#take that gary the snail

[gaillol-13]

Attention mfs this is important info about cartoon network and nickelodeon.

So you know how Fred figglehorn (a former youtuber) had movies on nickelodeon, right?

And you know how the Annoying orange (the first vtuber) had a cartoon network show, RIGHT?

SOOOOO

These two videos were technically the first CN and Nickelodeon crossover EVER.

LET THAT SHIT SINK IN FOR A MINUTE.

[scullcrusher101xd]

where were they going

[bibleofficial]

being an adult SUCKS i’m naked standing here in the kitchen searching ‘soup how to’ bc i forgot my towel in the clean laundry bag on other side of the flat

[killa-trav]

no cos i knew today was going to be the worst day ever when this lady comes in TEN FUCKING MINUTES before we open DEMANDING we serve her bearing in mind right we’ve had a big delivery come in that we need to sort through first bc shop floor is tiny right

and then we are out of stock of the uniform item she required n she was like oh u should take into consideration those who are late to uniform shopping it’s not right ur out of stock when schools go back next week MFER ITS UR FAULT U HAVE HAD THE WHOLE OF JULY AND AUGUST TO SORT UR SHIT OUT

[britishsquidward]

Gary fanart :D (BritishSANTAward Day 7)

Today's piece is for autistically_inclined on Instagram, who's favourite episode is "Gary Takes a Bath". Merry Early Christmas!

Thank you all for everything you do by the way, and I'll see you guys tomorrow for Day 8!

[j4gm]

SPOILERS!!! REFERENCES AND EASTER EGGS IN F&C ep. 10: CHEERS

The finale!

Pawn Swan! This was another character who first appeared in Steve Wolfhard's post-finale loredump about the 1000+ world. I never expected to actually see him in the show.

Nuts how this is like the third time we've seen Simon's ass. I love how Shermy is just chilling and playing video games while GOLB lets this random old man take a turn at the wheel.

This establishing shot of Fionnaworld shows that it's very small. By the time it is restored at the end of the episode, this ominous white border is gone and there are more buildings, implying that it became a complete world.

I can't believe Gary was thirsting after Scarab in this situation.

There is a shop called Evergree Flowers; likely a reference to the episode Evergreen.

This shop window advertises that you can learn to kick bugs. Appropriately enough, Cake kicks Scarab through this shop window while in her Godzilla form.

The Betty statue has become GOLBetty.

It should be clear by this point that Casper and Nova are a parallel to Simon and Betty, with all of their decisions being made by Casper with little consideration for Nova due to their unbalanced power dynamic. This is why Simon realises that he should have been more considerate of Betty's dreams, rather than single-mindedly chasing the Enchiridion and the crown.

The credits confirm that genderswapped Ash is named Ashley. I wonder what happened to her after she fell into the void. Probably nothing good.

Poor Marshall never gets to finish his songs. Truly he is the genderswapped Marceline.

The name "GOLBetty" is now canon; Simon uses it in this scene.

I'm not sure what's happening to GOLBetty here. A loose thread to pick up if this story ever gets a continuation, perhaps.

Simon steps through several different universes, including all the ones we saw during this miniseries. I'm not sure what this world full of tiny bears is meant to be.

Some kind of industrial capitalist hell universe.

This is the Water Park Prank artstyle, implying that Water Park Prank takes place in a separate but canon universe. So Water Park Prank is now canonically canonical! (what a ridiculous phrase)

Some kind of Jake universe.

A universe featuring Magwood and his volcano lair, from the episode Evergreen.

The snail! It's not dead after all. And it's a great way of symbolising a return to regular Ooo, as is the reappearance of the smiley butterfly.

This was a strange selection of characters. I hope Jay hasn't left his younger siblings on their own if their dad is dead. At least baby Finn won't have to grow up in Vampworld, though part of me liked imagining what that would have been like.

Fionna mentions that his is her top fantasy. The other two of her top three fantasies were Cake being able to talk and a kingdom made of candy.

She gets a hammer, like she had in the dream sequence at the very beginning of the miniseries.

Kheirosiphon goes back to working in a teashop, just like he did on The Drift before he was imprisoned by Scarab. Also Marshall's outfit here is incredibly gay, it's great.

There is an ad here for a daddy issues themed comedy night. Sounds like Marceline's kind of place.

Prismo's face glitches for a second. Ominous.

Simon definitely needs to move out. This is probably an even more important realisation than coming to understand his influence over Betty.

In the credits of this episode, Simon is finally at peace.

And with that, the miniseries is over! Back to the long wait. Will this be it for Adventure Time? Or is there yet more to come...

[halcome]

Small headcanon about the snails, what if each team dressed up their teammates snails pre-session?

Grian: Dresses up Snumbo, taking extra time to make sure the tie is tied on properly

Mumbo: Cutting sleeves from a doll suit so it fits Snailman and matches Skizz's suit

Skizz: Proudly presenting Gary to the other Spanners with a tiny wig from the costume bin and a very short scarf

Scar: Used his zoo and theme park connections to acquire snail safe paint, painting LDSnailLady's shell a lovely pink

Lizzie: Dressing up SlimeidarityGaming in the cutest tiniest jean jacket and wig combo she could find

Jimmy: Still isn't quite sure how to get eSCARgo to smirk like scar, currently practicing facial expressions with a snail

Gem: Wondering how Grian got Slimeishbeans to be green despite being the same species of snail as the others, decided not to question it

Joel: Buttoning snail overalls onto Geminisnail and using Scar's snail safe paint to paint the shell a pastel orange, indecisive on which flower to use on top

Bdubs: Borrowed a vest and shirt from tango and is trying to fit it onto the shell, trying not to look at Tangastrapod's eyes

Tango: Testing the propeller and parachute on Ethostropod, has yet to start dressing the snail

Etho: Found a toupee in the costume bin and plopped that on Bdubsnail, the snail already had "teeth"

Ren: Hand stitching a tiny bag for InTheLittleShell as well as the rest of the snail's outfit

Martyn: Couldn't find snail sized sunglasses in the costume bin so he borrowed one of Ren's spares, can't stop laughing at how well they fit on Renthesnail's shell

Cleo: Using Scar's snail safe paint to paint iSnail's shell black while talking to impulse as he paint's Scott's snail

Impulse: Using Scar's snail safe paint to paint a tiny rainbow on Smollusk1995's shell, asking for pointers from Cleo on how to keep the lines clean

Scott: Carefully brushing PearlescentSnail's wig, the snail seems bloodthirsty

Pearl: Not sure if what she's looking at is still a snail, currently sewing up a zombie snail in hopes that it is indeed Cleo's

Bigb: Somehow managed to communicate with BigbShell and teach the snail how to dress himself, they're now having a conversation before the murder spree

Based some of these on loose interpretations of the character, so if anyone has a better description of how they go about dressing the snails up I'd love to read it! "@

[dira333]

Sound of Silence - Aone x Reader

Someone, please hand me my Aone - tagging @lemurzsquad and @fuzztacular

There’s a wide berth of empty seats around the man. 

He’s tall, with white hair and the scariest scowl you’ve ever seen on someone’s face.

You walk a little closer, grab a handle not too far from him.

You don’t want him to think that you want to talk - hell no, not at seven in the morning - but you don’t want him to think you’re scared of him either.

He doesn’t seem to notice, so there goes your overthinking.

-

He walks down the same street as you and neither his white hair nor his height help him blend in with the masses.

Suddenly, he stops.

You don’t mean to catch up to him, but you do, stopping just a few steps behind him without meaning to.

You can hear a little kid crying and it’s hard to make out in the hustle of morning commute but you think it might have dropped its plushy into the thick shrubbery this coffee shop calls decoration. 

“Here,” you hear a deep voice say, can’t help but watch as the man pulls the plush out with ease - not at all caring about the branches scratching up his arm - and dusts it off gently, “Everything’s fine.”

He turns to hand the plush - an awkward mix of glitter and snail - back to the child. One look at his face and the crying gets even louder. Oh. Oh no.

“Now, now,” you step in, your voice sweet despite your annoyance. You hate crying kids. “No need to cry. This nice man just saved your little snail. What’s their name, huh?”

The kid, who from this angle looks clearly like a little girl, wipes their nose on their sleeve and blinks up at you. “Gary.”

“Gary, huh?” You cringe inwardly at the name. “How sweet. See, Gary is fine. Our dear friend here saved him.” You turn to take the snail plush from the man, his face close to yours from how he’s bent forward. 

His face might be intense, but his eyes are different from this close. His hands are warm, the skin rough against yours as he hands you the plush. Warmth pools in your stomach and you have to swallow thickly as you turn back around, hand over the plush, and sigh out in relief when the child’s caretaker finally realizes what’s going on. 

“Thank you,” the man says behind you, his voice so deep you feel it vibrating in your bones.

“Anytime.”

“My name…” You turn back, too aware of yourself and him, the space between you and the space around you and- “is Aone.”

“Hi,” you swallow again. He bows. His hair looks soft, like fluffy clouds on a summer day. 

When he comes back up you can see a clear question in his eyes and you find yourself telling him your name without meaning to.

“I need to get to work,” he points out and you straighten. 

“Right, yes, me too.”

To make it even more awkward you keep walking in the same direction for five more minutes only to realize that your office is right across from the construction company he walks into.

-

Every single morning when you step onto the train he’s standing in the middle of the train compartment, leaving the seats for others to take.

Every single morning you take the handle closest to his - without being too close - and try to stare out the window.

It’s nice, not talking. 

You’re not shy, per se, you’ve just always preferred silence.

If only you could keep your eyes on something else things would be perfectly fine.

But you can’t.

It starts with his hair, perfectly dishevelled and different every time you see him.

Today he’s got the faintest hint of a cowlick on his left side. Your hand has reached out before you’ve realized, tucking the rebelling strand behind his ear.

He smiles, just a minute twitch of his lips, but it leaves your knees a little wobbly.

His arms are nice too, thick with muscle, tensing ever so slightly when the train’s coming to a stop and you’re both rattled where you’re standing.

But you like his eyes the best, how expressive they can be even when scowling.

“You good?” You ask quietly when he twitches, looking off to the side for a second. 

He nods, but it doesn’t look convincing. 

“You sure?” 

“Headache,” he explains, stepping to the side when someone walks past. 

The guy, barely older than you, ill-fitting business suit and messy workfolder telling you more than enough, still manages to tumble into Aone.

“Can’t you watch where you’re going,” he asks, tone sharp. Aone’s face twitches again, and a part of your brain tells you that the lound voice probably isn’t helping his headache, but you’ve already started talking.

“Tell that yourself, you mole.”

“Hah?!” He turns to you, clearly surprised someone’s talking back at you.

“Yeah, I was talking to you, you asshat. We’ve been standing here, minding our business for half an hour. It’s not our problem you went out drinking last night and only realized this morning that your presentation isn’t ready yet.”

He pales, stutters something unintelligible and presses his work folder against his chest, almost tripping over his feet when the doors open and he’s pushed toward the exit.

“Sorry,” you turn back to Aone who’s looking at you with a question in his eyes. “I hate guys like this.”

“You can be very mean,” he points out, but he doesn’t sound scandalized. It’s more like a fact.

“Yeah,” you agree, not willing to apologize for it, “I know my face doesn’t fit my tone but that’s not my fault, is it?”

“No.” He smiles again but it’s gone in a heartbeat when a rather sharp stop rattles the two of you again. He’s clearly in pain.

“Do you want to sit?” You ask, pointing your chin at a single free seat at the window. “I know a trick. I’d have to touch the back of your neck though.”

Aone hesitates for a second before he nods. “Alright.”

You follow him to the seat, let him sit down before you step directly in front of him. It’s a little less crowded over here, the older gentleman on his left and the teenage girl on his right absorbed in their phones. 

“Can you hold me?” You ask, voice low. “I’ll use both hands to press into your pressure points so I can’t hold onto the handrails.”

His hands, warm and large and strong, take a hold of your hips and you swallow thickly.

“Lean your head forward. You can rest it against my belly, I don’t mind.”

It’s like that, his temple pressed into your belly, your fingertips digging into the warm, soft skin on his neck, wisps of his hair caressing your skin, that you realize a thing you should have noticed weeks ago: You want him.

You could have stayed like this forever, held up in place by his strong arms while giving back the only thing you can give at the moment. 

But your stop arrives sooner than you want it to and even though you take your time smoothing your hand over his head, a gesture too loving for the short time you know each other, you have to take a step back.

-

There’s something in his eyes that you cannot translate and not enough time to keep looking.

You have to get to work and he has to get to his.

Your stomach is filled with a fizzy warmth and you wonder if it’d be too forward to take his hand.

Aone stops you right where your ways part, one hand on your shoulder.

You can tell that he’s working on the words, mouth not yet moving the way he wants it.

“Aone,” you say, swallowing the nerves, leaving the words on your tongue. “Go out with me? Please?”

His lips twitch into a smile, the biggest you’ve seen on him so far. He nods and moves as if to bow only to press his temple against yours. 

It’s oddly endearing.

Oh…

-

“Visitor!” Someone yells when you open the door to the Gym. 

You’re wearing a pair of kitten heels that you love, the clasp the most annoying thing and you’re not willing to bend down and open them just to walk barefoot on the dirty gym floor, so you stay where you are, in the open door.

Takanobu’s at the other end of the wide space, listening to a guy. From here it’s hard to tell but the way he’s leaning in you’d say he’s agreeing with him.

“Are you looking for someone?” A guy you don’t know comes over. “We usually don’t have visitors as pretty as you.”

“I’d call that a skill issue,” you tell him plainly, “I’m just waiting for Takanobu. But I’m a little early, so all’s good.”

“Aone?” He blinks in rapid succession. “Why?”

You give him your best unimpressed stare. It doesn’t succeed. Damn your sweet features.

“Aone?” Someone asks from the other side of the Gym. You look over to see him jogging toward you.

You can’t help but start smiling, lips pulling upward despite the long day pulling on your limbs.

“Hey,” he doesn’t pull you in, knowing well how much you hate being hugged when he’s all sweaty. But he presses his temple against yours in the sweetest - and sweatiest - greeting. His nose taps against yours too and you can almost read the “Boop” in his eyes.

“I’m going to be ready in a minute,” he promises, “Do you wanna sit down?”

“I don’t want to take off my shoes,” you explain, “It’s no big deal.”

He looks like he wants to say something else, but another voice cuts him off.

“Aone? Who’s that?”

Takanobu turns, mouth working with no words coming out yet again. You haven’t been dating for long and you wonder if this is the first time he gets to introduce you as his girlfriend. 

You give him a second to gather himself but when still no words come out, you realize he’s fighting a losing battle, overthinking instead of speaking.

“You must be new,” you address the guy instead, “I’m his girlfriend.”

“Girl-” his jaw is open, “Friend?”

“Yes, yes, I know you’re unfamiliar with that term, but they exist, don’t worry. Now, if you’d be so nice and get going? We were having a moment here.”

Takanobu touches your shoulder slightly, just a soft touch of his fingertips but you can already feel yourself relax under it, tension slipping off like a too big coat.

“Sorry,” you clear your throat, “I didn’t mean it like that. Long day.”

“Ah,” he chuckles nervously, “I get that. Umm, I’ll get going then. See you around, I guess?”

-

“Cat’s don’t like me,” you explain when Takanobu holds up the tabby he just lured down from the tree. “I’d rather not come closer. I don’t like getting scratched.”

The kitten doesn’t even look that mean, at least from this far away. 

She enjoys the strength of his arms just as much as you do, rubbing her small head against his chin in a way that’s making you jealous… of the cat.

Takanobu holds out his hand, luring you in just like he’d done with the cat minutes before.

You sigh, stepping a little closer. You don’t want to spook the kitten.

His hand takes yours as soon as you’re close enough, bringing it up - to press a kiss against your knuckles.

Heat floods your face, warmth spreading through your body. He smiles that tiny smile you’d almost miss if you didn’t look right and leads your fingertips to gently pat the kittens head. She purrs into the touch.

You’re still warm and tingly all over by the time the kitten finally decides it’s time to head home - you’re pretty sure he wouldn’t have dropped her on his own any time soon - and your hand is warm and safe in his hold as you walk on, enjoying the silence together.

“Do you have cats?” You ask when the restaurant - you picked tonight’s spot - is coming into view.

He shakes his head.

“Do you want cats?”

He nods.

“Dogs too?” His hand twitches around yours and you smile.

“I draw the line at three pets, okay? And we need at least one that likes me too - and I mean, without you meddling.”

Takanobu stops on the middle of the sidewalk, eyes full of a question you don’t need translating. 

He closes his eyes when you bring your other hand to his cheek, curls into the touch just like the kitten had. You love him. You love him. You love him.

The truth hammers around your head with the beat of your heart. 

All you need to do is tell him.

And you’re not even scared. 

But words have never been your language, you think, and get on your tiptoes to reach his lips.

And it’s no surprise, no great revelation. Kissing Takanobu is like loving Takanobu, like knowing him and touching him and longing for him. 

It’s warm and strong and safe… and quiet.

But you’ve always liked Silence more.

-

“You’re late,” a voice calls out when you step into the Izakaya, Takanobu’s hand on your shoulder as he walks in right behind you.

“No, you’re just early,” you point out, “Didn’t know you were so eager to meet me.”

“Not you, just Aone,” the guy sticks his tongue out at you and you turn slightly.

“Futakuchi?” You ask and Takanobu nods.

“No fighting,” someone with fluffy black hair calls out from the other side. “Moniwa,” Takanobu explains before you can ask. 

Moniwa seems to realize just a second later, almost throwing his glass off the counter.

“Hey! You made it.”

You immediately tense when he widens his arms as if to hug you. Takanobu steps in front of you, arms outstretched like a traffic policeman. You can’t help but laugh.

“It’s okay,” you tell your boyfriend, taking his hand, “Introduce us, huh?”

So he does, using as little words as possible.

“How did that happen?” Futakuchi leans into your space, just far enough away not to touch you. You appreciate it. “Did he scare you into dating him?”

Takanobu bristles slightly and you squeeze his hand.

“Actually it was the other way around.”

“She bites,” Takanobu jokes. You snort but it takes his old team about half a minute to realize that their friend just used humor for the first time.

“Whatever floats your boat,” Futakuchi drawls and you nod, sending him a sweet smile.

“Don’t worry, even the Titanic had some people on board. There’s still hope for you.”

His face falls when he realizes what you meant. 

-

It’s pretty late when you step back into the cool air again, the alcohol coursing through your system keeping you warm. 

Takanobu’s steps have gotten slower, the alcohol clearly even affecting him. The week must have started catching up with him too and you squeeze his hand a little tighter in yours, telling him without words that you know and you understand.

“Want to take an Uber?” You ask, “I think we could splurge a little today.”

He hesitates for a second before he nods. You pull your phone out, quick to navigate through the app.

“Five minutes,” you tell him, directing him to a small bench, “Let’s sit down until then.”

“What did you think?” Takanobu asks, leaning into you. “Of your friends? They’re nice. They don’t ask too many questions, I like that.”

“Futakuchi does.”

“Yeah, but it’s okay when he does it,” you think out loud, “He’s one of this annoying-charming people. He’d loose all his charm if he stopped being annoying.”

“I’ll tell him you said that,” He takes your hand, presses his lips against one knuckle after the other, “Or you can tell him yourself.”

“You know,” you say after a moment of Silence, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, fingertips following the curve of it down to his neck, caressing the slight stubble that’s forming on his chin. “When we get home I’ll tuck you in.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. I could spoon you too, you know. Be the big spoon this time.”

“The big spoon?” His eyes are closed now, a private little smile on his lips. 

“Well, how else am I going to be able to press hundred kisses onto these strong shoulders?” You ask, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you,” you whisper, suddenly feeling a little shy. 

His eyes don’t open, his smile doesn’t move but his hand squeezes yours, one, two, three times.

He’s never needed much words to tell you what he wants to say.

I. Love. You.

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Leaf Pile | Roach x/& Reader

Day 14: Playing in the Leaves w/ Gary “Roach” Sanderson

Summary: You find a very lost, mute, British soldier in your very American base, and someone had the audacity to knock over his pile of leaves.

Word Count: ~ 1.4k

Warnings: Americans sorta bullying roach :( but it’s ok they make up, pure crack+fluff tbh

A/N: idk what was happening in this one it just wrote itself honestly, can be read as platonic or romantic, hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

Some British boys had come to base, was the rumor going around.

British boys coming to your very American base for Marines, mind you.

There had already been jokes going around, mocking the ones that had been seen for their accent, and you could’ve sworn you’d heard “bo’ol o’ wo’er” about a million times by now.

You didn’t care much. Men came and went all the time, like that group of German(?) men who’d been gone within the day, rumors starting up that they were haunting the place, vengeful spirits from World War II.

The rumors were stupid, but you worked with Marines, and they were bound to be idiots, even joking around with you, the one responsible for keeping everything behind the scenes up and running properly. You had a close bond with most of them, being the “mom” of the base, so maybe that was why you felt bad when you saw your men picking on one of the new British soldiers staying here for a few days for God knows what.

“C’mon, say it!”

One recruit shouted, another grinning as he nudged the silent man dressed in his full military gear, British flag clear as day on his uniform, face covered, gun hanging by his side.

He simply stood there, not doing anything.

Huffing to yourself, you strode over to the group of men while on lunch break, swatting whoever you got closest to.

“You’ve got shit to get done, I’m sure. Get moving.”

You nearly barked at them, and they quickly snapped back into place, mumbling little “yes ma’am”’s and skittering off to wherever they should’ve been, leaving the silent man behind. You approached him, raising a brow.

“Sorry about them, they’re idiots,”

You said, glancing down at his uniform, not finding a dog tag to read or a name tag in the slightest on him. That was usually how you knew to address most people around here, or the new ones, at least.

“What’s your name?”

You asked, tone more information-seeking than curious. He hesitated for a moment, before fumbling with his hands, making a whole lot of gestures you didn’t understand. At first, it just looked like he was drunk, crazy, or very confused and nervous. Eventually, it hit.

“Oh, sign language. That’s what you’re using.”

You said, tilting your head slightly to the side. He gave a little quick nod, and you reached for your phone, about to have him type it out, considering you hardly knew any sign language at all, only to find your phone missing.

Lunch break. You’d left it in your office.

“Shit,”

You mumbled, mind working to find a solution. Your office was too far from here to walk back again, and this poor man looked lost.

“How about a game of charades?”

You offered, and he frantically nodded, whether he was excited or just anxious wasn’t clear.

“Alright, how about your name?”

He gave a slight nod, and held both of his hands out, holding one arm steadily in front of him, his pointer fingers curling up, thumb remaining straight as he put it on his forearm, moving it very, very slowly.

“…A curly fry?”

You asked, very confused, before he shook his head, seeming frustrated until you realized.

“A snail?”

A nod.

“Your name is Snail?”

He shook his head, looking a bit frustrated.

“Alright, keep going.”

Next, he let his arm down, taking one hand and spreading the fingers out, in the shape of a star.

“A star?”

His hands twitched slightly before he made a rolling motion with one, in a gesture of ‘keep going’. Your brow wrinkled as you tried to figure out what he was trying to say before he pointed to the water fountain nearby.

“Water…star?”

You asked, confused, before making an ‘ohh’ sound.

“A starfish?”

He nodded, before moving on to the next object, making a square with his hands, and using a finger to poke figurative little holes in it.

“Cheese?”

Nope.

“A sponge?”

A nod. An excited nod this time.

“I still don’t get it. A snail, a starfish, and a sponge. What does that have to do with your name?”

He shook his head, making the gestures for all three all over again, making a plus sign, then an equal sign with two fingers. A snail plus a starfish plus a sponge. The answer you came up with sounded stupid in your head, but it was better than nothing.

“Spongebob?”

He hopped up from excitement, landing on the tip of his toes as he nodded, gesturing in a ‘keep going’ movement again and making the snail symbol.

“The snail from..Spongebob? Gary?”

He nodded, giving a thumbs up. You sighed in relief at the mental wild goose chase being over. At least you knew his name was Gary now.

“Alright then, Gary, I’m assuming you’re lost?”

He nodded. You didn’t blame him. This Base was big, bigger than the usual ones, and it was easy to get lost in the hallways, and corridors, not to mention all the buildings outside.

“How’d you get lost?”

You asked, mildly interested, and he leaned over, picked up an orange leaf from the ground, pointed to it, and threw it up in the air in a flying-away gesture.

“You followed a leaf?”

You asked, trying to keep the judgment off of your face and out of your tone. He shook his head, pointing to the lead again, but making a gesture of big, like a large leaf, or many leaves, and then pretending as if he were holding some sort of mop, broom, or probably a rake, sweeping the leaves together.

“You were trying to make a pile of leaves?”

He nodded, making a ‘follow me’ gesture, before jogging off down one of the courtyards, leaving you to follow him as he led you to one of the quiet areas on base during this time of day, closer to the barracks where not many were right now. Truth be told, the pile of leaves he led you to was small and mildly sad, and his posture seemed to droop as he looked at it, as if disappointed.

It didn’t take much to figure out that someone had messed with his pile of leaves while he’d been gone, probably to find more leaves, the trail left behind showing evidence of someone kicking it over.

You pursed your lips at the sight.

“You stay right here, I’ll be back.”

Lunch break be damned, you followed the trail of leftover leaves and the slightly dirty footprints left behind from the dirt on some of the leaves, only to find it leading to the canteen, where some recruits, some experienced men were sitting, chowing down on their meals.

You could call most of them by name, at this point in the year.

As they saw you walking in, sour look on your face, they must’ve known something was up, seeing as most of them quieted up very quickly, the ones who didn’t being elbowed enough to shut their mouths.

“Who kicked over the leaf pile in front of the barracks?”

Your stern voice rang out, waiting for an answer you wouldn’t get as everyone remained silent.

“If nobody wants to own up to it, I’d better find a pile at least five feet high when I go back out there. On your feet, boys!”

You barked, and they got to their feet, moaning and groaning as they lumbered outside, moving to go collect leaves while you took your lunch break inside, munching down quickly on a basic sandwich, going back outside after around fifteen minutes, finding all of your men and Gary with a giant pile of leaves, brown, orange, red and yellow blending together as they took turns jumping in it.

The less enthusiastic men took their lunch outside, chatting in the sun or wherever they could find shade, the autumn breeze blowing by.

You grinned as you watched them, leaning against the corner of the canteen building’s sturdy walls, watching as a disgruntled man with a mohawk, and a shorter man with a skeletal mask on almost walked straight past you, when they stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of the grown ass men playing in leaves.

“Wot.”

The masked man said simply, confusion palpable in his gaze.

“I’m guessing Gary’s yours?”

You asked, and the mohawk-man turned to face you after spying out his man in the crowd.

“Aye. Which one’s yours?”

He asked, Scottish lilt to his tone obvious, but comforting somehow.

You sighed.

“All the rest.”

Tags:

@hawke1917

[enpr-ss]

Wild Life Immortal Snails Episode 3 Liveblogging

Omg the snails are so cute. Wait did it happen before the wild card screen? WAIT THEY INSTAKILL THEM??? FROM LIKE 3 BLOCKS AWAY????? THE PUNNY NAMES HAHAHAHA Slimedarity, Ethostropod, Tangastropod, PearlescentSnail, Bdubsnail, eSCARgo, Snailman, Renthesnail, InTheLittleShell, Snumbo, Gary, BigbShell, iSnail Who made the skins? The names? The coding? No wonder all the budget went into this. No wonder everyone dropped like flies. These snails ARE ZOOMING WHAT. THEY CAN FLY??? WITH THE RAINBOW PROPELLER CAPS??? THE YAHOO? THE ANIMATIONS????

You know, I had my doubts about the wild life gimmicks, felt too random to be a good series, but this proved me SO wrong. Worth it. Grian bringing this bit from hermitcraft is SO GOOD.

THEY SPAWNCAMPED BDUBS LOL. Do they have rainbow parachutes if they are flying for longer? The horse / a ridable mob actually coming in useful for once. The giant grin on Bdubsnail is SO creepy and hilarious.

JIMMY JUST DIED TO A CREEPER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE??? HE WENT FROM 4 TO RED IN LIKE 20 MINUTES AT THE START?!!?!?? WHAT IS HAPPENING??

Of course Etho thinks about how to abuse this game mechanic. To make it worse for other people even. HOW DID MUMBO DROWN OF ALL THINGS??? THE TIMING???

Jimmy killed Ren???? What??? It’s gotta be a negotiated one right. No way it’s a trap or straight pvp. Also interesting limited life mechanic of gaining a life back when you kill someone of a different color.

Etho and Martyn’s adventures in the nether!! The snails are SUCH a good mechanic to keep up the pressure. MARTYN DIED TO AN ENDERMAN WHAT Oh the snails paraglide when they teleport. Nice.

The mocking of Tango’s wood house burning down. The meta knowledge of when a yellow mutes themselves, it’s about a murder plan. Hilarious that Etho left in Gem’s calling his insecurities out. Wait Skizz is on red after killing Tango? Which meant he went from yellow to red twice? Wait drowning the snails passes it onto the player? Why? Also in hindsight hearing Mumbo faintly being surprised about this when Etho was talking with Martyn makes a lot of sense now.

Everyone humoring Etho’s tuff guy wet kitten act…. If it was anyone else they would be mocking them to shreds. AND THEN HE GETS CREEPERED DESPITE BEING WARNED BY THE ENTIRE GROUP HE WAS JUST MENACING HAAHAHAHAH TANGO. THE TIMING. “Where is mine?” The snail lets out a war cry and goes for the kill and then rainbow parachutes down with a Wow! Absolutely perfect scene. The snails are the perfect observation test that so far only Gem and Joel are passing. Omg the snails do make random goblin noises even without stimulus. The propeller cap and helicopter noises are so good. I’m surprised it didn’t teleport to him.

Etho’s bullying the Parrots and Scar in particular LOL. And then his family bullying about what’s cool. Them trying to give Jimmy a life / kill but he fails so hard hat not only did no one take a tick of damage but he destroys the base instead.

Ah yes the tnt minecart death coaster that everyone saw coming except Skizz. Who’s back on red AGAIN. TANGO’S ON RED?!?!? THAT’S 5 TO 1!!!

Wait why is Grian’s Gary?

Also this is similar vibes to that time on secret or limited life when they were screaming for Grian to end the session. Etho really did influence Grian to end it lol. Does all the deaths keep happening in Etho’s peripheral vision?

What a chaotic session. I can’t wait to see everyone’s POVs. Truly a Halloween theme, what with the creeping horror of pursuit predator snails dressed up in costumes. I want to see all the skins and the names and the voices and animations.

[neitherabaron]

Really looking forward to the Chris Pine D&D movie, and I want to share some love for the original attempt at a D&D film from 2000!

Make no mistake, this is a so-bad-it’s-good film, with digital effects that are ropey as hell (especially when you consider that Fellowship of the Ring was already in post-production in 2000), a plot so disjointed it barely exists, (including a final battle that the main characters don’t even really take part in) and staggering levels of camp.

But it’s fucking charming.

Jeremy Irons (Scar from The Lion King) is the villain, an evil archmage who wants to overthrow an (not particularly benevolent anyway) empire with a plan that is never really clear but involves dragons?

Just look at this guy:

:readmore:

He walks about like that for the whole film, waggling his fingers slowly so you know he’s the baddie. He has an office where all the furniture and decor is made of human skulls and bones (a real location; I believe it’s a church somewhere?) and likes swooping his cape about. And Jeremy Irons himself is so bored, it’s hilarious. I seem to remember that in the dvd extras he’s interviewed alongside Gary Gygax and pretty much expresses open disdain for the whole process. He’s a serious actor! This is beneath him!

Elsewhere on the supporting cast, we have a henchman with spiky armour and inexplicably blue lips that are always pouting in a way that seems vaguely sexual; Tom Baker(!) as a wood elf Druid who only exists in order to say something vaguely mystic about dragons for 20 seconds before disappearing forever; and Richard O’Brien in full fey bastard mode as a camp thieves’ guild master who challenges the party to…find a crystal…in a deadly maze filled with traps and puzzles. Like in that game show he used to present…I forget the name. I wanna say Diamond Labyrinth? 😂

As for the party, it’s all delightfully one-note characters. We’ve got a rogue? bard? who goes from being a selfish dickhead to altruistic freedom fighter on a dime. Some dialogue suggests he’s some kind of chosen one, but the plot never actually explores or resolves that. Then there’s a wizard who doesn’t like poor people, an elf fighter who doesn’t like anyone, a dwarf who’s so out of it he barely knows he’s there and is never given any character motivation to explain why he’s travelling with these guys; and some dude called Snails, whose personality is…he’s scared? Basically Shaggy without Scooby.

These guys have to save a princess from Jeremy Irons, who wants to kill her because she has friendly dragons or something. But here’s the great thing: the party have very little reason to want to rescue her (most of them as non-mages are actively oppressed and even enslaved by the ruling mage class of which she is the figurehead) and they never actually *meet* her until the very end of the film, after the evil archmage has pretty much already been defeated - by the princess and her dragons btw, not the party, who basically teleport a magic wand to her and then just watch.

They rescue her because in order for the film to be a film, there needs to be an end goal, even if it’s totally arbitrary. And that’s what I love. Isn’t that just so reflective of a slightly haphazard campaign of Dungeons & Dragons with a party that’s hastily thrown together?

And there are more similarities that compound this feeling of watching some randoms play a home campaign. The plot as I mentioned is disjointed. It’s not a series of events that flows or has any kind of pacing - the movie is a series of 15 minute adventures that don’t really connect to each other or build to the ending. As if the director is a dungeon master arbitrarily stringing together modular adventure sourcebooks! Let’s storm a castle for reasons! Great, now let’s raid a tomb. No, I don’t know why. At one point a party member just bounces from the plot and is never seen again, just like that player in your group who never shows up and you all just move on.

It’s like the writers transcribed a home campaign, warts and all, into script form and then somehow successfully pitched it as a B-movie. Though the Chris Pine version will doubtlessly be a much better movie, Dungeons & Dragons (2000) is perhaps the most accurate possible dramatic presentation of D&D as it actually is in practice for most people playing it. What could be more charming than that?

[tapedsleeves]

(primer anon) Thank you so much!! <3 <3 I write at a snail's pace so no clue when I'll actually output anything but I loved reading your post 😭 if it's not too much trouble I'd love to hear a little more on keegs and adin since they're on your ships list and I don't know much about them (also maybe nic roy since I just found out he's quebecois?? For some reason I thought marchy was the only frenchy)

Or if you can point me in a direction I can go do my own digging and give your inbox a break 😭 I'd love to know if there's any go-to articles/video series/beat reporter or something, or a good blog/tag to dig through. the official social accounts post so much it's hard to find anything when idk what to search for

I always forget that Nic Roy is quebecois until he talks! There's actually another French guy, who probably will sign somewhere else this summer, William Carrier. Nic Roy is very very quiet. But he's got a cat and put that cat in the cup. Nic is is very chill and low key. Lots of guys on VGK are. Not a lot of them are like. Super flashy guys.

Will Carrier, also french, is SO SO SO square. He helped build his own house and while they were in the montreal series in 20-21, someone peed on his front door. He watched it on the security camera.

He often helps people fix things - he's very handy. But otherwise, he's very chill and low key.

Keegan Kolesar:

Danced with Mat Barzal at Ethan Bear's wedding. butt slaps and handshakes with Jack eichel. keegan is just. A really laid back, funny, sweet guy. His biological is absent, and his step (orr adopted) dad died of COVID complications in september of 2020, so he takes his mom on the dad's trips. It's VERY sweet that he does, and everyone makes her feel really really welcome. Annabelle is our Make A Wish signing and they had quite the fight :)) Here's his POV about it. Actually if there's kids, he's going. He goes to all the charity hockey / ball tournaments and ball hockey events that VGK does in the community. Every one has Keegan in there. did post game press with a chicken ceasar wrap (misattributed to a burrito)

why i ship him wiht Jack: after Keegan's goal against the Jets on 4/22/23, Jack did this, which looked like engagement photos to me

also very important to me: him holding the drunkest karly on stage at the parade. he was SO grabby. it was LOVELY.

I think they kissed on the mouth

Here he is kissing teddy blueger

Keegan kissing Nic Hague.

I'm pretty sure he's an affectionate drunk.

Adin Hill

Adin Hill is just very sweet and loves coffee. He makes his own.

Here he is laughing at Karly saying that his hamstring was "not chillin"

he was very drunk at the parade and referenced talladega nights

they did marchy SO dirty. They sent hilly & nic hague. the two tallest guys.

wore a UNLV basketball jersey to the parade, inspiring love from vegas

also took it off

gets fighty here's another shot

absolutely beautiful ok?

His kicky feets

HE'S SO FUNNY

why i ship him with paul cotter

it has less to do with adin and more to do with Paul himself. He's a goalie appreciator.

adin and tommy are REALLY CUTE tho

despite having the same listed height, adin is taller

their hugs are soo so so so tender. I love goalie.

As far as beat reporters: Gary Lawless is our insider guy, Jesse Granger is our beat reporter for the athletic, and Ashali Vise is one of our on-air broadcasters. All of them are pretty good sources of info. All of them I've referenced for stuff. But really I know most of this just because I like. Have been around. I pay attention. You'll note that some of this is sourced from my own blog, so like. Go nuts there too if you want. If you want older stuff, @himbeaux-on-ice has a bunch of good stuff. @vgkmarc also has some really good stuff, along with @golden-knights-of-the-realm , @at-empty-tables & @sevennone . @reneserseya is really good for Jack Eichel content with some Alec Martinez thrown in for fun & @goldenmisfits is as well. @lovethygoalie knows a lot about Nic Roy iirc.

Also I will say, Dave Goucher & Shane Hnidy are a fun follow, even if they're not exactly reporters - they're super involved and also very cute.

[trashfontcesttrash]

I made an OC to pair Spongebob me boy with. Which is a milestone, ive never made an oc to pair with a character.

I thought a lot about her and I'm proud. Okay.

When making a person to pair with my own OCs I typically, but not always, go one of two routes. A. Make them very similar personality wise but with one or two major differences, or B. Make them extremely different personality wise but give them two major similarities. I don't always do this but I use it enough as at least a framework.

I'm using most of A.

Introducing:

Porflora Sparklefoam.

From the words 'Porous' and 'Porifera', the phylum name for sea sponges, and Flora, the shortened name from Florencia.

Porflora is a round sponge, and her skin color is pale lavender, specifically because purple is the complementary color to yellow.

Her hair is black and kept up in three messy buns. Her hair is quite long actually but she needs it out of the way. Her eyes are slate gray, hss dimples, and she has a few overlapping teeth with rainbow colored braces (that really aren't doing anything, all sponges have some sort of misaligned or irregular teeth in my headcanon, she just likes having a smile full of rainbows).

She has one of two main outfits. 1. A pleated skirt, an oversized sweater over an undershirt, stockings, and Mary Jane shoes, or 2. An overall dress with a bit of a petticoat underneath, a babydoll shirt, a worn out pair of tennis shoes and slouchy socks. Both outfits are covered in those sew on/iron on patches things.

Any jewelry she wears is handmade, Porflora likes those kinds of crafts. But she doesn't wear jewelry often because of her job.

Of which:

She's a botanist. A traveling botanist, traveling around the sea taking soil samples and examining local fauna and sending the information to her boss to sift through. Which is fine. Flowers are to Porflora as the Krusty Krab are to Spongebob, she quite enjoys her job.

Other hobbies of hers include reading fairy tales, watching and reading books of her favorite show "Sun Soldiers", amateur photography, and adding to her pin and button collection. She doesn't have much room in her car and sleeper trailer, so as much as she would like to have a pet, she doesn't feel it would be fair for them to be stuffed in there. She does think Gary is thr most handsomest snail she's ever seen, tho.

Personally wise, she's shy at first, takes a while for her to open up, if she does at all (specifically towards non sponges, there's a story why but we'll get to that maybe). Around non sponges she cautious, not in a rude way but it's clear there's a level of distrust there. But if Spongebob me boy is there then she'll relax about it a little.

Whereas Spongebobs energy goes from 0 to 100, hers is more gradual. (Sponges in general have high levels of energy). Their energies can both amplify each others (much to the horror of anyone around them) and calm each other's down (much to everyone's relief).

There's more but my fingers hurt

[dragonmasterhiccup]

Letter anon here 😄 no problem take all the time you need sorry I kinda threw you a curve ball 😅😂. I hope church went well for you, at mine we just finished the book of Ecclesiastes. Anyway I was getting nostalgic about my School of Dragons character and the backstory I had for her. Plus Gargoyle (the Sentinel dragon that ended up being my favorite in the game) is loosely based off of person experiences with pets, some based off of my old Doggo, my Guinea pig, and oddly enough an aquatic snail. I will say though that I personally never had any interest in boulder class dragons until the sentinels just like I never had interest in snails until Gary hitchhiked on an aquarium plant from the petstore 😂life happens.

(((Hi!! No problem at all! Curveballs are kinda the norm these days 😝

Edit: Church went well! We're in 1 Corinthians 15 :)

That's pretty cool, actually! Pets and animals are so much smarter than most people think!

I hope you liked my response! And thank you for your kind message at the end!!

But it's true! Life happens 🤷‍♀️😂)))

[derangedanomaly]

SpongeBob rant lmao (Tw- stupid ass Star fish rage-bait?)

I hate that stupid pink starfish, patrick start from spongebob.honestly, im not good with writing long sentences, essay etc (not good with phrasing words as well, and horrible with using words that dont fit it) but i can write a list on why Patrick is a horrible friend to spongebob.now, im not going to list EVERY episode with him being a jerk, but i'll name a few with the episodes i rewatched recently what made me want to have a breakdown.

S2 E2: Something Smells/Bossy Boots

In this episode, spongebob eats some food what makes his breath smell like garbage, whenever he talks to someone, they run away or just perish. Patrick tells spongebob that hes just UGLY- i understand, according to the wiki, patrick doesn't have a nose. But he forces spongebob to accept the fact hes ugly witch is straight up just sad tbh, i mean- in my opinion i would be upset if my friend who i knew for a long time just told me to accept the fact im ugly. Later on patrick eats whatever spongebob ate what made his breath smell, the same thing basically happens to patrick, now hes "ugly" and hes crying and blaming spongebob until spongebob, our hero, tells patrick it was the food they both ate and it made their breathe smell.though before SpongeBob says its their breathe, patrick says he caught the uglys. and quote on quote HE SAYS "i was one of the beautiful people, now look at me. im almost as ugly as YOU" WTH? HOW IS HE KNOWN AS A FRIEND---

S2 E9: Dumped

Okay, so idk if i got the episode number correct but im looking on google and the wikipedia and the episode is called "dumped".

On the wiki (synopsis) it says:

As the episode begins with SpongeBob and Gary playing tag, Patrick joins in and begins to get better acquainted with Gary. At the end of the day, Gary seems to want to spend time with Patrick a while longer, so SpongeBob agrees to let Gary have a sleepover at Patrick's house. The next morning, Gary is still reluctant to leave Patrick, who concludes that Gary wants to be with him permanently, and so claims him as his own pet. SpongeBob refuses to believe this, but when Gary is given the choice of who shall be his owner, Gary heads for Patrick. SpongeBob is heartbroken, and out of jealousy, he attempts to find a new pet to show Gary that he does not need a two-timing snail.

It turns out gary only "liked" patrick is because he had a treat in his shorts, and gary actually liked spongebob ( i think )what i hate about patrick in this episode is that he steals gary and acts like a twat to spongebob about this. Not much to say really, other than patrick being a jerk like always.

S4 : Driven to Tears

Okay so idk yet again, the episode but its in season 4. here's what google says about it:

"Driven to Tears" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season 4. In this episode, Patrick gets his driver's license, and rubs it in SpongeBob's face.and heres the wiki synopsis:The narrator opens the episode by stating "It is a very special day in Bikini Bottom." The camera then shows SpongeBob and Patrick heading down to Mrs. Puff's Boating School. Once they arrive at the entrance, Patrick says he brought SpongeBob's special learning cards that has everything he needs to pass the boating school test. However, Patrick then eats the cards and claims learning tastes good. Even though SpongeBob needed those learning cards, Patrick convinces SpongeBob that he is a winner and does not need them. SpongeBob then claims he is a winner and takes his boating school driving test.Unfortunately, after one minute and thirty-seven seconds, SpongeBob fails the driving test for the 58th time. Patrick, thinking the test is rigged, decides to take the test himself and passes with a perfect score on the first try, much to SpongeBob's surprise and jealousy. They go to receive Patrick's license, but while his picture is being taken, an announcer comes out to reveal that since he is the one millionth person to pass the test, he has won a brand new hot red boatmobile, the new Bass Blaster 3000.

Okay so basically some ragebait i guess? idk. But tbh i wouldnt say its jealousy, more like envy. ((Jealousy is basically three people, lets say your in second place of a race and your friend is third. Your enemy is first and you cant help but feel jealous about it.envy is two people. you got nothing lets say and your friend gotten lots of gifts.))

but yeah, i guess it can be both. The episode is where patrick rubs it into spongeBobs face and hes just SOOO ANNOYING ABOUT IT- patrick is just a jerk. no explanation needed. He also forgets that spongebobs parents aren't his, he calls them his parents. Dumb bitch cant believe a cartoon pink starfish is getting me mad. btw spongebob gets arrested for littering, a wiki commenter (idk what to call it lmao-) says this:

Technically, Patrick should have also been arrested for reckless driving. As he was driving slightly above the limit, ran three red lights, and made an illegal U-turn through an orphanage offscreen. He also drove recklessly after SpongeBob ripped up his license and the police told him to simply pull over and nearly hit several people as well. Basically, Patrick gets off scot-free for his actions while SpongeBob goes to jail simply for littering

(by snide2012)

S3 E24 - 25: New Student Starfish/Clams

OKAY- this episode made me grit my teeth. (just want to say, yet again the episode number could be incorrect!) Wiki synopsis:

SpongeBob is about to leave for boating school when Patrick asks him to go jellyfishing. SpongeBob says that he has go to school, but suggests that Patrick come with him, to which Patrick agrees. Upon arriving at school, SpongeBob shows Patrick around and explains their classroom's "Good Noodle" system, where Good Noodle stars are awarded to well-behaved students. SpongeBob has by far the most stars of anyone in the class. He also introduces Patrick to Roger, an egg in a case with only a lightbulb for warmth.

(my thoughts - later on in the episode, patrick RUINS his good noodle streak which made me nearly cry because it just triggers me for some reason to see a streak get ruined?)

When class starts, Mrs. Puff sees Patrick and asks him his name. Patrick gets nervous and replies with "twenty-four," which he and SpongeBob find incredibly funny. Mrs. Puff hears their jokes and catches them, letting Patrick off the hook with a warning since he is new, but gives SpongeBob a stronger warning that she expects more from him. Patrick then draws an insulting picture of Mrs. Puff and puts it on SpongeBob's desk. Mrs. Puff, thinking the picture is SpongeBob's doing, removes one of his stars from the Good Noodle Board as punishment for two classroom disruptions, much to SpongeBob's horror. Mrs. Puff then tells SpongeBob to move to the back of the room, where Patrick continues to annoy him. When SpongeBob snaps upon being annoyed that Patrick pestered him only to say a less-than-significant "Hi," an angry Mrs. Puff appears, sarcastically stating that SpongeBob can have his recess.

(my thoughts - im just glad the wiki agrees that patrick is a annoying cunt face)He has constantly made SpongeBobs life miserable with his aggressive hypocrisy and soulless jerky-ness tbh.

(I accidentally deleted the episode and season name :( but it's the episode about Patrick and SpongeBob being parents)

Wiki synopsis:

One day, after chatting with each other, SpongeBob and Patrick hear a noise that they suspect is one another, but realize that it's coming from a baby scallop in the middle of a coral plant who is alone and helpless with no parental guardian and has yet to develop the ability to fly. SpongeBob and Patrick take him in the former's house, name him "Junior," and raise him as their baby, with SpongeBob as the mother and Patrick as the father. After feeding Junior and changing his diaper, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Junior go out in Bikini Bottom through a montage. Returning home at night, they put Junior to sleep in a cradle in SpongeBob's bedroom then go to sleep themselves.The next morning, Patrick eats breakfast then explains that he has to go to work since he is the father, leaving SpongeBob to do housework. He promises to give SpongeBob a break when he gets home. Eventually, he returns home only to be exhausted from work, and then tiredly decides to sit on the chair and watch TV for the rest of the night. This goes on for several days until SpongeBob realizes that Patrick was a lazy father figure who broke his promises to assist him with Junior. Seeing his patience is completely terminated and fed up with Patrick's laziness, SpongeBob furiously lashes out at Patrick, showing him all the diapers that Junior used; including on Squidward's house from the outside. Patrick, feeling remorse, then realizes the error of his ways and promises to come home at 6:00 PM and give SpongeBob the whole night off.

The episode is basically about how hard it is to be a mother i guess, housewife with work-husband? like in the "oLdEn DaYs". Patrick in this episode, his "work" was actually him going to his rock (house) watching tv and eating junk food. Hes a lazy idiot. no, hes a SLOTHFUL idiot. (sloth as the deadly sin) Sloth is about a person not wanting to work, because of their lack of motivation. Patricks "work" is him just doing sloth. The work hes suppose to be doing is taking care of junior. Something i like about the wiki is this part:

After SpongeBob and Patrick say goodbye to Junior, they are proud to have looked after him. Patrick, learning his lesson, reconciles with SpongeBob by teasingly suggesting they would have another baby, shocking SpongeBob (knowing that he will probably do the same thing when they were taking care of him)

anyways, i could go on and on with more reasons i hate him and why hes NOT a better friend than anyone, but it been years since i watched the full show, thats why im rewatching it lol, made it up to season 4 or 5 so far so yeh.thanks for reading!!!! :)also sorry if i got any mistakes / typos !!

(1718 words??)

HELP- HOW LONG DID YOU SPEND ON THIS?! MY GOODNESS-

[zimulacrum]

Total Drama Camp Island au

Fuck it. Au where Camp Wawanakwa is a Theatre camp. Chris is the director, Chef is the technical director. Mixing Gen 1 and Gen 2, the cast and crew splits up like this:

(PS, if two people have the same role, it’s just double cast.)

CAST

Alejandro - Joined because he enjoyed theatre as a class. He easily gets roles, though his charm is sometimes seen as an unfair advantage to others so he doesn’t audition much.

NOTABLE ROLES

the Phantom

the SQUIP

Emmett Forrest

Rocky

Kenickie Murdoch

Sierra - Joined because OBVIOUSLY she wants a place to nerd out! She gets good roles because she’s one of the only people who put all her emotions and being into her lines AND songs.

NOTABLE ROLES

Sandy Cheeks

Jenna Rolland

Columbia

Ronette

Delia Deetz

Duncan - I can’t decide whether he joined as a joke, or if his parents forced him to hang out with other teens. Maybe both. But surprisingly, he’s a good actor—AND can, surprisingly, do an incredible Mr. Krabs impression. He also constantly fights with crew to not wear a wig, keeping his mohawk onstage.

NOTABLE ROLES

Mr. Krabs

Jake Dillinger

Eddie

Orin Scrivello

Beetlejuice???

Tyler - Joined because he thought it would be like High School Musical. His roles are never big, but he has fun with them and always treats them like they’re the lead.

NOTABLE ROLES

Patchy the Pirate

one of the businessmen that purchases an Audrey II

Harold - He WOULD be a threatre kid if he could. He auditions with rapping EVERY TIME. And it works for him.

NOTABLE ROLES

Sheldon J. Plankton

Kevin G

Riff Raff

Geoff - Joined as a dare, and ended up loving it. He’s super chill about cast lists, and whatever he ends up with, he makes sure it’s including Bridgette.

NOTABLE ROLES

Patrick Star/Larry the Lobster/Gary the Snail

Damien Hubbard

Heather - She likes being in the spotlight. She expects roles, and she gets roles. .. not always. She’s typecast as the mean girl.

NOTABLE ROLES

Chloe Valentine

Regina George

Magenta

Vivian Kensington

Betty Rizzo

Lindsay - Loves movies and musicals and wants to be like that!! But she usually forgets her lines… and when she does, they’re all from Mean Girls. Even if she’s doing Rocky Horror, she’ll say her Karen Smith lines. Oh well.

NOTABLE ROLES

Karen Smith

Paulette Bonafonté

Frenchy Facciano

Leshawna - She has a big voice, so she’ll join to get big roles. Although, she’s never really cast in dance heavy roles…

NOTABLE ROLES

Pearl Krabs

Janice Ian

Audrey II/Chiffon

Elle Woods

Owen - He thought theatre camp could be fun! He has a surprisingly nice voice, and is just really good at embodying characters.

NOTABLE ROLES

SpongeBob SquarePants/Patrick Star

Michael Mell

Noah - “Joined as a joke”. He secretly really wanted to. He has the gay theatre kid energy here… his voice is also quite pleasant.

NOTABLE ROLES

Squidward Tentacles

Adam Maitland

Brad Majors

Warner Huntington III

Trent - Joined for fun since he had a free summer. He always brings his guitar, and sometimes plays it for script read throughs.

NOTABLE ROLES

an Electric Skate

Aaron Samuels

Cody - Family got him to join. They hoped he could get really cute roles, and he acts like he doesn’t care. He does.

NOTABLE ROLES

SpongeBob SquarePants/Old Man Jenkins

Seymour Krelborn

Bridgette - A friend suggested she signed up, so she did—tries to get a couples role with Geoff ever since they got together.

NOTABLE ROLES

Mayor of Bikini Bottom

Brooke Lohst

Janice Ian

Brooke Wyndham

Courtney - She’s done every subject and activity, of COURSE she’ll try theatre! She’s destined to be a star! She takes everything extremely seriously. And if she doesn’t get the role she wants… it’s scary.

NOTABLE ROLES

Christine Daae

Jenna Rolland

Gretchen Weiners

Vivian Kensington

Barbara Maitland

Crystal

Katie and Sadie - They picked a summer camp they wanted to do together, chose this, and auditioned for EVERYTHING together. They don’t really do roles that aren’t a duo.

NOTABLE ROLES

the Delta Nu girls

Justin - Decided to join because he assumed he’d get roles IMMEDIATELY for how he looked. He did not.

NOTABLE ROLES

an Electric Skate

Kyle the delivery man

Cameron - His mom suggested he joined a theatre camp because it felt “safe”—plus, he can actually sing and dance pretty well, since he grew up with his mom’s disco music.

NOTABLE ROLES

Seymour Krelborn

Anne Maria - She REALLY wants a shot at being a lead in a musical, but is painfully… tone deaf. But she’s pretty good at dancing, actually!

NOTABLE ROLES

Cha-Cha DiGregorio

Mike - His psychiatrist suggested he take a theatre camp, since his excuse for his switches is that he just “likes to act”. In reality, Mike… doesn’t really like acting. He’ll take one role, but all his others are usually done by… not. Him.

NOTABLE ROLES

Jeremy Heere

Beetlejuice (Mal)

Danny Zuko (Vito)

Zoey - She actually loves musicals! Big theatre kid! She can make her own costumes and knows way too much about the shows she’s in, but barely says anything about it because she’s nervous about appearing as weird.

NOTABLE ROLES

Karen

Christine Canigula

Cady Heron

Chutney Wyndham

Janet Weiss

Lydia Deetz

Sandy Olsson

Lightning - Joined by accident. He doesn’t know where he is. He likes the attention, though.

NOTABLE ROLES

an Electric Skate

Brick - He was too nervous to join theatre at school, so he tried a summer camp no one had ever heard of… and it was perfect!

NOTABLE ROLES

Perch Perkins

Dr. Scott

Scott - Joined as a joke. Auditions as a joke. Usually tries to get someone to mess up a line or say the M word onstage…

NOTABLE ROLES

Rich Goranski

Dakota - OOOFF COOUURRSEEE she has to be center stage! Of COURSE! It’s not Broadway, but this’ll do!

NOTABLE ROLES

Brooke Wyndham

Miss Argentina

Dawn - (is usually crew)

NOTABLE ROLES

Audrey

CREW

DJ - paints sets!

Eva - helps with exercises and choreography!

Gwen - head of makeup!

Izzy - she does the practical effects/special effects/visuals!

Courtney - she has FOUGHT with Chris and Chef to be allowed to act and do crew at the same time. she does lights. do NOT let her be stage manager.

Ezekiel - also pants sets!

Beth - assists in costuming!

Cameron - prop master!

Mike - when he can avoid acting, he helps Cam!

Dawn - she’s an assistant stage manager, and always knows who’s playing what before the cast list gets written somehow…

B - to save money on hiring various companies for flying or using other big machinery, he handles that himself.

Sam - sound master!

Brick - when he’s not acting, he works on being head of costumes!

Jo - stage manager!

PPS. I know most of these are adult shows, but do you think Chris gives a shit