#thanks Kid
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Little girl at Starbucks: I like your shirt
The shirt in question was my black and red, angsty, industrial HEALTH t shirt. 🤷♀️
#thanks kid#your fairy princess dress#was adorable#your mom needed to pipe down#on that phone call though
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Hello Yusuke💚 not much to say EXCEPT I'm a big fan of yours ✨ keep up the good work! Oh and please let Hiei know I think he's such a cute frickin little gremlin 👁️👁️
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I'm dying. Caught a stomach bug from my kid and now I'm vomiting every 20 minutes ☠️
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a kid who i've already met multiple times before introduced himself to me today by saying "Hi, I'm [his name]. I'm a troublemaker and I like to break things." then started swinging around a large stick presumably with the intent to harm
#i fucking love this specific group of kids they're so funny#another one said i have a swarm of angry monkeys on my head and they're attacking#so i said oh my god what do i do and he said you'd better jump into the water over therr#so i pretended to jump in the water and said oh my god oh my god are they gone. The monkeys#and he said yes but now you have dangerous fish on your head and they're even angrier#and he was also like. i like to torment my mom with mice and my dad with caterpillars because they dont like those animals#and his dad is my coworker so now i know his weakness#thanks kid
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*gives you this*
It’s squishy you can squish and stretch him
…
*slow squish*
…huh
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being closeted is weird cause like. yesterday my cousins (8 and 10) came down and visited and i let them do my hair and all everyone was like wow youre so nice letting them do that and its so sweet that youre leaving them in and i was all like teehee im girlmode rn never had people play with my hair like this i like this im sooooo girlcoded rn. also how in past relationships ive braided my partners hair and done the same thing. i love being a tranny so many benefits (if you ingore the evil parasites lurking in the dark)
#the first thing their older brother said to me when he saw me was “you look old”#thanks kid#he also said the he “wouldnt be able to sleep at night” if his room was as messy as mine#i had just cleaned it dawg
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I love it when kids are overly precise. I was telling this kid about the bug zoo's summer volunteer program for teens -- he was a a few years too young for it but I could tell he'd love it once he's old enough. He responds with, "We have a volunteer at my school! Her name's Miss May, or just May if you're an adult."
#thanks kid#idk it just delights me#maybe because i'm not quite sure what level of detail is necessary/appropriate in many social situations myself#stories#kids#my posts
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4yo “Mama why did you take so long to go?”
“Because I couldn’t see if there were cars coming.”
“But you have eyes.”
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You don’t know true confused horror until a four year old that looks like the ghost of a Victorian child turns to you and with no prompting says “You’re not dead…”
#I’m a daycare teacher for context#the parents had just explained the concept of death to the kid#and he had labeled others as alive but me as ‘not dead’#thanks kid#exactly what I want to be#‘not dead’#not ‘alive’#but ‘not dead’#also he has the most sickly little Victorian child look ever#first time I saw him I thought he was a ghost#so goddamn pale
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You are amazing, don’t let this get to your head now 🙄
But seriously quite funny, mostly good advice and great talks. You are in need of a new job and a sleep schedule (no judgment)
You where for sure between top 3 and 5 of blogs I started talking over DMs too and yeah now you are stuck with my stupid ass 🤭😈
Yup chill person, now forget everything about this otherwise your head will explode from your ego
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wow look at this blank message!
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🌶️ pet play?
❝ My captain calls me cat everyday. Don't think I can get horny from being called those things after that. ❞
#Kid ruined it for her#thanks Kid#Best captain tho nya nya we stan :)))) *sweats*#⚕ ⦅ Consultation hour. ⦆⠀⠀/ ic .#⚕ ⦅ purrs ⦆⠀⠀/ suggestive .
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im going baby mode *spits a piece of wet bread into my hand and offers it to you while making direct eye contact*
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I can’t tell y’all how many times one of my kids (at ages 2-4) have pointed to a strange man in public and said “Daddy!”
That’s so embarrassing fr
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My kid made me this and I feel so old. 😫😂
#breaking bad#walter white#book tumblr#teenagers#i’m too old for this#thanks kid#romance books#historical romance
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youre looking pretty snassy today
merry crisis
merry krismas
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