#steve harvey is so done

[chkemo]

Janine and Gregory. My heart. I smiled, I squeed. I think I'm going to love this, will they won't they. If it's done right, which they have so far, it can be fun.

[steveshairychest]

I need more mechanic Steve in overalls with his hair kept back with a backwards cap, his face and hands are always smeared with grease and he wears glasses while doing paperwork in his tiny office. A love for cars was the only thing him and his dad had in common but that didn't stop his dad from disapproving of Steve opening his own shop, a shop where people can come and know that they are going to be taken care of and not be ripped off. The only person Steve has ever overcharged is his dad.

Steve puts an ad in the paper for a receptionist because he's finding it hard to juggle phone calls and working on cars. He hires Eddie and instantly regrets it because he is very fucking distracting with his tight jeans, cropped tank top and lazy smile when he answers the phone. "Steve's Garage, how can I help- Oh! Mrs. Harvey, nice to hear from you again." Eddie pretends to choke himself with the phone cord when Steve looks over. "Your car is making a weird noise again? Oh no, better bring it in."

Steve rolls his eyes and closes the hood of the car he's working on so he can wait for Mrs. Harvey. He doesn't understand how one person can have so many car troubles. "Is she coming now?"

Eddie jumps, which causes the swivel chair to squeak loudly. Steve finds it strange how Eddie always seems so startled whenever Steve speaks directly to him. "Uh, yep! She says her car is making a 'ka-clunk' noise."

Steve runs a hand, his clean hand that is, down his face and groans. "She said that last week as well."

Eddie taps his fingers anxiously against the desk and, without looking at Steve, asks, "Can I help? We could get it done faster."

Steve narrows his eyes, he's not angry, just thinking and probably trying to see because he doesn't have his glasses on.

"You know cars?"

"Uh, yeah. That's what I originally came here to apply for, but I was too scared to say no when you asked if I was here for the receptionist job." Eddie twists a piece of hair in front of his face and avoids the shocked look Steve is giving him. "At least I can add 'receptionist for a month' onto my resume."

Steve scoffs and throws the dirty, grease covered rag from his overalls pocket at Eddie. "You're a shit receptionist. You better be better with cars than you are at answering the damn phone."

Eddie beams up at him and shoves the rag in the pocket of his jeans, right next to his bandana. "If I'm so shit, why didn't you fire me?" He teases while walking in step with Steve.

Steve glances at him briefly, a faint blush creeping up his neck to stain his ears and cheeks. "You're cute." This is said with a shrug and a small smile.

Eddie blushes and trips over a tire.

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini ♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 2

Wine and Dine

Series masterlist

Previous part: Love You More Next part: Expendable

Word Count: 6,169

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI.

Steve wasn't quite sure he had ever ran so fast in his entire life. Wearing a heather grey henley, jeans, and some nice shoes, he knew he probably looked ridiculous as he zoomed by people in the hallways like a gust of wind.

After being deployed on the emergency mission for almost 3 weeks now, you were just about to land at the compound. From what he understood from the gossip floating around the compound, and confirming by the report notifications that popped up in the corner of his computer, it was a really bad one.

Agents were dropping like flies, if felt like every few hours one was being sent back to the compound due to injury or a psychological break. He tried multiple times to get the Avengers on the mission to help clear it out faster, it was obviously way too big for the agents to be handling alone.

Every time he tried, Fury shot him down because there already was an avenger on the mission. Though he agreed and trusted whole heartedly that you could handle it, he knew that if he was in your position, single handedly being the only reason why anything was actually getting done under exhaustive conditions, he'd appreciate another member of his team being sent to him

Not even a full minute ago you had called him in hysterics. He could barely understand you through your cries but he could tell just by the sounds slipping past your throat that you were in unbearable pain. It made his heart pound out of his chest as he tried to console you to the point of being able to understand what had happened.

When Commander Bennet realized that the wind had been knocked out of you, he gently grabbed the phone from your hands and spoke to Steve.

"Captain Rogers?" He quested after reading 'Steve' at the top of your phone screen.

"Yeah, hi, what's going on?" Steve asked frantically.

"Agent 306 is not in good shape. We had some sort of biological weapon hit us hard. It was a pale blue, powdery substance that was causing extreme irritation and almost burn like reaction on any exposed skin it touched." Bennett explained.

"But her tact suit covers most of her skin-" Steve vocalized his thoughts.

"She tried to stop the attack before it got worse, jumped on the attacker's back to yank the weapon out of his hand but..." He sighed. "Agent 212..."

"What did Harvey do?" Steve started seething.

"To put it simply, 212 got in her way. She had it and was about to put the whole mission to an end. I'm not sure if he thought he was going to beat her to it or if he wanted to help, but he threw her off and crashed right into her. The attacker grabbed hold of the collar of her tact suit from the back of her neck and poured a pretty large amount of the powder all the way down her back."

"Oh man, how bad is it?" Steve got up, already knowing where this was leading.

"She's in excruciating pain." He put simply. "We have lab techs on board studying the substance. They said that the effects are only extreme irritation, burns, and stinging pain for upwards of 5 hours. We already informed medical, they said there's not much they can do other than shower her and try to manage the pain with ibuprofen. She said she'd rather just do that at home, and she's asking for you now. Any way you could meet us on the runway?"

"Absolutely, what's the ETA?" Steve asked, walking down the hall towards the Jet landing runway.

"Touch down in a minute-thirty."

"I'll be there." Steve said simply before hanging up.

From where he was in the building, he knew making it to the runway was a five minute walk, so he made it a one minute and thirty second run instead.

He pushed through the doors to get outside onto the runway just as the jet wheels had touched down on the tarmac. The second it stopped moving, he practically ripped the door open with his own two hands and waited very impatiently for the rush of agents disembarking before he could get to you.

Harvey didn't get a chance to pass by Steve without receiving a glare from the soldier that sent an uncomfortable shiver down his spine.

The very second he could, Steve rushed onto the Jet and you were curled up on the floor with your knees to your chest and your face digging into your knee caps. Commander Bennett was at your side trying to comfort you, but you were rocking back and forth to try and manage the pain, and doing your best to muffle your sobs as to not further inconvenience any of the other agents who had to hear you whaling the entire flight home.

Steve sank onto his knees right next to you, and placed a hand on you arm.

"You got it from here, Captain?" Bennett asked.

"Of course." Steve nodded, understanding he had more work to be done.

"Report back to me when you can?" Steve could see the worry in his eyes.

"Yes, sir."

Your commander got up and off the Jet following the other agents, and Steve's heart was still uncomfortably racing around in his chest.

"Hey, Bug." Steve gently squeezed your arm to try and get you to uncurl from your tiny little ball.

"M'sorry to bother you" You cried while lifting your head. Talking through the pain and shortness of air in your lungs was a struggle, but you took a moment and tried your hardest. "It hurts so bad, didn't know what else to do."

"It's okay, you're not a bother to me." He shook his head and got a good look at you.

Your tact suit was covered in smoke and ash, as well as your face. There was a deep scratch along your left cheek bone accompanied by smeared blood, presumably your own, and you jawline on the right side was bruised.

Steve's pounding heart came to a stand still before completely melting into a puddle when you let your forehead fall onto his collarbone. Instinctively, his hand gently cradled the back of your head.

Immediately, you felt safer and calmer in his hold. Letting someone take over your well-being when you had no control was terrifying, but Steve earned your trust more than anyone else in your life ever did. Around him, you knew everything would be okay regardless of the circumstances.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" He questioned calmly.

"Feels like I ca-can't breathe" You hiccuped.

"I know, I'm sorry." Steve pouted. "Having the wind knocked out of you is normal sometimes when you're in that much pain. It's one of the worst feelings in the world but it'll go away. Just keep taking big deep breaths, it'll start to fade."

"S...still powder in my suit." You warned him. "Careful."

"Okay, we should get it off of you as soon as we can then." He thought out loud knowing that as long as it was still making contact with your skin, you would never start to feel better. "I'm going to get you out of here and up to your apartment okay?"

"Hurts so bad- feel like I can't move." You explained the best you could, internally panicking.

"Can I carry you?" Steve questioned, wanting to make sure he had your permission.

"What if it gets on you?" You questioned, not wanting him to feel the same pain you were in.

"I'm wearing long sleeves and long pants, it'll be okay." He reassured you. "I don't want to hurt your back even more, so wrap your arms around my neck and I'll hold onto the bottom of your legs."

You were happy to wrap your arms gently around his neck, and your legs around his waist as he carefully lifted you up. Without as much as a second thought, you nestled your face into the crook of his neck and continued to let the presence of your best friend comfort you while you focused on trying to catch your breath.

Steve was so focused on his personal mission to make you feel better that he didn't let his mind even entertain his personal feelings for you anymore. Meanwhile, you had an opposite technique to reign in some pain management. Steve smelled so good that the deep breathing with your face shoved into his neck was now a pleasant experience, and momentarily took your mind off the unbearable pain you were in.

Unfortunately his incredible taste in cologne wasn't enough to completely stop your mental and physical pain by the time he got you into your apartment and gently set you down on your own two feet. He offered you his forearm to keep a hold on to steady yourself, he could tell your muscles were overworked, exhausted, and tightly tense.

Steve could feel the hand you kept hold of him with was shaking, as were your legs, and chattering jaw that you tried your hardest to clench shut.

Single handedly, he worked diligently to remove your personal defense weapons that lived in your leg holsters. Grabbing the gun and dagger, he reached behind him and quickly put them in the weapon safe by the door.

Then he led you to the couch and had you sit down, helping you on the way down. He quickly sank to his knees and his fingers untied the laces on your boots and pulled them off your feet before he got to work on removing all the black leather straps and buckles of the holsters on your legs.

He looked up at you momentarily just to make sure you didn't seem uncomfortable by how he was touching you, but your eyes were squeezed shut so tightly and your mind was so far away it felt like you weren't even in the room with him anymore.

"Relax your jaw, Buggy." Steve caught your attention with a small squeeze to your calf before going at the holster on your thigh.

"But it's chattering" You cried, relaxing it to prove it was rattling.

"That's okay, just let it happen." He reassured you.

You nodded, eyes still squeezed shut with occasional tears slipping past them.

"Let all your muscles relax, keep taking big breaths." His sweet voice guided you, moving on from your left leg to your right. "Remember that this pain is temporary, this is the worst of it right now and you're taking it like a champ. You're doing a good job."

Letting your eyes open, you watched him shove his phone between his shoulder and head, freeing both his hands to continue removing pieces of your suit. Then he started talking, throwing around commands, asking for necessary assistance to make sure your suit is properly cleaned and the hazardous substance would be responsibly handled.

At some point, your eyes closed again and you started feeling faint. He stood up, still on the phone and walked away for a moment then came back with a glass of water for you in one hand, and medicine in the other hoping it could at least help jumpstart the pain management.

Then, you heard something that made your eyes rip open.

"Hey Buck, yeah she's okay - in a lot of pain but she's going to be fine. Hey- can you do me a favor? Can you go into my apartment and grab me a change of clothes? Just a shirt and some sweatpants please? Thank you so much, I'll leave the door unlocked for you. See you soon."

You took in his appearance and realized you had completely destroyed his outfit. Smoke and soot had smeared all over his light grey shirt and the the top of his jeans. There was blood on his shoulder from your face, and wet spots from your tears.

"I'm so sorry." You cried, genuinely feeling bad about it. "I ruined your clothes!"

"I'm not worried about it" He denied your apology. "You're more important than a shirt."

"I'll buy you a new one." You shook your head.

"You have bigger fish to fry at the moment, Bug." Steve said sweetly. "Let's get you in the shower now. The faster this gets washed off of you the better."

Deep down Steve was really concerned about you, but he internalized it as to not freak you out. You seemed weak and unsteady on your own two feet, and your cries were still sad enough to make him want to cry for you.

"Help me up?" You asked, holding out your hands.

He took them without question and helped you off the couch before guiding you to the bathroom and starting the shower for you. Making sure it was not too cold to be uncomfortable, but not too hot to hurt your burns even more, he finally settled on the perfect temperature.

When Steve turned back around to let you know it was good to go, he was going to walk right out and let you shower in peace. That was until you started crying even harder just by trying to unbutton your pants. Every move you made was increasingly uncomfortable, and in that moment you both knew that showering alone wasn't an option.

The hot shocking pain and trauma of the three week long mission alone made letting Steve see you naked feel like just another drop in the bucket. You couldn't even get yourself to pretend to care, all of the insecurities and fears you'd typically have over this flew out of the window when you could see the genuine worry in his sweet blue eyes.

"Do you need help?"

"Can you please stay?"

Both of you asked almost shyly at the same time.

"Yes please."

"Of course"

You talked over each other once again.

Everything you could've possibly been worried about wasn't even a thought in Steve's mind when you asked him to stay. Although his heart warmed over the sentiment that you felt comfortable enough around him to ask in the first place, he wanted to make sure he maintained that same level of trust.

So he took the same approach he took before any training session he knew you were scared of, or any time he had to touch your body.

A simple one word question that he always expected a completely honest response to, it always went a long way.

So before he even helped you begin undressing, he asked it.

"Trust?" He questioned.

Whenever he asked you this, he wanted a percentage out of 100 to gauge how much trust you felt for him in that very moment. Whether he was about to catch you from two stories high, or send you off to do something new, he wanted to make sure you were confident enough in him as your partner. If you ever answered below a 90, that's when he would put a stop to everything and the two of your would talk it through until you felt comfortable and confident enough to execute the plan.

"100" you answered without question, your shaky hands trying their hardest to unzip your shirt.

Only after you responded did he start to undress you. His hands took over the zipper, and swiped it downward. When he helped you tug off the sleeves he was careful to not touch the inside of your suit to not get any of the substance on himself, but once your top was off, he could tell it was all caked onto your skin and no longer dry. "If that changes or you want me to leave at any point, you tell me, okay?"

"Okay." You nodded, feeling a slight relief as the cold air hit your back.

Piece by piece, he helped you get undressed and into the shower. He stood next to you the whole time, and as the water washed off the dirt and grime, he could see the extent of the damage on your back and he internally cringed.

"You poor thing, this looks so painful." Steve pouted. Though you were quite literally fully naked in front of him, he couldn't stop staring at the plane of your back. It was fire engine red, and your skin was definitely angry at the substance.

"Fury is going to be so mad at me." You sniffled, starting to feel like you could talk in complete sentences again.

"Why?" Steve asked, head tilting slightly.

"I should be at the mission debriefing." You explained.

"You we're injured, there are exceptions." Steve denied. "You know who Fury will actually be mad at? Harvey."

Just the mention of his name had your cry growing sadder by the moment. "Can I tell you something as a friend and not as a boss?"

Steve's face softened, and he nodded.

"He did it on purpose." You claimed with confidence as your fingers scrubbed shampoo into your hair. "The whole mission Harv and his friends were doing things to sabotage me and I kept getting hurt. I felt like I was going crazy, and it was already a really bad mission to be on in the first place. I feel so defeated and defenseless right now."

When you admitted that, his eyes went from your back to a big, black and blue bruise the side of his palm right on your rib cage.

"Harvey will be dealt with whether he did it on purpose or accident. He made a really stupid choice that obstructed the mission and got another agent hurt, the best agent we got." Steve explained. "They'll probably open an investigation and pull any footage they have and talk to some other witnesses to get their side of the story. If it's ruled that it was on purpose his punishment will be much worse than if it was an accident."

"They're just going to come after me even harder." You cried. "I don't know what I did so wrong that they decided that they needed to make my life a living hell. I try to be nice to everyone, I participate when I need to, I help them when they need help, and I even do the dirty work so nobody else has to. Everyone still hates me. Nobody cares if I get hurt."

Steve's broken heart impossibly shattered again. "Do you believe us when we tell you it's jealousy? The men here have tiny little ego's. They're fragile and insecure so when they see how great you are, they just want to knock you down any chance they get. It's not your fault."

"I don't feel like I'm the best one here." You finally denied in a moment of vulnerable weakness. You we're already naked, what damage could admitting your true feelings possibly do? "I don't even feel like I'm good at what I do in general."

"You may feel like that right now, but that's not fact. It's far from the truth." Steve denied your accusations against yourself. "You're meant to be an Avenger, we're all confident in that. That mission should've never been delegated to you guys. It should've gone to the Avengers, and even then it would've been hard for us. But I was watching the updates and statistics come through while you were gone. You single handedly held the operation together and led it to success with nothing but your own guidance. You're incredible, you even outperformed the Avengers."

You shook your head in denial before tipping it back and letting the water wash away the soapy lather in your beautiful silky hair. "I should be debriefing but instead I'm crying in the shower I can't even take by myself without being a hazard."

"They have tormented you so much that you believe crying is a sign of weakness." Undertones of disapproval soaked through his tone. "Their words have you believing that you're not good enough for this, yet I don't see any of them being good enough to do half of what you do."

"I don't know how to get it to stop." You sniffled. "If I don't fight back, they keep going. If I do fight back, they come at me twice as hard. If you don't say anything, they think it's okay. If you do yell at them, it just gets worse."

"Join the team." Steve stated simply, reaching out into the shower to swipe some smoke off your face that you missed.

"I'm tired, Stevie." You admitted with a sad cry. "Right now, I don't even know how I'm going to wake up and get myself to work as an agent tomorrow. I don't know how I can do this anymore, let alone be an Avenger."

"Exactly, you're tired and you're hurting." Steve validated. "Emotionally and physically, you're a human with with needs, none of which have been met in a very long time. You had your heart broken, and with no time to recover you had tosee Harvey every day for three weeks, then he hurt you even more. We'll get you some rest, some food, you'll get some time off work to make sure you heal up and recover. I promise you that you'll feel better."

"I sure hope so." You sniffled, washing the rest of the soap off now that you were squeaky clean. "Because right now, my heart is heavy and i feel defeated."

"Then let's take baby steps towards making you feel better, we'll start by making the heaviness a lot lighter." Steve offered you a hand to help you step out of the shower as you turned the water off. A hint of a smile poked through your pouted lips as he wrapped your fluffy towel around your body as carefully as he could as to not hurt your back anymore than it already did.

"Do you have to go back to work?" You asked sadly, not wanting to have to let go of the comfort he always provided you. "I really missed you while I was away."

"It's okay, I'll take the rest of the day off." Steve denied. "I missed you too, I was worried about you."

There was a small knock on the door before Bucky came in, and before either of you could even acknowledge his presence, both of your feet carried you towards him.

Bucky quickly handed Steve the clothes he brought for him, then all his attention was on you.

"Stay with her for a minute, I'm going to change really fast." Steve squeezed Bucky's shoulder out of gratitude.

You we're still slowly crying from the pain, and wrapped up in the towel like a little human burrito.

No words needed to be exchanged between you and your friend and he very carefully pulled you against his warm body for a long hug.

After Steve changed into the clothes Bucky brought him and walked back out into the living room to the scene of you being comfortably wrapped up in his arms as the two of you exchanged quiet words he could barely hear, he couldn't help the tiny pang of jealousy. He felt like a teenage boy who had no control over his emotions. He knew it was wrong, so he pushed it down just like he did all his other feelings towards you.

When Bucky noticed Steve was back, he mumbled an apology to you about needing to get back to work, and promised he would come by later to check up on you. And just as fast as he arrived, he left.

Steve helped you get dressed again, which was a struggle. But the two of you worked together to find a loose enough shirt to put on as to not hurt your back, super soft shorts, and definitely no bra to dig into your skin. But he already saw your boobs so there was no harm in that decision.

By the time you climbed into your own bed for the first time in weeks, and Steve got in next to you, a bit of relief washed over you. The tears came to an end and now you were nothing but stray sniffles and a little ball of frustration as you tried your hardest to get comfortable without laying on your back.

Steve wasn't quite sure how it happened, but you ended up half on your side-half on your stomach with your head in his lap and one of your legs hiked up. Once you were comfortable, he pulled up the back of your shirt to let the cool air hit the burn and to make sure the fabric wasn't irritating the area even more.

He could tell you were still in pain, so he comforted you by running his fingers through your hair. You soaked up every moment of the pleasant sensation, it gave you something to focus on other than the pain.

Single-handedly, he grabbed his phone and pulled up your profile on the music streaming app you downloaded onto his phone so you could create playlists together and share music. He picked a playlist you curated of all your favorite soothing songs and played it quietly for you.

Steve knew music was important to you, most of the time you had at least one airpod in your ear and you were always showing him new music. He loved listening to the songs you found good enough to share with him, and he loved sharing the experience of listening to music with you all because he knew it made you happy.

"Do you have a comfort movie or show?" Steve asked. "Or anything you do to help you fall asleep?"

"Yeah, I get into your bed." You mumbled out a joke, feeling completely drained. Your eyes didn't need to be open to know he was smiling.

"The faster we can get you to fall asleep, the better." He noted.

"Are you tired of me already?" You questioned, another joke.

"Absolutely not." Steve denied with a giggle. "If you fall asleep, you can get through a big chunk of the pain with no awareness to it."

"I was just on a mission for three weeks barely getting any sleep. Just give me a minute, I'll sleep like the dead."

"Why weren't you getting any sleep?" Steve questioned, continuing to rub your scalp.

"They kept assigning me to sleep next to Harvey no matter how many times I asked them to not do that." You explained. "Completely separate cots and sleeping bags and he still tried to get me to have sex with him every single night we were there. Every time I denied him he'd try to spark an argument then I'd get upset and just lay awake because I couldn't turn my brain off."

"He was trying to sleep with you after a whole day on the battlefield? After he said he could never be with someone like you?" Steve questioned. "Did he not break up with you? Is he not exhausted by the end of the day?"

"You'd think there would be significant logistical issues he would consider before trying to initiate but he didn't let anything get in his way." You agreed with Steve. "I have no plans of ever having sex with him again, and he thinks it's a game. Like I'll crumble and whither away without his dick."

"That sounds like a terrible situation you have to put up with everyday." Steve noted. "If I had to look at any of my ex girlfriends every day at work, let alone be on a mission with them for three weeks I don't think both of us would make it out alive, and they would be the ones surviving every time."

You sleepily giggled at his words. "It is pretty terrible, but I'm hoping he will realize soon that there's better dick to be had elsewhere. I'm horny, but never horny enough to have sex with him ever again."

"Wow, you're so strong." Steve laughed. "That was really philosophical."

"I know right?" Your lazy smile stretched.

"If he's making you lose sleep, that's just more proof he's obstructing agents from reaching the objective." Steve noted.

You hummed in agreement, letting the heaviness in your heart and mind settle and the exhaustion in your body take over.

A few moments of silence passed before Steve broke it, his thoughts becoming too loud to keep to himself. "...I really can't imagine getting it up after a whole 12 hour day of fighting... don't think I could ever do that..."

Your smile reappeared. "That's because you actually do your job and you do it well. Harvey just kind've stands there and pretends to be helping. No person in their right mind would be able to get it up after a real day of battle."

"Wow, so you're finally in the phase of admitting that he's bad at what he does." Steve noted.

"Yeah, well, I'm infuriated that we work ourselves to the point of exhaustion and he's just walking around with the audacity to have a hard dick all the time." You noted. "He deserves a life of erectile disfunction, I deserve the audacity of a post mission stiffy."

"See, this is the kind of fire I've been trying to ignite in you this whole time!" Steve enthused. "Who knew that all it would take was a metaphorical boner?"

"Relax, I'm not hard enough yet to hop over the the Avengers." Your voice was getting raspier and quieter by the second, making Steve melt into a puddle. "Give me a little more time, maybe I'll get there eventually."

"Have you tried viagra?" Steve joked.

"Have you?"

"Is your back feeling any better?"

"Why are you deflecting?" You sleepily smiled.

"Sweet dreams, Bug." He covered your eyes with the palm of his hand. "Hope you feel so much better when you wake up."

You grabbed his wrist and directed his hand to the top of your head before letting it go, and snuggling up in the blankets the very best you could. "Thanks for coming to my rescue, Stevie. I love and appreciate you lots."

"Anytime, I love you more."

You dozed off not to long after, and fell into a sleep so deep that you felt like you had woken up in a whole different world. Your phone was ringing, and there was no longer any light seeping through your bedroom window curtains.

Judging by your door being cracked open with lights pouring through and footsteps walking around, you could tell Steve was still in your apartment. Reaching around blindly for your phone, your hand found it and answered the call.

A smile stretched across Steve's face when he heard your sweet, sleepy voice coming from your room. He could tell you were talking to family, so he waited a while until he could hear the conversation wrapping up to come check on you.

It took about fifteen minutes, but he finally came in and turned the light on as he heard some goodbyes.

"I love you so much, Buddy! I'll come see you this week okay? Maybe in a day or two." Your smile was uncontrollable. "No, I cannot bring iron man with me. Am I not cool enough for you anymore?"

Steve raised an eyebrow at you when you looked up at him with a giggle. You motioned for him to stay quiet, then put it on speaker phone.

A tiny little voice came through, and Steve immediately remembered all of the times you told him about your five year old nephew that lived with your sister not too far from the compound.

“What about Captain America?" He questioned.

"I don't know Captain America!" You denied, looking Steve dead in the eye. You laughed as Steve's jaw dropped in response to your antics.

"Yes you do! Mommy showed me a picture of you and Captain America!" He giggled.

"No, that's not Captain America, that's my friend Steve." You joked.

"That's Captain America's name!" Your nephew defended himself.

"No way, really? That must be a coincidence."

"What is your friend Steve's last name?" He questioned.

"I'm not really sure, I'll have to ask him next time I see him." Steve shook his head at you with a mischievous smile while sitting on the edge of your bed. "What is Captain America's last name?"

"Rogers! How do you not know that!?" The boy laughed over the phone. "Don't you work with these people?!"

"I dunno, maybe you should be an Avenger. You know a lot more about this stuff than I do."

"Okay I'm ending this conversation before my son tries to break into the compound and steal Captain Roger's shield." Your sister took the phone away from the five year old.

"Did you hear that Steve? If your shield goes missing, we have a suspect." You told him.

"Oh god... is Captain Rogers in the room with you right now?" Your sister questioned with a sigh.

"No, she's talking to herself. She's kind've crazy." Steve denied earning a laugh from the other side of the phone.

"Tell me about it! I've had to deal with her all my life!" She laughed. "I'll let you go now, Smalls. I'm glad you're okay, let me know if you need anything. Also feel free to come over whenever you want. You know Luca loves you more than anyone in the world, we would take good care of you if you need it."

"Thank you! And thanks for checking up on me, sorry you got that alert, that must've been scary."

"It's okay, I'm just glad you're alright. Stay safe, I'll see you soon."

"See you soon" you agreed before hanging up.

"You're gaslighting a child?" Steve questioned.

"He knows it's a joke." You denied with a tired giggle. "Luca is obsessed with the Avengers but especially you. If I ever actually admitted to him that were close friends he would lose his mind and never leave us alone."

"But he's so cute! You should bring him to the compound and give him a tour!" He enthused.

"I think he would actually combust." You sat up. "Maybe one day, but my Sister doesn't think he's ready for that yet."

"What's her name?"

"Jane, she's four years older than me." You explained. "She called me in a panic because she's my emergency contact. I think Commander Bennett added an injury report to my file so it sent her an automated phone call that I got hurt in battle. It scared the daylight out of her."

"I don't blame her." Steve shook his head. "Thats one of the worst phone calls to ever receive."

"It really is" you agreed. "What time is it?"

"7:30 pm." He grinned. "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better. It just feels like a really bad sunburn now." You explained. "I still feel pretty beat up from the mission though."

Steve nodded his head in understanding. "I got an email from Bennett, you were cleared from the roster for the rest of the week. So you'll start work again on Monday. Oh, also, someone from the hazard team came and picked up your suit to clean it. They reported back to be about an hour ago that it wasn't salvageable so weaponry is making you a new one. Should be done by the time you get back to work on Monday."

"Thank you, Stevie, you're the best." You smiled.

"Ugh, I know right?" He joked, back flopping right next to you.

"I take it back." You laughed, gently flicking his head.

"Fine. Next time, call Bucky." Steve joked.

Your laugh got louder and you shook your head. "Bucky would've left me on the Jet floor to beat the shit out of Harvey."

"Exactly my point." Steve settled with amusement.

"Speaking of Bucky, do we know where he is right now?"

"Probably beating the shit out of Harvey"

"You boys are exhausting." You sign smiled.

"But you love it." Steve pointed out, poking your cheek.

"I do." You admitted.

Comfortable silence fell over the two of you, nothing significant was running through your mind, but you could tell Steve's mind was running around one thought and one thought only.

"... You're hungry aren't you?" You questioned rhetorically, already knowing the answer.

"How could you tell?" He turned his head to look at you with a big beaming smile on his face.

"I know you like the back of my hand, Rogers."

He hummed in agreement. "You're hungry too."

"How could you tell?"

"Because your stomach was growling in your slee- I mean... because I know you so well!"

"Food?"

"Food." He agreed.

"Alright, let's go big guy." You pat his shoulder twice. "You saw me naked today so now I get to wine and dine you."

"Bug!" He barked out a laugh, and his cheeks immediately turned a pretty shake of pink. "Don't you even start with me!"

“Oh, and by the way, if you tell anyone you’ve ever seen me naked, I’ll beat you to a pulp faster than any other agent in the compound gets the chance to call me a whore.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Next part: Expendable

Tag list: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qalijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @ynstark @dbnightingale24

[scarfacemarston]

It's here! My Ko-fi!

Credit to the wonderful @tacticalhimbo for creating this for me. He has done a lot of wonderful writing and creative work for me, so check him out! Please note or reblog to help out, if you're willing! I could really have help spreading the word so I can have some commissions and be able to pay my bills! Characters from all fandoms listed are welcome, but specialties are: Abigail Roberts Marston, John Marston, Bucky Barnes, Yelena Belova, Natasha Romanoff, Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, Dragon Age's Fenris, Cullen Rutherford, Merill, Isabela, Harvey Dent, Poison Ivy, Daniel Molloy, Armand and SO many more.

[scekrex]

An idea? Did somebody just say they have an idea? Oh wait, that would be me! Hi, hello, love, me again, the little pretty devil on your shoulder that encourages you to sin, or rather, create ✨

Just Adam, reader and Lute playing UNO. You probably knew this was coming. It's basically them just playing it like that one video on Smii7y's channel where everybody basically just yells at each other. Honestly it would be so funny to read about them playing, the reader placing a card for Lute, a nice +4 (Fucking hate that bitch, the sole reason for my misery during that game), what he didn't think of was the possibility of Lute having another +4. She put it down on top of the reader's (They play by the rule where the +4 or +2 stack) and Adam just goes "I can't believe you've done this!" (Like the meme with the British dude in sunglasses getting punched in the face), reader laughing and mocking him with "Oh, I cAn'T bElIeVe YoU'vE dOnE tHiS!" with a British accent, but then Adam finds another +4 in his cards, places it down and looks at reader with a satisfactory smirk. When readers sees it he just goes "Fuck, I actually can't believe you've done this. You fuck" with an accusatory tone, realising he has to pick up 12 cards and just flips his cards like Steve Harvey sometimes does at stupid answer during Family Feud saying "Man, fuck this, I ain't playing with you no more! You best believe I'll get my revenge. No damn sex for you" while walking away, obviously directing it for Adam, but Lute just going "DISGUSTANG" and Adam just going "He was not speaking to you, bitch. Mind ya business. This one is mine, there's my life on the line😭". I just see the possibility of them playing UNO while bored in Heaven would be the funniest shit ever 😂 UNO destroys relationships, kids... AND emotionally damages you 😭

Nah bc they'd roast the living shit outta each other. Just imagine how they'd react when playing Mario Kart, they'd tear open each other's throats.

Tired Games

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, crack fic comin' through whoop whoop

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

All you had wanted was a chill evening with your husband and Lute, to relax and enjoy the day off. So you three sat on the floor of your and Adam's apartment, in front of you there was a stack of UNO cards. You had been playing for a couple hours by now and slowly all of you were losing your patience. UNO was one of the games that always ended in fights, either because Lute was convinced the ‘you can stack a +4 on a +4’ rule was entirely made up - she had once shown you a tweet from the company that said doing so was against the rules - or it was like today.

“Hurry up babes,” Adam poked you in the side which caused you to flinch away from his touch and bat his hand away, “Stop that you touch starved bitch.” You slapped a +4 onto the stack, offering Lute the most wicked grin you had in store, “Sucks to be you, bitch.” Lute however was having none of it, she returned the grin, equally wicked and pulled another +4 out of her deck.

The look the first man gave you was priceless, he looked truly betrayed while a bit of annoyance gleamed in his golden eyes, “I can't believe you've fucking done this.” You chuckled to yourself as you poked him back, a small giggle escaped you as he flinched away just like you had. “Oh, I can't believe you've fucking done this, go cry about it bitch,” you mocked him as you laid down. You were starting to get tired but you also wanted to finish the game. The problem was when you grew tired you also grew short tempered and so you knew it was only a matter of time until things would escalate. Still you continued as you put your head in Adam's lap. The brunette looked down on you and offered you a small smile, then his hand was in your hair and for a tiny moment your eyes fell shut as you embraced the warm touch your husband gave you.

The first man stayed silent for a long time as he went through his cards, clearly thinking hard about whether to play the card he had or not. “Hurry up, old man,” Lute grumbled and kicked his shin, that made Adam yelp in pain and scoot backwards a little - he made sure to move drag your body with him so that you could continue to use him as a pillow - to get away from the executor, “Geez, the fuck is wrong with you?” he complained as he played yet another +4 card. The smirk on his face was sweet, so sweet that you genuinely wanted to tear it off and throw it in the trash. You looked at the stack of cards, then up at Adam and back down at the cards. That meant you had to draw 12 godforsaken cards. Fucking 12.

“Fuck that,” you flipped your cards over in anger and pushed yourself up - away from Adam - so that you sat on the floor before you fully got up, “Fuck you,” you flipped Adam off before turning to Lute, “And fuck you too.” With crossed arms and in a shitty mood you walked over to the couch and wrapped your wings around your body in order to hide from the people sitting on the floor. “I ain't playing with you with you no more,” you grumbled quietly, then raised your voice a little so that Adam could hear your threat, “No fucking sex for you.”

Lute's face twisted in disgust and she wrinkled her nose at your words, “Disgusting.” Adam raised an eyebrow and side eyed her, not sure if she truly thought you had addressed to words to her or if she was playing, “Bitch, he was talking to me, this is my punishment, my fucking life's on the line here,” the first human soul in heaven whined and got up from the floor as well. “Don’t forget so is your dick,” Lute reminded the brunette who just groaned at that as he walked over to you. He carefully nudged the tips of your wings apart and really couldn't help the smile when he saw your pointing face. “Aw, c’mon babes, it's just a stupid fucking game,” he hummed as he kneeled down to be on eye level with you, his hands were resting on your knees which were pressed against your chest. “Fuck off, I said what I said,” you mumbled as you were avoiding eye contact. You knew too well that he could plead so prettily with them golden eyes of his, looking straight into them meant risking taking your words back and letting him win. He put a finger underneath your chin and tilted your head slightly, he basically forced you to look at him. All it took was one glance and you were done for, you simply knew you lost.

Your eyes must've given that away because Adam leaned in to give you a short yet soft kiss, “That’s a good boy.” You turned your face away, grumbling something about how he should watch his mouth. “You two done with your shit? Can we continue?” Lute interrupted and while you loved her like a sister, you would've loved to grab her by the wings and throw her out the window. You might save that for later though. You pushed yourself away from the soft fabric of the couch and right into Adam's arms, “Actually,” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his neck so that he could carry you, “I think I’m going to bed.” Tiredness had won you over once again but Lute understood, of course she did. “Feel free to crash on the couch, danger tits,” Adam offered the exorcist but she shook her head, “I’d rather not want to wake up to the sound of you two fucking again, thanks. One time was more than enough.” Adam shrugged, he thought that was fair. And while the two of them had that little conversation, you had already fallen asleep in Adam's arms.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Request: Velvet and Eleanor reacting to Magilou flirting with their younger sibling (the reader) right in front of them.

(Tales of Berseria) Velvet and Eleanor reacting to Sibling!Reader getting flirted with

To quote our lord Steve Harvey, "KILL"

Velvet was always protective of Laphicet and (Y/N), even before she became a daemon.

And since (Y/N) was the last person Velvet had in her life, she wasn't going to let anything hurt them.

Even beyond just protecting them from harm, her big sister instincts still remained.

Which meant especially that people trying to engage romantically with (Y/N) was signing their death warrant.

And so enters: The Magilou.

(Y/N) was in the middle of preparing dinner for the night before hearing footsteps approach them.

(Y/N) "Hey, whoever that is, could you pass me the ladle? I need to do a taste test."

(Magilou) "Oh, here you go, dear (Y/N)!"

(Y/N) "...Oh no-"

Magilou hopped in front of them, dramatically extending her hands upwards to the sky, ladle in hand.

(Magilou) "Fear not, for I, the great Magilou, will help prepare a dish fit for the gods above!"

(Y/N) "Respectfully Magilou, I don't need help. Velvet taught me everything I need to know about cooking."

(Magilou) "Surely you jest! There's nothing Velvet can do that I cannot perform better!"

She leaned in close to them with a smirk.

(Magilou) "In fact, ignore your sister for a moment and listen to my advice! You may even win my heart, should you perform well enough!"

(Y/N) "I...doubt that.-"

(Magilou) "WHAT?! Am I not the prettiest woman you have ever laid eyes on?! How can you resist such alluring charms?!"

(Y/N) "Listening to you speak, for one-"

(Magilou) "Psh! It seems a foul mouth runs in the family-"

Suddenly, a young voice came from behind the two.

(Laphicet) "VELVET! MAGILOU IS PICKING ON (Y/N)!"

(Magilou) "What the-HANG ON YA LITTLE TYKE! I WAS JUST-"

Before the three of them could even blink, Velvet closed the distance from seemingly nowhere

Magilou fumbled with the ladle in genuine shock as Velvet began speaking.

Magilou backed off in fear, hiding behind (Y/N).

(Magilou) "H-Hang on now! I was just playing around, it was a goof! It was a gag!"

(Laphicet) "That's not what I heard! You said that both Velvet and (Y/N) had a foul mouth!"

(Magilou) "And you have a loose one, ratting me out like this!"

Velvet grabbed the ladle from the floor, and hit Magilou over the head with it.

Saying nothing else, she scooted Laphicet to sit next to (Y/N) before crouching down and turning to her sibling with a softer expression.

(Y/N) "Sis, you don't have to end Magilou, it's nothing she hasn't done before. And thanks to you too, Laphicet."

Laphicet nodded with a big smile as well.

(Laphicet) "Mhm!...Oh, we need to clean the ladle now!"

(Velvet) "Yeah. Give me a sec and we'll see how you did on the soup."

Magilou rubbed her injury, muttering to herself.

(Magilou) "Freakin' sister complex-"

(Velvet) "I heard that."

Eleanor was completely against (Y/N) joining her as she chased Velvet and her group, but the Abbey had decreed it so.

Which resulted in both of them being taken as "prisoners".

She feared for their lives, but she didn't realize that she also had to fear for their love life.

And she sure as hell would not let (Y/N) date anyone from this group of misfits.

Especially a certain one.

Well, two, actually. But Velvet didn't really seem to care about dating, thank god.

Neither did option one, but that didn't stop her from being an absolute nusiance.

(Magilou) "(Y/N)!"

(Y/N) was offput by her sudden arrival, considering that they were just in their room thinking.

(Y/N) "What the- Why did you kick open my door?!"

(Magilou) "How can our days be brightened without the young exorcist's beloved sibling? Instead of being with us, you are cooped up in your room!"

(Y/N) "E-Eleanor told me to stay here for a little bit. I'm not exactly inclined to against her wishes-"

(Magilou) "Ah, but you are shackled in here, like a bird in a cage! You must let your wings spread out and fly, little dove!"

(Y/N) "I think I'm good, thanks-"

(Magilou) "Y'know, listening to your big sister all the time will leave you maidenless for the rest of your life! She'll shield you from all the joys and wonders of the world!"

(Y/N) "I'm not doing your laundry, Magilou. And neither is Eleanor!"

(Magilou) "Fine, I'll just have to put on my dazzling magics to get you to see reason-"

(Eleanor) "YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!"

Eleanor stomped towards Magilou, shoving her outside the room before standing at the doorframe, arms crossed.

(Eleanor) "Do not engage my little brother/sister in your tomfoolery! I will not allow it!"

(Magilou) "See? This is exactly what I'm talking about! Eleanor will prevent any kind of love from blossoming-"

(Eleanor) "BE QUIET!"

She turned to (Y/N), getting even more flustered and angry.

(Y/N) "I don't think any other person will be like Magilou...I-I hope."

(Magilou) "Hmph! Both of you don't know a true dazzler when you see one-"

(Eleanor) "All I see is someone trying to leech off my sibling just to get their laundry done!"

(Magilou) "Why does everyone assume that I'm just here for my stinking clothes?! Can't I be here for romance, drama, or even anything else?!"

(Y/N) and Eleanor glared at Magilou.

(Magilou) "And for your information, I was here to recruit either of you to make dinner instead of me!"

(Y/N & Eleanor) "GET OUT!"

[sitkowski]

hum static (twist it, grasp it) ( ryan sitkowski/justin morrow/ricky olson )

pairing: ryan sitkowski/justin morrow/ricky olson cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ friends with benefits, anal fingering, double anal penetration, rough sex, finger sucking, face slapping, biting, choking, justin is the meat in this sandwich and he left his last two brain cells in that bathroom in paris. word count: 3.1k author's note: my first fic for friends in sin miw kinktober is done. this one is for the prompt of 'multiple penetration'. shout out to @ao3userfeistycadavers for running this bad boy. hopefully i actually manage to get my other fics up during the month. please enjoy this! title comes from "static hum" by chelsea wolfe. divider by @saradika-graphics ✨

⇉ masterpost || taglist signups || read on ao3

Justin’s currently trapped in a real life episode of Family Feud. There’s one question on the board: name something your bandmate would ask you out of the blue. And of all the guesses Justin would make, being invited to a threesome was not one of them at all, not even a top five answer. He can literally hear the buzzer sound in his head as he stares at Ricky too long before answering his question. Both Steve Harvey and Ricky are waiting very patiently, the crowd is whispering. Justin is probably losing his mind.

“Repeat that, like I’m five.”

Ricky narrows his eyes at him. “You heard me.”

“Yeah no I did absolutely hear you. I could have sworn you asked me if I wanted to fuck around with you and Ryan. Since when do you and Ryan fuck around?”

Justin’s pretty sure his voice just reached a pitch it hasn’t since he was a teenager. Thankfully no one is around to hear him. Everyone else is dealing with the post show breakdown, and it’s just Ricky and Justin in this hallway, where Ricky dragged him to ask him this very important question.

“Oh no, I broke you.” Ricky reaches up to pat the top of Justin’s head sympathetically. He’s got to stand on his tiptoes to do it. “To answer your question, like six years now? On and off. You gonna answer my question, or are we pretending this never happened?”

The thing is Justin knows he’s in a band of objectively hot dudes. And while the revelation that Ryan and Ricky occasionally sleep together is blowing his mind almost as much as the original question Ricky asked, he’s pretty sure he’d be stupid to say no. He nods, because apparently his ability to speak has vanished as he’s now picturing whatever Ricky and Ryan have been getting up to for the past six years.

Fingers snap in front of his face, and he automatically reaches up to wipe at his mouth in case he’s doing something embarrassing like drooling.

“Uh yeah, no, I’m very much in. When?”

He starts wracking his brain for the next hotel night, and realizes that is where they’re headed after they’re done here. It also occurs to him that he and Ricky are rooming together like they always do these days.

“So I should tell Ryan you’re in for tonight? I need you to be absolutely sure, because the last thing I need is Chris butchering my ass and leaving my body parts along the highway because I fucked everything up.”

He doesn’t have the heart to tell him that Ricky could literally murder Justin and Chris would still love him. “Yeah. Tonight is good.”

Ricky just nods and wanders off to find Ryan, like he asked Justin if they were going to watch a movie when they got to the hotel or something. Justin’s still trying to process it all throughout the rest of the time at the venue. It’s not lost on him that Ryan and Ricky have planned this out, talked about him. He wishes he could have left ahead of everyone else to mentally prepare. Apparently, Ricky’s some sort of mind reader as well as a little sexual terrorist, because he pulls Ryan into the bar instead of towards the elevator when they reach the hotel.

Even though he showered at the venue, Justin showers again since things are going to be happening. It’s a miracle that he doesn’t jerk off before they get there, because he figures it’s pointless if there’s going to be someone else to touch his dick soon. By the time he emerges from the bathroom, both Ryan and Ricky are sitting at the table in the corner.

He feels caught. It’s not an entirely unpleasant feeling.

“Why does this look more like an intervention and less like a threesome?”

Ryan snorts and takes a pull from his vape, and Ricky kicks out the third chair. “Sit for a sec.”

It’s not a suggestion and Justin only hesitates for a minute before sitting down. They’re both looking at him now and he realizes that there’s about to be some sort of talk or feelings or whatever, before anything else happens.

“Is this the part where you two tell me you’re into some very freaky shit—”

“You’re into some very freaky shit. I mean, not on Rick’s level but you’ve got a big mouth. We all know it.”

“Relax,” Ricky says. “You act like I’m gonna chain you up or something.”

“Not the first time at least,” Ryan mutters, and Justin sees him jolt a little when Ricky kicks him under the table. “Have you even done anything like this before?”

Justin raises his eyebrows. “This isn’t my first threesome. Not my first time with a guy either. Two though...”

He trails off because he doesn’t need to elaborate on that. And honestly if he was going to trust anyone like this, of course it would be these two. They’re both staring at him like they’re going to eat him alive and maybe it takes him more than a minute to realize they’ve been looking at him like this for days.

“Is it your first time being fucked by two guys at once?”

“You mean like—”

Ryan makes an obscene gesture that is meant to mimic two cocks and one hole. Justin looks back and forth between the two of them. It’s not that he doesn’t think they’re serious, it’s that he thinks they’re insane. Apparently, some kind of panic shows on his face, and the two of them start having a private conversation with their eyes that makes him want to hide out on the balcony and smoke.

“Fuck, you’ve never bottomed before, have you?” Ricky asks the most obvious question. “You’re a—”

He’s never been ashamed of that, and he isn’t going to start now. “If you say it, I’m going to punch you in the dick and then only one of you will be able to fuck me instead of both.”

Ryan gives Ricky a smug look, and Justin pushes away from the table, making his way towards the bed. They’re both still sitting there, having that same conversation still, so he rolls his eyes and throws himself down on the mattress. Kicking off his shorts, he props himself up on his elbows, waiting to see which one of them is going to move first. While he waits he reaches down to wrap his fingers around the base of his cock, and they watch him before looking at each other and finally moving.

His dick jerks in his hand as they approach the bed, one on either side. Ricky reaches for him first, hand clamping down on his throat to push his head back into the pillows as his mouth comes down over Justin’s. He barely gets a chance to get too into it before Ryan wraps his hand around the edge of his jaw and turns his head so that he can kiss Justin next. Maybe he should be a little concerned with how easy it is to just kiss them both, let them pass his mouth back and forth like a blunt until his lips are swollen and he’s practically squirming into the sheets. But he’s more concerned with the fact they both still have their clothes on.

Finally they let him breathe, if only long enough for Ryan to use that hold on his jaw to make Justin look at Ricky. He absolutely does not analyze what it means that the two of them are smaller than him in some ways and he’s just letting them do whatever they want.

“You with us?” Ricky asks, and Ryan nods Justin’s head for him. “We’re gonna get you ready for us—”

“I, uh,” he knows that saying if you can’t say it, you shouldn’t be doing it is stupid, given the current situation, but he still finds himself stalling on the words in their presence. “Got ready in the shower, I’m good to go.”

Ryan laughs, a little meanly. “That’s cute. He thinks he’s ready.”

Justin absolutely does not whine at that. Except he doesn’t have any control of his mouth at this point, or his hands, which start pulling impatiently at both of them. He needs them to get with the program and get naked already. He tries to tell them that, but his words get cut off by Ricky pressing fingers into his mouth, dragging them over his tongue, pushing them back further. Justin gags, just a little, before he sinks his teeth into those fingers. He wraps his tongue around them, gets them as wet as he can. When Ricky pulls them out, he gives him a quick sharp slap to his cheek. It’s enough to pull a started moan from Justin’s throat.

“No biting,” Ricky says and then he drags his wet fingers down Justin’s chest. “You wanna turn over or you wanna stay like this?”

“You gonna take off your clothes at any point?”

Ryan’s hand comes down on his hip in a stinging slap, and Justin yelps, trying to squirm away from him. It only pushes him further into Ricky.

“Justin, hey look at me,” Ricky’s voice is suddenly deceptively soft, and he turns his head to look at him like he’s told. “You got a safeword?”

If they’re about to play good cock bad cock, Justin cannot tell which is which. They’re fucking with his head and they know it.

“Buffalo.”

It’s the first word that comes to his mind, and something he wouldn’t blurt out during sex. In normal circumstances, anyway. Ryan gets off the bed, moving around to where Ricky’s bags are piled. Ricky gives Justin’s thigh a tap and he just rolls over onto his stomach, shuffling up onto his knees. He hears the sound of shuffling fabric behind him, hears the murmur of voices as they talk behind him. He’s two seconds away from throwing himself onto his back again so he can watch when he feels Ricky’s spit slicked fingers slide into him.

As far as it goes, it doesn’t feel like much more than when he fingered himself in the shower earlier. Justin hitches out a breath and sinks further into the mattress. He feels the sharpness of teeth in his shoulder and the scrape of blunt nails down his back. Ricky’s fingers twist and spread and then there’s more. Because Ryan is edging his fingers in right alongside them. For a hot second, he tries to get away from what is essentially an entire hand in his ass, but then he moans and rocks back into it.

“You think this is enough?” Ryan asks, and Justin realizes that he’s not talking to him, he’s talking to Ricky. “I don’t think we can get any more in.”

Justin couldn’t agree more, all he can think about is how full he feels and how different it will be when they’re both fucking him. He starts to reach for his cock again, but Ryan wraps his free hand around his wrist, pinning it to the bed.

“You and I both know the second you get your hand on your dick, you’re gonna come. Be fucking patient.”

“You still good up there, big guy?” Ricky asks, and he twists his fingers just right.

Justin appreciates the check in but the fact that he’s still expected to form full sentences while they’re stretching him open is some sort of torture. He couldn’t even guess who keeps dragging their fingertips over his prostate, or what else they might be doing behind him.

“I’m gonna kill the both of you, the second we’re done here,” he moans into the sheets. Ryan laughs, and they both pull their fingers out. “Oh thank fucking god.”

His relief is short-lived, as Ryan moves up the bed and fits himself between Justin and the mattress. Justin immediately hauls him into a biting kiss, digging his fingers into his sides, trying to get some kind of control over the situation. But just because he’s under him doesn’t mean he’s got a leg to stand on. Not when he feels Ricky guiding Ryan’s cock into him. Ryan brings his hand up to Justin’s throat, pulling back to look him in the eyes.

“Well, you got one in. Good for you.”

Justin barks out a laugh, “Fuck you.”

The hand on his throat tightens, just a little. Just enough for him to feel it. Ryan gives him that mean smile again. “Yeah. You’re gonna eat those words, Morrow.”

Apparently that’s all the adjustment time he’s getting, and Ryan snaps his hips up. Justin jolts forward, catching himself with his hands on Ryan’s chest and he sucks in a shuddering breath. He lets him set the pace, and knows it’s probably easier that way. When he looks over his shoulder, he sees Ricky’s there, waiting.

“Come on,” Ryan says almost impatiently. The whole talking around Justin thing shouldn’t be doing it for him, yet it is. When Ricky crowds up behind him, fingers absently teasing over his rim where it’s stretched around Ryan’s cock, Justin doesn't think he’s going to survive this at all. Ryan stops moving. “Hold still. Trust me.”

“I do,” Justin blurts out. “I trust you both.”

Ricky braces a hand in between Justin’s shoulder blades, and Justin’s mouth falls open as he feels him sliding in alongside Ryan. It’s more than a stretch, and it’s both uncomfortable and everything he wants. Ryan keeps his hold on Justin’s throat, keeping his eyes on him, obviously checking for any signs that Justin would want to stop. But he couldn't imagine it. He’s suddenly so full that all he can do is breathe in through his nose and try not to claw his way through Ryan’s chest. It doesn’t register to him right away that one of them is talking to him, not until Ricky threads his fingers through Justin’s hair and pulls his head back.

“How does that feel?”

“It’s alotta dick.” Justin’s voice comes out high because of the angle Ricky’s holding him at. “It’s good. Great even. It would be better if you’d move.”

Ricky gives his hair another tug and Justin gasps and writhes up to try and lessen the tension, but it’s no use. Ryan’s no help either, because he wraps his hand around Justin’s cock and starts moving it slowly while both he and Ricky are just inside him, not doing anything.

“Fuck, please, okay I will beg if I have to,” Justin tries to move himself and finds that he can’t, not unless he were to really push for it, but he doesn’t have the brain capacity for it right now. “There is no way you assholes haven’t done this to someone else, fuck.”

“I don’t know about you Rick, but I think he’s ready.”

“Fuck you,” Justin says again, more breathless than the last time.

Ricky lets go of his hair, and pushes him forward, just a little bit more. Ryan’s hand that isn’t on his cock wraps around his jaw, and he feels the bite of his rings as he holds onto his face while Ricky pulls out slowly and shoves back in less slowly, and then Ryan rocks his hips up. All Justin can do is take it, his body pinned between them as they set a pace that makes his brain melt out of his ears. He’s as pliant as he can be, moving with each hard thrust in and slow drag out. Ryan’s let go of Justin’s cock only for him to be able to rub off against Ryan’s stomach while he presses those fingers into his mouth against Justin’s tongue.

“Is it too much?” Ricky asks as he mouths along Justin’s spine.

He can’t speak around Ryan’s fingers, so he just nods his head, pushes back into them as much as he can. It is too much, but it’s exactly what he wants. Ricky grabs onto Justin’s hips harder, yanking him into each thrust while Ryan holds him still. He keeps him grounded. Justin feels like he’s going to melt right off of this bed, off of the fucking planet. Ryan’s wet fingers drag down his face and Justin ducks down to kiss him. Sweat drips down onto Ryan’s chest, stings the little scratches that Ricky’s leaving on his hips and back. 

“You gonna come?” Ryan nips at Justin’s mouth, grins when he nods rapidly. “What about you, Rick?”

“Justin, you gotta tell us if we can come inside—”

“Way to ask now,” Justin mutters, looking over his shoulder. “It’s fine I know you’re both clean.”

Ricky groans and laughs, pressing his forehead against Justin’s back as his thrusts grow shallow and stuttered. He can’t actually feel it when Ricky comes, but he definitely feels it when he pulls out, slumping into Justin as Ryan uses the opportunity to fuck up into him roughly. It gives Justin room to be able to move now and he braces his hands on Ryan’s chest, grinding down on him with every thrust upward. Ricky’s at his side now, plastered against him and reaching between them to get his hand on Justin’s dick. His chin digs into Justin’s shoulder, and he feels his eyes burning into the side of his face.

“Hey Justin,” he says, voice casual as ever as he strokes his cock. “You’ve been so good for us.”

“The best,” Ryan groans out in agreement. He grabs onto Justin’s hips hard and holds him down on his cock, and comes inside of him. “Now you.”

It only takes a few more twists of Ricky’s hand for Justin to come all over his fist and Ryan’s stomach. He slumps forward a little, trying to catch his breath. Ricky pets his hand through his hair, and Ryan pulls him down for a slow kiss. When he turns his head, Ricky is there for kisses of his own. Finally, he’s able to lift himself up off of Ryan and fall onto the bed between the two of them.

“Now how do you feel?” Ricky asks. It’s impossible to miss the snark in his voice, and Justin tries to slap at him but it requires too much effort.

Ryan gives him another hard slap to his hip before he pushes himself out of the bed. ���That wasn’t a rhetorical question.”

“I don’t have the spoons to answer your questions right now. Ask me again in an hour,” Justin somehow manages to twist himself over onto his back. He grimaces as he can feel the come dripping out of him as he moves. “Oh, I feel that.”

Ricky snorts, propping his chin up on Justin’s chest while Ryan disappears into the bathroom. “How against pictures are—”

“If you take out your camera and try to ask me for an update, you’ll never be allowed near my ass again.”

Ricky starts to say something, but Ryan tosses him a damp cloth that hits him directly in the face.

⇉ taglist @deathblacksmoke @ladyveronikawrites @circle-with-me @ao3userfeistycadavers

@rumoured-whispers @dominuslunae @cookiesupplier

if you ’d like to be added to the taglist, you can find the form at the top of this fic! thanks for reading/reblogging 🩷

[iamatinydinosaur]

Hello!!

Could you write about the brozone boys finding out that branch was being token care of by an older troll that was friends with and about the sane age as there gramma?

Hope you have a good day!

A/N: So I thought that I would do this as gifs if that's alright.

So guess what!! ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!!

🌲John Dory🌲

This screams John I don't know why. JD gives me Steve Harvey vibes. He would look so shocked at first but then shake the older Trolls hand so fast thanking them for looking after their baby Branch.

🪻Bruce🪻

Ignore Alyssa saying back rolls (iconic). Bruce would do a double take. He would look from Branch and the old Troll. Then he would put on his most charming smile and thank the Older Troll sincerely for looking after their little brother while they couldn't.

🍀Clay🍀

Clay would go from 0-100. He would have a blank stare and then give the biggest smile while thanking the Troll. So when I think of Clay smiling I immediately go to my baby Jimin's smile.

🪷Floyd🪷

I think Floyd would have tears in his eyes seeing everything unfold. He would feel so guilty but so greatful towards the Troll. Guilty that he missed Branch's childhood and this Troll that wasn't related to him did what him and his brothers should have done.

🐾Branch🐾

Branch would just be staring blankly at his Brothers like "What?"

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 29/02/2024

my rip :)

Season 5 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume GS

Ripped by brubsby

Requested by Memmy! (Request Form)

Hey, it's February 29th, the Leap Year day! The strangest day on the calendar, I realize, ought to be celebrated with a bit of a strange rip to go along with it, and there was certainly plenty to pick from. The channel has seen its share silly rips like :D, utterly unhinged rips like Sex - Steve Harvey, and everything bizarre other kind of weirdness out there like Mr. Rental [B Side] ~ Out of Options or waterwraith pokos. Yet what surprised me about my rip :) wasn't for being the most silly, or most chaotic, or what have you - but rather, for being an utmost perfect blend of all the above kinds of rips, whilst remaining shockingly listenable.

I mean, there's something eyebrow-raising about the rip's mere existence alone. A rip from PONG? As in, one of the first video games ever made, the one from 1972, which barely even had SOUND in it, let alone music? The channel's obviously tackled a number of strange cases of games to rip before, such as the ongoing Circus trend with Five Nights at Freddy's and rips like Chex Invaders, but there really was no precedent for what to expect with this rip before clicking on it - the only prior rip of PONG was a whopping 15 seconds intentionally playing off of how little audio the game has to begin with. How could my rip :) hope to make a relevant joke out of PONG worthy of 3 minutes of runtime?

The answer, as it turns out, was to just do every single thing at once.

It starts off so innocuously too: the joke of adding rapidly repeating PONG sounds of various pitch to form a discordant melody, similar to that of CrazyBus, is a pretty funny bit in of itself! Yet before that bit has had even the slightest time to register, it's joined by Space Jam's infamous backing beat, a source that I've only covered in a good light here through actually impressive rips like Hoopache and Mother, Father, TechnoMan, yet is most well known in the community for being perhaps the most overdone and easy-to-use mashup source of them all. Before THAT has time to settle in, it's joined by yet more infamous mashup sources: The Season 5 demons themselves Yankin and Astronaut in the Ocean of Epic Rap Battles of History: Funny vs. Funnier fame, Crank Dat Super Mario, Watch Me Whip/Nae Nae - and, to note in case you're not listening to the track yourself as you're reading, NONE of these sources ever sound as if they ever go away from the mix. What in its first seconds is nothing but isolated bloops of an ancient arcade machine becomes this absolute cocophany of noise and melodies, yet through some miracle (and skill on brubsby's part) they're guided along to still form some sort of melody.

All the noise is mainly guided by the use of Gangnam Style as a surprise source amidst all the rest, whose melody builds and builds toward its own climactic beat drop Gangnam Style, upon which everything goes silent for just a moment, approximately eight sources all fading at once...before exploding back onto the scene like an unstoppable mob. Its just keeps going like this - by the end, twelve different sources are all competing for attention. Or at least it sounds that way - I genuinely have no clue if some tracks get phased out as the rip progresses, but the rip's noisiness never appears to die down until the very end of its runtime.

Its just such a fun ride until the very end - my rip :) doesn't have any sort of guiding melody to it, no joke to fulfill or prior YTPMV/Mashup/etc its paying tribute to. The rip is pretty much as deep as its title frames it as, as just brubsby fucking around and finding out what can be done with all of these Season 5-infamous sources as the year drew to a close. In that sense its a fitting encapsulation of Season 5 as a whole, doesn't it? The one year where the direction of the channel felt rather aimless, yet not necessarily in a bad way: a lack of obligation to be tied to larger theming and colossal channel events resulted in some of the most unrestrained, individually-ambitious, and fun listens in the channel's entire life. I'm not quite sure if I'd call my rip :) a "banger", but it's the kind of rip that I can't help but respect for the sheer audacity of it alone.

[deusluxuria]

jotaro apathetically reviewing things he found while dumpster diving:

copy of ayn rand's book "atlas shrugged:" yes. where it belongs

vibrator: i broke it open and made some of the metal pieces into jewelry because i hate myself

shrek 2 dvd: hey now why'd you have to go and do that

kenny loggins "danger zone" t-shirt: washing machine broke at the worst possible time so i'm using this as a pillow case rn (i washed it way back when i brought it home don't worry)

license plate that says "luv2pee:" this is my most prized possession. everyone tries to steal it from me

the entire magic treehouse book series on audiobook cassettes: selling this for 1 whole dollar to anyone who will mix it into the sludge metal album of all time

weird welding project that kinda looks like steve harvey: did not come home with me because it makes me upset. my wife is now disappointed in me

university marine biology textbook: jesus christ a billionaire must live in this apartment complex

broken green ipod nano: i would've done something with this but it had some kind of sludge on it that looked like it would give me every disease

chunk of drywall shaped like the state of texas: sold it on ebay for $599.99 lmaooo

[band--psycho]

Fic Recs - August 2023

I'm sorry I've been a bit quiet on here the last few weeks- but keep your eyes peeled because I'm planning something exciting!!

In the meantime, I know it's been a hot minute since I've done a list of recs that I absolutely love; so I thought it was about time I did one!

I hope you all enjoy these as much as I have! 💛

Mayans MC

Gilly Lopez

Gilly Lopez x Reader by @withmyteeth

Gilly Lopez x Reader by @darklydeliciousdesires

Gilly Lopez x Reader - Weekend Getaway by @drabbles-mc

Gilly Lopez x Reader-By The Fire by @cositapreciosa

Johnny 'Coco' Cruz

Coco Cruz x Redaer- Hushed Whispers by @purestxblood

Coco Cruz x Reader by @bullet-prooflove

Coco x Reader by @menofchaos

Marauders

Remus Lupin

Modern!Remus Lupin x Reader by @pray4saint

Remus Lupin x Reader by @lizard-on-a-window-pane

Remus Lupin x Reader by @theemporium

Remus Lupin x Reader-Let Me Ride You by @mrsmikaelsxn

Remus Lupin x Reader -It's Okay by @micheleamidalajedi

Sirius Black

Sirius Black x Reader-Unexpected Results by @xacatalepsyx

Sirius Black x Reader-Delicate by @whorediaries-09

Sirius Black x Reader by @yrluvjane

Poly!Marauders

Poly!Marauders x Reader- Negligence by @futurecorps3

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington

Steve Harrington x Reader by @ghostlyfleur

Steve Harrington x Reader - Meet After In The Afterglow by @upsidedownwithsteve

Steve Harrington x Reader - BETTY by @supernovafics

Steve Harrington x Reader- Buried Feelings by @sweet-villain

Steve Harrington x Reader- Birthday Dream by @lisalay00

Steve Harrington x Reader - Summer Love by @26wh57

Other

Benedict Bridgerton x Reader- Moments Series by @fayes-fics

Harvey Specter x Reader- My Tailor by @fox-bee926

Raymond Smith x Reader x Tangerine-Who You Belong To by @youvebeenlivingfictional

Negan x Reader - Infinity by @little-diable

Bucky Barnes x Reader-Three Times Feelings Went Unspoken, and the One Time It Was by @seishuswife

Steve Harrington x Reader by @ghostlyfleur

Thorin Oakenshield x Reader by @ragingbookdragon

Jinx x Reader - But I Miss You, I'm Sorry by @the-dumpster-fire-of-life

Cal Kestis x Reader - I'm Headed To The Mountains by @spacesurfing

[nancydrewwouldnever]

My only thought is that Chris could maybe argue harder for more (developed) screen time and better (more resolved) character arcs for his iconic characters.

It seems like he’s happy to go along with what he’s given to work with, and he gives the input he’s allowed: aka insist that Johnny’s end monologue is included and doesn’t get cut (which actually does give way to how the Cassandra thing makes sense, so I agree with him on that). But Ryan wrote that for Johnny so it was already there. Chris didn’t come in and try to rework Johnny his way, he just came in and did what he was asked.

The whole endgame thing which is extremely tired discourse seemed that he was fine with letting his character sort of fade away into the background (while leaving it open so if Kevin and co want to bring Steve back…) while the RDJ/Ironman show got the spotlight. You can sort of argue that for what happens in civil war too. How is cap civil war more about Tony once again than anything else?

The Johnny part was fun but some people did say they felt he was done dirty - he didn’t get too much play outside of being kind of treated like a comic relief, though you are right that it was more than just a “throwaway cameo.”

I think it’s why when he does get more creative liberty and say you’ll see more confidence showing in his performances. It’s just too bad that some of these projects haven’t been able to take off. I think his confidence is extremely rattled by some of the lukewarm reception but it’s nice to see at least he/his team wants to continue to get him some more projects where he’d have more producer credits too (sacrifice). Ghosted could have been a lot better but the script was just not it. So maybe it was always DOA regardless. I did like how he helped get those cameos on set (which were arguably the best parts of the otherwise meh movie).

I feel he’s often overshadowed by bigger personalities who make decisions about certain characters he plays (Ryan and Shawn had ultimate say in how Johnny played out), the Russos and the screenwriters and Kevin feige had overall say in how Steve’s arc ended, and likely they all wanted it to center around RDJ:Tony because he started it all.

Sometimes, being adamant about your vision and input on a creative project may have you butting with a few heads but ultimately, sometimes it works out for the better. Look at how bong joon ho fought against Harvey Weinstein to keep his film the way it was against Harvey’s take to change it up. Yes, that cost the film visibility and the chance to be a big box office hit, but it’s considered one of bong’s best films (and a great film overall) and one of Chris’ best films too. I think Snowpiercer walked so parasite could run and that’s all due to bong’s vision and determination to keep it that way.

I hope CE develops better self esteem and trusts his own ability so it can open more doors for him in the future.

(Just my opinion)

Wow, I think you bring up several excellent points, but, in the end, we have to remember what Chris has said about himself absolutely hating confrontation. It's extremely difficult to advocate for yourself or your pov on your character if you feel unable to speak up due to whatever internal struggles you have. But, also, I don't know how much you can even do when you're just coming in for a small supporting role. I think the "system" of the movie simply expects you to do as asked and remain quiet.

[kinonostalgie]

An early scene in "Apocalypse Now" (1979) where Captain Willard is alone in his hotel room was completely unscripted. Martin Sheen told the camera crew to just let the cameras roll. Sheen was really drunk. He punched the mirror, which was real glass, cutting his thumb. Sheen also began sobbing and tried to attack director Francis Ford Coppola. The crew was so disturbed that they wanted to stop shooting, but Sheen wanted to keep the cameras going. At the time he was fighting a drinking problem and his own issues. He got so caught up in the scene and his own inner struggles that he hit the mirror. He believed that continuing the scene would help him face his problems. This was revealed later in a conversation with Coppola and Sheen, and has been shown in the Redux version.

Steve McQueen was Coppola's first choice to play Willard, but McQueen did not want to leave America for three months and Coppola was unwilling to pay his $3 million fee. When McQueen dropped out in February 1976, Coppola had to return $5 million of the $21 million he had raised. Al Pacino was also offered the role, but he too did not want to be away that long, and was afraid of falling ill in the jungle as he had done in the Dominican Republic during the shooting of "The Godfather Part II" (1974). Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford and James Caan were approached to play either Kurtz or Willard. Keith Carradine, Nick Nolte, and Frederic Forrest were also considered for Willard. Nolte has said that he had never wanted a role more than that of Captain Willard, and was very disappointed when Coppola picked Harvey Keitel for the part. When Keitel was fired (Coppola said that Keitel "found it difficult to play him as a passive onlooker"), Nolte thought the role was his, but Sheen eventually won the role.

In a 2015 The Hollywood Reporter interview, Clint Eastwood revealed that Coppola offered him the role of Willard, but much like McQueen and Pacino, he did not want to be away from America for a long time. He also revealed that McQueen tried to convince him to play Willard; McQueen wanted to play Kurtz because he would have to work for only two weeks.

Sheen had a heart attack during the filming. Coppola and Sheen were so worried that backing would be withdrawn by the studio and distributor if news of Sheen's heart attack leaked out that they both kept it quiet. The official shoot schedule said Sheen was hospitalized due to heat exhaustion. After recovering from his heart attack, there was concern that Sheen looked too healthy to be the war-weary cynical assassin that Willard was towards the end of his mission.

It took Coppola nearly three years to edit the footage. While working on his final edit, it became apparent to him that Sheen would be needed to tape several additional narrative voice-overs. Coppola soon discovered that Sheen was busy, and unable to perform these voice-overs. He then called in Sheen's brother, Joe Estevez, whose voice sounded nearly identical, to perform the new narrative tracks. Estevez was not credited for his work as a stand-in, nor for his voice-over work.

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini ♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter four

Pink Peonies

Series masterlist

Previous part: expendable next part: Rearview

Word count: 7,972

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts, anxiety, and sever depression.

The week leading up to your final evaluation was nothing short of absolutely miserable.

Between losing Steve and Bucky, the only two people that made the compound a bearable place for you, fully processing your breakup with Harvey, and the stress that came along with such an important test made you feel like you were completely lost.

You showed up to work and private training like a good little agent regardless of how much internal pain you felt looking at Steve's face. You endured the two hours of uncomfortable silence with him after enduring working alongside Harvey for 5 hours, then went to the gym and worked out to make sure you stayed prepared and in tip top shape for evaluation.

But once your day was done and you were left to your own devices, it felt like you were shattering and crumbling between the walls of reality.

You could barely eat with the constant stomach ache you've had since Friday night, you could barely sleep through the sheer amount of racing thoughts in your head or the pain of your heart that felt physically broken, and in the morning you barely got yourself out of bed.

Showering and brushing you teeth felt like fighting a war, drinking water might as well have been an Olympic sport, your hair stayed up in a bun or a ponytail because doing anything more than brushing it wasn't in the cards for you.

The highlight of your day recently had been a phone call from Jane and Luca around 6:30pm, it was simple but still enough to keep you going. Your sister fed you just enough encouragement to get to your evaluation, and your nephew was just adorable enough to put a smile on your face even if it was short lived. They encouraged you to keep going, and promised they would be there for you on evaluation day.

It was a graduation of some sorts. Agents got to have close friends and family come watch and support them on the test day, and you we're looking forward to them finally getting to be in the compound with you.

However, all the happiness of Luca getting to live his dreams of seeing the Avengers compound was clouded with anxiety about Steve. You knew he would see his favorite superhero, and you knew there was absolutely nothing you could do to keep that from happening. But you were unwilling to not have your favorite little human not at such a monumental achievement in your life.

Luca watching you become an official, fully operable agent was important to him, almost more than it was to you. So you just hoped and prayed that Steve would react kindly to him, and your sister would react kindly towards Steve after knowing everything that happened between you two. For your sake and the five year old's, you needed everyone to just momentarily pretend like everything is alright.

The night before the big day had you in shambles. Your hands had been shaking with anxiety all day long, and as every minute passed and got closer to evaluation day, the anticipation killed you a little less slowly and a lot more aggressively.

You tried everything you could to calm your nerves. The animated movie illuminating your living room was going by unwatched, the comforting bowl of pho you got yourself was getting colder and less enjoyable with every individual noodle you convinced yourself you had to eat, and the quick shower you needed to take turned from a 10 minute task to a 45 minute one. You couldn't convince yourself to get in, then once the hot water rushed against your body with a comforting pressure, you couldn't convince yourself to get out.

Eventually the walls of your apartment felt like they were swallowing you whole, and no nook or cranny could provide you enough peace to calm your mind. So you threw on a big hoodie and grabbed a blanket before walking the halls until making it outside of the high tech building and onto the lawn.

You found a perfect spot tucked away by the building, it was clear enough out to see all of the stars twinkling in the night sky, and the moon was big and bright. So you laid out your blanket, and laid out on the underneath the night sky.

Rather than letting all of your thoughts and all of the new changes in your life scare you, you tried to slow them down and think through them logically. You thought about everything Steve said to you, what his feelings for you meant and how they affected what you thought you once knew about him and what they meant for you in the future.

You thought about how Harvey was probably going to fail his evaluation tomorrow, and how he would proceed after the fact. Would he give up working for Shield, or would he try again come next evaluation day?

You tried your hardest to avoid thinking about Bucky, because the situation with him was a new kind of pain. The platonic love you had for him was immeasurable, and day by day you found it harder to not forgive him. Because when it came down to it, you understood why he told Steve about your one time escapade. But for as long as Steve was upset, you knew it wasn't worth trying to mend your friendship with Bucky.

Rather than trying to run away from all of the hurt in your heart, the stars and the moon encouraged to you sit in those feelings for awhile. You got about 20 minutes into accepting them for what they were and working through them without pushing them away.

A few tears rolled down your cheeks, but you accepted those too. Instead of wiping them off your face, you just let them drip off the bottom of your jaw with the understanding that they would dry when they were ready.

Footsteps and booming laughter approaching from a distance made you sit up instead of laying flat on your back, not wanting to worry the people about to walk though the area. You tucked your knees to your chest and hugged your legs while continuing to watch an occasional lonesome cloud slowly pass by in the dark sky.

All of the grounding work you did to try and calm your mind and ease your broken heart was reversed as the laughter and footsteps came closer, and you started to recognize the people that the voices belong to. And sure enough, they came into eyesight faster than the universe allowed you to walk away.

Steve and Bucky turned the corner, and they were obviously very happy. Their laughter over what you assumed was an inside joke you were never included in didn't falter. Their happiness and humor felt insensitive at the moment, there was a split moment where you couldn't fathom that they were so jovial at time where you haven't genuinely smiled in almost a week.

You curled yourself up smaller and held your breath, hoping they wouldn't notice you or your slow falling tears. Though you were quiet, made yourself small, and sat in the dark on the grass furthest from the concrete path, they were trained to sense other people around them.

As if you had greeted them first they both stopped at the same time, their laughter fading just to give a friendly greeting to whoever was sitting out there. Only when they looked at you did you try to subtly wipe your tears and unblock your nose. With the hood of your jacket over your head, you could tell it took them a moment to recognize it was you.

You could see the very second your identity dawned on them, both of their shoulders fell and Bucky's face looked apologetic. Steve looked at his watch before looking at you.

As if you knew it was going to happen, your eyes met the grass before you let them look into his. You hadn't made eye contact with him since the initial argument, and you knew that killed him slowly and painfully.

They could both tell you were hurt, but especially Steve. Every single day he's seen you at work you looked just a little worse. It was as if you were slowly deteriorating from the person he once knew. Your big bright eyes where now dull and your eyelids were heavy, your pink cheeks were pale, your energy had sunken in.

"The sprinklers go off in two minutes." Steve told you.

Not expecting either of them to actually say anything to you, your brain couldn't process his words.

"What?" You questioned, looking up at Bucky in confusion, still refusing to look at Steve.

"The lawn gets watered every night at 10pm. It's 9:58." Bucky explained, his tone of voice was apologetic with a hint of empathy. "The sprinklers turn on in 2 minutes."

"Oh..." You understood, feeling disappointed that you had to move. "Thanks."

Expecting them to walk away, you stood up and grabbed your blanket off the grass. But when you turned around, they were both still standing there. Both still staring at you.

You moved onto the path, and they still stood there and stared. Not understanding their intentions, you cocked your head to the side and raised a challenging eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" You questioned, requesting them to stop blocking the path so you could get home and far away from them.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked.

"Just peachy" You responded simply, pushing past their two bodies to walk along the path.

They started walking behind you, all three of you needing to get to the same elevator. Your body and mind filled with dread, hoping and praying they weren't going to follow you in and get in the same elevator as you. But just in case they were, you tried your hardest to stop crying. You were far too stubborn to let them get a rise out of you.

"You don't seem very Peachy." Bucky said. You could hear the pout and genuine concern in his voice. "We still care about you, Bug. We're worried about you."

"Don't call me that." You sadly shook your head. "And maybe speak for yourself."

Steve sighed at your comment, and you missed the way he tossed his head back trying his hardest to remain composed. He felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. Of course he cared about you, of course he was worried, but he was also mad and didn't want his words to be misconstrued as him trying to make advances towards you.

Bucky backhandedly smacked Steve's chest, trying to get him to say something. You heard the impact, and tried not to smile at Bucky trying his hardest to make it better.

As suddenly Bucky found out that Steve had feelings for you, he started recognizing that you also had very deeply suppressed feelings for him too. The difference was that you pushed them down because your heart was so disconnected from your soul from the amount of torment you went through on a daily basis. Your confidence had never been lower, you genuinely believed you weren't worthy of love, and no part of your heart was open enough to let in or accept that anyone could ever care for you the same way you did for other people.

The compound wasn't good for you, and he knew they made it worse. He wanted to fix it, he wanted both of his best friends to be happy.

"I care about you too, 306." Steve mumbled, hoping it wouldn't back fire.

You just kept walking, trying to blink back the new rush of tears in your eyes and noting that the sprinklers did really turn on at 10 o'clock.

"Why are you out here so late? You have a big day tomorrow." Bucky noted. "I know you're upset and rightfully mad at us, but I'll be there cheering you on tomorrow. No matter what happens I'm always rooting for you."

"Are you sure that's not going to make things weird?" You sassed, but your comment wasn't directed towards him. It was meant for Steve, and he felt the bitterness in every word.

Once again, you heard Bucky's metal hand make harsh contact with Steve's chest. This time it was accommodated with a small 'oof' but he had nothing to say in response to that comment.

"You're going to do great." Bucky said.

You reached the door to the lobby and Steve rushed to the handle to open it, but you got to it before he did, pulling it open and walking through, letting each of the boys hold it open for themselves.

"Thanks." You accepted.

A thick and uncomfortable silence took over as they followed you to the elevator, waited for the doors to open, then the three of you got into the small confined space together.

The silence was so intense that they could hear your tiny sniffles, and you nearly bumped Steve with your elbow as you rushed to wipe away a tear.

They rode it up to your floor first since they lived 3 floors above you, and you felt immediately relief as it stopped on your floor and the doors slid open once more.

Steve's heart thumped so hard he could hear the rush of blood in his ears. He knew this was his last chance to say something before your big day, and he knew he would kick himself if he didn't.

"Good luck." Steve offered with an artificial tight lipped smile. "It'll be easy for you, promise."

As if he said nothing at all, you got off completely unaffected by his words.

"We love you!" Bucky shouted as the doors closed behind him.

You got back to your place and bolted the locks behind you, not even letting yourself begin to unpack that interaction before diving straight into your bed and willing yourself to sleep.

Unfortunately, the morning came way too fast. Your phone was flooding with notifications from your out of state friends and family wishing you well on your big day. And as you slid into your uniform, and did your hair and makeup, you started receiving texts that your support had arrived to the compound.

Making the walk down to the training room and getting checked in was the scariest part. Once everything was set in place and you were waiting for your evaluation to start, you stretched out your arms, legs, and back while looking out into the crowd of your colleagues friends and family.

Surprisingly, you were feeling pretty good. You spotted your Mom and Dad, Sister and Brother in law, Luca all sitting clumped together. Sitting with them was Bucky and Natasha, who also brought along Tony who sat with sunglasses on and a face so straight while he pretended like he wasn't there.

Then walked in Steve, him and Commander Bennett, and Agent Maria Hill were the three leaders who graded each agent on their final and most important test.

The grading system was simple. It was pass or fail, with a note explaining why.

You could hear Luca's little voice through the small crowd of people when Steve walked in wearing his suit. His tiny little voice projecting the announcement that "Oh my gosh CAPTAIN AMERICA IS HERE!" Was just too damn cute for anyone to ignore. It earned lots of laughs from everyone in the room, and it brought a big smile to Steve's face.

Of course he immediately knew who that voice belonged to, but that didn't stop him from finding him in the crowd and waving at him. He understood why you loved the kid so much, he was just about the cutest thing Steve had ever seen.

He noticed Luca looking at you after he waved at him, so he looked at you too. You had a big smile on your face just for five year old who was bouncing with excitement, but Steve could tell the difference between your genuine happiness and the fake smile smeared on your lips.

Eventually the evaluation started. Agents were tested 5 at a time, all running the same sort of obstacle course and shooting test. By the end of each evaluation, it seemed as though each agent was struggling to catch their breath while dripping sweat. A few of them even sprawled out on the floor the second they crossed the finish line.

But you? When you finished your evaluation Steve noticed you were barely panting. Not a hair on your head was out of place, your makeup was still perfect, he couldn't even spot a single bead of sweat along your hairline.

He knew it would be easy for you, he practically passed you before you were even properly evaluated, but the way you were almost unaffected by the rigorous testing and walked away from it without batting an eye was even impressive to him.

The worst thing Steve took away from this, was the understanding of how deeply down bad he was for you. Because even in the midst of the pain of hurting each others feelings, he was immensely proud of you, and never found you more attractive than in this moment.

Because even as you walked up to the three assessors to collect your results, you still refused to look him in the eye. Although his feelings for you were completely misunderstood, he respected the way you held your ground in order to protect yourself and what you believe in.

It was a big improvement from the way you let Harvey drag you along through miles of mud and utter bullshit.

When you looked down at your papers, a very humble, yet genuine smile took over this time, and Steve was happy to see it. You didn't even bother reading the notes that were written for you before walking away quickly to unite with your family.

Steve watched from afar as your parents embraced you both at the same time. Your mom left kisses on your cheeks, your dad the top of your head. With no hesitation, your sister who had your kind eyes and familiar beauty joined the hug, followed by your brother in law, then Luca who tried his hardest but just ended up with his arms embracing your legs.

He couldn't help but to smile as you bent down and picked up the 5 year old, he flopped upside down before you lifted him up and over your head to sit on your shoulders. His belly laugh bounced off the smooth walls as he reached down and grabbed your cheeks, tipping your head upwards to look at him.

"Can I meet Captain Rogers?" He asked.

In an instant, your authentic smile turned plastic. "Who?" You joked.

Steve stood a little straighter, then made awkward momentary eye contact with your dad. Steve died a little on the inside when he politely motioned asking him to come here, presumably to meet Luca, but a part of him wondered if he had heard the news of what happened between him and his daughter. Keeping a professional face, he did consider that he was about to get his ass kicked by the man who created you.

"Look, Luca, he's coming over now!" Your dad announced.

"Oh, what a joy!" Your sister smiled wide, squeezing your arms and shaking you around a bit.

Okay, Sister definitely knows.

One deep breath for you and Steve, and your brave faces were on.

"Congratulations, Agent." Steve spoke firmly as he approached. "You did great, far beyond expectations."

"Thank you, Captain." Just like that, you made eye contact with him for the first time in a week. It was a testament to deep love you had for your family, but especially for Luca. You'd be damned if you crushed his tiny superhero loving heart, so you did your best to pretend like everything was perfectly normal. Luckily, five year olds can't see lingering pain deep behind your eyes like Steve could. "This is Luca, he's very excited to meet you. He was wondering if you would take a picture with him."

"Hey buddy! I've heard so much about you!" Steve's smile widened at the boy who was in absolute shock, staring right back at him with wide sparkly eyes and a slack jaw. "I heard you're going to join the Avengers soon, is that true?"

"I'm only 5!" The boy giggled.

"What?! You look strong enough to be an Avenger!" Steve enthused, "let me see how strong you are, give me a high-five."

Steve stuck his arm up over your head, and your nephew smacked his hand as per request. After hearing their two hands meet in the middle, Steve pulled his away and shook it off "oh yeah, we definitely have a future superhero on our hands."

"My mommy and daddy said I have to be a teenager before I can be an agent like Auntie." Luca explained.

"They sound very smart." Steve chuckled at the boy who was wise beyond his years. "Is this them?"

Wonderful. Of course Steve would be the man to introduce himself to your family completely unprompted. You watched him shake hands with your dad, sister and her husband, meanwhile your mom went for a full blown hug. In that moment you wanted to shrivel up and let the floor swallow you whole, maybe rip your mom away and correct her mistakes for the improper greeting to such a highly decorated service man. But Steve took it like a champ, and you knew he loved it, which made you want to rip him away and tell him to stay away from your mom for the rest of eternity. You wanted him to stay away from you for the rest of eternity.

Looking around for Bucky and Nat, maybe even Tony, shit, even Harvey to try and get you out of your own personal hell was wildly unsuccessful. The room was far too busy and disorderly to plot an escape plan before your Dad was shoving Steve next to you and Luca with a camera in your face telling you to say cheeeeeeeeessseeeee.

Hopefully your smiling face didn't come across as vicious as it felt when that photo was inevitably plastered across social media for the entirety of the internet to see.

Eventually you managed to peel Luca and your Dad away from Steve and herd your family around the compound and up to your apartment. As you were leaving you could see Harvey with his head down, yet all of his browbeater friends were celebrating around him. It made you roll your eyes, but once again you moved on for the sake of your family.

As you approached the door with your key in hand and family behind you, there was a big, beautiful fresh flower arrangement in front of it with a card. Your mom made some comments about how beautiful it was as you picked it up and let them inside.

You had a feeling you already knew who it was from, so you left it on the kitchen counter and decided to read the card later as you vowed to spend much needed quality time with your family.

Although the beginning of the day was emotionally exhausting, the rest of the day felt like a big breath of fresh air. Spending time with your family in your own home made the compound feel so much warmer than it ever has. A good meal, lots of laughter, and so much play time with the little one had your parents exhausted and shuffling out of the compound around 7pm after more hugs and lots of kisses.

That left Luca and his dad that we're both fast asleep on the living room rug as the TV played a Disney movie, and Jane who was sitting across from you on the couch.

"I can feel you staring at me." You looked over at her with a questioning tone.

She had a loving smile on her face. "I'm proud of you. You've turned into such an incredible woman right in front of my eyes, and I'm just so grateful that I get to look up to my own little sister. How many people can say that?"

"Well, I still look up to you everyday." You denied her complement, but she was still looking at you as if there was more she had to say.  "Cut to the chase."

"You've spent a lot of time crying on my couch, I need to talk about the boy." She stated.

"Which one?" You grumbled. "I hate that there's 3 options."

"Steve." She said sympathetically. "I get to call him that because he hurt my baby sister's feelings."

"At least you didn't hug him." You shrugged. "Kind've don't care about respecting titles anymore."

"I know how much he hurt you, and I know he jumped the gun and is treating you unfairly compared to Bucky. I even know that you feel like your whole friendship with him was just his attempt at trying to sleep with you, but Smalls..."

"Don't say it." You plugged your ears and sunk deeper into the couch cushions.

Jane reached out and ripped your hands away from your ears. "The way he looks at you is just so sweet. And the way he was so kind to all of us and Luca even though you two aren't on speaking terms says a lot about his character. He's head over heels for you."

"The way he looks at me?" You scoffed. "He looks at me like an asset because he wants me to join the Avengers. They all see me like a little worker ant that's going to pick up the weight of their jobs."

"No, that's not it." You sister denied. "You know the truth and you're pushing him away because he hurt you. You hurt him too, even if you didn't mean it. I can see it in his body language that he cares for you, he seemed nervous for you today, and he looked so happy when you did well. That's not someone who's just trying to sleep with you and run."

"Well even if that's the truth, it doesn't matter because he's never expressed any of that to me with his own mouth." You explained. "You know how he handled the situation was wrong, he had no right to come at me with an attitude like that. Him and Bucky had no right to put all the blame on me. If he's having big feelings, he can express them with his big boy words. I'm not going to play a stupid little game with him like we're teenagers."

"I understand, and you're right." Jane validated your emotions. "But he seems really sweet... and he's absolutely gorgeous so maybe you should just consider my point of view."

"Ugh, his gorgeousness starts going blind to your eyes after a few hours. You get used to it, that's not a reason to forgive him." You lied.

"Who are the flowers from?" She quipped, knowing you lied straight through your teeth.

"I don't know."

"Should we read the note?"

"Nope." You looked straight forward at the TV screen. "That's not a question I need answered right now."

"Smalls..."

"What?"

"His gorgeousness never gets old, does it?" She called out your lie.

“... no." You threw your head back in complaint.

Eventually the three of them left as well. The day was getting late and Luca was exhausted from so much excitement, but the second you were alone in your apartment again you felt the weight of the compound right back on your shoulders.

Anxiety bloomed deep in your stomach and crawled up to your heart as you dragged your feet over to the flower arrangement that was left untouched on your counter. Your fingers struggled to open the card, but you got there eventually.

Before you even got to the note, you noticed that the arrangement was made of your favorite flower, pink peonies.

The entirety of your relationship with Harvey, he only bought you flowers once and it was after an explosive argument. Steve and Bucky came over the next day, and without fail both of them barked out a laugh at the flowers he had chosen because they weren't even your favorite kind of flower.

You didn't necessarily remember even disclosing your favorite flowers to them, yet they always referenced the bouquet of sad looking yellow chrysanthemums from the grocery store. Of course you reminded them that the type of flower or where he got them from didn't matter to you, it was just the effort and the gesture. The boys were fast to shut that sentiment down, because really, the pretty pink peonies weren't that hard to obtain, so how he managed to mess that up too was beyond your chivalrous best friends.

It didn't take long before you opened up the card inside and recognized the handwriting on it. There was an obvious effort made as it was written neatly and the lines were nice and straight.

Congratulations, Agent!

      We're all so proud of you and everything you've accomplished through hard work and dedication. We've been keeping an eye on you, and we know this journey has been difficult regardless of how easy you made it look. Watching you grow from a rookie to the highest ranking Agent Shield has ever seen has been a privilege to say the least. Although you're skillful in battle and combat, your kind heart and determination that never faltered through the journey is what will get you far. We see all the amazing qualities that make you not just a great fighter, but a great person. We could always use more people like you, and we're here whenever you're ready. From the bottom of our heart, we hope you consider a place on our team once more.

With warm regards and no pressure,

Steve + Bucky, The Avengers.

(Okay, maybe a little bit of pressure.)

You put the letter down, not allowing yourself to break down and over analyze the potential double meaning behind each of the words. The ache pounding at the back of your skull was already a nuisance, and trying to figure out why the boys were being so nice to you after treating you so poorly and denouncing your friendship was bound to make the dull ache sharper.

You dragged your feet all the way to bed before flopping in and wrapping yourself up into the tightest, fuzzy blanket cocoon.

Even with your accomplishment today, tomorrow was your first day as an official agent, and there was more work to be done.

Just like there would be the next day, and Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday....

Well, Monday through Thursday were pretty uneventful. You dug your head into the new work assignments you got now that you didn't have normal agent training, and you loved every second of it. It was worth all of your blood, sweat and tears to get there. Then you moved on to individual training with Steve that you painfully wished could be over soon.

All week you let him talk at you, and you never verbally responded. Just as much as you didn't want to be there, you could tell he didn't want to be there either. Today the two of you just sat as he showed and explained to you the different kinds of restraints you would be seeing out in the world on missions, then he would put them on himself and show you how to get out of them.

Deep regret was the only emotion you could use to describe the feeling of saying you would finish off your last few weeks with him working through your biggest fear. It seemed like a good idea two weeks ago when you still had full trust and confidence in him, but now he was flailing ropes, zip ties and handcuffs in your face while you sat completely silent, hoping your face wasn't giving away how unsettled you truly felt by this.

Maybe it would've been better if his voice wasn't so low or monotone, maybe if he actually had changed into gym clothes instead of sitting on the floor in his well put together office outfit you would feel less intimidated.

The only words that made you feel less uncomfortable today was that he wouldn't have you practicing any of this until tomorrow. But his words sat heavily on your mind and made your hands shake all throughout the rest of your day, they made you lose sleep that night, pulled your mind away from work the day of, and made the brain noise so loud that you had to listen to music in your headphones to keep your anxiety to a manageable level just to get yourself to even walk to training again.

Trying your absolute hardest not to think about what was about to happen, you looked down at your own two feet and counted each step as you made the walk, and let the melody of your favorite song distract you from reality.

Unfortunately your music wasn't loud enough to drown out the sounds of your name being called from behind you in the hallway empty besides you and one of three people you really didn't want to see.

So, you tried your hardest to ignore the tormenting happening behind you.

"I know you can hear me, stop being a bitch." Harvey's voice cut through the peaceful music.

"Stop walking I'm trying to talk to you."

"Baby, please. It'll only take a minute."

"I swear to fucking god!" This time he shouted and grabbed your arm, yanking it as hard as he could. An excruciating pain through your shoulder manifested as a yelp and your feet stoped in their place. Keeping hold of your wrist, Harvey used his other forearm to dig into your collarbones and shove you against the wall, using his body to cage you in. "Don't walk away when I'm trying to talk to you."

He ripped one of your AirPods out of your ears and stomped it with his foot. "What the fuck do you want?" You questioned, hoping and praying the pain in your shoulder that was radiating down your arm was nothing but a short term reaction to his assault on your body.

"You blocked my phone number, you ignore me when I try to talk to you in person. How am I ever supposed to get through to you?" He scolded, getting all up in your face as an intimidation tactic.

"You're not supposed to." You sassed. "That's the point. Will you let me go now? You're going to make me late."

"Did you pass evaluation?" He asked.

"I'll tell you if you let me go."

"Of course you did." He got even closer and his voice louder. The whole font of his body was pressing into yours, creating an uncomfortable vice between him and the wall. "You never would've passed had it not been for your scheduled time to jerk off Captain Rogers every day."

"Is that what you're telling yourself to feel better about your failed assessment?" You asked, exhausted of the narrative that your success only came at the mercy of the men around you.

"Why would you think I failed?"

"Because you're sloppy, you don't take your job or the training seriously, you've spent more of you energy worrying about me more than yourself, oh, and your uniform still has the rookie patch on it." You let your words flow out of you like venom. Frankly, you didn't care if it upset him, traveled through his blood and left a toxic taste in his mouth.

Your shoulder was killing you, you were tired and angry, and in the middle of an argument with two grown men over the fact that you quite literally did not jerk Steve off. So yeah, you weren't going to bat your eyelashes and smile at a man who had you pinned against a wall.

Harvey was speechless for a moment, so you continued. "So, I don't think you failed, I know you failed. And I didn't only pass because of Steve. He helped me, but I was doing well before him and I'll continue to do well after him."

You used all your force to shove Harvey off of you, in a moment of shock from your words and behavior, he stumbled back. Then, he was angry all over again.

He tried to throw a punch right at your jaw, but you blocked it, and kicked him right in the stomach. Not hard enough to intend to hurt him, but hard enough to knock him off of his feet and flat on the ground.

With a groan and some struggle, he tried to get up. So you left your foot flat on his stomach as a statement. It quickly got him to stay down.

"Don't you ever try to contact me again. Not through my phone, not to my face, never." You practically growled, still trying to make sure he couldn't tell that he had caused you pain.

Once you were positive that you got your point across, only then did you remove your foot from his body, pick up your broken AirPod to keep as evidence, then start walking away.

“Everyone knows what you and Sargent Barnes did." His voice sounded from behind you.

You stopped in your tracks, oxygen momentarily leaving your lungs. "What exactly did Sargent Barnes and I do?" You asked while keeping a stern face, hoping it was all the same rumors that float around about you and Steve.

"I don't even have to tell you, because you already know what you did." Harvey denied your peace of mind. "Now I know what everyone else knows to. I should've never trusted that you were just friends with both him and Captain Rogers, and that you're the biggest slut in this place."

This time you really did walk away, ignoring his last attempts at getting you to bite into his bait by calling you a whore from his spot in the hallway unable to peel himself off of the ground.

Once he couldn't see you anymore, tears flooded your eyes but you couldn't tell of it was from the physical or emotional pain, and your gripped your shoulder trying to rationalize that you didn't need to go to the medical bay.

The last thing you wanted to do now was see Steve, but you hoped he would go easy on you considering the circumstances.

Your faith in his ability to be a kind and empathetic person completely faltered as your pushed through the doors to the gym and he was already angry at you.

"You're late." He told you sternly, his face was set in a disappointment.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and squeezed your shoulder, hoping the added pressure would help sooth your pain.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be late. I was on time then Ha-" You started explaining, looking at him with fear and tears in your eyes.

"I don't need an excuse." Steve grumbled, cutting you off and very obviously in a foul mood.

He started walking towards you with a rope in his hand, and your heart dropped to your stomach. "Wait, please just- I was on my way here but Harv-"

"I don't care, it's fine." Steve cut you off again. "We're already behind on time, let's just start."

He got close enough to touch you, and you instinctively took a big step back, but it didn't even phase Steve. He grabbed your hand off your shoulder and put it behind your back. Bracing yourself for the pain of him inevitably grabbing your other arm, you frantically let the words "he hurt me" Spill out of your mouth like vomit.

But it didn't come out fast enough, and before you knew it, both of your arms were behind your back and the pain shooting through your arm combined with the devastating realization that Steve didn't care about you anymore made you feel like you were going to be sick.

You could feel the rope around your wrist becoming uncomfortably tight, each knot he tied added another knot to your stomach. "Zero percent."

"What?" He questioned.

Your tears spilled over the edge. "Zero percent trust in you right now. Please stop and just listen to me for one second."

"You're only saying that because you're scared of the restraints." Steve rationalized. "I showed you how to get out, you'll be fine."

"You don't understand" You cried, feeling more and more unsettled by the second, a deep panic settling in your stomach. "Please, I'm trying to tell you what just happened and you aren't listening to me"

He finished up the knot then turned around to face you again. "This is the first time you've tried to even have a conversation with me in two weeks, why should I hear you out when you won't even begin to let me speak to you?"

Steve sat you down on a chair, and started tying your feet. Everything in you told you to fight it, but you were feeling unexpectedly scared of him. You knew you could never match his strength to fight off his efforts and you could never outrun him.

Your friend Steve was nowhere to be found, in front of you was only a dark and stormy Captain America. A weapon of a man with no intention of switching on the safety.

By unintentionally denying his affection towards you two weeks ago, you loaded him up and now the barrel was was pointed directly at your chest. Now, there was no empathy for your fear, no husbandry to make you feel more comfortable in a situation you told him you never wanted to be in, and no regard to what you just went through.

"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to tell you now because odds are you're going to hear about it eventually because-"

"Okay then I'll hear about it when it gets back to me. We really need to get this going" He told you. "Just calm down, and try to get out how I showed you yesterday."

"You're mad at me, and I get that, but I need my boss right now." You cried, yanking at the ropes on your wrists and ankles, none of them budging.

"I'm not your boss anymore, I haven't been since you passed evaluation." He told you, setting a timer on his phone for 54 minutes. "I only have an hour for training today because I was double booked. I'm going to leave you here to calm yourself down and figure out how to get out. I'll be right back there, either come get me when you're out, or I'll untie you at the end of the hour if you can't do it."

"Steve, don't walk away from me right now, I'm trying to tell you I need a medic." You said frantically, your panic attack hitting you harder by the second.

"Out on a mission we don't get to pick and choose when we get held hostage, consider this extra practice." He started to walk off.

You felt pathetic as your lungs stung with every panting breath, your hands shook as your fingers tried their hardest to untie the knot Steve made sure to pull extra tight, your stomach churned with uncontrollable fear, and your heart thumped so strongly and passionately that you could hear it in your ears despite the physical pain you felt in chest.

Whenever you had panic attacks, your skin broke out in a red splotchy tint, and the world seemed to spin around like a bad case of vertigo. It felt like the floor beneath you was crumbling and cracking with every moment passing, as the walls slowly closed in and the ceiling came down.

Black fuzzies and watery tears altered your vision as you pushed past the pain and tried to get your hands free. It only took about 15 minutes before the rope fell to the floor and the circulation rushed back to your hands. Untying your feet was a lot easier with two free hands, but still mildly difficult with Steve's knot tying skills and the sharp sting in your shoulder every time you exerted your arm.

You got out, you never doubted that you could. But that was never the point, and Steve would've known that had he ever just listened to you. That only fueled your panicked rage as you grabbed the ropes off the floor and stomped over to him, sitting in the very back corner of the gym watching you with a blank look on his face.

The thick ropes smacked the floor right next to his legs, exactly where you aimed as you snapped them out of your hands. "I have no interest in completing the rest of the hour you so graciously gifted me, and absolutely no interest in training with you ever again."

Steve was taken back by the fiery rage that was being directed at him. He knew he was being hard on you, but he was only being hard on you because he thought you could take it. "Woah, hold on. Let's just take a breather for a second."

"No, I don't need a fucking breather, you dipshit." You shouted at him, tears still flowing, hands still shaking. "I need to go see the doctor, that's what I need and that's what you're not understanding. I needed you to listen, I needed you to understand that I wasn't trying to get out of the lesson. I wasn't scared of your fucking ropes, I was scared of Harvey, and now I'm scared of you."

Steve immediately felt awful as your hand found your shoulder again, now that he was getting a better look he could tell it definitely wasn't in the right place. He gulped understanding that he let his pre-existing bad mood deepen the hole he dug your friendship into. "I'm sorry I didn't realize..."

"Now it's my turn to not care." You cried. "I didn't lose trust in you before, not even after you came into my apartment and yelled at me for what I did with Bucky, maybe a little after I found out our whole friendship was just because you wanted to get into my pants. But this stunt you just pulled? You've broken every ounce of trust I've ever given you and I don't think it'll ever be repaired."

"I- I didn't mean to." He said quietly, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have been so hard on you, I'm sorry, I was in a bad mood and I just... let it out on you and it wasn't fair."

"I don't deserve to be treated like this over one mistake, Steve. One. I'm sorry I accidentally hurt you, it was never my intention and I'll regret that till the day I die but I never deserved this." You cried. "Please just leave me alone now. I don't want formalities or pleasantries in passing, I don't want anymore flowers or congratulations, I don't want anything other than to just be left alone now. Because I can't do this anymore."

"Okay, I'm sorry." He surrendered, recognizing the agony you were truly in over this.

"This was way worse than anything I ever did to you." Your voice cracked. "It's a good thing you aren't my boss anymore, because as far as you're concerned I don't even exist to you anymore."

He couldn't mutter anything close to a proper apology or even a goodbye as you stomped away from him for the very last time.

Next Part: Rearview

OOP… angsty. Sound off in my inbox! I want to hear all your juicy opinions!

Taglist: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qualijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark @sincerelytlh @klaralovescaptainamerica @alexakeyloveloki

[black-arcana]

BUTCHER BABIES Part Ways With Singer CARLA HARVEY

BUTCHER BABIES have parted ways with singer Carla Harvey.

The band announced Harvey's exit in a social media post earlier today (Saturday, July 20). BUTCHER BABIES wrote: "As you may have already guessed, it is confirmed that Carla Harvey and BUTCHER BABIES have officially parted ways.

"Carla has been an integral part of our journey, bringing her unique talent, passion, and energy to the band. We are grateful for the incredible memories we've made together and the impact she has had on our music and our fans. We will miss her greatly and we wish her all the best in her future endeavors.

"We deeply appreciate your support over the past 15 years," BUTCHER BABIES added. "We feel incredibly fortunate to keep making and playing music as our career, and we are excited for this new era of BUTCHER BABIES!

"See you on the road."

Carla added in a separate post: "Over the last 6 months You may have noticed my absence from BUTCHER BABIES posts. After 15 years of dedication, I wanted to let you know that I will not be rejoining the band for any future endeavors.

"I am super proud of my work with BUTCHER BABIES…2 EPS, 5 Full lengths albums and countless tours with our metal heroes! To all of our incredible BUTCHER BABIES friends and fans…you have provided me with some of the greatest experiences of my life! I have loved every second of writing and performing all over the world for you! I have loved meeting you. WOW. I still can't believe this kid from Detroit got so lucky.

"I am not done making music and performing. I WILL see you soon".

Last fall, BUTCHER BABIES completed a European tour without Carla, who sat out the trek in order to undergo emergency surgery on her left eye.

Harvey shared the news of her absence from the tour on October 26, 2023 in a social media post. The 47-year-old singer, who co-founded BUTCHER BABIES in 2010 with fellow vocalist Heidi Shepherd, posted a photo of her performing with her bandmates, and she included the following message: "Here's a picture of a girl in her happy place; unfortunately i won't be in that happy place on the upcoming @butcherbabies Euro run. Love you all but i have to sit this one out!

"I have a history of problematic vision and I had to have a major surgery about 10 years ago in my right eye for a retinal detachment. On our summer tour the telltale symptoms repeated themselves in my left eye. I've been hoping to avoid major surgery but it is clear that it must be done. My emergency surgery will include a healing process of laying face down for a number of days with a gas bubble in my eye."

Carla added: "This is the first time in fifteen years i won't be able to join my friends on stage but right now my health and sight take precedence for me. While I am gutted that I cannot make the tour the risk of me waiting till after a tour to do such a surgery is too great and includes permanent vision loss. The beauty of having two vocalists is that Heidi can cover for me until i'm better!

"Hoping to make it out for part of this euro run…go to the shows, have a blast and support my bandmates for me! I'll see you soon!"

In the comments section, Shepherd voiced her support for her then-bandmate, writing: "Sending all the love and healing. We'll hold down the fort while you heal. We need those beautiful eyes to work!!! Love you!"

BUTCHER BABIES are scheduled to kick off a three-week European tour on July 27 at the Stonehenge festival in The Netherlands.

This past January, Harvey and ANTHRAX and PANTERA drummer Charlie Benante announced that they were officially engaged.

BUTCHER BABIES released a double album "Eye For An Eye…" and "…'Til The World's Blind", in July 2023. The double album celebrates the tenth anniversary of BUTCHER BABIES' critically acclaimed debut, "Goliath", released on July 9, 2013 via Century Media Records.

BUTCHER BABIES' previous album, 2017's "Lilith" was produced by Steve Evetts (THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN, SEPULTURA, SUICIDE SILENCE) and marked the band's recording debut with drummer Chase Brickenden, who replaced Chris Warner in 2016.

In July 2019, longtime BUTCHER BABIES bassist Jason Klein announced his departure from the band. He has since been replaced by Ricky Bonazza.

[thislovintime]

London, January 1968.

“[Karen] Harvey was living in the same apartment building as Tork, at 35 Bedford St., and they cemented a friendship that had started earlier. ‘We’re still very, very good friends,’ she said. Through a girlfriend at one of the art galleries, Harvey also go to know David Crosby. He and Tork were responsible for getting Harvey to move West. 'He [Crosby] fell in love with my girlfriend and took her back to California. Then Peter got this Monkees thing and moved there. Everybody was trying to get me to come to California, and so I eventually went,’ Harvey says. 'She came because I asked her to,’ Tork confirmed during a phone call from California. 'I can’t actually say she was my girlfriend. She was my roommate. She came back and forth for a while. I’m an old fan of hers from way, way back. Karen is a wonderful singer.’ Although she eventually got her own apartment, Harvey spent much of her time at Tork’s house, under the famous 'Hollywood’ sign. 'I was handling a lot of affairs of the house because he [Tork] was working like a slave,’ Harvey said. 'TV work is no picnic.’ With the increasing amount of money and fame through the Monkees’ TV show, Tork moved to a bigger house (once owned by actor Wally Cox) in Studio City. They also needed more room because Tork, Harvey and Robert Hammer, who directed the horror film 'Don’t Answer the Phone,’ had formed a film company called Breakthrough-Influence, whose work included videos for Crosby, Stills and Nash, and Steve Miller." - The News Journal, July 16, 1989 (x)

“I don’t know that it [fame] affected my ability to have friendships. Basically I don’t think I knew how to be or have a friend beforehand, and I don’t think I learned while I was in that operation [The Monkees]. I mean, I had some good buddies, you know, but that wasn’t the same thing, I didn’t really understand. There was only one person in my life that I could turn to when I was hurting who happened somehow to know what it was, what it took to stop me hurting, and that was a woman named Karen Harvey, who later joined me on the West Coast. And I thought, well, here’s a friend come to join me and this will be a real friend. And we were pretty good friends, I guess, but there wasn’t any that, you know, that — I didn’t know what a friend did in a sense of how, on a day-to-day basis, do you maintain your friendships, do you go out of your way to make sure that things are nice and right and, you know, the kind of work that a friendship takes. You don’t just have a friendship without work. And I didn’t know that. And I’m not so sure I know it now.” - Peter Tork, NPR, June 3, 1983

“The producers at one point for some reason decided to take us to Paris, right before we were doing a short tour of Britain — I think one of them had a girlfriend in France, I don’t know. And they took some cameras and they shot us being goofy on the streets of Paris, and that was a lot of fun. And then at the end of the shooting day, ‘Okay, you’re done, go home, go to your rooms, to your hotel room.’ Luxurious hotel room in Paris, who could wish for anything more? Well, I was lonely as hell. So there’s more things than luxurious. So I wrote a couple of songs, just out of, you know, loneliness. One of them will hopefully be forever confined to the dustbin of history. The other one [’Lady’s Baby’] was about the lady that I was living with at the time, and her son. That’s them, that’s my darling Karen, with whom I am still very good friends all these years later.” - Peter Tork during his My Life In The Monkees & So Much More tour, 2013 (x)