#that aside i do really recommend at least the first two films

[zannolin]

i dont think ive ever seen a narnia film. i think i read the beginning of one book? it wasnt the first. idk how but somehow i know this story and you are making me INSANE about it. i need to bite those four kids/monarchs/adults/myths and drag them back to narnia with my teeth. how dare you do this to me.

*opens ao3 about this*

the core experience of being a narnia fan is wanting to drag the pevensies back into narnia with your teeth i think. welcome to my hell

[murdercide626]

So I saw Deadpool & Wolverine, and it was a frikkin BLAST! :D

As someone who loved the first two Deadpool movies, I feel this one topped them both! Everything great about the first two movies was amplified, and in a way that feels natural for these movies, like they've all been leading up to this.

Yeah, the fanservice is very blatant and over-the-top, but it's actually handled surprisingly well. While there are some characters in this film that exist solely as easter eggs (mostly background characters), they are given enough justification so that they feel like they fit in this world. There are also cameo characters that are fleshed out, are given character arcs, and play significant roles as supporting characters. It kinda feels like "Spider-Man: No Way Home" in that respect, just with Wade winking at the audience on top of that (as one would expect from him, lol).

What really got me though was how they handled the character of Wolverine in this movie. Since it's mentioned in the trailers, I don't think it's really a spoiler that this Wolverine isn't the same one from the Logan movie and previous X-Men films, but a variant from a different timeline who has a different past of his own. Though the movie (specifically Wade) obviously pokes fun at the fact that it's Hugh Jackman playing Wolverine again, they actually do a great job establishing this version as his own unique character with a compelling story arc. This Wolverine character was handled fantastically and he had great chemistry with Deadpool in a sort of "buddy cop movie" kind of way. Jackman's still got it!

I think the one negative about the movie is that it does kinda require a bit of knowledge of the extended MCU content to understand what's going on. Like, if you haven't watched at least the first season of Loki you might be a little lost in some aspects. Maybe? I guess they do give enough context in the movie itself so an average audience member could get the gist. I dunno. lol

But that aside, this movie was a hell of a lot of fun, filled with action, over-the-top violence, humor both light and dark, and enough heart where it's needed to keep it all together. I highly recommend this movie, especially if you enjoy ridiculous action comedies, or are just a total comic book nerd. Give it a watch! ^^

[voidscarredadjudicator]

Anyways it's 3 am and I have work tomorrow. Clearly this is the perfect time to ramble about one of my favorite bands.

You've heard of fanfiction. You've heard of podfics. But have you ever heard of just straight up making two whole ass fucking albums of genuinely good rock opera ballads that stand on their own two feet as quality music that's all just very thinly veiled Mega Man grimdark AU fanfiction?

You have now.

These guys are The Protomen. You might've heard of them. You might've not. The point though is that they're rad as hell, and a genuine inspiration. I'm not sure about anyone's individual backstories, but they've been together as a group since at least 2005, and from then 'til this very day they've been working on this Mega Man AU of theirs in the form of song, with two major acts/albums out and a third one that's been in the works for years (with a single having dropped sometime last year).

"Gee Void," I hear you think, "This sounds incredibly cheesy! Also what's the status of Act II of Humanity's Endling?"

Yeah, and? Still kicks ass. Also see previous ask response.

Anyways, these guys go above and beyond a simple fan project. They've done tours, collabs, and even made a music video that's more akin to a short film - which is where my profile picture comes from, actually.

The best part about all of this though is that you honestly don't even need to be a fan of Mega Man whatsoever to be a fan of The Protomen, since so much has been changed around that it's entirely it's own continuity. I can personally attest to this, as I've been listening to these guys since at least 2015 and I've only just played my first Mega Man game earlier this year. The best way I could describe it is if somebody made a film adaptation of the Mega Man games in the 80's that doesn't quite get the story 1:1, except they actually tried to make the new story good in it's own right.

Act I, just called 'The Protomen', has a lot more of a grungy garage band sound, while Act II: The Father Of Death does this really cool thing where the first half of the album is western and it slowly transitions to 80's rock as the album goes on to signify the passing of time & advancement of technology in the story. Act II is a prequel, so you can listen to either album first.

You can probably guess where I got the inspiration to name the parts of Humanity's Endling 'acts' from. Well, this and a different band that also does the same thing with their music, but that's a different ramble post for another day.

Regardless, I won't spoil the story, so if you're gonna listen, I'd also recommend having the lyrics pulled up on the side as there's some extra lyric notes to read for some songs that give further story/context to the songs that are playing beyond just what the words are saying.

This isn't music I'd recommend just playing in the background while you're doing something else - set aside some time, about an hour and a half, to just listen and take it in. Treat it like you would a fanfiction. Of course, music tastes are subjective, so if it's not your thing, I understand.

But if you're still not convinced, here's a link to what is unequivocally their best song:

It's just over four minutes; give it a listen if you've got the time.

That's it from me. I should get to bed. This post took an hour to make. My sleep schedule is still in shambles.

Good thing I'm a closer! 🙃

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

we discussed why Ridley Scott's film is unlikely to be the way we would like it to be

so I have a question: what films/series about Napoleon more or less correctly represent real history? or just good in your opinion

oh man, I'm a bit of a picky person when it comes to Napoleonic films/series, but not in a logically consistent manner so people get a little confused sometimes. Which is fair.

I'll give you two rec's:

My favourite Napoleon movie is Monsieur N. I think what makes it work is that it's a historical AU, basically, and fills all my favourite tropes. Premise is that Napoleon, through a weird magic (?) thing, switches fates with his valet/spy Cipriani and manages to escape St. Helena.

As one can guess, it's only loosely, loosely based in history. The ages of some people are altered (Betsy Balcombe is aged up significantly so she can be an appropriate love interest for Napoleon; Barry O'Meara is in his late thirties/early forties for no apparent reason etc.). I feel like Albine got shafted in being cast as a bit of the Conniving Courtesan. Montholon is positioned as a poisoner, even though by the time the film was made that theory/story had been pretty heavily debunked. They omit Napoleon's crap treatment of Fanny Bertrand after she rebuffed his advances. Napoleon's still played too seriously - but that's a fault in literally almost every production ever.

That said, I love Bertrand in this. Gourgaud makes a rogue appearance and is suitably chaotic. I like Sir Hudson Lowe as well - I feel that Richard Grant was cast perfectly. The visuals are beautiful. It's just gorgeously filmed (I love the first confrontation/meet scene between Napoleon and Lowe - the playing with light, the choice of clothes, the switching through languages etc. it's masterful).

The historical inaccuracy aside, I actually liked the relationship between Napoleon and Betsy. I'm just like "clearly it's another Betsy Balcombe. Funny that two people have the same name on this small island!"

(Obviously, in reality, she was a literal child when she knew Napoleon. He was an uncle/older brother figure to her and she was clearly a surrogate daughter/niece to him. They pranked each other and teamed up to prank Lowe on the regular alongside playing silly games and mucking about.)

I love that it's a multi-lingual production so you have English, French and Corsican being spoken, as appropriate for the characters/people. The sound track is fitting. It's appropriately atmospheric.

So yeah, I am very fond of the film. But it's just a fun, stupid romp.

You can't go in expecting a Real Historical And/Or Accurate Account of Napoleon on St. Helena. Thankfully, the film never positions itself as such a thing. It's very clearly a What If + Fanfiction. I recommend going in and treating it like a slightly more serious Knight's Tale in its approach to history (vibes & essence over facts). If you do that, you'll have a blast. If you go in looking for Historical Napoleon or whatever, you'll hate it.

I also may or may not have a Thing for Philippe Torreton (who plays Napoleon). So. That might also inform my affection for this dumb film.

-----

I remember enjoying the 2002 French miniseries Napoleon (with Christian Clavier and Isabella Rossellini). As with all series and films, it has its issues (there are definite inaccuracies), but I liked it overall. I feel they hit the emotional beats between Napoleon and Josephine really well.

(While she's not older than him in it, at least the actors the same age and she's not like 16 years younger than Napoleon /eye roll.)

The scene when she reams him out during their divorce is powerful (she does this great thing about how he always wanted to make it clear that he's separate from the ancien regime and Not Like Those People but what is he doing now? He's marrying one of Marie Antoinette's relatives. And like, she is calling him out for his political inconsistency, and making the point that it's a bad decision in terms of Optics, but it's also so clearly much more than that. It's well done). Napoleon's reaction when he learns that she's died is heart breaking and well rendered/believable.

There is also humour and convivial moments that are often lacking in historical biopics with him, which I appreciate (love the "you need to take the Austrian uniform off the scarecrow or we'll have an International Incident on our hands" scene).

There's a rogue Coulaincourt who makes an appearance! Nice to see him. Same with Lannes - glad he makes an appearance. Though there's no Duroc or Junot, unfortunately. (Granted, I understand the need to keep the cast to a reasonable amount of people.)

So yeah, it's an entertaining series. It's a bit of a "classic" in the sense that I feel like anyone who has gone through a Napoleon Phase watches it.

----

Truly, the best representation of Napoleon is in Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Adventure. You're welcome.

----

I hope this helps!

[borealopelta]

10 questions for 10 writers

the beloved @arokel tagged me aaages ago and i'm finally doing it yayyy!

1. Is writing a hobby or a way of life?

a hobby i think. i do write a lot and it's a big part of my life but i wouldn't define myself as a writer you know? i'm just someone who writes :)

2. A journal full of notes or a clean completed manuscript?

journal full of notes!! i usually get tiny snippets of Disjointed Scenes stuck in my head and i recently realised that if i wrote them out i could. come back to them later if i wanted instead of forgetting them like a cool person. so i'm doing that in my notes app for now. but theoretically i'm all for a clean manuscript i'm literally incapable of writing a fic out of order aside from my little notes

3. Who or what inspired your writing?

honestly this question is stumping me a little. i don't know? i've been writing and telling stories from a very young age and i never had Big Inspirations. i do have people who influence my style (see the three authors i mention in question 8....holy shit to be able to write like that) but inspiration? idk i don't think i'm even getting what kind of inspiration this is asking about.

4. Which is worse: Someone you ‘idolize’ reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

Definitely singing. i don't mind people i look up to reading my stuff! even if it could be improved!! but singing for an audience is horrible :)

5. Has writing from someone else’s POV changed your perspective?

i'm a very emotional person and experience everything all the time except for when i shut off and stop feeling at all for a bit. the latter is a rare occurrence and i'm generally all about emotions so writing my favourite oc who operates on a Very low emotional spectrum was (is) a really interesting experience. i have to put a lot of thought into how bella sees the world but i Love the way his brain works so he's always worth the effort and i'm thankful to him for showing me something new

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

no wattpad....how quickly forget our dark history. anyway yeah it's ao3!!! i Love the way ao3 works i did Not learn to navigate FFN well enough (not for lack of trying btw) to ever really use it

7. AO3 word count? And are you satisfied with it?

137,805. i'm a notorious fic deleter so it's not representative of the amount i've written over the years but. yeah! i'm happy with that. i obviously want to write more but word count is one of the stats i care least about

8. What movie/book gripped you irrevocably?

for books it's either the hungarian selection aka Verhovina madarai by Bodor Ádám and Termőtestek by Sepsi László - two novels i think about literally all the time - or Tell Them of Battles, Kings, and Elephants by Mathias Énard which i keep recommending to LITERALLY everyone because it's so beautiful. btw read tell them of battles kings and elephants by mathias énard it's so beautiful. for movies i guess dead poets society? aesthetically & also its message is so beautiful and i love a robin williams film

9. What’s the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?

i don't know!!! any compliment makes me happy. but i love hearing that people came back to reread multiple times. like omg!! welcome back i'm so glad my sillies are in your brain

10. What defines your writing style?

i like to think my descriptions are pretty definitive, i loooooove stacking adjectives and adverbs and stuff with hyphens and commas and ands and other verbal connective tissue i love describing things in very specific ways and i think my writing also has a unique rhythm because of how hungarian works and how that translates to english. but that's just inside my brain idk!! my writing might be the most generic shit to everyone else :]

[monstermonstre]

31 days of horror 2023 (part 1/?)

Every year in October I challenge myself to watch 31 horror movies, 1 for each day, with varying success. If you're new here, I love horror and so the challenge is more about the commitment, than pushing myself to do something I wouldn't enjoy or do otherwise (thankfully).

So far, so good, I haven't watched anything that angered me or bored me to death. Those first 11 days were actually pretty great overall, and with only 2 rewatches.

Cherry Falls (2000): I thought a slasher starring Brittany Murphy would be an easy like but instead this was the only film in the bunch I did not care for. The attempted subversion of one of the genre's best known tropes (the Virgin Will Be Spared) was not done in a way that felt compelling; the script felt like there were too many cooks in the kitchen, like so many hands had touched it that the original intent had been lost; and aside from that one subversion it was just too bland, too unremarkable. And the transphobia didn't help. Brittany Murphy was stellar tho.

Possibly in Michigan (1983): Day 2 found me already scrambling for a short film as my day was ending, and lucky me otherwise I might have never watched this classic. "80s feminist cannibalism musical" feels like it's maybe doing it a disservice but it's what got me to watch it and I wouldn't know how to begin to talk about it in a more substantial way. If that tagline appeals to you in any way, it's on Youtube, go watch it.

The Exorcist (1973): I had seen that movie once as a teenager, when I was still very new to horror, and all I remembered from it were the scares. Watching it now, the scares are the least of the impressions the movie made on me. If I was a sadist with a cinema I'd program a triple feature on loneliness, alienation, and the loss of the body with this, Lake Mungo, and the original Cat People. (P.S.: I really recommend the following video essay.)

4. The Exorcist III (1990): First time watching and it scared the shit out of me. I loved it but I haven't been scared like that in a while. Again, there's nothing I could say about this that hasn't been said before. It had some of the worst (honorary) and best things I've ever seen. There is a carp swimming up and down in my brain.

5. Chucky S3E1: Yes episodes of TV count. Anyway, Chucky is back, it's my favourite horror franchise and the show has been, so far, one of the most fun I've had following a TV show ever. That season 3 premiere was a bit underwhelming for me, but certainly not bad. I'm looking forward to the rest.

6. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010): Suffering depression from watching the two Exorcist movies back to back, I decided that rewatching a horror comedy I loved was in order. I used to worship Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, but now...it felt very "eh". I've been damaged by too many excellent films and some of the jokes from this classic just didn't do it as much for me anymore (aside from the "howdy-oh officer, we've had a doozy of a day" bit that makes me crack up every time). However it was still a good time and Dale is still one of the hottest man in horror.

7. Motel Hell (1980): Found out about this one through Stephen Graham Jones' Indian Lake trilogy and I wasn't expecting much from it so I was delighted when I found out how funny it was. Great time for slasher lovers, darkly funny, great performances, some really neat imagery (altho I could've done without the sound the "plants" made, like nails on a chalkboard). Just a silly good time.

8. No One Will Save You (2023): I appreciated the risks this movie took and its story but I struggled to get invested at all. Maybe the alien element just wasn't for me, the minute I saw one of the aliens (which kudos to the film for not beating around the bush and going straight into it) I just stopped caring. I did have a good time overall tho and I was pleasantly surprised at, again, the risks taken and the resistance to spelling every thing out to the audience. The ending was pretty neat.

9. Shutter (2004): The winner of my little poll and I'm grateful to everyone who voted for it. I have no idea how this film ended up on my watchlist but I had been putting it off for while because ghost movies are still one of the subgenres of horror that terrifies me the most. I am glad I was pushed to see this because not only was I not that scared (no really, I didn't even jump that much, I certainly was much calmer than when watching Exorcist III, I am so brave) but I really loved the film's atmosphere and visuals. It's rare, I feel, to see a horror movie so awash with light more or less constantly and still retaining a very compelling moodiness and tension. Very unique atmosphere and that ending wowed me. Also was I the only one to read Natre as trans? I even felt like the film was implying it for a while.

10. Creep (2014): Creep was also in my little poll and, when it ended, I realised I felt slightly disappointed it hadn't won. So instead of waiting on an excuse to watch it, and feeling emboldened by my frankly supernatural bravery during Shutter, I decided to just watch it. And it was the calmest I've ever felt during a found footage film. Seriously not one of the jumpscares got me, that's absolutely unheard of with me. But that didn't make me have any less of a good time. I thought it was hilarious (but obviously not funny in a way that I would recommend it to most people I know), Duplass was magnetic, and I really enjoyed the storytelling. It was also pretty close in some ways to a wrestling storyline that I'm very invested in at the moment so maybe that contributed to how tranquil a time I had. Again, if I owned a cinema and was sick in the head I'd do a double feature with this and the 2022 documentary Mister Organ.

11. Creep 2 (2017): I hate those Reader X Fictional Character fics that haunt tags on here but that's what that film was and I had a good time with it.

If you've read this far: wow. (and see you soon for part 2)

[subbyfoxelf]

[comic review] men in black (1997)

the original three men in black comics were first published by aircel comics, who were bought by malibu comics. malibu published book ii before themselves being swallowed by industry behemoth marvel comics a few years later. marvel didn’t do anything with the men in black ip until it became a major summer blockbuster, at which point they published four one shots to capitalize on the success of the movie. the first of these one shots was actually just a reprint of the men in black #1, which they released under the issue’s original story title as “men in black: initiation.”

perhaps feeling a need to close the book on the previous continuity, or else as part of some misguided attempt to tie the comics continuity in with the movie, marvel next released men in black: far cry. this one shot was a loose continuation of the continuity established in the men in black and the men in black book ii, acting as a sort of bookend on the series along with the rereleased first issue. i don’t really have anything to say about it that i didn’t already cover in my review of those two books, except to say that marketing this as a prequel to the movies is just very silly. the comics and movies are just drastically different beasts, and trying to imply that tommy lee jones’ character has anything in common with the asshole in the comics, let alone is actually the same person, is just a bridge too far for me. nor do i especially appreciate the idea that the mib is actually the sinister “shooting first means you don’t have to ask questions later” organization depicted in the original comics and this continuation.

marvel’s next offering was men in black: the movie, which was as its title implies just a very straightforward adaptation of the movie. to be fully transparent i mostly just skimmed this one to get the general idea, but it follows the movie pretty closely aside from the dialogue and action being pared down to better fit a comic single.

lastly was men in black: retribution, explicitly marketed as a comic book sequel to the movie. like the actual film sequel that would come out five years later, a major plot point was the reversal of k’s neuralization. retribution is pretty easily the best mib comic i’ve read. though, that’s coming from someone who hates the rest of the comics and loves the movie, so take that for what it’s worth. i’d still only give it a b or maybe even a c, and i wouldn’t really recommend it (even for fans of the movie), but out of all of them it was the least of a chore to read.

[finerllines]

vogue secrets [dad/husband!harry]

a/n: i have been really into domestic harry at the moment so this is a short blurb that is hopefully easy to read and comforting <3 reblogs and comments are always appreciated luv u (based on this) talk to me about my writing!!

summary: get unready with harry

wc: 900

tw: none :-)

///

“Hello Vogue, this is Harry Styles and come get unready with me.” Harry punctuates his introduction with a wave and closed-mouthed smile, donned in a fluffy purple robe.

He feels weird doing his daily nighttime routine in front of a ring light and camera instead of beside his wife, but being able to hear her pottering around in their room was making the process a little less mechanic.

It was the first pit-stop on tour, and he was staying at a service apartment in New York with his wife and twins. Normally, he wouldn’t sacrifice his day off to do any sort of work or promo. But he figured he could get this done pretty quickly, and Vogue had been so gracious to him before. At least he already got to rock the twins to bed and sit on the counter and watch y/n did her skincare routine.

Harry picks up a headband with cat ears and shows it off to the camera with a cheeky grin. “First things first, we have’ta push the hair back. My wife scolds me when I come to bed with a wet fringe.” When his hair is secured under the headband, he puts up a peace sign and poses for the camera, giving everyone the perfect opportunity to screenshot Harry Styles with cat ears.

“This is the cleanser I use,” he brings the tube close to the lens for it to focus on the label.

“Since having the babs I’ve been breakin’ out a lot more because they like to put their dirty lil’ hands all over my face, so my wife recommended this one to me. If I’m carryin’ ‘em and their excited about something they like to smack their hands about, and most of the time they end my smacking my face.” Despite rolling his eyes and shaking his head, he could not stop a fond smile from creeping onto his face.

As he lathers his cleanser onto his face, the bathroom door opens and y/n walks in whilst typing on her phone.

“H, did your mum get back to you about the –“

“Honey, I’m filming,” he says, quickly reaching forward to angle the camera so that his wife, who was just in his shirt and underwear, was out of frame.

Immediately freezing on the spot, y/n looks up from her phone alarmed. She sheepishly mutters, “Sorry, H,” and creeps out of the bathroom backwards.

“That was the woman who taught me everything I know about skincare everyone,” he says to the camera with a proud grin. “Now, let’s wash this stuff off shall we.” He reframes the shot and ducks his head down to rinse off the cleanser.

Reemerging with a towel, he says with his eyes still closed, “Only pat your face, don’t rub it dry.” As he tosses the towel aside, he adds softly, “My wife taught me that as well.”

He wipes his toner over his face and launches into a little rant about how he isn’t sure that toners do anything. And as he stands fanning his face with his hands, a loud wail can be heard. Moving on instinct, Harry immediately pokes his head out the bathroom door and shouts, “Do you need me lovie?”

“I got it H, it’s just the one bab. I’m going to give her a bottle.”

“Sorry, let me check on the other baby. You can edit round this bit,” he tells the camera, before darting out with his headband still on. When he gets back, he wipes imaginary sweat off his forehead with an exaggerated huff. “My wife’s got it handled everyone, nothing to worry about.”

“We’re almost done everyone. My routine is actually only three steps but it’s taken me” – he takes a peak at the time on his phone – “oof, twenty five minutes to get through two steps for some reason. Right, let’s slap on some moisturiser so I can get in bed with my wife.”

Silently, Harry picks up a tub of moisturiser and holds it up as if he was doing an infomercial. With big, exaggerated movements, he dabs the product all over the face, then rubs it in slowly. Once he is done, he whips of the headband and makes a show of shaking out his hair.

“That’s it, pretty simple. I am officially unready and ready for bed. I hope you guys had fun watching me put stuff on my face, and um, enjoy the rest of tour. Goodnight.” He signs off with another smile and wave.

Harry slips out of his on-camera persona and turns all the equipment off. He exits the bathroom to see y/n already tucked under the thick duvet, face illuminated by her phone. Taking off his robe, his lips form a pout as he slowly makes his way to the bed.

Looking up at his, y/n coos, “Aw, did my baby have a hard day at work, washing your face for camera?”

“Shut up, I missed you.” He crawls under the duvet and immediately curls around y/n, his head taking residence on her chest. “Did Darce give you a hard time?”

She puts her phone down and starts running her fingers through his hair. “No, she was an angel. Went right to sleep after I fed her.”

Snuggling closer, Harry buries his face further into her chest. “My perfect chunky girl,” he hums, voice muffled.

With one last kiss to the top of his head, they exchanged goodnights and slowly fell asleep, content with the life they had built for themselves.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Orphan: First Kill (2022)

I know 2009’s Orphan strains plausibility but its demented nature is exactly the kind of thing I lean into. The 2022 prequel, Orphan: First Kill also indulges in the same sort of loopiness but it could've gone even further. The biggest issue with this film is that it doesn’t assign its running time well; wasting time on a first half that’s a lot of “been there, done that” when there's so much stuff in its second half it could expand upon.

In 2007, psychiatric patient Leena Klammer (Isabelle Fuhrman), a 31-year-old woman with a rare hormonal disorder that makes her look like a 10-year-old child escapes from the Saarne Institute. Masquerading as Esther Albright, a child who disappeared 4 years ago, she is brought “home” to wealthy artist Allen (Rossif Sutherland), his wife Tricia (Julia Stiles) and their teenage son, Gunnar (Matthew Finlan).

There are at least 2 dead bodies before the plot even kicks in, which makes the title a misnomer... but never mind. After Leena/Esther's escape, "First Kill" tries to establish its murderous, insane protagonist as a master manipulator who can con her way out of any situation… but fails to convince us. Once accepted as the missing Albright girl, “Esther” makes all sorts of mistakes that you figure will reveal her as an obvious fake. It’s actually a bit frustrating because the first half of the movie is just repeating what we saw in 2009. Esther pretends to be sweet and innocent but she encounters these nasty people that make her true nature emerge, she’s got this thing for the father, the mom starts suspecting something is up, etc. The only major deviations are the prequel-y scenes that answer questions you really didn't need answering: how she learned how to make art with those black light paints, how she managed to get all the way from Estonia to the United States, etc. It's not surprising until we get to a critical point in the story. To tell you what happens means spoiling a big event about halfway through but I don’t feel too bad about doing this, since, without this innovation, the movie isn't doing anything interesting.

We learn - in a deliciously loony scene - that mommy has always known that Esther wasn’t the real thing. She knows the real Esther is dead - accidentally killed by her older brother. Now the tiny demon is trapped in a house with two people as - if not more - despicable than she is. It makes for a really interesting turn. Officially, we're supposed to care for the innocent bystanders - not the killers - in horror film sequels but this movie knows who we really came to see. It makes up for the unremarkable intro. In fact, it's too bad we don't spend even more time with this scenario. Maybe then we'd understand why Esther might think she could ever seduce Allen. As is, they just don't have enough scenes together for you to even believe she's fallen in love with him. I'm sort of so-so on this film, leaning a bit more towards recommending it than not but the second half of this movie makes me want to see another picture, one that pushes good taste aside even further and maybe has her worm her way into a family where the dad is just as twisted and evil as her.

While there are missed opportunities in Orphan: First Kill and there are a few points where it struggles with all of the questions we “wanted” answered, this picture won me over by the end. Initially, the film is treading on a lot of familiar territory but the second half moves in a clever and unexpected direction. I don’t know if it’s wild enough to get someone who wasn’t a fan of the original to be enthusiastic about it but as someone who really enjoyed the original, I feel Orphan: First Kill growing on me. (October 12, 2022)

[the-shared-brain-in-retrograde]

The Cabin in the Woods

or What if Thor wasn't a God?

A joint review...

Well this was better wasn't it? Nice bit of agreement that this is a good fun film. Should we be concerned that we find such comfort in gore fuelled horror? Meh.

The twist on the convention is revealed surprisingly early in the film, the first scene to be fair, which is a bold but brilliant move and we love it. You know that something is wrong. You don't realise quite how wrong it is, but you know you're in for something good. Unlike them kids. Who are in for a world of hurt.

It does raise the question how one gets a job in demon keeping. Asking for a friend... And while we're on the topic how do you think they screen candidates to make sure they don't fall in love with the monsters, anything specific to look out for? Again, just asking for that friend…

We both really recognised the two lead 'horror co-ordinators' (we'd be quite interested to know their official title as it’s taken us a while to try and work out what to call them, their names I suppose would have been better, Sitterson and Hadley) , which turns out to be because they are professional actors but it took us a while to work out where from. They're good, a little boys-clubby to be fully liked, and probably get what they deserve in the end, but pretty good none the less. Very gallows humour, and we do love that a lot. Fred from Angel was there too, nice to see. And Andrew from Buffy. The whole gang. We also have Daniel Truman, who doesn't seem to want to be there but is used as a good excuse for a little exposition, aside from the work place banter about killing kids for the elder Gods.

Aside from everyone dying horribly, would you want to work there?

@cassandrafey: No, I don't know that I am the right person to work there. It wasn't a very nice building, and no one seemed to be very nice to each other, and the monster slaughter at the end. But I suppose better to work there than be part of the rituals.

@becksxoxo: I work in a 1960s concrete monstrosity, and what's a little light-hearted work place banter between friends? For the majority of this film I was considering getting my CV updated to go for a job, but it does take a turn at the end I suppose. How bad does your current job have to be for you to consider being ripped apart by mindless monsters than go back to trying to be civil with certain colleagues? Mmmm mindlessly ripped to shreds...

Obviously this is where we are meant to be introduced to the stereotypes, the characters that these unassuming teens are meant to play. But we're not, not really any way, because as the film points out that's not really the way the world works, and you have to work with what you've got. We will say though that neither of us have got halfway through getting dressed and just forgot to put bottoms on. But then we wouldn't want the male gaze getting bored, would we?

Dana - the virgin

Jules - the whore

Curt - the athlete

Holden - the scholar

Marty - the fool

We know that they are all there to play a role (even if they themselves do not yet) but none of them quite fill this. They're all a little too well rounded, a little bit more real, and this cements that this is all a ruse. A forced narrative based on the classic, all a means to an end. It also makes the fact that they're all friends a little more meaningful. These are a group of friends, unlike the odd mixture in the traditional films who are so different that it makes no sense for them to be hanging out together, other than to fulfil the narrative.

As we're introduced to them all we get our first glimpse of our Thor. His head the same thickness as his neck. But he seems alright, questionable accent, but I guess we'll let it slide. To emphasise the point above he gives book recommendations on highbrow topics, and much to Cassandra's mother's probable disgust, Becks doesn't think that Chris Hemsworth (who Cass has referred to twice in her notes as C Hemmy - werp) has read a book. So good acting there, and proves he, at least before the manipulation begins, isn't just a big dumb jock.

Neither of us have ever been so desperate for petrol that we have had to stop at a murder garage, (we have just gone on a tangent about Jeremys and a highly inappropriate game, but we will spare you from both of these things) but again these things do seem to happen quite a bit in the American film business. Do y'all not have chain petrol stations? Or, just plan your routes and timings a bit better. Here's a little advice for you Cass when you're road tripping at the end of the month, go to a supermarket for your petrol, and don't let it get low. Also don't summon the dead from the comfort of your cabin, but we get ahead of ourselves.

We really enjoyed the guys at the facility taking the piss out of Mordecai, and how seriously he took it all. There's always someone at work who takes it all too seriously, and we don't condone work place bullying, but... Cass has also just added, just because you know the existence of elder Gods nearby that is not an excuse to live in squalor. So think on that good people.

Curt (dear old Chris) kept saying his cousin had bought a house in the woods, and we would like it to be known that we think it is pretty rich to try and describe that place as a house. Even a cabin is a stretch. Murder shack. Dirty, grubby, murder shack, complete with perv mirror, other people's possessions in the basement, all cursed, and a series of torture chambers that seemed to stretch further than the footing of the actual building. These architects really are good, aren't they?

We would like to take a moment to commend and applaud Jules and her make out session with that wolf. She really went for it, the acting, the kissing. It was very Angela Carter-esque, and we commend it. More worthy of an Emmy nomination than some people…

And this is where the hardcore manipulation begins (ooooh kinky). Japan has just fallen, and so have the other monsters around the globe, so it’s down to the good ol' US of A to save the day. Starting by making a girl get her tits out. USA USA USA...

We enjoyed the sweep stake, for varying reasons. Cass said she was coming at it from an academic viewpoint, and would have been intrigued to find out all the options available. Becks just likes placing bets on other people's suffering. We both did enjoy how sad Hadley was about missing out on that merman. His life's ambition.

Cass says there is probably quite an interesting debate to be had about freewill and religion here, but we are not going to have it.

Instead we will say don't read Latin (or any dead language really) out of old books. But then really, don't do any of the stupid things people do in horror films. Don't stand by windows. Or with your back to the door. Don't split up. Don't go have sex in the mossy mud when you have a perfectly good and more hygienic space. Don't reopen a locked door when you know there are murderers outside to go find your murdered friend, who you already know is definitely murdered. Don't go into basements. Don't buy a house with dead peoples things still in it. Don't leave your own house, find a place of your own and never leave. Don't talk to strangers. Don't have sex, you will get pregnant and die.

We then get to see them all killed off. This was more enjoyable for one half of the brain than the other, but the phrase 'you do you' has just been used so we won't go into much discussion about it, other than to say it’s good to see each trope be played out in such dramatic fashion, and to see the slow realisation of something not be right aside from the dead rising. Plus Marty is back so that's good too.

We also begin to see the cracks getting bigger down below, as the plan begins to shatter and the Gods begin to stir, and chaos begins to consume all.

We're not sure we'd like to descend a lift to hell, especially as it was more just a monster zoo rather than sexy party vibes that we'd hoped for. Cass didn't mind watching it happen to other people though. It was nice to see all the 'here's what you could have won' monsters in their little cubicles, until they were released and killed everyone. That was sort of a downer.

Then Sigourney Weaver turns up, always a treat, to give a motivational speech about the greater good. In her powder blue power suit.

Would we have killed Marty? No probably not, but for different reasons it turns out. Is the Shared Brain imploding? Is this the end? Should we point out evil and fix it, or should we join it and make it worse? Who knew this film could be so thought provoking?

We are both fans of horror, and especially a good ol slasher gore fest, so we enjoy this film for both gifting us with tradition but also flipping it on its head. We enjoy rubbing the underbelly of horror. We're also really pleased Hadley got his merman in the end, he really deserved it.

And that's it. What if...? season has come to an end, and we'll be taking a bit of a break for the rest of the month, to come back in April for Phase 4.

See you soon film fans...

[kmclaude]

Forgive me Father, I have no awful headcanons for you, only a general question on comic making. How do you do it, writing-wise/how do you decide what points go where, how do you plot it out (or do you have any resources on the writing aspect that you find useful?) Not to get too bogged down in details, but I attended a writer’s workshop and the author in residence suggested I transfer my wordy sci-fi WIP into graphic novel script, as it might work better. (I do draw, but I don’t know if I have it in me to draw a whole comic—characters in motion? Doing things? With backgrounds? How dare, why can’t everyone just stand around looking pretty)

I was interested but it quickly turned into a lot of internal screaming as I tried to figure out how to compress the hell out of it, since novels are free to do a lot more internal monologuing and such compared to a comic format (to say nothing of trying to write a script without seeing how the panels lay out—just for my own sake, I might have to do both concurrently.)

As an aside, to get a feel for graphic novels I was rereading 99RM and was reminded of how great it was—tightly plotted, intriguing, and anything to do with Ashmedai was just beautifully drawn. I need more Monsignor Tiefer and something something there are parallels between Jehan and Daniel in my head and I don’t know if they make sense but it works for me. (As an aside, I liked the emphasis on atonement being more than just the word sorry, but acknowledgment you did wrong and an attempt to remedy it—I don’t know why that spoke to me the way that it did.)

I thought Tumblr had a word count limit for asks but so far it has offered zero resistance, oh well. I don’t have much else to say but on the topic of 99RM, Adam getting under Monsignor’s skin is amazing, 10/10 (about the Pride picture earlier)

wow tumblr got rid of the markdown editor! or at least in asks which means the new editor probably has no markdown....god i hate this site! anyway...

Totally! So first, giant thank you for the compliments! Second, I have a few questions in turn for you before I dive into a sort of answer, since I can give some advice to your questions in general but it also sounds like you have a specific conundrum on your hands.

My questions to your specific situation are:

did the author give any reason for recommending a, in your words, "wordy" story be turned into a graphic novel?

is the story you're writing more, like you said, "internal monologuing"? action packed? where do the visuals come from?

do you WANT it to be a comic? furthermore, do you want it to be a comic you then must turn around and draw? or would you be interested in writing for comics as a comic writer to have your words turned into art?

With those questions in mind, let me jump into the questions you posed me!

Let me start with a confession...

I've said this before but let me say it again: Ninety-Nine Righteous Men was not originally a comic — it was a feature-length screenplay! And furthermore, it was written for a class so it got workshopped again and again to tighten the plot by a classroom of other nerds — so as kind as your compliments are, I'm giving credit where credit is due as that was not just a solo ship sailing on the sea. On top of that, it got adapted (by me) into a comic for my thesis, so my advisor also helped me make it translate or "read" well given I was director, actor, set designer, writer, editor, SFX guy, etc. all in one. And it was a huge help to have someone say "there is no way you can go blow by blow from script to comic: you need to make edits!" For instance, two scenes got compressed to simple dialogue overlaid on the splashpage of Ashmedai raping Caleb (with an insert panel of Adam and Daniel talking the next day.) What had been probably at least 5 pages became 1.

Additionally, I don't consider myself a strong plotter. That said, I found learning to write for film made the plotting process finally make some damn sense since the old plot diagram we all got taught in grammar school English never made sense as a reader and definitely made 0 sense as a writer — for me, for some reason, the breakdown of 25-50-25 (approx. 25 pages for act 1, 50 for act 2 split into 2 parts of 25 each, 25 pages for act 3) and the breaking down of the beats (the act turning points, the mid points, the low point) helped give me a structure that just "draw a mountain, rising action, climax is there, figure it out" never did. Maybe the plot diagram is visually too linear when stories have ebb and flow? I don't know. But it never clicked until screenwriting. So that's where I am coming from. YMMV.

I should also state that there's Official Ways To Write Comic Scripts to Be Drawn By An Artist (Especially If You Work For A Real Publisher As a Writer) and there's What Works For You/Your Team. I don't give a rat's ass about the former (and as an artist, I kind of hate panel by panel breakdowns like you see there) so I'm pretty much entirely writing on the latter here. I don't give a good god damn about official ways of doing anything: what works for you to get it done is what matters.

What Goes Where?

Like I said, 99RM was a screenplay so it follows, beat-wise, the 3-act screenplay structure (hell, it's probably more accurate to say it follows the act 1/act 2A/act 2B/act 3 structure.) So there was the story idea or concept that then got applied to those story beats associated with the structure, and from there came the Scene-by-scene Breakdown (or Expanded Scene Breakdown) which basically is an outline of beats broken down into individual scenes in short prose form so you get an overview of what happens, can see pacing, etc. In the resources at the end I put some links that give information on the whole story beat thing.

(As an aside: for all my short comics, I don't bother with all that, frankly. I usually have an image or a concept or a bit of writing — usually dialogue or monologue, sometimes a concrete scene — that I pick at and pick at in a little sketchbook, going back and forth between writing and thumbnail sketches of the page. Or I just go by the seat of my pants and bullshit my way through. Either or. Those in many ways are a bit more like poems, in my mind: they are images, they are snapshots, they are feelings that I'm capturing in a few panels. Think doing mental math rather than writing out geometric proofs, yanno?)

Personally, I tend to lean on dialogue as it comes easier for me (it's probably why I'm so drawn to screenwriting!) so for me, if I were to do another longform GN, I'd probably take my general "uhhhhhh I have an idea and some beats maybe so I guess this should happen this way?" outline and start breaking it down scene by scene (I tend to write down scenes or scene sketches in that "uhhhh?" outline anyway LOL) and then figure out basic dialogue and action beats — in short, I'd kind of do the work of writing a screenplay without necessarily going full screenplay format (though I did find the format gave me an idea of timing/pacing, as 1 page of formatted script is about equal to 1 minute of screentime, and gave me room to sketch thumbnails or make edits on the large margins!) If you're not a monologue/soliloque/dialogue/speech person and more an image and description person, you may lean more into visuals and scenes that cut to each other.

Either way this of course introduces the elephant in the panel: art! How do you choose what to draw?

The answer is, well, it depends! The freedom of comics is if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. You have the freedoms (and audio limitations) of a truly silent film with none of the physical limitations. Your words can move in real time with the images or they can be a narrative related to the scene or they could be nonsequitors entirely! The better question is how do you think? Do you need all the words and action written first before you break down the visuals? Do you need a panel by panel breakdown to be happy, or can you freewheel and translate from word and general outlines to thumbnails? What suits you? I really cannot answer this because I think when it comes to what goes where with regard to art, it's a bit of "how do you process visuals" and also a bit of "who's drawing this?" — effectively, who is the interpreter for the exact thing you are writing? Is it you or someone else? If it's you, would you benefit from a barebones script alongside thumbnailed paneling? Would you be served by a barebones script, then thumbnails, then a new script that includes panel and page breakdowns? What frees you up to do what you need to do to tell your story?

If I'm being honest, I don't necessarily worry about panels or what something will look like necessarily until I'm done writing. I may have an image that I clearly state needs to happen. I may even have a sequence of panels that I want to see and I do indeed sketch that out and make note of it in my script. But exactly how things will be laid out, paneled, situated? That could change up until I've sketched my final pencils in CSP (but I am writer and artist so admittedly I get that luxury.)

How do I compress from novel to comic?

Honest answer? You don't. Not really. You adapt from one to another. It's more a translation. Something that would take forever to write may take 1 page in a comic or may take a whole issue.

I'm going to pick on Victor Hugo. Victor Hugo spent a whole-ass book in Notre-Dame de Paris talking about a bird's eye view of Paris and other medieval architecture boring stuff, with I guess some foreshadowing with Montfaucon. Who cares. Not me. I like story. Anyway. When we translate that book to a movie any of the billion times someone's done that, we don't spend a billion years talking at length about medieval Paris. There's no great monologuing about the gibbet or whatever: you get to have some establishing shots, maybe a musical number, and then you move tf on. Because it's a movie, right? Your visuals are right there. We can see medieval Paris. We can see the cathedral. We can see the gibbet. We don't need a whole book: it's visually right there. Same with a comic: you may need many paragraphs to describe, say, a space station off of Sirius and one panel to show it.

On the flip side, you may take one line, maybe two, to say a character keyed in the special code to activate the holodeck; depending on the visual pacing, that could be a whole page of panels (are we trying to stretch time? slow it down? what are we emphasizing?) A character gives a sigh of relief — one line of text, yeah? That could be a frozen panel while a conversation continues on or that could be two (or more!) panels, similar to the direction [a beat] in screenwriting.

Sorry there's not a super easy answer there to the question of compression: it's a lot more of a tug, a push-pull, that depends on what you're conveying.

So Do I Have It In Me to Write & Draw a GN?

The only way you'll know is by doing. Scary, right? The thing is, you don't necessarily need to be an animation king or God's gift to background artists to draw a comic.

Hell, I hate backgrounds. I still remember sitting across from my friend who said "Claude you really need to draw an establishing exterior of the church at some point" and me being like "why do you hate me specifically" because drawing architecture? Again? I already drew the interior of the church altar ONCE, that should be enough, right? But I did draw an exterior of the church. Sorta. More like the top steeple. Enough to suggest what I needed to suggest to give the audience a better sense of place without me absolutely losing my gourd trying to render something out of my wheelhouse at the time.

And that's kinda the ticket, I think. Not everyone's a master draftsman. Not everyone has all the skills in every area. And regardless, from page one to page one hundred, your skills will improve. That's all part of it — and in the meantime, you should lean into your strengths and cheat where you can.

Do you need to lovingly render a background every single panel? Christ no! Does every little detail need to be drawn out? Sure if you want your hand to fall off. Cheat! Use Sketchup to build models! Use Blender to sculpt forms to paint over! Use CSP Assets for prebuilt models and brushes if you use CSP! Take photographs and manip them! Cheat! Do what you need to do to convey what you need to convey!

For instance, a tip/axiom/"rule" I've seen is one establishing shot per scene minimum and a corollary to that has been include a background once per page minimum as grounding (no we cannot all have eternal floating heads and characters in the void. Unless your comic is set in the void. In which case, you do you.) People ain't out here drawing hyper detailed backgrounds per each tiny panel. The people who DO do that are insane. Or stupid. Or both. Or have no deadline? Either way, someone's gonna have a repetitive stress injury... Save yourself the pain and the headache. Take shortcuts. Save your punches for the big K.O. moments.

Start small. Make an 8-page zine. Tell a beginning, a middle, an end in comic form. Bring a scene to life in a few pages. See what you're comfortable drawing and where you struggle. See where you can lean heavily into your comfort zones. Learn how to lean out of your comfort zone. Learn when it's worth it to do the latter.

Or start large. Technically my first finished comic (that wasn't "a dumb pencil thing I drew in elementary school" or "that 13 volume manga I outlined and only penciled, what, 7 pages of in sixth grade" or "random one page things I draw about my characters on throw up on the interwebz") was 99RM so what do I know. I'm just some guy on the internet.

(That's not self-deprecating, I literally am some guy on the internet talking about my path. A lot of this is gonna come down to you and what vibes with you.)

Resources on writing

Some of these are things that help me and some are things that I crowd-sourced from others. Some of these are going to be screenwriting based, some will be comic based.

Making Comics by Scott McCloud: I think everyone recommends this but I think it is a useful book if you're like "ahh!!! christ!! where do I start!!!???" It very much breaks down the elements of comics and the world they exist in and the principles involved, with the caveat that there are no rules! In fact, I need to re-read it.

Comic Book Design: I picked this up at B&N on a whim and in terms of just getting a bird's eye view of varied ways to tackle layout and paneling? It's such a great resource and reference! I personally recommend it as a way to really get a feel for what can be done.

the screenwriter's bible: this is a book that was used in my class. we also used another book that's escaping me but to be honest, I never read anything in school and that's why I'm so stupid. anyway, I'd say check it out if you want, especially if you start googling screenwriting stuff and it's like 20 billion pieces of advice that make 0 sense -- get the core advice from one place and then go from there.

Drawing Words & Writing Pictures: many people I know recommended this. I think I have it? It may be in storage. So frankly, I'd already read a bunch of books on comics before grabbing this that it kind of felt like a rehash. Which isn't shade on the authors — I personally was just a sort of "girl, I don't need comics 101!!!"

Invisible Ink: A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate: this has been recommended so many times to me. I cannot personally speak on it but I can say I do trust those who rec'd it to me so I am passing it along

the story circle: this is pretty much the hero's journey. a useful way to think of journeys! a homie pretty much swears by it

a primer on beats: quick google search got me this that outlines storybeats

save the cat!: what the above refers to, this gives a more genre-specific breakdown. also wants to sell you on the software but you don't need that.

I hope this helps and please feel free to touch base with more info about your specific situation and hopefully I'll have more applicable answers.

[1d-discourseoftheday]

Thurs 7 Jan ‘21

Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3!!! Firstly Zayn posted a teaser of a red curtain, labeled 'tomorrow', beginning to rise with a snippet of a song-- it's Vibez! Vibez is HERE! NEW ZAYN MUSIC! And hell yeah that's super exciting (and the curtain is reminiscent of the filming at the theater last month I'm hopeful we're about to get that video) but THAT'S not the half of it-- Z3 listings are UP! 'Nobody is Listening' (friend we are ABOUT TO BE and I CANNOT WAIT) is out Jan 15 and has 11 songs (titles unrevealed with the exception of Better, already released, and Vibez). The cover art is a painting of a bright colorful sea of staring faces; everybody looking, nobody listening? Spotify also has Vibez cover art- a cool blocky noir looking painting- and a new photo of Zayn smouldering in a tank top. Happy almost Zayn's birthday to US, and thank you very much!

Liam did a long live today with an also long BEARD (oh shush on his FACE you guys) to talk about Saturday's show, but then he ends up talking to Ben Winston for most of it which is, as you can imagine, a mixed blessing. I mean all that 1D reminiscing is great for dredging up unknown tidbits for us but otoh Ben: the part where Liam puts manager Steve on to say hi to Ben and it's just the two of them is the worst content I've seen in a minute and I mean... Holivia is current..? ANYWAY, before Ben, Liam has his cousin Ross on and tells us Ross will also have cousin Luke playing drums for him at the show Sat, and snippets of all the openers' music are played. They discuss accents, and Liam, as usual, says that he was just on the phone to Louis (relatable I too immediately think of Louis when discussing strong British accents). And then the Ben chat: they talk about the We Are 1D Family fan project at San Siro and how the band didn't know it was going to happen, Liam talks about not wanting to do the Leroy piece for the BSE video (“haha remember I had a meltdown but you made me do it!”:/), and they talk about the two Midnight Memories videos-- we learn that Ben didn't have anything to do with the scrapped first one so he can't release it sorry, and “you guys didn't like it so we had to make a new one in like a week”. Liam: “no I preferred the first one!”, lol. Ben talks shit about not liking You and I (no wonder he did her so dirty), Liam: “WHAT??” and “didn’t Zayn’s high note turn you on a little bit? It had to!” sksksjfa okay calm down there, and then he turns me into the 'had me in the first half' meme when he says his least favorite 1D song is I Would! CAN YOU BELIEVE. He quickly realizes though that no! He means I WANT! Yeah okay that makes more sense but jeez Liam, don't mess with me like that! He also says (not about I Would or I Want), “when I was younger I didn't really understand the songs as much as I understand them now, they mean so much more to me later on in life than they ever have done before, the feeling, the emotions that come through, the lyric as well for some of them.” Oh and Ben mentions the Grammy awards being pushed to March 14 which btw I forgot to say yesterday so there ya go. New date. And last but not least, new LP Act 4 merch! RAINBOW HOODIE! Omg it's so good! The rest is great too but that rainbow hoodie (uh 'hoody' that is hmm why) is soooo nice.

9 am PST came and went without a single Holivia pap pic, but don't worry (darlings) they were just a little late today, though you'll be excused if you didn't realize there were new ones, as they are simply more of the same batch as yesterday's- it was a very exciting parking lot after all, they needed a lot of documentation! Harry grabbing Olivia's arm SO AWKWARDLY is a gem though, I'm starting to have doubts that they're even really friends now that I'm seeing them interact so much tbh. I think the press time excitement was supposed to be the 'candid' pics of them drinking coffee together with Harry in the spa robe (taken... maybe you can guess... YES! it was over the weekend!) but aside from being memed they didn't seem to get much traction. Even so, the press is still all over Holivia ofc and if you only read one article about it PLEASE make it the Harper's Bazaar one that marveled at today's pics “Wilde happened to be wearing the same outfit from last weekend” oh SO CLOSE YOU GUYS, defensively states that Harry was wearing a mask (in response to the many articles out there about people being mad at him for not wearing a mask which yes are very much still up and not being suppressed by HSHQ, btw) but some enterprising layout person placed a picture of him without a mask right under that line, and tells us twice in a row that their relationship is 'very organic'-- definitely 100% truly oBvIOusLy ORGANIC, 'a source' says so. So you can see that clearly it's all very organic. In case you were wondering! STRONG honorable press mention for Vogue though, who declared that Holivia were “already 2021's most stylish pair” with a picture of Harry in his paint splattered merch hoodie and pushed up sweats; but then they also said the other day that larries were people “who ship Harry with Liam Payne”...hey Vogue I really recommend getting an intern if you're struggling, so helpful!

[detectivesvu]

Permission to Rest

__

Rafael Barba x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language, Sexual reference.

Word Count: 1,348

“What’s in the news today?”

__

“Hey, Raf?” You called for the second time from where you sat in the living room.

You were curled up on the sofa as you held a copy of the morning newspaper. He often teased you about how you were one of the only people who still read a handheld copy of The New York Times. You just preferred it that way. You were off from work for the weekend and Rafael had been required to take some time off after a long, hard case. It was a relaxing weekend...or at least, it was supposed to be. Rafael could never really leave work at his office, which was why he had a home office and an office office. 

Working from home could be difficult, considering you were always wanting to talk about something. He didn’t mind, he liked talking to you. 

“Yes, mi amor?” He called back from the next room.

You tapped the pencil in your hand on your temple as you continued to brainstorm the final answer to this crossword puzzle you were working on;

“What’s a ten letter word that starts with ‘S’ and ends with ‘D’?” You asked, beginning to feel stumped.

You heard his chair squeak, a sign that he had leaned back in his chair to think. He was silent for a moment before responding;

“Category?” He asked.

“Mode of transportation.”

He was silent again for a bit before replying;

“Skateboard.”

Your face brightened with delight at the solved puzzle that you had spent an hour or so working on;

“Oh! Thanks!” You responded gratefully.

He smiled and shook his head, returning his attention to his work in front of him. You set your pencil aside and thumbed to the next page. The title of the article caught your eye;

East Side Rapist Walks Free After Jury Finds Him Not Guilty: What We Know.

You grimaced at the remembrance of the hard loss that Rafael had taken just two days earlier. He had really taken it hard, considering he had spent so much of his precious energy on it. You scanned the article, recalling some of the details that Rafael had told you about. It was gruesome, violent, and horrifying with what had happened to those poor women. You couldn’t even imagine.

He suddenly entered the room, so you quickly folded the paper and tossed it on the coffee table in front of you. He was clad in sweatpants and a flannel that he didn’t even bother to button up. 

“God almighty, I swear if I never had to go into the office again, I’d be a happy man.” He proclaimed, rubbing his face stressfully.

“You know, you don’t have to work from home. That’s why it’s called a day off,” You corrected; “Most of your stress is self-inflicted.”

He snorted at that. He was a hard worker (a little too hard in your opinion) and he rarely let a day go by where he didn’t work in some form or another.

“Things don’t get done when I’m not busy.” He replied.

“Your gray hairs grow faster when you are.” You fired back, matching his tone.

His jaw dropped slightly, he was amused but a little offended;

“Hey, I don’t have that much gray hair.” He retorted.

You pursed your lips into a smirk. He was usually clean shaven and didn’t let his facial hair grow out more than a little bit of stubble. Whether that was because he didn’t want more gray hair to show or because he just preferred it clean shaven, you weren’t sure. 

You’d been with him for ten years, married for the last seven. But only in the last three or four had you noticed his appearance change. It seemed that the older he got, the harder he worked. Not the other way around. Not that you minded these changes. He was still just as handsome as when you first met him.

“Nothing wrong with a little silver in your hair. I find it rather attractive myself.” You purred.

He was more flattened and sunken into the couch, he looked over at you fully now;

“Is that so? Well, then maybe I should start working overtime to speed up the process.” He smirked.

You laughed lightly, leaning down to kiss him. He kissed back with a happy hum. Maybe he didn’t always love his job, but it afforded him most weekends off, which he was so grateful to have that time with you. He caught a glimpse of the paper on the table, picking it up.

“What’s in the news today?” He asked, opening it up.

“Uh, Rafael. I wouldn’t-”

Before you could finish your thought, his face drained of all color at the headline. He skimmed over the column before you plucked it from his hands. He looked to you with defeat in his eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked, setting the paper off to the side.

He sighed heavily, his shoulders drooping.

“I just thought we had it. I spent so much time on it. It was clear cut...” He said softly.

“You did the best you could. You all did.” You said truthfully.

“I know, I know,” He said, dropping the conversation; “So, what’s on the agenda for the day?” He asked once you pulled away.

A blankness came into your head. You hadn’t really gotten that far;

“Uhh..” You trailed off.

He laughed;

“I like the sound of that. We haven’t had a lowkey weekend in ages.” He praised.

“What happened to your whole ‘things don’t get done when you’re not busy’ motto?” You recalled.

He shrugged;

“Believe it or not, there are exceptions. Baseball games and my lawfully hot wife.” He grinned proudly.

“Oh, well I am honored to be up there with the best of the MLB.” You joked back. 

He blushed at his poorly worded statement, rubbing your leg with care;

“You know what I mean. I’m just glad to have some time off with you.” He claimed.

“Me too. Maybe we’ll finally get around to watching that movie that your mom keeps telling me about.” You suggested.

“Oh my God. Cariño, for the sake of us both, don’t watch anything Mami recommends. I grew up with her and I can confirm that I have watched more terrible films than good ones.” He criticized.

It was true. Rafael’s mother had horrible taste in films. 

“I admire her for trying to advise something notable. We should have her over for dinner tonight.” You suggested differently.

He had moved now to where his head was in your lap, his eyes closed as you ran your fingers through his previously discussed hair;

“Hell no. I just saw her two days ago. Even a momma’s boy needs a break,” He ranted; “You know that all she talked about the entire time was grandkids? That woman has grandchild fever.”

You laughed sweetly;

“Did you tell her that we’ve only been trying for a few weeks?” You questioned.

He scoffed;

“Of course I did. You were right. We should’ve waited until after you got pregnant to tell her, not before,” He confessed; “Because now it’s all she talks about.”

“Awh. Let her be excited, Rafael. She just loves you a lot.” You bantered.

He opened his eyes, looking at the ceiling;

“I know. She’s just a passionate lady I guess,” He ended that conversation, beginning a new one; “Speaking of trying…”

You shook your head;

“No, no, no. It literally hasn’t even been an hour since the last time.” You laughed as he sat up and pushed you into the sofa cushions.

“Alright, so this classifies as a round 2.” He cheekily said.

You laughed as he kissed you, your hands going to the waistband of his sweatpants. He stopped for moment to look at you before continuing;

“I love you.” He purred.

“I love you too, Rafi.”

The kisses continued and the rest of the weekend went by without a hitch. It was a perfectly warm and well deserved break.

A weekend that could warm even the coldest of hearts.

[skekheck]

Dark Crystal Question: Rank the best ways to consume the lore of the world. I've seen the original movie and the Netflix adaptation and I love them both and I want to participate in more of the Fandom but it feels like I only have a third of the pie. Rank the best-to-worst canon materials and lore!

So here's the tricky thing about the Dark Crystal's lore: it's contradictory. Even in stories centered around AOR, because the Jim Henson company is pretty loose with how their work and characters are portrayed, things get muddied up.

The best way I believe to think of the inconsistencies is seeing it all as different timelines (which could be backed canonically if Aughra's line of "I see many endings laid before us" has anything to go by). So what I am going to do is categorize lore-based materials into different groups, but still rank them from consistent to inconsistent.

Also, FYI, these are subjective so you can take it with a grain of salt if you don't agree.

Uncategorized:

Creation Myths: This is probably one of, if not the most, important lore-based material for this franchise. It dives into what happened during the very beginning of Thra's life, the arrival of the urSkeks, what led up to the Division, and what followed shortly after. There is some very minor contradictions between info told here and AOR, but it's not so distracting that it's noticeable. In my opinion, this should be the first thing to read as it sets groundwork for a lot of the other stories.

The Dark Crystal Bestiary: This is basically a compendium of all the creatures of Thra, including Gelfling, Skeksis, and Mystics. It doesn't include every animal within the franchise and it leaves some of the Urru and Skeksis out but overall pretty informative with nice illustrations to boot. There are some info mentioned in here that people didn't agree with but in my opinion it adds more to a lot of other characters.

Age of Resistance Focused Material:

Songs of the Seven Gelfling Clans: This is basically an in-depth look into all Seven Clans written by J.M. Lee who also was a creative consultant for AOR so because of this I think this should be ranked highest in this category. It's a nice info dump of the seven Gelfling clans so if you wanted to learn more about a specific clan this is your go-to book.

Heroes of the Resistance: It's a small book with a lot of the information taken from the Dark Crystal website word-for-word, but it also has nice additional information not seen anywhere else about some of the other characters.

The Ballad of Hup & Barfinnious: Of all three prequel comics, this one hardly, or doesn't even, contradict lore established by AOR. It's the story of how Hup got the idea of becoming a paladin being mentored by an ex-paladin named Barfinnious who get into sorts of trouble. We get little lore drops about paladins and the Spriton clan. While a fun read, it's the least memorable out of the three.

The Quest for the Dual Glaive: My personal favorite of the prequel comics. It's the story of how Ordon retrieved the dual glaive. It gives needed exploration of Ordon, as well as Fara's, characters with a look at how the First Battle of Stone-in-the-Wood went. There is some minor contradictions between how the story went and Maudra Argot's accounts of it in AOR but it's not enough to ruin the comic.

The Journey into the Mondo Leviadin: This one is a double-edged sword when it comes to consistency. The comic adds a lot of interesting things to the world including an in-depth look into the All-Maudra lineage, additional lore about the Sifan clan, and crustecean sub-species of Podlings and Arathim (called the Bobblings and Zoas in that order). However, it also makes some odd writing decisions, some of the major ones being the characterization of skekSa the Mariner and the ending which, to not give off too much spoilers, sort of flips the whole idea of the Vapra disapproving Gelfling of two different clans from getting together on its head. It also painfully contradicts some of the lore stated in Songs of the Seven Gelfling Clans that came out a month or so after this comic.

Quadrilogy Book Series:

Also known as the J.M. Lee book series. This should be seen as a self-contained story because while it eventually follows key plot points we see in AOR, it definitely takes place in a different timeline with a focus on Naia, Kylan, and co. I do recommend reading these books anyway as it gives focus to side characters who had little screen time or who haven't shown up at all (including villains such as skekLi the Satirist and skekSa). Also some other characters (like skekLach and skekMal) are different from their on screen counterparts.

Movie Focused Material:

Dark Crystal Novelization: Jim Henson said this book was like the child to the movie, as it was written along with it under his supervision. I feel like this is an important piece to read as it adds context to the film that was sorely needed. The biggest of these was giving Jen more depth as a character which honestly should have been in the film. Aside from that, the book contains ideas that are outdated, both within the franchise and surrounding certain subject matter (as this was written in the late 70s/early 80s).

The World of the Dark Crystal: This is another companion book written for the film. It's written from Aughra's point of view and does contain lore specified within the movie. Much like the novelization, it also contains outdated information.

Legend of the Dark Crystal (Vols. 1 & 2): This is the only story within the franchise so far that focuses on the Garthim Wars. I remember reading these books followed more closely with the original notes from the movie and it's one of the first lore-based material released for the Dark Crystal. Of course, this takes place in a different timeline for various reasons. The most entertaining of which is skekLach, completely different from his on-screen counterpart, being a main villain for both volumes.

Power of the Dark Crystal: This is a sequel comic to the film and was based on the script for the sequel movie that was canceled after a decade of development hell. And boy does it show. While it does introduce cool ideas, mainly the introduction to Firelings, the plot is a poorly rehashed version of the film's with many plot holes and lore contradictories. Some people might enjoy this, but if you're lore focused it's okay to skip this unless you're really curious.

Beneath the Dark Crystal: The least interesting material, not just for this category but out of all the reading material in the franchise. It doesn't do anything to clear up the plot holes and follows the inconsistencies from the previous prequel comic while being a boring read. It does add more lore about the Firelings, but a lot of ideas introduced around that is uninteresting or missed potential. I don't recommend reading this unless you really enjoyed Power but don't expect the same writing quality.

[theficplug]

l Sunflower Vol. 6 l Harry Styles l

Harry Styles x Black Reader

Warnings: none , pure fluff

[harry and reader feels like it’s just time to let the world know.]

As Harry was coming to an end of an era with the Fine Line album. Sunflower Vol. 6 was the last of the bunch to receive a visual to the groovy almost psychedelic track. 

You remember when the idea of the song came up. You had explained where your nickname Sunflower came from. 

-flashback-

He was sitting on the couch in your shared home with his guitar resting gently across his chest playing the same melody and humming sunflower to himself while watching the rain fall down heavily through the cracked window.

The slight breeze coming through blew his disheveled hair around. Harry had been up all night saying that he didn’t wanna forget the cords and the rhythm of the song that was still coming to him.

You quietly walked down the stairs to find him still up humming and tapping along to the beat as he tried to get into the groove. 

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” he asks quietly as he sits the guitar aside and opens his arms for you.

“No, but the cold giant you shaped empty spot in the bed did. Tea?” you ask chuckling softly before handing him the mug in your other hand and kissing the top of his head. 

You had also brought blankets with you and draped it over the both of you while settling onto his lap and resting your head on his shoulder. You watched as he instantly relaxed and settled back against it at the sound of your voice. Placing a gentle kiss to your forehead he accepts the pink mug.

“Thank you love.” he says quietly to you before trailing his hands up and down your leg gently as he takes small sips of the earl grey. 

“I love nights like this. It reminds me of growing up back home. My mama would yell at my dad and me for dancing around in the rain.”Don’t come in here asking me for vapor rub and soup when y’all are coughing up a storm”. She would say with her face all scrunched up. But we knew it was from a place of love because every time she’d end up running out to joining even if only for a few minutes and she had an umbrella. But the deal was that I couldn’t complain about being woken up at 5am to get the hot comb before school. She knew she couldn’t resist dancing to My Girl with us. To our neighbours who were always in our business we probably looked like a bunch of maniacs just laughing and being happy to love and be loved. ” you explained to him and he would chuckle softly and tell you about how he wished he knew you when you were kids.

 He swears that he would’ve known then that you were it for him.

“I was 6 years old when I got the name Sunflower. As usual it was my mother, father , and I sitting on the porch. I was just sitting eating sunflower seeds and staring out at the rain. Waiting for my father to set up the radio and put our favourite songs on. We ran out onto the grass and as he twirled me around. My father said to me “you’re my sunflower because you always grow towards the sun and bring such a light to our lives. Becoming your parents was the best day of our lives. Getting to see you grow is the small moments of magic in this life. That’s how I knew you were the one for me. Because he didn’t think anyone was good enough for me, but when he met you and you actually got him to laugh with you and say yes to proposing to me. I knew this was it.” you explain and laugh at his expression. 

“Bae, are you tearing up?” you ask as he leaned over to kiss all over his face then peck his lips. 

“I’ve just got something in my eye. That’s all. I just can’t wait to share how much I love you with the world. I want them to feel that when they listen to this album.” 

“And they will” you reassure him 

-present-

After over a year and a half of dating and being engaged you knew that it was time to share it with the world. There was only so much can take after 10 years of speculations. He was more than ready to tell everyone that there was only one woman he wanted to spend his life with. 

He’d like to have a meal with a childhood friend without him being painted as a cheater on someone he wasn’t even dating in the first place. 

A sigh of relief washed over you both when the video finally wrapped. You remember telling Harry that if you were going to be a part of this video you wanted the entire crew to be black or at least of colour. 

“Those are my rules , Harold. I wanna put my people on, and no offense baby  but can’t nobody white touch this fro. I haven’t let anyone besides my mother do my hair since I was a little girl. You got me? ” you expressed to him and he nodded because he had already had the idea in mind knowing he wanted to put his money where his mouth is with supporting black creatives.

He began searching social media for black hair stylists, videographers, directors , and everyone else that would be needed to get the project done. 

Now it’s less than 24 hours before the world would know about what has been sweetly yours for a little over a year. 

From what you could tell a lot of people assumed that his album was about exes or previous relationships but on the contrary he had actually written one song for closure about a past situation. The rest of the entire album was essentially about you,and how he fell in love with your kindness and how much he adored you. Some of the fans who listened closely picked up on the line in Adore You. ‘Your wonder under summer skies. Brown skin and lemon over ice’ . It was about the vacation you two took a few months before the pandemic right after he wrapped on his newest film. He swore that your mahogany skin glowed under the warm July sun and against the cerulean coverup. That man looked at you like someone told him that you were made out of pure gold. Thus sparking his first track on the album, Golden. You two were even papped together while on the beach with your families but of course most just assumed that you were a family friend. It seemed to be a trend when he’s photographed with a woman of colour before but he reassured you that he was single when he asked you on a date the day he met you at the farmers market. 

-flashback-

He tumbled over his words while trying to ask you about what kind of jam you would recommend for him to bring home to his mother.

“I’m gonna be at her home for the weekend and just thought that I’d bring a few things for breakfast while I’m there. Yours caught my eye. Are these little sunflowers all over the jars?” he asks as he bends down to inspect them. 

“Yeah , you like it? It’s kind of my brand. It’s been a bit of a slow day. I think it’s because it’s gonna rain. Never one to be scared of a little rain. I can tell that this is gonna taste far better than bringing home a jar of Nutella.” you say to him with a small smile on your face. 

After grabbing a plastic spoon for him to try out peach, strawberry, and cherry. He ended up purchasing several jars of all 3, but the cherry jam was his favourite and blushed the entire time you scooped the spoon in his mouth. 

“What’s it like to be so lonely like this? I feel like it would be difficult to not be able to be out with others because you don’t want them to have to go through all of this.I feel like even though someone’s “famous” you’ve got to at least treat people with kindness and some level of respect. ” you say to him as the people pushed their way over to your boutique once they realized who was standing there.

You didn’t even really know who he was because you hadn’t been into One Direction in their prime. So, you knew he was a big deal from the whispers and people walking up to him and asking him for pictures and practically offering him their entire supply. But you just knew him as the dorky slightly awkward and weird cutie standing in front of you in the giant sunhat and pearls that stuttered while trying to tell you about his time working in a bakery before they came over. 

“It’s alright. You kind of just learn to adapt to all of it after 10 years. . I worked there for like a year but we never had anything that tasted this good!” he admitted and you would giggle softly at the complement and give him your number on the receipt. You could see him doing a little shimmy while waving the number in the air. 

-present-

You think back to the conversation fondly before Harry’s low and soothing voice snapped you out of your thoughts as he peeks his head into the room to ask if you want to see the finished video.

You followed him to his little makeshift studio in your home and take a seat on his lap so that you both could see it.

Harry had come up with the concept of you being a sunflower and him being like a bee because he swore he was drawn to you from the first conversation you two had ever said.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your side. He was already trying to hide his smile as the video started with you in a canary yellow dress that flowed over your body making you look like a sun goddess as you twirled with the sunflowers in your afro.

You soaked in the sun and swayed to the music before Harry came into focus. 

You remember that day his mother and your parents were on set because they were going to make a cameo at the end and both of your mothers had been behind the camera giving you both thumbs up and standing with their hands over their hearts the entire time. 

Harry dances across the screen dressed in bumblebee-esque colours with the black and yellow as he danced around you and you looked over at him wide eyed before moving away from him. You followed the script and continued to dance around to the music doing your own thing as he danced around you to get your attention. 

“You look so beautiful babe. Look at you! God damn I am a lucky bastard, aren’t I?” he says giddily laughing and smiling like a boy on the schoolyard with a crush. 

“Oh stop, but keep going.” you say jokingly as you pat his thigh softly. 

“I mean it. You could’ve gone on set just like this with no makeup and wearing this old shirt and looked like perfection itself.” he complements and it was your turn to break into a smile cause this man really was the sweetest little thing.

“Right back at you, sweet thing. I love how they cut your hair for the video. That was probably the best line up you’ve ever had. It was a game changer wasn’t it? You didn’t know black barbers are magicians.” you say giggling as you watch him prance around in the video in the yellow and black suit. 

It comes to the part of the video where your parents and his mother both walk into the shot and your father takes your hand and dance with you as the mothers dance together. 

Harry glides over to you and asks for your hand and your father puts yours in his. 

He twirls you around as the parents look on and you both show your engagement rings to the camera and smile up at each other. 

By the end of the video you and Harry blow a kiss at the camera before sharing a moment of pressing your forehead against his and the video ends.

You sniffle and dab at your eyes with a napkin from his desk and he turns to you before leaning into press kisses to your cheeks and lips.

“I love you and you know that there isn’t anyone else I would wanna tell the world about. It’s going to be just fine because I plan on making you happy for the rest of your life.” he reassures you and you nod before kissing his nose.

“What else can I say Harold? You went from being the awkward sweetheart that wrote me love letters and sung me to sleep when we couldn’t be together to someone I could not imagine life without. If people can’t see that there’s nothing but love and happiness here that’s their business. But this is ours.” you say to him knowing that it’s out of your element to feel so sappy but with him you just can’t help it.

The next day the video dropped along with the caption ‘it’s also our anniversary. So be kind or leave. All the love, H.’ 

The outpour of love and support from his fans and other celebrities was ridiculously overwhelming but well received as you made sure to make a small short follow up video thanking them for all of the love, well wishes, and compliments.

[ a little different for me but i hope you still enjoyed it to the lovely person who requested it !]

[space-blue]

i don't know if it will be of any value to you but still: usually when i go fic hunting i only shoot for smut, because it interests me the most, for many reasons. since getting into arcane i've done that sort of fic hunting a lot, and read a few non-smuts in the process, but none had much of an effect on me, let alone enough to check out what other works the author has written. you though, are the first writer who doesn't write smut (apart from like, one or two mild vanco scenes?) but i straight up subscribed to on ao3 anyway (and i can count my subscribed authors on one hand). your writing is simply amazing. the pacing, the emotions, how you build on top of canon in a very specific way and get it to work in your favor. it pulled me in instantly and made me stay. and i regret nothing. i think i've read all of your arcane fics so far and am genuinely considering putting aside my prejudice against star wars and watching it just to read what you've done in the star wars fandom as well. just wanted you to know that. quite a few of your fics i think back to on a daily basis, and nothing feels quite as joyous as waking up from a nap to a notification about a new work of yours. just wanted to say it. i wish you all the best 💗

Hey Anon, sorry I took a couple days to reply. You think this sort of nuclear grade compliment can be of "no value" to me? Or any writer? Gosh, do I have a bridge to sell you. Seriously, I nearly swallowed my tongue reading this and then needed to sleep on it two nights in a row before the emotions subsided enough to tackle the answer.

Rare is the writer who doesn't thrive on compliments of their work, and rarer still are the compliments higher than "I'll get in a shitty fandom to follow you" or "I love all your work despite your suspicious levels of aroace flavoured genfics" or "you're like my 3rd sub"

You can't imagine me red enough in the face, right now, as I answer this ask. What am I supposed to say? Thank you? A Keysmawjenfkjwenfkfn? A GIF??

I'm deeply honoured and flattered both, and I'll strive extra hard to go on, and *at the very least* wrap up all my Arcane WIPs (SW fans who follow me and read this are invited to shut up and not comment on that, I'm not taking sass or feedback at the moment)

Alright, this being said... I'd encourage you to try out my Original short stories before you go down the route of Star Wars, even if some of those are really old. I add to the series slowly. The ones I'm most proud of are All Father (historical fantasy in ancient Gaul), The Teacher (introspective sci-fi with body horror elements), and Blink (Urban fantasy FBI case). Bear in mind all my works were hit by the fucking kudos bot fairy so they all have around 38 to 42 extra guest kudos that mean nothing.

Then I'd even recommend this Little Red Riding Hood one shot (mind the tags) over Star Wars.

Why, do you ask? Well, even if some of my best works are Star Wars, and some of the best fics I've read are also Star Wars... Well...

It's extremely dicey to recommend Star Wars as a fandom. I fell in the cauldron as a child, you see. Wore my French dubbed tapes down to nothing, rewatching the entire trilogy every day sometimes, in the summer holidays. I was *obsessed*. I had an articulated Jabba the Hutt toy ffs. Then I moved on, I suppose, even if I watched every film... I didn't read the comics, or the books. I played a couple prequels Play Station games but not the rest (games were forbidden on the side of the fam that raised me).

Then at the ripe age of like 29, I picked up the Thrawn novels out of curiosity, wanting more SW content that wasn't the hot trash sequels. It was like falling down a rabbit hole.

Now I've watched everything but rebels, played more games, read more comics, fell head first into the fanfic side of fandom, even picked up digital painting just to do fanart for it... But it's STILL A FUCKING CURSED FANDOM.

I can't, in good conscience, recommend it. I COULD give you exact pointers to watch stuff which I believe is super well done. I still feel like the Original Trilogy (OT) is an undying classic that you should watch because they're good and fun cinema. [Although I warmly recommend you pirate the original, non-CGI augmented version of the film, even if you have D*sney+. The CGI-redone version sucks ass]

But almost *everything else* that came out of SW is fucked one way or another. Shitty CGI or acting, childish dynamics, plot hole galore, problematic and insensitive attitudes on the creators' part, and most infuriatingly: derivative, cash grabbing, cameo ridden drivel packed in unoriginal storylines and foreeeverrrr more problematic shit. It's... Not *good* to be a SW fan. It's a fantastic universe, and the sand box offers so so soooo much.

But I don't write fics because the universe is so cool, like in Arcane. I write Star Wars fics because the canon, outside of the OT, has a tendency of being infuriating and broken. I write to fix. I read to fix. To expend on all the stuff they never bothered to cover.

We're always angry in the SW fandom, and D*sney is milking us in the most disrespectful way possible. I'm HATING the BoBF show, and I STILL have to watch it, and feel my fan soul crumple as they drag out my favourite characters in live action and make them look shit and do nonsense stuff. It's like a curse. Like I can't not watch, even though I wish I could.

*Sigh*

This being said... Some of my fics are easy to get into fandom blind... Watching the OT gives a good grasp of the universe. If you are the type who enjoys drinking while watching B movies, and/or have friends who are into SW... You could probably get yourself through the Prequel Trilogy. They're corny, look garbage (omg don't even try SW fans, I wear the shield of 60+ TCW era fics to my name) and the only two actors actually pulling their weight and having fun are Ian McDiarmid and Christopher Lee. BUT, the Story under the dumpster fire is excellent. The meme potential is very well known. My prequels meme folder is a place of endless tears of joy and I can always use it as a pick-me-up lol

There's potential. It's not a good trilogy, but it's a peak quality sandbox!

Next up, the Clone Wars TV series fills up so many blanks in that era and story... It entirely fixes the character of Anakin Skywalker, introduces undying loves like Ahsoka Tano and Cad Bane... But—again, always, forever with the BUT—the first 3 seasons are a slog, every episode featuring Padme or the droids is like sand paper to the brain. From season 4 onward it becomes a tolerable kid's show, and then all of a sudden you're hooked... And out of nowhere the final season is like "Hi, let me punch you in the fucking GUTS"

I have stoic guy friends who fucking cried in that finale. It also ends up looking gorgeous. So of course it lulls you in that false sense of security... Like you can finally enjoy some SW content without qualms... And then literally the next show you pick up slaps you in your damn fool face, and it feels sticky, so you rub your cheek and your fingers come off white and you go "Aaah yes, I was wearing my clown makeup"

So anyway... I'd LOVE to see you come fall down and suffer with us. There IS joy to be had in this fandom, and it's possible you'll find more for yourself than most, by virtue of not being one of the fans who were reared by a set of video tapes. Seeing Luke's character being put in a blender might not make you want to retch your soul out.

But I don't want to be the one who brings you down. I'd have less qualms luring you into the Hannibal fandom than SW. Or honestly I could point you towards single episodes, recaps, AMVs, or even just gif sets, that are all you really need to enjoy some of my works.

No matter what, I'm deeply, profoundly flattered by the emotion, anon, and I kiss you on the mouth and spin you around and show you all my blooming crops you've so thoroughly watered.