#thank you as always for your thoughts!!

[jonsawilldanceanon]

Lack of Morals ~ Lack of Vows

[jetii]

Aw I’m so glad you liked it!!! 💙💙 I was trying not to be too obvious about what arc this was so that’s great actually lmao

I’m glad we’re all on team Not Obi-Wan at this point 😭 I love Rex and Goldie together so much, more than any other reader x canon or oc x canon fic I’ve ever written about omg they are my forever otp

Oh man I have so many thoughts but I will abstain from spoilers. Just know I plan to touch on most of the major events in TCW/ROTS and a few of them significantly change the trajectory of the story.

Event Horizon

Chapter Thirteen: A Moment's Peace

Chapter WC: 7,041

A/N: screams in love triangle

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Saleucami, 21 BBY

When you finally awake, it's nearly morning. You can see the first rays of sunlight creeping over the horizon, and the air is filled with the sounds of birdsong. You're lying on a cot, a blanket draped over your body, and your armor has been removed. You sit up with a groan, and you immediately regret it as a sharp pain shoots through your body.

A hand lands on your shoulder and pushes you back down. "Easy there, sir. Don't strain yourself." 

Echo's voice is calm and reassuring, and you let out a sigh as he eases you back onto the cot. You're sore all over, but you're still in one piece. And for that, you're grateful.

"How long have I been out?" you mumble, your voice hoarse, and you rub your eyes with the heels of your palms. The headache that's pounding in the back of your skull is a dull throb. You've had worse. You'll survive.

"Most of the night," Echo replies. He's sitting beside you, and he smiles when you look up at him. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a speeder," you chuckle. You shift on the cot and grimace. "Or twenty."

"I'm not surprised. You lost a lot of blood," Echo says. "Kix stitched you up good. You should be fine."

"Thanks," you reply. "And, thanks for, you know, looking after me."

Echo shrugs. "Just doing my job, sir."

"Still," you say, and you sit up, wincing as the pain flares through your shoulder. You reach out and squeeze his hand. "I appreciate it."

He nods, a faint blush on his cheeks, and he clears his throat. "Anytime, sir. It wasn't all me. Kix did most of the work."

"Where is he?" you ask. "Did he get some sleep?"

"A little," Echo replies. "He's outside. We all took shifts watching over you."

"Why?" you ask, confused. It's not like you're in any immediate danger. At least, not that you're aware of. "I was fine."

"We were worried about you, sir. After what happened with the transport, we just wanted to make sure," Echo says. "Kix said it was best if you stayed awake, but, well, he passed out pretty quick after the fight. He's a bit worn out."

"I'll bet," you murmur guiltily. "Sorry for worrying you. I was tired."

"That's one word for it," Echo chuckles. He stands up and walks over to a table, picking up a canteen and a pack of rations. He hands them both to you, his expression stern. "Now, eat. And drink. Please."

You take the items and smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir," he says.

You nod and turn your attention to the rations, tearing open the pack and taking a bite. The two of you sit quietly for a moment, listening to the sounds of the early morning. You look around the tent, taking note of the other cots. Hardcase and Fives are both fast asleep on the ones nearest to yours, their armor removed and neatly stacked on the ground. Most of the other beds are empty, and the tent is still. 

You're glad. It means the other men are recovering well, and there isn't a crowd of faces staring at you. You don't particularly enjoy being the center of attention, especially not in the form of concerned looks and quiet murmurs.

You finish your meal, and the food helps settle your stomach. You feel more alert now, the exhaustion fading, and the ache in your muscles lessens. You're still tired, and the pain in your shoulder is enough to make you wish you were still unconscious, but there's another sensation nagging at the back of your mind.

You turn back to Echo. "Have you seen一"

"He commed earlier to say he was on his way," Echo replies. There's a knowing look in his eye, and his mouth twists into a small smirk.

"Oh," you say, a little flustered. You hadn't realized the question was so obvious, but you can't stop the smile that creeps across your lips at the thought of seeing him again. "Good."

He nods, and the two of you lapse into a comfortable silence. The only sound is the chirping of birds, the voices of the camp, and the soft rustle of the breeze through the trees. You lean back and stare at the canvas ceiling, enjoying the warmth and quiet. It's a welcome change from the chaos of the past few days, and you can't help but relax a little.

The peace doesn't last, though.

"General," Echo starts, and he hesitates, his eyes flicking toward the others and back before leaning closer, his voice lowering, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," you reply slowly. You're not sure what's causing the sudden shift in his demeanor. He's usually so calm and professional. Now he seems...nervous. It's a little concerning, and you can feel yourself start to tense.

He doesn't say anything at first, his eyes searching yours as if looking for an answer. You force a smile, hoping it will help him feel more at ease, and, finally, he takes a deep breath and speaks.

"It's nothing. Well, maybe not nothing. I'm not sure. I guess..." He trails off, his expression pinched, and you can feel the unease radiating from him. "Ah, it's nothing. Never mind."

"No, really," you urge him, sitting up a little straighter, ignoring the flare of pain the movement causes. You place a hand on his shoulder, and his body is tense beneath your touch. "What's wrong? You can talk to me."

Echo bites his lip, and the look in his eyes is almost pleading. He looks like he's about to confess a murder, and you can't imagine what could have him so worked up. He's not usually one to hesitate when it comes to sharing his thoughts.

"I was just...wondering," he starts, and he takes a deep breath, letting the air out slowly. "Were you the Jedi Rex saved on Geonosis?" 

"I..."

Your mouth goes dry, and the words die on your lips. The surprise is enough to make you dizzy, and your heart hammers in your chest. You're not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. Your hand quickly drops from Echo's shoulder and clenches into a fist at your side.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," he stammers. "It's none of my business. I just...when we were talking yesterday..."

"Yes," you finally answer, your voice little more than a whisper. "Yes, I was."

Echo blinks, and his mouth falls open. For a moment, he just stares at you, his eyes wide. You're not sure how long the two of you sit there, frozen in place, but it feels like an eternity.

Finally, Echo glances over his shoulder at the sleeping forms of Fives and Hardcase, and when he turns back, the look on his face is one of sheer delight.

"What?" you ask warily.

"I knew it," he laughs, the sound low and soft, and he leans forward, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "I told Fives it had to be you. He didn't believe me, but I knew."

"What are you talking about?" you huff. The anxiety has faded now, replaced by irritation, and the scowl on your face only makes Echo laugh harder. "Is this a joke?"

"No," he chuckles. "Sorry. I just...it's funny. I mean, I suspected, but I wasn't sure."

"You suspected?" you repeat incredulously. You can feel the color draining from your face. You know you should just shut up, but you can't seem to stop the words from coming. "How did you figure it out?"

"Just a hunch," Echo replies. "Fives and I talked about it, and it just made sense. You're the only Jedi Rex ever talks about other than the General and Commander Tano. And he got kinda weird whenever anyone mentioned you."

"Weird?" you echo. You can feel the heat rising to your cheeks, and you're grateful the light is dim. This is not how you thought the conversation would go. "Weird how?"

"Just...well..." Echo trails off and glances at the others. They're both still sound asleep. "You know."

"No," you retort, the anger starting to bleed through into your voice. "I don't. Explain it to me."

"It's not like that," Echo insists. His expression is serious now, and he looks almost ashamed. "It's nothing, sir. Forget I said anything."

"Not a chance," you snap. "What did you mean?"

"Okay," he relents, his eyes flicking away from yours. He's clearly uncomfortable with the topic, but you're not backing down. You need answers. "Look, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I think it's great, really. But, uh, well...he's...you know."

"What?"

“I don't want to offend you or anything, but he was always really...protective...of you," Echo mutters, his words rushed. "Even before we met you. I don't know. I just figured something must have happened."

"Oh," you murmur. You can’t seem to find anything more intelligent to say. The flush is spreading from your face down your neck, and you pick up the canteen, hoping the cool liquid will help. It doesn't. "Right."

You can't look at Echo right now. It's too much, too embarrassing. He's probably staring at you with a look of pity on his face, and you're sure he's wondering why the hell you're so upset about the whole thing. But you can't help it. This isn't something you ever expected him to bring up, and it's definitely not something you're prepared to talk about.

"I'm sorry," Echo says quickly. He pats your shoulder awkwardly. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I just—I didn't think it was true. But, clearly, I was wrong. It's...it's okay. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to."

"It's fine," you sigh. You can't even bring yourself to shrug his hand off. What's the point? He knows. And there's no hiding it now. "It's not a secret. Not really."

"Really?" he asks, surprised, and he withdraws his hand. "Then why didn't you tell us?"

"It's...complicated," you mutter as your hands twist in the blanket that covers you. You can't keep the bitterness from your voice. "That was a difficult day for both of us."

"I bet," Echo murmurs. He glances away, his expression thoughtful, and then back at you. "Rex doesn't talk about it much. We know the basics, but that's about it. I'm guessing you don't like to talk about it either."

"I don't," you admit. "It's...hard."

"I'm sure," he replies. He's quiet for a moment before continuing. "For what it's worth, I think you guys make a great team."

"Thanks," you mutter, though it's a half-hearted response.

"I'm not lying. Really," he says, and there's a note of sincerity in his voice. "And, between you and me, I think he's happier when you're around. It's nice. Makes him less uptight."

You snort at the comment. "Rex is never going to be less uptight."

"Nah, probably not," Echo chuckles. "But he is better when you're here. We all are."

"Well, thank you," you reply, and the tension leaves your shoulders as a faint smile spreads across your lips. "I appreciate that. Truly."

"Don't mention it," he says. "We've been through a lot together, and we're always glad to have you around."

"Thanks," you murmur. You're not sure what else to say. The awkwardness is still lingering in the air, and the conversation is a bit stilted. Still, you're grateful that Echo is trying to make things easier for you. He's a good person. And he's loyal to a fault. It's a quality you admire, even if it's a bit frustrating at times.

The two of you sit there for a moment, neither one willing to speak. The silence is growing heavier by the second, and you can feel the anxiety creeping back into your mind. It's getting harder and harder to stay calm, and the tension is starting to make your head ache. You rub your temples and sigh.

"I'm going to check in with Obi-Wan," you finally say, and you begin the laborious process of sitting up. "Make sure everything's okay."

"Of course," Echo replies. He stands, holding out a hand. "Can I help?"

"Please," you sigh, and you take his hand, using it to steady yourself. He keeps a firm grip on your arm, and together, the two of you stagger out of the tent. The fresh air is cool on your skin, and the sun is just starting to rise over the horizon. Once he's sure you're steady on your feet, Echo lets you go.

"Thank you for keeping me company," you say. "You didn't have to."

"No problem," Echo replies with a smile. "You know we've got your back, right, sir?"

"Right," you mutter. You're not entirely sure how you feel about that, but you manage to keep your frown to yourself. 

You give him a final wave and start walking over to where Obi-Wan's tent is pitched. The camp is already starting to come to life, and you can hear the sounds of the men moving about. You're relieved to see that most of them seem to be unharmed, though a few are sporting visible injuries.

Cody is standing outside the tent with him, and the two seem to be deep in conversation. You walk toward them, careful to stay out of earshot. You don't want to interrupt their discussion, but, as you approach, the voices carry to you.

"...not sure. She seemed fine," Cody is saying. "A little quiet, but I expected that. You know she doesn't like this."

"Are you sure?" Obi-Wan asks. He's pacing back and forth, his arms crossed over his chest. "She was acting strange."

"Maybe a little," Cody concedes. "But she's been under a lot of pressure lately. It's only natural for her to get stressed."

"I suppose," Obi-Wan says, though his tone is unconvinced. He sighs, rubbing his forehead. When his hand falls, his face is pinched, his brow furrowed in thought. You wait for him to continue, but he suddenly straightens and turns to face you, your eyes meeting across the distance.

You freeze, your mouth falling open in surprise, and the realization dawns on you. You had been so wrapped up in your own emotions, so consumed by the stress and guilt, that you had neglected to keep a tight grip on your connection to the Force. The energy swirls around you, a maelstrom of worry and concern, and the emotions are pouring off you in waves.

"Shit," you breathe, and you quickly pull back, drawing the energy into yourself, and the world grows quiet once more. Obi-Wan frowns, but his expression quickly shifts into something more neutral.

You know what's coming, and there's no stopping it now.

You take a deep breath, bracing yourself for the inevitable lecture, and as you cross the final few feet between you, the two turn to face you. Cody nods a greeting while Obi-Wan just gives you a look. The concern on his face is unmistakable, and he opens his mouth to speak, but Cody beats him to it.

"Good morning, sir," he says. His gaze flickers to the bandage wrapped around your shoulder and back up to meet your eyes.

"Good morning," you say, forcing a smile. You can't seem to look Obi-Wan in the eye. "Sleep well?"

"As well as can be expected," Obi-Wan replies. He's giving you that look out of the corner of your eye, the one that says he's disappointed, but you ignore it just as you ignore the waves of frustration rolling off him. "Are you feeling better? I heard you gave the men a bit of a fright."

"Yeah, sorry," you reply. "It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't," Obi-Wan admonishes. “How’s your arm?”

You rub the back of your neck sheepishly, and the movement sends a twinge of pain down your arm. You're definitely going to feel that for the next few days. "A little sore."

"Imagine that," he quips. He turns to Cody. "If you would excuse us for a moment."

"Of course," Cody replies. He smiles and nods his head before turning and heading towards Waxer and Boil. Obi-Wan watches him go for a moment before turning back towards you, sporting a stern look.

"You一"

You hold up a hand. 

"Before you say anything," you start, and you glance around to make sure nobody is within earshot. The last thing you need is an audience. "Can we just not right now? It's too early."

"Fine," he concedes. He crosses his arms and sighs. "How bad is it? Really. Don't lie, you know I’ll be able to tell.”

"It's not great," you admit. "But I've had worse. A lot worse. Honestly, it's fine. I'll survive."

"That's not reassuring."

"Neither is yelling at me."

"I don't yell," he grumbles, the irritation clear in his voice. "And if you'd just listened to me..."

"I'm fine," you say firmly. You know you're pushing your luck, but you can't stop yourself. "It's just a flesh wound."

"It's not just a flesh wound. Not with you. I don't need the Force to tell me that," he replies, and the sharpness of his tone is enough to make you flinch. "You know better. You can't risk一"

"Obi-Wan!"

The sharpness of your tone catches you both off guard. Your cheeks burn, and a wave of embarrassment washes over you. It's not like you to snap at him like that, and the way his eyes widen in shock is proof enough of that.

A few of the troopers look in your direction, their heads snapping up from the conversation they'd been engrossed in. You glare at them until they look away, and then you lower your voice and continue. "Not now. Please."

He opens his mouth and then closes it. There's a flicker of pain in his eyes, and he turns away. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," you mumble. The fight leaves you in an instant, and the shame settles heavy on your shoulders. "I didn't mean to...I know you're worried, and I appreciate it, but I'm fine."

"I know," he says quietly. "I just can't help it."

"I know," you sigh.

The two of you stand there for a moment, neither one daring to speak. There's a lump in your throat, and the weight of the emotions is making it hard to breathe.

You want nothing more than to wrap him in a hug and apologize. You want to tell him everything will be okay, that it's going to be fine. That the war will end soon, and you'll have time to heal and figure things out.

But you can't. Because it's not going to end. It's only just begun.

"I'll be more careful next time," you say finally. You look up and meet his eyes, and the hurt and concern reflected there are enough to make your heart clench. "I promise."

"Okay," he says, and he gives you a weak smile. "And, please, try not to scare the men again."

"I'll do my best," you chuckle. The heaviness in the air has eased, and some of the tension has drained away.

"I know you will," he says, and his expression softens.

"So are we good?" you ask hesitantly. You're not sure what else there is to say.

"For now," he replies, and his smile turns sad. "I can't promise I won't say anything later."

Obi-Wan's eyes drift up to the sky, and the smile slips from his lips. He looks tired, and there's a hint of resignation in his gaze. You follow his line of sight, your eyes settling on a black dot among the clouds growing larger by the second.

A Republic transport is approaching with haste, making a beeline straight for you. It's flying low, and the dust and dirt kicked up by its landing sends a cloud billowing over the camp.

"We're headed to Dantooine," Obi-Wan announces, raising his voice as the ship starts its descent. "Master Windu is in need of our aid."

Your stomach churns at the idea of being thrown into another warzone, but you swallow and nod. "Okay, I'll be ready."

"Not you," Obi-Wan corrects, and he holds up a hand when you start to protest. "You need time to rest and heal. That's an order."

"But一"

"I mean it," he says firmly. "Go home. Take some time for yourself. If not for your sake, then for mine. I'll send word to Anakin and let him know to expect you."

The fight leaves you, and your shoulders sag. It's pointless to argue. You're exhausted, and you can barely walk. Even if you wanted to go, it's not like you'd make much of a difference. You're more likely to get in the way, and that's the last thing you need. You've already proven yourself useless once. You're not keen on repeating the experience.

“Fine,” you mutter as the ship touches down, sending another plume of dust swirling around the camp. "I'll go. But only because you asked so nicely."

"I appreciate that," he says with a wry smile. He reaches out and gives your uninjured shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Take care of yourself. I'll comm you as soon as I have news."

"Yeah," you reply. Your throat is tight, and you swallow, trying to push back the wave of sadness that threatens to overwhelm you. It's not fair. You hate being left behind, and, even worse, you know Obi-Wan will be worrying about you while he's gone.

"Hey," Obi-Wan says. His tone is soft, and his gaze is full of understanding. The hand on your shoulder drifts up to your neck, and his fingers curl gently against the side of your head. You can feel the worry in him, but there's something else, too, a feeling you can't quite place.

"What is it?" you ask, the question slipping from your lips before you can stop yourself.

"Don't forget that I love you," he murmurs. He pulls you close, his breath warm against your cheek, and he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. "And I'm proud of you."

"I—thanks," you mumble. The tears well up in your eyes, and you blink them away, swallowing past the lump in your throat. "I'll see you soon."

He holds you for a moment, studying your features, and the worry on his face is etched in every line and crease. He tilts your head up and leans in, and your heart clenches with a sudden wave of anxiety, inexplicably fearful that he may kiss you. It's irrational. He wouldn't do that. Not here, not with the men around.

Still, you're unable to stop the flutter of panic that runs through your chest, and you suck in a breath as his mouth draws close to yours.

And then he turns his head and kisses your cheek.

"May the Force be with you," he says quietly, and he lets go of you. He gives you a final smile before stepping back and turning towards the ship. "And stay out of trouble."

Obi-Wan doesn't give you a chance to respond, walking toward the ship without another word. You watch him go, your thoughts a jumbled mess of relief and disappointment, and you rub absently at your neck.

"And with you," you murmur, and you sigh as you watch him rejoin Cody. He says something to him, and the Commander nods, signaling for the 212th to prepare to board the transport. In the distance, you can see the 501st doing the same. The men are gathering their supplies and checking their gear, taking down tents and packing crates. Fives is chatting with Echo and Hardcase, while Jesse and Kix are arguing about something.

You stay back, observing the scene. It's strangely peaceful, and the calm is a stark contrast to the chaos that filled the day before. Despite the ache in your muscles and the lingering exhaustion and anxiety, you can't help but feel grateful. It's over. 

For now, at least.

Boarding the transports that arrive one by one is slow going, and it’s early afternoon by the time the 501st is ready to leave. You stand by as the men move into formation, and your eyes sweep over the ranks, searching for a familiar blue pauldron. 

You know you won’t find him. There hasn’t been any sign of Rex thus far, and while you can feel his unmistakable presence in the Force drawing nearer to your location, you know you won’t be satisfied until you see him with your own eyes.

Still, you can’t keep a whole battalion waiting for one man, no matter how important or missed he may be. So you take a deep breath and let the air out slowly before addressing the assembled troops. You don't have much of a speech prepared, and you're not the best public speaker, but the men seem happy enough to see you, even if you're not their general.

"Hey," you start, and the men fall silent. Their helmets turn towards you, and the weight of their gazes is a palpable thing. You shift your weight from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Thank you for everything you did yesterday. I know it was...difficult. But you kept your heads. You're all brave men, and I'm proud to serve alongside you."

There's a chorus of cheers and whistles from the crowd. A few of the men even stomp their feet and raise their blasters into the air. It's a bit excessive, but you appreciate the enthusiasm nonetheless.

"I'm gonna miss you guys," you say, and there's a tittering of laughter from the ranks. A few of the troopers call out their own sentiments, and the group grows louder. You can't help but grin, and the expression feels foreign on your face.

“We’ll be headed back to Coruscant for some R&R," you continue. "And then you’ll get the go-ahead for your next assignment. So take advantage of this downtime. Enjoy the peace. Relax. Spend time with each other. You've earned it."

Another cheer erupts from the crowd, and you glance around, hoping someone will step forward and take charge of the situation. No such luck.

"Okay, that's it," you announce lamely. "Get on the damn ship and go home."

More cheering and whooping follow the declaration, and the men shuffle into place. There's a line of them stretching up the ramp, and as the first group of soldiers disappears inside, the ones standing near you start moving towards the transport. You step back and watch them go, giving each one a quick nod and smile as they pass. It's a tight fit, and there are a lot of clones, but everyone seems happy enough. It's good. They deserve a break.

"General," a voice calls, and you look up to see Kix approaching as the first transport takes off, another moving to take its place. He's dressed in his full gear, helmet tucked under his arm, and his expression is a strange mix of amusement and exasperation. "Glad to see you up and about."

"Thanks," you say, and you offer him a smile. “How are you?”

"I'm fine," he says with a shrug. "Just trying to make sure everyone else is too."

"I'm glad," you reply. "Thank you for everything you've done. I'm sorry if I was...combative. I'm not the best patient."

"You weren't that bad," he chuckles. "Jesse is much worse. Always complaining and trying to skip out on his shots. And Hardcase has a habit of picking at his stitches."

You make a face, and he smirks at your discomfort.

"Sounds like fun,” you say wryly.

"Something like that," he snorts.

"I'll be sure to avoid that in the future," you laugh.

"Please do." He reaches into his pack, pulling out a bottle that rattles as he holds it out to you.

“Here,” he says, and you take it, glancing at the label. “For the pain.”

"I told you. I'm fine," you reply, and you try to give it back to him, but he pushes your hand away. "Really. You should save these for someone who needs them."

"You need them. I'm not taking no for an answer," Kix insists. "You've got a few long weeks ahead of you. Better to start taking them now."

"Fine," you concede with a sigh. You dump two pills into your hand and tip your head, swallowing them dry. They stick in your throat, and you wince. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic," he retorts, his tone droll. "Now, take it easy. And keep those pills on you. I want you to take one every six hours. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," you say with a mock salute, and Kix rolls his eyes.

"Very funny," he grumbles. He looks toward the ship landing behind him and sighs. "I have to go. Jesse and I are on this one. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Thank you," you murmur, touched by his concern. And the pills are already starting to work. You can feel the familiar warmth spreading through your veins, and your shoulders sag. "Take care of yourself. I'll see you soon."

His brows raise. “You’re not coming?” 

“I’ll catch the next one,” you say. "I need to check on some things. And I want to wait for Rex. Make sure he’s okay.”

Kix frowns and glances over his shoulder at the ship. It's fully loaded and ready to go. You can see Fives and Echo waving at him, beckoning him over. He turns back, his gaze sweeping over your face. "I can stay with you if you'd like."

"No," you reply quickly. You shake your head and give him a smile. "You go. I'll be alright. I can't keep you from your brothers."

"Sir, he's fine," he says, and he takes a step forward, his eyes searching your face. "We talked to him. He's doing well. He just needs to rest."

"I know," you sigh. Your hands twist in the front of your robe as you bite your lip. The ache in your chest has returned. It's a dull throb, and it makes your heart feel heavy. You hate it. You look away, your gaze fixed on the horizon. "I just need to see him, make sure for myself."

"Oh," he breathes. The word is barely a whisper, and you grimace at the tone. You can feel his eyes on you, studying you, and he nods slowly. "Okay. I understand."

You meet his gaze, and the corners of his lips curl upward. He's smiling at you, but the expression is tinged with sadness. It's a strange look, and it makes you nervous. You don't like the way he's staring at you, and you shift uncomfortably, crossing your arms.

“Get moving, trooper,” you say. Your voice is gruffer than intended, and the words come out harsh, but you don't apologize. "That's an order."

Kix blinks at the change in tone, but he recovers quickly, his face breaking into a wide grin. He salutes, his fist resting over his heart, and the gesture is followed by a deep bow. "Sir, yes, sir."

He turns and walks back towards the transport. You watch as he boards, pausing to say a few final words to Jesse, who’s leaning against the side of the ship. His expression is stern, and the other clone nods, standing upright and putting a hand over his heart. Kix returns the nod, and the two exchange a few more words before Jesse moves back inside the transport.

Kix looks back towards you, and he waves before the door slides shut, blocking him from view. The engines flare, and the ship lifts into the sky in a smooth ascent, and soon it's disappearing over the horizon.

Once it's out of sight, you turn and walk towards the outskirts of the clearing, your eyes on the forest. Rex should be here soon. You can feel his presence growing stronger with every passing moment. You close your eyes and reach out with the Force. The trees are whispering, telling you where to go, and you follow their lead.

In the aftermath of the dust and dirt kicked up by the departing ship, a figure begins to emerge from the treeline in front of you. You shield your eyes and squint, trying to see through the haze.

The air begins to clear, and you watch as an eopie lopes toward you, its rider bobbing slightly with its movement. The sun glints off the armor of the clone atop the creature. His hair is matted and dirty, and his face is covered in dust and soot, but the smile on his lips is unmistakable, and his eyes are bright and warm.

You feel your heart leap, and you rush towards him as fast as your legs will carry you. The eopie kneels, and Rex dismounts, grabbing his helmet from its back and moving toward you with a swiftness that's almost surprising.

Your pace slows, and you stop a few feet from him, taking in the dents and scratches on his armor that weren’t there the day before. The most noticeable change is the large blaster hole on his chest piece, near dead center. It's singed and charred, and it makes your stomach churn. You can't bring yourself to look him in the eye, still focused on the damage to his armor.

"General," he greets, his voice hoarse and tired.

You don't respond. You're not sure what to say. You've missed him, and you're so relieved that he's alive, but all you can focus on is the hole in his chest.

"Hey."

The sound of his voice makes you jump, and you look up to see him staring at you. His gaze is piercing, and his brows are furrowed. He's worried. You can tell by the crease between his eyes and the way his jaw is set, and it's making the ache in your chest grow worse.

You open your mouth to speak, but the words die on your lips, and you swallow hard. You know you need to say something, anything, but your mind is blank.

"Are you alright?”

"Me?" you croak, and you gesture to the hole. "I'm fine. You—"

"Are fine," he finishes for you. He smiles, but there's a hint of sadness in the expression. He steps closer and reaches out, his hands hovering by your shoulders for a moment before he lets them drop, his eyes scanning the landscape behind you. "Are…we alone?”

"Yeah," you reply, and your brows furrow in confusion. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"No," he murmurs, his voice is soft and low. Rex takes another step closer, his boots crunching in the dirt, until you’re practically pressed against his chest. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

His eyes drift down to your shoulder, and his hand gently traces the bandages that wrap around your arm. "Kix told me you got hurt. I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"Rex," you breathe, and you place a hand over his. "I'm fine. I'll live."

"Still," he sighs. "I hate seeing you like this."

"Like what?"

"In pain."

"Oh," you mutter.

You don't know how to respond to that. It's such a simple statement, but it carries a weight that makes your heart clench.

You swallow and look down, avoiding his gaze as your hand falls away. "Well, it's not your fault."

"I know.” He sighs again and rubs the back of his neck. "But I can't help it."

"Rex..."

"I know. It's not my place."

"No," you agree softly. “It’s not.”

Rex nods solemnly and steps away, his gaze dropping back to the ground. You watch as he turns and walks back toward the eopie. It's chewing on the leaves of a nearby tree, its tail flicking lazily, and he strokes the creature's flank and gives it a pat. The eopie snorts and lowers its head, nuzzling his hand before moving back towards the trees.

You’re both silent, and you stare after the animal as it disappears into the forest. Your thoughts are racing, and you're not sure how to articulate the turmoil in your mind. The words are on the tip of your tongue, but you can't bring yourself to speak.

Rex turns back to you and takes a deep breath. There’s an intensity to his gaze that’s disarming, and you feel yourself rooted in place. Your throat tightens, and you swallow, forcing down the lump in your throat.

“It is though."

The words are so quiet, you barely hear them.

"What?"

"It is my place," he says. His voice is strained, and his eyes are fixed on yours. You can't tell what he's thinking. You can't even guess, but the way his eyes are locked on yours is enough to make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

"Rex," you begin, and you lick your lips, your mouth suddenly dry. "I can't—"

"I know," he interrupts, and the words come out rushed. He shakes his head and looks away, his brow furrowed in thought. He stares off into the distance, and his hands clench and unclench at his sides.

“I was afraid," Rex admits, his gaze moving back to you. "When I heard the news. That you'd been injured. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I'd...how much we'd lose. If anything happened to you."

"Rex," you sigh, and you cross your arms, hugging yourself tightly. The admission is both painful and exhilarating. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," he replies. He takes a shaky breath, and the corners of his mouth lift. "Just glad you're okay."

"Thank you," you whisper. You can't think of anything else to say. You just stand there, staring at him, unable to formulate a coherent thought. You know what you want to tell him, but you can't get the words out. Your brain is screaming at you, begging you to speak, but your mouth refuses to cooperate. And so the two of you remain motionless, frozen in the moment.

Rex is the first to break the silence. "We should head back."

"Yes," you murmur. You nod slowly and blink. "We should."

"Right," he sighs, and he moves past you. His arm brushes yours as he passes, and a shiver runs through you. He stops and turns back, his brows furrowed in concern. "Are you sure you're okay?”

“I…” 

You trail off and shake your head. You're not okay, not even a little bit. And the longer you stay here with him, staring into his eyes, the less okay you feel. But you can’t help yourself, can't pull yourself away.

It's not a good idea. It’s foolish, not when there's no telling who might be watching, but you're past caring. You're too exhausted to be afraid. Too tired to fight the impulse.

You take a deep breath and dart forward, your arms wrapping around his torso. You press your face into his chest plate and cling to him, your hands trembling, and you can feel the tears pricking the corners of your eyes. You're being ridiculous, but you don’t care. You just need to be close to him, to feel him against you, to know that he's real and alive. 

Rex doesn't react immediately. He stands completely still, letting you hold him, but after a moment, his arms slowly circle your shoulders. His grip is light, almost tentative, as if he's afraid of hurting you. But when you squeeze him tighter, he hugs you back.

His helmet falls to the ground with a thud, and you can feel him burying his face in your hair. His breath is warm against the top of your head. One hand drifts down to the small of your back, while the other slides up to cradle the back of your neck, and his fingers curl into your hair. 

He pulls you closer, tighter as your breath hitches and a sob escapes your lips. You can feel the warmth spreading across your face as the tears start to fall, hard and fast. They trickle down your cheeks and onto his armor, and you press your face against him, the cold soothing against your skin.

“Rex," you choke out, and your voice cracks. The words are muffled by his chest, but you know he hears them all the same. "I thought...I was so scared..."

"I'm okay," he whispers, and his hand moves to stroke your hair. "I'm fine."

"I know," you hiccup. "But I couldn't help it."

"It's okay," he says gently, continuing to smooth the loose strands. It's a comforting sensation, and you let yourself relax into him, your hands sliding up his back. "I'm here."

"I know," you sigh. You lean against him, letting the full weight of your body rest on his chest. You can sense his heart pounding against his ribs, and you close your eyes and take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I shouldn't一"

“Don’t,” he interrupts. He pulls back and looks down at you, his brows knitted together. He looks pained. "Please. Don't apologize. Not for this."

"But we一"

"Just...let me hold you," he pleads, his eyes searching your face. He looks almost desperate, and there's an urgency to his voice that makes your heart skip a beat. "Please. For a minute. That's all."

"Okay," you murmur, and you can feel yourself nodding. The movement is small, but it's enough, and Rex's lips curl upward.

You lean back into him, letting your cheek rest on him again as he lets out a deep exhale. Rex draws you close and rests his chin on the top of your head, and his hands return to their places on your back and neck. 

Your fingers curl into his chest plate, and you breathe deeply. He smells like smoke and sweat, but there's a hint of something else. Something clean, and crisp, and familiar. You're not sure what it is, but it reminds you of home. Of safety. Of comfort. 

He holds you tight, and the two of you stay like that for a long time, neither of you speaking, until your shoulder starts to ache. You wish you could stay here forever, but the last ship is waiting for you, and the last thing you want is for someone to come looking. 

Reluctantly, you pull away, and the moment is broken. The reality sets in, the weight of the consequences pressing down on you. You've taken too many risks already. If anyone sees...If they suspect anything...the thought sends a shiver of fear down your spine. You need to put some distance between the two of you.

"We should get going," you murmur. You avoid looking at him, but you can feel his gaze burning into the side of your face.

"Right," Rex sighs. "The ship."

"I'm sorry," you apologize. "I know this isn't一"

"I understand," he says softly. "And I'm sorry too. For scaring you."

"You didn't do anything wrong," you insist. “I need to learn how to deal with this stuff. I shouldn't freak out like that."

"Don't," he says firmly. He reaches out and puts his hand on your shoulder. The touch is gentle, and it's meant to be reassuring, but it makes you wince. 

He must notice, because his brows furrow and his expression turns concerned. “You're still in pain."

"I'll live," you grumble, and you shrug his hand off. "It's nothing."

“Did Kix give you any medicine?" he asks. He steps closer and peers down at your face. "Did he tell you what to do if it starts hurting again? You need to一"

"Rex," you interject, feeling a blush creeping up your neck. "I'm fine. I can handle it."

He frowns. "I don't think一"

"Rex," you interrupt. You take a deep breath and look up, your eyes searching his face. There's a bruise on his forehead, and a cut near his hairline, and he has a few days' worth of scruff on his cheeks. He looks rough. He needs a shower and a shave and a good night's sleep, but his eyes are warm, and his expression is earnest. "Just...take me home."

He's quiet for a moment. Something in your words makes him hesitate, and he looks away, his gaze focused on something behind you. The air feels heavy, and your chest tightens.

"Home," Rex repeats. There's an edge to his voice that makes you tense, and his eyes narrow. You wonder if you've gone too far, pushed too hard, but then he nods, and the moment is forgotten. "Of course. We should go."

You exhale and give him a grateful smile, and he returns it as he bends down to pick up his helmet. His arm brushes yours as he straightens, and he lingers close.

"You ready?" he asks, his voice low, barely more than a whisper.

“I think so," you murmur as you look down and stare at your feet. The boots are filthy, covered in mud and sand, and your robe is stained with blood. You look awful, but that's the least of your worries.

You feel a gentle touch on your hand, drawing you from your thoughts.

You barely stifle a gasp at the unexpected sensation, the barest brush of Rex’s hand against yours, so light and soft it could almost be mistaken for a breeze. It's a small gesture, but it's significant. It means something to you, and you can tell by the way his signature shifts and bends in the Force, glowing bright and warm, that it means something to him too.

Your breath catches, and your fingers curl, seeking his, but he steps away, putting a respectable distance between the two of you. You’re glad for it, despite the flare of disappointment that stabs at your chest. The rational part of you knows it's the right thing to do.

The two of you set off towards where the last transport is waiting without another word. You can see the clone manning the ramp watching you from the top of the incline, and your jaw clenches. You feel strangely exposed, like the trooper can read your thoughts, and you glance at Rex.

He seems unfazed, and his expression is calm, his face a mask of serenity. But there's a tension in his shoulders, and his signature is still aglow, pulsing and twisting, and it makes your palms sweat. You try to steady yourself, pushing the thoughts of his touch from your mind.

“Ready, sir?” the clone greets as the two of you approach. He salutes, and you return the gesture with a nod, your eyes sweeping over him. You’re almost certain this one is Mixer, and you make a note to check the roster later.

"Ready," Rex says, his tone light.

"Let's get out of here," you reply. You glance at Rex as he climbs the ramp ahead of you. "I'm ready for a hot meal and a shower."

"Me too," he grunts. He sounds exhausted. You wonder how much sleep he's gotten over the last two days. "And a shave.”

You bark out a laugh and follow him into the ship. “What a shame. I was starting to like the rugged look."

Rex freezes at the top of the ramp, his head whipping around to stare at you. He blinks, his brows raising in surprise before his lips curve into a wry smile, and he shakes his head. "Very funny, sir."

"I'm just saying. It was growing on me," you say with a shrug. "Suits you."

"Is that so?"

You bite the inside of your cheek to stop the grin threatening to spread across your face at the way his ears turn pink. "It's just an observation."

He chuckles, his gaze dropping to the floor as he rubs the back of his neck. He starts to reply, but the ramp is sliding closed behind you, and the words die in his throat.

The two of you are far from alone, and while the clones milling about the transport's interior are too distracted with their own affairs to notice the exchange, it's better not to chance it. Rex seems to realize this, and he settles for a pointed look as the ship rumbles to life, lifting off the ground.

“I’ll keep that in mind, sir,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the roar of the engines. You can’t hide your smile, and the corner of his mouth twitches too, his lips curving up into a matching grin. 

He nods and walks away, making his way towards a group of his brothers. You watch as they welcome him back, the clones slapping his pauldron and clasping his hand in a one-armed hug.

Your eyes stay on them for a moment longer before you look away, making your way to the back of the ship and settling down in a corner. It's not a wise idea. You shouldn't even be thinking about him like that, and there are a hundred reasons not to, but you can't help but feel a little hopeful. 

After all, you're both still alive. For now. 

And maybe that's enough.

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[hydrachea]

Thinking about Robin and Sunday's halos.

About how Robin's halo isn't a closed circle, but more like a branch forming a circular shape, where the start and stem don't touch. It's also uneven in shape and splits into three flowers, like it's allowed to grow freely, unobstructed. Something about Robin having left Penacony and having escaped the confines of her cage, being able to flourish. About her being able to let people in, and connect to them.

Meanwhile Sunday stayed behind to be the head of the Oak family and conform to the strict role that's expected of him, and his halo is a perfectly symmetrical shape that's practically fully closed off. It's sharp, almost more like a crown of thorns than a halo. And it almost doesn't have any openings to let anything, or anyone, in easily. It actively discourages getting close to it.

And then if you want to get sappy about, which I will - Sunday doesn't let anyone in, with that almost completely sealed, thorny halo of his... But there's an opening in Robin's halo, and so it can fit around Sunday's. Something about him always being able to find solace in her, because there's room for him in her (halo) heart always, by design.

Anyway I'm not normal about them.

[marshmallowgoop]

no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)

[recareels]

gmorning Clari!!! 💘 I’m not sure you’ve done it before, but I’d loooove to know what type of yanderes you’d classify your genshin faves as 😘

ANDYYYY i am so sorry i am responding a few days late to this and that’s because i accidentally wrote you a whole novel for an answer :) your ask sparked so many thoughts and i just BLAAAH spewed them all over the page (*ﾉωﾉ) ugh ahahaha ANYWAY oh gosh okay i have so much to say, let’s get into it!!! also apologies for how MASSIVE ajax’s is waaaah

characters: wriothesley, ajax [childe], kamisato ayato, thoma warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, yandere behaviour (gaslighting, obsessiveness, toxic relationships, delusional thinking, manipulation, over-protectiveness, etc) words: 2.1k

₊˚⊹ 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲

WRIOTHESLEY is the controlling, authoritarian type that feels like a really strict father, all under the guise of ‘protecting you’ and ‘keeping you safe’. he veers into delusional territory a little here because he genuinely believes what he’s telling you (and himself) and genuinely believes himself to be doing the right thing. he isn’t possessive, he just wants to make sure you’re going out with safe people. he isn’t obsessive, he just wants to know where you are at all times in case an emergency strikes and he has to come find you. he isn’t overbearing, he just cares and is proactive—don’t you want him to care? can’t you see he’s only this ‘protective’ because he loves you? 

he has thoroughly convinced himself that this behaviour has nothing to do with jealousy or a desire to keep you locked up, to keep you 100% certainly safe and his forever, and nothing to do with wanting to exert complete control over you, orchestrating your every decision—and he’s pretty good at continuously deluding himself into believing it. he’s so good, in fact, and his logic is so sound, that it has YOU wondering if you’re ‘just being crazy’, if you’re overthinking things or reading too much into them. wriothesley has had a lot taken away from him, after all, and he knows exactly how the mind of criminals tick—can you really blame him for being a bit paranoid? maybe you’re the one who’s overreacting and being unreasonable. maybe you’re even feeling a little guilty for being so ungrateful—shouldn’t you appreciate having someone who loves and cares for you this much to go to such extents? shouldn’t you want to relinquish all power to someone you love equally as much? shouldn’t you trust him to make only the best, most sound and appropriate decisions for you? you probably should. 

₊˚⊹ 𝐚𝐣𝐚𝐱

AJAX is kind of like, the typical yandere, and he encompasses several ‘types’, evolving throughout the course of your relationship and shapeshifting into different variants depending on the situation itself. and while the other three men seem normal until you’re in too deep with them, refraining from showing symptoms of yandere-ness until after you’ve been with them for an extended period of time and mean a lot to them, ajax is weird from the very beginning. 

almost immediately you can sense that there’s something slightly off about him, but you can’t put your finger on what it is. it’s so subtle that it doesn’t strike you as particularly dangerous, leading you to merely write it off as one of his quirks and nothing more. 

he’s overbearing right from the start, of course; not necessarily enough to be concerning just yet, but enough for it to be abnormal—unusual—and noticeable (which reminds me of your lil ajax piece!!!). from the instant he sees you, he is irreversibly obsessed with you. you permeate his every waking thought, and eventually begin to leak into his dreams, too, and suddenly he can barely breathe without knowing where you are and what you’re doing, his concentration consumed by you. 

he begins stalking you—‘overseeing’, he had called it—making detailed notes of your favourite locations and your most frequented friends. he’s constantly got an eye on you one way or another, even if he has to employ other people to do it for him, discreetly reporting their findings every few hours. he tells them you’re in danger—which, you are, technically—and that you must be observed at all times from afar, silently and stealthily. 

ajax is patient and he can play the waiting game, carefully devising and then revising his strategy based on your moves. he loves playing predator and prey, gets a thrill from how the hunt unfolds—much like a battle, it’s a story, a rich tapestry you and he are constantly and concurrently creating, together. and that he thinks is so beautiful.

in textbook yandere fashion, once he’s gathered a sufficient amount of intel, he begins ‘showing up’ randomly at your usual spots, ‘bumping into you’ fortuitously. charming and sweet, the only thing that’s initially unsettling is just how well the two of you get along. ajax is sure not to mimic you too much—he doesn’t want to be a mirror, after all, and being too similar is far from a good thing (especially when it matches so well it simply can’t be coincidental).

well—that, and the sharp glint in his eye that flares with something dangerous every time you giggle or gush, every time you fall further for him. and once he has you enchanted, ensnared, you’re trapped for life, tangled up in him so tightly that he might as well have fused to your flesh. 

ajax likes to tell you it isn’t about power and control, but he knows that it is. he’s smart, and he’s self aware, and he doesn’t really care if this is ‘wrong’—he sees it as necessary and he genuinely believes he knows better than you do. he has to take care of you, or else who will? you’re clearly not capable of satisfactorily doing it on your own, so he must (god, how would you manage without him?). even if you oppose him or fight back against him, he’s purely convinced you’re bull-headed and stubborn, snorting at your wanting to be independent when he truly knows you’re too stupid take care of yourself ‘properly’ all on your own.

violence is a mainstay of your relationship, but not towards you; never towards you—merely towards everyone around you. his jealousy knows no bounds, but you will rarely see it outright. instead, ajax prefers to hone his emotions, to fashion them into a weapon or use them as fuel to thoroughly tear apart anyone who looks your way in a manner he doesn’t like. it’s his job as your lover and keeper, isn’t it? 

₊˚⊹ 𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭��� 𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨

AYATO knows what he is, and he doesn’t care. why should he, when he’s sure what he’s doing is ultimately correct and he’s used to having everything that he wants, and everything going his way, even if he has to force/manipulate it to? he’s so skilled at that in particular—manipulating situations and events to procure favourable outcomes for himself. in ayato’s mind, you should be grateful that he affords you so many freedoms—he could lock you away in the basement or a padded room, chain you to a bed with no entertainment or stimulation save for the books he has so conscientiously selected for you, and no other human contact aside from himself. but he trusts you, and he doesn’t want to go to those measures (though rest assured, he has promised you he will not hesitate to reach such heights if he deems it absolutely necessary, no matter how much he doesn’t want to; you staying his comes before his personal preferences and pleasures). as such, he allows you to roam the estate grounds under the watchful eye of his closest confidants and most capable guards (usually thoma, unless he is otherwise occupied and busy); he allows you access to letter writing materials (though they must go through two rounds of supervision and revisions before they are approved; once by thoma, and once by ayato himself); he allows you to go out in public as long as you are with him, etc. 

despite these apparent freedoms he affords you, he still picks your outfits out for you each day, and he devises a comprehensive meal plan for you each week, and creates schedules and rules he expects you to follow, thoroughly and meticulously to the letter. it is these subtle forms of ownership that he enjoys the most. he doesn’t feel the need to shout from the mountaintops, loudly and aggressively, that you are his, because the fact is so obvious, so evident, the second anyone merely glances at you. you walk like him, you talk like him, you sit, stand, and bow like him, just like he trained you to. 

ayato is also the type of yandere to punish you. he is molding your pretty little mind into exactly what he wants it to be, and that means that undesirable behaviours must be immediately and severely corrected through appropriate punishments—you must learn, or be taught what is right and what is wrong in ayato terms + definitions, so you will refrain from repeating such behaviour in the future. he is truly crafting you into the most perfect, precious, obedient little doll—and having a blast while doing so. it’s his little pet passion project, in a way; something he looks forward to working on when he has a moment of spare time. 

ayato was sly and clever with the way he initially enticed you, entrapped you, but underneath his cool, precisely chiseled exterior, ayato is selfish, manipulative, and extremely controlling. all decisions are ultimately made by and go through him. he will skillfully and carefully cut you off from all lifelines and communication, rendering you wholly dependent on him, and then will meticulously chip away at your mind until he sculpts it into exactly what he desires—someone who is as obsessed with him as he is with them. he slowly, stealthily, and steadily induces a severe, irreversible case of stockholm syndrome. the damage he does to your mind is permanent—and that’s exactly his goal. you now live for him. your days are marked by his appearances, his comings and goings, and the only thing you have to look forward to is seeing + spending time with him. you live to please him, live to be with him, and become absorbed by him, so you are merely an extension of him and no longer an individual yourself. everything revolves around ayato—he is your entire universe. 

₊˚⊹ 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚

THOMA is the most dangerous type of yandere, because thoma is genuine. thoma’s feelings are 100% authentic—and he earnestly intends to bring you no harm whatsoever—they’re just way too intense. he loves you so much that it veers into insanity, and the passion he feels towards you (and towards keeping you safe + claiming you as his) is so fierce that it physically hurts him to experience, chest blistering with scorching adoration and razored affection, something so dense and so all-consuming that thoma wants to claw through his own flesh and pry his ribcage apart spoke by spoke just so he can experience a shred of relief. 

thoma is, for the most part, an honest guy—starkly, brashly honest, so honest it shatters his words and gnaws at his voice, leaving it rough and raw, splintered to shards; but you can always trust he says exactly what he means. he severely lacks self awareness, not even realizing that his behaviour is inappropriate and extreme (he just cares about you SO much! it blinds his rationale and erodes his logic, incapacitating his ability to understand that he’s so suffocating it borders on terrifying). 

but what makes thoma so incredibly perilous is his sincerity. he truly just wants to keep you safe, eyes brimming with tears and voice hitching on barely contained emotion as he thoroughly explains to you his logic for stashing tracking devices in your bags or his reasoning for shattering the kneecaps of the man who made you uncomfortable at work, sentiment thick in his throat, words straining with the weight of his honesty, with the desperation for you to understand, to see it his way. he swears to the high heavens that he’d never hurt a single hair on your pretty, precious little head, and promises that he doesn’t want to scare you, but firmly asserts that he will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. 

and he means it. thoma is, in the most essential sense, your guard dog. he’s so sweet towards you, even submissive at times, always subservient to your every wish and whim, your every demand and desire, but he’ll fucking rip anyone within a meter of you to pieces with his teeth and bare hands alone if he feels as though you are being threatened in any way—and his standards and definition of ‘threatened’ are extreme and absurd, of course, causing him to react in a way that is severely disproportionate to the situation.

it borders on too much all the time—he is too obsessive, too protective, too clingy, but he’s also so sweet, so gentle, so incredibly bonafide that you can’t help but not be upset with him. he only does what he does because you’re his entire world, right? what’s so harmful about that? 

[bittwitchy]

Sebastian Stan. in a bathtub, which is all I actually got out of this movie.

[lee-minhoe]

lee know as a tsundere manga character for @skzfaker's bday🥳

[beannoss]

Hi Bean!

I have a question for you! I have noticed in your writings that Twilight and Yor begin a romantic relationship after their secrets are revealed. Are you opposed to any romance between them before they find out? I assume if so, it’s because it’s morally questionable, though a lot of fans find romance before compelling as it raises the stakes considerably. I’m not suggesting one is right and the other is wrong, I’m just interested in your take on this! I love your writing! Thank you! 😊

Hello you! I'm always chuffed to see your name pop up 🫶😊!

Oh boy! Thank you for this ask — it's a big question but also I do have thoughts XD Sorry it's taken me a few days to get my ducks in a row!

I want to start, though, by emphasising that my thoughts and preferences here are exclusive to Spy x Family as a canon enterprise; they don't pertain to fanworks or other fan theories, I'm not out to yuck anyone's yum ✌️ ditto for even my own writing! You're right that I don't really have an interest in exploring that dynamic but I reserve the right to change my mind ;)!

[Reference herein to manga chapters not yet animated]

Right, so. There's lots of things I love about SxF, but one of the things that interested me early and keeps me engaged is that it operates under an interesting and complex morality. Spy work and contract killing are obviously an ethical minefield, and in the real world, generally to the bad. Within the world of SxF, Endo takes pains to write Twilight and Yor both firmly on the morally right side, even if Twilight’s tactics or Yor’s actions in a vacuum are frequently questionable. With Twilight especially it seems Twilight is currently (resisting) working through the impact and ethical implication of his actions on Anya. When it comes to Yor, I expect that’s where we’ll see him wrestle with similar questions through a romance lens. I think it was quite deliberate and important that Twilight specifically articulated that he’d been wondering if Yor had previous romantic relationships, and that it was now confirmed she hadn’t. As far as I can remember, it’s the only time he’s had that sort of reflection on Yor's life before the Forgers; I mention it because it mirrors times he’s reflected explicitly on Anya’s history and trauma and her needs as a child, with implication that his actions and motivations for adopting her could/probably will hurt her. I hazard that his observation about Yor will be similarly indicative of an arc down the line.

When it comes to canon, if the Yor x Twilight romance were to firm up while Yor still believes Twilight is Loid, I admit there’s a high chance I’d nope out. I want to emphasize firm up though… I tend to think Yor already has feelings for Loid (Twilight?) whether she’s fully aware of them or would necessarily articulate them as romantic (and I think this is being really interestingly conveyed and explored through her current feelings about kissing, though I may differ with some on how I think that may shake out). I also think there’s a… less high but not impossible chance that Twilight is aware he has or is developing feelings for Yor. I’ve argued before that he knows he has formed/is forming an attachment to her and that he knows he trusts her. I don’t think it’s too far from there to romantic feelings for Twilight: after all, attachment and trust (intimacy) are not things he's had in a long, long time. And given his current pseudo-short temper and general malaise comes out most with Anya, with Yor he’s been notably softer and more receptive. In my view, this is partially because so far he hasn't really done much that would really hurt Yor and nor has she done anything that would really hurt Twilight. So far, Twilight and Yor are on a fairly even footing.

This is a very long way of saying that I trend toward thinking we’ve got at least a few toes into the romance already.

The reasons I’d be a squicked by the firming up of the romance, pre-reveal, are related to its being morally questionable as you pointed out (I'll talk a bit more about that in a moment.) But it's also because I think it would undermine character arcs and dominant themes.

Twilight’s arc involves finding and forging a new pack, a new family. Somewhere safe and loving that he’s been denied essentially for his whole life (I don’t dispute that his mother loved him deeply and did her best to protect him: living with an abuser and then with her under war was never going to actually be or feel safe). A big part of this safety and love for Twilight is about being accepted, warts and all. Twilight started lying because he wasn’t accepted by his father as he was. There’s a fair bit to work through by way of accepting Twilight’s warts already — I think Yor will be fairly understanding as things currently stand, and that’s part of why they’re a good match. Their moral compasses, their sacrifices, how they see the world and how they want to try and make it better, align and/or resonate in foundational ways. However, given their current standing, pursuing deeper intimacy of a romantic/sexual relationship with Yor before reveals, I think would take it past the line. And particularly when considering Yor’s character arc.

Yor’s arc is also around finding love and security, but centred less around acceptance (although that obviously also explicitly features!) and more around self-worth and understanding her value. If the romance were to firm up pre-reveal, the false pretences are… I mean, to me, they lob a Molotov cocktail into that theme of self-worth and being valued, as she really would just be being used: the intimacy could never be real because Twilight is not Loid Forger. To expand a bit on an earlier point, perhaps ironically, Yor’s relationship with Loid is mostly on the up-and-up: they both know any marital connection they demonstrate is fake. They may be (are) friends, and also they’re under no illusions that it’s something of a tenuous friendship (at least for now). They co-parent Anya but are clear that this co-parenting comes with clear lines around and between their relationship otherwise. I want to tread mindfully here, because I also really like and appreciate aroace interpretations of Yor and Twilight and their relationship: I think this discussion around firming up their romance actually also holds true in the case of attempting to substantially deepen their platonic bond, pre-reveal. In the same ways, Twilight needing acceptance and Yor learning self-worth would be severely undermined by a pre-reveal apparent and false deepening of their commitment to one another.

On the point of it being morally questionable generally, yeah it is. I mean, look, it's fiction and they aren't real people who can be hurt by those actions. So in principle, Endo can write what story he wants, I wouldn't think it reflected poorly on him or anything like that. I just don't really want to read a story that goes to that place; it’s a squick. I'm sure this has been discussed before in fandom, but my read on the moral dubiety centres around the idea that it isn’t possible to actively choose or meaningfully consent to emotional or physical intimacy when one person is lying about who they are (and in this case, they're both lying about who they are... Although Twilight to a greater extent). This does tie back into SxF themes as well, as choice and consent are also… maybe not big themes of SxF exactly, but active choice and informed consent are things which have come up more than once (I have my thoughts as to why: for a character whose choices drive so much of the narrative, Twilight is actually also a character who’s shown to have little actual choice or control over much of his own life. Considering his motivations for a world where children don’t cry, imo valuing active choice and meaningful consent are important factors required for that world. And I also actually suspect the theme of choice will become more important the more we learn about Donovan, and his role as foil for Twilight.)

Also, honestly for me, it would be too close to a common trope in a lot of popular western fiction/media that I don’t like: a woman being taken advantage of by a man in some way, shape or form, and then through the magic of her non-specific womanness, forgiving him his gross transgressions under the thinnest of pretences. Particularly as Endo has already taken pains to sidestep that as a foundation of their arrangement. To be fair, I wouldn't be surprised that were Endo to take the pre-reveal romance path, it would be a deeper interpretation of that trope, but as with other sexist tropes utilised in pop fiction/media, I have to ask why the choice couldn’t have been for a more interesting path, rather than retreading that one. And particularly given everything he's established for Twilight and Yor: it goes against much of what Twilight stands for — and indeed goes against much of what he meaningfully brings in his current relationship with Yor, that of encouraging her, supporting her, and shoring up her thoughts, opinions and self-image, particularly when she voices upset or doubt about them. It also goes against much of what Yor stands for: while the power imbalance would lie firmly with Twilight, it remains true that Yor’s lies in an apparently deepening intimacy would also undermine the safety and security she ostensibly creates for Twilight. She also so obviously hates lying, the prospect of her keeping her secret into what she believed was a real relationship would wreck her. Doubly so, given the weight Yor puts on Loid's acknowledgement of who she is and what she believes: something she hangs her self-worth on, a recognition of her value. And I'd argue here that it would actually, conversely, be impossible for Loid Forger to acknowledge or accept Yor's truth: that's only something Twilight can do.

And so I guess there’s also just the bare fact following from the above that I think a pre-reveal firming up of their relationship is the less interesting choice for what is a major franchise that has otherwise done innovative things. Another reason I love SxF is that it subverts tropes and complicates cliches. One of which includes communication: for a pair who have crossed lines as a foundation of their relationship, Yor and Twilight actually do a lot of communicating. That’s a subversion of many heterosexual romantic tropes and norms, at least in a Western context, and, to put it sort of flippantly, it would bum me out if it failed at the final hurdle.

I just want to emphasise one more time, my opinions and preferences here are strictly related to Spy x Family in an official canon capacity, and nothing to do with fanworks or fan theories or what fans want to explore in whatever fashion. Part of my feelings here are also honestly because of the tone and pacing of SxF. I think it entirely possible to do interesting things with those tropes and actually think Endo is the type of writer I would trust to do so. But the way SxF is written by way of tone, pacing, narrative priorities and audience demand, I don't think even Endo would be able to do them within SxF in ways that wouldn't squick me out and make me lose love for Twilight, specifically, pretty entirely. I'd rather he just didn't 😂

Tl;dr: in canon exclusively I’m not into a firming up of their romantic relationship pre-reveal! Their situation is complicated enough as it is; give these goobers the love they want and can share with one another, kindly and gently, when the world has been neither kind nor gentle with them. In my view, it’s already primed in their character and thematic arcs 🫶

[creativesplat]

I would also like to see some miphlink, if that's okay!

I was really struggling with what to draw, and then I remembered your ask from ages ago (dang ADHD brain...) anyway, sorry its such a late answer, but Miphlink inspired by Dicksee's La Belle Dame

[1000dactyls]

TRANS HICCUP!!!! Him and Astrid are very t4t

berk’s power couple

[p1ctur3]

Can't believe it has been a full year since I starting posting AvA/M fanart

so I redrew my first piece of fanart :]

[ef-1]

burn your village | female rage playlist

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I'm glad we had a conversation about the real important topics in shul: whether or not we do kosher minecraft runs and why it is/isn't permissible to not follow kashrut

[polin-erospsyche]

The broken furniture is featured in the trailer???

THIS IS THE STAR OF SEASON 3 OF BRIDGERTON ISNT IT???

@polinsated if they actually finish on the floor and he acts « all gentlemen-like and protect her head or cradles her as soon as he hears the crack of the chair » in their not yet bought house you can pay for my therapy bills 😂

[vladdyissues]

I always liked to share my cute Au's But I never got to the right place to say them...Sharing this anonymously I know it's cowardly...I'm a coward, one who thinks Danielle would be a nice daughter for Vlad and Danny

No mistreatment, no abuse, none of that... Just love, love from cute husbands and their spoiled little daughter who likes to braid her father Vlad's hair while eating cheese balls, Little family moments where they go to play and Dani's "ewww" sound when her parents kiss, When they snuggle up on the couch to watch a movie covered with a blanket and laugh while watching Frozen while Dani says that Olaf looks like Danny, Vlad spitting out his breakfast coffee while Danny tries to cook pancakes for breakfast while his daughter tells how she likes a boy at her school, And Vlad screaming that he knew that putting her in a public school was a terrible option, Sobbing into Danny's cute chef outfit about why he didn't grow up so fast and how he didn't want to be without a nun...Oh just walking in the park, Danny scolding his husband between kisses for spoiling his daughter so much and not giving her all his attention, and having cute moments when his daughter goes to school, Many kisses and caresses are more cloying than a cup of honey with chocolate and sugar, And how Dani jumps on his parents' bed shouting "it's daylight!" Like a child when it's already Christmas...

Yes, Pompous pep is love.

It truly is ♥

[puppyeared]

i also have unaddressed therian feelings… sometimes i feel like a creature looking out from a human’s body yk

i get what u mean..!! im still trying to understand it too, but im happy to finally have a word that describes the feeling. i cant say for sure what will help u come to terms with your feelings, but i think its good to find people who will listen and take it seriously ^_^