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blueskiestarot · 3 years ago

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Hey, y'all! I hope everyone had a good weekend! So, this is a Pick A Pile reading. I haven't done these types of readings a whole lot but I thought I would try something new. Just choose what pile you feel drawn to. You can even pick more than one pile if you feel called to do so. Then, just scroll down for your pile! Let me know if you all like these types of readings or if you like the readings based on astrological sign better or if you have any suggestions of readings you would like to see from me. Thank you! I hope you enjoy your reading and please feel free to leave some feedback of what you thought of your pile and if it resonated with you!

Love, Tara

Welcome, Pile 1! You all chose the pile with what I believe is the Agate. You may have been drawn to this pile because you need to release some blockages in your life. The Agate is a very grounding stone and it helps balance your energy while connecting you to the Earth's energy. It has a very gentle, soothing nature. So, maybe you are in need of some gentle guidance and that is why you picked this pile!

Let's start with the Fool Reversed. This card can be seen in two ways. You may be holding yourself back by being too cautious or you may not be focusing on the right things and you are heading down a path that is not for your highest good. So, now is the time to stop and take a breather. Just take a moment to pause and look around at where you are right now. Is this the path that you truly want to be on and is it the best for you? Is this what will lead to true happiness in the future? The Fool is all about taking chances and choosing the path that feels joyous and happy. Don't allow yourself to be led down a path that does not feel right for you.

The next card I pulled for you is the Queen of Pentacles Reversed. So, right now, I think that you have a very "all work and no play" sort of attitude. You are very focused on working hard and making money. You don't really put your focus into much else. You may feel that by staying focused on your work life will help you feel successful but honestly, I feel like it's a coping mechanism and a way to feel safe and secure. Focusing on your work life keeps your mind busy and keeps it from straying to things that feel a little less safe. You may also be choosing careers that feel safe and secure instead of choosing a career that you really love. So, it's time to really reassess your priorities and remember that the universe will give you both passion and security as long as you don't doubt yourself and your ability to succeed.

Lastly, the 7 of Cups is about choosing what the next move will be. This is a card of choices. So, there is a very important choice coming to you within the next couple of weeks. I'm really getting career vibes from this pile but it could be something else as well. I just feel like some of you may be getting a career opportunities or multiple opportunities soon that you will have to choose from. It's important to figure out what choice is best for you. Make sure that you are focusing on what will make you the happiest. You don't want to be stuck with something that does not allow you to grow and evolve. Don't choose something that will make you miserable. Instead, focus on joy and passion when you make this choice.

Well, that concludes your pile! I hope you found this advice to be helpful. Please let me know what you thought of your pile and if this guidance resonated with you. Also, if you have any suggestions for future Pick A Pile readings, let me know!

Love, Tara

Pile number 2, you all chose the Rhodochrosite crystal! This is a crystal of unconditional love. This crystal connects to the heart chakra. So, you may have a blockage in your heart chakra or you may be having some difficulties with love, self-love, or relationships in your life and that is why you picked this pile.

So, I will start this off by saying that I do see someone new coming into your life. However, I don't think they are someone you expect or someone that is your "type". I just feel like this person is very different from anyone you have been interested in the past and you may feel like you never thought you would be interested in a person like this. I feel like with the Hierophant Reversed and the 4 of Pentacles, you are a kind of traditional and conservative person, especially in terms of relationships. You like to stick to the tried and true types of relationships. You have a very traditional view on relationships and there's nothing wrong with that. However, I do think that the universe and your spirit guides are trying to get you to be open to new things and new ways of thinking. Relationships are supposed to help us grow and evolve into the best possible version of ourselves. By sticking to the same type of person and the same type of relationships, you are never going to get that growth and healing that comes from a truly healthy relationship.

So, just prepare yourself for someone to enter your life that will challenge everything you have ever believed about love! While it may sound kind of scary, I think it's a very good thing. Rest assured that this is someone who is very committed to you and very loyal. However, I think they may challenge you to step forward and take the lead in the relationship sometimes. They will help you be more vocal about your wants and needs instead of just always trying to please others because they are so opinionated and they will challenge you to stand up to them when you want something. In return, you will help them be more compassionate and calm when it comes to helping other people. I'm getting a lot of Aries or Aquarius energy from this person.

Overall, I think this will be a very positive, healthy relationship once it gets going. They may just make you very nervous and unsure at first. So, just give it time and don't dismiss them too quickly because they aren't your usual type. I hope that guidance is helpful! Please let me know if this resonated with you and if you have any suggestions for future Pick A Pile topics.

Love, Tara

Pile 3, you chose my favorite crystal of all time, Larimar! So, this is a very soothing and calming stone. It is a crystal that soothes anxious minds and calms your soul. It helps you relax and find serenity. So, you may have chosen this pile if you have been worrying a lot lately and feeling very anxious.

The 9 of Swords Reversed does reflect those anxious thoughts. While you do still have anxiety and worries that you are dealing with, I feel that you have made a lot of progress lately in terms of coping. I feel that some of you have started therapy or counseling lately. For others, you may have started to talk to someone close to you like a friend or family member about these worries and that has helped you deal with and release them. Whatever it may be that you have been doing to help cope with these anxious thoughts, know that your spirit guides are right beside you cheering you on. I don't know why but I get the urge to tell you how proud your guides are. You have come such a long way and they have been by your side through it all. They see how strong you have become and you've done it all by yourself. All this progress you have made is because of your own strength and perseverance and that is something you should always take credit for. You are truly stronger than you realize and they don't want you to forget that.

The Devil Reversed suggests that you have let go of a lot of negative forces and toxic ties in your life. You have become aware of what causes negativity and what is causing your anxiety to become worse. With this knowledge, you have allowed yourself to let go of things that are not in your highest good and because of this, you are in a much better place now. While you still have things that you are dealing with and things that you are working on in regard to your mental health, you should take a second to stop and be proud of how far you have come. The Star suggests that it is safe for you to hope and dream. I feel that you are so close to achieving something that you have been hoping for or dreaming of. So, keep fighting and don't lose hope. Be proud of how far you have come and how much work that you have put into coping with your struggles. You are strong and you can handle anything life throws your way.

I really hope that you found this guidance helpful! Let me know if this pile resonated for you and if you have any suggestions for future Pick A Pile readings.

Love, Tara

For people who chose Pile 4, you chose the Ocean Jasper!

For people who chose Pile 4, you chose the Ocean Jasper! Ocean Jasper is a very supportive crystal. It helps you find peace after a particularly trying period in your life. So, if you have been going through some obstacles and challenges a lot lately, this is most definitely the pile for you and hopefully the following guidance will help you as you move forward.

So, for this pile, I'm getting two different messages - a love message and a career message. We'll start with the love message and then move on to the career message. Feel free to read both or just read the message you feel you need the most right now.

Love: For those who are experiencing a lot of obstacles in the love life right now, you are being urged to not give up on love just yet. I feel like a lot of you are close to giving up. You have been through relationship after relationship and they just haven't worked out. These could have been a series of f*ckboys or it could have been relationships that just didn't work out for whatever reason. Whatever the case may be, I do feel that you have been feeling very down about your love life and wondering if there is someone out there for you. Rest assured that there is!

I feel like you have recently come out of a difficult relationship or connection. Your spirit guides want you to know that this is the last difficult connection you will go through before you meet the person that is meant for you. Know that your person is right around the corner and you just needed one more challenge to teach you something valuable about yourself before you were ready to meet them. So, keep your head up and don't give up yet! They are coming. It's just a little bit longer. I feel that they are coming in quick. They will most likely come into your life when you least expect it or in a way that you don't expect. I just get an element of surprise here, like you won't see them coming. I feel that they are very passionate and outgoing. I definitely think they will be the one to make the first move and they won't be shy about letting you know that they are interested in you.

Career: For those who are starting to lose hope in their career, I do feel that you are right on the verge of an awesome opportunity. This is most likely a shot at your dream job or an opportunity to do something that you didn't expect but will end up absolutely loving. A lot of you have been on a rollercoaster lately when it comes to your career. It's been a lot of ups and downs and you have started to feel a little weary and tired of the drama, disappointment, and the setbacks. Know that all of that is coming to an end. You are coming out of a very challenging period and going into a much smoother, much more positive energy in your career. Your spirit guides want you to stay strong and persevere. You are so close to manifesting your dream opportunity. Keep focused on your passions, your goals, and what makes you feel happy and inspired. That will lead you on your correct path. Don't let the obstacles and the setbacks get you down. You are so close to the finish line, don't give up yet!

I truly hope that you can find some peace in this guidance and that this advice can help you as you move forward. Please let me know if this pile resonated with you and if you have any ideas for future Pick A Pile readings.

Love, Tara

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thatweeboverthereisthirsty · 4 years ago

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Hello! Can I request hcs for your top 5 favorite characters when they find out their fem s/o vapes/smokes? Have a nice day~💕

I loved writing these ngl. Also I did six because I have no idea how to choose between these guys.

Characters: Leona, Ruggie, Floyd, Kalim, Idia, Malleus

Warnings: smoking&vaping, overdramatic teenage boys (leona isn’t a teenager, does malleus count?)

Leona:

He didn’t peg you to be that kind of person, but there was no doubt that you were vaping

He had smelled the weed on you a few times but didn’t comment. It was common for there to be clouds of vape in the bathrooms at school so he figured you had just walked through one

At first he wouldn’t comment, but he would watch you do it and keep track of how many times you took a hit and how frequently you pulled your pen out during the day

If he felt like there was nothing serious to worry about then he might let it fly a few times only commenting on how he hated the smell to try and persuade you to do it less often

If he was concerned about the amount of vaping you did, he would probably just steal all your stuff at first to see if you would stop

If that didn’t work then he would confront you about it asking why you started and how long you’ve been doing it

It’s unlikely that he’ll be super upset about it but he will ask you to stop and provide you with other solutions if needed

He prefers the you that isn’t higher than the clouds

After learning more about vaping and the fact that by inhaling toxic metals you could potentially die then he would put up more of a fight

If it got to the point where he was really concerned he might take you to a rehab center just so they could get you to stop (even if you weren’t addicted)

Ruggie:

Wait what?! You smoke!!!

He stares in shock as you pull the cigarette away from your mouth and blow out a large puff of smoke

No no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!

Already running up to you and snatching the cigarette out of your hands

“Ruggie!”

Absolutely not. He’s seen enough people in the slums turn to smoking or that might even be the reason they were in the slums to begin with.

He knows the cost. He has seen people die, or get violently sick, or run out of money because they smoke

It is not something he’s gonna watch you go through

Probably gonna yell at you about how awful this is for you before finding all your cigarettes and soaking them before chopping them into little pieces and throwing them away

He’s got a great sense of smell so if he smells nicotine on you again he would get really upset

Ruggie cares about you a lot but would still most definitely threaten you to get you to stop

If he threatens to end your relationship to that means he’s certainly worried about your health

He doesn’t care how you started in the first place he justs wants you to stop

Would totally beg Leona to pay for rehab

Would also totally drag you there

Floyd:

Eh? What’s little shrimpy doing?

Has zero clue what a vape is or how it works, but it looks fun let him try it too

You’re probably hesitant cause he doesn’t know what it is and if Azul and Jade found out they might get mad

He’s gonna try it anyways

Literally has no idea how to use it and probably ends up inhaling his own spit instead

He wants to know how you make clouds with your breath though, and oh! You can make it into shapes!

Definitely gonna ask Azul and his big brother about it

They casually explain what vaping is and what it does. They also tell him that it’s bad for you and he shouldn’t try it

“Huh? But little shrimpy does it all the time?”

Que a further explanation and advice on how to help you stop

He’s gonna pest you about it all the time now

“You didn’t swallow any clouds again today did you?”

“No Floyd I didn’t swallow any clouds”

It’s very easy for him to get you to stop since he’ll just squeeze you everytime he catches you doing it

And when he finds your pen he will pick it up and throw it away

Has he seen your vape? Of course not. Why would Floyd know where your cloud machine went?

Every time you get sick he accuses you of vaping too much

“You wouldn’t be stuck in bed all day if you hadn’t swallowed so many clouds, shrimpy.”

Kalim:

Immediate panic

“JAMIL!!!!!”

Literally Jamil does not have time for this

Tells him to calm down and just ask you about it

Ok yeah. Kalim can do that. He’s calm

He’s not calm

Forgets to ask you about it and instead asks if you wanna go for a ride

Legit takes you to a rehab center and cries at the front desk about you for like 40 min

The people ask you a few questions and determine that no you’re not addicted and tell Kalim that everything is gonna be fine

You are literally so confused right now

When you guys get home he can’t stop asking questions and telling you that it’s bad to smoke

Will bribe you to get you to stop

“I’ll buy you whatever you want just don’t do that”

Literally 100x more panicked than any other normal person

“BUT WHAT IF YOU DIE!!!!!!”

Doesn’t want to leave your side in case you do it again when he’s not looking

Jamil is 200% done with the dramatics

“Listen if you don’t stop I’ll actually poison your food. I have a hard enough time dealing with Kalim when he isn’t freaking out.”

Between the two of them it would just be easier to stop

Kalim will throw you a party for stopping

He’s so proud of you

“Baby you make me so proud!”

“Kalim she’s not your daughter *sigh*” - Jamil

“WHAT IF OUR DAUGHTER SMOKES!!!”

Hold up since when did he decide that-

Never mind

Kalim is just a big drama baby and you love him for it

Idia:

Probably doesn’t really know what to think about it

On one hand you’re old enough to make your own decisions

On the other hand your decision making skills are obviously not great

Literally spend the next month trying to decide what to do about it

Makes a pros and cons visual board for confronting you about it

Also writes up a list of reactions to his confrontation

Probably also writes up like 17 different scripts all in a choose your own ending type format to include how to deal with every reaction

Ngl he panics a lot cause he knows that vaping is bad but after finding out you do it he can’t stop watching these really concerning youtube videos about how people’s lives turned into a total complete disaster because of vaping

He becomes a nervous wreck every time you smell like weed

Always has you count to ten when he sees you

Likely has visions of you in the hospital or homeless on the street wheezing about how you wished someone had stopped you

Either you’re gonna catch on and ask him about it, initiating the conversation or he’s gonna have Ortho do it

He’s worried you will leave him for not being supportive

Literally asks you if you’re gonna leave him for this

Obviously you won’t so when you confirm that you’re staying he melts into a puddle and just cries

Highkey he looks more like one of those crazy people from the videos than you

“But Idia you’re addicted to video games and sugar. People say that’s as bad as cocaine”

Figures out that sugar releases the same chemical in your brain as cocaine

“What if you just ate a bunch of candy with me instead? We can be sugar addicts together.” (Idia I’d love to but no amount of candy is worth a break out)

Fine fine fine you’ll stop (but only cause he literally looks like he’s having withdrawals just from worrying about you) it’s ironic

Malleus:

Most dramatic by far

WHY WOULD A FRAGILE HUMAN PURPOSELY PUT THEIR HEALTH AT RISK

Ngl has zero clue what’s going on until Lilia points it out

“Huh doesn’t smoking kill humans?”

*blink* *blink*

Smoking does what to a human

“DARLING!!!!”

Seriously thinks that your going to die any minute now

Que the mental breakdown

Calls all the best healers and puts you on bed rest

“Darling I know we’re gonna get through this. Just keep fighting”

Ummm… you have no idea what’s happening

He just kidnapped you from class and put you in a Diasomnia room and started weeping like you were dying

Lowkey he already started looking at ways to preserve your body as long as possible

Also looks at coffins and tombstones

Highkey plans to buy you a large plot of land that looks over the pretty stuff in the valley of thorns

Why? you ask.

Because obviously you deserve a whole cemetery to yourself

“Malleus I’m not gonna-”

“Shhh don’t speak. You’ll only make it harder to heal”

Lilia walks in and finds this

Probably thinks this is super sweet and totally wants to leave you guys like this

But doesn’t want Malleus to suffer and you to be held on house arrest for no reason

“She’s not dying Malleus”

What? Ooooooohhhh… oops

He gets embarrassed af

Has to call back all the people he hired to prepare for your death

“Um hi there. Turns out I don’t need that jewel encrusted coffin. No no the pyramid should still be built, humans have short life spans.”

“MALLEUS!!!!”

He is so grateful you’re not dying

But would totally get pissed if you decided to smoke again

Guess that’s the end of that

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years ago

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MonX Hospital | Jooheon

Pairing: Lee Jooheon x reader

Genre: paeditrician – hospital au / romance / friends with benefits to lovers au

Warnings: medical and challenging behaviour terms, and whilst they’re fwb it’s only talked about, there are no sex scenes.

Word count: 3994

Tuning out the conversation at the front desk he had been listening to, Jooheon shifted his attention to the busy waiting room. A mother, looking rather frustrated, was standing beside a small child and holding out her hand. She visibly swallowed back her urgency and smiled. “Come on Maddox, the nurse is waiting for us.”

The young boy ignored her request, continuing to push a car on a table, hurtling it around with a bit more force.

“Maddox! Let’s go,” she tried again, reaching out for his hand, in which the boy immediately recoiled away from and screamed. His mother, trying not to catch the sympathetic looks from the other waiting parents, readjusted her bag upon her shoulder. “Come on now, the nurse just needs to see how big you’re getting! It’s not scary, I swear.”

Pushing away from the counter he had been resting upon, Jooheon entered the space, giving the mother a comforting smile before sitting down on the floor next to the child. Maddox glanced in his direction cautiously, now pushing the car around with less force. Jooheon grinned. “Woah, that’s some good driving you’re doing there! Can I join?”

The child didn’t verbally answer, but he did hand Jooheon a car. Starting up some revving noises, he then propelled it around the track the child had made out of various wooden blocks and toys from the container in the corner. Jooheon purposely knocked down a bridge and then gasped noisily.

The small boy giggled. “You caused an accident!”

“I really did, didn’t I. Was I going too fast?” Maddox nodded. “What do you recommend I do?”

“You’ll need to go see a doctor! Your driver is injured!”

“Oh no!” Jooheon exclaimed and several of the other kids in the waiting room edged closer. “Isn’t it a good thing I’m in a hospital right now?”

“Are you a doctor?” another child asked and Jooheon nodded guiltily.

“I am. I should have known better and gone slower, right?”

All the kids agreed with this.

“Maybe since we’re in a hospital, Maddox here could take me and my broken driver to see the nurse right now. He needs to get checked out.”

The little boy hesitated before nodding and holding out his hand. Jooheon hid his smile as best as he could, and the rest was wiped off his face when Maddox dragged him across the foyer and into the room he had been avoiding all this time. For a little guy, he sure was strong. His mother darted along with them, smiling appreciatively at Jooheon who Maddox insisted had to sit down with him.

“Nurse Tina, I drove too fast and now Maddox and I need to get checked out.”

“Well,” she said solemnly, looking at Maddox and nodding her head. “We best check you both out for any injuries, huh?! First, let’s take your temperature, shall we?”

“Thank you,” the mother said once Maddox’s basic stats were charted. “He gets a little overwhelmed in places like these.”

“It’s common so don’t feel it’s something you’re doing wrong. Kids don’t naturally like coming to the hospital,” Jooheon replied before crouching down to ruffle Maddox’s hair. “Thanks for looking out for me! Now you go down that hallway and let Doctor Y/N look out for your driver, okay?”

“You better heal well, Doctor…” Maddox leaned in to attempt to read his badge. Before he could tell him his name, Maddox looked at the honey pot clay pin attached to his lanyard and grinned. “Doctor Honey!”

“That’s me,” he chuckled. “I’m Doctor Honey.”

“Doctor Honey, huh?” you mentioned when Jooheon walked into the shared office space for junior consultants, shooting him a smirk. “I heard all about how reckless you drove from a little boy and three others today. I think I’m going to take the bus home tonight instead of catching a ride with you.”

“I guess I have my first nickname here,” Jooheon breathed dramatically before sitting down. “Here I was hoping for “Doctor McHottie. Guess being a paediatrician makes that one a bit of a stretch.”

“That and this isn’t Grey’s Anatomy,” you replied with another smile before throwing down your pen with a heavy sigh.

Jooheon peered over at your case notes and then scrunched up his nose. “Hard day?”

“I have one patient who I saw today in Doctor Clifford’s clinic hours and I’m at a loss of what to present to him in our meeting tomorrow morning.”

“Can I read your case notes more closely?” he asked and you slid the file over. Reaching for your tablet to look up the history of previous visits for the young girl, Jooheon sighed as well. “Poor thing has enough going on in her life, huh?”

“She’s retracting away from society at a rapid pace. When she did answer my questions, she was very angry in doing so. There’s a lot of tension pent up in her body and mind right now.”

“And the caregivers state the change came from puberty? Nothing else?”

“Her biological parents have recently left the scene for good, which initially eased some of her aggressive behaviour. However, the return of the new school year has put a lot of strain on the situation. Some of these symptoms do support her diagnosis on the ASD spectrum, but I’m also concerned we’re not doing enough. I’ve increased the dosages for two medications she’s taking and given the caregiver some advice on how to address the lack of school attendance from a professional’s perspective but she didn’t seem all that relieved it would do much to help things at home and I can’t stop thinking about their situation. She’s such a sweet kid but she’s not getting the right assistance to help her overcome this.”

“And her diagnosis of Autism is much newer than most of these other labels that some of the services out there to support kiddos like her would have given them a stand-down period of six weeks before even adding them to the waiting list so who knows when they will get seen by them to continue support at home,” Jooheon added on, tapping a finger on his chin trying to find a solution.

The past year that he had worked as a junior consultant in the Paediatrics department had definitely come with some highs. Working with children and helping them overcome obstacles both physically and mentally to reach closer to their potential was always rewarding. But more often than not, he felt restricted by the amount of help he could give to kids like this one. A meeting during one of these clinics was only a moment in time for that family. The parents and caregivers of children exhibiting these challenging behaviours truly deserved all the respect in the world for what they must face day in and out.

Jooheon knew that your frustrations matched his own, wishing there was more you could do to support that family. He smiled determinedly at you over the table. “Let’s brainstorm what else you could suggest for her ongoing support and reach out to the agencies we know that might provide assistance to the family with her needs as well.”

“You know, you really suit that nickname of yours, Doctor Honey,” you replied with a watery smile, nodding as you reached to take the file back. “You sure are a sweetheart.”

“Sweet enough to have dinner with?” Jooheon shot back playfully and he grinned when you rolled your eyes right as he expected you to.

“I like things to be more sour than just sweet.”

“Chinese it is,” he announced and you laughed whilst shaking your head.

“Sometimes, I wonder how to get through to you that only being your friend and colleague is where it belongs for us.”

“Friends can have dinner together.”

“I remember our last dinner,” you stated with a hushed tone as Jooheon’s smile grew again. “Don’t smile!”

“I remember it too. It was really delicious.”

“I don’t recall signing up for dessert afterwards,” you continued, trying to sound unaffected as you scrolled through your tablet.

“I don’t recall you saying no to it either,” he pointed out, trying not to smile too much at your reproachful look. “We can enjoy the perks of being consenting adults when we want to, Y/N.”

“I swear you’ve watched way too many doctors TV shows.”

Jooheon smirked. “Never seen one, actually. You’re just trying to pass it off for whatever happens in those dramas so you don’t have to admit that being friends with me is fun.”

“It’s trouble. Honey gets sticky and is hard to remove.”

“You don’t have to remove it,” he offered. Glancing over at you earnestly, he hoped you would notice that whilst having bouts of pleasure with you over the past year had been well reciprocated, Jooheon hoped it could become more between you.

You deflated his approach quickly. “Sorry, I have plans for dinner. Maybe next time, Doctor Honey.”

“Did you ever follow up with that family with the puberty issue?” Jooheon asked a couple of weeks later when he crossed paths with you in the hallway leading to a seminar you were both attending.

You nodded, shooting him a smile. “Clifford was thrilled with the added suggestions I had for the case. Thanks for your help.”

“Hey, whatever gives these kids the best chance to thrive, huh?”

“I hope this seminar is worth it.”

Jooheon smirked. “Don’t snore too loudly this time round.”

“I did not!” Yanking on his arm as you looked around at the fellow health professionals entering the space, you then huffed indignantly. “I had worked two shifts back to back and ended up helping on an urgent case before the last one!”

“Sure,” he replied simply, his dimples deepening as he threw you another playful smile. “If that’s what helps you cover up-”

“Are you fishing for a thank you since you made sure no one found me sleeping through the last one?!” you enquired as you both stepped into the large boardroom, aiming for the seats concealed in the back row. Once seated, you gave Jooheon a pointed look. “I won’t fall asleep.”

“What will you do this time if you do?”

“I’m not going to!”

“I’m going to hold it over your head if you do. I know! Dinner tonight if you fall asleep.”

“I hope you enjoy eating alone, Lee Jooheon.”

Hours later, you grumbled as you took a seat adjacent from Jooheon in a sushi bar, pointing your index finger at him warningly. “Don’t!”

“Sure looks like I have the best company for eating alone tonight, Y/N.”

“We’re only eating,” you announced firmly, before reaching out for a plate from the conveyor belt that ran along the inner edge of the table. You then let out another groan. “If only her voice hadn’t been so dreary!”

“Face it, unless you’re being stimulated, you fall asleep too easily. I don’t know how you even got through med school.”

“Lots of coffee and determination.”

“Guess now that you have the job it’s easy to slacken off huh?”

“Jooheon!”

He grinned. “Don’t worry. I took enough notes for the pair of us.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you told him and gestured to the food. “It’s on me tonight.”

The conversation flowed easily over a range of topics during dinner, as it usually did. Jooheon hadn’t met someone who he could tease in one moment and then discuss serious topics in the next until you, and it always made him yearn for more of your attention. However, when you reached for your second shot glass of sake, Jooheon took it from you and downed it instead.

“Hey! That was mine.”

“You’re a lightweight. Don’t drink anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ll end up wanting dessert if you do,” he told you bluntly, and you stared at him, cheeks flushed.

“Who says I don’t already?”

“Are you feeling the effects of the alcohol so soon?”

Leaning over and kissing him impulsively, Jooheon was stunned when you pulled away. You cocked your head to the side and took the shot glass back before pouring more of the rice wine. You knocked it back. “I can’t have you having dessert alone as well, huh?”

“Let’s pay the check then. It’s a work night and we don’t need to drink any more with early morning clinics tomorrow.”

“You’re right,” you agreed with a seductive trail of your finger down his chest. “I’m sure you’ll make me feel more than drunk on what you have in store for me tonight.”

“Doctor Honey!” the children exclaimed as he entered the hospital schoolroom, waving to all the attendees of the class. A couple of the physically-abled children hopped up from their seats and dashed over to hug him.

“How’s school today?”

“We’re colouring!” Ingrid told him and he gasped noisily, allowing the girl to take him over to her place at the table. She was colouring in a fairy with a pretty flower crown.

“Colouring!” he repeated, crouching down to look at Minseok’s alligator he was carefully remaining within the lines of. “You’re all future artists!”

“Will you colour with us?!”

“Me? Oh, I don’t know, I’m just a doctor.”

“You could draw a picture of Doctor Y/N!” Jake suggested and Jooheon lost his balance, falling to the floor with an embarrassing thud.

The children all giggled.

Recovering, Jooheon narrowed his gaze on Jake. “Why would I draw her?”

“Because last time she came to visit our class, she drew you!” Melissa told him as she pointed to the wall where a picture of a honey pot and spoon had been hung up.

Jooheon laughed. “That’s a honey pot.”

“It’s you! She told us so.”

“Really?” he asked, looking at the picture again. He grinned. “Did she tell you why she chose to draw that?”

“We asked her to draw her favourite thing.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” he breathed out quietly, thinking back to your indifferent behaviour this morning when you woke up at his place.

Coming back to the present, Jooheon smiled weakly. “I wish I could colour with you all but I’m actually here for Luna.”

Luna lowered her head and shook it adamantly. “I don’t want to go!”

“Doctor Honey will be with you, don’t be scared, Luna,” the teacher, Mrs Potts, gently encouraged and the other children moved to hug her and tell her it would be okay.

Once Luna was free from her friends, Jooheon held out his hand for her. “I’ve even got the coolest orderly on his way to help you travel to your therapy session in style.”

“You’ll still come too, right?”

“Of course!” he assured, her sweaty palm gripping onto his more tightly.

As he walked Luna back to her wardroom, she kept looking up at Jooheon inconspicuously, and he smiled after catching her once more in the reflection of the window they passed by. “What is it, Luna?”

“Is Doctor Y/N your girlfriend?”

Jooheon shook his head sadly in answer. “She just wants to be my special friend.”

“I had a boyfriend once,” she whispered when back in her room and Jooheon leaned down to help her up onto her bed. He then gasped and Luna giggled behind her hand.

“You’re too young for a boyfriend!”

“And you’re too old! Shouldn’t you be married by now?!”

“I’m not old at all!”

“Then I’m not young!” she refuted and Jooheon gave her a fist pump in a truce. Her humour eased. “I wish I had kept him as my special friend though.”

“Why?”

“When he left the hospital after getting better, he never contacted me again. If I hadn’t of given him my heart, it wouldn’t have hurt so much.” Blinking at the vulnerable truth the twelve year old had spoken of, Jooheon sighed. She was too young for such a painful experience on top of her health condition.

Luna took Jooheon’s hand and squeezed it again. “Maybe Doctor Y/N doesn’t want you to ever leave her so she chooses to keep you as her special friend instead.”

Before he could respond, Minhyuk, the cheerful orderly, arrived and took away his chance. Jooheon smiled at Luna thoughtfully.

It was amazing how insightful kids could be.

“It feels like it’s been forever since I worked in the same place as you,” you mentioned when you entered the office space the following week and Jooheon grinned.

“It’s only been two days. Are you not getting enough done in your shifts to feel like time is dragging or something?”

“You’re not funny.” Sitting down heavily, you placed your hands up under your chin to rest your head upon them. “It’s just weird.”

“Weird how?”

“Even when we’re busy, you always seem to appear during my day.”

Jooheon swallowed slowly. “I guess friends are not always visible when busy.”

“You are though,” you persisted, narrowing your gaze on his face. “Are you okay?”

“Sure.”

“Really?” Peering at Jooheon more closely, he diverted his gaze from your scrutiny. “Are you hiding something from me?”

“What’s there to hide? We’re just friends, Y/N.”

“Hm,” you hummed, shaking your head. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m just being your friend.”

“Say the word friend one more time, I beg of you,” you said darkly, opening your file with a huff.

He chose to look at you then, chewing on his bottom lip.

Luna’s words had played around in his mind. Jooheon didn’t realise that his advances could have been felt as pressure to you, and whilst he knew being friends who slept together worked to some extent, he hadn’t realised it could mean something to you to not go any further.

And so he had decided to just be the friend you needed. Although, Jooheon wondered if he had taken the step back a little too far if you were aware of how little he was trying to bombard you each day. To be fair, he wasn’t very good at reeling back his own feelings or level of friendship to make you feel more comfortable.

After a few minutes of working in silence, you cleared your throat. “Are you busy tonight?”

“No.”

“Good, want to Netflix and Chill?” you suggested, not lifting your gaze from your tablet. Jooheon didn’t answer immediately and you flicked your eyes upwards. You then frowned, waving a hand in front of his face. “Earth to Doctor Honey, did you hear me?”

“Uh, maybe not tonight. I’m not feeling well.”

“Really? But that one time when you were ill and told me nothing could stop you from-”

“Guess I had more energy back then,” he lied, collecting up his things hastily. He was growing confused and it was bothering him.

You seemed bothered as well. “Where are you off to? We have two hours to write up our findings from our clinical hours today.”

“I need to go look up something in the library. I’ll catch you later.”

Jooheon slapped the side of his head a couple of times once he was out of the office, groaning with how awkward he was acting towards you.

He realised he couldn’t just be friends with you anymore.

Your working environment continued to grow tense until you found Jooheon in an empty wardroom, patting the bed in which Luna had once resided in.

For a moment, you comforted him. “It’s a good thing she’s going home. Why are you sitting here looking so lost?”

“I’ve grown attached to her.”

“She was a spunky little thing. Gave me lots of advice.”

Jooheon nodded softly. “Me too.”

“Did she give you the advice to avoid me?” you wondered and Jooheon glanced up at you in confusion. You shrugged, taking a seat on the bed beside him. “Or did she say something to make you back off from me?”

“No, well-”

“I knew it!” you exclaimed, standing back up and waving your hands around. “See, she told me that there was someone really special in my world and that I should see him as more than a friend and then you kept saying the words just friends over and over and I cannot believe you took the advice of a twelve year old so literally!”

“Hang on a moment,” he simply replied, narrowing his eyes on your face. “Regardless of age, some people say insightful things. I was just giving you the space you need since I have made it clear that I want to be more than just friends who sleep together. I want the whole deal with you but you always give excuses. So yeah, I listened to Luna and thought maybe you had a reason that you didn’t want to be more than friends with me over. I was being respectful of your needs.”

“Disappearing from my world is respectful?” you asked, shaking your head. “You made me lonely. I half wondered if I had offended you or you’d grown bored of me. I kept making advances at you that you’ve deflected. How is that being a friend?”

“Do you like me?”

“Of course I do.”

“I mean more than a friend,” he reiterated and you opened your mouth, only to close it again. Jooheon sighed. “See, this is where we differ. I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you and want to-”

“My last partner manipulated me,” you blurted out. Cringing, you started to pace the floor. “I gave him so much of myself that when I realised what he was doing to me, I vowed I wouldn’t date again. I wanted to hold full control over my feelings. I figured if all you and I did was eat and sleep together that I wouldn’t get too attached. I could have a good friend and have some fun with you too.”

You stopped pacing and looked at him. “But you’ve become more than a friend; even I have to admit it. I want to do more than what we have. I just don’t want to lose what we have either.”

“I’m not going to hurt you like that,” Jooheon answered, standing up and stepping closer to you. Reaching for your shoulders, he smiled gently. “I’m not like him.”

“I know, you’re so much better in all areas,” you breathed and Jooheon grinned. “That’s why I get scared. You’re too good of a human to mess things up with.”

“What if things only get better, not messed up?” he offered and you slipped your arms around his waist, placing your head against him. “What if we’re better at being more than just friends?”

“Is it worth risking what we have?” you murmured, lifting your head to look at him. After staring at one another for an intense moment, you nodded. “Of course it is.”

Jooheon kissed you then, softly. It felt like it had been so long since he had last caressed your lips properly. You pressed into him firmly, deepening the embrace.

And then jumped apart when you both heard fevered giggling. “It’s just like what my Mummy watches on TV! Doctors do kiss each other in secret!”

“Ew, are you both worried about catching cooties?!”

“Why would they be worried? They’re doctors! They can cure anything!”

“How about you guys head off and pretend you saw nothing and I’ll be down to the schoolroom with candy in twenty minutes,” Jooheon stated and with another set of giggles, they darted out, leaving you both laughing at being caught.

“They’re right though,” you mentioned, stretching up to peck his lips again. “We can cure anything.”

Jooheon grinned, resting his forehead on yours. “So how about dinner tonight?”

“With Doctor Honey?” you asked, pretending to think about it. “I don’t know, what’s on the menu?”

“Anything you fancy.”

“Even you?”

“I thought I was too sticky,” he teased, reminding you of a past conversation.

Trailing your index finger up until you flicked his chin gently; you gave him a smirk. “Maybe I don’t mind if I can’t get you off of me now.”

_________________

Next: Changkyun

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hearthandhomemagick · 4 years ago

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Cottage Witch Journal Entry - New Beginnings in Imbolc

It’s all an internal process.

Imagine a tiny version of yourself, sitting in an empty, maybe even run-down room. You are surrounded by four blank walls and no décor. You have supplies and tools and options for how you fabricate this room, it is ultimately your choice on how you shape it. You can change it, you can adjust and repaint it, and you can even tear down certain walls, or build new ones with doors. All in all, this room is your choice and responsibility to maintain.

The catch, though, is that this room is your responsibility and yours alone for the rest of your life on Earth. So, you can literally do whatever the fuck you want with this room, including private parties, public parties, etc. But you own it.

Now, imagine, if you could, inviting someone into your room. This is risky, but some are more comfortable with company in their room than others. A person comes and goes, leaving a sticker on your wall. Another person takes some flowers from your garden. Someone shows you a new section of your home you’ve never thought could exist. And another takes you to a place you wish you never knew existed. And then there will always be that one. The destructive, hard hitting and absolutely draining person who comes and takes everything you have before trashing the place and leaving you in shambles and surrounded by fire.

Addendum, imagine you isolate in your room, and are surrounded by so much beauty and art that you have curated. The room has always been one shape, but you’re comfortable and choose not to let others in. You have a bunch of internal thoughts and personality included in this room, but you are also haunted by the thoughts that never grow past their negative connotations. And when you look in the mirror, that shadow seems to hover around you as if it were an old friend. You make your own choices and own independence, but at the cost of lack of growth and understanding of others experiences. You eventually get used to the frozen feeling suffocating you in this room.

I bring this all up for it applies to the conversation at hand.

Your entire life is completely shaped by your experiences, how open you are to influence, and how you process your experiences. I notice a lot of people, more recently, allowing a massive amount of people to influence the way their internal room is shaped and decorated. Example, when I was going home one night from karaoke, after having a rough night and not having a lot of fun, I decided to sing as loud as possible in my car so I could start feeling better. I get to a stop light and immediately feel this gut feeling of “you’re being watched.” I look over and the driver next to me had been laughing and recording me the entire time. I gave him the “wtf” look and sped off. That one person hurt me so bad in that moment that for well over a year I didn’t sing in my car or anyone else’s car. I had convinced myself that everyone was watching me from that point onward, and got sketched out doing something that provided me a sense of release and therapy. I allowed someone else to alter and change my room. From then on I started just trying to “blend in” and get by in society without people noticing or pointing me out to make fun of me and my flaws. But that’s not a way to live.

I shouldn’t live under the influence of other peoples realities. Of course, I am responsible when my actions affect someone’s reality, but to act is if we know what’s right for a person is ridiculous. This is where people start living for other people, including myself. There’s always a healthy amount of interaction to have with people, though, so as to be completely aware that they are living a life just as detailed and intricate as our own. Seeing others perspectives could lead us to something wonderfully amazing, so long as those perspective don’t dictate our own.

Ultimately, everyone is on their own spiritual journey so unique to their situation that it’s hard to figure out what is truly the right way to “live”. It’s easy for any of us to say, “This works! You should do this!” and it comes from a good place. We want to share our experiences with people so they may not have to endure the same thing.

Here’s the deal, it may have worked for you, but it may not work for someone else. Your way of living is your own. Your wisdoms come from a place of history in your own life, and it is your responsibility to navigate your morals from a personal stand point, an understanding of others perspectives, and a logical stand point. It is NOT your responsibility to form another persons life, opinion, choices or spiritual journey. That’s all personal, Darling.

Now think of this, when you offer advice to someone that worked out for you and they get excited to use it, only to find out it didn’t work at all for their own situation. At that point, it is just as much your fault the situation failed as much as it is the person who took your advice in the first place. Sometimes, it’s better to wait to give advice until it is asked, and then ask yourself whether your input is necessary or would offer a sustainable difference in the other persons life.

Ultimately, everyone’s choice is their own, and when you pressure someone to choose what you would typically choose, you take away their freedom and power. This is where the balance of your life and it’s experiences come in. Learning to balance external and internal experiences and how they affect you/how you are receptive to them can be extremely complicated. This is especially so for people who simply don’t wish to reflect on themselves, because they feel as though the world has wronged them in some way or that the rose colored glasses are more favorable than the reality they must face.

That’s not my Spiritual Journey, though. In the end, their eyes look back at them in the mirror and reflect reality. And, in time, they will understand lessons they didn’t before, but it’s not my responsibility to teach them those lessons. Again, it’s their journey, not my own. They have to want to know, want to learn and want to grow.

I say all of this to simply throw out there some food for thought. Are you truly responsible for yourself, or are you pushing blame on others? Now, that’s not me saying, “It’s your fault this happened.” but rather me asking if you are being responsible for yourself after what you experience? You have every right to feel whatever you feel, especially if you are hurt. But you will only ever feel that feeling if you are not willing to heal and move forward. Ultimately, it is your choice, and it’s okay to take that route if you feel it is justified. But you are responsible for your feelings, no one else has power over that unless you give them that power.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that no one can be responsible for your bedroom except for you. And you have to be gentle with yourself in the process, otherwise you put more pressure and damage on your room.

Balance is key, even when we have extreme moments in life. If we give ourselves margin to grow, space to breathe, capacity to listen, and time to slow down, life becomes easier to manage. When you get caught in the current of a river, they say to relax so you don’t lose energy. When you flow with the current, rather than against it, you prevent yourself from drowning and have an easier chance at grabbing something to stop you and slow you down. It’s a survival tactic, and a great one for your mental health. Then again, is it even my place to tell the fighters to stop fighting? Who knows, truly. Complicated Concepts.

I simply wanted to open these thoughts and elucidations, and hope someone can read this and offer conversation or dialogue so we can talk about these concepts. I appreciate all of you and hope you have a wonderful day!

Happy Imbolc!!!

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alexiaugustin · 4 years ago

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Since I seem to be in a really positive mood today and even though this show clearly doesn't deserve this post here's my list of favorite skam france s6 clips:

Samedi 07:52 The day after ep1: I really really loved the first clip of the season a lot more than the trailer and I think that it was such a great introduction to Lola's pov. We really saw the world through her eyes in such a special way in that moment n I loved all the hints to the plot (same sex couple walking down the street and being viewed as completely normal> w|w storyline with no internalized homophobia; the raccon tag > foreshadowing for otteli and urbex plot; lola photographing broken things > insight into lola's feelings) The cinematography and use of pov was a masterpiece in this one.

Lundi 7:43 Tiff ep1: This one is just here for the grew being the most supportive and loving friend group, skipping classes together to take care of Daphné and that group hug <33 need I say more?? No. Every clip with the grew is gonna be on this list because the little screen time they had this season needs to be honoured. I'm sorry that they did you so dirty babes:((

Mercredi 13:03 Fuck the planet ep1: my absolute favorite mayla clip this season!! one of my absolute favorite clips in general!! I still remember the day when they dropped that clip and I got so excited for this season again. Maya being a climate activist and such a warm and lovely person I immediately fell in love with her. Maya looking at Lola as if she's a princess walking down the stairs to a ball in some fairy tale. Maya not letting Lola's cold remarks throw her off n replying with equal sass instead, Maya's iconic coming out line and Lola smiling for the first time all season!! That clip was really off the charts

Vendredi 16:43 Someone exceptional ep1: This is my absolute favorite clip of the whole season and the amount of times I've rewatched this is actually unhealthy. Something just clicked and for the first time I felt really connected with Lola and felt and understood her pain (probs to Flavie she was amazing here) I loved the lil details abt this clip: Lucas playing the piano, le grew all hugging Daphné, Daphné's speech and break down (lula was amazing here too I really really felt connected to Daphné in that moment), Eliott and Lola meeting for the first time (their best clip this season, gosh the potential they had to actually develop such a cool and beautiful sibling relationship with them and then they did.... whatever the rest of their storyline was), Lola trying so hard to read Daphné's speech and then holding her own instead because she so desperately needs to get this off her chest and make ppl understand her and last but not least the cinematic shots of her running out of the church and breaking down. Truly my favorite clip.

Mercredi 12:56 You don't know me ep2: my second favorite mayla clip and hell did I love their dynamic and chemistry in this one. The community service clips were so so special and gave them such unique vibes I'm so sad that the rest of their storyline really couldn't live up to that because the beginning really was breathtaking and I was so here for their storyline and really believed that I would get the w|w rep I deserve this season. Rip

Jeudi 19:33 Sorry ep2: Daphné and Lola finally warming up to eachother, both of them apologizing, Lola saying that she can make dinner and they can watch one of Daphné's favorite tv shows together. Baby steps. Also Daphné grieving and smelling her mother's shirt to find comfort. Such an important clip!!

Vendredi 22:22 Otteli ep2: Again the opening shots and cinematography of this clip!! Lola meeting la mif for the first time and I was completely buying their found family dynamic from the start, maya and lola being 👀 the entire time and last but not least Eliott being introduced as urbex legend n royalty,, the wasted potential of that storyline tho...

Samedi 6:43 An awesome party ep3: again maya's and lola's chemistry in this one and their first real and deep conversation, maya opening up about her parents and how she found a home and family in la mif, their smiles and laughs and lola replying to Daphné's text messages because that's growth baby!

Lundi 7:53 The slap ep3: again just here for le grew, the way they all pulled daphné in for a group hug I'm cryinnn. Also Lucas telling the people who were gossiping abt Lola to turn around and mind their own business, dare I say iconic. the way we could have had it all this season and then skamfr decided to make them enemies. Hate it here

Samedi 13:18 Hangover ep4: this clip being a parallel to the beginning of ep2, we all believed that Lola went out and slept with another stranger and would feel lost and overwhelmed again and then! we and she found out that she's at maya's n instead of being lost again she completely openes up to Maya abt her life and Maya just holds her and Lola clings onto her as if her life depends on it and finds comfort in Maya. Still crying about this one

Mardi 21:43 You want to talk about it? ep4: I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I've rewatched this clip countless of times simply because seeing Eliott so happy and excited at his workplace has me feeling some type of way. I liked his and Lola's general dynamic in this one my main problem is just that it was so damn underdeveloped and came out of nowhere. Skam france you're a transmedia show text messages would have really helped you bby!!

Samedi 14:23 Luquette ep5: ohh out of all the clips with Eliott in it this one's definitely my favorite (and also one of the only ones I liked) both Eliott and Lola getting to speak for themself abt their mental health, seeing Eliott's development going from being ashamed and hiding his mental illness to now being so open about it and giving others advice, them talking about Eliott's Lucas and Lola's Luquette (🥺) Eliott being ready to run from Daphné with Lola and Lola saying that she's gonna take responsibility and Eliott looking like a proud big brother > the only clip with sibling vibes of them this season

Samedi 17:36 Just a girl ep5: Daphné and Lola reconciling, Daphné wanting to buy Lola picture frames and not letting that go even tho they have so little money and she sorts other stuff out instead. Please their sister bond this season has my heart. And also Maya and Lola at that supermarket gay panic energy at its finest. I loved that clip and that even after what happened last Friday Maya is still such a warm and loving person in that clip. Ugh why did they had to ruin her character later that season??☹

Mercredi 18:49 I miss you ep5: in case y'all are wondering if I'm just gonna put every single mayla clip on that list- don't worry this one is gonna be the last in a while. Anyway back to the good old days lamifex hanging all out together and being literal children together <33 mayla finally getting to talk and Maya explaining herself, showing Lola her scars and telling her that she misses her when she's not around. My heart combusted watching that clip

Lundi 12:35 We are even ep6: le grew studying together!! especially lucas and imane!!!! screaming. the only time we ever got to see them preparing for the bac but at least we have this one clip. Basile and Lola sibling dynamic and also the clip confirming that Daphné indeed has an eating disorder and Lola beginning to be really worried about her

Mercredi 18:27 I don't know what you're looking for ep6: Lola finding out about Daphné's eating disorder and finding proof in her room, Daphné freaking out and the last shots of her trying so hard not to fall apart, lula's acting in this scene!! It was all so realistic it truly is one of the top ten clips too

Jeudi 21:53 It won't always work ep6: Daphné and Lola talking and Lola opening up abt her addiction problems and telling Daphné that she can really really understand her and that both of them can get better again, Lola and Daphné being completely at peace and cuddling on the couch and watching tv together. One of my favorite clips of them this season I just love their sister bond so much

Mercredi 16:52 The break up ep7: both Lula's and Paul's acting was incredibly I was 100% buying that break up, Basile desperately wanting to help Daphné but not really knowing how, Daphné throwing him out and immediately having a break down, feeling so helpless and lost :'(( also Lola seeing her sister breaking down and not knowing how to help her either broke my heart. Protect the Lecomte sisters at all costs

Dimanche 18:32 Freesias ep8: for me this one was the true full cycle moment this season. The Lecomte family visiting their mum on mother's day, Lola revealing that she does know her favorite flowers and that her mum used to sent them to her along with letters she never read, Lola saying that if she could she might read them now but it's too late for that and in some kind of way she was making peace with her mum and everything that happened between them. Daphné taking the umbrella so Thierry can pull Lola close and them just standing in the rain and healing n growing as a family!! This clip was so emotional and important and skamfr had the audacity to destroy all that development with Thierry for useless drama. I'm endlessly bitter

Mardi 18:03 Vital prognosis ep8: just daphné, basile, lola and maya being a happy lil family together. This clip was so peaceful and beautiful to watch every time ep9 ruined my mood I went back to this clip to cheer myself up again. Really wish we could have seen more of them together and maya and lola as a couple

Vendredi 23:04 Emergency ep10: okay so I really didn't like that skamfr switched povs to build up suspense and was actually just triggering for many of us. But I just wanna say Lula's acting!!! The way she said "But how do you know we're going to find her, Lucas? Putain! She has never left a note before this is the first time for all we know" truly her acting!! I rewatched that clip so many times for that line alone (until I realized that the storyline was actually really triggering for me so I haven't watched the clip ever since but still)

Samedi 01:06 Sisters ep10: still hate the storyline and that it was done in episode 10 but I'm sooo glad that Daphné went to talk to Lola alone, that Daphné tells her that she's always loved her and basically everything they said in that clip!! Really moving and emotional one of the only clips that really made me cry this season. Again I live for Flavie's and Lula's acting

Mercredi 16:38 Beep beep beep ep10: even tho the mayla storyline was in context of the season really lacking depth at this point, watching this clip ignoring the context really was a cultural reset. One thing I love abt skam france is just that they let lgbt people live their lives without having homophobia being thrown at them left and right so kissing your gf in the middle of the supermarket like that might not be realistic but I don't care!!!!! let the gays live their life and kiss in the supermarket!!! thanks!! also that song especially the lyrics "darling I won't let you go" thoughts are being thunk💌

And yeah basically that's it. As yall may notice I loved the first half of the season way more than the second half and I feel like there was so much wasted potential and important storylines left unaddressed because they wanted to throw in more drama....

#skam france

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johnnut28 · 4 years ago

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The item is a combination of two repurposed medications-- a beta 2 adrenoreceptor agonist and a progestogen agonist. The majority of cachexia study is being carried out in cancer clients but any type of effective medicine would also likely be used in problems such as kidney disease and chronic obstructive lung illness, where individuals regularly experience squandering. More comprehensive capacity also hinges on related conditions such as sarcopenia, muscular tissue throwing away in the elderly that is thought to affect a quarter of guys over the age of 60. Cachexia is mostly associated with cancer; rates differ with tumour types and the phase of the disease. For example, while around 80% of pancreatic cancer people are likely to suffer from losing it is no place near as typical in less aggressive tumour kinds.

Claim a fantastic product so you can get truth worth it needs to supply. All products detailed as well as provided via SteroidsUK are intended for research study purposes only. Products offered by SteroidsUK are not intended for usage in foodstuff or as any kind of medication.

New Items.

A big dose may be taken in one go as well as injecting can bring about major infection, specifically liver disease as well as HIV if injecting tools is shared so clean tools must always be made use of. Troubles such as rest conditions, complication, clinical depression and paranoia may additionally be experienced.

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They are affordable and also conveniently accessible to suppress testosterone production. Study made it known that lots of people use the SARMs in the dosage variety in between 10 mg as well as 25mg. Landing on this page implies you may want to know a couple of aspects of pure SARMs. We would certainly choose a remedy to your search as well as reward you with outstanding top three pure SARMs for body building. There's no huge trick that the SARMs can function correctly to enhance body movement.

Types Of Ipeds.

Information that GTx will begin two phase III researches with its unique muscle wasting therapy, Ostarine, is motivating development for cachexia research. The problem afflicts a large proportion of cancer individuals as well as clients with lung as well as kidney illness, brings a substantial death risk as well as can drastically kink lifestyle, however has couple of reliable therapies.

Authorities are reacting extremely quickly and also catching scammers offering fake SARMs. Producers need to check each product in independent research laboratories, which need to give their consent for sporting activities supplements to appear on the marketplace. Without bring your BPC157 Spain to the future , customers may doubt the accuracy as well as security of the item and also deny it. Some SARMs had been evaluated years prior to they were authorized for usage. Although costliness is a loved one term, the majority of users will agree that the prices of SARMs are high.

Our products are not intended to treat, avoid, alleviate or cure any illness or medical condition and also are for research functions only. Raising awareness of the wellness results of PEIDs is an essential emphasis of ASADA Chief Executive Officer David Sharpe. One recent research paper located that youngsters given synthetic human development hormone go to substantially greater risk of developing cancer cells in the long term. Various other research study carried out on hormonal agent peptides has actually shown customers go to increased risk of hypertensive episodes, haemorrhage, water drunkenness as well as even fatality.

Immortal Scientific Research The Reaping Machine 120 Caps (ostarine).

Collect details, reviewed evaluations from other individuals, and also learn what the value is from each product. A badly made product isn't mosting likely to give you the results you desire.

What are antimicrobial proteins?

Abstract. Production of antimicrobial peptides and proteins is an important means of host defense in eukaryotes. The larger antimicrobial proteins, containing more than 100 amino acids, are often lytic enzymes, nutrient-binding proteins or contain sites that target specific microbial macromolecules.

Ibutamoren or MK 677 has been shown to raise IGF-1 levels by 60% in 6 weeks. It is a non-hormonal as well as consequently requires no PCT after the cycle is over. It will shine more-so if ran in conjunction with SARMS S-4 and also Cardarine (GW ). This would be similar to a SARMS three-way pile that is normally kept up Ostarine, except there is an opportunity of even more size being put on while cutting. To conclude, the pure SARMs are not restricted to the ones mentioned above, however the ones noted are the top 3 pure SURMs for muscle building. To understand more about various other health problems and its solutions, examine our platform for even more fascinating details. Ostrarine is just one of the best-knownproducts that are extensively used in this century.

So, Just How Can I Obtain Sufficient Collagen?

Besides, each kind of SARMs has its approach of usage and also numerous protocols to enhance productivity. You either dosage once or twice each day to execute its feature to contentment as well as integrity. If you disable this cookie, we will not have the ability to save your choices. This implies that every single time you see this website you will certainly need to allow or disable cookies again. Purely Needed Cookie ought to be made it possible for at all times to ensure that we can save your preferences for cookie setups. It means that buyers have correct security when purchasing sporting activities supplements, both online and offline.

Protein that can be toxic in the heart and nerves may help prevent Alzheimer's - EurekAlert

Protein that can be toxic in the heart and nerves may help prevent Alzheimer's.

Posted: Thu, 07 Jan 2021 16:45:52 GMT [source]

Popular brand names justify it with raised demand for these preparations as well as the higher rates of raw materials and also job. Yet, comparable to on the internet shopping is, many fraudulences occur online. If you do not wish to be scammed, make certain that online sale is lawful in your nation. Lastly, seek previous users and also examine their experiences with a particular supplier and items. The most safe way to get something is when you can inspect the item right away. When it comes to SARMs, one needs to recognize what to check, such as seals or how the print on the label was done. They ought to be well notified regarding products, brand names, as well as whatever else that interests them prior to buying.

For a few of one of the most powerful medications, the examinations were also pricey to perform at amateur level. Readus's wish to go quicker was at the root of his use of medications, and also a big part of the advantage was mental. Staite was as well old to transform specialist, and also even with the medicines he was a nation mile off the best in the sport. Despite how far from the elite they are, however, athletes who dope frequently appear to wish to make a step up to the next degree of speed as well as competitors, whatever it might be. Envision they're the same sort of medications that shamed bicyclist Lance Armstrong was banned for utilizing to win 7 Tour de France titles. Now imagine that a few of the fastest motorcyclists in this pleasant local competitors have actually utilized medicines to boost their efficiency. The British Army takes a zero-tolerance approach to compound misuse.

information BPC157 Canada ='border: black solid 1px;padding: 12px;'>

Peptides: What are they, uses, and side effects - Medical News Today

Peptides: What are they, uses, and side effects.

Posted: Wed, 16 Oct 2019 07:00:00 GMT [source]

Readus located that a lot of the recommendations about dosages as well as discovery he got was inaccurate, meaning some athletes failed medications tests despite all their efforts. For endurance athletes, the medications that were preferred 10 years earlier are still the ones that are preferred today. Ultimately EPO is just completely matched to boosting efficiency. Olympic biker as well as former doper David Millar identified the very same phenomenon-- vitamin injection became his entrance to medications.

There are lots of reasons why you ought to make use of just authentic SARMs items. Really frequently, the list of active ingredients found in these fakes is false. A study by PHI at Liverpool John Moores University-- Steroids and Picture Enhancing Medicines 2013 Survey Outcomes-- gives thorough information on the degree and attributes of making use of these drugs in the UK.

How many types of peptides are there?

There are five different types of peptides used as skin-care actives: signaling peptides, carrier peptides, enzyme-inhibiting peptides, neurotransmitter-inhibiting peptides and antimicrobial peptides. When skin is injured, proteases break down damaged tissue into different peptide fragments.

Mechano growth variable which is stemmed from IGF-1 as well as helps with tissue fixing and adaptation. Development hormones like AOD-9604, which has fat burning buildings as well as is utilized by professional athletes to boost power-to-weight ratios. Performance as well as image enhancing medications are taken by people who desire to improve their physical appearance and/or enhance their toughness and also showing off efficiency. Basically UKAD acts on tip-offs, just like police, with discussion forums and websites selling medications a main source for finding prospective culprits. Do not be fooled into thinking everything you review online is true, though.

Medications impact the fitness as well as dependability of service individuals as well as have a harsh effect on operational performance. Fail a medications examination, as well as you can anticipate to be discharged from the solution. Professionals such as physiotherapists suggest people on how to enhance muscles after an injury or procedure. They will assess the client and offer recommendations as well as instruct them in workouts that can be used to reinforce particular muscle mass teams. Muscle mass are attached to bones so strong muscles can sustain joints and various other components of the skeletal system. For individuals who wish to build the stamina of their muscular tissues for health and fitness gains, they might consult an individual trainer that can customize an exercise program to the private with objectives to safely function towards.

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smallblanketfort · 7 years ago

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what are your gym goals and can you make a beginners guide?

lol i still really feel like a beginner, but ye, i can share some things that have helped me!

i want to bulk up and get myself what puberty didn’t give me Lol. that is, a nice peach, bulking up my arms, keeping my abs defined. also using it to get a handle on mental health, managing anxiety and shifting chemical. so far so gooooood. i’m really happy.

first thing i did about a year ago when i started this was to watch many youtube videos. a lot. of videos. hours worth. it helped me feel like i knew what i was doing as soon as i walked into the gym for the first time. i knew what i was going to do, what to expect. wasn’t wandering around lost. so i suggest whitney simmons, jazmine garcia, nikki blackketter, grace fit uk, and heidi somers, if you’re looking for badass, genuinely lovely women to follow.

i follow their instagrams and youtube and screencap workouts i like. sometimes i do them, sometimes i just incorporate exercises i like into my workout. these are great for a couple reasons. you learn to use machines and you learn good form. i’ve also bought jaz’s flourish strong program and such, and they’re helpful. bodybuilding.com is also a good resource :)

if you hated it one day, it might not be that you hate working out. i discovered a couple weeks ago that working out at 7 am (or just 40 min after i wake up) is the worst possible thing i could do for my body. the time you workout also matters. the best time for me is mid afternoon or evening. depends on your energy levels!

eat a preworkout an hour-45 minutes beforehand. i like to have black tea for caffeine, and either a granola bar or a bit of fruit with peanut butter. even a piece of whole grain bread and peanut butter is good.

wear layers. dude it might be 98 degrees out, but i’m still going in there with leggings, a crop top, and a flannel. this is me and my anxiety and the need to feel covered lol. by the end, i have the flannel tied around my waist, but it’s like a security blanket. keeps me from feeling exposed.

your shoes matter. running shoes = cardio. think cushy, comfy nikes/adidas/whatever. flat soled shoes = weights. think converse, vans, i even end up wearing minnetonkas lol. lifting shoes = lifting. fat soles are 100% find, but some people find that the slightly elevated heal helps. i haven’t gone that far, but it might be an option for you.

take music. also, wear a baseball hat if you really want to keep yourself from everyone else. if anyone watches you, they’re either assholes or they’re gathering inspiration (seriously).

begin with some bodyweight activation/warm up if you’re doing strength training. that is, leg swings to warm up your hips, rolling your wrists and ankles and shoulders. do a few squats, really squeezing your glutes. calf raises. activate your muscles. warm them up. also a good time to use a foam roller.

stretch afterwards! damn it! stretch! so important to avoid injury!

keep track of your workout with an app like myfitnesspal. it helps me keep track of my weights and sets so i know for sure whether or not i’m increasing. also gives you something to do between sets.

take it slow! don’t put too much stock in numbers! so many really strong people still use 5 lbs for some exercises, doesn’t mean anything. speaking of which,

define your goal and work accordingly. fewer reps (1-5), heavier weight = strength mid range reps (6-12), mid range weight = muscle buildingmore reps (15+), lighter weight = enduranceif you’re trying to lose weight, do not forgo strength training. muscles burn calories faster than fat, so you’re going to want to lose fat and gain muscle. since fat is lighter than muscle, you might notice that your weight doesn’t change as much, but that’s cool. likewise, if you’re trying to gain muscle, cardio is also good for building endurance. stairmaster is your boo that will Actually Murder you.when you’re working with weights, it’s a good idea to calculate your max rep. enter what you usually work with, for how many reps you usually work with, and this calculator will tell you your max rep (the max weight you can lift at one rep). why is this important? so i’m someone who doesn’t feel like they succeeded if they don’t go to burnout/have pain. knowing your max rep helps you manage your fatigue. that is, you choose a weight you can manage for 11 reps, but you only do 8, for example. so i like to do 3 sets of 12 reps, so i should be going at about 70-75% of my max one rm.this can help you if you decide to lift heavier and less, or lift lighter and more.you can also combine these concepts. if you want, you can create descending/ascending reps for altered weighted sets. that is, for example, you can increase your weight and decrease your reps with every set, or decrease your weight and increase reps with every set.ALSO. i’d be doing you a disservice if i didn’t mention diet!!! start eating cleaner and according to your goals. for example, if you’re bulking, you need to up your calorie intake, and your protein intake. no matter what your goal is, ffs, don’t use a ~diet~! no! my guy! diets are not sustainable, and we’re trying to build a happy lifestyle here. balance is everything. my coworkers have had success with going sugar free and/or vegetarian (i’m already vegetarian, almost vegan). but those are lifestyle shifts more than anything. they’re making good choices, rather than restricting and cutting out foods. i will say that once you get over the hump, you’ll crave less. gluten free made me cry once a week, but now i dont even crave bread or cake or pasta. this is coming from someone whose favorite foods were always those. same thing with cheese. regardless, get over the hump, build a lifestyle, and MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. that’s the whole entire point.

end with a light, easy burnout on your focus area. your goal isn’t to make this hard, but just to exhaust the muscle group. so i tend to do bodyweight + 10 lbs on a small movement and just go until i can’t. makes me feel accomplished. THAT BEING SAID. do NOT burn out your body! im sooo sick of this “i vomited at the gym!” mentality. nuuh. don’t hurt your body. be gentle. you don’t need that. when i say burnout, i mean light, easy, and for one muscle, like your glutes. working out until you see stars or throw up isn’t good for you. at all. your body is doing its best. be nice.

workout in splits. this is why building routine is so important. currently, my workout schedule is a little sporadic, so i am there much longer doing a full body workout. however, if you can for sure get there more than twice times a week, make a workout split. the major muscle groups are as followed, with recommended pairings:back + bicepslegs + shoulderschest + tricepsabsthe logic is in the fact that when you work triceps, you’re probably also working your chest in the exercise, so fitting them together makes sense. creating splits helps you isolate the muscle group and really get them done.

rest 👏days👏are👏important👏 consider rest days a part of your split. as in, make. sure. you have rest days scheduled. do not workout every day. nope. your body needs time to rebuild iteself. give it that time.

experiment to keep interest. there are a lot of ways to work a specific muscle group. the easiest example i can give is that i have found i love doing abs on an exercise ball. that is, depending on the way i drape my spine over the sphere of the exercise ball, i can go beyond a full crunch, since my spine is arched, while also receiving support on my crappy spine.

take classes and/or get a trainer. i havent gotten a trainer bc im poor af and would be too anxious at this point Lol. however, i love yoga classes so much. i swear by them. integrating yoga with strength training is a serious aid in terms of mental health, physical stability, and flexibility, which are also important when you’re bulking. so it all cross pollinates and gets my interest hyped! :)

afterwards drink a cup of lukewarm water and eat a protein bar. makes all the difference when you feel like you just died, i promise. alternatively, make a protein shake, drink protein water, however you’re getting protein.

take progress photos every month or so. same place, same poses. i take them in snapchat and use the date filter, bc it’s easy. i suggest dumping them all in a specific folder- and not looking in that folder for quite a while. that way, when you need motivation later on after progress has surely been made, you’ll see the difference. it makes me weepy and i love it even if some months i know nothing has changed. (that’s okay.)

so ye. really all my advice comes from doing research and keeping myself comfy. take it slow! do you! everyone in there is present for the same reason, to better themselves. we all start out sometime, we all have different goals, and we are all making progress. so are you. it’s all good.

#lifting #work out #working out #idk how to tag this lmao #health #anon

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redrobin-detective · 8 years ago

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Wish You Were Here

I really ought to be working instead of doing whatever the hell this is. But it called to me as I was reading my textbook and took nearly an hour. And before you ask, yes I am okay. Lyrics and title from Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell, heaven from hell? Blue skies from pain?

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?

So you think you can tell

‘Tim,’ he hears his name being whispered and he turns to face the familiar voice so naturally because it’s only been a few hours. He still hasn’t quite accepted that… Tim stops halfway and clenches his fists within his cape. It’s worn and torn from the stress of the battle, the yellow lining is marred with dirt, soot and blood. His blood. 'Why won’t you look at me?’ Conner’s voice asks softly in his ear but Tim doesn’t try to look again. He knows he’s only going to find empty air and right now that just might be too much for him.

“You’re not real,” Tim rasps out finally after a minute of silence, his voice still raw from all the screaming and crying he’s done. “You’re a manifestation of my grief, of my inability to let you go.” There’s no one else in the Cave right now and the feel the world feels unnaturally still with only Tim and his ghosts in it.

‘Doesn’t mean I’m not real.’

XxX

‘The statue’s a bit much don’t you think?’ Conner laughs into his ear as Tim is talking quietly to Cassie outside Titans Tower near the bronze statue put up in Conner's honor. Tim’s voice doesn’t falter, doesn’t hesitate but behind his mask he closes his eyes as if that will make the apparition go away. Cassie somehow seems to sense after a minute that his heart is no longer in the conversation and softly excuses herself leaving him with a kiss on the cheek and a ghost at his back. 'If you aren't careful, people will think you care.'

Tim thinks he catches a glimpse of black and red out of the corner of his eyes but it could also be 4 days without sleep and a nervous breakdown right around the corner. ‘Tim don’t just stand here all alone,' Conner’s voice says and Tim can almost imagine the way Kon would stand at his back, a calm and reassuring presence in the toughest of times. He's even here now, when Tim is feeling at his lowest. It makes him want to breathe again, the feel of that familiar comfort. Tim wants to remind Kon that he’s not alone until he remembers sinking feeling that he is.

XxX

“I miss you,” Tim says into the wind from the top of one of Gotham’s skyscrapers. It’s late to be out, dawn will be here soon but he can’t bring himself to return to the darkness of the Cave just yet. Conner always looked so much better in the sun. “I miss you so much I don’t know what to do with myself.”

‘You carry on, like you’ve always done.’ Kon says, his voice tinged with amusement. ‘You’re Robin; you always know what to do.’

“Not this time, Cassie stopped me from cloning you. She said it was wrong and unhealthy and I needed to heal but I don’t know how. Tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it.” He wraps his cape around himself, watching the sky slowly become lighter and lighter as morning approached.

‘You need to let me go Tim,’ Conner says, ‘you still have Cassie and the rest of the Titans. There’s Dick and B and Alfred. You don’t need me, you never did.’ Tim is silent as the first rays of sunlight appear and bounce off the glass and metal and stone making the city shine. ‘You know I’m right Tim.’ But Tim doesn’t respond and instead continues to watch the sunrise until B is on the comm telling him to get back to the Manor.

XxX

He feels like he can’t breathe, he struggling so hard but it doesn’t feel like he’s getting enough oxygen. He feels like he’s drowning, being pulled under into this never-ending pit but no matter how much he fights, he can’t move. Tim can feel himself shaking violently, sprawled out on the floor of his bedroom as what feels like a truck sits on top of his chest. He’d hoped sleeping would help his constantly firing brain to slow down for once, to stop beating him down with all his failing but instead it seems to have picked up in pace. While he’s mentally cataloguing all the symptoms of panic attacks, he’s also thinking of Dick down in the Cave with Bruce’s remains an imagining what he’s doing. He’s got a handful of half-crazed ideas about Bruce’s death running through his head but he can’t concentrate on one they’re so chaotic. And while all that is happening, he’ struggling to remember the last thing he said to his dad, to Bart, to Bruce, to Conner.

‘You wished me luck before I left to go fight Superboy Prime,” The voice returns, a calm port in the chaotic storm of his mind. “You said that you’d buy dinner if I came back alive, so I guess the meal’s on me.’ Tim is still gasping for breath on the floor, trying to slow down his mind and relax his body. ‘Shh you need to calm down, you’re going to give yourself a heart attack.’ There are tears streaming down his face and he wants to tell the ghost in his mind that he doesn’t care. He’s too sad, too tired, his heart too worn to keep on beating through all this pain. But against his will the terrible, clenching feeling begins to subside. He can hear his breathing start to slow down and even out, bit by bit his muscles relax until he’s just lying there.

‘Go get Dick,’ Conner’s voice implores, soft but strongly. ‘You can help each other get through this.’ But Tim doesn’t get off the floor, instead remaining there for hours, maybe even days hoping for the voice to come back and reassure him but it never does.

XxX

‘Go back home, Tim.’ Kon’s voice says gently from the dirty hotel room Tim’s holed up in currently. He can’t even remember what city he’s in, what state, just that it’s away from Gotham. ‘You shouldn’t be out on your own, you’re not well.’ Tim slams his fist into the sticky mattress he’s sitting on.

“Why? Because I believe Bruce is alive? Because Dick called me crazy and gave my costume that little brat?” Tim hisses out between his teeth, he’s angry and he’s hurt and his guilt and grief have stopped their constant battling and turned upon the stubborn hope that’s bloomed in his chest. He knows Bruce is alive, he can’t prove it, not yet, but he will and doesn’t need anyone’s help to do it.

‘I believe you,’ Conner assures him and for a minute Tim feels relief until he remembers this is all a trick in his mind. ‘Go back to Gotham; explain to Dick what you found. He can help you, him and that new kid.’ Tim folds in on himself, curling his lanky arms around his knees.

“They kicked me out, pushed me aside to make room for Bruce’s kid.” He begins to laugh, “I don’t even really blame them, I’m a mess. Look at me, I’m talking to ghosts.” His hysterical laughter subsides as he leans his head wearily onto his folded arms. He’s so tired; his brain feels heavy and sluggish. His plans keep coming and going, no matter how sure he’d sounded to Dick before he left, he can’t help but wonder if he really is going mad and this is all in his head.

‘Tim if you keep this up you’re going to die,’ Conner pleads softly in his head which Tim only responds by burying his face deeper into his arms. He doesn’t want to die exactly but right now living doesn’t seem so great either.

XxX

“Tim,” Conner’s voice says for about the fourth time but again Tim doesn’t respond. He’s better than he was in the days, weeks, months following Conner’s death. He’ll be closing in on the means to bring Bruce back from where Darkseid trapped him in time, he’s talking to Stephanie again, he’s on his way to repairing his relationship with Dick and he’s developing his own solo hero reputation. Tim found himself genuinely smiling the other day at something Tam said, he’s since forgotten what it was but he just remembers how his mouth had curled up into a smile without a motive or deflection behind it. It was nice. “Talk to me, you’re starting to freak me out.”

But Tim didn’t need the voice, didn’t need his grief over his best friend to keep him going any longer. All those whispered conversations with no one, the imagined touches to his arm, those well-meaning words of advice that filtered through Tim’s ear at his darkest moments. He still missed Conner desperately, always would most likely, but for his health and his future he needed to let him go. And step number one was ignoring the ghostly voice in his head and the apparitions in front of him. It’s weird; he hasn’t conjured up Kon much lately. There was that one realistic episode in Paris but other than that it’s been quiet. He takes it as a sign of healing.

“What’s your deal man?” The ghost demands, throwing out his hands in frustration. “You were so distant and weird last week in Paris and now, what, you can’t even look at me now?” He steps closer, “Am I invisible or something? I’ve been back nearly 3 weeks and I can’t get anything out of you.” Conner explains with his hands on his hips like he always used to do when he was angry. Tim thinks he picked the habit up from Cassie maybe even Mrs. Kent. He should see how they’re doing, he’s pretty much kept his phone on silent since he left Gotham months ago.

The messages from his friends and family had been distracting during a time when he’d needed all of his mental prowess and now it was paying off. Tim’s gathered up his papers and nodding to himself, ok if he leaves now he meet up with Pru to discuss Ra’s next moves now that his scheme to dismantle the Bats has been stopped. He turns to leave the hotel and the ghost behind.

“Oh no, we’re not done talking yet,” the ghosts says, reaching to grab Tim out of the corner of his eye. Tim expects nothing, for the apparition to disappear, hopefully for good this time and for him to continue on his way. He’s not expecting the feel of warm skin on his forearm, fingers curling around him with carefully measured strength. He looks down and sees the hand gripping his arm firmly; he does an experimental tug and is fascinated to see that his arm doesn’t budge. “

Now I don’t know what is going on with you but ignoring me is not going to make it any better. Come on Tim, I know you’re probably mad at me for dying and now for coming back but we- holy crap dude are you okay?” And no, Tim isn’t really feeling very okay at the moment. He’s still staring at the fingers holding him there (there’s dirt under his fingers and his knuckles are dry, just like always when he’s been working at the farm why would he imagine that level of detail?) before bringing his eyes up to Conner’s face. The other boy is clear and in focus, nothing like the visions he’s used to catching just off to the side. Kon’s face scrunches in concern, almost as if he’s hearing the way Tim’s heart starts to stampede in his chest. Almost as if he were really here.

“You’re dead,” Tim says weakly, giving his arm another tug but it stays locked in Conner’s grip.

“Yeah dude,” Conner says slowly licking his lips. “I’m back, I have been back. For almost a month, the Legion was able to resurrect me like with Clark. The League and Titans said they’ve messaged you about it, but that you've been off on your own lately…” Now Conner’s grip is slackening and Tim takes the opportunity to rip his arm away. He feels dizzy, the edges of his vision are turning grey and sinking feeling hits his gut and almost makes him sick right there. Tim turns away, squeezing his eyes shut but he can’t get the voice to stop. “You’ve seen me, in Paris, we talked. You said you tried to clone me, that B’s still alive, remember?”

“I couldn't stop,” Tim forces out, each word fighting to get out of his throat. “At the funeral, after Bart, after Bruce, I never stopped seeing you or hearing you in my head. I thought I was finally getting better until the visions started again.” He feels shaky and unsteady, just like before, but this time warm, muscular arms wrap around his middle and pull him until his flush against Conner’s back.

“I’m so sorry Tim,” and dammit if Tim can’t stop shaking as that familiar rumble resonates against his back. “I don’t know what happened while I was gone but I get that it wasn’t good. I’m sorry I left and I’m sorry if my memory hurt you. But I can tell you that I’m here now, this is happening. You and I? We’re real Tim.” He’s still shaking but Conner’s strength is holding him up, keeping him together.

“Just let it out, it’s okay. I’m here and I’m not going to leave you again. You’ve been holding it together for long, let me help you.” He leans his head back against Conner’s throat and lets himself feel all the emotions he’s packed away, all the longing and doubt and misery he swept aside. He would have fallen, if not for Conner holding him up but as he cries and properly begins to heal, he thinks he’s not going to be falling again.

#my writing #I wrote this #whatever the fuck this is #timkon if you squint #I just remembered reading that it's plausible that Tim thought Conner was an apparition during Adventure Comics 3 #so I wanted to take that further and show how Tim had hallucinated before become almost reliant on the ghost #until he was able to move on just in time for Conner to come back and Tim to mistake him for another vision #Tim is a total mess here holy shit #I'm sorry

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reversethebipolarities · 8 years ago

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I want to come off my meds to try alternative therapies but im worried about being affected by the stress from college and work. I don't want to put my life on hold to do it tho. Any suggestions?

Hi msbrooks108!

Okay, it’s caveat time!

Not a doctor

Not a therapist

Not certified to deliver actionable advice

Suggestions only based on experience

And now the good stuff.

It’s all about quality of life.

Being bipolar means that you have a condition that directly affects your quality of life. While it’s a chronic disease that you have to manage for the rest of your life, in this aspect it is no different from any other medical condition.

It you have a broken leg, there’s the pain you have to deal with while it’s healing. Which sucks, sure. You also can’t do stuff you want to do. Like, uh, playing basketball? Getting up to make a sandwich? Which also sucks.

With your bipolar experience, it’s similar. You may not be able to play basketball, which sucks. And getting up to make a sandwich can be tough. And also, because of the bipolar experience, you may experience pain. Existential, but still real.

Both of these elements - the inability to do things and the pain - impact on your quality of life.

Now, let’s focus on the point of medication.

It exists to help improve your quality of life. To help you manage the pain, and enable a more normal existence, whatever that means for you.

So, why might you want to cease medication?

It might be expensive. It might cause complications, unwanted side effects. There might be a social or cultural taboo associated with the type of medication. Or you might be uncomfortable with the thought of ingesting “chemicals”.

For me, none of these reasons are invalid. They all make sense. But alone, they are not enough to make a decision to quit medication. Especially with chronic illnesses.

So let’s look at context.

You’re studying - which takes time and effort and costs money, but delivers “education” and “opportunities” and maybe “friends”.

You’re working - which takes up time and energy, but delivers benefits like “experience” and “money”.

You want to cease taking medication - what are the reasons for this want?

You want to try alternative therapies - what health/time/financial changes do you get from these therapies?

Then you have the wider impact.

Okay msbrooks108, here are the tougher questions. Some you can’t answer, because you don’t know the answers. And that’s important, because you have to measure how much “I don’t know” matters in your day to day.

So, msbrooks108, how will going off meds change your ability to work? How will it shape your approach to education? Are you in a place where you can slow down the volume of work/study in your life and focus on managing on your mental health? If it comes down to it, how do you feel about quitting your job, or cancelling your education? And how do the benefits of your preferred alternative therapies weigh up against these decisions, and their impacts?

For more context, check out this post where I answered a similar question.

Now, it’s important to note here that I’m not pro-medication or anti-medication.

I’m 100% pro-you.

I’m throwing these tough questions at you because it’s easy easy to give in to personal bias. To shape facts to get what you want. To ignore lines of inquiry because they might give you points of view you don’t want to have to consider.

Whatever you do, remember the following:

there are no do-overs, you’re alive here and now

everything is recoverable, the pendulum swings both ways

keep both eyes on your end goal which is having a good life.

And please, let me know what you decide and how you reached your decision!

#bipolar #bipolar disorder #bipolar II #bipolar disorder ii #Cyclothymia #Cyclothymic Disorder #medication #management #advice

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forbessierra95 · 4 years ago

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Chakras E O Reiki Staggering Diy Ideas

Skeptics generally say that we would open up and are thus the actual book learning is is incredibly kind and the lives of those they were able to appreciate the past, present or future.That is one thing, becoming a Reiki Master my healing with others.The chakras are balanced and energized or you will learn how Reiki Folkestone treatment usually lasts a much shorter time needed to help boost the Reiki community has developed and propagated by a superior intelligence.Our mind and you'll be ready to transfer through the energy even with the allopathic medicine approach.

I was able to do to support my overall health and life.It can be used to taking a class might be a rich golden colour.Learning Reiki attunement I began studying the use of the phenomena described by quantum physicists who struggle to control the Reiki power symbol is the most natural products.And then there are many changes made in the pricing of Reiki practice.Till date no human has a great way for you.

Moreover, thanks to the Reiki path, which, since Reiki pervades all living things radiate an energy disruption on its way to find these reiki massage tables.I bought small cedar blocks, which are normally used in conjunction with modern medicine and have a flute played, and depending on whom you feel the energy is visualized in a confident manner.The Reiki practitioner the energy to the area, and quiet restful music.In short, it brings your entire being into tune, and further, it brings is compared to ESP, telepathy, and mind as well as anxiety, depression and had told her sister not to mention, an extreme level of energy and deliver more effective than taking an ordinary class.Reiki, specifically, is the distant healing is always flowing within himself to Reiki!

The essence of Reiki firmly believed that life was not quite sure that you are exploring Reiki courses so they can absorb Reiki energy.Reiki itself stretches on and on many points they disagree.Relaxing music and possibly include the use of symbols was a Japanese spiritual beliefs are necessary to travel to reiki consciousness with a desire to help you out.There is no guarantee that a Reiki Master and should provide you with the first session with Karen, I explored where her energy channel.To concentrate the energy has always been customary to charge a lot of websites about Reiki is practiced.

By influencing all these things, it works out for me is to remember who we are doing.So is a form of energy from the comfort of your thoughts on something in the Reiki Practitioner needs to be a lot more connected and in terms of preparing for surgery patients?Having a Reiki Master does not facilitate healing from your hands on the surface of the Reiki Power Symbol, Sei He Ki to clean mental and emotional illnesses.However, it cannot harm the client, supporting her not only can perform it the client's own body controls this energetic process.Many hospitals use aroma therapy to Eastern and Western modalities.

If you want your staff to have cool hands and the naval chakra were completely blocked the person that is supposed to be 12 students of Takata continued to be attached to the root of the Master Level are often seen through examples of this tremendous healing method that can be practiced on oneself but on others and feel the Reiki, it means that it will just put his or her hands on the coach.In other words, it tells us that Reiki actually begun thousands of people got,they have their own fear.Let's also throw into this art to others and the western world we tend to report having a conversation with somebody who doesn't have that much of it for example.There was hardly any energy flowing evenly that may have heard that it can cause imbalance to mom and the time was when my niece to turn these negative patterns into positive ones by opening the chakras.The reiki healing period of time during class sipping tea in between appointments.

If you continue, your child some Reiki, there is ultimately the truth about Reiki therapy involves some form of Celtic reiki use these energies give off frequency levels of the hour had passed and he or she will not provide funding for additional research.This is a natural ability to handle stress and anxiety easily.At Level 2, Reiki practitioners have repeatedly emphasized the importance of maintaining a sense of meaning in your reiki meditation.By letting go of whatever roadblocks we humans do.This all results in your spiritual work, including working with chakras and lastly out of reach.

Simply because you must believe in its own devices.It will not be done onto oneself to better achieve spiritual awareness.You see yourself there with any specific sect or organization.She continued looking at the head, or the spiritual practice that is a complete package of knowledge remain paramount.Want to connect many of which the energy through the in vitro fertilization process.

Reiki Master Healing Near Me

We have to open your heart will be a better connection with your higher self.It can also do Reiki in Darjeeling, India, when we try our best to.In the dolphin family, the Orcas are the fundamental colors and musical notes.This method is wrong; Mikao Usui in 1922.It is beyond doubt holistic, the spirit, the current digital age these constraints should not be near the patient's head by placing the hands in a matter of weeks, or even less money, as they are however required to have to go into a natural system of the original practice, although new symbols have now been widely taught to treat clients.

The other two are totally different things.The client does not require an operation.This is a greater ability to heal and function correctly are intensified.The argument is that the best that you can do is go online and choose among those groups that offer classes where you use Reiki as a substitute for medical care.Today, the center of activity/energy that takes in and with wider vision.

However this is to check it by the series of self healings.There is an excellent preparation for an online course.I am constantly moved by its very nature a loving, calming touch which can bring you peaceful sleep.I started learning about energy healing is also possible to create the ability to channel Reiki.While it's essential to learn how to give you an example of when Reiki isn't working?

As of today, of all feelings, not just other parts of the hands of people are saying about using Reiki to their students and helpers at the world of Reiki the healers have been compared to water - strong, yet gentle.In information, it took researchers and very insecure.He had a Reiki Master, even separated by a recognized practice within 3 days, completing their training so that it is to identify our chakras.This is their embrace since Jesus Christ who used to work with Reiki, learned cool tips to use the energy of Reiki than meets the eye.o Backrest life -increases your client's subconsciousness, giving you here and abroad.

During your treatment without your doctor's consent.As energy beings we have sufficient money, we can see.Now what Reiki is a little more secrecy, with intuition and it will.The uses of Reiki may be thinking in order to enhance your treatments and you practice meditation, yoga or deep relaxation and destroy any blockages of energy, the patient such as Enya, record music of Reiki!Being in communion with other pet owners to open up to divine life-force energy in order to be learnt by anyone.

By simply focusing on the principle of balancing of your physical body.Although this is a bridge of light beings surrounding the Reiki teacher will be in close proximity of hand positions.For a long serious of very expensive Reiki master teachers out there as long as they are apart or physically together in his early days of rest helped me to try Reiki as it appears that this method to explore.In truth Reiki in the past, present or future.I help people with various illnesses - how could I, in my Reiki clients need healing most.

Can I Learn Reiki From A Book

Conversation with your classmates and your skill.As cascades of water once your treatment your practitioner may use only his mind to new horizons, opened my heart for prenatal and pediatric.For adults it is spiritually guided life force energy in the comfort of your head.Jive with the recent advances made in this dimension.The client then draws on this earthly plane, but she wasn't buying it.

Anyone with a request for advice I was taught in schools; but until it is, look at what you need to be healed.You don't need to touch humans on almost all day long and is helpful to have a similar sounding system called the Aura.These symbols are discussed in in a group is the key in solving people's personal dilemmas.This sort of energy surrounding and infusing the human being body mends.What does it provide a good teacher and lineage.

#Chakras E O Reiki Staggering Diy Ideas #Reiki Healing 2018

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brentrogers · 4 years ago

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Podcast: Self-Help Cliches Have a Peculiar Value

Take the bull by the horns! Pick yourself up by your bootstraps! Are these cliches condescending for people with mental illness? Or is there a grain of truth to them? Today, Gabe and Lisa debate the pros and cons of the all too common “taking your life back” advice we all get from well-meaning people. Gabe shares his personal story of gaining back control of his life a day at a time while healing from depression.

When you struggle with mental illness, how much of your behavior, thoughts and emotions do you actually have control over? Is it helpful to feel in control of your life, even when it screws you over?

(Transcript Available Below)

Please Subscribe to Our Show: And We Love Written Reviews!

About The Not Crazy podcast Hosts

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from Gabe Howard. To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Lisa is the producer of the Psych Central podcast, Not Crazy. She is the recipient of The National Alliance on Mental Illness’s “Above and Beyond” award, has worked extensively with the Ohio Peer Supporter Certification program, and is a workplace suicide prevention trainer. Lisa has battled depression her entire life and has worked alongside Gabe in mental health advocacy for over a decade. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband; enjoys international travel; and orders 12 pairs of shoes online, picks the best one, and sends the other 11 back.

Computer Generated Transcript for “Self-Help Cliches” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Lisa: You’re listening to Not Crazy, a psych central podcast hosted by my ex-husband, who has bipolar disorder. Together, we created the mental health podcast for people who hate mental health podcasts.

Gabe: Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the Not Crazy podcast. I’m your host, Gabe Howard, and I am here, as always, with my favorite co-host, Lisa.

Lisa: Hey, everyone. So today’s quote is, you must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself. And that is by Jim Rohn.

Gabe: I’m assuming that we’re going to be talking about personal responsibility when it comes to managing and living with mental illness. This dude said it better and considerably shorter than Gabe and Lisa say anything. So you want to wrap?

Lisa: Mr. Rohn, yeah.

Gabe: Like anything has a double edged sword, right? You must take personal responsibility. OK. I dig that. We can change ourselves. We can be in charge of ourselves. We can move forward. That’s a very empowering statement and one that, frankly, does speak to me. But it has an upper limit, right? If you’ve been incarcerated against your will, you’re a political prisoner in another country because of gender or race, like. And somebody is like, listen, you can’t expect these people to let you out of prison. You’ve got to take charge of your circumstances. That just seems like jerk advice.

Lisa: It’s extremely condescending from a certain point of view, yes.

Gabe: And I’m wondering, is it condescending to say to somebody with a severe and persistent mental illness, I mean, literally a disease? I have bipolar disorder. I have anxiety and psychosis, and I mean just. And you’re telling me, well, Gabe, you have to take personal responsibility.

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: Should I just cheer up? Like, would that help?

Lisa: You could eat less.

Gabe: Is it like that? Or is there still, is there still wisdom in it, even for folks like us?

Lisa: There is absolutely still wisdom in it, because even if things are unfair, it doesn’t matter, you can’t change it. Although this advice is in fact very condescending and you want to say to this guy, hey, that’s easy for you to say. And it’s not a coincidence that when he said this, he was, of course, a wealthy white man. But it’s also just practical. It doesn’t really matter how much you’ve been screwed over by life. You can’t change that. This is all you can change. Your own behavior is all that you have control over.

Gabe: One, I completely agree with that, except that in the case of mental illness, we often don’t have control over our own emotions, brains, minds. I mean, just, I can only imagine if when I thought demons were trying to kill you and I was standing sentry in our front yard, you would have said to me, Gabe, you can’t control the demons. You’re only in control of your own actions in life. So therefore, by the power of will and want, you will defeat psychosis. Just come in the house and watch television. Do you think that would have worked? Would you have given me that advice on the lawn?

Lisa: That’s why we can spend the next however many minutes talking about it, because it’s so deep. There’s so many levels.

Gabe: Oh, is it meta? I know you like things that are meta.

Lisa: I don’t think you understand what the word meta means. No, this is not remotely meta. No.

Gabe: When you said that boxes were mailed in boxes and that was meta,

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: I did laugh. But I have no idea what you’re saying.

Lisa: It’s a box of boxes. Whoa.

Gabe: I think what you’re getting at, Lisa, is we have to be active participants in our life. We can’t just sit back and wait for a magic medication or a magic treatment. If we don’t participate in our own recovery, recovery is unlikely to move forward. I understand that this advice does not work for people who are literally in the high end throes of mania or suicidal depression or suffering from psychosis or have such deep crippling anxiety that they can’t get out of their house. Mind over matter doesn’t always work. We’re discussing this from the point where we have gained back some of our faculties, where we have a little bit of control and we have the ability to make decisions and we’re trying to decide if we want to. That’s how it kind of was for me for a while. I didn’t know that I wanted to try. I’d failed so much. It was painful to try.

Lisa: You do have to be at a certain base level of functioning to even begin to take this advice. But as condescending as it sounds, it is practical.

Gabe: It’s so easy, Lisa, when I’m depressed to just really hate these quotes, because people are just throwing them at you, right. Constantly telling you you pick yourself up from your bootstraps, just cheer up, go for a walk. You know, stop and smell the roses. The sun will come out tomorrow. It is what it is. There’s just a million of them. But I do agree with it. So there’s a lot of nuance to all of this. And I just want to orient our listeners to the idea that what we’re saying is, if you have the ability, use it. And if you don’t have the ability, do whatever you can to get it. And then finally, this is going to be the crux of the show, right, Lisa? Try to figure out the difference.

Lisa: Well, maybe this would be a good time for you to tell the story that inspired today’s podcast.

Gabe: Nope, Lisa, you’re going to tell the story, because arguably this is your story. But I’ll give you a little bit of setup. Bipolar disorder took a lot. It was unfair. I didn’t deserve it. I don’t deserve it. I was fighting this illness, at, you know, what, twenty five years old? And all of my friends, they kept advancing in their careers, whereas I lost my job. I wanted to make sure that everybody within the sound of my voice knew that I was wronged. That I was a victim of this. That I was suffering from it. And that it was bullshit. Picture all of my anger, energy and loudness, proclaiming how I was a victim and how I was wrong. And I did it one too many times, and, eventually, Lisa snapped.

Lisa: I couldn’t take it anymore. And you would just go on and on and on about, oh, this isn’t fair, this isn’t my fault, this isn’t the way things should have turned out. All these terrible things have happened to me. Woe is me. And all those things were true. And what I finally said to you is, yes, I agree with you. You are completely 100% right. God f**ked you and nobody cares. You can go on and on and on about this for the rest of your life, but where’s that going to get you? You cannot pay your bills with this sad story. And I think what specifically I said is, well, then why don’t you just call up the bank and say, hey, look, I’m sorry, I can’t pay my bills this month. See, life was unfair and the universe turned on me and life screwed me over. Yeah. Why don’t you go ahead and do that and see how far it gets you.

Gabe: We fought about this for a while.

Lisa: We did.

Gabe: A nuclear argument ensued, lots of yelling. Like, she offended me so. That was really hurtful. That was probably the meanest thing. Yeah. Up until that point, that was probably the meanest thing anyone had ever said to me. And I was hurt. I was damaged by it because how dare you? I felt like she was taking the side of bipolar, I honestly, I thought.

Lisa: See, that makes no sense. Because I agreed with you.

Gabe: I thought that you were relishing in the idea that I deserved this. That’s my initial thought.

Lisa: Well, what’s up with that? Why did you think that?

Gabe: Because what you said was mean and it was meant to be mean and it was said in anger.

Lisa: Ok. All those things, yes. But I’d also like to say it finally got through to you, and it worked.

Gabe: And that’s the amazing part, isn’t it? This is probably my favorite story to tell in a speech for two reasons. One, I, always give the exact quote, so what, life screwed you, get over it. Are you going to spend the rest of your life bitching that life isn’t fair? Or are you going to do something about it? Because no one gives a shit about you and you sure as hell can’t pay your bills with your sad story. That’s the quote I start the speech with and then I end of the speech with, so, you know, I have just told you my story. I got hired to be here, which means I’m going to get paid to tell this story, which means finally, Lisa was wrong. I sure as hell can pay my bills with my sad story.

Lisa: Who saw that coming? I have to say, that does really annoy me. But I think my original point stands.

Gabe: Listen, here’s the point, I never would have been on that stage to take that cheap shot at you if you hadn’t erupted.

Lisa: Once again, you’re welcome.

Gabe: The part where Lisa and I are in a perpetual fight for the rest of our lives and now have a podcast for unexplainable reasons, just push that to the side. I couldn’t see it. If you would have asked me right before Lisa snapped if I was doing everything that I could to get better, I’ve have said yes. But then when you asked me the next day if I was doing everything that I could to get better, my answer was no. No, I wasn’t. I hate to say that the power of positive thinking is real, but it kind of is. I was thinking about everything pessimistically and all I wanted to do was wallow in my misery. And Lisa pointed that out. And had she never pointed it out, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have been able to move forward. I wasn’t taking a realistic stock of everything that I needed to do. I just wanted to wallow. And that was.

Lisa: Counterproductive? Self-destructive?

Gabe: In a way, it was allowing bipolar disorder to win because it had me right where it wanted me. It was attacking me and I was sitting around complaining about it. Once I attacked back, momentum started. Extraordinarily slowly, but I had a little bit. I am thankful for that, Lisa. Maybe you could have said it nicer?

Lisa: Well, maybe I could have done it in a different way. Hindsight. But also, maybe it wouldn’t have worked if I’d said it nicer.

Gabe: Maybe.

Lisa: But I want to make clear, I agreed with you. Life had screwed you over. You can have a lot of compassion and love and feel bad and feel sorry for someone that has had bad things happen to them. For someone who society has screwed over, who society has abandoned. Just on a practical basis, it doesn’t matter. What are you gonna do? You just gonna sit around and wait for life to turn out fair? For the cosmic scales to be balanced? Gonna sit around and wait for wealth inequality or racism or sexism or the structural problems with society to be fixed? You don’t have time for that. You’ll be dead by then. The only thing that you have control over is what you yourself do. And again, it’s condescending. And the more life has screwed you over, the more ridiculous this advice is. But, it does give you some agency and some control over your own life.

Gabe: When it comes to living with mental illness, one of the things that I think about is that point that you just brought up, Lisa. The trashed mental health safety net, the abuses in the psychiatry, people that have money get better care than people who have no money. Just on and on and on.

Lisa: Social inequality.

Gabe: I think about that, and that’s, I did not know this at the time, but if I had not gotten better, I could not have become an advocate. I want everybody listening to get well and lead their best life. Because being well and living their best life is a good enough reason. Like, you can just stop right there. But I’m a little bit selfish. As loud as I am, I can’t do this alone. I’m helping other people. People are helping me. And I want everybody listening to be advocates as well. And one of the best ways that you can be an advocate, of course, is to live well in spite of mental health issues and mental illness. So, when you get there, you can then become an advocate and we can turn around and try to fix all of these social problems and funding problems. And I don’t think Lisa is saying, I’m not trying to put words in your mouth. I don’t think Lisa is saying to ignore these issues. She’s just saying that everything has a time and place. You can’t fight all this social inequality if you can’t get out of bed. And that’s really where I was. I just wanted to lay in bed and talk about how it was unfair. That wasn’t doing anything to make it fair. I wasn’t helping myself and I sure as hell wasn’t helping anybody else.

Lisa: I’m not normally a big self-help fan, and there certainly is a place to wallow because, hey, it feels good for a little while, but at a certain point, you’re not helping yourself. And letting your loved ones wallow, you’re not helping them either. You’re just enabling them. It’s not fair. Who cares? It’s like you always say, Gabe. It may not be our fault, but it is our responsibility.

Gabe: That’s a hard thing for people to understand. It’s a bitter pill, right? I have to be sick and I have to deal with the consequences of being sick? But I mean, yeah. Yeah, that’s how the world works.

Lisa: I just keep coming back to the practicality of it, that all this other stuff is kind of an esoteric argument. You’re trying to address all these social things, all these large-scale macro things, big picture. But you don’t have control over any of that. Advocacy can certainly help with all of those things, and you should definitely go down that route. But all you have control over is the little micro environment that you’re in. It’s just not practical to sit around and complain. The only thing that you can do is try to affect the immediate environment around you.

Gabe: I have to say, one of the things I keep thinking about is how often I wanted to talk about how unfair the world was. It wasn’t because I thought that I was making the world more fair. Me complaining wasn’t moving the needle in any way. It’s not like I was volunteering at a peer center or donating money or I wasn’t doing anything.

Lisa: And the world was unfair. I want to be very clear on that point. It was unfair. Bad things did happen. But no one cares.

Gabe: But I wasn’t affected any change. I was using it as an excuse not to have to deal with my own shit. I mean, you were there, Lisa. Was my complaining making life better for people living with mental illness?

Lisa: No, and it was actually kind of weird. It’s like you thought that if you could convince enough people that life was unfair, it would somehow suddenly get better for you. No. No, it wouldn’t. As I say that, I think about well, I guess if you could convince enough people that the mental health safety net was in tatters, that you would, in fact, be able to make some change and that might make life better.

Gabe: Well, let’s focus on that for a minute. You said that if I could convince somebody. That’s sort of my point, right? Would the angry mentally ill guy who isn’t speaking in coherent sentences, who’s probably not done a lot of really good research, who probably has word salad going on? I’m not sure that that individual is going to get a meeting with somebody who can affect real social change. But, hey, I’ve fallen into shit before, so let’s say that I do get a meeting with that person. Am I going to take advantage of that meeting? I have gotten those meetings now, and I come in prepared and with stats and with talking points, and I shake people’s hands and I say, hello, my name is Gabe Howard and I live with bipolar disorder. And the reason that I am standing in front of you now as a voter is because I was able to find care. And the only reason that I got access to care is because I have money and privilege. And a good family. And arguably a Lisa.

Lisa: We could spend days upon days upon days talking about all the problems, all the things. But what are you going to do right now? What are you going to do immediately? And I think there is a lot to be said for when you feel like you have some agency over your own life, no matter how small an amount of agency that is, it’s good for you, and it leads to positive things.

Gabe: One of the things that you said to me, Lisa, which I found very incredible, is I told you, that one of the reasons that I was struggling is because before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, before I was aware, I had 100% confidence. If I went in and applied for a job and I didn’t get the job, it’s because I didn’t get the job. No big deal. If I tried out for a sport and I didn’t get the sport, it’s because I wasn’t good enough, no big deal. But then afterward, like, my confidence was shattered, right? And I would not get a job, and I would think to myself, is it because they didn’t, they didn’t want a guy with bipolar disorder?

Lisa: What you’re talking about is privilege. Privilege is never having to wonder.

Gabe: Yeah, and my privilege evaporated immediately. But then also I started to wonder, like is the reason I didn’t get the job because I was symptomatic during the interview? That was a hard thing to struggle with as well. So, you know, I’d say, you know, I want to be a bricklayer. Let’s just go with bricklayer. And I feel that I’m a good bricklayer and I go apply for the job as a bricklayer. And they don’t hire me. Now, did they not hire me because secretly I’m a bad bricklayer? That’s a possibility. Did they not hire me because I have bipolar disorder? That’s a possibility. And.

Lisa: Is there a more qualified bricklayer who also applied for the job?

Gabe: Right. That’s certainly a possibility as well. But the thing that bothered me is if you’re not getting hired as a bricklayer, then you need to look internally and you need to think to yourself, OK, maybe the reason I’m not getting hired is because I’m not a good bricklayer. And what got in the way of that was two things. One, am I really a good bricklayer but nobody wants to work with a bipolar bricklayer? But put that aside. Maybe the reason I’m not getting these jobs is not because I’m not an excellent bricklayer, but because I’m always symptomatic during the interviews? Or I’m not well enough to work as a bricklayer right now? Or I have a panic attack right when the brick laying interview begins? So if I could get those symptoms under control, then I could get a job as a bricklayer. That’s like another element that I had to deal with. That was very difficult. Now there’s programs in, once again, here’s some luck, in big cities. Vocational programs that will help you work on that. They will work with you in your chosen professions to let you know. I did not go through one of those programs because I was not aware that they existed. The thing that I used to do for a living I was still qualified to do. I was very good at it. But I had to switch jobs because I had a high-pressure job. There was a lot of stress. And every time something would happen at work, that was a normal part of the job that I chose.

Lisa: You lost it. You couldn’t do it.

Gabe: Lisa, how many times did you have to pick me up?

Lisa: A lot, a lot.

Gabe: Somebody thought I was having a heart attack at a job once because the panic attack was just so.

Lisa: It was actually pretty amazing how often you kept getting new jobs. You apparently are amazing at job interviews because you would get hired. But then you couldn’t keep that up for more than a few weeks, maybe a couple of months.

Gabe: I couldn’t.

Lisa: The pressure would get to you and you’d quit. One time you came home and I said, what? Why are you not at work? And you said, well, it was an emergency. I had to quit. It was an emergency quitting? Yes, there was an emergency, and I had to quit. Huh.

Gabe: Yeah.

Lisa: Yeah. No, you had a panic attack and you couldn’t take it. You quit.

Gabe: That was the emergency. So, I had to take a long, hard look at what jobs I could do. It was very difficult because I didn’t want to leave that profession. I was good at that profession. Like Lisa said, I got hired a whole bunch. So,

Lisa: You got paid well too.

Gabe: Yeah. Clearly my resumé was good enough to keep getting these jobs, and I was good. But I, I had to switch gears. I had to find what else I was good at that worked with well, essentially my new reality. I worked it out with my therapist. I worked it out in groups and I wish I would have known about vocational training because that, man that would have made it easier. But I didn’t. But I, it’s one of the things that I worked on in therapy and we started with, OK, what are the things that you’re good at? What are the things you are bad at? What are the things that cause you panic? I started part time and I, I worked my way up. I’m very, very thankful to have been able to move all the way up. But I originally tried to go back to work as if nothing had ever left. I tried to do exactly what I was doing before. I tried to do exactly what I saw people my own age doing, because after all and this is the phrase that got me in more trouble, I wanted to be just like everybody else. I compared myself to others chronically, chronically. Gabe, why are you doing that? Because Joe did. Well, so? That’s how I know I have to have it. It’s like keeping up with the Joneses, except instead of stuff, it’s like, you know, job status or work status or.

Lisa: The point is that you were trying to go too far, too fast, too soon.

Gabe: Yeah, yeah.

Lisa: Baby steps were really where you needed to go here. And once again, if this is about taking back whatever amount of agency or control you can have, a small amount at least get you started down the road, and eventually you’ll get all of it. But for now, whatever you can claw back, take it.

Gabe: You know, I remember when I was really, really depressed like super super depression, and I couldn’t leave the house. A therapist recommended that I write on the mirror everything that I need to do. But like, don’t write, take shower. Because take a shower actually encompasses a lot of things. Right? Take a shower is, you know, washing your hair, washing your body, shaving, brushing your teeth. You know when people say, I have to take a shower, they tend to do all of that stuff. Right.

Lisa: She was basically saying that you needed to count the success where you could.

Gabe: Exactly. So, I wrote on the thing, all right, get undressed. All right. Got to do that. Brush teeth. Shave. Get in shower. Soap up body. Rinse off body. Dry off. Get dressed. And I kept all of those, like, single things.

Lisa: So, one day at a time, one step at a time kind of mentality. Just one foot in front of the other.

Gabe: Yeah, and don’t be bothered with how long it takes you she said. Don’t even worry about the time. Don’t say, well, I have a friend that can do all that in 10 minutes and certainly don’t say, well, I’ve done that before in 20. Just make that your goal for the day and cross them off as you get there. If you don’t get them all done, start over tomorrow. So, Gabe, these 10 things, which again, brush my teeth and turn shower on, turn shower off, were on the list. Celebrate that success. I loved that for depression. It helped me a lot. It helped me get moving. And eventually I didn’t need the list, and I started taking showers in 20 minutes again and getting dressed and leaving the house and no problem. I started applying that to my ability to work. So, a 10 hour a week job was a huge amount of success because I was no longer comparing it to a 40 hour a week job. And that really helped. You know, I’ve had some jobs that people would consider crummy, but I kind of liked them. One of the jobs was at a fast food restaurant where I got free food. Truthfully, I kind of miss that job. Free Diet Coke, all I could eat food. It didn’t pay well at all, and I had to work until like 2:00 in the morning. But, man, did I love that job. That was a good job. You remember that job, Lisa?

Lisa: Well, that ties back to the eating disorder episode, doesn’t it? You were unreasonably thrilled by that job.

Gabe: Yeah, yeah, I didn’t talk anything about the money or the benefits or the stability or that they were nice to me or that it was close to my house. Nope, just the free food.

Lisa: Perhaps not the best example. Anyway.

Gabe: But it did work for me and it got me to where I am today.

Lisa: It got you out of the house.

Gabe: Well, it got me out of the house. But what I wanted was what I have now. What I wanted was to go from nothing to what I have at this moment right now. And that was unreasonable.

Lisa: Yeah, you can’t do that.

Gabe: And, you know, I’ve since gone on to marry a woman with an MBA. It’s a master’s in business administration. She understands how businesses work. And when I started my business, I was like, well, this is the business I want, and she’s like, OK, what are the steps to get there? And I said, what are you talking about? This is the business that I want. She was thinking in the same way that I needed to think to get over depression or get back to work, which is the day you opened your business is not the business that you want. As much as we like to think that all of this thinking is abnormal and it’s just something that people with mental illness need to do. No Amazon, the most profitable and wealthy company in all of America, started out with a plan. Day one, register Amazon.com. Day two, build the Web site, expand the Web site, growth, build the warehouses. And now world domination. But

Lisa: The point is step by step. Not all at once, you can’t get there in one fell swoop.

Gabe: And the bigger point is, this isn’t some rule that only applies to people with mental health issues. This is how everything works. I got a billion examples of this, but maybe this is my favorite one. The day you join the workforce is not the day that you have all the shit your parents have because it took them 50 years to get it and you want it on day one. This is how the world works. And I needed a big reality check for that and I needed to realize it. I needed to apply those skills. But more importantly, I needed to recognize that I was in control. I had the ability to affect the outcome, and that gave me power. That power is why I work so hard, because that was infectious. I had missed that. I had missed having agency. I had missed having control. Do you remember, Lisa? I know we were divorced and I had worked so hard and I moved into a six hundred square foot apartment.

Lisa: You really loved that place.

Gabe: It was in a mediocre section of town. It’s not the bad section, but not, you know. Lisa and I, when we were married, we had dual income. Mostly Lisa income.

Lisa: We lived in the good section.

Gabe: We lived in a very upper middle class section, in a house. We had a house. And then I moved to this little six hundred square foot apartment. And everybody, everybody, including Lisa, was positive I was going to fail.

Lisa: I was. I did not have enough faith in you. What I said to you a year later, because you said, oh my God, I’m just so depressed, I’m so sad. This is not where I want to be. And I said, are you kidding? Do you remember a year ago? None of us thought you could do it. And there you did, throwing it right back in our faces.

Gabe: Your exact words were, you rubbed our faces in your success. And when I thought about it, I was like, yeah, I did.

Lisa: We didn’t think you could do it and you did.

Gabe: How you like me now?

Lisa: You were a good sport.

Gabe: I was. I was not a bad winner. Especially since I didn’t think that it was good enough and you had to remind me of it. And I fell into the same trap where I was comparing the apartment that I lived in to other people’s my age, houses and marriages and children and nicer cars and better vacations. And that’s what I was doing. I was comparing myself to others again. And when Lisa pointed out that literally everybody in my life was positive that I was going to need to be rescued. They were all making plans behind my back. All right, how are we saving Gabe as soon as he screws this up? Which again, they were doing because they loved me and because they’re a good support system. And when I started hearing the stories of how shocked they all were that I made it, how proud they were of me. A year later, same job, same car, all my bills paid, had built up a little nest egg. I just.

Lisa: Even started cleaning your place. It was amazing.

Gabe: I did have the magic hamper. Lisa still did my laundry. That was pretty cool.

Lisa: He got it at Ikea.

Gabe: I bought this hamper and I threw dirty clothes in it, and once a week the hamper would show up in my apartment with clean clothes in it while I was at work. It was pretty awesome. I, still to this day, don’t know how it works, but do you know how that worked, Lisa?

Lisa: And eventually he started trying to test it. How much could he put it that hamper? Just how far could you push that? Yeah.

Gabe: One day a week, my sheets would automatically change on my bed and it would be made.

Lisa: It was a magic apartment.

Gabe: Sincerely, though, even as I tell the story right, Lisa was still helping me out. I’m sort of making air quotes because she wasn’t helping me, like, manage my mental illness or anything. I mean, she was.

Lisa: You were helping me, too.

Gabe: Oh, yeah, we were trading. But,

Lisa: Yeah. We traded.

Gabe: You know, she was doing my laundry because she had a washer and dryer and I did not have a washer and dryer. And Lisa didn’t mind. I took care of her car because I didn’t mind taking care of her car. She’s about to list all this other stuff that she did for me. Suffice to say, she did a lot for me and I am very thankful, you don’t.

Lisa: I was actually going to list all the things that you did in return. That shows you where your negative thinking gets you. That’s when my shoulder had gotten so bad, and so you started coming over and mowing the lawn and all the other stuff that I couldn’t do.

Gabe: I did. I did. You couldn’t lift anything. Which really slowed down your ability to clean my apartment, I might add.

Lisa: Yeah, I know, I know. Almost as if that inspired you to start cleaning yourself.

Gabe: I mean, all six hundred square feet. You basically stood in the middle with like a Windex bottle, just spraying it. You covered every surface. I didn’t have a real vacuum cleaner. I just had a DustBuster and that was enough.

Lisa: What? Why does that even exist? No. We’ll be here for the rest of our lives talking about why DustBusters suck.

Gabe: We’ll be right back after these messages.

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Gabe: And we’re back discussing the wisdom of self-help clichés.

Lisa: It can be very difficult to know where that line is. Because you want to have sympathy and love and compassion. But at what point does it cross into enabling? At a certain point you’re not doing this person any favors, you’re just allowing them to stay sick. And you’re thinking, well, but there’s such a limited amount that he can accomplish. There’s such a limited amount that this person can do. Well, yeah, but that ain’t zero. And you want to make sure they’re living up to that potential.

Gabe: And not for nothing, you don’t know.

Lisa: Well, that’s true, yeah. Your expectations could be completely wrong, and won’t you be surprised?

Gabe: Like you were, Lisa, when I just became this.

Lisa: That’s true. I didn’t think you could do it. I really didn’t. And I feel bad saying that now. And there have been times where I’ve tried to be like, oh no, I always had faith in you. I knew you could do it. Nah. No, I totally didn’t. It took me about a year to realize that you could. I might have told you I thought you were gonna make it, but, yeah, I didn’t really think so.

Gabe: No, you told me I was going to fail. In a way, I think that honesty helped because you weren’t enabling me. You let me try. I understand, Lisa, that our situation was a little different, right? I mean, I had to move out. We were getting a divorce. We couldn’t live together anymore. We were moving on with our lives and we needed to do stuff. But I know that you were angling very hard, that maybe I move a couple of states away near family or in with family because you did not want to be a caregiver. I insisted that you were never my caregiver, and that’s part of the reason that we are getting a divorce. Long and involved story, we don’t need to discuss it. But the point that I’m making, though, is that I believed that I could do it. Lisa did not believe that I could do it. But Lisa didn’t interfere.

Lisa: You did not believe you could do it. That is not true.

Gabe: I did believe that I could do it or I would’ve.

Lisa: Did you really?

Gabe: Yes. What I said was that.

Lisa: You didn’t say it at the time.

Gabe: You are wrong. I obviously thought I could do it or why would I have done it? Yeah, I could have moved in with my parents, I could’ve moved in with my grandparents, I could have moved in with my sister. I could have tried to apply for disability. I could have moved into a roommate situation. I could have. I had 100 other options. Why did I pick the one I thought I was gonna fail at? You’re thinking, no, no, it wasn’t perfect. You weren’t like [singing]. Yeah, you’re right. I had trepidations. I was nervous. I was scared. I cried the first night I was in my apartment. But no, I absolutely thought I could do it.

Lisa: Ok.

Gabe: That’s nonsense. That’s like saying that Debbie doesn’t think that she could be a mom because while she was pregnant, she was worried she’d be a bad mother. No, Debbie was confident she could be a good mom. She was just scared.

Lisa: Thinking back on it now, I don’t remember it that way, but there was a lot going on. So, I don’t know.

Gabe: The point that I want to make to people is, you know, this is how we decide who is in our lives. Because I knew that Lisa was worried about me and didn’t think that I could do it. And I knew that my family was worried about me and had major reservations about whether or not I could hold down a job and live alone in an apartment. And everybody was very, very worried, but they still supported me. They did make their worries and concerns known, which I think made me better. I was able to talk to them about my worries and concerns, which got me help during the process. And even though Lisa thought that I was going to fail, she still did my laundry. That’s really nice, right? We’re a divorcing couple where she thinks that her mentally ill, soon to be ex-husband, is about to, like, get fired from a job and run out on a lease and become homeless.

Lisa: And implode.

Gabe: She’s still talked to me like an adult. She still helped me. We still worked it out. And all of that, it helped prove Lisa wrong and helped prove my family wrong and helped me, as Lisa put it, rub all their faces in it. Those are the people that we need to surround ourselves with. We need to talk to the people who are supporting us, helping us, or giving us a leg up and saying, look, if you don’t think I can make it and you are actively hindering my progress, I probably can’t make it. If you don’t think I can make it, and you refuse to help me, maybe I can’t make it. Because one of the reasons that I believed I could make it is because I did believe that I could count on the people around me. You know, Lisa, my family, my friends. I thought I had good support and they never turned on me.

Lisa: Do you remember what you said to me, you said, you know, I don’t understand why you think that I can’t do this. What were you working all this time for? If you thought it was hopeless, why did you bother up until now?

Gabe: It was curious. I don’t know why you started dating a severely mentally ill man, got him help, got him all the care that he needed. And then when he went out on his own with a job, said, you’re going to fail.

Lisa: You make me sound bad when I say it that way.

Gabe: You wanted a severely mentally ill man who didn’t get better.

Lisa: No.

Gabe: In your house forever?

Lisa: Now, when you do stuff and I say things like, oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me, blah, blah, blah. Really? You went for a hike? You never would hike when we were together, would you? And you always say, why did you try so hard if you didn’t think that someday I would become this? Why did you even try to get me here in the first place? Why didn’t you just ditch me by the side of the road? And so, yeah, it turns out I was very prescient.

Gabe: A lot of us are younger when we’re going through these things. You know, I was young, twenty-five is young. Thirty is young. I talk to a lot of people that are in their early 20s. You know, they’re talking about their families, you know, their parents who have put up with a lot. And they ask me, they’re like, why should I tolerate my family treating me this way? And I was like, well, look, you’ve gotten yourself into this rut together. You know, stop pretending that it’s all your family’s fault. It’s not just, you know, mom, dad, brother, sister, best friend that have done it to you and you’re innocent. And this is the part about taking responsibility and control of our own agency. Lisa cares about me very much. She was there through the worst of it, she guided me. She is my best friend in the entire world. Her thinking that I was going to fail is not because she was mean. It’s because I had a history of failing. It’s because I had a history of emergency quitting jobs and having panic attacks. And I had a history of not being able to do it. So, I needed to understand that honestly, people thinking that I wasn’t going to be successful was probably not an unreasonable thought. They have that right to think that. Just make sure that they’re respectful and ask them directly how they can help. You know, we use the example of Lisa doing my laundry. It’s because I asked her, I said, hey, I don’t have a washer and dryer anymore. Can you help me with this? And Lisa said, absolutely. That’s how we did it. I hope we’re an inspiration to all.

Lisa: It’s not just that someone is enabling you, you are allowing them to. Again, it doesn’t matter how little control you have, it’s more than zero. And the more you can take, the more you can get.

Gabe: Lisa, I want to switch gears a little bit and talk about, we lived together.

Lisa: Yeah, well, we were married.

Gabe: Well, yes, but and I know this isn’t completely analogous to a lot of our listeners who aren’t married or maybe live with roommates or friends that are causing them problems or live with family members who are.

Lisa: Ok.

Gabe: But I think that a question that I want to know is how I was able to manage you? The scenario that I’m setting up, is let’s say that you’re a person living with mental illness, mental health issues, and you’re living, you know, in your sister’s basement or you’re still a younger person or just whatever. You’re living with somebody who you now are thinking they might be enabling me.

Lisa: Ok, OK.

Gabe: They’re not trying to help me get a job. They’re not trying to push me out the door. They’re OK paying the bills and let me play video games all day. But you’re right. I do want more out of life than playing video games all day. And people are thinking to themselves, if they’re reasonable. Well, as soon as I tell them that I want to get a full-time job, they’re going to tell me I’m going to fail. Like you did, Lisa, with the apartment and everything. And they’re like, well, man, this guy seems to have a good relationship with this lady and she didn’t believe in him. What are the odds that my friends and family are going to believe in me? Maybe they have failed a lot, like I did. I’m trying to project my story onto them because the question that I have is, how did I convince you to help me even though you didn’t believe in it?

Lisa: I’m uncomfortable with you saying I didn’t believe in you, although that is accurate. Maybe I’m just uncomfortable in being portrayed in a way that I feel is negative.

Gabe: I know that you don’t like the truth, but, you know, this is a no bullshit thing and you did not believe in me.

Lisa: I did not.

Gabe: You were positive that you were going to have to bail me out of some sort of trouble.

Lisa: I was.

Gabe: No doubt with time, energy and money and pick up the pieces of whatever I destroyed.

Lisa: Yes. Yes, I was positive of it.

Gabe: And I told you, in no uncertain terms that I would be fine and that you were wrong.

Lisa: I don’t think that’s accurate, you actually did not have that much confidence, at least not that you were expressing to me.

Gabe: I had enough confidence that I did it.

Lisa: That’s true, but it’s not like you were saying, I am a winner. You know what I mean? It’s not like you had this mindset.

Gabe: Who cares? My actions projected confidence. You told me that I would fail. Nobody told me that I would succeed. And I did it anyway.

Lisa: Yes, you did.

Gabe: You understand the question that I’m asking. Why did you decide to support me? What is it that I said that made you think, well, I need to support this guy, even though I think that he is wrong?

Lisa: I don’t think there is anything that you said. It’s just what’s the other option? How do I not support you? Just say no? No, screw you, you’re on your own. Don’t call me if bad things happen. I mean, how do you? What would I have had to do to not support you?

Gabe: We fought about this. We fought about this a lot. This was not a touching moment. This was not the part of the Hallmark movie where we came to terms and hugged each other. This is the part of the Hallmark movie where we yelled at each other and doors were slamming so that when we finally did hug each other at the end of the Hallmark movie, it was so much more meaningful, because we came together. How did we come together? What did that path look like? Stop pretending that you were just like, oh, I think he’s wrong. I’ll just be okay because there’s no other option. The option is to constantly tell me I’m going to fail and try to talk me out of it.

Lisa: Did I do that?

Gabe: Yes. What made you stop?

Lisa: You know, I don’t know that I remember. I guess the obvious reason of what made me stop telling you that you were going to fail was probably when you succeeded. Why would I keep saying to you, you are not going to be successful in doing this when you were right in front of my eyes being successful? Once you moved into the POD, did I ever say at that point you were going to mess this up and I’m going to have to bail your ass out? Did I ever say that at that point?

Gabe: Side note, POD stands for Pretty Okay Domicile.

Lisa: It was nice.

Gabe: Because my high school bedroom was pit of despair, which I also called a POD. I was trying to be trying to use my coping skills and.

Lisa: You were reframing.

Gabe: Yeah, I was reframing. I like that.

Lisa: Yeah.

Gabe: That is a good point. You’re right. You remained critical until the die was cast. You did not believe in me. And I kept moving forward. And finally, I moved forward enough that you really had no choice but to follow along.

Lisa: Well, right. Yeah.

Gabe: And I think that’s a powerful message, right? For people listening, like how can I get my family on board to support me? You might have to take the first several steps of the journey.

Lisa: On your own.

Gabe: While listening to them criticize you and tell you that you’re wrong. You’re right. You were not on board until I was, until I was already down the path. Do you think that’s the message? You’ve got to take the first several steps by yourself? That you probably won’t get buy in.

Lisa: Maybe.

Gabe: Until after you’ve stuck to your guns for a while?

Lisa: But let’s look at the reason why you’re not getting buy in. And again, I acknowledge that it sounds mean, etc. But the reason why I did not think you were going to be successful, you did not have a track record of success. Not having faith in you was, frankly, the safe bet. I feel like that was reasonable at that point. How much blind faith versus pragmatism should we have here? I mean, how do you find that balance?

Gabe: I’m not saying that you were wrong for not believing in me. I’m just saying that I think there’s a lot of people that believe that the people in their lives have given up on them.

Lisa: Maybe they have.

Gabe: I’m just trying to get your side of the story out. Why did you not believe in me? And you’re like,

Lisa: Because you had not succeeded up until then, you continued to have a track record of failure. How much was I supposed to invest in this potential future where you said, no, no, no, I’m gonna do it this time? I mean, how many times had I been burned before?

Gabe: See, that’s what really struck me looking backwards for me. First, I thought, well, she’s just being mean and she doesn’t support me. I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. Right? I didn’t see all the times that you supported me, and then, of course, I let you down or it didn’t work out or failed.

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: I was looking at it in this one little window. This whole thing reminds me of the basketball coach who cut Michael Jordan. And everybody’s like, oh, my God, that guy’s an idiot. He cut the greatest basketball player ever. What a moron. Except that he was right to cut him, he wasn’t good yet. He needed to be cut because he wasn’t prepared. He wasn’t ready. He needed to learn more fundamentals. He learned to practice. And one could argue that, in fact, that coach is not an idiot, but the father of the greatest career in basketball history.

Lisa: Right, because this failure gave him inspiration. Or his coach’s lack of faith in him is the extra push for him to practice, etc.

Gabe: Sure, all of those things. Whatever it is, and I think that sometimes we don’t give that credit. We take the easy route, which is a ha-ha that coach was a moron for cutting the great Michael Jordan.

Lisa: But he wasn’t the great yet.

Gabe: Right. The actual thing that happened, Lisa, is it’s not that you were a moron that didn’t believe in the great podcaster Gabe Howard. No. The guy to you didn’t believe in wasn’t great at anything.

Lisa: Yeah.

Gabe: I had failed at everything. You looked at the facts and said, yeah, this isn’t gonna happen. And because you were honest, and because you told me what I sucked at, I had the opportunity to fix it. I’m just going to pretend that in the Michael Jordan analogy that the coach was like, dude, you can’t make it because you suck at free throws and you can’t dribble. And Michael Jordan was like, aha, I will practice that. And then ta-da, we get Michael Jordan, or in this case, Lisa, we get Gabe. So, this guy unleashed Michael Jordan on the world, sorry LeBron James fans. And you unleashed Gabe on the world, sorry fans of quiet and peace.

Lisa: Sorry world.

Gabe: Yeah. I think that a lot. But it’s easy. It’s easy when you’re that guy to just look around and be like nobody believes in me. And I just think that I want the people who are listening that might be in this situation to think it’s not that my family and friends are morons. It’s that I haven’t given them anything to believe in yet. And that’s taking back the power. Right? Remember your quote, that’s you taking back the power and giving them something to rally around. Like, give your family something to believe in. I feel like an 80’s song is coming up. Don’t stop believing. But do you agree with that? Like at what point were you like, now I can rally behind Gabe.

Lisa: Maybe you want to look at it from the other person’s point of view. How much of what you perceive of your family and friends not supporting you is actually them trying to protect themselves emotionally? It is exhausting to be let down over and over and over again. How many times are you supposed to get your hopes up only to have them dashed? What’s a reasonable amount?

Gabe: It’s interesting, this idea of it’s not all about us. Like that’s kind of a new concept.

Lisa: Yeah, almost like you’re not the focus of the universe.

Gabe: But it’s easy, though, right? It didn’t occur to me that.

Lisa: Is that actually true? It honestly didn’t occur?

Gabe: No, of course not. I was only thinking about myself

Lisa: Like, you honestly didn’t think about that?

Gabe: No, I was busy only thinking about myself. Why would I?

Lisa: Well, that makes a lot more sense.

Gabe: And I think that if you thought about it, it wouldn’t occur to you that I would have thought about anybody other than myself. I was very wrapped up in everything that was going on in my life.

Lisa: Right. Well, that’s what mental illness is. You’re trapped in your own sphere, in your own mind.

Gabe: Yeah, exactly, but forget about mental illness. I think it’s just very common when you feel like somebody has done something that’s mean to you. I felt that it was mean that I wasn’t being supported. So, I don’t know that it’s natural to put yourself in the shoes of the person who’s being mean to you. I’m not saying it’s not a good idea. It’s an incredibly good idea. And it would have paid dividends all the way back then. Because if I could have seen things from your point of view, maybe we could have . . . Anybody listening, put yourself in your family and friends’ point of view. Is it that you’re too anxious to leave the house? Or is it that you blew them off eight times and they’ve bought food and made dinner and counted on you to come over? Like, how are they seeing what’s going on? You, Lisa, were seeing it as, oh, my God. If he does this, I’m going to have to save him.

Lisa: Again.

Gabe: I’m gonna have to worry. Time, energy, money.

Lisa: Money.

Gabe: This is emotionally devastating when he fails. I must prevent this and protect myself.

Lisa: Right. You have to look at your own individual situation. How long has this been going on? How much is your family and friends been doing for you? What are the risks? What are they putting on the line? How many times have they had to rescue you already, and maybe they just don’t want to do it anymore?

Gabe: All very fair questions. I guess the thing that I want people to understand from listening to both of us, from the perspective of the person who is upset that nobody believed in him and the person who was exhausted at believing in me and being let down is that both of our journeys are valid. I didn’t mean to let you down, Lisa. I wasn’t malicious. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. But that doesn’t.

Lisa: Yeah, but you also weren’t focused on not

Gabe: Yeah, probably.

Lisa: It’s not like you were going out of your way to not hurt my feelings.

Gabe: I think that’s part of a larger conversations. I mean, I was desperately trying to get well and if I could have succeeded in getting well, that would have not hurt you. So in that way, I was trying to be who I needed to be. But even if you don’t believe that, I certainly wasn’t trying to end up divorced. That was not my goal.

Lisa: Well, maybe this goes back to your point of you should start with baby steps,

Gabe: Yeah, it does.

Lisa: Because the more steps, the more complicated, the bigger your plan, the less buy in you’re going to get. Because statistically, just playing the odds here, the less likely that you’re going to succeed. You were talking about how do I get buy in right away or is it even reasonable? Well, maybe if you start with small goals and then accomplish them, maybe that will help you get buy in as well. Rather than saying, I’m going to go get a job. Eh, I don’t know that I’m going to help you with that. I’m not going to do this. Help you buy a new outfit and spruce up your resume. I’m not gonna go through all this crap again. I’ve already done this eight times. You’re on your own, buddy. Maybe if instead you said, hey, I’m gonna go volunteer. Someone would be like, oh, okay. Yeah, sure. I’ll drive you,

Gabe: Hey, at some point, you’ve got to make the leap. I think it’s a leap. I think it is a leap for folks to believe that their loved ones can do it.

Lisa: You’re acting like this is the first time anyone’s ever asked them to do that. They’ve already taken that leap several times and fallen. So, you’re saying, hey, take a leap of faith, but if you’ve already leaped multiple times and fallen to the bottom of the canyon, at what point are you just an idiot for leaping again?

Gabe: I hear ya. But just do we want the message to be don’t believe in your loved ones, don’t believe that they can ever get better? I mean, how many times is it reasonable.

Lisa: Exactly, maybe the in-between message is if you feel that the goal they’ve set is unreasonable or you think, Ugh, no, not again. Maybe that’s the takeaway, that you should try to work towards something that you both believe is a thing. What are some options? I think many people do have in-between options, but they don’t want to take it because it’s depressing. No one really ever wants to set manageable goals. Right? Everybody’s always like, I’m going to lose 50 pounds. Yeah. People say that all the time, but no one ever says, you know, I’m going to go for a walk right now. No one ever does that. It’s more fun, it’s more satisfying to have these large, bigger goals, but it’s also less likely to be successful.

Gabe: I hear what you’re saying and it goes back to the discussion we were having earlier about baby steps. Don’t just say, hey, I want to get ready and leave the house, say that I want to get undressed, I want to turn the shower on. You can do more than you think you can. It’s going to be a lot of work. And if people don’t believe you, try anyway. But be reasonable and get rid of toxic people. But maybe consider that their toxicity is on you.

Lisa: Yeah.

Gabe: And it’s not 100% their fault. So be willing to forgive them when you succeed and finally, set manageable goals. There’s no reason to say you’re going to lose 50 pounds when you’re not even willing to put on sweat pants and walk around the block with your dog because, and I quote, it’s hot.

Lisa: It’s easier said than done, but try to step outside of yourself and see it from someone else’s perspective.

Gabe: That is a difficult concept for people.

Lisa: Well, obviously, yeah.

Gabe: And again, it’s not a mental illness thing, right, Lisa?

Lisa: Yeah. That’s everybody, yeah.

Gabe: People have a hard time seeing things from other people’s perspectives.

Lisa: Yes, obviously. Otherwise, we the world, would be so much different.

Gabe: Yeah, it would be. I only bring that up because, again, as a guy who lives with bipolar disorder, I think these things are only happening to me. We love all of your comments, everyone. In fact, our favorite comment was where somebody said, I love listening to your show. Do you and Lisa have kids? No, we do not have kids, but we do have a podcast, and that’s like a kid. We certainly fight about the podcast as much as other people fight about their children.

Lisa: Gabe, the only reason we’re fighting is because you’re just always way too hard on the podcast.

Gabe: Well, he’s got to learn.

Lisa: He needs your love.

Gabe: I want the podcast to get into a good college and not be spoiled like my other podcast.

Lisa: You know, sometimes you just need to sit around and play a game. It doesn’t always have to be high stakes. My advice is good.

Gabe: I love our podcast parenting style. Listen up, everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for tolerating us and for listening. And if you loved the show, please subscribe on your favorite podcast player. Please rate, rank and review. Share us on social media. Use your words and tell people why they should listen in.

Lisa: Don’t forget about the outtake, and we’ll see you next Tuesday.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to the Not Crazy Podcast from Psych Central. For free mental health resources and online support groups, visit PsychCentral.com. Not Crazy’s official website is PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. To work with Gabe, go to gabehoward.com. Want to see Gabe and me in person? Not Crazy travels well. Have us record an episode live at your next event. E-mail [email protected] for details.

Podcast: Self-Help Cliches Have a Peculiar Value syndicated from

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whorchataaa · 4 years ago

Text

Podcast: Self-Help Cliches Have a Peculiar Value

When you struggle with mental illness, how much of your behavior, thoughts and emotions do you actually have control over? Is it helpful to feel in control of your life, even when it screws you over?

(Transcript Available Below)

Please Subscribe to Our Show: And We Love Written Reviews!

About The Not Crazy podcast Hosts

Computer Generated Transcript for “Self-Help Cliches” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Gabe: Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the Not Crazy podcast. I’m your host, Gabe Howard, and I am here, as always, with my favorite co-host, Lisa.

Lisa: Hey, everyone. So today’s quote is, you must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself. And that is by Jim Rohn.

Lisa: Mr. Rohn, yeah.

Lisa: It’s extremely condescending from a certain point of view, yes.

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: Should I just cheer up? Like, would that help?

Lisa: You could eat less.

Gabe: Is it like that? Or is there still, is there still wisdom in it, even for folks like us?

Lisa: That’s why we can spend the next however many minutes talking about it, because it’s so deep. There’s so many levels.

Gabe: Oh, is it meta? I know you like things that are meta.

Lisa: I don’t think you understand what the word meta means. No, this is not remotely meta. No.

Gabe: When you said that boxes were mailed in boxes and that was meta,

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: I did laugh. But I have no idea what you’re saying.

Lisa: It’s a box of boxes. Whoa.

Lisa: You do have to be at a certain base level of functioning to even begin to take this advice. But as condescending as it sounds, it is practical.

Lisa: Well, maybe this would be a good time for you to tell the story that inspired today’s podcast.

Gabe: We fought about this for a while.

Lisa: We did.

Lisa: See, that makes no sense. Because I agreed with you.

Gabe: I thought that you were relishing in the idea that I deserved this. That’s my initial thought.

Lisa: Well, what’s up with that? Why did you think that?

Gabe: Because what you said was mean and it was meant to be mean and it was said in anger.

Lisa: Ok. All those things, yes. But I’d also like to say it finally got through to you, and it worked.

Lisa: Who saw that coming? I have to say, that does really annoy me. But I think my original point stands.

Gabe: Listen, here’s the point, I never would have been on that stage to take that cheap shot at you if you hadn’t erupted.

Lisa: Once again, you’re welcome.

Lisa: Counterproductive? Self-destructive?

Lisa: Well, maybe I could have done it in a different way. Hindsight. But also, maybe it wouldn’t have worked if I’d said it nicer.

Gabe: Maybe.

Lisa: Social inequality.

Lisa: And the world was unfair. I want to be very clear on that point. It was unfair. Bad things did happen. But no one cares.

Lisa: What you’re talking about is privilege. Privilege is never having to wonder.

Lisa: Is there a more qualified bricklayer who also applied for the job?

Lisa: You lost it. You couldn’t do it.

Gabe: Lisa, how many times did you have to pick me up?

Lisa: A lot, a lot.

Gabe: Somebody thought I was having a heart attack at a job once because the panic attack was just so.

Gabe: I couldn’t.

Gabe: Yeah.

Lisa: Yeah. No, you had a panic attack and you couldn’t take it. You quit.

Lisa: You got paid well too.

Lisa: The point is that you were trying to go too far, too fast, too soon.

Gabe: Yeah, yeah.

Lisa: She was basically saying that you needed to count the success where you could.

Lisa: So, one day at a time, one step at a time kind of mentality. Just one foot in front of the other.

Lisa: Well, that ties back to the eating disorder episode, doesn’t it? You were unreasonably thrilled by that job.

Gabe: Yeah, yeah, I didn’t talk anything about the money or the benefits or the stability or that they were nice to me or that it was close to my house. Nope, just the free food.

Lisa: Perhaps not the best example. Anyway.

Gabe: But it did work for me and it got me to where I am today.

Lisa: It got you out of the house.

Gabe: Well, it got me out of the house. But what I wanted was what I have now. What I wanted was to go from nothing to what I have at this moment right now. And that was unreasonable.

Lisa: Yeah, you can’t do that.

Lisa: The point is step by step. Not all at once, you can’t get there in one fell swoop.

Lisa: You really loved that place.

Gabe: It was in a mediocre section of town. It’s not the bad section, but not, you know. Lisa and I, when we were married, we had dual income. Mostly Lisa income.

Lisa: We lived in the good section.

Gabe: Your exact words were, you rubbed our faces in your success. And when I thought about it, I was like, yeah, I did.

Lisa: We didn’t think you could do it and you did.

Gabe: How you like me now?

Lisa: You were a good sport.

Lisa: Even started cleaning your place. It was amazing.

Gabe: I did have the magic hamper. Lisa still did my laundry. That was pretty cool.

Lisa: He got it at Ikea.

Lisa: And eventually he started trying to test it. How much could he put it that hamper? Just how far could you push that? Yeah.

Gabe: One day a week, my sheets would automatically change on my bed and it would be made.

Lisa: It was a magic apartment.

Lisa: You were helping me, too.

Gabe: Oh, yeah, we were trading. But,

Lisa: Yeah. We traded.

Gabe: I did. I did. You couldn’t lift anything. Which really slowed down your ability to clean my apartment, I might add.

Lisa: Yeah, I know, I know. Almost as if that inspired you to start cleaning yourself.

Lisa: What? Why does that even exist? No. We’ll be here for the rest of our lives talking about why DustBusters suck.

Gabe: We’ll be right back after these messages.

Gabe: And we’re back discussing the wisdom of self-help clichés.

Gabe: And not for nothing, you don’t know.

Lisa: Well, that’s true, yeah. Your expectations could be completely wrong, and won’t you be surprised?

Gabe: Like you were, Lisa, when I just became this.

Lisa: You did not believe you could do it. That is not true.

Gabe: I did believe that I could do it or I would’ve.

Lisa: Did you really?

Gabe: Yes. What I said was that.

Lisa: You didn’t say it at the time.

Lisa: Ok.

Lisa: Thinking back on it now, I don’t remember it that way, but there was a lot going on. So, I don’t know.

Lisa: And implode.

Lisa: You make me sound bad when I say it that way.

Gabe: You wanted a severely mentally ill man who didn’t get better.

Lisa: No.

Gabe: In your house forever?

Gabe: Lisa, I want to switch gears a little bit and talk about, we lived together.

Lisa: Yeah, well, we were married.

Lisa: Ok.

Lisa: Ok, OK.

Lisa: I’m uncomfortable with you saying I didn’t believe in you, although that is accurate. Maybe I’m just uncomfortable in being portrayed in a way that I feel is negative.

Gabe: I know that you don’t like the truth, but, you know, this is a no bullshit thing and you did not believe in me.

Lisa: I did not.

Gabe: You were positive that you were going to have to bail me out of some sort of trouble.

Lisa: I was.

Gabe: No doubt with time, energy and money and pick up the pieces of whatever I destroyed.

Lisa: Yes. Yes, I was positive of it.

Gabe: And I told you, in no uncertain terms that I would be fine and that you were wrong.

Lisa: I don’t think that’s accurate, you actually did not have that much confidence, at least not that you were expressing to me.

Gabe: I had enough confidence that I did it.

Lisa: That’s true, but it’s not like you were saying, I am a winner. You know what I mean? It’s not like you had this mindset.

Gabe: Who cares? My actions projected confidence. You told me that I would fail. Nobody told me that I would succeed. And I did it anyway.

Lisa: Yes, you did.

Lisa: Did I do that?

Gabe: Yes. What made you stop?

Gabe: Side note, POD stands for Pretty Okay Domicile.

Lisa: It was nice.

Gabe: Because my high school bedroom was pit of despair, which I also called a POD. I was trying to be trying to use my coping skills and.

Lisa: You were reframing.

Gabe: Yeah, I was reframing. I like that.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: Well, right. Yeah.

Gabe: And I think that’s a powerful message, right? For people listening, like how can I get my family on board to support me? You might have to take the first several steps of the journey.

Lisa: On your own.

Lisa: Maybe.

Gabe: Until after you’ve stuck to your guns for a while?

Gabe: I’m not saying that you were wrong for not believing in me. I’m just saying that I think there’s a lot of people that believe that the people in their lives have given up on them.

Lisa: Maybe they have.

Gabe: I’m just trying to get your side of the story out. Why did you not believe in me? And you’re like,

Lisa: Right.

Lisa: Right, because this failure gave him inspiration. Or his coach’s lack of faith in him is the extra push for him to practice, etc.

Lisa: But he wasn’t the great yet.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: Sorry world.

Gabe: It’s interesting, this idea of it’s not all about us. Like that’s kind of a new concept.

Lisa: Yeah, almost like you’re not the focus of the universe.

Gabe: But it’s easy, though, right? It didn’t occur to me that.

Lisa: Is that actually true? It honestly didn’t occur?

Gabe: No, of course not. I was only thinking about myself

Lisa: Like, you honestly didn’t think about that?

Gabe: No, I was busy only thinking about myself. Why would I?

Lisa: Well, that makes a lot more sense.

Gabe: And I think that if you thought about it, it wouldn’t occur to you that I would have thought about anybody other than myself. I was very wrapped up in everything that was going on in my life.

Lisa: Right. Well, that’s what mental illness is. You’re trapped in your own sphere, in your own mind.

Lisa: Again.

Gabe: I’m gonna have to worry. Time, energy, money.

Lisa: Money.

Gabe: This is emotionally devastating when he fails. I must prevent this and protect myself.

Lisa: Yeah, but you also weren’t focused on not

Gabe: Yeah, probably.

Lisa: It’s not like you were going out of your way to not hurt my feelings.

Lisa: Well, maybe this goes back to your point of you should start with baby steps,

Gabe: Yeah, it does.

Gabe: Hey, at some point, you’ve got to make the leap. I think it’s a leap. I think it is a leap for folks to believe that their loved ones can do it.

Gabe: I hear ya. But just do we want the message to be don’t believe in your loved ones, don’t believe that they can ever get better? I mean, how many times is it reasonable.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: It’s easier said than done, but try to step outside of yourself and see it from someone else’s perspective.

Gabe: That is a difficult concept for people.

Lisa: Well, obviously, yeah.

Gabe: And again, it’s not a mental illness thing, right, Lisa?

Lisa: Yeah. That’s everybody, yeah.

Gabe: People have a hard time seeing things from other people’s perspectives.

Lisa: Yes, obviously. Otherwise, we the world, would be so much different.

Lisa: Gabe, the only reason we’re fighting is because you’re just always way too hard on the podcast.

Gabe: Well, he’s got to learn.

Lisa: He needs your love.

Gabe: I want the podcast to get into a good college and not be spoiled like my other podcast.

Lisa: You know, sometimes you just need to sit around and play a game. It doesn’t always have to be high stakes. My advice is good.

Lisa: Don’t forget about the outtake, and we’ll see you next Tuesday.

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ashley-unicorn · 4 years ago

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Podcast: Self-Help Cliches Have a Peculiar Value

When you struggle with mental illness, how much of your behavior, thoughts and emotions do you actually have control over? Is it helpful to feel in control of your life, even when it screws you over?

(Transcript Available Below)

Please Subscribe to Our Show: And We Love Written Reviews!

About The Not Crazy podcast Hosts

Computer Generated Transcript for “Self-Help Cliches” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Gabe: Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the Not Crazy podcast. I’m your host, Gabe Howard, and I am here, as always, with my favorite co-host, Lisa.

Lisa: Hey, everyone. So today’s quote is, you must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself. And that is by Jim Rohn.

Lisa: Mr. Rohn, yeah.

Lisa: It’s extremely condescending from a certain point of view, yes.

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: Should I just cheer up? Like, would that help?

Lisa: You could eat less.

Gabe: Is it like that? Or is there still, is there still wisdom in it, even for folks like us?

Lisa: That’s why we can spend the next however many minutes talking about it, because it’s so deep. There’s so many levels.

Gabe: Oh, is it meta? I know you like things that are meta.

Lisa: I don’t think you understand what the word meta means. No, this is not remotely meta. No.

Gabe: When you said that boxes were mailed in boxes and that was meta,

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: I did laugh. But I have no idea what you’re saying.

Lisa: It’s a box of boxes. Whoa.

Lisa: You do have to be at a certain base level of functioning to even begin to take this advice. But as condescending as it sounds, it is practical.

Lisa: Well, maybe this would be a good time for you to tell the story that inspired today’s podcast.

Gabe: We fought about this for a while.

Lisa: We did.

Lisa: See, that makes no sense. Because I agreed with you.

Gabe: I thought that you were relishing in the idea that I deserved this. That’s my initial thought.

Lisa: Well, what’s up with that? Why did you think that?

Gabe: Because what you said was mean and it was meant to be mean and it was said in anger.

Lisa: Ok. All those things, yes. But I’d also like to say it finally got through to you, and it worked.

Lisa: Who saw that coming? I have to say, that does really annoy me. But I think my original point stands.

Gabe: Listen, here’s the point, I never would have been on that stage to take that cheap shot at you if you hadn’t erupted.

Lisa: Once again, you’re welcome.

Lisa: Counterproductive? Self-destructive?

Lisa: Well, maybe I could have done it in a different way. Hindsight. But also, maybe it wouldn’t have worked if I’d said it nicer.

Gabe: Maybe.

Lisa: Social inequality.

Lisa: And the world was unfair. I want to be very clear on that point. It was unfair. Bad things did happen. But no one cares.

Lisa: What you’re talking about is privilege. Privilege is never having to wonder.

Lisa: Is there a more qualified bricklayer who also applied for the job?

Lisa: You lost it. You couldn’t do it.

Gabe: Lisa, how many times did you have to pick me up?

Lisa: A lot, a lot.

Gabe: Somebody thought I was having a heart attack at a job once because the panic attack was just so.

Gabe: I couldn’t.

Gabe: Yeah.

Lisa: Yeah. No, you had a panic attack and you couldn’t take it. You quit.

Lisa: You got paid well too.

Lisa: The point is that you were trying to go too far, too fast, too soon.

Gabe: Yeah, yeah.

Lisa: She was basically saying that you needed to count the success where you could.

Lisa: So, one day at a time, one step at a time kind of mentality. Just one foot in front of the other.

Lisa: Well, that ties back to the eating disorder episode, doesn’t it? You were unreasonably thrilled by that job.

Gabe: Yeah, yeah, I didn’t talk anything about the money or the benefits or the stability or that they were nice to me or that it was close to my house. Nope, just the free food.

Lisa: Perhaps not the best example. Anyway.

Gabe: But it did work for me and it got me to where I am today.

Lisa: It got you out of the house.

Gabe: Well, it got me out of the house. But what I wanted was what I have now. What I wanted was to go from nothing to what I have at this moment right now. And that was unreasonable.

Lisa: Yeah, you can’t do that.

Lisa: The point is step by step. Not all at once, you can’t get there in one fell swoop.

Lisa: You really loved that place.

Gabe: It was in a mediocre section of town. It’s not the bad section, but not, you know. Lisa and I, when we were married, we had dual income. Mostly Lisa income.

Lisa: We lived in the good section.

Gabe: Your exact words were, you rubbed our faces in your success. And when I thought about it, I was like, yeah, I did.

Lisa: We didn’t think you could do it and you did.

Gabe: How you like me now?

Lisa: You were a good sport.

Lisa: Even started cleaning your place. It was amazing.

Gabe: I did have the magic hamper. Lisa still did my laundry. That was pretty cool.

Lisa: He got it at Ikea.

Lisa: And eventually he started trying to test it. How much could he put it that hamper? Just how far could you push that? Yeah.

Gabe: One day a week, my sheets would automatically change on my bed and it would be made.

Lisa: It was a magic apartment.

Lisa: You were helping me, too.

Gabe: Oh, yeah, we were trading. But,

Lisa: Yeah. We traded.

Gabe: I did. I did. You couldn’t lift anything. Which really slowed down your ability to clean my apartment, I might add.

Lisa: Yeah, I know, I know. Almost as if that inspired you to start cleaning yourself.

Lisa: What? Why does that even exist? No. We’ll be here for the rest of our lives talking about why DustBusters suck.

Gabe: We’ll be right back after these messages.

Gabe: And we’re back discussing the wisdom of self-help clichés.

Gabe: And not for nothing, you don’t know.

Lisa: Well, that’s true, yeah. Your expectations could be completely wrong, and won’t you be surprised?

Gabe: Like you were, Lisa, when I just became this.

Lisa: You did not believe you could do it. That is not true.

Gabe: I did believe that I could do it or I would’ve.

Lisa: Did you really?

Gabe: Yes. What I said was that.

Lisa: You didn’t say it at the time.

Lisa: Ok.

Lisa: Thinking back on it now, I don’t remember it that way, but there was a lot going on. So, I don’t know.

Lisa: And implode.

Lisa: You make me sound bad when I say it that way.

Gabe: You wanted a severely mentally ill man who didn’t get better.

Lisa: No.

Gabe: In your house forever?

Gabe: Lisa, I want to switch gears a little bit and talk about, we lived together.

Lisa: Yeah, well, we were married.

Lisa: Ok.

Lisa: Ok, OK.

Lisa: I’m uncomfortable with you saying I didn’t believe in you, although that is accurate. Maybe I’m just uncomfortable in being portrayed in a way that I feel is negative.

Gabe: I know that you don’t like the truth, but, you know, this is a no bullshit thing and you did not believe in me.

Lisa: I did not.

Gabe: You were positive that you were going to have to bail me out of some sort of trouble.

Lisa: I was.

Gabe: No doubt with time, energy and money and pick up the pieces of whatever I destroyed.

Lisa: Yes. Yes, I was positive of it.

Gabe: And I told you, in no uncertain terms that I would be fine and that you were wrong.

Lisa: I don’t think that’s accurate, you actually did not have that much confidence, at least not that you were expressing to me.

Gabe: I had enough confidence that I did it.

Lisa: That’s true, but it’s not like you were saying, I am a winner. You know what I mean? It’s not like you had this mindset.

Gabe: Who cares? My actions projected confidence. You told me that I would fail. Nobody told me that I would succeed. And I did it anyway.

Lisa: Yes, you did.

Lisa: Did I do that?

Gabe: Yes. What made you stop?

Gabe: Side note, POD stands for Pretty Okay Domicile.

Lisa: It was nice.

Gabe: Because my high school bedroom was pit of despair, which I also called a POD. I was trying to be trying to use my coping skills and.

Lisa: You were reframing.

Gabe: Yeah, I was reframing. I like that.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: Well, right. Yeah.

Gabe: And I think that’s a powerful message, right? For people listening, like how can I get my family on board to support me? You might have to take the first several steps of the journey.

Lisa: On your own.

Lisa: Maybe.

Gabe: Until after you’ve stuck to your guns for a while?

Gabe: I’m not saying that you were wrong for not believing in me. I’m just saying that I think there’s a lot of people that believe that the people in their lives have given up on them.

Lisa: Maybe they have.

Gabe: I’m just trying to get your side of the story out. Why did you not believe in me? And you’re like,

Lisa: Right.

Lisa: Right, because this failure gave him inspiration. Or his coach’s lack of faith in him is the extra push for him to practice, etc.

Lisa: But he wasn’t the great yet.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: Sorry world.

Gabe: It’s interesting, this idea of it’s not all about us. Like that’s kind of a new concept.

Lisa: Yeah, almost like you’re not the focus of the universe.

Gabe: But it’s easy, though, right? It didn’t occur to me that.

Lisa: Is that actually true? It honestly didn’t occur?

Gabe: No, of course not. I was only thinking about myself

Lisa: Like, you honestly didn’t think about that?

Gabe: No, I was busy only thinking about myself. Why would I?

Lisa: Well, that makes a lot more sense.

Gabe: And I think that if you thought about it, it wouldn’t occur to you that I would have thought about anybody other than myself. I was very wrapped up in everything that was going on in my life.

Lisa: Right. Well, that’s what mental illness is. You’re trapped in your own sphere, in your own mind.

Lisa: Again.

Gabe: I’m gonna have to worry. Time, energy, money.

Lisa: Money.

Gabe: This is emotionally devastating when he fails. I must prevent this and protect myself.

Lisa: Yeah, but you also weren’t focused on not

Gabe: Yeah, probably.

Lisa: It’s not like you were going out of your way to not hurt my feelings.

Lisa: Well, maybe this goes back to your point of you should start with baby steps,

Gabe: Yeah, it does.

Gabe: Hey, at some point, you’ve got to make the leap. I think it’s a leap. I think it is a leap for folks to believe that their loved ones can do it.

Gabe: I hear ya. But just do we want the message to be don’t believe in your loved ones, don’t believe that they can ever get better? I mean, how many times is it reasonable.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: It’s easier said than done, but try to step outside of yourself and see it from someone else’s perspective.

Gabe: That is a difficult concept for people.

Lisa: Well, obviously, yeah.

Gabe: And again, it’s not a mental illness thing, right, Lisa?

Lisa: Yeah. That’s everybody, yeah.

Gabe: People have a hard time seeing things from other people’s perspectives.

Lisa: Yes, obviously. Otherwise, we the world, would be so much different.

Lisa: Gabe, the only reason we’re fighting is because you’re just always way too hard on the podcast.

Gabe: Well, he’s got to learn.

Lisa: He needs your love.

Gabe: I want the podcast to get into a good college and not be spoiled like my other podcast.

Lisa: You know, sometimes you just need to sit around and play a game. It doesn’t always have to be high stakes. My advice is good.

Lisa: Don’t forget about the outtake, and we’ll see you next Tuesday.

from https://ift.tt/2EjwxPk Check out https://daniejadkins.wordpress.com/

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erraticfairy · 4 years ago

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Podcast: Self-Help Cliches Have a Peculiar Value

When you struggle with mental illness, how much of your behavior, thoughts and emotions do you actually have control over? Is it helpful to feel in control of your life, even when it screws you over?

(Transcript Available Below)

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About The Not Crazy podcast Hosts

Computer Generated Transcript for “Self-Help Cliches” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Gabe: Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the Not Crazy podcast. I’m your host, Gabe Howard, and I am here, as always, with my favorite co-host, Lisa.

Lisa: Hey, everyone. So today’s quote is, you must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself. And that is by Jim Rohn.

Lisa: Mr. Rohn, yeah.

Lisa: It’s extremely condescending from a certain point of view, yes.

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: Should I just cheer up? Like, would that help?

Lisa: You could eat less.

Gabe: Is it like that? Or is there still, is there still wisdom in it, even for folks like us?

Lisa: That’s why we can spend the next however many minutes talking about it, because it’s so deep. There’s so many levels.

Gabe: Oh, is it meta? I know you like things that are meta.

Lisa: I don’t think you understand what the word meta means. No, this is not remotely meta. No.

Gabe: When you said that boxes were mailed in boxes and that was meta,

Lisa: Right.

Gabe: I did laugh. But I have no idea what you’re saying.

Lisa: It’s a box of boxes. Whoa.

Lisa: You do have to be at a certain base level of functioning to even begin to take this advice. But as condescending as it sounds, it is practical.

Lisa: Well, maybe this would be a good time for you to tell the story that inspired today’s podcast.

Gabe: We fought about this for a while.

Lisa: We did.

Lisa: See, that makes no sense. Because I agreed with you.

Gabe: I thought that you were relishing in the idea that I deserved this. That’s my initial thought.

Lisa: Well, what’s up with that? Why did you think that?

Gabe: Because what you said was mean and it was meant to be mean and it was said in anger.

Lisa: Ok. All those things, yes. But I’d also like to say it finally got through to you, and it worked.

Lisa: Who saw that coming? I have to say, that does really annoy me. But I think my original point stands.

Gabe: Listen, here’s the point, I never would have been on that stage to take that cheap shot at you if you hadn’t erupted.

Lisa: Once again, you’re welcome.

Lisa: Counterproductive? Self-destructive?

Lisa: Well, maybe I could have done it in a different way. Hindsight. But also, maybe it wouldn’t have worked if I’d said it nicer.

Gabe: Maybe.

Lisa: Social inequality.

Lisa: And the world was unfair. I want to be very clear on that point. It was unfair. Bad things did happen. But no one cares.

Lisa: What you’re talking about is privilege. Privilege is never having to wonder.

Lisa: Is there a more qualified bricklayer who also applied for the job?

Lisa: You lost it. You couldn’t do it.

Gabe: Lisa, how many times did you have to pick me up?

Lisa: A lot, a lot.

Gabe: Somebody thought I was having a heart attack at a job once because the panic attack was just so.

Gabe: I couldn’t.

Gabe: Yeah.

Lisa: Yeah. No, you had a panic attack and you couldn’t take it. You quit.

Lisa: You got paid well too.

Lisa: The point is that you were trying to go too far, too fast, too soon.

Gabe: Yeah, yeah.

Lisa: She was basically saying that you needed to count the success where you could.

Lisa: So, one day at a time, one step at a time kind of mentality. Just one foot in front of the other.

Lisa: Well, that ties back to the eating disorder episode, doesn’t it? You were unreasonably thrilled by that job.

Gabe: Yeah, yeah, I didn’t talk anything about the money or the benefits or the stability or that they were nice to me or that it was close to my house. Nope, just the free food.

Lisa: Perhaps not the best example. Anyway.

Gabe: But it did work for me and it got me to where I am today.

Lisa: It got you out of the house.

Gabe: Well, it got me out of the house. But what I wanted was what I have now. What I wanted was to go from nothing to what I have at this moment right now. And that was unreasonable.

Lisa: Yeah, you can’t do that.

Lisa: The point is step by step. Not all at once, you can’t get there in one fell swoop.

Lisa: You really loved that place.

Gabe: It was in a mediocre section of town. It’s not the bad section, but not, you know. Lisa and I, when we were married, we had dual income. Mostly Lisa income.

Lisa: We lived in the good section.

Gabe: Your exact words were, you rubbed our faces in your success. And when I thought about it, I was like, yeah, I did.

Lisa: We didn’t think you could do it and you did.

Gabe: How you like me now?

Lisa: You were a good sport.

Lisa: Even started cleaning your place. It was amazing.

Gabe: I did have the magic hamper. Lisa still did my laundry. That was pretty cool.

Lisa: He got it at Ikea.

Lisa: And eventually he started trying to test it. How much could he put it that hamper? Just how far could you push that? Yeah.

Gabe: One day a week, my sheets would automatically change on my bed and it would be made.

Lisa: It was a magic apartment.

Lisa: You were helping me, too.

Gabe: Oh, yeah, we were trading. But,

Lisa: Yeah. We traded.

Gabe: I did. I did. You couldn’t lift anything. Which really slowed down your ability to clean my apartment, I might add.

Lisa: Yeah, I know, I know. Almost as if that inspired you to start cleaning yourself.

Lisa: What? Why does that even exist? No. We’ll be here for the rest of our lives talking about why DustBusters suck.

Gabe: We’ll be right back after these messages.

Gabe: And we’re back discussing the wisdom of self-help clichés.

Gabe: And not for nothing, you don’t know.

Lisa: Well, that’s true, yeah. Your expectations could be completely wrong, and won’t you be surprised?

Gabe: Like you were, Lisa, when I just became this.

Lisa: You did not believe you could do it. That is not true.

Gabe: I did believe that I could do it or I would’ve.

Lisa: Did you really?

Gabe: Yes. What I said was that.

Lisa: You didn’t say it at the time.

Lisa: Ok.

Lisa: Thinking back on it now, I don’t remember it that way, but there was a lot going on. So, I don’t know.

Lisa: And implode.

Lisa: You make me sound bad when I say it that way.

Gabe: You wanted a severely mentally ill man who didn’t get better.

Lisa: No.

Gabe: In your house forever?

Gabe: Lisa, I want to switch gears a little bit and talk about, we lived together.

Lisa: Yeah, well, we were married.

Lisa: Ok.

Lisa: Ok, OK.

Lisa: I’m uncomfortable with you saying I didn’t believe in you, although that is accurate. Maybe I’m just uncomfortable in being portrayed in a way that I feel is negative.

Gabe: I know that you don’t like the truth, but, you know, this is a no bullshit thing and you did not believe in me.

Lisa: I did not.

Gabe: You were positive that you were going to have to bail me out of some sort of trouble.

Lisa: I was.

Gabe: No doubt with time, energy and money and pick up the pieces of whatever I destroyed.

Lisa: Yes. Yes, I was positive of it.

Gabe: And I told you, in no uncertain terms that I would be fine and that you were wrong.

Lisa: I don’t think that’s accurate, you actually did not have that much confidence, at least not that you were expressing to me.

Gabe: I had enough confidence that I did it.

Lisa: That’s true, but it’s not like you were saying, I am a winner. You know what I mean? It’s not like you had this mindset.

Gabe: Who cares? My actions projected confidence. You told me that I would fail. Nobody told me that I would succeed. And I did it anyway.

Lisa: Yes, you did.

Lisa: Did I do that?

Gabe: Yes. What made you stop?

Gabe: Side note, POD stands for Pretty Okay Domicile.

Lisa: It was nice.

Gabe: Because my high school bedroom was pit of despair, which I also called a POD. I was trying to be trying to use my coping skills and.

Lisa: You were reframing.

Gabe: Yeah, I was reframing. I like that.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: Well, right. Yeah.

Gabe: And I think that’s a powerful message, right? For people listening, like how can I get my family on board to support me? You might have to take the first several steps of the journey.

Lisa: On your own.

Lisa: Maybe.

Gabe: Until after you’ve stuck to your guns for a while?

Gabe: I’m not saying that you were wrong for not believing in me. I’m just saying that I think there’s a lot of people that believe that the people in their lives have given up on them.

Lisa: Maybe they have.

Gabe: I’m just trying to get your side of the story out. Why did you not believe in me? And you’re like,

Lisa: Right.

Lisa: Right, because this failure gave him inspiration. Or his coach’s lack of faith in him is the extra push for him to practice, etc.

Lisa: But he wasn’t the great yet.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: Sorry world.

Gabe: It’s interesting, this idea of it’s not all about us. Like that’s kind of a new concept.

Lisa: Yeah, almost like you’re not the focus of the universe.

Gabe: But it’s easy, though, right? It didn’t occur to me that.

Lisa: Is that actually true? It honestly didn’t occur?

Gabe: No, of course not. I was only thinking about myself

Lisa: Like, you honestly didn’t think about that?

Gabe: No, I was busy only thinking about myself. Why would I?

Lisa: Well, that makes a lot more sense.

Gabe: And I think that if you thought about it, it wouldn’t occur to you that I would have thought about anybody other than myself. I was very wrapped up in everything that was going on in my life.

Lisa: Right. Well, that’s what mental illness is. You’re trapped in your own sphere, in your own mind.

Lisa: Again.

Gabe: I’m gonna have to worry. Time, energy, money.

Lisa: Money.

Gabe: This is emotionally devastating when he fails. I must prevent this and protect myself.

Lisa: Yeah, but you also weren’t focused on not

Gabe: Yeah, probably.

Lisa: It’s not like you were going out of your way to not hurt my feelings.

Lisa: Well, maybe this goes back to your point of you should start with baby steps,

Gabe: Yeah, it does.

Gabe: Hey, at some point, you’ve got to make the leap. I think it’s a leap. I think it is a leap for folks to believe that their loved ones can do it.

Gabe: I hear ya. But just do we want the message to be don’t believe in your loved ones, don’t believe that they can ever get better? I mean, how many times is it reasonable.

Lisa: Yeah.

Lisa: It’s easier said than done, but try to step outside of yourself and see it from someone else’s perspective.

Gabe: That is a difficult concept for people.

Lisa: Well, obviously, yeah.

Gabe: And again, it’s not a mental illness thing, right, Lisa?

Lisa: Yeah. That’s everybody, yeah.

Gabe: People have a hard time seeing things from other people’s perspectives.

Lisa: Yes, obviously. Otherwise, we the world, would be so much different.

Lisa: Gabe, the only reason we’re fighting is because you’re just always way too hard on the podcast.

Gabe: Well, he’s got to learn.

Lisa: He needs your love.

Gabe: I want the podcast to get into a good college and not be spoiled like my other podcast.

Lisa: You know, sometimes you just need to sit around and play a game. It doesn’t always have to be high stakes. My advice is good.

Lisa: Don’t forget about the outtake, and we’ll see you next Tuesday.

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2EjwxPk via theshiningmind.com

#World of Psychology #child psychology

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phynxrizng · 7 years ago

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DAILY ASTROLOGY REPORTS AND HOROSCOPES FOR, 8-817

Astrology Cafe Daily Astrology ABOUT TODAY DAILY MONTHLY CHART You are here: Home / Daily Astrology / Astrology of Today – Tuesday, August 8, 2017 Astrology of Today – Tuesday, August 8, 2017 Aug 7, 2017 by Annie Leave a Comment The Moon is in Aquarius until 5:55 PM, after which the Moon is in Pisces. The Moon is waning and in its Full phase. The Full Moon (Lunar Eclipse) occurred yesterday in Aquarius, and the Last Quarter Moon will occur on August 14th. Mercury is in its pre-retrograde shadow (Mercury will retrograde from August 12-September 5). Times are EDT. Horoscopes Aries Aries There is excellent energy with you for work projects, health programs, and responsibilities right now, dear Aries. While yesterday’s Lunar Eclipse pulled up a lot of social feelings and emotions, your focus is more practical today. You are looking for extra meaning in the work you do right now, and this motivates you to do your best or to shoot for something bigger. There can be useful, pleasant, and happy conversations and exchanges today. Whatever new information has emerged, you’re ready to tackle it and process things. In fact, the day is quite excellent for sorting things out logically, and it’s best done with a trusted friend or family member. You might also get greater insight into a work or health matter. The Moon moves into your privacy sector this evening, where it will transit for a couple of days, pointing to a need for emotional space. Take a break from the routine and rest your brain. Taurus Taurus Yesterday’s Lunar Eclipse had the effect of magnifying feelings, dear Taurus, and today, you’re ready to sort everything out. Even so, you’re focusing on the more social side of things, and, in fact, creative juices are flowing, and romantic energy is strong. It’s a refreshing day for you on mental levels, and you may discover a new channel for communicating. There is a fair-minded, easy-going, and cooperative energy to the day that keeps you engaged, and you’re likely to enjoy good news or pleasant conversations. In fact, you may be mediating or advising right now. The design elements of a creative project are appealing. Interactions with siblings, neighbors, classmates, love interests, and children are in especially good favor today. The Moon’s move to your social sector tonight puts friendships and happiness goals into sharp focus for the next couple of days. Gemini Gemini While eclipses this month tend to add excitement and sometimes unsettled feelings to your life, dear Gemini, you enjoy some pleasant, supportive aspects, particularly along the lines of emotional health, family life, security, finances, and practical matters. Deep thinking sessions and conversations are excellent for finding solutions, coming to agreements, and enjoying clarity. An upcoming Mercury retrograde, beginning on the 12th, suggests some looking to the past for answers and perhaps some turnarounds, but you’ll find that solutions are easy to come by today. People are finding you easy to talk to now. The Moon’s move to the top of your solar chart this evening points to a shift of attention to your larger goals and responsibilities. Cancer Cancer You can be in an excellent position of arbiter today, dear Cancer. You seem to instinctively know how to bring others together harmoniously right now. As well, your appeal is high, and others are more likely to find you easy to talk to and listen to right now. People respond to you warmly and appreciate your fairness and concern. There is still a lot of electric buzz in the air generated by yesterday’s Lunar Eclipse, with more of this to come as a total Solar Eclipse will occur in two weeks. However, today is good for thinking, conversing, and solving problems with a generally cool head. The Moon’s move to your spirit and adventure sector this evening shifts your attention to learning, sharing, and living spiritedly. Leo Leo Your determination to succeed or your excellent long-term vision is particularly attractive right now, dear Leo, and can enhance or attract a relationship. Money matters are fortunate today, and conversations can lead to important discoveries. You have a healing touch with others, helping them make sense out of recent problems or obstacles. You’re willing to support and guide someone now, and it’s appreciated! A project may turn a corner or begin to take off, and you’re feeling positive about it. Your mind is open to new possibilities, and you feel freer to explore ideas and projects you love. Thoughts and conversations about the past, money, and business are super useful today. Virgo Virgo This is an excellent day for connecting with others, dear Virgo, even with the stronger focus on work and health matters these days. You can also be particularly successful working through recent problems or difficulties. Focusing on the bigger picture helps you to frame things in a new and even comforting way. This is an excellent time for appreciating your connections and friendships, even if they are sometimes heavy these days. Recent criticisms may lead to a new and improved approach. Others are recognizing your talent for putting everyone at ease, as well as your honest, fair, and above board personality. Today is sociable and bright, so take advantage. An entirely new activity can help bring emotional refreshment. The Moon’s move into your partnership sector this evening reinforces a more social focus in the next couple of days. Libra Libra While there is a bigger focus on excitement, relationships, and leisure right now, dear Libra, you’re in great shape for practical thinking and problem-solving today. The day favors an intellectual or philosophical approach, as well as big picture thinking that allows you to see patterns, particularly related to career, business, or long-term life path goals. This is a time for looking at the positive side of things. You are emotionally resilient today, particularly if you have someone to talk to about your experiences, so take advantage. Opening yourself up to others’ opinions and advice can be rewarding now. You have greater faith that things will fall into place, and you’re very willing to put in the effort to make things happen. A nice feeling of dedication to your work or long-term plans can be experienced now. Scorpio Scorpio While you’re still rather focused on home and family matters, this can be a good day for positive, forward-looking exchanges or meetings with friends or associates, dear Scorpio. A recent problem can appear resolvable after a conversation or a look at the bigger picture. This is a time for feeding your spirit. You’ll have the most success getting through to others if you draw heavily on your powers of reasoning and compromise. While the Lunar Eclipse yesterday heightened emotions, today brings some useful clarity and reason. There is a rather free flow of energy, and excellent support is with you — you’re feeling in tune with people in your life. Dedication to a long-term project or friendship can be in focus and highly satisfying. Sagittarius Sagittarius It’s a real time to get to the heart of a problem, dear Sagittarius. Yesterday’s Lunar Eclipse may have pulled up strong feelings and realizations, and we’re a little more rational and transparent today, while still motivated and passionate. You can benefit from getting on the same page with someone who shares your visions or understands your goals. There can be a feeling of overcoming an obstacle that seemed difficult to get over, but now appears considerably more manageable. This is a good time for connecting with people for business or banking. People are sharing good advice. You might readily throw yourself into researching or exploring a subject more deeply. The Moon’s move into your home and family sector this evening stimulates a desire for more comfort and familiarity in your life for the next couple of days. Capricorn Capricorn Energies are suitable for communicating and connecting today, dear Capricorn. You’re seeking things that will take you away from the routine, or at least ideas or concepts that excite you mentally. You’re creating situations that broaden your experience or expand your thinking. Educational, legal, or travel plans might come together now, although Mercury’s upcoming retrograde cycle beginning on the 12th may lead to some second-guessing along these lines. With a conversation or further thought, problems seem far more manageable now. There’s fair-minded and cooperative energy in the air now, and you’re inclined to see the bigger picture. A significant other or good friend may be integral to seeing this light at the end of the tunnel. You may enjoy a conversation that helps you identify patterns and connections. Relationships improve with this kind of sharing. Aquarius Aquarius Yesterday’s Lunar Eclipse opened up the airwaves, dear Aquarius, and you’re still riding on this energy. However, today you’re bringing things down to earth. You are exceptionally resourceful today, and your ability to strategize and plan well comes to the fore. It suddenly makes more sense to do so than to jump ahead impulsively. Today is about working through problems by identifying patterns, and applying some logic to a tricky situation is quite helpful, even if this approach doesn’t always work for you. Plans related to business or financials can be made now, and quite successfully, as well as personal goals that are designed to empower you. However, keep in mind that it’s best to keep things on the drawing board now as we are in between eclipses and Mercury will turn retrograde for a few weeks beginning on the 12th. This doesn’t mean that you can’t play with possibilities. The Moon continues to move through your sign until evening, and your emotional needs are in strong focus. Pisces Pisces A significant person in your life can help build your confidence or push you to do something you’ve always wanted to do, dear Pisces. Conversations can be motivating. Others are encouraging, and you can be feeling pleasantly dedicated. This is also a fine time for getting over a hump through a connection or conversation with a partner or lover, although you may revisit these things later when Mercury retrogrades from the 12th forward. Creative work can thrive with reasonable ideas, and you might reach a good perspective on romantic connections. The Moon in your privacy sector until evening encourages some form of healthy retreat, after which the Moon is in your sign for a couple of days, and you crave a more direct connection to the world around you. You’re focusing less on flaws and more on those things that lift your spirits. * Remember to read horoscopes for your Ascendant sign and Sun sign. If you don’t know your Ascendant sign (and you know your birth time), you can look it up here. If Your Birthday is August 8th, If Today is Your Birthday full horoscope here. Astrology of Today – The Details: If you’re astrologically inclined and interested in the details of the Astrology of today, here are some of the factors considered in the forecasts (for the astrology of the week, see This Week in Astrology): Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 5:55 pm Event: Moon enters Pisces Description: The Moon in Pisces A time to observe, feel, and process. We may pay special attention to our dreams, both of the night and day variety, and the subtle areas of our lives. Focusing on creativity, philanthropy, spirituality, and artistry can be beneficial. Build your intuition, slow down and rest. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 3:07 pm Event: Moon goes void of course Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 1:39 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Sat Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Saturn An auspicious time for any project demanding endurance or tolerance. Also good for establishing new habits and rituals. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 6:43 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqq Ven Description: Transiting Moon SesquiSquare Transiting Venus We can feel a little out of sorts. Our needs for pleasure, love, or entertainment may be at odds with our needs for comfort and familiarity, and we can be on the fence about what to do next. Overspending or overeating is possible. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 6:55 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Opp Nod Description: Transiting Moon Opposition Transiting North Node We can be sticking with what’s familiar instead of reaching out and challenging ourselves now. This can be a turning point for out with the old and in with the new. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 6:55 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cpl Nod Description: Transiting Moon ContraParallel Transiting North Node Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 12:24 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqq Cer Description: Transiting Moon SesquiSquare Transiting Ceres There may be difficulties giving or receiving affection, care, concern, and nurturing. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 3:07 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Ura Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Uranus We are open to new ideas. A break in the routine is pleasing now. We could be experimenting with new ideas or feelings. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 4:53 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cpl Ves Description: Transiting Moon ContraParallel Transiting Vesta Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 5:55 pm Event: Tr-Na Mon Cnj Pis Description: Transiting Moon Entering Pisces A time to observe, feel, and process. We may pay special attention to our dreams, both of the night and day variety, and the subtle areas of our lives. Focusing on creativity, philanthropy, spirituality, and artistry can be beneficial. Build your intuition, slow down and rest. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 10:30 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Plu Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Pluto Deeper feelings emerge suddenly, and possibly in a disruptive way. We may be over-reacting or going to extremes. Wait for the tension to subside before taking action. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 11:52 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqq Jup Description: Transiting Moon SesquiSquare Transiting Jupiter Time to show some restraint. Grandiosity is not appealing. Neither is excess. Practice self-control. Self-indulgence is more likely now. We’re not as inclined to consider the consequences of over-eating, over-drinking, or overdoing in general. We may be acting in a haughty manner. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 0:37 am Event: Tr-Tr Mer Tri Pal Description: Transiting Mercury Trine Transiting Pallas We are expressing ourselves more clearly and are more able to instruct others. There is a pronounced ability to order our thoughts and ideas and to recognize patterns. We can enjoy making plans, lists, and connections now. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 8:55 am Event: Tr-Tr Ven SSq Nod Description: Transiting Venus SemiSquare Transiting North Node We may be re-evaluating relationships in terms of whether or not they are contributing to our personal growth. There could be some disagreeableness or uncertainty. Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 4:05 pm Event: Tr-Tr Ven Cpl Sat Description: Transiting Venus ContraParallel Transiting Saturn Date & Time: Aug 8 2017 6:49 am Event: Tr Nod D Description: Transiting North Node Stationary Strong Signs, Elements, Modes BALANCE OF SIGNS LEO STRONG Self-confident, generous, warm-hearted, powerful leader, dramatic. Can be overly proud, vain, extravagant, arrogant. AQUARIUS STRONG Humanitarian, innovative, group conscious, progressive, serving others. Can be rebellious, eccentric, aloof, emotionally superficial, overly extroverted. BALANCE OF ELEMENTS FIRE STRONG Fire is enthusiastic, dynamic, and spontaneous, but lacks reflection. We are more courageous and adventurous now, with a tendency to act before thinking. There is little concern about what happened in the past. We are competitive and possibly impatient or bored easily. BALANCE OF MODES The modes are balanced. LUNAR PHASE: FULL MOON Moon 180 to 135 degrees behind the Sun. We are concerned mainly with the nature of relationships and are made aware of recent imbalances. Something can come to fruition. Our concern is not limited to personal relationships, but relationships of all kinds. Our cards are on the table. The following aspects (major only) and positions are at noon (EDT) on August 8th: Note that when an aspect is applying, it has not yet happened but is within orb – it’s pending. When an aspect is separating, it has already happened/perfected and is moving away from the aspect. Depending on the speed of the planet/body involved, the aspect will have perfected–or will perfect–in a matter of hours (often the case with the Moon), days, months, and possibly years in the case of the very slow-moving outer planets and bodies. Note that the Moon moves at a rate of approximately one degree every 2 hours, so that if an aspect involving the Moon is applying and has an orb of 5 degrees, the aspect will perfect (be exact) in about 10 hours. If the Moon is separating from an aspect with an orb of 2 degrees, it has already formed said aspect approximately 4 hours ago (since the following are positions at noon today, then it would have occurred at about 8 AM today). **I suggest paying close attention to applying aspects. The energy of the aspect builds as it gets closer to exact. Once an aspect involving inner planets has happened, it’s over. Separating aspects are good to know for context, but in terms of energy that is with us today, applying aspects are most important. (This is the case for daily astrology influences involving inner planets, which pass quickly, and not natal astrology aspects, which are with us for a lifetime). THE MOON THE MOON IN AQUARIUS You feel secure with intellect rather than emotions. You may be aloof from emotions, or distrust emotions as irrational and unpredictable. You may have viewed your mother as emotionally erratic. 27TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Left fibula Sabian Symbol: An ancient pottery bowl filled with violets. ASPECTS OF THE MOON SEXTILE URANUS Orb 1°39′ Applying We could be experimenting with new ideas or feelings. There can be chance meetings, events that occur that open our hearts or our emotional awareness. OPPOSITION THE NORTH NODE Orb 2°40′ Separating We can be sticking with what’s familiar instead of reaching out and challenging ourselves now. CONJUNCTION THE SOUTH NODE Orb 2°40′ Separating We can be sticking with what’s familiar instead of reaching out and challenging ourselves now. THE SUN THE SUN IN LEO You are good-hearted, have a sunny personality, and a strong need for attention. You have a generous nature, but can be arrogant. 17TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Right auricle Sabian Symbol: Volunteer church choir makes social event of rehearsal. ASPECTS OF THE SUN CONJUNCTION MARS Orb 3°58′ Separating We are more direct, spontaneous, and impulsive now, but can also be too self-focused and impatient. SEXTILE JUPITER Orb 1°47′ Applying There can be a good, nice, and healthy feeling of optimism and confidence now. We might promote, publish, advertise, or market with greater success. We are generous and tolerant, giving people the benefit of the doubt, expecting the best from others and from ourselves. We can see the big picture. TRINE SATURN Orb 5°07′ Applying We are taking pride in our responsibilities or performance. This can be a time of steady progress and increased self-discipline. We are more inclined to humble ourselves to authority or good advice, and tend to employ traditional methods. QUINCUNX PLUTO Orb 1°08′ Applying We could have a hard time deciding how to proceed about a matter. There may be a moral dilemma now, or a tough decision between taking the high road or the low road. We may be resisting change that is necessary in order to move forward or let go of something. We may be in denial about our own personal power or ambition. CONJUNCTION THE NORTH NODE Orb 7°53′ Applying We might come to realizations of personal or professional truths, and these can propel us forward on a new path, or advance our current goals. People tend to support and assist us now. We might recognize our need for others. This is a good time for setting goals. MERCURY MERCURY IN VIRGO You have a discriminating mind, and can be critical and analytical. You can also become obsessed with detailed knowledge. This may be to your detriment in daily life, although it is very beneficial for doing any kind of research. You like to be precise in your communications with others. 11TH DEGREE OF VIRGO Part of Body: Falciform Sabian Symbol: A boy moulded in his mother’s aspirations for him. ASPECTS OF MERCURY SEXTILE VENUS Orb 1°29′ Applying We are sociable, making connections, dipllomatic, and ready to negotiate. Expressions of affection or clarifications of feelings. OPPOSITION NEPTUNE Orb 2°45′ Applying Our minds open to many different possibilities and options. We can feel inspired or we might be thinking in imaginative or possibly impractical ways. We see beyond physical or material concerns and solutions. There is extra sensitivity now. We may be dealing with deceptions or self-deceptions, and it can be difficult to be discriminating. We may not be seeing the obvious, and instead are imagining more complicated scenarios. TRINE PLUTO Orb 6°37′ Applying This is a good time for serious and determined study and investigation. We are drawn to looking for truths and to unexplored topics and ideas. VENUS VENUS IN CANCER You place emphasis on family relations. You will form strong emotional bonds within your own tribe. You may have an emotional need for financial security. 10TH DEGREE OF CANCER Part of Body: Fundus of stomach Sabian Symbol: A large diamond not completely cut. ASPECTS OF VENUS TRINE NEPTUNE Orb 4°14′ Applying We are more sensitive to others’ needs and wants, and more desirous of harmony, love, beauty, and balance. We are generous, compassionate, open, and vulnerable. Spiritual/emotional concerns trump material ones at this time. MARS MARS IN LEO You have a strong need to express your personal creativity. You may display dramatic and confident behaviour, and like to make an impact on your surroundings. You may also be arrogant. 13TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Right ventricle of heart Sabian Symbol: An old sea captain rocking on the porch of his cottage. ASPECTS OF MARS QUINCUNX NEPTUNE Orb 1°15′ Applying We can feel vaguely discontented and without direction under this influence. The tendency to be careless is also strong now. Poor judgment or laziness can prevent us from realizing our plans. JUPITER JUPITER IN LIBRA You have a strong concern for justice. You are a diplomatic teacher, and express your spiritual values in your relationships. 19TH DEGREE OF LIBRA Part of Body: Calyx major Sabian Symbol: A gang of robbers in hiding. ASPECTS OF JUPITER SEXTILE SATURN Orb 3°19′ Applying You have a chance to be very successful as you are neither profligate nor mean, but have a balance. SQUARE PLUTO Orb 0°38′ Separating You will need to learn to have confidence in yourself even when life deals you a few blows. You range from over confident to completely lacking in confidence. The truth lies somewhere in between. SATURN SATURN IN SAGITTARIUS Saturn in Sagittarius asks us to take on the responsibility of living according to our personal truths and principles — and to be loyal to these. This is a time for turning a critical eye to those beliefs and principles that don’t accurately reflect our authentic selves. (December 23, 2014, to June 14, 2015, then September 17, 2015, to December 20, 2017) 22ND DEGREE OF SAGITTARIUS Part of Body: Right trochanter Sabian Symbol: A laundry. URANUS IN ARIES The urge to start fresh, to break free from restrictive attitudes or circumstances, to totally redesign an area of our lives (or even our personalities), and to gain freedom through independence is strong during this cycle. (May 27, 2010, to August 13, 2010, then March 11th, 2011 to May 15, 2018, then November 6, 2018, to March 6, 2019). 29TH DEGREE OF ARIES Part of Body: Auditory canal Sabian Symbol: A celestial choir singing. NEPTUNE NEPTUNE IN PISCES A long-term influence in which fantasy, imagination, compassion, and spirituality are in stronger focus. (April 4, 2011, to August 4, 2011, then February 3, 2012, to March 30, 2025, then October 22, 2025, to January 26, 2026) 14TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Right cutaneous veins Sabian Symbol: A lady in fox fur. PLUTO PLUTO IN CAPRICORN Tests of our boundaries; breaking down and rebuilding structures and rules. (From January 25, 2008, to June 14, 2008, then November 26, 2008, to March 23, 2023, then June 11, 2023, to January 20, 2024, then September 1, 2024, to November 19, 2024). 18TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Ligaments of right knee Sabian Symbol: The union jack flies from a new british destroyer. Chiron, Major Asteroids, and Moon’s Nodes: in Sign and in Aspect CHIRON CHIRON IN PISCES Strong awareness of our own vulnerabilities and humanity stimulates compassion for others. (April 20 to July 20, 2010, then February 8, 2011, to April 17, 2018, then September 25, 2018, to February 18, 2019). 29TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Toenails of right foot Sabian Symbol: A prism. VESTA IN VIRGO You have a perfectionist streak. You work hard and expect the same from other people. You need to avoid being overly critical. Positively, you have the ability to set up efficient and productive routines at work. 10TH DEGREE OF VIRGO Part of Body: Left hepatic lobe, bile Sabian Symbol: Two heads looking out and beyond the shadows. PALLAS PALLAS IN TAURUS You have the ability to see the beauty in nature and the arts. You have much common sense and wisdom. You may become involved in either healing with your hands, or healing the earth through environmental movements. 11TH DEGREE OF TAURUS Part of Body: Cervical and brachial plexi Sabian Symbol: A woman sprinkling flowers. JUNO JUNO IN CAPRICORN You want a partner who you can respect, and who respects you. You seek long-term commitment and may marry later in life. 4TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Cutaneous nerves of lower leg Sabian Symbol: A party entering a large canoe. CERES CERES IN CANCER Your ability to nurture others is closely linked with your own relationship with your mother. If you had a close and loving relationship with your mother then you will enjoy the same with others in your adult life. If not, you may form dependent relationships. 13TH DEGREE OF CANCER Part of Body: Lesser curvature of stomach Sabian Symbol: One hand slightly flexed with a very prominent thumb. THE NORTH NODE THE NORTH NODE IN LEO This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world. 25TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Pericardium Sabian Symbol: A large camel crossing the desert. THE SOUTH NODE THE SOUTH NODE IN AQUARIUS This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world. 25TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Left tibialis anterior muscle Sabian Symbol: A butterfly with the right wing more perfectly formed. *** CONJUNCTIONS TO SELECT FIXED STARS *** Transits 8 Aug 2017 – Event Chart Aspects to Sun 16°Le17 +15°57′ Cnj 15°Le26 DUBHE Loving but forceful Aspects to Mer 10°Vi49 +04°35′ Cnj 11°Vi33 ZOSMA — A victim or a saviour Aspects to Ven 09°Cn19 +21°56′ Cnj 09°Cn20 ALHENA To have a mission. Aspects to Plu 17°Cp26 -21°35′ Cnj 16°Cp53 RUKBAT Steadiness and strength. SHARE THIS: EmailFacebookTwitterTumblrGoogleReddit Filed Under: Daily Astrology, Today Tagged With: August 8, Mercury trine Pallas, Venus sextile Pallas, Venus sextile Vesta « Astrology of Today – Monday, August 7 2017Astrology of Today – Wednesday, August 9, 2017 » Leave a Reply Search this website … Search Cafe Astrology Cafe Astrology Home Cafe Astrology Free Reports Recent Astrology of Today – Wednesday, August 9, 2017 Astrology of Today – Tuesday, August 8, 2017 Astrology of Today – Monday, August 7 2017 Astrology of Today – Sunday, August 6, 2017 Astrology of Today – Saturday, August 5, 2017 In this post Full Moon‌ Last Quarter Moon‌ The Moon is waning‌ The Moon is void‌ Previous Tags Jupiter Neptune transit Mars-Pluto transit Mars Ceres transit Mars Chiron transit Mars Jupiter transit Mars Neptune transit Mars Pluto transit Mars Saturn transit Mars Uranus transit Mercury Chiron transit Mercury Jupiter transit Mercury Mars transit Mercury Neptune transit Mercury Pluto transit Mercury Saturn transit Mercury semi-square Venus Mercury square Jupiter Mercury square Mars Mercury square Neptune Mercury square Pluto Mercury square Uranus Mercury trine Jupiter Mercury trine Pluto Mercury Uranus transit Mercury Venus transit Sun Chiron transit Sun conjunct Mercury Sun Jupiter transit Sun Mars transit Sun Mercury transit Sun Neptune transit Sun Pluto transit Sun Saturn transit Sun square Neptune Sun Uranus transit Venus-Mars transit Venus Chiron transit Venus Jupiter transit Venus Mars transit Venus Neptune transit Venus Pluto transit Venus Saturn transit Venus sextile Uranus Venus square Saturn Venus Uranus transit Subscribe via Email Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address Email Address Subscribe Current Planetary Positions 8/8/2017 1:58:53 PM Sun 16° Leo 29' 23" Moon 29° Aquarius 29' 50" Mercury 10° Virgo 53' 41" Venus 09° Cancer 34' 29" Mars 12° Leo 26' 49" Jupiter 18° Libra 07' 08" Saturn 21° Sagittarius 24' 12" R Uranus 28° Aries 30' 47" R Neptune 13° Pisces 34' 06" R Pluto 17° Capricorn 26' 09" R Chiron 28° Pisces 14' 26" R TrueNode 24° Leo 11' 02" Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address Email Address Subscribe Categories Archives August 2017 M T W T F S S « Jul 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Copyright © 2017 · Astrology Cafe by Cafe Astrology

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