#tbh this is one of my favorite paintings I've done so far

[eriathalia]

"Hydrangeas"

[mecachrome]

omg k i just saw ur top 3 landoscar moments post from october 2023... any changes/updates since then? new moments made it onto the list? or if not... favorite moment of 2024 so far? (i just like hearing (reading?) ur thoughts it's like reading an intellectual (but still sappy in my fave way) bedtime story 🥰)

hklsdfhlsfhd naurrr... this is so embarrassing why am i still deeply landoscarpilled 6 months later 😔

but honestly i have been thinking about this and the sheer volume of crasyinsane material and lore we've accrued since last year because now i'm like how would you even begin constructing a top 3....... the possibilities are endless!!!

in terms of pre-october content that i might have missed before, i'd say most of this ask still holds (lando's biggest fan dot mp4 will NEVER lose its insanity to me. quintessential landoscar meta as far as i'm concerned) but now i also desperately need 2 shout out portrait painting challenge...... when it came out i was of course susceptible to the "you look beautiful" bantz though mostly just wrote it off as shipbait and since then i've looked back on this video multiple times and been like ?! why was oscar's deference to lando so insane actually.... i've alr mentioned this b4 but 1) oscar taking lando's intro in stride and immediately responding i am ready lando norris 2) oscar playfully acquiescing and letting lando use purple after he'd already chosen it 3) >like 5 seconds later. "you like purple don't you?" "uhhhh... i can do now" (who says that.) 4) another stunning display of lando Nooticing and fixating on oscar's hair swoop and last but not least 5) the way oscar FOLDS OVER and giggles helplessly when lando tells him i've just done you all pink ??? like. OKAY. cheers

looking @ recent content..... personally i find 814 so fascinating because while there are many Discrete Moments i can point out that make my brain explode i also feel like to some degree the reason we (? or maybe just me. again i apologize for the nonsensical drivel i create) love to make parallel gifsets of them is because they have such an understated dynamic built off many minute unspoken habits and wordless exchanges and essentially Patterns so there is less of like... a need for spontaneous intimacy.... if that makes sense. it's about the consistency of reciprocal comfort... iterations..... palisades palisades......... ok this is totally not related to the ask i've just been rotating it in my mind

anyway 10 personable favs !!! arranged chronologically

finish the lyrics (oct 2023): a deeply obvious one but you can't Not include it 😩 i can't believe this came out a week after i answered that because seriously what da hell. @ OSCAR PIASTRI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YEWWWWWWWW. there are sooooo many things i could mention here that i feel have already been exhaustively expounded, the most obvious of course being the classic ojp Heart Eyes moment(s) (Many such cases......but also specifically the love story one) (like i'd argue silverstone was mostly responsible for getting 814 off the ground BUT this video was when their dynamic became the most "mainstream" and accessible to fandom as a whole... the amount of non-f1 fans i saw qrting reups of that clip!!!!) anyway but then you also get 👉 whatever the inside joke they have about old town road is. oscar saying "i reckon you'd be unreal in a karaoke bar in japan" which i still think is such a Line... just me ??? the way he verryryryyyy softly sings "yes" with lando at the end of their love story karaoke and the insane camera angle of him just out of focus. like. really in general there is just such a soft and lighthearted and Fun air to their dynamic in this video that makes me ;__; AND this is another prime moment of lando narrating oscar's firsts for him (singing on camera at mcl!!!) . ALSAURR lando tapping oscar on the bicep while sarcastically complimenting him. once again for two guys who never touch it compels me... actually i could go on about this video tbh like how oscar nearly falls off the couch giggling at lando playing the songs together and then it cuts to the next one and he's suddenly all flushed and his bangs have gotten all fucked up. he's so... they're so... let's move on.

splunk sim city challenge (nov 2023): many classic lines such as "i haven't even distracted you yet!" + oscar knowing his podium year and lando saying "you're a nerd!" + lando going ":) :o are you okay?" and so on... general setup of this challenge was crasy tbh. how it revolves around disrupting the other person's focus and the visual asymmetry of one being sat higher and having to lean over to distract them and how oscar just giggles goodnaturedly when lando sticks his cue cards in front of his face instead of getting annoyed and—SO ON. also forever obsessed with how oscar wordlessly lifts his eyebrows at lando at the end lol

that one sticker video (nov 2023): this video is insaaAAANEEEE to me. ANYONE ELSE??? first of all oscar and lando gingerly standing across each other on either side of the flower bed (while zak brown assumes a power stance directly on it lmfao) is already so visually overwhelming but then the way oscar glances up as he's removing the sticker from the cap, how you can seeeeee him calculating the move the entire time and being adorably pleased about it, @__@ the way lando grins at him afterward... (also crying at zb glancing at them and being equally charmed by their antics) wahhh TT__TT the vibes of this clip... immaculate

oscar thanking lando in their final post-race message (nov 2023): honestly the entire message in general but :__) one of my fav 814 moments OAT is oscar including lando in his thank you speech and lando not really expecting it and being genuinely touched by the gesture. lando is so endearingly fidgety the entire time honestly and the way he perks up a bit and wrings his hands together and playfully smiles at oscar when he mentions him... okayyy. anyway 2 me it's reminiscent of yes/no challenge "am i the funniest teammate you've ever had?" "(shyly) yeahhh... you're up there" (said in the same baby-ish voice as "so... lando?" UGH. UGHHHH) and how lando genuinely gets a bit awkwardly flustered by it like!!! god. wait ALSO i don't have the space for this so i'm throwing in end of season awards MMMM debatable + how gleefully lando threw oscar under the bus and in general just the incredible expression work going on for both of them during this exchange. God [2]

si rapid fire questions (dec 2023): this video was crucial in determining that oscar... well. is obsessed with accommodating and mirroring lando. many things we already knew (aka listening to whatever music lando listens to; insert prema lap "maybe i should move to an english team because the music's better" moment here) but equally important is oscar "stealing" lando's dinner, how lando presses him on the back to the future question until oscar just changes his answer to his, and of course as you know per my blog title NO I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU HAPPY is in my eyes top 5 most insane things oscar piastri has ever said. likeee... lando showing a bit of jokey remorse over enforcing his rules (don't even get me started about lando and game/challenge rules...) but oscar being sooo determined 2 honor his teasing 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 :melting_face: x100!!!

need to split this into two lists because apparently there's a div character limit 😔 continuing on

hilton spa ad (feb 2024): of course this pained me because of This Moment (specifically lando bringing his hand back down when oscar tried to lift it from beneath him 😮‍💨) but that is neither here nor there. obsessed with the salmon at the engineering table anecdote because the most logical explanation for oscar Not doing that anymore is because lando didn't like it... or he just eats different things now but we already know that he's adopted lando's preferred meal b4 so that's equally a lot 2 digest !!! also >the callback to their one million LOOK AT YOU/HIM moments >how they touch shoulders exactly Once when they sit down and then never again despite lando continuously leaning into oscar's space to get to the button... eugh. also just top tier oscar faces + hair 🥰

opening title behind the scenes (mar 2024): thinking about all the hilarious gifsets of this moment that i ate up deliciously 🧡🧡🧡 this was such a significant reminder of how 814 have just gotten like, exceedingly comfortable around each other & have learned 2 communicate via the most inscrutable expressions and noises and gestures that somehow suit Them perfectly x__x although i doubt they will ever really become ~effusive~ with each it's frankly even more devastating that they both help each other care less about maintaining appearances / how they often get so sucked into their interactions (see next bullet point) that everything else kind of just fades away in that instant.... all right ⚠️⚠️⚠️ maybe that's a bit of a stretch but we can pretend for the rpf lens!!! see also my tag spiel in this beautiful tuva gifset.

photo day antics (mar 2024): do you ever just...... what went on in bahrain. honestly. more from this weekend in a second but this video plus the accompanying photo encapsulate their dynamic so perfectly it makes me scream... how 814 are not only so annoyingly focused on each other all the time but also stand SOOO UNNECESSARILY CLOSE while every other teammate pairing is spaced out normally. yuki and checo glancing at them alksfdhdf 😭 truly so ridiculous that the poor photo person tried to get lando's attention and they pretended to comply for two seconds before oscar was lifting his foot to show lando his boot again. also why did it take oscar a million years to step away from lando and put a more appropriate amount of space between them...?! and even then it was barely that much........... (10 paragraphs of speaking later) I prefer really not to speak.

accidental waist grab (mar 2024): this gave me psychic damage so bad i should be lobotomized. we've already spoken about this perhaps erm excessively but why did lando feel the need to stand JUST as close to him if not closer after they broke apart. there was truly no need...... honestly the way this ship will have us looking up driver cams and staring at esteban ocon's ass as he gets out his car just for a single glimpse of their parc fermé dynamic.

bahrain post-race interview antics (mar 2024): You already knowwwww. the sky sports "he follows me everywhere" moment is equally important but the f1tv interview giving us horrifically natural banter (juxtaposing this with their previous interview moments...), lando's dumb faux australian accent and oscar playing along as always, and most of all them HIJACKING THE INTERVIEW & commiserating on camera together ❓❗️ lichrally the grid photo all over again. often when i have emotions over an 814 moment i worry that i sound overly He_Only_Got_Two_Eyes.jpeg but truly sometimes two people are just objectively insane. plus land of piastri/lando piastri.....

also runner up is the f1tv interview with lawrence aka lando's cooing noise @ oscar discussing lily (anyone else frame by frame color pick oscar's face to see how badly he flushed... no? just me?) + the beautiful self-aware surfacing of the CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS of their relationship...... !!! love when 2 guys expose and confirm their own sincerity in trying to verbally resist it. hem

is this anything. sorry eve LKSFDHLDHSF thank u for the ask & pls lmk what ur fav moments are too 🧡

[salemssimblr]

Hello there! I'm Eden :D I LOVE your renders! I've been rendering for well over a year at this point, however I only stuck to the super basic stuff since it took me a year before that to even know how to do it at all. I've wanted to up my game and get to where you are now. I'm SO SORRY if this question was asked already (I haven't gotten too far in your posts yet), but;

How do you personally edit your renders? I understand you use photoshop, but how do you do it exactly? Your renders have that kind of digital art style, like you drew them yourself. Feel free to be as descriptive or brief as you'd like!

Hi Eden!!! Thank you so much! 🥹😍♥️

I've followed you back and glad we're moots! I'd love to see some of your work!

I'm not sure if I've answered this before but I'm happy to answer it again! Also I haven't advertised it in a while (and I really need to try to get up a new tut, maybe soon), but my alt account is a Render School where I post tutorials, with plans to post editing tutorials in the future!

But honestly as far as my editing, I really don't do much.

Actions are my secret weapon, and I have a few favorites/go-tos I'll link! A few are by simmers and a few are just action sets. I'm in a family of photographers, so I have access to a wealth of resources for my editing.

Sonder set by @intramoon

Cold Water set by @intramoon

Retro Prime photoshop actions

Indie camera photoshop actions

But my "secret weapon," as it were, and the set of actions that I think most helps me accomplish that digital art style is a set of actions that are sadly expensive and hard to find now.

My favorite set is by Totally Rad! and I think in recent years it's been folded in to this Pixel Sugar product on their website. I know that's a steep price point but it's possible you can find it around the corners of the Internet for less, or if you can't, you might be able to find "dupes" of the better ones, which imo are:

Technicolor dream world

Super Fun Happy

Bullet Tooth

Grandma's Tap Shoes

As for my method, I know a lot of simmers paint over their renders, and I've done that a few times but find I'm too impatient tbh. My goal is always to have to do only minor touchups over my renders and some color/vibe adjustments before the finished product. My "raw" files are always exactly what blender spits out for me, unaltered in any way except to resize them for Tumblr.

To get that digital art style, I'd recommend rendering with alpha details if you don't already. If your computer can't handle alpha cc in the game, DM me and I can give you some pointers (sneak peek info for a future tut lmao) on how to accomplish it without bogging down your game.

When I go into photoshop I adjust the brightness and contrast, as I tend to personally prefer high contrast pieces that contain dark subject matter but you can still see the details. Then I'll paint/blur/clone/adjust anything that needs it, then I'll "stack" and adjust a handful of actions before applying edge blur and vignette and any other color adjustments (levels, curves, etc).

That's a very oversimplified rundown of what I do, but really overall my editing process is simple. The bulk of my work happens in blender itself. I find that the more time I take to perfect the lighting and shadows and angles in blender, the less frustrating the editing process and the happier I am with the end result. So, that said, be sure you're spending a lot of time in blender getting the light and shadows to be exactly where you need/want them to be before running it.

I know this is a bit long I'm sorry! If any of it is super confusing or you'd like a more in-depth look at any of it please let me know! I do plan to do editing tutorials for my side blog, but the latter half of this year has kind of run over me like a train, and for now I'm just trying to get by day by day. But I'm happy to help if you have more specific questions!

& thank you again!! ♥️

[lincolndjarin]

ro's very reasonable 2023 wrap up schedule.

hi lovelies!! (figured out how to do a color gradient, took me weeks, i'm fucking thrilled, expect more of that nonsense in this post lol)

it's mid november and as the year comes to a close i'd like to wrap up a lot of stuff so here's the plan :

NOV 12 : BKS 26 : crucifixion (currently being edited will be out by tonight.)

NOV 12-19 : BKS 27 : the apostate (will be released at some point here, it's gonna be on the shorter side so it shouldn't take too long

NOV 25 : Oh Honey, Chapter Four : painting the roses red (another long chap, gonna need some time to get this one out so at the latest it will be out on the 25th!!)

The First Week of December will be my 1,000 follower celebration, I'm going to be doing a week of Best Kept Secret content leading up to the final BKS chapter !! (this will include the release of my 500 follower celebration whoops)

Best Kept Secret Week :

DEC 1 : BKS 28 : a place for us (the technical final chapter of BKS)

DEC 2 : BKS Q&A (gonna ask for questions at some point here i'll make a post and answer any final questions about bks!!)

DEC 3 : Bound in Beskar - 500 follower celebration (a one off based on the book princess reads in bks)

DEC 4 : BKS what ifs (it's 8 days of stuff they can't all be hits. tbh i needed a day filler and i've got a lot of alternative story lines in bks so fuck it, i'll talk about those here)

DEC 5 : Best Kept Secret Art!! (i commissioned three artists to illustrate some of my favorite scenes bc i'm a sap so i will be posting all of that on this day and i'm so excited for y'all to see it!! they're wonderful artists and they've done wonderful work so far <3)

DEC 6 : Secrets Best Kept - 1,000 follower celebration (a one off where Din Djarin is the new reluctant ruler of Mandalore, a tutor is hired to help him during his early days as a ruler to learn proper etiquette for royalty)

DEC 7 : A love letter to Best Kept Secret. (pretty much just gonna be one last corny post to thank everyone for reading)

DEC 8 : BKS 29 : the best kept secret (epilogue) (corny ass name ik, anyhow, this will be it!! this will be the last main update of best kept secret!!)

DEC 16 : Oh Honey, Chapter Five : a very merry unbirthday (this will be the last chapter of oh honey!! i've always intended for this to be a short form story so it will be wrapped up at the latest by the 16th!!)

DEC 24 : Best Kept Christmas (gonna sneak one last good bye to bks in at the end of the month with a christmas special lol)

and then i will be taking the last week of december to write my next fics! rest!

so yeah lol, my goal is to wrap up all ongoing fics this year but but but if you made it this far (i love you *mwah*) here's some of the fics coming in 2024!! i won't be starting anything new this year but next year i've got big plans >:)

Then & Now (probs gonna change that title) - this will be my main fic for a bit, i've been itching to start this for so so long, f!reader x joel. definitely gonna be more on the angsty side

i'm participating in pmamc 2024 so there will be an Oberyn one off in January!!

Andromeda - this is gonna be my next din x reader !! i don't have much other than the base idea but im gonna keep that a surprise haha

And plenty of other stuff i'll figure out lol

[beardedjoel]

smother is everything! i found it when looking through tags on tumblr. i'd been reading fics on ao3 and was oblivious to the fact all these authors and fics i read are also on tumblr! started it last week. would have finished it much much much sooner if not for life things but i swear when i tell you i ate it up so quickkkkkk, like was so hard to not just finish in one sitting. i will need to re-read again to hold me over and also to dig into the scenes more too! not a lot of people out here doing what you're doing and doing it this goddamn well!!!!!!! i was wondering what your favorite part to write was, or your favorite scene? apologies if this has already been answered elsewhere!

i can't decide what my favorite chapter is but there are a million moments i love in this fic, even less ~big~ ones, simple things like joel feeding blossom bread and cheese in pt 2 and she asks why he hasn't hurt her yet too was so precious to me or basically any of the times blossom feels pretty, like when she's putting on the clothes he's picked out for her for the very first time, or feels like she wants to be sexy (all those types of moments are so endearing and in my head i'm like, i get it girl). these are just some small things that come to mind but there are a million more moments i love - can't wait to reread and rediscover them. also the one shots of them are mindblowing. satin is the sweetest thing i've ever read, and polaroid is so fucking hot and lowkey a commentary on kinks lol. i was also curious if you have any other series planned for when this one is wrapped up too?? no worries if you do not divulge these details! i will be very sad when smother is done but so glad i came across it.

helloooo!

thank you so much for reading, i'm really glad you ended up finding my story and sent this thoughtful message. omg where to even begin? i would say my favorite parts to write have been 8 and 11! in pt 8 i really enjoyed writing the cuter stuff between them with the reading and her getting so comfortable with things, kind of trying to imagine more finally what their day to day life together would look like! and pt 11 i found powerful to write. i really was proud of the emotion i drew out of the chapter even if it broke my heart a little bit. i feel like i have a favorite scene from each part though honestly!

also, agreed with you - there are sooo many small moments between them - the getting drunk, the haircut, joel cooking for her, picking the outfits like you said, all their intimate moments, OMG HIM PAINTING HER NAILS LIKE... there are just so many good moments between them that i still love so much.

and the polaroid one shot is definitely up there for favorite things i've written for them. and tbh, i never even think i meant for it to be a commentary on kink but because it came from a genuine place of how i feel about the subject it really does read like one towards the end there, which i love! 😋

as for future series i don't want to promise too much because i'm a very slow writer, but i maybe have a few random one shot ideas and a sugar daddy!joel series i have had rolling around in my brain since like way earlier this year! and definitely some smother one shots if things keep coming to mind once the main storyline is done.

okay anywayyyys, ty if you read this far! and thanks for all the fun questions and commentary! 💗

[swordsonnet]

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

19. most important thing in your life?

23. favorite piece of clothing?

thanks for the ask :D

10. atm i'm looking forward to my next meeting with my support worker! she comes by twice a week to help me with stuff i want to try but can't do on my own (yet). she only started two weeks ago, but we're getting along great so far :) next time we'll do some painting, which i haven't done in ages, so i'm excited for that!

19. i don't think there's any one most important thing in my life tbh. but if i had to pick one, maybe the ability to create? it's really important to me to have some sort of creative outlet, even if i'm not always that good at it lol. it's just great to have something that i can point to and think "i made that!". writing and knitting and crocheting have gotten me through some tough times in my life, and i'm so glad i've (re)discovered these hobbies in the last few years.

23. this little jumpsuit - it's super cute and comfy!

[megidoreyn]

Hihi! For the ask meme, perhaps 4, 8 and 14?

Hey there! Aw, thank you for the questions! It's super rare to get asks like these, so it really made my day! 😇🙏

⭐️4. What defines your artistic style?

That's a good question!🤔 (Especially since I don't know how others might perceive my art!) Due to my own visual agnosia as well, it skews my perception of my own works... So I actually end up disliking the grand majority of the things I create tbh🤣 It's hard for me to become cognizant of any strengths due to the weaknesses being highlighted (in my skewed POV) sometimes! But from the comments I have kindly received before, I would say that my art is defined by: clean/polished lineart, round/"squishy" chibis, warm colors, and "an aura of softness/tenderness"! Truthfully, I would love to be known for having a well-rounded and versatile style! As in: switching from a dynamic + appealing full-body style to a charming chibi style with precision and confidence!💪 And in general: I'd like to be known for drawing handsome faces on full-body characters instead of only having a "cute" style tbh LOL

⭐️8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?

Oh man…For a self-critic, this is a tough yet great question too!!😂--There's usually elements of a picture I enjoy working on VS how the overall picture eventually turns out! But looking back at everything I've posted publicly so far on twitter from 2022-2023…I think it'd have to be these! ↓

And a special shout out to this Walter-Lucifer pseudo-fiend character turnaround sheet that started off as a "haha just messing around :^)" sketch but then quickly turned serious 2 days later LOL. I did like incorporating SMT4 Lucifer's Phase 2 wings on him, since the in-game design includes this gradient on the wings too. 😇🙏

⭐️14.What do you like drawing the most?

As a surprise to no one, my favorite thing to draw would be WalterJonathan---both the pairing and the individual characters LOL. There's actually a personal reason for this, but maybe that'll be a story for another time! Whether or not the majority of these (finished/ polished) sketches will ever see the light of day is also to be determined in the future...😂 Despite these canon Satan Husbands going through the many unspeakable horrors they suffer within base SMT4 + SMT4 Apoc's canon (and even the duology of the SMT4 manga's canon too!), I'll always prefer to draw them being sweet with each other...🥺 To at least give them a single soft moment of reprieve that they deserve...!😭🙏

↑ I also enjoy drawing the details of the SMT4 samurai coat/uniform! As well as other things and details like: 💙the SMT protags' COMPs + SMT4 Gauntlet 💙Clothing folds 💙Side profiles 💙Backside angles 💙Painting hair 💙Drawing hands 💙Dynamic chibis + dynamic body language in general (that convey a character's personality)

…and probably some more things I'm forgetting LOL.

💙↑ edit: I forgot how much I like sketching out Pokemon as quick warm-ups + other critters like the MOTHER/Earthbound Mr.Saturns too! It's good practice in understanding different shapes.

Again, thank you so much for the questions!🙏 It was fun to answer these!

⭐️⭐️⭐️It's still 12/31 here in my neck of the woods, so I wish you and everyone reading this a Happy New Year as well!

[cantseemtohide]

sims tag

Thank you to @gorgosim and @memoirsofasim for the tag 😊 I had this all written out before but accidentally deleted it and only just got round to it again!

1. What’s your favourite sims death? I rarely play a save long enough for any sims to die. I like the vending machine though.

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Neither.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? I don't usually play any household long enough for it to happen tbh.

4. Do you use move objects? Yeah I had a little phase recently of not using it but now I am.

5. Favorite mod? I don't use any.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? I think it was City Living.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? I've never actually said it but I think I would say it like as in living.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? Sunisa Pengngam. I didn't exactly make her but she did get a pretty big makeover after joining my Villareal gameplay as a maid townie so it's close enough.

9. Have you made a simself? No.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? evil, self-absorbed, proper

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? I don't have a favourite.

12. Favorite EA hair? I've got a soft spot for the classic chunky basegame hairs 😁

13. Favorite life stage? Toddlers are good fun, haven't really played infants yet. Most of the sims I make seem to be adults, don't know if that says something.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I like both, spend much more time with gameplay though.

15. Are you a CC creator? Nah.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I really appreciate the people who take the time to like/reblog/comment on my posts and all my mutuals seem very nice 😊

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)  TS4 is the only one I've played.

18. Do you have any sims merch? Nope.

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? No.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?  I used to use cc, so I suppose that's a pretty big change since I went cc free, other than that not much I don't think. I'm pretty influenced by the EA style of the basegame and early promotional sims.

21. What’s your Origin ID? worriedheart

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator?  @dragonflydaydreamer was kind enough to make a cc painting out of a screenshot I took which has a special place in my game, otherwise I don't use any cc.

23. How long have you had a simblr? Since 2017.

24. How do you edit your pictures? I add a border and make collages using photoscape, apart from that my screenshots are unedited.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? Don't really care to be honest I haven't got all the packs as it is and regret paying money for some of the ones I do have! I'd like it to be something weird and unexpected though.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? Expansion: City Living, will always be my favourite

Game Pack: StrangerVille, it's a bit different and as basic as the story is it does bring the world to life a little

Stuff Pack: I like Paranormal, always quite liked Movie Hangout too

I know this has been going round a while and I've totally lost track of who's done it so anyway I will tag @occultpuppy @akitasimblr @devotedsims @lolathelotus @nurbsfirby @nuttydragonbird @dragonflydaydreamer @myverycoolnickname @plumbobster @breakfastwithbeb @emasdf @satureja13 @whatawhim @introvertedfox @sweetpyxels

As always feel free to ignore if you already did this/prefer not to 😊

[drac-onion]

"I made this!"

So I have a bit of an unhealthy relationship with art.

I would never call myself an artist, but I would never disparage someone for doing the exact same thing I do and then call themselves an artist. An artist, to me, is someone who makes art. Simple as. Sure, you could more minutely define it as someone who makes a living from art, but you could also argue that the specificity of that would fall under whether or not someone calls themselves a professional artist. Meaning that they do it as their profession. (IE: a paid occupation, usually involving prolonged training and/or formal qualification.)

So, by that rule, I'm an artist because I make art (sometimes), but not a professional artist, because I don't make a living from it.

I suppose I could call myself a writer, too, but let's not get too into the weeds on etymology and labels. I'm some rando that makes art (sometimes) and writes (sometimes, and I even post sometimes too! [keyword: sometimes])

I'm pretty apprehensive about posting things I've made because of weird vulnerability I feel around it. Cuz like, I tried my best (or maybe its just a quick n dirty something or other for a laugh) and now that thing is going to be out for anyone to see? Spooky.

Well, I'm going to try to change my mindset and post things that I made cuz I made them, and if other people see them, great. If not, then it's for me to look back on anyway. It's not about likes or reception or anything. Just for me to look back on. It's just a scrapbook that I just so happen to put somewhere for others to look at if they want.

I recently went through my PC and located everything I've ever made and put it one spot. It's organized by year, and it was kind of wild to see how far I'd come in some regards.

There's some pictures I took of my sketchbook from when I was following Mark Crilley's art tutorials. Some attempts at pixel art (some of which aren't half bad, tbh) and some sketches I made in that old Sketchbook app for android. I actually had to hop on my old deviantart for some of it (oof) since I couldn't find the original files. They're probably on an old laptop somewhere, but I couldn't be bothered to pull the hard drive and dig for it.

I can really pinpoint my artistic motivations and pursuits in each year.

2013: Pixel art (just the worst pixel doubling and uniform outlining, yikes!)

2014: Traditional art and youtube tutorials, along with some pixel art here and there)

2015: I could only find one drawing from 2015 (had to grab that one from facebook...YIKES) and its a not-too-shabby drawing I did from reference.

2016: Following along with a Bob Ross episode in Mario Paint. This one actually looks really good. Maybe I'll post it one of these days, cuz it's kinda neat.

2017: Bought a drawing tablet with the money I made from working. Downloaded Sai and tried drawing from figure references. Some of it is really bad, but some of it shows an understanding of figure, which is kind of impressive in hindsight.

2018: Some more Bob Ross pixel art. I followed along with the same video as in 2016, but in Aseprite (the demo, so I only have a screenshot of the finished product because you can't save in the demo) and damn, it's still one of my favorite things I've ever made in Aseprite. Especially for only being 4 colors (GB green palette)

2019: Some more Sai stuff. Probably all done in the same session, but it's not the worst I suppose. I'm pretty inconsistent when it comes to focusing on art. I tend to get pretty distracted when I'm not immediately good at something. (And now I know why, although hindsight is 20/20)

2020: Uh? Couldn't find anything from 2020. Given what occurred that year, that's not all that surprising TBH.

2021: Some music I made and a doom level I made. This was sort of my intro to making levels for games. We had to make a game pitch for a school project and I went all out on making a demo. I think I clocked my hours and it was well over 40 hours put into the level alone. Made a custom weapon sprite any everything. It's pretty cool.

2022: My intro to working in 3D and making youtube videos. I started in Gmod, making simple animations, before eventually swapping to SFM for stills. Then a friend asked why I didn't just learn Blender instead, so that's what I did. If you know me from twitter, then you've probably seen these. They're NSFW, so maybe don't go digging if that isn't what you're into. That was sort of where my unhealthy relationship with social media and art began, because I started focusing a lot on views and likes and reception for things instead of just making things I wanted to make. (Mostly because I was surrounded by and learning from actual professionals, who do it as like, a job.) Sure there were things I made because I wanted to make them, but for the most part, I was going for the popular thing and wanting to "get big" at the time. Cringe, I know. Such is life. You live and you learn. Some of the best I made during this time was cuz I wanted to make it, and those are the ones I'm most proud of to this day.

2023: Burnout city! Unemployment will do that to you. Sure I worked on some stuff here and there, but I really burnt the hell out. Ended up working on some Doom levels and some little things here and there. Making a titlecard for a friend's youtube video, a cover art for a HM2 level, finishing my second reload animation, and a couple blender things. 2022 felt so productive in comparison, where did it all go wrong? (Oh yeah, the weird obsession with views. Right.) Then I got into writing that summer and I've sort of kept up with it. AO3 says I wrote 93k words that year, so that's not nothing. (I promise I'm working on another big project. It's just...hitting some creative snags. Again. Such is life.)

2024: The current year. I'm...trying to get back into making things for me. Writing things because I would read it. Drawing things that I would look at, or that I find interesting. Once again, I'm sort of trying to game my attention problems by not focusing TOO hard on one thing at a time. Otherwise I'd never finish anything, and while I'm not concerned about having things to post to social media, it does feel good to look back and see things you've actually finished. It's better to finish something and have it be like 50% of what it could have been than never reach 100% and then it just lives on as a reminder of your inability to finish things. I'd rather call something done and move on than obsess for ages over "what could have been." Or maybe I'm just waffling because I'm still trying to shake my weirdness. Bah. Some stuff I make might never see the light of day, but that's kind of a shame. I like making things and sharing them with other people. It's fun.

That's really the operative word of this whole ramble.

Fun

I do things because it's fun. I should want to do things because they're fun. Of course that's easier said than done when you have my specific brand of brain problems, but ya gotta catch the wind in your sail when it blows, right? (If that even makes sense.)

So yeah, here's hoping that this weird ramble convinces me to post things. Not because I want to get clicks or likes or engagement. But because I want to remind myself of how fun it was to do.

Like that Kolibri doodle I posted yesterday was something I did for fun. I though it'd be fun to do, so I did it. Simple as.

So here's to fun. Let's do stuff for that, and forget about clicks. I'm doing it for me. If you happen to like it, then more power to you. But I wanna have fun for me.

Yeah.

(Watch me then never post anything because my interests have waned and I hyperfixate on something else and then have to look at this post in a few months and cringe at the thought.)

But hey, nobody else is reading this anyway.

Right?

[hearteyesdiaz]

50 Questions Just Because: 21, 26, 29, 39?

have a great day! <3

21. What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Ooh so it's been 100 years since I've taken an art history class so forgive me for not being the most knowledgeable on specific terms but the medieval period/early renaissance art where painters were literally discovering how to paint light and perspective/dimension realistically is so fascinating to me.

I love Renaissance stuff of course, the Italians were insane for *gestures* all of that. The paintings? The marble statues?! And then I like how different areas of Europe tried to copy what they were doing and put their own spin on it. I really like northern renaissance stuff bc they did some fucked up shit with christian imagery. Bosch is my shit!!

26. Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?

Answered!

29. Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?

Tbh I didn't play with Legos as a kid. Most of my and my sisters toys were hand me downs from my 10+ years older cousins and sister. So even though I'm a 90s baby I played with the OG pollypockets, littlest pet shop, my little ponies, stuff like that from the late 80s/early 90s. Lots of barbies too. And I'm pretty sure my younger cousins got whatever wasn't broken after we were done with it. My mom's family is ALL girls lmao

My older sister and her husband and kids are super into Lego tho, and my favorite one that they have is like Chinese New Year/zodiac themed and I think they get the new one every year. They have a big display table and shelves filled with Lego sets.

39. What was the best part of your day today?

So far I've been chillin. The new ep stills are very exciting to me!! My husband doesn't have class today so we're just doing housework, but we get to smoke weed while we do it now so it's not too bad :)

[prosperdemeter2]

Behind the Scenes for “almost home” if you have the time?

OH MY GOD yes I have time for this. The entire day by day series means so much to be and I still fully believe it's potentially some of the best work I've ever done.

I don't know if I have a favorite scene in the installment, tbh. So I'll just pick one that I've brought up in therapy (literally 😅 my therapist has a link to this series because I worked through so much while writing it.).

I'm hiding it under the Read More so people can scroll past this if they want 😅

It's the scene where they're in the car on their way to pick up Chris and Liana from the Hershey police department. That big confrontation between Adriana and Buck. This entire trip was meant to sort of... symbolize everything the Buckley-Diaz family has gone through so far to get to a stable place of being. Like... can you really be healed, if you don't also end up confronting where your pain comes from?

Funnily enough, I didn't have Adriana set up to be the bad guy, so to speak, when I started the story. It was never supposed to actually go as far or as long as it did, I just... loved the story so much. And then when I was on vacation I couldn't get the potential plot point of Eddie’s relationship with Sophia out of my head and... things with Adriana sort of spiraled to represent my deteriorating relationship with my own sister (one of them). BUT anyway, Buck finally confronting Adriana was so important to me to put in, because so far he hadn't been in the right place to ever give Adriana what she wanted - a fight.

It was incredibly important to me to show the entire time that Buck understood exactly what it was that Liana was going through, even if the two of them weren't on the same side of the coin. He was sort of, accidentally even, projecting his own anxieties onto her (evidenced by him flashing back when Liana and Adriana get in a fight).

“Because Christopher is perfect ,” Adriana crossed her arms and looked out the window. Inside the little convenience store Eddie was at the counter, paying with a tired frown on his face. They were all still in their pajamas, but Buck was thankful that his and Eddie’s, at least, were simple sweatpants rather than fuzzy blue things like Adriana was sporting. “He can’t do anything wrong.”

Adriana compares her entire life to Eddie. It's a fault of the way they were raised, but it's also just who she is as a person. She's so incredibly jealous of the person he's become that it comes out in every single aspect of her life. In her eyes, he's perfect to everyone else and she is the only one that can see the flaws. She's projecting that same feeling onto Christopher, because their parents unknowingly do the same thing to him that they did with Eddie.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Buck couldn’t help himself, Liana’s face at the mention of their wedding floating in his mind.

Adriana rolled her eyes. “I was fifteen once,” she rolled her lips with a scowl. Buck realized he had never really seen her smile. He wondered, absently, if it looked anything like Eddie or Sophia’s. “I too tried to run away from home.”

Adriana doesn't get it. She's like... she's like all of those moms who's have trauma themselves that think that their trauma informs them of the kind they throw onto their kids. She has given Liana a stable home, with both of her parents around, and she doesn't understand why her daughter isn't THANKFUL for that over angry. She sees it all and labels it as "typical teenage angst", missing the fact that, when you're a teenager, everything feels so heightened.

“She didn’t run away from home, Adriana.”

She laughed, a bitter eye-roll painting her face. “Imbécil.”

The leather cracked as he sat up, a stream of anger clawing at his insides. “She ran away from you .”

Now THIS part, I had stuck in my head since dreaming up this conversation. Not a lot of kids run away from home without a reason, and Liana isn't excempt from that. And who better to point it out to Adriana than someone who so BADLY wanted to be seen when he was that age? Buck has been where Liana is here - he begged and begged for his parents to see him and they never did. Instead of him running away physically, he did it mentally. And then he tried to do it in body and soul by attempting suicide.

“You think I purposely pushed my daughter to run away?”

“I think you’re telling yourself that it’s everyone else’s fault but your own.” He corrected. “I think it’s easier for you to sit here and take out all of your anger about everything that’s gone wrong in your life on your brother than it is to accept responsibility.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I think you spend more time comparing your child to ours than you do accepting her for who she is regardless of flaws.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think there have been signs staring you in the face that something was going to happen for years and you just ignored them.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I think you’re incredibly lucky that Liana decided to physically run away rather than do anything far worse.”

“She wouldn’t .”

“We both know that’s not true.”

And then there's! There's this! And this is huge! For more than just because someone is finally confronting Adriana but because this shows SO MUCH how Buck has grown over the series. He went from not even TALKING about his attempt unless it was on the surface to outright telling Adriana what he needed when he was that age. The signs Buck’s talking about were there with him too, and just like Liana, they were ignored until they couldn't be anymore.

"That's exactly what you're saying. I'm doing such a bad job and obviously my daughter isn't just acting out -." 

"It's never just acting out ." 

"And she's not just trying to drive me crazy -." 

"No kid wants to be fighting with their parents all the time." 

"Please, you tell me, with all two years of your experience what it is that I'm doing wrong." 

"You're not listening ." 

"Oh, I listen, alright. I listen every single time Liana screams at me and tells me I'm a horrible mother. As if I haven't given up everything for her and her brother! Like I didn't put my dreams aside when I had her at sixteen -." 

"She didn't ask to be born!" 

"Well, I didn't ask to be her mom!" 

"But you consciously made that decision!" 

"I was sixteen!" 

"You are thirty-four!" 

I'm going to be honest here, this was ALL ME. This was everything I wanted to scream at my own mother over and over again until she understood. There is only so much that you can use your own trauma as an excuse. Adriana was a child with a child, just like my mother was a child going through some terrible life experiences, it was not Liana's fault (just as it wasn't mine) that she was born. It's not her fault that her mother is incapable of offering her the same sympathy and understanding. she wanted when she was her age. And it also does still directly parallel Buck’s own story growing up - he didn't ask to take Daniel's spot. He didn't ask his parents not to mourn. He just asked to be loved.

"You know what? This is about Eddie."

"Not everything -."

"I don't know what your parents did to you guys growing up to make you think there's this… this… this competition between you two but this is affecting your kids ."

"That's not what's happening -."

"If you're not careful with how you step you are going to lose your daughter, okay? You're right, I don't have any idea what you've been through but I do know what she's been through. I know what it's like to be the kid that your parents very obviously never wanted."

"I want my daughter -."

"You just said you didn't."

"You're misunderstanding me!"

"No, you just can't make up your mind!" He tossed up his hands in frustration. "Listen, if I can't wrap my head around it how can you expect her to? If all she hears is everything you've given up in order for her to survive, how is she ever going to be able to trust that?"

"I love her."

"Adriana, this isn't love!" He wanted to beg her to understand. There was so much Evan would give for someone to have told his parents this, to have woken them up with harsh words when he needed it most. But no one had, as far as he knew, and he had been left to deal with it all alone. "You know what it's like to be the kid that's not the favorite. I know you do." Her eyes flickered to his and then down at knees, her lips pursed and fingers picking at a thread in her pajama pants. "Don't you remember being fifteen? Seeing how your parents looked at Eddie and wondering what you did wrong ?"

Sharply, Adriana looked back up at him. "You don't…"

"It took twenty- eight years for me to figure out why my parents acted like I ruined their life by being born. Another year after that to learn that that's not my fault ." He shrugged. "And not to even think about what that did to my sister to know she's the favorite because she was the one they planned ."

"That…" Adriana trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words. She licked her lips and rubbed a hand through her hair.

"It's not my fault for how I was raised any more than it's Liana’s."

"That's not fair ."

"Life isn't fair, Adriana. I'm sorry you had to live in Eddie's shadow, okay? And I'm… I'm sorry your parents won't ever apologize for that. But you're an adult now. Liana’s a kid, " he was pleading, if that could be it. Begging her to understand something he had tried for years to get his parents to see. "It's not up to her to put in the work, okay? Being a parent… I think it means putting in all the work yourself so that your kids aren't stuck doing all the hard stuff by themselves, right?" He licked his lips, drumming on his knee nervously with his fingers. "It matters what's going on with you and Eddie."

The amount of times I was told that love meant being in pain... that love meant giving up parts of myself to keep the peace... it made this whole conversation so visceral to write. Buck screaming that "this isn't love" was something I remember thinking myself when my mother made me feel so terrible about myself that I turned to harm. Love isn't meant to make your children turn inwards instead of turning to you and this was a very important lesson that Adriana had to learn and no one was bothering to tell her. No one is at fault for how they were raised here, not Adriana or Eddie or Buck, but there does reach a point where you have to start working on yourself in order to make sure your children don't get stuck in the mess.

This is so long and I could go on and on about this series forever xhsisjnsns.

[wclfstrife]

♡, ☼

munday asks.

♡ - what are your top five favorite things about yourself?

this one's tricky as i don't find myself too interesting.

my love & knowledge for animals, especially my dedication to advocate for misunderstood breed of dogs and small animals; rabbits in this instance. i've done a lot of research and understanding their personality, their do's and don'ts to help others realize they're not so scary as people try to make them seem. intervening as well has saved rabbits from becoming terribly ill since people like to throw them any sort of treat they get without checking if it's truly something the rabbit can have. knowledge comes from some repetition from my veterinary classes, mostly physiology and anatomy and i would share cool things i'd find out through this ( and occasionally reflect on them on related topics despite my overall shitty memory ).

dogs seem to enjoy my presence, i had a comment in one of the daycares i've worked that the dogs notably got "depressed" when i left the group for my break, and then they get all excited when i come back. i always engage with the dogs and try to get them to play with me if they're just being a pest to other dogs -- redirect them in a sense. i've had a few doggy best friends this way. 3. i can be self-taught in some things, whether that's ADHD or past experience. i was always interested in art but was on and off about it due to insecurities, but my mom asked if someone could paint this little figure of Ra, the sun god, so i offered and it turned out really well. i could never really pay attention to "realistic" art but i made sure that detail was there, all the appropriate colors and shading was there. this also applied when my other roommate asked me to repaint his staff that had a purple snake on it. he wanted to be a necromancer so of course wanted the snake to be green. this also came out very well, plus i made it glow in the dark. lastly, i've pretty much learned how to do graphics growing up and definitely see growing improvement, most of the edits/graphics on the blog is done by me. 4. i'm pretty chill and understanding? like, i'm not the best communicator but i like to listen. i've been through a lot of shit and think i can at least give a piece of advice from what i experienced, but ultimately, i just hear people out if they need to vent since i don't really know what i done or could suggest would even work for them. 5. how i even managed to survive this far tbh, i'm 25. i forget to eat and drink daily.

☼ - who are your top five favorite fictional characters?

this is pretty centered around games i've played and/or made a blog of.

Cloud.

Link -- given my current hyperfixation.

Yuri Lowell.

Noctis Lucis Caelum.

Sherlock Holmes. ( this was ace attorney fandom. )

[cardinal-copia-popia]

What if I were to ask you to keep going on about needy Copia? 👀

Then I would gladly do so, anon!!

I tried to be as thorough as possible as far as my personal HCs go.

NSFW under the cut

Needy Copia Continuation

Bite and lick and kiss his thighs and tummy, mark him up, make him squirm and whine. Bonus points if you squeeze and knead his ass at the same time. This is a quick way to get him desperate

He used to need to be tied up to keep his hands to himself, but he knows better now. It's become a game as you like trying to get him to lose control and forget, make him so desperate that he has to touch himself or try to get you to touch him (and he's been such a good boy that you give in, at least a little)

The man loves being on his knees, being forced to look up at you (A/N: and tbh I'm sad we don't get to see Papa on his knees like we used to see the cardinal). That's his favorite way to go down on you with you either standing or sitting and him on his knees before you. He'll lose his mind even more if you let him touch himself while he's doing this. (And it's even more arousing to him if he's wearing his papal regalia and/or his face paint)

Unlike Terzo, Copia isn't bratty. Copia wants to please you, to do a good job. He's not one to seek out punishment (unless he thinks he's done something that warrants it, then he'll ask for it). He doesn't have a very high tolerance for pain, however, so ignoring where he wants you most is usually the best way to go as a form of punishment (though I can see him liking to be spanked on occasion). Or making him watch as you pleasure yourself while he isn’t allowed to use his hands or move. That gets him going just as much as if you were actually touching him because he wants to be the one giving you such pleasure.

It's his preference to take care of you first, to worship you, to make your pleasure the priority. He'll kiss you all over, whispering how wonderful and perfect he thinks you are and telling you how much he loves you. He's so sweet and loving that you can't help but return the favor. He's awkward about the attention you're giving him at first, but this is what usually leads to the teasing and working him up into a frenzied state of need and want.

As I mentioned with his love language, he needs to be told he's doing a good job in whatever he's doing. Praise makes him putty in your hands and puts that pretty blush on his cheeks that spreads up to the tips of his ears.

Calling him Papa can have two different effects depending on if he's in a more dominant or submissive role. Calling him that early on will put him in a more dominant mindset, but if you call him that when he's a needy mess, it's been known to make him cum instantly.

And just as a note, I like to think Cardinal Copia would be submissive more often than not. Once he ascends, Popia's got more confidence and likes to be a little dominant more often. But as I've said, the submissive, needy side is still very much there, and you know when you need to give him the control he wants.

It is so easy to make Copia blush, and you love it. Just a little touch or stroke here and there, or the right word whispered in his ear (especially if you're in public), makes him a stuttering, blushing mess, ready to find a secluded place for you two to be more openly amorous. (I also like to think that if you could get away with it, he would totally be into you actually getting him off in a somewhat public place where he has to try to stay as quiet as possible while you tease him and make him cum. And, of course, he would gladly return the favor)

As I mentioned in the love bites post, he's a little embarrassed but turned on by having a visible mark on his neck. As much as it outwardly seems to embarrass him, he loves knowing it's there, that you left it for all the world to see that he's taken, that he belongs to you. He used to sometimes even ask you to leave a visible mark on him, but you know him well enough now that he no longer needs to ask.

When he's not whining, moaning, or whimpering, he talks a lot and swears, usually in Italian, as that's what he seems to default to when he's out of his mind with pleasure. He'll tell you how good you're making him feel, that he needs more, or shyly asks you to do something. He'll practically sob when he tells you how much he loves you. He'll full-on beg sometimes but he's just been so sweet and good that you can't help but give him exactly what he wants the second he asks for it. And he'll usually only resort to that kind of begging once he thinks he won't last much longer. Try to deny or delay his orgasm as long as you want, but he'll eventually reach a point where even just the barest of touches will send him over the edge, often making a mess all over himself. 

At the end of it all, hold him close, give him all the kisses, and tell him how much you love him because that man deserves all the love and adoration in the world and more. And with that love, you'll have him forever.

[yndigot]

Question: do you have any headcanons/a personal favorite explanation for how Branson could have possibly wanted to return to Downton after being in America? I've been going in circles with his character and what is/isn't shown on screen, but I feel like something major must have happened for him to travel back after being away.

I wish I had really good thoughts instead of just long, rambly thoughts. But my best idea that isn't re-writing the stuff I wish Julian had done with more care is to over-analyze what Tom says and try to wrestle it into something that makes sense!

Like, the straightforward answer is that I think NOTHING Julian gives us justifies this. I'm kind of not sure why he brought Tom back. Don't get me wrong. I want Tom there because I like him and I like the way he interacts with the rest of the family, but Julian didn't seem to write him very consistently re: what he wants out of life, especially after Sybil dies. And not in a way that reads to me like a "grief is making him directionless" deliberate choice. More like "idk what to do with a character like this if he's not shit-stirring, so now that I've integrated him into the family, I don't know where to go next."

I think Julian has a real problem writing working class characters and showing them having desires that don't either a) serve to uphold the aristocracy or b) get painted as sinister in some way. Thomas vacillates wildly between the two -- his ambition to have a life outside of service is often cast as sinister, and then his "redemption" is being the good servant. (Don't get me wrong -- I think if Thomas has to stay in service, he's probably much happier running the place than taking orders, but he gets "rewarded" by having his place in correct order confirmed.) See also: the way Julian seems to treat Anna's "friendship" with Mary as though it's entirely sincere and devoted and uncomplicated by the fact that she depends on Mary and the family for her salary, her husband's salary, housing, and childcare. (I don't have trouble believing Anna would have a certain fondness for Mary after many years, but I find things about the way their relationship is portrayed as though it's uncomplicated and transcends class to be uncomfortable.) And Daisy's ideas about wanting better rights and questioning the monarchy are played for laughs and come across kind of childish. Basically, I do not trust Julian for one second to try to get into the head of someone who, the first couple series establish, is an Irish republican and socialist. Because as much as I enjoy it, I believe Julian writes Downton to glorify institutions that early Tom would want to dismantle, which means he's either a source of trouble, or he needs to be watered down and neutered. We get the first for the first three series and the second going forward from there.

Tom going to Boston feels to me like Patrick Gordon and the endless murder trials -- a storyline that I think got away from Julian and then had to be wrapped up without changing the status quo, even if it was a waste of our time in the process. (I swear I really enjoy the show, I just think it has a lot of flaws!) I just don't think there's a lot there to build on. I went back to check, and the stated reason is that he didn't like starting over again in a new country and didn't like taking Sybbie so far away from family. That's fine? I guess. I loathe that he comes back saying that American capitalism is somehow better than European capitalism and he's kind of digging it now. That's just uncalled for. (I do appreciate that the greater social mobility of the US might appeal to him in that it strips the absolute top layer of society in the UK which is determined exclusively by birth, but I prefer a Tom who wants to dismantle the class system, not just escape the aristocracy and live in a class system that is slightly more permeable to people who get lucky. Julian's bullshit about "American capitalism is all down to hard work so that's why it appeals to someone like Tom!" makes my skin crawl.)

I can think of some things I wish happened in Boston! I don't think they're headcanons in the sense that I think they almost certainly having nothing to do with what we're actually given (and may in fact lowkey contradict some of it), but I'd love to see (or write, if I ever get off my ass) fic that actually deals with what it's like for Tom to be in a job and a life that isn't tied up in the aristocracy anymore for the first time in years (even when he was in Ireland with Sybil, I feel like it would have hovered over them) and confronts what he likes about being in business with his cousin -- and what he doesn't. I know it's 0% supported by canon and even contradicted by it and his new love of sucking capitalist dick, but I like to think of Tom seeing his cousin's purely capitalist enterprise and beginning to form the idea of starting his own business based on a cooperative model. Is it believable that Talbot & Branson has any elements of the cooperative model in the way it's run? Probably not, but I like to pretend. I think, despite the fact that he says he gets on great with his cousin and there wasn't any bad blood between them when he left, it would be interesting if there were some ideological differences about the business.

The absolute most interesting thing that could have happened to him in Boston would have been to see him re-introduced to radical politics, but canon pretty clearly contradicts that and in fact has him become less and less radical as time goes on. Unfortunately. But I'd read the hell out of a fic that explored the way the Irish in the US were funding radical movements back in Ireland and Tom getting sucked into that. I'd also love to see him involved with the GAA or Gaelic League in Boston (or in Yorkshire, tbh -- I want more Tom and the expat community in general). /tangent

Genuinely, working with what we're given, my actual headcanon is super boring. Again, I do think that Tom's life/career drift after Sybil's death is at least as much a product of Julian not knowing what to do with the character as it is a conscious choice to show him lost and grieving (though we do get hints of that), BUT let's go ahead and interpret it as Tom feeling lost and directionless after he's lost his wife and the life the two of them planned together in Dublin. (Let's also set aside whether he'd actually be able to return to Ireland following the establishment of the Free State -- he's working under the assumption that he's lost his wife and his country in the space of a few months and can't get either back.) That's a huge loss and a lot of grief, and the two are compounding each other, and he gets into kind of a rut at Downton over the next few years. I think it's reasonable for him to think "Maybe I can just move and start over, and it will shake up my life, and this lost, listless feeling will be fixed!" And then it turns out that, actually, depression and grief and mourning for your wife and the life you planned together doesn't go away when you go to a new country! It doesn't fix things, it just takes away a lot of the support system he had in Yorkshire (the family generally, but mostly Mary tbh, and Isobel a bit, and maybe people at his church if we look outside what Julian lets us see). I think when he says that starting over in a new country all over again was too much, maybe that's what he's getting at. He may be writing to his cousins and keeping in touch, but presumably he hasn't seen this cousin face to face in years. He may have a few other contacts in Boston in the immigrant community. He can find a church and a community with the GAA and/or Gaelic League and other organizations like that. But these aren't people who've been in his life in a meaningful, daily way for a long, long time. He relied really heavily on Mary (and Matthew for the first year or so) and whatever the rest of his community in Yorkshire looked like at a very vulnerable time in his life, and I think maybe he underestimated how hard it would be to leave that and start over. For all that I whine about the way Tom's written later on in the series, I actually really like his friendship with Mary and Matthew and the way he and Mary seem to drift together after Sybil and Matthew die. I think it works very well and is very believable that, despite the fact that Mary wasn't jumping to welcome him into the family, they would become incredibly close.

Starting over is hard. He's probably trusting Sybbie to someone like his cousin's wife or a woman recommended to him by the local church while he's at work in Boston, and at Downton he was leaving her with the nanny while he worked, but she was in the family home, with her grandparents and aunts in and out of the house all day, and being with a stranger in Boston may have been hard on Sybbie. Also, to go from having a relationship with George that was probably more like siblings than cousins to being separated was probably difficult. Part of the problem could be that Sybbie was having trouble adjusting. And he fell into being the agent because the position was open, and he was drifting after Sybil died, and he needed an occupation, and it feels like he fell into the thing with the cousin because he felt like he was in a rut and wanted something different, and that's what was offered. I'm not sure stumbling between things that are available is the same as making conscious choices about what you really want out of life. Looking at it that way, maybe it's not so surprising that whatever he had going on in Boston never quite gelled. That doesn't necessarily make me think it makes tons of sense for him to come straight back to Downton -- I can think of other choices I'd make for him if the initial plan with the cousin doesn't work -- but for all that he disapproves of aristocracy, I do think he loves the Crawleys and regards them as family by the time he tries moving to Boston.

All that feels unsatisfying. I'd love a good take that had something big happen in Boston, though. Old girlfriend from back in Ireland has also immigrated? Old boyfriend? Is he lying when he says he and his cousin didn't have a falling out? Did he manage to get himself into politically related legal trouble again? (I can't quite make that last one work in my head because while he doesn't seem to mind destruction of property, he seems disinclined to participate in anything that might lead to people getting hurt, and I think he'd be very hesitant to put his neck out in a big way once he's Sybbie's only living parent, but it would be interesting if someone could come up with something. Labor organizing goes sideways, maybe? Even though he seems to be leaning into capitalism more than I like...?) You definitely make me want to come up with something better than the hints we get.