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#that shit takes mental energy I do not have
aceattorney-countdown · 3 months
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80 days until the Ace Attorney Investigations Collection releases!
God I hate Eustace Winner never let Capcom localize my boy Sebastian again
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necroticghost · 7 months
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im so fucking useless
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caressthosecheekbones · 3 months
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Don't measure your self-worth according to your weaknesses.
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yay-depression · 1 year
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hello! quick reminder that as all the media surrounding demi lovato’s interview where they said they were “tired” of using they/them pronouns show misleading headlines about how demi was “exhausted from using they/them” what actually happened is that demi lovato said it was exhausting having to constantly explain themselves and constantly educate people on they/them pronouns.
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daffi-990 · 1 month
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I had plans to write or art today, but I am so bone deep burnt out and tired that ima just lay in bed and watch stuff.
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 10 months
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[cws: starvation/food insecurity, fantasy racism, psychiatric abuse, ableism, and Upsetting Pictures.]
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one thing that fucks me up immensely about pericles before and after the asylum is how fucking skinny he is.
like. as much as obviously the two designs are Very Inconsistent in general which annoys me, look at him pre-timeskip. look at how he's shaped.
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his head and face are way smoother and rounder, both in front and back, and the space between his cheekbones and his eyebrow ridge is filled in; his body is rounder in general and his belly is noticeably between his thighs when he's standing up; he has kind of a chubby butt; his chin and neck are softer and wider around, which you can really see with the width of the scarf compared to his shoulders and the angle where it meets his head. it comes up in front of his face more because there's not as much of an angle with his chin to hold it down.
now. compare all those things to this.
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christ.
and like, you could argue some of these design differences are tiny things to zero in on in a show that's as loose with its models as sdmi is. but present-day pericles' design is pretty obviously supposed to be unsettling because he's physically built to be a Cute Roumb Little Mascot Creature--so much so that the framework has managed to stick around a little in spite of everything--and has become gaunt and haggard anyway. and you could also argue that the body type changes are just thanks to aging twenty years (and i don't doubt that's contributed).
except. he spent those twenty years in an asylum where the other inmates we see look like this.
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christ.
(fun little fact that @thecottageinthedark pointed out also: remember how he literally got caught at one point because he couldn't stop eating sunflower seeds, even during a heist? a high-fat, high-calorie snack for birds? you know, exactly the kind of thing a starving person who finally has proper access to food would be wolfing down?)
(yeah.)
did i mention that this happened in a (fantasy) racially segregated prison, which is technically an asylum so the inmates can be kept there indefinitely, because in an actual prison you're required to have a sentence? did i mention that none of the human characters we see in human prison look any less healthy during or afterward, and on top of that are allowed to move around and socialize? did i mention the absolutely horrific treatment of the asylum inmates is implied to be despite the fact that the (physically abusive!) guard is playing up how dangerous and malicious they are? (you know. except for pericles 🙃)
did i mention the man who got pericles imprisoned--who he had not only done nothing to beforehand, but had helped--says he was there to 'live out the rest of his miserable parrot life in a cage, where he belonged,' and not only do none of the characters we're supposed to side with have anything to say about that, but the audience is clearly supposed to agree with him too?
(did i mention said man--who was in on the crime, singular, that pericles went to prison for!--spends those twenty years living a life of luxury in power while abusing the child he kidnapped as a baby and held hostage his entire life, and when we see him in prison he is not only chilling out and helping the authorities but reading a newspaper?)
did i mention the part where by the time we meet pericles he hasn't spoken in years?
like. man the 'ooooo scary evil abused asylum crazies' trope is bad enough, even when they pretend to lampshade it for a minute before playing it straight; i don't know how they added in All That and made him emaciated and expected no one to find it heartbreaking or even sympathetic. i don't care how bad he was before the asylum (and dear god was he ever), that is horrifying and no one deserves it. god damn.
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disengaged · 6 months
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alright anorexia is boring, let’s get yolked
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ozymoron · 7 months
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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
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damndude69 · 1 month
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#I do this thing where I keep comparing myself and my life to other people my age who live like ‘normal lives’ where they live with just#their partner and work decent-ish paying jobs#and don’t live near family/have large family obligations#like I make slightly more than minimum wage#my health stuff had been getting worse#my fiancé is disabled/chronically ill and working her ass off so she doesn’t have excess energy#which leaves a lot of house work on me#which is fine and I don’t mind#and our household is me my fiancé my 23 yo sister and we’ve all lived together for like 3 years now and my sister makes a lot more money &#helps with house stuff#/​maintenance#but my younger sister and her 9 month old moved in at the beginning of summer because her baby daddy is a scum bag#and she’s 20 and really mentally unwell#so a lot of baby care falls on me & my fiancé#along with trying to help my sister with her mental health#which is like not normal levels of unwell it’s like serious shit and she’s completely unmedicated and going through a real hard time and not#adjusting to motherhood well cause she was 19 and shouldn’t have had a baby#and like she knows that but what’s done is done#she can’t move back in with my parents because her relationship with them is too fucked#and like there’s also complicated stuff safety and bad ppl in her life so that’s a stress inducing factor#she’s unemployed and I’m not sure will ever be able to work and can’t drive#not her fault just the reality we live in#also we’re the ppl who live closest to my grandmother who’s health has been rapidly declining so a lot of that has fallen on my other sister#and me to manage#I also have to pet sit a lot because I need the money#and when I come home I have to spend all my time getting the house back in order#also I’m about to be losing a days worth of pay starting September cause the kids I nanny are doing two half days a week of prek#which means less money & with these grocery bills and two more mouths to feed is gonna fuck me in the ass#so like yeah I don’t have the time or energy for hobbies I spend all my damn free time trying to keep the house clean or taking care of#The baby & like it’s just the way it is but it’s not comprable to how all the ppl I knew in highschool r living rn
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endlessnightlock · 11 months
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why have you become inactive?
Hi Anon, I hope you're doing well today.
Mostly, I haven't been around as much because real life requires more of my attention. Good stuff, though. Being more present with my family (I went to see the FNAF movie with my thirteen-year-old this week. Are any FNAF fans out here? I was slightly confused by the movie because it's not my thing but had a lot of fun going with her), eating better, cleaning my house, and trying to get organized so my chaotic monkey brain stays happy. Unfortunately, you have to stay on top of that stuff more as you age if you want to keep your sanity :).
Hopefully, once I get more of my shit together, I'll be around here more often. Love you guys and I miss hanging out!
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afniel · 1 year
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Every morning my brain spins a little wheel and picks what's going up be fucked up that day. Usually it's my pain perception or energy level, sometimes it's my mood, sometimes it's my sense of balance and I could do without that, but VERY OCCASIONALLY it will Mad Lib slap together, "TODAY'S BROKEN THING: your (noun:[ability]) (verb:[to sense that]) (object:[you are disabled])," and today is one of those days. I feel fucking good? I slept well? I jogged big sections of the way to lunch because I could? My legs didn't cramp up? I'm in a super good mood?
This happens so rarely that I actually register it as a problem and go through the day thinking, oh no have I finally developed bipolar, is this mania, and it's like, no, dipshit! It's functioning. Of course it feels good and you feel good about it. There's nothing wrong with having nothing wrong with me for a moment. You really don't understand how disability changes you until you're wondering if your temporary relief is a mental illness...
But enough of that, I'm having a good day and I hope everyone else is too, and if you aren't, I hope you'll have one very soon. 💜 ✌️
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juniestar · 3 months
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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
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agdab · 1 year
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something ive had a sort of wild revelation on is the process of healing in terms of my trauma/past. like yes. i am not there anymore. i am not around those people anymore. that is a good thing. but that doesnt automatically mean i am healed and perfectly fine and no longer suffering from it.
cus yknow it was something that took up 20+ years of my life and i only just got away at age 24 about it and am now sat at 25. thats a lot to work through. thats a lot of extensive repetitive trauma/abuse to overcome. healing really is a fuckin process and its a hell of a long one too.
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hazmatazz · 9 months
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holy shittt i wish my therapist didn't quit and i didn't have so many issues
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ouroboobos · 11 months
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A lot of of (primarily white) grown adults hide their complacency and complicitness behind the schtick of "I'm sorrrryyyyy its just because I'm so anxious and smol wahhh I'm so pathetic I'm such a pushover I'm so dumb" to try and keep you from holding them accountable but it's time to stop coddling them and just be like yeah you are pathetic and stupid.
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savethepinecones · 1 year
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so so sick of being yelled at for being depressed
#my sister offered to let me move in with her and her spouse and my mom insisted i stay here til the end of the year#because shes worried about my mental health#but she keeps freaking out whenever i have Symptoms#like yeah i dont have any energy so sometimes it takes an extra day or two to get chores done#ive made it clear that im trying my best but it never meets her standards so it doesnt matter#and she wont even fucking let me leave#i told her months ago i wouldnt be able to contribute to groceries much longer because i havent worked in six months and have no money#and she was super understanding at the time but as soon as i make any food requests when someone goes shopping she gets pissed at me#says im asking for too much when im keeping it to the bare minimum#and when my sister heard about this she offered to send me some grocery money and my mom got pissed about that too#i woke up to a huge paragraph of text lecturing me and she called it a 'roommate intervention' like she hasnt been very clear that#she doesnt consider us roommates#and she refuses to actually talk about it she just sends me messages freaking out about how im not good enough#and then she says if i respond shell freak out so shes refusing to have an actual discussion#like if shes so fucking sick of me being here she should just let me move jfc#i havent been able to eat at the table for years because its covered in a bunch of her shit but if i ask her to do something about that#shed just freak out#like how dare my living here inconvenience her in any way but also what i want doesnt matter at all#i dont have any of my stuff in the living room or dining room and i only have some stuff for coffee in the kitchen#and even then she moves that shit without checking with me beforehand#im doing everything i can to reduce my impact here and its still not fucking good enough#god im just so sick of living here#brb gotta go do a million chores while i have a migraine because otherwise there will be 'consequences'#like im a fucking child#and not a full grown adult whos dealing with serious mental health shit but still trying their best#god i want to cry rn im just so sick of this
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