#that is THE costume that makes me go yeah. yeah this is the traffic light wearing hero i remember

[protect-namine]

it's been a few days and I'm still laughing over robin's default costume in gk. it's so bad man. went to interrogate the penguin in the game as tim and he said, "nah, the bats is dead so I'm not gonna take you seriously, go away kid" (non-verbatim) and internally I was like. I'm sorry tim but yeah, same. with THAT look? nah, that is not a good hero costume, that's a kid playing cosplay with a cheap costume bought from the department store.

I need to progress through this game fast enough so I can finally unlock his other outfits because man. the default one is NOT it

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Judd smut in Y/n's car? 😈

JUDD SMUT IN Y/N’S CAR !!!

Tags: fem! Reader, porn without plot, well I mean they talk like a little before they fuck, driving under the influence?, okay literally don’t do that pls idk why they did it in this fic, being low key inappropriate in front of kids, more weed smoking 🫶, judd has a HUGE HORSE COCK, he also degrades Y/n quite a bit, also like semi public sex??, it’s literally in a car, and once again very unprotected sex, PLEASE WRAP IT!!

Summary: they fuck in Y/n’s car after Judd got his taken away lmfao

Author’s note: SORRY this took me so long to write for some reason,, I hate school so much oml 😡 I was originally going to finish and post this yesterday but like then I got a bunch of unsolicited dick pics and I got scared and didn’t feel like writing smut anymore 🧍🏻🏃🏻‍♀️ anyways,, I’m back today and I’m fine, just traumatized. I love being a woman fr 💩

Judd smut in Y/n’s car

Word count; 3,9K

(smut under the cut)

Judd took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaling most of it through his nose but having the decency to turn his head slightly and exhaling the rest through the barely opened window. 

He flicked the burned tip out the window as well; cinder falling down and gathering in the cracks of where the window sat in the door. 

“You drive like a fucking grandma— drive faster,” He instructed.

You didn’t turn your head from the road. “I’m actually driving exactly what the speed limit allows. Fuck off. “ You grumbled.

The two of you were on the way back from one of Judd’s deals, which you were almost late to because Judd decided to leave 10 minutes behind schedule, forgetting you had to drive and refused to go too far over the speed limit. The deal itself had been pretty uninteresting; you sat in the car and watched as Judd handed the guy a plastic back and he handed your boyfriend the money. 

He got his car hijacked (parentsjacked) two weeks ago, because he got caught lighting an old building on fire. You were there too, actually, too drunk and stoned to care in the moment; but because Judd could be a pretty good boyfriend at times he covered up for you. 

“Yeah. Whatever. I need at least one of us to have a car.” He said, when you asked him about it. 

Immediately after, you had been prompted to Judd’s personal Uber. Not to mention he had to hide most of his,, not legal substances in the trunk of your car, hence why you were now even more adamant on following traffic rules as to not get pulled over by the cops. 

(Or found out by your mom, who already wasn’t a very big fan of your boyfriend) 

His raccoons had also made themselves at home in your backseat, at the moment the two of you were alone in the car but often there would be a couple of them napping in the back. 

Judd grumbled something in response that you didn’t quite hear, but you retorted; “Shut the fuck up. Why can’t you just act like a passenger princess, or something,” 

He opened and closed his mouth, cigarette hanging on his lips. “What the fuck did you just call me?” 

You smiled a little. “That’s what you are, babe. You’re my passenger princess,” 

Blinking slowly, he put the cigarette out in the ashtray he had placed between the front seats and stared at you blankly. “What the hell are you talking about? You think I look like a princess?” He was baffled. 

You suppressed a chuckle, and turned your head quickly to gauge his reaction. “I forgot you’re too edgy to use tiktok,” You murmured. When you opened it on your phone, he would sometimes stand behind you and glare at the screen over your shoulder, but that was all the exposure he’d had to the app. 

Judd frowned. “Why don’t you pull over and I’ll show you who the real fucking princess is.” It was half a threat, but none that you took too seriously. 

“Oh, yeah? You’d have to pay extra for that, Uber drivers don’t normally fuck their costumers.” You answered coyly, but he didn’t find your quip nearly as funny as you did. You turned back to the road, making sure you weren’t about to run into any middle schoolers as you neared Bridgeton Middle School. Judd didn’t say anything– but you felt his large hand slither up your leg, enclosing around your thigh and squeezing the fat there softly. 

He looked out the window to his side, refusing to grant you attention while he continued to massage your thigh; and glaring as you pulled into the parking lot. Judd had convinced you to skip school that day, so you could drive him to his stupid deal and you could smoke and get McDonald’s after. The first part of his plan went without a hitch, until you got incredibly high-horny and you ended up fucking in the bathroom at McDonald’s as well. Unfortunately, you had to leave sooner than intended; in a daze and desperate to sober up before you went and picked Jessi up from school. Coincidentally Nick as well, since, you know, Judd's parents took his car. 

You parked and turned to Judd, crawling half over to his seat and forcing him to look at you. His glare lessened as he stared at your grinning face so close to his; leaning in. You kissed him softly once, then twice, then three times, giggling and pulling away whenever he chased you. He growled and the hand on your thigh went to your waist, he pulled you in and was just about to kiss you properly, forcefully and roughly when a series of knocks came to your window. 

It was Jessi and Nick. You averted your head and let Judd kiss your cheek instead, gently pushing him back as you sat back down in your seat. You motioned for the two to come in.

Jessi opened the door, and allowed Nick to crawl inside first. “It smells like weed and junkfood in here.” She commented, a slight question in her statement as she crawled in, too, and closed the door behind her. 

You turned your body halfway in your seat, coming to face her. “Sure.” You ignored her comment. “Had a good day at school?” 

Both her and Nick nodded reluctantly. “Yeah. Can you help me with some maths-stuff later?” She asked and you wrinkled your nose; Maths was not something you were particularly good at, but you nodded and agreed to help her anyways.

Judd’s hand returned to your thigh and you glanced at him– he was staring blankly at the kids, but he met your eyes with raised eyebrows, indicating he wanted something from you. You hummed. “Hey, Jessi, how about hanging out at Nick’s house for a while?” You looked to Nick, who flushed slightly and nodded in agreement. 

Jessi’s mouth tightened as she looked at Nick, and then you. She new that when you asked her that, you really meant; “Hey, Jessi, it would be more convenient for me to drive straight to Judd’s house so we can fuck.”

“C’mon Jessi, we can watch a movie or something,” Nick added hopefully. You smiled, a bit tightly as you looked at Jessi and she reluctantly uncrossed her arms and agreed. “Okay, fine. But can we do that stupid biology assignment together then, instead?” 

Nick agreed happily, and the two quickly got a rather animated conversation started. You drove out of the parking lot, Judd’s hand increasing in height on your thigh till he was toying with the hem of your skirt. You flushed, gently pushing his hand down a couple times so Jessi and Nick wouldn’t see, but it ultimately was a losing battle. 

The two’s conversation turned to background noise as you drove towards your destination, as fast as you could; now way faster than the speed limit allowed. Judd’s incessant caress of your thigh made your heart beat so much faster and your finger’s grip the steering wheel so much tighter— you could feel him staring hungrily at you the whole time too, seizing you up with that small twitch of his lips that meant he was going to fuck you till your legs were jelly. 

‘Step on that goddamn speeder, sugar! Look how he’s eyeing you.. like a big, hungry wolf,’ Connie’s claws locked around the back of your seat, and she moaned when his nails slightly scratched at your fishnets; lifting them and making them slap against your thigh. 

You gasped, and sent him a glare that bordered on a sultry pout. “I can’t,” you muttered to Connie. “I’ll actually run someone over if I go any faster,” 

Your monstress shook the seat harder. ‘They won’t mind giving up their life for some sweet, sweet lovemaking baby~’  She purred and you glanced at her briefly, with a scandalised expression. 

“I really don’t think you should be saying stuff like that,” You retorted, focused on evening out your breathing from the slow teasing of Judd’s warm hand. Then he leaned in, squeezing your thigh in a death grip and placed a long, slow kiss under your jaw 

“You changed your mind about fucking your Uber costumer yet?” He drawled, deep voice dragging a whispering growl all the way up your spine.

You shivered. “I think I have,” you breathed back and felt him smile triumphantly against your neck. 

He cackled darkly. “Good. You better drop the fucking attitude,” Then, he snapped your fishnets again, watching as thin, red lines appeared on your thigh.

Connie moaned loudly again, fanning her hands in front of her face before dramatically laying down on the floor of the car, between the front and back seats. 

“Ew. Can you two not?” That time it was Nick speaking, arms crossed over his chest.

Jessi nodded in agreement; her gaze was locked on where Judd was touching your thigh, burning into you. Your boyfriend in question slowly retreated his hand, half turning in his seat to glare dissatisfied at your two passengers. 

Nick shifted uncomfortably and whatever insult he had died on his tongue. “What? Are you fucking jealous or something?” He sneered.

The younger shrugged and looked away. “No.” 

Judd grunted, gravely and deeply. “It’s not my fault you can’t get your little prick wet,” He wiggled his pinky finger for emphasis. 

You failed to hold back a giggle and gently slapped his arm. “Don’t tell thirteen-year-olds to have sex, you ass,” You scolded, halfheartedly through and smiled as you came to a stop in front of the birch house. 

“Okay, get out you two!” You called over your shoulder. “We’ll be right in— I’m just gonna park.” You bluffed, and didn’t miss the way Jessi rolled her eyes at you as she slammed the car door behind her.

Connie rose from the floor to sit in the middle seat in the back. ‘Yeah, park Judd’s dick right in your pussy!’ She drawled, making obscene gestures with her hands. 

Judd was quick to point you to a nearby parking spot, concealed a bit by a willow tree with low-hanging branches. As soon as you were parked, you unbuckled your seatbelt and Judd was reaching for you.

He pulled you to him by your waist— settling you down over his lap, straddling him. You whimpered as you felt him against you, already straining in his pants. He grabbed greedy handfuls of your ass with one hand, having the other settle on the back of your neck and pulling your hair. He held your head in an iron grip, making sure you wouldn’t avoid his kiss this time around.

Then, he kissed you. Roughly, deeply, tongue invading your mouth almost instantly. You mewled as he bit your lower lip, arms wrapped around his neck and fingers gently pulling on the short hairs at the back of his head. 

You were already moving your hips, without thinking about it and he wasted no time in aiding you; thrusting upwards while holding your hips down and helping you rock back and forth. 

You were already quite sensitive from your earlier rough fuck in the McDonald’s bathroom, your clit swelled and started twitching almost instantly. The rough drag of denim on your panties was almost too much, but the sloshing of warmth in your lower belly kept you going— rutting yourself harder against him. 

He moved from your lips, you let out a soft, whiny sigh. “You wanted it that bad, huh? You’re already so fuck-drunk,” He commented, that wicked smile pulling at his lips. He squeezed your asscheek hard. “Up.” He instructed, and shakily, you lifted yourself up to stand on your knees instead of sitting on him. 

You held his shoulders for support, definitely not expecting him to bring both his hands under your skirt and roughly ripping your fishnets apart right under your pussy. He let them rip all the way down your thighs and you looked at him wide-eyed. 

“I’ll get you new ones, baby.” He grinned, a bit coyly as he pushed your panties aside. His cold fingers gently brushed your folds and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about your ruined tights. Your breathing hitched and you desperately bucked your hips, trying to get him to touch you further. 

His other hand returned to your hip, to hold it in place and keep you from rutting yourself against his fingers. He gave a warning growl, brows drawing together as he concentrated on the task at hand. He teased your folds apart with his pointer, feeling how warm and wet you already were. You were pulsing, almost, starting to clench before his fingers even entered. 

“Judd—“ You moaned. “Do— do something.” You pleaded with him. 

Connie was going crazy behind you as well, both her and Maury were sitting in the backseat contributing to an animated conversation. Your monstress shook Maury by the shoulders, yelling at him to get Judd to do anything. 

‘C’mon! Fist her already!’ Maury roared, kicking the seat you and Judd were sitting on. 

Your boyfriend inhaled sharply, pressing his thumb to your swollen bud— forcing a breathy, drawn out whine out of you. He retaliated by pressing down harder, slowly moving his thumb in a circle that had you desperately bucking into his hand. 

He could feel your warmth leaking, wetness gathering and threatening to fall before he finally, finally gave in and shoved a finger into you. He looked at you, drinking in your expression as he burrowed one, long finger into your cunt.

Connie cheered and you cried out Judd’s name. He made a ‘come hither’ motion, slightly scratching deep within your walls right where you needed him. He chuckled, darkly as you clenched around his finger. 

“Want one more?” He asked— pressing down on your clit deliberately right as you were about to answer. 

You nodded your head, burying your face in his shoulder. “Mhm! Judd— please!” You wiggled your hips in emphasis. 

“Good girl.” He praised you, adding a second finger as promised. He pumped them for a little while, relishing in the moans you tried to conceal in his neck and grunting at the occasional bites you left. 

Then, he suddenly stopped moving, but not withdrawing his fingers. You whined pathetically in protest. “Relax, slut.” He said. “Fuck yourself on my fingers,” 

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately you were bouncing up and down on his hand; trying to bring them as far into your pussy as possible. You clawed at Judd’s shirt, pulling the neckline down so you could properly bite him and conceal most of your whiny moans. 

He groaned, ripping his head back and allowing you more access to ravage his neck. You could feel yourself dripping, warm liquid gathering in Judd’s palm and running down his forearm. He pressed your clit harder, feeling your cunt clench tightly around his fingers— his cock ached at the thought of feeling your little pussy around him again. 

The car filled with loud squelching sounds, every time you rose and fell back on his fingers. Your pace fastened in time with Judd’s assault on your clit and you cried out; “Please—please, more! Judd, please!” 

“Yeah?” He drawled and you lifted your head from his neck slightly to nod your head. Then, he curled his fingers and touched a spot that had you seeing stars. You cried out, loudly, as his fingers began thrusting into you violently. Along with your combined forces, you moving your hips frantically and him rolling your clit with his thumb and scissoring his long fingers inside your pussy, you reached the edge quickly.

Judd sneered. “You gonna cum?” He knew the answer already, could feel it in the way your little pussy throbbed and clenched around his fingers. 

Your thighs burned from your rapid movement, shaking as liquid flames consumed your belly. “S’good, s’good— yes,” you breathed, clawing at Judd’s chest. 

He bend his fingers inside you again, breathing into your ear in his nice, deep voice. “Come on my fingers, pretty girl. C’mon.” 

Again, you definitely did not need to be told twice. The coil in your tummy snapped, and you fell apart with a loud cry of your boyfriends name. He continued finger fucking you through your orgasm, until you were even puffier and so sensitive that you were shying away from his hands. 

He grinned gleefully. “Good fucking girl,” he praised you, rubbing your clit in slow circles again, before finally pulling out and allowing you to rest on his knees. 

You sat, feeling your own wetness drip underneath you as you tried to catch your breath— Judd however, wasted no time, unbuckling his pants and pulling his fat cock out. 

You swallowed at the sight, how fucking hard he was and your pussy clenched again— as if it wasn’t already sore and abused. Subconsciously, you rutted your hips a bit forward, grinding on his knee as you watched him stroke himself. He hissed, hand tightly fisting the base of his cock and making its way to his leaking head; you timed your movements with his stroking. 

“C’mere.” He grunted, hands leaving his swollen cock in favour of grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him. 

On instinct, you reached forwards and grabbed his dick, standing on your knees again so you could sink down on him. You only managed to get the head in, before one of his large hands wrapped around your wrists; stopping you. 

“You take what I give you, slut. Pull shit like that again and I’ll have you on your knees instead, got it?” He growled, his other hand restraining your hip in a death grip that was sure to leave marks on your after— long, purple finger prints.

Though the thought of sucking him off wasn’t terrible, your pussy ached so pathetically and you knew the only thing that would satisfy you was Judd’s cock rearranging your guts. So you whined, but nodded and let him guide you back. 

He leaned the seat back a little, Maury yelped and moved away from his place behind you to make space as Judd leaned back. He lifted his hips up, emphasising what he wanted from you. 

You reached out a shaky hand, closing it around his base and moving up and down just like he had before. He groaned, teeth clenching as you smeared his pre-cum from top to bottom, massaging him to the best of your ability. Still, you couldn’t ignore the harsh clenching of your hole as he kept you empty. You slowly started grinding against his thigh again, hoping he’d let you. 

“Judd..” You sniffled, eyes close to filling with tears. “I need your cock inside me, please.” 

You could almost feel Judd’s dick hardened in your grip, and he growled and sat up a little straighter. “Jeez. You whine like a bitch in heat,” He commented, rather smugly.

He beckoned you with his fingers again, and you raised yourself right over his cock but waited to sit down. Judd hummed in approval, guiding his cock with one hand and you with the other, till the head was making its way inside you. 

You sighed, relieved, trying to relax your throbbing pussy so Judd could fit. He groaned. “You’re so.. fucking tight, relax.” He said, as he forced his way further inside you.

When he finally bottomed out, you moaned, loudly. He didn’t move right away, so again you took matters into your own hands and started softly rocking your hips. 

He grabbed your hand, placing it over your belly to feel the bulge his cock had created inside you. “Feel that, baby? You’re so full, aren’t you?” 

You barely registered the question, burying your face in his neck again to hide the way your whole expression screwed up in pleasure. “Mhm.. s’big, s’full.” You slurred.

Then, Judd started moving, bouncing you in his lap like a cocksleeve while you wailed into his shoulder. The stretch was almost unbearable, you felt him bruising your cervix each time he moved— the fit was so snug you could feel every ridge and vain on him. 

He lost himself in the feeling of your warm, soft pussy, having tuned Maury out a long time ago he fucked you mercilessly, entirely focused on reaching his own end. He lifted his hips off the seat to pound into you from below— you could feel him in your belly, your clit scraping over his lower stomach every time he moved. 

It was too much— you were already close to reaching your end, clenching so tightly around Judd that he cursed and could barely move. 

“Feel good, you little slut?” He grunted, blunt nails digging into your sides. 

You nodded desperately. “Good.” He said. “Then cum for me again, you’re so close, right? I can feel your little pussy clenching around my dick so tightly, god, you’re such a fucking whore.” 

You kinda wanted to say something back, but with his rough thrusts and the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head and crossed; you couldn’t really deny him. 

The air in the car felt electric as you came for a second time, bursting and feeling a flush of warm liquid spill from you and cover Judd’s cock. He groaned as you creamed, warm little hole sucking him in and fighting to keep him there. His breathing went erratic, and he bounced you harder, faster, to chase his own orgasm.

“Fuck! Shit, you’re so tight,” He growled through clenched teeth, fucking you so hard the car shook and he was sure to leave bruises. Your legs had gone numb by the time he took your hand again, placing it back on your belly right in time with his release.

His cock throbbed and he came. Hard. Thick ropes of warm cum filled you, stuffing you so full you could feel your belly swell even further under yours and Judd’s combined hands.

He leaned in and bit down on your neck, keeping his own noises as quiet as possible but making sure to leave your neck swollen and blue. You moaned softly as he bit you, not having the energy to shy away from the borderline painful overstimulation. 

When he came down, you collapsed into his chest— breathing heavily. You sat like that for a while, the car’s windows had been fogged up and the only thing you could hear were your combined breathing. 

‘Atta girl!’ Connie slithered around you, patting you on the head. You just mumbled incoherently in response, still too sex drunk to function. 

Maury did the same, ruffling Judd’s hair as he leaned his head back against the seat and praising him— all of which Judd ignored. 

“You’ll have to carry me back.” You muttered, after a long while.

Judd chuckled hoarsely, moving you a bit to pull out of you and tug himself back in his jeans. “Fuck no.” 

You slapped his chest, gently, and pulled yourself up to look at him directly. “I can’t feel my legs.” 

“Then I did a good fucking job.” He snarked, leaning in and kissing your temple. 

Well. It wasn’t like the two of you needed to be somewhere, relaxing in your car for a bit actually did seem like a pretty good option— and so that’s what you did.

God,, why am I horny for a fucking cartoon character wth 💀✋

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn (lemme know if you want to be tagged!)

[metallicaislife]

A Steamy Halloween

A/N: I am so bad at flirting irl and that translates into my writing I'm so sorry hahahahah I think what happens after makes up for it thoughhhh 😏

Requested by : Anon

Genre: 18+ Smut, minors dni

Word Count: 1,531

Warnings: fingering, unprotected sex, m x f pairing

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride there?” Kirk asked for the third time over the phone. 

“Yes, I’m running behind a little bit so I’ll just see you when I get there, okay? Plus, it’s not that far from my house. A short walk won’t kill me.” I said holding the phone between my shoulder and ear as I applied the deep red lipstick. 

“Fine, I’ll see you there.” He finally relented. 

“See ya.” I said quickly and hung up the phone. 

I took my time with finishing touches of my costume.

I entered the party, greeting a few people. I was on a mission to find my best friend though. When my eyes landed on him, I was surprised to see he was already looking at me. I made my way over to him. 

“If you spotted me why didn’t you say anything?” I asked folding me arms. He finally snapped out of whatever spell he was under. 

“I.. uh sorry. Um, nice costume.” He said swallowing hard. Internally I smirked, I was in a short leather dress that accentuated my body perfectly, and a pair of platform heels. 

“Thanks.” I smiled showing off my fangs, tried and true sexy vampire for the win. “Are you a ghoul?” I asked. His eyes were surrounded by black paint and contoured his face to give it that hollow look. 

“Bingo.” He replied with finger guns. What a dork. My favorite dork though. 

“Anything fun going on here?” I asked, finally taking the seat next to him. 

“Not really. But it’s still early.” He shrugged. 

“You’re forgetting who’s throwing the party, my guy. If it was me there’d be games but it looks like all this is, is a costume mingle.” I huffed. 

“Wanna give it a while longer then get outta here?” He asked. 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” 

We got up and talked with some of the other party goers. I was right though, all these people were interested in talking, no drinking games, kissing games, you know a normal party. 

About a half an hour later, my eyes met Kirk’s and I gave him the signal we concocted to give the other when we wanted to leave a situation. Kirk nodded and we met at the front door. 

We walked to his car in silence. He opened the door for me.

“Thanks.” I said sliding in and buckling up. He walked around getting in. 

“Where to?” He asked, starting his car. 

“I’m hungry, are you?” I asked as I  fidgeted with my hair.

“Yeah, the diner okay?” He offered our usual spot to eat. 

“Always.” I replied.

The diner was on the other side of town. Music played softly over the radio. Kirk has been my best friend since grade school, but sometimes it felt like he was my boyfriend except without the perks of kissing among other things. Things that I thought of more often than I would ever admit. Sometimes I flirt with him just to see his reaction. He does the same though. It’s like we’re stuck in this vicious cycle of seeing how far we can push that boundary. Feeling confident in my costume and the reaction he gave from seeing me in it I decided tonight would be a good night to push that boundary button.

“You know, if the party turned into a make out party I’d have let you kiss me.” I said. I was serious, but I kept my tone light. I looked at him, his nostrils flared but he didn’t say anything so I kept going. “I would have even let you touch me.” I said dropping my voice to sound sexy.

“You talk an awful lot for someone who won’t actually do anything.” Kirk snapped as he clenched the steering wheel. My mood soured and I quickly snapped back. 

“You’re one to talk.” 

I jolted in my seat, the seat belt tightened, not letting me go far. 

“What the hell, Kirk!” I exclaimed. 

He didn’t say anything as he pulled the car over and parked where there weren’t many cars or foot traffic. 

“Get in the back seat.” He said in a dark tone. 

“What?” I asked, looking at him. His eyes met mine, there was a fire I’d never seen before. 

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” He warned. My eyes widened as warmth pooled low in my belly. I fumbled a bit as I unbuckled and got out of the car sliding into the back seat. My heart thrummed in anticipation. Moments later Kirk followed suit and got out of the driver's seat and entered the back. He locked us in. His demeanor broke a little and he said, “if you don’t want to do this, tell me to stop.” 

He scooted closer and I moved so I could crawl onto his lap straddling him. 

“I want you to fuck me.” I said. The fire returned in his eyes and our lips met in a deep kiss that I felt in my toes. 

Years of imagining this moment, and it was something so much more than I could have ever wished for. His hands gripped me tightly as I tangled my fingers in his hair. 

I grinded down on him feeling him begin to harden. He pulled away and started sloppily kissing my neck as I continued grinding against him. My dress was riding up and his warm palms ran up and down my thighs as he found my sweet spot and bit down. I moaned as my hands explored the planes of his chest through his shirt. I found the hem and began lifting it up and he pulled back enough to let me help him take it off. I immediately dove in kissing and nipping at his chest. His hands kneaded my ass then he began to lift me. It was a bit cramped but he managed to maneuver us so I was laying across the back seat, my feet planted on the seat knees up. My dress was bunched up to my stomach. Kirk knelt as he rubbed his hands over my legs. His pupils were blown, lips swollen. He looked hot as fuck. His hands traveled further until he was at the top of my panties. He began pulling them down and I shifted my hips up so he could take them off. He shoved them into his back pocket. He ran his fingers through my folds eliciting a moan from my throat. He slipped a finger in, then another, using his thumb to rub my clit. 

“Oh fuck… don’t stop.” I moaned. He smirked. 

“Does it feel good?” He asked.

“S’good.” I moaned louder as I got closer to my release. I squirmed as I came, a slew of curse words leaving my lips. 

“So fucking sexy.” Kirk commented. He pulled his dick out of his pants rubbing my release over it. My hooded eyes met his eyes as he moved closer. He rubbed the tip over my clit, I whined. 

“Want you in me.” I breathed out. He aligned himself with me and thrust in. He let out a groan.

“Thought about this for so long. Gonna fuck you so good you won’t get off to anyone’s cock but mine.” He said, and I believed him. The windows were fogging as he began pistoning his hips, our breathing heavy. He paused for a moment to lift my hips and resumed, I screamed as he hit my g-spot. The car shook with each thrust. I came again, my eyes rolling back. He continued dragging out my pleasure before pulling out, he fisted his dick and came on my stomach. He lowered my hips and rested his forehead on my knee. After a while in silence regaining our breath he sat up tucking himself back into his pants. 

“Stay there.” He said and got out going to the passenger door. I heard him rummage about the glovebox before coming back around to kneel between my legs. He had napkins and tenderly cleaned my stomach. 

“Thank you.” I croaked, my throat hoarse from screaming. 

He smiled and helped me sit up bringing my dress back down to cover me. I got out of the backseat and he rushed around to open the passenger door. He stopped me before I got in and kissed me, I immediately kissed him back. He pulled away, a goofy grin on his face. 

I got in and we resumed our voyage to the diner.

When we got there, Kirk opened the diner door for me, following behind and softly resting his hand on the small of my back. 

We were led to a booth and sat across from each other. I ordered fries and soda, while Kirk got a salad. 

“Do you want to go back to my place after and watch Halloween?” Kirk asked. I munched on a fry and nodded. 

“Can we watch Creature from the Black Lagoon after that?” I asked. 

“Of course.” He replied with a smile. 

We fell into comfortable conversation. Part of me wondered how the dork in front of me was the same one from 20 minutes ago that absolutely rocked my world.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to request or chat :)

-Isa

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Halloween Head Swap

I was so psyched for Halloween this year because it was the first time I could spend it with my boyfriend, Julian. I'd never been a big horror guy myself, but he goes nuts for spooky thrills. I'd always wanted to go to one of those Halloween events, like haunted houses or corn mazes, and I thought being with Julian was a good enough reason to go. We were looking up events happening nearby on my laptop, and I thought I found a cool one.

"Let's see." Julian read the website.

"What's it say?"

"Haunted house. Ooo! Haunted corn mazes. Nice! Magic show. Magic show?"

"I love Magic shows!"

"I guess it could be a Halloween thing. Wouldn't be surprised if they just replaced the rabbit in a hat with something scary instead. Or maybe the assistant wears a ghost costume or something."

"But wait." I pointed at the bottom of the page. "It says absolutely no costumes are allowed. Aren't you supposed to wear a costume?"

"Yeah, for costume parties and trick-or-treating and stuff. But for things like this where they have paid actors and stuff in the haunted events, they don't want randos in costume, in order to keep up with the vibes."

"That makes sense." I noticed another part of the website that said "18+ only for the whole event."

"Ooooo," we both said in unison.

"That better mean they have strippers and vodka."

"Hell yeah!"

"Now where is this again?"

"Lemme see. Some place called Caneville." He looked up the town info. "Aw shit."

"What? Too far?"

"No, just a 30 min drive. But it's got such a tiny population that it's probably one of those hick towns. You know those places always give me the creeps. Like everyone seems to stare at you because you're an outsider."

"But don't you like creepy things? We can ignore the background of the town and enjoy the festivities." I kissed him.

"Hey, I guess. Sure. As long as you promise me one thing..." He placed his hand on my bulge which had now grown.

The 31st arrived, and so we got dressed and left at 3pm. The drive there was pretty normal, up until we reached the town. There was an unexpected amount of traffic leading into the town itself. As we continued along, we found that all the cars were headed to the festival.

"Woah, I didn't think it would be this packed!" Julian said excitedly.

"Me neither…it's weird though. Why would such a large number of people be coming to some small-town festival? It doesn't make sense."

"Dunno. Maybe they paid extra to get their event on the top of everyone's search results? I think you can do that."

"Maybe. Well, it better be good then."

Luckily, we found a parking spot in time, before too many people showed up. The place was pretty big and was decorated nicely for Halloween; jack-o-lanterns lined the fences, ghost shaped lights hung above us, and the grass was covered in hay. We noticed the sign advertising the magic show started at 5pm, so we checked out the other attractions first. Making our way through the crowds, it was somewhat obvious who was from this little town, and who drove here. There were people in all shapes and sizes, but a lot of the older people were wearing formal clothes and usually had grumpy looks on their faces - probably upset that there was so much diversity this year.

We were walking along, when we saw two punk guys, one with a red mohawk, and one with brown, searching around looking confused. Red mohawk made eye contact with me and approached.

"Hey, do you guys know where the free booze is?" He didn't even look old enough to drink but I didn't really care.

"Free booze? How come I didn't know about this?" Julian asked.

"What do you mean? It was in huge letters on the ad. Couldn't have missed it."

"I don't remember seeing anything like that though," I said. 

"Damn, nobody else seems to know either. Did I get some fake version of something? Everything else seems legit."

"That's weird yeah."

"Anyway, I'm Ian. Let me and my buddy know if you ever find the free booze. Fuck, I forgot I was gonna meet my boyfriend here too. Shit, well catch you later." He seemed like such a weird guy but hey, he's probably just 18 and desperate for a chance to drink.

5pm arrived and we headed to the magic show. As we expected, there was a pretty big crowd. I was so excited though, and it looked like everyone else was too. It started when a chubby guy in a tuxedo walked on stage.

"Friends and folks, welcome to The Great Guillermo magic show! I am the Great Guillermo!" He took a bow, and everyone applauded.

"Now for my first trick, I will make this sword float!" He took out a sword and set it on the floor. It began floating all the way up to his head when he did some hand motions. The crowd cheered once again. It was glowing blue as well, which was strange because he didn't announce anything like that.

"For my next trick, I will need one volunteer from the audience." The crowd seemed hesitant, most likely because the idea of a sword related trick would make some queasy. Luckily, after a bit, a guy around my age raised his hand and stepped onto the stage.

"All right! What is your name, young man?"

"Tyler."

"Ok Tyler! For your part, stand in that spot real good and don't move!"

"Oh ok." He did a bit of a nervous laugh. The Great Guillermo took the sword and aimed it at his own neck. What in the world was he doing? It started glowing blue once again and went through his neck! The audience gasped. I knew it was all a trick, but I expected blood or something. Instead, what happened was unbelievable. His head hopped right off his body! Completely still alive, it fell to the floor and the body took a bow. The crowd went wild.

"Holy shit man, that was so cool! How’d he do that?" Julian turned to look at me.

"I have no idea!"

Normally with tricks like this he would go back to normal to start the next trick, but he was still a head and began talking again.

"Now this is only the first part of my trick. Here comes the part where my volunteer must help." His body, still moving on its own, took the sword and aimed it at Tyler's neck. When that blue glow returned, The Great Guillermo's head hopped over to the left of Tyler. In an instant the sword sliced Tyler's head off, just like it did before. Though, instead of hopping off and hitting the floor, it seemed to fly off in the direction of The Great Guillermo's body, as if it was a magnet. When it got to the neck, it plopped itself on top, replacing The Great Guillermo's head.

Tyler's head on The Great Guillermo's body was a funny sight, seeing a skinny and young-looking guy with such a large body. He began moving and reacting, as if Tyler was actually controlling it. Tyler's head looked down and widened his eyes at the sight.

"Woooahh, this is trippy!" The Great Guillermo's head did the same and flew onto the empty body like a magnet. The audience began laughing when they saw the full image. They just swapped their heads!

"This is even crazier; how did they do that? Man, I gotta know now!" Julian was getting so excited now. It made me so happy to see him in a good mood. Tyler, on his new chubby body, realized he could move his legs and started walking around.

"Oh wow, I can move? This is weird." It looked so real. But it must be fake right? I know a lot of times magic shows pretend to pick out a random audience member, but really it was all planned from the start. The mood changed a bit when Tyler started becoming restless.

"Hey, uh could I have my body back now? This is actually feeling kinda uncomfortable."

"Of course, my boy! Right after you learn your lesson!" 

"Lesson?" My gut told me that this was no longer part of the act.

"The lesson of hard work of course! I may have been a little overweight, but it's not impossible to work it all off! And when you do, it should be just like your former one! Well…maybe a bit older! In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying your nice slim body!" The Great Guillermo seemed like a completely different person at this point and began laughing maniacally.

"What? Hey this isn't funny anymore! What's your problem?!"

"Oh, don't worry, Tyler. You won't be alone. In fact," He looked at the audience with a gleam in his eye. "Everyone else will be starting their own unique journeys!" He quickly grabbed the sword and pointed it at the audience. They all screamed when not only did it start the blue glow, but it began multiplying as well! Sword after sword came out of the original; there must've been hundreds! It seemed like we all knew what was about to happen next, because the crowd turned around and ran. Julian was by my side…at least at first. Soon enough the stampede plowed through us, desperate to escape, and we were separated.

"Julian! Meet me at the car!" I screamed, not sure if he heard me or not. I ran away from the stage area, dodging unfortunate heads flying everywhere. The Great Guillermo began laughing again.

"Now everyone will learn the true value of hard work! Whether you want to change your new body or not, adapting to your new life is the fun part!"

When I got to the parking areas, I was shocked at the horrible sight. There were people with the same idea as me hiding in cars…only the blue swords were able to pass right through them to slice their heads. It didn't stop there because the decapitated heads seemed to be in an ethereal state, where they could also go through the walls. That bastard magician. He planned all this! I'm screwed! While I was in shock, I could feel something hit me in the neck. It didn't hurt at all, but I felt dizzy. I watched as the world went in a loop, and then back to normal. I could see myself flying through the air, but when I looked down, there was nothing. No body. I could still feel my hands and the rest of my body, but I was far enough away that I couldn't check to see if it was moving.

I couldn't change the direction I was heading in, but I could lean a little to the left or right. I'm guessing I was homing in on the nearest headless body, so I wondered if I could direct myself away from a bad one? I saw a headless body in front of me, so I jerked to the left and managed to dodge it…for a few seconds. It turned out there was a body on the other side of the fence I was on, so I flew right through it and attached myself to the neck.

I looked down and almost screamed. It was a fat body wearing a light blue dress shirt, with a tie and suspenders. I would imagine I was also wearing dress pants to go along with it, but I couldn't see past my huge belly! My waist size must’ve been double what it was before! Judging by the clothes, this probably belonged to a man that lived in the town.

I pushed my hand against the belly and felt it jiggle, sending vibrations throughout the rest of my flesh. I'm glad I wasn't a floating head anymore but I'm not too happy about being a fat guy either! I must’ve looked like Tyler did with his twink head on an obese frame. Luckily, there was a public restroom nearby, so I walked in and locked the door. I was scared to see myself in the mirror, but knew it had to do it, so I shuffled over to see my reflection.

Oh god, I was massive. It really did look strange, almost funny in a way. Normally when you gain this much weight, you also gain a double chin. But my chin and head were exactly how they always were. But yet, my body was huge. At least I wasn’t wearing some trashy looking clothes or something. Formal wear was nice, even though it felt tight on me. How do guys like this go shopping? I must’ve been wearing 5XL clothes! The curious thought of seeing what it looked like underneath crossed my mind. I guess it was going to have to be done eventually…and my chest felt like it was being crushed under the shirt I was wearing. I started by unclipping the suspenders. The front two were easy, but the back two I had to guide my hands around my oversized ass in order to make out where they were. Then I lifted my collar to take off the tie and unbuttoned the first two shirt buttons. I expected to be wearing an undershirt, since I felt so compressed, but no. The dress shirt was all it took to feel cramped. I reached for the bottom of my shirt that was tucked in and pulled up. When it was fully untucked, the belly promptly fell back down, slapped my thighs, and jiggled for a few seconds. Once it was all unbuttoned, I opened up the shirt and took it off.

Fuck. I wasn’t just big; I was morbidly obese. My man tits stuck out, love handles hung all around, and the loose skin left a crevice that covered my belly button. I really hated this. What’s Julian going to think? He might break up with me. No one would ever want to date a lardass like me. I put the shirt on, lifted up my belly in order to tuck it all back in, and walked out the door. I didn’t bother putting the tie and suspenders on again. I didn’t even need the suspenders anyway because my pants were tight enough over my big hips.

I started walking back to the festival area in order to find a clue to where Julian went. There were still blue swords flying around, but they ignored me completely. I guess they don’t go after those who had already been head swapped. Walking felt really weird because it was more like a waddle. Every step felt like I was causing an earthquake, which made it worse considering I couldn't even see my own feet! Not to mention I was sweating like a pig, even though I hadn't been walking long. I could feel the sweat stains forming in my armpits and since I had no undershirt on, it was probably obvious. I heard a familiar voice, so I turned around and noticed a familiar red mohawk. It was Ian! He was much chubbier than when I saw him before. He was talking with another guy, who lifted his t-shirt up to touch his belly.

"This is like a fuckin dream come true! Look at this gut!" Ian seemed excited to gain weight. Was that guy his boyfriend or something?

"We gotta hope that this body is good at staying big though! I want you to be my chubby bunny!" He said, flashing a grin. As I approached them, they stared for a second, but then smiled really wide. 

"Hey! Wait. You're that guy I met before. Remember? But you're like, so fuckin obese now!"

"Yeah…"

"That's awesome man!"

"Not really, I was fine being a twink before."

"Yeah man, but now you're a fuckin beast! You could like murder someone just by squashing them."

"I'll keep that in mind in case I need to murder someone," I said sarcastically.

"So, wait, where's your boyfriend?"

"No clue. I'm looking for him."

"Well good luck man. And hey, being big isn't all that bad you know."

"Yeah, maybe."

I got to the festival area to find a couple people still frequenting, but it was obvious they were head swapped. I suppose I was lucky mine ended up matching my skin color. At least the weird young head and old body combination isn't impossible naturally.

I noticed a shed area with a hastily made sign that said, "pick up your phones here." That was a good idea actually. Afterall, most people would've had their phones in the pockets of their old bodies. Maybe if Julian already found his, I can text him. Luckily, I skipped a step because I found him searching through the pile of phones inside. His body didn't look too different, at least from the sides.

"Julian!"

"Petey! You're…wow." 

"I know…this is going to take some getting used to."

"Hey no biggie. You're still you. You have your head at least. You're just a big guy now."

"Yeah, it's weird. Do you think there's any way to change back?"

"Don't think so. When I went back to the stage, the magician guy wasn't there. Fitting. Guess he just wanted chaos and well, he got it."

"Can't believe I'm stuck like this. But at least you don't look too different, maybe a bit bigger and older."

"Oh no, I've changed a lot actually. Here." He unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a flabby old man's chest.”

"Oh."

"I know right. Looks like I took the body of an old guy."

"Does it feel weird?"

"Yeah kinda. A little uncomfortable. I really just need to take off these clothes. I can feel my underwear being pulled up way too high!" I laughed. I'm glad Julian was still finding ways to make light out of a bad situation. "My back does kinda hurt though. But it's ok! We'll just work out and all like normal. Plenty of old guys are in shape!"

“Makes me so mad though. Those old guys that got our bodies are probably enjoying their nice abs right now.”

“Well, in your case, he’s in for a surprise when he sees how loose you are in the back…” I started laughing again.

“You got that right! He was probably straight, so it’ll be quite the shock. But I guess this means I’ll have to start loosening up all over again.” I touched my huge ass. “I guess I’ll have to work out too. I have a long way to go.”

"Oor…you could stay like you are. At least for now. Didn't wanna say it before but I'm totally finding you hot right now. Never fucked a fat guy before."

"Really? You like this?"

"Yep! Hey, it's still Halloween, so how about we go home, and I can feed you some candy or something." The thought of Julian feeding me was making me hard for some reason. Why do I feel like I want to stay this big? It's crazy! But I was so hungry, so I agreed.

"That sounds…pretty hot actually. Sure." Julian smirked.

"Happy Halloween my big boy." He slapped my gut.

"Happy Halloween…"

[cosmolog]

Help him

(Spider-Man X Female Venom!Reader)

This short will feature Spider-Man. You can imagine it as any Spider-Man but I just wanted to use this gif of Tom's version.

Enjoy!

-------------

"It's really quiet tonight." Y/n said, sitting on top of a building, looking down at the city below for any signs of trouble. But there was nothing but traffic and the bright lights of billboards and advertisements.

"Maybe the bad guys are having a party or something. Annual meet-up?" Venom suggested, his floating head shaking from side to side. He was extremely bored.

Y/n hummed then stood, taking one last look at the city to double check for signs of havoc. "I guess we get a night off" She said, beginning to turn away from the city when Venom suddenly called her name.

"Y/n! Look!" Y/n whipped around looking where Venom was looking. The sky. A huge portal-like hole in the sky, mixes of blues, reds and purples swirling around it like magic.

Next thing they knew, a figure was falling from that portal. Y/n cursed before Venom formed around her and started jumping across buildings to get to the person before they hit the ground.

Venom jumped through the air, catching the figure mid-air and landing on a flat building.

Venom put the body down, going back inside. Y/n hesitantly looked over the figure. It was a man, dressed in some weird red and blue costume, lined with a black web-like pattern. A spider symbol in the middle of his chest.

He looked badly hurt, and if this was a superhero or something, then what hurt him? Would it be following after him? Y/n looked up to the sky again, not seeing any other mysterious people fall from the portal. The portal seemed to shrink, getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared completely.

"Shit" Y/n looked back down at the man, crouching in order to get a better look at him.

Parts of his suit were ripped, showing some of the worst injuries the hero had gotten. She went to rest her hand on his chest to try and wake him up when Venom stopped her.

"I know this asshole." Venom said, his head popping out to go close to the man's mask. He looked like he wanted to eat him.

"Venom. Leave him alone" Y/n scolded, making Venom back away slightly.

"This is Spider-Bitch. Or Spider-Man, as he likes to call himself. I met him before when I was with Eddie. We fought him but he found our weakness. Eddie and I couldn't find his. But now I know...Whoever beat him up is his weakness..." There was a beat of silence before Venom exclaimed. "Perhaps it's his sister!"

Y/n looked confused. "Does he even have a sister?" She asked, looking at the man's mask, half of the material ripped off to show the skin underneath. "Should I wake him up?" She asked, unsure of how to proceed.

"Yeah, give him a slap across the face" Venom grinned mischievously.

She gave him a look in response before gently placing her hand onto the man's forehead. "He's hot" She said, a little worried.

"You just met him" Venom said, shocked.

"Not like that. I meant he's too warm, which doesn't really make any sense. He's been here for a good minute, he should be cooled down by now, especially on a freezing night like this" Y/n told him. "Let's take him home and see what we can do for him"

"What!? No! There's no way I'm helping someone who beat me up and tried to burn me alive. No!" Venom immediately protested.

"This is most likely not the Spider-Man who fought you. He fell from the sky through a magic portal, for fucks sake" Y/n rolled her eyes at him.

Venom was silent for a moment before groaning loudly. "Fine! But I better be getting chocolate out of this!"

Venom formed around her before picking Spidey up again and taking off towards Y/n's flat.

-----

When they arrived, Venom practically threw Spider-Man onto the couch carelessly, causing Y/n to scold him the minute he let her have control.

"Don't throw the guy around the place. He's probably really sore and we don't want you hurting him even more." Y/n said.

"Well, maybe I want to hurt him even more" Venom shot back like a snappy little teenager.

Y/n went to get some towels and cool water, placing the damp cloths on the man's head. The mask that he wore was missing an eye piece, allowing her to have a peek at his soft toned skin and closed eyes. She hesitantly began to remove the man's mask when he suddenly sprung to life, grabbing her wrist causing her to freeze and stare at him wide eyed.

"Don't...Please" He wheezed out, his voice broken. Yet his eyes held the most pain Y/n had ever seen in a person. By now Venom had gone inside to hide.

She let go of his mask. "Okay...But you have to cool down. Otherwise you'll get sick." She told him.

He looked away from her and stared up at the ceiling with soft sleepy eyes. "I just need to rest a little, that's all. I'll be fine in a couple minutes" He replied.

"Hate to break it to you, sir, but you've got loads of broken bones and shit. I shouldn't even have you at my house, you need a hospital" Y/n replied.

The man looked at her, shaking his head slowly. "I'm a fast healer. I'll be alright. Thank you" He gave her a small smile and rested his hands over his stomach, trying to get comfortable

Y/n looked down at his suit before glancing up at him. "I would ask your name but you're wearing a spider suit. I'll tell you now that we don't have Spider-Man here." She said, making the man look at her confused.

"Where am I?" He asked.

"San Francisco. But I assume it's not your San Francisco. You fell through some kind of magic portal. I saved you and brought you here. I'm Y/n L/n, by the way." The man stared at her, trying to wrap his head around what happened to him.

After a few beats of silence, he reached up, slowly taking his mask off to reveal a handsome face. He then spoke like saying his own name was unnatural to him. "I'm..Peter."

Y/n smiled a bit and nodded. "Nice to meet you, Peter." She stood up from her crouched position and headed to the kitchen. "I'll let you rest. Are you hungry at all?"

"Uh, yeah. If it's no problem-" Peter was cut off.

"It's no problem." Y/n smiled, before disappearing from Peter's sight into the kitchen. "Do you like curry?"

"Love it" Peter closed his eyes, relaxing more.

As Y/n got pans and other kitchen appliances out, Venom's head appeared beside her. "Why do you like him so much?" He asked, sounding almost..Jealous? Like a dog when their owner gets another pet.

Y/n glanced at him before retrieving the chicken from the fridge and curry from the press. "He's harmless. Like a little spider." She smiled.

If Venom could, he would've rolled his eyes. (Wait a minute, can he?) "Well, do remember that he tried and failed to kill me." He grumbled.

"And do remember that the Peter in there is not the one who tried to kill you" Y/n shot back.

"If he did it in one universe, he'll do it in all of them." Venom stated.

"No, V. If that were the case other universes wouldn't exist. Not one universe is the exact same as the other." Y/n corrected the Symbiote.

Venom rolled his eyes again. "You don't know Spider-Bitch like I do. He's dangerous, Y/n. You have no idea what he might do if he finds out about me" He tried to reason.

As soon as the food was cooking, Y/n peeped her head out of the kitchen, seeing Peter had fallen asleep.

"Just how dangerous is he? Look at him, V, he's a guy in cosplay" She chuckled at how Venom stayed hidden in the kitchen. "If he so much as thinks wrongly of us, I'll kick him out in a flash. You've got nothing to worry about, Venom. I'll protect you." Y/n teased.

Venom huffed. "And what are you going to do? Kill him with kindness?"

Y/n shrugged. "I was thinking about telling him to leave..?" She chuckled.

"Or we could just rip his face off while he's sleeping? He won't see us coming" Venom grinned at the thought, but his words flew over Y/n's head as she was too focused on the man sleeping on her couch.

His curly brown hair fell over his face, helping to shape it perfectly. Though he was riddled with bruises and cuts, he looked like an angel.

Meanwhile Venom was complaining to himself about how Y/n wasn't listening to him and they'd both end up dead by the end of this.

"I guarantee you; once he finds out about me, he'll kick us to Mars and back. You hear me? And it won't be pretty" Venom sneered his final warning.

"Calm down, Venom. As long as we stay on his good side, we won't end up on his bad side" Y/n finally replied.

Venom sighed in defeat, glaring over at Peter.

---------------

A good few minutes later, the curry was cooked. Y/n served it up onto two dishes. She grabbed the two plates while Venom held two glasses of water.

She placed the dishes, along with the glasses of water down on the coffee table. Venom made sure to stay hidden as Y/n lightly placed her hand on Peter's shoulder which immediately woke him up.

He shot up into a sitting position, whining at the sudden pain he'd caused himself. He looked around the room in confusion before his eyes landed on Y/n, who gave him a small smile.

"Sorry, you're a really light sleeper." She told him, sitting on the couch opposite Peter, the coffee table in between the two couches.

"It's alright." Peter shook his head, waving off her apology.

Y/n gestured to the dishes. "Curry's ready. I wanted to wake you so you wouldn't have to eat it cold. Um, I just got you a glass of water, do you want milk with the curry. It helps cool the spicy taste a lot better than water does" She offered.

Peter looked down at the dish and glass in front of him. "If it's no problem-"

Y/n chuckled. "It's no problem" She repeated, already standing up, grabbing the two glasses before heading to the kitchen. She came back in with milk in both and placed them in their original spots next to the dishes. "I hope you like it"

Peter smiled in thanks, lifting up the dish and beginning to take a small bite before quickly diving down for more.

Y/n smiled before eating her own serving. A comfortable silence fell as the two enjoyed their meals and each other's calm company.

------------

"So after I helped Miles escape, 2099 came after me. I luckily walked away with just a few scrapes and bruises, that man is lethal" Peter stared at the ground as he finished telling his story.

It was a few days later, Y/n had allowed Peter to sleep in her spare room until he was back in shape again. Though his bruises and small cuts had healed, the big slash to his side still needed time.

"2099 sounds like the worst Spider-Man. He doesn't even sound like a hero." She said, shaking her head.

"He sounds like the key to the end of all Spider-People." Venom added.

"Don't get any ideas" She said to no one in particular.

Peter met her gaze as Venom said. "I wasn't getting anything."

"I have to go back there and stop him before something happens to Miles and his friends" Peter said, beginning to stand up only for Y/n to gently push him back down.

"You're in no shape for fighting." She reasoned.

"I'll heal on my way to kick 2099's ass" Peter said, stubborn as ever.

"We've had this conversation before, Peter. I know I've only known you for a week but you are hell-a stubborn." Y/n placed her hands on her hips.

Peter's eyes flickered down to them before quickly returning his gaze. "Look, I love this" He gestured to both her and her apartment. "But you gotta let me go do this. You can't keep me here forever, you know"

Y/n rolled her eyes. "Cocky as well.." She mumbled. "Fine, go ahead. Door's right there" She nodded in the general direction of the apartment door.

Peter stood up, this time not being pushed back down. He was really close to her now, their chests almost touching. "Thank you for your kindness" He gave her a small smile before starting to walk to the door, only to fall over after the first two steps. He face-planted, groaning into the wooden floor boards.

Y/n just crossed her arms and stared at him as he tried to crawl to the door, getting halfway only to give up again. "Huuuuuuuuh. Help me. Please" His voice was muffled slightly because his mouth was smashed against the floor.

Y/n tutted before helping him up. "Is that enough proof that you're not up to the task just yet, Spider-Man?"

"Who's cocky, now?" He just mumbled in response as Y/n helped him to the spare bedroom.

"We gotta get this guy out of our house, I'm suffocating" Venom whined.

All Y/n did in response was sigh. She helped Peter into bed. "In the morning I have something to share with you. So get some sleep."

"What is it?" Peter asked, now curious to know what she was going on about.

She went to close the bedroom door. "You'll find out tomorrow!" She chuckled. "Now sleep"

When she closed the door, Peter looked up at the ceiling, smiling to himself as he thought of what Y/n might tell him tomorrow.

On the other side of the door, Venom came out and stared at Y/n as she headed to her own bedroom. "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing." She replied.

"Are you going to tell him about us?" Venom asked, irritated by the thought.

"I don't know." Y/n shrugged.

Venom moved in front of her so she would stop walking away from him. "You don't know? Why tell him you have something to tell him if you have nothing to tell him?"

"Because there's two things I could tell him. I could tell him I washed and fixed up his suit...Or I could tell him about us" She replied, heading to her wardrobe to pick out her bed clothes. "Which one would you like me to tell him?"

"The suit one. But I don't want you to tell him about us" Venom said.

"And why is that, V?" She asked.

"Because he will most definitely kill us" Venom replied.

She shook her head. "I can't see him doing that. He's too nice"

"Nice people are normally the ones that trick you" Venom stated. "Nice people can't be trusted"

"I'm nice" Y/n looked a little offended.

"Yes, but I'm taking the risk that you will not hurt me" Venom titled his head. "And you are doing the same for me"

"Goodnight, V" She smiled, getting into bed.

"Goodnight, Y/n"

[volivolition]

Omg thanks for the song recs <333

I loooooved recently by Liana Flores I added it to my bops playlist as soon as I heard the opening oooo's it was so so pretty :)))

I do also like San Fran! But in general I think the Mowgli's do good bops :)) And I love Stella by cereus bright!!!!! You're absolutely right it is absolutely a dancey vibes song and I like a lot of their other songs too!! Happier than me esp. has such toxic familial relationship vibes to me and it's so tasty

I'm so glad you liked hundred days!!!! It's one of my absolutely fav songs in the whole wide world and I'm animating something for a dnd campaign for the song so it's on my mind. I love the part in the middle where it's like the singer is screaming "I WANT. A HUNDRED DAYS. OF BRIGHT LIGHT!!!" and I can FEEL IT IN MY SOUL AND MY HEART

Never love an anchor is a classic and is a complicated motherly relationship song for all characters forever and ever <3 I love the crane wives in general but I think the garden and the well are underrated songs too

So for songs I feel along those vibes I give you:

Beloved, Mumford and sons

Thus always to tyrants, the oh hellos

Willow tree march, the paper kites

Cleopatra, the lumineers

Ophelia, the lumineers

Let's keep the recs going!! <3333

HELLO Q SORRY THIS HAS BEEN IN THE DRAFTS SO LONG (not to mention the cute echem one you sent me a long time ago OOUGH </3) THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT <33

yes i LOVE recently, i relate to it heavily hkjhg <33 "recently everyone says they are seeing less of me / i could do better if i had energy" LIKE. YEAH </3 HJGKJH MOWGLI'S ABSOLUTELY DO GOOD BOPS, waugh im so glad you liked my recs thank you for listening to them!!

HAPPIER THAN ME SOUNDS SO VENGEFUL HKJHG i love the somber intensity ooh it is tasty for real >:3

OMG SONG ANIMATICS, hundred days would make for SUCH a good animatic, the way that it starts with a single clear singer and then RAMPS UP THE ENERGY, it was practically built for a narrative, you could ABSOLUTELY make a dnd campaign animatic from this, i UNDERSTAND I UNDERSTAND FOR REAL. there is a very real yearning energy in this and i ADORE IT, I KNOW THE PART YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT OUGH I LOVE HOW ITS SUNG, the passion!! the emotion OUGH!!! YOU'RE SO REAL AND TRUE FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

oh SO TRUE the crane wives,, ough chefs kiss!! <33

Beloved - i do love mumford and sons <33 this song is sweet awa :'] <33 i keep thinking the verses are building up to something stronger but it seems to keep steadily level? i still like it though, it's lovely <3

Thus Always to Tyrants - OH MY GOD I LOVE THE OH HELLOS SO SOSOSO MUCH THIS WAS ONE OF THE FIRST SONGS I'D HEARD FROM THEM <33 THE STEADY STAMPING BEAT THE "OOOH"S THE GUITAR STARTING UP!!!! YELLS!!! I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONG <3333 where i goooooo, will you still folloowwwww~!!!

Willow Tree March - yesss ive been meaning to get into more of the paper kites! OH WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE HKJGH i swear ive seen an animatic to this or something? i love how folksy it is, 10/10 would give my dnd party bardic inspiration while dancing around a campfire in the forest <33

Cleopatra - oh i am fond of this one, oh you could absolutely make a disco animatic out of this hkjh the first verse being harry and dora ("And it hardened like my heart did when you left town") and the second verse being kim and eyes ("So I drive a taxi, and the traffic distracts me / From the strangers in my backseat, they remind me of you") and the bridge waugh (HARRY - "And the only gifts from my Lord were a birth and a divorce" / KIM - "But I've read this script and the costume fits, so I'll play my part") and then the bedroom after the tribunal ("leads me back to my guestroom / It's a bed and a bathroom / a place for the end'') OUGH VERY NICE HJKGH <33

Ophelia - THIS ONE I DO KNOW YES YES I LOVE OPHELIA DEARLY, this song carried me through senior year of high school actually <33 i used to play this on my ukulele but it never sounded truly right hkjhg the piano in this OUGH ITS SO GOOD. oh oPHELIAH~! heaven help a fool who falls in love <3 adoreee this <33

YES i will send you some as well!! :D <33 i am not actually very good at music recs but we have surprisingly similar tastes hehe <33 thank you thank you!!

[fuckwhoeverpickedallthefunnyurls]

Noting down things on my rewatch of Season 1 of Good Omens

While watching that scene where God explained that "it was like playing poker in a pitch-dark room, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules and who smiles all the time" and so many things appeared on the screen I just imagined how long it took to edit/make that whole scene.

In the book it's mentioned that Crowley's remark "You're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing" is supposed to be sarcastic but Aziraphale doesn't notice. Well then I guess I'm like Aziraphale because I also did not and continue to not notice the sarcasm there unless I really watch out for it then slightly I guess.

Rewatching I feel like Eve opening her eyes after taking a bite of the apple is given even more underlinement than when Adam does it. Especially also through the sound effect in the background

I didn't even remember that Ligur & Hastur came out of the ground. To do it on a graveyard too like they....rose from the dead. Yeah cool symbolism or something 👍

Hastur with his flaming hand to light is cigarette is also cool. Once again thinking about editing and special effects etc. etc.

LIGUR'S LITTLE ANIMAL PAL ON HIS HEAD MOVED!!!!!! IT'S PAW OR HOWEVER YOU CALL IT MOVED!!!!

Long hair Crowley

I didn't even notice but Crowley sways his hips EXTREMELY after walking back to his car after receiving the antichrist. This is the Crowley slutty walk everyone is talking about

"Ciao. Means...Food." Always cracks me up. The pause adds to the comedic effect.

The whole "Yes" simultaneously. Also very funny tbh. Especially the way they say/pronounce it.

Until recently when I searched up about the actors starring in Good Omens in detail I literally didn't notice that the actors of Nina and Maggie were literally both nuns in season 1. Call that recycling (or foreshadowing, who knows)

Yooo the soundtrack when the ambulance arrives at the nun hospital is lowkey fire

Crowley's old glasses...I feel like the new ones are better bc they have these things at the side so the eyes are covered completely from all angles. I can't believe I'm getting a pair of them on Monday!! (For my Halloween costume)

WHY are there so many people on the street in front of Aziraphale's bookshop. Is that just what it's like in Soho.

The way Crowley talks and also his expression in that telephone cell are so funny in a way

Now that I've started reading the book and know that Aziraphale was the one blew up/set on fire the block of traffic officer who tried to give Crowley a ticket for parking in the wrong spot, I think it should have been included in the Show

I don't even remember this much happening in the first episode. I'm so used to OFMD's 30 minute episodes. And Good Omens Season 2 episodes somehow don't feel that long Idk why

Nanny Astoresh!!!!!! (Idk how it's spelled tbh)

I never noticed that Nanny's lullaby was to the tune of like the Good Omens soundtrack

Crowley going down the reflection of the escalator to go to hell weeeee

Crowley's little bun ❤❤❤ (+ his coat ❤❤)

Crowley's expression when saying "They [Heaven aka The Opposition] don't suspect a thing

Beelzebub & Hastur & Ligur all have little animal pals I think Crowley should have a little snake pal

I don't know how I never realized the first time watching that Crowley only has the snake tattoo on one side. I always thought he had dual snakes. I guess that is his little snake pal.

Why the close-up shots of Gabriel 😭😭

The famous "Please do not lick the walls" sign!!!

Isn't that Erik the demon that they fed to the hellhound??? He just keeps coming back like a Nokia huh. Indestructible.

Crowley short hair all of a sudden 😢 (he still looks good but it was a jumpscare ngl after seeing him with long hair all the time)

Crowley suggesting child murder on a sunny afternoon (I just now realized, Crowley doesn't kill kids. Is that why he suggested Aziraphale do it? I thought it was just because then it would be "heavenly doing" but this is probably his deeper motivation)

Crowley's watch is really cool?? I had to go back like 3 times to see what all the different lanes for the numbers were for though

Crowley's new glasses too

Them drinking again because they f-ed up

[cheese-ducks]

TWRP Origins

Chapter 2: The Cone Encounter

(Warnings: Suggestive language, swearing) Main master list Previous chapter Next chapter

Jack stared in the mirror, confusion coursing through his body. The strange costume he woke up in consisted of a tight yellow bodysuit with black stripes down the side, a chest plate with a glowing object in the center, and a long black cape. It looked ridiculous, yet familiar. It somehow fit him perfectly, but he wasn't this guy. The confusion slowly turned to admiration as he continued to examine the costume. The light glinting off the silver shoulder pads, a belt-like bag hugging his waist and leg, it was a lot to take in. He looked like a superhero or a rockstar, or a crazy, amazing combination of both. He envied the maniac who could really do this outfit justice. Jack would've stared in the mirror for hours if there wasn't a loud knock at his door.

"Are you alright in there, honey?" 

His mom's voice hurled him back to reality. He rapidly took off the costume as he answered. 

"Y-yeah I'm good! Just getting dressed."

He threw the bodysuit and it's various accessories under his bed and grabbed the first items of normal clothing he saw. 

It was time to take this seriously. Strange things had been happening ever since the night the shooting star fell. Every night Jack would suddenly black out, have a crazy dream involving him wearing what looked like a traffic cone, and wake up the next morning with no memory of what happened the night before. He'd chalked it up to subconscious regret until that morning but this had officially gotten too strange to keep to himself. He pulled a grey tank top over his head and took a deep breath. Fully dressed in ordinary clothes he walked down the stairs and into the living room. Stan was sitting on the couch, notebook in hand, focused on whatever was on the page. 

"Hey, brah." Jack said with a small wave. 

"Hey, I've been waiting for you, dude." Stan said as he handed him the notebook."This is some decent stuff. I don't know why you were so nervous to show me."

The scribble ridden paper that contained Jack's unfinished song was included with the rest of Stan's notebook. Jack was utterly horrified. Not only was his private project now in Stan's possession, he also had no idea how he found it.

"Where the hell did you get this?" Jack asked in disbelief.

"You gave it to me last night, and I specifically remember it because you said it in such a weird way." Stan cleared his throat and stood up straight to reenact their conversation."You handed me this thing at like a full arms length away from me and said 'I've been meaning to show you my musical endeavor but I'm afraid it fucking sucks. Do what you must with it.' but honestly, bud, this is really good."

Jack had no recollection of doing that at all, but had a feeling it had something to do with his newfound amnesia.

"Could we go for a walk or something, Stan?There's something I need to tell you."

.........................................................................

Jack told him everything as they walked down the street.

"I've been having these recurring dreams. There's something about a device, and these dastardly haters that I'm fighting?" 

He desperately tried to make sense of it all as he vented. Stan listened intently, despite not understanding any of it.

"It feels like they're all leading to something!"

Stan took a pause to process whatever was happening. The distress in his brother's words was palpable, even though he seemed fine the last few days. In fact he had been more cheerful since the shooting star fell, which made the distress even more worrying. Stan wasn't entirely sure what he was going through but he was going to make sure he was there when he needed him. 

"Bro, are you okay? Maybe you should take some time off next semester." His question came off a bit more concerned than he intended, and Jack certainly took notice.

"I'm fine," Jack sighed. "I just feel like there's these memories in my head that I can't explain."

Suddenly Jack jumped and recoiled from something on the sidewalk, a terrified scream escaping his mouth. An odd looking fire hydrant was the cause of his fear. It was painted bright yellow with black on the outlets, and there was a traffic cone placed on top of it. Stan pointed and chuckled at it. 

"It's wearing a little hat." He hoped the observation would relax his brother, but Jack just stood petrified in front of the cone fire hydrant.

"How about we head home." Stan suggested. "We could keep working on your first musical endeavor." 

"That's a great idea. Let's do that." Jack nodded vigorously as he grabbed Stan's hand, speed walking in the opposite direction. 

.........................................................................

Stan walked into the living room with snacks to find Jack about an inch away from the TV staring at a paused screen. 

"Whatcha doing there, bud?" He questioned as he put the junk food down. 

They often left the news on as background noise while they wrote and today was no different, other than Jack's behavior. 

"I can't read it. It just looks like garbled letters! Am I losing my mind?" Jack's face looked as if he was pleading with him to say no, but Stan's strained sigh was all the confirmation he needed. He flopped on the couch and handed Stan the remote.

"Let's just shoot the shit while I slowly go insane. That cool with you?" His voice was a mix of sarcastic and dejected, he couldn't imagine what this looked like to Stan. 

"I mean, that's basically been our vibe since you were born so-"

Jack's cackle was so sudden he had to lean forward to release some of it's energy. It instantly made him feel better. 

"-So of course I'm cool with that." Stan continued through his own laughter. 

"Fuck you, dude! I'm reheating some chili do you want any?" Jack asked as he bounced off the couch.

"Y'know what sure, nerd." 

Before he turned off the TV, Stan looked at the headline Jack was having trouble with. He started to connect some dots, as far fetched as they were. All the disconnected events Jack had described; blacking out, memories that weren't his, the drastic personality changes, all of it could be explained or at least connected if the headline was true. It might also explain why he couldn't read three words:

'ALIENS IN HALIFAX'

[rallentando1011]

Risetober 2023: Day 5 - Future

The neon lights of buildings illuminated the city streets all the way up to the smoggy blue-gray sky. Skyscrapers, headquarters of corporations, apartment complexes, food carts, ways to make a living of all shapes and kinds were erected as far as the eye could see.

A brisk breeze carried up the scents and sounds: dulcet confections and happy chatter, overflowing dumpsters and swarming traffic. Not all of it was pretty but, hey, it’s part of the charm.

Only months prior, the streets were covered in alien biogrowth, a daunting technodrome hovering above the chaos and destruction and death it caused. The Krang pursued the eradication of the city, humanity, life on the planet, all of it. That outcome was narrowly avoided due to the effort and sacrifice of the Hamato clan.

So, Raph figured as he sat by his lonesome on the roof of some laundromat, he should let himself enjoy the minutiae he fought to preserve, the sight and sounds and scents. No matter how grim the city could be at times, it always had a certain beauty to it, an appeal reeling in his thoughts like metal to a magnet.

Raph sighed wistfully as he gazed around him at the surrounding towers of buildings. Apartments filled to the brim with families or students, people walking along the streets and entering family-owned stores filled with all sorts of autumn-themed treats and content customers, even just the sidewalks covered in civilians, all of them ants from Raph’s perspective.

All of their actions were so mundane yet alluring, and none of it was meant for him or his brothers.

He means, mutant turtles? Strutting along the streets of New York City? Yeah, that chance.

Sure, he went out in costume every now and then and experienced some semblance of normalcy to buy necessities (“necessities” being stuffed animals from Teddy Bear Town), but it wasn’t the same. Every moment he spent down there in some contrived disguise was nerve-wracking, spent being petrified of being found out or going into the proximity of something with peanut butter.

Despite not having the liberties of many people, his family had other things they didn’t have. Entering the mall late at night when no one else’s out, rooftop patrols and trips like the one he was on, not having to pay rent or electric while living in the sewers.

Sure, it wasn’t the most ideal situation, but he loved it nonetheless. Even with the low acceptance of the people, he always felt honored to fight to protect his town, and what a town at that. He wanted to change something about it, but the last time he tried to alter the public’s opinion of him and his brothers, the public gathered at City Hall with pitchforks, literal pitchforks, in Midtown Manhattan.

The red-clad snapping turtle looked back to the sky and glimmering edifices around him. He wouldn’t give up defending the city and its people for anything in the world, even if most didn’t accept him or his brothers.

But, in the future, he could only hope that for such a big city, his family wouldn’t have as little opportunities.

(@sariphantom I interpreted this prompt as thinking about the future bc drawing the future boys scares me 😉 also sorta odd thing but clicking on the images makes them clearer)

[the-himawari]

A3! Takato Tasuku - Translation [SSR] Night Mission (2/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Tasuku: …That’s the situation.

Izumi: If we can help, then of course we’d be happy to lend a hand!

Tasuku: Thanks. Even though it’s just a sample, I heard there’s a script to move the event along. I think they’re going to hold a rehearsal beforehand as well.

Tsuzuru: Since there’s a script, does that mean it’s going to be like a play?

Tasuku: It’s sort of like a demonstration. We’re going to dress up as police officers and teach children the rules of the road while showing them good examples.

Yuki: And what are you going to do about the costumes?

Tasuku: We’re supposed to be able to borrow special outfits. They said they want us to send over three guys. I’m going to participate. So that leaves two more.

Juza: …Tasuku-san. I’m gonna join.

Tasuku: Are you sure?

Juza: While I was out ridin’ my motorcycle, I’ve seen kids jump out even when adults are right behind them. That worried me, so I’d like to help out too.

Izumi: That happens a lot when kids are young.

Kumon: I’ll go too! I bet it’ll be fun to dress up as cops with nii-chan. And I’d be down if I can help prevent accidents, even just a little!

Izumi: Okay. Then can I ask Tasuku-san, Juza-kun and Kumon-kun to be the three volunteers for this event?

Tasuku: Yeah. I appreciate it, you two. I’ll let my brother know.

Izumi: Please do. I’m going to go watch how it goes on the day of, too.

Kumon: Even though it’s a demonstration, we gotta be convincing as police officers, right, nii-chan!

Juza: Yeah. We gotta prepare for our roles somehow. I’ll think of somethin’.

Tasuku: Like a policeman, huh…

-pause-

Tasuku: (The best way to learn more about policemen is to ask a professional. I’ll ask my brother some things while I give him our reply…)

*ring, ring*

Tasuku: Hello?

Fuyuki: “Hey, Tasuku. Have you guys come to a conclusion about the traffic safety class?”

Tasuku: Yeah. We decided to accept.

Fuyuki: “Really? That’s great to hear. I’ll report that to my boss right away”

Tasuku: Sure. By the way, I have something I want to ask you…

Fuyuki: “What’s up?”

Tasuku: I want to know more about police officers in order to prepare for my role. Could you give me some of your time?

Fuyuki: “…I got it. It just so happens I’m off duty tomorrow, so I’ll be at home. Wanna come over?”

Tasuku: Sure.

-pause-

Fuyuki: So, what specifically do you want to know?

Tasuku: My role coming up is a neighbourhood police officer, so I’m going to reference what you do on the daily. Going on patrols your main job, right? As for traffic, my impression is that you deal with vehicles that break the law…

Fuyuki: That’s right. It’s not just cars, I also watch out for pedestrians walking while using their phones, bicyclists riding without their lights on, and so forth. We’re going to ask you to talk about this stuff in the show on the day of.

Tasuku: So what do you do when you actually catch someone breaking the rules?

Fuyuki: I call them over and listen to what they have to say. Then I hand them a fine, depending on the situation. However, our main goal here is to show the children good examples related to traffic. We don’t want to make them think policemen are scary people who just punish them. That’s why I think your feelings when you saved Tsukasa-kun the other day are much more important than any warning or fine.

Tasuku: My feelings… (Back then, my brother was…)

*flashback starts*

Fuyuki: Hey, you. Are you okay? Are you hurt?

Tsukasa: …*Sniff*. Yeah, I’m alright.

Fuyuki: That was scary, wasn’t it? Everything’s going to be okay. Mr. Police Officer is here.

-pause-

Fuyuki: Alright, let’s look for your mother together. Don’t you worry. I’m absolutely sure we’ll find her!

Tsukasa: …Right!

*flashback ends*

Tasuku: (…He was empathetic to the kid’s feelings and he treated them with kindness.)

Fuyuki: Anyhow, sorry you came all the way here to consult with me, but I want you to just act the same as you did that day.

Tasuku: Yeah, you got it. (That reminds me, my brother was late to school once because he was delivering a lost kid to the police station.) (His lateness was justified, huh?)* …I’m glad my brother became a police officer.

Fuyuki: Huh? Did you say something?

Tasuku: I was just thinking everyone must feel safe when they’re rescued by a police officer like you.

Fuyuki: Haha. If you ever find yourself in a bind, you can always depend on your big brother too!

Tasuku: Oh, be quiet. Don’t pat my head.

---

*References Tasuku’s SSR Escort Card Invitation story

previous | next

[maribatz-2k]

Day 9: Family Dinner

Since meeting the Wayne's my teenage life, I have had many wonderful experiences. But one I will always remember and glad they now do at almost every dinner. Is irritate Bruce Wayne.

Each dinner everyone, except Damian of course, freaking sour puss, would dress up. Each Friday would be different. One week last month we dressed up as different eras of royalty. Jason had a ball pretending to be posh and proper in his victorian king garb. He kind of fit the roll well.

The week after that we dressed up in a circus theme. Dick was excited as he wore his father's old leotard from his younger days. (So glad Alfred had washed it hours before dinner, it stunk.) Alfred even wore a clown nose and squeaked it beside Bruce. Damian just scowled of course.

The week after that, the girls joined us and we all dressed up as the rogues of Gotham and Metropolis. Bruce walked in saw us at the table then let out a loud groan of defeat. To say he held disappointment strongly was wonderful.

Why are we doing this? Well you see, I came to visit two months ago to see my brothers and fiancé after finals. Fun part was, everyone knew I found out about their little secret, but some reason Bruce didn't. So I conspired to make it a game to lead up to the big reveal.

Tonight, the Kent's and Selina are suppose to visit and it was going to me fun. I had created everyone's costumes for tonight and also dropped them off in each room. Even Jon, Damian's best friend has one. No one knew what I had in-store, which made this way more fun.

All of us had a rhythm when we walk into the dining hall with the adults. So as normal I walk in first with Damian, discussing about the apartment we had talk about renting. The room was quiet for a second when we entered so we looked up to see Bruce looking at us with almost wide eyes.

"Oh my God you look so cute!" Selina shouts then begins to whisper to Louis. I was wearing a copy of the very first robin costume minus the mask. Yeah, as much as I hated the traffic light look, I think I pulled it off way better than Dick. Damian wore my ladybug color scheme. He wouldn't put in the leotard I bought but he was willing to wear the shirt and black jeans. I believe he looked rather handsome in my red and black polka dotted colors.

Next came Dick, he was dressed as an exact copy of Red Robin. Then came Jason, dressed as Spoiler, wig and all. I had to hold my laugher when he throws his "blonde hair" to the over his shoulder then sits down next to Dick. Not far behind him Tim walks in with Jon. This time Clark and Batman chokes on their drinks, if their coughing fit was anything to go by. Lois and Selina gasped then burst out laughing as they saw their sons.

Jon was sporting my partners look. Complete from head to toe. You can tell he felt awkward about it some, but he enjoyed it bcuz it reminded him of his boyfriend back at home. His "ears" moves with his thoughts as the little bell on his zipper jingles. He finds a seat next to Damian blushing lightly. Tim looked amazing. He was dressed as Red Hood. Helmet and all. I even added the packed muscles to emphasize Jason's pecs to give him a better definition. Jason was awestruck? He didn't take his eyes off tim even after he removed the helmet showing a small puff of white in his bangs and styled like Jason. (Not my idea so great touch Tim.)

Next came the girls. Babs, Stephanie, and Cass walked in cladded in their garbs. Babs was dressed as Superman, Stephanie as Void, and Cass was dressed as Nightwing. I gave a wolf whistle to them, smiling happily with my creations on my amazing new siblings. I then took a glance at my soon to be father-in-law and nothing could make his expression any better. Oh how I was wrong. Before he could say anything to any of us, in comes Alfred. The room went completely silent watching. Alfre places down the plates one after the other, Bruce hasn't even looked up from his hands yet having buried then into his face. When Alfred stops beside Bruce to lay his plate down. He spoke in the most Dark Knight voice one could ever make, and Dick was the closet one yet.

"Your food sir." Bruce's head snapped up and came face to face with a skinny version of himself. Bruce's face paled staring at Alfred, dressed from cowl to boots in his own complete copy of Batman fitting him just right. Selina unable to take anymore started laughing very hard. Either she caught on or Bruce's expression was down right hilarious. Clark and Lois looked at each other then at me who just shrugged and began to eat. Alfred set the dish down then walked away to his normal space at the other end of the table and eats with us. Immediately the girls begins to gush over the outfits the boys were wearing.

Stephanie was telling Jason how beautiful he looked with his blonde hair. He pulled it forward and played with the hair as if it was his life line. Mocking how she asks from time to time. That earned a fork being thrown at him from her. I couldn't help but listen and watch enjoying the chaos I amplified. I took a look at Bruce catching he looking at me as if he was terrified I might know about his nightly activities. I just shrugged at him and returned to eating listening in on conversations between Superman and Lois. Selina sends me a text that I peaked at under the table and smile big.

"Make me a new Catwoman outfit next please." She sent. I send a smiley emoji then focused back on Bruce. These are the dinners I enjoy the most

@maribatserver

[nanoland]

who wants to read a COMPLETELY FREE story about queer supervillains in love?

yes? no? maybe? undecided? here’s an extract: 

Leaning against the side of the building, hidden in the shadows, Red Velvet watched a tattered newspaper being blown across the street. When it passed below a street light, he could make out the headline: 

THE SCARLET WEB: MERCY CITY’S NEW FAVORITE FEMME FATALE!

Underneath it, there was a picture of a dark figure with a grappling hook leaping down from a high rooftop, their face obscured by a hood.

“Femme fatale,” Red Velvet muttered. “I hate that shit. They call every superheroine a ‘femme fatale’ these days. The only ones who don’t get called that are the silly ones like Daphne Dawnbright and Pudding Girl, or the ones who’re blonde, blue-eyed and wear a costume with stars and stripes on the ass. Seriously, that’s the only way to escape it. Otherwise you’re a femme fatale. Wear dark lipstick? Femme fatale. Wear something too skimpy or too concealing? Femme fatale. Don’t like talking to people? Femme fatale.”

“It’s bullshit,” said Ares, standing beside him and looking at his watch. “Where is he? It’s been ten minutes.”

Even in the dim light, his boss was a sight for sore eyes; dark curling hair, large and watchful brown eyes, a strong jaw and a body that would have stopped traffic even if it hadn’t been clad in tight Kevlar and midnight-blue spandex. There was a reason every major fan blogger ranked him fourth or higher on their Top Ten Sexiest Villains list, and it wasn’t just that they were afraid he’d show up at their homes and break all their stuff if they didn’t.

Not one to be easily deterred from his pet peeves, Red Velvet continued, “You know Laser and Ray, the speedster twins? I read an article last week that called those two femme fatales. I mean, that’s fucked up. They’re teenagers.”

“Yeah, Red, it sucks. Where the fuck is…”

The security camera they’d been keeping an eye on flashed. A lightning bolt shot out of it, briefly making the alley as bright as day. A second later, the lightning had taken on the shape of a slim man with his face hidden behind a vaguely piscine mask. The rest of his costume involved skin-tight grey spandex with a gold pattern on the arms and legs suggestive of scales, and thigh-high bitch boots that Ares had once tried to forbid him from wearing when they were on the job.

“Done,” said the Electric Eel, giving them both a thumbs-up and a crooked grin. “Alarm, cameras, drones, force field and nineteen booby-traps all toasted. Sorry it took a while. The guy who owns this place was prepared for fucking everything, from a crowbar to a cosmic monstrosity. Not for me, though.”

“People in this city are getting way too paranoid,” said Ares.

He wasn’t wrong. These days it seemed like every store and bank in Mercy City had high-end anti-supervillain tech on hand, courtesy of that precocious shit Digital Boy, the Remarkables’ top inventor.

Knowing that using his powers made Eel ravenously hungry, Red Velvet opened up his backpack and handed his partner-in-crime a banana and a half-squashed cupcake. As he wolfed them both down, Ares cracked his knuckles and said, “Finish that up and then let’s go, boys.”

He glanced skyward, pausing for a moment. When it was clear that no caped crusader was going to descend from on high and liven up their evening, he shrugged and led the League of Larceny over to the store’s back door.

READ THE REST FOR FREE HERE

[itstheinternetofthings]

Lumberjack

A few days before Halloween I am in Toronto with Bea of Poland. I am extremely depressed. She is new to the city and has been invited to a party, and she makes me go with her.

We throw costumes together from a thrift store. I buy a round glass vase and a scrubby blue scarf, which I wrap around my head as a turban. I’m a fortune teller.

As I get dressed I realize the turban is racist and I fling it backwards around my neck. I’m wearing my favorite winter dress - black velvet, puff sleeves, bell skirt, embroidered gold moons and stars. Bea wears an oversized pink suit with sunglasses and draws on a mustache and goes as Miami Vice.

We argue in the Uber and I get nauseous from Toronto stop-and-go traffic. I say I’m staying for one drink and that’s it.

The party is in a basement unit of an old house, and it’s amazingly decorated - entrails hanging from the ceiling, purple lights and strobes and bowls full of goblin fingers. I munch on some snacks and start talking to a handsome man dressed as skunk roadkill. He tells me he’s divorced and I tell him kind of so am I, and I tell him the story.

Then the funny thing happens where I start to sparkle and shine, where I become the funniest person in the room. My depression is hilarious. No one would ever believe it. Bea and I, always magic together, become friends with everyone at the party.

The skunk starts talking to Bea and I watch sparks fly. I decide we wouldn’t have been a good match anyway.

Then the tallest man I’ve ever seen comes over and introduces himself to me.

What are you supposed to be, I ask.

I don’t know, he said. I found this at value village and put on some eyeliner.

I roll my eyes.

Everyone at the party, including the tall man, I learn, went to art school at a place called Guelph. He spells it for me.

The PH makes an F sound, he says.

I know how letters work, I say.

We sit down on the ground, watching people play a game.

So…I was eavesdropping. Your fiance left you two months ago?

Yeah, I say.

Was he insane?

I laugh. I think so, yeah.

Then we are outside and he is kissing me, and I am so small so cute so precious with my face between his giant shovel hands. Then we are sitting on a low wall in the cold air and I climb onto his lap and he tells me I am so, so, so beautiful. He tells me he’d like to suck my toes. He tells me one of his first erotic memories - a girl in grade school wearing sandals in rural Canada, and how he stared and stared at her feet with fascination and fear.

You’re in luck, I tell him. My feet are exquisite.

Back inside Bea is snuggled up on the couch with the Skunk and we all start dancing. My towering paramour is goofy and silly and makes me feel included. To my great surprise I am happy. We stay out until 4am and fall asleep just before dawn.

The next day Bea and I take her dog to the park, deeply hungover. I make a plan to meet the tall man for a drink, because I leave the next morning and I probably won’t see him again and I’d like to do more kissing.

He suggests a bar near Bea’s apartment (chivalrous!). I wear my vintage coral cashmere turtleneck and my new olive green trousers. I get there before him and nurse a beer and wait. The bar is a dive full of DIY Halloween decorations, cash only. I am charmed.

He enters. He is taller than I ever thought possible - 6’8, I would learn, and he looks so different out of costume. Sweet face, brown beard, and the teeth of a man who has lived a very healthy and wholesome life. Most startling are his eyes, bright clear sea glass green.

He’s wearing boring tech guy clothes but they fit him well. It is hard, I learn, to buy clothes for a body so long.

The conversation is easy and fun. We each have two beers, maybe more, and then we go to his SUV to kiss. The car contains a hard hat, work boots, and a Nalgene - tools of the trade, whatever it is he does. We start kissing.

Look, it’s worth saying three things here:

1. I haven’t had sex in a very long time, due to the jilting

2. I stopped taking birth control (no one is hitting it raw anymore) and my hormones are SURGING

3. Even before my breakup, sex had gotten stale (as he let his hygiene go, and started fucking other women, and started to think I was boring)

(Am I qualifying this because I feel shame? About being easy, about being horny, about being starved for touch? I guess so. Something to look at)

All this to say, by the time the Lumberjack (the beard, the size, the Canadian flannel) touches my waist, I lose my mind. My chest flushing, my hips bucking, I fucking NEED him.

But of course, as seems to always happen, that morning I had gotten my period. I am not ready for the level of intimacy required to let someone touch me bleeding, so instead I yearn. I grind my crotch against his knee and enjoy the frustration.

I ask, naked hunger in my voice, if I can suck his cock. He lets me, and he moans. I love it when men moan. Sex without moaning is like food without salt. His cock in my mouth is a fetish object, and I enter the worship space. My favorite sexual state.

We both have to work early in the morning, and eventually pry ourselves off of each other. I say thank you, I needed that. I say I would like to see you again (because I’d like to have sex), and he says maybe he’d come visit New York - he’s never been.

We talk for another month before he comes. We text and send voice notes constantly, mostly about our days and our feelings, quotidian shit.

When he finally arrives in New York I have a migraine. It’s awkward. Who is this man in my house? Why do I have to talk and entertain and look cute?

Then we sit on my bed and start kissing, and suddenly we are alive and sweating, free at last over a month of built up tension to consume each other whole.

His body. How to describe it. The sheer size, for one. He’d sent me some slutty little videos - him naked after a shower, him masturbating to my texts- but it is still a treat. Chest hair and broad shoulders, powerful lean legs that go on for miles- the body of an Olympic god.

He puts his fingers inside of me, working my body like a puppet. I melt around him, gasping and starving, burying my face in his expansive chest.

He sucks my toes while I come, and then he takes me out for dinner at an Italian restaurant.

That night, for the first time in months, a beautiful man sleeps beside me. I feel conflicted and a little sad.

After that, the visit has its ups and downs.

The ups are mostly related to sex, which I am rediscovering with delight and fervor. No longer an insecure 20-something, I am now a grownup woman. I have juicy curves and full throated desires. I am not afraid of pleasure.

When we fuck, he says yes, yes, yes each time I shiver and moan, encouraging me, egging me on.

He gasps come for me baby in a voice choked with tenderness and emotion, and as I come he laughs and calls me a good girl.

He stares at me while I masturbate for him, fully engrossed in me, swelling and rising.

And some of the ups aren’t sexual at all:

Stretching on my living room floor, the breakfast burritos he makes on Sunday morning. Hitting his vape. Ice skating at Rockefeller center with my friends, watching him glide over the ice like a Canadian swan. The way he is so tall- so tall!!- and I feel like a tiny beautiful bunny nestled against him.

And there are the downs. To my irritation, I discover his disappointing humanness.

He complains about the cost of everything and takes pictures of trees and street performers and skyscrapers. On Saturday night he wants to go out dancing while I want to stay in and cry.

I am dismayed to discover that his rambling corny text style carries over into real life. He drones on and on about cement, curbs, railings, stop signs. He says “cwazy” instead of “crazy,” as if trying to be cutesy. I dont want cutesy. I want to be railed by Ice Poseidon.

After he leaves, it lasts a while longer - maybe a few more weeks, before he tells me he needs to stop texting me for his mental health. He knows I can’t give him what he wants - a relationship, a partner, commitment. I cry but I am relieved.

And that’s how I started dating again.

[lossisyours]

[...] beautiful, and it means so much to me, because that song... Um, that song was a song I wrote about Marjorie, my—my grandmother, my mom's mom. And, um, she was a singer too. And... And her voice is actually on that recording. So, we—we just played her singing in the stadium while you were doing that. It just means the world that you did that. I love you guys so much. This—this crowd, uhm, woah. You're like all on fire, it's insane. I just have a question: Is there anyone here who went to, um, a significant amount of effort in order to be here tonight? You see, it shows. It shows. It really does. Like—Like the way you're acting? You're acting like you really, really cared about coming to see us tonight. (*chef's kiss*) So incredible. Because, like, I mean—I'm seeing extreme metaphors in your costumes. I'm seeing, like, figurative, lyrical, symbolic representations of lyrics that are like... I'll even look out, and I'm like, oh, the traffic lights, that's from Death by a Thousand Cuts. Oh, that's a crumpled up piece of paper! That's... Uh, yeah, that's another sexy baby, yeah, yeah. Um, there's so many—um, just beautiful, um, thoughtful, generous people who are here tonight, I love you so much. There's been a lot that's gone on, a lot of things I have to thank you for and a lot of things we have to catch up on, right? Like, in the time since I've been able to tour, uh, we have added four new musical members to the family. We have added Lover... folklore, evermore, and last but not least, Midnights! And you know, when I was making evermore, that was the second pandemic album that I made. And in the pandemic, I really—it was too much to think about the fact that we might not be able to play live shows again. That we might not ever get to have a night like tonight. And I think that's also why I get so emotional up here when I see you all and when I, like, feel how much heart and soul you've brought to coming to this show. I didn't know if I was ever going to see this in my life. Um, and there were obviously so many worse things happening in the pandemic, um, so I—I just focused on connecting with you guys in a way that I could, right? Like, in the pandemic, you couldn't do live shows but I could write as many songs as possible and put out as many albums as possible... So I just did that! And, um, when I was making evermore where that resolve to not think about how sad I was about the possibility of live shows not coming back did break a little bit. The resolve to not think about it broke a little bit when I wrote a song that I just really, really thought it would be so fun to play with you and sing with you, and that song's called champagne problems.

Taylor before playing champagne problems in Nashville, TN on May 6th

[victory-cookies]

I had the worst, most murphy’s law, comedy of errors day today it was actually ridiculous. So last night I was feeling good. I was feeling motivated. I had put all of my laundry away immediately after getting it out of the dryer. Today was gonna be my day to turn my life around bc I felt motivated to clean to do homework to run my errands I was ready

and then I sleep through my fucking alarm.

okay, whatever, it’s fine. I had to go out to get shit for my Fionna costume so I decided to head out once I’d had breakfast. It wouldn’t take me much longer than an hour and I could come home and get right to my tasks.

so I’m at the fabric store, with a meter of fleece and some velcro, and I go to pay. And my debit card doesn’t fucking work no matter what I try. So I ask the woman if she could hold my stuff while I run to the atm to get cash. But the atm declines me too. I try to log onto my online banking and that doesn’t work either. At this point I assume I’ve been locked out of my card so I head back to the store, apologize, and tell her I need to drive to the bank about ten minutes away to try to get my card fixed. She says that that’s no problem and she’ll hold my stuff until the end of the day (they close at 5. It is currently 1:30)

so I head to the bank. The line is absurdly long but finally I get up to a clerk and am like “hey I think I’ve been locked out of my card please help” and so he checks and yeah I have, bc the two scholarship cheques I deposited yesterday had been flagged as “unusual and suspicious activity” and he says he’ll call and see if he can get it unlocked for me. We’re on hold for like fifteen minutes. At this point my sister has asked me to come pick her up from her friend’s. Finally this guy gets through and they’re like “lol we can’t do it unless she has the cheques there and you can verify” and obv I didn’t have them so he was like “well either you can go get the cheques and bring them in or you can wait until tomorrow when the photos will show up in the system and then your card will be unlocked”. I don’t want to do either of those things bc going home and coming back then going back to the fabric store would take another like two hours. So I say fuck it and go to pick up my sister with the intent of dragging her back to the fabric store and getting her to use her card.

at that moment it starts fucking bucketing. I start driving to her friend’s house and the road is nearly flooded I was so worried. And then as I’m heading out I end up directed onto the highway (highway driving makes me really anxious so I try to avoid it so I’m panicking). At this point the rain is coming down in sheets and I can’t see anything. Im about to cry. I exit the highway and then get directed onto another highway. The traffic is so bad that I can’t make it to the left turn lane and I miss my turn. I only barely make it to the next left turn and thank god I did bc if i didn’t I’d be on my way to the next town.

I get to my sister’s friend’s place and my sister gets in the car and I ask if we can go back to the fabric store and have her buy the poor fabric I have left cut and alone just sitting there (I felt bad. They had cut it for me already I needed to get it). She says no problem and so we head once more to the fabric store.

we pull up and the lights are off. It’s 3pm. They should not be closed. Confused, we get out and go to check, and they are in fact closed. A woman comes up to us and explains that THE FUCKING POWER WENT OUT IN THE ENTIRE MALL. They were closed for the day, along with every other store there, including the spirit halloween that I needed to go to as well and the a&w my sister wanted to grab food at

so we drive away. I have literally gained nothing from this. I have bought none of the things I needed to get. I have wasted so much gas. It is now 3:30 and I have done zero of the things I wanted to get done today. I was literally crying

[halloweennut]

one of the prompts from @fanfic-inator795 (thanks bestie)

Raph taking Casey Jr. to Teddy Bear Town (since I doubt they had teddies in the apocalypse)

“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Casey said slowly. “We aren’t going on patrol.”

“Nope!” Raph said. “Heads up - our stop is next.”

The fellow passengers on the subway didn’t seem to notice or care that they were sitting next to a teen in modified hockey gear or a giant teenage turtle in disguise. It was midday in the city after all, and there was never such a thing as a normal subway car. As long as they weren’t being a nuisance, no one really cared. The speaker system alerted them to the stop with it’s chime and standard ‘stand clear of the closing doors,’ and Raph led Casey through the small sea of people entering and exiting the train. 

“So what exactly are we doing?” he asked, following him down the platform and up the steps. “Are we running errands or something?”

“Sorta,” Raph said. “When you were talkin’ about how things were in your future, you said you didn’t have much in th’ way of toys or stuff.”

“I mean, I had a tetris cube,” Casey countered. “I uh...I didn’t finish it.”

“Yeah but I’m not countin’ that. I mean like...beyblades, legos, that kinda thing, y’know?” Raph looked across the street before continuing against the traffic with all the ease of a seasoned New Yorker. “Like, we all grew up with that stuff, and it’s not fair you didn’t.”

“I’m sixteen, I think I might be a little too old for this stuff-” Casey argued, running the last few steps to the next block to avoid a taxi. Raph turned to him.

“Never say that again. Trust me. I have stuff like this that makes me happy, so do the rest of the team,” Raph poked him in the chest. “Leo has his comics, Donnie has video games, and Mikey has whatever makes him happy in whatever given moment. He’s a magpie like that - after a life of verifiable BS, you deserve something too.” 

“Oh...fair enough,” Casey replied. He hadn’t really considered that. Resources were scare back in his timeline, and if by some miracle a toy survived, he was usually the first to give it to someone else. “So what makes you happy?”

“I like knitting,” Raph smiled. “And teddy bears.”

“Teddy bears?”

“Yep. Got a problem with it?”

“No, not at all. But uh...what is a teddy bear?” Casey asked. Raph looked at him, positively stricken in horror. 

“Oh, oh my god,” he replied, quickly turning down another street. “Okay, forget F.A.O. Schwartz - we can go there another day. I am morally bound to fix this. We’re going to Teddy Bear Town.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Raph!”

“They’re joy in a small, soft, stuffed bear.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“You will, sweet summer child, you will.”

“I was born in winter.” 

“We have so much to catch you up on.”

Raph pulled Casey to a stop in front of a gold and blue sign reading “Teddy Bear Town” in bright red letters. The windows were full of stuffed animals dressed in various costumes, all posed to look like they were playing or moving. It was, for lack of a better word, very cute. Casey could remember Raph when he was child, just barely, but he could recall that despite his size and teeth, the red turtle had always been gentle. It made sense that even now he still had that softness, he just didn’t need to hide it or shove it down in the face of war. 

The inside was just as cute and cuddly. Bins lined the walls of stuffing-less shells, animal faces still smiling up. Various stations followed, then walls of costumes. Raph directed him to the bins. “First, you pick a shell, then you go fill it at the station, then you pick an outfit.”

“Seems like a lot of work for a toy,” Casey said, picking up a random frog. 

“That’s part of the fun! The act of creation and shit,” Raph said, looking at the frog shell. “Me, I prefer a classic bear. I can’t say you seem like a frog guy.”

Casey shook his head. Raph scanned the bins quickly before finding the one he was looking for. He picked up and held out a soft, light brown bear shell. “Here, can’t beat a classic!”

He held the shell in his hands, stroking one of the paws with his thumb. The fur and velvet paw pads were soft, more soft than anything he could remember. Casey nodded. “Yeah, this is good.” 

Raph helped him through the rest of the process, and despite his reservations, Casey actually felt...at ease. Happy, even, and he couldn’t stop a grin through all the silliness of stuffing the bear with a heart and all of that. Surprise to none, Casey immediately chose a hockey player outfit, complete with skates and a hockey stick. 

“Beats patrol, huh?” Raph asked as they left. 

“Honestly? Yeah,” Casey replied, clutching the box holding his bear. “I honestly can’t remember ever being able to do this.”

Raph wasn’t surprised. Casey hadn’t really been able to a kid, and this was the least he could have done to remedy that. “We have a few hours to kill before actual patrol, let’s grab some pizza and go bum in the arcade - whaddya say?”

“That sounds...really nice.”