#that + my face shape is like... the biggest reason i feel like even if i were to dress completely differently

[dreamsy990]

GOD DESIGNS TAKE 2 im much happier with these ones. also calypso and circe here now. once again gonna discuss all my ideas behind the designs and the changes i made to the old ones THIS TIME WITH PROPER GRAMMAR. you guys should consider yourself lucky. so yeah closeups and explanations under the cut

(lineup for scale btw)

So some general notes before I get into the specific designs. These guys are mostly an excuse to make designs that can be just about anything! I operate off the idea that gods can choose how they appear (within some limitations), and so they can just look however they like. The big in-universe limitation with them is that any scars or injuries they may have can't be hidden in any way. For recognizability reasons, I try to always include their main symbols or some allusion to their domain in their designs, and for personal preference, I like to give all the gods weird looking eyes.

Aeolus

My Aeolus design hasn't changed very much at all since my first sketch of them. I like the idea of Aeolus as sort of fluid in shape, mostly just looking like a bunch of clouds that reshapes itself however they like. This sort of abstract and a little cartoony aspect of them led to me giving them a silhouette like an old cartoon character! Their design honestly isn't meant for coloring in this style, but whenever I do color them, I like to make it mostly light pink and blue. Subtly trans-colored Aeolus my beloved.

Hermes

Hermes mostly just changed with coloring. I have an obsession with very limited palettes, and I feel a little bad giving one to Hermes of all characters, but honestly I'm the most proud of his design. I gave him a messenger bag in some of my earliest sketches of him and I've loved that element ever since. The biggest change here is the jacket! Not period typical at all but it's so iconic to Troy and COME ON HE NEEDED IT. I think it makes his silhouette a lot more interesting, even if I simplified the rest of his outfit to compensate. I might do another pass to try and add some color back to him, but for right now this design feels very fun.

Athena

My Athena design has stayed very consistent since I settled on committing to the bird aspect, so thank @irunaki for being an owlthena truther (SOMEONE PLEASE REMIND ME TO DRAW IRUNAKIS ATHENA BTW). Not that I color her much like an owl. This pass at Athena I mostly used to simplify the blue. I needed to include it on her design, but I've been struggling with how for a while, and adding it as just a subtle accent on a mostly grey and black design felt very fitting. Visually she might read more like a magpie than an owl, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make!

Anyway, Athena here is meant to read as very visually closed off, with her face partially obscured and her wings wrapped around herself like a cloak. I want her to have a lot of distance between herself and others at most times, and I think that does nicely. The shadow over her eye was an aspect I added before I found out she lost an eye, which is a funny coincidence. I also designed her to both parallel and contrast my Odysseus design. They both have cloaks that partially obscure them, they both have scars on their faces (although Athena is able to hide hers), but they have opposite color schemes (Athena being mostly blue black and silver while Odysseus is red white and gold). On a personal note, I like the idea of Athena resembling Poseidon. Not for any thematic reasons, I just think it's fun. So she has a grey-ish skintone like him (to a lesser extent, but still) and long black hair, too. I love designs that resemble other designs.

Apollo

I believe I actually originally took inspiration from Gigi's Hermes, But I think he's different enough by now that the resemblance doesn't really exist anymore. He was also the start of my idea to draw the gods with weird looking eyes, so I refuse to change his. I don't actually have all that much to say about him? My original notes for him were that he should be a WHORE and I hope that idea has stuck lmao. He's probably the oldest design here (minus Athena, but my early sketches of her are pretty unrecognizable) and yet I'm still very happy with him. My biggest struggle with design is that I DESPERATELY wanted to color his hair like GinjaNinja's oc Kynthia but I have NO CLUE where to start with coloring like that. So we must suffer. Thaaats all I have to say on Apollo. I think a couple people in the Epic discord really liked him lol.

Hephaestus

I FORGOT TO DRAW HEPHAESTUS THE FIRST TIME OH MY GOD. I'M SO SORRY HEPHAESTUS FANS I LITERALLY FORGOT HE EXISTED. His design gave me the MOST trouble in coloring, I had to completely redo it partway through. I'm still somewhat unhappy with him, but oh well. I like Hephaestus looking very much like a sort of intimidating father who's actually really sweet, and I think I got that look across. He's got a resting bitch face but he is so nice. I gave him glasses on impulse, and it sort of completes the dad look to me. He's got some burn scars under his gloves from working in the forge, for an extra detail. I made all the other gods scars gold, but I think burn scars work differently than normal scars? I need to do more research, sorry! I love Hephaestus though. I'll probably end up doing another take on him if I feel like drawing him again, but it's nice to have at the least something down.

I liked the initial idea behind my Aries design, but it felt very poorly executed before. I'm a bit unhappy with this take still, but I like it better than I did before! I decided to make all the gods scars gold, so his are recolored accordingly, and I made myself bring the red back into his design. Again, he's meant to have a resemblance to Athena while still contrasting her. So he's also very animalistic, with him being more of a dog of some kind (I DEFINITELY took the dog idea from someone else but I CAN'T remember who). He's got roughly the same outfit, but a scarf instead of a cloak, so he looks less controlled and closed off than she does. Anyway, I dislike this specific drawing of him, but I like the general idea of this Ares, so I'll figure it out eventually. Definitely the one I'm least happy with here. I like the drawing without his helmet, though, I think he's cute :>

Aphrodite

So my Aphrodite design initially wasn't very thought out. I originally just sort of threw something together and called it a day, and I wasn't happy with it, but I also wasn't sure which direction I'd like to go with her. This time, uh, I actually have the same problem. I ended up liking this take on her a lot more, though! She takes a lot of inspiration from Rose Quartz, which WAS on purpose actually. There's also once again a lot of inspiration taken from Gigi's Aphrodite design, specifically in the outfit. I feel like with Aphrodite there's a lot of temptation to just give her a dress, but I like her looking a little too casual for any given scenario. I like this one a lot.

Hera

THIS ISN'T MY PEAK DESIGN BUT BY GOD I'M JUST HAPPY I MADE THIS STUPID DRESS WORK. The original inspiration for this idea comes from this video by June and their design for their character Hokoto in a Miraculous au. That specific design for some reason is INGRAINED into my mind and every time I draw a character in some way inspired by peacocks, that's what comes to mind. I think this design is pretty distinct from that one. AUGH I don't have much to say on her just look at my favorite old lady I love her she's so pretty.

Poseidon

ABSOLUTE CRYPTID!!! SEA MONSTER ENERGY!!!!!!! I was like "lets make poseidon a little cunty and a little bit of a weird creature" AND IT WAS THE GREATEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE. Cut out the blue from his design entirely to just be grey, and I think I like that decision. I also think the Epic discord liked him because I sent my sketch of him and someone responded with "why he kinda" so I TAKE THAT AS A WIN!! Absolute bastard man I hope Odysseus stabs him more.

Zeus

HATE THIS GUY HATE THIS GUY HATE THIS GUY. Absolute freak man I hope Hera brutally murders him. Anyway, I love this design, just not this specific drawing of it lol. I wanted his hair to look like clouds originally, but wasn't sure how to do that without stepping on Aeolus' toes, until I had the sudden idea that they should be stormclouds instead! So that's pretty cool. His scarf kinda looks like lightning. Also. Bro put your tits away. That is all I have to say on Zeus.

Circe

Didn't want to copy Gigi's design here, and I think I did a pretty good job of not doing that. She had brown eyes originally, but I asked the Epic discord what they thought and they decided yellow eyes looked better on her (AND THEY WERE RIGHT). I gave her yellow roses too (not sure if they read as roses though), because 1) aromantic Circe is real and true and 2) I just liked the idea of her having the least romantic version of a flower very associated with romance as part of her design. Her ass is not into you! I hope she kills and maims! Wanted to give her a snake earring but you couldn't see her ears here so. Just assume she has one of those.

Calypso

Okay, so this Calypso design basically appeared fully formed in my sketchbook a little while ago. I've changed very little except adding red flowers. Why? NO REASON actually there is a reason. I was writing a Calypso-centric fic and I mentioned her having bright red flowers in her hair and then I just made that part of my vision of her. Gave her uh, a weird fish net thing for lack of a better word? Because it made her more interesting and gave me island vibes. Which is what Calypso should be doing! I wanted to include more red on her design so the flowers didn't feel a bit out of place, so I gave her some red on her other accessories. I THINK SHE'S CUTE AND I LIKE HER. Man these notes got less and less design-related as I went along, huh. Oh well, I'm done now. Those are my god designs +2 because I consider nymphs their own category (Is Circe a nymph? I'm pretty sure she is but I don't care enough to check)

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

i'd really have to twist myself in a lot of unnatural ways in order to be "sufficiently nonbinary" to a lot of acquaintances it seems

[readwritealldayallnight]

Learning

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader

wc: 1k words

warnings/tags: fluff

“Said it would’ve made too much of a mess. Waste o’ his money.” Simon says, slopping another spoonful of pumpkin guts into the large bowl in the middle of the kitchen table. Your usual table cloth has been switched out with an array of this weeks newspaper, the black and white print covered in the sticky remnants of your idea of fun on a Friday before Halloween.

“Not even one?” You attempt to pose the question casually, hoping to disguise the sadness in your tone, concealing the way your heart breaks at the thought of a young Simon Riley having never carved a pumpkin, his father not even allowing him to partake in that simple tradition so many others enjoy.

“S’alright, lovie.” He says, seeing right through you and recognizing the hurt you hold for him, an indication of your longing to only see love and joy in his life. If only you knew that’s everything you give him. “Did watch a mate o’ mine shoot his pellet gun at some pumpkins one year, if that makes you feel any better.”

You roll your eyes at his attempt to make you laugh, digging your spoon a little harder into the sides of your own gourd as if it were the one to have wronged you.

“Well then I’m glad I ignored you and got them anyways.” You declare, giving each pumpkin a loving little pat on its side. Simon had told you outside the grocery store, seeing your eyes land on the bright orange displays outside the shop, that they weren’t necessary.

But the both of you knew he would never deny you anything you wanted, and so he ended up carrying the two large pumpkins under each bicep and to the car himself, not letting you lift a finger.

“How’s the inside of yours looking?” You ask him, coming around to his side of the table, affectionately running a hand through the strands of hair at the base of his skull, glancing into the pumpkin he tilts in your direction for you to see. You can feel a shiver go through him at your touch, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

You’re glad he’s home with you, where he can relax, allow his biggest stresses to be his girlfriend ogling his arms as he carved open the tops of pumpkins and gutted them with efficiency.

“You’d have to tell me, love, but I think that’s as empty as it’s gettin’.” He emphasizes by tapping his spoon on the side of the sphere, listening to the dull, hollow echo it gives.

“Looks perfect. Nice work, Simon.” You tell him, planting a quick kiss to his cheek before hopping back over to your seat, leaving him looking a few shades redder than before. “Know what you’re gonna carve?”

“It’s- it’s just a face, innit?” At your question, Simon finds himself pausing. He might have had a different childhood than most, but he wasn’t daft, he knew what a jack o lantern was supposed to look like. Carved eyes, a wicked grin or large frown, sometimes even a nose in between them both.

He didn’t consider himself to be a crafty person, but he’d been a butcher for crying out loud, he could carve some shapes into a pumpkin until it resembled a face, no problem. So why are you asking him about what he’s going to carve.

“Well yeah, that’s the go to, for sure. A classic.” You reassure him, noticing the slight tension returning to his shoulders. “You can carve a face, my love. Some people just do different, they get creative with it.” Shrugging, you grab the marker you’d set aside, beginning to map out the lines for where you plan on carving your own design. You’re distracted, eyes darting between your sketching and your phone where you’ve got the inspiration photo pulled up for reference.

You don’t notice Simon’s eyes squinting ever so slightly at you before darting to the pumpkin in front of him. ‘Get creative with it’? Is that what you’re doing? Is that what you’re expecting him to do? Hoping he’ll do? He glances over at you again and notices you’ve got a bloody reference photo and everything??

He finds his cheeks beginning to burn for a different reason now, feeling stupid over not realizing you could carve more than the standard jack o lantern faces as a tradition. Obviously, you can carve anything you want into a fuckin’ pumpkin, he just didn’t know, he hasn’t done this before, and now he’s gone from feeling almost confident to worried he’s about to make a fool out of himself over something as childish as this.

“Simon.” You say, always more in tune with him than he realizes. “It’s okay, carve anything you want. I’m excited to see what you make.” You smile warmly at him across the table, a small socked foot going to nudge his ankle as well. “Believe it or not, this is supposed to be fun.”

He scoffs at your joke but doesn’t fight the smile that etches onto his face in return. He accepts your distraction when you ask if you should put on some music in the background, walking towards the record player. As he flips through the stack of vinyls, he thinks about just that, what he could possibly carve into that bloody orange sphere sat on his kitchen table, that would be fun.

Searching through any memories he considers as being ‘fun’, he finds a common factor: you. And there’s one more reoccurring element sewn into the fabric of those treasured memories as well: your laughter.

With that in mind, it’s actually quite easy for Simon to decide on what he’ll do finally. And almost an hour later, after you’ve put your blood, sweat and tears into your own pumpkin carving and deciding that the results ended up being just meh, Simon has decided that he’s undeniably the winner of the evening when he spins his creation around and has you nearly crying with laughter, insisting between wheezed breaths that he’s going to make you pee your pants, only leading to Simon’s own laughter bellowing out.

Not too bad for his first time learning.

~~~~~~~~~~

(The kind of pumpkin I’ve decided Ghost would carve 😂)

[seongclb]

— enhypen reaction to you being upset when they cheat on you in a dream !

bf!enha x gn!reader, fluff & humour, established relationship au, mentions of cheating & nightmares.

req. by anon! pls let me know if u like it :3

n. @woon2u u might be a bit delulu but i’m def delulu 4U

♫ phases by chase atlantic.

𖠗 이희승 | lee heeseung.

would probably be dead asleep when you whack him awake

“y/n, what is going on??” he slurs in his sleep

“YOU TELL ME???”

his eyes shoot wide open and he jumps to sit up, but still remaining groggy while he tries to think of what he’s done

“is this bc i ate ur cookie bc i said i would get you one tomorrow” he whines

you hit him with a pillow and he whelps

“i’ll get you two???” he says, and dodges your next hit

“you cheated on me.” you say and he looks at you with disgust

“oh shush,” he says, pulling you back to bed

he obviously wins against your attempts to push him away and traps you in his warm, snug embrace

he speaks softly with his hands tracing shapes on your arms, “why would i need to cheat when i have everything i’ve ever wanted right here with me?”

judging by the amount of kisses you place on his face, he can tell he’s done a good job at shooing away your concerns for the night.

𖠗 박종성 | park jongseong.

now, you’re the only one he’ll allow to disrupt his sleep

but.. this reason

he would just let out the biggest sigh before consoling you bc even though he’s tired as heck, you’re his love and he can’t afford for you to be bothered by something

“what’s up, love?” he’d ask while stroking your back

“i had a nightmare.”

he would immediately comfort you and question what it’s about, if you’re comfortable with saying

“you cheated on me”

oh gosh he has to fight the urge to roll his eyes

“i would never do such a thing, i love you far too much”

indeed he does since he’s willing to comfort you over his sleep and just in case the thought actually does bother you, he’ll be extra affectionate and loving to you as a reminder that he’s all yours

𖠗 심재윤 | sim jaeyun.

you’d have to literally first pry his clinging body off of yours and then shake him awake

“whattt”

he has the audacity to be grumpy, you think

“sim jaeyun.”

“uh oh” he sits up and rubs his eyes. “whatever it is, i’m sorry and i love you.”

“you think that’s enough for me to forgive you for CHEATING???”

he’s like wth and laughs

“babe, what are you even sayinggg? stop being so silly i’d never do that to you,” just kisses your forehead repeatedly

just forces you back to sleep against his chest and tomorrow if you’re still sad, he’ll make it up to you

but rn, man is too sleepy so he’ll show his reassurance in sleepy kisses and whispers of affection

𖠗 박성훈 | park sunghoon.

probably feels you jolt awake which is what wakes him up

“babe, are you okay?” while getting the glass of water for you just in case

“when were you going to tell me?” you whisper

“tell you what…” man is so confused like you just woke up from bed didn’t you???

“that you’ve been cheating on me.”

he’ll roll his eyes now

“and what evidence of this do you have, my love?” sunghoon would literally look at you with no expression

“i saw it.”

“where?”

you pause, “inmydreams”

“i didn’t quite catch that, y/n”

“in my dreams” you say.

he just sighs and pulls you in his embrace

“aigooo you’re so dramatic sometimes what will i do with you” but when he sees the pout fall even lower in your lips

he just kisses it away

“don’t let these silly dreams put things into your brain, i would never do that to you, i love you the most in the world.” he’ll make fun of you another day

𖠗 김선우 | kim sunoo.

another one who would have to be shook awake

would be so sassy straight away too

“what is so important that you had to wake me up at 2:48 am for ???”

“you cheated on me in my dream,” you pout.

now he pouts

immediately becomes more concerned

i just feel like sunoo would be more understanding that this is more than a silly dream

“awww, my love,” would first try calming you down if you’re too upset but would then just pat your head

“as if theres anyone better than you to cheat with anyway! nobody compares seriously,” he reassures

after you’re calm he probably focuses on making you laugh and comfortably going back to sleep

would hate for you to sleep with something so horrid on your mind

ur his other half why would he ever want to cheat???

𖠗 양정원 | yang jungwon.

your movements would wake him up

initial reaction is to check up on you

“y/n, are you okay?”

“jungwon would you ever cheat on me”

he’d first look at you like you have two heads

but becomes softer when he sees your eyes

“of course not!! you’re the only one i want; you’re just so perfect for me, babe”

he’d say a million things to show why he would never cheat

“the thought of being with someone else disgusts me, honestly.”

oh man and if you giggle

he’ll be like mission accomplished

that’s just his sign that you’re okay now

so all is good and you’re back off to sleep

does keep an eye on you for a few days just in case

𖠗 西村力 | nishimura riki

he’s a young, growing lad who needs his sleep

so when he wakes up to you frantically waking him up

hes a mix of grumpy and concerned

“what’s wrong?” while getting up to look at you

“i had a dream that you cheated on me.”

literally can’t take you seriously but is too tired to react

“a dream? y/n what the heck,” he says.

he’ll frown when he sees you’re serious

cups your cheeks in his hands

“you don’t have to worry about something like that, i love you and even if one day we don’t love each other anymore i would never cheat”

smiles at you with so much love

“now can we go back to sleep, i’m so tired”

he’ll treat you to ice cream tomorrow though :)

[lycandrophile]

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

[corvidae-00]

Please some jealous (kind of toxic ) joost but with a happy ending 🙏🙏🙏🙏

A/N: **fiddles fingers maliciously** this- I love this- He would so be sorta toxic and totally let his ego get ahead of him- this is gonna be fun to write! I hope you like it!!!!- GN!Reader x Joost :> CW: Toxic mannerisms, Marko is being used as the reason Joost gets worked up- (I love Marko I swear-), swearing, Angry Joost, tinny witty bitty bit of angst, Joost overthinking, smoking. (Let me know if I missed anything!! Word count: 1,747

The after party for eurovisions semi final was packed with the singers and the energy in the room was for sure through the roof. Joost your good friend and his group invited you to come with, Joost wanting to share this moment with you more than anything- the excitement and hype of everyone putting their hearts out there and competing only to come together to talk about how much happened, having you there would make it even better, if that would be even possible.

You agreed to come along, not that you had much choice, the Dutchman having begged and nagged and spammed you until you agreed. Not that you didn't want to come! But you knew you would stand out like a sore thumb, probably hang out by a corner waiting for the delicious food to be available or not so crowded. Looking over your outfit and the time you smile pleased with how you look and wonder slightly if Joost would too. You have had the biggest crush on him since a few months after you got to know him, the feelings having appeared and clung onto you with every ounce of power possible, and honestly? You were fine with that. Smoothing out your clothes you look at the time and decided if you want to make it in time you absolutely had to leave.

Grabbing your bag you left your hotel you had booked for the event and quickly drove over to the Venue like Joost told you it would be, not leaving the Malmo Arena, I guess the hosts didn't want to spend more money renting another place out for the singers, at least it was well know and easy to find. Stepping out of your car you hurry inside showing the security your invite from Joost and entering the main lobby reading your friends text to find the way glaring at the device unsure of what Joost was even trying to explain

"Are you looking for someone?" A strong accented and shy voice came from behind you causing you to turn around and blink a few times at the man in a very midevil looking outfit and gentle eyes holding a cup of what you assumed was water, but could be vodka- maybe he was crazy like that "Sorry- Im Marko.." He quickly introduces himself before continuing "You look extremely lost- Im sorry for spooking you" He says with a genuine tone leading to a smile pulling its way onto your lips. After introducing yourself you look back down at your texts "Im actually here for the after party? my friend- one of the performers invited me and he is quite the character when it comes to instructions..." You rub the back of your neck trying to explain the situation to the stranger who was just as bashful as you "Oh! I was just heading back! I'm not very talkative so I got some air but I can take you to the area they have for us" He offers running his hand through his hair that is surprisingly still in good shape like he had maybe applied hairspray not too long ago "Oh would you??" You put away your phone letting Marko nod and wave his hand indicating you to follow

"So who is your- eh- friend?" Marko looks over at you trying to make small talk. "Oh! His names Joost, he is representing the Netherlands." You explain and Marko's face brightens a little "Oh yes! I enjoy his company!" Marko nods with a smile "Makes sense you two are friends! it seems he can befriend almost everyone" He explains putting a finger to his jaw in what seems to be thought "Do you like cats?" Marko questions as you two get closer to the room, music can be heard from inside. nothing too crazy or club like but maybe just background ambiance "Oh yeah! They are so cute! I don't have any of my own but I like visiting my friends kitty's" You smile watching Marko excitedly pull out his phone "Oh let me show you mine!" He says as you two enter the room Marko going through his camera roll leaning into you to get closer so you can see better

Joost Turns to look at the door, hearing the squeak of the hinges that whines under the weight of it being even cracked open and furrows his brows seeing you walk in with Marko...What was he doing out there? Realizing he must have left the party Joost grows even more confused as to why you two were together- wasn't his directions perfectly understandable? His large blue coat long since shedded, Joost rolls up the sleeves of his white button up and crosses his arms leaning on a table watching the two of you interact. 'he is very close to you' he thinks to himself, a sour taste in his mouth watching you laugh at something he had said 'why is he, the shyer one of the bunch all buddy buddy with you? I mean you always have been so approachable- but that's not fair.' Joost clicks his tongue growing more and more impatient 'what if you are leaving me for him? what if you even forget who invited you here?' Joost can feel his patience thinning and the party getting quieter the more he focuses in on you two. Marko with a big grin on his face and you laughing at a photo he had shown you.

"Hey there you are!" Joost doesn't even recall when he had took strides over- or when he was so close to you he could feel the warm body heat emitting off of you "Marko! How nice of you to find my nieuwsgierig hertje". he purrs looking down at the man who is staring up at him "Oh uh-" Marko looks over at you and then slowly puts his phone away and wraps both hands around his drink "Yeah no issues" Marko nods. "No issues." Joost repeats grinding his molars together forcing a grin. he had never any issues with the Croatian- until he was basically in your arms "Bye-" Marko waves at you with a small smile wanting to escape the current situation and looking at Joost before entering the party again "Joost- You spooked him away" You sigh wrapping your arm around your friend leaning into him and Joost can feel his mind calming "He was too close to you" Joost huffs taking his glasses out of his chest pocket putting them on and pushing them up his nose

"He was showing me his cats-" You raise a brow and Joost looks down at you "that close? I think he just wanted to be up on you" Joost rubs his arms and looks away with annoyance lacing his voice "Whats got you in a mood?" you tug on his shirt and Joost grumbles "Nothing." He reply's and you frown "Nothing my ass, what's wrong" You stand your ground not expecting the tall blonde to drag you out into the hall not caring about his grand exit.

"Nothing is wrong." He snaps once you both get out into the hall "You were all emojis and smiles before you saw me walk in with Marko! he was very sweet." you huff and Joost crosses his arms "Sweet huh? sounds like you have a crush." He fixes his glasses that are slipping off his nose "I just met him Joost, what's up with you?" you frown walking towards him "This is a new side of you" You observe and Joost shakes his head "Im always like this okay?" he throws his hands up and you shake your head

"What- is wrong." you demand and Joost glares "Maybe I don't want to see someone I think highly of with some other guy." He says sarcastically "Highly of?" You push and Joost shakes his head "What are you talking about." You reach for him and Joost grabs your wrist, not hard- you could actually pull away if you wanted too "Someone I have wanted as mine forever, walks in with a guy who clearly was hanging off your every word." Joost pushes through his teeth.

you both stand there still as a wall and Joost observes your face, his pupils scanning you over and avoiding eye contact " you- want me?" You repeat and Joost sighs "onoplettend" he mutters and you shake your head "You cant use your mother tongue to get out of this Joost-" you say and take a shaky breath "Do you like me? like- like like-" You mutter and Joost swallows hard "Ja." He responds and you can feel your face grow hot "Really?" you mutter and Joost drops your wrist "Really. and it really- shook me I guess seeing you come in with him.." Joost grumbles and you shake your head "Your directions were ass" You laugh a little upon noticing Joost's offended face "They were eligible-" He defends and you sigh "I- feel the same- I have for such a long time-" You admit with a small smile "I never thought it was possible-" You shrug and Joost blinks at you like you are speaking in a whole other language

"Not possible-??" he repeats in pure shock "You are the most funniest, smartest, good looking, talented, and so much more of a person that I have ever met." Joost says his eyes going soft and you cant help the silence that comes after your brain still playing catch up with the new information "I wanted to tell you properly- a way you would see me as the same ways I see you..." He rubs his forearms nervously tracing his scattered tattoos. "but I guess-" He smiles "This might do?" he chuckles and you rub your mouth slightly with your hand "It does more than might do- I'm so happy-" You mutter and close your eyes taking a deep breath before walking towards him and embracing him in a big bear hug "You don't know how happy I am that you feel the same way" Joost says exasperated "Next time just tell me you goof than getting all jealous" You tease and Joost shakes his head "I was NOT jealous lets get that straight right now" He states playfully "Okay Mr.Not jealous" You chuckle as Joost wraps his arms around you "how does dinner sound tomorrow night-" He smiles and you nod slightly into his chest "consider it a date." you hum

Dutch translation: Curious deer: "nieuwsgierig hertje". Yes: Ja Oblivious: onoplettend A/N: heheheh I'm just cranking these out!!! I hope you liked it Anon and I hope it was what you were wanting! if not feel free to request again and I'm more than happy to keep writing!!! Thank you all for the love and the requests and everything! it makes my day seeing how many of you like my stuff....thank you! i love you all!!!!!

[morlock-holmes]

Okay, guys, after reading a post by @centrally-unplanned I just took that ACX "AI Turing Test" that Scott Alexander did, and I am screaming, as the kids used to say.

You guys are way, way overthinking this.

I thought I would do better than average, and I guess I did; excluding three pictures I had seen before, I got 31/46 correct.

Not great if you're taking the SAT, but I feel like if I could call a roulette spin correctly 2 times out of 3 I could clean up in Vegas.

So, what is the secret of my amazing, D+ performance?

You have to look at the use of color and composition as tools to draw the eye to points of interest.

AI is really bad at this, when left to its own devices.

For example, here:

Part of the reason to suspect that this is AI is the "AI house style" and the bad hands that I literally only noticed right this exact second as I was typing this sentence. Even if the hands were rendered correctly, I would still clock this as AI.

The focal point of this piece ought to be the face of the woman and the little dragon she is looking at (Just noticed the dragon's wings don't match up either), but take off your glasses or squint at this for a second:

Your eye is being drawn by the bright gold sparkles on the lower right side of the piece. That particular bright gold is only in that spot on the image, but there's no reason to look there, it's just an upper arm and an elbow. The bright light source highlighting the woman's horn separates it out as a point of interest.

Meanwhile, the weird aurora streaming out of the woman's face on the left side means that it is blending in with the background.

In other words, the way the image is composed, and the subject matter suggest that your eye should be drawn here:

But the use of color suggests that you should look here:

That's a senseless place to draw the eye towards! It would be a really weird mistake for a human to make! In fact, I think there's a strong argument that the really close cropped picture of the face of the character is a strong improvement. It's still not a particularly good composition, but at least the color contrast now draws the eye to the proper points.

In fact, I would say that a good reason for my performance not being even better was this alarming statement at the start of the test:

I've tried to crop some pictures of both types into unusual shapes, so it won't be as easy as "everything that's in DALL-E's default aspect ratio is AI".

Uh...

So how about this one:

This is a lot better anatomically and in terms of the use of color and light to draw the eye towards sensible parts of the painting. The lighting makes pretty good sense in terms of coming from a particular direction and it also draws the eye to effectively to the face and the outstretched hand of the figure.

It's also a really flat and meaningless composition and subject matter that no renaissance artist would have chosen. What is this angel doing, exactly? Our eye is drawn to the face and hand, and the figure is looking off towards the left side, at, uh, what exactly?

But then I thought, "Well, maybe Scott chopped out a giant chunk of the picture, and this is just a detail from, like, the lower right eighth of some giant painting with three other figures that makes total sense"

This makes sense as a piece of a larger human made artwork, but if you tell me, "Nope, that's the whole thing and this is the original, un-cropped picture" I'd go, "Oh, AI, obviously.

All of the ones I had trouble with were AI art with good composition and use of color, and human ones with bad composition and use of color. For example, this one:

This has three solid points of interest arranged in an interesting relationship with different colors to block them out. I'd say the biggest tells are that the astronauts' feet are out of frame, which is a weird choice, and looking closely now, the landscape and smoke immediately to the right of the ship don't really make sense.

But again; I had to think, "Maybe Scott just cropped it weird and they had feet in the original picture."

Here's another problem:

StableDiffusion being bad at composition is such a known problem that there are a variety of tools which a person can use to manually block out the composition. In fact, let me try something.

I popped open Krita (Which now has a StableDiffusion plugin) and after literally dozens of generations and a couple of different models I landed on ZavyChromaXL with the following prompt:

concept art of two astronauts walking towards a spaceship on an alien planet, with a giant moon in th background, artstation, classic scifi, book cover

And this was the best I could do:

Not great, but Krita has a tool that lets you break an image into regions which each have different prompts, so I quickly blocked something out:

Each of those color blobs has a different part of the prompt, so the green region has "futuristic astronauts" the blue is the spaceship, the orange is the moon, grey is the ground and pink is the sky, which gives us:

Still way too much, so we can use Krita's adaptive patch tool and AI object removal to get:

I'm not saying it's high art, or even any good, but it's better than the stuff I was getting from a pure prompt, because a human did the composition.

But it's still so dominated by AI processes that it's fair to call it "AI Art".

Which makes me wonder how many of the AI pictures I called out as human made because one of the traits I was looking for, good composition, was in fact, actually made by a human.

[karkkidoesartsandcrafts]

I made a doll

After making historical doll clothing, I got this idea that what if I made a doll myself. I was coveting a doll I could sew clothes for and then pose them for the clothing, but I don't really like that much of any of the design of commercial posable dolls and I'm broke so I can't in good conscience buy an artisan ball jointed doll (and I anyway don't like how thin most of them are). So I did the reasonable thing - I bought very cheep air dry clay (I do have "normal" clay but I don't have access to ceramic oven and it takes much longer to dry it and burn it etc, and I was literally just trying this out) and just started making it myself. I didn't plan ahead because it felt very overwhelming since I have never customized dolls beyond making them clothing and repainting their faces nor have I ever even owned a ball jointed doll. I went with the learning through mistakes rather than theory. The route I most often take. So just bear with me (real doll makers I'm sorry for the cringe).

Without further ado, here's Aune, my vampire OC (from my wip Be All My Sins).

I wanted to make her look like a porcelain doll, because I love their aesthetics. I did lean towards more realism than they were historically like though. Here's all her body parts before painting. (Some of the pieces in the picture are not actually fully smoothed and sanded, but it is right before I started painting the face. My brain just works in a way, where I jump around between the working stages. I'm very much incapable of doing anything organized and straight forwardly.) I have been wanting to do clay sculpting for a long time (it was so fun, when I was a kid in afternoon art school), and this was small scale enough to be manageable so it was so much fun. I will be definitely making more.

Here's her face before and after the paint. I'm quite happy on how the face sculpt turned out, but the paint job was a bit messy. As I mentioned I have done couple of repaints of doll faces, but I'm still not very good at it. When I paint traditionally I'm not often this detail oriented and painting on a 3D surface feels very different.

Here she is before and after getting her hair. I made her hair from wool yarn just by unraveling the yarn. It's the first time I made doll hair and I didn't want to buy proper doll hair for this or learn to curl it (I don't even have any curling irons or literally any other hair shaping appliances than a hair dryer, which I don't even use for my hair but for painting with water colors). It doesn't fall down nicely, but it has roughly the look I was going for.

Because I didn't plan at all ahead, the proportions are a little wonky (her arms especially are too thin imo and he legs could have a little more shape too) and the joints are not great. Worst of the joints was the hips, which attach to the torso in a weird way. The biggest issue that I had was not taking into account how much the varnish would add to the size. It's not a visible amount, but enough to make fit of the joints very poor and basically making it very hard for her to stand. (Her index fingers already broke of when she fell from my desk after I had made her stand there djfkjds. I was able to glue them back.)

Here's couple more picture of her!

It's not perfect at all, but I do still love her if only because it's such a cool feeling to be able to just have a lump of clay and two weeks later have a posable doll. It somehow feels magical to be just able to make a real physical thing from scratch.

[imdead770]

The Outsiders x Reader Headcannons

♡ Random things the gang would do if you dated them ♡

Darry -

He's fixing everything for you. Your shelf broke? Give him 15 minutes. Your car broke? He'll get Sodapop to fix it up for you. Your heart broke? He's fixing it. This man is Fix-it Felix.

♡

I feel like he wouldn't be the biggest PDA guy, but if you're both alone, he's probably holding you in some way shape or form. Your back against his chest, your head on his shoulder with his arm around you, it's happening and he's perfectly happy with it.

Sodapop -

I don't know why, but I feel like Sodapop picked a specific night for both of you to just spend time together and relax. Probably a Saturday night since he won't have to worry about work. It's just a night where you sit together, eat ice cream, and watch a movie. He'll hold you and quietly talk to you, randomly peppering kisses on your face.

^ this makes me so lovesick holy shit ^

♡

This man is HUGE on pda. He'll hold your hand, have his arm around your waist, kiss your forehead. As long as you're comfortable with it, he'll shower you with affection 25/8

Ponyboy -

He WILL watch sunsets with you. He'll take your hand, run you outside to his porch and sit on the steps with you. Your head rested on his shoulder with his arm around your waist.

" You were right Pony.. it's beautiful.. "

" Not as beautiful as you.. "

I know it's cliche but stfu

♡

I feel like he isn't really used to PDA, so he doesn't really initiate it. But the moment you do anything, from holding his jaw as you kiss him to entertwining your fingers with his, his heart melts. With a bit of time, he'll return the favor, he just needs to get comfortable.

Johnny -

I don't know if this is accurate, but I feel like he'd bring you flowers. No reason, he just wanted to bring his girl flowers. He'll bring you your favorite if he can. If he can't find some he'll pick the prettiest ones he can find. You had to buy a vase for just how often he brings you flowers.

♡

We all know this boy is shy, but I feel like once he warms up to you PDA is just normal. Not big PDA like Soda, but he likes holding your hand in public. In private he'll hold you against him, play with your hair, the whole thing.

Dallas -

He takes you to so many of Buck's parties it's not even funny. You're bored? He'll take you to go dance. You're stressed? He'll sit at the bar and drink with you. You don't drink? Well shit.

☆ On the dancing note, he's not a huge dancer, but he'll stand beside you to make sure nobody steps out of line. He also 100% watches your ass while you sway your hips. Probably grinds if we're being honest.

♡

On the PDA side, he isn't big on it, in public or in private. Gotta maintain that tough guy image. He might have his hand in your back pocket or around your hip. In private he won't be big on it at first, but after a bit he might hold you. Not like hold-hold, but he'll put his arms around you.

Two-Bit -

I swear on my life, this man will throw the worst pick-up lines at you. He doesn't care that you're already dating, he'll do it.

" Yknow, if you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. "

" Two-Bit, I love you, but shut the fuck up. "

♡

PDA wise, he'll do it. That's about it. He'll do it. He wouldn't make out with you on the spot, but he'll hold you, kiss you on the cheek, whatever. He'll do it.

Steve -

He'd try to bake with you. This isn't a regular thing, but I think since he likes chocolate cake so damn much, he'd decide to make it. He just decided to bring you along for the ride. To summarize it, it was a mess.

" Steve.. when did that milk expire? "

" Says.. December, why? "

" What year, Steve. "

" ... Ohhh.. "

♡

This mf is just a leveled-down Dallas ( in the best way possible ). He acts all tough/tuff but would do subtle acts. Hands around your waist, intertwining his fingers with yours, the basics. In private he'd definitely hold you, though.

I love them all so much

[bloodlust-1]

A bit of a weird request but my biggest insecurity is my larger vulva and I was wondering if you could write an Astarion smut where Tav is too insecure to initiate with Astarion due to that insecurity and him comforting Tav

My new obsession is adding stretch mark details bc that’s what I have, But! Ofc, all bodies have different shapes and sizes (And that isn’t stopping Astarion), soo let’s get into itttt.

Hope you like it anon!

・ “Let me see”・

Astarion x fem Tav — Explicit 18+

Summary: Being naked in front of Astarion - For him to see? It was all too vulnerable for Tav’s insecurities. But Astarion boldly displays Tav, legs spread, for his admiration.

T/W: Smut!

Notes: There’s something so therapeutic when a lover just *Loves* your body even when you’re insecure.

Astarion flung the doors of Tav's room open with a loud bang. Tav jumped in her seat just to see Astarion storming in with a determined look on his face. His brow was furrowed in frustration and his eyes held a hint of irritation.

Tav sat at an old wooden desk looking at a map of different quests marked in scribbles and dots. Needless to say, Their group was lucky enough to find an abandoned cabin with strong bones to even stand.

Astarion came to a stop in front of her, his arms crossed over his chest, "What's going on?" Astarion demanded.

He leaned in, his hands gripping the edges of her old wooden desk as he peered down at her with intensity. "Why are you avoiding me?" the rush of nerves coursed through Tav, and she felt the sting of his frustration.

There was a slight gloss cast over Astarion's eyes. Under all the frustration, he was truly worried. Remorse sank in, Tav knew that she had been keeping to herself and causing Astarion distress. After all, she was well aware of how important she was to him.

"I-I'm not avoiding you," she stammered, her eyes darting to the map on her desk. "I've just been busy trying to plan our next move. You know, with all these quests we need to complete."

The real reason why she ran away from Astarion was because of her own insecurities.

As Tav and Astarion grew closer, she worried that if things became too physical, he would see all of her flaws and imperfections. The stretch marks, scars, and the biggest insecurity between her legs would be on full display.

Tav was terrified of his reaction. The thought of him seeing her in such a vulnerable state made her want to run and hide.

Astarion, on the other hand, seemed to have no bounds. He desired a deeper level of intimacy with her, but Tav's insecurities were holding her back. She couldn't shake the feeling that he would see her differently, and her larger proportions only intensified that fear.

Tav wanted to give into his touch, but her insecurities were constantly tugging at her will.

Astarion let out a frustrated sigh, his gaze softening slightly. "We both know that's not true," he said, his voice gentle now. "Just tell me what I did wrong, love, so we can fix this already. It's driving me insane."

Tav's heart swelled at his words. She felt terrible for neglecting their relationship. She turned to face him fully, her eyes meeting his with a mix of regret and affection.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, placing a hand on top of his. "I didn't mean to push you away. I've just been so focused on the wrong things lately... I see how wrong I am now."

His angered demeanor softened, "But why? I was worried you were having second thoughts about us."

"Astarion, I never second guessed what we have."

"Then tell me why you were avoiding me."

Tav felt a cold sweat chill up her back. She wasn't expecting him to hound in so deep on this question. But she knew she couldn't keep hiding these insecurities from him, it would only push them away more.

With a determined sigh, Tav parted her lips, closing her eyes to avoid seeing his reaction, "I'm really nervous about having sex with you because I'm insecure about my body." She paused for a moment and took in a small breath. "I want to be completely open and vulnerable with you, but I'm afraid you won't find me attractive."

He scuffed, "That's Impossible." Astarion straightened his back before walking over to Tav's chair. He forcefully pushed the leg of the chair so that it was facing him.

Astarion grabbed Tav's waist and lifted her up onto the desk, causing a loud clatter as he swept everything off to the floor. The sound of clinking and clattering echoed through the room, but Astarion paid no mind to it.

"If only I knew this earlier...I would kiss every inch of your body until those insecurities were no longer."

Tav tilted her head away from his gaze as his face inched closer to hers, "I felt like you might've judged me..."

Astarion grabbed Tav's jaw tightly enough to force her face straight into his, "I have a contract carved into my back for fucks sake. Nothing is more uglier than this." Astarion let out an airy chuckle before locking eyes with her. "What is bothering you so much, my love?"

Her cheeks burned in embarrassment. Well - here goes nothing. "Down there - it doesn't look...pretty."

A sly grin spread across his face, pulling at the corners of his lips. "I couldn't disagree more."

Tav's eyes widened -

His slender fingers danced down the curves of Tav's body, and a teasing smile played across his lips. "You think it isn't pretty?" he whispered, his touch sending shivers down her spine.

Tav's body went tense from the sudden touches. But before she could protest, his fingers settled on her hips, holding Tav in place.

"And yet," Astarion continued, his voice low and playful, "it's probably the most perfect part of you." His words made Tav's heart skip a beat. "I'm sure of this," Astarion affirmed, his gaze intense as he met her eyes.

Tav's face burned hot, feeling both flattered and embarrassed at the same time. But in that moment, with his fingers on her hips and his words in her ears, Tav felt a little piece of confidence.

With a firm grip, Astarion grasped Tav's jaw, his fingers curling tightly around her cheeks. Desire burned in his eyes as he tilted her head back.

With a gentle yet forceful touch, Astarion exposed her nape, his lips trailing hot kisses along the side of Tav's neck.

Tav closed her eyes, completely under his control. His touch was intoxicating and she found herself craving it more and more. With each kiss, Tav's body melted into his, completely surrendering to his embrace.

An airy breath escaped Tav's lips while Astarion found his hands groping the pudge of her hips and ass. Tav nibbled on his lower lip as he tried to pull away from the kiss.

A mischievous chuckle escaped Astarion's lips. He was pulled back into the kiss playfully. But as their lips met again, he couldn't help but become serious, his eyes filled with a glint of excitement. At that moment, nothing else mattered.

Tav and Astarion were lost in their own world, their bodies entwined, their heat exuding off each other. And as they finally pulled away, both of them were left breathless.

"May I?" Astarion tugged at the hem of Tav's blouse.

Tav nodded softly.

Astarion pulled her blouse off, unclipped her bra, and tossed it to the side of the room. There was a small pause as his eyes traced over her bare chest, admiring it. His fingers softly graced Tav's skin gently, allowing his eyes to follow wherever his hands explored.

"You're stunning." He whispered while he fondled her breasts. Astarion was content with the simple pleasure of watching Tav squirm beneath his touch.

And as Tav's whimpers turned into moans he knew that they wanted each other, badly. Astarion leaned over and pressed hungry kisses against Tav's chest.

His breath deepened and he eagerly pulled off Tav’s pants and panties. He stripped Tav of her clothes until her shoulders tensed up, her eyes becoming watery, "I-I feel a bit shy." She thought again of her insecurity.

"Shhh…it’s okay." He gently guided Tav to lay back on the desk, his hands supporting her as she surrendered to his touch. “Just stop me if you get too uncomfortable, my love.”

He took in her naked body. He marveled at the sight before him. Every curve of her body was perfectly accentuated, like a work of art crafted by the gods themselves. He traced his fingers over every scar and mark.

As he gazed at her, he couldn't help but think that Tav resembled the women depicted in ancient statues, their bodies bare and curvy, their beauty immortalized for all to see. In that moment, Tav was just as breathtaking.

With each touch and caress, Astarion admired her. His hands dragged down her stomach while he kneeled in front of the desk. His thumb ran in between her folds, and it rested on her clit. He circled his thumb, pleased to hear the moans that flowed out Tav's mouth.

“Is this why you were so worked up?” He stared at Tav’s core, continuing to rub it. His mouth watered just staring at her.

From Tav’s pov, she saw his long pale arms caressing her lower body. It was gentle, but confident in his movements and it sent shivers up her back.

“Yes…” Tav shamefully admitted between the tingly sensation Astarion was sending up her spine. It was some what embarrassing for her, but he seemed to be completely taken aback from her body.

“Let me see -“ his hands rested on her knees, pushing them wider so that Tav was completely displayed naked in front of him.

His mouth inch closer and pushed a kiss against her clit, “You’re the prettiest when you’re like this. Legs spread apart for me to taste.”

Tav went silent, only the heavy breathing of her chest rising and falling was heard.

Again, Astarion placed a kiss over her core, pressing hot air against her each time he exhaled. He lingered longer, and his mouth started to move in wider kisses.

His tongue teased her folds until it found the perfect spot of her clit. Once found, Astarion hooked his arms around her thighs and pulled Tav deeper into his mouth.

A sharp tingle like electricity spread through out Tav’s body. Her mouth hanged opened as small moans filled the room. For the moment Tav closed her eyes and melted away into Astarion’s bliss.

His tongue was precise and flicked steadily in Tav’s most sensitive spot. Her hips bucked each time she felt the intensity of pleasure, but he pulled away each time. He wanted Tav to last long, and he wanted to taste her for as long as he could.

“You taste as good as you look, darling.” His husky voice tickled Tav’s inner thighs and it melted her heart, his compliments. He truly knew exactly what she wanted to hear.

His dragged his tongue softly against Tav’s core, “This is what held you back for so long?”

Tav proper herself up with her elbows, “It did.” Her eyes were hazy yet a tinge of sadness.

He shook his head in disagreement and click his tongue, “It’s perfect. And you’re perfect.” His red eyes intensified his gaze, “Stay right there. I’ll show you just how delicious you are.”

With a rough hold Astarion dug his fingers into Tav’s thighs. He buried his face between her legs and fuck - It sent Tav into a moaning mess.

“Mmh! Astarion-“ her voice cracked and trembled.

Tav arched her back, her hands gripping Astarion’s white curls as he flicked his tongue over her sensitive clit. Each touch sent waves of pleasure through her body, making her moan and whimper with need.

He continued to tease and please her, his fingers joining in to add to the sensation. Tav felt herself getting closer and closer to the edge, her body trembling with anticipation.

Finally, with one last flick of Astarion’s tongue, she climaced, her body trembled with the force of her release. Astarion sucked every drop of her essence, slowly bringing her down from her high.

As she caught her breath, she looked down at him with gratitude and desire. He smiled up at her, his face glistening with her juices.

So no, it may not be "pretty" in Tav's mind, but to Astarion, it was the most perfect part of her. And that, my dear, is all that truly matters.

Any thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!

[russellsppttemplates]

It's like we won't even be there (Lewis Hamilton)

Mercedes has three power couples

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time, I'm finally posting this request.

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions gender inequality, misogynistic ideals

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Everyone on social media has an inkling that you're bringing someone to the race. Is it your belle, Mr. Hamilton?", you teased your boyfriend as he got ready for bed.

You had arrived in Abu Dhabi a few hours earlier, caught a cab to the hotel where your boyfriend had been resting before media day.

"Is that so?", he wondered, "I haven't told anyone outside the team. And even them, I told them you would be joining as my guest, only a few people actually know about us", he assured.

"I don't mind it, we'll have to be public at some time. Three years dating outside of the public eye, plus another year of what the kids call soft launching, whatever happens this weekend, happens", you tranquilized him.

This had been an ongoing conversation for you for as long as you've dated. His lifestyle came with many implications, particularly not always being home and public eye. You also spent a lot of time focused on your job, building the company now associated to your name to the people in the finance business, so the latter question was the biggest one. While you were successful, it hardly impacted your life when it came to the public eye or social media. You had your accounts, sure, but they were private and they never got in the way of your job.

"I just don't want people to lash out on you", he replied, sitting next to you on the bed, his fingers tracing shapes in your hand, "I've seen how brutal they can be, I've felt how brutal they can be, and I don't want that for you. They'll gossip because that's how things work, but I don't want them breaking the respect line.", Lewis stated.

"Lew, I understand and appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine. I have you, our families, our friends, I'm going to be just fine. I don't know how they'll react, so I'll work with whatever happens", you smiled, snuggling into him as he caressed your face.

.

"Good morning, Y/N! How have you been? I haven't seen you in so long!", Carmen said as she hugged you once you arrived in the hospitality, Lewis kissing your cheek briefly before he headed for his meeting.

"Hello, gorgeous girl! I've been good, and you?", you greeted her with a kiss on each cheek after saying goodbye to Lewis.

"Same old, busy but managed to come and support G this weekend. You, however, seem to finally let it out", she smirked, walking with you to the coffee station and serving yourselves, sitting in the balcony as you overlooked the track.

"There's no point in keeping it a secret, I guess. We did it for a while, and this past year we both realised that we want to be able to go out and not be worried someone will see us and whatever consequences it could bring. We're adults who hope other adults will behave like such", you smiled.

"A hard thing to do sometimes, for them at least", you heard a female voice coming closer to you, "I don't believe we've met before, but Toto said you were hanging out here", the blonde woman said.

Suzie Wolff had been someone you looked up to since you were little, so this was a proper fangirl moment, "sit, sit! This is Y/N!", Carmen introduced after giving her a brief introduction.

"I keep missing you whenever you join us for the races!", she said, "the pandemic didn't help, and lately I've been so busy with the F1 Academy that I've hardly been to races myself", she reasoned, beginning the start of a conversation that was only interrupted for lunchtime.

"Press usually have a field day with powerful women related to this sport. You should be able to get away with it because you don't work for racing, but they love going on and on about how we got to where we are because of who we date", Suzie shook her head.

"Absolutely, because George is very interested in Family Offices and he got me my job", Carmen rolled her eyes, "you try and give that guy math stuff and you see how it turns out! Besides, not many people actually knew who he was, they're not very into motorsport, only a couple of them!", she teased.

"Agreed! The only way I was able to have my own company was because I name dropped Lewis, who I didn't know at the time. He doesn't know his numbers all that well. It's so easy for them to point fingers, but it's really just because they hate to see a powerful woman get the job done", you offered, seeing your partners arrive to the table along Laura.

"Social media is going crazy about you, Y/N!", Laura, one of the team's social media managers said while you had lunch, "there's people who spent the whole morning trying to find out who you were and they were faling to find your accounts. Apparently, they were looking in model agencies and such until someone pointed out you studied at the same university as them, and it's pointed them in the right direction I'd say?", she shrugged her shoulders, showing you her phone as she scrolled through media, "they're still trying to find out more, but they only have a few articles from your company and a picture of you when you graduated that is on the university's Wall of Fame!", she made you giggle, fondly looking at the wall of pictures you saw everyday on your way to lectures.

"Are you on the Wall of Fame and didn't tell us, Y/N?", Carmen exclaimed at the new information, "it's barely anything, I'm still there probably because someone forgot to remove the picture", you blushed, suddenly feeling like the table's attention was on you.

"Why would they take out the picture of the most beautiful woman with the most achievements?", Lewis charmed, holding your hand in his as he smiled.

.

"Are you guys ready for the race? If all goes well, we can get back to the points!", Suzie cheered as she handed you and Carmen your bottles of water.

"Lew has been beating himself up a lot lately, hopefully everything works in their favour", you held your hands together after setting the water bottle on the counter.

It was very touch and go, but the boys ended up with good results given the position they started in.

"Congrats, my love!", you said in Lewis' ear as he squeezed your torso over the barrier, delighting the sight of everyone who was watching and seeing the happy couple, "couldn't have done it without you, gorgeous girl", he yelled back, stealing a kiss before running to the mechanics.

"I'm just going to check where Suzie is and then we can go for dinner, guys", Toto stated, squeezing George's and Lewis' shoulders before checking is phone to see if his wife had seen the text he sent about said dinner.

"The F1 Academy paddock is closed, you can see it from here that nobody is there", George pointed out as his boss frowned.

"I would help you, but I have to go and look for Carmen, too", George scratched his cheek as they walked along the corridor, seeing Lewis open his driver's room door and slumping his shoulders slightly, "Y/N is not here either".

"Where have the Mercedes missus gone...?", Toto muttered.

It didn't take then long to hear the mix of your three giggles coming from the lounging area, the three of you sat in the smaller sofas around a coffee table, hot drinks in your hands as you discussed something avidly but in a relaxing way still.

"Are the three of you willing to have dinner with the three of us? We'll still let you speak between yourselves, okay? It's like we won't even be there!", Toto joked.

[quibbs126]

Well I also did this today. Sketches so I could try and figure out that skystar fankid since as mentioned earlier, I’ve been trying to think about him

I’ve been trying to draw other stuff today, but honestly after drawing Jazz, my creative juices have not been flowing as much. I tried to do more color palette drawings, but Megatron’s shoulders give me so much trouble I couldn’t figure them out, and I tried to draw Ironhide but he wasn’t turning out right proportion wise and I realized by them I was kind of just forcing it

But then I was bored and needed something to do creatively, so I tried to at least attempt some amount of designing this kid. Though first I needed to try and draw Starscream and Skyfire’s helms (since that’s on of the main things that don’t rely on alt mode) to see how I could combine them

I mean, I think I did all right. It is very much still a work in progress though

Probably shouldn’t have even posted it, just kept it to myself for future reference, but I have a problem of wanting to share literally everything I make with very few exceptions, so here we are

I have multiple alternate color schemes here as well because I just didn’t know what to pick

Honestly my biggest problem here for me is that Skyfire doesn’t have any design in Transformers One, at least not as far as I can tell. And he doesn’t really appear in much outside of that, so I’m really just stuck with his g1 design to base off of. So most of what I do have to work with comes from Starscream and the other Seekers

So like, I feel like this kid looks too much like Starscream, but I don’t know how to fix it

By the way, while I haven’t settled on a name for him yet, the one floating around for me right now is Overdrive? I don’t really know why, and it unfortunately is already a character’s name, but shush

It may change, but for now, in this post, his name is Overdrive

There’s also the problem of the color scheme for him here. Because like, Skyfire and Starscream technically have almost the same color schemes, just that Starscream also has black/grey and they’re dispersed differently. So I’m trying to find a balance here that works without looking too much like one or the other

I had a brief idea to base Overdrive’s color scheme on the original Jetfire toy, and honestly I do think it could work, with the mainly white with red and black accents, it's just that for whatever reason, I don't like how it looks when I make his middle part red. Maybe I've been watching too much g1, because there's a lot of red Autobots, and characters having white and red on their helms isn't that uncommon either. So I just keep it blue so he looks distinct in my head. I might switch it over to the Jetfire color scheme later though

Also you see that for one of the visors I toyed with him having green eyes (his eye and visor color match btw, the eye's only there so you can see it), because some people decide that pre-betrayal Starscream had non red optics. But I didn't just want to stick with plain blue, and I knew that we see a number of miners with green eyes, so why not green? I changed it because I thought maybe he didn't look Starscream enough, but eh

Oh yeah, I do have a few other notes on his design here, since I'm realizing I've mostly just been complaining

Why did I give him a visor? Eh, why not, Skyfire and Starscream don't have them. But I based it on how it looks on Thundercracker and Skywarp

As for his side vents, I wasn't really sure how to do them, but I didn't want them to be the same as Starscream. I tried to base them off of Slipstream's, but the way the vents folded looked weird to me, and I ended up cutting them off and making his face into what you see in the bottom left there. It didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted in the colored version though, and I think I ended up circling back to Starscream's vent shape. But oh well, things to change later

Oh yeah, pictures of Thundercracker, Skywarp and Slipstream to know what I’m talking about. Or more accurately, this is what I used

Also those things on his sides? They were supposed to be like Skyfire's side cheek things he has in g1, but I also made them puff out for some reason. I don't know why. I'll probably tweak it, but I want to keep some aspect of it I think

*sigh* to be honest, I really don't know what I think of this design. It really isn't finished at all. I'm really not even sure why I'm showing it, other than to say I'm working on it and I didn't just abandon it? But I mean, we'll see how long that lasts

Do I have anything I added on to Overdrive's character at least? Well no, not really. By this afternoon I think I had mostly creatively drained myself, I mostly just wrote what I had originally again

Namely that he came to be after Sentinel's betrayal, and as such Starscream doesn't know he exists and Skyfire thinks Starscream's dead. Overdrive still has his cog, it never got stolen, either because Sentinel hadn't thought of it yet or he didn't have a believable means to have it taken without it being suspicious. All I really know is he's a jet, but isn't outfitted for military work of any kind, his profession probably being closer to Skyfire's

As for Skyfire, I'm stealing his role here from another fanfic I read, where he's a scientist who was trying to figure out the cause of the Energon shortage and the lack of the miners' cogs (unaware that latter part is a lie, but he was growing suspicious with the discouragement of that line of research), though he also races occasionally. So maybe Overdrive's a scientist too? I don't know, I don't think he needs to be, but I don't know what to make him

Also a note that isn't new to me but I don't think I ever mentioned, due to Skyfire's research, he's met the miners plenty of times and was generally considered one of the nicer cogged bots to them. Overdrive has by proxy met them on occasion as well, including D-16. So as it happens, Megatron does in fact know about Overdrive and the fact that he's Starscream's kid (Skyfire probably mentioned his former conjunx at some point), but he doesn't know that Starscream doesn't. So he hasn't told anyone because he assumes everyone already knows

But yeah, I have Overdrive's backstory, but I really don't have anything about his actual job or personality. To be honest, I think some of it's me being paranoid I recreate Locket in some way, since I like seeing stuff on the Locket AU. I suppose I try making him closer to Skyfire's personality? But for whatever reason, my brain can't rectify that in my head. I don't know

Still don't have an answer on his alt mode either. And it gets even trickier now because they don't have Earth alt modes, they're Cybertronian (even if they don't all look the most different from Earth vehicles here). I did learn about the existence of triple engine jets today, and I kind of want to do that, but I don't know if I will. I also don't know how to draw planes yet, or how they entirely translate to robot mode

But yeah, I think I'm done here, just updating you on what I've been up to this latter half of the day

[cillianmurphysdimples]

A female Y/N / Cillian fanfic (Part Twenty Two)

Absolutely not based on anything real at all, all totally fictional, fanciful and all total bollocks.

Warnings for sexual references and language. Adult themes. Not suitable for under 18s.

We Got Issues

Part Twenty Two: Aran has his say, and Y/N and Cillian listen. But Cillian is able to ensure he hears his views too. Y/N struggles with the subject, knowing the young man is struggling too. Resolution may come, but why does she feel like she's standing in the depths of the secrets and lies alone? [Anxiety and deep family issues - mentions of abortion and domestic violence?]

@remembering-angels @dragonsneversharetheirtreasure @aesthetic0cherryblossom @meister95 @vivianleighwishesshewasme @meadowshelby @lavender-haze-01 @strangeions @watermeezer

I have referenced the bracket with domestic violence. I consider it domestic violence, but some of you may not. But just in case you share my view, I've put that little indicator there.

-------

“Right,” Cillian holds his hands out before him. You're all perched on stools at the island and looking at one another awkwardly. “How are we doing this, Aran?” You can hear his anxiety, and see it in the frequency of his tongue swiping over his lips.You look at the young man and wonder what he's thinking. He's not so readable as his dad is.

“I dunno.” Aran says quietly.

“Well, will I tell you anything or do you want to get your questions asked?” Cillian offers a choice.

Aran takes a deep breath. “I can ask what I want?”

“Anything you need to, son. I'm not going to hide anything.” Cillian insists.

Aran looks a little relieved for a moment, and then you wonder if he realises he now has a free pass. “When did you start seeing her?” Aran asks, and he doesn't look at you for a moment.

“Nearly a year before your Mum and me split up.” Cillian answers calmly. “But Aran, your Mum and me, we were going that way anyway. We did not split because I was seeing Y/N. I'd nearly made that decision by that point already, and it only got worse.”

“And the baby?” Aran asks, but he looks at you this time. “If he wasn't with Mum, would you have kept it?”

You shake your head, “I don't know. I can't give you an answer for that, because I don't know what would have happened if things were different.”

“Does Mum know any of it?” He asked, and you look to Cillian as Aran does.

Cillian shakes his head. “I don't think so: like I said, we were in bad shape, Aran. We would have snapped sooner or later. Things were not good. But when we broke it all off and decided to separate, I didn't mention Y/N. Mostly, I didn't mention her because there was enough shit under the bridge for your Mum and for me to end it. No new reasons were needed. I suppose I didn't see the point in fueling the fire.”

Aran looks at his hands, wringing together as his arms rest on the island, and he takes a few steady breaths. “Why, Dad?” he looks up at Cillian and you can see he's grappling. “If you wanted to split up with Mum, you should have. You should have left her before, not after.”

“I know,” Cillian nods, and you don't like the guilty look on his face.

“And did you know he was married, and that me and Mal existed?” Aran asks, turning to you again, and there's an edge to his voice.

Swallowing nervously, you nod your head. “I did.” You say quietly.

“You're an idiot,” he turns back on his father. “You got her fucking pregnant, Dad! Cheated on Mum and got her pregnant, that the biggest cliché there is, you know?” Cillian closes his eyes but let's Aran get out what he has to. “It's disgusting. It was disgusting enough when you were seeing her before the divorce was even sorted, it's ten times as bad knowing the truth of it.” He sniffs. “It's not just that, either, it's like…like you don't respect Mal and me, that you'd go shagging around making new kids and didn't even have the balls to be honest about it. And you left, Dad! Us, and Mum, for Y/N. You think dinners and lifts from school make it okay?”

“Aran,” you say gently.

“No, he said I can say what I need to. And it needs to be said. You're both disgusting. Sneaking and lying. You're liars.” Aran snaps back. “I thought I was okay and just needed to know, but it isn't okay. It's not okay because it feels like you lied to me.”

“You were thirteen when Mum and me split up, Aran. I wasn't going to sit you down and go over the specifics. But I did sit with you and Malachy, though, and I told you the truth - I did tell you the truth, Aran. We couldn't be together any longer, the rowing and the fucking silent treatment. Sure half the time I was away and would ring to talk to you boys, I'd be ignored entirely or she'd say youse were out or something. She started keeping you from me when I was right there, and the fights got worse when I'd be home.” Cillian explains himself as calmly as he can..”If I thought at the time I'd be helping you or Malachy by telling youse about Y/N, I would have. But it was enough pain for the two of ye that Mum and me couldn't be together anymore. I didn't want to make it any harder.”

“Would you ever have said anything, if I didn't find those?” Aran asks quietly.

Cillian shrugs one shoulder. “I don't know. Maybe when you were older. But I don't know, Aran. Maybe not. Sure what good is it doing for you now knowing? You're angry, and it's causing more trouble it need not have caused.”

“You said you didn't leave because of Y/N, so why did you only leave after you were seeing one another?” Aran asks, and he's calmer, and he looks at his Dad, then at you.

Cillian looks at you with a small smile, though his eyes are still sad and anxious, and then he looks back at Aran as he considers his sons question. “She helped me make the choice. Nothing she did, she didn't say leave her, she didn't tell me to get divorced - I don't mean it that way. But away from your Mum, and with Y/N, apart from missing you two or worrying about you two, I felt happier. There were no arguments, or being ignored, or threatened with the chance I'd lose the two of ye.*

“We heard it, you know?” Aran says and you frown.

“The arguments?” Cillian asks.

Aran nods his head, “Yeah. Sometimes.” you feel sad for him and for Cillian.

Cillian sighs sadly, “I'm sorry.”

“One time, we heard you telling her to stop something, that you didn't like it and then there was a noise and Malachy was gonna go out and I said no. And then Mum was crying and she was saying she was sorry. Did she hit you?” Aran asks.

Cillian shakes his head quickly, “No, Aran, nobody hit anybody. But there were a few nights she'd throw things, when she was angry. Sometimes I understood I'd made her angry, even if I hadn't meant to. Other times, she was just angry and I couldn't work it out. She wasn't happy either, Aran. It wasn't working, the two of us, but we were trying to get back to where we used to be, to keep things going well for the two of ye.”

“She slapped that Easter.” Aran says and you turn your face to Cillian slowly. “Uncle Páidi was there, Dad, you both were, like, bickering and he kept saying it wasn't right. Mal and I weren't stupid, Dad, we could see it and hear it. And we were outside and Páidi was going in and we looked up and the kitchen window and you shouted something and Mum slapped your face. So don't say she didn’t do it, Dad.”

Cillian takes a deep breath and he sort of rolls his eyes, almost like a shrug action but with his face, and you want to reach out and touch him but you don't want to upset Aran. “I don't…” Cillian sighs.

“I never saw you do it, and we didn't see her to it again either. But we always thought we knew when she did.” Aran says. “And that time you two had the fight after you got back from filing away somewhere. It was like days of doors slammed and,” he shakes his head and laughs sarcastically. He's seeing it all, in his mind, you know, and you feel for him. “And she put your case at the top of the stairs, and you went to Síle's for a week. You'd been gone ages, and you went again.”

“Jesus . Aran, I'm sorry.” Cillian says so gently, so quietly, he sounds lost and small. “We never wanted to hurt you or your brother, and I know I'm not painting your Mum out well here, but she didn't want you two hurting either. But I see that it has, beyond us just splitting up. And I wish we'd done it sooner because then you'd have been saved from that. Especially those last couple of years when I was barely there, working, staying elsewhere, fighting when I was there or the fucking silences, and then just being around until bedtime. I know you knew I would leave at night.”

Aran nods his head. “You used to come back about five in the morning.” He smirks.

Cillian smiles sadly, “Yeah,” he sighs.

“He'd stay with you, before he left at the end, when he wasn't at home?” Aran asks you.

You nod, “Yeah, right before the split he did. Yeah.” You offer him a small smile. “He talked about you and Malachy all the time, still does. He never wanted to be gone, be away from you. He just couldn't stay with your Mum any longer.” It's quiet for a minute. Nobody shifts, nobody speaks, and you wonder what the two of them are thinking. Then Aran speaks up again.

“Dinner, and driving us, Dad… it is good. It means we see you all the time.” He says, quietly. It's a sorry, you realise, and you see the small look of acceptance that crossed Cillian's face. “But I just, I wish you didn't lie. I wish you didn't…” he takes a deep breath. “...I wish you didn't have a fucking affair, Dad. That's just as bad as Mum slapping your face, you know? Youse could have just left each other, but you both hurt each other and you lied. And that's worse. And worse again is that you two were…and then you'd come home and be with Mum….”

Cillian shifts awkwardly and you cringe, knowing instantly what Aran is so agonisingly trying to say. “No, Aran…” Cillian holds out his hands. “No. Your Mum and me were not in the same room for over a year. I wasn't …bed hopping.” He almost laughs but neither of you find it funny.

Aran looks at you for a moment, and you feel exposed. You're glad he's asking what he wants, you think, and you're proud of Cillian for answering him honestly. But it still feels a lot, like removing a scab, and you're not sure the wound is ready. “I won't say anything.” He says. “But I think you should, to Malachy at least. Maybe you don't owe Mum that, I dunno, but Mal should know.”

Quiet falls again and you breathe through a wave of nausea once again. You get up from the stool and take a glass from the dish drainer, then fill it from the tap. With your back to Cillian and Aran, you sip the water slowly, fighting the feeling of a rising gag. You want to sit closer and hold Cillian, you want to rest your head on his shoulder and lace your fingers with his - and yet you don't, because you don't want to hurt his son.

“About the baby though,” Aran says suddenly. You freeze at the sink, then slowly turn around. “If you were going to leave Mum anyway, why didn't you just keep it?”

Cillian considered the question and licks his lips slowly, “It wasn't the right time. It wasn't fair to Y/N because I couldn't be with her right then, and it wasn't fair to you two or your Mum - because then I would have had to have told you all everything, and hurt you all. And it wasn't fair to me, either. I was in no place to be seeing to a wee one when you two were going to need me more with everything I knew was coming. It just wasn't the right time, for anyone.”

Aran frowns, “I don't know all about it, Dad, but you let her go on her own? Don't they like, kill the baby? I mean…”

“Aran,” Cillian shakes his head and then looks at you. Your chin quivers. “I wanted to be there, and I couldn't be. I'm not proud of myself, son, and I'm not going to excuse it. I wasn't there when she needed me and I'm going to regret that for as long as I live. But at the time I thought between working and protecting you and Mal from what was going on, hiding it, that I was doing the right thing. It wasn't.*

You feel your heart beating quicker at Cillian's admissions. Sure, he's said he's sorry so many times, but he's never been so willing to hold up his deficiencies like that before. You swallow hard, nausea and emotions swimming around your entire insides, and you keep your eyes on him.

Aran nods his head slowly. “Sorry you had to…do that.” He says, quietly, and you're not sure if he's saying it to you or to his Dad but you take it into your heart.

“How do you feel, now?” Cillian asks, his eyes fixed on his son.

Aran shrugs, “Think I understand it better. It doesn't make it better, or make what you did okay,” he shrugs again. “I mean you stayed together, yeah? You and Y/N. So it wasn't like a stupid thing that got in the way.”

“No, not at all.” Cillian says quickly. “And Aran I don't hate your Mum or anything; I could never have stayed but it was both of us that were causing the problem, it wasn't one sided. And we have you two - she's always going to be important. I just couldn't stay.”

Aran nods his head and you watch his expression. “I get that.” He says and you're surprised at the maturity, especially against his earlier clear anger. “Sometimes things just change.”

“Exactly.” Cillian nods slowly. “What doesn't change is how important you and Malachy are, you know that, yeah?”

Aran nods, “Yeah,” he whispers.

Cillian takes a deep breath. “And no matter what happens in this house, in this relationship, you and Mal are always going to be important. I might make more choices you're not entirely happy with, but it doesn't mean I'm doing it against you. You two aren't babies now, and you'll be away in your own homes with your own lives soon enough.”

“You say that like you're planning something,” Aran jokes nervously.

“I just mean that choices we might make in the future aren't meant to hurt you, but that it'd be choices for us and our life,” he gestures towards you. “Not for you and Malachy.”

Aran nods his head again, “I get it, Dad.”

“I love you two so much, and I'll be here whenever you need me.” He says with a catch in his voice. You study his face, wondering if this is the moment he cries. But he doesn't. “But I also love Y/N, and our life here matters too.”

“I know.” Aran says, and again he's quiet.

Cillian shifts on the stool. “Do you have anything else you need to ask, or anything you need to say?”

Aran looks at him for a moment, then at you, then back to his Dad. “No.” He says quietly.

“If you choose to tell your Mum and your brother, I can't stop you. But I'd prefer it if you didn't. And maybe soon, I'll do it.” Cillian says, and he sounds so diplomatic, so fair and even, and you're not sure why he isn't trembling you are.

“I won't,” Aran sighs. “What good would it do?”

You feel it to be a rhetorical question, and it throws you off when Cillian answers it. “None at all, Aran.” He swipes his tongue over his lips. He gets to his feet. “C'mere,” he says to him, opening his arms. “Give me a fucking hug.”

Aran scoffs but he gets off the stool and walks around to meet his father. You watch as they lock their arms around one another and you feel relieved for Cillian. His eyes are closed as he holds his son tightly. He's lightened by the talk, and you're glad. But you wonder where your arms of support are?

[being-addie]

The Glow Up Game

Part One: Pretty on the Outside

A comprehensive guide to getting your shit together. You heard me. We are done standing on the sidelines, looking at people living their dream lives being rich and hot and happy. WE'RE DONE.

This is a long guide, filled with pointers covering EVERYTHING regarding physical glow-ups. I'll be editing it and reblogging it whenever I come across new ideas and information. It covers everything from head to toe. I mean this literally.

Note: This is for people who want to do glow up physically. It is totally your choice to do anything you want to/don't want to on this list. We live in a world full of unfair beauty standards, and instead of being angry about it, I'm going to exploit the hell out of it.

Are you ready to change yourself? Here we go.

The absolute basics: These are lifestyle changes you're going to implement. Non-negotiable.

Go exercise: Don't look at me like that. This isn't optional. Find a way to move your body so you like it and you're actually breaking a sweat. Leisurely walking on the treadmill does not count, half-hearted zumba does not count. Whatever you're doing, it has to make you SWEAT. A good figure is earned. Trust me when I say you'll feel better, and like what you see in the mirror.

Change your diet: Enough sugar. Toss the soda out, and chuck out your candy stash. You really don't need it. Craving something sweet? Make a batch of healthy, homemade dessert. Or have a piece of fruit. I'm not kidding when I say the kitchen is where you make the biggest lifestyle change. It will be HARD, but every McChicken you say no to, is good for your HEALTH. You want to live longer? Cut out the takeout and heavily processed foods.

Fix your sleep cycle: Sleep is so important, and I think people overlook it so much. All your hard work is wasted if you don't sleep well. Your skin will break out, and your body will refuse to change even if you exercise. SLEEP WELL. Create a nighttime routine and stick to it. Make sure you have at least 7 hours of sleep as a minimum.

Create a skincare routine: Take off your makeup every day. And have a good skincare routine. Cleanse, moisturize and apply whatever you usually do. Exfoliate twice a week and stop touching your face. I also drink an ABC smoothie (Apple+Beetroot+Carrot+Water). This does wonders.

Use sunscreen: I cannot stress this enough. Skin cancer is real, and it will get you if you don't wear sunscreen. Use something higher than SPF 50 and use it religiously. Make sure to get your earlobes, chest and back of your neck. Cover every inch of your skin that will be exposed to the sun.

Drink your water: 3 litres of water per day. You will be amazed at the results. Your skin will clear, your breath won't stink and you won't be dehydrated. This shit works, and there's a reason everyone recommends it. Drink your water.

Moving on to each itty-bitty detail.

Eyes: SLEEP. You want your eyes to look fresh? No pesky dark circles? Get your sleep cycle right. No more late nights. Hot girls sleep on time.

Nose: Those blackhead-looking things are natural, they're called sebaceous filaments. And, no you can't get rid of them. But you can minimize them. Cleanse, moisturize and exfoliate. Don't pick at your skin.

Lips: Don't bite them anymore, for God's sake. You're going to make sure they're chapped beyond belief. Use lip balm religiously and don't overuse lipstick. Your lips WILL get discoloured when you're older. Use a light lip tint, and lip balm/gloss.

Eyebrows: If you want to shape them, go to the hairdresser and get it done.

Facial hair: As someone with naturally dark, thick hair I have a lot of noticeable facial hair. I'm planning on getting it lasered soon. Find a way that works for you and is affordable.

Body hair: I have zero self-consciousness about my arm and leg hair, so I have no desire to shave or wax it. I do wax my underarms, because of ridiculously thick growth. Understand that this is a personal choice, and you do not have to do this if you're unwilling.

Nails: Keep them short or long, always filed and CLEAN. Do not let grime or dirt build-up underneath. Don't keep your nails painted 24/7, it will 100% lead to yellowing. Give your nails some time to breathe between every manicure. When they aren't painted, keep them filed and presentable.

Hair: I have Type 3a curly hair, so my hair routine is tailored to suit me. But what I can tell you is wash your hair at least 1x a week, use sun protectant, and oil your hair before wash day(it works). And use heat on your hair SPARINGLY. If you want to colour you can, but remember it does lead to long term damage, brittleness and bad texture. Get your hair cut every 3-4 months with a trusted hairdresser. Keep switching up hairstyles and do not stick to a single part (middle part, side part) constantly because it can lead to thinning of hair there.

Acne: STOP TOUCHING YOUR FACE I am begging you. Touching your face with grimy hands is a recipe for acne. Cleanse everyday, moisturize heavily and go to a dermatologist if it gets worse.

THIS LIST WILL BE UPDATED

Go live your best life. You deserve everything, and you shouldn't let anything stand in your way, not even yourself. Now GO, you've got shit to do.

xoxo

[dufferpuffer]

Why do you think Arthur’s physical description is important to his character?

This is one of the characters I think the movies fucked up visually. Is it the biggest deal in the world? No. Though that's partly because so many of his scenes were straight up cut. But it is a shame.

I think Mark Williams brought a lot of warmth to the character. He feels like a lovely average father - who likes sport a normal amount and likes his eccentric hobby a large amount. He is sweet and fun, can be a little stern when he needs to be... ...But he is also kinda dopey. Even when he needs to come across as serious and capable.

He has a constant sense of being a little lost. A little soft. Does his best but typically feels like he is out of his depth wherever he is. He basically looks like how I imagined Bagman.

This isn't how he is in the books. In the books he serves as a near constant voice-of-reason and source of information. He calms people down quickly and efficiently, takes control of situations responsibly and isn't afraid to tell it like it is. In fact he considers being honest and accurate very important, having seen a lot of darkness, suffering and death in his life.

When other people wont touch a topic because it is too sad, too scary or too stressful - he walks right in and brings it up. When everyone else is panicking he keeps his cool and works hard. A capable leader. Reliable, intelligent, strong and quick-witted. Everyone knows him, likes him - and owes him a favor or two because he's been solving problems for everyone.

Is that how Movie!Arthur comes across...?

In the books - he is tall and thin, similar to Bill, Percy and Ron. His red hair is balding and he wears horn-rimmed glasses on a kind face - im thinking a geek-ish vibe (younger Dr. Isaac Kleiner) He wears green robes and a long dusty traveling cloak. Simple and professional, if a little battered by a hard working life.

He sounds like an average sort of guy whose defining trait is his intelligence. Perhaps he is a little eccentric and scattered at times - but he can actually be quite imposing. He doesn't sound dopey.

Tangent: 'What is the function of a rubber duck?' isn't canon. He collects plugs. He knows the proper way to use a fellytone. He can drive cars. He understands Muggle clothing in detail - and how to get by without magic or eckletricity when camping. He works with Muggles for his job. He isn't clueless.

Another thing: He and Molly are not visually distinct in the Movies.

Broad, friendly, homely, browns, patchwork and plaid - hair a little messy and tummies a little soft. They are almost always shown together and melt into a single 'warm parent' character. But they aren't the same. They are very different people and parents, yet fit together well as an odd-shaped team. Looking like that - like opposites that fit together well - portrays that at a glance.

That's my thoughts. I think for the scripts he was given Mark Williams did a good job of getting the gentle loving core of Arthur - and he's just a cutie. Look at him. He needs a cuppa tea.

But I also think that, as Arthur is a side-enough character people don't put much thought into his scenes, the Movie version of him pops up in their heads even when reading the books.

[jam-archive]

Finished reading the comics and I’m working on breaking down Skully’s character.

My first and biggest question is; what is Skully? Let’s say that Jay has become Skully (or Skully has become Jay), but why did that not happen with the others Skully carries? If we go in chronological order of deaths in the series Amy was the first, the bearded man (who I’m calling John, like John doe), Jay and then Alex. (I think there’s even a possibility Brian is in there too but it’s unconfirmed, so then it’d be Jay, Brian, Alex?) And for some reason, when Skully was “collecting” Jay, they fused. I’m assuming that before Skully was taking the form of either Amy or John, so why did Jay become the “host body”? I think the meta answer is that Skully was originally supposed to be Jay’s alter ego before that idea got scrapped (if that is not true I made that up in my head). So, what is Skully? Well we now know that Skully is more complicated than just an alter ego. It’s a spiritual being, probably born from the same place the Operator came from. What made it the way it is? Skully claims they are “unbroken” while anyone affected by the Operator sickness is “broken”. Does the Operator even affect Skully? If they are of the same kin, so to speak, then probably not (skully might actually cause similar effects on people like hallucinations). I don’t think anywhere in the comics it shows Skully dealing with the sickness the way others do. Skully might be able to travel between dimensions too, I think there’s three in total. Our world, The End, and The Ark (the end and the ark are separate because the ark feels like a deeper layer). Our living cast of characters is considered to be “broken”, and Skully tells us they can be “fixed” but it requires the Operator’s death. So far the only plan of action to kill it is to starve it to death, which is where Skully comes in and plays an important role. By “collecting” all those who have died and been taken by the Operator to be consumed by the Ark before they are.

Backtracking. It seems to me that Skully is its own person/being before it ever started picking up souls. If it carries many, I think it’s implied there’s more than just Amy, John, Jay and Alex in there. Maybe hundreds of people came before Amy. Overtime I imagine Skully would’ve changed and developed into what they are now, forming this unstable body, and what I mean by unstable is; the body has trouble staying in one piece. I say this because when Skully takes off their mask to reveal themselves to Jessica, Jay’s face splits away as the others start to spill out. I don’t think Skully has control over it either, which may explain why they’re clothed head-to-toe as a way to maintain their form (“keep a lid on it”). Skully has to put the mask back on to make it stop. If Skully can choose the person they want to present as, why Jay? It has nothing to do with Jessica recognizing Jay because she would’ve recognize Amy too. Has Jay been reborn through Skully? I’m not sure that’s exactly what’s going on. Obviously something special happened when Jay and Skully fused, I think they became one, but is it Jay or is it Skully inhabiting Jay’s body? If the latter is true, that means 1) Jay is in fact dead 2) Skully and Jay are separate people. Rather Jay’s spirit has become apart of the whole and shapes who Skully is. This is what I theorize is going on in canon.

I apologize if this is incoherent ramblings I’m working on my analytical skills and have never made a post like this before