#that is what io is and what they think of themself as a being

[incendiorum]

fascinated by my own concepts. the only thing that io thinks ties them to 'human' is their emotions. their fears, their love, their trauma, their guilt, their joys. pleasure and sorrow. the highs and lows. beyond that... nothing? that's it. io really does consider themself something other. and to some extent they've always felt not entirely like a witch compared to other witches, either. and tie that in with sometimes having such difficulties with how that human 'guise' looks? io, I think, can have some very, very disorienting moments in their life. also, honestly, viewing io as something 'other' is not a terrible assumption to make. they don't age. they're permanently stuck at one appearance, barring scarring, for the rest of their days. and they exude something that can prickle the hair on anyone's neck especially when their magic is fully in play and not just lurking around like a trouble-making cat.

[sentience-if]

I remember sending an ask ages ago about Val forcing Io to take a text to prove they passed sex education while their RO sits awkwardly waiting to go on a date. Don't know why it came back to me after all this time but I just thought of Val making Io do the test before going on a date with them and just being the most impatient and annoying one, laying upside down on the sofa like:

"Iooooooo come oooooon, I want to make out hurry uuuup."

"It's difficult Val! Also what's a baby?"

"It's like a minature human that's cute and cries a lot."

"...Ira?"

"Yes, but not if you want to pass."

lmfao get wrekt Ira

trying to think what neutral third party Val would trust to grade this test. its gotta be Ira themself, since its definitely not Klaus lol

[thetentaclecommander]

Thaks for the tag @damadisangue! Lesse:

When did you start writing?

I remeber as a lil tentacle in human 3rd grade writing this meandering, long, just where was this boat going like 25+ page story for English class and just had a ball in making up the story. I didn't care that the story was a hot mess, I unknowingly realized I liked lore building. But, I realized that after I wrote it one, I went way over what the class wanted cause of my overachieving tentacle tendency and two, that I hated editing, grammar and all the boring English stuff. I didn't try to write a story again till many years later and realized the story itch had come back to me.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I actually, genuinely like slice-of-life and very inspirational/good vibes type of stories. But I simply like writing drama and assholes too much to write that sort of stuff often.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

My writing style recently got compared to the book House of Leaves. I need to read this but considering the few pages I've seen, I'm honored and can see the comparison at points.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

My big black desk with a standing desk attachment to force my tendriled self to get up, covered in paper that sometimes gets neatened only to get it ruined again due to time or my cat familar. Headset, dual monitors, pc w normal tentacle ergonomic peripherals, crystals, eldritch symbols covered in dark purple black ichor. Normal desk set up.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Do a ritual seance with burnt wormwood and channel into Nemesis' headspace. Find myself mentally projecting on the 56th astral plane with spoitify playing something dank and bizarre to mortal ears and chant ioioioioioio-

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

sheding of human fear sheding of human loss yet knowing such removal only brings more weakness to the fore the loneliness of being the only one the question of faith both internal and external to want is to long to love is to harm until you become one's true self free from greed, from selfish power games and inflicted misery and living in truth not lies strength in finding self not fighting for a control that isn't yours to demand no gods but us  no masters but us utter the lies the waking profane io io io

What is your reason for writing?

breathe and become as we only can bring you hope-

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

- oh and we're back. Sorry, I had a walk about and forgot to finish this. But I hope to be known as a trolly, yet fun author that challenges your sense of taste, and makes you question what is. Though, being known as that fucking persistant Nemesis and Jill shipper is good enough, lol.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Um, I can make up shit on the fly and not need drugs to do so, ig?

How do you feel about your own writing?

Eh, my pre 2010 stuff I think are lame but meaningful as my baby steps as one has to start from somewhere in this dimension?. I think I hit my stride in 2020 when I entered my erie sacrilegious era but so far, I'm pleased that my writing is passable and singularly me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Pfft I've never given a damn about what is popular in the greater fandom or fleeting reading trends. Readers will get from me stories under my terms as I've had to fight tooth and nail to get to where I'm at and so, this tentacle writes for themself first and foremost and secondarily to entertain. I am a showtentacle at heart after all. I do enjoy when readers read, mind, but love it most when they take this betentacled offering from me and savor it, like really eat into it and see the wormy layers of plot and intricacy I've baked into there. Just envisioning them consuming, ingesting my work, feeling the trailing of my worms down their throat, into their belly to really get what I'm putting down is wonderful. Hoy, my minions! Feel free to join in! @naerwenia @vopecata @coiled-dragon @s-dei @lmshady

@depraveddove​ @the-bar-sinister​ @unchartedperils​ @sweet7simple​ @meltic-daze​

@misch3fbunni3​ @autistichalsin​ @villaindevotee​ @coffinliqueur​ @scroggles​

@goth-automaton​ @azulas-daddy-kink​ @katophoenix​

and whoever else wants to I'm not your parental aid (edit: what is with tumblr not tagging ppl ahhh)

[tsel-bas]

Elegant/Celestial/Sunny Sisasystem

Warning: Headmates may not turn out exactly as described. Anything and everything can be changed to fit your system. Content Warning for potential eye strain in dividers.

Name(s): Altair, Caelum, Orion, Sirius, Oberon

Pronouns: He/Him/His/His/Himself, Stell/Stellar/Stellars/Stellars/Stellarself, Co/Con/Stell/Stells/Constellationself, 💫/💫/💫s/💫s/💫self

Gender Identity: Libramasc, Eterigender, Celestae, Ethegender

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Gay

Preferred Terms: Masculine

Age: Ageless

Role: Emotenoir

Type: Willogenic

Source: @/tsel-bas

Description:

Oberon is the host or leader of this sisasystem and puts off an aura of authority. This usually causing him to have trouble speaking to others as they avoid stell due to said aura. However, co is actually very kind and makes it 💫 mission to make sure to help out his fellow headmates. Specifically helping them with certain emotions by taking them and dealing with them in a healthy manner that the headmate might not have been able to achieve.

Name(s): Atlas, Alastair, Aisling, Io, Jupiter

Pronouns: Ae/Aer/Aers/Aers/Aerself, Am/Amour/Amours/Amours/Amourself, In/Ink/Inks/Inks/Inkself, 🕯️/ 🕯️/ 🕯️s/ 🕯️s/ 🕯️self

Gender Identity: Demiboy, Celestiversic, Ethvifluid, Puremascian

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Heteroflexible

Preferred Terms: Masculine

Age: Ageless

Role: Copimeca-Forge

Type: Willogenic

Source: @/tsel-bas

Description:

Alastair exudes an elegant feeling to everyone around aer. Am is sophisticated and somewhat of a prick. In doesn’t mean to come off as rude, 🕯️ is unaware of the tone ae put off. Alastair has albinism and has trouble with amours sight due to it. Aer is extremely sensitive to light and 🕯️ burns in sunlight easily as well.

Name(s): Ash, Luca, Briar, Atlas, Skylar

Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs/Theirs/Themself Clou/Cloud/Clouds/Clouds/Cloudself, Rain/Rain/Rains/Rains/Rainself, 🌤️/🌤️/🌤️s/🌤️s/🌤️self

Gender Identity: Transmasc, Nonbinary, Tempesgender, Weathergender, Soft-Stormgender

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Pansexual

Preferred Terms: All

Age: Ageless/Ancient

Role: Vicarian

Type: Willogenic

Source: @/tsel-bas

Description:

Ash is a goofy person. Loving and always laughing and smiling. They are tied to the weather and have the ability to change it with enough effort. Think of RainbowDash from My Little Pony. Clou is also able to change the weather unintentionally, throug rains emotions. When🌤️ is upset it begins to rain, when they’re excited or happy it is sunny and a rainbow may be seen. Ash enjoys all kinds of weather, no matter what it is. Clou is particularly interested in storms and other forms of dangerous weather. Rain loves watching videos of tornadoes and wishes to see one for themselves.

Name(s): Eliana, Idalia, Mirri, Soleil, Tesni

Pronouns: She/Her/Hers/Herself, Solar/Solar/Solars/Solars/Solarself, Nebula/Nebula/Nebulas/Nebulas/Nebulaself, ☀️/☀️/☀️s/☀️s/☀️self

Gender Identity: Transfem, Solastellic, Sunpurine, Goldecorangelic

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Sapphic

Preferred Terms: Feminine

Age: Ancient

Role: Dream Weaver

Type: Willogenic

Source: @/tsel-bas

Description:

Just like Nioma, Idalia’s identity is connected to a celestial body. This time, being Sol (Earth’s sun), or a sun in general. She enjoys astrology and astronomy just like Nioma, who is actually solars younger sister. Nebula likes to research the stars and suns in the vast universe. Whether that be the vast space in your Innerworld, or the universe outside of it. ☀️ enjoys giving other headmates bright and peaceful dreams as they sleep. Making sure that nightmares don’t flood their heads.

Name(s): Lune, Nioma, Zelina, Lunette, Saleena

Pronouns: Shx/Hxr/Hxrs/Hxerself, Lunar/Lunar/Lunars/Lunars/Lunarself, Nova/Nova/Novas/Novas/Novaself, 🌙/🌙/🌙s/🌙s/🌙self

Gender Identity: Female, Lunastellic, Stariverus, Moonvesil

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Lesbian

Preferred Terms: Feminine

Age: Ancient

Role: Diffuser

Type: Willogenic

Source: @/tsel-bas

Description:

Nioma is kind of like a personification of the moon. Shx enjoys documenting the moon phases and what happens during them. Lunar is somewhat spiritual and very into astronomy and astrology. Nova is kind and caring, making sure hxr fellow headmates/alters are doing ok. The moon is intertwined with 🌙s sense of identity, affecting every little part of it. Lunars gender, pronouns, and actions are affected by the moon and it’s phases.

[mystery-salad]

I can't decide between Imekaari and Strair so one of them for the ask game?

BOTH because their answers are so different it's fun~

Cut for space!

IMEKAARI

01. Full name: Imekaari

02. Best friend: Trahearne, Io, and Lace (the last two belong to @ascalonianpicnic 💖)

03. Sexuality: Gay

04. Favorite color: that shade of gold you get with gold leaf

05. Relationship status: taken twice over but always open still to flings or more love

06. Ideal mate: someone who's diligent, able to handle themself capably on an adventure, inquisitive, and attentive to friends

07. Turn-ons: playing with his ears or hair, low-riding pants, sultry music

08. Favorite food: mangos!

09. Crushes: it was the two people he's luckily dating now!

10. Favorite music: folk

11. Biggest fear: failing his friends when it counts and one of them dies 🙃

12. Biggest fantasy: the world staying safe long enough that he can actually take a fully relaxed vacation with no looming duties or meetings or parties for the team to attend. Things being so settled that no one even talks about the Commander and her friends any more and they can all live quietly

13. Bad habits: he fidgets so much he ends up fraying the hems of his clothes, he's trying to keep it to scarves. He also overworries about his friends

14. Biggest regret: not leaving to look for Lace because he didn't want to leave Io in the hands of a different field medic...they needed so much help and he didn't go looking...

15. Best kept secrets: the tapestry of torture scars across his torso, arms, and neck. This is why all this clothes have long sleeves and a high collar or thick choker.

16. Last thought: Hm, I know this was effective enough in healing as is, but if I redirect the magic from here to there...

17. Worst romantic experience: He's actually been very lucky in love! No disastrous or really bad at all experiences. He's good at getting out the moment his gut tells him to.

18. Biggest insecurity: he's made his own medical field as a necromancer, from scratch! And while it's amazing and he's talented and a great field medic, he constantly worries he's not doing enough, not effective enough, going to slip up.

19. Weapon of choice: staff and daggers! He usually hangs back enough from combat to focus on healing

20. Role Model: Trahearne

STRAIR

01. Full name: Strair

02. Best friend: technically Lace and Liaur both, but they'd say none

03. Sexuality: asexual

04. Favorite color: blue

05. Relationship status: single technically

06. Ideal mate: none

07. Turn-ons:

- in their conditioned opinion: pain, getting thrown around, seeing their own blood, someone knowing what they want and taking it

- if they weren't conditioned at all: none, they genuinely wouldn't even be interested in sex at all full stop

08. Favorite food: stir fried rice

09. Crushes: Illiadde none

10. Favorite music: heavy metal

11. Biggest fear:

- what they think: none

- actual: mistakes catching up with them and forcing them to realize how awful their life actually is. Learning they're actually not happy with their life

12. Biggest fantasy: none

13. Bad habits: heavy alcohol and abusive sex addictions

14. Biggest regret: they think they have none but boy one day will they regret ever taking a job with the order of whispers

15. Best kept secrets: unknowingly, the way they were conditioned into their bad habits. It's a secret purely because they think it's normal so never talk about it

16. Last thought: he look like a fun use of time tonight~

17. Worst romantic experience: Rhosill (sorry rhosill sorry I'm so sorry it's not your fault and you deserve better than hooking up with Strair, and you belong to ascalonianpicnic)

18. Biggest insecurity: that they have no redeeming features outside of their effective work and sex life

19. Weapon of choice: daggers and a shortbow

20. Role Model: N/A

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

so uncomfortable

okay here's a tough question

I'm going to force myself to think about

lightly though and with only my fingertips

when did I become embarrassed for how and why

I choose to love someone?

I know that I try to be thoughtful and considerate with love

my mind is always looking for glimmers of joy

and in love everything sparkles a bit

especially if it's romantic love

just noticed a fly died in my tealight that's awkward

when I choose to love someone

I become aware of them and notice things

I do it naturally but in affection

I love to focus more on the things that bring delight

affection can be the beauty when things are bleak

if the first root stems from childhood

I could never seem to love anyone rightly or enough

to inspire them to keep loving me every day

suddenly their mood would change and I'd be

a stranger they hated or needed to get away from

god I hope I don't make my children feel that way

when I get overwhelmed and my first instinct is to isolate

but I usually explain to them what is happening with me

and reassure them that the situation has me out of sorts

and that I love taking care of them even if I get stressed

they never seem to worry that my love will go away

so I broke that cycle which means now

I have to address it in interpersonal connections

and the truth is that I can only love as me authentically

and value the opinions of people able to receive my love

instead of the projections of those who just can't seem

to find anything right with how I show affection

or think I'm not quite grateful enough for their regard

i fucking thank my alexa ok I know I'm appreciative

my youngest and wildest is named Theo

but at the park he would introduce himself as Io

and then when people called him by this name he gave

he wouldn't answer to it because he was so used

to listening for his given name Theo

he didn't know how to answer to the name he gave himself

I think that's how I feel right now

and people don't usually have to give themself a name

or maybe they do and I just haven't found something I

resonated with yet so I can make the connection to

something that does make sense in my mind

If I haven't been given love in the way that attuned

to my authentic self but only to the self

I constructed to survive the rejection of being myself

then of course I'm terrified of being given love

that will see me entirely and not go away

depending on the day or dysregulated mindset

you can dream of something your entire life

and suddenly feel like freezing or running

the moment you feel like it may approach you

new things are scary even if they are wanted

most of the love I was given was built upon enmeshment

I fell into the patterns easily because they are based

in deep insecurity and manipulation

I broke that cycle in relation to my children

the mother wound determines your inner voice

so now I need to break the cycle in relation

to myself and the people I choose to love

control is not love and healthy boundaries are not control

but loving limits you place around yourself to

protect yourself from enmeshment (ironic)

it's also nice when those are communicated

full moon this weekend in a time for release

moving out of cancer season (whew)

and into leo season and my ascending aspect

is purring and growling in my ear

I'm calling him Firenze or

Novafeltria if she's feeling divinely feminine

my inner royal court of wands

and we all know wands connect us to the creative

sacral cauldrons that forge our passion that is controlled

by the breath of our ever expanding and contracting diaphragm

which is like the function and structure of the iris of the eye

they both adjust the size of the opening (or aperture)

controlling the depth of field or focus of the scene

and how much light is exposed to the focal plane

I think all this means that I have to stop being a filter

or something and just accept my intensity?

I got a little lost in the constellation I was trying to draw

but it still sparkles, doesn't it?

I will sparkle for the right people

and accept that some people just don't like stars

and that's just something they have to deal with, man

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

bg3 character development questions for Io Dein!

4, 14 and 30

Ooh these are fun ones!!

4. If they were a companion, where would you find them?

Io would be at the temple ruins, inspecting the statue outside and trying to read the inscription. They would talk to tav about how they're pretty sure there's something in the temple itself but they haven't been able to get in themself to investigate because of the assholes blocking the way. Either that, or they'd be in Waukeen's Rest trying to talk a Fist down from attacking them- they'd made a beeline for the town after seeing a sign for it in the hopes of finding some semblance of familiarity, not knowing that it was about to be attacked.

14. Hobbies?

She paints! I would say dancing, but that's part of Eilistraee's whole deal so I don't think she would consider it a hobby. I think she embroiders, too (after all, what is embroidery but painting with thread?). She'll add little details to her and her fellow clerics' clothing, and paint little things/add things to her patients' belongings to cheer them up (especially the kids').

30. What is my favorite thing about them?

I'm really proud of their design, honestly. It's not the most out-there thing in the world but I love the effect I was able to get with their hair (undecided on whether it's their natural color or if they dyed it) and I think about their eye color (one black, one white) at least once a week. I'm glad I made them just, like, a Regular Person pre-tadpole, too. It's a nice break from the intense backstories I've given to most of my other characters, and thinking about how a normal civilian with no adventuring experience would react to the wild shit they got thrown into has been really fun. A cleric's first actual experience with a devil being some smarmy asshole with shareholder vibes who tries to neg you into making a deal with him??? Wonderful, beautiful, 10/10. They're my tav for a shared save with my partner so seeing the differences in dynamics between them and Thalas has been really interesting. Io's been the de facto face but has been backing off recently so Thalas can fuck Karlach bond with the others.

[incendiorum-arch]

southernwood !

southernwood :   how seriously does your muse take themself ?   do they prefer a solemn   &   intellectual atmosphere or do they delight in jokes   &   banter ?  

a little of column a, a little of column b. I think it depends on who they're around and what they think of that person, tbh! io often defaults to fairly serious. passive expressions, little face movement. around people they're more comfortable with or around often, they'll start bantering more. especially if that person will banter back. they love being a little shit with someone who will dish it back.

around people io is around a lot, people they trust, io will lighten up quite a bit more. they're more playful and relaxed and enjoy continuing fun banter with the people they love.

@timewept , botanical hcs.

[victoriams]

Hermes had always prided himself on his intelligence. Yes, he could make weapons out of just about anything, and, yes, he could decipher lines of code that would look like gibberish to most people with ease. But, more than that – he had a knack for survival. Not in the traditional sense that had allowed him to win his games, but in the sense that he had managed to circumnavigate life in the Capitol for the last twenty-five odd years – managed to charm the Capitolites into thinking he was on their side. Into giving him riches and opportunity and safety, despite being vehemently opposed to their every way of life.

See, some victors had a nasty habit of running their mouths in front of the wrong people. Hermes, on the other hand, vetted their companions carefully. They were sure never to say the wrong things to the wrong people – not only for their own wellbeing, but for that of their wife, their daughter, their family in District Three. They couldn't risk being labelled a traitor, a rebel – a nuisance to President Snow's agenda, so, when they were in the Capitol, they did their best to keep their more unsavoury opinions to themself – only ever showing the Capitolites what they so desperately clamoured to see.

It is also why, when MADGE UNDERSEE asks him what's wrong, Hermes bristles, ever so slightly. He thinks that Io once told him that the girl had been from the districts – eleven, maybe? Or twelve? But that didn't necessarily mean she was sympathetic to them anymore. For all Hermes knew, Madge Undersee could be the most pro-Capitol woman in the world – and providing her with even a hint of his true feelings towards this place could spell disaster. Instead, he nods and offers her a tight smile. "That's me." They say, offering a mock salute. "Nah, just... getting sponsors is a bit trickier this year, you know? It's like the all-star arena. Tough to stand out from the pack."

madge  would  never  know  the  struggle  of  attempting  to  grab  the  attention  of  ignorant  sponsors  .  she  knew  what  people  in  the  capitol  could  be  like  ,  how  easily  their  heads  could  be  turn  when  drama  was  involved  .  if  it  was  mundane  ,  it  was  boring  ,  and  madge  would  never  understand  how  their  brains  worked  .  even  years  after  living  with  everyone  there  ,  her  mind  was  always  stuck  back  in  twelve  .  she  thought  of  katniss  each  year  ,  of  home  and  what  they  would  think  about  her  being  in  the  center  of  it  all  .  perhaps  she  was  selfish  in  that  way  ,  no  different  from  other  capitolites  who  yearned  for  a  spotlight  to  shine  on  them  .  or  maybe  madge  just  wanted  to  be  seen  .  

while  most  citizens  were  going  feral  over  this  year’s  twist  ,  madge  was  dreading  it  .  she  didn’t  want  to  watch  ,  didn’t  want  to  sit  in  her  apartment  and  watch  some  her  friends  go  back  into  that  arena  .  each  year  was  growing  increasingly  more  difficult  than  the  previous  ,  but  what  could  she  do  about  it  ?  not  watch  ?  no  ,  they’d  surely  punish  her  father  for  such  blatant  disobedience  .

she  stayed  silent  ,  watched  from  afar  and  appeared  when  she  was  beckoned  to  do  so  .  if  that  meant  sitting  down  and  minding  her  own  business  ,  then  so  be  it  .  madge  had  no  real  friends  in  the  capitol  ,  nobody  she  felt  comfortable  enough  to  cling  to  anymore  and  so  she  took  the  loneliness  as  somewhat  of  a  blessing  .  she  needed  to  find  light  in  that  darkness  .  there’s  barely  acknowledgment  when  hermes  originally  sits  down  ,  figuring  they  just  needed  a  seat  instead  of  her  company  ,  but  she’ll  take  whatever  she  could  get  .  it’s  when  her  name  falls  that  madge  turns  her  attention  completely  towards  him  .  a  smile  ,  something  genuine  ,  flashes  briefly  and  she  nods  just  once  in  return  .    “   yeah  ,  madge  .   ”    shoulders  lift  a  bit  in  a  shrug  ,  but  at  least  she  recognizes  him  .    “   hermes  ,  right  ?  sixty - ninth  ?   ”    she  knew  it  was  right  ,  but  she’d  play  dumb  .  after  all  ,  that’s  what  all  good  capitol  citizens  did  best  .    “   is  everything  okay  ?   ”

[randoimago]

Bucci Gang As Cats

FANDOM: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Character(s): Bruno Bucciarati, Leone Abbacchio, Fugo, Narancia Ghirga, Guido Mista, Giorno Giovanna, Trish Una

Type of Request: Headcanons, Self Indulgent

Word Count: 958

Note(s): Hi you guys might remember me doing this for the main boys of Part 4. Well I finished Golden Wind and I’m in a self indulgent mood so I’m doing this for Bruno’s Gang.

And I know some of the cat names are a bit of a stretch, but it’s fine. Don’t worry about it, I’m just dumb.

Abbacchio

Oh he hates this. He's stuck in this tiny, stinky body unable to do a thing. What can a cat even do? They're useless!

Even more annoyed because he can't drink go numb anything. He's a cat, who in their right mind would give a cat wine. Especially the good wine too.

Abbacc-nya-io definitely hisses at everyone that tries to get close (except Bruno, of course). If Mista or Narancia try saying shit then their faces will get some new scars.

Is so pissed off and embarrassed if his S/O starts calling him cute and petting him. He hisses at them as a warning but his dumb cat body is purring like a motorboat due to the affection.

Bruno

Very confused as to why he's suddenly small and everything is big. Thinks that the enemy stand did this but then he realizes that he doesn't have hands or an actual voice.

Definitely a bit annoyed with the situation but nothing can be done right now so he'll go along with it. He still tries to bark, er, meow out orders to the others but it's just this cat yelling.

Thankfully there's some people with braincells in the group so Bruno isn't too worried. Does try to do things on his own like scouting around the area or keeping a lookout. Might end up getting in a catfight with some strays in his searching.

Becomes embarrassed if his S/O holds him close or baby talks him like a cat. Trust me, he loves the affection but in this situation he has very mixed feelings about it all.

Fugo

Y'all thought Abbacchio was angry, Furgo is growling and screaming at everyone like a damn feral. Acts more like a bobcat than a tiny kitty with how aggressive he will be.

His claws will be used and abused with the amount of scars he's giving people. Do not pet him, don't try to talk to him, he will kill someone as a cat.

Someone probably tries calling animal control on Fugo due to his behavior and he's either on the run or Bruno or someone is helping talk their way out of Fugo being thrown into the pound.

Okay but he's still mean if his S/O tries petting him or something. He won't use his claws, but he'll still growl a bit. Might bite (not hard though) as a warning. He does get super flustered and tries to hide if he hears his S/O state how cute he is as a cat.

Giorno

Is very confused at the situation, but like Bruno, goes along with it. There's not much else he can really do at the moment.

Thankfully he still has his stand so he'll be able to be somewhat useful. Also has his intelligence so he'll be scouting around and such as well.

Would absolutely play the part of a cute cat and get affection from others as a way to distract so the rest of Bucciarati's team can do stuff.

Rolls his eyes a bit when his S/O start talking about how cute he is, but he will let them pet him and he'll purr a bit so they'll be happy. This experience isn't one that'll happen again, so might as let their S/O enjoy themself a bit.

Mista

Meowsta doesn't realize he's a cat when he becomes one. He's still standing on two legs and trying to point at people to question them but ends up looking like Satan possessed this kitty.

When he does realize then he is very annoyed until he realizes that cute people like cats. But it's also a bit demeaning in a way.

Will try stretching his legs over his head and all the weird poses cats make because no way in hell can he do this in his own body.

He will want to be turned back though. He can't hold a gun like this. Also he can't actually cuddle and kiss his S/O the way he wants to.

Narancia

He is screaming when he realizes he's become a cat. Someone thinks a cat is being abused with how hysterical he is.

Also hates being a cat because what can he even do besides be cute (which he already was before the incident).

Okay but it's so cute when he activates his stand to scout around. Just this little cat having a window over their eye and meowing out what Lil Bomber is finding.

Nyarancia probably realizes being a cat isn't so bad when his S/O picks him up and holds him to their chest. Like this is nice. I mean he already lays on top of them as a person but doing so as a cat is a lot more relaxing. Boy is purring his ass off.

Trish

Okay being a cat isn’t too bad. Doesn’t smell as bad as Mista. I mean Trillsh probably still complains quite a bit about the cat body but no one is able to understand what she’s saying.

Trish herself already acts like a cat (wanting to be pampered, for example) so she doesn’t really act much different. Still turns her nose up if anyone tries to feed her anything that’s not the freshest or most expensive seafood.

Does hiss quite a bit if people she doesn’t know gets too close, but she won’t put up too much of a fight unless they’re going to try something. Might pretend that she’s going to scratch Mista just to mess with him.

Loves having her S/O pick her up as a cat. Of course, when she becomes her human self again then she’s still going to ask her S/O to try to pick her up and carry her places. They started this so it’s on them.

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all��� which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[incendiorum]

future me, does this get long? I'm preemptively putting it under a read-more. but I think a shipping guide is in order for io because they are. io.

first thing's first. io has the biggest trust issues in the entire world. and they are complicated trust issues. they are 'iovita's trust in people has been so thoroughly shattered that they genuinely, cannot, trust someone completely. ever.' no matter what, io is always going to have those... thoughts. they don't want those thoughts. they really, really don't. no one hates io's inability to fully trust more than they do.

I'd go so far as to say lucius is the last person they actually, fully trusted. not because he was extra special or anything, but because col is the one that stomped everything into smithereens for io. their parents had certainly fucked them over in the trust department, too, don't get me wrong. but col is the one who really... really fucked them up. if their son that they raised and loved could betray them like that? then anyone could.

which is why I am perfectly okay with io's trust issues being a complete deal breaker for relationships. it's not for everyone. and there needs to be a lot of patience involved to get io to talk about it.

io is demiromantic. they need a foundation before they start experiencing romantic attraction, and even then it's a shot in the dark. io loves so, so rarely. canonically they've only loved three people in 1,800 years. throughout the years of me writing them here on tumblr? a mere handful of ships. I know what io's type is. I also know that io's type is often more of a physical attraction than a tentatively-possible-romantic one.

beyond that, io doesn't really have a gender preference or anything, really. I... think. I do feel like it's fluctuated over their many years. I think for a while they were mostly attracted to masculinity. and more recently more attracted to femininity. but it's not a requirement at all, or anything. just... something I've noticed.

io has trauma. io has a lot of trauma. io does not handle their own trauma well. they have anger issues, they're prone to picking stupid fights, and they tend to lash out if their issues are brought up suddenly. they also tend to self-isolate and shut down if they don't want anyone to acknowledge them struggling. they dissociate. they have very bad nightmares. they sleep incredibly lightly and in fits and starts throughout a day and night.

they are also a high-functioning alcoholic. a drink, two drinks a day. casually so. but if the day is bad they will drink themself into a stupor and live to regret it the next day.

io has ongoing trauma too. the hounds are constantly on their trail, and this leads to obsessive hyper vigilance from io. constantly rechecking doors and windows and locks to the point of breakdown. they hate it. they don't want to do it. but they are, at no point, entirely safe anywhere. io no longer knows what it means to be entirely relaxed. they are always watching for their hunters.

and on that note, io kills people. specifically their hunters, but if others get caught in the middle of it all then they don't really care. io will intentionally hunt their own hunters. and io is not a merciful, quick-killer. io is a cat with a mouse and they use their hunters as an excuse to release pent-up frustration and anger. it's not pretty. and io thinks its fun.

io can love someone who won't accept that, but it's a recipe for a failure. io greatly prefers a penchant for violence in their lovers. a willing one. they like someone who can make the call to kill someone if necessary. like recognizes like, and all that.

adair! you say. where are the good things about loving io? and to that I say I'm sorry I emphasized so many of the bad things here, but I feel like it's important to stress that io is not an easy person to love.

when io does love someone they start to open up and show traits that not everyone is privy to. io can be playful, and a bit childish sometimes. they smile more for the people they love. they allow themself embarrassment over silly matters. they let people see them indulging in silly little habits. their love for all things ocean and beach related. their seashell collection. catching little lizards and snakes and showing them to you whether you like it or not. wading around in a river because there's pretty rocks to look at on the river bottom. their love for soft, squishy comforts.

io in love is devoted. io is loyal to the person they love and the person they love only.

they're protective. they're a little territorial (not... jealous. territorial - 'this is mine'). they'll kill for you, they'll take a blow for you, they'd die for you. winning io's tenuous trust is to earn their heart and their loyalty to the very end. only something really bad would shatter that.

they like sharing mundane, domestic moments. they like sharing the hobbies they love. they're more physically affectionate than they'll ever be with anyone else.

io always pulls their weight. they cook, they clean, they make the house a home I can assure you. they're handy as all-get-out, too, and love building most anything from ground up. they have an entire treasure trove of beautiful, hidden natural places to take you to. they will fully utilize inter mundos's ability to travel anywhere to... well, travel anywhere. you want dinner in another country? want to spend a week together at an isolated beach? they can do it. they want to do it.

they're incredibly patient with others' trauma, because they've been there, done that. are they as good with their own trauma? god. fuck no. but they can treat others' trauma much better. quietly, and with grace.

so yes, there's a lot of hard things to deal with when it comes to loving io and being loved by io, but there's a lot of good things, too.

anyway. my point is that io's hard to love. I greatly prefer ic interaction before thinking about ships, so that I really know how io feels and reacts to a person. long-term writing partners can, honestly, get so much more leeway with this simply because I trust them.

that being said, I am always open to flirting interactions, crushes, and unrequited love. I'll never say no to those! I just ask that you understand this silly little witch of mine a) has sooo much baggage and b) loves so goddamn rarely you can count their past loves on one hand and still have fingers left over.

[sentience-if]

as a thought experiment, may i ask how the other ROs would have reacted if they had found the MC instead of Val??

like, we see the MC visits Val a lot, and we see a dependency there that is semi-financial (in addition to other things) and how Val has impacted the MC somewhat (although a major part of that depends on the player's decisions about the MC's personality, there is still a foundation that orbits Val, at least i think so). im just curious both what fundamental changes would have happened to the MC had someone else "been their Val", as well as if these other ROs would have even... "been a Val", so to speak? or would they have turned the MC over to someone else (idk, jailers? scientists?? a convent???) only to never see them again-- or, perhaps, meant to do that but then kept seeing the MC anyway due to a "weird" urge to check in or maybe due to coincidence...????

idk, just sounded like a fun thought experiment of a scenario lol

sorry this took me like 2 business months. spoiler-free edition because I have in fact already written the scene where io and Val meet

Klaus: if they'd met when Klaus was acting under an official context, he'd have ignored Io entirely, as focusing on the well being of anyone who isn't the High Priest is extremely not his job. If it was just Klaus out on his own, he'd probably have enlisted the help of one of his personal (non-religious) friends, paying them to keep an eye on this weird stranger until they're recovered. Idk how well this would go as I haven't put a single thought towards what kind of people Klaus' city friends are, but he would only maintain a mild, passing interest. Io would have little to no idea he was ever involved.

Kat: Io would be a lot less naive, for sure. they're not spending any time wondering if they're different because they already know they are. kat's entire mission shifts to figuring Io out and she's totally open with them the entire time. This would be... a very different game lol

Connie: torn between taking Io to Klaus and taking them to their family. the latter wins out since Con knows Klaus doesn't have time for this. Io becomes the weird family friend that lives in the guest room for a few months until they finally move out, a house just down the street. depending on Io's personality, I could even see Connie letting them move in to their own house. This version of Io is the best at passing at a normal citizen, but maybe in the end has the biggest crisis about Not Being Like Other Girls, since they have such a good "normal" to compare themself to

Ira: current-day Ira would be pretty similar to Val- fully taking Io in, supporting them and being a friend they can't live without; though of course, with far less illegal activities lol. I imagine Io would have read every book Ira owns five times over by now. Ira five years ago, however, was in no place to take care of someone else. they would have done their best, but it would not have gone well. I'll stop there bc honestly. spoilers.

[macgyvermedical]

Hey Mac

This is not about fiction or whatever

I had a patient,arrested during my shift-my first patient to die.

They're Old and CPR broke their ribs under my palms-the feeling is aweful,whenever i recall it,it sends shivers down my spine-i did everything i could but they didn't come back

I don't think i can handle this-the feeling of the ribs,the shock of the first time i just don't know.

My Colleagues weren't exactly helpful and my therapist isn't available right now and i can't find resources to get over this

I know i did what i could do but it feels so bad

Any help is appreciated

Sorry i can't give more info

I am honored that you shared this with me. It's such a hard experience to have and I wish I could hug you and tell you its gets better.

Watching someone die for the first time, especially watching someone die violently- and codes are pretty violent when it comes down to it- is one of the scariest, weirdest, and hardest things to experience as a medical professional.

You saw this person alive. Maybe you talked to them. Maybe you connected with them in some small way. And then you watched them pass on. And you helped try to stop that from happening.

And it didn't work, because statistically it usually doesn't.

But in the midst of that, you and those you worked with tried hard to save them. Someone jerked their head around trying to force an airway down their throat. Someone pushed harsh drugs into their vasculature that in any other circumstance would cause their fingers and toes to lose circulation. Someone pushed a button that sent hundreds of joules of electricity through their body. You pushed your own hands into their chest and their ribs broke and you kept pushing.

It feels... inhuman. Almost.

But something to think about- this patient came to the hospital for your help and the help of your coworkers. When asked if they would like everything done to save their life in the event that their heart stopped, they said yes.

They said yes because it was worth all that crap for the chance that they could live. And it didn't work, but so what? You didn't do it because it was particularly likely to work. You did those compressions because breaking ribs and scratching up a throat and causing a possible neck injury and broken teeth and maybe even drilling an IO into bone was worth it to the patient that they could have that chance at living a little longer.

You did your job. Your entire job there was to do exactly what you did, and do it exactly how you did it. You were supposed to keep pushing even when the ribs broke. That is what the patient themself wanted you to do.

I'm sorry that your colleagues couldn't help you. I hope that there is someone you can talk to in person about this, whether it is your therapist or a friend who works in medicine.

When a non-medical someone watches someone die as traumatically as being coded, it's kind of expected that they'll have some trauma around it. Meanwhile, when someone medical sees that, they're expected to just go on with their day. It's not fair, but it's also why it's important to keep your counselor and be able to talk to them truthfully about what you're experiencing, and get some good coping skills so that when this happens to someone in your shoes ten years from now, you can give them the support you would have wanted.

[bloodgoddarlin]

What do you think your OCs (polycule included) reactions would be to finding out their s/o is pregnant? (Like, it wasn’t exactly planned kinda thing?)

oh MAN here we go long post time

c!Techno/Hades & Titus

needless to say, they both absolutely ELATED.

tech actually cries a little because he never thought he'd be able to have something like this, with the blood god's curse and all.

he and titus spend every second they're awake getting ready for the baby.

regardless of which one of them got you pregnant, this kid is gonna two dads who love them so very, very much and would give them the whole world on platter made of gold if they could.

tech spends WEEKS baby proofing the house, even making a room to store all his weapons in. wouldn't want the little one hurting themself!

with some help from phil, titus builds a beautiful nursey for the baby... he is a craftsman, after all.

in the later stages, the both of them pamper you to hell and back. it gets a little insufferable sometimes, actually-- but just tell them you wanna be alone for a while and they'll back off.

brutus

at first, he's a little shocked.

didn't think he'd get this far with someone before...

but once he gets over it (as well some doubts that he probably doesn't deserve this), he's very, very happy.

he lays in bed with you with his hand over your stomach, wanting to feel the baby kick.

you have to explain to him that's not really how it works, but it's the thought that counts!

he loves you & this baby so very much, you're guaranteed protection for life.

caesar

he's a bit conflicted.

after all, he didn't do so well with brutus... why would this child be any different?

you ease his worries and concerns-- he was alone last time, and he had no idea what he was doing then. this was different! he had you, now, and you weren't going to leave him.

after that, he tries his best not to be so pessimistic-- after all, this was you, were were talking about. and he loved and trusted you with all his heart.

io

io's got them ~commitment issues~ so it's a little hard for him to wrap his brain around at first.

he didn't think he'd have to settle down like this in his life. he wasn't that kind of man.

but, looking in your eyes, seeing how excited and happy you were for this child? it makes him want to become that kind of man.

even if the idea of being father absolutely fucking terrifies him.

for you? he'd give the world.

lucius

he's inwardly kicks himself for not being more careful.

it takes a lot of talking and figuring things out, but, eventually you two decide that, yeah, you want this kid. you wanna start a family together.

he start arranging things both for their eventual birth of your child, and also for the wedding that you're definitely going to have.

after all, if you're gonna be raising this child and having a family, might as well go all in right?

he was probably going to ask you soon anyway, so why wait?

persephone

she's a bit shocked, and confused, and a lot of other things.

but mostly, she's happy.

she loves you, and if having this child with you would make you happy, she'll become the mother she never knew she could be.

she does a lot of the same things that tech does-- prep the house like crazy, make as safe as possible, make sure you're happy and healthy, maybe smother you a bit but shush.

being a woman herself, she understands the pain you're gong through though, so she knows when to leave you be.

blood god

when the warriors and disciples find out that not only are you pregnant, but the child you're carrying belongs to the blood god himself? you instantly are catapulted to goddess status.

and when the man himself discovers it when he visits you next? well, you're basically set for all eternity.

he takes you back to his home in the godly realm, and it's there that he gives you the gift of immortality.

this way, you could be with him and you could raise your child together.

oddly enough, he finds you even more irresistible than he did before you were about to bare him a child.

the warriors are soon fighting not just for their god, but for you and your child. their name their children after you and baby, which is hard to wrap your head around at first.

the disciples, of which you were once apart of, pray to you and wish you good health and prosperity in the aftermath of your assentation.

it's a lot to live up to, but he promises you that you won't have to adhere to any godly responsibilities; as long as you were his lover and spouse, all that was required of you was that you bore him children and stayed looking beautiful forever.

magnus

like tech and his little brother, he is SO excited.

he loves you, after all! why wouldn't he be?

he calls for a grand celebration feast, and it's the best food you've had in a long, long time.

he refuses to let you walk for long when you're far enough along; he will simply pick you up without warning and carry to where ever you want to go.

[flowers-of-io]

asher for the accurate depictions meme!

1. Self-loathing and blame. It's so interesting to compare the ways Asher and Eris approach their respective situations. I agree with what @allteacher wrote about her, that she sort of sees herself mirrored in how others see her and is constantly proving them (herself) wrong, constantly reassuring herself that she hasn't gone mad and paranoid and lost in her purpose; but she never blames herself. I can't recall a single line of hers where she says, oh, I'm a terrible person, I did this abhorrent thing to myself and people are right in their judgement of me. She suffers from survivor's guilt and blames herself for things like not helping Omar or not saving Vell or trusting Toland, but interestingly enough she is quite reasonable in that guilt and doesn't blame herself abstractly. She knows what she had to do in order to survive and I believe she struggled with it for some time after returning to the Tower, but it doesn't seem to haunt her that much anymore. She rightfully blames the Hive, and sees vengeance.

Asher however spins it just the other way. Yes, he hates the Vex and gladly tasks us with killing Brakion, but I don't think that act of vengeance helps quell his guilt in any way. He blames himself for everything about the accident. He blames himself that it's happened in the first place, that he is unable to find a cure, that his Ghost also got changed and is suffering, that he cannot bear to kill it, and so on. Like Eris, he seethes with anger and that anger propels him to move forward and seek a way out, but where Eris directs that anger towards the enemy, he has it pointed only at himself. I've been musing lately on how one's relationships with others mirror their own relationship with themself and how the undue criticism towards people is often the criticism you have towards yourself; a part of my own therapy, but also incredibly interesting in terms of character study. Asher's roughness and criticism and constant blaming directed at others (us, Zavala, Ikora, his fireteam, just everyone except Eris really) is more than anything his own self-blame and anger. I love (though it breaks my heart) the scene where he lashes out at Ikora for suggesting he consults various people about his affliction; I think he is really yelling at himself for not being able to find a cure and save his own life, and her proposals are just a burning reminder of that.

2. Fear. Of course there's the paralyzing terror of sand in the hourglass running out--he doesn't know if his Ghost can still rez him and is afraid to test this (and considers himself a coward for it). But he is afraid of so many other things: a connection with the Vex, having people close, losing them and them losing him. Io is as much a sanctuary to him as it is a hideout, and Asher Mir's One Way Ticket loretab captures it better than I ever could tbh.

3. The way he connects with people. I wonder to what extent he flinches from human contact because he is afraid of quite literally dying on them. His relationship with Eris is both intimate and aloof, and long before his ?death? has she written openly about the possibility of him dying in a sort-of way of preparing herself for it (spoiler: it didn't work, it never does). I think they have always been holding hands only halfway, ready to let go any moment when life got too fleeting and the ropes broke. There's that passage from Marasenna about loosely tethered ships and I see this being somewhat this way.

The way he connects with us (the Guardian) is also notable because at first he doesn't allow himself for anything resembling warmth or emotion--not until we return from the Pyramidion for the first time. He's so scared of us going there, and I think the first time he talks to us openly is only when we come back victorious and alive. One of his out-dialogue lines was "Don't die", ffs. The Gensym Knight armour is all 'oh don't fool yourself by thinking these things will protect you from the harshness of battle' and 'I have no use for mawkish sentimentality, I just need you to stay alive'. He keeps his distance because he's terrified of us dying on him.

He doesn't speak to his fireteam, and I wonder if it's because they remind him of his great failure or whether he secretly blames himself for getting them into it, or maybe because he's, again, scared of getting close if he's gonna die and leave them grieving anyway. He just really keeps the tethers loose, something he acknowledges particularly about the relationship with Ikora, and that maybe he ought to allow for a little warmth on his part.

4. Fascination with the enemy. Oh I think this is a loretab to something from either CoO or Warmind, that letter where he replies to Eris he couldn't find anything about Nokris in his archives. He also asks her if she feels a strange fondness, or fascination, towards the being which changed her, and admits to admiring the Vex in a way; the intimacy of mutual destruction, the closer he gets to them in the attempt to wreck them the more he understands them. All the while being afraid of becoming them! His last stand in the Pyramidion illustrates this whole process, I think, his meandered relationship with that place and the Vex in general. He wishes to see their end but knows how valuable a force they are and would not let the Darkness have it, but he's willing to defend that place with his own blood I think because it is also his, in a convoluted and hard to grasp way. The bravery he couldn't summon up ever since the accident finally wins over the fear of death and he does rise up to fight and guard it, and walk through that gates again to face his own demons. He calls that radiolarian lake "his". I hate the ending of his part in Duress and Egress equally much as I love it, and the Exodus quest tears me up.