#tbh... wish life kinda felt more worth living rn
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#delete later#tw sui ideation#tbh... wish life kinda felt more worth living rn#hard to feel like you wanna keep living when you feel like you're a curse#and that you're constantly being punished purely for existing#I'm fine 👍
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more gender crisis bc i need somewhere to document this shit and also if u wanna read and say smth that’s cool too 🥺 fair warning it’s kinda longgg. but there’s a tl;dr and i tried to make the paragraphs short so it’s easy to read and i sorted the thoughts by paragraphs
ok so when i see a girl or group of girls or smth i, for the most part, am like yeah same. i have the same lived experience and like yeah u look cool and i relate in a lot of ways.
but like i also feel the same w non-binary ppl. i see agender ppl and i’m like oh nice that sounds like how i want to live MY life!! i get jelous. i saw a gender ambiguous person the other day and i thouvht i was going to lose my mind i was like AKSJSHJSJSNS Y O U. I WANT TO BE YOU. i talked to them i was like 😭😭i love your hair😭😭 and it was so compelling just seeing them i got my hair cut later that week. i like it.
and i cut my hair and i’m like y e s. and i’ve always wanted a very small/flat chest and have planned on getting a breast reduction (meaning i want basically no tits. i’m like a DDD rn. and i’m short and have a baby face so that’s like. very noticeable. pain.) ASAP. but i like dress and being seen as a girl? but i also want to be non binary, but it feels like something im striving for. i don’t feel like i’m there. i feel like i WANT to be there but i just keep hitting roadblocks.
when i think about OTHER girls, i’m like yeah. i relate to that. but when i think about myself. fully isolated. i want to present like a feminine agender person. i am connected to my girlhood. girl, sister, girlfriend, daughter... all of them accurately describe me. but i also like person, sibling, partner, child.
i like femininity. i like being seen like that. and being seen as a girl is cool and fine. but i don’t feel like it accurately describes all of me. but i’m like scared??
i want to be a “girl” in the way that when u look at me ur like ... is that a girl? my face i like lmao. it’s round and feminine. cool lol. my body.... i wish with like all my heart i woke up one day w/o titties or major curves. but i’ve literally work so hard to accept and like myself in my body. YEARS of forcing myself to look in the mirror and compliment myself. deconstructing fatphobia was a big part of it. but in my head. with no mirrors around. i think of myself as less curvy. a small fame, but not really curvy. much more neutral features. i forget what i actually look like. but when i do look in the mirror now i’m like she’s pretty. i like how she looks. nice. but it doesn’t really feel like me. but i feel cool. it’s like nice makeup that’s someone else chose for u and never comes off. like yes. that’s nice. but... it’s not like “me”. i feel like that about most of my features. but i’ve grown up in them. i don’t hate them. i think they look pretty and i feel confident enough like this. and after all the work i’ve done to get to this mindset... it’s just not what i want.
i think part of what’s messing with me is i’m automatically more comfortable with other girls/afabs, like we just share experiences and i can generally understand how they socialize. guys like,.. not so much. but most of my actual friends have ended up being guys. but im naturally wary of guys. and most around me end up being fucking republicans anyways. and another part of what’s getting to me is when i’m going about my life, i enjoy being stereotypically feminine. like i like to be taken care of, feel small , that bs. maybe it’s internalized misogyny that i feel like the only way i can be that is as a girl.
i also think i just have no idea what it would really feel like to go about the world non-binary. like i just want to keep blending into the background. i don’t want to be that noticeably different, i’m already autistic.
i think it’s also weird bc since middle school have been having periodic gender crisises but they always end in me just getting embarrassed, finding transmeds on the internet and also getting embarresed, not wanting to stop being feminine, or deciding it’s just not worth it.
and i think another thing is, i’ve always felt more connected to girls, but always on the outskirts of that, but that might just be because i’m autistic. but like i’m feminine in the sense that i like dresses. and being taken care of that and that shit. girls tend to really fucking irk me a lot of the times. i don’t really feel “connected” to them, more like “stuck” with them but making the best of it. some are pretty cool :) tbh it’s mostly just other autistic or queer girls i vibe with. other than that.. i struggle a lot to feel connected.
speaking of being autistic.... i’m realizing a lot of what i’m feeling is similar to how i felt when i first started to consider that i was autistic. when i was alone or in a space i was totally comfy in, i felt very confident that i was autistic. but when i was around people, i was like no i’m definitely not. and even now. i know i mask whenever i’m not alone. but i’m literally so fucking used to it it’s not hard at all. it hardly feels like a mask. just a different version of me. not the most authentic, but it’s how i operate around others. so whatever. not what i like per say. but in most cases, i can deal with it and still be perfectly happy (ish). this is exactly how i feel about all of this gender shit.
but i think part of my hesitancy to identify like this is i’ve never met ppl irl who identify as non-binary. that wouldn’t be a group for me to find and relate to and be comfortable with, i’d just be the different one. and i’m already different. and people don’t really get neopronouns and that shit.
ok and i’m anxious about my boyfriend as well. he’s a straight guy, idk how he’d feel about me being non binary. but i don’t want to sacrifice our relationship, so it’d be fine, because i also like my name and pronouns now. i like the shortened version of my name better tbh but i think my name sounds cool. mostly because saying it is a vocal stim for me, same with my partners name fore some reason. i just think they’re good names. they feel good to hear and say. and i’ve always been described that way and i’m like yeah that’s me.
i like dresses. feminine clothes? yes pleaseee. i like how girl are generally the ones who get taken care of. i like feeling small and dainty. i like being silly and cute. but like ... silly and cute arent like “girl things”?? but idk.
but i like “girl”. not “ladies” or “woman”. that feels too much like “female” and the only time i feel like i relate to that at all is in very specific situations. i’m feminine. i like that. i wish i could be feminine in an androgynous way tho????????
TL;DR: closing thoughts. if i were the only person on earth and i could do whatever i wanted like magically. i would change my appearance to look like my picrew... but like for an ex think Crona from Soul Eater of Ed from Cowboy Bebop. both of them are androgynous but when i see both of them i’m like they’re kinda feminine too! like that’s what i want to look like. i’d probably go by Citrus and neopronouns and maybe she/her (they’re fine but i feel like i’m lying about being non binary when i use them). ya know. how i want to be. but in reality. i am scared of that. it sounds like a lot of work and a big change that i could probably never really achieve. i also hate change. and constantly explaining shit.
also do cis people PINE over this shit the way i am? i’ve done this multiple times for years. not consistently bc tbh i have other shit i need to spend energy on but when i’m not pouring energy into somewhere else i tend to circle back to this. maybe that’s a sign that i’m right.
#my post#citrus speaks#citrus gender crisis#long post#questioning demigirl#demigirl#nonbinary#questioning gender#gender questioning#terfs and transmeds literally do not even look in this posts direction#anyways. when i realized this is how i felt when i was realizing i was autistic shit kinda starting clicking and feeling more valid
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omg i sent an ask for the ship ask thingy a while ago but completely forgot about it (i assumed it never arrived??) but now i remember and still.. need ...to .. know... opinion on stisaac and allydia?
Hi Anon! Tumblr would betray me and not deliver your ask?? 😱😠 Rude. I did not receive the first, but I am happy to answer this one. Sorry it took me a bit (school’s got me super busy rn), but hopefully you’ll still see this!
Stisaac
I don’t really ship Stisaac tbh, so I haven’t given them tons of thought? It would take some convincing for me to ship them romantically because their relationship in canon just felt like pure hostility on both ends to me. I do, however, see some potential there with the banter (add in even a tiny sprinkle of affection and we have something to work with). If they were to have a relationship, I can’t see them being all that serious or committed to it, and I have a hard time seeing it as a very healthy dynamic. They’d be like...the pair that people think are dating? Maybe? It’s kind of hard to tell when the only things that ever come out of their mouths are insults with very little outward affection (even though they both care at least somewhat, they just won’t admit it).
I think their dynamic in general is interesting, though, because they’re only really in the same circle because of Scott. And (in my opinion) some of their hostility is because Scott’s in the middle of them; he’s always been close with Stiles, but he’s starting to really bond with Isaac too. Scott has always been Stiles’ best friend, and for a long time it was just the two of them, and now suddenly there are all these other people around. And that’s great! They could both use some friends. But Isaac is living in Scott’s house and suddenly just seems to be everywhere Scott is. Stiles already wasn’t all that fond of the guy and now he’s getting all chummy with Scott and Scott is all chummy with Isaac. And he hates it. And Isaac knows he does. But look, Isaac wasn’t big on Stiles either and with the clear chip on his shoulder and all the insults Isaac is happy to just deflect that bitchiness right back. He couldn’t care less about what Stiles thinks of him. He kind of wishes he wasn’t around so much, though, practically marking Scott as his best friend territory. What I’m trying to say is (whatever the nature of their respective relationships with Scott) there’s some jealousy here.
The form of their relationship I’m most on board with is begrudging friends who somehow end up paired off a lot and hate it, but kinda, sorta, maybe, a little bit have grown more fond of each other. But that’s a secret for the grave. They’re frenemies. And hey, sure, maybe they’re frenemies who get a little hot and bothered and make out once. It’s not a big deal, okay? Stiles threatens Isaac in his very morbidly specific way about telling anyone it happened. Isaac quips that it wasn’t good enough to be worth telling. And then casually announces it hours later, entirely too pleased with himself. Lydia and Allison are so over this before it even starts, but ultimately decide to fan the fire. Poor Scott is ready to bash his head in with these two fighting. Again. (Afterward he never lets Stiles live it down. After all, what are best friends for if not to mercilessly lovingly harass each other?) I’m rambling nonsense at this point. What I’m trying to say is I see them as essentially rivals turned friends-ish. I don’t ship them, but I’m discovering this dynamic would be fun to play with in the love/hate, bantering sort of way. I could potentially be convinced to read fic with them given the right premise, but couldn’t see it/wouldn’t want it in canon.
Allydia
Now, Allydia. I don’t even know how to describe my feelings on this ship! I feel mystified by it, honestly. They both just have such wlw energy so much of the time, and it’s a damn shame Lydia never got a girlfriend. I always loved both Allison and Lydia individually, and I did love their friendship! They were never a pair that I really gave much thought while watching the show (specifically ship-wise) but I remember seeing a gif set once outlining their relationship, and was kind of like “ok but why the fuck not??”
I love pretty much any iteration of them, canon-compliant and not. I ship them romantically, platonically, queerplatonically; in a polyamorous relationship, as friends who dated but decided they were better as friends and are super close/supportive exes, mutually pining, unilaterally pining; in different AU situations like... dark!Allydia, (both) supernatural!Allydia, (both) hunters!Allydia, non-supernatural world Allydia, etc. etc. I am 👀 intrigued about pretty much any idea. I do prefer a healthy dynamic, so that’s for sure a constraint, but mostly I just...am more or less indifferent to the form of Allydia I get as long as I get it somehow and they’re close and love each other, whatever kind of love it is. I get so emotional sometimes about how much they bonded, and especially about their relationship in season 3. That’s where it really seemed to blossom in a genuine, reciprocal way. In seasons 1 and 2 I do think Lydia and Allison cared about each other, but they were both so focused on portraying an image/persona that sometimes genuine care in that relationship got overshadowed by superficiality. And they are such a power couple too! Oh my godddd the strength and the confidence and the skill and the intelligence and the sass...incredible. I also cry whenever I think about Allison dying, and Lydia feeling it and screaming for her. I just....they were so connected and they loved each other and I am sad. I haven’t read fic for them before, but I certainly would if recommended a good one.
I think my overall preference for shipping Allydia is as a queerplatonic relationship--just “platonic” doesn’t seem to quite cover how they feel in the way that most people mean it, but there isn’t a romantic connection. (To be honest, Lydia strikes me as somewhere on the aromantic spectrum just in general.) But, yeah, no one quite understands them like the other does, and ultimately they want to go through life together. So they live together and build a life together. They’re open to date other people romanticlally/sexually (if either wants); they function as partners in every other way, just as they always have, really, since Lydia first spotted Allison and announced “You are my new best friend.” And maybe love at first sight does exist, but maybe it isn’t what everyone assumes it will be. Maybe there was something about that glance that said “come get to know me” and Lydia declared “I already do.” Maybe there’s so much focus on romantics that people miss it when true love in other forms passes them by. Not Lydia. She’s not one to let opportunities pass her, and, honestly, she isn’t one to wait for them to come along either. She creates her own; if she wants something she goes for it. She wants a relationship with Allison. She gets a relationship with Allison. And hey, it works out wonderfully. No one is impaled by a sword, and they live out their long, happy life together. Yep. It’s decided.
(Send me ships and I’ll tell you if/how I ship them!)
#ty for the ask! <33 hoping my answer didn't come so late you miss it anon#Anonymous#Allydia#Stisaac#Stiles Stilinski#Isaac Lahey#Allison Argent#Lydia Martin#Ask Games
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(1) Hey! So sorry for replying late, a lot has happened these past couple of days D: but I hope you've been doing good! (I say as if I've been gone for months aksjdf) anyway, yeah, they're definitely scary. I think it'll be worth being able to be that soft and open with someone though. And I'm glad it did have a positive impact on you! Even if they were hard you came out stronger or wiser in some way. And thank you, you're so sweet :') So do you hon ❤️
hey honeymoon! sorry for taking my time to respond, i hope everything’s been alright with you!
(2) Terushima really does just seem like a big dork who loves volleyball haha. I feel like his initial vibe would make me not want to interact v much lol but once you get to know him he's actually a good person. and that tongue piercing tho 👀. "that one definitely hurts a lot more than Falling does" then I think I'm good for awhile hahaha. I've already read a sad hospital AU so I'm going to stay FAR away for now. Honestly I wish there was an interesting story behind it but there's not :')
(3) basically I had an art blog and the name of it was kind of a pun with the word "honeydew." but that nickname was already taken and I wanted to be ~original~ sso I didn't want to use it lol. I still liked the honey aspect though and I thought Honeymoon sounded cute. I'm also kind of a secret hopeless romantic and at the time I kept my identity on my art blog a secret, so it kind of felt like an "alter ego" of mine? long story short I liked the nickname and it kinda stuck haha
ok i mean, to be fair, he was super aggressive when he was meeting kiyoko. but i definitely feel like there’s that dorky side to him LMAO.
oooof idk if I can handle any angst rn tbh so i can definitely relate 😭
that’s honestly such a cute story though??? like, that’s literally so freakin’ adorable. what type of art did you use to do? (and honestly girl, this whole blog is on the DL and i tried super hard to keep it hidden from my life LOL).
there’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic though! it gives you a chance to day-dream hehe 💞 what’s your favorite romantic trope? it could be as cliche or non-cliche as you’d like!
(4) "i’m sorry for being a sadistic fk 🥰" 😀 something tells me you're kind of not LOL (really though I know you're sweet and don't actually want to hurt people akdhf) and honestly I'm glad you decided to expand on it! Chapter one is also great as a standalone but I'm so grateful for the rest so far, and you're doing an amazing job with it love 💖 I understand the chara x chara thing. I don't know if I've ever actually shipped anything to the point of me /wanting/ it to be canon
(6) like, it'd be cool if it was, but I don't actually care y'know? unless it was actual romantic tension built up in the movie/book/series. Fanart and fic is what mostly got me lol. I think the HQ fandom is super diverse/creative in its shipping. Not only because of an incredible story with great characters, but great fans and creators as well. And yes! someone else who likes KuroIwa!! I think that ship is really cute (and they're my top 2 faves so I'm biased haha) have you seen neutinya's art?
i swear i’m nice 💞 thank you so much for the love!! 🥺 i’ve been having writer’s block for a bit, and your comments have honestly motivated me to write so much more for it LOL
i definitely agree though, like, i can’t aggressively fight for one ship over another because it’s literally just not canon. it just feels wrong to “shove that agenda”, so to speak. but it’s always interesting to see all the different character combinations. i never would’ve imagined half of the ones out there if not for this fandom LOL
neutinya’s literally why I have a thing for KuroIwa!! LMAO. i really like the art that they put out. same with bright_stars_45 on IG. Their stuff is literally why i ship Bokuaka soooo hard.
(7) (did I skip 5?) I really hope I'm numbering those right it's 12:30 am here lol. anyway, it's probably a good thing you weren't in the fandom then. I don't know how it is now, but it was p chaotic and toxic and there was actually controversy surrounding one of those fics. I'm sorry about you and your sister love :( I don't know if you'd ever want to have a strong one with her but I hope you do if you do! and if not then there will always be people you share that with, blood or not 💕
LOL you did skip 5, but it’s okay bby 💖 it’s not too serious tbh. i’m not really close to my family, so i’ve always believed in the “my family is the one’s i choose, not necessarily the one’s i’m blood-related to” :)
(8) Piglet has always been my fave, but Eeyore and Lumpy are also great. do you have any favorite characters or ones that mean a lot to you? and that's really cool too!! I know being mixed can get super complicated but knowing you have all of those cultures in you in some way is pretty amazing. Honestly I've been undecided for the past 2 years but after everything going on in 2020, I've felt this need to release the truth? no matter what that may be. I know a lot of people say journalism
(9) isn't an honest profession but, and this will sound arrogant, I want to change that. Even if that just means me being an independent journalist while being an editor to make a living, I'm okay with that. Also it can give you the opportunity to travel, and writing has always been my strong suit. socio is so I can have a better understanding of the world and learn to be less biased and more objective and understanding. What about you? :O
my favorite Disney character is honestly Tiana from Princess and the Frog! her hard-working story is hella relatable to me, and it inspired me to be better for myself if that makes sense?
TBH the most annoying part of being mixed is being called eXoTiC by guys who are tryna sleep with me 💀 there’s definitely a lot of fetishization about it lol
i hella respect that! the need to release the truth. journalism is honestly a raw and authentic profession that people underestimate because they read from biased sources or the things they read isn’t accurate. i have mad respect for you for following that career path! if there’s anything i could do to help, lmk love 💖 TBH, i chose business because i wanted to open my own business and i love psych because i love understanding the world and the people in my lives. psycho-analysing is one of my hobbies hehe. so similar as to why you did socio!
(10) and yes!!!! tbh I've always liked theatre but was never really one for the stage. I was in a child friendly version of macbeth in 6th grade and that was it lol. In my senior year of high school I performed a slam poem about my depression and my teacher called me emotionally constipated lmaoo. and because of how hs went down for me I never got to take classes anyway. I started getting into sfx/film makeup though and I really want to do that! I also just love the energy of backstage tbh
(11) this is getting really long akfdjh. but yeah I want to learn more! I'm actually kind of struggling in my stage management class right now because I honestly don't know much about theatre so it's overwhelming. I haven't even seen a lot of shows (I did see The Lion King when I was a kid though!! and a few hs productions). enough about me though, what's your favorite part, or what are some of your best memories? I love seeing that it makes you so happy :D
omg i’m so sorry that your teacher called you that. that’s so inappropriate, especially considering the subject matter. i hope that you’ve had a more positive experience involving your work since then. if you ever want to talk about your struggle, please feel free to reach out, ok?
you must be pretty talented with makeup though! that’s so cool 🤩 i’ve always admired sfx and people who are talented with makeup tbh. what’s your favorite part about it so far?
i was fortunate enough that my hs had a super talented theatre program that i could be a part of. i had the opportunity to be in both tech, management, and on-stage. i honestly really enjoyed being behind-the-scenes in the management part! it was so great seeing a production from start to finish and knowing that i was involved with that process. i’m a huge theatre nerd tbh 😅 i love watching shows like Phantom of the Opera, Hamilton, RENT and I’ll routinely watch them haha.
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ITS 4:30 AM AND I DONT FEEL LIKE SLEEPING so I’m gonna do this meme that i got tagged for twiCE and totally forgot to do til now!!!! (i had 2 dig through your blogs to find them omg)
ANYWAY i was tagged by both @mooitstimdrake and @cynessie (I MISS U BOTH BTW ❤)
RULES: Share 11 facts about yourself, answer 11 questions provided by the tagger, tag 11 awesome people and leave 11 questions for them to answer!
(I’m gonna skip tagging people/asking 11 questions - 1) because I’m lazy 2) because a lot of people who I would tag either have already been tagged or woN’T DO IT and 3) I have to answer two sets of 11 questions anyway so I’ll let one of those sets take the place of my 11 questions!!)
11 Facts
I was supposed to leave to move into my college 3 days ago but since my college is in Savannah they pushed off move-in/orientation for a weEK BECAUSE OF HURRICANE IRMA AND I’M STILL UPSET/DISAPPOINTED
That being said I’m about to start as a college freshman at art school, planning on majoring in animation! :D
I binged all of Buzzfeed Unsolved in like 2 days and I fuckin LOVE IT
Also BNHA is like my current main obsession???? I fell in love w that anime and uhhhh I’d Die For My Kids
I almost never use skype anymore - I’m always on Discord now (mutuals may add me just message me if you want my tag :3c)
I loooove creating OCs and my main OC is a forest elf named Rally and he’s precious and I LOVE HIM AND COULD TALK ABOUT HIM FOR HOURS (also my best friend @/harpxer and I have a huge ongoing rp with him and her mountain elf oc, Kahl!! they’re really gay)
Hmmm fun fact I guess I’ve been involved with internet communities since I was 10 years old and I made my very first internet friend when I was 10 and we’re still great friends and talk p much every day to this day (hi @/fiishr)
I want a tattoo super bad but idk what I’d geT
I worked at a jewelry engraving stand at an amusement park this summer and one night I accidentally gave myself a 1st degree burn on my finger from the hot glue gun and it hurt So Bad
I had my graduation party this July and it was really fun but the best part was when 14 of us played this giant game of spoons and it got really intense, made worse by people randomly screaming during it, and then we collectively decided to blast hardcore rap music from the speakers and Let Me Tell You i have not been involved in a more stressful card game in my LIFE
I’ll always always always fall for the hero/happy character/protagonist basically....idk what it is about me but I’m so Predictable...I love cute optimistic brave characters who just wanna do Right.....I don’t cARE IF PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE BORING I THINK THEY’RE PERFECT AND AMAZIGN AND I LOVE THEM
AS FOR AN EXTRA 12TH FACT ABOUT ME AS U CAN SEE I WRITE WAY TOO MUCH AND ALSO I’M THE BIGGEST OVERSHARER E V E R IT’S SO BAD SOMEONE STOP ME
ANYWAY ONTO THE QUESTIONS :3c
@mooitstimdrake‘s Questions:
If you were to make a new blog dedicated to one single thing (fandom, hobby/activity, etc) what would it be? Honestly, right at the moment probably BNHA!!!! it’s legit my most recent big obsession and I love it?? so much???
If you could have any kind of animal as a pet, what would you have? A RACCOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SOSOSOSOSOS MUCH and some people actually do have them as pets! They can be difficult though but WORTH IT
Who was your favorite teacher and why were they your favorite? OH BOY......I’m gonna say it’s a tie between my AP studio art teacher and my AP US government teacher from this past year, my senior year! My AP art teacher because our class was super tiny, 12 kids, and it really felt like a family?? She was a-okay with letting us all goof around and say weird shit, she was really chill and funny and like. part teacher, part friend, which was always nice. As for my AP gov teacher, he was SO. FUCKING. FUNNY. OH MAN. NOT EVEN ON PURPOSE he just like? put up with SO MUCH? we had some real character kids in that class and my teacher’s reactions were HILARIOUS. he had a sarcastic streak too so his responses were equally as funny when someone did something weird. He would say the funniest stuff just ask @/harpxer I would tell her so many stories from that class sohboshrb. Aside from the humor that class was really interesting, and he’s a really good, invested teacher - he wanted us to learn, he’s super passionate about government and history, and he always started off each class with 2 current events which was really nice and helped me learn more about things happening in the world too!!! overall that was like my fav non-art class I’ve ever taken!!!!
What’s your guilty pleasure (and I’m challenging you not to say some kind of food)? HMMMMM. Honestly I’m gonna go ahead and say really cheesy or lame movies/shows (like, Disney channel movies, dumb shows - like the one summer I watched all of Glee LOL, stuff like that). Like yeah I know 90% of it is terRIBLE but it’s still amusing/lighthearted stuff that makes me happy KLSDJVLSDHB
Favorite pizza topping? EXTRA CHEESE IF THAT COUNTS, if not then pepperoni!!
What’s the last thing you bought (that wasn’t food)? I’ve actually been buying a lot the past few weeks in prep for college/spending a little money for ONCE since I worked all summer. I got a bunch of boring stuff but the things I’m most excited about are: two posters I got for my dorm (The Office is one and one is Lord Huron), a giant wall tapestry (it’s Up themed!!!), tWO BNHA/POKEMON CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM I START CRYING BC THEYRE SO CUTE, and oh my GOD I BOUGHT THIS GIANT PILLOW FROM TARGET AND IT IS THE SINGLE SOFTEST THING I’VE EVER FELT AND IT’S HUGE AND IT IMMEDIATELY BECAME MY #1 COMFORT OBJECT AND TOP FIVE FAV THINGS IVE EVER BOUGHT!!!!!! I guess MOST recently though I just bought Clip Studio Paint online today (art program) since it’s on sale for 50% off and I’ve heard great things about it!
What upcoming movies/tv shows are you looking forward to? UHHHHH as for movies... justice league part 1, the incredibles 2, kingsman 2, the neW POKEMON MOVIE I CHOOSE YOU, probably a lot more I can’t remember rn. AS FOR SHOWS HMMM I’m...excited for the next season of the good place and izombie, and oh I’m excited for the punisher netflix show!! and the next season of voltron of COURSE!!! and next season of stranger things!! probably more I’m forgetting too tbh
Any recommendations (this could be anything just throw your best pitch at me)? JFISDJKLBJ I DON’T KNOW OMG tbh rachel you watch a lot of the same things I do already LMAOOO
What’s your favorite thing to wear that you own? OH FUCK I DUNNO HMMM I really like wearing my various leggings and scarves, but as like a Single Item....I like wearing....uhhhh I have this giANT sweater like it’s WAY too big for me but it’s so COMFY and I love it. I also love wearing my Star Labs sweatshirt bc it’s soft and comfortable
What was your first pet? my cat!!! we took her in as a stray kitten living in our backyard when I was like. 2 or 3 and so we’ve basically had her my whole life!!
If you could learn any language, what would it be? UHHHHHH honestly probably spanish - I took it 4 straight years and was okay at it in class but one year went by with me not taking it and I forgot everything LOOOL I’m...bad....at languages....
@cynessie‘s Questions:
Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been? I haven’t been many cool places :( I guess the coolest isssss I dunno it depends? Lake George is where I go on vacation every year, I LOVE NYC, I love Savannah too and it’s where I’m gonna be for college so?? ?? ? ? I’VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND I’M SAD BUT I’M POOR AND CAN’T AFFORD IT
What was the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up? veterinarian!!
Look to your right. What do you see? a dirty plate on my desk, my bed just past that, and my CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY THAT ARE SO CUTE I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THEM
What are you procrastinating on? ajkldjboidj lik e 4 art commissions,,,, and 7 MAP parts,,,, and my pre-work for 2 of my classes,,,,,,,and cleaning my room,,,, and sending thank-you notes to relatives,,, SOMEONE KICK MY ASS AND MAKE ME DO SHIT
Which family member are you closest too and what is their name? UHHHH.... I guess my younger brother Luke? or maybe my mom? I’m not on bad terms with anyone though, I love both my older brothers too and we all have a good sibling relationship I just talk more with my younger bro I think - second closest would be with my second older brother Connor!
What’s the last song you listened to? I’m listening to Ultralife by Oh Wonder right now :3c I’ve been on a huUUGE Oh Wonder kick lately!!
What do you generally carry in your bag/pockets when you go out? my wallet (w my license and money and debit card and all), travel size lotion, phone, and chap stick!!
What is one thing you are excited for? FINALLY GETTING TO COLLEGE NEXT WEEK AND STARTING CLASSES FJIODFHINBDFHBNSBO
Do you believe in ghosts? I’m gonna hesitantly say YES but I’m not 100% convinced I don’t think
What is a skill you want to learn? MAYBE THIS IS WEIRD but I think learning how to act would be kinda neat. On a more realistic note I wish I could learn to exercise without dying
Tell me a joke. I’M BAD AT JOKES DON’T DO THIS TO ME NESSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO YEAH THAT’S ALL FOLKS it’s 5am now...Nice..... :’) I love my ability to stay up obscenely late while also getting Nothing Done JLSDNVDHAGHVDLAK
#about me#my life#hell ya i havent done one of these in a while but it was FUN#sorry for not tagging anyone......im lazy.............
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1 through 100 for the question time?
oh man this is gonna keep me busy, thank you anon
1.) is there a boy/girl in your life?
*** sadly no, I've been single for like 3 years now
2.) think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
*** yes! I generally try to forgive most ppl because I h a t e being angry w ppl
3.) what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
*** there was a girl in middle school that always stared me down and meowed at me at lunch???
4.) what’s something you really want right now?
*** strawberry lemonade from O’Charley’s
5.) are you afraid of falling in love?
*** thank god no, I love loving people
6.) do you like the beach?
*** yeah my fam goes every year for vacay and we spread my brothers ashes in the ocean and stuff so it’s comforting to go bc it’s like he’s still with me??
7.) have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
*** tried to, but I have a lot of problems falling asleep so it didn't work out too well
8.) what’s the background on your cell?
*** my lock screen is me and a best friend and my home bg is a pic of ventus
9.)name the last four beds you were sat on?
***my sisters, my moms, faith’s, and Ryder’s if you count being sat on by dogs (I think thats what the question is asking lmao??)
10.) do you like your phone?
*** most of the time, yeah. the calls get messed up a lot tho and the battery sucks
11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?
*** god no, it’d be weird if they were. I'm doing much much better in life than I originally expected
12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
*** probs the girls from my DBT therapy group
13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
*** omg Rottweiler for sure,,, I love big doggies and they're such big babies
14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
*** I can't really answer this because they’re both felt in different ways
15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
*** I've never been to an art museum so id have to say zoo for now
16: are you tired?
*** heck yea my mom lost my sleep medication, I'm so tired to the point where I'm listening to Soulja boy and I'm not sure if its real or not
17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?
*** like???? 15 years??
18: are they a relative?
*** nope just my sisters friend
19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
*** someone please kill me if I ever get back with one of my exes
20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
*** honestly I can’t remember, probably like last month?
21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
*** nonono I'm nowhere near ready to settle down in life like that. I'm only 19 and like I've never even had a job and I don't have my license and shit,,, def not ready for marriage
22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
*** yeah he was a good kisser, too bad I barely remember it lmao
23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
*** 2 a hair tie and a friendship bracelet
24: is there a certain quote you live by?
*** Donald Duck going “WAK!”
25: what’s on your mind?
*** what happened to Kevin Jonas
26: do you have any tattoos?
*** no but I was planning on getting one soon as tribute to my brother
27: what is your favorite color?
*** yellow!! its so happy and bright
28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
*** heck idk no one ever seems interested in me so like?? its up to them bc I'm down to kiss like 90% of the people I know
29: who are you texting?
*** my boi Ryder bc he's coming over to give me birthday stuff
30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
***nope, only a car
31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
*** I low key knew that my brother was gonna die the day he did but I didn't say anything to anyway bc I just blamed it on my anxiety
32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
*** heck yeah, I got a couple thankfully
33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?
*** lmao ryder
34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
*** yes! my eyes turn literally yellow in the summer and its p cool
35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
*** I'd be like “hell yeah I'm proud of u for getting action”
36: were you single on valentines day?
*** have been my whole life
37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?
*** yes but I rarely talk to him anymore
38: what do your friends call you?
*** karl, car keys, Karls, kar, karlie warlie
39: has anyone upset you in the last week?
*** does myself count lmao
40: have you ever cried over a text?
*** probably
41: where’s your last bruise located?
*** the tops of my feet
42: what is it from?
*** dancing! you get bruises in weird places from dance lmao
43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
*** idk if this really counts but we went out to eat last night which is really triggering for me and I was like “I just want to go home and see my doggie”
44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?
***my sister on accident
45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
*** fav bc of looks are my white doc Martens but I wear my black converse most of the time
46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
*** no I look dumb in hats
47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?
*** honestly no just bc I like to have the mermaid hair effect when I’m in the bath or swimming
48: do you make supper for your family?
*** only if its like pizza rolls or smthn
49: does your bedroom have a door?
*** yes???
50: top 3 web-pages?
*** Tumblr, youtube and Facebook
51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?
*** my mom bc she hates going out in public
52: does anything on your body hurt?
*** my wrist!! I have a cyst in my joint and it hurts to move it too much
53: are goodbyes hard for you?
*** yes bc I have a huge fear of abandonment
54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
*** strawberry lemonade
55: how is your hair?
*** its kinda short atm, I just got it cut and I'm mad bc its just the right length where only half of my hair goes into a ponytail
56: what do you usually do first in the morning?
*** pee tbh
57: do you think two people can last forever?
*** I mean I guess
58: think back to january 2007, were you single?
*** considering. was 8, yes
59: green or purple grapes?
*** depends on my mood tbh
60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?
*** in like 10 minutes when Ryder is here
61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
*** not really but I wouldn't particularly mind if I was somewhere else
62: when will be the next time you text someone?
*** like rn
63: where will you be 5 hours from now?
*** in my living room talking to Ryder
64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.
*** pretending to be asleep
65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?
***probably faith idk but thankfully thats faded by now
66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
*** ryder and my sister tbh
67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?
*** my mom always hugs me good morning
68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
*** “god I wish I could fall asleep”
69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
*** did you mean: my entire dance career?
70: how many windows are open on your computer?
*** 5!
71: how many fingers do you have?
*** thankfully I got all 10
72: what is your ringtone?
*** the default iPhone ringtone, I've never bothered to change it but I want my text ringtone to be the thing from Kim possible
73: how old will you be in 5 months?
*** 19
74: where is your mum right now?
*** in my sister’s room helping her build a desk
75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
*** bc he's an abusive piece of shit (:
76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
*** sadly no ):
77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
*** definitely not
78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
*** a dude named Zac but he was a terrible person lmao
79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?
*** my aunt's pos boyfriend
80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
*** no ):
81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?
*** not really anyone worth noting
82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
*** probably
83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?
*** I don't really like anyone atm
84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
*** probably Bria or faith tbh
85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?
*** I think it’d depend on what it was and if it was effecting them in an unhealthy way or not
86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
*** I threw up 20 mins into Spiderman homecoming
87: who was your last received call from?
*** my sister
88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
*** I think it'd depend on what I needed the money for and how bad I needed it
89: what is something you wish you had more of?
*** friends
90: have you ever trusted someone too much?
*** all the time. I love trusting people but it gets me hurt a lot
91: do you sleep with your window open?
*** I wish but I got them allergies
92: do you get along with girls?
*** for the most part yes!
93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
*** yeah but its not worth telling them right now, gotta wait till the right time
94: does sex mean love?
*** nope!
95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
*** no but I might have a hard time trying to find things to talk about
96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
*** yeah I didn't really like it tbh
97: did you sleep alone this week?
*** always
98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
*** yes! my sister and ryder
99: do you believe in love at first sight?
*** no bc then you're just falling in love with the persons looks and not the actual person
100: who was the last person that you pinky promise
*** my mom but I don't remember what for
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All the asks.
Aaaaah tysm!!!!!
Sunrise or sunset?
Sunset. I prefer the colours and also not being awake so early!
Are you mentally ill?
Yeah I have depression but whatevs
Are you physically ill?
Chronically my dude. I have IBS and EDS type 3
What is the most expensive thing you have bought?
A plane ticket for nearly £1000 lmao! It took me working 3 jobs for over a year but it was worth it.
Do you have a job?
Not atm but I’ll get one in a few months.
Are you in school?
Noooooo!! I finally finished sixth form in June. I’m finally free!! (I’m so happy I won’t have to see half those people again ngl)
Are you a dropout?
Nah
Are you in college?
Assuming this means uni, then no, but I will be in october.
Introvert or extrovert?
I have?? No idea?? I’m shy af and really quiet but I do like meeting new people.
What do you think when you look at your body?
I don’t really think much at all anymore, which is an improvement tbh. I just sort of see it but don’t process it.
What have others said when they look at your body?
I’ve had a lot of not-so-supportive comments about my body from a lot of people. Most people tell me I’m too thin, that I’m unattractive, that I should get surgery for one reason or another. Idk. I don’t expect much more tbh.
Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply?
Hoo boi I have a whole playlist of songs that mean something to me.
Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive?
It was 2, maybe 3 weeks ago now XD I was roadtripping around America with my best friend @only-slightly-dangerous and it was the happiest I’ve ever been. We were care free and the world was beautiful and there were so many new things to see and do. I wish I was back there.
Are you confident wearing a bikini?
Not at all, I’ll avoid it at all costs.
Can you look people in the eyes while talking?
See, I don’t have a conscious issue with it. I don’t mind eye contact that much. But I usually subconsciously end up looking away, especially if I’m thinking deeply about something/trying to remember something.
Has anything terrible happened to you?
Depends on your definition of terrible. But yeah, a couple of things have really fucked me up.
Has anything wonderful happened to you?
I met the best person in my life at the worst time in my life. The chances of it happening were ridiculously slim; I still can’t get my head around it.
Favorite part of your personality?
I don’t know. My patience or my sense of humor?
Least favorite part of your personality?
How easily I become jealous of others. Or maybe my need to be in control. I’m working on both of them though.
Favorite part of your body?
....my legs? I’m told theyre p good?
Least favorite part of your body?
Maybe my face? Maybe my chest. Idk, I don’t critique it often.
Favorite quote?
“The sun will rise and we will try again”. There are others I like, but that’s the first that comes to mind.
Do you have friendships with all genders?
I have a crippling fear of men so most my close friends are with girls. Though again, I’m working on it.
Do you have a good relationship with your father?
I didn’t used to so much, but I think it’s improved a lot over the past few years.
Do you have a good relationship with your mother?
It’s complicated. I don’t really wanna go into it rn
Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?
I don’t have any sibs, kinda wish I did though
Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member?
Yuuup
Have you ever had a near death experience?
Nope
Do you know anyone who has taken their own life?
Yeah. I used to talk to a girl on here and for months we held a pact of staying alive for each other. But she gave up (I kind of understood though). That was rough.
Have you ever tried to take your own life?
...whatever I answer this with feels like a lie
Biggest lie you have told?
I canny remember lmao
Do you follow any conspiracies?
I haven’t read much into many conspiracies, ngl. But there was something strange about how those twin towers fell down...
Do you believe in a New World Order?
Never heard of it. Gonna google it though.
Do you respect your government and the way your country is run?
Not at all. The tories can kiss my butt. They’re barely human.
Is there currently any strife in your country?
Meh, nothing too bad.
Have you ever been displaced within your country?
Nope, thankfully.
Are your friendships healthy?
The ones I have left are lmao! I’ve been doing a lot of cutting off in the past year, but it seems to have worked out pretty well.
Are you currently fighting with a friend?
No
Are you jealous of a friend? Why?
No. Their achievements don’t diminish my own. I want them all to succeed.
Do you believe in the Illuminati?
As much as I’m here for the meme, I don’t actually know much about it.
Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who?
See previous.
How can people tell you are nervous?
Um, I don’t know. I try not to let on. Depending on the situation I might ask a lot of questions about it or just be very talkative in general. Also not being able to sit still.
How can people tell you are sad?
I don’t tend to talk as much or with as much enthusiasm. I also tend to “zone out” a lot if I’m feeling really down. Sometimes I’ll just give up on conversations all together and refuse to make any more effort than the other person is doing.
Do you ever express your true feelings?
I...think so. Yeah. I sometimes dilute them when I express them, but I rarely keep a feeling contained completely. That destroys me.
Regrets in your life?
Not standing up for myself more.
Achievements in your life?
I won a couple of things when I was younger (basketball tournaments, painting competitions) also I do well in school ig?
What did people say about you in school?
I mean, I’m sure I never heard all of it. The general consensus seemed to be everyone hated me for being “stuck up” and for doing okay at tests. Idk.
What did you say about people in school?
Depended on the person lmao! I wasn’t a big fan of many people in my year, but I didn’t really hate any of them as much as they thought.
Is there something you have never told anyone?
yh
Have you committed an illegal act?
I mean, piracy, that’s it.
If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it?
I’d buy a house somewhere nice, a plane ticket and a holiday. Then I’d give a decent amount to everyone I know. The rest I’d give to charity.
What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18?
I cant even remember what my aspirations were yesterday?? I’ve pretty much always wanted to do something to do with science, though it’s varied which parts of it.
Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined?
It aint happened.
Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household?
Low to average I’d say? My mums a single parent but we do okay.
Are you from a broken marriage?
My parents are divorced yah
Have you been raised by a solo parent?
Sort of? Officially speaking yeah.
Do you know both your parents?
Yup
What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have?
Brown eyes, blonde hair and white skin.
Have you abused drugs or alcohol?
No. I’ve drunk when I probably should have just talked about my feelings though.
What languages can you speak?
I speak english and a reasonable level of spanish. I’m also learning danish atm.
Do you conform to your societies standards?
Idk, I guess not.
Do you cry often?
Lmao, a lot more often than most people yeah. I’ve a very emotional person.
Do you tell people what you think of them?
Only the good parts.
Are you comfortable accepting compliments?
Not at all, it always feels like a lie.
Are you comfortable giving compliments?
Oh yeah! If I’m thinking something good about someone I’ll let them know!
Is any mental illness hindering your life?
Depression. It’s a bugger.
Is any physical illness hindering your life?
To a normal person it might seem it, but I’ve just kind of adapted to my illnesses so I can live life as normally as possible now.
Do you keep up with current events?
I try to I suppose. I haven’t so much recently though ngl.
What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read?
This feels like a test....idk
What have you done today?
Slept, eaten, watched netflix, scrolled through tumblr.
Do you sleep well?
Sometimes
Do you sleep badly?
Sometimes
Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting?
Who on earth remembers their past with such clarity?? I mean, it’s possible yeah. But I couldn’t tell you who or when and it’s not something I’m proud of.
Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting?
Search me. That isn’t usually the first thing I ask someone when they hurt me.
Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why?
Yeah, a couple. Especially friendships if people have been more trouble than they’re worth and they’ve become someone who regularly hurts me.
Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves?
I’ve talked a few people down from suicide, but I don’t know how many of them are doing rn unfortunately.
Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself?
My best friend.
Do you like your laugh?
I don’t hate it, but I do worry it annoys other people.
Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind?
Lmfao no I’m not prepared for anything!!
Do you have any funny family stories?
Not really, not that I can remember.
Are you religious?
Nah
Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies?
Yeah lmao, ngl I love a good true crime show
Are you interested in cults?
...I guess I wouldn’t be adverse to finding out more about them
Would you like to raise a family in your country?
I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst place in the world to do it, but I plan on moving to another country before I consider doing that.
List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got?
I don’t know?? I was just grateful for the things I did have.
Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling?
Lmfao yeah 18 years and counting
Are you from a blended family?
Yup
Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not?
Yeah I once saw a married person with my own two eyes.
What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you?
“You are my favourite person.”
Do you keep a journal?
In a way? I have a blog that acts as a journal and also a scrapbook
Would anyone be hurt by reading it?
Probably. I think about that a lot.
Do you have children?
Nope
Have you been pregnant?
Nopety nope
List your favorite movies?
In no particular order:
-Deadpool -My Sisters Keeper -Mamma Mia -Hot Fuzz -The Life of Brian -The Lovely Bones -Pitch Perfect 2
List your favorite people?
They know who they are.
Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body?
Umm, I have a birthmark on my neck which I always think would be cool if it showed how I died in a previous life.
Do you look after yourself?
Most of the time yeah
Do you put yourself or others first?
I put others first almost all the time. I couldn’t bare not to.
Are you happy today?
I mean,,, I was cut open and zipped back up 2 days ago so I’ve felt better lmao!
Are you loved?
Contrary to what my anxiety wants me to believe, I think I actually might be by a few people.
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the sweetest omegle convo i’ve ever had
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!
You both like the regrettes.
You: hi!
Stranger: hiii
You: skjakjf my search for the regrettes has never turned up anything until now
You: im so excitel lol
Stranger: RIGHT
Stranger: same
Stranger: wait are u from twitter lmao
You: we are a small but proud fanbase
You: no i am not
Stranger: oh damn
Stranger: even crazier then
Stranger: so true
You: do u have any other socials
Stranger: I have insta! what's urs
You: phoebelink.art
You: hbu? i'll follow u
Stranger: omg I love ur acc
Stranger: I just followed u <3
You: thanks!
Stranger: :))))
You: don't be alarmed if i start peeping thru ur posts to see what other music u listen to i'm desperae for new artists
Stranger: omg no ur ok!!
Stranger: do u want rec
Stranger: recs
You: love them but u can only listen to the regrettes and swmrs for so long
You: yes pls!
Stranger: do u...like wallows
You: yes
You: they are coming to my state in august for a festival and i'm so excited
Stranger: oh shit
Stranger: wait what fest is in august
Stranger: I thought they were all earlier
You: hinterlands
Stranger: where's that
You: it is mostly country music but there's some indie shit
You: it's in iowa so it's all hicks lol but i will suffer to we wallows live
Stranger: oh shit
Stranger: why have I not heard about this
Stranger: im so confused rn
You: idk
You: it's a smaller sort of festival and it's like in a cornfield
Stranger: damn
Stranger: im bout to go
You: bet lol
Stranger: im like the biggest wallows stan its so bad
You: ahaha
You: the real question is did it happen before or after 13 reasons whyg?
Stranger: when I stanned?
You: ya
Stranger: they actually didn't even become wallows until right after 13rw
Stranger: but
You: oh whoops
Stranger: it was after, but I've never even seen it
You: got it that's more what i meant lol
Stranger: I started liking them through a mutual friend
You: valid
Stranger: if u have never seen them, they're the best
You: i'm not a stan but i do really like their music
You: i have not seen them live but i'm a huge regrettes stan
Stranger: gotcha
Stranger: as u should be
Stranger: tbh maybe Lydia will go!
You: i fucking hope
Stranger: she goes to a lot of shows w them
Stranger: bro
Stranger: speaking of her
Stranger: at my wallows show last month I like saw her and waved at her n then she came and sat behind me
You: WHAT
Stranger: like literally. right behind me
Stranger: and I was too scared to say anything
Stranger: :)
Stranger: every time she would laugh she'd like laugh in my ear
Stranger: cutest laugh ever bro
Stranger: her and
Stranger: whoops
You: i saw her live in cleaveland this summer and if corona doesn't cancel it i intend to see them when they tour with the struts
Stranger: wait
Stranger: when is that happening
You: this summer
You: their site has all the dates
Stranger: wtf
Stranger: I didn't know they had us dates
You: they updated it i think cause coachella is getting moved im pretty sure
You: they're just opening but i am for sure buying pit tickets and i will ahve to learn to love the struts haha
Stranger: oh shit
Stranger: wait
Stranger: theres only like 3 dates
You: if they cancelled i will be very sad
Stranger: :( which one are u supposed to go to
Stranger: thats how I feel about my wallows shows, I think they're gonna be postponed/cancelled
You: the one on may 31
You: for me it is still on the site
Stranger: oh damn
Stranger: that might be ok
Stranger: I think wallows cancelled their show for may 31
Stranger: they took itoff their website but haven't said anything
You: hmmm
You: we must hope for the best i guess
You: a mosh pit does seem like a prime place to catch corona tho lmao
Stranger: tbh I don't care
Stranger: which is probably bad
Stranger: but lile
You: it would be worth it
Stranger: idk my only happiness comes from touring so
You: yeah i have plenty of bands who i love but they kind of stay in place they don't really tour
Stranger: damn really
You: and unfortunataly i don't live in cali so i can't ever see them live
Stranger: felt
Stranger: I wish I lived in cali so bad
You: and that's on only liking grunge surf punk bads
Stranger: were u like a stan when they did the Fonda show afterparty homecoming thing
Stranger: I've never had such bad fomo in my life
You: i don't think so
Stranger: oh my god
Stranger: it was crazy
You: usually i don't like concerts cause they make me disociate lol but i just let it happen for lydia night
Stranger: oh shit really
Stranger: I love shows
You: no like they are very fun
You: it just is like an out of body experience haha
Stranger: damn
Stranger: idk I never have that
You: it's like an anxiety thing i think
You: it just happens it's kinda odd
Stranger: it's weird I have like bad anxiety about most things but somehow I have like none at concerts
Stranger: like im just the best possible version of myself idk
You: i feel that
You: like in certain situtions i definitely just don't feel it at all
Stranger: right
You: there are so many bands i would give a limb to see live thouhg
You: like one of my all-time favs is SWMRS ugh love them
Stranger: yupppppp I love
You: and hot flash heat wave opened for the regrettes when i saw them live
You: so good
Stranger: omg stop
Stranger: im jealous
You: but i have a whole list of bands to see live on my bucket list
Stranger: I feel like I've lucked out and I've seen almost all of the people I want to see
Stranger: well like all of my favorites
You: that's nice
Stranger: that being said im crazy so I like to see people 5+ times but
You: my main thing is i'm kind of new to the genre like only been super into it for two years but
You: that is still fun tho
Stranger: oh gotcha
Stranger: wait how old are u
You: 16
Stranger: oh and u said u live in Iowa right so I feel like maybe not a lot of people go there
Stranger: aw ur baby
You: ahaha
You: the alt scene is very dead here
Stranger: true
Stranger: tbh no one comes to my state either
Stranger: bc its so far out of the way
You: what kind of area are u in
Stranger: florida
You: ah
You: so the opposite of cali lmao
Stranger: yup
Stranger: yet im prob gonna go to cali when wallows have a show there
Stranger: lmao
You: wirth it
Stranger: yes
Stranger: I also might go for harry styles but idk yet
You: he's coming to iowa i think but i might b wrong
Stranger: omg really
Stranger: u should go
You: yeah we have a fat arena but i don't think i can afford tickets
Stranger: :(
You: i don't have a job RIP and i;m not getting one anytime soon cause all the businesses are closed
Stranger: damn yea I felt that
Stranger: I do have a job but im not going rn
Stranger: like im making them leave me off the schedule
You: probably smart
Stranger: bc im so scared of getting my mom sick
You: yeah that would be shitty
Stranger: yup
You: my mom works for the school district that i go to and my dad works from home so we are all chillin but that prolly sucks
Stranger: oh damn
Stranger: yeah thats good
Stranger: my whole family is staying home
You: we don't have a stay in place order yet but we haven't left the house in weeks basically either
You: my school is about to get cancelled too
You: it's just not good for anyone
Stranger: about to??
Stranger: is it not cancelled yet
You: well spring break got extended to april 13 but the superintendent is making an announcement on friday apparently
Stranger: oh damn
Stranger: yea here it's closed until the end of the year
You: its tough for us cause we are supposed to go online but our district can't afford it
You: like we need to close but only 40% of kids have internet acess
You: so they can't
Stranger: oh fuck
Stranger: idk :/
You: i'm lucky to have it tho
You: me wasting my precious internet acess on talking to adults on omegle lmao
Stranger: LMAO
Stranger: treu
Stranger: true
Stranger: oh well
You: i just want to relive middle school while i'm quarantined ya know
You: i was not monitored as a child bahabha
Stranger: omg
Stranger: same
Stranger: lmao
Stranger: I used to be on here all the time
You: like how am i not dead
You: genuinely thinking about all the shit i did in like 2012,,, what??
You: who let me near the family computer and then just didn't look over my shoulder
You: anyway i should probs go to sleep
You: it was nice talking to you tho!
Stranger: omg u too!!!!
Stranger: sorry it took me forever to respond
Stranger has disconnected.
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