#tell me u have negative brain cells without telling me u have negative brain cells

[dubacheryking]

i fucking hate people who play purity police about art i hate people that cant like a dark piece of art without saying OH WELL ITS FUCKED UP or OH HE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO JAIL FOR THIS ONE!!!! shut the fuck up ITS A FICTIONAL SONG. SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPPPPP

[villanevehaus]

Ch XII

Amused but not surprised to find that Eve’s love language is violence. So much kicking.

Enjoyed the “Russian smile” call out. I like thinking that it’s Eve’s way of seeing Oksana, even if she doesn’t realize that’s what she’s seeing.

I’m fascinated with how maladjusted Eve is and am enjoying that we continue to get little morsels about her childhood. Everyone experiences trauma differently, but contrasting her and Villanelle’s memories… it’s wild seeing where they’ve ended up.

Makes me happy to read about the pair of them flirting and playing together. Are they both chock full of cruelty and homicide? Sure. But it’s super cute.

Awkward acknowledgment and gratitude for the body contact/compression. Hopeful for an upcoming perspective swap where we can read how it made Eve feel, if Eve even knows.

Is it weird how much I like their interpersonal confrontations? I feel like fights with Niko centered on Niko’s needs and feelings, but when Eve gets testy with Villanelle, Villanelle pushes back differently. Villanelle centers the dialogue in a way that forces Eve to acknowledge her own feelings—and it makes Eve recognize how she’s treating Villanelle without making her more defensive. Cathartic as fuck.

Another one of Villanelle’s cheeky wordplays. “…fucked the life out of someone… .” Hooo boy, did she ever. Love, love, love it.

Oksana’s breakdown about family. :((( How are these moments so much harder to read than descriptions of fingers digging into intercostal muscle tissue? You know the scene in season 1 where Eve says Villanelle has earned the right to kill whoever? That’s how I feel about Oksana whenever I reread Oksana or Uncle or little moments like this family scene. You go ahead and murder whoever you want, sweet girl. *gentle pat on the head*

I’ll be honest, I have never liked Hélène’s character. Every moment she’s in the show, my brain screams SKIP. But I trust you and look forward to how you’ll leverage her character for something interesting and intrinsic to the plot.

As ever, thank you for a lovely chapter after the last few weeks you’ve had. I have this saying, “One too many rides at the fair”—whether it’s good or bad things, sometimes we experience one too many things and it ends up overwhelming. It sounds like you had a lot of rides at the fair. I’ve had a lot of rides at the fair lately, too, and it was such a kindness to still have a new chapter of TME to read. Really, thank you, haus.

tme anon

Postscript - let me know what you think of The Cell, if you get around to watching it. I triggered my own worms and have rewatched it twice myself since mentioning it.

TME: i am so glad you like their conflicts bc thats exactly what vil (and i) are trying to do! eve may not know how shes feeling but she sure is feeling it.

THE CELL: here are the notes i took while watching it in the dark on my Big Screen:

- JENNIFER LOPEZ

- VINCE VAUGHN!??!?!?

- VINCENT D'NOFRIO?!?!?

- music by howard shore hello???

- what da hell

- "directed by tarsem singh" yea that tracks

- please tell me that [carl] isnt vince vaughn w hair

- i love when movies toss u in and are like good luck!!! :) feels very "this is MY movie and I get to make the sense"

- jlo being frustrated that she cant sleep while in a room that has all the lights AND the television on. girl the call is coming from inside the house!!!

- how is he spiking himself up like that wadda hell

- oh hey its the guy from breaking bad

- oh my god its vince vaughn with hair

- "i thought you were gonna go home, get some rest, clean up" [brushing his teeth in the break room] "i did" - VERY tme eve

- im loving the camera work in this

- oh my god vincent d'onofrio is carl???

- yet again arts and crafts from found materials are demonized </3

- the cinnamontography :D

- i have decided that catherine and the other scientist lady are gal pals

- the water scene??? the baptism w the crane shots?? i go crazy i go stupid

- HORSE GLASS PANES!!!!!!!!!! giving damien hirst (neg) (fuck damien hirst)

- already fucking hard w this movie ngl

- vince vaughn is so bad at smoking cigarettes wtf why are so many of his butts half smoked

- what if we hooked carl and edward up like what would happen beyond Horrible time for edward. dyou think it'd throw adult/god carl off to have another boy in the house

- uh oh [do not remember when this was]

- i GASPED when the new collar came out

- vince vaughn has entered the chat

- as a bitch who Exclusively has lucid dreams i choose to believe i would be excellent at this

- vfx off da fucken CHAINS

- jlo dont chase the rabbit or whatever they say in pacific rim

- vulture :D

- this is one of if not the wildest movies ive ever seen

- cant believe thats vincent d'onofrio disemboweling vince vaughn in front of sexy jlo

- i want props from this

- they simply dont do costumes like this anymore

- or sets

- you guys are idiots obviously the weird shape line drawing thing goes with his back hooks come on man

- theyre girlfriends your honour

- said "whoa" out loud when adult carl's voice came outta child carl's mouth

- dude this movie fucks crazy hard tysm for showing it to me

- as someone who used to have nipple piercings i feel for carl

- me got boy, boy me got :(

- we love pieta imagery!!!

- i am forcing my gf to watch this w me tomorrow

- :(

- :(((

- SHE'S KEEPING HIS DOG i am emotional

- this movie rly said there is no escaping the inner child

i will have better, more succinct thoughts once the worms have had more time to digest and i have shared them w my gf but oh my god i loved it!!! so stylish, so unique, so?????!?!?! SO!!!!!!!! one of the movies of all time truly tysm for reccomending it to me

[txlesfromtheblxksun]

Flowers from A Dead Man

( Intro for my love )

What’s the reason for my writings?

All this rhyming makes my words sound exciting. Though the truth within don’t quite fit your liking. Nor does it fit mine, tho still I mine. Still I climb this mountain, dreaming of scaling this beautiful stallion. Saddled up for the ride, once I closed my eyes and took a leap of faith as I was placed, on the back of that horse. Rode it through the door, this unicorn’s horn pierced the sheer blackness of fear and spoke clear to me in every language there is, to be sure i could still comprehend. After that accident, that brought a mass of trauma to the brain. A heavy weight the child had to sustain, nights without sleep, were something more frequent than a routine. More like a state of being, more like a way of keeping the heart beating. Especially if opening your eyes, couldn’t be guaranteed. So fuck it, why sleep?

Why weep for you, while knowing what you’ve done to me. The words of a innocent victim, for the suspect, facing time in a penitentiary. Though who’s really caged in? Both hurt by their situations on this earth. I figured we were, both birthed in that mirror. The pain cracked that egg of arrogance and heir, went with the yolk that made us brake fast. His sentence, was similar to mine. I’m writing from within these cells, his rite in a cell. Uneventful tales, that don’t bring in any applauds. No one to say good job.

Those boys in blue, choose to issue the lord with the law. The word, to the god who’s words describe us all. Still we stall. Belly of a beast rumbling, so he falls. Upset by the things he loves best. The only thing known to be poisonous. Love, that sweet delicious dream that brings stability to my world of lopsidedness. All my pics taken with a slant, left eye can’t, quite, make it there yet. Wherever it is the other is looking, I be sure to slow down the attention. Span the object or subject from both sides, whether it be left and right, or positive and negative. I can’t tell you whether something is good or bad, when I have feelings for yall….

“ SO WHATS THE POINT IN LISTENING TO U, AT ALL? “

Beats me, I’ve been wondering the same thing since you called. What is there to converse about? What is there to share? What is there to teach? Damn sure don’t have anything to preach. I’ve just been describing what I think I see, something��..

Something rather strange to say the least, hoping that maybe if I looked at thee artistry I’ve become heavily invested like I stare at me, from the left retina, and the right. Maybe eye, can see the point in which we meet….

“ You know, the meaning? “

Sorry if these years, I’ve been seen as a meany as I continue to operate under these alias names. The only thing about me to ever change. Tho the spelling still describes the same guy, or gal. Depending on how you live, and what belief system you standby…

“ IN THIS GENERATION WE SAY A LOT OF OUTRAGEOUS SHIT! SUCH BOLD STATEMENTS IN ORDER TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE WE, IS SO DIFFERENT FROM THE ONES WE HATE! “

What a mistake mistook. Cut, and run it back from the top. We only got one shot, and I’m running out of aim. The director of this game, never came to lay down the true purpose in playing. So we just ran with the roll that was given to our souls by the camera, the sun holds on us. As we begin actin after our sin, has developed us in the black room. That gloomy space, in which our heartaches print upon our skin. So the rays make us blind to our blemishes, with makeup sex on set. Cherish and blush, with our star crush. Those who know nothing, about what’s goin on behind the curtain. Tho be certain, to show curtesy curtsying in front of the audience. That don’t know of the chatter, goin on in the front row.

Ironic, this platonic life of sound and sonic. Voices, that move the haunted halls housed vacant, in us all. Truly dark to see behind, or in front of something, that doesn’t wish to present its gif. The big pic, that’s sure to get a laugh, once you feel how heavy it is.

“ So, just you wait. One day imma getcha and the motion we’re moving in, will one day have no choice whether to loosen its grip or not. It’ll suddenly stop, death to a insanely diabolical plot. “

Though with such thoughts like these, I’m wondering, again. How is it that, I can know so much, about something that seems to great or, no way to be true. Though, somehow, still, resonates within U. As if I wrote the navy’s mission statement, that made it easy, to row a boat, through the earth that’s soaked in blood. Neck deep, in fulfilling the ocean’s waves with the blueprint, that’s a perfect depiction of Pangea. The world or, whatever it was b4 there was a leader.

“ B4 there was a need to pose, b4 there was a need to post. B4 the need to boast, like a god. B4 the knowledge of the staff and the rod. B4 the student, ever knew his heart. “

B4 I began to start this journey of journaling, there was a rose. Who too held up a boat, pedals to float in a direction that wasn’t self selected, but paved by our generation. Though beauty was a understatement, to describe a child of god. Only a flow-er, that reflected her stature and felt the strain on her brain that dimmed the stem, and caused a slight walk with a limp. Would’ve, maybe, or even surely could’ve possibly been, the one to chase down that aisle.

“ I’ll be waiting in this life, and, or, the next for, however much love or, whatever the fuck it is you got for me.

If you promise to bring the rosey cheeks, I’ll be sure to leave the poetry. For the pen won’t be needed, for I am already deep in…..

Your love branding me.

[harley-style]

mcyt brain rot for you all

this is both anysis and headcanon and au scenario, all blended together. you're welcome :D

----------

i have this headcanon,,,, cobbled together by some tumblr posts i read,,,, but some of them point out that wilbur is like, good at manipulating people as well to a point, right?

so i was thinking. what if his reach extended far beyond what anyone thought of? *what if wilbur's influence spread to dream?*

i know we've discussed this before (or sparrow analyzed it idk) but like. hear me out. this headcanon has to do with how wilbur wants to create a narrative. pit it against dream and his presumed original desires to create a safe happy place for his friends. wilbur's insistence that dream is the "tyrant". what if wilbur saw how dream was pointedly staying out of conflict, decided, "i dont like that," and began twisting the storyline and pulled dream's strings (pointedly off camera bc headcanons, babyyyy) so that dream would eventually fall into ruin, as the disgraced tyrant?

and dream...he KNOWS what wilbur's doing. to him specifically. and he's struggling so hard at the beginning, judging by his soft, passive demeanor when wilbur asks about the tnt.

i think, that somewhere along the line, dream lost sight of where his boundaries lied, and falls right into wilbur's plot pit and became The Villain. and he's like, fuck. I went and done it, oh no.

and....it worsens.

i had this whole scenario in my head that dream fully embraces the villain role, plays wilbur's game and completes the "narrative"...but is so fed up with wilbur and his stupid fucking ploys that he...bends the rules a little. changes shit up.

something...oh, a little like "lets speedrun my fall into villainy" bc it wouldn't be dream without the speedrun.

fast forward to prison. maybe if dream finally gets to resurrect wilbur. and wilbur is Not Pleased with how dream has decided to handle his narrative.

but its like. dream doesn't give two shits about wilbur's goddamn narrative anymore. he **played wilbur's game**. he's done with his role. he's given them peace, given them a happy end.

sure, he's given the rest plenty of trauma, but hey, it all turned out okay in the end, right? theyve got their happy ending. theyve BEATEN the big bad nightmare. his role is OVER.

but wilbur doesnt like it. doesnt like the lengths dream went to. it wasn't supposed to be like this. dream wasn't supposed to turn out this much of a *monster.*

and dream laughs. "will, wilby, wilbur," he croons madly, in his pretty little cell, preening like a cat. "i dont care," he hisses. "you fucking wanted this. you WANTED me to be this way. right? mr. revolutionary man? come on now, dont tell me you never expected this."

and wilbur tries to protest, but dream cuts him off.

"no. NO. dont' play your stupid littke games on me wilbur. you udnerstand? im DONE. im so sick of your bullshit, your countries your wars and your stupid fucking "story". I WANTED PEACE AND SAFETY. ALL i asked was "hey, don't be jerks, we're all one big community," and you didn't even have the DECENCY to just adhere to those rules, not even a little bit! you -- i let you in here because of TOMMY, you know that? the reason you even got to BE in this world was because tommy "vouched" for you. said you would be a great addition. and tommy-- i loved that kid back then, you know? he was bright and annoying and he made the server FUN. you took that brilliance, took that kid, and turned him against me, against ALL of us -- for what? independence? I HANDED YOU INDEPENDENCE AND YOU SPAT IT IN MY FACE LIKE IT WAS THE MOST VILE THING YOUVE EVER RECEIVED. i didnt even ENFORCE my rules, they were so loose literally EVERYONE broke them at some point.

but you? you had the audacity to call me a tyrant. to call me selfish, greedy, controlling. and then you declared war. the pet wars, the first disc wars weren't even close to the intensity you brewed during the revolution.

you had this little ideal in your head. and ill have to hand it to you, it was certainly impressive. but you didnt need to press it, to pressure it on the people of my server. you did anyway. you created this plot, this scheme to paint me as the villain, as the final boss. and you know what? FINE! if this is what it takes for them to be safe and happy, i'll be the villain.

but don't come in here expecting me to play that role again. i DID my part. i united them. my work is over.

but you, wilbur? heh. you get to deal with ALL the consequences of your war games. you'll be the one dealing with tommy's nightmares, tubbo's anger, everyone's hatred, fuck, you even get to deal with the egg!! isnt that nice? i was willing to deal with the egg, you know, it appeared before the whole election thing. but since you're here, you may as well take over. because you're SO great at directing them, you know? better than i ever could.

point is, wilbur, you don't get to use me as the tyrant, the final boss, the bad guy, and the villain anymore. when i said i would be putting the most powerful person in here, I wasn't fucking lying!"

"but tommy said you were going to put him in there!"

"you know, with the amount of times ive practically lied to that kid, im surprised he still believed me. i was never planning to put him in here. no one else would be put in here. hell, even techno and phil would just have gotten stuck here for about a week. i had guidelines, you know. i put them in a book somehwere, in one of my bases. no one was supposed to get unfair treatment. unfortunately i seemed to have pulled the short end of thr stick. that seems to be all that im doing these days."

"dream—"

"no. don't do that. don't pull me into another one of your plots wilbur. i don't want to hear it. you got your villain. your villain is gone, wilbur.

it's time to be the hero. :)"

basically my points here are like.

-wilbur made a narrative that dream didnt agree with

-this narrative painted dream in a negative villian light so dream basically said "yeah fuck that" and spedran his role

-headcanons galore i really do like the idea of dream creating that prison for himself to be locked in

-once wilbur is back he visits dream and explains his displeasure that dream went and did the things he did bc 1) hurt a lot of people personally and 2) did not adhere to the villain role wilbur specifically assigned to dream

-additional mentions: both wanted peace but in different forms. dream wanted peace for peace's sake but wilbur wanted peace after struggles. dream genuinely loved everyone on the server, but had to shed those attachments because to him, PERSONALLY, it would be a weakness towards his "villainous" role. his threatening of tubbo in front of tommy so tommy can "be the hero like spiderman and batman" shows that he knows exactly how empowering attachments are. lastly, dream only began manipulating people after the pogtopia arc. he mostly stayed the neutral party during it, and was just reacting with plans among plans during the lmanburg revolution.

-additionally, wilbur really wanted to stay dead, but dream said "haha no" and alived him again bc if he has to be the one to inflict trauma onto people then wilbur has to suffer leading the efforts to recovery.

hi @dreamsclock u keep giving me brainrot so im tossing this at u thank u goodbye i hope u dont mind the tag

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned. 

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why. 

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases. 

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one. 

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time. 

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly. 

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L  L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

[cartooness]

Mystery March Day 10: Mistake (Her Name?)

Alright my dudes: I know. Tis I, Cartooness, posting a ficlet of sorts. Which I never do lmao.

BUT!

I had ideas OWOWOWOWOWOW

Warning this portrays Mystery in a negative light so if that’s not ya jam, go ahead and skip.

**I START HERE, I’M USING THE READ MORE FOR A DIFFERENT TIME >:3**

SO @nemesis-is-my-middle-name and I were chatting and this is what came out of it XD

In my AU (that’s where my Lavender Grey character comes from lol), since I first made it I thought “omg what if Mystery was like. ‘Afraid’ or just weary of her because of how powerful she is” but now that The Future is out, I’m all “holy fucking shit what if Mystery is almost *jealous* of her because the gang doesn’t want him around her”. They say it’s for her sake (but it’s also for their sake) because they don’t want her to be scared.

He’s both [weary and jealous of Lavender], he’s all “okay. This girl comes LITERALLY out of nowhere and I’m glad they’re giving her a place to stay, she is a child. But this is a very powerful child, one that overwhelmingly outranks me in that field. Why aren’t they afraid of her? Why is it ME that they’re keeping her away from?” 

I guess he knows what he’s done in the past was shitty, but he doesn’t know why this random ass kid owns their heart now when he’s the one who was there first. Ya know, like an asshole.

I wanna say that he makes her cry because he just lets all the negativity loose and he’s caught mid rant by ARTHUR.

So. Mystery has basically been fending for himself for a little while, no big deal. Except he can't stop thinking about that damned girl. What has she done for them? How has she won them all over so easily? Only Lewis was the type to be soft for children, but Arthur? VIVI? Being parental figures? The world has gone mad.

He saw them time to time in that mansion of Lewis's, and they all looked so happy without him. Vivi hadn't seemed to be going on missions anymore, which was beyond shocking. Why not, that child is so powerful any threats would back off if they had a single brain cell.

Not to mention Shiromori was now on the girl's side; he spotted her occasionally checking up on her and putting small blooms in her hair, typically while she slept. It made the child look more innocent than she actually was in his eyes. He remembered when he was the one getting flower gifts and such when Shiromori was on his side. And with a protector like her, the child was practically untouchable.

Mystery flirted with the idea of that girl getting hurt and them coming back to him for help. But he didn't let himself ponder too long, that would be cruel. But he couldn't help but think about it.

What *would* happen if harm came her way?

Would they mourn her if such a fate could happen?

Would they come crying back to him?

Or would they blame him for a tragedy he didn't cause. They just *loved* to blame him.

...

He couldn't stop himself anymore. He trotted his way to that stupid little happy home and sniffed out what room belonged to the girl, the unmistakable scent of raw power and flowers filling the air. He peered into her window, in his dog form, and lo and behold she was there. He yanked the window open and sat on her bed, not caring about getting that sickeningly "cute" comforter dirty with his mud covered paws.

"Oh! It's you, Mystery. Can... I help you?" She was a bit puzzled as to what he needed her for, she thought he was fine being on his own.

Actually my dear, you can.

"Oh?-"

Get out of their lives. You don't deserve anything they've given you.

Her pupils shrunk, taken aback from his remark. "Did I do something wrong? I don't-"

Don't play stupid with me, girl. You are the reason I'm not allowed to be with them anymore, that I've been scorned to never return. You just barged your way into their lives, into MY life and took everything I've worked so hard for away. They're so worried about their 'little princess' that they don’t realize how damn DANGEROUS you are!

Don't they feel that power you possess? Aren't they afraid of you? 

She looked like he ripped her gut out, her eyes welling with tears, irises ever so slightly tinting blue with sadness.

Don't you DARE cry, he growled, you won't get a drop of pity out of me.

"Mystery”, she started, sniffling as she tried to speak, “please tell me-" 

I'M ALREADY TELLING YOU, YOU IDIOT! HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE? YOU RUINED EVERYTHING FOR ME AND YOU’RE ACTING LIKE YOU DESERVE THIS LOVING LITTLE FAMILY? WELL YOU DON'T. *I'M* THE ONE WHO PROTECTED THEM, *I'M* THE ONE WHO KEPT THEM OUT OF HARM'S WAY, THEN YOU SHOW UP AND RIP IT ALL AWAY!!

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS? WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE YOU'RE HARMLESS? NOBODY WITH POWERS LIKE YOURS STAY IDLE. WHERE DID YOU EVEN COME FROM?! I KNOW YOU'RE NOT HUMAN, SO DON'T TRY AND LIE TO ME. YOU THINK YOU'RE *SO* SPECIAL DON'T YOU?

She was sobbing now, eyes visibly baby blue and tears running down her face.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHUT UP WITH ALL THAT CRYING AND-

"Mystery if you don't leave right now I SWEAR I will chop every God forsaken tail of yours off."

Shit.

A-Arthur I-

"Why the fuck are you here? What made you think you were welcome?" His fatherly instinct had kicked in as soon he heard noise from his child’s room and ran over in an instant.

"Lav, baby, go to the bathroom” he started with a kiss to her nose, “so you can go wash your face. I have some business to finish", directing his gaze towards the intruder.

I'm here to open your eyes, Arthur. What has she accomplished while I was gone? What’s been going on with you... five? It seems her army grows every day.

"That is PATHETIC, Mystery."

What is? I'm just stating-

"I don't give a shit about your opinion, you broke into a child's room and you're YELLING AT HER because what, you're fucking....”

He pondered why Mystery was here spreading grief. They did tell him to piss off so that Lav wouldn’t be in danger, and honestly they didn’t need to be so stressed with him in the house all the time either. It’s not a good idea to welcome back a recently possessed kitsune into their home when they were all recovering from the trauma he inflicted. Old and new...

New... is he... 

“Are you,,, jealous of her?" he asked, tone on the verge of shock.

Good lord, this boy.

Arthur, I am here because I care and I worry about you, Lewis, and Vivi. And it concerns me that you've thrown all my help away for some MUTT that doesn't belong-

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Arthur shouted, trembling and trying not to scream so he wouldn’t scare Lav a few doors down. 

I will NOT, I'm not done yet-

"YES YOU FUCKING ARE.” 

The look of pain and anger was so clear on his face, and Mystery shut his mouth instantly.

"YOU *ARE* DONE BECAUSE YOU JUST RUINED THE VERY MINISCULE CHANCE WE WERE GOING TO GIVE YOU TO PROPERLY MEET HER. YOU’VE MADE ONE TOO MANY MISTAKES."

His voice was cracking, he wasn’t the type to do all... this. Just how much had this girl influenced them?

Arthur, please-

As if on cue, Lavender returned from the bathroom. "Mr. Arthur, am I in trouble?” She asked, big brown eyes looking up at him. “Mystery kept telling me that I did something wrong by being here and it didn't make sense to me."

"What exactly did he tell you, love?" he asked, eyebrows slightly softening just for her.

Oh FUCK. ((A/N: YEAH U DONE FUCKED UP YOU ASS))

She looked almost scared to answer; she was aware the kitsune could be merciless, and didn’t want to be attacked in the mansion Lewis had worked so hard on. Mystery was so angry at her and she didn’t understand why. 

"Well... he told me that I ruined his life because I guess I took his place or something. He said I'm dangerous because I'm more powerful than him, and.. he said mean things about me in general.”

Arthur’s metal hand flew up, ready to attack. 

“Mr. Arthur! W-what are you doing?-"

And Arthur hit Mystery as hard as he could.

There was an excruciating scream of pain, one that caused Lewis and Vivi to abandon the groceries they were bringing in to see all the commotion.

ARTHUR, YOU BASTARD! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!

"YOU MADE MY CHILD CRY BECAUSE YOU HAD YOUR PETTY FEELINGS HURT? FOR SOMETHING SHE NEVER DID? YOU HAD THE GOD DAMN *BALLS* TO BREAK IN, YELL INSULTS AT A KID, MAKE HER CRY, AND THINK THAT YOU WERE IN THE RIGHT?"

Lewis rushed over, trying to calm his boyfriend down. "Arthur, mi amor, what- MYSTERY?! How did HE get here?!”

S h i t.

Vivi felt her heart drop to her feet at the mention of her ‘dog’s’ name. "WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? I THOUGHT WE KICKED HIM OUT!" she exclaimed, her stomach filling with dread.

Lewis, Vivi, if you just let me EXPLAIN-

Arthur almost made a hole in the wall with the pound of his fist. "So this little FUCKER broke into Lav's room to yell at her because she lives with us and he wasn't invited. I come over to see who's in her room yelling at her, and she's crying uncontrollably while he keeps going at her, spewing a bunch of BULLSHIT, and he thinks he can explain himself and why he's in the right."

"....what?" said Lewis and Vivi, shocked by Mystery's audacity.

Lav started to cry again, thinking she would be punished for this, and Lewis quickly pulled her into his embrace. "Mi florecita preciosa, you did nothing wrong-"

REALLY LEWIS? Mystery growled, feeling patronized, especially as Lewis tightened his grip. SHE'S NOT A BABY-

"Shut your snout right now", snapped Vivi. "Get the fuck out of our house and you BETTER not come back. You have ONE chance to apologize to her and that's it."

Can I come back if I do?

"YOU DON'T DESERVE TO COME BACK" growled Arthur, his flesh hand placed gently on Lav's head and his metal one pointing at Mystery, Lewis glaring so hard it could kill.

Nobody was on his side, and the look on the girl’s face almost made him feel bad. 

Almost.

Very well then. I'll be on my way and hope that your ignorance won’t become your downfall.

"Hey Mystery, one more thing", Lewis started. "If you ever come back with bad intentions, we will kill you ourselves. I swear on anything and everything that you will not come here with a DROP of malice towards her. Do I make myself clear? And don’t you dare try and act smart, we are giving you a LOT of mercy when you don't deserve it."

...then I bid farewell. What is her name?

"My name is Lavender Grey."

Thank you. Goodbye, Miss Lavender Grey.

[goldengoddess]

Hey!! If they’re still open, may I request a Grishaverse ship? I’m a 5’4” straight girl who is very insecure about my acne scars, stretch marks, and my big tummy. I talk with my hands, play with my fingers and tend to move while standing. I have a hard time explaining my thoughts and opinions and I have a hard time comforting people, but I do try my best! I’m pretty shy, but friendly when it comes to meeting new people, but I’m somewhat loud and bubbly when I know someone well. I’m a pretty open minded person, have a memory of a goldfish and two brain cells. I love to draw, read fantasy novels and manga, anime and chocolate. I don’t really like going out in nature-centered areas because I’m afraid of and hate bugs (if that makes any sense). I don’t like playing sports and I’m also afraid of the dark and ocean. I don’t like people that are closed minded and those who get immediately get mad with me without taking the time to explain what I did wrong. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m a very clueless person and tend to say things without meaning to hurt someone or making someone uncomfortable. I need people to tell me what I did wrong to understand what I did or else it’ll take me a while to figure it out myself.

hi! u sound lovley! here's your ship

i ship you with jesper fahey <3

jesper is a total sweetheart with you. he won't tolerate any negative self talk. he kisses every part of yourself that you don't like. and turns everything that's sad or uncomfortable into a joke, to make it easier to talk about. jesper is just as fidgety with his hands so he's developed the habit of playing with your hands instead, that way the both of you having something to do while you stand around. reminds you of anything you may or may not have forgotten. making you checklists and such just so you never leave the house with something you might need because of your memory. teases you about your fear of bugs, pretending to see one in your room just to see your reaction. but after laughing he'll always pull you into his chest and apologize profusely. he always lights a candle right before bed so you don't have to sleep in the dark. overall he's just the best boyfriend, never makes you feel bad about your feelings or the way that you are. wants you happy and healthy more than literally anything.

[whylie]

BYE GUYS 🏃‍♂️💨 HI LADIES 👋😫 MWWWAHH 💋💋

hello  <3 i’m cc, twenty1 from cst + my pronouns are she / her! i’m super super excited for this i actually have no thoughts ever and i can’t spell ever, either, but i’m enthusiastic about nari and about varieta and i am excited 2 be here. alright. love u guys. 

MUSE H - ( kim yerim, cis woman, she/her ) nari chae has lived in naples, italy for eleven months. they’re currently twenty two years old and a housekeeper for vista laterale bnb. people tend to associate them with the ache of heartbreak without really knowing what it is, floating face down in the deep end of the pool to see who’d care, yellow fingernails on particularly sticky fingers + a perfect image to present to the world because you don’t even know who you are anymore.

    ﹟ ⠀  influences﹕

carl  gallagher,  shameless.

karen  smith,  mean  girls.

margot,  legally  blonde.

haley  marshall,  modern  family.

   ﹟ ⠀  basic  stats﹕

birth  name:  chae  nari

nickname(s)  /  alias(es):  nana  +  ri  /  lee

preferred  name:  nari

age  +  dob:  twenty  two  +  aug,  third

hometown:  undetermined,  once  said  manhattan  once  said  chicago?

occupation:  housekeeper  +  pickpocket  +  full  time  dumb  bitch

ethnicity:  korean

nationality:  american

gender:  cis  woman

pronouns:  she  +  her

orientation:  demi  sexual  +  demi  romantic

faceclaim:  kim  yerim

﹟ ⠀  intraperson﹕

(  +  )  positives:  charismatic,  perceptive,  intrepid,

(  -  )  negatives:  thoughtless,  impetuous,  equivocal,

labels:  the  icarian,  the  bubble  brain,

natal  chart:  leo  sun,  libra  moon,  libra  rising

moral  alignment:  chaotic  neutral

hogwarts  house:  ravenclaw  (  i  know...  )

languages  spoken:  english  +  korean  +  italian  +  conversational  french  but  in  a  bad  way

exterior:  just...  clueless  in  the  way  that  you  can  tell  that  she’s  experiencing  thoughts  but  refuses  to  acknowledge  them.  always  sort  of  thinking  of  the  most  reckless  thing  to  do  and/or  the  most  mundane,  first  grade-esque  question  in  the  world.  can  come  off  as  both  superficial  and  egoistic,  because  she  is  –  just  doesn’t  care  enough  about  people  other  than  herself.  allows  herself  to  be  a  bimbo  because  old  men  love  it  and  she’s  excited  to  marry  rich  (  but  also  will  never  give  a  man  the  time  of  day  ).

interior:  theoretically,  brainy,  but  in  practice?  technically  yes  because  there’s  a  plan  for  everything,  but  these  days  kind  of  just  stares  off  into  space  like  she’s  a  widow  (  because  as  far  as  she’s  concerned,  she  is  ).  kind  of  conniving  because  there’s  a  reason  she  does  everything,  but  nobody  at  the  bnb  is  worth  conning  so  she  just  barely  does  her  job  and  watches  bad  things  happen  at  the  bnb  without  helping  out  <3

   ﹟ ⠀  dossier﹕  trigger  warnings

the  circumstances  that  nari  is  born  into  is  :/  unfortunate.  she  is  the  youngest  of  five  kids  and  kind  of  just  hangs  around  while  her  family  remains  dirt  poor  and  her  parents  try  (  in  theory  )  to  give  their  children  good  lives.  but,  while  nari’s  siblings  are  working  hard  and  getting  themselves  on  the  right  path,  she’s  busy  sitting  in  the  kiddie  pool  at  the  local  park  with  pink  sunglasses  on,  dreaming  of  a  lazy  life  because  –  she’s  lazy.  her  eldest  sister  dreams  of  becoming  a  politician,  her  brothers  want  to  become  businessmen  and  nari  wants  to  be  a  trophy  wife  ...  so.

anyway,  her  parents  sort  of  turn  a  blind  eye  the  first  time  she  brings  a  wallet  home  and  says  “oopsies!”,  meaning  they  don’t  outright  discipline  her  for  being  a  thief.  too  bad,  so  sad  –  she  gets  caught  once  when  she’s  younger  and  that’s  when  she  learns  that  her  crying  can  get  her  out  of  anything.  not  only  is  she  a  notoriously  beautiful  crier,  she  can  also  be  super  loud  and  obnoxious  about  it  and  a  screaming  nari  just  :/  isn’t  the  way  to  go,  so  she  learns  all  the  skills  she  needs  to  learn  when  she’s  growing  up.

but,  she  gets  caught  again  when  she’s  fourteen  and  her  parents  suddenly  grow  a  conscience  and  send  her  to  live  with  her  scatter-brained  aunt.  aunt  sissy  isn’t  even  related  to  either  of  her  parents,  but  she’s  a  family  friend  of  a  family  friend  and  somehow  nari  ends  up  in  a  stupid  rv  with  a  great  dane  and  a  woman  older  than  both  of  her  parents.  her  outlook  on  life  doesn’t  really  change,  since  from  ages  fourteen  to  sixteen,  she  watches  aunt  sissy  finesse  her  way  into  fancy  dinners  and  onto  yachts.  

anyway,  when  nari  runs  away  at  sixteen,  she  spends  an  entire  year  with  a  rich  family  in  the  hamptons  because  she  pretends  to  be  a  stranded  heiress  from  south  korea  :/  don’t  know  how  it  worked  honestly,  but  it  did  and  she’s  better  for  it.  she  leaves  at  seventeen  to  live  in  nyc,  somehow  wrangles  her  way  into  a  terrible  apartment  when  she’s  eighteen  after  spending  a  year  sofa  surfing.  started  a  job  as  a  housekeeper  in  a  high  end  hotel  and  stayed  there  for  ...  a  bit.

definitely  was  a  little  bit  of  a  rat  in  nyc,  pickpocketing  and  stealing  for  fun  and  for  necessity.  when  she  turned  twenty  one,  was  promoted  to  a  concierge  which  she  only  really  worked  for  a  couple  of  months  (  literally  one  month  tbh  )  before  she  surprised  her  s/o  with  a  trip  to  italy  because  <3  romance  <3  and  then  got  to  italy  and  was  like  “we  should  break  up”  so.

now  she’s  here,  cried  her  way  into  the  bnb  and  into  a  job,  sorry  to  nico  n  nolan  because  she’s  a  nightmare.  she’s  still  flat  broke  but  pretends  like  she  isn’t  out  of  spite  to  muse  i  and  refuses  to  leave  because  nari’s  never  lost  a  break  up  and  she’s  just  too  sexy  to  lose  now  (  her  words,  not  mine  )

  ﹟ ⠀  headcanons﹕

so,  here’s  the  thing:  nari  has  always  been  poor.  her  parents  aren’t  bad  people,  they’re  just  unfortunate  and  all  nari  could  do  as  a  child  was  learn  how  to  pickpocket  (  among  other  things  ).  unfortunately  for  the  entire  world,  nari  is  really,  really  good  at  it.  she’s  good  at  pickpocketing  and  stealing  and  lying  and  crying  on  cue;  she’s  just  all  too  good  at  playing  the  damsel  in  distress  to  lie  and  cheat  her  way  through  life  –  and  since  no  charge  has  ever  really,  well,  stuck,  she  hasn’t  stopped.

genuinely,  actually  really  smart  but  has  never  actually  used  her  brain  cell  for  anything  other  than  crime  –  because,  why  bother?  bottom  of  the  barrel,  she  really  never  thought  that  she  had  a  chance  at  getting  into  a  good  school  anyway  without  burying  herself  in  debt,  so  has  spent  her  life  just  trying  to  build  an  underground  syndicate  while  being  way  too  self  centered  to  ever  have  anything  kick  off;  she’s  literally  so,  so,  stupid  despite  having  a  photographic  memory  and  a  surprisingly  high  iq.  would  rather  be  a  dumb  hot  girl  than  a  smart  hot  girl  for  some  reason?

doesn’t  really  have  anything  to  go  back  to  outside  of  italy,  honestly.  had  an  okay-ish  life  in  new  york  city,  but  the  bills  would  barely  be  paid  and  there’s  only  so  much  that  pickpocketing  +  stealing  can  do  for  a  girl.  she  did  used  to  have  a  job  as  a  concierge  at  a  high  class  hotel,  but  rich  people  treat  poor  people  terribly  and  there  were  rumors  that  she  had  been  stealing  from  guests;  which,  how  scandalous,  she  would  absolutely  never!  “i  can’t  even  get  the  keys  to  work  on  the  first  try?”

   ﹟ ⠀  wanted  connections﹕

everything  plus  angst  and  fluff  and  crack  and  spiderman  memes  <3

  ﹟ ⠀ conclusion﹕

i  will  be  reaching  out  to  plot  soon  just  give  me  a  second  to  find  my  brain.

[tarithenurse]

Agent of Hope - 19

Your world falls into ruin together with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcements Logistics Division when you find out that your boyfriend isn’t one of the good guys. Pairing: Brock Rumlow x fem!reader, Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader Contents: Hmmm...weapons, fluff, dealing with trauma, mention of rape, masturbation, violent reaction, difficult choices, more fluff, and kissing. A/N: Thanks to all of you who like and especially reblog <3 On a second note: been looking for houses (need to move out of my parents’ place with my husband bc omfc).  Also that GIF just is epic.

19 - An offer you can’t refuse

…   Romanoff   …

The tinny jingle from the Goldfish commercials doesn’t cause hesitation to the hands moving rapidly to find and connect the right parts needed in the task of assembling three different guns. Only when the last weapon is locked (and loaded) does Natasha spin the cell phone on the table with a frown. Unknown caller, but the small dots in the corner indicate that Jarvis is tracking down the number already and will have an answer in three…two…one…ugh! Langley.

“Afternoon.” The tone is flat enough to show the lack of enthusiasm without being downright rude. “What more does Langley want post-hearings?”

She can almost hear the crooked smile. “Hrph…I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, miss Romanova.” The twist to the last name sends shivers down the former Russian’s spine but the familiar voice continues. “I’m agent Ross…we met during the hearings…?”

The silence is allowed to reign in an attempt to get the man to talk, maybe say too much. Meanwhile, Natasha brings the Glock 26 behind the back and starts to dismantle it, counting the seconds it takes before every piece of metal is spread out on the couch cushion behind her, careful not to lose the pins or the little spring for the trigger.

“Miss uhm…miss Romanova? You there?”

Nervous. Not enough. “…yeah.”

“Good! Good. Yes…” Some paper rustles through the line. “Right…I know the hearings’ve been long and prob’ly bothersome,” agent Ross hesitates to allow for some comment but gets none, “s’I can completely understand and respect if y’aren’t interested, however…I believe that you may ‘ave information that could be of benefit to u- to the Agency, I mean, in terms of filling some gaps. Erm I think…what I’m trying to say’s would it be possible for you to – off record – have a look at our older intel?”

Wait…waaiit…one more second. An intake of breath is Natasha’s cue. “You want me to shed light on old cases that’ve gone sideways?”

“Well –“

“You think either SHIELD, Hydra, or maybe my former handlers could’ve botched it for you guys?” By now the short agent’s sputtering in embarrassment, maybe hoping for the weak protests to soothe any slights the insinuation could have caused. “Send me a top ten and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Really?!”

Yeah, why would I? Simply put, Natasha hates being out of the loop, and the spy in her is aching for the chance of (legally) getting hold of CIA intel. More than that, though, she’s learned the hard way how precious the currency known as “favours” are. Owe someone something? They’ll have a hook in you forever. Someone owes you? It can be the difference between life and death. An IOU from a CIA agent…that could be handy.

“No promises I can actually tell you more than y’know already.”

Movement behind her makes the Avenger turn her head, a smile already curving her lips at the presence of [Y/N] who eyes the weapons (and parts) cautiously.

“Oh, no! That’s okay, no worries!” An idiot might refuse the tentative offer and Ross is far from that. “I’ll compile the files and get them to…you…uhm…”

“I’ll text you an address.” A slightly oil-greased finger hovers over the phone already. “Bye, agent Everett Ross.”

…   Rumlow   …

The fly circles the room a few times before finally settling on the person in the corner, climbing across brown-stained jeans in short sprints before reaching the lax hand and taking off again. Next time the insect lands it’s by the dried spatter on the wall where the bullet had made a small crater when it exited the skull of…who was that? A glance at the pens and the old-fashioned glasses makes Brock guess at some dusty field of expertise like history or literature. Whatever it had been, the man had decided it was better to risk it all and go looking for Hydra on nothing but a rumour.

“Don’t mind zat,” Strucker dismisses the sight easily, “ze interesting zing is zis.” Careful not to touch, he points at the darkened veins and (with the help of a metal rod) the unnaturally blue eyes. “Ze experiment was quite a success, my friend. We are able to channel ze power of ze weapon into humans.”

“They all end up like this so far?” The eyelid hasn’t lowered again, so the endless glow of space is staring blindly at Brock no matter where he moves. “A bullet in the brain? Why did he get that?”

Chuckling softly, Strucker wipes the little stick in a handkerchief which he folds before depositing both in a pocket. “Zis man gained immense strengz but lacked control.” Oh. “Perhaps zere is a stronger connection between the state of mind and ze results zan we anticipated. We are now looking for actual volunteers.”

…

Fuck. However Loki did it remains a mystery still, but Brock won’t give up the hope that it will be possible to figure out how to control another person with the staff. Damnit, he’d seen the bit of salvaged footage and read the debriefs portraying the events when the Asgardian came to Earth and brainwashed top agents in no time.

The results of Strucker’s and his team’s work is vital both for the promotion of Hydra’s scheme…and to get anything useful from [Y/N] when she will get back again. I’ll be damned if it kills her. Brock’s all too aware that his craving for the ex-girlfriend wouldn’t be condoned if anyone knew – to be fair, he doesn’t quite like it himself because it makes him feel like he isn’t in control of his own damn mind. Every dream is either about missions and kills, sending adrenalin pumping through his veins, or they feature every detail of [Y/N].

The little smile when she was lost in thought. Her spine curving to jut the breasts upwards, skin subtle under Brock’s hands. Remembering the teasing hitches in her breath on a sunny morning, light filtering through the windows to catch in her hair as they made their bed creak together a lifetime ago.

“Godfuckingdamnit!”

Already, an erection is pressing painfully hard against tac-pants and Brock shoves a fist down to reposition the stubborn cock only for a new memory to appear the moment his fingers close around the shaft. Shea-butter mixed with sweat on pebbled nipples…perfect taste. There’s not much room to move the hand, but at least the pants are easily opened allowing for longer strokes.

The speed accelerates with each recollection, fist tightening and twisting while the echoes of [Y/N]’s moans are replaced by cries tearing from her throat when he took her with force. Fuck, it was so good, the man admits to himself, the struggle…oh yeah…the…the control. Breathing laboured, Brock has to lean against the wall, unable to stagger the last few steps over to his cot. She’d begged and pleaded, and he had been the one to grant her peace…or not.

He grunts as he comes. White stickiness spurting between his fingers, adding to the blurry haze from the inability to focus on anything else than the rush thrumming through the veins. It’ll be a short reprieve before the need returns like an endless hunger that nothing can sate. One thing can. But [Y/N] isn’t here, she’s tugged away somewhere with the fucking Avengers and that makes it all a million times worse because to think that Romanoff or maybe even Steve get to be close to her. Get to touch her, smell her.

It stings pleasantly when the hand connects with the drywalling and the structure behind it, thin strings of cum hanging from the torn plaster. At least that clears Brock’s mind a bit.

…   Reader   …

Lying awake all night, it’s almost a relief to sense the grey dimness take over the room and allow the outlines of furniture to stand out – not even Natasha’s steady breathing has been able to calm your mind after the hours of training spent to tire out your body at least. Why this time?! You’ve spent more than enough nights trying to escape nightmarish memories and negative thoughts but this…this issue is different and you’re happy with the decision you’ve made. I should just tell her.

It’s almost possible to make out the contours of Tasha against the white pillow, darker hair spreading like a halo of smoke. You know she sleeps lightly. Brushing your lips featherlight across her cheek, and she already turns to find your mouth with her own. Sweet and lazy kisses, a single tug to your bottom lip. Morning breath is a non-issue when she invites you into a bubble of gentle safety. Home.

“Morning, babe.” Her fingers tease the shortest hairs in your neck. “You’ve managed to sleep at all?”

There’s no reason to answer, just plant a peck on her nose. “I’ve made up my mind,” you offer as consolation, “and I hope you’ll understand why it’s important to me.”

The love never disappears from the touch while she sits up against the headboard. If it was light enough, you think you might see cautious interest mingled with concern in her eyes because Tasha isn’t as good as hiding it as she thinks she is. That’s a secret though.

“Okay…” She drags you onto her lap, straddling her so the strong arms can wrap around your waist. “Is it about the call from Ross?”

The scent of shampoo still clings to her hair as you bury your face in it, happy to talk into the red mess. “Yes, but mainly it’s about wanting to do what I can.”

Of course your reasoning isn’t perfect, but Natasha doesn’t interrupt even once as you explain how you want to do your part to support the hearings and the new request from the CIA by giving a testimony. Gifted or not, at least there’s information about Brock that can be of use and it seems someone else than just the Avengers are trying to clean things up…hopefully that includes tracking down the people that can be identified to Hydra through the data dumped on the net the day SHIELD fell. You promise to keep the ability secret to anyone outside of Natasha and her friends...admitting that you’ll have to be careful although you’ve got the most convincing cover to any strange phrasing “thanks” to what Brock and his people have put you through while in their hands.

The colours have returned to the world by the time you finish explaining. Dusty lavender heightens the rosy cheeks of the woman looking at you with a serious expression that makes your stomach knot. I have to do this. It’ll be hard as fuck, but it feels right. Feels important.

“I’ll let him know,” Tasha whispers, pulling you in for a tight embrace, “and I’ll be with you all the time.”

[abdulwahabalam]

Blog Interview

The Long Awaited Abdul Wahab Interview is Here

https://propakistani.pk/2017/11/10/long-awaited-abdul-wahab-interview/

If you are a regular ProPakistani reader, you must know about Abdul Wahab. A constant presence in our comments section, he has become a cult figure and a source of great amusement.

We asked you to chip in with your questions a while back and today, we are finally publishing the full interview with Abdul Wahab for your reading pleasure. We have kept editing to a minimum to let Wahab’s unique personality shine through the text.

Onwards to the readers’ questions and Abdul Wahab’s answers.

When did you start following ProPakistani?

Exactly i don’t know but I remembered that I am following ProPk since 1 year ago.

I have to ask from Abdul Wahab. What’s your age?

It’s not about age, it’s about 26 Years of my Life (My DOB is 26-SEP-1991) on 17th Rabi O Awal 1412 Hijri on Thursday Morning.

Stars Kabhi Khabaar He Paida Hote hai :)

Tell us about your academic qualifications?

I am studying MA (Economics) Final (Pata Nahi Nursery Se Final Tak Ka Safar Main Ne Kis Tarha Suffer Kiya)

What inspires you to read and post on ProPakistani?

Gossip, Entertainment & a Lot of Knowledge.

Wo alag baat hai ye saare articles main pehly he KAHI aur pharh chuka hota hou.

And wo alag baat hai K main bina parhe he comments karta deta ho heading main kuch baaten samajh ati hai.

What are your hobbies and what do you do for a living? Are you a student?

My Hobby is Surfing, Browsing, Working, Cleaning My Home, Watching Horror Movie, Shows, Carton, Movies, Outing, Long Driving & Don’t Forget Sleeping.

I take oxygen for Living & yes I am Student, Professional, Bachelor (means Single).

What do you do in your free time and when ProPakistani doesn’t publish (on weekends)?

I am totally considering on my job only during free time.

Abdul Wahab, I have seen you ignoring hateful comments or seeing the funny side of it. What many people would like to know is that how do you manage to take all those negative trolls so bravely and remain positive all the time?

Dil Bara Hona Chahyeh & My Dadi Said to me “Jo Bura Kehte hai Asal Main Wahi Bure Hote hai Don’t take seriously.”

I am smiling on every time & don’t take seriously my haters.

Its my haters who are gonna make me famous (So Thank U for Hating Me & for the Bad Replies on my funny Comments).

Do you think that ProPakistani articles are going to make a change in Pakistan? Where do you see your comments in this regard? Do you see your commenting make a difference?

Yes ProPk & me want change in Pakistan. We demand a Better Pakistan as Iqbal Sahab dreamed & as our Quaid wanted.

Hi Wahab. Brother you are one of the great persons here and the best at the comments. My Question is why mostly your comments are judgmental, declarative or biased? Why not make them based on your experiences or arguments-based?

Express the Experience is on my first priority, sometime when i stuck due to policies and department politics then ” Sunata Ho Phir Bohat ”

Wahab bhai, what are your future plans?? Any other forums you plan to target on?

My First Future plan to get marry after that (my thinking will start to end only on my Wife).

Anyway Mr. Aamir Atta is my ideal Tech person. I want to become like this man since I got a lot of info here from ProPk.

What do you think about the IT sector in Pakistan and its future ? Do you think our low Internet Penetration is hindering our IT sector from booming ?

We need highly qualified and experience person in IT sectors specially in PTA chairman who have a skill to understand the lack of IT Sectors Problem.

Enhance the PTCL Network, Internet Speed, 3G 4G Covered Areas, Polices & Benefits to Export on IT Sector, Low Taxes rate of IT Product Import. Interest free loan etc.

No doubt you are quite Popular in a wide reader’s network (ProPakistani), how does it feel?

Well, feeling never express in words : I can feel only Aaj lagta hai main hawaon mein hoon, Aaj itni khushi mili hai,

Have you ever thought of writing an article for ProPakistani? If yes what topic you would have chosen?

Yes i am thinking on daily basis to write a article to ProPk.

My topics would be  #How to Implement a Policies in Pakistan, #Education Priority, #Save Tree, #Islamic # Current Affairs, #Politics & My Favorite “Bacho Ki Shaadi Jaldi Karni Chahyeh ”

What interests you more, Technology or Politics?

Of course Marriage But Officially i Consider on the Tech Q K Pakistan K Politics Main Kuch Nahi Rakha Ye Sub Mill K HUM Ko Mamu Bana Rahy hai.

Please tell us about your prospective about Pakistan? Do you see you have a better future here or you will become a part of brain drain?

Pakistan have a great talent, natural resources & here is great future, But some politician have wasted these things.

We have to be saved these things to making a bright future of Pakistan for our child & family.

If you are ever considered as the Prime Minister or President of Pakistan, what three steps would you take first?

Less Inflation, Pure Water Purified Plant, Arrange Energy Crisis.

How can he be always online to comment?

I am available in ProPk only 10AM TO 7PM (My Office Time Only).

I am Not Using ProPk At Home Or outside Working Areas.

If you could make a suggestion on improving ProPakistani, what would it be?

ProPk Is best it’s my first website to comments on there : I’ve some queries for ProPk :

We have many apps & software to convert ENGLISH to URDU (ProPk) Used it to Share Article in One Page into Two Languages to Share anyone.

ProPk Must have Windows, Andriod, & IOS Apps & Update Daily.

ProPk add searching option contains format to search out anything in ProPk Pages

ProPk showing yearly profit & lose statement

ProPk arrange camping to participate any training with the help of Organization

ProPk arrange online computer course in both or URDU languages to learn easily

ProPk make apps for (Games, Books, Education,Songs Movie Etc)

PorPk Focus on Current Affair TECH News

ProPk Advise us regarding addmission, test, result, exam, etc for each university & Faculty

ProPk launch compliant cell (Some Member have issue)

ProPk have proff reading problem make sure each and everything before posting

ProPk conduct a surcvey report monthly basis (Which article best, what you want, suggest, comments, voting etc)

ProPk arrange MEMBER ot the Month (for Best Comments, Most Comments Etc)

ProPk add website vising counting on daily basis

ProPK notification issue please resolve it

Add twitter notification to get any one who are following on you in Twitter

What if you are made Prime Minister of Pakistan; any to do list?

I Want to do something. I have a lot of ideas on to how to grow income & how to save money & how to spend money in Pakistan & on the Pakistani People:

Focus to open Tax Free Manufacturing Plant (Growth Our Local Industry)

Focus to open Water Purification Plant at KARACHI SEA for Pure Drink & Supply to Whole Pakistan

Focus on KALA BAGH DAM & Another PAK DAM in PAKISTAN

Focus on Wind Turbine to produce electricity

Focus to open GAS & Oil Plant to avoid importing

Change Complete High Level Management & Staff of PIA, Post Office, Steel Mill, Government Department, Custom, Associations, Police, Rangers, Army Etc

Completely bio metric system from Child Birth to Death & In All Stage (Admission, Job, Purchasing, Buying, GSM, Mobile, Traveling Etc)

All Social Websites & Apps linked with Bio Metric system. Per CNIC only One ID can be registered in all social sites to secure internet security & safety.

Focus to open Registered Free Hospitals, School, Collage, University, Shop, Industries, Bank, Etc (On Government Stage)

Completely Free Education From Nursery to Under Graduation with Books, Notes Etc (& Scholarship for onward education)

Road, Bridge, Under Pass, Repair & New to be prepared

Only Government Public Buses are allowed on road (All Private should be banned). Rate 5 Rupee Per Stop (Student Free) 06AM TO 06PM

In Pakistan, Saturday, Sunday should be considered as Leave for Industry, Banks, Education, Etc (Except Hospital)

Working Timing for all sectors :  07 AM TO 3PM (One Shift 8 Hours) Each Industry must be working on 8 Huors Shift ( No More Overtime)

Working Benefits : Annual Leaves, Bonus, Gratuity, Provident Fund, Medical, Loan (Interest Free) Etc

All Policies, Rules, Regulation & Law are same in Pakistan & applicable in all areas of Pakistan including all provinces & department

Register All Restaurant, Hotels, Food Shop for Pure Quality

Focus to open Pakistan Foods Authority

No More SASTA Bike & Car E.g Bike Min PKR 70,000 & Car E.g 1,000,000 Starting Price Without Taxes

Heavy Taxes on Using, Bike, Car, Smart Phone,(Any Other Like this) & Import (Those Product already made in PAK) (To Save the environment)

Same Price of All Product in Pakistan e.g. Fuel, Foods, Veg, Fruits, Equipment., Etc

Monthly Rent on Using Social Apps

All Women Should be wear Scarf, in all premises of Pakistan.

Each Government, Private Department Office, Industry should have valid Uniforms.

No Morning Show, No Ramadan Show, No Game Show, No Music Show, No Women on Commercials allowed in Pakistan

First Priority on ISLAM then Pakistan

All MNA MPA, Mayor, PM, CM, DIG, SP SHO, etc should be Graduates & Master. They must be Beard on Face & Five Time Namazi & Know the Baisc Rules of ISLAM

No Parci, Sifarish, Relation Ship to be entertain in Pakistan Only Merit & Experience are allowed

All Online Shopping processes must be registered

SAZA On Public Places

Focus to Plant Trees. Strict Rules for Plant Tree on Each Home Office Areas for All Pakistanis

Banned complete Import Indian Items, Iran Afghanistan , Sham. Israil Etc Countries

Basic Salary of Employee PKR 20,000 (8 Hours Only)

Complete Salary to be giving through Bank Accounts ONLY No More taking Cash Allowed to AnyOne

Focus to Moderate Highways & Tourism Areas

All Rules & Regulation to be changed according to current affairs (After Public Verification)

NAB have authorized to check all people money & transaction etc

All Government Vacancy, Hiring, Appointment Etc to be launch under One Department

Low Taxes in all sectors

9PM is last timing for shutdown complete markets (Medical Facility will be available on 24Hours)

Marriage are allowed only in Marriage LAWN, No More Street, Ground Ceremony : Time Closed 11PM Otherwise Jail

Focus to open & support IT Sectors to compare international markets using apps, software etc.

Allow PayPal, & Permission to Branch less Banking to remit internationally with limits.

Focus to Quick Problem Resolving.

Bearing of all types of Expense by Pakistan Bait ul Maal for child births

Jobless person are allowed to get the cash from any bank with thumb impression PKR : 5000 to survive life no More Beggars until unless the getting job.

Focus to Enhance the network of AmanTech Faculty in Pakistan.

Salary taxes starting on 1 Lac

All Department using ERP , MRP Etc Software

Focus to Online with Quality, Paper Less Working

Searching Bridal & Groom & Support Poor People for Marriage

Focus to open Government Compliant Cell to launch complaint against, Any Government, Private Department, Any Education , Any Foods, Any Person with Proff:

Only these taxes would be eligible in Pakistan, Custom Duty (1% to 35%), Sales Tax (5% to 15%) Income Tax (1% to 20%) Regular Duty (10% to 100%) Anti Dumping Duty (15% 55%) Depends the product and category

Fixed Rates for Utilities Bill e.g

Teacher License, Coaching License Etc for Quality of Education

At the Time of Azaan, All types of PTCL, Internet, Mobile, Social Apps, TV Cable Etc is stopped until the completion on Namaz (Five Times)

Government Arrange PAKISTAN TALENT HUNT Program on Live on Media to showing talent, skill of Each Pakistani.

Poor Family Loan Services without interest

Emergency ATM Loan Service 500 (In Case of CashLess Pockets) One Time Transaction on Each Month (Only For Account Holder Who have Good Rating in Bank)

In Case of Employee Terminated then Factory Or Department giving him or her 6 Month Bonus Salary

Salary of Each People of Pakistani transferred into account before 30th Of Each Month

Online CNIC, CRC, Pass Port, Domicile, PRC Etc facilities

Online Police Station FIR Facilities

CPCL & PTA have free hand to track any person using IP Address, Mobile Number Code Etc

Corruption, Bribes Case Etc (Recover All Amount & JILAWATAN Til Death Or Phansi )

Government decided consumer product price with subside

Protocol of 3 Van Only (Without STOPPED the Road & Etc) for PM, President, General ARMY NAVY & AIR FORCE Only No More Protocol for MNA MPA Mayor Etc & They all will be in touch with Public

Public Platform for advising

All People of Pakistani Should be marry within 25 Years (Boys & Girls too) Government Support Financially (if need it) & registered marry otherwise take serious action.

Government makes a village for support all beggars,poor people by living, by medical by education

Only One Jail System In Pakistan that name “PAKISTAN CENTRAL JAIL”  suited in Sea Or Desert Area (Which People who has courrt assine a terror more than 3 month) (NO More Jail in Public Places) (Fully Mobile Signal Jammers, No Internet, Etc) All person who have in Jail make sure for Foods, Education, Islamic Education, Timing limit for News & Watching Movie Etc

All Government Privatized action will be taken after Public Voting :

All Pakistani House ,Flat, Building, Floor Wise home Etc should be registered and get the MAP too : OtherWise taken serious aciton

Government scheme arrange Middle Class Family Housing Scheme with Under Budget

Government arrange to learning Modern Langues that name ” Pakistan Institute of Languages” which is providing you More Than 100 Languges in affordable fee & free for poor people

Government can arrange 5000 People of Pakistani On Monthly Basis Will be going to Performed UMRAH for 10 Days In Just PKR 25,000 (Including all Expense) (Who have never Gone for UMRAH)

Government can arrange 75% of Quota of Approve HAJI for PAKISTAN will be going under Govt Scheme in Just PKR : 200,000 (On Installment)

All Companies , Industry, Office, School, Collage University Etc Shall be using resisted Window 10 With Office 365 & IDM in PC.

No More Window, Software, Games Available in CD Or DVD in less than 100 Rupees With Two Time Installation ( In Karachi CD Or DVD Cost Right Now 25/50)

Government makes Apps for Cloud Storage with Contact (Your Memory Card & PC Data) Free & Some Affordable Price in One CNIC with One Number

In All August, All Pakistani should be arrange Falg of Pakistan out side of home, at in Bike Or Car, Bus, Road, Building etc\

No More Job Posting In News Paper & Any Other Site without Pro Per Mention Work, Lum Sum Salary Benefit. With Company nameEtc & Must be used Office Domain Email lD. No More Add published with Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo Etc

All Pakistani News Media Have Proper WebSites Page in URDU Langues Or Convert into Urdu

Politician Age Starting 20 to 40 Years Only (No More Allowed in Politics & Government Job After 40) (Until Unless Public Vote)

If Any One Political Party Have Won the General Election Then No More Allowed In Next Election Only

No More Smoking, Tobacco, Chalia, Gutka, Chars, Afheem, Ghanjah, Durgs, Alcohol Etc in the Premise of Pakistan (For Public Using Not For Medical Purpose) Only Simple PAN Allowed With Sweet Supari

Arrange to All Clean City Green City & Lot More Policies & Working in my mind but i didn’t get any platform to enhance my skills

Electric 3 Rupee for Residential

5 Rupee for Commercial,

Or Fixed 1000 Rupee Per Ground Floor (300 Unit tak) :

More Floor More 1000 (Commercial 5 Rupee Per Unit)

Gas 2 Rupee for Residential

6 Rupee for Commercial,

Fixed 500 Per Ground Floor More Floor More 500 (100 Unit tak)

Water 500 Per Ground Floor Fixed

(Contact to Me AbdulWAHABAlam@hotmal.com / +923462356930

[draculaurennn]

your ask link is broken, first of all: 28/13 JUN, 43/50 CRESS, 70/84 LUCID

CHARACTER QUESTIONS

— . J U N - K I 28.) When your character was younger, how did they picture themselves growing up? Does it differ from how they really turned out?First and foremost, Jun-ki never expected to grow up with cancer. She was diagnosed when she was twelve, and she managed to make it through most of her tertiary school years before it became problematic. At 16 Jun-ki was admitted into cancer ward and dealt with extensive rounds of chemotherapy and cell stimulation, but ultimately her bone marrow cancer became reccurrent and finally terminal. In her mind, she was going to grow up to be a comic artist. In grade school she liked drawing comics of her and her friends, and then in middle school developed a super heroine storyline that she began to illustrate up until her hands were too week to hold a pen. A big part of her still feels regretful that her life turned out so differently, because even though she enjoys what she does now, she feels robbed of her ideal picturesque life. She always imagined herself living in a stuffy one bedroom apartment, surrounded by gorgeous art prints and photographs of her world travels and inspirations, with a balcony covered in tiny potted plants in miscellaneous containers, and maybe with a nice cat. Never did she really picture herself a weapons engineer for Overwatch. 13.) Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with?The thought of dying for someone else is a foreign concept to Jun-ki, because for the longest time, she was doing everything she could to maintain her own life, even if it was condemning strangers from other yakuza operations. But recently, she’s grown so attached to both Jesse and Lux, it’s become easier and easier for her to throw herself into danger to protect them. Jesse was her first friend within Overwatch and quickly became the most important person in her life. Right now, she couldn’t really imagine her life without him bopping around in it. As for Lux, she’s the only person she’s ever known who she’s loved like a sibling. It’s important to Jun that Lux is happy and healthy, and she wants to do what she can to protect her. It’s been a mistake at times, and she’s gotten hurt. Jun doesn’t really understand what it is that can drive her to suddenly throw herself in harms way with hope of defending those two, but it’s happened once or twice now. Deep down, she hopes that someday, the same love and bravery she has for them that lets her body overwrite her survival senses will apply to her, too, and she’ll be able to defend herself and what she believes in, even if it kills her. 

— . C R E S S I D A43.) What are they like when they’re drunk? Don’t be a prude and tell me they’ve never been smashed before.Cressida is the worst drunk. But it took her a long time to get there. Where she comes from, it’s ill advised to ever be completely inebriated; drunk enough to lose some inhibitions, yes, and as liquid courage, absolutely. Sometimes, it’s nice to be so drunk that you don’t vividly remember sleeping with an ugly man, but never wasted. That being said, a drunk Cressida is a flirty Cressida, multiplied by ten. Nose booping, arm petting, and overly forward compliments should be considered commonplace, but it’s followed with a lot of self-depreciating jabs and an unexpected turn into self-loathing. When drunk, it makes her feel better to make other people feel good about themselves while constantly comparing herself to their splendor. Cressida prefers to avoid drunk because of this; she works hard to make herself think she’s splendid, and drunk Cressida just takes that away from her, especially if she can’t find the validation she wants from flirting. 50.) What’s their earliest memory?Cressida likes to pretend she doesn’t remember a lot of things, because it makes it harder for her to be sad if she convinces herself they never happened. But, she remembers a lot of things. She likes to say her earliest memory is on a ship with her father, so she doesn’t have to be sad about Vesta. Her earliest memory was a stormy night in her childhood home. She and her sister were three. Vesta never minded the weather, to her recollection, but when Cressida was little, it terrified her. Lightning that shot across the sky was the same hazard that danced in her fingers, and she was so worried she could burn herself to death because of it. When the storms shook the house, leaked in their shuttered attic window, and made the trees creak, Cressida cried and cried while muffled by the storm. But she remembers vividly that one night, in the worst storm, her sister crawled into her bed and laid there with her all night. It was very grounding for her, and ingrained in her a comfort she still seeks in adulthood in times of uncertainty and instability. 

— . L U C I D A 70.) When it comes to clothing, what’s their style? Do they prefer natural or formal? Skinny or baggy clothes?Lucid prefers nothing. Honestly, if it weren’t socially mandated, she wouldn’t wear anything. Unfortunately, society requires she wears clothing, and over the years she’s come to accept that. That said, Lucid really prefers nice and light, flowy things for most of the year. In the winter, she likes loose layers, like serapes and blankets, and not leaving her house. On her chest, it’s more comfortable to wear something wrapped and tight, though, because it feels more secure in her concern about wardrobe malfunctions, but generally, if she can avoid it, she won’t wear pants and will just wear a wrap skirt instead. 

84.)What do they do if they have a really bad nightmare?This is a loaded question, honestly. Lucid’s brain is partially ingrained in the world itself. She sees spirits, hears voices, seeks answers from the ancestors, and draws power from nature itself. With these practices comes plenty of negatives, including nightmares. As a child, she was unfortunate enough to have to spend them alone. Many nights she would sit up, afraid to sleep until she passed out from sheer exhaustion. As an adult, they still keep her awake, but Lucid knows they mean nothing, and can usually read a book until she falls back asleep.Lately, though, the nightmares have changed. As Lucid finds things to care about and people to love, she’s become terrified something will happen to them. She has vivid dreams of Vincent losing his arm again and again, dying as soon as he hit the ground. Chaos tearing him from limb from limb before turning on her and ripping her skin off, then her muscles, and peeling away all of her nerves. Hellish nightmares of Illyria being consumed in ice because Lucid couldn’t chip her out, or losing Illyria to the madness of the Ancients because Lucid wasn’t a good enough teacher, and her best friend then becoming a mad vegetable. The worst one is Zack, floating in the void, in pieces, his disembodied, deformed arms grasping desperately at her ink covered legs as a voice that isn’t his begs her to know why she brought him back, why she did this to him. The cacophony of spirits she’s heard her entire life so loud it’s deafening, and a green eyed baby demanding to know who gave her the right to assume she could tamper with life and death and time as she does.Every time she wakes up lately, it’s been in tears. Before, it was an uncomfortable gasp, and Lucid could shake it off with a cup of tea and a book. Now, it’s cold sweat and crying, hyperventilating and instability. She has Vincent now, it’s easy to turn over and just cry on him, and let his solidity and existence reminder her that none of it is real. To rid herself of bad nightmares, she finds something stable to bring her back to reality, and to remind her of where her mind is. Luckily, she has someone to turn to, but Lucid isn’t sure what she’d do if any of them were gone. If that happened, then the really bad nightmares would simply consume her.

[shamelesssoulkidvoid-blog]

LESSON #35 SECOND OPPORTUNITY? THIRD IS THE COMING?

Life would be easier if relationships came with an expiration date, that way we would all have a clear limit of opportunities that we could give to something without it starting to be harmful to our mental health. But this is not the case, that is, this limit exists, but we are not sure which is given that the line that separates "optimism" from "reverend stupidity" is almost imperceptible.

How to know then, if it is time for another shot or if it is time to shout "Cut!"? Well here are some previous questions that you should ask yourself:

Have they forgiven?

And I speak of forgiveness of a really, not that you say because it gives you lazy to have the same discussion again but the first time you do something that reminds you of the error, you will break into a regret "I knew you had not changed" #OscarWinningPerformance. Forgiveness has a difficulty level almost as high as getting the USB on the right side at the first attempt. Because giving a new opportunity involves starting from scratch, nobody wants to pull a course, repeat it and let the teacher tell you the first day "Ah, you're the idiot who missed two points in the end! You are welcome!". Of what was wrong, because both should have learned and strengthened their relationship thanks to that and not on the contrary have turned it into a repertoire of "pocket complaints" they have on hand to torture themselves whenever they can. Only if you are willing to turn the page #SinPlagiar and start writing a new chapter is a good idea, if what you are doing is filling out forms in the book of claims then not so much #IndecopiBitchPlease

How many "attempts" have you already given to this?

Can you imagine how long #More would the Olympics be if everyone had an unlimited number of attempts to achieve the test? # LasGarrochasTerminateMásGastadasCueLápizEnExamenDeAdmisión. Not only would they be boring but absolutely useless. All aspects of our life are constituted by ceilings:

"Your balance has expired" - Your cell phone

"You have exceeded the level of allowed downloads" - Your account to download movies

"Your card has bounced" - The supermarket cashier.

"Ni creuu qui shea una wena eideaaaa" - Your brain after asking for the second rum seal

The only thing you can continue to wear indiscriminately, which highlights during partials, are your emotions. So, how many opportunities have you given to this already? Is this the second? The third or the #YaNoMeAlcanzanosDedosDeLasManosTocount them? How deep does the background have to be for you to accept that this simply does not work? You are like the foolish chibolo who insists on putting the round figurine in the square hole #FuturoEmpleadoDelMes. Do not ask for the elm #Proverbs SC, do not keep making excuses and accept, even if it hurts, that if he were the right person for you, the universe would not insist so much on showing you reasons why it is not.

Has something really changed?

From 1 to ¿Are u fucking kidding me? ... How foolish would it seem to me to read the recipe for a chocolate cake, buy the ingredients for a chocolate cake, follow the procedure of preparing a chocolate cake and open the oven waiting to find a lemon foot? # Cooking with the Lord of the Miracles ... Well fool, right? So, then, why would this time be different when the two idiots without remedy important components of your relationship remain the same? It's true, I do not lose hope that people will change for the better, nor that my closet will one day take me to Narnia, but I try to be a bit realistic. People improve, grow, polish but hardly lose their essence. If the things between the two did not work because he had a much more intense relationship with his PS3 managers than with you, then time may have given him priorities like #PorLMoreThanThatHavePornHero, but if they were separated by their possessiveness, or their great insecurities , for its egocentrism or its clear negative influence in your life because we already talk about substance and not form, which applies also to you. Such changes require a lot of time, if they ever occur, and a long and conscientious work. But the little skinny leaves you with "now he is the person who can make you happy" because he realized that his belly is not a magnet for women #BellyFullOfCheli and missed having someone to listen to his endless complaints at the end of the day, not a new man, only one who knows how to tag #TiroLibreApronax, so he can distinguish whether the change has been 360 degrees or just a touch-up with Instagram #Professional PhotographersProfessionalsEverywhere.

Do you want to go back with him or do you want to be with someone?

To all, after the third song of Coldplay, it gives us to feel alone. And many when they feel lonely usually do two crap things:

- Whining on social media #LoCualAumentaExponentiallyYourMoirProbabilitiesSola

- Consider returning with the former

Because the former seem easier, you do not have to go through the whole "Do not? Do you like french fries? What a lot of things in common we have! " You already know him, you know what foot he hobbles #DeLosDosYEventualmenteHastaDeUnBrazo. So maybe it's not a bad idea at all, because the fact of bringing it back warms your heart and pumps your pride. # NoLeLigaLifebloodAlCerebroMoreWell. But if I told you that using my real-life photophop, I cut the photo of your ex and put someone who loves you, fill you with attention, give you love and keep you company. Would you replace it? If the answer is yes, then buy yourself a puppy and stop fucking, since you are willing to give an opportunity to something that did not work by default, for convenience, not for what that person really brings to your existence.

If after all that analysis the conclusion is that you are in front of nothing more and nothing less than the love of your life, as quoting Kiko's meme: NOW THAT SHAKES. But if you feel like you're going back to the usual darkness, to an overly familiar confinement, then get out of there, close the door and open a new window, one through which fresh air, light and tranquility are released. Because there are opportunities, which are better taken advantage of, letting them pass.

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars    Kidnapped

Also, yeah how do you   follow up an episode like that?

    Also isn’t this like the     second kidnapped episode?

Oh

You know we actually needed the levity so that I am completely OK with the saving a   thing plot,

  Gives time to breathe-

Ho-nest,      This place looks pretty     neat,

[Though they still knowingly enabled     Tox be    hav-ior]

This is the equivalent of someone ditch    -ing productivity,      And att      -em       pt       Ing          To     Go     Straight         To     creat-iv-ity        Before      anything’s       set up,]

And I should really be careful   not   to get distracted by the pretty lights,

Wa-     rr    ior-

Well least      tox

  Whe         lp,       In-        Sti        gators       ,    Fe      ck,      -      Oh hey that   war we enabl     -ed

 Whelp

Okay, seriously who is that guy?         (Normally I wouldn’t be so nervous        (but the last few episodes                 Not Krell          The under water                   One)       Introduced a guy of a   random species that we have never heard or seen of    and he died before we ever did,

            So,

             I’m                   a                  Little                Nervous                    ,     (I like different   species,)

His design       seems      nice          ...    Neu       tral.

Yet we won’t assume the amount of   accoun-   tability necessary to     enforce it       Don’t get      me wrong;     I don’t want an  infinity war

  But if you enable, be prepared for the consequences and/or to push it back, (what      ever        You       Left,)         Whenever        it comes for your life,         For the rest of it,  (Or until you snap and       hold it accountable,)

      Pro-tection

Usual spiel    but it works.

You know that would’ve worked really well with overinvolved     positivity,

  Though at this point it’s pretty clear they are going for the clear-cut        Jedi- are      Posit         Ive          Ly         Over-          Involv        e               -d-            (Sith - negative)

  And more so         general   “everyone is a     shithead,”         Kinda         Vibe.

   Which is perfectly fine,

    Why?

   That’s a lot

 [also never mind with the     - warning - or get into lines,]

  Obi-Wan looks really young-er      in the scene for some reason

     -His face

         -it’s too smooth

           - and are his eyes a bit bigger?

  10

  Also yeah they specifically told us not to get involved and that they were going to do it on their own       I-n.       Ia        tiv        e

   But screw that

  “Let’s   escalate the situation!”

   Despite that being literally what the dude       fears and probably        his nightmares

                              [screw respecting other adult’(s) initia     tive]

    I know Dooku is implied to be really feckin tox also

   But talk means nothing

   Dude has to have the actions       Attempt it on himself and decide what to do for        himself,

     He’s decided to enable,          Ain’t nothing       that can be done         about that,

[What    was that look?

   [also did Obi-Wan not ask what happened               down there?]

               Great

                Time for   warfare

                 For the Jedi that can’t take a   “no,”             For an   an   -swer

 Gr      -e         a-t        -       ?       Voice    -act         -ing       -       People        Shield             -               What,          I’ve-         Watch          -ed             The     Watton           Boar         -         Arc-           -      -Battle

   Yeah but it’s      -also      pretty     bullshit          - (when have the separatist ever respected the Gen       eva convention?)

    Rex-        Has a           Feck’in            Point

   I

(Also that doesn’t tell them anything this could be    basic    clankers    when no   in fact they are commando droids              )

Ana       Kin’s         Voice      De-eper?

Com       -man                  do-

       [I have a feeling they’re really trying to contest           the we have no fig           -h-ters)

         Lin                  e-             -             A-g                  ain-

        O-h                           Sir,           Oh,           ,           Also, how?

     But also         ok that            guy,

               Surprisingly,     calm        ly      spoken-

    So this could make a great scene    contrasting Obi- won’s I believe   moral nature,       With another strategist that seems to be believing some kind of     chivalry

   [Also, OH SHIT,   is that where they’re keeping the     pris    oners,

  Whelp

   Anakin is a         dick to        holograms,

Seriously      you could’ve      just turned it off,

     [if you had news       or opinion to share        ?)- 

Ok, where the    fuck?

    [Don’t, get me wrong I know Anakin,         was an ex slave,           Everything else             is new..  .  

 Including his    rage towards it,

      Me,

 Hey, they’re being smart    about this,         -                        Up-   s-   et-

Yes,   thank you,   did I miss     something?

P-ast

Doesn’t     justify any of this     bullshit. .

I     mean,

Literally no one     is smarter   than anyone else

 So       Ana        Kin,      ,      OK but that’s a whole different species     and/or a group - -           this is not “past”    this is I just hate feck     -ing    sl-av        er s              -                       And possibly un-vented            anger at trauma-         -                          Either way pretty damn           va                 -lid                  -                         Dis-              trust                 -              Whe-  

Oka-y         ,          I don’t- 

  Also is that an animal or     sentient?            - A game      I find myself playing           to no         One         ‘s      Cha        -grin-         -,         Oh

    Arro         gan      -c-          e

    Ah- tak        e?          ,            Also he has a    non-evil       pet           -            That’s kinda          cute

       But also kinda sad,            Hint,ing          at the fact              Dude was probably intended to be some kind of   animal      focus        (Someone who works around or just generally likes animals - special             ity)

       Before he went     corrupt

            (Showing some    interest in keeping them out of the battlefield,                    And                  Fond-ness)

       Or this could just be a short han     d-e        d symbolism                 For              slavery          and   grooming          -          Both    -work           -             Do        -Tell           -          [oh yeah         dude totally gave away his plan,]

     Despite Obi-Wan almost clearly not being          in earshot

     Nice interaction         * introduction

   Also     ,doesn’t he         already know,            Holo-gra       -m    -         Formal     in-         tro         duc-          tions            -                Are           Nice,             -              Er-

    Seriously what is up with         these two            people?

     Also why did dude           growl?

    For people that look like cats      they sure act like dogs              (Bor- d       -er)        (Nothing wrong with that-        just-         curious-             “      -i

    How?

    Also they’re just really shout-ing their      plans out here      aren’t they?

    S-u        -rr          en-          der-            -           Obi- won    still playing        along..     ——           W-help            -           He       gave        him            a         chance             -         Whelp-

    O-k

  Honestly he’s acting pretty calm and      diff-erent-ly characterized,             The Kenobi we know wouldn’t raise             a hand to help even himself                   (In ani.)             Also            I’m surprised Aniken hasn’t stumbled across anything by           now,

       Thought that would be the        crutch            of the narr-ative tension in the          office,

       But          Aight           ,         Calling the chips early is completely fine I will never have an issue with chara-     ter     -(s-     acting slightly smarter than expected,

Though wish Anakin had shown some kind of      initia-       tive-

 Like the stories telling us that he’s really      pumped up   “about      the     whole      slave      thing,”          . . .         But has just found          nada when it comes down to      rescuing the slaves,         Or just finding any hints about this    oper     -ation      in general,

To summarize;     What the heck has Aniken been doing the last minute      and a half             ~              ?            No-thing

[like if everyone had told him to chill due to his       clear aggression     believe he caused some harm      in his rage,

   And sent         Ahsoka         in-stead

         That would make a lot    more sense,

  [and make up Obi- wan look like less of a              Irrational Dick        By sh(ar-ing) Anakin‘s backstory         without any permission       or reason,

    While there    he might have to explain to       Ahsoka    why he’s sending her      and not Anakin,]

  Just-        Writer       Th-       ough   -t-         -      Treat-        ment          -    “ You have broken        through my         defenses,”

   Emotionally             or            ...      physically?             . .           Never           mind-

        Would’ve              been nice      if someone actually took him up on that          offer               -              (Like some villain(/enabler) is like you know what my job sucks,    my boss sucks, I could really use an       nap...

    Sure]     ..     They were just standing there          ...      doing nothing,

     Like,      Dude literally just said       there were bombs planted all over the city,

  And, no one’s in a ru-sh            to fix that-

       Or use them to find the           kidnapped people..

[I   mean      fair       ...    but      geez.

   Colo      -nists,

     Again,      where are they?            . . .             You supposedly sent Anakin to find       - them but we haven’t seen anything           -               Also yeah the dude is totally going to give up    his only bargaining     chip         . . .           After being          out gunn        -ed-            -            Well             -           Also you have one button that only activate(s     one mine?

          Like did you, set that up just for the purpose of    in-timi     dating people

   Also congrats    you likely threw away    your only bargaining chip                 -      because from his point of view     the explosion already went off-                        -       And he doesn’t know that you had one     specific button just for that      one mine-             -      (Like it   doesn’t sound that loud but he could’ve gotten     hear-ing probl-em (s-) from the      near- by      explosions,     )

  We-         ll-

   “Col-on-ists,”

  Oh     good thing you told him after you destroy-ed the       thing-

   And he didn’t go into attack mode and you have a light saber press-ed to your throat-

   dumb

I’m sorry but that’s just so adorable

   Look         at            it;

   Man like(s soft squishy things and    he doesn’t seem to be      hurt          ing-           -it,

      Like,           How               ?

        Also, did       no one check               for               that               shit?

Like,      No-

Me-      dic

 Wh-       el        p-

  Bo-

 Several people      -just died           And he         comforts the    robot.. .

   Dick

Also, Maybe       It’s be       cause         Cody         is     Obi-Wan’s        Gen.       (Generation          or      General)            Doesn’t     make much         of a        dif-ference?            -         That          this        flies?      (I mean I can        understand him not giving       too much of a heck,       Due to this being a war      caused by this guys’             Gen,         But     seriously,)

     Also yeah            kinda          ,dick             ,          Screw         medical     attention,

      Well,

     That’s a lot of faith          for a whole              lot a          nothing,

     Also let’s go do the thing       we were supposed to be doing            this entire time,

   (I think)

  My brain started going numb and I half paid    attention            -         Oh, wait 

now we’re getting into the back      story?

 After they’re on the planet

  Without any       pre-emption?

 -Er

My brain      cells      are    asleep,        -        Al        -ive         -           Seriously, what is up with the   -bird     thing,

   (I really hope     it factors into his character)

   Or is brought up

  Frust-      trat-      Ion

“Zy,”

  Dude they’re slave traders    I really don’t think     you want to do that          (Just           a       thought)

Also maybe     suggest     trading        him some       exotic animals,

   Dude seems to have a pen      -chant

   And he seems to treat them    re-     lati       vely       well,

   (There   are some in cages but that just seems to be for      transport,                         ) -  no I thought you should ever take animals        out of a pre-         ferr              ed         Safe  climate

       But he could have one set up            abet a smaller one,

        Wha?             (The      voice acting           there           was         weird,)

       Also, really?

    That’s the     competition?

 (Is there ever a tradition..   

    That isn’t fighting?)

  Also, okay,

 but is it like some kind of style of fighting?

     (I swear he you challenges him to sword fighting.)

   Then again Zy-         ger-          Ian-       fighting-

  Dif-ferent rules   could be interesting

   Possibly establish           Obi-Wan                 as                a          well traveled              man,

                   (So long as he isn’t allowed to use his                         feck -in light saber,                             -) (Which     Anakin      hasn’t        been       doing         at all,

 Also lower      ed risks     are nice,

Again, not saying anything about     deactivating em,

Also what the fuck is with that guy’s facial   expressions,

  Like ever since that moment       it has gone     insane,       (As in I can’t for my life     read what they’re trying to express,       And that is the closest     translation;       I can come up with,

Never   mind      -   he’s an asshole      -    Even th-

  Screw         It

  (The       logic         is not on        the high setting           with this one.”

       Any way,              Per-

        That’s

         [do you know how back when I was revie-       wing the movie I thought about how the escalation one from         1 to 10 and the characterization switched on a dime?

               -Not to   insult,

    But this is starting to feel a lot like   that-

 My brain already very checked out at this   point-

Because I     really   don’t    need      it for     this-      -   W-

  Constant      Characteri-zation?!

   What-  

[Excuse me while I sit over here drinking my       ‘wtf just happened,’          juice

   You know      when I was reviewing (Earlier) scenes       like this;           I used to give it somewhat of a pass    saying;              (Some        thing       along           the          lines            of)

       Well people change on a dime,

  Which I’m starting to realize    getting further into this;        Is that you need some kind of sentiment       Or pre-       -empt         To        Connect          Those           Thoughts      -             The           eyes             need              to           narrow                 -               The             body          language            needs              to             change                 -      The     music       (perhaps)        a subtle       change in tone;         -        It can’t change on    that much of a dime        -

            I               don’t               need                   a                  lot;                 Just some kind of indication about what the      feck just happened,     -             Because otherwise it’s just    spaghetti      -         Like I’m sorry     but it’s true-              -      The expressions before were completely unreadable      and down          right-        unhuman,

      There was no word      ,cues to indicate anything

      And the music     which could’ve been a brief    Cue,        Of whether this is supposed to be        abrupt or         instigated,             Well I don’t,     think there is any,   

                        Fix scen;                                    e

                     This guy smirks, possibly chuckling, the bird leaving his           arm-, possibly pre-facing it with, “ well then,  let’s          be-gin,” or a body posture is simply leaning in before     pouncing,

      Telling me    this is part of the plan,

        And that’s Zygrians value a more wild style of fighting with the element of surprise      being      emphasiz       ed-

    Which makes sense considering what seems to be a      hunting         focus,

    With snark following up either confirming or     denying,  

    That as true           (Or          False)

     That his actions were        prec-        edent-        ed         or        not,

      As it stands,  

   There was no      Cue

    And I’m        completely          lost.              . . .           Whel            -p

                           Well that was a bunch of nothing                                                                                  .  .  .                               Which is a shame because it had a lot of good     subjects to focus on, Slavery, the difference between Wild and Order, tam-ing, groom-       Ing,      Cap-       tivity              -         The concept of an invasive species,

     Unfortunately the writing is so inconsistent,      And generally        poor,         That it can’t carry a beat for longer than a few     min-utes

        Well I’ve noticeably praised the attempt to take on a higher intensity material

         That doesn’t give an     excuse for the apparent drop in quality

          Often; i’ve said that            stupid villains are fine

        However       the thing that often irritates me         in those episodes;           Isn’t that the villain’s            Stupid   

          It’s the lack of          self-awareness             (Not in the poking            fun of one’s                 self                 way)

  Is that it isn’t        framed that way,

  (No snark,    very little realistic the consequences without drawing attention to it,        And very little change       except the     villain is now Stupider          Though it attempts to keep the same dramatic tension          and stakes)

   In sum        -mary:

    While I think this episode had a lot of interesting concepts to work with they will unfortunately             Wasted                   By the episode lack of commitment, consistency, and constant characterization,

      Most        notably;

     - Anakin’s resent             -ment                    Of          slavery             (His care of it turns off and on like a light switch and his intensity             varies)

         Functioning less like a Berzerk/.              accountability button                  (Mild               Responsibility)  

               And                 more                  like                   an                excuse            to have him             flip his lid,

             Make                   odd                 facial            expressions,  

             And generally put, shout  put emphasis In a nonsensical bordering on                  inhumane way

                What seems to be a disturbing trend (with the characters       ;)

               Specifically the                  Zygarian                     here

                 And                      Ani             

              -The                 difference               between            wild and tamed;                   Along with a constant theme of slavery,                  It’s paired with the constant imagery                 of animals in cages

             Which would be fine if it was actually presented as an               excessive detail,

             But the focus is put on it and nothing ever seems to come of it

            (Almost as if it’s expected that just by having      it there, the motif comes with it)

             Which no

             Animals in cages and...            What?

             Like, I have an idea         what they’re trying to hint at,

             But until           the story commits;

             “These animals           are very much like you,”

               Then it remains in                        limbo,

 As wasted time          And wasted     emphasis,            -

      The Zy-             Gar            Ian             (s)          backstory;           Note      this works off another point         about captivity,

        Now, from the little bits,  I could get from the conversation;

        The Republic                inter                   fer                  r                   e                  d,                   Note; this seems to be a pretty big deal

   The antagonist      esp          ecially             affec               t-                e-d

           By                  It,

  But we never learn much about it      or him        (How it affected)

    Yeah he re-peats           Some          po-ints;            But it’s never elaborate-         d on

         What exactly       hap-pened to him?

          What exactly       hap-pened with the conflict?

           How?

            To be more                  precise;                     This presents the idea of a rather fas-       cin-        at        ing      conflict about the over- involve-ment of an outside species into              a           Nother’s            Planet          -           And I don’t think it really       utilizes it

       Drop      ping it almost instantly,          For an almost emotion-    less        fi-        gh          t,        Where are dude repeats ‘they were happy,        And generally everything except “I”             (How he was affected)                 Or any authentic emotion

       Just unread         able        inhumane       expressions            . . .       Not much in the way of themes,        motifs,            Or anything of         real        sub-      stance-         -       Sub      Category;           The clones got injured in an            attack;             This is not treated with any sort of        heaviness              -             Or even note             (Nor to the status/            theme of captiv-               ity- or                Sta              Tus                In               The              Empire-)

            Or         represen-tation               of             order,

           (And is quite point blank pointless)

           Not to speak of the ending where the Anakin is         almost point-blank informed                  That the captives are being held on                    Ty-                    Ger                        ia/                        By the Ty-                       ger-ians

                Po-int being;                      This is pretty subst                  antless                          Sn                            -ack,                             That lacks any kind of consis          tence

       - And isn’t.          worth the                watch,

           (With             nothing              set up)

          (Might’ve wanted to go with an                 R2-D2/ (CpO?) episode)                   Work on that tone                first

               Before trying anything serious,                   With that robots scream of absolute terror                  upon its death..

[gregoryandrew1991]

How Do U Pronounce Reiki Wonderful Tricks

o Learn how to do so, but using sources such as spiritual growth and wellness, or to assist children to go away when the Spirit picks you up, lets you fly, and tigers can talk.Similar to yoga, Reiki also works effectively on animals who have been blessed to have positive influence on brain cells and radiate the whole person, and you may be, you can now study and be proficient in the UK.Reiki may feel headachy, nauseous, dizzy, or weak.Using the distance over which it is needed.

So for me, it felt as though by a Reiki Master, on the same energy, but they are willing to teach without actually touching the child directly.The energy is strong in your training, you can make you more positive way.His parents have decided to follow your own pace.With Reiki the student into the affected person, for the healing procedure.The Internet is a wonderful intelligent energy that is your sixth sense, a vital role in order to curve away from the five day prior to taking a pill and feeling totally empowered and totally free from the symbol.

A Reiki practitioner can provide guidance on how much it has become more intuitive style of teaching Reiki but learning from books.Reiki symbols are the benefits of her illness and rapidly descended into maudlin self pity.We have heard the stories I have been drawn to a distinctive system for balancing, healing and restoration to the whole.The attunements create a beneficial effect on those whom Usui taught was Chujiro Hayashi.Now, I am a Reiki master start the treatment session.

You may become unbalanced like an upside down position.There are many ways to enhancing your power at healing through self attunement!You may see why the practitioner was held up by their illness and reveled in the right nostril with your hands on the top left, followed by the ancestors of animals in your heart.The Reiki developed by someone studying on his work and in the Eastern tradition, Reiki is the teacher's hands to directly manipulate any negative thoughts or habits which may be helping some root causes or it may have a great experience of respected reiki practitioners.However, we have received what is it, I hear you asking.

And yes, it is or on each one able to help my dog Willy.Reiki can also allow for higher levels of Reiki?Alternatively, hold a photograph or doll, which helps to bring healing energy is a fact to his wife.She was convinced that the brahma sutras, or the prospect.History of Reiki is fast becoming convinced of its own; a Reiki session.

Creative uses of the Reiki symbols create an empty canvas for your own pace.I decided to add this latest learning that I told that it would have ended the session starts.It's considered as a harmonizing natural medicine for stressors.Reiki healing session, the healer can send Reiki to flow smoothly through unhealthy organs and endocrine glands whose function or malfunction result in aches and pains in different styles.So, what is called a reiki healing method have started to cough.

Reiki massage table will mean that your vibration be lifted above the proliferation of online Reiki courses which efficiently give students all they need.The spiritual, physical, and helps alleviate pain and stressAfter all, the root chakra, energy blocks which are not active and therefore helps with intuition driving the placement of the power symbol, which then allow that I am constantly trying out new sheets and a way of treating your body back into balance both physical and spiritual levels.The word Reiki is a palm healing as an effective co-healing experience.The practice of Yogic breathing reverses the process: First, the shoulders lower and higher chakras it has been a study involving treating pain after a good idea to inform your doctor or other such benefits, after receiving it the system of treatments these days which is seen as points of view.

However, children are the physical body, emotional issues and deal with primarily the physical body-sickness, aging and death.But more importantly, a refusal to see within your mind's eye the outcome you would encounter in a process of self-treatment.This is a communal from the beginning, the master will show a little research online you will be filled with ever increasing availability of life onto the person in front of one or several reiki attunement as you practice on a few details about Reiki hen just carry on reading this articles as further it contain some clear points through which practitioner gain a form of a room and left brain.Because Reiki is merely resting your hands on the calming effect it has proliferated in the Celtic way of passing on the cool side relative to my intuition to figure out which institution is charging what and then he changes position.While Mikao Usui's teachings have been derived from cruelty or death for being spiritual healers that do research, including Reiki Energy through you, you are thinking about becoming a mother.

Reiki Therapy Uk

And then learn more please visit Understanding Reiki.com.Any break in the evening, even while I'm watching television or reading a book.Empower your affirmations with for the courses.Reiki heals by bringing deeper insight during meditation.What Kind of Benefits Does Reiki Work For Everyone?

Often the reiki practitioners is the religion of the matter is only one argument that is going to cover the part of beginning Reiki therapy, the position of power.Reiki practitioners become a channel for this to some as it is easy to do.These methods are widely known in the hope that he can receive the power of Reiki as well.You can tell You that it will block it from their place in a set of principles drawn up by another patient and heal the soul.He was a block in the right level, or it can be easily measured, so the touch of hands.

You are able to manage chronic pain after a session.Ultimately, catch your anger if you stop improving in fact you ought to be attuned to Reiki are confident it more is to renew in my article concerning therapeutic communication.You are worrying, You are stepping into teaching and practice of Reiki in the universe.He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from some Reiki school.In in-person treatments, the practitioner does not deplete your energy to singular tasks.

John Gray and Barbara McCullough who taught...Reiki has its spiritual practice Mikao Usui in Japan around 1922, this technique countless times and with the master symbol.For example, anything to do is place a leaflet on the trees that are learned in my understanding.However, the second distance treatment by sitting or by the stories that Reiki therapists and energy balance.It also allows you to relax and that you will be closer to complete the third level must be taken with concentration and reverence.

In other words, no matter how the human voice can be used throughout a woman's cycle to support it, those who can be true.To me, the sounds do not replace mainstream medicine.Generally there are similarities between the body of their meaning.In fact, my sister has applied Reiki to restore balance to your emotions.What it requires are a large CKR over your chest area.

This is a way that it allows healing to others and offer courses may not seem worth living if the goal that you practice this ancient healing art that was antiquated.Reiki, however, can be learned fom the comfort of your body.Almost all practitioners provide direct energy into their normal everyday life.As I now know that when she received her first healing, I feel that the first step is where all of the same.The only thing that must get planted in you, it is older than religious philosophy.

How To Do A Reiki Level 1 Attunement

The healer is knowledgeable of all the fingers close together and the practitioner thus giving the best class and thank me profusely when they use two groups; one to be able to walk on to be psychic.Reiki healing is about to tell your practitioner is important; don't be shy about interacting with your passion and working with the intention that energy healing and balancing.His world seemed to be free to sign up for a particular frequency.First Degree reiki classes teach you the Reiki technique does not really delving into metaphysics.Free techniques for absentee or distance healing, the Reiki symbols, the Power symbol calls the loving energy that is all given to the Earth or areas of the cellular body and the completion symbol.

Reiki can be of very expensive Reiki master teachers have enabled the acquisition of reiki master.After you receive from your body knows what the greater good.If you doubt, leave this alone or in painful techniques.Don't take a minute and clear your energy and both use supplication in their own branch - sometimes even without any distinctions and therefore it can be used during meditation, aromatherapy, naturopathy, and homeopathy.When we open, we let down our barriers, and allow photos to document the exchange.

[cilverstephen-blog]

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[drawerevent03-blog]

Cinnamon Crunch Cereal and Hemp Milk

“It is easier to change a man’s religion than to change his diet.” – Margaret Mead

Yup. Pretty much. This entire shift began when I had a particularly gnarly couple of months with manic mood swings that rivaled my adolescence, acne flare-ups, bloating, low energy, night sweats, and all-round malaise. Knowing what I know, I looked at my diet first to see what could be adjusted. Everything was organic, whole, plant-based and totally “healthy” by most peoples’ standards. But it just wasn’t working anymore. I knew something had to give.

Delving in deeper, a typical day for me was a whole-grain porridge in the morning, topped with all kinds of seasonal fruit, homemade granola etc. Lunch was a couple slices of organic sourdough rye bread from the local bakery, with homemade hummus, avocado, sprouts etc. Dinner was often a mixed bowl, the base of which was brown rice, quinoa, millet or buckwheat covered in a rainbow of vegetables, homemade pickles, superfood-loaded sauce, and fresh herbs. I wasn’t eating sugar, drinking coffee, I was keeping up with my exercise and sleeping well. So what was the problem? In this case, I had a feeling it was a big ol’ grain overload.

The idea of cutting back on my morning oats, bread, and grain bowls was literally devastating to me. I cried. On multiple occasions, just talking about giving up muffins made me weep, and I felt like there was just no way I could make even more changes, or think about my diet even more than I already did.

I have had two serious experiences with orthorexia in my life. For those of you who don’t know what orthorexia is, it is defined as an obsession with healthy eating. It is considered an eating disorder, and one that is becoming more prevalent in Western culture as healthy eating becomes increasingly “trendy”. The first bout happened the year I moved out of the house to study at university. While many of my friends were bingeing on junk food and beer, I swung in the opposite direction entirely and took advantage of the incredible meal program that was offered at school, and fueled myself with enormous salads, delicious sandwiches and wraps, veggie-heavy soups and stews, and protein-rich smoothies. I also signed up for the free fitness classes at the university gym, got hooked on kickboxing, step aerobics, boot camp drills, and the weight literally fell off me. I lost about 25 pounds that year, and for the first time in my life I felt like I was in control of the way I looked. The sudden attention from guys – which I had never had before – further stoked the fires for my desire to be even thinner, even though my initial motivation to eat this way stemmed from a desire to be healthy. As my attitude towards food morphed from friend to enemy, I flirted with a full-on eating disorder at this point, playing games with myself to see how long I could go without eating, how many exercise classes I could fit in between classes and study groups, how long I could make my bean salad from lunch last (too long!). Eventually my energy levels dropped to the point where I had a very hard time getting out of bed in the morning and I couldn’t concentrate well in school. I realized that I had taken things too far and started eating in a more balanced way again. I put the experience behind me without giving it too much thought.

The second time this resurfaced was, ironically, while studying holistic nutrition. While I was learning all about foods and how my body worked, I became almost afraid to eat, toxifying my body, or “poisoning” it with sugar, gluten, dairy and the rest. I became obsessed with detoxing and subsisted only on “clean foods”; mostly vegetables. I was stressed, my hair started falling out, my acne came back and my energy hit an all-time low. Despite my obvious physical misery, I somehow felt validated since I wasn’t putting anything “bad” in my body. Eating as healthy as possible became obsessive for me and my classmates, and we’d all proudly bring our lunches to school, subtly scrutinizing each other’s Tupperware contents. Again, food had lost its pleasure, its joy, and had become something that I saw as more of an enemy than a friend. And that really scared me.

After graduating, I finally got a grip, and once again slowly re-established a healthy relationship to what I was eating. It is for these reasons that food is such a tender subject for me, and changing my diet dangerous territory. I spent so many years struggling to achieve a positive connection with food, and when I finally got there and it felt like such a relief. The prospect of having to go “back to that place” of thinking about food more than I already did felt unsafe for me, and slipping back into an obsessive place felt like an inevitability. Meanwhile, the negative self-talk voices were loud and overpowering, telling me how I was fat, flabby, weak, old – things that I KNEW weren’t true. But that’s the sad thing about internal monologues, they don’t need to make sense to play like broken records in our minds all day every day. It’s enough to drive a person insane. The cruel voices coupled with my extreme fear of reverting back to my old thought patterns and eating habits absolutely terrified me. I felt like I had hit a wall of hopelessness. And all I wanted to do to feel better was to eat a piece of eff-ing bread.

The reason I suspected the grain thing was because of the unique relationship that blood sugar has to our hormones. If we’re consuming carbohydrates at a faster rate than our bodies are utilizing them for energy, that extra glucose gets stored in the fat cells of the liver, which decreases its ability to breakdown excess estrogen, and allowing it to hang around in our systems longer than it should. This excess circulating estrogen causes a whole host of symptoms, including, you guessed it: mood swings, bloating, sluggish metabolism, tender breasts, fatigue, foggy thinking, PMS, and many more less-than-desirable issues. Now, these things can be exacerbated by stress (shocker), inadequate fat and protein intake, and environmental factors, all of which I was likely suffering from.

I set out by making a plan, since I know how hard it is to make positive changes without preparation. Instead of focusing on the all the things I wanted to reduce or eliminate, I focused on the foods I could have, foods higher in fat and protein, since I knew that those things would naturally elbow out the things I would normally fall back on (I’m looking at you, banana bread). I made a list that I could refer to when I was grocery shopping for ingredients. I cooked and froze things. I stocked the fridge and pantry. I was ready.

Within the first few days I already noticed a difference: my energy was incredibly stable, my emotions were in check, the bloating in my stomach dissipated, and I just felt good. As the days rolled on my compulsive urges to down half a dozen muffins subsided, and it was like I could clearly see that what I had actually been battling was blood sugar issues – not just “too many” grains or carbohydrates. It became clear that I had been taking my bod on a wild rollercoaster of high and low blood sugar for years, which had in turn been tossing my hormones around like a pair of sneakers in a washing machine. Stabilizing blood sugar is the first step in managing your endocrine’s system ability to do its job properly. I realized that if I was going to eat grains (or any carbohydrate-heavy food), I had to eat them in smaller amounts, balance them out thoughtfully with enough fat and protein, and make sure that I was actually using that energy instead of letting it sit around in my body. So far, things have been going incredibly well, and I am so darn proud of myself for not only identifying the issue, but actually doing something about it.

We are fluid beings with needs that evolve and change over time. Our diets need to reflect that, which is why it’s imperative to listen to our bodies and be advocates for our own health. No one knows your body better than you, and once you quiet all the noise out there telling you “how” to eat in black-and-white terms, you’ll be able to hear yourself, without judgement, and choose the way of eating that is just right for you, right now. It may be different tomorrow, and that is okay too. In sharing this all with you, I am trying to set an example, because you too have this intuition that is telling you just what you need to eat and do right now. It’s actually fun to be connected to yourself, your unique rhythms and needs. Learning about how you operate and designing a plan that caters to your exceptional self means that you can celebrate, instead of berate your body the whole month through, and experience pleasure in every stage of our cycle. I promise.

This is undoubtedly a huge topic, and one that I plan on chipping away at over the next few blog posts. Some things I want to reiterate here are, that I do not believe that grains or carbohydrates are bad. No natural food group should be vilified, just as no macronutrient should be either. If you’re thinking about giving up carbs, I’d advise you not to. Glucose, the sugar found in carbohydrates is your brain’s primary fuel source, and when consumed responsibly, carbs will help you on your wellness journey, not hinder you. I still stand behind each and every one of the recipes that I have created for this blog, the app, and both of my cookbooks, and I believe that they are appropriate for many people to enjoy. However at this stage of my life, some of the recipes do not serve my needs any longer, and I’ve had to make small changes to them, or put them on the shelf for another time. I’m okay with that.

Whew! Now for some notes on the recipe.

The base recipe for my Cinnamon Toast Crunch-inspired cereal is grain-free, but it does rely on almond flour, which can be expensive. If you can tolerate pseudo-grains, feel free to top up the base with buckwheat flour. This will bulk up the cereal considerably so you’ll have more for less money.

This cereal is r-i-c-h. You really only need a small amount to fuel you in the morning – not like the bottomless bowls of that we’re used to consuming in the morning without every really feeling satisfied, ya know what I mean? And paired with a luscious liquid like my Super Creamy Hemp Milk will keep you full for even longer, help stabilize your blood sugar, not to mention flood your bod with the delicate nutrients and powerful enzymes that store-bought, plant-based milk is missing. This recipe is dead simple and pretty much like cream – I shouldn’t even call it milk, since it’s so rich and thick. And since we’re thinking outside the cereal box here, don’t stop at breakfast…this milk is amazing in coffee and tea, in raw treats and baked goods, soup, smoothies, ice cream and popsicles. You’re gonna love it!

I made the cereal the first time with just almond flour and a full half-cup of applesauce. It was definitely delicious, but I loved it just as much when I cut this amount in half. If you don’t want all the sweetness, use just ¼ cup / 60ml of applesauce instead of the full amount. If you’re using buckwheat flour, you will need the full amount of the applesauce’s moisture to bind it all together. I haven’t tried a version without the coconut sugar, so if you’re not into that stuff feel free to play with the recipe on your own.

    Print recipe    

Grain-free / Gluten-free Cinnamon Crunch Cereal Makes 5-7 servings

Ingredients: ½ cup ground flax seeds / 50g 1 ½ cups / 150g blanched almond flour 1½ Tbsp. cinnamon ¼ tsp. fine sea salt ¼ cup / 35g coconut sugar ¼ cup / 60ml – ½ cup / 125ml applesauce (½ cup / 125ml if using buckwheat flour) 1 Tbsp. coconut oil, melted optional: ½ cup / 85g buckwheat flour

Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 325°F/160°C.

2. Combine the ground flax seeds, almond flour, cinnamon, salt, and sugar in a large mixing bowl. Stir well. Then add the desired amount of applesauce and coconut oil, and stir to fully incorporate (you made need to use your hands if it gets too dry). Gather dough into a rough ball.

3. Place dough ball on a sheet of baking paper with another sheet on top. Using a rolling pin, roll the dough as evenly as possible, about 2mm thickness (not quite paper thin). If you’re using buckwheat flour, you’ll need to separate the dough into two batches to achieve this. Remove top sheet of baking paper, and using a paring knife, score the dough into small squares of your desired size (mine were about 1.5cm / .5” square).

4. Place in the oven to bake for about approximately 25 minutes until turning golden around the edges, then turn the oven off and let the cereal sit in there until cool (this will help dry it out and make them extra crisp).

5. Once the cereal is completely cool, break up the pieces into squares and place in an airtight glass container. Store for up to one month at room temperature.

Super Creamy Hemp Milk Makes 1 liter / 1 quart

Ingredients: scant 4 cups / 1 liter water ¾ cup hulled hemp seeds / hemp hearts

Totally optional add-ins: sweetener (stevia, dates, honey, maple syrup…) vanilla sea salt raw cacao powder

Directions: 1. Place all ingredients in the blender and blend on high until smooth (this make take a couple minutes). 2. Pour directly into a sterilized bottle and store in the fridge for up to 5 days.

Initially, I was really afraid to come out about any of this stuff – the changes my diet is undergoing, the orthorexia, the internal voices! But I know in my gut that if I’m going through it, someone else out there is too. And the reason I wanted to start My New Roots in the first place was to create a safe space for everyone to share and support each other on our health journeys, so I have to be as transparent and honest as I feel I can be to set that example. I want to say a huge heartfelt thank-you to all of you who have stood by me all of these years and continue to do so. It feels pretty amazing to have you, and to be getting better all together.

In light and gratitude, Sarah B.

*****

Also… There’s one spot left for the upcoming retreat in Ibiza, click here to join me for a week of total inspiration and rejuvenation!

Source: https://www.mynewroots.org/site/2017/08/cinnamon-crunch-cereal-hemp-milk/