she was blinking back tears, and Nikolai wrapped his arms around her, letting her sob into his chest. Part of him wanted her to say who it was that had hurt her, done such a thing to her, just so that he could hunt him down and kill him, but he understood if she didn't want to. She was already telling him so much. They sat like that for Saints knew how long, her crying into him and his hands stroking her back. At some point she sat up, eyes puffy and red from crying, and Nikolai didn't resist the urge to wipe away her tears.

---

His fingers were gentle, and his eyes were watery and filled with worry and care, which only made Y/N want to cry again. Knowing that the reason he had left her on their wedding night was because he was possibly going to eat her alive allowed her to feel safe enough to trust him with her trauma too, and she felt like she owed it to him to tell him why she'd been so upset about it. Seeing him with her family today had helped, especially since they had all taken an immediate liking to Nikolai, but even her mother had said what a wonderful man he was, and Y/N couldn't help but agree. Her mother had also said that he was probably incredible in bed, at which point Y/N had walked away from the conversation.

Of all the reasons why her husband hadn't had sex with her though, she hadn't expected it to be because he might eat her. Literally.

As he wiped the last of the tears off of her face, she studied him in the candlelight. She knew he was handsome, sure, but she didn't think she'd actually been this close to him before (apart from the carriage ride, but she was trying desperately not to think about that and how good it had felt to be sat on him). He really was gorgeous, golden locks neatly styled on his head, although as she looked she realised a few strands had come loose, resting against his forehead. She brushed them back, pushing them to join the rest of his hair, and his breath caught in his throat.

The mood wasn't right to kiss really, given what had been shared, but Y/N felt lighter knowing that they trusted each other. That the reason he had left was the complete opposite of what she had assumed; even when he'd known her for less than a day, he'd wanted to protect her, not hurt her.

"Kolya?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"Of course, darling."

He rested his forehead against hers, and she let her eyes fall shut. Their fingers were still linked, and she couldn't help but marvel at them. They were rough, obviously from his time in the army and multiple years at sea, but somehow still soft? Given how much he cared about his appearance, she wouldn't be surprised if he had some sort of special Fabrikator hand cream that made them feel this way.

"What are you thinking about?" It was a murmur, quiet enough that it didn't disturb their peaceful moment.

"You." He pulled his head away slightly, and she opened her eyes, worried that she'd gone too far. But then he had been flirting with her earlier, so surely she could do the same with him?

"Saints, the things you do to me," he breathed out, and she got butterflies in her stomach from how he sounded. Part of her wanted to kiss him, kiss every inch of him head to toe and let him do the same to her, but the other part knew that it hadn't been that long since she'd dredged up the memories of what had happened, and to do anything now might scare her and close her off again. She really didn't want that, desperate for this relationship to evolve into something more.

"We should get some rest, it's been a long day and tomorrow will be even longer," she managed, and he nodded, retracting his arms from around her. Y/N was disappointed at the loss of his warmth, but when they got under the covers and he pulled her closer, whispering "Is this okay?" into her ear, she decided she didn't want to be anywhere but in his arms.

"This is okay. Do you need to take the sedative?"

"Yeah, probably. Let me move my arm, hang on."

They spent a few moments shuffling about, since in his haste to have her close to him he'd trapped one of his arms under her body. He sat up slightly, and Y/N watched as he tipped the liquid down his throat, placing the vial back on the nightstand and lying back down. She was already mostly asleep, and apparently the sedative didn't take long to kick in, as a few seconds later she felt his breathing even out. The soft rise and fall of his chest lulled her further in to sleep, and she let it claim her.

~~~

The next morning, Y/N woke to the sunlight pouring in through the window, her head resting on something warm. Lifting her head slightly, she realised that she was lying on Nikolai's chest, the warmth of his body seeping through his thin shirt, one of her legs slung over his. His hand was holding her leg, bringing back the memories of the carriage ride, and an arm was wrapped around his waist. Now the warmth she felt was radiating from her face, blushing at the position they were in. Pushing herself up slightly, Y/N studied Nikolai.

He looked peaceful, blond locks in disarray from sleeping. Lifting the hand that had been resting on his chest, she traced the lines of his face, fingertips gentle as she did so. He had freckles, something she hadn't seen before, and she tried to count every one she found. His eyelids fluttered before opening, and Y/N held her breath. Blinking a few times before settling his eyes on her face that was only a few inches from his own, he smiled, whispering "Good morning, darling." His own hand reached up, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear, lingering there for a few moments.

"Morning, I take it you didn't... you know?"

"No, I didn't. At least I don't think so. I'm pretty sure someone would have put you in a different room if I had, to keep you safe," he replied. Nikolai hadn't taken his eyes off of her since waking up, and his hand was still by her face, thumb stroking her cheek, a soft smile still playing on his lips. Y/N couldn't help it, leaning in closer so that their noses brushed against each other like they did last night. He pushed himself up a little, breath fanning over her face. She closed the gap, gently pressing her lips to his, and his hand cupped her cheek, pulling her further into the kiss. The butterflies that had been building up over the last few weeks exploded, taking flight in her stomach. His lips were soft, melding perfectly to hers as if they were made for each other. They pulled away for breath, eyes lidded as they looked at each other before diving in again. Where the first kiss had been slow and gentle, this second one was deeper, Nikolai wrapping his free arm around Y/N's waist and bringing her closer as she levered herself further on top of his body, straddling his hips. She moaned into his mouth as he deepened the kiss, tilting his head and slipping his tongue in.

They were interrupted by a loud knock on the door, startling them both as they swivelled to look in the direction of the sound.

"Wake up, lovebirds, it's breakfast time. Make sure you're packed up and ready to go afterwards as well," Tamar said, footsteps fading away as she left to go wake up the next room. Y/N turned back to Nikolai, still lying on top of him, and blushed at his own flushed face, eyes dark. His voice was hoarse when he spoke.

"We should probably listen to her, she gets cranky and throws the axes when people don't."

She couldn't help the feeling that grew when she heard him, voice low and rough, and could only nod in response, starting to lift herself off of him.

They spent the next few minutes getting ready, swapping use of the bathroom like the night before to get dressed. Stood in front of the mirror, Y/N tried cooling herself down with cold water, using her abilities to make the water colder. There was a soft tapping on the door, and she opened it to see Nikolai, fully dressed, not a hair out of place.

"You alright?" she asked.

"Hm? Oh yeah, yes. I just..." he was holding his gloves, fiddling with them but not putting them on. He looked uncertain, nervous, and Y/N couldn't help but think how strange it was, given how confident he usually was. "That wasn't a one-time thing, right?" The question surprised her, and she quickly shook her head.

"No! Uh, I mean, if... I'd like it to happen again," she trailed off, not looking him in the eye. He stopped fussing with the gloves, one of his hands coming up to tilt her chin upwards as he leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her lips. She chased after him as he pulled away, already missing him, and he smiled, a small one that somehow she knew was reserved just for her.

"Alright then. Are you ready? We should probably head down soon."

"Yeah, I'm ready."

She slipped her arm through his, and he put his gloves on, covering up the black veins of his hands. Nikolai opened the door just as Tamar raised her hand to knock, her expression changing from angry to surprised.

"You took your time, we've been up for ages. Come on, I'm starving."

Breakfast was taken in the small food hall of the inn, and Y/N didn't leave Nikolai's side the whole time, keeping one hand in his. Zoya noticed, shooting a questioning look, but Y/N refused to answer her at this point in time, hoping the general would leave it for now and pester her later. Nikolai kept pressing small kisses to her temple or the hand that he was holding, making her blush, but she didn't hate the attention he was giving her.

By the time they had finished breakfast and packed up the carriage, Y/N was sure that everybody in the town had made note of the difference in how the married couple were acting, and as she said goodbye to her mother the woman leaned in and said "Make sure you're using protection, sweetheart. Unless you're trying for an heir already!" Y/N choked on air, quickly waving goodbye and promising to come back and visit soon. Getting into the carriage, she was still coughing slightly, and Nikolai looked up, concerned.

"Are you alright? Is something wrong? Do you need me to-"

"Nikolai! I'm okay, I just..." she paused, and his worry only seemed to increase. "My mother thinks we had sex."

"Oh. I mean... she's not far off, is she? Ow!" He clutched his arm where she had (lightly) punched him, and she couldn't help but giggle. Y/N moved next to him, and he automatically shifted so that she could rest her head on his shoulder.

This is nice, she thought as the carriage started moving. This is really nice. Waving goodbye to everyone gathered, she sunk further into Nikolai's body, letting him wrap an arm around her in a hug. The ride passed without incident, although when Tolya came to collect them to get them on the horses he had to tailor them a little to make it less obvious that the two had been making out most of the way there.

That night, Y/N and Nikolai shared the bed again, savouring the slight domesticity and kisses that came with it. They shared the bed the next night, and the one after that as well, sharing kisses and stories of their childhoods before falling asleep in each others' arms.

Chapter 7

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Hi, I'd like to ask your opinions on Oscar Isaacs casting as the MK system? I've seen mixed opinions

Did people not like Oscar playing the System?

So, being a long time fan of the comic and having zero online contact with any MK fandom before the show, being a MK fan was a pretty small wee little lonely world.

I only knew of Oscar Isaac from Star Wars when he played Poe (which I greatly enjoyed and thought he did a super fantastic job at btw).

When they announced the MK show, I was incredibly skeptical because well... I've seen what Marvel has done to the boys before.

I also am known to get greatly annoyed when big name actors become popular and suddenly get every single role regardless on if it fits them or not. Sometimes it's good to get a new face and unknown a chance. Sometimes you don't need to see the same large eyed big pouty lip white girl play every single thing under the sun because she's the new sex symbol. Sometimes Cumberbatch ISN'T the right man for the part just because he has a deep voice and can say a name in a scary way that no longer makes sense in the narrative because they've written all association of that person out of the canonical universe (Looking at you Star Trek).

But, I held my breath and reserved judgement until I saw what they did and what Oscar could do. I prepared for the worst and hoped for mediocrity.

Am I now an Oscar fan? Yes. He did an amazing job. He got the character or Marc and Steven DOWN. Not only that, but he helped develop ideas on how they should be played and he became protective of them. He did his research and he respected not only the material but the voices of people that the MK system represents.

I have a deep respect for actors that go out of their way to learn about any disability, mental or physical, and then become protective. Is someone asking their direction to go against this disability? They won't do it. That takes a wonderful amount of integrity.

It is safe to say that after the show, I have watched other things with Oscar Isaac in them and enjoyed them as well as his singing career! It ha also opened me up to other artists and movies and shows I would not have normally watched. Growth happens if you let it.

NOW. Am I still incredibly nervous about the future of Moon Knight? Very much so. Marvel has taken an....interesting... stance on how they release things and on the future of the cinematic universe.

Oscar has said that he wants to return to Marc and Steven, but only if he likes the story. And Marvel has voiced that it wants to return to Moon Knight but has 'big plans' for him.

Oscar is only human. And Marvel is a sickly sweet siren call that makes promises full of lies and riches only to dash your hopes against the rocks when you get too close.

I trust that he would continue to play the characters to the best of his ability and with full intent to honor them in his heart, but that will only get you so far when you have to follow a shit story or play with the big guys writing the checks. I also am incredibly nervous on what they'd do to Jake. My buddy and main squeeze Jake. Especially now.

I hold my judgement until I see more. I like being surprised and having my mind changed.

But honestly? If they never got back to Moon Knight and left it at that, I'd be okay with that too. Sad... Because I know what I WANT them to do... But skeptical that they'd do it and just leave themselves more room to fuck it up like a few other things they keep poking.

[oat-malk]

o7 hello new followers, you're all a pleasant surprise because i didn't expect that wee introductory post of mine to make it to anyone's dash. how are you doing today? what did you have for dinner? i'm going for some heavily seasoned instant noodles, because it's one of those nights where i just want to put my feet up and zone out in front of a tv show. speaking of which, i need some tv show recommendations, as a result of me officially limiting how frequently i am allowed to rewatch fullmetal alchemist brotherhood. i'm actually pretty excited to see what you recommend to me.

hoping everyone's having a great evening. tipping my non-existent cowboy hat.

[suekreandtheidiots]

Wee introduction post!

SO. Let's go.

I'm starting this blog with a little overview of the OCs who are most present in my head these days. I (more or less) recently drew a shiny line up that I still like, after all, so why not use it?

I tried to get their heights somewhat right, give or take a few inches... I'll put their heights into the descriptions, too, though, for anyone (like me) who cares about these details. :)

Avery Constance St. James (*April 1st 1995 in New York City, USA; 5'2 ft / 1,57 m): a small but fierce pharmacist who lost her heart to an irresistably lively Irishman in 2022 (who refused to give it back), and who now juggles being a loving mama and thriving in her usual chaos.

Daryl Louis McKenna (*February 6th 1993 in Galway, Ireland; 5'9 ft / 1,75 m): rockstar scientist (biochemistry) and former drug abusing idiot who recently got engaged to Avery - a special lady he just happened to find when he wasn't looking, and who unexpectedly found his greatest joy in fatherhood.

Dexter Linus St. James (*August 11th 2023, in New York City, USA): a tiny Irish-American hybrid - the son of Daryl and Avery. Named after Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory and Linus Pauling.

Orla Deirdre O'Connell (*October 28th 1992 in Galway, Ireland; 5'9 ft / 1,75 m): an eccentric tattoo artist who appreciates the most beautiful things in life and who believes in love and classic romance like no other. Grew up with three brothers - Malachy (*1980-2006), Kieran (*1985) and her twin Declan, and thus handles life like a lady, but never without the appropriate dash of assertiveness.

Michael Theodore "Mick" O'Loughlin (*December 22nd 1992 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 6'5 ft / 1,96 m): a tall and elvenlike fella who stems from an ancient bloodline of highly fascinating individuals and who may have a supernatural streak to him. Motor mechanic in everyday life and a curious and whimsical guy overall, with soulful green eyes that effortlessly see behind the things others would not even dare to question.

Alistair Lachlan "Ali/Al" Abbott (*May 28th 1993 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 6'4 ft / 1,93 m): an eccentric weirdo, very charming and always a little clueless, with a heart of gold. A former rising football star who had to give up that particular dream to an unfortunate injury, and a surprise teenage dad who loves his friends and longs to meet the love of his life; who waits tables in a restaurant by day and woos ladies - who are willing to pay for his services - by night.

Lancelot Malcolm "Lance" Abbott (*July 27th 1988 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 5'4 ft / 1,63 m): a true force of nature, a capable internist, strong-willed and assertive (some would say stubborn) confident and outspoken, sometimes on the brink of being plain rude. An intelligent and complex person who may be a pain in the arse at times, but who knows what is right and important in life... such as suppressing some long lasting issues, ah, haha, oh well.

Maisie Rose Boyd (*June 11th 2011 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 5'0 ft / 1,52 m): the surprise love child of teenage parents Ali Abbott and Nessa Boyd, who is growing into a sweet and caring young lady these days.

Vanessa Christine "Nessa/Ness" Boyd (*January 14th 1993 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 5'2 ft / 1,57 m): a young and smart psychology graduate who is eager to finally start her career that she had to postpone due to becoming a mother at only eighteen. Gentle and kind, but also very straightforward, never taking crap from anyone and showing bluntness in just the right moments.

Caroline Miriam "Carrie" Anderson (*August 2nd 1987 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 5'4 ft / 1,63 m): a somewhat restless soul, always looking for something while never quite knowing what that something is. One hell of a doctor. Caring, not making any differences between people,and eager to look behind a facade... and entertaining the thought of running her own practice soon!

Dallas Ariston Gray (*October 22nd 1987 in Glasgow, Scotland; 6'4 ft / 1,93 m): a half-Greek, hunkalicious metal lord with a voice from both heaven and hell, a primary school teacher, musician and not quite your average nice guy from next door - the unhingedness may be subtle, but it's so, so there.

Fiona Annabel "Fi" Christie (*March 4th 1994 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 6'0 ft / 1,82 m): a truly delightful creature with many talents, drawing people in with her... everything. A hairdresser and make up artist, a dancer (classic ballet, jazz, as well as adult entertainment) and a gentle soul. Her optimism may make her look naive at times, but

Jean Melissa "Melissa" Carter (*June 1st 1985 in Calgary, Canada; 6'3 ft / 1,90 m): a creative director at a local ad agency... who clicks on suspicious links in spam mails and who forgets to check whether she has enough gas before she drives distances… and strands in the middle of nowhere. May seem scatterbrained but is incredibly loveable and the apple of the eye of her wife, Donna.

Donna Yvaine Christie (*January 3rd 1985 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 5'9 ft / 1,74 m): older and slightly (read as: not so slightly) overbearing sister of Fiona. Has her heart at the right spot but is also used to success and getting what she wants, which makes her a little insensitive and even tactless at times; still often fails to understand that "not doing things her way" isn’t necessarily the same as "doing things the wrong way".

Graeme "Sully" Sullivan (*September 7th 1986 in Perth, Scotland; 5'11 ft /1,80 m): an incredibly creative person all around who has known his goal pretty early in life - making the world a brighter, more colourful place! Owner of a tattoo studio in town - "The Den Of Tallulah Banks" - which isn’t just a tattoo studio, but also a place where creatives can get together and local artists from town can exhibit their works without paying annoying fees.

Hallie Henderson (*April 2nd 1988 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 5'7 ft / 1,70 m): a music journalist, writing for the popular UK/Ireland based magazine "Grot Spot". Interested in pretty much anything, believes in people. Very gentle and caring... and just a little bit weird. Loves life but doesn't close her eyes to the crappy aspects of it. A realistic optimist who is far from naive but maybe a bit too forgiving sometimes.

Jett Jones (*January 15th 1984, in Newcastle Upon Tyne, England; 6'2 ft / 1,87 m): Hallie's friend and fellow Grot Spot writer. A Geordie beauty who never met her real parents but couldn't care less, as the lovely Joneses raised her well. Outspoken and blunt, appears to be afraid of nothing. Never refills the office coffee pot and would most likely survive a zombie apocalypse. Treasures her heart and shares her real name with hardly anybody.

---

And, as a bonus...

1984

Craig Diarmid Abbott (*October 8th 1962 in Liverpool, England | † June 2006 in Aberdeen, Scotland; 6'4 ft / 1,92 m)

Sofia Elena Jacinta Abbott, nee Thomson (*February 11th 1956 in Mexico City, Mexico; 5'8 ft / 1,73 m)

... parents of Lance and Ali, who have their own story back in the eighties!

***

[theriverspath]

Ineffable May 2024, Day 16: 1827

Rating: Mature. CONTENT WARNINGS:  Interrupted SA of a show character involving an unwanted kiss, proof of previous physical assault on an original character, death of the assailant.

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Did you read the content warnings? Please do so, and keep yourself safe if necessary. Story below the cut.

“We can get a room in a proper boarding house, not like the last one.” - Elspeth, to Wee Morag. Good Omens, S2E3

Elspeth drug herself up the dark, narrow, rickety stairs that led from the boarding house’s ground floor to the one that housed the room she shared with Morag. Her hands hurt, her back hurt, even her eyes ached. The pair had been cooped up in their room all day, stitching together pieces of white linen into men’s shirts. Between the two of them, the work barely paid enough for the room, and sometimes not even enough for that. Food money was a luxury, and one they didn’t have as often as they should.

But as the sun went down, Morag’s stomach let out a grumble so loud that Elspeth had heard it from her chair. And even though the obviously hungry young woman had protested, Elspeth insisted on venturing out to see if she could find a street vendor with something cheap.*

With the small meal safely stowed away in one of the large pockets hidden in her skirts, she’d made her way back home. Halfway up the stairs, Elspeth realized she was hearing voices. A man and a woman, and the woman didn’t sound happy. Wait - was that Morag? What was she doing out on the landing? Body aches forgotten, Elspeth picked up her pace and slid her hand into the pocket that didn’t carry their meager supper. It found her cosh: a short stick covered in leather. The bulb on one end contained a stone, and the weight of it felt familiar and comforting in her grip. She kept it hidden in the pocket as she crested the stairs.

There was Morag, her back against the wall next to their door. A shirtless man stood directly in front of her, one of his elbows propped against the wall next to her head. Elspeth recognized him as one of Cora’s regulars. The walls of this building were thin and hollow, and it wasn’t long after they moved in that Morag and Elspeth deduced what the woman next door did to earn a living. Other than the occasional rhythmic noise, Cora had turned out to be an easy enough neighbor. And, they hadn’t had any trouble out of the men. Until tonight, that is.

As Elspeth approached, he lifted the other hand and tucked a stray strand of Morag’s hair behind her ear. In the glow of the candle nub that Morag clutched, Elspeth saw her flinch at the touch.

“Making a new friend?” Both Morag and the man jumped at the sound of Elspeth’s voice. His head bobbed as it whipped around to face her. His surprise turned to a sneer of delight.

“Well, 'allo. Come to join the fun? I was just invitin’ the lass here into yon chamber for a wee tipple. For sure you’d be welcome, too.” The whiskey on his breath nearly knocked Elspeth over. His nod towards Cora’s open door told her exactly what type of fun he had in mind.

“And I was thanking him for the thoughtful offer, but I’m just waiting for you to return before retiring for the night. Because I’m having one of my headaches.” Morag’s voice was even, patient, as if she were explaining something to a confused child. But, Elspeth saw the panic in her eyes and knew the excuse was a lie. Her words brought the man's attention back to her.

“Oh, I ken a way to rid ye of pain.” Before either Morag or Elspeth had time to process what he meant, his mouth was on Morag’s. Elspeth heard the dull thunk as the force of it knocked the woman’s head back against the wall. There was a squeal of frightened surprise, and then the hiss of fire on flesh. Morag had dashed the candle against the man’s face, plunging the stairwell into near darkness.

Elspeth was already lunging at him, her hand out of her pocket and brandishing her home-made weapon, when he let out an enraged roar. There was another cry from Morag, and the dim light from Cora’s room silhouetted the man dragging her by her hair towards it. Elspeth struck, hitting the man above an ear. He instantly crumpled, landing with a thump half inside the doorway. Elspeth gave him no thought and turned to Morag, looking for any sign of injury.

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Morag shook her head, her eyes glued to the still form at their feet. There was a moan from further inside the room. An oil lamp illuminated enough of the chamber to show Cora sprawled across her bed, clothed in her underthings. She began to move slowly, propping herself up into a sitting position. As her loose hair fell away from her face, Elspeth could see a darkening bruise already spreading across her lower jaw.

“I think you’ve killed him.” Morag’s words were a whisper.

“Good.” Cora’s reply was clear. “Save me the trouble of calling in a favor.” The woman rose, a little unsteady on her feet, and walked the few steps to the door. She nudged the man with her foot. When he didn’t respond, she kicked him. Hard. Satisfied, she turned and walked back toward the bed. It made a familiar-sounding squeak as she sat down. Her words were a little less steady when she spoke again.

“You’d better bring him all the way in before someone sees him. It’s a miracle half the house didn’t come running at that yell.” Elspeth managed to drag the body onto what little floor space the room offered. Morag shut the door behind them.

“You’ll hang for this, Elspeth. What are we going to do?” Morag was hugging her shawl around her shoulders. She’d made no move to fix the mess the man had made of her hair. Elspeth’s knees began to shake as she stepped over to Morag’s side. She fished the sausage roll she’d bought what felt like years ago out of her pocket and tore it in half. She handed half to Morag, who seemed to take a bite on automatic. When she thought about doing the same, her stomach rolled. Instead, she tossed her half to Cora. The other woman nodded her thanks.

“We’re going to make a little money off him, is what. Then find another place to stay before his pals come looking for him.” Elspeth scrunched her eyebrows in confusion at Cora’s words.

“How are we going to make money off a corpse?”

“I’ve got a fella who knows one of those doctors that buys bodies to cut up. He don’t ask too many questions about where they come from, neither. If we let him know about this one, he’ll give us a cut of the take.”

“No, we can’t. It’s not right. There’s got to be another way. Does he have family to bury him?” Morag shook her head, looking increasingly uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed.

“I’m not askin’. I’m tellin’ you what I’m going to do. If you don’t like it, you can leave. But if you help, you’ll at least get some carryin’ money to take with you. Because trust me, you don’t want to be here if that family of his you’re so concerned about gets wind you had anything to do with him disappearin’.”

“Where is he? I’ll go fetch him.” Elspeth spoke up before Morag had another chance to insist against the plan.

“He’s at the White Hart, most likely.” Cora filled Elspeth in on who he was, how to recognize him, and what to say when she found him. A quick squeeze of an arm around Morag, and Elspeth was ready to go. As she put her hand on the doorknob, though, Cora stopped her.

“Wait. Wear his clothes. If you swan in lookin’ like a lass by your lonesome, you’ll attract too much attention. But, I’d rekkin you could pass for a lad in his older brother’s things.” Elspeth had no desire to wear the clothes of a dead man, especially not this man. But, she saw the sense in it. A minute later, she was slipping the cosh into the jacket pocket and piling her hair into the hat. After that, she was out into the night.

------

It turned out that even helping to disguise and haul a dead body to the good doctor’s surgery didn’t earn much of “the take.” Not enough for a new room, anyway. But she’d learned a lot in those hours, and fully intended to make the next take entirely hers. 

......

*She’d found a scrawny man with a tray full of what could possibly called sausages in things that were perhaps buns. She didn’t ask what they were made of and was able to bargain the price down a bit, though the man protested that even at full price he was “cuttin’ his own throat.”

prompt list

[kentuckycaverats]

being emo about what a difference del's made in my life, word vomit below the cut so i don't clog the dash.

i've talked about this a wee bit on here, but after my first couple of years getting into ttrpgs i realized that i kept accidentally putting pieces of my soul into my pcs and having surprise Realizations over the course of the game(s), so i decided to start doing it on purpose

i built del very intentionally to have like, all of my childhood-adolescent trauma. the details are all greatly exaggerated but are rooted in the same feelings: not being allowed to have boundaries, not being allowed to make my own choices, being denied autonomy, being openly gay and trans in a conservative christian town, intimate partner abuse, suicidality. the fujinamis are (very loosely) based on my own parents and the tsugas are the parents i wish i'd had. sabina is not-so-loosely based on my abusive ex

but del is unlike me in every other way. she can stand up for herself, she can set and enforce boundaries, she's strong-willed and physically capable, afraid of nothing, and genuinely can't be fucked to care what anyone thinks of her. traits that i don't have but desperately wish that i did. i figured that if i could develop and play a character who emulates those things, then hey, look, those exist in me too, because del can't exist without me. my therapist has been a huge proponent of this and has helped me to utilize del as a therapeutic tool, and boyyyy has it worked. with the combination of EMDR + delphine, i've made crazy progress just in this last year

last night my partner and i were talking to his best friend and ended up on the topic of first relationships, and she wanted to know about my abusive ex. and like. she's haunted me for over a decade. it used to be that i couldn't think or talk about what she did to me without violently dissociating and triggering nightmares about her. but it doesn't hurt me to talk about anymore? she sucks ass and she's the worst person i ever met in my life, but i'm not afraid of her anymore. and i credit like 50% of that to therapy/EMDR and the other half to del game

because del has gotten to face and defeat sabina twice: first in backstory, in which del diablerized her and ended up with sabina's consciousness kicking around in her head, then again with tara and the coterie by her side as she killed her for good. when we were going into that session my therapist had a hunch that being rid of sabina in-game would help me get past the last big block from my own abuser, and she was right. i didn't notice it right away, but even when she does show up in my dreams (and she did last night, like she usually does when i talk about her) they aren't nightmares anymore. she's there and i'm annoyed mostly, but not afraid. i can tell her no and tell her to fuck off and instead of the big looming figure she used to be in my brain she's just a pathetic asshole who can't reach me anymore

my therapist says all the time that the brain processes fiction and reality the same way, emotionally-speaking, and we joke about ttrpg as group therapy but it really has been. and so much of that credit goes to our st who's (1) brilliant (2) so cognizant of telling trauma stories in a safe and respectful way and (3) has a window into my soul i guess?? he knows i'm plural but the del/aelsidhe arc was a complete surprise to me, and oddly enough comes like, scary close to paralleling the relationship between myself (del as proxy) and the host before me (aelsidhe as proxy) who i was supposed to protect from our ex. i couldn't have come up with a more fitting arc for del if i'd tried

anyway. tl;dr - healing is stored in the fighty little cockroach lesbian and she will always be so so special to me

[astrxlfinale]

Wanted to give this a spin when I saw it on the dash! Less imagery though, and more me writing out the thoughts. So let's dive into it!

Will get a wee bit lengthy. So under a read more it goes.

1.

A character that got me into Star Rail was genuinely the Trailblazer themselves. I think anyone who's come to know me is not surprised AT ALL with this once interacting with me. There's a shared energy I love making full use of, reveling in their share of chaos, their certainties and their comical doubts. Just the way they wholly dive into the experience is a quality I can relate in enjoying myself.

Not to mention I'm just a fan of their design in general. Even if it looks like they're ~somewhat~ cosplaying the Express itself, all of the golds and blacks really compliment their set up.

2.

In this game it feels like a main is harder to come by, since I'd primarily need me a gang to get things knocked out. Though! If there's a character I've pinned a lot of commitment into, it'd be Firefly! Holding her at E1S1 and been spending the whole of 2.3 burning up TB power at her domain. I've really come to enjoy the Oppressive playstyle of just having enemies not do jack shit. Cutting through defenses, playing around with the high speed to boot.

It's playstyle that's suffocating on opposition and that's how I want it. After getting stunned, DoTted, blown up, one shot wiped. Finally I can have an effective means to supply that same hell onto my enemies. So working to the point of cracking open a high pivotal damage point is fun to me, it rings familiar to RPGs like Octopath Traveler that also had it's own break mechanics.

3.

As for a character I come to love? I think I might've answered that accidentally on number one. LOL. I'm a full on Trailblazer fan here! Characters like them feel a little hard to come by in this era where Nonchalance is revered and hailed supreme. So characters that can showcase passion? I'm absolutely all for.

4.

Dr.Ratio. While I love the pointed passion, dealing with someone like that would genuinely be agonizing for me to deal with. It'd just be the condescending note that would honestly, make me want to tell him to fuck off. Then again I'd have no doubt that arrangement would be just fine with the both of us.

5.

I really want to get Silver Wolf onto my teams! Though, I've heard that not having that starter Light cone would make the curve of getting her improved more of a genuine hell. I'd be willing to work on that struggle, especially if it means I can find my 'cheat code' around weakness types. Playing the game made me learn just how much more tanky enemies are if they don't have the specified weaknesses on them.

Not just in breaking (which adds more vulnerability.) I'm literally doing 20% less damage, and I'm nowhere close to the point of nuts artifacts where brute forcing becomes a viable option.

6.

I believe Gallagher has the closest example to my eye color. (Mines is brown.)

7.

Dan Heng! (I have black hair.)

8.

Honestly? I don't think any of these characters share a solid match of personality for me. Similarities for running around with chaotic thoughts with the TB can be shared, but as it stands I'm too laidback. I do share Qinque's MO for wanting to make work related lifestyles as amicable and amendable as possible. Just enough, never above and beyond, especially when you're aware of the field you're in.

9.

For the time being right now. I'm saving for a Silver Wolf rerun, though, I will admittedly try my luck on Feixiao. That depends on if their kit appeases me however, gotta see how flexible it is with the balance of characters I have. (I know I'ma need another Harmony at this point. Robin may on the rerun radar as well depending on how Feixiao works.)

10.

Firefly! From the shade of dual hair colors, the sunset eyes to the way that energized spirit green can shine within them. There's a lot of her features that brings plenty of appeal to the table. I love how her outfit works like the prismatic wings of either an insect or a fairy, also giving off that appeal similar to stained glass despite being cloth. A lot of it just mesh to be a joy to the eyes and in kind, how it can work with either shades of fire she utilizes.

Not to mention the SAM unit itself! Human sized Mecha (or close to it) can easily win some appeal points for me. The way it operates as armor, and plays upon the concept of ignition for fierce strikes and high momentum just feels into the value of momentum, which is another big plus for me. There's also that dichotomy between the form, which adds a charm point when you see those respective 'modes' shine through to what she's externally showing.

11.

Destruction!

Characters who thrive in the fight, risking damage and turning that struggle into strength through various means will always speak to the fiery side of my soul. The gameplay style where you're balancing that vitality as much as your enemies are working to deplete is interesting to me. I love that measure of control, and how the enemy has to deal with me on multiple fronts as much as I have to deal with them.

Part of me wishes they'd come to do a mini rework on the Destruction TB for this reason. With their healing factor being only outside of battle, and how there isn't much usage for sacrificing high vitality for empowerment, it leaves a lot to be desired when you catch an eye on more modern units.

12.

Imaginary! Primarily for the creation appeal that many of the characters utilize with it. It's an Element that really highlights the creativity of a character, and gets them to really show off what they can literally bring to reality when given the chance. I for one, will always come to recognize the appeal they bring to the table with that.