Jonelias Week Day 1 (Which is definitely today I swear), for the prompt "No Powers AU"
This one... maybe got away from me. This is actually only the first half of what I've written so far, and probably the first third overall! I do plan to post this to Ao3 at some point (although I suspect I'll need to do a lengthy round of editing first lmao). It's some very self-indulgent nonsense, which is a lot of what I write, but now it's getting put in the main tags of a ship during said ship's event week. So. It may also be a little bit "aromantic dude tries to figure out what having a crush is supposed to be like." Also a lot of "dude who took Principals of Accounting once pretending it knows what office work is like." Anyway, quick warning before we begin, and the rest will be under the read-more:
Stalking (played for laughs) for most of the fic.
Just. A weird amount of obsession.
Ok that should be it I think. Fic under the cut.
Jon's new boss was, quite possibly, the most boring man in the world. He wore the same outfit every day (pale dress shirt with dark unpatterned tie and gray slacks and matching suit jacket). The only personal effect in his entire office was a potted plant on the windowsill (some sort of succulent, and definitely fake). He always arrived to work exactly half an hour early and left exactly half an hour late. The only hobby he appeared to show any interest in was scheduling, which he seemed to find both deeply engaging and remarkably irritating. In fact, he was apparently so opposed to the idea of mixing his work with his personal life that he might as well not have existed beyond the walls of their office. Jon had never been more fascinated by anyone else in his entire life.
It stared with the transfer to the accounting department. Elias had met with him personally to get him acclimated to his new role. He had been blandly polite, and blandly handsome, and Jon had stopped listening to him about five minutes into their conversation. It was probably bad form, really. The software Elias was droning on and on about sounded like it was about to become a central feature of his days. He really should've been paying attention to it. Instead, he pretended to make eye contact while zeroing in on the top of Bouchard's forehead (a very useful trick, really) and became inordinately focused on the small lock of hair that had fallen across it. It was terribly distracting, and Jon had wondered how he hadn't noticed it. And then he wondered how it had come to be there. And then he had built up an entire story involving a murder, an illicit affair with the assistant director of marketing, and the potted succulent. And then he had noticed Bouchard eying him with what could've been suspicion or amusement or irritation or nothing whatsoever, and had been forced to rapidly pretend to care about their company's bad debt expense policy.
Bouchard had indulged him, and had spoken with the calm authority of someone who knew what they were talking about, and had even managed to avoid being overtly condescending (a feat forever out of Jon's reach). At the end he had shaken Jon's hand (with a nice, firm grip), and had told him "I'm looking forward to working with you, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful member of our team."
Jon had left that meeting with a mind shrouded in a fog of boredom and a faint sensation of warmth which he decided was best attributed to curiosity and left otherwise unexamined.
Over the next few weeks, Jon had tried to subtly inquire into Bouchard's life. At the time, he had been naively under the impression that surely he must have let slip something about his life; some odd quirk or funny story or harmless bit of information which could justify Jon's blooming curiosity. Unfortunately;
"He lives in Chelsea, I'm pretty sure?" (Sasha)
"He's currently in a meeting. Honestly Jon, you'll be better off just sending an email. Now can I please get back to work?" (Rosie, probably lying about the meeting)
"He actually lives here in the office. Set up a cozy little home away from home in one of the storage closets and sneaks out at night to raid the canteen. And he's having an affair with the assistant director of marketing." (Tim, definitely lying (but maybe a mind reader? Also, full of brilliant ideas for places Jon could maybe set up a cot whenever he needs to stay overnight))
Clearly, Jon would have to take matters into his own hands if he wanted answers. That was fine. It could be his own private little research project.
Jon liked to think that the entire thing had actually been quite reasonable, and that he had acted within the bounds of their pre-established relationship as employee and supervisor. Surely any rational person had to realize that nobody could possibly be that uninteresting. Anyone would be curious as to what dark secrets Bouchard his behind his well-tailored suits and polite, professional demeanor.
… perhaps most rational persons would not meticulously record the movements, behavior, and daily appearance of their colleague in a discreet notebook (with annotations, color-coding, and graphs where appropriate), but Jon had always prided himself on his dedication to research and understanding.
So far Jon had collected frustratingly little data. If Bouchard was hiding anything, it wasn't apparent from his schedule (see pages 8-13, figure 2.b), his eating habits (see page 22), or his lone plant (see page five, figure 1.c). His breaks did seem specially timed to avoid other people (and he appeared not to engage in many social behaviors generally), but he never acted irritated or otherwise unhappy to encounter one of his subordinates, so Jon wasn't entirely sure if it was deliberate avoidance or simple coincidence. Really, the only truly odd thing about him was his inexplicable interest in Jon.
That very morning, for example, Bouchard had stopped by his cubicle for a fifteen minute discussion on the upcoming Annual Team Luncheon, an event Jon had never attended before (due to an annual migraine which coincidentally always happened to occur on the exact date of the luncheon), which Jon did not plan to attend, and which honestly sounded like some sort of violation of the Geneva Convention. The topic itself was not especially odd (small talk was an archaic tradition which had stubbornly clung on in every workplace Jon had ever set foot in), but Bouchard's low propensity for inter-office socialization combined with the fact that he had both chosen Jon specifically as his conversational partner was… highly suspicious. Most people who encountered Jon inevitably concluded that he was more effort than he was worth (an attitude Jon mostly appreciated).
And of course, there had also been their interaction two days ago, when Elias had paused briefly to inquire as to whether Jon would be staying late, and what he was working on, and if he might perhaps consider heading home soon because there was only so much overtime they could pay him. Or on Friday, when he had managed to hold two separate conversations with Jon where very little was said. Honestly, Jon somewhat suspected that Elias had spoken to him more in the past few weeks than he had spoken to any of their colleagues for the entire time Jon had been there to observe him.
Most of Jon's notes were now dedicated to their interactions. From his cot in the unused storage room (which was indeed a good place to stay overnight, thank you Tim), he could jot down everything he recalled about their interaction; it had begun at 8:32 and had concluded at 8:47; the weather was warm and slightly humid, although the office interior remained at a comfortable 21 °C. Bouchard's shirt had been a nice, cool gray, which complemented the silver of his eyes. Jon (who had been busy digging for his favorite pen (the ink was a lovely deep green color, and it was usually kept on the left side of the top desk drawer, and Jon had no idea where else it could have possibly gone)) had settled on "irritation" as his tone, which Bouchard either had not noticed or had not cared enough to acknowledge. He had easily dominated the conversation, and Jon could admit in the sanctity of his research journal that his voice had been soothing enough to cool away some of Jon's annoyance. He wrote his conclusion: Subject behaved near-identically in tone, posture, body language, and apparent mood as he has in all previous communications. Subject displayed no strong thoughts or opinions on subject of discussion nor conversational partner. Interaction was pleasant but slightly dull, no new information discovered.
It was almost exactly the same as every previous conclusion. Jon had to admit, so many months with so little progress was… discouraging.
He shifted on the narrow mattress and winced when his movements aggravated his backache (which was surely unrelated to his frequent occupancy of the cot). It was becoming more and more apparent that the only possible solution was to do some actual, direct investigation.
His first idea (break into Bouchard's office) seemed a tad far (also, he didn't know how to pick locks). His second idea (follow him home) seemed a stretch further than the previous one, and was perhaps best saved as a last resort. His third idea (something something computers? (perhaps "idea" was a bit generous)) would almost certainly require Sasha, who would have questions Jon couldn't answer. He flipped idly through his notes, half-skimming, half-thinking. It was only when his gaze landed on figure 2.b, Weekly Schedule of E. Bouchard, that he actually came up with something reasonable. Something actionable.
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Wednesday Fanfic Concept Compellation:
This is a compellation of all my Wednesday fanfic ideas I likely will not have the time or energy to write but wanted a record of:
Wednesday Fanfic Concept - Rivals and Roommates to Lovers
With her parents fast approaching for a string of "Family Therapy Sessions" and with the looing promise of their intervention in her nonexistent love life, Wednesday is forced to take drastic action.
"Enid, Barclay, I have need of one or both of your assistance in a little deception for the duration of my parents extended visit."
Wednesday Fanfic Concept - The Traumatized Time Traveler
Enid watches as her new roommate stares her down, glassy eyes wide as she offers her hand, the words "Wednesday Friday Addams," Escaping her mouth in an almost pained whisper.
Smiling brightly she grasps it, not too firmly given Wednesday looks like she might be bowled over by a stiff breeze and she cheerily greets her.
"I'm so glad you're here Wednesday, I'm Enid asiménio oíko Sinclair."
Her gaze flickered to the adults and she could only wonder…
Why were they giving Wednesday such shocked stares?
The Nevermore Affair
When Wednesday Addams was forced to attend Nevermore Academy she was confident about two things.
1: She would be escaping in short order.
2: She would in no way follow her mothers matrimonial footsteps.
Which begs the question of how she managed to find herself engaged twice over within the first twenty four hours!?
Worse still, it is to the two most vexing people at Nevermore, Enid Sinclair and Bianca Barclay.
The Worlds most unhinged road trip!
If Wednesday had to choose between listening to her parents passionate declarations of love, at best, or a road trip with Tanaka and Divina to free Enid from boot camp and Bianca from her mother she would choose the lesser of two evils and hit the road.
Wenclair - Fake Courting, Politics and Assassins Oh My!
Wednesday does not wish to return home just yet to be coddled and cooed over by her parents. So when Enid dreads her mothers attempts at matchmaking now that she has transformed the Seer concocts an ingenious plan to both irritate Esther Sinclair, ward off Enid's unwanted suitors and give herself some space.
Unfortunately she did not account on Outcast politics. let alone Esther Sinclair endorsing their false relationship for her own schemes. It seems Enid was right to worry there were factors she had not considered.
Wednesday Fanfic Concept - Soulmate Struggles
Wednesday has always loathed the idea of a Soulmates. Emotions of warm nostalgia and love forced on her for a stranger by the whims of fate? IF she ever meets the people whose marks match hers she will ensure she doe snot become a slave to passion as her parents did!
Bianca had always feared meeting her Soulmates. Already terrified of the power she had over the minds of others she could think of nothing kinder than to reject them as harshly as possible.
Enid had always longed too meet her soulmates, hoping to find two kindred spirits who could perhaps love her without conditions or demands.
Too bad for the three of them what they got was each other.
Wednesday Fanfic Concept - Mothers
When Enid slipped away from her mother and the horrifying thought of Conversion Therapy she did not expect to stumble on a conversation between Bianca and her own mother, let alone one so terrifying.
Bianca did not expect to spend Parents day trying to escape her mothers grasp. Let alone trying to do so in the Nightshades catacombs with Enid Sinclair at her side.
With any luck their mothers will kill each other or give up the search, but then, when have they ever been lucky?
Wednesday Fanfic Concept - Duo Detectives!
Enid does not trust Tyler, not in the least. So when Wednesday skips away to get a ride for him she doubles back to make sure the girl won't be ambushed in the parking lot or something.
Instead she finds herself pursuing Tyler into the woods and witnesses his trust nature and the death of Rowan
Wednesday, now armed with a secondary witness and ally is determined to fin out the truth behind Rowan's death, the prophecy and most of all…
Why Principle Weems and Sheriff Galpin are coordinating to cover up Tyler's murders?
Wednesday Fanfic Concept - Nevermore Never Worry
Wednesday finds her efforts to escape Nevermore consantly frustrated by everything from annoying people to her own proclivities.
It is vexing, but at least nothing more serious is going on that might lure her into staying long term; even if she is finding some tolerable people.
Wednesday Fanfic Concept - Shadow Wolf
Wednesday does not notice the rainbow lights or the bright pastels of the dorm room. Let alone the fact half the window is etched in greys blacks and white or that half the room is already laid out for her arrival.
No, her gaze is locked solely on the figure awaiting her inside it.
"I'm Enid Sinclair, welcome to Nevermore, Wednesday."
The voice is gentle but firm and she keeps her distance and no one else seems to notice anything amiss, but Wednesday does.
Because in place of a head, or face, or any human features is the visage of bleeding wolf, thrashing and snarling in fury, blood dripping down its savage maw, glowing eyes gazing into her own.
Wednesday Addams has no idea what Enid Sinclair is, or why no one else can see it, but she intends to find out. If the shadowed wolf doesn't devour her first.
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