#tbh i’m genuinely curious to know what other people think

[scumvillainess]

look, it’s been a while since i’ve read svsss so there’s definitely some things about the novel that i’ve forgotten (and also i’m more of a qijiu girlie anyways (doomed yaoi? doomed yaoi!)) but can someone explain to me why people hate bingqiu/bingyuan so much?

[sabertoothwalrus]

I’ve seen you post some labru stuff and I’m curious what your thoughts on it are. personally I don’t see it? I can buy Kabru having feelings for Laios, but I think Laios wouldn’t be interested in Kabru, so it makes me wonder why so many people ship them. (Tbh I feel like Kabru has more chemistry with Mithrun anyway)

Sorry if this ask sounds rude, I just genuinely don’t understand the appeal of the ship, but I want to understand and I trust your analysis of characters very much :] maybe there’s something I’m missing

I really like both ships, actually!

For labru, there’s sooooo much I could talk about. The inherent homoeroticism of being narrative foils. The inherent homoeroticism of being the king’s advisor. All of chapter 76. The fact that Kabru has mask upon mask upon mask, and Laios is the first person that made his facade absolutely crumble.

Kabru struggles with being genuine!!! Everything he says and does is so perfectly calculated, even when he sort of means it. But since Laios doesn’t get social cues, Kabru gets thrown for a loop.

I get so frustrated when people act like Kabru still hates Laios by the end of the manga!!!!! He killed those corpse retrievers for being corrupt, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill Laios. He has such a strong sense of justice, and knew that killing Laios would be a mistake. Because, after meeting him, he could tell he wasn’t actually evil. He’s strange, sure, but not evil.

Kabru DEFINITELY wants to be friends with Laios!! He was not lying about this!!!

But this last comic shows how much Laios wants to be friends with Kabru, too. He’s so nervous after calling Kabru his friend 😭 he doesn’t want to be presumptuous and fuck it up again.

Laios does show an interest in Kabru, at least when Laios thinks he’s interested in eating monsters too. Like,, what was up with THIS

Laios’s gaze is LINGERING. Plus, (this is before that bit at Thistle’s house when he forgets his name) he brings up Kabru when they first form their plan to eat Falin.

And maybe this is just because of my own personal experiences, but Laios reminds me a lot of my own girlfriend. I think they have a similar flavor of gay/aspec & autism combo where, had I not asked her out first, she probably never would have considered being interested in me. But she was very down when I did.

The tricky part about labru is more the political aspect. Regardless of whether you see Laios as aroace or not, he’s in a situation where he will probably get married. He had a fiancée before he was age 13, likely betrothed since he was a baby. He’s already comfortable with the idea of getting married because He’s Supposed To.

However, Laios is king, and could make gay marriage legal if he wanted to (He would probably do this for his sister and Marcille before considering it for himself ). But at the same time, I think Kabru would object to Laios making whatever policies he wants without considering the repercussions of how other kingdoms might react, especially when they’re just getting Melini off the ground and need lots of support from other countries. Laios and Kabru getting gay married anyway and dealing with the aftermath could make for a really compelling story.

I do think Kabru would be a good ruler. He’s already fit for it. He speaks a dozen languages, he knows people and their motivations, and likes politics. The manga already joked about Chilchuck’s daughters trying to marry a king, so it seems like noble blood isn’t too important, but Kabru’s foster family IS nobility. When it comes to heirs, I do like trans Kabru headcanons, but at the same time, I think it’d be cute if they adopt anyway. Kabru seems like he’d have strong feelings about adoption given,,, yknow.

The alternative version of labru to this is Laios gets straight married out of obligation, and Kabru is his mistress hdhdhshsj. I don’t know if I could see Laios doing that? or if Kabru would risk the scandal of being outed as Royal Advisor and Regent trying to seduce the king. It could go SO downhill. but maybe that would be fun.

NOW FOR KABUMISU.

I knew people shipped them, and I could see the basis for it while reading, but I wasn’t really sold on it until the very end. There’s something about “I had no desires left. I decided to create new desires, and one of them is you” that’s really charming.

There’s also something funny about “the demon ate my heterosexuality so I’m gay now”

I think it’s interesting that Kabru hates elves. He was raised by them, and he hates them. He hates feeling patronized by them. He made absolutely sure that elves wouldn’t take control over Melini, not just for his sake, but for Rin’s.

But Mithrun’s interactions with Kabru are founded on more mutual respect. Though, that’s not to say that Mithrun doesn’t still have his biases towards short lived races..

Where Laios doesn’t understand social cues, Mithrun does but just doesn’t care. For that reason, I think Kabru would enjoy spending time with Mithrun. It’d give him a break from his compulsion to calculate all of his social interactions. But at the same time, Kabru is the KING at bottling his emotions. Mithrun is blunt, but also doesn’t care enough to pry. If Kabru had anything bothering him, I could imagine him seeking Mithrun’s company to avoid thinking about it. Could make for a fun dynamic.

I do think it’s funny that Milsiril 1) took care of Mithrun for potentially 20 years and 2) is only four years older than him. I imagine this could lead to funny situations.

I don’t ship things for no reason! I think both of these could work platonically, romantically, one-sided, or even “requited but they don’t do anything about it.” Their relationships compel me and I think it’s sort of bad faith to brush off either like they’re nothing more than baseless yaoi pair-the-spares. To me, I see just as much of a foundation in the source material as farcille.

After all, dungeon meshi isn’t a story about romance, but it IS a story about love. It’s a story about life and death and grief and the love that comes with it. Regardless of shipping, these characters love each other!!! And I love talking about it!!

[vodkababy]

video recordings 🍨🎭 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚

tom kaulitz x fem! reader

fluff? i seriously do not KNOW what kind this is tbh

age pairing : 15-16

warnings : none

i could never express any kind of feelings towards people. it just didn't seem like someone who i was.

she grabbed her camcorder from her 11th birthday, placed it down the table by her bed and fixed her hair. she always recorded herself during every one of her birthdays, this is the 5th time she's done it.

“my name is _______, it’s 2005 now, so i’m currently 16. uh-“ she rambled. hearing the door creak open.

“hello?” a voice called. it was tom, one of her best friends.

best friends who have unsaid feelings about each other.

“oh, it’s you.” she looked up at him and smiled.

when you two met, tom was in a band, tokio hotel. you were quite surprised to be friends with a rocker.

being friends with someone like tom was like a job. he was spontaneous, he was the right amount of sugar and spice. he wasn’t always nice. sure, he was like one of those slacking teenagers who were always on the couch, but he was a serious person.

he was never the one to be sarcastic to you - but to be genuine with you. it was shocking to you, as he was a playboy after all. he grew up on an addiction to porn, magazines of naked women and the thought of sex made him smile mischievously.

she was a reserved girl. a quiet girl, a soft spoken girl, who dressed up like it was always winter. she never usually showed a lot of skin, as they would call her; “a girl with decency”. secretly, she would go to clubs without the permission of her mother - dressed in all sorts of tiny clothes, ones that her parents would probably never think of her to have.

tom would never call her a “hoe”. to him, she was like an angel. she was precious, like a doll. she was that one piece of innocence in his life.

“are you recording?” tom asked. walking to her bed, and plopping down next to the girl.

“what do you think?” she says, rolling her eyes playfully.

he scooted closer to her, their arms touching. positioning the camera over on their faces.

“i never would have thought of you to be a vlogger.” he chuckles. looking into her eyes once deeply. “you’re pretty. you’re like an angel.”

he takes her features in. her cat-like eyes, her long lashes, her slightly flushed pink cheeks and her lips. he stares at her lips for a second - immediately flashing his eyes back into her eyes again.

her gaze on him softens, her face going pink. all of a sudden, in his eyes, she looks like an angel. the yellowish light from her old lamp reflecting onto her face. the slight glitter on her eye lids shining, her lips glossy.

“you know that, right?”

“know what?”

“that you’re beautiful.” he says, tucking a piece of hair into her ear. they both don’t say anything. without warning they both close the gap in between them. his hands on her hips, digging into her skin. her arms on his neck.

they go on about this for about 15 minutes, his lips starting to trail down from her lips to her jaw.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ time flies by to 2006.

y/n was sat on her beside diana, one of her friends who came over to hang out. diana couldn’t help but be curious about the camcorder that was placed on the shelves of her bedroom.

“what’s this?” diana said, picking it up.

“it’s my camcorder. you can check if you want.” y/n answers nonchalantly.

diana checks the videos on y/n’s camcorder, one video particularly catching her eye. it was tom and y/n’s video, making out. y/n hears the video playing, and immediately couldn’t wrap the sounds that were familiar on her finger.

“what video’s playing?”

“you and some boy making out.”

shit.

[firstkanaphans]

Hello Sarah sorry to bother you. I'm a new fan kinda but I'm done with watching all the firstkhao dramas (together and individual) but tbh I'm kinda lost on how I will get to know them better. I have no idea about their irl personalities that much. Maybe you can give a little introduction for me if it's not too much of a bother? Also like how they met and why are they doing so many projects together? And are they good friends irl too (my friend told me a lot of time pair actors don't really get along with each other which is why I got curious about their dynamic) Sorry if these questions are a bit dumb I'm altogether very new in bl fandoms so don't have a lot of ideas.

Oh, Anon. I don’t think you know what you’ve signed up for here. If you want a FK primer, I can give you a FK primer!

Both First and Khaotung started working for GMMTV back in 2018. I’m pretty sure talent agents simply slid into their DMs, so there was no formal audition process, but I could be wrong about that. They were both in university at the time. I’m not quite sure what they were doing that attracted the attention of the talent agents. I know First had been in at least one commercial prior, but I don’t believe Khaotung had done any acting. He had, however, had a picture go viral because he’s just so stinkin’ adorable. I think maybe this one? 

Or it could have been one of these…

Either way, they ended up in an acting workshop together right after they joined. Khaotung talks about how he didn’t like First at first because he was too friendly and talkative, but I think that must have only lasted for like a day because it was during this same workshop where he discovered that his heart beats to the sound of First’s name—“FirFirFir”—and yes, that is a real thing that he has admitted out loud on multiple occasions. They have been best friends ever since.

From there, the two of them began to act in individual projects—mostly BLs—and although I have no proof of this, I am entirely convinced that they were playing a long con to get themselves partnered together. They did way more fanservice before they were partnered than they do now. Feel free to watch this live from 2020 where they alternate between staring lovingly in each other's eyes and just outright flirting for an hour straight.

Look, they’re smart boys. They knew that their best path to success in this industry was to be in a fixed pair and they wanted that pair to be each other. How do I know? Because these two adorable idiots were showing up to events in matching outfits.

This picture was taken in January 2021 when Tonhon Chonlatee was actively airing! There's a picture from this same event of them with Podd, who Khao was paired with, and Podd looks like the odd man out.

They were finally paired together for The Eclipse in 2022 and spent the entire press tour either talking about how excited they were to finally work together or crying about the possibility that they might never be able to work together again. I would highly recommend you watch The Eclipse special episode if you haven’t already. In it, First talks about how there was one scene where Khao wasn’t supposed to cry but he kept crying anyway because First was crying and he cared about First so much. 

And speaking of crying, if you want to watch a compilation of FK crying about how much they love each other (and other things!), you can find that here.

One thing I would recommend if you want to get to know FK better is to watch a bit of Safehouse Season 4. It’s unscripted, so you’ll get a sense of their personalities, but First was also in an arm cast at the time, so you’ll get to watch Khao dote on him for seven days straight.

Oh and you have to watch this! If you ever see people talking about the voices in First’s head, that's why.

Obviously, we can never truly know what goes on behind closed doors for any of these BL couples, but I feel pretty confident in saying that FirstKhao are genuine besties. They literally do everything together. You can find a collection of some of their lovestagram pics here although there are so many more now. It never stops.

Actual things they have said to each other un-prompted:

First to Khao: I want to build a house with the same fences as you.

Khao to First: As you grow up, you will meet many new friends. Leave them and stay with me.

I’m wracking my brain for anything else that feels important for a new fan to know and am coming up blank, but I’m sure I’ll probably think of something right after I post this. They’re both just super sweet individuals who have never been involved in any controversy and I think what people love most about them is just how much they care about each other. They’ve got that whole platonic soulmate thing going on and we're all super jealous.

[wikitpowers]

What’s your opinion on Julian and Kit’s relationship?!

I feel like I see a lot of people head canon or think they had a sibling like relationship but IMO I don’t think Jules really cared for Kit/didn’t mind him. Like not a hate or a dislike but just as someone who’s there

What do u think!!! I’m curious since your like the Kit expert 🫡😉

oh this will be interesting!

side note: U CALLING ME A KIT EXPERT ACTUALLY MADE MY DAY! UR SO SWEET! THANK U SO SO MUCH, LOVE 🫶🏻

as for kit/julian relationship, i share the same thoughts as u! i don't think julian hates him or anything extreme like that, but i definitely agree that (especially in tda) he's kinda indifferent to him. tbh when u are out there raising 4 kids, u really don't stop to think about another strange kid entering the household. baby had a lot on his plate, so we gotta give him the benefit of the doubt here :')

but i think julian does like kit despite their few interactions. like during the car scene in lm when kit tells julian that ty isn't weird, he's just autistic, i think julian starts to respect him in that moment. he sees that kit won't judge his brother. and honestly, i think he probably felt more at ease when he saw kit, ty and livvy hanging out because of it. i think julian sees how happy the kiddos are with kit around (especially the twins). i bet julian's thoughts are just "he's a good kid" (<- because he's a dad).

i think their relationship is kinda different in sobh. like the scene where kit assumes that jules doesn't want to see him bc he's "on ty's side" broke me in ways u cannot imagine. atp, i think julian knows that something (whatever it may be) went on between kitty and he realises that both of them had something special together, that ty was happier with kit around. i hc that in the back of his mind he's like "we gotta help fix this, i can see that kit is suffering just as much as ty is." i think he genuinely does want kit to be happy :(

so in general, i think they respect each other. like kit wants to do good, to show julian that he isn't a threat to the blackthorns, that he can be trusted. he knows that julian is super protective so he wants julian to trust him and i think he does. honestly, i think julian acknowledges and appreciates kit efforts and sees how easily he fits into the blackthorn's everyday lives. so, they might not interact much, but i think they still truly care about each other <3

honestly though, i think twp will be the series where we see kit and julian's relationship shift more when julian realizes that his brother is in love with our little blondie. and it will be crazy <3

[superfallingstars]

Hello, do you have any marauders fic recs? I’m a big marauders fan but I’m so tired of reading fics where they feel completely out of character, and I feel like you might know something I don’t

Aw man I’m the wrong person to ask for this, I don’t really read fics very often lol. I’ll try to enlist the help of some people whose Marauders opinions I trust and who might have better recs than me (tbh I’m also curious to hear), but I’ll share the few that I’ve come across, too. Apologies if you've already read them.

I think my most relevant rec is The Night Will Always Win by betweenfactandbreakfast, which is a canon-compliant Marauders era fic from 1975-1981. Admittedly I haven’t finished it – tbh I liked it so much that I had to stop reading it, which sounds so incredibly dumb now that I wrote it out, but I was legitimately getting pissed off that I had to do things in real life instead of reading it lmao. Time to take a step back...! Either way, I’ve really enjoyed it so far. And I’ve seen @seriousbrat's inbox turn into a battleground of endless Snape vs. Marauders discourse, so I know their feelings on the characters are pretty similar to mine lol (and hiii I know you have been in this fandom for much longer than I have, so maybe you have some good recommendations?). Basically this is a good fic if you want everyone to be a terrible person <3

The other fic I can rec is Have Your Cake and Eat It by cunegonde, aka my favorite fic of all time (that I could scream about literally foreverrrr but I’ll try to reel myself in!). This is a good fic if you want everyone to be a good person. Also this fic has time travel in it, so it’s like, kind of Marauders era, but not quite? Even though it’s kind of cliche, it’s also incredibly earnest and thoughtfully done, and it has interesting (and imo, realistic!) characterizations of each of the Marauders. Tbf I’m definitely biased toward this author’s work because they basically only write Snupin (my personal fave pairing), but reading their stuff is like, genuinely why are you writing Harry Potter fanfiction and not a full-length original novel, because holy fuck I think you could actually pull that off. Like, I loved this fic so much that I (person who doesn't read fanfic) immediately read everything else they wrote and finished it all in two days... Also this fic made me cry for literally an hour straight (probably the strongest emotional reaction I’ve had to any piece of media ever lol) – even though I knew what was coming. It was just that good.

Unfortunately that’s literally all I got lol. I’m going to tag some people who I think have similar takes on the Marauders as I do – @seriousbrat @remus-poopin @big-scary-bird @saintsenara – hiii, add on if you’d like. And anyone else who has recommendations of Marauders fics with good characterization, feel free to chime in!

[princessbrunette]

im not a big john b girlie but you write him so well! your most recent one w toxicex!reader n all was so well written!

you seriously nail dialogue so well, they feel so human and their dialogue conveys such nuance and glimpses into their personality and motivations. i'm genuinely such an impressed by writing and incredible skill, you have such a seamless way with words, painting a really charged, and clear image of these characters and scenarios.

p.s some questions if youre willing to answer !

what got you into writing fan fiction?

do you write your own original stories, or are you more happy and comfortable exploring these fictional worlds as is?

would you say writing is an outlet for you, from life, or drama, or work?

when it comes to dialogue, what do you think is more important - what is said or what isn't and

do you have any particular literary inspirations for dialogue (i.e a film with good dialogue like 'before sunrise' or a novel like 'normal people' or something) or are you more thinking of just real, conversations or straight from shows (like outerbanks, and etc) and watching how they talk rather than trying to emulate any other style?

sorry if this sounds like an interview or if this is a bit much or overwhelming. i've been reading your stuff for like a good year now, and i'm just curious!

adore your work, hope all is well sending hugs n love :)) x

this is literally so sweet <3 made me so happy tysm!! of course i’ll answer ur questions ♡

what got you into writing fan fiction?

well tbh i’ve been writing ‘fanfiction’ since before i knew what it was. i’ve mentioned a few times on this blog but i had this little notebook (that i still have!) where i’d write loads of self insert stories when i was roughly 9-10 years old. i would insert myself into my favourite disney shows with the characters i had a crush on etc. it was my favourite thing to do, id bring my notebook with my everywhere and it could keep me entertained for hours! that’s probably where i got my start.

do you write your own original stories, or are you more happy and comfortable exploring these fictional worlds as is?

on tumblr particularly i’m more comfortable adapting universes that already exist because i enjoy the community i can / have built off relating characterisations with other people on the internet. i can have some sort of semblance of whether or not im doing an okay job based on the feedback. however, i grew up writing for a stage / screen too, which i’ve recently gotten back into and i do deeply enjoy creating a universe from scratch.

would you say writing is an outlet for you? from life, drama or work?

not particularly! moments in my real life have absolutely inspired by writing but i’m not sure i use it as an escape. as someone with autism, routine is really important to me. i write as part of my routine mostly every single day whether i post something or not — and if i don’t write i actually feel pretty thrown off. i also write in other forms, for example i love journalling. i think if anything were to be an outlet it would be that.

when it comes to dialogue, what do you think is more important? what is said or what isn’t?

that’s a really interesting question and honestly i’m not sure! i think it varies from fic to fic. i do think what isn’t said can be very powerful, however i believe in order to grasp what is being conveyed without words the reader would really need to understand the character — and to my understanding not every reader does. not only do i know that based off requests i receive occasionally trying to force characters into boxes i personally think they do not belong — but not everyone is here to understand, period. some readers are casual readers, just here to thirst because they saw a couple of edits they liked (which is great, no problem with that!) in which case i like to make my writing accessible to everyone and i try to make their intention as verbatim as possible.

do you have any particular literary inspirations for dialogue (i.e a film with good dialogue like 'before sunrise' or a novel like 'normal people' or something) or are you more thinking of just real, conversations or straight from shows (like outerbanks, and etc) and watching how they talk rather than trying to emulate any other style?

not any that i can remember! i focus more on trying to make my characters seem like they stepped directly off the show even if it’s based in an au. i want readers to be able to hear the intonation in their voice, understand why they’d stutter when they did, see their facial expression as they say it in their head the same way they would if they were watching outerbanks. however, when i read over my drabbles — i often reimagine them as if they were adapted to a film instead. i would give anything to watch all of my drabbles on a private screen, each of them produced in a sofia coppola style of cinema. that would be really fun and girly and aesthetically pleasing i think.

i hope that answered your questions adequately !! 🩷

[the-bi-space-ace]

Hey so I just read your mini essay on the complexity of Crosshair’s beliefs and experiences with loyalty (rip my heart out, why don’t you), and I’m curious about your insights into Hunter’s personality, because out of all of them, he’s the most difficult for me to get a read on. Like, he cares about Omega and the squad, but do we actually see much of his personality beyond the caregiver?

To me he doesn’t show emotional clarity/steadfastness like Wrecker, or loyalty like Crosshair, or duty like Echo, and ambition like Tech. He generally takes things in quietly and seems to have become more indecisive as the show progresses (which makes sense cuz the batch suddenly went from a 100% success rate on missions to “everything that can go wrong does go wrong”). But I want to know Hunter better!! What are your thoughts and opinions?

Hi! I'm sorry it took me so long to reply. I just really wanted to think it through and post something in depth. I’m glad you read the Crosshair post (even if it did rip your heart out, I’m so sorry <3). To be completely honest with you I had no idea what to say about Hunter at first but I’ve given it a few days to think and I actually have a few things that I want to discuss.

Caveat that when I watch The Bad Batch I’m not usually focused on Hunter. Primarily because I just connect with the personalities of the rest of the batch more. There’s no problem with connecting with certain characters more than others, it is just personal preference 😊

Regardless, I have some thoughts, and I am genuinely so excited to talk about this after giving it a few days to think about what my full opinion is.

With the caveat in mind I have some opinions on Hunter that fuel my own viewpoint on his character and how I tend to write him in my own fanfics. To me Hunter has always been very… closed. Even in the Clone Wars he tends to stand back, be silent, only really speaking to give orders, question plans, or occasionally make fun of the rest of the 99. Despite the batch’s tendency to disregard orders and regulation (for better or for worse) Hunter has always thrived under direct understanding of where he stands. That’s why he works well with people like Cody and Rex. They give him clear… not exactly direction but something similar. He understands the rules. He knows how to break them. When the rules change with Order 66 he is thrust into something uncomfortable and instead of taking the problem and tackling it he just doesn’t do that. I am certainly not the first to point out that Hunter is avoidant. He always was.

He lets the batch get into fights and he doesn’t step in until he absolutely needs to. He doesn’t jump to defend immediately - typically, although there are exceptions.

(The way he defends Crosshair from Howzer in S3 E6 comes to mind. I’m still tossing that moment around as a repair attempt tbh. They’ve fought and hashed out some of the messy bits and now they are quietly proving to each other that they’re willing to patch things up.)

He lets his squad sort things out on their own and when it gets out of hand he’ll step in. Hell, I think the best example of this is actually when Rex punches Crosshair. Hunter never actually steps into that fight and I think it is partially because of this avoidant tendency. (The rest maybe because he knew Crosshair bit off more than he could chew and he was willing to let a swift right hook teach that lesson.) We actually see Wrecker step up to defend the squad more than Hunter does. This makes sense to me - Wrecker is big and intimidating and Crosshair and Tech tend to be mouthy. Hunter might be the sergeant of this squad but he certainly isn’t the sole protector nor should he be. (Hunter is still protective - the clones we meet tend to be - just not in the exact ways the rest of them are.)

This avoidance is why we see him ignore the Crosshair situation and latch onto giving Omega a normal life. I am not going to pretend that I like the way he ignores this situation but he reacted exactly how I expected him to. He was thrust into the unknown and without the proper rules he ended up throwing all of his attention onto one thing he felt like he could control. I’ve known plenty of people who do that. Hell, I’ve done that. That doesn’t mean it is the healthiest way to deal with pain or loss or grief. It’s a coping mechanism.

Once he’s sure it’s the chip controlling Crosshair he really latches onto this idea that if they just take the chip out then everything will be fine and dandy. In the same way that Crosshair latches onto this idea that if the batch just joins the empire that they can be whole again.

They’re both wrong.

You can tell he’s really internalized this idea of taking out the chip and everything fixing itself and when that dream is shattered he continues to disappear inside of himself. When things aren’t as simple as taking the chip out to bring Crosshair home he’s angry that suddenly this is more than just a simple fix and he doesn’t know where he stands anymore. There’s anger and hurt directed at him and the rest of the batch and he gets defensive because he thinks there shouldn’t be. He gets increasingly angry and much more confrontational than we’ve seen him be with Crosshair so far. Another worldview shattered, another chip in his already fragile armor, another reason to be fucking pissed. His anger at Crosshair finally pushed him into action, away from avoidance. Is it healthy? Still no. But none of them are really experts at coping. At least he’s letting it out. At least it is in the open. At least we are seeing his emotions bubble over onto the surface. That is what makes me personally interested. Those messy, painful, unhelpful emotions wreacking havoc and making things worse.

We see Hunter buckle down and let his anger fester. I think he continues to do that all the way through season 2 and his conflict with Echo isn’t helping. I have an entire post somewhere in my drafts about Echo and Hunter’s joint leadership but I’ll boil it down to a few points to focus them on Hunter.

Hunter needs a second in command especially now. He isn’t at his best as a leader and maybe that’s not really what the batch needs right now. The GAR is gone. Their lives are upside down. He needs support but he won’t ask for it - stubborn as hell he is. That’s why Echo really helps. I rewatched the seasons specifically to focus on Echo and I think we can see signs of his and Hunter’s joint leadership from the very beginning even before Hunter needs him for support. In a world of uncertainty you need someone to hold on to, someone to help make decisions. His conflict with Echo in season two is just making him more unsteady. The prospect of losing someone else and losing his voice of reason is wearing on him and it only gets worse as time goes on. Sure, he knows they can get by without Echo around but I don’t think he wants that. He was leaning on Echo and once they started disagreeing he realized that maybe he was going to either have to open himself up to relying on everyone else or close up again.

I’d wager that he chose the latter for the most part.

Hunter doesn’t like relying on others. He has this big idea in his head that he’s meant to be the one who has it down but… come on. None of us can do that. I’ve seen a lot of people compare Hunter to an oldest sibling and as the youngest of four I’m not sure I really have much insight into that particular notion but as the sibling who took on the greatest responsibilities in my home I feel this tug of responsibility to the detriment of yourself and others and I see you, Hunter. I see you and you need to stop.

Maybe that’s why I get so frustrated with Hunter in particular. I want him to grow out of this. I want him to change and develop and be angry and show his care more often. That’s part of why I loved S3 E5 so much. Hunter got fucking pissed. He was angry and he let it out and he shoved Crosshair and he showed just how badly he was hurt by everything. Fuck I love that. This is what I wanted to see. Finally he’s forgetting to keep it together and in front of Crosshair he is finally willing to lose his temper. Something really tells me that they used to lose their temper at each other because it was safe to. They clearly don’t know how to talk about their emotions and sort it out like many of us know or learn to - that will hopefully come with time and maturity - but they sure did know how to yell and use their strength against each other. So they fight. And they hurt each other. Then they make up and move forward because what else are they meant to do? They’re going to forgive each other. It’s how it always is - a given.

Hunter’s relationship to loyalty is not anywhere near the same as Crosshair’s but all of the batch end up having some relationship with it one way or another. There’s an excellent post floating around tumblr somewhere and I couldn’t find it to save my life (if you know what I’m talking about and can find the post feel free to link it somewhere) but it says something about how eventually the batch is going to embody the idea that they ‘don’t leave their own behind’ because they simply haven’t remained true to that sentiment yet - through lack of choice or active avoidance. They’ve repeated it a few times and yet the sentiment feels flat as they keep having to leave members of their squad behind or let them walk away themselves. Eventually they’re going to have to prove this sentiment and only then do I really think the show’s true theme can be accomplished.

I want to touch briefly on Hunter’s relationship to touch because I think it comes into play here (and it is admittedly one of my favorite things about him.) He uses touch a lot more than I think we give him credit for. Yes he’s closed off emotionally and he’s not great at talking but he does use touch a lot. He uses it with Echo for reassurance and as a factor to convince him of things often. A plan Echo doesn’t like? Shoulder touch. Echo is still new and Hunter is telling him he’ll get used to things? Shoulder touch. Saying goodbye, serious chat, acknowledging his worries? Touch touch touch. This man doesn’t always know how to use his words but he’s good at putting what he means into a physical reminder. What does the touch say? Loads of things. That he’s there, that what he is saying is not meant to hurt, that he’s pissed, that he’s listening. He does it with Wrecker and Omega and - thinking of their fight - Crosshair but I can’t actually think of an instance where he uses touch with Tech. I could have just missed it so let me know if there are scenes where he does this. He’s relied on physical reminders for so long that maybe words just… aren’t what he uses to communicate. You can feel the way his mood shifts when him and Echo are disagreeing by the way he moves him physically. It’s really those moments that I feel Hunter shines most because those moments are where he feels most open as a character - at least from my perspective.

I use his relationship to touch when I write him and, specifically, when that touch is rejected, what does that feel like for him? When I write him I look at it from a perspective of how he interacts with the world and what he thinks he can give to it. When his most comfortable form of communication - that shoulder touch we all tease about - is rejected and he can’t rely on that anymore what does that look like? Could just be the fact that I lean very heavily towards touch as a form of communication and repair but I focus on it a lot and it deserves a mention while talking about Hunter.

In truth, Hunter is hard for me. I see the avoidance, I see the anger, I see his pain, and yet I still have this feeling that I don’t really see him. What does Hunter really want? Because we’ve only ever seen him talk about what he wants to do for other people. But what motivates Hunter? We can say that it’s keeping his people safe or that it’s settling down or even just boil it down to Omega but what is actually under the surface there? For everyone else I can pretty much pinpoint what it is that motivates them but Hunter is a blank area for me. He says what motivates him but I am much more inclined to believe there is something else really eating at him underneath it all. I also want to suggest that maybe he hides behind doing things for other people to avoid feeling selfish. If he’s doing all of this to protect his squad then he’s not doing all of this because he wants to and it’s not a selfish decision. While I don’t think finding somewhere safe to settle down is selfish I get the feeling that maybe Hunter thinks it is for him specifically. Like he is not allowed to but maybe if it’s about everyone else then it’s fine. It’s always ‘Omega deserves better’ and ‘you betrayed us.’ Never ‘this is what I want and this is how I feel.’

Crosshair’s value system is very strict and at times harsh and unmoving. Echo has a sense of duty and protection that is strong enough to push him into action. Wrecker is motivated by the thrill of things but also by supporting his loved ones. Tech is curious and intelligent, seeking out new experiences and an interest in preservation. But what is Hunter’s motivation aside from ‘settle down’? That’s a goal, sure, but I’m not sure it’s really the right word to place on what he really wants deep down outside of what he wants for other people. I’m not sure I really know the answer to that question.

To make a long post even longer I’d like to see what Hunter wants when it is not connected to his service to other people. What is it that fuels him? Is it the serene calmness of safety that he craves? Being free from worry? Is it the freedom to make choices that he never would have gotten in the GAR? I’m almost inclined to say it’s a bit of everything but I still don’t really know and I would love to actually hear what people think the baseline motivator is for him personally.

[vroomian]

What do you suppose has Alastor deciding yrx is friend-shaped? I remember you posting about how yrx sees how uncomfortable Alastor gets to being hit on and recognizes yrx being respectful of his boundaries, so I’m curious what would be a turning point in their relationship?

ok so this is the accumulation of many many random meetings. after yrz quits sex work but before he finds his perfect location for his bookshop, he bounces around hell working random jobs just to have something to do. he waited tables, ran drugs, delivered food, and worked at a coffee shop just to learn the secret of their peppermint mocha blend. (this has the effect of making yrz's network of 'i know a guy' people hilariously wide. if yrz doesn't know a guy, he knows a guy who knows a guy. yrz has more friends in this au than any other.)

while he's running around he develops a habit of listening to Alastor's radio show. it' a good way to get gossip, events, and genuinely entertaining. alastor, surprise surprise, is good at his job :)

the second time he and Alastor meet it's while yrz is out running errands for an elderly imp who needs a personal shopper, yrz sees alastor on the street and instead of avoiding him like a sane person decides to say hi. alastor does remember yrz as a strange spot of decency on an otherwise uncomfortable night. they talk about alastors latest show and yrz drops some hot gossip about a deal gone wrong between so and so and alastor's deer ears perk up like owo whats' this?? a source of the good tea???

and that's how it starts. yrz seems to know a little about everything, actus as an informal informant, plus he's good at listening and we all know how much alastor loves a captive audience. i think the turning point from acquaintances to actual friends is that Alastor actually offers yrz some of his personal cooking (it's people obviously) and yrz actually has some (yrz: when in rome lol). It's not to yrz's taste but he's game to try anything at least once. how else would he learn new shit?

(look. They are literally in hell. Yrz is all about relative morality tbh.)

But after that alastor genuinely finds yrz to be good company and feels comfortable enough to ask a favor to stay with him after he gets back into town after his disappearance.

(i think that maybe the reason that alastor’s radio towers are still standing after he’s been gone so long is because yrz has been keeping an eye on them.)

[loganlermanstanaccount]

Just to kiss me (Part 5)

pairing: Finnick Odair x reader

(AO3 mirror)

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part 4, My Hunger Games Masterlist

summary: Life goes on. You get a message from Finnick. 

warnings: some light angst, but other than that, none.

required reading: The song "We'll never have sex" by Leith Ross &lt;;3

a/n: ....I'm gonna stop making promises I can't keep lmfao. It's exam szn rn and uni wants me dead tbh. But I promise I'll finish this fic if it kills me sooo… enjoy!

taglist (comment if you'd like to be added <3): @agent-grey-fics, @starhastoomanyfandoms

wc: 3.8k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You look perfect, you look different

I don't wonder about your indifference

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You arrive to a quiet house.

Not that it was out of the ordinary. Whilst you weren’t the type to party from dusk till dawn, arriving home after a late day at work, or a night in with Vonnie, was fairly by-the-by. You liked the routine: kicking on your slippers and closing the front door with a quiet click . Your mother, of course, nowhere to be seen. Not that you’d complain.

This morning, however, feels different. Your body burns with the aftermath of the night before; and you practically float into the house. Your heart is heavy with what’s left after Finnick’s touch - you can’t forget him whether you wanted to or not. And you didn’t want to forget, the last couple hours on replay during the journey. You feel like a teenager again - giddy with the thought of seeing him again. You had given Finnick your number, as promised. Waiting for the buzz of the comms on your wrist would be agony, you’re sure of it.

You pad through your house absentmindedly. Past the grand double staircase, through the pristine rugs and floors of a parlour not oft used, and into the kitchen. You place the bag Finnick gave you on its floor, rummaging through the cupboards. Murmurs from your mother’s office, a room just beyond the parlour, break the spell. It stops you in your tracks: the distorted mumble behind the door. Your mother’s voice is distinct but you can’t hear what she’s saying. Is there someone else? Yes, you think, a man. There’s rustling, the swish of people standing up and then you hear it: a gravelly voice. 

Plutarch Heavensbee - Uncle Heavensbee - opens the door and you duck behind the counter, just in time. Your mother follows close behind him. There’s no predicting  what your mother would say if she saw you like this - clearly in someone else's clothes after an eventful night. 

“...and we need to move faster than anticipated.” Plutarch says. Your mother shuts the door to her office and shakes her head, seemingly frustrated.

“You know that’s not up to me.” She chews her lip - like you do when you think. “I’ve moved up the dinner, putting as many resources as I can afford into the campaign. I’ve been forced to recruit an idiot from Snow’s court, for God’s sake. I’m going as fast as I-”

“-Snow’s court?” He interrupts. “You don’t mean…?”

She brings a hand up to pause the white haired man. “...I know what it sounds like. You need to trust me.”

He nods. “I have my reservations, but I suppose-”

“We don’t have a choice.” She slaps a hand on his back, good-naturedly, and you almost keel over from your vantage point. She laughs - a genuine, hearty laugh - in the white and bronze of walls dripping in paintings. She walks him towards the door. “It was a pleasure doing business with you, old friend.”

“If anyone could do it, it’s you; Arachne.” He nods, warmly. They move out of earshot. In the distance, you hear the click of the door. 

You flop against the cool counter’s side, in relief. You know better than to internalise her words, curious; but knowing better than to pry. It had become second nature: flattening, playing the fool, turning a blind eye. Better blissfully unaware than dead. 

You brush yourself off, rummaging through drawers yet again. You look for something, stashed in the crevice of a drawer long ago. When you find it, you almost leap for joy - the silvered charm of a necklace heaped against the side. You clutch it in your palm and its stings, bittersweet.

~~~

You wait for a while, locked up in your room for the rest of the day. You’re restless; bouncing on the walls as you desperately try to fill the time. At first, it was the paperwork piled high on your desk - work you’d been putting off for a couple of weeks now. Steadily, you chip away at the files.

Trawling through them like the net of a fishing boat - some of it was for your own personal project, the rest were pages and pages of notes needing to be processed and uploaded. Your job was hardly exciting; preening in front of a desk for 8 hours. But, it was a job done all your own. It was the one thing you and your mother had agreed on fresh from the Academy - that you’d make your own way. Top marks, an early graduate, a brilliant academic record: you’d turned down other offers in lieu of a stunning career as a… glorified secretary. Not quite the plan, but it would do for now.

A buzz comes and you leap towards the comms long placed on your desk, out of sight. You shift in your seat to adjust your hair. If Finnick calls now, you want to look like you’ve slept a full 8 hours. Fumbling, you accept the call.

Vonnie’s face materialises on the desk in front of you. She's outside; an obnoxious hat flopping in front of her face. You recognise her background: the manicured back deck of Vonnie’s home and the buzz of her younger siblings clattering through rosebeds. 

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how hungover are you?” You groan at her glee. “1 being fresh as a field of daisies, and 10 being doubled over, shitfaced-”

“I heard you the first time, Von. I’m choosing to ignore it.”

She laughs, flashing pearly white teeth. Something mischievous brewing behind her smile, your sure of it. 

“How was last night, then?”

You pick at the pens on your desk. “Nothing special, I suppose.”

“...Is that all you’re gonna give me?” She’s exasperated at your nonchalance. “I’ve seen the videos! I want to know everything - who was there…”

“It was a masquerade-”

“What everyone was wearing…”

“I don’t know all the designers like you do-”

“The guy you spent the night with…”

That one catches you off guard. “T-That’s not… there wasn’t a guy … Von, c’mon-”

She tilts her head and gives you a look that says you should know better. You’d known one another for more than a decade and she can read you like a book: your facade was paper-thin and peeling, frankly. “Then where were you this morning?”

Fuck.

“I called, and no-one answered. You always answer.”

“I was… asleep?” You offer. She rolls her eyes.

“...and I’m best friends with Finnick Odair.”

You splutter. “It doesn’t… it’s not like that.”

Vonnie almost leaps out of her chair. “But something happened? There’s someone you’ve got your eye on?”

“...maybe.” 

She whoops and hollers so hard it makes you laugh. She’s up on her feet, dancing on the concrete, pulling one of her brothers to join her. Their joy is infectious - melodious giggles ringing around your own room. It’s like an old nursery rhyme: some-one’s-got-a-booy-friend, some-one’s-got-a-boooy-fr-

“It’s a dream come true! God, you’ve mean-mugged every single eligible bachelor this side of Panem,” The gap-toothed giggle of her brother comes through the call and she darts out of frame. 

“That’s unfair…”

“ Shut it, Val, or I’ll tell Dad you’ve been eating his-” There’s rustling on the other side as she pops back into view, flushed and panting. “D’you remember the guy you humiliated in Upper 6th?”

“He was a prick!”

“He was flirting ! That’s what people do, nowadays - they flirt.”

The Incident, as you’ve come to know it, happened a couple years ago. You were both in your last year of school, invited to your very first houseparty. Well, Vonnie had been invited - easygoing and friendly. You were like her shadow even then - sticking close to her in the pulse and thrum of the sprawling grounds. Too much money and time, you’d thought, dressed quite plainly in comparison to everyone else. Eventhough she had talked you through it on the pod there - who to look for, how to make small talk, the best places to avoid Jupe and his boneheaded antics. And it was going well, at first - you ate and laughed and drank - feeling like a normal teenager for the first time in years. Like people enjoyed your presence and didn’t shirk at you like they would in class. Like most things, the reality was much more mundane. It wasn't cruel, cold-hearted malice. They simply hadn’t noticed you were there.

Back then, in the kitchen of your classmate’s house; someone had pulled you to the side. Confident and sidling up to you with a glass of something in his hand. He stinks with the air of entitlement, the first son of such-and-such: attractive, sure, but not enough to warrant the reaction from Vonnie across the room, you think. You can barely remember the conversation; something about how good we’d look together and a clammy hand kneading at your thigh. The rest was a blur: a sharp right hook, and he’s on the floor clutching a bloody nose. You don’t regret it, honestly. You do regret the storm stoked by his asshole father, however.

“Did your mystery guy flirt? No, no. Not your MO. I bet he’s funny. Smart. He probably said something snarky and you fell head over heels for him.”

“Von-”

“You two, in the corner, whispering about how much everyone sucks, I suppose. Have you replaced me? Found someone else to talk shit with-”

“Vonnie!” She stops, eyes wide and innocent through the screen.

“If you want to shut me up, you need to give me something. Or I’ll keep going - and you know I can talk for the houses,” She threatens.

“We’re just friends, right now. I-I think.”

“...you think?” 

“He’s funny, of course he is. And kind. Perceptive, as well. I like being around him.”

She swoons, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead in faux shock. “You like him. In all my years …you like him.”

You groan again, head in your hands.

It’s nice, like this. Laughing with Vonnie about boys again. Like the last 24 hours were the plot of some soap you’d watch on the network when you were younger. She has a knack for this sort of thing; putting you at ease.

~~~

The first message from Finnick comes at work. You spend the first half of the day convincing yourself it doesn’t bother you; that you’re not at the beck and call of the chime of your comms. Not that you had many suitors vying for your attention, but there had been a few too many false alarms you'd jumped at. 

You're dropped off at Hadrian's offices; buzzed into the building by the Peacekeepers keeping guard by its entrance. 

"Mornin' Miss." You're greeted as you step through the doors, handing your keycard through the gaps of the glass by a desk. 

"Good morning, Dill." You nod as they scan it through. Dill, beaming in a crisp grey jumpsuit (standard issue), was the first person you met when you started the job 6 months ago. They were the closest thing you had to a friend in here - warm and kind as they took you around the office. You were quick on your feet but the unexpectedly fast-paced nature of the council had caused you to stumble, at first. 

"Didn't realise you were at the party."

You shrug. 

"I saw the pictures. How'd you get in?" 

"Hadrian invited me personally."

Handing back your pass, they snigger at your theatrics. "Must've lost my invite, then."

"Such a shame, Dill. You missed quite the party." Laughing over your shoulder, you tap your nose as you walk away. 

Your cubicle is simple, stationed at the mouth of Hadrian's personal chambers. He wasn't here yet, of course; oft preferring a 'graduated start to the day' . The speech he gave you on your first day sounded just as ridiculous as it did in the subsequent months: nattering on about responsibility and duty whilst he twiddled his thumbs for the best part of a couple hours. On the other hand, you were privy to his every move: every meeting, every phone call. On paper, you were responsible for data processing and handling: intending to overhaul his systems and software, like you had gone to the Academy for. In reality, you waited on his every whim and whine. A glorified secretary with the meagre wage to match. 

You were one of the lucky ones. As District 2's overseer, Councillor Hadrian had the workforce to match - most employed as security, button-pushers, or data entry. The man himself had the temperament of a spoiled cat, fancying himself a general, a commander, Snow's right hand man. A fool failing upwards, you thought. 

You perch at your desk, adjusting the tight collar at your neck. Your employer had strict standards and you were dressed as such: grey pencil skirt down past your knees, a starchy blouse with a straight collar and modestly heeled pumps. You itch at your stockings and stew at the screen, tapping away. 

When a buzz comes at your wrist you don't think anything of it. It's probably Vonnie, with a message about her dress; or your mother, stark and cryptid about her whereabouts. Another buzz comes. And another. And another. You tap at your comms and almost jump at messages. 

From: unknown

hey! 

From: unknown

think u forgot to return my sweater :p

From: unknown

this is finnick btw

From: unknown

not some creep or anything

Sent: You

You probably should have opened with that :) 

From: unknown

probably 

From: unknown

what r u doing rn? 

Sent: You

I'm at work, haha. 

From: unknown

the fancy office one, then

From: unknown

shit. is this a bad time? 

It makes you giggle, imagining Finnick on his comms somewhere. You can hear it in his voice: teasing, lilting. You peep out from your desk, hands darting to respond.

Sent: You

I’m doing a whole lot of nothing right now.

Sent: You

So no, not really.

From: unknown

slacking already…its pretty early, no?

Sent: You

It’s mostly fine… 

From: unknown

mostly?

Sent: You

Nothing’s exploded just yet.

There’s a rapping on the floor from the corridor over, which makes your head snap up. Hadrian, sharp and lithe, grey donned chin first into the room. You tuck away your comms, scrambling for his itinerary on the pad in front of you. He knocks on the lip of your desk.

“Anybody home?” His face curls into a grin: oozing pomp and ego. 

You force a smile, its edges terse and tight. You stand, tapping at the screen that's made its home in the crook of your elbow. “You’ve got a meeting this morning about arrangements for this years’ reaping, I’ve got the minutes for your call with Elland and-”

He gives you a wave as he makes towards his office. “I need you to push it back a couple of hours, I’ve got other… uh… business to attend to. And I needed those minutes yesterday, the situation’s changed: we need to double peacekeeper presence in 8-”

“With what money?” You scoff. He pauses, hand wavering over the handle of an ornate wooden door. It’s heavy, and takes up the span of half the room - gilded and embossed with glossy script. He cranes his head towards you like you’ve asked him to compete in the games, instead.

“With t-the… we can find money. Move things around.” He strides through the doors into a plush office. "It's what I pay you for. And I expect a revised budget by the end of the day."

He closes the door in your face and you scowl at the wood. Your skin crawls with the thought of the minutes you'd have to rewrite, the hours you'd need to spend sifting through the accounts. Move things around? On whose authority? The new budget would have to be approved by Snow, and there'd be questions, not to mention the tight turnaround-

With a deep sigh, you take a breath and unclench your jaw. You take a seat at your desk: Finnick's last message blaring at the band of your comms. 

From: unknown

famous last words, love

~~~

It sets the tone for the rest of the day, you think. You barely get a minute to yourself, putting out fires left and right. There's a stack of paperwork on your desk that grows and grows in your absence; it peers at you like a small mountain whenever you walk past, guilty. 

You send Finnick small messages here and there; the broken bits of a conversation spread between any spare moment. That ends up being a handful of times within a couple of hours; even less as you rush to finish a budget plan you've been expected to pull out of your ass. He makes you laugh. Between the haze of exhaustion and anger you find yourself wandering in and out of; it's a much needed break from your own head. He stops you from clattering about like the tinny ricochet of a pinball. You're convinced; if you shook your head around, it would rattle.

But Finnick is there, grounded and steady, to stop you from floating away. 

You don't expect it, when it comes. Later at night, after you've rubbed your sore feet and propped them up in the comfort of your own home. Swallowed by blankets and the comforter; plush and warm and swaddled like a newborn. Almost dozing off as you hear the dull buzz of your comms. A call. From Finnick. 

You don't hesitate to accept. It's voice only, and he speaks clear and calm between the walls of your bedroom. 

"Hey," 

"Hi." Your own voice is heavy with sleep, but it feels good to hear him. 

"This isn't a bad time, I hope? I know you were busy with work and everything-" 

"God, no. Like I said before, a whole lot of nothing."

"Good." He sighs. "I-I mean not good , per se, I just didn't know if you wanted to talk or-"

You scrunch your brow. He can't see you of course, but the way he's stumbling with his words, it's almost like he's… "Are you nervous, Finnick?" 

"No." A pause. "Maybe… a little. Just a bit."

You giggle. "Why? I don't bite."

"...this isn't weird? Not too much, too soon?" 

"I don't know what it's like where you're from. But around here, if you can believe it, friends call each other. They catch up over the phone. It's allowed." You say. 

"Fuck, okay. Okay," You might be going crazy, but you think you can hear him smile. "Then, as your friend, I don't believe you. For the record."

"What did I say?" You laugh. 

"That you did nothing all day. Don't believe it." 

"Slanderous accusations, Mr Odair. Where's your proof?"

"Well… the first is that you barely responded to me all day-"

"Maybe you were boring me, Finn."

"Highly unlikely." He waves it off. "I was doing all the work, by the way: riveting conversation - provoking, really trying to make you think -" 

"With such stunners as: 'Did you miss me yesterday?' and 'I'm so hungry I could eat a horse' -" 

"-absolutely gripping stuff, like I said. But that's not the point. The point is that you gave me nothing to work with. One word answers: brief, snarky - quite discouraging, honestly. And the only possible explanation is…"

"...is?"

"You were swamped at work." He seems pleased with his conclusion. "Up to your neck in paperwork, probably, putting out fires left and right. And, stop me if I'm wrong, left to clean up Hadrian's mess-"

"-that's all?" 

"Of course not. My second piece of evidence, ladies and gentleman, is: Hadrian's a prick. A self-righteous, pompous fuck who doesn't know up from down. There's no way he's got someone a-as competent and brilliant as you are, and not putting you to work."

You hum into your blankets, feeling your face flood with warmth. 

"And taking you for granted, stealing your ideas, etcetera, etcetera…"

"...but that's more implied." You finish for him. 

"Exactly. The third thing, the really important third thing, is… that you sound… tired." 

Your eyebrows shoot up. "I sound tired?" 

"I've got a hunch." He sounds more sincere. "You okay?" 

His gentleness catches you off guard. You're stumbling over your own words when you finally manage: "Y-Yeah. Just had a long day, s'all."

"You can talk about it, if you need to let off some steam."

"Not… not today. But thank you." You sink deeper into the covers. "What did you get up to, then?" 

"Not… much."

You squint. "Don't believe you."

"Wasn't very eventful, I promise." He clicks his tongue absentmindedly. "I just helped out Mags, not much else. "

"Mags?" It sounds familiar, but you can't quite place the name. 

"She's, w-well, she was my mentor." In the games was silent, implied. "We went over strategies and then I helped move some furniture. Fixing things up, doing what needed doing."

He didn't know where to put his hands all day. Restless, unable to keep still. 

"Like what?" 

"It's boring stuff, you don't want to hear it - trust me."

"Don't be stupid, I'm curious. Didn't take you for a handyman."

"Haha. It wasn't like that, anyway. She had these rips in her curtains, made from a while back. I spent most of my afternoon sewing them back together."

"...you can sew?" 

"Of course I can sew. Needlework, crochet, knitting. It's like tying a knot on a fishing hook; or making nets."

It's like breathing, you're sure of it. As simple as walking up and down stairs for him. Skills that stay with him well into adulthood; that outlines every step even this far from the sea. Rich with community and stories, and you envy him. In your house with stark white walls, you envy him. 

"I'm not really good with my hands - can't sew or anything to save my life."

"I could teach you." 

"....really?"

"Only if you want. But we'd start off slow; maybe some knots first, and then simple weaving patterns," You can hear the gears turn in his head. He's completely serious and the thought makes you dizzy, for some reason. 

"You don't have to, you know." You say, quietly. 

"I want to. It'll be fun, give me something to do instead of sitting around all day."

"Fun? That's one way to phrase a couple of hours with me." You laugh. 

"What does that mean?" His tone makes your voice die in your throat. 

"Just," you chew your lip. "A joke, mostly. I know I'm not the easiest to be around. So you don't have to… pretend or anything."

He doesn't speak for a bit. You check to see if he's still there, your only indication light breathing in the background. 

"I know what it's like to pretend, but this isn't…"

There's rustling, the creak and bustle of something, like he's sitting up. 

"Fuck… I wanted to see you again. I want to spend time with you. I mean it."

Soft, you whisper. "Okay."

Shakily, he repeats it: like a chant, a prayer, a spell. 

"I mean it ."

_

_

_

[tojivu]

PLEASE CALL ME [01]

a/n part 1 out of idk.. anyways this was so heavily inspired by phoebe bridger’s songs.. i’m so obsessed with her (=´∀｀) oh and also by a book i finished a long time ago but haven’t gotten over lol. i tried writing this in 3rd person pov but tbh it’s hard for me to display emotion in my writing if it’s 3rd person cus it’s like giving u instructions on how to feel 😭. I KNOW ITS 2023 OKAY I KNOW WE DONT LIKE 1ST PERSON ANYMORE BUT PLS LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT

warnings/tags barely proofread (i tried), if yall don’t like tis i’ll probably discontinue it LOL, childe x implied f!reader, sfw.

listen to chinese satellite by phoebe bridgers.

“Good morning.” Ajax is speaking to you, voice low. “It's a hot day.”

You were shivering, actually. Mornings were always cold no matter what the temperature was. Nevertheless, you nod and agree with him anyway. “Yup, isn’t it?”

You two were standing outside your house, waiting for the other to initiate the walking, to which you end up doing it. He follows behind, the path too narrow to fit the two of you—this was a familiar sound. Heavy footsteps you could only recognise to be Ajax’s only two metres behind you. You don’t need to turn around to know he’s staring at the back of your head.

Such a nostalgic feeling, you think. You and him have been passing by the same trees and the same brown-cream coloured houses for 5 years now.

“Can you believe that we’re graduating in two months?”

He doesn’t answer.

You repeat the question again and he finally responds. You turn around, curious as to what had gotten him so distracted; his phone is in his hand, he’s looking into it and it’s pointing at you—his bright yellow phone case pales in comparison to the smile he has on his face.

“Not even going to let me pose?”

“You don’t need to do that. Your morning face is enough.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You’re pretty when you wake up.”

It’s 6 in the morning. Ajax was never one to think before he speaks, especially when the sun had just risen 5 minutes prior. You ignore what he says, assuming he just couldn’t tell that isn’t something you say to friends.

“Sure.”

—

It’s 8:27 am. You’ve been sitting through an hour of English, and you swear you thought the subject couldn’t get any more boring than when it was in middle school. You’re spinning your blue MUJI 0.5 tip pen between your middle and index finger, ultimately failing after 5 seconds and letting it drop to the floor. It rolls away, farther than you could bend and reach for—a soft metal clinking sound is heard when you realise it’s hit someone’s chair.

The red and black coloured backpack on the floor next to the chair made it obvious where your pen had gone and who’s chair it hit.

You whisper-yell, “Hey, can you pick that up?”

Ajax turns around and looks at you and then the floor. You’re thankful as he picks up the pen, but then quickly confused as to why he just turns forward again—keeping your pen at his desk.

—

YOU: It feels as though the evening has been stretched, like time is in slow motion and not in a good way; because I’m looking at Ajax sitting across from me and we have not spoken. I have a cup of coffee in my right hand, much too sweet for my own taste; a cat drawn from the latte art I don’t remember requesting. I’m very sure I asked for a bunny. I’m very sure. I think I left my Math textbook in class. The trees look really lively or something like that, I don’t really know, I am making sure to look away from Ajax because I know he’s staring.

“What?”

“What what?” He acts like he wasn’t just staring at me for the past 5 minutes. “Is there a problem?”

“My problem is that you’re being weird today.”

His mouth is agape, too dramatic to be genuine. “That’s rude.”

I don’t know what to reply to him now, knowing that he’ll just continue acting stupid. My shoes squeak against the wooden flooring as I lean back in my chair, it’s evening now and I’m so exhausted. People from the high school three streets away from ours are filling the tiny place up, passing by our table and some stare at Ajax as they do. The oak tables that were empty just a half hour ago are now full of teenagers, this whole place is infested with us; behind, left and right.

It’s not weird for people to stare at Ajax when we’re out together. It’s not like he’s a celebrity or anything, but somehow every girl I know has heard of him or has heard of him from someone who has heard of him. It’s a big chain of people I find impossible to keep track of. If you mentioned his name anywhere, someone would definitely go “you know him too?”.

I’m drinking my tea slowly and quietly. A group of girls are laughing so loud my eardrums could burst. Another group of girls walk in and the familiar bell sound of the café entrance rings, and it’s no surprise they know Ajax too; he smiles at them, I can’t tell if out of politeness, when they walk by. They’re giggling to themselves and I can’t help but feel a bit lost.

“What’s wrong with you today?” He’s asking me as if multiple things aren’t wrong with him. Suddenly, I’m the one with the problems.

I don’t bother anymore, I think about that moment minutes ago over and over again and I have no idea what to make of it. That giggle wasn’t a “what a coincidence” giggle, more like a teasing sort, the kind your friends do when your crush talks to you.

“Nothing is wrong with me.” I’m lying. “I’m gonna go home.”

He is so clueless, so oblivious to everything it is paining me. Oblivious to the amount of girls that are looking his way in this very establishment, at this very moment in time. It makes me almost angry, somewhat, that he doesn’t know.

—

AJAX: It is 7 P.M. and dark out. I think she’s angry but she’s just slouching over, but I get some sort of sensing that she will explode if I try to talk to her.

“Helllooo.” I’m next to her now, and she doesn’t want to reply to me; her eyes are on mine, eyebrows furrowed and clearly sending a message: Don’t even say anything.

I feel myself smiling because she looks very adorable. She is much shorter than I am. When she’s angry, I’m never able to take her seriously. I don’t think I ever have. Oftentimes in her fits of anger I am caught admiring her, smiling because I think she is so dramatic. When we were 15 she once yelled at me for using her charger, and apparently ‘making her phone charge slower’. She is one of the angriest and most short tempered people I know, yet I think she pulls off the frustrated pout and narrowed eyes very well. It doesn’t matter much to me.

“I’m not gonna ask what’s up with you because you got mad when I did.”

She looks forward again and we are still walking. Her house is still a few blocks down. I think she’s getting tired, too. I shouldn’t have dragged her to get milk tea with me. This path is too narrow to fit the two of us.

I walk in front of her and I can hear her tongue clicking out of annoyance. I bend down and stretch my arms, “Get on my back”.

I feel weight shifting onto my upper back, her long hair is tickling my neck but I don’t mind. Her arms are tired, slow in their movements as they wrap around me too, her head on my right shoulder and she does not say a word in all of it.

“Thank you.” she is whispering to me a few minutes later, and I think I am getting tired too. My legs want to give out. They don’t because I don’t let them.

It’s another 10 minutes and I’m at her front door, unlocking it using the key in her wallet; her parents are on the couch and watching TV and I start to wonder what this would look like to them.

“Ajax?” Her mother turns her head around and is surprised to see me, considering I wasn’t calling to say I was coming over. I haven’t done that in months.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s just tired, that’s all.” I tell her and I try my best not to speak too loud in case the girl on my back wakes up. I can feel her breaths on my back, slow and controlled. I bring her upstairs to her room and I lay her on her bed. Her room has changed quite a bit since I had last been in it, her desk is much more organised than it was a few months ago.

I found myself rejecting her invitations to hang out in her room over the summer break.

I think if I were to be alone in a room with her for too long I would end up blurting it out. I would tell her I’ve loved her since we started being friends, and she’d kick me out of her house and never talk to me again. But now she’s sleeping and I think I’m okay, so I pull her blankets over her and whisper; “Goodnight, I love you”.

—

YOU: I have no idea what day it is. I feel sticky. I look around and after a few seconds I sigh out of relief, realising this is my house, and these are my bedsheets. I don’t remember how I got here, though, my uniform is still on and the last thing I can recall is me on Ajax’s back.

I reach for my phone but realise it’s dead. A post-it note is next to my nightstand, ‘You’re welcome for the ride back. Call me when you wake up You owe me’, and on the bottom right corner there is an ugly and disproportionate cat drawn.

He didn’t even have the courtesy to remove my socks for me, but I guess that’s fair because I don’t think I’d go anywhere near his feet either.

I plug my phone into my charger and wait. I don’t know if he wants me to call him, but I think I should, I want to.

28 days later and i’m back with this shitty fic — 130423

[ninicaise]

I love your posts so much! I’m curious, what do u think would be Laurent and Damen’s thoughts on open relationships, do u think it’s something they would try?

interesting question. i've made it into a joke already in this post and also there are these fantastic tags from @/not-a-coral-snake and it's the best thing ever so true so funny so them.

it's quite evident laurent has no interest in being with anyone other than damen. furthermore we don't see damen being interested in anyone ever again after he has a night with laurent + it makes both of them very jealous when they see or think about the other with someone else. so at least in the universe they're in i doubt they'd be genuinely interested in that kind of relationship. know that if they ever tried it they'd be miserable, and in an easy happy peaceful world they wouldn't even think about it.

unfortunately these people do not live in an easy happy peaceful world. it's inevitable that they at least discuss the possibility. however the only way i could see them having an open relationship agreement is through some sort of misunderstanding of each other's needs.

there's the fact that at least akielos is a culture in which people and esp nobles are expected to have multiple lovers/a harem. laurent goes above and beyond and a bit too much when trying to compensate for something he did (trying to die for damen for example) and i think for a certain period of time he would be respectful of akielon culture to the point of being too much. forcing damen's own culture onto damen himself, kind of thing.

it's likely damen has had open relationships in the past (jokaste anyone). he knows how they work, he grew up knowing it to be a natural thing, he knows that as king he is expected to have a variety of lovers. and likely in any other circumstance he would. he just isn't interested unless laurent is involved. damen hates the idea tbh but he will give laurent what he wants bc he thinks well. maybe laurent wants to explore his sexuality a little more with more people who aren't damen after years of repressing it (he doesn't) and if he is insisting so much then he must have a good reason (objectively he doesn't).

plus, and i think this one is the most likely, laurent knows he's not exactly an easy lover. ppl overestimate the amount of both self-respect and self-confidence laurent has wayyy to often. laurent is canonically insecure about anything sex related and a future-oriented control freak, so he'd try to have control over any affair damen might have if at some point laurent stops being enough by ensuring he will be able to claim that he knew all along, that laurent was the one who allowed it, laurent was in control the whole time. kind of like with th i know who you are damianos thing. i've known all along. i know you'll get tired of how complicated i am eventually i know everything i am prepared for every possible outcome you can't catch me chaos of this world etc etc.

it's not that he can tolerate the idea of damen being w other ppl, it's just that he thinks he has to tolerate it bc 1) he doesn't deserve a say 2) the alternative (damen getting tired, feeling trapped and leaving altogether) is way worse 3) he thinks it will happen eventually anyway and this is the only way he can remain dignified. or so he thinks. lol. this mindset is of course unhealthy. so he should work on that.

[i-sveikata]

“I can’t even hug him?” Macau protests as Vegas keeps tugging him further away from Pete. “Shit, you’re possessive. Learn to share.”

“Learn how to stop breathing,” Vegas fires right back.

OHHHHHH MY GODDD😭 he’d jealous of macau??? even macau isn’t safe from possessive vegas ahaha i love it! as readers we love (i can’t emphasise this enough) possessive and jealous vegas but how does pete feel about this? does he like when vegas is being jealous? what would he do if vegas showed more “ownership” towards him? would he find it arousing or is it a turn off and uncomfortable for him? vegas liked being owned but what about pete🤔

Lmao first and foremost Vegas is a loser so jot that down. Lol but seriously he’s literally emotionally underdeveloped and the only times he’s had good things in his life they’ve been snatched away. This is the first real, genuinely good thing to happen to him in a very long while and he’s holding on selfishly and greedily - he doesn’t know how to be generous with Pete and other people. Not even if that other person is Macau.

I do think when they define their relationship and Pete tells Vegas he’s in love with him Vegas might not be as unhinged about it but I don’t think he’s ever going to truly overcome that fear of losing Pete/feeling overly possessive/protective of the connection they have.

Lol it’s very entertaining for me as well so I’m glad the readers are enjoying it too!! Tbh Pete’s kind of internally rolling his eyes when it happens most of the time but he’s not especially alarmed about it (yet). If it starts to get worse or more destructive to the point that Pete is actually concerned then he’s going to broach the topic with Vegas and try to get to the root of his anxiety. Pete generally doesn’t have a problem articulating when he’s uncomfortable about things to vegas- and even when he’s shy and unable to come right out and say certain things (usually sexual stuff) Vegas can usually figure out what he’s trying to dance around- or he’ll keep probing until he can figure out what he means. Vegas is pretty obsessed with trying to figure out what Pete is thinking and feeling at all times so I think he’d be able to put it together pretty quickly if pete was uncomfortable. Pete would just tell him to knock it off and he would (or at least he’d be less obvious about it in Pete’s presence- let’s be real he’s a sneak)

But tbh Pete does like it!! He likes how certain Vegas is about him even if it scares him a bit. I think Pete does get a little excited when Vegas is more violent and unruly with other people because Pete gets the chance to overpower him or exert his own control of the situation to prevent literal bloodshed haha and a lot of that ties in with Vegas never having had healthy relationships so he doesn’t know how to manage his feelings about potentially sharing Pete’s time with other people. He’s not a fully developed person because he’s never been treated like one!!!! Vegas is riddled with dysfunction!!! Pete is like 100% of his impulse control!!!

But yeah tie all that in with a potential sexual rival/ someone else being actually interested in Pete? His possessive behaviour takes on a whole different kind of batshit intensity- which Pete also discovers he’s into (the future scene in the bathroom with that stranger would not work otherwise because Vegas literally has a knife to the guy’s throat and Pete is into that threat of violence) so yeah Pete switches between fondly annoyed by Vegas’ behaviour/ constantly intervening on his behalf and also a little turned on and curious to see what Vegas would do if he did decide to let him loose one day. Don’t forget Pete’s a little freak too!! He’s just better at hiding it lmao

[superconductivebean]

#934: natty > seb ; not a slander

Your post, @crowtitx, reminded me of a post I did… quite a long time ago tbh, it was on Aug 17!! D: Damn time flies fast.

Anyway, I was comparing Natty and Sebastian in that quest and here is what I was able to pin down:

Natty is friendly and has no other intent than to genuinely help MC to acclimatise and become their friend because Natty remembers what it felt like to start a new school in not just another part of the world, but a completely new one;

Sebastian, at the other hand, doesn't hide his curiosity. I'd say, it doesn't feel comfortable; he always nudges in a question or a some kind of remark that goes unexplained because he always has something else to add, to say, to comment on, to make it all about his deep interest in MC's ability to duel.

From the standpoint of the game's narrative and getting into the plot, Sebastian's companionship might look like a good deal for getting into the thick of it. His questions, despite being super… what's the other for 'intrusive', meddlesome? and me-me-my-about-me, keeps the grinds going; he breathes in the sense of people knowing MC is an odd one out and that they have secrets to themselves.

From the same standpoint, Natty has more of a laid-back approach and tackles things as they come. She doesn't push MC to answer any questions, nor she asks any of the same curious nature. She's just here and offers nothing more than a walk to a completely new area to a person who just characterised the castle as 'positively enormous'; there are already a ton to take notice of and think about, having Natty by the side might feel tad boring but it's relaxing, imbuing in a sense of time not moving as rapidly as it was on a previous in-game day.

The option for a someone like me, lmao, I was literally stuck at DADA Tower's Hermitage for a good hour my first time playing the game (subsequently, Natty was my choice then).

Walking down the road with Natty has one of my favourite conversations in the game!

Natty asks:

How are you settling in? I remember the weeks that followed my arrival feeling quite strange. Everything was so new and unfamiliar.

and MC answers with:

I’m getting used to things. What about you? Do you finally feel settled?

MC, few mere hours into this new world, doesn't care to elaborate on their struggles, instead they're eager to know more about Natty! Slice of life I'm on this planet for ftw ngl tbh.

It doesn't happen with Sebastian en route bar the question about Anne -- which is prompted by the natural course of the conversation, it's not MC's own deep interest, I sensed. How do I word it properly: there is a difference between being genuine and polite. Otherwise they wouldn't ask Natty back quite energetically, if you recall the tone of their voice; it's different with Sebastian, MC sounds rather timid and might I add, the whole conversation with Sebastian is gloomy.

But it sets the tone for the further Sebastian quests quite well, and here's the catch for the narrative bit I mentioned earlier:

he doesn't get nor MC, neither the player into the thick of it, lest we assume the game must be about him for this point to have sense plot-wise.

Getting back to Natty, her approach certainly was a preparation for the introduction for the companion system. I'm convinced we were ought to have her as our very first companion to travel with and to do side-quests with thus spending time with her and learning all about the castle, the valley, the society, everything MC could have interest in. That would've also solved the pacing issues I mentioned; Sebastian doesn't suffer from them half as much simply because he has a plethora of quests where you just… talk or meet somewhere to also have a chat, and then to have a chat here, then there, etcetcetc.

In conclusion, I prefer Natty over Sebastian.

Also, I want to mention, as a bonus, what Professor Sharp has to say about each of them:

And Professor Weasley:

[naneun-no]

Hi! So... Am I the only one who thinks Jikook haven't been living under the same roof for quite a while now? I feel like some people, esp Jikookers, don't even want to see it as a possibility, but if we don't want to start acting like a cult we need to start developing some critical thinking (which I think is healthy and needs to be done) Also, I've seen a lot of people say "JK is having a hard time, imagine not spending every second with your partner like you used to bc of his crazy schedule" and tbh, I was thinking just like that at first, but now? Jimin is busy, yes of course, but he clearly has time to hang out with Hobi or even going to visit Jin (which was so nice to see btw, not complaining) I honestly don't think JK and Jimin are hanging out much, actually, I dont even think they see each other often, since JK seems to be living his best introverted life and quite isolated from the rest of the boys (except Tae, which Im kind of glad, at least he is getting out of the house and having a good time) Maybe we should start considering the possibility of them just not sharing time bc they simply chose to and not bc Jimin is busy with his album. I now what they chose to share with us is just a small part of their lives, and there could be a million other possible scenarios, Im not saying Im right or wrong, just what's been on my mind lately. Im not coming here as an insecure Jikooker to seek for aproval, or with bad intentions, Im just sharing my thoughts and genuinely curious to know if anyone else thinks on a similar way. Thank you for taking the time to read💜

Hey! I appreciate the kind way you phrased all of this. In short, if you’ve ever read anything I’ve posted you know what I’m gonna say next: maybe that’s true and feel free to think that 🤷‍♀️

I still don’t get why the idea that they’ve chosen not to spend any time together (which we have no evidence of except for a lack of evidence the other way) is more compelling than the idea that they do in fact spend plenty of time together and just don’t share it (which we also have no evidence of except for the way they treat each other when we do see them). Both have a dearth of evidence, except one seems out of character.

Does that make sense? Like it’s perfectly possible they don’t hang. But also, they were like magnets on all the final Run BTS episodes. Not just magnets but affectionate, touchy, best-friend-or-more type magnets. But also, Jung Kook asked Jimin to come over during a recent live, while being all giggly and cheesy and excited to see him. It didn’t seem like a “it’s been so long, I’m saying this just out of an awkward sense of duty,” to me — it seemed like something that probably happens often. Jimin said something to the effect of “I’ll come after work” or something close, right? (He said many other things too but that was the only one that correlated directly to hanging out other than the one where he expressed desire to tie back JK’s hair which could be innocuous or could be something he does when they hang out, who knows?). But also, JK told his boxing instructor that JM would come soon, but also JM talked to that same instructor like he knew him well, and likely has gone with JK to lessons in the past. But also, it really hasn’t been that long since JK’s weirdly sexual/teasing birthday video for Jimin and now several members have had birthdays pass and nobody else got that treatment. But also… the list goes on, I’m sure there’s more but my coffee’s getting cold.

So, I can’t speak for all Jikookers because we are in fact not a cult, so there aren’t established patterns of belief that we all must adhere to. You think maybe they’ve stopped hanging out cause they haven’t shared it with you. Cool. Many others, myself included, think it’s unlikely that you would abruptly stop hanging out with someone who clearly means so much to you while still continuing to treat said person in a loving, flirty, domestic manner. They don’t act like exes, not even a little bit, so we have no reason to think they are. I think it seems much more in character for them to be preserving the final shreds of privacy they have to protect the relationship that means more to them than the other ones; or at least means something different.

Idk, but if you actually believed them to be dating at any point, or even just as close of friends as they appear, regardless of dating, think of how that would look if they suddenly stopped speaking.

Remember when Tae and JK did kinda stop hanging out? Remember how it was kind of obvious through their interactions that they weren’t as close, and then they full on addressed it in that conversation and talked about how they needed to put more effort into their friendship (which kudos to them, like you said, seems like they are). If anything, Jimin and JK’s relationship over the years has seemed even more close and symbiotic than almost any other friendship in the group except maybe vmin. So I would think if that was crumbling away, we’d see a lot more in their interactions than giggly, sweet, heart eyes and “eat well my baby” comments.

Feel free to disagree!

[asphira]

Ok, since I haven’t really seen anyone talk about this yet, I’m gonna point it out.

In episode 7 of Hazbin Hotel, when Charlie’s singing ‘Ready for this’ Alastor seems genuinely happy and like he believes in Charlie. Like, he and Rosie even do a little dance and say that Charlie’s side is the winning side. And look at his face, he seems excited and ready to face the angels! He looks like he believes in Charlie and is excited for Charlie!

And then after he gets defeated by Adam, that excitement and fondness for Charlie is gone. He was reminded just how cruel people are, how not everyone is as forgiving, naive, and nice as Charlie is. He just essentially got a slap in the face. For the past six months, he’s been around people who care for him, if not love him, and then he gets slapped in the face by Adam and the rest of Heaven’s cruelty.

And sure, he’s also dealing with the fact that he almost died. But I think he’s also reeling from the realization that he might care for Charlie and the others as well as the fact that he got complacent. He allowed himself to get attached, to let his guard down, to have faith in someone else, and he paid for it. He paid for it with his radio staff and almost his life.

And tbh, I feel bad for him. He looked so genuinely excited and hopeful that Charlie would win and then he gets slapped in the face. Now that he’s been reminded of ‘reality’ he’s not going to let himself get attached or place his trust in Charlie again. He’s learned his lesson and retreated back into himself. I’m also super curious to see how he behaves next season, if he acts colder to Charlie and the gang, if his wound actually healed or not, what he’s planning.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rantI’d love to know ya’lls opinions on this :D