#suicide attempt mention cw

[r3dblccd]

: ̗̀➛ @crue11; continued from here

Minsung wasn't exactly a party person. Even when he was studying in university, when other students went out to go crazy at night, Minsung much rather stay at home, pulling all-nighters to work on his assignments instead of doing one-nighters. Just the thought of being in a small space with people he didn't know at all and dizzying loud music sounded like a nightmare to him. And his very first time going to a "proper" party, it ended up in an even worse nightmare. That night when he was walking barefoot on the dark empty streets back to a home that never really felt like a home. That night he went straight to the bathroom when he was inside and submerged in the water of the tub... And then woke up in a hospital

He kept saying it was in the past, that life goes on, but it wasn't something one could forget so easily. But he wanted to give it a chance for Han given how his friends really seemed to want to meet him. He wasn't exactly sure of what to expect, but he figured that it wouldn't be too bad. At least with Han, he could be sure that the past won't repeat itself. Sure, the invasive questions from his friends were a little much, but they weren't the worst either, he could simply not answer them. And it wasn't like he was thinking about them that much when he asked that question in the car.

Minsung was never the type to jump to those kinds of things that fast, he wanted to know the person he was with before doing anything, hook-ups did not work for him. But the topic had come up, and they did have some time to get to know each other, so what's the worst that could happen? Plus, Minsung really wanted it for once and Han wasn't helping with the way he kissed his wrist and spoke to him; he was just a tiny bit embarrassed asking about it. He did a small gulp at Han's question, finally shifting his eyes to look at him. "A little bit, yeah." What was that one saying about living life without regrets? Minsung gave him a small nod while trying to keep his composure. Okay, but what if he's the one who messes up? Nope, nope, he wasn't going to think about that now.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man

[reasonsforhope]

"When Ghana’s parliament voted to decriminalise suicide and attempted suicide in March, Prof Joseph Osafo felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

Osafo, head of psychology at the University of Ghana, had been engaged in a near 20-year battle to abolish the law – brought in by the British – which stated that anyone who attempts suicide should face imprisonment or a fine.

“It was a very good feeling. I felt like a certain burden had been removed. I was extremely elated,” he remembers. “Then the next morning, I realised we had a lot of work to do.”

Four countries decriminalised suicide in just the past year

Ghana is one of four countries to have decriminalised suicide in the past year – Malaysia, Guyana and Pakistan are the others. More could soon follow, which campaigners say is a sign of greater awareness and understanding of mental health. Kenya and Uganda have filed petitions to overturn laws and members of the UN group of Small Island Developing States have committed to decriminalise. Discussions are also being held in Nigeria and Bangladesh.

“There seems to be a domino effect taking place,” says Muhammad Ali Hasnain, a barrister from United for Global Mental Health, a group calling for decriminalisation. “As one country decriminalises suicide, others start to follow suit.”

“It is quite unusual,” adds Sarah Kline, the organisation’s chief executive. “It’s a huge sign of progress and an important step forward for the populations most at risk, as well as the countries as a whole.” ...

A large number of laws were introduced by the British during colonial rule. Suicide was decriminalised in England, Wales and Northern Ireland in the 1960s – it was never criminalised in Scotland...

The results of these punishments can be “devastating” and present “a huge barrier” to addressing the problem, says Natalie Drew, a technical officer with the mental health policy and service development team at the World Health Organization. Health experts and advocates argue that suicide should be treated as a public health issue rather than a crime.

Criminalising suicide denies people the right to access health services and discriminates against them because of something they’re experiencing, Drew adds. Research shows that in countries where suicide has been decriminalised, people can seek help for mental health and rates tend to then decline.

Next Steps

In September, the WHO is due to release a guide on decriminalising suicide for policymakers, with explanations of how countries have managed it...

“[Ghana’s decision] should have an impact on the work ongoing in other countries, especially in the Africa region,” says Osafo. Within the past couple of months, he has set up a mental health working group with representatives from about 20 African countries, and one of the biggest issues on the agenda is decriminalisation of suicide, he says. “Nigeria is active, Cameroon is active … Kenya has joined and is doing fantastic work. We have Uganda. People have been asking us how we did it.”

Since suicide was decriminalised in Malaysia last month, Anita Abu Bakar, founder and president of the Mental Illness Awareness and Support Association (Miasa), has already seen things change. Crisis response teams and helplines are expanding, and money from the mental health budget is being given to organisations who work in the community. “This is the shift we’re so happy to see,” she says. “It was such an archaic law.”

She adds: “I’m a person with lived experience. What does decriminalisation mean to people like me? We feel supported, we feel this conversation can go to a different level. Obviously decriminalisation is not the only way to prevent suicide, but it’s a big one. I’m happy for this progressive move – better late than never. I’m excited to see what happens next, not just for Malaysia but for the rest of us.”"

-via The Guardian, July 20, 2023

[regretevator-headcanonss]

hm.. Enough showing our headcanons.. (Only once) Now show US your HEADCANONS!!!!!

My regurgitator headcanons some sad some random

Mannequin Mark

• Hyperfixated on wood and will not hesitate to yap about wood to the point your ears bleed

• Woodtism

• Got the hyperfixation a while after getting the woodworking job

• Hates Glevil

• Silly

• Gets sent memes from ifunny by Jimmy and laughs because he also somewhat finds them funny and just so Jimmy won't feel bad. Also ocaisonally references some of them

• Has made some BAD wood puns. Very bad puns..

• Self harms with one of his carving knives.

• Attempted before.

• Suicidal.

• BE TRANSGENDER!!

Wallter

• Objectum and posic

• Suffered from Mark's wood yapping (OH GOD WHEN WILL THIS MAN SHUT UP ABOUT WOOD???)

• Drinks grey stuff when he misses Mark

• 30 - 56 or smth (oldass man /silly)

• Does not want to go to a therapist

Lampert

• AuDHD

• Torn between his two friends (OH GOD WHEN WILL THESE TWO STOP ARGUING)

• Not their child!!! ^^

• Dreams about a pure clean land with no ounce of germs in it. Though when Folly was still invading people's dreams she would come in and spread germs on which would basically give Lampert a panic attack (sorta canon but whatever I'm still labeling this as headcanon)

Jimmy

• AuDHD

• Sucks at understanding social cues but can understand them sometimes when its more in his face or smth

• Contradictory to the previous headcanon, He's also street smart ish.

• Probably some form of chronically online in a young middle aged dad way

• Has a few repressed memories

• Skates a bit (based off the soap shoe thing)

• Decent skating skills

• Silly

•Thinks he's cool and epik

• Shows Mark memes from ifunny because he thinks they're funny and cool and would get a bit sad if Mannequin Mark said they weren't that funny

• Tries to laugh at some of Mark's bad wood puns (he doesn't actually find them funny he just doesn't want Mannequin Mark to go into a deep depression again)

• Tried to be supportive and comfort Mark during the divorce despite misunderstanding the topic a bit and saying some things that were a bit inappropriate for the tone. Still managed to make him feel better!

• Has pica and eats wood which is technically cannibalism and also sometimes gnaws on Mark's arm (<- adopted headcanon. I think you know who i stole this one from)

• Stims by biting his arm

Glevil

• Homophobic /hj /j

• Internalized homophobia and homophobic prejudice (either interchangeably or at the same time. Depends how i wanna depict em)

• Drinks tree sap

• Rude

• Hates Mark's guts and thinks Jimmy is stupid and useless (hey!! That's rude 😡)

• Evil but not very gleeful!! Oooooo!!!!!

• The glitchy face is a factory defect

• Controlling and manipulative (oooh!! Spooky!!!!!!!!)

• Hates non-mannequins and the ones that left the hivemind

• Alcoholic (<- adopted headcanon)

• Their voice is their charisma ig idfk

• Wants to and will cannibalize someone

Boots

• Boots/Bootsself and They/She/He/Any

• Flexes their height and Boots ALOT.

• Would probably have boots' worldview shattered if they saw someone taller than them

• Kinda self centered

• Has beef with the other mannequins ocaisonally.

• Wine aunt

• Gay. Gay as hell

• Would step on someone. Not in a kinky way

Kai

• He/They

• Dry but secretly the silliest guy ever

• Has counted how many times Glevil has killed someone with chalk

• Would've acted just like Manequinn :3 if it weren't for the fact he occasionally witnessed probably the most fucked up shit in their life and stuff

• Born to be a yapper but forced to listen to Glevil

• Boring!!

Timmy

• Ignorance is bliss.

• Can sharpen his lollipop into a spear

• Doesn't realize some of the shit he witnesses is fucked up and thinks strangling people is normal

• 5-10 years old or smth

• Loves his lollipop!!

• Happened to be manufactured smaller than the others.

Manequinn :3

• They/Them

• Poob but if you made them a mannequin and turned their annoyingness up to 11

• Screw it. This one has ADHD too and i say so

• Born a yapper.

• Full name: Manequinn Quinn :3 bla catty Mane Mannequin

• GEEK!!

• Likely a weeb and a MHA fan

• FURRY!!!

• would type :3 or a variation of it at the end of every sentence (like 3: if they are sad)

• Silly

• would have a jar.

• And a figurine.

• Insane in a way

• Would be a wattpad user..

All of the mannequins in general

• Can range from non-sentient, sapient and sentient but usually non-sentient. (mostly due to the cult-hivemind thing yadayada)

• The ones in glevil's room are depressed as fuck

• Bleed tree sap

• At some point weren't all mostly part of a hivemind. Glevil just fucked up shit a little bit (BOO!!!! TOMATO TOMATO!!!)

• The reason some mannequins have funny faces is because the workers at the factory use markers and draw silly goofy faces instead of the usual face craved out on them. Though Glevil's face wasn't a result of the workers goofing around. It was more of a defect

• The company agreed to throw their regular and defected mannequins into the wood chipper to help the Regretevator staff. Some mannequins who get spotted moving infront of people get sent to the crusher. However Mannequin Mark is an exception.

Gnarpy

• Struggles with love and trust similarly to Folly: Being hurt so many times they don't want to get too close to someone so they don't get hurt again (Trust issues 🤑🤑)

• Gifted child ahh mf

• Raised to be this way

• Committed multiple war crimes

• Won multiple wars!! (and may have killed a few species to extinction)

• Distracts xemself from guilt and trauma by using a gun and killing people

Also I'm coming out. I'm cherriezkin lol and yes i did terrorize hat one headcanon blog

[edwardallenpoe]

Um. Prepare yourself for the s&co episode. The representation (if you can even call it that) of DID is BAD. Once I realized that the person had DID I was pretty pissed to say the least. I emailed them like 4 paragraphs on how shitty that was. I feel like a Karen but it was honestly deserved. But if you’re upset by portrayals of people with DID I’d skip this one.

i opened my inbox this right after listening to it. Thank you for the heads up tho, but it is far too late.

I honestly feel a little sick. Not gonna lie.

"we now understand more about the human condition" I lost braincells, John. I think we actually DEVOLVED. We LOST knowledge of human existence with this one, chat. And then. Also. John defending Tory's. Ya this was a really fucking bad episode. Wow. It was so avoidable. That entire thing was so avoidable.

You are definitely not a Karen for emailing them, I'm low-key tempted to email them myself but I won't. I need to process that dumpster fire for a little longer. Wow.

It's like. I specifically remember Sherlock listing off DID on his disorder list in the first fucking episode. He has DID. Did Joel and co literally look up the index for the DMS-5 then put them in their notes app or something?????? Like were they just like "yeah anything and everything but PTSD for the plot mate" just for Sheelock to have smt to say?????? It's seems so impossible to me that they have such amazing rep for both PTSD and autism and such but DID was butchered that badly. Woooow. I can't even.

I love this show but that was. So bad. I rlly hope Joel says smt soon about this because woooow . That's all I can rlly say. Just wow.

[kittzuxp]

Twomp oneshot i wrote cuz i was feeling miserable

on Ao3

CW: denial😔, cheating, self-destuctive thoughts and suicide

Mr plant was watching the telly, well not really, he was fidgeting with his hands while he heard the faint laugh tracks playing in the background. He was almost drifting off to sleep when the front door slammed, which shook him wide awake. He titled his head to look, it was his boyfriend, Argos! He looked like he was in a hurry, sweaty and taking big shaky breaths. His eyes filled with anger.

*[what happened?] Mr plant felt a little taken aback, Argos had never acted like this.

“You tell me!” He yelled, throwing photos on his lap. Mr plant fumbled with the photos trying to take a good look at them, and was slightly disgusted by the sight.

It was a depiction of him, holding someone else’s hands and looking at them with the same passion and warmth he looked at his beloved. The person’s face was obscured but some leaves of a tree in the foreground. The setting seemed to be at midnight, a single street lamp illuminating him and the other silhouette. The photo seemed to have been taken at a higher perspective, like a window from the second floor of a house.

The other photos were about the same, but the positions were slightly different. mr plant started feeling uneasy, he had never done this with anyone, nor does he remember this happening.

Mr plant felt uneasy, he knew where this was going, he had seen enough romance shows to know what usually happens.

*[Where did you find the photo?]

“It doesn’t matter! That’s you in the pictures, right?”

*[No! I would never cheat on you.]

“Don’t lie to me! It’s definitely you!” Argos sounded tired, but also hurt. So so so hurt.

*[Where did you find this?! Who gave this to you?] He stood up, towering over Argos by a few inches, and grabbed his forearm. Argos winced and looked at Mr plant in the eyes.

“Why does that matter! It’s none of your business!” He insisted and shook his arm, making Mr plant let go of his powerful grip.

*[It IS my business if I’m the one being photographed!] Mr plant didn’t understand why Argos refused to tell him.

“I- uhm.. UGHH!! When were you planning on telling me this?!” His eyes started tearing up from frustration. Mr plant hurt to see him like this, he reached out his lanky hand to Argos’ cheek to wipe the tears. Argos’ eyes wandered on Mr plant’s face after looking away and slapping Mr plant’s hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” He muttered. Mr plant was hurt by this, but obeyed.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Argos spoke up. Mr plant didn’t have time to think, his mind didn’t have enough time to race.

“We, should break up… this relationship. If you’re going to be dishonest.” He said again, with a firm and slightly louder voice.

“…I think..” he sighed and looked at him, “Look, I think this won’t work.”

Mr plant titled his head. Surely he misheard Argos. He hummed questioningly and brought his ear closer to Argos’ mouth.

*[hmm?] Mr plant sounded again, putting his ear closer to Argos. Surely he wasn’t hearing this.

“Mr plant. I’m Breaking up with you.” He really hadn’t misheard it. His face was turned from Argos’ so neither of them could see each other’s faces. Mr plant’s grin widened, his tears flowing hot down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them, leaving an ugly smudge on his face. He turned his face, a crying Argos was there, trying to look as if his own words weren’t affecting him and holding back.

*[You’d really rather believe some photographs than me..?] Argos was quiet, his two big eyes avoiding Mr plant, his other, smaller ones were looking right at him.

———

As soon as he had come, he had left. and Mr plant was alone.

He was too alone, so alone. He sat on his couch and waited. He waited for Argos to come back from work, like he usually did.

The hours passed, Argos didn’t come. But he waited like he always did. He never moved an inch. Soon, 2 days had passed when Mr Plant realised he wasn’t going to come back, come back home. Not HIS home anyways.

What even was he without Argos? Argos was always a very distinguishable person. But all Mr plant was was a cold monster who tried to feel human emotions and failed. He didn’t have a distinct personality nor a unique trait that made him his own person.

He was just a mutated flower from a foreign void. This wasn’t meant to happen to him. Everything that had happen. He was mad at himself, he was mad at Argos but also wasn’t.

Not even once did he think to comfort himself through this. He only blamed himself, it wasn’t Argos’ fault, he only believed at what he saw.

There were too many thoughts racing in his mind, too many for him. He thought his head might explode with how much thoughts he was having. Too many, So so many...

Your fault

your fault

your fault

His hands gripped tighter against his throat. His breaths were beginning to cut short.

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOURFAULT

YOUR-

He gripped tighter.

His vision began to grow faint and his thoughts started to drown out. His Head started to hurt in a good way, a comfortable way that didn’t hurt at all.

He gripped as tight as possible.

He was not longer breathing, gasping for air that wouldn’t reach his lungs. The only thing in his mind were the gasps and yelps. He tried to shut them up too.

After a bit his feet gave up, he fell down and closed his eyes.

“Goodbye Argos, I love you..” He knew nobody would hear that, and took his final rest.

[uzi-vents]

tw major vent under cut‼️‼️

containing s3lf h3rm, su!cidal thoughts/attempts, self hatred, depressive episodes/depressive thoughts, e3ting disorder, dissociative thoughts/ dissociation, not feeling real? dehumanization? (not sure abt the last 3 sry.

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

Song prompt: Close Behind by Noah Kahan

Check DMs for more details :)))

Sorry this took so long! I didn’t have an idea I liked enough for it, and then I recently got re-obsessed with this show, re-read my longfic, and suddenly had an idea :) It’s sad I hope that’s what you were hoping for :) Hope you enjoy!

Tw: mention of a suicide attempt.

This is sorta vaguely in my All Too Well series, but it should make sense even if you haven’t read it. When I eventually move this over to ao3 I probably won’t make it part of the official series, mostly cause I was too lazy to check my own continuity, but it’s definitely inspired by that series’s specific brand of canon divergence.

Tagging @felicitysmoaksx by request :)

“So you know I worry that you’re all I have to lose”

“I live my life in years to come to prepare myself for sorrow”

“I should change this way of thinking, that all my fears are facts of life”

—Close Behind by Noah Kahan

“Bobby always thought he wasn’t good enough, always thought he’d be forever on the outside, always thought Luke, Reggie, and Alex would wake up one day and decide they wanted to go back to just having each other and didn’t need Bobby anymore, and technically, in a twisted morbid sort of way, he was right.”

—i might be okay but i’m not fine at all

***

They have a band meeting.

Luke holds Julie’s hand, because he can, and stands before his boys (come on, Luke, two out of three of his boys) and says, “I wanna fix things with Bobby.”

Alex and Reggie look at each other, and then at him. Reggie says, “Okay, man! Whatever you need.”

Alex says, “Just, you know. Be careful about it, okay?”

Luke bounces a little on his toes, trying to redirect the anxious energy buzzing underneath his skin. He looks at Julie, who gives his hand a comforting squeeze, and then back at Alex and Reggie. “I need to stop jumping to conclusions. I don’t want to get back at him. I don’t want revenge. I just… I wanna understand what happened. Will you guys help me decide what to say?”

They settle around Julie’s dining room table with some snacks courtesy of Mr. Molina and a place set for Julie’s mom, as a sign of good luck. Julie pulls up Trevor Wilson’s Wikipedia page, and they get started.

The beginning is laughingly low in detail. Trevor Wilson was born in New York. Trevor Wilson relocated to Los Angeles at age 18. Trevor Wilson was discovered at an open mic at Ridley’s Bar on July 22, 1998.

“That’s—” Reggie starts to say.

“Yep!” Luke interrupts, hands gripping the edge of the table. “Keep going, Julie!”

“Despite not being native to the city,” Julie reads, “Wilson became a household name among Angelinos in the music industry as soon as his self-titled debut album was released in September ’98.”

“And that would be…”

“Our self-titled debut album,” Alex fills in, patting Reggie’s hand. “We know, Reg.”

Luke puts his head in his hands and lets out a long, muffled groan.

“It’s okay, hey, we knew this part already!” Julie rubs Luke’s arm comfortingly. “Do you wanna keep going?”

“No,” Luke says into his hands. “…Yes.”

He sighs and drops his hands back into his lap, just in time to see Julie, Alex, and Reggie exchange a look. Like they’re worried about him.

Maybe they should be.

Julie takes a breath and looks back at her phone. “His album got a bunch of hits. His second one… didn’t. He, um… oh, god, I remember this, I was like five or six and Trevor had this crazy mental breakdown on live TV. He, like, threw a desk and cried a bunch. Says here he chugged a whole bottle of tequila and told a reporter he just wanted to be loved.”

“Oh, wow,” Reggie says.

“Jeeeeez,” Alex murmurs.

Luke stares at Julie’s phone like it holds all the secrets of the universe. “Bobby got drunk?”

“Next couple paragraphs are all about his history with alcoholism,” Julie reports with a sympathetic wince. “And then he went into rehab in 2010, I remember that too, my mom told Carrie and me he was on a ‘business trip,’ but it was, like, all over the news.”

“Damn,” Alex says under his breath.

Reggie pouts. “Poor Bobby.”

Luke feels like there’s an ice cube steadily tracing a path through his bloodstream. “He, uh. Really had it rough, didn’t he?”

Julie reaches over to take his hand, but her eyes don’t stop scanning down her phone screen. A few scrolls later, and her face goes sickly pale.

Luke’s heart skips a beat. “Julie? What’s wrong?”

She clicks her phone off and lays it face down on the table. “Nothing!” she says in her high-pitched lying voice. “I think we’ve seen enough, don’t you? Trevor lost you guys, and obviously was going through it for a while, and no matter why he stole your songs, clearly he felt pretty guilty about it, so I think that’s a good enough start for a reconciliation! How about you start by apologizing for haunting him—”

“Julie,” Luke interrupts, unable to unsee that look on her face. “What’d the rest of that page say?”

She takes a deep breath, shifting in her seat, and looks all three of them in the eye in turn, hand still clutching Luke’s. And then she says, “A few years ago, right when Carrie and I stopped being friends… Trevor Wilson tried to kill himself.”

Luke makes a sound like all the air has been punched out of him. He closes his eyes, and the blackness, paired with the ringing in his ears, makes his friends around him seem to disappear.

Makes the world seem to disappear, leaving Luke with nothing but himself, and his memories of a Bobby who doesn’t exist anymore, and the painful truth of the life Trevor lived.

The songs don’t matter, in light of this, do they? The music doesn’t matter, the legacy doesn’t matter.

What matters is that they messed up. They assumed the worst, never bothered to get all the facts, haunted a man who’d been chased by ghosts his whole miserable life.

They may have lost the music of Sunset Curve. But Bobby lost them.

“So, uh.” Alex’s voice brings Luke’s focus back. He opens his eyes and realizes they’re all holding hands now, him and Julie and Alex and Reggie, one big band circle. One big family. Alex squeezes his hand. “We’re all gonna go apologize to Trevor now, right?”

“We have to,” Reggie adds. “His life has been so… sad.”

“Well, not anymore,” Luke promises. “He didn’t lose us, guys. All that sad stuff his brain told him— it was wrong. He is loved. And he’s not alone.”

Reggie nods. Julie smiles. Alex says, “Course he’s not alone. He’s getting us back.”

[totally-callisto]

Heads up Callisto's about to have a character arc that might trigger people-

Triggers in the upcoming character arc: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and (failed) attempted suicide

This arc is going to be somewhat based off of my mental health back in 2020, in other words, not great-

In other words Callisto is at a all-time low-

[bnuuywol]

How is your characters mental stability? More specifically, perhaps, how have the events of their life shaped their perception of the world and their place in it? Do they suffer from their trauma and to what extent? Do they feel themselves defined by it or endure in spite of it? Are they memories that are more painful than others; whether because they're more difficult to deal with or that they link back to an overall point?

Phoenyx's mental stability is, historically, not great. Growing up, having lost both parents when he was far too young to remember them, he was taken in by a guardian who had anything but his best interests at heart. She taught him that he was weak, that he was cursed, that no matter what he did, he would bring tragedy upon anyone and anything he came into contact with. Her neglect and emotional abuse shaped him, convinced him down to his very core that her words were true. He suffers heavily from this trauma. Everything he does is tiptoeing around this seemingly inevitable tragedy. For a long time he shoves his own wants and needs to the side in favor of being the perfect kid, the perfect errand boy, the perfect adventurer, the perfect Warrior of Light. And it's only a matter of time before he cracks under the pressure. And crack he does. Phoenyx cracks and breaks and suffers from his own repressed anger becoming this all-consuming force that he cannot control. The sweet, naive man that many came to know and love drowns in this whirlwind of rage and grief, and he almost loses his grip entirely. He manages to pull himself back from that edge, but he spends a good long while teetering on it. I believe his story is a story of overcoming it. Because no matter how heavily the pressure weighs on him, no matter how close he comes to giving up, he never does. Even when he raises a blade to his own chest when all hope seems lost when he cannot contain the Light, he manages to drop the blade and push forward instead. He lives, despite some memories being so painful that they trigger anxiety and panic. He lives, despite losing so much that he wishes he could join those he lost. He lives, despite every fiber of his being telling him he shouldn't and he should free everyone of the curse of his existence. He lives, and he learns, and he grows. And while he still struggles, he's finally begun to heal.

[huntinglove]

Just a quick post to thank my friends and all the lovely people who've reached out to me last night.

You've all saved my life, genuinely. Thank you so very much, from the bottom of my heart.

I attempted to overdose on some of my medicine but was persuaded out of it, I'm doing alright right now.

I'll be resting for a few days/weeks/months/??? and I'll eventually fill my queue every now and then, so don't worry about running out of imagines, positivity and art from me!

Once again, thank you so much @hisappleofeden @magical-batt @proficshy @greenwormie I wouldn't be here without you 🫂💙

[ribesrubrum]

under the mask of pride (fear rises as a guide)

//so i feel...honestly, a little guilty for how little i've been around as of late, especially since things are picking up drama-wise. irl debuffs aplenty will do that to you. but i wanted to get some writing out to kind of describe Carmine's mental state, so. here we are.

//fair warning: this fic is technically kind of offscreen rp in that it's at least canon that ren and carmine talked like this, though i'd greatly prefer it not be spread as a rumor or leak or something. but it also does talk about some heavy topics; namely very heavy self loathing, some mention of parental abandonment and abuse (heehoo headcanoning carmine's parents/why she's like this), mentions of bullying, self harm in the form of hair pulling/trichotillomania, and uh. ...look i'm not gonna beat around the bush, i don't wanna edgelord, i wanna treat this with respect but i also don't wanna sugarcoat it, this gets about as close to implying carmine was about to take drastic measures to alleviate her suffering as i'm comfortable with getting. the less implicit version of this warning will be in the tags. please uncollapse the tags before reading. dead dove: do not eat is in full effect here.

//this is going to be pretty heavy, and also stupid long. feel free to click if you're okay with handling that.

Carmine's listlessness has only grown as the days have worn on, she's finding. It doesn't help that her knuckles are still raw from punching her wall a day prior--she's thankful it seems like the wall fix went off without a hitch, and all she got was a rather stern talking to about making noise so late at night before the teacher that spoke with her went off. Cardigan's been sticking close to her side since Leavanny elected to stay near Kieran at least for a time, but even now, she feels pathetic for it.

Pathetic that she can't help her brother. Pathetic that she can't help her girlfriend, who simply wants to make sure that the whole club that they built together and maintained isn't destroyed because of Drayton's boneheaded move. If Carmine looked deep within herself, she'd be looking at Kiki's actions too, that he allowed this, that he's possibly setting himself up to lose everything. That Drayton's encouraging it, and she's been more on edge than ever and ready to tear someone apart for it. If she doesn't wind up punching him out when all is said and done, she's going to be very surprised.

Cardigan trills a bit from beside her, and she looks down to the flower-less Lilligant, pausing a bit as she looks down. She recognizes that trill, and knows that she's probably being concerning right now. Emotional regulation is still something that Carmine struggles with, even now, knowing that she can't and she shouldn't scream her feelings out to try and get people to understand, that yelling doesn't help, that you have to see other's perspectives. Even if sometimes, they trounce all over your own. Carmine looks down to Cardigan, giving the Lilligant a tired smile.

"...Sorry, Cardi. I know I'm probably not making your job very easy." It's soft in a way Carmine never usually is. In a way that Carmine never allows herself to be--she's all bravado and arrogance because for years, that's what kept her safe. That's what kept her and her brother safe, even if it clipped his wings and made everyone around her hesitant to approach either of them. It was safety, the thorns and briars that she metaphorically planted around herself, letting them spread where she walked and lashing them out at anyone who would even for a second think of hurting her. It was safety, it was lonely, but it was home.

...It's no wonder she likes grass types so much. The Lilligant's gaze only seems to get sadder when she says that much, gentle, leafy hands going to take one of her own as Cardigan stares up at her, as if trying to communicate something with those amber eyes that almost seem pleading. Carmine's hand trembles a bit, because once again she doesn't understand, she can't understand, why can't she--

Carmine hears footsteps, and immediately, her guard is up. She's immediately ready to go on the attack, in case anyone saw her, in case she has to defend being out for a walk in the Canyon Biome with her therapy Pokemon, something she's already received plenty of jabs about--but no. There's a familiar mop of blue hair, and that silly, dorky looking Orthworm is following them and waving with them, as Terry and Mio seem to take over where they left off. Ren's an idiot, in the bluntest of terms, but there's a sense of safety that comes with them. That they can see her, at her worst and most cruel, and laugh and let it slide off their back so easily. Because they were her age once. Her gender once, even, though that's largely irrelevant. They always seem so certain and keep their spirits so high, even if she's the only one they've trusted with some of their worries. And Carmine in turn, has trusted Ren with some of hers.

...They're about as disconnected from this entire situation as they can be, even though they met during that trip. It's as Carmine is contemplating going up to them and being a bother and just turning heel and walking away that the choice is made for her, as they turn around, start walking and see her--

"Oh! Miss Carmine, hey!"

She could walk away. She could just tell them to piss off and lash out, and destroy one of the few unconnected relationships she has with this entire mess, one of the few things that's genuinely hers. She could recede inside herself, lock herself away like she did after she reached her breaking point, when she nearly...

"Hey, Ren. Finally getting your nose out of those cameras?"

The barb is light, half-hearted at best, and could probably make someone deeply passionate a little upset at being teased. And yet Ren takes it in stride, laughing easily as they walk up, Lulu going to Cardigan and just kind of talking with the Lilligant for a moment. "You know it, girlie! Arc, all of these worms are doin' so well, they ain't overwhelmin' the environment nor gettin' overwhelmed themselves--everything's so perfect right now, it's really amazing! Ohh, I gotta tell you about some of the babies, they're just--"

For a brief moment, Carmine thinks she can just get away with Ren going on a hyperfixation ramble and forgetting her own worries in favor of focusing on the things her rival has accomplished. Because it is quite the accomplishment, even if Carmine's definitely harped on them for trying to downplay it before. But their gaze goes to Cardigan and Lulu, falling quickly and their words fading off as Carmine looks, and now everyone looks concerned.

Carmine's posture tightens as she realizes she can't get away with this so easily. She feels their gaze dart back to her, and she's already sure her expression is stormy, and...

"...I think that's enough about me." Fuck. Their voice has softened considerably, and she knows she's done for. "Miss Carmine, are you--"

"I'm fine, Ren." It comes out too sharp, too defensive, and there's a brief moment where she's hoping Ren will just walk away at that. She's shaking, she knows she is, and her gaze averts a bit only to feel not just Cardigan, but Lulu--that stupid, brainless worm--take her hands, wrapping them both in leaves and tendrils, and it feels disgusting and bitter and she wants to run and hide, she wants to tear her hands away--

"...Miss Carmine." Ren's voice sounds so soft, so...sad for a moment, and there's a pause as more footsteps can be heard--Carmine doesn't even bother to flinch, but she feels a tug on both of her hands as she opens her eyes, seeing Ren nod at both Pokemon before looking to her with a smile that's both soft and sad.

"Come on, Miss Carmine. Let's go somewhere else to talk, okay?"

---------------------------------------------

The trip back to her room is arduous, even though it barely takes more than fifteen minutes. Every agonizing second feels like a walk of shame, but she realizes something along the way. It's only so long because Ren knows their way around here like the back of their hand now; they know where people aren't, because they aren't some social butterfly who likes to help in every club. They take her through an easy but arduous path that leaves her alone in her head, and it takes a couple of second after Ren's stopped for her to stop too.

"...You must have a lot on yer mind to be makin' mistakes like this, Miss Carmine." Ren's voice is soft, non-judgemental, and they don't even flinch when she turns back to face them with something of a severe expression. It's the kind of care and kindness she doesn't deserve, she's sure, but as she unlocks the door to her room and ushers Ren and their Pokemon inside, it's something she finds herself internally thankful for.

Carmine's room is a mess, perhaps moreso than usual. Stress eating will do that, bags of chips and other sweet and savory alike strewn about. Cardigan doesn't even seem surprised, but Lulu, bless his stupid little soul, seems taken aback by it as he draws himself inside. She hears Ren's footsteps as they close the door behind them, a small sound escaping them as they walk in front of Carmine.

"You want some help cleanin' off that bed of yours?" Carmine looks over at her messy, disheveled bed, and it's many snacks and wrappers as well. It's an absolute Tepigsty, more than she'd ever allow anyone to see. She feels herself listlessly nod her head as she looks over to Ren, who's concern hasn't dampened even an inch as they move to help in an instant. She's thankful she's got a vacuum and that it's early enough in the afternoon that nobody's likely around the dorms; Cardigan and Lulu both assist as well as they help clear it off, at least enough to let Carmine sit down on it once they're all done.

Cardigan hops on the bed with Carmine as she sits down, and Lulu rests his head near Ren's feet as he gets himself comfortable on the floor, and Ren looks to her, finally broaching the topic, "Ya look like you got a lot on yer mind, Miss Carmine. You sure everything's okay?"

It takes Carmine a lot longer than she'd like to respond. Cardigan gently takes hold of one of Carmine's hands, gently petting it with her own leafy appendage. The eventual response she settles on is a bitter laugh.

"...I don't know." It comes out so soft and uncertain, it feels like she's a different person entirely when she says it. "I thought everything was fine. I thought...I don't know, I thought that everything would be okay. I really let myself believe that now that I made up with my brother, that everything would go back to some sort of normal, but..."

Carmine's voice pitches higher and higher with every word, and she finds herself shaking a bit. She can't even look at her rival right now, how pathetic can she even get?

"Oh, Carmine..." There's not even that weirdly respectful 'Miss' at the beginning of her name, and a part of her hates that, that she's being seen as sympathetic for even a moment when she doesn't deserve it, she doesn't deserve this, if she'd just trusted Kiki-- "Nothin' is ever that easy, but I remember how relieved ya were when Kiki actually bothered to respond."

"Yeah." Carmine confirms that much, listlessly, but a ghost of a smile traces her face. "...It really filled me with hope, for a second. That maybe things could go back to some sort of normal, that I could really see Kiki for all he is. It wanted to be seen and come into it's own, and I...I didn't know how to do that, but..."

"...But you wanted to try." Ren's words softly intervene. Carmine nods shortly after.

"I wanted to try. I still do. But it's...that big fight happened, and now everything's just...it feels like we're right back where we started."

Carmine's voice breaks a little bit, and try as she might to rein it in, it's harder to get back on track. At this point, she feels, she might as well just give up.

"...I don't know what to do."

Carmine's gaze stays down, because she can't look at Ren, she can't, she just can't. But Ren's words; soft, steady words, a contrast to the cold steel they loved so dearly, pour out none the less.

"...It's a tough position to be in, Carmine. Ya got your brother and it's undyin' need to win on one side, and ya got Miss Amarys tryin' her damnedest to hold everyone together on the other, yeah?"

"Yeah. And it's like--I don't want to destroy the relationship I have with my brother. I want to rebuild it, to let it come into it's own. But I...my beloved is right, even if I worry about saying it. She tries so hard to uphold the rules of the club, of this school, and these--these jerks keep sending her horrible, disgusting things for it. And for what?"

A quiet settles over the room, and she's sure Ren expects her to elaborate, but she doesn't. Not even she knows what, and she's sure Ren gets it by the time they speak up next.

"...I ain't gonna go makin' any assumptions, but...I don't even think I know the answer to that, Carmine."

It's soft, when Ren admits it. Sad, even. She can only imagine what their face is doing right now, and it gets Carmine to laugh a bit. Bitterly, wretchedly.

"Neither do--neither do I, Ren. And do you know how much that kills me?"

Carmine's voice pitch rises, and she feels her free hand drawing into her hair, Cardigan's trills of concern becoming more apparent as she tries to hop over and dislodge it--

"I love Kiki! I love Amarys! I love them both more than life itself and I--if I say anything at all, I'm going to hurt one of them. Both of them, even, maybe, whether I intend it or not! And the little Mandibuzzes on here, flying around and trying to hurt everyone in this school, they'll be on it in an instant, they'll--they'll hurt them both, they'll turn them both against each other, and I--if I do anything, they already know it's my fault from the start, that all of this is, that I was stupid and boneheaded and lied to my brother because I was scared it could've gotten hurt--"

"Miss Carmine."

"--and I told Juliana to lie, yes, I got so worried that Kiki would just get so excited and that Ogerpon could've hurt or done something worse to it, but then my grandfather told me to keep my mouth shut about helping Ogerpon and I--I didn't--"

"Miss Carmine."

"--And then it--it stole her mask, and I've never been more angry in my life at it, and it just--it keeps stomping on others feelings, and it won't believe anyone, and I don't know what I can actually do--"

"Miss Carmine, please--!"

"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

Carmine's shriek practically causes her to lunge at her friend, the firm tone in that moment making her see someone else. Wide yellow eyes fiercely stare at bright blue ones, as Ren startles a bit at the ferocity in her tone. The quiet over the room is tense and uneasy, and Ren already sees a few strands got torn out because of it. They take a gentle breath in as realization hits Carmine, but she's still for a moment. Still as Cardigan trills with concern, as Lulu looks up with even more concern on his dopey little face, though he looks ready to hold Carmine back more than anything.

Ren's surprisingly quick on the uptake, at least, and they speak up again before Carmine can.

"Isn't that somethin' you should be askin' of yourself?"

Ren's words are confusing, and the confusion must be apparent on her face as they reach her ears. Ren gently breathes, and continues, "I mean it. You've been talkin' this entire time about Kiki this, Amarys that, and I ain't gonna disparage you for that. Sure puts any rumors of ya bein' self centered to bed, not that I believed 'em anyway. But..."

"What is it that ya want, at the end of it all? Isn't that a question that's come up even once for ya...?"

Carmine can't even believe what she's hearing.

"Why does that matter? I've taken what I wanted for years, I--"

"Okay, you hold on a second here." Ren's words are still soft, but there's a firmness to them now that cuts through her words like butter. "When did that stop bein' a question you asked yerself?"

"It doesn't matter--"

"It absolutely does matter? Girl, yer gettin' tugged in two different directions and ya sound like yer long past the end of yer rope."

"Why does it matter when I've been nothing but a selfish bitch this entire time?!"

And that startles Ren enough to actually get them to stop for a second, completely taken aback. Carmine's gaze goes downward, and she's shaking, horribly.

"Those anons were right, okay?! I ruined Kiki's one good friendship because I'm a bonehead, I'm a failure of a girlfriend who can't even help the girl I love so much with her anger and problems other than just being there like a useless cardboard cutout, I deserve this, all of it, even all of the hateful words and it would've just been so much easier if I had--"

Something stops Carmine in her tracks from speaking. Multiple of them, really. Cardigan's hands, for starters, wrapped firmly around one of her own hands; two of Lulu's tendrils wrap around the other, and even Carmine has to admit that she's surprised by how little an Orthworm's head seems to weigh as he rests his head on one of her legs with concern.

The final thing, that she didn't even hear, is Ren getting up and putting a firm, supportive hand on her shoulder, tiny as said hand is. When she actually gets a look at their face, they look like they're about to cry, and for a brief moment she wonders if she's just gone and ruined another friendship.

"Don't--don't you dare talk about yerself like that again, you hear me?"

Oh. That's not what she expected at all; Ren's voice practically trembles as they say that, and it hits something in her. Carmine's eyes well up with tears of her own, and she can practically hear herself sniffling.

"...I'm sorry, Ren." Her voice is so soft, so delicate, so fragile in the moment that she wonders if it's her own. "I'm...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm..."

"I know you are." Ren's voice softens from that point on, and their grip becomes a little easier. A little more slack, but still there. "When did ya stop seein' yerself as someone not worth considerin' the feelin's of, girl...?"

"...I don't know. It was...before that. Maybe when Amarys and Kiki fought that one time. I--I don't know." Carmine's voice is shaky as she struggles to keep herself together, and she feels Cardigan shift and pull her arm into a hug, and the tears start pouring down at that. She can't stop them, even if she's not a sobbing wreck with no dignity. Yet, at least. "...I don't want to lose anything else."

That gets a pause from Ren, who does their best to calm themself down. "Anything else...?"

"...My parents are divorced. My dad was...he was awful. Just a screaming, bumbling oaf who went from job to job while my mom stayed home and took care of us. Though she was...she was way more focused on Kiki..."

Ren listens carefully, nodding their head as Carmine continues.

"I haven't seen either of them in...years. We usually live with our grandparents, when we're not here. Last time I saw my mom, we got into an argument. I asked her why she stopped caring for me. Why she just...tried to leave me with him--"

"...She what?"

Carmine spares a quick glance at Ren's face, when they say that--practically seething with an anger they don't usually express. "...Yeah. She--she said she could only handle one of us, and that I was Dad's favorite, so..."

"Girl." Ren's doing their best to keep their tone level, but the anger doesn't leave. Hell, if anything, it mixes with the sheer unholy audacity of what they heard, leaving them flabberghasted-- "What the fuck is wrong with your mom?"

Carmine laughs, and while it sounds bitter, there's almost some mirth to it. "Yeah. Like I said. We got into an argument last time I talked to her. I told her I wanted an apology for her trying to abandon me, before Dad went and ran away. I...haven't spoken to her since."

"Carmine...what the fuck, that's so..."

A silence hangs over the room as Ren trails off, but Carmine breaks the silence after a few moments.

"...Between this, and the rest of the shit I dealt with at school...I...I didn't want Kiki to turn out like me." Carmine sniffles, tears still coming unbidden. "I thought you had to be tough and mean to make it, but I just...I wanted Kiki to grow up happy. I wanted it to have a better life than me. I was this bitter, mean girl, but I thought I could at least make it so my little brother--it'd have a chance at growing up to be a gentle hearted little dork who had something happy in it's life. But all I did...it all just amounted to...to..."

There's a few seconds more of sniffling before the dam finally breaks, and Carmine just starts to sob without an end. She's pretty sure her makeup is running down her face, if it hasn't been already; she finally just breaks, her tears pouring and pouring down as she sobs wretchedly and loudly, her hands finally being relinquished so she can try, in vain, to wipe those tears off. But still they come; the pain of so much more than a simple inciting incident, but still mostly that.

Ren uses their own free hand to wipe away the tears falling from their own eyes, as they just let her for a bit.

"...I want to stop hurting." Carmine speaks up, and Ren starts for a moment as they listen. "I want to stop feeling like the evil person that everyone thinks I am. But what if I'm just born evil, and there's no changing that...?"

"That's--" Ren speaks up, briefly, but Carmine speaks again and they let her get it out of her system.

"I want to make things better. I want to just know if it's all my fault, I want to know if I'm just--if I'm justified, in being unable to forgive Kiki for some of the stuff it did." Carmine sniffles again, wretched sobs still escaping her. "...I want to be able to be happy again, without feeling like I'm walking on eggshells. I want to make my girlfriend's pain go away--I want to make Kiki's pain go away, and fuck, maybe even Atlas' and some of the others. I want the world to just stop for a bit, at least so I can stop aching like this. I...I think I just want, more than anything, for someone to tell me I've suffered enough for this, or at the very least, that I just haven't grown up to become a little clone of Dad."

"...Is that so much to ask?"

The question is soft, full of despair, but it at least feels...somewhat good, to try and dislodge some of the thorns in her. It's painful and it feels dizzying, but Ren's hand remains steady, even if their own tears come down hard.

"...You're a teenager. A teenager shouldn't--you shouldn't ever have to ask that kind of shit of yourself." Ren's words are soft, with an empathy forged in the same shit they went through. Just without a depressive spiral and a shut-in phase. "You deserve to be happy, Carmine. You made a dumb, boneheaded mistake, but that doesn't mean you're evil. And it sure as fuck don't mean that you've gone and become your Dad."

Carmine pauses a bit, her sobs coming slower as she tries to listen.

"None of that shit yer askin' about, none of it's too much. But how's anyone else gonna be happy--how can ya share happiness with others if ya ain't gettin' happiness for yerself, y'know?"

"Because ya do deserve it. Whether ya want to admit it or not. Yer not evil, yer not your dad, you're literally a confused sixteen year old girl who should've never been made to feel like that."

It's shocking to hear, really. All of it is. Ren says it with so much conviction that Carmine almost believes it.

"...I don't want to talk anymore. I...I think I just want to...cry..."

"...Cry as much as you need, girl. I'll be here as long as you need."

"Don't--don't tell anyone about this, Ren. Please. Everyone has enough to worry about, and I...I don't want to put more on them. Please, I already feel bad enough burdening you..."

Ren manages something of a soft, warm chuckle at that. "...No worries, girl. What we talked about is stayin' in here, I swear on my life."

"...Thank you, Ren."

Carmine cries herself out eventually; by the time she's done, the two of them have shifted from the bed to the floor, bringing Carmine's mattress down to floor level so they could distract themselves until Carmine fell asleep. It's no easy fix, listening to a friend, but...if it makes the burden lighter, then Ren has no problem with it.

They were in a similar place many years ago with no one to help them, after all. It's the least they can do.

[yell0wsalt]

Bending/Recovery

Day 30 of whumptloktober

Iroh found himself waking to stare blankly at a certain ceiling. Based on the sterile bleach color and lack of personal touch in decor, he surmised he was in a hospital room. Likely for the pounding headache and stinging sensation in his arms. Moving his gaze in a sweeping arc to his right side confirmed such suspicions. His room was located quite high up where if he focused his gaze hard enough he could see over Republic City’s main park to Yue Bay.  

It was a beautifully serene view. He always had a strong attraction towards being in higher up places. The desire to get a better look of the view was humbled by his current condition. 

“General Iroh, please. Don’t push yourself too hard.” A gentle yet firm hand pressed to his left shoulder told him to stay put.

Tracing the hand and voice to its source, Iroh’s lips parted softly, matching the round shape his eyes took. 

“Miss Sato.”

She put on a smile, though all Iroh could see was pity. “Asami’s perfectly fine. Stay tight. I’ll get a nurse. Let them know you’re awake.” 

Before he could say or ask anything else, Miss Sato– Asami– was gone. So Iroh licked his lips before pressing them shut. Gaze turned to the ceiling once more, quietly waiting for answers.

****

Equalized.

Iroh attempted to hold back tears as Asami and the nurse filled in the details of him losing his bending to Amon and his people then the drastic measures he’d taken on a cliff of despair and misdirection.

He scoffed bitterly to himself. Terribly fitting for someone drawn to views from above. 

And humiliating as well.

Asami did her best to be a source of compassion he started to warm up to. Before getting too comfortable, the time came for visiting hours to close.

She said she had a late meeting to tend to anyways. One with her dad on certain business updates.

When she promised to visit again tomorrow, Iroh’s smile turned more genuine, looking forward to her company. Maybe he could get through this.

[someidiotwithalaptop]

Alright: What the FUCK happened to Summer???

Because something sure did, and every new thing we hear about her gets more disturbing, and it haunts me.

So, I'll start with stuff that's fairly certain and like, small leaps of logic before I go full tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist. We have very little actual info about Summer, nearly all of it from different characters talking about her.

From Yang we get the basic facts from her family's perspective: Summer was a Huntress who went out on a mission and never came back. We also get the characterization of, "Super-Mom: Baker of cookies and slayer of giant monsters."

From Qrow, we learn that 1. She was a brat, which like, honestly STRQ was probably just "oops! all brats" 2. He thinks she would have pressed on if she knew the truth, which, uh, she almost definitely did. "We don't have to kill you to stop you," is not the sort of thing you say to Salem if you don't know she's immortal, that's all I'm saying. 3. Whatever her final mission was, she didn't tell him or Tai or Ozpin. I'm inclined to believe Ozpin when he says he genuinely doesn't know what happened to Summer, since his biggest secret is already out—plus he's been genuinely repentent about the mess his lying caused in Volume 6 and is taking steps to do better in the future. It would feel really weird thematically if he knew and was keeping yet another giant bomb of a secret. So Summer went on her final mission alone, or at the very least, she didn't tell any of Ozpin's inner circle where she was going.

We'll get to speculating about why not later, but I think this point is probably going to be important in Ruby's character arc—whatever Summer's ultimate fate, she got there because she tried to save the world alone, and we've seen Ruby do something similar. Like she's not running off after Salem by herself, but she's definitely trying to shoulder the burden of leading and inspiring everyone to keep going all on her own, without asking for help as that responsibility has been slowly yet systematically destroying her mental health. I mean ffs she's been literally carrying her team on her shoulders for two episodes now.

HOWEVER: Oz, Tai, and Qrow don't know anything about what happened to Summer, but it's possible that Raven might. When Ruby tries to reach out to her and convince her to work together, because they'll have a better chance than if they try to do it alone, Raven says, "You sound just like your mother," in truly the most bitter, disdainful-ass tone I have ever heard. And then she opens a portal for Cinder to throw a fireball at her. Whether this is about a more generalized friction that maybe contributed to Raven leaving, or a specific moment when Summer tried to get her on board with whatever she was doing on that final mission, is kind of uncertain. Or it could be both!

(And it might also be she married my ex bitterness but, admitting my biases here, I hate that fucking trope with a fiery passion and I think it's more interesting if her anger at Summer is actually about Summer.)

Regardless, if Summer did ask her for help, then based on how Raven reacted to Ruby I don't think she got it lmao

And then. Oh, and then. We get Salem!

"Your mother said those words to me. She was wrong too."

"Her again?"

So like. Salem definitely met her. Had a whole-ass conversation with her, even.

And that fucking smile??? Salem did some shit to Summer. It's just a question of what, exactly?

Right. Okay. So after they kill the Hound and realize WHOOPS that was a person and he looks an awful lot like Ruby! and everyone reunites, Ruby says this:

"When I saw its eyes, I knew. Salem used to kill people with Silver Eyes, like Maria. But she’s always wanted me alive. Why would that change unless, when she met Mom, she learned she could do something new?"

Timeline-wise, this seems accurate! But I'd like to also insert TR into the equation. It's a little hard to tell given the uhh, body horror of it all, but he definitely looks younger than Qrow (which is maybe not saying a lot given that Raven looks at least ten years younger than Qrow and she's his twin lmao) and, more to the point, like he's probably younger than Summer.

Like, yeah, hard to tell, but I don't think this man is past forty. And even if he is, it doesn't seem like Salem's had him for very long, seeing as she never sent him after Ruby or the relics in previous volumes. So he's probably an example of what Salem's been doing to SEWs after Summer.

Also, Salem calls him an experiment, and says that so far she's pleased with the results. Meaning Summer isn't exactly a Hound, though I wouldn't say that puts grimmification off the table. Just that it's not in the exact same way he is. And it's worth pointing out that the way TR has been grimmified, it's left him completely without agency and unable to disobey Salem. Even after Ruby blasts the Grimm off his head, he's still left repeating "Take The Girl" over and over without any sign of whoever he used to be coming back to the surface. It's possible that is what Salem is referring to when she calls him a successful experiment.

So the way Salem has dealt with people with silver eyes has gone:

Maria (kill her) > Summer (?!?!) > TR (an... experiment) > Ruby (bring her to me alive)

Adding TR into the mix, it seems unlikely that the "something new" Salem learned she could do from Summer Rose would actually have been, y'know, a Hound. Plus from a narrative perspective, I don't think we're going to have Ruby literally saying exactly what happened to Summer into the camera only for her to turn up, Hound-ified just as expected, a couple volumes later. So, some possibilities:

Ruby is actually exactly correct about what happened to Summer, but she's not going to show up later so there's no reason not to just tell us. Personally I doubt it's this, given the way the mystery has been unfolding over eight volumes and counting. It'd be kind of weird to just tell us instead of showing us, or indeed having the Hound literally be Summer. Also, if Summer is a Hound too then why is TR an experiment?

Summer was Grimmified but didn't survive the process, so she gave Salem the idea but she's not actually a Hound. This also seems a bit odd to me given that would mean she's basically just dead like we assumed, but with extra steps. Like it's upsetting but it doesn't represent the kind of dramatic upheaval to the sisters' worldviews that it feels like this is building towards. It doesn't explain how fucking smug Salem is about the whole thing.

Summer was Grimmified, but didn't actually lose any agency. This would explain why Salem is still experimenting, and why she's so pleased with TR—he's even more singleminded in carrying out her goals than Tyrian is. It also fits with the way the Grimmification worked on Salem. Even after she jumped into the goop, she was still very much herself—it's possible it influenced her, but she was definitely capable of showing love and affection to both Ozma and her daughters. She just, uhh,,, was also willing to try and murder them. But it's unclear to me how much of that was Evil Goo and how much was just that there's no way a human being spends any significant length of time as the Last Woman Alive without some unpleasant side effects. We're social creatures and we do not generally do well when completely deprived of company.

Summer wasn't Grimmified at all, the whole Hound thing is a red herring.

In either 3 or 4, regardless of how much body horror happened, Ruby is wrong about what happened to Summer. And in order to not undercut that moment of utter despair at what probably happened to Summer... I feel like what actually did happen has to be. like. worse.

AND IT'S A TAD DIFFICULT TO GET WORSE THAN THE HOUND.

So. Time to put our tinfoil hats on: what if we add an element of horrible betrayal?

Yes this is a Summer-joined-Salem conspiracy post.

But hear me out okay! Circling back a bit, why wouldn't Summer tell any of the inner circle where she was going? If she talked to anyone, it was Raven, who had already noped the fuck out by the time Summer went on her final mission. Now, if it was just Tai and Qrow I'd say she might've kept it from them for the same reason everyone always keeps that secret—she didn't want them to lose hope. But... Ozpin already knows. There'd be no reason not to tell him what she was doing, unless she knew he'd try to stop her.

Now: my goal here is to make all this make sense, without altering the first foundational piece of characterization we get for Summer. Namely, "Super-Mom: Baker of cookies and slayer of giant monsters." I'm not saying Summer learned the truth and went, welp, if you can't beat 'em join 'em. Because both Summer and Raven tend to act as foils to Ruby and Yang, and "gave up immediately" doesn't feel like an interesting foil to Ruby's perserverence. But, if you find out that there's an existential threat to the entire world, and she can't be killed...

Isn't it worth trying to negotiate?

Especially if, say, you were absolutely desperate to end this war in your lifetime. Because Summer knows that if it's really impossible, if Salem can't be stopped, then Ruby will get dragged in whether she likes it or not. All because of a trait that Summer passed down to her.

Salem's been killing people with silver eyes, probably for millenia. It's easily possible that Summer had her own visit from someone like Tock, or noticed the same thing Maria's father did, that there's a suspicious lack of people with silver eyes considering how useful they are against the Grimm. As long as Salem is a threat, Ruby is going to be in that same danger. Forever.

So she has to do something, right? If there's even the tiniest chance she can end this now, before Ruby will ever have to suffer for it, before she gets pulled into an impossible war and Yang comes charging in after her, because of course she's going to try to help her sister... isn't that a chance worth taking?

This is why I think Raven knows some shit, by the by—when she's telling Yang about Salem, she actually kind of indirectly drops the same bomb that went off in Volume 6, it's just that she didn't do it in the same explicit terms that Jinn did. "She can't be stopped, she can't be reasoned with, and she will not rest until Humanity crumbles at her feet."

"Can't be stopped" is Raven's translation of can't be killed, since "We don't have to kill you to stop you" seems to be a flavor of terrifying exclusive to Ruby and apparently Summer. But "can't be reasoned with" implies that somebody tried. And like, let's be honest. Do we really think Raven was the one who decided to give diplomacy a go?

Not to mention this line, which I'm like 90% sure is referring to Summer:

"Or... you can go back to Qrow and join Ozpin's impossible war against Salem, and meet the same fate as so many others."

It really seems like Raven knows something she's not telling us. Like, if that is a reference to Summer's fate, does that mean Raven knows what it is, or is she just speculating like everyone else? Does she have a portal to Summer, and is that giving her information the others don't have? All that, combined with the fact that she's also way more bitter about Summer than everyone else, seems signficant.

Anyways. Let's say Summer decides to have a chat with Salem.

She can't tell Ozpin. He'd try to stop her, because he'd see it as a suicide mission. Qrow or Tai both might tell him, or agree with him and get in her way, so she keeps it from them too. Maybe she goes off completely by herself—or maybe she goes to Raven, because she's the only one who might be able to help who Summer knows won't breathe a word of it to Ozpin. Either way, Raven doesn't help her. She's not getting anywhere near Salem.

And then... well. Salem got here by manipulating people, by swaying them to her cause. Summer asks her what she actually wants out of all this. Isn't there some way they could resolve this without this endless war, all this endless death?

Important to note, I don't think we've heard Salem's motivation in her own words. At least, not since the Lost Fable, when she wanted to rule with Ozpin as the new gods of Remnant. I think it's safe to say at least a few things have changed since then. Closest I can think of is what she says to Cinder in Volume 8, "In pursuit of a new world, no cost is too great." Which is ominous, but also quite vague, and says nothing about what she plans to do with the relics.

Instead, we get a whole lot of people guessing. Ozpin thinks she wants to die. Tyrian thinks she wants to destroy the world. Hazel and Mercury think she wants to remake it, with no Huntsman Academies, with them as the new top dogs.

There's a pattern here—Salem never actually says what she wants, and other people have a habit of projecting their own motives onto her actions. Ozpin wants to die, Hazel wants to destroy the Huntsmen Academies, Mercury wants to be the one with the power so he's not getting hurt, and Tyrian's just in it for the chaos.

And it's not like Salem hasn't done stuff like that on purpose. By the time she started growing her army against the gods and telling people they would all steal immortality like she did, she'd already tried to kill herself. She didn't want immortality. She just let people think she did, because it was more convenient for her.

So if this agent of Ozpin's comes to her, absolutely desperate for a way to end the fight before it can come for her daughters, well... why not just tell her about the gods? About how Ozpin plans to one day reunite the relics, and submit Remnant to their judgment? About what might happen if he does?

(TBH I don't think Oz will ever do that, not because I think he's decided not to or anything like that, but because I doubt he'll ever see a humanity united enough for it to be worth trying. We're an argumentative bunch.)

But like. To Summer, all of a sudden there's this other, even bigger existential threat. And Salem isn't like Ozpin. She does have a plan! She wants to destroy the relics, so that the gods can never be resummoned, because of course she hates them and so she would never want them to come back!

(Again, not saying this is actually true, my best guess is that she's trying to bring them back so she can fight them again slkdfjlskdj)

And then, if they succeed, not only will the gods not be a threat anymore, Salem won't be a threat either. She'll have gotten what she wants!

"This can all... be... over..."

Summer has to finish this. There has to be a way for her to do this by herself, to save everyone, to put a stop to it all in time to protect her children! (Raven can't be right, it can't just be hopeless!)

From there, all Salem really needs to do is be a bit careful how much she tells her other followers about what she plans to do—which it seems like she has—and eventually find a way to either hide what relics she has or convince Summer that she's trying really hard to destroy them, definitely, pinky promise!

(And, as an aside: if true, it's very possible that the reason Salem's so insistent on keeping Ruby alive isn't that she wants to turn her into another Hound, but rather that was one of Summer's conditions.)

All this, of course, may or may not come with a sprinkle of Grimmification. Because why not add some body horror to the good old-fashioned betrayal horror! Though, if I'm right and not going completely off the wall here, I suspect it's probably more in the vein of Cinder than TR. Namely, like, consensual.

Regardless, it definitely feels like Summer has been idealized to a point that's just sort of... begging for trouble. She's the perfect Huntress. The best of us. The one who would have pressed on. And like, historically putting people on pedestals like that has not gone well in this show (see: Pyrrha). Not to mention the way trying to be the perfect Huntress that Summer was has been affecting Ruby over the years.

Also, definitely totally unrelated to all of the above: I think paragons that turn to evil despite or indeed because of all their wonderful paragon qualities FUCK SEVERELY and I would like to see it.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

in italy headlines are being made by the case of a 25-year-old italian guy who's attending university in miami, who got arrested for flimsy reasons outside of a nightclub, hogtied (which is not illegal in florida), almost choked in the same way as george floyd, and tortured to the point he's suffering physical damage in addition to severe ptsd. his mother, who reached him in the usa, says he's attempted suicide four times. the videos of his treatment by the police have reached his lawyer and apparently prove the statements made by the police completely wrong (to the surprise of exactly no one).

reason number seven million i'm never setting foot in the united states ever!! especially not florida!! de santis just signed a law that protects police even more!! the fuck!!

[thygoddessouijathicc]

The After Story Ugly AU

Hey! I have a second AU! Spoilers as always and talk of suicide! Also just overall this is a dark AU! Like not good no one is having fun here there’s no real story it’s just kinda bad.

Ok so basically, right before the ending of the game, and I mean moments before, Scorpion is found in the ruins of the building. He fights back but the people who find him manage to capture him and have him sent off to a rather horrible 1800s esque mental institution.

Scorpion is badly mistreated in the asylum by its staff, and sealed into a muzzle and collar, which is designed to inject him full of sedatives if his heart rate gets too high. No one at the asylum knows his name just where he was found.

After Story Scorpion believes himself to be horrible and irredeemable and only worthy to burn in hell and is trying to escape to… you know… get the ending. He wants to be a better person and understands what he did was wrong but does not know how to actually be better and simply believes it’s not possible and that the closest approximation is for him to suffer and die.

…Yeah I said this was a pretty fucked up no one is having fun AU.

Oh yeah also this AU is in a multi AU RP server I’m doing for fun with a friend and he has been dressed up by one of the other Scorpions

He is not emo by choice but by raising no objections to being dressed any way the other Scorpion wanted. And they decided he was emo. Maybe I’ll draw him in something he’d actually choose to wear but let’s be real it would just be a dull and underwhelming version of the in-game outfit.

Oh yeah he also stuck the mirror shard in his back to have it not taken, he hates the sound of his own voice and elects to try not to talk because f this, and has a bad habit of staring people down from across the room.

Making this AU has taught me that 50% of what makes Scorpion look like Scorpion is the hair and the other 50% is the outfit so when he has neither he really doesn’t look like himself. Which I suppose is kinda the point of the AU, that he’s a shell of his former self that hates himself and doesn’t like any of the things he used to.

Anyway sorry for the weird AU. It’s just kinda here now.