#swinger profile

[drdemonprince]

Is "safe sex" even real? Never done it so idk but you mentioned risk profiles once. I feel like demographically I've got a higher risk profile and the anxiety about that really prevents me from going and trying anything. Do you think that's overly anxious in a negative way?

"safe sex" is a really misleading and binary term. There is never any guarantee of safety in anything we do. Every choice we make comes with risks. Hell, choosing not to connect with other people sexually (if you have any desire to) does ITSELF come with its own risks and costs over time.

The chase after perfect, guranteed safety will only lead to us feeling powerless and afraid, because it is an impossibility. All that we can do is inform ourselves of the risks, mitigate the risks we are the most concerned about and that affect others, and then knowingly accept what risks we still face as the cost of leading a full, enjoyable life.

When we inform ourselves about risk mitigation, we learn there are certain steps that we should probably take to protect ourselves and others if we are engaging in behavior that carries risk. If you're having sex with a complete stranger, it's probably smart to use a condom. If you have sex regularly you might want an HPV vaccine or to be on PreP to prevent HIV transmission. When you meet up with people you should get tested for COVID. You should get vaccinated against COVID. If you want to get suspended in rope from the ceiling don't use a hardware store $3 carabeener, get the good shit from the rock-climbing supply store. Things like that.

But even if you use a condom, you might get herpes or HPV or crabs or a yeast infection. Even if you never have sex, you might already have herpes or HPV or crabs or a yeast infection. I've had several of those things, including some of the "scarier" sounding ones, and they're really not that big a deal. They're just a thing that happens in life. Most people have them. You pop a Valtrex when you have symptoms, you shove a suppostiory up your vulva when it itches, you sleep without underwear on, you communicate with partners, you move on with your life.

Sure, I do what I can to avoid the risks I am most concerned about. I take PreP right now because not getting HIV would be preferable to me. But I could still live if I got it. I am informed about the realities of living with HIV today, which makes that fear more manageable. It is easier for me to make carefully considered and yet realistic decisions surrounding my risk profile because I can confront the realities that scare me and learn more about them.

The body is not separable form its environment. We are connected to our surroundings and the people around us, and our bodies get sick, catch viruses, grow old, get messy, and die inevitably and return to the earth. With our one life, we each have to choose what is most important to us and what potential costs we can stand. But with each year that passes, a cost to our bodies is already incurred, and there's nothing we can do to prevent aging and death from coming our way.

So what would you like to do while you are around? Would you like to have sex with condoms? Go on PreP? Get the HPV vaccine? Take random loads in a glory hole? Make out and dry hump with a cutie at a party and catch her cold sore? Cross the street in the dark after looking both ways? Go out dancing so late that your sleep is disrupted for the whole week? Get your heart broken? Have a great all-consuming love? Have children? Endure a torn labia while giving birth? Try psychedelics? Go on a swinger's cruise? Get a UTI from spermicide? Roleplay online instead of meeting in person? Fuck people with a strap-on?

The choice is yours. And no choice you make will be perfect or come without risk. No life is safe. Accepting loss is one of the necessary tasks of leading a life. But you can educate yourself, reflect on what you most want out of life and what you fear, and then take steps to demystefy your worst fears and mitigate the risks that loom largest to you and the people you care about.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have some fun.

[sparrowssally]

Okay I lied that last rant wasn’t over

YET ANOTHER THING: I’ve seen a LOT of the blogs on here who ship David and Michael romantically talk about how David is “secretly” queer and how they’re going to be “safe spaces” for him when he’s ready to come out publicly.

Y’all. There is so, so much wrong with this for so many reasons. First of all, aside from a few rumors to the contrary that I’ve never seen any basis for, David has always been straight-presenting. He’s only dated women and is currently married to a woman, with whom he has several children. Yes, one of his kids is non-binary and he is an ardent supporter of them and an ally for the LGBTQ+ community as whole. This is GREAT. It shows he’s an engaged parent and a wonderful ally to the community. However, there is nothing pointing to the fact that that David is queer himself. Him wearing pride pins and wearing the “queer is here” sweatshirt is zero indication of his own sexuality. For all we know, he’s just supporting his kid. Also, all the “better halves” and “work wives” jokes made between the Tennant and Sheen families are clearly that: jokes. They’re all clearly in on the gag and think it’s funny, so they keep using it. There’s been no real life basis for them actually all being in love with each other and in some kind of swingers situation.

Second, labeling David as “queer” when he hasn’t specifically said he is himself is just plain wrong. There’s nothing “safe space” about that. Y’all just want to label him that because you want to fit him into your special little mold, so that your ship of Michael/David can set sail IRL, or so you can feel better represented. If it’s the latter, I encourage you to look at how David is an outspoken ally for the LBGTQ+ community. He’s made his voice known for years about how passionate he is about that community’s rights, and is a great high-profile ally to have. He doesn’t NEED to be queer himself if that’s not truly who he is.

Point is: Don’t label someone with a sexuality they’ve never publicly used themselves just because you want to see them that way.

If for some reason David wants to come out in the future, that’s great and I’ll support him wholeheartedly if it ever happens. But…there is NOTHING WRONG with letting him be in a happy, straight-presenting marriage with his wife. Both of them seem very happy, and both of them continue to be strong advocates for the LBGTQ+ community. Let them live their lives.

[tlou-reid]

quick lil hotch blurb bc i have no ideas!!! send requests here pls warnings: criminal mides-esque violence, unsub drugs his victims not characters are not drugged, bruises, cheesy writing where hotch and reader are undercover, not proofread or edited at all

Putting your mind to picking faces out of the crowd surrounding you and Aaron was getting increasingly harder with every step you took together. This was your first time being undercover with the BAU, and you really couldn’t fuck it up. Being the newest agent meant you felt the need to constantly be proving yourself. You needed to fit in and be good at the job.

So why were you letting yourself be distracted with the way your boss’ hand wrapped around you waist?

You and Hotch and been pulled to attend the gala at the local country club somewhere in the middle of New Jersey. The unsub had been targeting well-off, “taboo” couples. The first victims had been a married couple who were swingers, and the second had been a couple made up of a woman and her therapist. That was when the team was called in. Before the BAU had even landed, the third set of victims were a polyamorous trio. All of the couples had at least one member who was a member of a luxurious club: country clubs, yacht clubs, etc. They had been drugged, presumably by the unsub, well before the murders. However, it was appearing to be that the victims took the drugs by choice.

As the team was building their profile and studying victimology, the pattern had revealed itself. Reid set up a geographical profile with the murder sites and the clubs and found the one the unsub would be likely to come to next.

So, now, here you were. Swaying in an elegant gown with your older boss at a country club gala. A decent enough age gap was something that would be enticing to the unsub. Picking you and Hotch was the obvious choice as it would be believable. The youngest female on the team with the second oldest. Rossi would’ve been too old, the act wouldn’t have been believable. Morgan had even made a comment about how good you and Hotch looked together.

“A grey SUV just pulled up,” Prentiss informed through your ear piece. She was acting as security at the front, watching out for the car that had been spotted at the crime scene for the last couple. Hotch’s hands got tighter around your waist.

You would never know, and he would absolutely never admit, but he had been distracted as well. Your chest was pressed against his and your fingers had absentmindedly been playing with his hair from where they were wrapped around your neck. He had begun to feel relaxed in your arms, as if he was playing out a scene had been fantasizing about for a while. Maybe he had been, if he was honest.

Outside, Emily watched as the SUV drove around the back. There were undercover officers posted at all entrances. She informed everyone of its location and began to make her way inside.

It didn’t take long for the unsub to get inside. Officers had been told to let him in, but keep a very, very close eye. They couldn’t arrest him without any real proof. The plan was for him to get you to the SUV, where you would see all the drug memorabilia. The working theory was that was his rouse, getting the couples to have a ‘good time’ after earning their trust. Then, he’d take them to the murder site. His entrance sent you and Hotch into action.

You two danced for a little longer, showing off that you were a couple. Aaron had pulled you impossibly closer. “You ready?” He whispered in your ear with a fake smile. To any outsider it would look as if he was telling you sweet nothings. You responded with a curt nod, smiling as well.

You pulled away from him, “let me go grab us drinks, honey.” You put on a show, disappearing to the bar that Morgan was perched at. Hotch watched the unsub make his way over to you. The rouse had worked. He spoke your last name into his hidden mic, instructing you to be ready. You nodded, moving to be on the same side of the bar as Morgan. Being closer to the team made you feel safer.

It didn’t take long for there to be a tap on your shoulder. When you turned around, you were face to face with the unsub. The devolving unsub, who was murdering women he thought were like you. “Hello, ma’am,” he sounded so polite, it made you sick to your stomach. Hotch had begun moving closer, hand on his gun. “Are you here alone?”

“Uh,” you hesitated with fear for just a second, “no, I’m not. I’m here with my husband.” The unsub let a ‘hmm’, eyes scanning your arm, down to the ring you had put on your hand. He nodded, reaching for it. Your face twisted up, “what are you doing?”

“I bet that ring was expensive,” you could see the crazy in his eyes, “your husband must’ve worked for it.” Falling back in to your role, you let out a giggle. “Hardly, he’s a CEO. He does relatively no work and brings home the big bucks. That’s why I love him!”

“I bet he buys you a lot of nice things,” the unsub encouraged. It was as if hearing about the fake sugar daddy arrangement was turning on him on. “Oh he does! He always make sure I’m taken care of!” You were really selling it. You wanted him to think he could trust you. You needed to get thay invitation to the car.

The unsub took a step closer, and Morgan rose from his bar stool, just a few feet away. “Everything okay here?” He interrupted, trying to egg the unsub on. You went to tell him everything was fine, but the unsub took the bait.

“No!” His voice roared, pulling you into his arms. You could feel the cool press of a gun against your temple. “This isn’t okay! She’s a whore!” He was shaking, and you were trying your best to stay calm.

You were quickly surrounded by all the undercover officers that had been in the room. No civilians were allowed in, and everyone was wearing a vest. It was a dangerous setup, so safety was prioritized. Everyone’s guns were pointed at the unsub, but your brain didn’t understand that. It felt like you were being held at gunpoint by a million and one people.

“Easy, man,” Morgan coaxed. Your eyes stayed locked on his, trying to ignore the gun pressed against you and the arm that was squeezing your neck. “You gotta let her go.”

You stopped listening as Aaron’s face appeared behind Morgan. He was not pointing his gun, and he was looking right at you. You knew he was trying to calm you down with his intense stare. It was working.

It felt like you were in his arms forever, and you couldn’t hear what was going on. But you were released, pushed on the ground as the local police moved into cuff the unsub.

When your knees hit the ground, you started crying. You couldn’t hold back the tears as they began to fall. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to invite to the SUV, to do drugs. That’s what had happened with all of the other couples. Once you got him on the drug charge, the local police could get him for everything else.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron rushed to pull you into him, “I’m so sorry.” You didn’t want him to blame himself, but you couldn’t find any words as you sobbed. You just shook your head, letting him pull you into his arms. You gripped him as if your life depended on it. All the fear you had felt was surfacing and your body began to shake.

“You’re okay,” he soothed with a warm hand circling your back, “I’ve got you.” You two stayed like that until your tears subsided. Then, he reached out a hand, helping you get to your feet. To your surprise, he reached forward and wiped the tears from your eyes. His hands didn’t leave your body until you were in the back of an ambulance, getting your neck checked out from the unsub’s tight grip. He watched with worried-ridden eyes.

Aaron tucked himself into the back corner of the jet, not wanting anyone to engage with him. He felt so fucking guilty for everything had happened. How had he not seen it? Why did not he not interrupt the plan? You shouldn’t have ended up in that position, and it was his fault you had been.

His thoughts were racing and his eyes were focused on his shoes. Everyone else filed in, taking note of his seating choice. No one bothered him, until you came in. You placed yourself in the seat directly across from him, not saying anything.

It wasn’t until the jet took off that he even allowed himself to look you in the eyes. He didn’t deserve to, he knew that. “Aaron,” you started with a sigh, “please don’t do this.” He shook his head, dismissing your words. “I put your life at risk.” His voice sounded so desperate. He tried to not look at the bruise on your neck.

“That’s part of the job,” you spoke as you reached forward to grab his hands. “I put my life at risk every time we go in the field.” To your surprise, he let you hold his hands. “But this plan was stupid. We should have never even thought of it, let alone let follow through on it. There were other ways to catch him.” His voice was jaded, clearly angry at himself.

“But who knows how many more victims? Hotch, we got him. That’s what matters. We got him and we all made it back on the jet.”

“Aaron,” he said. Your face twisted up in confusion. “Please, keep calling me Aaron.”

“Aaron,” you gasped out, letting your thumb rub over his hand, “I’m okay.” You smiled at him, reinforcing your point. “I’m really glad you are.” He admitted, his grip on your hand getting tighter. “I don’t think this is appropriate, but I’d like to take you dancing for real. To say I’m sorry.” You let a little gasp, surprised at his words.

Your cheeks were heating up as your eyes scanned his face to make sure he was serious. Once you concluded he was, your face lit up into a wide smile. “Consider it a date.”

[violetsiren90]

Thunder and Pineapple Rum (Mini Teaser)

Pairing: pan!he/him!Yoongi x bi!she/her!Reader x aro!he/they!Jimin x bi!she/her!Hwasa

Genre: Swinger AU; drabble; porn with (enough of a) plot (I guess?); established relationship; soft swap hook-up; sensual smut; itsy bitsy angst (if you're checking with your opera glasses); GROWN summer vibes.

Summary: While visiting his alma mater for a class reunion, you and Yoongi stop by an intriguingly atmospheric bar for drinks with his erstwhile underclassman, Jimin. After Jimin and the beautiful bartender make a surprising revelation, you and Yoongi decide to help them close down for the night...and explore some uncharted territories.

Warnings: 18+ (minors, dni); warnings here are for the teaser, detailed warnings will be released with the full drabble; voyeurism; swinging; established couple with male and female identifying unicorns; massage; implied kissing; partial disrobing; mentions of alcohol and consuming alcohol

Author's Note: Happy Pride Month!!! 🏳‍🌈 Hopefully the rest of this will drop before the end of June. That's the plan, anyway. In case no one has told you today, you're loved and worthy of love. I hope you have the absolute BEST day.🧜💜

Teaser under the cut!

___________________________________________________________

"Why don't you let us enjoy her for a moment, Yoongi," Hwasa purrs in soft command as her hand on his shoulder gently pushes him down into Jimin's abandoned chair. Yoongi gives a strained hum of assent and swallows, his thoat bobbing as he stares at you, perched on the bar, and Jimin, who has slipped behind you, caressing and massaging your back. Hwasa pulls off your heels and places them on on the floor, then pushes herself between your legs, looking up at you with those delicious, dark, poison apple eyes. You want to lean down and taste her again, but she has other plans. She glides her hands over your thighs, long nails tracing tingly patterns over the black denim, and you shiver. Another peal of thunder rumbles, vibrating the thick, warm air.

"She smells good," Jimin remarks indulgently as you feel his profile ghost over your back through your gauzy blouse. Hwasa smiles.

"We want to take another shot, but we're aaaall out of glasses," she whispers as she presses herself against you, bringing her soft, ample chest to push into your abdomen. "Wanna help us out, gorgeous?" You feel your slick gush a little at the pet name, and at the prospect of what was to come. You nod. Hwasa shakes her head and taps your parted lips. "Words, gorgeous."

"Yes," you whisper shakily, earning a naughty chuckle from Jimin. As they help you turn to lay your body across the bar, you glance over at Yoongi, who hasn't moved an inch - pupils blown out, and hands twitching on his thighs as his stare tracks Hwasa's hands pushing your blouse up and under your breasts, tucking some of the fabric into the underwire of your bra. Her pretty hand traces lazily over your bare stomach as she prompts Jimin with one word.

"Rum."

-End teaser-

[woodsmanwife]

Not sure if anyone's on SDC, but we have a profile there.

[transmonstera]

(sorry if this is like too personal feel free to not answer if you want lol) i saw your tags on that poll about nudity and wanted to know how you go about finding sex clubs? i’ve been curious about it myself and wanting to go to one but don’t know where i get started in finding one

tbh it kind of all depends on your area and where you are! I can only speak for my "local" ones (in my nearest city about a 30 minute drive). the one I went to didn't specifically say it's trans friendly but when going it was nice to find I was not the only trans person there though it was still heavily cis dominated and somewhat focused (to some extent, but again it was full of nice respectful people so I didn't feel out of place). the good part about it was that it had a very chill atmosphere and it being a sex club it was Extremely consent enforced by other people looking out for others as well as the staff themselves. I do recommend going with someone you know for a first visit and on a quiet time/day too if you can because they can be a little daunting!

in regards to finding one, at least in the UK, most of them have their own websites as well as profiles on swingers (and other similar) forums. I'm sure you could even find kink specific ones or clubs with kink themed nights if you wanted to! again I'm not sure how best to advise as I'm limited to only knowing personally of a few in my local area and I also haven't been to one since before covid

feel free to ask anything else if you want though!

[reckless-glitch]

saw someone with just a pineapple for a profile pic on a dating site and got stuck wondering if they're a werewolf, a swinger, or both

[peachyykira]

“Hi yes my account only seems to be run by me, only has a picture of my cock, but we are a swinger couple looking for a woman…”

Sure Jan.

Also genuinely wanna know what about any of my profiles gives the impression that I am either a) a swinger or b) looking for anything casual 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Like I’m not really like “looking” for anything other than friends or community. And that fucking means FRIENDS. Jfc it’s so bad the past day or so.

[msmorningstaarr]

no one can convince me otherwise that if daemon and rhaenyra were a modern couple they would be at least swingers or those type of couples who makes a couple profile on bumble looking for a third person/says to you: “we saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe…” and i’m not proud to type that i think about it at least once a week

[divinekangaroo]

So on my ‘find a pet sitter’ app it’s so weird: all these pet sitters advertising themselves using The most sexy pictures ever, fully made up, filters on, that weird duck pout look, specialist lighting, show the cleavage etc . I accidentally clicked a husband-wife pet sitter profile and thought I’d somehow installed and teleported into a swingers app or something by accident.

in the end I picked a lady who’s profile photo was a giant stick insect in her palm

[bogfern]

how to say on your dating profile that you're poly but not in a cringe way. you're poly but not in the same way all the swingers up north are. that you're looking for a nice committed triad and not something tiered. the list goes on.

[away-ward]

This part of the fic also had me confused

“Banks returned the look. Both of them had heard the taunts and the rumors over the years, the ones about their family. Sometimes they were poly; sometimes they were swingers. Sometimes, it was just straight up cheating. No one knew and no one understood, which was fine, because they didn’t need them to.”

what did you mean by this?

Ah, okay. So, for clarification:

I HC (and it seems that it's supported considering the most recent bonus scene), that the horsemen and their wives are sort of high profile in their communities. At least three members of their crew would be recognized nationwide, but they're all pretty well known and recognized in Thunder Bay and Meridian. Because of this, people gossip about them. And I HC that part of the gossip are the rumors that circulate about, what exactly are they?

Are they all in some sort of poly-relationship? Maybe it's an open relationship?

Are they swingers - people who engage in group sex and the swapping of sexual partners?

Or are they just cheating on their spouses, but because it's money and fame, divorce isn't an option?

And what Banks is thinking here is that none of the people outside their family know what they are, and they couldn't understand the bonds of love they share. And that's okay, because they don't need people to understand them.

So, I personally, don't really want to go into their sex lives and the swapping. I won't erase it, since it is canon, but it's not the part of the story I'm interested in, so I'll ignore it for the most part. Truthfully, I'd be happier without it, and would prefer if their bonds were built on something else. Here, I'm neither admitting that they swap partners or confirming it. Just that other people don't understand them, which has been the theme for the entire series.

Let me know if further clarification is needed! Thanks for reading.

-KO

[sissymissysworld]

Being turned into a Pro

So we’ve been in this dynamic now for a couple of years and over that time we’ve progressed from just the two of us having vanilla fun to pegging, chastity, Fem Dom, FLR, foursomes and me being cucked by my Mistress.

But things took a bit of a turn recently when our finances took a hit as Mistress lost her job She hated relying on me to support her financially and wanted to earn her own money.

So she came up with this money-making scheme where all the money went to her. I would keep my normal wages but as she was totally in charge of our sexual relationship she was going to start pimping me out and charging for me to be used, fucked and abused.

She had heard about a few dogging sites nearby, a glory hole and she said we should also use Grindr, fab guys and fab swingers to try and get some business.

As I was her submissive and she had a signed, notorised and witnessed contract I had no choice in any of this and had to obey her wishes.

As our sexual FLR dynamic lasted from Friday until Sunday every week. This was to be what we would do from now on until she could find a new job and she was to keep all the proceeds.

I don’t usually get dolled up and dressed every weekend. But to maximise any financial aspect of this. I was now to keep myself fully smooth and to dress up from Friday to Sunday from now on to be available at any and every time someone wanted my services.

So I was to be very active on all the internet sites and like people's profiles, send winks and taps etc and from that strike up conversations and try and engage with men or even a woman if that’s what she wanted.

The second night a guy was really showing interest in Grindr and asked me to send some pics, I had some stored, so I sent a couple and he said he really wanted to meet me that night. I told him that I had a mistress and that the only way she would let me come and meet him is if he paid for my services. At first, he refused but after some discussion on the price. We agreed on £15 for a blow job and £50 if he chose to fuck me.

So I got all dolled up, Mistress put my cock cage on me as I was to have no play on me just in case the guy wanted to play with my cock. She plugged my ass as well. This was a remote control vibrating plug which has a range of 30 metres. As Mistress was to drive me to the meet, she was hoping she could still use it on me, while I was being used like a whore.

We got to his house and I was told to use the back door, which is apt as that’s exactly what he did to me 30 mins later.

He opened the door, invited me in and wasted no time. He gave me £50 as he said he’d decided he wanted a blow job and to fuck me too. Once again I had no choice in this as I had a signed contract and I did whatever Mistress instructed me to.

He led me to the living room where he had some porn on playing. I didn’t really look closely but it looked like porn with a guy fucking a crossdresser. Maybe he was getting some tips. He sat next to me on the sofa and started to stroke my neck and hair. and I put my hand on his crotch. I’m used to being dominated by my Mistress and following instructions but I had to take the lead here as he was just sitting there waiting for me to pleasure him.

I took out his cock and it was about 5 or 6 inches. Nothing huge but enough to play with. I started to stroke him and I asked him if he wanted me to suck it. He nodded, so I put my hair in a rough bun with a bobble and got down to work. I got on my knees and first started on his balls all the time looking up at him and maintaining eye contact. I then took his growing head in my mouth and went down slowly as it all disappeared down my throat. Mistress had been having me practice on dildos for the last 2 years. So his 6 inches wasn’t a problem. I took it all like a pro. Mistress wanted me to do the best blow job ever, as she wanted me to get him to tell all his friends as she wanted to make as much money as possible. I was going up and down on his cock nice and slowly as I heard him groan with pleasure. He then grabbed my hair and got me to stop and held my hand and took me upstairs.

We got to his bedroom and he took down his trousers and his shirt off. He was standing there just in his socks. I asked him how he wanted me, and he said bent over the bed legs spread. I did as I was told, and he slowly pulled down my panties to reveal my caged cock and plug. Just as he started to remove the plug it vibrated. Mistress must have seen the light go on and wanted me to know that she knew what was happening.

Once he’d removed the plug my ass was still gaping wide and he slid in his cock without any hesitation. He wasn’t taking his time and he was quite fast and rough. He just fucked me hard for about a minute before he turned me around and came all over my face ruining my make-up. I cleaned off his cock and he then just got up and sat on the bed. There I was a used whore with £50 in my purse for Mistress. I straightened myself up, popped my plug back in and got up and left.

I got back to the car and realised I’d left my knickers in his house. I gave Mistress the £50 and told her I’d forgotten my panties. She then told me not to worry. As I have another customer in 30 mins and 2 more after that, so I wouldn’t be needing them for the rest of the night.

And that’s the first night I was a whore for my Mistress it’s been 6 weeks now and I’ve been a working girl every Friday, Saturday and Sunday since then. Mistress's last count was that I’d averaged 14 men a weekend. But she thinks we can easily increase this if we go to the glory hole. I also have a few regulars now too so I don’t see this ending any time soon.

I’m making Mistress about £500 a week so I’m not sure she’s even looking for a job right now. I guess I better get used to my new weekends.

[maschotch]

You mentioning the fact that they're profilers is so real bc like it honest to god ASTOUNDS me how badly they all read hotch like he so so so so clearly cares for every member of the Bau WAAYYY more than he cares for him self and he's literally never shown otherwise??? Like even the whole drill boss stuff or whatever tf he said he's never aggressive with the group if they mess up he's always understanding but fair and most is pretty much the first one to comfort them (if the script allows) UNLESS he's going through some shit IE the whole divorce plot and foyet AND IT BAFFLES ME HOW EVERYONE FUCKING MISSES IT CONSIDERING ITS THEIR J O B

they’re all kinda bad at profiling each other but istg they have to TRY to understand hotch so poorly… i’m trying to think of a moment where he yells at them when they’re not directly putting themselves in danger or in the immediate aftermath of him getting attacked in his fucking home, but i cant think of anything?? he doesnt like being harsh with them and he learns the hard way with the elle situation that it doesnt get them anywhere. the only time he was unduly upset w someone was with emily in the beginning and that’s only bc he thought she was either a nepotism hire (which she kinda was) or a plant for strauss (which she kinda was)

he’s “strict” but like?? is he?? he does half their paperwork for them and they dont even know it. instead of doing things by the book and getting reid fired, he turned the other way and let him work through his drug problem. maybe he says “no” sometimes, but he usually relents anyway—like when jj has a feeling ab a case or when he calls the fucking vatican for emily. if he was a drill sergeant, would he let garcia keep a bunch of clutter on her desk and dress in bright clothing?? he doesnt coddle them or anything bc that’s not really his personality, but he’s gentle w them and even praises them when he knows they need it. he doesnt always step in and help when he should (i think that honestly has more to do w him being self conscious than anything—he doesnt want a drill sergeant/bully to make things worse), but he keeps a close eye on each of their wellbeing and will quietly urge one of the others to help out if someone’s in a tough spot

sure he doesn’t smile a whole lot and he’s known for his perpetually neutral face, but at the same time it’s not very hard to tell how he’s feeling. he’s effective at his job, he’s good at playing the tough guy, but tbh he let’s things get to him easily. he takes their criticism to heart and does his best to be better. he HATES seeing any of them hurt: ever notice how after what happened with elle he never uses his own agents as bait like that again? he either uses himself (like the fight club episode) or one of the team volunteers and he relents (like emily in the omegaverse swingers episode). they misread his social awkwardness as being cold when really i think he’s just mildly uncomfortable being the center of attention in an unprofessional setting.

it’s wild to me how frequently they misjudge him. i think he kinda knows and almost encourages it?? while still considering their judgements genuine?? morgan is a great example: of all his subordinates, morgan has worked with him the longest, since before he was in charge of the team. so you’d think morgan would have the best insight. but morgan has a complicated relationship w authority figures and tends to be automatically defensive out of habit. essentially, he’s been projecting on hotch since day one and has been blinded by the convoluted series of lenses he sees hotch through: as a constantly rotating mixture of buford, stilinski, and his father. it’s prevented him for actually seeing hotch for who he is, and hotch seems to make no real effort to correct any of those presumptions. but hotch still takes it personally when morgan criticizes him (prob bc it feeds his own negative view of his self worth and uses it as justification for whatever self loathing bullshit he’s on)

basically, hotch knows everyone has skewed perceptions of him and is fine letting their delusions continue uninterrupted—encourages it, even. he’s more comfortable receiving scathing remarks, even if they’re inaccurate, bc it allows him to continue his own delusion ab his place in the world. if they hate him (or if he thinks they hate him), it gives him a reason to hate himself. which is why i think he kinda likes that they’re bad at profiling him. it’s a way to receive that negative attention without actually being vulnerable. it’s a very very passive manipulation—more like he’s allowing them to manipulate themselves—that feeds his self loathing. i think he does it on purpose, so i cant necessarily fault the others for so drastically misunderstanding hotch. especially since they do get better at it over the seasons: they’re able to see through his defense mechanisms a little more, even if they still cant see him clearly

[reductosshrinkgun]

I'm bored aka so here's a list of dating apps I use and my mini reviews:

Feeld - originally the most promising because it's more for polyam people; also the most fun at first. Has since devolved into lots of couples/swingers looking for thirds. Overall as someone who is interested in finding a primary, it hasn't been helpful. 7/10

OKCupid - has excellent identity options but has been paywalling too many features. And not to be mean but everyone I see say they like it best is typically white and a level of nerd that I'm not at. 5/10

Her - so I originally avoided this one because of the name, but this is where a lot of Black trans mascs are in my area which was exciting. The site and interface is cute and I love the banners you can use. But no one reads profiles; and there are too many "no poly" and "no mascs/femmes" comments for me to feel like I belong there. 5/10

Jack'd/Scruff - these are essentially the same cruising app. Like seriously they are exactly the same but color coded lmao. In DC Jack'd (red) has mainly Black queer men and Scruff (blue) has mainly white. I love the tagging system but can't find people in my area using said tags. I bumped it up a point because they're both less overwhelming than Grindr. 4/10

Grindr - has the most trans/non-binary people but finding each other also means opening yourself up to chasers. There's a wild mix on here but I get both the most messages and the most unwanted dick pics. Feels the most chaotic (though apparently Sniffies is worse lmao) but also has a great tagging system. The app also paywalls *a lot* and there are *constant* long ads. I would rate it so much higher without the ads. 3/10

Anywho they all ultimately suck and I hate them but still lurk on them 🤸🏾‍♂️. I'm a sex neutral ace/demi who's kinky af and I have limited time/energy. I look for people who are interested in intentional communication and kink education. I have not found a good app for my needs, at all, and figure I never will lol.

Like, if I was into NSA or FWBs I would be *eating* right now. But since I'm not (and I'm COVID cautious) it's hard as fuck to find good matches. It's all pretty stressful and demoralizing, so I don't take these apps seriously anymore. And they're all fucking paywalled and make us commodity ourselves in ways I'm not comfortable with.

(There are also multiple guides for trans masculine ppl and cruising apps like Jack'd/Scruff/Grindr. They have a lot of possibilities, they just don't work for me right now.)

[pineapplenetwork]

Exploring the World of Swingers Sites: Unveiling the Art of Crafting a Captivating Profile and Stunning Photos

Introduction:

In recent years, the internet has opened up new avenues for individuals interested in the swinging lifestyle. Swingers sites such as Swingers Heaven, FabSwingers, and the Pineapple app have gained popularity as platforms that connect like-minded individuals seeking consensual non-monogamous experiences. When delving into this exciting realm, one of the essential aspects is creating an appealing profile and presenting eye-catching photos. In this article, we'll delve into the art of crafting an enticing profile and capturing stunning photos that will make you stand out in the swinging community.

Understanding the Importance of a Well-Written Profile:

Your profile is your first impression in the online swinging world. It's crucial to invest time and effort into creating a profile that accurately reflects your desires, personality, and boundaries. Here are some tips to help you craft a compelling profile:

a. Be Honest: Honesty is key when describing yourself, your interests, and your intentions. Be transparent about what you're seeking and what you can offer to potential partners.

b. Showcase Your Personality: Inject your profile with your unique character and charm. Use humor, wit, and creativity to make your profile memorable and engaging.

c. Communicate Your Boundaries: Clearly articulate your boundaries and expectations. This helps ensure that you attract individuals who align with your desires, leading to more successful and enjoyable experiences.

d. Highlight Your Interests: Share your hobbies, passions, and interests to find common ground with potential partners. This can facilitate meaningful connections beyond the physical realm.

Captivating Profile Photos:

When it comes to online dating or swinging platforms, appealing photos can significantly impact your chances of attracting potential partners. Here are some tips for taking captivating profile photos:

a. Focus on Quality: Use a high-resolution camera or smartphone to capture sharp and clear images. Blurry or pixelated photos may deter potential matches.

b. Showcase Your Best Self: Highlight your physical attributes and dress in a way that makes you feel confident. However, it's important to strike a balance between showcasing your attractiveness and staying authentic.

c. Include Variety: Display a range of photos that showcase different facets of your life. This could include images from everyday activities, hobbies, and, if comfortable, tasteful revealing images that align with the swinging lifestyle.

d. Use Natural Lighting: When taking photos, natural lighting tends to be the most flattering. Avoid using harsh flash, as it can distort the image and cast unflattering shadows.

e. Show Respect: Remember to respect the privacy and boundaries of others. Never share or upload explicit or identifying photos without explicit consent from all parties involved.

Conclusion:

Swingers sites like Swingers Heaven, FabSwingers, and the Pineapple app provide a digital space for those interested in exploring the swinging lifestyle. Crafting an engaging profile and capturing stunning photos are essential steps in maximizing your potential for successful connections within the swinging community. By being authentic, honest, and respectful, you can present yourself in a way that attracts like-minded individuals who align with your desires and boundaries. Embrace the exciting opportunities that these platforms offer, always prioritizing communication, consent, and mutual enjoyment.

More articles at www.pineapplenetwork.net