#thank you for sending the ask ella! <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[its-tortle]

❤️‍🩹

Ooh, can I fall asleep and feel you for a minute? Can I take my broken heart and let you heal it?

send me an emoji and i'll tell you what song it reminds me of!

[ekkoh]

I know u didn't ask but Drifting Away and Ultimately by khai dreams are 100% Gwiles, it's like they're singing to each other 😭

YOURE SO RIGHT NONNIE AHHHH i just listened to both songs and i am… inconsolable. “now i just want me and you to watch the sunset / just soak in the view and if it’s all just a dream / then i don’t ever wanna wake up.” WHAT??? the scene where they’re sitting upside down and watching nyc together??? “so for now we’ll say goodbye although it pains me in my heart.” WHEN SHE SAYS GOODBYE WHILE HE’S INVISIBLE AND HE SAYS GOODBYE TO HER ON THE TRAIN?? this is so them it’s actually insane.

[13uswntimagines]

3 More Days (Alessia X Leah X Child!R)

part of the Big Emotions Universe. Set before Big Emotions and Cookies for Luck

Summary: It's your first World Cup. Your first time in Australia, and the first time you ever had to be away from your Mama thanks to the stupid FIFA rules. The truth is that neither of you are dealing with the separation well. You just need to make it 3 more days.

warnings: none. soft angst if you squint, otherwise it's just a cute kidfic.

You decided you did not like Australia. 

You didn’t care if they had cute koalas, and a super cool aquarium, and people with cooler accents. 

You didn’t care that Uncle Luca had taken you to meet a turtle named Irwin, or that he let you and Squirt pick out a new stuffed octopus friend (you and Squirt hadn’t decided on a name yet). 

Australia was mean. Your mama was mean. 

The stupid soccer rules that said you couldn’t stay in the shiny hotel with her were mean. 

All of her teammates were mean. 

You did not like Australia. 

You frowned at the field, wiggling in your seat as the keepers jogged out of the tunnel for warmups. 

You decided you did not like the World Cup either. 

“Why the long face Tiny?” Uncle Luca asked you, adjusting your turtle jacket. 

Your shoulders lifted and fell, and a little crinkle appeared between your eyebrows as Mary took her place in the goal in front of you. “No wike it,”

He hugged you, lifting you from your seat into his lap. “What don’t you like?” 

You leaned back into his chest. Your little shoulders shrugged again. “No wike it,” 

“Ok,” He sighed. “Do you want a cookie? So Mama has good luck against Australia?”

He pulled a small chocolate-covered cookie out of your turtle backpack, offering it to you. 

Your nose scrunched as you pushed it away. “No wan it,”

You didn’t care that it was your favorite, the one with oranges in the middle. You didn’t want your mama to have good luck. 

You just wanted to not be in Australia. 

You wanted to be back in your apartment that Leah sometimes visited. 

You wanted to not have to say bye to your Mama after the game. 

“Alright tiny,” He said, slipping the cookie back into your backpack, and pulling you closer to him. “Hey look, Mama is coming,”

He hoped that seeing Alessia would pull you out of your funk. 

You had been… moody, even for a 2-year-old, ever since you landed in Australia. You hadn’t been able to fly with the team, but Alessia and Luca ensured you got to see your Mama daily. And the days you couldn’t, Uncle Luca and Nona did their best to distract you with trips to places like the Aquarium, the Zoo, and the beach. 

It seemed to work at first, but with each passing day, your smile dimmed, and your interest in their planned activities dwindled. 

Even your favorite pastime, watching your mama play soccer, didn’t pique your interest. 

Your eyes followed his hand, watching with halfhearted care as your mama finally emerged from the tunnel, chatting with your Aunt Ella and Lucy. 

You waited for her to look up. 

To wave to you like she always did. 

But she didn’t. 

You sunk back into Luca, your gaze drifting away from your mama, and towards Mary just as she dove for a save. 

She caught the ball easily, rolling her shoulders as she stood, and glancing back towards the crowd who cheered behind her. She smiled when she saw your tiny form bundled in Luca’s lap, sending a wave your way. 

You brightened considerably, lifting your hand in response, and nudging Luca. 

“Mazza,” You mumbled, pointing towards the keeper. 

“She’s pretty good, isn’t she?”

You blinked toward the new voice, taking in the sight of your second favorite person. 

“Leah!”

You launched yourself towards the defender, uncaring of the fact that she was still on crutches. The force would have knocked her over had she not been standing against the guardrail. 

“Hey Bug,” She said as you buried yourself in her neck, clutching her England jersey like you thought she would disappear. 

Things had been difficult since she had torn her ACL and hadn’t been able to visit you and your Mama as much as she liked.

Her rehab was difficult and consumed her. It was why Alesia’s brother and mother had been tasked with caring for you during the tournament. 

“Hey,” You mumbled back, keeping yourself tucked into her neck. “No go? Stay now?”

“Yeah Bug, I’m going to stay and watch the game with you,” She promised, rubbing your back. “We’re going to watch your Mama win,” 

She shifted, settling into the chair next to your Uncle, and pulling you into her lap. You didn’t look up, ignoring when she waved towards your Mama and received a wave back in return. 

You missed how Alessia stared at the two of you, and the unspoken conversation that passed between them. 

The continuation of the conversations they had been having since before you left for Australia, and Fifa had announced the rules that banned children from the team hotels. Since Serina had reached out to make sure that You would be taken care of during the tournament. 

A conversation that both women knew wasn’t over yet. 

But warmups were not the time to continue it. 

********

Leah was worried. 

More than worried. 

You were normally like a ray of sunshine. You followed a game with rapt attention, cheering, and booing like it was in your blood. You waved at the players you knew and got excited when they waved back, especially if it was mid-match. 

Today, you just… didn't. 

You seemed wilted. Tired. 

You barely peeked out of her chest, even after the game had started. 

“Hey look, they’re getting ready for a corner,”  Leah said, bouncing you a bit as the teams set up in front of you. 

You glanced up at her, both eyebrows raised. “Flying header?” 

“Maybe,” Leah hummed, running a hand through your wild curls. “You’d have to watch to see,” 

Your nose scrunched immediately. 

“No wike it,” You grumbled, pressing yourself impossibly closer to Leah’s chest. 

“What don’t you like bug?” She asked you, trying to coax you out of your hiding place. 

“Elle is going to take the kick,” Luca added, nudging your arm, trying to get you to look. 

You didn’t.

You whined loudly, clutching Leah’s jersey impossibly tighter in your little fingers. 

They shared a look. 

You were not a winy child. 

You didn’t generally get fussy unless you were tired or sick. 

“Ok bug,” Leah sighed as Elle lined up for the kick, raising her hand as the rest of the team jockeyed for position in front of goal. “It’s all ok,” 

Elle’s foot hit the ball with a low thump, sending it flying in a perfect arch towards your Mama’s waiting head. 

All it took was a perfect flick, and it was in the back of the net. 

Alessia’s eyes immediately found the two of you as the stadium erupted. 

She expected you and Leah to be cheering too. For you to be clapping and happy like you normally were any time she scored. 

Instead, your face was buried in Leah’s neck, Lucas's hand rubbing your back. 

She frowned, raising her eyebrow towards the pair. 

Leah shrugged, rocking you gently. 

Neither of them knew exactly what had upset you. Only that you apparently didn’t want or like whatever it was. 

“Mama scored!” Luca cheered, rubbing your back more insistently. 

You turned your head to blink at him. 

“No want it,” You mumbled miserably, a contrast to the excitement still buzzing around you. 

Leah sighed, gently scratching the back of your head. “I know bug. It’s ok,”

“Nooo!” You screeched, shaking your head, because she didn’t know. No one knew, and no one was doing anything about it. 

They just kept telling you that it was ok. 

It wasn’t ok. 

“Ok, let’s take a walk tiny,” Luca scooped you out of Leah’s arms easily, already sensing the impending meltdown. “I think I saw a cool turtle shirt and a snack,” 

It was becoming a twisted routine of sorts. You becoming frustrated and overstimulated, and Luca would take you for a walk to try and distract you from the big feelings you didn’t have words to explain. 

Your hands twisted in his shirt and you tucked yourself into him, quieting more quickly than Leah thought you would. 

“Nack,” You repeated. 

“Yeah, let’s go get a snack,” Luca said, bouncing you gently. “We’ll bring one back for Leah too,”

He winked at the defender, as he headed up the stairs towards the concessions, and you peeked over his shoulder at her as he carried you away. 

She sent you a little wave, smiling slightly when you waved back. 

She hoped that things would look up for you now that she was here. She was by no means Alessia, but she had integrated nicely into your life since they had started dating (and she hoped the upcoming move to London would only strengthen the relationship you shared). 

Hopefully, the familiarity and the plan her and Alessia had made would help to pull you out of your funk.

*******

“Hey love,”  Leah sent Alessia a wide smile as she approached the Friends and Family section.

The game had ended in a neat 3-1 victory and Alessia had completed her mandatory lap around the field with the team. 

Normally you liked to join her, holding her hand and playing with your aunts, but you hadn’t been waiting at the rail behind the bench with Luca like usual. She noticed that you hadn’t even been in the friends and family section. 

Leah wrapped her in her arms as soon as Alessia helped her down onto the field. “Your goal was fantastic,”

“Thanks,” Alessia’s smile was half-hearted, exhaustion clear in her blue eyes as she supported the blonde who was still mom weight-bearing on her leg. “Where’s Bug?”

“Your brother disappeared with her to find a snack before halftime, and they haven’t come back yet,” Leah said, glancing in the direction the two of you had gone. “She’s having a hard time,” 

Alessia followed her eyes with a sigh. “Beyond,” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so sullen,”

“It’s only getting worse, I think,” Alessia ran a frustrated hand through her hair, tugging lightly on her ponytail. “I don’t know how to fix it,”

Alessia had always been an incredibly involved parent. She had raised you herself, with a little help from Luca and her parents. She wasn’t used to being away from you for the night, much less days on end. 

It broke her heart each time you cried when she had to say goodbye. And it killed her how you had retreated back into yourself with each passing day. 

You had even started refusing phone calls with her so she could read you your bedtime stories. 

It was clear that the Fifa restrictions were taking their toll on both of you, but she felt powerless to stop it. 

Even Serina hadn’t been able to get her an exception. 

Leah caught her hand, pulling it to her chest and drawing all of Alessia's attention back to her. The striker met the defender’s eyes, and warmth leached into her chest. It was something bright and safe. 

It was the thing that had made Alessia fall in love with her to begin with. The thing that had allowed your mama to feel comfortable enough with Leah to introduce her to you. 

“We’ll figure it out together,” Leah said,  her voice sure and soothing. It made Alessia believe her. “I’m here to help,”

Alessia let out a shaky breath. “I don’t like being away from her,”

Leah pulled her closer, and she buried her face in Leah’s neck much like you did. “I know. We’ve only got one more game, and then we will be bringing the World Cup home,”

“Three more days, and then the FIFA rules don’t apply,” Alessia agreed, letting Leah’s words calm her. “We can make it 3 more days,” 

“We can make it 3 more days,” Leah said, kissing Alessia’s forehead, just as Luca appeared with you at the top of the stairs. “Between Me, you, and Luca, she’ll make it 3 more days too,” 

Alessia pulled away, glancing up the stairs. Her breath caught again when she saw you, clutching Squirt, a dark blue stuffed octopus and her brother for dear life at the top of the stairs. 

You didn’t look out from your hiding place in his chest as she carefully made his way towards them. 

She pulled away from Leah when he got to the rail, making sure she was stable on her crutches before reaching for you. 

“Hey cuddle bug,” She sent you a blinding smile, reaching out for you. “Do you want to come down to the field?”

You peeked out at her as if you were contemplating the decision. You had never not willingly gone to her before. 

It took you a long second before you shook your head and tucked yourself back into Luca’s chest. “No like it,”

Her shoulders drooped, and she had to fight to keep the corners of her lips from turning down. “Alright,” 

It was like a dagger in her chest, deflating her and sending a sinking feeling through her stomach. It was a feeling of total failure. 

She had failed you, and you didn’t want to go to her. 

It was like an invisible wall of glass had erupted between you. Like there was a barrier she didn’t know how to pass keeping you from her. It was like she was the polar bear in the zoo that you had been too terrified to look at. 

Leah rubbed her back, and Luca bounced you lightly, sending her a sympathetic look. 

They just had to make it 3 more days. 

She just hoped you could both hold on that long. 

[love-belle]

por siempre, mi amor !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they're the unproblematic couple of formula one.

or

for when you find your forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // fernando alonso x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - had this one in my drafts for days now, i really hope u like it!!! second part of used to love you ( my danny fic ) will be posted soon so if you'd liked me to tag you, just send me an ask or message or reply to that post wtv works!!! anyways, thank u so much for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, fernandoalo_official and 71 others

yourusername almost adopted another puppy but i knew nando wouldn't agree

28 comments

pierregasly adopt one anyway

-> yourusername maybe i should

-> fernandoalo_official y/n no

carlossainz55 missing you around the paddock!!!

-> yourusername see you soon carlitos!!!

lewishamilton roscoe needs a new friend

*liked by yourusername*

lilymhe DO IT

*liked by yourusername*

fernandoalo_official y/n, mi amor, please don't

-> yourusername fine

-> fernandoalo_official really?

-> yourusername no

landonorris DO IT WE CAN NAME IT NANDOS

-> yourusername LMFAOAOOA I LOVE THAT

-> fernandoalo_official NO

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, carmenmmundt and 715,428 others

fernandoalo_official estas flores necesitaban sol, así que ella era la elección obvia ( these flowers needed sunshine so she was the obvious choice )

tagged yourusername

username STOP IM CRYINF

username will never get over nando calling her sunshine

username sobbing fr

danielricciardo the most sunshine-y sunshine

*liked by fernandoalo_official*

username THEY'RE SO IN LOVE I COULD THROW UP

username parents fr

charles_leclerc 🤍

*liked by fernandoalo_official*

username sunshine x grumpy is so them

username SJAKSHDJAKSJSKSKS

yourusername te amo mi sol ❤️

-> fernandoalo_official te amo mucho ❤️

yourusername thank you for getting me the entire flower shop but i hope you know it's up to you to carry them home

-> fernandoalo_official cualquier cosa por ti ❤️ ( anything for you )

username he's so soft for her like

username i need this omg

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by fernandoalo_official, lilymhe, maxverstappen1 and 87 others

yourusername all's well that ends well to end up with you ❤️‍🩹

tagged fernandoalo_official

34 comments

lilymhe the cutest couple!!

-> yourusername we love you lily 🫶🏼

charles_leclerc you're the only one he ACTUALLY smiles at, we just get the -_- face

-> fernandoalo_official it's because i like her

-> landonorris woah nando ok.

-> lewishamilton breaking my heart over here man

-> pierregasly we see how it is

-> danielricciardo oh my god

-> fernandoalo_official los odio a todos iguales ( i hate all of you equally )

-> yourusername mi amor be nice ( my love )

fernandoalo_official everything made sense with you ❤️

-> yourusername i love you ❤️

carlossainz55 please come and see him as soon as possible, he gets really grumpy

-> fernandoalo_official i do not

-> yourusername sure i believe you!!!!!!!!!!!!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, carmenmmundt and 775,628 others

fernandoalo_official por siempre, mi amor ( forever, my love )

tagged yourusername

comments are disabled for this post

[topguncortez]

Are You With Me | | Chapter 3

previous part | masterlist | next part

synopsis: Jake and Y/N fight over the hospital bill and whether its a good idea to keep the kids on Jake's insurance or night. Jake still has issues with Miles. Ella makes a decision in the course of her treatment.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: medical inaccuracies, divorce, fighting, cursing, childhood cancer, mentions of childhood death

Jake had made a joke once that Eli was the cheapest baby they had. Said joke had earned him a glare that was fierce enough to send a shiver down his spine. Y/N had mastered the “mom eye” after having two kids.

But, even though Jake’s joke was done in poor timing, he was right. Having a baby, although not planned one bit, at home had saved them quite a bit of money. Jake had always found it comical that he was the best of the best. The 1% of the 1% and had some of the worst health care coverage in the whole United States.

“I feel like I need to take a loan out to pay these,” Jake rubbed his forehead, slipping his glasses off his face.

It was one of the rare moments that Jake and Y/N were both at the house. Y/N spent the day with Ella while Jake was at work and Alex was at school. Between Penny and Y/N’s mother Clara, they watched Eli for a couple of hours. Jake would then come to the hospital at night, staying with Ella while Y/N went home and made dinner and got the boys to bed. The Daggers had created a weekend schedule, each of them taking a saturday or sunday to stay with Ella so Jake and Y/N could both go home and recharge.

Though being at home was more stressful than watching their four year old getting pumped with toxins.

“Is that the bill?” Y/N asked as she walked into the kitchen after putting the boys down. She filled the tea kettle and set it on the burner, before pouring Jake a drink and taking it to him

“The first one, yeah,” Jake wiped a hand down his face, “Thanks,” He mumbled taking the rocks glass from her, “The ER visit cost thirty-three hundred dollars and insurance is only covering three hundred of it. The estimated total cost of care is around sixty-one thousand dollars.”

“Well,” Y/N swallowed, “I can always put Ella on my insurance. I get good-”

“No,” Jake sneered, “We agreed when we… we agreed when we divorced I would put the kids on my insurance plan because it’s cheaper.”

“Yes, but if this means compromising Ella’s care-“

“It’s not compromising anything!” Jake snapped causing Y/N to jump a bit in her seat. He scrubbed a hand down his face, “You got the kids and the house and everything else in the divorce. Let me help do this.”

Y/N nodded her head, “Fine,” She sighed, “We still have the rainy day fund.”

“Still not even going to make a dent in the payments,” Jake leaned back in his chair, “I’m tired of talking about this. How was Ella today?”

“Same as always,” Y/N shrugged, “Was fine in the morning before chemo, napped all afternoon and then threw up everything she ate. Her hair is becoming more of an issue for her… it’s becoming more noticeable.”

Ella’s hair had started to fall out as the weeks of chemo continued on. Jake and Y/N didn’t have the heart to shave it or cut it before Ella started therapy, wanting her to have the ability to make that decision for herself. But as the treatments went on, Ella’s confidence began to fade with each clump of hair that fell.

“Maybe we should just shave it,” Jake suggested as the tea kettle rang.

Y/N poured herself a mug, “No. She’s already losing so much autonomy over her own body. She should be the one who decides on her hair.”

“I hate to see her like that.”

“We all do,” Y/N took a sip of her tea, “But she was happy that Rooster and Dragon got to stay with her. Dragon mentioned something about watching Dateline.”

Jake chuckled, “Going to teach our four year old how to commit murder and get away with it.”

“She’s been stealing cookies and getting things she wants outta you since she was born.”

Jake couldn’t help it, he was a sucker for those big green eyes.

Silence fell over the two of them. It was moments like these where things almost felt normal between Jake and Y/N. Like the past two years had been a fever dream. That they had never spent a day apart. But then reality settled back in, and the awkwardness filled the air.

“I’m going to bed,” Y/N said, clearing her throat, “I put clean towels back in the guest room.”

“Thank you,” Jake nodded his head, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Night, Jake.”

— — —

When Ella was born, she had a full head of dark curly hair. Y/N knew that she was going to have hair from all the heartburn she had experienced through the whole nine months. In fact, that was the first thing the doctor had called out in the middle of delivering the Seresin girl.

“oh gosh! she’s got a full head of hair!”

Y/N had always dreamed of having a little girl with gorgeous long hair, and she had been lucky to get just that. She couldn’t wait until Ella was old enough to sit up and her hair long enough that she could braid it and style it. Ella always had perfectly done hair when Y/N dropped her off for daycare. Ella liked to show off her matching bows or the intricate braid that her mother did to her classmates and teacher.

Miles had told them one of the most common side effects of chemotherapy was the loss of hair. Y/N thought maybe, just maybe, Ella wouldn’t lose her hair. They had gotten through the first week of treatment without any hair loss. But then week two rolled around, and it was the worst week of Ella Seresin’s life.

“Mommy! My hair!” Ella cried as she stood fresh out of the shower, with a clump of hair in her hands. Y/N did all she could to try and soothe her child as she pulled on the ends of her hair, more stands coming out.

“I know, baby,” Y/N fought back tears, “I know. It’ll be okay.”

For weeks, Y/N and Jake watched as Ella’s hair grew thinner and thinner. They switched from using a brush to using a wide tooth comb, hoping to save some of the frail strands of hair on her head. Ella knew that most kids on the floor didn’t have hair or wore fake hair. She knew that eventually, she would look like them.

“Do you want strawberry or cherry jello for lunch?” Y/N asked as she looked over the hospitals menu choices for today. Y/N wasn’t sure if it was because of stress but the hospital food wasn’t actually that bad. Plus, Val had kept Ella’s room stacked with snacks.

“Mommy,” Ella said.

“Yes, baby?” Y/N asked, putting the menu down and looking at her daughter, “What’s up, buttercup?”

“I want to cut my hair.”

“What?” Y/N was taken aback by her daughter’s words. Ella was wise beyond her years but this shocked Y/N to hear.

“I want to cut my hair. It keeps falling,” Ella said, touching her thinning hair.

Y/N nodded her head, “Of course, baby. We’ll do it tonight, when dad gets here. That sounds okay?” Ella nodded her head, a bright smile on her face, “Now, how about that jello.”

A couple of hours later, Jake was walking down the familiar bright colored walls of the children’s cancer ward. He always found it ironic that such a dark place was painted so brightly. Ella had only been there two months and already she had new neighbors on either side of her room. The cries of the parents haunted Jake at night and the images of little bodies being moved with sheets over their heads was enough to bring Jake to a panic. However, every time Jake walked closer to Ella’s door he was met with the beautiful sound of laughter. 

A smile graced Jake’s lips as he heard Ella’s laugh and that familiar snort that always made her laugh harder. But the moment he opened the door, his smile dropped. 

“Doctor Miles.” 

“Daddy!” Ella cheered and sat up in her bed, reaching out for her father. 

Jake walked over to her, greeting her with a hug and kissing her forehead, “How are you, bug?” 

“I’m good,” Ella nodded her head, laying back in her bed, “Doctor Miles is playing Bluey with me.” 

“I see that,” Jake looked over at Miles who was standing in the corner of the room now, “Where is Mommy?” 

“Sent her for a snack,” Miles answered, “She’s looking like the walking dead.” 

“Can we refrain from making death jokes?” Miles held back from rolling his eyes, “I’m here now, so you can go.” 

“I said I would wait here with Ella until-” 

“I’m her father and I say-” 

“You say nothing,” Y/N said, appearing in the doorway, “Thank you, Miles.” 

Miles nodded his head, “No problem, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow, Ella, good job today.” He held his hand out for the little girl to give him a high five. 

Y/N waited a moment until Miles was out of the room before looking at Jake, “Really?” 

Jake just shrugged, “I had it under control.” 

“I’m sure,” Y/N sighed, walking over to Ella’s bed. The little girl curled up next to her mother almost instantly, “Do you want to tell your daddy what you want to do today?” Ella nodded her head and then looked at Jake. 

“I want to cut my hair.” 

Jake’s eyes widened as he looked from Ella to Y/N, “You do?” Ella nodded her head again. 

“The nurses brought some clippers and stuff earlier. I-I’ve never cut anyone’s hair so I-”

“I got it,” Jake answered, “I was cuttin’ boys’ hair in the bay at boot camp.” 

 “Okay,” Y/N said, feeling the familiar burn of tears in her eyes, “You ready, Elles?” 

“Yes!” Ella said, a bright smile on her face. 

Both Y/N and Jake walked with Ella to the bathroom where a nurse had brung in clippers, scissors, a razor, shaving cream and a step stool. Ella stepped up on the stool, looking at herself in the mirror that was covered with pink and purple flowers. Y/N leaned against the doorway, watching as Jake got everything set up, occasionally making funny faces in the mirror to make Ella laugh. 

“Gonna start now, are you sure this is what you want?” Jake asked his daughter. Ella nodded her head, “Okay. Here we go.” Both Y/N and Jake took a deep breath as he grabbed a lock of Ella’s hair and lifted the scissors. The sound of the shears closing together made the loudest sound Y/N had ever heard as a lock of brown went tumbling down to the ground. 

“You cut it!” Ella gasped. Jake’s heart pounded in his chest, then it relaxed as her giggles filled the room, “Do it again!” 

Jake looked at his wife through the mirror, seeing her red eyes but the smallest smile on her face, “Let’s keep going.” 

After every snip of the scissors, Ella giggled which made the whole situation somewhat better. Eventually Jake got to the point where he had to use the clippers. He gently moved them over her head, watching as the final pieces of hair fell from her head. 

“What do you think?” Jake asked, as he set the razor down in the sink. It was quiet for a moment as Ella looked herself over in the mirror. 

“My head is cold,” She said. 

Y/N chuckled as she stepped into the bathroom, walking up behind her daughter, “We’ll get you a hat or two or-” 

“Three!” Ella held up three fingers. Ella turned to face her mom, “Momma, don’t cry.” 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Y/N said, as Ella wiped a finger away from her cheek, “How about we take a shower and then watch a disney movie?” 

“Princess and The Frog! Daddy! Will you stay?” 

Y/N looked at Jake, who was cleaning up the hair around the bathroom, “Yeah. Of course. Let me finish cleaning this up, and I'll sneak down to the nurses lounge to make popcorn.” 

“Thank you,” Y/N said, sincerity in her voice, “Let’s get cleaned up, Elles.” 

A strange feeling settled over Jake’s chest as he watched his wife and daughter. A strange feeling that maybe, just maybe. . . things will be alright.

taglist: @yanna-banana @kmc1989 @soulmates8 @averyhotchner @fandom-life-12 @jazminlahey20 @jessicab1991 @reidshearts @princess76179 @dizzybee03 @dempy @kellyls04 @daddymack01 @beautifulandvoid @noonenuts @bradleybeachbabe @its-the-pilot @buckysteveloki-me @shibble @a-library-ofmy-own @fanfictionismyhobby @emilyoflanternhill @seitmai @moonlessnight14 @hardballoonlove @sgt-barnesveins @vhkdncu2ei8997 @1nterstellarcha0s @krispybearbouquet @a-serene-place-to-be @seresinslady @na-ta-sh-aa @milestomaverick @itsmytimetoodream @topgunslut @yuckosworld @angelbabyange @pedrohoe04 @midnightmagpiemama @lynnevanss @ummjustfics @thegoddessc @mrsevans90 @mjsvinyl @luversgirl @silenthappyplace @buckysvinyl

taglist form

[starstruckunknown-princess]

Snowdrop - Bruce Wayne x Reader (Aka Snapdragon Pt 2)

Snowdrop (Galanthus) - Meaning: Consolation, Hope

Summary: Following your accusation of cheating, Bruce shares his biggest secret with you. Read Part 1 Here (but can be read on its own)

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x F!Reader

Word Count: 2450

Warnings: Angsty, mix of Nolan/2022 The Batman universes, kisses, lots of lingering touches but Bruce is nervous as hell, Alfred being a bit of a mother hen, mentions of Bruce's parents' death, mentions of danger

So this is my apology for cutting my 30 days down to 25 and leaving y'all hanging. I got sick and started a new job at the end of April so I've been busy! I'm thinking this might turn into a mini series or a bunch of headcanons because I just watched The Batman again and I want to love all over this sad, wet cat.

In Bloom Masterlist

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are SUPER appreciated! <3

The private car pulled up outside Wayne Manor, Bruce having sent it to your office. You thanked the driver — noticeably not Alfred, much to your dismay — when he opened your door and helped you out. 

You looked up at the Gothic mansion. The weather perfectly complimented the sharp finials and fanciful turrets, dark clouds threatening rain looming behind it.

You couldn’t help but feel it was an omen of some kind. 

‘We need to talk.’

Bruce’s text from that morning (five thirty to be precise, who even gets up that early?) had your stomach in knots all day while you obsessed over the meaning behind his vagueness. Would it be a Good Talk? The kind that meant he was surprising you with a two-week-no-phones trip to a private tropical island so you could reconnect with each other? Part apology trip, part reassurance. 

Or was this a Bad Talk? He was stunned last night when you’d asked if he was cheating but he never actually answered the question. Maybe tonight he would explain that yes, he was cheating but not because he didn’t love you — he was just not cut out for monogamy. In which case you would be okay, but you’d definitely need to talk about boundaries and expectations. Or maybe he was so rankled by your accusation he would sulk all through dinner, then hand you a bag of all the things you’d left at his place and send you on your way. 

Due to the earliness of the text, you’d had all day to prepare for the worst case scenario. Squaring your shoulders, you walked up the stone steps to the front door. Before you could knock, Alfred had whipped the tall wooden doors open and ushered you inside. 

“Come in, come in, Miss! Don’t want to get caught in the rain, do we?” He took your coat and work bag, tucking them over his arm. “Master Wayne is waiting for you in the study while I finish up dinner. You can go on up, third door on the left, remember?” 

“Thanks, Alfred,” you replied, the butler disappearing as you mounted the massive main staircase. In no particular rush, you sauntered down the long spacious corridor, lined on both sides by paintings that cost more than you made in five years. The value of this hallway alone was more money than you’d probably ever see in your lifetime. Just outside the study, you paused in front of one of your favorites. 

A 19th-century piece by Turner, it depicted a ship lost in a storm. Thick swaths of violent black and blue, a shocking splash of amber in the center around the only recognizable part of the ship — the mast — which dipped at a dangerous angle. You felt like that boat right now. Tossed and turned about, a helpless casualty to an apathetic universe.

But calm seas never did make skilled sailors, and a skilled sailor knew that the only way out was through. With a steadying breath, you continued your way toward the study and entered. 

An Ella Fitzgerald song played lowly on the speakers, the fire was lit and cast a warm, comforting glow on the dark furniture. Across from you, silhouetted in the giant picture window, Bruce stood with his back to you. The urge to go over and wrap your arms around his waist, hug him from behind and bury your face between his shoulders was almost overwhelming until you remembered why you were there. 

“Bruce,” you said by way of announcing yourself. He turned then, blue eyes finding you instantaneously and he set down the whiskey glass he’d been holding. He looked tense, broad shoulders rigid atop a ramrod-straight spine, his gaze unwavering and unreadable. 

“I haven’t been cheating on you,” he said, glancing away before continuing, “but I haven’t been honest with you either. 

“Oh,” you breathed, unsure of what to do. This was strange — he was acting strange. He hadn’t offered you a drink, hadn’t greeted you, hadn’t even said your name. Your hands fidgeted restlessly — should you demand an explanation or keep your cool, wait for him to tell you? 

Bruce answered your unasked question for you. 

“Before I tell you I need you to know some things. First and foremost, I love you. I know my reputation as a playboy, but that’s…never really been me. And I know the press thinks we’re mismatched but they couldn’t be more wrong, okay? You are incredible and I wake up more and more in love with you. Even if —” he paused, gathered himself, “even if after I tell you, you never want to see me again. I will always love you.” 

Your knees shook — your entire body felt like jello. What he was going to tell you must be really, really bad. “I-I love you too, Bruce.”

He approached you then, apparently noticing the tremor in your voice. You let him take your trembling hand and lead you to the long leather couch by the fireplace. He looked so unlike himself — humbled and insecure where he was always calm and confident. Whatever he had to tell you, it was life-changing big.

The silver lining was that he wasn’t cheating on you. 

“Secondly,” he said, his tone quieter now that you sat side-by-side, him angling to face you, “is that this secret is…it’s dangerous. It could potentially put a target on your back if it ever came to light, so I’m giving you a choice. I will tell you if you want to know, or we can forget about it and move on. Pretend this never happened.” 

What could be so dangerous? You wracked your brain for an answer. Was he a drug kingpin? A mob boss? Mercenary? You doubted all those options given how much money he donated to GCPD and legal advocacy groups — but what if that was just a smoke screen to cover his heinous crimes? 

On the other hand, this was Bruce. Thoughtful, kind, generous Bruce who held you so gently when you lay in bed at night, who pulled out chairs and opened doors and walked on the street side of you wherever you went. The man who loved you so fiercely he’d made you believe in the concept again. 

You couldn’t languish in the storm any longer. You had to know. 

“Tell me, Bruce,” you said, trying to keep your voice from shaking. “I want to know.” 

He nodded solemnly, some of his hair falling into his face. He led you off the couch and toward a corner of the library where he gently tilted a nondescript leatherbound book off the shelf, which opened a hidden door. “It’s easier if I show you first.” 

When he’d first brought you to the Manor, you’d asked if he had any secret doors or hidden passages, to which he said no. You’d then teased him about it, expressing your disappointment. “How do you not? Isn’t that the point of a house like this? Damn, rich people are so bad at being rich!” 

If you weren’t currently trying to keep your insides from completely liquefying, you would’ve rubbed his face in the fact that you’d been right after all. 

An old-fashioned cage elevator opened, and Bruce gestured you inside. He followed and pushed a lever down. The door creaked shut and you began your descent. Into what or where, you had no idea. 

Sensing your trepidation, Bruce rested a hand on your lower back.

You relaxed a little at his touch, leaning back into it but still needing to break the taut line of tension between you. “Oh god, this isn’t the secret entrance to your illegal blood diamond mine, is it?” 

Bruce chuckled mirthlessly, “No, it’s not an illegal blood diamond mine.” 

“Hm,” you replied, “Would’ve explained the boatloads of cash.” 

By the time you finished your comment, you’d arrived at the bottom of the elevator shaft. The door opened with a whine, and you stepped into a place you never thought you’d see. A place you hadn’t really thought about existing but made sense. 

The space around you was cavernous — literally. Craggy walls with stalactites hanging down forty feet above your heads. The fluttering of some sort of winged creature echoed off of every surface. The setting was completely incongruous to all the high tech monitors, gadgets, and surveillance gear strewn about the numerous surfaces. 

Directly in front of you, a mannequin wearing a black suit of armor that any Gothamite would recognize stared at you. 

Batman. 

You wandered closer to the suit, seeing it up close for the first time, utterly gobsmacked. You couldn’t ignore the numerous scars that littered Bruce’s torso, a few of the larger ones lined up with areas in the suit that had been repaired. Moving further into the room, you let your eyes travel over the various in-progress projects, folders with papers and news articles spilling out of them, a stack of journals. The top of which was labeled with the current month and year on the front. Organized chaos — you were surprised Alfred let this mess stand. 

You looked back over your shoulder, searching for confirmation from Bruce who hadn’t moved out of the elevator. Giving you time to roam, explore, take it all in. 

“You’re Batman,” you said. The look on Bruce’s face said it all and slowly, certain things began to make sense. Late night texts, oddly placed scars and bruises with vague or strange explanations, how good he was at not waking you when he left your apartment. How Batman had all the cool criminal-catching tech and gadgets that the Gotham police couldn’t afford. The nigh-on-impossible-to-scale walls Bruce had built around himself, his playboy persona, all of it. 

He wasn’t kidding when he’d told you this secret was dangerous. How easily all of this could unravel.

You didn’t know what to say. So many questions buzzed through your mind it made you dizzy. 

“Are you…okay? What do you think?” he asked, taking a few cautious steps out of the elevator toward you.

“I’m okay,” you said, fixing your eyes on a batarang on the table beside you, absentmindedly tracing the sharp edge with one finger. “It’s a lot to take in. I mean, I almost wish you had been cheating. At least that way I could be mad, but this?” You gestured around the cave. “I don’t know how to react. I’m…shocked, obviously, but it makes so much sense and explains so much more that I’m overwhelmed by it.” 

You didn’t know when the tears started, but Bruce was in front of you, wiping them away with his thumbs before gently tilting your face up to his. 

“Do you want to go back upstairs? Alfred’s probably got dinner all set, you can have some time to process, ask questions…” he trailed off. 

You nodded, “Yeah, upstairs sounds good.” 

The ride back up to the manor was silent except for the creaking and groaning of the elevator. Bruce’s arm was around your shoulder, providing warmth and comfort to your increasingly numb body and mind. 

You had no idea what to feel. What to think. What to say. Maybe Bruce was right and you needed to process — yeah, that felt right, process. 

Process the fact that the man you love went around Gotham at night beating the snot out of evildoers. Spent the nights he wasn’t with you hunting down corrupt cops and serial killers and masked madmen who only wanted to watch the city — your city — burn itself to ashes. 

The lengths men will go to to avoid therapy.

Bruce led you through the study and down the hall to the dining room, where Alfred had set up a romantic candlelight dinner for two at the far end of the extravagantly long table. 

Like the gentleman he was raised to be, Bruce pulled out your chair and pushed it in as you sat, leaning forward to place a tender kiss at the crown of your head before taking his seat. 

Hope flickered in his eyes as he looked at you, and you looked away. 

Alfred entered the room pushing a cart of silver-domed trays. One by one he pulled the domes off to reveal all of your favorite comfort foods. No doubt this was Bruce’s idea. He was thoughtful like that; figuring that you would want comfort food after learning his secret. 

That hopeful flicker lingered over every bite you took as you dug in. You hadn’t realized how famished you were, having skipped lunch due to the unease caused by his cryptic text.

While you ate, your mind kept mulling over the information you’d learned. With how intelligent and thoughtful he was, you knew Bruce had gone over every possible outcome of tonight, which is why you suspected he left the choice up to you on whether you wanted to know or not. He had laid his cards on the table, trusted you with his most life-shattering secret, and the next move was up to you. He wouldn’t force a reaction or response and would respect and accept whatever you decided to do.

But really, what was there to do? You loved him, possibly more so after this incredible display of trust. Vulnerability like this wasn’t easy for either of you, so really your reaction was already determined. 

When you finished eating, you put your napkin on your plate and stood up. You crossed to Bruce’s seat and curled yourself on his lap. Automatically, his arms encircled you and you rested your head on his chest, noting how quickly his heart beat. 

“Thank you for telling me,” you said, burrowing a little further into his well-worn t-shirt. “I’m not going anywhere, though. I love you too much to let you keep doing this alone.” 

You could feel the tension you’d noticed earlier leave his body even as his arms tightened around you, pulling you somehow closer. 

“You realize the risk you’re putting yourself in, right? I…if anything happened to you because of—”

You pulled your head up and looked him square in the eye. “I know the risk. You’re worth the risk. And if anything happens to me, I’ll just haunt the batcave and the manor so it’ll be like I never left.” You were half-joking, smiling at him as you ran a hand through his long raven locks. He leaned into your touch, eyes closed. 

“I just can’t lose you like I lost…” My parents. 

It was unsaid, but the meaning was there. In that moment it was impossible not to see him as a young boy, newly orphaned, wandering this enormous house alone, looking for his mother and father. 

You pulled his head toward yours and rested your forehead on his temple while you continued to stroke his hair. 

“You’ll never lose me, Bruce,” you vowed.

[skipper1331]

Surprise // Deyna Castellanos

a/n: based off this request.

"Did everything work? Are you on your way?" Alex asked your girlfriend.

The two of them came up with a plan to surprise you.

Ever since the World Cup started, you missed Deyna. Talking to her over the phone was just not it. Due to the time difference and your busy schedule, you only had little time for each other. Either it was for one of you early in the morning or late at night which made it difficult to have a real conversation. Most of the time it was just written messages that the other person would answer a few hours later. It was hard. You missed her so much.

Every time the lionesses would play she would send you a picture of her wearing your jersey and comment on the game. She knew you wouldn‘t answer because you were literally playing but it was important to her to let you know that she was supporting you.

"Yes, I’m at the airport" she replied, about to take a plane to Australia, to you. "Good. She‘s already in bad mood since you texted her that you‘ll be busy the whole day and won‘t have the time to text her," the defender explained, thinking back to the situation where she saw how your face fell as you read Deynas text, "i need to go but I’ll see you soon."

The call ended and about 20 minutes later, your girlfriend sat in the plane.

Your day went on without a single text from Deyna. She said she couldn't message you but you were still hoping for it. She didn‘t even say what she had to do.

You spent the day with the team, preparing for the upcoming game against Australia.

-

Standing in the tunnel about to play a World Cup semi final was a whole new experience. You were nervous but you wanted to win. You wanted to win for yourself, for the team, for your nation and most all for Alex and Lucy who never made it past the semifinals. You've known both of them for a while, played with them at City and for the lionesses. They were great players and role models, they deserved to make it to the final.

While walking out on the pitch your eyes were looking everywhere and nowhere. The stadium was full with yellow jerseys, supporting their home country. It was nice to see the matildas getting so much support but you were also grateful for the english fans who were there to do the same for you. It's great to play in your own country with a nation behind you. You had experienced the same thing last year at the home euros.

Deyna sat in the friends and family section with your jersey on as she watched you.

In the 36th Ella scored the opener but Sam Kerr equalized in the 63rd minute. The score 1-1, about half an hour left to play. Your girlfriend was nervous she wanted to see you win, to see you happy. England retained possession, little to no missed passes. Australia got hungry. They wanted to win as much as you did. You fought till the end, you wanted to help your team win.

You didn‘t know how you did it but as the long shot from Millie came to you, you tangled away from Ellie Carpenter who kind of stumbled away from you and then your foot hit the ball.

Goal! You scored in the semi final, making it 2-1 for England. Some team mates jumped on you while others hugged you, the bench going wild.

Your girlfriend cheered for you, celebrating with the english fans. There was only one task now: defend. And score If possible. Australia had their chances which stressed you out but you fought. When you had the ball you started running out of your own half, no one was attacking you. Before the australian defender could reach you, you passed to Alessia who then scored.

3-1

All England supportes celebrated while your team mates ran to the bench. You‘re feeling energetic.

Finally, the whistle blows - England made it. They‘re finalists, you‘re finalists.

Despite the win, the first thing you did was thank and comfort every opposing player. It was important to you. As you finished your conversation with the last australian you ran straight to Alex, jumping on her, your legs around her waist, "We did it!" you screamed. You felt so happy. As you celebrated with your friends you still had no idea your girl was in the stands.

Sarina held a little speech before everyone swarmed out "There‘s a suprise for you" Alex said while her arm was around your shoulders. "What‘re you talking about?" you looked at her confused.

"Look" she pointed her finger towards the stands, family and friends section, following her finger you saw it or rather her.

Deyna.

You looked at Alex, then back to Deyna. Was this real?

"Go!" Alex pushed you away from her, in the direction to the stands. Your legs started running, wanting to be close to your lover. When you were finally within reach, you wrapped your arms around her, your head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. "What‘re you doing here??" you asked, leaning back yet not letting her go.

"Surprise!"

With one quick motion, you pressed your mouth on hers. You hadn‘t seen her in weeks, couldn‘t feel her touch or anything. You just had to kiss her. "I missed you so much" you whispered between pecks, happy to feel your girlfriends touch.

Next stop: final

————————

[leclsrc]

feel like ur a master at these so, could i req carlos and nonsexual intimacy (fluffff!) thanks and happy new years <3 !

terribly late. so sorry! title from this.

you might be sleeping – cs55

Ten out of nine times you wake up, Carlos’ head is on your stomach. His hand, too, is splayed across it, hiking whatever shirt you wore to sleep upwards so skin touches skin, his to yours, flexing gently if he stirs, sending ticklish sensations across you. Sometimes, you gently pry him off (only to be yanked back into bed), other times you fall back asleep, hand threaded into his long hair.

Today, you watch. You’d fallen asleep way too early last night, and he’d come home a bit past midnight from a full day’s work and dinner, so your schedules didn’t coordinate. You wonder how he goes from lying on his back, arms crossed—the way he usually sleeps, like on planes or sofas—to fully engulfing you at some point of the night. His hand is big and warm against your bare stomach, stubble rubbing the skin there.

It should be boring, it should be draggy and slow and quiet, but waiting and watching him is anything but. From where you lie, you can’t see his face—half of it is burrowed into you anyway—but this is okay. You play with locks of his hair, stroke his back, until you’re either sleepy again or too restless to keep lying down. You rub the material of his nightshirt between two fingers, trying to identify the shirt and eventually remembering it as one of your gifts to him when you first started dating.

It’s horribly intimate, you think. You wonder how much of you he feels like this, even in sleep. If he feels your skin thrum, if he can hear your heart beat. His breath fans against your skin softly, and you wish this moment would never end. 

The doorbell rings, and you blink, attempting to pry yourself out of his tight grip. He groans, a long, drawn-out, bummed sound; he’s been jolted awake, so his sentences are short and a bit stilted, a mix of Spanish and English. “Oh,” he says, clearly delirious from sleep. “Espere, espere. Wait for me.”

“Can’t,” you say. “I think that’s mail.”

“Espera el correo?” He asks, eyes half-shut. You stifle a laugh at his evident confusion. “Wait for me, sweetheart.” You’re half-free, his hand still clinging to you. “Don’t go.”

“I’m just going to pick up the mail,” you say fondly, amused. He pauses, ceases his movements, then flops back onto the bed, nodding, murmuring something in Spanish again. Ella regresara, no se preocupe. You try your best not to laugh even harder, creeping out of bed and reattempting your beeline for the door. But he latches onto you again, pulls you gently beside him, and almost magnetically, his hand finds your stomach, wrapping around your waist.

His hand flexes, and he lets out a sigh as he emerges from sleep. “Don’t get up, I’ll do it.” He gets up sleepily, shuffling out the door and leaving you laughing. You hadn’t even asked him to—you were half sure he was 100% asleep again. But you watch him, still sleepy, put on slippers to retrieve the mail (mistaking yours for his, if the fluffy too-small pair of frilly slippers he’s wearing is anything to go by) and blow you a kiss before he climbs down the stairs.

“Thank you, mi amor!” You holler after him.

“When I get back,” he says, loud enough for you to hear, “you’re my pillow again.”

[elekinetic]

pov its december 1988 and the party is tipsy in the wheelers' basement

hello team! it is ella (formerly @nancysglock) here again with another script.

thank you to quinn for sending that ask yesterday. this was incredibly fun to write, and is my longest stranger things script to date (as well as the first one im releasing under my new url! exciting!

anyway. happy holidays gang <3

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 16

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 22.7k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Firstly, I wanted to thank you all for your patience and your support, but I still wanted to apologise again for taking so long to update. So much has happened in the past month but in between the tears and all the stress, I'm so happy to still find a comforting escape in writing. This one is a bit shorter than the last one but we're finally getting to those bits of the story that I wrote at the very beginning and I'm just stoked to finally dive into it in detail and with all that this story has come to be. Enjoy!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

(13/01/2014 06:43) I can't believe you're cheating on me like that and actually telling me...

Alex chuckled at her dramatics when he checked his phone about half an hour after he'd sent that first picture. It was a quick one he'd snapped of the set they were currently at, a big carpeted living room with Matt's drum kit settled at the very end of it, Nick's bass and Jamie's guitar in their stands on their usual places and a mic stand right in the middle where Alex was meant to stand.

There were clearly a few big lights on the sides of the room and a big camera on someone's hands just off frame that picked at Ella's curiosity when she opened the picture the second she woke up.

So she'd asked where he was and, about ten minutes later, Alex had so easily answered, 'Recording the Arabella music video x' that Ella's jaw dropped and she stood in shock for a fair few minutes before sending that dramatic text back.

Alex snickered to himself, and tuning out the way Jake instructed the crowd in the room around them for the next scene they were about to record, he kept his focus on his phone to continue chatting to Ella.

(13/01/2014 06:58) In my defense, we were told we had this arranged last week and there's nothing I could do about it x

(13/01/2014 06:59) Yeah, sure, that's what they all say.

(13/01/2014 06:59) Darling...

(13/01/2014 06:59) Alexander?

(13/01/2014 07:00) Stop. Not the full name :(

(13/01/2014 07:00) Yes, the full name because you've got some audacity Mister.

(13/01/2014 07:00) Are you angry at me? :(

(13/01/2014 07:01) It's not really your fault but it doesn't mean I'm not giving you the cold shoulder after this.

(13/01/2014 07:01) Ella! That's not fair :((

(13/01/2014 07:01) Yeah, well. Life isn't fair, is it?? Who is this director anyway? Better be a good one or else...

(13/01/2014 07:01) Jake Nava. I hope it's enough to never explore that 'or else' x

(13/01/2014 07:01) Fuck of!!!!! Jake Nava?!?!?!? As in Jake Nava who's directed a bunch of Beyonce and Britney Spears music videos?!?!?

(13/01/2014 07:02) I think so? They mentioned him working with Tina Turner and the Stones too x

(13/01/2014 07:02) Okay, yes. Fucking hell. Should've started with that Alex.

(13/01/2014 07:02) You're funny x

(13/01/2014 07:03) I can hear you rolling your eyes from here sweets x You're forgiven but you better make it up to me, I miss you xx

(13/01/2014 07:03) You know I already am trying to figure something out x We have another single that's missing a music video anyway so... Miss you too darling, so much xx

'Arabella' was the second to last single that was going to be put out by March before their last, 'Snap Out Of It', which had been chosen to be put out by the middle of the year. Now that the 'Arabella' music video had already been taken care of, Alex tried steering the band's team into calling for Focus Creeps' help for the music video for Snap.

It took some convincing, since the lads were still on tour until mid February where they'd have their last show somewhere in the Midwest of the States, but they figured the video could be conceptualized to be recorded without the need of the lads being there. The Brit Awards were just a couple days after the last show of the tour so, the band needed to be on British soil as soon as possible.

Ella and Ben had come up with a good idea for the video so that the lads were involved in the footage but not have to be present on set: they'd use the concept from the recording of AM and portray some sort of breakup scenario between the actress they'd have to hire for the job and Alex. That way, Domino Records could also use the video to announce the AM recording documentary coming out before the Australia/New Zealand tour in May.

Brilliant. It was really a brilliant idea but Alex needed to see her. There was no way he'd be able to hold up until June, when they'd headline Bonnaroo, for him to see Ella. Over six months was way too long and he needed to do something about it.

Alex managed to convince his manager, with just two weeks of anticipation before the day the music video was meant to be recorded, that going to Los Angeles to be present during the recording of the 'Snap Out Of It' was a good idea. He had already bought his ticket before getting the greenlight, thinking it would be fine if he just snuck away from his responsibilities for less than a full day.

Thankfully, after he got the approval, the days had seemed to fly by. Before he knew it, he was bidding farewell to the lively crowd of Saint Louis, Missouri and almost dashing off the stage just to make sure he was closer to seeing her soon.

The guys had laughed seeing him hastily walk away from them at the airport, rushing to get to the horrendously long security line at almost two in the morning whilst the lads took their time to go around the airport for some food and coffee since their flight wouldn't leave until a five in the morning.

The flight from Saint Louis to Los Angeles wasn't that long, merely four hours, but every minute seemed to elongate the more Alex stared at the clock as he waited for the rest of the passengers to board the plane. When they were finally up in the air, he found himself getting more nervous to see Ella again. In his head, he imagined himself flipping through the pages of the scrapbook she'd given him, the one that was in his suitcase so he couldn't exactly get it at that very moment.

Eventually, he fell asleep, all the energy that had lingered in his body after the show had run out and a few hours later, he was being woken up by the voice of the pilot announcing they'd be landing shortly.

Eight in the morning in LAX was an absolute headache, especially avoiding the paparazzi that seemed to perpetually find their places around the arrivals gate, and getting a damn taxi, but he would carry the burden of it all since it meant he was closer to surprising Ella. She had no idea he was coming, he had purposely kept that to himself but he'd had to tell Ben so that he could give him the address for the house they were filming at.

He hated that he couldn't properly stay, not when the Brits were due in three days and they had to rehearse for their presentation. His manager had already warned him against suddenly staying and missing the event; it would look bad if they pulled out of their spot in the show at the last minute, especially when they were nominated for multiple awards.

His flight back to London was later that night, meaning he'd only be able to stay to see Ella and Ben recording the video and then he'd have to go back to the airport. He hoped that by the time he had to go, the video was wrapped up and Ella could have some time with him—even if it was just to say a proper goodbye.

Twenty minutes after walking out through the arrivals gate, he got picked up by a taxi and the drive over to the set was meant to be about forty minutes long. It ended up being over an hour thanks to Los Angeles traffic, which was weird for it being Sunday morning, but not surprising nonetheless.

Ben opened the back door for Alex and after a quick greeting, the singer carefully carried his case up the concrete stairs and into the house, setting it down softly in a corner of the kitchen so that no one heard him coming in. He wished he had recorded it all because when Ella turned around, once Ben had walked back into the living room where everything was set up, and saw Alex, she shrieked and ran towards him.

"What are you doing here?!" She said quickly and breathlessly, like the impact from crashing into his chest and being wrapped in his arms had stolen all the oxygen from her lungs.

He couldn't even find words, not when his smile was so big on his face now that he had her in his arms again. She pulled back, her eyes swimming all over his face as if to make sure he was real, her hands clutching onto his shoulders tightly.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here?" She whispered this time, entirely in shock of it all.

"I had to make it up to you." He shrugged nonchalantly, but the glimmer in his eyes showed the intent behind his presence there.

She smiled brightly, her eyes creasing at the corners in a way that had Alex swooning, "Oh you sure did."

Ella leaned in quickly to press a kiss on his cheek, his eyes closing instantly in bliss at the feeling of her lips on his skin, and then she let go of him because catching a glimpse of Ben standing there with a massive smirk on his face reminded her of the amount of people present in the room and watching their interaction.

"Alright, back to work everyone!" She clapped her hands twice to get everyone's focus away from what had just happened and to lighten the mood and avoid any questions, she joked,  "Boss is here now, gotta make sure it's perfect for him." Cheekily, she turned slightly to look at Alex and winked before turning back to Lydia and going back to work.

Before going back to the scene they'd been shooting, Ella introduced Alex to Stephanie Sigman who was playing the main girl in the music video. They laughed about the state in which she was while meeting the singer, clad in just a pencil skirt and a lace bralette with her makeup all purposely ruined from the tears she'd been uncontrollably shedding for the video.

Alex stepped back and admired Ella and Ben working their magic, appreciating every bit of her concentration and mentally pointing out the little quirks she had as she worked that he'd managed to catch throughout the years.

His smile didn't leave his face the whole time, even more so when he watched the multiple clips Ella had gotten of them recording the album playing on the TV. His stomach doing somersaults inside him when he saw how he smiled at Ella behind the camera in those clips, and he was almost sure that if anyone saw him right then, they would've found him blushing and grinning like an absolute fool.

He was a mess for her, always had been. And that became even clearer to him each day.

An hour must've gone by and Alex was entirely entranced by Ella. He'd felt someone's stare burning on the skin of the side of his neck and when he turned to see who it was, he found Ella's PA, Lydia, staring at him. Only giving her an embarrassed smile back, he prayed she hadn't noticed the way he couldn't peel his gaze off Ella.

He'd gone a bit further away from where everything was set up so that Lydia couldn't catch him again, and he grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen counter to appear casual as he continued watching the crew work.

It was a task tuning his own voice out as time passed, as the song kept repeating over and over, or was fast forwarded or skipped back to a certain point. So he pulled out his phone to update his manager, who in exchange reminded him that his flight left around ten in the evening so he'd have to be at the airport by seven or even a bit earlier, considering how busy LAX got. Alex had gotten so absorbed by the conversation that he didn't notice Ben taking over and letting Ella wander away for a bit.

The speakers blasted the song all over again, making Ella sway her hips softly to it. She mumbled the lyrics under her breath as she walked up to Alex and when she stood beside him, she nudged him gently with her hip and smirked, "This is a banging tune."

Alex smirked back, pocketing his phone and not answering his manager's last text about whether or not he needed a ride to the airport to look at her and then back to where Ben was working his magic with the camera, "Oh well," he shrugged nonchalantly, "You're a great muse."

A weight lifted off his shoulders after finally confessing that to her, and he could only hope that it would push things forward. Maybe with this she'd realize there were many songs about her in the record than she'd thought. He knew she knew 'Arabella' was about her, he'd managed to scoop it out of Flo, and though he hoped her reaction to it was much different now, he still wanted her to know of the songs that were for her in AM.

Ella didn't even have time to think of a response because her mind had gone blank for a few seconds and,  when she managed to gather her bearings, she heard her name being called by Ben to help him with a shot in which he was using the projector.

What the fuck?

With the new piece of knowledge, Ella found herself analyzing every line of the song as the recording continued and it was entirely her fault when she messed up a few takes from how distracted she was.

She didn't even know what to say when Alex told everyone he'd ordered lunch, after he'd ask Lydia when they'd planned for the lunch break to happen, and when everyone sat happily around the place, chatting and enjoying the lovely Italian food Alex had ordered, Ella was oddly silent.

Ben and Alex were engaged in lively conversation and Ella was just standing there, a few feet away from Alex, stuffing her face with the spinach ravioli bolognese that he'd of course gotten just for her. She'd wanted to run to a room in the house and scream into a pillow when he handed her the plate, along with a wink that had almost made her knees buckle.

If Alex had written this song about her, then which other ones could also be about or for her? Ella found herself trying hard to think about each lyric in each song but her brain was a mush. She'd have to listen to the album on the way home and think hard to figure out if the songs she'd even manage to have a feeling were about her, weren't just her reaching and attributing it to herself in confusion.

But first, she needed to finish recording the music video.

Slowly but surely, Ben and Ella wrapped up the shoot around half past three and it took them all about an hour to pack everything up in the small bus so that they could go back to the office.

Ben helped Alex put his suitcase in the back along with some of their camera cases and when he went inside the vehicle, Ella had called him to sit beside her. There was so much going around inside her mind, endless questions that she wanted to ask but with everyone around and the fear of bursting the bubble that they were in, she stayed quiet and chose to just rest her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and sighing in bliss when she was enveloped by the scent of him.

"Missed you." She mumbled after she felt him kiss the top of her head, warmth seeping through her pores and a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Alex hummed, resting his head over hers and closing his eyes to just revel in the moment, "Missed you more."

They fell asleep like that, the million words that formed a tornado in their heads being dulled down by the feeling of having each other close again.

Almost an hour later, they arrived at the office and Ella knew it from the way Alex's face contorted when he looked at the time on his phone that he had to go soon. She picked up her bag from her desk and turned off her computer quickly, doing a quick sweep of her office to check that she wasn't forgetting something and then she looked back at him.

He was about to say something, but in a desperate moment to have him for a little longer, she suggested, "I can drive you to the airport if you'd like."

He hesitated for a split second, knowing it would be a far longer ride because of it being rush hour, but the prospect of spending that time sitting in traffic beside her was way better than in the backseat of a taxi.

Alex nodded, "Sure, but I can drive." He had seen her yawn multiple times the past few minutes, "You're knackered darling."

"You sure?" She asked but she genuinely wanted to agree to his suggestion, he didn't wanna drive at all for the rest of the day.

The singer hummed, extending his hand out to her and she handed him the keys with a soft smile.

"Right, let's go." She nodded once, walking around her desk and intertwining their fingers to leave the place.

Ella couldn't care less about the glances they got as they waved everyone goodbye, all of them very obviously staring at their hands.

Alex's case rolled beside him as they walked out and he swiftly put it in the trunk of Ella's car when they got to it. Ella had almost run to sit on the passenger seat as soon as he opened the car and he'd laughed to himself at the eagerness on her face.

When he got into the passenger car, he took the piss out of her for her seat arrangement. She scoffed and ignored him, and then he looked up and saw that little mirrorball with a little cowboy hat perched on top and he smiled brightly.

"I missed seeing this." He admitted, bringing his finger up to poke at it and the thing started swinging softly and the reflection of the sun on it was like glitter inside Ella's car.

Ella smiled at it, "So pretty, isn't it?" She yawned yet again, behind her hand as she buckled her seatbelt and then got comfortable in her seat, almost like she was going to fall asleep. "M'gonna get you one when I go back home."

Alex started the car with a smile, finding the way she sleepily slurred her words incredibly endearing and he listened to her slurred words for another fifteen minutes as she guided him out onto the highway.

After she'd fallen asleep, Alex found himself enjoying every minute in that car. He didn't care that the traffic had made the journey over an hour long, because he spent it hearing her soft snores and catching glimpses of the pout on her relaxed face, covered by her hair that she blew softly with every exhale.

With a soft squeeze and rubs on her thigh, Alex woke her up slowly as they got closer to the airport. She'd slowly woken up from her slumber, blinking languidly and yawning before she gathered where they were and brushed her hair away from her face as she stretched out in her place.

"Good morning sunshine." Alex joked with a grin on his face, and Ella blushed at the pet name she hadn't expected.

"Hi." She said shyly, continuing to brush her fingers through her hair to detangle it and then diving into her bag to get a piece of gum and pop it in her mouth.

They had to go all the way to level five to find a parking spot and when they walked out of the car, they were hit by the cold winds of February and the loudness of the place. Ella took out a jacket she kept in the boot of her car and put it on, but despite that, Alex still wrapped his arm around her shoulder and clutched her tightly to him as they walked through the parking lot and onto the lifts so they could go down three levels and into the building so Alex could check-in.

There was a long line to the check-in counters and there were so many people at the airport that the noise around them started making them anxious. It didn't help at all that there were so many paparazzi around the place, so Alex kept his sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose for as long as he could and quietly chatted to Ella as they waited so as not to bring attention to themselves.

Alex only lifted his sunglasses when he got to the counter, Ella's hand tightly clutched in his and he would only let go when he needed to hand in his passport and show his phone with the confirmation number, intertwining their fingers again the second he had his right hand free.

Ella bit her bottom lip to try not to stupidly smile every time, but a grin fought her attempts every time and she freely let herself show how happy his touch made her.

Her smile only faltered when the woman behind the counter asked for Ella's ticket and passport and she had to sadly say she wasn't going with Alex. And only to add to the blooming despair, when the woman checked in Alex's bag and handed him his boarding pass, she let them know that he needed to hurry up because he'd only have a bit over an hour to get through security and get to his gate.

Knowing how LAX got at that time of the day, the lack of any time left together hit them both at the same time and they flashed forced smiles at the woman before thanking her and walking away. Alex hoped that putting his sunglasses back on would help conceal the sadness shining through his eyes.

Walking towards the security line, the looming goodbye weighed heavy on their chests and seeing more and more people joining the back of the line as they approached it only made it worse.

"You really need to get in that line now." Ella sighed heavily, her words coming out pained because she hated having to be reasonable when she didn't want to be.

Alex hummed mindlessly, not really wanting to take her advice into consideration. He cursed having had to agree to performing on the Brits to begin with, he couldn't care less about any good promo for the record or if being invited on stage meant they were assured to win one of the categories they'd been nominated for. Whatever award it was, he'd surely put it away in a box later—he wanted to stay, and he wanted Ella.

His pace slowed as they continued walking, like he was convincing himself more and more of ditching his responsibilities for her. But Ella walked ahead of him, hands still intertwined so he had no other option than to match her pace and follow until they finally stood in the back of the line.

Alex looked at her with a pout, one that she matched but her words came out in an effort to soothe them both, "It's fine. I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Ella scooted a bit closer to his side, and rested her head on his shoulder. Alex wrapped his arm around her waist and kept her close to him, letting his head rest over her head with a deep sigh.

"Yeah." He replied softly, his accent thick and warm as it reached her ears and it almost had her shivering, "Bonnaroo will be fun."

At that, she slowly picked her head up and showed the massive grin that brought to her face, "It will be. I cannot fucking wait."

Even in the most mundane of settings, she looked breathtaking and Alex wanted nothing more than to cup her face and crash their lips together. Not a care in the world that they were in front of the largest crowd, none of them knew just how badly his chest hurt to think about having to leave her yet again.

His eyes dropped to her lips and Ella's breath hitched in her throat at the clear sight of it. In a panic, she changed the subject, "Are you going straight to rehearsal when you get back?" It wasn't that she didn't want that, it was that she didn't know if she could take it. If she could have another taste without wanting to drop to the floor and plead for him to stay.

Alex cleared his throat as he nodded, "Yeah, I land in the morning so I'm probably going straight to the venue."

"When is it again? I need to find a way to watch it." She doubted there could be a way to, she'd most likely would have to be looking through YouTube to find their performance and who were the winners.

"Wednesday night." He frowned slightly trying to search through his mind for a way that would let her watch the show but when he couldn't come up with anything, he promised, "If I can figure out a way for you to watch live, I'll let you know darling."

She hummed, satisfied with that answer, "Thank you sweetness."

They stood in silence then, close to each other and relishing in the warmth each other brought them as the line slowly moved forward. There was only a bit further that she could accompany him in line, she knew that she'd be bothering everyone behind them if she decided to stay with Alex up until it was his turn, and the officer standing by the entrance would ask her for a ticket to make sure only passengers went through, so she'd have to leave as soon as he walked past the glass fence that separated the security check area from the rest of the space.

So it was only a little over ten minutes that Ella stood beside him, before she had to make the decision of peeling herself away from him and actually saying goodbye.

She didn't want to and it was clear in the way the words struggle to slip past her lips. Her frown appeared softly on her face and it deepened as the farewell rose up her throat.

"I need to leave the queue now, sweets." A pout on her face that tied with her furrowed brows made him want to just take her with him, "They're gonna ask for my ticket and everyone behind me will be annoyed I'm taking space in the line when I'm not even leaving."

Alex scoffed at the idea, "Fuck them." He mumbled softly only for her to hear and she chuckled at the firmness of his words.

Turning so that her chest would be flush against his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him in a tight embrace. Her eyes fluttered close, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone behind them and it helped her trying to commit the feeling of being in his arms to memory.

Ella heard him hum in bliss and the soft sound stole a smile from her, one that made the apples of her cheeks rise and tint with a faint pink hue that he got to see when she pulled away.

They were so close though, sharing breaths as they took in each other's faces. She wanted to see the brown of his eyes one last time before he left, so she delicately brought her hands to the sides of his face to prop the glasses up on the top of his head. Her smile only got bigger when she saw the richness of color in front of her, his pupils dilating ever so slightly at the action.

Words failed her, she didn't really know what she should've said but nothing came out, every syllable stuck in the back of her throat when her fingers slowly dragged down the skin of his cheeks, a rush of something that felt like a shock to her system when she felt his stubble beneath the pads of her fingers.

She knew she should've asked if it was alright, if she could give into the temptation but she didn't. Ella just closed the distance and finally ended their agony, the feeling of her soft lips on his had Alex inhaling sharply, fingers digging on her waist and pulling her impossibly close.

It was her that hummed this time, when he took over and guided the sweet kiss. It wasn't desperate like they would've expected and it was probably because of the amount of people surrounding them, but it was just what they needed. Like some sort of comfort, a promise of what could become if they would just give into it all, maybe not right then but soon.

And soon couldn't come fast enough.

The kiss didn't last long, but Alex knew that wasn't deliberate just from how firmly she was cupping his jaw. Just as firm as he was holding her waist, not wanting her to move from that spot at all. But she pulled back with a soft smile, her eyes swimming all over his face as if in search of a clear answer and her heart soared in her chest when he leaned back in for another brief kiss.

One that she broke yet again, but he followed with a string of pecks that made her giggle.

But her giggles were interrupted by the man standing behind them clearing his throat, making Alex and Ella turn to look ahead of them and that's when they noticed everyone was waiting for them to follow ahead with the moving line of people.

"Sorry." Ella apologized for the both of them, not really meaning it because she was elated, though her elation was simmering down into a bittersweet feeling at the fact that they were about to move right into the entrance of the security area and it meant that she had to leave.

Alex walked quickly up to where he had to stand, and unfortunately, he found what Ella had said would happen to be right because the officer asked for her ticket and when she awkwardly admitted to not having one, she was asked to step out of the queue.

Thankfully, the officer opened up the railing for her to easily walk out without having to bother everyone behind Alex.

Ella didn't instantly listen though, because she quickly turned back to Alex and cupped his jaw again to pull him in for a quick peck before she said, "See you soon, okay? Love you sweets."

He didn't even have time to reply because she was gone in a matter of seconds and he couldn't even take his time to follow her path with his gaze because the officer rushed him forward and into one of the aisles.

Suddenly, the line started moving faster now that he was in the aisle and he was rushed through. Ella stayed up until he grabbed his belongings and he turned to briefly wave at her, mouthing a quick 'love you' before he was ushered to leave the area by one of the officers that had just cleared him through the scanner.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Despite being incredibly giddy on her way back home, the long tedious hours she spent by herself while she waited for Alex to text her that he'd landed had been plagued by a storm of thoughts that pushed her into the most pessimistic of states.

Ella knew that if he'd gone for a second kiss then that'd mean something, but she had no idea how to approach the situation at all. They wouldn't see each other until June, four months being apart surely made her courage waver like a house of cards out in the open. Did she even want to properly think about all that she felt when it came to him when she knew there wasn't much at all that they could do about it at that very moment?

It just seemed horrifying and cruel, and Ella had no idea what to do. So she made the decision to let Alex be the one to make the first move, let that be the clear sign that it was something reciprocated.

A stupid decision really, because Alex was just as conflicted about it. He had thought about it the whole flight, falling asleep eventually and dreaming of being able to see her again and just kiss her until their lips were swollen and they had to gasp out for air continuously, dreaming of telling her how she drove him crazy and how he didn't want it any other way.

The kisses shared at the airport were never a topic they touched when they texted after he left. And at first, it was clear that they were walking on eggshells around each other, like they were trying to sway the conversation in that direction but neither of them committed to it. Until Ella took the full day of texts without a mention of the kisses as a sign that it wasn't something he was thinking of and she forced herself to text him like she normally would, Alex following her lead and leaving his unshared thoughts in the back of his head.

When the Brits day arrived, Alex had let her know she could watch the official stream of it on YouTube. He'd comically said, "I haven't a clue of what that means really but that's what Steve told us." She'd cackled at that and called him a grandad, finishing the call wishing them good luck.

She'd wanted to scream when she saw the lads walking onto the red carpet, but she couldn't because she was hidden away in her office with her earphones on after having excused herself for her lunch break. She'd asked Lydia to postpone the two meetings she had later that day so that she could get away with watching the entire award show without interruptions.

And it had been fun, watching the lads perform 'R U Mine?' with the massive AM blazing trails in the other stage. She was amazed at the grandiosity of it all, and she couldn't begin to imagine how hot it must've gotten in that venue due to the fire.

They all looked so good, despite the very different attire they had on. And she was, of course, very biased when she thought just how stunning Alex looked—with that metallic green blazer over a black button down, that he had the top open to showcase the golden chain he always wore, black jeans and his hair styled the usual way.

Whilst the rest of the show went ahead, she mindlessly listened to it in the background as she replied to emails. It wasn't until the 'British Group' category was announced that she went back to put her whole focus on the stream and she squeaked in excitement when Lily Allen announced the Monkeys were the winners.

Ella went from chuckling stupidly at Alex's smolder to cooing over Jamie and Katie sharing a peck, just like Matt and Bre did, to then snort out loud when Alex started his speech. Her snort morphed into a string of giggles that ended in a cackle when he said the last sentence, and she shook her head entirely amused watching them walk back to their table.

Yet, she hadn't expected to laugh even louder when the next category they'd been nominated to came on, Album of the Year, and they won again—this time she'd thought Alex would actually give out a speech about the record but she was comically surprised with an improvised rant about rock 'n' roll that even the lads were giggling about behind the singer.

The way he had to mute his own cursing while thanking everyone had her in stitches already but it was the sudden mic drop by the end of it that made her have to cover her mouth with her hand so she didn't laugh louder than needed.

When she caught her breath back, she reached for her phone and typed a quick message to take the piss out of him for it all.

(19/02/2014 14:06) You're so fucking funny. That speech was something else and the mic drop just brought it all together. Congratulations you clown, so proud of y'all xxxx

She'd gone back to work after she sent that text and eagerly waited for his response, one that came when she was about to exit her office and that had her smiling like an idiot.

(19/02/2014 14:19) I might be a tad tipsy but I'm glad you enjoyed it, love xxx And thank you darling, love you so much xxxxxx Wish you were here :((( xxxxx

That 'love' had assured that her loopy smile stuck on her face for the rest of the day and she had ended up laughing at herself because of the stupid effect he had on her.

She felt pathetic in the best way possible.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

By the time the end of February rolled around, Ella had gotten a nice surprise.

Alice was in Los Angeles to record some songs for Pale Waves' sophomore album and Ella was honestly excited to have a friend over on her side of the pond after being away from everyone for so long.

Pale Waves had stopped touring with AM after the holiday break ended, so that they could focus on finishing their album and Alice had gotten a massive opportunity to travel to LA to work with one of her favorite producers.

The singer had let Ella know a few days before she was due to land on American soil and Ella had made sure to align her schedule to Alice's so that at least they could hang out once or twice while she was there.

It had been on the 26th that Alice had a free day so Ella had taken the day off from work to take Alice around the city and catch up. The girls hadn't seen each other in so long and they only texted ever so often so a lengthy chat was pending.

That was all it really was to Ella: catching up with a friend and making sure that she enjoyed her stay in the city. Nothing more.

Ella had picked her up in the morning and they'd had a lovely breakfast at a cafe by the beach, coffee and pastries shared over mainly work talk. They walked over to the beach and sat down as they watched surfers take on the cold water to ride some waves and Alice let her listen to some demos she had brought to work on when she got there, and a few songs she and her band had already finished.

After they'd spent a fair few hours there, and the sun started bothering them, Ella guided them back to her car and took her to a place she'd recently grown to love more than before: Sunken City.

Yes, it was prohibited to be there and she was risking police fines every time she went but the beauty of the ruins was unmatched and she figured Alice deserved to see a place like it, Ella knew she'd enjoy it.

They'd had to look for a parking spot a bit far away from the place and act very casually as they walked towards the ruins.

Both girls acknowledged the few people there with a tilt of their chins and a soft smile came to their faces when they saw the strangers there doing just what they both were planning on doing, smoking.

Alice had rolled a pair of joints in the car before they walked out to make their way to the intriguing place, and they were planning on carefully trekking around to find a good spot and smoke for a bit before Ella had to drop Alice off back at the hotel she was staying at.

"What was this then?" Alice asked, intrigued by the graffiti on the sides of big rocks that looked humanly impossible to have been put together.

Ella had Alice's hand in hers as she guided them both around, taking careful steps since she knew slipping and falling over would end up poorly, the other arm stretched out to the side so she'd have some help with her balance.

It was good Alice had decided to change her usual platform heeled boots for some flat doc martens that were much safer in this situation.

"This used to be part of the neighborhood back in the 1920s, but there was a landslide in '29 that took a bunch of the houses here into the ocean and people had to relocate." Ella explained softly as she focused on the last few feet she had to get to her favorite spot there.

When she reached it, she carefully pulled Alice closer and sat down at the edge of the tall flat rock first before she could help Alice sit down next to her. The shoulders almost pressed together, their thighs brushing against each other.

"After people moved away, they demolished what was left of the houses and nature just left this after decades." With quickness, Ella took the lighter from her jeans pocket and offered it to Alice. The singer had the joints in her possession so she took them out and offered one of them to Ella, placing the other one between her lips and lighting it up before giving Ella the cowboy boot shaped trinket back.

Ella lit her joint alive and took a long drag, watching Alice take in every bit of the view as she let out the smoke she'd inhaled. "Isn't it gorgeous?" The sky was changing due to the sun coming down to rest on the horizon, a soft orange and pink coming to life behind clouds and it was a promise of a picture perfect sunset to come soon.

Alice hummed, it was eerie yet stunning. Trying to make out the street art on the ruins was becoming distracting as the weed started relaxing her system, her eyes catching the rusted spray paint cans discarded in between the creases of the rocks.

"You come here often?" Alice frowned when she realized how familiar Ella seemed with the place and it honestly surprised her because Ella didn't seem like the type to frequent places like this. Especially not when a huge 'no trespassing' sign welcomed you into the place.

Ella chuckled in amusement at her clear confusion, and took another drag before she answered, "I do now, yeah. I had only driven past twice before but one of my friends from work managed to convince me to come here to take some pictures at the start of the year and after he taught me how and when to come in without getting caught by the police, I've been coming here to clear my head."

Alice snickered in amusement, lifting her joint and waving it briefly in the air to mock, "Clear your head, yeah?"

Rolling her eyes and turning to look straight at Alice, Ella scoffed, "Shut up. You do just the same to clear your head."

Alice cocked her head at Ella's raised brow that felt like a challenge to refute her words. The singer only shrugged with a low chuckle, placing the spliff back between her lips to inhale and a smirk formed on her face after she let the smoke out.

"Amongst other things." Alice teased, her pupils dilating as she stared right into Ella's eyes and she purposely let her gaze drop to her lips.

Ella knew exactly what she was doing, so she smirked to herself and replied with a sarcastic, "Yeah, I'm sure." as if she was fully disinterested.

But Alice made Ella's breath hitch in her throat when she confidently let her hand come over Ella's clothed thigh and squeezed as she said, "You know."

She squirmed in her place when a rush of heat tingled all the way down her spine, nodding mindlessly when she replied, "I do."

Her eyes fell on Alice's lips and she gulped at the proximity they found themselves in. The magnetism Alice had was something that Ella couldn't really explain.

"You really do." Alice added, leaning closer into Ella's space.

Their lips brushed once, Alice teasing Ella with a taste of the feeling of their lips together again and Ella was finally the one to fully close the distance. It had been a while since they'd shared a kiss so Ella's memories of back then flashed to the forefront of her mind in a split second, like the singular touch of their tongues melting together was enough of a deja vu to undo a box of memories that reeled through her mind like a film.

It didn't take long until they started being vocal, gasps for air and soft moans that they swallowed, and it all encouraged them to use their free hands for something. Alice let her hand wander up Ella's thigh until she got closer to her heat and she silently instructed Ella to open her legs. All while Ella rubbed up and down Alice's silky skin, feeling the goosebumps that broke on it from their kiss and cheekily letting her fingers wander to the insides of her thighs and up until she hit the hem of her shorts, only to make Alice a bit louder.

However, all of the sudden, as if her brain was begging her to remember, the memory of the kiss she'd shared with Alex at the airport managed its way through and made her stop.

Ella had pulled Alice slowly until the singer had lifted herself up and was about to straddle her when Ella harshly pulled back and broke the kiss, hurriedly saying, "Allie– No. I can't."

Alice saw the way the color drained from Ella's face and she quickly sat back down beside her, a frown taking over her expression and she genuinely asked Ella, "Are you okay?"

In Ella's brain there was a horrendous turmoil that had shook her. A heavy weight of guilt came down on her chest and almost made her wheeze out for a breath. She nodded as she struggled to get herself together, her words came out choked out thanks to her dry mouth and throat, "Erm, yeah. I just– I'm sorry."

She felt the need to apologize because, after all, she had been the one to start the kiss. But Alice wouldn't have that, so she shook her head and brushed Ella's hair behind her ear and shoulder, "Ella, don't apologize." She kissed her shoulder softly in reassurance and smiled sweetly at her to add, "You don't owe me a thing, no need to apologize."

"It's just, I–" Ella tried to explain, but she didn't know how to even begin to put the mess of thoughts together into coherent sentences.

Alice shook her head once more and with her hand coming back to rest over her leg, this time she let it innocently rub soothing circles on her skin as she continued calming her down, "You don't have to explain anything to me baby, it's okay."

The singer could almost hear the erratic thumping of Ella's heart because of how quiet the director had gotten. The dancing of the waves on the shore took over, as well as the birds flying over them and the chatter of the strangers they'd walked past earlier.

"Don't go quiet on me, it's fine." Alice broke the silence after letting Ella revel in it for a few minutes, they were about to finish their spliffs and Alice took the hanging of Ella's shoulders as a sign of her relaxing again. She knew she'd have to be the one to push her out of the pit she'd thrown herself into so she playfully nudged her and encouraged, "C'mon, tell me about how it was the first time you came here and how badly you were shitting yourself about it."

Hearing Ella laugh over her choice of words was music to Alice's ears and, just like that, they spent the rest of their time there. Lighting up cigarettes after their joints were finished, chuckling and admiring the sunset beautifully forming in front of them.

Before they left, they took a quick few pictures together. They had no idea when it would be that they'd see each other again so they wanted to keep a memory. Cheek to cheek, they posed for Alice's camera and they took a few selfies like that. The first ones were just of them smiling, and then Alice stuck her tongue out as Ella made a kissy face—the singer's tongue poked at Ella's pursed lips making her giggle after the shutter was pressed. In amusement, Ella copied Alice and stuck her tongue out too, letting their tongues touch shamelessly for the camera.

The sunset had long before it would die down but Ella knew it was around this time of the day that the cops came to check on the place, so she rushed them both out of the place and when they got to the car she breathed in relief. It was always like that when she went to Sunken City, she wasn't a rule-breaking girl even if she tried to.

As she started the car, Ella made Alice send her the pictures to her email and the singer did just that. Ella would've taken a few with her own phone but it had run out of battery, unfortunately. On the way back to her hotel, Alice took over the aux and she enjoyed introducing Ella to music she had never really heard before—she took a video of Ella bobbing her head and humming along Blink-182.

Meanwhile, Alex was sitting at a circular table with the rest of the band, along with Bre, Katie and Kelly, and he was rather tipsy at the NME Awards. They had already accepted three awards and they were fucking buzzing with energy—and alcohol. He couldn't stop his fingers from sending a bunch of texts and he kept them coming despite Ella's lack of replies.

It wasn't until he was at the afterparty, once he had found himself in a boring conversation he could tune out, that he pulled out his phone to check for the hundredth time if Ella had replied that he checked Instagram and his heart had dropped to the ground at what he saw.

Alice had posted the selfie where she and Ella had their tongues out and captioned it 'always want a taste of my favourite cowgirl xxx' and right after, she'd posted the video of Ella dancing to a Blink-182—he had excused himself and brought his phone speaker up to his ear to hear the video and he rolled his eyes in anger hearing their laughter and Alice singing and encouraging Ella to keep dancing with the sweet talk she always gave the American girl.

The jealousy streaming through his veins was bitter and hot, and it was enough to cloud the excitement of having won six awards that night.

His thoughts started going into the worst direction and he was fucking fuming just thinking about how he was almost entirely certain they'd shagged again.

Alex stomped on the bud of the cigarette with fury and he started throwing back drinks consistently all through the rest of the night.

All the alcohol he ingested backfired on him and he had ended up drunk dialing Ella's phone way too many times, until he passed out on top of his bed in the same clothes he'd worn all night.

When he woke up, his mind was foggy enough to have forgotten about just what had sent him down a spiral, but when he groaned as he lifted himself up on the bed and checked on his phone, a text from Ella brought it all back and he just wanted to be sick right then and there.

(26/02/2014 20:54) Sweets, I'm so sorry I didn't answer your calls! My phone died and I only just got back home from spending the day with Alice. I'm really tired, honestly, and I bet you're asleep by now so I'll call you tomorrow okay? Love you and congratulations!!!! Don't let the 'hero of the year' award get to your head though, it's already big as it is ;)) xx

If 'spending the day with Alice' wasn't clear proof that she had shagged the singer, Alex didn't know what it was. Out of pettiness he didn't reply, leaving Ella on read the rest of the day and he watched the phone ring and ring multiple times in the evening but he never answered her calls.

He felt ridiculous but he was angry and he knew he had no legs to stand on but he just couldn't help himself. Though, he knew he shouldn't be directing his annoyance at Ella. He didn't even want to think about how Alice fucking knew he had feelings for Ella and yet, she went ahead and fucked her, and rubbed it on his face again.

His fingers hurt and felt numb by the end of the day from how hard he'd been clenching his fists all day thinking about the horrendous situation. The hangover he was sporting didn't help either, and the only thing he could rely on was the rich rainfall of warm water inside his shower where he spent almost an hour trying to calm down.

Before he went to bed, he warily sent her a text, one that sounded so disingenuous it made him cringe after he sent it.

(27/02/2014 17:26) Sorry, I've been so hungover I had to turn my phone off to be able to peacefully sleep it off. I'll call you when I start feeling like a person again. Thank you for the love, take care Ellie xx

Ella instantly knew something was off, and she wanted to be sick when she got that text while she was stuck in traffic on the way back home. She had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel the rest of the way back, but she couldn't find a reason for his behavior. Despite her gut telling her the opposite, she had to attribute it to his supposed hangover, and she just hoped it was nothing else.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

When March came around, so did Breana and Matt. The couple arrived in the morning of the second day of the month and Ella had picked them up from the airport with a bright smile on her face.

Her heart swelled in her chest having the pair back in Los Angeles and they all had the best time having brunch in West Hollywood before they went back to Bre's house. There they sat down in front of a flat screen and played the Arabella music video which had just come out an hour before.

Ella had gasped at the sudden lewdness of the video and by the time it ended, she asked so many questions about how it had been to shoot all that. She'd subtly asked about the scenes that Alex had to film, since she was still playing on loop the scene of Alex walking into a woman changing and it had left her uncomfortably squirming in her place. Thankfully, this time Matt hadn't chosen to joke around and actually told her how different it had been and Ella found herself curious about the director's methods.

The rest of the day had been spent catching up and Ella had been the one surprised by the news that Matt and Bre had decided to look for a house in Los Angeles and move in together. Ella had squeaked in excitement and hugged them both tightly, joking about how she'd have to go into whichever place they would decide to go for with gloves because she was sure the first thing they would do would be christening every corner and surface of that house.

By the end of the night, they'd been sleepily brainstorming what could be done for Bre's birthday and they had decided to just go to a pub or a club and celebrate there, knowing how long it had been since they'd partied together, Matt agreed saying it was a needed evening after all that time.

So when the fifth of March rolled around, they had found themselves, along with a handful of Bre's friends, at a club where they celebrated the birthday girl. Ella hadn't planned on drinking that much but Bre kept convincing her of taking shot after shot and she'd ended up giggling uncontrollably as they danced.

When Ella had been sent for another round of shots though, a guy came up to her and started chatting her up and she'd flushed much more than usual thanks to the alcohol in her blood. The guy had ended up saving his number in her phone and making sure to have her call him, to which Ella hesitantly agreed.

Bre had seen it all and she'd asked all about it but Ella didn't have much to say, the guy and every word he uttered was so forgettable that the whole interaction slipped her mind and she just shrugged when she mentioned he'd given her his number.

Ella had let herself forget about it until the day of her birthday.

She'd decided to just stay in that day, inviting a few of her work friends over as well as Bre and Matt. There were multiple wine bottles and a few snack plates as well as charcuterie boards, so it was gonna be a calm night of pure chatter and good food.

It was around eleven in the evening that Bre decided to bring the cake she'd gotten Ella and light up some candles to sing her happy birthday, before some of her friends left. So Matt facetimed Alex from his phone to make sure he was present for that moment, like he had promised the drummer to do earlier when he had called to wish Ella a happy birthday.

Alex had stayed on the phone for a longer time though, hearing as Ella's co-workers left after midnight, wishing her happy birthday and thanking her for a lovely night. He'd been smiling the whole time and he had laughed along with Bre, Ella and Matt when the three of them were the only ones left at Ella's house.

They'd started cleaning up by the time the clock hit one in the morning and, since it wasn't really that entertaining, Matt had let Alex go. Alex said bye to Bre and wished Ella a happy birthday one last time before he hung up the phone, and it was just as he was hearing Matt promising to call him in the next few days, that he heard Breana saying something that just felt like another knife to the heart.

"Why didn't that guy from the other night come? I thought you were gonna invite him."

He didn't even get a chance to hear Ella's response because Matt ended the call, and he wallowed in self pity for no reason because Ella had shrugged and waved her best friend's question off by clearing up, "I didn't even call him after all. Wasn't really interested, if I'm being honest."

Yet, Alex hadn't heard those words and he was left thinking about it the rest of his day. But this time, he didn't let his jealousy turn into a cold shoulder treatment, because in all honesty it had been painful to read the meek messages he sent her after he saw Alice's posts. He'd remembered how badly he'd fucked up that night at the pub when Ella was in London and he didn't want a repeat of that so he had eventually had to suck it up and force himself to go back to normal.

So he knew he could swallow it and move on, it was hard ignoring the ache in his chest though. He shook his head at himself when he found his thoughts going back to the words Bre had said and forcing himself to stop thinking about it was a challenge, but he had to remind himself that he was in no position to react like that and that if he let it poorly show like he had before, he could fuck things up.

And that was the last thing he needed.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The rest of March and the start of April had been filled with everyone throwing great news around and the smiles seemed to be always present in everyone's faces.

Nick and Kelly had surprised the group with the news of a baby on the way, making Ella and Bre cry on facetime when they called and showed the scan pictures of the baby growing in Kelly's belly.

Jamie and Katie had been finishing up the last details of their wedding and the American girls had gotten loads of pictures of every single dress Katie had tried on throughout her dress shopping week that she spent going from shop to shop accompanied by her family, Florence and Kelly.

Bre and Matt had managed to put an offer on a house in Hollywood Hills that they fell in love with and they had gotten it accepted, meaning they just had to endure about a fortnight of paperwork in order to close the sale and finally say the house was theirs.

It was when Bre and Matt finally got the keys to their house and were able to take out the 'sold' sign out of the grass by the mailbox, that they invited everyone over for the weekend so that they could celebrate everyone's news.

Nick, Jamie, Kelly and Katie had all been in the same flight so they arrived together at Matt and Bre's new house in the early afternoon of a Friday in the middle of April. Alex had basically spent most of his time back home doing a press tour due to the rise of the record—their label wanting the band to go around doing interviews and magazine covers and articles to ride the high of it all—but he had done it all alone, and he had a radio interview in the morning of that very Friday so he had to leave in a later flight and got there late in the evening.

They'd planned a barbecue for Saturday and since the new house was so close to the Universal Studios amusement park, they were all thinking of spending the first half of the day there until they had to leave so everyone was ready for their late night flight back home on Sunday.

Ella had woken up early and gone to the shops to get snacks and drinks and whatever else she thought they might need, making sure to not forget the housewarming gifts she'd bought for the couple: a funny welcome mat that said 'come in' but if it was flipped upside down it changed into 'go away', a box of condoms and a fun little set of leather cuffs. Ella had giggled when picking the things up and she'd giggled some more when wrapping them up.

She cursed the couple a few times when stuck in traffic for deciding to live so far away from her, but when she got there and saw Bre and Matt open the door and wave at her as she pulled into the driveway, Ella cooed at the image.

"I'm so fucking happy for you two." Ella said after she crashed into them and wrapped them in a group hug, her eyes closed and a big smile on her face.

Bre dropped a kiss on her cheek at the same time as Matt said, "Thank you Ellie."

When Ella pulled back, she smirked, "I might place some bets in a bit. See how fast you manage to knock her up."

Matt's smirk showed instantly on his face and Bre cackled next to him. He proudly puffed his chest out and shrugged nonchalantly as he replied, "Well it's not like we aren't practicing."

"Of course you are. Filthy bitches." Ella joked with a giggle stuck in her throat, but before she could continue her taunting, she turned around to head back to her car, calling out behind her, "C'mon Matthew, help me with the things I brought."

The drummer followed her but scolded her for going against what they'd told her the previous day on the phone, "Ella, we told you we got everything."

And Ella clearly remembered them saying how they had everything covered and that the only thing they needed was her to be there but she wouldn't have that, she wasn't showing up empty handed. So she easily sing-sang, "Don't care!" as she walked up to her car and opened the trunk.

Matt was handed a pair of grocery bags with a few pints of ice cream and a few cuts of meat, managing to carry a strawberry cheesecake she'd bought for everyone to have later and Bre came up to them when she saw the big beer case that was left to be brought out of the boot of the car. Ella thanked them before she grabbed the gifts and her big bag with clothes and a towel for her to use after the pool.

Before she went out to the backyard, she helped put the ice cream, beer and the cheesecake in the fridge whilst Matt took the meat to the barbecue to season it and start cooking it along with the rest of food they had outside.

Bre showed Ella the array of alcohol they had already cooled in the fridge, but Ella opted to start it calmly with just a beer.

When she walked out through the open sliding doors, she was met with a scene that she'd missed very much. The chatter full of thick accents and those laughs she knew so well flooded her with a warm sense of familiarity and she almost wanted to cry.

"Hi!!!" She loudly greeted everyone, her smile so big that her eyes creased at the edges.

A chorus of "Ella!" was heard and everyone scrambled around to come up to her and greet her with hugs that swelled her heart with love.

She'd spent a little longer hugging Nick and Kelly, tearing up when touching the little bump that Kelly was sporting at about fifteen weeks. And those tears had managed to slip down her cheeks when she finally got her arms around Alex's frame.

"Missed you, sweets." She whispered in his ear, sniffling after the words left her lips and rubbing her thumb over the fabric of his white shirt.

Alex swayed them softly for a few seconds before plating a chaste kiss on her cheek and pulling away to reciprocate, "Me too darling."

The first thing they did was start the barbecue so that they could eat before getting in the pool as they waited for the sun to rise higher and burn brighter on them all.

The lads proudly showed Ella the High Green sign they had managed to put up on the wall right by where the grill was placed, and she giggled at their excitement only to run to her bag and get her camera to take a picture of them all in front of it.

As they waited for the food to cook, they sat down on the lounge chairs and caught up on what they'd all been up to. Everyone was more focused on Nick and Kelly's story about how they found out about the baby and what had been said on the first scan they'd had, so most of the conversation was centered on the little O'Malley who, according to the doctor, was coming at the end of September.

The food had been thoroughly enjoyed, loud chatter and laughter joined the chirping of the birds and the sway of the leaves from the wind, which was doing little to keep them fresh thanks to the sun now burning down on their skins. Most of everyone's clothes had been discarded so that they could be fresh as they ate and drank but eventually it got too hot and Matt was the first one to jump into the pool.

Bre and Katie followed shortly after, jumping in hand in hand and swiftly coming back up with bright smiles on their faces. Nick had taken the path of going down the stairs by the shallow end of the pool and he had expected Kelly to do the same but she jumped in just like the girls had done. Everyone laughed at the way Nick's face fell in shock and the deep breath he took after Kelly came back up.

Ella was finishing the last of her steak before getting in the pool when Alex stood up and shed himself off his shoes and his shirt which had already been fully opened. She'd been trying not to gawk at his figure even if she wouldn't be obvious behind her sunglasses, so she'd forced herself to keep her gaze on her plate as she stabbed on the last cut of meat she had.

That's why she hadn't noticed the way everyone in the pool exchanged mischievous looks with the singer.

Alex startled her by wrapping his arms firmly around her middle from the back and she'd gasp after swallowing the last bite of food she had in her mouth.

"Alex don't!" She pleaded in desperation, she dropped her plate on the chair beside her hip and that was when he finally picked her up and started walking forwards with her in his arms.

Ella squirmed in his hold, kicking her legs but it did nothing to have him put her down. If anything, she was only accentuating just how close they were because the more she moved, the more she felt him clearly against her.

Her cheeks tinted pink and she got hotter as he got closer to the edge of the deep end, and she heard him chuckle in her ear after she begged once more, "Please, Alex! Don't!"

But before she could try her luck once more, Alex leaped forward and made the both of them jump into the pool together.

She came up with a gasp and took a deep breath before turning around to find Alex and shove him, "You bitch!"

The laughter was loud around them, and Alex looked far too pleased with his actions. The corners of his lips pulled up in a gorgeous toothy grin that made her melt and she let herself come back down into the water to cool her face and brush her hair backwards.

She realized then that her glasses were gone so she scoffed as soon as she came up to the surface, "Alex!" She whined loudly, "My sunglasses!"

The cackles that her words elicited were obnoxiously loud but she sucked it up when the singer looked down and instantly dove down to find them. The group watched Alex's blurry silhouette move under the water until he came up with the black shades in hand and a soft smile.

He purposely got close to her and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in when he came back afloat, "Sorry, darling. Here you go." He said smoothly, handing her the sunglasses which she took with a glare but she still wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Thanks." She muttered before putting the glasses back on, her stoic face being a challenge to keep on when he left a wet kiss on her cheek.

Bre had elbowed Matt before he could say anything about the pair because she knew her boyfriend was just biting his tongue to tease them about their proximity. Instead, she chose to start a conversation about their plans for the next day and suggested a visit to Universal Studios since they were merely fifteen minutes away from the place.

From then on, conversation had flowed smoothly and the next few hours had been spent drinking and chatting, laughing and smoking. Music had started playing from a speaker Matt brought out sometime in the middle of the afternoon and it kept playing until they decided to act like children and start chicken fighting.

Kelly had opted out so she and Nick had been assigned as 'referees' to 'keep an eye out on the fairness of each round', or whatever Matt had said along those lines.

Bre had managed to knock Ella down the first round, undoubtedly because Matt had kicked Alex and made him falter so Ella was thrown off balance and fell backwards into the water.

So while Ella waited to see who she had to fight next, from Bre and Katie who were currently fighting, she'd gotten lost in the way the sunshine gleamed on the girls' skins and how stunning they both looked.

No one could or should blame her for staring really—the two girls were models and for a damn reason.

She'd been lost appreciating their features being accentuated by the golden sunlight that Alex's touch suddenly on her face made her heart jump out of her chest.

His right hand cupped her jaw and he turned her face to the side so she could look at him, fingers firmly on her skin and, when his thumb came up to brush against her bottom lip, her breath hitched in her throat.

This is it, she thought. All that was going through her mind was how it would be then that he'd kiss her again. And she was certain that she would collapse right then and there.

Except, when Alex leaned forward, he never closed the distance. Instead, he opened his mouth to whisper, "You're drooling a bit there, darling." in a mocking manner after having found her gawking at the girls.

Suddenly, his touch was gone and so was he, only leaving her with the warm breath that left his lips as he chuckled to hit her parted mouth.

Ella had no idea why she felt so defeated by the turn of events and she cursed herself for being an idiot and getting her hopes up with suck quickness.

She had to act like nothing had happened, gulping harshly and rolling her eyes, turning her head back around to watch the girls, but she wasn't watching anymore. Not really. Her gaze was stuck somewhere in the background, staring into a brick wall as she bit the inside of her cheek and the feeling of her heart dropping and her blood running suddenly cold made her shiver.

Swimming to the stairs, she came out of the pool and poured herself a shot of whiskey. She tossed it back in a split second, hissing to herself when it burned down her throat and then she walked up to her bag to get herself a cigarette. She needed the sweet relief of nicotine so desperately then, to numb herself down a little—she wished she'd brought some weed with her.

"Idiot." She mumbled to herself when she couldn't get the lighter to spark, having to let out a deep sigh before trying again and when it finally lit up the end of her cigarette a familiar orange hue, she took a long and deep drag.

After that, every touch that Alex left on her skin, deliberate or not, burned like a cigarette burn that she was so painfully aware of. Each brush of his fingers sparked more doubts in her mind, she was so distracted by her own stupid worries that she was trying so hard to ignore, that she'd missed many words directed at her.

The latest one being Katie asking her if she could help her bring the dessert out for everyone. Ella apologized for making her repeat herself but nodded as enthusiastically as she could and followed the model inside to get the cheesecake out of the fridge.

Singing along to a Stones song that was playing outside, Katie and Ella worked steadily as they cut a piece of dessert for everyone to enjoy. There was something about cutting the pieces of cake that reminded Katie of her upcoming wedding and that's when the realization came to her that she hadn't told Ella the good news.

"Wait, did we tell you we have a date for the wedding yet?" The knife hung in the air as the model looked at Ella with eyes wide, praying that she had told her but just forgotten.

But Ella shook her head and smiled at Katie so she wouldn't worry about it, "No! When is it?"

Still, Katie's face fell and the color of her cheeks paled a bit as she apologized, "Oh god, I'm so sorry." She quickly plated the last piece before dropping the knife on the sink and then grabbing Ella delicately by the shoulders, "It's on May 15th, please tell me you can come."

The specific date rang in Ella's head and her memory itched with the faint knowledge of something happening around those days. She didn't really remember though, so she asked, "Is it here?" before she could check her calendar.

"London." Katie answered quickly, "This venue we really wanted but were waitlisted for called us last week and told us they'd gotten a cancellation for that day and we just said yes."

The elation shined through Katie's face and it melted Ella's insides, "Awh, I'm so happy that worked out for y'all."

Katie pulled her in for a hug and mumbled against her ear, "I know, we're buzzing too. But please tell me you can come."

"I think I have something scheduled for May but I don't think anything important." Ella commented before pulling away from the hug, knowing she'd have to make sure on her calendar and since it was outside, she pointed towards the sliding door and said, "Let me check." before walking quickly towards her bag to retrieve her phone.

When she was back in the kitchen, Katie watched expectantly as Ella skimmed through her phone. Her heart dropped right with Ella's when she watched Ella's smile falter to then curse under her breath, "Oh shit."

"Don't tell me it's bad news." Katie pleaded, as if she didn't know Ella's expression meant just that.

Ella cringed when she looked up and sighed heavily, "I have a shoot that whole week and the next one."

"Can you reschedule?" Katie asked quickly, even though it seemed almost impossible if the shoot was two weeks long.

Ella considered the possibility for a split second but she remembered the long document she'd signed and she remembered reading something about there not being a possibility to change the dates of the shoots, "I signed a contract..."

Katie started fiddling with her fingers, trying to come up with a solution, "We'll pay whatever the penalty for infringing it is– You have to be there!"

Ella pouted and nodded in agreement but she went back to her phone to find the contract and see what exactly it said. She frowned as she searched through her email, giving Katie a quick rundown on what the ambitious project was for, "The contract is with the university I went to. We're shooting this short film in Boston and submitting it to the Los Angeles film festival."

"So you can't come?" Katie barely mumbled, as if saying it louder would mean it to be true.

But, the volume of their words didn't matter because Ella found the ten page document and when she found the section talking about bookings and flights and venues, she winced and bit the inside of her cheek as she read over and over to understand that the answer wasn't gonna help at all.

"I'm afraid I can't, no." Flights and accommodation had already been booked, locations to film had already been separated and the proper city permits for the project had been granted for those dates, making it all impossible to be pushed to another date. "Fuck..."

Katie pouted, her heart heavy in her chest and she walked the few steps that separated her from Ella to envelope the director in a hug, "I'm so sad now."

"I'm sorry." Ella mumbled, hating that she would have to miss such an important event for her friends.

Katie didn't want Ella to think it was on her though, so she pulled back and shook her head, "No, babe, you're fine. This is so last minute, don't worry." Katie could also see how big of a thing that shoot would be for Ella and her career so she wouldn't want her to feel like she had to pull out of the project for their wedding. It didn't mean she wasn't devastated by the knowledge of her absence that day, "Just heartbroken you won't be there."

Placing her phone on the kitchen counter, Ella clutched Katie tightly to herself and agreed, "I know, me too."

With two plates in hand each, Katie and Ella walked outside and handed the dessert around. There were still four more plates to bring so the girls walked back into the kitchen to grab the last of them.

As she was about to hold two plates, Ella stopped in her tracks and turned to Katie with a suggestion, "Wait. How about I compensate for this?"

"What?" Katie asked, confused.

"For not going to your wedding."

Katie's brows rose in understanding and then she waved Ella off softly, "It's not your fault, you don't have to compensate for anything."

Ella nodded, coming to terms with that but a smirk showed on her face when she pushed, "Okay but let me be able to participate somehow."

Her smirk was contagious, a soft one pulling at Katie's corners of her lips as she said, "Right, I'm listening."

She had no idea what to expect and it was a nice surprise when the American girl suggested, "Do you wanna have a photoshoot tomorrow?" with a cheeky grin on her face.

A soft "Oh?" left Katie's lips at the idea of it.

She was about to say yes, not really a doubt in mind that a photoshoot with Ella would be a dream, but when Ella mischievously added, "We'll need to buy some things in fun stores but I reckon it'll be a good wedding gift." then it clicked in Katie's head what the girl was suggesting.

"Is this what I think it is?" Katie whispered, as if the naughty idea that had been thrown in the air wordlessly was meant to be kept secret.

Ella giggled at Katie's eager face and nodded, "Yeah."

"Okay, deal." Katie put her hand out for Ella to share, which she did with a louder string of giggles and when it was settled, Katie squeaked softly and added, "Oh I'm so excited!"

Finally grabbing the last four plates, they walked back outside. There, they handed those who were missing their sweet food and when Katie sat beside Ella at the edge of the pool with their feet dipped in the warm water, the model gave everyone the sad news.

As soon as Katie said Ella wasn't gonna be able to attend, everyone loudly talked over each other but the main word everyone had said was, "Why?" so Ella easily explained the reasoning behind it all.

With pouts and grimaces on their faces, the group came around to understanding after a wave of possible solutions that were just too much of an inconvenience for both parties.

"I'll steal Katie tomorrow, if you don't mind Cookie." Ella let the guitarist know, trying to hide the smirk that appeared on her face by eating the last of her cake slowly. "You know, to make it up to her."

Jamie stared at the pair with curiosity, he could see that they were planning something but he had no clue what it could be, so he joked, "And when are you making it up to me?"

Ella had to press her lips together not to give it all away, and she forced herself to act nonchalant as she shrugged, "Soon, I suppose."

Jamie hummed, narrowing his eyes at her and then his fiance but when they only giggled to each other and said nothing else, he figured he would be able to find out what it would be soon enough.

That night, after spending more hours messing about in the pool with alcohol and lit cigarettes in hand, Ella and Katie left to go back to Ella's house.

Before they could go to sleep, Ella went online and booked a hotel room, one that they both liked and that thankfully was close to The Grove so that they could go shopping and then to their shooting location quicker.

Going shopping for lingerie with Katie was fun. Ella had never been one to feel properly comfortable going into one of the stores because she always felt watched and judged but being there with Katie, who had actually pushed her into the changing rooms so that she could also try some sets and cute babydolls, was entertaining and Ella enjoyed herself.

"These are gonna look gorgeous dusting away in my closet." Ella joked as they left with an arm full of shopping bags each. "Thank you though, that was fun." Katie kissed her cheek loudly and, after taking a break to go grab something to eat, they got some gorgeous heels for Katie to wear.

After getting to the hotel and checking in, everything had gone incredibly smoothly and it just brought the biggest smiles to their faces. Katie trusted her wholeheartedly and she was a model so this wasn't her first rodeo, therefore it all added to the easy and enjoyable journey the afternoon was being.

The thing about boudoir photography was that it was tricky to find that balance between erotic and mysterious, showing much more than usual but keeping it enticing and evoking lust, hunger and passion. But with a woman like Katie posing for the camera, Ella found it so easy to play in so many different angles and spaces that just worked on the subtle storyline they were keeping for it.

By the time the clock hit five in the afternoon, the girls took the last of the pictures and once the sun started to set, they got everything they'd brought and went back downstairs to the lobby to check out and rush back to Matt and Bre's house.

When they got there, everyone was ready to head to the airport. Multiple suitcases were waiting by the door whilst everyone was having one last drink in the living room as they waited for Katie and Ella to come back. Thankfully, Katie had taken her case with her so she'd put everything away in the hotel before coming back so that she'd be ready to go when they stepped foot in the house.

The minute Bre stepped back into the living room with Ella and Katie in tow, everyone downed the last of their drinks and scrambled to get their things and leave as soon as they could. Their flight was leaving in a few hours, and they knew just how busy LAX would be on a Sunday night.

That was why the goodbyes exchanged were hasty and brief. They got the eight minutes it took for the big van they'd ordered to take them to the airport as the time to bid each other farewell.

Katie squeezed Ella tightly before she got inside the vehicle and Jamie had cheekily asked what they'd done as he hugged Ella goodbye, only to get a giggle and an obviously faux, "I don't know." as an answer.

Kelly and Nick briefly trapped her in a hug and Ella made them promise to come back soon so that she could do a little maternity shoot for them. Kelly cooed at the thought and took her up on the opportunity, making sure to promise that the second they'd plan on coming back, she'd be the first to know.

Alex, who had been helping Matt put the luggage in the back of the van, walked up to Ella last. She was still facing the van's open door so when he came up to her, he trapped her in a headlock and dipped his face so he could press a long kiss on her cheek.

The two couples inside the vehicle saw the way Ella's face lit up at the contact, her nose and eyes scrunching up and her lips pulled into a loopy grin.

Ella's arms wrapped instinctively around Alex's waist and she turned in his hold to hide her face in the crook of his neck. She left a few pecks there before she pulled back and whispered, "Be back soon okay? I'll miss you."

Alex's gaze went all over her face and she noticed the way the brown of his eyes gleamed when the lights of the house's porch hit them. She licked her lips subconsciously and, though his eyes dropped to see her plump pink mouth, he didn't close the distance.

Instead he nodded, pressing a kiss on her forehead and he mumbled, "Me too, so much." against her skin. The fact that he hadn't used this opportunity to kiss her made her thoughts tangle in confusion, she had thought that he'd be the one to make that first move considering she was the one to initiate it the last time.

Still, she let her eyes flutter close and inhale his scent, relishing in his hold and the force with which his fingers dug into her flesh like he didn't want to let go.

But he did. Leaving her exposed to the wind and her skin broke out in goosebumps when she watched him walk up and into the van, closing the door behind him.

Ella took a few steps backwards, until she stood beside Matt and Bre by the front door, and she waved them goodbye as the van started to move. She managed to see the singer blowing her a kiss through the polarized windows, her stomach flipping inside her as that familiar feeling of longing settled in her again. That same old weight on her chest that forced her to take a deep breath to be able to collect herself.

The second the vehicle was out of their sight, she turned around to look at Bre and Matt and sighed with a pout, "Well, I gotta go. I'm in work early tomorrow."

Bre whined when she said that and she hugged her so tight as she tried to convince her to stay that Ella'd had to beg Matt to save her from the model's hold. Matt hugged her just as tight but way shorter, only to bother her, before he jokingly ushered her away.

"Yeah no, off she goes. I have someone to do and many places for that to happen at."

Ella loudly gagged and flipped him off, "Disgusting!" She grabbed her keys from the back pocket of her jeans though and waved them goodbye, "Love ya'! See ya'!"

Even if she didn't want to know whatever they were going to do, she was so glad to see the couple smiling so brightly as she drove away. She lit up a cigarette, rolling down her window, to forget about how badly she missed that feeling of being madly in love—to forget about a certain person that came to her mind, and that kiss she'd wanted him to give her, only to squeeze her heart and make it ache more.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It was merely a bit more than a week that Matt had stayed in Los Angeles, taking Breana with him to the Australia and New Zealand leg of the AM tour.

If Ella thought it had been horrendously difficult for her to keep up with Alex and the rest of the group when they were in Europe, she'd almost wanted to cry by the time half of the dates were done and she had barely spoken to him, or even Bre for that matter, a handful of times.

They'd never catch each other online, only seeing the messages each other sent hours before and it just multiplied the longing and the great feeling of the distance that separated them tenfold. It was so discouraging and to Ella it just felt like more cruel proof of why it was never gonna happen between them both. For Alex, the deep cut of his despair pushed him towards a sea of realizations that he was too afraid to navigate so he pushed the feelings to the back of his head for the time being.

Ella was following along their shows and whatever promo they were doing over on the other side of the world through Twitter, which had become her main source of updates, and that was how she'd found out Alex and Matt had spent one of their free days in between shows to go to a few radio shows.

One of them was Triple J, and she'd found a link to the full interview from some tweet going around.

With an idiotic smile on her face, Ella listened to Matt and Alex chatting to the radio host, laughing over the way Alex just let Matt take over for him and when the drummer would make him answer something, he'd purposely keep it brief and giving a 'boring answer' as he'd said himself after answering one of the questions.

After a few minutes of chat, the host introduced the acoustic version of 'Do I Wanna Know?' the lads were doing and she smiled like a fool when hearing the first strum of the guitar. She really loved this song.

Softly, she sang along, low enough to just enjoy Matt and Alex's voices. The lyrics were gorgeous and she found herself gushing over Alex's writing talent all over again. The 'darling's he sang made her tummy flutter and she felt the heat rushing to her cheeks.

When the song ended, Ella liked that they included a bit of them messing about and talking about other people's covers of the song they'd just performed, she giggled at the way Alex taunted Matt to answer for him and she wished she was there to actually ask him what he had actually thought of the Miley Cirus cover—one which she was gonna check out after she watched the next video.

The host announced a cover coming next and she was intrigued by the weird clue Matt had given the audience. It sounded like distorted audio and she was so curious to know. Though she still had a giggle at the random and funny chatter going around.

She made a mental note to ask for a 50 Cent song whenever she and the lads were out, because she gasped in surprise when Alex said he'd never experienced one of his songs in the club.

When Matt revealed it was a Tame Impala song, Ella felt her heart leap in her chest. After having a good laugh over Alex saying, "Oh my god, I've gone cross-eyed" as Matt explained all he had done to get that weird audio clip, Ella's hand started getting clammy when Alex said the song they were covering was one she knew very well because of him: 'Feels Like We Only Go Backwards'.

To the forefront of her mind came the memory of the time he had shown it to her, her heart racing again. She came back to reality when Alex said something weird and once she finally tuned in, she realized it was him saying Nick's full name backwards.

She relished in the amusement she got from the brief interaction and the proof that he was in fact saying the full name backwards correctly, but then the host transitioned that into the introduction for the cover and Ella froze in her place.

It was like she was holding her breath up until the first verse, her heart kicking faster against her ribcage like reminding her she needed to breathe.

That song had become something special for her, sometimes hurting a bit too much to hear it come on as it reminded her of the distance between them and all of her hopes dying like forgotten flowers, but hearing him singing it made something shift inside her.

The first verse felt like a shock of electricity, like she came alive by the underlying meaning behind having chosen this song. And when he sang the second one, she stupidly wondered about what it was that he did that showed he had made up his mind about her.

She felt like a fool, trying to find meaning behind a song he hadn't even written himself and then, something dawned on her.

It was like a little voice in her head was calling her a fool and shocked her alive again with the knowledge of what song had been performed before the cover and once Ella remembered the lines to the opening song of their latest record, she felt like the breath had been knocked out of her.

Hastily she went to rewind the video, only to find in the queue of the next videos just the actual video clip of them performing the song in acoustic at the radio station, so she quickly clicked on it and let it play.

Ella had never heard any song in the record thinking they were for or about her—with the exception of 'Arabella' and 'Snap Out Of It'—, but when she heard the first line to 'Do I Wanna Know?' trying to tie any meaning with herself, the first line was like being pulled out of the water after having been under for so long.

Have you got colour in your cheeks? She gasped, her shoulders hung and all she could think about was when did she not have her cheeks tinted shades of pink and red when she was around him.

'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat. She had no idea how it had flown over her head that it was those exact words he'd said to her when he made her listen to the Tame Impala song that night in Rancho de la Luna. And how she'd forgotten about the fact that she was pretty sure this song had been recorded after that night, almost by the end of their recording time.

Suddenly, the pre-chorus and the chorus felt like a knife to the heart. It had been there all along and she'd completely missed it and now she had no idea if it was too late. Was it too late? She didn't know if she could just ask that, if that would even work. And then, she wanted to cry over the fact that it would be a bit over a month until she could finally see him again.

Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so, I wanna know what time it shuts.She reckoned that meant him trying to figure out if she was open to something after going through her heartbreak, and she thought that him resorting to writing a song about it rather than actually telling her anything was exactly what he always did or so Florence said.

It made so much sense, and then Ella got curious about there being any other songs there in the record for her. She had no idea how to figure that out without reaching and turning entirely self-absorbed so to twist every line into something self-referential that wasn't at all what Alex had meant.

It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you, but I don't know if you feel the same as I do.She groaned and let her face fall on her hands and let out a pathetic squeaky cry of frustration. It took her back to the pool when he had cupped her jaw and turned her head to the side to look at him. She couldn't forget the rush she felt at the hope that sparked up her spine when he did that, the stupid hope for a kiss that never came. Not even when he left for the airport.

But we could be together if you wanted to. Her brows furrowed and she confusedly stared into her desk. Did it mean he had always left it up to her to make the next move? Did it mean he was waiting for her to say it all? She thought it was hardly fair, knowing how long it had taken her to put it all together. Hell, it had been well over a year since they had started recording the album and almost a year since they wrapped up recording and it was all ready to go.

Sighing, she let herself enjoy as much as she could there rest of the song, every line now rumbling the walls of her brain more intently and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the meaning of it all and the what-ifs had she realized all of this before.

Once the song was done, it was a masochistic impulse that made her replay the video, only this time she focused on watching Alex as he sang. She cursed herself when she noticed the way she was gawking at Alex on the screen, her gaze going from focusing on his mouth to his hands and then taking in his whole appearance and biting her bottom lip. She had to focus on his face and what she could find shining through his face that could give her answers, and instead she was thirsting over him. As per usual.

When her second watch of the video was over, Lydia knocked on her door interrupting her train of thought, her PA's presence reminding her that she was at work and needed to get back on track.

So Ella couldn't really give into the full over-analysis of everything she wanted to keep doing, and she had to wait all the way until she left work for her to continue her horrendously confusing overthinking session.

She put on the AM cd to play in her car and tears ran down her cheeks by the time 'Arabella' came on. There were so many things she wanted to ask that she just couldn't because she wasn't brave enough to just call him and demand answers and it was frustrating.

It was beyond her understanding why she decided to even grab her phone and pull up Alex's contact to send a message that hinted at her having seen the radio show, hoping with all of her that it was enough for him to know she knew.

(08/05/2014 19:02) I'm so jealous, that beach looks wonderful sweetness!! Though I would be shitting it thinking about sharks, clearly I watch too many movies hahahah. Say hello to the guys for me, yeah? And tell Yellamo he better send me those tim tams he promised me xx

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The Cook's wedding came around rather quickly and it was quite noticeable that Ella's presence was missing that day.

Ella had been sad all morning, sulking in the provisional office they'd given her and the rest of the team in charge of the short film in Boston. Alex kept her updated by sending her loads of pictures around the venue and videos of him walking around, and he had even been begrudgingly allowed to go see the bride with Ella on facetime, she had teared up seeing Katie all done and ready in her gorgeous white gown.

Alex had been lured into staying so Ella could be part of the little toast Katie's family and friends did for her, even giving her the opportunity to partake in it and Katie blew her a kiss through the screen as a thanks for her lovely words.

When the singer went back to the groom's room, Ella congratulated Jamie profusely and wished him the best day of his life. The guitarist thanked her wholeheartedly and raised his champagne glass towards her before taking a sip in cheers to the well wishes.

Alex spared Ella from the ceremony, only texting her after Jamie and Katie walked through the aisle as newlyweds and flower petals were thrown all over them. He sent the video he'd recorded of that moment and did a funny summary for her.

(15/05/2014 12:27) Ceremony was long as always but you would've cried during the vows, I'm so sure. They were oddly emotional coming from Jamie but this might be a sign for me to have him help me write some songs now that I know he has it in him x They look good the Cooks, don't they? I hope the video of them walking down the aisle has sent xx

Ella giggled at the choice of words and she teared up a little more watching the video Alex had sent, the newlyweds were glowing and she was so fucking happy for them her heart could burst inside her chest.

(15/05/2014 12:39) They look fucking stunning!! I'm gonna cry!!!! x And stop being nasty, we shall see if your wedding vows are any better than his when the time comes, Turner x

He had no idea why the idea of his own wedding with Ella in attendance made his heart kickstart like it had been asleep, it suddenly raced in his chest and it rattled so loudly in his ears that he felt sort of lightheaded.

(15/05/2014 12:41) Are you gonna rate my vows then? xx

Alex waited for the answer as he fidgeted in his seat. The flashing image of his wedding not having Ella as a guest but as the one who'd walk up to him left him breathless and he clutched his phone tighter. This was the first time he ever thought of it and the feeling that flooded his insides was nice, warm and fuzzy and just entirely perfect.

That was when it all started dawning on him, that notion which he had been pushing away into hiding at the back of his head for so long—that was the moment it started creeping out to meet him.

(15/05/2014 12:42) I'll be front row giving you live commentary on them, with sound effects and all xx

The singer had no idea what to do with himself and the sudden void in his chest from that answer. Did she not share the vision he had? And even more importantly, was he really this despaired at the prospect of her not fantasizing about it too? He swallowed it all when Miles and Nick called out for him to join them as they were about to light the cigarettes perched between their lips, quickly typing a message to send Ella in response before hiding his phone in one of his pockets.

(15/05/2014 12:43) Of course. Best seats for you darling, if that ever happens x

Ella didn't even get the chance to see that message come through because the couple of the hour called her through Facetime. Turns out Katie had waited until after the ceremony to finally give Jamie the lovely gift she and Ella had come up with before she left LA that day. Ella quickly snuck away to the lunch area of the office that was almost empty by then since it was gonna be a short day at the office due to the next day being an early shoot, and she freely was able to enjoy the call with the couple.

"Remember how Ella said she was gonna make it up to us?" Katie almost sing-sang as she walked up to where she'd left the book which had been sent by Ella all the way from LA already wrapped up and with a cute little note.

Ella watched from where Katie had set her up how Jamie's brows furrowed in confusion at the topic being brought up, "Yeah?"

"Well it's your turn to see how that went." Katie walked gracefully up to her husband and bent over just enough to throw her arms around his shoulders and place the present on his lap, leaving a kiss on his cheek before saying, "Enjoy."

Katie straightened up with her hands still on Jamie's shoulders as he carefully undid the wrapping and the bride shared an excited look with Ella through the screen. They both returned their gazes back to the groom who was about to grace them with a million dollar reaction that Ella wished she could've recorded.

Jamie's jaw dropped when he opened the leather bound book and saw the first picture, his face lighting up in flames and turning him into a shade of red Ella had never seen on him before. His eyes were wide and his smirk grew bigger as he slowly flipped through the pages.

Ella knew exactly when he got to the more naughty ones because he had to close the book to turn around and see his wife, letting out a shaky breath that both Ella and Katie laughed over. When he opened the book again and continued looking through the last ones, he wiped his face with his hand and cursed a low, "Fucking hell." as he shifted in his seat.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this red, Cookie." Ella taunted him but he didn't budge his gaze from the book.

They watched as he couldn't help himself from going back to admire the pictures once again and when he deemed it was enough gawking for the time being, he let the book rest on the table beside him and pulled his wife swiftly on his lap to pounce on her lips.

Katie broke the hungry kiss in between giggles to ask, "Did you like it?"

And Ella chuckled when he growled and nodded, mumbling a quick, "Fucking loved it." before he leaned in to kiss his wife with desperation all over again.

Merely five seconds went by but Ella wanted to tease them for the show they were putting on so she cleared her throat dramatically loud before she said, "Right, I don't wanna be on the phone witnessing your unofficial porno." which prompted them to stop with laughter.

Ella melted when she saw them laugh against each other with the foreheads pressed together before Katie stood up and went to pick up the phone from where she'd propped it up.

The model pouted at the camera and sighed, "I wish you were here to party with us, Ellie."

And Ella matched her pout and the sadness seeped through her words as she assured, "I know but I will be in Alex's phone all night so don't worry."

Jamie came up behind Katie and rested his chin on her shoulder so he could thank Ella once more, "Thank you for that Ellie, it was a fucking perfect gift."

The giggles that came from Ella made the pair smile softly, "You're so very welcome. There's another one more PG but just as beautiful nonetheless, because it's all your gorgeous wife in that one as well."

"Oh yes!" Katie brightened up remembering that Ella also made her a book with the pictures she took of her when they did that shoot at her house, "I'll show him that one later, I left it somewhere in the house."

"Well I hope you love it just as much." Ella smiled softly and sent them a blown kiss through the screen after she added, "Have the best night guys, love you lots!"

With kisses blown from the newlyweds and lots of love sent back to her, Ella finished the call and with that she realized she could go back to her office and get her things to go back to the hotel suite she was staying at in time for Alex to call her during the peak of the party.

By the time she got back to the hotel, she walked into her hotel room to a handful of videos waiting for her in her messages. One was of Alex showing her around the place where the reception was going to be held at, there were another two which captured clips of the toasts people did for the newlyweds which ended up making Ella cry and a few more that showed the party just starting and the group throwing shots back and starting to dance.

Ella made herself a quick lunch—heating some pizza leftovers from the night before—and then she went to shower. Once she had finished blow drying her hair, she opened her messages again to a flood of videos coming from Alex, as well as a pair of missed facetime calls.

She rang him back but he didn't pick up and, from the videos she saw, she could guess that it was because of the loud music that he didn't catch her incoming calls.

About half an hour passed without any more videos and before she could text him to claim he was failing at keeping her updated, her phone rang with a facetime call from the singer.

She expected loud music so she prepared herself for the disturbance to her ears but when she accepted the call, her ears were blessed with Alex's smooth voice greeting her.

"Hi, darling. What you doing?" He instantly noticed that she was in the bathroom, wearing some flannel shorts that showed her thigh tattoo and a shirt long enough to cover most of the shorts, with some sort of mixture on her face.

She leaned into the mirror as she applied some lip balm, pressing her lips together and puckering them up before taking a step back and looking into the camera, she shrugged with a small smile on her face, "Nothing, just relaxing. How's the party going?"

"Good, good." Alex replied nonchalantly, his next words coming muffled because of him placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it up effortlessly, "Just needed a breather."

"Oh where are you?" Ella asked curiously, seeing the dangling lights behind him that let her see the ivy snaking up a brick wall.

"Having a smoke in the garden." He let out the smoke he had inhaled to continue explaining his decision to come outside, "Even though everyone being wankered already is entertaining, it's not the same without you."

Ella had to really fight against herself not to coo and pout, instead she gave him a toothy smile and a raise of her brows to taunt him, "Yeah, no one forcing you to dance, is there?"

Easily, Alex stated, "Miles is trying." and it made Ella laugh loudly.

Puffing her chest out, she smirked and shrugged before proudly saying, "Miles doesn't have you wrapped around his little finger." wiggling her little finger for the camera to further her point.

And there was no denying that, Alex showed her a loopy smile as he shook his head and agreed, "He sure doesn't."

Watching him smoke never got old, and it surely was making her get flustered but, on top of that, she could feel the taste of the nicotine on her tongue just from watching him and she whined at the craving that shook her with force, "You're making me wanna go out for a cig."

"What's stopping you?" Alex challenged her easily and she sighed.

"I'm too lazy to go outside and I have this on my face." She pointed at the drying face mask she had on, he giggled at the look of it but then noticed how bright it was in the room she was in and it definitely looked like natural lighting.

"You got back early today, huh." The few days before he had managed to sneak a quick facetime call with her, she'd still been at the new office and she would call him back way later when she was back at the hotel, and that usually was when it was about to be three in the morning for him, so he was surprised to see her back in her room when it was still bright outside.

She smiled at his smart observation and nodded, "A miracle isn't it?" She played with the ends of her hair as she explained, "We had an early day today because we have to be at the office by five tomorrow morning, we're shooting all day so we were given a long rest before that."

"All day long?" Alex raised his brows at the information.

"Mhm. We're due in set at half past five and we're not leaving until midnight probably. We have a lot of night scenes to shoot so..."

"This is the short film right?" He made sure to remember correctly, his head scrambled from the tumultuous day.

"Yep." Ella nodded proudly, she still couldn't believe she was in charge of such a big project.

Alex hummed as he took a drag of smoke, "Are there any more directors working with you?"

And once again, Ella proudly replied, "Just me. But I have the writer of the screenplay with me to make sure I follow her vision."

The smile that broke in Alex's face gleamed just as brightly as his eyes did, and she wasn't sure if it was the reflection of the screen on his eyes or the dwindling lights littered around the garden but she enjoyed it nonetheless and was filled with a warmth that she loved so much when he said, "I'm so fucking proud of you Ellie." almost breathlessly.

She couldn't help herself from smiling as big as the drying face mask allowed her, "Thank you sweetness. You're so cute." She winced and dropped her smile when the drying mask pinched on the skin of her cheek and Alex laughed noticing that.

"You look very cute right now." He teased with a smirk, though it wasn't necessarily untrue—she looked adorable and he almost wanted to sigh and swoon like an enamored idiot.

"Oh don't. I've been looking horrendous since I got here so I wanted to do a facemask." She attributed it to the change of climate, but she'd seen the tub of face mask mixture when she was walking past the aisles of the grocery store and she'd decided to buy it and see if it helped at all.

Alex, as flattering as ever, easily refuted her words, "I seriously doubt that but okay."

"Only 'cause you've not seen me in person this past week." Ella sighed, looking at herself in the mirror again and feeling ridiculous with the drying mixture on her skin, "I look rough."

"Why is it cracking?" The singer was entirely confused by the way it had changed color and it had started cracking with the pass of time.

Ella shrugged, picking up the bottle that contained the face mask mixture, "It's some sort of clay mask or something like that. I dunno." She heard him snickering then and she looked down at the screen again with a glare, "I know I look silly right now, but don't even."

Alex raised his free hand in the air to claim innocence, "What? I didn't even say anything!"

But Ella narrowed her eyes and pointed an accusing finger at him, "You were thinking it!" She called him out and his expression only grew more amused, "I know you, Turner."

There was something in him that kept sparking up, like two stones crashing and crashing and he knew that soon enough a fire would start. The sparks shot warmth up his spine already and made his head all dizzy, he doubted it was just the nicotine's effect.

"Sure, sure." He joked halfheartedly, thought his stomach flipped at the way she truly just knew him so well.

Before she could come up with another witty comment to chat back at him, she heard the familiar start of one of her favorite ABBA songs and she froze in her place for a second, holding her breath to make sure it was the one she thought and when she confirmed it by just faintly hearing the first few words, she whined loudly, "Oh stop! That's one of my favorites!"

Like it was the most logical thing to ask, she demanded, "Alex, go back inside and dance for me."

Alex looked at her through the screen and swallowed his laughter before shaking his head, "Sorry darling, I would do anything for you, just not that." It wasn't entirely a lie, but maybe if she begged a little he would rush back inside just to dance to Voulez-Vous for her on the phone.

"Why are you like this?! It's a good song!" She complained as the song started building up to the first chorus.

Alex annoyingly pointed out, "No one's stopping you from dancing to it right now." and that made her glare at him through the screen before she scrambled out of the frame to get a hand towel and wet it with warm water from the tap.

Without noticing, she started softly mumbling along the song as she focused on whipping slowly the dried mixture off her face.

He let her continue without saying a thing for a few seconds before he couldn't just not point it out so he said, "See?" and once again, earned a glare from her.

Only this time, she sang louder and danced more wholeheartedly, swaying her hips and moving her shoulders as she messily continued wiping the face mask off.

Alex smiled like an idiot at his phone, so entranced by Ella and her moves and her big smile and the way she was singing that she didn't notice someone had come outside and seen him, and was slowly approaching him in silence.

The sudden, "Al?" startled him and made him choke on the smoke he had inhaled.

He turned around coughing once before he saw who it was and he switched his pained grimace for a soft smile, "Oh, hi Alexa."

The second she heard the sudden voice, Ella stopped her loud and horrible singing and changed it to humming along with the tune and softly swaying her hips to not interrupt whatever interaction was about to happen.

The model smiled back at him and asked, "What are you doing out here alone?"

Alex lifted the half of the cigarette he had left to wordlessly tell her what he was doing, but then he turned the screen of his phone for her to see that he was in fact, "Not alone."

"Oh!" Alexa giggled, noticing the girl on Alex's phone and waved at her enthusiastically, "Hi!"

Ella looked at the screen when she heard the greeting ring through her speakers and when she saw Alex's ex on the screen, she felt so ugly with the stupid mask still on the bridge of her nose and one of her cheeks, whilst the gorgeous model looked flawless in her perfect makeup and dress.

She had never seen her before, other than the one time she googled her after the girls had told her that Alexa had been Alex's girlfriend when she met the singer, but she still felt so incredibly intimidated and an uncomfortable bitter and burning feeling settled in the pits of her chest.

Still, she put on a shy smile and waved back with a soft, "Hi!"

Alex retracted his phone after that and before he could continue speaking to Ella, Alexa asked, "Mind if I pinch one?"

Alex nodded, resting the cigarette between his lips to use the now free hand to pull out his packet and lighter and offer it to her. There was a heavy silence as Alexa picked a cigarette out and lit it up, taking a long drag and sighing in bliss. The sound of it somehow sounded louder than the music coming faintly from the party and Ella was then painfully aware that the moment she had with Alex had been cut.

So, fighting the pout that wanted to show on her face, she patted her face dry after having gotten everything off her skin and let him go, "I'll leave you to it, sweets. Enjoy yourself and keep the videos coming, please?"

Alex clearly let his sadness show with a childish pout that had Ella smiling like a fool, and she had to bite her bottom lip not to smile bigger when he sweetly replied, "Of course, darling. I'll call you later, yeah?"

"Okay sweets, it's a plan. Love you!" Ella's sweet tone rang through the speakers of his phone and Alexa couldn't help raising her brow in curiosity at the words that the unknown girl had just said.

And the model's curiosity heightened when she noticed the way Alex's cheeks had tinted pink, but it somehow was clear when she heard him say, "Love you too darling, bye!" back.

It might've been a long while since Alexa had spent time with Alex but, at the end of the day, there was a time she knew him as well as the back of her hand and so she wanted to know who it was that had stolen the singer's heart.

"Who was that?" Alexa asked genuinely curious, her voice had a timbre of amusement like she was teasing him that made Alex blush even more.

"Ella." He choked out, like a giggle was stuck in his throat. "She's uh..." He wanted to explain further because he knew Alexa could see through him at that very moment but there wasn't any other term to refer to Ella other than, "My best friend."

He wished there was more, but he couldn't just say she was the girl that plagued his dreams, or the one he wished was dragging him to the dancefloor of the party. The girl who he wanted to escape to the garden with to share a smoke and laugh about their drunk friends. The girl he wanted to take pictures and videos of all night and keep them all like a treasure in his stupid phone to watch back when he was on tour. The girl who he wished had caught the bouquet Katie threw and looked at him like it was a sign for them to share that unbreakable promise that didn't seem so scary if it was shared with her.

The fog was clearing up even more, something inside of him slowly shifting.

"Right." Alexa smirked, her voice coated in sarcasm that just told him how she didn't believe that one bit. She frowned though, noticing the way she was absent in such a big event for the group,  "Was she not invited?"

Alex took another drag before he answered, "She was. She just couldn't make it 'cos of work: she's filming this short film in Boston to submit to a film festival."

Alexa's brows shot up in wonder, "Oh so she's a filmographer?"

Alex nodded and explained further, "She's a director and photographer. Works with Ben and Aaron, they're all from Focus Creeps and the three usually record our music videos."

That's when she realized just how acquainted they must be, knowing just how many music videos the band had put out for the latest record. "Oh right, from LA then?" It was obvious that she was, the American accent giving the girl away but Alexa was nosey in a good way.

"Mhm. She's from Tennessee actually, but lives in LA." Alex felt the need to correct.

Alexa smirked once again then, coming closer to him just to nudge his hip with hers and tease, "Ooo a cowgirl."

Alex chuckled as heat traveled up to his face yet again, "A cowgirl."

"She sounds cool." Alexa said genuinely, she also looked cool with her Arctic Monkeys shirt on, that septum piercing she'd managed to notice on her and the many earrings littering her ears, as well as the tattoos on her skin.

"She really is." Alex reminisced about all that came to be Ella and he sighed. He really missed her.

When he looked down at his phone and saw the group picture that he had as a lockscreen of everyone at Glastonbury, he perked up and started chatting about her, "You should see the pictures she takes, she's fucking amazing."

All it took was Alexa saying, "Show me?" for Alex to unlock his phone and pull up Ella's instagram for Alexa to see.

The model scrolled through her Instagram page and her jaw fell the more she found. Not only did she find the pictures she'd take of landscapes and cities gorgeous, but the pictures of herself that she had posted were hot.

"Oh she's fit." Alexa concluded with a raise of her brows, as if silently congratulating Alex for being able to pull such a stunning woman.

"She's a photographer but not a model?" Alexa asked intrigued, she kept scrolling down and clicking on one that Alex knew very well: that picture of her wearing only a silver bikini and cowboy boots, leaning backwards on her forearms on her motorcycle with a cowboy hat that hid her face almost entirely, except for her agape mouth that made it look like she was moaning. "Why?! She's stunning and she already looks like one."

"I know! She should be one." Alex spoke like it brought him relief to hear someone agree with him, but he actually explained the reasoning Ella had once given him, "She doesn't enjoy being in front of the camera that much. At least not with strangers."

Alexa nodded, completely understanding the point, her gaze still caught up by the pictures on Ella's page. When she pulled one up of the girl naked and only covered by a flimsy white dress that was completely see-through under the sun in the picture, Alexa caught the singer just gawking and so she elbowed him to taunt him, "You'd like it if she was one, wouldn't you?"

Alex rolled his eyes, before shoving her playfully, "Oh shush." and Alexa laughed loudly at the way he continued to blush.

"When did you meet her?" She asked as she handed Alex his phone back.

And it was obvious how he froze in his place for a few seconds before pocketing his phone and then he warily replied, "Erm... Remember back in 2011 when me and the lads went to LA to record the Brick by Brick video?"

His ex's brows shot up when she realized it had been that long, "Ohhhh! Since then?"

"Yeah." Alex confirmed awkwardly, knowing that he had still been with her when he met Ella.

Just to mess with him, Alexa frowned and called him out in faux seriousness, "You never mentioned her." But when the model saw Alex's face fall and pale, she cackled loudly and corrected, "I'm joking!"

Still, Alex seemed like he was having a hard time even swallowing his own spit so Alexa taunted him once more but this time a bit more lightheartedly, "How many songs on the new record are about her then?"

It seemed it wasn't as lighthearted as she expected because he looked pained when she mumbled, "Alexa..." as if he was asking for mercy.

"What? I know you." Alexa shrugged, "I'll send you my guesses the next time I listen to it."

When Alex threw the bud of his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it, Alexa thought he was gonna walk out on her and leave her with an itch she couldn't scratch, so before that could even happen, she quickly blurted out, "Has she got a boyfriend?"

"No." Alex's voice was barely a whisper and if she wasn't right next to him then she wouldn't have heard him.

She cocked her head in confusion, it was clear that he fancied her so she had no idea why he hadn't made a move to get her already. "Then what's wrong?"

In total despair to be reminded of it all, Alex sighed heavily as he rubbed one of his eyes like he was tired of having to be in such a predicament, "I'm on tour."

He sounded so devastated by that simple fact that the corners of her lips fell in a pout and she side hugged him as she sadly cooed, "Awh, Al..."

It seemed like he needed the space to speak about it because, totally unprompted, Alex started talking, "She's wonderful, and I don't even think she likes me if I'm being honest. Florence says it's obvious she does but– I just don't want to fuck things up. Already did before and I'm afraid of losing her entirely if I take one wrong step."

Alexa sighed, feeling for her friend and took a few seconds to gather her thoughts to give an objective perspective on it, "If my opinion counts for anything, from just those few seconds I saw you on the phone to her, I can tell that there is certainly something there."

"Do you think?" Alex perked up at the thought. maybe if someone else could see it, especially if it was someone outside of their close group of friends, then it really meant there was a chance.

His heart leaped in his chest, and the wave of words he had been holding back for so long seemed to want to come out even if Ella wasn't there to hear. He just wanted to scream every thought that came to him about her out loud.

"Yeah, it was written all over her face." Alexa assured him with an honest smile.

Suddenly, he blurted out, "I see her again in June. We're playing in this festival in her hometown and she goes religiously every year. She cried when I told her we were in the lineup."

Alexa tried not to giggle at the sudden word vomit coming from him, and instead cooed over the fact that what he'd just said would happen, "Bless her! That's gonna be so special."

"It'll be. And I just can't wait to see her again and this time in her hometown. She came around to see us at Glasto and it was just— I can't even put into words how it felt having her here, at home, during that time. So I'm just really impatient for June and to see her in her home and just being all that she is at her core, you know?"

There was the word vomit again, Alexa hummed entirely amused by the way it was so obvious on his face, so she smirked again and decided to be more blunt about taunting him, "You really like her, don't you?"

And that was when that notion that had been creeping out of the corners of his mind jumped at him at full force, making him almost stumble in his feet. 'Like' wasn't enough to convey all that he felt when he thought of her, when she called or texted him, when he saw her in pictures, when he was able to have her in the same room as him and much less when he had her right there next to him.

I just wasn't enough and it would be unfair to downplay it, not when he ached so much to say it all to her and the first step was finally letting himself come to terms with it and god, didn't it feel freeing and like a massive weight lifting off his shoulders when he finally opened his mouth and started saying, "I think I'm–"

Alex stopped himself there, shaking his head like his thoughts had gotten blurry and it was stupid to use the words 'I think', because he was sure by then, there was no other way to describe it.

And so he said it correctly this time, "No. I am in love with her."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: It took him long enough, didn't it? What do you think will happen now that he's finally come to the realisation? I'm eager to hear your predictions heheheh. Finally being able to write that last scene was so fulfilling, I've had that planned out for so long and I'm just so excited for you all to read it!! We're so close to the end, it is actually so damn sad </3 But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one and I hope to see you soon with the next one. Sending you lots of love, have a great weekend!! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

thor as your s/o headcanons!!

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 560

request: yes / no

original request: heyy! idk if you write abt thor, but if you’re willing would you be able to do just some generic headcanons about being his s/o &lt;3

dynamic: thor odinson x reader

characters: reader, thor odinson

a/n: thank you for this request!! i love thor sm omg <33 hopefully it's good-- i haven't done s/o headcanons in a while lol :D in general news, requests are still open, just send in an ask!

taglist: @nutellani @thecloudedmind

(fill out this form if you'd like to be on my taglist!!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

thor is the sweetest ever

and when i say ever i mean EVER

i’d say he would be the type to make you breakfast every morning

like very stereotypical movie rom-com romantic

he’s always really enthusiastic

thor is totally willing to try anything like any time you go on a date you do something different

once you went rock climbing

idk why that’s just what i thought of HAH

he didn’t really like it though because the rocks were all “too small and too slippery”

so he just sat on the side the rest of the time to cheer you on

OO AND ONCE YOU WENT BOWLING

and well…

thor doesn’t always know his own strength

so he chucks the ball super easily

and sometimes it’ll go in other people’s lanes

but usually they don’t mind because it’s a strike anyway

he also insists on playing with the bumpers up 

i feel like he would bring you home anything that looks interesting

and he always wraps the things up in wrapping paper

and y’all

that man fr can wrap a gift

they always look immaculate

here’s how it goes

so you’ll come home and he’ll already be at the door

and he always has this little smile

this like mischievous yet pure smile

and a sparkle in his eye

when i say sparkle i mean like a sparkle fr he’s adorable

anyways he’ll always have his hands behind his back

and he’ll say 

“ close your eyes and hold out your hands!! “

and you’ll just grin bc you know what’s coming ofc

but once you open it the thing could be anything from a cake to a lampshade

yes you read that right

a lampshade

he just thought it looked pretty !!!!!

and so it reminded him of you :) 

awwwwwwwww

omg thor is a blanket hog

that’s just facts

like you’ll be on the couch watching something & you’ll feel the blanket start to move slightly

and then more

and then more

and you’ll say something 

AND HE LITERALLY PRETENDS TO BE ASLEEP 

so you just let him have it

he also calls you a lot

like a lot a lot

he leaves messages

just to tell you little things

“ hey, y/n!! look outside!! there’s a rainbow!! goodbye!!”

“ hello y/n. there’s a big threat to the universe right now so i will be home late for dinner. i am so sorry! goodbye!!”

“ y/n!!! it’s me, thor! i think we should consider getting a young dog. i believe it would be fun!! goodbye!!”

i also think he would discover emojis later than everyone else

and so he thinks they’re really cool

ummmm he also buys you a lot of matching stuff

like keychains & hats & shirts

it’s so cute

OH 

i also think he likes to sing to you

guys ik it’s cheesy BUT 

he actually has a really nice voice.

he really likes frank sinatra & ella fitzgerald & that era of music

but also the man can whip out some mean rihanna if he wants to!!

like i said before he’s just the sweetest

ok last thing

yk when it’s dark & you have clothes in the corner of your room and you think it’s a monster

he thinks that a lot

like he’ll just yell in the middle of the night

& he makes you investigate it LMAO

IDK HE’S JUST THE BEST

-----------------------✰----------------------

[nomniki]

☕️ kim seungmin soulmate au ♡ ^ ㅇ ^

۫    ⊹   . ۫     ⛄️  ꒰   you run away from all your problems— rejection in the eighth grade, confrontation in all its forms, that one overly friendly coworker from your summer job— it’s almost second nature. unfortunately for you, the universe has ensured that kim seungmin will be the one problem you can’t run from.

★ ━━ or in which   you really hate kim seungmin, but you don’t have to tell him that— the universe has its own special way of letting him know.

✉️   duration  feb 14 — ?

✉️   ella’s note  the long anticipated semi spin off to star lost!!! thank u to that one anon who asked if id ever write a soulmate au for min and thank u bee for actually giving me the idea for their soulmate mark and thank u for reading if u do 🤍

✉️   warnings/disclaimers  TECHNICALLY this is a spin off from another smau i wrote— star lost— and there will be minor references to that fic in this one, so to fully enjoy this fic i would totally recommend u read that first!! not many warnings just language, sex jokes, all the regular stuff i believe

✉️   taglist  @ihrtjun @viagumi @vixensss @luvrhyune @sheraayasher @aestheticsluut @sweetrabbit pls send an ask to be added !

da profiles ━━ we them girls ★ chan’s babygirls

chapter 1, streets are saying

chapter 2, kind of sus bro

chapter 3, the secret to twitter fame

chapter 4, our girl interrupted

chapter 5, idk

[barcalover86]

GAVI ONE SHOT part 3

THE END - The last time

Little spoiler alert - Gavi is fighting for his life-

Summary: Despite your love for each other, you both know that you can't be together.

angst!!!!!

Part 2 here👆

Adele- Set Fire To The Rain

He felt like the world was spinning. He couldn't see right because of his tears in his eyes. Everybody panicked when they saw the 18 year old boy at the edge of his life.

His face was pale with no emotions. Doctors were shouting at him to say something or at least to give a sign.

He could hear them, and that hurt him the most. He wanted to hear your voice, he was desperate for the touch of your sound.

Why open his eyes when he wouldn't see you? Why waste his energy for nothing.

"Gavi, stay here with us" one doctor said.

Xavi was now panicking the most. What was wrong with his boy? His little-big player, his son.

He was hurt and hoping that everything was going to be alright.

The match was going, Barca was winning, but no one was really watching it. Every thought on the stadium was for Gavi. People were praying for the player.

Gavi now was in the ambulance, on his way to the hospital.

You were in front of your tv panicking. What happened to him? You took your phone shaking and tried to call some people you knew for you to know more details about his condition.

You called and called but of course no one was answering. They still had an important match to win.

Two days passed. You didn't know one detail about Gavi. No one would want to tell you anything saying only to pray for him. You couldn't sleep being afraid that when you weren't awake, something could happen to him.

You begged God to help him. He has his life in front of him, he can't die now.

Another few days went by, and you still didn't know anything. While you were trying to keep up with school work, Xavi was staying with the boy.

He was ok now, no longer in the hospital. These days, he had to stay home, far away from training.

He missed you. You were the reason for his happiness and pain. You missed him, so why was the reason you both didn't know anything about each other?

"Can I ask you anything? But to be honest with me" Gavi asked his couch.

"Por supuesto"

"Why don't you want to tell me anything about her?"

Xavi remained silent.

"Is she still in Barcelona?"

You were still working for the club. The day you talked with Xavi before the match, he told you he can't fire you. You were still young, and making mistakes was something totally ok, but he couldn't just go past by what happened before punishing you somehow. He assured you that you could still work here, but only helping older players, over 25 years old. You had to do your job right, and while you were in your free time, you could see anyone, even Gavi.

You were so thankful for his forgiveness, but without Gavi, things weren't the same.

"Si, Pablo. She is still in Barcelona. What did you expect of me? To send her away?"

"Ella esta bien?"

"Un poco cansada"

Gavi felt relieved that you were still here, but at the same time, it was so sad that he couldn't see you. His heart begged for your presence.

While you were at work, you asked Lewa about Pablo, and he told you that what he knows is that right now, he is good and healthy, with no dangers.

Now, 1 month passes since you last saw each other. It was already vacation for the players and you, as well.

You saw that Gavi was with his sister. He looked healthy, and that made you a little happier. You could write to him, but think that he won't answer you because he wasn't following you back.

When you first saw each other, it has been 3 months. You were both invited to a party where all the Barca members were.

Seeing each other was something that you both needed. Smiling at each other, you went to said hi to him. He replied with a soft smile, talking after about these months.

You both realised how stupid you were for not texting each other because of the same reason.

When you were talking, Gavi was looking at you with love. His eyes were sparkling with adoration. He accidentally fell in love and he couldn't forgive himself for this.

Falling in love with someone you can't have was hard. Knowing that you can be together only in dreams can put you in a hard period of life.

He was truly happy when he played football. That's what he thought all his life, but when he felt your presence around him, he felt like he his heart was dancing.

He wanted to kiss your lips but was afraid of shouting you and not hearing your voice anymore.

When he was around you, you couldn't stop smiling. Your heart accepted somehow his without your approval. You claimed his love and he claimed yours.

You knew before he laid his eyes on you that you loved him. You knew that he was the only boy that you'll ever want.

But when you want something too bad, you'll eventually lose it.

And that was your case.

The moment when you felt your heart be destroyed was when you got a call from your mom telling you to go immediately home. Your dad had passed away.

You had to be there with your family, and when you left, saying your goodbyes to your people, you cried.

You loved this place with all your heart, and leaving it, even for a short period, was devastating your soul. Here you made friends, family..

You stayed home for some time. You tried messaging Pablo to stay in contact with him, but it felt like he disappeared. He never responded to your messages, and when you decided it was time to continue your career, you went back to Barcelona.

Everyone was happy to see you, except Gavi. He never looked at you. Not even once by accident. He ignored you and felt like he never met you.

First, you were confused, and just then, the realisation hit you. Of course, how could Pablo Gavi love you?

You were just a poor girl that her father just died. Not even having 100 followers on her insta account. Why would the famous football player wanna date you?

At this point, all you wanted to be was his friend. At least be someone he knows. You couldn't believe him.

He couldn't believe himself either. Every time you were working, he was looking at you.

Sometimes, he was staying at your door just to hear your voice, every time smiling sadly. He truly did love you and that won't ever chance.

But he wanted you to be happy and he knew that with him, nothing was possible. You deserve someone who spends their time with, someone who makes you happy and can give you a family.

He couldn't. He was a football player. Who would wanna date one when all he does is be busy? But you wanted it. You wanted it with all costs.

Your love for him will never die and his love for you as well.

You never understood his behaviour, not even today.

But even though you were already over, you two can't help yourself for looking over at each other.

You till this day remember your last talk. It was the last time you felt truly alive. You never knew that that it was the last time you will see his eyes looking at you. The last time.

But if you knew his reason..would you make him understand that all you want is him?

How can you live with only his lips on your neck?

You wanted him all.

But why to try something that he doesn't want?

Why you? Why him?

"Everytime I am gonna see a girl, I'll remember her. And everytime I'm gonna love another, if that is possible, I'm gonna thank her because she made me a better man. A man that is possible of love. A man that would cross countries to be at her father's funeral and she will never know"

-The End

I hope you enjoyed this short story! ❤️

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Hi, first of all your fic is amazing, well written and just perfect. But I have couple of requests - 1. Can you describe to me how the children of Yorick's and Ella's children ? - it will be really cool. 2. Can you write Rhaenyra more kindly - I know that you lean more to the green side (me too) but I just feel that you are going to make her "evil" - but she isn't, she is indeed very self absorbed but she was groomed by daemon. (Don't get me wrong not all blame is on him, but still). So I just wanted to ask from you to not make her "evil" - just human with problems and etc.... ( of course, only if you wish too ) 3. Can you make Yorick's and Ella's children to be friends with Rhaenyra's children too ? 4. How does their children ( Yorick and Ella) see their grandfather daemon ? Do they even meet him ?

Again, your fanfic is amazing and I really really like it, one of the best in the fandom. So thank you for this beautiful fanfic ❤️

Oh my God, this is so incredibly sweet thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask! I'm gonna answer in parts since it's so long & you have so many questions (which, I am not upset about, I genuinely enjoy in depth talks about my fic. I just don't want to forget to address something!

So, the fic is going to go on long enough that we meet & spend time with Yorick & Ella's children & some of them are going to get POVs! I don't want to spoil all of that, so I'm going to keep it kind of vague, I hope you don't mind!

Yorick & Shireen are going to have 7 by the time we reach the end of season 1/they're done having kids: Rhea (who's face reference is Anna Popplewell, & she has hetrochromia like her Aunt Ella. I have some art of her here. She's gonna be shipped with a canon character, feel free to speculate 💕), Stannis (he's introduced as a toddler in the chapter I'm currently working on & am maybe half way done with? His face reference is Skandar Keynes & I've written about his relationship so I feel like I can just drop his relationship with Helaena here), Baldric (who's face reference is Ferdia Walsh-Peelo, & he's the same age as Daeron & Jace), Myranda (who's face reference is Georgie Henley. There's a distinct pattern going on here, lmao), Yorbert (no face reference, because he's super young & I don't like looking for FCs that young), Argella, & Laenor.

Ella & Robert are going to have 3 kids: Griffith (who's face reference is Harry Gilby), & the twins Aerea & Adrienne (who both use Olivia Hussey as a face reference).

Stannis, Griffith, & Baldric are gonna be Aegon's Teenage Bro Squad, with Stannis & Griffith very much being the voices of reason in this squad. Rhea is going to develop a friendship with Helaena, as well as being besties with her cousin Abby (who was made by the lovely @emilykaldwen), & I honestly don't know if there is a voice of reason in that friend group. The girls are doing great though. Myranda & "The Rose Twins" are a bit up in the air beyond "I know they're friends with each other," but honestly I've got so much time to figure them out. Those girls are all only 14/13 by the time The Dance starts.

Hard agree with you on Rhaenyra not being evil & just being a flawed individual who had some of her worst traits exacerbated by her grooming & relationship with Daemon, as well as Viserys enabling her at most turns. I think the issue with my writing of her seeming mostly uncharitable in this particular fic is just that we aren't really delving into her POV & we're just seeing her actions as interpreted through those on the receiving end, for better or worse. That said, I would definitely be open to writing side drabbles & rehashes of scenes from her POV if anyone had suggestions or the like. If you're super interested in a Definitely More Overtly Kind reading of our dear Rhaenyra, my next fic I plan on working on might be for you! Once SOTF is wrapped up (y'know, eventually), I'm going to sit down & plot an AU about a sister-by-Aemma OC, & that fic is going to be as much about their sisterly relationship (& it's improvement over the years) as it is going to be about the OC's relationship with a certain Master Of Ships. I've already written a drabble set in that fic from Rhaenyra's POV if you want to check it out!

TBH, I am not 100% sure what the Yoreen & Robella kids' relationships with Jace & Luke is going to be. They're not really going to have as much exposure to them as they are the Targtowers just by virtue of the slow degradation of Rhaenyra's & the Twins' relationship, but they're not going to be unfriendly to them, they don't really have a lot of reason to be. Honestly, it'll probably be like my relationship with my own cousins "I like them when I'm around them, but we never spent time together growing up, so we aren't close." If it makes you feel better, my very unserious but incredibly fun modern AU has Rhaenyra's sons as fully integrated parts of the friend group. Everyone is doing a lot better in the modern AU & no one dies (well, except Alicent's mom & Aemma. RIP queens, y'all served while you were here)

And hoo boy, the Grandpa Daemon question. I was actually talking about that with Nat/emilykaldwen this morning so you have wonderful timing, lmao. It's very complicated. The ones who are alive at the time (Rhea, Stannis, Griffith, Baldric, Aerea & Adrienne, Myranda, & Yorbert) don't meet their grandpa until Laena's funeral, but they're all kids & Yorbert is only 3. The two youngest (& in a way, Yorbert too) don't meet him until Rhaenyra & Daemon come to King's Landing to push for Luke inheriting Driftmark.

The oldest ones all know "we don't talk about Grandpa Daemon," & they do their best to keep the youngest ones away from him while their child brains are only parsing that they don't want to get in trouble with their parents--they don't know the reasons for anything yet, they just know "we don't talk about Grandpa Daemon." It gets more complicated for them as they get older & learn more about their family history, & honestly I don't think any of the oldest ones like him, but in that kind of abstract way where "someone I love doesn't like this person, so I don't like them either even though I don't know them like my loved one does." Myranda has the best relationship with him because she's mostly neutral on him. She actually seeks Daemon out at Laena's funeral because she wants to meet her other grandpa, but they never really bond. He would like to bond with his grandkids, I think, but he kind of burned that bridge of having that particular family when he murdered his oldest kids' mom. Like, he looks at Yorick's kids & Ella's kids, & even though he hasn't met them he's just sprinkled all over that gene pool, & he can see it & he wants to interact, but those kids have all been told not to hang out with him & it's just really messy & honestly kind of sad within the fic's existing/upcoming text. Once again though, modern AU is very different. He's in his grandkids' lives in that one & he is thriving because he's not being deprived of Favorite Grandkid Myranda Who Thinks He's Great & Tells Him Every Day.

[delusional-dinosaurr]

Nice Sleepover? Part 2 (Alessia Russo x Reader)

It's time, you've all been asking for it. So here it is!

I present to you, Nice Sleepover Part 2! Sorry I've been super busy! Whilst I take forever, be sure to check out my other one shots on my masterlist HERE

Oh and Part One to this fic is HERE

(Note: In this story the Euros isn't during this year)

It's been 3 months since you got loaned to City. You and Alessia have been messaging each-other ever since the night you both reconnected. You haven't had a lot of time to take her out for dates, you only managed to take her out for the one official date since you had your night together. You took her out to an arcade and made it your mission to win her something. You not only surprised her but you surprised yourself by winning her 4 toys from the claw machines! You still hung out on nights where you could but with your conflicting schedules it was still difficult.

You received a call from Jonatan to recall you back to Barca for the final match of the season as Alexia had gotten injured. It was very last minute but unfortunately your contract stated that you could be recalled at anytime with no notice. You were booked on a plane to leave 6 hours later so you panic messaged everyone letting them know your loan spell was up. Alessia was in an absolute state at the news, just when she thought you guys were close again, you'd already been snatched away from her. She spent that evening crying on Ella whilst you were flying out to Barcelona. Your new/former housemates were also absolutely gutted at the news of your departure. Your words to them as you left them at the airport were "I'll be back before you know it, I promise” and Lauren trusted you on this, you've never broke a promise.

━━━━━

You arrive at the airport in Barcelona with an injured Alexia on her crutches and a very hyper Mapi helping her.

“Y/N we missed you so much!” Mapi gives you a massive hug and squeezes you to the point you feel as if you can’t breathe. Alexia gives you a gentle hug but leans on you a little for support.

“ACL huh?” You sigh and give Alexia a sad smile, she doesn’t quite meet your eyes when she confirms it’s her ACL. You grab her hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

“You’ve got this, if anyone can bounce back from an ACL injury it’s Alexia fucking Putellas!” You say as you all slowly leave the airport and go to Mapi’s car.

━━━━━

Match day comes around, and you’ve had a week or so to get back into the Barcelona groove. Your contract is up with Barcelona in a month, and you’ve already had your contract agreement settled for the future, you’ve just gotta wait for the media team to officially announce it at the end of the season.

You didn’t wanna say to the team about how you missed your teammates in Manchester as you were worried they’d be offended. You always felt somewhat dismissed in Barcelona, a bench warmer and a super-sub. You were shocked to hear you were called back in the first place as they surely would’ve wanted to sign someone else on, but you also felt excited to be back at the same time, you’ve missed Barcelona with your team.

You’ve been constantly calling and messaging Alessia since the day you left and you already can feel that you miss her. You regret not asking her to be officially your girlfriend whilst you were there as you don’t want it to be a case of asking her over a video call or a meet up for a day whilst you have a trip there.

You’re sat in the locker room taking in your surroundings, making sure you can remember this day vividly, as who wouldn’t want to remember a match that they’re in the starting 11 against Real Madrid. You’re watching your teammates dancing around and singing whilst you have your headphones in, listening to a playlist that the England girls have been listening to pre and post match. Your music quietens as you receive a text.

Good luck today! I can’t wait to watch you win!

You grin as you receive the message from Alessia and quickly send her back a thank you. You normally did a pre-match call to help not be so anxious for a match but you can only assume that due to the distance it may not be easy to call.

“What, or should I say who, has got you all smiley?” Ingrid nudges your shoulder. Ingrid took you under her wing when you started at Barcelona and she was one of the main few that you missed the most in Manchester.

“Just uh, this girl I’m talking to” You blush thinking about Alessia.

“Oh shit! You have a girlfriend? You go to Manchester for like 3 months and have already found a girlfriend? Nice one Y/N!” Ingrid cheers.

“Oh we aren’t together, just an old friend, another player, who I’ve reconnected with, nothing official” You say back, packing your headphones away and start getting ready to head out the room.

“If she’s got you smiling like that, you need to ask the girl out!” Mapi interjects. Alexia hobbles into the room in a leather coat and jeans to help give the team a pre-match pep talk and give the captain armband out. She gives her speech and walks over to you.

“Today Y/NN is going to be the captain! Her contract with us is nearly up and hopefully this helps secure a longer future here with us in Barcelona! Just know you’re appreciated by us and we all love you” Alexia cheers whilst the team huddle around you. You already know the outcome of your contract agreement and grin at Alexia’s little compliment to you.

The match starts without a hitch, fairly dirty game from the Madrid side but the Barcelona girls somewhat keep their cool. Half-time comes around and its 1-1, with Claudia Pina scoring an absolute belter of a goal to equalise. You give the team a big talk at half-time which gives the team an enormous boost to morale. You’ve already won the league and the team have already had the cup and party but this would mean that they went the whole season unbeaten, which has never been done in the history of the team.

85 minutes in. The score is 2-1 to Madrid. The girls are making more poor decisions with tackles, Mapi and Ingrid both receiving a yellow. However, you manage to make a sprint towards goal before your legs get swooped out by another pair of legs from behind you. Instantly the ref blows her whistle whilst angrily pointing to the penalty spot, the crowd is roaring with excitement at this whilst the ref shows a yellow card to the Madrid player, followed by a red quickly after. She protests before stomping off the pitch. Mapi goes up to take the penalty and nails it into the top right corner whilst the goalkeeper dives the other way. You run up to her and lift her whilst both yelling as other teammates join the huddle.

“Lets show them why we’ve already won this fucking league!” You yell to your team.

90 minutes have passed. 2 minutes of extra time. Both teams have been fighting hard, one to go unbeaten and the other team pushing hard to beat their rivals unbeaten streak.

Mapi sends you over a perfectly timed cross whilst you’re closing in on the goalkeeper. You pass it to your right to Claudia who runs it out slightly to help free up some space in the box, a Madrid player knocks the ball out of play, resulting in a corner for Barcelona.

Mapi steps up to take the corner as you all get in position in the box, she sends it soaring over to you so you jump and header it as best as you can. You thump to the ground and hear the stadium erupt, you jump back onto your feet and kick the ball back into the net in celebration. The final whistle is blown and your team instantly run to you and lift you up, playing at Camp Nou is always special but today felt different. You’re taking it all in as your team are underneath you celebrating loudly.

━━━━━

After all the celebrating you eventually head back to your hotel and start packing your stuff ready for when you next need to travel.

You hear your phone chiming on the bed to see Alessia’s name, requesting a video call.

“You are absolutely insane scoring a header like that!” She says instantly, you can hear Tooney in the background chanting your name.

“I take it you watched the game then?” You giggle.

“Of course I did, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Sadly I didn’t have a Barcelona shirt to wear at home whilst supporting you but I’m sure I can always steal one from you next time we meet up!” She says smiling at you through the screen.

“I’ll get one from my next match for you, if you’re extra nice I can even sign it for you!” You giggle, earning an eye roll from her.

“I really miss you Y/N. Like a lot” She sighs.

“I know Lessi, I miss you loads. I’ll be visiting soon though, not quite sure when but I promise it’ll be soon!” You smile back at her.

You carry on talking for what feels like hours before heading off to sleep ready for the next few days.

━━━━━

You’re sat with Lauren Hemp at a Man United v Liverpool match at the front row of the Manchester supporters section. You’re wearing a lovely red ‘Russo’ shirt as you lost a bet with Lauren the previous night on how long it’d take you to mention Alessia. Lauren keeps mentioning how she feels like she’s sinning sitting in a United supporters area. Underneath her hoodie she is wearing her City shirt so she feels ever so slightly less disgusted. You laugh at your friend's antics but nevertheless, she sticks it out with you to watch your girlfriend but not girlfriend play.

As the match wraps up between the two sides ending in a 6-0 win to United the teams make their way around the stadium chatting with fans and taking photos. Eventually a few come your way, catching Tooney’s eye.

“Lessi, there’s someone wearing your shirt there, go chat with them” She says casually, nudging her best mate in your direction.

“I was hoping to get my Russo shirt signed if you wouldn’t mind? I’m a massive fan. I’m so glad to hear you’re staying in Manchester for another 2 years” You smirk. Alessia is yanking you over the barriers and onto the pitch with her.

“I’ve missed you so much, you have no idea” She says squeezing you tight.

“I missed you too gorgeous, carry on with your fans. I’ll meet you as you leave, I can give you guys a lift?” You say with her nodding back.

━━━━━

Alessia and Ella meet you and Lauren outside the stadium as you offer to give them a lift home rather than get on a team coach back to manchester that takes a lot longer than a car. You all chat amongst yourselves and sing along with the radio.

You drop Tooney and Alessia off first. Lauren smacks your shoulder.

“Mate invite her over, the spare room is still only for you until you go wherever you go! Just keep the noise down yeah?”Lauren chuckles. You quickly jump out the car and grab Alessia. “Can I help you?” She chuckles looking at you.

“Uh so I’m staying at Laurens for the next few nights whilst I’m here, and was wondering if you wanted to stay over?” You say nervously. “I’d love to, let me just go drop off my stuff and I’ll be back!” Alessia runs into the house to drop off her stuff and grab some clothes for tomorrow.

“Bye Ella! I’m going for a sleepover!” She yells as she leaves the front door, whilst she can hear Ella yell something about protection.

━━━━━

You, Alessia, Lauren and Leila are all sprawled out over the sofa’s in the living room after eating your bodyweight in fast food. You hear a few yawns from the group and Lauren stands up.

“We are all clearly knackered, bed time!” She says, clapping at you all. You all get out of your seats and Lauren begins pushing you all towards the stairs.

Once Alessia gets settled in your temporary room she leans into you and kisses you gently, but that gentle kiss keeps escalating until the both of you have to break apart in order to breathe.

“You have no idea how hot it was to see you in a United jersey with my name on it” She says leaning in for yet another passionate kiss.

“Well you have no idea how hot it was to see you tackling people and getting angry at the ref” You say back. “Well the ref was being stupid, I still can’t believe he-” You break her complaining with a kiss, she straddles your lap and starts taking your shirt off.

“God I’ve missed you” She says whilst attacking your neck

The rest of the night continues as you’d expect. By that, you didn’t really sleep a lot. After all you did have a lot of catching up to do with Alessia.

━━━━━

You wake up the following morning to your phone ringing, you quickly grab it and answer.

“Yes I’d love to! Thank you so much, I’ll be there as soon as possible” You say trying not to scream with excitement, Alessia has woken up and looks as confused as ever.

“What was that about?” She asks you, prodding your side.

“Oh nothing, you’ll find out soon!” You smirk at her “That reminds me, can I take you somewhere today? A surprise date if you will”.

“I’d love that, we do need to make up for all the video calls whilst you’re visiting!” She smiles at you “Where are we going?”

“About that, it’s going to be a surprise” You grin with Alessia looking at you confused.

After a short drive with Alessia complaining about being blindfolded and the odd "This is a bit kinky" comment you eventually arrive at the date destination.

“Ta da!” You say as you remove Alessia’s blindfold. She winces at the light and looks out the window.

“Very funny Y/N, you know I will always be a United fan and you cant convert me!” She says sighing at the view of the Etihad Stadium in front of you.

“Oh well I guess you wouldn’t wanna go in for a tour with me then!” You smirk, she sighs and gives in. You’re both greeted at the door by some staff who guide you back outside, where Gareth Taylor is waiting whilst admiring the stadium.

“Hey Gareth!” You say as you shake his hand, he shakes Alessia’s hand and greets her too.

“You ready to see it?” He asks you whilst patting your shoulder, and you nod excitedly in response. Alessia is looking between the two of you, confused at what is going on, whilst you’re looking at a big display that is blank, until it’s finally on display. He pats you on the back and walks back into the stadium whilst yelling a “See you at training!” in your direction.

“Welcome Y/N Y/LN!” is written on the display with a photo of you in your City kit on the display with “2025” written underneath too.

“Wait, is this what I think it is?” Alessia squeals whilst hugging you tightly “You’re coming back?”

“I am, and there’s no chance of Barcelona stealing me this time” You squeeze her back.

“I can’t believe it, this is the best day ever!” She starts tearing up on your shoulder, you kiss her face repeatedly and can’t wipe the smile from your face. Your phone starts buzzing with notifications, which means the whole world know that you’re officially signed at City.

“I love you Alessia” You blurt out whilst hugging her, she pulls back to look into your eyes.

“I love you too Y/N, more than you’ll ever know” she presses a gentle kiss to your lips whilst smiling into it.

“I guess this makes us girlfriends now?” You ask her.

“You haven’t even asked!” She jokes, pretending to be offended.

“Oh I’m sorry! Alessia Mia Teresa Russo, will you be my girlfriend?” You say bowing slightly to her and extending a hand out to her whilst laughing.

“You’re so dumb” She giggles and takes your hand “But yes, of course I’d love that” She kisses you again, this was by far the happiest day of your whole life so far, but you knew it would be overtaken in the future, as long as Alessia was part of it.

━━━━━

Hopefully this was a nice part 2 for you guys and that you enjoyed the ending! <3

[internetgiraffekid1673]

Hey I know these problaby aren't the question you where thinking where gonna come up here but I have a couple rapped fire questions I don't know who to ask and your the only one who ever consistently comes into my page so here I go:

How does one game followers on this app because whenever I post something I feel like I'm just waiting my time cuz nobody ever sees the stuff I'm writing or making, and I know people say to just be who you are and do what you like but I've been doing that and I have a total of six followers (and in all honesty your the only person who ever interacts with my posts)

Is it better to just spew out content or space out posts? I have all these ideas and things I want to make and post but I feel like if I post over something it's gonna have an even smaller chance of being seen and that honestly hurts cuz I put allot of time and effort into my posts for literally no one to see them!

Okay I know that was a lot and I'm sorry but I just don't know how else to ask and you seem like you would know that kind of thing because you always get notes on your posts, if these are questions you can't or don't wanna answer that's obviously fine but If you do choose to answer I would really appreciate it since I'm new to this whole Tumblr thing and I have never had a platform like this.

Anyway I'm done rambling, answer or no answer thank you for your time and I just wanted to thank you for everything!

Ella Zimmerman

Hello! Dear friend! First of all, some bigger blogs don't mind signal boosting. You can drop an ask into the inbox of some of them and be like, "hey, do you think you could ask people to look at my art and/or writing? I'm having trouble finding people." Case in point: EVERYBODY GO FOLLOW @ellazimmermansblog , HER STUFF IS VERY COOL, SHE IS VERY FUNNY AND TALENTED, AND HER ART IS AMAZING! SHE MADE MY HEADER IMAGE!

I feel you on nobody interacting with your posts, it felt like a while before I found my people here! This is how I found them.

1) Follow other people. A lot of the followers I have are just my much cooler mutuals. Find someone who's blog you like. Follow them, interact with their posts, send them asks, that kind of thing. Just an example of the kind of asks you can send: I love OC content, and a lot of really cool people will happily infodump about their OCs if you ask them. A lot of people are happy to make friends. The way I find people to follow is part scrolling through tags for my interests, but also looking through likes and reblogged that were made on my own posts and seeing if I click with any of those folks.

2) Make fandom posts. Tumblr is a fandom website, and while I ADORE your original content, it is easier for people to find you through fandom and then get attached to your other stuff.

3) Be alright with screaming into the void. A lot of the time when I make posts, I'm not actually expecting anybody to interact with them, unless it's a fandom post. I'm kind of just screaming into the void. Sometimes I'll get pleasantly surprised and someone will interact with it, but my personal posts are all 0-3 note posts most of the time, while most of my fandom posts hover around 20ish and sometimes my posts "break containment," which I classify as anything over 50 notes (you can see which ones have broken for me in the top posts section).

4) Tag EVERYTHING. This one is annoying and boring and hard, but tags are how people see your posts. I spent a solid month just having an empty blog and stalking tumblr before I actually made a post, so I had a pretty good handle on what tags I should be using, because some of them aren't very intuitive. For example: I play wizard101 and that was one of the first posts I made where I found mutuals. Wizard 101 is tagged under #wizard101, #wizzy101, #wiz101, and #w101. That's FOUR different tags that people could be using, and if I wanted all of them to find that post, I had to use all four. Tumblr's auto-suggest tags are pretty helpful, but so is just scrolling through like a maniac.

(I also ramble in the tags of my posts. Just things I want to add that don't really belong in the main body of the post).

5) Post a lot. There are 2 types of people on this website: the people who are doing some kind of long-form project and don't really have time to make other posts, and the people who just post things and reblog things they like willy nilly. The long form project people also usually post their project on a side-blog and have a main account they use to still jabber and talk about stuff not related to it.

6) Reblog things. A LOT. Tumblr isn't really a "passive engagement" website. There's no algorithm on here. People prefer to curate their dashes very carefully based on the tags and the blogs they follow. So if you want to see more content for something you like, follow that person and reblog that post! ESPECIALLY posts that don't have very many notes, since those people are usually also looking for friends and engagement. You've probably noticed my blog is like 80% funny reblogs where I ramble in the tags and 20% my own nonsense.

7) And this last piece of advice is more for how to engage and less for how to get engagement yourself: find someone who is really bored and likes answering asks. They may not follow you back, but it'll be a fun conversation and way to engage and pass the time. I'm shy, so I look for people who are bored and have anons turned on like @call-me-chips (hope you don't mind the tag!) For people who are unaware, I am ALSO one of those people! Ask me questions! About anything! Even invasive ones! Including stuff I logically can't answer! Or just send me rants about things that you just want someone to hear! I love them! Send them as anons if you want! I don't care, I love talking to people on this website!

I hope this helps you find more of your people, and best of luck to you amigo! Remember to follow @ellazimmermansblog who I am tagging twice and praying that tumblr doesn't break for at least one of them!