#tbh i welcome it with open arms im glad it can be used more than just eye candy

[daenysx]

could i request modern aemond finding out about his wife pregnancy, tbh im not sure if she would prepare a romantic dinner to tell him or if she would tell him since the moment she has the signals

thank you for requesting ♡

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader

cw; pregnancy, pregnancy tests

"i'm sorry- i have to-"

you covered your mouth and left aemond alone at dinner table. this happened ten minutes ago. he's waiting for you by the bathroom door but you don't say anything other than you're fine. he leans against the wall, worry creeping through his body.

you look exhausted when you open the door. your lipstick is gone, your cheeks slightly wet with the way you washed your face clumsily. you look at aemond through blurry eyes, he's quick to hold you.

"are you okay?" he asks, cupping your cheeks. "shall we go see a doctor?"

you shake your head. "it's just my stomach. i think i ate something bad."

he gives you a fond kiss on your hair. "i'm sorry for ruining our dinner." you murmur.

"that's ridiculous, sweetheart." he says. "you've got nothing to be sorry for."

"can we go to bed?" you ask. he nods, accompanies you to the room. he helps you take off your clothes, making you wear one of his old university shirts. you are glad to be buried on the pillows as your mind suddenly gets a crazy idea.

the next morning, you decide to try taking your chance. your hands are shaking with excitement and stress, but you think you can feel it. you've counted days from your last period, you've been feeling nauseous for the past week, you feel more tired than ever lately. the most important clue is the date of your period.

you decide not to tell aemond anything until you see the result yourself. since you married, there was always this baby talk you had, and you know aemond will be happy if you are actually pregnant. it's just- you don't know how to feel about it. it's silly, thinking all of these without having the test results first but you can't help yourself.

when you get home, you have 5 pregnancy tests in the bathroom. you'll use all of them, spending your afternoon physically and mentally on this. they don't take long to show you the result, what takes long is preparing yourself to do the tests. you rub your stomach to ease off your worries, wishing for aemond to be here suddenly.

you call him before taking the first test. hearing his voice always helps. "sweetheart?" he picks up the phone.

"is this a bad time?" you ask, biting your lip.

"no, of course not. are you okay?"

"yes, i'm fine." you say. "just wanted to hear your voice. are you too busy?"

you hear sounds of paper shuffling. "actually i'm almost done. i'll probably be home early."

"that would be so nice."

"do you want me to get you something?" he asks. "you sound sad, you're worrying me."

"no, no, just get home quick." you say, anxiously playing with your hair. "i'm fine, i promise."

you take a deep breath after hanging up. you gotta be brave if you want to do this. it's just a test, no matter what the result is everything will be fine.

half an hour passes and you use all the tests. you try not to look at them but you can't help yourself. you put your hands on your eyes, thumbs rubbing your skin to stop being so nervous.

the sound of door opening catches your attention and you leave the bathroom to go check. aemond steps in, holding his laptop bag and suit jacket. his brows are furrowed, eye searching for you as he puts his keys aside.

"welcome back." you say, hugging him. it is all you needed. he rubs his hand on your back, squeezing your body with his arms. you go lax against his chest, he kisses his way on the side of your head.

"are you okay? you got me so worried."

"i need to show you something." you say, holding his hand. "in the bathroom."

he's curious, lets you lead him on the way. there they are, 5 pregnancy tests laid out. they should be showing the results now but you turn your head. "i just wanted to be sure." you say. "i can't look at them, now. i don't know what i want to see."

aemond's heart takes a leap but he keeps his face calm. "i can look at them. can i?"

"yes, please."

he's still holding your hand when he eyes the tests carefully. "they are all the same. two lines, that means you're pregnant- right?"

you tear up, can't help yourself. aemond wraps his arms around you immediately, he doesn't know how to get over the shock. he's gonna be a father? you'll have a baby, you chose to marry him and now you will have a baby with him. his chest feels too tight, your tears rolling down softly on your cheeks. you are smiling. you are happy.

"that's wonderful." he manages to say. "i don't- i don't even know what to say." aemond targaryen doesn't know what to say. tell the papers.

you lift your face to look at him. "are you happy? you don't think it's too early, right?"

he shakes his head quickly. "no, no, of course not. it's not early."

"we'll have a baby." you whisper. the reality slowly kicks in.

"we will." he says. "i can't believe it. i never thought i could have this."

you give him a kiss, he's finally smiling. his hand goes to your belly, nothing's showing but still it's a comfort. he will be a father. he has to keep telling himself that to actually believe it.

"we should go see a doctor first thing in the morning." he says. there he is, finally going back to his normal self. you nod, still holding onto him. you stay in the bathroom for minutes, trying to convince yourselves you'll be parents.

[quurenie]

Are we allowed to use your art with credit? :3

Of course! Unless it’s for commercial use.

Personal use i’m ok with it

[lovieebby]

Man down

Daddy!Syverson x little!reader

Summary: Sy unknowingly sticks your best friend in the washer with the bedsheets and when you’ve come to realize the missing person, it's too late. It's doomsday.

WC: 1.5k

Warnings: a small spank but really just cute fluff!

Note: im being a little selfish and putting my manatee in this, and tbh I’ve had this guy for ab 5 years and he still doesn’t have a name 😩😂 so we’re just putting he/him. Also gif is from Pinterest so all credit goes to the person that made it!!!

Tags: @hell1129-blog @snowbellexx @summersong69 @kaizet @omgkatinka @hinata7346 @thethirstyarchive @mary-ann84 @agniavateira @shaybabbby @oddsnendsfanfics @cavillshmavill @vivodinson @radaofrivia @iloveyouyen @jessevans @pinksdaydream @ollyoxenfrees @woofgocows @captaingothgirl1996 @honeychicana @viking-raider @seb-owns-these-tatas @laufeysodinson @msblkfire84

If you want to be added/removed lemme know! Feedback is always welcomed, love you lots and be nice to yourself my bbies ;))

You rushed up the stairs in a race to see who got into bed first. Sy seemed like a million miles away as you squealed when you face planted into the fresh bed sheets. It smelled like the clean lavender, and a mix of other florals and musks Sy used for soap, it was honestly your favorite smell besides the man himself.

“I won and you lose!” You sang out after you rolled to your back.

Sy exaggerated a panting breath as he leaned on the doorframe to your shared bedroom. He had his arm tucked around his gut making you giggle as he took a deep breath.

“You’re just too fast bug.” He exhaled, “Way too fast for this old man.”

“Why thank you! I practice very hard.” You giggled, tilting your head to the side to watch Sy rolling his eyes with a chuckle.

You snickered a small laugh and groaned while you sat up. Sy met you on the bed with his own groaning, roughly sitting on his side of the bed making you bouce at his weight.

“Now, its time for bed. Get your pj’s on and go brush your teeth.” He said, leaning to you and giving you a soft kiss on your forehead.

You nodded in agreement, standing up and doing what he politely commanded. You picked a oversized shirt from your dresser, a pair of sleep shorts and quickly changed to meet Sy in the bathroom. You both brushed your teeth in silence, softly shoving eachother teaseingly, Sy poking your sides to make you giggle and you knocking his knees to see if he’d fall or maybe do it back.

When you made it back into the bedroom Sy had you lay down and helped you put your soothing lotion on before tucking the both of you under the covers. He had turned off the lights and pulled you close to his chest and whispered his i love you’s.

Before you completely settled down, you searched around for the grey creature you snuggled with every night. He wasn’t between yours and Sy’s pillows, nor between the bed and wall. You pulled Sy’s heavy arm off of you and sat up to look at the end of the bed, soon crawling to the edge to lean down to look under the bed.

“Baby girl, what are you doin’?” Sy groveled out, his eyes still closed but listening to you roll and pat around.

“Daddy I lost him.” You mumbled out as you moved around the totes under the bed, just in case your manatee made his way down there.

“Oh.” Sy deadpanned.

You frowned your brows and slowly sat up, looking at your daddy with your eyes slanted. “Oh?”

“Yeah I think he’s in the wash.” Sy nervously chuckled, shrugging as he scratched his beard.

He braced himself on his elbow as he leaned into it to see you more clearly. Sy tried not to laugh at your try hard mean face contort into shock.

“You what?! Daddy!” You scrambled off the bed quickly then dashing out of the bedroom.

“Man down! Man down!” You screamed as you bounced down the stairs and ran into the laundry room.

Sy came into the laundry room soon after you with his heart squeezing in his chest as you sat in front of the washer, watching your poor manatee’s face popping up every now and then through the glass of the washer.

You sniffled quietly, “Manatee down Daddy.”

Sy chuckled at your joke.

“Baby it’s gonna be okay. He’s a sea cow, that means he knows how to swim! He’ll be out in the morning.” Sy tried his hardest to reassure you, but it just made you sniffle and cry louder.

“Yeah but not in soapy water! And I didn’t get to say bye!” You pouted, rubbing your cheeks and nose with the sleeve of your shirt.

“Oh baby,” Sy sighed, crouching down to you, “I promise he’ll be okay. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you he was going in the wash.” He apologized sincerely, Sy really hated seeing you so upset.

Even though he saw this as a really small ordeal, he knew that this meant more to you than him, and he also knew you were probably more upset because you’re tired. Sy was very glad you didn’t freak out too much and opened the washer door while it was still running; that would have been a handful.

“C’mon sweet angel.” He said, standing up straight with your hand in his.

You cried weakly as you hesitated standing up. The thought of your manatee being all alone made you cry harder, you fruitlessly pulled away from Sy. You refused to leave your best friends side through such a tramatic time.

Sy tried to understand your frustration, but he also had never had a bond with something so small— honestly he didn’t like the stuffed animal, the thing was old and lost its cuteness the moment it got more snuggles than him. Before he snapped at you, he sighed softly with a long exhale. You tucked your chin between your knee caps, arms wrapped around your shins and watched the lit numbers above the door handle, seeing that there was still a long way to go.

“Pooh bear, lady bug, my sweet little baby,” Sy listed off all your pet names, hoping to intice you to come with him. “Honey it’s already passed our bedtime— a nap tomorrow won’t even fix the lack of sleep.”

Your only response to him was a growl, a small chest grumbling growl. Sy shifted back, and blinked as he crossed his arms over his broad chest.

“Now I would really hate to believe you just did that. Do my ears fail me?”

Your eyes widened in surprise of him hearing it. You dared to repeat your actions, you thought to just keep yourself quiet as you shrunk in your spot. Sy nodged his knee against your shoulder, pushing hard enough to rock you.

“I’m waiting little bear.” He spoke lowly with a small joke but the tone still left a lingering shiver of fear.

“Sorry Daddy.” You whispered softly, biting your lip as you pushed yourself up to walk to him.

You came to him and raised your arms to wrap around him for an apology hug, but he stuck out two fingers and pressed it to your chest to stop you. He shook his head with a frown as you pouted.

“You growled at me bug! I ain’t letting the dogs growl at me, what makes you think you can?”

“I said I’m sorry.” You whined, still pouting your lip out.

“I accept that, but you still need to learn little miss.” Sy said, turning his two fingers around; a silent signal.

You pressed down the urge to roll your eyes and groan in difiance. Instead, you let out a whine and listened. You turned around in the door way, facing the white painted frame and clenched your cheeks.

“You clench, it’ll hurt more.” He warned, his eyes watching the bottom of your cheeks relax.

A quick three swats left your bottom stinging. Sy’s big hands could crush anything from their sheer size, and with these spanks, you could tell he didn’t hold back. Your breath shook as you heard Sy grumble proudly, his hand softly rubbing your cheeks. You frowned upon grazing your eyes over the washer one last time before Sy nudged you to the hallway and up the stairs.

Your lip wobbled when the bedroom door closed with a soft click. And as Sy flipped the sheets over to pull himself in, he snickered at your pitiful face.

“Tuck that lil’ lip in baby. No need for that.” Sy spoke softly, watching you from his peripheral as he tucked his pillow under his neck.

You huffed once before you made your way to the bed, the soft, clean sheets inviting you into sleep. Sy’s heavy hand rubbed gentle circles as you laid flat on your tummy, a silent and bratty way to tell him you don’t want to cuddle. Though you knew Sy didn’t care for your small sour attitude; he still rubbed your back and kissed your exposed shoulder with ease and care. With your face deep into your pillow, arms shoved under and Sy’s body heat warming yours, sleep was easy to fall into.

And as Sy heard your soft breathing and felt your body relax, he stayed up until the soft ring of the washer went off and when it did, he slipped his pillow under your chest and belly and traveled down the steps carefully. Before you fully awoke, he quickly swapped loads and made his way back to you.

He would never understand the attachment between you and a replaceable thing, but he would do everything in his power to see your happy face over and over when you woke up with the small manatee under your arm, still warm and the fluff rejuvenated.

[akatsvmu]

armin comforting you

genre: fluff

warnings: none !! kinda cringey and im not good with using commas or grammar

a/n: hi this is my first written work ever wtf i still cant believe i wrote this. its incredibly self-indulgent bc i was having a bad day and wanted a hug lmaoooo. i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it. let me know if you liked it <33

- you make your way home after a particularly draining day to find Armin already waiting for you.

- he welcomes you as you enter and begins to ask about your day when he catches how your shoulders hang low and your eyes seem more tired than usual.

- instead, he helps you settle in then pulls you onto the couch, opening his arms and allowing you to crawl into his lap.

- he wraps his arms around you, playing with your hair while rubbing soothing circles on your thigh, keeping your bodies pressed close together.

- he asks if you want to talk about it, knowing your answer before you can even reply with a shake of your head.

- you stay like that for a while until Armin stands up and takes you to the bathroom with him.

- he starts the water knowing you’ll feel slightly better once you're cleaned and refreshed.

- you both stand under the shower as the warmth seems to wash away the stress and weight off your shoulders.

- he massages the shampoo into your hair with slow circles, relieving the slight pressure that had begun to build behind your eyes.

- you both towel off and slip into fresh pajamas as he brings you to the bed pulling the comforter over your bodies.

- he hugs you from behind and asks again if you’d like to talk about it and now that the dirt from the day has been physically washed off, you begin telling him about how everything felt extra draining today.

- he gives you small kisses to your temple as you rant, letting you know that he’s listening without judgment.

- once you’re done, he wipes the few tears that had spilled from your eyes and trails light kisses from your cheek to your lips, ending with you sharing a soft kiss.

- you thank him for listening and taking care of you and he replies with a slight chuckle and a nod of his head as he burrows his head into the crook of your neck, wanting nothing else but to comfort you while you feel down.

- he holds you tightly against him that night, lulling you to sleep as he gives you one last peck to your temple with a hushed “goodnight”.

note: HI IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR ILYYYY. i didnt expect this to be so long tbh but im glad you read it!! idk if ill be writing any more but this was actually so fun so idkkkk

edit: I just got my first like as a writer 😎 is this what fame feels like

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[ghoulangerlee]

the first taste of love (oh bittersweet) ; malex

i posted this on ao3, but i am nothing if not predictable so i’m posting a tumblr version too! 

basically uhh i wrote a roswell new mexico fic, oh no. im very nervous and very anxious bc there’s so many good writers in the fandom and i am. me. but like, i saw that post, with the still from the episode tonight and my brain went okay sure here’s this. 

its definitely AU because yknow. obviously what i think could happen isn’t whats gonna happen but sdlkfj. ANYWAY. title comes from strawberry wine by deana carter bc tbh michael guerin definitely listens to country music’s greatest women artists 

also yes i know the whole alien thing isnt like anyone but said aliens thing to tell maria but yknow. guilt. being in on something someone else isnt in on. blah blah

=========

He doesn't know how long they’ve been sitting there, just talking, but Alex isn't going to complain, not when it's the first time in ten years that they've been able to have this.

And it's comfortable and nice and Michael's leg is warm where it's pressed against his, his posture open and welcoming and Alex can't help but lean into it, watching, as if hanging onto every word—and he is, hanging onto everything Michael's saying, unsure of when they'll get this chance again, with everything going on.

He's so caught up in everything, in how right all of this feels that he doesn't realize Michael's stopped talking, that he's staring at him with this horribly vulnerable look on his face, something morphing into determination and then, then —

Michael's lips are soft against his, soft and dry and chapped at the corners where Michael constantly darts his tongue out against the skin when he's nervous or annoyed and Alex’s breath catches, his eyes open wide and Michael just pushes forward, firmer, hand coming up to cup the side of Alex’s jaw.

He inhales, sharp through his nose and then, then he relaxes, his hand gripping the center of Michael's button up shirt, holding on tight as the kiss deepens, as Michael presses into his side, other hand warm against his thigh, warm through his jeans.

A noise leaves Alex’s throat, something soft and pained and desperate all wrapped together as he kisses back, gives as good as he can, feeling something warm and heavy in his chest at the needy sound Michael makes.

At once, it all comes rushing back and Alex pulls away, jerks out of Michael’s reach, panting and flushed and wishing for once he could be selfish.

“Guerin, we can't do this,” he says, wishing his voice didn't waver as obvious as it did, wishing to be anywhere but here right now. “ I can't do this to Maria. She doesn't deserve this.”

Michael's face does something weird then, a look crosses it—half pained, half ashamed, and he pulls his cowboy hat off, runs his fingers through his hair, Alex’s eyes tracking where his fingers get caught up in the curls. “Yeah well, no worries. She's not really in the picture right now.”

Alex frowns, feels something protective bubble up in his chest, “Just because she's not here—”

“ No , Alex,” Michael says, cutting him off. “She and I didn't last. Y’know. We're on an indefinite break.”

“So what happened to Maria being something easy ,” Alex can't help but ask, the words twisted with grief and pain, “If you two can't last, is there even any hope—” for us , he doesn't finish, but Michael goes rigid beside him and once again Alex is hit with the stupid realization that he's reactive , that he doesn't think before he speaks.

Michael stands up, putting distance between the two of them, hat held tightly in his left hand as he paces in front of Alex. “Look, I fucked up, okay? I fucked up big time, I just. Didn't tell her about the big green alien thing and then she found Rosa and well, now she knows.” His voice is quick, not quite panicky but not all calm either, “She’s pissed at me, at Liz, probably at you too for keeping her in the dark the whole time. And well, lying is sort of a relationship deal breaker in the grand scheme of things.”

Part of him hurts for Michael, for Maria, bit the quiet vindictive part of him just whispers if I can't be happy neither can he , but he pushes that away, quietly berates himself for even thinking that and inhales deeply. “Give it time,” he says instead. “Maria might come around. I. We still haven't quite talked since everything but I can put in a good word for you. Bring up dear old dad’s plot to destroy all aliens, you included, help you save face.”

And even as he offers to help Michael fix his and Maria’s relationship, he feels tired all of a sudden, feels like he should be selfish in this situation but, but—

“No, no,” Michael says, shaking his head hard enough to make his curls bounce. “She's made it very clear she can't trust me or Liz right now. That we're on her shitlist and it's looking like we might not get off of it anytime soon.” He breathes in deep, steels himself, “And I’m coming to realize that kissing you was a mistake,” he continues, “Just. You don't deserve that from me, I’d be doing the same chicken shitted shit I said you were doing to me.”

Alex watches as he deflates a little, his shoulders go limp, and he stands too, taking a step closer, “Look, Guerin,” he pauses, “ Michael ,” he corrects, “I get it, okay? You just started something with Maria, now you're not together and it hurts , and the physical thing between us? It's always been easy. Something to fall back on when words or whatever hasn't been enough.” He rubs his hands on his jeans before crossing his arms against his chest, posture going stiff, “I said some things I shouldn't have and this is not like me stringing you on all those years.” He swallows, “You're hurting, and I get that. Sometimes, it's easier to mask the hurt with something physical than try to parse through it mentally”

Michael looks up at him, raw and open, incredulous, “You really are a self-sacrificing piece of shit, aren't you?” He asks, something akin to wonder in his voice.

The deprecating laugh escapes before he can stop it, “Who told you that?”

Michael snorts, rubbing his right hand across his face in annoyance, “Liz briefly mentioned it when she said you'd reenlisted, said you didn't know when to quit. That you'd rather see those around you thrive even if it meant you had to suffer.” He presses his lips together, “That's why you just left after that night, wasn't it? In the shed. If you didn't leave, what, your dad would have come after me again? Hassling a teenage boy for sleeping with his son?”

Alex swallows, feels dread creeping up along with the urge to leave, but he tilts his chin up, stares across at Michael, “I did it to keep you safe.” He says, voice more steady that he expected. “And as much as it hurt, I'd do it again, if it meant he'd never lay another hand on you.”

A sour, pinched look flits across his face, “And what, you'd rather be in his shadow than have your own happiness?”

Alex squeezes his arms tighter against his chest, “I don't like seeing the people I care about hurt,” he says, and he suddenly feels vulnerable again, like a teenager, “I knew if I'd enlisted he’d leave you alone. If I distanced myself from you, he wouldn't have a reason to go after you. And after Caufield, I’m glad I did, all those years ago.” He breathes in shakily, “And yeah, I know, it's selfish, I should have asked you. I should have talked to you before making those sorts of decisions for you because it hurts , it's what makes our relationship hard and painful for you. I know .”

He goes quiet for a few moments, then, “After the way he ran my mother off, after doing that, I couldn't let him destroy you too, Michael. That's absolutely no excuse for anything I did, because I did fuck up, I fucked you up, I fucked us up, everything. But god ,I’d rather have fucked any chance of us up than lose you permanently.”

Alex rubs his arm across his face, feeling his eyes well with tears, “So yeah, I’m a self-sacrificing piece of shit but if it keeps people alive then I’ll continue to do it.”

Michael stands there, across from him and Alex feels a pull of something, sees the way Michael straightens his shoulders, makes himself look taller, and then he's closing the space between them, arms wrapping around Alex’s shoulders.

“You are a goddamn piece of work, Manes,” Michael says, voice half muffled by his shirt. “When I said loving you was hard, I didn't mean for you to fucking lie to your dad about cutting me out of your life. I didn't mean that we couldn't still be friends , that you had to sell yourself back to the air force.” he says the words so fiercely that Alex believes them.

“I want you and Maria to be happy, I want you to be happy, and that makes me selfish. There's part of me that wants to convince you to be with me, but the other part of me wants you and Maria to have a chance because. If she makes you happy? Then I want that for you.” Alex says, voice shaky as his hands rest on Michael's sides, gripping his shirt. “As much as I want to just kiss you and forget about all of this, I know we can't. We can't do that. If you want to be with Maria. If you want a chance at happiness.”

Michael squeezes him tighter, and then he's pressing their foreheads together, “But what do you want?”

Alex blinks at Michael, eyes wet and red rimmed, “I want you to be safe. That's why I enlisted again, so I can take down whatever this is my dad's planning. I can't do it from the outside. I have to be inside.”

Michael makes an unhappy noise, “Stop. Think about yourself for once. You said you wanted to convince me to be with you? So do it, Manes. Show me you're even worth my time. Show me that what we had in highschool wasn't just a fling for you.” He challenges, “I know you want what's best for me, but maybe. Hell maybe I don't know what's best for me yet. Maybe I still want you. Maybe I still want an us .”

“I don't want to force you,” Alex says, fierce, “I recognize I fucked up and I know you were with Maria because you like her and it doesn't hurt to be with her. I'm not going to ruin what little chance you have left.”

“We both fucked up, Alex,” Michael says, “We both did, and it's unfair that I blamed it all on you. We were teenagers who didn't know shit about each other except that we had feelings.” He looks into Alex's eyes, “I’d like to think that we're adults now and we can handle this more. Maturely. We can sit down, figure out shit out. And hell, maybe in the future we'll be at a place where we can be us again.” He slowly withdraws from the hug, dragging his thumb gently down Alex’s cheek, aching inside at the way Alex closes his eyes and leans into it. “Right now, we need to focus. We need to talk about all this. We need to shut your dad’s operation down. Somehow help Max and Rosa and Maria.”

When he pulls his thumb away from Alex's face, Alex opens his eyes slowly, staring at him with a sad sort of look on his face, “And if you and Maria somehow fix the mess between you, I don't want you to give up on that for me. Okay?”

Michael sighs noisily out of his nose, “I really need you to stop thinking about me and other people and please act selfish this once .” He says, “This isn't about Maria and me, this is about you and me, and the two of us reconciling , because I had a fucking good time today before I forgot to tamp down the unbridled lust I feel for you, and I want more of that. If we can be friends first, I’d just. I'd really like that.”

Alex inhales softly, nods somewhat tentatively, fighting back the urge to argue with Michael, stamps down on the voice telling him that they can never be friends because Alex feels too big for him. “Okay. Okay. You're right Guerin. I need this. We need this.”

“Just two guys talking about the past trauma they've inflicted on each other and the imminent doom of one's dad on an entire alien race,” Michael says, “Seems simple enough.”

And then, Alex pulls himself together, takes a few relaxing breaths, “We've also got to somehow bring Max back to life,” he adds dryly.

“Nope. No way, that's all on Liz. I'm an engineer not a biologist.” Michael says, finally placing his hat on his head again. “I’ll help where I can but she's taking point on that.”

Alex snorts quietly, and the tension eases out of the air, as he sits back down on the log, Michael joining him again, leaning back to stare up at the sky, their thighs pressed together.

“We're gonna figure this out, Alex,” Michael says into the evening sky, and though Alex is unsure of what exactly this is, he believes him.

[the-small-one-to-rule-them-all]

Wingless

summary: Virgil has gone his whole life without wings and has been just fine, thank you very much. In a world filled with winged people he sticks out like a sore thumb, and he is fine being the only one. But then again maybe he isn’t as alone as he thought. 

pairing)s): Platonic moxiety, platonic Royality, platonic anaroyality) background romantic? logicality (mentions of plans to go on a date)

warnings: a vague mention of amputation, mentions of difficulties with accessibility, I think that’s it actually, this is pretty fluffy, but please let me know if I missed anything!

a/n: so this has been sitting around on my computer for a while. I tried to expand it but it wasnt working and im tired of editing it over and over tbh. It’s pretty sweet and fluffy. I hope you enjoy!   (also obviously the idea of the sides having wings isn’t mine or even remotely original lol, but this is my own universe and my own spin on the idea)

Virgil has gone his whole life without wings and has been just fine, thank you very much. Maybe he is a little defensive and has learned to stand up for himself. But he has had to, and it’s not like knowing how to stand your ground and fight back is a bad thing. Maybe he still thinks he is broken, but it’s not like there is anything he can do about it. He has never met anyone else without wings afterall. If not having wings makes finding an accessible job really difficult, so be it. If not having wings makes people stare and less willing to trust him, oh well, he just stares right back. He’s alone, and that’s fine, he has come to terms with that reality.   

Virgil’s whole world changes when he sees someone else without wings on the subway one day.

He awkwardly approaches them as they happen to get off at the same stop as him, “Excuse me?” he says, gently laying a hand on their arm. 

The person turns with a start, “Yes? What is it?” they ask, peering over a round set of glasses. 

Virgil opens his mouth and tries to say something but nothing comes out. So, he just stares for a second before turning and showing the man that he doesn't have wings either.

The man gives him a grin, “Oh hey, we match!”

Virgil smiles a little, “I didn't think there was anyone else like me.” he mumbles. 

The man lays a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “Well you definitely aren’t alone. Actually, there are more of us than you might think. If you’re not busy right now i'm actually heading to a support group for people without wings. You’re welcome to join me.” “Oh, uh yeah, okay... I'd love to.” Virgil was about to head to his favorite record store, but he supposed it couldn't hurt to go visit, it’s not like he really has anything else to do. Besides, it’s probably better he doesn’t spend the money and he doesn’t think he could say no if he tried. 

The man smiles and holds out his hand to Virgil, “I should probably introduce myself, i'm Patton.”

“Nice to meet you Patton, i'm Virgil.” He says, shaking Patton’s hand.

“Well Virgil, i'm glad we met.”

“Me too.” Virgil says, turning to look around, “Now where is this meeting thing you were talking about?”

Patton grabs Virgil’s hand and turns walking out of the subway, “It’s not far from here, only about a few minute walk.” 

Virgil stumbles as the unexpected pull drags him forward, but only for a moment. When they get outside he is able to better get his bearings and Patton lets go of his hand as the foot traffic is practically nonexistent.

Patton turns to Virgil, “Oh, You’re probably wondering why I don't have any wings, huh?”

Virgil shrugs, “Well I didn't want to be rude, I get that question a lot, but yeah I am genuinely curious.”

Patton smiles, “I understand, but I offered, so It’s no problem to share. Apparently when I was a super small child I got sick and my wings got infected and had to be amputated to keep me alive. I don't remember having them as that happened when I was about one year old, but anyway. What about you? If you don't mind sharing.”

Virgil nods, “I don't mind. It’s kinda weird though, I was actually born without wings. I've seen tons of doctors, none of them has any idea why. I'm fine, healthy, nothing out of the ordinary, and my birth was perfectly normal and healthy. I just... Don't have wings.”

Patton hums, “I know someone like that, I don't know if they’ll be at the group today but if they are I'll be sure to introduce you. I think you would get along well.”

There is a lull in the conversation and, as the time passes, Virgil is finally starting to process everything that just happened. He is hit with a strange sense of hope? Excitement? Joy? And some other positive emotion Virgil feels but can't quite identify. He is just trying to find a word for it when Paton drags him in the front door of some building he hadn’t noticed. He walks in and sees a room full of people, every single one of them without wings. 

Virgil just stops dead in his tracks and stares. The reality of it hits him like a wall. Virgil is reeling. He isn't alone. He isn't some strange defect alone in a world of “normal” people. There are other people like him. That means... maybe, just maybe, there isn't anything wrong with him. He... He feels like he belongs.

He doesn't even notice that he is crying until Patton asks him what’s wrong. 

“Absolutely nothing.” Virgil mumbles.

Patton lays a comforting hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “This must be a lot for you. I was a bit overwhelmed my first time too, and I knew that there were other people without wings. Take your time to adjust. Oh, and just so you know, the group is a rather informal space where we can sit around and just talk about things. Feel free to join a conversation whenever you’re ready.”

Virgil gives Patton a small nod and takes a deep breath trying to steady himself as he takes another look around. He wipes his eyes and another man approaches him, “Hey there, I haven't seen you here before.”

“It’s my first time here, you couldn’t’ve had the chance.”

“Well then, welcome! I’m Roman.” The man says with a comically deep bow.

Virgil smirks, “Hi Roman, i'm Virgil.”

“Well Virgil, it's great to meet you! How did you hear about us?”

Virgil blinks, “Well, to be honest, I met Patton getting off the subway not ten minutes ago.”

Roman’s eyes go wide, “Oh dang, well this must be pretty new to you huh?” 

“That’s an understatement.” Virgil chuckles wryly.

“Well, I hope you like it here.”

“I do, haven’t done much yet, but it doesn’t seem bad either. I just have a question.”

Roman raises an eyebrow, “Shoot”

Virgil sighs, “This is gonna sound really stupid, but what are those?” he says pointing to some things scattered around the room.

“You mean the chairs?” Roman asks, very obviously doing his best to hide his laughter.

Virgil scowls, “I mean yeah, I get that they’re chairs. I figured they were meant for sitting on, but what is that attached to the seat?”

Roman chuckles, “They’re for our pet dragons to perch on.” 

Virgil tilts his head, looking at Roman, confused and exasperated. 

Roman’s smile disappears, “Oh, you... you were being serious, weren't you?”

Virgil nods, “Yeah, and i'm still confused.” he says folding his arms.

Roman nods, “Okay, sorry. The backs of the chairs are for leaning against, they are a lot more comfortable that way. We’re just having a social hang out night tonight, nothing super organized or fancy, you’re bound to see someone sit down at some point.”

Virgil rolls his eyes, “Why not show me how it works? Im mean it can't be-”

He is interrupted as Patton bounces up to them, “Oh Virgil, you met Roman, how nice! He was the person I was wanting to introduce you to!” Patton says, giving Roman a hug.

Roman hugs him back, pulling back to clap Patton on the shoulder, “Nice to see you again, Padre. How did things go the other night with Logan? I just have to know!”

“Nice to see you too, Roman.” He chuckles, “You didn't tell me Logan was such a nerd.”

Roman huffs.

“Oh, calm down, it went well. He really is great. He is so sweet and beautiful and smart. We’re actually going on a date tonight”

Roman smiles, “That’s wonderful! I'm glad you two are getting on so well!”

Virgil smirks, “You seeing anyone, Roman?”  

Roman shakes his head, “No actually, I am between princes at the moment,” he admits scratching the back of his head, “I'm more of a matchmaker than an actual match you know.”

Virgil nods, “Ah. Yeah, I get that.” 

At that moment Patton grabs Virgil, tugging him away. “Oh Virgil, you should come meet my friend Harriet, they’re right over here. You’ll love them.”

And with that Roman was laughing and waving as Patton dragged him away.

[dovechim]

After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???” 

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but  still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”) 

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect  😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/ 

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing  😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!! 

come back whenever you have time bb

[bisymmetra]

i. title: détente

ii. fandom: overwatch

iii. characters/ships: jack morrison, ; gen, background ships, might be reaper76 if i make this a thing but rn it’s shipless

iv. warnings: uh, discussion of ptsd/panic attacks/nightmares, but like vaguely? like nothing triggery really but if youre sensitive, brief mention of alcohol, more specific champagne and the pop of it setting off a panic attack

v. tags: dogs, im using forty nine for jack’s age bc the timeline’s all over and i put 45 - 55 in a rng and got forty nine, angela ziegler has #connections, this is five pages and just short of 2k words wtf, tenatively, bonnie the dog, therapy dog, this is jack centered tbh but if i write more hana’s getting a cat, idk if i truly like this

vi. summary: “Uh,” Jack says, the stumble coming out before he can stop it. “That’s a dog.”

“It sure is,” Angela says agreeably, depositing it in his arms and sipping her coffee. “Merry Christmas.”

“It’s June,” he deadpanned, as the wriggling little thing laps at his visor.

vii. notes: i wrote this in an hour and i dont know if i truly like it but bonnie the dog is a thing now. i literally just listened to alberta by eric clapton while writing this. will be on ao3 in half an hour. @snowsheba​ saw these hcs that inspired this first. 

It’s four in the morning the first time he tells Angela about the dreams.

Nightmares, really. The kind that leave him grasping at catching his breath, the sweat on his brow chilly wet and clingy in the Spanish night. The kind that leaves your heart thrumming in his ears. He doesn’t - he doesn’t think this is anything important, really. It should be expected, really. He’s old, now, and he’s been military for forty damn years. He’s seen some shit.

Most people who got up real early to find him already awake didn’t question it - dreams of their own, he guessed, or maybe just expecting career military to be up at the crack of dawn. And they weren’t wholly wrong - years on a farm and years in the military have him waking up earlier than most the base, on the nights where he doesn’t wake up around two or three.

It’s the fourth time that Angela’s woken up at three in the morning to find him awake. The kitchen. this time. The practice range twice before, and once in between that in one of the commons, a book on his lap. (He didn’t much like being there, on one of those nights, but he’d had a nightmare about an incident in Kuwait, and the walls of the room had been suffocating. Hana had also been sitting there, playing some vintage game in the low light. He figured they were there for similar reasons, and didn’t say a word for hours.)

“Jack,” Angela said. The clock on the wall is a bright, neon blue 3:49 AM. Jack, to his credit, manages to look up from his coffee and at her. In the fluorescent kitchen light, her dark circles look more prominent, the mess of her hair tied in a loose not. She has a bottle of water in her hand. She looks exhausted. Momentarily, he wonders how much sleep she’s getting, then feels like a hypocrite.

“Angela,” he musters, swallowing. “Lovely morning.”

“The sun won’t be up for another few hours,” she said. “Why are you up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he says, which - it isn’t a lie, really. He couldn’t get back to sleep, after tonight.

“Doesn’t seem like you ever do,” she says, sliding down across from him. “That’s not good for your health.”

“I get a few hours,” he says. Three and a half, tonight. “Could be worse.”

“Jack,” she admonishes. “This isn’t - have you been dreaming?”

“Most people do sometimes,” he says, which - technically correct, but not what she’s asking. There is a beat, which is mostly filled with Angela frowning deeply at him and Jack staring at his coffee. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Except it doesn’t really work, because Angela is phenomenal at seeing through bullshit, and this isn’t the first accident she’s seen. (There was once, with a bottle of champagne, and the noise and laughing sounds like screaming so easily and. Jack had excused himself, mumbling, hands shaking. Angela had followed when everyone was distracted. Angela knows. How could he think he could win at lying to her?)

“There are people who can help with - everything,” she says. “I know a few that are - they’re good.” Jack fixates on everything but Angela’s face, feeling naked without the visor. He instead stares at where her neck meets her shoulder, the marks Fareeha had left. There’s a stain on her shirt’s collar, of what’s chocolate, coffee, or blood. It’s dried brown, almost reddish brown in the light. Out the window, the Gibraltar night is interrupted with crickets.

He wonders what Angela dreams of. People she couldn’t save, his mind fills in. Genji’s corpse-body, when they first brought him in. People she can’t save. Gunshots.

Jack sighs. It’s a gesture that makes him feel older than he is.

“They’re just bad dreams,” he says, voice low and deep. It feels like a confession. “Omnic Crisis. Overwatch. Old things. I’m an old man, Angela, it doesn’t mean anything’s wrong just because it keeps me up.”

“You’re not that old, compared to the average,” she muses absently. “You’re only forty nine.”

“Fifty in a few weeks,” he said, hoping for a diversion. “I’m not a young man anymore, anyway. And I can’t really see a therapist, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“Why not?”

“I’m legally dead, remember?” Angela nods, clearly contemplative. He closes his eyes. “‘s just dreams, either way. Doesn’t matter a bit.”

There’s a long pause. Angela rises from her seat. “Good night, Jack,” she murmurs.

For days, he waits to see if Angela brings it up again, or tells someone, or something. He’s worried about it.

It’s just dreams, and anxiety and - it doesn’t matter. He just doesn’t want people to look at him differently. But no one does and Angela doesn’t say anything. It’s almost as if their early morning conversation is forgotten.

It’s been nine days when he first realizes Angela didn’t forget at all. He’s sitting in a common room, talked into joining most of the other agents. People are mostly in their own groups. Hana and Genji are playing some Mario Kart thing, the engineers at a table discussing - schematics, he thinks, but he’d heard the words Pop Tarts and doubted himself - Jesse and Hanzo and Fareeha talking in soft voices. Lena, Reinhardt and Ana at a table, Wid- Amelie, he corrects himself - Amelie joining them. Sombra and Lucio at a table hollering about the game Hana and Genji are playing. Who had cajoled two thirds of their ex Talon agents and how is lost on him, but he’s almost glad Gabriel wasn’t here, even knowing - this is a talk for another day. Jack is at one of the old, worn seats, an old book in his lap.

“Jack!” Angela’s voice comes in from the hall, and most look up as she pushes the door open with her hip. It takes only a moment to discern why: in one hand is a mug of what is definitely coffee, and the other is a -

“I got you a present, you’re welcome,” Angela says.

“Uh,” Jack says, the stumble coming out before he can stop it. “That’s a dog.”

“It sure is,” Angela says agreeably, depositing it in his arms and sipping her coffee. “Merry Christmas.”

“It’s June,” he deadpanned, as the wriggling little thing laps at his visor.

“Happy early birthday,” she replies. “You turn fifty in two weeks. There.”

The puppy - which, relatively, is pretty big, a St Bernard if he had to guess - laps at his cheek next. “This is a dog,” he repeats. “Where did you get this?”

“Her,” Angela corrects. “She flunked out of being a therapy dog because she liked to lick strangers or something along those lines. She needed a home. Dogs, I’ve been told, lower stress. You’re going to give yourself a stroke or a heart attack at this rate.”

In that moment, he realizes this is about what they discussed but Angela doesn’t want to say it in public. He can appreciate that much. “Can we even keep a-”

Lena is by his side, scooping her up in a second. Her, the dog, not Angela. “Why are you protesting? It’s a dog! Accept it and move on.” The dog licks Lena’s face delightedly, and everyone resumes talking over each other about - well. Jack rises, giving Angela a look. She just grins back, satisfied.

“Fine,” he acquiesces. Arguing isn’t going to do much, anyway. Angela’d kill him if he tried to return her, anyway, even if he hasn’t had a dog since he was a teenager. His family had kept hunting and herding dogs, all of which loved his mother more than anything. She gave them the most scraps. Lena shoves the bundle of fur back into his arms after one last lick, and he stares at her as she returns to licking his face. Her, the dog, that is. Not Lena.

The dog follows him around all the time. When he sits, she sits on his feet, gets comfortable. Angela tells him she’s a six month St. Bernard. They called her Nessie in training, but she never learned the name and really, it just makes him think of conspiracy theories. (Dimly, he remembers Reinhardt rambling about - he really wants to say Bigfoot, but the memory is twenty five years old.)

He mostly just calls her Dog, which outrages an alarming amount of people. Expectedly, Ana, Lena, and Angela are most fond of Dog. Unexpectedly, he’s caught Hanzo giving her scraps four times in three days. When he enters a room that Hanzo and Bonnie are already in, she’s in his lap and he looks like a deer in the headlights. (It’s actually really fucking funny.)

He sets her on the floor before bed, but she’s always curled up next to him when he awakens, like a really furry pillow.

It takes five days for him to really get used to the idea she could provide actual help.

It’s - another bad dream, because of course it is. Jack gasps for breath, kicks off the blanket, brow slick cool with sweat. His heart pounds in his ears. Him kicking the blankets must of woke the Dog, as she bounces up, presses next to him.

She shoves her head and back against his hands, in a way that would be petting if it was his hands moving, not her body. She licks his face tentatively, as if seeing if that helps. Jack can feel his heart start to slow, faster than his normal calm down times. He moves his hands, callouses running against soft fur. Dog takes this as encouragement, licks him more excitedly. Jack closes his eyes.

Normally, he’d get up. He wouldn’t be back asleep regardless, so he may as well get up. But Dog settles in next to him, and petting her evens him out, makes it easier to settle. He lets himself be lulled to sleep.

In the morning, he names her Bonnie. It seems fitting, somehow. She seems like a Bonnie. He’ll talk to Angela about a collar, soon.

In the meantime, he sits down at the cafeteria table, Bonnie by his feet, and pretend he doesn’t see no less than five people feeding her scraps.

He goes on a day long mission on July 3rd. His birthday’s the next day (he’s getting old, he thinks). It’s a short thing, mission wise. Fifteen hours securing a payload in the heart of London and back.

He’s with Lucio, D.Va, Genji, Mei, and Sombra for it, all these young kids making him feel much older than he is. (Mei, Genji, and Sombra are all in their thirties, he remembers. But he’s fifty tomorrow. They’re kids to him, anyway. They all have much more.. zest than he does.)

He gets back late, and he’s a little sad to not have Bonnie at the door when he enters the room. He discards his jacket to the desk and changes fast, glancing at the bed to locate his dog. She’s sleeping in her exact normal spot, with an approximately Jack sized spot next to her. Jack slides in next to her, and she shifts awake, moving to press into him. She licks his face hello, and he calms her by petting her back for a few minutes.

He breathes easy, relaxed. After a few, he glances at the clock. 12:02.

“Happy birthday,” he hums warmly, closing his eyes.

He sleeps well that night.

now on ao3!

[scarletrebel]

a thing about rw.by

this is a whatever. not a meta or a theory or really a well-thought out critique. if anything I guess im just voicing my frustrations. if you like rw.by, please, please dont read this. you wont like what i have to say and i am in no way looking to upset rw.by fans, i just need a good old fashioned shout into the void. theres some things i liked in here too that actually came out whilst writing aha, so its not all my bullshit.

my main gripe with rw.by at the moment is the lack of character development for ruby rose. you know, the main character? which i think is the reason why my heart breaks a little that i dont love it as much as i used to. i identified so much with ruby. a little girl with a heart too big for her brain, who just wants to protect and help, having to come to terms with the fact that the real world doesnt make noble goals like that easy? thats my childhood right there. 

the latter is something that hasnt been touched on as far as ruby rose’s character development goes until this season, and even then it hasnt really been touched, or lightly brushed, its been mentioned. ruby thought saving the world wouldnt take that long, that the world wasnt as big as it is; she apologises to jaune for dragging jnpr along with her. all INCREDIBLE MOMENTS I was really happy about, but they werent expanded upon. it was like the writers wanted to hit a checklist of ‘make sure the audience knows ruby is naive and sad but hopeful’ rather than making it more engaging to learn about as aspects of her character, which is just lazy storytelling. 

show, dont tell. they’ve done that with juane. they’ve shown that he’s upset about phyrra’s death, they’ve shown him get mad at the situation and with qrow. he’s never outright voiced these things about his character like ruby has about herself, and we all knew she was a little naive. season one, weiss accusing ruby of being a bad leader and them showing the audience ruby trying to get better was so much better than just having her be like ‘im a little naive but ill fight for the greater good!’ like she has so blatantly been this series. 

like, why would she not get mad at her own uncle for keeping her in the dark about someone wanting to kill her?? ruby’s what, 16 at this point? 15 at the least? would she not at least be a little bit annoyed, and would that not show some character growth on her part if she was? my naivety ended, personally, when i stopped trying to be so dang optimistic, (this can become more complicated to explain, as obviously you still have to have hope in the world while keeping a level head and ruby is still young, but, thats another conversation) and if that moment hasnt happened for ruby after 1. penny dying 2. phyrra dying 3. her uncle keeping important information from her 4. her sister having her arm sliced off 5. her friends being split up from her 6. nearly dying to a foe way more powerful than she is, even with her silver eyes -- then when?! 

and lets just get it out of the way -- i dont fucking hate juane. i really, really like him as a character but i just fucking wish he got less of a spotlight because so much more attention is being payed to him and his journey and how everything affects him over ruby. it just is, and it sucks. i like theorising about his semblance, im pretty certain he’s really fucking powerful just like ruby is, but if he unlocks and masters his thing before ruby does i will be so pissed, and the only reason i say that is because it feels like thats the way its headed. 

juane is a lovely character. he’s heroic, he’s actually quite brave and smart, and he’s a good fucking friend. he’s a brilliant support character. but for the love of all that is holy, focus more on ruby when they’re in the same scene. about how he’s helping her on her journey, why could they not have had one conversation about phyrra on screen is my question. they did it really, really well it season one, and i was very loud about the fact that no, juane doesnt get more screen time or attention, but during season four it feels like he -- like everyone that isnt ruby or the other three titular characters -- has over ruby. 

just, please, rwby season five -- give ruby rose more character development. prove me fucking wrong and reveal that you were playing the long game, please.

also; i havent watched the last two episodes, but if it turns out the ‘’’cure’’’ to yangs ptsd is a new arm. fuck, man. please no. but i cant really comment on that yet so, we’ll see. i actually, up until seeing the preview for her spraying her arm and all that, really liked yangs journey. and taiyang is such a sweetheart i adore him. he was so patient and gentle and loving with yang, a few moments had me cringing but overall, an enjoyable part of the season. i hope yang gets to punch adam in the face. 

blake’s journey is one ive enjoyed also. and tbh, i think sun following her and thinking she was on a personal mission to take down the white fang is a very sun thing to do, and i think blake surprising us all by saying no im not gonna do that is a very blake thing as well. sun is spontaneous, carefree to a point and very dedicated to taking down bad guys. projecting that onto blake was his mistake, and im really glad that blake is the one to voice the audiences frustrations at how annoying it is that he follows and harrasses her into taking action (even when a part of us knows that she should -- a really, really well written aspect of blakes journey actually, i really liked it) (sun really needs to have a ‘okay im being a creep im really sorry’ moment but i dont see it happening. again; prove me wrong, guys.)

blake so, so needed to see her family. im glad she could see that and im not surprised that she wanted to run under the guise of ‘resting’ like. come on blake, we all know you’re scared shitless. her characterisation was on point, probably the most out of the four girls. blake was a+ in this season and im really happy about that, come to think of it aha. i hope she gets to punch adam too.

weiss im satisfied with too, although i really wish that ironwood and her got to talking. he didnt necesarily need to save the day for her, i would think that a guy fighting her own battles -- even if it is a ‘good one’ like ironwood -- would irk her, so it wouldve been nice for them to talk. (im still fucking salty about juanes ‘you can have her’ to neptune like lmao fuck off you fucking dudebros THAT WAS SO ANNOYING anyway) weiss being able to call off the thing she summoned before it hurt the lady would be a sign that yeah she’s getting strong but she’s learning control, so. shrug. 

papa schnee is an asshole, where is mama schnee?? and i FUCKING LOVED THE PLOT POINT THAT HER DAD MARRIED INTO THE FAMILY. please let this be an opening for a badass but subdued for Reasons mama schnee (although my hope is not that high)

my main, number one, OVERALL problem with rwby since the end of s3 to s4 is that they dont give the characters that need and deserve the most time and attention just that. i know its a small crew, i know that what they do and the time they do it in is amazing and admirable, and i do admire it and applaud it, they work so fucking hard and deserve praise for that. but they dont use their time wisely when it comes to assigning it in the narrative. and thats more of a writing issue, anyway. 

and another fucking thing. the majority of the interesting characters that arent the main four and are alive and have been developed or made mysterious enough to warrant interest from the audience are fucking men. and yeah, no duh jade, welcome to every piece of media for fucking ever. qrow is an asshole that everyone loves, raven is probably going to turn out to be a bitch -- the majority of salem’s ‘court’ or whatever are dudes. ironwood. ren got backstory over nora. blakes dad. adam taurus. for all that i love him, fucking juane. did we learn anything about phyrra that wasnt her explicitly telling us her backstory? no. we felt sad that she died because of her connections with other people, but, lets face it, mostly juane. im still adamant that she didnt die just for him, that she knew there was a bigger picture and genuinely loved him, but from a narrative pov him and his reactions was a bigger focus point especially in the aftermath with season 4. 

(ruby fucking unlocked an ANCIENT POWER BECAUSE SHE SAW PHYRRA DIE AND SHE DOESNT GET TO HAVE THE SAME EMOTIONAL SCENE ABOUT IT THAT JUANE GOT??? PLS LAST TWO EPISODES. GIVE HER THAT AT LEAST. PROVE ME WRONG.) 

i remember at a rwby panel at rtx one year, when asked about making a series that has four female protaganists, the guys said that they didnt see it that way, that they were just writing a story about a bunch of kids and yeah, i get that. but its not. 

its a story about four strong, tested, young women and they need to stop being oblivious to that because the narrative is fucking suffering. 

end rant/