#text message; fiona osman.

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: so man up and own ur mistake then babe :/ fiona: i'll tell u one thing fs ur not gna get asha by feeling sorry for urself fiona: PLEASE like handyman wasn't one of the most basic scenarios we started with, we're pretty much experts in this field now fiona: i need fresh exciting groundbreaking revolutionary! laurie: shit fi feels like you're my mom telling me off laurie: she wants space fi, what else can i do? laurie: damn well i take my hat off to you then miss professional 🤠 laurie: me too babes, me too

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: u clearly areeeee 🤭 serving disney princess cunt since v day 95 fiona: i know this sucks but space will probably be good for u guys rn. she didn't say she wanted u out of her life for good right? so like i said, maybe one day u two will get the timing right fiona: well if ur that desperate for deets!! mack and i tried doing a serial killer/final girl sex game the other day but i legit got too scared so we had to stop 😔 do u have any suggestions i'm always looking laurie: you know it baby girl laurie: i don't know, it feels very much that way though. just feels like i'm such a fuck up fi, last time i couldn't man up and commit and now it's too late laurie: oh shit he really got into character then!! not gonna lie i like the typical handyman turning up to save the sink from leaking 😈

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: did u just unironically agree that it's so pocahontas of u to do this <3 fiona: listen i'll drop it i just wanna say i KNOW it feels like ur never gna love again but literally u willllll!!! maybe one day down the road u and asha will get the timing right fiona: omg ty that's so nice considering the only physical trait i gave u was huge tits!! love u fiona: hmmmmm idt i have any new updates for u actually, i'm still fucking mountainside sasquatch on the regs 🤭 not that that's boring but not rly anything new laurie: i'm the baddest disney bitch in town fi laurie: i mean, she just told me she wants space and to end whatever this is that we're doing, fuck laurie: sounds spicy 😈 ughhhh i was depending on you to bring the goss and cheer me up with how amazing your love/sex life is 🙄😘

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: it is NOT shut for good, u get to have ur mourning period but after that i'm forcing u to see other people fiona: actually so pocahontas of u to choose the pain of love over no love at all fiona: but yes we can talk abt my humiliation more if that helps, it actually was so brutal. but also like why are u flirting w me when ur huge titted wife is literally around the corner.....so deranged laurie: i don't want to see other people fi, i'm too far down the rabbit hole laurie: yes and it's fucking painful that's for sure laurie: girl you live life on the edge sometimes!! at least you can say you're more attractive than some big titted lady, i mean i know that anyway but there's proof in the pudding laurie: update me on your love life, who you be fucking nowadays?? 😇

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: THE CUDDLING HDFGKSDJHS be serious laurie!!!!! oh u fools fiona: you talk abt her 24/7 literally if i hadn't figured it out i wld have to be dumbbbbbb as hell, THATS why it's on her too bc no way she didn't see ur little heart eyes fiona: i mean she's not wrong u don't owe her anything obviously but again like.....what did she expect skyfgdhuk like if ur gna fuck ur ex who's in love w u still it's eventually gna come out one way or another fiona: idk what u two have said to each other or talked abt or if u had like an understanding or smth but ya i'm gna go w ur both idiots fiona: idrt there's anything else u can do rn like if she doesn't wanna talk to u u have to respect that :/ laurie: i know, i’m kicking myself trust me laurie: i don’t talk about her that much.. well these lil heart eyes are tired now, this heart is done and shut for good not to be dramatic or anything laurie: i know, i’m an idiot but i don’t regret nor i wouldn’t change how i feel for her 😶 laurie: fi can we go back to talking about you humiliating yourself because this is shit and i’m tired

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: ur heart can want whatever it wants babe u still can't just go shouting ily when u cum :/ that's saur amateur fiona: she doesnt HATE u, that wld be an insane thing to hate u for, but ya idk what it'll do to ur relo. u two are so dumb for fucking like u knew this was gna happen, you've been pining over her soooo long fiona: it's on her too like idk what she expected, u can't just fuck ur ex who's still obsessed w u and expect to get away with it IUYFUTYGUKH fiona: aw 😔😔 what are u guys arguing abt rn like what's she saying laurie: fucking hell fi i'm not that stupid!! it was after, like during the cuddling 🙃 who you calling amateur laurie: sure feels like she does 😶 i don't know, i don't want to lose her again but what the fuck do i do now?? pfft how do you know that i mean i've barely spoken about our previous relationship laurie: oh, no i mean i've never really thought about it that way but she's done nothing wrong.. my fault for being the idiot i am laurie: i uh, i called her out for leaving me on read and avoiding me and she just said she's asked nothing of me etc etc we're not dating so she's not obliged to reply to me all that malarkey 👍🏽

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: LAURIEEEEGKDJGFJHGFJDHGS U TOLD HER U LOVE HER AFTER U FUCKED???? fiona: teenage boy behavior, we're adults we don't tell our exes/current fwb we love them we let it rot us from the inside!!! omg ur soooo girlypop for this fiona: it's asha so like she'll have a freakout rn, WELL EARNED i literally cb u did this to her, and then she'll get over it and u guys can pretend like it didn't happen and u can go back to yearning like the rest of us fiona: do u actually love her u freak or are u being hysterical and cosplaying as me laurie: ok i know i'm an idiot alright?!?! laurie: fuck it just happened, it felt right at the time and the heart wants what the heart wants and all that fucking jazz laurie: i just feel shit that's not how i wanted it to happen and now i've fucked it and she probably hates me laurie: FIONA i would never cosplay you but you know i'm always hysterical laurie: i do, i really do. which scares the shit out of me 🥺

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: not me waking up half past 11 fiona:

fiona: glad my devastating humiliation cld brighten ur day tho hehe fiona: what's got u grumpy laurie: snoozy lil thing 😴 laurie: you brighten my day whether you've been humiliated or not 💚 laurie: ahhh you really wanna hear it?? laurie: ok so, asha and i did the deed, again. and i know we're exes it's messy, it's complicated whatever but fuck, i can't stay away laurie: then my fucking big mouth goes and tells her i love her, which is a million percent true and shit it's scary to say that out loud laurie: but she left in a hurry and was avoiding me and now we've had a big ass argument and now i wanna just hide away eating cheetos for the rest of my life 😶

[ljjames]

fiona + laurie

fiona: babe wake up i just had the most humiliating experience of my life fiona: was talking to this dude at poshed flirting like CRAZY thought i 1000% had it in the bag was getting dick appt tn fiona: this older woman walks in with these GIANT fake tits like, absolutely insane huge, and i was like omg 🤭 look at this girly w two centers of gravity. he does NOT laugh i'm like ok noted bad sense of humor but whatever i'm not tryna bf him up right fiona: big tiddy old lady walks right up to us and the dude is just staringgggg at me and i'm like omfg it's his mom?? fiona: laurie it was his wife 😭😭😭 laurie: i was about to kick your ass for waking me up with all these damn messages laurie: but i'm glad you did because that's funny as fuck fi laurie: cheered me right up 😂 laurie: shame you didn't get the dick appt though 😭