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hookaroo · 1 year

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Laden of the Torn (6 of 25)

AO3 link Catch up on tumblr: One Two Three Four Five Tagging @priscilla9993 @cocohook38 <3

***

Time existed with no coherence. Every second was pain, every bump and rattle a small victory for Death as it tore another chunk off of his soul. His name and identity: agony. Where he came from and where he was going: suffering. His every breath, thought, and movement: anguish. Every one of his senses could only report one thing: pain.

Pain.

***

Pain… and now something else. Fear? No, not quite… well, yes, fear, but also… hostility. The one part of him not occupied with torment was trying to warn him. The danger might be more urgent even than the wretchedness slowly inching him toward oblivion.

“Why I’d waste my hopes on an old codger like you…”

Killian cringed away from the grating voice, much too loud in his ears. He could not yet make full sense of the words, but the spirit in which they were hurled at him was abundantly clear.

“Hold still, you bloody fool!”

Drunkenly, Killian flung a clumsy arm at the being crouched nearby, but missed by a mile. The effort cost him. He felt something tear, and immediately, his guts revolted and he was choking on bile.

He couldn’t tell if the virulent cursing was real, or all in his mind.

When his spasms had ceased, and he lay quivering with agony, completely spent, a bit more of his current predicament trickled back into his awareness.

It had gotten dark. He still lay in the wagon bed, curled up in a ball, feeling hot and cold all at the same time. Blackbeard was tugging at his shirt. Killian hissed in sudden panic and surged to an elbow, and the strangled shout torn from his throat was like none he remembered ever making before.

Much too calm, Blackbeard sat back and folded his arms. “I have no qualms against tying you up, Hook.”

“Then why haven’t you?” growled Killian, more as a show of defiance than lucid participation in the conversation. His voice was gravelly, his throat raw. He spat in a fruitless attempt to rid himself of the horrific taste in his mouth.

“You’ve been delightfully quiet thus far,” Blackbeard replied. “I had assumed you’d decided to cooperate.”

The mounting pressure between Killian’s ears grew to be too much, and he dropped back into his pathetic, trembling former position. “You may as well finish me off.” He grimaced through a wave of anguish. “Doubt I’ll last the night.”

“You will if I have anything to say about it.” Roughly, Blackbeard grabbed Killian’s sleeve and resumed the chore of stripping him. Killian screwed his eyes shut, panting in sheer panic, until he worked out a possible reason for the action. Heedless of his prisoner’s discomfort, Blackbeard continued,

“I intend to get my money’s worth out of you.”

“Why… are you doing… this?” Killian gasped, teeth chattering painfully. Blackbeard ignored the question as he used one of his numerous daggers to cut away the bloodstained bandage covering Killian’s shoulder. Sneering, he then asked a question of his own.

“Is it true, what Ahab was spewing? About a witch in a tower, and your little waif stuck there alone?”

Killian clenched his jaw irritably. This was the very last person on earth to whom he wanted to explain himself, even if he had possessed the energy to do so.

“It’s only idle curiosity. The information is worth less than nothing to me.”

Without any warning, Blackbeard dabbed at an oozing gash on Killian’s lower back, and he gritted his teeth through the burn.

“What did that bilge rat say about her?” Killian snarled, quailing at the thought of his and Alice’s woes being spread far and wide… or worse, the knowledge of her vulnerability reaching the wrong ears.

“From what I could gather, she’s the spawn of some deranged witch hell-bent on tormenting you.” Blackbeard smirked, then moved on to clean and dress the larger wound on Killian’s shoulder blade. “The harpy sounds like my kind of woman, actually. What exactly did you do to her, Hook? Or is it all simply revenge for impregnating her against her will?”

“Sod off, mate; that woman always gets exactly what she wants. As you bloody well know already, if you’re working for her.”

“Working for her?” scoffed Blackbeard. “Does it look like I have a death wish?”

Killian hid a wince. “This whole thing has been too well-coordinated to be coincidence. What does Gothel want this time?”

“Believe what you will; I’m no fool. But that prat of a whaler may have hinted at some sort of arrangement, with the end goal of locking you away, out of meddling range. Pity you won’t ever have the chance to press him for details.”

A dizzying spike in pain left Killian unable to respond for some time. When he’d regained his breath, he asked in a tight growl,

“What’s your end goal, then?”

Blackbeard’s only response was an insincere grin and a patronizing pat on a deeply bruised cheek. He set aside the bandages, tossed a thin blanket at his captive, then stood and vaulted the sideboard, landing heavily in the dirt beside the wagon. Mental acuity fading fast, Killian could not demand further answers. Carefully, he reached for the blanket and began untangling it in an attempt to at least cover his bare torso. Pain and fatigue prevented him from fully spreading the material over his body, but it was enough to provide at least mental comfort, and despite everything, he had soon slipped into an uneasy slumber.

***

Killian was half-aware that the wagon had once again rolled to a stop, but he could not drag himself near enough to wakefulness in order to assess anything. Was it evening again already? The cacophony in his ears seemed to hint otherwise, but that could well have been the ravings of head injury, or even just simple half-dreams manifesting as sensation. He tried to ignore his aches and return to sleep. He needed to take advantage of the times when he was not constantly being jolted by the rough road.

In his dream, someone took him by the wrist, and he could not deduce their intent. More often than not, this signified danger, being bound or disarmed or threatened in some way. But a sluggish brain just could not get that message across to the muscles controlling his arm, and he lay inert, praying that it was the mere hallucination he’d believed it to be. Even when a burning slash bisected his inner elbow, the stubborn fog remained, and his only recourse was a weak whine of protest before he was swallowed up again by heavy exhaustion.

But then a drizzle of rum trickled down his throat, and the resultant choking was definitely real, and enough to stave off unconsciousness for the moment. Gasping, Killian made a feeble attempt to sit up, or at least flop over onto his side so he could clear his blazing lungs, but it hurt too much and he lacked the coordination. Another stream of rum forced its way into his mouth, and this time, he managed to swallow it before he inhaled it, but it was a close thing. Opening heavy eyelids, Killian blinked at the double image hovering above him. An upside-down face, associated with malice; black and red in stark lines that only added to the hazy visions of blood and death clouding his thoughts. Killian coughed.

Blackbeard flung his flask aside, grinning jauntily down at his captive. “Now don’t vomit it all back up, Hook. That was the last of the good rum. All that’s left is the cheap swill I nicked off of Ahab’s bosun.”

Groaning, Killian groped through fragmented memories to try and make sense of his surroundings as sharp cramping in his guts foretold the likely result of Blackbeard’s intervention. For some unfathomable reason, the blaggard had Killian propped up against his knees, his midsection providing a surprisingly soft resting place for his throbbing head. It appeared to be late afternoon, and they’d pulled off the main road to take shelter in a grove of maple trees as warm rain turned the dirt to mud and filled the plentiful potholes along the way. The canopy above provided adequate cover, though occasionally a heavy droplet broke through to splash one of the men. Killian glanced carefully down at the new line of pain across his arm, which Blackbeard still held in a firm grip.

“What the blazes are you doing?” croaked Killian when he spotted the sluggish stream of blood dripping from a cut across the crook of his elbow. Blackbeard’s gaudy dagger lay just out of reach.

“What’s it look like? I’m balancing your humours and whatnot.” Blackbeard waved his gloved hand vaguely. “Something must be seriously off-kilter to keep you in this state for days on end.”

Annoyed, Killian glowered up at his rival. “What is this, the bloody Dark Ages?”

A hint of confusion crossed Blackbeard’s face before the bluster returned. “I wouldn’t expect a simple man like you to understand. You probably still believe all ills come as curses from the gods or some such nonsense.”

Killian held his breath as he struggled to free his left arm from the worn blanket entangling him, hoping to quickly stop the bleeding before it weakened him even further. But then Blackbeard placed a warning hand on his shoulder. Killian scowled as he sought patience.

“I was under the impression you wanted me alive,” he seethed. His vertigo was intensifying, and the churning in his gut portended not-so-pleasant things to come.

“Temporarily.”

“Then perhaps you should allow me to disabuse you of your antiquated notions, mate. No one, apart from the occasional charlatan, has practiced therapeutic bloodletting for several decades, at least. So kindly bugger off and leave well enough alone.”

Blackbeard raised an eyebrow, looking as if he did not quite believe Killian’s claims. He certainly was not the type to admit to being wrong, especially to an enemy. After a brief pause, he snorted dismissively.

“I would be interested to learn where you came by this expertise, locked up in that tower of yours.” He backed off, though, allowing Killian to reach across and attempt to staunch the cut with the rough wool of the blanket. “But, on your own head be it.”

He stood abruptly, jostling Killian’s sore head and nearly brushing against the precariously clotted wound hidden in his scalp. Hissing, Killian rolled onto his side to avoid any other near-misses. As he climbed over the side of the damp wagon, Blackbeard asked,

“Any other fantastical advancements in human knowledge I’m not privy to? Magical healing, perhaps, or instantaneous travel? Alchemy?”

Killian knew he was being flippant but couldn’t help grumbling,

“Well, if you’d bother to read a book or have a real conversation once in a while, instead of simply demanding things from everyone all the time, you may learn something on occasion.”

The other pirate pretended not to have heard. Squelching over to the tree trunk to relieve himself, he called out,

“Get that bleeding under control and get some rest. As soon as this storm passes, we’re moving on.”

Killian sighed heavily, already half-asleep. In a past life, he may have taken some satisfaction in bringing Blackbeard down a peg, but he couldn’t usually be bothered to care these days. Except… this time, Blackbeard’s ignorance might well have endangered his life.

Git.

***

Predictably, Killian lost the rum even before the rain had stopped, and he lay for several moments in agony as his stomach convulsed again and again. He could just hear the irritated mutterings from the man huddled in the driver’s seat, but Blackbeard never made a move to come back and clean the mess, or even check on Killian’s condition. Trembling miserably, Killian struggled onto his other side where the smell was less strong. His whole body felt as if it had tripled in weight and the simple effort of rolling over left him utterly drained. Panting, he groped for the skin of water Blackbeard had contemptuously pointed out for him, but it took ages to find for the amount of times he had to stop and take a break as his head pounded and the trees waltzed around the wagon.

More retching. Less productive. Gods, he felt like death.

At some point, the rain stopped and they started moving again, but he was at maximum misery already and hardly noticed the change.

Deep into the night they traveled. Time broken up only by alternating flashes of blazing heat, wracking chills, and ever-present, bone-deep pain. In his worst moments, Killian forgot what he was even trying to survive for. Let the sickness take him, he would think. He’d lived the equivalent of three lifetimes, not much to show for it, Dark One still living and Pan the unbridled mad-king of Neverland. Then the tower would sprout from the dream soil, piercing his heart every time with the guilt of who remained caged within. Damn your cowardice, Killian Jones; you are not finished yet. Fight the wretchedness, foil Blackbeard, and perhaps your atonement can begin.

Morning.

The wagon still, the horses and their driver at rest. Aching, Killian rolled over and tried to settle back into sleep, but not long afterward, Blackbeard stirred and then got up, groaning loudly. Killian slitted an eye open and watched him stomp over to the wagon. Looking somewhat bedraggled after a night on the muddy forest floor, Blackbeard glared down at his captive.

“Still got a heartbeat, Hook?”

Killian shut his eyes again. He did not have the energy for a conversation, nor would he have been particularly interested even on a good day. Rather than force the issue, Blackbeard began the process of caring for the horses and hitching them up to the harness, while Killian tried to ignore his discomfort and get some more rest. All too soon, though, the other pirate was back, hauling himself up beside his prisoner. If he noticed the sorry state of the straw bed, he did not mention it, focusing instead on Killian himself.

“You look even more like fish guts than before. I do hope you aren’t trying to die on me.”

Eyes closed, Killian muttered,

“I didn’t realize you cared.”

Blackbeard retrieved Gloria’s sack. “Only insofar as I make sure my purpose is met. After that, you are welcome to join the rest of your generation in the Underworld.”

Killian still could not imagine what Blackbeard possibly wanted from him, but he lacked the strength to ask. On the one hand, it may be useful to have an idea of what lay in store, if only to allow him to seek an opportunity to free himself. On the other hand, Killian was not sure he wanted to know. It couldn’t be anything good, and anticipating slavery or torture or gods-knew-what on the other end of this journey would not motivate him to survive.

He would allow himself one more day of ignorance, he decided, as Blackbeard haphazardly cared for his wounds. Based on the relative calm of the last handful of hours, he was cautiously hopeful that the worst of his illness was over and he could at last begin to recover. With another day’s rest behind him, and Gloria’s remedy to clear away the fog, perhaps he would finally be strong enough to face whatever trials lay ahead… and begin to plan his escape.

#ouat fanfiction #laden of the torn #wish hook #ouat blackbeard #pain #vomiting #wound care #misery #confusion #fever #therapeutic and ill-advised bloodletting #knightrook angst #painful road #weakness

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mikaharuka · 2 years

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Find the Word Tag - Part 2 of 2

So, a funny little thing happened, and I got tagged for this game by both @sliebman10 and @mrsmungus at almost the same exact time... but not with the same words, so we're going to do this twice!

Also, I'll pass on 10 words this time, and y'all can choose a subset of 5 words (since that is the game standard). I'll include that list in both posts, so I'm not going to double-tag anyone. So... onto Part 2!

Here's Part 1, for the curious - Link

Words for me: wind, count, rise/rose, forward, later Words for you: sky, green, plate, ice, fly, mercy, wave, deny, tall, cage

Tagging (no pressure, of course): @tsunderewatermelon, @udaberriwrites, @oceangirl24, @axolotlsupremacyowo, @kayedium-writes, @lena-hills, @bleepbloopbotz, and as always, am leaving an open tag for anyone who is interested :)

---------- (all excerpts are from Apricity or Prithvi, Chapter 1 of Mahabhuta) ----------

Wind - only four instances total

[Azure Mystique, Ch 11]

Jolted out of his daze by the loud crash of a branch, Beau massaged his contacts into place, then opened his eyes, letting them adjust to the limited azure light filtering through the mostly dark surroundings. Ancient pines towered over him, wind whistled through dried leaves on the forest floor, the hollow bark of fallen branches, and the eerie trees hidden within the deep fog. Yet despite the silent forest and bare earth, the forest was far from dead. Thrumming with life, its air was ripe with the scent of petrichor as a new surge of energy coursed through his body. With the dusk hour underway and night rapidly approaching, Beau needed to return home. Looking around at his surroundings, he quickly recognized the trees.

----------

Count - shockingly, not present! So I went with 'number' instead.

[Sangria Totality, Apricity Ch 13]

“You know how a VN flowchart works, right? You start at the top of the chart, where there's just the one timeline. As you progress through the novel, you make various decisions and the timeline splits off based on the choice you made, and that repeats itself until the end of the game.” “Yeah… because the timeline splits several times, there are multiple endings,” Beau said. “Alice basically sits at the top of the flowchart and can see those potential futures at the bottom, even if she doesn’t know what the exact decisions and branching points are.” “That’s ridiculous! A VN only has one player and a few decision points, but real life has a ton of players and choices! The number of endings… of potential, parallel futures is practically infinite! She can’t possibly see all of them!” Mike exclaimed incredulously. “You’re right. She can’t. The more likely a potential future is to play out, the clearer the vision is. The less likely it is to happen, the hazier it becomes. And if the likelihood goes low enough, she loses the ability to perceive that future at all,” Mina explained. “So she can only perceive futures that meet some minimum probability threshold…” Mike thought aloud.

----------

Rose - This only showed up in two places as a word and not as the name that Mike uses for Rosalie, so... yeah.

[Midnight Freefall, Apricity Ch 14]

“You found out about the ambush as it happened.” “How would that be possible? I was not there myself.” Wait, there was a safer way to navigate this conversation. “Uh… Doc- Carlisle. By any chance, do you have some kind of mark on your person?” “What sort of mark?” Oh yeah, there were also those black marks from earl- huh? Was it just him or did those marks look different somehow? “A multi-color, geometric mark on your skin. In shades of blue, green, and indigo.” The vampire’s eyebrows rose ever so slightly as he crossed his arms and considered Mike more seriously. Several silent moments passed until the last bit of tension broke. … The doctor now wore an unexpectedly open expression - the first Mike had ever seen. The man shifted slightly against the tree he was leaning against and sighed. “You really are as they described you, Michael,” he repeated in a softer tone. Mike wasn’t sure what just happened, but somehow, a major weight was lifted from his mind - a weight he hadn’t even realized was there until it disappeared.

----------

Forward - showed up 12 times in Apricity, as well as in this part

[Prithvi, Mahabhuta Ch 1 - Raw Draft]

No. No way. That couldn't be right. ‘Seize him. Seize the Bride.’ As the guards rushed his table, they knocked the coffee cup to the floor and quickly had him surrounded. They’d confiscated his bag, roughly seized his arms, and forced him to walk forward, towards the shop’s exit. Why was everyone just watching this unfold? Yes, he was an outsider… but surely these people couldn’t just mistreat him like this… right? And what was with the Bride deal? Beau was confident he wasn’t getting married to anyone. He wasn’t engaged to anyone - hell, he wasn’t even dating anyone! But even if he was, this was… something was off. Normally a wedding would be a happy occasion, right? And normally people would be ‘happy’ for a bride-to-be, right? Or they’d realize they had the wrong person, or realize he was in trouble, right? But if that was true, then why was everyone looking at him like- ‘Take him away. Take him far away’ Wide eyes. A notable distance. Tense postures. Shaky whispers. All of that passed him by as he was paraded out of the bakery restaurant and into the town square. While he wouldn’t describe himself as aggressive by any means, Beau would’ve stopped them… or at least, he would've tried to stop the guards from continuing to push him forward through the town square like some heinous criminal. But those expressions. They weren’t just scared. They were terrified. They were terrified of this Bride - terrified of him, to be exact.

----------

Later - only 15 times in Apricity, interestingly enough.

[Sapphire Precipice - Apricity Ch 12]

Beau gazed out the window, considering everything silently for a few moments before speaking up. “I get why you waited those first two weeks. You wanted to rule out the obvious and waited for me to feel better. But you saw multiple colors when I showed you the Mandala that Saturday. Why didn’t you say anything when we were writing that list? Did you really think I wouldn’t believe you after everything?” Beau asked with a frown. “I didn’t say anything at the time, because I wanted more data. I was sure some kind of correlation existed and knew it would be a big clue once I figured it out… but then midterms and La Push happened and I didn’t want to worry you even more with all the new stuff. So I…” Mike sighed. “Would you have said anything, if I hadn’t asked just now?” “Yes. Later today, to be exact.” Mike met Beau’s eyes. He needed- no, wanted Beau to believe him at least on that count. “Go on.” Beau raised an eyebrow. “I… I was still a bit unsure, until we talked to Harper three days ago. That’s when I knew I'd ask about it in Seattle. I was going to give you a heads up before we got to the-… ugh, it sounds so stupid in hindsight.” Mike sighed. “You’re right - I should’ve mentioned it earlier. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

#my tag games #my excerpts #tag game #find the word tag #mizuka's tag games #my writing #winter light excerpts

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luvrodite · 2 years

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tag game!!

thank u lovely @lauraneedstochill for the tag <3 adding a cut because my answers got a bit long at the end hehe

your name? it’s not actually my name but for the sake of privacy i go by aurore/ro on here xx

your sun sign? scorpio baby

the last thing you listened to? heat wave by snail mail! i’m at the hair salon and their playlist is really good)

what are you wearing? bell bottoms and a green cropped flowy top

how tall are you? 5’7 i think?? or in between 5’6 and 5’7

piercings? two on each ear!! i want a helix and nose piercing but i’m too chicken (i also choose peace while living with my parents)

tattoos? none and i don’t have plans for any but they’re so attractive

glasses, contacts? glasses. i used to wear contacts when i was in high school for a period of time but ultimately returned back to old faithful

last drink? water

last thing you ate? avocado and egg on toast!

any pets? no </3333 one day i will have an orange cat and my life will be complete

do you have a crush? once more, i wish but i get the ick so easy and i haven’t met anyone i actually want to crush on

favourite fictional characters? jo march (laura how kindred of us!!) anne shirley cuthbert, jason todd, alicent hightower - there’s SO many but jo and jason are so dear to my heart

a movie you think everyone should watch? i was wracking my brain for an answer to this and then i realised the movie i tell everyone to watch the most is the boy!!!!! i genuinely unironically love that movie, like, i loved lauren cohan from the walking dead and supernatural, and she was great (speaking subjectively as someone who doesn’t Watch Films). it’s probably not objectively great and it’s a bit silly but i love it anyway, and my best friend and i love brahms. he is my friend actually.

a book you think everyone should read? you deserve each other - romcoms get such bad press but i am a rom com girl till the day i die!!! this one was so special to me because i don’t think i’ve actually read second chance (?) romance books that actually convince me they should have given it another go. it sounds silly to say but i learned so much from this book and the characters are so so dear to me even in their ridiculousness. it’s very much millennial humour and cringey at times but i love them anyway and i think sarah hogle wrote a masterpiece. i recommended it to all my friends because it was so important to me. i could write an essay on the feelings i have about this book. so so good. so important. i loved the characters and their insecurities and miscommunication and how they addressed every issue that had caused their relationship to sour in the first place and worked to do better!! usually with second chances/grovelling it feels very superficial and i still hate the male lead even by the end of it but i came to love nicholas by the end. he and mr darcy are the only two times i’ve ever seen characters pass the reread/rewatch test - every time i watch it/read it i get nervous i’m gonna realise they’re still an asshole at the end but they always prove me wrong. i hated him so much in the beginning and by the end i was wishing he was real.

last place you travelled? the gold coast

no pressure tags: @st-eve-barnes @rottingviserys @1800-fight-me

#tag game

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imkylotrash · 3 years

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Darkness Hides Our Flaws

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan x reader

Requests: She is a Tidemaker. No one knows they're married just that she's extremely powerful. She feels insecure with the whole Alina thing but she goes along with it cause it's part of the plan. She uses his real last name so people don't suspect them. Anonymous And She's the second in command. They've been together for a couple centuries. Alina does something to make her angry and she attacks her during training. The darkling and her get into a fight because she thinks he loves Alina. She’s sent on a mission cause of what happened with Alina. Her group is attacked and killed and everyone thinks she's dead but she was kidnapped by Fjerda. Anonymous

Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @shadowhuntyi @alice-the-nerd @bshelley322

A/N I wasn’t sure if you meant his name in the Netflix show or his name in the book, so I did both.

You hate her from the moment she arrives. You’re not supposed to. She’s the Saint Aleksander has been waiting for. It’s a good thing she’s here, but you still just hate her. There’s something about the way he watches Alina that makes you cringe. It’s that pent up hatred towards her that makes you snap when he asks you to train her.

“I love you, Aleksander Morozova, but I will not spend any more time with her than needed.” You slip on your blue kefta taking a final look in the mirror before turning towards the man you consider the love of your very long life. His eyes are soft, but you know what hides within him. He’s angry that you’re refusing him.

“I beg your pardon?” He moves toward you with the kind of grace you’ve only ever seen a Shadow Summoner possess. It’s as if he moves with the shadows.

“You heard me. I know she’s part of your plan but I don’t care for her.” You don’t admit the insecurity you feel watching him with her. You’re a Tidemaker and she’s the Sun Summoner. The final piece of his puzzle to control the Fold entirely. Sometimes he looks at Alina as if she truly is a Saint.

“I’m not asking you to care for her. I’m asking you to train her.” You’re really not proud to admit that you’re jealous of her. You’ve been alive for centuries and still, you feel threatened by a whining, little girl. You let him cup your cheek with his hand but it doesn’t change anything for you. Alina will have to train with the others.

“Don’t force my hand. It won’t end well.” He kisses your forehead with such tenderness, you know that you’ve already lost the argument in advance. You’re his second in command, his right hand, and you can’t deny him. Of course, you’re right when you say that it won’t end well. 10 minutes after she arrives in your private training quarters, you’re fighting the urge to drown her just for the sake of it.

“How long has Aleksander-”

“I will not be discussing General Kirigan. If you wish to know, ask him.” You signal for her to come at you again but it’s just too easy. The girl has no idea how to pack a punch, and you feel a little better for every slap and punch you hit her with. You know it’s an awful thing to feel, but you’re not hurting her - it’s nothing compared to what the Fjerdans would do to her.

“Do better,” you say blocking yet another of her attacks. She’s only using half of her strength, but you’re not here to let her hold back. The sooner she learns to fight, the sooner you can go back to avoiding her.

“I think I enjoyed practice with Aleksander more.” She doesn’t understand the impact of what she just said but you see red. He never told he’d been training her. Your hands shake as you manipulate the water from the ewer forcing it down Alina’s throat. She’s drowning in a matter of seconds.

“What did you just say?” Unfortunately, this is how he finds the two of you. Alina choking on the water you’re controlling. His presence makes you lose focus, and she start coughing up the water immediately. He doesn’t have to say anything for you to know just how angry he is right now.

“My office. Now.” He helps Alina stand letting her lean on him as they walk out the door. You’re ready to drown yourself rather than face his rage. You just risked the life of his stupid Saint, and you know he’ll berate you for being foolish. But you’re not expecting the level of cruelty when you enter his office. Shadows surrounds you and while they don’t hurt you, you still feel fear kick in.

“It’s not nice to choke on others’ ability, is it?” You keep quiet instead taking a few steps forward. The shadows follow you preventing you from seeing anything.

“She said you’d been training her already. I don’t like feeling like a fool.”

“I trained her abilities, not her fighting skills.” It doesn’t make you feel any better because it still means he’s spent days and nights alone with her without bothering to tell you.

“Let me go.” He doesn’t retract the shadows, but you don’t need to see to feel the water in his body. It’s fun being a Tidemaker when you start thinking about just how much of one’s body consist of water. It’s almost too easy to reach out and grab hold of his lungs. It doesn’t take long before the shadows retreat, and you instantly let go of your hold over his body. You hate fighting with him.

“I’ll need you to lead a team up North. We’ve got a lead on the stag.” It’s an excuse to send you away, and you both know it. But you’re happy to go. At least, you won’t have to watch him fawn over Alina then.

“Fine.” It’s the last word you say to him before leaving. None of you expect Fjerdans to find you and actually manage to kill five Grishas as well as take you prisoner. You can only imagine how distraught he’ll be when he hears everyone is dead. But Fjerdans don’t know Small Science, and you do. It’s almost too easy once you slip out of the entrapment they’ve made for Grisha. You take pleasure in their screams, as they run for their lives. Unfortunately, you’ve never been good at showing mercy.

You’re half dead by the time you make it back to the Little Palace. Fedyor is the first to find you convinced he’s seeing things.

“We thought you were dead!” he exclaims catching you as you collapse. Later, you’ll find out that there was a ceremony to mourn you and the group of Grishas lost, but right now you’re struggling to focus on Fedyor’s face long enough to realise his mouth is moving.

“... to the infirmary.” You zoom in on the sound of his voice still not able to catch all of it. At one point, you lose consciousness and when you wake up, he’s sitting right next to your bed in the infirmary.

“I thought you died.” You’re surprised to see his eyes glistening. He’s never shown this much emotion outside of the privacy of your own quarters.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” You try to smile but your muscles refuse to respond. Your body is simply too tired.

“I sent you on that mission. My love, I am truly sorry.” No part of you feels angry with Aleksander. You’re just happy to be back with him.

“It’s not the first time Fjerdans thought they could kill me,” you say earning a tiny smile from him. You don’t even care about Alina anymore. You just need to feel his warmth surround you in every way. He must sense your need somehow, because he crawls into bed with you wrapping his arms around you.

“We have about 20 minutes before the guards return.” You snuggle up even closer closing your eyes.

“I love you, Aleksander Morozova.”

“I love you more.”

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone series #shadow and bone blurb #sab imagine #sab blurb #sab #the darkling #the darkling imagine #the darkling blurb #the darkling x reader #aleksander kirigan #aleksander kirigan x reader #aleksander kirigan blurb

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Amoreena | Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: talks of spencers major anxiety, parental death tw (not Diana or bob and Linda), trauma talks, computer hacking and new members joining the family...

word count: 4k

from the beginning <3

Taylors biggest surprise that weekend was what she had planned for Amoreena that night.

She set up a fort in the theatre room, they had every snack imaginable and any movie of her choice to watch. Karaoke in the corner, popcorn being popped in a theatre-style machine, and 3 different, matching child and adult, princess dresses for them to choose from.

It was all an elaborate plan to keep her preoccupied until bedtime, which Taylor offered to handle so that her parents could have a little wedding night date alone.

They’re all ready for a wonderful night when Spencer’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Spencer answers, sneaking away from the girls so he could hear better.

“Spencer, I am so sorry to interrupt you this late, but we have a situation… it’s not something that should be discussed over the phone. Do you have someone to watch Amoreena while you and Y/N come into the bureau? As soon as you can?”

His stomach drops, he feels instantly sick. “Not until you tell me who’s dead, who’s dying or who’s trying to kill us.”

“No one is, Spencer, it’s not a case or criminal related, it’s… personal, someone is here to see you,” she sounds serious and Spencer is still just as worried.

“I’ll tell the girls,” he responds before hanging up.

Y/N is standing right behind him, listening with wide eyes as she waits to soothe his panic. They worked like a well-oiled machine, she could physically feel his anxiety and in return, something about her just being there made him physically feel better.

“What’s wrong?” Taylor asks as she appears behind Y/N, Amoreena now off changing into one of the dresses she picked.

“They won't tell me on the phone but they need me and Y/N back at Quantico as soon as possible,” Spencer explained with a pale face, “we can go in the morning.”

“I’m fine watching Amoreena for the night, there’s a hanger down the road with a few of my dad’s planes, I can have someone take you to Virginia within the next hour? It's only 7 pm, I’m sure you can be back before bedtime?” Taylor offered her services for the 100th time that day, “It’s not a problem, really, and they wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious, they’re the FBI after all.”

With that, they said goodbye to Amoreena and told her they’d be back before she woke up in the morning. If not, she had Y/N’s cellphone for the night to call them before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up, so she won't bother Taylor that early. (Even though Taylor said she wouldn’t mind early morning Amoreena cuddles.)

He was anxious on the drive to the small airport, the old man named Norman, chartering them that night was incredibly kind, they were granted lading access in Quantico and before he could prepare, they were up in the air. He chatted up a storm with Y/N on the headset radio as Spencer overthought the upcoming chat with JJ and stared out at the world below them.

On queue, he jumped from anxious to scared when they land, before getting in the shuttle from the airstrip to the front entrance, but he’s so incredibly terrified when it comes time to actually start the walk to the bullpen.

“Will you come in with me?” His small voice asks as she is pinning a visitors tag on her shirt.

“Of course,” she smiled, taking his hand as they walked into the elevator together.

He grips her hand tighter as the elevator stops, dipping and returning to the right height and making his stomach drop the same way a rollercoaster would. He hated that feeling more than anything, having it alongside the anxiety wasn’t helpful.

He can see JJ and another girl sitting together at his old desk. She’s smiling at whatever JJ says, she looks exactly like Amoreena just with box-dyed black hair that shines purple under the lighting. She’s in all black, she pushes her glasses up her nose with her sweater hiding her hands, Spencer knows she’s a foster kid from just her posture.

“JJ,” Spencer makes their presence clear and the little girl turns to him with a huge smile, running to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Hi?”

She’s sobbing ten and he doesn’t know why or even who she is, he lightly holds her with complete shock on his face. He stares at JJ with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as he communicates the confusion and terror with his eyes.

“This is Josephine Elliot, or Jo as she likes to be called, her parents passed away a few months ago and she recently found out her biological father was actually a sperm donor and not her moms husband,” JJ explains a little before sighing and sitting on the edge of the desk.

“She hacked into the sperm bank and found your name, and google led her to the FBI and they stopped her at the second gate, the first only let her in thinking she was your other daughter, Amoreena.”

“I’m so sorry,” the poor girl wipes her tears with her sweater sleeves, “I don’t know why I hugged you when you don’t even know me, ew sorry.”

Spencer pulls her back into a hug, “it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about wanting a hug ever again. You can have whatever you need from me.”

She cries more, holding on to his shirt as he holds her, shushing her softly and rubbing his hand over her back. It’s weird how safe she seems this early in their acquaintance with one another, but he understands it. She’s so desperate for someone related to her to love her again, to replace what she was missing from her parents, that she’s already accepted him as a father without thinking it through. Without even know what he would be like to her.

When she finally calmed down enough, Spencer led her towards the briefing room so they could have a moment alone to talk. He wanted to know her, and she needed to know him before she made another big decision. He let her know who he was, what he used to do and the rundown on his relationship with Y/N and Amoreena.

“So you met her at the park and got married a week later because you both have dead exes and somehow through fate, you made a kid together?” She summed it up in a way that made it sound ridiculous.

“Mutual trauma is a great bonding tool, I’m sure you probably listen to rock music or anything sad and angry because you know someone feels the exact same way you do? I was like that when I was a teenager. We've both lost someone we loved and then made Amoreena out of pure luck,” he combated her snarky summary with his own profile of her.

“I actually like Taylor Swift, Paramore, Evanescence and Olivia Rodrigo when I need to scream about being sad, thank you very much,” she teased him, finding a very easy rhythm as they got to know one another.

“You’re going to lose your mind when you find out who’s with Amoreena right now,” Spencer smiles, somehow everything just fits together.

“What?” She looks so confused, scrunching her face the same way he did to push her glasses up without her hands.

“It’s a long story, but essentially we were at Taylor Swift’s house when JJ called, she’s watching Amoreena still,” Spencer explained, watching her jaw drop.

“Who the fuck are you, dude?” She whispered, and it took Spencer by surprise. “Sorry, I’m so used to swearing in front of adults lately to get my point across. But seriously, you’re so interesting…”

“Understandable,” Spencer laughs lightly at her strange compliment. “I have a lot of connections, and I’ll do anything to see the people I love, smile, that includes you now.”

“You barely know me and you’re just ready to accept that I’m your kid? Didn’t this just happen to you last week?” She laughs at the insanity of it all, “you’re going to have a million kids at this rate, dude.”

Again, she calls him dude and he knows she’s just trying to distance her emotions as they grow fonder and fonder. A coping mechanism so that she doesn’t get hurt anymore, she’s lost too much and she’s not going to love him just to lose him too.

“My dad ran out on me when I was a kid, I basically raised myself when my mom’s schizophrenia got bad, I know what it’s like to feel alone even when you’re with people who are supposed to love you,” he makes sure she knows who he is inside.

“I’m sorry,” she reaches a hand out for him, holding it softly. “I never really liked my dad growing up, he always felt off… I can’t explain it, but he was never the same guy twice he was either angry, miserable or scarily happy," she explains him and all Spencer can think is how he sounds like an unsub.

"I do miss my mom a lot, I didn’t know what else to do when I found out they couldn’t have babies together and she went to a Sperm bank without telling him. I know the names of your other kids too, besides Amoreena, I’m really surprised you found her mom without hacking the system too but, yeah, Dylan is 6 and Alice is 10, they’re both in DC with the same 2 mom’s, so if you didn’t want me, I was going to see if they would cause I’m technically their stepdaughter in a weird way and if I spent one more day in that foster home I would have ended it all,” it's a Reid rant, she's his for sure.

It takes him a minute to absorb it all, “wait, Amoreena is mine for sure?”

She nods like it’s a stupid question, “could you not tell my just looking at her? The 3 of us have the same face.”

“No, they wouldn’t tell us at the clinic,” Spencer is still in shock but more so that she got into the database so easily, “how did you do it?”

“It was easy, I had all the information about the sample my mom used so I just encrypted an email to the secretary of the sperm bank so as soon as she clicked the link to read more I’d have access to her computer, they didn’t even know I was in the system, they probably still don’t know I was there,” she explains it exactly how Penelope would.

“I don’t want you to think I’d ever not want you,” Spencer holds her hand a little tighter, “I’m not sure what the process will be like trying to get the foster agency to agree to me taking you home with us, but I’ll see what I can do. We have a big house and enough room for you in our hearts if this is where you’d like to be. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, you might hate the farm life and the isolation and all the cousins you now have, but you’re a piece of me and I’m not letting you go.”

She uses her free hand to wipe her tears on her sleeve again, “please, I know it’s not going to be the same but I miss having a family so much.”

He wraps her up in his arms, he knows the feeling all too well. One day his mom was there, the next day she was gone and no one prepared him for that. She never had to do this alone, Spencer wasn’t going to let that happen to her.

“Y/N is wonderful, you’ll love her and Amoreena. We live on a huge farm and there’s a lot to do during the day and people to spend time with, believe me, you’re going to feel so surrounded by the love you won’t know what to do with it all,” he shares from personal experience.

“Okay,” she hugged him tighter, pressing her face into his neck as he talked more, feeling the vibrations of his voice on her forehead to know that he was real. That his words were true and she was going to be taken care of.

“Is there anything about yourself that you’d like me to know? Or any questions you have? I’m sure this is going to be an interesting adjustment,” Spencer asked as he pulled away, looking down into her sweet eyes and seeing the hope she was still hanging on to.

“Is Y/N even okay with all of this? It’s her house isn’t it?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with it, she knew I had you and the other 2 out there somewhere, we just never expected to meet you so soon,” he’s as honest as possible, talking to her the same way he would with Henry, she seemed even more mature than him.

“Can she come in here too? I’d like to get to know her as well, see if she’s really as lovely as you say she is,” she smiled, coping with her trauma the same way he and Y/N did, with humour.

Almost like Y/N could feel him thinking about her, she knocked on the door before opening it a crack, “sorry, I have some updates,” she smiled.

Josephine smiled at her, “come in.”

Y/N sat down close to her and placed her hand on her shoulder, “my sister is a foster parent, she called her caseworker and they were able to rush the emergency next of kin paperwork, you can stay with us for as long as you would like to.”

“You’re serious? You barely know me?” She kept repeating that as if she convinced herself earlier in the day that they wouldn’t want to know her.

Y/N wrapped her up in a soft hug and Spencer saw all the tension leave Josephines body as she settled against her. It had been a long time since a mother held her, she didn’t realize how much she needed it until she was in her arms.

“You’re half Spencer, so by default you have a portion of my heart now too. I’m not going to love you as an obligation or because I feel like I have to, I love you because you’re part of him and our family,” she whispers into her hair, “I know what it’s like to be alone, you never have to be... unless we’re smothering you then I get it, but you know what I mean.”

She laughed in Y/N’s arms before pulling back. Y/N held her face in her hands and looked at her gently. She ran her fingers through her dyed hair, “you’re going to fit right in with the 4 of us.”

“Four?” She repeats, wondering who else they lived with.

“I’m pregnant,” Y/N smiles as Josephine lights up.

“I’ve always wanted to be a big sister,” she cried a little, “my mom named me after Jo from Little Women, she said she always planned to give me lots of sisters.”

“If this one is a girl she’ll be Eleonora like—“

“Like the poem, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favourites,” Jo smiled again.

Somehow, without even being there, Amoreena’s mess of glitter glue was able to patch her older sister's broken heart right then and there too.

“I read really fast, my mom said she was going to go bankrupt buying books for me,” she opened up more and more, the hurt of the memories fading as she remembered them with happiness instead of mourning.

Her mom was gone, but the love of a mother filled her space once more. Y/N took her under her wing, keeping her warm and making sure he grew to be as happy healthy and wonderful as all her other babies.

—

They arrive at Taylor's door once again at 11:30. Amoreena is sound asleep in the spare room, not even able to change out of her princess costume or phone them to say goodnight. Taylor said she had a sugar crash and just asked to go to sleep, reminding Taylor that she had the best day ever before closing her tired little eyes.

Jo was very anxious to meet Taylor too, telling her a similar story to Y/N’s from just a few hours prior. Taylor made sure she was comfortable for the night in another spare room, making her a hot chocolate and some snacks from earlier that day at lunch. She was the best host, a wonderful friend and an even better honorary godparent to these girls of Spencer’s.

“Can I have a hug?” She sheepishly asks before she has to turn down the hall to her bedroom for the night.

Spencer answers by wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to his chest once more, he wasn’t sure how his heart could hold so much love for these girls, and still have room left to make more one day. It was a dream come true to have a family this big, no one was going to believe that he gained 3 kids and a wife in under a month.

He kissed her on the forehead gently, seeing her smile at the contact let him know it was fine. “Goodnight dad,” she whispers, pressing her lips together awkwardly the same way he did before turning down the hall and disappearing into her room.

She had only a backpack of things currently, not expecting everything to go as smoothly as it did. She had enough clothes to sleep in, and Taylor happily provided some old tour perch to her just in case she needed something new to wear. Something to help her ease to sleep that didn’t feel like she was going back to her old life in the morning.

Amoreena was going to have a field day tomorrow when she met her big sister, the beautiful girl who was busy covering her scars with bandaids provided by Spencer, but it would take a lot of time, effort and care to make her feel truly healed again. It was going to be interesting seeing Amoreena adjust to sharing him so early, especially since he knew Jo would need so much more attention to ease her anxiety moving forward.

Spencer sat on the guest bed beside Y/N, noticing all the rose petals and candles on the dresser and night tables, “oh she really had a lot planned for us.”

“She’s the fairy godmother of our dreams,” Y/N agreed with a laugh. “I don’t mind staying up late tonight if you don’t mind leaving on Monday instead?”

“I was going on suggest the same thing,” he smiled at her, leaning in to press their lips together gently for the first time since the wedding that afternoon.

“let's get into our comfy’s and go for a walk on the beach, Taylor left me the keys to lock up when we come back,” she whispered the words against his lips before smiling.

“Can I call Derek before we go? I really need to talk to him,” he’s honest with her as he pulls away, feeling really anxious and shook up at the events of the day. He needed his best friend.

“Yeah, I’ll go check out the rest of the guest house, come find me when you’re done?” She says softly, getting off the bed with a smile and stepping out of the room with a small wave.

He takes his phone out and dials the number, waiting with the phone pressed against his ear as it rings. Again and again, every new hum in his ear making his heart beat faster, “hello?” He’s finally rescued.

“Have you talked to anyone on the team lately?”

“Who died?” It was everyone’s go-to question when they got a phone call like this one.

“No one, quite the opposite actually—“

“She’s pregnant!” Derek shouts, cutting him off and Spencer can hear Savannah asking who from the background.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not why I'm calling,” Spencer replies only to be met with Derek's laughter.

“Penny and I had a bet on how long it would take.”

“She cheated because she knew we were trying,” Spencer takes the fun from him, Penelope always won. “I have another kid.”

“I know man, birth is so cool— well I’m telling him anyway,” Derek is clearly talking to Savannah and him at the same time, “we’re pregnant again too.”

“No, Derek, I’m pregnant and sick as hell while you’re perfectly fine,” she snaps back at him as she takes the phone. “You better be so kind to her Doctor Spencer Reid; rub her feet, make her breakfast, thank every god on earth and the ground she walks on for being willing to make another version of you, do you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Spencer hold back a laugh, wondering when Y/N would have a hormonal switch like that, “but I didn’t mean the one in her stomach, another fully formed human of my creation walked into the BAU looking for me today.”

There’s a rustling through the phone as Derek takes it back from her, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Her name is Jo, she’s exactly a month younger than Henry and her parents died 7 months ago,” he continues without even repeating the last part, “Derek I have 3 kids now and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Where are you right now?”

“In Taylor Swift's guest house.”

“Spencer, be serious with me, are you doing drugs again?"

“Ask Penelope, she contacted Portia, Rossi’s stepdaughter, who contacted Taylor so I could help Y/N and Amoreena meet her, then JJ called and made us fly all the way to Quantico and now I have 2 children living with me and one on the way. Not to mention, child 1 is extremely jealous about sharing me with people and hasn’t even gotten accustomed to being a big sister, and child 2 is so traumatized she hacked the fucking sperm bank and explained it to me like it was as easy as making a sandwich. I am in over my head here, Derek.”

“Okay, that sounded more like Spencer Reid,” Derek’s calm and happy voice calms him slightly and prompts him to take a deep breath. “If she’s able to hack she’s most likely like Penelope, we can introduce them. She’ll need someone who understands the loss of a parent. Amoreena, on the other hand, you need to spend a day with just her. Take her to the movies, or to see a play or something. Let her know she’s always going to be your little girl no matter how many siblings she gets.”

“Thank you, I needed someone who wasn’t my overly optimistic wife to tell me if I could do it,” he’s overly honest, Derek is his person and will always be his person.

“I get it, thanks for calling me, I’m really glad you’re okay,” he can hear Derek's smile and all he wants is a hug from him. “How was the wedding?”

“Good, we all cried a lot,” he laughs then, “we were supposed to have a big dinner on the beach before we got called into Quantico, so I’m going to go spend time with her now, I love you, Derek,” he rushes the words out so he doesn’t get overly emotional.

“I love you too, Spencer, have a good night,” Derek hands up before they both get too emotional. They always had a knack for making the other cry in times like this.

He lets out a deep sigh before tossing his phone on the bedside table. 3 of his 5 kids were here with him and Y/N now, safe and sound. If anyone else needed him, they could wait.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

@k-k0129

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

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george-mackay-macfine · 3 years

Text

Let's play a game. Prt 4.

A/N: Sorry it took so long, I had uni but how are you all liking the story and the characters?

Tag list; @neocil @cjand10 @queen-bunnyears @rebelflower19

If you want to join the tag list let me know.

"Let me in, Edwards." Hastings continued to bang on the door.

"No," I called back at him. "I don't want to spend another night in your bed. Never. Ever." Back braced against the wood.

"Don't lie. You'll make the baby Jesus cry."

"Shut up, Hastings." I turned, fingers digging into the wood grain as I stood on my tippy-toes watching him. There he was out in the hallway, one arm resting on the other side of the door, his teeth showing as he laughed all too easily at his own dumb joke. "I'm not opening the door, so you may as well leave." He rolled his eyes, looking at the peephole. "I'm serious." He stood there for a minute, contemplating the options I'd given him.

"Fine." He pushed away from the door. "Have it your way." and then he was gone, disappearing down the hallway.

"Alone again, finally." I pushed myself away and walked back into my kitchen, where my frozen meal sat on the cutting board. I'd been reading the directions before Hastings had so rudely interrupted me. "Heat on high for ten minutes… ten minutes." I picked the box up and looked at it. "You're supposed to be easy and quick!" I cried at it as if it had the ability to apologise for the disgusting amount of time I was going to have to wait for it to heat up.

"I am sorry about this." I heard Hastings voice from the hallway. "Forgot my key again." Jude Hastings says what now?

"It's not a problem, Jude. I'm just happy you and Darcy finally got over your issues." The voice of my too sweet, too kind, too naive landlady Patricia Gregson cooed at Hastings. "And what you have planned for the night, It's the least I can do after the effort you've gone through." Was the last she said before the door swung open.

"Honey, I'm home." My own personal demon smirked, stepping into my house. My domain. He was not allowed in my house. "What are you doing there? I told you I was taking you to my apartment for a special dinner." He walked in like he owned the place.

"Hi Darcy, sweetheart." Patricia waved from the hallway. "I was just telling Jude here how happy I am for the two of you." She smiled happily. "If my Colin was around to see you two now." She shook her head, her eyes glazing over to another time. She pulled herself back, shaking her head, looking at both Jude and I. "He'd be so happy to see this. We always knew you'd wind up together."

Oh, Patricia. If only you knew.

"Yeah." I nodded my head, unable to break her heart. "It's a shock to us all." I walked over to where he stood and slung an arm around his waist. "Thanks for letting him in." I smiled through gritted teeth. "I must have been in the bathroom when he was knocking."

"You've been peeing a lot lately." Hastings looked down at me. "When was your last period? You don't think-"

"I better be off, lots to do." Patricia reached in and grabbed the door handle, quickly pulling it shut behind her. When I'm sure she was gone, I pushed Hastings away from me, shoving him hard.

"Are you out of your mind?"

"What?"

"What?" I mimicked his stupid voice. "You just insinuated to my landlady that I am with child, you absolute dickhead."

"Sorry." He snorted.

"Sorry?"

"Yeah, sorry." He turned away and started to look through my house. "You packed your bag yet?"

"You know I haven't." I sighed.

"Well, go pack one." He put his hands on his hips, his shirt lifting as he moved to reveal the slither of flesh that I have a distinct memory of running my tongue across last night.

"Look, Hastings… Tonight really isn't a good night." I ran a hand through my hair. "I have to be at work early tomorrow, and it's just… I don't know how ready I'll be to teach a group of kids if I don't wake up in my own bed, and I'm still tense from a sleepless night lying beside you." I admitted. "I know what the whole game is, but I don't know if I can play tonight-"

"Darcy." He stopped me mid-speech. "Don't worry about the game. Your job's more important." He pointed through to where my bedroom was visible. "Besides, your bed looks comfortable, so I don't mind. I'll sleep here." He shrugged, walking into the small kitchen. "We'll order some food because that looks like unappealing crap… watch a movie, and then I'll woo you to death." I watched him. For the first time in a long time, I watched Jude Hastings rifle through the assortment of take away menu's I had hanging on the fridge. His body looked abnormally large in the small kitchen. "Aha." He cheered when he found a menu he liked. "Chinese." For the first time in a long time, all I could think was maybe this wouldn't be the worst night ever.

"What are you doing."

"Ordering us Chinese." He waved the menu. "Still a fan of chow mien?"

"You remember?"

"You ate it every Friday for a year." He winked. "And I have a good memory."

"I see your good at self-encouragement."

"It's not the only thing I'm good at." He smirked, holding his phone to his ear. "I'm also good at rescuing a damsel in distress from a microwave meal."

"I'm not going to sleep with you again, Hastings." I walked to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine, grabbing the nearby glasses. "So this whole thing, the hot guy coming to order Chinese food with his dreamy bedroom eyes… It won't work."

"You think I have dreamy bedroom eyes?" He gave a lopsided grin. "Hi yes," He spoke into the phone. "Can I order a delivery please." I tuned him out as I poured the two glasses of white wine and sat down at the small island bench. I wasn't even sure if he drank wine, but it was open, and I wasn't one to waste alcohol. "It'll be about fifteen-twenty minutes."

"Okay." I passed the second glass of wine to him, taking a large sip of my own.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Only if it's a good one I don't want anything subpar." He moved, sitting beside me on the second chair. His glass of wine clanking against the bench as he moved. He leaned in, his free hand brushing hair behind my ear, teasingly slow.

"If you think I was giving you bedroom eyes before." He chuckled lowly, head dipping so our eyes were level, the very tip of his nose bushing mine. "Then you won't believe what it's like when I really give you bedroom eyes."

"You think you're so smooth, don't you."

Part of me really wanted to see those bedroom eyes, the other part of me knew that I may not have the will to not sleep with him again if I did.

"I don't, actually." He pulled away slightly. "But I'm trying to win your heart, and your beautiful, so I'm going to tell you."

"Are you drunk?"

"No." I leant an elbow on the counter, laying my head in my hand looking up at him. "And tomorrow morning, I'm still going to be sober, and you." He shook his head, looking up to the ceiling. "You… You are still going to be beautiful." Am I imagining this, or is THE Jude Hastings giving me a compliment.

"Woe." I couldn't help the smile that came to my face. A big smile, one that felt like it was the first genuine smile I'd had in years. "You really are a smooth, smooth man Hastings."

"Why do you never call me Jude?"

"Why do you hardly call me Darcy."

"Because you call me Hastings all the time."

"I only call you Hastings because—"I stumbled. "I don't know I've just always called you Hastings." I sat up, pulling one of my knees up into my chest. "Who knows, maybe one day I'll call you Jude."

"I think my heart would stop if you ever did that,"

"How do you think the town is taking the news of our epic romance?"

"Well, I checked the obituaries this morning, so far we haven't shocked anyone to death yet."

"So you're saying we've failed." I laughed. "A day of pretending to be a couple and no one has rolled over and died?" I gasped.

"Maybe that means that we need to step it up, huh?"

"Flattering, but I am not interested."

"Honeybird," Another new nickname? Calm down Edwards. "You looked me in the eye a little too long to not be interested in me."

"You're really trying this aren't you." I waved a finger between us.

"Trying what?"

"To get me to fall in love with you." A smile pulled on his lips, not his usual asshole smirk, but a genuine smile, the one that to make butterflies launch themselves all around my stomach.

"It'd be an honour to have the Darcy Alice Edwards fall in love with me, so I'm going to give it my all."

"As it would be an honour to break your heart, Jude Alexander Hastings."

"So you do know how to say my name." He sat back, arms crossing over his chest as he looked me feigning shock. "I'm also going to need you to tell Sato that Fredrick isn't my real middle name."

"No." I began to pick at the hem of my nightgown, thankful he'd given me a Segway comment from the conversation that was getting all too serious too fast. "I don't think I can do that,"

"What is the obsession."

"With?"

"Telling people I have that heinous name as any part of me?"

"I like the idea of all these girls being so enraptured by Jude Hastings, picturing themselves as Mrs Jude Hastings, then having that dream crash and burn around them when they think that your middle name is Fredrick… I mean the name isn't exactly a turn-on." I shrugged. Hastings watched me for a moment, studying me as if this was the first time he, a male, had ever come in contact with me, a female.

"You really are evil." His hand stretched out, his fingers tapping against my temple gently. "This brain in here, it was made for terrible, terrible things,"

"Not terrible things." I denied. "Just terrible things when you're involved."

I needed him to stop touching me, because the slight rub of his fingers over my skin made flashbacks from last night pop up all over my brain, which caused my heart rate to increase, which caused me to want to see if he was as good as he was last night sober, which was a horrible thought to have indeed when you're dealing with a childhood enemy.

"More wine." I stood and walked back to the fridge, ignoring the half-open bottle on the table. I needed space from him.

"There's wine here." I kept my back to him, walking to the small sink and standing in front of it. I needed my space. I hated Jude Hastings, with a passion… But something inside of me wanted to let him in, let him change my mind about him, or at least let a part of him in… "Darcy." His voice was suddenly behind me, his hands on my hips, the edge of my shirt lifting as he held on.

Stop it Darcy. Stop thinking with your metaphorical dick.

His right hand left my hip and went to the hair that covered my neck, pushing it out of the way. My hands gripped onto the bench tighter, as I told myself over and over not to turn around, not to face him because if I did then that was it. We'd end up in my bed, our incoming food forgotten. But then his lips touched my neck and my knees went weak as my head lolled backwards resting on his shoulder, and I wasn't sure I was in the mood for Chinese anymore. I turned around, looking up at Hastings.

"Do you want to know what I think when I think about you, Darcy?" He whispered, his hands pushing the hair behind my ear as I numbly nodded. "I see the little girl who wore a sunflower sundress and ran around my parents' backyard like a kid on a sugar high." I knew the exact dress he was talking about. "The little girl who I got Christmas photos with every year up until we were thirteen… That was when you started to hate me." He was right. "You will always be the little girl I had a crush on when I was eight."

"You… You had a crush on me?" A smile that made my heart race spread across his lips.

"Only the biggest one, you were the cutest girl I'd ever seen."

Don't fall for it Darcy, this is all part of his big old plan to make you fall in love with his stupid squishable face.

"Dinner will be here in a minute. I'm going to wash up." I sidestepped around him and made my way to my small bathroom. "Get together, Darcy." I muttered, leaning against the door as soon as I'd shut it, disconnecting myself from the girl who was just fawning all over Hastings. "Fuck," I walked over the sink and took a look at myself. My cheeks were flushed and my hair was slightly puffed from where Hastings had moved it aside to kiss my neck.

Involving parents and colleagues was a level of dirty. Inflicting emotional bullshit from the past was a whole new level of dirty. Clearly, Hastings had no problem playing that card.

If he really thinks he can get me on the sentimental crap just because I'm a woman, then I'm going to use the greatest weakness of a man against him.

"Hastings, you are going down." My hands gripped onto the edge of the sink as I formulated my plan. Thankfully years of watching Hastings be a man whore in front of me I knew exactly what to do to get his blood pumping.

"Darcy," His fingers tapped against the door, "Dinner is here."

"You start." I walked over pulling the door open wide. "I'm just going to change." I walked past him and into my bedroom, shutting the sliding doors that cut it off from the rest of the apartment, making sure I left a sizeable gap for any peering eyes - trust me, there were going to be peeping eyes. "Where are you," I muttered, looking at the pile of clothes I'd discarded before I'd begun cooking today. I needed Hastings shirt. "Bingo." I spotted the white material underneath my jeans. Stripping from the dress I made sure the straps of my bra - I'd paid a lot for it once upon a time, I needed it to come through for me - could be seen, or at least enough for Hastings to see through the thin fabric of his shirt. Pulling it over my body, I fastened the buttons before pulling a pair of white socks over my feet. I could feel his eyes on me as I stood back up, fixing my hair and pulling the shirt down.

Play innocent, Darcy.

"Smells good." I called out as I turned. There he was, standing at the kitchen bench filled with Chinese take out watching me. His eyes looked drastically darker and I don't think it was just because of the distance between us. I pushed the doors open trying to control the smile that wanted to break out on my face as I walked over to the bench. "Yum." I picked up the container of chow mien. "You not eating?"

"What I want isn't exactly on the menu."

"Oh?" I picked up the menu and waved it. "They're usually pretty good. You could have asked them to make it." I lifted myself up onto a clean spot on the bench, crossing my legs underneath each other. "I'm sure it could have been on the menu."

"Darcy," His eyes were travelling all over my body. "This isn't fair."

"What I'm going to eat all this Chinese, and you don't get any?"

"Yeah." He picked up a nearby carton and shoved a pair of chopsticks inside. "Something like that."

"I can't wait for bed." I lifted one of my arms above my head and stretched, cool air hitting the newly exposed skin. "I'm so beat."

"Fucking Christ." He mumbled, shaking his head.

Darcy - One.

Man-whore demon - nill.

"Language." I quipped, picking a noodle from the carton and popping it into my mouth. "Mhhhmm." I moaned excessively at the taste. Turn it up, why don't you, Darcy.

Good luck not busting a nut tonight, Hastings.

#dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien imagine #Dylan O'Brien story #Dylan O'Brien Head Cannon #dylan o'brien x reader #Calahan Skogman #Calahan Skogman imagine #Harry Styles #Harry Styles Imagine #Harry Styles one shot #Dylan O'Brien One shot #George MacKay #George MacKay imagine

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lesbianlotties · 3 years

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Journeys end in lovers meeting - Sam/Deena - Bly Manor AU

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson, Sarah Fier/Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Nick Goode, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Deena Johnson Characters: Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Deena Johnson, Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Simon Kalivoda, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Constance (Fear Street Part 3: 1666), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street), Alice (Fear Street Part 2: 1978), Sarah Fier (Fear Street), Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Solomon Goode (Fear Street) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, The Haunting of Bly Manor AU, Not Canon Compliant, Haunted Houses, Ghosts, Character Death, Minor Character Death, Canon Lesbian Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Au Pair Sam, Gardener Deena, Housekeeper Kate, Cook Simon, Josh and Constance as troubled kids, Ziggy and Nick in an unhealthy relationship, minor Cindy/Alice, Martin cameos, special appearances of all the Shadyside killers as ghosts, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, The Rest Is Confetti Summary: The year is 1994. Samantha Fraser recently moved to Shadyside, and she desperately needs a job that will help her leave her troubled past behind. She starts working as au pair at Shadyside Manor, where she is not the only one tortured by ghosts. Grief, regrets, guilt, innocent victims, and an ancient curse. At the center of all of it... love.

Chapter 4:

Sam really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but it was a hectic day for everyone but here. It was an accident, really. She just wanted a glass of water, but when she heard Deena and Kate arguing in the kitchen, she stopped before reaching the doorway, and couldn’t help but listen.

“Are you seriously not going?” Deena was saying.

“No, Deena,” Kate replied, in a tone that made it obvious it wasn’t the first time she said so. “I’ll only go to a funeral when I’m dead, thank you very much.”

“Maybe I should kill you then,” Deena grumbled. In the hallway, Sam fought back a smile at the grumpiness of the gardener. “He’s your platonic husband and you’re letting him down in the most fucking tragic day of his life, Kate.”

“He understands,” Kate snapped back at her. “Besides, we’ve let each other down before.”

Eavesdropping on teenagers feels even worse. But Sam can’t help herself, again. She just seems to be at the right place at the right time, and nobody hears her coming. She was just looking for Constance and Josh when she found them talking in the classroom in whispers. She worried they might have been planning something unwise, so she listened in for a moment.

“Do you think they can follow us?” Constance asked in a whisper.

“No, I don’t think it works like that,” Josh replied.

The girl hummed thoughtfully and then added, in a considerably more distressed tone, “Do you think they’ll try to stop us?”

“Shh! Constance!” Josh stopped her. “Let’s just… see what happens, okay? We’re in this together, right? All of us.”

Sam considered intervening, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out what they were talking about. She could barely keep track of their changing moods or Constance’s name. In the end, she walked away, deciding to keep an eye out and studying them more closely when she had the chance.

Sam had tried her best, but she really had nothing else to do at the moment. It was strange, having a day mostly free from her responsibilities as au pair. Deena would be taking Josh and Constance with her to Simon’s mom’s funeral. A little lost in her thoughts without anything else to do while they all got ready, Sam took a seat near the bottom of the stairs, looking out at the gardens she could see through the open door. It started out as a particularly sunny day, not at all something you’d expect for a funeral.

The au pair was leaning against the railing of the stairs. A little behind her, under the safety and familiarity of the manor’s shadows, Harry Rooker stood perfectly still. His clothes hadn’t changed at all in all the decades he had been wandering those halls, even his bowtie was in still place. The same couldn’t be said about his face though. The passing of the years, one after another, had slowly washed away his features. His eyes were no longer there, his mouth was barely noticeable and his nose wouldn’t likely last long. The burn on the side of his face, which had hurt him so much during the war and cost him so much even after his return, was still there, stubbornly, almost mocking him. As well as his knife, always in his hand, always sharp. Never being useful anymore.

The sound of a heavy pair of boots coming down the stairs, as often, disturbed the peace of the foyer. Sam tried not to look too excited as she turned her head to look at Deena descend the stairs, but when she saw the gardener’s outfit she probably failed to hide her pleased reaction.

“Hi,” Sam gasped a little and stood up, “You look…”

“Like I remembered how to take a shower?” Deena smirked. She reached the bottom of the stairs and showed off her clothes, consisting of all black pants, shirt, and blazer that fit her perfectly, made her look a little too good for a funeral, if Sam had to give her honest opinion.

“Like a waiter,” Sam said, biting her lip to keep that honest opinion from spilling out.

“Hey! Didn’t know that side of you, Sunnyvale. Rude,” Deena replied, smiling the entire time. When her expression softened a little, she asked, “Are you sure you’re okay staying here by yourself?”

“Yes, t’s okay. Besides, Kate’s here too.”

Deena made an unamused sound. “Sometimes it feels like she isn’t,” she murmured.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed quietly. Before the silence could stretch for too long, she spoke up again. “Anyway, I, um, had to… be present in a funeral, not too long ago. It’s… I can’t, again. Not yet.”

As she spoke, Sam couldn’t look Deena in the eyes. Not when the only thing in her mind was Sunnyvale. Peter. Her mother. Peter. Twentyfive entitled children in a classroom. Peter. A heavy engagement ring and suffocating wedding dress. Peter.

But it didn’t start like that. It started with her father getting sick, her mother being cruel enough to divorce him on the spot to save herself from taking care of him, and Sam being already in Sunnyvale, thirty minutes away, when he finally died. It started with her mother wrapping her in her best dress, too old for her already, and dragging her to the neighbors house, because they were rich, and look at that handsome young boy, he already has his eyes on you! They were only eight. But then they were twelve, and Peter got in a fight for her and felt entitled to her attention ever since, and nobody ever told her she didn’t have to give him anything she didn’t want to. So when he demanded it, she gave him a kiss, a second date, the color of her prom dress so he could get a matching tie. She gave and she gave until she didn’t know what else he could take from her, but everyone made her feel like she still owed him. So she gave hiim a second chance when he first hit her, and she gave him her bags when he told her to move in with him, she gave him a third and fourth chance, and she gave him the answer he wanted when he offered her a wedding ring.

“Sam? Are you okay?”

In the blink of an eye, Sam was back in Shadyside Manor, with Deena’s gentle hands on her elbows, anchoring her to reality, and those warm brown eyes worriedly searching her face, not knowing what horrors they could find behind the walls Sam spent a lifetime building.

“Yes,” Sam blurted out. “Yes, I’m okay. I’m okay.”

“Right,” Deena nodded and slowly stepped away from the au pair. “Well, I’m leaving now. Try to come up with something real to tell me when I return, okay?”

Sam suddenly couldn’t come up with any words so she nodded, smiled, and watched holding her breath as Deena walked away from her, not without glancing over her shoulder by the door.

Sam stood awkwardly in the middle of the chapel. She had made it too far to turn around now, but she didn’t dare move closer and interrupt Kate who appeared to be praying. Except, before Sam made up her mind about her next move, Kate spoke up without turning around.

“Are you just going to stand there like a ghost?”

“Sorry,” Sam blushed. “Uh, how did you know I was-”

“I have eyes on the back of my head, darling,” Kate replied with a smile and finally turned around.

“Am I interrupting you?”

“No, it’s okay,” Kate softened. “I’m not a funeral type of person. I deal with loss in my own way.”

“I get it,” Sam nodded. She found the courage to continue walking closer to the other woman.

“If you ask me,” Kate continued, somewhat unprompted, “This is more for our own comfort.” She nodded her head to the side, indicating the five red little candles burning. “You have to be there for people while they’re still alive. Simon gave his entire life for his mother. I’ve been there with him for most of the journey, in ways that I know count so much more than missing out on one tragic goodbye party.”

Again, Sam nodded. She took a seat down on one of the pews close to Kate. She really didn’t want to think about the funerals in her own life. Her mother made sure they arrived late and left early for Sam's father’s funeral. And then a few months ago…

“You two are very close,” she blurted out. It was a statement, a question, and mostly just a way to get Kate to keep talking.

“Best friends since childhood,” Kate said and she wore one of the most genuine smiles Sam had seen on her. “We kissed once, and afterward I punched him in the face. We’ve been inseparable ever since. Which might be the best and worst part about our friendship.”

“What do you mean?”

This time Kate took her time before replying. Her smile was gone.

“Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to leave Shadyside and see the world. But there was nothing that could have convinced Simon to leave his mom. He missed a chance to work at a restaurant in Paris, I missed my chance to see the world, but we have each other. We have each other and ninety-nine percent of the time it feels like the right choice.”

The remaining one percent of the time hung in the air of the chapel so heavily it was almost palpable.

“What about now?” Sam asked, not without a good amount of hesitation.

The meaning of her question was obvious. Simon wasn’t tethered to Shadyside anymore. However, there was no answer from the housekeeper. Kate chuckled sadly, completely dismissing the idea of grabbing a bag of her best clothes and her best friend’s hand and moving away to Paris any day now. Instead, she stood up and threw the little box of matches for Sam to catch.

“What?” Why?” The au pair looked back and forth between the matches and Kate.

“Light a candle,” Kate replied. She noticed the confusion in Sam’s face, but the au pair, unknowingly, carried her heart, broken and hopeful at once, on her sleeve. “Dead people, regrets, protection, good luck,” Kate said while methodically fixing the wrinkles on her red skirt, checking her ponytail, and mindlessly passing her hand over the back of her neck. “Everything counts.”

Sam stayed silent. She watched Kate walk out of the chapel and then she moved toward the candles. She moved almost automatically, lighting up the first match, but then she couldn’t bring herself to actually light the candle. The small flame burned bright for a second, highlighting the sadness in Sam’s blue eyes, but she let it die before reaching for a candle. }

Eventually, Sam decided to light up a new match and light up a single candle at random. Not for dead people, and not for her attempts at forgetting about them, but for the time she had wasted trying to please people that did nothing but hurt her for so long.

On the way out of the chapel, Sam made the mistake of glancing at the windows. Of course he was still there. He would never leave her, would he? She had seen him angry at her more times than she could count, but never like that. That expression of outstanding disgust and fury was forever etched in Sam’s memory of him. He was just a shadow, he was pure darkness in the shape of a man she once knew. But Sam had to look away and walk as fast as she could away from him, fearing that any day now his image would definitely leave the restrained space of reflective surfaces and finally kill her, like she had killed him.

“Dinner… is served!” Simon announced with a flourish.

Simon and Deena dropped several bags on the kitchen table and they chuckled when everyone else eagerly jumped forward to look at the contents spilling on the table.

“There’s nothing like an absurd amount of junk food to fix all your problems,” he smiled proudly at the scene in front of him. All the people closest to him with smiles on their faces, exchanging a warm meal and easy conversation. His smile turned just nostalgic enough, thinking about his mother, the woman who taught him that lesson. She used to fix all problems with food. She had special meals for every sickness, mended broken hearts with each person’s favorite food, and she celebrated every occasion with big feasts. So far, Simon couldn’t say she had ever failed.

Simon, Deena, Kate, Sam, Josh, and Constance, sat down at the table. They got started with their junk food feast. Everything was still hot, smelled amazing, and tasted even better. Behind Simon and the teenagers, stood Ruby Lane. She tilted her head one side and the other, observing the scene in front of her. Her slightly blurred expression showed confusion, then a hint of sadness, and finally settled in something surprisingly close to affection. Eating. Food. Good company. Friends. She distantly could remember the feeling of it all. The details had left her a while ago. But if she focused hard enough on the smiles of these strangers, she almost felt right at home, almost felt like she belonged with them, almost let herself believe that if she wanted to she could reach out, take a seat, enjoy a meal with them… Almost, almost but not quite.

At the table, conversation flowed easily. Everyone was enjoying the food, and the adults all had one or two beers with the meals, perhaps a little more. Despite the emotionally heavy day, the group was in a surprisingly good mood. A consequence of growing up in Shadyside, maybe. They were either the best or the worst at coping with loss. The trick was not knowing how to tell the difference between both extremes.

Sam was a little concerned about the fact that the pair of teenagers looked so refreshed and so much like themselves after attending a funeral. Maybe they just needed the time away from the manor. She just hoped it would last.

While all of them discussed favorite meals and comfort food, Simon finally explained his choice of food for the day. “This is actually from the first place where I worked,” he confessed.

“Really?” Sam asked, leaning forward with a kind smile.

“Yeah. My mom got me the job,” he added. “She was the sweetest woman, but she could be scary as shit if she wanted to. She convinced them to give a part-time job to little old me. I was barely fifteen.”

“Tell her why you got fired,” Kate said, raising a playful eyebrow in his direction.

Simon rolled his eyes and picked up a couple of fries to throw in her direction. “For giving you free food you asshole!”

While all the others laughed, Kate gasped loudly and wore a nearly comically offended expression for a moment. It was her turn to roll her eyes and lean across Deena to look at Sam and explain, “This bitch throwing me food like a toddler? He got fired for being too talented for a food truck, basically.”

“Ah, whatever,” Simon laughed. He ran a hand through his messy blonde hair and pushed through his unexpected shyness to explain. “The food was good, but it was also too slow and expensive. Got me fired but got me noticed.” He stopped then, and tried to make it seem natural and not at all like he was holding back information. Which made Sam think about the missed opportunity across the ocean that Kate had mentioned earlier that day. “But!” Simon went on, with extra cheerfulness on his voice to hide who knows how many things anymore, “now I get to happily cook for all of you, ungrateful little shits that you are.”

“Hey!” Deena protested, stopped a second to swallow her food and continued. “I am grateful. Dude, I love your food. I survived eating this cheap shit almost exclusively for like a decade. I’m in heaven when you cook actual food.”

“Do you just love me for my food?” Simon pouted dramatically.

Sam watched them banter with a smile. Before she could stop herself, she was joining the conversation. “This actually reminds me of my childhood in Shadyside,” she said, holding up a burger in her hand.

“What?” Kate smirked, “You don’t have these bad boys in Sunnyvale?”

Sam laughed along with everyone else, she was starting to feel just the slightest bit tipsy, and this time decided not to mention the fact that Kate hadn’t even taken a bite of her burger yet. However, she hadn’t managed to shake herself from the weird, nostalgic mood that had had a hold of her the entire day. One moment she was there, seated at the kitchen table in Shadyside Manor, and with the blink of an eye, she was back at an expensive Sunnyvale restaurant.

She had been more than a little tipsy back then, she had needed the courage in any way she could find it. During the meal, a hundred different memories of her mother’s cruel comments on her weight and eating habits passed through her mind. She didn’t push them away though, she focused on them, because it hadn’t been just her mother, and she needed to focus on that pain and resentment. Because seated across from her was Peter. Peter, who had joined her mother in criticizing her. Peter, who never once defended her from his own mother. Peter, who had hurt her emotionally and physically more than anybody else.

Peter, who refused to lose an argument, who didn’t know when to let it go, and would never let her go. They didn’t get to the altar, but since their first kiss, he had assumed only death would take her away from him. He didn’t consider he’d go first, he might have even dreamed of a second or third wife, and one or two times he had been close to being responsible for that sudden end. Instead, it was their anniversary, they were both drunk, Sam admitted more than she had meant to, he was yelling at her in the middle of the street, threatening to kill her, taking a step backward when she reached for him, and then there were the truck’s headlights…

“Oh, yeah,” Sam blurted out, and hoped they wouldn’t notice the way her voice was trembling. “But in Sunnyvale, we add a little caviar on top of the burgers.”

Sam was surprised to see everyone laugh at what she had considered a pretty lame joke. It was a beautiful sound. She didn’t think she’d ever been surrounded by the incredible number of five people that genuinely liked her for who she really was. Josh even choked a little on the food he had been chewing, and Simon slapped his back, maybe a little harder than necessary. It made Kate and Constance laugh even harder. Those were things that Sam noticed, but her focus was actually on the woman beside her. Deena had laughed with all of them, of course. But the soft smile she was directing at Sam was something completely different, something she couldn’t even compare to anything else she had ever experienced.

When the conversation hit an inevitable lull, Constance was the first one to notice the way Simon’s mood dimmed, his shoulders slumped and he stopped eating, just fumbling with the papers on the table. There was a lot a person could say to a friend that just lost their mother, then there was what a moody teenager with an exceptionally tragic life could offer.

“My aunt was a shit cook,” Constance blurted out. “These burgers were all she got for me when my parents died. But I couldn’t eat it… I thought I would never eat again, which would be okay because that would kill me and I’d be reunited with…” She shrugged, and everyone else at the table listened to her intently, rendered speechless not just by the unexpected confession, but because of her expression, neutral without being insensitive, sincere without being very emotional. “But then,” Constance continued, adding the smallest smiles here and there. “It was like I could hear my mom yelling at me for not eating. Cindy Berman could be a pain in the ass in case you didn’t know. But that feeling… it was like she was right there with me, beautiful and annoying and never gone entirely.”

For a moment, nobody knew what to say. Simon, although his eyes were glassy, smiled brightly at her. “You do not act as if you’re listening to your mom,” he said.

“Hey! I ignored her when she was alive too, she gets it,” Constance rolled her eyes playfully. “But the point is I know that we have to keep eating, and keep living… for them. Don’t we?”

“Yeah, we do,” Simon agreed.

He took a deep breath to get a hold of his emotions and raised his beer bottle to the center of the table, where Kate, Deena, and Sam joined him in a toast for the living. Constance joined in enthusiastically with a can of soda, but Josh didn’t move a muscle.

“Hey, do we have some more beer?” Josh asked a moment later. “I could really use one.”

“Uh, no. Not at fifteen you can’t,” Deena replied immediately. She tensed on her seat.

The teenage boy rolled his eyes and focused on the au pair across the table from him. “Miss Fraser, do you think I could have a beer?” He asked with a sharp, charming smile that looked just a little off on the edges.

“I… agree with your sister, Josh,” Sam replied carefully. She didn’t want to cross any boundaries, but she was also responsible for the teenagers.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve gone without a real drink?!”

“I remember my first beer,” Kate interrupted him, reminiscing with an easy smile on her face. “It was my first time babysitting Constance, and then Christine thought it would be a good idea to give me a beer.”

“My mom hated beer,” Sam said. “She used to say one sip could mean I’ll end up in hell.” Then she took a hearty sip, thinking of her mother and the thousand suffocating rules she’d pressed upon Sam’s shoulders her entire life.

“Well,” Deena smirked, “You did end up in Shadyside so…”

While most of them laughed, Josh’s face contorted into an expression of deep frustration and rage until he didn’t look like himself anymore. “Why the hell am I being controlled by a bunch of dykes?!” He slammed his hand on the table furiously.

But just as soon as the words left his mouth, Sam and Deena jumped out of their chairs. Deena was his sister, and maybe Sam was just the au pair, but while Deena was so angry that she couldn’t even get any words out, Sam got ahead of her.

“That language, and that attitude, and beyond unacceptable, Josh. You are going to your room right now. No discussion. Did you hear me?” Sam said, her voice firm, unwavering, and her stance perfectly commanding.

All eyes were on her, but she was staring straight at Josh. He didn’t budge, he was stronger than most teenagers Sam had ever worked with, but she was even stronger. She didn’t hesitate at all. She glanced quickly at Constance, and the girl, despite intensely rolling her eyes, stood up and walked toward Josh. She not-so-gently grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the chair. Slowly, and with Josh throwing threatening looks at Sam over his shoulder, they walked out of the kitchen. After excusing herself, Sam followed them. She didn’t look back to see the impressed looks her friends were exchanging, pleasantly surprised by that side of her.

“Hey, Sunnyvale,” Deena said as soon as she caught sight of Sam walking down the stairs of the manor to the foyer where she was waiting for her.

Sam reached the end of the stairs and noticed that Deena was wearing a jacket, and holding Sam’s own jacket in her hands. But when the au pair reached out to grab it, Deena pulled back.

“Ah, ah. Not yet,” Deena said. She was smiling, but there was a hint of worry in her eyes. “You only get warmth in exchange for information.” Her words made the au pair chuckle, and Deena instantly felt herself relax a little. “How did it go with my asshole brother?” She finally asked.

“Um, it was fine, I think,” Sam replied. “He… Well, I think he’s embarrassed. He probably regrets it a lot. He’s acting almost as if he doesn’t even remember what he said.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” Deena frowned. She felt pretty embarrassed about the entire incident, and she was so not looking forward to having that conversation with Josh, who apparently had turned into some kind of monster in the place of her sweet younger brother. “I’m sorry about it.”

Sam shrugged and attempted a smile. “If it helps, I think he really listened when I explained that we all just want what’s best for him, and having that makes him luckier than most of us.”

The gardener nodded thoughtfully. “I agree with you there,” she said as she held open Sam’s jacket to help her put it on. Deena was careful, and her hands were confident, but at the same time, she barely touched Sam’s body as she helped her. The only thing she couldn’t help herself from doing was standing perhaps a little closer than necessary. Enough to feel her heart skip a beat when Sam’s blonde hair brushed her cheek, and the smell of some sweet-scented shampoo filled her senses. “But also, how depressing is that for us?” Deena said, stepping back from Sam. The au pair laughed and turned around to stare a Deena, who offered her a hand and said, “Come on, let’s go be depressing outside for a change.”

#helloo please support my attempt at sad spooky fic #fear street #sameena #sam x deena #sam fraser #deena johnson #deena x sam #fear street fanfiction #my fic

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bellaslilpapercut · 3 years

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Eclipse reread part 2! This is gonna cover a lot of chapters because I forgot to include stuff from chapters 4, 5, and 6 in part 1 (in my defense your honor, this book is very grating to read). Awayyy we go:

1. so chapters 4-6 really could have been one chapter tbh since the plot is: Bella ditches work at Newton’s Outfitters to hang with Jake and then writes some graduation invites with Angela. She pushes her rusty old behemoth as fast as it can go through driving rain but then hangs outside with Jake the whole time so I don’t really know where the rain went. She also manages to hear Jake gasp through her closed car door! Super sonic! Anyway, Bella insists that Edward is a good guy, Jake makes Bella hold his hand, Jake explains imprinting (yuck we can skip that), and then Edward drives threateningly past Bella while she’s on her way to Angela’s house. Angela reminds Bella that, at his core, Edward is a teen boy who is Totally Jealous of how Ripped and Sexy her 16 year old best friend is. Then Alice kidnaps Bella. Fun times!

2. During the imprinting convo it becomes very apparent that Meyer thinks the worst thing that can happen to a girl is getting broken up with. Somehow Leah got the “worst end” of the Sam/Emily/Leah fiasco despite Sam turning into a “monster” and Emily getting literally mauled in the face. What’s worse is later in the book, during the “Legends” chapter, when Bella wonders if Leah thinks Emily’s scars are a form of “justice.” Yea, Bella, that’s justice.

3. I love this Rosalie quote but hate the entirety of they way meyer writes her story. Others have mentioned it before but Meyer writes Rose's dialogue there as if Rose is an author and not like...a person telling a story. An easy fix would be to format Rosalie's story "flash back" style rather than have her narrate all the way through. Then you can include all the superfluous details of exactly what everyone's voice sounded like and all the excessive dialogue tags you want.

I also Violently Abhor this quote here:

Yea, meyer, the Hot Girl hates your self-insert because her stupid ass brother didn't have the hots for her. It just reads like weird middle school revenge fantasy "I only hated you because you were so Special!!!" Sure, sure. Also "all those females!" People don't talk like that @stephanie

4. I do love the scene when Bella “escapes” from Alice with Jake (I don’t know why i put escape in quotes, Alice could definitely murk Bella) but then that whole adventure ends with Jake telling Bella he’d rather she die than turn into a vampire. And yeah, fair buddy, but also you’ve known Bella for a long time. This should not be a surprise to you at all even a little bit. a) she mentioned it before, b) you knew she would never get over Edward even if your plan in NM had worked, and c) you’ve known that she’s fully obsessed with the Cullen’s since you started hanging out with her again. The last time you guys hung out she went on an impassioned rampage about how lovely and good and fantastic Edward is (footage not found) I really don’t know why you’re surprised that this hard-headed girl is prepared to commit to vampirism for him. She is not normal lmfao.

5. The legends chapter. Oh boy. Stephanie, Meyer, Smeyer. Honestly it might have been less offensive if she had just made up a whole new tribe to give these backstories to, for all that they have in common with real Quileute legends but actually that would still be offensive and terrible anyway. I don’t know how to describe this adequately but if you’ve ever seen G.I. Joe’s portrayal of indigenous people that’s exactly what meyer made Old Quil and Billy’s dialogue sound like. Just absolutely dripping with Mystical Native/ Magical Native trope from the content to the tone. https://mthg.org/ Because it can’t be plugged enough.

6. The legends chapter ends with this Wuthering Heights quote:

I have no qualms with it's inclusion, if you really want to push the Edward is Heathcliff and Bella is Cathy agenda, I don't believe it but fine, whatever. But those last two paragraphs are such a dumb way to end a chapter. Every chapter ending should make the reader want to turn the page: this makes me want to shut the book (actually I did take a long break after this lmfao). Anyway, just end the quote on "drank his blood," bold those three words, and end the chapter there. Don't go back and say "the three words that stood out were... Anyway it could have fallen to any page I believe in coincidence teehee!!" That's just annoying.

7. Okay guys I hate to say it but Edward does get a lil bit of ~character growth after the first few chapters. He comes home after having Bella kidnapped (she decides not to be angry, surprise surprise) and is all "so I've been thinking about it and you're right my Beloved Angel Face or whatever, please hang out with Jacob but also wear a helmet on your motorcycle my Beloved Dumb Idiot or whatever" (paraphrase). And he also says this in chapter 12:

Which is like, man I hate when I agree with Edward but I agree with Edward here. Now I know from MS that he only wants Bella to stay human because he's creating an Unfolding Drama in his head but this bit of dialogue is really sweet. And it's funny that he thought Bella didn't want to marry him because she just wanted to use him for immortality but it's also a Dark Reminder that he's literally only romantic with her because he can't read her mind and can't tell that she's just as obsessed with his looks as the other Teen Girls TM.

8. uuuh Jasper’s Backstory Time. This is so infuriating to read for so many reasons. So we know that smeyer got Jasper’s name from a confederate memorial/ listing (from a New Moon Q&A but the link isn’t secure so I can’t share) so I know that his backstory was always meant to be Confederate Soldier which makes everything else about his characterization just baffling. Again, he was the only Cullen that was genuinely kind to Bella besides Carlisle for the entire first book and he’s still incredibly kind during Eclipse (which is another issue I have though because no one mentions again that Jasper tried to eat Bella and they stand close to each other and hang out and Bella’s never like “this is scary, this dude tried to kill me” but i digress). The point is: smeyer knew he was going to be a confederate from book 1. She never addresses that this was bad, she never has Jasper mention that he regrets his role in the war, he is the only Cullen that’s actually capable of empathizing with humans anymore (Carlisle cares but I would not categorize him as empathetic), it just... None of these pieces fit together. This is a fraught and bloody history that smeyer throws in with no thought to how it might alienate black readers (though tbh she constantly emphasizes “white beauty” throughout the series so I doubt she cares) and the editors don’t question it either. No one, at any point in time, said “Hey, steph, you know confederates fought for slavery, right?” Every black american deserves reparations. White women and men who glorify the civil war should be the first to pay up.

9. I’m gonna jump back to chapters 9 & 10 here (target & scent, respectively) to say: no tension is being effectively built. I get it, someone stole your clothes. You’re annoyed because you have nothing to wear and Victoria is scary. But where is she? Where is the volturi? Move it along, please! This is one of the challenges of 1st person narrative because the author is stuck in the eyes of, usually, the person who knows the least. Meyer is not a talented enough author to make this interesting. Not to bring up THG again but Suzanne Collins really knew how to work 1st person. Everything that Katniss asserts with certainty throughout the series gets either confirmed or denied by the narrative, keeping it interesting. She assumes the worst of the people around her so we’re pleasantly surprised when people violate those assumptions. We’re kept on edge by how little Katniss knows and SC never gifts Katniss with more knowledge than she could be expected to have. Bella is constantly gifted with knowledge and her assumptions are rarely proven wrong. You can dig into the canon a little bit more, read the lexicon and the guide, and find all the examples of Bella being unreliable or making wrong assumptions. But within the narrative she is rarely incorrect. She doesn’t get opportunities to grow out of her false assumptions (while Edward does, at least in Eclipse). So to keep the Victoria debacle interesting, smeyer has to plant seeds like- during these two chapters- Bella thinking of Laurent and Victoria while the cullens discuss who could have been in Bella’s room. That just doesn’t cut it for me.

This is hella long and I’m only halfway through the book. I probably should split the second half into two parts as well but based on how talented smeyer is at stretching out the mundane, especially just before the climax, I probably wont need to.

#eclipse reread #saga reread #the twilight saga #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #long post

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thatsbucknasty · 4 years

Text

she used to be mine (v) waitress au

summary: Inspired by the broadway musical. Y/N Beck is a pie baking force to be reckoned with. She’s pregnant with her lazy ass husband, Quentin Beck’s baby. As everything around her turns upside down, Doctor James Buchanan Barnes charms his way into her life.

pairing: Y/N x Bucky

I will put some warnings in the tags cause I don’t want to spoil everybody but I feel like there are sensitive topics in this one, so go ahead and check the tags!

chapter 5: you will still be mine

You’d think that having an unplanned pregnancy, an unemployed lazy husband and an exhausting job that underpays would be just enough to realize you’re having a bad year. But now, on top of that, said unemployed lazy husband’s truck broke down and I just can’t afford to fix it right now, he’s asking for money cause he already took it to the shop without consulting with me, and it’s not like I can just give him my savings.

He was out all night yesterday, drinking I assume. I have to tell him I’m pregnant. And also, I have to walk to work and to my doctor’s appointment later today, because I can only afford one bus ride per day and usually it would be the one back home from work cause Quentin would drive me in the morning. Life’s just fine and dandy isn’t it?

I’ve seen those videos where women will make a big deal showing their spouse the little pregnancy test and record their reaction. It usually involves tears and hugs and all things pretty, and I can’t help but feel like I’m never gonna have that kind of life. The one with balloons and cake and glitter for the gender reveal party and the baby shower. And I’ve never even wanted those things, but I’m pretty sure Quentin’s reaction will be the farthest from tears and hugs and all things pretty.

“Morning, Y/N, you’re late again. It’s the third time this month”. Sam looks angry at me from the counter, at least he’s back to his grumpy self but I feel bad nonetheless.

“I am so sorry Sam, I swear I’m not doing it on purpose, it’s just that I had to walk and you know 4th street’s closed and-

“Hey, calm down girl. I understand. I know y’all think I’m rude and moody all the time but I just like teasing ya... if you ever need help I can give you a ride in the morning”. Great, now even Sam is pitying me.

“And I know what you’re thinking. ‘He’s pitying me’”, he rolls his eyes at me, “but I care about you girls despite all of our bickering. I’m just offering my help cause we’re pals, aren’t we?” He offers me a cup of coffee and I decline but sit down on the stool.

“Why aren’t you drinking coffee Y/F/N?” Oh shit.

“I uh, I-” Shit, shit, shit.

“Y/N?, tell me what’s going on?”

“Fuck, Sam, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. We are pals, we are! But I didn’t want Nick to know cause I thought he might fire me. I’m pregnant”. I finally sigh and hide my face in my hands, trying hard not to cry in front of him. “God, this is embarrassing”.

“Hey! There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. I understand, actually a lot of things make sense now. The girls know, don’t they?” I hum my answer, my face still in my palms.

“Have you told Quentin yet?” I shake my head and look down at the orange juice he puts in front of me instead of the usual coffee, huh, he can be nice when he really wants to.

“You’re in a real conundrum, aren’t you?”

“Yes I am. He hasn’t been working for the past three months. He didn’t come home last night and we fight almost every day. I don’t know when I’ll start showing but my uniform barely fits and my feet are swollen from walking here. It’s just a matter of time until he notices. I can barely afford my doctor’s appointments. Oh! And I might have a tiny crush on him”.

“Your doctor? Wasn’t he married?”

“How did you- nevermind. Well, he’s getting a divorce, but I am married so nothing’s gonna happen either way”.

“Jesus, I wish I could do something to help you. My offer on the ride still stands, okay?”

“Thank you, Sammy. You’re very kind but knowing my husband, he would never allow it. He’d rather I walk with my swollen feet everyday and I don’t wanna fight with him. I’m just so tired”.

“Y/N, I know this ain’t my place but, why are you still with him?”

“I honestly don’t know anymore. I keep making up reasons when Nat tells me to ‘leave his ass’ but I can’t think of any more good ones”.

The diner was very quiet today, most Tuesdays it is because Al’s Pancake World has a discount. Sam swore he’d keep the secret about my little crush. I just don’t want Nat to have more material for insisting I should leave Quentin right now. And now I’m walking over to the doctor’s office.

The air tonight is so crisp and I appreciate how summer is about to end. Fall has always been my favorite time of the year. I can’t wait for the diner to smell like pumpkin pie every day. Speaking of pie, I brought Bucky some leftovers.

“Good evening, Y/N. Oh gosh, you brought pie?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

“I’m starting to think I should give you something back, you really didn’t have to”.

“Oh don’t worry about it, it’s just some leftover ‘Kick in the pants pie’, I know, the name’s a little too aggressive but I had a bad week, don’t judge”.

“No one’s judging here. But care to explain the name?”

“I just- I had a fight with my husband earlier, and whenever I wish I could do something that’s not very nice, I just make it into a pie, you know… to express my feelings in a non-violent way”.

“So you wish you could kick your husband’s crotch but you made a pie instead, got it”. It’s insane and we both laugh about it for a minute and he leans back into the exam table. This is nice, having a friend who I can openly talk about my issues with. Wait, are we friends?

“Do you and your husband fight a lot?”

“Um… why are you asking me this?”

“Oh, nothing, it’s just- stress is bad for the baby and, I don’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay”, I lean into the exam table next to him, close to him, “we do, we fight a lot. He drives me nuts, and I’m a pain in his ass. That’s just us I guess”.

“I get it. I was a pain in Dot’s ass too”, he scoffs out a cynical laugh and looks at me, “guess she couldn’t deal with that anymore”.

“Can I ask what happened?”

“You can, but I wouldn’t know how to answer. She just got up and left one day. Said she got an internship in New York and we weren’t working anymore, so- she didn’t even give me a real reason, nor a chance to work things out”.

“I’m sorry, Bucky”.

“It’s fine. We always wanted different things. I was raised in a small town and when I went to Chicago for college I was miserable. But I met Dot and I thought life in a big city wouldn’t be so hard if I had her by my side. But then she wanted to do even bigger”.

“Like New York?”

“Yeah. I’m not cut out for that. I love this little town of yours, always did”.

“Oh, so you’ve been here before?”

“Yeah, my grandparents lived here and I would come visit for the holidays. You actually remind me of my grandma”.

“Gee, thanks?” He throws his head back laughing.

“No, I mean because she used to bake like, ten different pies for Thanksgiving. She loved baking. And she was also a little-” He eyes me sheepishly and makes a face.

“A little what, huh?” I smack his arm and try not to laugh at his stupid, cute antics.

“Well, a little strong willed?”

“That’s a euphemism for stubborn”.

“Yeah, it is”. He has the audacity to smirk at me and I can’t help but smile because he says it in a way that feels like a compliment.

Bucky finishes the examination and tells me he’d like to see me again in three weeks. He opens the door for me and we do a little dance of who gets out first. We laugh at each other’s clumsiness and I feel like a teenager. He smells nice, like always. I say goodbye and I find myself hoping the next three weeks go by quickly. I glance at my watch and notice the time. Fuck, has it really been two hours? My appointments usually last thirty minutes tops.

“Hi, Y/N”. Fuck, he’s here already?

“Jesus, Quentin, you startled me. What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to see the game at Phil’s tonight”.

“Yeah? And I thought you were supposed to come home early, you said no extra shifts on Mondays”.

“I- I was-”

“Now don’t lie to me, cause I found your money! That’s right, I did! Why were you keeping money in the closet, huh? I took the money, paid Carl to fix the damn truck and drove over to Nick’s and you weren’t there. That angry redhead chick said you left early, so where, the fuck, were you?” He grabs an empty bottle of beer and throws it against the wall.

“Quentin. Stop it, you’re scaring me! Calm down!”.

“I won’t calm down until you tell me where you were!” He grabs another bottle and raises it above his head, aiming straight at me, I’m frightened and I don’t know what else to do but-

“I’m pregnant!”

Silence. Complete and utter silence. He lowers his arm along with the crystal bottle he’s holding. Tears cascade down my face silently and I can’t help them. I hate crying in front of Quentin but he truly scared me. He’s never been violent towards me. Sure he yells a lot but he never gets like this, and I’m sure he would’ve thrown that bottle at me if I hadn’t told the truth.

“Please say something”.

“You can’t be pregnant, Y/N, and if you are it isn’t mine”. He whispers and I don’t know if I heard him right. I’m at a loss for words for a few seconds.

“Why would you say such a thing? It is yours!”

“No it isn’t! I don’t want it!” He’s yelling again and his words break my heart. If I had the smallest belief that he actually cared for me, it’s gone.

“Quentin? Do you remember that night I went to the Stark’s party with you and we both got drunk? You were wearing your fancy blue shirt with the grey tie, and I had that red dress that you like. This baby is yours. And if you-”

“No, it isn’t! I said it isn’t, Y/N. I- I can’t do this with you, I can’t and I won’t!

“What are you talking about?!”

“You remember Alice? You met her at that party”.

“Right, mini skirt girl, I remember. What about her?”

“She and I-” He looks down at his feet and then back into my eyes and I see it.

“No”. My blood begins to boil. This bastard!

I feel a huge knot in my throat and I can’t breathe. All this time I’ve been grasping for something, anything. Clinging for this marriage to work. Feeling guilty about baking a stupid pie for my doctor, when he’s been sleeping with some girl who’s probably ten years younger than him?!

“No!” I grab the nearest object and throw it at him. And of course it’s a fucking pillow- “Get out! Out, I said! And don’t ever come back!” He’s backing down, opening the door and I yell at the top of my lungs, I don’t care if the neighbors hear me-

“That money you stole from me was for the doctor’s appointments and the hospital bills, I saved up all of that for this baby, your baby, alone! And you’re gonna pay me back! I kept a roof over your fucking head, paid for your fucking beers and you cheated on me? If you ever come near me or this baby I will kill you, you hear me?”

I grab his keys and put them on my apron’s pocket.

“And I’m keeping the stupid truck!”

He leaves, on foot, and just like that I’m a single mother.

“AH!”

What is this? The most terrifying pain strucks my pelvis and I feel a discharge in my underwear. No, no. Baby don’t do this. We are gonna be fine, you and I. I promise. Please. Don’t.

chapter 6: a soft place to land

a/n: pls reblog if you liked it c: and don’t kill me, I promise fluff is coming!

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shameaboutthedilettantism · 3 years

Text

Author Self Interview

Name: Shameaboutthedilettantism here, but Dilettantism on AO3 and FF.net (yeah, Dilettantism was already taken on Tumblr)

Fandoms: I've only written for ATLA but I also consider myself a pretty big fan/reader in Harry Potter & Buffy the Vampire Slayer, despite my complicated and mixed feelings about their creators.

Where do you post: here, FF.net, & AO3. I started writing last summer for kataang week because I had this idea that just wouldn't leave me alone. I posted it here and I don't think anyone read it, or possibly even saw it because I had opened my Tumblr account just before I posted the story. So I decided to post to FF.net because I did like my story a bit and was hoping someone else might. And then I got another idea and things just grew from there.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: Definitely The Only Way to Hold On with 64 faves and 97 follows on FF.net Interestingly, this one is NOT liked on AO3. The few comments I've had there are mixed, with a trend toward the displeased. *shrug* It does start out a bit rough, and I may have some regrets about the first chapter. But I am so excited about some things I have planned for the fic and it is not abandoned.

Favorite story you've written so far: Is it bad that it was essentially the first thing I ever wrote? I love Passion Put to Use. I feel like the idea that took hold of me and filled my head for weeks as I drove to work and while I washed dishes or folded laundry or swept floors (plus all those other mindless tasks adulthood requires, especially with 3 kids--yes, I have 3 kids) somehow made its way into words on a screen seamlessly.

Fic you were nervous to post: all of them? Okay, probably What Fate Decrees because I didn't know what kataang fans would think of the soulmate trope. It seems to mostly be a Zukka thing? But nobody said anything mean, so--Internet win!

How do you choose your titles: They're mostly phrases from poetry that I feel speaks to the fic. For example, The Only Way to Hold On is taken from the poem "Balance" by Alice Fogel because I feel like that's what the fic addresses--Aang, Katara, and Zuko's efforts to bring balance between the ways of the past/their past traumas and a hopeful future. Oh, and if you haven't read "I Am Not Yours" by Sara Teasdale, which gave me the title for "Not Lost in You," please read it because it gives me major kataang vibes!

Do you outline?: Only for longer pieces. I have a 25-chapter outline and timeline for The Only Way to Hold On. Heaven help me.

Complete: Who knows? I thought "Passion Put to Use" was complete for almost a year when I decided to add to it. But I feel pretty sure that "What Fate Decrees" and "Not Lost in You" are complete. Also, the piece I wrote for the 2021 kataang week prompt "height difference," which I haven't posted anywhere but Tumblr because a title eludes me.

Do you accept prompts: Maybe? I don't have a whole lot of writing time between a full-time job with a long commute and three kids, but if one really spoke to me I might try to do it justice. One of the future stories I talk about in the next question is from a prompt I saw on Tumblr.

Upcoming story you're most excited to write about: Well, the rest of The Only Way to Hold On primarily. But I've also started outlining a modern AU/band story and written a few bits that have me giggling.

Stories you're most excited to read: I'm always excited to see new kataang content because those two just don't get enough love.

Tagging: yeah, that social anxiety thing? It kinda keeps me from doing much more than sharing stuff I like and occasionally dropping fic, then running away to my real life where I already know everyone and feel comfortable. No offense intended.

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profoundnet · 4 years

Photo

Header by @cryptomoon and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis (and more!) on our Discord server!

The Masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in their entirety during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR AUGUST 2020!

Masterpost below the cut.

DragonSgotenks - DragonSgotenks

Getting to Know You (E, 9.1k)

When picking up his new company assigned laptop to work from home Castiel Novak meets IT tech Dean Winchester, who's a little flirty and a lot drop dead gorgeous. After Dean gives Castiel his phone number Castiel calls for help with his computer and Dean, well, Dean is VERY helpful.

Tags: TopCastiel/bottomDean, strangers to lovers, condoms, anal sex, meet-cute

one_more_offbeat_anthem - @one-more-offbeat-anthem - one_more_offbeat_anthem

A Barely Functioning Adult’s Guide to Beekeeping (T, 10.7k)

Dean Winchester and Cas Devereaux, seniors, are roommates and best friends. Cas is the president of the beekeeping club, and he eventually cajoles Dean into coming to a couple meetings. Meanwhile, Dean is struggling with his relationship with his estranged father, whether or not he’ll get to graduate, and the fact that he’s maybe, kinda-sorta, almost definitely in love with Cas. Pair those things with his lack of confidence, a sudden road trip home to Kansas, a nosy creative writing professor, and the fact that he might be drinking too much—Dean’s a wreck who believes he has no future. But he might be wrong.

Tags: College AU, First Kiss, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, the Impala, Angst and Fluff

Lovemuppet - @haybibiboi - lovemuppet

15x03 Where’s your head at? (T, 979 words)

Prompt: take a sad scene and try to make it sadder. 15x03: the breakup

Tags: angst, episode related

kitmistry - @kitmistry - Kitmistry

Stumble and Fall (E, 42k)

Castiel was raised to do one thing: serve his country, whether that was fighting a war or becoming an expert spy. But when his lover is charged with treason and executed Castiel defects. He has evidence that can destroy the KGB’s entire spy ring in New Mexico, he has names of scientists involved with atomic weapons who send information to the Soviets, and he won’t stop until he has revenge. Putting all his trust in the Americans, Castiel finds himself under the protection of U.S. Marshal Dean Winchester, who is too cocky and attractive for his own good, but at least seems to know what he’s doing. When a routine transfer to a safehouse goes horribly wrong, Castiel and Dean narrowly escape with their lives. With the Marshals compromised and Castiel being framed for murder, he and Dean are on the run from KGB and law enforcement alike. They have no one to trust except each other, and nowhere to go that their enemies can’t reach.

Tags: Cold War AU, Soviet Spy Castiel, US Marshal Dean Winchester, Enemies to Lovers, Suspense

latter-alice - @latter-alice - Latter-alice

pressing the issue (M, 2.2k)

"So," Dean shifts closer, "what's the big one?" It's obvious, and he isn't stupid. There's only one reason to ask this now. To press the issue. His answer is short, to the point. "You." The night before they leave to fight Chuck, Cas and Dean keep each other company.

Tags: First Kiss, Confessions, Cas is stressed

Sweet Insanity (G, 709 words)

"So," Dean draws the word out as he gives Cas a once over. "Did it hurt?" End of series fluff

Tags: fluff, first kiss

Maleyah - @maleyah-givemetomorrow

“Dean” (SFW)

A Cas drawn for Ineffable Impala's DTIYS. Sparked a companion piece Dean.

Tags: Destiel, Mobster!Cas, DTIYS submission

“Heya Cas” (NSFW)

Companion Dean, who may or may not be praying to Cas, while he's busy.

Tags: Destiel, DTIYS submission

Kait - @kingbirdkathy - kait

Don’t leave me (SFW-ish)

"Don't leave me.“

Tags: things that Dean can never say out loud, hint of butt

reverse destiel (SFW)

reverse destiel DIY, original by gabester_sketch.

Tags: Hunter Cas, Angel Dean

smut time (NSFW)

just some smut

Tags: bottom dean, riding

MandalaRose - @a-mandala-rose - MandalaRose

The Shots You Don’t Take (E, 57k)

Still nursing the tatters of a broken heart and trying desperately to stave off the terror of his impending graduation, college senior Cas Novak decides it’s time to blow off a little steam. Not just any hook-up will do, however. The last thing Cas needs right now is a distraction. On the lookout for someone he can enjoy a steamy night of passion with before leaving them behind entirely, Cas thinks he’s found exactly what he needs in cocky university hockey star and well-known playboy Dean Winchester. Dean is gorgeous, doesn’t date, and is the singular most infuriating person Cas has ever met. He’s the perfect one night stand...that is, until Dean decides he wants an instant replay of what was supposed to be a one-time event. Will Cas’ offer of friends, sans benefits, convince the arrogant love ’em and leave ’em hockey defenseman to find an easier score? Or will Dean wear down Cas’ defenses and lure the sexy nerd in the dorky trenchcoat back to his bed?

Tags: Hockey AU, College AU, Hate to Love, One Night Stands, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Injury/Hospital, Briefly described (non-graphic) violence, Panic Attack, Fake/Pretend Relationship, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED.

nickelkeep - @nickelkeep - nickelkeep

Sometimes You’re the Sea (M, 10.2k)

When a freak storm overtakes the Lebanon, and Dean is knocked overboard, he's considered lost at sea. That is, until Dean wakes up onshore, with the bluest eyes he had ever seen watching over him. In a matter of days, Dean's world is turned upside down. He's falling in love with the man who saved him. A stranger appears, demanding his hand in marriage. And Dean's pretty sure that bird just called him a Dumbass.

Tags: AU - 1700s, AU - Fantasy, AU - Creatureverse, Sailor!Dean, Cecaelia!Cas, Dean POV, Little Mermaid Elements

Dog Days are Over (M, 7.8k)

It was cold. Dean shivered and reached for a blanket before snapping awake. He wasn't in his bed. He wasn't at home. For fuck's sake, Dean was still shifted. He whimpered, hating how pathetic he sounded, and tried to push himself up onto all fours. As Dean tried to put weight on his front left leg, he yelped out in pain and fell back onto the cage’s cold metal floor. He was either at the shelter or at the Vet. And he was so screwed.

Tags: AU - Modern, AU - Creatures Exist, Animal Shifter!Dean, Animal Injury, Hurt!Dean, Hurt/Comfort

FriendofCarlotta - @friendofcarlotta - FriendofCarlotta

A Fear of Falling (E, 40k)

After his partner’s tragic death, Dean Winchester resigns from San Francisco PD to work as a private investigator. Dean’s first case is a make-or-break opportunity: tailing the youngest brother of powerful shipping magnate Nick Novak. Castiel Novak, estranged from his family by choice, lives a quiet life 30 miles north of the city. His lonely but peaceful existence comes to a rapid end when he’s drawn into a plot to fake his brother’s death. As Dean and Castiel’s paths cross and they grow closer, the noose of a dangerous conspiracy tightens around them. Will they discover the truth before it’s too late?

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Private Investigator Dean Winchester, Accountant Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Discussions of Past Suicide, Discussions of Past Drug Abuse, Minor Character Death, Inspired by Vertigo (1958), Acrophobia, Angst with a Happy Ending

Stranger Things Do Happen (T, 852 words)

Dean invites Cas to experience the human ritual of watching horror movies to get ready for Halloween. Cas soon realizes that watching scary movies with Dean may come with unexpected... opportunities.

Tags: Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker, Movie Nights in the Dean Cave, Getting Together, Dean Winchester Has a Sexuality Crisis, Gratuitous References to 70s and 80s Horror Movies

Ahurston - ahurston

Yarrow, Lilac, and Foxglove (E, 10.4k)

Dean, Cas, and the magical garden down the road.

Tags: Fluff but give it feelings, domesticity, post-season 15, explicit sexual content, established relationship

allmystars - @allmystars-i - allmystars

Feels Like Nothing (G, 700 words)

Newly Human Castiel feels the weight of human existence for the first time. Dean is there to get him through.

Tags: Canon Universe, Human Castiel, Depressed Castiel, Supportive Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Holding Hands, Hopeful Ending

sketching-fox - @sketching-fox

The Black Trenchcoat (SFW)

Artworks done for the fic “The Black Trenchcoat”, written by spnsmile in our partnership on spncanonbigbang!

Tags: winged cas, kisses, fic art. Accompanied by fic by @spnsmile.

Endellion - Endellion

If Tomorrow Never Comes (E, 1.4k)

Dean promised Cas wouldn't die a virgin and he's going to keep his promise.

Tags: Bottom Dean, Top Castiel, anal sex, anal fingering

What We Want and What We Need (E, 1.3k)

Cas is angry, Dean is sorry. They go to the bar's bathroom to work it out.

Tags: Angry sex, Top Dean, Bottom Castiel, anal sex, spit as lube

writerposer - @writerposer - writerposer

Croat-Ville (E, 27k)

When Castiel stumbles into the Winchester's survivor camp, one of the few safe havens left after the Croatoan virus ravaged the earth, he had thought he lost everything. What he found there, who he found, would change his life, and maybe the world.

Tags: Endverse, Age Difference, Canon-Typical Violence, Time Skip

Destielshipper4Cas - @destielshipper4cas - Destielshipper4Cas

Fake Bite, Real Love (M, 2.7k)

To show his ex that he has moved on, Cas wants to fake a claiming bite on his neck. Painting it on doesn’t work, but luckily, his best friend and long-term crush Dean steps up to the task. Keeping a lid on his feelings is getting difficult, however, when the alpha is nibbling on his mating gland.

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Best Friends, Idiots in Love, Omega Castiel, Alpha Dean

Shadowkat83 - Shadowkat83

Drowning in Guilt (T, 4k)

Bot Prompt: Dean is having another slice of pizza; Cas is polishing his angel blade; Sam is at the library Summary: When Sam discovers a case of people drowning after leaving the local bar. They head to check it out, what they didn't expect was to lose Dean to the creature. Now Cas and Sam need to find Dean before its too late.

Tags: monster of the week, angst, flirting, jealously, hurt Dean, feeling realization, two parts, confession of feelings

goldenraeofsun - @goldenraeofsun - goldenraeofsun

A Thousand Lies (E, 73k)

Dean Winchester is the best con artist in the continental US. Conscripted into the life after a stupid mistake as a teenager, he works for a man only known as the Lightbringer. He specializes in the marriage con, tricking his marks into falling in love with him and bolting after the honeymoon with everything they own. But the morning before his meticulously planned meet-cute with his newest assignment, he runs into an adorably clueless accountant named Cas in a coffee shop, and Dean’s entire view on life implodes.

Tags: con artist Dean Winchester, accountant Castiel, mutual pining, slow burn, Dean Winchester has self-worth issues, minor Dean/Crowley, angst with a happy ending

andimeantittosting - @andimeantittosting - andimeantittosting

Honour Undressed (E, 15.3k)

Among his friends, Castiel, Lord Milton is everyone’s confidant and, along with his trusted valet, the fixer of problems. But there is one secret Castiel has never shared: he is in love with his valet and has been for years. Born in the gutters, Dean Winchester was assigned as Castiel’s batman in the war, and when Castiel travelled home to take up his title, Dean followed him as his valet. To assist Castiel, Dean is not above a little burglary or blackmail. But the one thing he wants for himself is Castiel’s heart. When Castiel’s closest friends become the target of a blackmailer, certain truths come out. But while Dean determines to seduce Castiel, Castiel is adamant that he must resist, for if there is one rule a gentleman must follow, it is never to dally with his servant.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Regency, Class Differences, Blackmail, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending

starprincecas - @starprincecas - cuddlesandcas

Tell All The Truth, But Tell It Slant (T, 35k)

A cursed object gets touched, truths start coming out, and emotions reluctantly with them.

Tags: Canon Divergent - Post Season 8, Truth Spell, Bunker Fic, Human!Castiel, Drama, Humor

ArielAquarial - ArielAquarial

Hidden in the Sand (G, 5.4k)

Dean tries to drive down to Palo Alto as often as he can to spend quality time with Sam. This time, things are different. Not only is he secretly apartment hunting only a city away, but he's finally getting the chance to fish on the beach instead of a rickety old pier. Despite Sam's warning about stingrays, Dean insists everything will be fine and heads into the water without a care. What could go wrong?

Tags: Fluff, Cockblock Sam Winchester, Brotherly Bonding, Day At The Beach, Vacation, First Meetings, Flirting, Alternate Universe, Lifeguard Castiel (Supernatural)

spnsmile - @spnsmile - spnsmile

Destiel Prompt August Collection 2020 (G, 29k)

Collection of short Destiel stories prompt of August writer's month 2020

Tags: Romance, AU, fluff, established Castiel/Dean, First Meet, Cute-Meet, Profound Bond, Idiots in Love, Boys Kissing, Soul Mate

SKID (E, 24k)

Dean Winchester swore off love after getting dumped and fired from his job the same day. Badly drunk, he ended up balcony-hopping until a pair of hands snatched him inside a darkened room. But it's no hero, it's someone with deep voice whispering threats with a gun pointed at his back. Dean’s too drunk to deal with life but one good look at his hot assailant plus enough beer sold him to his accursed fate. The next morning, he found himself engaged to the most notorious leader of a powerful clan, Castiel Novak. Married life in the compound for a month was not as blissful so when he could, Dean fought for that freedom. Castiel relented and as Dean tried to put the pieces of his normal life together, getting a bike messenger job and dealing with pain in the ass clients, he now also needs to deal with the dangerous presence of his very jealous and very protective husband watching over him. Is his life ever going to get back to normal?

Tags: Alternate Universe-Gangster, MAFIA, Arranged Marriage, Romance, Hate/Love, Protectiveness, Established Relationship, Domestics, Hurt and Comfort, True love

Black Trenchcoat (E, 23k)

When Dean found out Castiel was working with Crowley to open Purgatory, he had no choice but to leave the angel in the ring of fire with nothing less than a broken heart. But instead of plotting against his friend, Dean takes a literal sense of fire vs fire. He decides to kill Castiel with love. Or that story where Dean convinces Castiel to look into their future to see if Castiel's plan against Raphael succeeds, only to find the world in chaos and an angel donning a black trenchcoat emerges to take Dean away.

Tags: Canon Divergence, Romance, Time Travel, Protectiveness, Possessive Castiel, season 6, Profound Bond, Kidnapped Dean Winchester, Wings, Kissing. Accompanied by art by @sketching-fox.

#profound monthly masterpost #august masterpost #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #member fic #member art

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fanfics4all · 4 years

Text

Not For Him

Request: Yes / No Hi please can I have a sweetpea x jones reader where I'm jughead & bettys little sister and I have an eating disorder and they all start picking up on it (jughead, betty, sweetpea, fangs, fp, alice, toni, cheryl,veronica and archie) and my excuses of not eating & one day my mum (alice) asks me to eat breakfast with them all & I get upset about it and start to cry and I tell them its be cause of my boyfriend & how hes horrible to me and then sweetpea confesses his love for me & we get together Anon

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Sweet Pea x Fem!Jones!Reader

Word count: 1301

Warnings: ANOREXIA (Will not be tagging anyone because of the possible triggering content)

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your NickName

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

My family was a little weird. It started with my Dad, FP Jones and my Mom, Gladys Jones, my older brother, Jughead Jones, my little sister Jellybean Jones, and me. Then my Mother and sister left us and it was just me, my Dad, and my brother. But then they came back and we tried being a family again, it didn’t work out. Now my dad was married to Alice Cooper. So my sister was now Betty Cooper, my brother’s girlfriend, like I said weird family. But everyone was happy and no one in town really seemed to care. We all lived together and everything was pretty great actually, well all except my boyfriend. When we started dating he was so sweet to me, but then he started criticizing me and comparing me to other girls. He was always telling me how he wishes I was skinner like them. It got to me and now I have anorexia. It wasn’t that hard to hide from my family because we never really ate together anyway. They always assumed I ate before they got home and I didn’t need to deal with it. My friends were a different story, I was always making up excuses for not eating and they haven’t caught on yet.

I woke up in the morning and got ready for school. My stomach ached from not eating, but I pushed through the pain. I walked downstairs to see everyone getting ready to eat breakfast and my heart started beating faster.

“Y/N, come sit. We were just about to eat.” Alice said with a smile.

“I’m not really very hungry…” I lied.

“Come on honey, you need to eat breakfast.” My dad said.

“Yeah, don’t you know it’s the most important meal of the day?” Jughead said with a laugh and tears started blurring my vision. I can’t give into the hunger that’s screaming at me.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Betty asked, concerned.

“I-I’m fine. I’m just not hungry!” I insisted.

“What’s up with you?” Jellybean asked confused.

“I just said! I’m not hungry!” I said a little louder than needed. I felt tears fall down my face and I turned to run back up to my room, but someone grabbed my arm and stopped me. The person pulled me into them and I looked up to see my Dad looked down at me with worry in his eyes.

“What’s wrong honey?” He asked and I just shook my head. I was crying hard now and I couldn’t speak. It felt like everything was crashing down on me and I didn’t know what to do. He took me over to the couch and Betty came to sit on my other side. Everyone was in the living room now, all staring at me with concern and confusion.

“Just relax Y/N/N.” Jughead said as Betty rubbed my back. My Dad grabbed my hand and gently squeezed. I took a few deep breaths and managed to get myself under control.

“Tell us what’s wrong.” Alice said and I tried blinking away my tears.

“I-I just don’t want to eat…” I said.

“We got that, why?” Jellybean asked.

“JB!” My dad scolded her for her slight attitude.

“Sorry.” She said and I looked down at my hands.

“Leo is always comparing me to other girls…” I whispered.

“What?” Betty asked shocked.

“He’s always saying how he wishes I was skinner like them…” I said.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Jughead growled.

“You’re breaking up with that boy right now.” Alice said and took my phone. She sent him a text and broke up with him for me.

“But he’s right! I’m not like them.” I cried and my Dad pulled me close to him.

“Princess, you’re perfect. But if you want to lose weight you can’t do this to yourself, it’s dangerous. And you should only lose weight if you want to, not because someone else says you should.” He said and kissed my head.

“When was the last time you actually ate a real meal?” JB asked.

“I-I don’t know… Maybe a few months ago…” I answered.

“Get your ass to that table right now.” My Dad said, pulling me up with him. He sat me at the table and started piling my plate with food.

“Dad, you can’t expect her to eat all that right away…” Jughead said taking some off.

“He’s right, we need to ease her into eating normally again.” Betty said sitting down next to me. I looked at the food and my stomach felt like it hurt more.

“You’re not going to school today, I will be making you a doctors appointment.” Alice said and I sighed.

“Eat up.” Dad said.

As promised, Alice took me to the doctor. They measured my height and weight, checked my vital signs, some blood tests, they brought in a mental health specialist to talk to me for a bit, and finally did an x-ray just to be safe. Luckily they didn’t think I was bad enough to require hospitalization, but I did have to go to therapy until they thought I was better. It took most of the day and when we got home Jughead, Betty and JellyBean, were home with Sweet Pea. They all looked at me with such pity and I hated it. I just ran up to my room and shut my door.

After an hour someone knocked on my door. I ignored them, but they wouldn’t stop.

“Go away!” I called. I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone.

“Y/N, please open the door.” Sweet Pea’s voice rang from the other side and I sighed. I got up and opened the door. He gently pushed his way inside and shut the door.

“I heard what happened, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked and tears sprang to my eyes.

“Because I didn’t want anyone to know! I stopped loving Leo a long time ago, but I just couldn’t leave.” I said with a few tears falling down my cheeks. Sweet Pea pulled me into a hug and he gently stroked my hair.

“You deserve someone so much better than that asshole. Jughead and Fangs had to keep me from kicking his ass all day.” He said and I looked up at him confused.

“Why would you care so much?” I asked.

“He hurt you, of course I’m gonna care!” He said, confused.

“But I knew why Jughead would want to kick his ass, but why you?” I asked.

“I always hated him, because he was with you and I wasn’t.” He answered and my eyes widened.

“W-what?” I asked.

“Y/N, I’ve always been so hopelessly in love with you, I just never said anything because you seemed so happy with that dickhead. Now I wish I did, then you wouldn’t have to go through all this shit.” He said and I just stared at him. My best friend was in love with me? But he’s a player! He always said he would never fall in love and that’s why I gave up hope that he would ever love me back.

“I love you too…” I whispered and a smile grew on his face. He leaned down and captured my lips in a sweet loving kiss, something I never got from Leo. This kiss actually had love in it. With Leo there was never love, I was just too naive to see it.

“I’ll help you through all of this, because you’ve always been perfect, Y/N.” He said resting his forehead on mine. It was that moment that I knew I’d be able to get through anything that life threw at me. That I would be able to overcome this dark time in my life and it would be replaced by light.

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missmaxime · 4 years

Text

tagged by: the everyone and their mother, but if you insist on names @bethsuglywigs @foxmagpie @pynkhues @ama-ssiempre & @inyoursheets

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

name/nickname: Maxime? You can hear me say my real name in this voice post (I don’t write it out because I post about work sometimes)

gender: Cis woman

star sign: Taurus

height: 172 cm (so that’s like 5′7 or 5′8 right?)

time: 08:40 in the morning

birthday: May 14th

favorite bands: Okay, confession I barely listen to popular music so I’ll fall back on good old classics like ABBA, Backstreetboys, Bon Jovi, Fleetwood Mac, Panic! At The Disco, MGMT, OK GO, No Doubt (There’s probably more, but I just picked a few from my 2020 Spotify wrap)

favorite solo artists: P!NK, Lady Gaga, Cher, Madonna, Sia, Britney Spears, Mitski, PJ Harvey, Missy Higgins.

song stuck in my head: Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle

last movie: The Prom!

last show: Alice in Borderland (Loved it! Do recommend)

when did I create this blog: May 2013 apparently

what I post: Good Girls with a bit of miscellaneous stuff sometimes.

last thing googled: dressoir (I really want something else than the Kallax as a TV cabinet - I want something where I can see my DVD’s!)

other blogs: nope

do I get asks: yes every now an then

why I chose my url: I used to have a different username that also had Maxime in it, but I didn’t want that username anymore so I briefly changed it to MissMaxime with the intention of changing that - surprise, never did!

following: 92

followers: 156 (you’d think I’d have more judging by when I created this blog, but I have only been active for a few months at the time, and wasn’t really active in fandoms)

average hours of sleep: 7 or 8

lucky number: 11

instruments: Nada! I played the flute for two years when I was about 7 years old - but turns out I can’t read sheet music and I can only remember so much while playing so I quit

what am I wearing: I’d say nightgown, but it’s technically a big shirt

dream job: it’s so ever changing! I’d say as long as it involves being able to create and translate ideas to visual representations.

dream trip: New Zealand, US roadtrip, Japan

favorite food: chicken madras, beef chimi churri, lasagna, split pea soup, actually any chicken curry situation, babi pangang (look i really like dinner - every meal should be dinner)

nationality: Dutch

favorite song: I don’t have one favorite song, I recently listened Adele’s 21 again and gawd Rolling in the Deep does things to me

last book read: book?

top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: BtVS but only if I’m immortal - probably would die otherwise, Harry Potter, post-pandemic sounds great too.

i tag: @bourbon-ontherocks @fairhairedkings @delicatelingon @lanafannabanana @lunafeather @nakedmonkey @nottonyharrison (that’s 20 right?)

#ask meme #asks

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optimistic-dinosaur-nacho · 4 years

Text

Chapter VIII

Story Rating: 14+ Warnings: Violence, Murder, Mentions of Murder, Language, Gore, Mentions of Suicide Summary: Y/N is Andy and Laurie Barber’s 14-year-old daughter who is a high-grade student in Archer Middle School. Her best friend, Alice Miller had been gone for a while. They search for the lost student and find out that Alice Miller’s body has the prints of Andy and Laurie Barber’s daughter, Y/N.

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII

---DEFENDING JACOB SPOILERS---

Italics are considered thoughts from the characters if you didn’t know that.

~~~

The next morning everyone was silent. Their schedules were changed nowadays. A few days after the trial, Laurie goes to the store alone, early in the morning before anyone else.

The Barber family tried to avoid as much attention from others as they could. Y/N still remained at home being home schooled the past days. Andy still stood on a paid leave and so was Laurie.

The family was trapped in their own home.

They’d only leave the house for the important stuff only. Andy happened to go to the pool early in the morning for a few laps up and down the pool.

And that day was another session with Joanna.

Y/N sat in the same spot as last time with her parents on either side of her, watching her closely as Joanna folded her hands in front of her.

Y/N gazed down at the table, “I just wanted it. That’s all,” She replied. Joanna looks at her, “But why did you want it?” She asked. Y/N’s hands twitch, “I just wanted it. It was a cool knife,” She replied.

Joanna inhales, “The DA will say you bought it because you were being bullied by Alice. They’re gonna use that as motive,” Joanna states. Y/N bought the knife cause it was cool—showed it to her friends.

“But it wasn’t,” Y/N replies, coldly. “Your friend Derek seem to think otherwise. Tell me why you think Derek connected your knife to what happened to Alice,” She said. Y/N looks down at her hands and shook her head, “I don’t know. Maybe he’s the real killer, and he wants to blame me for it.”

“Whoa,” Andy cranes his neck back, “Hold on a minute.”

“What?” Laurie asks. “I’m just saying,” Y/N says. “This isn’t a game, Y/N,” Joanna said, “If you think Derek has something to do with this, we need to know why you think it.”

Andy looks over, “You really think Derek had something to do with this?” Y/N was silent for a moment before she shook her head. “I don’t,” She says, “You asked me why he’s blaming me. I don’t know why,” Y/N shrugs.

“Had you ever said anything to him about wanting to hurt Alice?” Joanna asked. Y/N shook her head again, “I don’t think so.”

“That’s not a no,” Joanna says. Y/N swallowed, “Maybe, but-” Andy shifts, “-not in a way that meant anything. I mean, Derek didn’t like him either. A lot of kids didn’t.”

Joanna drops her hands, “Where is the knife now?” She asked.

The room got quiet as Y/N glances at her father who glanced at Joanna. The three shared looks, “Andy, you have it?” Joanna asked. Andy looks at Y/N and licked his lips, bringing his attention back to Joanna, “It was a dangerous weapon. I threw it away.”

Joanna was quiet. “I did what any parent would’ve done,” He says.

“So the knife is gone?” She confirms. Andy looks at Y/N, “This is well before Y/N was considered a suspect.”

“Andy, I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m just trying to ascertain what happened,” Joanna said. Andy nods, “Right, right, right. Yes. Sorry. It’s gone,” He said.

Joanna folds her arms and brings her eyes back to Y/N. “Had you taken it to party on the day Alice was killed?”

Y/N shook her head, “No.”

“Have it with you in the park?” She asked, “When you left the party, did you follow your usual route?”

Y/N nods, “Yeah.” Joanna continues. “So the spot where Alice was killed just happened to be on the very same path you normally follow?” She asks.

Y/N stares at her hands, “I guess so. I never really thought about it that way.”

“Before you discovered Alice’s body, did you see or hear anything unusual at the party?” Joanna asks, Y/N shook her head at the question. “You sure?”

“When we reached the party, I lost Alice in the crowd...” Y/N says, Joanna looks at the notes in front of her. “The party was confirmed that there was alcohol in the home, even Alice’s body had shown signs of alcohol in her system.”

Andy and Laurie shoot towards Y/N. Her eyes never looked at either of them. “Alice left me in the other room when she went to go drink. The party was mostly filled with high schoolers so...”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Andy asked, “Who invited you two?”

Y/N lifts her head up, “Henry was a cousin of Emily’s, she’s a junior, I think.” Andy and Laurie look at each other. Joanna softly sighed, “Did you ever drink?”

Y/N was quiet for a moment and the couple seem to be a bit bewildered. “Y/N,” Laurie softly scolds, Andy leans back. “Did you?” Andy asked. Y/N shakes her head, “I had a small cup, I swear.”

Y/N seemed tensed in her seat as her parents looked at her. Joanna leans forward, “Y/N did something else happen while you were there?” She asked. Y/N kept her eyes low at her hands.

Swallowing thickly, she shook her head. Managing to blink the tears away.

“So, what happened when you left?” Joanna asks. Y/N sits up, “I was just walking, and then... there she was.”

“Alice left before you did?” Joanna confirms, Y/N sighs, “I’m guessing, yeah. She was just lying there at the bottom of this slope, in a bunch of leaves. Wet.”

“How did you know she was there when it was dark?” Joanna asked. Y/N’s lips part before they closed. “It wasn’t that dark, I could see her dress. It was this bright pink dress with flowers, it was one of her favorite ones.”

Joanna nods, “So, you found this body lying on the ground. What did you do?” She asked.

Y/N thought long and hard. “I kind of called her name, like-- ‘Alice? Alice? Are you okay?’”

“So you recognized her right away?” Joanna asked. Y/N nods, “I saw her dress, it was familiar to me.”

“In the police report, you said that she was lying face down, her head at the bottom of the slope. Leaves covering almost her body. And unless I’m missing something, from that angle, all you could see what the bottom of her flats?”

Y/N shook her head, “No. I could see more than that.”

“So, then what?”

“She wasn’t moving, so I went down the hill to see if she was hurt or something.”

“Did you cry out for help?” Joanna asked. Y/N shakes her head again, “No.”

“Did it occur to you to call 911?” Joanna asked. Y/N shuffles, “My phone was dead at the time. I couldn’t--” Andy looks over to her squints at her, “--I thought it could’ve been an accident. Like maybe she fell or something. I didn’t bother to-” She cuts herself off.

“Fell on what exactly?”

“On-- I don’t know. I’m just saying--”

“And if it was an accident, you wouldn’t need to call someone?” Joanna asks, Y/N stammers, “No. It’s-- That’s-- You’re twisting things,” She mutters. Andy looks over to her, “Why didn’t you just call me if they were doing that sort of stuff at the party? If Alice left you alone, you should’ve called.”

“Andy, if you don’t mind-”

Y/N looks over, “I thought I’d get in trouble or something.”

“In trouble?” Andy asked. “Andy, please,” Joanna says, she managed to smile at him as he leans back. The old woman turns back, “What happened next, Y/N?” Y/N’s eyes gazed over to the shelves. “I went down the hill, and I got down beside her.”

“Got down on your knees?” Joanna asks. Y/N nods, “I think so. Yeah.”

“In the wet leaves?” Joanna asks, Y/N lifts her head up finally, “Or maybe I was standing.”

“Stayed standing?” Joanna asked. Y/N sighs, “I honestly don’t remember.” Joanna folds her hands in front of her, “Your parents waited you to return home, they said that your clothes looked perfectly clean.”

“I guess I was standing, then,” Y/N says. Joanna nods, “Then what?”

“Uh... Then I rolled her over to check on her,” She says, Laurie and Andy watched their daughter close. Not to see anything she could possibly be lying. They honestly felt she was pressured. “How did you roll her over? With your foot? Your hands?”

“Hand,” Y/N responds. “Even though you were standing?” Joanna asked. Y/N breathes in carefully, “I bent down. I remember bending down to turn her over.”

“Is that how your fingerprint wound up on the tag of Alice’s sweatshirt?” Joanna asked. “Maybe. I guess,” Y/N replies. “So you rolled her over by her collar,” Joanna continues.

Y/N nods, “Yes, right. So, um. That’s when I saw the blood, and I started freaking out.”

“Because face up, it was now apparent that Alice had been attacked,” Joanna says. Y/N nods, “Yeah.”

“Was there a lot of blood?” She asked. Y/N manages to force herself to look up and nod, “Yes.”

“And still, you stood there and not call for help.”

“I got scared, and I figured someone else would find her pretty soon anyways,” Y/N said. Andy lowers his head and shook his head lightly. “You said you were freaking out.”

“Yes, I was.”

“When Derek came over during that break, he described you as being in a good mood after Alice went missing,” Joanna says. Andy spotted the tear slip down her cheek. “I didn’t want him to know.”

“Why not?” Joanna asked, “He’s your good friend, isn’t he? Why didn’t you feel like you could tell--”

“I don’t know why. I just didn’t, okay?” Y/N snaps, raising her hand up. “Hey,” Andy says. Y/N looks over, “What? It’s obvious she doesn’t believe me.” Joanna slightly leans back as Laurie stares at Y/N with a silent scold with her look.

“Y/N, let me tell you something. It’s doesn’t matter if I believe you. I’m your lawyer, not your mom or dad.”

Y/N shrugs, “Well, that’s what really happened.”

“No one’s saying it didn’t,” Joanna shakes her head. “Yeah, right,” Y/N cranes her head back, “You don’t think I can tell the way you’re asking those questions?”

“What way is that?” She asked. Y/N lifts her shoulders, “I feel like you’re trying to trick me,” She felt like she was about to burst in tears from there but she stood back. “What question was a trick?” Joanna asked.

“You know what I mean.”

“Actually, I don’t. In what way am I trying to trick you?” Joanna asks, Laurie could tell how pressured Y/N felt, she saw it in Y/N’s hands as they twisted against each other and Laurie jumps in.

“Joanna, please. You made your point,” She says. The old woman leans back and the four drowned in silence for a little to ease the tension from Y/N.

Joanna felt bad, “Y/N, I am sorry that I upset you, but I promise you, what we are doing here is nothing compared to what Mr. Logiudice will do to you if you take the stand. Your story has holes in it. I don’t know why, and maybe you don’t either. Our memories are often less reliable that we think, particularly in moments of stress.”

The couple lowered their eyes away from Y/N who kept those tears from falling down like rain. Joanna slowly sighed, “But if I were a juror, I’d have a lot of questions.”

Y/N looks up to her with the crystal eyes as she says, “It’s the truth. Not all the details. You messed me up on those.” Andy understood that, yes, Joanna pressured her with loads of questions. Shooting at her like hell fire.

He nods, “Okay. Okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Y/N snaps, “She just said the jury won’t believe me, so...” Andy looks over to her, “That’s why we’re not gonna put you on the witness stand.” Joanna nods at his response, agreeing, “I think that’s wise.”

Y/N stutters, “How-? How will I tell my story?”

“That’s my job, not yours,” Joanna said. Laurie blinks at her confusingly, “Then what’s his defense?”

“He doesn’t need one,” Joanna says. “What?” She asked. Andy looks over to his wife, “Burden of proof is on the prosecution.” Y/N listened to them speak back and forth, her eyes becoming blurred with tears and she tries to blink them away again.

She has no defense.

The session was ended minutes after as they family walked out of the building with Joanna. “All right, we’ll convene again next week, young woman,” Joanna holds her hand out and Y/N shakes it in hers.

Andy looks over to his girls, “Why don’t you girls go wait in the car. I’m just gonna talk to Joanna for a second, okay?” He asked. Laurie reaches for Y/N’s shoulder and gently gestures her to walk over to his car in the distance.

Andy raised his hands to his hips as Joanna sighs. “It’s a mistake,” He said. “Oh, you don’t honestly think she belongs on the stand.”

“No, of course not, but we can’t just deflect. Juries want a story, and we gotta give ‘em one. A better one,” He says, raising his brows. She shakes her head, “I don’t disagree, but right now, all evidence points one way. And I’m sorry,” She said.

Andy lowers his head. “I’m speaking to you lawyer-to-lawyer here. They knife they found in the park-- You saw the forensics report. It’s not a match.” Andy raises his head and looked out into the plaza up ahead.

“She didn’t do it, Joanna,” He looks over to her, “I know her story sucks, but she’s a kid. They get confused. They say dumb things.”

“I know,” She says. He wanted to get straight to the answers. He didn’t want it to be answered by others. He knew what was the truth.

“She’s innocent.”

Joanna looks out and nods at him reassuringly, “We’re gonna get her through this, I promise, but when you start talking about giving the jury a better story...”

“The story is Leonard Patz,” He said.

“There is nothing connecting him to this case,” She says, his shoulders lift, “Yeah, ‘cause no one’s looked. No on’es taken the time.” Andy looks over to his wife and daughter as Y/N hopped into the back—Laurie gazed up at him.

“I know there’s something there, and I’m not gonna stop until I find it,” He says. Joanna smiles at him, “Just tread carefully, okay?” Andy nods at her with a small grin, “Okay.”

She went to head inside but them stopped, “Oh, I forgot to mention, I got a voice mail from a Globe reporter. I think they’re in town doing some magazine piece on this. If you and Laurie get approached, do not--”

“Yeah,” Andy cuts her off, “Yeah. Obviously.”

“Any press is bad press right now,” She says. Andy nods gently at her, “Thanks, Joanna.” The two go their separate ways. Andy returned back to his family sitting in the car to head back home.

Y/N typed on her computer, working on her work from her last learning session as homework. Laurie recently had grabbed the mail from the box outside and began to scan through them.

Letters from people who threatened Y/N.

She threw those in the bin as she stops on one large mail in the pile. Something she wanted since Andy told her about him. She paused and stared at the mail in front of her.

Y/N perked her head up, “Ma, is Middle East considered Africa or Asia?” Laurie turns her head and thought about it. “I think it’s part of both,” She says. After a moment, Laurie turns around, looking over to Y/N to make sure she wasn’t focused on her mother at all— slowly.

Laurie slipped the mail in the small compartment under the kitchen counter with other mail and magazines as she heads back over to the cut vegetables in front of her.

Finishing off dinner.

The three sat at the table with food in the center of the table as the family ate in silence since they sat. Maybe some thank yous were added just as they dug in. Milo was sitting patiently behind Andy, peaking around as Andy glanced over.

“Down, Milo,” Andy softly says, Milo licks his muzzle and slowly lays down as the command had been given, peering up at him still. Andy began to cut down his food in front as Y/N began to cut her food— the boring look stuck to her face. Head hung low as the utensils clattered on their plates.

“I don’t get why we have to do this every night,” She mutters.

Andy peers up at her, confused, “Eat?”

“No, have this big sit-down dinner,” Y/N says, she took her fork, “We never used to. Not like this.” Laurie was silent, the more Y/N spoke about them eating at this table, she tried to hold it in. The rubber band ready to snap.

Andy sighs, “Well, we do now.”

Y/N looks up slightly and picked at her food, “It’s like we’re trying to pretend we’re normal.” Andy shook his head once, “Is that so bad?” He asked.

“It is when it’s fake normal,” Y/N says. That was it. Laurie felt the band snap and it released her head up to her daughter. “Y/N, what do you want us to do?” Laurie snaps, she tried to sound hopeful. Something to have Y/N say what she wants.

Andy stayed in a stilled position. Here we go.

“We’ve never been in this situation before. What does a parent do?” She asks, Y/N looks over to her father if he were to say anything now. He stood silent. “Just tell me, and I’ll do it,” Laurie said.

Y/N lowers her head. “You wanna go for burgers at Lee’s and have the whole town stare at us? That’s fine,” Laurie nods, “We can do that.”

“Honey,” Andy says.

“No!” Laurie turns, “I mean it. Maybe we’re doing this wrong, acting like prisoners in our own home, sneaking out at all hours just to get a simple errand done,” She said.

Y/N’s eyes began to gaze over the table, afraid to look at her mom and dad. Andy had lowered his head as well. “Just tell me what to do, because I have absolutely no idea anymore. Okay?”

Y/N finally had the gut to look at her mom, blankly. The silence was strong and the lump in Y/N’s throat tightened. She cleared her throat, “Okay,” She says, going back to her food, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Laurie lowers her head then— giving once harsh nod, “It’s fine.” The tension in her arms tried to relax as she breathes in slowly. “We can order pizza tomorrow.”

The family grew silent at the table from the beginning again— this time with the tension and regret filled the air. Andy slowly leaned back as he reached over to place his palm on the back of Laurie’s, rubbing her back soothingly to calm the tension she had in her muscles.

He pulled away and leaned forward. Thinking about something. A joke perhaps.

His brows furrow, “You guys hear about the hipster who burned his mouth on his pizza?” Andy asked, the two girls peered up slightly, no grins yet. Andy reached for his beer, “He ate it before it was considered cool,” He says.

A grin formed on his wife’s face and he looked over to his daughter. The frown stood on her lips before it quirked up into a smile as he grinned.

Dad jokes always worked.

Once dinner was finished off, Andy offered to watch an old movie with Y/N in the living room. The two watched the man and woman chat on screen before Y/N laughs along with Andy. He chuckles, “I can’t believe you’ve never seen this.”

Y/N grins, “We should make this a thing, like a movie night or something,” She gazes up at him.

His brows raise, “Works for me.”

“Because of my mistake, six men didn’t return from that raid,” The man says, reaching for his glass. The woman grins, “Seven. Lieutenant Zipp died this morning-”

The man spits his water out and Y/N laughs at that.

Andy turns to look over to her again. Grinning softly at her— watching the smile he haven’t seen since appear on her face with the clear shine of happiness in her eyes.

To him, they were unique. But he never thought those were the eyes of someone who could take another person’s life. The eyes of someone special in his life, he wouldn’t want to see tear apart in front of him.

He drew his eyes away and looked back towards the screen. Laurie glanced over to them as they laughed. Slowly, she walked over to the side of the counter and slipped out the mail she had gotten that morning— taking it up to her bedroom.

The sound of the doors opening to a man in a orange jumpsuit. The tattoos on his arms and wrist haunted his dreams. The man sat in front of him as the man folded his arms.

“Hey, Billy,” The woman says beside him. The man in the seat looks down at him, “How you doing, Andy?” He lowers his head to the man. “What’s the matter, kid? Afraid of me?”

“Billy, stop,” The woman said. “Look at me, “ Billy says. The woman leans forward, “You’re scaring him.”

“Shut up,” The man growls, “I said look at me.” Andy looks up to Billy sitting in front of him, grinning like a menace. The face of a killer.

“You scared of me? Huh?” Billy asked. Andy lowers his eyes again. “Billy, he’s shy, okay?” The woman said. “Look at me,” Billy says again.

“Stop.”

“You afraid of me, Andy?”

“Stop it.”

“Look at your old man.”

“That’s it. We’re going,” The woman grabs Andy’s wrist and pulls him out of his seat. “Look at me now!” Billy grabs his other wrist and Andy glances at the blade tattooed on his wrist.

“Stop it! Billy stop!”

Andy jerks awake, gasping softly as he turns his head to his wife before letting out a sigh. Jesus Christ. The nightmare had his mouth dry, his heart slightly beating fast than normally. He felt it slow down as he slowly gets up from the bed to get a glass of water.

Leaning on the sink, he took a sip of water from the glass as he looks up to the mirror. Even in the dark— he could see the eyes of a murderer. The eyes of his father. But even the eyes of a man. A man who’s family is being teared apart.

A man who just might lose his daughter.

He shook the thought off and took another sip before splashing the water into the sink and turned it off.

The bed rustles beside Laurie as she felt the bed dip by Andy’s return from the bathroom. Slowly, her eyes opened once Andy finally situated himself on his back and pulled the covers over.

“Andy?” She asked.

He stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah?”

Laurie had it running through her mind like a roller coaster. The thought just came back every day. Her lips parted, “Is there a part of you, even a tiny part.... thinks she might’ve done it?”

Andy thought about it. The eyes. That smile. Never once he did. “Of course not,” He replied, he turns to look at the back side of her. Waiting if she’d add more to her question. She remained quiet.

After finding the address and names of the owners and witnesses. Andy took a drive through town. Driving through the small neighborhood, the sun was barely shining with those gloomy clouds. Kids out with parents, houses that looked like apartments.

Andy parked his car and looked around the neighborhood. He walked around his car and heading down narrow walkway. Car honking, trains blaring, the sound of children shouting were ringing in his ears as he walked up those stairs.

He spots the door, first thing he does is reach up and knocks on it. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away. Seconds just when he turned around, a woman opens the door.

“Mrs. McGrath?” He asks.

The woman furrows her brows and leans on her door, crossing her arms, “Who’s asking?” Her thick Boston accent was noticeable. “I represent Y/N Barber. I was hoping I could speak to your daughter, Madelyn.” This kid was another victim for one of Patz assaults.

“Y/N who?” She asked.

Andy shoots his eyes down then up, “The murder in Cold Spring Park.”

Her neck cranes back, “Oh, right. The kid. You her lawyer?” She asked. Andy shook his head once, “Her father, actually.” Her head tilts up in realization. “No shit.”

“Is Madelyn here?” He asked.

“Uh... Yeah, she’s here. What’s she got to do with it?” She asked. Andy shakes his head, “No, not her. Leonard Patz.” The woman tilts her head up and uncrosses her arms, turning away.

“All right.”

He followed her into her home as he closed the door. The hip-hop music was loud in the other room. Andy spots the cat on the ground. “That’s Amelia. Don’t try to pet her, though. She’s a bitch,” The woman turns, “Maddie!” She called.

Andy stared at the cat for a while. Dogs are better. Glad we only have Milo. “She’s in there with her girlfriend, doing God knows what. These freaking kids.”

Andy stops next to her and looked around the room. “Well, I don’t have to tell you. I mean, look who I’m talking to.” Andy doesn’t even look at her. “Maddie! Hey, how’d you get our names, anyway?” She asked, “I thought sex victims are supposed to be confidential.”

“I used to work with the DA’s office,” Andy responds, the woman’s eyes gaze before she nods. He shrugs, “I’m just trying to get information on Leonard Patz. That’s all.” The woman tilts her head.

“You know what he did to Maddie, right?”

Andy nods, “He groped her in the library.”

“He groped her tits. Maddie!” Andy drops his head and sighed. “What?” A girl shouts on the other side.

“I’m calling your goddamn name! There’s a man here who wants to speak to ya!” She shouts. Andy lets her do her own thing, standing there somewhat awkward as the mother sighs and sat on the couch.

The music stops and two people walk out. Two girls, one with blonde hair and the other was a brunette. Andy turns, “You’re Madelyn McGrath?” He asked. The girl had a chain on her neck, blonde hair was curled and her lipstick slightly smudged.

“Maddie. Who are you?” She asked, she then stops, “Oh, shit. Wait. I’ve seen you on TV,” She turns to her girlfriend, “His kid’s the one they think killed that kid at Archer.”

“Listen, I just wanted to get some information on Leonard Patz. Maybe there’s somewhere you and I can talk in private,” Andy says. The girl’s arms go out an inch, “Who says I wanna talk to you at all?” Madelyn asked.

Great, one of these kids.

“Hey, Maddie,” Her mom says. “Shut up, Ma.” Madelyn looks back at Andy, “Look, I don’t know anything about it, okay?” Andy nods. “I don’t know what you heard. But whatever it was, was wrong.”

“Okay,” Andy said. The girl sways, “So, what? You think Patz was the one who killed that kid in the park?” Andy shrugs. “I don’t know. Do you?” He asked. It’s either gonna be the easy way or the hard way, kid.

The girl shakes her head, “Dude, I just said I don’t wanna talk to you.”

Hard way it is, then. “Well, I’m gonna level with you, Maddie,” Andy looks down before he brings his eyes back up to her.

“I don’t really give a shit what you want. I read that statement you gave to the police. I didn’t buy it,” He shakes his head, “Seeing as how they dropped the case, I’m guessing they didn’t buy it either.”

The girl shuffles in her spot. “You said Patz approached you in a library, chatted you up for about an hour, followed you into a bathroom, grabbed your chest, and then took off. Is that right?” Andy states.

Madelyn shrugs, “Yeah, so?”

“So, I’m supposed to believe a registered sex offender, on probation, is gonna risk ten years in prison to cop a feel on a kid that wouldn’t think twice about beating the shit out of him? Come on. That doesn’t track,” The more he spoke, the more the mother began to rub a hand down her face anxiously.

Nervously.

“The only thing I’d have a harder time believing is that you were in a library. What’s your connection to Patz? You his dealer?”

Silence.

“Lover?”

“Fuck you,” Madelyn spats. Andy grins on the inside, “Did Patz say anything about being in the park the morning of the murder?” Andy finally turns his full body towards her.

Nervously, Maddie looks at her mother, thinking this man might jump on her any second. “Don’t look at her. Look at me.” The girl looks back at him, wide eyes. “If you know something about the case against my daughter, you have to tell me. Now.”

The silence and tension grew once Andy had finished. The strong look of determination while the girl was the weakest there. Driven by fear.

“Ma, make him go,” Madelyn says.

Andy steps up, “My daughter’s life is on the line, Madelyn-”

“You gotta get outta here,” Mrs. McGrath says, Andy takes another step up to Maddie. “I don’t fucking know anything,” The girl says.

“Her life is on the line. You hear me?” Andy’s voice began to raise, “My daughter’s freedom.” Her mother shoves her daughter back, “You go to your room.” Andy takes another step. Madelyn peaks over her mother, “I don’t know anything.”

“Give me any hit of information!” Andy says.

“Get the fuck out!” Madelyn shouts.

“Shut up! Shut your face!” Her mother says, she turns to Andy, “You get out of my house!”

“I need you to do the right thing!” Andy said, Madelyn’s mother points, “Get out. I don’t know who the fuck you think you are,” She says. Andy furiously bounces his leg up and down as he stared at the family.

He shrugged it off and sighed. “Just do the right thing, Madelyn. Your mother has my number,” After that— Andy left the neighborhood. With no trail of evidence.

Earlier that day, Y/N had her first session with Dr. Vogel. Small tests with pictures of good or bad pictures. With an pulse oximeter, it beeped as Y/N pushed the green or red button on those pictures.

Dead animals. Bodies. Children happy. Riots. Y/N glances over to Dr. Vogel and the woman gives the girl a small smile. The corner of Y/N’s lip curves up for a second and turned back to the screen in front of her.

Laurie stood outside the room. Staring at the painting in front of her.

Pierre Bonnard

The painting had looked like a lake or pond. Trees surrounding it with the blue sky with clouds. For the first time in a while, Laure felt. Peaceful. Something pulling her into a void of happiness, gentle and peace. It seemed to calm her.

Something she haven’t felt for a long time.

Breaking from her thoughts, she hears her phone chime. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her phone and read the calendar.

Children’s Cottage Spring Gala!! Now Tonight at 7:00PM

The thought when she came back from work, they told her it wasn’t a good time to come back after Y/N’s arrest. They were shocked to see her come in so soon. But they told her to head home.

Spring Gala was what she set up. The video she created was never gonna be up. Someone other than her probably did it and never complained how bad it was. Laurie felt distraught.

Laurie hears the door click in front of her, “Sorry. We ran a little long,” Dr. Vogel says, she turns to Y/N. “Really nice meeting you, Y/N. I look forward to us talking again next Tuesday.”

Laurie stands up as Y/N nods, “Okay.” Laurie gently smiles at her. Dr. Vogel grins, “She’s a very good sport. She was really focused and she was...” Elizabeth stops to see Laurie’s look.

“Is everything okay?” She whispered. Laurie nods, “Yeah. I...Yeah. Sorry,” She whispers back.

“Okay. Don’t worry about it,” The woman says, Y/N looks over to them and patiently waits. “We’re going to be late for her tutor,” Laurie says, hoping not to waste Elizabeth time any longer.

“Yeah, okay. Of course. Um--” Vogel gently takes Laurie’s hands and grins, “Take care, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Taking Y/N out of the building, Laurie and Y/N both rode in the car in silence. Laurie keeping her eyes on the rode as Y/N stared out the window. “Is dad home?” She asked.

Laurie glances over, “Um, I’m sure he’s out running a few errands. He texted me a while ago, so I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

Andy had sat in his car in front of Freeman’s Hardware. Following Leonard Patz who was reported to be working there. His cap low over his brows as he watched the sex offender walk out to his car after work.

Andy followed him. He made sure not to be so close to the man for him to be spotted and considered some psycho dad. He wasn’t. Was he?

He stopped on the other side of the street when Leonard Patz chosen to grab a pizza at C&M’s. The place Andy would grab his for the family. Andy watched him drive off and he followed once again.

Leonard had reached his apartment complex and gotten out nonchalantly. Andy stopped at the sign and saw Patz walk over to the front. Pulling his notes over to his lap, he began to write.

He looked over to the time.

Patz returns home around 3 pm.

After that— Andy drove home. He parked his car in the garage and went through the back doors instead of the front. He walks in, being greeted by their lovely big dog. “Hey, buddy,” Andy gently pats the dog’s stomach as he walks over to the counter.

“Honey?” He called, looking around. He drops his keys and began to pull off his jacket, looking into the living room. No one. He hears the faint sounds of shooting, like a video game was beaming upstairs.

Andy walks over and jogs up the stairs casually as he reaches Y/N’s door.

“Yeah. Shoot him. Shoot him, right there,” She was muffled behind the door and Andy’s fists tighten up. What the hell did he just tell her? “Shoot him!”

He grabs the door and twists it, “What the hell did I tell you abo--” Andy cuts himself off when he sees two people sitting next to Y/N. A boy. And a girl. Sarah from when he spoke to her at the school.

The boy was a brunette. Green eyes. Somewhat strong jawline for an eighth grader. Andy pauses, “Oh. Sorry,” His voice was more softer than from when he came in.

Y/N grins awkwardly, “Uh, this is Matt. And this is Sarah. They’re from school.” Andy’s shoulders drop now, “Right. Okay, hi.”

Sarah nods, “We met before. When you came to Archer that day. I’m sure you haven’t met Matt, though” Andy nods with a smile, “Of course, of course. Hi, Matt,” The boy shyly grins.

“Mr. Barber.”

“How are you?” He asked. Sarah and Matt shrug, “We’re good, thanks.”

“Nice to see you two,” Andy looks over to Y/N with no change of expression. Except that the fact she had a boy in her room. No problem.

“I was just, uh... checking in,” He says, he turns around, “Where’s mom?” He asked. Y/N turns to the screen, “I’m not sure. She said something about meeting someone from work.”

“Okay,” Andy nods, “Well... have fun.” He grins. He looked at the three and noticed Y/N’s eyebrows raise up as she pierced her lips together. The awkward silence stood before Andy closes his eyes, “Right. Sorry,” He grabs the door and closes it.

He smiles gently as he went back downstairs, listening to them laugh.

After a few hours of them playing, they left before they could have a slice of pizza Andy had ordered. They began to watch the soccer games. “They didn’t want to stay for dinner?” Andy asked.

Y/N hums, “Their mom wanted them back home.” Andy turns to Y/N, “He’s related to Sarah?”

Y/N nods, “Matt is adopted, he told me Sarah’s mom had a miscarriage at the time and she found him.”

He nods. “Who is he?” Andy asked.

Y/N rolls her eyes with a grin, “Um, just some kid who was in Derek’s group, he wasn’t much of a talker so we didn’t really know each other before he came up to me.” Andy nods, “They seemed nice.”

“Mm-hmm. They’re a little weird though.” Andy brings the napkin to his face and wipes it before turning to her, “Weird?”

“Yeah. Like artsy, you know? A lot of kids give them crap for it sometimes. Matt’s more of the quiet kid,” She said. Andy nods, “Well, it’s nice they came to see you.”

“Yeah. Matt and I were just texting, and, uh, he asked me what I do most days, and I said ‘Nothing much’, so he said they can come over, hang out.” Andy watches her reach for another piece of pizza as she watched the television.

“But I think he just feels sorry for me.”

Andy thought about him and slowly shifted, “Maybe he just likes you,” He looks over and smiles. Y/N blushes and shakes her head, exhaling, “I think it’s more like he feels guilty.”

“What do you mean guilty?” Andy asked.

Y/N swipes her tongue across the inside of her cheek, “He said Derek was saying some stuff about me to him and Sarah and they just feel bad about it. For believing him, whatever.”

Andy turns away, “They don’t believe him now though?”

Y/N shrugs, “I guess not,” She mumbled, “If they came over. But he’s been into me and Sarah forever.” Andy turns to her again.

“Who Derek?” Andy asked.

Y/N nods, “Yeah. He’s, like, obsessed with Sarah, not just her.”

“If he liked you why would he say those things?” Andy asks, Y/N shrugs at the thought. “You know how boys get, they usually bully girls to keep their secret inside but I found out when Matt told me. I think Matt and Sarah think maybe he did it.”

Andy turns to her and closes his eyes, shaking his head, “Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What’d you just say?” He asked, he turns his body towards her.

Y/N inhales, “Matt and Sarah thinks he might have done it. But they didn’t say that, you know. Sarah just said she heard the cops at school and had talked to him. They called in his mom, too.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s a suspect,” He states. Y/N nods, “I know, but that’s what they think it was.” Andy stares at her blankly. She shook her head, “I don’t know. Maybe Matt just wants to make me feel better.”

Andy finally situates himself back onto the couch as he silently sat there, staring down. And he never spoken about that again.

Laurie returned home just like she said, around 8-8:30. She was tensed. After speaking without knowing that the woman at the diner was a Global writer, asking about the case after Laurie had just finished rambling about how her days were going.

Saying that Andy never had friends.

Entering through the front door, she drops her keys at the front. Andy peeps over, “Hi. How was dinner?” He asked. Laurie manages to speak, “Good.” She pulls off her purse and greeted Milo who came trotting over with a wagging tail.

“I might have made some progress today on the Patz front,” Andy says. Laurie peers up, “Oh?” She tugs her coat off. “Yeah. Talked to this kid who’s mixed up with him. I think she’s hiding something,” Laurie never moved as she seem to be staring into a complete void.

In her own thoughts as Andy looks over to her and tilts his head, “You okay?” His voice drenched with worried. Laurie looks up before softly saying, “I’m just tired.” Andy nods and grabs the bag filled wit cans and bottles.

“Okay. I’m gonna take out this recycling. I’ll be up in a minute,” He peers over, reassuringly. Laurie nods, “Okay,” Then she turned a heel. Andy carefully and worryingly watched her walk up the stairs as he heads over to the back door.

“Come on, bud, let’s go outside.” Milo sniffs the door as Andy opens it for him.

Y/N sat on her bed as she typed away on her computer, eyes completely fixed onto the screen as she stared.

Full Name May Kobbs User Name may_kobbs Password |

Y/N typed in a password and added a profile picture saying ‘Veddy Nice’ with two thumbs up. Someone knocks on her door and she looks up. Andy peers in, “Hey,” He says softly.

Y/N pulls an earbud out as Milo strolls in and immediately goes for his bed in the corner of the room. “Mom and I are gonna hit the hay. You should probably do the same,” He says.

“All right,” She says, “Good night.”

Andy nods at her, “What are you watching?” He asked. Y/N looks at her screen, turning it to face him. “Watching skateboarding fails,” She lightly laughs.

Andy nods, “High comedy. Okay. Don’t stay up too late. Night, Milo,” Andy said, the dog’s ears perk up as his eyes slowly drooped. After Andy closed the door, Y/N puts the earbud back in and goes back to the account.

Andy began to tug off his shoes while Laurie began to brush her teeth, “Just kind of a sense of normalcy in a way. I mean,” He shrugs, “It’s not like he ever had boys over before, but you know what I mean.”

He walks over and leans in the doorway to the bathroom, “So, dinner was nice?” Laurie looks over and hums, giving him a thumbs up. “Good. God, I’m glad. You deserve it.”

Y/N scrolls through and finds Matt’s instagram, following it just after following Sarah’s as well. Y/N goes to the messages and began to type.

Sent May Kobbs HIGH FIVE!

From Matt Grohl That’s you? lol i thought you weren’t allowed?

Sent May Kobbs I want to see your guys songs

After that Y/N got accepted in. Seeing piano videos along with Sarah and Matt in together with guitars. Y/N grins.

Andy slowly walked out of the bathroom and headed over to the bed, joining Laurie. He turns off the light, “I’m gonna check in again with Duffy tomorrow.” Andy began to get under the sheets, “Matt told Y/N he saw the police at school, questioning Derek,” He grunts.

“About what?”

“I don’t know. Sarah and Matt seem to think that he might be a suspect.”

“Derek?” Laurie asked. “Yeah. Anything’s possible.” Andy looks over to Laurie who lets out a small sigh. “What?” He asked.

Laurie gently shakes her head, “That’s what everyone says about Y/N.”

“Well, that’s why we can’t leave her fate up to the cops and a courtroom. We gotta get answers for ourselves,” He says.

“Isn’t that Joanna’s job?” She asked. The two stare at the ceiling, “Joanna’s a great lawyer, but lawyer’s have boundaries. I don’t. Not anymore. My only job now is trying to protect our daughter.”

The silence stood still as if the air never moved any longer.

“Whatever it takes.”

~~~

I screamed when they added the Whatever it takes line into the show. It was midnight at the time, okay? I screamed.

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

All in the Family

Chapter 41: The Dementor

Regulus had never considered the rocking motion of the train any comfort. In fact it made him sick to his stomach, this bit of transportation was as good as the embodiment of every expectation he'd ever had put on him in his life. Now he was trapped in a compartment with a list of people he'd never have asked for, and the book chose to fall onto his head.

He rubbed the spot and glared up at the luggage compartment where he was unsurprised to see Hedwig snoozing in her cage next to a very battered briefcase with a tag hanging off the edge, but he was distracted from making out the handwriting by the cat carrier still sealed shut. Crookshanks was obviously still inside, he could see his squashed orange face trying to peer down below. Regulus briefly wondered why Scabbers wasn't present up there as well, but perhaps if he'd remained on Ron's person he wouldn't be present?

The pets were the lucky ones, remaining up there while a thick layer of tension sat on all the seats. The Marauders were clearly no happier than the other three to be forced back into such a small space, Evans had made quick work of checking the compartment door to make this otherwise. Nothing came of it, so Regulus was left in the awkward position of sitting across from his brother next to the window with two groups of people on each side. One thought his brother a cold-blooded murder in this future, the others insisting otherwise. He kept waiting for someone to demand he pick a side.

Yet no one had. Sirius hadn't asked him what he really thought of this, nor had his fellow purebloods in Longbottom and Smith turned to him and tried to say their point on the matter to him. This time, he was really left to make a decision. He tried to imagine what his mother would say about this, stand by the purebloods side and defend such accusations, or would Sirius being who he was would not get such a reprieve from their mother. It seemed like an honest toss. Then he remembered his mother didn't always know what's best anyways, she'd been wrong about the Dark Lord and who knew what else. So maybe, for once, he should come to his own conclusion without an outside voice.

He licked his lips with nerves and instead began flipping through to the new slot of empty pages for now. As always words materialized at the new chapter, entitled The Dementor. For a moment he was sure that one lone word would break the heavy silence around him, nobody could disagree those scourges of the Earth could mean anything good to come. Rain continued to lash upon the windows outside, the train rocked violently and kept trucking on no matter the gale force winds making it all so much worse, and the luggage above creaking was still the only accompaniment noise, until, "hope the food trolley still comes around," Pettigrew said into the awkward silence.

Regulus chuckled with agreement to that at least, glancing around to see every one of them making some indication of agreement as he began.

James was grateful Harry didn't get the chance to repeat any of this to his friends while the Weasley family was scrambling to pack for the train. He didn't need any of the vilifying comments against Sirius repeated, least of all the ones concerning Harry. It was all ridiculous to the extreme and he hoped something changed soon other than having to hear of this horrid news.

He'd really been hoping nothing of interest would take place, for once, but Harry didn't even get a chance to hop aboard the train before Arthur Weasley was pulling him aside and laying it all on even worse. Even if some You-Know-Who supporting murderer was after Harry, which wasn't Sirius!, who on Earth was crazy enough to think his son would go looking for him? It somehow even made less sense than putting Sirius' name into the mix, and he wouldn't have thought that possible moments ago.

Remus was already exhausted by the constant glares being shared across the small space. Squashed between Sirius and James, he was getting the majority of them. It's not as if he wasn't used to such looks, their group wasn't exactly popular when they were the reason a whole corridor was ducking for cover. Not to mention Evans seemed to have made it her personal mission to glare at them as many times as was humanly possible and beyond. It felt different now though, that they didn't have a corridor to exit from, a class to get to, something else to occupy their time in between constantly having to put on a face for others.

Time was a wonky mess, and it had been since all this started. He was sagging back in his seat in a dead exhaustion, eyes heavy lidded and ready to take a long and restless sleep from a full moon he hadn't run. He could feel it in his bones though, that it should have happened, and this had been going on for, days? It was impossible to tell.

Regulus' voice was calm enough though as Harry began looking about the train for a place to sit, and he was quite warm. It wouldn't be the first time he'd lolled off to sleep, and Sirius' shoulder just so happened to be rather comfortable... "Professor R. J. Lupin."

Said man snapped out of his seat as if he'd been electrocuted, suddenly wired and quite alive, chest heaving as he looked from Regulus to his friends and back as if waiting for someone to scream, 'gotcha.'

None did. His three friends were looking at him like he was a ghost, the other four had their faces scrunched up in a variety of expressions stating incredulity this news existed.

"Well, there goes our idea the rest of us are dead," Sirius spoke, his voice barely heard in the howling wind.

"I, I don't understand!" He choked out, gazing up at the luggage rack where it still sat, plain as day. Fingers trembling so hard he could barely grasp the handle, surely his shaking hand would make the weather beaten suitcase come apart before he found the latch.

"Obvious ain't it," Evans muttered, her eyes now narrowed even farther with mistrust.

She was ignored, finally Peter took pity on him and reached over to release the contents. Maybe it was some insane coincidence with some other man's initials, but that idea was ruined as Remus couldn't keep his fumbling hold and everything fell to the floor.

There were a few different sets of patched robes that were several sizes too large that covered most of the foot room now, a bar of chocolate that had landed half under Frank's seat, and a few bathroom belongings that could have fairly belonged to anyone.

Then there were the rest of the things peeking out that only the Marauders could have known to associate with their friend. One of those articles of clothing was an old threadbare cardigan all four of them had taken turns wearing so many times, none even knew who the original owner was. Several books were dog eared with messy scribbles in Moony's handwriting all over varying Dark beasts of the world, bits of parchment on a mound of subjects all bound together as if waiting for notes to properly be taken, and on the bottom inside of the suitcase was a crudely hand drawn circle.

All four of their eyes were drawn to it, lost in the memory of choosing something so simple yet personal to them to put on every bit of luggage they owned. A full moon, a letter in each of their chosen names, something with no ending or beginning and was simply meant to last forever.

"Moony," Sirius broke into his frozen mind, but the expression on his face left him clueless what was coming next. "Congratulations on making something of your life, at least one of us did."

That smile was fake, the jesting tone was forced, but Sirius was making an effort not to let the others see the pit twisting him up inside at the idea now being presented before them. That their friend was alive and well, and a teacher of all things, while Merlin knew what was going on with Sirius.

Regulus just snorted and muttered about the odds as he continued, but the Marauders couldn't bring themselves to pay attention to anything else he said. The kids dissolved into talking of Hogsmeade and all sorts of things, even Sirius again, but they were pretty fixated on this new bit of information and had no way to get it out of their system.

What had Remus been doing all this time if not spending every day with the Marauders? What was this future like if Sirius had really been in Azkaban this whole time and Prongs long dead. What about Wormtail, had he just moved on with his life as well? Did the two even keep in contact? The idea seemed ludicrous to question now, but all four of them were suddenly faced with the very real idea none had ever questioned before now, what was really in store for them?

Alice watched with curiosity, and even some worry, as the more that was exposed this year the quieter the Marauders got. It wasn't natural. Not once in the years she'd been in their vicinity had they ever been any such thing even close to this. Even if they weren't laughing obnoxiously, shouting to each other about all their jokes, or whispering in the corridors, these pale wide eyed faces looked alien.

When Regulus mentioned Harry's birthday Sneakoscope going off and the silence persisted in here, she got up curiously and located Harry's trunk above her head. She had to rummage for a few moments before finding a nasty pair of yellow socks the little top was indeed inside of, but even as she held it out for inspection it wasn't going off now.

"Wonder what's got it in a twist round them then?" Frank happily picked apart this new puzzle, hearing nothing but the younger Black reading this whole time was starting to get eerie.

"Maybe Lupin's not really sleeping, he's faking it," Lily pointed out, still with a heavy look at him where he'd slowly sunk back into his seat, now sitting on the very edge though and looking paler than usual, which was really saying something.

"That's Professor Lupin to you now!" Potter tried to correct with his usual boasting and cocky grin, but even as Lily watched something seemed off about it. He seemed stiff, his eyes out of focus instead of trying to catch hers. She found that unnerving, and then with a horrid self reflection, she realized she felt bad for him. James Potter! She really couldn't help it though, no matter how hard she tried to shove the feeling away. The poor teen had learned that he was to die, where his kid would be relocated, and now two of his three friends had some pretty shoddy things going on in their future lives all in a matter of days. It was a lot for anyone to take in.

For a moment Lily thought the deep lurch had come from inside her, but then she nearly fell out of her seat as the train did come to a screeching halt.

Regulus fumbled with the book and only just managed to keep hold of it, words stumbling a bit as he got to the same part. He shivered in trepidation, for what he didn't understand, until he shivered again and realized it wasn't just some feeling. It was true, bone deep cold, the windows were icing over and he could see his breath.

"Wha-what's going on!?" Pettigrew demanded, his voice shrill as he recoiled from the door, wand already drawn.

The others had already done the same, even as the answer was presented. A dementor was aboard, and it had its sights on Harry.

The youngest Black was reading in an outright panic, flying through words to try and get this chapter over with before they were forced to experience anything similar. Sadly even after he got past the part of Lupin in the book banishing the creature, they remained in the black void. Regulus could feel his chest rattling, his mind was buzzing painfully as whispers from his past began cluttering to the forefront and he could barely concentrate on the words in front of him.

He wanted his dad to put a big, warm hand on his shoulder and tell him his plan. He wanted his mum to tell him what there was to do and how to solve this. More than anything he wanted Sirius to wrap an arm around him, like he hadn't done since before before that Gryffindor nonsense began. He wanted his big brother to promise their parents weren't really mad at Regulus and he would handle everything. He couldn't grasp that feeling, that emotion, just kept stumbling along through Harry's bizarre recount of a woman screaming, Malfoy being his usual petty self, and finally as he felt his soul rattling in his chest as if it could sense the monster beyond that door, they were in the castle and McGonagall was looking into the incident.

His eyes flinched without his permission, to the door and back to the words in a panic as he kept waiting for it to happen. Smith was beside him shaking in her seat, a silent scream trying to pass her lips. Sirius was still across from him, his hand clutching his chest and mouthing something unintelligible, the horror on his face unmatched. He checked again, and just beyond the window pane he saw a tall, dark, cloaked figure with grotesque, misshapen looking digits reaching for the handle.

In one last desperate breath, he declared Hagrid and Lupin being made Professors, then Harry finally getting safely into his own dorm, and finally they were out.

#PoA #Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #Marauders #Jilly #Wolfstar #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Peter Pettigrew #Lily Evans #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith

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