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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 3 months ago

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Life update, and unlike some of them, this one is positive, so does feel like horrible oversharing that I feel bad for posting and will delete within a day (I mean, it's still technically oversharing, but it's not complaining about my life this time, just describing it). I performed comedy last night, I had a good time, here's the story of that if anyone wants to know about it.

I performed stand-up last night for the first time in months. I know exactly how long it's been, because the last time I performed was on Valentine's Day. A show that I didn't realize until I got there would be Valentine's Day themed until I got there, and everyone before me did romance-based jokes, and I didn't have any of those, so I did an awkward little speech about how I won't be doing any jokes about my love life because I've not been performing for long so I don't have a big enough joke repertoire to be able to pick some out based on a theme and also because I don't have a love life, which got too big a laugh, to be honest, for such a cheap joke. I was slightly annoyed with myself for getting a laugh at that; jokes based on "Being single is terrible, let me be self-deprecating about how little sex I have" annoy me because I think not having sex is fine, so I didn't love that I accidentally made one of those while simply reporting an accurate fact about my life. But I did know when I said it that it would get a laugh because those "Isn't it terrible being single?" jokes always get a laugh, and it always annoys me.

Anyway. What was I talking about again? Not that weird set I did on Valentine's Day, this post wasn't meant to be about that. The guy who runs a different night saw me on that show and told me I was good and gave me a spot on his night a few weeks later, but I had to pull out because I got severe stomach flu, and then I just didn't sign up for any more. I got stressed at work, I got busy. I had to listen to a lot of white men talk to each other in British radio studios in 2014, okay? There was a lot going on.

Around July I started going out to watch local comedy a bunch of times again, didn't put my name in to perform, just wanted to get re-used to it. I went to the UK for a couple of weeks, and last week, when I was back, I went to watch this local night again. Got asked every time if I want to put my name in - they have this system where 6 or 7 comics will be booked beforehand to perform in a certain order, but there will be 1 or 2 spots left blank for anyone who wants to turn up and put their name in a draw for a chance to perform. Last year I performed a few times on those blank spots (I have a remarkably good track record with getting my name picked nearly every time I put it in the draw, even when there are a bunch of names in there), and a few times when I was actually booked, based on requesting spots and having those spots granted by producers who saw and liked me on those other performances. "Producers" is definitely too strong a word, they're just people who weekly or monthly run open mic nights at local pubs where 8 or 9 comedians do 6-minute spots and no one pays to see it and no one gets paid to do it and they run it all from a Facebook group.

We do have a few actual comedy clubs in the city too, I performed at the amateur night of one of them exactly once, it went very well but was also terrifying and I've not tried again. I've been to them as an audience member lots during the past 15 years or so (my brother's been performing stand-up since we were teenagers and I used to go watch him a lot), but not much in recent years, because why would I pay to see comics do the same material that they work out at open mic nights for free? Except when John Hastings was in town earlier this summer and I went to see him headline a club two weekends in a row, and he was great. The local club that he headlined is one that he called, on the ComCom podcast, "The Jongleurs of Canada" - he didn't mean it as a compliment. Hearing John Hastings call it that immediately made me understand 1) exactly what comedians mean when they refer to "Jongleurs" as a shorthand for a certain type of comedy, and 2) how comedians from outside our local scene would see that particular club, which isn't particularly different from the other two clubs in our city, which tells you something about our local comedy in general.

Anyway. I also did not mean for this post to be about John Hastings' ComCom interviews, even though there are two of those and they're both interesting. I think I went so long without trying to perform again because I got nervous about the fact that I'm supposed to be developing my set. The first time I ever performed, about 13 months ago now, I was absolutely terrified and expected zero laughs, so when I got some laughs, I was delighted. Then I refined a few things, and performed the same material but put together better, and it worked again. I did that a couple more times, and one time it didn't really work, and I figured I'm supposed to be adding stuff. That initial set was basically one story that I told across six minutes, and there was a bunch of padding to get to the six minutes - I didn't add much filler on purpose, but there were definitely lines that didn't need to be there. I know it would be shocking to anyone who reads my blog that sometimes I'm not all that concise.

So I edited it down, pulled the punchlines closer together, took out the bits that didn't get laughs, and got my 6-minute story down to about 3.5. And then I decided to take the massive step of adding: a second bit. And I'm joking when I call that a massive step, but it actually scared the hell out of me at the time, because I knew my one story was funny, but maybe I just happen to only know one funny story, and if I try anything else it'll be terrible. But I tried it, doing a 2.5-minute thing before going into my now-3.5-minute original story, and they both worked! In fact, my 2.5-minute new routine got an even better reaction than the original story. Success! This was all last fall across a few open mic pub nights, I then signed up for the comedy club amateur night in November, performed my two-routine set there, and actually got the best reaction yet. I had a great time.

Then I didn't perform for about 4 months, because I got anxious about where to go with it from there. I went out to watch a few nights, including that weird Valentine's Day where I put my name in for a blank spot, got picked from the draw and called up, did the awkward love life joke before stumbling through my regular set and messing it up a bit as I'd not really prepared, but still apparently did well enough for the producer to book me on another night. Which I was excited about, getting back into it, but then I threw up for about 36 hours straight and cancelled and didn't go back for months.

Again, I knew I should try something at least slightly different when I go back, but was scared of adding something completely new. So what I was suddenly inspired to do this week was re-write my original story in a way that it could be a, as I think they might say in showbusiness, "tight six". I added several new bits to that same story, ones that added some new jokes while also, I hoped, clarifying some parts of the story that I thought didn't fully make sense. That story that was originally 6 minutes with filler, then I cut the filler to make it 3.5, I had it back up to 6 with, I hoped, better stuff and not filler. I left out my second bit entirely.

But that new version of the story does sort of open it up a bit, so if I had more time, I could probably fit my "second bit" into the middle of it, rather than awkwardly doing one routine and then transitioning to a completely separate one. I can see a way I could do that, make everything I've said before all part of one cohesive thing. So I think, at this point, I probably have ten minutes of material that are sort of tested and sort of all right. I might be able to fill a ten-minute spot, if I tried for one of those sometime, after getting more experience at the much more common and easier to get 6-minute ones.

Last night I turned up at my favourite of the local open mic pub nights. It's the first one I went to, last spring, when I decided it's silly that I'm such a huge comedy fan and there is comedy in my own city (which I know full well, as my brother performs professionally) and I never go see it. It's conveniently about a 20-minute walk from my house, it's run by two guys whom I like and who seem to like me, and it regularly gets a small crowd, but a crowd of people who aren't just other comedians, so that's nice.

I got there last night, half an hour before start time as usual, and was surprised to see the whole room full of audience members, aside from a few tables that were reserved. Normally the place is nearly empty at that time. I awkwardly looked around and nearly left, but one of the guys who runs it told me to just hang out in the "comedian holding pen" at the back, so I did that, and felt fairly cool. I normally sit in the audience for any show where I'm not booked, even if I've put my name in the draw, and hang out in the holding pen only if my name is actually on the bill. Lots of comedians hang out in the holding pen even when they're not performing that night, but I'm not really a comedian, just someone who's done a few open spots, and I'm not actually friends with the comedians, so I feel weird about doing that. However, I did feel fairly cool and like an actual comic when the guy told me to just hang out with the comedians since the audience area was full.

I put my name in for the blank spot, because I had finally done all this re-writing to add some stuff to my story, and I'd spent time rehearsing it to make sure I could remember the thing I hadn't performed in months, and I felt fairly prepared. There were about eight names in the draw for two spots, but I still spent the whole evening reading my notes and rehearsing in my head and getting anxious as though I would definitely be performing, because, like I said, I have a weirdly good track record of getting in nearly every time I try for that. And, unsurprisingly, my name got drawn for the second blank spot.

And oh my God, guys, it went so well! I mean, I'm not saying, like, "I completely killed it". But it was quite good. The things that got laughs last year, got laughs again. And the new things also got laughs. There wasn't a single point when I said something that I'd thought of as a punchline, or a point that might be funny, and it didn't get at least a little chuckle. A few points got a smaller laugh than I'd thought they might, but those were outnumbered by the parts that got a notably bigger laugh than I was expecting. I did overrun slightly, came in at 6 minutes and 22 seconds, largely because when I timed it to 6 minutes at home, I factored in shorter pauses for laughter than what I ended up getting. But I think it's all right, I'm pretty sure an overrun by under 30 seconds isn't a huge deal. I'd still love to try ten minutes someday, add my "second bit" into that and be able to take my time more. There were a few points where I think I could have made it funnier by pausing a bit, but I didn't because I was worried about overrunning. But there were also some bits where I stumbled or repeated myself necessarily because I hadn't performed in a while, and being better rehearsed could clean that up and cut the time down a little bit.

It was just such a relief to do it again, be reminded that it does work, and try some stuff I'd not said before and have that work too, as further proof that I can keep coming up with new ideas and sometimes they'll be funny. I mean, it was still all part of the same story. I can't help but want to format things that way. The comedians here don't usually do that, stay on one topic for more than a couple of minutes. But I like to. I've been brought to comedy via too many Edinburgh hours, I can't help but envision my set, in my mind, as a mini one of those. I haven't got a themed, structured hour, but I can do a themed, structured six minutes. I think I could do a fairly well-structured ten, if I got the opportunity. My new lines even added what I think is a pretty decent callback, for a six-minute set. Not sure you can call it much of a callback when the whole thing is only six minutes, but I liked it.

After the show, a woman in the comedian's holding pen told me she'd liked my set a lot. She's performed earlier on the bill, and I told her I liked her a lot too, which was mostly true. In that I'd quite liked what I'd heard of her set, which wasn't all that much, because I was busy reading my own notes and rehearsing my own set in my head. But I liked her jokes. I'd never seen her before, and I do remember at some point being surprised at how good her material was, for some I didn't recognize, so she was presumably new.

We got talking, and she told me she was new to comedy but had been doing theatre professionally for years, and recently got into comedy because she was at the Edinburgh Festival last year and saw how comedy there can be a vehicle for cool theatre-like performances, so she wanted to try that out too. Which immediately explained why I'd never seen her before, and yet she seemed quite good at it. Like when someone you've never heard of shows up to a wrestling tournament and is very good, and you don't know why until you find out they were a champion in judo or some other martial art, and they're new to wrestling but all the skills transfer. I realize I used the proverbial "you" a lot in that sentence, for something so entirely unrelatable to almost the entire population. But it's like that.

Anyway, she was so cool and I kind of want to be her new friend. I told her I just go back from the Edinburgh Festival, she said she couldn't go this year but loved that I went, we talked for a bit about how fucking cool it is to just walk around Edinburgh and see all the posters and all the different stuff going on. We talked about the way they do comedy at the Edinburgh Festival, the way comedy there gets reviewed not just on jokes but on structure and coherence and message, and you don't see any of that here, and she told me that stuff is why she liked my set so much, that it reminded her of that other model, which is pretty much the highest compliment I could possibly get.

She also told me that she's close friends with, and used to live with in Edinburgh, a UK-based comedian whose Edinburgh hour I watched just a few days ago, as it streamed on NextUp. I also described that comedy hour in a Tumblr post, in which I opened the description with "I hated this" and then went on for a few sentences elaborating on why I hated it so much, which I now feel slightly guitly about. I mean, it was genuinely one of the very worst stand-up comedy hours I've ever seen, but I was pretty careful not to mention that when talking to her good friend, and that was a reminder that these are real people. I usually don't even do that - normally, if I hear a stand-up hour I don't like, I just don't mention it on Tumblr. I made an exception for that one, and now I feel bad, because her friend was so nice. Also, that's still pretty cool. It doesn't matter how much I disliked the comedy, I was still pretty impressed to realize I was chatting with someone who used to live with a comedian I just watched stream her Edinburgh hour on NextUp.

So that was great, we had a good time and then added each other on Facebook. While we were chatting, a few audience members stopped on their way out to tell me I was funny, and one even asked if she can add me on Instagram to follow more of my comedy. I said I don't have Instagram, and that was the first time in my life that I've ever had the thought, however brief - "Should I get Instagram?" No, obviously I should not get Instagram. Aside from anything else, I do not perform comedy nearly enough to have things to put on Instagram. But I have to admit I quite liked hearing that someone thought I was enough of a comedian to do that.

On the way out, while I was waiting to pay, an older guy came in to talk to the guy who produces the show. We were both standing and awkwardly waiting together, while the last audience member left, and told me on her way by that she'd liked my set. The older guy asked me if I'm a comedian and I said "sort of", and the guy who produces the show said yes I am a comedian. I happen to like that producer guy a lot but had not really talked to him before (besides brief "hellos"), so I was very pleased about that. The producer guy then told me that my set was great tonight and I really have potential, and that was so cool. And then, high on the adrenaline of all that, I stopped before leaving to very awkwardly tell him "I have hugely enjoyed every time I've seen you perform, often more than anyone else on the bill, and thought the set you did tonight was the best I'd seen you do, you are very good at this." A thing I had been thinking for about a year, but not previously said, because I don't know him, and you know, social anxiety. But he seemed pleased, if somewhat surprised at my sudden directness, so that's nice, and I'm glad he likes me because he runs my favourite open mic night that I'm hoping will give me spots if I start requesting them again, rather than just turning up and putting my name in draws. But that's not why I said it; I genuinely think he's good at comedy, better than most people here.

So that is the story, in probably far too much detail, of what I did last night. I then went home and hung out with my roommate, and it was really good. I wrote a now-deleted fairly bleak post the other week about how that was going badly, how it was like we had nothing to say to each other now that we're not running a sports team together and he's not interested in any other stuff I do, but he and I had some talks about that this week (I did, amazingly, manage to actually communicate with the people closest to me about this problem, rather than just complain on Tumblr), and he pointed out that I usually assume he won't be interested in the stuff I do so I don't open up about it, which is fair. So last night I got home and told him all about my evening and he was happy for me, and then I told him a few things about how comedy works, and I somehow ended up showing him a Dan Rath clip on YouTube to explain the story of how I got caught up in crowd work when I saw him in Edinburgh and told that guy, truthfully, that my job is "autism therapist" (a moment that is only funny if you've seen his comedy, which is why I had to show my roommate bits of it, and I recommend that anyone reading this also go watch the clip I showed my roommate, so you too can understand how funny it is that guy asked me what I do for a living and I said "autism therapist").

Anyway, it was just nice. I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about how everything felt horribly bleak and I didn't feel socially connected to anyone, and last night things seemed pretty good, on that metric. Also I have today off work because my client's gone out of town, and it's the Friday before a long weekend so that means I get a 4-day weekend, and August is ending and the heat is finally breaking, it's still going to be hot off and on for a bit but at least we're getting into more bearable temperatures and it'll only get better from here, and honestly, after months of inescapable summer (unless you go up to Edinburgh, that was a lovely 5-day escape from the heat), I tend to forget just how much worse I feel about everything when I'm miserable due to heat, and how much better everything gets when that stops. The trade-off is that the end of unbearable heat comes at the same time as my allergies that get really bad in late summer/early fall, but even those have been fairly manageable so far. I feel pretty good right now.

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pandasmagorica · 1 year ago

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Third (?) Re-watch in progress - Bad Buddy - first 7 minutes

Okay, I'm torn between blogging this re-watch - and wanting to make sure I get this whole re-watch done before Bad Buddy disappears from YouTube. But these first 7 minutes before the opening credits are such genius that I have to blog something before settling in to watch two or three eps in a row this evening.

My review of Stay By My Side is going to have to wait a few days as well. While I enjoyed it, there is more going on in these 7 minutes than in that entire series. Okay, maybe an exaggeration. Okay, definitely an exaggeration. But that series didn't send me running directly to Tumblr's Create button and these first 7 minutes did.

All of this is from Episode 1 [1/4], before the credits:

1:09 Okay, I didn't know yet (on first watch) that this is one of the two mains (and that Wai isn't), but, damn, Pat (unnamed as yet, unless Korn said it in Thai and it got subbed as an English pronoun as often happens in Thai series) looks like a tough guy. We learn later about him having to sleep with his Nong Nao doll and otherwise being a softie, but he does have this tough side as well.

1:59-2:23 Love the audio in this series. Watch what they do with the sound: dramatic classical music as Pran opens and arranges his drawing kit, until his friend interrupts him and we get the sound of a phonograph arm scraping across vinyl then just the dialog. (Would the main audience for this series even know that sound I know all too well?)

2:33-2:42 But when Pran hears it's Wai in the fight, suddenly we hear a heavily distorted metal guitar riff which continues until Pran takes the first earbud out at which point it suddenly cuts off. Hmm, technically I'd consider that an edit error. I'd expect the volume to drop when he takes the first one out and cut off when he takes the other out. But that's a nitpick. Audio-wise, it's a great choice.

2:41-2:45 We actually saw a glimpse of Pran's OCD starting at 1:59 when he was neatly arranging his drawing kit, but now we really see it as, despite being under time pressure, he takes out his earbuds and carefully stows them. (Earbuds will play an important role in the first few episodes.)

2:50-3:57 This fight is so chaotic and disorganized. This is where my bestie decided she had no interest in this series, although I did eventually convince her to watch episode 5 [1/4], [2/4], and [4/4]. Also thinking about how I didn't know at first watch that Ohm is skilled in martial arts. Don't know about any of the other actors but hope they had a good fight coach to keep them safe.

3:24-3:29 Funny to think the actor playing Wai is a doctor in real life.

4:13-4:17 And suddenly everything comes to a stop when Pat and Pran see each other face to face.

4:18-5:54 For all the Tumblr discussion in which the first 4 episodes are seen as being primarily from Pran's point of view, then episode 5 being Pat's, it's an interesting choice to start their introduction as being the main characters with Pat's view of Pran. Interleaving the shots of their life now with shots of their life in grade school and high school establishes immediately that they have a long history, as well as their history of competition and their parents' clashes.

5:54 Bringing the focus back to the two of them as main characters.

5:55-7:00 And continuing the introduction.

6:11-6:14 Lol at the Buddhist monks eye-rolling at the mothers' competition.

7:00-7:11 And now the fight is Pat and Pran one-on-one. And we go to the opening credits.

Whew! Can I just say the editors are brilliant? Not one wasted second.

I don't get reaction videos and have no interest in watching them. But I guess there is something to be said about being able to share my reaction to each moment.

Okay, I'm going to have to lock my keyboard while I watch this. Going back to moment zero so I can watch this uninterrupted.

#thai ql #yaoi #thai bl #bbs #bad buddy series

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kit-teung · 1 year ago

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bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme ):)

template by @fiercynn, tagged by @hereforlou! this is exciting, thank you so much for tagging me <3

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

i'm (na)tasha, a freelance artist from eastern europe, i really love mountains, lemons, teal colour and when it's hot as hell outside. you might know me from c-drama/novel fandoms - that's what i mostly draw on my main blog (which i'm being weirdly secretive about, but if you want to know the url you can message me about it off anon)

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

episode 5 was trending on here and a mutual who abandoned tumblr almost completely suddenly came back to reblog like 15 rooftop kiss gifsets in a row, scream in tags and then disappear again which made me go huh. what's all this then. lemme check out the first episode. and then by the time episode 6 aired a few days later i'd been already all caught up (can't remember exactly but since i have a tendency towards binge-watching i have a suspicion i watched all five episodes nearly in one sitting). for some personal reasons i'd rather not get into i never got a chance to create anything back then when it was airing and after, and so here i am finally joining the fandom more than a year later!

favorite ship(s)

(apart from the obvious) 📢📢📢TONGYOD📢📢📢 !!! also i was never big on crossover ships but then our skyy 2 happened and altered my brain chemistry

favorite character(s)

sometimes it's pran, sometimes it's pat. i don't control the part of my brain that decides which one of them to hyperfixate on out of the blue

favorite episode(s)

(again, apart from the obvious) i really love episodes 2-4 where they get to reunite and just hang out with each other. i love you bus stop shenanigans. also episode 11 because i'm a sucker for beach episodes, especially when they are mellow and bittersweet

favorite scene(s)

episode 8 balcony scene my beloved. inkpa darkroom confession scene and the way love's voice was trembling as she was on the verge of crying. also that bit in episode 11 where pat wakes up alone, goes out and sees pran playing the guitar outside and pran turns to greet him and SMILES SO SO BIG ugh my heart is doing somersaults as i'm typing this

one thing you would change about the show if you could

put pat in crop tops. cmon

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

any of the artworks by @thatgothsamurai, but especially this one

any of the artworks by @shikanji, but especially this one

any of the artworks by @hereforlou, but especially this one

any of the artworks by @kornswasianguyswag, but especially this one

this fanvid, the best fanvid ever that i've accidentally stumbled upon when searching up "bad buddy same page" (i think i was looking for the mock trailer lol)

this fic by @oldlace

this fic by @aroceu

and a special shoutout to all the wonderful gifmakers and meta writers, you guys are the real mvps <3

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

well, i haven't drawn much bbs fanart yet, but from the ones i've done so far i especially love this inkpa

also pls look at this korn i drew in the bbs discord server

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

does same page count if it technically wasn't in the show ah no wait pat sang it in episode 12 damn it ok this one i guess

youtube

idk anything else you want us to know?

this show's name in my native language is a pun that i can't explain

unfortunately i don't really know anyone in this fandom yet (unless.. @aroceu have you done this thing?), so i'm not tagging anyone, but if you're reading this and you really want to do this, you can say i tagged you!

#bad buddy

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seradyn · 2 years ago

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15 questions

I got tagged by @blossom-adventures to answer some questions, so here you go :)

I’ll tag @ticklemycucumber @sillylittlevulpine and @broteinshake69 if they’d like to do it too 💕

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope, my name was a spur of the moment thing. I was meant to have a different name. When my mom gave birth to me, she saw me and said “That looks like a Serafina” (yes that’s my real name and I don’t mind sharing :)) A similar thing happened with my sister, who also has an S name.

2. When was the last time you cried? It was either Tuesday or Wednesday night. I got hit with a very intense depressive episode, and ended up crying myself to sleep.

3. Do you have kids? In this America? Not a chance. I’m hoping to get a hysterectomy at some point soon too, so none of that for me.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I used to, but not as much anymore. I’ve learned it can be hard to tell when people are being sarcastic or not, so I don’t do it unless it’s extremely obvious.

5. What sports do you/have you played? I’m not an athletic person, but I was on my high school’s Dragon Boat team. I loved it, and I wish there was something at University like it. We have a rowing team, but it’s not the same. The city I grew up in has a big river flowing through it, so we got to spend an hour on the water rowing through downtown. We also participated in a festival that the city holds every year, doing dragon boat races. It was so fun, and we even won gold one year. I still have the medal.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Probably their style of speech, the way they talk. I use it to gauge what kind of person they are, and how I should act around them.

7. Eye color? Blue.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Both. Both is good. I’m a big horror person, my favorite movie is 1979 Alien, followed closely by the 1986 sequel, Aliens. My Dad and I have bonded over watching horror movies together, we’ve watched The Shining, The Exorcist, and other classic horror films. The Shining is also quite excellent, and it was filmed in my home state.

9. Any special talents? I used to draw, but I don’t do it so much anymore. Writing is more my speed now, and I’ve been doing it since middle school. That 186 page book me and my friend wrote will never see the light of day, though 😂

10. Where were you born? Oregon, USA.

11. What are your hobbies? Gaming, reading, writing, music. You can almost always find me engaging in one of these.

12. Do you have any pets? She’s not technically mine, but my roommate’s cat, Peaches, acts like I’m her human 😂 Recently she’s really embraced being a lap cat, and she screams all the time. I love her little meows

Cat tax:

13. How tall are you? 5’4”

14. Favorite subject in school? Japanese

15. Dream job? I absolutely despise this term. I do not dream of labor, of being a corporate slave. However, I’m hoping to someday move to Japan and become a citizen, either teaching English, or working with business executives to translate between English and Japanese companies.

#asks #get to know me

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whoiskt · 2 years ago

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2022 draws to a close... it is time now... the questions...

1: What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?

WENT TO THE OCEAN!!! BABEY WE FINALLY MADE IT!

Also wrote a TV pilot script which has altered the course of my future in ways that are yet to be determined....

I did some other things, of course, but nothing as big as those. Like, I went to the renaissance faire, and tried hot pot, poisoned myself with mold. Just a tastes of some firsts.

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I made... so many. It was too much.

Read 10 books--- Yeah, I technically have started and failed to complete many books. This does include Dracula -_- I’m so bad at finishing things. I’m trying to finish one before New Years.

Go to an event I wouldn’t normally attend--- I mean, I did go to the ren faire... so I want to count this.

Run a mile in less than 12 minutes outdoors--- I didn’t try lmao once it was warm enough to run outdoors I had completely forgotten.

Apply for at least 4 jobs a week----

I was trying to film a second a day too and that ended in... February.

Yeah, anyways, I don’t know. I got to be more reasonable.

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nay! Least you count all the girlies at work.

4: Did anyone close to you die?

Nay!

5: What countries did you visit?

I’m still working on that ok?

6: What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

Watch as KT chooses “career” for the fourth year in a row... Honestly, no. I’m going to say a feeling of community. That’s what I really want.

7: What dates from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I will probably forget everything. I still remember the queen died on the 8th of September. I don’t know why I remember that but I doubt it will last.

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Writing the script. I mean, it has changed a bit, and will continue to, but it was a big step in this journey I’m on. And as you know, I rarely finish things I start, so this was a big deal. Even if it never sees the light of day.

I read it to my family at Christmas and my oldest bro-in-law told me to keep making it because he likes it.... HUGE compliment coming from him.

I have also written the outlines for several other episodes for this not-real TV show of mine. I think I’m up to 5 outlines, in addition to the script. So, yeah. Even if it never gets to TV I might make it into a webcomic. Like, I'll make a pact that if I haven't gotten it made by the time I'm 30, I'll start making it into a webcomic instead.

Plus, I’ve been working a lot on my portfolio. I need to finish that up in January and then I’ll be applying for grad school! Scary but exciting.

9: What was your biggest failure?

My biggest failure of the year was probably whenever I applied and interviewed for that broadcasting job. I was really bummed that I didn’t get the job because of the following reasons:

1) It was “the perfect” job for me, I was perfectly qualified and it was in the perfect place, as close as I could get to my “dream job” without leaving the state.

2) There was three (3!) openings. The odds should have been in my favor

3) I knew someone who was already working there. Just embarrassing to me like, ok, so he knows I didn’t get the position. We went to school together our resumes were VERY similar ya know? How did I not get it?

But my biggest failure did lead me to self-reflect. The job search the last few years has been so hard. Getting this rejection was a very big “I can’t do this anymore” moment, so I was thinking, what has brought me satisfaction in all this? The answer was the TV show I write in my notes app.

And because I believe in that enough, I guess I’m going to go do that now instead. Either way, it’s been really fucking nice since then to have just completely given up on the job search. Just so nice.

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes, first I was sick... idk some time in Spring. Then I drank mold and became poisoned that way, so that was fun. And this last week I’ve had a stomach bug so wooo! I look forward to being well again.

11: What was the best thing you bought?

I bought the new tablet. It is really nice. But it would really only be useable thanks to Will, letting me borrow his computer all the time these days.

12: Whose behavior merited celebration?

I respect all my friends for their behavior and growth or dealing with challenges. It was tough ages 18-24 dealing with losing friends, but now the people I choose to surround myself never worry me, or shock me, or even come close to disgusting me. That’s not something I could have said when I was younger (sadly). But now all my friends are super solid and I am proud to know them.

13: Whose behavior made you appalled?

I don’t know... sometimes my coworkers do stuff but I wouldn’t call it outright appalling? At worst it’s petty drama or bootlicking. But I’m very good at leaving things at work so I don’t care.

14: Where did most of your money go?

They keep increasing the gd rent grrrrr

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The ocean and the beach and the accompanying aura was really cool. I was so excited in general for summer and warm weather, which I think I’m just thinking about because I want it really bad right now.

Chainsaw Man anime! It’s been great showing it to Will, now he knows who tf I’m talking about.

16: What song will always remind you of 2022?

I really don’t listen to pop songs anymore but on our drive to the east coast we discovered Brick + Motar which has become a staple in our home, so pretty much all their songs.

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?

I’m probably in all ways about the same. This is what I talk about when I say all the last few years have been a blur because things really don’t get better or worse they just stay the same.

18: What do you wish you’d done more of?

Focusing on finishing things I started. Running theme here, I know, lmao

19: What do you wish you’d done less of?

Play stupid little games on my phone. I seriously get addicted to these things.

20: How did you spend Christmas?

Went home. It was really brief this year. I'll make sure my visit next year is an extended stay.

21: Did you fall in love in 2022?

Never stopped.

22: What was your favorite TV program?

Some things I enjoyed this year: Severance, What We Do in the Shadows, Arcane, Chainsaw Man, Spy x Family, Jojo Part 6, Bee and Puppycat: Lazy in Space, Fringe, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Gravity Falls, and many docs.

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nah.

24: What was the best book you read?

I have been and should be finished reading “The Song of Achilles” soon. I enjoy it because before I played Hades, and as a former greek mythology kid, I hadn’t heard of Patroclus, and I enjoy learning more about him..

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?

I did a lot of musical discovery this year. Like, more than usual, probably not a lot compared to most people. First off, I discovered Of Montreal (not from Montreal sus) TV on the Radio, and of course my Spotify top song of the year: “Heart It Races” by Architecture in Helsinki (I have yet to listen to a single other song of theirs because I just know nothing can top this).

Will discovered Brick + Mortar, and Fish in a Birdcage, which I have coveted.

I have also enjoyed That Handsome Devil and Spoon. Although there is more diving to do with them.

26: What did you want and get?

New drawing tablet.

27: What did you want and not get?

New laptop. My tastes are just too expensive and so I ended up using the money for other things.

28: What was your favorite film of this year?

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE!

29: What one thing that made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Writing things for myself and then reading them off to Will. Oh, yeah, my TV show has a fan! Just greenlight me baby!

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Visions from higher powers. But mostly I don’t wear pants at home. I’m not wearing pants as I write this.

31: What kept you sane?

Socializing. Going outside. Going for walks. Music. My notes app.

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I don’t care about celebrities but I do care about Aki Hayakawa.

33: What political issue stirred you the most?

I lost rights this year so..... oof.

34: Who did you miss?

My kitty cat.

35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022.

I learned not to compromise on quality of life? Life is filled with dreams. You gotta follow the string of satisfaction.

It’s easy to get caught up in a stream of “well I have to do this, and then that, and then I’ll be happy.” Which is pretty much how I have lived my life up to this point. I went to college because I thought it was a step to happiness. I wasn’t happy while doing it. I should have done something else, I think. It was unhappy times.

Like, I don’t really like my job, it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, or even a year more, but it’s something I can do now, while pursuing other things that DO satisfy me... and THAT’S the satisfaction I have in my life. Before, it was just a step while I waited for something better. But I realize that’s not a good way to live life.

36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

#lifeblogging #Tl;dr of this is that I wrote a script and didn't read any books lmaooo #year in review

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sweeterthanmydreams · 1 year ago

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I've failed my Concentration check with a solid natural 1 so I'm going to focus on something else for now so I don't just waste the day avoiding a task. I'm thinking either OC babies (canon versions of characters at 5-6 years old), OC vacations (four OCs go on a seasonal vacation together), the Mad Science meme (four OCs are combined to make a fifth), or attempting a speed drawing of an alphabet of 26 OCs in a simple chibi style I'm trying to perfect.

If you'd like to see anyone specific for OC Babies, or a specific vacation/character for Seasonal Vacations, or a specific character/group for the Mad Science Meme, or a character you'd like to see represented in the Alphabet Chibis just send in an ask or comment with the bolded phrase & the character(s) name.

Below the cut are the groupings for the vacations & the Mad Science meme if you're curious what the full set is supposed to look like in the end.

Left is groupings for the Mad Science Meme; the scribbles are just notes to myself. The tl;dr of group choices is that I sorted them based on their character symbols, putting together four symbols and making a group name/theme that encompassed them all. (So letter + stamp + book + tea cup became Private Library, written here as Bingo Night). I've already finished R.I.P, Bingo Night, Hatsune Miku, Secret Garden, and Lisa Frank but any other requests are valid.

Right is groupings for the Seasonal Vacations; they're broken up by seasons so the first two rows are summer, the next two rows are fall, then winter, and then spring. They get relevant costumes & a four character illustration with a background.

Below is a grid of who I have/haven't done already for OC Babies. Technically this/pinned is also a reference if you have opinions on who should be featured in the Alphabet Chibis line-up; OCs you know of that aren't listed are also valid options. The unlabeled ones are named in the image description.

#taffy rambles #WIP #my art #oc #too lazy to tag further #Gonna pretend the alphabet doesn't have a Q or an X until I absolutely have to.

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silverskye13 · 2 years ago

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Hello! I adore all your work to bits and have ever since about when you first posted chapter 43 of Casting Rain- and now I've found out that you're into my latest hyperfixation, Hermitcraft! Happy days! If I may ask, what got you into the fandom? What hermits- if any- do you prefer to watch?

I got into it (technically) through Sad-1st I think! I was into Hollow Knight at some point, and found Sad-1st's animations and artwork for it. Then they moved on to DSMP, and at first I couldn't follow that at all [Minecraft RP? That dramatic? That's a little cringe isn't it?] So I started watching Minecraft Manhunt instead. Then I saw the Techno vs Dream fight, started watching Techno. Got into DSMP via Techno's POV [I only ever made 1 or 2 fanarts for it. It was a very blink-and-you'll-miss-it fandom for me]. Then I was talking to some friends about getting into MCYT, to which one of them was like "HAVE YOU HEARD OF HERMITCRAFT."

I started watching Grian's S6, moved on to Grian and Scar's S7. By S8 I was watching Grian, Scar, Cub, Docm77, Rendog, Pearl, Impulse, and Mumbo.

[squints]

Yeah that seems right.

Watched everyone's finales.

Got obsessively into the Life!Series for a bit there, especially Etho.

Went through a period in S9 where I watched everyone's POV, because I watch a lot of videos while I'm drawing/filing paperwork at work and kept running out of stuff to watch. Got exasperated when the videos couldn't keep up with my consumption rate. Stopped watching so HC could catch up and I could binge it all later. At some point in time did the same thing for EmpiresSMP.

Now if YouTube suggests me a video I watch it and if it doesn't I just.... Wait. Until there's 3 or 4 videos I can watch in a row. Except for Etho, Fwhip and Joel, who I watch immediately.

Barely related but there's a MCYT JWhisp who I've also been watching since I first got into Minecraft Manhunt, who accidentally gave me my first impression of Fwhip, because I misspelled JWhisp's name once and got brought to a Fwhip Empires video instead, then got really affronted when I realized it was the wrong person. It's kinda funny to me that I ended up liking Empires as much as I did, about 6 months later, given my first brush with Fwhip was basically, "Who is this?? What the heck??"

Anyway all that to say I watch.... All of them pretty regularly. My preferences lie with Etho, Doc and BDubs right now I think? They're the ones I most reliably watch as soon as an episode comes out.

#answering asks #archtypal-archivist #Jwisp beloved i wish youd join an SMP i think thatd be fun and cool and rad #i also watch Koolani? Kalani? whenever he mades a video #if you ever wanna see exponential growth in MC building watch his series

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langet-archive · 3 years ago

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[ID: two digital drawings of me, the op, a mixed chamorro person. i have curly shoulder-length brown hair in an undercut, tan skin, brown eyes, and glasses. in the first drawing i am facing the left, hair down and partially covering the right (to the viewer) side of my face, smiling and looking up. im wearing a grey cowl sweatshirt with a brown leather jacket over it. beside it is a smaller drawing of me with my hair up in a ponytail, wearing a turquoise turtleneck, facing right and looking down to the left with a neutral expression. handwritten text below reads "halomtano'!" in all caps, "måtso hå'åni 1 ya 2" below it. around the drawings are notes- one saying "line weight!" and pointing to the side of my face, another saying "curves." underlined 3 times pointing to both my hair and cheek, and one between the two drawings that says "i default to curly hair." there is a row of 6 hearts with the colors used in the drawings in the bottom right, and the background is a lighter blue. /end id]

biba måtso, biba mes CHamoru!

not only is it mARTch, it is also CHamoru month! i combined days 1 and 2 for this one technically. the most important building blocks for my style are basically line weight variation, curves, curves again, curves one more time, and shapes for good measure. rough brushes also helps. also i have a chronic problem with only designing characters with curly hair.

im really proud of being CHamoru and obviously during our heritage month ive got to incorporate that into mARTch and spread inafa'maolek, so you can expect a lot more CHamoru themes in my upcoming pieces for this challenge ^^ today its just me myself & i!

#indigenous art #YUS i can use that..#mARTch #mARTch 2022 #mes CHamoru #chamorro #does a little dance!!!!

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the-bau-quinjet · 4 years ago

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And I confess, babe

Part 6 of In Breakable Heaven!

Summary: Feelings are confessed... sort of.

Warnings: none

Word count: ~2400

“There’s something I haven’t been completely honest about.” You blurted out taking a break from cleaning. It had been a few months since Halloween, and you and Spencer have hung out whenever possible, but never calling anything a date. You had both gotten pretty busy with the holidays, but still made time. He is basically your best friend, but you want more than that. You just aren’t sure he feels the same way.

Spencer turned from where he was reading on the couch immediately mirroring the nervous expression he could see on your face. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything. That’s what friends are for.” Ugh, friends. This is so confusing. As he walked up to you, you thought you noticed a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but you brush it off. You need to focus.

You have never told any of your friends about this. It’s almost like you were living two lives and all the sudden you wanted them to merge. Well, really you just wanted an excuse to sing love songs to the man standing in front of you without completely freaking him out. “You know how much I love Taylor Swift, right?” You could see the confusion growing on his face

“Um, yeah. That’s not exactly a secret…” he chuckles as he searches for the truth in your eyes.

“Well, um... I kind of... well… it’s not really a big deal, but I… you see…”

“Y/N, just tell me. I promise not to freak out.” He interrupted, the confusion evident on his face.

“Okay, just… I’m inaTaylorSwiftcoverband…” You blurt, the words rushing from your mouth. You cover your face with your hands. Of course, boy genius understood the mess of a sentence you just said, realization slowly dawning on him.

“Y/N, why were you so nervous to tell me?” He sounded shocked. “You know I would support you no matter what. When’s your next show? I would love to go see you perform.” The sincerity in his voice made tears well up in your eyes.

You rushed to hug him as you said “I don’t know why I was so nervous. I guess people can be really harsh when you are a Taylor Swift fan. Nobody takes you seriously, ya know? I started the band because her music made me better at conveying my emotions. It was actually a kind of therapy for me at first, but then I fell in love with performing. I actually wanted to tell you so I could invite you, and the rest of the team, to my next show. It’s Saturday night.”

He ran his hands up and down your back before pulling away to look you in the eyes. “I will be there.” He said, matter-of-factly.

“Yay!” You were practically jumping with joy that the conversation went well. It felt kind of stupid to be so worried over other people’s perception of your music interests, but you’ve always been self-conscious of being the “weird” girl. It made even the smallest decision so hard for you. “I want you to invite the rest of the team, but keep it a surprise. I haven’t told Penelope, and I’ve known her 2 years longer than you.” He laughed as you realized how comfortable you must have felt with Spencer to be inviting him and his friends to see you perform. Usually the only way you made it through was knowing there was nobody in the audience that would recognize you enough to make fun of you. But, it was time for a change. You have always been proud of your accomplishments, and the people you called your friends should be a part of that.

“You should know there’s always a theme to the show. I like to tell a story with her songs, pulling from all the albums helps make it more cohesive.” You wanted him to be a little bit prepared for what you had planned.

“What’s the story for this show?” Spencer asked, curiosity brewing in his mind.

“Well Doc, I’m afraid that’s a secret. You’ll have to wait and see.” Spencer kept pestering you to find out the theme, but you refused to tell him. Finally, he returned to reading as you cleaned the rest of your apartment.

Saturday came much faster than you were expecting. The nerves you felt kept growing as you tried to finalize the set list you would be performing in just a few hours. The stories you usually tell don’t normally rely so heavily on your own life experiences. But, that’s why you fell in love with Taylor’s music in the first place. The songs are so relatable. It’s incredible how well she can convey emotions and stories with her lyrics. Plus, this is your chance to tell Spencer how you feel without having too much pressure. If he doesn’t say anything about the obvious theme, you could just pretend you made up the story for the audience. It would be fine. No pressure at all.

The hours until your show drifted away as you got ready and arrived at the venue. You were actually playing in an auditorium instead of a bar for the first time in a few months. The night had been heavily marketed for couples since Valentine’s day is next week, but you knew your friends would all be there to support you. Going over the set list with the band, they knew exactly what mood you were going for. It was clear there were three sections to the night: 1) the break up, drawing heavily on your experience with Drew, 2) moving on from the failed relationship as you form a new crush, possibly on an incredibly hot doctor, and 3) where you wanted this new relationship to go. That storyline is what made the marketing so good. Couples could come and just be in love, relating the music to their own lives. Plus, people were itching for something to do since no real artists were touring in DC right now.

You glance out at the audience as the lights flicker, indicating only a few minutes until show time. You find Spencer and the rest of the crew, barring Hotch and Rossi, easily as you put them in the front row. You wanted to be able to see their faces, or completely look over their heads. It all depends on the expression of the one and only Spencer Reid.

“Hello, and welcome to the show!” You try to hide the nerves. You’ve done this plenty of times, but knowing who is in the audience is taking a toll. “In case you didn’t know, with every show I do, I try to tell a story. Usually, it is based on a movie or a book, but today I am trying something a little bit new. No book, no movie, just a story. It’s got three parts to it. Part one sucks.” You laugh along with the audience. “It’s about a breakup and learning to move on. So let’s get started!”

You immediately jump into the first song Babe. Technically it features Taylor Swift, but she wrote it so it counts. Plus, it is the perfect song to describe your feelings to finding Drew cheating on you, and she did write it.

This is the last time I’ll ever call you Babe.

“Now, I know how hard it can be to get over someone who you’ve been with a long time. Especially when combined with the pain of them cheating on you. This next song describes that mentality of recognizing that someone won’t change because you want them to. Sometimes, the best thing to do is cry and scream and move on.” The instrumental to You’re Not Sorry begins to play as you calm you’re nerves.

This is the last straw. Don’t wanna hurt anymore. And you can tell me that you’re sorry, but I don’t believe you baby like I did before. You’re not sorry. No, no, no no.

“I know, I know. No more sad songs! After you break up with someone, it can be pretty hard to not miss what you had. But eventually, you’ll get to a point where when they call you in the middle of the night, all you have to say is We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. Like ever.”

You make it through the next song without a hitch. The crowd is clearly enjoying the show, which is actually helping with your nerves. You’ve glanced at your friends a few times, but nothing that lingers. You’re not quite mentally prepared to look at Spencer yet.

“With every breakup, there is some amount of time afterward where you can’t help but think about them. No matter how badly it ended, there is at least a day. It could slowly fade out or it could just disappear one day, like magic. Either way, this song is how I personally feel once that window of time ends.”

I forgot that you existed. It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it‘s just indifference.

This song really helped turn the mood around. Everybody is dancing and singing, clearly enjoying themselves. As the song ends, your nerves return a bit. This is the scary part.

“And with that, we move on to part 2! As the saying goes, the best way to get over him is to get under someone else. Well, that’s not exactly where this is going, but it follows the same general logic.” The instrumental to Enchanted has already started as you finish the intro “Meeting someone who helps take your mind off the bad by making new memories.”

All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you. This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go. I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.

This is the first song you are singing directly to Spencer, even if you can’t even look at him. You glance at every other member of the BAU, but you just can’t bring yourself to admit it to him. Not yet.

Please don’t be in love with someone else. Please don’t have somebody waiting on you.

You can feel the sting in your throat that comes from thinking of Spencer being with someone else, finally making you look at him. He seems happy. He’s not dancing as much as everyone else, but he is swaying. You count it as a win.

“Now, I’m not saying the only way to get over a breakup is a new relationship. Sometimes, you just need a friend.” You clear your throat to go right into the next song.

Wanna hang out? Yeah, sounds like fun. Video games, you pass me a note. Sleeping in tents. It’s nice to have a friend.

This is where it’s supposed to be obvious who you are singing to. None of your newly formed friends really know the extent of your relationship with Spencer. But, you’ve convinced him to try a lot of new things. It started small, with hiking, but eventually you got him to agree to a short camping trip over a long weekend. It was freezing since it was November, but you just cuddled together around the fire. That is what makes this so nerve wracking. You are terrified of messing up your friendship.

“Friends are the best resource post breakup. They always know how to put a smile on my face, no matter what I’m upset about. You could go so far as to say I’m Only Me When I’m With You.” You laugh at the corny joke, knowing that’s the next song you’re singing. “To be completely honest, this is kind of a story of the past few months of my life. I had a pretty bad breakup, but I met some new friends who really helped me through it. It’s nice to be completely honest about yourself with someone else.”

I don’t try to hide my tears, my secrets, or my deepest fears. And through it all, nobody gets me like you do.

“Now, we move onto the third and final part of the show. We’ve covered the past and the present, so all that’s left is the future! The future is unknown, which is kinda of scary when you think about it. So, it can really help to have someone who makes you feel Fearless.” So many lyrics make you want to stare at Spencer.

I wanna ask you dance right there, in the middle of the parking lot.

Run your hands through your hair, absentmindedly making me want you.

And I don’t know why, but with you I’d dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless.

You’ve decided against looking at Spencer and the rest of the profilers. If you make eye contact you know they would 100% be able to see right through you. Just two more songs to get through. You don’t even pause to talk before the next song is playing.

Cause all I know is you said, “Hello” and your eyes look like coming home.

You’ve spent so long thinking about Spencer and his perfect freaking eyes that you subconsciously glance at him right then. The second you realize, you look away again, missing the look of complete adoration on his face.

And meet me there tonight and let me know that it’s not all in my mind.

“Alrighty folks, I’ve got one more song for you. You probably could’ve guessed it by now, part 3 is about a future relationship, one I’m not currently in. But that’s the thing about the future, you never really know what it holds.” This is where shit goes a little bit sideways. You didn’t plan on changing the lyrics. Most of the profilers seem to miss it, not recognizing that you switched one very crucial word in the song. The one profiler that notices the mistake has spent the last four months listening to every Taylor Swift song ever written because he’s spent so much time with you, and you are always listening to something.

Dark jeans and your converse, look at you. Oh damn, never seen that color blue.

Oh damn is right. You somehow manage to make it through the rest of the song, but now Spencer knows you were singing to him. You can’t decide if you’re glad it’s out there or if you are going to puke the second you run off stage.

“Delicate is about the beginnings of a romance. It’s that point where you are scared any sudden movements will shatter everything you’ve built so far.” You take one final deep breathe. “It’s about admitting your feelings because you can’t move forward without taking the next step. That’s what the future is all about. Thank you all for coming, goodnight!” And with that, you left.

tag list:

@mac99martin @goldeng1rl8 @eevee0722 @l0ve-0f-my-life @haylaansmi @dinonuggets15 @laurakirsten0502 @green-intervention @burnin-passion @takeyourleap-of-faith @secretpickleprofessordean @awkwardnesshabitat @loveheathens @fan-girl-97

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds x reader #Criminal Minds

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jackalgirl · 3 years ago

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Stubbornness

Me, yesterday: Today, I am going to get all caught up with my correspondence. And I’m going to experiment with the sewing machine so I can finish the Hellvet Bag. And I might even fell down some of the hems of the linen tunic I actually sewed, with only a single drop of blood to appease the demon sewing machine, and which actually fits the Next Generation (the tunic, not the sewing machine). But first, I will knit the one part of Nikki Van De Car’s “Maile Sweater” that is actually hellaciously difficult for me, so that it is out of the way.

Me: There! Done with the sweater part and ready to move on! Why do I feel exhausted?

Me, looking at the clock, seeing that it is eight-thirty in the evening, and having accomplished absolutely nothing else: Time for bed!

TL;DR: there’s an error in the pattern plus I made some mistakes, and it took me all day to figure it out, because dammit I’m not going to let a pattern beat me like that.

I have placed the fix to the pattern, followed by the full story*, under the cut, if you like gory knitting stories.

* I’ve Suffered For My Art and Now You Will, Too...but only if you wanna. Because I absolutely hate the “shaggy dog” style of recipe or crafting instruction, where you have to endure a story before you get to the actual instruction. So I put the correction first.

First, the pattern: https://beacon.by/nikki-van-de-car/maile - it is free and adorable and is one of my two go-to patterns when I’m making jackets for friends’ freshly-sprouted or soon-to-be-sprouting sprogs.

In the Yoke section, the first part should read:

K yoke to 8 sts before marker, ssk, pm, k6, remove m. K7 from the 1st sleeve, pm, k2tog. K to 3 sts before end of sleeve, ssk, pm, k to end of sleeve. K1 stitch from back, k2tog, k to 3 sts before marker, ssk, k1, remove m, k1 st from second sleeve, pm, k2tog, k to 9 sts before end of sleeve, ssk, pm, k to end of sleeve. K6 sts from left front, pm, k2tog, k to end.

The bolded part is what’s different from Nikki’s original pattern.

When you are done with this row, you should have 203 stitches on your needles, separated into seven (7) sections:

The middle section (”center back”): 59 stitches.

The two sections on either side of this (”shoulders”): 36 stitches each.

Continuing outwards, the next two sections (”lace sections”): 13 stitches each.

Finally, the last two sections (”jacket fronts”): 23 stitches each.

The pattern’s error is that is has you place the fourth marker two stitches too early, and you end up with 57 stitches in the center back and 38 stitches in the second shoulder section.

Note: from this point onward, you will be decreasing by 8 stitches in every odd-numbered row. You will repeat lace pattern #2 a total of three times, losing 120 total stitches overall. This means when you finish the lace pattern’s row 9 for the third time, you’ll have 83 stitches on your needle (8, 13, 6, and 29 sts in the jacket front, lace, shoulder, and center back sections respectively).

The pattern tells you to stop when you have 83 stitches, but go ahead and knit a “wrong-side” button hole row, so that your jacket ends up with four (4) button holes. Then continue on as per the pattern until you are done.

The pattern doesn’t tell you you have to seam up the sleeves on the undersides, but you do. Take care to close up the hole in the armpit that is a consequence of inserting all those sleeve stitches between two adjacent jacket stitches.

Oh, look! A shaggy dog! (Abandon all hope, etc.)

The original pattern has you knit the sleeves in the flat (from the cuffs upward). Then, after you’ve knitted up the bottom part of the jacket, this first part of the Yoke section has you knit the sleeves directly into the jacket: after having knitted up the bottom part of the jacket, you knit some stitches, then knit across the first sleeves’ stitches (with some decreases thrown in), then return to the jacket stitches (so you’ve just inserted all those sleeve stitches between two adjacent stitches of the jacket, which is tough), knit across the back, add the second sleeve in the same manner, then the rest of the jacket.

You’re adding stitch markers along the way -- those sections are to allow you both to knit a section of lace on either side of the jacket’s front, but also to shape the jacket around the shoulders and neck. So the sections -- and the markers -- are really really important.

But the pattern does not have any indication of how many stitches should end up in each section. Nor does it give you an overall stitch count when you are done with that row. You finish the first part of the jacket with 119 stitches, and then you do this (IMO) technically difficult** step of knitting the sleeves directly into the jacket, with some decreases thrown in for good measure, and end up with...???

** I make it more difficult, of course, by not knitting the sleeves in the flat, so I am attaching tubes (much tension -- many strain) to the jacket instead of relatively flexible flat pieces. More on that later, if you have not given up on me by then.

I feel like this is one of those patterns by a very accomplished and exceptionally skilled knitter, who is perhaps not taking into account that lesser knitters (like myself) are bound to make mistakes, and for me (ymmv), having stitch counts are really important for keeping track of whether or not I’ve made a mistake. The lack of stitch counts isn’t a big deal, as long as you don’t make any mistakes. And this also assumes that the pattern doesn’t contain any mistakes in the first place.

The two previous times I’ve knitted this jacket, not knowing about that error in the pattern and not having a stitch count to compare, I ended up with a not-symmetrical number of stitches in the shoulders of the jacket after attaching the sleeves. I had chalked it up to a) making mistakes, as I do, and b) always getting excited to continue The Next Part and forgetting to double-check before I do so. I in each of my previous two jackets, I ended up hiding a decrease in the second shoulder section and forging onward.

This time was no different and, naturally, I only noticed this until about five rows after, because I didn’t remember to double-check until then. Also, I’d made some mistakes, because the shaping -- although absolutely lovely when it’s done -- is arranged in such a way as to form a pattern that is not sticky for the way my brain is wired to see patterns. But this time, I remembered that this had happened the previous two times. Though I was willing to admit that I’d made mistakes again, I began to suspect that there was a problem with the pattern itself. And I was going to figure it out, by George!

I ended up breaking out the iPad and doing some drawing/counting illustrations in order to figure out what you’re supposed to have after that row of attaching the sleeves. That’s what helped me recognize the error in the pattern, and why I was ending up with unequal shoulders (in addition to my mistakes).

Rather than frog all the way back to the sleeve attachment (I did not want to go through that again), I simply frogged that little bit of the jacket between the back and the incorrectly-numbered shoulder back to the row where I attached the sleeves, and (I used double-pointed needles for this) knitted the dropped stitches back up with everything shifted over so that the dividing line ended up where it needed to be. I did the same thing to the other parts where I’d made mistakes (by forgetting to decrease where I was supposed to). That finally got me to the correct stitch count for the row I was on, with the correct number of stitches in each section.

This was much more difficult than I’m making it sound, and figuring it out took me all day (and made me cranky, for which I profusely apologized to the Better Half who, to give him credit, demonstrated the “Better” part of that moniker, for which I am very grateful).

Aunt Lorenza’s Modifications - or - Oh look! Another shaggy dog! (if you’re still with me, blessings be upon you)

As mentioned, I didn’t knit the sleeves in the flat. I knitted them using the magic loop method, on a circular needle, two-at-a-time. I did cut the yarn (Nikki recommends you not do this) after they were done, but left a decently long tail (3-4 inches, or 7-10 cm) to take care of the underarm hole.

If you want to do the sleeves this way, you will need extra equipment: five (5) US x double-pointed knitting needles, and an additional set of US x circular needles with a decently long cable (the longer, the better, but no fewer than 24″/61 cm).

Note: I say “x” because what size needle you use depends on your yarn and what size you’re shooting for. I used fingering-weight yarn and US 4 (3.5mm) needles, but you might end up using something else. Just make sure they’re all the same size.

First, knit the sleeves, using the magic loop method for circular knitting. I modified the pattern by casting on using the Chinese Waitress cast-on for the sleeves, so that the cuff would be extra stretchy.

When you are done: transfer the first sleeve to DPNs as so:

from the start of the sleeve’s round, 11 sts on the first needle, 12 sts each on the second and third needles, 11 sts on the fourth needle.

Note: This is going to help split up the strain on the tube as you’re knitting it into the jacket. It’ll be easier on your hands, your needles, and also the fabric.

Leave the second sleeve on your original needles and set aside.

Take up your second set of cable needles and knit the jacket. I used the crochet cast-on so that I would have a braided edge, taking the extra step of deliberately twisting the stitches so that it would be a twisted braid. I also added a stitch to either side (I cast on 133 sts vice 133) and slipped the first stitch of each row purlwise, knitting it on the return, so that the edges would also have a twisted braid.

In the Yoke section, when you get to the first sleeve (on its DPNs), use the fifth DPN to knit the sleeves’ stitches off of the first DPN, when then becomes your right-hand needle. Continue in this manner, knitting around the sleeve stitches, as per the pattern.

When you reach the end of the sleeve, pick up the next jacket stitch with your original (circular) needle. This part takes patience, because all these needles want to be in the way of each other and the yarn, and of course the DPNs want to slide out of the loops. So go slow for this part.

Follow the pattern until you have gotten 10 or so stitches across the back -- or until it feels relatively secure to you.

You’re now going to need to get the sleeve stitches onto your cable needle (pulling up a loop in the middle of the sleeve so that it lays flat) and free up the DPNs for the next sleeve. As soon as you get two DPNs free, stop and get the second sleeve off of the other end of the holding cable (half of the sts on one needle, half on the other). When all of the DPNs are free, set up the second sleeve as you did the first.

Continue with the yoke, adding the second sleeve as the pattern directs. Leave these DPNs in the second sleeve stitches after you have finished attaching the sleeve so that they can take up the strain.

When you are done with this row and the sleeves are on, knit your wrong-side return -- the DPNs will help you manage the strain on the fabric when you reach the sleeves. Eventually, as you keep adding rows, you’ll get far enough past the sleeves that you’ll be able to remove the DPNs and the extra cable needle. And then you can just knit as the pattern is written and you should be fine.

Enjoy!

#knitting #long post #maile jacket #nikki van de car

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hurricanery · 4 years ago

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If You Went Away - pt. 1

A/N: This story is going to be multiple parts. Inspired by this prompt, this prompt & a couple other prompts requesting Amelink fighting & Scout kind of wrapped up in the middle of it. I’m getting a lot of requests for angst and I’m down with writing angst soooo here we go- I put my own twist on it for the purpose of making it multiple chapters and it kinda ended up more depressing than I intended yikesssss. But also, I promise it gets better/more positive. I made Scout a little older in this story (age 5).

_______

Listen here, listen close

You’re the one I love the most

And if you went away

I don’t know what I’d do

_______

(one year ago)

“You should go,” Amelia mumbles, as she lays in bed, facing Link.

Link raises his eyebrows, frowning slightly. “I don’t understand,” he speaks slowly. “What changed?”

Amelia furrows her brows, perplexed. “Well nothing changed, technically, I-”

“When I was first offered this job….before Scout was even born,” Link interrupts. “We decided, together, that there were more important things in our lives.”

“Yeah….” Amelia draws out her response. “And I agreed with you then, I guess. But,” she pauses, reaching over to give Link’s bicep a squeeze. “They offered it again. I….just feel like when an opportunity presents itself more than once….there’s more to consider. It has to mean something, right?”

Link just looks at her blankly. There’s a brief silence before Amelia speaks again.

“It’s the Seattle Mariners,” she smiles encouragingly, “It’s your dream job.”

Link nods in agreement. And Amelia tries to ignore what that does to her. Because, even though she’s being encouraging, she knows what underlying feelings are truly there. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, it’s her own guilt that’s causing her to feign encouragement right now. Her own guilt and fear that she’s trapped him here, in this relationship. In this city. In this job. That when she got pregnant in the first place, she’d rushed them into things and forced a relationship. Forced a lifestyle.

She quickly tries to shake her thoughts. Thinking of anything that will make her feel better about this. Anything that will feel like compromise. “It’s only temporary,” she decides. “It’s not like you’ll be gone forever.”

“Right,” Link agrees, reaching forward to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Amelia’s ear. “Temporary.”

_______

(6 months ago)

‘It’s not like you’ll be gone forever’

Amelia chuckles bitterly at the memory as she walks from her ER consult. It had been 6 months and Link was still away from them, completely consumed by his travel schedule as the Mariners’ team surgeon. He’d come home about once a month, on a weekend, and spend as much time with Amelia and Scout as he could. But, it never felt like enough. Both parents couldn’t ignore the way Scout’s face would fall each Sunday night. When the weekend would close in on them and the knowledge of Link’s early flight out the next day would settle in.

The weekends become less and less. Link’s time allotted to return home becomes more scarce as unforeseen injuries happen on the team. They both know the effect it’s having on Scout.

“Hey, Amelia!” Maggie’s voice interrupts her thoughts as she walks into the attending’s lounge. “I was just going to grab lunch, wanna join me?”

“I’m supposed to FaceTime with Link in a minute, actually…” She trails off as a text message comes in from Link, confirming the call they are about to have.

“Isn’t he coming home this weekend? For Scout’s birthday?”

“Yeah,” Amelia breathes, but she can’t help the worried feeling creeping into her chest. Something about Link’s text seems off. “Yeah, he’s supposed to be.”

Maggie frowns, clearly recognizing Amelia’s distress.

And Amelia forces a smile, sighing deeply. “Well, I’m going to go call him.”

_______

Her intuition was right.

She tries to suppress the anger and resent that threatens to take over as she stares at her phone screen, listening to the words coming out of Link’s mouth. She feels like she’s only gathering certain pieces.

Something about ‘emergency surgery’

And ‘missing his flight’

And ‘I’ll make it up to him I promise’

“We can’t keep doing this to him,” She interrupts Link in the middle of his detailed explanation.

“I know,” he sighs back, through the phone.

“It’s his birthday,” Amelia’s voice almost breaks on the word. “He’s been talking about you all week. What am I supposed to tell him?”

“That I’m sorry,” Link quickly responds. “And I love you guys. And I’ll be home as soon as I can.” He regrets his words the moment he sees Amelia’s face fall in disbelief. Clearly not the response she had wanted.

“Amelia,” He continues. “I did get some good news today.”

“What’s that?”

“I got the approval from my boss. To have Scout with me this summer. When school gets out he can come to all the away games….like we’d planned. What do you think?”

Amelia nods numbly. This was always a part of the plan. They’d promised Scout a summer full of away games when his school break came around. It was something for him to look forward to.

“And you too, obviously,” Link adds. “Whenever your work schedule allows, of course. Think about it! The three of us out here travelling, it’ll be perfect! Everything we’ve wanted!”

Silence falls between them and Amelia zones out momentarily, subconsciously picking at the loose fabric of the couch she’s sitting on in the attending’s lounge.

She doesn’t realize she’s said anything out loud until she feels the shakiness of her own voice.

“I think we should take a break.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I think we should….separate. For a while.”

“Amelia…” Link frowns, trying to understand. “We are basically separate right now, we….we never see each other. Aren’t we already kind of-”

“Exactly,” she interrupts.

“I still don’t understand.”

“I think what you just said sums it up perfectly. We basically already are.”

“Yeah, but. This is temporary...I’m coming back. I’m-”

“I mean something a little more permanent.”

Link doesn’t say a word.

“I mean I don’t think I’ll be joining you guys this summer.”

_______

(summer - present day)

The door hesitates open and she’s glass before him. Hard, stoic, refusing to meet his eyes. She’s staring at his feet. Or maybe at the doormat, which ironically reads ‘welcome’ in all capital letters.

Link almost wants to laugh as he reads the word, glancing down at the ‘welcome’ mat, feeling anything but welcome. He almost wants to laugh, but he doesn’t. And she’s clearly not in the mood to laugh either.

He can tell by the way that she’s not yet made eye contact that Amelia’s putting up a front. She’s glass. Detached and oh, so stoic.

She sniffs. And clears her throat. And Link reminds himself that glass is shatterable somewhere down the line.

“Hi Amelia,” he speaks. “It’s good to see you. How’ve you been?”

"Just fine. You?” Her voice sounds raspy as she answers him, like she hasn’t spoken properly in a while. Or maybe it’s been so long since he’s heard her voice, that Link doesn’t recognize it accurately. He quickly refutes that idea. Impossible.

"Good.”

The eye contact they manage to hold is scarce, and Amelia darts her eyes away once again, clamping down on her bottom lip with a row of white teeth.

“So I, uh, I’ve packed up all of his things…” her sentence dwindles as she waits for a nod, or something, from Link.

“It’s all in the living room. There’s not much to do…..should be a quick exchange.” She mumbles, shuffling behind the door a little, an effort to let Link inside.

He takes a deep breath before he steps over the threshold.

Amelia clears her throat as she leads the way into the house. She nods toward the pile of Scout’s luggage in the corner. “Everything’s there,” she states plainly. She then turns the corner briefly, yelling up the stairs. “Scout! Come downstairs, your Dad’s here!”

Link watches curiously as he follows Amelia through to the kitchen. She reaches out for a jar of peanut butter and a spoon that’s already been sitting out, like she’d been snacking on it just before Link arrived.

“Really, Amelia?” Link chuckles, offering a small smile. “Peanut butter out of the jar? Is that your dinner?”

“I haven’t grocery shopped in while,” she mutters, mouth full. And Link picks up on a hint of a smile.

Silence fills the space between them as Link starts to gather up some of Scout’s belongings.

“I would’ve stopped and gotten pizza or something for you guys,” he offers, finally.

Amelia just frowns, shrugging off the idea.

“He’s going to get hungry during the car ride Ames-” he stutters on the nickname, then immediately corrects himself. “Amelia.”

He ignores whatever emotion waves across her features as a result of the nickname use. He thinks it might be shock. But then she’s speaking at him, her tone somewhere between disbelief and defensiveness.

“Why are you accusing me of….” She trails off briefly, frustrated at the direction of her thoughts. “Scout ate dinner an hour ago...you thought I just...wasn’t going to feed him? Or-”

“Can we not do this? Right now? Please?” Link cuts her off.

“Do what? I’m just saying-” She stops talking abruptly by the look on Link’s face. Clearly not in the mood to spend his time arguing.

“I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything,” he mutters calmly, hands raised in defense.

“Just pack up the car,” she whispers, suddenly entranced by the ingredients on the peanut butter packaging.

And Link does.

And Amelia busies herself with dishes as Link moves in and out of the house, loading luggage into his car.

_______

Link’s down to the last few items, heading to the front door, when Scout finally comes running down the stairs.

“Dad!” The 5-year-old yells excitedly.

He turns around just in time to witness his little man, having just jumped over the last few steps of the stairs, collapse against him, hugging himself to Link’s legs.

Link chuckles, setting down the stuff he was carrying. “Hey bud! I am so happy to see you! Look at you, you’re so big!”

Scout steps back, looking up at his Dad. “Mom said we get to go to baseball games all summer!”

“That’s true,” he ruffles Scout’s hair. “And…” He pauses for dramatic effect. “You get to meet the baseball players, too.”

Scout opens his mouth wide in excitement. There’s practically a sparkle in the kid’s eye and Link loves the sight of it. He has his mother’s eyes, and Link loves the sight of that, too.

“Want to help me finish loading up the car, bud?”

Scout nods enthusiastically, following his Dad outside.

The house is quiet now, and Amelia listens from the kitchen to the distant sounds of her son babbling excitedly outside. An aching feeling rises in her chest and she tries her best to suppress it. She pulls herself together and makes her way toward the front hallway. Link re-enters the house with Scout trailing behind him moments later.

“You all packed up?” Amelia tries to sound excited as she asks Scout, but her voice just sounds thin and strained.

“Yep!” Scout replies, his energy radiating in such a way that he can barely stand still in his position on the front porch.

“Okay, then. Guess it’s time to go,” Amelia mutters.

And with that Scout takes off, sprinting towards the car eagerly and yelling back at his Dad. “Dad, come on! Come on let’s go!”

“Wait Scout, get back here!” Link yells after him. “Come say goodbye to your Mom first.”

But Scout is already inside the car, climbing into the backseat and mumbling enthusiastically to himself.

“Scout did you hear me?!” Link is starting to sound a little exasperated.

Still no compliance from the young boy.

“Scout!”

“He heard you, he heard you!” Amelia interrupts, forcing a tight smile. Link looks back at her. “It’s fine, really. We already said goodbye.”

Link frowns. “Okay, but still-”

“Dad!” Scout suddenly yells from the car, interrupting them. “Can we get pizza on the way?!”

Amelia sucks in a breath. But then immediately tries to hide her pain, because this whole interaction just stings.

“Uhhhh,” Link draws out his reaction. “I’ll think about it, buddy. I know you already ate. So we’ll see-”

“Can you just go, please?” Amelia interrupts harshly, her head hanging low, in an attempt to hide her face.

Link frowns, taking in Amelia’s demeanor. Her neck is flushed and she’s clearly upset. And clearly trying to hide it.

“Amelia, I’m sorry,” he mumbles, reaching for her wrist.

He doesn't know why he does it. Muscle memory maybe. An attempt to comfort the woman that looks so breakable before him.

She recoils from his touch, snatching her wrist out of his grasp faster than he’d expect from someone seemingly so apathetic.

She finally looks at Link, and it practically kills him. The way her face twists when she’s trying not to cry.

“Please,” she rasps. “Please just go.”

And Link complies. Amelia wraps her trembling fingers around the door knob as Link goes to leave.

He steps out onto the porch, turning to face Amelia. He wants to say something. And by the look in Amelia’s stinging eyes, he needs to say something. He goes to open his mouth, not sure what’s going to come out, when Amelia swiftly shuts the door.

He stands there, frozen.

Long enough to hear the broken sob from the other side of the door.

Long enough to feel his heart sink, and for an ache to develop in the back of his throat.

But he turns around. He forces a smile on his face and walks toward the car, locking eyes with his bright-eyed son in the back seat. He walks away from Amelia.

_______

#amelink #amelink fanfic #amelinkfic #amelia shepherd #atticus lincoln #ALSO THE SONG FROM THIS TITLE IS FROM EARLY GREYS AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AMELINK BUT I LOVE IT AND THOUGHT IT FIT #amelia x link #amelinkfanfiction #my writing #greys anatomy fanfic #grey's anatomy fanfic #grey's anatomy fic

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dokoni-mo · 4 years ago

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Far Away, Together || Darth Vader x Reader (Chapter 6)

(A/N: I had originally planned to do post this friday, but I was just on such a roll last night that this bad boy practically wrote itself! Im very happy with the turnout as well :)) I hope y’all like it too!!! I also realized while writing this that the series will have to be one chapter longer than I had originally intended, but that’s just good news in my book!! As always, please feel free to ask to be put on the taglist for anything or send me asks about anything!! I love interacting with yall and making content for yall!! enjoy more time with our favorite sith ;) )))

WARNINGS: cursing, old man kinda creeping, breif mentions of violence, otherwise none!!!

Key: (F/N) = first name

Word Count: ~5600

Chapter One: [x]

Chapter Two: [x]

Chapter Three: [x]

Chapter Four: [x]

Chapter Five: [x]

Chapter Five and a Half: [x]

You hadn’t meant to be late that morning, but nonetheless, you were. Unquestionably so.

Waking up in the silk sheets that morning had been one of the most difficult things that you had ever had to do. For one, the bed was quite comfortable compared to the cot that you normally slept upon in your quarters back on the Super Star Destroyer. The cot that the Empire provided you was almost exactly like the Empire itself. Cold, hard, and not comfortable at all. The bed there on that planet, however, was the opposite. It was warm, inviting, and very comfortable. You would have simply cocooned yourself back in the covers and fallen back asleep were it not for you remembering your duty.

Alongside leaving the comfort, waking up that morning meant that the time you had spent with Lord Vader the night prior was officially over. For a brief moment in your groggy, freshly woken-up state, you had thought that the dance you shared with Lord Vader must have been a dream. A wonderful, yet cruel dream of what you knew could never be. However, contemplating it a moment longer, you knew that it was, in fact, very much real. Sitting up to look sleepily at your surroundings, you felt the phantom touch of Lord Vader’s arm around your waist, his hand within yours. Going back further, you replayed the conversation you had had with him in your mind, cementing the thought within your memory.

You smiled to yourself then. You knew that you would cherish that moment forever.

After picking up your uniform and pulling it's cloth upon your body, you decided that it would be best to simply just cut to the chase and go downstairs instead of stalling in your room for an indefinite amount of time. As you opened the door and clacked your boots down the hallway, a yawn escaped from behind your lips, making you raise your hand to your mouth to muffle the sound. As you drew closer to the stairs, you started to hear muffled voices from below you, your ears unable to decipher what exactly the voices were saying.

Your curiosity taking over you, you slowed your steps so that you could concentrate on the voices, your ears perking as you honed in on what they were picking up. After a moment of investigation, your mind was able to process the tone of the voice you heard, but not necessarily the words of which it was speaking. Your brow furrowed as you searched your mind for where exactly you had heard that voice before. The memory seemed so distant from your conscious, yet so very close.

The face that matched the voice hit you like a ton of bricks.

That face was old and nasty.

That face had blue eyes.

Shit.

You were late. Very, very late.

Adrenaline pumping through you, you bounded down the stairs faster than you had ever before on any set of stairs. You cursed how loud the sound of your boots stomping quickly on top of the surface of each step sounded, eliminating your chances of joining the meeting quietly and undetectably. Drawing quickly down the stairs, you were greeted with a sight of confirmation of exactly how late you were. About 50 feet away from you stood a handful of palace guards, another handful of stromtroopers and officers, one king, and, of course, one extremely tall sith lord, looming above the rest as he always did.

Walking quickly over to the group to assume your position at Lord Vader’s side, it was extremely difficult to not notice the stares you got from the officers and, more-so, the king. Meeting his blue gaze for a moment, you felt your cheeks rush with embarrassment. It was only then that you had allowed your mind to go back further into the events of the past night.

The king’s hands on you.

The conversation you had.

The broken glass.

You should have been ashamed to show your face. But, you weren’t. You were proud that you had put that old man in his damn place.

You were ashamed, however, of exactly how much you suspected you would be chewed-out by Lord Vader for being late two days in a row.

Oh well.

Standing with your arms crossed over your chest, you found your position by Lord Vader’s side, shooting up a small, quick smile at the sith Lord. He turned briefly to acknowledge your presence before returning to his original position of staring down at the old king. This made you puff your cheeks slightly, disappointed that he didn’t do anything else. Thinking it over a moment longer, you decided that you shouldn’t be too upset. This was technically a meeting, to be fair.

Returning your gaze to face forward, you were met by the sight of the king’s gaze trained upon you. The look he gave to you was one of an odd flurry of amusement and daggers, his lips in a slight smirk. Your eyes hardened in return, refusing to let you submit to the old asshole’s gaze.

“Well,” the king said, a breathy chuckle in his voice, “Look who has decided to join us! Good morning, Miss (F/N).”

You put on the best half-friendly smile that you could before formulating your response, “Good morning, your majesty.”

If you had simply trained on his words, you would have convinced yourself that perhaps the king had decided to continue on like the previous night’s actions had never occurred. However, you knew that his eyes had told a different story. Yet, you were confused. It was hard to tell what exact game he was trying to play

Furthermore, it was hard to tell if you really wanted to play.

“Well,” the king said, clapping his gloved hands together, “Now that everyone is here, allow me to guide the way.”

Turning on his heel and walking the other direction, you figured that you must have missed the details of the day while you were getting ready that morning. Sighing silently to yourself, you picked up your boots to follow the king, as well as the barrage of guards, stormtroopers, and officers that tailed him.

This had been your original plan, until it was sharply and swifty interrupted by a large weight throwing itself upon your shoulder, simultaneously pulling you back and keeping you in place. Your mouth opened to let out a yelp, but your lungs prevented this with a moment's more worth of constipation.

You recognized this weight.

“You are late again.” You heard the weight’s owner say from behind you, your cheeks turning pink.

Turning your body to face the sith lord behind you, you crossed your arms again as you looked up at him, a small smile on your features.

“I like to think that I’m just fashionably late again, my Lord.” You quipped back at him, “What do we have to do today?”

He gave you a strong pat on the shoulder before walking past you, slow enough for you to keep up, “Our host will be showing us what his planet has to offer the Empire, along with its natural resources.”

You walked to catch up with Lord Vader, letting your arms fall to your sides.

“How exciting…” you mumbled out.

You continued to walk in silence for a long moment beside the sith lord, unsure of what to say. You desperately wanted to say something, anything, but the words just would and could not come to you. Every now and again, you would open your mouth to say something, but would quickly second guess what it was, causing you to shut it again. You began to grow somewhat frustrated that you couldn’t find the words. You hoped that you didn’t look as dumb as you felt.

Lord Vader must have sensed the frustration growing inside of you as he looked down at your small frame, noticing how your brow was furrowed as you stared at your feet in compilation. He would never admit it to anyone, but he found it to be…

Amusing.

Returning his gaze to it's original position, you heard the sound of his respirator pick up in rhythm before he spoke.

“(F/N),” Lord Vader said, “I sense that you are frustrated.”

You felt your gut sink as you processed the words, shooting a look up at him. Damn, you thought to yourself, is it that obvious?

“I… I don’t know what you mean.” you responded. This was a half lie. You had known exactly what he meant by the words, but not what exactly he was trying to say. So what if you were frustrated? Every time he came to visit you while you were working on his TIE you were frustrated. What made now so special?

Lord Vader paused again before rumbling out his response, the metal of his armor gleaming in the light of the day.

“I enjoyed our night together as well.”

Oh.

That’s what made now special.

Your heart had skipped multiple beats at his words. Your nerves were firing off a mile a minute as waves of joy rippled through you. You had not realized that you were nervous about whether or not he actually wanted to be with you last night, or if he was simply doing it to get away from the mingling he had to do. Your doubt quieted, you looked up at Lord Vader’s mask, a big smile painted on your features. Sensing your gaze, Lord Vader pointed his mask to look down upon you.

“I’m… glad. Really glad.” you said up at him, your eyes crinkling in delight, “I… hope that it wasn’t the last one.”

You shot your gaze down back to your feet after you finished talking, your smile fading into a soft, faint stretch of your lips. You were surprised how bold you had been just then, admitting your true feelings to the sith. Where you should have felt embarrassed, you felt instead… content. You didn’t regret your actions at all. You felt comfortable even. If you had been anyone else, you knew that you would have been sliced in half or choked to death right then and right there. Yet, by some grace that was far bigger than you, you knew deep down, you were lucky enough to be excluded from that fate.

You thanked your maker above silently and unconsciously.

Lingering his gaze upon you a moment longer, Lord Vader drank in the sight of your flushed face before turning his armor-clad head to face forward again, as if he were looking something very, very far away. His words came a moment filled with nothing but the sound of birds, the breeze, and his respirator allowing him to inhale and exhale later.

“As do I.”

~~~

The places that the King had taken you, Lord Vader, and the posse of troopers and officers were pretty, but not all that interesting. A tour of the city, a look at the forest, a look at the sea, and a look at the sports colosseum. Again, all very beautiful to look at, but not too interesting to talk about.

You had been able to avoid any sort of contact with the king as you trudged through the sights of the city, keeping your mouth shut and your eyes trained on the view around you. Every now and again, your group would begin to walk without you even realizing. You were always broken from your trance by Lord Vader, either by him calling out your name or leading you on by the small of your back for a brief moment, his giant hand nearly taking up the entire expanse. Both would always make you smile up at him, and the latter would make you blush.

You were currently atop of a platform that looked over a medium-sized waterfall, the sound of the water falling off the edge filling your ears. The air was thick with the smell of salt, and the dew that emanated off of the falls making the atmosphere humid, but pleasantly so with the breeze that fluttered your hair. Across the stretch of rock that you stood upon was the entrance to one of the largest mines on the planet, the cave so large you had to crane your neck to look atop it. The few stalactites and stalagmites that stuck out of the entrance gleamed and littered in the sunlight, emanating many hues of the rainbow. If you weren’t here representing the Empire, you would have almost thoroughly enjoyed the setting.

“I will give you a few moments to look around, my Lord. I have to discuss something with my advisors for a brief moment.” The king had said to your boss after blubbering on for a long while about the history of the mine and the resources that were found inside. With a nod of approval from Lord Vader, the king gave one last snake-like smirk and walked off, giving you some sort of look. You felt a sour taste on your tongue as you rolled your eyes, making sure that the king’s gaze was turned away before you did so.

You had hoped to take a short walk with Lord Vader while the two of you were on break from mingling, but you were disappointed to see his attention be taken away by an officer who demanded his attention. You would have been saddened, were it not for you remembering that the visit to that damn planet wasn’t just a get away for you and Lord Vader to hold hands all day and walk into the sunset together. There was work to be done and deals to be made, and that always seemed to involve him in some way.

Awesome.

Deciding to not try and make friends with the guards or strike up a conversation with the stormtroopers, you placed a hand on your hip as you started to slowly walk around the stone platform. You had eyed some of the members of the posse as you walked by, quietly wondering what their daily lives were like or what their thoughts on Lord Vader’s visit. Sighing to yourself, you realized that they must be just as boring as your own.

As you continued to stroll about the platform and gaze absentmindedly at the people that littered it, a certain sight had caught your attention. You didn’t mean specifically to look at the king, but your eyes had somehow fallen upon him. Just as he said he would, he was currently talking to a few guardsmen who seemed to have a few more matches and medals than the rest. Captains and generals, you took it.

Lingering your gaze a moment longer, you felt a jolt rush through your spine as your lips parted. While the king was whispering to his guards, he had taken a moment to look over his shoulder at you, a glint of venom in his eyes. This glint quickly dissipated, however, once he realized that his blue eyes had made sudden contact with yours. With this, he quickly let his gaze fall as he continued to talk quietly with his advisors, as if he had hoped you did not notice this action.

However, quite the contrary, you had noticed as plain as day. Processing what had just happened, you allowed your brow to furrow.

What was that for? You wondered to yourself. The obvious answer, the one you wanted so desperately to believe, was that the look you had exchanged was by pure accident, the tone of his look being from the king’s residual loathing from the night prior. However, as much as you wanted to believe that, you gut told a different story. You felt… odd.

You decided to do something about it.

Marching past all the other people dispersed in the crowd, you only stopped when you were within conversation distance between the king and his huddle of guards. You had noticed that their voices had grown quieter and quieter as you had approached.

“Did you want to speak with me, your majesty?” you asked, raising your voice so that you could be heard over the bodies of the guardsmen as you placed a hand on your hip.

A moment of awkward hesitation loomed over the air as the king exchanged a few glances with the guards, causing you to raise a brow. Smirking and stepping forward, the king placed his hands behind his back as he looked down at you.

“Now where would you get that idea, my dear?” the king asked you, his tone so sickeningly sweet it made you wince.

We made eye contact, dumbass.

“I saw that you were looking my way, your majesty,” you responded, “and I just figured-”

“What? That I would ever want to speak with the likes of you again?”

Your mouth opened slightly in shock at his sudden change of tone, your legs moving to shift your weight. Excuse me?

“W-What?” you stammered out, the shock still in your veins, “no, I just-”

“Don’t get smart again with me, missy.” the king hissed out, stepping forward and glaring down at you, his finger in your face, “Don’t think that I have forgotten how you embarrassed me in front of my entire entourage last night.”

Oh.

This was what this is about.

Not letting yourself back down, you placed both hands on your hips, your brow furrowing again as you shot up a glare right back at the blue-eyed old man.

“Embarrassed you? How about when you embarrassed me?! Looking at me like that, talking to me like that, are you out of your-”

“Shut up,” the king spat, cutting you off. Suddenly and without warning, he reached out and grabbed you by the collar, making your eyes widen. You wrapped your hands around his wrist and tried to pull away, only for him to pull you closer to his glare.

“Do you really think that you could pull that sort of stunt and get away with it? I swear, I will-”

“Is there something wrong, your majesty?”

The voice that came from behind you was comforting to you, but only sparked fear within he eyes of the king. Letting you go almost instantly, you stumbled backwards, your back bumping against the hard, firm surface of a panel of buttons. Before you could look up at the owner of a panel, a pair of hands wrapped themselves around your shoulders, grounding you and making you feel safe. Looking at the king again, you had noticed that his face had morphed from one of anger and hate to one of fear, only masked by a forced friendly smile. You smirked softly to yourself as you noticed the beads of sweat starting to form upon on his old, wrinkly brow.

“O-Of course not, Lord Vader!” the king said, a waver in his voice, “Miss (F/N) and I were just having a, erm, little… chat.”

“Is that so…” Lord Vader rumbled out. You opened your mouth to object, but you were quickly cut off by the old man before you.

“Y-yes! Yes of course!” the king chuckled nervously in response.

“Good,” rumbled Lord Vader, taking his hands off your shoulder and stepping closer to the king ever so slowly, his head tilting to the side, “It would be quite the shame if my prised mechanic were to be harmed.”

Gulping silently and taking a few steps back, the king responded, “Yes… quite the shame indeed.”

Clearing his throat, the king placed his hands on his hips, assuming a new look of attempted friendliness.

“Well, I assume that we are all done here, yes? Excellent! Let us head back to my palace now, my Lord. There we can talk more about our entrance into the Empire.”

Before Lord Vader could do anything in approval, the King pushed past both you and the sith lord, the cape on his shoulders fluttering at his pace. As the troopers and officers began to follow suit, you began to mimic their actions, only to be stopped by a familiar hand upon your shoulder.

“(F/N),” Lord Vader spoke to you, making the pair of you linger behind the group, “Are you… alright?”

You didn’t know how to respond instantly.

Were you alright?

You frowned slightly as you thought about what your response should be. You didn’t know whether or not to tell him about your interaction with the king, or how you had seen him look at you and whisper with his guards. The feeling in your gut had not dissipated, and it plagued the back of your mind. You wondered if that was worth telling Lord Vader, however, since he already had so much to worry about. Was that just normal behavior? Lord Vader did do similar things with the officers on the Super Star Destroyer…

“Yeah, I’m fine… thanks.” you decided to respond. Shooting up a small smile at his mask, you lifted up your own hand to rest upon his own briefly in order to cement your gratitude.

He looked at you in silence for a long moment after you responded. You wondered if your answer had satisfied his curiosity. His pause said no, even the aura around him said no, but he did not poke the subject any further as he removed his hand from your shoulder.

Deep down, you really wanted him to question you further.

~~~

The walk back to the palace was excruciatingly long.

You didn’t realize just how far you and the little posse had gone until you passed by literally everything that the king had taken you to see. By this point, the sun was starting to set, and your feet were starting to ache in your boots. You were somewhat grateful for this, however, since it meant that the second day on this planet was finally drawing to an end.

Just one more day of having to deal with this shit, you thought to yourself, then I can go back to my station. Funny… I never thought I would miss that place.

But there I can be by myself, and not worry about having to deal with creeps.

There I can be with…

You shook your head to dislodge your thoughts. Now was not the time nor the place for you to indulge in such things.

Staring to grow bored with your walk alongside Lord Vader, you began to let your eyes wander once again for some people-watching. You watched as the stormtroopers marched along with their guns held tightly to their chests, and how the officers walked with their heads held high. There was no doubt that this was an empirical entourage.

Looking deeper into the crowd, you allowed your gaze to fall upon the king’s guardsmen. Their uniforms were somewhat silly to you, but you figured that you must be biased in that regard. Training your eyes on them a moment longer, you started to notice small things that the guards would do.

Every so often, one guard would whisper to another, then another, then another. Sometimes, the guards would even steal glances of you and Lord Vader as you were fixated by his side. Your brow furrowed again at this, making your mind try and piece together what you were seeing.

He must have sensed your shift in mood since he looked down at you without warning, his respirator as loud as ever. He took note of your facial expression before he spoke.

“You seem on edge, (F/N).” Lord Vader said, making you look up at him a brief moment.

“Yeah,” you said back quietly, your fingers twitching in a faint sense of nervousness, “It's just… Do you see them looking at us? It’s… weird.”

Lord Vader looked at you a moment before responding.

“Yes, I am aware.”

“Should we… do something about it? Or is this normal?”

“It happens periodically upon my visit to certain systems. Besides,” he continued, “Any attempt to conspire against the Empire shall result in failure.”

You would have smiled at that if it weren’t for the pang of nervousness that still resided in your gut. Instead, you looked down at your feet and frowned to yourself, your lips stretching into a brief line.

“If you say so, my Lord…”

You desperately wanted to believe him. But, a pit of doubt and anxiety in your stomach kept you from doing as such fully. You hated the feeling.

It’s just me wanting to get off this damn rock… you tried to tell yourself.

You didn’t fully believe yourself, either.

You didn’t know which feeling to hate more.

~~~

Upon your arrival back to the palace, you were allowed 30 minutes to yourself to freshen-up before the day’s closing meeting. Relieved to get a moment to yourself, you headed up the stairs almost too quickly as you were relieved to go by Lord Vader.

‘Do try not to be, how do you put it… ‘fashionably late,’ again this evening, (F/N)’ he said to you.

‘No promises, my Lord.’ you had giggled back to him.

Locking the door and kicking off your boots in your room, you sat down gingerly upon the freshly made bed, a wave of relief washing over you, so strong that it made you lie back upon the plush surface. Reaching your arms above your head, you arched your back as you let yourself have a big stretch, your muscles turning cold from the rush of blood-flow. Letting out a big breath, you closed your eyes as you let relaxation flow over you. You figured that since you needed energy to continue on with the night, now was as good a time as any to get in a quick cat-nap.

Just as you had settled into your quick nap, a startling yet soft sound made you snap your eyes open, because of course something had to take your relaxation away from you. Laying there silently for a moment, you tried your best to hone in on the sound. Your ears prickling, you heard the noise again, only this time it made you sit up in your bed at attention. Finally able to decipher where the noise had been coming from, you snapped your head over to the knob on your door.

Sure enough, it was twisting and turning at a feverish pace.

Someone was trying to come in.

Oh hell no.

A sense of anger and frustration washing over you, you quickly marched over to the door, throwing it open as quickly as you could.

“WHAT THE HELL-”

Nothing. And no one. That’s what meat your gaze as you looked out in the hallway.

Your face fell from one of anger to one of sad confusion as you stood there a moment, your hand sliding down the surface of the door. Sighing to yourself, you slowly went back into your room and closed the door behind you. You closed your eyes and pointed your head at the ceiling as you leaned your back against the door, allowing yourself to slide down into a kneeling position.

Great, you thought, now I’m going crazy.

I just want to go home.

I hate it here.

~~~

Deciding to humor Lord Vader a little, you had arrived at the night’s closing meeting on time. This had proven to be the correct choice, since you didn’t get any stares from anyone upon your arrival. The gut feeling from that morning still inside you, and this did little to appease it. However, it made you wonder if the king had given up on whatever he was trying to pull with you from earlier.

But, of course, you had no way of knowing.

The meeting was just as boring as all the other ones you had been to. Again, you were sit speechless by Lord Vader as he discussed the topics at hand with the king or one of his advisors. As he did so, you would try and find anything you could do to entertain yourself. This often involved counting tiles or trying to play back a holovid you had seen long ago back in your mind.

This meeting, however, had a big surprise in store for you.

“Miss (F/N),” you heard the king’s voice call out to you, sending a shock of get your head out of your ass down your spine, “You look dreadfully bored over there, my dear.”

Looking over to the king, you hid your scowl as best you could as you tried to ease your sense of deja-vu.

“Well, there isn’t much I have to add to the conversation, your majesty…” you responded back. You hadn’t meant to sound snarky, yet you couldn’t help yourself.

The king laughed, an odd glint in his eye, “Yes, of course, my dear. I understand perfectly. Yet, I feel so bad just watching you sitting there. Here, how about we have my guards here escort you to the mechanical department for the time being? You can get a good look at the place whilst me and Lord Vader discuss, hm?”

Your lips parted in confusion as you looked into the king’s blue eyes. What the hell? Did he suddenly feel bad for being such a dick to you? Or did he simply just feel bad? Or could he just not stand the sight of you anymore?

Deep down, you didn’t care. Enticed by an opportunity to leave the boring meeting behind, your mind was fuzzed from any thoughts of doubt that plagued your conscience. That offer did sound… appealing.

However…

“I… I would love to, your majesty, but…” you began to say, turning your gaze to fall upon Lord Vader for a moment, “I wouldn’t want to go against my Lord’s wishes if he required me to stay.”

This was a silent plea, but you wouldn’t know it yet.

“Oh, I’m sure that our dear Lord wouldn’t mind at all! Am I right, Lord Vader? Won’t you allow our dear Miss (F/N) to be relieved of our boring conversation?” the king asked, propping his boots on the table.

You shot your gaze over to Lord Vader, unable to tell what emotion your eyes emanated to him. The sith looked right back at you, the sound of his respirator allowing him to inhale and exhale filling the room.

Deep down, you wanted him to say no.

Deep down,you prayed he would say no.

He spoke after one of his trademark pauses.

“I will allow it.”

Why did that sting so bad? You should be relieved…

“Excellent!” the king exclaimed, “Guards, please take Miss (F/N) to the mechanical department for the time being. I will comm you when she is to return.”

The guards grasped their blasters tightly in response, standing at attention. Slowly but surely, you stood up from your chair and pushed it in. As you turned, mumbled out a quiet thanks, and began to walk past the dark lord you knew too well, you felt something large and leathery wrap around your fingers. Sure enough, when you looked down, he saw his hand wrapped there, making you look up at his mask.

“(F/N),” he said slowly, just enough for you to hear, “be… careful.”

You smiled and nodded at him like you didn’t need his caution.

Why did it feel so wrong?

With Lord Vader eventually letting you out of his grasp, you walked over to your guard escorts and gave them a nod to signal to them that you were ready. Nodding in return, they turned on their heels and escorted you out of the room.

You gave one last glance over your shoulder at Lord Vader before you exited.

Deep down, you prayed that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw him.

The palace was eerily quiet with no one else but you and two guards walking the halls. Even though you had never been to a palace before, something inside you told you that this was wrong.

You ignored it.

The sound of footsteps echoing off of the walls made the goosebumps raise on your arms. It was so eerily quiet. And so eerily cold. You thought about striking up conversation with the guards, but you took them as not the type for conversation.

Looking past all the doors that you saw on your walk, you took brief moments with each to see the contents inside all of them. You felt a lump in your throat as you saw a door with half-broken ships and blasters in the doorway. A feeling of unease washed over you.

You ignored it.

There must be some other way into that room.

You held your biceps as the guards led you down a long hallway, only for it to end with two long, dull, menacing doors. A pit bore itself into your stomach.

You ignored it.

“Is this… it?” you asked.

“Yes.” One of the guards responded.

“But…” you said, “I-I saw some ships back there and-”

You were swiftly and rudely cut off by an action you barely had any time to process.

The guard had lifted his blaster, pointed to butt-end at you, and slammed it against the side of your forehead.

Instantly, your vision blurred, your brain just barely able to process what was happening as your sight started to fade to black.

You heard the doors to the room in front of you open.

You felt your weak body being dragged inside.

Your body weak, you felt yourself roll onto your side to face the fall without you even telling your body to do it.

You were met with one final sight before everything went black.

There was no mistaking it.

You had seen it countless times before.

From news briefings.

From posters.

From propaganda.

That brilliant crimson.

The symbol of the rebellion.

~~~

TAGS: @spaghetti-666 , @soullesstaco , @arsonistvoyager , @robin-obsessed , @glitter-rian , @captainrexstan , @easterncryptid , @deviatedwinter , @roseangel013bf , @danicalifxrnia , @dartheldur , @finest-trashbag , @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii , @elongatedmusk-rat , @shads121 , @muffinbeliever , @sakuramadae , @padme-parker , @missmannequin

#darth vader #darth vader x reader #fanfiction #anakin x you #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars x you #star wars fanfic

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everlarkbirthdaygifts · 4 years ago

Text

Happy Birthday, king-peeta!

Happy Birthday, @king-peeta! We hope you’re having a wonderful day so far, and that you’ve got some awesome cake to look forward to later! To start your special day off right, the lovely @norbertsmom has written a story just for you!

Author’s note: Happy birthday @king-peeta. I hope you enjoy your High school au - popular!katniss and nerd!peeta fic. This fic is inspired by the movie Grease 2. Special thanks go out to my beta and my bestie, @mega-aulover.

Senioritis

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I’m leaning against my hand-me-down car in the senior student parking lot when my friend Delly pulls up in her pink convertible. She and all the other blonde haired, blue eyed cheerleaders held several car washes this past summer to raise the money to purchase that car and have it painted pink. Since the parking lot is so small, only seniors are allowed to park in it, so it’s somewhat of a rite of passage to drive to school senior year. The cheerleaders wanted to show up in style, or so Delly told me.

Delly and the rest of the squad hop out of their car with more excitement than anyone should have on the first day of school. The other girls gather around us as Delly gives me a crushing hug.

She releases me and asks, “What do you think, Peeta? Ready to rule this school?” The other cheerleaders cheer in answer as if she asked them the question.

I shake my head and chuckle. “I’m not ruling anything, Delly,” I reply. A pout forms on Delly’s lips, but before she can start her rebuttal, the roar of approaching engines grabs our attention. Delly wraps her arm around my waist as we turn toward the sound. She stands up on her tiptoes to see over the other kids in the parking lot while the other girls climb up to stand on the seats of their car to get a better look.

A line of motorcycles is weaving its way through the parking lot, drawing everyone’s attention. As they drive past, the cheerleaders squeal and wave then start whispering among themselves, but the riders don’t seem to notice. They pull into the row to the right of us.

As the riders dismount, I look through the crowd for my first glimpse of the girl I’ve been staring at since kindergarten. But I don’t see the object of my hidden affection. I look away thinking of how beautiful she is with the voice of an angel, although she doesn’t sing much anymore. The Mockingjays are the popular kids at school and they all stick together. You’d think that the jocks and the cheerleaders would be tops, but there’s something about a motorcycle club that makes everyone want to be a part of it.

The motorcycle closest to us is painted a matte black. It matches the rider’s outfit of black boots, jeans, and jacket. He removes his helmet and pulls out a comb from his back pocket and runs it through his slicked back black hair. Another rider, much taller than him approaches and slaps him on the back in greeting. The two boys could be brothers with their matching olive skin and grey eyes, but it’s a common look of the people from the Seam neighborhood. Just like most of the people from town have blond hair and blue eyes, me included.

I recognize the taller of the two as Gale Hawthorne, resident bad boy, and object of many girls’ affections. The cheerleaders call out “Hi Gale” in unison, but he doesn’t look their way. The other boy, Thom, looks over at us and frowns. I’m not sure what we did to deserve that reaction, but I look past him. I’m hoping to see one person in particular.

The next motorcycle is painted glossy black with red pin-stripes down the fenders. On the side of the gas tank is a picture of two axes crossed at the handles. The rider is wearing black combat boots, red tights, a short black skirt, and a black jean jacket. She gets off and removes her helmet to reveal short black hair tipped with red. She scrunches up her hair and makes it stand up in spikes. She looks up at the cheerleaders and gives a wide toothy smile. The girls jump up and down and wave. She quickly turns her hand around and flips them off making the girls gasp in surprise. She smirks and saunters off to link her arm with Thom and drags him toward the school entrance behind the other riders heading that way. Gale smiles and shakes his head. He watches them leave before he turns his attention to the last motorcycle that’s just pulling up.

The motorcycle is forest green with a golden bow and arrow painted on the gas tank. The rider is the smallest of the bunch and can only be the one and only Katniss Everdeen, my secret crush. Her worn brown leather boots are laced up to her knees over black skinny jeans. She’s wearing the same oversized brown leather jackets she’s had since the sixth grade. She takes off her helmet and her thick black braid falls down her back.

When she gets off her bike, Katniss looks over in my direction and we lock eyes for the first time. I hold my breath, wondering what to do next. I don’t know what I could possibly say to her if she ever spoke to me. I’m not cool like Gale or the other Mockingjays.

Gale leans down and whispers in her ear and her cheeks turn pink. She scowls as he drapes his arm over her shoulder. She elbows him in the side and ducks under his arm then storms off toward the school as Gale laughs and rubs his side as he struts toward the school behind her. I think I hear a few sighs from the cheerleaders as Gale walks away.

The first warning bell goes off, so we have to start heading into school. Delly drops her arm from around my waist and joins her squad in front of her car. “See you at lunch, Peeta,” she says as the girls wave to me and saunter off. Many of the boys from the cars around us rush to catch up to the cheerleaders and follow them. With a sigh I pick up my backpack and head into school, joining the mass of students.

This year is my last chance to talk to Katniss Everdeen. I’m just going to have to figure out how to do it.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

School goes on as I had expected. No great change from years past. Freshmen get lost, underclassmen get bullied by seniors who were bullied themselves in previous years, and the teachers are already counting down to the first vacation. I share 2 classes with Katniss, so it’s not as if I never see her. She sits two rows in front of me in literature and 3 rows over in history, but I have yet to work up the nerve to talk to her.

A few days later, Delly leans over the lunch table before the others arrive and whispers, “I know where Katniss is going to be on tonight.” Delly discovered my crush on Katniss a few years ago and has been scheming to get us together ever since.

“So do I, Delly,” I reply. “She’ll be wherever Gale Hawthorne is.”

“Nope,” Delly replies as she tears the lid off of her salad and starts picking out the olives. “Well, I guess, technically, yes Gale will be there, but Katniss is not with him; she never was.” She turns her head back and forth looking for eavesdroppers then gives me a sly smile. “ Katniss and the other Mockingjays are in an archery league at the rec center. They practice every night at 6 pm, with competitions every Thursday night.”

“What am I supposed to do with this information?” I ask and tear into my sandwich. “It’s not like I can just join their league,” I say around a mouthful of food.

“First, gross,” Delly says. “Second, you don’t need to join their league. You, me, and a few of our friends are going to work out at the rec center at 7. You’ll be showing up just as they’re getting ready to leave. It’s brilliant.”

“I don’t know, Delly,” I try to argue, but she’s not having it.

“We’re going, Peeta,” she says with all the authority of a head cheerleader. Usually she’s so sweet, but she can be fierce when she’s determined. “You said you want to talk to her this year. This is your chance.”

“Okay,” I agree, but I have a bad feeling about this.

We make arrangements to meet at the rec center since I have to work after school, and Delly has cheerleading practice.I might show up a little early just to watch Katniss before I get humiliated trying to talk to her.

Katniss’ POV

After dropping Prim off at middle school, I join the rest of the Mockingjays in Panem High’s senior parking lot. Johanna’s flipping off the cheerleaders as I pull up and Poor Thom is staring at them. Gale is teasing Thom about his crush on the head cheerleader, as if someone from that bubbly world would go for one of us lowly Seam kids. Johanna takes Thom by the arm and drags him into the school.

When I get off my bike I look over toward the cheerleaders and see Delly Cartwright with her arm around Peeta Mellark’s waist. Figures they’re together. Poor Thom doesn’t stand a chance.

I momentarily lock eyes with Peeta, and I’m thrown back to that fateful night six years ago. After my father died, Peeta Mellark was the only person to help us. Without him, we would have died of starvation. And I never thanked him.

Gale puts his arm around my shoulder, and he whispers in my ear, “Don’t you wish you were a cheerleader, Catnip?”

I feel my cheeks burn and tear my eyes away from Peeta. It’s too late to thank him now, he probably doesn’t even remember tossing me that bread. I don’t let Gale see that his statement bothers me, so I elbow him in the side and stalk off to class. I don’t know why I put up with him, but us Seam kids gotta stick together. I can’t wait until archery practice when I can shoot something.

School was the same as always, but after I get Prim home and we eat dinner I head up to the rec center for practice. I’m glad they have lockers to keep our equipment because I’d never be able to carry my bow case on my bike.

“Hey, Everdeen,” Johanna calls out to me as soon as I enter the building. She and Leevy already have their cases out of the lockers and are checking us in with reception. When I come back out with mine, Thom and Gale are also ready to go.

Practice goes as usual. We all shoot at the same time to keep us comfortable shooting close to other people, then we shoot in order.

Leevy goes first, since she’s the newest member on the team, then Thom, then Johanna.

“If we were throwing axes, I’d be the anchor here,” Johanna gripes after her turn.

“You’ll do great at the competition,” Leevy tells her.

“You just need to show up those rich kids,” Thom chimes in. That makes Johanna smile.

Gale is next, but he decides to challenge me for the anchor spot, so we have a shoot-out.

“I’ll take over the anchor spot one of these days,” Gale grumbled as we’re walking out of the archery range back into the lobby.

I check the clock and realize that we have only a few minutes before those perky cheerleaders get here at 7. I don’t want to run into them again. I overheard Delly telling one of the other girls in class today that she invited Peeta to join in their work out tonight. I don’t know if I could take seeing him in workout gear. He gets me so flustered at school as it is.

“Any time, Hawthorne,” I tell Gale, because truthfully, his competitiveness keeps me motivated. I need to be my best if I’m to make the archery team at Panem U next year. I’ll need that scholarship to pay for my tuition.

Our first competition is next Thursday. Those rich kids from Capitol prep, with their top end equipment always give us a run for our money.

“Any time? How about this Saturday. I take you out to lookout point. You give me pointers on shooting.”

“No thanks, Gale,” I tell him and push him away, because really, I don’t have time to date anyone, even if I wanted to.

“Seriously Catnip,” he says as he puts his arm around my shoulder. “You gotta date one of us Mockingjays. We rule this school, and since I’m the leader, and you’re the best archer, for now,” he says with a pointed look. “You and I belong together.”

“What do you mean, I gotta date one of the Mockingjays? Since when do you think you can tell me who I can date? That’s up to me,” I tell him, because seriously, who does he think he is? “You have no say in who I spend my time with.”

“Yeah, you tell him,” Jo joins in. “She can kiss anyone she wants to.” Leevy nods her head in agreement and Thom is looking uncomfortable at this discussion.

“Oh yeah? Who you gonna kiss, Catnip?”

I wasn’t planning on kissing anyone, but Gale’s arrogance is making me mad. “I can kiss anyone I want,” I tell him. “I’ll kiss the next guy who comes into the lobby.”

“Anyone?” Gale asks as a big smile comes across his face as he stares out the entrance doors into the parking lot.

I look out to see what’s made him smile and I see that creepy old security guard Cray walking up toward the door. Great. He’s always saying inappropriate things to the young girls who come into the rec center, but I’ll do it if it means putting Gale in his place.

I turn back and look up at Gale, “Anyone.” I set my bow case down and stomp over to the side of the door. If I catch old Cray off guard, maybe he won’t know what hit him and I can get away real quick.

“Go get him, Catnip,” Gale taunts as he elbows an uncomfortable Thom. Leevy looks nervous and Jo just looks angry.

I’m standing off to the side, waiting for Cray to come in. I can’t see him because I don’t want him to have any clue that I’m waiting for him. I brace myself when I feel the pressure change as the outside door opens.

Leevy squeals and I look over at the others.

I watch curiously as that smug smile falls off of Gale’s face. He almost looks angry. Jo is standing beside him laughing and yells, “Go get him, girl!”

The inside doors open, and I step in front of the person entering. And look up into not the gray eyes of old Cray, but the brilliant blues of Peeta Mellark.

Peeta looks down and smiles at me. He opens his mouth to speak, but before I lose my nerve, I stand on tiptoe and pull his head down to give him a quick kiss.

Peeta’s eyes widen as he realizes what’s happening. “Oh,” he says just before our lips meet.

I’m about to step back and apologize when he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against his body, deepening the kiss. I feel my arms go around his neck and tilt my head to get a better angle. It’s the first time I’ve ever kissed a boy, and all I can register is how hot it makes me feel, warm and curious stirring inside my chest. Each kiss makes my need for more greater.

It's the sound of Johanna yelling, “Okay, Lovebirds,” that brings us to our senses. I step back and my knees go weak as I disentangle myself from Peeta’s arms. It’s difficult to look at him so I look around and see not only old Cray at the reception desk, but the cheerleading squad is here as well. They must have come in while we were, uh, otherwise occupied.

The cheerleading squad is giggling and whispering among themselves and Cray is leering at them. Delly is giving Johanna and Leevy a high five. Thom is shuffling his feet. He can’t keep his eyes off Delly.

I shake my head and come to my senses. I can’t let anyone know how much that kiss affected me, so I pat Peeta on the chest and tell him, “Thanks.” I give Gale a smirk and pick up my bow case.

Gale has murder in his eyes as his stare goes from me and then to Peeta.

I saunter off to the locker-room to put my bow case away to a chorus of blond giggles behind me.

Peeta’s POV

I can’t believe my luck. I just wanted to talk to her, and Katniss Everdeen just kissed me. And boy what a kiss it was, so much more that I ever dreamed it would be.

I watch as Katniss walks away, too stunned to go after her. I’ll have to talk to her at school tomorrow.

“Congratulations, Peeta,” Delly says when she comes bouncing over to me. “I had a feeling she might like you too."

I rub my hand across the back of my neck. “I don’t know. You think so? Why did she leave then?”

“Oh, who knows what goes on in her mind. Don’t worry about it. You got this, Peeta.”

“You got nothing, Mellark,” Gale barks. “She only kissed you on a dare,” he says as he stomps passed me out the door, giving me a shoulder bump as he goes by.

“What? That kiss was all for a game?” I ask, disappointed. Of course Katniss didn’t mean it.

“Don’t you believe him,” Johanna Mason says as she comes up. “He’s just a sore loser because she turned him down. I have watched that girl get flustered every time you’re around.”

Which shocks me. “Really?” I ask hopefully.

Delly and Leevy nod yes as Jo continues, “You just have to be patient. She’s a little skittish, but brainless will come around. You’ll see. Just give her time.”

I smile as I tell her, “Okay. I guess I can live with that.”

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlarkbirthdaydrabbles #everlarkbirthdaygifts #fan fic #by norbertsmom

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