#still not named but will have to come up with something someday lol

[pola-rola]

I am the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair ~♪ Thank you so much for the templates, @ai-kan1 <3

Based on no character in particular, a ghost that roams the halls, finding joy and solace in scaring new students and "fixing" potions. Although he was orientated by a mirror to Pomefiore, he is not particularly tied to this specific dorm, and sees no harm in regularly visiting other dorms, including Ramshackle, where his three oldest closest friends reside. (Although Ignihyde is definitely his favorite because it has spinning chairs there lol) ___________

June was a self-motivated and confident child from an early age. The absence of a family did not stop him from immersing himself in his studies, so that over time he could proudly show the world the results of his hard work. So the appearance of the Black Carriage in front of him was the happiest moment in his short life. Of course, the coolest, strongest and most responsible Headmage is there! Maybe he will take him under his wing and teach him everything that will help him become just as amazing? Well.. The boy was disappointed. In any case! Pomefiore was not the dorm he was hoping for, but who cares, he will become the coolest in any dorm, and soon he will take the place of the housewarden, right? Overblot. Not his. Some student. Too strong, to the detriment of himself and others. The entire school was terrified of this terrible incident. Luckily, no one was seriously injured. No one, except for one freshman, poor thing, what bad luck…

"He was controlling some black spikes or something… I remember one of those things flying straight towards my head and that's go dark... When I opened my eyes, the sky was clear again and I was surrounded by ghosts. They were sympathizing with me and complaining about how young and unlucky I was. I have no idea where my body is, although I guess I don't need it anymore." ____________

Dom. hand: None "Have you ever felt like both your hands are left?" During life, June was right-handed. As a ghost, both of his hands seemed to stop working well. He could still do the usual things, like hold things and stuff. But writing and doing any neat work became difficult, like… Well, like doing anything with your non-dominant hand. - Dislikes: Awkward conversations "Yeah, I was named after a month." "No, "it" wasn't hurt." "No, I'm not going to tell you what it's like to be a ghost." "No, I'm not going to fly right through you on purpose." "What difference does it make to you how old I am?" "Stop asking questions like that!" - Talent: Change body forms

"Something that makes me different from other ghosts"? Oh, you mean my legs? Heh, the perks of being young. And smart, I guess. Study hard and you'll be like me someday. No, that's not what I meant-"

So, my hc is that ghosts can show their full body form (I think ghosts with legs are creepier, by the way), but they don't see the point in it. It also takes energy, and that's what it takes to be visible to humans. June prefers to show his full form, though he modifies it a bit. You don't want to see his ghost like he looked right after the incident, right? He's not a monster to scare poor students THAT much. ̶a̶l̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶n̶ "I'm not actually changing clothes, it's just an illusion." Ghosts remain in the clothes they were wearing when they became ghosts. However, if necessary, they are quite capable of visualizing the outfit that suits the occasion. Something simple, though. Pomefiore uniform appears on him when he gets to the dorm, but in other cases he either wears a school uniform or creates other, simple outfits. By the way, in more "capey" outfits, his bottom looks the same as other ghosts (like the bottom of Eliza's dress), for example in the Ceremonial robes, because its shape is already quite difficult to maintain due to all these patterns.

"Salpa" I'm not Floyd, so it was a bit hard to come up with a fishy nickname right off the bat. Of course, I think "Jellyfish" would suit him better, but since the nickname is already taken, what can you do.. In any case, I dug around on the Internet and found the most ghost-like sea creature IMO. Pretty creepy thing, I tell you…

"Monsieur Badluck"

Cutie-patootie Rook was unshakably convinced that the student from their dorm had fallen proudly in a heroic battle long ago, and not simply died due to his own stupidity and self-confidence. It was hard to talk him out of "Chevalier des Blots" and agree that it was just an unfortunate incident…

His feelings towards Jade is like "Oh, look at that cute smile 😍 Wait, why is he smirking like that 💀 Oh, he's so handsome when he's focused 😍 Wtf of mushrooms is he talking about 💀 You're so cute I love you 😍 What the hell, why are you such a weirdo dude💀"

________ ̶W̶h̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶H̶e̶a̶d̶m̶a̶g̶e̶?̶ _________________________________ phew, that's all. thank you if you read all my chatter here, take a meme („• ֊ •„)

[sidetrek]

i can reuse old OC’s for my current comic if i want to 😤

[https-kreideprinz]

Someday, I'll be falling without caution !

Percy Jackson x GN! Reader

. . . Now playing: People watching by Conan Gray! . .

A/N: Hey, could you do a Percy Jackson x cabin 13 reader, where they are childhood friends and have feelings for each other? (first one making a request lol)

Notes: Nico kill a bitch. (it's 10:51pm i am so tired send help) I was gonna write more but god I literally can't right now I need a BREAK.

ׂׂૢ Percy Jackson

You had met the infamous 'Percy Jackson' in one of the many schools he had attended before finding his way at camp.

And you quickly grew close with him, a pair of social outcasts sitting in by themselves giggling about who knows what.

But unfortunately, for both of you, Percy was expelled for God knows what.

And then you find yourself in a casino, a strange casino making you forget, making your mind hazy and distracted by the lights and the smell of food.

It feels like a few days that you've stayed here, but when you're finally found and brought to camp, it’s been years.

It’s only the day after the summer solstice and camp is buzzing with excitement.

When you settle into your bed in the Hermes cabin is when you finally make out the name everyone's throwing out.

'Percy Jackson.'

But there’s no way- I mean- it can't be your Percy, right?

It is.

You catch his eye the very next day and decide to strike up a conversation.

Which ends up in a whole day talking about everything. Finding out he was a demigod, to being claimed by Poseidon. His first quest, missing you.

It spills out, finally relieved to have someone to tell.

He is less than amused when you tell him you don't know who your father is, Percy is determined to find him though. Anything to put your mind at ease.

"I promise."

After the battle of Manhattan, you are finally claimed by your dad - Hades, and move into your new Cabin with your half-brother Nico.

You also start dating Percy.

Which your brother is less than happy about.

Shrugging on your coat you smile, and you shoot one last look at the mirror. Nico stares at you, deadpanned as you fix your hair. "You're acting like you're getting married. It's a date!" He grumbles, getting ready to walk you to the cafe Percy wanted to meet with you at. And potentially punch his face in for taking his sibling away from him.

You had only known Nico for a few years, shorter than you've known Percy, but it's like you've known him your whole life, so it only made sense for him to be so overprotective over you. Your half-brother, well ever since what happened with Bianca, you felt more comfortable calling him your brother and you two stuck together. With the addition of Hazel, you were considered one of the most powerful trios most demigods have ever seen.

Nico snapped his fingers at your face, mumbling something in Italian. "Hello. Earth to [Name]. Anyone in there?" He huffs. "Come on. We have to go unless you'll be late."

You snap out of your train of thought and sit up. "Yea... let's go." You nod. Nico grabs your hand, looking annoyed as he drags you out of your shared cabin. “I still don’t get why out of everyone you pick, you go with Percy.” He grumbles and you raise an eyebrow. “I thought you and Percy were cool now?” You frown. Nico huffed. “We were. Until he took my sibling away- listen if he ever breaks your heart-” Nico grabs you by the shoulders, looking into your eyes. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

You sigh. Not this again.

Taglist: @thementallyunwellapollochild, @apollos-coolest-child, @too-queer-for-school, @chaotic-child-of-apollo, @vintage-wanderers

@solicitedfreakiness, @bows-and-olivia-rodrigo, @iam-sherlocked, @zahrawr-likes-red, @crystal-rayn

© Written By https-Kreideprinz. Do not copy, steal or translate without permission.

[aesterblaster]

Sleepin Demons

How Blue Lock characters wake up from nightmares/How you can comfort them [Gender neutral reader]

Tropes: Reverse Comfort, Fluff/Angst, Established Relationship, and general warnings for some gore and mentions of flashbacks along with implied sexual harassment

Characters: Almost All Of Them Lol

Songs: Insecure - Bren Joy // Coffee for Dinner - Orion Sun // Broken Clocks - SZA

The Silent Type + Actual Memories

It's the same one again. He's right back where he started. Unloved, unknown, left out of everything. The pangs of hunger run through him like a freight train as he desperately runs from room to room in his childhood home...But there's no nourishment. Someone calls his name but all he feels is fear at being recognized, he cowers as a figure rounds the corner and says his name again. "You think you could get away from me? Huh?" It could be anyone, a parent, someone he used to owe money to, an old abusive coach, all he knows is what comes next is going to hurt. "Are you fucking crying? You're so pathetic, soon everyone else will see that just like I always have!" The floor begins to sag and give way, everything creases in on itself. His brain feels like it's going to explode.

When he wakes up- his brain still feels as if it's too big for his skull, pushing against the edges like it's trying to find its way out. But he doesn't groan in pain, and he doesn't move. You're next to him after all, breathing softly. The moonlight grounds him, your hand against his side grounds him, he is safe now. The best thing you can do is stay asleep. He isn't ready to talk and admit that he's weak (or even worse...the fact that it is okay to be weak sometimes), not yet. For now he just snuggles against you and quietly brushes away any residual tears, thanking everything he believes in that he's here with you now.

Kaiser, Hiori, Naruhaya, Noa, Lorenzo

The Silent Type + More Abstract Fears

Slow. Everything was moving so fucking slow around him. His body was falling apart. Every sinew, every cell, every fucking atom of his being was breaking down and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Was this what he was truly destined for, dust to dust? Strangely enough, it didn't hurt, everything was calm. He was dying, so what? Every star burns out. And then, as sharp as a clap of thunder, the pain arrived. In his heart, not his body. Images of friends, family, trophies, all the things he hadn't done yet and you surged through his head. No, he couldn't die, not yet! He gripped his arm, but it was already turning to dust. Irrelevant and forgotten.

He's almost surprised when he wakes up, remembers that that would be impossible. Wants to scoff at himself for being afraid of something that could never happen. But the truth is, he is going to die someday, no matter how big of a star he is. He watches you twitch in your sleep, obviously disturbed by how he jerked awake, and curls his arms around you. He presses his face to the top of your head and breathes you in, silently begging you to drift back into a deeper sleep. He just needs to savor every moment with you and stop worrying, he tells himself.

Snuffy, Nagi, Ego, Aryu, Reo, Kuon, Chris, Jin

Wakes Up Screaming + Needs Reassurance

Why was this happening? You were in his arms, covered in blood, he was covered in blood; It was everywhere. The cheering from the fans turned into screaming, that's when he should've stopped and had the damn sense to look around. Instead, he kept running and dribbling down the field, confused why nobody was stopping him. He didn't see you falling from the stands until you were right in front of him. Your arm twisted first, then your neck, the rest of you followed. Why was this happening? "No, no, no, no...(Y/N). Get help! What the fuck are you all standing around for?!" He took off his jersey and tried to stop the bleeding but it wasn't enough, you were already going cold. He was powerless.

"I said get help-!!" he roared. "Oh..oh fuck." He suddenly wasn't holding your limp body anymore, he was in his- your room. The smell of blood disappeared. He glanced over and made eye contact with you. "Are you okay? You're shaking like a leaf!" "No..can you, can you just come here?" He crushes you in a bear hug as soon as you do. Even when he lets up, he opts to hold your hand instead. He makes you tell him about your day, because he got in late when you were already asleep. He tells you how much he loves you and recounts the day you two met just to stop his heart from bursting. "S-sorry I woke you up, I just- I needed that."

Ness, Niko, Aoshi, Sendo, Gagumaru, Igaguri, Kurona

Wakes Up Screaming + Needs Some Space

The first thing he notices is that he can't breathe. The second thing he notices is that he is in a hospital. "No, I don't think he will ever be able to speak or move again." a voice he doesn't recognize claims. Someone is choking him and he can't stop them. It's himself, rabid, foaming at the mouth. The doppelganger realizes he's been caught and tightens his grip. "That's right, that's what you fucking get for ignoring yourself. You don't even fucking eat enough and you want to be a star, huh? You keep betraying yourself." His neck is lifted from the cold pillow. "And betraying yourself!" It's slammed back down. He wants to tell him to stop, to say anything, but he can't.

He wakes up like he's been jolted back to life by electricity, doesn't even realize he's screaming. "Baby, baby you're okay! It's okay." He feels your hands around him and feels ashamed instead of relieved. What the fuck was that?! "Just go back to sleep, I'll be back." You open your mouth to argue but he shakes his head. "Please." This is nothing you can help him with, he needs to take care of himself and he knows it. Can't keep relying on others to pull him out. He takes a cold shower and comes back to bed hours later, slipping next to you. "I'm sorry I scared you." is all he says as his hands glide over your back. It's best if you just accept his apology, you'll never fully understand the war he's having with himself.

Chigiri, Kenyu, Kunigami, Kira, Sae, Barou

You Wake Him Up + It's Not Okay

Of course he knows this is a fucking dream, how could it not be? The overwhelming lights, the strange woman putting her hands on his chest. He knows exactly what this is about too. The paparazzi have gotten way too comfortable following both you and him around, they keep asking invasive questions and posting up outside of your house. The lack of privacy should be illegal. "You're famous now, you should like this you ungrateful piece of shit." a voice hisses in his ear as another pair of hands massages his shoulders. He tenses and struggles, but more hands appear, grabbing at his clothes. They tear pieces away from him with no remorse and something deep inside of him wishes it could end- Scratch that, every part of him wishes this would end, the violation, the rumors, the-

"Hey! Are you alright? I think..I think that you were having a nightmare." He gasps, so the feeling of hands on his chest were yours. Everything that was tensed relaxes, it was just you. That doesn't stop all his feelings from welling up along with tears. "Can you not touch me right now?" God, he wishes you wouldn't look at him like that. "Are you crying?" "No." He slips out of bed and checks the curtains, he can't shake the feeling of foreign hands on every part of him, not just his chest. Disgust curls and uncurls in his stomach. Why couldn't he just fight back on his own in his own damn head? "There's no one out there-" "How do you know!? Huh?" he demands, a whole lot louder than he meant to. "Fuck wait..I'm sorry. This week has just been a lot." You two end up having a long and needed talk that night.

Lavinho, Reo, Oliver, Rin, Raichi, Tabito

You Wake Him Up + It's Okay

He has been walking in circles for hours. Each loop, though, something changes. At first it was funny, (someone's head would balloon to an impossible size or a sign would read a curse word instead of an actual street name, for example) but now he was just tired. He couldn't sit down though or this burning pain would shoot through him...Just like in the real world, if he ever stopped shining, if he ever stopped moving forward, he'd get this feeling like he wasn't doing enough. Even on vacations there would be a gnawing sense that he was running from his rightful title. All he needed was the spotlight, even if it took so much fucking effort to get there. Practicing the same kicks over and over again, walking in circles, looking for what would excite him next-

"Please stop kicking me..." you groan and he wakes up instantly. Honestly, he didn't realize how terrifying his dream was until he's lucid. "Was I kicking you? Sorry... I just had the weirdest dream, it was like I kept walking in circles and I couldn't stop." "Maybe that's your brain telling you to take a break and stop treating my shin like a soccer ball." You two continue to make light of it and the more he talks about it with you, the more relaxed he gets. He's going to be just fine, especially with you by his side. "Mnh, good night." you finally whisper, cuddling up against him and tangling your leg with his in a final attempt to prevent any future attacks. "Good night." He watches you fall asleep with love in his eyes and wonders how a job obsessed weirdo like him managed to land someone as perfect as you.

Bachira, Loki, Isagi, Shidou, Nanase, Otoya, Zantetsu,

[thebiggerbear]

Close Enough

Summary: When you'd met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn't need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader; Russell Shaw x Female!FBI Special Agent!Reader

A/N: Sequel to So Close. I wanted to follow up and reveal what happened between Russell and the reader in the past but as I was writing it, this idea popped into my head in addition to that and I just had to see where it went. This was the end result lol. Hope it's okay.

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. I still have not seen Tracker (besides 1x12) because I just haven't had the time for a proper binge yet so if I got some things wrong about Colter and his experience in the show, I apologize.

A little disclaimer: I have never worked in law enforcement so I tried to piece together things I’ve seen and heard in true crime documentaries and podcasts alongside with movies/tv and books. I apologize for any inconsistencies, incorrect information, exaggerations, or complete fallacies. Basically, I made shit up.

Songs I listened to while writing: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye; Easy Loving by Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty; Sweet Dreams by Patsy Cline; Sounds of Someday by Radio Company

Warnings: sanctioned assassination; death; gun violence; graphic description of killing; violence/blood mention; mention of dead bodies; arson; implied sex; a trace amount of smut(ish?); language

Word Count: 16K+

Russell Taglist: @deangirl96 (I hope you don't mind me tagging you in this one; this is going to lead into the series that I mentioned on "So Close"); @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat

This work was recc'ed by @winchestergirl2 here.

Your phone started to buzz and you glanced at the screen, rolling your eyes and letting out a sigh before picking up. That wasn’t the normal reaction you would have to seeing Colter’s name pop up on your phone but ever since that mess back at the morgue yesterday, you had been hoping he wouldn’t contact you again. At least not until his brother went back to whatever hole he’d crawled out of. But now it looked like that had been a fool’s hope, on both counts.

“You what?” You hissed.

“We’re about to head to this home in the Blue Ridge Mountains and go in to get Doug,” he repeated.

“I’m sorry, an incredible amount of stupid just sounded in my ear. Can you repeat that?”

“Reenie got me the location and it’s solid intel.” He lowered his voice. “Look, I thought we should get law enforcement involved, alright? But there’s a…valid reason why Russ doesn’t want to call them that I can’t get into right now.”

“Whoops, more stupid. One more time?”

Colter groaned into the phone. “Come on, Y/N.”

“I’m serious, Colter. What the hell are either of you think—wait, scratch that. What the hell are you thinking? Going into a dangerous location like that without any backup? If Carlos Solano found your missing man in a safehouse, do you think he won’t be armed to the teeth? That he won’t have guards patrolling the compound that you’re walking right into? That he won’t see something like this coming? You guys are walking right into a shitstorm.” Christ, you loved the guy like a long-lost brother that you sometimes kept in touch with but if he were in front of you right now, you would’ve delivered one good smack to the back of his head to get him thinking straight. Colter may know his way around a gun, but he wasn’t someone who had formal training or combat experience like Russell did. He didn’t even have your training and you wouldn’t be going in there kamikaze-style like they were.

“That’s why I’m calling you and asking you to meet us there. I’m not exactly calling in law enforcement but we’ll have one more person to watch our backs and help us search for Doug. And who better than a special agent with the FBI?”

You sat back in your chair, shaking your head but thinking it over. This was beyond stupid and you shouldn’t be encouraging it. Russell’s involvement in this idiot plan didn’t surprise you; Colter’s did. He knew better. But you also knew that if he thought he had a chance to get the missing guy back home safely, he was going to take it, no matter the personal risk. If you didn’t go like he asked and anything happened to him or Russell, you’d never forgive yourself.

“Please?” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger, your decision made. “Send me the location and I’ll leave now to meet you.”

“Thank you.” You could hear the genuine gratitude in his tone. “I promise I’ll explain everything.”

“You better,” you nearly growled before disconnecting the call. You had a feeling you knew what he was going to tell you but for his sake, you hoped it wasn’t anything close to what you were thinking. But why else would Russell not want to call law enforcement for help in rescuing his friend who had been taken hostage by a foreign criminal? God, you hoped you were wrong.

You let out another loud sigh and before you could stand, your phone started ringing again. When you glanced at the screen, instead of a name, you saw “Blocked”. Not good.

You swiped green, holding it to your ear. “Y/L/N.”

“We have a problem,” said the voice on the other end, one you knew all too well, and it didn't sound happy. Shit.

You watched as Colter’s truck pulled up alongside your car. Colter got out and noticed you leaning against your trunk, arms crossed and a scowl in place. Russell came around from the other side. 

“Either of you boys see two suicidal idiots around here? Oh, wait.”

Russell’s jaw tightened. “It wasn’t my idea to call you.” He slid a glare over to his brother. 

“You’re lucky he did,” you snapped. “And since I’m here,” You got to your feet and turned to open your trunk, revealing a smorgasbord of gear and weapons. “We’re going to be doing this my way.” You held out a bulletproof vest to Colter first and he immediately started to strap it on. You held one out to Russell but he shook his head and didn’t take it. You glanced over to find he had already put his own on while you’d been grabbing one for his brother.

“Okay, look,” Russell started, his eyes scanning your makeshift armory and setting your teeth on edge. “This isn’t some FBI raid of some drug gang. This guy, Carlos Solano, he’s the real deal. He’s as dangerous as they come.”

You could feel your irritation turning into anger at the suggestion that you didn’t know how serious this was, and from him of all people. “And what am I? Some part-time mall security guard? A receptionist at the Academy? I’ve dealt with cartels before and they’re as dangerous as they come, too. So take that mansplaining and shove it right up where the sun doesn't shine.”

Russell took a step closer and laid a hand on your shoulder, his eyes burning into you. “Be pissed at me all you want but I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“But you’re okay with your brother getting hurt?” You briefly glanced in Colter’s direction. The younger man was watching you two carefully as he adjusted his vest one last time, wisely choosing to stay out of this one. 

Russell’s jaw clenched and he dropped his hand. “I’ve got him.”

You snorted and grabbed a gun, loading it quickly. “And I’ve got both of you. Now, we’ve got a bit of a hike so let’s cut the chit chat and get this over with, shall we?” You motioned for Colter to turn around and you inserted an extra handgun into the back of his belt. “We stick together as a unit. You hear me? No wandering off alone.”

Colter faced you again. “Yes, Mom,” he teased.

You swatted at his shoulder before checking the fit of his vest, nodding in approval.

“I have done this before, you know.”

You knew that already. You’d been there with him a couple of times for such instances. “Good for you,” you quipped. “But for kicks, how about you just humor me?”

He rolled his eyes and you smirked, turning to slam the trunk shut. You glanced up to find Russell watching you, his jaw still tight but his eyes containing a familiar light that you hadn’t seen in a while. “You good?”

“Yep.” And just like that, the light hollowed out, replaced by something far colder yet familiar, but not because you’d seen it in his gaze. You’d seen it often enough in your own when looking into the mirror. 

Pushing that thought away and shifting focus, you began to lead the way into the trees. “Alright, let’s do this and get Doug home in time for breakfast.” Colter flanked you on your right while Russell came up on your left. 

“Let’s rock and roll,” he agreed. 

It hadn’t been as bad as you’d been expecting, even after you’d received the intel Colter had referred to on the phone. One guard and three henchmen. You were annoyed and almost insulted that they had presented so little a challenge considering Carlos Solano was supposed to be this big bad criminal. But when you glanced over and saw Colter looking over Russell’s bloody jacket sleeve, you regretted the thought and gratitude immediately filled you that things hadn’t been worse. Russell had taken a bullet to the arm and thankfully, it had passed right through. 

Before you could shoot the bastard that shot him, Colter and Russell were on it. You watched in awe as the brothers moved as a single unit, almost as if they hadn’t been strained or missed a beat over the years. You supposed you should be happy that they were working together rather than still arguing over shit from a lifetime ago that had torn their family apart. For Colter’s sake at least.

Just then, you heard what sounded like a small plane outside. You hurried to a window and glanced outside, seeing a rapidly descending charter plane aiming for the tiny landing strip in the back of the property. Right on time.

You let the curtain fall and looked back at the guys. “Time to go.”

Doug’s face was ashen while Colter and Russell exchanged glances. Immediately, Russell picked up his gun and got ready to leave the room.

You rushed to stop him. “There will be none of that!” 

“You guys get Doug back to the truck. I’ll handle this.”

You practically jogged around him, planting yourself in his path. “Not happening.”

He glared down at you. “Y/N, I need to close this up. Move.”

You scowled right back. “You’ve been shot.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I have to finish this.”

You refused to budge. “You are not finishing anything. You’re getting the hell out of here, that’s what you’re doing.” 

“Y/N—”

“Guys, not the time,” Colter interceded. “He’s getting off that plane any second now, so what’s the plan?”

“She’s right, man,” Doug added, making both of your gazes snap over at him. “We really need to go.”

Voices suddenly sounded outside and you all glanced towards the window.

“Shit,” you muttered, quickly checking the chamber on your gun. As you were about to head out of the room, a hand grasped gently under your chin and forced your eyes to meet Russell’s. You could see the pleading there but also a stone-cold resignation. “Go with Colter and Doug,” he urged, giving you a brief but strained smile. “I need you to go.” You felt the rough skin of his thumb on your cheek as he moved it tenderly back and forth.

You knew what he was really telling you, what he planned to do, but hell if you weren’t more infuriated with him. You were so sick of the self-sacrificial bullshit. Hadn’t it cost you enough? Cost you both?

You pulled away from him, giving him a glare. “I don’t think you understand,” you said in a tone so cold you were pretty sure you could give the winds in Antarctica a run for their money. “I’m taking Solano in and I am not leaving until I have my suspect alive and in custody.” Russell looked pissed but you couldn’t care less. Better than him being dead in the next two minutes.

You turned to face Colter and Doug so they also got the message. “This case is under Federal jurisdiction now.” Colter glanced between you and his brother who you turned back to face. “I’m bringing him in. Got it?”

Russell went to say something but didn’t get the chance. The sounds of gunfire erupted right outside the room and you all had to duck for cover. 

You secured your handcuffs around Carlos Solano’s wrists that had been forced behind his back once you shoved him into the chair in the room, purposely tightening the metal bracelets past the point of comfort. The man reacted, cursing you out as you smirked up at him. 

Getting to your feet, you focused on the Shaws and Doug. Russell watched you with a glare while Colter waited for you to speak. Doug looked downright terrified. They had helped you to take down Solano’s men who had flown with him — all three of them. Russell aimed for Solano but at the last second, you got in his way and tackled the criminal to the ground. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy with you. Oh well. The feeling was mutual.

Colter placed his hands on his hips. “Alright, so how are we getting him back to the truck? Are we just going to drag him through the woods and hope we don’t come across anybody else he might have coming here? How are we going to work this?”

You slipped your gun back into your holster. “He doesn’t have anyone else coming here and the plan is that you three are going to head back to the truck and get out of here. I’m going to wait for a pickup,” You gestured towards the window with your thumb where the landing strip could be seen. “They’re nearby, waiting for my call, and they won’t take long to get here.” You shook your phone in your hand, indicating you were going to be using it.

Russell glanced around, as if expecting Agents to start popping up out of the woodworks at any second, before his eyes settled back on you. “So you called this in after all?”

You shrugged. “You were going into a fully armed compound to rescue a hostage, a two-man team against a crime lord on the FBI’s Most Wanted list? Yeah, of course, I did.”

He shook his head, chuckling and muttering a curse under his breath. “Of course you did,” he echoed, shooting a look over at his brother. 

Colter’s gaze flickered back to you. “We’ll wait with you until they get here.”

You offered up a small smile. “I appreciate it but not necessary. I’ve got this until they get here and I do the handover.”

“But—”

“Look, you should get Doug out of here.” You inclined your head in the direction of the man who was staring dazedly at the floor. “You need to get him checked out and your brother should get his arm looked at.”

“I’m fine,” Russell interjected.

You ignored him. “I’ll be alright, Colter. Believe it or not, you tend to get experience with this kind of thing once or twice before becoming a Special Agent.” You meant it as a light-hearted reassurance but you could tell that both Shaw brothers were going to be a hard sell. At least Colter’s reasoning was up front and above board.

“I’m sure but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone. Not with him.” Colter gestured towards Solano who spit in his direction.

“I won’t be for long. But you guys need to get out of here. The Bureau can’t know you were involved in this.” You shot him a meaningful look. “For multiple reasons.”

The younger man looked as if he was going to protest again when you held up a hand. “Colter. You may not like it but you need to do as I’m telling you. If the Bureau finds any of you here…” You could tell that he didn’t care so much about himself but you let your eyes briefly flick in Russell’s direction, who was busy glaring at the man you had bound to the chair. You saw Colter’s expression immediately change and you knew you had succeeded in convincing him to vacate the area as soon as possible.

He nodded his head in assent. “Okay.” He laid a hand on Doug’s shoulder, prompting the man to look up at him, and urged him to start moving to the door.

“Okay? What do you mean okay?” Russell huffed.

Colter held up a hand. “Russell—”

“No.” Russell turned a glare on you. “Not okay. He’s a loose end that needs tying up. He knows who we are now, he came after Doug, and the FBI isn’t going to do shit with him.” You narrowed your eyes in a glare but he continued. “That’s not an insult. It’s the truth and you know it. They’re going to what? Get him to talk, to roll over on someone else he has connections to who’s higher up their food chain, and he gets off scot free? No, not happening on my watch.” 

He took a step forward and so did you, in front of Solano. You drew your gun but held it loosely across your waist, your finger on the trigger, ready and waiting should you need it. Russell stopped cold, his eyes flickering back and forth between you and the weapon in your hand. Colter and Doug were frozen, watching the scene unfold.

“I told you,” you said in the most deadly serious tone you could muster. “I’m taking him in, alive. If you have a problem with that, well…” You flipped the safety on the gun off. “You’ll have to go through me. And I promise you, my aim is a hell of a lot more accurate at close range than it’s ever been.”

Russell didn’t blink, he just kept scowling at you.

“Russ?” Colter called.

“Don’t make me kill you in front of him, Russell,” you murmured so only the two of you would hear. You were serious as a heart attack. No matter how you had felt about him once upon a time, this was important enough for you to make good on your threat if you needed to.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would and it will be justified by the higher ups as protection of a high-valued target before your body goes cold.” You hated saying the words but it was nothing but the truth that you spoke. You hoped he heard the message underneath your words: walk away, this isn’t worth dying over. “And he’ll be further traumatized,” you inclined your head in Colter’s direction. “Losing his brother right in front of him, just like he lost his dad.” You knew that was a severely low blow but he also needed to hear you. 

As expected, Russell’s jaw clenched and you saw a twitch in the good arm he had, the one that was holding his gun. “Don’t be stupid and do that to him,” you warned. “Walk away.”

That cold look was back in his eyes again. You mentally prepared yourself for what was about to go down. You had hoped he wouldn’t force your hand but then again, Russell Shaw had always been the epitome of stubborn, usually to his own detriment…and yours.   

“Russell?” Colter tried again.

“Russ, come on, man. Let it be for now,” Doug added in, trying to help. “And let’s regroup.”

This time, Russell appeared to hear them both, his gaze breaking from yours momentarily, flickering over Solano behind you, who was laughing and smirking in the former’s direction, clearly enjoying the standoff over him. 

Russell’s eyes met yours again but this time, there was nothing familiar about the green you used to stare into when he’d sway with you on the dance floor to a slow song playing overhead or when you’d both wear matching sated grins and laugh, a pleasant exhaustion overtaking you as he pulled you into his arms in a motel bed. It was almost like staring into a dark void and you couldn’t help but wonder how often that void showed up during war or if the war created it — the old chicken or the egg question. Either way, you knew you’d succeeded in convincing him to leave, but you’d also have to watch yourself. There was no warmth left in those jade-colored orbs when they focused on you. You’d done your work well; you’d crossed a line that you could never go back from.

“Alright,” he capitulated, loud enough that the two men near the doorway heard him. He relaxed his arm and slipped his gun into a pocket in his vest. His face lightened a little and a strained smile worked its way across his face. He glanced back at his brother. “She’s right. We should get Doug out of here.” He turned back to face you, his smile fading. “She’s got this.” He then glanced in Solano’s direction, smirking right back. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised, giving him a finger gun and winking, before his expression became stone once more and he walked away, glaring at you as he did.

You lifted your chin, not reacting in the slightest, until Solano shouted out, “You’ll be seeing me? No, puta, I’ll be seeing you. You’ll never see it coming, you hear me? You’ll never see it co—” You spun a few degrees and pistol-whipped him, causing the jackass to cry out in pain before you turned back to face Doug and the two most important men in your life. “Get going,” you growled out, lifting your phone with your other hand as a subtle threat.

Colter gave you a nod, the concern still there in his dark brown gaze as he led Doug out the door. Russell’s eyes never left you, even when he walked out the door a moment later, following his little brother’s lead. You never looked away even when he was past the threshold. 

You ignored Solano’s yelling threats and kept your eyes on the spot you had last seen the Shaws disappear through a few minutes longer than needed, tense and ready in case Russell decided to double back. Though you highly doubted he’d come at you from the same angle. A part of you was making sure you stayed prepared in case there was an ambush, yes, but another part of you knew your gaze was lingering on the spot because you knew things had now drastically changed between you and Russell forever. He would never forgive your threats and you would never forgive yourself for having to make them. Though that remorse was more related to Colter than his brother. Regardless, when it came to the Shaws now, you were fucked. Not even Dory would want to hear from you, not that she had all that much before, but now it was definitely a no go. And that saddened you tremendously.

Hearing more of Solano’s threats, you recentered your focus on the task at hand and prepared to wait, giving him one more pistol whip for good measure, before you settled in and kept both eyes and ears open for any possible ambush that might come your way before you could finish up here. 

You leaned against the workstation next to the chair, waiting, gun still in hand and your eyes focused on it. You had waited a certain amount of time to allow the boys to get out of the area.

“The soldado was right, you know. They’re not going to hold me,” Solano bragged.

You briefly closed your eyes in annoyance. He had been talking ever since you were left alone with him. He had offered you money to let him go, offered you riches and power that you knew for a fact he had no business offering. He even had the nerve to propose making you one of his new lieutenants, citing your fighting skills and gun handling that he’d briefly witnessed. He knew you would be able to protect him because you had from the asesinos who had killed his brother. He then changed tactics, threatening you, your loved ones, the men who just left…now, he was boasting about how he would walk free and whatever charges were thrown at him wouldn’t stick. You just wished he would shut the hell up already. Needless to say, it had been a long twenty minutes. You now understood why his brother had been the businessman and he was only the muscle willing to do the dirty work. His bargaining skills were for shit, not that it mattered in the scheme of things. No deals were being made today.

“I offer them a little bit of money and they’ll just make the case go away. Just like that.”

You checked your watch. Twenty two minutes now. That was good enough. You slowly got to your feet and moved past him to look out the window. You had purposely moved his chair out of the sight of the glass, in case Russell got any ideas.

“That’s how it works here in America. Everybody knows that. If the criminals have money and power, they don’t stay in jail.”

You ignored him, glancing around to see if there was any movement outside. You didn’t see any. 

“They won’t keep me locked up. They weren’t able to in my home country. What makes you think they’ll be able to here? Where corruption is ripe and anyone can be bought? And then I’ll be coming for you and for your friends. You will wish for death long before I am through with you.”

You made your way to another window, lifting the curtain and looking around. Still nothing.

“There’s no point in bringing me to jail. It will never hold me.”

You lowered the curtain and squared your shoulders, turning to face his direction. You focused on him, staring right into his eyes. “You know, I think you’re right.”

Solano seemed pleasantly surprised for a moment, thinking you were finally stupid enough to take one of his offers, before his eyes narrowed with realization. “No, wait—”

You quickly lifted your gun and squeezed off a round. His head snapped back from the force and the space behind him was spattered with red among other things. One glance confirmed your aim had been accurate; he was dead. Right through the eye. What you’d said to Russell earlier hadn’t been an exaggeration; you were much more accurate at close range than you’d ever been.

You slipped a pair of gloves on that you pulled from your pants pocket and immediately started unzipping the small compartments on the side of your vest where you usually kept extra ammo in a raid, pulling out small white bottles that weren’t sporting any labels. You began to squirt the liquid from inside them all around the room, dousing Solano’s body with a healthy amount.

You continued into the house, having quite a few bottles of lighter fluid to empty out in specific areas that would help achieve your goal. Arson wasn’t your preferred route but it did get rid of pesky little things like hair and DNA, and what it didn’t, it contaminated which would make it harder for not only law enforcement but the justice system to work with. Though you weren’t too worried about either looking at this particular house fire too closely.

You didn’t bother collecting any bullet casings, knowing that your gun and the ones you’d given Colter to use would be untraceable even if they somehow managed to get a hold of any of the weapons (which they wouldn’t). And Russell’s gun…you figured he had that handled. The only thing you did collect were your handcuffs. 

You also didn’t bother staging anything for the scene. There was already enough evidence that pointed to the theory that Solano’s own men had turned on him and a gunfight ensued, resulting in the multiple dead bodies. While an arson specialist would most likely be able to tell that an accelerant had been used, there was no way for them to confirm just who had been present for this battle and who had gotten away. Satellite imagery would be shoddy at best due to the foliage cover (and eventual smoke) but still, you planned to set the fire and make your getaway out the back, crossing over the landing strip so if they went back to look for any heat signatures after the fire started, it would be one person leaving the scene alive, the person they would assume had started the blaze. There were no nearby neighbors to immediately call first responders but that didn’t mean smoke wouldn’t be seen from the sky from miles away or that a fiery orange blaze in the distance wouldn’t be noticed by residents of another vacation home or cars traveling the backroads in the area. Since you planned to go into the deep woods and take the long roundabout route back to your car, you weren’t too worried about your path being followed.

Once you had completed all of your tasks, you used the fireplace to help, moving the grate out of the way, starting a fire, and then knocking a fiery log onto the wooden flooring. You used a lighter to set flammable materials that you could find to add to the flames. Only when the room was nearly engulfed did you finally slip a beanie from your pocket, cover your head fully, and make your way out of the house. Once at the landing strip, you ducked under the plane, making sure you couldn’t be seen from above. 

You watched as the flames consumed the house. Once the smoke was sufficient, flames were ragings out of the windows, and the sound of breaking glass could be heard, you knew it was time for you to vacate the vicinity before the sirens started up. It was fortunate that most people were asleep at this hour but the sun was due to come up not too long from now and you had a long trek ahead of you, so you needed to get moving.

You kept your head down and made your way into the woods surrounding the property line. 

The sun was breaching the horizon and quickly warming the sky by the time you made it back to your car. You were relieved that Colter’s truck was gone and you needed to quickly make tracks as well. Sirens had started up an hour ago and you needed to get the hell out of Dodge before the cops were all over these roads. You tossed your weapons and vest into the trunk and got in the car. You slipped your beanie off your head, tossing it onto the seat next to you, and started the engine.

Just as you had expected, cops were everywhere but thankfully, you had timed it just right and gotten out before they could block all of the mountain roads. Once you were back in town a few hours later and a certain distance away, you pulled a phone out of your glove compartment you kept there for emergencies and turned it on. You pressed a button and it immediately dialed the number programmed — the only number you had saved on this device. 

It rang once before the same voice from yesterday picked up. “Is it done?”

“We’re clear,” you confirmed. “It’s been handled.”

“Shaw?”

Your jaw clenched. You knew that despite how you and Russell had left things earlier, you would do whatever it took to keep him breathing. “He’s a soldier. He follows orders.”

“He wasn’t so willing to follow orders in this situation.”

“You know what they’re taught. Leave no man behind. He got his man so he’ll be fine. Things can go back to how they were. He’s not going to be an issue and he’s clean, just like you wanted.”

And then you were asked the one question you didn’t want to hear. “And the brother? What’s your assessment?”

The knuckles of your free hand gripped your steering wheel so tightly that you could see how white your skin turned from the pressure. “Non-issue. He has no interest in you.”

“He seemed interested yesterday.”

You forced yourself to remain calm and nonchalant. “He’s paid to be nosy when someone goes missing so he can get them found. He found who he was looking for, he was able to keep the promise to the guy’s wife — it’s over for him. The case is closed, it’s as simple as that for him. He’s no threat.”

You waited to hear a response, holding your breath and your hand gripping the wheel even tighter, your body tensed. This would be what decided your fate. Either you would be allowed to go on as before or you’d be going on a mission up against one of the top private security contractor firms in the world which wouldn’t end well for you. But you’d take out whoever you could with you before you were killed.

Another moment passed before the voice replied, “Understood.”

Your body relaxed slightly and your shoulders sunk in relief. Colter was safe. Russell was safe…for now. And you didn’t have to go all Rambo Kamikaze on anyone. Win-win all around.

“I’ll let the higher ups know the situation has been contained. Good work. We’ll be in touch.”

Without waiting for a response from you, the call disconnected. You quickly shut the phone off and tossed it back into its original spot. You let out a deep breath and the exhaustion from the past twelve hours immediately overtook your body. Deciding that returning to your place was not an option for you right now, you headed to another part of town, parked your car on the street some blocks away to the nearest motel, and using a baseball cap to cover your hair along with sunglasses, you hoofed it and then booked a room, paying cash and using a fake name. Once you set up everything you needed to in your quarters, you slipped onto the mattress and got some much needed rest, keeping your gun under your pillow within reach should you need it.

You pulled up to Colter’s trailer, watching as he stepped outside to greet you. You put your car in park, took a deep breath, and got out. You offered Colter a small smile. “Hey.”

He returned it. “Hey.”

You had been surprised when Colter called you a few days later to let you know he was still in town for a bit and invited you to drop by for a beer. Not surprised that he was still around (you already knew that) but surprised that he even wanted to speak to you. Perhaps Russell hadn’t told him what you’d threatened back in the mountains.

You took the beer he offered to you and followed him over to the firepit, taking a seat on one of the coolers. He sat nearby and held up his bottle in a toast. You mirrored him and then you both took a sip. You nearly sighed in satisfaction as the carbonated beverage slid down your throat. You enjoyed the taste and checked the label. “Mmm, home brew…not bad. You got something you want to tell me? Planning on opening some sort of brewery outfit anytime soon?” You were teasing but if Colter really was thinking of doing something else — anything else — instead of his current job, you’d fully support it.

“Not me.” Disappointment flared in your chest, your hope dashed. “Russ was actually the one who made it. I had some left over from the other night.”

The beer suddenly began to sour in your stomach. Well, you supposed it was good that Russell was starting to think of the future, the most important part of that being that there would be one. It still burned a bit, though.

You decided to change the subject so you wouldn’t have to think about that right then. “So, your guy is back home safe?”

Colter nodded. “Dropped him off myself.” Something else you already knew but you had to keep up appearances.

You nodded, biting your lip and staring into the flames. “And your brother?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Colter’s jaw tense for a moment. “Gone.” Though you had an idea that was the case, Colter’s confirmation still stung, like someone poking a finger into an old wound after ripping the scar tissue away. But what else had you expected? This was Russell Shaw you two were talking about after all.

You snorted and shook your head, taking another swig of beer. “Of course he is.”

He turned to look at you. “You know, you never told me what happened between you two.”

You shrugged a shoulder. “Not worth going into, trust me.”

Thankfully, Colter left it alone and he rolled with it when you brought up a different topic instead. 

“So, how much longer are you here for?”

“Teddi and Velma are working on that right now actually. Hopefully, something pops up soon.” He took another sip of beer, turning to gaze at the flames as well.

“It will.” Fortunately for him and sadly for others, someone would always go missing.

“How about you? Are they sending you somewhere for a new case or are they going to let you stay local for a bit? If it’s the latter, maybe you could get a dog for that place of yours?”

You smirked and ran your thumb down the smooth glass of the brown bottle in your hand. Colter kept teasing you about the residence you maintained nearby considering you were never really there most of the time. He’d then extoll the virtues of living on the open road, not having roots put down anywhere that would grow into expectations, and the unrestrained thrill of it all. The first time you’d had that conversation, you knew then that the desire to keep moving and stay unburdened must be a male Shaw thing. Dory seemed happy where she had settled and you — you wanted a home base. Some place you could come back to where you were still able to connect to yourself again, no matter how lost at sea you might be at times, no matter how much you felt as if every single piece of you was floating away on the wind until only a monster was left standing there, staring back at you in the rearview mirror of your car.

“Right now, I have a few things I need to close up,” you lied. “Then I’ll probably get sent out in the field again to work some cases.” You hated lying to him but you had no choice. His safety came first. As much as you had hated Russell for a time, you could now appreciate the difficult position he was in. Though, he had chosen to be put there, and now, so had you. 

You watched Colter nod, accepting your answer. “I still think a German Shepherd would be a great choice for you,” he teased. “You know, a big dog, trainable, would make a good guard dog. You could take it with you, chase suspects down together...”

“Oh yeah, I could see it now,” you played along. “I’d have to sneak him into hotel rooms, make sure he doesn’t take a shit on the rug… Then we’d go on the job and I could introduce him to everyone, ‘I’m Special Agent Y/L/N but you can call me Turner and this is my partner Hooch.’”

Colter winced. “No, no. You have to give him a name that will strike fear into the hearts of the criminals you track down. Like General or Commando or Killer. Killer! Now that’s a good name. That will make anyone think twice about running from a dog with that name.”

This time, you were the one who winced though you hid it well. Instead, you forced out a laugh. “I am not getting a huge dog named Killer and bringing him to work with me.”

He grinned. “That’s a shame. I would have loved to have seen the look on your face when the dog would sit in the front seat.”

“There would be no front seat sitting. Back seat only.”

“Like a criminal who he just helped you to arrest? That’s cold, even for you.”

“I am so glad that you have this imaginary dog of mine’s back.”

He snickered and took a drink, looking back at the flames. Your smile slowly faded as you did the same. You both sat there, drinking in a companionable silence for a bit.

Eventually, your eyes flickered over towards him. “I need you to promise me something.”

His brows drew together questioningly when he met your gaze.

“Horizon…” You noticed him tense slightly at the mention. “No more.” When you saw the confusion in his expression, you elaborated. “No more digging, no more Reenie asking her contacts about them, no more mention of them period. You got the guy you were looking for. Now, put it to bed and forget that you ever knew they existed.”

His confusion increased. “I did put it to bed the second I dropped Doug off at his door and saw him hug his wife.”

You gave him a look. “Col, I need you to promise me,” you softly entreated. 

His brows arched slightly at the use of the nickname; you didn’t use it often and if you were, then he knew you meant business. He also knew what you were telling him without explicitly saying it; Horizon was dangerous and they were better left alone. It would be better for him to get a case of sudden amnesia about anything related to the organization.

He watched you for a moment before giving you a nod. “As long as nobody else goes missing like Doug did and as long as Russ is okay, they’re forgotten.”

You knew that was the best you were going to get from him and you leaned forward slightly. “And if anything happens to Russ, I’ll be right there with you, knocking on their front door,” you promised. And you would be; no question about it.

The corner of his lips tipped up in the beginning of a smile and after a moment, you couldn’t help but return it. 

The coffee shop you were in was decently quiet considering it was around 8:55 in the morning and most people were making their last minute dashes for caffeine before the working day began. You sat near the window, facing the entrance so you could keep an eye on who came in and out. You had ordered your usual, a soy vanilla latte, and you carefully sipped at the hot liquid. You scanned your phone for the day’s headlines, looking for any updates on the mysterious house fire that started in the mountains a few nights ago.  

You knew you wouldn’t find any and sure enough, you didn’t. Someone was working overtime to squash the case from up above, just like you knew they would. You also knew that some local law enforcement officials didn’t buy the criminals-turning-on-their-boss theory and they actually thought the scene looked like a professional hit. Exactly what you figured would happen when accelerants had been found to be used at the scene. As much as you were sure the cops were looking to sink their teeth into something exciting to happen in those parts in however long, the bottom line was the case would get dropped and no one was going to care what happened to a violent criminal like Carlos Solano. The FBI would actually be relieved to remove one more name from their list, one more file from their desks. One more dangerous bad guy removed from the world that threatened American citizens as well as national security. No one was going to miss the murderous bastard.

You powered down your screen and placed your phone on the table, turning to glance out the window. That was when you saw him. Well, the reflection of him. 

You watched as he walked towards you, still dressed in a ratty pair of jeans and old boots, wearing another t-shirt with a different musician on it while sporting an open button-up over it, and donning that old military style jacket. His eyes were intent on you and you had to wonder how he had gotten in without you seeing him. The answer was in the reflection of someone walking past him to get to the bathrooms in the rear of the cafe. There was no exit located near there, you knew that because this was a local spot of yours, so how did he… Shit.

Even though you watched him in the glass and he watched you back, you didn’t give anything away to alert him that you knew he was there. You started calculating in your head how many people stood in between you and the front door (your only exit at this point), how much force you would have to use to catch him off guard and knock him to the ground so you could make your escape, and how fast you would have to run to your car. You even had a moment to debate drawing your gun and your badge, and making a scene to get yourself out of this mess. But all of that proved to be for naught when he came to a stop near you and announced his presence by asking, “This seat taken?”

You slowly turned to face him, arching an inquisitive brow, but you eventually shook your head. His lips twitched into the beginning of a smirk and he took the seat across from you. His eyes were a lot lighter than they were the other day as they took you in. “Looking good, Y/N. Like always.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Really?”

He shrugged and reached for your coffee, taking the lid off. You hated it when he did this, the whole sharing coffee thing; now you would need to order another one…well, depending on how this impromptu meeting went. “What, I can’t tell my girl that she looks good?” He took a sip and made a face. “How do you still drink this crap? It tastes like foam mixed with shit.”

“And free garbage coffee from the lobby of the latest scuzzy motel you’re staying in doesn’t?”

“Hey, don’t knock it. They have real nice machines now and it tastes the way coffee should. Not like this bullshit.”

You watched as he grabbed a spoon, added some sugar, and began stirring the crap out of what had once been your perfect latte. You thought over what he’d said before. “I’m not your girl, Russell.” His eyes met yours. “I haven’t been for some time now.”

He finished stirring and removed the spoon, lifting the glass to take a sip. “You’ll always be my girl.”

You snorted and lifted a finger in the air to signal to the barista that you wanted another coffee. The kid gave you a nod and turned to make it. “Is that what you tell yourself when you’re hooking up with cheerleaders-turned-dental-hygienists in hot tubs?”

Russell pressed his lips together and looked appropriately chastised, not even bothering to deny it. “Colter told you. I should’ve known he would mention it. You two were always close like that.”   

You didn’t confirm or deny that. There was no point in mentioning that Colter hadn’t been the one to tell you, not intentionally anyway. Instead, you leaned forward in your chair. “What do you want, Russell?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” You snapped. You had been on edge, thinking he was here to either kill you or threaten you. Then him hitting on you and making that asinine and incredibly presumptuous statement bothered you more than you cared to admit. Not to mention he pissed you off when he took the latte you’d decided to treat yourself with after a few difficult days (without even asking you might add), knowing how that had irked you anytime he did it when you were dating. It was like the man was begging you to put a foot in his ass.

Russell glanced around briefly before removing something from inside his jacket. It was a folded up newspaper and he slapped it down in front of you. A picture of a burnt out structure stared back up at you with the headline reading above it “House Fire Claims 8 Lives, Sheriff Confirms Arson”. Your eyes met his and in that moment, you knew that he knew.

You refused to give it away just like that, though. If he wanted the truth, he’d have to work for it. He wasn’t getting anything for free, not from you, not anymore. You gave him a smirk. “Is this your way of telling me that you’ve finally learned to read, Russ? I’m impressed, really.”

Instead of being insulted, his eyes widened slightly. “You called me Russ.”

You sat back in your chair, pushing the newspaper away from you and prying eyes, waiting for the barista making his way over to you to deliver your coffee. “Slip of the tongue. Won’t happen again.” You smiled at the young kid in thanks when he placed the drink down in front of you and promptly slid your glass out of Russell’s reach. He saw it and immediately worked to smother a smile as the kid walked away.

“So, you got any more interesting tricks I should know about?”

Without any preamble, Russell said, “Solano’s dead,” the exact second you took a sip of your new coffee. If he was expecting any reaction to the news, he was in for disappointment when you didn’t give it.

“Yes, I heard. Quite unfortunate.”

“They’re all dead actually. Even that guard we subdued in the beginning.”

You remembered; you’d been the one to kill him after all. Once Russell and Colter got to their feet after knocking the guard out and started moving towards the house, you quietly pulled a knife and slipped the blade into the side of the man’s head. You’d cut his zip ties, removed them and the gag, and then caught up to the guys — all within seconds. You had made sure to move the guard’s body inside later, right before you’d started the fire, trying your best to get rid of any drag marks you’d left on the ground. You were there to clean up the mess, not leave witnesses, even if they had never seen any of you coming.

You nodded. “I know, I heard that, too. Is there a point here somewhere or can I get back to the nice morning I was having before you showed up to steal my coffee?”

Russell was the one to lean forward this time, lowering his voice even further. “You said you were calling in the FBI for a pickup. Who did you really call?”

You could tell he was trying to give you an out, an opportunity to explain that it wasn’t what he was thinking, and maybe you should have lied your ass off…but you no longer wanted to. You knew Russell; he wasn’t going to let this go until he had an answer that he deemed to be the truth. And while you could give him a distorted version of that truth that didn’t land at your feet, a petty part of you wanted him to know. 

“Y/N?” He pressed. “Who did you call?”

You sat back in your chair, considering him for a moment before you spoke. “No one.”

Russell dropped his head, briefly closing his eyes. “Fuck, I was afraid of that.” He glanced up at you, his eyes full of a sadness you hadn’t seen in some time. You knew he wouldn’t be happy if he ever found out the truth, but not to this extent. “I told you to walk away and let me handle it.” His voice was softer, not as gruff as before. You realized then that you’d accomplished what that vindictive side of you had wanted all along, ever since the day he walked away; you’d hurt him and caused him pain. Pain that you could see clear as day lining his face right now. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. And quite frankly, that pain caught you off guard. After all of this time, this is what it took for him to feel even a sliver of what you’d felt back in the day when he’d left you bleeding, your heart torn from your chest and sitting in pieces on the floor he’d just casually walked over to get to the door?

Not really sure what to make of this development or the emotions it caused to rise up within you, you went into pure professional mode and forged ahead. “The three of you didn’t need to be involved.” You could see the pain getting worse and it made you uncomfortable, something prodding at your chest and itching at your skin that you really didn’t care for. “Besides, last I checked, I don’t take orders from you, Shaw.” You threw his last name in there as a last resort to put even more distance there between you.

His eyes flicked from the newspaper to you. “Who do you take orders from then? Something tells me this wasn’t FBI-sanctioned.” 

You surreptitiously glanced around you before leaning in, lowering your voice.“You know, going to your handler’s house during her kid’s birthday party was a pretty bad idea. Ann really didn’t like that.” You watched as Russell’s eyes widened slightly before his face fell, a dreaded realization filling his expression. He had never mentioned her name to you before and he knew Colter hadn’t mentioned her to you either when giving you the rundown of what they knew before meeting up in the mountains. You sat back, tensed and ready for whatever came next. 

His jaw clenched. “How long?” He ground out.

“Long enough.”

You kept your gaze trained on his and you did your best to read him, trying to assess what he might do, now that the pain was all but absent since your revelation. Would he tell you to watch your back and leave? Would he tell you to stay away from Colter for good? It was hard to gauge from the way he was staring at you right then. You could see anger bubbling underneath but you also caught something coming to the surface that strangely looked like remorse. Considering you hadn’t seen that emotion on him too often, it was tough to be sure in your identification of it. And then something flickered in his eyes right then, something so fast you almost didn’t catch it, but you did. Fear that quickly dissolved into determination. You braced yourself for whatever he would say or do; this was it. This would determine your next steps.

Instead, he surprised you once more. He snatched the newspaper up and slipped it back into his jacket, before reaching over and taking your hand in his. “I’m getting you out of here. Now. Let’s go.”

Stunned, you wordlessly got to your feet but then it hit you, you were about to go somewhere alone with him. Not that you couldn’t handle yourself but he had still been Special Ops once upon a time and he killed people for a living…just like you. 

“Russell, I’m not—”

“Yes, you are,” he growled. “I’m getting you as far from here as I can. I’ve got a buddy who has a cabin in upstate New York. It’s got months-long supplies, power and running water, and a small armory. You’ll be safe there until this whole thing blows over.”

You yanked your hand out of his and grabbed your phone and jacket. “I’m plenty safe here. I have no reason to run, so I’m staying. You want to leave? Go right ahead. We both know it’s what you’re best at.” The sadness was back but you looked away from it. Yes, that had been another low blow but it was also well-deserved. You moved past him, refusing to look over your shoulder even once. There was no way he’d do anything out in the open; he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially now.

You slipped into your car, not surprised in the least when Russell got in on the other side before you could even think about locking the doors.

“What are you doing?” You hissed.

“What’s it look like?” He clicked his seatbelt. “I’m staying with you until you agree to my plan to get you someplace safe or you explain how the hell this even happened.” He pulled out the newspaper, holding it up for a moment before tossing it to the floor. You could see the determined set to his jaw and you knew he meant it. 

“Russell,” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I do not have time for this.” You blew out a quiet breath and turned to face him. “Now I suggest you get out of my car or—”

“You’ll shoot me?” He shot you a look. Yeah, he was still pissed about the threats you’d made a few nights ago. You supposed you couldn’t blame him but you did what you had to do to get him and his brother out of there. You had regrets but they were slim. “We both know you won’t.”

That infuriated you and had you seething. “You think I won’t?”

“I know you won’t. Just like I know that no matter how much you tell yourself that you hate me, you really don’t.”

You scoffed out a laugh in disbelief. “Wow, you really are incredibly delusi—”

“I also know you would never do that to my brother.” Your glare in his direction intensified. “You’ve always been protective of him. Just like me.” A glimmer of a fond smile worked its way onto his bearded face.

Your jaw clenched and you looked away from him, back towards the coffee shop you had just stormed out of, your grip tightening on your steering wheel. It was true; you’d always looked out for Colter in some way ever since you’d gotten to know him through Russell. 

While the relationship between the brothers had been strained for years, it didn’t mean that there hadn’t been a couple of times where Dory hadn’t attempted to get them into a room together to try to fix what had been broken. In one such instance, Russell had brought you along, after shocking you by asking you two nights before to accompany him. The man had spent over a decade in the military, worked Special Ops, and there wasn’t much he was afraid of, if at all. But when you were wrapping leftovers to throw into the fridge and he’d laid a hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him, you’d never seen Russell Shaw look so worried, vulnerable, and damn near terrified in all of the time you’d known him. You’d even felt it when he’d enfolded you into his arms and whispered into your ear that he was due to meet up with his family in the next two days, asking you to come with him. How could you say no to that? You knew of the family’s tragic history and the simmering tensions that still existed between the Shaws who were still alive; Russell had told you everything, even about how his mom had hung him out to dry (though he made excuses for her which made you grind your teeth). And for him to ask you to go, to meet his family, you knew then just how important this was for him. So you went, squeezed his hand in silent support whenever he appeared to need it, and did your best to provide distraction whenever things got a little too tense or heated. Dory didn’t care for you too much; you got the distinct feeling that she wasn’t happy Russell had brought an interloper to a family-only discussion. But Colter…Colter you got along with from the start. 

Colter seemed happier to talk to you than his brother and you could tell that bothered Russell tremendously. He had told you once how much he missed his siblings at times, especially his little brother, and he would never stop hoping to patch things up with them one day. Sure enough, he tried to interject into the conversation a few times with you helping as much as you could, but each time Colter shut him down. It was blatantly obvious that the younger man wanted nothing to do with him and there was definitely some resentment still floating around after years of estrangement. Needless to say, things hadn’t ended well at that dinner and you weren’t surprised that Russell drank a little heavier that night. Nor were you surprised when he grasped at you in the hotel room and pulled you to him, his lips claiming yours as he began unbuttoning your shirt and moving you towards the bed. You knew he was hurting and you let him take solace in you as you whispered loving assurances in his ear. 

After that, Colter surprised you by calling you a couple of months down the road, apologetically asking for your help on a case he had picked up. Though he didn’t know you well, he was in a rough spot and needed a helping hand, particularly a Federal one. You saw the opportunity for what it had been, an opening of a possible door between him and Russell, so you took it. You helped Colter as much as you could without risking being read the riot act by your superior, and you two got to know each other better as you worked together. It happened a few more times and you had even called Colter in to assist on a case of your own that you had snagged. You had gone for beers afterwards each time and you’d tried your best to talk to him, to convince him to give Russell a chance. He hadn’t been interested, was resistant to it even, but he liked you and he was starting to trust you a little more each time. He’d even reluctantly admitted once that he was glad his brother had you, immediately following up with “He better be treating you right, though.” You had simply smiled and assured him that Russell very much was. 

You didn’t mention the odd absences a few times a month (sometimes with little to no warning), the radio silence during these stints, and the avoidance of any penetrating questions upon his return — all of it that had become conditional to your relationship by that point. And Russell certainly wasn’t happy at all to find out you’d been working with Colter once you told him. You both had arguments before like any common couple but nothing like this. You had never seen him so angry and he’d laughed when you told him he had no need to be jealous if that was what he was worried about, you loved him and you were trying to make things better for the both of them, to pave the way for him to be able to make peace with his brother. 

“You just don’t get it.” 

He had shaken his head and glared over at you before he walked out of the room, away from you. From then on, Russell became even more secretive, distant, and cold as ice. Gone was the easy affection, heart to heart talks, and playful banter between you. Gone were the tender touches, gentle kisses, and passionate sex. The love of your life turned into a stranger right before your very eyes. It hadn’t been too long after that when he’d left for good, leaving your heart shattered on your hardwood floor. As time passed, you were surprised he hadn’t just packed up and left in the middle of the night while you were sleeping, without a single word to you and completely ghosting you, since he had been intent on leaving you in his past. It might have been kinder actually compared to the things he’d said to you as a final goodbye before walking away for good. 

So whenever you had dared to think back on it over the last few years, you’d always figured the fight over Colter had contributed in some way to the rapid unraveling of your relationship. Well, that fight and…other things.

“Let’s go somewhere we can talk,” Russell urged, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Come on, Y/N, you owe me that at least.”

You turned the most menacing glare on him that was possible for you to give someone. “I don’t owe you shit,” you bit out. How dare he say that? To you of all people?  

His jaw tightened and after a moment, he agreed with a soft nod. “Fair enough.” 

You broke away from his intent gaze a minute later, your decision made as you turned the car on. “You know what? If this will get you out of my life for good this time, then fine. Let’s talk. And don’t be so sure I won’t shoot you afterwards should you continue to piss me off. You’re right, I do care about Colter,” You scowled over at him. “But not that deeply.”

Russell matched your scowl but wisely kept quiet as you backed your car out of your parking spot. You felt an immediate surge of guilt for having said that about his younger brother. You did care about Colter, more than you would ever admit to anyone, even your ex. There was nothing remotely romantic between you two; there never had been and there never would be. But Russell had been right; you were protective of him. Not only because he was a good man but he also reminded you of someone you had lost long ago. You would bend over backwards to keep him safe (as safe as you could given his chosen career), even if it meant putting yourself in harm’s way. He had truly become like a brother to you. 

But you had also meant what you said just now. If Russell continued to irritate you, there was no way he was leaving this time without you putting a bullet in him. Right in his ass before the door could hit it when he turned his back on you for the last time. That or a good old fashioned ass kicking in the form of your right hook. After everything he’d done, he deserved nothing less.  

You pulled up to a local motel that you had booked a room at the last few days, in case you needed to close up shop and haul ass out of town quickly. It wasn’t the same establishment you had gone to the morning of the fire and you still had your place thirty minutes away, but you had learned it was always best to prepare for any eventuality. Especially after a job needing to be done so close to home. You had seen what happened with Doug; who was to say Horizon wouldn’t leave you out to dry, too, should the heat from the fire get a little too close?

You got out and headed over to the door, unlocking it and stepping inside, not looking back to see if Russell was following you. Neither of you had spoken on the ride over (which was probably for the best) and you didn’t glance at him once. Instead, you had done your damndest to tamp down the fury you felt racing through your veins as more and more memories played out in your mind. Now that Russell had a vague idea of the truth of what you had been doing all of this time, everything you had ever wanted to say to him seemed to be trying to rush to the surface as well as all of the pain you had endured.

You slipped your suit jacket off and tossed it onto the bedspread. You heard the door shut behind you and you spun around, seeing Russell’s eyes scanning the room, stopping on the bed, and then lifting to you. You scoffed and unbuttoned the sleeves of your blouse, rolling them up to your forearms. “Not happening so don’t even think about it,” you hissed.

“Wasn’t going there.”

You didn’t believe him. “Right.” You took a seat at the table and impatiently gestured to the seat across from you. “Well?”

He sat down and without missing a beat, dove right in. “How the hell did this even happen, Y/N?”

“Really? That’s what you’re starting out with?”

Russell shot you a look.

You let out an aggravated sigh and sat back in your chair, crossing your legs and getting comfortable. “I was recruited, not too long after you left.”

His jaw dropped. “They approached you?”

Nodding, your jaw tightened thinking back to that time. It wasn’t a memory you liked revisiting. You were at your lowest, Russell having just walked out like the four and a half years you’d spent together hadn’t meant a damn thing to him. He had been it for you. You had put everything you had into the relationship, which proved to be a difficult balancing act sometimes between your career at the Bureau and Russell’s job that he wouldn’t tell you too much about. You both had overcome so much together…all for him to tell you that he simply didn’t love you anymore, give you a shitty apology, and walk right out the door years later. Like you had simply been an amusing distraction, nothing more. Like you had merely been a stopping point in his journey and now he was bored and moving on. The breakup would’ve hurt regardless but the cold detached manner he’d spoken to you with caused more pain than you would have ever been willing to admit. It was a good thing you had already become a Special Agent by then, not stuck to any one location or field office, given how often you were hungover for some weeks there. You had attempted to track him down (which hadn’t been easy) to try to talk to him, to make him see reason; you didn’t believe that he had stopped loving you just like that. But when you had finally located him, he had been holed up in a dingy motel, similar to this one, but he wasn’t alone. That had hurt beyond words and it had taken everything for you not to say anything, not to let him see you, and turn back around, heading home with your tail between your legs and your head hanging in heartbroken defeat. 

None of it made sense to you. How had your life changed so drastically in a single day? Perhaps you had never really known Russell Shaw. Perhaps you only saw what he wanted you to see. But when you replayed the last few weeks of your relationship, even the fight over Colter, something still wasn’t jiving. So you buried yourself in work during the day and as deep into the bottle as you could during the late nights. Until they showed up.

“And you said yes?” He asked in disbelief.

Your eyes flicked to Russell, narrowing. “Why not? You did.”

He pressed his lips together. You had him there and he knew it. “That was different.”

“How?” You snapped. “Exactly how is that different, Russell?”

“I joined them long before you and I met.” Yeah, you knew that now. You knew everything he hadn’t told you the time you’d been together, minus the actual details of the off the books missions he went on. You now knew why Doug had never told Tracy anything either. Not only were they not allowed to, but It was safer that way.

“Well, bully for you, Shaw. You’ve got a few years on me at being a black ops agent and you’ve racked up a few more bodies than I have. Told way more lies, too. Congrats. Do we get you a cake or…?”

He leaned forward, covering your hand with his. “Stop. Just…talk to me,” he pleaded gently.

You hated it when he did that because you hated that it still affected you on some deep level. You rolled your eyes and moved your hand from underneath his, placing it in your lap. “They approached me about six months out from when you left.”

“Who approached you?”

Yeah, you weren’t giving him that. If you did, you knew he’d be on their doorstep in a second and that you couldn’t have. Not after you had just cleaned up the Solano mess and smoothed things over. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” You knew that, could see it in his expression, but too bad. You both were in it now, had signed NDA’s, and details like that were meant to stay confidential anyway. 

“Someone did and that’s all you're getting.” You gave him a meaningful look. “Regardless, they offered me a job and I took it.”

You watched as Russell’s features tightened. “And the FBI thing?”

“Still active, though I’m now kept more as an ear to the ground, providing information and cleanup when need be.” You noticed a slight wince cross across his face. “They’re the ones I answer to and they’ve chosen to keep me there for the time being. I’m more effective in that setup.” Those words from your handler still burned you but over time, you had been able to adapt and utilize their refusal to fully bring you in to your advantage.

“And Solano and his men? Were they cleanup?”

You didn’t break away from his penetrating gaze and gave it to him straight. “You and Doug made quite a mess of things. So, yes, I was called in to clean it up.” He briefly closed his eyes in the same pain you had seen earlier, though you couldn’t fathom why. It had been nearly three years since he’d last professed to give a shit about you. Why would this even affect him? “Horizon wanted you kept clean and Doug was on his own. Then you idiotically showed up at Ann’s residence, not only tipping them off to the fact that you were sniffing around where you shouldn’t have been but then you allowed Colter to threaten them. You had to know that was going to ruffle quite a few feathers and put a target on your backs.”

His jaw clenched again and that dark void was back in his gaze. His fingers twitched near his phone and you knew he was itching to call his brother to check on him. “And they sent you to clean that up, too?”

You slowly shook your head. “No.” If they had, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now. Most likely, you’d be dead while Colter and Russell would hopefully be on the run or have gone into hiding. “Only to assess what threats you both posed to the organization.”

“And what was your assessment?” He watched you carefully. In this moment, you weren’t former lovers. You were two people with lethal skills and training, willing to do whatever it took to keep your loved ones safe, even from each other. 

You never broke away from his gaze, watching him back just as carefully. “What do you think?”

He stayed quiet for a moment, looking pensive and most likely turning your words over in his mind. You weren’t going to say it but knowing that gnawing feeling of constantly worrying about someone you cared deeply about, you wanted to make sure you both were on the same page of this topic. “And, Russell, if they had sent me for that, I never would.” His gaze immediately met yours. “Ever,” you promised. 

His eyes roamed over your face, most likely assessing if you were bullshitting him or telling the truth. Obviously having decided on the latter, after a minute or so, he gave you a nod. “How do you know they accepted your assessment, though? There’s no way they don’t know about you and Colter, you and me…”

This time, your jaw was the one clenching. Yeah, you were made aware of that fact when you had been approached for recruitment. That was how they knew about you, your career as a Federal agent, and how you had been involved with Russell once upon a time. When you found out more about Horizon from the inside, it didn’t surprise you one bit how deeply they dove into the background of their candidates or the amount of information they gathered on them. You’d even helped put together a few files yourself, without fully knowing what unit the candidates were being considered for of course. They kept a close watch on their assets and that was putting it lightly. 

So when you got involved with Russell, completely oblivious to what you were really getting into, Horizon had already scoped you out as well as Colter, Dory, their mother, Bobby, Reenie, Teddi, Velma — everyone. Even Colter’s on-again/off-again, Billie, and the mysterious circumstances of the death of the boys’ father. They knew it all. Horizon didn’t like surprises and you supposed you couldn’t blame them considering their line of work, but it also meant that you and everyone you cared about needed to be extra careful. 

It was one of the many reasons you couldn’t completely forgive Russell, though you now understood why he’d walked out when he did. Things had unraveled so badly between you that you’d started quietly digging into Horizon, not trusting what Russell had told you prior. Back then, you thought you’d find only what Russell had claimed: private security, perhaps a couple of Special Ops situations where an American hostage was retrieved in another country, or worse: he was lying to you and having an affair. Now, you knew he had told you the truth — a very scrubbed, limited version of the truth that omitted most of what he really did for the outfit. You remembered what he’d told you about a week and a half before he left. 

“You need to stop digging.” 

You looked upon him with confusion. One minute, you had been having a very tense and silent dinner where you could only hear forks scraping against the plates every so often, and the next, Russell was glaring over at you, speaking cryptically. “What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You need to stop looking into Horizon and leave it alone. I mean it, Y/N. Let it be.” His eyes bored into you with warning before he got up from the table and took his plate into the kitchen, leaving you to finish your meal alone.    

Normally, you wouldn’t have listened, determined to get to the bottom of Russell’s mysterious employer, but considering how your relationship was hanging by a thread at that point, you did. Despite the warning bells going off in your head, you did as exactly as he said: you let it be. 

You suddenly remembered Russell’s question to you. “You’re still breathing, aren’t you?”

Russell affected a slow nod, thinking it over. “And Colter?”

“I told them he’s no threat,” you murmured. “I talked to him, told him to forget they exist. He agreed as long as you were safe.”

For the first time since this conversation started, you could see Russell start to relax a bit, relief saturating his features. Even a small smile started to light up the tension in his face. While you could understand the feeling, share it even, something about it had you on your feet, walking over to the small refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water from the six pack you had tossed in there when you booked the room. You held one up in an offer but Russell shook his head. 

“I’m good.”

You shrugged, unsurprised, and twisted off the cap, taking a drink. It made sense that he was still being cautious. Before you knew it, though, he was standing in front of you, that pleading yet determined look in his eyes again. 

“I want to get you out.”

You snorted. “There is no getting out, Russell. Not for me, anyway. Not until they’re done with me.”

He took a step closer and gently took the water bottle from you, placing it on the counter, and grasped your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “There’s always an exit strategy,” he murmured. “I never wanted this for you, Y/N. I only ever wanted to keep you safe. That’s why I left.”

Yeah, you knew that now, too. “I know that now. Why you wouldn’t tell me certain things about your job, but, Jesus, Russell. Did you really think they didn’t already know about me and who I was to you? Colter even? Dory? Your mom?”

He let out a deep sigh and hung his head, letting your chin go. “I know. I… It was a good fit for me at the time, the money was good — that’s why I hooked Doug up with them. But seeing how they hung him out to dry at the first opportunity and now you,” He tenderly ran his thumb along your cheek. “I’m seriously starting to rethink that decision.”

You pulled away from him. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t unring that bell.” You made your way back over to the bed and yanked your duffel bag from underneath it. You unzipped it and began rooting through it to make sure you had everything you needed for a quick getaway. You didn’t think you needed to go anywhere but now this location was blown for you since you had made the decision to let Russell know about it. You had already triple checked your stash when you left it here upon check-in but you needed something to focus on instead of the clear regret in Russell’s face. “And as for me, I made my decision.” You pulled out a gun from a secret compartment, checked the clip to make sure it was full, and slipped it back inside. “I’m good with it. I’ve used it fully to my advantage and I make good money, more than I was ever going to make at the Bureau, even if they fast-tracked me to Deputy Director. Solano was on our Most Wanted List for twenty six days and I took him out in one. Had he possibly gone free, there’s no telling what he would have done, who he would have hurt besides Doug.” You knew exactly what he would have done and who he would have hurt; he’d told you in explicit detail. You didn’t go into it but Russell wasn’t stupid (not when it came to things like this anyway). He most likely knew as well. He’d wanted to close up Solano as a loose end himself after all. “That kind of cleanup I can more than live with.”

Russell carefully approached, his eyes on the second gun you had pulled out and were checking. “I get that and I more than appreciate what you did with Solano. For Doug, for Colter and me.” Once you slipped the weapon back into its pocket, he laid a hand on your shoulder, prompting you to look over at him. “You can’t tell me, though, that this is what you want for your endgame. Not really.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “I don’t have an endgame, Russell. Maybe I did once but you took that the second you walked out the door, acting like everything we’d gone through meant nothing to you, like I meant nothing to you.” 

There was that remorse again and you despised it. “I’m sorry, I…handled that badly,” he admitted.

“Handled it badly?” You laughed in disbelief. You shirked his hand off of you and moved to the night table, yanking the drawer open to rip out the bible sitting in there. You opened it to the area you had cut out to hold emergency cash and cards, just like Russell had taught you once upon a time. “You told me I’d been nothing to you but a fling for the past four years, that you might have loved me once but you didn’t anymore. That I was…how did you put it? A fun distraction.” You slammed the bible shut and tossed it back into the drawer before closing it. You hurried back over to the bag, throwing the funds inside another secret compartment, more than done with this conversation.

“You’re right, I fucked up. I only said those things to—”

“Cut the cord, yeah, I know. Still doesn’t make it right,” you muttered, roughly zipping the duffel back up. 

“I wanted you to be safe. You were digging into them, even after I told you not to! And worse, you were pulling Colter into it!”

That quickly got your attention and you spun on your heel, jabbing a finger in the air at him. “Don’t you fucking dare lay Colter at my feet. Especially after what you just pulled last week. It wasn’t me hauling him into Doug’s case! Not to mention, way before you met me, the minute you took that job, you put everyone you knew on their radar and you know it! So don’t you fucking dare. I have been doing everything I can to make sure Colter is safe and doesn’t pull their attention, poring over every case he takes in the background to ensure they’re not involved or have any vested interests that are. Hell, I even just used a contact of mine to float a case over to Teddi and Velma to get him out of town and far away from here to continue keeping him safe. Me, Russell! Me! And what did you do to keep him safe? You blow back into town and not only put him even more on their radar, you deliver him right to their goddamn doorstep! So don’t you dare even try to put that on me,” you finished in a snarl. 

Shame lurked at the corners of his eyes and you scoffed in disgust, whirling around to grab your jacket from the bed before picking up the duffel bag and slinging the handle over your shoulder. “So glad we had this talk,” you sniped. “Now go have fun with the cheerleading dental hygienist or Reenie,” You could see more shame looking back at you. Unlike the hot tub conquest, Colter had actually told you about that one. You could tell how much it was bothering him and you knew he wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise, knowing it wasn’t something you really wanted to hear. “Or that bartender you holed up with three weeks after you walked out on me,” Now you could see surprise; you could care less. “Or whoever you want. But me? I’m done. Have a nice life, Russell Shaw, and try not to get killed before you get out to start your little brewery operation. Oh, and try to manage not to get your brother or me killed in the process, yeah? Thanks ever so much. See ya.” 

You were walking towards the door when you were grabbed and whipped around. Before you could react, Russell was on you, his mouth covering yours and his hands gripping your face. “I love you,” he breathed against your lips after breaking away to let you catch your breath. “I’m sorry I said what I did back then but it wasn’t the truth. It took everything I had to walk away but as long as you were safe, that was all that mattered to me. I fucked up and I am sorry. I never stopped loving you, Y/N. Not ever.” 

He wiped at your cheeks and you hadn’t even realized you’d been crying. Shit. Well, that was embarrassing. Even more embarrassing was how much you wanted to believe him. You knew he was telling the truth about why he walked away, how he wanted to keep you safe, but it obviously hadn’t been as difficult for him to move on as it had been for you. “No, you don’t,” you choked out. “If that were true, you would have never walked out that door.” Your voice wobbled on those last few words and you hated it, hated how vulnerable you were being to him right now.

You wiped at your own cheeks and turned around, ignoring the pleading you saw once again in his eyes. 

“Y/N, please,” he ground out.

You kept moving towards the door. As you laid your hand on the door handle to turn it, you were whipped around one more time and he was kissing you yet again, your back pressed up against the wood. Except this time, you finally threw in the towel and gave in to what your damaged heart had been wanting all of this time. You buried your fingers in his hair and kissed him back just as passionately, not caring that more tears rolled down your cheeks as you did. He yanked the duffel bag from you and let it fall into a heap on the floor before lifting you up and turning to carry you over to the bed. You knew this was going to hurt like hell later but you refused to put a stop to it. You’d find a way to numb the pain when it ripped you open a second time, just like you always had. 

The only thought running through your mind as he laid you down and ripped your blouse open, sending buttons flying everywhere, was that you had been right. You knew the bastard had been lying earlier when you’d caught him looking between you and the bed. But right then as he lifted away from you to quickly shed his top layers and then dove back down to kiss you again and melt into you, your fingers greedily relearning every inch of his bare skin, you couldn’t care less.   

You reached your hand over, tenderly running a finger along the edges of the bandage on Russell’s arm. “Does it hurt?” You murmured.

“A little.” He turned his head to smile down at you. “More than worth it, though.”

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his chuckle at you gently pushing his head away, and turned onto your back. Russell embraced you with his other arm, pulling you into him. You rested your ear against his bare chest, hearing his steady heartbeat and settling your gaze on the ceiling above you. He pressed a kiss to your head, letting his lips linger against your hair, as his thumb rubbed your shoulder back and forth.

After a few minutes of content silence between you, you put voice to the question resounding in your mind. “How did we get here, Russell?”

“Well, you drove us over and then we—”

You softly swatted his chest, making him laugh and hearing the sound reverberate underneath your ear. “You know what I mean.”

“I wish I knew the best way to answer that, “ he whispered to you. You could hear the genuine regret in his tone and it made you start thinking about when you both would have to leave this motel room, and go back to the separate lives you had been living. Memories of lazy mornings like this back when you had been together, of you listening to his voice in your ear and knowing you were safe and loved, replayed in your mind on a loop. You would never admit it to him but you missed this, missed him. Nothing had felt right in the last couple of years like this moment here did. If anything, all of that time felt like some weird drug-induced nightmare, and you had just woken up to find Russell here next to you, nothing having changed. But that wasn’t true; everything had changed.

Not wanting to think about that just yet, you picked up the hand that had been caressing your shoulder and studied the skin of his wrist. “This is new.” You trailed your finger along the design of the tattoo sitting there. “What prompted you to get this one?”

“That’s something Doug and I got one night when we met up with another one of the guys from our unit when he was in town. Tommy Laird. Good man.”

“A crown?”

Russell shrugged underneath you. “Tommy picked the design.”

“‘We three kings’, huh?”

You heard him chuckle. “Never thought of it like that but sure.”

“Is he also a part of Horizon?”

You felt him tense underneath you at the mention of the dark and deadly elephant in the room. “No. He, uh, he lives with his wife and three kids in North Carolina. They have a house in Cary and he went back to the family business when he got home.”

You nodded and pulled his wrist to you, placing your lips on his skin and tenderly kissing the middle of the design before letting him go. He hugged you closer to him and placed a kiss to your ear in turn, letting out what sounded like a contented sigh. 

A moment later, he murmured. “I want to help get you out.”

You nearly rolled your eyes again. You wanted to ask him why he was dead set on thinking that you even wanted out. Perhaps the you he had known would want a way out, want something more out of life than money and secrets and cleanups, but you had changed a lot in the last three years. But you knew if you posed that question, it would shatter the cocoon you currently found yourselves in and you weren’t ready for that to end just yet. So instead, you reminded him of another angle of the truth. “That’s not possible. Not the way you’re thinking. You know that.”

“Anything’s possible.” You nearly smiled at his response; there was the stubborn streak that sometimes infuriated you and sometimes endeared you to him, like right now. But you needed to make sure you maintained a reality check for the both of you. You knew what he was really thinking.

“Even if it was, we can’t.”

His head lifted and he frowned down at you. “Why not?”

“This isn’t some Mr. and Mrs. Smith shit. We don’t get a happy ending,” you finished sadly, thinking back to the life you once shared together as you cupped his cheek and rubbed it gently with your thumb. “Not together. It’s too dangerous.” You left it at that but you knew that he was more than aware of what you meant. 

His frown intensified at your words and he covered your hand with his, turning to place a kiss into your palm. “We’ll work it out.”

“Russ,” you sighed.

He gently grasped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, looking into your eyes. “We’ll work it out,” he softly repeated, that glint of determination back in his gaze. 

You decided once more that you wouldn’t bother launching into the many reasons it actually wouldn’t work out and you would refrain from popping that bubble he had just wrapped you both in. That moment would come later. But for now, you continued to keep silent.

When he noticed you weren’t going to say anything, a mischievous smile began to form on that handsome face you loved. “You know, I don’t really have anything planned for today. How about you?”

Other than some paperwork you had to go over later, your day was pretty much free, too. Even if it hadn’t been, you knew that look and after this morning, despite still having some unresolved anger with him, despite things that still needed to be said between you, you would have freed up your schedule immediately. “I don’t think I’ll be missed for a while,” you teased.

He leaned in to kiss you, whispering to your lips, “Oh, you were missed. Very much fucking missed.” The impishness you had heard a moment before was now absent but he never gave you a chance to respond. Instead, he kissed you deeply and began moving to cover your body with his once again. He maneuvered himself in between your thighs, your legs automatically coming up to gently cradle his hips. “Your arm,” you broke away to warn him.

“Don’t care.” He lowered down to keep kissing you and surprisingly (or unsurprisingly perhaps), all was right in the world right then. You didn’t allow yourself to get swept away by it or by the fantasy of something that would never be. Sadly, the time for you and Russell to be together had come and gone. You’d had your chance and you both had blown it, with him starting you out of the gate. This right here, this was all that was left — like embers of a dying fire. You would always love him, you knew that (truthfully, you had always known it), but this was all you would ever have. Once you both walked out that door, you would be walking in separate directions, taking different paths in your lives, no matter what Russell would say. 

But for right now, you allowed yourself to live in the moment, to enjoy it as he groaned into your mouth when your hand helped guide him to where you both wanted him to be. You held onto him as he began a slow movement within you, knowing you would need to take over again very soon when his left arm began to tremble. But until then you kept him close to you, drank deeply of him, and reveled in what the two of you had always managed to create together, content to keep Horizon and the rest of the world on the other side of the motel room door, if only for a moment longer. 

A/N: I know I left some things open and unresolved. I wanted to do that to let this be a gateway to the continuing story in the short series coming titled "Closer". Please let me know if you would like to be tagged in the series.

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[zan0tix]

Pleaseeee tell me more about that homescryption au

A little something between you and me and everyone else who happens to look at this post. Im working on a lineup for the four scrybes :D

Roxys design is subject to change and you guys have already seen D1rk. Jane and Jake are in progress!!! (Also D1rk and Harley are the names for dirk and jake but weve been struggling to come up with appropriately fantasical/magical names for Jane and Roxy that align with magnificus and grimora😞 Harley feels old-manish enough that it fits in well… im sure well get there but if anybody has ideas feel free to comment ✌️)

But yes i can tell you more!!! ILL PUT IT ALL UNDER THE CUT THIS POST IS GOING TO BE LONG o7

Working with cyrus repliiku to flesh it out x3 he was the one who got me into the game and im CRAZY NOW!!!!

The four alpha scrybes methods of inscribing cards are that Harley uses his magic blunderbuss and the things he shoots become cards, Roxys cards are the fantasical characters she creates in her stories, Jane will be a detective of death, uncovering how cards die and writing up a casefile in her detective agency about them (might give her a magic magnifying glass. Well see), and D1rk were trying to figure out something with Sburbs captcha card + ghost captcha system like how Po3’s cards are printed from real robots

The students/the scrybes underlings are going to be other homestuck characters or splinters!

D1rks will be the robots (aradiabot, arquius (wanted him to me more unique than just brobot + hal so he gets to be a robot) and jadebot.

Harleys will be jake-ish splinters rather than new characters. Thered be the Adventurer (prospector), the Hunter (trapper/trader), the Sailor (angler), the Ectobiologist (mycologists), and the Actor (woodcarver) and his campaigns would be more Action packed like jakes action movies type stuff hehe

Janes will be the dead trolls, nepeta, equius and feferi. Not much to say besides them being dead lol 😭

And roxys were still figuring out but nerm. Viceroy/Casey, Rose (maybe goobert but they are actually nice and kind to her) and Eridan….(lonely wizard he was banished to the shadow realm for being annoying 😁👍)

Luke Carter is going to be Calliope and Satan in the greater scheme of the daniel mullins-verse will be Caliborn/Lord English because i think itd be very funny for him to just. Be making video games and thats his evil plot. LOL and Sado would be Gamzee. (Will not expand to pony island or the hex this is just clearing up the ending of inscryption)

Kaycee would probably be Aranea but like just some normal girl. Not all that sure abt the OLD_DATA tho ??? Maybe just all the wrong doings Lord English has committed and influenced culminated into the files or the code that brought him into the universe I DUNNO.

Retconning the drawing i did when i first scribbled this AU, i believe when harley turns the other scrybes into preexisting cards d1rk would become a seagull (kingfisher replacement) roxy would become a jaguar (wolf replacement) and jane would become a jackalope (pronghorn replacement) 😁

And the way harley would be defeated would be using his blunderbuss on him with a special bullet instead of film. Po3’s decapitation fulfilled the Dirk prophecy too LOL

I think that of the gameplay/card gimmicks themselves would work basically the same but i might try and come up with more creative homestucky twists on them

Im planning on finishing the designs and making sprites and more mockup screenshots :3

I might write up or draw a comprehensive ref sheet for this au someday but for now heres what weve jotted down 👍

[wilbursprincess]

hey. . . Can you someday, maybe. . . Write Bottom superstarbur. . ? Like reader fucking siperstarbur with a fake dick (idk the name in english)

-🌷anon

Bottom Superstarbur

Superstarbur x Female Reader

Warnings: Reader uses a strap-on on Superstarbur who turns into a little whiny mess >:)

Well, this is something I never expected to write… but I’m not mad one bit! I actually had any 🍑 stuff in my list of stuff I wouldn’t write for a bit, but I took it out for reasons I can’t remember lol. Let’s just say that I’ve never ever ever written or thought about anything to do with 🍑 stuff, so apologies in advance if this sucks! Big, big thank you to @plutodexay-nsfw for inspiration on this one bc I was LOST lol.

Headcannons below cut!

~Wilbur would bring the idea of using a strap-on on him casually one day.

~You’d be eating dinner together, and he’d ask so casually you thought you misheard him.

~”I can’t say I’ve ever thought about it, Wilbur, but I’m not exactly opposed to it.”

~He’d grin, showing you his phone, a list of everything you’ll need already in his online cart, finger hovering over the ‘check out’ button.

~To say he was prepared was an understatement.

~Once everything arrives, you decide on some ground rules and a safe word, to keep everyone safe and comfortable.

~He’d want to go face down, ass up, since he’d heard it was deeper that way.

~The second Wilbur felt your finger press inside, he’d turn into a whining mess.

~His knees would be shaking, and you’d have to prop him up with a pillow before you even put the strap-on on!

~The moan that would come out of this man when he felt the strap-on push inside would be insane.

~Long fingers gripping the sheets, eyes screwed shut.

~Cums fast, like under 5 minutes fast. And he’d be hideously embarrassed about it.

~Through his embarrassment, he’d still beg for it again the second his legs stopped shaking.

[izzyspussy]

anyway. from my experience with people grudgingly, hopelessly meeting the expectations put on them regardless of if those expectations were 'low' or 'high' or how much of a burden and/or painful confinement filling that role was for them - and in fact my experience with BEING one of those people (in both directions), and with plentiful support from the text before it became wall spaghetti...

i think mickey would get a lot of fulfillment from being expected to take care of someone, be a primary member of someone's support system, to know and understand and anticipate (within reason) someone else's needs, to be relied on and trusted.

his life from birth has come with the certainty from others - parents, teachers, peers, law enforcement, social workers, neighbors, distant bystanders to whom he's a theoretical or a statistic - that he will be a selfish, deadbeat, low-life criminal dirtbag. he'll be a shitty kid, a shitty student, a dropout, a criminal. he'll make a shitty fucking lover and a shitty fucking boyfriend and someday a shitty fucking husband and/or shitty father, if he manages to even make it that far. he'll be his own shitty, selfish, deadbeat, low-life criminal dirtbag father's willing lackey for life. he surely can't be that smart, he's naturally violent, and if he wasn't born pre-equipped with his family's signature absence of morals he's guaranteed to absorb it by puberty. expecting any better of him is just a waste of resources.

but then look at his actual character. iirc his literal character introduction is him protecting mandy. that he enacts his care via violence does not change that he is in fact acting with care (and i would argue that if ian actually had done what it's implied mandy accused him of, mickey's reaction would be pretty close to proportional lol).

the very first time his relationship with ian progresses, it's because ian tells mickey he needs him - paired with the fact that mickey refuses when ian just asks to see him, and has textually shown immediate risk to not doing so, but can't resist need. he seems not just jealous about ian's older lovers, but also to feel some type of way about their ages specifically - and eventually vengefully extorts them for it.

he starts beef with sasha when he realizes she's paying svetlana unfairly, and while it can be argued - and is completely understandable - that mickey doesn't give a shit about svetlana personally at this point, this is still a protective/providing act; if svetlana doesn't make enough money, the whole household suffers. personally, i would also argue that this plotline, though it goes very badly and mickey ends up doing worse - in some ways - by those women than sasha, is actually a moment of character development for mickey independent of his relationship to ian; he is attempting, on his own, to form and act upon an internal sense of right and wrong; in my opinion this could have been built on even though this specific instance was not successful. and it's not even in all ways that he's worse than sasha. he has no real obligation to find a solution to the situation he caused, even less so for the women other than his wife, but he does (even though it's a downgrade). and once he's taken that responsibility, he does extend his protective violence to "[his] girls". when somebody hits one of them, he makes a house call to that guy's place and not only kicks the shit out of him, but also tells on him to his wife to a) humiliate him in addition to beating him and b) ensure that he'll have longer lasting consequences than mickey can inflict. but of course all of this was narratively forgotten as soon as it wasn't convenient lol.

(he also looooves to make people dig their holes deeper with him. but that's not strictly on topic, just something that makes me giggle and kick my feet and draw little hearts around his name in my notebook. on the other hand, maybe i'll talk about his performative anger - telegraphed, loud - versus his genuine anger - quiet, calculated, with confidence in his ability to back it up that often makes it look like amusement. some other post.)

he also makes an earnest offer to assist with domestic labor while staying with the gallaghers - and is immediately judged for and dismissed as insincere for not knowing how.

so. while of course there would be the initial panic and defensiveness at the sudden shift, the certainty that he really can't be like that and asking him to is unfair, i think with just a little bit of understanding and encouragement, mickey would actually be not just willing to take on a caretaker type of role but happy to. lowkey flattered to have even been considered a legitimate option, validated by having the related expectations placed on him when he accepts, and fulfilled and rewarded by then actually performing the role. i think it would be hurtful and deeply insulting to him to be 'relieved' of the part on the basis of the belief that he couldn't or wouldn't want to do it. devastating, in fact.

AND! he would be pretty damn good at it, after an adjustment period. even with only low expectations to live down to and/or the only high expectations for him being of the non-caring variety, mickey still found ways to be protective, caring, and a provider that were doable within the context of his environment - whenever he doesn't think it's impossible to succeed.

(and say the shift wasn't really that sudden. say he had someone very important to him gradually increasing their expectations of him over a period of three or four years, someone he was close to who knew him very well, maybe even better than anyone else ever has, telling him every now and then "i know you can do better. i want better from you." just say, for example. like. hypothetically.)

contrast to ian, who has instead been living up to unasked for expectations his whole life. he's expected to help with his younger siblings, to contribute domestically and financially to his household, to hold down a steady job that his family relies on for basic needs as a young teenager. he's so smart, he's so charming, he's so sweet-looking; he's expected to excel academically, to have well-defined and locked-in ambitions for his far future Right Now, to be polite and level-headed and respectable at all times. he's 'so mature for his age' and 'resilient' - i.e. adults rely on him to fulfill their needs, and to not need anything from them in return. frank expects him to be able to take a few hits without being affected; monica expects him to be her best friend without needing her to be his mom; fiona expects him to need less of her attention than debbie, carl, or liam, and sometimes even than lip; kash not only has sex with him, but also expects him to meet kash's adult emotional needs, and gets violent and mean when ian doesn't do so. he's expected to come to mandy's rescue, and to patiently hold mickey's hand through his personal growth.

and most importantly, ian is expected to never, ever, ever do or say or think or feel anything that frank or monica would. or even to understand it. and when he has no choice but to have something fundamental in common with monica, he is immediately expected to behave exactly like her in every way, regardless of any other aspect of his own individual personality - which is the opposite of the first set of expectations in the worst possible way.

so again. while ian would be initially defensive and resistant to it out of conditioned pride for Not Needing, it would be an overall positive and healing experience for him to be taken care of (also again, within reason). to be doted on. to be the center of someone's attention without the expectation to cater to them because of it. to be able to feel his feelings and express them and not make sense and have it all be accepted even if it's not understood. to be able to fail and it not be the end of the fucking world, or a sign of the inevitable worse to come. to have the space and support to try a bunch of shit and fail at some of it and give some of it up and succeed but still move on to something else. to have someone who wants to know every little thing about him, all the good stuff and bad stuff and neutral boring stuff, who is glad to know every new thing they find out even if it's not what they were expecting or what they wanted to hear. someone who understands and is okay with it if he doesn't know some of that stuff either.

and. btw. all this is perfectly compatible as-is with their established/extrapolate-able sexual dynamic of mickey as the impatient masochistic bottom brat size queen who wants - or sometimes needs - to be 'convinced', and ian as the demanding selfish hard-to-impress hypersexual sadist top who wants his ego serviced as much as his body, both of them rough and tumble tough guys. BTW. By The Fucking Way. and fyi.

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 6

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 4K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

This one's a little longer than the last few, but it's one I was really excited to get to for a while. I hope you guys like it! We're starting to get into the nitty gritty! Once again please let me know what you think of it! Thank you all for your support :)

__________

After your emotional conversation with Pedro, you were worried he'd stop talking to you. At least, it seems that's how it usually works. Whenever you try to have a conversation about emotions with someone, it gets shut down. But surprisingly.. it didn't push Pedro away at all. The two of you talk nearly every day on the phone, and when you don't, it's made up for with plenty of text messages. You don't even have to be the first to communicate, either. It just feels natural. It doesn't need to be over-thought.

You keep telling yourself not to get your hopes up, but at the same time, you feel like maybe it's turning into something. Something more than friends. You couldn't help but wonder if Pedro felt the same way, or if maybe he's just a really nice guy.

Despite these feelings, you're still hesitant to tell him you love him. Although he put many of your fears to rest, you continued to be nervous. You were inexperienced. You were significantly younger than him. You led two very different lives. And even though he reassured you about your appearances, it doesn't mean you'd be his type once he actually saw you. Shoot, you don't even know if he's interested in pursuing a relationship.

Plus, now there's the risk of messing up a new friendship. Why ruin it?

How does anyone ever get into a relationship? Others make it look so easy, jumping from relationship to relationship like their heart isn't at stake.

Maybe someday you'd tell him. Maybe someday you'd share these other fears as well. But not yet. You weren't ready.

_____

About a week had gone by since you first talked on the phone, and it was around 1 PM when he called you.

"Hey Pedro!"

"Hey there, songbird," he replied cheerily.

"Songbird?" You giggled.

"If you hate it-"

"No, I love it. It's sweet," you blushed.

"Okay good. But the reason I'm calling is because I saw something on Instagram…"

"Oh yeah? What of?"

"About you. When were you going to tell me?"

Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh what? What is he referring to?

You nervously laughed "I… what? Tell you what now?"

"Your album is coming out in a WEEK!??!" He practically yelled with excitement.

Seriously… this guy. Giving me a damn heart attack.

"OH" you replied sheepishly. "You scared me, thinking you heard… I dunno"

"Oh! I'm sorry. No. I haven't heard any information that you haven't told me yourself, nor would I believe it anyway. Other than.. this album!!!" Pedro announced like a gameshow host.

You laughed before replying "yes, yes, the album comes out next week! They just announced it I guess."

Pedro clapped and shouted. "CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm so happy and proud of you!!!!!!!!"

You weren't looking in a mirror, and he couldn't see you either, but you could bet money that your cheeks were a bright shade of pink. "Thank you, Pedro!" You giggled, your face beginning to hurt from the large smile he caused.

"How are you celebrating? Is the studio doing anything for you?"

"Well they mentioned an album release party, but being that nobody really knows me I don't know who I would even invite. Plus I'm not sure that a large thing like that is how I'd like to show myself to the world. A little too ceremonious for my liking." You grimaced.

"Well, I happen to think you deserve something ceremonious, even if you don't think you do. And I think we should celebrate."

"We - you - you do? You mean…?" You stuttered in disbelief.

"You and me," he said matter-of-factly.

"You.. and… What did you have in mind?" 

Frankly you didn't know what to think.

"Well. I was thinking… Maybe we could listen to the album together? We could talk on the phone and listen, and it would be like our own little album release party. You wouldn't have to show yourself or meet people. It would just be like our normal conversations. Except I'd get to hear your new music and talk about it with you. If you want," he said, sounding slightly nervous.

Your heart swelled at the gesture and you agreed happily. The two of you made a plan to "meet" at 7PM and listen together the night of your album release. And he promised he wouldn't listen without you.

_____

It wasn't until after you were off the phone with him that you began to overthink the songs on your album. Not unlike your first single, these were also rather vulnerable at times. Sure, he knew a lot, and he'd listen to the album anyway. Probably. But still. To hear it… together? You were starting to feel like you were in over your head.

Nevertheless, the week continued on like normal. Work, talking to Pedro, hanging with Skipper. You agreed to a few more interviews in article or voice format after the release, and signed a few last minute things.

As the album date approached closer, Pedro texted you one day.

"Okay I'm going to ask you something and I want you to trust me okay. I'm not going to do anything that I know you would hate."

"Okay…" what does this man have up his sleeve?

"Can I have your address?"

Why does he want my address???? The panic settled in. But, you did like him; and he hadn't crossed any boundaries yet. In fact, he's been one of the most understanding of your qualms.

So. You sent him your address.

"Thank you ❤️" Pedro replied.

A heart !?! A red one!? 

"You're welcome. Also… I was planning to tell you anyway, but if you're looking for my address I may as well tell you…" you told him your real name. Not your stage name. Not a nickname. But your name. First, Last. All of it.

"Thank you for trusting me. I promise I'll keep it safe," reassured Pedro.

"Thank you, P."

"Of course. You have a beautiful name, by the way."

Your heart did a somersault.

_____

The album release date was finally here and you aren't sure you slept a wink. You were a bundle of nerves and excitement. You loved him and always enjoyed chatting together. This was exciting. But also these songs are so personal. This is a big moment. This was a big plan. And why did he want your address anyway?

~~~~~

Meanwhile at Pedro's place, he was just as nervous. He had started out excited, but then he got into his head. His plans for the evening started feeling too romantic. He didn't want you to get the wrong idea. He liked you, but he didn't want to push it. Maybe he was showing too many feelings towards you. You love someone else, and him not respecting that is rude. All you want is a friend and he's just going to seem like another one of those creepy guys trying to get into your pants.

But it was too late now, the plans were in motion, and maybe you'd enjoy it. Who knows. Either way, he loved your friendship, and friends could do this kind of thing for each other… right??

~~~~~

Throughout the day, you paced your house before finally leaving with Skipper in tow. "We gotta get some air, buddy. I'm losing it over here," you said while clipping his leash.

Stepping out of the house, you two went for a long walk, circled back toward home, and plopped down on your lawn. The house still felt too small in preparation for this evening, whatever it was. Why does it feel different anyway? It's just another phone call..? Unless….

Truth be told, while Pedro had his secret plans, you also had some of your own. Whether you followed through with them or not was up to your nerves.

After some sunbathing with your pup, you both head inside. The sun was starting to set, and you realized it was getting closer to the meetup time you chose with Pedro.

_____

6 PM.

You stared at the TV, not really absorbing anything on the screen, but needing a distraction. This afternoon you opted for a show that Pedro was not in. For once, you needed to not see his handsome face. You needed something else. Half paying attention while picking at a hangnail, you jump out of your skin at the sight of your phone lighting up. Pedro texted.

"Picking out my outfit for tonight! Always important to look nice for celebration."

Shit… he's not coming over is he?! That's why he wanted my address?!

"Wait…" you pondered how to phrase your question without sounding like a panicked asshole, when all you wanted to say was "what the fuck do you MEAN!?!"

I'm not dressed. I'm in sweats and covered in dog hair. I don't have makeup on. Oh no.

"Wait… is that why you wanted my address?"

"Oh. Nooo, no no. No, sweet girl, don't worry. I'm not coming over unexpectedly and interrupting your hiding place. I just think it's still important to dress nice."

"Oh..Okay.."

It was around 6:15 when he texted a picture of himself wearing a white button up with a dark blue suit and matching tie. He wore dark-frame glasses and his hair was slightly tamed, but still showed his messy curls. He looked gorgeous.

But as you scanned his body you noticed that instead of dress shoes, he wore a pair of polka dot socks. He had a goofy grin and his one eyebrow was cocked. You grinned.

"All dressed up and nowhere to go," he said.

"You're a goof, P. But I appreciate the effort."

A pause.

"Also, you look really handsome" you nervously hit send before you had a chance to chicken out.

Bold. Probably shouldn't have said that. But hey, friends compliment each other.

"Why thank you. A big accomplishment like this requires all the stops."

He timed this message right to the minute. As you read his text, your doorbell rang.

You opened the door to find two boxes. One large, one small. A delivery boy was getting into his car. 

"Delivery from your biggest fan. 

-❤️, P"

He… he sent me some kind of care package?? And put a heart? And said he's my biggest fan?

You squealed and carried the boxes into the house. "What's this!?" You texted Pedro.

"Open them and see!"

You immediately open them. Inside the larger box was a variety of items. The first thing you noticed was a small vase holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. To the right of that was a bag, which you opened and found your favorite meal, from your favorite restaurant. 

Wow, this is elaborate. 

Below the food was another small bag holding your favorite dessert, and finally to the left, your favorite drink.

I can't believe he remembered all of my favorite things.. This is so thoughtful.

When you moved the flower vase, you noticed one more small item. Is that a… corsage?? You texted Pedro the question.

"Yep!" He sent, with a photo of a matching flower on his lapel.

Remembering you still had the small box, you opened the box flaps, wondering what could possibly be left for him to give you. On top of it was another note.

"For a handsome boy.

- ❤️, your mom's friend, Pedro"

Under the note was a jar of peanut butter, a squeaky anchor toy, and…? What's this?

You unwrap a small paper wrapping to find a dog-sized black bowtie. Shut up.

"SKIPPER!!! Look what Pedro gave you, buddy!"

He padded over to you and let you hook the dressy accessory around his neck. With the clip adjusted, he sat back, looking proud of his new fashion. You quickly snapped a picture and texted it to Pedro.

"I can't believe you did all this, Pedro. Not only did you send all this, but you remembered my favorite things? You remembered all the details from when I first met Skipper. My favorite food, dessert, drink, and flower? That's so sweet, this is all too much Pedro..  Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. I.. I don't even know what to say."

You're amazing and I love you. Is what I want to say.

"You're welcome." He texted back. "Like I said, you deserve a celebration. Plus…"

Pedro sent a photo of his table, set up with the same food and drink, with the caption "now it's like we're having a dinner party."

It was nearing the time to meet, but you still had to do one more thing. You had pondered it earlier in the day, but fully decided it when Pedro sent the photo of himself dressed up. It's now or never.

_____

6:45 PM.

Pedro sat waiting for a reply after he sent his dinner photo. It had only been a couple minutes, but his hands were sweaty and his leg was shaking under the table. Finally, his phone went off. You sent… a video?

He opened it and pressed play. There, he saw you rotating your wrist with the corsage on it. The first time he's ever seen your wrist, hand, or arm before. The first time he's even seen your skin tone.

Geez you act like you're in the Victorian ages, pull yourself together, he rolled his eyes at himself for being so overjoyed.

Next, the video panned to Skipper in his bowtie, looking handsome as ever. The camera zoomed in on him and he looked up into the view with his big brown eyes. 

And then…

The camera panned to the side, and showed a mirror. A full length mirror, where you stood. He scanned your body from your perfectly done up hair and makeup, down your body to your dress. You wore your favorite dress, (in your favorite color, he noted) which showed off your body in the best ways. He looked down to the floor and noticed that you too were wearing fun socks instead of shoes. You wore a pair of striped socks and wrote in your caption "all dressed up and nowhere to go."

His heart picked up and he could feel himself breathing unevenly. He finally saw you. And you were gorgeous. He couldn't help the smile that enveloped his face.

Fuck. She's beautiful… I'm screwed. 

She loves someone else. She loves someone else. She loves someone else. Forget your feelings.

Despite his struggle, he knew he wanted, and needed, to tell you how beautiful he thought you looked. This was a big step to show yourself, and he also knew how self-conscious you felt about your body.

"Wow, you're so beautiful."

You blushed, replying with a quick thank you with a heart, then sending a second message asking if he was ready to listen. The video wasn't the only trick you had planned up your sleeve tonight.

______

The clock turned to 7 PM and Pedro hit the dial for your number. You answered the phone and said a quick "hang on" to set up the shared listening party link for your album. Once sent, you took a deep breath and steadied your nerves. Then, you took the plunge.

"Okay I got the link! I'm so exci - what - wait, is this an accident?" Pedro's hand fumbled as he received your incoming video chat request, his heart picking up to a galloping pace.

"Nope! You can answer it. If you want.."

He quickly swiped the accept button and there you were. Clad in your favorite dress, sitting at a table with the meal he sent in front of you. He could see himself in the corner square, dressed in his suit, with nearly the identical table setup and food.

He couldn't help but notice on his own video screen that his cheeks were turning rosy and his mouth curled into a large smile. But he was too happy to be shy about his blush.

"So this is you," he said.

"This is me," you replied shyly, but still with a huge smile and blush plastered on your face, matching Pedro's.

"You look.." he sighed shakily "..wow.."

"You look pretty wow yourself there," you said with a shy giggle.

Both of you let out gentle laughs, feeling a warm glow as your stomachs felt matching butterflies of nerves, excitement, and… maybe something else.

"So should we listen, I guess?" You asked nervously.

He didn't answer. He was looking at the screen, eyes scanning the video. 

Is he blushing? You wondered. But why would he be? He doesn't like me back… right?

He still hadn't answered you when you finally said "Pedro?? Did you hear me?"

He snapped out of it, somehow turning more crimson. "Oh! Sorry… yeah! Let's listen."

Your nerves were off the charts. Some of these songs were so vulnerable. The ones at the end of the album were the most telling of all.

But as the two of you ate your dinners while listening to your new album, you began to relax. The night was filled with him giving praise and you giving background information on the meanings and production of the songs. 

"Are all the different instruments and harmonies played by you?"

"They are! The studio offered studio musicians but I had originally played them all when I wrote it and wanted to keep it a one woman show."

"You're incredible," Pedro said, shaking his head.

You blushed, for the billionth time today.

When it came to "Imaginary Love" Pedro grinned. "Hey I know this one! The one that started it all." 

"Yep!" You agreed and he began lip syncing to the lyrics dramatically. Little did he know, those lyrics were actually about him. You giggled as he acted out a soulful rendition of the chorus.

"You know, this whole journey has been a real rollercoaster and there have been times I've wished I hadn't posted that song..."

Pedro looked at you with that puppy dog look of his and you continued "but then I remember… that if I never posted it, I would've never started talking to you, and it makes it all worth it."

Pedro placed his hand on his heart and pouted his lip. "I agree. I'm glad to have met you. If I didn't love this song already, that alone would be enough reason for me to consider it one of my favorites.

You grinned and looked down at the table, suddenly feeling shy. The two of you continued to listen, having long finished your dinner. Conversation flowed easily, and you couldn't help but feel like you were on a date. Not that you had much experience with that, but from what you'd seen in movies and shows, this felt very date-like. And you didn't want it to end.

But as the album went on, you approached the last two songs. The ones you were scared of most. The most vulnerable of the album. 

The second to last began to play.

'It's hard to imagine craving something that I've never had.

Dumb to be so desperate for something I've gone without.

But when I'm alone and thinking to myself, I need it so bad.

I crave it like a drug, but one I know nothing about.

Your kiss on my lips, or any kiss at all.

It hasn't happened yet, no matter how hard I fall.

The years keep passing, but still no love.

The years go by, but still no kisses.

I keep wondering and praying up above,

I guess I'm unkissable, despite my wishes.'

Pedro furrowed his brow, looking at you, searching for something. He read the title of the song, "Unkissable," and looked up again, opening and closing his mouth to find the right words.

"Do-" he stopped himself and pondered his wording again. "Is- are all these songs true?"

You stared at the table, picking your nail against the wood. "Yes."

"You really believe that?"

"... I mean… I don't know… maybe… I guess…" you avoided his gaze, but could feel it.

"And you've never-"

"Kissed anyone before? No. I haven't."

"But you've wanted to?"

"Yes," you whispered, starting to feel tears prick at your eyes.

Pedro shifted his lips to the side in thought before finally saying "well… you're still young. It'll happen."

"I'm 26, Pedro. Most people have kissed by the time they've graduated high school. I just… missed the boat I guess. It's okay. I'm just being silly. I don't want it that bad. We can maybe listen to something else now."

"Hey, hey. Don't shut down on me," he asked pleadingly. "26 is still very young, and don't worry about whenever everyone else has done things. Everyone does things at their own pace. I'm sorry you haven't experienced it yet, especially when you want it so badly, but I know that when it does happen, it'll probably be better than any kiss you would've had with some 15 year old boy you would've had in high school."

You laughed, breaking your tears for a minute. "Thanks Pedro."

"Of course. And hey, don't think of yourself as unkissable. Any guy should be so lucky to be with you. Maybe the guy you wrote about in your song will be your first."

"Maybe… I hope so. Thank you."

While your heart bloomed at the kind words and prospect of maybe kissing Pedro in the future, Pedro's heart began to ache. Not only was he sad for you when you wanted love so desperately, but he also couldn't help but feel sad hearing you want to kiss another man. He wants to be that guy for you. He wasn't joking when he said any man would be lucky. But especially knowing now your true age, 22 years younger than him, he knew for sure your crush couldn't be him. You were way too young to be interested in a 48 year old man. He was silly for even entertaining the idea.

But at least he had a new friend. And as he thought longer, he thought about his best friend Sarah, and her relationship. They have a huge age gap, 32 years, but they're happy. And he's happy for her. It doesn't feel weird with them. Could he have that with you? Or is he in over his head?

The last song on the album began to play. This one was less vulnerable, but if he decided to look at the lyrics and notice patterns, he'd see it in the chorus. 

'People have a lot to say

Everyone loves or hates me

Don't know what I did today

Right now you're all I can see

Only want to be with you.

Please, love me too.'

You're sure the obsessive listeners will figure out the acrostic, and if Pedro looks up the lyrics, he might too. But either way, it's out there. All you can do is hope for the best and eventually you're sure it'll come out anyway.

 This wasn't one you were sure about putting on the album, but when the studio read through your personal songbook, they went insane over it. They figured it out quickly, and they promised they'd keep it to themselves. Luckily they have so far, but if money came calling, you think they'd sell your heart faster than you could say no.

The song, and album, came to a close and Pedro looked up at the screen once again, staring into your eyes. "Once again your music has blown me away."

Whether he put together the end or not, he wasn't letting on.

"Thank you Pedro. I really appreciate it. And thank you for tonight. It was truly special and I mean it when I say it's the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. You didn't have to go through all that trouble," you said thoughtfully.

"It was no trouble. You deserve congratulations for your album," Pedro replied with a smile.

Right.. it's just a congratulations. Nothing else. You sighed.

"Thank you. I'm really glad we did this. Talk again soon?" You asked.

"Absolutely. It was wonderful to meet you finally," Pedro said, finishing the sentence with your real name and smiling.

"It was great to meet you too, Pedro."

__________

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading.

Looking for more? Next chapter!

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibleywrites @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97

[chiefduckgarden]

The other woman

Wanda Maximoff x Williams!Reader

Natasha Romanoff x Williams!Reader

Royal AU

Angst - Cheating - Forced Marriage - If you love Natasha don't read this. (really)

Summary:

W: Young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes.

N: You can think that you're in love when you're really just engaged.

A/N: Reader's last name is Williams, it's easier to write this way. This has been in my drafts for months lol. I saw a Tik Tok edit of the Corpse Bride and thought of this. Still not sure about how it turned out though.

- Stop being so silly Y/N, you know I will miss you just as much as you're going to miss me - Wanda said smiling, her head resting on your chest while one of your hands rubbed her back up and down.

- I know, I just wish I could stay here with you, I don't care about this stupid trip, I'd rather be here for your birthday, for that giant celebration your father is planning - you said, looking down into her eyes.

- You've been here for each and every one of my birthdays since we were 12, nothing will happen if you miss this one, even if it's "especial", I understand you have to go with your parents - she replied.

You huffed.

- I don't even know why I have to go in the first place, they have always gone by themselves, I don't know why I'm required this time - you explained - And I don't like it either, they're up to something, I can feel it.

She cupped your cheek and pecked your lips.

- You're their only daughter, their only Princess, the only heir for their kingdom, maybe they want to give you more responsibilities from now on... You're gonna be Queen someday, it's time you get prepared for it...

- I've been preparing for it my whole life - you sighed - But you're right, maybe it's time for me to take it seriously.

You stared at her and smiled.

- And maybe I can talk to them in this trip about us - you said, and her eyes sparkled with illusion at your words - I'll tell them I'm marrying you, and we'll plan the proposal for when we get back.

- Are you serious my love? Will you ask my hand in marriage? - she asked happily.

- Of course I will, I want to spend the rest of my life by your side.

She kissed you and you smiled.

- Also, I have to beat that Jarvis Prince - you said - I've heard the rumors, but if I ask you first and you accept me, there will not be any reason for us to not get married.

- Your royal highness, it's time to leave, the King asked for your presence - you heard a voice calling for you.

- On my way - you replied.

- Come back to me my love, and have fun in your trip - Wanda said, kissing you one last time.

- I'll be back in no time, and then, it'll be just us, for eternity my lady.

- For eternity Y/N... - she replied.

------------

4 months later.

The King and the Queen of Williams Kingdom are happy to announce the engagement of their heir, Princess Y/N, with the noble Princess Natasha Romanoff.

The Royal Family announced the happy news during their stay in the Romanoff Kingdom.

This makes young Romanoff the future Queen to the rightful heir to the throne of Williams House. The union of this two families represents one of the most important alliances in the last decades, the two kingdoms will surely benefit from this marriage.

It seems like love has been in the air from some time now, let's remember just a month ago the Maximoff family announced the marriage of their youngest daughter Princess Wanda and the future King Vision Jarvis, on her 18th birthday celebration.

Good luck to these new happy couples and the best of luck for all of them.

--------

- Don't act like you didn't knew about it! You fooled me! - you screamed in exasperation pacing around the room with the newsletter in your hand.

- We didn't knew Maximoff would get the girl married so early, but yes, there's no reason to lie, we knew about the wedding - your father told you.

- It was all planned, wasn't it? This trip, meeting Natasha, Wanda's birthday celebration - you mentioned harshly - You played with us like we were chess pieces, you decided our lives without asking us anything...

- There was nothing to ask, your little teenage romance with Wanda was senseless, she was promised to Jarvis even before they were born... And you, we waited for the right girl to come to your life, for the perfect Queen for you to love... And that is Natasha...

- YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE THAT! THAT WAS MY CHOICE! - you screamed, you couldn't handle listen to him anymore.

- Well it's not! I am the King and I know what's best for you and for the kingdom! And as long as this crown is perched on my head you will obey each and every one of my orders, especially those orders that relate to the future of my legacy!

You took a step back, not believing what your father was saying.

- You're gonna marry Natasha Romanoff and get the biggest alliance in the history of our family and that's a direct order, not from your father, but from your King!

That was it. Those last words made you understand that, whatever you had left to say would be pointless. The King made a decision, and there was no turning back.

You lowered you head, and nodded.

- Yes, your Majesty.

Holding back the tears from your breaking heart you had the courage to ask for one more thing.

- Tell Natasha I'll meet her in our residence back at home, I need to travel now to talk with Wanda about this decision and finish everything in the best way possible. We're still friends, and for the sake of our friendship with the Maximoff House it would be wise to keep our alliance with them.

Your father took a few seconds to process your request but finally nodded.

- That's okay, you can go now.

Bowing down once more you left the room with tears already falling down your face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stopping your horse right in front of the small cabin placed in the middle of the woods your heart was pounding like crazy. When you made it inside and saw those beautiful green eyes it finally explode in love.

- Y/N! My love - she said the moment you walked in, running into your arms.

You hugged her immediately and both of you melted in a heated passion kiss after all those months separated.

- My lady... My Wanda... How you've been my love? I know life must have been hell for you just as it's been for me - you said, with your arms still around the girl.

- Oh you have no idea... They made me marry Vision the same day of my birthday, without warning. When I told my father it was you the one I loved he told me I was crazy - she started to cry - He said it was ridiculous because you were already engaged to another woman, promised to someone else. It broke my heart because I realized we had fallen in their trap my love, they made the choices for us.

- I know, I realized that too, and when I confront my father about it... - you gulped at the memory - He yelled at me like never before and command me to get marry, not as my father, but as my king.

Wanda whipped away a tear that was rolling down your cheek.

- I didn't know they were gonna announce an engagement until the day before. They gave me no choice - you said, now both of you were sitting in the edge of the bed.

- Is Natasha aware of your your displeasure? - she asked.

You shook your head.

- No, I don't think so, she was very excited when they announced the engagement... She thinks it's all genuine.

- Vision thinks as well, he thinks I want him... Even though I have refused to sleep with him...

You looked at her worried. Heartbroken. Not even you had dare to touch her in a passionate way.

- What are we going to do my love? They took everything from us, even our freedom...

She sighed.

- I don't know... I'm just sure I don't want us to end, we are soul mates Y/N, you are the love of my life... I don't care if you're married to someone else as long as I know I'm the only one for you... Because you're the only one for me...

- Wanda, in my world there's only you and then the rest of the people. I don't care about Vision or Natasha, we love each other and that is all that matters...

- But how are we going to make this work? They can get suspicious...

- We were best friends before this ridiculous circus started, and it doesn't have to change now... We just have to be careful on how we act... - you paused for a few seconds to cup her face - Although I don't think i could ever hide this love I feel for you, it's very intense...

She smiled at your words.

- Me neither, but we'll try our best... - she looked around the little comfy cabin you were in - And also, we will always have this place for us, only you and I know about it, it will keep our secret safe.

You nodded and kissed her. It became heated every second, until she was sitting on your lap and your arms were around her waist, holding her close to your body.

- Wanda... - you said in a whisper between kisses - We need to stop, or either way I will...

- Do it - she said looking straight into your eyes, her green big eyes now full of desire - Take me Y/N, make me yours, i want you to be my first...

You looked at her, the knot on your lower stomach increasing.

- Are you sure?

She didn't respond, with her lower lip trapped between her teeth she grabbed your hand and guided your palm to her breast. You squeezed it, causing her to moan.

- God... - you whispered.

With a quick flip you turned the position, now she was laid on the bed, with you on top.

- Make love to me, darling - she said.

That night, your affair got sealed with the intertwine of your bodies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- And this is the main room, it's spacious and comfortable for the two of us - you said to Natasha, showing your future bedroom - The right room it's for me, and the left side is yours Princess Natasha, and we have the common space room right in the middle.

Natasha nodded but frowned.

- Why do we have separate beds? I thought we were sharing the same bedroom...

You smiled shaking your head.

- Oh no, we'll have the same room but I would feel more comfortable with my own space - you said walking into your side - But feel free to redecorate the whole room, change whatever you like, even my side, just leave my closet as it is right now.

She followed you confused.

- Where are you going? - she asked - We have my parents' farewell dinner tonight, tomorrow they'll go home.

- I know, I will go play tennis with Princess Wanda and then I'll meet you at the dinner - you said, walking into your closet to change your clothes.

- Princess Wanda? Again? You went out with her last week.

- Yes, you know she's my best friend, we both play tennis every week, it's our favorite sport - you said.

Natasha nodded. She didn't understand the reason behind your distance, at first she thought it was because you didn't know her before your visit at her kingdom, but now, after spending some weeks with you and failed tries on bonding with you she was very confused.

- I'll see you later - you said, walking out from your closet and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

- Okay - she answered.

She spent the rest of the evening choosing the colors, the carpets and selecting fabrics for your new room. She was loving the result, but wishing you were there to help her out.

- Do you think Princess Y/N will like this color for her bed? - she asked her maid, showing her the color tone she had choose.

- Oh it's beautiful, she will love it - the woman answered.

Natasha smiled, really hoping you will like it.

- You've known the princess since she was a kid, right? - Romanoff asked the woman again.

- Yes, I've been working for the Royal Family since 15 years ago...

Natasha kept silent for some second before asking again.

- Do you know how close is Princess Y/N with Princess Wanda Maximoff? I know they're best friends but I'm just curious about their friendship...

- Oh they are very very close, they grew up together and used to make everything side by side... They had the same private tutors, a lot of sleepovers, they both love tennis...

Natasha nodded, not wanting to listen more, but the woman kept talking.

- Princess Y/N used to write a lot of letters for Princess Wanda, every week, and Princess Wanda wrote for her too, the letters should be somewhere in here, she keeps them very well preserved... They're very special for each other - the woman smiled at the memory.

Nat cleared her throat and left the fabrics on the bed.

- It's time for me to get ready for dinner, please take all this out of the room and bring the dress.

- Yes your royal highness - the woman said, following the instructions.

Once alone, Natasha made some deep thinking. She didn't want to create false scenarios in her head, but since she met you, you had done nothing but talk about Wanda and spend time with her.

But she didn't had the time to over think because you stepped in the room in that moment. The happiness in your face could be notice from a thousand miles away.

- Natasha? I thought you would be on your way to dinner already... - you said.

- Oh I lost track of time with the decorations and everything, my dress will be here in any minute - she answered, and you nodded - Also, I think our parents will expect to see us coming in together...

You sighed and walked into your side of the room.

- Yes, I think you're right, I'm gonna take a bath and get ready - you said.

Before you could leave she asked.

- How was tennis with Princess Wanda? I can see you're really happy.

You froze for a second but then raised your head with a small smile.

- Yes, it was really funny... It's always funny.

You started walked again but she stopped your tracks once more, making you tense immediately with her next words.

- Maybe you can teach me, I'll go with you next time.

You didn't say anything, just slightly nodded your head and walked out.

Natasha was afraid that maybe she was trying to force herself into your daily activities, she didn't want bother you in any way, or make you upset with her.

But when you meet her again in the car that night, suddenly your behavior towards her changed dramatically.

You treated her kind and lovely the whole night. For the first time she felt like she was your fiancé and not just some random stranger that came into your life.

But the fairytale broke down the moment you stepped into your house. You only said goodnight to her and leave to go to your bed.

She wondered what she could've possibly done to make you upset again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next weeks you kept your distance for her like before, only talking to her when it was necessary. And she was starting to get pissed.

- I just want to know what can I do to make you feel closer to me... I've been trying for weeks to connect with you but nothing ever change. Just tell me what's wrong, so we can fix it.

You've been arguing for the last twenty minutes, you told her you'd go to play tennis and she started to yell at you.

- There's nothing to fix, because nothing is wrong Natasha... I just have a hard time to open myself with new people...

- But I'm not new people, I'm your fiancé, we're gonna get married Y/N, let's start acting like a couple for once.

You sighed. Tired.

- What do you want me to do? I just don't feel comfortable yet...

- Oh but you're not even trying, everyday you find something to get yourself busy with, and your spare time goes all in tennis and Princess Wanda... When will you have time for me?

You heart stopped. How dare she to even pronounce Wanda's name.

- Wanda has nothing to do with this - you said, almost in a whisper.

- I know, I'm not blaming her for anything, I'm blaming you...

You were about to say something when the butler knocked the door.

- Excuse me ma'am, Princess Wanda Maximoff is here for the tennis practice, she's waiting for you in the main hall.

You fixed your messy clothes and answered.

- Thanks, tell her I'll be with her in a minute.

- Yes your royal highness.

The butler left, leaving you and Natasha alone again.

- I need to go - you said, without looking at her.

- I know - she contained the tears - Just leave, I also need to go, I'm having tea with your mother later.

You nodded and walked out, with her following you some steps behind.

When you made it to the first floor your bad mood changed completely at the sight of your lover.

- Wanda, it's so nice to see you! Ready for tennis? - you asked, kissing her right hand and cheeks.

- Yes, let's go! - she replied.

When two guards followed you she quickly stopped them.

- Oh we're taking the horses, no need for security, just two best friends riding and playing... The Princess and I will be fine.

- Yes, don't worry, I'll be back in a few hours - you completed.

- Of course ma'am - your guards nodded.

Natasha saw the whole interaction, her eyes burning in jealousy. She knew Wanda was your best friend, but her instincts were screaming her something was off. She decided to ask your mother that afternoon.

--------------------------

- Oh dear lord! - Wanda screamed in pure bliss, three of your fingers buried deep inside her intimacy, you leaving small kisses all along her jaw and neck.

- Go on my lady, let me see you reach euphoria once more...

- Yeah... - she panted - Take me to heaven again Y/N, just keep doing that...

Your moans were hidden by the walls of the small cabin.

- Y/N... I'm gonna...

You felt her orgasm crash on your fingers, her wetness dripping down your hands and rolling down her thighs.

- Wanda... - you panted, taking the three fingers to your mouth - Oh God... - you moaned - You're so magical...

She smiled at you, wasting no time and kissing you as deep as she could, tasting herself in your mouth.

A few moments later you were both tangled in each other's arms, resting after your love making evening.

- Oh how I wish I could wake up every day inside your arms - she said with her head resting on your chest.

- I know, I would make love to you every morning and every night... I would take care of your sleep, watch you fall asleep into my arms, giving a goodnight kiss in the forehead...

A tear rolled down her face.

- We would be happy...

You nodded.

- Yes... So happy.

She stared at you for some seconds before speaking again.

- Are you happy? - she asked.

- What do you mean? You know I'm not - you answered, confused.

- I know, but you have a wife, Princess Natasha is beautiful... Have you bonded with her already?

You denied, shaking your head.

- Not really, I spend all my time doing my duties and my spare time I spend it with you...

She smiled sheepishly.

- Has she notice your absence?

You sighed.

- Yeah, just this morning before you came we were arguing about it... She wants me to spend more time with her...

- Same with Vision - she said - He wants me to go with him in this trip he's having next month... I don't think I'll can refuse

You blink confused.

- Does that mean I will not see you? For how long?

Your heart shredded.

- Three weeks...

- Oh...

She immediately sensed your mood change.

- But I will came back to you... Like always.

- I know... I trust you, I don't trust Vision though...

- Don't worry, no matter what happens I will always be yours.

- I'll always be yours too.

- Take this time to be with Natasha, calm her down and win her trust, it's your wife after all.

You sighed and nodded.

- I'll do whatever you ask me to... - you said kissing her hand.

She fell silent for a few moments. You turned to look at her and saw in her expression what was happening. She was thinking… processing something.

- What's wrong, my love? - you asked - What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?

She looked into your eyes, gazing at you for a moment before speaking.

- I want you to marry Natasha during my absence… I need you to seal your commitment to her while I'm not here. If I'm not present, I won't have to attend to the wedding, and I won't have to endure the pain of seeing you marry someone else… If you don't do it within those weeks, I'll be forced to attend your wedding, and I… I don't think I can bear it, Y/N… I won't be able to.

She was right. Due to your trip to the Romanoff realm, you didn't have to be present at Wanda's sudden wedding. You didn't have to go through the pain of seeing her standing at the altar with someone else. It wouldn't be fair to her to see you with Natasha.

You nodded and kissed her forehead. Both of you were crying, and you held her hand.

- I promise I will - you said - For you, Wanda. I just want you to know that even if it's Natasha to whom I vow love and eternal devotion at the altar, my words and my heart will always belong to you and only you.

That evening, you returned home with a heavy heart. But to your misfortune, the tragedies wouldn't stop that day. As soon as you passed through the grand and elegant door adorning your entrance, you saw your father's guards waiting. That only meant he was visiting, and that couldn't be good.

- Your Royal Highness - a man bowed before you - Your Majesty, King Williams is in the main study waiting for you.

You surveyed your surroundings before responding. Everything was in overwhelming silence. You looked for your butler and inquired - Is Princess Natasha at home?

- No, Your Highness, Princess Natasha is still visiting the royal palace with the queen, your mother," he responded.

You took a deep breath - I see - you cleared your throat - I will speak with my father right away. If the princess returns home, please notify me immediately. It is of the utmost importance that I speak with her.

You turned and made your way to the study. With every step you took, you could feel your heart beating stronger. You knew what was coming. As soon as you crossed that door, your father would reproach you for not paying enough attention to Natasha. You were nervous about the reprimand, but it was somewhat reassuring to know that this time you had an answer to his accusations.

- Your Majesty - you spoke, but he didn't look at you - To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Father? - You walked over and took a seat across from him. It was only then that you noticed his cold gaze.

- I'm afraid my visit won't bring you any pleasure, Y/N - he said - Your wife paid a visit today to your mother; they had tea together.

- I'm aware of that, Natasha mentioned it this morning - you said, trying to sound confident.

- My question here is, where were you? - he asked.

- I played tennis with Princess Wanda most of the afternoon, and we went riding for a while. I lost track of time between the game and our conversation... - you explained but your father interrupted you.

- Natasha told us where you were… She also mentioned some more interesting things about those little escapades of yours with Princess Wanda… I didn't like what I heard at all, Y/N - he said.

- Father, Wanda and I…- you began, but he interrupted.

- Wanda and you are no more, it ended the moment she got married and you became engaged - he shouted - Don't you understand? Natasha suspects you and Wanda, she has doubts about her marriage, this is very serious, Y/N. It could trigger political problems and destabilize our marriage agreements with her kingdom. As the heir to this realm, you have a responsibility to your people and to me. I cannot allow your actions to jeopardize our political stability. It's important that you maintain a strong relationship with Natasha and avoid any suspicion about your relationship with Wanda.

- There is nothing between Wanda and me, Father… we had something in the past, as you well know, but now she is married. It hasn't been easy for me, but I believe it's time to stabilize the situation. Wanda will be going on a trip with Prince Jarvis, and today we discussed my wedding. She encouraged me to get married as soon as possible to reassure Natasha about our marriage… I want to have the wedding in two weeks - you explained.

- Is that so… - he looked at you, analyzing - Well, so be it. Let's not delay any further. As soon as I return to the palace, I will inform your mother about your decision, and we will proceed with the necessary preparations. There's no turning back from this.

- You may think you've appeased me with your sudden decision to marry, but you can't deceive me, Y/N. The matters you have with Wanda… put an end to them. I am giving you the opportunity to do it on your terms. Remember that you are the heir; you must find a way to balance your personal feelings with your responsibilities as the future queen. I don't want to take drastic measures, but if you can't control this situation, I will have to intervene… and then I assure you, you will never see Wanda again - he warned.

Your father left your home, and the next morning, the entire kingdom was aware of your wedding. Natasha was in total ecstasy. As soon as you informed her of the date, she kissed you fervently and headed to the palace to begin preparations for your wedding.

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't muster a spark of excitement. You seemed like a walking corpse. But your father's threats echoed in your mind, and you forced yourself to be the perfect fiancée for Natasha. In front of people, you looked like the ideal couple, planning the dream wedding together. But deep inside, you were dying to leave it all behind and run into Wanda's arms.

After two weeks that felt like an eternity, the day finally arrived. You were just hours away from getting married. Natasha was getting ready at the palace with her mother, while you prepared in the privacy of your home.

In that intimate moment, you allowed yourself to write a letter to Wanda, letting your heart speak and conveying all your love and devotion for her. When you finished, you placed it in the pocket of your shirt, right over your heart, and prepared to leave. You would find a way to deliver it to her later.

The moment had come. The entire kingdom was waiting. Natasha, her parents, and your parents were all there. It seemed like the most meticulously planned event of the year, with nothing missing. But to you, everything was missing because even though you were about to get married, the love of your life was not there.

The ceremony had passed quickly. You felt like your soul had left your body, but it was your turn to speak.

- Dear Natasha...

Wanda, thousands of kilometers away, knew what was happening. Her heart ached at the thought of you becoming someone else's wife today. She only found peace in remembering your words, knowing that any promise you made to Natasha today would truly be for her.

- Today, before all the witnesses from our respective kingdoms, I make this sacred commitment. I promise to be loyal and faithful in body and spirit, and always honor the alliance we have forged, an alliance that in my heart is deeper than others may understand. On sunny days and in dark nights, I will stand by your side, fulfilling the duties entrusted to us. I promise to be your unwavering support, your confidante, and your closest friend, even when our differences challenge us. Though our paths may seem divergent, in my heart, you will always be present. May our souls find solace in this commitment, and may our union, despite the hardships, shine as a beacon of hope in this realm. May the love I have for you, though I may not openly name it, guide my actions and thoughts as we fulfill our destiny. May our marriage, though not the one we would have chosen, be a source of strength and wisdom for us both. So I promise, with all the sincerity and respect you deserve.

Natasha smiled. You both kissed. Wanda cried. You cried. You touched your chest, where Wanda's letter resided, and smiled despite the tears.

When the wedding was over and you and Natasha were back home, you couldn't make love to her. You touched her, yes. She felt loved, yes. But you didn't feel anything. Your body belonged to Wanda. You didn't let Natasha touch you. As soon as it was over, you headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

Natasha, savoring the last moments of innocence, believing that you were completely hers, took your shirt in her hands to smell your perfume once more. She loved your scent. But as she brought the garment to her nose, she felt the stiffness of paper in her hands. Curiously, she took the letter from the pocket, and in a matter of seconds, everything fell apart.

There, in her hands, was the proof of your eternal love for Wanda. A letter, written a couple of hours ago, before joining your life with hers, where you professed your eternal devotion to another woman.

My Wanda:

As I write these words, my heart is filled with a love that cannot be contained or constrained by the circumstances surrounding us. In the dark hours leading up to my forced marriage, I want you to know that my love and devotion belong to you, and you alone.

Although the world has forced us down different paths, and we are destined to marry others, I want you to know that my heart will always be yours. Our love is a fire that burns deep within me, a fire that no arranged marriage can extinguish.

Every moment we share, every stolen glance, every whispered word in secret, is a treasure in my memory that I hold dear with all my being. You are the light that brightens my life, the reason I smile amidst the darkness of our situation.

Though words cannot fully express the magnitude of what I feel for you, I want you to know that I am willing to face whatever is necessary to protect our love, even if it means sacrificing some of my own happiness. I am bound by word and paper, but my body, mind, soul, and heart will always belong to you.

No matter what the future holds for us, rest assured that you will always be my love, my confidante, and my deepest longing. Our love is a secret that only we share, a bond that no one can break.

When I stand at the altar, reciting my vows to someone I did not choose, rest assured that my heart will beat for you and only you, as I promised. I will keep our love in a special and safe place in my heart, dreaming of the future that was stolen from us, where we are together without restrictions.

With all my love and devotion, always yours.

Y/N.

There, Natasha knew it. There was no turning back. She had married someone who didn't love her. You weren't hers, and you never would be.

As soon as you emerged from the bathroom, you saw Natasha holding the letter in her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew.

- Natasha...

- You lied to me.

- No, I didn't lie to you… My father forced me… they separated us, Natasha.

- All this time, I've been a fool… and you! - she pointed at you, shouting, crying inconsolably - How could you deceive me like this?

- You don't understand, you never will. It was never my intention to hurt you, Natasha…

- You've betrayed me, Y/N… you married me while all this time you were thinking about your mistress - Natasha cried.

At that moment, you lost your temper. You would never let anyone speak of Wanda in such a way.

- Don't speak of her like that. Wanda is not to blame. Don't ever say her name again… never - you asserted.

She laughed bitterly, wiping the tears from her face - It is what it is, Y/N, nothing more than your mistress…

It was then that you shouted - Don't you understand? You are the other woman in all of this… she and I were happy, she's the love of my life. Until they forced us apart. Titles don't matter, Natasha. She will always be my priority. YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN.

- NO! You are married to me! She is the other woman - Natasha shouted back.

You ran your hand through your hair in desperation. You sat down on the bed with your hands on your face. Natasha was crying, standing.

- I don't love you, Natasha. My father forced me to marry you. The day I saw Wanda for the last time, she asked me to have the wedding as soon as possible. I only moved forward with the plans because she requested it. You must understand that there is no one else for me but her.

Natasha looked at you, heartbroken.

- My kingdom needs yours for its resources; our union is the largest and most important due to the size of your realm. On the other hand, you need my kingdom for our reserves, as long as you are married to me, there will be stability. This marriage benefits us all, and I need us to cooperate to provide the peace our people deserve.

You explained, and she knew it was true.

- The kingdom of Wanda is small; it didn't serve much purpose to unite us. Besides, her parents had promised her hand to Prince Jarvis since she was born. We had everything against us, Natasha. We still have everything against us - you said - I'm sorry that I can't be the partner you desire, but unfortunately, the story of my life was written long before I met you. I belong to Wanda, and Wanda belongs to me. You need me, and I need you. The union is done, but you must know that I can't love you as you desire, I never will.

By this point, Natasha was just sobbing. You got up from the bed and walked to your side of the room.

- We have breakfast with our families tomorrow. We must be at the palace at nine o'clock.

You left the room, and your body felt more relaxed. You wouldn't have to pretend anymore.

Time passed, and Wanda returned from her trip. As soon as she set foot on land, she ran to find you at the cabin. She tearfully told you that Jarvis had been with her. He wanted an heir. With desperation and desire, you claimed her body for hours.

Months later, when her son was born, Natasha and you visited the couple in their palace. Wanda smiled as she showed you the little one. He was so much like Wanda that you cried with emotion. In that small moment when you held little Tommy, and Wanda sang to him beside you, you allowed yourself to dream of what could have been. The future and happiness that were denied to you. For a brief moment, you pretended that this was your little family. And you cried. You cried for everything that was taken from you.

Natasha, who watched everything from afar, finally understood. Wanda and you loved each other and would love each other forever. She could never compete with her.

She was just another piece in the chessboard that life played. She couldn't do anything else but resign herself. In the end, no one was happy. Not her. Not you. Not Wanda. Everyone was miserable because of someone else's desires. But that's how life was, and like the others, she had to accept it.

[zvdvdlvr]

Hey I was wondering if I could request some relationship headcanons for Ponyboy or/and ( what ever you feel more comfortable with lol)Johnny. I get it if you don't wanna lol

❤️

─ dating ponyboy curtis headcanonz

☆ - warnings :: physical injury, alcohal, (past) self harm, past major character deaths, pet names, vague mention of a physical fight,

☆ - k.j.'s diary says... i might die if i don't have my own ponyboy michael curtis

𖥸 antici-

before johnny and dally died, pony would never find the balls to talk to you, especially if you're a Soc

honestly wouldn't be to picky about looks but if you're a looker than even better 🤷‍♀️

but anyway, pony is super closed off after his friends' deaths

if you were dating hefore he went missing, then chances are he'll only talk to you at first

general dating HC's:

super cuddly in private

not big on PDA: hand holding, linked pinkes, arm-in-arm, a kiss on the cheek... that's about it

but when you're at the house or alone you already know ponyboy is gonna be lovin' on you like no tomorrow ♡

lowkey into pet names, specifically sweetheart, darlin', baby, angel

absolutely melts if you called him pet names too

loves when you where his clothes, it makes him feel proud to know you feel safe and protected enough to wear his- his!- clothes

private relationships >>> secret relationships

ponyboy would only really tell the gang about being with someone only when he knew you were a good thing for him

that would be about... a year into your relationship

pony's slowly learning to be a kid again after everything he saw and did, so never rush him or push him to talk about 'those days' unless he comes to you first

loves forhead kisses

writes down lines from books and poems and songs that remind him of you

made a playlist or twelve he plans to give to you someday, maybe after you get married (if that's something you both want)

you and the gang are what keeps him going. make sure that you tell/show him that he's okay and you see how good of a person he is. ponyboy curtis needs reassurance.

loves little spooning almost as much as he loves big spooning

honestly a cuddlebug

like pony is just so soft and warm he just ugh.,&@(

would ask you to help him bleach his hair again when the original color started showing :( <3

the rest of the gang would love you because you keep the curtis brothers intact and well. that's a lot to say most days

would get in a fight for u even if it meant going to jail

always goes straight to you after a fight

after all, you're his home, his person, his love

if anyone can take care of him: it's you

the first 'i love you' was from him

after a fight he was getting cleaned up by you

you were both in the living room, occasionally glancing over at darry and soda to make sure they were still breathing (they both got concusions) and were about to wake both of them up when pony stopped you

"i love you, y/n. i love you. you don't have to day it back or anything, i just- i just wanted to tell you."

you softened, and gingerly tilted his head up to place a soft kiss on his lips

"i know, sweet boy. i love you too."

manz was purring fr

-pation 𖥸

[valeriele3]

Have another TWST and Enstars crossover (kinda)

Dorm Leaders + Jamil

Your friends remind you of another friend from back home

Riddle:

“Hey Riddle, I just noticed..You look a lot like a friend from back home”

“I do..?”

“Mhm! His name is Tsukasa Suou! He looks almost exactly like you! Except his eyes are a different color and he doesn’t have your uh heart ahoge”

“I see..Tell me, is he a follower of rules?”

“Uhm..I guess? I mean he is a knight so..”

Leona:

“Y’know..You forcing me to let you sleep on my lap reminds me of someone dear to me back in my world..”

“…”

“You remind me a lot of Ritsu. He’s very veryyy dear to me..He would basically sleep 24/7 and whenever he saw me he would force me to sleep and cuddle with him. If not that then he’ll use me as a pillow”

“Huh? H-Hey Leona where’re you going??”

Leona leaving you because he’s jealous about this Ritsu and it put him in a bad mood(Leona’s annoyed lol)

Azul:

“Sigh..You and Ibara would get along nicely”

“Who?”

“A businessman who also likes to suck up to people”

Kalim:

“Hey Kalim, thank you..”

“Hm? For what?”

“For making me feel at home..You too Jamil”

“Eh?” (He was secretly hiding in the shadows)

“Oh! Jamil! You were here the whole time?!”

“..No comment on that”

“Anyways, what’d you mean “thank you?””

“You guys just remind me a lot of two of my friends back home..”

“Their names are Subaru Akehoshi and Hokuto Hidaka”

“Kalim’s energy and personality is just like Subaru and Jamil’s demeanor reminds me of Hokuto”

“Especially because of how you always take care of Kalim..It’s just like how Hokuto keeps Subaru in check..Well, as best as he can at least since Subaru can just somehow rope you into his problems—”

Vil:

“Sigh..I get it..! Please stop nagging me so much Vil”

“Hah? Nagging you? I’m just telling you to take better care of yourself”

“I swear it’s like Izumi came here with me..Sigh..”

“And who is this Izumi you speak of?”

“A friend although he feels more like a mom for always nagging me to take better care of myself..Or more specifically my skin”

“Now that I think about it, you guys would get along so well because of your obsession with looking good or somethin’..”

“Seems like a person who understands the importance of beauty. And, fix your way of speaking! It’s ‘something’ not ‘somethin’.

“It looks like Epel has been influencing you in a bad way. You aren’t allowed to see him anymore”

“Wha— Hey! You can’t do that!”

“I’m afraid I can darling”

Idia:

“Idia~ Come..Hang..Outtt with me..!” (You’re trying to drag him out of his room)

[Insert Panicked scream] “No! I don’t wanna..!”

“Staying inside 24/7 is bad for you! You need to get under the sun at least once in a while..!” (Don’t worry Idia I’m like that irl)

[Insert a picture of you trying to drag Idia out and him desperately hanging onto his bed]

“Oh!” [Accidentally drops Idia on the ground]

“If you don’t want to go outside that bad then..How about this? You can just use the vents to travel from place to place!”

“Huh..? W-What gave you that crazy idea..”

“Hm? Don’t worry it’s probably safe! A close friend of mine likes to travel around the place using the vents!”

“He even uses the vents in my room to spy on me every night” You wholeheartedly smile and laugh at the thought like it isn’t weird at all

‘What the heckkkk..That’s a different kind of weird..! That’s straight up creepy’ Idia is going a thousand miles a minute inside his mind right now

“C’mon..! You can be like Mayoi!”

“Is that what that creeps name is..?” Idia whispers to himself but you still heard it

“HAH?! DID YOU JUST CALL MAYOI A CREEP?! 💢💢”

[Insert Idia’s scream again] “N-NO! I DIDNT..!”

“Good” :))

“Now let’s go! Let us brave through this storm called life!”

Malleus:

“Heheh..I have a feeling you’ll get along well with a friend of mine back home Tsunotaro!”

“Oh?”

“I’m sure Nagisa would love to talk to you someday..! Maybe when I get back home I’ll introduce you to him”

“I see. Well if the child of man says so then I mustn’t refuse”

Malleus is thinking that maybe if he gains Nagisa’s favor Nagisa will allow you to date him. After all it’s good to have points from your close ones right? And if you mentioned this Nagisa then surely that person is close to you

Sorry about the other’s parts like Azul and Idia I couldn’t really think what to write for their part

[written-in-flowers]

After Tonight...(AemondxReader)

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x plussize!reader

Genre: Smut, fluff, childhood friends to lovers,

Word Count: 4k 

Warnings! :oral sex (m and f receiving/giving), fingering, gagging, slight choking, creampie, roleplay(?), multiple orgasms. 

Summary: After a false compliment reignites tensions, you confront your husband about his actions. He confronts you about something else.

A/N: finally, a fic of my own design! Lol, it’s really just smut tbh. Hope you guys like it, and feedback’s always appreciated <3 

****

“How could you say something like that? In front of those people? Are you mad?” 

You rounded on him the moment you sent your servants away. Aemond stood on the other side of the room, pouring himself a cup of wine and taking a drink. You wanted to smack it from his hand. You took in your husband’s cool and collected demeanor from across the room. Long silver hair tossed back over his shoulders, a glint of amusement in his single pale blue eye made you even more upset. 

“Is this amusing to you?” you asked, glaring at him. “Do you find it amusing that you’ve broken any form of peace we might’ve had with-”

“-Oh, what peace, Y/N? Those people have no desire for peace with us,” he said, continuing to drink and not looking at you. “Did you see their faces?” he asked in a chuckle, malice glinting in his eye. “Hilarious.”

“It was not hilarious,” you retorted. “Your father asked for all of us to sup together and make amends. It’s the only way to stop all this infighting and squabbling. Rhaenyra will be queen someday whether you like it or not. Your father named her heir to the throne. I think it’d be best if we started meding bonds with her instead of burning them, before she decides-”

“-My father named her heir before he had Aegon,” he replied coolly, standing by the table, firm and still with his feet apart. “He didn’t think he'd remarry until he married my mother. He had no choice. The realm forced his hand, so he named her his heir. Then he had Aegon, and Aegon should’ve become his rightful heir. Her and her Strong boys have taken that from us.”

‘Strong boys’. The two words that ignited the kindling fires beneath the table. You scoffed, shaking your head, “Do not pretend as if that is what made you act, Aemond,” you snorted. “All because the boy laughed in your direction?” you saw his pointed avoidance of your gaze. “Luke wasn’t laughing at you, Aemond. He was laughing at the pig.”

“No, he was laughing at you.” You heard the growl in your husband’s voice. “That little bitch Rhaena muttered something to him, looked at you, and laughed. I won’t tolerate it.” 

You should’ve expected as much. Many boys at court poked fun at you for your size. You’d always had your wide hips, thick thighs, fatty arms and stomach since you were small. Your mother thought sending you to court might curb your appetite, but anxiousness made you eat more. You’ve tried. You honestly had, if not for yourself then for Aemond. Tough, strong, intimidating warriors like him should have pretty, slim wives who light up rooms with their smiles and are the envy of everyone at court. He never cared what other people said; you tried feeling the same, yet the creeping sensation that you simply weren’t enough came. Prince Aemond Targaryen could have his pick of any woman in Westeros, but, instead he married you. The girl Aegon, Jace and little Luke made jokes about behind her back. You pushed aside these feelings, poured your own wine and forced yourself to swallow it. 

“The jests of a boy mean nothing to me.” You hesitated, brief flashes of memories coming to you. 

You recalled the roasted pig the servants placed in front of you both. Yes, how witty. So witty. You rolled your eyes. It reminded you of the Pink Dread they’d presented Aemond with in their youth. A large pig they’d gotten from the pen with dragons wings tied to its sides, Aemond told you about it during a walk you took together. He’d initially had trouble taming a dragon to bond with. All the Targaryens ride dragons, and your husband suffered teasing and bullying for not having his own. You supposed the Pink Dread coupled with being betrothed to you caused double the damage. 

A sinking feeling came through your chest as the realization came. How must it feel for you? Jace and Luke only laughed whenever Aegon made snide comments about you. They’d done worse to Aemond. They’d blinded him. You couldn’t imagine the pain it must’ve brought him seeing them again after so many years. Instant guilt filled your stomach, taking up any room your wine might’ve filled. 

“I’m sorry, my love,” you said, looking into your cup. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. After all the cruel jokes and then what happened with your eye…” you shook your head, “I’m being so selfish.”

You felt his eyes on you as you looked away from him. People often stared at Aemond when he walked into rooms. They saw him as a sort of monster, to be feared and never approached. So, he played into that. He became a fierce warrior and battle tactician. You knew he overheard the men in the training yard: “Aemond would’ve made a great fighter, but that eye’s gonna work against him”. He hated the stares. He hated the whispers. You worried that dinner would set him off, but you’d insisted you both attend. You’d seen him grinding his teeth, and staring daggers into the two boys in front of him. Gentle squeezes of his hand, and reassurances did nothing to calm your husband’s simmering anger. He never forgave easily, and he never forgot a slight whether real or imagined. 

“I’m sorry I pushed you to go to dinner,” you said. “I knew it’d be difficult for you, but it’s the last supper we might ever have with your father, and I knew it’d make him happy to have you there. I should’ve suggested we leave or use one of the children as a reason to-”

“-I’m not upset we went. I’m glad. You have nothing to apologize for, Wife.” 

‘Wife’. The word still held sway over you six years and two children later. 

“You look beautiful tonight,” he told you, softness and love behind his words. You heard him step over to you, stopping until he was inches away from you. “This dress…” you felt warm hands start at your hips and slide up your sides, kneading at the rolls there, “Did you mean to tempt me with it?”

A slight warmth came to your cheeks. You’d worn a dress of dark blue-green silk with gold embroidered birds, flowers and vines along the seams. You admitted it was a bit lower cut than you’d originally intended. Your bosom pushed against the neckline, but you managed to not let it spill over. Sitting on his good eye’s side, he would’ve seen you perfectly. You’d tied up your hair with the silver comb Aemond gifted you for your nameday. It matched the sapphire he wore in place of his missing eye. He said he liked it when your jewels matched his. Had you worn it hoping it’d stir desire in your husband? Yes. Always. You hoped in vain it might distract him from any rash actions he might make. 

“You know how much I love this gown,” you said innocently. “It’s one of my favorites.”

“Or,” he brushed his lips against your ear, “You wanted me to rip it from you and ravage you as I do whenever you wear it…”

You giggled, but simply stayed in his arms as he began kissing at your neck. Nimble fingers deftly untied your dress. “You better hope your father doesn’t hear what you said tonight,” you said, knowing he wasn’t really listening, “He’ll be so upset.”

“I only paid them a compliment,” he replied, pushing your sleeves down your arms. “It’s not my fault if they think they’re not strong.”

“That is not what you meant, and you know it,” you accused. 

“It is no secret what they are,” he said. “You’ve seen them.”

Yes, you have seen them. Jacaryes and Luceryes should’ve had the dark skin of their Velaryon father or the coloring of their silver-haired Targaryen mother. Instead, the two princes had brown hair and dark eyes; much like that of Harwin Strong, the former commander of the city watch. The sworn sword and champion of Princess Rhaenyra. But, nobody dared to say it out loud; it was an act of treason. For your husband to say it, even laced in a false compliment, soured things quickly. You had no real love for their family, but you’d promised your mother-in-law you’d keep things civil. You congratulated Rhaena and Baela on their betrothals to Jace and Luke. You asked Jace how his Valryian lessons were coming along, and asked Baela about going on at Driftmark. You wanted to be friends with them, putting aside the bitter memories of your youth. 

Once your dress fell at your feet, Aemond worked on the lacings of your undergarments. The thin layer of cloth kept Aemond’s hands from your delicate skin. You could feel every digit caressing your body, molding it and pressing on points he knew made you gasp. You turned to face him, staring into his face and seeing the lust in his eyes. Carefully, you cupped his cheek. Your thumb grazed over the scar peeking out from his eyepatch. He only wore it when at court, to not disturb the other ladies who might be more squeamish. It never bothered you. You lifted his eyepatch off. He flinched for a brief moment, but a gentle touch of your hand calmed him. In the eye socket where a pale blue eye should be, was a dark sapphire. The jeweler who’d made it rounded it to resemble an eye, but Aemond asked for it to remain its natural color. 

“I remember thinking you’d die,” you huffed a laugh. “The wound was so terrible and bled so much.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” he said. “I got Vhagar in return.” He paused, “I got you.”

Heat came around your neck and cheeks again, bringing on a smile. You remember the moment vividly. The morning after his injury he'd come to your quarters at Driftmark. Unannounced, uninvited, the prince stood in your chambers, pale and silver with determination on his face. Claiming his own dragon brought out a fire in him that never went out. You recalled studying him there. You’d gotten wounds of your own, little scratches and cuts, but nothing compared to his pain. The stark contrast of the stitched wound on his ivory skin was more shocking in the morning light. You somewhat liked the effect. 

‘My prince, you should be resting.’

‘There is something I wanted to tell you, my lady, before we depart home.’

‘What is it?’

“An absurd thing for a twelve-year-old boy to say,” you said softly, unbuckling his belt from his waist. You unbuttoned his doublet and lifted it off him. “‘I have my dragon’,” you quoted, “‘Now, I want my wife.’ I believe that is what you said.”

“And I got you,” he said, pecking your lips. “I told my mother I would never want another girl. No girl would do for me what you did that night.”

“Blatantly lie to the king about what happened in the tunnel?” 

“No…defend me.”

You did recall tearing Rhaena off Aemond as she and the others began hitting him. The both of you tussled around on the ground, pulling at each other’s hair and scratching each other’s faces. You’d never fought before, but your weight and size certainly worked in your favor. Her sister eventually joined the fray, pulling you off to punch at you, but the three of you stopped once Jace pulled out his blade. 

“I never thought I’d have anyone on my side,” he said, “But you were there. You always are. You tore at them. You hit them. You made them pay, in what little way you could. Then you told my father they attacked us. You defended me.”

“And I’d do it again, if I had to.”

Sliding his hand on the nape of your neck, he brought you to his lips. The taste of the vintage wine lingered on both your tongues, sweetening the already heated kiss. You untied the fastenings of his clothes, removing them piece by piece until nothing separated you. His hard body stoked a fire inside you. You ran your hands down his chest to his stomach, finally landing just above his cock. A low rumble from his chest beckoned you to keep going as he pressed himself to you. Warm, with the faint smell of violets lingering on his skin from his clothes, you fell further into your bliss as his hands slipped down your waist to your backside. Plump and soft, his hands kneaded them so that you whimpered against his lips. 

“I liked it,” you said between kisses, running your hand over his member and feeling it twitch on your palm. 

“Liked what?” he asked. He brought one hand up to your breast, palming it and squeezing gently. 

You broke your lips from his, licking his bottom lip, “Watching you mock them. I liked seeing their eyes flicker with fear when you stood up, staring them down with that hard look of yours.” You grabbed his shaft just to hear him grunt, “Being the strong, clever, slightly intimidating man you’ve become. I’ll admit,” you slowly began pumping him, watching his head roll back, “It aroused me for a moment.”

“I know,” he smirked, eyes still closed. “I know it isn’t by chance that you end up in the training yard some mornings.”

“I quite enjoy watching you fight. I always have. I love my strong,” you pecked at his neck, “Handsome,” you pecked the other side, “Clever husband who fucks me like a whore and treats me like a queen.”

“Which would you like tonight?” he suddenly grabbed your hair and yanked it, “A whore or a queen?”

“You’re a smart man,” you brought him over to the bed and straddled a corner, “You figure it out.”

His cock at level with you, you carefully lifted it to your mouth and slid your tongue underneath. Aemond did not respond with anything except a soft sigh. You kept your eyes on him as you licked him from base to tip, and then back down. Veins pump blood into his member, which pulsates against the flat of your tongue each time you traced over them. Blond hair curtaining his face, the shade darkened his features leaving his sapphire eye standing out more. You didn’t focus on it. You focused on the pink, bulbous tip that gradually turned red when you swirl your tongue around it. By the time you slid him into your mouth, moaning softly, Aemond’s hands already grasped your hair. He did not force you down immediately; he let you start the pace, enjoying your lips sucking his throbbing cock. Hands grasping his muscled thighs, you kept yourself steady while you slid him towards your throat. 

You only ever told one person where you learned the intimate art of love making. It was considered unbecoming and inappropriate for a noble lady to wander into a brothel disguised as a street urchin to watch the women there pleasure their customers. You never let yourself be touched, yet you’d observed at a hefty price. Aemond nearly choked on his wine when you revealed it to him on your wedding night. Yet, he quickly got over his shock when you laid him back and let you show him what you learned. You never fully mastered taking it to the back of your throat like some women did, but Aemond never pressed you. He stood there and let you practice on him sometimes after training or dinner. He gave a low groan when his tip pressed there, the groan mixing with your soft choking each time you did it. You massaged your thumbs into his inner thighs, close to his ballsack; his hips pushed into your face slightly at the new sensation. The longer you went on, the needier your husband became. Soon, he fisted your hair to keep you still so he stuck himself further into your throat. You let him guide you along his considerable length, your own sex beginning to ache for his touch. He saw you start to slip your hand between your thighs before he snatched it by the wrist. Without a word, he took both your wrists and held them at his sides to bring you forward. 

“The only person,” he grunted, “Who touches your cunt is me.”

His words made your clit throb again. You slowly grind your hips into the bed, which he seemed to allow so you could whimper around his cock. You imagined him throwing you onto the bed, forcing your legs apart and taking you however he wanted. The strength and formidable aura he oozed at the dinner table came back to you. How he’d stared coldly at Jace when he stood up at the table, angry with Aegon for his crude comments to Baela. How he sparred with Ser Cole earlier in the day, moving quick and precise in each maneuver. You wished to feel him everywhere. You wanted to feel the hard muscles and lines of his body; feel his heart beating faster while you rode him. You tried saying his name with your mouth full, a thing you knew he enjoyed. He laughed when he heard your muffled words. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, laughing in his tone, “What was that?” You pleaded his name again, rocking your hips more and more for some form of friction. “Is there something you need?”

He slid himself far enough that his tip laid on your tongue still, and you said, “Your tongue, my prince. Your tongue,” you licked the underside, “Your fingers, your cock. Please, Your Grace.” 

“Hm, I don’t know,” he said, releasing your hands and taking hold of himself. You stuck out your tongue for him to rub overt, tapping his tip there before you sucked on it. “I quite like it this way. You look so pretty drooling and begging me for more…like a filthy whore who can’t seem,” he plunged back into your mouth, “To get enough.”

You moaned with him this time, continuing to rub yourself on the corner of the bed as he kept a slow pace. The light brushes of the soft sheets against your aching sex felt torturous. The right spot refused to be touched, so the same teasing feeling came each time. Eventually, seeing streams of drool and precum follow, Aemond withdrew from you fully and pushed you onto your back. 

“Which part did you aim to please, slut?” he asked, the slur dripping from his lips with seduction. He trailed two long fingers down your belly to the top of your mound. You flinched feeling them trail circles down to the crevasse of your folds. “Was it here?” he traced them lightly over the slit of your cunt, dipping his finger only to graze over the hood of your clit. “Perhaps underneath then?” he brushed it back up underneath the hard nub, making you tremble. He chuckled darkly at your response and continued doing it with his thumb. You gripped the sheets under you as his thumb then slid over your clit, “But what about right here? It seems to please you the most.”

“Do not act as if you don’t know…A-Aemond…” you breathed, the slow movements driving you crazy. 

“I only wish to educate myself on what pleases my whore the most,” he began making soft trails of kisses down your inner thighs, “Well enough that she’ll never want another.” 

The wetness that leaked from you made his thumb’s movements slicker. He did careful circles around your sex, sometimes sliding towards your entrance before coming back up. He knew exactly what made your toes curl, and had you longing for him. A drastic difference from your wedding night. You brought one of his hands to your breasts for him to fondle while Aemond buried his face between your thighs. He worked his tongue in languid laps against your open folds while his fingers pinched your nipple hard. The slight tingle of pain made you raise your hips to his tongue again. 

You yelped in surprise when he slid both fingers inside your cunt, dragging them along the walls in a soft, delicate pace. He kept licking your sensitive nub with the tip of his tongue while he focused on the fingers inside you. The sensations coupled together were too much to bear. 

"Aemond…Aemond…" you muttered his name, the tension inside you building tighter and tighter. 

"I know," he mumbled, kissing up your thighs, his thumb replacing his tongue's movements. "Let go for me."

Your body immediately obeyed. His fingers kept the same gentle speed as your walls squeezed them. You reached down to grab his wrist, keeping it in place for more. Smirking, Aemond let his fingers wiggle against the most sensitive of spots. You saw stars when you closed your eyes. Your body might've burst into a thousand and one pieces with every shuddering wave. 

He didn't give you a single second. Pushing you further up the bed, Aemond forced your legs further apart and slipped into you. Hands pinning down your wrists, his lips found yours as he started rocking into you. Your juices still on his lips and tongue, you licked them clean. You pussy throbbed from being stimulated again, but you could not let go. You didn't want him to stop. You'd needed him all night. 

"Such a good whore," he jeered, starting to slam his hips into yours, "Laying here like a good girl and letting me take it how I want."

"Only for you, Your Grace. Only…for…"

He knelt up, and you saw the sheer size of him. Long limbed, you gazed on the pale sculpted figure above you. Silver hair falling around him, dark sapphire glinting, he was otherworldly. You never thought you'd have a man like him. Women like you did not get what they wanted, it was plain and simple. Women like you took what they got and adapted, because otherwise, you ended up an old maid. You didn't want that. You began bouncing against him so your breasts moved, and his eyes immediately fell on them. Letting go of your hands, he bent down and grasped them. Sparks of pleasure coursed back through you as he kissed and bit all over them. You didn't think you could handle it a second time. It didn't stop when his thumb found your clit again, and he moved it in time with his thrusts. The oversensitive spot tingled throughout your body; his touch felt ten times more apparent than before. 

"Your Grace," you mumbled, your thoughts forcing themselves together, "I think I might…I…"

At this, he angled you upwards and kept short strokes. The tip of his cock touched right on it again, your eyes rolling back to the strong sensation inside you. It felt like a knot being tightened and tightened until finally it snapped, and you were rutting up against him like an animal. Your second orgasm hit you hard, a strong force that made you lose control. You felt long fingers rest against your throat, not squeezing but simply holding you there. This new restraint, and the struggle of oxygen it brought, strengthened your climax instead of softening it. Your screams came slightly gurgled, but nobody else needed to hear. Your moans were for Aemond’s ears only. 

Unable to withhold himself any longer, Aemond took a few more pumps before he came. The hot cum filling you brought on a blissful satisfaction. His held tilted back, eyes closed shut and lips parted, your husband resembled a sculpture. A beautiful one. You ran your nails down his chest to his stomach to feel his tense muscles spasm in every squeeze. He kept thrusting until he'd drained every drop into you. Would you feel soreness in your muscles tomorrow? Yes. Would you regret it? Not at all. 

He fell onto his side next to you, blond hairs stuck to his forehead from sweat and a hazy sleepiness in his eyes. You tried your best to regain your breath and strength to even move. You turned your head to see him; you looked over his profile for every detail you can point out. Nobody ever made you feel so safe; so secure and comfortable in your own skin. You rolled onto your side and draped your arm and leg over half of him. He welcomed the cuddle and let you rest your head on his arm, so his hand fell near your hair, where he played with the ends of it idly. Neither you spoke as you basked in each other’s warmth; only smiling and sharing a soft kiss before a voice broke out into the room. 

"Well, it's good to see my brother knows how to pleasure a woman."

“Aegon!”

“Aegon, you twat!”

With wicked quickness, Aemond grabbed the nearest object and flung it at his brother, who stood a few feet from your bed. The blond boy laughed as he dodged it. Seeing his brother’s flustered face and you scrambling to cover yourself with sheets, Aegon cackled. 

“Mother sent me to come get you,” Aegon said through his laughter, “But, um, I’ll tell her you and Lady Y/N are indisposed right now.”

“You prick, Aegon! Don’t you know how to knock?!” You launched a pillow at him, which hit the man square in the face. 

“I didn’t want to interrupt!” he laughed, cheeks red as he walked backwards. “You two seemed to be having a good time!”

“Get out!” you and Aemond yelled in unison. 

You watched him leave. You both continued to hear him laughing even after he shut the doors. Aemond flung back onto the pillows in a sigh and you rested next to him. 

“Seven Hells,” you cursed, “He’s never going to shut up about it now.”

“Well, if he does, I can just casually remind him in front of a group of people how I once found him in a brothel tied to a pole blindfolded with a woman and a sheep in the room.”

“I’m sorry, but you found him doing what?” you asked in pure disgust. 

“Yes,” he nodded, “He claims that the sheep just happened to be there, but I don’t think anyone would believe him.” 

The both of you met each other’s gaze and then laughed. You curled back up to him again, his warmth keeping the chill from coming over you, and rested on him. You felt his seed stick between your legs. You hoped. You prayed that, maybe, a child would quicken there. You worried about what tonight’s events might rekindle, and the fallout from that dinner. It was nothing; a snide remark that can be forgiven if done at the right time. Perhaps Alicent will smooth things over, and the king will never hear of it. He is so old and very ill. You hated thinking Viserys died knowing his last effort to mend his family was broken so carelessly. 

“You worry too much,” Aemond’s voice broke through your sleepiness. “Don’t let it bother your pretty head anymore.”

“You don’t worry enough,” you replied, shutting your eyes and letting him pull the sheets over you both. 

“I do worry. I worry about you,” you felt his lips peck the top of your head. “Now, sleep.” 

And so you did in your husband’s arms, the place you were meant to be. 

[mayflowers515]

Smiling Critters: Non Lore-Heavy Headcanons!

This is just what I personally think they'd be like in my AU, if you guys have different interpretations, that's fine!

(I could also do scenarios based on the headcanons too if you guys wish! )

Reference post for characters if needed: https://www.tumblr.com/mayflowers515/743811211445010432/smiling-critters-in-gacha-life-2?source=share

Kickin would 100% call his friends a specific nickname. It's his way of approving that they're cool to him. He barely calls them by their actual name unless the situation is serious. Here is what he'd call everyone:

Bubba = Nerd (in the most affectionate way possible here); Can also imagine Kickin calling him sir or mister sometimes

Bobby = Beary or BB (may or may not be based off of content I've seen with these nicknames for her-)

Hoppy = Hopscotch (calls her by last name because he thinks it's cool already; Hoppy would use that logic against him and call him Chicken occasionally); He also likes to call her Hops for short

CatNap = Sleepyhead, Sleeping Beauty

DogDay = Mr. Brightside, DD

Crafty = Princess (that would probably freak Crafty out since she thinks he knows of her status; in reality, he calls her this because of her vibes, especially after a certain scenario I have planned for her)

Picky = Piggy (doesn't really have any other idea for a nickname, but he wants to come up with one that sounds "more cool"; tried this by calling her PP, but didn't realize how bad it was until the first and only time he used it for her)

Kickin would call himself KC, since y'know, he wants everyone to know he's cool, too! (credits to mr. story for the idea)

2. Crafty has a very good singing voice. She doesn't show it off for a couple reasons though:

Because she's a little shy about showing it off in the first place

Doesn't want to overpower her friends if they sing together

She's worried her friends will find a way to link her voice to her background (will discuss more in a future post)

(Based off a voice canon video I saw for her where her singing voice was based off of Fluttershy's from "Filli Vanilli")

3. When Picky isn't cooking or eating, she likes to dance and tend to her personal garden. It's filled with fresh fruits and vegetables, but she also has some flowers and shrubs, too! She likes to use products from her garden for her cooking sometimes.

4. CatNap's house smells like all kinds of specific essential oils. He is the one who uses them the most of the Critters, which helps set the atmosphere for his calming home.

5. I already mentioned before that Crafty can never keep her clothes clean for the whole day. But she really likes her overall dresses, so she keeps a lot of the same ones just in case one of them gets too messy.

6. Kickin is great with comebacks and wordplay. Even in the toughest of situations, he usually pieces together slick phrases. The only exceptions are if he were to start like-liking someone or if he had an idol he admired. He'd get more nervous and fumble his words by that point.

7. Here is what I like to think the Critters want to be when they become adults (they're still children in this AU):

CatNap (counselor; something to do with aromatherapy too most likely)

DogDay (doesn't know; he hasn't thought about it)

Bobby (nurse or maybe a therapist)

Crafty (artist of course; may be more inclined to be a painter)

Kickin (journalist or reporter?; I can see him commentating on things like sports and current events lol)

Hoppy (soccer player or coach)

Bubba (professor, but not sure of which subject rn)

Picky (chef, no surprise there. She wishes to run her own restaurant someday)

8. Inspired by some comics, but CatNap's tail can extend to really long lengths. His friends use this as an advantage to drag him along or hold onto him when he's not aware of his surroundings or he's asleep. His tail can only extend to so long though (maybe four-five feet?) so eventually it can get pulled. He doesn't like that. His friends realize this the hard way, and from that point forward, they tend to drag him along their adventures in a wagon. Typically DogDay is the one to watch over the wagon.

9. In contrast to CatNap, DogDay is much more nervous during the nighttime. He tries to hide this to not worry his friends, but they can usually see through him. He doesn't exactly get the best sleep all the time, yet he still manages to operate smoothly for his friends (maybe through coffee? I can see him drinking that-)

10. Possible fears of all the Critters

Bobby (being alone and abandoned, canon; can also see her fearing bugs too, but she can't bring herself to kill them since she loves and values all life regardless)

Picky (sickness, a part of this plays into her need to stick to a healthy lifestyle, and she stresses out whenever she feels she made too many unhealthy choices; she also hates being sick because then she can't provide for her friends)

Kickin (sudden noise and heights; he would try to hide this to keep his cool image, so he brushes off his fears so others can't see it from the outside. However, on the inside and sometimes more obviously the outside, he is TERRIFIED)

Bubba (failing his friends and leading them down the wrong direction; tries to prevent this from happening by being as well-informed on as many topics as he can think)

DogDay (the dark; he always needs a nightlight in his room so he can go to sleep better)

CatNap (his second scent; more elaboration on that sometime soon but if you know what I'm referring to, you know...; can also seem him fearing water a little since y'know, cat behavior-)

Hoppy (needles; I just don't see her holding up well at the doctor's personally-)

Crafty (public audience; she can only handle so many people watching her at once until she feels she needs to get out)

11. People would expect Bubba and Crafty to constantly be at odds due to their different thinking approaches (left brain + right brain), but they actually get along quite well! They may have a couple disagreements, but otherwise they are usually open to what the other is saying. Basically, an "I want what you have" kind of situation but downplayed. Mainly since Bubba isn't as good with thinking outside of the box meanwhile Crafty isn't the most book smart. They would bounce off each other well. They would work well together when it comes to devising plans with their friends. Bubba would explain the plan while Crafty sketches the plan's details.

12. Crafty can draw at fast speeds, but she can't draw anything super detailed. Still, she is surprised herself that it doesn't look too bad when she rushed it.

13. Speaking of speed, Hoppy can, in addition to moving fast, speak fast and somehow still remember what she says. When others don't process what she says, she would be a bit more annoyed and say it slower. She doesn't speak fast often, only in situations where she is really enthusiastic or she's in a panic.

14. In terms of their more animal-like qualities, DogDay is the most expressive of the Critters. He wags his tail and raises his ears a lot depending on the circumstance.

15. Bobby can have very bad anxiety in stressful situations. Worse case scenario, she may even just ball up and become unresponsive to stimuli.

16. PB&Js are still Picky's favorite food, but she eats them in moderation when she's felt good on what she ate for the rest of the day. She will refuse to eat them when she's stressed or if she gets sick. She gets like this with any unhealthy food in general actually, just more inclined to do it with PB&Js.

17. (Based on that road trip image of them) They're all kids, but in their world, they're able to drive. Still, there are some Critters you should trust behind the wheel more than others:

Bubba (not only would he be safe on the road, but his great memory basically makes him a walking GPS, assuring an instant trip to their destination without getting lost; despite this, it's usually #2 who drives more because he's usually tasked as the voice of reason to make sure no one riots while someone is behind the wheel; he also slightly manages his memory better when he isn't multitasking)

DogDay (is usually the one that drives everyone when they're out on road trips. He is generally very calm behind the wheel and will encourage others on the way to wherever they're going, so he's also considered fun to have as the driver by his friends)

Picky and Bobby (tied; both would do just fine behind the wheel and would both be careful of the cars around them and the passengers in the car; would give Picky the edge here though since she doesn't have to raise her seat as much just to drive compared to Bobby)

Kickin (would care more about looking cool on the road than actually driving well. When he isn't focused on his ego, he doesn't drive too badly. He may have a slight bit of road rage, though)

CatNap (he would be better during night time trips as he is more active then, but even then it wouldn't happen often since driving can get stressful. Also, at any other time besides night, he runs the risk of sleeping on the spot even while driving, so no, please don't let him drive…) (ngl, him and #7 could be interchangeable here; both have drawbacks whenever they're behind the wheel-)

Crafty (she's pretty mediocre when it comes to driving. Her mind usually spirals in a panic whenever she's behind the wheel, and she'd focus more on the panic of driving at all than actually driving, so for her sanity, don't let her drive...)

Hoppy (never, EVER have her behind the wheel. The car will crash and burn in seconds... She can get really impulsive when it comes to driving and I can imagine her having some bad road rage; the Critters let her drive once after she pleaded with them so many times; probably in a situation where for some reason DogDay and/or Bubba couldn't do it. She led them in a ditch, crashing into someone's party down below, unintentionally of course. Everyone was okay, but they never let her drive again after that)

18. In addition to wanting to be the cool friend, I can also imagine Kickin wanting to joke around and make his friends laugh from time to time. He also pulls harmless pranks sometimes (sometimes he is unaware how his pranks potentially hurt others until it's too late though-)

19. Bobby has a really big sweet tooth. Especially when it comes to chocolate. Also, if anyone were to give her a chocolate heart, she would melt in their arms on the spot (doesn't matter if the intention is platonic or romantic, she just loves receiving chocolates, especially the hearts)

20. Hoppy would have the most game equipment of her friends. She has equipment that ranges across all kinds of sports as well as other physical activities.

21. If Crafty was given sidewalk chalk and there was pavement outside of her friends' houses (though I don't think this is the case in canon sadly), she would use it to draw something outside her friends' houses as a way to show appreciation.

22. Bubba would have his own mini library inside his house will all different genres of books. The books of this library are books he collected that were from his family's or from what he found when they were out and about. He occasionally lets his friends borrow books from him if they need to.

23. The Critters are vegan. Things like burgers and milk come from other sources for them. So no worries, in this version, the burger Picky was about to eat in the intro was sourced from plants (she wouldn't actually eat animals... right? *cough cough* canon version... *cough)

24. CatNap would be the best at telling spooky stories. He already has a naturally quiet voice. All he'd need to do to make it sound more spoopy for his friends is give it a creepy tone, and already that makes him a good scary storyteller...

25. DogDay doesn't really make his own food often, but he actually does like baking more than people give him credit for. His favorite thing to bake is cookies (especially ones that look like dog treats!)

26. This meme explained for Critters:

"We have food at home" - Bubba, Picky

"MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!" - Hoppy, DogDay, Kickin, Bobby

In between these two sections: Crafty (depends on her mood)

*Pulls into the drive through as children cheer* *Orders a single black coffee and leaves* - CatNap (not meaning to be rude, but just doesn't want to put up with ordering for everyone so he orders for him; he's too tired for that ok?*

27. CatNap has the worst reaction time and is the most clumsy of the Critters. It's literally canon that the guy trips on his own tail. That HAS to be a thing here. It just has to.

28. This may come as a surprise, but CatNap actually does like drinking coffee, except he mainly has it at nighttime so he can stay up and help people in need of assistance at nighttime; he puts a lot of creamer and milk in his coffee, though- He doesn't like black cofffee (I imagine in the McDonalds meme he takes the coffee home with him and prepares it with his usual creamer and milk)

Welp, this is pretty long and scrambled. Sorry if some characters have more headcanons than others. If I think of other hcs I can update this! I do actually have more I'd like to share sometime, but the ones I'm thinking about are more lore-heavy for the characters so I'll put that in a separate post :)

[sebastianmichaelisslander]

my good friend i love you and your sideblog username. please live up to it and give me your sebastian thoughts. as a seb enjoyer i must know

And I love you too 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Never would I pass up an opportunity to slander him - on it! 🫡

Ah, Sebastian Michaelis. Seabass. Shitstain. A man of many names.

He’s smug, smarmy, smooth-talking, and supercilious. The sort of man whose disdain manifests in a cold, passive-aggressive politeness and close-lipped smiles that don’t quite reach his eyes.

He’s the true embodiment of a textbook demon and has no soul of his own to speak of. He knows what makes humans tick and what their desires are - and he isn’t afraid to use that to his advantage. One that exudes this subdued charisma that’ll draw one to him like a moth to a flame, making them forget his cordiality is all a veneer. William could definitely learn a thing or two about how to pass as one of them from him.

All of this initially made him a quite an intriguing character - one most new to the series find themselves drawn to. However, that smugness and disconcerting smoothness is now becoming rather stale and makes him appear one-dimensional - almost a tired caricature of what fanon wants him to be. Even if this characterisation of him is intentional, he still gets on my nerves.

Also, I stand with Frances when it comes to her disdain for his terrible hair. Not only would a neater hairdo - probably slicked back - stop him from looking like a MCR fan in the early 2000s, but he’d also be MUCH fitter imho (not to mention historically accurate, though one can take a few liberties with that in fan works).

Writing Fanon Sebastian as a demon who finds himself afflicted with pangs of human emotion he does not know how to handle would be something I’d do someday, though. I’d love to read more fics like that, too.

Whilst I do prefer fanon Sebastian, he’s definitely not a character I think about all too often - and not just because I’m a Reaper enthusiast. There’s such a large cast of fascinating characters that I find myself obsessed with another one every five seconds, lol.

Though these are all the thoughts I have for now, there’ll definitely be more slander 😙 thank you for this ask, friend!

[klainelynch]

Hey friend! So I’ve been listening to a bunch of your Royai podfics lately and I just love them. Its the best way to get my fic fix while also being a productive adult lol. I’m blown away with how professional and polished your stuff is! You definitely could be recording full blown audiobooks, if you aren’t already! (And if you are, I’d love to know where to find those!)

I’m intrigued by your whole process: how you pick stories, record, edit, etc. Choosing when and where to use tone inflection, pacing, all that. You can fully nerd out if you feel like it! I’m so curious. ☺️❤️

Ahhhh what a wonderful message to find in my inbox!! 🥰🥰🥰 I'm so happy that my podfics have become something that you listen to in your daily routine! I don't record audiobooks or do this in any kind of a professional sense, but I do try to emulate what I love of different audiobooks/professional productions and other peoples' podfics, so your compliment means the world to me!

I started with a very stream-of-consciousness response and have tried to cohere it into something readable. You said I could fully nerd out, so here's over 2k of me taking you up on that xD

Choosing a fic:

I tend to gravitate towards fics that have more narration as opposed to dialogue. I love being in a character's head and fully living in their world and the way they experience it. When I am reading dialogue, I don't try to sound exactly like the voice actor (if it's from a tv show or movie) or adopt their accent, but I do try to embody the character in my voice, if that makes sense. If there are too many characters with dialogue, this gets difficult for me, which is why many of my solo podfics have two or fewer characters who speak, or why I create multivoice podfics with fellow podficcers.

In my podfic spreadsheet, there are several pages dedicated to fics that I'd like to record someday. Most of them are under 1k, though I do have a few that are around 3k (which would be on the longer side for me). I jot notes to remember what each fic is/what I would like to do with it—some examples of what those sound like with fics I haven't recorded yet: Zuko asks how Iroh survived when Lu Ten died because of Izumi feels; Al reflecting on Royai rebuilding Isvhal, no dialogue; Roy takes Riza out on a date (cover art would be a theatre program); good angsty Edwin moment after the boys come home (could have thunder in background); Ghost!Roy as Riza carried on, will need to build to this level of angst; Abbott Elementary book fair *chef's kiss*; Roy announces he’s engaged to some mystery woman but PSYCHE HE’S ALREADY MARRIED TO RIZA.

I used to have a pretty even split of recording fics with blanket permission versus asking authors for permission, but these days, I tend to be too lazy to ask lol. Not saying that I won't do it, but when the mood strikes me to record, I need to know pretty quickly if I can complete the project, and a bp statement really helps with that!

Prep work:

When I first began podficcing, I would put the entire fic into a google doc. This let me annotate the script for every little thing (highlighting dialogue, typing out phonetic pronunciations of difficult names/words, and putting spaces in between sections of text to help with breath control being the most common). The more I podficced, the less I had to annotate, until all I would do with my scripts was put in the spaces. I want my breath to be consistent/unnoticeable, so I read with that in mind. Often you can use the punctuation as your guide, but sometimes there are long stretches with no punctuation, and I have to figure out how a sentence should be cut up to make its meaning clear.

I didn't make these scripts for any of my solo podfics during Voiceteam this past May, and I still felt comfortable recording, so I think I may be past needing this tool for the most part. I just need to read through the fic a few times and look up any potential pronunciation issues right before I record.

Recording the podfic:

My early podfics were recorded with the microphone attached to my earbuds, and you can definitely hear it in the quality 🙈🙉 I did at least use a makeshift pop filter, so that helped with my plosives from the beginning.

After a few months, I got a blue snowball mic, which makes the quality so much clearer, and even more so once I got a computer that can run Audacity (more on why I love this program later).

I currently record in my closet, which is a long wide shape, so the doors don't close all the way when I'm inside of it. I shut them as best as I can to prevent outside noises, and I stand as I record. I used to sit at my desk with a soundproofing box around my mic, but I found it hard to get good breaths for long periods of time, so now I stand. The tradeoff is that I have to be wearing good shoes if I'm recording more than thirty-ish minutes (which could happen if the podfic is ultimately longer than twelve or so minutes because…)

My raw audio is usually at least twice as long as the final product. I often record several takes for lines, sometimes if I mess up, but usually if I don't think I captured the emotional quality that I can hear in my head when I read the line with my eyes. Sometimes it takes up to ten times for a line to feel right; other times, an early take ends up being the best one.

The previous point touches on how I handle putting inflection into my voice. The other part of it is thinking through how the speaker would say a particular word/phrase. If it's narration, I've emotionally been with that speaker for the entire fic, so I lean into that; if it's dialogue, it might be someone new, so I have to switch my brain. Either way, I have to (consciously or unconsciously) think through: 1. how would I personally say this? 2. how would the character say this? 3. how would the audience want to hear this? 4. how would the meaning be most effectively heard? Often there is overlap in these questions, but not always. If there's a conflict between these, I try to remember that my audience is probably just listening with their ears, not simultaneously reading with their eyes, so I need to prioritize their being able to understand what is happening and why. That's why I try to affect my voice in different ways and not literally mumble or shout, even if the fic has the character doing that.

Since you mentioned my Royai podfics, I will mention one way I distinguish their voices depending on who the narrator is. When Roy is the narrator, any of his dialogue is in my normal voice, and Riza's dialogue becomes slightly higher and slower; when Riza is the narrator, her dialogue is in my normal voice, and Roy's dialogue becomes slightly lower and faster.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to nail the first and especially the last line of a fic, so I will record a good number of takes for those. It's only happened once that I loved the first take I did of a final line. Sometimes I annoy myself at how many takes I record, but I'm thankful for the choices when I'm editing, so this is simply how I do things!

The hardest part of recording for me is keeping my voice quality consistent. I drink a lot of water throughout the day, but even so, I get dry mouth as I record, and once you're at that point, drinking more water doesn't really help. Tricks like chewing gum or brushing my teeth right before recording help me out.

Editing the podfic:

This has actually become my favorite part of the process! It feels like a puzzle and a treasure hunt, trying to find the best ways to pick out the best parts of my performance and turn it into a final product.

When I started podficcing, I had a chromebook, so the only audio editing software available was free online websites. I don't even remember the ones I used, but they did most of the things I wanted, and they let me get my foot in the door. The problem was that they were limited in tools, such as…

Noise reduction is my favorite feature of Audacity, which is the software I currently use. If you go back and listen to my podfics chronologically, you can clearly tell when I started using it because the general crackle in the background disappears. I have no plans to delete old pods, but it is as painful for me to listen to them for this reason as it is to reread fics I wrote in high school lol

The first round of edits is picking out the best takes for each line. Sometimes that means listening to several takes over and over before I choose my favorite; occasionally, I splice together the first half of one take and the second half of another. I'm very proud when I can do this with a single word and you can't tell the difference at all. I laugh when it sounds like I've done this with a word, but actually I just read it weird and I have no other take to substitute it with xD

Something else I do in the first edits is take out excessive space between sentences and paragraphs. I basically reset my breath/voice after every segment (could be a sentence or part of a sentence) so there's always extra space. I tend to edit down to one to two seconds between sentences, two to three seconds between paragraphs, and four to five seconds between entire sections of a fic. Of course, there are always exceptions (a character feeling very emotional, especially angry or excited, will have faster sentences; dialogue is formatted in paragraphs but it is inflection rather than time that indicates to the audience that a new paragraph/speaker has begun; an emotional line might require more space to let the audience process it).

Once I have all of the words edited together, I will do a second round of edits for tightening up the pacing. I listen to the edit without looking at the text, keeping my hands busy with a video game or coloring. As I'm listening, if something feels too fast or too slow, I'll make edits in real time, back it up, and listen again. The reason I can't read and listen during this pass is because my eyes are expecting too much and I can't properly hear what the audience will hear. When I began podficcing, I thought I had enough space in between words and sentences, but when I would listen back, I realized that I had cut too much out and the podfic's speed was faster than I liked. Now I leave more space in during the first edit and do this pacing pass.

Once I'm happy with the narration, I save it as a narration only file. I love adding in music and effects when I can, but I'm sure there are some who would rather only listen to the narration, so I make this available for accessibility and preference reasons.

I will usually make a final version with music and/or sound effects. This is one area where I'm specifically trying to emulate professional audiobooks and how they use music under the opening credits before fading out as the story begins.

Finding music is its own kind of scavenger hunt. I prefer to use public domain or creative commons music because it feels more true to the collaborative/transformative spirit that podfics have for me, and the idea of a podfic being taken down for copyright reasons does make me nervous. ccmixter and Purple Planet have a lot of songs that I've used in the past. The former has literally thousands of songs, which can overwhelm me if I'm working on a deadline, so I will sometimes just listen to random tracks and download anything that might be helpful in the future. That being said, if a fic uses a song lyric as a title or the author mentions a song as inspiration, I will try to use that song as the music if possible. I'm especially proud of how I used "Wait for It" at the end of An Endless Uphill Climb.

I use sound effects far less frequently than music, but they are fun when there is a natural place for them. I love the Star Wars audiobooks, and they often use sound effects and music in a way that heightens the emotions in the listener. That is always my guiding star, though I will admit to sometimes using effects just because they make me happy!

Cover art:

Like music/sound effects, this part is totally optional, but I usually do it because I have a lot of fun with it! I make everything in Canva, and again, I try to use public domain or creative commons images. Openverse is my go-to search engine because they make it really easy to tell which images I'm allowed to use in what ways. Sometimes I have a vision and try to find images to match; other times I have no idea and just see what I can find, or I can't find what I had in mind and have to switch gears.

Random facts that I couldn't find a spot for:

I learned how to read for an audience by being a lector at mass (reading either something from the Old Testament or something from the New Testament, other than the Gospels) in a church with lots of marble, which explains why I read on the slow side. Had to leave room for the echo before I started speaking the next line!

I've actually found that my own fic writing became easier to read aloud once I started podficcing. That doesn't make it better or worse—there are beautiful passages in literature/fic that are easier to read with the eyes than with the ears. But it is definitely a thing.

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Thank you again for sending this ask! I hope this peek behind the curtain was interesting to you, even if it was probably far more than you were asking for xD And another thank you for listening to my podfics—it really does mean so much to me that something I've made can brighten up your day 💖