#tf2 zhanna x ms. pauling

[tf2shipswag]

ROUND 2

[jevilowo]

Conceptualising! Plotting! Theorising!

What if in Tf2 comic 7 Olivia summons the Horseless Headless Horseman? I'm pretty sure HHH was supposed to protect the Manns and she is like. The last one left. So.

Helen's debt has sOMETHING to do with the Darling-Mann connection (Redmond, Blutarch and Gray's mother, Bette, was a Darling, as shown on their birth cert), I swear.

My favourite connection theory is "Bette had an affair (cough cough Barnabus was the only one to mourn her cough they totally did it cough cough) and Charles was the result of that", which would make Charles technically a Mann and technically eligible to inherit Mann Co.

He would have no qualms on JAGUAR ATTACKing Olivia and this is where my favourite boy HHH comes in FIGHT TO THE DEATH OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!!!

Meanwhile the mercs are having a kickass party to celebrate the events of comics 1-6. Heavy and Medic are making out sloppy style in one corner. Soldier and Zhanna are doing the same in another. Scout's Ma is here and both Spy and Pauling (she deserves a positive interaction with another woman damnit!!) are frothing at the mouth. Scout is doing the Shinji pose.

Dell is haunted by visions (Fred is alive probably). Pyro will not let go of him. Everyone who hasn't died yet gets to, as a little treat. Probably because of the aforementioned jaguars.

Cmedic shows up because that is a whole thing that hasn't been referenced yet. Maybe he is Charles. That would be deranged idk why I typed that. Saxton and Mags are making out in yet another corner.

Chell and Gordon show up. Gman says some shit like wake up and smell the jarate mister freeman and they all get jarated and Kleiners stupid teleporter brings them back.

The comic ends with HHH adopting Olivia because they both deserve nice things. They bond over a shared enjoyment of Running A Business. Merasmus shows up for three seconds to yell at Soldier for killing the beatles or some shit. I personally hit Gaben in the face. The end.

[call-metiger]

the ONLY TF2 ships with basis in canon are:

- soldier x zhanna (comics canon)

- ms. pauling x scout (scout has a crush on her in the intros)

- spy x scout's mom (they had a romance in the intros)

- heavy x medic (implied by their voice actors (arguably not based in canon actually))

- sniper x administrator (implied by their voice actors and in the skits done by all the VAs (arguably not based in canon either))

this post isn't proving anything or making any points btw I just was thinking about it

PROSHIP DNI

[mentaly-british-biologist]

TF2 PLAYABLE CAHARCTER LORE:

Okay, so just some context. Mann Co is a business organisation that runs most other companies in the world. Everything was shared equally between two brothers/heirs to the corporations power and money, apart from one thing in particular. A gravel pit.These two brothers, known as Redmond and Blutard Mann wanted to overachive and be better than one another, so decided to hire mercenaries to fight for this land. This original team, founded between 1800-1850's was comprised of Billy the Kid, Stonewall Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Alfred Nobel, John Henry, Nikola Tesla, Sigmund Freud, Davy Crockett, and Fu Manchu. They would take the roles of the mercinaries like so:

Scout: Billy the Kid (1859 - 1881)

Soldier: Stonewall Jackson (1824 - 1863)

Pyro: Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Demoman: Alfred Nobel (1833 - 1896)

Heavy: John Henry (Folk Hero)

Engineer: Nikola Tesla (1856 - 1943)

Medic: Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)

Sniper: Davy Crockett (1786 - 1836)

Spy: Fu Manchu (Fictional Villain)

These people would battle with others with similar weapons, stature, and power until they would eventually get too old to fight.After this, the two brothers soon realised that they may die prematurely before the battle could end, so asked for personal commissioned machinery designed to keep them alive for longer. [[This will be elaborated in the plot later, this stuff is kinda important.]]Okay, now the old team is dead. Time for the new ones. 1930's mercs were probably the most advanced out of all of the mercs, with the 1850 mercenaries looking like they've been pulled off the streets to fight, and the 1970 mercs looking like a mix of the two old teams designs. Everyone has some sort of camo on them apart from their engineer, who possibly be Fred Conagher, the father of the Engineer we know and love. Fred Conhager, in particular, may be the same man who created the machines keeping the Mann brothers alive, but we are currently unsure. The next generation, and the one we know today is the 1970's team. This consists of:

Scout- Jeremy

Soldier- Jane Doe

Pyro- Unknown

Demoman- Tavish Finnegan DeGroot

Heavy- Mikhail

Engineer- Dell Conagher

Medic- Mr. Ludwig

Sniper- Mick Mundy (Adoptive name)

Spy- Unknown

Along side them is Ms.Pauling and The Administrator. I'll list out characters as shown, one by one.

**SCOUT**

Full name is unknown, so we'll stick to Jeremy. He was born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts, USA. He is the youngest of eight children, and so constantly looks for attention. Can't read, but can run extremely fast. Seems that a specific brand of fizzy drink, known as Atomic Bonk can make him much faster. Dies in the comics and goes to heaven, whete he is told he was God's gift to all women, and was sent back to earth to 'get laid' [[This is the comics words, not mine]]

Has a tattoo of tom jones with the words 'S€X BOM' on it [Told you he couldn't read] and is canonically Spy's son. Has a crush on Ms. Pauling.

**SOLDIER**

His name may not even be Jane Doe. Because those are USA and UK placeholder names for unidentifiable corpses. [[Jane Doe as a woman]] Is a God-fearing patriotic Midwest American. Despite his role in the team, he has not once been in a war situation. He just got to the frontlines in WW2 and started blowing up Germans. He has lead poisoning, although we're not sure if that's why he's like this, he is extremely aggressive and has a special move called 'rocket jumping' where he can fire a rocket at his feet, shooting him into the air. It doesn't hurt him however, because he doesn't think it will [[So stupid he bends nature's laws at will??!?!?]] He was also roommates with a wisard called Merasmus. Merasmus kicked him out, and tom jones became his new roommate.

Soldier kills tom jones. For no reason. Soldier is also in love with Heavy's sister, Zhanna.

**PYRO**

Whoo boy, this is a confusing one. We do not know Pyro's gender, where they're from, or even if they are a person. We do know that many characters refer to Pyro as he/him, but Soldier does have a suspicion that they might be a woman. He may be schizophrenic, or it could be their optical mask, but he sees the battle as a fluffy arena filled with unicorns and lollipops. However, they do have the capacity to be very much enraged, and cut off Soldier's hand once when in a car with Demoman and Ms. Pauling.

**DEMOMAN**

Drunk. Born in Ullapool, Scottland. His parents were Tilly DeGroot and her husband who we don't know , whom both are blind. Demoman was put up for adoption by them after being bad at blowing things up. He would eventually find a book called 'The Bomonicon' [[I hope i wrote that right]] with a mischievous spirit inside. Once he had opened the book, the spirit inside made it's way to his eye, haunting his eyesocket, and making him lose said eye. He then blows up his adoptive parents while trying to hunt for the loch ness monster, then gets taken back by his original parents. His mother keeps asking him to get a job, even though he makes 3 million+ a year. Loves alcohol. Like, really loves alcohol, so much so, that when he eats normal food, his body thinks it's been poisoned. After an extensive time away from alcohol, his body turns his stomach into a makeshift distillery, fermenting bone marrow into alcohol. This alcohol in particular is so strong, it gives blood-sucking robots [[Don't ask]] alcohol poisoning. Can also do something similar to Soldier by 'Stickybomb jumping' that also takes no damage, due to him being too drunk.

**HEAVY**

Heavy was born in Russia sometime around WW1. His father was an anti-revolutionary who opposed the Communist uprising, so he was executed and Heavy's family put in the gulag for three months before it was burnt down in 1941 and all the guards tortured to death. Yeah, you heard me right, the gulag. He has three sisters called Zhanna, Yana and Bronislava. His mothers name is currently unknown to us. His weight is the same as his HP: 300. He is quite a nice guy when it comes to his teammates and gives even more affection to his guns, who of one he has a case at the end of his bed for. This gun in particular is named Sasha, of which he is very possessive and which weighs 150 kilograms and fires $200 custom-tooled cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute. He also reveals that it costs $400,000 to fire his weapon for 12 seconds. Heavy has named all of his primary weapons, basic Minigun being Sasha, Tomislav being Svetlana, Brass Beast being Oksana and Huo Long Heater being Sheila. He was also the first in the team to have the experimental ubercharge operation and survive, making him bulletproof. Also sandvich.

**ENGINEER**

Known as Dell Conagher, this man has eleven PhD's. Yes, you read that right. ELEVEN. He was born in Bee Cave, Texas, USA, and may or may not be related to one of the previous mercinaries in the classic team. Apart from this, he has created machines like teleporters [[Don't put bread in them]], sentries, and dispensers that he can place around the battlefield to help his team. He is friends with Pyro, and seems to understand them, despite their speech being muffled. One of the only few to help The Administrator with her Australium-Age related problem, and answered the phone for her when she died once.

**MEDIC**

Okay, this will be too long if I go into detail. This is quickfire. Mr. Ludwig was born in Stuttgart, Germany and has little regard for the Hippocratic Oath. He is insane. He loves doves, especially his most beloved one, Archimedes. Managed to get into contact with the devil and made a deal that would cost his soul. We do not know what he had sold his soul for, but the chances it was for his medical 'discoveries' is quite high. Managed to steal an entire skeleton and got away. Lost his medical licence soon after this. While giving his teammates surgeries, stole all of their souls and surgically added them to his own soul. During a Halloween party, he was caught off gaurd by a mugger. After knocking him out, he then put the muggers brain in a pumpkin.This would later help him out. Re-hired to aid the 1930 Classic team for a new leader, *Grey Mann*. When sniper was shot down by the classic's heavy, he brought him back to life an hour later with the help of a blue whale's pineal gland directly into his brain stem. The entire surgery cost about 1.3 billion dollars. Classic heavy, after seeing this, crushes his favourite dove, Archimedes. He also brings his bird back to life. After this, classic heavy and Medic get into a fight. Heavy shows up, only for classic heavy to shoot Ludwig twice in the chest. After quickly swindling the devil by giving him another soul for a pen, he comes back to life, and then pretends it is an inducer that would make classic heavy give birth to three healthy baby baboons, due to the three baboon uterus's he had placed inside him during a surgery [[I'm confused too, don't worry]] Classic heavy belives the bluff, giving Heavy enough time to take him down. after that, he takes out the real inducer and claims that the human body could only generate two at the most.

**SNIPER**

He is Australian.

Except, he isn't. He's a New Zealander.

New Zealand is Atlantis btw.

His adoptive name is Mick Mundy, although his real first name is Mun-dee, like his real mother and father, Bil-Bel and Lar-nah, making his real name Mun-dee Mundy. New Zealand is underwater due to the fact that the geniuses wanted to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. After being shot out of the country in a Krypton-Superman-Spacepod style fashion, he is adopted by Jonathan Mundy and his wife Mrs. Mundy in Australia. He then becomes skilled in shooting from afar. In the most previous comic, he dies. Medic brings him back to life, and he immediately attacks him, asking why he was the last person he saw before bleeding out. Yeah, he also pees in a jar and throws it at people as a weapon, so... yeah. Also, golf trophy.

**SPY**

Not much is really known about his past but all that is known is that he was born in France in an unknown region. It's a mystery on how he became a master spy and a master of disguise as no one knows if someone trained him or he rather he trained himself. We do know however, that he is Scout's father. He seems to hate everyone and everything, and may or may not have lung cancer due to how many cigarettes he smokes. He is snarky, witty, and cocky, some of these traits are shared with Scout also. He got shot in the kneecaps when a plan in the latest comic, and Sniper saved him by shooting the guy who did it. He also disguised as Tom Jones when Scout was dying, and for the first time, directly called him son. He wears a custom tailored Louis Crabbermaché suit, is valued at $10,000, and has his own smoking room within the base.

I made this all in the Undertale server. Don't ask.

This took me three days to do.

[tf2heritageposts]

frankly i think most tf2 ships r mid…like i cant see any of these men beung together under any circumstances. the one exception for me is (kinda?) ms pauling and zhanna

honestly that’s a bad take. these guys are basically puppets you can put into a variety of scenarios(which is why gmod animations were so popular). these guys can have a variety of relationships, including romantic. pauling x zhanna is good though

[scarletdevilz]

tf2 tumblr i offer this to you all

[tf2headcanonz]

Can I request zhanna, pauling, and femreader poly hcs??

Of course you can! I’ll be writing this as a triad polycule btw :)

Zhanna loves showering the both of you in affection a lot! Expect her to pepper you both with plenty of kisses. She also really loves when you two do the same to her! She is a very affectionate woman and is always happy to give and receive it.

She also really loves when you both cuddle with her! She is a very warm person and loves when her gfs cuddle up with her and she can warm them both up. 

She really enjoys caring for both of you a lot. She will always be there to make sure you are both happy with each other and happy with her, too. She wants you both to be happy and loved no matter what! She will tell you both how much she loves you both constantly. 

Zhanna really enjoys going out on dates with the both of you, she hasn’t experienced a lot of things having lived in Sibera most of her life, so she is always excited to go places and do things together with you, she is very adventurous! 

Zhanna also enjoys teasing you both, and making you blush. Of course, she is most successful with teasing Pauling and making her very flustered. It’s very cute however, and Pauling really loves it.

Pauling prefers to be on the receiving end of affection, she is actually pretty shy with giving intimacy, but will always appreciate hugs and kisses and cuddles from you and Zhanna.

Pauling prefers to just chill and be sweet with you two. With the stress of her job, she really just loves to spend personal time with you both, watching movies or tv, cooking together, in general, domestic stuff is her fav.

Pauling loves how much she is cared about by you two. She’s never really had a true relationship before you two, and having a loving relationship with two women is so new to her, but also so important and healing. When she’s had a tough day at work she loves to come home to the both of you and all her worries melt away in your company. 

Pauling expresses her love for you both in telling you how grateful she is for the both of you and how wonderful and beautiful you are to her, she earnestly wants to be with you two forever. 

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

here's a rare pair, Zhanna x Ms Pauling

Ehhh I don't love it. Zhanna doesn't like her! I would probably like it if Zhanna didn't like. Yknow. Kinda hate Miss P. Not her type. Weak woman. Small woman. Etc. To say something positive about it I think Pauling is totally like. Attracted to Zhanna but I don't think she would like Zhanna romantically. Also disclaimer I totally totally totally get the desire to have wlw ships as a wlw In Fandom(tm) believe me I'll smush girlies who have never interacted in canon together like Barbies to make them kiss but yknow. If ever there were a tf2 character who didn't like another one it's Zhanna @ Pauling

[ascendedsandvich]

Masterlist

last updated: 8/8/20 

My rule page updated

Tf2 Headcanons:

Scout 

Soldier

Pyro

Engie 

Heavy

Demoman 

Sniper 

Medic 

Spy 

Ms Pauling 

Zhanna 

All the mercs: 

The mercs guilty pleasures 

Merc dynamics 

Mercs reaction to a friend being asexual/aromantic

How the mercs act when you confess your love 

Would the mercs wear a dress just to feel confident?

How the mercs show love 

Which of the mercs are most likely to be trans?

Halloween with the mercs

Mercs reaction to their freak fortress counterpart

Mercs reaction to you being a mom

Mercs reaction to an s/o who is always tired

Mercs reaction to an s/o who never has an appetite

How the mercs feel about being drawn

How the mercs help their sad s/o

Mercs reaction to a spitfire s/o

Mercs reaction to an s/o that never sleeps

Support class pining over a girl on their team

Mercs reaction to a geeky s/o

How the mercs deal with a constantly sad s/o

Support class with a s/o insecure about acne scars 

Mercs reaction to a childish friend 

Mercs with an Irish fem s/o 

Mercs reaction to a friend who has trauma from bullying

Angsty merc headcanons

Mercs with bad parents who are going to meet up with them

Mercs reaction to their s/o dressing up cute, and making a homemade cake for their birthday

Mercs reaction to a big spider in the base

Zhanna x fem reader headcanons 

How the mercs take care of their s/o on bedrest 

What the mercs would do if they got lost

Ships:

Science party 

Speeding bullet 

Texas toast

Red oktoberfest

Bush medicine

Helmet party 

[tf2shipswag]

ROUND 1 MATCH 12

[image id: an image showing the contestants for this round of the tf2 polycule swag bracket.

there is a separator going through the middle with a modified team fortress 2 logo, so that the middle is a heart rather than a circle. in the background there is a faint view of red howells polyamorous flag, under a heavy brown tint.

on the left, blu spy, red soldier, and merasmus are all standing close together. on the right, zhanna, pauling, and the aministrator are also standing close to one another. /end id.]

[tf2shipswag]

ROUND 2 MATCH 6

[image id: an image showing the contestants for this round of the tf2 polycule swag bracket.

there is a separator going through the middle with a modified team fortress 2 logo, so that the middle is a heart rather than a circle. in the background there is a faint view of red howells polyamorous flag, under a heavy brown tint.

on the left, 6 red spies are all standing close together. on the right, zhanna, pauling, and the administrator are also standing close to one another. /end id.]

[tf2shipswag]

ROUND 4 MATCH 2

[image ID:

image 1 (furthest left): zhanna, the administrator, and ms pauling standing side by side in front of a transparent background.

image 2 (middle): red sniper, red spy, and red medic standing side by side in front of a transparent background.

image 3 (furthest right): blu demoman, red soldier, and merasmus standing side by side in front of a transparent background.

/end ID.]

[tf2shipswag]

ROUND 4 MATCH 1

[image ID:

image 1 (furthest left): red demoman, red soldier, and zhanna standing side by side in front of a transparent background.

image 2 (middle): ms pauling, blu scout's mom, and red spy standing side by side in front of a transparent background.

image 3 (furthest right): red engineer, red medic, and red demoman standing side by side in front of a transparent background.

/end ID.]

[tf2shipswag]

ROUND 1, MATCH 8

[image id: an image showing the contestants for this round of the tf2 polycule swag bracket.

there is a separator going through the middle with a modified team fortress 2 logo, so that the middle is a heart rather than a circle. in the background there is a faint view of red howells polyamorous flag, under a heavy brown tint.

on the left,blu medic, red spy, blu demoman, and red soldier are all standing close together. on the right, red sniper, red soldier, zhanna, and ms pauling are also standing close to one another. /end id.]

[tf2shipswag]

ROUND 3 MATCH 3

[image id: an image showing the contestants for this round of the tf2 polycule swag bracket.

there is a separator going through the middle with a modified team fortress 2 logo, so that the middle is a heart rather than a circle. in the background there is a faint view of red howells polyamorous flag, under a heavy brown tint.

on the left, blu medic, blu spy, and blu heavy are all standing close together. on the right, zhanna, the administrator, and ms pauling are also standing close to one another. /end id.]

[jevilowo]

MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS TF2 SHIPS

For funsies

SCIENCE PARTY:

fun ship, but they're GodComplex4GodComplex and I fear that would only end in disaster

TOASTED SANDVICH:

if there is one heavypyro fan on this stupid baka planet it is me. shout out to menacing quiet individuals who like violence but have a soft side fr.

BLOODY SUIT:

literally The Original toxic yaoi rivals to lovers red blue combo ship. speeding bullet and napoleon complex fans WISH they had our shared update and corresponding voice lines

BATTING HELMET: (scout n solly)

i just think it's really funny trust me on this one guys. have you seen them in the fourth comic it's a constant "yes, and" bit between the two of them. soldier's love language is choking people out.

HIT AND A MISS: (scout n pauling)

like most ms pauling ships, i'm only into it if scout's a cool lesbian. which he is not most of the time.

RED OKTOBERFEST:

AAAAAAAAAAAAA literally the ship of all time save me heavymedic save me. if they don't smooch in the next comic i will become jay pinkerton's personal sleep paralysis demon.

SPEEDING BULLET:

my feelings on it are Complicated. twas my first love (otp) in this fandom, but the overabundance of twinky uwu scout and daddy dom snoipah has built up some resentment on my part. call me back when people stop making up imaginary life problems for sniper to comfort scout over.

NAPOLEON COMPLEX: (Spy n Engie)

literally just rarjack if they were boys and not horses to me and i'm not even an mlp fan. it's alright, just doesn't really stick out to me.

SPYMA:

LITERALLY THE POWERCOUPLE EVER TRULY A LOVE STORY FOR THE AGES or at least the version that exists in my head is. i have so much made up spyma lore it's crazyyy. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with sniper it's quickly becoming my favourite genre of fanart (i have seen at maximum three)

SUPPORT SANDWICH: (spy n sniper n medic)

in my opinion, it is healthy for everyone to have at least one ship they just like bc they think it's hot. for me, that is support sandwich. not much else to say on that the fics are all banging go look them up.

SNIDOS: (sniper n GLaDOS)

hell yeah.

ADMINPAULING:

i used to like it a lot, but timelining implies ms pauling's been working for helen since her mid teens at the latest so i no longer like it. 4chan leaks my beloathed pleaseee don't make them kiss i think it would kill me in a bad way

URINE SAMPLE: (medic n sniper)

there's a lot of werewolf and vampire stuff for these two on ao3 which is pretty fun. and i'm way more likely to find sniper angst under the medicsniper tag than sb and bs which is always a plus.

FRENCH TOAST: (spyro)

have you seen that one animation where pyro gives birth to spy's child and gordon freeman is there at one point. yeahhhh. the ship's pretty cute tho spy would be sooo soft for pyro they'd light his cigarettes for him.

BOOTS AND BOMBS:

THE FORBIDDEN RED/BLU ROMANCE GOES CRAZY I ADORE IT. same team bnb is pretty banging too. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with zhanna.

SPYPAULING:

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. imagine. spy x pauling. yuri. that will be all.

SWORDVAN:

SWORDVAN MY LOVE!!! idk what it is about demo and sniper together but HELL YEAH TOP 5 SHIPS FR FR. shout out to the guy still writing monsterous intent, they're like single handedly carrying the swordvandom.

TEXAS TOAST:

I used to think "this is cute" but then my friend got really really into it and that hyped me up into "THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS OF ALL TIME" territory. bonus points if they're yuri! shout out to Technicolor California, my current favourite fanfic of all time (it overtook running blind in the interal rankings). oh yeah insert mandatory "no hate to engie and pyro father son dynamic preferers" message here lol.

Ok that's enough I will cover more at some point maybe.