#surely there are no other famous sports guys with those names? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tomssexdoll · 4 months ago

Text

"I just need love for one night"

PAIRINGS: Tom 2010 x Female reader

CONTENT: SMUT

SYPNOSIS: Tom is known as a player, a famous guitarist for his band Tokio Hotel. He is known for fucking girls and just dumping them afterwards, but this time it was different, he felt drawn to y/n, she wasn't like any other woman he hooked up with, she was confident, not throwing herself onto him.

A/N: if you want to be tagged or i accidently missed your tag comment on my pinned masterlist <3

WARNINGS: dom!tom, sub!reader, p in v (missionary), eating out, fingering, light mentions of alcohol

Tom Kaulitz, the lead guitarist of his band Tokio Hotel, a player, womaniser, at least that's how he made himself out to be. I was out at a bar, having some drinks with my friends when he waltzed in, wearing his signature black bandana, his black braids resting on his shoulder, his dark blue jeans and white shirt, topped off with a baggy black jacket.

He walked like he owned the place, eyeing women up and down, a cocky smile on his face as looked around. He was hot, I had to admit. I didn't know much about him, other than he was in a famous band. I mean, his face was plastered all over the city, promoting their album and upcoming tour.

Him and his band mates sat down next to me, all ordering their drinks. Once he took notice of me he decided to make his move, leaning closer to me, "what's your name sweetheart?" he said, flashing me a charming smile, his eyes locking onto mine.

"Y/N," I said bluntly, his gaze lingered over my body as I spoke, "mmh..such a lovely name for a lovely girl.." he chuckled, a hint of a german accent lacing his words, moving his hand gently up my thigh.

"Don't touch!" I slapped his hand off, a surprised look washing over his face before his cocky smile returned, "mmh..feisty are we? I like that," he chuckled, a low and sultry sound.

His hand slowly inched back towards my thigh, the challenge in my eyes only fuelled his desire to conquer me. "Let me get you a drink princess, anything you want, hm?" he leaned in even closer, his breath hot against my ear, the scent of his cologne enveloping me.

"Just a vodka redbull," I smirked, not passing on the opportunity for a free drink. By now my friends were gone, they ditched me to go dance and flirt with guys. Tom signalled the bartender, ordering the drink I requested and a shot of whiskey for himself. His eyes never left mine as he leaned back into his stool.

Once the bartender has prepared my drink, Tom handed it over with a smirk, his fingers brushing against mine, "here we go, sweet thing," he watched as I took small sips, humming in approval.

His pupils dilated as he kept watching me, the way my lips wrapped around the straw, desire building up rapidly in him. "I want to see those lips wrapped around something else besides that straw.." he said, his voice husky and low.

"Yeah I'm sure you do.." I flirted back, I had to admit, his dirty talk and flirting had an effect of me, but he didn't have to know that. I didn't want to just leap into his arms like most girls, I wanted him to earn it.

After an hour of more flirting and drinking, I stood up, "let's get out of here," I smirked, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the bar. Once outside, he quickly opened the door of his sleek, black sports car with a flourish, helping me inside, "after you sweetheart," I sat in the passenger seat, getting comfortable as he started the car, the engine roaring as he sped off.

As we drove I noticed he was acting really restless, his forehead sweaty and his hands fidgety on the wheel, "are you okay?" I chuckled, noticing the way he kept glancing back and forth at my cleavage, a smirk forming on my face "it's nothing.." he huffed out, his jaw clenched as he tried to fight back his urges, "if you say so.." I said, looking out the window.

I wasn't going to be like most girls and jump at the opportunity to fuck him, I wanted him to get riled up, to crave me, give into his desires without me having to do anything.

Tom let out a low growl, unable to resist any longer. He quickly pulled the car over, the tired screeching as the car came to a halt on the side of the road, "fuck it.." he grumbled, reaching out and grabbing my face roughly, smashing his lips into mine.

My eyes widened and I immediately kissed him back, our lips moving in a passionate rhythm. He couldn't get enough of me, his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth, his fingers tangling in my hair, pulling on it roughly as he deepened the kiss. He couldn't wait until he got home, he needed me now.

"Get in the back seat baby..." he mumbled against my lips, pulling away from the kiss to look into my eyes, his eyes dark with lust. Without waiting for a response he unbuckled both of our seatbelts, I climbed into the backseat first, he followed shortly after, pulling me on top of his lap.

I gently grinded on his crotch, pulling him back into another passionate kiss as I reached down, unbuttoning my skirt and sliding my tight top off. "Fuck..you're so hot.." he grunted against my lips, helping me remove my clothes, his hands lingering on every inch of my exposed skin.

He could feel his cock hardening beneath me, straining against the zipper of his pants. He quickly laid me down onto the cool leather seats, taking off my skirt completely. He then reached down into his pocket, pulling out a condom and taking it between his teeth. He fidgeted with his belt, quickly undoing his jeans and sliding them down, the only barrier between us being his boxers and my stockings.

"Fuck..." he gasped, tracing his fingers up and down my legs, easing closer to my burning heat. He couldn't wait any longer, pushing his boxers down and freeing his thick, throbbing cock. His large calloused hands gripped my hips, groaning in relief as he rubbed the head of his dick against my wet panties, coating it in my juices.

"Fuck, I need to be inside you now.." he groaned, tearing the plastic wrapping of the condom, placing the rubber on his tip and slowly sliding it down, letting it engulf his entire cock.

As he finished, he reached down, ripping a hole in my stockings to make his way to my needy cunt, not caring about the damage. He spread my legs wide, pushing my panties to the side and thrusting his cock inside of me in one brutal stroke, not even giving me a moment to adjust to his size.

"Fuck!" I whined, he grabbed my wrists, pinning them above my head as he began to thrust into me roughly, his hips pounding against mine as he gives into his desires. The sound of my skin slapping against his filling the car, the air hot and thick with longing.

I moaned loudly, looking up at him as his cock slammed into me brutally, his face contorting in pleasure as his length repeatedly fucked my tight hole, feeling it clench around him.

He leaned down, capturing my mouth in a brutal kiss as he continued to fuck me relentlessly. His tongue dominated mine, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip as he swallowed my moans. His thrusts became even more punishing, his balls slapping against my ass with each powerful stroke.

"Oh my god! Fuckk!" I cried out, throwing my head back as I felt his tip teasing my g spot. "You like that, don't you, you little slut.." he moaned against my lips, his voice rumbling against my chest as he continued to work his pulsing cock inside me. "I knew you were made for this cock, from the moment I laid my eyes on you.." he smirked, trailing kisses down my cheek to my neck, sucking harshly.

"Fuck..you're so tight, so fucking perfect.." he snarled, his voice muffled against my neck, he left dark purple hickeys all over my neck and shoulder. He leaned back to admire his handiwork, grinning with a dominating, possessive smirk.

He couldn't get enough of my pussy, basically drunk off of it, he hoisted my legs up onto his shoulders, the new angle allowing him to drive his cock even further into my sopping hole. "Yess! Fuck it's so good, oh my god!" I whimpered, arching my back to meet his thrusts.

"Cum for me baby, cmon!" he said, raising his voice, his eyes rolling back in his head as he felt my pussy clench around his cock, milking him for all he's worth.

With one final, brutal thrust, he sent the both of us into orgasm, burying himself to the hilt inside me and erupting, his massive load of thick cum flooding my pussy. I let out a string of soft whines and moans as I came on his cock, my juicy slowly dripping down his cock.

"I need you again..fuck I can't get enough of you.." he mumbled, his chest heaving as he calmed down from his orgasm. It was funny, Tom Kaulitz, known player wanted me so badly? Allegedly he'd just fuck girls and leave, but this time, it was different.

It's like he was addicted to me, he couldn't get enough of my touch, my pussy, my skin, everything, "you're so fucking beautiful..so perfect, need to make you mine.." he groaned, slowly moving his head in between my thighs.

He kissed and licked my inner thighs, his tongue tracing patterns on my sensitive skin until he reached my dripping wet cunt. He parted my lips with his fingers and buried his face between them, devouring my pussy like a starved man.

"Oh my god...fuck..mmh..so good.." he grumbled, his chest heaving as his tongue lashing against my swollen clit, sucking on it greedily as his hands grabbed onto my thighs tightly, his fingers digged into my skin possessively, a sign of his unyielding desire for me.

I moaned loudly, grinding my pussy against his face, my hand travelling down to his braids, gentling tugging on them, "fuckk! Keep going!" I whined. Tom growled against my flesh, spreading my thighs even wider as he buried his face deeper into my folds. His tongue thrusted in and out of me, mimicking the motion of his hips as he devoured me whole.

He was thrilled at the taste of my arousal and the feeling of my body shaking beneath him. He sucked on my clit harshly as his fingers creeped up, plunging into me, hooking upwards to hit that sensitive spot inside.

"Fuck!" I yelped, he chuckled softly at my reaction, he continued to work his fingers in and out of me, fucking me relentlessly. "You're so wet for me, aren't you?" he smirked, adding a third finger into my tight hole, stretching me further, "y-yes! All for you!" I whimpered, throwing my head back.

His mouth never left my clit, sucking and licking it furiously, "i'm gonna keep going until you cum all over my face, understand?" he growled, I nodded eagerly, my eyes screwed shut as I focused on my orgasm.

He increased the pace of his fingers, pounding into my pussy with reckless abandon as he sucked my clit with savage intensity. The combination of his hand and mouth was too much for me to handle and I could feel my orgasm building to a crescendo, my chest heaving intensely, "fuck, you're going to cum, aren't you?" he chuckled, noticing how much his actions were affecting me.

I couldn't form any words, just nodding my head and moaning loudly, answering all of toms questions. The sound of my moans spurred him on, doubling the intensity of his fingers as he started to feel me clench around them, feeling my body tense up "cum for me, cmon baby!" he raised his voice, egging me on.

It all became too much and my orgasm crashed down, I moaned loudly and came all over his fingers, my legs shaking as I rode out my high. I panted, trying to regain my breath after such an intense orgasm. He smirked, slowly sliding his fingers out of me, bringing them to his mouth and licking them clean, "mmh...delicious," he murmured, his voice low and satisfied.

He helped me put my clothes back on, kissing me gently and carrying me back to the passenger seat. Before taking off back to my house, he asked for my number, but it was almost like he was too embarrassed to ask, I giggled at his shyness and grabbed his phone, typing in my number.

As he dropped me off home, he couldn't stop thinking about me, his thoughts clouded by me. He found himself longing for me, craving me like a drug, needing me around him, not just for sex but just to be around me like he had never before. He had never felt like this with any other girl, forming no emotional attachment to them, but this was different, he needed me again.

He smiled at his phone, my number staring back at him.

tags: @ballhair @bills-wife-1 @bkaulitzlover

tags: @ella1289 @tomscumdoll @billsdolliest

tags: @tomkslut @billsdolliest @miyukafujii

tags: @pa1n-0f-l0ve @tomsfuckdoll

157 notes · View notes

landitolover · 1 year ago

Text

𝒅𝒖𝒍𝒄𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 part three | previous part ౨ৎ oscar x reader

yourusername • 10 minutes ago

send message ♡ ➣

oscarpiastri replied to this story

oscarpiastri

cute cat

yourusername

wow who is this famous man in my dms

🤔😲

oscarpiastri

not famous

yourusername

ok mr f1 driver

oscarpiastri

i said cute cat

🙄🙄

yourusername

me and my cat 🤓

oscarpiastri

very cute, did you know that ?

yourusername

what?

yeah she is

oscarpiastri

wait no

i meant you?

yourusername

🤔

ohmygod.

oscarpiastri

sorry that was odd

yourusername

😭😭🫠🫠😵‍💫😵‍💫

no it’s okay

thank you

you’re cute too ‘!:&;&;/$:@/&;@,&/&-“/&;

oscarpiastri

😅😅

thank you

yourusername

of course

i gotta bounce

bye!!!

oscarpiastri

bye, talk to you later?

yourusername

of course 😊

y/n ⛄️

GUYS

HELLO

HELP

xienma 🛐

yeah?

madeline 🤺

are you okay queen 🙏🏼

y/n ⛄️

DULCE

HOTLINE

GUY

xienma 🛐

WHAT HAPPENED

WHAT DID HE DO

y/n ⛄️

he said i was CUTE???????

then i told him i had to BOUNCE?!?!?!??

madeline 🤺

LMFAOOOOO

loser ahh

jkjk

y/n ⛄️

he’s so cute guys

i wanna bite him (affectionately)

xienma 🛐

his fans tho 😭😭

THEY GON GET UUU

y/n ⛄️

me fighting the bad fans

madeline 🤺

i’m just imagining u on those

wag gossip accounts 😭😭

‘oscar piastri spotted with a NORMAL girl named y/n l/n

and we already found her insta 🤫’

y/n ⛄️

NO STOP

that’s so SCARY…

xienma 🛐

our baby is gonna be all grown up

becoming a wag for a sport she doesn’t

know about 😔

y/n ⛄️

i don’t even know him like that 🌝

like YEAH, i stalked his insta and

found his old karting pics..

and stalked his twitter

and the mclaren youtube channel

BUT I DONT KNOW HIM

madeline 🤺

it’s giving delusional, obsessed,

crazy, insane ass bitch

xienma 🛐

ily mad but ik you aren’t talking…

u FOUND UR SITUATIONSHIPS HOUSE

ON ZILLOW???

y/n ⛄️

literally….. bro

biggest hater n for WHAT

I aint setting you up with none of his friends 🤓

madeline 🤺

OH NAWUH

PLEASE 😭

y/n ⛄️

don’t talk to me 🙄🙄

i’m going to my bed

and i’m goin to cry

for embarrassing myself

xienma 🛐

go talk to him later

give it like an hour tho

don’t wanna seem obsessed x

y/n ⛄️

ur right ok

bye

im gonna think abt my actions 😞

madeline 🤺

bye queen 👩‍🍳

oscah 🦅

LANDO

HELP

landoh 🥸

bro what do u want

i swear

DONT EVEEEN MENTION HER…..

oscah 🦅

oh uhmm

hahaha 😅 totally wasn’t gonna mention her

landoh 🥸

atp just tell me 🤦

oscah 🦅

THANK YOU

okay so

i called her cute

and i think she freaked out

landoh 🥸

bro u were supposed to act mysterious

🙄🙄 u were supposed to play hard to get!!!

oscah 🦅

lando what

OK BUT DO U THINK I SHOULDNT HAVE CALLED HER CUTE THEN????

landoh 🥸

ok no

how did u say it first of all

oscah 🦅

okay so she sent me like a mirror selfie

landoh 🥸

mirror selfie u say 😏😏

oscah 🦅

🤨🤨

OK but her cat was in it

and i was like “very cute, did you know that?”

landoh 🥸

OK RIZZLERR 😍😍

oscah 🦅

but.

landoh 🥸

but? 🤔

oscah 🦅

SHE THOUGHT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

HER CAT.

landoh 🥸

thats embarrassing

oscah 🦅

yeah but then i told her i was

talking about her and not her cat

then she said I was cute as well 😊

but she left in a rush

landoh 🥸

u are cute babe 😉😉

okay no but

idk she wants u 😂‼️

oscah 🦅

i am stalking her instagram rn

landoh 🥸

again???

i litch saw u stalking it when we were in a meeting with zak 😭

oscah

You’re lying on my name

landoh

no need to be embarrassed 🥸🥸

my boy is all grown up!!!

oscah 🦅

😒😒

landoh 🥸

dont give me attitude

I am literally the reason why you

even know her!! U WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN ON DULCE HOTLINE IF IT WASNT FOR ME

oscah 🦅

okay thanks i guess

🤦🤦

landoh 🥸

pull up hoe

oscah 🦅

I DIDNT DO ANYTHING???

landoh 🥸

DONT talk to me

🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼

oscah 🦅

my honest reaction

okay bye mate

landoh 🥸

bye oscah

don’t embarrass yourself again

oscah 🦅

i wont

hopefully 🤔

Liked by madeline_han, xienmasventura, landonorris, and 4,902 others

yourusername man i sure do love myself

View all 120 comments

user realest mfo out there

user lando?? hello??

user why is lando in the likes

madeline_han LMFAOO WHY IS HIS HOMEBOY IN UR LIKES

→ yourusername stop idk?? 🤷‍♀️

→ landonorris I didn’t mean to double tap……

→ yourusername 🤔🤔

xienmasventura ily ur so cute

→ yourusername ilym gorgeous 🫶🏼

landonorris **** is drooling over these photos

→ user the censor?? 🤔🤔🤔

oscarpiastri

you looked pretty in your post

yourusername

ahhh 🤭

thank you

oscarpiastri

yeah of course :)

sorry that lando was in your likes

yourusername

no it’s fine

it’s just kinda funny 😭

oscarpiastri

this could be us, just saying 🤷🤷

like could be us if you gave me your number…

yourusername

the garfield to my arlene 🙈

I’m convinced 🤗

my number is ***-***-***

oscarpiastri

okay 😊

y/n ⛄️

CODE RED!!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

HE ASKED FOR MY NUMBER.

xienma 🛐

you gave it to him

RIGHT????

y/n ⛄️

duh 🙄

madeline 🤺

omg 😱😱

the number … big steps

y/n ⛄️

ik im FREAKING out

xienma 🛐

who does this lil boy think he is 🙄

stealing my gf 😭😪

y/n ⛄️

dw bae, i’m 4ever urs

madeline 🤺

why was his homeboy in ur likes tho

y/n ⛄️

idk tbh 😭

i think it was an accident

xienma 🛐

stop cause he’s kinda….

madeline 🤺

OKK GIRL……

🌝

xienma 🛐

stfu thats why your ex looked like the blonde

bitch from polar express 💀💀

y/n ⛄️

naw thats foul

now ME PERSONALLY….. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

ok bye HE MESSAGED ME 😊

oscar 😊

heeyoo

sorry i didn’t message you right away 😅

y/n

no that’s fine 😭

soo what are you up to

oscar 😊

nothing much

I’m pretty bored tbh

y/n

me too 😪

oscar 😊

i suck at 8 ball

y/n

i doubt it

now play back 😠😠

oscar 😊

yes ma’am

wait why am i kinda good

y/n

i’m the goat at 8 ball

oscar 😊

if i win u owe me a kiss

y/n

ig you aren’t getting a kiss??

oscar 😊

🙄🙄

🤷🤷??

y/n

FUCK 😭😭😭

too bad u aren’t in france

oscar 😊

omw to france as we speak 🙄

y/n

🐌🐌 escaping rn

WOAH WAIT

i just got 13K followers out of nowhere???

oscar 😊

huh 😭 thats crazy

y/n

oh my god

😨😨

oscar 😊

what?

y/n

i got posted on those f1 gossip pages

CAUSE OF UR LITTLE FRIEND 😭😭

oscar 😊

i’m so sorry

uhm I didn’t mean for that to happen

oh my god 😭 I’m really sorry

y/n

oh no, it’s not your fault!!

Liked by madeline_han, xienmasventura, and 6,829 others

f1_gossip NEW WAG? Y/n L/n is a 22-year-old university student. She currently lives in france, according to her posts. Lando commented and liked her post earlier today.

View all 502 comments

user is this confirmed?

→ user no lol they’re just spreading rumors

user she’s so pretty!!

user honestly 😭😭 I don’t think they are

→ user same.. like can he not just comment and like her post??

→ user RIGHT! like let him live

user god i hope not… she’s.. 🌝

→ madeline_han so mad n for what? he ain’t gonna pick u!!

user why is he always pulling the baddies

xienmasventura yourusername LMFAOOO GIRL

→ yourusername 🌝🌝 deleting my account

landonorris she’s not my girlfriend 😊 thanks for spreading rumors though!!!

→ user embarrassing for whoever posted this

→ user fr i’d b BAWLING

౨ৎ HELLLLOOOOO!!! i am back 🐨 sorry for taking FOREVER to update this series… I will try to be better once i’m on winter break 🐌!! anyways i hope you enjoy this bc i was lit up writing it until 2 AM…… 🌝🌝

taglist @d6za1 @amoosarte @moneygramhaas @alessioayla @cherry-piee @chasing-liberosis @asparklysoul @goldenalbon @benstormy @he6rtshaker @ririyulife @charli12345678 ౨ৎ

#𓇼 landitolover #౨ৎ dulce hotline #꩜ my writings #formula one #f1 #f1 fanfic #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x you #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #lando norris #lando norris x reader #f1 imagine #formula 1 x female reader #mini series #female reader #smau #dating app

471 notes · View notes

saerins · 9 months ago

Text

#001 SUDDENLY, COLORS 𖧧 NEXT: #002 PLAYING DOMINO ꒰ series masterlist ꒱

꒰ঌꨄ︎໒꒱ — sae gets more than he bargained for when he decides to entertain you. and then suddenly, maybe he isn’t so indifferent to everything after all.

content: itoshi sae x female reader. bllk guys here are all pro players now. profanity, complicated relationships, reader is a working adult, implied ex-fwb situation with otoya, minorly questionable work ethics, mention of infidelity. word count: 3.8k.

༝༚༝༚ first chapter ! (bear with me because we’re gonna be in the early stages of sae & y/n getting to know each other) i hope you guys like this one as much as infy >_< the dynamic between yn & sae here is slightly different heh :) if you’re reading this: ily <3 + will add little mini extra facts at the end of each chapter ^_^

lights flashing, red carpets, familiar faces that feel so out of reach.

there’s an entire life out here that people like you, should you have been without connections, won’t get to experience in your lifetime. it’s eye-opening, and more than you bargained for. sure, when you heard that this is a party thrown by one of the japan’s national soccer team’s sponsors, you expected a lot of a-list names, but to think it’s this many.

beautiful, handsome people litter every corner of the destination, enough to fill anyone with a year’s worth of anxieties just simply looking at them. to think, this is the kind of life they live in the regular; photographed by everyone, welcomed and greeted like royalty by staff and strangers alike.

it’s nothing you can ever get used to. luckily, you don’t have to.

you stand at the top of the stairs in the venue, looking around as you try to spot your friend. on the ground floor, you see many people huddled in different groups, smiles plastered together as they catch up with one another. all you can hear are everyone’s voice and laughters muffled together and melding into one giant mess. many movie stars, models, athletes all gathered in one place, commanding the attention of everyone in the room as well as those who are watching the livestreams from home. that’s to be expected though, considering this is a party thrown by the top sports brand in japan—surely supporters and fans alike are tuning in from all over just to see their favourite celebrities.

you bet the chat is getting blown up with comments about how the captain of the soccer team looks absolutely handsome when he cleans up, or how the up and coming setter in the volleyball team is a quiet assassin if looks could kill.

there’s a vibration in your purse, snapping you out of your thoughts, and you fish your phone out to see that it’s from eita.

you slowly make your way down the stairs, carefully so that you don’t accidentally catch your heels against the bright red fabric under you. it’s not everyday you get invited to events like this, and it’s certainly not everyday you get to wear something this nice—you don’t want to end up falling face flat in front of all these important (and famous, or infamous) people.

you make a mental note to yourself to thank eita again for getting you this dress.

as you look around the floor, trying to spot whatever private booth eita’s in, your eyes flick across the top of someone’s head. somebody that could catch anyone’s attention. those alluring eyes and that tall frame. you catch your breath.

eita can wait. maybe you should take a detour first.

as you’re drawing closer to him, you can’t help but think how much more handsome he is in person; all you’d been able to see of him thus far is whatever you saw through the screen, or in paper from the photoshoots he’d been a part of. now that you’re looking at him in the flesh, you don’t think they do him justice. not by a long shot. he’s still handsome as hell in whichever form of media he’s in, but in real life, they have nothing on his actual person.

his lips look soft and pink right there in front of you, and his lashes frame his eyes just perfectly that you’re almost envious.

in all fairness, you’re not used to talking to mega huge celebrities like him. he’s a pro-athlete, but his popularity is in the millions, his talent for being japan’s best offensive midfielder skyrocketing him to fame at the young age of eighteen.

nearly ten years later and he’s somehow still topping the lists for most popular male athletes from japan.

opportunities like this don’t come easy, especially for people like you—you’re not stupid enough to not take it. with a deep breath, you put your game face on; he doesn’t know you, he doesn’t have to know the real you, just the you that you want to show him.

somehow, he manages to make your heart beat faster than anyone else in the room, and he hasn’t even looked your way. half of you is telling yourself you’re doing this for a friend, but the other half of you is selfish, it wants to see what this is all about.

“what are you having?”

the moment you set your purse down on the bar, choosing to stand beside him instead of being a normal person and settling in front of the bartender to get his attention for your drinks, sae finds himself perplexed.

there are many reasons people would want to talk to him for. if you’re from the sponsor’s team, then you’d want to run a collaboration idea by him. if you’re another celebrity, then you’d probably be asking for a picture. if you’re press, well, your occupation is an answer in and of itself.

for the first time, sae’s eyes land on you. on that smile, on your eyes.

dim lights, violets and pinks bouncing off the disco ball, and somehow you do look pretty in spite all that. he’s never seen you before, but then again, he doesn’t pay attention enough to anything in the media for him to be able to know all the celebrities in japan. you have to be one, right? he doesn’t see the press card around your neck.

your dress hugs your body nicely. it’s all black, and a one-shoulder. your thin gold necklace holds a feather charm at the end. the way you tuck your hair carefully behind your ear unveils your matching earrings. you’re pretty, very pretty. but he thinks you’re about to be a pain soon enough. and that probably cancels it out.

“water.”

maybe if he’s boring enough, you’ll leave him alone. maybe if he’s rude enough, he’ll drive you away. that’s the whole point of why he’s here anyway, to escape those pointless conversations with these media… acquaintances, and oliver and the others were being nuisances in the booth anyway. so much so that he needed a breather.

unless you’re offering an escape, he won’t entertain anything.

“do you have a game tomorrow?” you ask, setting your phone down on the tabletop. a measly excuse for a conversation starter but he supposes it wouldn’t hurt to see where you’re going with this.

is that why you think he’s drinking water? he shakes his head, “no.”

what do you want with him?

“don’t tell me you’re a lightweight,” you guess, smirking at him.

sae can’t figure you out; where other people are easy to guess, he can’t make heads or tails about you. why hasn’t he asked you to leave him alone yet? better yet, why hasn’t his own two feet walked away like he intended to before you came and smiled at him?

“just didn’t feel like drinking,” sae tells you. (you actually guessed right, but there’s no way he’s going to admit to that out of the blue.)

you hum in contemplation, your head resting against your balled fist as you look at him, pursing your lips like you’re thinking of something. he finds himself wondering exactly that: what the fuck are you thinking?

right now, you’re a mix between being interesting and annoying and he’s kind of leaning towards the latter.

all of a sudden, you fish a coin out of your purse, grinning.

“you look like you want me to leave you alone,” you tell him, sighing, though you’re probably not so much disappointed or affected as much as being playful, like one of those children that like to test the limits of their parents. you’re perceptive at least, he’ll give you that. “how about a deal? i’ll toss this coin, and if it lands on heads, you’ll do me a favour, no questions asked. if it lands on tails, i’ll do the same. then you can tell me to go away.”

to be fair, sae could just walk away and you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

“fine.”

so why? why is he agreeing to your terms?

you flick the coin into the air with your thumb, and sae watches your face as you anticipate the results. you’re staring so intently at such an inconsequential coin that he finds it both comical and troublesome. there’s something both alluring and childish about your presence.

“aha! heads!” you shout excitedly, and sae tries to keep his head down to avoid any unwanted attention. if you cause anyone to come over and pull him aside for some small talk he’s going to kill you. you look so blissfully ignorant of that fact, though. lucky for him, almost everyone around you seems too self-absorbed to care. “looks like you owe me something.”

sae sighs. “i have the feeling i’m gonna regret this,” he mumbles to himself, though you’re blatantly beaming at him, excited at your little win. you shouldn’t be; if it’s too troublesome sae would still shoot you down. he reminds himself that he doesn’t even have to follow through with the bet—who are you to him? “what do you want?”

“i’ll tell you later,” you answer, not missing a beat, ordering a shot of vodka and having it slid over to you. you down it in a second, looking even more invigorated.

does alcohol wake you up even more?

something tells sae that he’ll get nothing out of this conversation, so the gears are already turning in his head on how to slip out of this situation, make a break for the bathroom or something. “this sounds like a hassle, so i’m just gonna leave—”

“is soccer all you care about?”

“huh?”

yeah, you’re definitely leaning more towards annoying.

as he expected, you continue speaking without even listening to him. still, that’s not the kind of topic he thought you had in mind. soccer? you don’t seem like a fanatic.

“i mean, do you do anything else outside of soccer? like play games? or, i don’t know, have some secret hobby like sewing?”

sae deadpans at that last one. what do you want to know? his secrets? he’ll definitely stick with his plan of being boring. you’ll probably give up sooner or later. “no. just soccer.”

you press your lips into a firm line, like you know he’s full of it but you don’t immediately call him out. “no hobbies outside of soccer? okay.”

“yes, i have no life.”

he nearly smirks at the horrified pout that graces your lips. your scepticism nearly makes him laugh, but he holds it in. you’re probably messing with him, but he can do just the same.

“heard that your little brother scored the winning goal at the champion’s league game, how do you feel about that?” you down another shot.

sae snorts at your obvious discontent at his disinterest, though it goes over your head because maybe you’re a little lightweight too.

“yeah, i was there. i mean, i’m proud of him if that’s what you’re looking for,” he tells you—something so generic and so bland that you can probably form the answers in your head yourself.

your line of questioning continues despite sae’s half-assed participation. maybe he’s only entertaining you because he doesn’t feel like entertaining anyone else. and maybe because he probably won’t see you again so he wouldn’t feel the need to be cautiously polite around you (and so his manager won’t nag him about keeping up an image). from what he gathers, you’re probably not a celebrity—call it his gut instinct. you sure look like one, but you don’t act like them.

there’s the incessant vibrating of his phone in his pants pocket that he ignores. meanwhile you’re accepting his lacklustre answers left and right.

“actually i’m curious, itoshi sae, who’s your best friend? some say it’s ryusei shidou and others say it’s oliver aiku. what do you say?”

he leans an elbow against the table, staring you straight in the eye. you’re looking right back at him, a smugness in those irises.

“who are you, by the way?” he asks, because despite him entertaining you for—he checks his watch—nearly half an hour, he still doesn’t even know your name. and clearly, you know all about him. or at least, what the internet can provide.

you inch closer, grinning despite the scowl on his face. “let me change the question,” you propose, because you’re always so adept at switching subjects when it benefits you, pupils scanning your immediate surroundings briefly before you lean in to whisper in his ear. “people like to say you’re hard to get, is that true?”

(because that’s what it seems like—from press coverage to girls, it doesn’t look like it’s easy to garner his interest and thus consequently his effort. if there’s one thing everyone can agree on about itoshi sae is that he screams exclusivity.)

he clenches his jaw when he feels your breath hit his ear, and he hates himself for staying this long because the moment you see his ears go red, you’re smirking.

“is there anything wrong with not wanting to waste time with people who won’t matter in a matter of days?” and that’s probably the only completely honest answer he’s given you for the night—because he doesn’t waste time on people he doesn’t see making it into his future. he can’t say that for work purposes since it’s his team who manages everything, but as far as his personal life goes, that’s all you have to know.

that’s all he’s going to give you.

from the corner of his eye, he sees a familiar face, the light in their eyes going dark when they realise you’d been taking up his time.

“heading off already?” you ask, sensing his restlessness.

“yeah, well, i gave you a lot already, so…” he trails off, just hoping you’ll get the hint and leave him be.

you nod, taking your phone off the table, fishing something else out of your purse but sae’s too preoccupied looking at someone else to notice.

and just like earlier, you inch even closer, finally commanding his attention. sae catches a whiff of your perfume, a hint of sweet mixed with a little spice. you’re so close now that all he sees is you, and for some reason, he’s not moving.

you’re so close he can count the lashes on your eyes, can tell your lipstick’s not really pink but more mauve, can see up close that ever-growing smirk of yours when you catch him off-guard. and he expects you to stop, just like you did earlier, but you’re coming even closer and for some reason he can’t help but close his eyes, long lashes briefly brushing your face before he feels it go away.

when he opens his eyes, you’re not smirking anymore. that playful smirk is gone and replaced by—he can’t really tell—bashfulness? is he hallucinating the heat that built up to your cheeks?

“thanks for wasting some time on me,” you whisper, slipping something into his jacket pocket before walking away, a wave of your fingers all that you give.

and sae’s left wondering if he really was just about to let you kiss him if you didn’t move away.

he watches as you head off in the direction of the booths, a surprise washing over his face when he sees a familiar face taking your hand at the top of the first flight of stairs. that head of white with a hint of green—you know otoya?

sae takes out the piece of paper you slipped in his pocket—a name card. your name is y/n, apparently, and you work for a magazine. he scoffs, realising the intentions behind your earlier attempt to get him to talk. behind, you’d scribbled really quickly: the favour: approve this interview please? :D

you really are… something. by the way you questioned him, and your questions by itself, you must not have done this for very long. it’s a nice attempt though. still, sae has no reason to play along.

he can’t help but wonder, though—that last question: was it for the magazine, or your personal curiosity? his eyes linger on the phone number at the bottom of your card.

“hey, who was that?”

sae turns his attention to the girl he saw earlier, now in front of him, curious eyes following you as otoya walks you to their table. he quickly slips the name card back into his pocket. “dunno, she was just asking where otoya was.”

as the girl drags him away by the hand, he looks back, catching a glimpse of you staring at him before otoya guides you to the table, his hand on the small of your back, and then you fade out of view.

maybe, just for once, he’ll play along. again. because there’s something inexplicable about you, about your existence.

“look who made it back in one piece,” oliver exclaims as sae makes his way back to their table a couple of hours later, taking a seat next to the man himself. “what did bianca want you for this time?”

shidou puts down his glass of champagne to wince at sae, a pitiful glance thrown his way. “she's kinda territorial, bro. blink if you need help.”

snickers are heard around the table, most of them knowing how exasperated sae can get sometimes, even if he never actually says anything.

“you know if you guys are dating, you can just tell us right?” karasu teases, joining in the conversation.

sae rolls his eyes, ignoring them entirely. the topic about him and bianca had gone completely stale for him. honestly, if his manager didn’t convince him that he absolutely had to attend till the end, sae would’ve left halfway. maybe he wouldn’t have attended at all if he had a choice in his own schedule. then again, if he didn’t come tonight, he wouldn’t have met you.

is that a good thing?

speaking of, there’s a lack of your presence here that just mildly disappoints him. mildly.

“where’s your friend?” sae asks otoya, who’s busy typing away at his phone.

his fingers stop, and he cocks a brow at sae’s question, more confused by the fact that sae is bothering to ask such a thing. “she had a thing so she left earlier,” he says, brushing it off. “why? did you need anything? saw her talking to you just now.”

it’s like they both can sense the sudden interest of everyone around the table.

sae shakes his head, leaning back against the chair. “nothing.”

sensing something amiss, oliver leans forward, looking the most interested he’s been all night. “oh? sae of all people asking about a girl? don’t see that often,” he mocks, and sae sighs internally, immediately regretting opening his mouth.

“gotta hand it to you, though,” karasu says, nudging otoya on the elbow. “she’s pretty.”

“isn’t she that girl you said that slapped you so hard back in high school that you cried?” yukimiya joins in, his statement making the guys burst into laughter.

otoya groans, shrinking in his seat. “shut the fuck up. she was being annoying.”

“nah, she was just keeping eita in check after she heard he cheated on his girlfriend,” karasu fills in the gaps for everyone.

sae listens quietly to them divulge bits and pieces of you that they got from otoya back when you were still there with them.

apparently, you’ve known otoya since middle school, and you’ve been friends all the way till university until you drifted apart for some reason (that otoya won’t share). sae thinks it probably has to do with that “we used to fool around” statement of his. at least, unlike any of the girls he fools around with, otoya never entertained lewd questions regarding you.

were you special to him?

“tell us more,” yukimiya taunts, fully enjoying the tinge of red he sees on otoya’s ears.

“she’s just a girl who likes to clear out my fridge all the time. annoying pest i can’t get rid of,” otoya says, though everyone knows that it’s just his sharp tongue at work. he looks like he’s close to malfunctioning, a sight that sae has never seen before, fully earning his intrigue.

thankfully for otoya, oliver shifts the attention (unfortunately) to sae. “no, what i wanna know is, how a girl like y/n managed to catch this guy’s interest,” he says, pointing to sae, a cocky grin on his face. “so spill, are you interested?”

that must mean that you and otoya have nothing going on then? not that he’s curious. and not that he would put it past oliver to suggest that he steal you from someone else.

he’s not even sure why all these thoughts are in his head in the first place. sae puts on his best poker face, raising his brows as if in silent denial. “i’m not.”

oliver’s grin mirrors that of the cheshire cat, and it’s all sae has to see to know that he’s about to suggest something that will earn a ripple in the timeline.

“otoya, phone,” oliver demands, and otoya nonchalantly slides his phone over. a quick few taps of his fingers and he finds your public profile before sliding otoya’s phone over to sae. “there, follow her then, if it’s nothing.”

despite seemingly doing this all for fun, oliver is betting on much more than that. if he gets to see what the whole big deal is, why not? on the one hand, otoya is refusing to say anything about his real feelings about you. on the other, sae is refusing as well to admit that maybe he’s a little bit charmed by you.

sure, asking sae to follow you is like sending a whole army of girls chasing after a baby with a very prized candy but oliver barely knows you, so it’s fair game where he stands. besides, he’s not forcing sae to do it. he just knows he will—sae never bothers showing interest in anything, let alone a woman. he’s not following any girls either apart from other celebrities, and that’s because they cornered him to it. if he does this, you’re the only comparatively normal girl he’ll follow. sae might not be aware of the implications and whatnot, but oliver sure does. it’ll take a while for it to show, but he’ll wait patiently.

the only reason otoya hasn’t been subjected to that same problem for following you is because his popularity doesn’t come close to sae’s. not even oliver’s comes close. neither are their fans as rabid as his.

and when sae scoffs and takes out his phone to do just what oliver expects him to, oliver’s eyes flick over to look at otoya, a certain unsettled look in his friend’s eyes. neither guys are ever straightforward with their feelings—he leans back and relaxes, waiting for a show.

whoever you are, y/n, whatever you have going on, good luck to you.

extras !

sae and bianca go way back, but so do y/n and eita! the latter more so than the former.

this is y/n’s first time ever attending an event like this in her x years of knowing eita.

sae’s group of friends consist of: oliver, otoya, shidou, karasu, yukimiya and sendou. (sendou has a conflicting schedule so he wasn’t there that night.)

taglist! @yuzurins @raphsimp @mxplesyrvp @lust4rin @saeskiss

#bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #sae x reader #itoshi sae x reader #bllk x you #bllk x y/n #sae x y/n #blue lock x you #itoshi sae #blue lock x y/n #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae x y/n #sae x you #sae fluff #bllk fluff #bllk imagines #૪ aeri’s fics !

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12-seconds-to-live · 1 year ago

Text

(Un)Lost: The art of war

Pairing: F12022/3!Grid! x Fem!Driver!Oc

Warnings: DNF’s, angst, a little bit of love, episodes of anxiety, Seb’s retirement, harsh words.

DRIVE TO SURVIVE SEASON 5 - EP. 1 THE NEW ERA

“It’s freezing in here” I said while I was puting my cap in my head, my Williams cap, ready to sit in the famous black chair of Netflix. “Thank you Netflix for make this possible, Bahrain is being cooking itself now” The producer chuckle.

“So, we’re going to let you introduce you and then make you a few questions. Everything clear?”

“Sure” I look for a better position in the chair and look to the camera “My name is Charlotte Robyn-Jones and I’m engineer strategist for Williams Racing Formula One Team” I said with a smile on my face. I saw the people in the back laugh and I copy the action

“You can’t lie to Netflix, kid”

“I think I just did ... Anyway, 1, 2, 3, Monday to Friday, My name is Charlotte Robyn-Jones, I’m 23 and I’m a race driver for Williams Racing Formula One Team” I tilt my head to one side and laugh “Cool”

“So cool. What’s for you to be at the top of the game right now?, obviously avoiding the question that you must be bored about”

“Being a woman is fantastic, except for that thing every month but I can’t complain. I have to say that it’s not easy. You can dream of some things happening but all the same time, If you really wanted, the answer is get up and look for your better options to make things happen.” I gassped and look down and to the camera. “I remenber when I told my dad that I wanted to give it a try in karting and I wasn’t even 6, he looked at me like I was some sort of silly muppet but then he make me promise that I will do great in school and then he will help me with the racing carreer I wanted. The rest is history”

A series of videos of her carreer show up, from her beginning in karts, F4, F3 and her successfull 2021 in F2 finishing as champion, smiling faces all around and obviously a very proud Charlotte.

“You just mention your dad. What about other members in your family? Friends or even a boyfriend?” I look at the producer with a side smile

“You guys are really something else, right?” they laugh “I’m single ready to mingle. I don’t talk to much about my family, I like to be private about that. I almost dropped all this. My family is my priority and two years ago I lost my mom due cancer so...”

“I’m sorry we don’t...”

“No, it’s okay” I smiled to the camera “She’s not here but I still talk about her like she’s just in the back of the house screaming to the dog for being so silly, she’s still here and I know she’s proud”

“Sure she is. Just to finish ... Any expectations for your team. Everybody wanted to see you in a bigger team like Mercedes or Ferrari, did you hear any rumors about that?”

“Well, certanly I did hear, but the thing is, mmm, I always believe that If you wanna prove yourself is better to start from the very bottom, understand the little things and then you’ll find success, almost glory. Being in this sport is so tricky, like, one day you won in Monaco and the next day you’re out of the points or feeling that all your pasion is going out to your body” I see everybody’s faces like I was saying something fascinating “This is sport is like war, you better watch out your back ‘cause even your own team could kill you.”

“So, this is your year to discover yourself?”

“Yes, my bingo card this year will imply me being playing the art of war that is F1″

“Okay Charlotte, this is all for today. We’ll see you along the year”

“Thanks and don’t spill my secrets. Snitches end up in ditches, they say”

I go out of the room straight to the Williams garage. Sure thing is that this year is going to be wild, after what happened last year between Red Bull and Mercedes, man, I really don’t want to be any member of those teams.

“Hello Ms. Jones, everything all right with Netflix?” My PR, Ava asked. She was in Alex side of the garage talking to other people

“Yeah, they’re like school girls” She laugh

“Yeah, sometimes. Today is media day so since you’re ready with your Williams merch, we can start signing some caps and cards and then continue with your schedule. Or do you want to start with press?”

“Up to you really, better doing the easiest first then I’ll face the sharks” We walk to a conference room when I found Alex with his girlfriend and his PR. Last year I met the girl in a tournament in the UK and we have been really close since then.

“Oh hello you, my girl and my boy rocking together this year” Lily said and hug me, while Alex put a false angry face

“Nice to see you Lily and yes, we’re going to rock or better than that” I said she smack Alex shoulder

“See, I tould you she has spirit!”

“I know, I think that everybody saw that video of her running along the track after her win in last year championship”

That video.

Well, you don’t win F2 championship many times in your life, right?

“I don’t know what are you talking about”

“Everybody know you do”

“Shh” I sit next to the pile of merch with my face on it. It’s 9:45 so I have time ‘till lunch and more interviews.

INTERVIEW ROOM @14:20

W/ Lando Norris, Carlos Sainz, Lewis Hamilton and Sebastian Vettel

“Don’t be nervous, ok? I’m not gonna tell what to answer, you’re smart so answer like a pro”

“Like a pro? So I can say <<inchident>> or even ask about the interviewers plans for the summer?” I showed Ava a side smiled

“Please don’t and you’re going to be in between, your name is on the sofa” I enter the room and saw the amount of people organized in the back of the room with notepads, cameras and tricky looks.

“So, welcome everybody to the second session here in Bahrain, we are here with Lando Norris from McLaren, Carlos Sainz from Ferrari, Charlotte Jones from Williams, Lewis Hamilton from Mercedes and Sebastian Vettel from Aston Martin. Welcome to the drivers, we’re going to have a round of questions for this sesion, if that’s ok” I look at the others who nod.

“Hello, this question is for Charlotte” Great. “We want to hear your first impresions of your new team, if you have the chance to meet the other drivers and expectations for your rookie season”

I tried to smiled but I suddenly felt like I wanna dissapear and the lights we’re too bright so I put on my glasses and I hear Lewis laugh and how he copy my action and take the microphone “It’s sunny outside so there’s no need to put the light to bright, thanks guys” And squeezed my hand.

“Yeah, lights, mmm, almost everybody saw me in the car last year when I met the team and my teammate. Everything has been great so far, mmm I spent half of the holidays with the Sainz family, there been close to my mom’s family so, yeah, Carlos and his trainer just help me to get in better shape for this rodeo, something that I’m grateful for” I fist bump with Carlos and laugh “And expectations, well, I prefer to see how it goes after the race, I sent my ideas and questions the past month so I know now that the car is fast and let’s see If we can put Williams on the top again”

Sebastian took the microphone and look at me “Do you know about engineering?”

“Yeah, I finished my degree in mechanical engineering last month, obviously online, so...”

“That’s impresive, kid” answer Sebastian

“Am I the only one scared now?” Ask Lando to everybody. Everybody laugh at that. The interview session went smoothly and not many questions were to me, since Lewis was in the room, the events of november where reminded. Questions about strategies and upgrades for Ferrari and Aston Martin and the chances of McLaren of getting a podium this year. After that, the session ended, Carlos stopped me.

“Welcome officially, girasol” He hug me in the process and we heard a cough

“Are you good, man?”

“Since my friend here it’s so disrespectfull, nice to meet you, yo soy Lago”

“Nunca le enseñaste bien español” I said laughing to the spaniard

“Ciertamente él fue un terrible alumno”

“Please don’t. Back to a common language” I smiled to him and oh boy! such beautiful eyes

“Charlotte, rookie, friend of this guy, fan of dogs, chocolate cake and be on my xbox the whole day” I shake his hand and he gasp

“Marry me”

“In a few years, maybe” I look to Carlos who look at me with wide eyes

“I don’t want him on family holidays, ten moths are too much now” As we were walking through the paddock, a few photographers and fans aproach us. Since Carlando were more famous that I am, so I go straight to my motorhome to lay down for a bit.

What a day.

A few headers on instagram and twitter about the conference

2022 ROOKIE READY TO DRIVE AND BEING A THREAT

CHARLOTTE ROBYN-JONES, NEW SENSATION IN THE PADDOCK

IS THIS THE YEAR OF WILLIAMS?

Mind clear and then start proving myself.

I’m a girl, yes, but right now I feel that I have a chance to be like them, it’s ny time.

A champion, one ready to fight.

I finished my day with more media duties, to 6 pm I was going to wait for Carlos who offer a ride to the hotel. While I was waiting in the parking lot, the papaya pair waved at me.

“Hiya, you must me Charlotte. I’m Daniel, the one with good looks in the team” He said with a smile.

“Nice to meet you Daniel, how you guys doin’?”

“All good, we’re heading to the hotel, ready to kick asses tomorrow?” I saw how Lando seems certanly interested in the question

“I’m feeling normal, but yeah, let’s see tomorrow. My driver arrived so... see ya” I waved at them when Carlos opened his car. Daniel and Lando saw the couple leaving the parking lot when the australian looks at the youngest

“Say it”

“What?”

“Why do you look so shock around her? I mean, even Max who lives in a rock knew about her”

“I’ve been friends of Carlos and I never see her around, it’s weird”

“Ooow, the kid is jealous of the newie” Daniel started laughing and going to his car

“Man stop... I’m not jealous and also I’m a man!”

BAHREIN CIRCUIT @13:45 - FP1 & FP2

“Radio check, please” my race engineer said. Williams had the chance to start fourth in the two practices after Alfa Romeo, Ferrari, Red Bull and Alpine.

“ And I thought my heart was detached, from all the sunlight of our past, but she's so sweet, she's so pretty, does she mean you forgot about me? Yeah, yes, I’m going to send you my playlist for the race, what dou you think?”

“We’ll evaluate that after practice”

“It’s not a no, I wil take it”

“Ok Charlotte, 30 seconds to start heating the tyres and whenever you ready, your flying lap”

“Copy”

“Now, we’ll have Williams coming out the pits to start practice, first our rookie Charlotte, fresh out the oven as F2 champion. She’s heating the tyres and has 15 minutes to do a few laps and see how that car goes”

On the broadcast, the faces of the team principals were on screen, with their expectations on the girl and see how she start.

“Ok Charlotte, you can start in the next lap with Leclerc and Ocon in front of you” I pressed the copy bottom. Here I go.

One thing about me it’s that I brake late but my left foot likes to keep itself on the throttle. A girl have to give it all, right?

“I feel like I’m watching the Mercedes W11 all over again. Wow! I can see a future world champion, multiple times If she wanted too”

“That car is fast” said Christian Horner looking to Max’s engineer “What the hell?”

“Definitely it is”

“Toto, even when she brake the car doesn’t go below 170 km/h. what?” Lewis and Bono stand beside the team principal of Mercedes.

“I think that your eight championship have to wait a bit, I can’t believe my eyes”

“That girl is the real Toretto, don´t you think?” asked Yuki to the french man

“I wanna throw myself down a hill to be honest”

“What the f***?, which car is that?, I almost get dizzy” asked Charles over the radio

“That was a Williams, the rookie, she’s 3 seconds faster than you”

“This is going to be a long season. F***”

“Well done Charlotte. With his pace you can certanly win every race this season”

“Haha, good job to everybody from those in the factory to the ones in the garage. What about Alex?”

“As good as you, the difference is 0.337″

“That’s good”

“Yes, we’ll wait for you in the garage”

As I parked, I could heard the applauses from my team and the people around the garage.

And yes.

A very long season ahead.

intro

That was fun.

For those who doesn’t speak spanish, here the translation:

Girasol: sunflower.

Nunca le enseñaste bien español: you never taught him Spanish well.

Ciertamente él fue un terrible alumno: He certainly was a terrible student.

Hope you liked it :)

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bleachbleachbleach · 7 days ago

Text

Joe Shinigami Job Market

Last month I read an article about tennis rankings that--as would surely be true of most people who read it--made me think about the Gotei:

The greats in tennis often become known by their first names – Roger, Rafa, Serena – but the rest of us are known by a number, our world ranking. To a greater extent than in any other sport, world ranking determines who you play, where you play and how much money you make. Tennis players have a deep and lasting relationship with their highest ranking. (Mine was 129.) [x]

You have your famous, Captain- and VC-ranked shinigami, whose names you're more likely to know than not; and maybe some of the higher-seated officers are named entities, too, if you're really up on your Gotei trivia. And then after that you have your Joe Shinigami. People within the same division might have a decent sense of who those officers are in seats 3-20, but beyond that you're probably relatively anonymous. All the same, there's probably a whole complicated hierarchy that only the people embroiled in the same vicinity of it as you are have any clear sense of that Captains and probably VCs, too, cannot make heads nor tails of, even if they tried (and only some do). These finer hierarchies are probably related to that reiatsu ranking element that comes up like twice re: Kaien and then in the Hell Chapter, but we're never told how that works so let's leave that for now.

The tennis article goes on to discuss what it means to be the "best of the rest," where in comparison to the world population, you are insanely, insanely talented!! But because of the size of the stage, you're no one. And this is a really compelling space for me, in terms of contemplating how a lot of Joe Shinigami live in the world, and how it feels to be them, because the gap between Captains and unseated shinigami is stupid huge, insurmountable, and because the tasks at hand are so often Captain-levle and not, in fact, Joe Shinigami-level, even extremely talented Joe Shinigami level:

The true unfortunates, though, were the ones who were talented enough to rationally hope to advance. These were people who grew up as the best tennis players in their country, but were stuck between 300 and 600 in the world, not quite contending for the Challenger Tour nor the qualifiers at grand slams, but winning just often enough to keep their tennis dream faintly alive. [x]

Like, these are the seated or the not quite seated. The ones who might get good enough at zanjutsu or kidou to distinguish themselves, or maybe even have a shot at shikai. That upper echelon being highly-seated is completely out of the question, realistically, like "no matter how hard you flap you cannot fly" out of the question, but you're pretty good. You're good enough it makes sense to strive for a seat, or for shikai. Even as you're just utterly useless in the scheme of all these bankai people, or in a war where, frankly, all those bankai people are themselves getting mowed down without too much fuss. It's a hard place to be!

The "true unfortunates" being described are probably all the elite, highly-talented shinigami we're introduced to as being fairly useless. The Shinos and Ryuunosukes and Kurumadanis and that-one-guy-who-gave-us-outsider-narrative-before-Mayuri-blew-him-up of the world. Even the Iemuras, and that guy's actually very highly-ranked.

I just really like the duality of all these guys coming across as hapless and a little pathetic, and I think that's probably real; but at the same time they have been trained. They had to make it through the Academy and get selected into a division. I think that speaks to that massive divide in perspective/experience between the people at the top and the rest of everyone. Like, what do you really want to look for when hiring Joe Shinigami? Aptitude for shikai is probably, honestly, an unreasonable benchmark. Plus there's a good chance they're going to die whether they're Very Good or Pretty Good, because everyone's in that band of "probably in over their heads with this," even when there's not a TYBW going on, because it kind of seems like shinigami were getting eaten left and right by regular Hollows in Karakura, too.

And what are they getting paid for that honor? 2 million kan a year? That's about 700,000 kan above minimum wage in yen in 2001 (or, let's say as a very rough estimate, 7000 USD). I've seen Reddit people say is not that much money; and that's true, but it's also about what a well-paid grad student would be making (that is, the ones who are being paid at all). Most grad students are probably not at risk of death every day of their sad little jobs, but to my mind that seems like a reasonable point of reference for what kind of training and what sort of expectation one might have of a Joe Shinigami.

If you, too, would like to read an article about Joe Shinigami, I recommend that article, which is about Joe Shinigami, not competitive tennis!

Which brings me to the other side of the equation, and the Division job ads in the SC issue of Colorful Bleach, which I love dearly. In these ads, each division's captain and VC share qualities that a successful candidate would have, as well as pertinent information about their division. Except that everyone's answers have almost nothing to do with actual job qualifications (Sasakibe wants someone who can grow plants) and reflect very little thought about who they want. It goes back to what I said earlier: If they meet the base requirement of having graduated the Academy, they're probably gonna get in somewhere, unless they are truly Too Weird for the Gotei and the Vibes are Bad (see: vindictive not-shinigami in Bleach filler arcs).

Hitsugaya's is my favorite (from the unbiased and objective perspective I always strive for in fandom) because they are the LOWEST EFFORT OF THEM ALL aside from Soi Fon's (Soi Fon refuses to respond to almost all of the questions).

I mentioned in an earlier post that the soundbites read like the SC journalist was running after people who were preoccupied with something else, and said journalist just transcribed whatever nothing answer fell out of their mouths, and that's on display well here, because the answers are in very casual spoken vernacular. Bro did not spare a single thought for this exercise:

[Colorful Bleach]

[Desired personnel?] Guys who work hard.

[How is the division's atmosphere?] Good, wouldn't you say?

[Application requirements?] Nothing in particular.

[Any words for the prospectives?] Anyone who's interested can come whenever.

Which, like, yeah, if that's what your job ad says, then of course you're going to get hapless, somewhat pathetic Joe Shinigami! You've brought this on yourself!

But this also feels kind of legit to me, because even pre-TYBW and everyone dying, you're trying to fill seats and stay staffed to fulfill whatever slate of duties you drew from the pile of things the Gotei doesn't quite have the numbers to manage. And I think it speaks to an important part of the perspective here, which I think is partly not putting effort into answering the question; partly an issue of scale/demand outstripping supply; and partly struggling to really be able to (or care to) gauge the difference between 670th-ranked shinigami recruit and 863rd-ranked shinigami recruit. From your POV (the POV of outlier class) all Joe Shinigami are kind of the same, practically speaking; that is, everyone is statistically toeing the same baseline. For this purpose, what separates a good recruit from a bad one isn't really about existing qualifications, but the ability to be trained into whatever protocols your division operates by, and going from there. So yeah, be willing to work hard, in this case, and whatever will be will be!

#shinigamiology #bleach headcanons #hitsugaya toushirou #colorful bleach #no brain just bleach

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lucy90712 · 1 year ago

Text

Pedri- Just another day at work

A/n: this is based on when Pedri met Joan Mir the motogp rider, if you don't know who/what that is you can ask me anything as I love the sport

wc: 2700+

Being entirely responsible for the social media of a motogp team is a lot as it is let alone when they add an extra event to the schedule but that's exactly what they have gone and done. In the midst of pre season testing the team have had to fly to Barcelona for some special event with Joan and a guest who I haven't been told about. Since finding out about this extra media day I haven't been too happy as it just involves a whole load more work for me and sometimes the people they bring can be extremely rude which I have learnt from experience. Safe to say these things aren't my favourite but I have to go and I will put on a smile the whole time.

Arriving at the circuit felt really weird as it was so quiet it was almost creepy as usually the paddock is full of people running around at all times but today it was pretty much deserted. When I made it to the garage we were using there was only a few people there but they were all waiting as the person we were filming with was yet to arrive. Despite me asking many times still no one would tell me who it was and none of the other crew knew either so we all sat and speculated who it could be based on the fact that we were in Barcelona. Many names were thrown around but most of them were footballers as of course the Barcelona football club is a big deal. Half of the people the crew suggested I'd never heard of and the ones I had I didn't think it would be as they are too famous to be here for the day.

After a while of speculating there was a bit of commotion out the back of the garage so all of us stood up and finally a few people walked in. To start with I had no idea who the guy was as I hadn't seen him before but one of the crew quickly told me he was an up and coming Barcelona player named Pedri. That didn't really bother me but what did was the fact that I thought he was so attractive I'm not sure exactly what it was about him but instantly my brain was flooded with thoughts about how attractive he was. Those thoughts had to be pushed to the back of my mind pretty quickly though as he came round to introduce himself to everyone which was very nice of him as usual the people who come don't do that. When he got to me I expected him to just shake my hand like he did with everyone else put he pulled me into a hug which made me blush but I think I managed to hide it pretty well.

Once everyone had introduced themselves we went through the schedule for the day and then got to work. The first thing we were going to do was film videos so I went to set up all the cameras and everything on the track which didn't take me too long as I got the cameras ready while waiting earlier. Barcelona wanted to do a 7 second challenge so we filmed that and I just got to sit and watch as the guys both had cards with the challenges on them so I didn't have to be doing anything other than making sure the cameras were working. The hardest part was trying not to laugh as the both of them were absolutely useless at the game but I managed to keep it together but my cheeks started to hurt from smiling so much by the end.

When we were done with filming we had a load of other things to do so I grabbed my other two cameras so that I could take pictures and film little bits to put together at a later date. First Joan got his leathers on and did a few laps around the track so I filmed him and Pedri but mostly Pedri because well I can and because his reactions seemed like a better thing to film. We did some more content with the normal bike before getting the motogp bike out of the garage. Pedri put on some of Joan's leathers and they played football together which I took pictures of although I was a little scared for getting hit by the ball. It was fun watching them mess around and I got a lot of good pictures of the both of them and Pedri which I'm excited to edit later.

Just when I thought we were done I was told I needed to go to the ranch where Joan trains on the dirt track to take more pictures. That was a problem because I don't live in Barcelona so have a hotel room near the track and walked here this morning so I have no way of getting to the ranch. Seeing as its just a dirt track none of the engineers needed to go so it was just me that needed to figure out a way there. While walking out of the paddock I was trying to phone a taxi but none of them wanted to come to the circuit so I was stuck having to walk so then I started looking at maps to find out where I needed to go. It was going to take me a while but it was my only option if I wanted to get there at all. Just as I was leaving I was stopped by a tap on my shoulder which made me turn around to see Pedri.

"Hey I overheard you on the phone earlier do you want to ride with me to the ranch?" He asked

"Oh um if thats alright then yeah that would be great" I replied getting nervous all of the sudden

"It's no problem" he said

I thanked him and we went over to his car which was a little green mini which wasn't what I was expecting as I thought he'd own some big expensive sports car but no he just had a regular car. He opened the passenger door for me which again took me by surprise but I thanked him anyway and got in the car. While he was driving we got to talking and I learnt a bit about his journey to play at Barcelona but also about him as a person and he asked about my life so I told him a bit about myself. Even once we arrived we just kept talking and laughing with each other which was so nice especially as I was nervous about him being rude but he's the complete opposite in real life.

We kept talking to each other until everyone arrived and was ready which is when I had to go back to work so I got my cameras and started taking pictures of Pedri watching Joan out on the dirt track. At some point I felt that I got enough pictures so I put my cameras away and just stood with Pedri to watch what was going on. He was asking me all sorts of questions about motogp and what Joan was doing even though I really don't know too much as I just do media during the season so don't know anything about the training process. It was fun to talk about my job though as I truly do love it and the sport so it was great getting to share that with someone.

The two of us watched for ages until it started to get cold as the wind began to get up which is when I regretted not bringing a jacket out with me but it was too late now. Once I got cold I couldn't think of much else which Pedri must have noticed as he took off his jacket and put it around my shoulders. I tried to refuse it and give his jacket back but he insisted as he didn't want to me to get cold. As he put the jacket back on my shoulders his hand grazed my skin which instantly sent shivers down my spine and made goosebumps appear all over my skin. The feelings I have for him and the amount that just a simple touch from him affects me is really bad because we were only supposed to work together for one day but now I want to see more of him. The worst part about it is that there is absolutely no way he would ever think the same way about me I mean he could have any girl he wanted being that attractive and a successful footballer so there's no way he would want me.

Pedri and I stayed for a bit longer before he offered to drive me back to my hotel which I accepted as it saved walking and it was a way to spend more time with him. Walking back there was a lot more people around the ranch as we weren't using it to film anymore so there was other people there to train. I'm used to the busy paddock during a race weekend but this was different every few seconds you had to watch out for a bike or a person which meant having to weave through the crowds. I kept losing Pedri when groups walked across my path so when I found him again he grabbed hold of my hand and led me through the crowd until we got to the car park. Even once out of the crowd he kept hold of my hand as we just walked next to each other he only let go once we got to his car as he used it to opened the door for me again.

The drive was pretty quiet as we just listened to music we listened to some of his favourite songs and some of mine to compare music tastes. His taste was different from mine but all of the songs he played I would definitely listen to again and who knows he may he's converted my tastes. When we made it back to my hotel I gave him his jacket back and then just stood in front of him staring. I didn't want him to leave but I couldn't think of anything to say that could get him to stay that didn't sound weird or like I was being desperate which I definitely don't want. He didn't say anything either and I could tell he was thinking but I couldn't tell what it was about. I didn't have much longer to contemplate it though as he broke the silence.

"Would you mind if I look at the pictures you took today?" He asked

"Of course not if you're ok with it you can come to my room and check them out" I said trying to act like I wasn't freaking out inside

He followed me up to my room and just stood next to the bed while I sat down and got my laptop out to transfer the pictures across. To try and make things less awkward I patted the bed next to me and he finally sat down and started to lean across to see the pictures on my screen. Like any photoshoot some of the pictures didn't come out great but he complimented every single one of them anyway. He was so interested that I decided to show him a few of the things I will do to edit the pictures but not everything as that would take too long but he was still so mesmerised at what I was doing. After doing a few I gave him the laptop and showed him how to do it and sure it didn't turn out perfect but I will definitely be keeping that picture for a long time. Once I had showed him how to edit and showed him a few that I'd done previously but that hadn't been posted yet I put my laptop down and just sat next to Pedri.

"Do you have any plans for this evening?" Pedri asked

"No other than maybe some editing" I replied

"Then would you like to go get some food with me of course you don't have to if you don't feel comfortable I get that" he started to ramble

"I'd love to just let me get changed first" I interrupted him

I got up and grabbed some other clothes from my little suitcase although I don't really have anything nice to wear as I mostly packed comfy clothes because when I didn't have work clothes on I thought I'd be traveling. Internally I was cursing my past self for not thinking that I might want to go out somewhere but then I realised that never in a million years would I have thought that I'd be in this exact situation. Somehow I managed to find something that wasn't too bad and luckily I had brought some makeup so I put some on quickly which definitely helped me not look as awful. When I was ready I left the bathroom and Pedri was waiting for me by the door so I grabbed my bag and we headed out together.

He drove us to a restaurant I'd never heard of before but that's no surprise as I don't spend much time in Barcelona but when we got inside I found another reason I had never heard of it and thats because it was incredibly fancy. Right away I felt out of place in there especially when people looked at me as we walked to our table but I tried to ignore it as I wanted to enjoy my time with Pedri. Once we sat down and got to talking I forgot all about how uncomfortable I was as Pedri had all of my attention to the point that I barely even noticed the waiter coming to give us our food. We ate and talked for a bit longer before he got the bill and I tried to pay at least half but he insisted that he pay as he invited me out so I didn't fight it too much as I knew he wouldn't give in.

Getting back to the hotel again I knew we would have to say goodbye to each other this time as it was getting dark and he had his life to get back to and I have a flight early in the morning. I really didn't want him to leave as I've loved spending time with him and as much as I don't want it to be this way I know we won't get to spend time together like this again. The both of us were just looking at each other stood in the doorway of my hotel room which probably looked strange to anyone walking by but to me it was a nice moment.

"I've loved today thank you for helping me out earlier and paying for dinner" I said breaking the silence

"Its all good I've just loved spending time with such a beautiful girl" he said complimenting me for the first time

"I'm flattered that you think I'm pretty in probably the worst clothes I own" I joked

"I'm being serious you looked gorgeous all day today from the second I saw you I knew I wanted to get to know you thats why I'm still here" he admitted

"I know you don't live here and we won't see each other often but I can't not see you again so can I have you number and maybe arrange a proper date?" He asked

"Of course I'd love that" I replied with the biggest smile on my face

We swapped phones and put our numbers in before finding a few days that the both of us aren't as busy and agreed to see each other again but until then he promised to FaceTime me at least a few times a week which I'm more than happy with. After arranging everything he pressed a kiss to my cheek before leaving to go home which left me stood in my hotel room wondering how all of this just happened and how my life could get any better.

#pedri imagine #pedri imagines #pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri gonzalez imagines #pedri oneshot #pedri oneshots #pedri #pedri x reader #football imagine

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puckgoss · 8 months ago

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can you do a timeline of kelsey and Jamie pls😭😭 im new

Here it is y'all - the Jamie & Kelsey timeline 🤠

All of this info comes from IG, Kelsey & Brynn's podcast (out of line), Brynn's TikTok, Flyers beat reporters, Twitter, Tumblr, and the NHL website.

If I've missed anything or need to make any corrections lmk!

April 30, 2023

Trevor & Jamie attend Stagecoach music festival in CA and meet Kelsey & Brynn on Day 3 (April 30)

Trevor went up to Kelsey, he tapped her on the shoulder and asked her her name. They introduced themselves to each other. He asks "who's your friend" about Brynn and then introduces them to Jamie, introducing him as "his roommate".

In the podcast, Kelsey describes Jamie and Trevor as "absolutely hammered"

Trevor & Jamie tell them they're from California, that they were in college but dropped out to play hockey. They told them they're hockey players but at the time Kelsey & Brynn (who don't watch sports/hockey) didn't know that they meant professional hockey players for an NHL team.

They hang with them for a while (pics below) then as the girls are leaving T & J try to convince them to stay but they don't. At some point Brynn & Trevor exchange numbers - she has his number in her phone, presumably he texted himself from her phone in an effort to get the girls to meet up with them later on at SC. They don't end up meeting up again.

May-July 2023

A while later (after SC), Brynn is scrolling on TikTok and sees an edit of Trevor. She recognizes him.

She looks through her messages and pictures and finds them on IG and realizes that the two guys they met at SC are famous athletes.

They all follow each other on IG. Brynn, Kelsey, and Jamie are all still mutuals but Trevor unfollowed the girls pretty quickly.

Jamie likes Kelsey's IG post may 27, 2023

Jamie likes Kelsey's IG post july 2, 2023

August 2023

Brynn & Kelsey talk about JD & TZ on their podcast.

Kelsey says "we need to do anything and everything that we can to manifest seeing them again because the last time we saw them was like the worst way to end it"

Brynn says that Kelsey has been in contact with JD and that they're probably going on a date.

Kelsey says that she isn't sure and doesn't know "how much you can trust a guy like that"

Brynn insists she is going to make this date happen for Kelsey. Kelsey says she should probably focus on boys that live closer to her in AZ.

Also around this time, Brynn posts multiple TikToks referencing TZ and the fact that she fumbled the bag.

Jamie likes Kelsey's IG post august 19, 2023

September 2023

On the podcast, Kelsey talks about how she's been going on dates with boys (not JD) all summer but considers herself to be single.

Jamie likes Kelsey's IG post sept 15, 2023

October 2023

Kelsey posts a pic of her in Newport, CA on Oct. 14. She went on a trip there with friends.

Jamie likes Kelsey's IG post oct 14, 2023 (road trip to socal)

Ducks play in Vegas on Oct. 14 and were home prior to that. They then play a home game on the 15th (Jamie played in this game)

January 2024

Jan 7 - Jamie likes Kelsey's IG post jan 7, 2024

Jan 8 - Jamie is traded to the Flyers

Jan 29 - Jamie goes to Cancun w his new teammates including Tyson & his gf Katie, Noah & Carlie, Owen & Taylor, Cam Y, Joel F, Morgan F, Egor Z, and Ryan P

Jan 29- Jamie likes Kelsey's post on IG jan 29, 2024

Jan 30 - Katie follows Kelsey on IG

Throughout the Mexico trip, Kelsey is posting pics from her life/job as a dance instructor in AZ. She was not on the trip with them.

Jamie is going nuts on IG following lots of ig/raya baddies

February 5-6, 2024

Flyers play in Florida on the 6th

Jamie follows a new girl on IG, she goes to the University of Florida

Her and Jamie seem to have a few mutuals on IG (friends of his from home)

He likes her posts from january 15, 2024, january 21, 2024

He has since liked more of her posts but those are not relevant to this timeline (he likes multiple girls posts multiple times a day)

February 8, 2024

Brynn posts a vid dropping Kelsey off at the airport saying "get that dick bitch"

Kelsey posts a pic of herself & Katie at the Flyers game vs. Winnipeg. Katie reposts it on her story.

February 9, 2024

Flyers reporters report that Jamie told them his bed frame was coming in on Feb 9 (hopefully)

Prior to this he was staying with Cam Y. He got his own place and his parents helped him move his stuff over from Anaheim but he did not have a bedframe and was sleeping on his mattress on the floor.

February 10, 2024

Kelsey posts a pic of herself, Katie (Tyson), Carlie (Noah), Olivia (S. Ersson), and Taylor (Owen) at the Flyers game vs. Seattle to her story.

None of the other girls repost the story. Katie is still the only one who follows her.

February 11, 2024

Pictures of Jamie's active Raya profile are posted on Twitter

February 14, 2024

Valentine's Day - nothing relevant posted on IG

Jamie isn't at practice - "maintenance day"

Brynn is in NYC for some modelling/influencer "Fashion Week" thing

Unclear if Kelsey went to join Brynn, if she was still in Philly, or if she had already gone home.

Feb 11-14 are unaccounted for.

February 15, 2024

Kelsey posts a photo dump with the first pic being of her making a kissy face and the caption was something like ‘kisses’ or ‘kiss kiss’. She deleted/archived it a day or two later.

Jamie is active on Raya in Toronto. Flyers had a game vs. the Leafs that night (in Toronto).

February 16-17, 2024

Flyers are at MetLife stadium to practice for the Stadium Series game vs. NJ on the 17th.

Kelsey is not spotted or pictured at the practice, the family skate, or the game itself.

February 18, 2024 - Onwards

Kelsey allegedly likes this reel on IG shortly after arriving home from Philly. Not sure on which day exactly.

March 2, 2024

Katie likes Kelsey's post on IG march 2, 2024

March 3, 2024

Jamie's updated Raya profile is posted to hockeytea

The post has since been deleted (as the blog is deleted) but I have all pics of his profile at this link here

March 4, 2024 - Present

Jamie continues to follow lots of new girls on IG and like lots of posts, as he has done this entire time.

Nothing new has come up with Kelsey. He has not interacted with a single one of her posts or been linked to her in any way since February 10.

#j. drysdale #k. millar

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realmeganamram · 1 year ago

Text

NEPO BABY

Hey, guys! There’s been a lot of discussion going on lately and I just wanted to clear the air. I totally understand that people think I got my job because of my dad, but I definitely would have still been the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ even if my dad wasn’t God. Everyone says I would have been the Son of God even if I weren’t the son of God.

Just because my dad is famous, it doesn’t mean I don’t have merits of my own. I am a very good listener, and nice, and I have a bag that has seven million fish in it. I’m pretty embarrassed by D-d—I don’t even really like telling people my last name. When people find out that my last name is Of Nazareth, it just shuts down any conversation. How do they know it’s the same Of Nazareth? What if my dad was, like, Bill Of Nazareth, just, like, a guy with a truck and a snake? Not everyone in my family is famous. What about my mom? She’s a prude and a nobody! Her last name, Mary, isn’t well known at all! Her last name is Mary and her first name is Virgin.

You have no idea—it actually really sucks to have a famous parent. No one believes that I healed those lepers on my own. But now we’ll never know if I could have cured leprosy without the leg up my dad gave me, which is that I am magic and have the gorgeous hair of a horse you hope breeds with all the other horses. Sure, I got all this myrrh as a kid, but that myrrh lasts you only so long. And then you have to work for your own myrrh. And I worked for every inch of myrrh I ever got. Every cubic centimetre of myrrh. Every cup of it. What is myrrh?

I toiled really hard to get where I am. I went to four years of carpenter school. And, no, I don’t have student loans, because, yes, my dad invented wood, but it was still hard. I have hammered my thumbs so many times. One time, I even drove a nail all the way through my hand. It hurt so bad, and I was, like, I hope that never happens again, but then it did! I totally acknowledge my privilege, but let’s not act like other people don’t have privilege, too. I can turn water into wine, but my buddy Eric can turn water into piss. Why aren’t people obsessed with Eric’s dad?

I started from the bottom—I was born and immediately put in a manger. You’d imagine that soft hay would be in there, but no. Do you know what was in there? Four scorpions. Worse than a normal bed. I don’t even technically have my own birthday! I share it with Santa, which is antisemitic.

I’m a really good sport about things. Every time I walk into a Catholic church, there’s a good chance I’ll see myself on the Cross, being crucified. Obsessed with me much? And everyone is obsessed with drinking my blood and eating my body. It makes me feel faint. We have to talk about something else before I fall off this horse. And, before you comment about my having a fancy horse, just know that a lot of people’s dads make them horses for their sixteenth birthday.

I don’t want anyone to feel too sorry for me, but the nepo-baby thing makes me really insecure. People are just so ready to tear you down and say, “You don’t even deserve to have a really popular book about you.” I struggled with impostor syndrome for so long, but then I was able to cure it, because I can cure any disease, because I am magic, because of my dad.

All I can hope for is that, by keeping my head down and just doing the work, my legacy will finally be separate from D-d’s. At the end of my career as the Lamb of God, no one is going to think about my dad. They’ll just be, like, That’s some guy who is a really hard worker and always has, like, a hundred loaves of bread with him for some reason.

Ultimately, it boils down to talent. And I will rest easy knowing that the haters are just jealous. But I will love them anyway. Because I am the most humble person of all time.

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orion-my-rion · 11 months ago

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oh please gay middle aged men….

ok i wanted to answer this as soon as i got it but it was past midnight for me and i had to go to sleep lol. anyway i'm awake now so It's Time. (i wrote so much more than i thought i would. i've been typing for like an hour...)

so it all started when i had to write a 10 minute play for a creative writing project last year. we did some brainstorming exercises to make sure everyone in the class had something compelling to write for, and one of those exercises involved selecting common tropes in famous plays at random. so we had to pick three slips of paper from the box and come up with a story that ties in the three tropes we ended up with. the professor was a little concerned when i pulled "nationalism," "fate vs free will," and . a third thing i can't for the life of me remember. it honestly might have been like "nature vs man" lol i don't know. anyway, everyone was surprised when i actually came up with something.

the original story goes like this: three average american dudes living average american lives. they don't follow soccer, but they know that team usa is somehow on their way to the world cup, so they've employed their usual (over-the-top) superstitions to help them along. the night before the championship, one of them orders chinese takeout (they're not allowed to order "enemy cuisine" until that team is out of the running (china hasn't qualified for the world cup since 2002 but just pretend with me)) and ends up with an extremely specific fortune cookie that says as long as the three of them watch the whole match, usa will win. naturally, the paper then spontaneously combusts and he has to convince the other two without it.

so, on a stormy night three dudes who know next to nothing about soccer but combined have all the sports-related superstitions in the world are now watching the world cup, knowing that they have already set the outcome of the game in their favor just by seeing it through but not trusting that enough to abandon their frankly insane rituals. most of the comedy of the play is tied to someone being told to absolutely under no circumstances sit down/stand up/touch the tv remote/talk about losing/talk about winning/etc. in the end, the power briefly goes out in the storm, the game is lost in the few seconds they aren't watching, and the play closes with the commentators dragging usa for an incredible loss while the guys realize what happened.

i was happy with the play and received great remarks on it, but i've been wanting to rewrite it some before putting it anywhere. more importantly tho i spent so long writing these guys for a ten minute play that i came up with all sorts of side info for them. i also changed their names because i didn't like the ones i wrote for the class (i gave them dudebro names but they weren't middle-aged sounding enough lol).

first of all, they're in a polycule. they've known each other since childhood but only got together in adulthood, and they don't live together just yet. they all work fairly steady jobs and spend their time off at one of their places depending on what they plan on doing.

the one hosting the fifa watch party is adam. he's the most superstitious and as a former star athlete he knows the most of the three (minimal) about soccer. he has the nicest place with the biggest tv and keeps it mostly clean. it is mentioned in the play that he likes to watch asmr videos with the sound off because he doesn't like the sound.

the one who opened the fortune cookie is kenny, short for kenneth. he doesn't understand or give a damn about any sport and is extremely skeptical, but was interested to see how his weird as fuck fortune would turn out. he also drinks too much dr pepper. this does come up in the play. his place is actually a mess (he's very forgetful) but the other guys find it endearing. he thinks it's bizarre that the first guy watches asmr for the visuals since it's supposed to be about the sound.

the third guy is curtis. he's pretty superstitious but the only sport he really understands and pays attention to is american football. he spends most of the time acting super "usa! usa!" to the point where the other two are like "hey man you're not usually like this we're here for you if you need to talk." he's very emotional because he has a big heart. his house is a little messy but only because he has two or three dogs that everyone loves very much. he thinks asmr stands for "audio something something something."

i could continue to make up new things about them forever. they're like old friends to me. kenny loves food but can't cook (he Can but it doesn't turn out very well). curtis is the Real chef of the three, and the other two want him to make a living of it but he's not confident enough in his abilities. adam is a little bit scared of dogs but was introduced very gently to curtis' dogs and now they're mostly chill. kenny doesn't yet know that he's a cat person because he's a big fan of dogs and doesn't know that those aren't mutually exclusive (and then one day he rescues a stray kitten and that animal becomes his Child). curtis got the other two into street fighter when they were younger and is still a little upset that they both turned out to be better than him (and that they still are). god. my guys. my guys.

i love boring characters who experience situations it's like fun to me please understand. i've been wanting to write more plays with them and whatnot. whenever i get around to that i'll probably post about it on neocities :)

ok that's enough rambling for one morning lol hope everyone enjoyed it 👍

#thank you for asking!!!!!!!!#mail time #mapsofnonexistentplaces

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